#i sometimes hate my job because of them :') | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

transmascissues · 4 months

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today, my coworkers’ refusal to see me as a man put one of our patients in a position where they felt unsafe for the third time. i’ve been at this job for less than two months total. i don’t even care about getting misgendered anymore, i just want the people we’re supposed to be taking care of to feel comfortable around me.

i work at a hospital where we have to supervise our patients in a lot of vulnerable situations. there are safeguarding rules in place for certain things that male employees aren’t allowed to be present for when it comes to female patients. and yet, the people training me and telling me what to do have repeatedly put me in situations where i’ve been forced to do things that the female patients aren’t comfortable with me doing. and because they have repeatedly failed to teach me the rules for doing my job as a man, i have no way of knowing when i’m crossing one of those lines unless one of the patients tells me.

i’ve had to watch a victim of SA stare at me in abject terror as my coworkers asked her to strip naked with me still in the room. it took several minutes for her to even be able to speak enough to ask if i could leave the room. i found out after that she broke down crying the moment i walked out. my biggest regret is that i didn’t realize what was happening fast enough to leave before she ever had to say something, because she shouldn’t have had to say it. i never should’ve been allowed in the room in the first place, because that’s not something male employees are supposed to be present for. but i didn’t know that yet, because i was training and i thought surely, they wouldn’t train me to do something that directly violated their own safeguarding rules. that moment was the first time, and it’s haunted me ever since, but it wasn’t the last time. not only did it happen for the third time today — it almost happened for the fourth, and would have if someone hadn’t spoken up to say they should pick someone else. i care for these people so deeply, it’s why i took this job, and i’m so tired of hearing the fear in their voices when they have to ask me not to do something i never should’ve been told to do.

i’m very used to the personal discomfort of being misgendered. i willingly deal with it a lot at work as well as in other situations, not because i’m in the closet (at this point in my medical transition that would be impossible), but because it’s such a frequent occurrence with my coworkers that we would never get anything done if i took the time to correct them every time. but to see it get to the point of causing such visceral discomfort in other people? people i’m supposed to be taking care of and keeping safe? that’s something else entirely, and i’m fucking exhausted.

and after all of that, some of them still look at me like i have two heads when they tell me what to do and i say “i can’t do that, only female employees can” because i’m learning now. clearly i’m already seen as a man by our patients, but my coworkers would still rather put them in an unsafe situation than just train me as a man.

#to be clear it’s four different things they’ve asked me to do that im not supposed to #as soon as i find out about one rule they ask me to violate a different one that i didn’t know about #i will never ever forget that girl’s face and i’ll never stop being angry for her #for all three of them but especially her #i hate my coworkers for a million different reasons #the patients are the only reason i didn’t quit this job after the first day #i just want to do right by them and sometimes it feels like i’m the only one working there who does #it kills me because the patients who know im trans have been so great about it too #most of them know nothing about trans people but they’re so willing to learn and so respectful and we’ve had such great conversations #they’re getting fucked over by someone else’s transphobia when they themselves don’t have a single transphobic bone in their bodies #i hate this place because i care about the people in it too much to stand by the way it treats them and it’s killing me #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia

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ohitslen · 1 year

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College (uni??) AU catering to my own interests as it should always be hehe :)

#projecting my major on Vash because them mfs who have changed from the med field majors to that one have some tragic things to tell #and also because I think that Vash would be such a wonderful designer I don’t know why it’s a gut feeling #Nai the law major because of course he would have you seen the guy #he would be a personal injury lawyer because lore #fun fact Nai rested for a semester after the incident with Vash while Vash took two.He never told Nai he would be changing majors #so it was a big big shock for him. they fought again but yk I’ll explain more on that if anyone is interested #as to Kni and WW I thought it’d be funny if they shared a common subject that required a lot of team assignments #and they can NEVER work out together. being an absolute nightmare to the rest of their group #separately they are great to work with. even if Kni can come off as too bossy sometimes he is actually a great leader #and WW would always deliver things on time exactly as it was asked from him #but Kni and WW just never really matched. Kni was too rude at times when WW made a mistake and WW would always clock him if he passed a line #like insulting his reasons for wanting to study security #one day Kni tells him at the beginning of a new semester where they both have unfortunately landed on a shared subject again #“you are not suited for that sort of job Wolfwood. you should simply give up and why don’t you go play role model to your little kids’’#then WW beats him again and then is like hey yk what you’re kinda right. and changed majors and he feels so much more at home studying #education/teaching than security. he fucking hates some things but the end goal makes it worthy #Trigun Uni! AU #because I don’t know how differently a college and a uni work #trigun #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun stampede #vashwood #trigun fanart #wolfwood #vash #Nai saverem #millions knives #lenssi draws #pen!

