#but no im too useless because i actually make them do work and tried to have rules

[srldesigns6277]

.

[nyx-is-missing]

Graceland too

Clarisse la rue x fem!reader (Athena's kid)

Sumarry: When a certain daughter of Athena felt unappreciated her whole life, someone was there to see her.

Warnings: Sad girl hours, shitty parenthood, hurt/comfort because im no monster and probably other things wich i forgot.

a/n: look who is back!

Demigod.

Half blood.

Half a goddess.

Half a human (?).

And yet, fully a disappointment.

When Athena sent me to my Dad's house, in a golden crib, dressed in pure white dress, glowing, how the myths would expect a demigod to be, then, and only right then i was a gift.

A piece o divine love, something to prove to him, till the end of his life, that at some point, he was good enough for a Goddess.

But days after, immediately, i was just a crying baby, hungry, with a busy father, without a mother, and that only made him remember that, that was it.

He wasnt good enough for her, she wasnt staying, she never even actually even considered, he would never have that kind of honour, only a crying baby he never expected.

I wasnt a gift anymore, it actually felt like i was a insult, everything about me started to enrage him.

And oh, how did he reminded me of that every single day of my existence.

When i got diagnosed with dyslexia all i've heard whas that Athena gave me up to him because i was defective, when i couldnt sit still during classes, and exploded with all the repression i suffered everyday, suddently i was a clock bomb, when my grades where great, i was never rewarded, it was "the least i could do, to make up for the shame that i was".

I was never loved, never wanted, never encouraged, at least not by him.

The very little love i've known in my life, i own to the people who felt pitty of me.

The teachers, the neighbours who have heard the insults, the stray animals who could sense sadness, the very old grandparents who never actually saw me more than twice a year, and the people who worked at a nerby library, who let me stay past closing time, leaving only with the cleaners.

I was 12 when he had enough and sent me to camp, literally the very day school was over.

I came home to my clothes packed and him waiting by the car keys.

Being in camp for the first time, was also the very first time in my life i have ever felt....normal.

Not good, not bad, not great, not terrible, i was one, and that was enough.

I spend that summer being quiet, i sat in the corner, i didnt spoke, i didnt interrupted, i didnt had any ideas, i wasnt good enough to do that, thats what i've been told my whole life, thats my true.

It took a whole new summer for Athena to claim me.

I have always wondered if she was fighting with herself, if she had any problems having to admit that she made a mistake, with me, or with him.

It didn't matter, for the first time i had brothers and sisters, who wanted me, who understood when i wasnt the best, who asked for my graded tests, to put up in the wall.

They understood when i was hard to crack, when i insisted in being quiet, when i wouldnt share my ideas, they understood it all.

I didn't.

Each and every new summer i spent there, all i could ask myself was:

Why could i not be great like all of them?

Why im still afraid?

Why i was still useless?

Im now sixteen and the same questions still were unanswered.

And today i felt worse than ever.

It was my birthday, and i havent got a single letter from him, nothing, nothing.

It felt like he was saying i wasnt worth anything again.

Earlier, i tried to pretend nothing was happening, smiling with my siblings, finally making plans for capture the flag, finally belonging like i promissed i would try to do that year.

My plan was used, it wasnt perfect, but it was used, and surprising myself and the other team, we won.

I could see the other team confused, and Clarisse cussing us to death.

Still i was so happy, for the first time in my life i showed myself, and i worked....partially.

The happiness of victory didnt last much in me, because i saw a new brother of mine almost bursting to tears, he was young and just got claimed a few days ago, he wasnt used to that, and he wasnt supose to get hurt, but the red that painted his arms said otherwise.

I couldnt stare at him without feeling like i failed again.

Why couldnt i be perfect for once?

I took him to infirmary and held his hand while he was getting his stiches, saying sorry all the time.

I tried thinking it was okay, people get hurt, move on.

I had diner, i took a bath, i tried to sleep, i couldnt.

The tears were falling down and i knew i wouldn't be quiet.

So i got up and walked to the cabin's porch, sitting on the last step and letting my head fall to my knees.

Why couldnt i be great?

Why couldnt i be in peace with myself?

Why couldnt my mom bless me?

Why couldnt my dad love me?

Why did he had to be so mean?

I was a kid for fucks sake.

"Are you okay?" I heard someone saying, that made me freeze, that voice was not from any of my sisters, was i crying so hard i woke up someone from other cabin?

"I- yes, sorry i didn't knew i was crying so hard to wake people from other cabins, im sorry"

"You didn't, i was sneaking out to train some more, and saw you, our cabins face each other"

That was...Clarisse?

I wiped my tears and look up, she was staring at me with a almost worried look

"Clarisse?"

"Yes, why are you crying?"

She sat down by my side, dropping a sword in the grass.

"Its nothing really, im fine, you dont need to bothe-"

"No, cut the crap" she stopped me mid sentence "no one ever weeps in the middle of the night out of happiness, you are not fine and im not letting you lie OR leave until you tell me what it is"

We stare at each other, and ill need to thank the night light being bad because i probably look like crap right now, im sure my eyes are red, my nose too, im probably with a very swollen face and id bet all the dracmas i own that my hair its no better than a nest of birds.

"Go on...tell me"

I layed myself in the stairs, looking at the sky, trying to think of a way to tell everything, without sounding crazy

"I dont deserve to be here, Clarisse."

"Here..where?"

"This cabin, i dont deserve to be called daughter of the goddess of wisdom, i dont deserve being here with them, my siblings they are great, more than good, great, they will do great things with themselfs, amazing writers, architects, brilliant musicians, historians, why am i here? Im not even good, why im with the great?"

"Wait wait wait" she made me sit down again and look at her "not even good? What are you talking about? Wasnt the strategy in the last capture the flag yours? Yall won, and if somebody asks me later i've never said this but that was good, some really good strategy, i was almost thinking of asking chiron to switch you teams, you were great, more than that, and now you're here telling me you are not egen good? Are you on drugs?"

"Clarisse you dont need to pretend you care that much, and my plan wasnt all that, my brother got hurt, that wasnt supose to happen, i failed him, if i was good enough he wouldnt even be there"

She had a very confused look on her face, like she really did not knew what i was talking about.

"You're not talking about the little boy you took to the infirmary and that small cut in his forearm are you? Cause that boy was far from almost dying like you are making it sound like-" she looked at my eyes, i didnt needed a mirror to have sure how i was, i've seen myself like that too much to count, everytime my dad said i wasnt good enough, sad, lifeless.

"I failed again Clarisse, im not good enough to be here, im useless, worthless"

She looked at me and did the last thing i tought she would, Clarisse hugged me.

"Dont say that, c'mon, worthless? I've seen you fight, i've seen your plans, you dont talk much but i've heard your ideas, you are far from being useless or worthless, who the fuck told you that?"

"My f- you heard me?" I looked at her, only to see a look i couldnt distinguish "what do you mean?"

She looked at her own feet, then at her sword, reflecting the moonlight.

"You really dont know?" She looks at me "i- well, i've heard you, the same way i see you everyday, thats how i know you like morning walks, sweet green grapes, baked goods...how i know you are probably the only child of Athena who has never read "the art of war", that you walk without looking at peoples faces....its weird, i've seen you so much throughout this years and it feels like this is the first time you are actually seeing me"

"But i've saw you before-"

"Thats not what i was saying, you looked at me many times, but did you ever saw me until today?"

I looked at her blinking, and after a moment of silent i said "you like dark chocolate, and lemon flavoured soda, and sneaking out to train when the harpies take their breaks, by the way you missed that, and you always ask for double the quantity of food you eat, so when you burn it you still can eat enough, by the way i stole that idea-"

She is smilling, big, really big, i think i am too.

Of course i saw Clarisse, who wouldnt, she was strong, brave, beautiful, to me was a wonder she didnt had people running to get her attention.

She got closer to me "does that mean i can-" i stopped her mid sentence again

"Maybe..."

"Im going to make you forget that "im not good enough" nonsense, belive me"

She is smilling while kissing me, and i am too.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for wanting to stay in an important team position?

(For reference: 🎮🎮🤖)

(Sorry for the long post and any bad grammar!!)

