#i really liked the girl who fell beneath the sea though

[arsonistman]

I’m not really vibing with The first to die at the end, it’s so sappy and too much of a summer book for me

[heartbreakgrill]

Delicate: Vessel (Sleep Token); Part 7; "Stay here, honey."

a/n: tehe hi friends! we havent spoken much so...the tortured poets department was literally written for daisy and oliver, that's all i gotta say. i listened to i can fix him (no really i can) and guilty as sin this entire writing sesh. i missed yall tho! i feel like i havent written in 5ever. anyways enjoy friends :)

“Jesus, just pick it up.”

Oliver squinted his tired eyes at his phone screen. His body was twisted around, his neck arching to try to read the contact name that was flashing across his screen. This was the fourth time they had tried calling him. I was snug against his side, occupying the rest of his strength. I went to move away a bit, just to allow him some room to answer the phone without being contorted like a pretzel.

He felt me tug back from his hold and immediately set the phone back onto his bedside table. The screen was faced up. It was probably just me, me and my stupid naivety- but I was touched that he set it that way. My stupid belief that I meant just as much to him as he did to me made it so. Trust, love. Two feelings I had when I was with him that were now more familiar than the anger and fear I used to be consumed by.

Oliver latched his other hand, now free, around my back. His fingers splayed out around my hip, nose nuzzling into the bare crevice of my neck. I sunk into his body, an anchor sinking into cold, salty sea water.

“Eh, fuck ‘em. They’re just taking time away from me and my flower.”

I snorted at the pet name, though I secretly (not so-secretly) loved. “You’re so cringey sometimes.”

“Cringey?” He reeled his chin back, glaring down at me with those icy hazel eyes. “Girl…”

“Girl!” My mouth widened as the word so easily fell through his lips. I fought against giggles that were winning. “Who are you? Where’s Oliver?”

His laughter was deep, steady, chest rocking beneath my head, “Shh, don’t tell anyone. I’m his twin brother, Isaac. Oliver is on a top secret mission. He said you’ll always be in his heart, but he must go, fulfill his duty as a spy.”

“What the fuck,” I stated, nuzzling my head in bare chest in hopes the escape his jokes. I let out a small sigh as I fed into his humor, “You don’t have to lie to me, Isaac. I know he’s off with his secret girlfriend. Just, if you can speak to him, let him know that I won’t cry over him. I won’t miss him. Besides, his twin brother’s kinda…hot.”

“Secret girlfriend? What are you even talking about?”

Maybe I wouldn’t have noticed it if I wasn’t trained to read body language. Maybe it would’ve gone over my head if I didn’t know him, the very shell of him, so well. I could have looked past it, could’ve turned it over in my head, blurred the lines, pretended like I didn’t know the way his eyes flickered, disruption taking over his hazel pupils, as he glanced, so minutely, to his cell phone.

And, maybe it was me. Maybe I was really that insecure. Maybe I was stupid. Maybe I’d never really learn to trust him, based on the entirety of our situation.

I think Oliver noticed the flicker that tilted at the corners of my lips because his face fell, just a bit. And he rushed to cover it up, “There is no secret girlfriend, darling. I promise you that.”

And he did what he was so subconsciously genius at- he manipulated the situation, moved on from it, by wrapping me up, pressing the tip of his nose to mine, and saying, “You are my one and only, Daisy. The only one I want. Need.”

I was stupid, like I always was, and kissed him.

We continued on that morning, laying around like we always did, in the early hours of the dawn, long before anyone would wake up. They had a show later, but Oliver didn’t care about getting rest. He wanted- needed, he claimed- to be with me. I guess his idea of resting involved fucking me and kissing me and feeding me with his ownership.

He always asked the strangest questions, always reminiscent of that first night on the roof. He asked like he was trying to memorize the nocks on my bones, prophesied my future in a romantically dramatic way. It was usually when we were laying around like this, silence comfortable in our breaths.

Today’s was formed as more of a statement, curious intonation, “Tell me more about your mom.”

It took me by surprise, like he almost always did. It forced me to slow my own thoughts for a moment, articulate my memories, and find delicate words. Mostly, I wondered, “Why do you wanna know that?’’

Oliver was forced to think now, but he didn’t have much of a response, “I don’t know. I was just…wondering, I guess. I mean, you’ve told me your dad’s an ass, but you had to have gotten your beauty somewhere.”

I knew he used that compliment in a much more meaningful way than the surface level allowed it to be understood. So, I blushed, tilted my head, “Well, I could talk for hours about her. Don’t want your ears to bleed.”

“Nonsense, my love. Your voice is music to my ears.”

I nuzzled my nose to his cheek. Then, I mustered up the courage to fight my sadness and began with, “She was…literally everything to me and Sam. She…dad left when I was 5. Sam, 12. Mom was, like…30? I think? So young. She opened up her own flower shop not long before he left. But, it wasn’t nearly enough money for us to live off of. So, we, like, moved into the tiny ass apartment that was above the shop. It smelled like Chinese food because of the restaurant. And, sometimes, that mixed with the flowers. And my allergies are terrible! And, not to mention, mom smoked. So…it was rough. Sam and I shared a room, so we were together more than we should have been. We were…we were so mean to mom. We, like…took out dad’s absence on her, the fact that we had to live in this shitty apartment. Meanwhile, she was just…this ball of light. She’d stay up till 3am, in the shop, blasting Taylor Swift, arranging flowers, writing this silly little poem book she hid beneath her mattress and thought I never found and read. She picked up shifts at the Chinese restaurant literally every day. She never took a day off, not even on holidays. God, she must have been fucking miserable. But…no matter what…she was, just, like…kind. I think…no, nevermind.”

I sniffled and cut my own words off, teary eyes shutting. I didn’t want to be all sappy and emotional in front of Oliver, especially not at this time of day. As I tried to steady my breathing, Oliver’s arms tightened around me.

“Hey,” he swept a hand to my cheek, drawing my eyes to his, “Daisy…keep going. Please.”

“I think Sam really misses her. He…he’d help her out, with chores, making dinner, getting the trash cleaned up when she’d be overwhelmed and forget about it all. And at the time he resented her. But, he was a teenager. He didn’t know any better. But he beats himself up over it. I just…wish he’d be kinder to himself.”

“And what about you?” Oliver whispered once I had let a pregnant pause of silence go.

I looked up at him, struck by the question, like always, “What…about me.” My eyes drifted as my mind wandered, “I…I’d sneak downstairs, far too often, watch her from the doorway while she danced, sang, drank cheap wine, tossed flower petals all around. She’d always catch me. I was a noisy kid. But, she’d never punish me. She’d grab my little hand, drag me into the room with her, play all our favorite Taylor songs.”

Oliver cracked a joke which burst a ray of sunshine through the sadness layering itself overtop the room, “God, now I feel terrible for making fun of you.”

I punched him in the stomach, closed fist splaying out into a gentle palm on his belly. “You should. She meant a lot to me and my mom. I…she’s why Sam got into music. She had this- this beautiful voice. She’d write songs, along with her poems, and record them on this tape player.”

“Where is it now? Back at your apartment?”

“No,” I shook my head, “at hers. We never really cleaned it out. Sam still pays the lease.”

“And the flower shop?”

“A stupid fucking smoothie bar. I was really hoping one of us would take it over, run it, keep her alive. But…it’s just not feasible. Too expensive.” I’d always felt guilty for that- not investing in mom’s memory. I felt like I’d buried her back in my hometown and sealed shut whatever conscious thoughts I had of her in her grave with her rotting body.

It was just too much. She gave us everything and the world failed her, killed her. Every ounce of light that had been in her eyes was completely spoiled by the time the cancer had taken over.

The thought made me shutter. Oliver noticed and brushed a soothing hand through my hairline. “We don’t have to talk about it anymore.”

“No, no,” I tapped his stomach, “we should. I never really…never really mention her to anyone. This is nice.”

Oliver kissed my temple sweetly, “I agree. So, tell me about these late night dance parties you’d have.”

And, so, we spent the next few hours talking about my mom. Her smile, the inky flowers she had wrapped around her elbow, the way she’d let me stand on her toes while we waltzed across the shop.

We talked and talked. I cried and Oliver wiped my tears. He told me he’d give Taylor Swift another try.

And I found myself falling further.

Then, it was suddenly nearing 8am, when I knew for sure my brother’s alarm would be going off. So, we finished quickly with whatever we’d been doing. Then, Oliver helped me get dressed, which took much longer than it should’ve with two people pulling one person’s shirt over her head. It was because he stuck my head through, then dipped his head to my stomach, tracing my abdomen with wet kisses.

I giggled and shrunk away from the ticklish feeling. He laughed and chased me with his strong hands, encasing my hips with his splayed fingers. I tried pushing his touch away, writhing like a worm, but he was able to plant more kisses onto my skin.

Then his phone started ringing again.

Our movements paused. I slowly pulled the shirt the rest of the way down, meeting his eyes as my vision was cleared from that blockage. His hands moved, passively, to his sides. His body language, that distant, distracted look in my eyes burned.

“Oliver,” I accidentally whispered, then, “just answer it.”

He knew. He knew it was a challenge, a probe at the situation. He knew I was testing him. And, if he failed, if he refused to pick up the phone and answer the call, I’d run out.

I think that- losing me, watching me walk away- was just something he could not deal with right now. So, he made up some excuse while slinking over to the phone, “Probably just someone from the label. Or a stupid spam caller. No big deal.”

I was still facing away from him, still small, shrunken in on myself, when I said, to no one but the air, “Please.”

He didn’t hear me. “Hello?”

I turned around to face him, watching the muscles on his face carefully, paying attention to how he reacted to whoever was on the line. After a moment, he pressed the speaker button, and held the screen towards my vision.

“Spam,” Oliver scrunched his nose as he hung up.

Intuition, maybe jealousy, nibbled at my skin like some flesh-eating piranha. I gave one shake of my head, easily falling back into the casual, comfortable air that was routine between us. I smiled, a joke on my lips to push us past the awkwardness, “So, what kind of top secret mission is Oliver on? Drugs? Or…war?”

“Oh, all of the above!” He dramatically replied.

“Well, you tell Oliver that I need to be getting back to my own bed,” I tapped his chest, awaiting him to let his arms loose.

But, he squeezed tighter, even wrapping his occupied hand around me, “No! Please! Stay!”

“Won’t you ever get tired of me taking up space in your bed?” I giggled at his hair, tickling my neck.

He hummed a rejection, “Never. This is, like, our own secret sanctuary. Here, in this room, we can be whoever we want.”

I focused on his eyes, touching my nose to his. Then, he kissed me before mindlessly reaching behind himself to set his phone back up.

Face down.

I felt like throwing up.

The feeling was worse when I was alone, leaving his apartment like I had just signed an NDA. I tried my hardest not to overthink things, but considering our precarious relationship, this was a very difficult thing to do.

Somewhat luckily, Oliver had been normal the rest of our time together, easy-going, non-suspicious. That’s how someone who didn’t have a secret girlfriend should act. So, why couldn’t I be satisfied with that?

(Why did he place his phone face down? Why had the look in his eyes told me something different, something worse-?)

It would have made so much sense to find out that he did, in fact, have a girlfriend. After all, he’d been telling me all summer how unavailable he was. This would make so much more sense than the mindless, kind of shitty excuses he had for not being able to commit to me. Was it, then, my fault for getting involved with him? For fucking a taken man? Perhaps I’d pushed myself onto him, forcing the situation. No, no, it couldn’t have been. After all, he’d sought me out numerous times.

And, if this were the case, I was supposed to then end things? As soon as possible? Find her social media, send a fucking hey girly text message, throw myself off of a bridge in the process?

The way he kissed me when I left, the way he whispered, “I’ll miss you. You should come to the show tonight. My shining star. You’d make it all worth it. Until then, beautiful,” against my cheek, his eyelashes fluttering against my skin- there was no way I was the side piece. He was too invested in me.

Maybe she wasn’t real. Maybe he didn’t have a girlfriend. No, really- he just couldn’t have a girlfriend. It felt impossible. He was too…too caring, too gentle with me. He treated me so delicately it…just-

“Shit! Sorry!”

I had not been watching where I was going once I left Oliver’s room, which was extremely irresponsible of me. Anyone of our friends, my brother for Christ’s sake, could be walking these halls, on their way to visit the very person’s I’d just vacated. It was worse this week because Oliver’s room was on a different floor than everyone else’s. I had no way of excusing myself if I was caught up here. All I could do was be careful and hide when I heard someone familiar.

Yet, again- I was fucking stupid. I was careless. Mindless.

And I had run right into Adam.

“Daisy!” He looked up from his phone, still safe in his clutches because I’d only knocked into his left shoulder. “Shit, sorry. I’m a clutz.”

I forced out a chuckle, trying to seem chill, like I hadn’t just been having sex- 3 times- by his best friend, boss, lead singer of his band, my brother’s best friend.

“Oh, hey, Adam! No worries! I have plenty of bruises to prove I’m even more of a mess. What’re you up to?”

If I could gain control over the situation, be the one to ask the questions first, maybe then I could worm my way out of it without being exposed.

Then, a distant, deadly memory blared through my skull like a freight train. Last week, backstage. Adam, telling me where Oliver was, encouraging me to go to him. A knowing smile.

Fuck. This hole was deeper than I could ever crawl out of. Maybe he- maybe…maybe. Maybe he forgot-

“Daz…” he knew. He knew. Adam knew. He tilted his head, flicked his brows, gave a smile that suggested I just give up the facade already.

Before he could go on, I interrupted him, “Listen- just…please, just…no lectures, okay? I can handle myself. I know you guys all think Oliver’s this, like, bad person. But, he’s not. And, like- even if he is, I can handle it. I got it. I don’t need to be told what to do or warned or treated like a child. I- Oliver’s…it’s, just…you guys don’t know, okay? We have…I know it seems, like shitty, to you, probably. But…it’s really good. We have fun and, and we like each other…and that’s all that matters. Your opinions don't matter.”

As I went on, Adam’s face contorted into one of confusion, shock. Like he wasn’t computing the information I was messily throwing his way. “Daz, I…are you guys not just hooking up? I thought- I thought you were just fucking?” He let out a breathy chuckle, one of slight uncomfortability.

“It’s…yeah, like…I can see why you might think that, but…we have feelings for each other. And we’re not together or anything, but…we’re…we’re working on it.” For insisting that I didn’t want to be lectured like a child, I sure was speaking like one, shrinking in on myself, fiddling with my fingers all shy.

“So, please,” I held my hands up all defensive, like he’d lurch forward and attack me or something.

But, Adam simply sighed. He pocketed his phone, crossed his arms, eyeing me like some art exhibit. I didn’t know what he was going to say and, based on the silence he gave me, I didn’t really want to. He was calculating his response. He was probably going to fucking lecture me.

“Daisy, I…” aaand, here we go. It was me and Max in the elevator, all over again. It was Sasha, across from me at the breakfast table.

“I’m not gonna tell you what to do. That’s just not my place, no matter how much you mean to all of us, how much I think of you like, fuck, like a little sister. You are an adult. You can make your own decisions, dude.”

I breathed out the air I was holding. It was a relief, a sentiment I needed to hear. I didn’t care if I was being stupid- I just wished people would listen to me for once and let me do what I wanted.

“But.”

I shut my eyes, a bit tighter, longer than a blink took, in an attempt to ground the anger that was growing in my fingertips. “But, what?” My words were short, scornful.

“But,” Adam sighed again, “I just want you to be happy. I’ve watched you, all summer, try to prove yourself. To Sasha, to Max, to me. To your brother, especially. And, worst of all, Oliver.”

“It makes me so disappointed to see somebody like you have such little self worth. To see you dilute yourself for others. You are…so kind. So beautiful. So pointed and smart and sure of yourself. But, you hate it. You hate that you’re like that. You want to turn yourself into some version of you that just doesn’t fit. Some girl who’s edgy, some girl who’s laid back and doesn’t care what happens. That’s just not you, Daisy. You are intense. And that’s good! You’re passionate, you know what you want. You just…you need to believe you’re worth those wants. Stop doubting your abilities to make it happen. Stop doubting that you deserve it. Just grab it.”

I hadn’t expected to be so humbled. His words were…truer than any cheesy line any therapist had sold to me for $200. It knocked the wind out of me, forcing me to take a step back, literally. I guarded myself from the rush of the tornado, an arm wrapped over my stomach, one nervously rubbing my neck.

What the fuck was I supposed to say to that?

“I’m…sorry,” I whispered in response. It was all I could think to say.

“Don’t say sorry to me,” Adam touched my shoulder, “say it to yourself. You deserve the entire world. And I hope you accept that soon. This shit with Oliver will suck the life out of you.”

All I could think to do next was toss my arms around his shoulders, clutching him to my body like a warm blanket. He hugged me back, just as tight.

After only a few moments, we pulled apart. Neither of us said anything else. Adam simply touched my head, lovingly offering me this brotherly smile, before continuing his way down the hall.

I finally made my way to the elevator, one singular thought on my mind: my own self worth.

Adam had been so shockingly correct. I…

I knew it, too. I’d known it this whole time, only making myself and thought smaller in order to make room for Oliver. I couldn’t keep doing that. I needed to prioritize my own worth while loving him.

Loving him.

I needed to…

We couldn’t keep going like this.

I loved him.

And, from the way he held me, kissed me…the lyrical remedies he spoke to me…he loved me.

He loves me.

I’d confront him about this intuitive feeling.

Tonight.

–

“And this one I got when we were in Australia last year. I had this idea of getting ink everytime we hit a new city. But it got kind of expensive. Plus, we’re always so busy now that it’s, like, do I wanna eat or get a tattoo?”

