#i really am all out of SQ now. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brf-rumortrackinganon · 29 days

Note

Do you all have any proof that Invictus wants nothing to do with Harry or is it just a hunch based on narratives you’ve made up yourselves? Or maybe it is just wishful thinking on your part?

First off, reading and context is fundamental. No one has said Invictus wants nothing to do with Harry. We’re saying that it doesn’t make sense why Invictus keeps Harry around when he doesn’t appear to provide them any value. From a liability and risk management perspective, they have to be doing something to protect themselves from his lack of engagement.

And it is actually data-driven speculation. I don’t make stuff up here; I am always researching, I am always reading, I am always learning, and that is what informs my theories. There is very little I take at face-value.

But since your insult was polite, I’ll let you look at my homework instead of telling you to go figure it out yourself. Just this one time.

So this is the financial report from the UK charity registry:

Expenses (money going out) and income (money coming in, i.e. the donations) are virtually the same. In other words: as of 2022, Invictus is barely breaking even. This is not good; it means, more or less, they're one crisis away from some serious problems.

It also means that their actual Games - which, in 2022 would have been The Hague/Dutch IG - are expensed entirely by the host city. So basically, the charity itself is nothing more than a glorified events planner spending someone else's money. That's...not exactly the mission we're told that Invictus Games is.

Now, that orange line there on the bottom is what the UK calls "governance." (In the US, we call it "administrative.") This is what it means, from IG's 2022 financial report:

Note that this doesn't include salaries for the 12 (as of 12/31/2022) employees at IG. According to Giving is Great, a UK charity watchdog, senior staff costs (i.e. salaries and benefits) is 26%, or approximately £500,000. Add the governance/admin costs, and we're looking at £750,000 a year just to keep the charity's lights on. When your total budget is £2 million, that's a big chunk of change. 40%, in fact.

Second let's look at their income. The UK charity registry breaks the "gross income" down into several subcategories. For Invictus Games:

(The column headers were cut off but from left to right it's 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, and 2022.)

Meaning that in 2022, their income came from donations, trading, and charitable activities.

(Remember that in 2020, the Royal Foundation made a £1 million donation to Invictus Games, which I believe makes up the majority of that £1.4m donation. If that assumption is correct, then that means in 2020, Harry was only able to fundraise an additional £400,000 in donations. Now, 2020 was a very difficult year for a lot of charities and nonprofits so that steep dropoff isn't unusual to see in the financial reports.)

Now from the 2022 financial report, here's what these categories mean:

So just really quick. Unrestricted means that the recipient chooses where/how to spend the money. Restricted means that the donor directs where/how the charity spends the money. So Invictus could spend £381K of the donations (Category #2) anywhere they wanted to, but for the remaining £700K of donations they received, they had to follow specific directions on how to use it.

What this is saying is that of the total income earned by Invictus Games in 2022, only £1.08 million came from donations.

Now, in my (volunteer) experience working in nonprofit fundraising most lay people (i.e. members of the general public who donate to charities) don't usually direct or designate their donation. So most of the regular donations are going into the unrestricted pot. Corporate donors, sponsors, or partners are more likely to give restricted gifts, where they direct how the money will be spent. So based on my experience, I feel comfortable assuming, or suggesting, that £231,447 received in unrestricted donations is people like, you, me, and Sussex Squad donating to Invictus out of pocket.

That's a pretty poor showing. And in my opinion, it's a direct reflection of Harry's leadership; he isn't inspiring people to donate to Invictus. Instead, the bulk of Invictus's income/donations is coming from corporate sponsorships.

Most charities cannot survive on corporate sponsorships and partnerships. It does not guarantee long-term survival. Long-term survival is predicated on investments, endowments, and contracts...which Invictus doesn't have, which means their patron isn't doing his share.

Third let's look at the actual Games themselves. The Hague/Dutch IG was given a budget of €15 million (~$16 million). According to this leaked letter from the Dusseldorf IG Committee, the Hague IG Games actually ended up costing €25 million (~$27 million). That's a 60% increase, and it's impossible for all of that to be due to COVID-related inflation.

Going backed to the leaked Dusseldorf IG letter, their budget was about €27 million (~$29 million). It's being reported that the Dusseldorf IG actually ended up costing closer to €37 million (~$40 million). This is a 37% increase; they were also very over budget.

And in March 2023, Invictus Games 2025 signed and published, to their website, a Contribution Agreement outlining that Canada's budget for the Vancouver IG is $30 million CAD (~$22 million USD); $15 million CAD (~$11 million USD) from the province of British Columbia and $15 million CAD from the government of Canada.

So if I split the baby for budget overrun [(60% + 37%)/2=48.5%], we're looking at Vancouver IG to probably end up costing around $44.5 million CAD.

In other words...they're in trouble. Meaning that Invictus and its board should be working together with the local corporation(s) to cut costs and increase savings/get new sponsors and partners. Meaning that the patron should be out there campaigning and fundraising for money or figuring out how and where to cut costs...but he isn't.

Or those efforts aren't visible. Not when the competing PR is about Harry's attacks on the BRF, Spare, Meghan's merching, and stories like this one of key leaders being abruptly fired and whistleblowers leaking to the press.

Now why would someone be abruptly fired without notice? It's not for shock and awe. It's either for incredible malfeasance (like fraud and embezzlement) or because someone much higher up wanted it. Since there's no paper trail or proof of wrongdoing - which Vancouver IG would have leaked in some way, shape or form - all the evidence strongly suggests the two men were fired because someone else demanded it. Maybe, say, someone who costs so much more than he's actually worth, who causes more problems than solves, who has alienated a lot of public goodwill. Of course, that's just pure speculation. But it is strange. One person getting fired without notice, sure, not really worth paying attention. But two people? And two people who purportedly know a whole lot about what's happening behind closed doors? That's hinky.

Have I forgotten anything?

Oh, right. This: growing criticism and dissatisfaction from local host-nation communities, Invictus's competitors and their families, and social media over the Sussexes' inability (and disinterest) to promote anyone but themselves whilst attending events.

The last thing any brand wants (or needs) is an ambassador that alienates their core customer base and prospective supporters and dominates the news with controversy. Brands, including nonprofit organizations, rely pretty heavily on:

The goodwill and positive attention their ambassadors generate

The users, fans, supporters, customers, and consumers that follow their ambassadors and

The networks their ambassadors move in.

Harry doesn't do any of that either:

He loses public goodwill every time he opens his mouth and invites only criticism.

The customers (the veterans and their families) aren't happy that their efforts are overshadowed. The consumers (people at home following along) are unhappy and dissatisfied that they can't find information about the competitors or the Games themselves because the only press coverage is about Harry and Meghan.

Harry is completely excluded from the royal, military, international, and aristo networks that propped him up 10 years ago to launch this thing. Invictus can't tap into that anymore, so why should they keep him around?

Let's review.

Invictus's expenses and income barely break even. Further, their reserves allow them to operate for less than one whole year. That's a really uncomfortable place to be in. Where is their patron to help seek out income streams that would build up their reserves?

Based on donation data, they're wheezing along on spit and prayer. They rely almost exclusively on corporate sponsors/partners. There's no investments, no endowments, no contracts. Actual "from the people" donations is just paltry. Where is their patron to lead fundraising campaigns, recruit new sponsors, develop investment opportunities?

The costs to host the Games keeps ballooning. Some cost overrun is normal, expected, and even budgeted for, but not the amounts that Invictus keeps turning out. Where is their patron to help look for new partners or charm everyone over with budget cuts?

There was a personnel shakeup in the Vancouver 2025 leadership that caused a lot of questions and concerns about their readiness to host their events and revealed a lot of morale issues. Where was their patron to calm the chaos?

There's growing criticism over the patron's behavior that is reflecting badly on Invictus Games and their brand. Where is the patron changing his behavior, changing his attitude, changing his priority?

I'll tell you where the patron is. He and his wife are flying around the world to party at Soho Houses, whine about being cut off from his family after he spent 3 years attacking them, spending other people's money in ridiculous ways, and getting wastedly high after his wife and kids go to bed.

The longer Invictus Games is associated with that, the more it reflects on them and their brand. They can't afford that. Not when they're promoting themselves as "family friendly" or "family supporting" (which is how they've justified Meghan's involvement).

It doesn't make any sense for them to keep Harry on. He's not fundraising for them. He's not schmoozing. He costs more money than he brings in. The people they serve don't like him. He isn't bringing big donors in. He isn't speaking to or supporting his family.

And allllllllll this together is why I say "I wouldn't be surprised if Invictus is trying to phase Harry out." It's why I say "depending on how well Germany Invictys 2024 goes, that may be the proof they can survive without him."

It's data-driven speculation. Not something I've made up. The only thing that's made up is the speculation about why two senior leaders were so abruptly fired. But that isn't even part of the analysis or the calculation.

Next time, anon, you're doing your own fucking research.

#ask #brf #sussexes #invictus games

134 notes · View notes

narwhalandchill · 17 days

Note

how are we feeling about this project amber update

assuming this is in relation to childe bc who the fuck else JWDJWJKDJKW anon im so sorry if not. also so so sorry for how out of hand this got. i am simply unwell about him.