So i (16F) am in a robotics team at my school, we take part in a pretty big national and global competition called FIRST.

recently my team got through to national stages, which is a MASSIVE deal, not exactly an everyday occurrence.

Our robot requires two drivers, one for the main body, and one for the arm. The whole time we’ve had the robot working, i have been the arm driver (apart from a couple lunchtime sessions where other people tried it out briefly) and took part in the actual qualifying rounds. I’m also the CAD designer so i designed the claw part and know what i have to do to make it move in the correct fashion and not damage it. My friend Pen (not any real names ofc) is the main body driver and has spent so much time working on the robot no one is disputing her driving.

The problem comes in with two people - Plane and Bolt. I’ve never particularly gotten on with Plane, while ive been kind of neutral with Bolt. There’s no active hostile feelings with us at the moment, but they have been pretty aggressive to people in the past, gatekeeping roles and new people joining - they had a huge fight on the team group chat over it with my friend Keyboard. They also tried to stop Pen (who was originally doing software) and another person in our team (ill call her Remote) from being engineers, but im the end Plane and Bolt did none of the hard work, doing very easy things while Remote and Pen were left doing all the manual work on the body, while i attached the arm.

Both Plane and Bolt decided in the week before the qualifying event that they wanted to drive the arm, and that we should rotate at the event. Thankfully the supervising teacher got involved and told them no, i had put in the time, he guessed maybe they could try do some more practise before the national event. Me and Pen were drivers in that and are now in the top 19% of global drivers, which i am insanely happy about. Despite being ill the day of the event, Plane was the human player, which means you still get to be around the field while not directly touching the controllers or the robot, but can help.

The first session after the event, Plane comes up to me saying how badly she wanted to be the driver and she was going to put in the practise. I told her that I didn’t want to be mean, please don’t take this the wrong way, but it depends on what our teacher says, and really, it’s a matter of skill. Me and Pen have had the time practising together, it’s not a personal attack on you. The next event is only 8 weeks away (a lot of that is holiday) so im really sorry, but it’s not up to me. You’ll have to take it up with the teacher.

She was obviously not happy with this and walked out of the room without saying anything else. I’m panicking that I was too rude but she’s been far more aggressive to me before and I haven’t got super pissed at her for it?

The rest of the team apart from Plane and Bolt agree with me, and I really want to stay driver because honestly I enjoy it. It’s something im good enough at as well, and I don’t super enjoy just sitting in the audience feeling useless.

Tumblr, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[berry-s0da]

AI “art”

Yesterday I argued with an idiot that thought giving directives to an AI makes you as much of an artist as someone that is actually capable of creating art. It’s extremely worrying that our youth is so incapable of understanding this topic, too self absorbed on their own rigid conception of reality and utterly detached from the real world and the importance of the people you share it with, of consequences, of tangibility. They don’t know how to define art, such a core concept for our species, they are unaware that it’s an exclusively human practice a machine cannot produce by itself or for them.

Some of Oxford Language Learner's Dictionary definitions if you want tangible sources for something that has existed for longer than any piece of technology;

Definition of an Artist: a person who creates works of art, especially paintings or drawings.

3 definitions of Art:

1) the use of the imagination to express ideas or feelings, particularly in painting, drawing or sculpture.

2) the skill of creating objects such as paintings and drawings, especially when you study it.

3) an ability or a skill that you can develop with training and practice.

(defining a piece through words could turn into literature, writing is an outlet for creativity and imagination too, the problem is that they want to claim a graphic piece they had no part on as their creation…which makes no sense for obvious reasons. This might blow your mind but you actually have to be involved in the making of a piece in order for it to be an artist. Writing a brief description of what you want the AI to make for you is not a form of creation, it’s a directive for a machine to do what you can’t)

If you don’t have mental resources, talent, skills, capacity of handling different tools, mediums and techniques then you are not an artist (and that’s okay), but you could be if you tried. Writing a prompt is not making art, everyone with enough mental capacity can come up with a concept for a piece, people that commission artists do that and that doesn’t automatically make them artists.

An AI won’t do shit the way you request it even if you say it does. An AI makes an interpretation of the request but asides from mild guidance, you have absolutely nothing to do with the process or the final “piece” (Frankenstein monster of already existing pieces, taken with or without consent).

An AI without regulation isn’t a new medium or something comparable to the fucking Industrial Revolutionjust, specially considering it isn’t a new, easier way to do the same task (like with an art software). It’s but a shameless way of reusing or straight up stealing pieces produced by the same artists you deem to be now useless and outdated. What you call the future is nothing but plagiarism, the usage of things that already existed in a much higher quality, a wonky replica that is only valued because it’s free for your cheap ass.

“Good artists have nothing to worry about, only shitty artists will disappear” im sorry you have to find out this way but every good artist had to be shit first. We reached a point where we are unaware of periods of time any artist needs in order to grow and develop. This logic is baffling because if only good artists are worth of being respected and having stable jobs then we’ll eventually run out of artists, which is not only silly but impossible. This is but an excuse to avoid the obvious issue that represents stepping over people and making it seem as a fair, natural process.

Finally, If you wanna draw, learn to draw first, nobody stops you but yourself. If you wanna paint learn to paint, if you wanna sculpt, learn to sculpt, if you wanna be an artist then get your ass to work. Not everything is laid out for you in life, you actually have to put work into something, as shocking as it sounds. There are people that draw masterpieces holding pencils on their mouths, you have no excuse other than self pity for being useless, being jealous of those that can actually make things and, ultimately, the unreserved, unapologetic disinterest in those affected by this monster y’all wanna have fun with.

[11queensupreme11]

Don't know if tumbler ate this or not. If it didn't im sorry for bugging!

How would the yans react to Chase actually raising their kids and raising them well? Like percy gave birth there, and Athonius ended up raising the babies well. Like the kids consider him, their father and the babies act like humans? They know he's not their actual dad but they don't care lol.

it didn't, i just have a lot of asks dw 💀

i love how you guys want anthonius dead SO BAD omfg 😭 this poor boy

(first off, let's pretend that zeus wouldn't try to kill the kids for being 75% god and being... well, percy's)

anyway, anthonius would be SUCH A GOOD DAD. i bet you he would study the myths centered around the kids' father so he would be prepared for anything, like what powers to expect, etc

the kid would grow up to love his parents and they would have a normal life in the human world. they'd go to school, make friends, go to camp, etc. they would also be a good person due to who their parents are; anthonius and percy would definitely tell them to kind to others, never to hurt mortals, always stand up for themselves and others, it's no surprise this kid turns out to be so good and so unlike their actual father 🥹🥹

but then shit hits the fan when the yanderes finally manage to get into her universe 💀

poseidon would absolutely be furious at the thought of being replaced by a mortal son of athena. he wouldn't see anthonius as a good father, he'd only focus on the flaws (and he sees a lot). percy and his kid might as well be living in poverty (they're not), how dare anthonius have them live in some crummy house amongst humans? his kid is attending school with inferior beings??? he sees those inferior beings as EQUAL??? anthonius is a dead man

hades would straight up ignore anthonius. it's like the dude's not even there. he'd be so proud of how good his kid is, he'd tell percy "you did such a great job at raising our child" as if anthonius didn't also help out. "but it's okay, i'm here now. you must've been so lonely hmm? 😊". he'll spare anthonius unless the blonde tries to fight, but he'd at least kill him quickly as a thanks for keeping percy and his kid safe

apollo would just straight up kidnap them both, doesn't even bother to kill anthonius, he's just snatching his loved ones up and bringing them back to their REAL home 💀💀 if anthonius is around and tries to stop him, apollo's gonna kill him, but if he's not around, anthonius gets to live but apollo would DEFINITELY curse him with some incurable painful disease

loki's going to be sooo pissed, but he'll play the long game. he'll change his appearance and actually pretend to be their neighbor and his kid's new school teacher,, etc. he is gonna plant himself into their lives and seduce percy and try to gain his kid's favor. afterwards, he'll purposely leave anonymous gifts to percy that rattles her because she would KNOW who they come from, but it can't be, right??? loki can't be here!!! when all's said and done, after he manages to seduce her from her husband, he'll reveal himself, kill anthonius, and take her and the kid back home

beelzebub would be like loki but less up-front. rather than disguising himself he would hide from her but find ways to ruin their peaceful life as a form of punishing her. anthonius will suddenly find himself out of a job and practically blacklisted from ever working again. lots of men are suddenly attacking percy in the streets, beel's way of showing her how much she needs him and how useless anthonius is because where is he? why isn't he protecting her? their kid is being kicked out of schools and blamed for stuff he didn't do. when she's finally at her lowest, he'll reveal himself to her, kill anthonius, and take her and their kid back. might wipe their memory too.

