#i should not be as insane about these two as I am

[the-togepi-man]

The boy you (and maybe shawn?) have a crush on

Sure, im a little high and he wont see this since he doesn't use tumblr. Dunno if I'll ever get the chance to tell him all this so

I cant speak for Sean, who I knows really enjoys his company but falls for people a lot slower-

But I think he's a great guy. He's gives off this very aloof vibe, but he's incredibly smart and very sharp with his wit and observations. The first time He, Sean, and I hung out together - those two talked about how they listen to NPR and the Economist in the morning. It was goofy but thats when I first noticed myself getting flustered. He cares about his friends and his relationships very much, as do I. SO while polyamours people don't HAVE to all date each other it's insanely important to me that Sean enjoys their company too

He and Sean also have this rapport and bounce off each other so well that it's just hard to not roll your eyes but get caught up in it. He's got this really cute smile, and when you make a jab at him or catch him off guard his opens his mouth with this goofy smile and his cheeks turn bright red. His eyes also twinkle a little when he gets excited. And even though he doesn't like eye contact, if the conversation is important he maintains it to show how much he's listening. Also after he does his hair - a few hours in to the day the very front of it has one curl that drops down on to his forehead and its adorable as all fuck

He's passionate about the things he's interested in, and even more passionate about staying true to himself. It's very clear that he wants to live his life as who he is, and I think that more people should aspire to do. He puts his passions and his friends first and does his absolute best to make sure he sticks to all the plans he makes with them. When i first asked him to make plans with us, I was thinking "ah yeah he might fade away like everyone else" but then the next day he followed up with plans for a happy hour. When I point out things I am really interested in he asks questions and says "oh we will have to watch that some time" or "or ill have to try that." He and Sean inspire me to try new foods and do new things I normally wouldn't. Sean's helped me grow a lot, but when he and Sean both commit to something I start to see how much I was missing out on

Small break from his personality- he's also SUPER hot. Like just tall, gorgeous, great body, hairy chest, great cuddle buddy, beautiful eyes, comforting smile, and from what I recall a good kisser- among other things.

He has a lot of parts to his personality and every time we hang out I feel like a learn more in a good way. Like every time we hang out it's a new discovery. With that said, he's also not high maintenance. I love going out and doing fun stuff with him and Sean, but I also love that we can just grab some drinks, hop on the couch, cuddle up and watch something together or listen to music together. He puts on songs sometimes that remind me of my childhood and sitting around at my grandparents house listening to my family talk while I fell asleep to the music

That might be the hardest part about not saying all this to him, - but he feels like he really fits right in to place with Sean and I, not like I've ever felt before. And of course I've talked to Sean about all this (Because Sean is the fucking BEST- and someone would have to really be awesome to have an impact on both of us). Anyhow, he just seems like such a wonderful person that we'd both fight the standards of society to have in our lives.

So all in all, I am just glad I can be his friend more than anything. Thanks anon for letting me get this out! It felt good to type it since again, dunno if he will ever get to hear me say it- nor would he need to hear it. He can handle his life on his own- I just hope I get to be a supporting member for the rest of it :)

[gunilslaugh]

Not How It's Supposed To Be Pt.2

Goo Gunil Summary: Gunil’s reaction to finding out the truth about you. (non-idol au) WC:~1k Warning:none

part 1

photo not mine credits to owner.

The tension in the room grew tenfold after those words left your mouth. You didn’t have any courage to look at Gunil. You could only look down at your lap. 

“What?" His tone was dead cold. It made you scared to speak, but you knew that you had to. 

“I was sent here undercover to get evidence about the illegal drug distribution you’re doing.” 

“So you’re no better than anyone else,” he states. His words prick your heart. 

“That was supposed to be the plan, but I haven’t been following it. I started to lie to them instead,” you disclosed. You can hear Gunil scoff from beside you. 

“Why should I believe that? Liars aren’t to be trusted.” His tone is harsh. 

“I told them about the shipment going out soon, but that’s it,” you say. 

