#i replayed ut the other day so

[charpim]

[theonottsbxtch]

Stay with Me | LS2

a/n: it’s 4am, i’m sad and in bed so now you have to suffer with me smau + written | logan x ex!reader

fc: pinterest

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yn’s appartment - london 10:46pm

there was a faint knock at yn’s apartment door. for a moment, she found herself paralysed, sat at the kitchen island, knowing exactly who was on the other side. the memory of their public breakup, where tears had flowed freely and hearts had broken visibly, replayed in her mind. part of her wanted to leave him standing there, to make him feel the same abandonment she'd felt. yet, another part of her yearned to open the door and pretend that nothing had ever happened, to fall into the comfort of his arms as if the past four months hadn't been filled with silence and longing.

taking a deep breath, she set her phone down and cautiously approached the door. she hesitated, her heart pounding as she checked the peephole. the sight she glimpsed through the small glass circle made her stomach twist. twisting the lock with trembling fingers, she pulled the door open, and the sight before her took her breath away. logan stood there, a shadow of the man she remembered. his once vibrant, playful eyes were now red and bloodshot, a faded grey hoodie hanging loosely over an old band tee she’d given him. his hair was disheveled, and he looked worn, as though the world had beaten him down.

seeing him like this, so vulnerable and broken, she couldn't stop herself. she stepped forward, her heart aching, and wrapped her arms around him. the familiar scent of him, mixed with a hint of cologne and something distinctly him, flooded her senses. just like the old days, his head dropped onto her shoulder, and she instinctively reached up, running her fingers through his messy blonde hair. ut felt both foreign and familiar, a bittersweet reminder of what they once had.

gently, she pulled him inside, closing and locking the door behind them, her eyes darting around to ensure no one had seen him enter. the last thing she needed was another media frenzy. as logan stepped further into the apartment, he looked around, a ghost haunting a place that had once been his home. the room felt different, colder, as if his absence had sucked the warmth out of it.

"i heard what happened," yn broke the heavy silence, her voice soft. logan turned to face her, his eyes searching hers for something, perhaps forgiveness or understanding. she resisted the urge to close the distance between them again, to hold him and never let go. "i’m sorry."

logan let out a bitter laugh, the sound void of any real humor. "it was bound to happen," he muttered, his voice thick with resignation. the way he said it, as if the way he'd been treated was something he deserved, made her chest tighten.

"it doesn't mean you're not allowed to feel shit about it," she replied, her voice firmer. she hated seeing him like this, so defeated and hopeless.

he looked down at his feet, the once pristine trainers now scuffed and dirty. he fiddled with his phone in his pocket, avoiding her gaze. "i was going to get replaced anyway," he mumbled, as if trying to convince himself that it was true.

she shook her head, frustration slightly bubbling up inside her. "logan, that's not—"

"i came to apologise," he interrupted, finally looking up at her. the vulnerability in his eyes was almost too much to bear. "four months later?" she asked, a mix of disbelief and hurt in her voice. she had waited for so long, clinging to hope, and now he was here, apologising as if that could undo the pain.

he sighed, running a hand through his hair, a gesture she knew all too well. "i..." he struggled for words, his voice breaking slightly. "yeah. i’m sorry it took so long. i just... didn't know how to face you after everything."

as logan stood there, searching yn’s face for any sign of what she was feeling, he suddenly looked away, his shoulders slumping. the weight of everything seemed to press down on him, and he ran a hand through his messy hair, letting out a shaky breath.

"yn," he began, his voice raw and unsteady, "everything in my life has been falling apart. not just with us... but with everything." he looked back at her, his eyes tired. "racing, the friends, my family... it's all gone to shit. and i kept thinking, if i could just hold it together, i could find a way to fix it all."

she felt a pang of sympathy, her frustration momentarily overshadowed by concern. "logan, you don't have to—"

he shook his head, cutting her off. "no, i do. i need you to understand." his voice cracked, and he took a step closer, as if drawn to her by some invisible force. "you were the only one who ever really understood me. the only one who saw me for who i am, not just what I could be or what I failed at. i pushed you away because i was scared, but i always knew you were the one person who got me."

tears welled up in yn’s eyes as she listened to him, her heart aching for the pain he was clearly feeling. she wanted to reach out, to comfort him, but she stayed rooted in place, struggling with her own emotions.

logan’s voice broke as he continued, his words spilling out in a rush. "i know i don't deserve you back. i don't expect you to forgive me or to want me in your life again. but i couldn't live with myself if i didn't tell you... i’m sorry. for everything. for hurting you, for being a coward, for not being the person you deserved."

he looked at her, his expression one of utter defeat. "i’m so, so sorry, yn. i don't know what to do without you. everything feels wrong, and i just... i just wanted you to know that."

before she could respond, logan’s composure crumbled. tears streamed down his face, and he let out a choked sob, his body shaking. the sight of him so broken and vulnerable broke down the last of her defenses. she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close. he buried his face in her shoulder, his sobs muffled against her.

for a long moment, they stood there, holding each other. yn felt the warmth of his tears soaking into her shirt, and she stroked his back soothingly, her own tears silently falling. the pain and confusion of the past months seemed to dissolve in that moment, replaced by a deep, shared sorrow.

logan clung to her as if she were his lifeline, his cries slowly subsiding into quiet sniffles. he pulled back slightly, just enough to look at her, his eyes red and puffy. "thank you," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "for listening. for being here. even if it's just for now... thank you."

yn nodded, wiping away a tear from his cheek. "you’re welcome," she replied softly. "but, logan... i can't promise anything. i need time to think about everything."

he nodded, a flicker of understanding in his eyes. “i get it," he said, his voice steadying. "take all the time you need. i just... i just needed to tell you. and i hope... i hope you find the happiness you deserve, with or without me."

she looked into his eyes, seeing the raw vulnerability and honesty there. taking a deep breath, she decided to share her own truth. "logan," she began, her voice trembling slightly, “i still love you. even after everything, i still love you. it just... it might take some time for me to figure out if we can really make this work again."

his eyes widened, hope and disbelief mingling in his expression. "you still love me?" he echoed, his voice barely above a whisper.

she nodded, her own tears starting to fall again. "yes, i do. but love alone isn't always enough. we need to rebuild trust, to heal from the past. and that takes time."

logan reached out and gently cupped her face, his thumb brushing away her tears. "i’ll wait," he promised, his voice filled with a newfound determination. "i’ll do whatever it takes to prove that i can be the person you deserve. i don't expect it to be easy, but I'm willing to fight for us."

yn placed her hand over his, closing her eyes for a moment to savor the warmth of his touch. "we’ll see," she said softly, opening her eyes to meet his. "for now, let's just take it one step at a time."

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everyone needs a @/yourbestfriend in their life

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userone: i love their friendship

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yourusername: yup

userthree: what’s that supposed to mean

userfour: not logan lurking in the likes

userfive: who got her those flowers

usersix: has she moved on?

logansargeant

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thank you for having me @/goodmorningbritain

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userone: he’s not back in the states for summer break?

usertwo: selfcare king

userthree: rumour was he was seen in yn’s neighbourhood

userfour: matcha >>>>

alex_albon: waiting for you to take me to that cafe you talk so highly of 😐

logansargeant: tomorrow?

alex_albon: i guess i can free my schedule for you 🙄

userfive: i’m going to miss logan and alex together

usersix: good riddance

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surround yourself with the right people

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userone: preach

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yourusername: intertwining soullsssss

userthree: is that logan??

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userfive: pls tell me my parents are getting back together

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recharging 🔋

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userone: and what if i told you that was my husband, what next?

usertwo: who looks so AH

userthree: who’s here after having seen yn’s story?

userfour: 👀👀

alex_albon: mate help me lily wont stop flaunting that she got more fish

logansargeant: we’re both suffering

userfive: both? 👀

usersix: oh i fear he cleared all you haters with this post

userseven: i’m being delusional again

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love wins

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yourusername: thank you for everything

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yourusername: clearing my uni schedule as we speak

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yourusername: sorry bbs

userfive: my delusions were right

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userseven: mum and dad

usereight: now that they’re back together, everyone repeat after me FUCK WILLIAMS 🗣️

logansargeant: luckiest man ever

yourusername: i love you 🤍🩵

logansargeant: i love you more, there is no one i would want by my side more than you 🤍🩵

usernine: omw to my date with my shotgun!!

userten: got room for one more?

[oliverstarksbae]

Picked up pieces

♡ hi, this is my first ever one shot, so this might be bad, but I hope you enjoy 😉

♡ summary: in which they realize they are made to pick each other pieces

Evan buckley was a player but that was before he met (y/n) she very much was the complete opposite "the ray of sunshine type of girl" So why did she fall in love with him beacuse behind the bad boy act was someone who was hurt and needed some one .

Now it was a normal Saturday he was at work she was at home doing some house work at there shared home made some food read a book and catch up on her favorite show

It had now hit 11pm Evans shift does not finish till 2 so she went to the living room and saw the news.

When she click channel 8 she heard "this is a live broadcast of a horrific hotel fire so far many firefighters are having a though time helping." said a red hair woman

(Y/n's) mind spiraled of what she heard but then took a worried breath beacus the first thing the she thought was ok maybe this is a different firehouse in the 118 area beacuse they were busy

She tried and tried to belive that but then she saw the 118 written on the firetruck that's when she panicked and started to pace around the house with her mind full of worry but it was still not his time to get off so she decided to look at her phone every 5 seconds for the time he gets off.

Evan buckley was stressed to say the least first he was trapped where there was a huge fire which he got out of beacuse he thought of who he cause the most for and how if he did not get out how many people would have been devastated

Then he was not able to save someone today which hurt worst then he thought it would.

He went on his phone and called (y/n) by pressing the contact lover girl <3 ❤️

Then the first thing he heard was, "OH MY GOD EVAN ARE YOU OK I WAS SO WORRIED I SAW ON THE NEW-"

"I'm fine" he replied with not so nice but not that serious tone still in shock on what happen

"Ok let me know when you get home E I love you" said (y/n)

" Yeah see you bye" he said not realizing that he did not say I love you back

(Y/n) on the other hand was confused but decided not to think much beacuse maybe he was tired?

*A few minutes later *

A knock sounded on the door she rushed up to it and ran to evan the give him a hug

"Oh my god, evan, I was so worried. I'm so glad you're ok." she pulled him into a hug, but then he started shaking, and it lok like he was going to cry?

"Evan are you ok? Ok-i-I- need you to calm down fallow my breathing ok?" He agreed while shaking and tears slowing coming down his face

"Baby, I need you to tell me why you are crying. Are you hurt-" he gulped and said, "No-no im-not"

"Ok did something happen?" She asked

"Yes-yes-some-thing-did," he said

"Ok, what happened? I need you to tell me when you're ready, ok?"

"I w-as g-etting some-one an-d we put h-Im on the gurny and in the amb-ul-an-ce he cod-ed" he said it while it replaying in his mind what happened

" E oh my God it's ok you did the best you can and you saved many people ok I love you I want you to know that"

"B-ut I didn't save them I ki-lled hi-m"

"Evan buckley do not think that way you did the best you can and your ability to risk your life every day for strangers now I think you should go take a shower and get ready for bed"

He replied with a happy gentle smile

After everyone was done they both hopped

Onto bad a cuddled she being to big spoon

And slowly he fell asleep but before he said.

"I love you so much and thank you for being there for me"

"Of course I am there for you now I'm tried so goodnight"

"Good night"

Before she fell asleep she thought about what she said and she knew he was hurt plot but she really didn't think it was bad enough for this to happen but she realizedThey were made for each to pick up the pieces other people broke

[naoknowswhat]

I made a Clover sketch tonight, look at him I love him (and i also really like how it turned out wth)

and IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE THIS ITTY BITTY TINY MAN. i would NOT hesitate to die for him in a situation where such methods are needed.

Now before you continue I warn you the following is basically me rambling about how much I fucking love undertale yellow heheheh (Also a lot of spoilers ahead).

I have spent the whole day playing this stupid (fantastic, amazing, marvelous) game, I kid you not that I went from the end of the ruins to the fucking steamworks, which said out loud doesn't sound like a lot of time but uhhh for me it was if you consider that I've investigated EVERY FUCKING INCH OF THE MAP.

I'm not complaining, oh ho ho (merry Xmas) I'm not complaining because its been the most fun I've had playing a game in a WHILE, its made my life better and now im gonna spend the rest of the year (and probably more) obsessed over all the characters and their stories (mostly Clover and Martlet ngl).

But I gotta admit that even if I find the Ut yellow's characters a lot different than the ones from the original game, I can't help but love them the same. Look, I'm no expert on character design but I smile every time I see Martlet comment something or simply being on screen, I start laughing whenever I see a hint of Mo on any frame, heck you mention any of the characters and I immediately start smiling like an idiot, and the whole scene with North Star? The Feisty Five?? CEROBA?? I died, the moment I stepped on the town I fucking died.

I remember being really, REALLY into undertale when I was like 10-11 years old, and suddenly opening yt one day and watching my favourite YouTuber play the demo of this fan game, and i remember thinking "oh wow that game looks really cool!" Simply because of the concept of watching how it was like for any of the other souls to go through the underground, instead of Frisk. AND NOW, YEARS LATER I GET TO PLAY IT BY MYSELF, you don't know how special this game is for me.

For me it isn't only a fan game, or the story of another fallen human, for me it's getting an opportunity to enjoy the main thing that inspired me back the from zero, getting to learn about new characters, about new stories, and new perspectives. For me it's also getting an opportunity to meet them all, to be their "friend" and to live an adventure all by myself because back then i could only sit and watch everyone else do all the things i wanted to do, because back then i could only look at them all having fun, laughing with the good things and crying with the bad memories while separated through a screen.

Today I got to meet them all and to laugh with the unexpected dialogue, while learning that even in a fictional story not everything is painted in bright pink, I saw them get into trouble and also helped them overcome it, and it was amazing.

I also got to die and die and die again and again because I realised at the beginning of the game that I'm really bad at it (i cant blame the controller, I know it :( ), but it also made me promise myself that i would keep going no matter what, because i really wanted to see what's next. Heck you could say I kept going because of my determination ;).

I haven't finished the game yet, but I already know I'm gonna replay it over and over, I wanna catch every detail, investigate and discover every mystery, and i wanna make so many theories already, I CAN'T WAIT TO LOVE THIS GAME.

So for now have a not-so-quick sketch of Clover, the bearer of the yellow soul, the one who has quickly made way into my heart, and it seems the little shit is now living there rent free.

If you've read all the way to the end wth is wrong with you, and also thanks a lot for the attention, I was really excited to talk about this game to someone but didn't know how to do it, so I figured tumblr was the place pla to write for an hour, so the short-drawing post is now my review of the game hehehehe.

Anyway thanks for reading to the very end, I hope you have an amazing rest of the year, and most importantly a great begining of the new one <3.

[wisecrackingeric-2]

hi eric its me ian

do you like pokémon because i’ve heard you like pokémon and i. i really. really like it too. please. i’ve been a fan since i was little and have played at least one game out of each generation please can we talk. i. ough. i need to know your faves regions pokémon characters the like

@eggo-tistical HELLO HELLO HELLO IM SOSOSOSOSOSO SORRY ITS TAKEN ME S O LONG TO ANSWER THIS IVE BEEN BISY ALL DAY BUT I AM CURRENTLY RUNNING AROUND IN CIRCLES VIBRATING OVER THIS ASK OH MY G O D POKÉMON IS MY SPECIAL INTEREST I LOVE IT SM (I’ll keep all of this under the cut just so I don’t clog up peoples dashboards BDBSBSBSBSH)

OKOKOKOKOK so first things first the region/generation IIIIIIIII was introduced into was Gen 6 aka Kalos (yes I am young HAHSWBWHEH) and oh my G O D I have. SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH NOSTALGIA FOR THAT GEN. I replay X&Y AAAAALLL THE TIME just cuz I love those games S O DAMN MUCH?????? Like the design of the region is so pretty and the Pokémon designed are so unique and the music is so,,,,,, mwuah perfect. Nuzlocke comics also got really big around that time so that’s how I was introduced into Nuzlocking and HOOOOOOOOOO BOYO BOY

I AM A M A S S I V E NUZLOCKER. I LOVE NUZLOCKES SM. THEYRE MY FAVOURITE THINGS EVER if I’m not writing an essay over Luis you can GUARENTEE I’ll be doing a Nuzlocke. I got into them cuz I ADORED the storytelling aspect and all the creative comics but I’ve stuck around cuz I just LOVE the problem solving/mathematics part of them?????? I love all the insane strategies and statistics runners come up with and I can easily just watch multi-hour Nuzlocke runs for days on end

But going back on track kinda but also on the subject of Nuzlockes my absolute FAAAAAAVORITE region/generation is EASILY Gen 4 and Platinum. In 2020 I started my first ever Nuzlocke of Platinum and tk say that singular playthrough impacted my life in a way I can’t even describe would be a MASSIVE understatement. I played it through some REEEEEEEALLY TOUGH TIMES and it was such a consistent constant for me I still go back to that save file and just. Walk around with my Pokémon. And reminisce. It was also just my first ever Pokémon game EVER (if you don’t count Pokémon GO BDBSBSHSH) so I hold it very near and dear to my heart <<<33

My starter was Turtwig and I called him Boba Fett and now Boba Fett the Torterra has stuck with me through every single game I’ve played- I’ve transferred him all the way up to Scarlet & Violet and I love him SO much he unironically means the world to me. Torterras my favourite Pokémon ever I have SO many plushies of it n stuff <<<<<333 if I can find a photo of Boba Fett the Torterra I’ll post it

I also R E A L L Y love gen 5. Like all the designs of the Pokémon are SO COOL and Unova is such a fun region to go through and the STORY?? THE S T O R Y ???????????? I really love how they were kinda aiming for an,,,, older audience with it????? Unova just goes so hard

But I think if I had to nail down my number one favourite Pokémon game EVER right alongside Platinum it would be Legends Arceus. LIKE?????? THE STORY???????????? THE ENVIORMENT????????????? THE MECHANICS??? THE ART STYLE??????? ALL THE LITTLE BACKGROUND NOISES????????? OFS SUCH A GOOD GAME I think right alongside like. Resident evil 4 it’s probably my favourite game of all time it’s so stunning I replay it ALL THE TIME

I’m also semi into shiny hunting!!!!!! I’ve only ever really done it on scarlet and Violet but my favourite shiny hunt I’ve ever done was for shiny Mabostiff aka my other favourite Pokémon alongside Torterra <33 ut was right after my dog had passed away and he looked EXACTLY like Mabostiff except he was golden so I went out of my way to shiny hunt one in his memory <<<<<<33

I also really love competitive Pokémon!!!!!!!!!!! Have I ever actually PLAYED competitively??? No but I can tell you everything there is to know about it!!!!!!!

