#i suck at shooter games lmao

[deer-with-a-stick]

oh wait holy fuck how did I miss this

Legend of Lara Croft??? Lets go (and lets hope its good)

is it just me or am i getting really heavy tlovm vibes from it? like name and animation wise. not complaing, i love the style

[corneille-moisie]

i love you video games that you dont need to get good at, i love you games that dont rush you, i love you games that dont require dexterity, i love you games with easy settings, i love you games with accessibility features, i love you games in which you dont die, i love you games in which the stakes arent high, i love you easy games

[halinski]

*always getting mad that i keep dying in games*

*forever refuses to use the block and/or evade buttons even when i eventually learn what they are halfway through*

[teddybeartoji]

ok but do you think toji gets a good laugh out of you playing shooter games like call of duty or smth..... i feel like no matter what au he knows his guns lmao so whenever you're talking abt the weapons or whenever you use any sort of game lingo that similar to military terms, he's just staring at you with his eyebrows raised and with an amused smile on his lips. he thinks it's fucking hilarious. but i do think he'd find it impressive, too... if you're good, i mean. if you're hitting your shots and doing a good job and if you've really have familiarized yourself with the names of the guns and you know your shit, this man is popping a fat boner.

if you suck, he's gonna tease the living fuck out of you:333

[parti-poppers]

what are your fav fukalen headcannons that you have?

Oh lord you don’t even know

I have far too many and I physically can’t pick favorites, so I present you; Pop’s Fukalen Headcanon Masterlist (that hasn’t been updated in a good while)

-They get into dumb stupid trouble a lot, Len cuz he’s overly confident, stubborn and stupid, and Fukase because he’s an agent of chaos

-They casually bully (not really, just tease) each other a lot

-They don’t really need to communicate to cause havoc, they just sorta catch each others dumbass brain waves

-Though Luka is the main English tutor for the Kagamines, Fukase also helps Len with his English a lot

-After Fukase has helped Len with English so much, it became a habit for Fukase to speak English to Len so that he could hear it more and learn, so though it’s not actually necessary it has become natural for them to have conversations where Len speaks Japanese and Fukase speaks English

-Fukase’s kinda jealous of Len’s dance skills but refuses to admit it, instead just saying Len’s a show off (he’s not wrong)

-They’re both gamers and play together a lot, though Fukase leans more towards shooters and Len’s a bit of a rhythm game fanatic

-They played Portal 2 together which consisted of Fukase carrying and Len fucking around bc he wasn’t built for puzzle games

-Fukase says project diva is dumb and not even a good game because he generally doesn’t like rhythm games as he tends to suck at them, but he’s secretly a hardcore project diva fan and plays it a lot

-Similarly, he complains about Sekai being cashgrab trash and just another shitty gacha game but he’s mildly addicted

-Oh and his fave module is Len’s Trickster one because then they have a matching cane and hat vibe goin’ on

-Sometimes when they’re in group chat with friends Fukase and Len will argue, and Fukase will say something like “shut up bb”, earning something like a “lmao you calling him baby that’s kinda gay” from the others, and the response is usually something along the lines of “YOU ALL KNOW ITS SHORT FOR BANANA BOY SHUT THE HELL UP”

-Len makes fun of Fukase’s overly complicated design a lot but had an edgy phase where he thought it was the peek of fashion and secretly wanted to look like him

-Len really likes Fukase’s lower range (especially when paired with his softer voice), but keeps that secret locked up and kept away from everyone and anyone

-Len assumed for ages that Fukase wore eyeliner until he did his makeup once and told him to take it off and Fukase was like “what eyeliner” and Len was like “you’re not wearing eyeliner???”

-Fukase gets super easily cold which is why he wears so many layers, meanwhile Len is that kid that walks around in a t-shirt and shorts all year around, a bit of a living heater if you will. It can either be optimal for cuddling or make it impossible, depends

-They use a lot of different nicknames for each other depending on context- usually Fukase might call Len “Banana Boy”, “Blondie”, “Twink” or “Dumbass” and Len might call Fukase “Clown” “Fuckass” “Fuka” or “Kase”. You’ll probably never catch Fukase saying “Babe” (Banana Boy > BB > Baby/Babe)or Len saying “Fukafuka” (fluffy/soft) out in the open tho

-Fukase and Flower are best friends, and Flower has a habit of giving people nicknames based on flowers. Fukase sorta picked up on this, occasionally calling Len “Buttercup”

-Every time someone asks Fukase how his face got scarred he comes up with the most wild and shocking story he can think of on the spot to get a reaction out of whoever is asking, but none of these manage to shock Len anymore because he’s heard every single one Fukase has managed to conjure up

