#i really hope its the start of some freedom AND better support

[silentalltheseyearsnomore]

Somehow got through the worst of the crisis. Didn't tell S for the first time. Told her when we saw her and she asked why we didn't reach out and we said we know she's already overwhelmed and if we were to come out the other side we needed her to still be there, we needed to protect our relationship. She got it. It sucks the situation we are both in because of complete lack of support from everywhere else. She is being our care co, advocate, therapist, attachment figure, everything at once because *no one else is* but ofc it is too much. Hence ending therapy. Because the best way she can help is to fight the system for us and get us the right support, while also staying around so we don't have another broken attachment. I know it's her doing everything she can to help us the best she can. It's just hard to not view it through the lens of so many triggers and abandonment. When the reality is she is doing ALL this, soon for free, out of care. It is just not all focused on the care littles want (cuddles lol) and more of what we need. Which is what someone who truly cares for you does.

I value her seeing the situation and knowing our therapy and relationship will be damaged if we continued the same and therefore ending therapy before the damage was too big. Like others should have done. But it still sucks that it means we have to start again with someone else AND get used to seeing her less. It sucks because she doesn't even want to see her less but her life is just so that if we don't see her at work it will be less. I know how much she is doing for us behind the scenes to fight the system and yet child parts just want the time with her. Even if logically her doing that work is what will help most. I value her so much doing this for us. It's just the fear of seeing her less is so fucking huge. From outside it may seem ridiculous because we're so lucky to have an attachment figure who wants to see us anytime she can, and the least it'll be is maybe a couple weeks.. that's kind of a lot, it's more than anyone in her personal life gets besides those she lives with, even family! We'd be fine seeing anyone else every couple weeks!! Yet going from 2 or 3 times a week to knowing she'll struggle for even once a week feels like actual death. Like, we laugh when we see the facts. But for child parts it is like literal death it feels. And I just hope it actually feels okay. We'll get used to it. We'll speak inbetween. We will be adding more support and it won't feel long at all- the isolation does add to the attachment pain, its not ALL about her. Its also about what it triggers, and about being lonely in general. We have to trust that will change. And trust we will feel connected. (Mostly I secretly hope her work thing settles so she has more time lol). Remember there is the possibility for a lot more in the future when we are better, she wants us to be involved in an amazing work thing if we get well enough. WHEN we get well enough. She WANTS us in her life. We are wanted. That is beautiful. That is everything. The rest is just noise and life in the way.

It sucks how when we are connected we feel okay but then we loss it and drown in dread. When we are together we think we can handle ending therapy, these changes, the unknown, all of it. We can feel how much she cares, we know it, we see it. She gave us the most beautiful birthday gift and held us and we talked about the fears and we both are just having to face the unknown as both our lives change. And we just have to trust. Trust that even though her life is changing, even though we have to end therapy, even though xyz, she will find time to see us. She'll still be there even if its different. Trust that this is very different to previous ex therapists (who her supervisors now want us to report and are basically blacklisting already..), because yes we are close but we are doing it healthily and slowly and boundaried. She is not being our mum, she is not promising things she cant deliver like they did. She says the hard things when needed, she knows limits. Trust that that doesn't mean she cares less. Trust she'll still fight to get us the right support. And we have to trust that the right support will actually happen, despite the huge obstacles. And we have to trust we can hold on until it comes. We have to trust so many things we can't see yet.

And when we are with her, we do trust. But when we are apart, it's just overwhelming. We can't take another broken attachment. And I do trust her not to do what others did but I also know the whole situation is so stressful and she is one human trying to do her best. And so are we. I do kind of think it may be okay with her.. she won't go. I feel less sure about getting specialised therapy funded. And I know all our stuff and needs can't fall on our relationship or it will suffer. So we need the other support to work out. And I am scared what happens in the meantime. I've never experienced either thing- enough support or an attachment figure staying in a safe and healthy way. So even if factually it looks like she's staying and it'll be okay, we still need to experience it.

Honestly I have no idea how we'll feel with this transition. I have a feeling either we'll feel like we are drowning, while S is abroad and when back will see her less even if she's doing more for us behind the scenes, and no therapy..... OR, we may feel better. Maybe we dont need our attachment wounds constantly poked at. Maybe space to breathe will help. We've done SO much work internally attachment wise. We've gone from wanting child parts dead to calling them (pet names) lovingly like B did and S now does. And we've had some experiences of them being loved and wanted outside too, even if chaotic and abusive at times. I don't even really know the next step even if I was being offered it. I don't think I ever want such a deep attachment in therapy again. Some kind of attachment sure but our main one? It just feels never endingly painful. I think we do better when it's outside of therapy. And inside of it to an extent too. Just not the main and only. So maybe getting used to S outside of therapy will somehow help us see what is needed moving forward. I so wish K was safe for us..... then we'd have two attachment figures outside of therapy, and the attachment in therapy would feel less brutal and poking with its stupid hour or so a week. But she just isn't. Maybe she never will be. There's no way to know. Right now she isn't. There's S. But she can't be *everything*. And I want more outside of therapy. It's just... we don't really ever attach that way outside. Child parts never do. So I guess we just try and build the attachments and connections outside of therapy. Settle in to what S can be. And maybe we'll see therapy differently going forward.

I honestly have no fucking idea. But I do know what we've been doing isn't sustainable. I do know I don't want my main attachment figure to be my therapist. And I don't know what that means. And it's not like you have a fucking choice in who you attach to anyway lollll who am I kidding. We don't even know what we will be offered yet. Or when. In a few weeks. Years. Its so hard to keep walking forward not knowing how anything looks. And just trusting. And trusting that S won't give up fighting for us or let go of our hand. Trust ourselves that we choose to trust her for good reason and not purely attachment. Trust ourselves to feel her hand is still there even when physically apart. Trust we can keep ourselves safe when we need to. Trust that having to do so doesn't mean we don't deserve others. Child parts deserve to be rescued and protected and kept safe. And we have to trust we can do that, and that others want to, even if they can't always. Trust ourselves that we can grieve the gap between what others can do and what we deserve/d.

[fireflysummers]

Good Omens S2

Okay so.

Excellent Job, Gaiman

Ouch???

I don't like to publicly talk about my personal life. My academic life is my professional life is my artist life. But my personal life? Not so much, outside of vignettes.

But for the past several months, I've been deconstructing a lot of personal baggage and trauma surrounding both family and religion, after leaving the cult I was raised in (mormonism).

It's terrifying to realize that the framework you built your entire self on is false. It's exhausting and painful to deconstruct that framework, to disentangle your identity in the way that won't destroy you.

And it's slow.

Nobody ever tells you how slow it is to heal. You can't control the rate you heal either. You just have to be patient with yourself, and give yourself an environment where that healing can occur safely and naturally.

Anyways.

Good Omens, and its weird tendency to be exactly what I need when I need it.

I first read Good Omens in high school. And honestly, I didn't quite get it, at the time. I only knew it was different from every other book I've ever read, one that didn't treat religion as stupid or trivial, but also one that called out the blatant hypocrisy and control tactics involved. It helped me safely challenge a status quo I hadn't even realized existed.

I first watched Good Omens partway into my Master's Degree. It was everything that I could've hoped for. I understood the book a lot better, but the TV adaptation captured my struggles with mental dissonance, trying to understand and accept the parts of my identity that I was taught God didn't want.

I watch S2 a year into my doctoral program. I'm out of the cult, and it's exhilarating and painful and scary and fun, but I can still feel the scars its hooks left when they were torn out.

I feel like S2 Aziraphale is in about the same place. He's exploring his freedom, but also trying to reorient himself. He's trying to let himself be. He's healing, but his boundaries got overridden due to circumstances out of his control (naked Gabriel). He's been pulled back into the gravity of the abusive system he tried to escape, given a carrot on a stick, and isn't yet healed or strong enough to resist.

On top of that, Aziraphale is still holding onto the hope that the problem was bad individuals, not a corrupted system. He thinks if the leadership is different, things can change. He thinks if he had more authority in the system, he could make things change. And... that's not how it works.

And Crowley. Dear Crowley.

He wants Aziraphale to be farther along in his healing than he is. Honestly, Aziraphale wants it too. But again, you cannot force this kind of healing, even when it results in a loved one making some truly stupid decisions.

