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kazbrekkerrs-remade · 4 years

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ekrjhak i lov eu and to further enable you: ur thoughts on blue, gansey, ronan and adam and henry? and their group dynamic????? 👀👀👀

Wow this took me ages sorry dfjfhd. Claire... u enable me too much these are my onions <3. Under a cut because I went. overboard :3. I’m probably going to have to shorten this I don’t know if tumblr will even let me post something this long dkshjfhg. (Also I wrote half of this in word so if there’s proper capitalization in places that’s why, don’t let it cloud my image as a cool, laid-back bitch that doesn’t care for grammar.)

i’m starting individually then moving onto group dynamics heh

blue i like blue but it did take a bit of growing on me djjdjhjss. i like her a lot bc i relate to her a lot, but i do think there was a lot of room for improvement. she said she wanted to see the world and make it better but how exactly.. is that a roadtrip? i mean i guess it’s a start in a way, but i think it would’ve been much better if we saw her join an activist organization.. volunteer for a non-profit or something. Also her misguided feminism ah! But I can be a bit more lenient with that bc she was still very young when the series ended so. Also she was revealed to be part tree and then like. Nothing substantial came of it? idk

Ganseyboy! I have to be honest my.. fave uwu. There is a Lot of room for improvement but I just. Optimist!! insecurities :( also he KNEW he was gonna d*e I’m. sad. Anyway like I said a lot of room for improvement as in like.. not everything is about you king <3 also he needs more… idk I don’t wanna say empathy bc i think that’s something different but like. He needs to realise that what he thinks is best isn’t gonna be the way everyone deals with something, if that makes sense? Like basically the “how do you know what’s good for me?” “THAT’S MY OPINIOOONNNNN!!” vine. THAT SAID I love him so much.. he held up the mouse to his face! And smiled!! mon dieu.. when he made bird jokes to make adam laugh… “am I in your dreams?” AH! In a way, blue and gansey are sons of the same gun: I love them both but there could be more done with them tbh. But I have a lot of fun with Fansey, a.k.a: fatima gansey. Kind of like fanon gansey except no one’s opinion matters besides mine <3 (basically it’s the *aggressively kicks off shoes* “yee haw”, parts of gansey, and then me giving him the arc he deserves) maybe we could sum it up to “ma’am that’s my emotional support projection character” but like. That’s my business.

ADAM! Previous endorsements include: “might fuck around and become an adam parrish stan account.” “I’ve only had adam for a day and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.” “I go :D whenever I see it’s an adam chapter” (these are more or less verbatim from my previous posts.) that said, I don’t have many fully formed thoughts because I uhhh don’t remember the books that well and also I repress the adam chapters bc they hit too close oops :). tbh I don’t have many complaints at all heh. That’s not to say he doesn’t have flaws but a) I will excuse them because he’s justified, adam does anything problematique and I’m like he can have a little murder. As a treat. and b) I genuinely loved his arc so. No complaints for real!! Also.. adam realising he is capable of loving and being loved…. *kermit meme* I have nearly teared up while writing this. :( one more half baked thought: trc having being “known” as a mark of being loved but then adam being like “i am unknowable” and then there was a moment of him with ronan like “how foolish of him to think he was unknowable”.... *kermit hearts meme intensifies*

RONAN O CLOCK to be honest. I. don’t have any meta or complaints I just love him. I love him a LOT okay.. very much. Big love. Sharp edges tough guy but he names his dream animals chainsaw and gasoline and has a pooping blanket for chainsaw… I can’t remember the quote but that but in cdth where he was like the point is dreamer or not if people are going to get hurt I’m going to stop it… Much to think about. HIS GROWTH. IN THE DREAM THIEVES wow can you believe I read him in TRB and was like ‘I don’t care for him’ ddhfjdhf and then in the dream thieves I’m like.. I have rescinded all previous callouts of ronan lynch. Oops. HE LOVES HIS FRIENDS SO MUCH oh my gosh. Ronan just… he has so much range for feeling!! he feels so much!!! I love that about him so much omg

Henry. Ah. This is where we get kind of controversial jdhjdfh I’m sorry but. I’m going to be honest I like him well enough as a character but I don’t care for him much I’m sorry I just. It’s because he was introduced so late. And only became an important character towards like.. the last half of TRK? I mean, I’d have loved him if he was introduced earlier, hell at least have him come into play in BLLB. The issues I have with him isn’t because of anything about him as a character though, I think it’s all about the way he was handled. I think because he came in so late, there just wasn’t enough time to do justice to the depth that he had, or give him an arc or anything, or enough time to connect with him. Also a part of me feels like he was in there just to kind of tie up Blue and Gansey’s stories and give them something to do after the end of TRK (which sucks because like… making your only canon POC being primarily to develop/give your white characters storylines… (blue isn’t white in my mind but like she was written “colorblind” and when that happens it usually means the author viewed them as white at least in the beginning jhfhgfj. but i don’t remember it too well so if i’m wrong lmk please!)). But probably my biggest problem is: I couldn’t help get the vibe that MS was facing criticism for the lack of diversity and so decided to bring in an asian character. Like, I feel that way bc he came in so late, and because of that he was so half-baked I’m.. gah. GAH. That’s unfair maybe henry is a cool dude hdhfg but I just can’t warm up to him because of this :/

Group dynamics!! With the gangsey I have to *sobs* I love them so much I’m.. what a strange constellation they all were <3

blue and ronan!! BROnan amirite… omg. That moment when blue nearly slips and ronan immediately catches n holds on to her… she would have to remember that :( sons of the same gun. Best friends!

Blue and adam.. gah. As friends it really goes hard. Get you someone who will stab you if you fall too deep into the nether-realm <3 but uhh. As dates. YIKES. Blue really just. Kissed noah while dating him. And didn’t even think for a second “I have a bf” :( not very cool of her to tell gansey about the kiss curse but not telling adam which I mean, I know that happened to show that they weren’t a good match but. Still yikes. Blue was lowkey cheating on adam the whole time during tdt huh :( also bro I am number one stan of the “I wish you could be kissed jane” scene but it happened literally RIGHT AFTER she broke up with adam I’m. relax <3. I wish that was kind of addressed but meh, overall it doesn’t bother me too much. I think they’re great friends :)

Ronan and adam… I can’t talk about it too much. I really can’t!! I really really can’t! the fact that adam goes to gansey like what is love and gansey is like she makes me quiet… and then adam is like “he was so still inside”.. :( omg the bit during trb when ronan is going on a swearing tirade and adam is like “they didn’t start making the civic until ‘73 <3” what a JACKASS I love him. Second secret!! --okay! Wait I have to say: while this one is not really a big deal compared to all their other moments, my favourite quote is “ and he realised that while he’d been looking at ronan, ronan had been looking at him” :uwu face:

Blue and gansey: :3 :33333 maybe it’s the muslim but I really like the tragedy of not being able to kiss :( I would beg just one off you! Under all this! Maybe I’m crying because of the inherent romantic-ness of the night sky with all its stars and late night drives :( wow I love them. Also i know most people find it annoying but I personally love the “I’m never gonna fall for this person” *fast forward to getting to know each other* “ahahah. :) I have rescinded all callouts of ____. she is now my girlfriend (long story)” (not to be confused with enemies to lovers <3 (not to be confused with enemies to friends to lovers <3)) also they can kiss now thank you very much.

Okay I will just preface this with: gansey’s relationships with both ronan and adam have the “how do you know what’s good for me” element to them so I don’t have to address it later hdfgjlfj but bro they love each other so much I’m… “dream me the world… something new for ever night” you’re leaving for TWO DAYS.. gansey gave up monmouth omg what became of that I really forgot khffhk did he get it back. I don’t even need to elaborate on ronan, “ronan would do anything for gansey” :(

ADAM AND GANSEY I been WAITNG for this one! Turn it up! Bro if you saw the whole face I made when I realised it was time for this kdhfhfkhu this is so loaded despite the fact that I cant articulate it <3 the.. idk what to call them. Parallels? Foils? I didn’t take lit sorry but he RANGE we could have had there… remember when gansey was shocked in trk bc :0 you guys came with me and also “they had run for him”. bro their whole relationship had so much. Tension because of their different backgrounds and fundamentally different outlooks because of their backgrounds, and I think if we had seen them properly connect then both of them could have grown from that. I know we see adam understanding gansey a bit better I don’t remember when that happened but I know it did at some point hhdsf but gansey.. never does! Huff and puff. It’s really so FRUSTRATING to me bc that could have key development for gansey but also for adam and gansey’s relationship. And also I feel like we didn’t.. see them try either? Which is so frustrating like idk if it’s a fault on stiefvater’s part or just with YA lit in general that platonic relationships are kind of ignored. Or maybe it’s because idk I remember ms saying she had a lot of issues while writing trk.. but still. We could have really had it all but instead I have to live with “don’t break him adam” I’m (: ok but now I must lighten the mood hjsdhf so might I add: when one of them sees the principal in his crazy funky junky hat and goes “yee haw”… when gansey is like :DDD hey ADAM guess WHAT and adam is like ? and gansey is like oh it was a fully casual problem with the ALTERNATOR of my car of COURSE it was the alternator, it was really simple and I fixed it with much ease :D and adam is like :’D felt like the had hatched a baby bird.. my uwus. ADAM! give me an idea! ALSO if anyone will allow me to venture into adansey territory…. the fact that adam is cabeswater’s magician and gansey now.. is cabeswater in a way. MUCH to think about. I still spend a lot of time thinking about the dryad au the problem is I have never been to progress past the “vague concept” stage of stories and this is why I don’t write dhfjhfdhf. But yes. I think about it often :3

i also like the henry with the gang, i think it could work really well but once again it wasn’t given the time for me to really see it :( also. ronan being racist. and adam laughing along with that. why was that included, ms turn on your location i just wanna talk

okay once again thank you for enabling me claire and i’m so sorry for this monster dsjkhfjkdhg

#aha. am i more than you bargained for yet <3 #claire tag #asks #mutuals #anyway if for some reason you ever wanted a comprehensive guide on my thoughts on the trc characters here it is <3 #though it's not really comprehensive kjhdsjkhfg #when i reread trc. and remember it this time. then you will know #anyway this took me three weeks sdhfkjdfh sorry

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vios-rockland-corner · 5 years

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Dollmaker Talk PT 2

*snaps fingers* Guess what? I got the “okay” sign to talk a little bit more about Runawayoutlaw’s unfinished Dollmaker build.

That means yes I will be going into my thoughts about the characters and setting this time. I focused on Dollmaker being outside the Rockland canon and the game mechanics last time.

(MAJOR spoilers below for the unfinished Dollmaker build)

First of all, what is the plot of Dollmaker? Well the MC this time around is a medical student attending a seminar that day on improving relations between demons and humans for the greater good. One of the very speakers at the lecture is none other than Dr. Sano Kojima. The MC apparently catches his eye and you two seem to get along fairly well considering you admire him for his position (he’s a demon ambassador) and he appreciates that you seem to be specializing in demons for your medical degree. All seems to be going well and you look forward to discussing the profession with him more...only to get caught off guard when he knocks you out and brings you to his home. The atmosphere quickly changes when you wake up and he cuts straight to point that his main goal is turn you into a human doll! He puts a binding spell on you so you can’t escape the house, but he gives you the freedom to walk about as you please.

That’s pretty much the gist of the game. From there it’s about exploration and getting to know the inhabitants of the house, and on rare occasions, seeing some visitors.

Sano Kojima

As I stated in my previous post, both Sano and Akira have been introduced beforehand in BTD. This game was meant to revamp the characters and stories. For the most part, I’d say personality wise that Sano stays very similar to his BTD counterpart. He’s very calm and professional. He’s very much into his research and appreciates compliance from the MC. He can still kill you in this, but the only such ending I found is if you fight back repeatedly right away. Like I said, he prefers compliance. He is probably one of the more sane of the three main house inhabitants and possibly the nicest? It’s hard to say when I feel like both Sano and Annabelle’s routes weren’t quite finished yet. That or I haven’t found everything yet.

I will say compared to the BTD game, Sano here doesn’t show nearly as much sadism or malice. He DOES still want to turn you into a doll though, but again I don’t think his route was fully finished (or I haven’t found the right paths yet). I didn’t get a full ending with him completing the doll transformation, so other than the beginning, we don’t get to delve into that obsession as much as I would have liked. I remember playing BTD and getting that one ending and thinking, “Oh! I love that concept, I wish I could have seem more of the character focused on that.” Dollmaker is obviously supposed to do that, but the creator didn’t get around to the finishing touches. I kept getting stuck in the same loops with “Sano’s route,” so I can’t say much else.

Annabelle Winter

Annabelle is a brand new character. There’s a bio for her luckily in the game to explain some of who she is (a former lead singer), but otherwise I probably was able to get the least information about her in the game. I remember some notes about her one tumblr way back when Dollmaker was being developed. Basically, she’s supposed to be Sano’s “first doll.” You, the MC, would then end up being the second doll. You can tell this really doesn’t sit well with Annabelle, even if I couldn’t get much more information about her feelings in the game. There’s a conversation between Akira and her you can spy on, but you really aren’t quite sure what’s happening. Her room was also always locked for me. I don’t know if the programming for it all hadn’t been completed like Sano’s wasn’t, or I just wasn’t performing the correct actions.

The existence of Annabelle is interesting though because then it does make you ask questions like: What’s her relationship with Sano? Are they lovers or something else? Is she jealous that he’s making a new doll? Does Sano plan to throw Annabelle out after he has you? Does this mean the MC could also get tossed out later? What’s her relationship with Akira? Stuff like that adds more tension to the atmosphere. On the plus side, at least you know Sano’s successfully turned someone into a doll before, so you know the procedure should go fine (yay?). Personality wise, I didn’t have enough to go off of to get a real good idea of what she’s like. She can be a little bitter and creepy, that’s for sure, but also talks sensibly with someone like Akira. It’s hard to say.

