#i spent like 20 minutes on picking pics... there's so many

[enniewritesathing]

1, 2, 7, 9, 15, 20, 21, 26, 28

Hey girl heyyy 👋

what’s the last screenshot you’ve taken for your story?

(ominous...)

2. describe your story in three words or less

Werewolf Therapy Session // Holy Shit, Dude // John Curses ALOT // Get His Ass! // These Memories Suck // He's Not Okay

(I can go on, lol)

7. whats the biggest risk you’ve taken with your story? did it pay off?

The biggest risk (so far) is telling this story in general and how I'm not holding back with the subject matter(s). I know simblr tends to shy away from like bloody/gory shit and all of that, even as it's integral to the story itself, and... y'know, it's Sicko Hours at Ennie's place (I've got juice!); there's so many TWs. It's like that one post -- tws for a heads up, tws for 'oh word? 👀' very ymmv.

I'm not sure if it's paying off, though. Slightly over it at this point.

9. what about your story are you looking to improve on?

So, a while back, tumblr switched to the new text editor, which means that I got knee capped into 30 pics each post. And for those who've been here a minute, my posts were always long with multiple scenes. Like 5. I'm having to condense things and really having to think what shots to use (even if I take the same amount... the most I've took for a scene was like 250 something.)

tl;dr - pacing. I know it's a little wonky; I'm trying my best here! 😫

15. what have been the highlights of creating your story?

Getting to use all of this CC I've gotten over the years!! All of it is so super niche-y and without it, I wouldn't have been able to tell this story (accurately). It's also great how everything's coming together, y'know? I've had skill growth since the last time I did this, and my skills and editing are really shining through.

20. choose your favourite shot from your story so far

ngl, there's so many, but this one?? let me count the ways:

The sheer fury of The Werewolf has in this scene, but I like how this shot came out. The toxins in his veins that are (unbeknownst to him) actively killing him at this point. He's in unimaginable pain, but his anger is even more. He's had it.

The veins themselves and how you can see them as he's fighting it. (I've had to double them up and also use some others for his face as well.)

the fucking monitor in the background (lord do not get me started on that but it's for Enhancement and leave it at that.)

The Werewolf making his proclaimation: "I will fucking kill every one of you; you will not get away with this and you will suffer my pain."

if anyone else is intrigued by this -- I guess this part will be my hook.

And I felt that. Really. I struggled with that whole scene basically until I posted it, but I feel like I got the emotion part of it down. if I'm gonna be honest, I didn't know what to do for that scene until I had a Rogue Thought™️, and I made damn sure I was gonna be able to pull it off. I say I did.

there's so much more I can gush about this part but we will be here all night lol

21. choose your least favourite shot so far

It's a good shot but it's my 'least' favorite is because of what happens. (aka pics taken before disasters.) And really, this shot alone tells you what kind of person Charles is. This mfer's vibe? Hideous. Rancid. Abhorrent. Etc.

26. have other sim stories inspired you? 

of course!

28. if you could reproduce your story in another medium (movie, novel, comic, etc.) what would you choose and why?

Comic, hands down. I say this because if it were a movie, it wouldn't make sense and also, who tf would play John/The Werewolf? No one is even close!!

[jeaninthephilippines]

Departure Day

I am finally going to have the courage to write this entry.

The morning I left the Philippines, my mom was still stressed out about the weight of my luggage. I maneuvered more things to fit (would later find out my carry on was actually 3lbs over, oops!...Attendant let me slidddeeee hahah). I had been so busy de-escalating my mom that when they loaded me into the car, I forgot to kiss my Lola goodbye. My mom had sent her upstairs to grab cash so I had tip money for all the airport helpers. I feel so sad that I let myself get lost in the stress and flurry.

Our driver takes one pic of us and my mom seems annoyed because she worries about me getting to the airport. On the drive to Manila, I write my Lola in Tagalog how I am sorry we didn't say goodbye properly.

I write my cousin and my aunt their farewells too. I look out into the lush green freeway and feel the weight of heaviness on my heart. I am a 100% Filipino and yet the Philippines is not completely my home. I badly want it to be and I think it starts with language (something I am hoping to improve on).

My mom is busy on her phone preparing a post about a goodbye to me. Right outside of the airport after passing so much gentrified land of high rise condos, is a barangay that isn't tampered with. The streets are narrow and the place is lively. We head into the departure zone which has many helpers in purple shirts bringing your carts and directing you to your airlines. My mom takes one full photo of me and I ask for a selfie together. I wish we had a longer moment, a moment I kept wishing on that day.

We head into the Korean airlines line at 9am and it winds line a snake with 20 folds as it continues to pile. It makes me realize just how intentionally designed the Vegas airport is with mitigating every discomfort for a visitor with its efficiency. We're there for 2 hours in line (the longest I've ever been). My flight is at 12:50pm and I spend about 40 minutes waiting in immigration. I head to my gate with enough time to eat tocino and rice (my favorite breakfast meal). There are so many people on this flight and I recognize the woman who was standing in front of me earlier. I remember how pissed she was that someone paid to cut the line. Anything for a good tip with get you far in the Philippines.

I hear a few Americans talk about how they spent 1-2 weeks here and it was the time of their lives. Spending time in the province was a the time of my life, I never knew I could deserve to have: peace, quiet, and being unknown.

I look like every other Filipino here that no American attempts to talk to me. While waiting I find out my one airpod is left at my mom's. My technology mishaps feel like the ghosts were playing games with the girl they would miss.

We board the plane and I help the people around me load their luggage into the overhead bin. The woman who sits next to me had no upper body strength when she tried to put it up that I stood behind her and aided her arms.

We had yet again very yummy and portioned Korean food. I will miss this about the airline. When I get to Korea, I desperately look for a nail clipper since my nail broke. I had to roughly cut the manicured nails my mom paid for when I visited. Another sign that reality was consuming me. I wandered up and down the airport for the bathroom where Koreans were lathering up their beautiful skin care routine between flights.

I then head up to a food court to order some authentic Bimibap that my professor recommended. It was beyond delicious and I treasure those flavors forever.

While waiting for my flight, I stayed and journaled. A Korean American woman my age asked to sit with me because she was waiting for her food and there were no more chairs. I said sure. I trusted her enough to watch my things when I threw my tray. She guarded her bag from when she picked up her food to when she ate. I get it. I can be foolish about how I see my fellow humans (something I continue to shave off in my return to America).

I find my gate which moved from its original spot to a smaller gate packed with children. Korean summer started and all these families were taking their kids to Vegas. I sat on the floor away by the stores with enough sight to see when I could board. I sat again with a mother and daughter who could not articulate what they wanted to eat to the stewardess. The mother was getting sicker on the flight and I shared some of my pocket tissue with her. She asked me how could I be so kind? I shrug and laugh. I knew that I am built this way from the way I was raised between parents and teachers.

I helped the mother and daughter head out first by also pulling their luggage. The escalators were broken in Vegas and the lines were long again for immigration. I felt like the airport was trying to make Vegas appear unlivable to potential immigrants. That's my theory. We stood in line for another hour and a half after arriving for immigration clearance. I had my whole trip story ready for when I would be asked since so many passengers had to explain. But they let me pass easily and I wondered if the way I appeared was more American.

We were in a secluded baggage area with free carts. I quickly saw both my big bags and maneuvered like the strong lady I am seamlessly. Coy wasn't able to help me because there was another security gate before we could reach our families. I walked out and Coy greeted me with roses. We kissed and I was relieved to live through the turbulation I prayed through in the 10 hours to get from Korea to Vegas.

The mother and daughter passed me and Coy's reunion and the daughter looked surprised that I was married. Maybe she thought, how could a large Asian woman be married? hahaha, to be in America where ideas are bent and identities are explored.

This was so hard to write because someone could look at this day from travel as dull. But I don't live this life sleeping. I live it alive and see all the teachable moments and breath in all the blessings.

I aim to see my family again. I hope I do.

[thegreatimpersonator]

i cant believe this situation: https://www.tumblr.com/tolerateit/755358326500573184/over-the-last-4-years-ive-lent-5k-to-a-relative

is even worse than the info i shared before. utter financial irresponsibility. like giving a toddler a diamond ring and them losing it at the beach irresponsibility levels.

like i said i couldnt give them that high of an amount. i offered 1k because i cant afford anything more. they refused to take it. two days later they're showing me pics of their empty fridge and pantry. only the high amount works for them. they wont accept anything less. what the actual hell?! i am beyond pissed at how irresponsible they are. turns out they have time to get a job. they just want a high paying corporate one. with 0 experience. so "they dont have time" and "no one's hiring" is just for their dream corporate jobs. they never even looked at lower paying jobs because they're beneath them. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! when i was strapped for cash i went to the first place that was hiring and accepted whatever they offered. BECAUSE I WAS BROKE. you dont get to pick and choose when you're in a tough spot. you take whatever gets you out of that spot.

i don't even care about the past amount ive given. i can also overlook the 1k i offered that they adamantly refused. but this is preposterous. and not just that, they agreed to be godparents next month. which costs more money. but they couldn't refuse because "it's a noble deed". WHAT. you literally can't afford to put food on the table FOR YOUR OWN FAMILY but you agree to spend thousands on friends?! i. have. no. words.

i mean i have many words. none of them are good. they buy expensive shit in installments because allegedly they can afford those. but bought too many things and now they can't. well why buy a first class car? a cheaper one is more reliable because you can actually afford it. i have other family members on the other side in the same country as them that are actually rich and don't drive something that expensive. because they know what's affordable. and then this relative drives their car from that country to here "because it's cheaper" NOPE. it's like 1k just for the gas and pay tolls meanwhile plane tickets are 60$ a piece, and then you add luggage and maybe you get to 500 for the whole family. but no, they have an expensive car they have to show off to the locals. they "need" a car in this city that takes 20 minutes to walk from one end to the other. i cant even. they even have functioning public transport over there that all jobs subsidize that one of those rich family members i have refuses to give up. why get a second car when the bus picks them up 5 minutes from their home and drops them off in front of their workplace? but no this actual dumbass wants to flex what they dont even have. i dont even want to ask what the money i gave was spent on, im fine assuming it was for more expensive installments they can no longer afford. ugh

flexing on borrowed money is soooo dkkfkd manifesting that you get your money back within the next month because this is so frustrating???

[blonde-freckles]

And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70

He can feel the building begin to shake under his feet before it comes down. He only has a split second to dive under the closest table, with barely a moment to check his surroundings before it happens. The room shakes, windows rattling as the walls come crumbling down around him. It’s all a blur, thick dust clouding his vision. He can hear the screams echoing out across the building before it falls to silence, he’s trapped encased in rubble and dust. He hears the faint squeak of his radio struggling to pick up a channel through the collapse.

He can feel the panic starting to crawl up his lungs as he shifts his weight, so he's no longer holding it all on his knees.

He’s half way through calling in his location when Hailey’s voice cuts off the radio. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? What the hell Jay? I thought you were waiting.” He can hear the desperation in her voice as he squeezes his eyes shut trying to control his breathing.

“I’m okay...really, it’s barely a scratch. I’m just a little stuck right now.” He lets out a shaky breath before pulling the radio close to himself, he’s not sure who’s he’s trying to convince, himself or Hailey. “I thought...I thought I could talk him out of it.”

He really thought he could. He thought he had this. There was something about military cases that stirred something up in him, something no amount of hour sin therapy could ever fix. His need to help his brothers. The belief that what they’d seen bonded them in a way that would never be able to be broken, and no matter how many times he got burnt by this belief he never gave up trying.

The radio falls silent but he knows she’s there, he can hear her quiet breaths through the radio. “Fire is on the way Jay.” Her voice is quiet and controlled and in full work mode but all Jay can hear is her quiet breathing. This morning he’d spent the first few minutes of his day just watching her breathe, his arms wrapped so tightly around her, their legs tangled under the soft white sheets as the sunlight filtered through. Their warm little bubble, so safe and secure.

“Help...” A quiet voice breaks out drawing Jay's attention, it’s faint but he can hear it. “Help me please...”

His eyebrows furrow as he tries to work out the direction the pleas for help are coming from. He makes out a small gap in the distruction where the light is filtering in, carefully he reattaches his radio to his duty rig, shuffling down on his stomach, he pulls himself forward through the gap.

A steel beam lays across an elderly gentleman's legs, he looks late 70s maybe, with light grey hair now covered in dust, his hands holding tightly around the beam desperately pushing against it.

“Sir...” Jay jumps into action, crawling faster as he makes his way through the gap. “Sir are you all right?”

His brain kicks into work mode, shutting off any lingering thoughts on not making it out of here alive as he assesses this situation. The mans bleeding pretty heavily, his legs crushed on the beam that might be the only thing stopping him from bleeding out. It’s far too heavy for Jay to lift or even try to shift, instead he manages to use his belt as a makeshift tourniquet.

He calls through the radio, listening intently as Brett comes over the air waves to get an idea of the gentleman’s injuries. When Jay does manage to finally slow the bleeding the radio crackles back to silence and Jay looks down at his blood stained hands, wiping them on his jeans in the hopes the gentleman won’t see just how much there is as he sits beside him.

“You’re a detective you say?”

“Yes...erm sorry I never got your name.”

“Arthur Brady...I would say nice to meet you but...” The man half chuckles as Jay gives him a short nod wondering how he could be so chipper in a moment like this, surely he can feel the extent of his injuries, even if he can't he can definitely see the severity of the situation.

“Whatever you do Jay keep him talking until we get there.”

Bretts words echo in his mind.

“Arthur...Arthur talk to me...tell me what brought you here today.”

Time seems to tick by slowly, the faint crackle of Jays radio fading in and out every so often. Fire had arrived, but it was gonna be a long wait until they could get to them. The building was not on steady ground and the aim was to get as many people out alive as possible, however long that took. Hailey's voice had only come through the radio once more in that time, just to say the bomber's body had been pulled from the wreckage near the exit...he hadn’t made it. In the meantime Jay continues to probe Arthur with more questions in the hope it will keep him awake, but he’s also glad for the distraction that it provides him. Sitting still, having nothing to do...that’s never been Jay's speed. He learns that Arthur was at the bank to get some cash out for his granddaughters 21s birthday, he has two daughters and a son and 6 grandchildren. He was a wedding photographer for 47 years before he retired 10 years ago.

“My wife Katherine...oh she’s beautiful. You know we’ve been married 53 years this year..." Arthur explains as he pulls a worn leather wallet from his top pocket, handing it over. Jay could see the old photo inside, it’s slightly faded but he can make out the image of a bride on her wedding day, the vail thrown back over her hair to reveal her smiling brightly at someone behind the camera.

"So what's the secret to making it work?" Jay questions, his gaze falling back to his own phone and the photo of Hailey that lights up his background. He’d dragged her along on a hike a while back, with the promise of getting doughnuts after. She’d been laughing at something he’d said as the sun went down behind her, making her blonde curls glow and he’d snapped the pic before she’d had a chance to protest.

"Marry your best friend. Marry someone you can laugh with. The kind of laugh that makes your belly ache, and your nose snort. Marriage is hard. Life is harder. There are days when you'll wanna walk but as long as your relationship is buried deep in friendship you'll always find your way. You think you might know someone like that?" Arthur asks with a slight twinkle in his eye as he nods towards the phone in Jay's hand.

Jay nods, a soft smile growing on his face as he runs his thumb across the photo on his screen, handing Arthur back his own photo. “Yeah I think I do...and she’s almost guaranteed to be just outside this building right now, she’s gonna be so pissed at me for being here.”

“I don’t think Katherine will be too happy either...will you...will you tell me about her?...what’s her name?” He nods down towards Jay's phone again.

“Hailey.” Jay whispers softly, he can already see her arms folded across her chest, tapping her foot impatiently on the street, eyes trained on every person emerging from the wreckage. Honestly what he wouldn’t give to hear her knowing tone telling him that she’s sick of hospital waiting rooms right now.

“She sort of came out of nowhere, I wasn’t really looking for anything when we met, actually...there was someone else when we met. I couldn’t even tell you the moment everything changed...trust me I’ve tried to work it out but it’s just like one day she was my partner and friend and the next she was the one person I could never live without. I remember looking over at her years ago and thinking I could lose all this...this job. This job that I’ve let define me for so long but it wouldn’t matter as long as I was with her.”

“Sounds like you’re in deep...How come you’re not married?”