But! Well. there certainly are thoughts

(obviously 4.6 datamine of arle SQ and her voicelines; This Will Not Spoil Anything Abt The Main SQ Plot, i only discuss the relevant parts. also some p Heavy negativity towards fanon ooc at the start youve been warned dont @ me)

(i mean i didnt even read anything of the SQ but The scene w childe so idek the main plot of the quest rly either lmao. tho go at ur own risk if u wanna check the dialogue out; its the 2nd quest log but it does hint at the greater story)

TLDR: how i feel abt his appearance in a vaccuum? quite solid despite the briefness, actually. accounting for the way fanon is 100% likely going to be reading into this and turning it into the Lets Infantilize Ajax Even More 2024 championship? conflicted.

in other words; a certified labyrinth warriors moment - theyve expanded on childes character in a very interesting and quite a compelling way and while i Do like the potential in what im seeing from hoyos end theyve also done it so that its going to be misinterpreted to hell and back by fanon so i kinda have an immediate jaded love-hate moment going on JJWJDKJDKJWJDWKJ

its literally just labyrinth warriors flashbacks - that event has some of my ALL TIME favorite insights into who ajax is and how he views the world and himself but when the event came out all everyone cared abt was to warp it into baby boy stuck in scawwy paper boy dungeon dehumanizes himself by calling himself a weapon and doesnt love himself he is such a sad trauma meowkitten 🥺🥺so yeah

bc like lets look at this properly for a bit; okay he went back to fontaine to look for skirk still somewhat injured and waa waa my 286 month infant baby cannot Make decisions like that!!!!!11! which is to say. i am tired of him getting this shit every time.

is it smart of him to get on the move immediately with just the bare minimum of rest? no. do i like that hes straining himself before proper recovery? not particularly no. do i feel the particular need to psychoanalyze this grown man and feared warrior whos 100% survived Way Worse in Way More Extreme Situations for it? hell fucking no.

while not at all the course of action a medical professional would approve of. from childes POV its perfectly logical hes priorizing going back for skirk when its literally the FIRST TIME shes showed up in like. a Decade. when hes been looking for her all this time are you kidding me 😭😭😭 but fanon must keep fanoning for their widdle baby girl so what does a hater like me know

anyway. seething and venting over im gonna try to avoid bringing up how much i hate this kinda infantilization of ajax now im sorry for bringing it up so much on ur innocent ask anon KJWDJKWKJDJDKWJKD. neutral discussion moment. i Promise

so it seems that theyre going for the pulcinella-is-shady-about-ajax (and prolly his family) angle for good and like. personally for me as long as the only real source of that claim was scara (a cynical edgelord who doesnt believe in non-exploitative human relationships, mind you) i was rather skeptical towards just instantly drawing that conclusion, but well. with the scene in arles AQ it appears to be sth theyre building towards

i actually really fucking loved that scene bc while theres outsider perspectives (scara obvi; and even arles line for him has that vibe. and ppl still take that shit face value 💀💀) and a lot of fandom assuming childes like. completely clueless and naive and ignorant towards the potential risks involved with trusting pulcinella. this is actually a very clever demonstration of quite the opposite? and showcasing how despite his aversion towards schemes and lies hes still intelligent and knows the kind of people hes dealing with when it comes to his fellow harbingers

like. childe has a negative opinion of arle based on what pulcinella has told him about her because at face value many of her deeds are in heavy conflict with his values of loyalty and family. and because he does not have the further context behind her actions and what the HotH under her is really like. Obviously hed hold a very hostile and wary view towards arlecchino

(ESPECIALLY when with all this biased intel hes still going to run into kids from the house!!! and then hes going wtf? these are good kids. what the hell is that knave doing with them??? blink twice if you need help i will start a civil war for yall like thats how he is with kids!!!!)

so YES. pulcinella has given him if not false then at least misleading intel based on the political tension between himself and arlecchino and the wider HotH. and childes taken that at face value! sure! he is close with pulcinella of course he would!

BUT. THEN. he returns to fontaine and seeks arlecchinos help looking for skirk. and observes her behavior and modus operandi for himself as well as the kids. does he go "nah she must be just hiding the crazy evil shit i would never distrust pulcinella" and leave it at that when reality doesnt completely match his expectations?

NO. because when offered the opportunity through the traveler asking about the HotH childe immediately capitalizes on the opportunity to prod for answers and see if pulcinella is lying to him!!!!

and hes so fucking smart with the way he does it too???? i LOVE his intelligence. the entire thing is so simple yet elegant; it Completely relies on his reputation as the kinda gullible harbinger whod Never scheme or hide Anything to indirectly affirm or deny his suspicions. he doesnt Need to Pretend to care about the possibility of arle betraying the kids bc he genuinely does!! and when she pushes back against the accusation he doesnt Need to fake admitting to her that well, actually, its all just rumors so he could be completely wrong. and so on. like he navigates the entire thing so effortlessly. and whats the end result?

childe has Confirmation of pulcinellas possible ulterior motives in action AND that arlecchino is a much more reliable ally than he initially assumed. all the while appearing as just The Straightforward 11th. like obviously id need to hear it voiced first to be sure but in text it v much gives the impression hes almost kinda just. playing up the threats towards arle and being "dumb" on Purpose?? to get the answers he wanted out of arle without appearing like hes fishing for anything particular. and i just hhhhhhhhhhh

i love when he does this so muchhhh!!!!!! 😭😭 he doesnt need to become some machiavellian schemer to be able to strategize !!!!!! he avoids scheming bc he Dislikes it not bc hes incapable of it like this has Always been the case Since Liyue AQ and i love whenever they show that side of himm . my Beloved

so anyway. while i do still think the like "pulcinella is bad and has his family hostage" is still kind of a generic plotline and i hope the writing regarding the whole thing wont ultimately turn out to be sth That simplified and black and white. its p clear theyre doing Something with pulcinellas motivations and as they are. im Really glad theyre letting it show that childes not just some completely passive party being manipulated in this all. he Is thinking abt this stuff and his position among the harbingers. ig we shall see where it goes - not the greatest fan of the concept still, but canon text supports it becoming a thing way more than when it was just scaras word we had for it. hope theyll surprise me positively w how they go about it!

then briefly for the rest uhh

also loved arle and childe just shittalking the rest of the harbingers it was amazing. i wasnt expecting this kinda dynamic between them at all but its great lmao. also i wanna see childe hang out w the HotH kids

as for project stuzha; so we dont really get anything solid on it other than being summoned back to snezhnaya for it is apparently a Big Deal. but still very interested. let my man have his endgame significance Trust

childes appearance was obviously v brief ultimately but that was clear from his leaked linecount to begin with - i am pretty satisfied with what they seem to have done w him. like its not The Best but also i wasnt expecting his lore to get some massive expansion in another harbingers SQ . the worst i feared was that it was just going to be a flashback of arle returning his vision which did Not happen so massive W. i am super hyped to hear this scene voice acted proper and happy to see him again, i really hope he gets to appear at least once more in an interlude or dains quest or something before going on hiatus again but idk if thats too much to ask LKKWJDJWDJWD

also: i am never changing my namecard after this patch drops. oh my godddddddd its So Fucking Beautiful 😭😭😭😭

But. Yeah. lots of good stuff. unfortunately lots of it will get misinterpreted and fanon will get obnoxious about it. but i still love getting to see him again and i am speedrunning that namecard day fucking one mutuals and/or followers in EU please add me (UID 711090267) ill need coop buddies for the world bosses

thank youuuuuuu for the ask i hope this monstrosity of a monologue doesnt scare u off 💀💀💀

#im actually so sorry for dumping this on you anon i Really hope this was what you were referring to bc . if not then JJWDJKADJKDW #ill feel horrible 😭😭😭😭 but also. this is the brand i have no clue What Else would it be #i Guess it could be about arlecchino as a whole ? im sorry anon i didnt actually read the entire SQ log so idk yet how it all goes #but sure ask me abt my arle thoughts if ud like after this jumpscare once the patch has gone live jjkjkdjkwjkjkdw #also 286 months is 23 years 10 months. no i dont have an age hc for him set in stone or anything but eh . its in the ballpark #asks #aaaand unsurprisingly this goes into #childeposting #genshin

61 notes · View notes

soimcoga · 1 year

Text

"every major baddie problem in the lmk universe is caused by SWK not dealing with his shit properly"

exept he dealt with all the shit and i'm tired of people ignoring it to paint him as an ignorant, uncaring bastard.

(very very minor s4 spoilers, so the cut)

Demon Bull King? Got his ass whooped and was sealed away for however long years it took for an entire ass megapolis to be built literally on top of him, causing absolutely no trouble to anyone whatsoever. Oh, and what sealed DBK? The staff. And if you'd care to know SWK outside of the LEGOverse, you'd realize how strong was SWK's resolve to seal DBK - keep him relatively safe, one might say - by using his trusty staff. The guy would literally die seven times over than let go of this thing.

Also people like, ignore the fact that canonically SWK stuck around the area (for the most part to stalk MK, but still), so he was literally there to deal with the DBK family if something went southwards? He didn't, because MK was able to hold the staff and the legend of the Monkie Kid then began.

(also zero antagonistic feelings towards DBK from SWK, like, whatsoever. i bet the dude actually wanted DBK to be free, cuz he felt bad abt it)

Macaque? In a morally gray manner, still very dealt with. SWK killed the dude. He was literally as dealt with as it can be. Or what, should SWK have predicted that after thousand upon thousand of years later a spirit (he dealt with too) would pull Mac out of Diyu? Yeah, I'd like to see that thought process.

SWK isn't omnipotent, he isn't even that far-thinking. Never was, actually. So holding that against him is like, very stupid. Especially because you don't do it to any other character in the show.

Spider Queen? Wouldja look at that, also pretty much dealt with. We don't really know how exactly, but we know that she lost literally every ounce of power she had and had to resort to living in the sewers, prolly never to cause troubles ever again because, well, we never even heard of her until the special. SQ was pulled onto the scene by the Lady Bone Demon.

Which is, again, something SWK couldn't predict even if he tried.

And now into the fun part.

Lady Bone Demon? Was sealed away by Tripitaka and also didn't cause any trouble until DBK decided to use this freaky coffin he knew literally zero things about for his plans.

"But he should've killed LBD!!!"

He tried. Believe him he tried. This decision just wasn't his, and if you hold it against him and not Tripitaka, shame on you.

"He should have told the crew about LBD!"

He really couldn't have.

And people thinking that are blatantly ignoring SWK's character. Not that obnoxious fan favorite uncaring bastard one.

SWK deals with things on his own. That is just how he is, how he always was and he never learned to do it the other way around. If that's a fight, he'll do it, because he's damn strong. If it's to scout the mountain, he'll do it, because Bajie is a lazy ass motherfucker. If it's to find food for Trip, he'll do it, cuz he's fast and his eyes are awesome.

Same applies here.

LBD? Tried to kill her and Trip didn't let me -> Basically I didn't do the job right -> WTF I always do my job right, I am Sun Wukong hello???

It was, dare I say, a question to his pride, and SWK will forever be prideful. And when he acts on his pride, he does it with style and flare, in the most stupid way possible.

Hence all of the s2 off-screen investigation arc.

"Well, he should've told about the Samadhi rings!"

It would've endangered Mei, questioned his at this point in time very shaky authority and ability to handle shit, and prolly would've fucked Mei up a very whole lot.

