#i refuse to emotionally engage with this right now but some other time i will let it destroy me

[yeotopiaa]

Ateez reaction to you saying you hate them during an argument

I hope you'll like it !

Don't forget to request, give me some ideas ! it helps me a lot !

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. Seonghwa

The hurt and defensive boyfriend:

When you say you hate him during an argument, Seonghwa's immediate reaction is to become defensive and hurt. He may feel like you're attacking him personally and may lash out in response.

He may say things like, "How can you say that after everything I've done for you?" or "I can't believe you would say something so hurtful."

. Hongjoong

The understanding and communicative boyfriend:

As the argument between you and Hongjoong heats up, you start to feel overwhelmed with frustration. You lash out and say something you don't really mean - that you hate him. Almost instantly, you regret your words.

But instead of reacting defensively, Hongjoong takes a deep breath and says, "Okay, I understand that you're upset right now. Let's take a break and cool off, and then we can talk this out calmly."

He gives you space to calm down and process your emotions, and when you're ready, he approaches you with empathy and understanding. He acknowledges your feelings and takes responsibility for his part in the argument, and together you're able to work through your issues and come out even stronger.

. Yunho

The reflective and self-improving boyfriend:

When you say you hate him during an argument, Yunho's reaction is to take a step back and reflect on his behavior. He recognizes that something he did or said must have hurt you, and he wants to understand how he can improve.

He may say things like, "I'm sorry that I hurt you. Can you help me understand what I did wrong so I can work on it?" or "I never want to make you feel like this again. What can I do to make things better?"

. Yeosang

The apologetic and remorseful boyfriend:

As soon as you say you hate him during an argument, yeosang's face falls and he immediately looks apologetic. He takes responsibility for whatever he did that caused the argument and tries to make things right.

He apologizes sincerely and tries to understand your feelings. He may even offer to do something to make it up to you, like cooking your favorite meal or taking you out on a date.

Yeosang is good at owning up to his mistakes and working to make things right, and can be a great partner when it comes to conflict resolution.

. San

The patient and understanding boyfriend:

When you say you hate him during an argument, San remains calm and patient. He doesn't get defensive or escalate the situation, but instead tries to understand why you feel the way you do.

He may ask questions like, "Can you tell me more about why you're feeling this way?" or "What can I do to help make things better?" He's willing to listen to your perspective and work together to find a resolution.

San is great at handling conflict in a healthy way and can be a valuable partner in a relationship.

. Mingi

The emotionally distant boyfriend:

Mingi's reaction to you saying you hate him during an argument is to shut down emotionally. He becomes distant and withdrawn, refusing to engage with you or acknowledge your feelings.

He may feel uncomfortable with conflict and may struggle with emotional intimacy. Mingi may need space and time to process his emotions before he can come back to the conversation with a more open mind and heart.

. Wooyoung

The defensive and confrontational boyfriend:

When you say you hate him during an argument, Wooyoung's first instinct is to become defensive. He starts to raise his voice and make accusations, and you both end up getting even more upset.

He refuses to acknowledge your feelings and instead tries to turn the blame back onto you. The argument escalates and you both end up saying hurtful things to each other.

But afterward, he would calm down and listen to your feeling about the argument then he would feel guilty for what he said, and you would too.

. Jongho

The dismissive and nonchalant boyfriend:

When you say you hate him during an argument, Jongho's reaction is to brush it off and act like it's not a big deal. He may even make a joke or change the subject.

Jongho may need help learning how to communicate more effectively and empathize with his partner's feelings

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I hope you liked it !

Don't forget to request, give me some ideas ! it helps me a lot !

I'm sorry if there's any spelling mistakes, english is not my first language

Stay safe, love y'all

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not reconnecting with my brother?

I (21x) have a really complicated relationship with my brother (18m), not helped by the fact we both live with our mom right now. He’s had a really hard time in his life, with having anger issues, ADHD, what we both suspect is NPD, and our family being. Dysfunctional at best and neglectful/borderline emotionally abusive at worse. We both know that our family wasn’t particularly good for us, but we have pretty different approaches on how to deal with it/how we feel like it’s effected us.

This is where some of my (100% AH) behavior comes in- I was incredibly cruel to him as a young teen (12ish) and basically belittled him and pushed him away at every opportunity. We used to be intense but loving with each other and I feel like I took that and made him feel like he couldn’t love or trust me (which he’s told me himself multiple times). I know I failed him as an older sibling and I hold so much regret and shame for not nurturing him into all the good he held (and still does).

Where it gets rocky is our current relationship. I hate to say this and I’ve never said it to his face, but I feel like the roles have completely swapped. He talks over and down to me, gets incredibly upset when I won’t drop everything for him (I won’t get into it bc this would turn into a long vent but he once got legitimately mad at me for days for not giving up my bed and bedroom for him out of nowhere because he didn’t want to be in his anymore). He’s called me every cruel name under the sun, and when I fight back or our fights get ugly, he reminds me it’s all my fault he’s like this because I ruined our relationship. I’ve tried to heal from my own separate trauma and mend our family situation but whenever I talk to him it’s like I regress into a fawning doormat who never challenges the way he absolutely steps over me and puts me down (my friends have talked to me about this and have come down a lot harsher than me, so I’m borrowing their words because I can’t let go of the fact he’s not. Wrong to be this upset with me- I’m a victim of emotional abuse in my own right and I know how it feels to be wrapped in fear and hate and don’t hold it against him that he’s been hurt by me).

I’ve wanted to be a better sibling for a long time, and since about 16 I’ve made a conscious effort to shelf my pent up resentment and hurt emotions to try to always understand him and give him space to be upset, plus always taking the step to reconcile and apologize for my part to play in arguments. I refuse to call him any of the horrible names I used to (bare minimum I know, but I’ve really worked to diffuse that anger and make sure everything I say isnt an attack on him personally and only ever touches oh his current actions) and I try every diffusing move in the book with only framing my feeling as mine and not reflective of who he is and how I want to know his feelings so we can work to understand each other and move past the proboem. But he still treats me like an unstable, untrustworthy bitch who “emotionally manipulates him” by breaking down crying when he calls me names and tells me I’m stupid and he’s above my level of intellectual thought and rationale (I wish I was joking but he has directly said this, almost word for word).

I’m at a big crossroads. I want to keep trying to show him I love him and want him in my life, but it feels like he’s given up on me. If he truly has, I think I have to accept it as part of my failures and shames, but he also tells me he wishes I spent more time with him and that he wants to have a relationship with me. AITA for trying not to engage with him anymore? I want to support him but when he treats me badly if makes me regress into anger and like I’m just digging myself deeper and I’m never going to be good enough to be part of his life. I don’t know what to do with myself and how to live around him when a conversation as small as asking him to do the dishes turns into him berating me for being a nagging stupid asshole.

What are these acronyms?

[reviewdiaries]

Nancy x Ace and that confrontation at the morgue

I am a wreck, ruined, RUINED I tell you. Nancy and Ace are putting us through it this season, and I am both absolutely here for it and SOBBING IN A CORNER. Seriously, the angst is DELICIOUS.

Sidenote: Can we talk about costumes for this episode? Ace is wearing a variation of what he wore when they kissed - white/pale blue t-shirt with a blue shirt over it (because emotionally he’s still there). And Nancy is wearing the colours of Ace’s bedspread from the night that they finally opened up and talked and she told him everything. Just in case you needed your feels smacked some more.

It’s so painful right from the start - they’re finally in the same room as each other (yay) but oh boy Nancy is not engaging. She’s gone from heart eyes every time she catches a glimpse of Ace to not even looking at him. And he’s desperate for her attention still, he can’t bear it, taking every opportunity to stand near her, try and catch her eye, literally moves away from everyone else to stand close enough that she falls over him when she stands up in the woods. 

GIF Credit @whitefluffyyeti

She’s angry and hurt and who can blame her? Nancy has a long standing relationship with abandonment issues and they are coming to bite her with a vengeance with Ace. He has triggered every single response from her by telling her they can’t be together and then walking away. Ace is doing it because sacrifice is one of his love languages, but Nancy only sees that she’s not enough, they’re not enough, these feelings, they’re not enough to make him stay. 

So she’s been physically avoiding him until she can’t, and now she’s eye contact and emotionally avoiding him until he snaps later in the episode. Because Ace is patient. Ace has always been patient - he’s the steadfast rock at Nancy’s side, always there at her shoulder with reassurance and quips and a half smile with a gentle heart. And he’s trying to slip back into that role, even though it’s killing him not to be able to reach out, touch her, hold her, kiss her. He keeps trying and she keeps rebuffing him. 

When he’s tracking down their artefact hunter his body language is open, cautiously optimistic. This is their sweet spot, the place where personal space blurs and they’re caught up in the thrill of two minds working as one cohesive whole to solve a problem. Only Nancy immediately draws a line in the sand. She brings a stool over, sets it a couple of feet away, refuses to do her usual trick of leaning over Ace to look at the screen. He leans over to point at something on the paper and she flinches away from his hand.

GIF Credit @whitefluffyyeti

That’s the moment. That’s the point where Ace can’t take it anymore. He closes off, turns away, stops looking directly at her. And that carries on when she arrives at the morgue at 8:58 to hand back the teeth.