Crowley sees the system for what it is. He's already deconstructed that part. But he hasn't really started addressing his own trauma. He's hinged his entire existence on Aziraphale, on being what Aziraphale needs, that he hasn't allowed himself to heal either. And Aziraphale, who is vulnerable and healing, is not able to provide the support that Crowley would need to recover safely.

Which is why them separating is probably the best thing for both of them.

It won't be permanent.

But they don't communicate, and their relationship while delightful and beautiful risks unhealthy codependency that prevents either from really growing or healing.

Anyways, what I really hope to see next season is Aziraphale's realization that the system never had his back. That the system is what's wrong, and that he can't win by playing at respectability politics or gaining a higher status within it.

I want Aziraphale to get angry.

He deserves it. He's tried so hard. He thinks he's lost Crowley over it.

I want him to feel the gut-wrenching despair of realizing how conditional and fleeting the system's version of love is, and I want it to turn into a rage.

But not a destructive rage--the sort of anger that Pratchett ascribes to himself and many of his works. The sort of anger that fueled Discworld and Good Omens. The sort that can be finessed into a weapon and a shield, that can be used to protect the people who truly love you.

For millennia we see Crowley fighting for Aziraphale.

For Season 3, I want to see Aziraphale fighting for his demon.

For him to apologize, without the expectation that Crowley will come back, but because he was wrong and Crowley needs to know it. To not expect forgiveness, not even think he deserves it.

And then for Crowley--who is trying to hide his heart eyes at seeing his avenging angel coming to save him for once, who he can tell immediately has changed, and is finally going Crowley's speed)--for Crowley to give that forgiveness, without strings attached.

[notdiabolika]

“This is not a date.”

But it sure feels like one.

| Featuring: Ayato Sakamaki & Yui Komori.

Heavily Inspired by Diabolik Lovers Anime Anthology Manga, Ayato's second chapter.

Prompt 5: First Date.

From the moment I settled for my fate to live in this huge mansion, I have been treated as prey by every single one of the vampires living in it. Rude comments were said to me every day, night after night.

The Sakamaki brothers would never show mercy. 

– I am not food! – I tried to say countless times, and no one bothered to listen.

As time passed, I lost hope of being heard and became increasingly lonely. Until one of them showed up to question me.

 – Sup, pancake? – Ayato's presence was recurring, wherever I went, I would be confronted by the red-haired vampire. – You have been sighin’ nonstop lately.

He asks this while using one of his rude nicknames, as always. However, I decided to answer him.

– It's just… it's been so long since I've had fresh air. – Another longing sigh crawls out of my nostrils, my gaze wandering to the ceiling. – The mansion is too stuffy, and I start to think about going somewhere else. Like a park or a garden outside of here. 

No one would let me leave, it was that simple. 

– A park? – With a single step, Ayato places himself right in front of me. His brow was furrowed. – For what? Do you want to have a date there or something? – His tone was blatantly mocking. 

– What? No, I never said that! 

Laughing at my face, he looks down at me. 

– You know, your reaction says it all. – He walks around me with a sneer on his lips. – Of course, no one would invite you, with that flat chest of yours. 

– My chest has nothing to do with it! 

With the little freedom I have, it would be impossible to find someone in that sense. I don't even want to have a relationship with anyone right now. 

– It has a lot to do with it. – Determined, he takes a step forward, daring me to respond. – Pan-ca-ke. 

I know that if I answered him, his response would be another snarky joke. Ayato is really cruel. 

Selfish, and an eternal child.

I just want to be listened to, without my words getting distorted or laughed at when I'm trying to say something important. Any change from him seemed too good to be possible. 

– … excuse me. – I turn my back, catching him off guard as I head to the opposite side.

I’m in no mood to deal with that kind of discussion today. Rather keep myself out of trouble until dawn, no matter how much I despise wandering in the dark. Better alone than going out with bad company, after all. 

When school starts, I sit outside at the top of the building, letting the wind intertwine my blond curls. I should have been in class, but the concentration on my studies had faded along with any remnants of determination. 

On nights like this, loneliness is my only enemy. 

It's cold out here. I need to hug my knees to get some comfort. 

I would like to look at the sky, but the stars are hidden among the clouds. The only thing left is the bright full moon.

Even if I insisted on reaching its light with my fingertips, they would never make it. Some hopes were doomed to be forgotten. 

However, I hadn't completely abandoned my dreams yet. I still thought of them.

– What are you doin’ here? – and he also remembered me.

When I lift my chin, I find the same confident boy from before seemingly bothered. His usual white shirt with three of the buttons unbuttoned, the black jacket, and one of the legs with the pants resting on his knee. 

– Nothing… – I doubt he would care if I told him. 

His eyebrows hunched as if trying to guess what I meant by that.

 – Tch. – His hand lands on my back, pulling me away from the corner. – It's annoying when you suddenly disappear. 

There was only one reason why Ayato would care about this. 

– Uhm. – My lower lip trembles a little. – You always get upset when the prey disappears, right?

The words sound defiant in my head, although the voice comes out small and sad. I stand up with the support of his hand, watching his cautious expression through my pink irises.

He seems to think for a while, not knowing how to respond when he notices the lingering melancholy in my actions.

– Your blood is simple food for vampires. – Obviously, Ayato will say that. – It would be strange for us to treat you in any other way. 

– Okay… – I don’t even want to argue, my mind is too exhausted for such a thing. 

I try to free myself from him, with little desire to use force. 

I remain in place. 

– And this, it's “okay” too? – His arms wrap around my waist, suddenly pulling me towards him. 

– Eh?!

Before I can react, the soles of my shoes leave the floor. The air currents that clash against me get more intense, and when I look down…

– A-Ayato. – I close my eyes. – Get back down, we’re going t-too high.

I forgot that vampires could fly on a full moon, and I never imagined that he would grab me and take flight like that, out of nowhere! 

– Who told you to close your eyelids? – he murmurs with annoyance. – If you’re so afraid of fallin’, all you need to do is hold on tight. 

Following his advice, I began to tighten his clothes. The muffled laugh that rises from his chest forms a strangely pleasant buzz against my skin. We ascend into the night sky. 

My sighs become lighter as I place a small part of my trust in him, despite still being scared. 

The environment around me felt swift and slow, indicating that Ayato had – finally – stopped.

His grip on my waist becomes solid, an assurance that he will continue carrying me.

His body barely emits heat, but it gives me a comforting feeling when I hold on tightly. Courage blooms in my chest, a curiosity to see what he wanted to show me so bad.

In an attempt to satisfy this anxiety, my eyelashes lift one by one.

I thought the heights would scare me, however, I was wrong. The city lights are beautiful, as bright as sun rays in the midst of shadows. A whiff of air slips away from my lungs, and my palms drag to his shoulders.

– I remember you said you weren't a big fan of the darkness once, so… – he turns his head upwards, forgetting to finish the sentence. – Oh, that's right, you wanted to see a park. 

My heart filled with happiness when I realized that he had actually paid attention to what I said. I didn't even remember sharing this information with Ayato, but it seems that this opinion of mine had been kept carefully in his thoughts.

 – There’s an amusement park. – He points with his index finger, proud of his own discovery. – Right there.

Following the direction in which his green eyes are guided, I observe a ferris wheel and other lit toys, as well as wide gates guarding the place. No group of people inside.

– It must be closed at these hours. We have to go back— 

He cuts off my speech, pressing my body against his. 

– Don't be a party pooper! You’ll be able to experience anythin’ you desire once we get there. – A playful smile forms on his lips, the idea sparkling in his pupils. – Let's go now.

– No, wait! 

WHOOSH— 

Ayato pretends not to hear as he flies away. I bury my face on his shoulder, a loud screech escaping my throat.

I hold him tightly as we cross the vast ocean of urban buildings, which resemble a bunch of figures and shadows moving around us. When we reach the blue floor, it feels like my stomach just turned from the inside out. 

– … why do that? – I take in the fresh air, releasing it with some difficulty.

This night is getting too radical for me. 

– If I had let you talk, you’d be complaining. – He murmurs, relieving the pressure of his hug. – It’s your first time skipping class, we gotta celebrate somehow! 

This, in no context, should be a reason for celebration. 

– There is no way to enjoy a closed amusement park. – A calm breeze passes by, and I break our embrace. – Someone might see it and call the police, we are trespassing after all.

He laughs. 