You don't go and say to a person that they are a part of the most dangerous seal in the world and could die and destroy everything they love because you fucked up long time ago (again, very much jabbing at his mentality of 'Sun Wukong can do no bad job, and if he does he'll better fucking die trying to make it right').

Was his plan a shitty one? Obviously. Like, no question asked, it was a shit show of a plan. Very in character, though (SWK handles all the shit because he thinks he can).

And this little character arc of SWK not learning a damn thing results in him, oh golly you would not believe it, running off to do things on his own because he thinks he can handle it, because he's THE Sun Wukong who already handled this in the past.

Who woulda thought.

MINOR S4 SPOILERS START HERE

And the new addition to the baddie group, Azure Lion. Won't be addressing all 'SWK is a betraying bitch' because the show refuses to give us SWK's perspective and I hate it.

But you already know what I will say, because you know the truth. He was dealt with. Got his ass whooped and sealed away in the inky scroll. To be pulled back onto the scene by a third party that Wukong literally couldn't have known about.

See a pattern?

SWK deals with the shit, some unknown variable meddles in it, suddenly SWK is an incapable asshole who left the problems for the poor lmk crew to deal with.

MINOR S4 SPOILERS END HERE

Wukong did his job. Someone fucked him over by undoing his job. He tried to deal with it again the only way he knows how, but the solo play doesn't fly anymore, so he made it kinda worse.

He's not an unbearable, incapable asshole because of it.

And I'm tired of people not seeing this.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, I am Sun Wukong Apologist till the day I die.

Have a nice day!

#lego monkie kid #lmk sun wukong #lmk s4 spoilers #tagging it as spoilers just to be sure

462 notes · View notes

weird-bookworm · 9 months

Text

ᴇʟᴅᴇʀ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ!ꜱᴇᴠᴇɴᴛᴇᴇɴ

HYUNG LINE MAKNAE LINE

a/n: i am writing this purely because all an irl friend of mine can talk about nowadays is how shua would be as an elder brother

pairing: elder brother!svt x fem!reader

genre: headcanons, fluff, crack, comfort

word count: around 150 each? imma say 1050-ish in total

warnings: reader is implied to be straight, mentioned alcohol and clubbing, excessive use of ™, excessive simping, me thinking i'm good at this 💀 (we're getting there lol)

ᴄʜᴏɪ ꜱᴇᴜɴɢᴄʜᴇᴏʟ

more of a dad than a brother

wayyy too overprotective

a kid at heart, bless him 🤭

chaotic asf

will not let you date. ever

expect him to go all out to scare potential dates away

as in, movie-level dramatic

no cooperation, will tattle to your parents

cuddle bear!!

as protective as he is, he probably introduced alcohol to you (or so he thinks)

"you are now an adult" "i've been an adult for 3 yea—" "YOU are an adult now, i will show you what alcohol is" "...cheol wtf 😃"

does not care about the fact that you've "known" alcohol for 3 years already

just know you're gonna take forever to meet his friends

gatekeeps you from them

they've known about you for a long time so they treat you normally after you pester him enough to introduce you

but they go all flirty when he's around, just to annoy him <3

and ofc you play along lol

pouty babie

ʏᴏᴏɴ ᴊᴇᴏɴɢʜᴀɴ

a menace 😃

do not trust

mischievous af

i feel like he'll be the kind of brother to take you clubbing

as in, have fun but imma be there just in case

pretends to be your bf to ward off creeps lol

"i won't tell if you won't" when it concerns your parents

helps you sneak out at night as long as he can keep full tabs on your whereabouts

your therapist

silently holds you when you cry 🥺

then does some shit to make you laugh

Always cheats in games

annoying asf

likes to whine for attention when he's bored

aka full on pouts and doe eyes and long drawn cries of your name because "i'm boreddddddd"

acts the same when you're trying to study

probably doesn't care if you're dating

but only if he approves and you're happy and safe

ʜᴏɴɢ ᴊɪꜱᴏᴏ

weirdly protective

will randomly barge in your room to tickle you

hangs out with your friends as if they're his, not yours

the Bane of Your Existence 😩

but also your comfort person

one minute he's teasing the hell out of you

and another he's holding you tight in his arms as you rant about your day

will listen to it all too

no interruptions

says shit, then goes "i love you" before you can get a word out

partner-in-crime for Everything

goody two shoes in front of your parents though 🙄

his life's goal is to make you cringe at any given moment

will cross boundaries to make it happen

starts flexing (his muscles) in front of your friends to embarrass you

willingly drives you around

teases you with the fact that every. single. one. of your friends has a crush on him

pretends to be clueless

really isn't

he just loves you a lot ok?

ᴡᴇɴ ᴊᴜɴʜᴜɪ

a goof

hyperactive, practically bounces around the house

forever giggling at everything remotely amusing thing you do

acts like a younger sibling

most adorable

roams around the house like a ghost in broad daylight

likes to yell randomly

it scares you shitless

every. single. time.

a tease

talking to a cute guy? *eyebrow raise* going on a date? *eyebrow raise* talking on the phone? *eyebrow raise*

(it was just your mother 😭)

is often found asleep on the couch

creeps your friends out with the way he sleeps 💀

strangely wise

like, you'd expect the goofball to be a himbo

always has good advice

ᴋᴡᴏɴ ꜱᴏᴏɴʏᴏᴜɴɢ

hyperactive puppy

(he would prefer tiger but when have you ever listened to him?)

you are sick of choosing tiger themed gifts for his birthday and as celebratory gifts for his endless achievements

(you're proud of him, really, but seriously?)

you're even sicker of getting tiger themed gifts for your birthdays

you can never bring yourself to throw them out though 😔

forever doing adorably weird shit

you can't tell if he likes it when you squish his cheeks anymore, you do it so often

in the mood for teasing? call him a hamster

hell bent on annoying the hell out of you

rambles non-stop when he's excited

comes to your room later to quietly thank you for listening anyway 🥺

stands behind your parents when they're scolding you

and makes faces to make you laugh

a lightweight drunk

so you're basically stuck dealing with a toddler who's constantly trying to kiss you

always goes pouty when you threaten to murder him

ᴊᴇᴏɴ ᴡᴏɴᴡᴏᴏ

on the more quieter side

often games all night

and you join him because why not

only ever yells while gaming

you guys have a very Chill dynamic

annoys you— not too often— by using the biggest, most nerdiest words ever

in casual conversations no less 🙄

secretly Fond™

you'll find cute notes everywhere in the house if you're sad or stressed

only and only you can hug him (...and maybe mingyu, who can so no to him?)

silent comfy hangouts

sometimes very very loud and very very dramatic

pretends to be cool when you introduce your bf to him

he is not cool

i'm talking stinky side eyes when you're not looking and total hostile cat behaviour 😅

just know he's scaring the poor guy away

ʟᴇᴇ ᴊɪʜᴏᴏɴ

spends more time in his studio than he does home

workaholic

worries you by never sleeping

when he does sleep though

sleepy kitty 🥺

you're gonna spend at least 15 minutes just trynna get him up

cares quietly

has his crazy moments

you're somehow taller than him? excuse me? he's older and has more testosterone, what do you mean?

gets so annoyed when they strangers treat you like his elder sister

ofc you're busy laughing at his -_-

extreme kitten mannerisms

he doesn't know though

so you and his friends have a good laugh every time he does something remotely cat-like

and ofc you have special access to his studio 😁

because he may not admit it but he's just really fond of you

so he spoils you as much as his budget allows

103 notes · View notes

thehaberdasheress · 2 months

Text

In the Studio: February 2024

This month has been a lot of boring background work, like moving my work studio from my dining room (80 sq ft) to my living room (150 sq ft). This means now there are two separate workspaces so I can bring in a helper and work without constantly bumping elbows. (Now I just have to hire a helper)

My mom has been lovely in helping me move things, stop and think about it, and decide to move them into entirely different places. Partly because I get fatigued really easily and could almost always do with a break, we always stop banging and clanging when Emily-cat comes out of the bedroom to pet her and promise we don't want to take away all her places to snooze and hide. We're just shifting them around a bit.

I also had one of those moments where I needed to create something for myself or I was going to scream. Which happens sometimes. So I grabbed a design from a 1919-1920 home decor stencil catalog I have and cut a version in removable vinyl for my wall. Here it is, 99% finished, on my newly installed makeup table (cupboard door from ReStore & intricately painted Ikea shelf brackets no one will ever see)

It's an art-nouveau dandelion, which I've never seen before and think is just really frigging cool.

And yes, I know I could try to monetize these images since they're out of copyright and I had to work to make the grainy base image into a better stencil, but like... I am le tired. I have to market so many things. SVGs on Etsy are up for all of five minutes before someone else traces your listing photo and sells it in a bundle with a bunch of other stolen art. I just want to share something small and lovely. Here you go.

This work is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0

47 notes · View notes

atsukinakae · 8 months

Note

Hey! Me again. So hear me out: platonic trans!reader (genderfluid or ftm) coming out too Kenma, tsukki, and/or bokuto (plus whoever you want ofc) as trans. Maybe they are close friends and met during middle school.

~SQ. (Ps! Have a nice night)

Hq reacts to Mn coming out to Kenma,Tsuki and Bokuto + Kiyoko

Haikyuu x ftm reader (PLATONIC)

Kenma

• At first his face was neutral,no reaction at all,still processing what you just said to him.

• Very supportive but doesn't show it infront of the others.But watches every movement of yours,to see if your feeling dysphoric.

•Like every other weekend,you two would go to his house or your house to play games, spend some time together or just study for exams.This time was on his house,you came with low energy and he could sense it.

•"Hey,should we keep on going with the game?"Your voice came out just as a whisper,he nodded in response and started the game.

•Dying again and again, couldn't even focus on the game, getting more frustrated by every minute passing.

•And he noticed,every single thing,then suddenly he got up and went to this wardrobe,"Is there something wrong?","That's what I should be asking you",he come back with your fav hoodie and gently helped you to put it on to you.

•"There's nothing wrong...",glassy eyes that once showed sparkles of happiness now are afraid,insecure.

•It has been almost an hour since you were in his arms, crying,ranting and sniffling.

•"Shhh, it's okay, you're safe,you are always safe with me","Listen to me, it's all going to be okay","You have me here Mn".

Tsukishima

•At first he had a 'no expression face',but actually deep down he was happy that you've trusted him enough to tell him

•Yes you were scared of how he will react but it instantly calmed you when he accepted of how you truly are.

