#i read up on the cards and it's very interesting i just gotta manage to put my thoughts down somehow so it might take a few more days

[nayruwu]

i remember when i first joined the fandom and read both the manga and the novels i was annoyed at how shinya never really... snapped. it was made clear right at the start how much he despised his family for what they did to him and how badly he wanted to see them fall.

so through the entire course of the books i was waiting for something to happen, for him to be angry, to get revenge, anything. but it never happened. and i was pissed, because i already liked him back then and god it felt like nails on a chalkboard to watch him get stomped on over and over again without ever getting that satisfying feeling of vengeance in return. (his death, his win came quite close in that regard, but well, guren pulled him right back.)

but now, that part is actually one of my favourite things about him! he has every reason to be bitter and hateful, but he's not! he could have made it his goal to gain power like mahiru did, wait for a chance to break free from them, a final act of rebellion, but he never did. because he learned, and he knows better.

his greatest desire is not one of hatred, but something as simple as never abandoning his best friend. and that's his whole thing. despite everything, this boy chose a human's greatest weakness - love. as cheesy as that sounds.

he was developed so beautifully in those novels it makes me sob every time. i miss him. can you tell?

[cinnbar-bun]

first off— I LOVE UR WORK!! i think i just went thru and read everything you have for one piece LOL. second!!! i saw hc / drabble request open !! i have a silly idea that i feel like you can make come into reality.

recently i’ve been watching isekai’s so…imagine. reader getting isekai-d into the one piece world!!! (more specifically, interactions with the cross guild!!!)

A/n: Thank you very much nonnie!! I really appreciate you taking the time to read my stuff. Please enjoy this <3

Getting Isekai'd Into Cross Guild!

Rating: SFW

Relationship: Cross Guild x Reader

Notes: GN!Reader, a bit crack, short and sweet. No relationship is defined so you can assume it to be platonic or romantic <3.

The wonderful Truck-kun granted your wish of getting isekai’d by sending you straight to the One Piece world! How wonderful! 

Except, you quite literally fell on top of Buggy just as he was trying to argue his case to Crocodile and Mihawk. 

Now, they have no clue what the hell just happened but Mihawk already agrees with whatever that just was. 

Buggy is about to scream over the fact you just fell on top of him and Crocodile is wondering how you managed to get here. 

Crocodile assumes a Devil Fruit, Mihawk assumes you snuck in, and Buggy assumes you’re the devil. 

It takes a moment for things to settle down as they demand you tell them what you’re doing here. You explain that well… uh… you’re not really from here. 

Crocodile almost plans to kill you right away because he doesn’t have time for stupidity like that, but you show whatever you have on hand to prove otherwise. 

They’re all immediately entranced by your phone, but they have something they’re also interested in too. 

Crocodile: Your credit cards and money. When you explain how a credit/debit card functions he’s amazed. Tempted to start a bank and overhaul the current financial system. Also loves the excel spreadsheets. The fact this “machine” will calculate all of this for you and put it in a neat list… well… mark him down as interested. 

Buggy: The shiny games on your phone that are colorful and fun. The fact he can “Google” anything and look up new material. 

Mihawk: EReaders and, this will sound hilarious, but text messaging. He doesn’t care to talk, but he thinks that sending texts would be so much more effective and efficient than having to haul himself around the sea or, god forbid, answer a phone call. 

Okay so you did manage to prove you’re not from this world (or that perhaps you were an alien freak but that’s okay) and Crocodile and Mihawk are pretty much entertained. That’s it. You can go. Bother someone else. 

Buggy however, holds you close and pouts. “Can we keep them? Can we keep them pleeeeeeeease???” He begs as if you’re a little puppy. 

Crocodile is against this but Mihawk shrugs and agrees. Whatever. This could be interesting. 

Buggy still doesn’t understand you’re not some circus animal and rambles about what he should have you wear and perform for his show while Crocodile cuts him off. 

Frankly, if you’re telling the truth and have nowhere else to go, you gotta earn your keep. Crocodile just makes a new position for you that shouldn’t be too hard after you said you have 0 combat skills or training. 

You’re basically just their assistant and do menial work that no one else really wants to do. For now at least. 

Buggy is actually… kinda happy you’re so nice to him? He’s used to either worship from his crewmates or abuse from Mihawk and Crocodile, so you quickly become his new favorite person. He’s pretty shocked you’re as nice as you are considering how crappy this situation is, but he’s grateful. Softens up to you right away and loves having your attention. 

Buggy likes to do silly tricks to make you laugh whenever he can, mostly as a way to be the “flashiest” guy in your eyes. He really doesn’t like when others try to take you or away or interrupt his time with you, since he’s a brat and finds you entertaining. 

Crocodile and Mihawk are tougher nuts to crack. Neither of them trust people, but they find you interesting, even though you are incredibly weak compared to others. 

Crocodile always tries to see what you may/may not know about him since you made a few offhand comments that were a bit too… knowledgeable… so he often tries to get you to slip up more or confess to something. He hopes to see if you know something useful that can be used (but also deep down is afraid you know too much). 

Mihawk on the other hand finds you amusing. Plenty of things are similar to your world, but it’s quite clear you’re not used to many aspects of this one. He forms a habit of just watching you or actively messing with you to see your reaction. It’s a bit funny to him, admittedly. 

Of the two, Mihawk is the first to somewhat let his guard down and be a bit protective of you. He figures even if you were hypothetically “dangerous”, he could easily kill you so what does he care? You do your job, you’re entertaining, and you don’t give him a headache. 

Crocodile only lets up when you “prove” time and time again that you are reliable and not trying to go after them or sabotage them. He does think it’s a bit weird you’re eager to help them, considering what they do and what you know, but hey, who is he to complain? 

To sum it up: Crocodile cares the most about you being isekai’d, Buggy cares the least (except when it comes to his perception. He wonders if he’s also got a following there).

Buggy likes showing off his new tricks or discussing silly hypotheticals with you. 

Crocodile likes when your eyes grow wide whenever he drops an expensive item on your desk as a token of his appreciation to you. 

Mihawk likes when you talk him to normally and share deep discussions with him. 

It is a bit strange that there’s some “normal” person with these three villains, but you’ve become important to them. You’re unique and special, practically one of a kind in this zany world. They show their feelings towards you in different ways, but the way they’ve grown attached to you and try to protect you show that you’re valued in their life.

[sommerflue-22]

i loved the childhood crush fanfic of yours! im wondering if your making a yuichiro choice one?

A/n: aaaa thank you sm! and ofc! i hope you like this one too :D

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Childhood Crush | Yuichiro Tokito

Muichiro version

Featuring: Yuichiro Tokito, aged up!Yuichiro

Content Warning: gn!reader, modern setting, fluff, not beta read

Word Count: 1.7k

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At first, Muichiro was the twin who caught your attention. How could he not? He was a kind kid, soft-spoken and very polite. Not to mention, he smiled a lot. You were in the same homeroom class with him back in your first and second year of elementary school. After that, you were separated. You didn't play with him during recess anymore, but it didn't matter because you made friend with his twin.

Yuichiro was an active kid, always running around playing tag or football whenever he had the chance. You were his seatmate for a whole semester during your third year.

One day during PE, the teacher paired you two to play badminton. It was a match made in heaven. You hit the shuttlecock back and forth, not even letting it drop. Sure, Yuichiro was strong, but you managed to match his energy. The game was really intense, your other classmates started to abandon their own games and watched you and Yuichiro instead.

From that day, you and Yuichiro were pretty much inseparable. You played together during recess, sat next to each other in science lab, exchanged collectible cards. Just two active kids having fun every day.

You remembered the first time you realized that, hey, Yuichiro is such a good friend... but he made your little heart beats a little faster, unlike the other kids.

Yuichiro came to school one day, eyes wide and a big grin plastered on his face.

"(Y/N), (Y/N)! Guess what?!"

"What?"

"You have to guess first!"

You pouted, annoyed, but gave yourself a few seconds to try guessing the reason Yuichiro's joyful expression. "You... got yourself a new bike?" Yuichiro did tell you he wanted a new bike.

"Ah, I wish! But no!" Yuichiro circled the table and sat next to you. "My Dad got me that dinosaur movie's DVD!"

You gasped, "No, he didn't!"

"Yes, he did!" Yuichiro bounced his feet, excited. "Do you wanna watch it with me after school? Mui don't wanna watch it, he'd rather watch cartoon."

"Eh? Sure! I wanna see the movie too!"

"Alright! Let's go to my house after school!"

The movie was all you talked about with Yuichiro all day. Even during recess, you both didn't join the other kids playing football. Instead, you sat with Yuichiro on the swing set and talked about dinosaurs. When the school bell rang, signaling the end of the class, you both were all packed up and ready to go.

Thankfully, the Tokito's house wasn't really far from school, only a ten minute walk. Once you got there, you borrowed the telephone to call your mom. You told her that you're in Yuichiro's house, about to watch a movie. Your mom let you, but also told you to go home before it got dark.

"All good! Let's go watch that movie!" You gave Yuichiro a thumbs up and he led you to the living room.

You sat comfortably on the sofa as Yuichiro put the CD in the player.

"Yay, it's starting!" Yuichiro plopped down next to you soon after.

"No, it's still the main menu! You gotta push that one there, the 'Play Movie' one! Give me the remote, you're so slow!"

You grabbed the remote from Yuichiro's hand and played the movie.

It was really cozy in the Tokito house. The sofa and the throw pillows were fluffy and soft, the floor was heated, and Yuichiro's mother made them hot chocolate. She also gave you two a bowl of popcorn and a few bags of chips to eat during the movie.

There were a few scenes that made you two jump, but you laughed them all off. Instead of getting scared, you and Yuichiro just commented on how cool the dinosaurs looked. The movie was interesting, but it was quite a long one. Almost two and a half hour long.

Things got a little bit boring when you reached the part where the characters had to plan an escape. It was a lot of talking, not enough dinosaurs. It was the first time the two of you fell silent. You kept your eyes glued to the TV, though, wasn't about to risk missing a dinosaur appearance.

You yawned as the two main characters got left alone by their other friends. They were supposed to guard the front door as the others went to find supplies. You weren't interested in their 'romantic' banter.

You were about to reach out and grab some popcorns when you realized Yuichiro had fallen asleep, his head rested on your shoulder.

Your heart started to beat faster than usual. You didn't know why, maybe because you were afraid of waking him up. As much as you liked watching the movie with him, you couldn't blame him for falling asleep. The movie was still on its boring part and school was tiring. It was normal for him to get tired and fell asleep.

You stayed on your seat and decided to watch the movie again. Wrong move. The two characters were kissing. Mind you, neither you nor Yuichiro knew the movie had a little bit of romance in it. You were just there to see the dinosaur.

But the scene that was unfolding in front of your eyes really made your stomach fluttered. It was your first time seeing two people kiss, and hug each other oh so tightly right after.

I wish I can hug Yuichiro like that...

...what?

You couldn't believe you thought about hugging Yuichiro like those characters. It was a tight hug, a really intimate one. They also did it after they kissed each other.

Gross.

You tried to forget about that feeling, but it never left. It stayed in the back of your mind, coming forward every once in awhile, during random moments you shared with Yuichiro.

By the time you were in the 6th grade, you fully understood that you did like Yuichiro... a little bit (a lot) more than a friend. Yet you never told him.

Apparently someone from another class had a crush on one of the Tokito twins. You had no idea which one, but you saw Yuichiro got pissed off when he found out. You saw him got angry because other kids teased him.

You thought it was better not to tell him about your little crush.

So you kept it to yourself.

You went to the same middle school and high school as the twins. You watched as they grew up to be really attractive. By the time you graduated high school, Yuichiro was already towering over you.

Oh, he's a bad news, alright, you told yourself. Yuichiro was tall, ripped, really good looking, and you waited for him to finish his kendo practices so you knew what he could do with those muscles.

The day after your graduation, you and Yuichiro drove down to the beach and had a little picnic to watch the sunset. It was something that the two of you loved to do since the ninth grade. For Yuichiro, it might be completely platonic. But for you? You loved to pretend that those sunset picnics were dates.

"So... you're moving out this weekend?" Yuichiro asked.

"Yep." You answered, still munching your chips. You got accepted to a really good program in a reputable university. The thing was, it's located on the other side of the country.

"My, my... It won't be the same without you here," Yuichiro whistled. "I mean, we've been friends since like... what, elementary school?"

You laughed, "Back when you still believe in Santa Claus."

Yuichiro threw an almond at you. "I was an imaginative kid... But, anyway... I hope you'll like it there! I'm really happy for you, you know. You deserve this. So go out there and explore the world! Make friends with a lot of people, fall in love with a few, then maybe one day I'll receive an... I don't know, a housewarming party invitation? Or maybe even a wedding invitation?"

You smiled, watching as he popped and almond into his mouth. He had no idea...

"The point is... I'll always be your friend. You can call me anytime."

You sighed. "Well... It would be great if I can find someone else out there, maybe date them, got my heart broken, fall for someone new, repeat the cycle... but I don't think I'll be able to experience those stuff... at least not in the near future."

"Eh?! Why not?!"

You turned to look at him right in his eyes. "Because of you."

Yuichiro blinked a few times before his eyes widened.

"(Y/N)..."

"You don't have to reciprocate. I just need to tell you that... just to let you know." You let out a laugh.

"Ah... thanks..."

Surprisingly, you didn't feel sad. You felt relieved. You finally let go of something that you've been holding onto for so long.

The two of you sat in silence as the sun set. Once you could no longer see the glowing, orange orb, you stood up.

"Right, we should get going, then!" You clapped your hands once. "Let me get the trash and dump them. Oi, Yui, stop zoning out and fold the mat."

You picked up the trash and walked to a nearby trash can. Once you disposed them, you went to a faucet near the stairs to the parking lot to wash your hands.

As you were washing your hands, you felt a pair of strong hands wrapped around your waist.

"Yui—"

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

You let him hold you close, feeling the warmth of his body embraced you, sheltering you from the cold wind.

"Because I don't want you to hate me."

"...Since when?"

"...third grade..."

Yuichiro chuckled, you could feel his breath on your nape. "Oh, (Y/N)..."

Yuichiro turned your body around and soon you were engulfed in his scent, earthy and clean. Your heart was beating like crazy, but so was his.

"So... do you wanna... try it out?" Yuichiro asked, voice quivered at the end.

You chuckled. He was nervous.

"Only if you want to." You lifted up your chin to meet his face.

He rolled his eyes as he leaned down to peck your forehead.

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A/n: I GOT CARRIED AWAY AJASOFEJOHGE

[grison-in-space]

Hi! I've just stumbled onto the dogblr side of Tumblr and it seems fascinating. Could you recommend any fundamental reading/watching material for people who want to start learning about dog training/behaviour/cognition? It would also be cool to hear about how you, personally, got into it if you're okay sharing- it seems like a niche field and I'm curious about what the journey might look like for different people. Thanks! ^.^

Oh, sure! Bear in mind that my particular path is, um, actually much weirder than most folks': the dog training with clients is a very new (and very part time) development in my professional life. In my full time job, I'm a postdoctoral associate in neuroscience working on motivation and decision-making in the context of animal behavior. And even for that, my career path has been bizarre: I started out in population genetics, did the PhD in behavioral ecology with a side of metabolic neuroendocrinology, and have now wound up in a NIH-oriented lab focusing on topics related to sex differences, neurodivergence and addiction.

It just occured to me that the dog training thing puts me squarely on the grounds of applied animal behavior research, which means that I've done it! I've poked into all the disciplines that can be described as Animal Behaviour and collected all the achievements! I really gotta reinvest in the Animal Behavior meeting, huh. Oh, wait, no: I'm forgetting behavior genetics, which is an area of strong interest I've poked around the edges of but never myself published in.

See, animal behavior as a formal study contains at least four different disciplines of study that really only loosely interact with one another. Behavioral ecology often appears in concert within ecology and evolution, and it focuses on the study of animals within their own natural context according to their own concerns and experiences. Neuroscience is typically thinking in terms of understanding the mechanism of the human brain, and behaviorism is similarly trained on the universal mechanisms of learning and behavior. Applied animal behavior involves studying how to most effectively, safely, and ethically manage animals in human care, including both domestic animals and captive wild ones; it also covers finding out how to teach animals to do complex but useful behaviors, like training working animals. Neuroendocrinology involves studying how hormones effect changes in the brain and body: metabolic hormones, stress hormones, sex hormones, the works. Behavior genetics (and epigenetics) include studying the effects of genetic variation on behavior itself.