Akira Kojima

Ah Akira! Probably the character that was the closest to completion in my opinion. That doesn’t mean his whole path WAS complete, but compared to Sano (one death ending vs. couldn’t progress) and Annabelle (hardly any progression and no ending found), Akira actually had decent introductions, quality time with the MC and an ending. Granted, it was mostly the ONE ending...but I kind of loved it and it wasn’t a death ending at least. Before I get into that, what’s he like in Dollmaker? Well he definitely has more of a domineering and feisty personality I’d say, contrasting nicely with Sano. He also can be both naughty and tender I’d say when it comes to romance. He can be pretty sensitive at times. You also learn he’s a contract killer in this game, but he doesn’t seem to really enjoy the work. That’s the only major hint I’d say of the guy being unhappy. I remember during the development process it was hinted that Akira has a LOT of baggage in this universe. Baggage unfortunately that seems to make unstable enough that he will completely flip his lid if he thinks someone is turning on him. What I’m saying is...the dude actually has a yandere ending XD I’m not joking. For those who know of my main blog and are probably thinking, “Did YOU enjoy that?” the answer is obviously HECK YES! See what happens is if you get too cozy with Akira, apparently that makes him latch onto you.

I swear to god when I played my first run, I was NOT trying to make him jealous. I thought there was more to do so I didn’t think it was a big deal if I didn’t wake him in bed (it seemed rude to me), go to the kitchen and compliment Sano’s eye. But those Telltale mechanics from the last post I talked about? This is where I realized too late they were hinting that Akira gets VERY aware of what you do in the house once he starts to like you. He doesn’t like it AT ALL if you either seem like you’re trying to leave or get friendly with anyone else then. He goes full “snap.” What he does is try to “train you” so that you agree the MC belongs to him and him alone then. I love how he does it actually because I find it pretty realistic. Yeah he gets really rough with you initially once he’s snapped, but the big thing is he throws you into a large closet. He just leaves you with a bucket and nothing else. And then he makes NO CONTACT with you. You go through...who knows how many days with occasional bottles of water or food placed on the floor without Akira talking to you or even you seeing him. Depending on your actions, sometimes he’ll pop in to check on you, but if you show that your spirit isn’t broken yet, he goes back to the no contact. He’s essentially driving the MC insane through isolation. It’s very simple but incredibly effective. Imagine literally being given nothing to do for days on end with limited food and water and just a bucket to relieve yourself in. It can start to wear on you. Humans are social creatures too (we NEED other people). I love MC’s with stronger spirits actually that don’t bend to a yandere’s whims all that easily. So yeah, I kept the MC yelling and tried to just hold out as long as I could. This puts you in a loop though and Outlaw did a nice little touch where there’s this static effect over the screen when you continue to make decisions. This helps to emphasize how monotonous this routine is becoming for the MC and you really feel less of the urge to fight back anymore. I can see why the MC broke in the end. Once they are broken, Akira comes to collect you and that’s pretty much the end.

Obviously I loved playing through Akira’s path the most. I will do one small critique here since...I’m kind of a nut about yanderes. I think it would have been nice to have a FEW more hints before Akira’s “snap” that he suffers from something like anxiety or separation over losing people. There might have been some and I just got lost in the build maze finding this information XD Like I said, I knew he had baggage (and even lost a lover) from the creator’s tumblr page during development, but I think it would have been nice to have some hints like that in the game. Just food for thought in case they want to try another yandere character in the future. Some people don’t like if you pull a “yandere snap” out of nowhere without at least dropping some kind of hint of instability with the character prior. I mean I’ll always enjoy yandere endings regardless honestly XD It depends on how serious you want to take it though. This situation was different than say Marcus from Till Death Do Us Part only because....that game basically is ALL about the “snap” there (no real progression to it like in Dollmaker). You had just enough backstory (The MC and Marcus are divorced and Marcus gives you nightmares) that him coming back as the ex from hell isn’t surprising. People can fill in the blanks and fantasize all they want there about what went wrong with the relationship beforehand. With Akira, you’re seeing the relationship progression play out, so there’s a little more pressure to make the “snap” a little more believable.

I don’t know how fair it is to critique an] game that’s clearly not finished though 0.o

There’s was other stuff in the game I enjoyed like all the little Easter eggs with the plants and paintings, and Cain even popped up briefly in a bad end :P There was other stuff I also didn’t learn about though like Mio (sorry I scared you lol), but it is what it is.

Still a nice treat.

#dollmaker #runawayoutlaw #Sano Kojima #akira kojima #annabelle winter #unfinished build

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ne-fe-li-bata · 4 years

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Aye yo CORPSE! ...

Dead ass;

You can't convince me that Corspe was/is/does ;

in no particular order..

• Deserve to be held ( I would smother him with my chest and hold him tighter than he has ever been held) & protected from this world

• Pyro! Mans loves🔥🔥🔥 - mostly his fav elemental (Leo is a fire sign); “WOOO... now that’s a fire!”

• Loves knives/weapons- has a collection (quite a nifty 1, ay thank-a-you) & even knows how to use butterfly knives/ tackle combat.

Has a collection of weapons (brass knuckle, daggers, swords, knives,etc.)

• Highly interested in combat/training. Most likely has training in some sort of combat. Loves any form of physical combat < UFC,MMA, Boxing, any type of martial arts>

• Absolute proper gentlemen / clearly has the utmost charm/cunning

I.e holds the door open & will slap yo ass on the way in, moves you away from street side when walking, pulls chairs, defends your honor, etc.

• Takes A . L . O . T to truly capture his attention- but once you have it ..%100

• With his person; protective/obsessives/ possessive/ sensual/ affectionate .

< mine is mine. me no share -like absolutely not at all>

“ You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down for ya“

• RP'er on DeviantArt/chats had his own OC. (also prob had his fav person to RP with)

• Watched mostly nothing by anime/cartoons (nick/CN) as a kid & also mostly watched certain shows/movies as a kid well into his teens

(could recite quotes/scenes as second nature)

• Not a major musical theatre type of kid. But musical movies/shows was 1 of his favs- but still highly interested/ in love with theatre/musicals/preforming arts none the less.

-EYES DON’T LIE

•’staring problem’ he’d just stare at you -deep in his head (both good & bad) you’d have to bring him back to you ..”babe- eh, come *snap*back to me. What’s on your mind my love?’

• Genuinely a really warm person- but only to certain people, but comes across cold & distance

• Grew up in the internet & knows the way around the 'business' & 'faceless' YouTubers/celebrities

• His teens/ late adolescents consisted & grew up on YouTube O.G videos/ video game commentary/content;

Cry.. <Cry was a huge part of my life & still hold a special place in my heart. Corspe just like I was most likely devastated with the shit that went down>

Jack

Nova

Sp00n

Jontron

Smosh

Nigahiga

Shane

Jenna

Hanna Hart

Phil/Dan

KevJumba

Ray William Johnson

Pewds

Machinima

EMT

ERB

Wassabi Prod.

VlogBros,

-etc

• Has an oral fixating (lovebites indefinitely <like dead ass ya’ll be chillan/ out & he’d attack you> & just needs something in his mouth always)

• Fidgety af, always need to be playing with something in his hands/playing with

• Is a goddamn absolute certified freak--but also super soft bean boi. (can't stress how this boi needs& deserves to be protected)

• Constant hand/arm touching/stroking for comfort.

• Daddy{papi} / Mommy(mamá) . Master . Sir kink - hard control kinks- but highly sub.

hard(er) kinks

• Lovebites = M I N E

obvs fishnets/ crossbody straps/ lingerie

lace

collars/ restraints

toys

•RP

degrading/praising

sub/dom switch

showing/proving your actually/completely & utterly his/ he’s completely & utterly yours..

& of course you know it's go time when 1 - if not both of you has kitty ears on.

over stim

*no touchy/ don’t let me go*

“look at what I’ve done to you”

“you kno only I can do this to you”

“look how greedy you are for me”

“look at the mess you’ve made because of me’

“cum on my face”/’cum for me”

“who do you belong to” / “you belong to me & only me”

100% all black clothing 🖤

*that once we get home / I swear I’ll deal with you right here, right now* look

primal play “when you run from me, it only makes me want you more” “you know imma find you kitten”

pet names (beast< i feel like you call this man “ (a) beast”-he about to lose his absolute fucking mind> , “oh Corpse/______, you absolute fuckin’ beast- my God” kitten, babyboy/girl, baby(e), bae, my love, lover boy, my darling, slut, needy little bitch, cum slut, lil’ whore, master/mistress, king/queen”

“only yours” “just ______” “ no-one but _____” “only____” “only you”

‘I’ll keep you so no one can find you or bother us’

“that’s my girl” / “that's my boy”

“would you like to/ I saw----”

“look at me” “don’t look away from me”

GROWLING / talking through clenched jaw

not breaking eye contact

• his name & ‘Corspe’ being cried out

“cry out my name for me baby. know who you belong to”

video/sexing/teasing

breeding kink

voyeurism

abrasions

aftercare af

impact play

24/7

edging

accidental stim; “holy fuck- I’m so turned on by you rn”

rope bondage

begging

worships

• But also soft kinks;

MEME SENDING

head on lap/chest

naps

playing with hair

matching outfits

voice messages

always touching (somehow)

no space between bodies

picture taking together/ just of you

body rubs, head rubs

massages

competition

play fighting

“this reminded me of you”

“I remember you said” “I know you...”

“you know I love you”

“I can tell by your eyes”

“ugh- I swear to shit imma marry you 1 day”

“nothing really made sense until you”

“do you wanna watch”/ “WAIT!? YOU HAVEN’T SEEN?!”

“damn- you really do love/like me, eh?”/ “you are SO fucking mine”

“that’s my girl”/ “that's my boy”

pet names/ “MY_______” “YOURS”

long stares

dates- stay at home dates are his fav, as your attention/focus is just on him

choker/necklace/ jewelry (that 1 of you bought- NOT LIKE HIGH PRICE TAG, but like seen it & was like ‘omg ____ would so wear...’)

cuddles with movies /anime watching time

just being in the same room/on call- even in silence

* emojis*- just some sort of communication

inside jokes/ puns/dark humor

seeing 1 another with kids

future kink (family, travel, etc)

playing video games

dancing/ singing with 1 another

Sitting on the ground, wrapped around his leg when he streams/edits

Nerf gun fights

Watching him record (tracks/editing/streaming)

• Loves- loves surprises <like dead ass would set up a surprise date/ do a scavenger hunt for you/ surprise you with your fav thing>

• Loyalty is everything & his best attribute (& pride)

• The music that he make is from the soul/heart. He pit everything has has/what he has left into his art

• No one has seen the real him - a side he truly hides

• He's both book & street smart

Taught himself through YouTube/Reedit/online

• Fav actors; Jim Carrey/Robbin Williams/Will Smith (?)

• Man’s straight up dangerous. we only know like a quarter of him & people fall at his feet. ( h e . i s . n o t . t o . b e. F U C K E D . w i t h)

• Hates silence

( constantly needs background noise) <also can't fight me on this babyboi cuddles pillows/blankets for night-night time>

• People don't understand the pain he is in every day, unless they have fibromyalgia/GERD/high functioning (sever social)anxiety/depression/ agoraphobia

(my mom suffers with fibro/depression <I myself have GERD/ sever social amenity/depression>& I wouldn't wish those illness on my worse enemy...)

• Over all pain has changed him

• Has dealt with self harm since a young age- most likely 9- 11 yrs old. (as someone else who’s suffered with SH for years- when you become so numb it 1 of the only ways to feel some sort of anything/makes you feel like you’re alive)

• Addiction (drugs/people/things)

• Wrote & read a lot of fanfiction

(most likely his main source of reading in pre/teenage years)

• Is a hopeless romantic but has his guard way up

• Obsessed with Japan / Studio Ghibli

• Doesn't think he deserves any of the recognition/ fame he's gotten--but definitely deserves it all as he's creative & inspirational as fuck. Also he’s worked so hard for it & had put himself through so much

Contrary is highly appreciative of those that are supporting

• Doesn't do it for the fame but for the fact he know how he's gotten people through hard time (just like those on the internet got him through)

• Was a scene boy that vibe’d of myspace/ listens to a lot of ‘scene’ pop-punk, emo/ scene band shit (band?)

• Also is/was a major tumblr boy

• Would be a phenomenal father

• His love language: physical touch & words of affirmation

• He would flinch at touch movement but would melt in your hands

• Face caresses would trigger anxiety/ tears.. but once he’s calmed/comfortable would burry his face in your touch. neck & chest

• Still caught up in daydreams

• A part of him is still never satisfied even if it’s exactly to the pin point detail of what he wanted

• Has at least 40/50(ish) songs he hasn't released

• Mommy & daddy issues (not saying his home life was really- really fucked - but non the less- it certainly wasn't the best).. Also wants to protect/provide for his family (especially his sister) & was prob closer to a grandparent/aunt/uncle)

• Definitely prefers to be by himself, as every time people come around, it's like;‘"this is why I'm okay (ish)with being alone"

• lost an important person to him due to O.D/ suicided..