•If anyone,and I really mean ANYONE refers to you with the wrong pronoums, they're fucked up.

•While you were waiting for Tsuki and Yamaguchi on the exit door,a classmate came to you and started talking of the project that the teacher gave in the morning,after a while, Tsuki approached you when he noticed that they where using the wrong name and pronoums,""Mn,his is name Mn" he said with a serious face."Whatever"your classmate mumbled under they're breath,"As I was saying d/n,the project has to be-"they were cutted off by Tsuki,"Let's go Mn,I don't want you interacting with this shitty people","Hey am talking, where are you taking her!"they yelled while Tsuki dragged you away from there.

Bokuto

•He was listening when you said it but got distracted.

•You had to repeat yourself again because he asked for it.

•Actually very acceptive,he so happy that hugs you tight.

•The members have to check if you still alive.

"Bokuto,I'm trans"

Silence,no one said anything.

"You want a cookie?"he said with mouth full of cookies.

"I-,umm yeah,thanks"

"Could repeat what you just said, please,I swear I was listening"

"I'm trans..." your voice lower than before.

Suddenly you felt some arms around your small body,now you were trapped in his arms. Giggles being heard from him and a sweet smile on his face.

"Bokuto san, please let Mn breath".Akaashi said while checking that he doesn't hurt you with his arms.

But you were okay,being safe in your best friends strong arms.

Kiyoko

•She already knew.

•Figured out a few later of knowing you

•Always uses your desired name and pronoums.

•Also always corrects people when they say the wrong name/pronoums even if they are intentionally or accidentally wrong.

"Kiyoko san,can we talk?"

"Of course,is everything alright?"

"Yeah,just wanted to tell you something..."

She nodded and let you take your time to say it.

"I'm actually trans"you lowered your head so that you wouldn't see her reaction.

"Oh I already knew that"she giggled and went back to the gym.

You were shocked and followed her asking a lot of questions.

#haikyuu x m!reader #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu x trans reader #haikyuu x ftm reader #hq x male reader #hq x ftm reader #hq x trans reader #hq x m!reader

62 notes · View notes

ditoors · 4 months

Note

Absolutely loved your lee seungmin fic!! You're a really amazing writer!💖💖 Can I please request lee seungmin ler skz?

— tickle me elmo —

info. lee! seungmin * ler! skz

warnings. this is a tickle fic, if you're uncomfortable do not read.

summary. the members are celebrating halloween night with each other and decided to dress up in fun costumes! seungmin chose to wear an elmo costume, but who knew the members would take it another way.

note. thank you so much!! seeing someone say i’m a good writer is so 🥹🥹 also im not very good at writing group tickling, so i apologize if this seems sloppy. i also ran out of ideas near the enddd, i sincerely apologize! ill try my best to write better next time 🙏

“what are you guys doing for halloween?” changbin read one of the fan’s comment before it could disappear into a million other ones. the members all looked excited once the comment was read out loud.

“we’re gonna be dressing up in costumes! unfortunately we won’t be going live though.” felix giggled as he responded to the comment.

“yup and we’ll be surprising each other, so we don’t know who’s gonna dress up as what. who knows, there might be duplicates.” chan said smiling, and the others couldn’t hide their excitement for tonight.

“i can’t wait for tonight!” hyunjin said with fleeing happiness in his voice.

hours have passed and it’s finally time for the members to reveal their own costumes that they have chosen. no one knew who was gonna be who, so of course everyone was excited!

“okay, on the count of 3 we all come out of our rooms, alright?” chan yelled as loud as he could so all the members heard him, and everyone agreed with his idea.

“1..2…3!”

the sound of the doors were heard opening and closing, and the members were all shocked about the costumes! fortunately, there was no duplicates!

“woah, jisung and seungmin are kind of matching!” felix pointed out, and the two looked at each other before smiling fondly.

“jisung you’re the cookie monster?!” seungmin asked, and the boy nodded his head with a wide smile.

“you’re elmo! my best buddy!” he ran up to seungmin and gave him a hug.

“wait…seungmin’s elmo, does that mean…” jeongin mumbled, and the others heard him.

“what are you thinking about jeongin?” hyunjin asked, and the maknae suddenly had a devious grin on his face.

“seungmin hyung is asking to be tickled! because he’s ‘tickle me elmo’!”

the elmo costume boy widened his eyes before he noticed the looks on everyone’s faces, “wait no no no! it’s not supposed to be like that guys!”

“i think he’s asking for it, am i right guys?” the oldest of them all, chan, spoke.

and of course, all the members agreed with him, which made seungmin give him a death stare.

before he could even make a run for it, minho pounced at him and pinned him down, seungmin’s eyes widened at the sudden action.

“w-wait! i seriously had no intentions for this!” seungmin shouted, but it was too late. the members were already creeping up to him.

han first started by giving a few pokes to the boy’s side, which made him jerk the opposite way of where he was getting attacked.

hyunjin however, wasted no time and went straight for seungmin’s hips, which made seungmin scream in laughter.

“wAHAHAHAIT! THAHAHAT WAHAHAS TOO FAHAHAST!”

“there’s no way he’s complaining in this situation.” changbin said while scoffing, not believing his own ears.

“WHAHAT IF I AM!?” seungmin replied through a loud laughter, and changbin stared at him before giving him a knowing look.

“oh? you’re seriously complaining? alright then, i like to see you complain about having your ribs mercilessly tickled!” he shouted over the boy’s laughter and his hands officially were at work.

“WAHAHAIT IM SOHOHORRY!”

“oh now you’re sorry?! too late!” changbin responded, continuing to attack the poor boy’s ribs.

seungmin attempted to get out of minho’s grasp, but it was merely impossible since the older was clearly more stronger than him.

jeongin started prodding and squeezing seungmin’s side on the right while han was doing the exact same on the left.

“GUHUHUYS PLEHEASE! IHIHITS TOO MUHUCH!” seungmin begged, but there was no sign of stopping anytime soon.

“you put this on yourself with this elmo costume seungminnie!” chan said, and as much as the younger tried to show a threatening look on his face, he just couldn’t since he’s currently practically forced to laugh.

“I DIDN’T MEHEHEAN TOO!”

“you should’ve known! tickle me elmo is really popular!” felix brought himself in the conversation while gently scratching at the soles of seungmin’s feet.

“PLEHEHEASE! SLOHOHOW DOHOWN!”

minho felt the boy weakening so he let him go and the tickling did eventually slow down for the puppy-like boy.

seungmin covered his face while still laughing, “thihis isn’t funny! plehehease stohohop!”

“this isn’t funny? well your face sure does say otherwise…” hyunjin responded, and smiled once he heard a small whine coming from the younger.

“don’t cover your face seungmin! i feel like the main reason we’re tickling you is to see your smile!” minho said while grabbing his wrists again.

jeongin found a certain spot near seungmin’s navel and the reaction he got was absolutely priceless.

“ahAHAHACK—!” seungmin suddenly shrieked and jeongin looked at him before a smirk started to grow on his face.

he continued to stay at that spot for a few seconds until the members realized what was happening.

“JEHEHEONGIN!” seungmin shouted in the midst of his laughter, and the youngest couldn’t take him seriously.

“yes, hyung?” jeongin replied, holding in his giggles.

“THAHAHAT’S ENOUGH!”

“jeongin don’t listen to him, it’s obvious he’s asking for more! i mean, look at him. his face is telling us that he’s enjoying this moment!” changbin said, and seungmin couldn’t even find any words to respond with. all he could do was laugh.

“I AM NOHOHOT ENJOHOYING THIHIS!” seungmin replied afterwards, and the others couldn’t help but laugh with him.

minho suddenly attacked seungmin’s armpits, and that was pretty much his last straw. his armpits were definitely his weak spot, and he couldn’t handle being tickled there for more than 5 minutes!

“AHAHA—HYUHUHUNG! PLEHEHEASE NOHOHOT THEHERE!”

minho smiled at seungmin and his reaction, “is poor seungmin too ticklish under his arms?” the older teased, and the younger frantically nodded his head without even saying another word, he was just laughing.

chan signaled the rest of the members to stop after seeing tears in seungmin’s eyes, “how are you feeling seungmin?”

“horrible. absolutely hor..ibble…” the boy responded, out of breath from laughing too much.

“next year we should do the same costumes!” hyunjin said, just to tease seungmin, of course.

“no!” he immediately responded.

the others laughed at the sudden response from the tired boy.

“okay okay, that’s enough everyone. let’s go eat now, shall we?” chan requested, and everyone started sprinting towards the kitchen.

the oldest helped seungmin up who was still on the floor, “what do you say? do you like elmo?”

“not anymore thanks to you guys.”

#kpop tickle #stray kids tickle #stray kids #skz tickle #tickle fanfic #lee! seungmin #ler! straykids #ditoors

44 notes · View notes

via-the-cryptid · 7 months

Note

I am totally in that idea. You're not the only one that wanted to see both Finn and Fionna and Marceline and Star interact with each other.

I just realized something, there might be a chance to go to a world rule by Winter king version of snow Queen.

Also didn't Marceline suck up the VK soul at the end of stake mini series?

This idea series is amazing.

this ask I’ll address in parts, since there’s a few things listed here

1. yes absolutely I was very disappointed that Marceline didn’t feature more in F&C, which is part of why I wanted to give her a bigger role in the SQ AU! I also just really think Finn and Jake would be super weirded out by the whole thing and I also want to see Finn’s reaction to a Martin who’s not terrible, not to mention Huntress Wizard and Bubblegum.

2. that wasn’t in the outline but shit I might have to put it in there now, that would be wild. like can you imagine if Betty made a Snow Simon and started pretending to be sane by offloading all her crazy onto Bubblegum? firstly it would validate ALL of PB’s concerns about the Snow Kingdom, and secondly would the real Simon still be out there somewhere? what would this alternate Snow Queen call herself? Frost Queen? oooh actually I like Frost Queen, she’s a part of the AU now. as the god of this au I hereby decree it. maybe I’ll draw her later

3. yes she DID do that. foreshadowing for the world where they all meet the Star? perhaps!