-Fukase has multiple sorted reference, meme, quote, and random picture folders so he can send whatever he deems perfect in any given situation at any given time. Depending on context Len will more often than not know “oh this person said this, so Fuka is gonna send/show this specific thing in three, two, one- there it is”

-Whenever Len comes over to Fukase he will prioritize saying hi to Point before Fukase. Fukase‘s kinda accepted that Len likes Point more than him

-The way Len treats Point compared to the way Fukase does is night and day- Len holds it like a newborn child talking to the it like it’s a puppy, while Fuka be out here dragging it by a limb sayin “ya stinky”

-Point is their unofficial child probably

-Len likes a lot of Fukase’s original English songs, but knows his own English isn’t the best, at least not compared to Fukase’s, so he only ever jams to them and sings along in private

-Though he makes fun of it a lot, Fukase thinks Len’s English is kinda endearing, but he keeps that to himself

-Fukase has the weird ability to making insults sound like compliments, and compliments sound like insults, and Len is sick of it cuz it makes him very confused and annoyed

-Fukase speaks fluent sarcasm, meanwhile Len’s brain sometimes just short circuits and he can’t pick up on sarcasm whatsoever

-Fukase is a smartass with dumbass energy and Len is a dumbass who tries to have smartass energy (in contrast to Rin, who fully embraces her dumbassness and dumbass energy and thinks Len should too. He insists he isn’t as dumb as her and she’s like “bro you’re literally my reflection”)

-Len legit has a big ego (some describe him as mildly narcissistic) while, Fukase is just great at faking confidence and actually doesn’t think very highly of himself, though Len insists he absolutely should

-Fukase likes cracking self deprecating jokes. He does that more than your average person due to his secretly low confidence

-Len, due to his higher than average confidence, usually doesn’t find self deprecating jokes funny cuz he doesn’t relate to them, and it often takes him a second to get them. Sometimes, if he notices his friends making a lot of them, he’ll get kinda worried and be like “damn you need therapy or smthn?”

-Len sometimes aggressively delivers compliments to Fukase, or whoever he thinks needs them

-Fukase’s terrible at accepting compliments

-Len straight up started giving Fukase self love classes to teach him real confidence

-He also gives Fukase dance lessons, but Fukase usually doesn’t learn much because Len’s too busy showing off. They have fun tho

-Fukase really like when Len has his hair down

-Len’s kind of a mess in the kitchen, so when they have to prepare something themselves Fukase usually does it for the both of them

-When they’re out together they like to get milkshakes/smoothies. If both are almost broke and they gotta share, they compromise and get the banana and strawberry drink. While their fave flavors in general are banana for Len and strawberry for Fukase, they both have come to enjoy the banana and strawberry combo. Sometimes they lie to each other abt being broke just to order it and share

-Len says Wi-Fi Imagination Wild Boy is “their song” but Fukase likes to pretend it doesn’t exist and never happened out of embarrassment

-Len likes having one hand on each side of Fukase’s face because the difference in skin texture on each side feels funny. Fukase says it’s weird that he likes doing that, but doesn’t stop him from squishing his face

-Fukase always ponders how the Cryptons have perfect skin, or well, at least he knows Len does- perfect nails too, great for head scratches

-While Fuka is normally not the biggest fan of surprise physical contact, it’s kinda become a habit of Len to just randomly scratch his head or run his hand through his hair. This is an exception. If you comment on it tho, Fukase will suddenly start acting annoyed by it and smack Len’s hand away. Len teases him a bit for liking it

-Len absolutely adores how fluffy and messy Fukase’s hair is

-Fukase has his reasons for keeping his arm bandages, maybe health, convenience, not wanting to freak people out- but one is because he has a habit of picking at the skin there, which Len is trying to get him to stop doing

-Fukase’s arm picking worries Len, so sometimes he changes Fukase’s bandages for him just to make sure he won’t do it

-Len’s a trans guy and Fukase is one of the few people Len’s comfortable not binding his chest in front of, other than the other Cryptons and Piko (bc Piko’s his best friend)

-Fuka barely needs any sleep getting like 4 hours on average, while is a professional honk mimimier who likes getting his 8 hours of beauty sleep

-Because of Len’s habit of sleeping like a baby and the fact that he’s usually busy as fuck, Fukase always lets him sleep in when they have sleepovers at his place, not having the heart to wake him up

-When they have sleepovers they always end up having an argument a little while after Len starts showing signs of being tired. These basically consist of Len saying “if I go to bed now I know you’re just gonna stay up all night, get your ass to bed now or I’m staying up and annoying you while sleep deprived” and Fukase saying “you look like you’re gonna pass out and you know damn well I won’t be able to sleep for a while, go to bed or I’m carrying your sleepy ass over there“. Which of them wins varies

