#i sketched this out last year & just got around to like. actually finishing it now

[fuckinart]

(read left to right)

in the woods, in the mountains, is a good place to begin

(FOtPoD progress & update info under the cut)

so! turns out FOtPoD is going to be much longer than originally planned! I am currently writing 8 more parts for it (40 chapters T-T). this fic/AU has consumed my life. I'm also writing original series (my comics Black Dog & DIM), but those are on the backburner while I finish FOtPoD.

each part will be posted individually, at 5 chapters each, to make the newly added parts easier deal with. I am the world's slowest writer, but also life has been happening continuously so that should probably be taken into consideration. once the first 8 parts are finished, I will start posting.

not gonna lie, I'm not sure what I'm going to do once FOtPoD is finished. I've been absorbed in this world for years. my playlist is 8 hours long. maybe I'll print it out & put it on my bookshelf.

[neil-gaiman]

Hi Mr. Gaiman,

As an accomplished author with several books under his belt, how do you know that a story is a dud for lack of a better word? I have a million ideas bouncing around inside my head at all times, and while I consider them good ideas worth pursuing, how am I sure they will make a good story?

I ask this because I have been dwelling on something one of my professors said last semester. He held a seminar on poetry and got to the topic of fiction writing, where he stated that he had just recently finished a story he had rewritten several times over the course of multiple years. Now I myself write as a hobby with a faint imagining that someone might see it in the future, and I have written a dud or two, where the plot was poorly formed and the ideas behind it just had a flaw somewhere in the base concept. Perhaps this is my youth and amateurity speaking, but I was under the impression that given enough time and care, any story could recover from that stage so long as it had not been completed yet. Ideas would need to be reworked, concepts retooled, characters redrawn, but the very basic idea could still survive in a different format.

My professor disagreed, stating that he has destroyed 400-500 page novels that he has written before upon realizing said fatal flaw. He stated that the story was in a state that it could not recover from, and that many authors encounter ideas that seem good at the time, but stink later on to such a degree that the basic premise must be thrown out. This seems like a tremendous loss of work to me. As writing is an art form, it feels somewhat similar to destroying practice sketches and 'meh' oil paintings that showcase the artist's progress. An idea that stinks today might be able to work from a different angle later on in my opinion.

I suppose after rambling my question is now this: are some ideas and concepts just not worth pursuing? Are some story concepts flawed from the get-go and impossible to save, and is there a way to tell that before writing the whole thing? Is it even possible to waste that time as you're getting in practice for the next tale?This isn't something I ever really thought about before being told in sure tones that this is how things work by someone with a degree is this, so I figured I'd ask the professional author for a second opinion. Apologies for the length of the message, especially if this is one you've received before.

I have things that have stalled and a few stories that, when they were done, went to the box in the attic rather than to anyone who could publish them (there's a whole novel there I wrote when I was 21). But mostly because I was writing serial comics, failure was not an option, and if something did fail it had done it in public for everyone to see. And I learned that some things I thought were failures had actually worked really well.

Some people are afraid of failure. Some people are afraid of success, which can also be a good reason for junking books and never showing them to anyone. As long as you pronounce them irretrievably flawed and show them to nobody, you will never be judged for them or have to deal with either success or failure.

[cheshiresense]

[From Here]

Dithered over which pov to write next, figured I’d try Yuzu.

-0-

When Yuzu gets a phone call from Ichigo that they would be having two guests for dinner tonight, she is delighted. In all the years she’s known him, her brother has only ever introduced one person to them as something of a friend. Mizuiro is half a sibling at this point, trusted enough to be around them even when Ichigo isn’t, but before him, and after him, nobody else has ever caught Ichigo’s eye enough to warrant an actual invitation to dine with their family.

“They’re related to ghost stuff,” Ichigo adds bluntly, and Yuzu understands that to mean that these two will at least be tougher than the average yakuza on the street, even if they can’t match up to her brother.

“I understand!” She chirps back cheerfully. “I’ll let Karin know. I can’t wait to meet them!”

Then she hangs up, rolls up her sleeves, and gets to work in the kitchen. No guests of her brother’s will ever accuse them of being ungracious hosts on her watch.

(Karin comes home from soccer practice half an hour later. She laughs, as Yuzu does, when Yuzu tells her of their impending guests.)

-0-

Two hours later, Yuzu is putting the finishing touches on the meal when the sound of the door being unlocked carries through the apartment.

"Welcome home, Onii-chan!" She calls out, plating the last dish before carrying it over to the dining table. "Dinner's ready!"

She can hear Karin leaving their bedroom and coming down the hall on deliberately heavy footsteps. She appears just as Ichigo comes in from the front, Mizuiro a step behind him, with two men bringing up the rear, vaguely middle-aged at first glance, younger at the second, and then just ageless the more you stare.

They're tall, is Yuzu's first thought, but everybody's tall from her perspective. Still, they're taller than Ichigo, especially the one in the very back, and bigger too, even if they've got that same elegant dancer's gait her brother walks with, the one that whispers danger in the hindbrain even to those who don't know what to look for. They're also both blond, one darker than the other, but both with hair that nearly reach their shoulders. One wears modern clothing, the other more traditional, and one is empty-handed while the other carries a cane, but both of them take in the whole room in one calculating sweep that misses nothing. And they're both already smiling politely as they walk in, one with a harmless playful edge, the other with a harmless mysterious air, but both as fake as each other.

Yuzu exchanges a glance with Karin just to check she's not seeing things. Karin gives her the eyebrows that means she's noticed too.

Mizuiro had given off a far less dangerous aura when Ichigo had first brought him home. And he still feels much less threatening than these men now, no matter how much Guest One and Guest Two are probably trying to play it down. But back then, Mizuiro had also come in with sharp eyes and a guileless skin-deep smile, and that at least is exactly the same.

Their big brother sure does have a type. Yuzu sometimes wonders if Ichigo goes out and picks the most suspicious and unsettling people he can find to entertain him, or if he just somehow attracts them with his innate charm.

"My sisters, Karin, and Yuzu," Ichigo introduces without suspense, then jabs a thumb at Mizuiro. "And Mizuiro lives next door but he eats with us when we're here."

Then he gestures at the two men. "This is Hirako Shinji and Urahara Kisuke." He pauses for a brief half-second, and his eyes flash gold in Yuzu's, and Karin's, direction. "Hirako's a bit like me." He pauses again, and a funny half-smile hitches at one corner of his mouth. "They both are actually."

He says nothing else, so Yuzu takes that as her cue to sketch a neat half-bow paired with a bright smile. "Hello! It's nice to meet you!"

Beside her, Karin parrots the motion, if in a more perfunctory manner, but they weren't raised in a cave, so they know how to be courteous.

The men murmur back their own greetings even as their gazes shift back and forth between them and their brother like they're trying to pick up on a second unspoken conversation, but it's not as if there's anything for them to hear either way.

It's just that the introduction was short, names and little else, so Yuzu knows that they're equally untrustworthy, which makes sense because Ichigo couldn't have known them for more than a week or two. But the little else he'd tacked on had been a sign as well— not just that they're like him in some ways, in different ways, but also that Ichigo likes Hirako more than Urahara. Nevertheless, the fact that he'd brought them here at all means that they're interesting enough to make them both tolerable.

Yuzu understands, as does Karin, but they give no indication of it as everyone shuffles around to wash their hands, and Yuzu quickly scoops out a bowl of rice each for everyone in attendance.

"Onii-chan never invites anybody over, so I made a lot of extra food today," Yuzu tells them happily. "Please eat as much as you want!"

"Everythin' looks delicious," The darker blond, Hirako, grins at her, and this time, the expression seems more genuine. At the very least, it gives her a warmer feeling than the other blond, Urahara, who also smiles and trills agreement but radiates more distance than an overseas phone call.

Everyone settles around the dining table, although Mizuiro spares a moment to pull an exaggerated moue of aggrievement. "Never invites anybody over? Have I been forgotten, Yuzu-chan?"

Karin rolls her eyes while Yuzu giggles merrily. "You don't count, Mizuiro-nii-chan. You already eat with us almost every day anyway."

Mizuiro drops the act in favour of a smirk, though he looks pleased too, to be counted as family, as if the novelty of it still hasn't worn off. To be fair, it had taken a whole six months before Ichigo had been willing to leave him in the same vicinity as Yuzu and Karin on their own, and Yuzu knows that being trusted like that by her brother is no small feat.

Conversation drops as everybody begins digging in, and Yuzu lets her gaze drift casually over to their guests as they too pick up their bowls and chopsticks.

It's Urahara she lingers on first because he's the one who lifts his bowl to his mouth, only to stop at the last second, chopsticks poised. His expression doesn't really change, and the lapse only lasts a fraction of a second before he's moving again, smoothly pretending to eat a mouthful before lowering his bowl again, chewing and swallowing thin air masterfully. Even Yuzu only spots it because she's been watching the whole time from behind lowered eyelashes as she grabs some eggplant from one of the vegetable dishes.

She lets her gaze drop completely when she feels the man's eyes move from the food to her and then to Ichigo. Still, she can't quite suppress a pout, although she supposes she can't be too disappointed either since Hirako at least eats a good five bites of his rice before suddenly stiffening, glancing down sharply even as his eyes flicker with the same burnished gold colour that her brother possesses.

Then he looks up, looks at Urahara, looks at her, looks long at Ichigo, and then-

-he laughs. It's a bark of one that echoes with a snarl, except the mirth in it is also entirely genuine, enough for Yuzu to glance up with startled eyes. But the rest of the table does as well, so at least she doesn't stand out. Of course, that doesn't prevent Hirako from grinning at her, all teeth, with a bite that would feel like claws at her throat if not for the fact that it's coloured by something even warmer than when he'd complimented her spread. Appreciation, maybe.

"Is it the rice?" He muses candidly, and then actually eats another bite. "Nah, can't be, it was from the same cooker. It's the bowl, right? Not bad, I can't smell or taste anythin'."

Yuzu blinks and shares another look with Karin, who looks largely bored by the proceedings and hasn't stopped eating. Soccer practice always makes her hungry. But she also shrugs in agreement that Hirako is being sincere, so Yuzu relaxes and looks at her brother next.

Ichigo also hasn't stopped eating, although he isn't shovelling food into his mouth as speedily as Karin is. He swallows, glances leisurely at their guests, then looks back at her. "Not bad. Nothing in the food though?"

Yuzu frowns. "It's the first time you've invited them over, Onii-chan. I didn't want to scare them off."

Also, they're tolerable, and Ichigo even likes one of them, so she'd chosen the mildly poisoned bowls over the severely poisoned ones.

Ichigo just looks amused. "They don't scare easily."

Yuzu pouts again before glancing at their two guests, who are both watching them openly now. Hirako still looks like he's just heard a grand joke, while Urahara seems more than a little bemused, but neither of them feels angry.

Her big brother really is an excellent judge of character.

"You really didn't notice anything at all?" Yuzu asks in earnest, peering at Hirako before squinting at Urahara. "Then how come he did? And did you already shake the poison off?"

Hirako snorts and reaches for the communal chopsticks to swipe another chicken wing. "My... constitution's pretty good at negatin' toxins. And Kisuke's trained for this sort of thing."

Trained? Yuzu stares wide-eyed at Urahara long enough for the man to stop exuding caution and start manifesting awkwardness, which isn't what she wants so she hastily blurts out, "Are you really? So you can identify any poison? But the one I made is an original, so you shouldn't have come across it before."