“Get a tattoo, obviously,” Sam scoffed from the couch, a hint of tease within his tone. He scrolled mindlessly on his phone, barely a part of the conversation, just a nuisance, really.

Ronnie met my eyes and rolled her gaze, “Anyways-“

I giggled at the interaction before returning my line of sight to her arm. She pointed upon another piece of art inked onto her skin, diving into the backstory for that specific moment in time. Though it looked, to any passerby, that she was simply splattered with random images, doodles, animals, symbols- there was meaning to each and every piece on her body.

Tonight’s show had been postponed until tomorrow due to the monstrous thunderstorm that knocked out the power on that side of the city. With half the town closed down and plenty of free time now on our hands, Ronnie, Sam, and I found ourselves in our hotel room. We had been laying around for the majority of the afternoon, random topics on our minds.

I was killing time until I could chase Oliver down in his room, make my big stupid love confession.

Having admired Ronnie’s tattoos for a while, I was glad to finally have some extra time to ask her about all of them. It was always nice to get to talk to her, especially this in-depth, about most anything. She was intelligent and, frankly, hilarious.

She finished telling me the story about the horseshoe around her elbow. Then, before she continued down her left arm, she paused, another thought having intruded her concentration, “Daz.”

I tilted my head in recognition of my name, encouraging her to go on. She gave a little grin, like she had some sort of coy idea floating around in her head, “You don’t have any tattoos? Right?”

I shook my head. “Not yet. I definitely want some. Honestly, I get a little nervous,” I sheepishly admitted to what was holding me back.

Ronnie’s expression positively grew. I understood, based on the context clues and the way she peered over at me, what she was getting at now.

“Half the city is out of power,” I raised my brows at her. I wasn’t opposed to the idea- I, myself, even had a little smile itching at my lips. I was just…a little scared, to be honest. I hated needles, like any average person did. Plus, the idea of something so permanent on my skin terrified me. What would I even get?

“I know a guy. He’d come to us.”

“I don’t know what I’d get! I can’t do last minute things like this. I’ll regret it forever,” I giggled, though what I was saying was true.

Ronnie sat up, grasping my hands in hers. She clutched on, begging from her knees on the bed beside me, “That’s the best way to get a tattoo. Get something stupid, something you don’t even know if you like, so you can regret it and hate it until you finally decide to love it! Plus, what a memory we’ll make, Daz! We’ve barely gotten to do anything together this summer, yet you’ve become like a sister to me. We have to do it!”

Sam came out of the bathroom, face half-covered in shaving cream, razor dangling between his fingertips. He met my gaze as I turned my head towards him, a relaxed, pleased look on his brows. “Daz…”

“Sam..” I returned his tone, awaiting his criticism, his claims of me being too good-two-shoes to follow through.

His brows rose more, “Daz! Come on! You have to!”

“Sam, really? I thought you of all people would hate this idea! You really think I should do it?” I was shocked, to say the least. Where was his chidness? His disapproval? The daunting argument always between us?

Nowhere to be found. It was like character development, magically morphing itself before my eyes.

“You have to! You said yourself, this summer is supposed to be about letting go, having fun, being dumb. So far, I haven’t seen you let go and be dumb at all. So, you have to check those off your list! What better way to do that than by getting an impulsive tattoo?” He pointed.

If only he knew just how dumb I’d been this entire time.

I think he’d have killed me if he found out even just a shred of the truth.

He was right, anyway. What I thought was letting go, not caring- it wasn’t. And I knew that now. It was exactly what Adam had been telling me.

Oh, well. Sam would soon know the truth, once Oliver and I talked through the relationship. I’d deal with that hill after the mountain.

Everything between me and Oliver was out of my control- yet, I was clutching to the situation with white knuckles.

The idea of a tattoo was a distraction, a shred of proof, to myself, that I could control something. That I could genuinely let go of fate for a moment or two.

Besides, I’d always hear that tattoo therapy was the best kind of way to get through shit.

“Fuck it.”

So, there I sat, still in my pajamas, fuzzy socks on my feet, on the edge of my hotel bed, arm propped up on Ronnie’s friend Frank’s stand he’d brought with him.

I didn’t know what I was getting. Ronnie convinced me to let her pick something out, but I only let her do so if Sam had approved it first. The giddy expression on his face and the squeeze around my shoulders that he gave me signaled that it was a good pick.

My knee was bouncing. Anxiety that I more than expected filtered through my system like a poison. I steadied my breathing, focused on the fidget ring I wore on my left hand. Frank was setting everything up on this collapsible tablet he’d unpacked from this wagon he stepped into the room with. Ronnie and Sam talked his ear off, laughing over old memories they all shared. I didn’t even know my brother knew this guy, but I guess he had this entire life I didn’t know about in the first place.

I kept to myself, fit with the quiet introduction I offered and the stress that bled off of my skin in droplets of sweat.

more pre tattoo shit

“You love it?” Ronnie stood behind me in the mirror,

cutest poolside

“What the fuck!” Max bounded through the door. He had a Sleep Token bucket hat on his hair and I nearly snorted at how goofy it looked on his head.

But, any tease I wanted to prod him with was curbed as he brought his complaints further into the hotel room. He spotted me after looking over the rest of the habitants. His offended expression didn’t lessen, though, like I thought it would once he fell into his usual routine of laughter and flirts. Instead, when he approached me, towering over my lounged sprawl across my bed, he noticed the black ink pooling beneath the dermal-wrap on my forearm. His brows shot up underneath the rim of the bucket hat that I was beginning to grow just a little jealous of.

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t gotten into the boys’ music ever since the show. But I’d never admit that to any of them. Especially not my brother, who would’ve acted like the snarkiest prick because of his incessant need to be right, even though he was usually quite wrong.

“No fucking way!” Max climbed onto the bed beside me, crawling across the messy sheets by his knees. He stopped beside me and grasped my wrist in his hands.

The pull gently lurched me forward, forcing me to sit up. I dropped my phone to the bed beside me as Max dipped his head low, examining my new tattoo. I giggled at his wonderment.

“You got a tattoo! Without me! What the fuck! Daz, I’m hurt!” Max pouted, meeting my eyes with the puppy dog expression sinking in his brown ones.

Adam, Cyrus, and Oliver had shuffled into the room. The former two latched onto the tattooist’s conversation with my brother and Ronnie. They started bouncing ideas off of him as quick as one could blink. I wondered where they thought they could fit more ink on their already crowded skin.

Meanwhile, Oliver wasn’t being shy with how obvious he was, peering towards Max and I like we were a museum attraction. But, I was probably the only one to notice how his gaze first latched onto Max’s fingers, gripping my arm. Then, he moved his attention to my tattoo, trying to make out its shape from the distant angle at which he stood.

I felt it now, more than ever, since I’d confirmed the feelings in my gut and let them rise to the surface. Just looking at him, I knew it…I loved him so fucking much.

Though Oliver had averted his expression, his point of view, I knew what that first glance had been. I knew that burn in his gaze, the sickening claim in his pupils. Jealousy. So sickly sweet and insecure.

Suddenly self aware, if only because of that strange understanding I had of him, I slipped my hand from Max’s. I pulled my knees in front of my chest which expanded the distance between us. Though the movement was light, Max noticed it like noticed his own breaths.

His words stuttered for a moment, fading away as the proof settled in the room, “How’d you deci- decide….on…” He filtered his look from my face then over his shoulder, at Oliver. I had peered at the latter for a moment too long, a gaze which was easily noticed by my friend.

“On it,” Max’s tone fell off. Oliver didn’t meet his eye, his gaze latched onto my tattoo still. What had been an observational moment for Oliver turned into an avoidance of Max’s confrontation.

I was seeing through the smog now, the rose colored glasses just a bit dimmer than they had been before. And Oliver looked…he looked ashamed. Ashamed that Max was finding out, or ashamed that he had been with me? I would soon find out.

Max glanced back at me. I followed the curves on the sheets with a distanced glaze behind my lids, barren all the same. Then, Max looked to his friend again.

He waited for someone to say something. But neither of us would wave a white flag, nor would we confess to the guilty sin. My plan had been to tell Oliver how I felt, then tell everyone if I needed to.

And I didn’t really want to. Especially not Max. I felt like I’d betrayed his trust.

Max sighed, sitting up a bit straighter. He dropped a gaped, “Oh,” before pulling himself off of the bed, becoming a part of everyone else’s momentum.

My body paused, Oliver and I tangled in the poison ivy on the cream colored wallpaper behind me. He didn’t look at me, he didn’t breath, he didn’t do anything. He just stood there, anxiety bleeding off his healed scars like me.

I hadn’t expected him to jump onto the bed, proclaim his love for me, and tell the judgemental town folk that they just didn’t understand Romeo and Juliet. But, something other than his quiet treason would have been everything to my jittery frame.

I would have appreciated it if he had, at least, told Max to forget about it. If he would have shoveled some excuse off the tip of his tongue, defended me, us, the stupid love affair we thought was getting us somewhere.

But he didn’t.

He just fucking stood there, like he always did.

It made the confidence Id just built up waver a bit.

I was too anxious to really do anything, either. I couldn’t find the nerve to stand on my own two feet, let alone pull Max aside and try to excuse our indiscretions. The room was suffocating as the stress further settled in.

Max knew. Max knew.

He knew.

The cat would tear itself out of the bag any day now if I couldn’t get it under control today.

It was only a matter of a ticking time bomb. When would the seconds run out? When would the explosion shatter my skull?

I thought about running out of the room, tossing myself off the balcony.

But before I could find the strength to get my footing on the carpet of the hotel room floor, someone was saying my name. Someone was dragging me into a conversation, turning the room’s energy onto me and Oliver’s sad, pathetic, bubble of shame, anxiety, and ruthless obsession.

I snapped out of my fragile little frame like the chill girl that I was and answered the question Sam had asked;

“Do you remember mom’s joke? About the flowers?”

I rubbed my dried lips together until they morphed easily into a sweet smile. The anxiety was pushed back down, like it always was, as I played my old, now forgotten role, “Which one? She had that book behind the counter. She harassed customers with it. Said she’d been a comedian in an alternate timeline, but I don’t think so.”

Sam rolled his eyes gleefully. The room shared a laugh at the thought of some eclectic woman, chasing customers out of her flower shop with a thrifted joke book before her eyes. I remember one time she tripped over a pot and nearly fell onto the concrete floor, already sprinkled with petals and cut-off flower stems. She caught herself, but fell to her knees with laughter. Sam rolled his eyes from behind the counter, where he’d been doing homework.

But, I could see myself, 10, braided plaits in my hair, scurrying over from my seat at the window. I abandoned my book, something I never did, to bask in my mom’s joyous laughter, something I missed more than air these days.

I wonder what Oliver thought of this story, now knowing what he knew. I wanted to look for him, for a smile. But I kept staring straight, at my brother.

“I know, but it was, like- it was the one about the photos and the camera. Something, like…” he racked his brain, concentration on his blond brows. “Helping..plants?”

“Helping the plant photosynthesize!” I straightened up as the punchline lurched from the depths of my memories.

Sam and I laughed, louder than the others possibly could, as we shared a sacred vision, as blurry as my eyes, as fleeting as the smell of our mom’s perfume. She loved that joke.

I could do with a little bit of her humor, now more than ever.

The things she’d say, if she could see me now…

Regardless, I think she’d have liked Oliver.

“Well, don’t bother telling the joke,” Ronnie snickered, patting Sam’s shoulder.

I noticed the intensity of his bone, from just the longer of her fingers on his clothed-skin. But he easily hid that before it became obvious. I recognized that flinch…But my brain was too busy to really memorize the interaction, let alone evaluate it.

“You spoiled it!” Ronnie drew another laugh from the crowd.

The joking continued, though the topic moved away from our mom. My thoughts lingered on her, as Adam moved to the tattoo station, the artist having found a spare spot on his shoulder to put some symbol I couldn’t make out.

My attention turned to my arm, to the burning ink settling its way into the layers of my derma. Two thin flowers, stems rooted in nothing but my pink skin, no soil in sight, just the garden of my body. The petals shaped out the delicate curve of the pair of daisies, my mom’s initials written out to the left of the small bouquet.

I looked up when I felt someone’s gaze on my face. It was Sam, watching me admiring my tattoo with this awestruck way that only a brother who loved his sister could appear.

For the first time in a very long time, I felt the urge to break the distance between us. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him tightly against me. He didn’t hesitate to embrace me, even tighter. When he pulled apart, he pressed a kiss to my hairline.

“I love you, Sam ham.”

He punched my shoulder.

I was so scared to tell him about Oliver, though I was now realizing it would have to happen eventually. Adam’s advice- unsolicited, sure- had given me so much clarity. I was running, so much, so far, on broken ankles. Running from the truth, from myself.

I couldn’t anymore.

I went to say something else, but a phone started ringing in the room somewhere. It wouldn’t have been too halting if, when I passively looked over my shoulder, it hadn’t been Oliver’s cell.

He tugged it from his pocket, curiously reading the contact across the screen. As always, he denied the call and stuck it back in his pocket. He’d told me before that he thought it rude to answer it in front of others. Yet, as soon as he put it away, it began ringing again.

He went to deny it, again, when Cy called out a tease from his seat on the couch. “Dude, just go outside and answer it. Could be someone important.”

“It’s not,” Oliver muttered, denying it.

It was ringing. Again.

“Your mom?” Sam inquired, brows furrowed.

I knew Oliver’s mom didn’t call often, a small detail he’d told me once in a fleeting conversation about his family, a set of people he didn’t really identify himself with if only because of the distance between them all.

So, when she did call, he’d always take it. Couldn’t be her, but I couldn’t vocalize this knowledge.

Oliver shook his head, confirming my suspicion. Everyone else that I knew he spoke to was in this room.

Spam, probably.

Oliver denied the call. It was ringing before he could hide it away, shut it off, hell- throw it out the window.

Oliver huffed, loudly. Sam snickered, then, a knowing chuckle that told me he knew something I didn’t.

“Ooo,” Sam took a few steps towards his friend, who was still seated on the couch. He peered over Oliver’s shoulder, who quickly hid the phone. “That tells me all I need to know.”

“Shut up, dude,” Oliver’s eyes rolled over mine, shortly, quickly, ashamedly.

This was, really, where things did start to fall apart, if I had to pick a singular moment in time and stamp it.

This was it. The end of it all. My demise.

Our fate finally crawling from our throats.

Where I thought I had control, where I thought I knew exactly how to handle the situation, cure our disease…

There were cells multiplying beneath our pale skin.

Max, sat on the couch now, stood to his feet with a sense of urgency. He met my eyes as I glanced at him, right before things clicked in my head, right before Sam opened his mouth. It was like he could see the future, his intuition screeching like a siren. Once the bomb dropped, I noticed the panic in Max’s eyes and looked back to my brother, towards Oliver, who gazed at me again, as fleeting as that final look was.

“Ah, it’s your little girlfriend. Knew you two would get back together. How is Fiona these days? Still annoying as ever?” Sam seemed amused by the moment.

He was so unaware of the drama layered just underneath the careless air he easily existed in, so unaware of the panic in my body as I fled from the room. I made no attempt to make myself seem casual or fucking chill.

Max didn’t hesitate to follow me. He was on my heels, hot as the summer air just outside of the windows.

But, I ignored him as he called out my name.

The air in my lungs was burning, like I was going up in flames from the inside out. Maybe it was that pain, or maybe it was the choking tears flooding down my cheeks, but- my vision was blurring. I was dizzy. Short-lived muscle memory is the only thing that got me to the elevator doors. But, I couldn’t find the button. I slammed my fingers against the wall, only feeling the dry scratch of the decorative paper beneath my prints.

My lips wobbled like a child’s, blubbers that were supposed to be sobs flustering out from my tongue. “Where is it? Where the fuck is it?” I whispered to myself, pointer finger numb from how harshly I was jabbing the wall.

My harbors had gone up in flames. I was floating in deep, deathly waters with nowhere to anchor. Until- Max’s voice finally caught up with me. One gentle hand on the dip of my back, one carefully wrapping its fingers around my wrist.

I couldn’t resist, not that I really wanted to, as his towering, homely frame took me in, cradled me like the child I needed to be in this moment.

The elevator finally beeped, the doors opening like another set of warm, homely arms. Max guided us inside and peeled one of his hands away from me to press the button for the second floor.

I half-expected Oliver to chase us down, to lodge his body between the doors, grab me from Max’s arms. I wanted him to chase me out into the rain, flag down a taxi, meet me at the airport like some cheesy rom-com scene.

But, he didn’t.

In fact, he didn’t say anything to me for three whole fucking days.

[words-etched-in-her-skin]

Ahem.. Christmas smut with a hot shark lady, anyone? 👀 Wrote this as a Christmas gift for my dearest @demonofpuns ❤️Pirate Captain Sal AU with about 3.5k words of almost pure smut 😂I do hope some of you will enjoy! 😌 ***

Your heart was beating harder than it ever had. So hard you could feel it in your throat - thumping there loudly. Beating with anticipation, with excitement. The pink flush across your cheeks growing even deeper as you tied the final knot around Sal’s wrist and leaned back to look at her.

Merry Christmas to me.

She was gorgeous. Stunning. A nautical masterpiece literally at your mercy.

Well, sort of. You knew she could easily break her restraints if she really wanted to. But she had requested this as her gift - asked it of you - given you her trust as a Captain and you her first mate. And you weren't going to let her down.

Not that you had any desire to anyways. While, yes, you were predominantly a bottom - a brat, as it was - the chance to have Sal in such a position, under you, was one you couldn't imagine ever saying no to. Especially with how hard she already was. With how absolutely divine she looked. Her arms bound carefully above her head with the chiseled landscape of her laid out before you.