It's certainly not uncommon for people to jump fields once or twice, or to straddle an intersection of approaches over their careers. It's.... less usual to bounce around one's career to quite this extent, which I attribute to the fact that a) I have quite a bit of fairly obvious ADHD, b) I've never worked for anyone who hasn't had their own case bedeviling our focus, and c) I graduated directly into COVID, which meant that I had to figure out a solution on the fly when all the positions I had intended to cultivate dried up overnight.

Not that I'm bitter.

As for how I got into the dog training gig, essentially I like dog training, I really like this outfit, and I have some credit card debt I would really like to pay down. I wanted to meet and talk to more dog folks in the area and I also really missed teaching—I taught every spring and fall through my 8yr PhD, I'm good at it, and I really enjoy it. Since I've respected (almost) every instructor I've had through this outfit, and the one exception involved being listened to immediately about my concerns and increased supervision in response, and I knew that one of my instructors worked part time with them, I figured it might be a neat side gig. So far, that's been bourne out.

I also do have some longer term plans to do some behavioral genetics and neuroscience work on dogs, and I would like to incorporate some noninvasive experiments that use dogs from the general public. My facility also has a robust doggy daycare program and it'd be rad to work with them to build opportunities for everyone in a few years. I'm hoping to leverage a permanent tenure track job at my institution over it, but I might go in several directions from here. Predicting the direction of my career has been a losing proposition so far, so let's see what seems good at the time and stick around as long as I'm having fun.

As for how I got into dogs and dog behavior specifically? In addition to the ADHD, I'm autistic enough to have been diagnosed as a tween girl in the 00s, and my special interests never quite leave —they just flare up and simmer down in long periods over my life. Dogs are the first and earliest of these; my parents told me that they'd seen me gravitating towards the family Lhasa from pretty much the moment I could roll over on my belly. That seems about right. Dogs have been my gateway to huge corridors of my intellectual world, and dog training specifically have been a hobby for some time. In addition to my training gig, I'm experimenting with functional service tasks to support me as burnout and neurodivergence have limited my capacity.

Books and reading recs I'll try to get to later, mm falling asleep right now.

[lizardperson]

wildcards

[on ao3]

fandom: fallout new vegas characters: female courier & arcade gannon rating: m wc: 620 prompts: #fff259 house of cards for @flashfictionfridayofficial

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"...but anyway, Julie doesn't agree with me on that," Arcade concluded his tale as he sipped on his beer. "She might be on to something there," Gabriel conceded, much to the doctor's chagrin. Mika meanwhile was busy building a house of cards on the table with her caravan deck, apparently bored by the men's conversation. The three had met up for a drink at the Atomic Wrangler, as they often did when Mika and Gabriel were in Freeside. "Hey! No unsanctioned gambling in my establishment!" Francine yelled while passing their table, startling Mika and causing her to collapse the whole installation. "Does this look like gambling?" Mika yelled back, collecting the cards. "I am building something grand here!" "I have my eye on you!" the bartender threatened, unable to hide a grin. "You hitting on me, Francine?" Mika shot back and gave her a wink. The other woman just shook her head laughing and went her way, while Mika started her little construction project from scratch. "What are you guys up to tomorrow?" Arcade inquired, finishing his beer. Gabriel grimaced. "Gomorrah." Worst casino on the strip. Second-worst, maybe. "Apparently the Omertas are planning something, and House wants us to check it out," Mika divulged, still half-distracted by her cards. "I still don't get why you two are even working for him," Arcade sighed. "Is that fancy suite really worth it, putting the whole region into the hands of some Old World autocrat?" He gestured at Mika. "You of all people are the last person I would have taken for a hypercapitalist henchman! Woman. Whatever." "Mr. House is the best option if we all want the Mojave to prosper," Gabriel started his spiel, as if he was reading straight from some Lucky 38 marketing brochure. "He sees the bigger picture and has the region's best interests at heart." Next to him, Mika tried very hard not to laugh out loud at his attempt to sound sincere. "Oh come on, you can't be serious," Arcade objected, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know what else to tell you, man," Gabriel shrugged, while Mika just chuckled and continued building. This time she managed a third level on her little opus. "The house always wins..." she remarked, trying to put up a fourth level and making the whole thing collapse again. "Until it doesn't." She grinned mischievously at the doctor. "Mika..." Gabriel grumbled, in an attempt to shut her up. They had agreed to keep their little plan between themselves as long as possible as a precaution. Slightly baffled, Arcade looked back and forth between them, the figurative gears in his head visibly turning. Mika had another go at building her house of cards, this time with a different technique, and used a few of the beer bottles on the table as a stabilizing factor. "Sometimes you gotta introduce a few wildcards to change the game, so to speak." "You done with the gambling metaphors?" Gabriel chuckled, getting a stuck-out tongue as an answer. "...you guys are playing some kind of double game," Arcade deduced, not sure what to make of this. She wiggled her eyebrows at him. "If you have some aces up your sleeve, you might be able to break the bank." Gabriel grabbed the deck of cards out of her hands, ignoring her protests. "Enough with this now. And the bad metaphors!" Mika stuck out her tongue again and got up from the table to acquire some more beers, slapping Arcade's shoulder on the way. "Don't worry, buddy, the dice are not yet cast..."

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Prince's Protected | Serpent's Nest

Hello! So I spent a good chunk of my time the other day rereading “come now little prince” (ridiculously good!!) and I was wondering if you would consider expanding on that part in the most recent chapter where the heroes take care of Janus? (Specifically a scenario of Roman taking care/comforting Janus bc I love how you’ve written them in this and would be really interested to see that dynamic shift and how the relationship between the two grows as time has passed) also! I’m in the middle of reading Tales of Thicketdown Forest bc I’m obsessed with your writing and goodness it’s so sweet and has me feeling very soft and I can’t wait to finish it! – anon

Read on Ao3 Masterlist

Warnings: gsw, blood loss

Pairings: roceit

Word Count: 2074

"Stay with me," Remus grunts as he shoulders open the door, hand still pressed to the wound on Janus's side, "we're almost there."

Janus grits his teeth and shoves his cane under him, trying in vain to prop up his weight with his non-working arm. Remus catches him without blinking when it clatters uselessly to the ground. Granted, he still manages to bash his knee into the hardwood floor before he's swung up properly, but that leg was already on its way out in the first place.

"Shit. Sorry."

"Apologize after I'm not bleeding out," he grits through clenched teeth. Remus just chuckles darkly and presses on into the dark apartment.

Now, realistically, they should have gone to the medical facility, but at the risk of sounding paranoid, they weren't sure what else was compromised. Certainly having a bomb explode Janus's car before got in was sign enough that his security needed to be tightened, they didn't need to ask the question of if the medical staff had been infiltrated too. Besides, Janus didn't get to where he is by having only one contingency plan.

He's jolted out of his musings by a rough deposit onto one of the couches, Remus kneeling over him a second later, both hands still pressed to the wound. Janus manages a half-hearted protest at the rough treatment when he catches sight of the fear lingering behind Remus's stoic gaze. Ah, Remus…ever his feral little junkyard dog…so unprofessional when it came to everything but the worst parts of the job. And here he is now, that loyalty glimmering through the mask he wears as a member of the Serpent's crew, as his hands fill with blood that should never have been spilled.

…the blood loss really is getting to him, he's never this introspective sober.

One hand lifts almost on its own to card gently through Remus's hair, leaving a few red trails on his temples and the very tip of his ear. Remus's gaze flies to his immediately, searching for what might have gone wrong, only to twitch when he realizes Janus is only petting him.

"The doc's almost here," he says instead, refocusing, "just hang on."

"It's okay, sweetie," Janus murmurs drowsily, "I know it'll be okay."

"Yeah, it's gonna be fine, you just hang in there."

"My Remus," he coos, still running his hand across Remus's scalp, "my sweet Remus…such a good boy. Feral little junkyard dog…"

"Shit, you really are out of it," he hears Remus murmur distantly, mostly to himself, "doc better fucking get here soon."

He can tell by the blur of black and the fact that Remus moves him to lie down that the doctor is here, but what's more important is that Remus doesn't leave. Instead, he stands where Janus can still pet him, blinking sluggishly at his face as he watches the doctor work. A few sharp pains lance through the pleasant haze and he winces. Remus wraps his arms lightly around Janus's shoulders and holds him there.

"You gotta hold still, Janny, it's almost done. You're gonna be just fine, okay? We'll get you on painkillers and everything, just hang on."

"'S it bad enough for the good stuff?"

Remus must have a conversation with the doctor. Then he shakes his head. "Nah. You're just being dramatic."

"That's my right."

"Uh-huh, and it can be your right even more when you're not about to bleed out on this couch."

"'S my couch an' my blood, it can go where I want."

"As long as it's in your veins and not all over the shit you'll make me clean up, yeah, that's fine."

He tugs lightly on Remus's hair in reprimand as the doctor finishes patching him up. Slowly, the wooziness of blood loss starts to turn into the fog of painkillers as Remus helps him sit back up. He sees the doctor off with a nod and looks around for his cane, noting that Remus must have left his side at some point to stand it back up in its place by the door—what a sweet boy.

"Guys nabbed him already," Remus is saying—ah, yes, the fool who put the bomb under his car, excellent—"I'll be down there tomorrow once I'm sure you're not about to do anything stupid."

"Please, my dear, have a little faith." He goes to push himself up from the couch—

"That," Remus barks sharply, and then there are hands on his shoulders pushing him back down, "like that. That's the stupid shit I need to make sure you don't do."

"Oh, relax, Remus, I am fine—"

"You are not fine, you're just high as shit on painkillers right now that make you think you're fine."

"I'm not high, Remus, I know what that feels like and this isn't it." Janus sighs in frustration when Remus doesn't let go of his shoulders. "Oh, for the love of—I know what painkillers feel like, I know that I'm hurt, now let me up."

If it had been any other operative, perhaps the steel he injected into his tone might have sufficed to make them stop babying him. But oh, no, not Remus, who just gives him a look. What happened to the days when he didn't even have to say anything and Remus would know to back off?

Distantly, he registers Remus's fingers twitching ever so slightly and he realizes must've said that out loud. He lets out a low noise and reaches out to rest his hands on Remus's ribs.

"Shh," he mumbles—are they sure they didn't give him the good stuff? He's having trouble keeping his eyes open—"I didn't mean it."

What happened to the days when I did?

"I know," Remus says, voice softening just a touch, "just like I know you need to move as little as possible right now."

"What," he half scoffs, half laughs, "are you going to babysit me until you think I'm all better?"

"No."

"Good, because—"

"I'm gonna get Roman to do it."

"—that wouldn't work out for—you're going to what?"

And as if he could hear him, which at this point he's not going to put past either of them, Roman walks out from his bedroom. Janus's eyes widen slightly as he comes to take Remus's position in front of him, sitting on the coffee table as Remus hands him something he tucks into his pocket.

"Stay put," Remus says, "I'll be back."

"Oh, so you give the orders now?"

"You're injured, so yeah."

"Hey," Roman says softly as Janus tries to turn and follow Remus's path across the room, "he wasn't kidding, you know, you need to stay still."

At the first brush of Roman's hand against his flank, he sighs, resigning himself to letting the little prince fret over him for a moment. If he can reassure the both of them that he's fine, then perhaps he stands a better chance of convincing Roman that he can actually stand up. A cute little furrow forms between Roman's brows as he looks at the doctor's handiwork, the fingers on his free hand almost ghosting over the stitches.

"You're going to have to be careful of how you lie down," he says, still speaking as though if he said his words too loudly, they might shatter in the quiet air, "keep the stress off the surrounding skin."

"I have done this before, you know."

"I know." Roman looks up to meet his gaze. "That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt."

He's definitely blaming it on the painkillers that he nearly melts at that, reaching out to brush his thumb against Roman's jaw. "I'm alright, little prince."

"So you need to stay still in order to be all the way better."

"Little prince—"

"You barely let me move when you first put my stitches in," Roman says before he can finish his thought, looking up at him with devastating softness, "it's okay. Just sit, I can take care of everything else."

"That's not your job, sweetie."

"But I want to do it. Look—you've done so much for me. For all of us, okay?" He reaches for the hand still brushing his jaw, cupping it between both of his and pulling it to his chest. "And now you're the one who's hurting. Let me look after you for a little bit, okay?"

Janus looks at his little prince, savoring the feeling of his hands wrapped so firmly yet delicately about his own. "Who taught you to be so sweet?"

At Roman's bashful little smile, he sighs, leaning back against the couch and tugging Roman with him. Roman comes, sitting ever so carefully on his non-injured side. Janus frees his hand from one of Roman's and brings the other to his lips, kissing it gently. Sweet little prince…

"Come lean on me."

He rouses himself a little. "Hm?"

"You look tired," Roman murmurs, settling himself more securely on the couch, "come and lean on me if you want."

It takes a fair bit of careful shifting before Janus is leaning steadily against Roman's bulk, his head nestled in the crook of his shoulder, his hair tickling the underside of Roman's jaw. One of his arms is wrapped securely around Janus's shoulders, the other still tangled with one of his hands. His puffing breaths warm the very top of Janus's nose, his chest almost rocking him to sleep as it rises and falls. He turns ever so slightly to press a kiss to the crown of Janus's head and Janus hums.

"You've done this before."

He feels more than sees Roman nod. "Did this with Remus a lot. And the others."

"I'm…sorry."

Roman shifts just enough to squeeze him in a tiny cuddle. "Thanks to you, we won't ever have to worry about that ever again."

He must start drifting there, on the couch, in the arms of his little prince, for he blinks and the light has changed. Now the shadows of the night spill in through the massive windows, thin blue fingers reaching across the floor to touch the base of the coffee table, the chairs, the kitchen island. Has he fallen asleep? Has Roman? Is it still the same day? The familiar bite of the pain has yet to resurface so it can't have been that long—except, of course, if they were lying and they did put him on the good stuff.

It suddenly occurs to him that there is a word for this feeling. When you wake in the night to realize that you needn't move yet, or when you stir from a place only to shift slightly and fall back to slumber. He has a vague memory of hot nights in the middle of the summer where he couldn't fall asleep even with the slightest sheet, only for the heat to break around the wee hours of the morning. He would rouse just long enough to pull over a sheet and then he would sleep again, safe under the gentle chill of the darkness. There is a word for that, isn't there? That precious feeling that can only truly be felt in its moment, lost to the ephemeral grace of memory?

Is he there now? Slipping in between moments as ripples move through water?

But no, there shifts Roman underneath him like a gentle current guiding him back to the world of the waking, and he turns just slightly to see a soft smile on that sweet face.

"Hey," Roman says softly, "how are you doing?"

"'M good."

"Yeah?"

"Yes," Janus murmurs, his eyes already slipping shut again, "thank you, little prince."

"Of course," he hears distantly as he falls back into the waiting arms of the darkness, "you're safe now."

Ah, he thinks, that's the word.

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[vulpes-fennec]

Love on Water Lilies 🪷 (Ch 3)

Summary: Prince Lucien Vanserra of the Autumn Kingdom is all play, no work. Elain Archeron, a waitress and aspiring restaurant owner in the city of Colibri, is all work, no play. Caught in a larger scheme of politics and war, Lucien and Elain are turned into frogs. Will Elain get her restaurant back? Will Lucien ever become Fae again?

Read on AO3 | Masterlist

Elain’s stomach was gurgling, but she’d sooner work another brunch shift at Roy’s Cafe than admit she was hungry first. She’d been watching Lucien steer their raft for the last half hour, waiting for him to call for a break. Yet the prince showed no signs of stopping for lunch. 

Lucien stood on his hind legs, which were long and muscled, just like the legs of his Fae form. His thighs flexed every time he bent slightly at the knee, his upper body pushing the stick into the water with strong, fluid motions. Even as a frog, Lucien was handsome: his skin a vibrant mint green and his underbelly a tan brown. The color green suited him, and so did the thick olive stripe that ran down the center of his sturdy back, framed by ridges of raised skin. 

Though her animosity towards him had abated slightly after his apology, Elain still felt peeved that Lucien refused to give her the riverfront pavilion until the curse was broken. The matching gold band tattooed onto her arm was a constant reminder of her dues. Bargain-bound to a prince of Autumn who inconveniently held all the cards in his palm was the last thing Elain wanted to deal with. And now she was feeling extra cranky thanks to hunger. 

Lucien abruptly stopped the raft. 

“Why’d you stop?” Elain scanned the slow-moving waters ahead for predators. Though Lucien possessed fire powers, she wasn’t keen on seeing how they’d fare in a watery environment. 

“It’s lunchtime.” Lucien pointed at the swarm of gnats buzzing over the water.