Urahara stares back at her for a long blank-faced moment, not even bothering to stitch on a smile anymore, and like this, he matches the flat undercurrent of his emotions much better, like ice over water, except the water is the ocean and you don't know how deep it goes or what's waiting underneath.

"Ah," The man finally says, lifting a hand to his hat for a moment and pressing down on it so that his eyes are hidden. Then he looks up again and eyes her like he's seeing her for the first time and is pleasantly surprised by what he's found. "I may not know the exact poison, but I could still tell there was something off. Also, it's plant-based, isn't it?"

He pauses, and then, just like Hirako, he picks up his rice bowl again and swallows a decent mouthful, chewing almost thoughtfully beforehand. "And refined with reiatsu. That's actually more difficult to hide from me. Your technique is clumsy too. Give me an hour and I could probably also tell you the strains you crossed to make it. For now, at the very least, I can say there's definitely wisteria in this."

Yuzu is rendered speechless for a full five seconds. And then she snaps out of it and rounds on her brother with the best puppy eyes in her arsenal. She knows they don't actually work, but Ichigo tends to give in to her when she pulls them out anyway because it means she really wants something. "Onii-chan, you'll invite them back again, won't you? Urahara-san is amazing! I could learn so much if he teaches me!"

Ichigo's eyebrows go up for a moment in a way that speaks of indulgence, but he also glances lazily at Urahara before going back to his food. "Ask him yourself."

Yuzu pulls up short, always slightly stunned whenever her brother refuses her, even when it's not a direct refusal. But generally speaking, if she or Karin wants something enough to ask for it, Ichigo has always been the sort to simply make it happen for them. The only times he's ever refused is when he'd thought it too unnecessary - Karin really shouldn't have asked for a flamethrower for her birthday, it's unwieldy and she can't hide it in her backpack, plus they know how to make Molotov cocktails already anyway, which is almost the same thing - or when he'd considered it important for them to get what they want on their own, usually because it would make for a useful life skill in the future.

Never has it been because of a person.

But for the first time ever, this situation seems to have fallen into that exact category, which... She looks back at Urahara with more curiosity than before. For someone Ichigo only finds tolerable, something about this man has... impressed him? Is that what's going on here? Not even Mizuiro has ever succeeded in that before, so for once, Yuzu has no precedent to draw from.

Well, that doesn't matter right now. The important thing is that Urahara will probably remain in her big brother's life for some time to come, which means-

"Urahara-san!" She shoots to her feet, chair clattering back with the force of it as she bows. "Please teach me more about poisons! It's okay if it's just a little bit, whenever you have time. I promise I'll work hard! And of course, I can pay for the lessons!"

She does some mental tallying. There's a bake sale coming up for her club, and the venue they've chosen is close enough to the Karakura border to attract people from the neighbouring town. If she plays her cards right, some thugs from nearby yakuza groups probably wouldn't mind donating to her cause. Pretty little girls offering pretty little cakes are bound to reel in at least a few idiots.

Of course, she'll have to ask Ichigo to get rid of them afterwards. It's better not to risk putting anything too lethal into a school bake sale, just in case of an accident, so she'll have to stick with upset stomachs at most. Once they've paid up, Ichigo can make them disappear. Those upset stomachs can get really gross, and blood and guts aren't much better if cleanup gets messy, so Yuzu would rather not deal with that part.

Unlike her siblings who don't mind it, Yuzu is unfortunately something of a clean freak. Karin always taunts her about having inherited their father's delicate constitution, and Yuzu can't even refute it, no matter how insulted she feels. It's seriously unfair because she can gut a fish in the kitchen no problem, but human intestines make her gag.

"I-" Urahara starts, jolting her out of her thoughts. The man looks taken aback all over again, and like he's missed a step somewhere. He even feels a bit nervous as he whips out a paper fan of all things, one that hides half his face from view. His gaze bounces between her and her brother, emitting enough anxious vibes that Yuzu suddenly wants to give him an emotional support dog or something. "I'm not sure I would be the... best choice for this sort of thing, Kurosaki-san."

Yuzu is unsure who he's talking to, but just in case it's her, she rearranges her face into the most kicked puppy look of disappointment she's capable of. "Why not? You know your poisons, and it looks like it'll be hard for me to kill you. Onii-chan can only teach me so much, it's not really his area, so I've only been able to trial-and-error it for months now. But I'm a quick learner, and I swear I'll listen to anything you're willing to teach me. Or, is it the money? Just name your price."

Even if she can't come up with it all on her own, she's certain Ichigo will help pay the rest. Honestly, even if it's within her budget, he'll just pour the same amount she shells out back into her bank account. The only reason they have to go in a big circle like this is because Ichigo wants them to learn how to handle money responsibly.

"That's not-" Urahara stops again, then snaps his fan shut, and then all of a sudden, it's like a wall comes up, and everything about him shuts down. He straightens, features as unreadable as the rest of him, and then he turns to Ichigo so that it's unmistakeable who he's talking to this time. "Kurosaki-san, is this really alright?"

Ichigo's basically finished eating at this point. Karin gets up for another bowl of rice. Mizuiro watches them like he's binging one of his romance dramas. And Hirako has his head propped up against one loose fist, eyes half-lidded but intent.

In response, Ichigo only shrugs. "I mean, you can say no. But like she said, I can't teach her much more than I already have, and it's not like she's gonna find a better teacher than you at this point, right?"

"And where did you learn it from?" Urahara asks, grey eyes riveted on Ichigo with the sort of focus that feels like he might've forgotten anyone else even exists.

Ichigo actually quirks a smile, sardonically amused. "Same place I learned everything else."

He doesn't expand on it, keeping the conversation on track instead, much to Yuzu's delight. "Anyway, if you're asking for permission, obviously it's a yes. I wouldn't have let her ask in the first place if I wasn't okay with it. And she's smart. You could do worse for a part-time student."

Urahara remains motionless and unblinking for another few seconds. "...Was this why you invited us for dinner?"

Ichigo shrugs again. "Not really. It's not like I knew you knew poisons. I just thought my sisters should meet you, that's all."

"And why's that?" Hirako interjects, also watching Ichigo with gleaming eyes that never waver. "Cuz ya don't seem the type to let jus' anyone get close to your nearest and dearest."

Ichigo turns to him, and his eyes are fond in a way they very rarely are when aimed at anyone not Yuzu or Karin or Mizuiro. It's not quite on the same level, but it does make it even more obvious that Hirako has her brother's favour.

"I thought it'd be good if they knew a few Shinigami," Ichigo says offhandedly, although judging by the slight stir of surprise from both guests, they hadn't expected he would just come out and say it. Or perhaps they're surprised he's talking about it in front of Yuzu and Karin and Mizuiro? But they're family. Yuzu doesn't know everything about Ichigo, but that's just because she doesn't want to know that much about her brother's life, not because Ichigo wouldn't tell her if she or Karin asks.

"You seem like you might bring trouble to my doorstep one day," Ichigo says, somewhat out of the blue, and all at once, Urahara tugs at his hat again just as Yuzu gets a sense of shifty-eyed discomfort all but waving support lights over the man's head. Hirako sort of feels the same, but in a less... personal way.

So whatever's going on, Urahara's probably the one in charge.

Ichigo seems to sense it too, or he's long guessed it considering his not great feelings for Urahara. Either way, he scoffs, and the light in his eyes says he's annoyed, but not annoyed enough to do something permanent about it. Yet. "Yeah, that's what I thought. So I figured it's better for you to know who you should do your very best to protect if shit goes down around them, because otherwise, I might not even feel like hearing you out. Understand?"

Hirako glances at Yuzu, at Karin, even at Mizuiro, then he turns back to Ichigo, solemn in a way Yuzu hasn't seen since they met, "I understand."

It sounds like a promise.

Ichigo hums, satisfied. Neither of them prods at Urahara for an answer, and Urahara doesn't give one. He feels flat again, like a scrap of paper.

"So like I said," Ichigo continues briskly. "If you wanna teach her, knock yourself out. You can send me the bill."

Yuzu beams at him. Looks like she won't have to waste any cakes.

From his seat, Urahara heaves a sigh, and now he just seems tired and still a bit baffled, but he also finally looks at her again like he's assessing her potential. Yuzu straightens and adopts her best imploring face.

This of all things makes Urahara's mouth twitch, and he even feels amused, except it's the sort of amusement that's all wrapped up in razor-wire mockery. That bit doesn't show on his face of course. Still, Yuzu's fingers suddenly itch with the urge to swap out his bowl with the other one after all.

"So clumsy," The man muses, one finger tapping at the cane leaning against his chair. "...Very well, I suppose I may have a few things I can impart to a budding... chemistry enthusiast. On one condition however. And I don't want money."

He looks at Ichigo again, except he doesn't say anything. Ichigo seems to understand anyway because a grin pulls at his lips, a touch too savage to fit on a human face, and aimed at anyone else, Yuzu knows they wouldn't even have time to pick out a coffin.

Urahara seems to be an exception. It makes Yuzu wonder if he's just that strong, certain in his ability to forever remain stronger than her brother, or if he's simply gambling with his life, and it's Ichigo instead who's decided to be uncharacteristically patient.

She hopes it's not the former, because she has no faith in anyone who thinks themselves capable of staying ahead of her brother forever. But if it's the latter, then maybe she'll have enough time to wheedle out everything Urahara knows of poisons before Ichigo snaps and kills him.

"That seems a bit unbalanced," Ichigo remarks.

Urahara inclines his head, and this time, his voice rings of the same vow that had reverberated in Hirako's earlier. "Upon my blade, my life before your family's, should the worst come to pass."

Ichigo laughs, soft and without humour. "This trouble must be something else. That, or you don’t think your life’s worth all that much. But fine. We'll hash it out tomorrow. Keep your word, and I might even go along with whatever you and your people have been cooking up. But Yuzu gets to bug you for lessons any day of the week from now on."

And once again, between one breath and the next, Urahara trades the gravity for the false affability from before.

It's like watching a performance, Yuzu thinks.

She glances at her brother and watches him watch Urahara, still annoyed, still a bit like he could put a knife through the other's ribs if it wouldn't mean the hassle of mopping blood off the floor.

Ichigo likes Hirako. Yuzu does too, even though they just met not even half an hour ago. There's something about him that makes him approachable and friendly despite the very obvious beast lurking beneath his skin. But that too might be part of the charm because Yuzu's long used to the same thing from her brother. Knowing even just that much, it's not a shock that Ichigo has clicked with him - a fellow monster - in a way he never has even with Mizuiro.

But Urahara is different. Urahara is treated with tolerance only, with irritation and discontent and even derision, on and off. But Yuzu knows that her brother has killed people for a whole lot less than that, and yet here Urahara sits at their family's table while Ichigo looks at him from time to time, tolerant and irritated and discontent and derisive, and he can't stop looking.

She wonders if even her brother is aware of what he's doing.

"I'll leave my number," The man offers, complete with a genial smile. "And you may stop by my shop anytime. Allow me a few days, and I shall have some reading material organized for you."

Yuzu perks up, nods, and finally sits back down, then gets up again to fetch two extra bowls of rice, this time clean of any poison. Hirako snickers but accepts his with a nod. Urahara does the same, with that same winning smile, and then dinner restarts, this time uninterrupted.