[chikkou]

ok i was waiting until my laptop got here to finally tell all the bullshit thats happened in the last like. 5 months lol. cause its a lot to type

im gonna put it all under the cut so no one has to read if they dont want. its a LONG fucking story.

tl;dr:

ok so for basic background, for the last two years or so, i was living with a roommate in connecticut. the roommate was my (now former) best friend since middle school. in july of this year his behavior totally shifted, and he started picking fights with me out of nowhere, told our high school friends a bunch of straight up lies abt me to make me look like a horrible roommate & person, and just generally became a two-faced dickhead. in the end, it turned out to all be excuses to justify his decision to move out (unofficially, name was still on the lease) so that he could live with his boyfriends and not pay any bills. at the time i was really devastated by this bc i felt totally betrayed by this person i had been close to since i was 12/13, but frankly after everything else that happened i barely fucking think about it now LMAO. this is set dressing more than anything else

so anyway, i had been living alone since about august, that was the last time i saw him in person. i wasnt handling the situation well because i had spoken to my high school friend and found out the extent to which hed tried to paint me as a slovenly, horrible roommate, to the point of telling actual lies about really dumb stuff (which didnt work btw - my friends, god bless them, were more concerned about my mental health than anything and thought i was going down a depression spiral, which my former friend told them he was helping me through. they believed me right away once we finally did talk). all that is to say, i was going kind of crazy lol, and i decided to go back home in october just for a short while, to recharge my batteries and all.

i was gone for a couple of weeks, not very long. i felt MUCH better after being with my family & friends in person, as i felt pretty isolated from everyone (my hometown is in new york, i was only 2 hours away by train but scheduling times to visit was sort of a hassle, so i only did it once every couple months). my grandfather and mom dropped me off at my apartment in early november, we were very lighthearted and discussing my next steps, since my shithead friend had been behind on rent more than 5 times (i always paid my half on time) and i was facing eviction because of it. we get to my apartment, i go to open the door, and it wont open. not that its locked, it just straight up WONT open. my grandpa tried to ram the door with his shoulder, and nothing. hes a strong ass dude, and this door wouldnt budge for anything.

my mom managed to get the kitchen window open and climb in that way, and it took both her and my grandpa pulling/pushing at the same time to force the door open. i wont even dress this up: there was mold. fucking. everywhere. on the floor, on the walls, all over everything i owned. i have pictures (had to take them for insurance) and im not even going to show them because they are beyond fucking disgusting. everything i owned was soaked in water and mold, and i do literally mean EVERYTHING. it was very warm in there too, like the temperature of a swamp. i was in a haze after that. i just remember sobbing, like genuinely heartbroken sobbing, as i wandered around looking at everything that was ruined. my mom & grandpa had to go and get maintenance because i was just utterly useless, and they were equally horrified & said they'd never seen anything like it.

i managed to save some items that were irreplaceable (journals, notebooks, etc) and whatever clothes werent utterly soaked in mold. all of my cookware, my books, my laptop & desktop (i cried the hardest when i saw the desktop) - it was all ruined. we found out later that the water boiler in my apartment had a catastrophic failure while i was gone, which caused it to constantly send water back through the pipes, empty, and refill itself. my bedroom was directly above the boiler downstairs, so it got the most significant amount of damage. all told, i lost like 95% of the things i owned. it is possible that i could have saved more, but the amount of mold in that apartment made it a genuine safety hazard for me to even be in there, so i had very limited time to grab what i could. the cruelest irony of all that? my shithead ex-friend's room, which was on the other side of the hallway, was pretty much untouched. he lost absolutely nothing lol.

so immediately, i had to leave the state. i moved back to ny with my family. my mother - who had a stroke last year following a diagnosis of an exceedingly rare neurological disorder, AND had two separate brain surgeries to improve her quality of life - was in the process of getting evicted. the landlord didnt give a fuck about any of my moms situation, not her being disabled, not her being widowed, not her having 3 kids under the age of 18 to care for - he just wanted her out so he could increase the cost of rent on our house. at the same time as all this was going on, i got saddled with a $600 electric bill (likely caused by the water heater's malfunction), which neither insurance nor the apartment would pay, so it came out of my pocket. in addition, i found out in december that i was also getting laid off.

we had nowhere to go and couldnt afford to live anywhere in the tri-state area. we had no choice but to move somewhere much cheaper, and since my mom already had a friend living in a mid-atlantic state, we chose to move there. the eviction went through in january and we had less than 2 weeks to pack all our shit, find a place to live, and get the fuck out. needless to say, we were not successful lol.

we stayed in my grandparents 1 bedroom apartment for about a week, then all of us drove down together to stay with my moms friend in her 3 bedroom apartment (she has 5 kids, 3 of whom live in the apartment). my moms apartment, which was supposed to have been ready by january 31st, still had people actively living there. the property manager kept promising us it would be next week for the entire month of february, to the point that my mom got fed up and chose to rent a small house instead. the reality of being essentially homeless for that time was beyond horrifying, and having anywhere between 8-10 people in that house (my cousin also moved with us, but he stayed in a hotel for the first week) was more taxing than i can express.

but things have gotten a lot better since then. i also found a cute little house to rent just up the road from my moms, and its very cheap for its size. i still havent found a job yet, but thanks to what was essentially the liquidation of everything i owned, ill be ok for a couple months more. im slowly but surely repurchasing all the things i lost and trying to acclimate to the new environment. things are still not totally stable right now, but they are slowing down, and at this point thats all i can really ask for lol.

so yeah. if u were wondering why i suddenly stopped posting after literal years of posting every day, thats why LMAO

[princess-of-the-corner]

And Yet More Random Fanfic Quotes!

: )

*

IcyThotPainRelief: Remember Zuku murder is illegal

Izuwu: Ur one to talk!

IcyThotPainRelief: Look if im not allowed to ruin my reputation neither are u! we either go down together or not at all bitch!

*

Mom-o: Hagakura! That is highly inappropriate! Even if he does sound like an unsavory individual, we still don’t know how Midoriya feels about the whole situation! So, it’s best not to assume his feelings on the subject.

Izuwu: Well he’s dead to me so technically u guys arnt wrong the bastered can rot in hell for all the heart ach he gave my mom!

Mom-o: Oh okay, carry on you guys.

*

SharkBoi: Am i gunna need to bail my boyfriend out of jail?

WeepingDarkness669: Thats only if he gets caught

Pikachu: Bold of u to assume our dear Kacchan knows anything about keeping things lowkey when it comes to acts of violence

*

Tired™: Dont be dragging me into u guys is shit! I was a happy little introvert chilling on my own until u guys showed up!

IcyThotPainRelief: U should of thought of that before spilling ur entire traumatic backstory within a 5 mile radius of Izuku “I will save people with the power of friendship” Midoriya

*

Izuwu: So as auntie Mitsuki is beating my dead-beat dad with her shoe and guess who decided to show up out ow fuckin nowhere?

Pikachu: The pizza delivery guy?

WeepingDarkness: Death itself?

DisneyPrincess: The cops?

AlienQween: *gestured with feeling* Aliens?

SugarDaddy: The League of Villains?

Hentai: Jesus fucking chist guys…

Izuwu: ALL MIGHT!!!

Izuwu: With like?? a bouquet of flowers?? and in a blazer?? Cuz like apparently hes going out with my mom??

IcyThotPainRelief: I FUSKING KNWE IT!!!

Izuwu: Still not his secret love child Sho!

Izuwu: So anyways All Might is there and is all like “what’s going on” and Kacchan goes “we’re beating up Deku’s shitty dad” then All Might said “wait he’s alive??”

DefyingGravity: Deku’s useless Y chromosome user: quit telling everyone im dead!