#adventure time #snow queen au #simon petrikov #betty grof #petrigrof #petrigrof role swap #marceline abadeer #marceline #fionna and cake #the winter king #the frost queen #(apparently)#answered asks

30 notes · View notes

t00fumaple · 5 months

Text

The State of Paimon

The Fontaine AC, Furina SQ, and Roses and Muskets event spoilers possibly, rant, so not really cohesive

Sorry for all the people who expected Paimon slander, that isn’t happening here. I am Paimon’s strongest defender, she is my daughter I would never say anything mean to her!

That said, I just want to kind of defend Paimon but also rant about how the writing team has wrote her recently, or perhaps that could be localization’s team fault. I would like whoever can understand what the original text was trying to get that out there.

If you guys have done Furina’s story quest, you would know how insensitive they wrote Paimon there for no reason.

(Screenshots courtesy of Streetwise Rhapsody on YT, thank you.)

Like this is really insensitive to Furina, but I can literally excuse it by the fact Paimon is like 4, she doesn’t fully understand the situation. Paimon never found out what Furina had to go through, also Paimon legit lacks the critical thinking skills to realize “ oh wow I should lay off “ without being told to do so.

In my opinion, Traveler is even worse. Even though they don’t comment on it as frequently as Paimon. They know, they’ve seen it. All the times Furina had to suffer for those hellish 500 years just to play a part. In some capacity they understood what happened to her, Paimon hasn’t. And yet, they still force her to try and act in a play when she would never feel comfortable with the fact.

Paimon was insensitive throughout the whole quest but it’s kind of weird for most of the fandom to only point fingers at her when Traveler does the exact same thing lol

Hell, Paimon even comments on it

Like I will admit, I don’t like how they portrayed her in this quest, nor the Traveler. Especially since Furina shot up to one of my favorite characters since 4.2 dropped.

I think this quest is kind of held back by the fact they had to force Furina to be put into the position of a director, which would explain why the Traveler and Paimon are so mean to her, why they wrote them like that? Who actually knows.

Though recently in the new event, Furina has bit back now and you can see that Paimon is starting to become a little kinder to her than before. Hell they even pose together. Which hopefully means that we won’t get anymore Paimon insensitive moments.

Another character I want to mention that Paimon is especially disrespectful for, and gets mentioned a lot in how Paimon is the worst and she should be banned from this character.

Wanderer, Scaramouche, Kabukimono, bro has like 20 names and yet still goes by none of them.

To be honest, I really don’t get why people bring this guy up on how Paimon shouldn’t be as rude to him as others. Which like, it makes sense

Even after he erased himself, I’m like 99% sure Paimon is still aware that he’s tried killing the Traveler multiple times.

Paimon has every right to be mean to this guy since the Traveler are the only constant in Paimon’s life. They are her whole world, they are practically her parent at this point.

I genuinely can see from Paimon’s POV that she has no reason to feel bad for Wanderer. Even in the scene where she tells him to hurry up on his remembering shit.

To be honest, hella based Paimon at that moment. Like it’s one of the worst things to do, really insensitive but I can forgive it because the Traveler was about to die protecting his ass, also mind you, she is a toddler. My only problem is that like, it feels really out of place.

Don’t get me wrong, Wanderer is great, I love him, he’s actually amazing. But it’s good to understand that Paimon has every right to be disrespectful to him, and to be honest, he would do the exact same thing to Paimon if that happened to her.

Now I will admit, these two instances of her being disrespectful is really terrible by her, and I really blame that mostly on the writing team.

I feel like it’s just weird that they seem to write her however they like? Her character hasn’t been that consistent, she can show a lot of empathy for some characters but absolutely shred other characters for no reason?

It’s sad to see since I adore Paimon, she’s amazing but it’s really tiring to see that they’ve kind of made her really annoying, when they could’ve kept her character consistent.

It’s really sad to see, and I really hope in the future they are able to just, write her better hopefully.

That’s really just all, Paimon is my beloved and its hard being a Paimon fan in this fandom since so many people dislike her 😔

I wanted to put my thoughts out there too, it’s okay if you hate Paimon!!! I can 100% understand but it’s really sad to see because most of that is because the writing is doing a terrible job at writing her.

Justice for Paimon

#it’s nice to make these little posts #I want to make more in the future #possibly like with Furina and another character I love #and why they should totally meet and be besties #genshin impact #paimon #paimon genshin impact

20 notes · View notes

nobodysdaydreams · 5 months

Text

Merry (early) Christmas, and Happy Holidays My Wonderful TMBS Fic Readers!

I finished another SOS chapter and this one is very special, so I have to give credit where credit is due. I wanted to especially thank @sophieswundergarten for activating the brain bees with the concept of Violet Hopefield being SQ’s art teacher (posts here: x, x), and everyone who responded to my post with information on Violet Hopefield’s character, especially @3584-tropical-fish, @papermillll, @mvshortcut, and @mysteriouseggsbenedict. This chapter wouldn’t have been possible without all of you so thanks guys! 🥰

Chapter 27 Summary: After running away from his father, SQ finds an understanding mentor in his art professor, Violet Hopefield. However, SQ struggles to relate to his peers and understand the effect his father’s technique has on his classmates.

Because it is the holidays, this chapter also comes with ✨spoiler meme✨ so be sure to only click the “keep reading” when you’re done:

Once again tagging everyone who originally expressed interest in the fic: @myfairkatiecat @kneeslapworthy @serial-serializednovelreader @itsgoghtime @oflightningandstars (as always: please let me know if this is annoying, because I know that while the tumblr-only people find it helpful, some people might not like or need the notification, especially when they have an AO3. And let me know if you aren't tagged, but want to be!).

Please note that I am talking of course about the situation with SQ and his roommates, NOT the other stuff. Also this was many years ago, please don’t worry about me, I’m fine now, it all worked itself out. 👍🏻 Little Bods really went through it for a while though.

#the mysterious benedict society #sos mbs #mbs sos #sos #tmbs #mysterious benedict society #mbs disney #tmbs disney #ledroptha curtain #nathaniel benedict #mbs fanfic #ld curtain #nicholas benedict #tmbs fanfic #Violet hopefield #sq pedalian #sq curtain

21 notes · View notes

builtbybrokenbells · 1 year

Text

Spitfire | vi

Rumours spread around the internet, causing turmoil like never before. In a desperate attempt to forget,y/n takes solace in the bar, making it a mission to forget him completely. Jake is left wondering if he’ll ever get a chance to explain himself. When her roommates try to do damage control, they’re left wondering if the Twitter feed and speculation is really the biggest issue, or her way of covering up her crippling fear of falling in love.

Read part five here

Read part seven here

Pairing: jake kiszka x f!reader

Word count: 7.5k

Warnings: cheating/cheating rumours, Twitter, binge drinking, unhealthy coping mechanisms, lots of angst, crying, like a 2 second mention of throwing up (very short because i hate throwing up with a violent passion), basically this whole chapter is an angsty shitshow because I live for drama, sorry if I missed any!

so obvi i had to throw in some heartbreak to offset all the fluffy happiness, cause that’s just who i am. lots of projection in this one (hey, at least I’m owning up to my flaws) but this is just an angsty mess before we get to a happy ending cause I wanted to showcase how detrimental the internet/social media can be and how bad ldr sucks 😁 as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🫶🏻 (also thank you all so much for the love on this series. im having a lot of fun writing it and it overjoys me to see that other people like it, too)

Your feet carried you to the living room, speed faster than you’d ever ran before. When you turned the corner of the hallway, your footing slipped and you had to brace yourself on the wall. Eve was sprawled on the couch. She looked to you, eyes wide with panic, scared that something bad happened. “What has got you all riled up?” She threw her phone beside her, sitting upright.

“I-I, uh, I just…” you were breathless, heart pounding in your chest as you tried to formulate your words. “The… t-the-“

“Just fucking spit it out!” She laughed, clearly understanding that your rapid approach was due to good news rather than bad.

“Okay, sorry.” You ran your hand through your hair, pushing it away from your face. “I think I’m gonna throw up.” You laughed, fanning your face with your hands. Tears were threatening to spill over, and your skin was prickling with excitement. “So I started my internship on Monday, right?”

“Yeah, I know.” She said, waiting for an explanation.

“And I met everyone in the ‘office’.” You air-quoted office, knowing you’d only interact with them over zoom meetings for the four month duration. “But I met the head of the department today, the big boss.” She gave an eager nod. “He told me that he read over my research report. He said it was one of the best he’s ever read.”

“No way!” Eve was standing now, bouncing with just as much enthusiasm.

“Yeah, but that’s not it.” You stopped her. “I mean yeah, that’s fantastic, but it’s way better than that.” You felt the tears begin to roll down your cheeks, too caught up in the situation to care. “He wants to continue on with it. He told me he thinks the idea is fantastic and worth the money. I’m not going to be working on, or following up somebody else’s research this summer. They want to work on mine.” Her eyes were wide, her previous demeanour completely frozen. After a few seconds, she exploded into a scream and engulfed you into a hug. You held on to her, wanting to yell just as badly. “Can you punch me? Just to make sure I’m not dreaming?”

She pulled back, shaking her head and wiping your tears away. “Not a dream.” She laughed, pulling you in for another embrace. “Y/n, they picked your topic from an undergraduate, not even a masters or a PhD. Do you know how huge that is?”

“I know! He told me he’s been waiting to work with me since the end of my first year. Apparently I’m the at the top of the program.” You were almost lightheaded, not being able to process what was happening.

“I’m so proud of you.” She said, taking your hands into hers. She gave them a squeeze, bringing you back to reality. “Did you tell anyone else?” You shook your head.

“No, I was going to text the sibling group chat and get it all over at once. I want to call Jake, but I’m just not sure if he’s busy or not.” You explained.

“Call him! If he’s busy, he won’t answer. I think this is way too important to wait to tell him.” She encouraged you.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna… I’ll go call him.” You breathed.

“Okay, but I’m taking you to dinner tonight to celebrate. We’ll go to The Garden, maybe get some drinks afterwards. It is Friday, after all.”

“Yeah, that sounds amazing. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You assured her.

“Good, now go call your loverboy.” She shooed you away. You jogged back to your room, letting the door fall shut behind you.

It had been almost two weeks since Jake left, meaning that your trip to Atlanta was right around the corner. Your brothers left the week prior, leaving your home quieter than you liked it. It was amazing having everyone there, but it was terrible when they all had to leave. You were adjusting, though, and knowing you were going to see Jake in a few days was really helping.