• Also most likely to of heard his "friends" shit talking 'Corpse' or something correlated with him

• His pride is his biggest sin (next to lust)

• Has single-handedly defined a huge part of 2020 ( in the best way)

• Went through a fighting stage where he was ready to fuck anyone up on a drop of a dime (middle/'high school'/street fights- possibly even under ground)

but also a stage where he cut absolutely everyone off for a solid couple years

• Most likely obsessed with 1 of 3 creatures; lion, dragon, wolf ( 5ish- possibly bear/fox)

• Dinosaur obsessed

• Internet & video games raised him

• He raised himself

Quick to adapt to surroundings/situations.

• Mighty Morphin Power Rangers was his shit ( I CAN SO SEE YOUNG BABYBOI RUNNIN AROUND THE HOUSE IN A POWER RANGER SUIT) "IT'S MORPHIN' TIME MOTHER FUCKER"

fav ranger- green

• Has up until next year planned out & is working on the next 'version of corpse' ( PR, vids, music, etc)

• Also med/high key this man was most likely in a physcward (more than once) ..

• This man deserves more than he'll ever give himself recognition for & knows in the back of his mind--people will hate just to hate

• Rose is his fav flower 🌹

•⛈️🌧️. >🌞. Loves storms/ rain & prefers them over sunny days

• Loves the moon/stars/space (?) < observatorium dates = fuckin mint>

• Pixar/Disney lover

• Fav Pixar movie.. either Wall.E or Toy Story

• Pixar > Disney

• But fav Disney movie- Beauty & the Beast (?)

• Most likely had a Jackass obsession's (doing dumb hoodshit)

• Fall is his fav season (?)

• Horror/ thriller movies/shows over everything (obvs)

• Had an escape place in town where he’d hide from the world- that absolutely no one knew about.

• Was really into graffiti/ street art

• Arested as a youth - but charges dropped- or was still considered a mirror (either fighting/ possession/ trespassing/ vandalisms)

• Arrested on heavier charges (also same as above - but not tried as an minor)

• also-ALSO ... thou he feels like he owes people something. HE DOESN’T OWE ANYTHING TO A N Y O N E . His mental & well being is the most important.

• On a side & major note. You can't deny that this man single handily is a (in my opinion) the 2nd biggest “C” that define 2020.

• Was most likely really into skateboarding/BMX

• Late night drives/impulsive road trips & playlist/ sitting at lookouts, just in silence & touching 1 another.

• Clingy af-.. but could also be distance & cold af- especially on high pain days. stormy brain days. PTSD episodes.

• Slow dancing/ dancing around the apartments. with or without music.

• Rocking out with each other- screaming lyrics in each other face.

• “hey baby- how you feelin”

*grunting* *shuffles over & lays on chest*

• Huge comforts for 1 another;

Especially when going out, being wrapped around him for comfort & reassurance. Even being at home alone together- panic attacks are shit, PTSD episodes are even more shit. helping each other with bathing & caring

When he’d be hiding from his reflection- or stares just a little too long. Going up behind him & worship him (vise versa)

• He’d be your biggest hypeman/ #1 fan (vise versa)

• Would LOVE you wearing his clothes/jewelry & would love to wear you things.

Was probably engaged to his ex (that's why he gets offt when people mention "corpse wife"

There'd be days where he'd be so distance & cold.. & tell you to leave but wouldn't let you.

He'd sit in the bathroom with you when you shower/have a bath.

As he doesn't sleep most night. He'd be up just watching you sleep & caressing you.

Lil spoon > big spoon.

I love you... genuinely . turly. madly. deeply.

#dear cropse #if youre seeing this #i kno youll be okay #im sorry for everything you've had to go through #plz kno #to me #you are my brightest star in a universe of supernovas #you make everything okay for me #till fate do us part #i kno 1 day we'll meet #the universe will bring me to you & you to me

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whydoesfireburn · 5 years

Text

The first chapter of Why Does Fire Burn? now on Tumblr

There are spelling and grammar mistakes but enjoy anyway.

“Shoto wake your ass up,” Dabi yelled at his little brother, banging on the door.

“Screw off,” Shoto muttered back, hiding his face in his pillow. The morning was too evil to wake for. Then there was a quieter, much more gentle knock.

“Come on, Shoto,” Fuyumi said, opening the door and walking in, “You have the entrance exam today. You don’t want to be late.”

He groaned but got up when Fuyumi ran a hand through his hair. Shoto got dressed in his school uniform after his sister left and then came out for breakfast.

Fuyumi was making eggs, bacon, and rice, and Dabi was scrolling through his phone at the table. Shouto sat down next to him, and without looking, his older brother messed up his hair in a playful manner.

“Stop it,” he says, hitting at his hand. Dabi smirks and puts his phone down. Fuyumi, bless her soul, placed our plates in front of them, and they began eating.

“Natsu’s coming home tonight for dinner,” their sister said halfway through.

“Cool,” the youngest said with his mouth full of food.

“What do you guys want for dinner?” she asked.

“Soba,” Shoto said.

“Was that even a question?” Dabi asked.

Soon it’s time for Shoto to go. Dabi and Fuyumi were watching as Shoto put his shoes and jacket on.

“You’re going to do great,” Fuyumi reassured, straightening her brother's jacket, “And if not, it’s okay. We’ll find something else. Don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried,” he said.

“She was talking to herself,” Dabi said. Fuyumi then smacked his shoulder.

“Come to the shop after the exam,” Dabi said.

“Got it,” Shoto said before opening the door, “Bye,” he said, stepping out of our apartment. Shoto sucked in a breath and said, “Let's do this.”

XXX

Shoto Yukitomo was 15 years old when he went to take the UA entrance exam. He had almost blinding snow-white hair that was long but didn’t go past his neck. He had mismatched heterochromia eyes. One stark gray, and other burning turquoise. Over his left eye was a large burn scar. His papers said that his Quirk was named Cryokinesis. It allowed him to control the ice he made.

Yukitomo did well in the exam. Using his ice to freeze robots before they could strike him. In the end, he had close to 78 points. But then the ground began to shake and rumble. And then there was the faux villain worth 0 points. He made a massive ice wall. Stopping the thing in its path.

XXX

After the exam was over, Shoto headed to Dabi’s shop. Dabi ran a tattoo parlor called Cremation Ink. It was a pretty good size and had a nice setup. Music was always playing, and the place was warm and bright. It smelled like ink, burnt wood, and coffee. Dabi seemed to really love running the place, but the business could be slow sometimes. Dabi had to work a part-time job at the record store down the street just to make sure that he could run this place and keep the apartment the siblings lived in. Sure Fuyumi worked too, but, a preschool teacher doesn’t make all that much.

Shoto walked in and heard the sound so the old American bands Dabi liked to play. Along with that was a buzzing noise that came from a tattoo gun. Shoto walked in further and saw that my brother was in the middle of work.

Knowing it to be a while before they’d go, Shoto moved over to the large leather couch back at the front of the shop and pulled out his book and read. An hour and a half later, the two come in the front of the store. The customer was a guy with a bright blue mohawk with the sides of his head shaved. The tattoo he had gotten was of a blue dragon running down his arm.

“You sure you like it?” Dabi asked as they reached the door.

“Man, I freaking love it,” the guys said, “It’s sick as fuck.”

“I’m glad,” Dabi said, “So, you’re good with me putting it on my site, social media pages, right?”

“Yeah, man, go nuts.”

“Alright, come back soon,” Dabi said, holding the door open for the other guy.

“Will do Dabi,” the guy said before leaving.

“How was your day?” Shoto asked, not looking up.

“Fine, yours?”

“Fine,” he said, “You talking to that guy you met last month?”

“Don’t,” his brother warned, walking towards the back.

“What?”

“Shoto, I am serious.”

“Is that hard for you?”

“Do you want to die brat?” he asked, “Because I can make that happen.”

“You wouldn’t hurt me. Fuyumi won’t let you,” Shoto said, eyes still glued to the pages.

It’s another half an hour before the brothers lock up and head home. On their way back to the small apartment, Dabi asked,” So how was it?”

“Fine, I guess,” the white-haired boy said.

The two brothers couldn’t look more different as they walked down the street. Dabi was a good couple inches taller even though he has been on the short side most of the time. Shoto was tall, too, but not his brother’s height. Shoto had snow-white hair, and Dabi had jet black. Both of them had pale skin, but Dabi’s arms and torso were covered in ink. Images of flames, snowflakes and monsters, flowers, and other symbols. His ears and nose were pierced in several places.

When they got home, they found that their other two siblings were back. Fuyumi was working on dinner, and Natsuo was in the living room, TV blaring. Shoto plopped down next to his older brother, and Natsuo ruffled his hair.

“Hey, Sho, how the exam?” he asked.

“Good, I think.”

“I’m going to go look over some calls,” Dabi said, shrugging his jacket off.

“Then you go and shower,” Fuyumi said, “You too, Shoto.”

Shouto just sat, leaning against his other brother as they watched the news. For a split second, the was flash of the number two hero on the screen, but before anything on the TV could be said, the channel was changed to a volleyball game that was on.

“Who the hell used all my shampoo?” Shoto asked, coming out of the bathroom, shaking the empty bottle.

“Shouto,” Fuyumi said, “You use too much of it.”

“No, I don’t,” he said.

“Yes, you do. And so does Natsu.”

“Leave me out of this,” the older boy said.

“Did you use it?” Shoto asked.

“ I will not confirm or deny anything.”

Shoto threw the empty bottle at his brother, but Natsuo caught it. Shoto growled.

Later Dabi came out of the shower, and they ate dinner. The four siblings talked about their day. Dabi spoke about people who went into the shop. Fuyumi shared stories about her class. Natsuo talked about his professors and classes. And Shoto talked about his entrance exam.

“They made you fight robots?” Natsu asked.

“Yep.”

“Huh, well that something.”

“Speaking of school,” Dabi said, “Have you picked a major?”

“Well, I was thinking maybe physical therapy,” Natsuo said, “You know so I can help people.”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” Fuyumi said, smiling.

As they got more into the meal, Shoto’s brows knitted together for a moment. “What am I going to do if I don’t get into UA?” his tone wasn’t one of despair or dread. It was one born out of pure curiosity.

All three of his siblings looked at him for a moment and thought. What would Shoto do?

“You become a hoodlum like your brother,” Natsu tested. Dabi hit him up the back of the head.

“Ow!”

“Don’t worry, Shoto,” Fuyumi said, resting her hand on top of her brothers, “If UA doesn’t work, we could find another hero school. Or we can find something else for you to do if you want. We just want you to be happy.”

“Thanks,” Shoto said.

If you were to look at Yukitomo siblings, you would see that they were closer than anything. That they were loyal and relied on each other. The neighbors thought they were all delightful children. They truly didn’t deserve what happened to them. It was horrible luck for such sweet children. To have their father horribly, painfully killed in a home invasion, which left poor Shoto scared, and their mother insane. Poor Dabi had been tasked with keeping all of his siblings safe at such a young age. All four of them worked so hard to stay together. Truly lovely children, with terrible luck.

After dinner, the four cleaned up dinner and sat in the living room and watched action movies.

XXX

Later that night, while the younger two of the siblings were asleep, Fuyumi and Dabi stayed up talking.

“I’m get worried,” Fuyumi said, pacing the kitchen floor, “We’re running out of money. I’ve been looking over the bills and checks, and we only have enough for maybe the first third of the year. And we can’t just have Shoto and Natsuo go out and get jobs with them both going to school,” she ran a hand threw her long white hair.

Dabi didn’t want to say it out loud, but he was getting worried too. She was right. Money was growing thin, and their brothers couldn’t get jobs like they did. Natsuo would be in college, and Shoto was going to going to a hero school of all things. He wasn’t going to put the stress of getting a job on them.

“Yumi,” he said after a minute, his voice sounding more confident than he felt, “Don’t worry. I have a bunch of appointments scheduled over these next few months. It will be more than enough.”

“But will it?” She asked, worried, “Dabi, you know how hard it is to support all of us. You know sometimes, a fully booked month is hardly enough.”

“Relax,” he told her, “I have a plan if things start getting bumpy.”

“What?!” she cried a little too loud. She had stopped pacing, “Join a gang and sell drugs? Rob a bank? Sell off all of our things?”

“No,” he said, trying not to get upset with her worry. She was much more open with emotion in times of stress when it was just them.

“Then what?” she asked, “And if you say Taijo, I swear to the gods-”

“I promise it’s not Taijo,” he whispered, “And keep your voice down, you’ll wake Natsu and Sho.”

“What is it then?” she asked, more softly, her hands shaking.

“We draw some cash from our funds,” Dabi said plainly.

“Touya!” Fuyumi cried before she was hushed. Dabi cringed at the sound of the name. It was strange and bitter after so long. Even though it was the dead of night there was no one else, but them were up, Dabi looked around. Checking to make sure no one heard. After a minute, he let out a sigh, and his shoulders dropped.

Dabi looked at his sister, and placed his hands on her shoulders carefully, “Yumi, listen to me. I know it’s risky, but we’ve gotten away with it before. No one knows they’re there, and no one will know that the money’s gone. And it is just a little bit. Just a little bit of cash, that’s ours anyway. We’ll wait for a few more months. And if the business at the shop keeps doing well, then we won’t. Please, Yumi, trust me on this.”

Fuyumi looked down at the ground. She was shaking a little bit, and tears were welling up in her eyes. She didn’t want to look at her brother. Her older brother, who always made sure she was safe and okay. Who would hold her when she cried. Who took on all the problems Fuyumi couldn't figure out on her own. She felt weak next to him. Dabi pulled her in for a hug. She wrapped her arms around his neck and nodded.

“Okay,” she sobbed, “but only in a few months. Promise me.”

“Okay,” he said, rocking her, “I promise.”