DefyingGravity: Us: sometimes i can still hear his voice

Izuwu: SO ANYWAYS

Izuwu: Auntie finally stops beating up my father because she too is really surprised to see All Might at our door step which now allows my sperm doner to finally be aware of his surroundings and he looks up at All Might and goes “who the hell are u and what do u want?” and then All Might looks this man dead in the eye and fuking goes “Im here to pick up ur wife we have dinner reservations!”

*

Izuwu: I THOUGHT WE WERW FRIENDS IIDA!!

Saaanic: We are and it is my job to tell you that your entire existence is being held together by sticky tape, a lot of prayer, and spite.

*

WAKEMEUPwakemeupinside: you ever think about how we define sandwichs by the inside of them not the outside

WAKEMEUPwakemeupinside: like you never say “oh i gotta wheat bread sandwich”

*

“You’re worth a hundred of them,” Todoroki said shortly.

“I disagree,” Iida said dryly. “A hundred of any of them would make poor company.”

*

LabSafety101: she’s surprisingly subdued rn, I actually convinced her to take a nap

Dadzawa: that’s because she worked for 72 hours straight with minimal caffeine

LabSafety101: hey chiyo

GrannyChiyo: if she’s already asleep I can’t do anything

LabSafety101: yeah but can you make sure she’s not about to die in her sleep

Yamadad: the boys made sure she ate, dw

LabSafety101: was it healthy?

Yamadad: idk but it was food!

*

UncleGun: I know for a fact that basically every kid in school at least knows half the common swear words

UncleGun: but it’s also really fun to say “dagnabbit”

*

“Alright. I didn’t ask you to get your hero costumes because today you will all be fighting Shinsou.”

The whole class raised their eyebrows. Shinsou tried his hardest not to scream inside though.

Because, what the fuck?

“Uh, sir. That doesn’t seem very fair,” Momo spoke up.

“Yes I know.” Aizawa nodded, “Also, none of you are allowed to use your quirks. Except him, obviously.”

“Why!” Bakugou shouted, “I wanna beat him nice and fair!”

Aizawa was not fazed. “You all know how Shinsou’s quirk works. Once you respond to him, he can make you do anything. That is all. Is that too hard for you?”

The class frowned. Was that a trick question?

Aizawa nodded, and made to sit down. Shinsou stopped him, speaking quietly, “I… I think you’re overestimating my power, here.”

Aizawa just scoffed, “I think you’re underestimating their stupidity.”

[…]

After five minutes, there were only three students in front of him. Kouda, because he didn’t talk anyway, Ojirou, because he had actually learned his lesson at the sports festival, and Sero, who had literally taped his mouth shut.

Aizawa walked towards them and stood next to Shinsou. The ones at the wall, looked at him in varying degrees, of shame and disbelief.

The teacher sighed, “All you had to do was not talk.” He shook his head at them, “That’s all you had to do.”

*

Pro Hero Hawks: So you’ll get to meet all kinds of heroes! Maybe even All Might!

Pro Hero Hawks: Yes, this is naked bribery.

*

“Young Midoriya is quite the hero fan, isn’t he?”

“He’s not just a fan, Yagi-san, he’s not just an air conditioner either: Midoriya-kun is an entire HVAC system.”

*

“Gentlemen, I am here, with some brand new handcuffs! Who would like to try them on first?”

*

Izuku, despite his professionalism as an analyst, despite his commitment to be a hero, still found that teenage urge to throw his head back and groan at the prospect of something that could be seen as a boring, pointless task. He fought the feeling down, self-control pinning it to the ground and discipline clubbing it with a half-brick in a sock before dragging it back into the depths of his mind, and then assumed a low stance.

*

Mirko’s kicks were well known for breaking bones.

Coincidentally, high schoolers tended to have bones.

-

I AM CACKLING I LOVE THIS

[dolli-is-me]

hey dolli i have never come on here before but I just want to let go of some pent up feelings I’ve been surprising for about a month now. I’m feeling very insecure about entering the void. I feel this method is something that’s better for me because it is just like sleeping but also I can wake up with my desires instantly. Before I was confident about entering because I entered before even twice but ever since I haven’t been able to enter. I’ve been reading success stories to keep me moto busted but I stopped because it made me feel useless and like a failure💀 because if they can do it why can’t I? No but seriously I’m confused why I can’t enter or wake up in it anymore. I’ve been persisting in affirming and listening to tapes but today I just feel like an idiot. The closest I’ve been to entering was the night before yesterday which was the 6 dec and I could feel myself being lifted up but then I went back down again. I tried again but then I went back down again even though I decided to focus on my affirmations. I can’t help but feel I’m not meant to have my desires and I’m just supposed to stay here and deal with it. I’m sorry I just wanted to vent because I feel so defeated today.

HELLO THERE LOVE 💗

it's completely alright to let your feelings out, I definitely understand how you feel

The fact you mentioned you feel like you could "enter" before but can't do it now?

Sometimes, overconsumption can affect us hard, when you take took much information about it, the more you do, the more you make it sound complicated for you

just imagine! It's simply nothing, nothing special at all, it's a state where you just feel floaty, which we always get in it every night!

AND IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU THAT YOU COULD FEEL INTENSE SYMPTOMS

Believe me, I'm not saying this only to cheer you up, I'm actually being serious, you're literally so so close, but the only obstacles holding you back is insecurities

Which is completely fine, honestly I might suggest you staying away from them Tumblr for a short while if you could? Don't read anything about it too much, but also don't force yourself NOT to think about it too much

Simply act like it's something that's always with you, it's nothing special as it is, putting it on a pedestal is something hard for you

And yes you're absolutely right, if others can then why not you? Because you can, you most definitely can, in fact, these success stories are those same individual who had the exact same feelings and phase as yours

They felt useless on the fact that they can't enter, when now you're reading their success stories? You can see most of them say: ("I swear it's so easy, I don't know how I made it so complicated! - I can't believe I could tap in any night and I made it so complicated for myself - I thought it was fake because of how I couldn't enter but I did!")

You see? This feeling you are having is nothing more than a mere obstacle, because I swear you're literally so close, THE FACT IS, ITS LIKE A SWITCH, ON AND OFF

all you need to do is to simply toggle it

anyways! I suggest you stay away from Tumblr or any social media for a bit and recharge yourself and your confidence, even though it's not necessary but I highly suggest it, to help your confidence sky rocket

In these days of no Tumblr and overconsumption, work on you and yourself, rant about how everything comes in your favor, tell yourself on and on how you love yourself and all the work you did, tell yourself you're going to make it and you trust yourself to make it, in short, love yourself

Find happiness in even smallest things, whenever you get reminded that "you can't enter" laugh about this thought, genuinely think it's nothing more than a intrusive thought, gently push it away, because it's simply not true

In short, detox yourself and your subconscious, do anything you like to detox yourself, simply charge yourself, listen to a subliminal if you want to! Suggesting a self concept one

I swear once you work on your self concept, everything will follow easily, and honestly self concept is so much fun to take the stress away! It's simply loving yourself and telling yourself everything is to your favor because you love yourself

Believe me love, you're not useless, at least everyone had this feeling when trying to enter, you're not a failure in it, because it's simply in every human, accessing it is like nothing more special that it seems, why do you think I say the void isn't special? Because you are special, being blessed by the knowledge of the void, you can most definitely do it, love, take a small break and love yourself, don't be too harsh on yourself 💗

[desertdollranch]

hi DDR!

i was wondering if you have any insight into buying or finding doll dishes? I want to make some fake food out of clay/etc, but i dont think im capable of making plates, bowls, glasses, or utensils. a precursory search on etsy and amazon showed me mostly sets that were too miniature, or toddler sized.

any recommendations would be very appreciated! ty

@/enby-dollhouse

I do in fact have some recommendations!

What has worked for me is looking for them at thrift stores and secondhand stores. Head over to the knickknacks and figurines to look for little collectible plates and souvenir mugs. Look through the dishes to find small bowls and pitchers. Be on the lookout especially for mini syrup pitchers or creamer pitchers, which look like this.