Nancy is looking stunning, but he doesn’t look at her, barely acknowledges her except to bite off that he’ll see her when he’s next useful to her. Because she's acting like she's the only one hurting, when he's carved open and bleeding in front of her. 

And this is it, finally, finally his patience has run out and he knows Nancy isn’t one to back away from a fight and she doesn’t disappoint him now. Because he has to provoke her into talking to him, has to do something, anything, to break down the walls that she’s built between them. Colleagues, he can’t live with that, he has to lance the wound, clean out, make something new from it even if it hurts them both to do it.

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl​

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

He still can’t look at her though, everything about this hurts, because he’s spent every moment since he walked away from her coming to terms with the fact that she’s the love of his life (he already knew it on some level but kissing her, holding her, having a taste of what they could have been has confirmed it in ways he never expected) and he doesn’t feel he can have her. Doesn’t feel like it’s fair to her, because as long as they’re cursed (and he’s not prepared to risk her life again trying to break it thanks) he can only give her half a relationship. They can be there emotionally for each other, have already proven how intimate that can be, but the physical side will never be an option whilst the curse is in place, and now they’ve had a taste… They could barely keep their hands to themselves before they had any idea what kissing each other would be like, what hope would they have now having had a tiny sliver of it? It’s been something noticeable about Ace in every episode since he found out about the curse, how still he is, how carefully he holds himself so he doesn’t accidentally reach for her and trigger it.

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

And he raises his voice - Ace never raises his voice. He’s quiet and soft spoken and everything about this shows how stretched to breaking point he is. By Nancy, the lack of her, the fact she’s finally here and acting like she’s the only one that has any right to hurt just because he walked away. The fact that that was the best damn kiss of his life and he’ll never get to experience it again. The fact that he loves her. And he’s finally admitting it (to himself, to her) he loves her so much, more than anything or anyone, and he doesn’t really believe he’ll ever feel that way again, not how he does about her. Everything else is a pale imitation of how he feels about Nancy. 

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

He is so close to breaking, because Nancy is calling him out for walking away, but she doesn’t get it yet, hasn’t listened, hasn’t understood why he did it. He wasn’t abandoning her, he wasn’t taking the easy way out, he was sacrificing how he felt for the chance that she has a full and happy and love filled life, even if it’s without him.

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

It bubbles out of him, pulling back the skin to reveal the desperately beating heart beneath. He walked away from her and it nearly killed him. To stay with her and her heartbreak would have killed him too. Not living with her, being near her, holding her, kissing her is killing him. And he has lived with that heartbreak, that desperate attempt to be bigger than his wants, to set her free because of how much he loves her. It has pounded in his blood with his heartbeat, it has dogged every step between his flat and the morgue, a litany in his head as he worked in silence with the absence of her that he loves, he loves, he loves her. And he walked away. 

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

What would I say? He didn’t have the words, barely has the words now to articulate how painful this has been, how painful it continues to be. And she’s there and she’s not listening and the emotion is choking him. 

He walks away because he can’t, he can’t bear it, any of it, it’s too much, he wishes he hadn’t started this because he wants her in his life but god this is just too much, too hard, too raw. And she presses his buttons and calls him out and finally he has the words. He turns back and his voice is soft and choked with emotion, it is an effort to get them out but he speaks to her.

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

And finally she listens. Stunned and heart broken, but she hears him at last.

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

As he tells her over and over and over how much he loves her. And he’s not said it. Neither of them had dared to, had spoken around and around their feelings when they were trying to break the curse. But now, his heartbreak has cracked him open and his heart has been in her safe keeping for so long and he needs her to understand.

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl​

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl​

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

They have been through so much - hardship and pain and grief and despair and now this, this beautiful shining light of his love and his voice is thick with tears and Nancy just wants to comfort him, hold him, show him how much she loves him in return. She’s been telling everyone around them he’s her soul mate, her person, the best kiss of her life, her love, but now she wants to show him and she moves in, reaches for him.

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

And for a moment, a split second, barely more than a heartbeat, he leans into her too, head tilting, hands lifting of their own accord - it’s muscle memory, his body knows exactly how to step in to hold her, to kiss her just so. Before it all comes crashing down and he remembers himself and the curse and he can’t, pushes her away without ever touching her (never touching, not even for this).

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

He is so close to tears as he tells her we can’t, steeling himself against the pain, the want, the desperate need that runs through him. Eyes shut against the vision of her, so soft and filled with want and love. Can’t help the flick of his eyes to her lips because this is the closest they’ve been since they kissed and the phantom press of her lips against his is too much, too real, too close and desperate.

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

They reach an understanding of sorts, as painful as it is. Not quite friends - it’s still too fresh, too real, too much like an epic love they couldn’t ever touch. And it is painful and filled with raw longing and grief. And still Ace holds himself rigid to stop himself from sinking into her, because no matter what he says about other people, she’s it for him, there will never be anyone he loves as much as Nancy.

GIF Credit @nancy-drew

If after all that angst you’re in the mood for some curse breaking and kissing, check out my post 4x04 fic here!

[densitywell]

Orympost I dare you. Consider me the sick fuck egging you on

me reading this ask

ok so. i love Orym so much and I truly have too many thoughts abt him to be contained in one post so let's just start with the trauma, the thing that defines Orym not just as a character but also discursively. this discussion often feels very surface level, not much more than a simple acknowledgment that Orym is sad bc dead family. which is a shame, bc the thing that really strikes me about Orym's grief is not simply that he has it but how deeply it has shaped him, consumed him. the death of his family often gets used as a reason no one should ever challenge him on anything ever, which is an incredibly unproductive and unhealthy way to view trauma, and also obscures the much more compelling and poignant truth; Orym is absolutely not handling his trauma productively or healthily. i have made a meme to further express my feelings on the matter.

so, i remember quite well the first time i watched Orym's resurrection in episode 34.

when he sees Will in the afterlife and says, the most sincere he's ever sounded (and he is so sincere all the time), "I really wish I could stay." and in that moment i realized; oh, Orym would rather be dead right now. Orym would rather be dead right now, because it would mean he got to be with Will and Derrig.

another moment i think about a lot: when he's talking with Uther, a member of the Gorgynei, in episode 42, about naming his sword and about their times traveling, and Uther says: "it's nice to have a home finally, after traveling for a long time. i hope you and your friends can find a home, or return to the ones you have."

and Orym says: "I'll think of a name [for his sword]."

it's a fun kind of synergy that Orym is a dex based character who is also, emotionally, so slippery and avoidant. always deflecting. he's defined by his steadfastness in battle and his stubborn refusal to change outside of it. it's notable how stagnant Orym felt, as a character, up until the Issylra arc. very intentionally so; he's likely been in a state of paralysis for much of the last 6 years. he really wishes he could stay. i don't think he's accepted that he can't.

or that there's reasons not to: of all of the many Orym moments i think about all of the time, the one i think about by far the most is his conversation with the Wildmother, all the way back in EXU, when she tells him, so lovingly:

"There is so much I would have you see."

that, more than anything, is the line that defines Orym to me. you can see glimpses of it, in his love for the Hells, his amazement when he's dancing with the spirits or watching Ashton blow 200 gold gambling; on the other hand, in his refusal to really engage with the gods debate (as stated by Liam himself) or his continued discomfit with some of his friend's oddities. there is so much world, so much beauty, so much love still out there for Orym to experience, if he would simply let himself. revenge is nice, i hope he gets it, but it will simply never be enough. it will not give him the capacity to love fully again, and if he gets the revenge and not the love he will end up empty, hallowed out, leading a life always wishing he could be somewhere else.

right now he's regressing, reduced down to nothing but that painful wound, abandoning even so much of his kindness and reason. the hells can help, and they should and they will, because they have so much love to give. but Orym will have to open himself up to it, to them, first. i really hope he does!!

[juriyuna]

If you're still doing them, how about top 5 MagiReco OTPs/NOTPs

Ah, it's hard to choose just 5 for the top of my list...! There are a number of ships I really like; I feel like I'm excluding some of my favorite children, haha. These are the ones I think about the most often, though.

5. Urara/Kurara: There's something really sweet about how Urara has seen Kurara at her worst and still loves her unconditionally. ;; On Kurara's end, it's more bittersweet-- she's painfully aware of how much Urara adores her in spite of how nasty and temperamental she can be, and it rips her apart inside because she doesn't feel like she deserves to be loved like that. I will withhold the "kurara loves urara too" essay for now for brevity's sake, but MAN Kurara loves Urara too!! She loves her so much that it's tearing both of them down!!!! RRAAAAGGGHFGDH it's too good......

I find it so cute that Urara refuses to give up on Kurara, even after they had such an ugly breakup. She knows that she messed things up by accidentally being insensitive, but she also knows that Kurara has issues of her own that she needs to sort out. In Urara's Kagome interview, she's like, sure, maybe things are bad right now... but people can change with time, you know? Maybe in a few years, they'll have grown enough emotionally that they'll be ready to make amends and give it another shot. I'm rooting for you, world's most patient clown. o7

Urakura can cover every base from fluff (remember, they used to be best friends!) to angst to hurt/comfort, making it very versatile and engaging to me. Combine that with the trope of "I love you no matter what, and I'll be here for you even on your worst days" (my weakness), and I never stood a chance.