Uhhhhhhhhhhh what else uhhh,,,,,,, Torterra and Mabostiff are obviously my favourite Pokémon but I have plenty of other faves too. Like Flabebe, Sylveon, Hisuian Decidueye cuz it looks like my irl pet chickens, Meganium, Wingull, Jirachi, Delphox uhhhhhhhhh there’s probably more but my brain is soupy soup BXBSBBSBSJS

But uhhhhhhhh I think that’s it!!!!!!!! Someday I would LOVE to make a long-running Nuzlocke comic based off of my first ever Nuzlocke with Boba Fett the Torterra, and as long as the 3ds doesn’t completely shut down next year I’m planning on doing a Nuzlocke of the OG Red & Blue Games And HOOOOOOOPEFULLY Making lil mini Comics to go along with it if all goes to plan!!!!!!!!!! :DDD

[truckfreaks]

so i replayed both chs of deltarune recently, and i can’t stop thinking about the end of ch1 where you walk around the town and talk to everyone, because talking to asriel’s old classmates reveals so much about his character in this universe that we just don’t know

and i couldn’t help thinking about how interesting it is that he’s the one that “got out” of their hometown, you know? he’s the one that “made it” or whatever, he went to school, he’s doing something with his life. when you talk to catty and bratty, they remember him as this cool, cute guy - the kind of dude everyone in a small town has a crush on. burgerpants remembers him as the kind of guy everyone wants to be friends with. his side of his and kris’ bedroom is littered with awards and trophies. it’s obvious that asriel was super popular during high school, good at everything, well liked... the kind of person that, when you live in a small town, you look at and say, “yeah, if any of us are gonna make something of themselves, it’s that guy.”

we know the events of undertale are separate from those of deltarune, but still sort of ... adjacently related, so any characterization of asgore and toriel “investing” more into asriel than into kris would require some kind of unknown, but adjacently related impetus. and we also know that certain “key aspects” of the original story are kinda reversed in DR compared to how they played out in UT, like catty and bratty absolutely hating each other and never being as tight as they were in UT. so what if chara’s “buttercup incident” was one such key event? what if, instead of kris eating the buttercups, it was asriel? this old theory points out that buttercups, when eaten, are poisonous to livestock. the implication is that, while they’re technically monsters, asgore gets very sick from eating them. and if you also look around a map of Hometown, there isn’t a yellow flower to be seen (with the exception of a single one in asgore’s bedroom implied to be from toriel’s bouquet). i think it’s possible asriel ingested the flowers as a child. i’m not yet up for speculating on *why* - whether it was a dare, or put in his food, or just typical “kids doing dumb shit for fun” situation - but i think toriel and asgore almost lost him. and as a result, especially in tori’s case, asriel was given every opportunity, every “win” - he was pushed *hard*. there’s no real indication for why tori and asgore got divorced in DR, since the defining moment in UT was that asgore declared war on humans after chara and asriel died. 

so what would the impetus be in DR? divorce rates are statistically higher for people dealing with an ill child, and it could be that tori and asgore - implied to be type A and type B in the DR universe, respectively - had wildly different reactions to asriel’s recovery and, subsequently, how he should be raised after the fact. they went through something traumatic, and it changed them, their relationship with their child, and their relationship with each other. it’s also implied that the family is pretty religious, too, in a way that mirrors catholicism - in which divorce is typically frowned upon. i think asriel grew up shouldering this pretty heavy pressure (and maybe even guilt?) to be the best he possibly could be, having been given a “second chance”, even though him living drove his parents apart (not that they wouldn’t have for some other reason, but a lot of children of divorce internalize in this way and become overachievers). he had his friends, he snuck around, he did normal teenager bullshit ... but at the end of the day he busted ass to excel in everything to “get out”, perhaps because he felt he had something to prove by being given a second chance at life. or, perhaps, to escape the unbearable pressure of being a big fish in a small pond.

[aaronthomasglesenkamp]

This Poem was Written and Intended for the Track : “Little Miss Sunshine”

By Artist: Bazzi

This Beat Feat. Remix/ This Poem Was Written by: Vÿbez Vom Blösh (otherwise known as Aaron Thomas G.)

Written on June 12, 2023 at 5:01 AM in the morning, post work at Tavernacle Social Club/ Bar in SLC, UT. And posted to Tumblr at 5:48 AM.

Current Truth/ Current Backstory to Correlate With Written Inspirations:

(Going through a personal struggle of pulling myself out of my own rock bottom.. but stay optimistic, and hopeful, also grateful for my chosen family (Vom Blösh) because without them I’d be in even worse condition and no where even close to where I am now or would need to be. And for that I love and thank them eternally, no matter how crazy I or/nor they may seem. Love is unconditional, and I say that gratefully. And even though we’re all crazy, I still love them because they see past flaw’s, as long as life is capable of being manageable and sustainable. It only took be to fall through the middle to get there to realize.)

Poem:

Maybe I’m the alpha type..

And if you are too, you already know

Doing things right by everyone else leaving yourself without a thing

Waiting for everyone else to have what they need to grow, and true alphas wait until everyone else get what they want while we only take what we need

Make sure the everybody else is good before we hone in on our own

“Humble,” can only be taught by the Infinite, in this case “Inifinte Dream,” neither you nor me

Me and Bazz get it, tell me: Can you or do you want understand the same things?

Im only waiting for someone to be by my side and love me for the good, bad, and the ugly

Not only the Universe in this crazy life that’s a beautiful thing

Someone who helps you grow, don’t judge, nor condemn you; only loves you unconditionally and moves forward with you not pushing back or creating resistance when it comes to your dreams.

Someone who loves you inside and out, and the intimacy of each other’s truth and acceptance is the only thing your relationship bleeds.

Someone who stays by your side

And not only for a go’t damn night…

Cause one night stands are exactly what they are..

And I may be young, but I’m so tired or replaying them over and over doing the same go’t damn incessant and non-progressive thang

Where’s that old classic shit?

The shit you read in stories and see on the silver screen?

The shit your grandparents have..

With our tits in our shoes after our 52nd Anniversary.. getting that early bird special and getting the complimentary dessert without you having to ask for it, to show you how much you fucking mean to me.

Is too much to ask for a person who wants to stay?

To figure it out, rather than run away?

To get to know you and your real truth?

Someone you want to do the same with too?

That’s the only little ray of sunshine I need in my every day.

Someone who reminds you of the only things that priceless, not all the minuscule shit that our egos have the potential to inflate.

Love.

And one that burns like fire and brightens up a dark world, in both the best or the worst of days.

One where I accept them for them, and they for me.

All I need are people, some- not all, to start being the exception- not the rule.

PLEASE.

(Image Reference: Image copy and pasted from google search “bazzi infinite dream.”)

[ladydeznutz]

When He Loved Me (Peter Parker x Reader)

A/N: My first fic and it's angst that came into my head around 3am. I've always wanted to write fics, but I didn't like how I wrote and I was embarrassed. First time writing for others so I tried to keep away from using just she/her pronouns, but if that's what you'd like just lemme know

I can write for other fandoms, and imma make a list of the fandoms I like bc I have so many I forget. I'll also add some other things if it interests me. Not comfortable with nsfw just yet so apologies. Anyways, enjoy the fic ig and please give me criticism if you see something wrong

idk how tumblr works with spacing and all that so hopefully this comes decent looking

Prompt: Please, don't leave me.

TW: S**cide mention

Every day had started to feel the same to you for a while now.

It started when he began missing date nights with you. He was always so excited about them, and then they were happening less and less often. You still saw him on occasion, but it felt more like "business" than anything else.

You didn't get the same giddy feeling you used to get when you'd see him; it felt like going out with him was more of a chore. You couldn't even complain to him about it even if you wanted to. Anytime you did see him long enough, he was always gone within a second, always in a rush. You never knew what he even did with himself or if he was thinking about you at all.

It definitely didn't help that you'd always catch him hanging out with his friends. You confronted Ned about it, but he was always so dismissive. Hell, you had even talked to Michelle about the whole thing. At first, she sympathized, but then it was as if a switch was flipped. You used to go to her to vent about Peter and the relationship. Now, she was practically telling you that you were overreacting.

----

You felt like you were going to have a mental breakdown.

Learning about a loved one's passing is always one of the hardest things for anyone to deal with, especially when it's someone you deeply care about.

You had just received the news that your best friend had killed himself a couple of hours ago.

You didn't know how to feel.

You couldn't wrap your head around it. There was no warning.

You and he had been friends since childhood, and you knew each other so well that neither one of you could even remember a time when the other wasn't around.

Your hands shook as you picked up the phone to call Peter. Your tears finally fell as you listened to the constant ringing of the phone, and you knew he wasn't going to answer. Rage grew within you as you heard his voicemail message causing you to throw your phone across the room. It crashed into the wall and broke, but you didn't pay any mind to it as you fell to the ground and let out a wailed sob.

Why did this have to happen?

You could barely catch your breath between sobs.

Your body shook.

You didn't care about anything anymore.

You didn't care about Peter anymore.

----

Weeks had passed, and Peter was exhausted.

Tracking down a gang, taking them down, and meeting another Spider-Man had just been a lot for him to take in. He was so tired, he didn't even want to think about it anymore. His back ached as he climbed through his window.

He was just so damned tired.

He stripped out of his suit, took off his web-shooters, and placed them back in his closet. Then, he took a quick shower.

His job was a bit easier to have Ned and MJ know he was Spider-Man. Now he just had to tell you.

Peter stood in the middle of the room and weighed out what would happen. He felt sorry for lying to you, and he knew that he was being distant. He just didn't have the courage to deal with any of it because he was worried about you. He couldn't lose you too.

As Peter lied down to finally get some rest, he wondered how you were doing. Karen had said you tried calling him, but he couldn't answer he had been in the middle of a stakeout.

He got up and rummaged through his book bag to get his phone, turning it on to scroll through his messages. He sat up as he realized how many he had gotten. Had something happened?

As he scrolled through, his heart broke. So many people had posted about the loss of Jay and were gossiping about why he did it. When he finally went through them all, he looked at your one missed call and gulped.

You had called him that day, and he didn't pick up.

He clicked the voice mail and listened to the message. All that he could hear were your pained sniffles, a shout, and then the line cut off.

He felt sick as he replayed the message.

Peter already felt awful about lying to you; he had to fix this. He quickly texted you, put his web-shooters back on, and was ut the window.

He knew the way to your house, so it took him no time to et there. As he was getting ready to knock on your window, he did a double-take and took a closer look.

Someone was sitting in your room; it looked like he had been waiting for you. Peter quirked an eyebrow as he looked at the guy. He was wearing a red and green jacket with shorts and sneakers. He also looked like he was wearing tights?

Suddenly, you walked into the room, so Peter backed away from the window to hide in the shadows. You seemed to be upset as you were wiping your eyes quite a bit.

"I'm sorry Miles. I didn't think I'd start crying like that," you said as you sat on your bed.

"Hey, it's okay," he replied as he stood up and moved closer to you. You sniffled as you tried to regain your composure. Peter didn't quite know how to react. Who was this? What was going on?

"I just...he..." you groan out in frustration as you grip your hair. Miles' eyes widen as he sees tears start flowing from your eyes again.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asks as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. You shrug as you shake your head.

"It's complicated, and besides, that's what our therapy's for" you chuckle dryly. Miles' eyes wander the room as he tries to think of something to do to cheer you up. "How 'bout we go out tonight?" he suggests.

"I don't like the tone of that voice" you sass as you turn to give him a look. Peter watches Miles turn around, and his eyes widen. Miles was wearing a suit, a Spider-Man suit. The same Spider-Man he saw the other week.

"Any place you wanna go to, we'll go" he adds with a cheeky smile. "Really? You're not busy?" You cross your arms as you stare him down.

"Nah, night's been quiet. Besides, I might be busy tomorrow, then you'd miss your favorite person in the world" he winks as you begin to smile. Peter's heart sank as he realized what was happening. He thwipped a web to the building across from yours and sat down on the edge of the roof. Pulling out his phone, he sent you a text.

Can we talk tomorrow?

Giggling could be heard from across the street. Peter looked up and bit his lip as you glanced at your phone and threw it on your bed. You got onto Miles' back, and you both swung away.

----

After you tried calling Peter that day, you stopped reaching out to him altogether. You decided that you'd wait to talk to him until he finally realized you weren't there. It had been about five weeks, and in those five weeks, you had gone to therapy and counseling.

You met Miles in counseling. He was sweet but seemed to get off topic a lot. When you were getting ready to leave one session, he had come up to you, put his hand on your shoulder, and let out a simple "Hey." One thing led to another, and you had both bonded over your losses. You went to Miles' uncle's funeral, and he went to Jay's funeral with you.

You were currently sitting on a swing at the playground as you waited for Peter. It was taking him forever to show, and at this point, you wanted to get this whole conversation over with.

Frowning, you looked around, wondering why he was taking so long. He should've been here by now. Maybe he decided not to come after all.

When that thought crossed your mind, you scoffed and stood up. Before you could go anywhere, however, you felt someone gently grab your hand. Looking back, you saw Peter staring at you with a small smile on his face.

"You came."

"Of course I did"

Peter pulls you towards him and wraps his arms around you. You take a deep breath as you stare off towards the slide. He pulls away when he realizes you're not hugging him back. The both of you pull away awkwardly as you look at each other.

"Peter-" "(Y/N)-" both of you speak at the same time.

"I- I have o tell you something" he starts with a stutter. You wait patiently as you motion for him to continue. "I know th-that I've been....not here for you for a while-" he cuts himself off when he hears you scoff.

"I.....I had these things, and I should've told you as soon as we started dating, and I'm sorry. I know I've been an asshole, more than that actually" you roll your eyes and shake your head as he continues.

"I just.....I love you, and I want you to know that even though I don't show it a lot" he finishes as he rubs the back of his head nervously.

The good thing about coming to this park was that there was usually no one here, and you were glad no one was here right now because boy were you fuming. "Told me about what Parker?" Your hand goes to your hip as you glare at him.

"W-Well....uhm......that guy that you talk to.......I'm like him I guess. Spider-Man." Your eyes widen when you hear the first part. "How the hell do you know I've been talking to someone?"

Peter stumbles with his words as he realizes he's been caught red-handed, "Uh...I was gonna visit yesterday, and I kinda....saw you..talking to him....." You narrow your eyes as you pick up a stick and throw it at him. He ducked before he could get hit, but you were already in his face.

"You were spying on me?!"

"I-I wasn't trying to! I was just-"

"Christ Peter!" All this time of you not being here, and now all of a sudden you just wanna show up out of nowhere because of what?! Jay?! Is that why you're finally talking to me?!" Panic stirs in Peter's eyes as he tries to come up with an excuse.

"I tried so hard to get you to talk to me, and you only wanna talk now because of that shit?! Peter, I can't do this shit with you anymore. I don't care if you're Spider-Man; what was the point of not telling me in the first place?! We live in New York for God's sake!!"