“Oh we haven’t been dating that long...I...we still have some things to figure out.” Jay swallows, if he’s honest he’d marry Hailey tomorrow. He’d have married her six months ago given the chance. As soon as they started dating he knew he couldn’t ever imagine spending his life with someone else. He knew it a week in, he’d come in from an early morning run to find her sitting on the kitchen island coffee cup in hand, his t-shirt hanging loosely on her body as she read the morning news. She’d handed him his coffee without so much as a second glance and he’d known in that exact moment. It had taken everything in him not to get down on one knee right then and there.

Things had changed since their first I love you, he was even more careful with her. He didn’t want her to be overwhelmed, he wanted to help her in any way he could. She was trying, really trying and she had gotten good at letting him know when she felt flustered by their relationship, when she needed space or when she needed reassurance. He was all too happy to comply, he was happy to do whatever it took to make this work.

“Don’t waste time...not with the people you love.” The sad look on Arthur’s face like he’s almost defeated makes Jay think the elder man might be close to giving up as his eyes flicker shut briefly.

“Tell me more about Katherine.” Jay urges, he wraps a hand around Arthur's wrist, checking his pulse as he does. It’s weak.

“She’s the dream. I was a New Yorker you see, born and bread...was only here for a wedding 54 years ago when I saw her through the window of a cafe”

“And you knew right then and there?”

“God no.” Arthur begins to laugh but it turns into him choking as he struggles to catch his breath. “I don’t believe in love at first sight. Love...real true love takes work and a lot of it. You’ve got to choose that person every single day.” He croaks out, his eye sparkling as he recalls the memory in his mind. “What I did know was she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. I was a young man at the time, full of a confidence I had no real right having.” Jay chuckles, he’s been there, the cocky confident guy in his 20s thinking he knew it all. “I could never have known the love that would’ve formed, so deep it almost shook me to my core. I’d never been in love before, but I’d seen others, especially in my line of work and then I got it, I got why people behave the way they did. I remember thinking if this is what love feels like I get why it starts wars.” He’s words trail off and Jay watches the way his head drops slightly.

“Hey, Arthur...Arthur we’re almost out you hear me. Stay with me now Arthur. Katherine is waiting, she's still waiting for you.”

“Will you tell her...”

Jay shakes his head furiously. Leaning up as he twists his radio, calling out for an update. “No no...I’m not going to pass on any messages.” He mumbles, grabbing hold of both Arthur’s shoulders. “You’re gonna tell her Arthur...Katherines waiting for you.”

“You tell her I loved her and that she made my world a better place.” He mutters before his eyes roll back and Jay begins to bark down his radio desperate for anyone to respond.

It is only seconds later the loud ringing of a drill sounds and Kelly Severide’s voice echoes around them. Jay can feel the relief flooding through him as the familiar uniform comes into view.

-

“Jay...” The bright sunlight is a stark contrast from the darkness he’d been buried in the last few hours, the buzz of the scene hitting him is almost deafening as he hears orders being shouted out. “Jay...” Hailey’s voice stands out amongst the noise. As he steps out away from the building, he’s ushered past the destruction zone and he can hear Brett asking him to sit but he’s too focused on finding Hailey as he scans that area.

He hears more commotion behind him watching with bated breath as Arthur is pulled from the rubble, he’s attached to a bodyboard, as the next set of paramedics rush to his aid.

He doesn't even see her approach before he feels her arms wrapping tightly around him, he releases a breath he’s been holding since the building first blew as his arms wind themselves around her waist, he sticks his face into the side of her neck letting the wisps of blonde that’s fallen loose from her ponytail tickle his face as he does. They’ve never been ones for any type of public affection, while they’re on the clock anyway but right now he can’t bring himself to care. He breaks away after a while, already missing her touch but he knows they have an audience. He watches as they lower Arthur down onto the gurney wheeling him their way.

“Is this her...is this your Hailey?” He coughs, struggling as they place the oxygen mask over his mouth.

Jay can see Hailey glance his way, shooting him a silent question. “Yeah, this is her.” Jay nods, crouching down closer to Arthur.

“I’m gonna go get Katherine okay? I’m gonna bring her to you Arthur so don’t go anywhere.” Jay grips hold of Arthur’s hand, making sure the man sees the sincerity in his eyes as Sylvie lets him know that they need to move now. “Take care of my girl and I’ll take care of yours okay?” Jay asks, glancing back at Hailey who’s just watching silently.

“Deal...”

He steps back letting them get him into the ambulance as he turns back to Hailey. He can see from the look on her face she has a lot to say and he’ll happily listen to everything but just not right now. “Hey I’m okay I promise I’m okay and I'll sit and get a full checkout at the hospital just to please you but first I have something to do, please just trust me and keep Arthur company until I get to the hospital.”

“Erm sure okay...”

Jay smiles as she agrees without question, pressing a firm kiss on Hailey's forehead surprising her before he’s rushing off through the crowd without another word.

-

Hailey loses sight of Jay almost as quickly as she finds him, her heart is still thumping in her chest as she tries to keep reminding herself that he's alive, he’s alive and safe and doing whatever the hell he does. She'd done as he asked, joining the man he'd been pulled from the rubble with into the ambulance.

The ambulance roars into life and she watches as the elderly man begins to pull down his oxygen mask much to the dismay of the newest recruit to 51, his hand shaking as it reaches out for Haileys.

She takes his hand in hers. It’s cold but it squeezes onto hers tightly. She’d heard the tail end of their conversation. “You take care of my girl...I’ll take care of yours.” She’s not sure what Jay has planned but she trusts him, no questions asked.

“That man loves you more than life itself dear.” Arthur croaks and the tears that she refused to let fall in front of all their colleagues finally fall, splashing against her cheeks, his words catching her off guard.

-

The E.R is a mess, overrun with victims from the blast, no one can tell her anything as Arthur is rushed off for surgery, she’s not family, she has no right to know. So instead she takes a seat in the corner out of the way of the chaos.

She thinks she might be dreaming when he finally emerges through the doors, still dressed in his blood-stained clothes, an elderly woman holding tightly to his arm as he leads her through the crowd and towards the front desk. His eyes find hers quickly like he doesn’t even need to search for her, he just knows where she is and the small smile that plays on his lips as their eyes meet is enough for her.

-

It’s hours later when Katherine and Arthur are finally reunited. Jay helps Katherine towards his room, stopping in the doorway as Hailey hangs back. She’s still not sure what the infinity with this couple is but she’ll go along with it if that’s what Jay wants.

“That’s gonna be us one day.” He mutters quietly as the door slips shut and he steps back out into the hallway. Hailey raises her eyebrows in surprise as Jay makes his way around her, his arms encircling her waist as he leans his chin on top of her head. Both of them watching the elderly couple through the window. The way Katherine caresses Arthur’s face as he presses a kiss to her hand. The look of pure joy to see each other is so evident in their faces.

“Minus the major bleed and building collapse I hope.” She hums, leaning back into his embrace, finally feeling at ease as the weight of the day seems to slip away.

He nestles his face into her neck, pressing a light kiss to her skin. “I make no promises...”

“Hey...” she laughs, shaking her head as she places her hands on top of his, she can feel his lip quirk up into a grin against her neck and it makes her own lips turn up. “How are we going to grow old together if you keep being so reckless?”

“That’s what you love about me.”

Hailey turns in his arms, slipping her arms around his waist, one hand stroking his back softly. “I assure you it’s not...but I do love you.” She whispers the last part, she still struggles to say the words but each time she does it feels a little easier, like the words that were once so dark get a shade lighter each time she says them or hears them fall from his lips.

She watches as Jay takes a sharp breath, before resting his forehead against hers, closing his eyes softly just breathing her in. “I’m gonna say something. It’s not a question it’s just a thought...okay? I’m giving you fair warning for when the time comes.”

Hailey narrows her eyes but nods anyway, letting him pull her to the side as the hallway becomes busier. “I love you...you’re my best friend and...”

“And?”

“And I’m gonna marry you one day.”

Her blue eyes widen for a second and Jay bites down on his lips to stop the smile that comes every time he looks at her. He can see the thoughts whirling through her mind like waves crashing around the ocean. He feels her arms squeeze his waist a little tighter before she simply shrugs. “Okay...” she mumbles , laying her head back against his chest as she turns her gaze back towards Arthur and Katherine. They stand there for a moment in silence and he wonders if she can see what he can...a glimpse at their future. His thoughts are confirmed when he feels her lips pressed to his cheek curling up into a smile against him. “Okay...I’ll marry you one day.”

[seijorhi]

mmmm i have been on a bokuto kick n ur bo content is so yummy....i have been fed....

So I’ve been thinking about Bokuto a lot lately, particularly timeskip Jackals Bo 😌

TW implied kidnapping and very slightly nsfw

You know that friend who’s in a relationship, but you’ve never met their partner and there’s a running joke that they don’t actually exist? That’s Bokuto with his team.

Because that man is head over heels in love with you, spends all his time at training just gushing about you - how pretty and perfect you are, the fancy romantic anniversary dinner he had planned for you guys, how the two of you spent his day off together watching replays of his old games. All romantic, soft, coupley shit. And of course there’s all that locker room talk as well. Sakusa might just gag if he has to listen to Bokuto describe how many rounds you went for the night before, or how he made you cum from riding his thighs alone one more time.

But the thing is... none of them have ever met you. You don’t come to their games (not even the home ones), you don’t ever drop by to watch their practices or pick Bokuto up to hang out afterwards. You’re mysteriously absent from all their official events, which inevitably means that the wing spiker will spend the whole thing moping about and constantly checking on his phone - but none of them can ever seem to get a real reason as to why you don’t show up.

He always has an excuse - you don’t do well with big crowds, and your job keeps you busy (no one can ever seem to get out of him what exactly that job is), but fuck, you don’t even come to the monthly team dinners and that’s like 20 people max! They’re good guys, they’re not gonna go out of their way to make you feel uncomfortable if that’s what you’re nervous about!

Atsumu’s even gotten to the stage where he’s searched your name up on Facebook, Instagram, even twitter but if you have ‘em they’re certainly not easy to find.

And Bokuto claims to have pictures of the two of you together - showing them a selfie he’d taken of him and you lying in bed, with you asleep and curled up by his side. There’s more on the camera roll, but he’s adamant that those aren’t quite so innocent, and are for his personal viewing only. For a guy that never shuts up about you, he’s weirdly private about the whole thing. It took both Hinata, Atsumu and Inunaki teasing for almost an hour before Bokuto would even show them the first pic at all.

The look in eyes though, the lovesick. dopey grin as he swiped onto the image was kind of hard to deny.

“Isn’t she beautiful?”

But if you guys really were a couple, and Bokuto wasn’t paying you to pose as his make believe girlfriend as Atsumu had jokingly suggested - surely you could make a little more effort to get to know the rest of the team? They’re a family (despite what Omi-omi claims), and it’s weird hearing Bokuto fawn over you six days a week without actually knowing all that much about you.

It’s only when they manage to wrangle a reunion of sorts with old friends, Daichi, Kuroo, Akaashi and a few others drinking with the Jackals in a fancy bar downtown that they begin to think that maybe there is a reason you’re kept away from them. It’s all harmless teasing at first, laughing at Bokuto stepping out to call his ‘fake girlfriend’ when Akaashi gets an confused look on his face.

Atsumu assumes that it’s because he doesn’t get the joke - out of everyone, surely Akaashi, being Bokuto’s closest friend, has to have met this mysterious woman. Except Akaashi just looks puzzled at the revelation that Bokuto’s dating at all.

And holy fuck, they think they’ve finally caught him out in the lie. His own best friend has never heard of this chick, she has to be fake! This is the greatest, most ridiculous thing that’s ever happened and they are never, ever going to let Bo live it down!

It’s only when Sakusa offhandedly mentions your name while Atsumu laughs that ‘he even had photos!’ that Akaashi’s face pales and he abruptly excuses himself, hurrying out the same door Bokuto left a few minutes earlier.

[modern-naiad]

Yachi's Ball

(Yachi x platonic!Karasuno VB team)

This was a headcanon that spiraled out of control so now its a fic I guess. I wrote it at like 1-2am, its not really proof-read. angst to fluff I guess? Obviously I would never want this to happen to my girl Yachi, but I had this idea and I thought it was kinda wholesome so... here you go, enjoy!

So let's say theres like a school dance or event going on and Yachi happens to have a crush on someone in one of her classes. She feels so lucky and happy when they ask her to go with them, she is overjoyed at practice talking to Kiyoko about it, the team overhearing, is happy she's happy. She and Kiyoko plan to go shopping for their dresses and excitedly plan for the magical night.

The night of the dance rolls around, her date told her they'd meet her there, so nervously she enters the crowded school gym. She had arrived with Kiyoko after she had helped her get ready, they both "look like a million bucks" according to Tanaka and Noya who almost too quickly upon Kiyoko's arrival stole her away to dance...it was almost as if they were waiting at the entrance for her arrival...

ANYWAY. Yachi is quick to assure Kiyoko that she can go have fun with the boys and that her date would be there soon, it had only been 10 minutes past their agreed meeting time, they were probably just running a little late. So Yachi waits, lingering near the entrance nursing a cup of punch as 10 minutes go by, then 20, then 30. As time seems to drag on and no messages come from her supposed date she starts feeling frustrated. Frustrated with how optimistically happy she was when they had asked her, frustrated by how much time she spent talking about how much she looking forward to tonight, frustrated with how much money she put into her outfit, how much time she took to do her hair and makeup, with how she had taken up Kiyokos time to help her, and of course how frustrated she was with her date. She's an understanding person, if something came up she would have understood, but not a single text was exchanged and she just felt so dumb about the whole thing.

She'd lost Kiyoko and the two rambunctious 2nd years over 40 minutes ago. In the crowd of bodies moving around her short stature and anxious nature did not help her efforts to look around for a familiar face, even with the damn heels that had been nothing but cruel to her feet. Not wanting to call her mother to come pick her up she decided to become a wallflower, finding a nice spot to lay low. She didn't want to cry, but she felt as if she were on the verge of tears, embarrassed by the whole situation, head lowered, tightly clenching her near empty cup of second refill punch by her side.

It's only then, when she is about to make a break for some fresh air outside, or an empty classroom, or maybe the volleyball gym, or literally anywhere but the cursed dance that she notices many sets of mens dress shoes appear on the floor she was so intently staring at. As she looks up there the boys volleyball team stands, dressed in their best formal wear, a certain Shōyō Hinata stands right in front of her, a hand extended towards her. "Can we have this dance?" he asks with the same determination and enthusiastic tone he has when it come to the sport he loves so much. She looks around the group, all the boys looking at her expectantly, some with sympathetic faces, others with bright smiles, and some somewhere in between. However, those faces turn to frowns as she lets the tears fall. She is quickly pulled in for a hug by Kiyoko, but as the boys begin to awkwardly apologize, she wipes them away and expresses her gratitude for the sweet boys who have tried so hard to bring a smile back to her face after seeing her standing dejectedly on a wall.

Claiming this was the sweetest thing anyones ever done for her, she smiles through the remaining (happy) tears, going in for a large group hug. The boys gladly huddle around her, when they release from a hug she thanks them again, explaining her frustrations which had lead them to this point. There are exchanges of threats and trash talk about her so called date, most notably the "piece of shit" from Kageyama and a "looks like I'll be having a little chart with someone" from Daichi. Tanaka and Noya reiterate enthusiastically that she looks so pretty, Sugawara laughs as he gives her a little twirl, showing her off. She giggles as well before stopping in front of a flustered Yamaguchi who manages to stumble out a sincere "You look beautiful Yachi-san", she flushes deeply at the compliment and thanks him. She is now smiling brightly, looking around, happy she has such great friends, when Hinata prompts again, "Now, how about that dance?". She takes his hand and exclaims, "lets go have fun, I did't get all dolled up for nothing" she jokes. With that she, Kiyoko, and the gentlemen of the boys volleyball team take to the dance floor! They dance in a group having a fun time, some (*cough* the first years *cough*) offer her solo dances when slower songs arrive, graciously accepting she dances the night away.

Her trash date isn't even on her mind, she's just happy she had such a good time with the boys who she takes care of at practice taking care of her for a night. When the dance comes to a close the group decides to go out for some late night, trash food. Tsuki offering to carry her heels as they walk through the grass outside. After their bellies are filled with food and exhaustion takes over they call it a night, but not before more thank you's and hugs are exchanged.