“No,” Elain gasped, horrified. The bzzt-bzzt sound from the cloud was more noticeable now, likely due to her frog form’s hunting instincts. Utterly disgusting. 

“Food is food, princess.” Lucien shrugged carelessly. “A frog’s gotta eat.”

“I am not going to eat a bug!” she cried, even though her stomach made a loud protest just at that moment. But Lucien wasn’t listening to her. He set the oar down and positioned himself on all fours, eyes focused on the gnats with predatory interest. 

A long, magenta pink tongue darted out between his lips experimentally, the tip of it sticky and slick under the hot morning sun. Elain was held hostage by a fascinated revulsion as Lucien’s tongue shot into the cloud of bugs. It subsequently recoiled back into his mouth with such force that he fell off the boat. Splash!

Elain couldn’t help but giggle. 

“This is harder than it looks.” Lucien was rather good-natured as he swam back to the raft. 

Elain instinctively held an arm out for him, realizing only when Lucien’s slimy hand gripped hers that she had helped him up the raft. He’s not your friend, she reminded herself, acutely aware of how his webbed fingers slotted against hers. He took everything away from you, remember? Unaware of Elain’s inner turmoil, Lucien tried again. The prince managed to roll his tongue back into his mouth without falling off the raft, but still failed to catch any bugs. 

“I assure you, my tongue is normally far more skilled than this.” Lucien shot Elain a cocky grin when he caught her staring. He puffed his vocal sac, announcing himself to his lunch with a loud ribbet.

“You are disgusting,” Elain rolled her eyes. “I don’t want to hear about what your tongue can do.” Lucien tried again, and this time, a speckle of a gnat came zinging back at him. Elain wore a scrunched-up look of disgust on her face when the gnat disappeared into his mouth. 

“A little tangy. Not very filling,” Lucien mused, looking up quizzically as he parsed out the subtle flavors of gnat. “But you might as well give it a try.” 

“No, thank you,” Elain said primly, crossing her legs delicately from where she sat. Lucien went back to aiming his tongue into the gnat cloud, each attempt more successful than the last. His russet and gold eyes gleamed with challenge and victory, his energy picking up with each successful catch. The prince seemed to be enjoying himself, at least.

“I’m quite surprised a prince like you would eat insects.” Elain made a little raspberry blegh sound when Lucien caught three gnats in one go. 

“Why not? The best part about traveling is trying new things. When else will I eat bugs, if not in frog form?” 

“You could just resolve to never eat bugs,” Elain offered. A gnat! How unfulfilling. She longed for a warm plate of biscuits, chicken with a generous dusting of spices, and well-seasoned greens. Not paltry insects!

Lucien smacked his lips, and peered at something behind Elain’s shoulder. “There’s a fat dragonfly right behind you. Move a little to the left, won’t you?”

Elain let out a terrified cry and covered her eyes. 

“I don’t want to see you eat it,” she shrieked, covering her eyes. Dragonflies were significantly larger to her when she was a small frog, and as big as Lucien’s mouth was, she was quite sure it wouldn’t fit. The notion of seeing half of a dragonfly tail hanging out of his mouth sent shudders of revulsion through her body. 

Lucien burst into pealing laughter. 

“I was only joking, Elain,” he chuckled, slapping his thigh. “You should’ve seen your face when I said that��you’re probably the first frog to be repulsed by a dragonfly.” Elain scowled at the amusement dancing in Lucien’s eyes. 

“I don’t see why we have to eat bugs just because we are frogs,” she grumbled. “Surely there are more things available in the bayou.” 

“Frogs are supposed to eat bugs. You’re the spoiled one,” Lucien teased. “Miss froggy here cannot deign to eat a couple insects, and yet she calls herself a chef. Do her refined tastes only accept the cream of the crop, fresh berries and fish?” 

Elain glared at the prince, feeling her face heat with embarrassment. Lucien was unfortunately right about several things, but she didn’t want to admit it. The crooked, wide smirk on his mottled green face was truly infuriating. 

“If you’re done eating, stop talking and start rowing. Or else I’m going to push you off the raft.” 

—

At some point in the afternoon, Elain had taken up rowing. The shorter length of the stick forced her to keep to shallow waters, which was fine by her. Who knew what kind of creatures lurked in the depths? Alligators, massive fish, snakes, wraiths, and pixies would be eager to nab two frogs as an afternoon snack. She missed the safety that came with being High Fae. Although High Fae weren’t at the top of the food chain, it was still better than being a vulnerable little frog in a big swamp. 

The sky had turned overcast, depriving her of the sun’s path. Swampy waters stretched as far as her eyes could see. The shadowy depths seemed to hold secrets, the still surfaces a warning to those who dared to disturb them. Small deltas rose up, interspersed with mangrove and bushy hedges. 

Meanwhile, Lucien was chilling on his back, hands tucked behind his head and humming softly under his breath. The prince could hold a tune, Elain begrudgingly admitted, and the lilting melody was hauntingly beautiful.

“What song is that?” she asked, when he finished. Lucien lazily opened his eyes, one russet, the other gold.

“An Autumn folk song,” Lucien replied. “My mother used to sing it to me before bed.”

“It’s nice,” Elain offered awkwardly. Queen Daphne Vanserra must have loved her sons very much, if she tucked them into bed instead of leaving the task to palace servants. Mama never did such a thing for us… 

“That’s unfortunate,” Lucien said. “How long ago…?”

“Sorry?” 

“Your mother is no longer alive, right?” Lucien leaned back onto his elbows, eyeing her acutely. 

“Yes…how did you know?” 

“You’re very easy to read,” was all Lucien responded with. Elain frowned, unsure of what to make of his statement. Why does he want to know?

“It was twelve years ago,” Elain decided to say. “I was eleven years old.” 

“And your relationship with her?” 

“I thought you said I was very easy to read,” Elain replied, her words slightly clipped. Females are very easy to read, was probably what Lucien had wanted to say. The frog prince quirked his lips. 

“Some things I don’t know, Elain.” 

Elain pushed the raft along, trying to form the right words. “I don’t miss her that much. She was…an absent parent,” she responded after a while. Lucien only nodded, his expression devoid of the pity that strangers typically showed her. 

“So you’re twenty-three years old?” Lucien mused. “So serious, for a lady so young.” 

“Well, how old are you?” Elain countered. If her knowledge of Prythian courts remained intact after many years out of school, Lucien couldn’t be older than forty. The Autumn Queen was slightly younger than her father, and had birthed the Autumn princes decades apart instead of the quick succession of the Archeron siblings. 

“Guess.” Lucien smirked. 

“Two hundred,” Elain smiled, hoping to wipe that smug expression off his face. “At least.”

Lucien exhaled loudly, shaking his head. “Shit, Elain, I’m not that old. I’m only twenty-nine.” 

Elain sniffed, turning back around. “Somehow, that makes sense, given your party boy lifestyle.” She knew Lucien’s bulging eyes rolling at her absurd remark, but he did not respond, probably because he knew she was right.

She continued to paddle, trying to follow the subtle current downstream. The Bog of Oorid was like a giant, slow-moving river that flowed towards the sea at a snail’s pace. The hot summer air was oppressively muggy, even from a frog’s perspective. And the slime—mucus—on her webbed hands made her grip slick. 

Breathe, Elain, breathe, she told herself. It was like a sodden towel had been wrapped around her face, her shoulders, her legs. The humidity weighed down on her every movement. Dip, stroke, lift. Dip, stroke, lift. 

It was getting harder to see—when did the mist roll in? Elain blinked rapidly, trying to refocus her rapidly deteriorating vision. But it was futile. Breathe, Elain, breathe. A light-headed sensation began to prickle the edges of her consciousness, sending panic coursing through her veins. What’s happening?

The bayou was gone.

Elain only had time to stutter a faint “L-l-lucien?” before she felt herself falling backwards. 

Shadows, howling and shrieking, slipped off a wooden dock. The muddy waters were tinged black as they moved, like ink spilled from a pot, swirling around stones and under tree roots. 

Lucien, still in frog form, being pulled under the water. His green hand, straining for the skies, disappearing under the rippling surface. Was she…was she crying? She was certainly screaming. The prince wasn’t going down without a fight, from the way the dark water churned and splashed, but—

“Wake up! Elain, wake up!” The commanding baritone of a male voice called from somewhere far away. “Wake! Up!” 

Elain gasped upon feeling water hit her face. 

She was flat on her back, something hard underneath her. A cloudy sky swirled above, but everything seemed piercingly bright. Elain blinked. Mismatched, bulging eyes stared down at her, and the massive green mouth—a tad too close to her face—was pursed in a frown. Why is there a frog leaning over me?

Oh, right. Lucien is a frog. 

And he was holding a clam shell filled with water, poised to throw it on her face again.

“Enough!” Elain sputtered, trying to sit up, but it was too late. She received a mouthful of brackish water. “Stop!” 

“Cauldron, Elain,” Lucien said, sitting back on his heels without a shred of remorse for the last throw. “Are you alright?” He made a throaty sound akin to a tsk-tsk and shook his head. “This is what you get for not eating the gnats. You don’t keep your energy up, and you end up fainting while on paddling duty.” 

“I’m fine,” Elain mumbled, trying to ground herself in her surroundings. She rubbed her face with a sticky webbed hand. Lucien is a frog. I am also a frog. The raft listed gentling under her, bobbing on smooth waters. The smells of humidity, vegetation, and fish. I’m in a bayou…I have a slimy green body, a long tongue… 

“You keep your little head down,” Lucien continued to chatter away, rambling about energy deficits and amphibian diets. He had grasped the stick and begun pushing them to a large island, its beaches silty and edged with mangroves. “...can’t travel any further with a fainting frogette, can we?”

“I’ll be fine,” Elain groaned again, though she did not feel fine at all. Was that a hallucination, or some sort of premonition? I don’t have any magic, unless I’m counting the “green thumb” Nesta and Feyre claim I possess. It couldn’t be magic…most Fae children come into their powers by the age of thirteen.  

“Nonsense. Come on, let’s get onto dry land. Or do I need to carry you to shore too?” Lucien had tied their raft to a curling mangrove root, having steered them into a particularly cozy alcove. A couple hops away from them was a flat expanse of rock, shielded from the elements by two mossy logs leaning against each other. Elain supposed that would be home, sweet home for the night.

“I’m not a damsel in distress,” Elain muttered. But her legs wobbled unsteadily when she stood up, forcing her to hold her arms out for balance.

“Alright, suit yourself, princess,” Lucien said, but his hand still hovered near elbow as she tottered to the raft’s edge. Elain managed to hop onto the mangrove root without falling into the water, well aware that Lucien was close behind. She crawled along the smooth root, clutching the sides as she moseyed onto dry land. 

The shore’s cool stone was a relief against her too-hot skin. Elain curled on her side with a huff, trying to ignore the stomach pangs that were stabbing her insides every few seconds. She was so, so tired. Of course I am tired, she rationalized, feeling a bit better after admitting that. Too often Elain was trying to convince herself otherwise so she could rally for the next shift of work. Lucien was no help in the morning, snoring away as I struggled to lash the raft together. I spent half the day rowing. I haven’t eaten anything since last night. But maybe a quick nap will stave off hunger until we reach sweet, sweet civilization again…

Elain’s eyes flew open at the sound of wet smacking against stone. Mere inches away from her a minnow was flopping back and forth, gasping for air. As High Fae, the minnow would have been no larger than the length of Elain’s finger. But as a frog, they were as massive as river carp. 

She sat up, blinking groggily. She must have dozed off, for twilight had fallen and a small fire was crackling merrily over a bundle of sticks. Elain’s gaze drifted about, finding Lucien standing on his hind legs in shallow waters. The frog prince was watching something very closely, and his long legs, bent slightly at the knees, were tense as he leaned forward. 

Faster than Elain could comprehend, the prince snatched a minnow from the water using only his webbed hands. Lucien threw it onto the rock, leaving it to writhe and flop with the other minnow as he swooped down and caught another minnow. 

“How did you do that?” Elain asked in amazement when Lucien walked back towards her, dragging the four minnows by the tail. She had never seen a High Fae catch fish with their bare hands. Seeing a frog catch fish was equally fascinating. Lucien sat by the fire and proceeded to use a jagged bit of rock to clean the fish.  

“I spent a lot of time exploring Autumn’s woods,” Lucien said, flashing her a wide grin. “Catching fish is an essential survival skill all younglings learn.”

“I suppose cleaning it would be easier with a real knife,” Elain mused, inching closer to watch Lucien scrape the scales off, saw off the heads, and remove the bones and guts. Crouching on all fours was oddly comfortable, with her long legs neatly tucked against her belly. She tried not to think about how frog-like she had become in less than 24 hours. 

“It’s about the artist, not the tools,” Lucien remarked, twirling the rock shard expertly between his fingers. He fitted the filet onto a sharpened stick and turned it slowly over the fire, ensuring the filet was cooked evenly without charring.

“Sounds like something my sister would say,” Elain murmured. Lucien looked up, his expression one of interest. 

“You have a sister?” 

“Two,” Elain elaborated after a slight hesitation. Who was she to be opening up to an Autumn prince, who had taken everything from her? “Feyre, she’s younger by two years. She’s an artist. And I have an older sister…Nesta.” 

“Enjoy, princess.” Lucien handed Elain the stick with steaming hot fish. Elain blew delicately, before nibbling at the edge. Without a full set of teeth, she could only use the hard rim of her mouth and her tongue to “bite” the filet. 

The minnow was insanely fresh, and tasted lean and fishy, just like a trout. Just about the tastiest thing Elain had eaten in a long time, or maybe she was just hungry. Elain scarfed it down, the heat singeing her tongue. 

Her belly finally stopped aching, her spirits were lifted.

“Not bad for a spoiled rich prince,” she said to Lucien. “Thank you.” 

“See? I can be nice.” Lucien was already roasting the next filet. “By the way, I have three older brothers.”

“I know.” 

“Quite the fan, are you?” Lucien teased. 

“Don’t be so full of yourself, Lucien,” Elain retorted. 

“Cauldron, I’m only trying to be conversational,” Lucien sighed, shaking his head with mock disappointment. “This is your chance to ask a real prince questions, yet you don’t want to know anything?” Elain glanced at the frog prince, casually sitting on a toadstool and roasting fish like he was any regular male going camping. His self-sufficiency had exceeded her expectations—not that they were high to begin with. 

“Well if you’re opening yourself up to questions, who’s going to be the next Autumn King?” Elain asked. For each kingdom’s ruler was determined by power, not by line of succession. The heir often displayed tell-tale signs from an early age, marking of power that indicated the land’s choice as steward.

“Eris,” Lucien replied, a little too quickly. Elain’s eyes focused on his webbed foot, tapping against the stone subtly. The prince wasn’t being truthful. “Hmmm this fish smells a little plain. If only there was a rosemary bush, or a basil plant nearby,” Lucien said, trying to change the subject. 

“Is he?” Elain pressed on. “What are your plans within the court, then?” 

Lucien shrugged, handing her another stick with freshly cooked fish. “I don’t really have any plans. I’d be happy to just coast my way through life, enjoying what it has to offer.” Elain took the fish, but frowned. “What?”

“What?”

“You seem displeased,” Lucien pointed out. 

She was. Of course Lucien had the sort of lifestyle that enabled him to drink Fae wine and party with courtiers until daybreak. Meanwhile, she had to juggle multiple jobs ever since she was sixteen. Such was the difference in their station, yet the two of them were sitting inches away, sharing a meal. It was hard not to feel a bit resentful with the prince’s cavalier attitude towards his future. 

“I’m not,” Elain lied, opting to take a bite of fish so she had an excuse not to talk. “If you could change one impression people have of you, what would it be?” 

“People assuming I’m a spoiled, rich, party prince.” Lucien’s mouth quirked up.

“Well, now you’re just making fun of me,” Elain scowled. 

“I haven’t been to a party in nearly two days, Elain. I think it’s ample proof I can survive without one.” Lucien gestured at the wilderness around them. “It is exhausting when people only associate with me because of my rank and wealth. What about you?” 

Elain blinked, unsure of what to say. I wish they saw just beyond my looks, she wanted to say. A pretty face certainly helped with tips. Countless males, many of them rich, had tried to court her. And while Elain had considered marrying them to lift her family out of poverty, her suitors never cared about her interests nor her dreams. She would be marrying a cardboard cutout, destined for a loveless eternity. Would that make her selfish? To value her own happiness over her family’s livlihood?

But if she vocalized her true thoughts, Lucien would only consider her vain. And maybe he’d even laugh, if he didn’t think she was particularly attractive. So Elain changed the subject.