If you've tried that and not found what you're looking for, there are a few places that specialize in selling doll accessories of the right size. The Queen's Treasures has a few dishes and cutlery sets, although they're a bit more expensive. A little more reasonably priced shop Lovvbug has a wider selection.

You're right that Amazon is kind of a useless mess, but here's a 9-piece set of silverware. I own this set and they're perfectly doll-sized, just a tiny bit smaller than Kirsten's American Girl brand silverware that I also own. And here's a ten-piece set of little teacups that I bought last year.

I'm glad you asked this today because last night I was actually organizing my smaller doll accessories, including the dishes, so here are a few I pulled out to talk about.

That's five plates, a mug, a teacup, a bowl, and a set of silverware. Everything but the silverware came from various thrift stores. And that's the silverware set I linked above. Nothing here is made of plastic except for the bowl.

[m00nl1ght-sun25]

The burning Fate

Post Seabound/season 15

Warning - Attempted suicide, cursing, past overdosing/drowning (attempt), self harm, implied eating disorder, self gaslighting

Heads up -

 - i hc lloyd as Genderfluid, in this their pronouns will be they/them

- Lloyd and brad are dating (brad is two years older then lloyd- so it’s not illegal or smth and like also lloyd is 17)  also Brad is this kid who was in like season 1 and he went to darklys with Lloyd :)

- i hc Lloyd and autistic, i kinda hint to it in one part (also im not autistic- but i have autistic friends, and if i do smth wrong ever, pls tell me)

- also im not saying if you have any mental disorder or smth your stupid- just ppl think that, when your rlly not-

 - also i have no idea how to comfort- and idk how to write i either- so yea-

Lloyd has been up on top of this building for about an hour. An hour numbly looking down below into the busy street as the darkness surrounds them. Some lights flash into their faces from time to time. But it doesn’t matter to Lloyd, this will be their last few minutes.

Ever since Nya left Lloyd's life has gone back to hell. First of all, Kai and Jay will always be yelling at each other, no matter how loud Lloyd made the music, they could still hear their older brothers yelling at each other. Most of the time it'd just get to the point where it was too much for Lloyd and they just couldn’t hold it anymore and cry, they couldn’t help but get overwhelmed by it all. It’s all their fault though. It’s their fault. They're a horrible leader. Nobody wants a stupid, disabled kid to be their savior.

After nya left the ninja, Lloyd also started to relapse… just like after the sons of garmadon and harumi. They locked themself in their room all the time, never coming out. Not eating, and they would get the extra razor that they have to… hurt themself. They have the scars all over them, not just their wrists. Their thighs, shoulders. Just really anywhere that they can hide it. Where they can hide how hard everything really was for them. They had to  hide, they couldn’t be seen as weak. They’re the green ninja, they’re the one who has to protect everyone.

This isn’t the first time they tried to kill themself.. Lloyd thought as they looked over the edge of the tall building. A month after Nya left them to merge with the ocean, they tried to drown themselves, but Kai tried to find them and stopped them before it was too late. They were forced to stay in the mental hospital for a few weeks, it wasn’t because the ninja thought that they were psycho or anything. Just they tried to kill themselves. When they got to be sent back home, they snuck out one night. No word or anything. And just ran away. So they’ve been living with Brad, Gene, and Sally for about 7 months.

The other time Lloyd tried to end it all was after they moved in with brad. They got a lot of pills and just chugged them all down, it worked. But Sally found them passed out on the floor, and called the ambulance before Lloyd actually died. After they were sent home, Brad kept a close eye on his lover.

Lloyds honestly is kinda embarrassed and disappointed in themselves for failing twice to kill themselves. Well… is it them..? because really, they could’ve done it, but then people keep finding them. They should really try to do it when no one is around or anything. But hey… no one is around right now… just five more simple steps.. and all the pain will be over, they’ll no longer feel the stinging sensation in their arms or thighs after this. Because they’ll be gone. Just like everyone always wanted. For the blonde brat , that was Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon, to be dead.

Funny thing is right now they're not even fully blonde. They dyed their pink with red tips. It makes them think of valentines though, not going to lie. But does it matter? no. Nothing matters. Everything is all useless. All that matters is that in a few seconds, they’ll be free. Free from being the green ninja, free from being the leader and the reason your team fell apart. Free from destiny. Maybe that’s why they’re still alive. Because destiny needs a puppet to pick sticks at, to try to entertain itself. Fuck destiny, man. Fuck it.

Lloyd lets their mind wander as they take one step closer to the edge, one step closer to death.

They think about when they went to The Wailing Alsps, with Clancee. This snake pirate, who was very familiar and lloyd feels like they’ve seen before. And it wasn’t just because of when the whole thing with chen was going on.. some other time… A time Lloyd can’t put their finger on. But anyways When Lloyd and Clancee went to the wailing alsps and almost died, they thought of kai. How Kai was always there for them, and was like the brother and father Lloyd never had. Lloyd is the one who’s leaving, just like last time. But… this is what Kai wanted… The night Lloyd ran away they and Kai got into a fight… Not Jay and kai. But Lloyd and Kai.  It was in the heat of the moment when Kai yelled that he wished he never saved Lloyd from that volcano. Which right after Kai realized what he said to lloyd. But it was too late. The damage was done.

Four more steps…

Three more steps…

Fuck it all. Lloyd thought.  Fuck. Destiny can go find some other blonde bitch to do its bidding.  In Lloyd's last few seconds they just felt rage. The closer they got to the edge the more they got angry.

The last few years their anger has gotten worse. But it gives Lloyd something to think about. It lets Lloyd actually feel something. Sometimes it’s like they're not angry at all, but the next they’re fuming. Like right now.

Like how right now just the thought of Garmadon makes them want to go smash their “fathers” face into a fucking wall. Or Harumi. Definitely Harumi. She messes everything up and then just goes and dies just like that. At least she’s out of their life. even if they can never stop thinking about her… Or the version of Harumi in The Prime Empire game Lloyd and the other ninjas were trapped in.

Lloyd took a deep breath in through the noise and out the mouth.

Taking another step closer.

Two more steps…

One more step…

Lloyd looks all the way down. Heh… So this is it.. The end of the line. Maybe i’ll get to see my real father.

Just as Lloyd took the last step they swore they heard the door slam open to the top of the building… and some yelling..? But all Lloyd could feel now was the air in their face, the wind messing with their hair. And… It stopped…? did they fall that fast to the ground..?

No…no… No! why.. NononoNO!

They feel a hand gripping tightly on the wrist. A familiar voice yelling for them to stay. A sound that is almost like someone sobbing..?

Lloyd hazily looks up to the person who’s stopping them. Only to see Brad, His eyes red and bloodshot, Tears running down his face as he finally manages to pull Lloyd up. Brad falls to the ground and wraps his arms around his partner. Sobbing and hugging them tightly. Lloyd gets some anger inside of them because Brad stopped them. But they can’t help but just stare blankly as Brad sobs that he almost lost lloyd.

“I-I…”

Lloyd tries to get anything out to brad. But they can’t. They just feel numb again, as Brad holds them.

After a few moments Brad gets it under control and wipes at his eyes. He then stands up and tightly holds Lloyd's hand, it doesn’t hurt. But it doesn’t matter. Brad waits for lloyd to stand up before they say

“I… I love you… I’m sorry.. I’m sorry Lloyd.”

Brad doesn’t seem to know what to say at this moment. I mean… What can you say after you find your partner almost killing themselves…? ‘Why?’ ‘What about me?’ ‘Don’t leave?’ ‘People are going to miss you’ ‘I will miss you’ No… None of it seems right… Brad just stays quiet and looks down at Lloyd, love in his eyes.

He hugs Lloyd again tightly and then lets go. Tightly holding Lloyd's hand.

The door to the top was still open from when Brad came running up here to get to Lloyd before it was too late.

Brad closed the door and walked down the stairs with lloyd.

Lloyd just blocked everything out and thought… They were almost free.. Free from it all. But they couldn’t have it. They can’t die apparently. Damn. Destiny really doesn't want Lloyd to die.

Fuck.