-Though they both frequently tease each other and are okay with teasing/being teased about pretty much anything, they also know exactly when they’re crossing a line or pushing certain buttons. Sometimes they’ll push the others buttons just a little or see how far they can go, but they always know when to stop and when the other isn’t cool with it anymore

-Fukase adores the horror genre as a whole, while Len’s more easily freaked out but pretends like he has no fear- so, when they’re for example picking out a movie to watch, Fukase might wanna watch a horror movie and Len will be like “Pft of course no problem I’m not a wimp” but then later in the middle of the movie they’ll have to pause and chill together for a bit because Fukase’s like “dude you look like you’re gonna cry maybe let’s not, want some hot coco?”

-Fukase and Len once started talking about some English tv show and after it came up in conversation Len confessed that he had a hard time following without Japanese subtitles, especially when he wants to sing along to the songs. This lead Fuka to say he could help him if there was anything he needed clarified when watching it, which lead to them watching the show together. Now they’ve developed a habit of watching stuff together so Fukase can help translate and clarify, even though Len doesn’t need it much anymore

-While Len loves doing concerts and performances, he gets very homesick and missed his friends since he’s so social. He’ll text people non stop, though he’s sometimes worried that it gets a little annoying- but Fukase doesn’t mind at all. Len always somehow gives him the ability to watch them live from his home and tells him about how it is and that he misses him, and since Fukase doesn’t have a sleep schedule it usually works wherever Len is. Len also hooked him up with some real nice glowsticks that he furiously waved around when watching

-Since Fukase and especially Len are both pretty dang successful and feel like can’t really comfortably talk about their insecurities or negative feelings regarding their loid status in front of less successful loids, like Piko or Lui, they kinda just talk about it to each other. They bond over it- knowing Piko has it worse, Fuka isn’t as bothered much by his licensing, but is ashamed that his VP doesn’t care for him. And Len, tho almost always feeling like he’s the best he could be, sometimes feels inferior to Rin when remembering that he’s just kind of an add on to her

-Len has little to no insecurities regarding his looks, though he spent like his eye color very much, partially bc he’s often made to wear brighter green or blue contacts for promo stuff. Fukase thinks this is bullshit and Len’s eyes are pretty as hell

-Fukase is disabled, hence the cane, and doesn’t typically mind it too much because it lets him skip out on a lot of stuff in PE and other such things. His one complaint is that he can’t really carry Len bc of his balance, but Len insists it’s ok

-While being a bit of a twig and not a fan of exercise, but he does have a bit of upper body mass because he plays drums and has used crutches/wheelchairs at several points in life. Len’s the more athletic of the two tho and likes to brag about

-Len has dog energy and Fukase has cat energy

-Len bought Fukase a pair of those headphones with cat ears on them. Fukase said it was stupid, asked why he spent money on them and claimed he’d never wear them, but he often uses them at home

-They’ve faked a proposal for free food

-Len kinda doesn’t really know what exactly Fukase is or how he works but also doesn’t really care

-Fukase loves showing Len games that are actually horror games but don’t seem like it at first. Len always gets suspicion and Fukase always goes “nonono this ones’s fine it’s not scary at all I promise” and Len always falls for it

-After Len complained about it enough he finally manages to get Fukase to eat three meals a day (or at least try to). Fukase forgets to every now and again but Len’s usually there to remind him

-Despite the fact that nothing seems to make Len insecure ever, there was one time his perfect skin had a pimple and he refused to come out of his room for almost anything. Fukase had to sit outside his room and convince him it really wasn’t that bad on three separate occasions

-One time when Len and Rin were hanging out with Miku and some popular friends after a concert Fukase borrowed Flower’s motorbike to pick Len up so he’d seem cool. Was very effective on Len but the others were like “lmao you two are dorks” and “Wait is Fukase even allowed to drive that”

-Their friends were genuinely very surprised to find out that they liked each other because they both had this very tsundere-esque, mean, teasing and pulling no punches way of interacting so everyone figured they really disliked each other (both of them were surprised to find that the other liked them back too)

-When Fukase and Moke, who were the last members to join the friend group, first met Len, Fukase really disliked him while Moke adored him. This was in big part because Fukase knew Len’s celebrity image as an arrogant, self obsessed, annoying asshole, and Moke, being very into otaku culture, was a big fan who idolizes him and found his celebrity image to be talented and charming. However, when they actually got to know him, the script completely flipped and Fukase now finds him dumb, but charming, while Moke just finds him unbearable

[blubushie]

Hi, hope you're having a good day, here's one of my aunt's puppies and frog in a bucket