You slipped on the hoodie he’d so graciously left for you, and found the bottle of cologne, giving the front a small spritz. The smell immediately swarmed your senses, making you close your eyes in bliss. When your end of day meetings came to a close, you practically lived in his sweater. Him being gone this time was a little easier now that you had small reminders of him. You pulled your phone out, dialling his number off by heart. Your hands were vibrating as you clicked the speakerphone button. The dial tone rang a few times, but you couldn’t help but hope he’d pick up. You tapped your fingers on the wood of your desk, trying to remember if he told you he had a show or an interview that day.

“Hey, it’s Jake. Leave a message.” Your stomach sank with disappointment, but you didn’t let it last too long.

“Hey, rockstar. Big news, call me as soon as you can. Love you.” You didn’t let the voicemail linger, ending the call as soon as you finished speaking. As you stared at the screen of your phone, you realized you hadn’t heard from Jake since the night before. It was very strange of him not to send a good morning text, but you were so busy with work meetings all day you hadn’t picked up your phone at all.

You debated calling again, but decided against it. Instead, you went to your contact list and clicked on Josh’s name. You were expecting the same empty tone, but you were surprised when he answered after the first ring. “Hey, mama.” His usually happy tone was so comfortably familiar.

“Hey, Josh.” You couldn’t help but smile. Josh had rapidly become another brother to you, just the same as Sam and Danny.

“What could I have possibly done to deserve a call from such an angel?” You rolled your eyes, a laugh making its way out. Josh was a very verbal person, and extremely friendly, too. At first, you were a bit thrown off by his strong compliments, but you’d gotten over it quite quickly once you realized Jake never batted an eye about it. Clearly there was a lot of mutual trust between the two.

“Just missed your sweet voice, is all.” You joked. He let out a small chuckle.

“You’re too kind,” he said “but really, what’s up? Usually I’m the one calling you.”

“Don’t say it like that, that makes me sound like an asshole.” You replied.

“You know what I mean.” You could practically hear his eye roll through the phone.

“I know,” you assured him. “I was just calling to see if you knew where Jake was. I haven’t heard from him all day and I got some pretty big news. I called to tell him and he didn’t answer. I thought maybe you were all doing rockstar stuff, but it seems like you were waiting around for someone to call you.” You teased.

“Maybe I just drop everything to talk to you. Have you thought about that?”

“Whatever you say, Joshua.”

“To answer your question, I have no idea where he is. Today is kind of a day off, I guess. We’ve got a meeting tonight, but that’s more of us just hanging out with the managers.”

“Oh, that’s weird, then.” You said, uneasiness sprouting in your stomach.

“He could be asleep, or in music writing mode. I’ll get to the bottom of it for you.” He promised.

“Thanks, super-sleuth.” You laughed.

“What’s your big news?” Josh asked, changing the subject. You didn’t think the topic change was suspicious, more or less just Josh being nosy.

“I don’t know if Jake would forgive me if I told you first.” You were being honest. Jake wanted to be your biggest supporter, and you didn’t know if you telling Josh first would cause any issues. The last thing you wanted to do was hurt him.

“Ah, come on, mama. He didn’t answer, so it’s his loss. Besides, we’re practically the same person. Same DNA and all, you know?”

“I don’t think that makes you the same person, honey.” You giggled. “I think you just want to know.”

“Duh,” he scoffed “I won’t tell him, I promise. I’m really good with secrets.” Somehow, you weren’t sure if you believed him. But you were so excited about your accomplishment that you were itching to tell anyone who was willing to listen.

“Fine, okay, but promise you won’t say anything.”

“I won’t, I swear!” You could hear the giddiness in his voice.

“Okay, I’ll hold you to it, then.” You told him. “Basically, I started my summer internship with the biotechnology society this week. Today I met the head of the department and he told me he’s been wanting to work with me for a long time. He read my report about non-invasive blood-glucose tests and he wants to take it a step further. He thinks it’s worth the time and money.” You rushed out, feeling the excitement take over again.

“Y/n, that is fantastic!” He said. You could feel his smile in his words. One thing you adored about the four boys is that they all seemed incredibly genuine.

“Thank you, Josh. It’s super cool. Usually they only study graduate topics, but I guess he thinks I have what it takes.” You breathed, barely believing your own words.

“You absolutely have what it takes, mama, and Jake is going to be over the moon when you tell him.” You felt a smile break out on your lips.

“Thank you.” You really meant it. Jake and his brothers were always seemed so proud of you, and it made you feel so important. “I can’t wait to see you guys this weekend.”

“We’re really looking forward to it, too. Jake’s been so uptight when we practice because he wants to impress you at the show. It’s starting to get unbearable.” You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head in disbelief as if he could see you.

“I’m going to be the biggest fan there, even if he forgets how to play every song.”

“I know that, y/n. He just wants to show off for you. I, on the other hand, don’t have to practice. I already know I’ll win you over.” You rolled your eyes.

“Uh-huh,”

“Oh come on, what’s the matter with a little brotherly competition?” He joked.

“It seems more like a pissing contest.” You said. “Well, as nice as it’s been talking to you, I must go call my own brothers and tell them the news. They’ll be really upset if they find out I told you, first.”

“Like I said, my lips are sealed.” He promised. “I’m really happy for you, y/n.” His earlier tone of humour was gone, replaced with sincerity.

“Thank you, and thanks for picking up.” You said.

“As if I’d ignore you. I’ll find out what’s up with Jake and let you know. Talk soon?”

“Of course. Talk to you later, Josh.” You bid your goodbye. He hung up first, leaving you staring at the blank screen. Worry started to consume you, unsure of what Jake could be up to. The radio silence was extremely strange.

Before calling your own siblings, you decided to jump in the shower. You connected to your Bluetooth speaker, playing music softly in the background as you undressed and turned the faucet on. You climbed in, humming softly to the first song that came up on shuffle. You washed your hair and worked at getting all of the knots out. You took your time washing your body, letting the hot water sooth your stiffness from sitting in an office chair all day. You even took the time to exfoliate and shave. When you stepped out, you felt like a new person. You dried off, wrapping your hair in a towel, and throwing on an oversized t-shit and some sweatpants.

You went back to your room and threw your old clothes in your laundry basket. As you sat on the edge of your bed, your phone chimed from beside you. Your eyes fell on the screen, trying to make out who the message was from. Josh’s name was showing in the notification bar, so you picked it up to read what he said.

Twin Rockstar

Hey, checked on Jake. Don’t think he’s in his room. Will let you know when I find him :)

You typed a quick reply before clicking on your brothers contact. You figured you shouldn’t put off telling them the news any longer, and Sam would be the most likely to answer. You told him you needed him to call you ASAP, throwing your phone back on the mattress. You got up, moving to the closet and scouring through your heaps of clothes. Your hands settled on a simple red dress. Enough to look classy, but not enough to catch too much attention. You threw it on, spritzing some perfume and throwing on some deodorant. As you took your hair down to dry, you started on your makeup. You didn’t put on too much, just enough to accentuate your features.

You finished with swiping on the same lipstick you’d worn the night you met Jake. It was your favourite one before that night, but ever since it had caught his attention, it was the only one you liked to wear. Just as you were finishing up, your phone began to ring. You shuffled over, grabbing it off the mattress and accepting the video call. “Hello, Samuel.” You said, looking over his face.

“So you saw it, too?” He asked, forgoing any type of greeting. You raised an eyebrow, confused at what he could be talking about. He watched you carefully, quickly realizing that you did not want to call him for the same reason. “Oh, nothing.” He said, sheepishly. Your eyes hardened, not willing to play the game with him. He’d always done that; start a sentence or a story and try to change topics. Usually it was only when something bad happened. He hated giving bad news.

“What, Sam?” You pried, waiting for him to give in.

“Nothing, y/n. It was probably just a rumour anyway.”

“Just tell me, please.” You sighed. He shifted uncomfortably under your stare, but eventually conceded.

“I saw something. It’s probably nothing, I just thought you saw it, too, and that’s why you wanted me to call. You never send an urgent message.”

“What did you see, Sam?” Your stomach was twisting with anxiety the more the conversation went on. He let out a jumble of words that you had a hard time understanding. When you gave him a look of confusion, he rolled his eyes.

“I was doing my daily routine of stalking everyone on the internet.” He said, seeming to have trouble with how he was going to word his sentences. Leave it to Sam to spend an hour a day to catch up on everyone else’s drama. “And I saw a couple posts, a-and I think it’s just speculation and rumours,” he led into the topic as easy as he could. “But there’s a couple pictures of Jake going around. With another girl. And everybody thinks it’s a possible girlfriend.” He breathed. Your stomach dropped, but you held your expression firm, not letting a hint of emotion through.

“Oh, okay.” Was all you said. You tried to reason with yourself, wanting to believe that it was just a misunderstanding. Then, your brain immediately focused on the fact that you hadn’t heard from him all day, which was extremely unusual. That, and he hadn’t even told his brothers where he was. You were certain if Josh was lying to you, you’d be able to tell. He wasn’t very good at it. “Can you send me them?” You asked, clearing your throat to get rid of the lump that was forming.

“I’m sure it’s nothing, squirt. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.” His attempt at deflecting the impact was failing miserably.

“Just send them to me, Sam.” Your tone was becoming more angry by the second. He let out a long sigh, but did so without another word. The incoming message popped up on the top of your phone, immediately drawing your attention. You clicked on it, the aforementioned pictures unpleasantly gracing your screen. You tapped on the screenshot, zooming in a little bit to get a closer look.

There he was, unmistakably Jake, sitting at a restaurant table across from an unknown girl. There was a familiar smile on his face, one that made you sick when you thought about him giving it to another girl. You swiped through the photos, quickly finding that it was a whole Twitter chain. ‘Damn, his fans are always on top of the game’ you thought to yourself. There was pictures of them eating together, one with his hand resting on her arm, one of them walking down the street a little too close for comfort, and the last one of her wearing his jacket. You felt an indescribable feeling wash over you.

You read through the comments of fans talking about seeing it, how pretty she was, how happy he looked, and some not so nice tweets. You couldn’t help but feel a small comfort at the unsupportive statements. Your rationale was completely gone now, filled with anger at the sight. More than anything, you felt like an idiot. You fell for him so hard, but he was a boy, and a rockstar, at that. You had no idea why you believed a insignificant girl in Baltimore could tie him down. He probably had a new girl falling for him in every city he visited. Panic started to seep in, realizing that everything you were afraid seemed to be coming true. The look in his eye when he was smiling at her sent a shiver down your spine. It was so similar to how he looked at you.

