#i swear this happens every time im in a strange phase of my life and have a lot of cleaning/rearranging to do

[allthatdivides2]

if you see me listening to the finale of taz balance again not you didnt. leave me and my strange mental crises alone

[wallflowerimagines]

Hi! I looove your posts! Thank you so much for sharing your writing!

I was wondering… could you maybe write about the Four Lords with a shy S/O that gets bold and defensive when someone insults the lords? or calls them names? And the Lord’s reaction to the S/O acting different? Dk if im explaining myself >.<

Again! Love your work! Have a great day!

We stan protective partners on this blog!!

Warnings: uh...insults? They're pretty over the top😅 Also swearing.

Alcina Dimitrescu

Honestly, Alcina is more than able to defend herself.

She's got a tongue like a viper, and the thickest skin imaginable. If you really want to hurt her feelings, you have to be someone whom she already respects to a certain degree, or she won't even be phased.

Still, when she leaves a room, there's always some idiot that thinks it's a smart idea to talk shit.

Maybe it's a maid, maybe it's a guest in the Castle, but either way you're not having it.

"God, you're annoying." There was a pause before they opened their mouth again, and you rolled your eyes. "No please, by all means, continue to share your lack of taste with the rest of us."

You disassemble this dumbass, starting small with comments about their personality (trying to keep it classy), but escalating the more they choose to double down on the comments.

Alcina comes back into the room to find you practically screaming at this asshole.

"Look, all you have accomplished here today is revealing that you are a fundamental disappointment on every possible level. My life is worse now that I've heard you open your mouth, you disrespectful, shit licking worm fucker."

Alcina is stunned. You do not give off "aggressive guard dog" vibes at all, yet here you are defending her tooth and nail. While she had seen brief moments of your inner strength and protective streak (mostly towards her daughters) she just...never thought you would do the same for her.

It's not because she doesn't trust you or love you! But nobody has ever done something like this for her before? Ever? She's never had anyone try to protect her--not physically, and not even verbally. She's been so independent for so long that it's... Strange to see you support her so openly.

She doesn't need you to do this for her, she doesn't even expect it, but you do it anyway for no other reason than the fact that you love her. You want people to give her the respect she deserves.

I'm going to be real here: Alcina has never been closer to swooning before in her life. You're overcoming your shyness because you believe in her so much-- it's not a gesture meant to be romantic, but Alcina can't help but see this as a massive statement of your commitment to her.

Seriously. This is such a massive thing for her that if proposals weren't already on her mind, she is mentally picking out a ring for you the minute this happens.

Then, of course, she glides into the room, kisses you until you're breathless and babbling, and smirks at the unfortunate peon who thought they could get away with insulting House Dimitrescu.

She's in such a good mood that she's considering going easy on the idiot. Maybe removing their tongue would be enough of a warning?

Donna Dimitrescu

You don't really know how it's possible but apparently some people don't like Donna Beneviento? Some people think she's scary and unpleasant????

Wild. Can't imagine what that's like.

The two of you are honestly the sweetest, most toothrottingly adorable couple-- blushing when you hold each other's hands, sneaking glances at each other across rooms, giving each other kisses and forgetting whatever was on your mind...

Honestly, anybody who's critical of your relationship with your girlfriend is just a hater. Fuckers can pound sand😤

Still, you are pretty shy, so it takes a lot for you to defend yourself if someone comments about you. It can take a lot of courage to stand up against rude remarks, and sometimes it's easier to walk away.

Defending Donna, on the other hand?

The minute someone even thinks about dismissing her, you are ready to throw hands.

"My lovely girlfriend already said no, meaning you're either deaf or too stupid to pick up on simple social cues," you purse your lips and give the rude and pushy Villager a patronizing once over. "You and your opinion are equally useless. Get the fuck away from us."

Donna blinks.

She... Was not expecting this??? At all?? You're so nice! You always tell her about your attempts to avoid confrontation! What's going on??? How did you get the guts to say what she's always wanted to say?

Meanwhile, Angie is LIVING.

The little doll chimes in to assist you with the verbal homicide, working as a tag team to absolutely murder this moron. She's half partner, half hype man, and is so excited to do this with you. Normally, she has to protect Donna all by herself, but she's relieved and reassured that you stepped in first.

'USELESS IS TOO NICE, THOUGH! THAT IMPLIES THEY AREN'T A POINTLESS, RANCID, LONELY FREAK. THEY LOOK LIKE THEY CRY WHEN THEY MASTURBATE.'

You high five Angie, still glaring daggers at the unfortunate villager.

The two of you continue to ream into the villager, while Donna hovers nearby.

As surprised as she is, she's also grateful. She's only really ever had Angie to help shield her from insults and disrespect (and occasionally inducing horrifying hallucinations that make people claw off their own skin), but having you in her corner makes her feel safe.

Not to get totally sappy, but you're like her knight in shining armor in a lot of ways. And the fact you two are so similar is really motivating-- She wants to one day be confident enough to return the favor. Until then, she's happy to watch her two favorite people have fun insulting some stranger ❤️

Salvatore Moreau

With you being so shy, Salvatore is surprised how often he takes the lead in your relationship.

He's not normally all that outgoing, but you seem to bring out a side of him that's very protective. Whenever you have a bad day he wants to bundle you up and keep you safe from the world.

If he so much as holds your hand you start stuttering and avert your gaze. It creates a feedback loop where you both get flustered, but Moreau has never felt steadier. Despite your shyness, you make sure he knows how much you love him.

You're sweet as pie and twice as kind--Salvatore is the luckiest man in the world, nobody can convince him otherwise 💕💕

So it comes as a total shock that when a passing fisherman spits in your path and calls him a freak, your entire demeanor does a 180.

Your posture straightens and you look the villager dead in the eye, "I don't believe anyone asked your opinion."

Salvatore: 😳

This is not the time, and he totally knows it, but, uh, something about your tone??? Really does it for him???

While he's attempting to process why exactly he's starting to short circuit, you proceed to verbally shred this person to bits with clinical efficiency-- nothing is off limits.

They might try to defend themselves, but it's useless. You do not let up.

"Ugly? Monster? Bitch your teeth are throwing gang signs, don't throw stones from your shining glass house."

You insult their appearance, what they're holding, their smell-- you get so fucking mean that you might even make them cry.

Moreau is just lost right now, trying hard to figure out how exactly you were able to gain all of this confidence so quickly.

He's not upset! In fact he's very flattered! But, he also doesn't want you to get into a fight with some unimportant stranger. (After all, if they so much as throw a punch, they're straight up dead. Moreau is a patient man, but he's not that patient. You do not hurt his partner and live to tell the tale.)

He may a healer but...

Eventually he steps between you and the fisherman in an attempt to deescalate the situation, but you just kiss him on the cheek and step around him, determined to make your point.

Blushing hard, Moreau lets you do what you want. What can he say? Fish man likes himself a protective partner 💞

Karl Heisenberg

Magnet Man is not the most social guy to begin with, so any opportunities you have to stick up for him are already pretty slim.

He mostly knows you as the shy, sweet, easily flustered partner that lets out a cute squeak every time he sneaks up to hug you from behind.

Karl's honestly happy just to spend time with you all alone in the Factory. It's not the best or healthiest mindset, but he'd be perfectly content to only ever see you for the rest of his life. Spending time with anybody else feels like a boring waste in comparison.

But occasionally, you do head out into town with him. Heisenberg wants you to be safe so he doesn't do it often, but running errands with you is a weakness of his. It's domestic in a way that he's never experienced before.

He likes it ❤️

What he does not like is the shopkeeper starting to give their opinions on the quality of your relationship with him.

Most insults Karl will let slide because he doesn't particularly care. However if anyone makes a comment on how scared (shy) you look around him, how you must be being threatened into being with him, how poorly Lord Heisenberg is treating you...he won't stand for it.

But before his fingers can even twitch towards his hammer, you snap.

"You're clearly the blindest cocksucker I've ever met--so wipe the cum out of eyes and mind your own fucking business."

Karl does a double take.

He's heard you curse before, but quietly. The words coming out of your mouth are WILD right now, he has NEVER seen you so angry. You're defending him with the aggression of a wild animal, and it's simultaneously HILARIOUS, but for some reason he's also getting a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest?

He doesn't need you to protect him like this, but seeing you blatantly argue how much you love and cherish him in public reassures him in a way he didn't know he needed.

Still, hearing you call the shopkeeper "shit for brains" is the funniest thing that's happened in years.

Heisenberg starts laughing, and the more you shout at the idiot, the harder he laughs. Is it weird how hard he wants to kiss you right now?

Eventually, he just has to drag you away, cackling as you continue to shout insults at the unfortunate shopkeep. There's got to be an alley around here for some good old fashioned privacy 💕

[zodiyack]

Siren Seduction; Alternate Story

Kind of Requested?:  captivatedbycillianmurphy said: I’m actually a professional mermaid, it would be cool if you wrote a story about Tommy finding me by accident “in tail !” LOL🤣🧜🏻‍♀️ Siren Seduction !

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x reader

Warnings: swearing, mermaids, mention of death, sexual/smutty mentions and reference(s), nudity (FOR MERMAID REASONS), slight angst, fluff

Note: The note for these two stories is on the first one, found here. Also, my apologies for the random ending, I tried to make it go with the title. Sorry if it doesn’t make sense, it’s all I could think of.

Y/f/b/g = Your Favorite Baked Good

masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist

Y/n L/n was an elegant and formal lady to say the least. She married Tommy and took his son into her life like it was nothing. She treated Charlie with love and motherhood, as if he was her own. She loved Tommy with all of her heart, her marriage to him meaning the world to her. Y/n was not one to break a promise nor the vows of her wed. Tommy was the same, his vows becoming important to him when he discovered his fiancé happily playing with her soon-to-be stepson.

After the wedding, he found that his wife strayed away from contact with water, and preferred wearing a large coat if she were to be around it. Anything to prevent her from getting wet. When the rain was falling, she asked that she be the one to hold the umbrella, so that it was sure to cover any part of her body that was showing any amount of skin.

It isn’t strange to have Aquaphobia, or at least to behave in a way that makes people think you do, but it was strange to act such a way yet enjoy being at the beach or around where water made home. Y/n hated the thought of getting her skin even the least bit wet, but she loved visiting the places having to do with the liquid. Why? No one knew, but it did intrigue them.

Currently, she lied on the sofa with a blanket and book in hand. Charlie was with Tommy and they were expected to be home soon. It didn’t bother her when they left, as it gave her some time with herself. She normally took care of the young Shelby when Tommy was out, and it filled her with joy, but she did need alone time every once in awhile. She had a lot of reading that she was excited to catch up on.

John and Arthur accompanied Tommy and Charlie with their visit to a bakery. There was a promise Tommy made to Charlie every time they were in town. “Behave yourself and you can pick out something for you and mummy.” So that’s what he did. Charlie often picked y/f/b/g for Y/n and a fresh cookie for himself.

As her fingers brushed over the page, she thought of the water, the beautiful and relaxing sound it made when leaving the faucet in the kitchen, or the peaceful splashes that came from droplets of rain from the sky, the waves of the ocean too! It made a glorious sound when it hit the shore. It was Y/n’s true home, and she had been away for so long.

Unknown to the Shelby family, or really anyone that was a pure mortal, Y/n was a mermaid. She was born to the creatures, and still was one. Like the others, she had the ability to transform herself to human on land. The price of which, was that she would shift back into her true form if she were to get wet. She could switch back, but that would require her to be dry again.

It needed an awful lot of cautiousness. She couldn’t be in the kitchen, or really anywhere that would cause her exposure to liquids. Of course, Bodily fluids and Charlie’s slobber/drool was an exception. By now, Tommy and her were not new to the bedroom. When they had first done the deed, it came as a surprise to her that she didn’t shift forms during said session. She ended up making it clear to her husband that she would do anything with him as long as it didn’t involve a form of liquid that didn’t come from their bodies.

How she bathed was another question. Y/n refused to do anything with Tommy involving the bathroom or tub, her rule specifying that. Maids were turned down when they offered to help. She didn’t bathe Charlie, instead asking Ada to do it, and she never washed her hands in front of others. So how was she taking care of her hygiene? Easy; she did take baths, but they were short due to her only needing to wash her upper-body. She used the extra time to dry off, so it only seemed like she took a long relaxing bath by herself to release the stress of the day.

Now she was at home and alone. No one could ask where she had went. No one could walk in on her with a tail. But still, she wouldn’t be prepared if her husband or one of her in-laws walked in. The only place, would be to go home. To the sea. Of course there would be a few people there, it was a good day, but Y/n knew a secluded part that only the Shelby family visited.

She asked a taxi-driver to bring her to the beach as fast as she could. He knew of her Shelby name, and he knew not to upset her or her family. Of course he didn’t take into thought that her husband might dislike her leaving her home while he had people ready to kill him and his loved ones. So, as she expected, he followed her orders and sped off to the sandy terrain.

They conversed a little on the drive. Y/n didn’t pay much attention to the driver. He seemed really interested in keeping her amused, however it didn’t amuse nor have any affect on Y/n’s thinking. She was too busy focusing on getting to the beach.

“Keep going, there’s a drop off spot. Please do not follow me, and do not wait for me.” Y/n adjusted her sleeve, not phased by the fact that she sounded suspicious.

“Yes ma’am. If I am to come upon your husband, shall I tell ‘im where you are?” 

“No, that will not be necessary.” The car halted to a stop. The man was about to rush to the other side and let Y/n out, but she was already smoothing her hands down her dress and reaching to open the door. “James is it? Well thank you, I ask that you do not come back to this location unless I am in the car and asking you to take me here. Understood?”

“Yes Mrs. Shelby.” He opened his hand and accepted the change, mumbling, “And it’s Henry...” as she left his line of sight.

She walked down the path, taking off her gloves and shoes to walk among the soft and warm sand. The wind felt wonderful in her hair. She continued walking, she was on the part she had thought about. Her hands relieved her of her dress, now nude in the empty area. The tip of her big toe touched the water, and her legs started turning into scales.

She had never felt so alive. Held up on land for about 3 years, it was so refreshing to be back in her natural environment. When her legs became connected she fell into the water and swam forward. She kept swimming. It felt like hours had gone by when she finally returned to the surface.

Little did she know, Tommy, Charlie, John and Arthur thought it would be a nice day to go to the beach, suggestion of Charles Shelby. When Tommy found his wife’s clothing, he assumed only the worst and sent his brothers into rowboats to search the water as much as they could. Charlie and him were walking along the shore, Tommy reassuring Charlie so that he wouldn’t get worried or start crying for his mother.

Anger filled Tommy when his brothers quickly rowed back. He couldn’t hear them shouting with awe and disbelief. They had found Y/n because she was swimming back, the bottom of her beautiful green and sunset-like colored tail came out of the water slightly when she swam past them. She didn’t see them, but they saw her.

They beat her back to the shore and pulled their boats with them.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doin’ eh?” Tommy was still furious. His first wife had died, and now this. Now his brothers just suddenly didn’t care for him or his lover. “My wife is out there! Get off ya lazy asses, and search for her!”

“Tommy!” John was out of breath, leaning over and panting like his older brother. “We found her.”

“Actually, she found us.” Arthur finally caught his and told his brother of the strange sighting. “She had a bloody tail. Have we gone mad?”

“I think you might’ve. There’s no way my wife, who has fuckin’ legs, had a tail and just,” He made a motion with his hand, “zoomed on past ya.”

The men were still arguing. It bored Charlie. And a great amount. He started looking around, practically begging for something actually cool to happen.

“Look!”

All three brother’s attention was on Charlie now. He was pointing to the ocean, where a tail poked out.

“See, we aren’t mad, are we John?”

“No. No, I don’t think so Arthur.”

“Look Tommy, ya son found his mum.”