“I’m sorry,” she cried, “I’m sorry I’m not stronger-”

“Fuyumi, you’re stronger than any of us,” Dabi said, in a gentle voice, “You do things that I never could. You handle all our finances, you cook and take care of us when we’re sick, you help Shoto and Natsuo with homework when the world knows I couldn’t have. You are so strong, Fuyumi. I never want you to think otherwise.”

She nodded. For the longest time, Dabi just stood there holding his little sister. It was moments like this; they both remembered how much they need each other to get through things. How they had to work together to make sure their little brothers could have it better than they did.

“It’s okay,” Dabi promised, “It’ll be okay, Yumi. Only five more years of the hard stuff. Five more years,” he whispered, kissing her forehead.

Five more years. Then they could finally make a move and not worry about as much about losing each other.

XXX

(Two Weeks Later)

Two weeks later, the four Yukitomo siblings were in the kitchen. Fuyumi was grading some papers, and Dabi and Natsuo were talking about work and school. Shoto was looking through the mail. There were six pieces of it. Three of them were bills. One was a postcard from one of Fuyumi’s friends. The other was a magazine. Finally, there was a letter to Shoto. From UA.

Shoto slowly opened it without saying anything. Then a small dice dropped out. Then a holographic image popped out of All Might. The other siblings turn their heads, and their jaws dropped.

They all sat and listen to the results. In the end, tears ran down the siblings' faces, and there was the tightest group hug of their lives. They all smiled and laughed for a good long while. Once all the crying and laughing stopped, and they all let go of each other, Shoto said, “I’m going to UA.”

“Yeah, kiddo,” Dabi said, hugging him, “You are.”

Shoto was going to UA, and he was going to be a hero. A hero who helps people, like his siblings, helped him, and he was going to a better hero than he ever was.

#wdfb #my fic #todoroki shouto #todoroki fuyumi #todoroki natsuo #todoroki touya #todoroki family #dabi is a todoroki #dabi #chapter 1

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sugar-petals · 6 years

Text

Fuckup Trucker (m)

pairing: rm x reader words: 5.1k — one shot genre: winter au | smut, angst, action, fluff summary: Truck driver Namjoon crashes at your lodge by accident. Things heat up. warnings: surprise... this features dom!reader, sub!rm, cunnilingus, swearing, vaginal sex (protected), humiliation, multiple orgasms a/n: Reupload, tumblr deleted the old one. Enjoy trucker!Joon 😄

-----------

The icy road won’t let your shoes find any grip. One step, two steps, three grueling steps. It feels like moving backward. Each movement is ungrateful, much like the temperature at dusk that creeps into your limbs, further slowing down the walk. You remember Jin’s words at the gas station: Walk like a penguin and you won’t slip. It seems like the most ridiculous thing to do, but it works. There’s nobody else here to laugh at it anyway.

The subtle cracking under your boots becomes the only sound in the valley after the clattering noise from the last train to Juneau fades. The echo in these valleys can become rather strong if only one is just loud enough. But the silence is even louder, making every step eerier than ever. A brown dot in the distance comes into sight when the wind carries away some snow.

After the penguin waddles got you closer to the spot, a snowy roof appears from the blur of white.

You pat the small chest pocket of your coat twice. Yes, the key is still there. It takes some time until your efforts to free the lock from snow come to fruition. Then, you fumble at the chest pocket for what feels like two minutes because your gloves are too chunky to grab the key. It drops from your grasp right away.

You have to collect it from a heap of virgin snow that keeps moving under the heavy wind. It’s too much for the gloves to handle. Eventually, they become wet at the fingertips.

You should have listened to wise Jin. He said that lamb fur was not 'the most persistent material in these conditions'. Nevertheless, you pick up the key with confidence. You can't change the fact that you're wearing them right now. And the gloves don’t really matter when you’ll be warm in a minute.

The lodge is supposed to have a nice fireplace, a humongous oven, even a sofa. The prospect makes you feel cozy already, placing the key at the lock to push in with a hopeful mind. Once, twice. It doesn’t work. You flip the key by 180 degrees and try again. Thrice this time. It doesn’t even go half in, nor does it turn one bit. Banging at the won’t help to free the lock. It’s iced up from the inside out.

Fuck.

Instead of encountering a rear entrance around the corner, you only find a large stack of chopped wood. Jin likely prepared it two weeks ago, knowing you would stay here for two days before continuing your trip to Alaska. It’s an orderly stack, no wood out of place. It’s almost like... stairs. Stairs! It might have been unintentional, but the window right above the stack appears to be slightly tilted. Jin, you genius.

You climb up fast to reach the spot, some pieces of wood tumbling aside. The tilt of the window allows you to reach inside with one glove off, turning the handle. Click. The window opens with a creak while more wood falls down underneath you, so you are forced to slip in as quickly as possible. The landing is soft: Carpet.

You close the window with the help of a nearby broomstick and hurry to get the fireplace and oven going. It’s tedious work, but some pieces of wood are already in there — again, freshly chopped.

The tilted window left the lodge freezing cold even with a bit of snow inside. At least, the sofa is as comfortable as Jin had promised, inviting you with quite a couple of pillows and blankets. The heat distributes from the floor upwards while the sun sets. Your hands feel much better now that the damned wet gloves are off, dangling near the fireplace to dry.

There are some candles to light up at what is supposed to be the dinner table, a large oak trunk sliced in half and led out horizontally around four smaller trunks that serve as seats. The lighting is decent, but not sufficient given how late it is. You leave your coat and heavy shoes on while sitting on the sofa, watching flames tongue at the wood blocks.

Maybe the fire will get a little brighter when you wait. You didn't travel all the way from Juneau not to have a luminous evening now. Your relatives have made fun of you doing such a trip already, you'll prove them wrong and say when you arrive: Canada's great, no matter how icy it is.

It's not a good idea to doze off like that but you need rest, but also warmth. So you make sure to slightly tilt the window at the other side of the lodge to let in fresh air. If there's something you don't plan on doing during this vacation, it's dying because of carbon monoxide poisoning. You pass out fast between blankets and pillows, hoping that the lock would be easier to handle tomorrow.

A large rumble interrupts your sleep just when the fire starts to diminish. The entire valley echoes a thunderous boom, akin to an earthquake. It's terrifying. The sound gets you up at the blink of an eye.

You need to get out of here. If the roof collapses, you don't stand a chance.

The lock defrosted, but the door is still hard to open because of the snow pile outside. You push until the slit is broad enough to exit, almost tripping since the snow has been getting firmer with the falling evening degrees. Now you see where the rumble was coming from.

A giant blue truck has stopped just a few feet away.

There’s a cursing, lanky guy in a huge fur coat walking around it with a lantern. And in the distance, you see the respective truck trailer in the vicinity of the valley slope. But something's not right. In the scarce gleam of the lantern, you realize why.

It’s turned upside down.

The man adjusts his cap in surprise when you approach and yell through the wind.

“You lost your trailer?!”

“Where the hell did you come from?”

He's got a deep voice that's almost too hard to hear. The lantern shifts to your direction completely now. You step closer.

“The lodge, shall I contact—”

You can see his face now. Stern eyes. Strong jaw and brows. Tan, with bits of dark hair sticky against his forehead.

It's a grimace of sheer fury.

“I have one less problem when you’re not here. Go, just go away!”

He gestures, pointing at you, then to the house. “I’ll do this myself. You’ve seen nothing here. Go!”

Now he spins around on his heel. You can't even reply, he's so fast.

Back at the truck, he rummages in the driver’s cab, back turned to you.

“Headquarters! Headquarters, where are you? 5-0-6, 5-0-6 calling!”

He keeps repeating it, but there’s nobody answering on the radio set. The guy seeks to go on walking around the scene inspecting the trailer, and more insults follow. Only a few sentences and you know practically everyone he ever hated.

Only a rumble from the mountains comes as a response.

Much more severe than what you heard earlier when the crash happened. Against the cutting wind, you scream that you don’t care about his company messing up the trailer safety check, or the headquarters, or that everyone in the world is an asshole, and that he should come in. But he keeps roaming about. You go after him, drag him by the arm.

"Don't you understand? You shouldn't be here!"

He rips his arm away. His coat is hard to grasp.

“Come on...!”

He’s heavy and churning.

“Let me be, you can’t hel—”

He pushes you away. The rumble from the mountain turns louder, making him flinch and look upwards. You slap him across the face. Hard. It doesn't hurt, you can't feel your fingers in the cold anyway. But he can.

“Follow me fuckwit, now!”

He stumbles, ends up covered in snow. You fail to drag him up again in a last effort. He's too tall and massive.

The avalanche has almost reached the bottom of the valley when you shove, no, kick him past the doorstep and turn the key. Whatever caused him to get back up, it must have been a miracle.

Minute after minute passes with him and you jammed together at the ground, enduring the shaking, the roar outside. The lodge is still for seconds, but when you get up, another quake brings you down. He’s wincing next to you, coiled up inside the coat. When the roar subsides, none of you dares to rise for minutes on end. Once you dare to, he still remains cowering.

“Come on up, that was that,” you point to the sofa for him to sit. He bucks on the ground, then heaves himself up with the help of both arms. When he sits down on the couch, it feels like he collapses under the seeming weight of a metric ton.

“You were right. I’m a dumbass.”

He shifts in the pillows, rubbing his temples. “That was the worst case scenario.”

“Twice for me,” you grumble, “It’s my second day in Canada and I have more common sense than a trucker? What’s your name, anyways?”

“Namjoon. I’m actually a rookie driver.”

“You meant accident driver! You almost got both of us dead and frozen! Aren’t you supposed to have enough training beforehand to do this?”

“The shock. I, I messed up everything. I’m sorry. My job is history.”

“That’s the only thing you’re worried about?”

“Yes, I mean, no! I’m glad you did that.”

“Won’t do it again. Now you stay here and don’t move an inch.”

“Listen, I’m really grateful, I—”

“Just wait here. You look like a fucking wax figure. Unlucky devil. I'm Y/N.”

He nods, tries to wipe his face more than once with the back of his hand. You browse the back of the room to search for what you wanted to look for earlier, but were too tired.

Well. Now you aren't anymore.

The kitchen has quite a few supplies, in fact. Pots, tinned food, even bread. Some pieces of pastry with either almonds or raisins. Bless Jin.

“We can’t do anything now,” you shrug, “might as well have a can of soup.”

Namjoon only mumbles. He doesn't look any less jazzed. If the lodge had a bathtub, you would have him submerged there with whiskey in the water to get some life into him. Who knows how he managed to make his trailer break loose like that.

The pot heats quickly on the oven, it’s only a matter of two minutes. Soon, a scent of chicken, peas, and spicy pepper spreads in the room. After tossing two more blocks of wood into the fireplace, you find cutlery and crockery in a slightly lopsided cupboard and take two each. Once the two serves are ready, you pass him one, and he snaps out of his paralysis. Sort of. You feel a bit more lenient.

“Here. Sorry I blamed you. Neither was your fault.”

“It’s not that I didn’t provoke fate, don’t say that.”

He stirs the soup, hasty, then begins to spoon it.

“Don’t burn yourself just now.”

“I’ll be careful,” Namjoon slurps, “just feeling very done for, don’t really care.”

Once he’s finished, he waits for your last sip shifting around more, then rushes to clean up the kitchen. He persists putting everything back to its original place and make up for your efforts. You can't stop him. Needing to keep himself occupied, it seems to you. He returns to the couch even more exhausted, not knowing how to compose himself. No eye contact.

“Your clothes,” you seize him up a second time, “get these off, you’re soaked from head to toe. I’ll get you bundled up. The fire’s warm enough now.”

“Right. Right. Good idea, actually.”

His nose and cheeks are twice as rosy than before now, but drenched in cold sweat. The cap comes off, so does the coat. The heavy boots — unlaced.

He’s wearing one thick knit of a sweater and bulky jeans with pockets all over. All wetted by snow, too. You turn away to get a blanket while he strips down to his boxers entirely. Before he’s wrapped up, you find yourself gazing at his body more than once. You won't say anything but he caught the glance.

"What?"

"Do you really wanna know?"

"By, uh, all means?"

“Good-looking for a fuckup.”

"Me?"

"No, I'm talking about Santa Claus. Of course!"

“Oh, thanks I—”

“Nevermind the blanket if you dare.” You nudge his shoulder. His cheeks get even rosier. "Hey. Just kidding," you giggle, and have him wrapped up as promised.

Still, the feeling between your legs won’t betray you.

“Do you... like me?” he fiddles at his thighs ever so awkwardly. It’s hard to believe he was cussing like a sailor outside just minutes ago.

“Can't leave you guessing, babe. As I said." You tug at his hips now. "That blanket can go back to where it came from. Or above us, it's always warmer together. Fancy it?”

He hesitates to answer. But when you smile at him, his dimples form, too.

“I do, Y/N. Above, I mean.”

You get on the couch yourself and lead him downwards, horizontal, by his arm just ever so lightly. The pillows then welcome you, too, huddled tightly by his side. You can feel his heartbeat in staccato. He nods when you ask him whether he’d enjoy a bit more than just cuddles.

“Rather be doing that than messing around outside. We have plenty of time to kill. Your trailer isn't going anywhere.”

“Plenty, what do you wanna do?”

He tempts with one gaze that you think was supposed to be challenging, predatory. But when you pinch his side, it fades faster than it came.

“Plenty of time to make you and me feel like we’re halfway warm again. I’m snowed in on vacation. You shredded your entire cargo. We almost died. Sounds stressful enough for me.”

“Gotta let loose I guess.”

“Why not make a fuckup a real fuck, then?”

"Y/N..."

"Want me to give it to you good?"