Well, who cares if Ichigo is aware or not? He’ll figure it out sooner or later. And besides, it’s all the same in the end— people who push her brother too far will face the consequences, and those who don't will not. That's just the simple truth of it.

But in the meantime, Urahara at least won't be going anywhere, which means Yuzu can finally get some guidance for one of her favourite hobbies, and honestly, that's all she really cares about.

[hazybisou]

ONE CHANCE

fic

reader x mark estapa

summary: for weeks, mark has been trying to get y/n to go out with him but he always got a ‘no’. that all changes one night when she admits she’s developed feelings for him after a game.

a/n: literally i got like four drafts rn so have patience with your girl here

you had been sitting in the same spot for 43 minutes and 32 seconds but who’s counting? obviously, you were. as much as you enjoyed your intro to business course, you were tired and were just yearning to go to your apartment. the idea of lying in bed and doing nothing but binge-watch “New Girl” and cuddling up into your blanket was sounding very, very tempting to you. god wasn’t on your side today.

you finished up taking the final bit of notes you needed before you closed your notebook with a sigh of relief. there was approximately 12 minutes left of class and then you’d be free. to kill time you had begun to scroll through instagram.

at the beginning of the year, your professor had gone over the rules and expectations. one of them included how if you were to finish early, for the reminder of class you could just hang out till you were dismissed as long as you wouldn’t distract your peers.

eventually you got tired of instagram which is when you switched to doodling on the back of your notebook. it was quite relaxing actually. to be able to do whatever you pleased. in between classes, you has always loved going into the courtyard and sitting under a tree, whether it be listening to music or drawing, you had found that time to be peaceful. just like now.

in the midst of sketching a rose, you felt someone tap your shoulder. you turned your head and were met with four grinning faces: johnny druskinis, luca fantilli, luke hughes, and mark estapa. they were known around campus for playing for umich’s mens ice hockey team. to many, they were considered to be royalty, but to you? they were just a bunch of childish men who thought way too much of themselves. so what could they want with you?

“can i help you?” you asked, clearly annoyed with the situation already. the boys all looked at each other before they all spoke in unison, “yes.”

“okay…what is it that you need?”

mark was the first to speak, “for you to go out with me.”

silence.

you couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. why the hell would some guy you barely talked to ever would want to go out with you? it made no sense. the most you’ve ever spoken to him was during your first semester and it was only to ask if you could borrow a pencil. even then, he wasn’t this weird.

“you’re kidding, right?” you really hoped they were. you hoped that this was all some sick joke.

he just shook his head, “no, i’m not.”

you squinted you eyes at him before slowly turning around and getting back to you drawing.

the fours boys looked at each other once again before one of them asked, “sooo is that a yes?” it was luke.

you turned your upper body toward them. “why are you asking me to go on a date with you if we’ve barely ever talked?” it's a valid question. no one goes up to a girl they’ve never had an interaction with before and just blatantly asks them out. unless you’re a cocky son of a bitch but other than that it has never happened.

“well first of all, i think you’re a nice person and second of all, you’re cute. ” mark stated.

you just stared at him for a good minute before turning around again. you tried to convince yourself that, that last comment he made hadn’t made you blush, but you could feel your cheeks get hot. “no.”

mark’s eyebrows furrowed before he turned to his teammates, “what do i do now? she said no.” you were still able to hear them but blocked them out as you continued to sketch the petals of the rose.

“man i don’t know! i’ve never had a girl reject me before, what do you want me to tell you?!” luca whispered-shouted and mark just rolled his eyes before turning back to you.

he had leaned forward and was right at your ear. “oh cmon, i’m not that bad of a person.”

you put your pencil down and just stared ahead before answering. “my answer’s still no,” you turned your head and that’s when you realized how close you were. you couldn’t help but feel the heat creep up to your cheeks.

mark had noticed as he had a small smile plastered on his face. “please?” he begged like a little kid when they wanted something.

“you just won’t give up will you?” you knew he would keep pestering you about it until you’d yes but that’s not like you. you weren’t going to go out with some random guy you just met and expect it to go good. you wanna go out with someone who you know and have had moments with. and mark hadn’t checked either of those boxes.

“nope.”

you just smiled before turning around. your professor had dismissed the class and you quickly picked up before walking out of there and heading to you apartment, wanting to forget about what had just happened.

he was cute but that’s all you had to say about him.

━━━━━━━━━━

it was finals week and you had a huge exam coming up. every chance you got, you’d be going over your notes, reading your textbook, highlighting and writing more notes down. it was a pain in the ass. which is why currently, you were sitting at a table booth in the far corner at some cafe near campus.

you had your headphones on, listening to your playlist you had created for occasions like this. you were singing the lyrics to yourself, not wanting to make so much noise as you were in public and it’d be embarrassing if someone had heard you sing. you were in the middle of highlighting a paragraph when you felt the cushion dip, signaling someone had sat next to you.

you grab your headphones and wrapped them around your neck as you turned to face the perosn who had decided to sit next to you.

it was mark.

you had no idea why you were even surprised. for the past month, he had been trying to get you to go on a date with him. always sitting near you in class, passing you notes as if you were in high school again and sometimes, he would even leave a flower bouquet on your doorstep with a little note. it always said something along the lines of, ‘beautiful flowers for a beautiful girl -mark’ and if you were to be honest, it made you feel something inside.

you tilted your head a bit as you looked at him in confusion. “what are you doing estapa?” you already knew the answer to your question. normally, you’d want the conversation between the two of you to end the second he’d start talking to you but today you felt like talking to him like you would with anyone else.

“sitting down to talk to you,” he answered before scooting closer and leaning forward to look at why you had been doing. he just raised an eyebrow before he leaned back to look at you. “finals?”

“yeah, it’s been a pain in my ass recently and if i don’t pass this upcoming test, my life is practically over” you remarked as you gestured to your stuff laid out over the table. “it’s just been a stressful week and i’ve barely has time to do anything but study.”

mark only smiled. “i know something that can relieve the stress.” mark noticed how you perked up at the statement.

“oh, please! literally anything would help all my worries go away.”

“tomorrow night, go out with me.” mark inquired. you should’ve seen it coming. at this point all conversations with mark had ended in him asking you out and you giving him the answer, ‘no’.

you sighed as you put your head in your hands. “mark,” you stopped yourself before you could go any further.

mark had turned his body towards you, “oh cmon y/n. just one chance, i’ll make it worth your while.”

“i can’t. i have to study and you should be doing the same.” you said as you picked up your highlighter again and began to resume your reading.

mark rolled his eyes at the mention of studying. “all you do is study. you know you’re allowed to go out at times, right?”

you ignored his comments and spoke up, “my answer’s no.”

“i won’t stop until you say yes.”

“then i guess you’ll be trying for a while.” you shot him a fake smile before returning to your reading.

he only shrugged, “that’s fine by me,” and with that he slid out of the booth and headed out.

what is it with this boy and insisting on taking you out? surely it was all a joke, a bet even, between his friends if he could get you to agree to go on a date with him or not. it had to be a joke.

━━━━━━━━━━

it was friday night meaning you had finished all your exams and were happily laying in bed, wanting to relax. you had ‘New Girl’ on and you were enjoying every second of it until your roommate aka your best friend, natalie, had barged into your room. you were pretty sure the door knob had left a hole in the wall.

“get up hoe, we have places to be.” she exclaimed as she began to raid your closet.

you sat up as you stared at her like she were a mad man. “what do you mean, ‘we have places to be’” you began thinking, trying to remember if you had something important to attend to. “did i forget about us having plans or something because i don’t-”

“no, we didn’t have plans but now we do. so get your ass out of bed and start getting ready.” she ushered you into the bathroom and she handed you a pair of light washed jeans, a white tank top and a maize zip up with a michigan beanie. now you were really confused.

natalie had taken out your makeup bag and began to take out your mascara, lip gloss, blush and many other things you didn’t even know you had. you grabbed her hands making her turn towards you. “where are we going?”

“to a hockey game.”

she can’t be serious.

“you can’t be serious.” she only smiled and shrugged before going out of your bathroom and into the living room.

“i’ll be waiting for you and you only have thirty minutes!” she shouted as she made her way to the couch. this bitch is crazy.

you had put on the outfit and began to do your makeup. you hair was already done from when you did it in the morning before your 8:00 am lecture. somehow it had stayed in tact, only a few baby hairs were sticking out but nothing you couldn’t fix with hair gel.

you finished up your makeup and started to put everything in the bag but you left it be as natalie had shouted you only have two minutes. it’d be cleaned up eventually.

you walked out of the bathroom and headed toward the living room where natalie was waiting for you. “can we go now?” natalie looked up form her phone and a grin spread across her face. she nodded her head and you both headed out the door.

on the walk to yost, you both had met up with some of the player’s girlfriends. you and natalie were friends with them and you all hanged out even if you have never been the biggest fan of the men’s hockey team.

a couple minutes later, you had all arrived to the arena and went inside before showing your tickets and heading towards the rink. you followed behind as you watched the boys warm up. you had thought you were to get seats up high where you could barely see the puck, but to your luck, you had front row seats to the game.

you all had began to talk when molly, adam fantilli’s girlfriend, spoke, “so y/n how’s your relationship going with mark?” all the girls turned towards you, some confused while others just had a smirk on their face. what relationship? you guys were just friends. well if you could call it that.

“our relationship?” you questioned. you weren’t even in one. although sometimes you wish you were. over the course of mark’s attempts to ask you out, you couldn’t help but develop some feeling for him. with the flower bouquets on your doorstep, the small conversations you’ve had with him, to him trying to sit near you in class, always staring at you, it made you feel things you’ve never felt before.

molly furrowed her eyebrows, “you’re not together?” you could only skate you head no, “that’s weird. adam keeps telling me about how mark wont shut up about you and how he can’t wait for you to go on a date with him soon.”

“i never agreed to go on a date with him.” you replied to her statement. had he been making up lies? “if anything, i keep telling him no whenever he asks me.”

“why?!”

“you should say yes!”

“he’s in love with you, you know.”

“you guys would be cute together.”

you just looked at all of them and playfully rolled your eyes. “i don’t know.”

“he’s always sending her flowers almost every day. we’re running out of vases to put them in.” natalie explained and they all started squealing, asking you about the whole situation.

you were too busy explaining the whole story from when mark first asked you in class till now that you hadn’t noticed a certain player staring at you from the ice.

mark couldn’t help but smile at the thought of you being here at his game. he was too busy staring that he hadn’t noticed that ethan and mackie had skated over to him when they noticed their friend had been in the same spot for a while. the pair followed his gaze and both smirked at each other when they realized who mark had been looking at the whole time.

ethan put a hand on his shoulder, “dude, you are whipped.” that seemed to snap mark out of his trance.

“what?” mark‘s face had turned a deep shade at red as he had been caught staring at you.

“are two dating or what?”

mark looked at mackie, “where’d you get that from?” he asked.

“for the last month, she’s all you ever talk about. kinda just assumed she was your girl.” mackie shrugged as he skated side to side.

“no way is that ever happening. i’ve asked her out more times than i can count and the answers always been no,” mark said as he moved to stand in front of the two, “i’ve given up hope at this point.”

“might as well try one more time.” ethan suggested as he looked over mark’s shoulder. “i mean she’s looking at you right now,” he pointed over to where you and all the girls were seated. mark turned around and you quickly looked back as you had been caught. “they’re giggling. and are back to looking at you.”

mark could only give him a look. “so what? that’s what they do.”

ethan and mackie looked at each other before they bursted out laughing. “what’s so funny now?”