The tail went back underwater and was replaced with Y/n’s head, her body following. The Shelby brothers took a second, all three with slacked jaws and wide eyes. Thomas caught himself first, noticing the situation.

“Cover your damn eyes. That’s my wife, and she’s obviously missing some coverage.” Tommy handed Charlie to his uncles, scoffing at his brother’s behaviors. “Hand me her dress. And that blanket while you’re at it.”

He rushed to his wife, both cloths in hand. She made a confused face at her husband, but let him wrap the blanket around her anyways. Tommy picked her up bridal style and held her close to him. She could feel his heart beat, as well as his shaking arms.

The secret was out.

Tommy shooed his brothers out of the way and set his wife down. He took the end of the blanket and wiped down her tail, making sure to be extra careful. No words were spoken until Y/n broke the silence.

“Tommy?”

He made a humming sound, letting her know he was listening.

“Do you not love me anymore? Since you know now?”

Thomas continued drying off her body, standing in front of her and reaching in a hug-like motion to rub her back dry. He turned the blanket quickly so that he could dry off her front-side, then her arms. After a little bit, her tail turned into her human legs. It caused her other human bits to be more exposed. Luckily, Tommy was quick to pull her dress over her body and sit her upright.

She put her hand on his shoulder. His eyes glanced up to hers and he smiled softly. Tommy pressed a kiss to Y/n’s lips, passion and relief filled both of their minds.

“No my love, I could never stop loving you. May I ask why you never told me?”

“I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“That you would think a freak of me, or that you would divorce me and say you no longer loved me.”

“Ah...” He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, “I could never think that of you. And as I said, I could never stop loving you.” Sensing that she was still doubting, he spoke one of his many thoughts of the subject. “You go nude into the water, yes?” She nodded. “Well your unintentional Siren Seduction must be dealt with at home and as soon as possible.”

The nervous tension turned sexual with his suggestive comment. And they weren’t the only ones to notice that. Laughter broke out among the adults.

“Tommy! For god sakes! Can you two keep it in your pants until you’re alone? Especially with Charlie here!” Charlie was too busy giggling at the water to notice anything. The couple and brothers, however, were startled by the comment.

“Jesus Christ! Where’d you come from Pol?”

[boywivlove]

| Please Don't Go |

Kim Seokjin x Reader 

Summary | You and were partners in the Police force, and soon became romantic with each other. After investigating a murder you are gunned down during an on foot pursuit. Not knowing if you will pull through, Jin stays by your side in the hospital, not knowing if he will ever get an answer to questions left unsaid.

Warnings | swearing , blood, descriptions of violence, fatal injuries. 

AN | This is my fic for the `April Showers Bring May Flowers` collaboration with @bangtanscenery​ I hope you enjoy it! I based the concept on the song `Please Don't Go` by Joel Adams listen to it if you can its a great song <3 Please enjoy and lemme know what you think!!

There was no doubt in your mind that joining the Seoul Police Force was the job for you. You had always been set on becoming a cop like your father, he was the greatest man you knew, and when he died on duty, you made a promise to yourself you would become a great cop. After months of hard work, you graduated from the police academy, finally reaching your dream. 

Your partner, Kim Seokjin, had graduated from the academy four years before you, and you hung to his every word as he showed you the ropes. Jin was a great partner, his arrest record was one of the highest in the precinct, and his face wasn't bad to look at either. He was professional as he could be with his work, but he had a jovial charm that made him approachable. He always had a cheesy dad joke ready for when you would see each other at the office, and each time, he would crack you up. The best thing about your friendship is the nickname he gave you, sunflower, he knew you loved the colour yellow, and You guess it just stuck. Every greeting to you was followed with `Sunflower`

`Good morning Sunflower`

`Gloomy weather we're having Sunflower`

`Coffee?  Sunflower`

You never caught on, but Jin was starting to fall for you, outside of work when the district officers would go for drinks or a meal, Jin always sat next to you, banter was always exchanged and aside from work you had a great deal in common. He wanted to keep it professional, he knew how distracting office relationships were, but it happened, he fell for you. He fought off his feelings for as long as he could, but seeing your smiling face greet him everyday at work got him. 

He didn't even know if you felt the same, you never hinted that  you wanted anything more than friendship from him, and on several occasions, you voiced how you couldn't see how office romances work out, either romantically or professionally. Jin had to agree, especially in the police force, there was too much to factor in, but he threw caution to the wind.

Jin had turned up at your apartment at 10pm, which you immediately thought was strange, social calls at night were not usually Jin's thing. But as you greeted your friend you were surprised by the bouquet of sunflowers, and his out of breath ramblings to you

` if I don't try, I'll never know… I don't know if this will work with us, but, i want to try…`

And the rest was history.  Two years later and you and Jin were still going strong, 

To say you were stressed is an overstatement. You haven't eaten all day, working on this case was the most important task in your eyes. Jungkook had to eventually drag you from your desk and take you out to a diner to your objection, only relenting when it was agreed to bring your paperwork along. The whole force was still grieving and doing their best. But you felt a personal grievance in this particular case. It had all started a few weeks ago, There had been a string of murders in the area, and the police were on the hunt for a suspected serial killer. It seemed the suspects M.O was targeted at doctors, nurses and emergency responders. Whoever this killer was, it seemed he had not planned these murders, all spur of the moments, possibly driven by a grievance, feeling wronged in some way by the people working in medical care. This killer had the same method of killing, gunning their victim down in a moment of opportunity, but after they had killed the victim, the killer gave one more bullet, an execution style shot to the head. 

The personal connection she had in this case was felt by the whole force. The murderer had changed his M.O, and gunned down a police officer who was working the case. Officer Kim Taehyung graduated from the academy with you and a few other officers on the squad.You had been close with Taehyung, you introduced him to his wife Seol, and he had teased you about Jin's sunflower nickname for you. He was a great cop, and a great husband. He and Seol had just welcomed their first child, a little boy, Kim Sung Jae. Now, Tehyung will never see his son grow up, and Sung Jae will never get to know his father. Your heart broke for the boy, as you yourself know what it's like to grow up without your father. 

You and Jungkook had spent hours at the diner, and the paperwork was finally done, now you were nursing a coffee when Jungkook decided to ask about Jin, honestly since taehyung's death, you'd barely seen him, he and Namjoon had been moved to the night shift weeks prior to work on different cases and fill out paperwork, and with you and Jungkook on day shift, you barely get time with him. You knew he had not been sleeping well either, he and Taehyung had gotten close after you had both started dating, and he had taken his sudden death just as badly as you had. 

“ Im sorry for your  loss Y/n, I didn't know Taehyung that well, but he was a great officer.”

“Yeah, I just hate that he will never see Sung Jae grow up, I know what it's like to lose your father in duty…”

You sighed and sipped on the now cold coffee, it was just as sad and bitter like this whole situation. Lost in thought you didn't register Jungkook taking your hand in his, a firm grip reassuring you slightly.

“We will catch this guy Y/N,” 

The way Jungkook said it with such conviction moved you, he was a good kid. Jungkook was  one of the youngest officers on the squad, and to you he became something like a younger brother

.“I know we will, we have to.”

With the paperwork done and the coffee now ice cold, you and Jungkook left the diner and headed to your squad car, you wondered how Jin was holding up. You didn't want to make an issue out of nothing, but recently, Jin was acting odd. The grief and working late was one thing, but it was like he was trying to hide something from you, and it made you slightly worry.

You find yourself coming out thinking about him, you barely registered Jungkook pulling you down behind the passenger side door as the window shattered into pieces falling onto you both. 

You snapped out of your inner thoughts, another loud noise making its way into your ears. A gunshot. Jungkook radios for backup as he notes that shots have been fired in the area, you look towards the back street of the diner, seeing a shadowy figure with its gun pointed at you, and as you draw your gun your partner lets out a shot of his own. The shadowy figure doesn't seem phased and lets off another round of shots towards you both before his gun clicks, signally it's empty. You see the figure make a run for it towards the main street. You were sure, more sure than anything in your career as a cop, that this was the guy you were looking for. The guy who killed Taehyung. Not wanting to let him get away, you and Jungkook speed off after the culprit, radioing once again to update the situation. 

“ This is officer Jeon, requesting back up….shots fired …..were in pursuit of the culprit approximately  five foot male grey hoodie, black jeans…”

You ran ahead of Jungkook, ramming through pedestrians and across the busy roads, he was not about to get away, not after all the pain he's caused people. You see him duck into an alleyway and you quickly run after him, your gun aimed and ready to shoot should he not surrender peacefully. Your eyes were looking over every little detail, the alley led out to the back streets  of the high street, he couldn't have run straight though, the alley being lengthy and blocked by rather large dumpsters. You cautiously made your way forward. You could hear your rapid pulse in your head, every beat getting louder and louder. You scanned ahead and while making your way forward, you heard it, the sound of a can being kicked across the floor. Coming from behind you. 

You turned quickly and then you felt something heavy connect with the side of your head. Your vision flashed with white as you fell disoriented to the ground, The perp had hit you with a brick, the corner covered in blood as he dropped it to the ground, you could feel the warm sticky liquid start to run down your head and seep into the collar of your shirt. You could see double, the alleyway swaying as the perp made his way to where you had dropped to the floor. You felt the wind go out of your lungs as he landed a sharp kick to your stomach. The pain and the force of the kick only seemed to magnify the harsh vibrations your head wound was giving you. You tried to reach for your gun, which had dropped after the blow to your head, but the perp was faster. He seemed to toy with the idea of what to do, looking at the gun with his head tilted to the side.

 You had never felt this scared in your whole career. Risking your life was just a part of the job, but the pain you felt was frightening. You felt as though you were staring into the abyss when he looked you in the eyes. His black orbs seemed to stare through to your core, seeing every part off you, and when he registered your fear. He didn't even seem to relish it as you thought he would. If you weren't so disoriented, you would think that maybe this was why he killed his victims with a shot to the head, simple and quick. This was rushed and sloppy for him. A shot rang out. The warm feeling in the side of your head had spread to your abdomen. Looking down, you see the pool of red that surrounds you, the metallic taste in your mouth was stronger, it was getting harder and harder for you to breathe. you stay awake just long enough to see the perp aim his gun at someone making their way into the alley.

Jungkook, finally caught up with you, let out three gunshots, killing the perp on the shot. The commotion from the main streets starting to zone in on the gunshots, Jungkook rushes to check you over, your pulse faint, and your skin cold to the touch. His jacket is pressed into your stomach, trying to stem the blood that was covering you from the waist down. You could faintly hear him screaming at the radio com for the EMTs to get here. 

Four weeks, it had been four weeks since Jin's whole world stopped. He hadn't slept, shaved, or had a decent meal in two weeks. How could he? He was almost certain his heart had stopped beating the moment he got the news.

 He had been making his way to work when he got the call, the captain, he had been vague, asking him to come to the hospital, but he knew, he knew it had something to do with you. He hadn't heard from you all day. But recently, that was the norm. This case had everyone on edge and overtime was greatly needed. The only time Jin saw you that wasn't in passing was when you were heading out and he was coming home, and vice versa. He had also been avoiding you for a reason. He didn't want you to find out during all this, he had wanted to wait for the right moment, not wanting to spring this on you on top of grieving and working overtime. Jin had met Jungkook at the reception, his shirt was stained red, his usual black work blazer was missing from his usual attire, he knew. Jin knew the moment he was Jungkook that something bad had happened to you. 

“Doctor please. How is she!? Is she alright? No one will say anything to me…”  He was desperate to know, but Jungkook was silent, his face seemed to be like marble, threatening to crack.

The doctors eventually got Jin alone, away from the busy hallways of the intensive care unit. Jin felt his whole world crash, his sun dropping from the sky like a led balloon.

“The shots perforated her stomach and penetrated the large and smaller intestines… we resected what we could… but the damage was severe…her head injury had caused slight swelling on the brain and has caused her to enter a comatose state...mr Kim… I'll be frank. With this amount of damage...there's a slim chance of her pulling through..but..”

“But what…”

“You might want to get in contact with her family, let them know she may not wake up”

He made his way to his destination, the light from the early sunset had illuminated the hall in a warm amber glow, he bathed in its warmth for a moment, the feeling of the sun on his skin felt like a hug from you. 

The soft, yellow, warmth. It was you. 

He came to the same place he'd been coming to for weeks, the flowers he had placed days ago had wilted, the petals dry and falling to the floor. 

Sunflowers. Your favourite. 

He replaced the dead flowers with new freshly cut ones, disposing of the old ones in the waste bin.  Jin then sat down and looked out of the window. The same soft amber glow from the hallway had made its way inside the room.

His mind replayed the moment he first walked into this room. The hurt and anguish still stained on his memory.

You had looked so broken. Your pale skin, the needles that stuck out of you from the I.V, the bandages. It was so hard for Jin not to break down right there on the floor. 

It had been four weeks since you were brought to the intensive care unit. And Jin had been given leave to get himself together while you tried to pull through. You had stabilised, but you still remained in the coma. Jin had to take that with a grain of salt. You were fighting, and that's all he asked for. There was so much he still wanted to say to you. So many moments you and he had yet to go though. Jin had to hold onto those yet to be moments, as a reminder everyday that you were fighting to come back to him. 

“Hey sunflower, I brought you some more, the last ones had started to wilt again, I got you a bigger bouquet this time, thought i'd make up for how fast you go through them…”

Jin sat beside you, his hand takes yours in his, stroking your knuckles slowly. He brought your hand up to his face as he traced kisses over each knuckle, and then your palm. He would give anything to hold you properly. He would give anything to see your beautiful eyes shine in the light again. His breathing hitched as he trained himself not to cry.

“Love, I know you're fighting, and I know you can hear me. But I need you to fight more. I have so much I have to say to you. I should have asked you a year ago when I bought this, but I could never find the perfect moment.”

Jin looked to the bedside table, the velvet box sat next to the sunflowers, and he kissed your fingers one by one. 

“I promise, I will ask you the moment you wake up. Just come back to me Y/N, please.”

“Please don't go.”

[musedblues]

Always Something There To Remind Me [Part: 4]

summary: Home is where the heart is. You’re working on finding yours. After a handful of misfortunes, your old friend Joe helps to unravel life’s greatest mystery while adding a bit of extra grief to the mix.

warnings: Some fun, a little angst, and a whole lot of mixed feeling!

w/c: 6k

a/n: We’ve reached the halfway mark of this story! I hope you enjoy this update. Let me know what you think, lovies!

​taglist: @im-an-adult-ish​ @mrsmazzello​ @lettinggosthehardestpart​ @the-moving-finger-writes​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​

Part 5

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

The spring was blossoming to life and after your fair share of sulking, you went on the hunt for a job. Funeral expenses and travel had cleaned out your account, and you needed income. In the local mall, you scored part-time at a tiny flower shop. A lovely couple of old men owned the place and handled deliveries, insisting your only job was to sit behind the register and wait for customers to buy something.

There were plenty of shoppers, but even more spare time to listen to podcasts and text Tegan. You were in the middle of sending your friend photos of the floral arrangement one of your bosses let you mess around with over lunch break, when a familiar voice floated past your counter.

“Oh my God!”

Lacy Duval was standing in front of you with a strangely excitable grin and a perfect ponytail flowing from underneath a Yankees ballcap. Oh my God was right.

“Hello, Lacy.” You gave her a cagey smile. There was no reason not to be polite, but something about the girl really got under your skin.

“I saw you here on my way to Urban Outfitters and I couldn’t not say hello.” The girl was pretty. It almost blinded you to look right at her. But she’d taken to leaning against the counter to shove her smile in your face.

“Well, hello.” You offered once more. “Please, don’t let me get in the way of your shopping.” You nearly plead, glancing past her, willing another customer to show up.