By the end of the night many photos and videos were taken and posted on Instagram, captions ranging from "happy I could make you smile" to a more ballsy "their loss". Yachi herself posts a series of photos, the first being a group photo of her and the boys, captioning it something along the lines of "the Karasuno Boys Volleyball team, sure know how to make a girl feel special! Very grateful to call you all my friends 🥰". Other photos are of her and Kiyoko, some solo shots of her (not pictured the boys hyping her up), a first year group photo, some duo shots, and lets not forget the pic of everyone in their formal wear chowing down on greasy fries, burgers, and milkshakes!

Needless to say when her "date" sees the post they know they missed out. Hitoka Yachi is ✨t h a t ✨girl and now everyone knows it.

I hope you all enjoyed, I know I haven't been putting out much original content, but every now and then I have some sparks of inspiration and time lol. I've been taking some summer classes, but my last one should finish up soon so I might be able to put out some more content for you guys ( I say that like a whole bunch of people read my shit and follow me lol) anyway, as always feel free to reblog, please leave a comment or like if you know, you liked it lol. Even though I don’t consider myself a serious writer I appreciate the validation 😂

also tagging my mutual, @aka-ashi-keiji (mwahahaha more fluff!)

<3 marveling

[aliwritesss]

~ Nothin’ like us

Pairings: Hyunjae x reader

Genre: idol au, angst, happy ending

———————————

You didn’t expect it. Not in the slightest.

No one from your group prepared anything and now you have to pull up something or you’ll be embarrassed on national TV. You can feel the stares and uncomfortable shifts from your members, no one thought they’d ask so suddenly to sing, since it was supposed to be a interview. Answer some questions, joke around for a bit and you’ll be able to go home.

- These days your group is quite famous for doing covers! One even went viral a few days ago... When I saw it I got so emotional, it was really touching -. Oh god, I can’t do this you think. You feel the hand of one of the girls touch you slightly, telling they’re here. If they’re talking about the one you did on vlive, it’s not going to end well. You were live just chilling with your fans and suddenly that song popped up, making everyone ask you to sing a bit.

- So I hope I’m not asking too much, but (Y/N) would you sing a bit for us? - You can feel sweat dripping from your back. That song meant the world to you, and you were not ready to sing it live with so many people staring at you. One thing is doing it in a live in your practice room where you are with your fans, being safe from tricky questions but this was different.

- I know you didn’t prepare it but I really hope it’s okay -. Says the MC looking at you with puppy eyes and you see how Sonbok, the leader of your group, is going to kindly decline the offer but that’ll be worse, it’ll look unprofessional and will make the atmosphere tense.

- Yeah, okay -. You say before she can say anything and you feel her looking worriedly at you. They know you weren’t ready to do it, they might ask questions after and will make the situation worse.

- Great! We even prepared a piano, we knew you wouldn’t let us down -. Says the MC happily and you see the staff taking out a small electric piano. You let nervous sigh and and go to take a seat.

- So... The song is Nothin like us... I hope you like it -. You say trembling. The song that makes your heart break for Hyunjae, your ex-boyfriend.

(...Lately I've been thinking, thinking 'bout what we had.

I know it was hard, it was all that we knew, yeah...)

You start singing with a trembling voice. All the memories suddenly come to you, hitting you like a car. It’s been almost a month since you broke up with Hyunjae and you didn’t move on, the pain felt the same way as it did the first day, unbearable.

You two met two years ago in a music show and since that day you’ve been in love with him. The way he’s shy at first, looking at everyone so serious and only standing there, it made you curious. “Why doesn’t he say anything? Maybe he doesn’t like me?” Boy, were you wrong... Once you started to get comfortable with each other, it was chaos.

He made you laugh, could make you shiver like no one did before, knew how you were feeling by just looking at you. He even was there when no one was. Didn’t leave your side even in the darkest times.

But it’s all gone now.

(...Have you been drinking to take all the pain away?

I wish that I could give you what you deserve…)

That���s what you wanted to say to him. Are you doing okay? You deserve the whole world and I’m sorry I can't give it to you.

Kevin and Changmin told you that he was miserable, he wouldn’t eat for days and couldn’t focus properly when they practiced. They begged you to talk to him, to tell him that it's gonna be okay, that you were there for him but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. No when you knew he deserved better. Someone who could be there for him.

Even though the breakup was mutual because of your schedules, you both knew you didn’t want to do it. And that’s the worst part, when you can’t be with the person you love.

(...Cause nothing can ever, ever replace you

Nothing can make me feel like you do…)

You feel your voice starting to break, but you keep going. The day after you broke up, the first thought that came to your mind was “ I can’t do this, I can’t do this without him.”

You remembered the first night you spent together, both of you just finished your promotions for your comeback and were tired as hell. But one day you received a message from him telling you “ Pack some things, we’re going on a trip. Picking you up in 20.” Till this day, that is your best weekend ever.

You went to the outskirts of Seoul, nothing too fancy. Only a little house in the middle of a forest to have some privacy, and since it was the end of September it wasn’t too hot or cold.

He was so excited to be there with you and kept saying the whole ride how he was going to prepare some fancy dinner, but that ended up with the two of you making a mess in the kitchen and eating ramen on the floor.

You still have this pic of him, having flour all over his face, trying to kiss you with the biggest smile.

(...You know there's no one, I can relate to

And know we won't find a love that's so true…)

You start to feel tears in the corner of your eyes but at this point you don’t care anymore.

“ I just want to tell you before I go that you made me so happy, and I’m thankful to have met you. You’ll always be my first love and I hope I can find you in another life, one that we can be together forever” That’s what he said the day you both broke up. You were so angry with the universe, Why did you have to meet the love of your life only to not be together?

The hardships, the rumors, the stress, the fans, the pressure… No one could relate like him. No one understood you like him.

And you knew you needed him to keep your sanity.

(...I gave you everything, baby, everything I had to give

Girl, why would you push me away? yeah….)

You both gave everything in this relationship.

He was your first time and you were his, in every aspect. He was so caring, it made you feel like a goddess. Every time your skin touched his, you felt the electricity.

Thanks to him, you were able to finally understand what true love is. What it means to have a friend, a lover, a confidant, a partner in crime all in one person. He was the reason you could keep going everyday.

But as the days went by, both of you started to grow apart because of schedules… So many things to prepare. You couldn't see the difference between day or night anymore. However even though you both tried with all your power to make it work, it wasn’t possible, the day only had 24 hours and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't find time for your relationship.

(...Lost in confusion, like an illusion

You know I'm used to making your day…)

You remember the nights you spent in their practice room, watching them dance and practice for their performances. How many sleepless nights you spent with them, but you didn’t care the slightest because every hour was worth it.

How many times have you called him crying in the middle of a day because you thought you couldn’t do this anymore? But you only needed to hear him laugh to make you feel better.

How many times did you send selcas in between your schedules? Or how many times did he send you dorky and cute videos telling you how much he loved you?

You still have every single pic and video in your phone, and you weren’t going to delete them any time soon.

(...But that is the past now, we didn't last now

I guess that this is meant to be, yeah

Tell me was it worth it? We were so perfect…)

This part hits you home and that’s when your tears start to fall.

You would live this life again if that meant being with Hyunjae. You love him so much, and are so grateful to have met him that even if you didn’t get your happy ending, you would go through hell again only for a last kiss.

Every single minute was worth it.

(...There's nothing like us, there's nothing like you and me

Together through the storm

There's nothing like us, there's nothing like you and me

Together…)

You’re not singing anymore for the people.

You’re only singing to Hyunjae and you mean every word.

There’s nothing like your relationship.

There’s nothing like him and you together.

There’s nothing like your love.

You finish the song with your eyes closed and trembling hands. Everything is so quiet that you are afraid to open your eyes.

And after that everything goes in a blur, you only remember the MC thanking you many times, the arms of one of the girls wrapped around you, taking you to the car and raining non-stop.

You finally get home and can’t wait to go straight to your room and cry your eyes out. You get out of your car and start running to your dorms, only to find someone sitting in the rain.

To find the love of your life waiting for you.

You stare at each other for a few seconds, and once you realize he’s actually there you go straight to him running and wrap yourself around him. How much have you missed his arms, his kisses. He was your safe place.

- I saw it -. He says quietly and you know he’s crying too. - You don't know how much I missed you, love-. You feel the rain pouring but you don’t care anymore, if you are with him you’ll get together through the storm.

- I’m not gonna let you go ever again. Because there’s nothin like us -.

[cutesuki--bakugou]

XO

Main Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Koge Naegi (OC)

Story Rating: Explicit

Genre: Fluff / Romance / Domestic

Story Warnings: Phone sex, sexting, dirty and degrading talk, Bakugou’s really fluffy don’t @ me. 

a/n: I was going to do like... the fake text screenshots along with this story and draw the pictures that they are sending to each other, but I was just getting too frustrated with it and I couldn’t find the time I needed to do it all, so I’m just gonna go with normal text lol. Maybe next time! 

Tagging @lady-bakuhoe​​ ‘cause she’s been so excited about this and pumping me up about it, and @rhombea​​ ‘cause she read it over and helped me with it, and just because I adore them both.  (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

Art in banner by me

Me = Koge Cutesuki = Bakugou

Me 3:03 AM: I miss you, Katsuki. I can’t sleep. (>﹏<)

A small sigh left Koge’s lips as she stared at her phone screen, rolling over onto her side to face the wall. The spot beside her was empty, the pillow untouched and the sheets cold, which was something she wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to. Sure, she had spent many nights alone when her lover was off on a trip or on a late-night job, but that didn’t matter. No amount of time could make her get used to being alone, not when she was so used to and craved his presence. It was truly miserable when he was gone, even though she did everything she could think of to try and distract herself. 

She spent time with her friends, watched movies, played video games, did yoga and meditation, went shopping, read books, and anything else she could possibly squeeze in so that the only time she was undistracted was while attempting to sleep. Along with texts and phone calls from him, she could get by, especially if the trip was only a few days or a week. But right now, he had been gone for a month. All the distractions in the world couldn’t stop her loneliness now, and what was worse, he was on the other side of the world in America. 

There was a huge hero conference being held in New York and being one of the top young heroes in Japan, he had been invited along with quite a few others. He was horribly busy, every day being either an event for the conference, meetings, or doing touristy things with his friends that had gone with him. Koge was glad that he wasn’t alone, with at least Kirishima and Midoriya there to keep him company, but damn was she jealous. She wished that she had been able to go with him, too, but her work responsibilities at home prevented her from leaving. 

It didn’t help that the times were so different on top of everything else. It was difficult for Koge to find time to talk to Bakugou for more than a few minutes over the phone, since he was 13 hours behind her in time. Right now, for him, it was just past two in the afternoon, meaning that he was probably in the middle of an event or maybe eating lunch. 

Meanwhile, Koge laid in bed, alone, cold, and bundled up in multiple fleece blankets for comfort as she waited for his response. 

When her phone buzzed in her hand sooner than expected, her eyes were instantly on the new text message, cuddling up tighter under the blankets. 

Cutesuki 3:07 AM: you need to try to sleep, utsuro. its late. 

Me 3:07 AM: I know, but… It’s hard without you. (｡•́︿•̀｡) I’m cold. 

Cutesuki 3:08 AM: i already know youre bundled up under all those fucking blankets, probably wearing my clothes, too. spray some of my cologne on my pillow or something. 

Me 3:08 AM: You know me so well. ( ◡‿◡ *) I am just as you say. And I already put some on my pillow… I didn’t want to mess with yours. 

Cutesuki 3:09 AM: considerate. of course youre in my clothes, might as well throw all of yours out. 

Me 3:09 AM: Hehe… ( ´ ▽ ` ) They’re just so comfy! 

Cutesuki 3:09 AM: which? 

Immediately, Koge felt heat rush to her cheeks, biting down onto her bottom lip as her stomach fluttered. He wanted to know what she was wearing. He had to be out and about right now, so what was he getting at? 

During trips like this, the two of them were no strangers to phone sex, exchanging sexy pictures or messing around on video chat if they were able. Sadly, Bakugou was also sharing a hotel room with his friends to save on funds, so time alone was scarce for him. In fact, the entire time he had been gone, they hadn’t been able to have more than a slightly flirtatious conversation before he had to go. Koge’s toys could satisfy her in the moment, but nothing could ever compare to the way he made her feel and the pleasure they could create together. Just the thought of the intimacy they shared made her body grow hot, squeezing her bare thighs together to try and relieve the new aching at her hips. 

Cutesuki 3:11 AM: well?

Sitting up, Koge reached over and turned on the lamp on the bedside table before leaning back against the headboard. Holding her phone out, she took a selfie, doing her best to make sure she got a flattering angle that showed her body beneath his black skull t-shirt and her bare legs, with a playful smirk and a peeking tongue being all that was visible of her face. Satisfied, she sent it to him, settling down to wait with her legs stretched out in front of her. As she waited, her heart only pounded harder in her chest, hoping that is what he had wanted to see.

Me 3:12 AM: (*´︶`*)

Cutesuki 3:16 AM: fuck. 

Cutesuki 3:16 AM: it would be that shirt. 

Cutesuki 3:16 AM: youre so predictable. 

Me 3:17 AM: Well if you know, why’d you want to see? (¬‿¬ )

Cutesuki 3:18 AM: i need something to jack off to. 

Koge’s body was immediately covered in goosebumps, making her shiver and squeal quietly to herself, bringing her phone up to her lips and kicking her legs like an excited child. Maybe he finally had some time to himself? Or was he hiding away in a bathroom somewhere? Any option turned her on. 

Me 3:18 AM: That’s all that’ll get you off, huh? ┐(︶▽︶)┌ Guess my job is done. 

Cutesuki 3:19 AM: dont be a smartass. more. 

Me 3:19 AM: More? (◕‿◕✿)

Cutesuki 3:19 AM: now bitch. or would you rather miss out on this? 

Within the next few seconds, he sent in his own picture, displaying his hips, clad in grey sweatpants. He seemed to be sitting on a bed with what looked to be a hotel room behind him, but that didn’t matter to Koge. All she was focused on was his hand, which was clutching onto the hard form of his cock beneath the fabric, showing off his size. Feeling as if her heart was in her throat, Koge squeezed and rubbed her thighs together, looking over every inch of him she could see, from the peek of his belly beneath his shirt to the strong veins that ran along his rugged hand and up his arm. “Damn you, Katsuki! You hot asshole.” 

Me 3:20 AM: Challenging me, huh? (ಠ_ಠ)

Cutesuki 3:20 AM: im threatening you. show me your tits. 

Unable to stop the smirk that crossed her lips, Koge pulled the t-shirt up, holding the bottom hem of it between her teeth. With only slight position and maneuvering, Koge was able to get a similar selfie as the one a moment ago, showing her legs, torso, and mouth. This time, she had the shirt taught so that it held her breasts in place, only showing a nice and plump peek of the bottom of them, along with her stomach. Her mouth was in a teasing smile, teeth shown clamped down around the shirt, and little pale blue undies fit snugly on her hips. 

Me 3:23 AM: (¯▿¯)

Cutesuki 3:26 AM: fuck youre such a tease. 

Cutesuki 3:26 AM: i miss you. 

A new picture came along with his message, bringing a new wave of heat to her already aching cunt. His cock was now out of his pants, hard and irresistible, crowned with a dribble of precum that had begun its descent down the underside of his head. He wasn’t touching it, using his free hand to hold his sweats down out of the way instead, but Koge could still see a little dark area that had gotten wet before he decided to expose himself. He had also removed his shirt at some point, so his muscular frame was visible. 

Giving a frustrated groan, Koge slipped her hand between her legs, beginning to lightly stroke along her sex outside of her underwear. Already soaked through, she couldn’t get her eyes off the picture, nibbling at her bottom lip as she pleasured herself. Every vein and girthy inch of him had her entire body on fire, wanting more than anything for him to shove that beautiful cock down her throat. She missed his hands on her body, the warmth of him against her and how delicious he tasted. 

Me 3:28 AM: Ooh, I get the dick before I even show you the tits? You must be horny.

Cutesuki 3:28 AM: you’re killing me.

Me 3:29 AM: ԅ(≖‿≖ԅ)

Sinking down a bit more against the headboard, Koge pulled the t-shirt up over her breasts, being sure to hold her arms in a way that nicely squished them together. Her recently fully healed nipple piercings gleamed in the dim light, and since they were so enticing, Koge decided to get a shot of the other piercing. Getting her mouth in the frame, she opened wide and let her tongue loll out, displaying the piercing on the wet muscle as well. He had yet to really get the chance to play with her with them both fully healed, so she knew this would set him off. 