“You expect me to believe that. You’ve been working here two months, but you’ve only told them about one shipment? Are you sure you didn’t help them break into the warehouse?” He accused you.

“I didn’t know about that until after it happened,” you defended. You found the courage to meet his eye. 

“Oh really?” he asked sarcastically. 

“If I had known I would have warned you!” You raised your voice. Something in Gunil’s demeanor shifts, but he does a good job at hiding it. 

“Why?” he questioned. 

“Cause I care about you and I know you probably won’t believe that either, but it's the whole reason why I’m coming clean. I don’t want to lie to you anymore. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“Get out.” His voice is emotionless. 

“Ok.” You stand up from the couch with shaky legs. You make your way over to the door. “Be sure to change that shipment,” you say before opening the door. You pull the handle of the door and exit Gunil’s office. As soon as the door closes you can hear a bunch of smashing and the sounds of items breaking. Each item that hits the floor feels like a hit to your heart. 

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be at all. Go undercover and get evidence. It wasn’t a complicated plan, but your heart had to go and complicate everything. You were never supposed to care about Gunil. The possibility of him getting hurt shouldn’t phase you at all. Him getting caught was supposed to feel like justice had been served, yet now you’re helping him evade getting caught. What was wrong with you?

Your feet practically drag across the floor as you walk back to your desk. You collected your things and started on your way out of the building. Upon exiting you take one last look at the large building. Eyes trailing up to the window where Gunil’s office would be. A sigh leaves your stressed body. Just forget all about this. You tell yourself. Like it was a dream. None of it ever happened. You don’t know who Gunil is. You tear your eyes away from the window and turn your back. Leaving it all behind. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean you’re done? Did Gunil find out? Did he threaten you?” Your very confused and frustrated partner interrogated you. 

“I just don’t want to do this anymore ok? I’m not cut out for being undercover. I can’t handle the lying. I don’t-” Want to be the kind of person Gunil hates the most. Wait, no, you weren’t supposed to think about him anymore. You left. It’s over now. It’s none of your concern. He’s none of your concern. “I’m done. Let’s pretend we never knew one another,” you say.

“Y/n you can’t be done. This is too sudden. You were fine last week. What happened? If he threatened you you can tell me. I’ll help you,” your partner tells you. 

“He didn’t threaten me,” you tell them. 

“Then what is it?” they asked.

“I told him!” You confessed. 

“Y-you what!”

“I told him! I told him that I was sent to work there undercover,” you revealed. 

“Are you crazy! Why? Why would you?” Your partner looked at you like you were insane. 

“I guess I am. I don’t really understand it either, but the more time I spent with him. The more I couldn’t lie to him.”

“So what, you fell in love with him?” they scoffed. 

“I don’t think you could call it love, but I do care about him,” you confess. 

“You really have lost your mind. You know what kind of person he is. His drugs are killing people y/n. How could you fall for someone like that!”

“I don’t know! But that’s why I’m done. I don’t want anything to do with this anymore.” 

“How much did you tell him about us?” Your partner looks at you with a look of betrayal, it stabs you.

“Just that I told you about the shipment and that I know it was you who broke into the warehouse, but I never revealed anything about your identity or anything else,” you state. 

“I guess you have some sense left in you. You’re right I think it’s best that you aren’t involved anymore. Let’s part ways here.” 

“Ok, that’s what I was trying to do anyway,” you say. Your partner practically stormed out of your place after that. You somehow managed to feel worse than you already did, but another part of you felt a bit better. It felt like you could now truly put all of this mess behind you. You could move on with your life and act like it never happened. The storm was over. All you had to do now was pick yourself up from the aftermath. 

Later that night as you were getting ready for bed there was a knock on your door. Your brows knitted in confusion as you walked over to the door of your apartment. You certainly weren’t expecting anyone. 

“Who is it?” you asked. 

“Open the door,” the voice on the other side says. It was a voice you recognized. You twisted the handle and opened the door. 