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remyfire · 24 days

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When the writer agonies hit.

#just had a really anxious and agonized moment where i found myself hoping that every gift i have ever given someone as a writer #is one that they have deeply enjoyed and that i did a good job by making something just for them and that they remember it fondly #and not as a total disappointment or a letdown in any way #and there's no way to ever know that because you simply must be kind when you receive a gift #especially one that they made with their own two hands #so i'm just hovering suddenly in the thought loop of anxiety that maybe i have never written a thing for someone that they liked actually #which is so fucking ridiculous and i am hoping i can shock my system out of it maybe with cold air from opening my window #because i really don't want to hate my writing today #i really want to believe that i do a good job and that people like it #that i gave them something wonderful and irreplaceable that no one else could have delivered exactly like that #that they remember it sometimes or reread it and smile #that it exists in perpetuity instead of disappearing in a cloud of smoke #that i made even one shred of difference with my craft #my ramblings

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muttsandmustelidae · 2 months

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i feel like the way ‘dogtok’/‘dogstagram’ talks about reactivity makes reactive dog owners feel a lot more ashamed than they ought to

#idk i just.. don’t really see anything to be ashamed about? and i hate the ‘your dog is reactive because you FAILED’ mindset #sometimes you do absolutely everything right and the universe still throws some shit at you that leads to reactivity #and it’s just a thing that happens sometimes #dogs are animals with teeth and claws and fur and tails #they shit outside and roll in dead things and sniff each others butts #and sometimes have big feelings about things #and that’s just part of being a little critter #it’s not a moral failing on anyone’s part that your dog is a dog instead of a cardboard cutout of a dog #not everything goes smoothly 100% of the time and sometimes you end up with an extra Thing that needs to be worked on #and yeah of course Working On It can be stressful. no one wants to see their dog having a hard time. which is exactly why we don’t need to #-be pushing the added stress of GUILT #it’s not helpful to anyone. it doesn’t prevent reactivity in the future. it just makes someone who’s already having a hard time have a-#-worse one #this is not a situation that needs blame #idk if any of this makes sense #my meds are making me a lil weird lmao #@ everyone who has a reactive dog: you’re doing a great job and if anyone tries to make you feel guilty #eat them #keep Workin On It and remember that Dogs Is Dogs #kill the goblin in your brain that tells you you’re the worst guy to have ever done it #you’re normal your dog is normal. give both of you a cookie rn

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srldesigns6277 · 24 days

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#personal #sometimes i wish i knew what it was like to be someone people want to talk to #or at least had students who could listen to what i say for just five minutes #god i hate yelling then they say thats all i do when if i talked normally no one fucking listens #then i take it way too hard when they say they dont like me when at least i stepped up to take their class #a class that had already ran off one teacher #but no im too useless because i actually make them do work and tried to have rules #last year was hard but at least i felt fulfilled by the end of the year with all my classes #i have never craved the end of the year so much or as much as i have this year #its not even both classes either its just this one that makes me dread working with them as much as they apparently hate me #sadly i can understand why their teacher left #and i know im not the best replacement since im learning how to teach them as they learn from me #but im just tired #its only a month left but i am so ready to never see any of them again #but depression does as it does and makes me question if im even good enough to get another job #one actually teaching my correct subject that i love #i hope like hell that i get a job and one i really want because i dont want to have to come back to this school #*it has the most substitute jobs #i dont like being loud even if no one believes me i dont like being mean though i know when i have too i just dont feel good enough #if i was i think i would have a job by now i mean im 28 and its been 5 schools in 5 years #sorry being sad on main #if you read this #thanks

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todaviia · 2 months

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#The funniest thing abt my job is that I am now an expert re the most obscure border and law changes in Europe 1918-1990 #Did you know that the Saarland had a quite liberal citizenship law in the years of its existence as an independent state 1948-1956 #which means formerly stateless Jewish Saarländer and their descendants are sometimes Germans without knowing it #did you know what a headache the whole Danziger Korridor thing Was?#Also Danzig had its own citizenship 1920-1939 BUT Poland hated this and since Danzig had no foreign consulates #these matters were handled by Poland for Danzigers abroad... except Polish consulates usually just handed them Polish passports #Also all of the formerly Russian empire Jews who lived abroad when that fell apart just... did whatever they wanted #I've seen one guy who was listed as simultaneously Polish and stateless who somehow talked a small Austrian village #into giving him a passport because his last residence within kuk borders was Vienna #I know ppl on here know but... national identity and citizenship and so on is so incredibly made up