Cutesuki 3:32 AM: fuck. I want to fuck that pretty mouth

Me 3:33 AM: Want to fuck my throat raw, huh? Or maybe my tits? 

Cutesuki 3:33 AM: show them closer. 

Me 3:33 AM: nuh uh. Pic for pic, right? 

Koge moved her fingers back between her legs, rubbing her clit on the outside of her soaked panties. Though, what she received wasn’t a picture. It was a video, the preview making her immediately slip her hand inside her underwear for direct and more vigorous contact. 

Pressing play, she felt her entire body quiver at the view, which was filmed from where she would assume his left knee would be. The frame tilted up, his hips all the way up to his nose was visible, showing a clear view of him pumping his cock and frustrated snarl. 

“Pic for pic, Utsuro? You fucking tease. Hmn, fuck-“ His voice cut off with a grunt, followed by a deep groan as he picked up the pace on jacking off. “Show me what you really want, whore.”

When the video cut off, Koge couldn’t resist playing it again, beginning to plunge two of her fingers in and out of her pussy as she watched him. It was so hot, his voice so gruff and filled with passion, that sexy growl with each degrading word making her heart race faster. She could only imagine what he’d be doing with that sexual tension; his hand around her throat as he fucked her into the mattress. Or perhaps his fist balled up in her hair while he made her gag on his cock. 

Although she didn’t want to stop, she took a moment to slip her undies off, tossing them away. Positioning the phone, Koge used her free hand to spread her glistening pussy open, showing him just how wet she was. 

Me 3:40 AM: I want your dick inside me, Katsuki. I want you to fuck me like the little horny bitch I am. 

Cutesuki 3:41 AM: good girl. 

Me 3:41 AM: I want to hear you. Can you call me?

The instant the phone began to ring, and his adorably innocent picture appeared on screen, Koge answered it, holding the phone up to her ear as she continued to rub delicious circles on her clit. “Katsuki…” She couldn’t restrain a soft moan, slipping two of her fingers into her cunt at the ragged sound of his breathing. “I wish you were here with me.” 

“You just can’t stand being without my cock, huh, little whore?” Bakugou’s voice was deep and quiet, making Koge sink further down to lay and dig her fingers in deeper. She could almost feel his body on top of her, pressing her down into the mattress as he hissed in her ear, his thick fingers teasing her pussy in punishment. “You’re such a nasty fuck, always begging for me to fuck you.” 

Koge was sure to let her voice flow freely, not restricting and moans or gasps of pleasure. “I love it so much, Katsuki. I love your big dick inside me! I want to cum all over it-” She paused just to hear the soft and frustrated grunts he made, even able to hear his hand working over his cock in a quick and steady rhythm. “Yes, Katsuki. You’re close, aren’t you, baby?” Much to her surprise, Koge found that even she was getting close to cumming quickly with just her fingers, which was a feat in of itself. After years of being with Bakugou, of growing so used to the way he fucked her, she found that something so tame as fingering herself couldn’t usually get the job done. A toy or two usually had to be used to get her off, but tonight, all she needed was the sound of his voice and a vivid imagination. 

“Yeah, I’m fuckin’ close. Damn it, Utsuro, your voice is fucking hot. And those shitty piercings… fuck!” 

“Mm, that’s right,” Koge’s voice hitched, moving her fingers back to her clit to work herself over the edge. “That’s it, Katsuki! Cum for me-” She was cut off again by her own moan, leaning her head back into her pillow as her hips arched up into her fingers. Straining against the sore burning in her forearm, she forced her hand to continue rubbing, listening closely to Bakugou’s own groans and curses of pleasure. She could tell the exact moment that he came, his voice growing into a deeper growl and trembling with relieved sighs. He couldn’t hold it for very long, and just the thought that he had been wanting her so badly immediately pushed Koge over the edge as well. 

Entire body quivering and twitching with the force of her orgasm, Koge clutched her thighs together, slowly and lightly letting her fingers slide across her pulsing sex to ride out the orgasm. In truth, she wasn’t sure how loud she had been or what she might have said when she came. All she had done was listen to Bakugou as he finished, imagining that tight grip on her hips and his hot release inside her. She could feel those rough and calloused hands slide up her sides, caressing her body so close and lovingly after ravaging her completely. 

Relaxing her body back against the bed, Koge rolled over onto her side, nuzzling her face against her pillow and taking in the scent of his cologne. On the other end, she could hear him still panting to catch his breath, though a sharp chuckle cut him off. 

“You sniffing some dirty boxers, Utsuro?” 

“What?! No! I’ve never been that desperate.” Koge couldn’t resist her own soft giggle, smiling against the pillowcase. “I told you, I put some of your cologne on my pillow.” 

“Stalker.” 

Before she could respond, Koge got a message alert, pulling her phone away from her ear. Putting him on speaker, she opened the message, feeling her entire body flush hot again at the sight of him. Hand still around his dick, his lower stomach, sweatpants and fingers had dribbles of his cum, gleaming against the well-lit room. With a groan, Koge rubbed her thighs together again. “Man, I wanna lick it off!” 

“Where’s mine?” 

Sitting up again, Koge got into another pose, making sure her chest was exposed along with her puffy and wet pussy that was still tender with the need for more attention. Lips also in the frame, she puckered them in a sweet kiss, her fingers in a cute peace sign to go with it. After sending it, she pulled the shirt down and got comfortable again, smiling as she heard him give a short chortle. 

“Cute.” 

“You’re cute.” 

“That’s my new phone background.” 

“No! Someone will see it!” 

“No one ever sees my phone, stupid. I’m not an idiot like you who leaves it out where everyone can see the screen. Besides, they’ll catch a glimpse of the most beautiful woman they’ll ever see. That’s a privilege.” 

Cheeks flushing, Koge cuddled her blankets to her tightly, nuzzling herself into her pillow. “That’s not true… I’m not the most beautiful.” 

“You are to me.” 

“You’re too sweet. Turning me into mush over here when I can’t kiss you. Usually I’m the one doing the sweet talking.” 

“I miss you. This last week can’t go by fast enough. All this shit is great for my brand, but damn, I’m worn out. All this social interaction is fucked.” 

“Is that why you’re in your hotel room today? Isn’t it like two in the afternoon?” 

“I didn’t have a panel today to go to, but Kirishima and Deku did. I could have gone out, but I decided to stay in and relax. I’m kinda glad you weren’t able to sleep.” 

Reaching over, Koge turned off the bedside table lamp, placing the phone down on his pillow as she snuggled up nice and tight into her blankets. “Aw, I had good luck then today. I’m really glad. Tell me about it! How’s it been?” 

Koge wasn’t sure how long they talked, with him chatting on and on about what was happening, who he had met, and what benefits the convention had towards his hero branding. They laughed and got annoyed together. Bashed on this person or praised this company. Reminisced about what they missed of each other and what they wanted to do when he returned. But, at one point, Koge drifted off to sleep to the sound of his voice and his scent on her pillow. 

When she awoke to the sound of her alarm going off, Koge yawned and gave a heavy stretch, snatching her phone off the bed beside her, since it had at some point fallen off his pillow. Turning off the alarm, she looked at the time, immediately feeling guilt weigh heavily on her chest. “Oh no, I fell asleep talking to him… My poor Katsuki.” 

Rolling over onto her back, she went into her text messages to send him a good morning and apologize, but what she saw there instead made her stop. Bakugou had cleaned up and changed into some new lounge clothes, getting kind of an awkward selfie of him with the city view behind him as he stood on the balcony of his hotel room. It was a cute and innocent exchange compared to the debauchery that had occurred just a few hours ago, and it brought a fluttering to Koge’s stomach.  

Cutesuki 5:11 AM: i could tell you fell asleep from your snoring. its cute.

Cutesuki 5:11 AM: glad i could make your stubborn ass fall asleep. 

Cutesuki 5:11 AM: love you. call me around 10. the two idiots will be gone for a while tonight. maybe we can have round 2. 

Cutesuki 5:11 AM: xo

Smiling, Koge opened her camera and took a picture of her own, sleepy faced and smiling, still bundled up in her blankets. Attaching it to her message, she put the phone down once she responded, giving another stretch and a rub of her eyes. 

Me 8:02 AM: I love you too, my Katsuki. I’m sorry I crashed. (╥﹏╥)

Cutesuki 8:03 AM: new bg picture. 

Me 8:03 AM: What?? (・・;)ゞ Just pick one! (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ Cutesuki 8:04 AM: youre beautiful in all of them, dumbass, i cant pick. 

Cutesuki 8:04 AM: cant text right now. call me around 10. love you.

Me 8:04 AM: I love you more! (♡‿♡) Cutesuki 8:05 AM: youll never. xo 

Me 8:05 AM: (´ ε ` )♡

[peanutpinet]

Nine Percent Scenarios for @ninepercent._.forever on IG

Cause she chose majority soft pics, so here is a soft group pic of the boys uwu <3

Cai Xukun

Can I just say one more time, silver hair Kunkun is *chefs kiss*

Alright, for this, I’d imagine that Kun was attending your graduation (high school or university, whichever you’d like) and when it was finally your turn to go up and take your paper/medal/diploma, etc; Kun would instantly smile, pointing at you/wave at you when you turn around to face the audience. I would also feel that Kun would brag about you to the people around him (if it’s your parents then he’ll be like ‘she’s so amazing’).

“That’s my girl!! Yeap!! That stunning, breath-taking, kind-hearted, smart girl is mine. You go sweetheart!!”

Chen Linong

OMO LOOK HOW SOFT NONGNONG IS WITH THAT CAT!! I DIE

Alright!! For this one, I feel that you guys are roommates and were heading back when you guys noticed this cat that doesn’t look alright. Nongnong (being the animal lover he is) would go over to the cat and pet it. When Nongnong said that the cat seems to be sick, he would suggest to bring it to the vet; which you agreed, without question.

After getting checked, the vet gave Nongnong a prescription and Nongnong just held the cat in his arms, soothing it and telling it that it’ll be alright. Upon the sight, you just can’t help but die of cuteness and just had to take a picture of him.

“Don’t worry lil guy, I got you. You’re going to be just fine!!” *insert is uwu smile*

Fan Chengcheng

Alright, alright, for this pic of Chengcheng, I feel that he was bored at home and was like “Hey!! (Y/N)!! Let’s go out!! I’m bored” and since you were also just being a couch potato (mind you, a hot couch potato), you were like “ehhh, I don’t see why not”. Especially when Chengcheng is the one picking you up and dropping you back.

So, the two of you went out the whole day. Had brunch together then went to the mall to do some window shopping/actual shopping, whichever one you are. Afterwards, you guys just decided to walk along the streets for a bit before going back home. Along the way, it started to snow and you were mesmerised by it and didn’t noticed that Chengcheng was staring until you turned around to see him (cue the pic).

“Isn’t it pretty Cheng?”

“Sure is” (looks at you)

Justin Huang Minghao

I SWEAR!! JUSTIN CAN LOOK 20+ IN ONE MINUTE AND 16 IN THE NEXT. LIKE HOW?!

Anyways, I imagine that you guys were just hanging out since it was finally winter break. So, Justin decided to celebrate your winter break by inviting you to join him for a little outing. Like, he’s so full of energy, he wants to go out and just move!! So, the two of you were now walking along the park when you started to feel tired from all the walking and decided to take a break by just sitting down on a bench, looking at the beautiful scenery in front of you. When Justin decided to sit next to you and look at you and you were a bit taken aback when he gave you that face (the picture).

“Wh-what are you looking at?”

“You. I never noticed how much your eyes are glowing. It’s pretty. And not to mention your smile. It’s just contagious. I hope that you would smile often from now on”

Lin Yanjun

Alright, I have no idea why she chose this pic of Yanjun. Clearly, you wanted to kill me huh, Aliya? Anyways, we’ll see what scenario I got

For this specific pic, since my dear friend wanted the boys to either be your guy friend/boyfriend, this is what I came up with. You and Yanjun were childhood friends; with Yanjun being like 4-5 years older and was the heir to a company which you decided to apply for. Of course, you still had to go through interviews and everything; Yanjun believes that you can never take the easy way out. 

However, the difference between you and your co-workers is that Yanjun would always asks you about your job at the end of the day which he knows that you worked hard since he heard it from your supervisor. Working under Yanjun was tough but he would never give you work that he knows you can’t handle and every now and then he would definitely treat you by taking you to your favourite restaurants/cafes at the weekend.

You have been working so hard and slowly climbed your way and was now Yanjun’s secretary. However, there were definitely some workers that were jealous of that. They’d be like “how can she become his secretary?” “just look at her! She doesn’t even look that good” and many more. But, it never really bothered you since you knew that dealing with those people are just a waste of your time and childish.

Unfortunately, it didn’t last long. Sure, you tried your best to not care. But when those people started being physical, it was just too hard to handle. You were constantly dozing away and easily distracted that Yanjun himself became worried. He would asked you every now and then but you didn’t tell him, you didn’t want to bother him since he was basically “shouldering” your expenses.

But fear not!! One day, he finally caught the workers red-handed. You were just about to get lunch for both you and Yanjun when the elevator didn’t work and so, you took the stairs. However, those jealous workers caught you, some of them purposely bumped into you, making the food you brought fall onto yourself. But little did they know that Yanjun was passing by since he forgot to handover a document to his management team. At first, Yanjun was already ready to come in and fight. But when he saw that it was you, he didn’t hesitate one bit. He shouted at the workers, scaring them and you.

To say that the workers were scared was an understatement. Nope, they were petrified at this point. Yanjun was walking down the stairs, hands in his pockets and his gaze, colder than ever. He went to your side, asking you if you were alright but all you could do was let out a little hiccup. Noticing your state, Yanjun pulled you into a hug, looking back at the workers and told them that he’ll deal with them later and he hope that they have cleaned their belongings from the office.

“OI!! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!”

“Sshhh, are you alright? Is this why you’ve been dozing off lately?”

“J-jun...”

“ *sigh* I’ll deal with all of you later. Oh, and I hope that by the time I call you to my office, all of your belongings are packed”

“Is alright, I got you (Y/N). Please tell me the next time this happens”

“B-but...you just fired them?” 

“(Y/N)...you’re too sweet sometimes, you know that? I hope you know that things like this shouldn’t be taken lightly. I care about you, you know. Now c’mon, let’s get you cleaned up and I’ll order some food for us, your favourites, kay?”

HOW DO I WRITE SO LONG FOR HIM?! AND WITH THIS KIND OF SCENARIO!! AGGHHH CURSE MY WRITING

Zhu Zhengting

Mama Ting holding a big fluffy panda?! Welp, time to fly over to visit him (JK)

So, I feel that the two of you were hanging out all day, just a normal day of at your place, cooking, baking and watching TV shows/films all day when suddenly, the sun finally sets and it was night time. Since the both of you were too tired to cook, Zhengting suggested you guys have dinner at a nearby restaurant which of course, in the end, mama Ting paid for everything.

Whilst walking you back home, you both saw this place with a claw machine and you just so happen to see a huge panda in there. Determined to get it, you spent quite a pretty penny on it but failed to grabbed it. However, mama Ting decided to step in and get the doll for you. Which he finally did, after 7 tries.

“Th-the panda...Let me have the panda...please!!”

“Step aside (Y/N), I’ll get it for you!!”

“OMO!! TING!! YOU GOT IT!!”

“I GOT IT!!! Uhh, can I cuddle with it until we reached your home?”

“Is alright, since you got it, it should be yours”

“Eh?! Really?! I’M GOING TO GET TWO NEXT TIME!!”

Wang Ziyi

Can I say, Ziyi, multitasking to a new level man!!

So, for this pic, I thought that it’s been a while since you and Ziyi went out to grab a bite or catch up because he was very busy. However, since it was your birthday, he really didn’t want to cancel anymore plans. So, instead! He just cancelled meetings and all but he still brought a few work with him; works that he can easily finish in a short amount of time. Though he would apologise first-hand that he still had some unfinished business to take care of before you even got a chance to ask him.

“I’m really sorry that I had to bring some work with me today, (Y/N)”

“It’s fine Ziyi. I’m just happy that you even had the time to take me out”

“It’s your birthday. I wouldn’t miss it for anything else. Even though I’m technically somewhat working right now”

“I said it’s fine Ziyi. I’m happy that you’re here to spend the day with me”

“Aishh, you’re too nice (Y/N). Eh, eat up, the food will get cold! I just need to sign a few of these then I’m all yours for the day :)”

Xiao Gui

It’s been a while since I saw a soft Gui but hey!! I aint complaining!!