“Oh, no I work at Urban. I totally don’t mind clocking in a few minutes late.” Lacy giggled like this was some kind of big, secret, inside joke. You only let out a very nervous chuckle, afraid if you opened your mouth again you would be a little too rude. Lacy leaned against your register for five solid minutes, gabbing on about the mall and the people she worked with and how she’d never see you here before.  All while looking over her shoulder and around yours, like she had somewhere better to be. That’s what stopped you from dropping your guard and actually listening to what Lacy had to drone on about.

She left with a reluctant sigh and you wondered how she justified talking to you for so long with absolutely nothing to say. You shook it off in a hurry, going back to your texts with Tegan and selling a few promposal bouquets near the end of your shift.

Except after then, something horrific happened. For the next two weeks, Lacy kept coming in to say hello. Every. Single. Day. She even learned your schedule and made a habit of stopping in to greet you before her shifts across the mall started. And for a while, you didn’t totally mind the tradition. She kept it up so long, with a pleasant smile. She must have really wanted to talk to you, right? But by her fifth visit, her all too obvious intentions were finally brought to light.

“So how’s Joe, then?” Lacy kept her smile wide and her eyes glued on yours.

“Oh, you know, some kind of superstar.” You half-joked, almost through your teeth. Joe was off with his castmates, winning awards and attending red carpet parties. You couldn’t have been happier for him. He deserved a bit of fun after the winter was so cruel. You just didn’t like that Lacy was asking.

“He’s always been popular but he’s properly famous now, isn’t he?” Lacy pointed out, giddy. “Every time I post a photo with him I swear I gain at least a hundred more followers!” She practically swooned.

It took every ounce of your strength not to throw your head back and groan out loud. Yeah, he was an actor. Yeah, he was good- and recognized for it. You’d had this conversation more times with more people than you ever really realized was possible.  And if ever he dared mention your old pal, Kris always referred to Joe as “that famous friend of yours.” Was Joe’s celebrity really all that mattered to anyone? What about his favorite Chinese food, or his theory about the end of Easy Rider? He was a motherfucking person.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get much worse, it got so much worse.

You had just closed up shop, paying no mind to the last-minute mall rats who still bustled around the other open storefronts. Before you could make your way too far past the flower shop, someone tapped you on the shoulder.

It was Joe, who proceeded to wrap you in a big hug the moment you registered his surprise presence.

He was gone for what felt like longer than ever before, but he looked way more happy to see you now, than the last time you reunited. You threw your arms around his shoulders and he lifted you off the ground for a moment, exchanging merry hello’s.

“Alright, alright! We have a guest.” Joe set you back on your feet, gesturing to a very tall and happy looking fellow you recognized from many photos.

“Gwilym.” You proudly smiled up to him, confirming you knew of him well enough to be happy to see him here now. 

“Y/n!” He pointed at you, as if this meeting were a long time coming.

Joe went on to explain how Gwilym had been staying with him the past couple of days after all the press tours and premiers were over. And how they drove all the way back here to Joe’s measly hometown because his mother insisted they both stop over for brunch, so she could get the chance to see Joe’s friend. Apparently, she adored Gwilym. You could see why, even just having met the guy, he oozed a certain gentle charm.

Joe knew to find you here at the mall, because you’d kept up your promise of sending the occasional text message update when something more than mundane happened in each of your lives. You listened to him and Gwilym yammer on about how exciting the past couple of months had been for them, taking a beat to notice how good Joe looked. There was a light in his eyes you hadn’t seen since you’d been back in the states.

And then you saw her. Lacy was leaving her shift down the way. You watched her realize just exactly who was talking to you, stop, and turn in a very big hurry in your direction.

“Joey!” She shrieked, rushing up to your best friend. Gwilym was practically shoved aside by the girl on her mission to invade Joe’s personal space. What was even more unsettling was how Joe seemed glad to see her. He pulled her into a friendly embrace that she squealed during. Even though you and Gwilym had just met, the two of you shared a befuddled expression trying to reason why you’d both been left on the sidelines all of a sudden.

Even when Joe pointed to Gwilym, introducing the strangers to each other, Lacey didn’t dare turn her gaze from Joe. She didn’t miss a beat as she went on saying;

“I’m so glad you’re here! So listen, my sisters are throwing this big party and I promised them I’d get you to come. I wanna show you off!” Lacy swayed in place, looking up to Joe through her fake lashes.

“Oh, wow uh sure, when is it?” Joe smiled, pulling his phone from his pocket as you crossed your arms, realizing you were invisible to her now. Lacy gave Joe the details and had the nerve to sweep her eyes over you as she skipped away. What the fuck? She’d spent all month popping in to “say hello” to little old you, but now that Joe was around you’d become irrelevant. She was only trying to get to Joe and you knew it all along, but you were still fuming at her disregard for you during the past couple minutes.

“That was weird.” Joe realized with a shrug, watching Lacy walk away. You knew if you responded you’d only blow a gasket, and luckily Joe was interested in moving on. Gwilym stood watching on in near comical horror as Joe snapped everyone back to business.

“Alright, listen this is very important.” Joe grabbed your shoulders, wearing another hopeful grin. “I want you to come back and stay with us, this weekend. But the thing is you need to say yes right now, cause we’ve got to leave right now.” Joe nodded. You realized he was serious or he wouldn’t have tracked you down at the mall, with the excitable, dashing Gwilym in tow.

///

Gwilym was put to work charming the socks off your mother as Joe raced you up the stairs to help pack your bags. He was desperate to make it to some very specific pizza place before it closed for the night. You just laughed as he threw your clothes into an old JanSport, before stealing it from his grasp to finish packing your thing; full of mostly new clothes you splurged on with your first big paycheck. As you packed them to wear, you felt strangely like life was finally taking a turn for the better.

When you scurried back down the stairs, Gwilym had managed to make a cup of tea and was busy trading some recipe with your mother who was sad to see him go. Joe rushed the pair of you out the door and off onto an adventure.

Gwilym insisted you take the passenger seat on the way to the city and begged you to expose the depths of your Spotify playlist, from the back. The car ride was spent laughing about the musical phases you’d all gone through, and rocking out to the classics everyone loved.

“Hey, this is fun.” It hit you as you gazed at the cars zooming past the speed limit on either side of the freeway, and you didn’t feel usually dreadful. You let the comment slip out without thinking about it, without thinking of Gwilym in the back who might have wondered why you’d be shocked to find a road trip suddenly appealing.

But Joe knew, and he smiled as if to disguise a frown. He seemed to get this same strange look on his face when you even slightly alluded to your recent past.

“John told me what happened, why didn’t you?” Joe asked, quietly, worriedly.

Oh, yeah. Your car slid off the road last month.

“I didn’t want to make a big deal about it.” You shrugged, almost too much like a little kid. But you caught a glimpse of Gwilym in the back, pretending not to notice the shift in conversation. So you reached to turn the music up, and Joe reached for your hand.

Then you all declared this weekend was to be dedicated to nothing but having fun.

///

You made it to the city in time to hurry into Joe’s favorite pizza place an hour before closing, where you and Gwilym played the basic twenty questions of getting to know each other. And there was no stopping the way you each roasted Joe into oblivion, making him laugh all the while.

Joe’s apartment looked different than it had in all the photos you’d seen. The walls were decorated in old family photos and there were plenty of knickknacks you recognized from the years gone by, and some you didn’t. Stepping foot into his home felt strangely invasive, and you felt funny for wishing you’d been here more times than just this once.

You thought it was only natural that Gwilym took the only guest bedroom. The guy was one hundred feet tall, and you had no business taking up Joes spare California King. But Gwilym insisted the couch was just fine by him, and it was a big sofa after all. All of his bags seemed to be resting in an armchair nearby, anyhow. You couldn’t justify arguing, and soon you were shutting yourself into the spare room with sleep on your mind.

That was until rain pelted against the sealed window next to you, and you swore you saw a draft blew the blinds back. You cursed your hasty packing. You’d only grabbed an oversized tshirt instead of a sweater. After a moment of bringing your bare knees to your chest to get warm, desperate times called for desperate measures.

The apartment was dark, and Gwilym was peacefully sleeping on the L shaped sofa, borrowed knitted throw blankets decorated across his form. The glow from the streetlamp outside the kitchen window provided enough light for you to tiptoe toward Joe’s room, where soft yellow light seeped through the bottom of the door. Was he still up, too?

You knocked softly, in case he was asleep and your silly request wasn’t meant to matter. But you heard a shuffled from close beyond the door, and soon it creaked open.

“What’s up?” Joe asked, seemingly a little surprised to see you, but it was hard to read his face in the dim doorway.

“I just forgot a sweatshirt. Could I borrow one?” You asked sheepishly, folding your arms out of shyness and a bit of a chill.

“Yeah of course.” Joe breathed in sharply, turning on his feet toward his closet. The door creaked open further and you noticed Joe rub his eyes, before reaching to grab an old college sweatshirt. What was up with him tonight?

“Hey…” You cautiously began, slipping into the room and clicking the door shut. “Are you alright?” You padded toward your friend as he barely turned toward the sound of your voice.

“Uh,” Joe seemed to decide as he gently shoved his sweatshirt toward your grasp. You instinctively held it to your chest but dropped it the moment Joe turned away and started drifting toward his bed. Before he could totally answer your question he started to cry. The second you registered his snivels you darted toward where Joe stood quickly falling to piece. Then he began to explain himself.

“We said our goodbyes and everything, I shouldn’t still be so sad.” Joe croaked, covering his face with his hands so you couldn’t see his broken expression. But you felt the weight of his sadness stomp your heart out.

“You just miss him, Joe. It’s okay to miss him.” You missed his dad too, but saying so seemed selfish. Joe was still catching his breath under his hands as you pulled him toward his bed where the covers were already turned down.

You laid him down and wasted no time curling up next to him, pulling his head toward your shoulder. Joe sheepishly latched onto you while he steadied his breathing, and neither of you spoke. You just smoothed down his hair while he grabbed onto you. Joe was stronger than before.

“You are cold.” Joe noticed, chucking a little into your hair. But you sort of forgot your reason for coming in his room or the goosebumps that decorated your bare legs. You were completely comfortable in his arms. His embrace made you warmer than any sweatshirt ever could. You felt attached to him, but simultaneously cautious of the affection, you didn’t deserve this kind of all-encompassing comfort. Why was Joe’s embrace so much more multiplexed than it had been some odd years ago?

Joe was quiet, but the silence was heavy with whatever was on his mind. You could tell he wanted to say something more, but he never did. You lay together in understanding silence, trying to unravel your tangled thoughts about it all. But the effort made you tired and you drifted off there with Joe.

You woke up later, completely unsure of the time, but noticing the sun had yet to rise. Joe was still lying against you, now in peaceful sleep. You almost felt bad for squirming out from under him. You would hate to disrupt him, and his body was warm against yours. But you knew you couldn’t stay. Tiptoeing toward his door, you scooped up the previously abandoned college sweatshirt, squeezed through the door and back down the hall to the guest room. It was still cold, maybe even colder now.

///

Later that morning you awoke to a clattering from the kitchen. You slid some short on under Joe’s sweatshirt and ran your fingers through your hair before padding out of the guest room to discover what was happening.

Joe and Gwil were dressed for the day, drifting around the kitchen, arguing over something like an old married couple.

“Good morning mom and dad.” You snickered, grabbing your bottle of water from the night before, and watching Joe and his friend point to the oven. Joe shot you a look but turned his gaze back to Gwilym to finish the argument.

“If the fork comes out clean, it’s ready!” Joe pointed to the oven.

“Yeah, but you stuck it in the side, not the middle! You gotta go for the middle!” Gwilym argued. You took a sip of water and watched on in amusement. Had they really woken up and headed straight into baking something?

Joe turned to you, making some kind of whine as if pleading for you to help him prove his point. But Gwilym was right.

“He’s right.” You pointed your bottle toward Gwil who proudly sauntered behind the island to join you there.

“Ha!” Gwilym boasted.

“Ha? That’s the best you’ve got?” Joe playfully jabbed.

“It’s Welsh for ‘fuck off I’m right.’” Gwilym falsely reported, trying to save his comeback. Hey, that was good. You might steal that one. Joe laughed but looked at you with that same funny little micro-expression like he couldn’t choose between horror or sadness. But you couldn’t help go on smiling.

“You’re from there, right? Wales?” You moved your eyes toward Gwilym, who leaned against the counter toward you.

“Well no. Me mum is. I’m a fraud.” Gwil rose a brow and made you chuckle.

“Well, that’s a shame. We could have had our own secret language.” You gently admitted. Gwil kept a curious eye on you as he moved to sit next to you.

“You speak Welsh?” He asked, reaching for his cup of coffee across the island.

“I lived there for a while.” You shrugged.

“What the hell! Joe’s talked for ages about you but never mentioned that.” Gwilym cast a befuddled glance to Joe across the room.  Joe talked about you back when you weren’t talking to each other? He was occupying himself with putting a couple of dishes away. You couldn’t read his face when he stepped closer toward the opposite side of the island. Joe responded by lifting his phone in the air and snapping a photo of you and Gwilym in the middle of the morning lit kitchen.

“What was that for?” Gwilym laughed.

“Something to remember you by when the oven catches on fire because we left this damn dessert in too long.” Joe fanned his hands around. You laughed out loud, utterly delighted to be amidst the chaos. You’d missed this side of Joe. His wit and spunk had sort of all but fizzled out through the winter. It was nice to see he hadn’t lost his touch.

The photo he took was accidentally wonderful. The bright kitchen looked like heaven around you and Gwilym, sleepily leaning on the counter.

“I’ve got to post this! Or do you want too?” Gwilym asked, pointing to the picture on your phone. You had an Instagram but scarcely used the platform outside of admiring other people’s posts. Something about how excited Gwilym became and how pretty the picture was made you excited to open the old dusty application. You sent the photo to yourself and posted it to your Instagram without hesitation. It looked like the start of something new. The bright white photo stood out among the rest of your grainy theme, mostly filled with photos of you and Tegan from the pub in Wales. You tagged Gwilym and Joe.

///

That day became a game of sneaking candid photos of each other. You snuck up on each other as you strolled through the city streets and snapped shots of one another buying ice creams and looking in storefronts. But the game got out of hand. Gwilym took one photo of Joe when he was least expecting it, as he was standing on his tiptoes to reach for something in a candy store you’d fallen into the trap of. Gwilym decided it was blackmail, and then the game was on. You got a photo of Gwilym taking a massive bite of lunch and Joe got one of you making some dumb face as you had to wait in line to use the restroom.

All the while, you felt hyper aware of your surroundings and started to take more photos of stickers on light poles and titles of books that were far too expensive but probably cheaper on resale somewhere. You watched Joe open a picture book of old school baseball players. You couldn’t help but snap a shot of the way he held the book open upon the stack of others. His long fingers ghosting over the pages like a treasure. The sun casting patterns across the scene.

“What is happening to you?” Joe laughed at your newfound hobby.

“We’re having fun, remember? I am anyway.” You chuckled, raising your camera inches from his face to snap a photo and giving him a mischievous grin before you scurried away. Joe’s laughter followed you out of the shop and all around the city.

//

That night Joe hyped you and Gwilym up into getting a little dressed up and going to a bar after dinner. Luckily the newer purchases you packed included a nice enough dress. Then you ended up at a piano bar. Something stuttered in your heart when you noticed the excitement in Joe’s eye’s as they peered into yours. You hadn’t played the piano since you sold your keyboard a couple of years ago. You barely even thought of playing, actually. But Joe clearly had picked this place for a reason, with the knowledge that it had always been your dream.

The piano bar was complete with green naugahyde and mahogany wood, totally stuck out of time but still classy somehow. The crowd varied in age, and you were charmed to find a girl younger than you playing the baby grand on the risen velvet stage.