– As if they’re going to find us! – the confidence in his words remains unshakable. – In the worst-case scenario, I’ll grip ya and fly away. No issue.

This vampire never changes. However, I have to admit that this little adventure lifted my spirits.

There's a section with a field of artificial flowers and the park’s map behind him. Even though we're the only ones here, all the attractions listed make me want to explore more. 

– Alright. – I confirm with hesitation. – Let's try to be discreet, it would be awful if we ended up damaging something. 

In the moment’s rush of adrenaline, I almost fail to perceive the cocky vampire puffing his chest in satisfaction.

– Heh, I always knew you weren’t as prissy as you seemed. 

It surprises me that a guy like him managed to drag me into such a mess, which makes me question his true intentions. However, when I stop to question why, a very peculiar possibility comes to mind. 

It makes me stay quiet for a while until I have the courage to ask:

– Ayato… did you bring me here because you wanted to have a date with me? – It made sense. That's what he had asked me before in a teasing tone, and it could be the real reason.

I see him blink, caught off guard by the question. No response comes out of his mouth. 

Moments of stillness stretch between us. 

– What are you sayin’? – suddenly, his face starts to become serious. – Obviously, I brought you here to have a meal.

My heart shatters. 

I take a few steps back, almost bumping into a carousel horse by accident.

– Oh… 

Of course. I don't even know why I thought it would be different. 

– Come on, do your thing. – His lips form an evil smile, revealing his sharp fangs. – Close your eyes. 

I was foolish to think his intentions would be good. I let my eyelids roll over my eyes, cringing in anticipation of a bite. 

The silence becomes a thousand times more unbearable than it was a few seconds ago. 

Until he blows a puff of air on my ear.

– Ow! – I cover it with my hand, eyes opening in irritation. – Ayato, if you're going to bite me, don't hurt my hearing! 

His laughter resonates in my mind, and I, without understanding, watch him take a step back. 

– Do you really think that, among all these fun toys, I'm ‘bout to bite your neck?! – suddenly, his hand holds mine. – Dum-my. You think too highly of yourself.

I’m amazed at this development, until I feel a pull from him, getting my feet dragged to God knows where Ayato is taking me.

 – Tonight, let’s have fun. – Despite only seeing the back of his head, I'm sure Ayato is smiling. – So be quiet and don’t ask unnecessary questions.

The wind carries us around, shaking our fabrics and loose strands of hair as his fingers get tangled with mine. The touch is gentle. 

The occasional – and discreet – glance he throws in my general direction tells me…

 …this is definitely a date.

EXTRA: Silly moodboard.

‹━━━━━━━━━━━ .☆. • ☪ • .☆. ━━━━━━━━━━━›

this text was way too hard to translate from my mother language to english, I hope this is decent (help)

I rolled a d30 (a thirty sided dice) online to determine my theme, and then noticed there was an extra, bonus prompt that I forgot to count. Oh well.

May we heavily boost #diabolik otp challenge this year. I hope this oneshot wasn't too long :,)

Also, check out LeFreet, I took the rendered Ayato chibi from one of their posts.

(@yuriko-mukami) <— Follow the creator of this challenge!

[olderthannetfic]

I hope you dont mins me asking

But how would you suggest the best way to not be so anxious in fandoms these days.

It just seems like im going to be bullied out of fandom for even wanting to be in fandom. Regardless of the kind of content i like or how i like it. Its just seems like people who are in fandom dont want to themselves and not really about older or newer fans not wanting more new fans... Just.. They dont want fandom to exist at all anymore. If thta makes sense

Ive been in fandom for years but only recently bacame an adukt and now i really wanna start getting more involved.. I recently started a series oneshot fic thats gonna take alot of time.. But i havent even posted an actual chaoter yet and i am so afraid of gettijg a bunch of shit for it.

Its not meant to be anything explicit infact i made it very sfw bexause thats what i wanted.

But what of someone decides hey fuck you this sucks and now im going to make up reasons that your fic is (ableist, racist, homophobic stuff like that). And i just... I want to write.

Years ago i was in a much older fandom(transformers g1 if you can believe it) and it was so nice there. Maybe its because i was young but theres wasnt nearly so much anti bullshit that there is now especially in newer fandoms.

I know theres like block and ignore and delete comments but... I dont want to deal with it. And i probably know there isnt realky anytjing i can actually do about it

Its just so bad. I want to participate in fandom, but fandom is so terrible these days. Ive seen so many of my favorite artists fucking dissapear over being bullied for something they said years ago thats now considered "worthy of being tortured alive" for saying.

I just want it all to stop. I thought fandom would get better as it became more popular. Artists would have more freedom and stuff.

Instead im afraid im going to get bullied for a fucking teen rated gen fic with zero shipping, zero dark theme, and zero sex on the off chance someone thinks its not good enough. Suddenly its not appropriate for teenagers for some dumb reason

When i fucking was one two years ago. (like mate i was reading robot porn at ELEVEN)

Im so tired. I think the only good thing about the fandom im in is the fact the creators of the media are actually super chill and even supportive about fans selling fanworks and comms of characters and stuff

This was supoosed to be a simple question but ig im just so sick of how fandom is that i ended up ranting about it.

--

Getting more popular makes things much worse, not better.

But overall, anxiety is about you and your internal emotional state.

There was always danger of being attacked. It looks different now, but fear isn't more or less justified in the present day. The actual level of danger isn't the issue here.

[pearlywritings]

Token of appreciation event

I deeply appreciate all the love and support my followers show me, so this event I decided to dedicate to this feeling. And nothing, in my opinion, could help me better than the amazing manga “Veil”. I highly recommend it for reading and, using some of the citations, do not claim any of its contents - all rights belong to the author.

Masterlist

Rules:

character x fem!reader. Plus please remember that I prefer writing human x human, immortal x immortal etc.

1 character if you want a ~1k words drabble and up to 3 characters if you want snippets.

1-2 prompts per request (2 prompts are only for 1 character cases).

It can be written either in a canon setting or in a modern one

smut, angst, fluff - anything

will be written with the established relationship in mind, so please state specifically if you imply another kind of relationship, or you can specify, if you want the characters to be married or still dating.

you CAN change some words within the prompt. But if you send only a number - I am following the original one.

Characters I can or can try to write about: 

Albedo, Alhaitham, Capitano, Childe, Crepus, Dainsleif, Diluc, Kaeya, Ayato, Kaveh, Lyney, Neuvillette, Pierro, Thoma, Tighnari, Wriothesley, Zhongli; Blade, Gepard, Jing Yuan, Loucha, Sampo.

Your request, if ALL things are considered, will look something like this:

Character’s name(s), prompt(s) in number or in text if it’s altered, canon/modern setting, genre, relationship status (optional) + you can add some details that I am free to both utilize or decline.

But it also can be shorter if you want to give me more freedom!

I hope we all will have fun during this event ^^

Prompts:

1)

- You can’t go a minute without me, can you?

- No, i can’t go a minute without you

2) 

- …Sometimes it's hard to tell whether you're serious or just joking.

- That's actually my special skill.

3) 

- How is it?

- Really good.

- My word, is that the only thing you can say?

- It really is beautiful. Ah… with those rosy cheeks, it's stunning. Madam…

- Puh! Surely, you jest.

4) 

- What will we be doing today?

- I have an idea - sleep in.

5)

- Did we have something planned today?

- No, nothing. In fact… let's think about it in bed.

6) 

- By the way… If I like dressing up so much, it's only your fault!

7)

- Well, well… You shouldn't stay like that, a thousand steps away from me. Stay close to me, alright?

8)

- Your boots make a very strong and imposing sound.

- My boots are honored to be admired, however they also recommend you not to stray too far.

9)

- You don't say "enter!" without at least putting a bathrobe on. Or anything at all!

- I didn't want to keep you waiting.

10)

- Oh… you mean you'll write your name? On me? Oh you!

11)

- Say give me your hand? Hm… I see.

- What's going on?

- Apparently the size of your hand is the same size as your heart.

12)

- You know I like the face you make when you smell something you like.

- I'll start charging an exhibit fee then…

13)

- Are you trying to tell me I should carry you to bed?

- My room is soooo far away, at least twenty steps from here… I'm afraid you won't be able to carry me that far?

- My room is right here.

14)

- I dreamt I was touching your hair.

- How was it?