For Xiaogui, I feel that you finally graduated from university and was on your way back home. Well to be exact you were already back, it’s just that Xiaogui hasn’t had the time to see you. But!! He made it his mission that when he does see you, he would give you a surprise that you would never thought of.

He texted you saying that he had some free time and would like to meet up at the park that you guys used to hang out back in school. But little did you know that when you walked by the park, you saw Xiaogui, sitting on the stairs with a bouquet in his hands, a smile slowly formed on his face the minute you came into his sight.

“Kai (Wang Linkai, yea), wh-what’s all this? Are we going somewhere? OOH!! Is it for a special someone?”

“They sure are. You!”

“That’s...wait?! Me?! Wh-what?!” *cue blushing mess*

“Of course!! Congratulations on finishing your degree!! I’m proud of you (Y/N). Sorry that I have been very busy but, I wanted to do something special since you always send me something special. So, dinner?”

“I’d love to!! Thank you Kai!!”

You Zhangjing

Zhangjing in a suit!! YIKES!!! I NEED TO BREATHE!! PHEW!! OKAY!! ONTO THE SCENARIO!!

So, this is another slightly hard scenario to think of. But, here goes nothing. So, I imagine that you guys decided to have a date night since it has been a while you guys had like an actual proper date night. HECK!! Zhangjing even went all out and booked your favourite restaurant and brought out his suit for crying out loud!! Anyways, the date night, as you’d expect, was lovely. Zhangjing made sure that you get whatever food/drink you’d like then of course, Zhangjing being the responsible gentleman he is, brought you home. However, on you way back, you guys saw this bush with roses on them. And you know what Zhangjing did?

“Hey (Y/N)!!”

“Hmm? What is it Zhangjing?”

“Roses are red, violets are blue. I may not be able to rhyme but there is nothing prettier than you”

“OMG ZHANGJING!! STAWWPP!! Or more like, stop asking Yanjun for pick up lines for crying out loud!!”

[rainey-staerie-daize]

So far, this’s been a weird bad week.

On Sunday, I awoke to cinnamon rolls, strawberries, and bagels, which is unusual in our household. We usually have cereal, but I was fine with this change. I love cinnamon rolls. I thought this was gonna be the only oddity of that day, but I was wrong.

Skye said she was gonna stay home during the littles’ visit, so I got hopeful that I could have a heart-to-heart with Mom about the previous week in the car, but she ended up coming with because I was and she didn’t want to be home alone. And then, Kare was with us too, because she didn’t want to go, so we had her with us for two hours. But, oh! Not two hours, but one, because without Kare, Xan only wanted to spend one hour with their dad.

So, instead of maybe stopping at the store or something, and counting off all the reasons I’ve been upset with my mother, we took a drive for an hour with my sisters. For the first time ever, I turned the other way in the car, hoping Mom got the hint that something was up. After a while of silence, she asked Kare how she was doing, as she usually does when it’s been silent for a while, and then asked me the same thing a minute later. I gave a noncommittal hum, not wanting to talk in that moment with almost everyone in the car.

Before picking up Xan, she went through the Starbucks drive-through to get us each something, so I turned the right way to be able to drink my matcha pineapple drink, but I was still not very happy. Refreshers and fraps can’t fix the hole in my heart where love should go.

After getting Xan, we went to Ross for a new outfit or two each because it’s getting hot out here and Mom has stimulus money right now. I usually love shopping, but considering that I was already upset, Mom previously promised an individual “date” day with each of us for this, I didn’t have my glasses or phone that day, and I like to take my time, I wasn’t having a good time. I found cute items that were too small for me, and couldn’t take pics because I didn’t bring my phone, and I was the last one of the family to be perusing the racks. I HATE to be the one everyone’s waiting on.

And then to top it all off, Mom complained in the car that she “spent way too much money.” I already have a nagging guilt in my subconscious soul whenever I’ve been done shopping the last few times, even when spending my own money. I really didn’t need to hear that I’m actually being a burden on someone, either time-wise or financially.

Holy shit, I need to take a minute.

Anyway, we came home, and everyone went straight to trying everything on. Which makes me anxious, because we just got these clothes, and Mom usually wipes things down or washes them before we use them. Wondered for a few if I was being paranoid, before concluding that I’m not and Mom’s just slipping at this game.

Then Mom started talking about chores we need to get done, and that the garage is getting cleaned out today. Now, she’s said this a lot, so I never know when she’s actually gonna get serious, but apparently, she actually meant it.

I like to clean by myself, preferably when everyone’s asleep or gone, because I know damn well I take to long, and I don’t want the ridicule. Big problem with that is the fact that the anxiety from the possible judgement keeps me from actually starting, so I end up never starting and it never gets done. And Mom was is sick of my shit. Many of the boxes and bags of laundry in the garage are mine.

So, as I was sitting in the kitchen trying to enjoy the ice cream Mom said we could all have, I was trying not to panic when Skye was going through the garage for stuff to bring in and go through. Mom mentioned that she was gonna “force inspiration to clean” onto me, and I told her that’s not how that works.”

Luckily, she found a couple bags of toys to go through first, and I sat and watched, trying to relax so I’d stop feeling sick to my stomach. I’m trying not to feel sick as I type this all, but I gotta let my feelings out somewhere.

Eventually, she brought in a bag of my stuff. I looked at a couple items, and determined it was a bag I’d already gone through a few months ago. It was only in the garage again because I hadn’t washed and put it away yet. So far, so good. Another bag, and I was able to throw some things away without any second guessing. Eventually, I didn’t feel so sick anymore, and was in productive mode.

At some point, Skye asked if she should bring in something that wasn’t clothes, and I explained quietly that I’ve had enough mentally. “Please don’t make me switch tasks right now.” I’m so glad, that at age 20, I know I’m autistic, read up on it a ton, and now have the tools I need to communicate what’s going on in my head.

Skye understood, and brought in more clothes. I’m also so glad to have her as a sister. Mom would’ve seen it as making excuses, which is why I tried not to be loud enough for her to hear. I was in a zone, doing what she wanted (and I needed) for once, and I didn’t need her to break it by yelling.

I set aside the things that weren’t mine to go through, and I got it done. Since I still had quite a lot, I decided to go through everything more selectively at another time, on my own time. We’ll see how that goes.

Had dinner, and I didn’t feel like eating as much as I usually do, and said this to Mom. Told her about how the day went nothing like how I’d planned, and she seemed to finally recognise some depression in me, and offered to have that talk I wanted that night or the next day. After dinner, I chilled for a while with the Gravity Falls tag (pretty sure y’all’ve noticed) in the bathroom, because it’s the one private room of the house and I wanted to be alone, and when I came out, everyone was sleeping and Mom was cleaning. She was spraying everything with Febreze, and then vacuumed after a few, and told me to check my slippers to see if they’re dirty before walking on the carpets. I find this a bit absurd, seeing as how Mom is the one who gets the floors dirty with her shoes (FR, she’s the only one of us that leaves visible shoe prints inside), and I wear slippers specifically so I don’t have to keep washing my feet all the damn time. But not wanting an argument, I complied, and took off my slippers to sit at the desk with the laptop.

The plan was to finally catch up on my school work, but after Mom got on me about the dog being neglected, I simply didn’t have the spoons, and looked up pics of Ford’s futuristic gun. Eventually started reading Gravity Falls: Lost Legends on the purple game phone. Not very productive, I know, but I knew I didn’t have actual class the next day, and I’m normally very responsible with the dog. I’ve only been neglecting her as a bit of a social experiment to see if anybody would notice that the one person who cares for her hasn’t been. Don’t worry, I gave her food and water after a while, but I left the red blanket covered in Kare’s piss over the crate, because if Mom thinks she knows best and wants to put a dirty-ass blanket over the crate, who am I to remove it?

Fucking bitch.

Anyway, after she went to sleep, the living room felt like the Twilight Zone. It had the vibe of being freshly steam-cleaned, despite not being cleaned at all, I felt like I couldn’t lay down anywhere because dirty laundry had touched my leg earlier and I didn’t feel like showering yet, and everyone was asleep but me. Two or three lights were on but I shut them off to help calm my mind a bit. Worked a bit, and I continued reading until the next morning. I heard Mom’s alarm for Xan’s school day start going off, and not wanting to interact with her, I laid down to sleep, letting fate decide if she gets up on time or not. Skye says she didn’t, and Xan ended up not going to school. Oh well. Not my problem.

Oy, she would think I’m such a selfish bitch if she read that, but I honestly don’t care. I half hope she stumbles across this blog just so she finally knows what I’m thinking all the damn time. Stars know that we never did have that talk. In fact, when I made a comment before she went to sleep on Sunday that I’m aweful at this whole “being a human thing,” she accused me of just trying to get sympathy, and “stop the whole ‘woe is me’ bullshit.”

Oy, so I’m amazing, I guess? What do you want me to say? Nothing?? I mean, I guess that’s correct. I would finally stop bugging her with my too-loud voice. I try to moderate my volume, I really do, but sometimes I forget, or I’m being louder than I think I am.

Yesterday, I slept a lot of the day, woke up to take an exam, and came out of my room to find all but one piece of the pineapple Mom got gone. Not only did everyone save me only a single cube, it was so sweet and good, and I’m not sure I did so well on my exam. Mom said the littles’ scarfed it all down in minutes, and that it wasn’t even that good because the enzymes burned their tongues, but I don’t feel bad for them. They wouldn’t have gotten burned so bad if they had saved some for Skye and I. She was still sleeping at the time. I also spotted the only pineapple juice in Kare’s Starbucks cup from the day before, but when I took a sip (because she often wastes food, she won’t miss it), I discovered it was watered down. Ugh.

That night, last night, as I stayed up late reading fan-made Gravity Falls comics, I tried to stay as silent as possible. My laughter is often loud, and I was finally having a good time. I didn’t need Mom waking up to scold me with the whole “I work graveyard, and I just got vaccinated! Why can’t I ever sleep?!”

I think I did a pretty great job of staying quiet for once, but at some point, she called my name, which startled me a bit. I went to her room to see what was up, but after I called back and got no response, I determined that she just called my name in her sleep. Whew.

And now, I’m sitting at the kitchen table, typing away, still being silent. I’ll have a good time with Skye when Mom’s not around. Mom doesn’t deserve to hear my laughter anymore if she doesn’t want it so bad. She was watching late-night comedy when I was typing the first part of this post, but at some point, she got up, and I quickly-but-casually switched tabs to the music I was listening to to read the comments until she left from behind me again. I do want to talk about all of this with her eventually, but I really don’t tonight, and she sometimes reads over my shoulder if it’s easy for her to do so.

I hope she’s getting ready for work right now, and she won’t be able to get an Early Out. I’d love for the anxiety of her randomly crashing my vibes to be gone. Maybe (but probably not) I’ll clean, maybe I’ll read some more in the dark. Don’t know yet.

[asphalt-cocktail]

Sour- Chapter 1

Chapter 1: You’re a Right Bitch

Summary: Signing onto EMI records in the mid 80′s should have been a dream come true for Reader and her punk band, but she finds herself bubbling over with rage every time she interacts with the drummer from the successful rock band that records down the hall.

A/N: Hey lil cuties, I hope you enjoyed the teaser, it got a lot of good recognition which I’m happy about. Maybe i’ll actually do a tag list if anyone is interested (P.S. send ask if you are) and depending on how many people ask I’ll make but ONLY for this fic. If any of you have ideas for a name for reader’s band let me know because I’m writing the next chapter right now and I can’t think of what to call it, I was thinking maybe Sex Kitten, but let me know you’re opinion is always appreciated! This can be read as Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor and your feedback, likes, and reblogs are always greatly appreciated. 

Pairing: 80s!Roger Taylor x F!Reader

Warnings: Smut, hate fucking, degrading, alcohol, cigarettes, dom!Roger, swearing, fighting, unprotected sex, no foreplay, throwing up (from intoxication), age difference(maybe like 10 years, reader is probably mid- late 20s and Roger is close to 40), rog being kind of a c*nt, but reader also is, not proof read, grammar.

Word Count: 5.8k whoops

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18+ if you are a minor do NOT interact with this post. This is fictitious content and I own nothing.

<<<< Teaser

Signing onto EMI should have seemed like a dream come true, but it wasn’t. Not because you and your band had issues with the contract or the long hours spent in the recording studio, no, it was because of a certain drummer of a certain internationally known rock band that had been the absolute bane of your existence. You honestly had no idea how the two of you had gotten off on the wrong foot, maybe it was how loud your hot-headed drummer, Benny got when he was pissed off, or how Haz liked to play his guitar outside of the sound dampened recording studio or how your singer Joe sand loudly in the halls as the four of you left to go home, or maybe it was the fact that you told him you expected him to be much shorter from slouching behind his set. Come to think of it, it probably was the latter of the complaints you’ve gotten from the neighboring band.

The first time you met Roger Taylor was also your first day in the recording studio as an officially signed and contracted band. The group of you were leaving well past midnight, alcohol and cigarettes seemed to be the only way you four could make it through recording this late. As the group of you stumbled through the hallway, your laughter accompanied by Joe’s bass heavy vocals echoed loudly through the halls. Your troupe had just barely made your way to the first door before a head of messy blond hair and furrowed brows poked his head out from the neighboring recording room, “Would you shut your bloody traps, some of us are trying to record.” He snapped before loudly slamming the door behind him.

You and your bandmates froze, unsure of what to do or say. It wasn’t until Haz spoke up and shoved Joe “Yeah shut up, Joe.” He mocked while laughing. You couldn’t help but think of how familiar his face looked.

Just the thought of Roger Taylor was enough to make your mood sour for at least the next three hours. You frowned pushing the heavy doors to the outside open, inhaling the cool winter air. You needed to get out of that damn recording studio, it got so stuffy after having four people in there breathing the same air for hours at a time. You brought a cigarette to your lips and lit it, leaning against the brick building with your hands in your jacket pocket, the door next to you opened revealing your nemesis, Roger Taylor, much to your dismay. “Fuck now my cigarette is ruined.” You said blowing smoke out towards the air.

Roger rolled his eyes, “Piss off.” He retorted before walking past you and to his car to grab a few sets of spare sticks.

“Aw, not out here to join me for a smoke?” you joked.

Roger frowned and his face twisted into one of disgust “I’d rather eat a fist full of glass.” He spat at you bitterly.

You hummed taking a drag from your cigarette and blew the smoke directly in his face as he walked past you “Shame, we really could have bonded.”

Roger waved the smoke away from his face “Don’t you have to be a bitch somewhere else?”

Your face twisted as you stubbed your cigarette out with your boot “Don’t you have to bang on some pots and pans?” you retorted.

Roger rolled his eyes and pushed past you, throwing the door open and stomping down the hall. You waited a beat for him to make his way to Queen’s recording room before you followed suit. Seeing Roger Taylor in person was enough to sour your mood for a few days. You and your bad attitude made your way back to the studio, you loudly shut the door behind you which caught the attention of your bandmates. “What’s got you in a pissy mood?” Haz asked.

Benny smirked knowingly “You ran into roger while out on your smoke break, didn’t you?”  

You huffed “I swear to god I’m going to fight his arrogant ass one of these days.” You said while pacing, too worked up to sit down.

Joe walked out of the booth “Well if you’re done brooding, get in and record your bass line for the song. We’ve been wasting time waiting for you to get back in.” He sounded almost as frustrated as you were.

You nodded, picking up your bass and walking into the booth, you put the headphones on and allowed for the music your bandmates had recorded previously to fill your eardrums as you added your bass line onto their unapologetically loud post-punk beats.

The music stopped and you looked up from your bass, “You sound like shit.” Benny said, “Not like good shit, but like actual shit.” He added.

Your jaw dropped, “Excuse me?” you sounded shocked, “What?” You really couldn’t wrap your head around what Benny had just told you.

Joe nodded his head and gave you a sympathetic smile along with a thumbs down, “You should make it… make it more slappy I guess?”

You scoffed “Slappy? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Benny clicked on the speaking button again “It means, make it sound slappy. Like this,” He said singing a bass like.

You nodded your head “Got it.” You said and waved your hand signaling them to roll the tape. You chewed on your lip and listened for a minute to think of something to play before you let your fingers fly down your frets and strings. When you finished you looked back up to the window “Slappy enough for you?”

“Fucking brilliant, per usual.” Haz complemented into the mic.

Movement in the background caught your attention though, you walked closer to the window and squinted your eyes trying to see into the poorly lit sound booth to the door. Where some tall figures stood “What’s going on back there?” You asked.