4. Hikaru/Ao: My first Arc 2 ship, and still one of my favorites today! I remember seeing cute fanart for it way back when I first started playing the NA server and being super excited for the game to get to Crimson Resolve so I could learn more about them. :') While NA may have died before then, I am infinitely grateful that fan-translations mean I got to see these two anyway! (thank you hebinomiya and MUT for my life)

To explain a bit about why I like them, hm... They've got a nice dynamic in general! It's on the fluffier side without being bland, I think. Ao is playful in a way that feels a bit distant at first, but slowly opens up and starts to trust Hikaru more (a big milestone for how traumatized Ao is), while Hikaru gets a hit or miss crash course in Making Her Own Decisions. It's also interesting to contrast their individual ways of distancing themselves from their suffering (Ao trying to treat life like a game; Hikaru leaning hard into her role of "the Horse"), especially since they've both criticized the other for... doing almost exactly what they're doing themselves.

The way Hikaru tries to comfort Ao when she's scared or sad is cute, even if she doesn't know how to go about it. While Hikaru is largely numb to having to kill people at this point (wow, that's not depressing at all), she knows Ao isn't, and she gets worried when it seems like Ao is in over her head. Hikaru was the first person to worry about Ao after she accidentally killed Ryou, and when Ao seemed out of sorts in her MSS, Hikaru was the first person to seek her out. It plays nicely with Hikaru's struggle with agency as well-- she wants to help Ao, but she doesn't know where to start because she lacks experience and the ability to think for herself; she's caught between her personal desires (supporting a friend) vs. her duty to Promised Blood's goals; things like that.

As an added bonus, their designs compliment each other very nicely. Blue and orange is a solid combo. :> (And for one minor thing, I love that Ao has a swimsuit line where she's self-conscious about being a little pudgy, and then Hikaru has a swimsuit line where she says she thinks Ao is really cute. Tsuchinoko Real)

3. San/Miyuri: f4 could not have tailored a ship more closely to my interests if they tried. It's a little embarrassing... listen, you can't have san say "when she loses consciousness, she becomes my doll" and not expect me to think there's something going on These two pushed Neo-Magius from "kinda neat" to being my second-favorite faction. They're perfect as individual characters, and even better together; I adore the way they play off of each other. The way they want the best for the other and try to nudge each other towards success, even if that means enabling unhealthy thought patterns or behaviors and inadvertently strangling the other's personal growth, is fantastic.

And, of course, the lighter parts of their dynamic are just as good!! It's readily obvious how much Miyu loves San, but San loves Miyu too; she's just more subdued about showing people she cares for them. I think sometimes people forget how sad San was when Miyu started avoiding her out of guilt-- while it might not have been the same type of instant affection that Miyu felt towards San (at least until she saw Miyu dancing by herself and blushed over how pretty she was), San had very quickly gotten attached to Miyu as her baby, and was devastated to think that she might've lost her so soon.

They're more alike than they seem at first glance, and I think that's part of what makes their bond so strong-- San sees her old self in Miyu, and wants to watch her improve; Miyu sees herself in who San used to be, and admires that someone so timid can grow up to be so outwardly brave and capable. The whole thing is so sweet to me... ;;

... I might also mention that my headcanons for them help boost this up on my list, aha. I picture San as being very tall and broad-shouldered, and Miyu as a tiny little thing who could blow away in a strong breeze, which makes for a cute contrast. :')

2. Juri/Yuna: Oh man, where do I start? Everything about this ship is just perfect to me. I don't care whether they're friends, enemies, lovers, or what as long as they're together; their dynamic is flawless in every way. I'm stoked that they finally got a dual unit! ;_;

I am SO weak for the way Yuna cares about Juri. The gang wars could've been solved or prevented if Yuna had killed Juri before the situation got too bad, but she didn't want to do that. Yuna was so determined to leave Juri alive that she orchestrated that whole big fight in the first half of CR specifically to bring Juri down without killing her. It's not something that Yuna is proud of, but the fact that she manipulated a bunch of other girls (which unfortunately resulted in some casualties) because she loved this one particular loose cannon too much to kill her... man. Devotion.

Yuna is incredibly patient and understanding with Juri in general, which is extra cute to me because almost nobody else is. She knows Juri isn't a bad person, just struggling with mental illness and shitty circumstances, and no matter how Juri feels about herself, Yuna still loves her and wants her around. Not for her strength or holding Ryuugasaki together, but because Yuna cares for her as a friend. It's so... [clenches fist] AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)

It's readily apparent how much this acceptance means to Juri, too. She used to rely heavily on Yuna for venting her stress since not only could Yuna go toe-to-toe with her in a fight (and willingly does so), she doesn't resent or demonize Juri for being the way she is. Even when Juri was hellbent on defeating Yuna in CR, she's greatly upset when she thinks that she might've actually killed her (or in the bad end where Juri does kill Yuna). For all of the animosity they held towards each other, they need each other; they don't honestly want the other to die. (Not alone, at least-- the scene where Yuna stops Juri from killing herself has an undercurrent of "how dare you try to leave without me", given that Yuna was also suicidal at the time.)

I am, as you can tell from this list, very weak for ride-or-die loyalty (or dubiously healthy attachment; take your pick), and juriyuna delivers that in spades, with all of the dressings and extras I like. Yuna's refined, serious, thoughtful personality and Juri's rowdy, aggressive, playful personality bounce off of each other in ways that are always enjoyable to see, whether it's something heavier like CR or fluffy like the Please, Yuna-san event. Top quality ship.

1. Bat/Ranka: "hmm, what if..." ← me haplessly coming up with an idea while reading CR for the first time 3 years ago, about to inflict an unbreakable curse upon myself

If I had to pick a number-one favorite ship in the series, it would be this. I am trapped in a hell of my own creation... We don't see much of their dynamic outside of CR or Ao's MSS (though Ranka does talk about the Bat elsewhere), and we've hardly gotten any of their relationship from the Bat's point of view, but that just means I can have a field day reading between the lines and piecing together a story from the scraps we do get. Enrichment!!

Ranka's "I need someone strong to follow or I'll die because I can't survive by myself" vs. the Bat's "I need someone prey on or I'll die because I can't survive by myself" is a great parallel that makes for a unique flavor of codependency. Sort of a "marionette and puppeteer" dynamic, I guess? Whatever you call it, it's 100% my brand; I go nuts for this stuff.

On Ranka's end, she knows that this relationship is unhealthy, but she keeps coming back anyway. Some of it is that she sees herself as too weak (physically and mentally) to make it on her own, so she clings to the Bat because being treated badly is better than being dead or alone. Some of it is probably that she sees herself as an awful person, and feels that she "deserves" to be hurt like this as punishment for how spineless she is (a feeling that compounds itself with every horrible thing the Bat makes her do).

It's a form of self-harm, in a way-- but even so, their relationship isn't always bad. The Bat liked Ranka enough to appoint her as her second-in-command, and for what it's worth, she did protect Ranka from the Futatsugi gang wars. She didn't take any issues with Ranka's abrasive, badmouthed personality, either! In fact, the Bat must've liked that about Ranka if she chose to keep her so close, haha. (And this is headcanon territory, but since Monzenbashi's base was an abandoned arcade, I have to figure that they shared an interest in old video games as well.)

In the end, Ranka is left in a thorny position where she hates what she has to go through, but can't bring herself to leave. After all, they have their good moments. The Bat loves her, probably. If she left, she'd be free from the abuse, but she'd lose the sense of safety and familiarity that the Bat gives her. That sort of struggle is super interesting to me-- I really like how this ship explores how loving and hating someone isn't necessarily a cut-and-dry thing.

On the Bat's end, while she does know that what she's doing is wrong, she adamantly believes that she needs to exploit others or she'll be the one to get exploited herself. She's a selfish coward who chews up the weak for personal gain and spits them out when she's through with them, viewing everyone else as either a threat to be disposed of or a tool to be used... and yet, despite all of this, she's shown to genuinely care for Ranka.

I am constantly thinking about the Ao-Ranka fight in CR where the Bat jumped to Ranka's defense, saying that she's going to kill Ao herself if Ranka is going to let herself get hurt like this. The Bat- the girl who gets a sick thrill out of torturing the helpless, who's too paranoid to trust anyone- loves Ranka enough that it made her angry to watch her get hurt. For as cruel and "save myself and fuck the rest" as she is, she has one person she wants to protect.

Something about the way the Bat wants to keep Ranka safe while also treating her like a pawn; hating the thought of losing her, but afraid of letting her get too close... fuckinf!!! Good Shit!!!!! Mix that in with Ranka's conflicting feelings about the Bat and I have a dumpster fire that will keep me warm for years.

I could be delusional (this ship is largely in my head), but it feels like a pretty realistic portrayal of an abusive relationship to me. There are all kinds of things to dig into here, from how it could get worse to how it could get better, and I just... auuuuggghhfhfh MAN im going to fling myself into the sun i love them so MUCH

(bottom 5 under the cut, both for negativity and because this is already super long)

If anyone's OTP is on this list, I apologize-- please know that none of these are a moral judgement or anything! 99% of my NOTPs are just ships I find annoying for one reason or another. It's nothing personal.