Now you poke his dimples, and think they look fascinating.

“Have virtually nothing against it. Just a bit, um...”

"Yes, Joon?"

"Nervous. Sorry about that."

"No problem, don't mind it. Kinda like that, actually."

You trail your hand down his chest, but hardly is it in a hurry. Each inch is worth it. Namjoon is so well-built. He’s just ridiculous, isn’t he.

Outside, the mountains start to grumble again. He flinches.

“Hush, don’t listen.” You bite at his ear, which is surprisingly small for his height. “We’re gonna make this better. Not worse.”

“I’m still afraid,” Namjoon says and buries his head in the nape of your neck. He feels less tense when you plant a little kiss at the crown of his head.

You get a certain thought at that.

“It's okay. We’re gonna play a hot game if you like."

"Hot game?"

"It's a bit risky."

"What's that about? I'm not going outside again."

You shake your head.

"No need. Wanna know the rules?"

"If it's that hot. I mean, sure?"

"I’ll count to hundred. If you can make me cum twice, you get a reward.”

“O-okay.”

"Only hands or mouth allowed. Just my clit and you. Nothing else."

"But why... twice? Only hundred, Christ!"

“If it’s only once, I’ll tease you to bits. But you can’t finish. Twice is a better accomplishment.”

“Fair enough.”

“And,” you nibble at his ear, “If you can’t make me cum at all, you get punished and have to try again. Join the game or leave the game, Fuckup?”

Namjoon goes entirely red when you lower the hem of your pants.

A risky game.

Why not? A little heat like that is fine for a trucker. It’s a little cruel, too. Oddly enough, he likes that quite a lot.

Body faster than any thought, his tongue sneaks out to cover his lips in saliva, but he quickly realizes they won’t stay dry anyways. Not with the prospect of 100 seconds. His head nods a sultry yes.

Namjoon’s lip begins to waver, ever so slowly, but accelerate at the way you intonate the numbers.

“Fifteen, sucker!”

His ears are warm indeed now. You love his lips, they’re like little pillows. And shiny as you briefly see when he emerges as 20. He catches a breath. Too long, because you approach 25. He's trying hard to provide the stimulation.

“Halfway through for the first one! 28!”

Now his hands sneak up. Finally. He gave up his delusion, or say, found what you wanted. Those long, sturdy fingers. The veins, like serpentines around his knuckles. Finger cups, soft but still potent to deliver a strong pressing against your clit. Perhaps too strong. Too inexperienced. He misses the spot a few times. He’s sweating more. The number is 45. In desperation, he switches to tongue again.

Satisfy.

Why can’t I satisfy her. Stupid trucker, do it right. Do at least one thing right today. Are you a man or not?

A painful tug at his hair gets him back to reality when 60 approaches. He’s grateful for the hint, but his tongue won’t function anymore. His lips are coated wet, plump, thumping, and your scent becomes intoxicating to his mind. 71, and he still pokes around aimlessly. 72. 73. He brings up one hand to aid his tongue, parts your folds ready to thrust and lock two fingers inside. But then, Namjoon remembers: No penetration allowed. 78, 79.

Approaching 82, he rubs his palm flat against your pubic bone downwards. It does the trick, the familiar tingle wanders down your abdomen. You’re so wet. But that makes his hand slide off, and he needs more pressure to bring it in place, which makes it even more slippery.

“91, baby boy.”

And you don't count very fast. He’s groaning. The strength in his arm starts to fade. You can tell by how he slows down at 94, but still won’t give up using his tongue. He shoves and shoves, shoves it forward and sidewards, and still: the right spot escapes his prodding. The tension of your thighs around his head is none the stronger. How he wishes it was.

He wants to feel you climax and moan and wind, and scream, by now he’s frantically sucking and grinding his face between your legs, one orgasm! One orgasm, that’s it! He’ll do it! And finally, satisfy—

“Hundred. Game over!”

Nothing.

Satisfy absolutely nothing. Your legs part slightly to release him.

He pulls off eyes downcast. How ludicrous that must have looked like, he can’t even bring forth an apology. Even if his lips have moved more in the last minutes than the last two months on the training road combined.

“Just punish me, Y/N.”

Do I even deserve that? I'm a real fuckwit loser.

“I have sympathies now seeing you worked so much.”

“No punishment?”

“Oh, my baby fool.” You tickle his chin and pick up a bit of the warm drops from there. “More sympathies means stronger punishment, didn’t you know?”

“Then, do it as hard as you can. I’ll take it.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Y/N, I don’t understand.”

“You’ve done the due already without me doing anything. Humiliated yourself enough, didn’t you? Look me in the eye!”

“Sorry...”

“When someone asks for punishment, it truly isn’t one. Punishment has to hurt more than that. It won’t make you feel good. You just took my job.”

That alone almost got you off. But you’ll teach him a lesson today. That means: Self-control.

Namjoon scrambles in the pillows and manages to pull up his glance.

“Kind of. Yes. Maybe I did.”

“Come here, I’ll show you how to do it right.”

Namjoon doesn’t look any less shameful at that. But he comes close to where you beckon him into his embrace. He leans his head against your chest visibly hesitating, but follows at the guidance of your palm at the back of his neck. Namjoon’s heartbeat is still going wild, you can feel it now.

“Won’t humiliate you further after this,” you smooch his sweaty cheek. “You’ll find out how I really come with just a lil’ pointer.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been forcing yourself into being tough and sloppy for 100 seconds straight, didn’t you?”

Namjoon becomes taciturn at that. Still, he nods.

“What I want to see,” and you tap his chest saying that, “is how you are... naturally. Who said you can’t use your hands and mouth elsewhere? My body’s not just one pleasure point and that’s it. You think I'll ever be contented like that in a million years and beyond? I'm a woman. I want more. I want it all, baby, don't you know!”

“O-Oh. I should have—”

“Wanna give it a go again? I think you know what to do. No shoulds and woulds now. Remember the rules.”

“Yes, Y/N.”

So good. The fingers of his left hand are intertwined with your hair, brushing softly just above the scalp when he decides to move them around a bit to explore. It brings back a distant memory.

Going to the barber’s shop in the small town you grew up in. Nothing about their service was cheap, so your parents couldn’t let you go often. Every visit was like entering heaven anew each time you stepped in on a Thursday afternoon. The chubby coiffeur was always friendly, and you loved the sound of his green scissors, the razors, the jasmine shampoo kneaded into your locks. The salon would always be filled with happy people looking at their transformations from all angles, a scent of bleach or hairspray, and Tango music blasting from the stereo in the other room where an apprentice would mix colors and move his hips to the beat thinking nobody would hear and see. There were no worries at that time. The world was okay. You'd even spend a bit of your pocket money for a massage. His hands bring you back to the days, with all the goosebumps and tingles in the same spots. He knows how to move them just right. Namjoon.

Who keeps on whispering in your ear, and trailing his other hand across your belly. All the sensitive places covered and cherished. Slowly pulling off the rest of your clothing. 22. 23.

“I love your body,” he says. “It’s smart like you. And beautiful.”

Namjoon’s lips trace your jawline, upwards, downwards, then return to your ear.

“Can I kiss you, madam?”

“Go ahead, darlin’.”

You barely reach 40 and his lips are indulging your tongue. One hand caressing your back, the other roaming your breasts. It feels like your spine is infused with a fresh, bubbling feeling that lingers the more his lips do their work. They feed back the nectar that they picked up between your thighs so expertly. It's astonishing. You wonder how he didn’t do this earlier. And he seems to catch up on the same thought, too.

He must have figured you like his veins because you get a good view of them. Going in circles on your breasts. While his mouth makes slow, repeated contact with your clit, seemingly ignorant that you’re approaching 65. At 70, his tongue fucks past the damp folds leading upwards to the tender place where his tip stops and plants almost little electrical impulses.

Your clit is so swollen, wherever he brings his tongue up it will contact and give a feeling that you convulse with so much excitement. While his hands continue their magical work at your waist, your hips, your ass. Even your calves and feet. 78, 79. Freaking Namjoon’s hands. Hands, hands, hands, fucking hands. Your skin has never felt more exalted.

“You’re perfect, Miss,” he mumbles into you, intertwines his fingers with yours. "Thank you for picking me up outside."

81, 82. Shit. Your body is on fire.

Namjoon keeps on bringing his tongue forward and alternates with kisses. And then, he directs his thumb between your legs. Gently massaging. Small, dainty pokes. It’s like pushing a button to tip you off the glaring edge. He whispers.

“And I like you, too.”

99.

You’re cumming. So good. So hard. So fucking hard. You’re sorry for his ears, but your legs cramp together so fervently around his head, his exhale is louder than yours. All signs are on fuck it. Your hips jerk and all cum dribbles out. Ruining his face, his hair. The sharp brows, the gorgeous dimpled smile. If another avalanche would come to be your frosty grave now, it wouldn't matter.

You’ve stopped counting by the time you slip on his dick with a condom barely on. Did he get that from the gas station? You’ll never know. Judging by the way he twitches, you know how long this trailer hasn’t seen a parking lot for all that heavy, bulging freight. He’s so nervous. He's so sexy. With that deep voice. That perfect dark hair. It’s getting ecstatic.

If you wanna bounce on him, you’ll do it properly, gradual and sloppy, even if your mind says go and screw his soul out... wherever that trucker soul is, his balls? They need to be crushed, they need to be ruined, you want it all.

The condom eventually bows to your pace and stays where it should, much like Namjoon who looks like he froze completely being so tense. Only your name comes from his lips, over and over. They are trembling, but not because he's cold. Not with that temperature in the room. The friction is just too much, no matter how much he concentrates to keep his hands on you where they tingle. No, he fumbles at your thighs, then returns back to stimulating your sensitive place, and the faint thought returns to you.

The second orgasm.

It already approaches. If it could melt the snow outside with all its heat, it would. Those fingers really do the rest.

He was right that your body is smart.

Being smart means knowing what’s good for you. And, what is that?

Gushing all over his cock and groaning like it’s the last time. Game won. Well, kind of. If you can come on his dick like that and engulf him whole, own him whole, squeeze him whole, the rules are best discarded. The release is so heavenly. You feel so real and satisfied. He did so well. Very well for a fuckup, in fact. All to be smudged and blighted by the spill of your jizz, and it's so pretty on his shaft. You wouldn’t have thought that this emotion would be so powerful after all.

It’s his words that keep on repeating themselves, and they drive you wild. He likes you, too. The scent of pepper and smoke in the room becomes so much more clear in your sensation, ultimately, before blurring into the familiar picture. A winter’s white desert before your eyes. If only it would last forever. Who would have known how capable he is, that charmer, to make you come.

The condom is chucked in a random corner.

You feel funny just lying there sticky talking about how you must have looked like kicking and yelling at each other earlier. But well, there is nobody else to laugh at you here. Maybe just the moon and the stars outside. Cackling how two idiots could get stuck in a lodge like this. At least, they are silent. Maybe that is eerie, but then again, Namjoon is next to you. His presence is comforting. He doesn’t snore and burp like you thought he would, or pull out a giant cigar to huff himself to sleep humming country songs. But it would have suited the atmosphere inside.

You are hungry again, but too lazy to get up. So late, so exhausted, and you're stuck here for longer anyways. No urgency. Time to sleep says the rest of your body save the stomach, and the stars go on giggling by themselves. They know it. Humans are all complete morons.

Namjoon wakes up with the messiest, sexiest hair you’ve ever seen. And, is that a beard coming out? You must be mistaken.

He says he must have tossed and turned, oh lord is he grumpy, but you don’t recall him being such a restless sleeper when you briefly got up at dawn. The toilet in the lodge was indeed prepared like you suspected, because Seokjin won’t fear getting his hands dirty. At this point, you feel like paying him for all the work he’s done. And the foresight. You're almost sure he gave Namjoon condoms for free. It's not hard to imagine how he realized what a hot piece of fuck was arriving at the gas station in his damn coat. And that sailor mouth, which you now think deserves better than calling it just that.

You get your breakfast together, set up the table, Namjoon does most of the work even if his mood isn’t the best and his clothes aren't completely dry. Who knows how long the food will last while you are stuck here, so he creates smaller rations. A bit of bread today. A bit later. It’s like a small lump on your plates.

You talk about how many miles he needed to drive to get to Alberta where a promotion waits. Well, would wait. And how you'll likely be way too behind on schedule now to continue the vacation. You can scrap it all if you can't reach the next station. The bread is only a small consolation, but you know that past counting to hundred and having fun to get a bit warmer you are in serious trouble. Two unlucky devils in one spot, and you can drink to that. Dreams are but shadows.

But before you can dig in, a brazen knock interrupts the conversation.

The door.

Which you thought would have been blocked entirely by night. But it's not. It's half open. A voice reverberates outside, again, accompanied by several other knocks.

“506? You in there? It’s 507! Got your signal last night! Manager Hyuna sent us!”

“It's you! Hobi!”

Namjoon hurries to the door. Opening it, a bunch of rugged-looking truckers welcome you with their shovels. Namjoon can’t help himself, he starts jumping around. The trucker with the cap standing at the door greets you with a nonchalant handshake. He's devastatingly sexy.

“Hi! Jung Hoseok, went to the academy with Joon. And these handsome chaps here: Yoongi, Tae, JK. We'll get you two wherever ya need to be. We got someone to clear the area, too.”

Well.

Canada's great.

No matter how icy it is.

351 notes · View notes

unto-myself-together · 6 years

Text

Of Stories and Songs: Ch 7

A Haunted Mansion fanfic (Disney).