“god you really are stupid.” ethan told mark who playfully pushed ethan. “she’s in love with you too.”

mark scoffed. “and how would you know?”

“because i heard her talking about you to her friends. she said how at first she was a little annoyed with you because she’d be in class and you would sit either in front or behind her just to ask her out. and then you started to send her flowers with a little note attached and you’d pass her notes in class telling her she looked pretty and how you loved her personality and shit and wow you’re in deep man.” ethan explained and mark got annoyed before gesturing for him to continue, “she couldn’t help but feel something inside. she started to develop feelings for you and now that she looks back at it, she wished she would have said yes to when you asked her if she’d go out with you-”

ethan couldn’t finish what he was saying as frank had called them over. mackie and ethan skated over to the bench, mark not too far behind.

throughout the whole game, mark kept thinking about you and what ethan had said. did you love him? had you said no all those times to avoid your feelings for him? many thoughts ran through his head. he had to ask you. just one more time and hopefully this time you’d admit your feelings to him instead of avoiding them.

━━━━━━━━━━

the boys had won and you were all waiting outside the locker room for the boys to come out. the group was talking about going out next weekend but you zoned out. the whole night you couldn’t help but think, ‘maybe telling mark no was a bad idea’ and you knew it was. when he came out of the locker room, you would tell him how you felt, no hesitation.

about ten minutes later, you could hear the boys all shouting and clapping. you all winced at the noise but soon it stopped and the boys had started to file out of the room, some saying hi while others just smirked as they passed by you. the boys went over to their girlfriends while you stood to the side, letting them have their moment when all of a sudden you heard you name being called.

you turned around and were meet with mark and the sophomores behind him. you were confused, majorly confused. “hi?”

“i’m only going to ask once. y/n will you please go on a date with me?” mark pleaded.

that was unexpected.

you stood there, frozen. you didn’t know what to say. well you did but with everyone around you just froze. mark waved a hand in front of you face. “y/n?”

“huh, what?”

he couldn’t help but smile, “will you go on a date with me?” you did the fist thing that came to mind, you went up to him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. you leaned back and could see the blush on his face. “is that a yes or?”

“it’s a yes.”

everyone that was still there cheered and mark couldn’t help but wrap his arms around you as everyone had practically pounced on you both, celebrating mark’s success of you saying yes to a date.

“you know i like you right?” you broke the hug as you stared up at him. you nodded in response.

“i do mark. and it’s ok because i happen to like you as well.”

“i know.”

what did he mean he knew?

“what do you mean, ‘i know’?” you wondered as you pulled back.

“ethan told me earlier.” that little bitch.

you hid your head in his chest. “i’m gonna kill him.” you felt mark laugh.

“don’t be embarrassed. it’s okay. i mean i’ve loved you since i saw first saw you in class but was too much of a pussy to even talk to you so i just kept my distance. which is probably why you’ve always said no to all those times i asked.” mark said as you two began to walk out of yost behind everyone else.

“woah buddy, how about we keep the ‘i love you’s’ away until after that date.” you both chuckled. “i love you too. i have ever since you started sending over those flowers. and those notes you’d give me in class always made my day better. especially when i was having a shitty day which happened to be very often.” you both walked behind everyone. “i didn’t realize until a month later and now i wished i would’ve said yes sooner. it would’ve saved me all this trouble of denying my feelings for you when clearly i had loved you ever since you started to do all these things just to get me to say yes, which by way worked.” you smiled and he did too.

“i can tell. otherwise i wouldn’t do this.” he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. your hands found his cheeks and his found your waist. you didn’t waste a second to respond. the kiss was slow but passionate. it was all you ever wanted. you pulled away and looked up at him. “i love you.”

“i love you too.” you leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before you heard mackie call out, “hey lovebirds, let’s go! we’re going to the bar to celebrate this win!”

you and mark laughed as he stared down at you. “this doesn’t count as our first official date, right?” he asked as you two caught up with everyone.

you shook your head, “no, not unless you want it to be.”

“good.”

the way i honestly got a little carried away with this and it somehow still turned out like shit. it’s fine. the last part was booty as i had gotten tired but at least it’s done. this took me two days to write and i promise all of my other fics won’t be this long.

[kozachenko]

wooo yay I have another WIP in the works after I've finally had time to draw again yipeeeeeee (click for better quality)

Also, on a side note happy pride month! I don't have anything super special for this month like last year (also I've been on this hellsite for a year now jesus christ) and so I might as well post this WIP I've got going of Keiki and Mayumi because this idea has been marinating in my head for a while now and I needed to get it out.

I'll keep my artist's note brief as like with my previous WIP I am just gonna save that for the finished piece (Edit: It's done now so clink the link here to see it), but I would like to post some of my headcanons for the two of them here while I'm still thinking about both of them.

Artist's Notes;

So I really like the idea of Mayumi having some memory of her life before dying and ending up in the Animal Realm and that's part of the reason why she wants to protect Keiki so much, like, maybe she failed to protect someone she cared for in her life, or maybe she was just kind of an asshole and sees this as a second chance. IDK, I just think it could be a neat idea to play around with, especially if Mayumi is one of the few spirits who actually remembers her life, as I'm sure in most cases in Touhou, non-vengeful spirits tend to forget most of their lives upon death, so I think it could be and interesting idea to play around with. I also like the idea of Keiki asking Mayumi something along the lines of, "Are there any changes you want me to make to your appearance?" and Mayumi gives her input on what she wants her new body to look like, which I think could be a really nice moment of bonding between the two of them. Also, I love the canon detail of Mayumi being the only one who's really able to understand Keiki's way of speaking, I just think it's really cute.

As for how I drew both of them, I took a few liberties with their outfits and took some inspiration from Kofun period clothing and armor. I also figured out a way to draw Keiki's apron and I am so happy with it, as well as Mayumi's armor. Also, I like how Mayumi's hair is looking so far, as when I was sketching it, I was trying to draw it in a way that would still work in my artstyle and with the general shape language I was trying to go for with Mayumi, though in the finished piece I might make a few changes. Also will have to play around with Mayumi's positioning, as I want it to look like she's kneeling and her legs are being covered by the flame thingy, but at the same time I'm not to happy compositionally with how she's placed right now, so I'll have to work on that.

[o0o0thorn0o0o]

It’s that time of year again!!!

The amount of times Ibis crashed on me ;~; (still sorting out the storage issues—at a slug’s pace, ‘cause other things be preoccupying my mind), but it was worth it!! I’m very much proud, very much pleased, with how it came out this year if I do say so myself! Ahhh, all that struggling with and “refinding” my art style this year was not for naught!!

I think of my previous years, 2021 is my favorite, but it’s officially been replaced now 😌 I feel so content rn (please don’t let this be a short moodlet, eheh)

That said, I do think I prefer last year’s hands. They were also a pain this time—primarily Yukiko’s right hand…

Anywho, previous versions (+ “base-color” version + a close-up ‘cause why not) under the cut (after some more rambling, eheh):

I was really struggling to start this—I restarted it 3 times essentially—so I’m also really happy with how it came out in that regard. As such (plus the crashes), I’m a wee bit late this year, but only by a few days; I really don’t mind it for once, haha.

I noticed I was going in a certain direction over the years with Yukiko’s hairstyle and the light source, and not the one I intended. Realized that this year, so I fixed those trends:

Tried to make the light source more behind and adjusted it’s position to match with the scene in my head more (though, if I really wanted to be truthful to that, she’d be in one of the other ballgowns I designed for her since she wears this specific one for her first meeting with Gakushuu in this AU, whereas the idea for this scene is supposed to be from when they’re much more familiar with each other later on. But, uh, I like this dress wayyy too much, so let’s just ignore that, haha). I was actually thinking of finally implementing a proper bg this year—even sketched it (mainly for perspective, though)—but I really wanted to just get this done, haha, but also… I didn’t want to deal with more crashes… Perhaps next year… but don’t quote me on that, haha.

As for the hair, the strands that bunch up the rest of Yukiko’s hair—I noticed I was placing them too low. How I imagine her hairstyle to be is that they eventually connect up to her bun (I should definitely sketch a back view concept of this design, mainly so I don’t forget stuff like these, eheh, and to visualize just what in the world is going on… but that’s something distant future me will worry about… if she remembers, of course ^^;). But they’re also supposed the same length as the rest of her hair, so… yeah… I thought this would make her hair less fluffier, which would’ve saddened me, haha, but it didn’t! That said, I have a feeling I’ll possibly make it less voluminous next year… Seems a bit too thick… but idk. I like drawing thick hair, haha.

Oh, also, if you’ll notice: I decided to simplify her underskirt design last year, and… yeah, no, I reverted that change, haha.

Mannn, I am in such a mood to draw more “A Brothers’ Quarrel” stuff/AC Kingdom AU stuff in general (like designing some proper outfits for Gakushuu and Karma finally (they’re the main characters, and Yukiko only appears for a specific part of the AU, yet who do I draw the most…? XD), drawing her horse, Camellia, drawing her in her other dresses, finally getting around to drawing her ladies-in-waiting designs in that other Kingdom AU (just how long ago did I post the traditional sketches of them? Yikes…), etc, etc), but I’ve got too much stuff to get finished before the end of the year. I really need to pick up the pace, eheh.

[crescencestudio]

๋࣭⭑ Devlog #39 | 3.27.24 ๋࣭⭑

Happy March!!

This devlog is going to be a bit shorter, but...... it's for Exciting Reasons that I will share later in the post. heh.....heh.....HEH.....

Let's jump in ^^

This month, writing was mostly dedicated to Etza's route! We have officially entered the Developmental Editing part of Etza's route, which is super exciting!!!

There were parts of Etza's route I wasn't completely satisfied with, so I spent a lot of this month tinkering, adding, fleshing out, editing, etc. for their route. I'm happier with it now compared to where it was when we entered this month, and especially with Wudgey's help, I'm excited for Etza to get the love they deserve!

I had a small, optional goal for myself to start Kuna'a's route, but honestly, I felt like between work with the Enhanced Demo, Etza's edits, and just generally feeling a bit tired after being Super Productive in January and February, I decided to give myself a break. That being said, I'm relatively confident I'll be getting started with Kuna'a's route next month, and I'm excited to dive into their route (and the Fae routes in general, teehee!).

Vui is on the very last of the BGs I need from him..... So I am in mourning.......

Kidding but not kidding. Vui has done an amazing job of putting the backgrounds for Alaris together! They're absolutely stunning, and by the time we get to the next devlog, he will have finished ALL of the BGs for Alaris! It's been about a year and a half in the making, which is kinda crazy to think we have been together for this long (and working on the full game for this long), but it's definitely A Moment.

In celebration of him reaching this milestone, I wanted to highlight some of the BGs he's made for the game! The theme is early morning; some of these BGs are in the demo, and some are in the full game hehe. You'll have to guess the context of the mysterious full game BGs :')

Sneak Peek: BG Showcase, morning strolls around the world of Alaris

I also thought it's been a while since I showcased a CG here. While I don't play on showcasing many of the full game CGs on public devlogs (I do show them on my Patreon!), I wanted to show a little snippet of this specific CG.

Why, you ask? Well, for the OGs, you might remember I showed a sketch of the CG during the Alaris Kickstarter---whenever the hell THAT THING happened.

I finished rendering it now that I got the BG for it, so I wanted to show a peek of that sketch that I showed oh-so-many-years ago.