You, Joe and Gwil sat in the middle of the room, at a cozy table. You ordered dark drinks and listened to each other’s stories while other peoples chatter blurred into the background. Joe ordered something fruity with a straw and held it in front of you, insisting you try it. You took a sip and looked to your friend with wide eyes to confirm it was super good. Gwilym snapped a photo of the two of you then.

“Awe, see, that’s the opposite of blackmail!” You chuckled.

“Or is it?” Gwilym shot you a menacing grin as he stood to order a new drink at the bar. Before you could decode his secret message, a voice caught your attention.

A nice looking gentleman with a German accent tapped on the microphone at the front of the stage as your friend walked away.

“Tonight we are inviting you lovely crowd to come up and play if you know how, or even just want to. Don’t be shy, but do take turns!” The man encouraged, slinking off stage while waving for the crowd to get up and muck about.

“You should.” Joe leaned forward, speaking quietly just to you. His soft gaze made your heart crack a little. You weren’t about to do that. But you almost wanted to, just because of how excited he looked. Had he known this was going to happen? Or was he just dazzled by the hands of fate opening this random door?

“Oh, I don’t know.” You shrugged sitting up a little. Joe did the same, following your gaze. “I haven’t played uh… for a while.”

“Oh, really?” Joe frowned. You didn’t want to disappoint him. You knew he chose this place just for you. But you couldn’t lie.

“I sold my keyboard years ago.” You sorrily shrugged, recalling the time you had no other choice to pay rent. And realizing now that you never told Joe out of some kind of shame. You’d moved overseas with big plans to play, and they all crumbled around you.

“Oh…” Joe bit his lip and got that look in his eye that you realized he always got at the mention of Wales.

“Okay listen.” You turned to Joe, gently demanding his attention. You’d had enough wine to delve into this conversation. And you had finally become fed up with how Joe always seemed more upset that you at the mention of your past.

“Kris and I were like… broken up or something for like, months near the end. Things weren’t good. All I’m saying is that things with him were over before they ended for real. And I don’t miss him. I don’t. I know I should. That’s what keeps me up at night. But I don’t miss him. So please don’t look at me like I’ve lost everything.” You spoke, reaching out touch Joe’s arm. He uncrossed them and turned to face you then with an answer.

“What happened to your 'it’s okay to be sad’ speech from last night?” Joe furrowed his brow, speaking a little louder than you had been to get his point across. But you didn’t feel better for talking about this, like you thought you might.

“This-” You sighed a groan, wanting to suddenly move far away from this topic. “This is different. My life in Wales died when Kris did, okay?” You decided, getting a little angry at the end of your sentence. You wanted to move on. That’s when Gwilym reappeared, a new drink in hand.

“Should we… maybe call it a night?” The lean Brit suggested, glancing between you and Joe. Your friend looked like he had more to say, but you couldn’t go on talking about it all tonight.

“No!” You demanded. “Sit down right now so we can have fun!” You’d gotten your first taste of good times after fearing they’d never come again, and you weren’t ready to give them up.

“This place is beautiful and I’m glad you picked it out, Joe.” You looked to him sincerely and his once-troubled expression softened. You hadn’t realized you left your hand on his knee until his fingers rested on top of yours.

///

After a few rounds of drinks and jokes about things you missed laughing about, you found yourself locked away in Joe’s guest room for the second night in a row; comfy in the sweatshirt you once asked to borrow (now sort of taken hostage.) Your phone rang as you turned down the bed, and you answered right away.

“Helllooo!” Tegan chirped from the other line right away, like she’d been waiting on to hear from you for weeks on end.

“What have I missed this time?” You laughed, snuggling against a heap of pillows.

“Me! You’ve missed me. Actually, I suddenly feel like I’m the one missing out.” Tegan playfully scoffed on the other line.

“Well, of course, I miss you but what are you talking about?” You wondered. Tegan knew the only activities that filled your days were sleeping, working and occasionally seeing Joe.

“I’m talking about the dreamboat in your Instagram post! What kind of bender are you on? Does he have a hot brother or would he be interested in-”

“Oh, God.” You cut her off with a laugh, afraid of what she might say next. “He’s Joe’s friend from the movie. And that’s all.”

“So he’s single and ready to dial my number then?”

“Well, he is Welsh.” You chided.

“I know, I stalked his profile long before this interrogation.”

“So then what’s with the twenty questions?” You laughed. Tegan never failed to keep you guessing.

“I was trying to get you to admit you miss me and this place so much that you’d found a tall handsome fellow to bring you back round.”

“No, no I’ll come back on my own someday, dear.”

“I know.” Tegan lowered her voice as if someone else might have been listening.

“I’ve got to find my sea legs though, yeah? I haven’t had a nightmare in a couple of weeks.” You proudly state, tossing the covers over your legs.

“That’s because you’re living the dream, honey,” Tegan stated, as if she really meant it, as if it wasn’t a joke.

After chatting a while longer about how she’d been managing the pub without you and filling you in on the happenings about the quaint little Welsh town, you had to call it a night when your eyes could hardly stay open.

After you hung up, your phone buzzed a few times in a row. Who could possibly try to be getting ahold of you now? You checked to find a notification from Instagram, about a new follower. Assuming Gwilym had just finally got around to liking the photo you posted featuring him, you went to go admire it one last time. But before your eyes focused on the photo in question, a shocking number arose from your notification button.

You had hundreds more followers and more than a thousand likes on your newest photograph. below hundreds of comments.

y'all are so CUTE!

Why is Joe tagged?

Is that his sister?

Where is Joe?

Oh shit, you thought. These boys really mattered to people who didn’t know them. They found you all because you’d tagged Gwilym and Joe. They wanted to know why Joe was tagged. They cared. The astounding influx of followers and likes alarmed you for a few seconds, as you stared at your profile, wondering if you should delete everything. But why? You were proud to finally have something to post about that wasn’t old a grey.

Just as you thought of closing out the app, another notification popped up, unlike all the rest. Joe had tagged you in a photo. He’d just posted the picture of the two of you that Gwilym had taken at the piano bar. The one of you drinking from the glass Joe is holding while you’re looking at each other. In his caption, only a couple of music note emojis.

///

Gwilym left the next afternoon, with a long face and a suitcase full of New York souvenirs. You hugged him for a long time at the loading gates of the airport and laughed when he lifted Joe off the ground for a hug of his own. You weren’t sure if you’d ever see Gwil again, because that’s how life worked. But instead of worrying over it, you felt happy to have gotten to know him.

Joe started the long drive back to your hometown. He blabbered on about how he needed to help his mom with something anyway so he was glad you came along in the first place, just so he could drop you back off again. But you started to feel bad about how long you’d spent mucking about Joe’s flat and wasting his newly valuable time.

“I can drive a little, if you want.” You nervously offered to spare him a little while of responsibility.

“Do you want to?” Joe shot a curious glance your way as he drove out of the city.

“I don’t mind.” Because, no you didn’t really want to. But you would.

“It’s okay,” Joe assured, settling back against his seat, both hands on the wheel.

“Well, then I can give you gas money, yeah?” You thought. You were suddenly desperate to pay him back somehow for the weekend.

“No,” Joe laughed unbelievably. “Why are you being weird?” He was still chuckling.

“Because! This weekend you’ve been absolutely way too generous. So let me do something for you! Are you hungry? I’ll get us dinner.” You waved your hands to make your point and turned to face Joe from the passenger seat.

“I guess I could eat, yeah.” Joe smiled, nodding his head toward the road as he drove. You were a couple of hours away from home, and thirty minutes from a few good stops.

“Alright! Cheesecake Factory. No buts! Step on it!”

“Do you have Stockholm Syndrome?” Joe outlandishly quizzed. You laughed. “Do I have Stockholm Syndrome?”

Joe continued to imagine insane scenarios all the way to the Cheesecake Factory. You skipped inside together and put your name in at the desk. There were three other families ahead of you in line, and a big party that had followed in just behind you and Joe. You didn’t mind the wait, and leaned against the wall next to Joe, clutching the restaurant buzzer in your fist.

“We’re going to tell them it’s your birthday, so get ready.” You smiled as if you were kidding, but you weren’t. There was a deep desperation in you that demanded you shower Joe with the kind of attention he’d shown you this weekend, and always now that you thought about it. You were tired of sulking. You were ready to get back to the way things should have always been.

“Why can’t we tell them it’s yours?” Joe jabbed your side, his sparkling eyes looking into yours with a question.

“Because tonight is very special all about you night.” You reminded as if this had always been clear.

“Alright well, I want to tell them it’s your birthday.” Joe decided, imitating a snotty brat, sticking his nose in the air as if to make his decision final. Just as you started to laugh and curse at him, someone snaked their way through the waiting area packed with people and stopped in front of you.

“You two!” A voice rang. You were looking at Joe when you heard it, and watched his eyes turn in recognition. A girl with mousy brown hair dyed blue at the tips stood in front of you, and she looked the same as she had in high school.

“Keeley!” You practically shrieked, pushing yourself from the wall to wrap her in a hug. Keeley was one of your closest friends from high school. She would invite you over to play guitar hero and help you cheat on homework. When you weren’t riding bikes around town with Keeley, you were usually with Joe, but on many treasured occasions you could be found at the baseball diamond as a trio, when her little brother was on the same team as Joe’s brother.

“I didn’t realize you were back in town.” Joe hugged the girl after you had your turn. She went to Chicago after graduating and you slowly stopped texting each other long-winded updates over the years, even forgoing checking in on social media. But there didn’t seem to be any hard feelings.

“I didn’t realize either of you were back in the country!” Keeley laughed, looking between you and Joe.

“Oh, God I’m sorry, babe-” Keeley turned around and wrapped her fingers around someone’s wrist. “This is my fiance Rebeca.” Keeley beamed a smile at a woman with big brown eyes and a timid smile.

“This is Y/N, who I will always be indebted to for getting kicked off the volleyball team when she took the blame for the time I slashed the principal’s tires.” Keeley fawned over you as you shook your head in remembrance.

“And this is Joe, our resident movie star and the only person who has ever beaten me at Scrabble.” Keeley gestured to Joe as her fiance cocked her head. You knew that look. Joe did too.

“Hey- weren’t you in that Queen movie?” Rebeca pointed up to Joe with a smirk. He let himself smile and started to give a coy nod as he turned his eyes toward you, for some reason.

“That’s why you were so excited to see it, huh?” Rebeca turned to Keeley and your old high school friend started to laugh.

“I’ll always go see your movies, Maz. I’ll even sit through shitty cop shows just to see that cute face of yours. You’re really good, ya know that?” Keeley gave Joe a playful punch in the arm when your buzzer started to go off.

“I’m still much better at Scrabble than anything else.” He smiled.

“Man, we’re being summoned.” You frowned, holding the timer in view.

“Call next time you’re in town!” Joe demanded toward the girls, preparing to follow you toward the desk. You reached out to give Keeley a quick hug. You waved to Rebeca and assured it was nice to meet her as the ladies turned to leave.

“Come on, birthday boy.” You grinned, looping your arm through Joes and foiling his plans to foil yours.

“It’s your birthday? Happy birthday!” Rebeca called over her shoulder.

“Thank you.” Joe sighed through his teeth, dragged you away giving you a look that made you laugh out loud. You totally won whatever game you were playing tonight.

But just nanoseconds before Keeley and Rebeca were out of earshot, you heard your friend’s fiance gush “They were so cute together!”

But you were too distracted by a friendly hostess to let the distant comment sink in.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

[saltyslack-toast]

#Knock The Book 2: The Devil All the Time

WELL, I MADE IT TO THE 2nd BOOK REVIEW OF MINE, MEANS THAT I’M A PASSIONATE AND PERSISTENT BITCH, PERIODT. No actually I’m just bored and got really nothing to do, so here I am making judgmental, invalid and uncritical book review just to ease my guilt for doing nothing at home (just so my mom see me working through my laptop).

Okay The Devil All the Time is actually my first English book. The story of how I got this book as a matter of fact is quite irritating and funny at the same time. My uni friend, she saw this book in a modest book bazaar near her hometown. She was reading the title and the word ‘devil’ just remind her of me, she bought it and just gave it straight to me…... I’m sad but like thankful???

It’s a secondhand and hardcover book but I don’t really mind, considering the fact that the quality is still very nice though, except the worn spots stained all over the cover that make the book looks very old. My friend bought this only for RP 25.000, yes dude you’re not misread this shit, it was THAT CHEAP (whoever sell and own this book before me, I really appreciate it). Although if you want to buy the new one, you can get this book for USD 26.95 which converted in rupiah would be RP 407.500, yeah its cost pretty fancy for broke students like us and I don’t know if the book’s supposed to be available in your local bookstore but I think you can find it in worldwide shipping online store like amazon or any other shop perhaps. The book’s cover illustrate a dying white mutt hanging on the ‘log’ and bunch of cross everywhere, the cover is actually make sense when you read the book. It published in 2011 by doubleday in United States of America. The Author is Donald Ray Pollock, and you can find the sum information about his background written on the cover, but based form the book’s cover you can also check his website in donaldraypollock.com but when I checked, I’m not sure if it’s really his website since it just like pest control website (LMAOO I HAD NO IDEA FR). Anyway,

Let’s go breaking down the book!

“… Too much religion could be as bad as too little, maybe even worse, but moderation was just not in her husband’s nature”

The whole story in this book, basically give you portraits regarding the life of lunatics in the time after WWII. Nope, there is no sums up about the events happened in that moment so chill y’all non-historical enthusiast bitches. This book gonna give you a bizarre experience reading it, the first 10 pages of this book was already psychedelic, I assure that shit. Have you watched Games of Thrones series on HBO? It’s chilling right how Ned Stark, the protagonist of the main series died in the first season???? EXACTLY that was the vibes u got after reading the first chapter and get crazier every time u read forward. By the way, this book embodied 7 chapters and 55 sub-chapters, the chapter in odd and even numbers has 2 different main focuses on each characteristic exist, here I sum it up for you:

On the odd numbers chapters (1, 3, and so on), the central story of these chapters is circling among the family of Willard Russel, his Mom Emma and Uncle Earskell and also those 2 insane peeps Roy Laferty and Theodore. Willard Russel used to be a navy army and a bit skeptical dealing with religion issues just like his uncle, but his mom has always been a devoted worshiper. Willard married to the beautiful and kind-hearted women named Charlotte and they was given a son named Arvin Eugene Russel, everything was normal until Charlotte got sick and Willard gone crazy praying to god for his wife’s recovery and poor little Arvin has to suffer the predicament by his own self. Their stories always give me religious-fanaticism-gloomy vibes (is that even make sense??). Don’t even get me started with the life stories of the two brutes-ass man, Roy Laferty and Theodore they were used to be ‘preacher’ in Emma and young Willard’s Church. Nothing I could say further because it’s gonna be a major spoiler for you, but their stories really giving you insights of how frustration and fanaticism allow people to do something beyond their common sense.

“You remember what I told you the other day?” He asked Arvin

“About the boys on the bus?,”

“Well, that’s what I meant, you just got to pick the right time”

On the even numbers chapters (2, 4, and so on), the main tales is pertaining on the journey of Handerson couple, Carl and Sandy. They were like the Bonnie and Clyde but sad and exploitative version in this book. Carl is a ‘photographer’ and sandy working as a waitress in a café called Wooden Spoon (Which the place where Charlotte used to work as a waitress and the place she met Willard for the first time as well). During summertime they got this ‘ritual’ ((but not in a religious way)) where they drive to different states and give a ride to the hitchhikers found on the way, then Carl forcefully offer them to fuck Sandy for free (HIS OWN WIFE) while he took pictures of them fucking and after that Carl kill them and take all the money those hitchhikers got in their pocket (dude I can’t even judge anything). But to be honest, I’m not a fan of these two characters because they were all so ANNOYING to death. And then there is Bodecker Lee who’s a police and also Sandy’s brother, ok that’s it, I’m not gonna give you any spoilers.