5. Rika/Ren: Truly the plain dry cornflakes of the magireco ship world. It's so Generic Yuri Manga that it manages to be frustrating in its lack of substance. I understand that it's one of the most popular ships (if not the most popular ship) in the fandom, but I'm gonna have to pass. :{

4. Ao/Ranka: Do you ever have a ship that bugs you, but you can't put your finger on why? This is one of those for me. Which is weird, because I am very much a multishipper when it comes to Promised Blood! And I adore the way that Ao and Ranka's relationship is written in canon! They have a really rich dynamic; I love watching them make that awkward, gradual shift from enemies to friends, where they clearly want to be closer but also don't quite know how to feel about each other. As a romantic ship, though... Eh. I've tried reading fics and stuff for them, but it's just not my thing.

3. Tsukuyo/Tsukasa/anyone: There isn't a single character who doesn't feel like a third wheel here. Sure, the twins might love her, but not as much as they love each other; she will always sort of be on the outside looking in. Tsukuyo and Tsukasa are so deeply, unshakeably intertwined that I don't even like shipping them monogamously with other characters (a singular exception being that I have a passive appreciation for Kanagi/Tsukasa), so adding a third girl to the mix is out of the question by default.

Yukika is probably the worst offender in terms of third wheel-ness because of her "Akatsuki-senpai" thing, but Amanes/Mifuyu wins the general awkwardness category by virtue of giving me the unfortunate impression of a mistress to a married couple. I tried reading various OT3 fics with the Amanes to see if I'd warm up to the idea, I did, but... it's regular amanecest or bust for me.

2. Kuroda/Asahi: it's not even about the abuse and general assholery on kuroda's end (heavy drama can be interesting with the right framework) it's that the idea of shipping asahi with a dude gives me hives

1. Himena/Hiko: het ship allergy strikes again, im sorry 😔 Sometimes I feel kinda dumb for this one because I know I'd probably like it if Hiko was a girl, but alas. Not only do I have negative interest in M/F, Hiko is the most boring self-insert-looking nerd guy they possibly could've designed. Ungh. (himena is a fun, fascinating character, i like her a lot, but the depths of my distaste mean that whenever a scene comes up where himena talks to/about hiko, i subconsciously overwrite it with "hiko is a girl" or "hiko is imaginary" to make it more palatable to me orz)

Plus the "unpopular boy gets bullied for dating popular girl" plotline feels super contrived to me-- while my experiences are obviously not universal, I usually find that unpopular guys get boosted up the social ladder if they manage to land a date with a popular girl. The whole "forbidden love" trope needs to be done in a very particular way in M/F ships in order for me to not find it stupid, and this one doesn't hit the mark.

... and this is a silly thing to be annoyed by, but it really does grate on me that whenever you ship Himena with a different character, there's an 85% chance that at least one person will come along like "what about hiko?" or "poor hiko" or "ot3 with hiko!" or whatever. Even if you specify that you've written Hiko out of Himena's head in some way or another (got his own body again, never existed in the first place, etc.), someone will make him the focal point regardless. It's happened to me, and it's happened to a few other people I've seen. :'| Frustrating to see an interesting comment on himesasha or w/e get derailed into "but himehiko!!", as if everything Needs to revolve around this one singular boy.

[zeglythofficial]

INTP anon again.  

Okay, so I’ve been combing through the tarot readings. I’ve noticed some patterns that you’ve explicitly pointed out but I want to expand on it.  

1- 

T is afraid of his feelings towards R. I completely agree with this. Your friend, Tarot 2.0 said this. “I understand why he’s running from R (she's a little crazy imo) but refusing to talk to someone and hurting their feelings isn’t the right way to go about things.” It really isn’t. He’s definitely conflicted about his feelings with R, as well as the fact that he’s dating BB. Personally, I don’t believe that their relationship is that deep, basing off the pics he’s liked 👀. Anyways, back to the topic. Of course, I get that he’s trying to be respectful of BB, since she’s his girlfriend. But talking to your costar about the kiss and then shutting it down? He’s afraid because he doesn’t want to cause an uproar and get into conflict with people other than himself. That’s what I think, at least.

2-

R and T are attracted to each other. Of course, I’ve talked about this theory multiple times, but why not talk about it again? I’m sure that they’re both denying it due to them both having partners. Their chemistry is insane, so I’m sure BB and J were both opinionated on the matter. Tarot 2.0 has mentioned that both T and R have thought about each other, which then led to marriage, children et cetera. But they definitely aren’t ready, not yet. T and R both need to confront each other about their feelings, or at least have a talk that commutes some of those feelings. R also needs to mature more and get offline some. In the kiss conversation, R was attempting to clarify and T shut it down due to them being in relationships. It did cause a wedge to be driven in their friendship, but it was probably for the best. I think they need to reconnect and have a long, long talk. 

3-

R, J, and T’s relationship. I think I’ve made it obvious that I absolutely despise J, but I’ll try to avoid as much bias as possible. Their relationship is probably rocky right now, with all the Zeglyth content and J is NJ right now. Of course, there’s the fact that he probably 100% did groom her. J seems more emotionally and physically distant, unlike R, who is the complete opposite. J doesn’t provide what R wants, or at least I think.

Now, let’s add T to the equation. I think that J is threatened by T in multiple ways. First of all, his career. T is more successful than J (obviously). This could make him feel more threatened. Also, R and T’s relationship. He definitely is jealous, probably due to their chemistry. T matches R’s energy much more than J and engages and interacts with her way more in the press tour. I think that J perceives him as a threat or opponent in his stagnant relationship with R. T and J’s relationship is strained and it’s just a show for a public; at least, that’s my theory.

That’s all for now. I’ll probably try to gather more information on topics and expand on them. Trying to feed the tarots with this.

-INTP anon

Thank you for summarizing! This sounds exactly right.

Emphasize on R is a little crazy LOL

Tarot 2.0 is so real for that

[belltrigger]

Submastober / Submas Sharetober Day 4!

Sharetober Inspiration: Tsukiyomi by King & Prince (2022)

So, like, did @glassesblu and I ever talk about the AU spinoff where ddIngo is in a boyband?

After a ton of improvement and growth and reconciliation, the four Death Train AU lads (Wife Ingo, ddEmmet, Mermmet and ddIngo) finally get to be reincarnated together as a quartet!

ddIngo is the eldest, and he's aware of his attraction to his brothers fairly early on, and through a series of chastisements comes to think he's 'manipulating' his younger brothers. He relieves the pressure he feels by embracing a club lifestyle - he goes out and parties, drinks, and plays around with people. This causes him to put his beloved brothers at a bit of an arm's length, adding in to the distance that later causes the quadruplets to separate. He does not get along with their parents at all, and their arguments push him out of the house more and more often.

Wife Ingo is the second oldest, and is very rigorous with his studies, feeling as though he bears the burden of their parents' expectations. After all! ddIngo is just playing around all the time. Wife Ingo feels disappointment and frustration in ddIngo in equal measure, but it also bothers him because that is still his older brother who is precious to him. He's always doting on Mermmet and ddEmmet, but feels the most shame out of the four about his brotherly love. He is a transman, and more than one person has gotten a bloody lip from ddIngo for trying to say Wife Ingo is not their identical brother.

Mermmet is the third oldest, and mostly goes with the flow of the others. He is a big crybaby, easily getting teary over things that may seem inconsequential to others. Cheerful and energetic, he is the strongest of the brothers. Openly affectionate to his brothers, he is somewhat confused by the idea that they would have anything to hide about how much they love each other.

ddEmmet is the youngest, the "baby" of the group. He's the most emotionally rounded and mature, but is extremely dedicated and protective of his brothers. When he was younger, he realized he really liked kissing with Mermmet, and even engaged in it with ddIngo a few times. When he was younger, he found some of the severe adult stuff that ddIngo was exploring online and saw things he was not emotionally ready for - this is what instigated ddIngo to feel like he was corrupting his brothers.

There's a pretty big fallout between ddIngo and Wife Ingo in their late teens, each saying things to each other that they later regret. Because of the tension, and a few other things, the quadruplets temporarily go their separate ways.

ddEmmet refuses to let that be the end of it, and he's been keeping in contact with Mermmet. In fact, he and Mermmet move in together as soon as they're independent.

Soon, they rope in ddIngo, because he is not fighting with them and in fact misses them very much. Since they last saw him, he and his club buddies have actually taken their love of dancing into a career. Now, he is the front dancer in a quite successful male dance group who perform at various venues. Because it's ddIngo, he's also the 'playboy' of the group, but it doesn't go beyond flirting since he's realized he only wants to be with his brothers.

Mermmet and ddEmmet reveal to ddIngo that they are open to a romantic relationship, and so they become a throuple.

They need to convince Wife Ingo to join them in their loving relationship! ddEmmet comes up with an elaborate plan in order to show Wife Ingo how much they miss him, love him, and want him to come live with them. He has to reign in ddIngo and Mermmet, who are a little more impulsive and want to just go and confess right away!

--~~*~~--

As for the inspiration, I found this band shortly before three of the members left, so that's a little sad! But they were going for multiple years, so there's a pretty big backlog!

The then-center (Hirano Sho) in this song is pretty much what I imagine ddIngo to be like. He puts his whole body into the dance moves! It's fun watching him dance! At first I wasn't super into the video because I don't really like the outfits, but the song's a banger and watching their moves and footwork, it's pretty impressive!

Music link below the read more!