Sneak Peek: Kayn Full Route CG I want to lick him

Generally for art progress, I've been working on CGs as well as some promotional materials, which I'll be getting to in the next section \o/

Now for the Exciting News!!!!

I have two bits of exciting news. The first is...

Sneak Peek: Selection Screen for Alpha/Beta Access (OUUUUGGGGGHHHHH)

I STARTED CODING KAYN'S ROUTE!!!! The first act is already "done" and ready for beta access. And I'm hoping to finish the other two acts within the next couple of weeks. It is crazy to finally be able to code some of the full game routes. Even if they're not at the "final version" or early access stage, it is Extremely Rewarding to finally experience the scripts I've been writing in the game!!! With the CGs.... Extended Screens..... Just seeing the script with visual assets and not just a Google Doc is SOOOOO FSEIKLFJSEILE

Sneak Peek: Chapter Character Cards (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

The second piece of Exciting News is that I have a release date for the Enhanced Demo. YEEEEAAAAAA. It's finally happening!!! Please stay tuned over the next couple of days...... An Exciting Announcement is on its way...................................

I didn't do much market research this month. If I'm being honest, I actually struggled a little bit this month with like...... burnout and workaholism guilt. I wanted to take a break after getting the demo ready for public release, but I just couldn't bring myself to fully rest. It felt like there was so much to do (not just with Alaris, but also with real world/work obligations) and all these looming deadlines was starting to get to me.

I'm hoping next month because I'll actually be Releasing the demo (oops, sneak peek of general release date teehee!), I'll be able to feel like I can take a break. But it also sucks a bit that I feel like I have to Earn It. I think with Alaris being a Kickstarter project, I want to get the game in your hands as soon as possible, but of course it's not to anyone's benefit if I burn myself out in the process and end up with either a worser project or taking even longer to finish it.

I did...... start Stardew Valley again since it is the ultimate dissociation/break game for me. So far it's been working! But we'll see how it continues <3

LOOK AT MY FARM!!!

Should I marry Sebastian or Elliot.

Anyways, hope you all have a great rest of your month, and I'll talk to you Very Soon with an Exciting Announcement! <3

[tartrat]

Kapyy is going out tonight, he’s on his vigilante shit.

This is the most cursed thing I’ve made and that includes an abstract painting of an amethyst I made over Easter break. The sketch with the basic idea and more thoughts and headcanons below I guess.

Firstly don’t look at the mouth too much, the teeth were annoying me. I seem to do like a simplistic style for people and not going overly detailed on their features when i put effort in. For my A level final piece, a self portrait, i sort of made my eyes mouth and nose less deatailed but you can still tell that it’s a face and so it looks kinda good. Honestly this piece looks better than i thought it would, i sort of panic when making art but i can make stuff look good when i put effort in, see the other canvas paintings I’ve posted here.

I started this on the 3rd of August and finished on the 10th.

As seen with my last post i hated doing those rhinestones and tassels but they ended up looking kinda good. I did the hair the same way i did the hair in my previous posts. I used the same brushes as well, custom watercolour and glitter brushes and the procreate turpentine brush to blend. I have a lot of process pics of me working on the colouring that look cursed that i kinda want to do a photo dump on. I also used the chromatic abbreviation filter on procreate to create a subtle glow around him.

Also i decided to put a signature on it, something that i keep forgetting to do on other pieces I’ve made. (Well for school i put my name on the back of my canvases, by the end of the year i had like eight canvases and by sketchbooks)

I had what i like to call a glee-lapse where i started re-listening to a bunch of glee covers, specifically: Nasty/Rhythm Nation, The Boy Is Mine, Start Me Up/Livin’ On A Prayer, and Don’t Start Believing. Other songs i listened to include, Ldn By Lily Allen, Black Magic by Little Mix, Take Me to Church by Hozier, Bella’s Lullaby from Twilight, Touch-Tone Telephone by Lemon Demon, American Healthcare by Penelope Scott, Grace Kelly by Mika, Misery Business by Paramore, Coney Island, My Tears Ricochet, Better than Revenge, So Long London, But Daddy I Love Him, I look in Peoples Windows, Down Bad and the song this is based off of, Vigilante Shit all by Taylor Swift. I was at the Eras tour in Dublin in June which ended my A-levels exams. I also got the signed midnights blood moon vinyl for Christmas in 2022, then i put a st brigid’s cross i made on it and my mum thought it was a photo of Jesus when she saw it hanging on my wall.

The just dance wiki seems to have argued over who Kapyy’s performer is. Like he’s performed by someone, there is a kinda unnerving behind the scenes photo of him, like has he just escaped into our reality like Layl and Gabriela have. Where did that behind the scenes pic come from?

Headcanons I’ve been developing. So still going off the whole Kapyy and Talia are twins, they both have ADHD. This comes from me possibly having undiagnosed adhd that is manifesting as anxiety so yay. It’s also just came to me that since i said that their dad should be from Cyber funk that he should be the Blinding lights extreme coach. Basically Blinding lights extreme and Giddy on Up take place round about the same time so BLE meets GOU whilst he visits Wasterra, they fall in love, eventually get married and have twins, Kapyy is ultimately kidnapped at birth leaving Talia unaware that she has a twin until she unknowingly meets him shortly after the events of I Knew You Were trouble. The GOU and BLE coaches were popular performers of their time and teach performing arts classes art a university now, with Talia studying English literature and language, and Kapyy being an Art student who performs on the side (So basically I’m Blue extreme), as in he gets paid for performing but he masks he actual feelings, whilst Talia would actually show her emotions through her ability to control tvs.

Other headcanons include, when Kapyy isn’t doing too great the Levitating Extreme coach has to bring him home and make sure he’s ok. Kapyy and Talia are basically Dipper and Mabel from Gravity Falls sorta, Talia is dipper and Kapyy is Mabel, like how they ground each other. Both of them are also double jointed (obviously their performers most likely aren’t). That’s about it so far.

I also think that i alienated the two people on twitter who follow me for yo kai watch by just posting just dance fanart there, luckily there is the Yo kai watch Just Dance Game, when my worlds collide, so i want to do more yo kai watch fanart. I have an idea for a yo kai watch x just dance fanart, kapyy may or may not be involved ion that.

That’s about it, i feel fuzzy again like I’m excited and nervous to post.

As for where Kapyy got the bodysuit from, well…

Bonus doodle:

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Are you being completely truthful with your bio? You have a somewhat juvenile writing style even down to the ✨word✨ and your writing reference for male arousal is strangely written and a little inaccurate. Your obsession with objectifying and writing porn of real life men with wives and families makes you look like either a really creepy adult, or a kid that doesn’t know any better. Do you think it’s ok for a straight man your age to objectify a female actress in this same way?

Not to mention your pinned is from 2020 so you would have been 16 when you made the account that says “minors do not interact” in all caps

The mentions of collage are interesting as well, what the hell are you majoring in anyway? Did you forget to update your age and this is your last year? Or were you actually running an 18+ account while 16? And honestly I’m assuming you were probably younger.

Your alias is S.

You go by sir and but you use very cliché and juvenile language, “I’m more friendly than I look, I promise 😅” “I’m a dyslexic fanfic writer *existencial sigh*”

it’s got the same vibe as, “he’s standing right behind me isn’t he 😬”

Just don’t lie about this shit when you’re writing porn. You’re going to be prayed on. Just be safe with it and keep it on a private account.

I believe this ask and these following asks come from the same person or from affiliated people because they all were sent in around the same time and are all orbiting the same topics, so I'm looping them together:

"Hey man, how old are you exactly?"

"What r u studying? Writing I assume? But I feel like you’d be qualified to teach the class 😏"

"Are you planning on making an account solely for your art? You’re incredibly skilled"

"Do the names cate and Lillian mean anything to you?"

"Cate?"

If they're not all the same person or a purposeful group of people talking about the same things, then I apologize to the people I've tacked on to discourse, lol.

Shorter asks first:

I'm in my twenties, and I'll explain the vagueness there in a hot second when I get to the longer, opening ask.

I'm actually studying art, not writing, lol. Writing is just a hobby for me. Thanks, regardless! I don't think I'd be very good at teaching, though 😅 My writing process is a mess, and I'm constantly breaking so, so many writing rules, lmao.

Thank you! No, I don't plan on making a separate art account for fandom or for my actual, non-sketch, finished-piece artwork. I mean, I have art accounts, but they're purposefully not attached to my Tumblr because art is a hobby right now, but I'm planning on making it into my profession.

No? Should they?

No? I'm so confused, lmao. Are you assuming you know who I am, and that's the motivation of the pointed questions? Assuming I'm Cate or Lillian? 'Cause I'm not. If they're people/characters related to the Marvel/Seb Stan/Chris Evans, then I feel like I need to warn you that I'm often fandom illiterate, lol. I don't actually watch TV/series/movies regularly, so... I'm oblivious to a lot.

Okay, on to the longer, opening ask that started this saga of asks.

First, I appreciate that you are trying to keep people out of harms way. I do. Yet, aren't there less accusatory ways to go about it? Absolutely, full stop, I do not want minors--no matter if they're 17, so close to 18 or whatever excuse they may make--in the parts of fandom that are not appropriate for them. No.

However, I, personally, don't think accusing someone of being something and talking down to them, picking apart each little thing about their online presence will do anything to anyone who is already engaging in shit that they should not be. Maybe that's just my hot take, though. I can't say I have the answer about how to eliminate minors who shouldn't be around these places on the internet, though. Unfortunately.

'Cause, yup! I'm being truthful.

Often, I am vague on purpose. I do that because, by the nature of what I get up to on the internet living in a society based so deeply in puritanical views, it's easy to have shit used against you in the professional world. But, whether I'm being vague with personal information like my age, name, location, etc. while getting hyperspecific with sexual shit, I'm still honest.

And I don't know if I need to specify this or not, but just in case I do, it says 20s with an s in my pinned post. Plural. As in 20-29, the range of being in my 20s. I'm in my 20s.

Yes, my pinned post is 4 years old at this point, so maybe I sound more juvenile in it because it's been four years since I wrote that. I have edited parts of it, but not everything. Also, yes, I was 18--closer to 19, but still 18, nevertheless--when I started my blog. So. More juvenile then, definitely. Hell, you're allowed to think I still sound juvenile, too. If you want. You're entitled to your own opinion. If you don't like the way I sound, though, just don't read my stuff. That's simple.

And it bleeds into the idea that I sound inaccurate. I am inaccurate sometimes. Definitely. Not everything I write could I replace myself with whatever character or person I'm writing about and feel like it is accurate to how I would feel or respond in that situation. But, the thing is, for me, that's the allure to porn. That's the whole thing. Porn is fantasy. The way I describe shit isn't literal all the time. It's about conveying feelings. It might not be your experience with feelings of arousal. Cool. Great! Differences are good. Feelings aren't objective. Again, if something about my writing makes you feel weird or feels too unrealistic to your experience, you don't have to read it.

As far as the ethics and nonethics of writing about real people, I've discussed that before (one, two, three), so I won't go into that now, but I would be interested to dig into your notion of how my actions may stack up comparatively to a straight man objectifying women.