“… He went down the street and sat on a bench in a park the rest of the day thinking about killing himself instead. Something broke in him that day. For the first time he could see that his whole life added up to absolutely nothing…”

You might be confused since there are quite a lot of keen characters in this book but there’s a point where all these bitches are relating to each other, so chill y’all impatient gripe-ass. Overall, the flow of the story is undoubtedly interesting for you to keep going throughout the whole story, because every phase gonna make you wondering about next things happened to them. But, the transitions among every chapters is quite uncomfortable for me, because sometimes when the story has reached its climax there is no resolutions coming to solve the problem immediately, and you’re faced to read the new chapter with a whole different setting and characters so it’s kind of ruining the vibes and emotions the book has made me, but again this just my personal preference so please don’t judge (while everything I did right now is judging inaccurately).

“He realized that he would never preach again, but that was all right. He’d never been much good at it anyway. Most people just wanted to hear the cripple play”

However, what I like the most from this book is the deepening of every character exists is so fascinating, even for just the side or supporting character (for god sake I’m sorry idk what to called a character that isn’t the main one), for example a bus driver in Meade, Ohio which Willard talked to when he was on the way home after the war ended, the narration wrapped and portraits the driver’s life perfectly without make us bored, and there’s still a bunch of interesting narration about the life of the side characters in this book that also as odds and intriguing as the main character’s background (jesus, everything happened and everyone in this book is just so strange and peculiar I swear to god). The story finished in a most tragic-beautiful but still gloomy way, even though it’s quite predictable but still a very good closing for me personally. To be noted, on the way to the end of the story, there will be emerge another asshole priest character named Preston Teagardin, ready to shake you up until you finish the book. But still, let’s said this particular ‘last minute character’ has proving that the author is paying so much attention of how the story ended isn’t leaving any 'rush-made' impression (this shit might confused you I’m sorry my English hasn’t got any better *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign*). # hashtag attention to the detail bro.

Holy crap, that’s the first time I’m almost able to cut all the bullshit I intend to bring it up here.

This book is one of my top 5 books that you have to read once in a life time (although I haven’t discover the other four, omg im sorry y’all). Little information for you that the first time I read this book (yeah I read it for quite few times) is when the campaign of presidential election era, which in Indonesia the religious are pretty sentimental issues, some of the people in my country suddenly became those annoying fanatical preachers, man I can’t stand it. And this book is just precisely relating to that condition and I get to know at least a glance of what the heck odds things happened in their minds, since you know fanaticism and stupidity doesn’t hit only on particular group of religions, race, gender or anything, we can all be stupid and brainless (especially me because I basically have no brain). There probably quite many scenes that is pretty disturbing to read (I don’t know if people could be triggered by it???? But I guess so) so yeah a bit warning. Overall, I genuinely recommend this book for you guys because every element in this book is almost perfect, the storylines, bold characters, and the RARE AND STRANGE AND SENSITIVE topic promote by the author in this novel is totally a BOOM. Don’t worry reading this book not going to give you those agnostic and atheist vibes HAHA chill I still consider myself a devoted Muslim tho (hashtag masyaallah ukthi).

By the way before I wrapped it up, I hear that this book will be made into a netflix film. WELL, of course I’m excited because the casts are so amazing, and I love Netflix adaptation and I enjoy watch movies as much as I read books (again, unnecessary information of mine *sorry hand sign*). I found that the release date is postponed from the origin plan in 15th May (which is three days ago from I posted this on my page) due to I don’t know perhaps corona because that bitch has ruined everyone in the world’s schedule, but for real I can’t find the exact information regarding to the updated release date, so while you wait the film to launch, why don’t you just go read the book first? I assure you this one not gonna give you any disappointment.

I think that would be it for this 2nd rubbish book review of mine. Although, I think I made a little progressive from the first one (OR MAYBE NOT???? I’M SORRY Y’ALL) but of course there’s still much deficiency I served. Still, I hope my writing get better in the process of making this whole novel of reviewing book inaccurately. To be honest, I wrote this shit not for getting any engagements or audience but for my own satisfied HAHA. So yeah I’m literally comfortable writing for nothing. But bitch guess what I’m just gonna keep going, until I could professionally writing and make it for a living? Well, amen for that.

Xiao, See you in Advance!

[ckret2]

Out of all the human music, what do you think Ghidorahs heads would enjoy most?

It took over three thousand words to answer this question and I enjoyed every second of it.

So!

Did you know that dogs can communicate with each other through their pee?

I swear this is relevant to the question.

Dogs pee to mark their territory. And they have an incredibly sensitive sense of smell compared to humans. From a few drops of pee, they can tell another dog’s sex, whether the dog’s in heat if it’s female, whether the dog’s been spayed/neutered, which direction it was traveling, how long ago it was in the area, whether the dog’s stressed or sick…

So if you ask a dog what their favorite pee scent is, what are they gonna say? Probably something relevant to the data they’ve evolved to put into and get out of dog pee. They’re probably gonna say something like “mine, because it’s familiar and means that I’m home somewhere safe,” or “the smell of a lady that’s dtf” or “the smell of stress because I’m an evil dog sadist that relishes other dogs’ suffering” or “the smell of neutered dogs because it means there’s gonna be less fights in this neighborhood between horny dogs” or “i don’t care as long as there’s LOTS of dogs because play pals!!!” Something like that, probably. I’m making this up as I go.

If you ask a human what their favorite dog pee scent is, the answers you get are probably going to be “They have different scents???” or “idk, whichever pee smells the least" or “my puppy’s pee smells different when she’s sick, so, uh, whichever scent is Not That One.”

Ask a human what their favorite kind of music is, or assign a favorite kind of music to a human character, and it tells you something about them. If they say that they like 90s anime themes & JRPG soundtracks, then that’s going to tell you something about them. It’s going to tell you that either they’re from Japan and grew up with that on TV, or they’re a weeb. “Counterpoint: maybe it just tells you that they like that kind of music?” Yeah but where were they gonna stumble on that music if they aren’t either from Japan or a weeb? If they only like the music because of its sound, then they would also be interested in Hasidic Jewish music, right? After all, anime/JRPG music and Hasidic music sound a lot alike:

https://ckret2.tumblr.com/post/187677604232/krakenpocalypse-jewishmagpie-tlbodine

But you never see people say “I like JRPG soundtracks and Hasidic music,” because people don’t like music because of the way it sounds. They like it because of the way it sounds AND because they were exposed to it (you can’t enjoy music you don’t know about) AND because they were exposed to it frequently* AND because they feel at home in a community that values that kind of music AND because that kind of music is accessible to them AND because that kind of music has positive associations for them AND because either they heard a bit of that music and sought out more just like it or because they’re in a place where they were passively exposed to a whole lot of that music… etc etc etc. 

(*Fun psychology fact! Understanding certain sounds as “music” is learned, not just innate—if you hear a new song and it immediately sounds pleasantly musical to you, it’s because you’ve heard enough songs similar to it that your brain auto-interprets it as music. Which is one of the reasons why music in genres that you don’t listen to as often might “kind of sound all the same” or “blend together” or fail to hit any emotional chords in you the way that songs in genres you listen to all the time do. It’s not because you found the One True Emotionally Gripping Musical Genre and everyone else is listening to genres that don’t have that emotional punch for some reason; it’s because your brain is tuned, just like an instrument’s strings, to resonate with those kinds of songs, and other people’s brains are tuned to resonate with other kinds.)

I swear all of this is still relevant to Ghidorah headcanons.

So anyway, if somebody tells you that they’re into anime themes and JRPG soundtracks? It tells you either they grew up in Japan or they’re a weeb. If they tell you they’re into anime themes and Hasidic music? Then they grew up in Japan or they’re a weeb, and also they’re Jewish or close with Jewish folks which is why they were exposed to Hasidic music; OR, they’re a tumblr user who was into one of the genres, saw that same hundred-thousand-note post I linked above, and looked up the other genre. If a millennial says their favorite band is Backstreet Boys, that implies something very different about their overall musical tastes—and possibly their social circle, their fashion taste, their TV and movie preferences—than if they say their favorite band is Evanescence. That’s not to say you can’t be a goth-as-fuck dressed-in-all-black purple-dyed-hair vampire-lit-devouring Grown-Up Emo Kid if your favorite band was Backstreet Boys—but it doesn’t correlate as highly as Evanescence does, does it? Someone whose favorite band sings about the light of Jesus filling their soul probably has very different religious beliefs from someone whose favorite band sings about blowing Satan in a cemetery.

And all of those associations are massively intensified if we’re talking about fictional characters instead of real people. Me, grown up goth that I am, driving to work singing along with Evanescence songs and songs about blowing Satan—when I was a kid I had a phase where Backstreet Boys was my favorite band, and what’s that say about me, my personality, and my overall identity? Ultimately, not a lot, except that they were everywhere when I was a kid, I could name four of their songs (more than most artists!), and I thought three of them were pretty good. People’s tastes are varied, weird, pick up strange chunks, and drift around, and it doesn’t always tell you something deep about their character.

But, if you create a goth character but say when they were a child Backstreet Boys was their favorite band, why did you, the writer, assign them a favorite band that goes against their type so hard? What are you trying to say about them? Did something happen in childhood that changed them from the kind of kid who’s into pop (generally perceived in fiction and sometimes reality to mean a person is normal, well-adjusted, optimistic, mainstream, average, boring—or “has good taste” to other people who like pop) into the kind of kid who’s into goth music (generally perceived in fiction and sometimes reality to indicate a person is sad/angry/anxious, pessimistic, counterculture, overtly rejects the mainstream, weird, mysterious—or “has good taste” to other people who like goth music)?

Is it because something sad happened in their childhood and changing their style/music was how they coped? Is it because they met someone important to them who opened their eyes to The Beauty Of The Dark And Macabre? Is it because they were only allowed to listen to parent-approved pop as a kid and chose to dive into the most out-there genre they could find as an act of rebellion? Is it because they became a vampire and that’s apparently just what vampires do? Is it because they realized they were unconsciously faking being attracted to guys because they thought that was normal and picked an appropriate boy band to latch onto, but when puberty was kicking in at age 13 they saw a cute girl with black nails and clothes at the mall and went “hecc im love girls” and grabbed the first album they could find with a female vocalist in similar makeup on the cover?

What’s this character’s backstory? What’s the significance of that decision? Why did you give this character that favorite band? Why did you choose to have this music in this character’s life? Why pop, punk, jazz, rock, metal, rap, country? Why American, Japanese, Indian, Spanish, Arabic, South African? Why that mainstream, or why that obscure? Just the decision to make their favorite artist “Benjamin who plays his guitar at the local coffee shop” versus “Veniamin who plays his guitar in a coffee shop in Greece and puts the videos on YouTube” tells you something about whether they find their Obscure Favorite Artist in the local community or in Internet deep dives (unless they actually live in Greece). All those decisions tell, suggest, or imply something about that character’s position within their surrounding human culture.

That’s the key here: within their surrounding human culture. What music a character listens to suggests a whole lot about the millions of intricate connections they have with their surrounding culture when that character too is a human.

Assign a favorite kind of music to a non-human character, and you say something about them, too. What you say about them, before you say anything else, is “the way that this character’s brain is wired to interpret sound waves into pitch and rhythm is nearly identical to the way that human brains are wired to interpret sound waves; and furthermore, they’re familiar enough with human culture that they know and recognize different ‘categories’ of music and pick categories that they do like based on their assigned similarities versus categories they don’t like based on their assigned similarities.”

And that ain’t something that can be said about Ghidorah.

See I told you all that would be relevant.

To say “Ghidorah likes rock,” you first have to give Ghidorah the capacity to differentiate rock from rap, from country, from Bollywood, from 8-bit chiptunes, from whatever the fuck Tchaikovsky was up to—and even humans aren’t born with the innate ability to sort songs into categories like that. Hell, even humans who are familiar with music have a hard time telling apart different kinds of music the deeper and deeper you get into specific genres. Like, do you know the difference between Electroclash and Filthy Electrohouse? Probably not? Would saying that Filthy Electrohouse is Electroclash with a house kick help? No? What about saying that Filthy Electrohouse is basically the same as normal Electrohouse except that Electrohouse evolved out of House whereas Filthy Electrohouse evolved out of Electroclash? No? Sound like gibberish to you? You probably know the difference between rock and metal, though, even if only vaguely. Try explaining it to an alien who’s never heard either genre before. To the alien whatever you say is going to sound like explaining Filthy Electrohouse because they haven’t got any of the background understanding of the genres to sort them apart.

(And if you want to know more about what the hell is this Filthy Electro French Clash House thing, may I recommend https://music.ishkur.com/# as an absolutely terrifying but very interesting guide to the complete history of electronic music and its subgenres? I like to click on random things and listen to them. The above genres can be found way at the bottom under Eurotrash.)

So the tl;dr is: I can’t give Ghidorah favorite music. Not in a normal “oh, they prefer to listen to death metal/Italian opera/Tibetan throat singing/golden oldies/traditional children’s lullabies” way because all of that, any of that, implies a knowledge of and connection to human culture that not only do they lack, but just imagining asserting a preferred genre/artist like that mentally strains my internal willing suspension of disbelief.

And I had to say all of the above to say that tl;dr because, like, listen. Listen. “I can’t give Ghidorah favorite music” is a boring, uninteresting answer. It’s a lack of information. “I can’t give Ghidorah favorite music because the vast cultural background knowledge necessary to understand music on humanity’s terms is as alien to Ghidorah as the nuances of dog pee smell are alien to humans.” That, that actually says a lot about Ghidorah, and I think that it says something interest.

So with all that said! Lemme tell you what kind of music they do like.

Because they do like music. A whole lot. Lots of music from lots of alien species.

It’s just human music that’s unfamiliar to them. They will gain familiarity with human music—as soon as they gain access to a means to hear human music (and I do have that in the works!)—but the way they interpret and categorize it won’t necessarily have any correlation with how humans do.

Ghidorah’s wired for singing. Loooves singing. I haven’t decided yet whether that’s a natural dorat thing and over time they added in music from other species as they learned it, or if it’s specifically a trick that they picked up after being fused together and needing a way to weaponize their empath abilities. In either case, their singing is tied directly into their empath capabilities. Half of the “songs” they know aren’t “songs” in any conventional sense, but “the sounds that they figured out would interact directly with the way a target species’ brain functions in order to cause whatever emotion they want their target to feel.” I’ve talked about this before in my Ghidorah-as-siren post. https://ckret2.tumblr.com/post/185784244462/ghidorah-as-siren

(Things like that—specific sounds that directly cause emotions in a species due to an instinctive response rather than a learned reaction—are precedented in real life! There’s a certain sound frequency that causes humans to feel fear/panic/dread/paranoia and sometimes hallucinate ghosts, and it’s theorized that this sound might be found at a lot of “haunted” locations: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2003/oct/16/science.farout )

So, when Ghidorah does this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xA-QJUyBdJU

That’s literally a song, from their perspective. It’s a short song, but it’s a song. It’s a “become afraid and rampage against anything threatening (which means everything)” song. At the end of The Glorious Resurrection of Bouvet Island (here https://ckret2.tumblr.com/post/187594976987/the-glorious-resurrection-of-bouvet-island ) when Rodan is “ whistling a high soothing note” and then they do this:

“It took him a while to notice that the middle head had started copying his whistle, letting out a single endless note at the exact same pitch. Then the other two joined in, turning it into a high, trilling, reverberating sound, an “ii-lii-lii-lii-lii.” The sound got into his head, made him feel like he was floating. Made him feel like he was in the safest place in the universe.”

They heard Rodan making a sound (something like a single long high-pitched bird whistle) which Rodan instinctively knows as a “soothe somebody” sound; they learned the sound, and from it learned something about how Rodan understands and processes sound; and they immediately turned it around and used it to soothe him. When Rodan immediately feels Super Safe, that’s not just because they’re being all nice to him—that’s full-on song-based dorat empath mind control he’s under the effects of.