Why, it was enough to make you wet. And it did. Already soaked straight through your panties that you still wore when you sauntered back over to stand in front of her, teasingly.

“Aye.. enjoyin’ tha view?”

You smirked. “Mhm.. very much.”

Sal chuckled, the muscles in her abdomen flexing ever so slightly as she did.

Gods, she was so fucking hot. And the soft black rope you'd used to restrain her wrists looked absolutely stunning against the grayscape of her skin. Skin that was speckled beautifully with a pink hue that was only growing deeper by the second.

“You're fucking gorgeous, Sal.”

Her cheeks warmed brilliantly at the abrupt compliment - face encased softly in a curtain of inky black hair.

“Oi, hush.”

“Hm.. no, I don't think I will. And there's absolutely nothing you can do about it, is there?” You teased, leaning down.

Sal only shook her head, chuckling.

“That's right. So, be a good girl.. Captain.. and take it.”

Your smirk only growing wider at the look she gave you. Shark-li teeth pressing into the top part of her bottom lip and a subtle twitch to her cock.

Fuck, it was beautiful - the effect being praised had on her. There were few things in life hotter than a rough and tumble Pirate Captain who melted at being called ‘good’. And then when you added Sal herself into that mix.. well, the effects were.. intoxicating.. to say the least.

“Yer not playin’ fair, luv.”

‘I don't recall ever saying I would.”

“Cud make yer swab tha deck fer this, yer know?”

You shrugged, smirking. “Worth it.”

You moved a little closer and her cock twitched again, betraying the level of her neediness. The flush that started at her pointed ears and made its way deliciously down the length of her - painting her body in a deep crimson - grew a little darker. Still, you kept your panties intact as you straddled her hips.

Not yet, Captain.

Though you couldn't help the tiny whimper that fell when your clit pressed down firmly against her womanhood through the thin, soaked fabric. And then again when you ground down onto it. Fuck, she was hard.. so, so hard-

You took a deep breath to regain your focus.

You had a plan. Worship first. Make her as needy as absolutely possible while indulging every inch of her. Worship her like the sea goddess that she was. Then you could indulge her.

So, needless to say, you paid her no mind when she whimpered in turn wanting more, her cock already pulsing with need beneath you. Instead you leaned in, lowering the top part of your body slowly onto hers before allowing the weight of you to add even more pressure between the space that you straddled.

“Luv..”

“Shhhh..”

You placed your lips against the pulse point on Sal’s neck and felt her swallow. Your tongue sucking over it only for a moment before a kiss quickly took its place. Soon those kisses were peppering their way down the side of it only to stop just short of her collar bone. Every inch of her was toned - taut - ready for you. Even more so when she pulled on her restraints in want, forcing a creak from the old wooden headboard they were bound to.

Another swirl of your tongue at the crook of her neck before your lips continued their journey down the landscape of her. Stopping every so often to bite or nibble - lick or suck. Loving the small sounds that every small act pulled from her - especially when the warmth of your mouth found her nipple and quickly enveloped it. A smooth roll of your hips added in and she was moaning almost breathlessly in your ear.

“L-luv-”

“Let me take care of you, Sal.”

Your words were murmured - muffled - pushing air across her already erect nipples and making them even harder.

But you didn't stop there. Sucking over them eagerly as you rolled your hips again - this time forcing a hard pull against the soft black rope. Her cock throbbing hard against your clit, begging for release and coating your panties in her own desire. Gods, it was delicious. How needy you had her, how gorgeous she looked dressed in nothing but her want for you. It was intoxicating - like a drug, a supreme high - charging your body with an almost raw current.

Another roll of your hips.. your teeth grazing over her nipples before bringing your lips to her sternum and continuing your journey. Her toned abs twitching under your soft kisses, under your warm tongue that occasionally sucked over them.

“You're fucking divine, Sal. You know that?”

Your gaze looked up at her just in time to catch her blush grow even deeper.

“H-hush.”

“Make me.”

You smirked before kissing around her happy trail, rolling your hips once again.

And that's when you heard it. Cutting through the quiet winter night like a strike of lightning. Like a storm across the sea. A satisfying rip as Sal broke free from her restraints - a look of utterly feral need blazing within her eyes.

Fuck. You were done for.

Before you could even make any sort of move, make any sort of objection, Sal had you on all fours - fingers coming to the hem of your panties just prior to swiftly tearing them from your body.

For a moment, though, everything stopped - complete silence from the Pirate Captain until a boisterous laugh spilled out from her. You’d almost completely forgotten about the new toy you’d adorned yourself with earlier and shook your ass teasingly, allowing the small fish tail on the end of your buttplug to waggle.

“Heh.. an’ here I though’ I'd nevah find meself a mermaid.”

“A ‘merperson’, you mean.” You corrected her, tongue sticking out slightly.

She nodded. “Even bettah.”

Sal gave you a single, firm smack against your ass and then lined the tip of her womanhood up against your entrance. One hand between your shoulder blades, holding your body down with your hands - while the other guided the width of her into you. Both of you practically dripping as she slowly began to slide herself into your core, the immediate stretch making you moan.

“Heh.. now who's needy?”

Sal chuckled - maybe at the table’s being turned, or the fish tail that still sat perfectly in your ass - either way, it only lasted for a breath before she thrusted herself back into you, forcing the toy in your ass just far enough in to make it feel good.

“F-fuck.”

She'd only just started and you could already feel your need dripping down your inner thighs, worked up from just the simple act of worshiping her. And how could you not be? Truly? You knew the view Sal had just given you was not one that many had gotten to experience - if any - and it was more than a treat to have her trust in such a way. A fact itself would usually have you practically dripping. Let alone this. Let alone having had her perfect body beneath you for as long as you did - knowing that she trusted you to take care of it. Take care of her. Like no one else ever had.

You remembered how she hesitated when she came to visit you last week in the kitchens. A slight flush to her cheeks as she played idly with the hem of her shirt. You'd never seen that of her prior - being so vulnerable, yet so open about what she wanted. She’d barely had the chance to finish asking you before you'd let out an exuberant “Fuckin’ right I can-!” Her chuckle in response and the way she nervously rubbed the back of her neck - as if there was even a slight chance that you'd say no - had warmed your heart in a way that you had never expected.

It was beautiful. This - her - was beautiful. So incredibly stunning.

But now she had exactly where she wanted you. With your face pressed down into her mattress and your mind filled with bliss. Your core clenching around the width of her as she teased you - denied you.

“Aye.. now yer gonna stay an’ warm tha’ fer me. Fer as long as I want yer to.”

Her breath was hot against your ear as you whimpered.

“Mmph- .. yes, Captain.”

Another smack to your backside and all you could do was moan, the act causing both her cock and the toy inside your ass to move oh so pleasurably inside you. Making you want more.. forcing you to squirm against the iron grip that she had you in.

“I sed stay.” She growled. This time there was venom to the Captain’s words. You'd had your turn at riling her up, and now it was hers. And just like you had said to her, you were going to stay there - and take it.

You whimpered pathetically in response - legs trembling, core aching, the width of her throbbing deep inside you. You knew she wanted you just as badly - that the famed pirate wouldn’t be able to hold out forever - but for now Sal’s reserve continued to outwin her need. Even when you did your best to force your hips back into her - an act that you were certain would likely be in vain - but with your level of need and the brattiness that dusted it, your brain was fogged over to the point where you no longer cared.

“Please, Sal! Please.” You whined, you begged. Tears building at the corners of your eyes and your body coated in a deep flush.

A single thrust, that's all you got. Just enough to pool more juices to your core and make you cry out.

“Fuck-” You whined, your legs trembling even harder. “Fucking please.”

Honestly, you were a little impressed at how well she was still able to hold back. You could feel how hard she was by this point. How profoundly her cock throbbed inside you. Her once steady breaths growing more hitched by the second. Another single thrust only this time she moaned, body shuddering above you as she slammed the full length of herself into your core.

A silent cry into the night followed by an easy exhale as you felt her hold on you finally loosen, your arms dropping to your sides once both of Sal’s hands came to your hips - her stance shifting slightly behind you.

And just like that, the Pirate Captain’s reserve faltered. The only sounds to be heard next were the delicious sounds of flesh against flesh. Of heated desire against firm skin as your juices coated Sal’s lower abs with each eager thrust.

“Mmph.. y-yes.. don't stop. Please don't stop.”

She growled - feral, unhinged. The pace in which she fucked you now relentless, stretching your core with every exquisite pump. Your fingers clawing into her bed sheets as you elongated your hips back even further, giving her unhindered access to your dripping hole - wanting it to be used as nothing more. To be absolutely filled with her desire until it was trickling down both of your legs.

And you knew Sal would make good on that want. She always had. She'd never left you anything but completely satisfied and this time would be no different.

Though you could tell she wouldn't last too much longer, every pump bringing a heavy twitch to her cock and pulling the most erotic sounds from her body. Moans and breathless whimpers. Her nails sinking into the supple flesh of your thighs as she drove herself into you over and over again. Your own pleasure building uncontrolled like a white fire - prickling and hot and on the verge of completely engulfing you.

Until it did. Until there was nothing left but the juices that spilled from your core and Sal’s own desire pumping into you. Your voices a mere chorus of screams as the pirate pushed you both past the brink of absolute pleasure - bodies shuddering as you fell breathless to the now soaked mattress below you.

The moments between your last orgasm and the feeling of emptiness as Sal finally slid out of you were barely more than a blur. Completely blissed out as she removed the toy from your ass and laid you on your side so she could spoon you from behind. Strong, safe arms coming to wrap around your torso as she pulled you close against herself.

“Fucking.. hells, Sal.”

She chuckled, a breath of warm air blowing through your sweat-dampened hair.

“Aye.. yer okay? Need water?”

“Mmh.. in a minute. For now.. I just need this.”

Your breath slowly came back to normal as you cuddled into her, making her chuckle again.

“Heh.. a’ight.”

The familiar scent of sea spray and cinnamon encased you as a soft kiss came to the back of your neck, making you shiver. Sal's firm body behind you, holding you in a way that made you feel completely safe from everything. From all the bad things the world had to offer. From all the hateful stares of the people that never understood you. She was your beacon, your lighthouse in the storm. Always calling you home.

“... Sal?”

“Mh?”

“You know I love you, right?”

Her brief pause made you more than certain Sal's cheeks were likely warming once again.

“Aye… luv yer too.” She replied, pulling you a little closer into her large frame. But before she could settle in too comfortably, you turned in her arms so you could face her. Your arms wrapping securely around the width of her rib cage.

“Good.” You smirked, kissing the bottom of her chin. “Just like you.”

“Oi.. hush. Hadn't had enuf?”

“Of you? Is there such a thing?”

Sal only chuckled but you could see the pink hue readily returning to her cheeks. You nuzzled your head under her chin and pulled her flush against you. The beat of her heart as strong and steady as she was. The heat of her body as calm and warm as she made you feel. She sighed contently and wrapped her arms even more firmly around you. You were so close - but yet, not close enough. Your outer leg coming to wrap around her hips and her thigh moving to lay between them.

“Cud stay like thi’ forever.” Sal whispered.

“Mmh.. say less.” You replied, smiling widely as you kissed her collar bone.

“Heh.”

She placed a kiss to the top of your head and you snuggled in even more, leaving not a breath of space between the two of you. The next soft kiss to her collar bone pulled the smallest of noises from Sal’s throat, immediately bringing a pulse to your core. You moved your hips slightly against her, an act that only pushed her thigh further into you, making your breath hitch ever so slightly.

It was crazy how easily she could affect you. How just being in such close proximity made you needy all over again. And you knew she was likely tired.. But.. still… It was worth a shot.

You placed another kiss to the base of her neck and sucked at the skin of it gently - just enough to cause a slight jerk to her body and a sharp inhale across the top of your hair. The next kiss brought out the tiniest moan. And the next, a firmness between her legs that you were all too familiar with.

“Sal.” You said softly, causing her to lean back and look at you. Eyes shimmered in want and all the ways that she adored you.

You didn't have to say anything else as Sal took your queue and laid you onto your back without releasing you from her embrace. A soft smirk curling at the corners of her lips before they came crashing into yours, kissing you deeply - profoundly. Soft and gentle and such a stark contrast to her energy before.

Both sets of eyes half lidded as you kept your gaze on each other, completely lost in the moment. Tongues dancing in a minuet - warm and languid and steadily building the desire between you. Re-stoking the fire that had never fully died out. Bodies nude and wrapped in nothing but each other as she spread your legs, your arousal immediately evident.

The way she kissed you, as if you were her last breath, as if she pulled away for even a moment she would perish - right then and there.

There were no words to be spoken between you, no thoughts to be had. Just the sound of your bodies and hearts moving as one as Sal slid herself back into you, cock hard and already throbbing. You moaned into her lips, whimpering when she nibbled softly on your bottom one. The length of her sliding indulgently in and out of you, hitting exactly where you needed it with each deep grind that she gifted you.

It was perfect. Fuck, she was perfect. Hard when you wanted it, soft when it counted. Giving your body, heart, and soul exactly what you needed each and every time.

You began to move your hips in tangent, legs wrapped around her, lazily draped over Sal’s backside. Each pump more delicious than the last, each thrust more exquisite - building your peak with nothing but slow, absolute precision. Equally soft caresses indulging every inch of you, her strong hands never seeming to leave your body - claiming your flesh as her lips claimed your own. The world around you almost non-existent as the two of you moved as one - Sal's firm muscles flexing with each subtle movement. With every stretch to your core.

You felt as if you were on the edge of orgasm from the minute she entered you, and if it weren't for the extremely slow pace in which she took you, you likely would have came already. But Sal knew exactly what she was doing, building you up closer and closer, inch by inch. Her adoring praises practically imprinted into your lips by the time you felt her cock start to twitch inside you yet again.

“Come with me, Sal.”

Less of an order than a plea, but she only nodded - kissing you even deeper. Claiming you fully while her hips picked up their pace. Every muscle in her body taut, tense - the length of her driving into you at full speed.

“Mmph- .. y-yes .. so good.”

Whimpered words falling off your tongue like a prayer - only for a moment before your orgasm quickly took you. Rolling over your body like tepid water and washing you in bliss. Sal's own desire filling you once again as her body shuddered, your juices re-soaking the bed sheets below you until she fell absolutely breathless on top of you.

And even though you were completely and utterly wrecked, you still whined when she finally slid out of you, your core entirely too empty as aftershocks forced it to clench around nothing. She chuckled between shuddered breaths as she came to lie next to you once again.

Only this time her eyes were closed, a look of serene calm playing across her features. The ebb and flow of her breath a constant current like the waves that carried your ship. You smiled softly to yourself and rolled over fully on your side to face her.

“You're beautiful, you know that?”

“Oi.. hush.”

A sliver of glow shot in your direction as Sal just barely opened her eyes to look at you, the warmth within them bringing an instant flush to your cheeks.

“Hmm.. no.”

She chuckled at your response and shook her head, strong arms reaching out before they pulled you close against her chest.

“An’ here I though’ I tired yer out.”

She pulled you closer still and you snuggled in.

“Bold of you to assume I'd ever be too spent to praise you, Sal.”

“Heh.”

You let your smirk linger on your lips as you pressed them gently to the side of her cheek. “Merry Christmas, Captain.”

You let a single content and quickly snuggled back into her. The steady melody of Sal’s breath slowly lulling you off as the soft rock of the ocean pulled the both of you into a deep, blissful sleep.

Merry Christmas, indeed.

[kqrosez]

Golden earring

Hey y’all, sorry for not posting much. Life is being shit lately and I’m at a 24/7 burnout crisis rn. I didn’t forget y’alls fics, js be really patient w me. Thank you for your understanding 🫶 (I posted the same fic on ao3, feel free to show some love there too if you’d like.)

It was just another normal day in splatsville, the chaotic city of the splatlands.

The sun was shining onto the center, where many cephalopods had taken their stance, interacting with eachother as their hots for the “freshest” things never deceased. Really, it didn’t matter on what the “freshness” was about, literally anything labeled as “fresh” had worked to keep those ink-fishes to motivated to keep battling their lives out in the battle tower.

If you were not buzzed up in the lobby though, you’d be able to listen to all the various noises coming from the inhabitants of the splatlands. Really, no matter where you were, you’d always hear some sort of noise, that’s how busy the city of chaos was.

Of course, it wasn’t just the city itself which was chaotic, it were the inhabitants. Tons of cephalopods, who had came from cities which were outside the splantlands, had adapted to the reckless behavior of those, who had grown up here. It was a both scary and interesting growth of the population of this city.

The battle tower itself though, was the cause of this new swarm of foreigners making their ways to the splatlands. Everything was changing, the population of the city started to increase rapidly!

So rapidly that..a certain urchin, who participates in doing shady-businesses, had laid his eye on this newly found hot-spot….

…

…

…

“You little imbecile!”, the old shop-owner, who runs some random jewelry store, yelled at the inkling girl, whom he had thrown out of the shop moments ago. The female inkling fell backwards onto some empty boxes, due to the impact of him kicking her out of his shop, but his yelling didn’t stop, not even after that.

“Don’t you ever dare to show your face in here ever again, you dirty thief!”, was the last thing the squid girl heard, before she saw the old-shop owner retreat back into his shop and bang the door shut.

It takes a few seconds for the inkling girl to let the situation sink in, until she eventually stood up from those boxes with a groan.

“Ugh, what a dramatic old geezer.”, she whispered to herself, as she wiped her arms clean from the dust of those boxes.

After successfully cleaning herself up from the dust, her hands instantly landed onto her right-three-tentacle-hair-strands, which were braided together and held together by a rubber band.