I would call myself a feminist. I am always trying to learn more about how to be a better, more intersectional feminist. The swapping of me, a cis queer guy, sexualizing/objectifying other men with a cis straight man sexualizing/objectifying women does bring up very strong feelings in me. It does feel distinctly creepy to me. However, I can point directly to the reason why: it feels much more threatening for a man to talk about women like that. Obviously, not every man is terrible and means to threaten sexual violence to women, and women aren't delicate, helpless little things that must be protected at all costs. However, yeah, like you're getting at, it does feel different, and I have to sit with that to parse out why and what I want to do about it.

Interestingly, though, because of my experiences in the parts of the queer community I frequent, I feel relatively desensitized to mlm sexualization. Like, it's just part of it often, so much so that it goes unnoticed to me. Which, I can understand how people then pick up pitchforks and say no!! You can't do that! That's part of the problem! Or, why does everything have to be sexual with you!! But... that, to me, slides into the censoring, no-kink-at-pride type of discussion that I am not so interested in having at this juncture. There need to be spaces where children are welcome. Yes. There also need to be separate spaces where adults are allowed to be open and honest with all sorts of emotions, including the emotion of horny in a way that's safe and sane and consensual.

I will also note, because it feels worthy of mentioning here, that I have boundaries with sexualization. Real life and online life are different. I'm honest in both, but the rules and behavior are different, y'know? There's nuance to be had.

I don't talk outside of Tumblr the same way I do on Tumblr. Real life is very different to fandom etiquette. Which, I acknowledge that a lot of fandom--historically and presently--is women. Not totally, of course, but a good chunk. Women are objectified exhaustively in our society. So, personally, I feel that it is more than fair for them to then turn around and objective men some. Ever since getting into fandom, I've emulated that because it's the culture here. I've picked it up without really realizing it. Does that mean I feel like it's as fair for me, a man, to take up space in a traditionally women-populated area that's often described as a safe space and co-opt the slang? No. It's not really mine to adapt. Perhaps I should look into that deeper or acknowledge more than I do that I stand on borrowed ground.

Amongst that thought, though, is the realization that I don't talk the same offline because when I'm in the fandom space, I feel a little bit of my traditional socialization come undone. I'm a man. I was raised to crush down emotions and be strong and steady. Sure, I'm a 5'6" twink looking motherfucker, but I'm still a man, and still, strong emotions I might show in real life are met with confusion at best.

Strong emotions like anger or even noticeable, perky excitement when in public do not get a great response. Anger, understandably. I'm very aware of that. I'm not an angry guy, I grew up around a lot of angry people, I know it's frightening--especially when men get angry. I don't think I'm particularly threatening when I do get frustrated, but still, the few times I've been visibly upset like that around people in public, I can always feel women particularly shrinking away from me. It's just not acceptable. But, excitement. Even excitement or other positive emotions rouses discomfort from others in public.

If I express strong excitement or happiness to people who aren't my friends, people in public, I get reactions, too. Women tend to look at me strangely, as if there's something weird about me. That changes if I out myself to said women because it's more socially acceptable to be exciteable or positive if you're queer. Now, men brush me off in that situation. As a kid, that was not allowed because, what are you gay? Why? Why are you excited about anything? Pfft. That's for girls.

So, all is all to say, I don't talk the way I do on Tumblr. And perhaps that excitement/obvious horniness/whatever strong emotion that I do express on Tumblr comes across as juvenile or unmasculine to you. Maybe that's what you're picking up on with my apparently juvenile tone? I don't know.

That all sounds like I'm saying, poor me, it's so hard to be a man, feel bad for me, but what I'm doing is trying to explain where I'm coming from, why I express that way, and how it's different from my behavior in real life. You're still allowed to think I'm hypocritical and creepy, like I'm allowed to explain myself and do my own thing.

Again, I was 18 when I made my blog.

As for what I'm studying, I'm working toward an MFA right now. As it states in my pinned post, I'm dyslexic. Part of my journey in higher ed has been learning--trying to learn, at least, oof, it's not always going well--how to go easier on myself and not stress out over not being able to keep up all the time with my peers who aren't dyslexic. I'm trying not to feel dumber and feel like that's a terrible thing. So, I took a lighter class load when I got to college to go my own speed, I don't take summer classes, and then I fucked up shit with my transfer degree. Meaning, I'm a whole year, almost two, behind with the "average" track. That's why it feels like I'm stuck in college purgatory, lmao.

I use S because it relates vaguely to my real name, that's all.

I offer that people can use "sir" to refer to me because I, personally, like power dynamics in sex and my blog is about sex a lot. I don't feel like "daddy" fits me, sure, partly to do with my age, but really, daddy is a mindset, lol, and it strikes me as much more nurturing and romantic mindset/dynamic. I don't feel like that fits me. I like something stricter. I used to think I was a stone top, lol, and while I don't feel exactly like that anymore, I certainly don't feel as kinky-soft as "daddy".

Sure, that's maybe cliche to say. Cool. Personally, it doesn't strike me as juvenile, but clearly, it does to you, so... okay? I don't know what to do about that? It's just how I write.

Also, it's very amusing to me to accuse someone of lying while choosing to remain anonymous and disconnected from your own blog that, hopefully, contains your age/age range within it.

Reiterating: I think it's good that you want to keep minors out of the places they shouldn't be, I do. That's admirable. It's dangerous for the minors that do step foot in 18+ spaces as well as dangerous for well-meaning adults who unknowingly interact with minors masquerading as adults. But you're barking up the wrong tree.

You're welcome to say that writing this whole thing is defensive, clearly juvenile, and proves your point if you like. (Maybe, fine, I am a little offended to be told my smut sounds like a child wrote it because... yikes. So, I'm defending something there.) Still, I was interested in diving into some of the things you brought up 'cause I think about some of that a lot. Especially about my place in fandom as a guy. I try very hard not to be the creepy guy in the corner 😬

[lemon-wedges]

Just wanted to ask (and feel free to not answer), but how do you draw so much so quickly? I'm always impressed by how fast you doodle or paint. Also, wanted to say that I appreciate your Barok and DGS art as a whole.

and with this ask i have finally reached an artist milestone 😭

Well theres a short answer and a REALLY long answer (which ill put under cut when i get there).

short answer: practice + refs

which.....can be an annoying thing to hear. And as someone who studies art and has bought a LOT of online courses trying to figure out how industry people can just churn out work like nothing. it feels like a let down every time i find out their big secret. just practice and photo refs. Every. Single. Time.

LONG ANSWER:

its how you studying your refs. heres how i do mine

sorry if this is rambly. but ill try my best to at least be clear. BUT THIS is the EXACT way i taught myself how to be quicker.

I do not know if youve taken any art classes but essentially one of the ways to study gesture drawing is by first tracing ur photo ref to get a sense of the flow/proportions of the body. youve probably seen a billion of these tutorials floating around:

So last year around hmmmm june/july? i was NOT looking to get better at my anatomy or gesture. i was actually trying to get better at clothes. but my problem was it took me so long to draw out a figure (which i was fine with cause i liked how my people looked at the time) that i could never really just focus clothing part.

So i told myself look. ur not looking to draw in this style like this forever. so for now SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY SIMPLIFY!!!! I WANT THE BAREBONES OF A HUMAN HERE TO MAKE A MANIQUIEN FOR CLOTHES OK

but how do i do that....

Im gonna use this piece as an example from my rise and yosuke fashion palooza month. FIRST u see i got all my photo refs together. i like those poses on the right and i want to switch out the clothes for the other ones i picked out. i trace out my poses. kind of like the tutorial up top but since this is about draping i was focused the exact places their waist/arms/legs/etc would bend.

and like the tutorial u turn off the photo ref and do a drawing based off that traced piece.

then i would turn on my refs and add on my clothes

And after a month of just doing that over and over and over. i was surprised to find that figures and poses were so much easier to understand when i would break them down like this. and once u get familiar with them the faster and more confidently you'll draw them.

I and still do this btw. heres my otasune from the last week

i used photo refs for all my sketches. if i cant find anything online to match what i want i just take photos of myself. and some might say well arent u just relying on reference TOO much?

AND AGAIN take it from someone who has spend a lot of money buying classes from their fav artists in the industry. The Secret of how they churn out so much cool work so fast always turns out to be this. practice and photo refs.

Every. Single. Time.(tho this is omitting a lot. im not getting into like they way they stylize their art work. that actually the fastest and funnest thing to do once u have ur base down)

Now PAINTING

The thing is, i dont actually post up all my work on this blog. So theres a ton of stuff you havent seen me do. These are some paintings i did 2 years ago for a class.

I already know how to pick my values and set up lighting. When you see me painting my figures now. i am not focused on learning these basics im actually just honing a technique.

you might see me post readmores with these kinds of wips. I lay in all my colors and lighting with the lasso tool. ALL THE MAJOR DECSIONS ARE DONE HERE

(the little miniature i add on the side basically tells me what the overall feeling is going to be when i blend in the lineart to be cohesive with my colors) ( also if you had any questions on my prepainting process tho. feel free to ask!!!)

and if you compare this wip to my finished piece youll actually find that i dont stray that far from what i've laid in.

everything happening at THIS stage is about feeling out how i want the textures to blend with one another and getting funky with some brush strokes.

and thats it? im not sure if any of this is helpful but if anything. i hope you come away from this feeling like what ive been doing here is nothing special. "THATS IT???? THATS ALL THERE IS??? well i could have done that :T"

exactly man. you can do ALL OF THIS aND MORE!!! I BELIEVE IN U :D

but ill let this be the last thing i leave u with my friend: my barok sketch and the refs i used for his boobies

[kittick-art]

Wahoo, time for another Animatic Deep Dive!

I did this on twitter after my jeanmarco animatic came out last year, and I wanted to do something similar for the Royai animatic! This post will include HD stills from the animatic, as well as some nerdy insight into some shot choices and such, bc I need an outlet to geek out about it. Everything is under the ‘keep reading’ break! :]

Ok to start off, I wanted to show some behind-the-scenes stuff, including my first thumbnails I drew in my sketchbook, as well as part of the shot sheet that kept me organized (and sane) throughout the animatic.

Also, fun fact is that I'm primarily a 3D animator, so I used that knowledge to sculpt a rough version of Mustang's office for the final shot :]

Ok so now for actual stills...starting with one of my FAVORITE sequences to draw, which I have dubbed 'the scrolling bit.'

And a fun little composition tidbit about this sequence is that I tried to show the passage of time through Roy & Riza's placement in the shots. So in order, they progressively go from the right of the screen to the left. It was actually a really last-minute decision, bc originally I had two different shots (see below) which got scrapped in order to do that silly compositional thing. I think it was a worthy sacrifice because that drawing of Black Hayate on Mustang's head was just so fun to draw.

OKAY, now I want to move onto my favorite part of any animatic, which is the pretentious stuff about 'character placement' and "the deeper meaning." Blah blah, all that art-school kind of stuff that you'd hear in some film analysis class.

It's not intentional whatsoever, but I realized after the animatic was finished that Hawkeye is almost always on Mustang's righthand side, other than a select few times when he's the one supporting her. Feel free to look into that if you'd like, but just know it was not intentional and isn't consistent 100% of the time.

What was intentional, however, were these 4 shots, and specifically the placement of Mustang & Hawkeye within them:

These 2 sequences are meant to be direct parallels to each other, in everything including how Mustang turns to Hawkeye, and Hawkeye is already facing him. They were also my favorite shots to animate, especially with Riza coming out of her salute. Seeing them in the final animatic almost made me tear up, ngl. They're just so dang in love!