So a loud trumpeting roar that induces “be afraid and smash things!” feelings is a song. A single high-pitched continuous note that induces “you’re extremely hella safe!” feelings is a song. So far, those are the only two Earth songs they know, because those are the only two songs they’ve got that work on Earthlings. One they composed themselves, and one they remixed from a song Rodan accidentally taught them.

Based on this, the human definition of “music” and Ghidorah definition of “music” are very different. Our music can be included somewhere inside his definition; but his definition is far broader than ours and includes things we’d never hear as musical.

Ghidorah can sing, like, non-mind-controlling songs too. He does do that. Just sing for fun rather than for megalomaniacal world-destroying reasons. Songs composed for normal reasons! All the ones he knows at this point are alien but he could sing them. There’s a mention in the one-shot from Gigan’s perspective that he likes Ghidorah’s singing and wants to expose him to more.

However, he doesn’t have to separate “normal songs that sound like actual music” from songs that can evoke emotions. Especially if the song itself is somehow intended to evoke an emotion, it’s pretty easy for Ghidorah to learn the emotion that it’s supposed to cause and actually weave that into the song itself. Because, generally, if a species goes “ah yes this song should inspire This Emotion,” then they’re likely to include sounds that physiologically/psychologically help induce that feeling in the brain. Humans do it! So if he’s singing a sad-sounding song with sad lyrics, the odds are good that if a member of the species that produced the song hears it, they won’t just think it sounds sad, they’ll be telepathically forced to feel sad.

The songs they most enjoy singing are ones that can make use of all their musical abilities. Of course, they’ve got their voices—and when they’re singing, they tend to go for higher pitch ranges. You ever hear this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eogtlyDg4Y

Dude can pull off soprano if he wants. If they do hear enough human songs to be familiar with them, yes, they’re going to sing along with the music—and yes, they’re going to do it even if they don’t know the words, which they won’t, because they’ve probably never heard a human voice except when it’s screaming loud enough that they can faintly pick it up from five hundred feet above. They’re going to sing anyway. Don’t pretend you’ve never tried to sing along with a song in a language you don’t know and ended up going “AAA LALALA DA DADA GSDKLFJGLKJ” as you sing.

But like it’s not gonna be limited to human voices because they’ve been all over the galaxy, what separates a “voice” from an “instrument”? Nothing! They can sing violin & viola parts. They can sing brass instruments. They can sing piano.

You know that their tails rattle? Like rattlesnakes? They’ve got maracas on their tails. They can keep rhythm to music with their tails. Or their feet, if they’re on a hard enough surface that they can tap their claws.

You know this scene? With the wing thing?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhDdXXr9dfQ

Ever heard a tesla coil sing?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-f6GijQXaBI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ee5evlN8Bbs

Yeah they can do that. Probably with greater actual range than a tesla coil. I imagine it works best on synthesizer music and some electric guitar. Probably other things too that I haven’t thought of, but uh I listen to synthesizer & electric guitar so that’s what I think about when I imagine singing space dragons lmao.

Their preferred music, therefore, is going to be stuff that 1) give all three heads parts to sing, 2) also lets them use their tails and wings, and 3) ideally, gives them some interesting emotions to steal/replicate/inflict on others. Which is very broad! Covers a lot of things, no doubt!

Eventually, yeah, they’re going to probably develop more specific human musical preferences—but the preferences are going to be based on their own alien criteria, and it’s also going to be based on what human music they have access to. At least initially? That means that their musical taste is going to be limited to whatever music they can pick up on AM radio in the Gulf of Mexico just off the northeast tip of Mexico. Which, depending on the exact stations available where the Rio Grande dumps into the ocean will probably mean “the current chart toppers in Mexico & the US” and “extremely local Mexican music.“ 

It took over three thousand words to reach that answer. I hope you found the journey rewarding.

[novantinuum]

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: General Audiences

Words: ~2K

Summary: In another world, he doesn’t have his mother’s sword or shield to hide behind when Bismuth lands her strike. The bubble pops.

Steven falls apart.

Chapter summary: In which everyone's panicking, and honestly Steven can't blame them.

First

Chapter 2: Knowing

Thankfully, they’re not alone when they warp into the temple. Pearl and Garnet are sitting at the counter, caught mid conversation, and Amethyst is flopped lazily across the couch with her arm hanging over the edge. Still shivering, Steven clings ever tighter to Bismuth’s arm, glancing with tear stained eyes between his Gem self and Garnet, the only one in his direct line of sight.

She shoots to her feet. Her mouth twists into an expression laced with more raw panic than he’s ever seen her convey in his life, and that thought alone hurts enough to shoot a physical pang through his nerves.

“Steven! Bismuth!"

“Ah, there you are,” Pearl greets amicably, and begins to turn to face the warp pad. “We were wondering where yo- oh good heavens!!"

“Dude...” Amethyst says as she shoots upright on the couch, her face turning a paler shade of purple.

He feels Bismuth’s form grow tense at their now inescapable attention, her fingers wrapping around his prone body just a little bit tighter. The pink clone generated by his gemstone glitches, the edges of his hard-light form morphing to fuzzy static that phases in and out of shape. Simultaneously, Steven winces at the uncomfortable sensation of pins and needles tingling through his limbs.

Any and all shell-shocked confusion dies at the unquestionable sight of a cracked Gem. His family rushes across the room to the warp pad in no more than a nanosecond flat, their shrill, panicked voices and Bismuth’s overlapping each other until he can barely pick out what any one of them is saying. His ears begin to ring. More arms than his disoriented senses can count dance under his back, and before long a thick blanket is wrapped around him, (is that his entire bedspread?), and he finds himself secure in Garnet’s hold, halfway across the room by the loft stairs. Safe! Admitting it leaves his stomach gnawing with nausea, because it feels so much like a blatant betrayal against the forgiving, accepting person he aspires to be, but it’s a relief to no longer be in the mercy of Bismuth’s grasp.

The Gems continue to fuss and argue about goodness knows what, their faces blurring in and out of focus as the seconds tick on. Notably, Pearl’s voice rises above all the others. She kneels next to Other Steven, wrapping her arm protectively around him. (He may be imagining it, but he swears he can feel the phantom whispers of her touch on his own shoulder.) He’s mostly gotten used to that baseline dull ache left behind in place of his gemstone by now, but whenever his counterpart’s form flickers and warps due to the crack that’s no doubt splayed across the rose quartz’s surface, that ache spikes into sensations uncomfortable enough to make his toes curl. If this is the pain he’s able to feel without his gem altogether, then what kind of agony is Other Steven in? His eyes brim with hot, sloppy tears, a sharp whimper passing his lips. The others are far too busy arguing to notice.

“—took him to the lower forge alone?? What were you thinking? It’s far too hot for him down there!”

Bismuth pales. “I’m- I honestly didn’t think about—“

“‘Kay, but literally none of this explains this freaky clone action,” Amethyst butts in, jutting her finger towards the pink Steven standing motionless in Pearl’s embrace. “Somehow he split entirely apart from his gem, so—“

“Enough!” Garnet says. One of her hands gently strokes his forehead, a stark difference from the impatience etched within the tension in her face. “This entire conversation is irrelevant, we should be—“

“Y'guys,” he croaks, but they're all so caught up in argument that he's brushed right over, which... kinda hurts. A lot.

“—how can he fuse with his gem half again if he’s completely hu—“

Pearl bristles. “It is not irrelevant, something terrible’s happened and Bismuth hasn’t explained herself!”

“Pearl, I’m trying, but you won’t—“

“I don’t care how any of it happened!” Garnet roars. Even though it’s not directed at him, he flinches at the harshness of her anger. “His gem is cracked!!”

The room falls silent.

He nuzzles his head into the crook of her arm, feeling ever safer in her embrace. "Thank you," he whispers. She responds with a gentle squeeze.

To his side, Bismuth squirms a little, nervously folding her hands together and apart over and over...

“This is all my fault,” she says brokenly. He’s almost positive there’s tears budding at the corners of her eyes.

“This isn’t about us,” Garnet says, more sensitively this time. “This is about helping Steven.” Then, in a whisper only for him: “Hold on. You’re gonna be all right, I promise.”

Steven gets the sense this comment is more for her benefit than his. He’s unsure if that should scare him or not.

(How many futures has she just watched where he di- No, he thinks. Not going there, nope nope nope.)

Amethyst hobbles up onto the warp pad then, urgently gesturing for everyone else to join her. “Well come on, no time to waste, yeah? We gotta get the two Stevens to Rose’s fountain!”

The other Gems agree readily, and follow behind. Bismuth’s steps are stiff and stilted. Meanwhile, Pearl leads his quiet pink counterpart by the hand, assisting him up the stairs of the warp amid his glitching. Out of everyone, the blank shock written clear as day across her face suggests she’s especially haunted by the existence of that hard-light version of himself. More so than everyone else. Carefully regarding her as Garnet carries him— still wrapped like a burrito— in his blanket, Steven can’t help but wonder why.

The warp activates, enveloping them in its glow. In seconds, they’re all coursing through the warp stream at record speed. One thing he knows for sure: he’s super glad he has his bedspread with him, because this strange little pocket of space hung between dimensions has a knack for being chilly, especially outside of the stream. It’d suck to start shivering again right after finally settling down.

Reassuringly, the promise of sunrise greets him in vibrant stripes of pink and orange as they promptly arrive at their location. It‘s night back in Beach City, but he’s pretty sure Mom’s fountain is somewhere in Europe. Maybe France? So, the sunrise makes sense. Large trees and shrubs block out the horizon in every direction, growing wild without constant nurturing. Still, it all looks leagues nicer (and infinitely less threatening) than the first time he came here. A spike of tingling runs up his nerves, reminding him that unfortunately, with his gem cracked, (and still no clue how he split apart from it in the first place), now’s no time to waste sightseeing. His chest tightens as he suddenly realizes he’s missing one crucial family member. One family member he— even if it’s a bit of a childish thought— really wants holding his hand right about now.

“Wait, I need Dad,” he speaks up, voice hoarse and shaky.

Garnet hugs him closer to her chest at that admission. She presses her forehead against his, whispering some reassurance he can’t quite catch.

“Amethyst, go back and fetch Greg,” Pearl says. “You can meet us at the fountain.”

She nods, for once not even arguing with her orders. “On it."

Her long white hair ripples in waves behind her as she sprints back to the warp pad. Soon enough, he spots a column of cyan light shooting up into the sky. His fingers knead the edge of the blanket he's wrapped in, desperately trying to keep his mind from entertaining all the worst possible outcomes. It's becoming harder to ignore his pink double's suffering, even though he's remained near-silent this whole time. Anyways, he really, really hopes she'll be back with his dad soon.

Steven's attention returns to the others, and he watches as Pearl’s eyes narrow slightly, her glance sliding back to Bismuth. “When all this is over, we’ll be discussing things like upholding sleep curfews, practical safety tactics, and the key differences between Gem and human anatomy.“

Her brow tightly creasing, she smooths out the front of her apron. “Yup. Received and understood.”

“We’d also appreciate more context on how all this happened in the first place,” Garnet says, gesturing between him and the Other Steven hand-in-hand with the tall, salmon haired Gem.

Without any other forewarning, Other Steven’s previously glassy expression snaps into alertness. “Breaking point,” he blurts out for the first time since the forge, tone flat. “Bismuth cracked me—“ a particularly violent glitch overwhelms the stability of his hard-light body, his words fragmenting— “htiw a gnikaerb tniop.”

The strength of Garnet’s hold on him triples, as if in her fury she’s unintentionally forgotten about how she’s carrying him in the first place. He winces, totally not thinking about how he’s watched her poof corruptions by squeezing them. Nope, nosiree, not at all.

“Uh, Garnet?”

“She did what??!” Pearl says, whirling towards the individual in question.

“Okay, okay!” Bismuth backs a few steps away, terror curling across her face at the sight of her looming anger. “So I know it sounds bad, and well, it kinda is, but I swear if you give me the chance to I’ll expla—“

“NO!”

The stone pathway splinters under the hard-light Steven’s feet as he yells, tipping everyone off balance. Pearl and Bismuth stumble and fall. Garnet takes a knee, and somehow avoids dropping him. Around them, a handful of frail limbs on a nearby tree crack and collapse to the ground. Bewildered and genuinely frightened by this display, Steven desperately locks eyes with the other him, watching his form endlessly warp and morph and flicker into impossible shapes. For a fragment of a second he swears his double’s irises flare hot pink.

“You TRUH mih!” Other Steven shouts at Bismuth, his fury pinning her in her spot, even in garbled phrases. “Uoy deirt ot RETTAHS—“

He disappears with a poof of smoke, retreating into the rose quartz gem. His gem. Immediately all phantom pains recede, settling back into that dull emptiness sitting in the pit of his stomach. For but a heartbeat, the gemstone remains airborne, its facets glittering in the glow of the morning sun. It’s big, larger than even seems possible, the exposed pentagonal surface only counting for a fraction of its full size. Somehow hidden within him this whole time, the sides of the pink gem flare outward and jut into a steep point. Pearl audibly gasps, slamming both hands over her mouth. Garnet and Bismuth recoil at the sight.

Then gravity asserts control, and it tumbles down, down, careening towards the hard stone like dead weight. Before it can shatter entirely on the ground, Pearl dives with the finesse of a polished gymnast, catching the gem and clutching it tight to her chest as if to obscure it from the others.

“Pearl?” Steven croaks.

Her face is white as milk, and her slight frame is shuddering. “You were never supposed to...”

“B-but this doesn’t make sense! That wasn’t- you’re not a rose quartz,” Bismuth stutters, carefully standing to her feet. His stomach sinks at the accusation, his brow furrowing with confusion. “That gemstone, it’s—“

In all the years to come, he doubts he’ll ever forget the visceral fear laced within Garnet’s whisper, fear not for him, but of him:

“—it’s Pink Diamond.”

Notes:

Cracked/glitching Gem Steven's dialogue, for ease of reading:

“Breaking point. Bismuth cracked me with a breaking point.”

“NO! You HURT him! You tried to SHATTER—“

Basically, he was in such poor shape that he retreated back into his gem (in an futile attempt) to heal. He was exerting far too much energy there in his anger, poor thing.

__

Note, none of the CGs actually suspected Bismuth intentionally hurt Steven until that bombshell. Before that, their assumption was that she took him on a lil' midnight sightseeing trip and he got cracked/split by accident. I figure they'd have no reason to suspect any foul play before that.

And Gem Steven... he finally spoke up when he had information of relevance to add to the conversation. Garnet outright requested more context on how the two Stevens split, gesturing towards him as she did, and so he told her. The argument in the temple was more of an argument about him, and not including him, so he remained quiet. And then later, he's calling Bismuth the heck out on her attempt at squirreling away from the blame. He's... very, very protective of his other half.

[zoemurph]

dewey decimals

on ao3

i was doing a close reading assignment the other night and i started thinking about connor as an english major and then i started thinking about connor as a librarian and now im here

enjoy this and also my opinions on wuthering heights

Connor loves books.

He does, no matter what look Larry gives him whenever he locks himself in his room to read for a few hours. Larry probably thinks he’s getting high. Okay yes, sometimes he’s just getting high. But he also reads.

It’s cliche as fuck, but books are the best friends Connor’s got. They can’t hate him or judge him or abandon him. They’re just there. Plus it’s pretty morbid to sometimes think about how they’re insights to the minds of people who are dead.

So yeah, Connor likes books. He likes classics and gothic novels and young adult lit and middle grade books. He doesn’t really get book snobs, because there are shitty books in every genre. He tries to give all books a try.

Except Twilight. Zoe went through a Twilight phase. Fuck Twilight.