She instantly took the rubber band off and undid her her braids, which then resulted into something golden, tiny and shiny to fall down onto the cement floor beneath her.

The female inkling quickly ducked down, in order to pick the mysterious little object up.

She held that little golden ball between her palms and smirked triumphantly to herself.

“Funny how that fucker didn’t see you between my tentacles.”, she spoke out as she examined the mysterious object on her palms, which turned out to be an actual golden earring.

“I’m sure murch will have a field day with you, huh?”, she thought out-loud again, as she quickly put the golden earring into the pocket of her jacket and made her way to the battle tower, where the sea urchin Murch was usually chilling at.

…

…

…

The tall sea urchin was silently sitting near the entrance of the battle tower, while he was silently scrolling through this squid-phone, waiting for a customer to approach him.

A lot of thoughts were on in his mind right now, wondering on what he’d do later today. There was also other certain thoughts located in the back of his mind, but he did not wanna bother himself with those right now.

He was snapped out of his daze, after he heard a familiar voice call out to him.

“Muuurch! Hey murch!!!” Kihon exclaimed, waving her hand around his face, as if to try and snap him out of whatever daze he was in right now. Needless to say, it had worked.

The urchin immediately snapped out of his daze. He quickly put his phone away and looked into the eyes of the inkling whom he known since a long time.

“Sorry, I must’ve dozed off a few seconds ago.”, He had calmly said to her, as he continued to look into her eyes. He noticed the proud smile on her face, which automatically led him know that she did something which she shouldn’t have.

“…what did you do?”, he simply asked her. This was a question he would ask her every single time when he knew that she’d done something again.

Kihon proudly crossed her arms, while having a toothy-smile plastered on her face. “Well, remember the time when you said that you had problems with your rent? I thought that I could help you out a little so….I got you this!”

Before he could react, she stretched her hand out to him and revealed the golden earring-piece which was on the middle of her palms.

Judging by the looks of the tiny little piece of gold, it must’ve costed a fortune, but he already knew that Kihon stole it instead of buying it.

He stared onto the tiny little piece of gold for a couple of seconds. “Impressive, aren’t I riiighhht~? I’m sure it’ll pay off your rent for the next couple of months!”, Kihon proudly said out aloud.

He knew she was right. This tiny little piece of Gold could atleast cover up his rent for the next sixth months, but he knew better. He knew how Kihon laid her hands on this item and he hated it, he didn’t want her to continue being a thief.

He himself was already working in shady business and hated it, he didn’t want someone close to him make similar mistakes. He didn’t want her to steal for anything or anyone, especially not for him.

Though, the fact that she did something as dangerous as stealing directly from a jewelry store in broad daylight just to she could somehow support him, made him feel something he couldn’t really name.

…

…

…

The urchin kept staring at the Golden earpiece which was laying on Kihons palms. His chin was on his hand as he was obviously deep in thought.

The female inkling, who was still standing infront of him, was slowly starting to get nervous, as she wondered what was going through his head. After another pair of seconds had passed, her patience had ran out.

“Ay, dude, you still there..?”, Kihons voice instantly busted the thought bubble murch was in and he flinched, the spines of his head stretched for one second and immediately went back to their original length after.

The sea urchin shook his head slightly and immediately grabbed the tiny goldpiece from Kihons hand, deciding that he won’t let her efforts go to waste.

Once he saw that Kihon had noticed him accept her help, a smile had formed on the inklings face which made his heart melt.

Surely, that very same smile could have not been another reason for him to accept her help too, no?

The inkling immediately jumped onto him, hugging him tightly, with her arms wrapped around his shoulders and legs wrapped around his stomach. “I knew you would accept it! Hooray!”, she laughed out. Her grip on him didn’t falter at all, as she kept smiling like an idiot while holding him close.

Her sudden action caught him off-guard, he didn’t react for the first few seconds until realization dawned upon him and he immediately tried to push her off with a slightly embarrassed blush on his face.

He wiggled around with his upper body, trying to shake the inkling off of him, as she laughed at his poor attempts.

“You won’t get me off of you like that, you know!”, “Arghh…shut it, chum!”, “Oooooo, calling me a chum again now, I see how it is now!! Pfft!” “…you little..!!”

Their whole ordeal kept going for multiple minutes, eventually getting a few glances of other inklings/octolings around those two. Yet, that wasn’t something that bothered the pair a lot. Nonetheless, what else could you have expected from such a lousy city like splatsville?

[jungle-angel]

A Selkie in the Sunshine State: Part 2 (Bob Floyd x Reader)

Summary: Whoever thought you would be best friends with a man of the sea? 

“Here,” you told Bob as you began pulling some of the extra men’s clothes out of your closet. “Will these do?” 

“I think so,” he said shyly. “I hope I’m not being intrusive or anything it’s just....” 

“Just what?” 

“I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” he answered, his voice quiet and meek. “I mean, look at me. I’m a weirdo who washes up on the shores with a friggin seal skin hanging off like it’s the end of a blanket or something.” 

“I don’t think it’s weird,” you said with a shrug. “I mean it’s weird but....not weird at the same time.” 

Bob scrunched his eyebrows together. How could it be, that something was weird but also not, at the same time? “I’m not sure I understand,�� he said quizzically. 

“You’re talking to a girl who used to spend all of her time in a library, reading books about mythical creatures,” you told him. “But I never thought I’d meet one in real life.” 

Bob had been about to say something, but quickly silenced himself. There was no use in saying something stupid that he was bound to get embarrassed over later. 

He scratched his head a little, the dried out salt flakes falling to the wood floors of your bedroom. “Hey, listen, do you mind if I use the shower?” he asked. “Or if I took a bath?”

“Oh not at all,” you assured him. “Just clean up when you’re done.” 

Bob hurried off to the bathroom to catch a bath. As soon as you heard the water running, you dug a fresh load of clean, fluffy, white towels out of the linen closet and brought them in, the steam rising above the closed shower curtain and the curtain rod. 

“Here,” you said, handing him a green bottle full of bodywash. “This’ll do you good.” 

Bob thanked you and took the bottle of Irish Spring, slathering himself with its fresh scent until the whole bathroom was filled with it. 

You had turned to leave but your gaze quickly fell to the seal skin hanging from the towel rod to dry out. There was something so eerie and so unearthly about it, almost as though it were calling right out to you in a voice that couldn’t be heard. 

You reached your hand out to touch it and when you did, your hand instinctively pulled back. Cautiously you reached out again, this time a little less hesitantly, running your hand along the smooth, silvery grey surface that rippled like water beneath your touch. It was so soft, so smooth with no blemishes or marks....not even the thready little rings that had been around the eyes. 

And those eyes......if one could really call them that. They appeared to be no more than two little holes cut into the cloth of one end. You lifted it up to find that it resembled the hood of a cloak......just as it did in the old tales you had read. 

You felt a coolness running through your body, a coolness that made you shiver a little. You could almost hear the roar of the ocean, the fall of the waves and little blue flickers that flashed before your eyes. 

You’re crazy......you told yourself.

You shook off the sensation and left Bob to his own devices. Still......maybe there was more to this than you thought. 

[literategoblin]

I want to read a book a week in 2023.

That's about it really. I used to love reading like nothing else. It was my first real passion that I can remember not just "liking" or "enjoying" but really loving. But somewhere along the way, I lost it. Not my love for it but just the habit, the act of doing it. I fill my time now with many little things that I do enjoy, but want to make time again for a passion that I truly enjoy and feel as though I grow from. I want to write, and publish or share. . . Something in 2023. Or, be far along in the process of doing so. Even after picking up the craft of writing and studying it deeply, I never got back into the habit of reading, however much I enjoy it. There's a part of me that feels like I'm missing the most obvious routine to improve as a writer, something so fundamental that all else I do to improve is hindered without it. So, this year I will read a book a week and write a spoiler free review for it and post it here for people to see if they want, and for me to look back on. I've already started with the first book of the year having been "The Girl who fell Beneath the Sea" by Axie Oh and currently reading through "Roadside Picnic" by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky as translated by Olena Bormashenko. Two very different books one after the other. . . I think I like it like that though. Anyways, a review is on the way with another to follow soon after. Aiming for four review posts in total this month, maybe five if I really find a rhythm. I'll also make little posts to share thoughts, or shiny things I collect along the way.

Welcome, I hope this post found you well. If you've read this far, I hope you're doing well. -Goblin

[limerental]

ficletober 2022 day 29 - yengilla & yenstredd

Attempting to be rebellious for once, Fringilla sneaks out of their room at Aretuza to follow Yennefer. She sees more than she bargained for when she encounters Istredd and Yennefer together.

Contains some explicit underage sex (~16ish), voyeurism, and masturbation.

Breaking curfew to sneak out of an Aretuza dormitory was said to be no small feat, but Yennefer was fairly certain the girls that came before her, whether they were scared or stupid or less tenacious, had simply not tried very hard.

"Yenna," her roommate hissed under her breath, gripping her bedcovers, "you're not going to–"

"I am," said Yennefer as she laced her boots and tugged on her cloak, sweeping her unruly hair into a tie away from her face and checking herself for blemishes in the cracked mirror above the washbasin. The candle on her desk flickered, a risk she had deemed necessary to make sure she didn't have any grievous issues with her appearance.

Ordinarily, she wouldn't bother, but tonight, she had an appointment.

"You'll get us both in trouble," said her roommate, and Yennefer rolled her eyes. "They'll think we were conspiring."

"You and me?" She smiled a mean and crooked grin. "Never in a million years would anyone believe that. You've never done a rebellious thing in your life."

Yennefer twitched the hood of her cloak over her head, whispered several spells forbidden to novices to conceal herself, and doused the candle.

Unable to watch her go in the sudden darkness that enveloped the room, Fringilla Vigo could only flop back against her bed and groan as Yennefer disappeared and silence fell.

"I hate her," said Fringilla to the ceiling. "I really hate Yennefer of Vengerberg."

She was still muttering about it as she slipped from bed, donned her cloak, repeated the words her roommate had spoken to conceal herself, and snuck from the room.

*

Yennefer was not incredibly difficult to find, especially because Fringilla was exceptionally good at discovery charms, even though this was a gross misuse of her knowledge. The charm worked best by scent, enhancing and focusing the caster's senses, and fortunately, Yennefer had taken a liking to a particularly strong lilac perfume.

Yes, she knew what Yennefer smelled like, and yes, this was not the first time she had followed her by it. No, that wasn't pathetic or embarrassing at all.

She had never done this before though, risking expulsion or worse over a silly challenge Yennefer probably didn't even know she had issued.

Fringilla didn't understand how Yennefer could be so lackadaisical about breaking rules here, especially given the way she talked about her life before. If Aretuza decided she was more trouble than she was worth, she would be back to living as a peasant in a pigsty, her magic externally contained and memory erased.

If Fringilla were expelled, her parents would likely force her into some obscure and mundane profession, maybe marrying her off to a husband who could overlook her tainted witch blood.

The thought terrified her, hands clammy and limbs wobbly, and she thought of turning back and lying in bed in the dark trying to sleep but truthfully waiting for her roommate to sneak back in.

No, she couldn't go back. It was too late now.

The corridors slowly transitioned from ancient brick to the hewn rock wall of the cave system beneath Thanned Island. The walls were rough and damp with slicks of underground water, and noises echoed strangely. It was said that the caves extended under the sea, and that there were secret, protected tunnels onto the mainland and into Gors Velen.

She hoped that Yennefer had not snuck out into the city. This late at night, the streets would be dangerous and wild with cavorting hooligans and beckoning whores.

Not that she had ever been to Gors Velen well after dark, but she imagined it must be like that.

But no, Fringilla could hear Yennefer in one of the corridors up ahead, whispering, and she could smell the sweetness of her perfume. The spell she had used to cloak her presence was amateurish, easy to worm through with the right counterspell, especially having clearly heard her mutter the whole thing.

In her haste to smugly declare herself a true rebel equal to her awful, arrogant roommate, she forgot that her perception extended only to Yennefer and not to anyone else that could be with her.

Fringilla rounded the corner and was immediately struck numb by the sight before her.

Yennefer was wholly nude, her skin glowing in the light of a magical orb hovering above her and her partner's heads. Istredd, a Ban Ard boy a year before them, stood equally nude behind her, and he was–

Yennefer faced the wall, arms braced against it, and Istredd's hands trailed up and down the slope of her shoulders, his mouth brushing the hitch of her curved spine. His belly was flush to her backside, and as Fringilla watched, he leaned back a little and dropped one hand to stroke his very erect penis.

Fringilla stared at it, wide-eyed, feeling a strange mix of revulsion and excitement, and suddenly realized, she was standing in plain sight in the middle of the corridor and shrank back against the wall.

She should go. Quickly. She should run back to bed.

Fringilla stayed, watching.

Yennefer muttered something and looked back over her shoulder, then wiggled her hips and spread her legs, back arching in a come on that proved as inticing to Istredd as it was to Fringilla, whose breath caught. He held the bulbous head of his penis steady and pressed it slowly inside of Yennefer's body. By the drawn out moan she breathed against the wall of the cave, it felt good.

Fringilla bit at her knuckles, feeling like she may melt into a puddle on the floor. She scarcely dared to breathe as she watched Istredd's hands touch the dip of Yennefer's waist and his hips begin to undulate.

He moved slowly at first, his mouth moving against Yennefer's back. Fringilla realized he must be speaking, but she could not hear through his more advanced silencing spell. She could only hear Yennefer's gasps and sighs and muttered encouragement and found she preferred it that way. Istredd sank away, leaving only Yennefer, her body a warm curve in the magical light, her breasts brushing the wall, her pretty mouth open and gasping, her belly quivering as she dropped her own hand between her legs to rub at herself.

As if reminded of her own body's needs by the act, without hesitation, Fringilla quickly shucked up her skirts and shoved her hand to press against herself. Her heartbeat beat loudly between her own legs, and she felt dizzy, flushed, exhilarated in ways she didnt think possible.

She'd never seen the appeal of sex, squinting at the erotic drawings the other girls giggled over, not quite understanding the appeal of being penetrated by a bulging, veined organ of that girth and heft, perplexed by the way the girls sighed over muscle bound heroes and mountainous barbarians.

But now, she looked at Yennefer feigning coyness, fluttering her lashes and biting her lip as she urged Istredd to fuck her properly, and Fringilla wanted nothing but to be the one pressed close behind her, touching her soft skin, fucking into her.

She'd touched herself like this before, hushed and embarrassed in the quiet of her bed but had never crashed so swiftly toward her peak, hurtling into a thrumming, nearly painful seize of pleasure.

Yennefer crested as she did, letting herself shout and wail through her orgasm. As Fringilla watched, her trembling fingers still crooked between her legs, Yennefer shoved Istredd back and free of her before he could finish, turning in his arms to kiss him, cheekily teasing her fingers over his insistent erection.

He said something, soundless to Fringilla's ears, and Yennefer laughed and shoved him until he flopped down on the floor and she straddled him, grabbing at his cock to position it where she wanted and sinking down in a slow drag that inspired a pleased grin on her flushed face.

She gripped Istredd's wrists in both hands and dropped forward to pin them, rutting her hips down at a wild pace while demanding he not finish before she said. Istredd had his face screwed up in pleasure, and Yennefer was resplendent, beautiful, moving with a sinuous flex of muscles that left Fringilla awed and too warm and envious of the hands that smoothed down her hips and back, allowed to touch.

Istredd's hips jerked, and his mouth opened and Yennefer laughed brightly, a little breathless, pleased by how intently he was fighting his finish, and then she lowered her mouth against his tensed throat and nipped him once, twice, his whole body going taut.

"Come on then," she said, and it was as though she had whispered it straight into Fringilla's ear, because her body obeyed, giving to another powerful orgasm.

All three of them caught their breath in the aftermath, Fringilla allowing her skirt's to fall and Yennefer slumping forward against Istredd's chest.

When he made to pull out, she held him still with her thighs.

"A moment more," Yennefer said and the tenderness in her voice betrayed her smug, satisfied expression. "If I could keep you inside me forever, I would."

Istredd cupped her face in his hands and kissed her with a softness that made Fringilla squirm, and she turned away, not wanting to see more. She turned and fled, heart pounding, chest aching and reached her room without incident, quivering all over as she tugged her bedcovers over her head and allowed herself to weep.

Not an hour later, Yennefer snuck back into the room, smelling sweetly of lilac, and Fringilla lay awake, barely daring to breathe, until the other girl had climbed into bed and settled.

She did not dare follow Yennefer again but very often long afterward recalled how she had looked in the glowing light, her warm skin and open shows of pleasure, and she ached and ached and ached.

[wndybyrd]

@exiled-eyes​ :: continued from HERE.

hurt eyes flickered across cecco’s hardened features, their face an unreadable mix of pain and hatred that was carefully concealed beneath an icy sheen. something had shifted yet the girl had failed to complete the puzzle of what exactly ( too many pieces missing, and too many players on the board ).

despite all her stories and everything she’d been taught to believe, this pirate was no nefarious villain or wicked grown-up. they did not wish to carve her up like a christmas ham, or tie her helplessly to the bowsprit of their ship, or chain her arms and send the girl tumbling into the graveyard beneath the sea. goodness existed within them—something she’d never before imagined pirates to be capable of—and they had chosen to extend this rarity to her. cecco had become a comfort, their wise words guiding her muddled mind through the confusing maze of new unfamiliarities neverland had come to possess in her absence. but even they, her one constant, had changed. in the short passing, a dark tension had seemed to fall upon her beloved pirate, a gray cloud shadowing their path with the promise of a torrential downpour to come.

wendy blamed captain hook, who had finally crept out of solitude like a cockroach scuttling in and out of the shadows. the hatred that brewed within him seemed to be contagious among the pirate crew he’d assembled, though the child had hoped cecco to be immune to such effects. now, before her very eyes, she could ( to her dismay ) see the earnest truth much too clearly. a seething fire that flickered deep within umber orbs, the bloodthirsty glint reflecting off sharp canines, the steadiness of a tightened fist. she took a step back.