- Well… I forgot…

- Oh, the thing is… I don't let just anyone touch my hair.

15)

- Helloooooo?

- It's so nice of you to wake me up before my alarm does…

- Your alarm has the right to rest on Sundays. At least I think so…

16)

- You… You are not going to ask me how I think you look?

- What do you think?

- You're oh so handsome.

17)

- I'm often told I have a mean glare…

- Definitely not. Anywho says that has never truly looked at you.

18)

- The razor is sharp. 

- They are made to be dangerous. But I know I don't need anything sharp to make a braid.

- You'd like to braid my hair? I can show you!

19)

- I am wondering what could be so distracting that you couldn't hear my voice anymore.

- Your hands.

20)

- It… it's the first time I've heard them described that way.

- It's the first time I used such words too.

21)

- …and above all, do not let go… For any reason, understood?

- If you tell me this one more time, I will let go.

22)

- I'm being serious right here!

- If you are so worried about it, just handcuff me to you!

23)

- Ah! Your shoelace is undone! On the left…

- I can tie it on my own!

- Well… Too late, I already did it.

24)

- I'm the one keeping a spare key to your place?

- Of course. What am I supposed to do with it? I already have one.

25)

- Saying my hair looks like glass, and my hands are flowers… how romantic you are. Or are they just words from the book?

- Only if I were to write them down.

26)

- That free cigarette looks so inviting.

- Nuh-uh!

- Ooh, so scary. Is that your last one?

- There's lipstick on it… I'll have her smoke it…

27)

- Is your bed cramped when we sleep together?

- It is. In the good way.

[under-the-cherrytree]

Hii! Would it be possible to do a Tsukasa x Yandere!Reader? As like a little role swap? :D I see a lot of Yandere! Tsukasa x Reader but never Tsukasa with a yandere S/O!

Tsukasa with a Yandere s/o❣︎

Warnings: yandere themes, kidnap, murder, gore, blood, threasts???, toxic love, supporting of murder, its Tsukasa what do you expect

A/n: Hello hello!

I don't know how i feel about this but here we go-

Violence, everyone loves it for some reason-

anyways, I hope you enjoy and have a great day or night!!

- He couldn’t care if you were a yandere or not

- He finds it rather attractive actually

- Knowing the thought that you would do anything for him makes his heart spin

- He would make hint to the fact you would murder for him

- He will even ask how far you would go if he asked you

- He might just use it to his advantage, wanting to see if you will really kill someone

- And if you do, he is impressed

- He doesn’t want to think you are more powerful than him

- And if you are he better watch out

- He thinks he will be able to overpower you if you tried to kidnap him

- However, he is wrong and this leads to his downfall

- He would fall into your trap like a helpless rabbit

- And how he has to stay by your side as long as you want him too

- He is very stubborn at first but he will slowly give in

- He will try to escape

- Though that won’t get him very far

- He still loves you, oh he adores you

- He just wants his freedom

- That isn’t such a bad request, is it?

- Whether you let him go or not, he will still be a total simp for you

- He doesn’t know how to survive without you

“Tsukasa~” Your voice was heard through the halls. He looked up, his eyes filled with love and fear. You entered his room, smiling brightly when you saw him.

“Tsukasa, I miss you!” You ran to his side and sat down next to him. He stayed sitting, scratching at the floor.

“Did you miss me?” you asked, wanting to hear his voice. He only nodded his head.

“Come on love… speak to me~” You hugged him tightly but he soon winced in pain. The chains around him pulled on his cut wrists making him feel a sharp pain. His eyes shut tightly and he clenched his fists tightly, the pain being almost unbearable.

“Oh… have you been trying to escape again?” You looked down at him but he only looked away. You sighed and stood up, walking into the other room to get medical supplies. When you came back you locked the door behind you to make sure he wouldn’t escape when you bandaged him up. You sat down in front of him, unchaining hid wrists.

“You need to stop doing this… you will only get hurt..” You tell him as you start to address his wounds. He stayed silent, looking to the ground. You put alcohol on his bleeding cuts and patted it down with a cloth. He bit his bottom lip, tears in his eyes from the stinging.

“Tell me if the bandage is too tight” You tell him as you wrap the bandage around his wrist. When you thought it was tight enough, you completed it.

“I hope you feel better, Tsu…~” You embraced him in a tight hug, stroking his hair as you did so. As you broke the hug, he fell in your lap, wrapping his arms around your waist holding you close.

“Please don’t leave…” he whispered, this being the first time he spoke in the while. Your cheeks started to heat up as you caressed his cheek with a soft touch.

“I won’t leave you~” You stroked his hair as he shut his eyes. “I love you.”

You stopped stroking his hair when he said nothing back, waiting for the response you wanted.

“…I love you too”

Tagging~ @bladethrowsshade @abacatecomleitebatido

[rilli-luci]

What does Pro/Shipper Mean?

I’m only typing this cause I had to explain to a friend why the label of pro/shipper is so controversial and I like to act on the benefit of the doubt that some people may not be informed so under the cut I’m gonna explain this and why there’s so 

I’m not really gonna debate the morality of it but I am going to just explain the general gist of the term and WHY a lot of people don’t like the word and I hope it helps some people when it comes to fandom labels.

Reblog if you want but please do not come to my inbox or IMs to debate this topic. This is an information post ONLY. Not a discussion one.

Warning before you read, this post will cover Problematic Ships with triggering topics. They are mentioned for the sake of information. But I don’t want to unintentionally trigger anyone.

Going to start with the fact that this word has changed meaning over time. When I first got into tumblr rp and heard this term, it meant a completely different thing than it does now. And I think this is important cause when words change meaning and people just may not know, it can lead to a lot of misunderstandings that could be avoided if people just y’know...communicated. But that’s besides the point.

Pro/shipper at some point USED to mean one who supports a specific ship or shipping in general.

I’m currently very much so still in my Owl House hyperfixation so I will be using ships from this fandom to better explain the point. So if you are a big fan of Goldric (Hunter x Edric) then you were considered a pro/shipper for that ship. The opposite of this would be an Anti-Shipper as you did not like this ship. There was nothing generally wrong with being pro or anti as long as the ship was not problematic. Most of the discourse came from Antis sorta flooding the tags of the ships either due to their pettiness or tumblr’s shitty tagging system.

HOWEVER that is not the case now. Roughly around the 2010s (I like to think it happened somewhere around 2012-2015) the word changed its meaning.

That’s because people who supported what are called Problematic Ships.

These are your ships (with examples) that ignore canon sexualities of one or both parties of a ship (such as Hunter x Amity), are in/cest (Such as Lilith x Eda),have inappropriate age differences (such as any ship regarding a minor and an adult), those that display abusive dynamics ( such as Lilith x Belos ), etc. Ships that generally will make the average fan feel uncomfortable.

Some people who highly enjoyed problematic ships started using the term Pro/Shipper as a way to either defend their ships or justify their reasons as to why they were okay.

At this point the meaning has changed.

Pro/shipper NOW means one who supports a ship or shipping deemed problematic and/or believes in the freedom to create and consume fanworks with such elements.

Now content with toxic or abusive dynamics is more of a gray area, they’ve sorta always existed even before fandom culture became what it is today and it of course isn’t just purely tied to ships (For example, Hunter and Belos have this dynamic but are HOPEFULLY not a ship). Its all dependent on if the person making the content genuinely ships it or is making content for some other purpose that’s far less problematic and its complicated and definitely a case by case basis. But for the previous problematic examples, well there’s really no reason to ship in/cest now is there? Its just pretty gross. 

So when a person says “I’m a pro/shipper” today while there is a good chance they’re very much so meaning the first definition, it may be automatically assumed by others that they mean they are the latter. And for those other people, they may not have the energy or time to invest in meeting this person and learning what they think a pro/shipper is and if they still stand by that label if they know the connotations it presents. Its generally safer to them to just call it a lost and not interact.

So if you read this and  you still think this label is for you, then this is the sort of risk you are taking by taking on this label. Does it suck? Maybe, depending on who you are. But like I said, this post is meant to inform people and I’ve done just that.

Words have power now and days, more than people know. Especially when it comes to labels.  And when words change meaning like this one did, then I feel its important that everyone gets on the same page.

[intheticklecloset]

☕ coffee shop update ☕

This post will talk about supporting me financially, which is absolutely NOT REQUIRED to continue enjoying my content. So if it's something you have no interest in or cannot do, I completely understand, and you're welcome to skip the details. But if you want to know more, it's below the cut.