Your face is red as you frustratingly wipe away your tears with your forearm. Peter stays silent as he watches you; he can't say anything right now because you've hit the nail on the head.

"Y-You know what, fuck this. I can't do this shit any-anymore, Peter. But please tel-tell me; w-what did I do wrong? I di-did my best to keep both of us h-h-happy. Please, just tell me what I did wr-wrong." Your words are barely recognizable as you hold yourself to keep you're shaking body still.

Peter steps forward, but instead of stopping him like he thought you would, he cups your face gently as he looks into your eyes.

"(Y/N).....I'm so sorry I made you think this was all your fault. You did make me happy; you still do. I just...I've been so busy being Spider-man that I've neglected you, and I'm sorry for that. But I do still love you, (Y/N). I swear I'll stop doing everything just for you. I-I'll give up being Spider-Man."

You watch him unravel as he keeps talking. You can't bring yourself to care, however, as he spills his heart out. Too much disappointment has built up over the months.

"Pete...."

"Please......(Y/N), just give me another chance. I'll do anything, just please, don't leave me." His voice is soft and insecure as he begs you, almost quivering as he says it. It doesn't invoke any sort of feeling in you though. His sad eyes watch as you pull away from him,

"I'm sorry Peter" you whisper softly as you turn around and walk away.

He doesn't run after you or even shout.

Peter simply watches you walk away until you're out of view. The only thing he can hear is your footsteps as they fade into the distance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Alright so...this whole thing was based on how I could see him being Spider-Man in the beginning ig? Imo I feel like between him and Miles, the latter would be the first to tell you he's Spider-Man

And I always felt like him being away like that with no real reason would make an s/o feel like it's their fault or sumn. Like, I've always seen fics where he and the reader always make up about it, but I wanted to try the bad ending where even though he had good intentions, he's just not ready to handle being a hero, student, and partner.

[cacoetheswriting]

champagne problems, ch.11

Spencer is in love with you, but you’re engaged to someone else.

Chapter Eleven: I Know It’s Over: Things get a little more clearer as you deal with the pain Spencer caused. A/N: chapter is titled after this song if you want to listen while reading. Word Count: 1.4k Warnings: swearing, heartbreak, unrequited / unreciprocated love, jealousy, talk of breakup/s, mentions of alcohol consumption / intoxication, serious serious angst, this whole series is a real slow burn.

series masterlist

A/N: everyone go thank @ellesgreenaway​ for getting me out of my writing rut just in time to get this chapter done! and as always, i wanted to reiterate how fucking grateful i am that y'all are reading, and liking, this little story! it means the world to me! also, i didn't reread this so there may some mistakes ill fix later, sorry!!

-

People love weekends. They’re like a mini holiday. A break from the tedious and repetitive cycle that is Monday to Friday. Weekends are time spent away from the office, your profession and whatever that entails. They are time spent away from completing menial tasks. A break.

Saturdays and Sundays help regain all of the lost energy. When people get caught up in everyday life, weekends remind them to enjoy the simple things. They gives the opportunity to try new things, visit family and friends, or allow to simply spend some time alone. People love weekends.

Your weekend however, was an utter blur.

Aiding a killer hangover on Saturday, you opted to spend the day in bed. A plastic bucket within your reach and a bottle of water on the side table. You slept a lot. Partially to ease the headache, but mainly to ease the pain you were experiencing in your chest. The heartache.

The only thing you could remember from the night before was Spencer completely shattering your hopes and dreams, and the first six shots of tequila you took after at a nearby bar. You weren't entirely sure how you got home; the next morning Ethan clarified he picked you up after the bartender rang him using your phone. Not one of your proudest moments.

Your lack of motivation carried onto Sunday. The grief you were experiencing was not unfamiliar, after all Spencer’s broken up with you before. Although this time the agony that accompanied it felt a lot more intense. You couldn't move, or eat, or even shower. You were frozen. Stuck to the bed as if it was your only lifeline.

Thankfully Ethan was working both days. In your eyes, he was too preoccupied to notice something was wrong. Unbeknown to you however, he knew exactly the reason behind your melancholy.

The weekend soon ended, almost as soon as it began. Monday morning rolled around and with it the encouragement to get out of bed. Not like you wanted to. If you had it your way, you would never leave the comfort and safety of your duvet again. You knew however, you couldn't stay home without at least some of your colleagues questioning your absence, asking what was wrong. No. It was time to face reality.

Time to face Spencer.

The brunette doctor was sat at his desk. He arrived to work today earlier than usual, about four hours early to be exact. He made his usual cup of coffee and since then he hasn't moved an inch, just staring silently at his phone.

It wasn't something he done often, honestly he only carried the thing around for work purposes. But something happened that he couldn't quite get over.

On Saturday morning, Spencer woke up to a message left on his voicemail. A message from you.

At first it was hard to decipher what you were saying, or rather what you were mumbling. Between the drunken hiccups, slurred speech, and obnoxious background noise, Spencer initially thought it was a butt dial. It must have been, right? He was after breaking your heart for a second time, why would you leave him a voicemail?

However, hearing your melodic tone just saying his name, prompted Spencer to listen to the message again. It was then he really heard the distorted words coming out of your mouth.

“Spencerrrrrr, I uh I don't believe yo-ou. I know-w in uh my hearrrt-t you d-didn't mean it.” Hiccup. “P...p-please let’ssss forgetuh abo-ut it.” Hiccup. “I-I love youh-uh anddd I kno-ow you love meeee. I jussst kno-w.” Hiccup. “I-I me-an you uh couldn't-t even look me-e in the eye when you sss-said it.... please-e S-Spencer-”

The message cuts off and he’s left dumbfounded.

Blood drained from his face. The voicemail registered in his brain and he suddenly felt dizzy. Nauseous even. His hands began to tremble in his lap, and he swore if he wasn't sitting down he would have fainted.

By Monday, Spencer had listened to the voicemail a painstakingly two-hundred and eleven times. He had it memorised, and yet he kept playing it over and over again just to hear your voice.

As he sat at his desk, waiting for his colleagues to arrive, he wondered whether you remembered sending it. Truthfully, he hoped you didn't. It would be easier to move on that way - as if moving on from you was an option.

The glass door opened and he heard a faint sound of footsteps walk across the bullpen. Footsteps Spencer would honestly recognise anywhere. Taking in a deep breath, he glanced up from his phone and slightly turned his head, his gaze landing on you.

The air caught in Spencer’s throat, the voicemail instantly replaying in his head.

He wondered what you were thinking. Simply by looking at you he could tell you were in pain. Pain he caused, and he hated himself for it. Having spent countless hours over Saturday and Sunday rethinking the situation, he knew he made a mistake. He should have never given into Ethan’s smug demands. And even if, he should have told you what happened. Leave the choice up to you, as it was in the first place.

It was too late now to fix this, Spencer knew even if you remembered sending the voicemail you wouldn't listen to what he had to say anyway. Selfishly, he wanted you to look at him. He wanted to gaze into your eyes as the drunken message replayed in his mind yet again.

And although you could feel his eyes on you, you couldn't bring yourself to meet his stare. No. The heartache would only intensify. This was a mistake. You should have stayed home. With a blank expression, you placed your bag on your desk and hurried in the direction of the office kitchenette.

Spencer on the other hand followed you with his gaze. Every fibre of his being screamed to follow you, to talk to you. But he was completely frozen and remained glued to his own chair. Once again, a true display of cowardliness.

By lunch time, the whole team picked up on the odd dynamic between you and the handsome doctor. Two people that spent every waking moment together were no longer speaking to one another.  It didn't take a profiler to see something was wrong.

You hid in Penelope’s lair with the bubbly blonde and Tara. Enjoying a couple minutes of peace away from the prying eyes of everyone you worked with, most importantly however, away from Spencer.

“So chicken, are you going to tell us what’s wrong?” Garcia enquired, taking a mouthful of her lunch. “Because a blindman could see something is off, and don't you dare telling me I’m delusional or something.”

“Penelope is right, Y/N. Last time you were this silent and upset was when Spencer was in prison.”

You let out a deep sigh at the sound of his name. It was no use hiding your feelings from them, they would figure it out eventually. Plus these were the people you trusted more than anything in the world. If you couldn't tell them, then who could you tell what was going on?

“It’s something similar.” You mumbled, avoiding their gaze. “Just much much worse this time...”

“Well whatever it is, you can tell us. We’re here for you.” Penelope chimed, and reached out her hand to grab yours. She gave it a gentle squeeze and shot you a reassuring smile.

“Yes, exactly. We will support you through anything, you know that.” Tara added nodding along.

You sniffled. What were becoming all too familiar tears formed in the corners of your eyes, and you knew you would break down at any given second. Taking in a long breath, you began to tell the two girls everything that’s happened since your engagement. They listened attentively, never turning their attention away from you. As they listened, they both held your hands and took turns whispering ‘it’s okay’ or ‘take your time’.

“I’m going to kill our resident genius. He won't know what’s coming.” Penelope murmured after you finished in an attempt to lighten the mood. The corners of your lips twitched ever so slightly upwards as you wiped the tears away from your face.

“What are you going to do?” Tara asked after a congenial moment of silence.

“Ehm...” You cleared your throat. “S-Spencer wants nothing to do with me, but uhm... I after everything I c-can’t, I just can't be with Ethan. I can’t-t.”

The girls both nodded their heads, and even though they understood exactly what you meant by what you were saying, you still felt like you had to say the words aloud. For your own sake.

“So, uhm, I-I’m going to break up with Ethan. I-I’m going to end the engagement.” You stated, and even though your heart still ached, you felt as if a weight was lifted off of your shoulders. You felt free.

And I know it's over - still I cling I don't know where else I can go 

-

A/N: as always i’d love to hear your feedback! if you would like to be added to a taglist, please let me know. thank you for your continuous support. with love, mal. x

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story taglist: @girloncorneliastreet, @haylaansmi, @rexorangecouny, @l0ve-0f-my-life, @obsssedwithjustaboutanything, @aperrywilliams, @sassy-hades, @rainsong01, @reverdevivre, @dracomikaelson, @softieekayy, @lunaofcrows, @andrewhoezierbyrne​, @blameitonthenight21, @lyl-26, @do-yr-research, @nazifa94, @stepsofthefbi, @chatterbug2-0, @calm-and-doctor, @halseysunset

spencer reid taglist: @no-honey-no​, @calm-and-doctor​, @idroppedmygourd​​, @averyhotchner, @wowitsel, @elldell1204, @hey-there-angels, @reidabookforonce, @ellesgreenaway

[glassartpeasants]

I’m Sorry

Shigaraki x Reader

Warnings: Angst, like REALLY ANGST

A/N: I came up with this at work, i literally wrote down an entire plot to a story in about 30 minutes. I don’t know if i should feel proud or ashamed

~~~

You sat in your car sighing heavily as you put the seat down to look up at the stars, since you had opened your sunroof. Your arms going behind your head to create a make shift pillow as you waited for your boyfriends response.

Tomura Shigaraki, Leader of the League of villains was your boyfriend, and god did you love him. You loved him more then anything else in the world. But for some reason it felt like he was ignoring you. You look at the text your sent and just stared at it wondering if you said something wrong. You scanned over it again realizing he just hadn’t opened it yet.

You grab the necklace that was hanging around your neck and fiddle with it between your fingers. The metal reminding you of when he officially asked for you to be his.

The necklace was a symbol of devotion to one another. You always wore the necklace cause it made you feel butterflies every time you looked at it. Shigaraki always wore his too. It was so romantic,

Well it was romantic.

You had noticed recently that he stopped wearing it, or forgetting. You didn’t mind at first cause everyone’s forgetful sometimes but it did bother you when it became a regular thing. He’d always say he left it on his nightstand or took it off when he was going to bed. These were all rational explanations but he didn’t even bother to put it back on. It felt like you guys were drifting apart, which ripped a hole right through your heart.

Not to mention every time you went into the hideout, everyone gave you looks of pity. You don’t know why they did but you weren’t gonna question it. You refused to believe that Shigaraki would do anything to hurt you.

~~~

After your little session in the car you had gone grocery shopping for the League, something you would do often. They gave you a list of food they wanted and you got it for them.

You packed up all the groceries in your car and drove towards the building. You smiled all the way there. They didn’t know you were coming it was going to be a suprise! Oh won’t Shigaraki be happy!

You park outside the building and as you got out you see a lady coming out of the building you’ve never seen before. Normally you wouldn’t mind someone like that but...

She had Shigaraki’s hoodie on.

“Hey wait miss! Can i speak to you?” You said running up to her.

“Oh of course, what do you need?”

“Um i was wondering where you got the jacket from? I really like it.” You lie, you wanna know why this woman has your man’s jacket on, but you wanna hear what she has to say first before you go ape shit.

“Oh its my boyfriends! Isn’t it cool! That’s not the only thing he got me either, he gave me this necklace as well. He told me that as long as i have this on, it would show how much i love him. Isn’t that romantic!” Your heart shattered in your chest. You couldn’t believe it. No you wouldn’t, he said he only loved you. How long as this affair been going on? You needed more answers.

“That’s super awesome! How long have you guys been dating?” You smile holding back your tears and the burning urge to scream out of your chest.

“Almost 1 year!” She was so happy, could you tell her? Would she even believe you? She seemed even more happy then you been for the part 2 months, she seemed to be everything you weren’t.

Long hair, curvy, not an inch of skin imperfections, and lets not forget how much bigger her chest was compared to yours. She was everything a man could ever want. Hell she was there for most of your relationship, you guys have been dating for a year and 4 months.

“IM so happy for you! I have to go but i hope to see you later!” You lie through your teeth, you never wanted to see her again.

She drove off while you open the doors to the building looking down as tears streamed your face, your lungs burning with the need to scream and sob.

You open the door to the main room where Shigaraki sat with, Dabi, Spinner. Toga, and Twice. Your arms shaking as you could feel everyone staring at you.

“(Y/N) what brings you here?” Spinner asked before you pushed past him, you grabbed the necklace from off your neck, pulling it off letting bits and pieces of the chain to fall onto the floor. You throw the necklace at Shigaraki before slapping him across the face.

“How fucking dare you! Your such an inconsiderate piece of shit! You thought i wouldn’t find out?! Was she good huh?! Was she worth it?!” Your screams could e heard through the entire building, everyone’s eyes on you as you screamed at their leader. Shigaraki’s eyes were wide, you could see it behind father.

“I-”

“Don’t say a thing! I should have never agreed to be your girlfriend! Was it because she had a better body then me?! Did she satisfy your fucking needs?!” Your rage was outstanding as more tears streamed down your face, the pain of knowing your supposed love of your life was going around with other women. Shigaraki said nothing as he took the screams, his eyes soon looked uninterested and bored, which only fueled your fire.

“You know what fuck you, i wish i never met you. Enjoy that bitch cause im done!” You only cry more as you ran out of the room and out of the building, getting into your car and driving off.

Shigaraki didn’t move an inch as trying to keep his composure. But on the inside he was shaking. He was going to break it off he promised! He was going to the next time he saw her, why couldn’t you have come a little later? Why did you just show up damn you!

Your words cut like knives into Shigaraki’s skin, as the image of you crying kept replaying in his head.

“Nice job Handman.” Shigaraki turned his head towards the burnt male.

“IT’s not your place to talk so shut the hell up.”

“It’s not your place to talk either, must suck knowing the girl that would have taken a bullet for you left you. But can’t say i didn’t see this coming.” Shigaraki stayed silent. He didn’t want to say anything he just wanted to figure out a way to make you come back.

~~~

1 month later

Ice cream.

As stereotypical as that sounds, ice cream had become your best friend for the past few weeks. You just ate your heart away, not mentioning that you threw up everything you ate.

After your fight with Shigaraki you blocked him on everything. His number? Blocked. His gamer profile? Blocked. Everything was blocked.

You had even moved to another part of town, he knew where you lived so you just deiced to up and leave, your lease was over soon anyways. You thankfully found another apartment. It was small but it was perfect for you.

You’ve watched the news a few times looking for any sign of Shigaraki and his plans. But nothing occurred.

“Aw shit-” You ran to the bathroom as fast as you could about to throw up everything you ate that day.

~~~

“Well fuck.” You look down at the home pregnancy test. A positive home pregnancy test.

“What do i do now?” You sat down on the bathroom floor looking up at the ceiling. You liked kids so having on shouldn’t be a problem right? 

But the fact that it was your cheating ex’s is the problem...

“No! I will not think about that crusty rat anymore! I don’t need him to be happy i have everything i need right here!” You say to yourself as you get up off the bathroom floor.