“ you know nothing. “     her face fell, though the frown she wore was one of disappointment rather than sadness. she tugged at the sleeves of her coat, a once precious gift turned sour. wendy had donned the beloved thing with pride despite the sharp glares thrown her way by the others. now, though, it burned at her skin as if woven in acid, unbearable to the touch. balling the thickness as tight as she could, she tossed the mess of fraying fabric at cecco. 

“ i thought you were so wonderful but you really are as miserable as the rest. and yet, i’ll be heartbroken when peter kills you. “ 

[mrlancer]

The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea by Axie Oh follows the story of Mina who jumps into the sea to become the Sea God's Bride instead of her brother's lover.

This book was loaned to me by a friend who said it was a fun read, and I won't deny that it is a fun read.

The story is not complex, but that doesn't make it a bad story. I liked Mina as a character and I admired that she wanted to protect the human world and her family so much.

All the characters were fun and though we didn't get too much backstory, they were fun and creative.

It is a YA book (I think), but I did kind of want it to go a little further in depth about the spirit world that Mina fell into, but that's really my only complaint.

Everything else flowered really well and it was a fun and fast read.

Overall, I enjoyed it and I would recommend it to anyone who's into mythology retellings!

[lees-book-log]

some of my favorite(*) books:

book lovers by emily henry- I know that at the bottom of this I just said I didn’t like most tt recommendations or romance but I actually really like emily henry. I would absolutely NOT compare her to Jane Austen (such a dumb thing to do, honestly) but I like the mix between romance and “womens” fiction. book lovers is my favorite of hers (sorry beach read fanatics) because I really enjoyed how the romance between charlie and nora complimented both of their inner struggles.

raybearer by jordan ifueko- honestly I read this extremely quickly back in july so i don’t have many thoughts on it anymore, but i think i liked it so much because it was a reintroduction to african based fantasy, and also because of how valued friendships were.

the girl who fell beneath the sea by axie oh- to be honest, I don’t think I would like this much upon reread but that’s okay because I really loved it the first time around. mostly for the vibes and the friendship though because in my opinion the romance wasn’t very compelling/ there was no chemistry.

all my rage by sabaa tahir- I am first and foremost a sabaa tahir stan. would say that as opposed to how I felt about modern stuff being explicit in highly suspicious and unfairly cute, I did not like all of the name drops of authors sabaa is friends with at the end, but that is a small bone to pick. I will reread at some point and add updated thoughts.

legendborn by tracy deon- honestly there is a few things I could critique about this book, and if I ever reread it I’ll definitely have slightly more coherent thoughts on it. but despite my issues with it Bree, the main character has creeped into my mind and claimed a corner there. I will remain invested in her story for better or for worse. also, there are things that I really like about it!

pride and prejudice by jane austen- it’s pride and prejudice what do I have to say that hasn’t already been said. 2005 movie supremacist.

howls moving castle by diana wynne jones- I will always always always always love howls moving castle. each time I reread it I forget jones is dead and then relive finding out 💔. Even though the movie adaptation changes a lot it’s my favorite book to movie adaptation. I love it sm. diana wynne jones you’ll always be famous.

*okay so reading. I read OBSESSIVELY as a child and then in middle school I kind of just. stopped. I guess, well, I still read fanfiction ☠️ but that hardly counts (don’t get me wrong there’s amazing fanfic out there, just the majority of what I read wasn’t) but then! traumatic event happened in my life and I started reading as escapism 😍 but because I was reading to escape reality and because I wasn’t able to consistently go to a shop or the library I was getting most of my recommendations off of tiktok. and reading mostly romance. and I hated most of it. And this year I’m trying to branch out, discover my own unique taste a bit. but yeah, most of these will be super popular, apologies.

[maddiesbookshelves]

📚🗓 Mid-Year Freakout Tag 2022 🗓📚

jumping on the hype train because it's fun

How many books have you read so far?

15 if I don't count the ATLA comic

What genres have you read?

Fantasy, historical mysteries, contemporary, sometimes with fantastical elements.

Best book you've read so far in 2022?

It's probably a tie between The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V. E. Schwab, and The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid.

Best sequel you've read so far in 2022?

The only sequel I've read so far is Realm of Ash by Tasha Suri, and i read both books in the series back to back.

New release you haven't read yet, but want to

A Magic Steeped in Poison by Judy I. Lin. It's staring at me from my bookshelf just as much as I'm staring at it.

Most anticipated release for the second half of the year

The Golden Enclaves by Naomi Novik 👁️👄👁️

Biggest disappointment

I... read some questionable books (thank you again, Mia, for making it 3 books and not just 2). I can't really say I was disappointed by them because I wasn't expecting anything, but I'll still say Crave and Crush by Tracy Wolff because those are bestsellers goddammit. I'm disappointed in the publishing industry.

Biggest surprise

June Hur, I wasn't expecting to like her books this much. She made it very easy for people who don't know a thing about Korea to feel like they aren't excluded and missing a joke.

Book that made you cry

Addie LaRue had me this close to sobbing but I held myself back because I had to go out later, but the same can't be said for Evelyn Hugo. I cried quite a bit with that one.

Book that made you happy

I honestly don't know? Reading in general makes me happy. I can tell you which books made me unhappy, though. If I really have to pick one, I'd say... Empire of Sand and the sequel, Realm of Ash, by Tasha Suri because it made me learn things about a culture I had no idea even existed.

Most beautiful book cover of a book you've read so far this year

The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea by Axie Oh, it's so beautiful, omg.

How are you doing with your year's goal?

I'm late 🥲 But I've been very busy recently, what with my internship and life in general. I'm hoping to read more and maybe catch up with my goal this summer!

What books do you need to read by the end of the year?

I don't have these kind of limitations but if I had to pick one I guess I'd say A Magic Steeped in Poison because if I like it I want to be able to buy the hardcover for the second book since it comes out in August.

[yinses]

he reminds your ex who you belong to

gojo satoru ft. f! reader + exhibition ( technically phone sex ¿) + some hair pulling + unprotected sex  wc: 2.3k

a/n: trying to get better with my tagging. i realize the community has it’s own sensitivities and i often fall short on that thought. i still owe some prompts and a few other asks but this has been siting in my drafts for a few weeks and i finally finished it up. 

it never fails to come as an interruption in your life, the shrill call of your phone blaring at inopportune times. each one conveniently impeding on time with gojo.  

your boyfriend of four months would give you that tight smile, blue eyes swimming with annoyance, but never concern. because not once did you pick up the call, always reaching out blindly to silence it without even acknowledging the accompanying messages. 

the number changes, but you learned not to accept any call from one you didn’t recognize. important communications were typically followed by voicemail and that was how you dealt with that. but the duration was becoming more tedious than either of you imagined, reaching above the white noise decibel it had been reduced to. 

“maybe i should just change my number, “ you suggest forlornly. it would ensure that he had no way to contact you freely, but it would also force you to reestablish connections with all your friends and family. it seemed like an extreme measure but when push came to shove. 

only a few moments pass before the phone picks up again, hammering down the final nail in your resolve. 

“i think you should answer.”

gojo’s unexpected intervention comes from the edge of the bed where he flips the said phone carefully from one palm to the next. his fingers brush past the two blinking options just short of selecting. 

you shift from foot to foot, not sure how to accept that response. gojo was as irritated as you were but you didn’t expect him to cave first. 

frowning, you shake your head. “i’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

“why not?” his gaze sweeps over your face, somewhat amused by your discomfort. there is a swirl of mischief alight in those bright blue eyes.  “apparently he needs a little more than a simple no.”

he holds out the device, voice taunting but firm.

“if you don’t answer you’ll miss the call.”

as if there wouldn't be a dozen more to follow. 

your mouth feels dry, hand heavy with the weight of decision. it wasn’t as though you couldn't deal with the situation, so much as if you were prepared to. ignoring had been the more appealing option over confrontation but perhaps it had been your hesitation that had been the problem all along. ultimately your thumb taps to accept the call. 

“hello?”

‘baby, i’ve been trying to reach you for ages.’

the bed creaks but you’re too focused breathing evenly to notice. you weren’t familiar with the etiquette of many break ups, which was why this one was the hardest. it had been a long love that had followed you into the early years of adulthood before spark began to fizzle out. 

“i just answered to tell you to stop calling. i’ve already blocked your number once.”

the attempt to revive the romance before it all fell apart had been one-sided. he’d been quicker to discover other fish in the sea before you had. it seemed as though in your patience, you’d found something better while he spent his time chasing minnows without satisfaction. 

‘yes, but you didn’t give me the chance to explain. we don’t have to be over.’

you should have seen it coming. 

your shoulders tense at the press of his lips at your neck. gojo had a propensity for creating opportunities out of every little divot in life. he lived the role of a jester but held the mind of a genius. gojo had been kind in biting his lip to bare down on the jealousy simmering down beneath.

he gives you a brief grace period as his slender fingers tap the mute button then his lips return to your ear. “if you want this, get onto the bed and place the phone above your head with the speaker on.”

an immediate protest flies to your lips but doesn’t quite make it to fruition. what he’s suggestion goes beyond sexual barriers you’d set up thus far. gojo had a knack for pushing them and helping you discover new fantasies and hidden pleasures. 

at the first hint of a pout against your throat, you cave. 

so weak for him.

your ex seems none the wiser to the hitch in your voice as you press one knee to the bed, then the other before carefully rolling onto your back. swallowing the waning confidence before it leaks from your body, you seal the deal by placing the phone just above your head after activating the speaker. 

“good girl.” the words come whispered for your benefit as gojo crawls onto the bed. as if his intentions weren’t already clear enough, the prominent hardness in his pants as he slots between your legs is. you can’t help but grow dizzy at the thought of your premeditated actions, all while your thighs tighten around his form. 

his hands warm the shivers from your sides as he slides up your shirt and kisses down your navel. gojo delivers a sharp nip just before muttering a brisk,” unmute.” in reminder. 

the command comes just in time for your expected response though you’re no more prepared to deliver when gojo unbuttons your pants and works them over your hips. 

‘maybe if we could just meet somewhere?’

the sincerity coupled with your actions makes it all feel more one-sided with you playing the role of the villain. he’d been an ass, yes, but surely he didn’t deserve this. 

right?

“it doesn’t matter, were-mmph.” no part of you expected gojo to play this fairly. you choke on the response when his tongue licks a firm swipe against the fabric of your panties. 

‘what does not matter? speak to me. lets talk this out.”

funny how he chose now of all times to acknowledge the issues you had and attempted to resolve in the past. 

gojo words feel condescending as he mimics what’s heard against your cunt. there was no doubt in your mind that he’d completely written off your ex from the beginning. the same confidence from your first date dripped from his touch as he worked down the fabric from your hips. 

not once did he promise to watch his volume as he sloppily wets his fingers. he’s is ruthless as he plunged in two in on the first thrust, palm curling up to rub friction against your clit. any other time you would have revealed in his ability to make you come apart so easily, now you were more embarrassed by how much easier you felt. 

‘is this a bad time? you seem distracted.’

every time was a bad time. that was the point. 

gojo’s tongue wet the inside of your thigh, “don’t let him hang up. you want this to be his last call, remember.”

at this rate he was going to make this your last waking moment. 

somewhere between a squeak and a whimper, you managed to form words against the friction of gojo’s touch sliding in and out. “no, let’s just-i- yeah, no, we should talk it out now. i’m tired of going back and forth.”

the line pauses briefly. and you almost hope for a second he reaches clarity and saves you from the embarrassment. ‘alright then. are you really not willing to give it another shot?’

your groan of arousal is disguised by disappointment but the opposite warms gojo’s breath against your damp skin. “i didn’t realize you were dating such an idiot. how can he be so dense.” his lips smack, shiny with your stimulation.” you must just really have a thing for pretty faces, willing to look past so much.”

you were willing to look past his deviousness right now, ready to let him desecrate you over the phone like this.

“you’re pretty, toru.” you try to jab but are countered with the addition of a third finger as he starts a relently pace. the sounds are so dirty, reckless suckling sounds that had to carry. gojo made sure of it as he twisted his wrist in retaliation over every shift of your hips. 

“i am much prettier than they guy. much better at a lot,” he enunciates sharp smack to your thigh. 

then he curls just right and you turn for face into the phone and keen.

‘seriously what is going on you sound- strained.’

gojo’s chuckle vibrates within you. “poor guys don't even know what you sound like on the verge of an orgasm.”

your voice is impossibly hoarse and not very convincing as you choke out,” i’m fine. n-no look … i only answered because i wanted us to-fuck-no sorry.” gojo wasn’t making this easy. “- wanted us to reach some closure and move on.”

gojo pulls out just short of your building orgasm and you gasp breathy at the loss. 

‘we were together for two years. surely that amounts to more than just moving on.’

it did. way back when the unexpected break up had torn your hearts to shreds. the misunderstanding and lost connections had eaten you out from the inside. left you failing in the unknowns of what you did wrong and why he wanted to slow down your progress.

now it all seems insignificant in comparison the sight of your current boyfriend slowly fisting his cock. 

‘you wanted to use the break to decide if you were ready for a future together and i think we both realized that we weren't-”

gojo had chosen the right moment to intervene in your life and the moment at the head of his cock pushes through the first ring. he follows through in one motion, filling you to hilt as his hand reaches up to fist the short of your hair. 

‘baby, no one knows you like i do.’

the sharp sting of his fist clenching as he hips rock back is the last warning you get before he slams back in. there was more to the familiar precision as he ruts into you. gojo was the better man, but even he felt short to the green-eyed-monster. 

he was relentless with his pace, fucking into you harder with each new whimper you give up. your consciousness is a fleeting cloud, wafting high out of your reach as your mouth opens up to sharp cries. 

‘are you working out right now? your words sound broken.’

gojo’s hand presses into the curve of your back as he leaves over you. “fuck, you should just tell him. get this over with. let him know that you belong to someone else now. someone who is currently fucking you better than he ever could.”

your protests mirror your resolve and you can already feel your lips forming those exact words before you catch yourself. “i-i cant.” that was too much, right?

gojo didn’t seem to think so. he suddenly pulled out just enough to turn you over, hand still holding your hair hostage as he pushed your face into the mattress effectively ruining your ability to speak properly. 

“tell him, or i will. and i’ll add in every dirty little thing we’ve done leading up to this moment. you don’t belong to him anymore and he should know it. properly.”

‘hey, should i just come over?’ comes that voice again, a constant glutton for punishment.

“no!” you cry out. “i-we can’t- i’m.”

gojo decides to help you out. no longer willing to be a spectator as if he could be called such. “fuck, baby. make those pretty noises for me.”

‘is that someone else? are you with someone right now.’

gojo snatches up the opportunity, hand curling around the phone to place it against the tacky sweat accumulating against the skin between your shoulder blades. you can feel it teetering with each jerk of your body. 

“yeah, she is. apparently she needs help getting her point across. if she wants to contact you  she will do so on her terms. “ he huffs peevishly,“ until then fuck off or you can listen to me fuck her doesn’t matter to me.”

his commanding tone shouldn’t sound so hot. you can’t help but moan as he hits that spot just right. 

a high pitched ‘what the fuck’ grates unpleasantly against the mood you’re so desperate to build to its peak. 

“i take it back, hearing you screech is going to make me go soft. don’t call again.”

‘wait don’t-’ his protest comes a moment too late for gojo’s waning patient as he abruptly cuts off the call and flings the phone somewhere above your head. 

“I imagined that going much smoother in my head,” grunts as he picks up the pace.

your mouth falls open but nothing comes out. you’re unable to blink past the flood of light as you melt into the roll of his hips. there is nothing left for you to do but squeeze around him as you absorb each thrust. 

“i don’t know what i was expecting thinking you could form coherent sentences when i fuck you stupid like this.” his voice is markedly softer now, still agitated but gentler in his touch as he loosens his grip. your head turns without instruction, eagerly catching his mouth in a sloppy kiss. 

the tell tale tremble shudders from one end to the next as you dig your knees into the mattress and gyrate your hips. the angle rewards you with an opportunity to ride his cock straight into nirvana. gojo comes to shatter the already broken cry of release by manipulating speed and precision while you chant his name all the way over the edge. 

his breath comes in short rasps as he follows you over, body drawn up taut as his orgasm washes over.  

gojo’s weight is unforgiving, but thankfully brief when he collapses on top of you before rolling onto his side. he gathers you into his arms and rolls you in against his chest. his fingers chase yours and he brings them to his lips to kiss each one. 

“maybe you should have just gone with your idea and changed numbers.”

somehow you find the air to laugh as your head falls back against his sweaty shoulder. he shares your humor, smile sharp with a new prospect.

“or perhaps we can try again? maybe repeated exposure will do the trick.”

[bangtanloverboys]

song of the broken hearted // pjm

summary - after finding your boyfriend of two years in bed with another woman, you find yourself wandering the beach at the edge of town. little do you know, there's something in the water, waiting for you. wanting you to join them. 

pairing - siren!jimin x female!reader

genre - angst, suspense, mystery, thriller; siren au

word count - 4.2k

warnings - recent break up, mentioned cheating, namjoon is an asshole, mentions/talk of suicide, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, drowning, sad ending, murder i guess?

author’s note - this is slightly inspired by the webtoon siren’s lament but not really; enjoy!