Thank you for your continued patience and support. 💖

~~~

For those who have been keeping up with my life updates, you know that I'm currently seeking a major career change due to some unfortunate workplace circumstances. I'm still on the lookout for a new position, but the search has not been going as smoothly as I'd hoped, and until I can find something secure, I need to stay where I'm at for the moment, which is taking its toll on my mental health.

As I've considered other options, doing paid commissions again came up as an idea, but I don't want to (at least right now) for a couple of reasons that I won't bore you with. The point is that, after some consideration, I've come up with something that I like better and I think may work better for everyone.

I've added the option for monthly donations on Ko-Fi, starting at $5/mo. That's $60/year, for those who don't want to math (I got you). One-time donations are still an option as well.

Think of this working like Patreon, only on Ko-Fi, because that's what we're used to, and it's a lot more practical for what I'm going for here. I'm still going to create content right here on Tumblr (what exactly that looks like idk yet; I may have to just stick with coffee shots for a while), and I'm still going to share with EVERYONE and include everyone, both financially supportive and morally supportive. Any time I want input on something, I'll ask everyone here. But if you WANT to and/or are able to, donations are open and very much appreciated.

The benefit goes both ways. For me, less stress about money makes it easier for me to find another position without having to worry about the layover time or whether I'm making exactly what I used to before (based on what I've seen so far, I won't be), and less stress about work means more creative energy, which means I can focus more time on creating content, which is what I really want to do. I've had so much fun the last couple of weekends filling coffee shot orders, and it would be so cool to be able to do that more frequently in the future.

The benefit for you is, hopefully, more content. More fics, drabbles, etc., that I will retain creative freedom over. Rather than paid commissions, where I write what others want me to, I will continue to write what I want to and share it with you more often as time goes on. When my heart is really behind a piece of writing, I feel like it shows, and I want everything I share here to be of heart-was-in-it quality. (This isn't to say I'll NEVER do commissions again; I may be open to doing them again, just under different parameters. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.)

Plus, the less I have to worry about finances, the more time I can devote not only to writing, but to discovering new things to write ABOUT, which will lead to new fandoms and shippings and whatnot that we can get excited about together.

Once again, financial support is NOT REQUIRED to continue to enjoy the content I create and share here. I'll do it regardless. The pacing may be slow and the road a bit rocky, but I'll do it. I love creating fun stories for you; it's always been my biggest passion to write, and helping me out a bit while I figure out life circumstances would be extremely helpful for me to get the ball rolling a little faster. But of course I understand not everyone can or may even want to do Ko-Fi support, and I got you. I won't be upset about it.

Worst case scenario, I'll keep doing what I've been doing and post when I can, when I have the time and mental energy to do so. I'll find a new position one way or another, and life will continue on. I fully understand that nothing may come of this. I just figured it couldn't hurt to try. It's not like it can make life circumstances worse.

Thank you all for your patience, understanding, and support as I navigate this new season of my life. I never thought a career change would be necessary, but alas, crap happens. Whether you support me through Ko-Fi or just cheering me on right here on Tumblr, I appreciate you very much. All of you good beans are the reason I decided to give this platform a second chance. Here's to making the most of it. 💖

[karatam]

Read recently (Feb 2023)

The Unbroken by C. L. Clark. Set in a fantasy world that is definitely meant to echo the way France colonized much of North Africa, this book follows a young soldier who had been stolen from her homeland and family by the colonizing Balladaire empire and raised (brainwashed basically) to be the perfect soldier, even as she's ordered to quell the rebellions of her own people. Meanwhile the princess of Balladaire wants change, but is both blocked from taking her throne and unsure of how exactly she wants to lead. A very intriguing world, interesting conflicts, and a romance that I kind of wish got more attention. My main issue was just how many times the main character flip-flopped her loyalty, sometimes more than once in a chapter, I honestly lost count. It got to the point where that choice started losing any importance, which is unfortunate since it's kind of meant to be the driving force of the book. It ended the only way it possibly could, and I'm interested on how exactly the sequel will build from that.

The Ruthless Lady's Guide to Wizardry by C.M. Waggoner. A rollicking ride set in a Victoria era where magic exists. A petty con artist and perpetually down-on-her-luck fire witch takes a job as a bodyguard to a rich lady. In the process, she accidentally gets caught up in a larger conspiracy with murder, drugs, money, and scandal. This one was a lot of fun and I really liked the main character and her narrative voice. Includes some queer romance as well.

City of Lies by Sam Hawke. Set in a city-state that sees itself as the pinnacle of freedom and art and equality, we follow siblings Jovan and Kalina as they try to navigate politics and war after their uncle is murdered, along with the ruling chancellor of the nation. In that power vacuum, they realize the religious oppression, long-standing inequity, corruption, and treason that has been festering at the core of the country they love and serve. I really liked this one, it's a slow start but I was so invested in both their POVs by the end. Lots of mystery, intrigue, and twists that I didn't see coming but made sense when I thought back on them.

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling. This is sci-fi horror, which is not usually my genre, but it came highly recommended. We follow Gyre as she enters a cave on an expedition into its unknown depths. Usually, she'd have a team of support back on the surface, but all she gets is Em, cold and calculated and definitely holding something back about the nature of the mission. Very creepy, very visceral, I found myself jumping at shadows while reading, wanting to skip ahead a few pages to reassure myself it would be alright. If you like the genre, this is a great read.

Hollow Empire by Sam Hawke. Sequel to City of Lies, picks up about 2 years later. Jovan and Kalina and the city as a whole are struggling to pick up the pieces after the events of the previous novel. Some are trying to make things right, some are turning a blind eye, and some are actively resisting any change for the better. At the largest religious celebration of the year, all hell starts to break loose with new enemies and old, trying to untangle conspiracies, determine loyalties, making and breaking friendships and romances, and trying to reckon in the legacy their ancestors left them. Even better than the first book, I read this in like 2 days. Has a queer romance which I quite liked, as it's both gentle but steeped in the politics of its world. Really hoping for a third book in the series because I'm definitely not tired of these characters yet.

[awkwardgtace]

Hide And Seek

day 9 hide. again more pre trauma streamer family time. A bit of a look at how Mira was before the incident

Hide And Seek

“Where are you?” a deep voice called. Mira covered her mouth to try and hide her breathing. She had a good hiding spot the giant wouldn’t find her this time. “There’s one of you.”

“No, no!” Rhys called. She gasped as he screamed from the giant finding him. She covered her ears to miss where he got placed after.

“Now who’s next?” The voice sent shivers down her spine. The heavy steps knocked her off her feet. She yelped a bit. “Oh, what was that?”

She tried to crawl away and hide again. She didn’t want to be found. A heavy step landed next to her hiding place making her shriek. She climbed to her feet and tried to run but a huge hand appeared to block her. Fingers pinched her sides and she was pulled out from beneath the couch. She had been positive she was safe.

“Oh, must be a rare one with such bright hair,” he said. She tried to act scared, but couldn’t stop laughing as Vitus rubbed his nose against her chest.

“No!” she shouted. Her laughter made it sound more like a shriek. She pushed against his nose and fingers until giant slender fingers slipped her from his hold.

“Another one for jail then,” Dabria laughed. Mira pouted as Vitus nodded.

“Just one little human left to find.” His smile knocked her pout away.

“Ash run, he's gonna find you!” 

“Better hurry Vitus, don’t want one of those pesky humans reaching the goal.” Her laugh made Mira start laughing again. Dabria and Vitus were fun to play with. 

Dabria dropped her into her palm and held her close. The fingers curling over her felt safe. She never understood how her parents found this dangerous. Mira was set down next to Rhys in the ‘jail’ for their game. A bunch of pillows piled up on a table with some human sized snacks and drinks. Rhys had already made himself comfortable, splayed out in the center of the pillow pile.

“You’ve been captured by the evil giants too?” he asked. She made the best serious face she could.

“Yes, Ash is our only hope. They need to reach freedom,” she answered. Dabria chuckled as she walked away. Mira grabbed one of the drinks set out for them and sat down next to Rhys.