Haz shifted nervously in his seat “Don’t worry about it, we have other songs to do.” You could see him swallow thickly behind the glass that separated the two of you.

You were suspicious but he was right, “Fine, roll the bloody tape.” You were frustrated, frustrated with your shit takes, frustrated with Roger, frustrated with the fact you didn’t know what was going on from the outside of this stupid little box. Through the middle of your little recording session you saw your bandmates recongregate in front of the soundboard. They whispered and talked amongst themselves while the producer sat next to them obviously eavesdropping, you abruptly stopped “Are you going to tell me who was at the door? Or should I just keep playing and not having you pay attention.” You said bitterly.

Benny rolled his eyes and paused the recording, “If you really need to know, Freddie Mercury invited us to a gathering at his house later this evening.” He said waving an envelope in front of the window.

“You’ve got to be joking.” You said, letting go of your bass and allowing it to drop and hand loosely from the strap around your shoulder.

“Honest,” He said raising his hands defensively.

You took your headphones off and switched off the mic before screaming “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” From behind the soundproof booth, that did it. You rage had finally bubbled over, you shoved over the table holding your water, extra pics, and notes before breathing deeply and regathering yourself. “Let’s roll the fucking tape so we can get ready, yeah?” You said, as your bandmates looked at you with shocked expressions behind the glass. “You lot catching flies, or are we going to fucking record, let’s go.”

As you recorded your bandmates sat in an uncomfortable silence before one of them finally spoke “I’ve never seen [Y/N] that mad at anything in my life.” Haz started, leaning back in his chair.

Joe nodded his head, still listening intently but joining in on the conversation, “Yeah, but I bet it’s because she hasn’t gotten a proper lay in ages.”

Benny cracked open his beer and took a big gulp before grunting in agreement “You think she fancies Taylor?” he questioned.

“Yeah, but she can’t deal with her feelings, you know that. She’ll destroy this whole damn studio before she admits that.” Haz pointed out.

Benny nodded his head “Right, well I guarantee she is going to be piss drunk tonight, so I’ll keep an eye on her.”

---

After your litter outburst in the studio the boys decided to call it a day after your last take to allow for you all to go home and get ready for Freddie’s party, Ben would be making arounds later to pick everyone up but that wouldn’t be an issue considering he was also your roommate. You rifled through your closet, struggling to figure out what to wear. Your typical style didn’t seem grand enough for a Freddie Mercury party, but you made do with what you had and opted for comfort instead of sex appeal.

“Try not to fight anyone tonight.” Benny said as the two of you got into his small car.

You obviously knew what he was referencing but preferred to ignore it “I won’t, it’ll be fine, I’ve never been in a better mood.” You said and flashed him a fake cheesy smile.

Benny rolled his eyes knowing he would have his hands full tonight.

The drive to Freddie’s lavish home was surprisingly short, which you were grateful for seeing as sitting in the car was making you stir crazy. A pit of butterflies had formed in your stomach, but you had no idea why you had this sudden onset of nerves. You got along wonderfully with all of the other members of the famous rock and roll band and often times would ring up John Deacon for advice on your playing. You didn’t mind his bluntly honest critiques or his back handed complements that would make any other person run and cry. You were not any other person in the sense that you and John were very similar in that sense. Being the bassists in your respective bands meant you had to stand up for yourself otherwise you would get pushed to the background and often forgotten about by fans. It was your mutual understanding for the struggles of being bassists and strong drinkers that caused your professional friendship to form.

The group of you made your way to Freddie’s front door and were let in by nicely dressed doormen, and the scene before you was unlike anything you could have imagined. You knew his parties were the stuff of legends, but a party of this stature could rival even the great Jay Gatsby. You quickly lit a cigarette and took a glass of expensive white wine from one of the waitstaffs’ trays, promptly downing the small glass and handing it back to them, “Shall we?” You asked nodding your head into the large crowd of people before you.

Before you knew it, your bandmates had been swallowed by the crowd, causing you to lose sight of them and anyone else you may have recognized as a matter of fact. You meandered through the crowd towards the bar where you saw a familiar head of iconic curly hair, “Brian!” You said, greeting him with a friendly embrace which he returned. “It’s so nice to see you outside of the recording studio.” You jokingly said.

He laughed and nodded his head, “Yeah same to you.” He took a sip from his drink, “I heard you and Roger got into another little spat.” He could see the remanence of frustration behind your cheerful expression.

Your smile quickly dropped and was replaced by rolling eyes and deep sigh, “Did he tell you that?” You asked, you could feel your frustration boiling over.

“You know he’s sensitive about his drumming.” Brian chimed in with a smirk, oh did he love stirring the pot between the two of you.

“Well I’m sensitive about being called a bitch.” You said quickly swallowing the mixed drink your ordered, hoping the alcohol would ease your frustration.

Brian’s lips quirked into a sympathetic smile, “I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”  That was a lie and both of you knew it.

You nodded, already nursing your next drink, these bartenders really did work at inhuman speeds “Right,” You said not believing his lie, “Where’s Fred and John?” You quipped.

“What, not curious about where the fourth member is?” Brian pressed, your silence caused him to put his hands up defensively “Only taking the piss.” He said, still smiling “Freddie is out back, and John is God knows where.”

You nodded your head before ordering another drink, back up if you will, and bidding Brian farewell before you pushed your way through the crowd to greet the host. Freddie was having a good time, per usual. You waved hello to him from the crowd of people, he yelled something you couldn’t hear over the music and reached for your hand pulling you into a warm friendly hug which you awkwardly returned given your hands were full. You handed Freddie your empty drink glass “What should I do with this?” You asked, he responded by taking the glass from your hand and throwing it out into the crowd of people, causing you to laugh while nursing your next drink.

You and Freddie laughed in your mutual drunken states “You know, darling, when Roger came back into the studio and mentioned how you said something about him banging on pots and pans I nearly died from laughter.” He said remembering the flushed and angry expression on his drummer’s face. “You know what I think?” He asked leaning into talk to you, you sipped your drink, looking up at Freddie wide eyed and pressing him to continue speaking “I think the two of you should fuck.”

You choked on your drink, coughing it all over the front of your shirt and wiping the dribble from your chin “What!” You asked in a shrill voice.

Freddie let out a bellowing laugh, “It would be brilliant, the two of you need a good fuck anyways.” He said trailing off at the end and taking a large sip from his highball glass.

“I can’t believe you would even suggest I sleep with that arrogant asshole.” You were honestly kind of offended that Freddie would group you with one of Roger’s lowly groupies.

“Hear me out, love.” He said, his stance wavering from the alcohol “Roger has had such a stick up his ass after quitting smoking and the divorce. I don’t think he’s gotten any decent pussy since we toured in the 80s and you? I don’t ever see you going home with any sort of eye candy.”

You rolled your eyes before you finished off your drink and set your glass on a table, “I don’t get any I’m the only female in a mostly male punk band, Fred.” You pointed out, using your now empty hands to light a cigarette, “I’m not even a lead, I just play bass.” You said blowing smoke out into the night sky.

“Oh rubbish, you’re a damn good bassist or John wouldn’t even give you the time of say.” What Freddie said was true. While John was harsh in his critiques, you knew it was only because he saw the raw talent you had.

You nodded your head only half listening to Freddie, your mind still caught up on trying to imagine how sex with Roger Taylor would be. A bitter frown crossed your lips, you would never fuck Roger Taylor, “I need a refill.” You huffed before promising Fred you would come back immediately after your drink. You pushed your way through the crowd, your arm raised as to not burn anyone with your lit cigarette. You tried desperately to find your bandmates, but alas due to the large crowd it was no use.

Either way, you needed another drink.

You quickly made you way to the bar back inside the house and ordered a shot of whiskey and chased it with a full beer before you ordered another mixed drink. The copious amounts of alcohol you had consumed were finally catching up to you, your face felt hot and flushed and your skin tingled delightfully. You hummed, sipping your drink and making your way to the bathroom to finally break the seal. After checking several of the first-floor bathrooms, only to find their handles locked you frowned in frustration and made your way up the stairs to the second level of Freddie’s mansion before you finally found an unlocked bathroom. You promptly went in and relieved yourself as you exited you ran into a surprisingly firm body, sloshing your drink and theirs on each other’s respective shirts “Who invited you here?” The voice sent a chill of frustration up your spine and to your alcohol flushed face.

You looked up, locking eyes with an equally intoxicated Roger Taylor, you huffed moving to push past him “Freddie did, the other members of your group actually seem to enjoy my company.” You said, once again moving to squeeze past him. Your efforts were to no avail, as he had firmly planted both hands on either side of the door, trapping you in the bathroom. “Get out of my way.” You said impatiently, crossing your arms over your chest.

“You’re always a right cunt you know that?” he said in a matter of fact tone.

You grit your teeth and clenched your drink harder “You’re the one that’s the cunt, maybe it’s all that groupie pussy that’s ruined your respect for women.”

Roger scoffed, here he was, nearly forty years old and throwing insults at some newbie punk rocker. “I don’t know if I’d call you a woman, maybe a failed guitarist sure, but a woman or lady not so much.” He said crossing his arms over his chest giving you a smug look.

“I think your sticks are too far up your ass, Taylor,” You spoke as you pushed past him. Before you had time to react you felt hands on your shoulders pushing you hard against with wall causing you drop the glass in your hands, allowing it to shatter on the ground and the breath to escape from your lungs, you groaned but didn’t know if it was from the pain of your back colliding with the wall behind you or from the adrenaline you felt rising in your veins and stomach.

Roger’s strong hands held you firmly against the wall and his calloused fingertips brushed against the skin on your collar causing a light shutter to run through your body “I have half a mind to shut you up right here.” He threatened, his usually bright blue eyes now clouding over with something much darker.

You didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the pressure of having his knee right between your legs, but you felt a sudden boldness “Do it,” You pressed, articulating your words and hoping to get a rise out of him.

With that, he pressed his lips against you with force, causing your teeth to clank together and your head to fall back, knocking against the wall. His roughness causing a sultry moan to slip from your lips, “You’re pathetic.” He hissed pulling your hair and tilting your head to expose your neck and leaving hot opened mouth kisses along your jawline to your neck where he harshly bit down causing you to shove him back.

Roger gripped tightly to your hips causing the two of you to stumble backwards from the force of your push “Take me to a bedroom and fuck me already.” You said impatiently. Freddie wouldn’t mind if the two of you had a quick romp in the sheets in one of his many bedrooms, after all he was the one that instigated the whole thing.

The two of you stumbled, a mess of tangled and drunken limbs as you fell back into the first open bedroom you could find. Roger flipped on the light switch, not breaking the kiss and revealing a large well decorated room with an equally large bed in the middle. He shut the door behind him with one arm and shoved you back onto the bed with the other. Your eyes caught your reflection in the side mirror, your hair was a mess accompanied by smeared make up and eyes clouded with lust.

You quickly slipped your boots off and lifted your hips to help Roger take your pants off. Quickly, he flipped you over and pushed you forward. You adjusted yourself, ass in the air and legs spread showing off your already wet pussy. Roger groaned looking at it and ran a finger through your slick folds “You truly are pathetic, you know that, [Y/N]? I’ve barely touched you and here you go making a mess all over Freddie’s sheets.” He inserted two fingers into you agonizingly slow and licked his lips feeling the tightness of you engulf him, “A shit bassist, shit song writer, shit musician, shit person…” He emphasized each of his words with the slow lazy thrusting of his fingers. You let out a choked sob, desperate for him to give you more, “What was that?” He asked smugly, “If you want to get fucked, you’re going to have to be louder for me.” He said before pulling his fingers out leaving you feeling empty.

You pushed back against hand, “No-” you said sharply. You spread your legs further and arched your back “Please,” you hated how he had complete control over the situation, but at the same time loved it.

“Please what?” He asked swiping the head of his cock between your damp folds, intently watching as your juices coated him.

“Fuck me.” You said softly, clenching the bedsheets.

He raised his hand and placed a sharp smack on your ass causing you to jolt “Ah, fuck. Just stick it in already Roger.” You hissed.

Without warning the blond lined up to your entrance and pushed in, not giving you time to adjust. He let out a choking groan, not expecting you to be as tight as you were, “Fucking Christ.” He hissed snapping his hips against yours with purpose.

You gripped the bedsheets and cried out, feeling him stretch your walls unapologetically. There was no foreplay and no care in how either of you handled each other, just wanton need mixed with the mutual resentment you had for each other.

Roger propped one of his legs up to angle deeper into you and leaned over, pushing the side of your face into the mattress as he relentlessly pounded into you, years upon years of frustration he couldn’t hold back. He fucked his failed marriage, arguments with the band, cigarette cravings, and the comments you made about how shitty you thought his drumming was into you as he drove you into the mattress. Your legs shook and eyes rolled into the back of your head from the pleasure you received from the new angle and you let out a string of garbled words neither of you could understand. “This whole party can probably hear how much of a slut you are.” He said slipping his thumb into your mouth to which you greedily sucked on, “I didn’t expect you to have such a tight pussy” He huffed and groaned feeling your walls flutter against him, “’Cos you seemed like such an easy lay.” He let out a breathless laugh, knowing how right he was.

Your arms had given out and were sprawled out in front of you and drool had started to dribble down your chin from Roger’s thumb pressing down on your tongue forcing your mouth open to hear your sinful cries, you knew your legs weren’t going to hold you up much longer and Roger knew that as well.

He quickly pulled out and flipped you over onto your back in a less than graceful manor before he hitched your legs over his hips and pushed himself back in, continuing his relentless pace. You reached your hand into his hair and tugged roughly on his while your other hand raked its nails down his back causing him to arch into your touch and his movement to faulter.

You were surprised to feel a hand slip between your legs and begin rubbing rough circles around your clit, guess chivalry wasn’t dead after all, you squirmed against his touch the stimulation almost becoming too much for you to handle. Your walls twitched, clamping down around Roger, earning a shuttering moan from him.

You were both close.

“R-Rog…” You let out a stuttering moan feeling your climax building in your gut.

“Come on, you can’t be that daft, use your words.” He huffed, gripping your chin to make you face him, “I want this whole party to know who’s fucked you by the time I’m done.” He said through gritted teeth.

You opened your eyes and your mouth hung ajar, breathing heavily as you made eye contact with the mess of a man before you. Roger’s shirt had ridden up, and his pants were half pulled down and accompanied by sweaty and matted hair, you hated how the look in his eyes caused your walls to clamp down hard on his cock, squeezing him as you reached your climax, yelling his name with a hoarse and cracked voice for the whole party downstairs to hear, and the face he made as clenched your thighs and hip and reached his own, releasing hot spurts of come into you. He hunched over you, letting out shaky breaths as he worked you through your orgasm. He hated you but wasn’t a monster.

Roger stopped and swallowed thickly while trying to catch his breath, you glanced over at the mirror seeing red scratched zig zagging on his back and sat in silence, wondering which one of you would cave first and break it. The drummer pulled out of you and tried to hide the whimper that escaped him at the feeling of your tight walls clenching around his sensitive cock but failed, before he tucked himself back into his pants, “Still think you’re a bitch.” He said tucking his shirt back into his pants and tightening his belt.

“You’re a shit lay.” You tried to insult as you got up, steps wavering and some of the evidence of your prior actions leaking down the inside of your thigh.

Roger bit his lip at the sight and watched you pull your pants up, “Right and the whole crowd downstairs couldn’t hear your pathetic voice five minutes ago.” He said before turning to leave, giving you a short wave “Ta,” he said and left, walking downstairs with no shame.

Your hips ached as you walked to the bathroom to clean yourself up, you hated how that was your first penetrative orgasm, and you hated the ache between your legs, and you hated the smug look on Roger’s face after he left because the both of you knew he was probably the best lay you’ve had. But you couldn’t find it in you to be angry, not while in your post orgasm haze. You walked down the steps, taking it easy, and made your way to the bar and ordered a mixed drink to quench your thirst, desperately hoping that the stares you received weren’t because these strangers knew you just had been fucked so hard you could still feel the muscles in your legs twitching or that you could still feel the remains of your and Roger’s essence leaking out of you even after you cleaned yourself off.

You ordered a shot and a beer, quickly down the shot and moved to drink the beer before it was taken from your hands. You turned to see Freddie nursing what used to be your beer with a knowing smirk on his face, “[Y/N],” He said in a sing song voice.

“I didn’t fuck Roger” You said defensively.