Love sucked. Honestly, you don’t know why you kept on trying to date with your history of bad relationships. Sure maybe some weren’t all that bad; right person, wrong time. But for the majority of them looking back, there was a sea of red flags all over. You don’t know how you could’ve missed them. Then again, you couldn’t help but feel you willingingly looked over them. Ignoring them because deep down you didn’t want to be alone. 

Whatever the reason might’ve been, you somehow always ended up getting your heart broken. 

The last relationship however stung a lot more than your others. Maybe because your exes were upfront with why they wanted to end things with you, which was the usual “not feeling the spark anymore” bullshit. Namjoon, your recent ex, had decided that you were never worth it apparently, seeing as how he admitted to cheating on you and for the entirety of your two year relationship! Worst part was, he didn't even plan on telling you! You’d only found out by accident, having decided to come over to surprise him at his place when you saw him in bed with a girl you’d recognized from his work. Namjoon didn’t even try to defend himself, only rolling his eyes at you while you shouted at him.

Furious and your heart in shatters, you stormed out of his house and just kept walking. You don’t know how long you walked, but it was until you hit the sand of a nearby beach. It was the middle of fall, so besides a few stragglers, it was nearly abandoned. 

With the sun setting below the horizon, you shucked off your shoes and kept walking. The sounds of the waves crashing against the shore filled your mind as the salty sea air grounded you. Once you reached where the water hit against the sand, you sat yourself down, watching the tide rise up ever so slowly. 

All alone, the realization of what had happened was settling in. Tears began to burn as you blinked them back. You didn’t want to cry. You shouldn’t waste tears on a man who clearly never cared about you. But your heart was weak and your mind wasn’t strong enough to keep it together. Wrapping your arms around your legs, you tucked yourself into your knees, as you quietly sobbed. 

You don’t know how long you sat there crying, trying your hardest not to attract any attention to yourself. When you looked up again, it was significantly darker, and a cool breeze brushed over your tear streaked face. Glancing up, you could see the stars just beginning to appear up in the vast darkness of the night sky. 

In your mind’s eye, you could still see Namjoon, laying there in his bed unresponsive as you screamed at him, calling him all sorts of nasty names. He’d only shrugged when you asked him why, but his words stung more than any other break up speech you’ve ever heard, and his was only a sentence, “You’re not worth the full commitment.” The statement rang in your ears as you stared over the roaring black sea. Maybe he was right. Maybe you weren’t worth the commitment. 

A sob unconsciously ripped from your lips as you hugged yourself tighter. The thought was daunting, but was it true? You were rarely the person who broke up with someone, only having ended relationships back in high school. But was the “not feeling the same spark” just a different way to word that you weren’t worth committing to?

Your mind spiraled with those dark thoughts, not knowing what else to think, when a beautiful voice was heard singing over the thundering waves. Perking up, you looked around, trying to find the singer, but spotted no one. The beach had been completely abandoned. You listened intently to the song, trying to place where it was coming from, but the more you listened, the more you felt at ease. All the muscles in your body relaxed as the singer continued on. A sigh fell from your lips as you rose from your spot on the sand. You had to find the owner of this voice, needed it more than anything. 

As you listened on, there was a tingling feeling inside you, telling you the singing was coming from the ocean. Taking a step further, the voice got a little louder. With each step you took, your mind got fuzzier and fuzzier, nothing else mattered but the voice you heard. The cold water didn’t even phase you as it rolled over your feet, in fact the cold felt comforting as it hit against your legs. The further you waded into the water, the louder the voice got, but you saw no one around that could be the source of the singing.

You were nearly waist deep in the water, ready to dive in and swim toward the voice when another deep shout was heard from behind you “Hey!” drowning out the song and pulling back towards reality. “What are you doing out there? Beach is closed!” The voice continued to shout.

Suddenly the freezing water no longer felt as comfortable as it was moments ago. Glancing back over your shoulder, you saw what you presumed to be a lifeguard. You raised your arm, signaling to him you heard and began walking back towards the shore.

Upon reaching the beach, you were approached by the brown haired man, wearing the signature red lifeguard jacket. You must’ve looked like a mess as a look of shock went over his face. “You alright, miss?”

“I’m fine,” you responded, shivering in your soaking wet clothes.

Biting his lip, he shed his jacket and put it over your shoulders, a poor attempt at warming you up. “Are you sure you’re alright? Is there anyone you’d like me to call?”

“I said I’m fine,” you insisted, hugging the red material closer to your body. 

He eyed you suspiciously before nodding. “Alright. But I’m going to have to escort you off the beach.”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay,” you sighed, irritation lacing your voice. He turned before started back inland, leaving you alone for a brief moment. You stared back over the rolling black ocean, hoping to hear the voice again, yet all you heard was the crash of the waves.

Two days had passed since you were at the beach and no matter how much you tried, you couldn’t remember the song you heard. Late at night, you’ll stare up at your ceiling and walk yourself through that night over and over again, trying your damnedest to recall the voice, yet you came up with nothing. You couldn’t name a tune, a note, nor even if the singer was male or female. You were beginning to feel like you had simply gone crazy for a few moments, hallucinating the voice. But with the way you remembered feeling when you heard that song, how all your troubles seemingly were whisked away and how free you felt; there’s no way you couldn’t have imagined it. 

There was one thing you knew though: you had to hear it again.

Which was how you found yourself staring back at the ocean, the sun hanging low in the sky. You were on a more secluded area of the beach, a small cove surrounded by cliffs; a slight precaution to ensure you wouldn’t be interrupted again. You watched as the waves rose and crashed against the sand, waiting. You weren’t even sure how, when, or even if the voice would sing again. But you sat there patiently. 

As the sun fell behind the horizon and the sky grew darker, you slowly began to lose hope. Maybe you were imagining it. Maybe you were so dehydrated from crying for so long and desperate for anything to make you feel any other emotion, you made up the voice to distract you from your broken heart. 

With a sigh, you stood up from your spot on the sand. After dusting the sand off, you began to gather your things in preparation for the small trek back inland. As you straightened up again, you heard it.

The song.

Dropping all your stuff to the ground, you turned to face the raging sea. The singing was emitting from the waters, barely audible over the crashing of the waves. You felt the familiar tingling spread throughout your body as you stepped towards the water again. Like last time, the singing got louder and louder the further you went out. You could tell the water was freezing, yet you didn’t feel it. It felt like you were being wrapped up in a blanket, all soft and safe. 

Unable to walk any further, you started swimming. Dunking your head beneath the surface, the singing was clearer and louder underwater. Your mind was cloudy, wanting to do deeper, to follow the voice. Back up for air, you took a big gulp of air before diving back down into the darkness. The salt water burned your eyes as you looked around, trying to find the source of the song, but it was coming from everywhere. It was all around you.

Your arms grew tired as you pushed deeper and your lungs were burning for air as you swam further down. Every single fiber of your body wanted you to return to above the surface, wanting to breathe. Yet your mind, all cloudy and full of cotton, wanted you to push on. Keep swimming down. Find the voice. 

Farther down, you saw a strange outline in the darkness. It was too big to be a fish, yet it was moving around so fluidly that it had to be some sort of aquatic creature. You weren’t sure if it was your state of mind, or the fact you were slowly losing air, but you knew that whatever that creature was, it was the source of the song. 

You swam even harder now, wanting to get closer to it to see it. But dark spots started creeping through your already blurry vision. The pain your body was in sent a small shock through you, clearing your mind just enough to realize that you needed air. As you pushed yourself back up towards the surface, you heard a faint “Stay with me” echo around in your head. 

You gasped once you broke the surface, air filling your weakened lungs. Your limbs felt like they were made of lead, like you were going to sink back down. Yet your body floated, being pushed around by the waves back towards the shore. Despite just hearing the song, you were unable to recall it yet again. Like your mind had erased the singing from your memory. However, you could still recall the voice, speaking out for you, wanting you to stay. You must be some sort of delirious, as you wanted to follow the request, even still debating on going back down. 

Your weak body washed up against the sand. You were so tired. You didn’t think you’d be able to stand up, let alone walk all the way back home. Crawling away from the water, sand clung to your soaking body. You couldn’t even be bothered by it, you were just too exhausted. Your arms gave out once you reached your things, the sand was warm in contrast to your cold body. With a shiver, you curled up on your side and let your eyes fall shut. You’ll sleep for a few minutes, letting your body regain its lost energy. 

You were back underwater, your vision a lot clearer than before. The shadowy figure still below you, appearing so close yet so far. However, as you swam deeper, you swore the creature was coming towards you. Reaching out for it, a slimy slick hand grabbed yours. Just barely you were able to make out the features of the creature. You weren’t quite sure what you were expecting as it faced you, but you were surprised nonetheless. A male human-like face looked back at you, his skin a ghastly grey color. His eyes were almost completely black, looking up at you like you hung the moon and the stars in the sky. Dark locks swirled around him, framing his face delicately.  

He was the most beautiful man you’ve ever laid eyes on. 

Plump lips melted into a smile as he hand moved to cup your cheek, his clammy fingers brushing against your cheeks. As you leaned into his touch, the song filled your mind. Your head felt all cottony and soft as the singing echoed amongst the water surrounding you. You reached out with your own hand, but as your fingers grazed against his skin, his loving gaze turned sour. His lips parted, and he hissed as he lunged forward.

You awoke with a start, gasping loudly. Above you, the morning sun was shining brightly behind heavy clouds. It was just a dream. Your heart was still beating wildly in your chest as you sat up, the ocean raging even louder than last night. With a stretch, you got yourself back to your feet. Your clothes had dried overnight, yet they were stiff and coated with sand, not making them any less uncomfortable. Thankfully, it appeared that no one attempted to steal your things while you slept as your belongings were still on the sand next to you. Gathering up your stuff, you began the walk back towards your home. 

As you made your way back to the more populated side of the beach, you saw the brown haired lifeguard from the other night making his way toward the cove. When he saw you walking away from that section of the beach, he stopped in his tracks. He had a puzzled look on his face before slowly turning to approach you.

“Hi, I’m sorry to bother you but. . . did you sleep on the beach last night?” He eyed you up and down, taking in your sand covered body.

“Yes. . .” You responded cautiously, hoping you weren’t going to get in too much trouble. 

“Okay, because someone reported a body to be over in that area and uh, no offense-”

“I look like a dead body?” You raised a brow at him.

“Yeah, I’m sorry.” He chuckled nervously. “But this beach is common for suicides, so I wanted to make sure-”

“Wait what?” 

“Uh, police like to keep in on the low but several people have washed up on this beach after drowning. They’re all ruled as suicide because there’s no signs of any struggle. But if you ask me,” he leaned forward, lowering his already deep voice to a whisper, “someone or something is luring them out there.”

You furrowed your brows as you remembered the singing and how it drew you out to follow it. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I’ve looked into it a bit. These so-called ‘suicides’ have happened several times over the past 50 years or so, all on this beach. And they never have any history of mental health issues, or depression,” the lifeguard explained as the two of you started walking away from the water and towards the tower.

“Why are they getting labeled suicides then?”

“Because days before they’re found, they all had a really bad break up.” Your eyes widened at him as he continued to talk. “So the police think they just couldn’t take it, thus suicide.”

“Did they. . . say anything before they died? Leave any notes?” You questioned further.

“I mean, most of them died the night of the break up. But there’s one that did leave something, I wouldn’t classify it as a note though.”

“Why?” You asked.

“Because it didn’t say anything about the break up or wanting to end their lives, it was just ramblings about some song.” He shrugged as you reached the tower. “Pretty sure you could find it somewhere on the internet, there’s a small conspiracy surrounding it all. But everyone agrees with the police.”

“Right, thank you.” You nodded, feeling a bit sick to your stomach.

“Y-you wouldn’t happen to know something, do you?” His voice was laced with concern. 

He reached out to you, but you pulled away from his grasp. “I-I need to go.” With not a second to lose, you turned on your feet as you made a beeline towards the end of the beach, the lifeguard calling after you, but unable to follow.

You felt like your whole world was spinning as you entered your home. You could barely think straight with the knowledge you were given. The mere thought of how close you came to being one of those mysterious suicides was nauseating. You wouldn’t have thought anything of it until the lifeguard mentioned the note about the song. . . Then you remembered how your lungs ached and burned from last night, it was impossible to deny that you had barely slipped away from whatever was calling out from the ocean below. 

Stripping yourself of your sandy clothing, you made your way towards your bathroom. You needed a shower. No longer able to think or be in the clothes you nearly drowned in. Hot water ran down your back as you leaned against the wall, trying to wrap your head around it all. There was one thing you knew for certain, and that was you could not return to the beach. 

As the water rushed down your body, you were able to get some semblance of peace. You gave a sigh of relief as you felt your body relax against the warm water. Shutting your eyes, you leaned your head back underneath the stream of water.

Then you heard it again.

The singing.

Eyes snapping open, you turned to look up at the showerhead, the water still gushing out as the song echoed against the tiled walls. Was it coming from the pipes? As you peered up into the silver nozzle, the warm water suddenly turned ice cold. With a yelp, you shut off the water. Unlike before, the song still played on in your mind. You could still hear it perfectly. 

Not even bothering to grab a towel, you scrambled over to your phone and connected it to your speakers, blasting the loudest rock song you could think of. The shelf your speaker was resting on shook with the base, unable to take the booming music. Yet the eurythmic tune still rang in your ears. To your horror, the blaring music melted into the strange melody , getting louder and louder until it felt like your ears were bleeding. 

Tearing at your hair, you let out an ungodly scream. You fell to your knees, curling up on the floor, stuffing your fingers in your ears to try and block out the song. The song still played on in your mind to no avail. As tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill, it all stopped. The only sound you were able to hear was the muffled noise of the sock music you’d turned on against your covered ears. 

Unplugging your ears, you could hear a faint knocking on your front door. With shaking limbs, you pushed yourself up right. Grabbing your phone, you turned off the music, the knocking still persisting at the door. You scrambled back to your bathroom, quickly wrapping yourself up in a towel before making your way over to answer the front door. 

Peering through the peephole, you spotted your neighbor standing before the door. Pulling the door open a crack, you gave her a smile. “Hi Mrs. Kim.”

“Is everything alright? Someone said they heard a scream,” she asked, sounding genuinely concerned for you.

“Oh uh, that was me,” you confessed, “m-my boyfriend and I were having sex. And he, uh, got a bit carried away.” You internally cringed at the lie, but you knew you couldn’t exactly reveal you were hearing a mysterious song that was driving slowly beginning to drive you insane.

She furrowed your brows at your answer. No doubt assuming you were in danger, she lowered her voice. “Honey, do you need me to call someone?” 

“No! I’m fine. We’re good. I’m so sorry for scaring you, that’s why the music was so loud.” You chuckled nervously as you began to shut the door, but she placed her hand on the door, ceasing any movement.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Mrs. Kim. Again, sorry for the disturbance.” Then you slammed the door shut, not giving her any other chance to question you further. You held your breath until you heard the clicking of her shoes as she walked down the pavement, away from you. Once she was gone, you slid down the door. Hitting the ground, you let go of your towel, letting yourself sit naked on the ground as you let your body calm down from all that had happened. 

You weren’t sure exactly what to do, or how you were supposed to move on from this because clearly avoiding the beach won’t be enough. For a split second, you considered moving further inland; get away from large bodies of water, or maybe water all together, but the idea was ridiculous. You couldn’t avoid water for the rest of your life; you had to hydrate, bathe yourself, hell what would happen if you started crying or sweating? It was an impossible thought to simply avoid water as a whole, but moving further inland wasn’t a bad start. 

Getting to your feet, you started packing a bag. You couldn’t care exactly what clothes you were going to wear or for weather you should prepare for, just stuffing the bag of your belongings until you deemed yourself done. Bag packed, you dressed yourself in some of the clothes still remaining in your dresser. After you put your shoes on, you made your way out of your apartment. 

Immediately, you were greeted with rain pouring down. With a sigh, you walked out from beneath the overhang, ready to walk to the nearest train station. Soon as you stepped out into the rainfall, the singing again filled your mind. You froze as the overwhelming urge to return to the beach slowly grew in the back of your mind. Yet your body refused to follow through, like it knew what was going to happen if you went to that beach. Your grip tightened on your bag as you resisted the pull of the song, but it grew too much. Dropping your bag, you began walking back towards the beach.

Each step you took, the louder the hypnotic melody grew. By the time you’d reached the sand, you were all but consumed by it. The beach was empty as you crossed it, no sign of any other human being. Sand clung to your soaking wet clothes, as if it was the world’s last ditch attempt to tether you to the earth, but the sand simply washed away as you stepped into the water. 

The intoxicating song reverberated around in your head, drowning out the smatter of the rain as you walked further out into the water. No longer able to keep walking, you took a deep breath and dove beneath the waves. You kicked and kicked down until you spotted a familiar outline.

It was the creature!

Unable to contain yourself, you pushed your limbs faster in an attempt to propel yourself deeper. As you swam further down, you noticed the shadow was getting larger; it was swimming towards you, just like in your dream! Reaching out, you felt the familiar thick slime of the hand as it wrapped around your wrist, pulling you in towards its embrace. Despite the darkness surrounding the both of you and the blurriness of your vision, you knew deep in you that this was the same man from your dream. The source of the song. 

His other slick hand came up to cup your cheek, and again, the same voice from the other night echoed in your mind. “Stay with me.”

You opened your mouth to respond, ‘yes’ but immediately water flooded in. Before you even began choking on the salty seawater, the man covered his mouth with yours. You stilled for a moment, a split second of clarity hitting you before you felt his lips begin to move against yours. Your eyes fluttered shut as you returned the kiss, ignoring the burning in your lungs as air slowly slipped away. Completely and utterly drunk on his song and his lips. 