Author notes: So now we have come full circle here. We've come back to the original short prompt story that I wrote way back when on Tumblr. Now, since then, I think I've gone over and given this scene very important (but very subtle) changes. And Solomon Gracey did end up changing from the original person I had him be. Also this chapter. Took. Forever. To complete. It doesn't help that it seems to be the longest so far. Eventually, I did have to just cut it at some point, because it just didn't seem like it was going to stop anytime soon. Lots more references to Haunted Mansion myth/lore and media. I think one of the most important is the sailor aspect of it. The original story idea the Imagineers had was to write sort of a pirate tale, which some say is the reason for the ship weather vane attached to the Disneyland mansion as well as a certain blocked off tunnel. And so, I did very much plan for/liked the idea putting a more sea-worthy, sailor-y aspect to the story. It's interesting to note that ships of about this time period (late 19th century) had both engines and auxiliary sails (in case the engines failed, mostly). It remains to be seen whether sailors in the late 19th century shipping industry had accents, but I thought that, perhaps, since this character has likely seen many sights and was practically raised off of the sea that he'd have some unique way of speaking. Speaking of which, though, I didn't quite realize that the song from Pirates of the Caribbean 4 was an actual song from way back in the 17th century (guesstimate). Nobody knows for sure how old it is, because like most folk tunes the origins are unclear. It was collected by a man in the late 19th century, and published in a book alongside other folk songs and sea shanties. He didn't create the song, simply collected it. Finally, I would like to take this time to dedicate this chapter to my friend, Majora.

@majora-the-trekking-hobbit

Reasoning is partially because of a...erm...particular character that shows up here. But also because of all the support you've given me and this story! Thank you for always reblogging, and thank you for always taking the time to listen to me and give me advice! I really appreciate it! Art references used: Staircase:http://www.doombuggies.com/secrets_conservatory.php https://themeparkuniversity.com/disney/disneys-haunted-mansion-man-spiderweb-real-hoax/ https://hauntedmansion.fandom.com/wiki/Endless_Staircase Hattie:https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/2015/07/15/disneylands-hatbox-ghost-mystery-solved/30216909/ https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS720US720&biw=1293&bih=665&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=yAuDXI2SD-vK5gLxtLPoAw&q=haunted+mansion+hatbox+ghost&oq=haunted+mansion+hatbox+ghost&gs_l=img.3..0j0i5i30l2j0i24l2.43127.44878..44976...0.0..0.210.1061.6j3j1......1....1..gws-wiz-img.......0i8i30j0i30.9t6rb10BpQM#imgrc=zew4FFwUqtcCOM: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hatbox_Ghost Cape (because I needed extra help with how to fold it): https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS720US720&biw=1293&bih=665&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=GAyDXLGEDIfZ5gKeoZjgDQ&q=assassin%27s+creed+cape&oq=assassin%27s+creed+cape&gs_l=img.3..0j0i8i30l8j0i24.120121.124788..125000...0.0..0.93.1629.22......1....1..gws-wiz-img.....0..0i67.bP3kELME6yc#imgdii=XUa-qMHbTqdtkM:&imgrc=yAsMXH24fr3GUM: ~~~~ Trigger warnings: ghosts, death concepts/discussions, murder, suicide, abuse, blood, lots of scary stuff (horror), implied sexual abuse, cursing (damn and hell), drug abuse, domestic violence, attempted rape (never completed; in a later chapter).

~~~

Table of Contents:

Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5 ,

Chapter 6 , Chapter 7

~~~

~~~Ch. 7: The Fearsome Foursome~~~

~ My heart is pierced by Cupid, I disdain all glittering gold, There is nothing can console me, but my jolly sailor bold. -1891 collection, Real Sailor-Songs by John Ashton ~

~~~ ~~

“Good evening, Master Gracey.”

The Ghost Host politely responded.

“Don’t give me that. You know precisely that my evening cannot possibly be good with you banging about the house. Must you ruin my reading?” Karen shifted back; the floor beneath her creaked. Solomon caught sight of her cowering against the wall, and he stared at her dispassionately. “Who is this?” He scowled, and it made him look all the terrifying because it gave an impression that he held no sympathy for her. “A mortal? Damn it, man. How many times must I tell you to stop letting mortals inside?! Get her out of here, now!” “With or without her companion, who seems to have been…mislaid?”

The man spun round, away from her, and stared at the empty void, the source of the voice, and the air seemed to shift dangerously around him.

“You’ve lost track of one of them? You’ve done that on purpose, haven’t you?!” “Perish the thought. I’m sure they can be reacquired. I’ve heard some of the vases in the west end shattering. Perhaps it’s them lugging their…hmmm shaken physical presence through the halls….”

Everything fell into an uneasy, unsettling stillness. “The west end…vases…you mean the burial urns?” Somehow, the anger that seethed off of the man was palpable, much like a thick fog permeating the air. Only it was a weighted sensation and not a physical appearance. “The burial urns? Where my mother’s burial urn resides?”

She could swear she could feel a rumble coming from the house, as if the floorboards had responded to his words. Underneath her palms, the wood began to tremble. “Breaking the burial urns?! You..You! Breaking the west end vases! Oh I’ve no doubt those urns are breaking, but it isn’t the mortal breaking the urns, now is it?! You vile, disgusting twisted little demon!” The man spat, and if anger had been a liquid she had imagined that it would have come spilling from his mouth straight to the floorboards with the way he spoke. “Come now. I can’t imagine why you would care…”

The voice purred in a low tone. “It’s just a speck of dust. And after all…. You never were that well acquainted with her anyways…”

That was the wrong thing to say that was the wrong thing to say That was the wrong thing to say. She wanted to scream at the Ghost Host, but she was quite sure he wouldn’t listen because his voice sounded far too pleased with himself.

The shaking had abruptly gone silent. Solomon Gracey stumbled back a moment, before his clenched, shaking fist mimicked the tremors. And the rumbling began anew, only this time it was STRONGER. “Care to repeat that statement, sir?”

The various vases and objects that scattered the halls seemed to dance and jump; some of them even floated in midair. Every breath she took became almost painfully heavy, as it had seemed that the air had availed itself of logic and chose to be swept up in some invisible gathering vacuum. “Now, now. Think of all the priceless objects you yourself are on the verge of throwing.” Master Gracey did not appear swayed, and Karen wasn’t willing to stick around any longer. It was getting far too difficult to breath, and she wasn’t exactly sure she knew what was happening to the hallway. She lunged for the nearest door, practically tripping through it as it swung open. And instantly fell into darkness. Not just fell though; she rolled. The room before her apparently wasn’t flat or level at all, and the act of falling through the door caused her to tumble down, down down. Until she managed to catch hold of a piece of wood and cotton. Her legs were dangling, a frightful change in orientation that left her clinging to the wood and cotton by hands alone.

She could hear the door swing close, and a whispering echoed off the halls before the room began to brighten. Candelabras quite near to her up on a pedestal inexplicably came aflame, and she dared to look behind and below. Staircases. Staircases as far as the eye could see. Going up, going down, going sideways, going upside-down. Any which way you looked, with no rhyme or reason or even a contextual explanation for why there was a gigantic, chasm-like room full of staircases. Her eyes grew wide to see it, and grew wider still when she felt the lifesaving wood she clung begin to creak and give way. She was apparently on a staircase too, albeit a decrepit one that was torn off into a sheer drop. Her legs flailed as she struggled to get back up, but she could not swing them properly to hoist herself up the sides. Already, it took all of her strength just to hold on, and with each attempted swing she could hear the wood creaking and tearing further. “H-Help…” She weakly cried out towards the door. Why oh why did the door have to close? She looked all around for another staircase to jump onto, but none of them looked close enough to make it. The pressure of gravity and the weight it bore down on was numbing her hands. She again attempted to hoist herself up, but only managed to get the length of her arms to cling to the wood. A relief to her fingertips, but the muscles of her upper body still screamed at her to release. “Help! Help me!” She cried even louder, hoping to attract the attention of either of the two bickering ghosts. Or any ghost at all. But only the echoes of her own voice came back to haunt her. Were they just going to leave her? Did they care? Did they even notice she wasn’t in the hallway anymore? She was quite sure that the Ghost Host wouldn’t care, but that man, Solomon, too? The wood bent further underneath her, and the resulting lurch held a tone of finality that she was forced to acknowledge.

….. This was it, wasn’t it? This was how she died. She tried to keep her eyes from watering up as she thought about Michael. He was already dead, wasn’t he? If he survived that fall, he likely had to deal with a lot of the same stuff she did. It would be just like that Ghost Host to string her along on a thin thread of hope. She tried another swing to hoist herself up, but wood bent again in a dangerous direction and she was frightened to continue, even as her arms were getting exhausted. Her parents. Her parents didn’t even know she was here. They were off on vacation visiting relatives in New York and wouldn’t be back until the day after tomorrow. What would they do when they came back and she wasn’t home? Would they even know where to look for her? Tears streaming down her face, they fell off her chin to the deep chasm below. This was how she died, wasn’t it?

The tears were making her eyesight blurry. The door in front of her, out of reach, taunting her with safety, started to wiggle in her vision. Bright and murky to her tear smudged eyes. “Please help….” Her cry was even weaker now. The strain of holding up her own weight. Feet dangling below. The crackling of wood underneath her arms.

Crack. No. Nothing to lose now, she swung herself again. The wood bent once more. CRACK. Please! One tip of her foot managed to make contact with the top of the wood she clung to. She tried to maneuver it so that she could use it as a hook to get the rest of hers-- SNAP! The light of the candles moving further and further….away…. Tears falling upwards. Stomach dropping down. Arms wildly reaching around. Something. Anything. .... . …Nothing… ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Falling Falling Falling. We all Fall down. A little teeny tiny speck. In a Giant Well. The girl fell faster than expected. Gravity is so funny, isn’t it? Just before her body struck the ground, a flash of light came. Funny, funny, Gravity. And the girl was held, suspended and unconscious. Her tiny mortal frame, still breathing, looked so small against the majesty of the never ending stairs. Here it is. You’ve hit rock bottom, child. And the flash of light coalesced to wrap around the cut of her figure.

Floating. Glowing. She lay there. Inches from the ground…. ….But it would not be the ground for long. For the light twisted her around; the orientation of the staircases was too lopsided. Indeed, she was not facing the floor at all. For she had fallen upwards. She had just avoided the fate of becoming a splat on the ceiling. Another flash of light, this time pulsating. With each rhythmic spurt, the light turned into the shape of a spider’s web. And the girl like a fly in its center.

Foolish mortals they say. Foolish mortals. Why am I here again? What was I doing? Foolish mortals. The sound of the sea. Gentle waves, gentle. I smell a rat. Wiggling up the stairs. No. Not a rat. A gentleman. Who is that? Good man. Very nice man. I like him. Oh, I like him. He can pass. Sheep and shepherds.

A man appeared. Or rather, a figure materialized. Out from the wind of the hallway, his head, then his body, then his arms. Bent over, he walked with a cane. Even in spite of the fact that his legs had yet to appear.

There was a crooked man. He walked with a crooked cane. But everybody loved him. Just and all the same. On his head was a top hat. In his ghostly smile, a gold tooth. A cane in one hand. And in the opposite, a box. He raised the box up like a lantern as he came to the chasm that was filled with the staircases. And he tapped his cane. Once. Twice. The floating mortal’s body jerked in mid-air, another flash of light scattering and breaking the glow that had held a tentative spider web pattern. The body fell a few feet to where he was, before stopping again in mid-air right before it hit the ground. The man leaned forward, as if to inspect the mortal’s face, before letting out a grumble. In a swoop of his cape, he turned to go back down the hall whence he came from. And the unconscious body of the mortal floated along behind him akin to being pulled by invisible balloon strings. Down, down the hall, the unconscious mortal in tow. ~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Babbling and gurgling as it trickled along; it was a delight to hear the river and give herself a reprieve from the nightmares of the house. That’s why she came here…That’s always why. Her voice was carried along with the sounds of the water, just as the leaves were swept up in the current. She sang low enough that any passerby would have to strain to listen in, but that likely wasn’t even necessary. The little open space among the density of the trees wasn’t something people were likely to look for to begin with. And her emerald green uniform would surely provide camouflage at any rate. Her voice was wordless. It was just tones, going from high to low in whatever fashion pleased her. And she had loosened her hair so that the blond locks hung around her face like a curtain protecting her from the outside world. The tears would come to fall behind them. She sung of the pains of the day. She sung of what she would have to face should she return. She sung to escape. A bit of peace, a bit of paradise, a bit of comfort, a bit of calm. It would not last forever. Singing her life away in that glade. But in that moment, she sang for herself, even if it was just to bemoan the inevitability that she would have to stop. “They’ll take yer offer, you know.” Her voice caught off in a startle, and she turned to see a man beside her. The weathered state of his skin suggested long hours working in the sun and made him look older, but there was a certain youthfulness about his eyes that suggested he was perhaps only a handful of years away from her own age. He smiled rather good-naturely and openly, even as his back was bent over in an uncomfortable state and he leaned heavily on the gnarled cane in his hand. “Is this spot taken?” He asked with humor, nodding to the very empty surroundings beside her, “Or would you wish me to leave you be?” “You….are more than welcome to it, sir. I cannot stop you.” “But you can say ‘no’, miss. And I’ll honor that and be off with myself. Though not before I compliment the owner of the very pretty voice that I happened to come upon while looking for a spot meself on the river…” He had a strange accent about him.

“You come here often, then, sir?” “Aye. To fish.” “You’re a fisherman?” “Used to be more than that. I was a sailor once. But I’m content to dabble in what fish I can sell now.” “What happened?” She asked, a glance towards his crooked back. “A storm we happened upon, and one of the riggings broke and snapped me back as I tried to secure our cargo. Cargo ended up securing me; right on the deck I was pinned. Neither my leg nor my back have ever been a right straight since.”