“Where are you little human?” Vitus growled out. She smiled again.

“Your dad is great. He really plays into the scary giant thing.”

Rhys sat up using his elbows for support. He smirked at her. He had been bragging about hide and seek with his dad for weeks. She had to beg her parents to let her play with them. They thought the giants would be too much of a risk. Vitus and Dabria were so nice. They even told her to just use their names.

“I told you this would be the best hide and seek. Should have listened to me sooner,” Rhys flopped back down. She punched his arm.

“I tried,” she whined. “My parents kept saying it was too dangerous. They always say giants are dangerous and I should avoid them. They only agreed when they saw you and Ash were totally fine. They still think your parents might be dangerous.”

“I mean, I know you said you were from an all human town, but is it really that big of a deal?” 

Mira sighed before putting down her drink. She didn’t know how to explain it to him. Rhys grew up with giants around him. She thinks giants are cool. They’re so big, but stay careful for humans. Her parents always say to be cautious though. There’s no telling when a giant might change its mind. She made a face before leaning back and resting her head on Rhys.

“There you are!” Vitus called. Rhys and Mira laughed as Ash called Vitus a monster.

Dabria brought Ash over to the ‘jail’ and set them down. She smiled as Vitus walked over and hung an arm around her shoulders. Mira didn’t see how her parents could think people like this were dangerous. They laughed as Vitus crouched down to be closer to their height.

“Well Dabria, we caught all the humans now what?” he asked. Mira widened her eyes, she didn’t know there was something after they were caught.

“Hmm,” Dabria started, she crouched down to look at them too. “I think we’ll have to torture them with a movie while we make dinner.”

“I think that’s a perfect punishment for trespassing little humans.” Vitus reached out and carefully ruffled the hair on each of their heads. Mira stared up at the two in awe. Her parents always just moved on once the game was done.

Vitus stood back up and started to pick out a movie. Rhys was extremely vocal about which he wanted to watch. Once it was on both of them left and Mira tried to focus on the movie. She had seen it plenty of times already though. Her parents left her watching movies or shows on her own a lot. When she was home alone she didn’t have much of a choice.

“Hey Rhys,” she said, he hummed in response. “I don't think it’s that big of a deal, but my parents do. They always say a giant could change in a second and decide to hurt you… I don’t think it’s true…”

“Oh,” he whispered. Ash moved her over to lean on them. They wrapped an arm around her in a half hug. They knew her parents were out a lot and she got left alone. Neither wanted to tell Rhys, he thought she was lucky to have her parents there still.

Vitus frowned as the three human kids stopped talking. He walked over to watch Dabria working on human size food. He couldn’t believe her skill with such small ingredients. He sighed and she stopped to look at him. She had a knowing look in her eyes.

“It’s like we thought, isn't it?” she asked. He nodded and she went back to cooking. “It’s not that surprising, they moved here from an all human town. Most of the humans there have some horrible views on giants.”

“She doesn’t and I’m worried,” he said. “Her parents might push it so she’s scared of us.”

“No, I think we’ll be ‘not like the others’ to them. I just hope she doesn’t get like that.”

“Why do you think that?” She smiled at him.

“They called a few minutes ago to ask if Mira could stay the weekend while they handle a business trip.” Vitus’s eyes widened. He never expected that.

“Well, I guess we’ll be seeing a lot more of her than we thought. I’m a bit relieved. She seemed almost too adult when she walked in today.” Dabria nodded, she’d been almost too formal when she introduced herself. Even explaining her hair was natural since she knew they would be curious.

“I can take over for a bit if you want to tell them she’s staying for a few days.” Dabria shook her head.

“I think the giant monster who had been hunting them should talk about his prize.” 

He laughed, pushed off the counter and made his way back to the three humans. They wound up in a pile all together. He smiled seeing how happy they looked. They seemed so comfortable and relaxed. They didn’t even react as he moved to sit on the floor behind them. He grabbed the remote and paused the movie. The three looked back at him, two with pouts, one just curious.

“Mira, your parents called and said they have a business trip this weekend,” he said. She dropped her pout and seemed to get weirdly somber. “They said you could stay with us while they’re gone.”

“Really!?” she shouted. She climbed to her feet and slipped on the pillows to climb over to him. He offered her his finger for balance. She was so small next to him. Her excitement seemed to die down. He swore she looked about to cry. “I-is that really ok?”

“Of course,” he smiled and scooped her up. He brought her close for a hug, holding her over his heart. “You can come here whenever you want. You can stay over too.”

He pulled away and flattened his hand on the pillows. She climbed off and he smiled at her. He set the movie to play again and rested his folded arms on the table. He placed his head there and watched the movie with them. Rhys freed himself from the pile the three had formed and came to rest against his arms.

“Thanks dad, she doesn’t know I know her parents are gone most of the time,” he murmured. Vitus pulled his arm from under his head and ruffled Rhys’s hair. They would try and give Mira a safe place to be when her parents were gone.

[riddle-me-ri]

Heyo everybody! HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

I have another wee update before the start of the new year! (and I have to pass out in order to be up and at work at 7 am rip)

First off, I just wanted to thank you guys so much for your support and for getting me out of a tough spot this last couple of weeks. A lot of stuff was going on and getting into my head. I'm getting better at it, slowly but surely…and taking it day by day.

However, there's something I kinda wanna get off my chest, in hopes that maybe it can alleviate some of my other anxieties of posting and creating content...

I've been mulling over how to make this post for a hot minute. And I think I'm ready to finally put it out there, especially in time for the new year where I have no doubt more requests will be rolling in.

I won't highlight or detail any specific requests in my inbox I have now, but I will just say I have unfortunately had to delete several requests in my inbox that I feel I wasn't able to get to or I feel like I wasn't able to fulfill properly. 

I know some of you wonder if it may or may not be yours, I don’t really wanna share the ones I didn’t do because I don’t wanna put anyone on blast (even if its anon, I don’t want anyone to feel discouraged) plus they’ve already been deleted so I couldn’t go back and find them if I tried. 

However, here’s some…I guess hints? To what type of requests may have gotten deleted? Or like what to avoid requesting me in the future? I dunno the best way to put it rip

I do ask you guys to refrain from things involving parenthood, pregnancy, or children. 

Pregnancy scares the shit out of me. I know to many it’s a beautiful natural thing, but all I can think about is the movie Alien and having some being sucking the life force out of me. I can get the appeal in some ways, but not enough to where I feel comfortable writing about it. 

I deal with kids on a fairly regular basis (I work at a pet store that some people use as a free day care) so it's hard for me to like...get in the mindset for them. I just can’t stand kids that have had zero discipline and coming home from work to try and work on a request with kids is just really difficult for me rip

I know I wrote one thing with the Riddler's being dads, and I had fun with the dialogue and the hilarious scenario, but that's as far as I want it to go.

Another type of request I’ve been struggling with, is requests dealing with mental health. I’ve gotten a couple requests for an autistic reader and I’ve tried doing research and asking around, but I’m worried that no matter how much research I do…I won’t ever be able to fully grasp it in terms of a character that has it. I can write about anxiety and depression cause I suffer from it, but I don’t wanna risk the chance of offending someone or being way off! I’d highly advise that you guys reach out to authors that are autistic and can write your neat ideas to full proper fruition! I have no doubt they’d appreciate the opportunity!  

One more thing, please when requesting, give me everything you can think of. The more suggestions, ideas, prompts, etc. you guys give me the more I can work with. 

It doesn't have to be anything crazy specific but something other than "*insert character trope* reader and riddler" would be gratefully appreciated. 

I do appreciate the creative freedom, but it’s also really easy to feel like I’m just a content engine meant to just pump something out from the bare minimum. 

I hope this helps!

 I just wanna apologize in advance to all the people who sent me a request that got deleted. The number was just getting too much for me and I wanna make room for newer requests in the future and alleviate some of the pressure of not being able to fulfill a certain idea or prompt.

Thank you guys so much for understanding, I hope you know that I still appreciate the fact so many of you trust me with your ideas but some of them I just couldn't find the inspiration for or couldn't get in a proper headspace for and just hope you guys can understand!

I love you all! Here’s to a happy new year! See you guys soon!

[asknarashikari]

Neon: Konnichiwa Minna-san Neon desu Pikari