“That’s what happened to me.” Lucien cocked his stout head to the side, curious. “People associating with me because of my social status. We used to live in a nice house, with servants and gardens and parties almost every day. But when my father lost his leg in the war, he stopped working. We fell into poverty, and realized that many of our old ‘friends’ did not actually care about us.” Elain’s voice hardened with bitterness. 

“Vassa was the only friend I had left. She didn’t care that I was poor, or that our reputation was abysmal.” 

“True friends are important,” Lucien responded. “You haven’t met him yet, but my best friend is Jurian. You’d probably like him, he’s the responsible one. In some ways.” Lucien gave her a wry smile.

They sat in silence as they polished off the rest of Lucien’s fish. He didn’t touch on the rest of her story about her father, and Elain couldn’t tell if he pitied her, or if he simply didn’t care. 

The darkness enveloping them suddenly made Elain claustrophobic. What kinds of creatures had set their eyes on them, waiting for the ripe moment to pounce? What foreign sounds were concealed by night’s mystery? If she ever made it back to Colibri, she would never take working the evening shift for granted anymore. At least restaurants were warm and bright at night, and alive with chatter and cooking sounds. 

The thought of work made Elain yawn deeply. Fatigue from their hectic day settling over her, now that she had a belly full of food. She was ready to call it a night.

“What are you doing?” Lucien asked as Elain scooped up a clamshell full of water. 

“Putting out the fire?” she questioned uncertainly. “For safety?”

“I set up wards around us.” Lucien gestured to the skies, and Elain caught a faint glimmer of golden webbing, curving above them like a dome. A simple flick of his sticky fingers generated a filament of gold that joined the existing wards. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Oh. Alright.” Elain tossed the clamshell away. “Thank you.” 

Lucien’s fire lowered into a gentle, glowing flame; small enough for sleep, but steady enough to provide assurance in the oppressive gloom. Elain tucked herself against the mossy log, draping a large leaf over her body. 

The silver diamonds of stars shone more vibrantly, the night a jewelry box of constellations and galaxies. Elain spent a few moments scouring the skies before settling on a star that had a more golden glow. Perhaps this star would be a lucky one to cast her wishes. I wish I could make it home. I wish I could get my restaurant back. I wish I was no longer a frog. 

Crickets chirped, and water gently lapped the sandy shores. Elain glanced at Lucien, who lay on his back across from her, his hands interlaced over his round belly. The fire pulsated between them, illuminating his somber face. It seemed the prince was staring up at the night sky, wishing on stars, too. 

It was like looking at a mirror. He did help me when I had my…episode. And he also cooked me dinner…I suppose I should be a bit more gracious towards him, Elain reflected. Though the words were stuck in her throat, Elain managed to eek out a “good night, Lucien.” 

“Good night, Elain,” the prince replied. 

***Lucien***

“And see here…we have a water chestnut,” Elain said, pointing to a cluster of straight, green reeds as they drifted by. “Water chestnuts grow in the mud, and we add them to salads and meat dishes. Oh, and this is the highbush blueberry. In my opinion, they taste better than regular blueberries.” 

Lucien timed the flick of his tongue carefully, snagging one of the dusky blue fruits that hung from the bush as they passed underneath it. 

“They’re sweeter,” he said, with surprise. “The skin is also more delicate. I’d imagine they would bake nicely in a cobbler with fresh cream.” 

“That sounds delicious,” Elain sighed. “Oh look, the saltgrass. We must be going in the right direction, if the water is becoming saltier.” She gestured to the thick rows of light green grass stalks that edged the shoreline. Saltgrass looked like any other marsh plant to Lucien, but somehow, Elain could tell the difference. “We often grind it up as seasoning…it’s a bit sour and it goes well in dressings.”  

Elain had noticeably perked up when she began talking about the bayou’s vegetation. It had all been prompted with a simple question: Lucien asking what the pink flower was (a swamp rose) and whether it was edible (it was). 

She navigated their little raft between lily pads and around fallen logs, narrating like a tour guide as they went. Her large brown eyes sparkled like marbles, her pale green skin glossy under the sunlight. Even the way Elain opened her wide mouth to chatter and the way her entire body turned left-right, left-right, was…kind of cute, Lucien thought. 

Cute? A frog? There was no doubt that Elain as High Fae was the most beautiful female Lucien had ever seen…but as a frog? Mother’s tits, what am I thinking? 

“You sure know your plants very well,” Lucien said distractedly, running a green hand carelessly across the stalks as they passed.  

“Ah…well, the garden was my favorite place,” Elain admitted. Her bright expression dampened a bit, and Lucien could feel his brows lifting with concern. Was…he noted the particular wording she used. The garden she had before they lost everything. “I would spend hours there, laying under the ferns and draping moss, reading books and—” she stopped abruptly, as if realizing she was sharing too much.

“Say it,” Lucien pressed, wanting to hear more. He had a feeling he was smiling, for some strange reason.

“No, you’ll tease me.”

“Now you’ve got me interested,” Lucien chuckled. “Come on. I promise I won’t.” 

“Fine,” Elain huffed lightheartedly. “I would pretend I was a squirrel, gathering nuts and fruits and flowers for a hibernation party. We don’t have many squirrels in Summer, it’s too hot for them here.”

Lucien could see it now, a younger version of Elain in her Fae form, with chubby cheeks and honey-brown ringlets tied back with ribbons, crawling under lush canopies and carefully arranging an assortment of tropical fruits and flowers.

Gods, she must have been adorable. 

His heart clenched. Not only had he been seized by a sudden interest in her life, he was now fawning over what her childhood self must have been like! Lucien shook his head, driving the thoughts away. He was not one to be caught up in the intricacies of a female’s life, no matter how beautiful she was. And he intended to keep it that way. 

“Seems like normal youngling behavior to me,” Lucien responded nonchalantly. “If you come to Autumn, you’ll see plenty of squirrels. Fat brown ones, with bushy tails and beady little eyes.”

“Beady little eyes!” Elain seemed to take offense, placing her webbed hand over her sandy brown chest.

“Oh, they can be aggressive little critters,” Lucien smiled. “One of them bit my finger when I was young. It definitely left a scar.” He held up his left hand and wiggled the froggy appendages. 

Elain leaned in, inspecting his hand closely. Close enough for him to catalog the shape of the dark green speckles on her body, the shimmer of her amphibian green skin. Lucien’s breath stopped a little when Elain looked up, her large brown eyes sweet as toffee pudding in the sunlight.

“I don’t see any scar,” she frowned. An odd pang of dismay twinged in Lucien’s chest when Elain moved away to continue rowing. For once, he didn’t have any witty remarks to offer. “What is the Autumn Kingdom like?” she asked, continuing the conversation.

Lucien’s first thought was bleak: a conniving court, with nonsensical adherence to outdated ideas, and Beron’s red-hot anger. His father’s mood swings were temperamental storms: Beron moved between dour coldness and raging inferno. Lucien’s time in the Forest House was spent between seeking refuge in the library and placating his father’s whims. 

Would it be terrible for me to open up about how much I hate Autumn?

But Elain’s bright expression…no, he couldn’t douse that optimism. 

“It’s a beautiful place,” was what Lucien said instead. “The trees of the forests produce red, orange, and yellow leaves. A vibrant sea of living flame.” Lucien summoned a bit of fire in his palm for dramatic effect. 

“Our valleys are fertile, our farmlands in a perpetual state of harvest.” He inclined his head towards Elain. “Similar to the fields of Summer. Dryden—our capital city—is in the heart of our largest forest. But instead of clearing trees, my ancestors integrated themselves into the existing ecosystem. Our citizens live and work within an interconnecting network of trees and stones, not unlike the squirrels you pretended to be.”

Elain giggled at Lucien’s jest, the tinkling sound of her laugh making Lucien smile instinctively. “I would like to go to Autumn someday, then,” she sighed, staring across the marsh. Lucien perked up. 

“Then come visit,” he offered. Come visit me, he wanted to say. “I’ll give you a special tour.” 

Elain rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you say that to every female, Lucien. But thank you for the offer.” Fuck, that was a rejection, isn’t it? Or maybe she’s being polite with her refusal? Lucien scrambled for a response. 

“I’m being entirely serious, princess.” Elain stared at him, slightly confused. Then she snorted.

“As if you could ever be serious while calling me princess,” she replied amusedly. Her gaze turned forlorn again. “Perhaps. If we ever become Fae again. And once I get my restaurant up and running smoothly.” 

Speaking of which, Lucien couldn’t wait to become Fae again. Life as a frog was precarious, he learned, even while armed with powers. He’d bragged that he’d gone two days without going to parties, but of course he was a bit salty that he was missing out on all the festivities. He could be indulging in rich Summer fare and dancing the night away at Mardi Gras parties. 

Perhaps if they switched back soon enough, he could take Elain to a Mardi Gras party. Show her a bit of fun, maybe even get to know her better.

There goes my imagination again. Stop being delusional, Lucien. Lucien averted his eyes from the female frog who was steadily rowing in front of him. 

Elain is just starting to warm up to me, and bringing her to a party would only confirm her worst impressions of me. Besides, I’m an ugly frog, covered in mucus and warts. If she wasn’t head over heels when I was High Fae, she sure as hell won’t be into me now. 

One minute Lucien was glancing down into the silty waters, resentfully staring at the foreign frog face that had become so familiar to him. The next minute, a dark wisp curled around his leg, almost in a lazy lover’s caress. And then the shadow turned corporeal, gripping his ankle like an iron clamp.

“Elain!” his voice gurgled as the shadow yanked him off the raft and into the water. 

“Lucien!” came her muffled shout. Down, down, down into the muddy river bed the shadow dragged him. Lucien fought, twisting and pulling and paddling and kicking, but to no avail. The fluid darkness towed him along, kicking up silt and knocking him against decaying logs. 

He could see Elain hopping rapidly from log to log up above, but she was losing steam. Gods, no. He was not going to die a watery death. 

Think fast, Lucien! Fire makes light, he rationalized, fire could drive away this darkness. Lucien tunneled into the depths of his magic, grasping for a kernel of power that would unleash hell upon these shadow creatures. But it was not boiling fire that exploded from him. 

It was light. 

Golden, ethereal light poured from Lucien’s webbed fingers like rays of the sun. The beam sliced the shadow being in half, dissolving it into black shreds. But another shadow creature headed his way, wrapping a tendril around Lucien’s waist with chilling cold. Lucien turned himself into a ball of fire this time, the entity leaping back as if it had been burned. Lucien twisted and aimed the golden light for what he presumed was the center of the mass, disintegrating the being within seconds. 

Lucien broke the surface, gasping for air in his tiny frog lungs. Only a second of respite was given, before another shadow creature slammed into him, dragging him down again. 

“Fuck off.” Precious bubbles of air escaped Lucien as he said it, but it was well worth the satisfaction as he carved a clean hole into the shadow entity with the light beaming from his hands. Lucien kicked for the sky, thighs and webbed feet making powerful strokes in the swamp. He didn’t doubt there were more predators down below eager to gobble frogs up, regardless of their light and fire capabilities. 

“Lucien!” Elain was still screaming his name. She was perched on a floating log, brown eyes shining with fear. “Over here!” 

Lucien almost wanted to laugh at Elain holding a stick like a sword, as if it could do anything against those vicious shadow monsters. Still, it warmed his heart that she tried. Lucien swam towards her as fast as he could, his kicking feet in sync with treading arms. 

“Are you alright?” Elain’s voice sounded on the verge of tears as she hauled him up onto the log, her silver-lined eyes scanning the area for any more of the shadows. 

“Are you crying?” 

“N-n-no,” she stammered, but a traitorous tear slipped out of the corner of her big brown eyes. She wiped it away hastily. “I cry because I’m stressed, not because I’m sad.”

“And here I was, beginning to think you’d truly cared for me.” 

“Are you alright?” Elain asked again. She rubbed his back, the slippery coolness of her skin comforting against the heat of the moment.

Lucien took a deep breath. Eris’s warrior training rang through his frazzled state, guiding him into drawing down his adrenaline and soothing the magic that was still roiling within him. His hands were no longer glowing, thank gods, but they still tingled with residual magic.

“Of course I am. Doesn’t my pretty face still look the same to you?” he asked, gathering himself enough to joke some more. 

“What the hell were those things?” 

“I don’t know.” Lucien scanned their surroundings, but thankfully there was no sign of the shadow creatures. It seemed that once they disintegrated, they stayed gone. “I don’t think there are any more.”

“You were…you looked like you were glowing underwater. Was that what drove them away?” 

“Yes.” Lucien’s expression shifted into seriousness as he faced Elain. He held out his closed fist. Elain leaned in, curious. Creating a light so bright—he’d never done it before and wasn’t sure if he could do it again. 

His hands were green and slimy, his fingers webbed and thick. But ethereal golden light remained when he opened his palm. The tiny droplet of light floated up, pulsating and glowing like Lucien had plucked it out of the sun itself. The light was precious, filling some part of his soul that Lucien didn’t realize he was missing. He swallowed the thickness in his throat, suddenly overcome with emotion. 

“Goodness,” Elain breathed. Her large, round eyes gazed unblinkingly at it, her wide mouth opened slightly with fascination. There was not a single trace of judgment on her face, only pure amazement. “This is beautiful, Lucien.” 

Something about the reverence in her voice when she said his name…Lucien’s heart skipped a beat. Fuck. 

“I suppose it’s a useful party trick,” Lucien said carelessly, closing his fist and folding the light away with it. Light. Who else in his family could create a light like this? He turned and began walking down the log, hoping to erase the image of Elain’s wondrous expression from his mind by focusing on his family history.

“Party trick?” Elain repeated, her tone indignant once again. She followed him towards land. “If so, I would like to see it again.”

“Later, later,” Lucien replied, waving his hand.

This wasn’t the first time I’d been in the throes of battle, nor the first time I’d been a target singled-out in an attack. But according to my knowledge of Prythian Fae and monsters, shadow creatures don’t exist on their own. They are a product of magic. 

The fact that he was first turned into a frog, and then singled out by the shadow creatures…something was hunting him. A chill ran down Lucien’s spine. 

Who could it possibly be? He could not think of any enemies in particular. He had traveled across Prythian for years, and never had an issue even while flaunting his status most ostentatiously. So…who?

“The shadow creatures destroyed the raft,” Elain said forlornly. 

“Then we make it back to civilization on foot,” Lucien declared. Elain forged ahead into the thick green vegetation, using the rowing stick to push the leafy plants out of the way. Determined little thing, Lucien observed amusedly as she marched with vigor. 

But if someone was trying to capture him by any means necessary, that meant Elain was in danger, too. The possibility of shadow creatures wrapping their tendrils around her limbs and dragging her into the watery depths made something primal within Lucien rear its head. 

He fisted his webbed palms, feeling his blood boil with each passing second. Elain was scared of the dark, Lucien suspected, and if those shadows enveloped her into a cocoon of darkness, he would…he would…

The large stick Elain was wielding swung a hair too close to Lucien’s head, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Watch it, princess.” Lucien poked her in the back. 

“I can handle a big stick,” Elain retorted. “Just stay out of my way.” She continued to thwack through the brush. 

“How exciting.” Lucien grinned, her careless banter shattering the knuckle clenching thoughts he had earlier. Elain silently made the gesture for go-fuck-yourself without looking back. Lucien rolled his eyes and chuckled.

***Elain***

“Let’s rest up for the night,” Lucien’s voice suggested after what seemed like hours of walking. Exhaustion wore into Elain’s very bones, for she had leaned on constant movement as a way to stave off her anxious thoughts. Lucien’s endless chattering, the plentiful questions he’d asked her about the plants they passed by had also helped, whether he was aware of it or not.

She had foreseen the exact incident this afternoon, and had no idea what to make of it. 

“Alright,” Elain agreed, plopping down on a toadstool. Walking on hind legs also made her lower back ache, but she didn’t want to give that up. Hopping around on all fours would be a commitment—an acceptance—of her existence as a frog. 

At that moment, her stomach made a loud whine. Elain clutched her belly in embarrassment, hoping Lucien didn’t hear it. 

“But first, dinner.” Lucien stepped to the side, waving his green arm with flourish. The prince revealed a large mangrove leaf, laden with all sorts of edible plant matter such as berries and soft greens. 

“How did you do that?” Elain’s mouth dropped open. 

“You were so busy with the big stick that you didn’t realize I was picking up food along the way, hmm?” Lucien chuckled, popping a berry into his mouth. Elain poked Lucien playfully in the stomach with the stick for his remark, which he dodged easily with a teasing grin.  