[snarky-art]

Alrighty I’ve finally finished season 5

I hate how obvious it is they’re trying to tone the show down completely to even lower audience demographic. The first 3 seasons were for kids but there was actual peril and darker concepts and stuff that were much more interesting damn you Nickelodeon and your desperate attempt to keep the most squeaky clean image ever not only does it not work it’s costing stories and plot

I REFUSE to believe Stella would be a bad fashion designer with how much she loves fashion (I know it was a joke in s1 too but I still refuse). Plus, avant-garde is a thing and she would serve

That boat that was sent from Andros was def made exclusively for the winx there is NO WAY that style exists anywhere else on that planet for land related peoples with all of its hard lines and industrial style architecture with its limited color palettes

The nautical themed outfits are cute but Bloom’s looks SO overdone to me and Stella,, my sweet babygorl,, wtf did you do to your own fit?? Aisha’s poodle puff braid ftw also

Harmonix was totally useless BUT I still like the flower petal aesthetic vibe (even tho only Flora is a nature floral lady) and some of the color combos. Bloom in pink is still a no tho, which is something I mainly hate because of how obvious it is they started integrating it into her more to make her more marketable for toy lines and shit

Where did the gems that were already on the starfish thing for sirenix come from?

The amount of times the girls all gasp or ooo or ahh and go like “wow!” “so cool!” “amazing!”,, I will kill I feel like I’m watching a 1990s or early 2000s anime dub I hate it I hate it I hate it

Icy would NOT simp like this (shoutout to her leaving Valtor when he got ugly and telling him that’s why she’s leaving him)

The relationship drama was just as stupid and hamfisted as I thought it was from an outside skim of the season based off of secondhand knowledge ie posts and gifs. Also, Krystal did nothing wrong, she’s just autistic and Helia would NOT introduce Flora as anything other than the love of his life.

Timmy and Tecna also have one of the healthiest relationships why tf is everyone trying to give them advice like this they’ve all been dating for YEARS why are all of y’all so insecure like this? The writers really said fuck everyone’s character development even more than they already had

I continue to not give a shit about skoom also this was just exhausting I can’t do it

Also that is NOT Luna and Radius. That “he wouldn’t say that!” meme is ME SOOOO MUCH during this season at so many people but I actually started YELLING about Luna being some sort of soft gorl while Radius is this prideful ignoramus

Sirenix giving Aisha that blonde hair while knowing about the insane white washing to come in the future is something I Think About

The sirenix song does bop also, although I’m so sorry to say I don’t think I’m as big of a fan of it as a lot of people are but maybe that’ll change as I hear it more please forgive me

Also, Musa’s little coffee grinder move during her sirenix transformation? So cute, wish we actually got to see it more than like 2 times. Damn you shortened sirenix transformarion sequence

Im convinced Tecna doesn’t actually know karate, she just thinks it looks cool so she mimics it. Same with Flora and her ballet/lyrical looking poses she does during her sirenix transformation sequence. She doesn’t actually know those styles of dance, she just thinks they looks neat and tries to copy it.

Dark sirenix, you’re slaying thank you for your service

Bloom, you can’t insult Diaspro and remind her you’re a princess in that fucking dress while she’s serving cunt like that

The combat is soooo slow compared to previous seasons I hate it

The rigging throughout this season was a MESS

They should go after the handful of companies that are actually responsible for the majority of pollution and destroy them and their ceos a la Flora season 1 core

Where did they put all of that trash they got out of the ocean? They went to the pacific trash island and cleaned it up. Where did it go? I’m so curious

All of the kings are so STUPID too the whole meetup thing was so dumb like just fucking,, help each other you know it makes more sense

AND PUT SOME MF RESPECT ON THE WINX’S NAMES, ALL OF THEM. They are GUARDIAN FARIES who have saved the magical world HOW MANY TIMES NOW??? Bites the writers bites the writers bites the writers

Their little dance workout outfits? Hatred. I miss the old ones so much. All of these outfits from this season,, it’s so clear cishet people were the main ones designing the clothes I hate it so much it’s not the same kind of tacky and camp that the first 3 seasons had. The only good things I can say about the dance outfits is that Flora’s purple leg warmers were cute, Aisha’s color palette was nice, and Bloom’s was very Bloom core

Icy: you guys are helping me??

Darcy and Stormy: I mean, yeah, we aren’t talking to you rn, but you’re still out sister

Me: OUGH🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭

I forgot Roy existed🥲

Daphne being brought back like this still seems so bleh to me knowing how they don’t really do shit with it and about how it was done only because they retconned all the og stuff from canon and to continue to milk the franchise until it’s teats are dry and chapped BUT I’m glad she does a little spinny at the end of the season with Bloom so at least I got that

that’s all I got for now

Shout out to @charmixpower for suffering through this all with me.

We watched the first half of the series in like 2 or 3 sittings that took place months apart, and then did the last half in one 8 hour sitting

I couldn’t have gotten through it without yelling at each other and making shitty jokes.

The psychic damage you inflicted on me throughout this was awful but I would do it all again in a heartbeat (but not really because good lird this was EXCRUCIATING sorry bestie💕💕💕)

Anyway onto season 6 now I GUESS

[810nd1]

i tried being myself and it never works, someone somewhere always usually has something to say about it or judge me for something or other. im no kidding the amount of bs was past the normal point of what someone would deal with, it was every other public place even as an adult someone somewhere be gossiping or judging or idfk even if they didnt know me at all. do you believe in TI's? I had couple of guys once recording me as a chikd didnt report it to anyone since they ran off when i went back inside no one wouldve believed me and ever since then weird shit would happen in terms of interactions even to this day.

idfk i lowkey wish i was never born less to no problems. also then i think abt how much i have actually wasted both in time and situations yet i always just keep getting fomo or existential crisis. thats why i rather never have been born or as i said shouldve been from an older generation at least then id almost be nearly done with my life. that or i wouldve just done something like kpop just bc but wait id be too old for that these days again missed opportunities to do stuff with my useless life.no one else seems to get how i feel about any of it either cause society likes to say its never too late but really it does become too little too late to do anything truly cool or different. so now i hope i just randomly pass away in my sleep so i never have to do anything ever again. tbh i dont particularly know if id ever actually be able to trust anyone ever again either esp with smartphones and social media making people more self absorbed. it just really sucks to be someone my age having done next to nothing with themselves seeing loads of younger folk being able to do more than you just sucks cause i wont ever know what thats like.

Bae listen up

1. People will always find the reason to make fun of you, will judge you, will try to bring you down, make you unhappy with yourself. People are people they will talk. Always and forever unless you will show them that they can’t treat you like that. Because people treat you in a way you let them. You can’t control what they think of you, but you can control what they do to you.

2. You let your life slip through your fingers because you care way too much about what people might think of you. Do you think your kpop idols were scared to audition for a company? Do you think people didn’t try to stop them? Called them delusional, that they aren’t good enough, they are never going to make it, laughed at their dreams. I bet they were told they are too ugly, or too shy or too weird to be a kpop idol. They just didn’t care and did what felt right for them

3. Your life ends when you say it ends. That’s a mindset not the reality that you live in and trust me I know something about that. I’m a master at picking myself up after a failure. As long as you’re trying to do something with your life, not everything has been lost. And I’ll be a part of the society now because I’m gonna say the same thing. It’s never too late to start or learn something new. If that was the case it’s too late for me too learn how to do spilts because there are children that already know how to do that. But trying to get there makes me happy. Maybe you won’t be able to reach your dreams but you may still do things that make you happy.