“I will take care of this baby and I’ll be the best mother that their could possibly be!” You hype yourself up as smile to yourself. He may be Shigaraki’s child ut that doesn’t mean you can’t love your kid. You would love the kid to the ends of the earth, and no cheating ex will stop that.

~~~

Shigaraki laid down on his bed staring at the ceiling, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He couldn’t help it, he’d actually lost you.

He tried contacting in in every form possible, once he realize you blocked his number. Once he called from a payphone only to find out you changed your number as well.

He broke off ties with the other girl, hoping it would bring you back. Which it didn’t. 

Now he was alone again, the feeling of emptiness crept back up from the depths of his mind as his bed was cold. Your body no longer there to warm it. It ate him alive, the realization that he would never feel your fingertips brush through his hair again or the comforting words you said that put him to sleep.

His thoughts were his own worse enemy, he hated how much that fateful day replayed in his head. Over and over again until it corrupted his everyday life.

His bitterness was soon taking over. The madness that was Tomura Shigaraki slowly crept into his thoughts. Corrupting them, warping his mind making it seem like you were in the wrong not him.

He couldn’t bare to handle the insufferable guilt that he felt so he occupied himself with work. Running the LOV to escape the fractured pieces of his mind.

Within 3 months you were no longer plaguing his mind.

~~~

We skipping to when reader give birth

As you laid down in the hospital bed with your newborn child in your hand you couldn’t help but tear up. 

You were 100% sure that your little girl was going to look like her dad, hell she even had the same eyes and mole. 

But you couldn’t dwell on the fact she didn’t have a single feature of yours yet all you could think about was the amazing smile she gave you as soon as she saw you.

“Aren’t you just the sweetest little thing.” You cooed at the baby as she giggled at you. She reached her little chubby baby hands at you and grabbed your nose. You chuckled before giving her a kiss on the cheek as you sung her a little lullaby in your arms.

~~~

2 Years later

You watch the TV as the war keeps going on. Fighting and war is all people seem to do nowadays. You were afraid, your not even scared to admit it. After hearing about Shigaraki and learning that He’s now the leader of a huge army made you very scared for your daughter. HE may not know she exists but it still scares you.

You sigh at the Tv before getting up and putting on your jacket getting ready to pick up your daughter from your parents house.

You step out of your door and lock it before going down to your car. Putting your purse in the passenger seat as you buckled up and started the car before pulling out on the road.

Little did you know someone was watching...

~~~

“Pwease! pwetty pwease!” Your daughter whined trying to convince you to let her play on the swings near your parents house. You looked at your daughter as she gave you the puppy eyes.

“Fine, your lucky i love you so much.” You daughter squealed as she ran to the swing and waited for your help.

You laugh as you put your daughter in the baby swing and push her a little bit. Her baby blue hair moving along with the motions. You were right when she got her appearance from Shigaraki but she had your facial features.

‘At least she got something from me’ You chuckled to yourself before you hear your daughters giggles grow quiet.

“Sweetie what’s wrong?” Concern wired in your voice. She kept on looking on the other side of the street, so you look too.

Once your eyes were scanning for a bit they blew wide open as a patch of similar blue hair caught your vision.

No it couldn’t be....you moved how did Shigaraki... how did he find you?

You pick up your daughter before quickly walking towards your car. You car was in eye sight before a gruff voice stopped you in your tracks.

“Is she mine....”You back stiffened as you felt his eyes burning into you. There was no escaping him at this moment.

“Mommy who’s that?” Your daughter asked, her little body trembling as she looked at the hooded man in fear.

“Shigaraki, take your hood off your scaring her.” Your voice stern, laced with poison as all the emotions waved over you once more.

“You know i can’t do that. Answer my question, is she mine.” His voice laced in the same poison you once spoke in.

“No shit sherlock.” You look at him as you hear him let out a huff of air.

“Can...can i see her...” His voice was weak as you saw his hand twitch. HE refused to look at you the entire time.

“You think I’d let you see her?! Shigaraki look at yourself! Your an S-Class villain! If people saw you with her they’d go after her! Im not letting you see her.”

“I know im a villain but she’s my kid too damnit!”

“You didn’t even know she existed! Why now huh?! Why after almost 3 years do you decide to show up now huh?!” Your voice shooting daggers into Shigaraki’s heart once more.

He happened to stumble by you guys on accident, he was walking home from getting a new game when he heard your voice. It may have been years but he could always remember your lullaby you use to sing him to sleep. He walked over to your location and dropped the game on to the cold concrete as he saw you holding a little girl in your arms.

His crimson eyes widen as he stared at the exact copy of himself. There was no way, how could you not have told him?

“Let me guess you accidentally saw us and now you want to be with me again?!” You screamed at him but immediately stopped when you heard sniffling coming from the little girl in your arms.

“Hey, Hey its okay Sayori, mommy’s just a little angry that’s all, im sorry for screaming.” You say as your run your fingers through her hair.

“Please...just...can i not even look at her.....” You could hear it, the pain in his voice. The tiniest part inside you begging you to give him another chance but the realization of having to protect your daughter over through your love for him.

“No. Shouldn’t have cheated. Not going to let my baby be in harms way because her father can’t seem to keep his dick in his pants.” You turn around and walk away leaving Shigaraki at the playground as you drove off.

Shigaraki felt his soul leave his body as his knees gave out. He started to sob uncontrollably. The once dormant flashbacks of your heartbroken face now replayed in his mind once again. 

Hiccuping as his sobs became much more inaudible. He felt like shit, the thought of his turning up like his father blew his mind as it only added to the pain. Images of what could have been a happy family replay in his head as he could just imagine a world where he has you by his side and his daughter in his arms.

[something-very-special]

they ran over the seals

More Replicant playthrough observations and general nonsense under the cut. For reference, up to the keystone quest; completed the Forest of Myth and Junk Heap.

This fucking game I swear to god.

A vaguely coherent ramble about sidequests An observation about sidequests in general in this game -- and I don't recall if I ever voiced this somewhere public or it was just a personal observation from my time with the original -- is that the quests in the first half of the game are all relatively easy to complete. There's that one asshat who wants 10 goat hides, but other than him, most of the sidequests are either very much based on finding characters, or gathering a sensible number of items that are either relatively common, purchasable, or given a guaranteed spawn for the duration of that quest.

The sidequests everybody remembers having to do are in the second half, where everybody is demanding and awful and I'm sorry ten MACHINE OILS do you know how goddamn rare those are? They're goddamn rare.

(We'll not discuss Life in the Sands.)

This is generally agreed to, in the technical vernacular, 'suck'. And it's always funny that the most interesting sidequests are the ones with very minimal requirements (Yonah's cooking, getting Popola drunk, the Lighthouse Ladoh my god everything's gone blurry I'm not crying you're crying who am I kidding we're both crying). That particular aspect of the design also feels intentional, not really gating your ability to progress the really meaningful or funny sidequests behind an unreasonable number of rare items. The other aspect of the design is that these quests are not meant to be completed in a single playthrough; most of them are single-stage and just absolutely unreasonable, but if you're going through the game four times you have a... reasonable chance of getting everything you need more or less naturally.

Nobody does that but I think that was the intended design. I think it's a good idea, although the execution of expectation is flawed so I don't really blame people for saying those sidequests suck. (Although I will in turn blame people for saying the sidequests suck as a blanket statement. Yeah getting that guy who burned his kitchen down a billion Broken Motors is aggravating but did you not find that old man's dog? Speak to Ursula on her death bed? Solve a murder? Then again I think tracking down that rotten son who's trying to get away from The Family Business only to learn his father is a con-artist and get literally no reward is the height of comedy so maybe I'm not the greatest point of reference.)

But that asshole in Facade can get bent. I can't exploit my garden properly, jackass! I am no longer a god of time. (I kid, of course.) (This guys sucks even when you can fix your clock.)

Forest of Myth It didn't even occur to me to wonder how they would incorporate the comprehensive voice acting into the Forest of Myth. I like how it plays out, although I wish the voices maybe had a fade as you went deeper into the dream instead of just cutting out at some point, especially for the lines where the characters are being ascribed actions by the narrator that they themselves aren't doing near the start of the Deathdream. But it's just delightful to go back to it. The second half of the game really sticks in your mind both for emotional reasons and because you play it at least three times per full playthrough of the game, but the first half is just so much fun.

Protip: Talk to everybody after you've finished the dream sidequest. Weiss tries to dissuade you. Don't let him dissuade you. I'm still delighted by the Mayor; "We're building a statue of you, made of solid gold. I know you don't own a horse, but we're going to put you on a horse."

I forgot about Yonah being a disaster chef Papa Nier's reaction to the stew is better. Brother is still funny but Papa Nier just expecting to die is comedy gold.

For anybody curious, the joke about the cakes is that Yonah made 'fruit cake' using some of the worst possible fruits for cake-making. If only she'd thrown a tomato into the mix, too.

Lighthouse Lady Every time. what the fuck is a canal I'm aware of the addition of the new-old content but it didn't occur to me until Popola suddenly starts nattering on about fixing the canal when I'm expecting Yonah to talk about a penpal that oh, yeah, I guess Seafront would have had something going on the first half that would play into the second half? (I assume it does. Be weird to introduce these characters just to have groundwork for an added sidequest. ...but it was a cute sidequest.) But look Popola my boy is supposed to be in the next area I visit could we-- I mean he's on the way could we just-- no-- fiiiiiiiiiine. (It was short and sweet, though, and I appreciate that the couple's love is exemplified by them both calling Weiss a floating magazine in tandem.) On a related note but was I the only person suddenly concerned when the sidequest completion maxed out at 50% and not 51%? I had to double-check with a guide just to make sure, since I've spent the last decade telling people to make sure you hit 51% before going on to Part II.

MY BOY I love that nowadays, Emil is everybody's son. But I really wish I could go find somebody only familiar with Automata and just watch their reaction. (I'm guessing there are streams out there that fulfill this but man I'd love to get it in-person.) If you're only familiar with him from Automata this has to be a mindfuck.

Personal anecdote, but I've had the privilege of playing NIER with somebody else almost every time I've gone through it. I had a wonderful experience of doing a replay some years back with somebody who had experienced it with me before but didn't have the most solid memory of the beginning (and had actually missed the entire weapon's lab the first time through). I get to the boy at the piano introducing himself and the 'Wait, what?' was a thing of beauty.

MY ANDROID This was a welcome mindfuck for me; finding Sebastian and having him 'reactivate' in such an unnatural, mechanical way. I don't recall if it was ever officially confirmed that Sebastian is an android (I know that it's just understood that this is the case but I'm not I can't recall a specific one) but the little flair they added to his animation caught me completely off guard. I liked it!

Destroying the food source A lot of people will cite a major inciting incident for the game as being when the protagonist heading back into the village and killing the child Shades just outside the entrance. This moment is such a great bit of subtle foreshadowing that's so easy to miss... but kind of joining that, just before the Knave of Hearts attacks, I realized that the Shades out on the Northern Plains are clearly ramping up for an assault of their own by murdering the sheep. The sheep population at this point is decimated (which is great when you realize you haven't gotten the Sheepslayer trophy and you're about to enter Part II and you don't know if the boar drifting minigame got carried forward with the inclusion of 15 Nightmares). You go out onto the Plains and you will find not only small clusters of sheep left behind instead of the vast, terrifying herds from the start of the game, but until you get their attention the Shades are prioritizing killing the sheep. (Also annoying because that doesn't count toward my sheep murder number.) The Shades will be out there also killing sheep earlier on, but since the whole map is in Overcast mode after talking to Yonah it's especially prevalent to go out to the Northern Plains and seeing the slaughter. And I realized-- they're cutting the Village off from a primary food source. Shades don't eat and they don't have any beef with the local ungulates (at least, no more so than anybody else does), so why are they hunting down the sheep? To deprive their enemies of resources. Sheep are extinct by the timeskip. It's actually really clever of them, and a really clever indication of their sentience and intelligence before it's fully verified.

"Let's get these shit-hogs!" Everything about the way Kaine and Emil interact across the entire game is perfect I will brook no argument this is objective fact.

Emotive Rectangles I wrote an essay about this before but it really bears repeating that the job the original animators did with this scene is just phenomenal. The way Weiss drifts, flits, flips, fans his pages, drunkenly swerves, shoots around the room in defiance... He's a goddamn rectangle, but there is so much emotion and personality in this scene just based on the movements conveyed through a what is effectively just a box. Ten years later and triple-A titles with full facial capture don't have this much seething personality. I really have to give props to the cavia animators, wherever they wound up. That studio could really put some subtle love and care into their titles, utterly unnecessary and easy to miss but you can tell that whoever was working on it was giving it their all. The books are probably the exemplification of this, but every time I go into Seafront and visit the seals I can tell that the guy on seal duty was having just the best day. They made Emil so pretty There's an FMV cutscene right smack in the middle of the original game after the battle against Noir. I understand why it was a necessity on a technical level, but it always looked pretty out of place and a little uncanny valley compared to the rest of the graphical fidelity. That's no longer a necessity so this cutscene is rendered in-engine. I admit I was actually curious to see it redone this way and it looks fantastic. I single out Emil since he is the focal point of cutscene and because his particular high-poly model had some pretty weird difference from his in-engine model, but he and Kaine both look great. But, like, it's almost mean how pretty he is.

They made Brother Nier so pretty Yeah okay you got me he's kind of hot. Kaine's expression when she wakes up and looks him over is... significantly easier to read now. Good voice, too. (Ancient rumors tell that one of the issues with international releases of RepliCant was that they couldn't find an English VA with a voice that 'fit' Brother Nier. He sounded good out the gate but hearing him growl "Let's go TAKE CARE of those KIDS" during the thief sidequest-- I got chills. It sounds so silly but there's a kind of percolating fury to that delivery. Papa Nier was like frustrated but mostly disappointed dad; I felt like Brother was going to take care of those kids, and nobody was going to find the bodies. Younger Brother Nier just never stops looking goofy to me but Older Brother just looks great in motion, between the alterations they made to the movement and just the entire weaponry system. The distinction between the two halves of the game was always a little odd in the Gestalt version-- not odd enough to really raise eyebrows if you didn't know about RepliCant, but of course you can tell that this age gape between the optimistic doe-eyed dogooder and a man largely ruled by his fury and calloused by tragedy is what the timeskip was going for. Swab me down and call me Ishmael, it works. Younger Brother wasn't quite clicking with me-- not because of any writing or voicework issues, but I've got Papa Nier on the back of my mind and it's impossible not to compare and contrast the delivery and dialogue between the two. I know that this is intentional, too; Younger Brother is supposed to be that happy-go-lucky video game protagonist, always doing the right thing and helping people, in order to contrast against the man he becomes. Even just edging into Part II the effect is dramatic and it recontextualizes Younger Brother into a much more effective overall character. And let me reiterate, I enjoyed my time with Younger Brother just fine, I have no issues with him. But he's up against Well Meaning Big Dummy Part I Papa Nier. No contest. And I'm excited to see where Older Brother goes from here.

Speaking of voices I mentioned this before but the delivery on the character's lines is different. The entire game was re-recorded and quite a few lines are still pretty similar to the original, but there are some that are... definitely different. Part of this is a difference in the relationship between characters based on their life experience and ages-- Weiss is much more of an ass to Younger Brother but has a much more even respect for Older Brother (neither of which are like the rapport he established with Father). Some of Kaine's lines feel more aloof, dismissive, and almost tired in the front half of the game. I haven't really gotten to a point to dig into Emil's rapport with the other characters, but the delivery feels more hesitant and uncertain (which I think is more in line with his Japanese VO, but I'm prefacing that on an untrained ear and a presumption rather than recent memory). It's been interesting to see not just where hey adjusted dialogue (and how-- there are some lines that didn't need to be rewritten), but also how they adjust tone and delivery. Dealing with Younger Brother is one thing, but as I said, I'm very excited to see what's different in the second half, especially being much more familiar with that part of the game. Speaking of Voices! Halua got dialogue! I... preferred when it was inferred (and the implications of "I'll always be watching over you" are borderline malicious given the results of their fusion dance, yeah THANK YOU HALUA this is GREAT). Halua's delivery also felt a little too innocent and upbeat both for the situation and when compared to her narrative voice in The Stone Flower, where she comes across as much more cynical and cold. But given what she's been through and the nightmare she's finally escaping I guess she's allowed express happiness. She's certainly earned the right to having a spoken line. No matter what. Every fuckin' time.

"Here we go." This was always a great line to kind of ease in to the officially-official start of Part II-- every time you start up a New Game+ you're greeted with Emil musing about his conflation of Halua to Kaine, and then the phrase "Here we go". There's a lot in that one line. On a personal level he's grounding his thoughts in the moment and steeling himself for what comes next and pushing through his pain and sadness and fear. Whatever Nier told him in the facility he's still terrified, desperately terrified, that Kaine -- who was the one who told him his life had meaning -- is going to reject him. And why wouldn't she? Ultimately they don't know each other, not really. He understands at that moment that his relationship with Kaine is based on confused memories of his sister, that maybe the bond he thought they established isn't actually real. As soon as he frees Kaine he's going to have to confront her, like this, and how could she ever-- she won't-- but he can't just leave her. Whatever happens next. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. (God it matters.) "Here we go." On a meta level, that's our introduction into the second half of the game. The first half is all prologue. This is where we'll be spending the rest of our time, even to the point that 'New Game+' skips straight ahead to this moment. Now that we've finished the establishment, this is where it all builds and where it all matters. Here we go, audience. The ride starts now. You get up to this point now in Replicant. You get the same lead-in. My dumb ass even whispered "Here we go", because I can't help myself. And he says, of course he says--! "Anyway." ... ...a-anyway? What the hell kind of line is that? "Here's some deeply personal musings that are also an indication of my own discomfort as I babble to myself just to fill the void so I can stave off thinking for just a few more seconds. ANYWAY." What a... bizarre decision. Just bizarre.