(Sorry for that last ask, I think i was tring to express a sympathy on "dealing with this thing sucks", pretty sure I fucked it completely, learned I shouldn't send asks after midnight, sorry)

OHOHOHOHOHO

And nah it's fine <3 Tbh just didn't know how to respond cuz I'm in the same boat. I was basically deported and don't have Aussie citizenship despite trying for years and living there most my life lmao. I know exactly how it goes and it's a chore. "There's no demand for shooters" suck my dick I am singlehandedly saving our natural ecosystems rn 😭

Slight rant under cut

ETA: Also I've met too many people who genuinely talked about wanting to get Australian citizenship because of TF2. Because they think Australia is just Sniper or something. Or the best country ever while ignoring the climate change/racism/housing crisis/inflation/price gouging/cost of living/inhospitability/natural disasters/etc. Australia isn't in a good state right now, most people are barely able to survive, and our middle class is practically non-existent. But people see Sniper TF2 and go "omg Aussie..." and decide they wanna be Australian for some fucking reason while literally knowing zack about the country OUTSIDE of how it's portrayed in media. Nothing of us or our culture, they think they know some slang terms or some shit and that's enough to be considered Australian. And that gets on my fucking nerves cuz I'm still tryna get citizenship cuz it's literally my home and I grew up there.

People also only do this with Sniper btw. You don't see people going "I'm gonna move to GERMANY!!" cuz of Medic, or Russia for Heavy, or Texas for Engie, or Boston, or France, or anything else. It's literally just Sniper. This fandom is fucken weird fetishy about Australia sometimes and on rougher days I genuinely wanna leave it because of it. Any time someone says they want Australian citizenship my first question is why? What do you think Australia has/can give you that your home country can't? Too many bad experiences. This goes extra double for countries on the same development scale as Australia—America, Russia, the UK, South Africa, cuz then it's obvious that it's usually more about what they think Australia is like (because of what they've seen in media) rather than them trying to seek a better life/better opportunities elsewhere.

Anyway the amount of people coming into my DMs/inbox going "how do get Aussie citizenship/immigrate" is too damn high. My brother in gaming if I knew how then I wouldn't be stuck in America. And when I know they're in the TF2 fandom it basically always leaves a bad taste in my mouth cuz my kangaboo detector goes ding. So most those asks get deleted

Sorry for the ramble. This has been on my head a while though. I've met too many people who fetishise Australia/Aussies cuz of shit they've seen in media. Hits me in that "white people seeing exotic nature of locals" bone. Australia is still a "wild land" in some people's eyes so naturally people (usually white) wanna come here and be weird about it. And it usually leads to exploitation (see: arguing with First Nations to give up land rights to built fucking houses)

Rant over I'm burnt out lol. None of this is directed at you I'm just explaining why I deleted the ask. Didn't know how to respond + my kangaboo detector went off. So I played it safe

[literaltrashforeverything]

I'm gonna die on my deathbed explaining why Ghost is actually a normal person outside the military and he's extremely mischaracterized.

You will never be able to convince me that Simon "Ghost" Riley doesn't do normal person things outside of his job. Sure, his information his top-secret, but that's all the more reason for him to be a normal person outside deployments.

💀

Here's examples of Ghost being domestic:

- He goes grocery shopping every Thursday at 2:30PM because it's when the store is the least busy.

- He wears a black fabric surgical mask when he's not at home. He's more comfortable covering his face but it's not an issue if he's somewhere where he can't have a mask.

Was strangely comforted when COVID happened because it normalized wearing face masks.

- He sits in the mirror of his bathroom every two weeks so he can chop his hair when he grows too long.

- He's a phenomenal sniper but when it's time to shave his face then suddenly his hands are shaking and he's cut himself at least 4 times. (Prolly that sharp jawline 🤭)

- Loves dogs. Will ask people if he can pet their dog. (They're shitting themselves bc this giant masked man just asked to pet their dog in the most monotone voice)

- Has called Price to ask for advice on dating. He's got a crush on the girl from the coffee shop down the street from his flat and he needs some help on asking her out.

- when he's not on a deployment, he's probably at home eating pocky while watching Top Gun. Ends up falling asleep on the couch and snores like a dad.

- he's probably in his late 20s-early 30s and owns a flat somewhere in Manchester. (He was never able to fully separate himself from where he grew up)

- has a pet beta fish named Toes that the old neighbor lady takes care of while he's on deployment.

- He secretly pulls pranks around base when he's stationed somewhere. Nobody knows it's Ghost secretly leaving tiny plastic babies from Amazon around the entire base. He never gets caught and it's still a mystery where these babies keep popping up at.