Loving books means that he should probably like his job more than he does. But he doesn’t love it. Because being a part time librarian is boring as shit.

All Connor has gotten from this experience is minimum wage and the ability to alphabetize things relatively fast.

Libraries are not active places. They just sort of exist. If Connor were anything like his father — and the day they become alike at all is the day he jumps out a window — he would say that libraries were dying because everyone was too focused on technology these days or something. Which is partially true, but the local library also…sucks.

They don’t get new books quickly, the computers they do have are old as fuck, and everything is slightly dusty. Which is just annoying, because Connor literally dusts on a weekly basis. It’s part of his job. Where the fuck is this dust coming from? They may be right across from the high school, but most high schoolers have better things to do than sit in a dimly lit library for a few hours. Like getting high behind McDonald’s.

Most of Connor’s job is cleaning. Which is ironic because his room is a travesty. But as boring as it is, there’s something weirdly calming about shelving books. There’s a nice routine in pushing the cart through the shelves, making sure all the books are in the right order, pushing them all up to the right part of the shelf so they’re all perfectly aligned.

Sometimes the head librarian misplaces the duster. That switches things up.

Once all the books are reshelved and the shelves are straightened and dusted, Connor makes himself comfortable at the front desk. On slow days like this (but who is he kidding, every day is a slow day), he just sits at the desk and reads a random book until someone needs to check out books or needs help. Usually he’s kind of shit about the help part, but he’s getting better.

Some of the more elderly visitors like him, they find him charming or something. Entertaining maybe. Suburban mothers judge him for having his combat boots up on the desk. They also judge him for his hair and his piercings and the fact that he hasn’t worn a color other than black in two years. They literally keep their children away from him as long as they can. It’s more amusing than insulting, besides, kids think his hair is fucking awesome.

But almost no one is in the library today. It’s one of the slowest days they’ve had in weeks, which means Connor is able to get comfortable in the old desk chair and ignore all the other happenings of the world for much longer than usual.

Today, he’s reading Wuthering Heights. It’s for class, but he doesn’t hate it so that’s an improvement from the last book they were assigned. Supposedly it’s a romance but Connor isn’t seeing it. Some girl in his english class is trying to convince them all that it is, but whenever she brings it up, Connor just flips back to the page where Heathcliff breaks into Catherine’s coffin to see her dead body.

Sexy.

He tugs on his hair as he squints at the page, trying to see any sort of romance in any of these relationships. It all kind of just sucks.

“E-excuse me?”

Connor looks up without lowering his book. Libraries aren’t known for their customer service, right? “Can I help you?” he asks flatly.

“I-I…” The boy furrows his eyebrows and pulls on his sweatshirt. “There’s a book I’m— looking for a book.”

“Cool.”

“Uh… I’m…”

Connor sighs and puts down his book, marking the page with a sticky note. “Is there a specific book, because you can look it up on the computers.” He jerks his head toward the old machines that everyone pretends aren’t five years out of date.   

The boy stares at him with wide eyes. “H-how?”

Connor stares right back at him, expression blank. “I’m sorry, how?”

“I-I know how to use a computer!” he says quickly. “I just don’t know how to use those and I kept getting weird pop up messages and then something happened and I think maybe one of them timed out but I don’t really understand what I’m doing and I think I actually might’ve broken the middle one because it started making a weird noise and—”

“That thing is a fuc— freaking dinosaur,” Connor interrupts, catching himself on the swear and glancing over to the children’s section. No one’s here right now, but moms are like hawks. It’d be just his luck for one of them to swoop in and get him fired for swearing. “It’s impossible to break but if it’s broken it’s because it’s old as…crap.” He leans back in his chair. “Just follow the instructions.”  

Connor moves to pick his book back up. The boy does not move.

Shit. He’s going to be one of those people.

“Do you need me to show you?” Connor asks, trying to sound like he doesn’t hate life too much.

The boy jerks away. “N-no! It’s fine I’ve got this I just have to, um, figure it out quickly and then I think I should be able to get it but I just don’t want to break anything because if I do I might have to pay for it but I don’t actually think I can do that because computers are expensive and then not only will I not have my book but also I—”

Connor stands and the boy stops talking, shrinking away. Connor blinks. Holy fuck he’s a lot taller than this kid than he initially thought. “Do you need me to show you?” he asks. The faster this kid gets his book, the faster Connor can go back to reading.

“Yes,” the boy says shaking his head no. “I-I mean—!”

Connor sighs and steps around the desk. “Let me just…” He leads him to the computers and doesn’t even bother sitting down. He bends over and clicks the mouse a few times until the monitor wakes up. “What are you looking for?”

“A-a book for class,” the boy sputters. He digs through his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper, holding out the crumpled page to Connor.

Connor resists the urge to roll his eyes, smoothing it out on the desk and skimming over it before turning back to the computer. He inputs all the information, the book sounds familiar to him which is promising, and then lets the piece of shit they call a computer load.

The boy just awkwardly hovers next to him as he works.

If Connor were better at his job he’d probably, like, explain this process. So next time, the kid can do it himself. But he’s not.

“We have it,” Connor says when the page finally loads. He turns to the boy. “Can you find it with this info or…” he drawls. He really wants to sit back down.  

The boy steps a little closer and squints at the screen. He smells like cinnamon and something else that Connor can’t name but knows smells nice and this is creepy and he needs to stop immediately. “Is— um…” He tilts his head.

Connor raises his eyebrows at him. “It’s a science book. So it’s shelved using the Dewey Decimal System. Do you…?”

He stares at Connor with wide and terrified eyes. Yeah that was what Connor thought. “Follow me,” he mutters. The library isn’t big. It’s almost directly proportional to the size and quality of their town. So small and shitty. But if you don’t know your way around it is a little confusing. The labeling is bad and Connor still hates the Dewey Decimal System, even after working here for over a year.

He glances down at the boy, who’s trailing slightly behind him. He looks…familiar. “Do you go to school here?” he asks, gesturing vaguely toward where the high school probably is maybe. Usually Connor hates small talk, but this is bugging him.

The boy looks up with a start. “Y-yeah,” he says, getting the gist of Connor’s strange hand motions. “I’m a, uh, senior. There. Yeah.”

Connor slows his strides to study him carefully. Admittedly, Connor doesn’t pay much attention to anything in school, but most of the people in this town are born here and die here. He notices the collar of a shirt under the boy’s sweatshirt and it snaps into place. “Evan Hansen, right?”

Evan stops walking. “Ye-yeah? I’m not— you know who I am?”

“Vaguely,” Connor says dryly. He doesn’t think they’ve ever had any classes together and Evan isn’t exactly a memorable person. “I haven’t had a reason to.” “F-fair.”

“You know me, though.”

“I never said that!” Evan blurts out.

Connor looks at him with raised eyebrows. “Are you telling me you haven’t heard rumors about me.”

Evan pulls on the strings of his sweatshirt. “I-I never said that either. I just meant—”

Connor crosses his arms.

Evan ducks his head. “Okay yeah but I wasn’t going to… I should shut up now.”

Connor shakes his head. “Come on, let’s get your book. Who do you need it for?” He still hates small talk, but now he feels obligated. Fuck.

“AP Environmental Science,” Evan mumbles. “With Ele— Ms. Daniels.”

“Isn’t that the fake AP class?” Connor asks. He stops walking and skims the shelves. He sees Evan turning pink out of the corner of his eye.

“I-I mean… Yeah everyone kind of treats it that way so I guess it is but it could be more interesting if people actually tried and we get to go on field trips to like forests and stuff and it’s, um, I mean not fun but... It could be…worse?”

Connor pulls the book off the shelf and turns to hand it to Evan. “That’s cool.” He surprises himself by genuinely meaning it. He’s not super into the ideas of the outdoors, bugs can go fuck themselves, but it sounds like a chill class. Anything to get out of the hell hole that is their high school.

Evan takes the book and laughs awkwardly. “You’d be the first to think that, it’s a joke.”

Connor shrugs. “So is life.”

“I…guess that’s one way of looking at it.” Evan glances down to the floor, smiling a little.

Connor clears his throat and shakes his bangs out of his eyes. “Do you need anything else or do you want me to just check you out?”

“Please,” Evan says, his voice almost a squeak.

Connor leads Evan back to the front desk, grabbing a few misplaced books as he does so. Those will have to be reshelved before he leaves later. He takes the book back from Evan and Evan’s library card, scanning it and printing out the receipt.

“We got rid of the index card things,” Connor explains, grabbing his sticky note out of Wuthering Heights and flipping the book upside down. It’s not his book. Who cares if the spine breaks. “The due date is just on the receipt but honestly it’s shitty and easier to forget. So here.” He writes the due date on the sticky note and pauses for just a second before scribbling down ten digits in slightly messier handwriting. He sticks it on the inside cover before he can change his mind. “Here. You’ve got two weeks without renewal or we fine you some money because we need to make money somehow.”

“T-thanks.” Evan takes the book and opens the cover, checking the date. He frowns. “Wh-what’s that one?” He tilts the book so Connor can see what he’s pointing at.

“Haven’t you seen a phone number before?” Connor asks, raising an eyebrow.

Evan’s ears go red. “O-oh! That’s…” He ducks his head, but Connor catches the ghost of a smile. “Th-thank you I…yeah! I’ll uh…see you around? I guess?”

“In case you need help finding a book or something,” Connor says with a shrug.

“O-or something,” Evan repeats. “I’ll see you in school.” He smiles at Connor quickly before rushing out the double glass doors.

Connor grabs Wuthering Heights off the desk and hides his face in it. He’s almost smiling and if anyone sees him smiling that’ll definitely wreck his reputation as the grumpy emo librarian. He doesn’t manage to read any more of the book in the remaining hour of his shift, but he can’t bring himself to care. He’s got a better romance, anyway.

[zcyleeta-blog]

hello buggies!! really sad bc my computer just crashed and I lost what I had already typed of this but second times the charm hopefully. I’m naomi (( she/her || twenty || est )) and these are my characters. I have zaylee zatara, daughter of zatanna zatara, and I also have gunner logan son of garfield logan aka beast boy. yes I gave them names with the same first initial it just felt right. I don’t have their entire backstories down yet but I’ve listed what I do have and some possible connections below. I’d really love to get some connections before we start, so pumped for this.

(zaylee zatara)

No way, is that MAIA MITCHELL? Oh, wait, no, that’s just ZAYLEE ZATARA. They’re about TWENTY years old, and came here from GOTHAM CITY. They’re the daughter of ZATANNA ZATARA. From what i’ve heard, she DID know who their parent was. I don’t know what exactly they’re capable of, but I wouldn’t mess with them, I hear they’re pretty UNPREDICTABLE, MORBID, & IMPETUOUS. Even so, I’ve also heard that they’re CHARMING, WITTY, & INTREPID.

personality; zaylee is a very headstrong and driven girl. she has been raised to be independent and never take no for an answer. she’s extremely smart and almost puts too much effort into achieving her goals. ever since she was young zaylee wanted to be a police officer, getting older and developing powers she realized how useless the profession is in a world full of superheros and how they only dealt with the petty stuff... like parking tickets. none the less her determination kept her going with that court of study and is currently getting her bachelors in criminal justice in gothem as well as a minor in french and latin... like I said, over achiever. zaylee is somewhat of a negative human, she’s certainly a pessimist. she’s the type of girl that loves horror films and wants to ride the biggest roller coaster. she doesn’t particularly like or trust most people, so the ones she does trust she keeps very close.

background; zaylee is gothem city born and raised. she has lived at shadowcrest manor the majority of her life, up until college when she got an apartment in the city. shadow crest manor is the ancestral moving home of the zatara family. it has been just outside the city of gothem since john zatara’s ownership. the building is a very magical building and can move on it’s own and is not visible to most. zaylee has been learning magic at the manor since the age of seven, post her police officer goal phase. zantana has taught her when she has the time but a lot of the studying has been done on her own. part of the reason for zaylee’s un-trusting nature is probably due to the large amounts of time she spent at the manor alone. she had homeschooling until high school. zaylee has never know who her father is and zatanna has made it clear that she doesn’t want her asking. for now she doesn’t quite frankly care who he is.

abilities; zaylee isn’t nearly as powerful as her mother but she does hope to be someday, and with her dedication there’s no doubt to most that she will be. 

telepathy: zaylee works on her telepathy but it’s a very difficult ability to master. for now she can erase memories and strongly persuade someone to do something, however the persuasion can be broken quite easily with intervening.

telekinesis: she can move and obtain objects that are various distances from her using spells. 

deflection: she can deflect oncoming attacks to her, if she has enough time, to eliminate or reduce the attack.

eldritch blast: zaylee can blast enemies with mystical energy. this ability is the one her mother has worked with her most on and she’s quite good at it.

phasing: zaylee can make herself into her "phantom form" and become intangible. this is another ability zatanna has worked with her on. however she’s not particularly strong at it and can only hold the form for a certain amount of time before returning.

healing: zaylee has some healing powers which she just discovered. however it take a ton of energy and she can only do it to herself.

reflection: this is a new power she’s been working on and therefore doesn’t get it correct every time. she can reverse physical trauma so that attacks that come her way will deflect and hit the opponent instead.

possible connections:

- GOTHEM CITY: if your character is form or has been in gothem hmu because zaylee has lived there (( just outside of there )) practically her whole life. - RIVAL/FRENEMY: zaylee is very competitive in nature, so it’s natural that she would feel a rivalry to others. - EX: i have a headcannon for zaylee’s past love life. she had an exboyfriend who was the only guy she ever truly loved, however rumor spread that he was cheating on her. humiliated, because zaylee hates feelings and even letting herself get that close with someone was extreme, she broke up with him on the spot without even hearing him all the way out. he actually wasn’t cheating on her. - BEST FRIENDS: she’s got a bit of an icy exterior but I swear she’s one of the most loyal and loving people to those she holds close. - FAMILY FRIENDS: aye oh justice league children of any kind I’m sure we’ve meet at the work family picnic right justice league probs has those right?? sorry I think I’m funny. also maybe if your parent is a magic user of some sort zatanna is like queen of magic so she probably knows most.

THIS IS WHAT IM THINKING UP OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD BUT ID LOVE TO JUST TALK AND PLOT IF YOURE INTERESTED IN SOMETHING BESIDES THESE PLOTS.