He didn’t pull away from you as the man leaned back, pulling you down deeper into the ocean. You never felt the kick of his legs as you were taken further into the fathomless darkness. 

Pressure began to accumulate on your temples before slowly spreading over your head. The pain grew too much and you pushed yourself away from his kiss, bubbles escaping past your lips. Opening your eyes, you could no longer see anything, the darkness having completely surrounded you. Yet you knew he was still there, holding onto you as you felt his grip on your tighten as he pulled you deeper. 

Wanting to fight back, you raised a fist, but your body was weak. You were running out of air and the pressure was becoming too much. You felt your entire body go slack in his hold. It was hard to tell in the endless blackness, but dark spots began to dance around your vision. You weren’t sure if you’d even closed your eyes or not. How long had it been? Were you out of oxygen yet? You slumped against the hold of the mysterious creature. You could feel its chest vibrating; humming the song to lull you into sleep as your body was pulled into the abysmal darkness.

[retvenkos]

bargained for | n.l.

Grishaverse - Nikolai Lantsov x Reader, fluff requested by @onceupon-a-decembr​

tw: sword fighting

word count: 870

song: sugar we’re goin’ down - fall out boy | ✒️

A/N: alright, so it doesn’t really have to do with the song lyrics, but it carries the vibes. and you cannot tell me this isn’t a stellar nikolai song. it’s a banger.

Summary: It’s a day for sparring, aboard the Volkvolny.

Your swords clashed together, the sound of metal on metal sharp and clear - a symphony of the highest order, an ode to life aboard the Volkvolny. The skies were clear, and for miles, there was nothing but the open ocean. When the sun had been at its highest, Nikolai tossed you your double swords. It was a day for sparring.

Most of the crew had gathered to see your little show, and Nikolai quite enjoyed the spotlight - parrying your blows with efficiency but taking the time to tease you all the while. It was a game of his - a way to rattle you into losing while earning the delight of his crew. It was frustrating, but it would give you the upper hand in the end.

"There's no shame in losing, (Y/n). I was taught by the greats." You pressed him with an overhand cut, and Nikolai blocked your attack with just enough time to shoot you a wink.

There was something bright in his hazel eyes, clear and burning. He was grinning, and all the world seemed to bend to his will. Even now, thick in piracy and swashbuckling adventures, he carried the aura of a prince. 

Oh, how you’d love to wipe that superiority right off his face.

“You don't want to talk?” Nikolai delivered two deft blows, but you countered quickly, intent on not letting him gain any ground. He seemed to see the dangerous intensity in your eyes, because he thrusted with a move that drew the two of you close, your blades locking playfully they way they wouldn’t, in a real duel. Nikolai taunted,  “Afraid you'll lose your focus?"

You rocked him off balance, and when you were certain he had gotten used to the steady pattern of your attacks, you changed the pace, quick to advance once more. Pulling your second sword out of your sheath, you lunged fast and didn't stop for Nikolai to regain his balance. You continued to lash out with a series of thrusts, pressing Nikolai backward as he hurriedly tried to counter and block your swift attacks.

You felt the steadiness of the wood beneath you, the rhythmic sway of the ocean, and the gentle breeze. Your footwork was graceful, and you had reserved your energy - everything was in favor of you winning.

Soon, you had backed Nikolai up against the edge of the boat. With one fluid motion, you disarmed him. His sword clanged on the wooden planks. 

"What was that about losing?" You mused, holding him at the end of two blades. You slapped his cheek lightly with the flat end of your left sword.

Nikolai grinned. In a flash, he swiped your legs with his own and knocked you off balance. You fell to your knees, and Nikolai had a dagger pressed to your chest before you could recover.

"Why don't you tell me?"

The crew cheered and laughed, talking amongst themselves as you and Nikolai sheathed your weapons. A few were exchanging small purses of coin. You scoffed when Tolya handed over money to the slight Fabrikator you had on board. The young girl teased Tolya as though he were her brother, and not a stoic pirate who could snap her in two.

"That’ll be the last time Tolya will bet on you,” Nikolai said, picking his sword up and examining it’s edge. His eyes met yours briefly. “He doesn’t like to lose coin on bets.”

"I would have won had it been a real duel," you grumbled, wiping sweat off your brow, "I had you, first."

"But I had a trick up my sleeve," Nikolai shot back, accepting claps on the back, but never losing sight of you. You leaned against the side of the Volkvolny, facing him with calculated disbelief. "I always had the choice to pull the dagger out."

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. "I never gave you a chance."

Nikolai walked over, and you both turned to the clear blue of the True Sea. You were smiling, some of the excitement wearing off and leaving you filled with a pleasant sort of energy - like fizz in a drink. The world was perfect here. On the sea, it was just the two of you and a world of possibility. It was glittering before you, bright as a diamond.

"I had plenty of chances; I just never took them."

You turned to him, a mischievous glint in your eye. "Is that so, Sturmhond?"

Nikolai leaned in, and you could see the way he savored the anticipation that hung in the air, thriving off of the adrenaline that still pumped in his veins. "I could have had you at my mercy whenever I wanted,” he mumbled. Then he kissed you.

You chuckled against his lips but pulled him closer, holding him by the collar of his shirt. He tasted of ocean spray, and when his hands wandered to your back, he felt like warm sunlight.

You broke apart smiling, and after a moment, you narrowed your eyes and smoothed out the wrinkles in his shirt. "I'm winning, next time."

"Are you sure about that?"

"I'm more than you bargained for—" you leaned in to whisper in his ear "—Sobachka."

-- taglist: @musicallisto, @catsbooksandmusic, @fives-cup-of-coffee​ // message me if you want to be added!

[moonbaby26]

Title: The Man from the Sky

Pairing: Loki x Goddess!Reader

Summary: You were a Greek sea goddess, just enjoying a typical day of nothing when a strange new god dropped into your land.

Warnings: None yet. There is smut in future chapters already written. Will post more soon.

Notes: I’m aware that what we’d think of as ancient Greece well predates who we’d call the vikings and their like cruising around the seas. This doesn’t take place at the height of the Greek pantheon worship, but old enough in human history that some men still believed in both sets of deities.

Chapters: Next Chapter Here

My Masterlist

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You dipped your feet a little deeper into the warm water as it lapped the edges of the rock you sat upon. The sea was calm today, and the wind gentle as the nymphs chatted around you about the usual things. A bit of gossip one had heard from a local river nymph, a new shipwreck one had found, status of a fish migration from another.

You wouldn’t exactly call it boring though, you specifically chose these more remote areas when you came ashore for this very reason. It was so much more unlikely for you to run afoul of mortals here, or even others of your own kind that you may not feel like putting on airs with at this very moment.

It was so quiet in fact, that you were considering getting up to go lay in the sand on the beach in a few minutes and enjoy a nice nap in the sunlight.

That was before the boom which echoed through the air all around you. Somewhat like thunder, but not quite as all the nymphs fell silent.

When nothing came after, you felt all their eyes then turning to you. Their voices piped back up soon enough, though the tones in them changed to all nerves now.

“Do you wish to leave, milady?”

“Could it be Zeus?”

“But it didn’t sound like him.”

“Is there a volcano nearby?”

“What else could it be?”

“I don’t know what it was, I’ve never heard that sound.” You finally said, though now looking inward to the land. You were at least sure that the sound was not of the sea. But you refused to give in to the nymphs’ skittishness too quickly. And without real reason to leave, eventually you all did start to relax again.

Yet then came the cries. “Goddess, mistress please!” That cry absolutely was from the land as you looked in time to see the river nymph you’d met earlier in the day now running from the tree line and down onto the sands. She stumbled slightly, just before reaching you where the sea met the rocks.

She was panting, clearly having run some distance as she continued. “I’m so glad to still find you here,” She bowed slightly, only because she didn’t know you well enough to realize you didn’t require this.

“What is it?” You asked simply, honestly more curious now than anything else. What could she have seen that would strike her so alarming? Any nymph worth their ilk would know every creature, every natural occurrence, all that existed within their lands.

“There is a man in the forest, he came from the sky!” Yet she continued quickly, sure you would only think of Olympus. “But I do not recognize him as one of your own family. And his clothing, he is not of our territory. This I am sure, my goddess. I watched him only long enough to see that he was very angry. I am afraid of his intentions here.”

A man? But not truly a man. Mortals did not come from the sky.

“An angry god?” You said, now standing as you then stepped down from the rocks. The forest belonged to Artemis truthfully. But being this close to the sea, you thought that the older goddess would forgive you this if it came down to it. She would rather the nymphs be protected you were sure from any childish acts of a god’s wrath that may now come into play here.

You had brought no armor, the possibility of battle so far from your mind when you’d come ashore today. But that didn’t mean you travelled completely defenseless. “Bring me my spear please.” You requested of the sea nymphs.

Though they were still anxious, they responded dutifully, one sinking beneath the waves before reappearing with the glinting weapon in hand. It shone a brilliant silver, sea foam still running off its blue spear tip as she handed it to you out of the water.

“Show me the way, and I will investigate this stranger.” You spoke plainly, hopping down onto the sands as you strode barefoot towards the forest, spear in hand. “We will keep our distance as best we can, we don’t seek conflict, understood?”

“Yes, milady.” You heard, the sea nymphs staying behind you as the river nymph moved in front to lead you upward, the sand transitioning to rocky soil and the sparse vegetation and trees beginning to increase as you climbed the hillside.

For the sea nymphs, you could hear them losing their footing here and there in the loose soil, themselves of course far more adapted to swimming the ocean’s depths at your side rather than hiking up into the forests.

You did hope you were not putting any of them in danger. But if you felt they truly were in harm’s way, you would have no qualms in telling them to retreat back to the water at once.

“Up ahead,” The river nymph whispered to you, pointing towards a clearing you could now see leveling off in the distance. But the opening looked so strange with the density of the other trees now around you.

“Was that always there?” You asked her, knowing something unnatural when you saw it, even when this far from the water.

“No,” She confirmed. “When the sky opened up, it carved out the land as well. He appeared when that force receded.”

“Understood.” You replied, though in truth not really understanding at all as you motioned for all the others to proceed no further. You’d never seen something like this. “I will go alone. If he should attack me, please return to the sea to seek help.”

They fidgeted, looking unhappy but not arguing your choice. “Please be careful, goddess.”

You nodded, but kept on slowly. You tried to remember what you’d been taught as a little girl about stalking and hunting on land. So many moons ago, running through the forests with Artemis and at times Pan, being mentored before returning to the sea to your father, mother, and so many siblings.

But the closer you came, the more you realized that the stranger would likely not notice any sound of light footsteps approaching or ground shifting. As you neared, you saw his form pacing back and forth in the clearing, seemingly cursing to himself in a language that was not your own.

Yet it still sounded familiar. Abruptly you knew where you had heard a dialect like this before. It sounded so much like those voyagers from the northern seas. The ones with their longboats and course beards, sometimes with hair as red as fire as they fished and sang and fought.

And he did look as pale as them as well. But with hair like black of night, and a frame far more slender than the burly mortals you’d seen rowing those northern boats along. And just as the river nymph had warned, his clothing confused you as well. Rich green robe, but with black and gold as well. It was wholly foreign and exotic to you in its styling, as was he.

When she’d said a strange man had arrived, honestly you had also expected someone older in appearance. He looked quite youthful to be honest, even as his brow remained furrowed and his fists clenched at his sides.

And just when you thought his feet may actually cut a path in the earth from his agitated pacing, he finally slowed, then stopped all together.

This is when you froze as well, knowing you now had a decision to make. Should you keep to your hiding, just to hope he should eventually leave in whatever fashion he came? Or should you reveal yourself to question his identity and purpose here?

“Done spying yet, or do you intend to actually do something with that spear?” A cutting voice spoke abruptly to your side, so suddenly that you almost lost your footing, shocked as the same man emerged from behind other trees only feet from you.

But you still saw him in the clearing as well, at least you did momentarily before the image of him there dissolved, leaving only the form now nearest you.

“You speak my language?” Was all you questioned instead of answer him though, as he had said those last words only in your tongue. You also kept focusing on backing away as you chose to keep a safer distance. He was some sort of illusionist at least then, which could escalate the danger here very quickly if he made you lose your bearings.

And he was starting to circle you a bit you realized as he began to walk again. But you willed yourself to keep your spear at a neutral position, rather than aim at him, still not intending to provoke attack if it could be prevented. You had no idea what other strengths he might have, and your primary goal was still to keep the nymphs from getting caught in any crossfire.

“Not all of us are so uneducated,” He snapped back at you, still in your language, though you could detect that foreign accent underneath.

You were not wholly unused to rudeness though, yet it had been a very long time since you could recall being spoken to directly in such a manner. It was more the bickering between others in the palace that you were sometimes forced to be party to. Which was only another reason you often favored the relative isolation of the mortal world.

“You need not be so offended, stranger. I only came to see who had entered our land, and to protect my friends if need be.” You answered as reserved in tone as you could.

“Then you have done your duty, girl, and can now be gone. I came here to be alone. If I was actually intending to plunder this wasteland of nothingness, your little cohort never would have made it back to you to begin with.”

You stared, a little coldness entering your eyes then. So that was what had given you away. He’d already been aware of the river nymph to begin with, and had been waiting for someone to return the entire time while leaving that illusion of himself still in the clearing as distraction.

And he’d actually referred to you as ‘girl’. Did he really think you just one of the nymphs then? It was hard to say if he was intentionally trying to goad you, or if he really was so unfamiliar to not realize you for what you actually were.

You straightened a bit, replying, “Insults to our homeland aside, I will leave you to this quiet then, if you should at least tell me your name. You are clearly not of Olympus, and we still have right to know who it is who traverses into this particular land of mortals which we hold sovereignty over.”

He scoffed, clearly wishing to not speak to you even a moment longer. But in the way his chest puffed slightly, you thought it was only pride then that made him physically incapable of denying his identity.

He actually moved closer to you as well, that agitation still rising further in his voice. “Little fool, you stand before Loki! Son of Odin the Allfather. I am god of mischief, prince of Asgard. Your witless mortals should count their blessings that an Asgardian should ever see fit to even set foot here!”

You didn’t know if you’d been quick enough to mask the true surprise from your face. You had already assumed him a god. But never...never had you actually laid eyes on an Asgardian. They never came to this part of the world as far as you knew. And was he telling the truth? Was he really a son of Odin?

This stranger’s arrogance aside, if he were a child of Odin, you knew your own father would be furious with you if you were intentionally insulting now. Asgard and Olympus had never had the closest ties, but you were not enemies either. Asgard was honored by the mortals of the north, and Olympus still honored by those of the south, though perhaps not quite as much as the true olden days.

It took real will, but you bowed graciously to him in return. “It is an honor to meet you then, Loki, son of Odin.” As you straightened up, in his eyes you could see he was trying to judge you as sincere or not. But you just continued smoothly. “As promised, I shall leave you to your thoughts then. But I would be unmannered to not offer my assistance should you need a hostess in your time here as a guest in our land. My name is (Y/N), daughter of-”

You hesitated only the briefest moment, “of the sea,” is what you decided on though. Unlike Loki, you preferred a little anonymity with strangers. You didn’t wish to be targeted just for your lineage.

And with that, you turned, beginning to walk back towards the beach, even as you finished talking. “If you should need me, you need only find the sea’s edge and call for me. One of our creatures will hear you soon enough and seek me out.”

But some odd part of you regretted not being able to see his expression as you left. You wondered if you only would have seen more disdain and condescension at your offer.

Regardless, he said nothing else and soon enough you were back on the sand, the nymphs chittering in a mix of horror and awe around you.

“Who does he think he is, speaking to you that way!?”

“Do you really think he’s of Asgard? Shouldn’t we alert your father?”

“Why would he even come here? He seemed so bitter. Do you think they cast him out?”

“I’d cast him out, with a dirty attitude like that!”

You looked to the horizon, just taking a breath. “I don’t think we need to rush and tell my father just yet. But I do know where I want to go now.” You looked to the river nymph briefly though, “Please have those in the forest keep a distant eye on him. Should he leave or do anything else of note, please let us know.”

You glanced back to the sea nymphs then. “The rest of you return to the oceans. I’m going to Olympus, to the libraries there. I want to find out more about Asgard, to see if he is who he says he is. I’ll return to the water soon.”

They all nodded, “Yes, milady. Please let us know what you find!”

“I will,” you agreed, just watching them dissolve back into the waves.

Were you excited perhaps? Or just very curious? Nothing interesting in this way had happened in ages. You were determined to learn all you could on this new arrival.

—————————

The Olympians had been a little surprised to see you gracing the halls there. So many of your cousins had dropped in time and again to say hello, curious themselves of why you were out of the water this long and seemingly such a bookworm all of the sudden.

And you did read for days. All you could find on Asgard, on Odin, the Norse mortals, and their language. You found record that Odin had born two sons, honestly an oddly low number you thought in comparison to the many children of your own kings.

But there in these tomes, were those two names, Thor and Loki. Thor, god of thunder, amusing of course in comparison to Zeus, king of all, including lightning. But also Loki, god of mischief, just as he’d said.

You were surprised, but enthralled as you actually found a drawing of Loki within the book. Though not completely accurate you thought, you still recognized that type of clothing. The green and gold, and the pale skin and black hair with his icy blue eyes. You tilted your head a little, looking at the gold helmet he wore in the artist’s depiction, with long horns curving from it like those of a great beast.

Was he really a beast? Or just a too arrogant manchild? And why did you increasingly wish to find out?