- drinks milk, probably

- Will get violent if he watches an American microwave tea in front of him.

- Like Price, he WILL correct the word "soccer" into "football" like he's got some type of vendetta against the audacity.

- Sneezes like a fucking dad

- He's severely allergic to cats so the second he sees one, he will instantly abort mission. It's a whole scene watching a 6'5 skull-masked man jerk back the second a cat steps in front of him while he's on a mission.

- Hates spiders. He's not the spider killer around the base. Will not go into a room if he's seen a spider in there unless someone else killed it for him.

- He listens to Queen, you can't convince me otherwise.

- (Killer Queen is his favorite)

- He actually has an entire tattoo sleeve on his left arm, not just a forearm sleeve. If you look close enough, you can tell that it's actually just the most cliché military tattoo sleeve that's ever existed. He didn't even care what the tattoo was, he just wanted one to look cool.

- Bad Santa is unironically his favorite movie.

- Plays first-person shooter games with Gaz sometimes and always loses.

- Is the guy who brings beer to literally any event ever. Without fail. And it's always a beer that only he likes so he can have it all for himself. Everyone else started drinking them despite how disgusting they are just because they figured out that he was trying to hoard it for himself.

- Sucks at playing Monopoly. Absolutely no strategy.

💀

I can keep going lmao. I have ideas for days lmaooo

[sugarywishes]

Since he's legit able to comfortably fit in baby strollers, I really can't believe he's around 16. XD But that's just my opinion. As for them being in a relationship in the future...i suppose people are just starved for anything that doesn't involve an Animatronic. XD Doesn't really matter to me, on account of them being kids (cause Gregory aside, of which I still don't believe, there's no way Cassie's 16), but do you have any more headcanons for them? Like how they relax when they're not causing mischief? And just generally vibing.

So true. He is literally just a baby 👶🍼 ain't no way he can be a teen, and if he is, oh boy I'm gonna feel horrible for the Cassie/Gregory shippers 😭😭 because Cassie is likely 11-12, and if the stupid theories are true then GREGORY IS ONLY 2-3 YEARS AWAY FROM BEING ON A LIST

Anyways, bonus headcanon time!!

More Cassie and Gregory Headcanons!

- As I said in the previous hc post, they totally hang out in arcades. They both suck at dancing games, shooter games (More or less for Gregory lmao) and basket hoop games BUT they are good at rhythm games surprisingly!! And the classic Atari games

- I can see them being playground dwellers (yk those kids who hang around playgrounds even when it's almost nighttime) they go on the swings all the time (who doesn't)

- shoutout to @/puhpandas for their headcanon of 'Gregory hangs out at Cassie's place all the time bc yk he's homeless but they don't tell her dad' LIKE YES THAT'S SO SAD

- I did say I hc'd Cassie as a former Ballerina and current gymnast but I also hc Gregory as having athletic/acrobatic abilities so sometimes they do a 'contest' to test out their skills (Cassie wins EVERYTIME YOU GO GIRL)

- THEY WOULD'VE LOVED INTO AND ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE PROVE ME WRONG

Thanks for asking! If you want more just ask! (Let's hope I don't run out of ideas soon)

[uwuza]

Do you play any video games by chance?

Ya, I play a lot of “comfy” games. I can’t do any shooter games though bc I suck ass at em’ lmao

[joelscruff]

random question: not sure if you’ve already answered this but do you play tlou games (1 + 2)? or are you exclusively a tlou show fan?

i've played some of the first game but gave up because i suck at first person shooter games lmao. I did however watch my brother play it in 2013 when it came out! i've since watched both as walkthroughs on youtube so technically i've watched both games, just not played them

[miniz00]

okay, here we go, take one

Welcome!

If you're reading this, then congratulations on finding this weird little space of mine.

I'm new, but I'm also not new. Accounts been sitting dormant for years, just waiting for the right time to rise like the Sole Survivor from cryosleep, and that time's come.

What'll I find here?

Pictures. Lots of pictures. Mostly gaming pictures, and mostly of various cars and scenes.

Rambles about my OCs. I have a lot, so expect to be hearing a lot about my characters and their lore (or lack thereof)

Little bits of writing here and there. I suck at it, but I still enjoy it, so prepare to see short stories with the many characters you'll encounter here

Gay jokes.

Maybe the occasional gaming clip.

Or rant about a game.

Or anime

Or music

Or just life in general.

Okay, but who are you?

Mini, Mini-Z! Friends call me Mini, 18M pansexual weirdo with a heavy hand for gaming, music and writing.

That's cool, but am I even allowed here?