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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year

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mordecai is the first funny bitch like spends 90% of his time literally just standing there going "i'm dapressed" to himself while everyone in the vicinity takes potshots and then he's clocking in for the night shift where for the next 9 hours people go "god mordecai would it kill you to act like you're having more fun at the [kills you] factory"

#The First Funny Bitch as a phrase from the ''cain was the first funny bitch'' post that i will use with some flexibility. yaknow.#i love going like oh boy a coworker triumvirate. their funny little guy (other duo going ''i want him dead'')#though it's unfair to the savoys lmfao if he's at best sometimes a desk toy to them: they do at least keep calling him babygirl #and giving him special mordecai invitations (by not inviting him) to their hotel room to try to marry him #so if nothing else we do appreciate adding a ton of flair to [afflicting the autistic coworker]#in turn i appreciate that mordecai and viktor's dynamic probably consisted of mutual ''i Do Not Care if my coworker seems weird''#but outside of that; was anyone at lackadaisy aggrieving mordecai with the style & variety that the savoys bring....perhaps not #an upgrade in that realm....and there seems to be Some mutual [i do not care if my coworker seems weird] there again too lol #even while they've all probably been working together like half a week & haven't all worn their getalong sweater long enough #and already mordecai is doing his [not just literally standing there] rogue lone mystery solving deal lmao. wild card that he is #lackadaisy #oh also speaking of [before mordecai went grr i Hate still working here; ripped off the fridge door; went & got a new Hated job]#it's pure bonus comic realm & particularly Elevated Silly Goofs genre at that; but #points for ivy having that Younger Sibling dynamic w/mordecai w/the implication she takes his forbidden condiments index seriously #and like; in general lol not even just a [it's serious when it comes to dealing with this weird guy] way. all the more powerful for that #wait i nearly forgot to mention the hot new otp: mordecai / j.j.#that's right [sad trombone] providing guy. i know enough. first funny bitch 4 first funny bitch.#[guy doing his own thing & everyone's like Get His Ass] 4 [guy doing his own thing & everyone's like Get His Ass]#and ofc because it is funny in & of itself. & basically like Your New OC. so much room to maneuver that you cannot crash #also hmm like if your nickname for someone is Maybe ''annoying mf'' does it cancel out....eh #numbers flying around intense focus like everything points to ''hatchet would directly translate to hatchette not petit hache''#and if you mon petit hache it (read this w/such a meter that it all rhymes)#900 tons of restraint not going ''wow this is just like analyzing billions'' & by even saying i've managed to avoid as much; now i haven't

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early-october-skies · 1 month

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Me when we don't speak anymore by bears in trees

#lizzierants #had a sudden unplanned job interview today. i wanted to cry the whole time but managed to keep it together and now the anxiety has suddenly #caught up to me and it feels BAD the sudden thought of that what if my friends just dont actually like me and they like me purely because #theyre worried for what would become of me if they stopped being friends with me when purely of course id be fine eventually but i worry #that cause im on antidepressants people just think im automatically suicidal when something bad goes wrong which is not the case im doing #good i dont want to die but what if all my friends hate me what if this whole time i have loved them so so much and they just tolerate me #someday my friends will die and i had that i hate that someday we wont be friends even if its decades in the future i love all of them with #my heart that sometimes i feel it is overfilling i love them i love them and what am i without them i am everything i have ever loved i am #overthinking however i cannot stop this what if my own best friend is avoiding me? why am i thinking this? what evidence do i have to back #this up? nothing only for the fact my own brain feels as though i love people too much and they are uncomfortable with it i feel awful wtf #i have learned to keep my emotions from people because i dont want them to worry. i dont want people to do something or not do something bec #ause they think it will upset me i want people do do as they please i want to be open for my friends to share their issues i want to help #and im sitting here wirrying if they hate me so i turn here to shout in the void because the only person i know irl who follows me on here #most likely doesnt read these tags and if you are please ingore this i misjudged your terrible attention span also i love you very much #anyway a few weeks ago i realised my worst fear is no longer death. but the death of my friendship with my beloved friend. and thats fucking #terrifying prospect however if they were to be like yo i dont like you anymore id respect that decision and id be okay because their happine #is the most important thing to me and thats okay but i couldnt bare with the fact that they feel like they had to be ffiends with me because #they have to. i hate the prospect of them feeling trapped in a friendship theh dont want to be in. all the while i feel i cannot communicate #this to anyone because how would i go about it im very anxious i am shaking i am having a bad time very bad time actually im going to start #crying but its okay <3 crying is good for stress and health and its been a while since ive cried so maybe this will help me feel better <3 #i will heal and ill be okay <3