Elain looked at the leaf more closely, noticing an assortment of the plants that she had previously described to Lucien. The prince had been paying attention to her ramblings about swamp flora, she realized.   

“Thank you,” Elain dipped her head slightly. This was the second time Lucien had scrounged up something for her to eat, and it surprised her: she had assumed the prince would be complaining about their circumstances and expecting her to wait on his every need. Perhaps that was exactly who he was, and he was acting differently to get her good side. Whatever the real reason was, it didn’t hide the fact that she was secretly pleased.

“Anything for you, princess,” Lucien smirked as he casually tossed another berry into the air, catching it with a flick of his long, pink tongue.

The berries and soft aquatic weeds were easy to get down, but the more fibrous plants required more vigorous “chewing”. Elain felt like an animal, smacking loudly as her rigid palate attempted to break down the roots without the use of teeth. 

“Are you alright?” Elain asked again, realizing Lucien had gone oddly quiet. He had said he was fine before, but Elain could tell he wasn’t. The prince sat across from her, his normally smirking mouth serious and his mismatched eyes pensive. The pale scar that cut the left side of his wide, amphibian face looked stark in the twilight. 

It was a moment before Lucien spoke. “I was thinking…Briallyn turning me into a frog and the shadows today seem interconnected.” Elain had suspected that, but to hear Lucien vocalize those thoughts…it solidified just how dire their situation was.

“But Briallyn is just a student,” Elain thought aloud. “Sure, she’s almost a full-fledged witch, but surely there are more skilled practitioners who could do this dirty work.” 

“Not necessarily.” Lucien’s face was grim. “Dark magic of this kind has been explicitly outlawed since the Hybern War ended. Many of the practitioners were killed during the War. Briallyn might have a mentor outside of the Colibri Academy.” His expression was haunted, and Elain wondered if the prince had fought in any of the battles. He would have been in his early twenties, then, a young male eager to prove his skill on the battlefield. 

“You can’t think of anyone who would target you?” The fear that seized her entire being when Lucien was pulled down had been so profound, Elain felt herself tremble at its recollection. 

The roiling shadows, the dark waters…she hated it. And it was getting dark again. She clutched her bit of taro root, hoping Lucien’s protective wards would be enough to keep the shadows at bay.

“I can’t,” Lucien shook his head. “That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out. It was actually…the first time. The first time I’ve been able to produce such light.”

“What do you mean?” Elain’s eyes widened. 

“I was trying to create fire,” Lucien explained. “But instead, light came out. And it’s completely new. I can’t think of any other family members who can do such a thing.” 

“I see.” Elain fidgeted with her green fingers, the mucus leeching from her pores making her hands feel extra sweaty. “I-I have something to say,” she forced out, the jitters making her voice shaky.

Lucien looked at her with a piercing interest. 

“Remember when I fainted?” Lucien nodded. “It wasn’t because I didn’t have enough to eat. I had a vision. Of what happened today. With you and the shadows. I saw what happened, before it happened. Do you get what I mean?” Talking about what happened was wading into foreign territory; Elain finished each phrase with an upturn that sounded like she was asking a question.

“A vision,” Lucien murmured thoughtfully. 

“It was my first time, too. I don’t have any powers. Well..I thought I didn’t, until today.” 

“Experiencing premonitions is a skill characteristic of Seers. You haven’t had any other visions?” Lucien’s tone was curious, with a hint of concern. Elain shook her head. “Interesting.”

“Do Seers manifest their powers later on in life?” Elain asked. 

“No, they follow the same path of maturation as all other Fae with powers.” Lucien scratched one of the olive ridges at the top of his head. “I suppose it is unusual for us to discover new powers like this, though.”

“Maybe being turned into frogs activated something?” Elain suggested. But Lucien didn’t look convinced. 

“A transformation curse doesn’t typically do that,” Lucien explained. “It changes victims physically, but everything else remains the same. There must be some deeper reason…I’ll have to think about it.”

Although it was obvious Lucien’s royal education would provide him a vast depth of knowledge about magic, the prince’s demeanor had morphed into that of a pondering scholar. It was a stark contrast to his joking, frivolous attitude from before. Elain snuck a glance at him, blinking as she saw Lucien in a different light. Who knew princes could be complex?

Splish, splish. A smattering of droplets plinking down onto Elain’s bare head heralded the distant boom of thunder. Rain began to fall as silver-white lightning slashed across the night sky. Abandoning his dinner, Lucien hopped towards a hosta sapling for shelter. Elain looked around but unfortunately, the only plant that provided leaves broad enough for coverage was the tiny hosta plant.

“Ah, princess,” Lucien greeted jovially, putting their somber conversation in the past when she peeked under. “Go find your own leaf.” The prince smirked widely and lowered his voice. “Unless, you care to join me here.”

The thunder boomed even louder, its vibrations making Elain’s bones rattle. The rain increased into a torrential downpour. She might be soaking wet already, but she wasn’t keen on spending the night in a puddle. Elain gritted her teeth, putting her pride aside as she asked, “may I join you?” Lucien smiled broadly at her question.

“Why, I thought you would never ask.” The prince scooched over just a smidge, leaving a little patch of dry dirt for Elain. She balked slightly, realizing how close they would be, before joining him. Both frogs tucked themselves in on all fours, and Elain wiggled an indentation in the soil to rest her weary little body.

It had been several months since she’d lain next to a male. It doesn’t count, Elain told herself as she pressed against Lucien’s firm body. He was like a solid wall, shielding her from the outside world. She felt…safe. And a bit girlishly giddy at the thought of being next to a prince. He may be a prince, but he’s also a frog. I’m not attracted to frogs.

“Good night, Elain.” She thought Lucien had gone to sleep, for his eyes had closed.

“Night, Lucien,” Elain murmured, her voice soft as she drifted off.

[cryoculus]

— reparations 03 ⟢

knocking on heaven’s (read: my employer’s) door

★ FEATURING; arataki itto x gn!reader

★ WORD COUNT; 5.9k words

★ TAGS; modern au, flower shop au, slow burn, idiots to lovers, tooth-rotting fluff, mutual pining, no smut, sfw

★ NOTABLE CHARACTERS; arataki itto, thoma

★ WARNINGS; mild injuries

★ HEADER ART CR; aoirooto on zerochan

★ MASTERLIST . AO3 ★

“Your pressure is way too strong!”

“Whaaat? They’re plants. I’m sure they can take a beating.”

“Arataki, you’re going to destroy the leaves!”

“I won’t, calm down~”

You’re more than aware of how your early morning banter is attracting the attention of the passers-by on Sakura Street. Those gazes flashed in yours and Arataki’s way are quick to avert when they realize who it is they’re staring at. You don’t really blame them. After all, if it were you, you wouldn’t want anything to do with a gang leader murdering exotic plants with a garden house out in the open.

“Give me that,” you hiss, snatching the spray nozzle from his hands before adjusting the water pressure. Once you press the handle, a calm sprinkle of water douses the plants displayed outside your shop—a far-cry from the setting Arataki had it on earlier. 

“That’s how you water them.” Huffing, you press the object back into his not very capable hands. “Didn’t you tell me ‘taking care of plants is the same as taking care of pets’ the other day? Would you blast your pets with water like that, too?” 

He squeezes the handle a few times, trickling water all over the sidewalk before giving you a straightforward answer. “Why not? It’s fun.”

Oh, dear archons.

It’s been a few days since the problem child that came in the form of one Arataki Itto was assigned to your care. Honestly, it feels more of a punishment than a means to make up for last week’s crashing incident, but Shinobu was so intent on having her boss help around that you just couldn’t kick Arataki out. No matter how much his airheaded tendencies got in the way of getting actual work done, no matter how much he grates on your nerves in general, you steeled yourself through it all because the property they offered was the reason you can live independently today. 

“Now this is an interesting mix.”

You jump a little at the sound of Kazuha’s voice. He’s already switching off the engine to his motorcycle when you notice it parked by the curb. Those red-amber eyes are alight with curiosity as Kazuha’s gaze darts between the two of you.

“Wait a sec…” Arataki crosses his arms, narrowing his eyes at your poor delivery boy. “Aren’t you the scrub that Shinobu always hires to deliver back all the loot we scored? You’re the same guy, aren’t ya?” 

“The loot you what?” you repeat.

Kazuha manages a soft laugh before procuring his cell phone from his pocket. “Even if the Arataki Gang has more official business with regards to Hanamizaka’s territory nowadays, Arataki-san over here can still maintain a bit of a…mischievous streak, if you may.”

“...I’m not sure what you mean by that, but—”

“Oh, I just helped some of the kids under my wing win those beetle fights I told you about,” Arataki nonchalantly supplies before resuming to water your plants. “Everyone knows that the loser has to surrender all the snacks and trading cards he has to those who come out on top.”

Your jaw drops at his admission. Did… Did he just admit to stealing other kids’ snacks and toys for the sake of his own? 

“And it happens often enough that Shinobu-san has become one of my regulars as well,” Kazuha sighs before showing you the electronic receipt to your most recent transaction. “This one’s addressed to…Ritou Harbor. Quite far.” 

“Right?” you groan before gesturing for Kazuha to follow you inside the shop. “They just ordered a box of aralia seeds, but I still have a free delivery promo going on. Which means I gotta fork over the sky high delivery rates from here to Ritou. Ugh, don’t they have a local flower shop there?”

Kazuha shakes his head. “If you ask me, I think it’s good that your shop’s gaining traction around Narukami Island. More business ventures make for more profit.”

“I guess you’re right,” you sigh, hefting a sealed box of seeds into Kazuha’s arms. “I can’t believe it’s only been a month since I opened up shop.” 

“I’m sure the store will continue to flourish from here on out,” he comments with a smile, tapping on some prompts on the delivery app. “And with the extra help you have now, it’ll be an easier feat as well.”

Your eyes instinctively drift over to the window, where you can spot Arataki rounding up the hose outside in loose coils that he has no trouble carrying on one arm. Though you’re loath to admit it, you sigh at your delivery boy’s observation—trying to force down the smile that threatens to erupt on your face.

“He’s only here for the meantime, though…” 

Once you’ve sent Kazuha off, you spot Arataki picking a caterpillar from the leaves of your freshly repotted dracaenas. You could’ve sworn you heard him telling it off for wandering where it shouldn’t before turning to you.

“Oi, didn’t you say these guys are gonna eat up your plants?” he wonders aloud, watching as the tiny caterpillar coils around his finger. “Where should I put him then?”

Well, at least he’s actually retaining all the stuff you told him on his first day. You sigh, folding your arms across your chest. “Just kill it with salt in the back.” 

Arataki gasps, like you just uttered something offensive. “Are you that heartless, master? These guys can turn into beautiful butterflies if they live long enough! Why’re you gonna have ‘em killed?”

“Because they put holes in my leaves?” you deadpan. 

“Unacceptable!” he shouts before marching into the shop. 

When you follow Arataki inside, you find him rummaging through one of the cabinets where you kept some empty jars for sale. Your apprentice grabs one from inside, and places it on top of your work table. He does all this with his index finger still outstretched, and while you observe his maneuvering from the side, you can’t help the peal of amusement that bubbles in your chest. You knew that this guy has a total soft spot for all insect-life, but to actually see his compassion in action is a whole different story. 

Is he even a gang leader at all?

“There you go. Nice and comfy,” Arataki says once he uncaps the jar, letting the caterpillar down on the base of the glass container. “Now let’s get you some food…”

That makes you perk up. “Wh— You’re not going to pluck leaves off my plants, are you?” 

The culpable look on his face tells you everything you need to know.

“Ugh. Fine, give me a sec.”

And that’s how you end up handing Arataki a bunch of dried leaves you intended to dispose of earlier. You were used to crushing them to mix in with some fertilizer, but your stock for that is already overflowing as is, so you didn’t really have a need to keep the leaves. But watching Arataki feed them to a little caterpillar—red eyes glimmering with awe—puts you strangely at ease. 

Sometime later, Shinobu pushes past the front door of the shop—looking all sorts of haggard, like she usually does nowadays. 

“Sorry I couldn’t drop by earlier,” she sighs. “How’s the boss holding up?”

“Shinobu!” Arataki beams from the seat he pulled closer to the window earlier, gesturing towards the jar sitting on the windowpane. “We got a new friend!”

The deputy stares at Arataki, then the caterpillar, then you. 

“Don’t worry,” you reassure her. “He didn’t set anything on fire trying to get it into the jar.”

“You say that like I set stuff on fire by default,” Arataki quips.

Ignoring her boss’ sidetracking, Shinobu grabs your hands in hers, squeezing almost tenderly. You’re a bit surprised by the gesture, gaze flickering towards Arataki to see if he’s catching any of this. But apparently, your trainee is too busy ogling his new friend. 

“Thank you,” Shinobu sighs, closing her eyes as she rests her forehead against your intertwined hands. “You don’t know how much this means to the gang.”

Blinking, you say, “Shinobu? Are you okay…?”

The deputy steps back, peeling her hands away with a deep breath. “Yes, yes. I’m just…a little tired. I’m really sorry for making you sort-of take care of him in my stead.”

“So you’re completely aware that you just gave me a babysitting job?”

Shinobu flashes you a conniving grin. “How about I give you forty percent off this month’s rent as further compensation?”

“...Oh, don’t mind me! I babysit gang bosses all year round!”

“Shinobu,” Arataki drawls from the window, marching over to where the two of you stood. “I won’t be home tonight, by the way. You can tell the boys to go ahead without me.”

“Wait, aren’t we headed to HQ together?” Shinobu wonders, voice turning serious by the second. “Boss, don’t tell me you’re going back there again. You already heard what Haru has to say about it. And what happened to you the last time you tried to cross them!”

Haru… That’s the man who was in charge of fixing your shop. Could he be one of Arataki and Shinobu’s trusted associates? He did seem like the responsible-yet-slightly-rebellious type to you. But even if you’re more intrigued about what Shinobu is talking about in the latter part of her spiel, you knew better than to pry.

Arataki laughs, ruffling Shinobu’s hair with a large hand. “Don’t worry about it! Arataki ‘The Sound Negotiator’ Itto has it all under control. If they look for me, just tell the boys I’m trying to score an out-of-print trading card like usual.”

“You know that only works on the younger ones, right?” Shinobu sighs, but despite her initial reluctance, there’s a hint of resignation in her words; like she knows she can’t stop Arataki once he’s set his mind on something. “Fine. Call me when you get back to your flat or else I’m going to assume you’re dead in a ditch.”

“That’s harsh.” He pouts before turning to you. “You won’t treat me as badly as Shinobu does, will you, master?”

You flash him a pointed look. “If you try to overwater my plants again, I’ll gladly plan your funeral myself.”

“You’re all cruel, you know that?!”

“Hey! It’s been a…while?”

The cheery tone that Thoma usually chirps up inside your shop falls short with a pause. He spots a not-so stranger behind the counter, reclining comfortably on a swiveling seat that’s a bit too small for someone of his stature. 

When Arataki notices Thoma’s intent stare, he blinks up from a strange jar he’s observing on the wooden surface. “Hm? There anything you want? I’m kinda busy here.”

Several questions shoot through Thoma’s head all at once: one: What the hell is this gang leader, the same guy who roughed him up a few years back, doing here; two: Why is he wearing a floral-patterned apron and; three:

“Where is the owner?” He tries to sound as civil as he can, the memories from his last altercation with Arataki—regardless of how much time has passed since—still fresh in his mind. Thoma knows that his gang isn’t as bad as the rumors paint them out to be, but it costs nothing to be a bit more cautious. 

Especially if a big hulking man like Arataki Itto suddenly appeared in your shop.

“Oh? You mean my master?” the gang boss perks up. “They’re doin’ a personal delivery to the hospital. I said I wanted to tag along, but they said I might just give the customer a heart attack! Like, what, will they pass out because of how awesome I look in this apron?”

A soft meow startles Thoma out of his initial disbelief. There, he spots Mikan pop her head out from underneath the counter, hopping onto Arataki’s lap as she scratches her claws against the aforementioned apron. This terrifies the blond to a certain extent because even if Mikan is the cuddliest cat he’s ever known, surely she wouldn’t extend her affections so easily to—

“Arataki, you haven’t been scaring my customers away, have you?” 

Thoma jolts, once again, at the sound of your voice timed with the chime of the front door’s bells. You’re in the middle of unclipping your bike helmet when you spot him gaping at you by the freshly stocked shelves. 

“Thoma? What’s up?” You smile, jabbing a thumb behind your shoulder. “Sorry. I had this guy watch over the shop while I was gone. Are you buying anything?”