[29-12-2011]

Hope this is okay to bring up but all th points u made in that post abt ppl white woman-Ifying viktor Yeah. It’s impossible 2 scroll through certain tags on this site (or any tbh) without seeing some bad jayce take because people don’t understand they’re completely separate characters. Or refuse to read viktor as he actually acts in arcane OR league just because he’s their scrungly sad little meow meow who can do no wrong and everyone and everything is out to get him. It’s incredibly annoying too because people are Making content based on league lore, but are basing it off other people’s fics instead of reading the lore, so it’s like a self repeating cycle, not sure how else to explain it but it just sucks ass and it makes it hard to interact with th majority of ppl making art for the two of them

that is true! sorry, didn't mean to localise it as an issue particular to just arcane because yeah, it's been happening since the arrival of 2016 viktor's lore (and maybe even before). i can't count the number of times jayce has been accused of genocide(?) or stealing blitzcrank by hiding him in his trenchcoat and running away or purposely trying to get viktor expelled (in the order of significance ascribed by most fans), or any other weird crimes people can dream up because the fact is that if you look at his biography instead of basing your entire knowledge off of drabbles and AUs and author's notes and inside jokes and references he did... none of these things?

like there's nothing gloating about how he describes viktor getting expelled -- i'd argue he didn't intend for it to happen at all. but somehow in fandom discussions or reddit posts people stretch it to jayce stealing viktor's wife and kids or whatever i really don't get it! and if you argue from the lens of interpretation i'm not sure what textual basis you'd have for that at all given that jayce is notably distraught after losing viktor.

of course jayce doesn't do himself any favours by not mentioning blitzcrank, or trying to defend himself, but you only really fall victim to thinking viktor was in the right by doing an entirely surface level reading without realising, hey, maybe trying to strip people of free will is bad?

i understand being more emotionally engaged with viktor's side of the story, and if you read jayce's biography after reading viktor's your viewpoint is already shaped by the uncharitable way viktor depicts him, but honestly if you're going to try to engage with these characters in a serious level i'd at least ask for you to try and figure out what is going on (or don't, if it's more fun i guess i can't really police how you consume fictional men).

the "genocide" that they believe is happening (please google what genocide is) is so... GUYS HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY VIKTOR WAS ABLE TO CONTROL AND ORDER AROUND THE AUTOMATONS THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ZAUNITES' NEW BODIES? like there is room for nuance here obviously if you can be bothered to think it through but at a surface level glance viktor is not in the right here. i'll defend viktor and write him and love him until the day i die but that's not because i agree with what he is doing, it'd be because i enjoy him as a character and find him interesting to explore.

maybe people conflate this emotional attachment with the belief that since so much wrong has been done to him (which i won't deny, just that a lot of it wasn't jayce's fault) viktor must be in the right, and jayce becomes the target of this righteous anger because how dare you not defend this poor little meow meow victim of all of society's faults!

and all of these things are multiplied tenfold by looking at it through the lens of arcane and refusing to even consider how the two SEPARATE iterations would fuse together. now white woman A!viktor is dying, and isn't that just so pitiful? why WOULDN'T you let him commit all those atrocities, and if you REALLY LOVED HIM you wouldn't BETRAY HIM AND SELL HIM OUT! WHICH TALIS DOES NOT DO BECAUSE THOSE EVENTS ARE NOT PART OF ARCANE THEY ARE PART OF LEAGUE! or something or the other. and frankly this is just disrespectful to all four characters.

the image most arcane-only fans have of giopara would be "asshole", which is true, but he's also a complex layered character that loses a lot if you choose to reduce him to one archetype, and if you choose to misinterpret a character and then blame him for your misinterpretation it's like... well i really don't get it but it's whatever because it's for real just a video game biography/TV show.

[wesninskijr]

My headcanon for what's wrong with Roman Roy. Making my own post because I feel like people are not gonna like it but I've been sitting on it for months. also want to make clear I don't necessarily think this is canon, just how I've mentally filled in the gaps. Tw for csa, cocsa

Logan saw the way Kendall played with Roman being the "weaker dog" and called so much attention to it that Roman bent around it psychosexually. Childhood games often have a psychosexual aspect to them subliminally (roles in playing house, for example, or situations you play out over and over) and they play a role in the way you engage with your sexuality later on in life. That's why Roman feels such shame and humiliation and seeks it out in sexual situations, because Logan made him feel like there was something wrong with him for the way he played with Kendall. It's about doing what feels right and being told it's wrong.

Now, all of that is pretty much canon. I'd like to step away from canon and fill in the gaps by looking at how Kendall factors in. People often focus on Roman in the "dog pound" situation, even Logan victim blamed him for being the weaker dog. But Kendall was the one leading him...

I feel like there was some kind of sexual aspect to their play. I don't know exactly what, but I imagine Kendall gave Roman instructions to do certain things that went beyond the realm of typical roleplay. Thats why Roman has to have a barrier between himself and the person whos helping him get off, because he would be behind the barrier of the dog pound when he played out these situations with Kendall.

Whether or not this was intentional on Kendall's part, this is a form of grooming, and lays the foundation for Roman to be nonconsentually lead into sexual situations. People who experienced csa are statistically more likely to experience other forms of s/a later in life, and I could easily see him having been taken advantage of by Logan's friends (like "Mo" Lester McClintock). I also believe this explains his willingness to play along with roles laden with sexual innuendo in the business world. The scene with Roman and Mencken in the bathroom reads as dubcon to me because of this.

What first brought my attention to this was the discrepancy between how he and Connor remember it. That tells me there's been so much repression on the subject of the dog pound and he no longer remembers how he really felt about it. But also, Roman has apparently had a lot of therapy, which leads me to believe he might have also shared those experiences with a therapist and they decided the healthy thing would be to be angry about it, not enjoy it. This is reinforced by Logan having shamed him for his behavior, and explains why he'll sometimes indignantly stick up for himself.

Going further, why does Roman have to be behind a barrier to get off? We see that he's uncomfortable being in close quarters with people one on one (when his girlfriend at the time followed him into the bathroom to get dressed, and the stilted way he acts around Mencken), so he feels safer stowed away, taking instructions.

Roman also canonically has borderline personality disorder, Hallmark traits of which being hypersexuality, an unstable sense of self, or an inconsistent set of values. This goes hand in hand with Roman allowing himself to be led into situations where he doesn't know if he's really comfortable. There's no direct "cause" for bpd, but neglect and inconsistent parenting are thought to be leading factors. You see this directly with Logan shaming his children for being both too subservient and not subservient enough, and you also see it with Caroline's refusal to emotionally connect with her children. Roman lacks emotional distance from her because her abandonment. He doesn't understand the way she left off, so he keeps trying to recreate their relationship before that. This explains his "Oedipus complex", aka his shock at his mother's sudden life change and that he had no part in.

Roman is still largely a traumatized child trying to navigate through his life after severe and unique abuse.

If you made it all the way through this, thank you for reading, feel free to reblog or comment or block as you see fit

[juniperhillpatient]

The Chase Re-Watch

I love this episode. We get to see the Dangerous Ladies™ in action, & the fight scenes that take up the second half are just so fun.

I think that Avatar is consistently good at setting up interpersonal conflicts that feel engaging & real. Toph isn't instantly besties with the Gaang, & that's not all that surprising considering her brash personality. Mainly, she clashes with Katara & this is delightful to see. Katara is often designated as the most emotionally mature member of the group & in some ways, she is. But she's also prone to outbursts & she hates getting blown off. As someone who loves Katara's character, I actually love seeing this more petty side of her & I would love to lean into it in fics more often. I think Katara has certain things that trigger her anger & make her get mean & laziness & selfishness seem to contribute to this. It's also relevant that Katara was raised in a culture that values collaboration. The Southern Water Tribe is small. Everyone has to work together. So, Toph's more individualistic approach was bound to get under Katara's skin.

But what's really going on with Toph? Part of my reason for doing a re-watch is to understand the characters & their layered motivations more. I've watched this episode a number of times & always puzzled over Toph's behavior. She is the member of the Gaang I feel like I have the least solid grasp on as a character if I'm being honest. I have issues with Suki as well, but they're mostly due to her being underdeveloped & not given enough screen time, & we'll get to her later. For now, let's talk about Toph.

Toph has just left behind her life of wealth. I've always taken her refusal to help set up camp as rich-kid lazy behavior. To an extent, I stand by that, but let's dig deeper into the "why."Toph has always had servants doing everything for her. But I think that her insistence that she "can carry her own weight" feels important, & implies that there's more going on than just laziness. She also snaps that she "gave up everything she had to teach Aang earth-bending." I think it's worth noting that Toph, while she wants a life of adventure, was also initially against joining the Gaang. She is, after all, only twelve. So, part of her attitude problem has to do with being away from home & probably trying to act tough when in reality, she's overwhelmed. I think that just doing things for herself feels like a big deal for her. She doesn't know how to operate in a group & can't understand what Katara wants from her. Maybe if Katara was more direct rather than dancing around the issue, that would help. Katara is indirect in her pushes to get Toph to help, & it's possible Toph doesn't really understand the crux of the issue & it would help to have it explained to her bluntly. So, different communication styles are at play here too.

It's also relevant that because they're being chased, everyone is tired & on edge so tensions are high. This is just a recipe for disaster. I loved seeing Aang snap too for similar reasons that I loved seeing Katara get petty. Aang is usually not an angry person. Don't get me wrong, he has anger. He certainly has a lot of deep-seated rage over what happened to his people, but this isn't about that. What I'm saying is that in interpersonal conflicts, Aang can be childish but he's typically not one to start yelling at people easily. I think two big factors pushed Aang over the edge here. 1. He's exhausted, & he's frustrated by the ongoing tension. 2. Toph decided to bring Appa into it & blame him.