Upgraded melee combat The introduction to the armored Shades always feel kind of rough-- the defenses on those Shades are significantly higher than anything you've faced and the new weapons you're given to combat them just aren't that good. (If you got lucky you could have a fully-upgraded Faith by now, which is nearly three times as powerful as the 'heavy' two-handed sword you're given; if you downloaded the 4 YoRHa pack for Replicant you've probably been able to upgrade one of those weapons once, which are also a really nice strength boost that leaves the freebie heavy swords and spears in the dust). As an introduction to the new weapon types it always feels like rough going. But then you get a chance to get decent weapons and the combat system truly opens up, and compared to the first game you really feel it. At this juncture I would always just bustle off to Facade and grab the Phoenix Spear and never look back-- the raw power compared to the rest of your arsenal coupled with the triangle dash is basically the bread and butter of the rest of the game. It's not exciting, but it's effective. No more triangle dashing, which was deeply disappointing... but both weapons definitely feel good. I am also somewhat ashamed to admit that it wasn't until now that I realized attacks weren't just about rhythmic input-- you can hold the attacks down to do different charged hits and combos depending on when you execute them in your combo, similar to Automata. I, uh... I felt a bit dumb. But hey, wow, it's a welcome adjustment and it makes all of the weapon types feel equally valuable for different purposes. I never liked using the heavy blades in the original release because they just felt too slow for the damage output they did, even if their 'point' was mostly to sheer off armor (and they definitely felt too slow for use in crowd control). Now they're still heavy and slower, but not to the point that you're basically leaving yourself open just trying to attack. Spears now do crazy sweeping combos and multi-hits. Both of these properties were borrowed from Automata and I find myself prioritizing melee combat and almost forgetting I have magic because honestly it just feels intuitive and fun. I feel like Kaine and Emil might have gotten a power boost as well? Not that I can really confirm this but going into some of the Junk Heap rooms I'd focus on killing a few robots in the corner and then turn around and just see a field of item drops and no more robots. Don't take my word on that, of course, but they felt a little more effective, and a placebo effect is still an effect. "You're staging a protest? That's fun!" Emil. Rebel without a cause. Will not hesitate to kill you if you trespass on his property. (Might explain the statues in the courtyard, actually.) I'll have to double-check this dialogue because I definitely remember more of a melancholia before we get to roasting marshmallows. I think Papa Nier actually offers to talk to/implicitly threaten the villagers to let them in the Village whereas Brother offers to sleep outside with them... which is actually kind of funny. In the former it comes off as Emil and Kaine maybe kinda-sorta not wanting to be allowed in the Village for their own reasons (they're not happy reasons but they're reasons nonetheless) and reassuring Father that no, it's okay, it's fun! The latter is almost telling Brother to stay inside because he'll ruin their sleepover.

(They're absolutely having giggly girl talk about him outside the gates, 100%.) they ran over the seals All I want in Seafront is to enjoy the music and run out to the big beach and hang out with the last living seals and they put a fucking pirate ship on top of them. Oh, wow. Gideon. Wow. OG Nier featured a Gideon that tried to keep himself together and then had fits of mania. You'd be concerned about him during some of the dialogue but generally speaking he came across as... functional. The delivery on all of his lines is now so insanely murder bonkers, like every line he's addressing you like you're already chained to the wall of his serial killer dungeon and it's glorious. I don't know if the distinction between the games is deliberate (in that Gideon in Gestalt was just more even-keeled between his 'rip 'em apart' snarlings and was always just totally nutso in RepliCant) but I do appreciate it. It's a good mirror to Brother Nier's own anger, which only ever seems to be mollified when he's talking to his friends (even kindly accepting sidequests there's a pretty consistent -- not universal, but consistent -- air of barely-bridled frustration). The other characters that Brother encounters are various reflections of himself if things had just been a little different-- Gideon was a representation of the kind of obsessive madness that would have eaten Brother alive if he hadn't had his network of support. Gideon's constant fury and bloodlust even bleeds into him just saying "What can I do for you?" He has no anchor to keep himself sane, nobody to stay human for; he's all mania, all anger, and he only takes any real interest in Brother on his return because he sees an opportunity to act out his vengeance. After defeating Beepy and Kalil he even goes so far as to not only blame Beepy for killing Jakob, but for also killing their mother, which is patently insane but really speaks to how far his justifications and fury have taken him. Papa Nier responds to his anger toward Beepy by basically backing away slowly and saying "Oookay then". Brother, however, actually commiserates; "That's enough. [...] We get it. We really do." This is definitely one of those moments where Brother's context works better than Father's; he absolutely sees himself in Gideon. He completely understands him and sympathizes. He recognizes the madness of his own quest, he sees where it could take him, and there's a resignation when he speaks to Weiss: "Revenge is a fool's errand." "...yeah." Papa Nier has a similar delivery and similarly implies that he understands how terrible his quest is, but there's something decidedly haunting in Brother's sympathy. Also just verifying something on the wiki and this bit of 'Trivia' really jumped at me:

Gideon is the only character to only cause the deaths of other characters. In his case, he caused a platform to crush Jakob and ordered the deaths of P-33 and Kalil, with P-33 surviving.

Metal AF.

[yusiyomogi]

so, i've been thinking a lot about parallels between deltarune and majora's mask. i don't think it was intended, of course, but it's fun to think about and they actually have a lot in common, so that may or may not be relevant in the future.

(a lot of bs ahead)

both games had to live up to their extremely-succesfull-instant-classic predecessors (oot and ut respectively).

neither mm nor dr continues original story, but is still connected to it in a lot of ways.

both have some sort of alternative universe thing going on. they both make use of previous games' characters and assets, but put them in the different worlds and stories (though mm is definitely closer to simply re-using assets, it still keeps a lot of original characterisation).

while some people don't agree with it, i think both mm and deltarune have darker themes than their predecessors. while oot and ut have some dark elements in them, ut especially, i think mm and deltarune explore more mature themes in general.

main characters are fighting againts some sort of chaotic corruption of the world, created by mysterious elusive figure (not even neccesary evil one).

mm is centered around themes like doom, hopeless future and predetermined fate - as something we have to both accept and fight against on our quest. even if it's not as obvious right now, we already have enough hints that deltarune story will also have these themes, considering how often we're reminded about destiny, apocalyptic prophecies and "set paths".

kozachok dance.

and i have a completely wild idea. it has been said many times that even though deltarune will have only one ending, it's important how we treat people in this game ("in the end [it] makes all the difference").

pretty much the main goal in majora's mask is to help other people and find a way to make them happier, even though there is always inevitable death looming over everyone. you don't have enough time to help everyone in three days and the game wont end if you fail to find the way through this convoluted puzzle to summon the giants, so they can stop the moon from crushing into termina... if you fail, you have to continue to play and repeat the cycle again or let everyone die and just delete this game or something.

so, i wonder, could that be what toby meant by "only one ending"? what if deltarune just wont end if you fail to do the right thing (help people?) - and your character will be forced to die or "go back in time" - basically, by reloading your save/chapter from earlier. i saw some theories about this, that kris is actually stuck in some sort of time-loop they can't get out of without player's help.

ralsei tried to warn us about something in chapter one, when he said that if we choose to fight enemies we may find the result unfavorable. i mean, of course the journey itself is important, but ralsei specifically said "result" (as opposed to "happy ending"). but if the game's supposed to have only one ending no matter what... maybe he tried to warn us that we simply wont get the ending as a result and will have to replay the game. which can be a nightmare, lol. but that could be the reason why we can continue the story from any chapter and have multiple save slots.

and if we'd try to explore this idea further and believe that kris is actually stuck in a time-loop, it could lead to pretty interesting conclusions. it'd explain how they become friends with susie so fast. it'd explain why we have all these weird dialogue options when we're talking to sans or undyne - it could be that kris/red soul/narrator knows about the future: for example, in chapter 1 you can ask undyne about alphys and she's confused, but then they actualy meet in chapter 2, the very next day. it'd be just another misleading "connection" to undertale toby put in chapter one.

all of this probably doesn't make a lot of sense and it's not the most original idea, but i think it's one of those wild theories that's fun to explore before we know a little more (and then it'll be completely useless).

[animeniacss]

A Palette of Emotions - Artist!Taehyung x Teacher!Reader - Chapter 30 - His Last Day and Her Last Chance

Synopsis: Taehyung dreams of being a professional and famous artist one day, but finds that the sea of creativity can be lurking with blood hungry sharks, as well as bland, motionless starfish. Swimming through the sea of opportunities somehow washed him up onto the shore of Bright Star Preschool, as an art teacher. This wasn’t where he expected to be 4 years into his career, but anything to get his big break though, right?

Feat. BTS, TXT, ITZY, Jisoo (BlackPink), Taeyong (NCT)

Genre: Romance, Slow Burn, Love Triangle, Drama, School Setting, Working!AU

Length: approx. 7.4k words

Chapter 30 - His Last Day and Her Last Chance

“Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Kim. We will see you in the fall.”

“Thank you, Mr. Oh, I appreciate all the help you’ve given me.”

“Of course. I hope you’re ready for this new chapter in your life.”

“I am, Sir.”

Taehyung kept replaying that conversation over and over as he stood in Seokjin’s office. He watched as the man typed away on his computer, silent for a while. Taehyung glanced down at him, hands at his sides as he waited quietly for his boss to say anything. Seokjin glanced up, sighing as he crossed his arms. His lips tugged together in a slight, thin line. Taehyung shifted in his seat, and before he knew it, the older man’s eyes were pointed directly at him.

“So, what you’re telling me is I have to start looking around for a rehire?” He asked. A groan escaped his lips. “You brat. Why did you have to be even more talented than I thought you were when I hired you? I was shooting for having you around at least another 3 or 4 years.” Taehyung laughed a bit.

“Sorry, Mr. Kim. But I won’t be able to handle the travel that I’d have to do to keep both and-.” Seokjin was quick to raise a hand and stop Taehyung before he began rambling senselessly.

“I’m only kidding. You’ve been given quite an opportunity, what kind of boss would I be if I penalized you for taking it?”

“…A bad one?” Taehyung grinned, and both men laughed. “I’ll finish cleaning out my stuff at the end of the day, but I’ll leave up all of the posters and charts and stuff, in case any future art teacher decides they need it.” With a bow of his head, Taehyung turned on his head and exited the room. As he closed the door, a sound of children giggling and cheering entered the hallway. Taehyung turned to see the children making their way inside, with you leading them. A smile was on your face as you walked backward, an art you had mastered long agotoo watch the students easily. As you approached Seokjin’s office, you spun back around when one of the kids shouted: “Mr. Kim is back!”

Immediately, the kids began poking their heads out of line in hopes to see the man. Taehyung smiled, waving to the sea of children as they eagerly began to cheer and greet him.

“You were missed.” You said simply, a small smile forming on your face. “Welcome back, Mr. Kim.”

“Happy to be back.” He said sweetly, his eyes casting right towards you as you smooth ut your skirt. “I missed you…” A moment of silence fell over the hallway, and Taehyung watched your ears tint a bit red, eyes darting towards the wall, the ceiling, basically anywhere that Taehyung was not. “…Guys. You guys…” Taehyung gasped, his ears not far behind as they too felt extremely hot. “I missed you guys.” Quickly, you turned to Hoseok, who was standing behind the line with his arms crossed, watching with what you could only tell was a forced smile.

“Mr. Hobi, can you take the kids inside? I need to ask Mr. Kim a question.”

“Right.” Hoseok quickly hurried towards the front of the line, motioning the children to hurry along. Though they protested, wanting to stay and see Mr. Kim for a few moments longer, one stern look from Hoseok and the students were silent, walking into the classroom without another word from them. With them gone, you quickly turned to Taehyung, who was rubbing his neck shyly.

“…Are you going to tell them when your last day is, or should I?”

“I’ll tell them today.” He spoke. “But I might need you in there to make sure I explain it right…and to take care of any crying kids.” A laugh escaped your lips, and you nodded in agreement. “…I really did miss you.” He said softly. You glanced up at him. “It’ll be a sad day when I have to leave.”

“I know.” You spoke. “…When is that again?” Taehyung chuckled a bit. “Just checking.”

“The middle of next week. My aunt lives within driving distance, so she’s going to help me find an apartment before classes start. That way I’m there and I can settle into the area, maybe find a job, all that fun stuff.”

“Ah.”

“Why?” Suddenly, you squinted your eyes just a bit, looking the confused Taehyung up and down. You pursed your lips together, and it only made Taehyung laugh a bit more. “What?”

“Don’t worry about it…” you said slyly. Taehyung couldn’t help but continue to laugh.

“You look ridiculous.” He said, watching as you headed down the hallway. “What? No response? Is it because I’m right?” Quickly, before entering the room, you turned back to Taehyung and smiled sweetly.

“Just don’t worry about it.” You repeated. Without any further explanation, you slipped behind the door and into your classroom.

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You knew from the moment you woke up that morning that it would be a long day. However, it felt even longer once Taehyung told the students his plans to leave, and his inability to be there for the rest of their time in preschool. Of course, kids began asking frantic questions, some began tearing up at the thought, others just full-out started crying. The three of you did virtually no art during that period, but you didn’t expect to, talking to and calming down handfuls of sobbing children. Before all of you knew it, time for art was done, and you had barely gotten the kids to draw on paper. There ended up being more tears on the papers than color.

As you were lining the students up, wiping the final set of eyes, and soothing the final child, Taehyung was watching by his desk. He looked down at Yuna, who was sniffling.

“Guys, I’m not leaving today.” He repeated once again. “I have so many fun activities for us the next few days.”

“You can’t leave, Mr. Kim. We can’t art if you leave!” Yuna sniffled, only to be met by Hoseok, who handed her a tissue to wipe her red and puffy face. Taehyung smiled, patting the girl’s head. When he looked up, he saw you knelt, talking with Lia, who was clutching a paper in her hand. She was one of the few who hadn’t been crying, though Taehyung could tell how badly she wanted to. After a moment, Lia turned toward Taehyung, her little feet carrying her down the line. Taehyung knelt for the girl, who handed him the picture. When he took it, he saw him and Lia in a scribbled field, the sky a mix of blue and white patches, and Taehyung wearing all gray.

“I made it,” Lia said. Taehyung smiled at her as she pointed to her name, and showed him what she wrote for him.

“Thank you, Lia.” He said gently. The small girl grinned a bit, before being escorted out by Hoseok, holding his hand tightly. Taehyung looked down at the picture once again, smiling a bit as he stood up, slipping it into his bag to bring home with him. “My first souvenir from here, hm?” he hummed to himself.

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The remainder of Taehyung’s time at the preschool was a bit awkward, specifically between the two of you. Each time you passed one another or saw one another, you knew exactly what you wanted to tell him, and he knew exactly what he wanted to ask you. However, every time, you chickened out, figuring that the next day would pose yet another opportunity for you to tell him all of the words that were burning in your chest each day. However, the vicious cycle never ended, and before you knew it, you were hanging streamers and balloons up in the classroom. The kids had made cards, parents brought in treats and gifts, all for Taehyung. It was his last day, spending the remainder of the week packing up to get to the train in a few days. As you finished up the decorations, you looked around, sighing to yourself.

“You think it’s too much?” you asked, rubbing your hands together as you looked at the final product.

“Of course, it is,” Hoseok replied. “But that’s what makes it so fun, don’t you think?” Checking the time, Hoseok turned back to you. “Let’s head outside and wait for the kids.” Nodding your head, you quickly followed Hoseok out the door. As you entered the hallway, you quickly looked towards the door that led into Taehyung’s room. He hadn’t arrived yet, as per Seokjin’s request so you and Hoseok had more than enough time to prepare the room without him knowing of your little plot. Hoseok noticed your eyes wander, and was quick to take your hand. “You have to tell him.”

“I don’t know if I can.” You admitted, the words slipping out of your mouth quicker than you had thought they would, and with a lot more vulnerability. Hoseok smiled, squeezing your hand, before silently leading you out the door to wait for the arriving students.