There was a small part of you insisting there must be more to the story. A bigger, louder part of you didn’t care. Your trust for men and significant others was already extremely low before you met him. You’d spent a lifetime getting treated like garbage and cheated on, and even if this wasn’t the case, you weren’t sure if you even wanted to know. It was easier for you to shut down, to draw the conclusion that boys would always be boys. Although the photos weren’t a tell-all, they certainly didn’t make you feel good when you looked at them. A tiny voice in your brain was telling you that you were being irrational, and that you were doing what you always did; you were using this as a scapegoat to jump ship before you got seriously hurt. Self-destruction was a very well acquainted friend of yours, but you thought you’d left it behind a long time ago.

You took a long, shaky breath before speaking again. “I gotta go.” You mumbled, not giving Sam any time to answer. You hung up, completely forgetting about the real reason you wanted him to call you. You turned your phone on silent, throwing on an old jean jacket. You slung your purse over your shoulder, making sure you had everything you needed before you walked out of your bedroom.

The door slammed behind you with enough force to rattle the wall beside it.

As you made your way down the hallway, your jaw was clenched hard enough to made your head ache. Another classic move of yours; burying the sadness in anger. You tried to break out of it your whole life, but having four hotheaded brothers that loved to pick on you made the emotion permanent. Eve peeked her head around the corner to see what created the loud noise, but recoiled at the look on your face. You walked past her, not able to even give a glance in her direction, scared if you did you would break down. You were sure Sam would tell her, anyway. You threw a pair of shoes on and disappeared through the front door as fast as you could. You knew where you were going, and nobody was going to stop you.

You made your way down the street, eyes set forward and unwavering. The tunnel vision made it easy to ignore all of the passerby’s. By the time you made it to the front door of your favourite bar, you were positively sick with despair. Your stomach was churning and your chest was aching. You wanted nothing more than to go home and cover yourself in blankets and sleep the pain away, but you were never so willing to let a boy ruin you. You pushed through the front door with such a force that everyone’s head turned to look at you once you stepped inside. You went straight to the bar, too determined to drink to pay any mind to them. You stopped once you got in front of the bar, pulling your card out. Mike approached you, giving you a look of curiosity.

“Awful early for you to be here. Usually you only drink before 8 if something serious happened.”

“Triple whiskey sour.” You muttered, in no mood to make conversation. “And two shots of fireball.” He eyed you with concern, but pulled the bottles out, anyway. He wasn’t worried that you couldn’t handle your liquor; he was worried about why you were itching to drink so badly.

“You okay?” He asked as he slid the shot glasses towards you. You took both back to back, ignoring the burning in your chest. It was nothing compared to the ache in your heart.

“Perfectly okay, Mike.” You promised. “Never been better, actually.” He handed you the solo cup, eyes never leaving your face.

“For some reason, I don’t know if I believe you.” He said, watching you take two long drinks out of the glass.

“Quit it with the concerned act. Business is business.” You scolded, mustering a small smile to lessen the blow of the harsh words. You tapped your debit card against the machine once he pushed it towards you, taking a seat in one of the chairs. Tonight was not a dancing night, you decided. You felt your phone vibrating in your purse. It hadn’t stopped since you left the house. You were sure it was Sam, and you cared so little that you didn’t even bother taking it out to check it.

Your first drink came to an end pretty fast, and Mike, knowing you well enough, kept a steady stream of refills in front of you. By the time 9 o’clock rolled around and the bar began to get busy, you were already hammered. The anger in your body was still raging, but you were drunk enough to bury it deep under the surface. Mike had got a bit more talking out of you as the time passed, only making his concern grow more. You were very elusive as to why you were so desperate to be intoxicated, making him believe that whatever the reason was, was really bad. He’d only seen you drink like that on a few occasions, and rarely ever did you go to the bar alone.

“I think you should answer your phone, darlin’.” Mike said, eyeing your purse on the counter as your phone vibrated. As he sat with you, he took note of all the calls you were ignoring.

“You can.” You giggled, nudging the bag towards him. He sighed, reminding you of your dad when he got upset. “I’m not worried about it.” He reluctantly opened your purse and took your phone out, figuring it was better to let your friends know you were alive. You were good enough friends with Mike for him to feel comfortable enough to answer your phone for you. It definitely wouldn’t have been the first time. He tapped the screen, lighting it up to reveal the extensive list of missed calls and texts.

“Eve sent you a bunch of question marks then asked where you went. She’s called you probably a million times. Sam is very worried about you and says he’s going to fly back here if you don’t answer him. Uh, whoever ‘twin rockstar’ is called and texted a few times. Ally called. And ‘Rockstar’ called you about… fifty times.” He listed off. All you could do was laugh. ‘Fuck Jake’, you thought to yourself.

“That’s nice. Can I get another shot with my next drink?” You asked.

“Y/n, you should at least tell Eve where you are.” You played with the straw in your cup, pretending not to hear him. He gave up, sliding your phone back to where it was before. After a moment, he obliged to your request, placing both drinks in front of you. You threw the shot back, feeling someone slide into the chair next to you as you placed the glass back down. You looked over, not recognizing the boy now in your company. You weren’t sure if you were too drunk to place the face, or if you’d never met him before.

“Hey,” he smiled at you. ‘Pretty smile’ you noted.

“Hi.” You replied, not really feeling up to making conversation. You kept your eyes on your drink, not willing to look up at him again.

“What are you drinking? I’ll buy you one.” You almost laughed out loud.

“No, thanks. I’m okay.” You told him, taking a long sip from your straw to avoid any further trouble.

“Why, you have a boyfriend?” He asked. It wasn’t harsh, more of a genuine inquiry. “He must be a lucky guy.” He spoke again before you could answer. You looked over to him, an unfamiliar feeling settling under your skin. You opened your mouth to respond, but you weren’t sure what to say.

“Uh, no, I don’t.” You decided in a split second. As the words came out of your mouth, it felt like someone had punched you in the stomach. “Not anymore, so I’m just not looking for anything.” You explained, gloom casting over you again.

“Sorry to hear that. He must be real stupid to let someone as pretty as you get away.” All you could do was chuckle at his statement. When silence ensued again, he took it upon himself to fill it. “If you change your mind, come and find me.” He quickly scribbled his number down on a bar napkin and slid it your way. Your eyes fell over it, almost finding it humorous. Once he got up and walked away, you handed it to Mike after ripping it in half.

“So dark and broody broke your heart?” Mike asked, tossing the paper in the garbage.

“Don’t say it like that. Makes him sound more important than he is. You have to love someone for them to break your heart.” You explained. Mike eyed you, a knowing look on his features.

“I think you’re lying to yourself, honey.” He said, handing you another shot. He was hyper-aware of your state, wanting to recognize when he needed to cut you off. “It’s okay to get hurt. Makes us human.”

“No lies and not human.” You told him, a sweet smile on your lips.

“Whatever you say.” He shook his head, moving on to serve the next customer. You lost yourself in the music playing over the speakers, finally seeming to rid yourself of the overwhelming emotions. Your face was hot and your body felt light. Your head was swimming with words, but none of them came together to make a worthwhile statement. The intoxication had reached a point where all of your inhibitions were gone; it was a dangerous situation for someone hurting so badly. Just because you weren’t currently immersed in the hurt, didn’t mean you weren’t trying to suffocate it for good.

You walked over to the pool tables, grabbing a cue and racking the balls. You sipped at your drink, shooting aimlessly and sinking shots intermittently. After a while, a group of people joined you at your table. You had no idea who they were, or what their names were. You were sure they told you, but you were in no state to remember them. There were a few girls and two guys, and they all seemed super friendly. They were a good tool to pass the time with, or perhaps more of a distraction than anything. Either way, they were buying pitchers of drinks and sharing, and they were quite funny.

As the hour neared midnight, Mike had turned the sound system up as he usually did. You retracted your much earlier thought, realizing that dancing was the best sounding activity at the moment. One of the boys from the group took his chance, moving closer to you and dancing alongside you. Instead of recoiling, you allowed it, ready to reap the consequences later. He twirled you around, pulling you closer to him so your chest was pressed to his. You both sang the song to each other, faces dangerously close. His hand was on your hip, eyes never leaving you. You were having a good time, but couldn’t shake how wrong it felt. Sure, it was fun, but it was absolutely meaningless. You never wanted to feel something meaningless again after feeling what you had with Jake. He leaned in, attempting to catch you in a kiss, but you withdrew, suddenly feeling dirty for even letting another guy get that close to you. You were lost in thought, almost furious again knowing that Jake still had your entire heart. As bad as you wanted to rid yourself of him, you were more terrified of feeling like you weren’t his anymore, or him yours. The thought didn’t last long, because someone grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the group.

You looked to the source of the disturbance, only to be met with the fuming faces of your roommates. You took a moment to process it, blinking hard to rid yourself of the double vision. “We’ve been calling you all night.” Eve said, dangerously calm. “We didn’t know if you were dead, or if you got kidnapped, or what, until Mike called us and told us you were here.”

“Why would he-“

“Do not get mad at him for looking out for you.” She snapped. You felt a wave of nausea run through you as your face burned with heat. “I’m taking you home before you do something you’ll regret.” She pulled you towards the door, not willing to listen to any sort of explanation. When you got outside, the cool night air hit you like a million knives on your skin.

“Eve,” you mumbled. She continued walking, not listening to your warning. “M’gonna be sick.” You told her. She stopped, looking back at you. Her tough exterior faltered, now really seeing the state you were in. She pulled you back in an alleyway, gathering your hair in her hands. You braced yourself with your hand on the brick of the building, heaving until there was nothing left in your stomach. When you straightened up, there were tears in your eyes. Some from throwing up, but more from crying.

You took a step back, leaning your whole body against the wall and letting out the sob you’d been holding back all night. Ally was standing guard at the end of the side-street, making sure nobody could witness your crisis. You were consumed with the memories of the pictures you saw earlier that night, feeling a non-alcohol related sickness in your stomach. Eve dug in your purse, finding a small pack of tissues. She pulled one out and cleaned off your face as best she could before discarding it on the ground. Normally, she’d be appalled at the thought of throwing garbage on the ground. At the moment, she was willing to sacrifice her morals rather than hold on to the repulsive piece of paper.