Freddie grinned and handed you back your beer which you promptly drank out of “I didn’t say that, but you just confirmed.” He nudged your side, “Was it good? You know I caught Roger walking down the steps and he flashed me this grin.” He paused to order a drink, “And you know what I said to myself? I said, oh no Roger only makes that face after he fucked a good cunt. Then what do you know” He shrugged in an animated fashion “I see none other than you, darling, walking down the stairs, stiff as a board.” Freddie was about to continue rambling before you cut him off.

“I hate him.” You said placing a cigarette between your lips and lighting it, inhaling deeply.

Freddie practically ignored your comment, “But it was good wasn’t it?” Your silence was all he needed to answer “See!” He pointed out.

As the night continued so did your consumption of alcohol, you felt your drink being taken out of your hands and a blurry figure and closed on eye to focus your vision. It was a very pissed off Benny, “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you since we got here.” He said, drinking your drink.

You whined and leaned onto Benny’s chest “Hey, I was drinking that.” Your words slurred together.

“You look like a mess.” He said wrapping an arm around you to help steady your poor balance, your make up was smeared, hair a mess, clothes wrinkled. But thankfully your drunken state covered for your earlier romp in the sheets. “We have to go home,” He said pulling you along, “Come on.”

Your steps wavered as you began walking out “Wait,” You said abruptly stopping, “I have to say bye to Fred.”

Benny rolled his eyes “You’ve been with Fred all night, I’m sure he’ll understand that we need to leave.” You let out a whiney protest, “It’s 4am, [Y/N]” he said as if pointing out the early hour in the morning was going to make you want to leave more.

You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest and firmly stood your ground, “Fine, for god’s sake Joe go find Freddie.” Benny said running a frustrated hand through his hair.

To you what seemed like hours but was truly minutes passed and Freddie was before you, and equally as drunk mess as you were, hanging off Jim’s shoulder. The two of you held each other in a drunken embrace and Freddie kissed your cheek goodbye before Benny pulled you off.

As Benny and Joe practically pushed you into the car you caught sight of a familiar blonde who was also about to leave, you rolled your window down “Hey!” You shouted, catching Taylor’s attention “You’re a bitch!” You shouted, to which he flipped you the finger and yelled ‘fuck off’ as you and your bandmates drove away.

After dropping off your two other bandmates at home Benny draped your arm across his back and held you at the waist, as you struggled to stand. “’M gonna puke.” You said feeling your stomach doing flips and a sudden cold chill crawl up your spine and settle where your ears and jaw connected. You moved to kneel on the soft grass on the side of your parking area and your hair fell around your face as you retched, trying to use your arms to hold yourself up, they were so tired and your elbows jerked, threatening to give out.

Benny pulled your hair back, seeing a large and deep mark of varying shades of red and purple on your neck, “What the fuck is this?” He asked poking the side of your neck when you finished puking and started to regain your breath. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand and mumbled some incoherent words, “What?” He asked again.

“I fucked Roger!” You said loudly, sitting back on the concrete.

“Ssshhh,” He said putting a hand over your mouth “You’re going to wake the whole bloody neighborhood.”

You swayed in your seated position and fell into Benny’s chest, “I fucked Roger,” You said in a loud whisper.

“Yeah, I got that much.” Benny said, hooking his arms under your shoulders and pulling you up with him, the two of you made the long arduous walk to up to your apartment building. Benny laid you in your bed and unlaced your boots, you let out a huff still frustrated with yourself, “Was it good at least?” your roommate asked while handing you a glass of water.

You sat up in your bed and gulped it down “Yes,” you said in a defeated voice “But it doesn’t change anything, I still can’t stand the bloody prick.”

Benny hummed “Right,” He said nodding his head and taking the glass from your hands, “We can talk more about this in a few hours, the birds are chirping.”

---

When you awoke a few hours later you groaned, clutching your head feeling the insistent pounding of a hangover rattling through you and an ache between your legs, “Shit,” You said out loud remembering your actions from the night before. You got out of bed seeing you were still in last night clothes and slipped into an oversized tee shirt and put on some sunglasses to help shield your eyes from the bright light of day before you shuffled out of your bedroom and into the bathroom to find something to curb your headache.

You grabbed the pill bottle of over the counter pain killer and made your way to the kitchen for a glass of water and were greeted by your bandmates all in your living room. You opened your mouth to issue an apology for being a drunken mess last night but before you could get words out Joe interrupted you “Don’t worry, Haz puked all over the nice tile near Freddie’s pool right before we left so you weren’t the worst off.” Haz hid his face bashfully and nodded at you feeling your pain.

You grabbed a glass of water and made yourself comfortable in your usual spot in the living room, not caring that you weren’t wearing pants. You were comfortable enough with your bandmates and paid half the rent here so you really should be able to do whatever you damn well pleased in the place you called home. Much to your dismay you were already thrown a heap of questions “So I heard you fucked Roger last night.” Joe said bluntly.

You paused bringing your glass of water to your mouth to drink and were thankful your sunglasses hid your expression, “Yeah we fucked. What of it?” You asked defensively.

Joe made a face and put his hands up, “I was only making conversation.” He muttered bringing up his cup of tea before drinking it.

You were not going to hear the end of it.

Chapter 2: We Can Hate Each Other in the Morning >>>

[antpernas]

12/28/20

Today was a VERYYY eventful day!

So, when I woke up around 6:00 AM, I browsed on my phone for a few minutes until I had the energy to get up. When I did, I noticed that some of our family friends from the night before had stayed over! I didn’t want to wake anyone up too early, so I went back into my room and killed time until about 7:00 AM. When the sun was up and I felt it was about appropriate, I started making everyone coffee and breakfast. Unfortunately, they were in a hurry and ended up leaving before getting the chance to eat, but I served my parents and my brother and we all ate good!

(Sidebar, one of the people who stayed the night was my friend’s grandma, and when she woke up she went straight to the bathroom. This would be pretty ordinary if not for the fact that she farted like 20 times in the minute it took her to walk from the couch to the bathroom. I just about died laughing.)

After that, I did the dishes while my mom was getting ready for work. When I finished that, I did my facecare, packed my bag, and got ready to head to my mom to help her with some deliveries. I also made sure I had a change of clothes since I had plans to play tennis with someone later.

At the pharmacy, I took some cute pics of my fit (the ones I posted earlier), and did some work on my laptop while I was waiting for her to get the medicines ready. Once she got them, I packed up and delivered the medicines. I’m a little annoyed with myself because I took them in the wrong order and ended up having to double back the way I came, but it worked out because I ended up going to a nursery to buy my friend some plants after I took the second medicine!

The nursery was adorable (as always) and, of course, had SO many plants! I called my friend to let her see what was around so I could get an idea of what she’d like. I probably spent about an hour or so picking out the plants and pots. While I was there, the guy I was hoping to play tennis with cancelled on our plans, but it worked out since now I wasn’t in any rush to get to the courts! After I bought the plants, I loaded them into my car (no easy task) and drove home. 

(Sidebar, having the plants in my car kind of made me wish there were a way to permanently adorn cars with plants! Seeing the light so brightly bounce off the leaves of the alocasia... Gorgeous.)

When I got home, I unloaded the plants I bought my friend and made a mental note to burn all the shit I had piled in my car. Once I was inside, I changed into the sporty clothes I grabbed earlier, just to take advantage of the fact that I was home. I also grabbed my MIDI cable that I had left, as well as my other bag, which had a cuter beach outfit in case I decided to go after. (I forgot a towel though, oops!)

Once I was ready, I headed out to West Palm to practice at the courts there. I figured I could 1) at the very least still get some practice in, since I want to get more into playing tennis, and 2) had better chances of finding some stranger to play with in downtown than in Loxahatchee. 

Practice itself was pretty cool! I learned that any skill I might have had with tennis has pretty much flown out the window and directly into a sewage drain. I spent just about the entire time I was there trying to perfect my serve, to little avail. It started raining at some point, which was annoying... However, I did manage to figure out how to consistently get the ball over the net and into the service box by the end of it! Just, not with much power. I also ended up rallying with this really sweet guy who was waiting for his dad. I felt bad, since I sucked, but I think it was fun!

Once I finished there, I went to downtown to get some coffee. I (surprisingly) payed for parking at a little meter (I downloaded the app and everything!), then walked about a block to Subculture, a place I haven’t been in FOREVER! They were doing some renovation, which was cool to see since the last time I’d visited was before I had left for Hawaii. I bought a cute little merch shirt and an iced chai.

Once I finished there, I went back to my car and downed my coffee. I decided to go to Palm Beach for a bit, just to walk on the sand. That went out the window after I dared myself to swim in the water no matter how cold it was. It was very cold. But worth it!

Once I finished there, I started on my way home. As I was getting off the exit from the highway, though, I noticed a car wash that I hadn’t ever noticed before; it’d always been there, I’d just never payed it any attention. I decided to go in and WOW what a great decision!

So first and foremost, the car wash itself was amazing. I’m not sure why it had never occurred to me to go to an ACTUAL car wash to get my car cleaned as opposed to using the cheapy shit one attached to the gas station somewhat close to my house. This thing FINALLY scrubbed all the dead bugs off my bumper, those things had been there since my trip to Atlanta! My car was sparkling!

The other thing that I absolutely ADORED was that they have these really strong vacuum stations free for use after you get your car washed! When I tell you I deep cleaned the SHIT out of my car. I threw away all the trash, vacuumed all the seats and carpets, and even finally got all the dirt out of my trunk from when I had taken my second set of plants home and they fell over while I was driving. That was like three months ago!!! They also had towels and spray bottles, which wasn’t a big deal, but it was nice to finally get the fingerprints off the inside of my windshield. All of that combined is making me consider getting a monthly membership there, just so I can make a habit of cleaning my car.

This is where it got super interesting. On the way home I checked my OnlyFans messages and saw that I had a new message from a guy who had offered to be my sugar daddy a few months ago. At this point, I have nothing to lose, so I messaged him back over iMessages and we started chatting. He turned out to be really cool and told me his terms/rules, and I’m not entirely opposed?? And then he sent me a selfie and he’s super attractive and not even that much older than me?? And he’s SUPER generous?? I’m not going to lie, I’m still going to need to get used to the idea of being a sugar baby; I feel inherently guilty in taking his money, or making him feel like the only reason I want to interact with him is his money, even if he offered, but fuck! It’s actually a REALLY great deal, and from the way he layed it out, this is going to be a more stable and fulfilling relationship than all of the courtships I’ve pursued in the last year COMBINED.

When I got home, we facetimed and hammered out the details, and made it “official,” or at least agreed to give it a try. I sent him a bunch of pics and videos, and a cute little introduction video, and he was really sweet and complimented me a bunch for each thing I sent. I’m really excited to see where it goes!

After all that, I had dinner, showered (finally getting all that seawater off me), did my facecare, and hopped into bed. I just finished setting my jewelry order appointment at a piercing shop (that I’m SUPER excited to go see) and getting a list of the jewelry I’m thinking to eventually get! After that, I checked my emails, and now I’m writing this. And that was my day!

OK, I’m gonna knock out now! Good night, I love you, be safe, and sweet dreams!

[abstractanalogue]

The Wormholes interview (1997)

In June 1997 I interviewed Dave Carroll (1970-2019) of The Wormholes for a a one-off mail-order zine I produced for the band (cover above). I thought I’d transcribe the interview and publish it here as it hasn’t been online before. At this time they had released Scorpio:The Album (1997) so I asked Dave about recording it with Stano, other recent recordings with Stan Erraught (these would later be included on Parijuana in 1999), playing with The Fall in London (March ‘95) and their experience of touring in the UK (’95-’97). 

Q: Tell me about recording Scorpio:The Album.

A: We originally met Stano in town and went to Graham’s house that night with Shane and Francis (of Chunkin’ Bronchii). We didn’t know Stano or even really know him when he was leaving that day. He said nothing and just sat there at a four track. It was him who suggested to get us into a studio. He was good to work with, we’d record anything and everything we wanted and he wouldn’t say a word about it. He had maybe three or four mixes for each song. All the music was recorded in one day. The whole Pulse thing was two days and then the day we spent in Graham’s house. I mean I’m sure people will listen to it and go, ‘Yeah, I can gather it was done in 3 days.’ (laughs). It’s just the way we were heading, we knew we didn’t want to do another Chicks. Whether people like it or not, it is our second album. When you pick it up it may look like a mini album because there’s only so many songs, but when you think of it, ‘Kontinental Kop’ is 18 minutes long, ‘Bee Mee’ is 10 and ‘Freak Franco’ is almost 11 and that’s just three songs. We were surprised when we actually played ‘Kontinental Kop’ on the Play Station, it was like, wow, there’s a track on our CD almost 20 minutes long, I thought we’d knocked all that shit on the head. But then even on Parijuana, if that tape didn’t run out, I don’t know how long ‘Drive Dead Slow’ would have been. We were going at it full ahead from this sort of build up and Mark Carolan had to tell us the tape ran out.

Q: What about working with Stan Erraught (ex The Stars of Heaven and The Sewing Room)? These recordings with Stan at Sun Studios, plus other recordings would be used for Parijuana in 1999.

A:  When we heard Stan wanted to work with us we were blown away, we couldn’t get over it. This guy had done so much, I mean he was releasing records in the 80s. It must have been a really weird and difficult time to release anything, but this guy was doing it then when we were all still in school dreaming about what it would be like to own a guitar, let alone put out a poxy single. Same with Stano, he could have fobbed us off like, ‘Oh these little shits they think their doing something different, making a bit of a noise’ (laughs), but he just thought the way we done out stuff was right up his street.  

It was strange going into the same studio and the same desk as well but with totally different vibes. I hadn’t even talked to Stan or Mark (Carolan), I’d just walked in off the street and we did ‘Turkish Prison Dance’. We were just buzzin, the DAT was there, used just the one mic, Stan played the saz, Mark played guitar, Graham played drums, Anto just stood there and shook the maracas and I played the bongos. Everyone was jammed into this one room and we just banged it out there and then. None of us even realised when we were doing it, it was only after we thought, you know we didn’t play anything really, we just picked up some stuff and rattled it alongside what was being played and it was the first time we’d ever done that. When we heard it back none of us could even talk to each other, we were so chuffed with it. 

After that Mark finished putting up the mics and left. So we’d go in, start recording, Stan would be getting levels say and then he’d run in with his guitar and jump in with us, it was brilliant. We’d definitely work with him again. Stan just totally changed our whole outlook on what it’s like to work in the studio. He was giving us records by Faust and Can. I mean, these are records he’d bought 15, 16 years earlier when he was only a nipper. He told us a story about when he bought The Faust Tapes, it was on sale for 49p. He brought that particular record home when he was about 15 years old and he was eating his dinner with his Mum and Dad playing The Faust Tapes and them wondering what the hell he was listening to, they couldn’t get their head around this record that was chopped to bits.

Q: How has your experience of touring the UK been? First 1995 tour dates above (there was at least one that is not listed, Bristol’s Loco on 30th April with TW).

A: The first UK tour with Trumans Water was amazing, we only had to turn up and play, there was no pressure on us and any time we played with Cornershop it was the same deal. Even if there wasn’t many people we didn’t get so downhearted seeing as weren't the headline band.

On the second UK tour we tried to say to Roadrunner, it’s like this, putting us on a headliner is madness, try and get us on with not even a big band, just a band that 50 or 60 people will turn up to see. There were offers there to play with The Supreme Dicks but Roadrunner wouldn’t front us the money, they said it was pointless bringing us to London for 2 or 3 shows, but then they funded the British tour where we played to no-one for two weeks, apart from the Cornershop gigs. Cornershop were saying it was a bad time of year to tour as students were on holidays. 

We went to Hull and played with Trumans and it was amazing, the audience were animals, just wrecking the place. We go there two months later and its dead, drive into town and it’s a ghost-town. I’m not making that as an excuse because even if the town was all hustle and bustle we still would have only got about 20 people cause no-one knew us. 

At least when we went back the second time, even to have three new songs to bring back to England, we had ‘Marshmallow’, we had ‘Riotman’ and ‘Hotel Cash’. To us that was like bringing gold in your pocket, these aren't off Chicks, these are just new songs. 

The second 1995 UK tour dates.

Q: Tell me more about playing with The Fall in London.