When Taehyung arrived, late as requested by Seokjin, who sent him a gift card to buy a late breakfast, he arrived with a full belly and an aching heart. If someone had told him on his first day that the idea of leaving this job would cause him any kind of pain, he would have never believed them. However, as he stepped into the school, he had to swallow a lump of sadness trying to force its way up to his throat. He didn’t want to cry, at least, didn’t think he did, but it sure as hell felt that way. Upon entering the hallway, Seokjin stood outside the door, typing away on his phone. Occasionally, his eyes would look up, towards the door, as if he was waiting for Taehyung to arrive. As soon as he saw Taehyung, he grinned and approached him, throwing an arm over his shoulder.

“Taehyung! How are you doing?!” He asked curiously. “Was breakfast good?” Taehyung nodded, smiling softly.

“Yes.”

“Good. C’mere, I need to show you something.” Without any further explanation, Seokjin practically dragged Taehyung towards your room. “Now, close your eyes, okay?” Taehyung sighed, smiling as he followed his boss’s orders, amusement on his face. He had a feeling he knew what was going on here. Seokjin led him forward, and when the door closed behind them, Seokjin said. “Open them.”

When Taehyung opened his eyes, his ears were flooded with a group of children shouting “SURPRISE!!!!” A grin broke out on Taehyung’s face, and he looked around. You and Hoseok were standing by the front of the room, looking at something on the computer, while Yoongi was standing by the table of food, arms crossed as he watched the kids sit eagerly in their seats.

“Wow, this is crazy, guys. It all looks amazing! Did you do this?” The kids nodded in excitement. As Taehyung walked farther into the room, he admired the decorations. When he turned to you, he smiled sweetly. “This is all really sweet. Thanks, guys.”

Hoseok put his hands on Taehyung’s shoulders, a smile beaming on his face. “Of course, Taehyung. We can’t send you off without a proper goodbye!” Quickly, he motioned to one of the tables against the wall, which was filled with snacks. “All of the parents brought snacks and stuff. Today is a party day.”

“Party day!” A few kids shrieked, the idea of a day full of treats and fun filling them with so much excitement, it was as if they had already downed tons of sugar. Taehyung smiled a bit, his chest bubbling with a sense of excitement he hadn’t felt in a long time.

“I’m always down for a party day.” He agreed, grinning at you and Hoseok. “Let’s go.”

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The party day was very nice, and incredibly well needed. You played music, allowed the kids time to eat, and brought them outside for some free time due to the nice weather. Yoongi had grabbed the equipment, and the children ran their energy off with Taehyung, scattered throughout every corner of the field. Hoseok was sitting on the floor, rolling a ball around with some of the kids, who Yoongi was showing a few other kids how to shoot baskets in a small net that had been set up on the field. You were using chalk with Yuna and another small girl, doodling hearts and colorful flowers. As the girls complimented each other’s little doodles, you turned towards Taehyung. The man was eagerly rushing through the field; boys such as Yeonjun, Kai, and Beomgyu chased after him, he grinned, only running faster. The boys screamed as they watched the older man flee, trying to follow him as fast as their little legs could carry them. Kai finally managed to grab Taehyung by the leg, screaming “TAG!” And the other kids roaring in laughter. Taehyung dramatically, as he does, fell to the ground, only to be tackled by several children, all of them screaming and cheering in delight. A smile formed on your face as even more kids hurried to the scene, excited about what was going on, Yuna being one of them.

“Be careful!” You called out. Taehyung sat up, shaking out his hair. When you called his name, he turned towards you a grinned, lifting a hand to signal that your request was heard and would be carried out. Without missing a beat, he scattered the kids out once again. As Yuna scurried back to you, sitting down and grasping a pink piece of chalk, you watched Taehyung get dragged by Yeonjun and Kai towards Yoongi, who was still helping students shoot some baskets. Yoongi tossed the other teacher a ball upon watching him, and both of them began shooting, but at a net that was much higher up, and meant for adults or any passing by teenagers who used the lot after hours. Seokjin had it installed a few years back specifically for that reason.

As each moment passed, you knew it inched close and closer to the end of the day. You kept replaying one sentence in your head over and over, mentally rehearsing it for the moment a part of you was dreading. Well, it was several sentences, rephrased in hopes that one would spark some kind of inspiration deep within your belly. So far, nothing and this had been happening almost all day.

I don’t want this to be the reason you stay, but you deserve to know that I love you. Too passive.

As much as I want you to stay, you should go chase your dreams. But just know, I love you. Too wordy.

I love you, but I don’t want to hold you back from your dreams.

“Perfect.” You mumbled under your breath.

“What’s perfect, Teacher?” Yuna asked, looking up at you. You glanced at the girl, who had stopped her coloring on the sidewalk to glance at you, eyebrow cocked in confusion. A smile graced your lips, pointing to her scribbled rainbow.

“Your picture, Yuna! It’s perfect! I just wished it was on paper so I could hang it up! Can I hang up the piece of sidewalk in our classroom?” Yuna and the other little girl laughed, shaking their heads. As the girls returned to their coloring, you glanced back to Taehyung, you had just shot a free shot into the basket, hearing screams and shouts from the students, and claps from Yoongi. “Yeah, it’s perfect.” You repeated. Now, all you had to do was actually speak up and say it.

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“Bye, Mr. Kim.” A sniffling Yeji called hand in hand with her mother. A majority of kids who had failed to bring presents that morning dropped them off at pick up, Yeji included. The little girl wiped her eyes as she waved from the back of her car, her mother wishing Taehyung well wishes as the duo pulled out and down the street. With the last student gone, Taehyung finally let out a sigh of relief.

“Man, these kids.” Bending down, he scooped up some of his presents, slipping them onto his arms like shopping bags and carrying some under his arms.

“Let me-.” Hoseok began but quickly stopped himself. He glanced at you, watching as you smooth out your skirt, eyes to the floor. “Go clean the room.” He nudged you, and when your attention was on him, he motioned to the remainder of the gifts on the floor.

When you noticed, you quickly knelt to grab the rest. “I’ll help you.” You smiled up at Taehyung. He smiled a bit, and the three of you headed inside, Hoseok breaking away as you passed the messy classroom. As he watched you two head into the art room, he closed the door behind him, pursing his lips together as he looked around the now empty room.

“You made out like a bandit.” You said to Taehyung, setting the presents down on the table. He laughed at the metaphor, nodding his head.

“I did, didn’t I? I’m pretty lucky.” He glanced over at you, watching as you examined the colorful gift bags. “Thank you for everything.” When you turned to him, you watched him slowly approach you.

“No, thank you.” You responded. “I appreciate everything. Even early on.” A chuckle escaped his boxy grin. “It’ll be different without you around.”

“I told Hyung when he hires someone before the new year, I’ll come back in and show them the ropes for the day if my schedule allows it. So, this won’t be the end of me, trust that much.” You nodded. Taehyung shifted a bit, glancing up at the door, which you had been sure to close behind you on the way in. “Jimin told me Namjoon invited you to that company party they’re having.”

“Yeah. I was hesitant at first, but I thought it would be something fun other than sitting home drinking wine.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fun.” You nodded. Taehyung took a moment to examine your features, and it took you only a moment to notice. A shy smirk graced your lips. “What are you looking at?” you asked curiously.

“…I’m sorry.” He said softly. You blinked, the smirk quickly fading away, and confusion taking its place. “You just looked…really sad today. It might be bold of me to assume it’s because I’m leaving, but…every time you looked at me today, you looked really sad. So, I’m sorry you’re feeling that way.”

“Heh. Does the Korean University of Arts provide a class for facial features?” you asked curiously.

“No.” Taehyung smiled. “You just have really pretty features, so I’ve been studying them.” Immediately, you felt your heart speed up, and your eyes widened just a bit. Taehyung smiled a bit. “When I came back from setting up everything and said I missed you guys, I think I missed you the most.”

“Taehyung-.” You sighed softly. “I appreciate that…” Clasping your hands together, you looked down at the floor, then quickly back up to him. “There’s something I want to tell you, but I don’t know how you’re going to take it.” Taehyung was now the one to frown, rubbing his arm.

“You don’t have to say it, if you don’t want to…” he admitted. What? You thought, looking up at him. “You look like you’re about to pass out. It’s okay…don’t worry...” When you looked at Taehyung, you could see the pain in his eyes as he rubbed the back of his neck, licking his bottom lip shyly. Why didn’t he want you to say it? Was he worried what hearing the words aloud would make him think?

It was just like you thought. You could see the pain in his eyes, and it made your heart hurt. You didn’t want him to leave here with anything but joy in his eyes, smiling even after he had long left this place, with only good memories of his final moments as the school art teacher. When his eyes fell back to you, you shivered. “It was a pleasure getting to know you. In every sense of the word.”

“Taehyung-.” You repeated. The taller man was quick to put his hand on your cheek, which stunned you, but you had no intention of stopping him. You instead tilted your cheek into it a bit. “I want to tell you…”

“No, you don’t. You’re worried about what telling me will do. Just know, I appreciate it. I appreciate everything. I’ll let you know when I come back into town, so all of us can get together, okay?” he asked. “Just promise you’ll be really happy and keep working hard. I’ll do the same for you too, okay?”

This isn’t what I wanted to happen. You thought to yourself. You still have time; you need to say it before he leaves. Despite the internal cheer squad in your mind, your lips remained tightly sealed, as if someone or something inside your mouth was holding your lips together with all of its might. Taehyung smiled, stepping back and turning to all of his presents. Scooping them up, he slipped them on his arms once again, sliding a few others in his backpack and slinging that onto his back. You watched silently as he nodded his head to you, heading out the door.

“Would it make a difference?” you asked, turning to him. Taehyung stopped, turning his head to face you. “I’m not saying what I feel is meant to keep you from your dreams, but if I said it out loud, would it make a difference on if you left or not?” Taehyung’s eyes dropped from your gaze the moment he saw tears bubble up into your eyes. The corner of his eye gave him a quick glimpse of your hand raising to wipe them away. “Would it?” you repeated. Taehyung quickly walked up to you, stopped right in front of you, and making you immediately stare up at him.

“…No. I don’t think so.” He said softly. You blinked, feeling your hands drop to your sides. Taehyung gently leaned forward, placing a soft peck right onto your forward. When he pulled back, he offered you a sad smile. “But at the same time…I don’t think I’ll be able to handle myself if I hear you say it out loud.” With that, Taehyung turned back around and headed out the door. You blinked, running a hand through your hair as you looked around the room, feeling a lump form in your throat.

Hoseok saw Taehyung practically sprint out of the hallway. Before Hoseok could get out to see him and say goodbye once again, Taehyung was already out the door. Hoseok stood in the hallway for a moment, confused as to what made him run out so quickly. Then, it hit him. “Oh, no.” Spinning on his heel, Hoseok hurried to the art room. When he entered, he saw you still standing in the same spot, rubbing your cheeks in a desperate attempt to calm yourself. “What happened?” he asked curiously.

“I couldn’t tell him directly.” You said, voice shaky and unsure. “But he said it was ok. Right before he left, I asked if it would even make a difference, you know if he would even stay if I said anything and-.” Hoseok simply walked up to you, pulling you into a tight hug. “He said no, so…maybe I was too late like I thought.” Saying that out loud, you felt your eyes water up to more, and you sniffled into his chest. Hoseok rested his chin on your head, gently rubbing your back as you sobbed into his chest. “I messed up so bad, Hobi…”

“No…no, you didn’t…” he said gently, smiling gently at you. “Everything happens for a reason. It’s okay.” For a moment, the two of you stood in silence, Hoseok gently rubbing your back as he waited for you to calm down. As he watched your body slowly stop crying, he took you by the hands. “Wanna come to my house tonight for dinner so you’re not home alone?” You sighed, nodding your head. “Okay. Let’s go get our stuff.”

Meanwhile, outside, Taehyung was on the train headed home. He had been sitting in silence thus far, hands gripping the gifts that piled on his lap. When the silence became too unbearable, even within a crowded train car, he called Jimin. He was quick to answer.

“Hey! How was your last day?”

“She asked me if her decision would be enough to make me stay here.” Jimin went silent for a moment.

“…What did you say?”

“I told her not to say it out loud. I didn’t want to hear it…I don’t think I want to hear it.” He heard Jimin exhale right as the train began to pull up to Taehyung’s station. Neither one of them spoke for a moment as Taehyung exited onto the platform until Taehyung clarified: “I don’t think I can.”

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“Let me see what you’re wearing tonight,” Bong-Cha asked, leaning forward on her chair. You had been in the bathroom for over an hour preparing, and she was growing impatient. “Come on! The party will be over and done with at this rate.”

“Shut t, Bong-Cha. Don’t rush me.” Sighing, Bong-Cha got up and walked to the bathroom, knocking quickly. “Namjoon will be here any minute and I don’t want to look like I just rolled out of bed.”

“Then you’ll need more than just an hour.” She huffed. Finally, Bong-Cha’s banging was stopped as the doorbell rang through the house. “I’ll get it!” She cheered, hurrying up to the door and flinging it open. You poked your head out of the bathroom door, watching as your sister flung the front door open. “Kim Namjoon?” she asked.

“Yes. You must be Bong-Cha.” Namjoon hummed. “Your sister has told me a lot about you.” Bong-Cha giggled, letting Namjoon in and closing the door behind him. “I’m a bit early. The babysitter came right from school so I figured I’d just head right over.”

“No worries. She’s almost done.” Bong-Cha turned around and saw you slowly step out of the bathroom, closing the door behind you. You were in a simple pair of coral dress pants that hugged your hips, and a tucked-in top that had a fun cream and white pattern on it. Your hair was tugged up in a ponytail, exposing a set of stud earrings. As you lifted your hand to fix your hair, a few silver bracelets jingled together on your wrist.

“Hey.” You smiled. Namjoon stared at you for a moment, silent as he watched you gather your belongings. When you looked back up at him, he coughed into his hand.

“You look nice.” He said gently. A polite smile formed on your lips. “Ready?”

“Yea.” You smiled. Bong-Cha waved the both of you out the door, promising to lock up and leave after gathering up her belongings. Both you and Namjoon headed downstairs, slid into his car, and drove off.

The party was held at a nearby BBQ grill place across from the building. The CEO rented the entire place out to allow for some space and more opportunities to socialize. People gathered to eat, drink, chat, and enjoy the music that was pounding overhead through a set of speakers. As you and Namjoon entered, you immediately felt a chill run down your spine. As you rubbed your arms, Namjoon gently guided you down the hall. “Jimin is here.” He pointed out. “I think he told me he would be near the food most of the night. Let’s go say hi.” As you ventured into the building, you quickly caught sight of Jimin. He was by the food, a drink in his hand as he chatted with a few of his coworkers. He was laughing, grinning, amused by the other people’s jokes and comments. “Jimin!” Namjoon called, and Jimin turned with a grin. Excusing himself from his friends, he hurried over to you. He bowed quickly to his boss, but his attention was on you.

“Hey! Namjoon-Hyung told me you were coming, I’m so happy to see you again!” Jimin grinned. “You look so nice.”

“You too. How are you?” Jimin was quick to engage you in conversation, practically forgetting Namjoon was there after his polite greeting. The man watched in amusement, fixing his glasses as the two of you got comfortable. Slowly, he put a hand on the small of your back, alerting your attention.

“I’m going to get something to drink and find my boss. Do you want anything?”

“Uhm water please.” You smiled sweetly. Namjoon nodded, before heading into a crowd of people, being sure to shake hands and introduce himself to whoever he came across. With you alone with Jimin, he gently took your hands.

“How are you doing?” he asked again, gentler this time. You smiled. “I can tell you’re not your happiest.”

“I should be saying that to you. Your best friend and the only client as a manager is leaving.” Jimin smiled, nodding his head.

“Yeah, that’s true. But he doesn’t have a crush on me. At least, that I’m aware of.” You couldn’t help but laugh, even though hearing Jimin says that sent butterflies through your stomach and into your throat, pressing against the walls as if wanting to come out.

“I don’t think our final meeting went at all the way either of us wanted to.” You admitted. “He said he wouldn’t stay even if I said anything, and that he didn’t think he could even handle hearing it.” Jimin nodded.

“I know. He and I were talking a lot on the drive to the station.” Hearing Jimin says that caused you to bite your lip. “...What?”

“I forgot that today was the day he was leaving.” You said softly. “A part of me wanted to go see him before he left one more time but…I didn’t want to make anything worse.” Jimin smiled.

“He might’ve liked that, though,” Jimin assured. “I don’t think it would’ve made anything worse.” You could only shrug your shoulders in response. Jimin looked over his shoulder, then back to you. “Want something to eat before Namjoon-Hyung comes back with your water?”

“…Okay, yeah.” You smiled softly, following Jimin towards the food table, which was now unoccupied. You both put a few snacks on your plates. As Jimin watched you eat, he thought back to only hours earlier, when he had dropped Taehyung off at the station.

“Let me know when you’re on the train,” Jimin said.