“Nah, I was just in the area. Thought you’d wanna have lunch or something,” he coughs awkwardly into a fist, green gaze darting between you and the oblivious Arataki playing with Mikan behind the counter. “Was he just passing by or…?”

You shake your head. “He’s part-timing. Sort of.” 

“Hanamizaka Flower Studio at your service!” Arataki chimes from his seat.

“Shut up,” you grumble, and at the same time, you finally notice the way Thoma’s face has been slowly but surely contorting with confusion. “It’s— It’s a long story. I’ll fill you in when I can, yeah?”

Thoma nods slowly. “I’m guessing that lunch is a no, then?”

“I gotta update the inventory. You know how meticulous I am when it comes to that stuff, right?” you sigh, flashing him an apologetic smile. “Tell Ayaka I said hi! Oh, wait, isn’t it her day-off today? You should take her to lunch instead, idiot.”

There’s a momentary pause in the conversation—an almost awkward tension that hangs in the air. He can even feel Arataki’s gaze snap in his direction the moment the silence hits. But it’s gone just as swiftly as it came when Thoma snaps his fingers with a bright smile. 

“You think she’ll agree to it?” He pouts. “I helped Ayaka go through some of her students’ papers last night and I didn’t want to bother her on her day-off. That’s why I thought I’d bother you instead.”

You roll your eyes. “Yes. As far as I know, she hasn’t said no to you, like, ever. Now go on, lover boy. If you want to bring her some flowers, I’ll even toss in a discount.”

“Will you ever toss me a discount, master?” Arataki asks. 

“No.”

“Aw, c’mon! Where are the employee benefits?”

“Ah, it’s alright,” Thoma interjects with a soft laugh, shoving his hands into the pocket of his hoodie. “If I give her any more flowers, she might give me an earful.”

You sigh, tucking your helmet beneath your elbow. “You do have a point. Receiving flowers won’t be as special if you get them all the time.”

“Oh? I beg to differ,” Arataki hollers, lifting Mikan by her waist as he spins around on the swiveling chair. “I think it’s pretty neat to give gifts to someone you like, no matter how often. If they like ‘em, that shouldn’t be an issue, right? I say you go big or go home.”

“...Yeah, I was just about to go home,” Thoma laughs uneasily before nodding your way. “Glad to see you have some extra help now. I’ll let Ayaka know you’ve been holding up fine.”

“Drop by whenever you feel like it,” you tell him with a smile.

The moment the door closes behind Thoma, however, you feel an intense gaze from Arataki that’s silently telling you he has something he wants to say. Irritably, you glance over your shoulder with a questioning look. He’s stopped spinning around on your chair, thankfully, and is stroking Mikan’s fur from where your cat lounges lazily on his lap. But despite the relatively calm disposition he’s in, it seems that Arataki still has it in him to drop a few bombs today.

“That guy totally has a thing for you.”

You nearly choke on your own breath. “W-What?”

Arataki shrugs, bringing out a comb from his pocket as he unceremoniously grooms himself in front of you. “I know ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to a lot of things. I admit that. But I’ve never been wrong about these gut feelings of mine.”

“And what exactly is your gut telling you now?”

He hums for a moment, propping the tip of his comb on his chin in contemplation. “It says that guy has the hots for you and he’s just, like, totally chicken to admit it.”

“Oh contraire,” you challenged with a laugh, setting down your helmet by the counter. “I’ve known Thoma since I was a college freshman. He’s in love with the woman I told him to grab dinner with! Has been for six years now. Where’d you even get the idea that he likes me, of all people?”

“Like I said, gut feeling!” he repeats, rubbing languid circles across his abdomen. Now that you think about it, the apron you gave is making good work of concealing his normally exposed abs. Wait, why are you even thinking about Arataki’s abs right now? “It’s not like I’m gonna force you to believe me, though. But I just want ya to know that gut feelings? Never wrong. Especially if it’s my gut doing all the talking.”

Can this guy be any more narcissistic? 

For the rest of the afternoon, though, even if you’re both preoccupied with the day’s orders, you can’t get Arataki’s weird presumptions out of your head. What did he mean Thoma has the hots for you? That guy? The same one that’s been head-over-heels for Ayaka for as long as you could remember? Well…you did find it a bit suspicious how he managed to keep his so-called feelings to himself for almost six years. You thought that Thoma was just that stubborn and afraid of rejection but…

“Yo, I’m timing out. That alright with you, master?”

Arataki promptly rouses you out of your musing a few minutes before closing time, already hanging the apron on the hook you stuck on one of the shelves. His chest is on full display again, and you sigh—feeling your face heat up under the expectation behind his crimson-eyed gaze. Dammit! It’s not your first time seeing a man’s chest, more so Arataki’s chest, is it? What’s gotten you so flustered today?

“When will you ever stop calling me that?” you ask instead, more to divert his attention than anything else. 

“When you stop being my master, of course,” Arataki replies like it’s the most obvious thing in the world before heading over to the counter—checking out the caterpillar that’s sound asleep on a pile of leaves. “Do you know when he’s going to do, uh… the thing?”

You make a face. “What thing?”

“You know, when they coop up in a little body bag and hang themselves upside down? Like a mummy on Halloween.” 

“...Are you talking about metamorphosis?”

“That one! Whatever that is.”

You stifle a laugh behind your hand, making Arataki pout at you somewhat petulantly. “Sorry, sorry,” you snort. “Well, it usually takes butterfly larvae to form a chrysalis about two and a half weeks after hatching. It might take a while for your friend to do that, though. It’ll need lots of nutrition and adequate sunlight.”

Arataki nods. “Yeah, you lost me at Christmas list.”

“It's chrysalis.”

“Anyways, you sure you’re alright with looking after the guy?” he asks, leaning down to poke the side of the glass. “You did say caterpillars are pretty low maintenance.”

“If I let you take it to your office, it might not last a day,” you sigh. 

“Damn, you’re right. Hm… How about we name him?” 

You scowl at him almost too quickly. “You’re naming your pet caterpillar?”

“...Itto the Fourth! That’s his name.”

“What happened to Itto the Second and Itto the Third?” 

Arataki hollers at that. “You don’t want to know. They were the toughest onikabutos I’ve hunted in my life, thus the namesake, but alas, all great warriors fall in battle someday. But this little guy’s gonna get special treatment, since he has two parents taking care of him!”

“I don’t remember agreeing to any of that…”

“Oh, um by the way…” He suddenly takes on a meeker tone, scratching the back of his head as he rises back to his full height. This damn guy isn’t even giving you leeway to contest his outlandish decisions! And is it just you or is he way too quick to transition from idiot apprentice to serious gang leader these days?

“I might not come in tomorrow. And the day after that. Maybe the day after that, too. Could you watch over Itto the Fourth for me?” 

You contemplate his words for a moment, a bite of foreboding suddenly settling in the pit of your stomach. But then again, Arataki has made it this far in his life without fatally injuring himself or dying, right?

“Uh, sure. Just text me when you’re going back.”

His mouth hangs slightly agape, and you can see the pointed edges of his canines. “...Really? You’re just letting me off that easily?”

“I’m not a tyrant of an employer, you know?” you sigh, crossing your arms. “But…”

“But?”

You hesitate for a moment, remembering the conversation he and Shinobu had in front of you sometime ago. From what you could glean from their words, it seems that the Arataki gang’s boss is dealing with something big on the sidelines. Big enough to make even Shinobu worry about his well-being. You don’t really know much about the gang aside from the fact that they keep things in order around Hanamizaka (and take snacks and toys from kids, if Arataki can’t help it), so you can’t really guess what’s going on. But you can’t really bear the idea of Shinobu being put under more duress than she already is.

And you’ve seen, firsthand, how careless Arataki can be about his own safety. How he nearly bled out on the floor of this very same room. Even if he crashed his bike into your shop that time, your first instinct was to make sure he was alright. It’s no different now, when he’s seemingly toeing around something dangerous yet unspeakable.

“Take care out there, yeah?” you say. “Don’t give us any more reasons to look out for you, you big, lumbering moron.”

You expect him to balk at the insult in his typical, Arataki Itto fashion, but what you get instead is a reaction you’d never expect to see on his face. His broad shoulders seem to relax at your words, and the ghost of a smile settles across his lips—making a familiar feeling stir in your chest all over again.

“Kinda feels nice knowing lots’a people are looking out for me,” Arataki admits, the high of his cheeks tinged red. “But you all don’t have to worry on my behalf, honest! I’m a pretty tough guy, you know? These fists pack one hell of a punch!”  

“Yeah, yeah. You can stop flattering yourself now,” you scoff. “Go on. Won’t you be late to this prior commitment of yours?”

“I’m going, I’m going!” he laughs. “Bye, master! Bye, Mikan!”

You jolt when you feel your tabby rubbing her soft body against your leg, mewling as if to return Arataki’s farewell. As your apprentice makes his way out of the shop, you pick Mikan off the floor and into your arms. But for some reason, you stay rooted in place until Arataki’s figure eventually disappears into the evening crowd. 

Things have quieted a bit since Arataki’s impromptu leave.

You don’t really spend a lot of time thinking about it, but when the thought occurs, you’re reminded of the fact that it feels a little lonely without his usual racket. Even the customers who’ve just started getting used to his domineering presence are curious of his whereabouts. 

“It’s not everyday you see little Arataki wearing an adorable apron,” Amane comments with a smile when she places another order for her late husband’s bouquet. “But in the end, he’s still a gang leader, huh? I hope he isn’t stirring up trouble wherever he is.”

“‘Arataki’ and ‘trouble’ are more synonymous than you think, Amane-san,” you laugh, manually writing up a receipt for her. The damn register is busted today. “But I’m sure he’ll be fine. He just needs a few days off.”

She nods along. “I’ll be needing a few days off too, after you’ve trained me down to the bone! Who would’ve known a cute florist like you can tame someone like him?”

“Uh…” Shinobu’s face flits to the forefront of your mind. “Let’s just say I’ve had some inspiration.”

After working on Amane’s usual arrangement, you accommodated a couple more orders you’ve gotten from a couple of reservation calls. Business today is slower than usual, so you didn’t necessarily have to work your ass off arranging all sorts of bouquets. But once you’ve temporarily closed the store for a quick lunch break, you find yourself basking in the ear-splitting silence of the empty flower shop. 

It’s only been two days, but the lonesome you’ve grown comfortable with before meeting Arataki suddenly feels all sorts of foreign. He’s only started working here for no more than two weeks. Why do you suddenly feel so…alienated in your own store?

Shinobu still comes by when she’s free, albeit not having you decorate the usual vase she used to bring along a few weeks ago. She didn’t need to buy any flowers, since her boss spends a chunk of his time working here anyways. Even if you told him he only needs to work at least four hours a day, the stubborn gang leader always insists on doing full shifts. You were a little concerned how his presence here might affect the Arataki Gang, but it seems that he’s already taking care of that right now.

You take a moment to observe the jar that’s been hanging around the counter for the past two days. Yesterday, you took the liberty to place a small, slightly sturdy twig you found at the park in case Itto the Fourth felt like knitting his own ‘little body bag’, as your apprentice so-delicately called it.

When you came down to check on him earlier this morning, you were surprised to see a silk white chrysalis hanging from one of the higher points of the branch. It’s been a while since you’ve seen a metamorphosing butterfly up close, so you’re nothing short of amazed. 

It kind of sucks that Arataki isn’t here to see it, though.

“Mrow.”

Mikan glances up at you curiously from her perch on one of the high shelves, seemingly attuned to the unusual mood you’re in. You sigh, pressing your knees to your chest as you lean further into the swiveling seat. Gods, if you breathe deep enough, you can still catch a whiff of that atrocious body spray that Arataki practically bathes in everyday sticking to the upholstery.

“Mrow…”

“What?” you ask exasperatedly, glancing at Mikan as her tail swishes behind her. “It’s not like I’m worried about him or anything.”

She doesn’t make another sound after that, but you can almost hear her say: Yeah, right. Stupid cats, and their stupid, superior emotional perception… 

All these intrusive thoughts, however, are interrupted by the sound of your phone buzzing. You fish it from the pocket in front of your apron, only to come face-to-face with a message from Thoma.

Thoma [12:45]: Heyy, Ayaka’s asking if you wanna have dinner with us later

Thoma [12:46]: Me, her, and Ayatoヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ • *✰

Me [12:47]: Huhhh Ayato is back ?

Thoma [12:50]: Yeah! His business trip took ages but he's back 

Thoma [12:51]: He already reserved a table at Komore Teahouse & everything (╥﹏╥)

Thoma [12:51]: Wanna come with?

Had your conversation happened a week ago, you would’ve accepted in a heartbeat. Thoma and Ayaka have been your constants during college, but Ayato played a huge part in making all your road trips and out-of-town excursions possible. He may be diligent with his work, but he isn’t above spoiling his little sister and her friends every now and again. 

But when you remember what Arataki said about Thoma and that baseless gut feeling of his…

You shake your head. You’re the one who’s known Thoma for half a decade, not him. As if you’re going to let the assumptions of a pesky gang leader change the way you see one of your best friends!

Me [12:55]: Sure, what time are we meeting up?

You’re not usually one to doll up for a dinner date with your friends. Jeans and an old university pullover usually did the trick. But you tell yourself that it’s because Ayato’s going to be in attendance as well that you’re pitching in some effort into tonight’s fit. Definitely not because you have a weird compulsion to look good in front of Thoma after Arataki’s weird tip.

And…besides!! You’ve been wanting to use the blouse and skirt you thrifted a few weeks ago, but just haven’t had the time nor the occasion to use it. It’d be such a waste to let them gather cobwebs in your closet when you’re given a sound opportunity, right?

Mikan looks oddly supportive of your ‘dolling-up’ escapade, too. As you concentrate on making sure the wings of your eyeliner are even on both sides, she sits quietly on top of your vanity. You like to think that she might’ve been cheering you on in the silence.

“How’s it look?” you ask, grinning at yourself in the mirror. Oh, the lipstick shade you picked is absolutely stunning, too. “Man, I should really do this more often, huh?”

“Meow~”

After a few final touches to both your hair and makeup, you’re pretty much good to go. But when you check the time on your phone, you realize that you don’t have to show up at the teahouse for at least one more hour. Sighing, you plop yourself back on top of your mattress to send a quick text to Thoma. 

Well, that was the plan until you hear the distant sound of hurried knocking beyond your bedroom.

This makes you frown a little. You closed up shop earlier than usual because of the plans you made with Thoma and the Kamisato siblings. And you usually never get calls and orders beyond working hours anyways. 

Mikan is already one step ahead of you as she hops down the spiral staircase leading to the shop. You carefully maneuver each step, not wanting to ruin your nice outfit by accidentally falling off the stairs. But when you make it to the ground floor, you’re struck by an odd sense of déjà vu. Like this particular scenario already played out the very same way before.

When you undo all the locks to the shop’s front entrance, you realize why that’s the case.

“Hey,” Arataki greets casually, hands shoved into his pockets as he grins. Oddly enough, he isn’t wearing his usual, traditional get-up. Instead, the gang boss is donned with a dark black coat that’s buttoned up all the way. “You’re lookin’ pretty good, master. Got a date with destiny or something?”

You blink, nonplussed by his sudden presence after two days of radio silence. He hasn’t even sent you a single text, and he just suddenly shows up at your doorstep like this? 

“You can say that.” A pause. “What are you doing here, Arataki?”

He steps into the shop with muddy boots. You have half the mind to tell him off for tracking dirt when you just finished mopping the floor. But the words promptly die on your tongue when Arataki leans down to rest his head on your shoulder. 

“...Arataki?”

The gang boss breathes out a shaky laugh, his breath fanning across the bare skin of neck. You can feel patches of gooseflesh prickle across your shoulders from the sensation—rendering you completely stock still. 

“Say, we’ve been working pretty tight these past two weeks, huh?”

You feel your own breath hitch as each steady vibration of his voice reverberates onto your skin. “What are you—”

“But you haven’t even called me by my first name at all,” Arataki sighs before slumping further into your grasp. As big as a guy he is, he can easily topple the both of you over if you aren’t careful, so you reflexively let your hands coil around his massive torso, forcing him to stand upright. What the hell is wrong with him? Is he drunk or—

Suddenly, you feel a warm, damp patch against your fingers. That same sense of foreboding that struck you the moment Arataki asked for a quick leave strikes you down once again—amplified about a hundred times over. 

“Hey, master. Can you do a few things for me?” 

Your heart is beating erratically in your chest, and you’re hyper aware of the brisk manner in which he draws each breath. “What?”