“That sounds so awful. I’m so sorry…” But he waved her apology away. “It’s all right. My ol’ Captain gives me a stipend now. For bravery and the loss of my good work, and on the account that I’m young. Can’t do much anymore, but the fishing helps. And I can still manage to go out on the water a bit whenever I get lonely for the open sea. The adventure of it.” His eyes glistened. “I may not be the richest in the world, but I count my stars every day that I’m alive. And I’m happy where I’m at, and that’s really all that matters, isn’t it?” “Yes…” She agreed, solemnly going back to staring at the river. Before she realized he was still standing. “Oh! Won’t you sit? That must be painful.” “Now is that what you want, Miss? I ask again, because I am not one to intrude upon a lady if she means to have a private moment to herself. And I didn’t mean to disturb you if that’s really what you came out here for.” Her eyes snapped to his at this. His chocolate brown eyes softening as she did, and they proved that he was genuine in his statement. People usually didn’t ask her what she wanted. Raised as a servant all her life, kept in that house all her life, it wasn’t really a concept that she was used to. It was hard to maintain ‘privacy’ or any semblance of independence when you had to share a room with three other girls, and were at the beck and call of others. “I want...I want you to join me,” She said. ”Please. And, perhaps, tell me what you meant before. That they would accept my offer…who is ‘they’?” “The mermaids, of course,” He said, grinning at her as he carefully settled down with his good leg going first. “They’ll come to ya, lured by the singing.” “I thought they were only out on the ocean.” She smiled back at him. The thought of mermaids never crossed her mind. She wasn’t even sure if she believed in them, but the man’s smile was infectious. And his relaxed air about him as he spoke was addicting. “No no, miss. Sure, they love the open sea air better, but they’re just as likely to be spotted in the rivers. Anytime you see a glint of scaly tails that looks too big to be a fish…and beautiful hair that’s too impossible to belong to a human….That’s when you’ll know. Mermaids about in these waters.” “And they’ll come to me to eat me, right? I’ve heard stories about their appetites.” “Appetites they have in spades, true. But it’s for sailors like meself or pirates that they’re most brutal.” He patted his chest. “Don’t completely blame them none either; a right lot of us ain’t always the pleasant sort. But for the young ladies who sit so mournfully, they’ll come to you and say so sweetly ‘Why, what a lovely voice you have! And how sad you look! Will you tell us whatever is wrong, that we might fix it?’” Here she gave a smile both sad and amused, because he had clearly noticed her distress and thought to ask about it in a roundabout method with a little story. “I’m a servant in a household…” She paused, thinking to edit out too many details. He was a stranger. “The eldest son of the master has been making things…difficult for me. He asks for things I do not wish to give. And I cannot garner sympathy from the other servants because they all either lecture me or shun me. I feel alone.”

The man was silent. She looked over at him to see him pensively staring out into the water. The river bubbled along the banks where they sat. “Well,” He said, flashing her a kind smile. “I suppose the mermaids would say then ‘Come away come away with us! We’ll take you down to the depths of the sea, and none will be able to reach you!’” She laughed, a noise that was nearly unknown to her at that point. “But I would drown!” “Not so! The kiss of the mermaid would give you the lungs of a fish, and you could wander the depths at will! And they may do more than that, and grant upon you the chance to join among their immortal selves. To swim freely through the ocean, and have all the reefs as your personal boudoir, and to dance among the dolphins as they leap into the sky!” He accented this note with a hand waving stretching into the heavens. “And then…” he continued. “You needn’t ever come back. Or, if the thought fancies you, you could return and unleash torment upon the young man of your former master. He will never know peace after hearing the siren’s song of the mermaids!” As his tale grew more wild and fanciful, she couldn’t help but giggle along to it. It sounded like the sort of story of her girlhood dreams, all the fairytales she grew up with. And she couldn’t help herself but to continue playing along. “Oh but I couldn’t! If the lovely mermaids would have me, I would be far too busy making friends with the fish and the whales. And learning about all the ocean life. Or perhaps simply gazing upon the waves as they crash on the shore.” But her smile faltered, and the solemnity returned a bit. “Besides which…I don’t think I could stomach taking revenge. Even if he is a beastly man at times. I suppose that makes me weak willed, doesn’t it?” “Not at all. I think that shows a strength of character. Few others would even hesitate; don’t judge yourself by their standards.” He touched her very gently at the shoulder, so much so that she thought she imagined it at first. But when she went to turn, it was clear he meant to attract her attention. “Even if you were not to return for the sake of revenge,” He repeatedly tapped his chest with a single finger with a sheepish demeanor, “Won’t you take pity on this poor fisherman, and perhaps return to show him all the best spots to catch his favorite striped bass?” And she laughed again, this time more freely and warmly as he grinned from ear to ear. “Of course, of course sir! And you will never go a day without a full boat or a full stomach!” “Aha!” He cried, and he held his cane to the sky like he’d proudly pulled Excalibur itself from the waters, “And I shall be wealthy! Wealthy in fish, that is!” He laughed alongside her, the two of the chuckling more like school children than the young adults they were. As they sat, leaning on each other for support, by the banks of the river. “…My name is Emily…” she said, as she continued to lean on his shoulder, not caring at all for impropriety in that moment. “May I ask yours, sir?” “Roland is the name, miss.” He said, making no move to push her off nor to take advantage of it. “Although folks always call me ‘Rolly’…” “Rolly…” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything ached. Her head, her arms, her legs. Her vision was blurry, but it became clearer as she attempted to sit up and gaze her surroundings. The actual attempt at sitting up, however, failed. She flopped back onto whatever soft thing she awoke on, a new ache of pain accompanying her back. Whatever did she do to cause this? Where was she? She remembered a river. …..No. That wasn’t her. That was someone else. ….That was another memory. And a hazy one, at that; she knew enough to recognize Emily as the one crying, but the man remained a bigger part of a mystery. He seemed so eerily familiar, yet the image of his appearance could not stay in her attention and blurred out like the remnants of a recently forgotten dream. A more comforting dream than she was willing to admit; though she ached, she felt calm. Complete calm. At peace with herself. But her backtrack through her own memories brought with it a steady uneasiness. She remembered that she was in a mansion, but she couldn’t remember the last thing she…. The fall!

Karen shot up in place, newly wide eyed, hands grasping around for purchase. She grabbed more soft things, her brain finally starting to wake up enough to register that she was laying on an old, but clean looking, mattress. A mattress on top of an old brass bedframe, a bundle of blankets piled on top of her explaining the warmth. Now that those selfsame blankets were removed from her upper half, she got a sense of how truly freezing it was. The cold was turning the gears in her head. If there really was life after death, how did you know if you’ve already died? She frantically grabbed at her own wrist, and was rewarded with a strong but quickened pulse. The remnants of spider bites still layered over her hands. She painfully pinched one of them to the point where a tiny drop of blood oozed out. Those were the telltale signs…right? A sigh of relief left her lips, and settled down under the blankets for a moment. Her aching limbs and even her head were starting to feel a little bit better, as if the little bit of movement eased her body back into remembering how to work. She wondered what part of the house she was in. The room was slightly illuminated with a bluish-green glow. And all around her were piles of…the best way she could describe it was “junk”. There was junk everywhere. Old trunks, old books scattered about, chairs, wicker baskets, vases, tableware, small statues and figurines, model boats, and portrait frames without any portraits in them. Her chest heaved as she took in a deep breath as she nuzzled the pillow. There were no Ghost Hosts to pester her, no memories currently assailing her, no creepy statues chasing after her, no dark chasms full of staircases to fall into. The bed, even though it sadly was not her bed, brought with it a sense of complete peace. She could get used to this. There was a gentle scratching sound in the room. She had ignored it until now, but her thoughts had come full circle and began to wonder how she had gotten in this bed. Surely, someone had put her here. And that, perhaps, they were still in the room with her. The bed dipped and creaked as she slowly rose. Her body was mostly better, but her arms still hurt. The result, no doubt, of hanging on for dear life not too long ago. The chill in the air forced her to take one of the blankets and wrap it around herself like a cape before she made her way through a tentative path marked through the junk piles. In a different setting, back in Mr. Vance’s shop, she’d have loved nothing more than to go through all of these old things and admire them. Perhaps even wonder about their histories. But now she wondered if touching things was partially to blame for all the memories she’d been seeing. She wondered if she would not cause herself more grief than it was worth to trudge through mountains of books or a pile of…

….Boxes…. She stopped at the boxes. Unusually shaped boxes…like luggage. They must have had a specific purpose, since they all looked similar, but she didn’t know quite know enough about travel history to be able to place what they were for. But one of them… …looked just like the strange fishing tackle that Mr. Mortimer always carried. She heard shifting nearby, she was getting closer to the glow, and she looked around the corner to find… A man with no head. She stumbled back into boxes, partially tripping on the blanket. In spite of all the creepy things she’d seen so far, this was still a sight she hadn’t been expected. The headless body was clothed in what looked like a buttoned down sailor’s raincoat, with a high collar cape paired over it. An overly fancy top hat hovered in midair above the blank space where a head ought to be. And the whole being was glowing in dull blues and greens.

Her noisy retreat apparently caught the attention of the headless man, or it would be assumed to be the case, for he stopped wilting a stick of wood and straightened up. “Awake, are we?” The voice caused her to shriek and back away from the boxes she’d just stumbled into. There was a head in one of them, shining with such a strong, green light that the box itself may as well have been made of a see-through material. Perhaps it was. The head chuckled at her reaction, and the whole box toppled over to roll across the floor towards the body. Denying physics, the box and its contained head roll jumped as it reached its destination, the degree of spin it displayed was just enough so that the handle of the box easily snagged the waiting hand of the body. Box in hand now, the body took a few steps towards her, the head disappearing from the box only to reappear moments later atop the pair of shoulders. The ghost giving her an all too familiar gold toothed grin all the while. Now that the two were reunited, and she had a moment to fully look at him… “…Mr….Mortimer…?” “Aye, young’un.” She did a double take. Looking from his newly completed self, all green and bluish see through glow, to the box he held. She recognized it as the very same box he often used as fishing tackle. Her mouth agape, she took in his extremely skeletal, glow-y appearance. “What….you…you can’t be dead!” “Oh? Am I not?” He said, clearly amused as he made a show of examining his own arms. “We just talked to you this evening! You…You were alive just this evening!” “A lot can happen in a few hours, young’un.” He said, completely stoney-faced. “Did you…did you die since then? It wasn’t of old age was it? It can’t be. You don’t look more than 40—“ “Thank you kindly,” He said, this time with a smile and even greater amusement dancing in his eyes.

“Who killed you then?! What happened?! It was that Ghost Host, wasn’t it—“ He raised a hand to stop her. “Young’un, it was a joke. Believe you me, I’ve been dead since long before you were even born.” It took her a few seconds to process those words. “But…..but you were alive…” She said again, softly this time, as she stared off at nothing in particular. “Was I, young’un? Or did I just look alive?”

She attempted, again, to think this through. He still glowed with an unearthly light, and she realized she could count ribs underneath the sheen of the raincoat. He was like a skeleton. A talking, walking skeleton in clothing. “…I’m still dreaming, aren’t I? Or maybe I’m dead. I-I’m dead…I…I-I-I really fell to my death off that staircase, and now my body is just lying there, or maybe it’s just gone splat and there’s nothing left but a bunch of c-cracked bones and blood an-“ “--Young’un, you’re not-” He stepped forward, and she stumbled back. He raised his hand again, but this time it was a gesture of surrender. “It’s all right, young’un.” In spite of the skulled visage, she could still see traces of the Mr. Mortimer she knew. It was there in the way he now looked at her; full of concern and consideration. “It’s all right,” He said again, softer now, “You aren’t dead, and I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m no different than all the times you’ve seen me before. You just know a bit more about me, that’s all.” Again, the gears in her head tried to work themselves around this. All those moments she’d seen him in town. All the people he’d talked to. “You’re dead…All this….all this time…? The. The people. In town…” “Been doin’ this for decades now. Not always here, you see. Every forty years or so, I’ve had to go the town over to make sure no one got too suspicious that I hadn’t died off yet. Age myself here and there so I look like I’m gaining years like everyone else. I fancy I put on a right good show; no one ever questions whether that ol’ fisherman stumbling around is alive.” He gave her a winning grin. “Although I reckon it’s pretty common to assume anyone and everyone who can stumble around is alive, eh?” He said. Her mouth went dry as she looked back up at him. “All the…all the times I sat by you while you fishing at the river...a-and you would tell me stories…” His smile disappeared as he nodded solemnly. “Yes….I was dead all of those times, too.” Her head was spinning. She felt betrayed, but for reasons beyond her grasp or understanding. He had felt cold all those times she had been near him. Cold to the touch, cold in his presence, cold just by looking at him; those inexplicable feelings were beginning to make sense. And something else clicked. “…That was you in the memory…” “That was what now?” “You’re Rolly…Rolly Mortimer…Is that…? That has to be…Your full name. And you were by the river. Emily Slater,” She said, facing him fully, the anxiety replaced with a strange sort of excitement as she regained the energy to stand.