“Gunil.”

part 1

Taglist: @purplelady85 @gingerjunhan @chewednails @ezlynkisses @mon2sunjinsuver @mxlly143

[neverevan]

This has been on my mind (obviously with everything that's been happening) and I'm curious if I'm alone in it. Do you sometimes think maybe they missed the window with buddie? That it should have happened in season 4 and maybe now they're trying to tell us it's too late? They keep digging the hole deeper for eddie, with shannon being the "the love of his life" he'll never get over and I just wonder if it'll ever make sense again in a way that's not a "consolation" because that would be unfair

so much to unpack here and I doubt you'll like my answer but I'm behind on asks anyway so why the hell not.

so here's the thing.

I am so SO happy that they didn't do buddie in season 4. a rushed season affected by covid with literally one episode lead-up? if we lean into the idea that the shooting/will arc was supposed to be that, that is.

(but mind you that has never been said or confirmed, they floated a bi Buck storyline that got shut down, at which stage we don't even know, could possibly have been before even having a script written for it and way before they even came up with the shooting arc itself.)

but if we lean into that then I would've found it lackluster, personally. I know not everyone holds the same opinions and that's totally fine.

but having two characters who have previously only ever dated and talked about women* suddenly kiss and start dating, without coming out, self-realisation, any other preamble aside from "you almost died/I almost died" which isn't exactly a new predicament for either of these characters...

(*in Buck's case the bi crumbs were huge and I always felt that it could've been a pretty natural progression if they just let us know that actually, Buck was out this whole time it just didn't come up on screen lmao but in all seriousness from a general audience standpoint? having both of them suddenly be together? even though, we had a lot of subtext, I just doubt it would've worked as well as it could work now.)

I mean sure, it might've been just the start and then they could've done a bit more background work for it in season 5, but even if Fox didn't shut it down (again, just a simple bi Buck storyline, not even two main characters on the show suddenly being in a queer relationship or leading up to it at the very least) the risk of not getting renewed for season 5 would've been higher than ever, so for them to leave it hanging at the end of the season would've been unlikely imo.

just to reiterate before moving on: all of the above is based on speculation and what ifs.

and about buddie in this current climate, well... I talked about this extensively so just to keep it short; though I'm more than content if not, I still believe that buddie will become canon eventually.

and ngl I find it kinda frustrating how little faith some of you have in the writing of the show when this season proved more than anything that they are finally back on focusing on the characters and actually have ideas about where to take them instead of having every single one of them running around in circles.

sure, some of the storylines are more than bonkers, but this is 911 and that trend started in season 1, so if you don't like that, then maybe this isn't the show for you. because this season with all the insanity and heartbreak was and is so far, quintessential 911.

both Buck and Eddie are well established, complex characters and they deserve to be taken on a narrative journey separately and together if buddie should happen. yeah, clearly neither character is in a place right now, but what's the rush?

we have at least one more full season ahead of us, that could be more than enough time to take them there.

and I know that anytime I say this there are at least ten people in the notes saying that we had 6 years of lead-up, so it wouldn't be rushed, but I can't help but disagree.

Eddie still has no idea how to be in a relationship and actually be in it. yeah, sure, he and Buck have been playing house for years, but the fact that neither of them seem to recognise that is a big issue on its own. and Buck, for the first time since Abby, is in a good place romantically. like the ship or not, it's canon that he's more content and happy than ever and everyone around him thinks so too.

now, we don't know how long this relationship will last and if/when it'll end and why. but if Buck got the chance to discover this part of himself without trauma and significant pain, with the people around him being supportive and patient, then I don't want Eddie thrown in there with a halfhearted realisation-to-kiss-or-confession within one episode either.

I have trust that if buddie is about to happen, it'll be handled well and in no way, shape or form would it be a consolation prize — especially because Tim is no longer bending over for the bullying of the fans and just goes by his own rules and only gives as much as he wants to. as he should.

honestly, this whole "gimme and gimme now" attitude is so stupid. and frankly, the notion that a popular queer ship would actually have a real chance to go canon has just relatively recently became a thing and now so many people almost feel entitled to it, which then spoils their experience with what's actually going on as a whole.

if your enjoyment of the show is solely dependent on a ship becoming canon? then maybe watch something else, because you're just setting yourself up for heartache, one way or another.