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dolokhoded · 3 months

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i need to go to sleep right now but i've got zimon in the brain and i know i won't be able to sleep until i do something to get him out of the brain but i can't get up to draw right now and i sure as hell can't get up to write that would take me around 11 years so i'll just sit here and rotate him in my mind like a burnt chicken

#🧅#im remaking the apostle designs too. just. a lot of disciple disease lately.#if there was more aro representation in media i wouldn't cling to the two characters i hc as aro so i can actually do it in a non shitty wa #and I wouldn't be up thinking about them right now and i wouldn't go to sleep late and i'd be abke to study tomorrow and actually get into #uni and get a degree and find a job a d have a life. so if i get nowhere in life it's actually because society hates aromantic people.#man why did i give up on writing. if i could write right now i could just. write all thr concepts out of my head instead of keeping them #up there.#pfft. ''the two characters i hc as aro'' as if i don't cast aro spells on Everyone Ever.#whatever you get james and simon are my blorbos of choice atm #if i could at least get over my current wave if Aromantic Rage so i could actually make ship content and post some jesus/judas along with #all the aro people so people would care about them more :/#queerbaiting you guys so you consume content about Other type of queers #man. i hate when this happens it alienates me from fandom So much . cause like the second people start talking about ships im like 'cool'#*fades out like that giy doing the peace sign*#and i know its not my actual Opinion either i like these ships it's just. auugghfhfh.#not to mention everyone making amazing ship content and not even being able to check it out because i get irrationally pissed #sometimes i wish i weren't aro so bad #sometimes. then i remember it's awesome and aromanticism is god's masterpiece and i love it. but man.

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winchester-with-wings · 1 year

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The final season of The Flash has been so disappointing...

There have been some small moments, I’ll admit that. It was great to see Oliver in tonight’s episode, a great callback to the origin of the Arrowverse! But aside from that, season nine has been so...ick?...bleh...UGH!

It feels like the writers were just phoning it in and didn’t care anymore about how the show--and ultimately the Arrowverse--ended and I think it’s a true disservice to the fans.

Characters we love are being written off or killed off, and then forgotten about. Caitlin died off-screen and no one grieved her. Joe left town but they didn’t want to write off Cecille, so they have a weird arrangement for a couple raising a little girl.

Little to no effort to acknowledge characters from previous seasons like Cisco. No one ever talks about him even though he and Barry were so close. Why the hell wouldn’t he be at their baby shower or Barry’s 30th birthday?!

Introducing characters that we won’t even have time to get to know or care about like Khione.

The Red Death storyline was terrible with bad writing and bad acting.

Random villains we barely remember keep showing up. Seriously I have look them up because this show was never really good with “Previously On...” recaps

A ridiculous “will they/won’t they/who cares” between Chester and Allegra

Cameos from side characters from the Arrowverse, instead of committing to bring in the bigger characters. Like bringing in Nia but not Kara. And Diggle has been dropping in on all the shows as if they’re teasing a spin-off or something. Was he going to be the Green Lantern at some point? WTF?

Finally...Failure to follow through on the Hall of Justice. seriously...if this is the end of the official Arrowverse, they should’ve used this opportunity to tie things up. “Superman & Lois” is doing well but they haven’t relied heavily on the Arrowverse tie-ins. “Legends of Tomorrow” was canceled with a freaking cliffhanger. Honestly...”Stargirl” seemed like it was taking place on another Earth but it did a better job of honoring the Justice Society of America in their last episode, than Arrowverse was with the Hall of Justice.

UGH! I’m just so frustrated! I’ve never been so disappointed in a show I’ve followed and loved from the beginning. It almost makes me feel like I wasted my time watching and loving this show....all for the network and writers to put out a final season that shows they have no idea how it was supposed to end and now it just needs to be put out of it’s misery.