Neon: as I try to find myself a new home and a new life, I think its time I show my appreciation for my supporters.

Neon: So tonight, I’ll be dancing with the people I know.

Neon: I also have a special guest who will dance with me, so stay tuned.

---- later ----

Neon: Thank you for dancing with me Team Baron and Team Gaim!

Micchy: Think nothing of it, it feels good to dance on a bigger stage.

Zack: And dancing with the internet’s famous dancing damsel is our honor.

----later----

Neon: Thank you for dancing with me, Aruto-shachou.

Aruto: Think nothing of it, Neon-chan!

Aruto: It’s the least I could do after your mother and my vice president set us up.

Neon: Good thing Izu-san was with you during the whole time.

Aruto: Gave me a reason to end the meeting ,in an uncomfortable setting, early uncomfortable with.

Neon: Still, where did you learn to dance?

Aruto: Learning here and there.

Aruto: I wasn’t living in a huge mansion while my grandfather was alive after all.

Neon: Eh? Really?

Aruto: Yeah! I lived in an apartment on my own once I started high school, gave me freedom to do whatever I want so long as it doesn’t break any laws.

Neon: Lucky!

Neon: I wish my mother would have chosen that path for me as well.

Neon: Again, thanks again, Aruto Shachou!

---later----

Neon: Sakurai Keiwa-kun everyone.

Keiwa: You really did not have to do that, Neon-chan.

Neon: But I want people to know how good of a dancer you are.

Zack: *peeking from the backstage* He is a good dancer.

Keiwa: Arigato

Neon: So how did we meet, Keiwa, do you still remember?

Keiwa: Are you sure, we’re okay talking about that?

Neon: What’s the harm?

Neon: So random monster attacks happen yearly.

Keiwa: No, let’s start before that, My older sister is a fan of Neon-chan’s and I am vaguely aware of her fame.

Keiwa: I was with my sister when we were unfortunately caught in a monster attack.

Keiwa: I distracted the monster so that my sister could escape, she yelled at me for that by the way.

Neon: As she should.

Keiwa: I was running away from the monsters when Neon-chan and I bumped into each other.

Neon: We were cornered and I asked if we were dreaming.

Keiwa: But you pinched my cheeks.

Neon: It seemed appropriate *sticks out tongue*

Keiwa: And we were saved by some Kamen Riders.

Keiwa: One even asked if we were dating.

Neon: We both denied it, of course.

Neon: It was just our first meeting after all.

Keiwa: And so we began to meet regularly, usually after my job hunting escapades.

Neon: And after I lose my bodyguards.

Keiwa: We just bond over surviving together in a monster attack.

----later----

Neon: Ukiyo Ace-sama everyone.

Ace: How’s everyone doing?!

Neon: You’re really used to the spotlight huh?

Ace: I am the star of the stars of the stars after all.

Keiwa: *appears on stage* who came up with that title anyway?

Neon: I agree, its kinda redundant.

Ace: Why I came up with it jokingly and my agency just went with it.

Keiwa: No wonder.

Ace: What’s that supposed to mean?

Keiwa: It means what it means. *sticks out tongue*

----later----

Neon: and that’s all for tonight everyone.

Ace: Hope you had a good time *fox gesture* Neon: This is Neon signing out.

Wow, this is a whole ass concert XD

Unfortunately considering the circumstances, I don't think she's really thinking about her fans right now... I mean, she wants them to forget about her existing, so...

I do hope things get better for her soon... Poor Neon didn't deserve the crap she got.

[carewyncromwell]

Hi Tory!! My new favorite story of yours is the one with Tristan and Carewyn's encounter and her reuniting with Jacob! I was really touch by how you handled Tristan. He's still young and has his entire future ahead of him. The boy does have some of that toxicity from his father but he deserves much better, to be able to learn and freely discover himself outside the impregnable walls of the Cromwell Manor! I hope Tristan is able to to get his freedom from the wallow and misery he faced during the Second Wizarding War and discover his potential, becoming a productive member of society. Tristan is like that troubled kid who has made mistakes because of his upbringing, but with support and guidance from the right people, he can learn and mature into an even more wonderful individual!

Aw, thanks, Cato! I have actually really grown to like the idea of the Cromwell Clan as a whole improving after the death of Charles, and although I personally don't see Pearl, Claire, or Blaise ever completely reforming themselves, I could see at least a few of Carewyn's cousins being able to break some of those chains of abuse and toxicity -- most notably, as I've also discussed with @dat-silvers-girl, Elmer Yaxley and Tristan Cromwell, who are the youngest of the Cromwell cousins.

I've already touched on this in one of my Carewyn-centric fics, as well as in one of my fics centered on Sirius and my Marauder Era boy Ed Rosier, but Elmer ends up working in the magical music industry before he gets wrapped up with the Death Eaters against his will. After Carewyn is able to help arrange a proper defense for Elmer, he ends up avoiding further time in Azkaban in favor of community service, most of which I see being as a stagehand where he was at before, under the patronage of newly-named music producer Ed Rosier, who was once romantically involved with a reluctant Death Eater himself and so sympathizes with Elmer's position. It's largely due to Ed's mentorship and Elmer's time away from his family and with the diverse people he meets through his community service that Elmer is able to open his eyes a bit and see how much bigger the world outside the Cromwell estate is...and it's through Elmer seeking acceptance from his family after he chooses to stand by his new friends and moral stance that Claire chooses to open up a bit more to change too, all out of devotion and love for her son. Elmer's three sisters I don't see fully letting go of the old Cromwell ways or their dislike of Lane's side of the family, but they would still ultimately support their brother, however much they wouldn't "get" his new lifestyle or embrace it themselves.

In Tristan's case, I think it's more likely that he'll be able to learn the lessons Blaise just can't seem to, when it comes to earning love from the people he's so desperate to have in his life. Tristan knows at least on a subconscious level that love at its heart is sacrifice -- why else would he consistently choose to stay locked in the cage his father's kept him in and not chase his dreams, all just to make sure he doesn't break Blaise's heart and leave Blaise the way Tristan's mother did? Because of this, Tristan could start to see that the "weakness" Blaise ascribes to Carewyn for her selflessness -- a weakness that admittedly makes Blaise desperate to want to "protect" her by keeping her trapped at home like he does Tristan -- is in truth emblematic of unconditional love, like the kind Tristan feels for his father. Carewyn would do anything for her brother, just like Tristan would do anything for his father. This strange similarity makes it so that Tristan tries to engage with Carewyn more, and I think pursuing that better relationship with his cousin and confronting the idea that the way he and Carewyn feel for their family is not a weakness could really help Tristan bloom into a better person. Especially if it resulted in him finally calling his father out for his crap. I could even see Tristan one day using his position as Head of the Clan to rip down the warding enchantments and cursed gate around the Cromwell estate altogether, with the intention of stamping out the last remnants of Charles's twisted legacy.

[tonyschiavonesearring]

cm punk is a narcissist, a disgrace to pro wrestling & i hope his fans are finally getting it.

the situation between him & the elite is his fault. he attacked them. he called them out. he started the beef with colt cabana even if he didn’t directly have him blacklisted in aew. how? by being an asshole and walking out of wwe because they didn’t put him in the main event on wrestlemania instead of daniel bryan. 

this after 2 years of building the entire company around punk, letting him beat john cena, be the champ for over a year, drop the title to the rock!!! and work taker at mania. somehow this wasn’t enough for him?

punk was the hottest thing in wwe in 2011 because he was the top heel and his angle/promo about quitting went viral. it was great tv and got some fans back into wwe (many were already coming back for the rock vs john cena) but cm punk didn’t equal ratings or much fan support as a babyface. being a top heel doesn’t = being a top face. punk thought he had this austin 3:16 moment but literally the only crowd who really loved him is chicago.

you can say his babyface push wasn’t strong enough. he didn’t get to play austin like he planned. but they gave him the pg-rated champ push they gave cena and would give bryan and roman. guess what? he failed. people liked him better as a heel. why? because phil brooks is a heel irl. when he plays a nice, friendly, heroic, rule-abiding guy its insincere and fans know it.

he got to be a face throughout 2013 and it sucked even tho he got to work brock lesnar. wwe groomed him to be the #2 babyface, replacing randy orton who was having personal problems and was being the heel for daniel bryan. punk should’ve taken that position. the audacity of him walking out because he didn’t think beating triple h at wm was a good enough prize...

triple h is such a professional wrestler. here’s a guy who never wanted to be the #1 guy like rock or austin or cena. he knew his limitations and settled for the top heel or #2 babyface. he earned that respect and made a fortune by having that position for decades, through good and bad business. thats what punk could’ve had. 