She brushed the hair from your face, for once being completely unsure of how to help you. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d seen you so upset. “Let’s get you home, okay?” She whispered. You managed a nod through your inconsolable state. She led you back to the main road after helping you take your heels off. She kept a supportive hold around your back, making sure you didn’t stumble and fall. Ally took to the other side of you, also offering her support.

The walk was treacherous and much longer than it should have been. By the time the two girls got you through the door, you were nothing short of a mess. Eve whispered something to Ally that you didn’t quite catch. Then, Eve helped you to the couch and Ally disappeared from sight. Eve took a seat next to you, gently wiping away the tears staining your cheeks. You tried to catch your breath, feeling completely out of control. Within a few minutes, Ally had rejoined the group holding a plethora of items in her arms. She put them down on the couch, making fast work at her mission.

First she pulled out a few makeup wipes, handing them to Eve so she could rid you of the mascara running down your face. When she was done, she placed the wipes on the coffee table. Ally handed her a hair tie next. Eve turned you slightly, combing her hands through your hair and quickly braiding it. “Next parts gonna be a bit harder.” She mumbled. “Gotta stand for me, okay?” You gave a nod. She helped you to your feet, steadying you before unzipping the back of your dress and slipping the sleeves off. When it fell to your ankles, she pulled a large t-shirt over your head. “There.” She sighed. You slowly sat back down on the sofa, feeling the world spinning around you.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled, squeezing your eyelids shut. Tears were still making their way out with no sign of stopping.

“I know.” She said, thumb brushing them away as fast as they were falling. “I know you’re hurting. We all do stupid stuff when we’re hurting.”

“I told him I loved him. He said he loved me, too.” You cried, feeling the ache settle in your bones again. “He promised.” You blubbered.

“I know, honey. We’re gonna get some sleep and sober you up a bit, and we’ll fix this in the morning, okay?”

“I’m supposed to go to Atlanta next weekend.” In your drunken state, you unintentionally disregarded everything she was saying. “He said he was gonna take me around the world with him. I knew this was going to happen. I never should have opened up. I never should have let this happen.” You let out a shaky breath. “I don’t even know if he did it, or not. All I know is that it hurts. ‘nd m’so scared because I hate when people have this much power over me.” She knew you were really fucked up over this, because it was nothing like you to come out with all of your feelings so willingly. “I love him. I really love him. I’ve never felt like this before, and it just made me realize that he makes me so happy, but he has the power to take it away whenever he wants. And he’s this big rockstar who can have anybody he wants. All he has to do is say the word. He can have girls who looks like that. Why would he settle for me?”

“Hey, that is not true. Anyone who ends up with you will be the luckiest person in the world.” She scolded, not willing to accept that.

“He’s just… he’s Jake. And he’s perfect. And I adore him. A-and I’m so scared of losing him that… that I feel like I have to leave first, to spare myself from the worse hurt, later, you know?” You hiccuped. “I always do this. M’gonna ruin it for myself because m’always so fucking scared! I tried to get rid of the feeling, to get rid of him, but all of the stuff that usually works just made me think about him even more. I don’t want him to have that power over me, don’t want him to be able to flip my world upside down whenever he wants, but it just felt so good being loved by him and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forget it.” You let your head fall back into the cushion of the couch, completely defeated by how you were feeling. She quickly caught on to the fact that this whole situation may have had a lot less to do with the pictures from earlier, and much more to do with your fear of being in love.

“I know, baby.” She practically winced. She didn’t know the full story. She only knew what Sam had told her, then Jake’s incoherent babbling on the phone when he called her earlier. He was so out of his mind with worry she was surprised he didn’t jump on a plane and fly back just to make sure you were alive. Then, when she finally calmed him down enough to tell him she would make sure you were okay, Josh called and voiced his worry and defence of his brother. Eve was completely in the loop from all sides of the battle, but she had no idea what was really going on. “Ally is going to get the air mattress and we’ll all stay out here tonight. We’re not gonna leave you.” She pulled you into her, holding you close. Ally disappeared once again, off to gather more necessities. Eve rubbed your back, soothing you as you worked through your emotions. Her main concern was you, and it would always be that. Once you were asleep, she’d worry about everyone else.

The two girls banded together to pump up the large air mattress, having to take turns every now and again. Eventually, they had it set up and decorated the top with comforters and pillows. They prompted you to get in, wanting to get you to sleep as fast as possible, hoping if you got enough rest you’d feel better in the morning. They turned on a speaker, playing gentle music in the background so you could focus on something other than your hurt. It didn’t take long for the alcohol in your system to lull you to sleep, soft snores falling from your mouth.

“What the fuck happened?” Ally asked, finally winding down from the eventful night.

“I… couldn’t tell you, really. Sam sent me some suspicious pictures of Jake and another girl. Apparently Twitter thinks they’re together. And you know her, she doesn’t really believe in explanations or second chances. I guess it probably reminded her of last time. And I think she may be using it as a cop out because she’s really in love with him, and that terrifies her.”

“Do you think Jake would do that to her?” Ally asked, genuinely curious.

“He seems to be head over heels for her, but the pictures did seem kind of incriminating. He wasn’t kissing her or anything like that, but he was pretty close with her and she was wearing his jacket. Whoever she was, he looked quite enthralled in her. If i were her, I’d probably be pretty hurt, too. I don’t think she’s wrong to feel upset, especially if she didn’t know about it or who she was before she saw the pictures. I do think she should talk to him about it before running away.” Eve explained. Ally gave a nod. “Jake called me and he was super upset. Could barely understand what he was saying. He was just all over the place. Told him I’d make sure she was okay, but I didn’t ask him about it. I’m on team y/n, always. I’m not going to vouch for him, cause that will only make her mad at me.” She shrugged. “Even if he didn’t cheat on her, she’s still hurting. Maybe a bit more from her internal battles, but she’s still hurting.”

“I get that.”

“Josh called, too, trying to explain on behalf of his brother. It’s just a mess. I hope that Jake does have a good explanation, because I really like them together. But I’m not sure if she’ll listen to him, even if he does. She doesn’t listen to anyone but herself.” Eve chuckled. Ally nodded, knowing that all too well. “She already has the idea in her head, and every one of those feelings are multiplied by a thousand because she’s in love. Like, really in love. I don’t think she’s been this crazy for anyone, ever.” Just as she finished speaking, your phone began to ring in your purse again. Eve pulled it out, inspecting the screen. She sighed, rejecting the call and picking up her own phone. She dialled back the number that called you and waited for him to answer. She didn’t feel the need to completely block Jake out, but she’d be damned if she was going to let you know she was talking to him.

“Hey,” a raspy voice said from the other side of the phone.

“Hello, Jacob.” Eve said.

“Is she okay?” Her eyes looked towards you sleeping soundly on the air mattress.

“That’s a relative term, I think.” She grimaced slightly, recalling the state you had been in. “Alive, yeah, but she’s really fucked up.”

“Okay.” Jake said, clearing his throat a little bit. “I didn’t mean to hurt her.”

“That’s also quite relative. I’d like to say I know, but I can’t.”

“I didn’t cheat on her.” He said firmly. “I’m not cheating on her. I would never do that.”

“Okay.” She replied, mimicking his earlier statement.

“I absolutely know why she’s mad at me. If it was the other way around and I saw those pictures, I’d… yeah.” He trailed off.

“I can’t defend you to her, Jake. She’s been my best friend for years. I barely know you. Even if she’s overreacting, which I am absolutely not saying she is, I’m on her side.” Eve explained. “Unless she did something really fucked up, which she didn’t, and she won’t.” She added quickly, wanting to clarify that she wouldn’t blindly stand up for you in every context. “She’s a spitfire. She goes from 1 to 100 faster than anyone I’ve ever met. Yeah, she’s upset about what happened today, but I think she’s also having a hard time with being in love. She’s scared of it. Always has been. She’s so independent that it’s actually infuriating, and I believe she may be struggling with depending on someone for once. This whole thing might have been the excuse she’s been waiting for, to run away.” Eve explained. “I think maybe if she just saw the pictures, it wouldn’t have been so bad. But all of those Twitter comments were pretty hard to read, and I’m not even dating you.”

“I know. That part of fame sucks. Everyone speculates, and stories spread before we even know that it caught someone’s attention. And I get it. I understand why you and her both feel the way you do. I would feel the same if one of my brothers got hurt.” She did feel quite bad for him. She didn’t think Jake was a bad guy, but perhaps not the best at communication. In this instance, at least. “Can you at least try to get her to come to Atlanta? Just so I can talk to her. I’ll fly her back as soon as I do, if that’s what she wants. I just can’t leave things like this, and I know she’ll never answer my calls.” His words were met with a staggering silence. After a while, Eve spoke again.

“Do you swear on your life you didn’t cheat on her?” She asked, picking at a string that had frayed from the hem of her sweater.

“I promise.” He said, quite firmly.

“Cause if I get her to go Atlanta and I find out you really did fuck her over, I’ll kill you.” She replied as a matter-of-fact.

“I would never do that to her, Eve.” She believed him, for the most part. If he was lying, he was really good at it. “I love her.” He finally admitted. The sincerity in his words took her off guard.

“I’ll try, rockstar. It may not work, and I’m not going to force her, but I’ll try to get her on that plane. Only because I think you guys are cute together, and you made her so happy. She’s never had that before. It took a lot for her to give you a chance, especially after the last guy. If this ends like this, I don’t think she’ll ever recover.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t. And also, this conversation never happened. I’m not defending you, I’m not going behind her back, nothing like that. The only reason I’m doing this is because I think it’s in her best interest. Even if it’s just closure, that’s fine by me.” She warned. “Now think up a real good apology, rockstar.”

“Will do.” He said. There was no room for any more words, because she’d already hung up. Ally gave Eve a look of caution, worried that Eve was going to rock the boat even further. Eve brushed it off, standing and flicking the lights off in the living room. She climbed on the air mattress and wrapped herself up in a blanket. Ally followed suit, both of them falling asleep not long after with the hope that the morning would bring some form of clarity.

TAGLIST: @gvfpal @jakesgrapejuice @hellowgoodbye

126 notes · View notes