Aang is right to be protective over Appa. Appa saves the Gaang's lives constantly. He's the one carrying the group on his back through all of this. Also, protecting your pet above everything is just a mood.

Still, after leaving everything behind Toph is ganged up on & she's had it. She leaves. Then we get one of my favorite Iroh scenes yet:

Iroh: I poured your tea because I wanted to and for no other reason.

Toph: People see me and think I'm weak. They want to take care of me, but I can take care of myself, by myself.

Iroh You sound like my nephew, always thinking you need to do things on your own, without anyone's support. There is nothing wrong with letting the people who love you help you. Not that I love you, I just met you.

The joke at the end gets them both laughing & Iroh goes on to explain that he is tracking Zuko & watching out for him. The conversation helps Toph, not because she relates to Zuko (who is just a hypothetical person to her right now anyway) but because she sees that Iroh needs Zuko.

This line at the end shows that Toph actually got more out of Iroh than he was perhaps willing to admit to himself: "Oh, and about your nephew, maybe you should tell him that you need him, too."

Iroh is another character I struggle to understand, though I feel like reading @Peony-Pearl's metas & thoughts on him has helped me gain insight. I think that Iroh was so focused on helping Zuko & looking out for him, he didn't consider that it might be mutually beneficial to their reconciliation if he just admitted that he needed Zuko too, but Toph figured it out right away. Also, props to Toph for her emotional intelligence here. She is brash so her ability to catch onto the nuances of relationships is easy to overlook, but it's there.

The fight scenes were probably my favorite parts of the episode, but I don't have much to say about them other than that they were badass. Ty Lee, Mai, & Azula are terrifying villains. When they show up, it's a lot scarier than when Zuko or Zhao showed up. They just feel so hyper-competent & unstoppable. There's a true "oh shit" feeling that drops when they pop up. Also, @Theowritesfiction mentioned that Ty Lee & Sokka's fight & her commenting on his cuteness afterward is a good reason Ty Lee/Sokka should be a more popular ship & I totally agree! Also, Ty Lee & Mai working seamlessly together for murder goals is cute.

I will never not love Azula imitating Zuko to explain to Aang who she is. Especially because Zuko later goes on to imitate Azula when planning how to get the Gaang to let him in. Siblings™!

The fight scene at the end with Aang, Azula, & Zuko is iconic. Again, I just don't have a lot to say about the fight scenes other than "neat!" The moment when Aang laughs at Zuko getting called "Zuzu" is a favorite for me, it's just so funny.

And of course, Azula doesn't truly "surrender with honor." She attacks Iroh. This was a smart move because it was a sure way to get Zuko to stop fighting & distract everyone while she ran away. Azula's devious mind shows itself in her every move.

Then we have a moment that gets me every time. Zuko chases away the Gaang when Katara tries to help. I felt this way the first time I watched the show & I stand by it now: This was the moment (so far) that has made me the most furious with Zuko. I'm not saying it's his actual lowest moment or the worst thing he's done or that I don't get that he sees them as enemies, I'm saying it makes me personally really angry. Iroh was just talking about how Zuko insists on doing everything on his own, & here he goes, demonstrating this flaw. If he'd accepted Katara's help as a healer, she could've possibly saved Iroh right there. If Iroh had died, Zuko would be at least partially responsible for turning away help. It's just very frustrating & infuriating for me.

That's all I have for this episode!

For the Iconic Behavior (behavior I personally think is Iconic) competition: Mai & Ty Lee get 100 points each for the fight with Sokka & Katara. Sorry, but the water siblings lost if it wasn't for Appa so they get none. Maybe I should've put Appa & Momo into this competition tbh but it's too late in the game now. Katara gets 100 points for the "I'M COMPLETELY CALM" moment though & Sokka gets 100 for putting up with the comments about how he doesn't count because he's not a bender. Katara gets 500 for saving Aang's life. I don't think Aang did anything special enough during this fight to earn any but he gets 300 for standing up for Appa. Azula gets 100 for the Zuko imitation. Oh, & I almost forgot it's Sokka who coins the phrase "Dangerous Ladies." Another 100. Points as they stand so far for Book 2:

Azula: 2700 Mai: 1200 Ty Lee: 1100 Iroh: 500 Zuko: 600 Toph: 1001 Katara: 1100 Sokka: 200 Ursa: 10 Aang: 300

[storytime-reviews]

Never Ever Getting Back Together Book Review

Eighteen-year-old Maya dumped her cheating ex-boyfriend Jordy two years ago. So, when she receives a call to participate in Second Chance Romance - a reality show in which the now-famous Jordy re-dates his ex-girlfriends - she isn't interested . . . until she realizes she can use this opportunity to exact her revenge. If she can make it to the final spot on the show, she can reject Jordy in front of the nation, and publicly break his heart. Maya's fellow contestants include Skye, the beautiful, charismatic girl Jordy cheated on Maya with. But as she spends more time with Jordy and Skye, Maya is torn.  Is there more than friendship between her and Skye? As the season finale approaches, can Maya execute her plan, or will she go off-script?

Rating: ★★★★

I absolutely loved this premise and just had to buy it. It’s exactly the kind of drama I always want to happen when I watch The Bachelor, and a much less intense version of what I love in UnREAL. Most of the way through, Never Ever Getting Back Together is an incredibly engaging read, absolutely full of drama and interesting characters. I also love that it’s full of both rage and humour, and Gonzales navigates the combination perfectly.

This book wouldn’t work if the reader doesn’t feel connected to both of the main characters, Maya and Skye; luckily Gonzales makes it work through the use of different character perspectives. However, as much as I loved Maya immediately, initially I found Skye to be incredibly annoying and frustrating. Perhaps this was due to the fact that Maya’s perspective is more prominent towards the beginning, and Skye has already been manipulated into disbelieving her. But as the storyline continues, I came to like Skye as well...just not as much as Maya. Near the novel’s end, I also found Skye start to become more irritating again based on some of her choices and comments she makes to Maya. But again, maybe it’s because I felt more connected to Maya and her path of revenge and refusal to let anything, or anyone, get in her way.

Jordy is absolutely the perfect villain – you cannot help but hate him and enjoy the ride as his life and the facade he has created begins to fall apart because of the ways in which he has treated these women. He’s completely misogynistic and emotionally abusive, and gaslights all of the women as he tries to influence them. It’s evident from the beginning that he is playing all of them, but when the women start to realise he’s been saying the same things to all of them the story really starts to heat up. I love when a narrative focuses on women uniting together against a man who has treated them all badly and they take him down together, and Never Ever Getting Back Together ticks all those boxes.

Always my favourite aspects of these kinds of books are the friendships that develop between women when they realise they are not each other’s enemies just because a man has been manipulating them to believe that. The cherry on top is of course the relationship that develops between Maya and Skye, particularly due to the two of them being heavily pitted against each other from the beginning.

However, as much as I enjoyed the journey, the ending just didn’t quite hit the right spot for me. I guess I just wanted a bit more drama, and whilst the viral campaign at the very end fixed it a little, I guess it just didn’t quite deliver on my expectations.

Warnings: cheating, emotional abuse, sexism & misogyny

[bad-advice-its-very-bad]

tw general mentions of mental health

so i have this friend. let's call them emily. i've known emily for two years now, and they've grown to be one of my closest friends. mostly because we both really struggle with mental health stuff and at that point in my life no one else knew about those struggles. we helped each other through a lot of really crappy stuff and times. the difference is, in those two years, i've gone to, and am still in therapy, and have learned coping skills, have a support system etc etc etc ive tried convincing emily (on numerous occasions) to do the same, but they consistently refuse to do so, and they still pretty much only have me. there's also a ton of other stuff, but i could write a ten page essay about that. pretty much, our friendship, even though it's great feels kind of one-sided where im reaching out and they take weeks or months to respond (if they do at all) and dont really talk to me when we see each other in person and it's just getting really draining emotionally. so a few days ago, i finally make the decision to, well, not cut them off but pretty much tell them i'd had enough and im going to take a break for a while. they responded and pretty much just went straight to the self-deprecation (pretty much im sorry im so worthless and can't even maintain a friendship). and while im just so relieved that i've cut them off, more or less, to some degree, im just so worried since im all they have and if im gone who knows what will happen. so what should i do?

sorry for the long message

hum, that’s a tricky one.

First things first, I’d shove a WHOLE lotta resources on mental health in their messages. I know it may seem like your annoying them, but if it’s that bad they deserve to know there’s helplines and chats and groups that they can turn to. (I suggest vet them before you send them)

Secondly, sometimes it’s hard for people to realize they are allowed to reach out for help. Even if they only think it’s minor or it will take valuable space for others that “ are worst than them” But they have every right to reach out for help, their allowed to go to people with minor issues or major issues. And if you can somehow get that through their head you’ll probably see some improvement.

thirdly, I don’t think they can access traditional in person therapy as it seems. You can never know why, personally for me it’s a whole BIG awful talk about my mental health that I never want to tell my family. And it might be a similar situation with your friend, so unorthodox ways to get that same therapy experience might benefit them alot.

fourthly, you can’t help everyone. Sometimes it’s on them to figure out how to cope and understand how to get better, and even though you love them and care deeply it’s hard to get them to understand that. If you’re worried your friend might be engaging in risky behaviors (S/H, alcoholism, drugs, suicidal behavior, taking too many risks for no apparent reason.)