instead cm punk went to ufc, looked like a fool getting demolished after years of stalling and training only to look like inept. all of pro wrestling looked bad because of him and ufc got the rub. meanwhile, the idiot cult punk convinced he was “the best in the world” were heckling wwe with “cm punk” chants and crapping on roman reigns for not being a pipebomb-cutting indie darling like dean ambrose or a chickenshit punk rock heel like seth rollins. instead roman came up the same way all the champs did: he earned it by doing tons of jobs, taking abuse from fans, learning how to have 30 minute main events with the toughest, biggest mega stars without disappointing or hurting anyone. all while he recovered from cancer and lost his brother. fuck the cm punk marks who jumped ship when aew started.

aew built itself off the cm punk cult. the bucks brought him even tho they’re the guys who are now most sick of him. but rumor is cody rhodes lost interest in aew because tony khan put so much interest in punk and other ex-wwe guys instead of using them to build aew’s original roster. now cody is a super babyface in a soaring wwe and aew is struggling because they put the company on the back of a 43 year old drama queen who was never a big draw, is unreliable, injury-prone, asks for too much money, can’t be sold as a legit tough guy & who wwe and ufc have zero interest in working with again. tony khan was a moron to make him the focus of aew. and he’s a bigger moron if he sides with punk over the 3 guys who built the company.

i’m sick of punk and i hope he gets fired and never pops up in wrestling again. he and his wife paved the way for today’s wrestlers but they did it for themselves. their egos and burying their companies, bosses and other talents made vince mcmahon afraid to give that same freedom to those who followed them. punk & aj acted like mega stars off of tiny brushes with fame. refusing to do jobs when they weren’t even established draws. yes, they were the best in-ring workers/promos/characters in their division. but for punk, not as a babyface. and aj following his example and trying to be the female cm punk made her unpopular in the locker room. wwe was cool enough to keep her as their women’s champ while her husband was trashing and suing them. and she followed him and left the company, sacrificing her own stardom for him. why? to live off his embarrassing and selfish business decisions? they’re both weak and deserve each other even tho i think she’s probably not as big a narcissist as he is. but she’s enabled him for a decade to be a total ass.

[genshinimpactlife]

Hi! Could I please get a matchup? There's absolutely no rush or pressure at all though! I totally understand if you're too busy or just not in the mood, please don't push yourself if you're not in a comfortable position to do so.

I'm an autistic, pansexual man. I'm a librarian and while I do enjoy it, my true dream is to work in the medical field, there's nothing that fascinates me more than medicine. I'm an INFP-T, enneagram 9w1. I'm "slow" and take a long while to process information, so I get along best with people who are patient. I don't look at people, speak with a "sing-song" voice and am always either wringing my hands or rocking back on my heels, constantly moving in some way. I get overstimulated very easily. My peers used to frequently refer to me as "weird" but due to my mellow nature, I was generally liked regardless.

I have short, fluffy chocolate brown hair. I cut it myself so it's always a mess, but somehow I manage to pull it off. I like to tie a tiny braid in it every now and again, both because I find the act soothing and because it provides character. I'm very pale with rosy cheeks and blue-green eyes. 5'10. I have a scar across the front of my neck and wear round glasses with a golden glasses chain, adorned with little moons and stars. I usually wear a button up and a sweater with a long coat. Also, in the Genshin universe, I'd definitely have feline ears and a tail, not unlike the Kätzlein bloodline.

I have a weak heart and am a frail, sickly person in general, so I'm not very active, although I do like to swim. I also love books...novels, poetry, the act of writing itself. I enjoy drawing and writing music, too, anything creative really. And drinking. Alongside medicine, my other obsession is astronomy, cosmology in particular. That's why, if I were studying at the Academia, I'd want to be a part of the Rtawahist Darshan.

If I had a vision, I think I would have an anemo vision. I love the wind, I think there's something indescribably beautiful about it's existence, and I value freedom deeply. My weapon of choice would be a catalyst.

While I'm very timid and awkward around strangers, my friends describe me as a bubbly, cheeky person who likes to cause mischief. "Endearingly annoying". I'm good at making people laugh, although it's almost always unintentional. I've been told that I give good advice and comfort alike, but I myself am very stubborn, once I've put my mind to something I absolutely refuse to give up, for better or for worse, and I quickly grow frustrated upon failure. My love language is physical touch, but anything that involves touching my hair is my greatest weakness.

I think that's enough. Thank you soso much for your time! But again, no pressure or rush at all, okay? I can't wait to see more of your blog! :)

I would match you with...

Barbara has always been kind to you and would try to initiate a conversation with you, even if you are a bit timid.

But when you two became friends, and your bubbly and cheeky personality came out, she started falling for you.

Barbara would 100% support your dreams of working in the medical field, doing whatever she could to help.

Barbara is a very patient woman who would have no problem with your quirks.

As a fellow autistic person, that's what I call them :)

Barbara would quickly catch on to the signs that you are getting overstimulated and adjust accordingly. Whether it be compression therapy or just going somewhere with fewer external stimuli

Besides Running errands, Barbara isn't very active either. Both of you would be average activity-wise

She would love to sing any songs that you write. She might even ask you to make one for her to perform.

Barbara doesn't know much about astronomy, but she loves listening to you talk about it and teach her.

You are very kind Anon! I actually write these when I'm taking a break from schoolwork and other things, so its no pressure at all <3 Hope you enjoy!

[smi11ng]

before therapy 01

Talk points for your first therapy session:

Opening:

Start by sharing your general feeling of misery and being overwhelmed.

Briefly mention your concerns about not knowing what type of help you need.

Symptoms:

Describe the "crushing weight" feeling when you're not distracted.

Expand on how long you've been feeling this way and if there are any specific triggers or situations that worsen it.

Be honest about your self-doubt and questioning your reasons for feeling this way.

Life Circumstances:

Briefly mention that your basic needs are met and you have some financial freedom and leisure time.

Acknowledge that your family situation is not dysfunctional.

Hopes and Concerns:

Share your initial hope that your period was the cause of your feelings and your disappointment that it hasn't improved.

Express your feeling of stagnation and desire for a better life.

Acknowledge the disconnect between your "good" life circumstances and your emotional state.

Closing:

Briefly reiterate your feeling that something is wrong and emphasize that you believe it shouldn't be that way.

Express your hope for guidance and support in understanding and improving your mental state.

Template:

Hi, I'm [your name]. I've been feeling really unhappy lately, and it's almost constant. It's like there's this heavy weight on me all the time, even when I'm not doing anything. I don't understand why I feel this way because my life is actually pretty good. I have everything I need and I even have extra time and money to do things I enjoy. My family isn't perfect, but we're not dysfunctional either. So, I don't know what's wrong with me. I thought it might just be because of my period, but it's been going on for a while now. I've been waiting for things to get better, but I feel stuck in the same place. I just know something's wrong, even though it shouldn't feel that way. I'm a little nervous about therapy, but I'm hoping it can help me understand what's going on and find ways to feel better."

1. Exploring the Loneliness:

Examining the nature of your social circle: Are your relationships mainly superficial, or do you lack genuine connections with people who share your interests and values?

Identifying potential contributors: Are there specific reasons why you feel lonely, such as recent changes in your life, past experiences, or challenges with social interactions?

Acknowledging the role of self-perception: Do you struggle with feelings of self-doubt or low self-worth that contribute to feeling unseen or unimportant?

2. Addressing the Desire for Intimacy:

Defining "intimacy" for you: What kind of connection are you looking for? This could be emotional, intellectual,spiritual, physical, or a combination.

Identifying potential avenues for intimacy: Consider exploring activities that foster connection, such as joining clubs, volunteering, taking classes, or seeking out therapy groups.

Strengthening existing relationships: Invest more time and effort in building deeper connections with individuals you care about.

3. Challenging Unhealthy Thought Patterns:

Identifying the wish for "something terrible" to happen: This desire is understandable when you're feeling desperate for attention or validation, but it's important to recognize its harmful nature.

Replacing negative thoughts with self-compassion: Instead of feeling worthless or unseen, focus on your positive qualities and remind yourself that you deserve love and connection.

Developing self-reliance: While seeking connection is important, find healthy ways to fulfill your emotional needs and build a sense of self-worth independent of external validation.