Yes, yes you are! Unless you're a racist, homophobe, transphobe, TERF- y'know what, we're just gonna go with bigot. Then you'll get blocked. Because you're probably an asshole. And NSFW/kink focused blogs. Not because you're an asshole, but because I'm not into all the hornyposting. Other then that, whoever wants to come by, feel free!

Great, so what do you do?

Game. Swear. Write. Be gay and stupid. Right now I'm really into Cyberpunk 2077, I've done like 9 full playthroughs and with the release of Phantom Liberty, I'm about to start a 10th. Also into Call of Duty, Need for Speed, Rogue Company, Grand Theft Auto, Apex Legends, Stardew Valley, Minecraft, Metal Gear Solid, Fallout, etc. I mostly enjoy story based adventures, with racing games and shooters right behind them. I'm currently going into Psychology to become a therapist. I enjoy anime, though I've yet to watch certain shows such as Naruto or One Piece (I will eventually, I promise). My favorite though, will always be XXXHOLiC, the whole reason I'm into anime in the first place. I can't draw for the life of me, my hands aren't steady enough and I have no Pentazemin so I wouldn't expect any hand work that isn't words on a page or a render on Koikatsu. My music mostly consists is rap, hip hop and rock, but I employ a certain strategy when it comes to this. It's called "Listen to whatever the fuck I want, to hell with genres".

You sound weird.

GOOD.

I want to know more about you!

My askbox/DMs are open! Feel free to send me something or add me!

Read: pls help im lonely on here lmao

[dethkrypt]

HI HELLO UM could i req postal 1 (or redux, either works) gifset please?? :^!!

here you go. had to boot up both games and record myself playing, and very quickly realised i suck ass at top-down shooters. lmao

[yogurthoopsart]

Splatoon TOH Crossover Timeline/Concept

This is mainly for my own reference and ill be drawing art/designs for it later but I wanted to get everything outlined in one place. If you've been seeing my instagram you'll have seen some sketches already, but here's the IN DEPTH timeline and concept.

Philip's BS:

Humans are Octolings, and Witches are Inklings. The Boiling Isles is on the Surface, while the human realm is in the kettles.

Great Turf War ends. Octarians retreat underground and keep the militaristic lifestyle. They constantly fight against the Squidbeak Splatoon but fail.

Philip and Caleb are the only surviving members of their squad, and stuck together when reassigned. Their new squad was frontlines, and SUPER anti-inkling. Caleb played along to fit in, but Philip was heavily indoctrinated.

Caleb gets the chance to escape to the surface with the help of Evelyn the inkling, one of the members of the Squidbeak splatoon.

Philip goes after him under the impression that he was taken by force. Finds out otherwise. Kills him. You know the drill.

Ok this is getting long. Putting the rest under the cut

The Clawthornes are weapons specialists and bomb inventors. Evelyn hits Philip with a Fucked Up Bomb that has some sort of slime ooze, resulting in the "curse".

Philip lies low, steals his brother's corpse, and starts foraging for Octarian tech that makes its way up to the surface. He uses Octarian cloning tech (that exists in canon, thankfully) to clone Caleb. Grimwalkers are a go.

Philip finds the collector!!! (Idk how time travel is gonna work here so we're going to skim past that) But the collector is an advanced AI created by humans. It teaches Philip about technology, and Philip promises to connect it to the grid, "freeing" it.

The draining spell is a Giant Ink Canon (like in octo expansion). He's gonna use the blended Dna sludge ink (which he gets from "petrifications" of "wild witches") to wipe out all life on the surface.

Philip is now Belos. He cuts his round ears to blend in, and starts preaching about "Main Purity". Basically no one should have more than one main for the good of team balance. Each main has a color associated with it probably? Covens are called Clans, and each clan focuses on one weapon type.

He becomes Emperor. He edits inkling society into something more militaristic, resembling Octarian society. Think like... if everyone only cared about Ranked Mode. It sucks.

Clan Association Intermission (literally just went by vibes for this one):

Bard: Brushes

Construction: Rollers

Beast Keeping: Shooters

Potions: Blasters

Plants: Splatlings

Illusion: Dualies

Healing: Chargers

Oracle: Brellas

Abomination: Sloshers

Emperor's Clan: All

Idk about splatanas and trishots yet lmao

EDA TIME:

Eda is an inkling who is incredibly cracked at every weapon. She's SKILLED. She's a blaster main. She destroys. the only thing is that she goofs off too much. Squidpartying in ranked, painting amongus and hearts with the brushes, etc.

Lilith is good (squiffer main in my heart, Bella secondary), but not as good. She wants to join the Emperor's Clan with Eda, where inklings can use every weapon, but only one of them can make it. She finds a sample of Feathery ooze and infects Eda with it.

The "curse" turns Eda into a bird monster if she runs out of ink.