I’m sorry that you feel this way but I hope whatever I said will open your eyes a bit

[stormyoceans]

I still cant get over what Vegas' fear of abandonment has lead him to. He really believed that Pete a grown man, with agency and personhood will be happy staying chained in a room, fed on nothing but youtube taught food and sex. LIKE? VEGAS baby that is not how this works. I kind of dont want this season to end with them together they NEED to work on themselves first.

i mean.. what vegas cooked for pete following a youtube recipe looked way better and more nutritional than my current diet of pasta salad and bubble tea ;;;;;;;; (im JOKING) (i mean, not about my current diet, that’s sadly very real)

but seriously, i do get what you mean, though i’d argue that vegas biggest mistake was trying to take away what he gave pete back: his sense of self. when pete said 'right now i feel useless' and then quickly corrected it to 'no, i've always been useless. i never exist. i have no feelings', it's because it's not just being held captive that's breaking him, it's the weight of his whole life. from his father's abuse to being a bodyguard for the main family, pete was never allowed to be just pete, he was never allowed to just exist. he built himself a mask to cope and survive, one that's happy and caring and carefree but also hollow, and nobody ever cared enough to look behind it, and slowly but surely that mask started to eat away at pete's real self and became a burden too. you mentioned agency and personhood, but i wonder just how much agency and personhood can someone have when their whole life revolves around their job and their job is to be ready to lay down their life for someone else. being a bodyguard also entails conforming to everyone else, to have the same clothes, to abide by the same rules, to respond to someone else's needs and never your own, to become a faceless body who can be easily replaced by another. and pete is a great bodyguard, because the real pete has always been invisible, his mask making him become just an empty container for people to dump their needs in without caring what damage they could be doing in the process, without caring what pete's needs could be

this is where vegas comes in, and from here on everything i say may be an unpopular opinion, but i feel like if it weren't for vegas, pete could have been going on living as he did, being nothing and feeling nothing, until he eventually died protecting tankhun or kinn, but vegas gave pete something he never had: vegas made him feel seen, and appreciated, and wanted, made him remember what it was like to be a person (isn't it interesting that, after just saying he lost his humanity and has no feelings, pete tells vegas 'i'm human. i have feelings'?). and then vegas chained him up again, vegas tried to push pete back behind his mask ('you're just my pet'), and pete could have taken that from anyone, but not from vegas, not after getting reminded of what being human feels like, and everything suddenly overflows

this is actually why after episode 13 i personally want vegas and pete to end up together this season EVEN MORE, because pete may have gone back to the main family, may be desperately try to fit back in the place he was before, but it’s impossible to go back being no one when you were finally someone, and vegas, by being the one person who ever saw pete, was the only one who could ever break pete so completely, but like it or not, he is also the only one who can put pete back together

[scarsmood]

how do you know you wont act upon the urges? doesnt the whole "searching out for more" thing about porn still apply to paraphilias? do you not fear of getting too comfortable and accepting of your paraphilias? how do you not fear of slipping up and acting on them?

Tw rape and paraphilia discussion

Here’s the thing you don’t know me lmao. I just make little tumblr post’s and that isn’t indicative to who I am as a person 24/7.

You have to accept your paraphilias actually that’s a healthy thing to do. You might be getting acceptance crossed with encouragement. You might wanna check my b3astiality tag but some studies found that actual beastiality isnt often committed from sexual attraction it’s usually motivated from other means. I think more often its commited sadozoophilia or sadistic zoophilia where you enjoy animals in pain.

I dont have that lol, i also am not afraid im gonna “do it” because i cant even act out my zoophilia specifically cause i only like animals x animals. So if i “lost it” the worst thing i could do is idk?? Watch animals get nasty like a little creep. Issue is i also only really get sexually attracted to animals like threatening wolves. So id specifically have to seek out tigers? Cause thats kinda close, even then its iffy. Probably isn’t gonna do anything for me tbh cause its still so far off.

It means typically what’s happening is my system is getting down w it internally or someone wants to do feral rp. You could commission art i guess. That’s still not that “crazy”

Let’s pick something else though. I have a few paraphilias and my zoophilia is basically useless. It’s not something I’m ever worried about but how about biastophilia or rape. That’s if you ask me much more worrying. Very real world and very easy to do.

That one specifically, because of my extensive sexual abuse history is what I’d call my “problem paraphilia” it also isn’t really recognized as one officially but thats okay this is more about answering the question “how do you handle impulses?”

I have gone and done extensive therapy for trauma, I’ll be honest pre-therapy i committed minor or major acts with sexual assault. So it’s a very alive problem. Because of DID i also didn’t even know i did this until roughly last year. So thats cool. Here’s what helps impulses I’ve found for paraphilias that actually have teeth and can cause serious harm.

Trauma associated with the paraphilia has to be treated, its a strong motivator to act. I did EMDR and still do it works very well for me. Secondly finding an outlet and appropriate expression is important it doesn’t have to be BDSM it could just be breaking things in a controlled area or drawing, walking, something to let out the energy that fulfills you and makes you feel safe.

You can still do BDSM, CNC does scratch the itch pretty well but what I find solves it more are trauma related grounding techniques. I have to avoid and neutralize triggers, do grounding techniques, toss in some DBT and CBT. Its an art form.

Do I feel like im gonna slip up ever? Honestly, yeah. Sometimes I feel out of control and it’s developed into a paranoia of “its gonna happen im a monster ect” that circles back to grounding and trauma therapy. I have my own set of grounding techniques when I feel that way. I do them until I become confident again that I’m okay and stable. If I can’t seem to that I do old reliable. Get the fuck away from me. I’m out of here im chilling in my room alone until this shit gets better.

Since the “paraphilia” or impulse is trauma based. I find i am most dangerous when someone tries to rape me. How ironic! This has happened a lot unfortunately and became a legitimate defense mechanism. I am quite happy to be monogamous now because instead of dealing with shit heads i get to be with my partner. If someone starts acting that way towards me now its easier to blow them off because i can justify thats cheating. So none of that bullshit.

Since my ex raped me a lot. Were talking upwards of 100+ cause it was weekly for 8 years. If i see someone that looks like him i can get a little angry that way. But after therapy its been pretty died down. It’s not a very visceral reaction i can accept the emotions and move on.

In summary, i think most paraphilias if theres is no harm specifically in their definition its not gonna be a problem. When it is though it’s best to learn DBT and CBT i enjoyed EMDR and my therapist helped me understand the signs before you commit to an impulse. Which will look different for everyone. You have to accept its a part of you as well. I didn’t pre therapy which meant i never understood until it was to late what i wanted to do. Recognizing your past, your impulses and how that’s also you and then embracing them and giving those parts of yourself resources to cope better is so hard. But it’s extremely important to do. It’s not beneficial for the person acting out those things either. It comes with guilt, shame the inability to trust yourself. Thats why it’s so important to even acknowledge its there.

With my sexual abuse it’s a family tradition/s the one that they all have in common is no one accepts it. No one talks about it. No one addresses it. You have to accept these things or else the cycle doesn’t stop. Hope that answers your question :>

[sophierequests]

ayo…………

david kostyk smut?

i feel like he wouldnt call it sex? like more “making love” thats the vibe i get from him. something very fluffy?

okay im leaving now bye 🧡

a break from everything

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Pairing: David Kostyk x f! Reader

A/N: Ayo... I might just write that... Straight smut is always a special experience to me, so bear with me, I tried my best lmao. David is definitely a softie, when it comes to these things, yk... Also, husband!David, because I say so, and that man deserves some stability in his life. I hope you like this, because I wrote the majority of that in public khsakakgdkg

Summary: The reader has been working for the whole day, causing David to worry about her wellbeing. To help her relax, he suggests that the two of them might take a little break. *wink wink*

Genre: Smut and Fluff

Word Count: 1.4K

Warnings: Smut, penetrative sex, slight dom! sub! roles, but not too heavy

A warm breeze of Ravkan air blew in through an open window in the small office you kept. The air was humid and sticky, but you were still focused on your work. You hummed softly while your pen steadily scratched over the paper you had lying in front of you. Translating official documents was never fun - especially since it actually wasn’t your job - but if Nikolai said that he needed them as soon as possible, you had to finish them as soon as possible. Even though you felt yourself get stiffer with every minute passing, you were not ready to wrap it up for the night, feeling as if you didn’t even do half of the work you should’ve done.

However, your attention got diverted by slow footsteps echoing from the room next to you - your bedroom. They were heavy, but also a bit cautious, as they approached the door to the room you were currently in. Two firm knocks sounded, before the door creaked open, revealing a frowning David. He cleared his throat as he stepped in, walking towards your desk whilst shaking his head in worry. You immediately knew what he wanted.

“Y/N, love, you should not be working right now. Look at how tense you are.” he cooed, giving you a loving peck on the cheek.

“Darling, as much as I would love to stop working on these absolutely useless documents, Nikolai needs them urgently.” you retorted, turning around in your chair to face him fully.