Arataki laughs, one arm snaking around your waist as his free hand cards through your hair. “The first is, don’t take me to the hospital. Second, don’t contact Shinobu or any of my boys.”

“But you’re hurt—”

“And the third is…” He trails off for a moment, and you feel the pressure of his weight ease a little when he rises to look at your face. Arataki’s blood red eyes are glazed over in that same, injured delirium they were the first time you met him—staring at you like you’re the most precious thing in the world.

(Distantly, you wonder if he can ever look at you like that when he isn’t all fucked up like this.)

“I want you to start callin’ me by my first name. I’m your…apprentice after all.”

You let out a frustrated groan as you grab both of his shoulders, forcing him to meet your gaze. “Arataki, I don’t know what the hell you’ve been doing out there, but I need to take you to the—”

“Say it.”

“Stop being so difficult! Why are you bleeding? Did someone stab you or—”

“Say it,” he repeats, grabbing your chin as he rests his forehead against yours. This close, you can make out the intricate red lines that run down his face, like blood red teardrops leaving a crimson trail in their wake. Even the curve of his mouth is open to your perusal, making you gulp as you shove down the urge to ogle him in spite of his condition.

You know you shouldn’t prolong the time he isn’t receiving any first aid. You also know that you should’ve broken free from his grasp and dialed Shinobu’s number stat. 

And yet…

“Itto,” you murmur, feeling your own tongue tingle at the syllables of his name. “Please let me treat you. You’re hurt.”

Arataki keeps his silence for about three, stuttering heartbeats before he collapses back into your arms. You yelp, forcing all of your body weight against his to keep yourself from falling to the floor. He sighs so deeply, like he’s the one being terribly inconvenienced, that it makes you want to punch him in the face.

But when he cages you within the warmth of those strong arms, you can find it in you to complain.

“...S’good enough for me.”

Me [20:14]: Hey, Thoma? I’m sorry something came up. I can’t make it tonight.

Me [20:15]: I’ll make it up to all of you soon, I promise!!

Me [20:15]: Btw, you STILL owe me for the last bouquet you gave Ayaka. Don’t think I forgot.

Me [20:20]: Uh, anyways I gotta go. Tell the siblings I missed them lots, okay? Have fun!

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© cryoculus | kaientai ✧ all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my work on other platforms without permission.

[enconfess]

If im honest really (as a fan of enstars since EN first release and have caught up with a few JP events except for like the super recent ones), I found most of the event stories and main story stuff uninteresting or just overall a headache to go through. Most of the time (through both official and fan translated) they would get me shaking my head asking "what the heck is going on??",or the story drags around that it feels both frustrating and just too boring for my brain to be able focus even, and just as I thought its gotta get better they will usually have some lame conclusion monologue going on that either my monkey brain is unintellectual to understand what's going or maybe its the writers are like that idk Im happy to see the pretty cgs though.

I would very much rather have someone summarize the stories to me even if it sacrifice for inaccuracies and biases. Ok here's an example, Antique Legends? The only thing I remember from the story is the fun interactions within Hokuto and his dad, which may be due to my bias with Hokuto but really that was the only truly entertaining part to me.

Speaking of characters I really don't care about character depth at all all I wanna see is them being cute in those little idol stories cause idol stories (yes I mean those short stories that are mostly like one - two chapter long) and scout stories are really what I look forward to the most personally cause they aren't over the top complicated or draggy like event stories and main stories, its not to say they are boring no in fact they are way more entertaining cause they make things that may seem so simple and mundane to something fun and also I love seeing them in wacky events too.

Also yes I did mention being a HokutoP though I would say I'm more of an overall drama clubP with other characters I like such as Aira and Naruchan (love calling her that personally) (and also I love every character in their many uniqueness and to be fair its just the bias demons that posses me). Now what do these guys have to do with this post? well to bring point that I know absolutely nothing about their 'complex sides' other than that they are sweet angels to me and I love seeing them in cute and funny situations, and guess what I still appreciate seeing them and hell I own a Wataru nui (planning to get a hokke one too soon) because even though yaydadad the whole war thing and his 'masks' I personally find him super fun even if I'm aware that he may just be putting on an act (plus I also have a mini white party dress for him that I make him wear whenever I went to anything fancy like my when I went to see my cousin perform on a orchestra concert).

To bring my final point I personally think that enstars best strength or interest for me is the idol / scout stories because even with their cookie cutter like surface layer personalities they manage to even be more memorable and overall fun to read. Oh and stories aside I adore most of the cards although they get bland sometimes and most of the songs are pretty good in my opinion love trickster songs muah. Anyhow thats just how I feel like enjoying the game and to be fair I prefer to enjoy it alone rather than to have a mutual around cause ye I'm that those type people who enjoy being alone and find a lot of people to be a waste of a space personally, well I have a lot in my mind currently as per usual but they most aren't enstars related so for now imma really stop myself here right now though I may come back here for more confessions idk depends on me I guess (I will also be surprised if you read through this entire thing and if you do thank you and may God bless you my good friend).

.

[tkblythofficial]

tarot red here. question asked, R and T future connection.

i’ll be real honest with all of you like always. i think R and T will mature (individually or their connection will) a lot in the next years, i see them being stronger and being quite confident in their careers. i feel that in R’s case she will become stronger and hate, bad comments and all that stuff won’t affect her anymore. since this is a future energy and i didn’t ask exactly a time frame, but i see mostly in 5-8 years. i think both of them will be doing very well in their career at least or at least their connection will do well. i see them close and i see a lot of affection here. i can see them working together again or at least wanting to in the future. i got two oracle cards saying fertility which this can mean that they can have kids a certain point, but hear me out, not together (lol). i see them booked and busy. i think R will be very creative, maybe writing will be something she will do in her free time or writing music, but i see her creating a lot even when she’s not on stage or acting. i even see R learning new stuff and maybe trying new things in her career. i gotta be real i see friendship here, nothing more. i see public appearances together, being kinda public and maybe posting about reunions. i think sometimes they will feel like family and with mercury here i see it strongly. love and support will always exist here it doesn’t matter what happens they will be there for each other and will be seeing news about the other and happy for the other. i can see maybe disconnection here. like sometimes they will be really close and other times they will be distant. it feels like that type of friendship where they will stop talking to each other but when they see together it will feel like they just saw each other yesterday, like no hard feelings. understanding the other is busy, doing other things. like they will always find each other. i heard some lyrics of a song, i think just these lyrics are important for this reading: we want two, two different different avenues, pretty far apart but we can meet where they start. so i think it doesn’t matter what happens the connection will be there and they will cherish each other, they will talk about each other every highly and remember each other with a lot of love. communication flows easily, but they will have a lot of things going on in their lives. also i see physical distance so i don’t think they will live in the same place. i see a lot of movement here (more for R for some reason since her future spouse readings talk about this person living in other place she might move there?). i see him being kinda worried about his career and maybe love life, his love life won’t be easy as how i see it and perhaps he will want to try some stuff in his career and this won’t be possible for him or will be really hard to reach. i think R in the future will go through a really bad break up or really bad event in her life that will push her to a forced change in her life, during this time she will meet her soulmate or spouse. i see an opportunity of them working together or at least having the opportunity to, but will take a lot of time. i see offers and even maybe plans but this can be delayed because of schedules, management not wanting them to work together again, i se even false hopes. i think one of them will have a better career or life compared to the other and this can create conflict or a sense of jealousy, like the other watching and expecting to have the same experiences or opportunities.

this is what i see. take everything with a grain of salt. energy changes quite a lot <3

Tarot Red right on time as usual. I’m very interested to see how the next year or so plays out for everyone involved. I do see some of this being accurate and that’s a little sad.

[wingodex]

okay so in season 2 of good omens they bring up this book called the expert at the card table and i've posted about this book before because i am extremely not normal about it for a bunch of reasons i cannot hope to articulate here (if you wanna read it. for whatever reason. houdini donated a copy to the library of congress and so it's just freely available online for everyone). but like the person who wrote it was almost certainly a professional card cheater so obviously they didn't publish using their actual name. so there's this big mystery around it and there's a bunch of theories about who the author actually was including the possibility that it's e.s. andrews, aka s.w. erdnase backwards. and in the show, aziraphale says that his copy is signed by erdnase using his real name, and it's one of those things where like. i did lose my mind a little bit when this whole scene happened because it was literally written as a fun little reference for me, or at least people who have the exact same specific crossection of interests that i do so that's fun. HOWEVER i was a little pissed about the whole thing also because the mystery of who erdnase is sooooo central to the experience of the book itself. like the author's concealed identity is not a hidden fact, the author literally tells you he's lying to you, and it's so everything to me. and it has me thinking about the Real Book which is this collection of jazz sheet music that was compiled by a couple of students when they were in school and then illegally distributed for years among jazz musicians that it became a fundamental tool of jazz musicians all over the US. like to the point where if you were studying jazz in college or whatever you were instructed to go find some guy selling photocopies of the Real Book because you would need it for lessons. and the two students who compiled it remain anonymous to this day and it's very intentional. a reporter managed to get in touch with one of them a few years ago through encrypted emails and shit like that and the guy literally said that he would never reveal his identity because that's part of the Real Book's allure. like the mystery itself is part of the fun. and the expert at the card table is very much like that for me. the mystery is so much a part of the book that the idea of that mystery ever actually being solved is so unappealing. you gotta understand that when this book was first published, it fucking blew up the gambling world. nobody had ever published something so bold as instructions for literal actual card cheating techniques before. it's so iconic in the exact same way that the Real Book is, in their audacity and innovation. and in their mystery!! that's part of the fun

[ezool]

hm im not too well-versed in the literary genre of dark academia but of what i do know,

"disneyfied" meaning: there is no death and things are lighthearted for general audiences.

here is my reasoning behind whether or not i consider it dark academia (under the read more) in this essay i will--

again, i haven't read much of any dark academia but from what i know, major components/common plot points and themes seem to be:

The school environment the cast of characters are in is a very dangerous one that has lead to lives being taken (most often offering a murder mystery element to the story)

If the students don't learn their shit and follow the rules and rise the ranks, while also keeping their head down, they could be next on the chopping block.

Often times this leads to alliances and sometimes unlikely friendships and they band together to make it through the school year.

They gotta use their intellect to play their cards right in order to survive, that or take down whatever force is there that's a threat to them. a Kill Or Be Killed kind of battle here.

The book is making a purposeful critique on the academic systems which enforce these dangerous traditions that endanger the students in the first place, all in the name of prestige, competition, class, and elitism/exclusivity.

(Often times the protagonist is a fish out of water as they somehow manage to make it into the prestigious university through a scholarship rather than old money family reputation)

with that breakdown laid out, here is where im drawing the comparisons to twisted wonderland (EN server as i am an EN player) (so basically books 1-6)

Canon game!Yuu, through isekai magic, finds themself at a prestigious mage school despite not being a magic user. A fish out of water like the last point made above.

There is a very competitive nature to the mindset of the student body of "the weak follow the strong" (paraphrased), as well as high ranking titles of housewarden and their vices that students can duel their upperclassmen for to prove their strength.

Among the student body are also many, many celebrities and royals and other such upper class 1%ers, and with the intern opportunities offered to 4th years, it is very evident that this is a very prestigious school. Really, the only reason there are folks like Ruggie (lower class upbringing) and Jamil (a literal indentured servant) are admitted into the school is because of a magic mirror that summoned them via the black carriage. dark mirror believes in equity.

Allyship is a major element to the story, as the friendships that Yuu makes with their peers are their greatest strength when facing adversity (given they have no magic). goes to show just how beneficial it is to network, folks!

Although school life seems peaceful on usual days, Yuu is consistently placed into dangerous, life-threatening scenarios (OB fights) that are made possible because of the worldbuilding element of overblotting. Yuu and company have to use their wits and what they learn over the course of the school year to survive these life-threatening situations that are, canonically, "very rare occurrences" and yet the school has done little to nothing to address this issue.

(essentially, with the student body's competitive mindset and the magic mirror choosing people who are a little fucked up from trauma, this place is a breeding ground for these overblots to happen!)

these are sort of where i end the comparisons, but a lot of this feels like more set dressing for interesting plot, rather than what dark academia is usually expected to address. which is to say the common theme being a critique on the system as mentioned in the first bullet point list.

i guess you could argue that a lot of the reason why the OG gang even make it out on the other end of those breakdowns is because of Yuu essentially critiquing/challenging the ideology of the boy who is OBing. and that part of the boys' redemption/recovery that follows after is them realizing the wrongdoings they committed and aiming to change, thanks to the influence of Yuu and co.

however

these are more of a 1v1, student v student critique, but not a critique on the system that is enforcing and/or encouraging these harmful ideologies in the first place.

Yuu has duked it out countless times against these OBing boys, but has never once questioned why it's happening so much. In fact, the ONLY person that's questioning the recurrence has been Idia in book 6 and that's only because his family business has historically been all about researching OB. and even then, he's not questioning NRC and the harmful rhetoric it cultivates in its student body i.e. "the weak follow the strong."

the only time anyone questions the Dark Mirror on why it summons who to the school is in regards to Yuu coming from a magicless world, and not "wait, what's the rubric the mirror looks at when considering what 15 year old will start their first year here?"

Even as Yuu finally realizes in the beginning book 5 that the dreams they have are based on the Great Seven, and seeing the discrepancy of the dreams and the revised historical accounts, they dont even actually stop to think "oh, maybe striving to be anything like these seven historical figures is a bad and harmful thing... why does this school go out of its way to encourage students to strive to be like these figures?" their only focus has only ever been finding a way to return home, and not actually exploring anything about NRC and its potential secrets.

and i think that's where it falls short of being a dark academia, even a disneyfied version because a big part of dark academia is the academia. while twisted wonderland focuses more on the relationships between the characters, dark academia would focus more on the characters' relationship to the school system itself and how it negatively effects them.

however (........2!)

i haven't read any translations for book 7, but from what i can tell it's still the same "an inter/intrapersonal thing happens to a housewarden and they snap" (obvi there's more to it in this one because it's THE Malleus Draconia we're talking about and it's nearing the end of the story/arc so it's got lots to cover and loose ends to tie) but so far it's still not addressing the School/Institution/Academia that these boys have been constantly overblotting in over the school year.

there's still plenty of time for the story to pivot it's direction to addressing the Seven's revised history in this world, and what the everloving fuck Crowley has really been up to behind the scenes all this time because you KNOW he's got something to do with Yuu's sudden arrival and everything that's followed there after.

so perhaps disney really will take this into a dark academia direction, or perhaps you consider it already to be included in the genre. i'd love to hear your thoughts!

[endlesstwanted]

Bucky Barnes Bingo 2022 Masterpost

Hello world, this is the masterpot of my fills for the @buckybarnesbingo round 4.

It’s been a wild ride since June and these prompts have created more WIPs than I was able to post, but here’s the result! I had a blast writing Bucky and exploring these various pairings.

I managed to fill fifteen prompts from my card, plus one adopted (that's what the Bucky circle below my name stands for!). Most of them are stand-alone one shots, with a few chapters for on-going works and a moodboard, creating over 23k words (which is an impressive wordcount for me).

This is how my card looks at the end of the round. All these fills are gathered in this Ao3 collection, and below the keep reading you can find all the information. Thanks for reading!