“I’ll try. The service won’t be that great, but I’ll text you when I get to my aunts for sure.” The duo shared a hug in the car, and Taehyung glanced out towards the entrance to the train station. He sat silently in the passenger’s seat, before turning to Jimin. “You’re going to see her at that party tonight, right?”

“Yeah,” Jimin said.

“Make sure Namjoon just…takes care of her, okay? I don’t want to have to come back just to throw some punches at the guy right when we found common ground.” Jimin frowned a bit.

“You don’t have to worry, Taehyung.” He said. “That won’t happen.”

“I know but-.”

“It won’t,” Jimin repeated. Taehyung blinked, licking his lips quickly and running a hand through his hair. “I think you should call her, Taehyung. Let her say what she has to.”

“I don’t want to,” Taehyung admitted. “She’s going to a party with Namjoon, she is obviously uncomfortable talking to me about it. She looked like she was going to cry when I saw her. I didn’t want her to cry…” Taehyung finally opened the door. “It is what it is, I just want her to be happy.” Jimin watched as Taehyung got out of the car. “As I said, I’ll text you later. Have fun tonight.” The familiar boxy grin showed on Taehyung’s face, but Jimin could only see pain. Fixing his mask over his nose, his friend closed the door and disappeared into the train station. After a moment of sitting there, the sound of a car horn honking behind him encouraged Jimin to drive off.

Jimin watched as you put some of the snacks into your mouth, smiling at him. “This is really good. Your boss went all out, hm?”

“Heh, yeah, he’s pretty good with that,” Jimin admitted. As you continued to eat, Jimin looked at you. He knew any minute Namjoon would be back and would whisk your attention away. Despite attending the party as friends, with Taehyung leaving, Namjoon had the opportunity to try and win you over. Would that be a bad thing? No. Would it be what you truly wanted? Also, no. Jimin looked around, catching a glimpse of Namjoon chatting with a few of the higher-ups, laughing as they shared a round of drinks. Quickly, he turned to you. “Are you sure you’re okay with Taehyung just leaving?”

“What?” you asked curiously. “Well….no…but he made up his mind and-.”

“What did you tell him?” Jimin asked. You frowned. “Hm?”

“Nothing. He said he didn’t want me to say it out loud because he didn’t want to hear it. I already said that…So, even if I did tell him, I loved him, he still would have left. I just didn’t want to be selfish. But maybe a part of me should have been…” Jimin sighed. “Maybe I should have fought harder to keep him around. Tell him anyway, or go see him like I wanted to.”

“Maybe so.” Jimin began. You glanced at him. “I have a feeling Taehyung’s thought and your confession got miscommunicated. I have a feeling Taehyung thinks you were about to reject him over Hyung.” You blinked.

“…What?” you asked again.

“He told me when we went on that weekend trip to the school that he didn’t expect something would be here that would have made it hard for him to leave. I think a part of him really wanted to stay here with you, despite everything that’s been happening.”

You were silent, stunned even. “You really believe he thinks I was rejecting him?”

“You told him about the party with Hyung tonight, and he said you looked terrified to talk to him ever since he got the notice about this scholarship. He probably didn’t want to hear it because he wanted to have a bit more time to think he had a chance with you.”

“No. That’s not what I wanted to happen. Oh God, I knew I messed up.” You ran a hand through your hair, pupils darting in every direction. Jimin set his plate on the table, and quickly took your hand, hoping it would calm you down and allow you a moment to think. “…I need to call him.” Right as you pulled out your phone, dialing Taehyung’s number, it went to voicemail. “Wh-?”

“The service isn’t that great, he said we might not hear from him until he gets to his aunt’s house in Seoul.”

“I can’t have him leave thinking that I can’t. I need to tell him.” You looked at Jimin. “What station did you take him to? Do you know what train he’s supposed to be getting on?” Jimin nodded, quick to take out his phone and send you the direction to the station, along with the train number and departure time. “Can I even manage to get a taxi?”

“A taxi?” Both you and Jimin looked up to see Namjoon approach, smiling playfully as he handed you your water. “Are you thinking of ditching me?” Despite his playful chuckle, when you took the water in your hands, he immediately noticed them trembling violently. Glancing back up at you, he could see how red your eyes were from holding back a load of tears. “Hey what’s wrong?”

“I need to get to Taehyung.” You said. “I need to talk to him and he doesn’t have service and I need to before he leaves, I-.” Namjoon glanced at Jimin, who was biting his lower lip, still gripping your hand that didn’t have the water bottle in it.

“I can drive you.” He offered quickly. You looked at him, absolutely shocked. “We can’t have him leave with such a heavy burden on his shoulders. It could affect his inspirational juices while he’s away at school.” Namjoon dug in his pocket, pulling out his keys. “Besides, we just started getting along, I can’t have him dislike me again already.” Gently, he took your hand, leading you out towards his parked car. “Jimin, if the CEO asks, say it was my son, okay? I’ll never hear the end of it if he thinks I took a girl home.” You couldn’t help but stifle a laugh as Namjoon quickly led you out the door of the establishment. Once in the car with the directions in place, he sped off down the street.

The first half of the ride was silent until you turned to Namjoon. Running a hand through your hair, you finally spoke up: “You didn’t have to do this. I could’ve hailed a taxi or…had Hoseok pick me up or something.”

“Nonsense. That would have taken way too long and you’re on a time crunch.” Namjoon offered you a smile. “I’m just sorry if I in any way led to this miscommunication.”

“No.” you gasped. “Of course not. I should have made sure I said it then to avoid this. Maybe things would be different if I had...”

“Better late than never, right?” he chuckled. “I’m sure if you tell him, it’ll just make both of you feel better. Even if he still leaves for school, both of you will have that stress, and any of those negative feelings or thoughts of ‘what if’ lifted off your shoulders. It’ll do you both good.”

“That’s true.” You said softly. Namjoon smiled, reaching out and patting your hand gently, hoping the gesture would send just a little bit of support your way. You smiled. “Thank you, Namjoon,” you said softly. Namjoon nodded.

The both of you continued your drive, silent other than the sounds of the moving car around you. All you could do was stare at the time, wondering how much time you had left. Would the train come early? Would it be late? Should you take out your bus card now so you wouldn’t have to waste time fumbling inside? Could you even find Taehyung in time, much less tell him what you wanted to say? What would his reaction be? What-?

“We’re here,” Namjoon said. You looked up at the entrance to the train station as Namjoon stopped his car. “Want me to come with you?”

“No. Thank you.” You said. “I’ll be back.” Namjoon watched as you practically flew out of the car, hurrying into the station. Namjoon watched until you disappeared, before leaning back in his seat and covering his eyes.

You raced down a few hallways, being stopped by a worker in the station. When they asked what you were doing, you could only ask where you could find the train that Jimin told you Taehyung was expecting to take. Assuming you were a frantic woman late for her ride, they simply pointed you in the right direction. With a nod and a bow, you hurried down as quickly as your legs could carry you. You were hoping, praying for Taehyung to still be on the platform, waiting for his train.

As you were running, Taehyung was sitting on one of the bench chairs, his music playing through his earphones. Every few seconds, when the platform rumbled, he would glance up only to see a train pull up, and individuals shuffle in and out of the train. Taehyung glanced around, before finding comfort in his phone again. He was scrolling through pictures that Hoseok had sent him from their days at the preschool. Some of Taehyung with the students, working on arts and crafts, hanging stuff up in the hallways. As he continued to look through, he came across a collection of photos towards the end of the slideshow. It was from the day the teachers put on a play for the students of “The Moon and the Sun”. Seokjin had been snapping pictures of the performance before his scenes. As he continued to scroll, a video came up. He saw the thumbnail of you before the show beginning, fixing the bun he had put in your hair. He remembered specifically taking Hoseok’s phone to record, with his being in the art room. He was quick to hit play.

“Ready for your acting debut?” Taehyung asked, off-screen. You rolled your eyes.

“When I win an award for my winning performance, I’ll be sure to thank everyone except for you.” Taehyung was heard laughing in the background.

“Awww, really? Come on now, that’s not fair.”

“I’ll be sure to thank you, Taehyungie,” Hoseok said, in that high-pitched voice that Taehyung remembered had every kid hysterical when he used. Both you and Taehyung laughed at the man as he fixed his braided wig, tossing it effortlessly over his shoulder.

“I hate you both. Now turn that off and get in costume before the kids come in.” was your demand, the video was quick to end. A smile formed on Taehyung’s face, and he closed his phone just as another rumble ran through the station. Looking up, he saw his train arrive. People were already gathering to get on, hoping to find a good seat for the trip to Seoul. Taehyung slipped his earbuds out, grabbing the one duffle bag he had brought with him as he waited for some room to safely get on the train. He fixed his mask and started off the platform and towards the train.

You hurried down a flight of stairs just in time to see that the train was arriving any moment if it hadn’t already. Turning the corner, you saw a flood of individuals come out into the main part of the station, right in the direction Taehyung’s train was expected to be. Feeling your heart drop, you hurried as quick as you could pass the people, a string of frantic apologies and excuses falling from your mouth. Just as you managed to make your way through, you saw the train. However, you couldn’t see Taehyung. You knew time was ticking, and you had to make sure he could see you, or at least hear you. Taking a deep breath, you grasped your hands together:

“KIM TAEHYUNG!” You shouted at the top of your lungs.

Just as Taehyung was arriving on the train, the sound of his name hit his ears. His head spun around, eyes scanning for the source of the noise. He couldn’t make it out right away, but that was when he heard: “TAEHYUNG?!” Once more. Being able to isolate the noise, his eyes fell to a circle that had formed towards the bench he was sitting at. People staring at this one person who was screaming throughout the station. His eyes widened just as you and he made eye contact, and he could see how red your eyes were.

“What the-?” Taehyung’s first instinct was to step out onto the platform again, to rush towards you and see what was wrong. However, the train doors closed, blocking his path and trapping him in the train. He stood by the window, watching as you stood there, trying to hurry to the train door. “What’s wrong?” he tried to call through the glass windows.

“I’m sorry!” you shouted. “I love you!” Taehyung raised an eyebrow, unable to hear properly due to all of the noise. Before he could ask for clarification, he was alerted when the train announcement came onto the speakers:

Train departing. Please step back from the platform to ensure your safety. Thank you.

“I love you…” You tried to say again. Just as Taehyung felt the wheels of the train roll away, he saw Namjoon hurry up behind you, quickly pulling you back from the train station. You turned to him visibly shocked, and trying to pull away from him. “Wait, I don’t think he heard me. I don’t want him to leave before he heard me.”

“You need to step back, it isn’t safe.” Taehyung watched as Namjoon practically yanked you back, for your safety, as the train began to fully head out of the station. His eyes remained on you, however, even hurrying past other individuals farther down the train in hopes to see you for just a moment longer. He ignored every shout from passengers he squeezed past.

When the train entered its first tunnel, all sight of you was cut short, and Taehyung was left in absolute darkness.

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[shouldhavebeenyou]

The Storm

Its not fair.

Its been seven years since I fell in love with you. Every single day since then, my life has been turned upside down. It was raw, rough, passionate, incredible, painful, young love. I had no clue what I was doing with a girl like you. You were so high above me, all I knew was that I wanted it to last forever. You had the dopest soul I ever encountered, and I never knew I could care for someone so much. You may never know the effect you had on me. The moments we spent together replay in my head over and over, eroding away my will to live with every painful memory. 

But are the memories really painful? No, I suppose not. Those memories are full of complex emotions; happiness, sadness, longing, regret, love, despair, hopelessness, and yes, pain. Those memories are all I have left of our time together, aside from a few obscure landscape photographs where you were just out of frame. I try not to look at them.. but when I do it brings it all back. I wish I kept more of a record of us. As time goes on, it gets harder to remember. I lay awake at night just trying to play it all out. Just trying to remember your beautiful face, the feel of your lips, the sound of your laugh, the smell of your skin, the endless puns and witty jokes. The places we discovered and adventured together. The trouble we got in. 

Its not fair.

I can’t sleep. It’s been a few years of this. Each night is filled with hours of replaying my mistakes in my head, hours of picturing your face inches from mine, hours of remembering the nights spent at your childhood home out on the trampoline talking, replaying the memories of taking so long to leave that your dad flips the porch light on and off to say “hurry up.” After hours of recalling the best and worst of it all I might finally slip into an exhausted state where I just can’t think anymore. It’s like sleeping, but altogether different too, like a restless trance. Images flash through my head, some of them memories, some of them inventions of the dreaming mind. About every hour I’ll awake from this trance for a few moments, my heart racing and feeling broken, only to slip back into this nightmarish world of what could have been. Should have been.

Its like a slow, drawn out death. With every restless night the next day gets harder. The last time I truly felt alive was with you. The last time I truly felt in love was with you. The last time I truly felt, was with you. The last thing you said to me runs through my head over and over daily. I’ve held on to that memory since then like it was my only shot at freedom, at redemption, at life. Its naïve, I know, but I still think maybe, just maybe, we’ll run into each other on that crowded city street and pick up where we left off, just like you said that day you last left me. 

Its not fair. 

I did everything I thought I was supposed to. I’m such an idiot. You said to go to finish my degree, move away, and maybe when I’m finished with it we would run into each other on that crowded street. Well I’m done, I got that expensive piece of qualifying paper. In my fight for it, I lost sight of you. I became romanticized, deluded. In my degraded state of emptiness without you I became ravenous for something, anything, that would make me feel again. I tried more things to fill that void than I would like to admit, but the one that stuck was skydiving. The rush of air beneath me, the sky around and above me, the horizon seemingly stretching endlessly in every direction, the deafening roar of wind, and the feeling of soaring miles through empty space are the closest I have felt to you since you left. And yet, it falls so short that even hundreds of skydives couldn’t make me forget you, couldn’t measure up to the way you made me feel. If only I told myself to ditch the parachute and fly to you before it was too late. You are truly irreplaceable, and I can only hope he knows that as well as I do.

You have become the Daisy to my Gastby, the green light at the end of the dock across the bay, the unobtainable end to my story. I don’t know who I would be without that force driving me, but sometimes I can’t help but think I would be better, happier. Like Gatsby gone to war, I have probably romanticized your memory too much in those years since you left and I moved, distorting the dope soul I once knew and loved unconditionally into an impossibly perfect idea of you. Before I knew it, I was done with school, left skydiving by the wayside, and trapped myself with someone who reminded me of you. Someone who sparked something in me for just a moment, and gave me hope again. I chased her hoping it would come back, but it didn’t. I don’t know why I settled. Maybe after the exhaustion of sleepless years I just wanted to take the easy way out, and be done with the chase. Maybe I didn’t feel like I deserved you, and I gave up before really even trying. I hate myself for that. I feel like a masochist torturing himself because he just doesn’t know better, or perhaps because he thinks the pain and despair will make him stronger. Well, it hasn’t. I’m weak. Broken. A shell of the man I used to be. I was once able to smile, genuinely. Now, it’s like I’ve lost the muscle memory to smile or laugh. I look back at pictures of myself before I moved to this fiery hell, and that man is unrecognizable. You can see the hope that was once in my eyes, the youth in my face, the ambition and energy. Its all gone now. 

Its not fair. 

I tried to move on. I spent hours reading, occupying my mind with something else. I’ve read hundreds of books just trying to think about you less. But some days, I just can’t help myself but to look you up and see how you’re doing. I always regret it. It pushes me back into that deep depressive state where I just can’t do anything anymore. It breaks me nearly every time. Your engagement broke me. Your wedding broke me. You look so happy with him, and that alone is maybe the only thing that keeps me alive, albeit hanging on by a thread. 

I tried to focus on the future, and not dwell on the past. I tried to fully engross myself in my relationship, my work, my hobbies, to find some source of happiness outside of you and your memory. Finally, one such source came. I was going to have a daughter. A new love of my life. Someone who maybe could finally make me happy again, give me a sense of purpose, of hope, ambition, the energy to get out of bed in the morning. 

Its not fair. 

She died. The only thread of hope I had, the first taste of feeling anything real since you left. Gone. I thought I had known pain and depression before, but this cut through me like an icy blade. And it just kept cutting. I saw her, I held her lifeless body in my hands, her precious form only the size of my palm. It killed me. I remembered you. You had once told me you always had a feeling you could never physically have children. They say that God has an ironic sense of humor, but I don’t find this humorous at all. With some sick twist of fate, it was not you, but I, who could not beget. Months of pain and anguish went by, as I slipped deeper into my state of peril.

I’m 25 now. This was a hard birthday this past weekend. I couldn’t stop thinking about you and how over and above you always went with gifts and birthdays. I also couldn't stop thinking about how the only thing I wanted was my daughter back. I had some sick day dream that maybe you both would come back to me, the best birthday gift possible. I fought it. I pushed hard against the thoughts that crept into the dark corners of my mind, the thoughts of us. I wanted the pain to just end. I fought against it for a few nights, until last night. Yet another sleepless night filled with memories, flashes, flooding into my closed eyes and keeping me restless. Irrationally I thought “Maybe if I could just see her face, it would hurt a little less.” I was wrong. 