Finally, the last part that holds some artsy deeper meaning is a sequence I actually shared a long long time ago. I've dubbed it the 'spotlight section' bc idk how else to describe it.

Back when I teased this sequence, I alluded to some "deeper meaning" behind the use of red in the tags. And while the use of red is a pivotal thing throughout the entire animatic, it's most important here. It starts on Hawkeye's back, then transfers to Mustang's glove, and finally goes back to Hawkeye as her blood. Basically what I was trying to get at was something about consequences, and where flame alchemy has led them. In some way or another, Riza's decision to show Roy her tattoo ended up leading to her own (near) demise. So the red was supposed to show that transfer of consequence, if that makes sense.

ANYWAYS. Enough of me rambling. Thank you for reading if you somehow made it this far. All the love on this animatic - even since I first started teasing it back in November - has been insane to me. I still feel like I can't wrap my head around it. I'll leave you all with one last sketch from when I first started making the animatic. Have a good night, everyone!

[biolizardboils]

Hey again.

I was saving this for when I'd wrapped some other stuff up, but it's taking too long. I'm just gonna say it while the words are fresh in my head.

The two-month break I've been on? I think I'm gonna stay on it. As in, stay logged off except on special occasions.

There's still things I want to finish here. I will answer what's left at @ask-the-all-consuming-void and bring it to a proper ending; The Secret Thing it was gonna segue into will go up, even if only as sketches and drafts; And there's another project I'm still helping with behind the scenes. But aside from those… I want to maintain my internet presence a lot less.

I've learned a lot about myself since I left: most importantly the hyper-empathy, compassion fatigue thing, and that being terminally online probably does more harm than help. There's trying to be a good, vigilant person, and then there's overwhelming oneself about things they can't control, with info that isn't always accurate. I've been doing the latter in different ways for years; late April/early May was a big wake-up call. Lesson learned: I've got to find balance, and I won't find it here.

The second-most important thing I learned is that… the reason I "joined" the internet in the first place? It's pretty much been fulfilled. Has been for a few years now, actually.

I made this tumblr in 2015, but I got my real start on deviantART and WordPress in 2011. Don't expect links; what people post in their preteens can stay between them and God lol. But I'll tell you what got me to make accounts: my confusion as a new Sonic fan. The way people talked about them, the way they talked to each other… it hurt to see.

I got it in my preteen head to set a better example. To not let my love for something become disdain for others of its kind. To explain instead of assume. And to assure anyone who'd listen that it's not shameful to like Sonic, that those who do deserve better, and that they could still have it better someday.

And now, 13 years later… we do. The hurtful stuff I saw back then is nearly gone now. When it does pop up, it's easier to counteract than ever. People realize how silly and petty and wrong it was, and can call it out accordingly. People can live a little truer to themselves, now that that shit isn't everywhere anymore.

I think that, specifically, is all I really wanted. Everything else—the reinvigoration of the characters and their world, the downpour in avenues once closed off by "cringe" and "not enough interest"—have been wonderful byproducts. I've been gassing up Sonic Movie 3 as the final step, but it's really more of a victory lap.

After realizing that, I just… don't feel the need to post so much here anymore. My self-worth and sense of morality shouldn't rely on what I do or don't type. I don't need to document every thought or choice I make and why.

The cause I've performed for since middle school no longer needs my time and energy, if it ever even did. I can just enjoy things in relative silence, and spend myself in other ways. Ways I've taken too long to get around.

Sonic Unleashed is what set me down this path. I watched it go from rejected at launch, to just divisive, to respected and beloved. I still wonder if, had it gotten a fairer chance, the current Sonic renaissance could've happened sooner.

But dwelling on that won't change anything. I'd rather dwell on how, this year, I got to scream Endless Possibility with hundreds of other people, loudly and proudly. No fear of who's watching, no need to self-sabotage. It meant the world to me.

There was a con in my area on June 23rd. I wasn't planning on doing anything that day until I heard about it. There was someone in attendance who helped me put a symbolic bow on this part of my life.

I think he did a wonderful job :)

I have one last thing to say before I go. That'll be its own post, so I can put it in the public Sonic tags.

Again, the stuff I've left hanging here will get finished eventually. But for now, this is goodbye.

Moots, followers: thank you so much. I will quite literally remember you all in therapy.

--BiolizardBoils

[papyrus-in-practice]

Hey, y’all! I wanted to give an update on Papyrus in Practice and other related stuff.

“It’s been about a year, where’s the next page!?”

Wow, when I saw it’s actually been a year, I kind of blanched a bit. I didn’t mean for the hiatus to last that long. Next page is actually done. In fact, a couple of pages are either done or close to done. I’m trying to build up a big buffer so that, hopefully, there will be a smaller gap between updates in the future. My plan is to have eight pages completed, line art for four pages done, have the script for the next scene done, and have a couple of pages worth of sketches ready. As I’m typing this, six of the eight next pages are done with the remaining ones in various stages of completion and two of the four next pages have finished line art. I’ve been working and reworking and re-reworking the script for the final scene for the past twenty months and honestly frustrated in how to wrap up the chapter in a satisfying way that won’t make me stuck on chapter 4 for another two years because the climax and conclusion is so long. So, that’s where I’m at now.

“I wrote something in the ask blog and didn’t get a response.”

I read every comment and every ask sent to me and, most likely, have at least attempted to write a script to answer it. But, I gotta weigh my options. Do I answer it at risk of delaying Papyrus in Practice for another month or focus on the comic? Depending on how elaborate the answer is, it might take a while to make a response. There are also things I just don’t know how to answer to and, believe me, I’ve tried coming up with a good answer, but I’m also still learning about life myself and I’ve found that, sometimes, my answer to a question has changed a lot over time. Sometimes, I’m afraid of saying something that’s ultimately harmful. It’s a tricky balance. At the end of the day, I've never guaranteed a response to any ask and never will guarantee a response. There are still some asks that I'd like to get around to, maybe if chapter 4 finishes or I get burnt out while making it and need a change of pace.

“Are you actually a therapist?”

Yup. I just graduated this past May with a masters in art therapy counseling. My title right now is a qualified mental health professional or QMHP. I’m waiting to take the National Counselor’s Exam to obtain my LPC but government paperwork is a looooong process(seriously, some of my colleagues have been waiting in the queue for over a year to get their LCPC). In the meantime, I can still practice as a therapist as long as I check in with a supervisor and have been practicing and slowly building my caseload for the past couple of months.

“Can you be my therapist/give therapy to this person?”

The short answer is no. The long answer is that there are a lot of ethical concerns when it comes to providing mental healthcare and breaching ethical guidelines could impede therapy progress, bring potential harm to the client, myself, or I could get in big legal trouble. I can also only practice if the client is located in my home state and goes through the company I work for since I need supervision to practice. However, I’d be happy to provide resources like websites that help you find a therapist, even for a reduced price, or self-help sites that can help you learn skills and develop tools to use that can boost your mental well-being. I cannot, however, provide mental health services.

“Will (insert character’s name) meet with Papyrus?”

Maybe. I’ve got ideas for characters in mind, but it’s more a question of how much longer I want to be doing this for. I’ll be honest with y’all, I’m getting burnt out. I want to do different projects or even revisit older projects, but I tell myself I can’t do that until I finish Papyrus in Practice or, at the very least, finish chapter 4. I didn’t think this chapter would go on for as long as it has, but it also makes sense. We’ve already hit page 25 which is almost as long as the entirety of chapter 3 and I don’t even know if we’re halfway done with the chapter yet. The way it’s looking, chapter 4 may easily hit at least 50 pages.

“So, when will you be posting again?”

Soon! Hopefully, before the end of the year. When I start updating again, I’ll be posting one page every other week which gives at least a few months of content for y’all.

That being said, I’ll see you soon!

-Meemie

[purity-town]

Been a little while since I last answered some asks, so -- replies below the cut!

Here ya go! Also tossed it in my sta.sh in case Tumblr crunches it.

Aha, don't worry, Chris! You'll get to experience plenty of horrors soon that'll validate your weird dreams!

All things considered, Chris is handling things pretty well right now, but I think he'd still accept a hug!

I whipped out my extensive comic collection (four of The Adventure Zone graphic novels) to get some inspiration for this! Those books tend to have a pretty basic back cover with a couple of the main/supporting characters tossed onto it, and I can see something similar working for Purity Town considering how many NPCs there are overall in the game (even though the number we've actually seen in the comic up to this point is much lower)!

:D Thanks for reading! I can't always manage to finish pages on time, but I do my best and I'm glad y'all're enjoying updates.

My first experience learning about the whole Guide/WoF thing was...I think a Stampy Cat video years before I even knew what Terraria really was. I assumed it was the scary final boss of the game, and didn't think anything more on it for half a decade. And then 1.4 came along and I got incredibly attached to the character. That's just how it goes!

For what it's worth, I will make the disclaimer: while I find it interesting to push characters and write how they react as they crack, at the end of the day, I do write happy endings. And there's plenty of room for more happy one-shots in the AO3 fic!

I kept the monsters in a sketch/low-detail/silhouetted style mostly to emphasize that Chris' dreams were strange and imprecise, but it was still cool to play around with monster designs a bit! Translating designs from the game version to comic characters can be weird because you need to account for the game expecting you to always see them from a particular angle -- the Wall of Flesh is the most extreme/obvious example of this. When we get to seeing more of Plantera proper I'll definitely have to brush up on my flower-drawing skills, haha.

I haven't actually built it out in a Terraria world proper! The world used in the blog header is a screenshot from the world I first beat the game in.

As far as a general description goes, the main town is located in a forest biome with the snowy-mountains-and-lake background. In the main area of town is the tavern and the nurse's clinic, plus the (now abandoned) clothier's store. Andrew also lives in the forest town, though slightly up-hill from it, so that he has to walk through some trees before he gets into the town square itself.

For the most part I imagine characters living in the biome they prefer in-game (with exceptions for those who like the Hallow), though the bulk of folks live in the Purity Town. The settlements in the other biomes are smaller, since having the pylons means you can go wherever you need to go for business quite easily.

Thanks! Terraria has some crazy lore once you start digging into it -- I think it'd be really cool to see "Zullie the Witch"-style lore deep dives just going ham on the minutiae of NPC interactions and Bestiary entries.

But in any case, getting to take all of that and work it into the comic here and there is good fun :D

Thank you!! I had a lot of fun with this chapter's cover, especially with the lighting and the border around the top. The Aether/shimmer stuff and the more glowy critters like faelings and prismatic lacewings are just such a delight to draw, haha.

[biwritesfics]

Broken Halos

An 18+ Tattoo Artist Steve story

Steve Rogers x Fem!reader 1k words

No use of y/n, the reader’s nickname is Angel.

This bit is pretty PG just a bit of language

*******************✩*******************

I fidget with my bike lock staring apprehensively at the tattoo and Piercing shop. Shield’s Tattoos and piercings was the store I had walked into on my eighteenth birthday clutching my ID and a 50 dollar bill. That’s when I met Nat. She pierced my ears and chatted with me over sodas. I came to her for the next five, filling my ears top to bottom on both sides. She had been begging me to get a tattoo but Nat wasn’t an artist and she was the only person I let stick needles in my body, well until now.

I had a meeting with Nat’s friend Steve to talk about a tattoo. He was fresh off army service give or take about a month he spent soul searching on an oil rig in the artic. Girls have gap years in Europe. I guess burly men have that. Nat had sung his praises and reassured me a million times that he was great but here I was standing outside the shop quaking like a leaf. They could probably see me so my fear of looking like an idiot outweighed my fear of strange men and prolonged exposure to needles.