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(Continued in next chapter here)

[ghostdrew22]

angst fic where ravenclaw!reader has thalassophobia and is playing with the water by the shore in the dark lake with the necklace draco gave her before they broke up a few years back when the new girl he’s been going out with throws the necklace into the middle of the lake in spite, and the reader cannot afford to lose it djeiwis sorry if it’s messy u dont have to do it ure uncomfyyy

Prompts:

If you die, I’m going to kill you.

Jump In || Draco Malfoy

Requested: Yes Pairing: Draco Malfoy x fem!reader Warnings: ANGST, a bit of swearing, panic attacks and thalassophobia mentioned. Summary: Years after breaking up with Draco you find that the last gift he gave you is still the only thing comforting you, and his new girlfriend doesn’t like that.

WORDS : 3546

Gleaming, twinkling Eyes like sinking ships on waters So inviting, I almost jump in

The crescent moon outside begs for your company and you oblige, preferring to be alone than stuck in a room full of people who pity you. You lift the bottom half of your dress from the ground and sneak out of the ballroom nonchalantly, anxiety dissipating as the soft breeze comes in contact with your face.

The sound of your heels clacking against the cobblestone fills the air as you walk toward the boardwalk hanging above the lake, and it reminds you of a time when Draco would bring you down here. The lake behind the Malfoy Manor has always been subject to your fear, and you rarely ever go toward it, but tonight you’ll do almost anything to feel alone and normal for once.

The tiny ripples forming on the surface send shivers running down your spine and you look up at the sky immediately in an attempt to subdue your anxiety. A few meters away lies the ballroom, full of dignitaries and old family friends of the Malfoy’s who attend their annually ball every time without fail, and you can hear the faint sound of laughter mixed with a beautiful crescendo. You shut your eyes, take a deep breath and drag your fingers up to your neck to toy with necklace lying around it, as you try to imagine that you’re anywhere else.

You’d thought that it would be easier, coming to the ball and seeing him with his new girlfriend, but it had proved to be a bigger challenge than you’d anticipated, and residual feelings that you’d been trying to stuff down for months had resurfaced like anchors being pulled up from the bottom of the sea. It reminded you of what he said that day, “I’m yours forever, even if you’re not mine.”, and the only thing that stopped you from running back into his arms was the chain hanging around your neck.

A silver chain with a midnight blue sapphire dangling on its end, worth one of your arms and a gift from the blond himself. He had given it to you as a promise, one to love you till the sun stopped rising, and at the time you had thought that it was the perfect gesture. But reality hit and you soon realized that a life with Draco Malfoy would be one filled with envy and uneasiness, and you knew then that you both deserved more.

The necklace’s monetary value reminds you that Draco belongs to a long and esteemed family line which demands attention that you cannot cope with. But the fact that it had been his proclamation of love reminds you that in order for you both to lead happy lives, you must be apart. The way it gleams beneath Chandeliers is so captivating that it always brings you back to earth; a life with Draco is inviting, but some invitations mustn’t be accepted.

But I don't like a gold rush, gold rush I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch Everybody wants you Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you

All eyes instantly fell on him the second that he appeared; sporting that notorious smile which always brought people to their knees, and a priceless suit that hugged his figure so well it made all the straight men positively envious. A true Malfoy; charming, rich, attractive, easily the whole package. You didn’t get a chance to speak with him because he was instantly preoccupied with the ramblings of his mother as she dragged him around the room with pride, showing off the son that she’d done such a good job at raising.

Draco’s life had always been politics and he’d been raised to invariably stand tall, look presentable, get good grades, converse well. You watched him in awe every time, admiring the grace and ease with which he conducted himself. But it made you wonder when he’d been taught the art of letting the spotlight go, to focus all of his attention on the one he loves instead of the search for approval. And the answer was that he hadn’t, Draco never grew out of the desire to have everyone’s praise and approval.

‘If everyone loves you, if everyone wants to either be you or be with you, then you’ve succeeded.’ He’d told you late one night after one these balls. You’d looked at him with pity, not having the heart to tell him that love and validation are not synonymous, and you’d hugged him so hard that somehow you both knew it was all coming to an end soon.

He grew up being a magnet to both jealousy and admiration, a symphony of applause being the background track to the movie of his life, and he didn’t know how to live any other way. When all you’ve ever known is lustful stares from fellow peers, stolen glances at the back of your head, and unbridled acclaim masked behind attraction, then it’s hard to put that life behind and settle for the love of only one person.

Walk past, quick brush I don't like slow motion, double vision in rose blush I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush Everybody wants you But I don't like a gold rush

He truly was magnificent though, even you couldn’t deny. Years ago, when he’d walked down the stairs in one of those clad black suits, he had met you at the bottom of the stairwell and you could’ve sworn that you were floating on cloud 9. He had smiled so brightly at the sight of you, had laughed so sweetly in the space of your ear, and fit so tightly into your side like it was a home made only for him, that you were intoxicated on the feeling of him and hadn’t noticed what was happening.

You were falling in love. You weren’t flying, no, you didn’t have wind beneath mystical wings that you’d somehow managed to grow. You were falling, and at a speed so treacherous that you didn’t even realise it was happening until it was too late. One day you were falling, and the next you were ruins buried so far into the ground that you couldn’t even tell where the earth stopped and you started.

Falling in love with him was fast, like a bullet train, but everything after was so slow that you felt as if you weren’t even moving at all.

What must it be like to grow up that beautiful? With your hair falling into place like dominos I see me padding 'cross your wooden floors With my Eagles t-shirt hanging from the door At dinner parties, I call you out on your contrarian shit And the coastal town we wandered 'round had never seen a love as pure as it And then it fades into the gray of my day old tea 'Cause it could never be

Promises to run away together and start a life somewhere off in a distant town.

Fingertips, laced with the narcotic effect of young love, tracing lines across the expanse of each other’s faces and trying to figure out which of the other’s features would be inherited by your children.

Dreams about a time when your lives would no longer be dictated by the paths your parents had set out for you, but instead by the spontaneity and reassurance that came with endearment.

Tastes of tea replaced instead with the taste of each other as long-forgotten tisanes made home on bedside tables because you both got lost in the haze of tenderness.

Arguments about mundane and useless concepts that would go on for longer than necessary, because he insisted on disagreeing with everything, and always ended with your acute responses.

Lives that had once lacked passion, that had once been so dull they compared to Snape’s drawling, instead replaced with all the colours that the world had to offer.

It was the perfect life, the one you two had planned.

But it was too perfect to ever be real.

You take a deep breath and unhook the necklace to observe it once more, hoping that it’ll provide some comfort for the ache in your chest.

'Cause I don't like a gold rush, gold rush I don't like anticipating my face in a red flush I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch Everybody wants you Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you Walk past, quick brush I don't like slow motion double vision in rose blush I don't like that falling feels like flying 'til the bone crush Everybody wants you But I don't like a gold rush

“Y/N.” A voice slurs behind you.

You turn with furrowed eyebrows and roll your eyes when you see who it is, “Pansy.”

“Don’t be rude.” She hisses and hiccups as she stumbles toward you, “What are you doing out here?”

“Could ask you the same thing.” You narrow your eyes at her, “Are you drunk?”

“Just a tad.” She replies as she hiccups again and finally stands before you. You watch silently as she gracefully sits on the wood below her, making sure not to create creases in her dress or fall over in her heels.

“Shouldn’t you be in there? On his arm like a trophy?” You ask, and inwardly groan when you hear how jealous you sound.

“Probably.” She shrugs and looks out into the water. “It doesn’t matter though, I’m not you.”

She looks up and into your eyes, you look away immediately. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to take from that.”

“Yes, you do.” She states bluntly, “He told me why you left him. That was really selfish of you.”

You gasp and turn to look at her, “How dare you? You have no idea-“

“No, actually, I do.” She gets up from the ground swiftly as a fire rages in her eyes, “You think I don’t know what it’s like to be like him? We’re the same, we were practically raised on the same blueprint. Despite what you think, there’s a lot more to the issue than what lays on the surface.”

“Oh and I guess you have all the answers?” You spit out with a scoff.

“I thought Ravenclaws were meant to be smart.” She shakes her head and hiccups as she turns to face the water, “Draco’s entire life has always just been this.” Pansy turns and gestures toward the Manor with a grimace.

“It’s always been about being the best in the room, just so that he can earn five seconds of approval from his parents. But you came, and you showed him more, you gave him a glimpse of what love feels like. Then, because you were scared and couldn’t hack it, you left him.” She continues and you grip the necklace tightly in anger.

“That’s not what happene-“

“How can you possibly expect him to come back to me, to this bullshit, when he’s experienced actual happiness? How is he supposed to come back from you?” She finally turns to face you and you hear a slight crack in her voice with the last words, “I love him so much and if I could make him half as happy as you do then I would.”

“You can.” You breathe out shakily, “If you two try a little more then you’ll realise why it just makes sense.”

“Love isn’t about sense Y/N. It’s not about appearances, it’s not about applause, it’s not about any of the crap that him and I were raised to prioritize.”

“You call it crap but that’s all he knows, and he just isn’t ready to give it all up.”

“Why do you get to decide that for him?” She tilts her head to the side and raises her eyebrows, you look away from her.

“I should probably get back inside.” You mutter as you start to turn toward the manor.

“You’re righ-“ She gasps and you turn to see what’s shocked her, “You still have it?”

“Have what?”

“The necklace.” She points to your hand and you nod awkwardly in agreement, “I helped him pick it out.”

“Oh.”

“A sapphire to match your virtue and faithfulness.” She says absent-mindedly as her eyes lock on the piece of jewellery. “Guess he got that wrong.”

She laughs coldly and you scrunch your face in confusion, “Excuse me?”

“You’re just like the rest of them.” Before you even know what’s happening she’s reached for the necklace in your hand, “You love him until it’s no longer convenient, until the paint starts to chip.”

“That’s not true.” Your voice comes out shaky and lacking conviction, it makes her laugh again in disgust.

“And then who has to pick up the fallen pieces? Me.” She continues to ramble as she walks toward the edge of the boardwalk, you feel your breathing start to pickup as you try to focus on her instead of the lake behind her. “As if I don’t have my own pieces to pick up.”

“Pansy, please just come here so we can talk about this nicely.” You respond and swallow.

“No. You don’t deserve a civil conversation.” She spits out as she finally reaches the edge of the boardwalk and hangs the necklace out by her arm, “In fact, you don’t deserve anything. You don’t deserve his love and you definitely don’t deserve this pendant.”

“No!”

What must it be like to grow up that beautiful? With your hair falling into place like dominoes My mind turns your life into folklore I can't dare to dream about you anymore

Everything after falling in love with Draco happened in slow motion. You don’t know how, or when, but your life had become a slackening slideshow of bad decisions.

You hold your breath as you watch the necklace fall into the lake. It’s as though minutes, hours, days pass in that moment, but you know that it’s merely a few seconds. When the splash finally sounds, you let out a huge gasp and Pansy laughs as she turns to leave.

Panic sets in and you start to contemplate your options. You could jump in and get it yourself? No, that’s absurd, you’re not going to overcome your fear that easily. You could rush into the manor and find someone who’s willing to get it for you? No, no one would take you seriously.

You shake your head and decide to just do the easiest thing; try and work up the courage to get it yourself. You start to pull off your heels and scrunch up your dress so that you can step into the water and you walk toward the edge of the boardwalk.

But as soon as you’re near the water you realise that you can’t do it and your panic rapidly worsens. You step back a few paces before falling to the ground and pulling your head into your knees as silent sobs begin to shake your core.

Breaths, in rapid beats, are going to and from your lungs as the sound of the water swishing fills your ears. Nausea begins to set in your stomach as you think more and more about your terrible predicament, your fear of bodies of water and your sadness at losing the necklace combining to form one indestructible lump in the pit of your stomach.

“Y/N? Are you out here?” A voice calls out from a yard or two away and you try to recognize it, but everything is foggy in your state of trepidation.

“Shit, Y/N!” The voice calls out once more and you hear footsteps pick up to a run as the person approaches you. “I swear to Merlin, if you die I’m going to kill you!”

You realise that the person still hasn’t noticed you, and is probably assuming the worst, so you try your best to croak out a word- any word.

“Here.” You manage to rasp out between sobs and wheezes, and the person immediately runs toward you.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” They ask as they pull your head out from your knees and you try to nod slowly.

You blink back a few tears and try to focus on the face in front of you, “The- the-“ You try to say and shake your head of the confusion as the words refuse to formulate.

“Hey, breathe princess.”

You recognize the nickname and then soon enough your eyes register that Draco’s kneeling in front of you. “Draco?”

“Yes, it’s me.” He responds softly as he cups your face in his hands and tries to wipe a few of your tears, “Take a few deep breaths for me, yeah?”

You nod and do as told, breathing until you finally calm down and manage to think clearly again. “I’m okay.” You breathe out and he sighs in relief.

“I was so worried, Pansy came in rambling about getting back at you and something about tossing and water- And I was just so scared that she’d thrown you in or something, because I know that you can’t swim and you’re terrified of the lake so I-“

“Hey, slow down, I’m okay. I’m right here.” You respond and manage a weak smile. He nods and sighs again. “She didn’t toss me into the water, though I think she would’ve liked to. She threw in the necklace. Shit! The necklace, it’s still down there!” You exclaim as you try to stand up but find that your legs are asleep, and end up coming back down instantly.

“Calm down. What necklace?”

“The one you gave me, the one with the sapphire that you said was a family heirloom?” You ramble and he furrows his eyebrows.

“You still have that?”

“Yes, I do. And it’s at the bottom of the lake and I need to get it back!” You stand up and Draco immediately does the same, placing his hands on your shoulders to keep you still.

“It’s just a necklace Y/N, you don’t need it.”

“It’s not just a necklace, it’s-“ You pinch your nose and sigh, “It just means a lot to me, okay?”

He narrows his eyebrows but nods in understanding, “Okay.” He steps back from you and pulls off his suit jacket, looking absolutely magnificent with his toned shoulders showing beneath the well-fitted shirt.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to get it for you.” He shrugs and you shake your head.

“You don’t have to, I can figure something out.”

“You tried to figure it out and you had a full on panic attack, I’m the best option.” He says sternly as he looks at you and you nod in agreement, “Now just wait, very far away, and let me find it for you.”

“Thank you.” You call out behind him but he doesn’t respond.

At dinner parties I won't call you out on your contrarian shit And the coastal town we never found will never see a love as pure as it 'Cause it fades into the gray of my day old tea 'Cause it will never be

“Here you go, in perfect condition.” He says as he drops the necklace into your hands and runs a hand through his hair. He looks gorgeous and you look down to avoid getting lost in his eyes.

“Your suit is wet.” You mumble with a sniff and he chuckles, the sound makes your heart race.

“We have magic, I’ll dry up.”

“Thank you.” You whisper as you finally look up at him and he smiles, that same hypnotic smile. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without it.”

“It’s just a necklace Y/N.” He smiles softly and you shake your head as tears begin to stream down your face again.

“No, it’s not just a necklace.” You sniff, “It’s you and I. It’s all that I have left of the love that we had, it’s all that I have left of the life we were going to build together.”

“Y/N.” The sternness in his voice makes you swallow hard, but you pull your hand up to indicate that you’re not done.

“Let me talk, please.” He nods and you continue, “This little gem is all the words that we never had the chance to say. It’s the nights we would’ve spent climbing into bed together, in our little house that’s tucked safely into a small town. It’s the cups of coffee I was going to make you when you woke up in the mornings, and the cups of tea you would’ve made me when we went to sleep. This little gem is the only thing I have to remind me that our love was real.”

“It also doesn’t hurt that it costs a fortune huh?” He asks with a grin, despite the fact that there’s sadness in his eyes, and you nod with a choked out laugh.

“Definitely a bonus.” You say as you laugh a little more and wipe away a few tears.

Draco pulls the necklace out of your hands and opens it to put it around your neck once again, and you turn around so he can put it on. “Look, Y/N, life is too short to fill up with ridiculous mistakes. You left me, like I never mattered to you, and it broke me.”

You turn back around quickly, “That wasn-“

He twists you back around abruptly, “Let me talk now.” You nod and he continues to hook the chain around your neck. “It took me months to decipher what you meant when you said that I had too much love for the spotlight, that I didn’t have the capacity to let it go. It took me months to finally grasp what you meant when you said that people fall at my feet, that my contrarian demeanor is a crowd-puller. And the recognition hurt, a lot, because I realised that you we right about most of it.”

You feel his fingers leave your neck as he places a soft kiss on your shoulder, “What was I wrong about?”

He pulls you back to face him and smiles as he looks down at you, “The only thing you were wrong about was my unwillingness to let it go.” He pulls you into his arms for a hug, and you sigh in his arms.

“You can’t just leave this life Draco, we both know it isn’t that simple.” You muffle into his chest and the vibrations of his chuckles make you smile.

“That’s where you’re wrong angel, I can just leave this life. You never gave me the option but,” You pull apart and he smiles so wide that you think his face might come apart, “I would give it all up, for you.”

Gleaming, twinkling Eyes like sinking ships on waters So inviting, I almost jump in

His eyes are shining as they look down at you with adoration and commitment, and it takes all the strength you have left inside to not pull him back into your arms. He brings his fingers up to the sapphire and rubs his thumb along it.

“It’s not all you have Y/N.” He pulls your chin up so you look him in the eyes, “I’m still right here.”

~~~

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hi lovies! guess who’s finally feeling good enough to write again! :) we’re going to ignore the fact that the FOOLWAG sequel is beating my ass though

I will not lie, I had a great time writing this, possibly one of my favourite requests by far. I was originally going to make the ending angsty but I figured  @evermoreeve (thx sweetie<3) reminded me that we all deserve a happy ending now and then.

anyway, i love you all,

jean <3