“I’m aware of that. But he also needs them translated correctly, and no offence, I doubt that you’re able to do that currently.” he grinned, pointing out a simple grammar mistake on the paper in front of you.

You groaned, turning back to your paper and throwing your head back in dissatisfaction. David was right, of course, but you still didn’t want to give in, no matter how strained you were getting. You weren’t tired, just not in the right headspace to finish your tasks.

It didn’t help that you could feel the heat emitting from David’s hands, which were steadily firmly working on massaging your shoulders, while your back was pressed against his stomach.

“David,” you exhaled sharply, leaning in into his touch even more, “Thank you for your visible…concern, but please just let me-”

A sudden series of kisses trailing up your neck caught you off guard, causing you to let out a subtle gasp. You whined when his body wasn’t flushed to yours anymore, but now, he was at your side, giving you faint pecks wherever he could reach.

“Sweetheart, the bed feels terribly empty without you.” he whispered into your ear, his voice sickly sweet, since he knew exactly how to get all your engines to override, “At least take a tiny break for me. I’m sure I can help you find a way to relax.”

David wasn’t the person to be the dominant one in your relationship. He actually was rather soft and liked you to be in control, steering him in the direction you wanted. But he also was a quite attentive lover, knowing when it was time to take the lead and when you needed to be taken care of as well. It was a habit he had followed through from your wedding night up until now.

His hands found yours, pulling you from the uncomfortable seat into your shared bedroom. He situated himself on the edge of the bed, and you followed quickly to sit on his lap facing him, your legs straddling his sides. You felt his hands on your waist, tugging you closer to his chest, while he pressed passionate kisses against your lips. It was almost embarrassing how fast a moan escaped your lips, but David only smiled into the kiss. Once you felt his erection press against your inner thigh, all the apprehension you might’ve had before was gone immediately.

Another sequence of feather-light kisses wandered over your collarbone and neck, occasionally stopping to suck on your skin, leaving light red marks in their wake. Your arousal was getting more obvious too, as you were starting to shift uncomfortably in his lap, hoping for him to finally do something.

“Want me to help you get rid of that tension?” he asked, waiting for you to give him consent to go any further.

You nodded hastily, not able to form a precise answer, whilst the man underneath you was undoing you second by second.

Still holding on to your waist, he switched positions, pressing your back against the back, with him now towering over you. Carefully, as if you were one of his metal works in the shop, he unbuttoned your baggy blouse, your pants following soon thereafter. Before removing your underwear, he removed his own clothes, cautiously throwing them off the bed.

No matter how many times you saw him in this position, you would never get tired of that view. His slightly outgrown black hair was dishevelled, whether it was from the previous hours he had spent working or his futile attempts at sleeping on his own. You made a mental note, to force him to shave when you saw a bit of stubble spurting from his chin.

He opened your bra, removing it before kissing down to your navel slowly. Every movement and every touch felt like it sent a new electric shock through you, making you squirm underneath him.

Finally, he decided to give in, pulling your panties down and situating himself above you. As much as you loved him, his tenderness could sometimes feel excruciating, every second dragging on into infinity, leaving you an aroused mess.

His length found its way into you, a slow pace gradually establishing as he began moving. He groaned, a string of barely audible praises leaving his mouth. You felt the prior tension dissolve, all the thoughts about work or duty leaving you immediately. The only thing on your mind was the man on top of you, who did his best to work on pleasing you. Your mind was going completely blank the longer he kept moving.

You felt his lips on yours again, playfully nipping on the pink skin of your lower lip or letting them travel all over your bust and head. You couldn’t kiss back immediately, the pleasure of his nude body flushed against and inside you hitting all the right spots.

Your legs clung around his waist, enabling him to hit even deeper inside of you, causing you to let out sharp exhales and shamefully loud moans. His pace accelerated, deep thrusts making your legs feel numb. A chaste kiss was placed on your cheek, before he buried his head in the nape of your neck, breathing in your scent as if he had never smelled it before.

Sweat covered both your bodies, the humid air all around you managed to raise the hotness between the both of you drastically. You knew you wouldn’t manage to hold it any longer, the knot in your stomach threatened to burst. His dick twitched inside you, and you knew that he was close too. The pace he set grew rather irregular, hasty moans were breathed into your ear, as your nails dug a bit deeper into the skin of his back.

“I-I’m close.” he moaned, pressing another sloppy kiss against your shoulder.

“Come inside me, love.” you whispered, your voice barely even able to form a coherent sentence, as the oncoming orgasm announced itself.

You came first, the knot in your lower abdomen dissolving at once, causing you to shiver under him, his body still pressed against yours tightly. He followed soon after, releasing with a low groan and moving to kiss your lips again, to which you happily complied. You could feel your mixed juices drip down your legs, as he shifted inside you, to readjust himself.

“My beautiful, beautiful wife.” he whispered against your lips after disconnecting from them.

He moved off of you, making you whine as his heat left you. Quickly, he walked towards the bathroom, getting a wet cloth and cleaning up both of you neatly, as he always did.

Suddenly, the urge to continue working on your translations was gone completely. The only thing you wanted to do now was catching a good night’s sleep, laying in the arms of your husband. He chuckled upon entering the room, seeing you lying on your side, chaotically wrapped in your blanket.

“You don’t want to go back to work?” he laughed, laying down behind you and wrapping his arms tightly around your waist.

“Not today, I figured I get distracted way too easily. I just needed a little break.”

[ikram1909]

What we are suffering now is the consequence of an accumulation of bad decisions that we have been accumulating throughout the pre-season.

Letting go Busquets when we didn't have a reliable DM before the season stsrted, Romeu was just decent in Girona and obviously wouldnt handle Barca pressure since he never has been in a big club. Not having one made Gavi, another season again, to favour the other players since he is the only reliable one who made the defensive work.

Letting go Jordi Alba and not getting a LB, he was Balde's competition and I think it was an importsnt factor to keep him more motivated to gain that spot in the starting XI. Also we could rotate him because he cannot let youngsters be overplayed

Not getting a proper RB. We went with the idea of BACK since they helped us winning Laliga last season but nobody wants to play in that position and it hurted us in many ways.

Letting go Tenas as our second choice, i know Ter Stegen being this out for so many months was unoredictable but man, he is getting older and at some point we have to start rotating him and Tenas was perfect for that

Unexperienxed staff. I know that half of pur tactics wouldnt be as bad as theyre now if Xavi had people to tell him how to do the right things at the right moments, and literally tell him thay playing players out of position to favour only 1 is an horrible idea

The injuries. Many of them were inside the pitcj but the others were also because of incompetiviness. We shouldve changed physios, trainers and medical staff when all this epidemic of injuries started.

The forwards. Lewandowski started to lower his workrate after WC, but nobody expected that this season would be so freakin worse. Still dont know why we didnt sell Raphinha because guy tries and tries but he doesnt hit, same goes with Ferran. Félix is way too inconsistent too.

Literally we never sign players from 25 to 29 years old or something, they either go to children or +30 and it pissed me off so bad. We are an unbalanced team because they either are not capable of playing so many matches because they are too young and unexperienced or theyre washed.

The pressing system relying to one and only one player. Xavi relying on Gavi for all this work only shows his unexperience because evn if you trust him so much, you cannot just let a 19yo do all the job that its supposed to do the whole defense and only a CM who has to sacrifice himself for the team and do all the dirty work

Also relying on Gavi to be the motor of this team. Genuinely why are these veterans relying to a 19yo to be the moral, emotional, passion and motivational support? Once they took Gavi awau from them they are so fucking useless in both recovering balls and having a minimum of passion. Do they know for which team theyre playing for?

The salaries. Im sorry but the FPP rules are killing us and Frenkie not lowering his salary is the main culprit, and Lewa too because the man has been shit for months yet he receives lots of money

Not getting rid of useless players like Sergi Roberto or Marcos Alonso.

Not signing any relevant players that could make a difference in the club

This are the ones who come in my mind rn. Prolly we have a large list of problems we were hidding but yea

I totally agree with you on most points except the third because we did sign a RB in cancelo it's just that the few times Cancelo isn't fit to play kounde started whining about having to play there 😒

Also, the over reliance on Gavi is actually ridiculous both from the coach and the players he's literally a kid ffs.