#The Flash #The Flash Final Season #The Flash spoilers #I've never felt this way before #I feel kinda...betrayed #I put so much time into writing my stories about Barry and the writers couldn't even be bothered to do their job?#I'm watching because I love Barry and I love Grant and I need to know how it ends but t I'm just so disappointed #and sad tbh #I don't like to hate on shows or movies #usually I can find something good in them #Right now the only good thing about it is Grant Gustin #and sometimes he's not even the focus of the episode!#my posts #rant #arrowverse #CW #cw vent

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bl00dw1tch · 6 months

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It is so fucking funny how someone telling me to do something is the fastest and easiest way to get me to want to Actively grind my life back to halt instead.

#horse.txt #vent //#its dumb. im being dumb let me be clear. this is about getting a fucking job. writing my resume. my mom told me i need to #'start getting serious' about it #and i do. i do.#im just. ghhhh i feel like im going to fucking explode. its so easy its so easy everybody has to do it i dont get to be fucking special #but knowing that never fucking Means anything i can know that like its tattooed to my eyelids and it doesn't change the fact that #i have no idea what the fuck to do #i have lists and lists and lists of advice and tips and help and links and i appreciate them bc at least now i have a foundation to jump off #but i still can't fucking get through them #i cant figure it out. its right there but the second i start to try i run into some roadblock and i start freaking the fuck out #and then i cant fucking go back to it bc by then ive spent an hour crying and im too tired to do anything but sit and cry some more #i hate the fucking options here. i hate the options everywhete. i dont want to fucking work dude im just. im not fucking there #but theres no other fucking option and people get so fucking mean when you try to say that bc im just being fucking lazy lazy lazy #i dont know. if i am im not sure i care that much anymore #im just tired of feeling so fucking miserable and useless but it's hard to ignore because i just amm!!!!!#the only thing i can do better than some people is draw and the idea of doing That for a job makes me feel sick to my stomach #man. i dont know. idk #sometimes i just have to catastrophize things to get it out of my system . iygiygi #ill be fine #just might be a tense Christmas apparently.

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potatoesandsunshine · 5 months

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thought about alistair again. taking psychic damage.

#'he hates being king' that's what makes it GOOD FOR THE STORY #he's a WARDEN. his job is to stop the blight through ANY MEANS. and that INCLUDES taking the throne.#sometimes i just imagine how he wakes up every day and hates what his life is and it makes me crazy sorry everyone #like is my surana doing GOOD? no. but at least she's not alistair.#the HoF mention in da2 was wild like does this mean it only took them nine years to bury the hatchet?#so there's that little sliver of hope. if he can stand to be in the same room as her they've made leagues of progress #the alistair arc that she takes is like. he's fine i guess. wham ostagar. this is my brother i will do anything for him. wham landsmeet.#this is my brother whom i have betrayed. wham archdemon. he can't look at me but I don't regret this. wham amaranthine.#i am leaving ferelden because genuinely what the hell. wham nine years. teagan says she's returning to the capital. alistair is pleased.

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mihrsuri · 10 months

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I genuinely think if someone who was an authority figure had sat Varice Kingsford down and said ‘it is more than okay to want to be a cook mage who helps people/makes things look pretty and you do not have to be responsible for your friend who is becoming profoundly abusive’ that would have helped a lot.

#book: tamora pierce #ozorne is an abusive controlling possessive dick and I hate him but also THE TRAGEDY #Varice is…listen one day I will unpack the ‘enabling ozorne’ question #(though I do think her saying ‘I begged. sometimes it helps’ is horrific #(she could not entirely shut her eyes)#(I don’t think she ever could)#(but she’s absolutely been trained to believe it’s her job to fix/look after Ozorne and that’s her use in the world)#(also the only way she can do what she wishes)#(which is not to say there isn’t a complicity in the system)#but g-d Varice my girl #I think she wants Arram back because it will repair them? obviously? Repair ozorne? that’s their job? right?#ot3: make better choices ozorne

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yohankang · 6 months

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Honey, this might be very rude. But like what is your job. I want to save you from the that hell hole bro.

Please do not misunderstand nor feel pressured to answer.