[mcyt-rarepair-tournament]

Karlliam textposts pt. 2

Back by popular demand! (Me)

+ Bonus:

[babydarkstar]

honestly no wonder harrow forced ianthe to lobotomize her so she could save gideon. listen…LISTEN…if i was a secret-war-crime cult nunlet princess worshipped by my entire planet and the only person that (barely) kept me in check was my childhood nemesis—a butch a year older than me, towering over me in stature and physical prowess, and so hot it made my teeth hurt from how hard my jaw clenched in her presence, who wielded a two-handed seven-foot sword and had irritatingly huge biceps and told very lewd stupid jokes and also learned how to wield an entirely new weapon and be my bodyguard with startling accuracy in three months—only to have us finally learn to trust each other because we got invited to a magic murder mystery and then before the bubble burst i spilled the worst secret about myself that i was born because my parents murdered an entire generation and tried to Kill Her along with them and she just wouldnt die, and i told her this expecting a swift death i believed i deserved, only for her to fucking cradle me in her big butch arms and kiss me on my forehead with her soft butch mouth and just. forgive me for a shameful weight ive carried my entire life and then MAKE AN ACTUAL NECRO/CAV VOW with me despite every evil thing i have done to her……to have her tell me, in the end, bleeding and broken after putting up the most beautiful and glorious fight of her life, that she understands purpose and she understands duty and she knows loyalty more fiercely than ever now, that she knows who she is to me, that there is no her without me….to have her backed into a corner and make the ultimate sacrifice…..for me…..to recite scriptural wedding vows of eternity to me in her last wisps of soul-consciousness…..if i thought there was even a snowflake’s chance in the pyre that i could save her by turning myself into her very own locked tomb, i’d be begging ianthe tridentweirdius to crack my skull open and turn me to mush too, goddamn. i understand you harrowhark girl you don’t have to explain a thing to me. god said you couldn’t undo the lyctor’s bond bc it’d kill you. you told god and his angels that not even a lyctor’s bond could outshine the power of female spite and lesbianism and they didn’t listen. they didn’t believe you. but i heard you loud and clear and i was 17 and hormonal and hopelessly romantic not too long ago unlike those fucking dinosaurs and i’m saying it’s valid it’s what i would have done and really everyone should be thanking you for not being worse and more wretched about it, all things considered

[uncanny-tranny]

I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.

If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!

[beanghostprincess]

I can't believe I just had to explain my last Zolusan (more Lusan/Sanlu than anything but yeah) fic to somebody because they said it was normalizing unhealthy behavior when it comes to starting poly relationships. As if the monster trio would talk things out like normal people. Seriously.

Please NEVER leave a comment like this on a fanfic. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it. I am not here to educate people!! I am not your parents!! This is a fanfic site!! Don't expect me to write a manual on how to have a poly relationship, especially when it would be out of character for the main couple.

I'm gonna leave the link to the fic here and what I told them about it because now I am extremely anxious other people won't get what I want to express with this fic and I feel the need to share my thoughts:

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

Y'know, when it comes to ships with similar dynamics to Goosepowers I normally don't like adding more characters to it(with the exception of *occasionally* adding Wander to Deathglare or adding mE TO FIZZMODEUS PLS JUST GIVE ME A CHAN-), but like Matthew x Gideon x Julie is actually really good. Dont know if I like it as much as just Gideon x Julie on its own but still its so fuckin good-

[shipsarebeautiful]

Quick disclaimer, I’m going to talk about an NSFW topic, so if you’re not into that please scroll away now!

But, with that out of the way, here’s my Thoughts on a Thing. So, call me crazy, but I’ve been thinking about this topic for a while and after recent events I’ve come to a logical conclusion.

SHMK should, and I cannot stress enough how genuinely I mean this, have gay sex for plot reasons. Here me out!