I suggest trying to talk to them about harm reduction.

fifthly, you being emotionally drained and exhausted by being their therapist friend is totally valid. your friend saying self deprecating things is just a symptom of a bigger problem they have, it's not your fault or anything you need a break from them. if they were in the same situation they would do the same thing, it's hard to manage both your mental health and your friends. I don't blame you for being exhausted, the reason I do this stuff is because I'm exhausted by my own problems and this is a healthy and constructive way to help both you and me. your helping your friend out of love, but also obligation.

I think a good plan to do is.

give your friend a pep talk and show them tons of alternate ways to access therapy that is not in person.

give them helpline information and tell the "I've known you for so long, I'd never try to hurt you. I just want you to know there's options if life gets hard and I'm not around

tell them about harm reduction, and CURB any and all negative connotations about addiction and self harm. if they are suffering the best thing you can do is be accepting and show them ways to safely and also reduce the harm of the addictions/self harm.

tell them if they are being abused. in anyway period, they can trust you to not victim blame or something without knowing the full story. we don't know what's happening with them, but we have to be kind and caring if that's the reason for her mental health. tell them "it was never your fault, you didn't know." or "you were just a kid, it was never you that was the problem but how you were treated. it's okay to be upset or angry, or grieve the life you should have had. that's normal. trust me I'm here for you."

also if the whole abuse thing is a yes, give them tons of abuse helplines. you and I don't know how to go forward with that knowledge but the helplines know how to.

support them and tell them truely why you feel drained (if you Hadn't already.) and tell them you actually care alot about them and this is not an attack or that your mad at them or anything. your overwhelmed too, and you both should feel not overwhelmed. (VERY IMPORTANT, YOU HAVE TO SAY YOUR NOT ANGRY OR ANYTHING. mentally ill people tend to think the worst if you don't say it. be kind and caring, and they should not feel so bad.)

if that doesn't work, I think you yourself should call a helpline and ask about strategies to help your friend. they should know a lot more than both you and me.

thank you for sending an ask in, this has been interesting!

I hope you can figure out a way to help your friend.

if worst comes to worse, I suggest you give your friend character.ai's psychologist's link to your friend. it's better than nothing, and it's surprisingly helped me too. so it might help your friend open up.

here's the link LINK

I hope I was able to provide a push in the right direction, remember this is the BAD advice blog. not everything will work, sometimes we both have to fail a bit to figure out the best way to help people.

[scarefox]

I have one of the super hypocritical “we have farm animals and kill them ourselves instead of buying mass-produced meat” people as coworker....

Nothing against farmer and people who raise animals for food. BUT that woman puts them literally in the same bad conditions and disrespects the animals like massproduction does.... But she’s so proud and entitled on how her home made meat is so much better than store bought. But her animals have just the same shitty life!

She doesn’t care about their well being, not about proper care nor about laws. The things she told me are enough for me to not asking her more about this topic (she’s a very unpleasant backstabby - friendly at front, lying and ignorant person in general I don’t want to engage with more than being coworkers).

But every time one of my rabbits is a bit sick and stops eating I have to remember, that she:

had 2 giant flemish rabbits for food (ok whatever)

but she held them in the smallest boxes and never let them out (buns NEED running space 24/7), gave them lame and bad food (only pellets and hay.... pellets are bad for their digestive system and teeth)

didn’t even know rabbits love bananas (many fruits and veggies)?? when I told her my buns love banana as treat, she was like “WHAT??? They can eat that??” Ma’am there are literally tons of websites online about what rabbits can and SHOULD eat.... I felt so sad for her buns for never getting the joy of tasting a banana while sitting in prison their whole life

then she thought it was two males, But one got pregnant and she refused to believe that the other then OBVIOULSY was a female and SOMEHOW got together with her male or a male at the previous owner (she doesn’t even know that female rabbits can hold sperm in their body for WEEKS after 1 time sex with a male and can get pregnant again right after giving birth... Things you should know as a rabbit owner!!)

yea and then the worst part is that whenever one of her now many rabbits got sick and stopped eating she just killed them and ate them...... Despite this being super shitty and disrespectful to the animal which could possibly get fixed easy (I can fix mines stomach ache within 24h and they are fine again....), she and her fam literally ate meat from a sick animal she didn’t know what kind of sickness they had !!! W T F but then says shit like store bought meat tastes like chemicals that she had to throw a whole goose away that one time she had to buy one....

also the way she doesn’t understand that her kids don’t want to engage and clean the rabbit boxes when they know they will get eaten some day... she really sees them as objects their kids could play with and expects her kids not to get emotionally attached to them 

But she also told me that she will kill her still young, just bought, rooster just because he sounds wrong.... Also her nosy neighbors called the police on her once because she ate her mini pet pig.... WHICH IS ILLEGAL IN GERMANY you can only kill and eat the big pigs that are a special breed. EVERY other animal that doesn’t classify as food animal is not allowed to get killed unless it’s suffering or is a danger to others. (and you need licenses to kill animals too: hunter, butcher, farmer, vet). She got sued for the pig. Good.

[moviesessionwithmyhubby]

Logical Capricorn and Emotional Pisces

#notamovieexplanation Men are mostly logical, but women are primarily emotional, my husband once said to me. I didn't trust him at first. I thought, "Anyone can be both logical and emotional." It depends on each individual. But with time, I've started to change my viewpoint.

Whenever me and my husband engage in an intense dialogue or deliberate on a challenging topic, it usually ends up with an upset feeling. Sometimes, my husband becomes offended, not due to a misalignment of our thoughts, but rather because he cannot understand the reason behind my raised emotional state, my tendency to view the matter as a problem or issue, and the way I performed myself in an approach that caused him to perceive his thoughts as inappropriate. Because for him, it is merely a discussion, a dialogue regarding a topic where he is open to diverse perspectives, rather than to define who’s right and who’s wrong.

My husband is a logical Capricorn According to his line of reasoning, we are now discussing the topic together. The conversation needs to circle back to this topic. We may argue, we can each present our own position, and we can get to the conclusion of this talk with no consensus on anything, but we shouldn't bring any feelings into this argument. Why, for example, do you inject emotions into such a dry political debate? It is completely without value. I am an emotional Pisces But I find that I can't help but feel emotional when there is a strong debate or discussion about a difficult topic. Our chat first begins in a pretty regular way with us debating the issue or exchanging perspectives. But as the discussion continues and the gap between our points of view widens, I find myself wondering, "Why can't he understand my point of view?" I become a bit frustrated as I attempt to defend my viewpoint and persuade him of it, or better yet, convince him to agree with it. And by being determined, heated, or attempting to convince him that my viewpoint is correct, I somehow manage to convince him that his notion is flawed and that his way of thinking about it is inappropriate, despite the fact that I don't intend to. After some of our conversations, I realize that I am unable to entirely separate it, unlike him. My husband can separate things well. For example, when my husband and I are simply discussing a subject, it's absolutely acceptable if we come to different conclusions, no harsh feeling by pointing finger to each other to prove they’re wrong. But it's not simply a conversation without any feeling for me, I tend to defense myself and my idea, even though I don’t need to do it. As a result, we both get unhappy when I bring up emotions in the conversation, because it becomes harsh feelings. I ended up hurting him when I gave him the impression that I was going after him to disprove his theory. Logical Capricorn and Emotional Pisces. This is us.

I recall that we once got into a little bit of a fight about something (I'm not sure what it was since we're Dory). But I can still recall the major trigger for that argument—my husband's question, "Did I say anything wrong?” He asked me in the middle of the debate, "What's your problem?"

You know how I interpreted that phrase at the time: "Did I say anything wrong? What's your problem?" I interpreted that to mean something along the lines of,  "I didn't say anything wrong. Why are you crying? What's your problem?". As you could guess, I became furious. After that, I felt as if I had nothing else to say since the discourse had come to an end. Since I had to admit it rationally, he said nothing wrong. But emotionally for me, he also didn't speak correctly either. I felt at that point in our conversation that he was unable to understand me or what I was trying to say, because he felt I was always becoming intense or inventing something. And even though he was attempting to soothe me, I refused to listen to anything he had to say because of that.

But later, when we had finally calmed down. We discussed what happened between us throughout our conversation. I later discovered that when my husband asked me if he said anything inappropriate or what the issue was, he was only trying to make sure that he hadn't offended me in any way. But he didn't anticipate that I would interpret it in a different way. This is when I realized that our mindsets or our hardcores are different. Logical Capricorn and Emotional Pisces. Then what do we do about this difference? We first acknowledged our differences. Second, we are attempting to find a middle ground by: + attempting to keep the conversation on-topic rather than attempting to decide who has the right or incorrect opinion (fun fact: normally I realized my husband is right but I don’t want to admit it lol) + attempting to keep our voices down and avoid interfering with one another while they are expressing their ideas + allowing one another room to calm down (This was my husband's suggestion. Me, I typically want to discuss the issue)

And ultimately telling kind words with one another. Because what matters after all is our love toward each other, not any hard subject or who’s right and who’s wrong. Love is simple. You don't need a logical mind to understand it, you don't need an emotional feeling to feel it either.