Eda finds a kettle to the surface. This is the portal.

Relationship with Raine is the same, not much changes. Raine is a brush main tho. Imagine Raine using a killer wail in place of the whistle during the Covens Vs Wilds game.

Eda finds King!!! King is a salmonid Chum, but is actually a King Salmonid Spawn. We'll get to that later.

Eda starts selling octarian tech she finds when she goes through the kettle! Her "potion" business is a bomb business. She also probably illegally mods her weapons a-la grizzco, making her the most powerful Inkling on the surface.

Season 1 - Luz time babyyyyy:

Luz is a young octoling obsessed with AZURA, and inkling idol group from the surface. Has only ever used an octoshot. She doesnt fit into the military-like society of the octarians, and is sent to boot camp by Camila.

Camila is an adult octoling, part of the Med Division. She also used to be obsessed with the surface too, along with Manny. Similar vibes to canon.

Luz is lured through the kettle by Owlbert, who im debating between him being a smallfry a-la lil' buddy situation or a sentient auto bomb. Haven't figured that out yet.

We're at the Owl House boys.

Hooty is a zapfish btw. If you care.

THE HEXSQUAD. Willow is originally in the "slosher" track (abominations) but moves to the Splatling track (plants) and She Will Kill You. Hydra Main in my heart.

on that note for the Teenage Abomination episode I can imagine Luz helping Willow mod tf out of a explosher for her project, or she hides inside some sort of weapon to sneak into class somehow.

Gus the dualie main. He kicks ass and does flips. Head of the Octarian Appreciation Society.

Amity mains sloshers in my heart, probably also dabbles in the really hardcore shooters like splattershot pro or 52. gal. The Blights are super expensive/professional weapons specialists/inventors.

Oh my god the Covention Amity vs Luz witches duel. 1v1 final destination. Luz doesn't have a weapon.

Stuff in season 1 pretty much goes by like canon. Luz wants to main all the weapons but with her own modifications (octarian tech stuff). Idk how the whole "Luz is a human and can't do magic" thing translates here, but im guessing it's kind of like... her ink doesn't calibrate easily with the inkling weapons, maybe?

King is obsessed with Salmonids instead of demons. The Intruder is him trying to teach Luz about "his kind", ie the salmonid bosses. This is also going into season 2 territory, but his section of Knock Knock Knocking on Hooty's door is them trying to figure out which boss salmonid he is (which he isn't one. He's a KING salmonid).

OH the petrification ceremony is Eda about to get Blended like in onto expansion.

And Luz's witch's wool cloak is modeled after agent 3's cloak in onto expansion. It's ink resistant.

The Belos vs Luz fight is just Luz w her octoshot trying to keep up with an X Ranker. She gets a lucky shot with an ink mine though.

Season 2

Belos has the damaged kettle. Lilith and Eda are both infected by the feathery ooze. Luz starts learning about More Weapon Types and Mods (glyph combos).

PHILIP'S DIARY. It's a video diary. I'm imagining its projected from a squee-G.

HUNTER is an octoling. His Golden Guard main is the octobrush (the golden guard staff).

Ok I JUST remembered purblethinkin did an octoling hunter design and also gave him an octobrush and this is EXACTLY what I was thinking. The kelp. The Golden octoling goggles. Yes.

Im starting to like the whole "Sentient Autobomb being Palismen" thing. Robot Flapjack. Either that or Lil Buddy flapjack.

VEE!!! There's two options for Vee. She's either a sanitized inkling or a fuzzy inkling.

The fuzzy inkling thing would fit better with her whole "technically im not supposed to exist" speech, since mammals are extinct, but Sanitization fits better with Belos's plan to wipe out all life with his sanitized ooze canon. Idk yet, could go either way.

The entirety of Yesterday's Lie is instead of Luz appearing in reflections, she appears in the loads of electronic screens underground. The beta portal they make is a communication device to connect underground.

Jacob Hopkins is an inkling conspiracy theorist lmao.

Stuff is p much the same as canon.

Oof. Hollow Mind. uhhh. It probably takes place in Belos's secret lab instead of his mind. the teleportation spell/walkie talkie is a super jump beacon.

The Titan Trappers are grizzco-like. King Trappers. They dress like salmonid chum/cohocks/smaller versions of cohozunas.

KING'S TIDE. King's salmonid powers are golden egg adjacent, which im going to say he has the ability to mess with technology. This allows him to "free" the collector and connect him to the grid.

Titan Blood is replaced with Golden Eggs in general btw.

Belos's curse turns him into a mud/ooze/sanitized ink creature.

OH the Sigils. idk about them. They're not really necessary since the canon is gonna kill Everything regardless of if they're in a clan or not. They're probably just licenses.