B1 — YouTuber!Bucky

Record. Stop. Replay. | One shot Rating: General Audiences Pairings: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Thor Summary: Bucky is supposed to record these videos today, but whoever moved next door is making it very difficult. Tony comes as backup. Tags: No Powers AU, Established Relationship, First Meetings Wordcount: 1,834

U1 — Hot water

Maybe around you | One shot in a series Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson Summary: When they come home after a mission, Sam prepares a nice hot bath and Bucky brings up an interesting proposal. Tags: Bathing/Washing, Pet Names, Idiots in Love, Communication Wordcount: 1,710

C1 — Anonymous confessions

Since you are, everything that was is now something new: feelings exposure | Chapter one in chaptered work Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing: implied past-Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers Summary: Snippets on how to be wooed by two super soldiers, a guide by Sharon Carter. Chapter summary: Step one: feelings exposure Tags: Recreational Drug Use, Developing Relationship, Light Angst Wordcount: 698 

C2 — Seeing red

Pure hell red | One shot in series Rating: General Audiences Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Natasha Romanov Summary: Natasha is back in town and looking forward to catching up with Bucky. Tags: Modern Setting AU, Reunions, Flirting Wordcount: 1,633

K2 — Asexuality (swapped)

Gotta learn to speak your mind | One shot in a series Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson Summary: Cuddling in bed, Bucky and Sam talk about why they have never gone past first base. Tags: Late Night Conversations, Communication, Love Confessions Wordcount: 1,479

Y2 — AU: single parent

Dogs’ week | One shot in series Rating: General Audiences Characters : Bucky Barnes, Darcy Lewis, Original Child Character Summary: Just when Bucky needs someone to take care of his labrador, Darcy’s leaving her apartment with four dogs. Tags: No Powers AU, Single Parent Bucky Barnes, Dogs, Neighbors Wordcount: 1,366

B3 — Polyamory/Open relationship (swapped)

I abandon myself to the glimpses of prior times | One shot Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers Summary: After a disastrous attempt to cook for Steve, Sharon and Bucky come up with a new idea to save breakfast. Tags: Slice of Life, Baking, Domestic Fluff Wordcount: 1,676

C3 — Free

When the night falls, wrap me up with your voice | One shot Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Darcy Lewis Summary: ... there are some nights when Bucky just can't sleep. And together, they found a way to fight the nightmares. Tags: Established Relationship, Reading Aloud, Trust Wordcount: 527

K3 — No trust

Each one will tell you a story | One shot Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing: Bucky Barnes/John Walker Summary: In a moment of quiet, Bucky lets John explore the scars on his body. Tags: Developing Relationship, Aftercare, Non-Sexual Intimacy

Wordcount: 1,207

U4 — AU: rockstar

The colors of the stars | Moodboard Rating: General Audiences Character: Bucky Barnes Summary: Drummer Bucky Barnes has done their first interview for a fashion magazine. Tags: No Powers AU, Music, Interviews Wordcount: 47 (alternate text)

K4 — Coma

No, it is easier said than done | One shot Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Characters: Bucky Barnes, John Walker, Ava Starr Summary: Bucky wakes up from surgery to find out that John has been there all along. Tags: Injury, Team Bonding, Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss Wordcount: 1,144

Y4 — Shoot first, ask never

Fate’s tricky ways | One shot Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson Summary: Bucky is planning to make a move on Sam now that they have the compound for themselves for a couple of days, and when he shows up with pre-heat symptoms and asks Bucky for help, he realises it’s time for him to shoot his shot. Tags: Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Mutual Pining, Cuddling & Snuggling Wordcount: 2,548

B5 — Missing you

Does your heartbeat get a little bit louder? | One shot Rating: Mature Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Sharon Carter Summary: Bucky and Sharon move the catching up to bed, and it takes an unexpected turn. Tags: Sexual Content, Gentle Kissing, Feelings Realization Wordcount: 992

U5 — Image prompt: Bucky and Sam in car scene from CA:CW

Closing the differences between us | One shot Rating: Explicit Pairings: Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov Summary: With Bucky joining Captain America's team, the four of them have to find balance in both their romantic relationships and battle field performances. Natasha suggests a partner swap. Tags: Partner Swapping, Communication, Porn with Feelings Wordcount: 2,682

Y5 — Hydra

Throw your knives at my heart instead | One shot Rating: Mature (SFW) Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov Summary: Bucky finds Clint target practising with Natasha, and for a moment he’s the one handling the knives again. Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Forehead Kisses Wordcount: 1,417

AU: Asgardian (adopted prompt)

The Groot exam | One shot in series Rating: General Audiences Characters: Bucky Barnes, Loki, Frigga Summary: Bucky and Loki spend some quality time together after a big exam. Tags: Friendship, Hair Braiding, Domestic Fluff

Wordcount: 652

Thanks for sticking around, until the next post!

[fourseasonsfigs]

Colorful Black

We're taking a short break from our foray into the Junzhe Extended Universe to come back to our own. A little less exciting, perhaps, but just as cute!

This fig set includes Gong Jun dressed in his Mujosh endorsement finery, complete with orange-tinted lenses:

Looking good, Junjun! I'm bummed out his Mujosh partnership is over - we sure got some great looks out of it. I also got some really nice eyeglasses frames out of it too. Very nice quality!

Zhehan's looking absolutely gorgeous in this photoset here:

Why his sweatshirt has "The Age of Stupid" on a laptop screen is beyond me, but Zhehan doesn't control what stylists put him in!

No matter, he's incandescently beautiful.

Here's our two adorable figs from this set, and I love them. Absolutely love them. Zhehan is so soft haired and sweet looking, and Junjun's rocking his shiny leather jacket and will very soon have some rockin' shades. I'll do the pics without the sunglasses first, and then with them.

You might notice here that Junjun has a groove in the side of his head there above his cute little ear. What this is, is the most brilliant notch for his Mujosh sunglasses! As someone who has struggled mightily with fig glasses of all kinds, this is a godsend. The little stems fit right into it and they don't fall down his face!

Classic that we have Junjun all fancy and Zhehan all casual wearing socks with slides! I love it.

It never fails to make me laugh when we get to this angle and see the relative proportions. I love JZP fig makers so much.

May I also just say how much I love Zhehan's hair in all incarnations. I'm so happy he's done so many things with it over the course of his career - we get so many awesomely varied hairstyles with him.

Junjun's hair, on the other hand, is generally a variation on his usual medium-short length, but even then fig makers add a little flair to it somewhere! Usually his bangs. Which of course, has nothing to do with this angle.

You can see the matching groove for the sunglasses here by Junjun's ear.

The shininess of Junjun's coat is fantastic. I like when the fig makers play around with texture for the figs, adds so much great interest. Hehe, Zhehan's slides look particularly good (?!?) here!

Top down is often a bit uninteresting, but I like this one! We get the style-y hair parts and the relative look of the outfits all in one go.

This photo took me aback for a second when I went to go crop it, I thought, what piece of styrofoam did I get on Zhehan's shorts! But no. Zhehan's shorts tie is just at an awkward place. I scrolled back up to the photo inspiration, and whoa, yep, what do you know. I wonder if you know what, I'm just gonna stop here and not try to figure out the photographer's mindset. Moving right along!

Please notice the red heeled soles on Junjun's shoes, so nice! This is also a great opportunity to check out the modeling, and see the relatively wider looking face they gave Junjun and the smaller, little rounder face for Zhehan. These figs are so well done. Believe it or not, these are actually some of my favorite figs, I just love them.

Alright! We got some cool shades for our Cool Boy. Here's an extreme closeup of the hair grooves and the matching tabs on the sunglasses.

On to the pics with the glasses! Yikes, I gotta watch my photo count since we're definitely hitting the max 30 on this post.

So handsome, Gong Laoshi!

The glasses are sturdily on, thanks to the grooves! Speaking of sturdy, these figs do stand fairly well. No balancing issues with mine.

Here's the back of the box cards, along with the an optional add-on for some stickers.

Wow, I barely managed to stay at the photo limit! I did want to show the artwork on both boxes. When I read the quotation on the first box, I was like, oh ho ho, this fig seller has an opinion on who fell for the other first! I got so excited to read the other box quote and see what it said, and then I realized it was just the same. Bummer! I've read a lot of fan fictions that have one or the other falling in love with the other first (and plenty with both at the same time, of course), and frankly, they're all fantastic. I could read them daily hourly every minute and not get tired of them!

Material: PVC

Fig Count: 328

Scene Count: 24

Rating: My personal opinion is at the same time, myself.

[link back to Master Fig Index for more posts]

[ectoplasmer]

"How unreasonably in love I am with everything you do", "Because brick by brick you built us, and I'd fill in the cracks", and "I’ll keep the king, keep him safe at bay" for any F/O!

And I can relate to the writing paragraphs for these ask games thing, sometimes you just get Thoughts and gotta share em all lol

helloooo peyton!! thank you for the asks <3 I have a very bad habit to go on rambles that are like miles long during ask games because I just have waaaay too many thoughts about my f/os lol. But I’ll try to avoid that this time around!! I’ll be answering for my main boys because I am Clinically Unwell over all of them >_<

How unreasonably in love I am with everything you do: What is your favorite little known fact (headcanon or not) about your f/o? What is their favorite little known fact about you?

It’s mentioned a few times that the Ghouls made rare counterfeit cards, and they can be read by the Kaiba Corporation duel disks (as shown by Rishid’s duel with Jou in Battle City when he uses the fake Ra card). While this definitely ventures into headcanon territory and it’s more likely that the Ghouls made the cards themselves, I like thinking that Marik played a key role in designing them and getting them to work, and that he picked up an interest in technological things once he left the tomb his family resided in and such things became more accessible. I think he’d have fun going through the trial and error of getting things to work, considering how many things he can do and/or make with tech ^^ There are all sorts of books and shows that I want to experience, but whenever I actually get the chance to do as such (finding a place to watch said show or buying a hard copy of a book) it usually takes me forever to actually get around to it. My interests aren’t exactly “spontaneous” like Marik’s are, but they’re definitely a bit overly ambitious, and I think he’d relate to that.

It’s mentioned once in canon, but Ryou can cook!! And is actually pretty good at it. This is probably because of him living alone and having to take care of himself on his own, but I think it’s a sort of unexpected skill of him to have, considering his interests don’t seem to align with it all that much (*gestures towards his love for the occult and weird things, and him being an absolute nerd overall*). Him having such a domestic skill is just another little fact reinstating how much of a weird conundrum he is to me <3 Ryou knows that I love engaging in horror media with him, but he also understands that I have my boundaries and limits with it; I think one of his favorite things about me might be how the only times I have had to stop watching a horror movie was when it concerned the injury (or death) of animals. I am a wimp but I think he’s glad that I know what I can and can’t handle.

BAKURA CAN’T READ (hieratic) AND IT’S REALLY FUNNY TO ME AFSJDHD it’s implied (or blatantly stated?? I can’t remember) that Marik had to read the ancient chant out for him when he summoned the Winged Dragon of a Ra during his duel with Yami Marik, and this specific fact stands out to me because, just like with everything else he does, he still manages to find a way to get past this metaphorical boulder in his path to put his plan (or rather dueling strategy) into action. If I get worked up enough about something, or if I’m tired enough, I often start speaking out loud to myself to rationalize or organize my thoughts. Sometimes I’ll even get into little debates or discussions with myself during these times, so if Bakura is ever present he often throws in little questions or comments to get me even more involved with whatever ramble I’m going on about. It’s lowkey really endearing because it gives me a chance to get all my thoughts on something out of my head :)

And lastly but certainly not least, Melvin rebuilt Marik’s deck during the Battle City finals, and I think this is a fact that is often glossed over because it insinuates that Marik has a completely different dueling strategy compared to his darker half. This just further emphasizes my thoughts/suspicions that everything Melvin did during Battle City was to distance himself from and make himself independent of the “main personality”, even if it was done in really drastic ways (or, with just changing his deck, very minimal ways). I also just think it’s a neat little fact that highlights the differences between him and Marik. I tiptoe walk, but it’s not for any particular reason, just out of habit. Melvin thinks it’s “endearing” for… whatever reason >_< but whenever he catches me doing it he usually just presses a hand to my head to push me back onto the flats of my feet lol. I don’t think he likes whenever I try to be at his height >:3

Because brick by brick you built us, and I'd fill in the cracks: Do you think you've grown (confidence, self love, etc) in any way thanks to your f/o's influence?

In a way I think I’ve grown a bit when it comes to self love? But it’s in more of a backwards way… I haven’t ever been with any f/os for this long, let alone over a year, because usually I would’ve moved on to another interest. So considering how long I’ve been with my current f/os, and how much more personal my relationship with them feels… I almost want to say that I’ve learned to love myself more because I genuinely feel that they love me?? Something like that.

They’ve also helped me grow the scope of my interests, as I didn’t even give trading card games a second look before getting into YuGiOh. While I was already a fan of horror before becoming attached to Ryou and Bakura, I think they sort of expanded my interests from silly slashers into more serious psychological horror media and mystery oriented things. I’ve also definitely tried getting into a few RPGs because of them, but none of those have stuck so far ^^;

I’ll keep the king, keep him safe at bay...: Describe and gush about how it feels being held by your f/o.

MARIK IS SO WARM IT’S UPSETTING SGDKDGDJ his hugs are often really firm and enveloping but in a good way; being held by him ironically makes me feel like I can breathe at times when I can’t. Usually he just presses me right up against his chest so I can hear his heartbeat, which still gets me so flustered every single time. Sometimes he lets me trace the scars on his back… he’s literally just a weighted blanket lol <3 On the other hand, Melvin’s hugs are usually looser (unless one of us is upset/feeling down, in which his hugs are more firm like Marik’s), probably because he’s still a little worried about accidentally hurting me… despite this, I think being held by him is a bit more smothering compared to the others, but (again) in a good way. he’s also really warm sgdjdgd they’re both natural heaters

Ryou’s body is sort of lanky but it’s only really noticeable when Bakura is the one in control. They’re also much colder compared to Mariks, but usually after a while of being held by either of them they tend to warm up at least a little bit. Ryou’s hugs fluctuate between being loose and being secure. He usually smells like laundry detergent and his clothes are always really comfortable and often soft, so being held by him feels… homey, almost. Being held by him makes me feel safe and looked after and cared for <3 Bakura’s hugs are the only ones I can truly describe as tight, and I’d almost go as far to say that his are just as, if not more suffocating than Melvin’s. Surprisingly, I think he’s actually the clingiest of the four, so being held by him ranges from randomly getting hugged to actual cuddle sessions (in which he’s busy trying to figure out every possible way to get us tangled up together lol). Sometimes I wonder if he understands what personal space is, but then I remember how he looks when he nuzzles against me, or how his hands feel when they slide into mine, or how his hair sometimes brushes against my face when he’s holding me… and that sort of makes up for it <3

[187days]

Day Forty-Eight

First quarter is over! Woohoo!

I was really busy during flex block because I was helping students who were revising papers, retaking tests, etc... And I was simultaneously overseeing the first meeting of the school’s new debate club (some of my seniors asked me to be the advisor, I said sure). Really, it was just a planning session, so I was able to work with other students while it was going on; the ten or so kids who were really interested in starting the club gathered to figure out how they wanted to run the meetings, topics they wanted to debate, how to advertise to get more members. I checked in every few minutes, made some suggestions, set up a space in Classroom for them. It’s very cool.

I was also really busy during my prep time because I was grading aforementioned retakes and revisions, fielding questions from parents, putting report card comments in PowerSchool, all the usual things. I managed to get it all done, though, so I didn’t have to stay late on a Friday. Go me. 

The end of the quarter is most exciting for the freshmen, who are now halfway through their first high school classes, and, I’m happy to report, doing quite well. I had them reflect on their experience in World thus so far, and a lot of them wrote that they were happy with their progress, or feeling like they’ve gotten better at particular skills, that kind of thing. So that’s awesome. 

After they wrote those reflections, they did a quick peer review of another student’s religion/philosophy essay (I made copies without names, put them in Classroom, had everyone choose one; they had to tell me what they learned from it, and what they thought the author did well and/or could improve). And after that we started a new unit! I gave a basic overview of what they could expect in the coming weeks, explained how and when they would be assessed, and gave vocabulary notes in my usual, old school style. I got a little bit behind in my Block 2 class, so I was going to save the last third of the notes for Monday so as not to cut into silent reading time, but the students took a vote (fitting, as the new unit is about government and history, and one of the terms is democracy) and decided they wanted to finish today. So that’s what we did. In Block 3, my timing was spot on, so it wasn’t even an issue. It’s always easier the second go-around, and I’ve said in past entries that the students in that section tend to complete their work more quickly.

My GOV students spent their class time working on Major Case Projects, which are looking really good. I think most groups have finished gathering the requisite information, so on Monday they’ll polish their presentations and actually practice speaking. I could’ve imposed a tighter deadline, had the projects due Monday instead, but I want them to have that practice time. Even for seniors, sometimes, public speaking is hard. Heck, even for me it can be hard! Preparation is the key. 

Oh, and there was this convo with one of the captains of the football team:

Student A: You guys have a play-off game on Saturday? FB Captain: Yup. And we’re gonna win. Me: Against who? FB Captain: It’s against <Opposing Team Name> Me: Oh, kid, I’m really sorry, but you’re gonna get crushed. FB Captain: Come on, Miss M, don’t say that!  Me: They crush us in every sport. Didn’t they crush you guys last season? FB Captain: ... Okay, yes. It was 45-0. But it’s a new season! Student A: Yeah, Miss M, it’s a new season! FB Captain: Gotta keep the faith. Winning mentality. Me: Alright, alright. I’ll keep the faith. Go do it. FB Captain: That’s right. We’ll revisit this Monday, Miss M.

I absolutely love the optimism and the fire. And we will, indeed, revisit this Monday!