I just hope it gets better.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

i'm an office manager which means that i'm responsible for all the paperwork (all invoices go through me), calls and emails. and i act like an assistant to basically everyone in our office. including shit like booking flights and hotels and taking care of everyone's cars and insurances etc. buying office supplies, taking care of how our office looks, making tea & coffee for guests, booking rooms, making sure our management signs the papers on time etc. etc. etc.

doesn't sound that bad but the 'acting like an assistant' is tricky. because i get like 20 daily requests from people to take care of something asap. like, paying a fine, calling some place to ask about something, scheduling a meeting, making changes in booking, registering a car etc.

now it's extra stressful bc i'm organizing a christmas party for 120+ people and it's not easy when you need to book hotels for 30 people, book a restaurant, decide on a menu, confirm attendance etc. and your guests are dickheads who don't care if you have to change their reservation 4 times in 3 days.

#and there is no one who can replace me when it's needed. like when i took a week off it took me another 2 weeks to catch up with work #because some things are easy but it would take weeks of training to thoroughly prepare someone to do my job #and no one has time for this because they have their own jobs and duties #but despite this my coworkers help me as much as they can :') and they really support me #there's only one department full of shitheads and 90% of my problems originate there lmao most of the company hates them #tbh most of my problems would be solved if they just hired another person and split the work between us but #it's always been one person so 🤡#and sometimes it gets really calm and i don't have anything to do for a few hours. it's been months since something like that happened but #it happened a few times in the past lol #answered #i really can't quit this job because it pays well (i mean for a person with no degree). and out of obligation.#i need to finish my degree because now there's no way i would find something that could pay my rent 😭#but i promised myself i won't stay here for longer than 2 years unless they offer me a different position #but until then you have to listen to my complaining every day agkdgjdfj sorry

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timeisacephalopod · 2 years

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Armchair diagnosis is a scourge and I say this because zero people diagnose people they like with mental illnesses, and when they diagnose people they hate they're always psycho/sociopaths or narcissists and I am begging people to understand why diagnosing exclusively people you hate with highly stigmatized mental illnesses simply because you don't like them is insanely ableist. If you'd never diagnose someone you love and respect as a narcissist then you shouldn't be throwing that label around as a way to scarlet letter people you don't like- that is not a symptom of mental illness. Not to mention zero people who do this are in any way qualified professionals in the mental health field either.

NDP or being a psycho/sociopath isn't shorthand for "Bad Person Disease" and the sooner people learn that the better.

#winters ramblings #and if you ARE a professional diagnosing random people you dont like online then return your qualifications #because you are sbit at your job and dangerous to your patients acting like that id NEVER accept therapy from someone #who was willing to start handing out diagnosis on TWITTER of all things #but everyone ELSE?? yall really need to stop pretending everyone you hate is a psychopath JUST because you hate them #thats not what a psychopath IS and being a psychopath isnt shorthand for being a bad person #ZERO mental illnesses are 'bad people disease' and everyone who armchair diagnoses people needs that hammered #through their thick fucking skulls because im tired of seeing it. even my mom does this sometimes #and i have to point out that no one in our family is qualified to diagnose anyone with anything and fitting a list of symptoms #on webmd doesnt mean shit and ALSO would you diagnose ME as a psychopath narcissist? no? then dont label anyone ekse like that #because when you do youre saying having those conditions makes you a Bad Person and thats absurd??#psycho/sociopaths and narcissists arent bad people because they have those conditions. they CAN be bad people of course #but thats not due EXCLUSIVELY to their mental illness wtf stop fucking treating people like this

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theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 1 year

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Me, age seven: Energetic but bored only child who constantly asked for their parents to adopt one of the kids in those “find me a home” news specials. Begged on their hands and knees to go to public school so they could meet people their age and get acclimated to society.

Me, age twenty: Apathetic, jaded adult who views any amount of communication as excruciatingly laborious. Is either indifferent or hateful to most people their age. Wants to wander off into a forest so they can die alone in some remote tar pit.

#When I say “hateful” I mean that seeing teens/young adults do normal things like hanging out in stores and laughing out loud grates on me #I never got to do that #I don’t want to be a killjoy though… it’s not a healthy mindset and I should be glad they can feel happiness but… damn #I don’t say anything; I just scowl internally and walk in the other direction #You’d never know it from watching me on the job though. I feel more comfortable around little kids because my job is to protect them #I have a reason for being where I am; and anyone who tries to hurt my babies will get their eyeballs ripped out of their skull /hj #And kids aren’t acclimated to verbal communication all the way (neither am I)#so I find I understand their words better and they understand my words better than most adults would #My little inarticulate buddies (affectionate) (I’m actually more inarticulate than they are sometimes LOL)#If you had— you— you— you want— if you… could do so much you could do anything?#< me speaking with a fried brain (which is all the time now)

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