(gunner logan)

No way, is that HARRY STYLES? Oh, wait, no, that’s just GUNNER LOGAN. They’re about TWENTY-ONE years old, and came here from NEW YORK CITY. They’re the son of BEAST BOY. From what i’ve heard, he DID know who their parent was. I don’t know what exactly they’re capable of, but I wouldn’t mess with them, I hear they’re pretty UNRELIABLE, IMPULSIVE, & CAUSTIC. Even so, I’ve also heard that they’re SANGUINE, COMICAL, & LOYAL.

personality; oh god where to even begin with this kid. gunner is probably one of the cheekiest guys you’ll ever meet. he really takes after his father, despite not really knowing him. gunner can make a joke out of almost anything, whether it’s a good joke or not. he’s quite childish, very unreliable, and honestly a bit airy at times. however, the kid will have your back no matter what, he’s a light ball of energy, and he’ll always have a smile on his face. gunner is very flirtatious and it gets him into trouble sometimes. gunner never knew an enemy, he literally trusts everyone. the kid is very gullible so he kinda needs someone to make sure he’s not like accidentally committing crimes for people. gunner is vegetarian like his father, he’s super passionate about animals.

background; garfield was one of those dads that came around every once in awhile to take his son out to the baseball park. gunner had nothing but fond memories with his father growing up, however the memories were minimal. his mother and garfield had a one night stand that resulted in a pregnancy. his mother wasn’t to keen on her future child growing up around a superhero and violence so she kept visits with garfield to a minimum. gunner has been able to bond with his father more so since moving out and making more of an effort to get to know him, especially since he started developing similar abilities. no gunner didn’t ever turn green, but ever since he was young he had a strange connection with animals. as he got older it developed and he was sort of able to read and communicate with animals. this doesn’t mean that he could fully understand them, just pick up on what they might be thinking. at the age of eleven was when he first actually transformed into one. that was around the time when his mother was considering kicking garfield out of his life for good, gunner was determined to find a way to make that not happen--hence figuring out how to shift. the plot worked since gunner couldn’t figure out how to transform back from being a Pomeranian and garfield had to come and help him out. gunner was born and raised in nyc and is currently attending nyu for film production, however he really wants to get out there and fight the bad guys... but his mom keeps trying to hold him back of course.

abilities; since garfield passed down a mutated gene to gunner it has manifested somewhat differently in him.

metamorph: gunner has the ability to morph into various animals. however unlike garfield this has taken tremendous effort. he can’t simply think of an animal and transform. gunner has to almost meditate and focus to transform into a new animal. some he has mastered but others don’t always morph into the objective animal.

gunner has never mastered dinosaurs like his father.

animal telepathy: gunner has a stronger since of telepathy than his father. he has a sixth since with animals, including humans, and can read extremely well. he can’t read minds thought for thought but he can pick up on a general understanding of how their feeling or thinking. because of this he’s also a vegan like his father... can’t have the animals judging him.

martial arts: since from a young age gunner wanted to be like his father, he begged his mom to put him in martial arts and karate. essentially any sort of fighting class he could get her to let him do. he didn’t think he had any powers back then but its paid off really.

possible connections:

- FRENEMIES: gunner is the type to be friends with the enemy?? idk he sees good in everyone and is probably a bit over trusting. he’s probably accidentally join some evil team of some sort not realizing what it was bc they offered him pizza. - BROTP: amigas cheetahs friends for life. -gunner sings as he transforms into a cheetah- I’m actually losing it getting to the end of this post but please bring me those bff plots. - EXES(??): gunner is super flirtatious but has never had what he thought was a serious relationship. I think it would be interesting to see if someone maybe thought they were dating/committed in some way and gunner didn’t even realize. - FAMILY FRIENDS: teen titans and young justice children wya??

SORRY THESE SUCK BUT LIKE THIS AND ILL COME TO YOU TO PLOT OR SLIDE IN MY DMS.

[marvelsstyles]

My thoughts on Infinity War (spoilers)

Okay I've literally just gotten tumblr because i need to fangirl and no one i actually know will understand the hype i had (and continue to have even though i have seen it) for this movie. 

I’ve been looking forward to Infinity War ever since phase 3 was announced and i thought the day where i actually got to see it would never come. I have a crazy investment to these characters and to see them all together was truly phenomenal! Ten years of Marvel built to this movie and you could feel that when watching it. 

For me, Infinity War was everything I wanted and more. I went into it with hardly any expectations but a lot of speculations. What actually happened had me shook to the core. I sobbed so much to the point where after the movie my friends took the piss out of me for crying so much. It made me laugh very loudly. I was shaking and shivering the whole movie with anticipation and anxiety for what would happen next because at times i seriously didn't know. 

I saw Infinity War at 10am on April the 25th and then for a second time again at 10:15pm later that night and i still can't fully process it but here are my thoughts, feelings and opinions on INFINITY WAR: 

......

I don't think I'm going to be able to watch Thor Ragnarok the same ever again. Like this movie legit picks up straight after the wonderful happiness that is Thor 3 and just shits on that warm, light feeling you get in your chest when watching it

I didn't know Heimdall was in the movie so when i first him for a split second i was very excited and happy but then i realised he was going to die and began to get very emotional

Ebony Maw is reallyyyyy creepy

“We have a hulk” had me hollering!!!!!! This is a great call back to the first avengers but also an incredible moment for Loki’s character and development! Going from having that phrase being used by Tony as a threat towards him to Loki having full confidence Hulk has his back! god i love(d) a redeemed king

Thanos going full WWE on hulk oof

Thor and Loki’s relationship is beautifully tragic

Loki calling himself prince of Asgard and Odinson AHHHHHHHHHH :’(

“You will never be a god”

Thor crawling over to Loki’s dead body as this ship breaks apart broke me 

Thor deserves the world 

Bruce saying Thanos is coming sent shivers down my spine

Tony is so cute talking about having a baby stop

Tony literally carries the flip phone with steve’s number in it around!!!!!!!!!!

Even though Ned was on screen for two seconds he so precious! he better not have died 

Bruce not being able to turn into the hulk was great and tony telling wong to look after him

Tony was so fucking sassy omg and Strange was not having it

��Squidward” BITCH I CHOCKED AAHFUDFHAIWOEF

Tony and Peter fighting Cull Obsidian cracking jokes, having a lil convo like it was just another day, another problem 

Peter is so pure every time i saw him the second time i watched my stomach dropped 

Wong owning Cull Obsidian and transporting him!!

“Wong you’re invited to my wedding”

When peter pulled off his mask going up into space oof my boy looked so good in this movie

The iron spider suit is sooooooooooo cool holy shit

AND Stark’s nano iron man suit is wicked

So much happens in this movie i forget when what happens but lets talk about Wanda and Vision yo they're actually so frickin cute!!

Vision getting all nervous and stumbling over his words

“I feel you” :’(

I jumped when Vision was stabbed

Wanda is so powerful

WHEN STEVE CAME OUT OF THE SHADOWS OOOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE ONE (1) MAN!!!!!! THE WHOLE CINEMA GOT SO HYPED WHEN HE CAME

Nat is wonderful, the loml, she looks like a whole snacc

So happy to see Falcon back 

Love seeing the CA:WS trio back again they work so well together!

When i heard music playing i got so happy!! i knew the guardians were coming 

Gamora grooving and singing along god we didn't deserve her but she deserved better

Starmora was beautiful in this movie but once again totally fucking tragic 

Quill getting jealous over Thor

‘Rabbit” !!!!!!!!!!!

The Thor and Gamora moment was so pure god we really don't deserve them two

Every interaction between Thor and Peter Quill was hilarious 

Thor, Groot and Rocket: a trio I never knew i wanted

Again I have lost where we are but lets talk about Tony and Spidey god i love their relationship 

“Have you seen this really old movie Alien”

Again Ebony Maw is actually real scary (and very preachy) but lol when he died 

Strange saying he’ll sacrifice Tony and Peter to save the stone but later giving up the stone for tony 

Also quickly while Im on that if people are confused as to why he just gave up the stone this is my theory or what i took away from it so basically when Strange went forward in time and saw they could only win one way and then they fail, the next best scenario is not letting Tony or Nebula die because they're deaths would be useless. Thanos was always going to get all the stones and do the snap, killing half the universe but tony wasn't one of them so it would have been a useless death having tony die protecting the stone hence why Strange gave it up (sorry if this doesn't make sense, it does in my head aha)

Peter again just being pure and so happy when he finally becomes an avenger (which only lasts a day...)

Falcon asking where to go and Cap saying “home” :’)

Cap basically telling Ross to fuck off ooooooof go off 

Nat’s face lighting up when she sees Bruce (i don't ship it, i just love seeing nat happy)

Cap being a concerned smol bean who i love 

T’Challa!!!!!! He didn't have much screen time which is understandable since his movie legit just came out

The White Wolf i love it

Gamora’s flashback was so sad

It killed me when Gamora was asking Quill to kill her if Thanos took her and making him swear on his mother’s life

AND FINALLY THEIR KISS

DRAX THINKING HE’S INVISIBLE

I literally thought Gamora killed him for a second but i knew it was too good to be true

“You should have gone right”

God Chris Pratt’s acting killed me in this! It was phenomenal!!!! I seriously did not expect it from him! The pain he was able to show on his face when he was going to kill Gamora was gut wrenching 

It was great to see the reality stone used like that

THEIR I LOVE YOUS

AND GAMORA’S BREAKDOWN WHEN SHE THOUGHT SHE KILLED THANOS I WAS A MESS

Thor deserves the whole cosmos he has lost so much

Chris Hemsworth’s acting was amazing when he was having that convo with rocket

And seeing rocket act so compassionate and empathetically was wonderful 

TYRION

Gamora telling Thanos how much he made her hate her life AGAIN SHE DESERVED BETTERRRRRRR

NEBULA MY POOR BABY

Nebula and Gamora another beautifully tragic sibling relationship

Loved that the soul stone was somewhere new and not anything like what everyone was speculating 

Red skull i was shook!!! i knew he had been teleported somewhere and not dead!!!!

I SOBBED WHEN GAMORA WAS SACRIFICED SHE DESERVED BETTER 

ZOE IS ALSO AN AMAZING ACTRESS 

THE SCORE IN THE BACKGROUND

THE SCENE WAS TRAGIC AND SO UNSATISFYING GOD SHE DIDNT DESERVE TO DIE LIKE THAT AT THANOS BENEFIT GODDDDDD

“LITTLE ONE” I HATE HIM BUT HONESTLY THIS BROKE ME

The fight between part of the guardians and Tony, Spidey and Strange was AMAZING IT WAS SUPER SHORT BUT MADE SO GIDDY!!!! It reminded me of the airport scene in civil war!!!

“I’ll do YOU one better. Why is Gamora?”

“i can take it” “no he can't” i love drax

The banter was gold 

When Strange said there was one good outcome I flipped 

Cap and T’Challa’s relationship is so pure i love it

Okoye is my love

Rhodes pranking Bruce ahhh i love my pure children

Bucky and Cap!!!!!!

Shuri being the smartest bitch out!!!!!

“Vision get your ass back on that table”

M’Baku calling T’Challa his brother :’)

T’Challa, Cap and Nat pissing off the Black Order issa mood

The Wakanda battle was wicked

Thor swinging Rocket’s ship around and continuing to call him rabbit

Thor literally taking on the force and heat of a star 

Teen groot picking up the scorching hot Stormbreaker axe (lowkey making him worthy) and making Thor a handle and saving his life

When Thor, Rocket and Groot teleported to Earth i literally squealed!!! For me this was one of the best moments of the film!!! And then Thor just started whooping ass!!!! He truly is the strongest avenger, physically and psychologically. 

Thor and Cap’s little moment i love them 

“this is my friend tree” “i am groot” “i am steve rogers”

Wanda coming down and saving the day oooof

OKOYE, NAT AND WANDA THE TRIO I HAVE BEEN DREAMING OF

Bruce in the hulk buster suit was amazing and hilarious, okoye’s little side eye of judgement

I was so worried about Shuri when ugly (don't remember his name lol) came for vision

The fight on Titan against Thanos was spectacular and thrilling 

Spidey again so pure and innocent stop pls

My heart was racing, i was on the edge of my seat when they nearly got the gauntlet off his hand

AND THEN WHEN QUILL FOUND OUT ABOUT GAMORAS DEATH AND TONY WAS TRYING TO CALM HIM DOWN I WAS LITERALLY GOING INTO CARDIAC ARREST!!!! PETER’S FACE AHHHHHHHH 

Spidey being pure af and apologising for not remembering everyone’s name i can’t 

When tony was stabbed i thought this was it 

PETER’S FACE WHEN HE ASKED “DID WE JUST LOSE?”

“We are out of time”

Everyone lining up to fight Thanos and just getting defeated so easily

Wanda destroying the mind stone and killing vision had me a complete crying mess

“I feel you” and the “i love you”

CAP HOLDING THANOS OFF THEN GETTING KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT HAD ME SO SCARED FOR MY BOY BUT I KNEW HE DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH SCREEN TIME TO DIE

Wanda destroying the mind stone AND holding back thanks GOD SHE IS POWERFUL!!!!!!

When Thanos walked up to Wanda and started consoling her and calling her his child i thought he was going to take her and she was going to become the villain 

BUT THEN HE TURNED BACK TIME AND GOT THE STONE AND KILLED VISION AGAIN WHICH MEANT WANDA WAS PUT THROUGH ALL THAT PAIN FOR LITERALLY NOTHING AND AGAIN HAD TO SEE HIM DIE

HER “NO” WAS SO CHILLING

THORRRRRR OVERPOWERING THE FUCKING INFINITY GAUNTLET FULL OF ALL SIX INFINITY STONES AND FUCKING LODGING THAT AXE INTO THANOS’ CHEST

“I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING TO KILL YOU” 

WHEN THANOS STARTED SAYING YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE FOR THE HEAD I KNEW I JUST KNEW

SNAP

OOF

EVERYTHING after this moment was so hectic but so so so uncomfortably calm and eerie. No dramatic scores, no crazy reactions, the avengers literally react the same as we do

Baby Gamora :’((((

“What did it cost” “Everything”

“What have you done?”

The gauntlet busted and destroyed just like my mind

Cap being so utterly confused asking Thor where Thanos went pained me 

Bucky’s last words literally being “steve”, reaching out for him, collapsing, disappearing before steve’s eyes. Steve kneeling down placing his hand on where he was (i don't ship them romantically, their friendship is just so incredibly important and it killed me)

T’Challa fucking fading away i was shoooooooook and still crying and Okoye being so confused and concerned

Rocket having to watch his best friend Groot die again

FALCON!!!!!! 

WANDA LOOKED SO RELIEVED TO DIE SHE DESERVED BETTER

NAT RUNNING IN SO CONFUSED CAP SITTING NEXT TO VISIONS DEAD BODY

MANTIS DISAPPEARING AND DRAX DISAPPEARING CALLING OUT TO QUILL 

QUILL 

STRANGE JUST FADING AWAY

NOW THE PART THAT KILLED ME THE PART THAT TOM HOLLAND DESERVES A FUCKING OSCAR FOR THE PART THAT PROVES HE IS THE BEST SPIDERMAN (IMO) “TONY I DONT FEEL SO WELL” COLLAPSES INTO TONY’S ARM SAYING HE DOESNT WANT TO GO AND DOESNT WANT TO DIE TONY NOT BEING ABOUT TO DO ANYTHING TO SAVE THIS POOR KID PETER DYING TELLING TONY HE’S SORRY I CANT I CANT I CANT I WAS CRYING SO MUCH AND SO LOUD I HAD TO COVER MY MOUTH

NEBULA JUST LOOKING DEFEATED AS HELL “HE’S DONE IT”

TONY HOLDING HIMSELF AS HE HAS FACED HIS WORST FEAR EVERYONE DYING BUT HE IS STILL ALIVE AND HE THINKS IT HIS FAULT 

“OH GOD” SAME CAP SAME

THANOS SITTING DOWN WATCHING THE SUN RISE ON A ‘BALANCED’ UNIVERSE 

CUT TO BLACK, ROLL TO THE BLANDEST SADDEST CREDITS EVER WHICH NOW MATCHES MY MOOD (I'm not bagging out the credits i thought it was very effective for the movie)

POST CREDIT SCENE CAPTAIN MARVEL BITCHES HURRY UP BRIE LARSON 

Well that was it. This literally took me like 3+ hours to write and I'm not even finished. Before i go i want to talk about the main character

THANOS

IMO he is the best marvel villain ever. A thoroughly deep and complex character with a fleshed out motive and backstory. I understood him and for a slight millisecond felt a bit of sympathy for him. This was his story. The relationship between him and Gamora is so complex and compelling (and extremely toxic I'm so sad gamora had to be put through that). I understand he may be different from the comics but this version was great. From the very beginning we were shown just how powerful he is. Over this movie i actually believe he had a slight character development. BUT god do i fucking hate him he has killed and hurt all my faves! The purple grape ballsack can choke when hopefully Thor, Nebula and Tony get their revenge with a little help from Captain Marvel and the rest of the avengers. 

AND QUICKLY SUMMING UP MY FAVE PARTS

THE SNAP

Thor, Groot and Rocket landing on Earth

Cap coming out of the shadows

Guardians vs Avengers

Starmora kiss

Now to wait a whole god damn year until Avengers 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!