When the collector is free, he takes over all electronics on the surface and sets it up for THE MOST FUN SPLATFEST EVER.

Belos gets splatted (lol) like normal. Except it's probably by one of those octarian machines that the collector can take control of. You know the octobot king and the giant fists it has? Bam.

The Hexsquad ends up underground with Camila and Vee.

Season 3!!!!

Luz goes to school, which is just Octoling training. She's depressed like normal.

I kind of like to think that the underground isn't Intense Military like it used to be in Philip's time. It's generally pretty chill with some militaristic aspects bc they don't have a lot of electrical power.

The two new kids ("give me books about crusty old women") are octarians who LOVE Luz bc they heard about the mods she used to put on the basic-grade octoshots

The gang tries to get a working portal to the surface but it aint workin.

The gang finds the rebus to a hidden golden salmonid egg that can power a kettle to the surface.

Halloween is probably an octarian version of a splatfest/celebration. The Haunted Hayride is mild anti-inkling propaganda warning octolings about the dangers of the surface, using the Whittebane Squad as an example.

Hunter gets possessed like normal. I really want to include the brainwash glasses in this somehow but idk how to do it realistically so thats just on the back burner.

Aaaaand that's it so far! Feel free to suggest stuff. I think I got a general idea of everything though, except the palismen, sigils, and Vee's whole deal.

[the-technicolor-whiscash]

I feel like. If cyberpunk had gotten 3+ years in early access. It could have received as good of a reception as bg3. But because of the fact it “released” in an unfinished state, it sucked shit on release day and I mean hell it took them two years to put a wardrobe feature into the game. It ran like it was early access but was marketed as a complete game when it simply was not, and they’re still making updates to it.

This isn’t a diss against cyberpunk itself btw like I still love it the gameplay is the most fun I think I’ve ever had in a first person shooter but I think cdprojektred handled its release so poorly lmao. I think they’ve done well making it into a good functional game but again. Two years for a wardrobe.

[whitegoldtower]

Watched Hellboy 2 and as with the majority of this sort of media, once again, the elf was right.

Humans do, in fact, suck ass. They are greedy and they do ruin literally everything.

This film made me think about the absolute horror of the Industrial Revolution, watching your verdant world become smog-filled and black. If I had been alive long enough to see it all happen (I.e, if I had the lifespan of an elf), I would also want to cull the humans who had destroyed my habitat to make theirs bigger. I’m also just really sore about the fact that the city I live in just cut down a load of trees to make the pavements bigger in the central town. The pavements were big enough. The trees weren’t in the way or harming anyone. I am watching, in real time, industrialisation.

So pissed off I could eat my teeth.

And I felt so sad and angry and just really disappointed when he actually killed the forest god. Gonna sound bad when I say this, but I would have let it destroy the city. I’d literally have just put the weapon down, walked away and let it do its thing.

A lot of the time when people write stories about evil elves it’s just to make them feel better about how humans have ransacked and ravaged the natural world. To justify it. And even better, making the non-humans ‘forgive’ the humans for what they’ve done? LMAO. In another universe, ‘humans’ and ‘forgiveness’ would not Co-exist in my vocabulary.

I’d have a fucking colossal vendetta, and for each tree cut down, each plant destroyed, I’d cut down a human and use them as fertiliser. Call me population control.

Buuuuut, I wouldn’t go out of my way to hunt them. For the humans to stay alive would be as simple as heeding my one request; don’t destroy the forest. It’s simple, really. Not an impossible task. If a tree falls naturally, then by all means use its wood. I don’t bite. Promise. Even though I hate you all. 👹

I just want a film, or any piece of media, really, where the elves pop off and actually do win a war against the humans. I want to see humans getting knocked off that high horse and actually receiving the consequences of their actions. I want it to be the humans who suffer, for once. I WANT A GAME WHERE I CAN PLAY AS A SCORNED ELF AND HUNT HUMANS FOR SPORT. LIKE A FIRST PERSON SHOOTER.

Yknow like how in Doom the doom guy has to stave off hordes of demons so that his homeland doesn’t become hell

Yeah that, but you play as an elf finding really creative and gory ways to dispose of humans so that your forest homeland doesn’t become an industrialised hell

And you just cull them like rats

Anyway, rant over, I’m just a nihilist and would rather humans just didn’t exist tbh

[dexter-erotoph]

lmao being an only child sucks when you live in a neighbourhood where there are no other kids around

REAL… for a little while i had a friend that lived right next door it was so cozy i have this specific vivid memory of going over there and sitting on the couch with their older sibling i think it was and watch them play some shooter game. but it didn’t last long like thats the only memory i have