A: In March 1995 we played a beautiful little gig (The Forum) supporting Mr. Mark E. Smith and The Fall on his request or so we were led to believe and we were honoured. That was like the icing on the cake for us and when they came to Dublin (Mean Fiddler) in December they asked for us again. I mean what can we say. We were all too chicken to speak to him. We all had this idea that he was the most arrogant, most unbelievably difficult person to even get two words out of and that’s what scared us off.  We were like we wanted to say hello and I wanted to tell him I though This Nation is one of the best records I’ve heard from any British band. That’s the sort of stuff I wanted to say to the guy but when I approached him I think I mumbled, ‘How-a-yi’ in my worst Dublin accent and scurried up the stairs, hoping he wouldn’t say something sarcastic. When I caught up with Anto and Graham I was hanging out of them saying I’d just met Jesus Christ, like I’d had tea with John Lennon or something. Mark E. Smith said hello to me was my claim to fame for the rest of the day. The gig was great. We were real nervous before. If there’s any band you need as role models it’s The Fall, keep their ethics.

Q: Talk about your UK dates with Scotland’s Pilotcan in Jan/Feb 1997. Pic from Scotland above, by Kieron Mellotte.

We played 6 gigs in 11 days. The better shows were in Edinburgh and London (Camden Falcon). We’ve never really been able to get it together in Scotland, the gigs we played there in ‘95 were bad, both tours. We played with Pilotcan, we knew them from the first tour when we slept on Keiron, from the bands, floor. He puts on gigs, we slept on the same floor as Jon Spencer. He was telling us that Deus had stayed in his flat before us and that they were mad. They were all real quiet, if they weren’t out drinking they’d just be sitting around or you’d find them reading a book. They all kept talking their own language and then laughing. Kieron and all his mates would  be sitting there freaked, up the wall, he’s got  a bunch of Belgians having their own private jokes in his flat (laughs).

Stuart from Mogwai got up at the Attic in Edinburgh and played a Smog track, ‘I Break Horses’. He did it amazing, just him and guitar, he did one or two Mogwai tracks as well, the best thing that happened that night. That was the Pilotcan single launch, it was a mad night. We were all on magic mushrooms and we were going back the next day. We fell asleep listening to the Modern Lovers, amazing album, like the Velvets.

Live review from Melody Maker for first UK tour

A: Any more thoughts?

We never thought in a million years that Cornershop would work with us or even Lo Recordings wanting to put our stuff out on compilations and that. It’s staggering to us, it mightn't mean a great deal to a lot of people but it’s what we always wanted to do. Our aim is to bombard the planet with as much stuff as we can.

A few more live adverts

Wormhole and a few other Irish bands played at the 1995 Phoenix festival (get your glasses out to find them all!)

I travelled to see them play at The Garage and then joined them on the road for the next show the following night at Bristol’s Loco supporting Trumans Water. We travelled back the same night to the comforts of The Florence aka Hotel Cash in London’s King Cross.

Stephen Rennicks

[grandcycletour-blog]

Winter hiking Mt Bogong in a storm + gear you need to hike Mt Bogong

If you just want to read about the gear I used scroll to the bottom of the page. The best snow season in over 10 years.. This weekend another trip up to Mt Bogong was on the cards. After the best snow season in over 10 years, over two meters of hard pack and some fresh new falls I figured it was time to make the most of it. We planned to camp on the summit and watch the sunrise - things turned out VERY differently I met up with some hikers from Melbourne Uni Mountaineering Club (MUMC) and we headed up the Staircase Spur. The weather forecast was for rain and snow on Saturday and fine and sunny skies on Sunday and the plan was to camp on the summit and enjoy the sunrise. Needless to say, things didn’t quite go as planned. Climbing the Staircase Spur By the start of the steep Staircase Spur section people were lagging a little so Tim (who I’d only just met that morning) and I decided to go ahead and then wait at or near the summit for the rest of the group. A storm arrives from nowhere blanketing us in deep snow An hour later and less than a kilometer from the top and a storm rolled in. Visibility dramatically reduced in seconds and, with some of the 2.5 meter snow poles completely buried it became hard to distinguish parts of the route. At one section the snow was so deep and powdery we had to drag ourselves onto a ridge using only our upper body. HIking through the deep snow takes a toll and temperatures suddenly drop The final 400 meter push seemed to go on forever, the wind picking up and driving into us with violence, at times making us crouch down just to stay in the same place. As soon as we got to the top the temperature dramtically fell to minus 8, so we both stripped down as fast as we could and as quickly as we could manage threw on all of the clothes we had in our packs. Too late to turn back in the storm so we make a hasty decision... Too cold to stay where we were, and not wanting to head straight back down the way we’d come fearing the others might have completely turned back, (meaning we'd be risking having to come straight back up again if the weather cleared), we decided to head across the Bogong massif to Cleve Cole hut, a 4-5 km trek. Mt Bogong tries to kill me - I've never been in a storm like this! The combination of blustering wind and snow ripping into our faces and trying to blow us off the ridge, low visibility and freezing temperature meant that even though it was downhill, it was probably the hardest hour of hiking I’ve ever done. Shivering uncontrollably By the time we finally made it to the hut we were both shivering and chattering uncontrollably. The sight of a tiny old coonara with a burning (smoking) log in it and a couple of boarders huddled around in their down gear drinking whisky was a comfort to behold; we both breathed a sigh of relief, but tried not to make it too obvious just how relieved to be out of the storm we really were… Setting up the tent on the top of Mt Bogong in the snow (see photos below) With music still belting out of the hut at 10pm, and snow and wind still howling and thrashing outside I decided I couldn't put if off any longer, it was time to head out and set up my tent. It proved to be far harder than I’d imagined... After about half an hour of shoveling snow and then trying to put it up without the tent flying off out of my hands into the sky I was spent… Finally by 11 I got into my sleeping bag and crashed out, only to be woken what felt like one minute later at sunrise by a screaming, gurgling stomach and a full bladder. The storm passes and a beautiful sunrise greets me (see photos below) After a mad toilet dash (I had diarrhea) I realised I was half glad to be woken up; the skies had cleared and the wind had vanished, and as I laid in the tent watching the first glows of the sun slowly rise over the snow-capped mountains I couldn’t help but be amazed by the beauty of such a sudden transformation. Eventually, little by little the sun edged its way above the white highlands and landed on my face, spreading a miraculous warmth all through me that turned the freeze of the night before into a distant memory.   Heading down the Icy Winter bitten Eskdale Spur On the way back I found my now frozen water bottle (pictured) that I'd lost in the storm the night before. Ironically I only had it for another kilometre before I lost it again on a high speed sliding tumble on a steeper icy section of the Eskdale Spur. 16 kilometers of mostly a downhill stumble, and a few deeper than expected river crossings / dashes later and I'm reunited with the others. Naked girls at Mt Bogong in winter - seriously Some of them are already tending to huge scary looking blisters and others, are to my surprise, acutely preoccupied with ripping their gear off and jumping, completely naked, into the icy cold river in full sight of a young family eating lunch... (sorry guys, no pics were taken of the girls ;) Gear I recommend you take during winter for your hike up Mt Bogong: 1. A good quality Mountaineering tent - I recommend the latest vrersion of the Black Diamond Hilight 2 tent. Or get the Higlight 3 if there are 2 of you. I have used the original Black Diamond Hilight tent (the yellow version) on many Mountaineering trips (proababy about 20) and it has been awesone. 2. A sleepling bag with minimum 800 down fill. DO NOT get a sleeping bag and ignore the comfort rating. If you go by the extreme rating you will be extremely unfomfortable. I have a a Mountain Hardwear Phantom sleeping bag rated to minus 18C (comfort). 3. Get a good water resistant super lightweight (why carry more weight than you have to, especially if you get caught in a Bogong storm!) backpack from the guys at Hyperlite Mountain Gear (my dad loves them so much he has 3!). They make the best lightweight backpacks in the world - that's not an exaggeration. 4. Proper warm socks. Lots of people wear normal hiking socks in winter and then complain about cold feet. Don't do that, get some proper winter mountaineering socks. See this article about the best mountaineering socks in 2020. 5. A down jacket with a minimum fill quality rating of 800 (lots of cheaper jackets use cheaper quality down like 600 down). I have this lightweight down jacket, (it's on sale right now for a great price) I bought it AFTER this hike. I have now used it several times and WISH i had have had it on my freezing Mt Bogong hike.

[bodriversblog]

It was a stupid dare, and you were a dumbass to go through with it… But college is the time to do stupid shit, right?

“Are you serious?” said Rhys, giving your unassuming, un-inked body a once-over. “Sorry, I don’t touch the face, neck, or hands unless you have at least a few pieces already. And honestly, you’re gonna have a hard time finding any artist who would.”

“Wait,” said your friend Jake, who was sitting beside you. “Would you change your mind if we told you it’s for a dare, and he’s gonna get it lasered off after a month?”

“That makes it even worse, dude,” said Rhys, as he started getting up. “I’m serious about my art, and I’m not gonna purposefully give someone a tat he doesn’t really want—”

“—How about I throw in an extra two thousand above your normal fee?” said Jake, nonchalantly.

Before Rhys could even protest, Jake threw two thick stacks of 20s onto the table. You saw the tattooist mouth something in bewilderment before he sat back down. After a few seconds of pondering Jake’s offer, he looked back at you.

“You and your friend have more money than sense, but I need a new set of tires, so… I’m just gonna take this,” he said.

“Oh it’s all Jake’s,” you replied.



“Just to make sure I got this right… You want a thumb-sized tattoo—chosen by your bougie friend—right on your forehead… And you don’t want to see it until it’s done?”

“That’s right,” you responded. Nerves had your stomach feeling all knotted up, but in your head you knew Jake’s crazy shenanigans always turned out fine in the end. College had been a blast ever since Jake had entered your life.

“And even though you’ve never gotten a tattoo before, you’re gonna be fine with the pain of me repeatedly jabbing needles into your face, and you promise that you’re not gonna bitch out?”

“I promise.”

Rhys sighed.

“Fine, I’ll do it. But if your friend asks me for any hate symbols, I’m gonna kick his ass. Also, he can’t ask for any colors since those are harder to erase. And I’m diluting the black to about a 75% grey. And I’m using a light touch. It’ll start fading right away and probably end up looking like shit, so don’t you ever tag me or this place in any pics online, and don’t tell anyone I did this for you.”

“Deal,” said Jake, before you could respond. “Now let me show you the design…”

After looking at whatever was on Jake’s phone, Rhys quickly led you and Jake to the back and sat you on a chair. After disappearing for a few minutes, Rhys came back with a stencil.

The first 15 minutes of inking felt like an eternity. You focused on keeping your breath steady as the searing pain and the buzzing of the gun pounded your skull. You remained silent as you listened to Jake and Rhys chat on how exactly did you end up in that tattoo shop, on the last Sunday before classes started, with this crazy idea.

Jake, being his over-talkative self, started by explaining how, way back last year, he’d gotten himself an entire house right off campus, where he’d first met you during one of his infamous keggers (the next of which Rhys was totally invited to, by the way). It didn’t take long for Jake to bring you into his crew, and take you on as his next “project.” To like, get you to come out of your shell. Eventually his housemate would move out, which was a bummer, but that meant the room was wide open for you this year.

And it was yesterday morning while you were moving in, when another of Jake’s friends mentioned the new tattoo removal clinic that had opened over the summer. And you guys were curious about it, even though no one in the group had any tats. (But Jake totally would’ve tatted up by now if his dad wouldn’t disown him.)

So you volunteered to get some ink. And not just anywhere, but right on your forehead, and you’d keep it there for four weeks until you started getting laser treatments to get rid of it. Cuz you’re crazy like that.

Wait, was that really how the conversation went? You could’ve sworn it was Jake’s idea…

Jake—being in his “comfortable” financial situation—would pay for the tattoo, and then for the removal. And if you went about your college life without covering up the tat or holing up in your room while you had it, you could choose any tattoo that would stay on Jake’s ass until graduation. Sure, the whole plan sounded like something straight out of Jackass, but college is the time to do stupid shit, and maybe this shit could get you famous on Youtube or something.

You broke your silence by telling Rhys you needed a breather. The pain had been making you clench all over.

After Rhys stepped out of the space, Jake took out a pair of wireless Beats from his bag.

“Hey, champ, you did great. You’re a beast,” Jake said, flashing a mischievous grin.

“Thanks Jaker. I had no idea it was gonna hurt that much. I was afraid I was gonna move… What’s that for?” You pointed to the headphones.

“I just remembered I brought these, so maybe you should listen to that playlist you like so much… You know, to distract from the pain.”

“You mean your weird take on ‘lo-fi chill beats to study and relax to?’ Don’t get so full of yourself, I don’t like it that much, haha.”

“Woww...” Jake pulled back his wavy dark brown bangs as he feigned offense.

“That hurts, bro. You know how much of my heart and soul I put into updating my playlist… Actually, I’m not at all hurt cuz I know you’ll beg me to put it on for you, and you’re gonna love it and thank me for its healing power—”

“—OK, OK, that’s enough. Just put the headphones on me. My hands are all clammy and gross.”

“Sure thing, bro,” said Jake, with a strange twinkle in his hazel eyes.

As soon as Jake sat back down from putting the headphones on you, you saw Rhys return, donning fresh gloves. You closed your eyes as the familiar music enveloped you. It was the soundtrack of the many late nights you spent with Jake in his room. Sometimes you really did your studying to it. But other times, you’d relax, talking with Jake about everything and anything, but mostly you and the potential he saw in you. Listening to the playlist often took you back to the first time you’d met him, during that fateful party almost exactly a year ago.

He’d been standing out on the balcony, watching the full moon. You’d asked him what he was listening to, and with a smirk, he’d wordlessly stuck both earbuds into your ears. At first you were confused by the silence but then you picked up on the beat… And the two different voices, split between both ears:

“Trust me,” sang the left, with heavy distortion.

“Lose control,” sang the right, sounding slowed down.

“TRUST ME.”



“LOSE CONTROL.”

“TRUST ME.”

“LOSE CONTROL.” The music started to speed up.

“TRUST ME. LOSE CONTROL. TRUST ME. LOSE CONTROL…”

This song always took you back… But this time, as you were listening to it in the tattoo parlor, something was different. A third voice, evenly spread to sound like it was stalking you from behind:

“This is the next phase. Become the new meat.

“This is the next phase. Become the new meat.

“You are the meathead,” the voice approached closer.

“You are the meathead,” closer.

“You are the meathead,” closer.

I AM THE MEATHEAD, you replied with the whole of your being, before being awoken by a hand tapping your shoulder.


“Hey, wake up, Champ,” Jake said as he took off the headphones. “You’re all done.”

You were confused.

You’d thought the tattoo was gonna take at least an hour, but after just one song on Jake’s playlist, you were done already. At first you were tempted to feel concerned, but you remembered that Jake had said it would distract from the pain, and he was right. He was always looking out for you.

“Well,” said Rhys, handing you a mirror. “What do you think?”

You looked at your reflection. There, right in the middle of your forehead:

🍖

The meat emoji. A cylinder with two ends of a bone sticking out of it. Really? You were surprised, but relieved that it wasn’t something obscene or gross. Little did you know that it unlocked the next phase of Jake’s plans for your development…

[hope-4-tomorrow]

Part 1

_____

I wanted to use this blog to tell my story. I’ve never told anyone the whole thing and I don’t think I ever would (except anonymously). Looking back, it’s hard not to beat myself up. Hindsight is 20/20 and I was blinded by so many things.

——-

We met online in 2015. He was one of those guys who was kinda cute in some pics, really hot in others, and questionable in the rest. In his profile, he stated he was a Christian and really into fitness. He wanted someone who prioritized their health and God. I was immediately pulled in. I wanted a Christian man and I was getting myself back in shape. The first message he sent was about this horror movie I listed on my profile. “Hardly anyone” has seen this movie. So I was impressed he knew it and liked it. The conversation went from there and we met about a month later.

He was the most attractive guy I’d ever seen and certainly the most attractive guy who was ever into me. We spent most of the day together just talking and getting to know one another. It was really nice.

The second date, he picked me up and took me out to dinner. I was impressed because I lived a good 40 minutes from him and he drove us back to his area. It was pouring rain and I’m afraid to drive in the rain, so he picked me up. After dinner, we picked up some wine and took it to his place. A dumb decision, but he was respectful. We got a little tipsy and just talked. I love a guy who can hold a conversation and can talk about meaningful things. He was that.

He drove me home and my mom was really impressed he had picked me up. He was already setting a good impression on her and on me.

Looking back, I can spot two major red flags amongst the small ones. I definitely didn’t see them at the time.