Its not fair.

You have a daughter of your own on the way. Due nearly the same time as mine was, in the Fall. We always loved Autumn. The leaves, the air, the color, the fading daylight and cool breeze. It always reminds me of you, and our naïve “Something Day.” I’ll never forget we chose our favorite month, October, and our favorite number, 4, that we just happened to have in common. Its a painful day every year. Its not fair. Why does my daughter get taken from me the same time you’re given one? Why does everything I love get taken from me? Why am I not deserving of the life I wanted? What did I do to deserve this life of consistent pain and inadequacy? I hate it. I want out. I don’t know how much longer I can live with this pain. A scene from one of our darker days plays on repeat in my mind. You wanted to meet near the library to talk. It was late in the summer, the middle of monsoon season. In typical monsoon fashion, there were clouds all around us, thundering and flashing with lightning, though immediately above us a hole penetrated the clouds, allowing the sun to shine through on us. It seems like a scene from a novel, the weather meant to foreshadow what was about to happen in my heart. You looked more broken than I had ever seen you, with your eyes downcast and wrists bloody. That sight alone shattered my heart. You told me all your friends, the people that made you happy, hated that we were together. It was your last year of high school, I would’ve hated myself if you were miserable at school your entire senior year, all because of me. You said you couldn’t do it anymore, and that we needed to break up. It might not have been our last break up, but it was the most painful. Perhaps it was all amplified by the scenery and my young, dramatic, broken heart. We parted and I sat in my car there at the library for hours, sobbing uncontrollably and praying to God asking why. The storm that was raging around us quickly descended upon me, and upon my heart, ripping a hole through the middle of it like the hole of sun that was above us. Before I knew it my tears were one with the downpour that was all around me. 

That scene is all I can think about now. The storm is so vivid, I could paint it with the minutest detail. A new hole has been rent through my scarred heart and left there by my departed daughter, reminding me of the hole that was first left there 7 years ago by you, and which has been repeatedly reopened and scarred over since. I’ve tried to heal, but I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel true happiness again. I don’t know if I’ll ever find true passion again, like I had with you. I don’t know if I’ll ever know true hope again, like when my daughter was alive. Its not fair. You’ve moved on. You’re happy with him. You’re creating a beautiful family with a new daughter. Here I am, stuck in the past, unable to let go of the storm you left in my heart. 

Its just not fair. 

[angelicspaceprince]

Ouija

Author: Ama

Title: Ouija

Pairing: Possible Future Beetlejuice/Reader

Character/s: Beetlejuice

Word Count: 2, 473 words

Warnings: Beetlejuice has dyslexia, I do not, I tried.

Tags: @yankyo, @justballoonfishthings, @breadbudzo, @aethersghoulette, @ironically-deadinside, @beetlejuicecansteponme, @beetlebitchywitch (some of you asked, some of you I just tagged bc)

Prompt: You find a Ouija board and end up communicating with a ghost who has trouble spelling. Together you figure out a way for him to communicate with you a little bit easier.

Notes: I promised this fic like ages ago, based off of @slut-4-beetlejuice hcs that they wrote ages ago and we kinda did a dance of reblogs where we added to each other. But yeah, this is what I came up with! My plan for this fic is to do it in two parts and if y’all want more I can write more later, but I’m basically gonna portray your side of the story and then our favourite residential ghost with the most. This, obviously, is the reader’s side of the story. This is my first attempt at writing Beetlejuice as a fic, not as a hc so please be gentle with me. I hope y’all enjoy!Also, I had speechie friendo talk to me about dyslexia and I based Beej’s spelling mistakes around the notes she sent me.

Ouija Board Inspiration

Buy Me a Coffee

Ouija

It had started out innocently enough. You were bored and decided to spend the day exploring your new attic. You found a box filled with old games and decided that you wanted to sort through them, see if any were unusual or rare that you could keep. Most of them, you planned to donate somewhere, or put them back into storage.

You weren’t expecting much. Maybe a torn-up game of Twister, or Mouse Trap. Half a pack of Uno cards, or a ruined game of Trouble, and for the most part, you got what you expected. But when you found the Ouija board, you were a little surprised. Most of the games were for children, and weren’t in good enough nick to keep, let alone play. But the Ouija board looked like it just came out of the factory that created it. You go to lift the case from the bottom of the box, surprised by how heavy it was when you started to lift, nearly dropping it twice when you finally got it out and onto the table in front of you. Carefully, you lift the lid.

No wonder it was heavy. The Ouija board was wooden, and bigger than you were expecting. The dark wood had been engraved with the usual things a Ouija has, Yes, No, Goodbye, numbers 0-9 and every letter of the alphabet, the outside decorated with various designs you couldn’t make out in the dark. The one you could recognise was the pentagram engraved between the Yes and the No on the board. The planchette was also heavy, made from the same wood as the board, engraved with just two x’s, indicating where to put your finger.

You look over at the board as you hold the planchette in your hands. You were bored, yes. The attic was now in a state, yes. But the urge to test out the Ouija board was beginning to get too great. You organise yourself on the floor, placing the planchette in the middle of the board and just.... waiting. Not really sure on what to do now.

“Uh…hello?” Your voice is uncertain before you yelp when the cursor on the board begins to move. Yes, your fingers are on the x’s, but you weren’t providing any pressure. It just moved on its own.

‘H – I.’ The cursor spells out as your brain sort circuits as it returns to the centre of the board.

“Uhhhhh.” You pause, not sure how to proceed. “I’m Y/N. What’s your name?” The planchette seems to shake a little before moving towards the ‘No’ part of the board, returning to the centre. “You don’t want to tell me?” It moves back to the ‘No’. “That’s ok then. Can I ask if you’re really dead?” It moves to the ‘Yes’. “Is that yes I can ask, or yes you are?”

‘YES, I – A – M – D – E – D.’ You repeat the phrase once you’ve spelt out the letters quietly to show you’re aware of which letter the ghost was indicating with. “Sorry, I didn’t think I’d get a response, or one so soon.”

‘F – L – G – U – R – E – D.’

“Can I ask some questions about life after death?” You wait for the cursor to move over the Yes before continuing. “Is there a hell?”

So, it continued. Every day, after work, you’d come home and race up to the attic and spend time talking to your ghostly friend, who still wouldn’t tell you their name. All you knew was they were dead, had been for centuries, were bored, and were something called a bio-exorcist (which took a couple of attempts to spell). You also learnt that any form of parental figure, they hated, and any form of rules and regulations was not something they enjoyed.

You also noticed that they had a weird tendency to refuse certain questions or struggled to spell words correctly when they did. Sure, exorcist, intelligence and February weren’t easy words to spell when you weren’t writing them down, but replacing b’s for d’s and p’s for q’s, c’s for o’s and n’s for m’s. There were a lot of little things you picked up over time made you think perhaps there was more to this story.

So, you changed direction. One evening, you were talking about work and things that annoyed you and a question you thought they’d be fine answering, but the planchette just started to shake. You pause for a second, trying to figure out what was wrong. “Do you want to answer the question?” The cursor slides quickly and heavily to the ‘Yes’, causing you to move your whole body with it before it tentatively returns to the centre of the board. You think for a second as the planchette continues to vibrate with what feels like annoyance. “Can you spell the answer?” The planchette stops moving and everything is still. It’s so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. You wait for thirty seconds before you say “Hello?” and like that, the cursor slowly, tentatively, goes over towards the ‘No’ part of the board followed by a ‘A-L-W-A-Y-S-B-E-E-M-A-B-A-D-S-P-E-L-E-R. “Oh. That’s ok, I’m pretty rubbish without spell check too. Take your time.” Everything stops for a second, the energy that is always humming when you’re up here seems to have dropped to a low throb, and you slowly remove your hands from the planchette as you think.

‘How can I make this easier for them?’ You hum for a second before returning your hands to the board. “Would you prefer yes or no questions?” The planchette slides quickly over to the ‘Yes’ and you smile. “Ok, if something isn’t a yes or no question, I’ll provide answers and you can slide to the numbers to tell me which one is appropriate. Does that work?” Again, ‘Yes’.

Life moves on. It was weird at first, but you got used to asking only yes or no questions and becoming content with that as a response. A few more weeks went by, you slowly began to spend more time talking to the ghost in the attic. It was fascinating, and you were lonely and suspected they were too. Why else would they talk to you night after night after night? You never brought up the idea that perhaps they may have been lonely, but you focused on making sure like they felt like they had a friend.

A few more weeks had passed before you came up with a new idea. As good as it was to make them feel like they weren’t stupid for their spelling, you felt like you were muting them or speaking on their behalf. So, on your Saturday evening as you ate your dinner and you asked a question about if they enjoyed scaring people whenever they got the chance and the planchette moved by its own accord, you stared down at the board for a few minutes in shock. “You can move things WITHOUT me helping?”

‘Yes.’

“Why the fuck do I have to hold it then?” You forget to offer options as you take a breath, hearing the planchette slide across the board. “Its fine, I was just in shock.” You explain, not looking at what the ghost was being said. An idea pings in your head. “With your bad spelling, does it affect your reading or is it easier? One for both are hard, two for reading is easier.”

The planchette wobbles for a second before it slides over between the two. ‘R-E-A-D-I-M-G-I-S-S-T-I-L-L-H-A-R-D.’ It spells out. ‘B-UT-N-O-T-A-S-H-A-R-D-A-S-S-P-E-L-I-M-G.’

You can sense the confusion in the room as you nod, already thinking of a plan. “Have you always struggled with reading and spelling?” ‘A-L-W-A-Y-S-B-U-T-I-N-J-U-S-T-S-T-U-P-I-D’ You you’re your heart break slightly when they call themselves that. “Sweetheart, have you ever heard of the term dyslexia?” ‘No’. “It’s where your brain struggles to recognise letters or sounds, it makes it hard for people to read and write. They often miss letters or get letters mixed up, or sometimes even add letters that aren’t meant to be there.” You explain gently. “I think you may have the same kind my friend has. He reads a lot even though it’s a struggle, but if you get him to spell, he’s absolutely hopeless. Amazing at math, though. Like a walking calculator.” You smile as you get distracted before you shake your head and bring yourself back to the present. “I don’t think you’re stupid, love, I think perhaps your brain just isn’t wired to like letters and words.” You explain as you fiddle with your hands, unsure on where to put them. The planchette doesn’t move, but you can feel the air growing thicker.

‘N-O-T-S-T-U-P-I-D’ – the planchette draws a question mark over the entire board. You shake your head.

“Not stupid at all, pet.” A few seconds pass before the planchette moves over to the ‘Goodbye’ section. You sigh, slightly disappointed that they wanted to leave so soon. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

You ran late to work the next day, replaying the conversation in your head with your resident ghost over and over again as it kept you up later and later into the night. Your plan wasn’t well thought out at this stage, but you could get things started.

You stay late after work to make up for the hour that you missed this morning before rushing to the bookshop, making it there 10 minutes before they closed. You found what you wanted and quickly purchased it before rushing home, making sure to grab something for dinner as you drive home.

The moment you arrived home and placed your bags by the front door, the house felt empty. For the first time since using the Ouija board, the house felt like you were the only one in it. Pulling out the Ouija board, you asked if they were here. Nothing. You put your fingers on the planchette. Nothing again. You call out to them to see if they were there, nothing. You sigh before packing it back up. Perhaps your new-found friend had moved on.

It was a few days before your ghostly friend returned. The house had felt barren the entire time they were gone, you had stopped bringing out the board the day they returned, figuring that they just weren’t going to come back. A loud crash from the living room caused you to run out from the kitchen where you were preparing dinner to see what had happened. On the floor was the Ouija board, set up and ready to go with the planchette moving wildly across the board, so fast you couldn’t keep up.

“Hang on, hang on, hang on.” You rush back upstairs to grab the item you had purchased for them the week prior before rushing back downstairs and putting it next to the board with a satisfying thud. “I got you a dictionary, they had one with pictures which I thought could help.” You explain to where you hoped the ghost was. You put a pen in front of the giant book. “Just…. point I guess to the word you want to say. If you want to try it this way that is, I thought it might be easier for you.”

The air seemed thick as you waited for something to move, the planchette or the book. Suddenly, the cover of the book seemed to gingerly open as the ghost slowly looked for the words he was looking for. ‘IT-IS-EASIER’ they indicated with the pen. You smile as the pages begin to turn in a flurry, clearly excited to be able to communicate with you a bit easier.

So, life continued. The ghost (who you later found out was a man) would follow you from room to room, carrying the pen and the book to indicate different words to you, making comments on nearly everything that he wasn’t able to before, from the shade of paint on your walls (he thought they should be green) to what you were wearing (he was really into you wearing stripes for some reason), he would readily give your opinion on everything. It was weird, but you could feel yourself slowly falling for the now forever talking ghost. The freedom that came with the dictionary meant that your conversations become more…. conversation like. He wasn’t restricted to just yes or no answers, and you weren’t restricted to staying in one room. You found yourself having dinners next to the constantly page flipping book and laughing at his bad jokes and giving some back of your own. You found small doodles on the outside of the dictionary too, his own little crude drawings he did when you weren’t home. It was nice, it felt like some kind of perverse kind of domestic.

It had been months since your initial contact with him, and you still didn’t know his name and, to be honest, it was beginning to bug you. You didn’t say or show your annoyance about not knowing his name, but you figured it was time you knew. So, when you came home that night and had set up your dinner in your usual set up, you finally decided to ask. “Can I know your name?”

It took a minute before your squatter decided to respond. ‘ORION-BRIGHT-STAR’.

“Orion’s brightest star?” You say, almost as a question as you pull out your phone to do a quick Google. “Beetlejuice?” You look up to see a fury of pages flying as he quickly makes his way over to the ‘A’ section of the dictionary.

‘AGAIN’

“Beetlejuice?”

The pen slams back down on the page. ‘AGAIN.’

You hesitate. “Beetlejuice?”

There was a crash, a bang, and way too much smoke that filled the room as bright green lights seemed to radiate from outside your house. You cough and wave your hand to clear the smoke from your mouth when you finally hear it.

“Thanks for that babes, I’ve been wanting you to see me for months now.” You blink before you see him. He was-

Cuter than you were expecting. Shorter too. Not the scary man you had envisioned, but rather an adorable guy dressed in arguably way too many stripes, even though it seemed to suit. The green in his hair was vibrant and his whole being seemed to shake with excitement. For the first time in a long time, you didn’t know what to say.

“What’s wrong babes? Cat got your tongue?” He leans in closer to take a better look at you, but all you could focus on was the bright green of his eyes.

“You’re hotter than I imagined.” You heard yourself say before you turn bright, bright red. The grin on his face widens as he chuckles lowly, sending a shiver up your spine.

“Oh babes, we are going to have so much fun.”

[capribornio]

Happy birthday UT!! I don't have any art as I'd like, but I do have an history to tell.

At the beginning of the year, I started a new job, an administrative position in an hospital. (...Don't ask me how it has been) As my job (used to) be, I had several hours where there was nothing to do. I had downloaded an emulator so I could play through Sega games (my fav), but since it came with other games and EB was on the list, I went "why not".

See, before I played UT, I had never, ever, played a RPG. I had seen playthrougs of OFF and Ib, but I had never played either. But since I had heard so much about Earthbound from being UT main inspo, I decided to give it a chance. The result of that, by the way... Currently replaying it, playing through Eartbound Zero for the first time (I played Mother 1 already, but I wanted to see the translation), overleveling Lucas and Boney so I can go to Tanetane Island with just the two (yes), also overleveling everyone in the Halloween Hack.

So! Eventually, quarantine hit, and now I had even more hours to kill. And I had an idea.

I began then a big project I called "Road To Undertale/Deltarune". The idea was to try to play or watch a playthrough off, depending the case, of every single RPG that influenced UT. (No, I am not rereading Homestuck) Beginning with the Mother series (yes, I know I'm still missing the Dragon Quest series), I watched/played so many RPGs since then. The fun part? I am nowhere near done yet! There's DG, for one, and others that I still have yet to experience.

Another fun fact: the only other RPG esque game I had watched was Super Paper Mario. (It's a platformer with RPG elements) But since it was the only game of that series I had watched, I decided to watch the rest of the series, sans 64, since I could emulate that one (I have since discovered that emulators hate that game. I finally found one that is mostly reliable, but geez). And halfway through playing 64/watching The Thousand Year Door, Nintendo randomly announced "oh yeah! New Paper Mario in three months!" I had to scramble to finish the series before that game came out. So that was fun.

But going back to UT, my point is, I literally wouldn't have discovered so many amazing games without it. So. Thank you, UT, for all of that. And in your honor, today, the day of your anniversary, I begin to watch a new playthrough of a game I had never watched before: Yumme Nikki. (Loving it so far) Cheers for UT, and for every other wonderful RPGs.