Shu has IMMENSE issues with repression, and he always has done because of the environment he was raised in, and while he’s worked through a fair amount of those issues by now one glaring thing that still remains is how averse he is to anything sexual. There’s an entire story dedicated to exploring this aspect of his character (Astrae’s Atelier)! One part of that story is that someone from his school in Paris who is distinctly not averse to sexual stuff at all becomes very interested in Shu, to the point where they leave drawings of nude models and even porn magazines in his room to try and convince him that sexual things are normal (surprise surprise, it doesn’t really work). Kuro even finds out about this and brings it’s up again later on in the timeline, to which Shu is still clearly uncomfortable with it.

Mika on the other hand isn’t sexually repressed at all, much like the fan from Paris, and we know how openly horny he is all the time. But above his honrniess is his absolute loyalty. He would never do anything to harm Shu and would do everything to protect him and make him happy, recently including even digging up a grave to confirm or deny the reality of a story that Mika knew Shu wouldn’t like the ending of. He also still really struggles with comprehending how important he is to Shu, being willing to sacrifice himself in every way possible for the sake of Shu’s happiness without realising how that self-sacrificial nature is exactly what’s hurting Shu, and is incredibly insecure about himself and his abilities.

Them having sex is, I believe, genuinely going to be SO helpful for both of them. Because with the way Shu is Mika would be forced to realise how important he is to Shu since there’s no way he would do such an act with just anyone, and Shu would have to realise that sex isn’t the shameful act he’s always thought it to be and can be just another way to show someone how much you love them. On top of that, the act itself is inherently supposed to be one of mutual pleasure, it puts them on completely equal playing fields no matter how much they may want to value the other more than themselves.

Both of these characters are adults at this point in the timeline so it wouldn’t exactly be taboo to talk about such a thing, especially since sexual themes have come up in Enstars before though they’ve never truly been explored. And on top of that, since it’s now implied that they’re canonically together, it’s the type of topic that would be completely natural to explore with these two since sex is a normal thing in most romantic relationships.

And I’m saying all this as an asexual btw, so it’s not as if I’m just looking for excuses to sexualise the two because that’s not what this is about at all. I just whole-heartedly believe that it would actually be beneficial both to their relationship and to their personal development, and that this is something that can and frankly, in my opinion, should be explored in their future stories.

I SWEAR I’M NOT DELUSIONAL HERE, IT ALL MAKES SENSE!

[moregraceful]

i made what was a huge medical decision today that has been received very badly by my family and i feel absolutely nothing but pure freedom and joy about it. the thing i'm really fixated on rn is when should i post this fic i just finished

[keymintt]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! You got the mural job, that's amazing news =D

THANK YOU!!! i've haven't quite done anythin like this before BUT i have enough experience from other projects to where it's not a super super daunting thing. like yeah it's Big and that'll have it's challenges but i'm excited !! :>

i don't know if i can show my proposal sketch off else i'd put it here but i will certainly show the finished mural off here once it's done >:3

[compacflt]

I am sad for your 'the end of the top gun era' that will come. Is there any possibility that even when you finish with all your ideas, someday you will still write icemav? Or are you done shipping icemav after everything is said?

i will never stop shipping or caring about icemav, they are my homeboys & my bffs

i just have other real world writing obligations i need to focus on once i post my extras (soon) 😞 have to start dedicating myself to my creative writing thesis & journalism work fully

Yeah if i have other ideas/motivation to finish old ideas i will definitely do that! It’s not goodbye forever

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

y'all i promise i was GOING to brainrot about moth but then genshin dropped the teaser for the Arlecchino animated short and now my head is full of nothing but Father

[finelythreadedsky]

having a latin vowel crisis

[theladyyavilee]

what do we need him for? || inspired by this post by @evandiaz​​ (because I saw that post and my brain short circuited a little bit and I realized that these two scenes would actually look really nice together)

[Image Description in alt text]

[psycho-mocha]

i should not be allowed to have feelings