The bell above the door rings as I enter. The shop smells like incense and cleaning solution, an aggressive combination that I had somehow grown to love. Nat turns the corner and hurries to wrap me in a warm hug. “God I can't believe you actually came! Your latest has healed nicely!” She refers to the small stud on my nose. I squeezed her tightly. “Yeah, the swelling went down in no time.”

“You must be Angel.” The deep voice is attached to a gorgeous statue of a man. He has baby blues that would make just about any woman North of the Mississippi weak in the knees. I blush before speaking. “It’s not my name but it's what everyone calls me. You must be Steve?” He nods and grins. That'd be me, sweetheart, wanna come back and take a look at some sketches I did?”

He escorts me to the back with a big hand resting between my shoulder blades, gently guiding me. “So I talked to Nat a bit and read the notes you sent so I did a few sketches. Some are more simple than others, just look and see what you like and I can make tweaks.” He slides a sketchbook across the table as I sit down. I flip through it gently admiring the sketches. There were flowers, books, even a bicycle but none of those caught my eye. It was the very last sketch that I knew was it.

“It’s a-“ “Seraphim” I finished, interrupting him in my excitement. “Sorry,” I apologize, embarrassed that I just blurted it out. “No no it’s okay I'm just happy you recognized what it was,” Steve reassures me. “It’s gorgeous, what placement do you think would be best?” I trace my fingers over the lines utterly in love with the image. “It’d make a pretty awesome back piece. I could really let it take up the room it deserves but it would take more than one appointment.” He says this hesitantly as if not wanting to force me into a commitment.

“I don't mind if you don't?” I tell him, seeing his face would be a bonus to go along with the tattoo. It was like a free art viewing just being in his presence. “Sounds like we've got a deal Angel.” His hand is warm when I shake it. “Clint will talk about billing later but I'm not worried about it. We can start today if you'd like? I just have to get a stencil going.” I nod happily. “That sounds good, thank you Steve.” “Anytime sweetheart”

I end up sitting/laying on the tattoo chair, my unclasped bra being the only thing reserving my dignity. Steve gently applies the stencil to my back. “Alright Angel this isn't gonna be horrible but it ain't gonna be pleasant either so let me know if you need a break. I'm sure you'll do good.” His Brooklynn accent comes out a bit thicker than usual. “Alright” I prepare myself for the buzzing and the pain but once the needle touches my skin it’s actually not the worst.

“So you from around here Sweetheart?” I laugh but try and keep it restrained because of the needle on my back. “No, I'm from a tiny town in Vermont up near Canada. I ran to New York the moment I turned 18. How about you? Brooklyn right? “Born and bred a couple blocks from here. Vermont has the leaves thing right?” I chuckle. “Yeah, leaf peeping when all the tourists come in. My Dad always hated it, he said if they were coming to see God’s handiwork they could bother to come into God’s house. He's a priest so..”

Steve sucks air in through his teeth. “I understand must've been tough with a priest as your old man.” “You could definitely say that. He was more into God’s wrath than his love and forgiveness,�� My voice comes out smaller and sadder than I mean it to. Steve’s voice darkens. “I’d like to show him some of my wrath” It was aggressive but it warmed my heart. “I think I'd like to see that,” I laugh. “Just say the word doll, can’t waste all this military training just cause I'm discharged.

“Special Forces right?” I can't see but I think he nods. “105th infantry then special forces. We were up in all the Europe Russia shit before it exploded up there.” “Thank you, really” “Eh just doin my part to fix the shitty system Doll. I think we're at a good stopping point. I'll get you all cleaned up here.” He sanitizers the area again and leaves me to get dressed. I throw my top back on but before I look at the progress on my back. It's gorgeous.

When I walk out Steve is at the front desk with Clint. “Hey Angel, I see Nat finally convinced you to get tatted.” I smile. “Yep she wore me down, how are Laura and the kids?” “Good, the boys are growing like weeds. Lila's getting college mail. She’s sixteen I feel like I’ll blink and she’ll be 21” I smile sympathetically. “Well the only one that’s turning 21 is Angellll!” Kate Clint’s niece singsongs walking out from the back carrying a box of cleaning supplies.

I groan. “You guys promised not to make a big deal of it.” Steve raises an eyebrow. Nat who was sitting silently in the corner grins. “Angel likes to think that her birthday doesn’t deserve a big fuss but if it’s up to anyone at this shop it’s gonna be a big deal and it’s gonna be on Saturday.” I glare at Nat. “You said just drinks.” She walks over, putting her arm around me. “I said there’d be drinks not that’d it be just drinks” I sigh and turn to Steve. “Well then if you’d like to join the madness you’re invited” “It’s a date” he replies.

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Twenty-Nine (Part 2)

“Mad,” Izzy is saying, “Where does the time go, really? How is it the end of August already? The year just flies by, doesn’t it?”

“You sound like an old person when you say things like that,” I point out as I spray down my desk with multi purpose cleaner. 

“When you’re my age you’ll get it. One day I was twenty two and then I blinked and I was twenty seven. It will happen to you too.”

“I’m sure it will,” I flip quickly through a paint water stained notebook of old sketches and then decide to chuck it into the bin, “Or maybe not, maybe I’ll be young and sexy forever.”

“Right.”

Simon comes up the stairs carrying his lunch, “Oh, you’re still here,” He deadpans, and I grin at him, “Not moved out yet, Simon, sorry to disappoint.”

“Yeah I was hoping you’d be gone, never to darken this door again by the time I got back from Subway.”

“Nah, you’ll miss me.”

He laughs, “I will.”

“We’ll all miss you,” Izzy said, “You’ve been the most perfect addition to our little team here, I don’t want to think about how it’s going to be without you.”

“Messier,” I say, looking at Gabriel’s desk space, tidy now, but not for long, “and without a desperate intern to get your stupidly specific coffee orders.”

“Ugh! Devastating,” She throws her arms around me in a tight hug, “Simon, can’t we keep her?”

“No,” He smiles and leans back against his desk, “I wish we could, but NCAD awaits, right Evie?”

“Mm.”

“But I will say that you’ll be missed, not just by us but by our clients. You’ve made some important people very happy this year, and I have to give you props for that. There’s a lot of things we really couldn’t have done without you.”

“It’s this creative brain,” Izzy declares, knocking on my head. “She’s a genius. We should crack her skull open to figure out the mystery.”

“If you ever want a job, Evie, you know where to come,” says Simon, “Like, no hesitation, there’s a desk for you at Mezzotint, I’d give you a job right now if you wanted it. Or a glowing reference for anybody else who wants you.”

“Though they might have to fight Simon for you,” Izzy grins. 

“Thank you, I’ll… Yeah like I’ll think about it. I’m not totally sure what I want to do yet, you know, whether I’ll go back to college or not. There’s a lot of things to mull over.” Izzy lets me go and I continue putting my things into a cardboard box. “Like, maybe I’ll hit you up for a reference, I don’t know.”

“I’ll give you one either way,” He shrugs, “Tell them to call me any day and I’ll chew their ear off about how badly they need you.”

“But you wouldn’t work anywhere but Mezzotint,” Izzy says, “You’re too loyal for that.”

I laugh, “Yeah, maybe.”

“Nah, maybe she has bigger plans,” says Simon, “Better things to do than illustrate a few birthday cards and draw signs, right Evie?”

“Well, we’ll see,” I say cryptically, “You never know what I might be thinking of next…”

Izzy cackles, “I love it, so mysterious. Well, reach for the stars, girl, you could succeed at anything you wanted to. I swear to God, fuck NCAD, you don’t need them.”

“I’ll tell them you said that.”

“Five years and you’ll be on the cover of some artsy magazine, and we’ll all read it and be mad jealous of you.”

“Yeah, but don’t forget where you came from,” Simon grins. “You’re a Mezzotint girl first.”

Time moves slowly in the liminal space between finishing my internship and going back to college. It’s like wading through syrup, the same feeling at that strange, timeless week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, and I wonder what I ever did with my free time when I had it before. 

Jude stays over every night in order to save me from the strange terror of my empty apartment, as well as himself from the equally strange terror of his empty home now that his family have taken to the beach house for the last weeks of summer. I start to get a taste of what it might be like to actually live with him one day. He cooks every meal and I do all the laundry. It’s an easy rhythm we fall into, but besides those minor responsibilities we mostly lounge around pretending we’ve forgotten about our exercise regimes and fucking indiscriminately on every surface of the house. It’s fine, some day soon I’ll have a new housemate and we won’t be able to do this. We’re just taking advantage of the situation.

It’s comforting to turn around and see him there, watching TV while I read a book in the kitchen, shaving his face while I shower, cooking eggs in the morning with the radio playing when I come downstairs hungry. 

“Wow, you’re perfect, aren’t you?” I say as I wrap my arms around his bare torso and plant a kiss between his shoulder blades. 

“I’m just giving you a taste of the good life. Look at all you could have.”

I laugh and pinch a crispy rasher from the plate beside him, “Mm, yeah, the ‘if I drop out of college and move to another continent’ life.”

“All I keep saying is that you wouldn’t regret it.”

“Is that what this is all about, then?” I tease, “You’re on your best behaviour so that you can manipulate me, right? And then as soon as you have me in your dastardly clutches you’ll try to turn me into a Born-Again Christian wife who cooks and cleans and-”

“Yes,” he whirls around to circle my waist with one arm and kiss me, “That’s what I’m doing, I actually fucking hate cooking, this is just part of my plan to ensnare you.”

I gasp, “I can’t believe it, it’s all been a ruse! All of the sex and the sweet talk, you’re going to take it all away from me.”

He scoffs, “No, c’mon, not the sex, not even the evil version of myself would want to give that up.”

“I didn’t think so.”

“Now that you’ve brought it up, do you feel like it now?” He keeps one hand on the frying pan while he boldly slides the other down the back of my pyjama shorts, “I can hold the eggs for a few minutes.”

I laugh, “No, sorry, I need food now.”

He gasps, “Offended.”

“It’s Friday, remember?”

He nuzzles into my cheek and gently bites my earlobe, “No I’ve no clue what day it is anymore, they’ve all just blended together.”

“Well it is,” I grab his cheeks with one hand, “I have therapy at eleven.”

“Oh! I forgot, well, eat, quick,” He passes me a plate and starts loading it up with eggs and toast and then gives me a cup of black coffee that’s so strong that I have to assume he made it for himself before deciding I needed it first. “You should ask Helen what she thinks about Los Angeles,” he says. 

“I assume she thinks what everyone else thinks: That it’s overpriced and a haven for violent crime.”

He snorts, “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I’ll talk to her about it. Maybe she’ll have something wise to say.”

“As is her job.”

I split the yolk of my egg thoughtfully, “Did the movie studio give you a time limit to make a decision about the internship?”

“I told them I needed to think it over, but, um,” he clears his throat, “ideally I’d be able to give them an answer by Monday, you know?”

“I know,” it’s a bit hard to swallow my food all of a sudden, “just, Monday is soon.”

“Yeah. I suppose I just don’t want them to risk taking the offer away.”

“And London?”

“Nothing again today, so I mean, unless they give me some crumbs early next week, I…” he trails off. 

“I’ll see what Helen says,” I decide, and he cooks for himself while I finish my breakfast

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