[jrueships]

PG and klay? Explain please

they Kiss.

LISTEN nothing Validates a bee more then two men wearing two similar outfits at two different times. Eccentric boat driver who babies his boat meets equally eccentric pilot who babies his plane. They race. They argue. Pg tries landing on Klays ship. Klay kills him. They kiss. It just makes SENSE to me but of COURSE im gonna help shed Light to the ethereals above ! Patron Saint of.. being a patron Saint! SO OBVIOUSLY, i have good reasons to put these two together and it's that they're both . Hot. Obviously. IM KIDDING i have more OK LISTEN just Listen

THEIR WHOLE THING is that it sounds Absurd. Because it DOES. and it IS. And that's why they're GREAT. On the surface they might have their stark differences, but i feel like emotionally they're Very similar and faced some similar things! Even their relationships with others are similar! But also not? It's that kinda foil kinda not comparison that's so unexplainable but interesting. They're both malewives to a girlboss (steph, kawhi). They both got a friend who feels very deeply which can get him in some fights (draymond, pat bev). They're goin different paths marked with similar stones but think they're totally different travelers just cus they see sights. Pg and klay carry the same chill possibly cryptic vibe when they're just having a good time with friends, but when something irks them, they can act a Lil a fool.. ( they both got leo moon disease.) Klay will throw up a shot he shouldn't cause he feels like he needs to be doing more so expectations won't be his downfall, pg will call a buzzerbeater a bad shot cause he's disappointed and disrespected. They're SIMILAR but the holy shit somebody is playin that nursery rhyme but Edgy shit on the speakers rn.. now i know what everyone's complainin about holy shit this song sucks! ANYWAYS they're way more similar than one would think, ESPECIALLY them. Cus they HAVE talked before... you kinda gotta in nba. That's why it's a league of people who have sex with each other. Tumblrinas are just talking on what's happened, what's BEEN happenin!! i mean LOOK AT THIS SHIT! SEX RIGHT BEFORE OUR EY E S !!!

Heads and tails of a coin men interacting. 100 killed 500 critically injured. Why they rubbin their Bodies so hard bro! It's just nervous mannerisms? Why do you, as a Man, have nervous mannerisms when engaging in a battle of Tongue with Another Man ? Hm 🤨? Scientists would like to know 🤔! Pg's little elbow rub, klay musing over his thoughts while smoothing over his hands. The article is about pg and klay discussing their future together and naturally chose a photo of pg asking klay out to prom! It just makes sense! They Kiss! They kissed!!

to be more In Depth, pg was still on the pacers but he was on his last year with his contract. And klay was coming to new discussions of HIS contract. Plus with it being the Olympics aka Tampering Holiday, it was a PERFECT time for pg to STRIKE!!! to ask klay out for A DATE! A date involving Los Angeles lakers unfortunately. But a date nonetheless!!!

Klay turned him down unfortunately. Not for the date though, he went the one day but he didn't want anything serious. Pg is charming, possible boyfriend material, but for like three days max. No way they could survive a Serious relationship. They both think the other is Too negative for something while they're too positive for something. Klay feels like pg is too immature compared to himself who is too mature. He waits until hes at a higher level to respond to criticism. But pg feels like klay is too tied down compared to himself who is too loose. Klays too busy pining for Mr golden boy steph while pg is free to chase whomever without weight. BUT THEY BOTH SHARE THE FACT THAT THEY LIKE HAVING HIGHER PERCEPTIONS OF THEMSELVES COMPARED TO OTHERS! Yeah they might have different THOUGHTS but they have similar thinking Processes. They bond on a problem but because it's a problem, they just refuse to really talk so they wont have to acknowledge it. Ships that have more in common than they think yet refuse to think is just MWAH. So complex so compelling! GOIN OFF pgs Olympic flirtations...

Think injuries. They both had injuries they had to climb back from. Are WORKING to climb back from. Maybe klay visited pg after that awful leg incident. Showed pg he's not some tied down smhuck working all for the efforts of one guy as pg likes to believe he is. And cause of klays actions, pg calls klay when he's rehabbing off HIS injury, which in turn shows klay that pg has more character to him than once thought. IT'S THE WAY they both can Change each other by actually putting effort into helping the other. They're two gears that need to spin in each other's directions in order to get the motor movin, NAMEAN? They got an unlikely relationship where one builds off another, and NO ONE expects it. That's what makes it so GOOD. It's UNEXPECTED unlocked potential! That starts something new! And GOOD! When no one takes anything serious, nothin gets done. But when they really start makin an effort to get connected, shit happens

IN SHORT

Guy who thinks guy is cringe + guy who thinks guy is cringe = Unexpected Romance of a Lifetime

[dxmedstudent]

Dx, I am feeling increasingly exasperated with online dating. I'm personally not looking for hook ups and would really like to find something real. Were there any apps/websites where you found people seemed a bit more serious about things? Also any advice generally on how to approach things?

Hey! Sure, I'll do my best :) I just realised that I'm not sure of your gender or the gender/s of people you are looking to meet - bear in mind that my advice is coming from a heteroish woman who was meeting men, but I hope it can be useful regardless! I personally used match.com (which has an app). I got into online dating in my 30s because by that point I'd long realised that if I was going to meet someone via friends I already would have done it, and by that age most people you work with are either happily coupled up, or single for very good reasons. I mostly interacted with men in their mid to late 30s, and to be fair, all the guys I went on dates with seemed serious. I do feel that my friends who used free services like tinder or OKC got more dick pics (and my bi friend got a lot of people looking for a unicorn, but I digress!), though I know friends who met their partner through bumble, POF or other services, too. I picked it because some of my friends had had success with it, it's one of the bigger dating apps so there were potentially more people. And because it was a paid service. See, I reckoned that when people are paying to use a service, they are more likely to be taking things seriously because they are putting in some money and effort to do it. I thought this would also make guys behave because you're less likely to send dick pics if your paid membership is going to get suspended. And I think I was right about that. That's also part of the reason I only engaged guys who had properly filled in their profile, including writing a description of themselves and their interests. I felt that if a guy can't be bothered to write a paragraph about himself, he isn't really putting in any effort into finding someone serious. Ignore people whose patter focuses on your looks. My profile had lots of hooks for people to start conversations with, and plenty of guys wrote charming, well thought out messages, including my now fiance DxDude. I absolutely didn't engage with guys who ignored my profile and wrote me generic "hey your hot" messages or copy pasted intro messages because, well... I had zero faith that they engaged with my profile beyond the picture, and because I had more than enough people writing in who did make some semblance of effort. I figured that the people who are out to just hook up are a lot less likely to make any genuine effort. I would say that most of the time, if a guy didn't have a picture up or didn't have a profile up and I did have a connversation with him, he didn't appear as invested, so I'd pass that on as a suggestion. Because I knew that I'd often be busy and that messaging or phone calls would be key to any budding relationship with me, I also refused to continue talking to guys who just couldn't hold a conversation. If he's not invested enough to ask a few questions about what you like and how you're doing, then he's not going to put in the effort for a relationship.

Obviously nobody is emotionally invested during the early date stage, but they should feel polite and engaged - like someone who wants to get to know you. My conversations with DxDude felt easy from the start - we were sharing book and film recommendations and talking about our hobbies (especially the shared ones!) and weird facts about our jobs, and that easy banter like we've always been best friends never really went away. What I'm saying is that whilst it's always a little weird meeting new people, that doesn't mean it'll be awkward. I had plenty of dates with guys that went well (lack of chemistry aside), so don't force it if it just feels wrong. I also declined guys who asked for last minute dates for the same evening (literally, had a guy who kept asking me at like 5pm whether I'd like our first date to be like 8pm the same day - dude, you haven't even met me, where do you get the gall to treat me like a booty call?). If a guy ghosted me mid convo, that was it, he was dead to me. Occasionally I'd have guys crawl back MONTHS later, acting as if nothing had happened - absolutely do not entertain anyone who doesn't treat you as a polite priority. Life happens, and people can genuinely rearrange, but if anyone is making you feel fobbed off, then absolutely listen to your gut. So I'd say: engage earnestly. Look for people who seem to put time, effort and consideration in, and who genuinely seem to have similar interests. And be absolutely ruthless if you feel people are being half-assed with you. The hard thing is, a lot of people fib about what they want - I imagine a chunk of people on dating sites say they want to date or look for marriage but they really want nothing of the sort, they just know that's most likely to get them into someone else's pants. So I would watch how people act, not just what they say. And if you're not sure, I'd raise it early on with them. The right time is to sleep with someone depends on the person involved - for some people it's the first date, for others it's weeks or months down the line, for others it may be after engagement or marriage. The kind of person worth being with won't care if you slept with them 2 dates or 2 months in. But I would say don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do. Remember that sex is just sex - it doesn't promise that things will work out or that the other person will love you or want a relationship with you. If you need it to be special, then have sex when you feel secure. If it's just sex for you, have sex whenever you want :) I have friends who usually have sex on the first date, and it hasn't stopped them forming relationships after those dates. Just remember to use protection, and get regular STI checks if you're having fun with different people :) And have a conversation about exclusivity and if it's heading towards being a relationship early - again, there's no one right time to do it, but you want to have that conversation when you know you want a relationship with that person, and before you're very far along or very emotionally involved.

I hope this helps! More than happy for others to chip in.