Flickers of emotion consumed his face, but they settled on furrowed concern. “Emily…How did you come by that name?” She shifted uncomfortably. “I’ve been seeing strange things. Ever since I came here. I don’t know. They’re kinda like funny daydreams. And bits of info just sort of pop into my head all the time…” His concern wearied off into contemplation. “Daydreams, you say? And do they happen a lot whenever you happen to touch something?” She nodded glumly. “Especially this.” Her hand almost automatically went straight for it; the ring in her jacket pocket. She had to stop herself and overturn her jacket instead. Guilt tripped her a little as the ring tripped out onto the floor. “Sorry, I just. I just don’t want to-“ “Touch it. I know.” Whatever he was thinking, it was certainly emotional. The profound sense of sorrow in his eyes laid bare the reasons for his slow reluctance to set aside his box and pick the ring up. “Is it yours, Mr. Mortimer?” He did not say anything immediately, but turned the ring over in his hand admiring its every facet. “….No, it is not. It belonged to Emily’s mother, and it was the only thing she had left to remember either of her parents by.” He tenderly put the ring into a hidden compartment in one of the old dressers nearby. His gaze still entranced enough to stare at the dresser. “I will have to...I will have to try and return to Emily when I get the opportunity…” That peaked Karen’s interest…and she couldn’t understand why. It felt like an urge, much like all of the strange emotions and images that had been assaulting her up until this point. “Is Emily here? In this house?” Mr. Mortimer paused. “She…is present in the house, yes. But…” “….Is….there something wrong with her…?” Mr. Mortimer stood staring at the dresser he’d put the ring in. Silently, he was shaking his head. Shaking his head and going to fetch a gnarled old cane from nearby that held all the markings of being a wilting project itself. “It doesn’t matter much, young’un. We aren’t likely to meet her at this time of night, so you needn’t get your hopes up too much. Besides, she’s not…” A wince of sorrow. “…She isn’t quite able to have visitors. She doesn’t respond much to any of us who knew her in life, she’s not likely to respond to a stranger.” “Is she like the ghost that I met that was stuck in the wallpaper?” “…One of the Wanderers…” “Wanderers?” He grumbled. “Now see here, young’un. Unlike some people ‘round here, I don’t mind too much the questions. It’s only natural to be curious. But that don’t change the fact that you have no business being here in the first place.” He lifted his cane and waved it in the air alongside his scolding. Never hit her, never touched her, but the way it danced it was clear he was a little peeved about this. And, for her part, she felt a little guilty. “I did tell you, didn’t I? I warned you not to go off and follow Nell home! And just what did you do, hmm?” His cane settled down again and he gave her a hard stare. “B-but we didn’t! At least, not really…” She thought back to Michael, insisting they get out of the rain… that Nell said Tom Sawyer's Road was said to be a faster.... Wait. We.

Michael! “We indeed. I’ll take a gander and assume that both you and young Michael came in here together, am I correct?” Michael! Her face went hot as she grew very angry at herself. How did she forget about him? Why was her head all full of concerns about Emily and not Michael???

Again, an eerie sensation overtook her, and nausea waved up. It was like her own thoughts and feelings were slowly being replaced, one after the other.

“The floorboards.” Her voice was meek as she tried to clench her stomach against the nausea. “We were together, but that Ghost Host pulled him underneath the floorboards and I haven’t seen him since.” She looked over with fearful eyes, “I don’t..I don’t even know how long I’ve been here, how long I’ve been asleep up in this room. You don’t think he’s…” “Doubtful. That wretch has been tricking mortals into coming inside for ages now, but he doesn’t often kill them. I think he finds it part of the ‘entertainment’. But we ought to leave right away, before he comes looking for you. Especially if you have the ‘gift’. This place isn’t kind to amateur psychics; there are too many of us for it to be safe…” “Wait. What do you mean, ‘safe’? What will….what will happen to me if I stay and be, I don’t know, ‘un-safe’?”

He paused again, as if deciding whether or not to give an explanation. “You said you met a soul who had been stuck in the wallpaper, right?” “Yeah.” “Was there anything you found a bit odd about them?” She thought about it. “She had pale white eyes and no pupils. And she thought I was Emily. At least, at first she did. After she got a good look at me, her eyes started to look more normal…” When she looked back at Mr. Mortimer, he had cautious hope in his eyes. “She managed to see you, did she? See you as you really are…” “What does that mean?” “Poor souls like that, they all have stark white eyes. Like the pupils had right been stolen from them. They’re called Wanderers. Or Wandering Souls. Or the Lost. It’s all the same meaning. They don’t immediately recognize you for a mortal because oftentimes they can’t. Most of the time, they don’t even realize what year it is….or that they’re even dead. Stuck in the past, some might say, and certainly not by choice. And many of them have to relive the same old horrors of their life again…and again….and again…” “That’s….that’s horrible! Isn’t there any way to help them or something? Free them?” Mr. Mortimer shook his head. “None of us really know how to help them. We have suspicions…” And here he looked her over with sorrowful eyes. “…But those suspicions have been met with disagreements. And they don’t always come with permanent solutions either. Not even the Madame, as all-knowing as she seems to be, knows exactly what to do for them. Elsewise, I’d think we wouldn’t have any Wanderers at all.” He tapped the side of his head, next to his own eyes. “When they get their pupils back, it usually means they’re starting to see their surroundings as it is. And we’ve managed this a few times for some of them, but they often just lose them again. And again….and again....” Karen grew silent. “The reason I mention them…young’un. Is because. If you remain, untrained, in this house where there are so many of us souls…You’ll become Lost as well…” She felt her own eyes grow as wide as saucers. “I’ll be stuck in the wallpaper??!” Mr. Mortimer opened his mouth, but that quickly spiraled into laughter. “N-No…No…young’un. You…You still got a body...Bodies can’t go off and melt themselves into walls, ya know…” He settled down into a cough. “But it’s your mind you ought to be concerned about. If you keep on like this, having everyone’s feelings and thoughts going through your head, you’ll eventually start to think they’re yours. You’ll start to forget stuff about yourself and start to ‘remember’ stuff about some of the souls here. And with nearly a thousand of us…well…you’ll be right swallowed up like a boat capsizing out in a storm.” “And I’ll…be someone else? I’ll forget myself …forever?” He gave her a kind smile and shook his head. “No, not forever. Mortal psychics have an advantage here; you’ve got a body still. That alone can help anchor you to the present in ways that we can’t. Mortals don’t get Lost for long, but that may require that they’re removed from us souls so they can recover…” “But if I’m not! If I end up trapped here. A-and I get Lost…” “Now don’t you go and worry about that. There’s a whole crowd of us here in this one single house; someone would find you and let you out. It’d be impossible for you to go unnoticed.”

“If I’m found by someone nice, you mean…” Karen said bitterly, thinking back to the Ghost Host. “Most of us are a right sort. A lot of the nasty fellows are locked up nice and tight; ya shouldn’t come across any of those.” “But what about the Wanderers?” “Wanderers are a right fright to a mortal, I imagine, since it can be hard to understand why they do what they do. There off in their own little world; can be hard to figure out what they’re planning next and how to react. But they’re not scary on purpose. Not vicious.” He went to go and grab his box.

“And they’re mostly harmless.” He said, “In all the century I’ve been here, never known one of them to kill a mortal. And never known them to hurt one on purpose either. Accidental injuries we’ve had, often cause the mortal’s busy scrambling to get away, but never death. Which is about twenty less than what I can say of the Host.” “The Ghost Host killed twenty people?” Her mouth felt dry. “That I’m aware of. Won’t be surprised if he’s killed more and did off with the evidence.”

“But why do you—“ “Now young’un. We’ve got to get you home and find poor Michael. We can’t spend all night talking here.” Mr. Mortimer motioned for her to follow as he began to hobble his way out of the room, a cane in one hand and his box in the other. “You’re both gonna need to get home, and the sooner the better.” She willingly followed him into the dark hallway, still burning with questions, but just was desperate to find Michael. The unearthly glow he gave off lit the way, and illuminated floorboards full of dust and cobwebs. She was just about to question him some more when the door slammed shut behind her on its own and she visibly jumped some feet into the air. “Sorry.” He said, looking genuinely guilty. “I’m so used to being free to do that here that I clean forgot you’re probably not.” He just opened up a million other questions related to how ghosts manipulated physical objects, but as they began their trek down the hall she went with something she was most concerned about. “Why do you all let a murderer free like that to torment…erm….m-mortals? What happens if he decided to go into town??? You’ve been to town, so he should be able to leave too, right?”

“That fellow is only free on the account that he’s one of the four most powerful in the whole house. Otherwise, I tell you, Young’un, he’d be locked up just as much as the other malicious souls. But the Madame likes him free, and I can’t be damned to know what goes through that woman’s head sometimes.” His cane clacked against the floorboards with each swing. “And yes, he can go into town. But he doesn’t like to do so, and I can’t be damned to know what goes through his mind either.” The dark gloomy hallways looked a lot like all the ones she’d seen before; stretched out and going on for miles. Yet it was remarkable how much friendlier it felt walking beside someone she knew who had their own built in flashlight. Who was their own built in flashlight. “Who are the other four?” “The Fearsome Foursome.” He gave a snort, “There’s the Madame Leota; I believe I’ve mentioned her before. She’s was a powerful psychic in live, and an even more powerful one in death. That damnable wretch, the so-called ‘Ghost Host’. There’s also meself. And Mr. Solomon Gracey. Any one of us is a match for the other, or so they say.” “Then…then you could drive off the Ghost Host? I don’t have to deal with him anymore??” Safety. Real safety. And she felt so much relief, even just thinking of it. The Ghost Host not even being able to touch her. “Normally I could… And I would…”

He gave her a sideline look of stern disapproval. “And he is exactly the reason why I didn’t want either of you coming ‘round here…” She winced and gave a half smile as an apology. He continued walking. “…But I don’t think you have a know-how into how much effort it takes to go into town like I did all this afternoon and evening. In here, the Madame’s power helps with making us…you know.” He waved his cane hand up and down his form to draw attention to it.

“Look like something.” He said. “Out there, you’re left to figure yourself out. Put up a complicated illusion that gets people thinking you’ve got a body like them; solid and everything. Takes the wind out of you, even after all these years of practice. May not have a body anymore, but can still tire out; remember that, young’un. So we best be avoiding him, just in case.” As they reached the length of the hallway, he opened up an old door with a gargoyle statue framing the top of it. Even in the gloomy darkness, she could see a set of stairs going down. Giant spider webs stretched from one end of the stairway to the other, and her queasiness returned to see what looked like a pair of eyes staring back at her. The house was still watching.

#fanfiction #haunted mansion fanfiction #the haunted mansion fanfiction #fanfics #my fanfiction

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nochuuuenthusiast · 5 years

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tag!

hii~ so i got tagged by @snugglemejeon thank you so much ! i think this is really cute hehe (to the people i tagged: i’m sorry if i tagged you and we haven’t talked that much... i don’t know that many people on tumblr... and also, you don’t have to do this challenge, so feel free to ignore it !)

rules are: (1) tag the person who tagged you (2) answer the questions (3) tag 10 people (sorry i don’t know that many people here on tumblr so i’m only gonna tag one or two :( but ps! if you wanna be friends with me, don’t hold back and just talk to me hehe)

(1) how tall are you?

i haven’t checked in a bit but i’m about 5′2″ (ish) so that’s around 158cm (*sighs* yeah i know... i’m pretty short)

(2) what color and style is your hair?

i actually got a haircut yesterday before my blackpink concert hehe so now my hair is layered and it goes a little past my shoulders. i didn’t start growing out my hair until late last year since i used to always cut it short (like, a little above my shoulders) so yeah... i used to dye my hair a longgg longggg time ago but now it’s its original color which is dark brown

(3) what color are your eyes?

a solid brown (not totally light, but not too dark) (my mom has really pretty light brown eyes but they didn’t get passed down to me so ahhaha *cries*)

(4) do you wear glasses?

yes, but no (?) i have glasses but i don’t wear them 24/7 since my eyesight isn’t that bad... i only wear them in class when i’m too far away from the board. i have kinda circular, brown glasses (lmao, i know no one asked but...)

(5) do you wear braces?

i used to wear braces a couple of years ago so now i just wear my retainers once a week (you’re supposed to wear them every night but whatever,,, i’m pretty lazy and irresponsible and my teeth haven’t shifted sooo once a week will do ahah)

(6) what’s your fashion sense?

i care about how i dress but i don’t worry about how i look all the time soooo... i’ll sum up my style in a few words: 26 year old single korean girl walking to an aesthetic cafe on a sunday afternoon. yeah. that’s basically my style. lol i hope you guys understand what i mean... if not, i’m terribly sorry

(7) full name?

only a few people on tumblr know my name... but i don’t want to reveal it here since i know everyone can see this, and tumblr is the only social media platform where my identity is hidden sooo...

but if you want to get to know me and learn my name then you can definitely message me or send something to me :) i’m nice, i swear

(8) when were you born?

july 2001; i’m 17 ;)

(9) where are you from and where do you live now?

i was born and currently live in los angeles, california however, i am 100% korean. both of my parents were born and raised in south korea. and yes, i am fluent in korean.

(10) what school do you go to?

i am a highschooler. and that’s all i’m gonna say. skool sucks :P

(11) what kind of student are you?

i would like to say that i’m more of a hard worker than a naturally smart person, but i am currently getting straight As and for those of you who live in the us, i’m taking 5 APs (which totally sucks :’( but i’m handling them kinda well... i think). and i don’t really like being complimented because one of my biggest fears is of me becoming arrogant so let’s move on,,, pls.

(12) do you like school?

hell no. but i have to deal with it since everyone does so :/// school isn’t that bad if you daydream and think about bts all day hehe. but in all seriousness, i think school is okay if you have the right friends to hang out with and talk to

(13) favorite subject?

history!!! i know this is really weird since not a lot of people like history, but i love ittt!!! i think it’s really fun since it’s kinda like one big story of our world (i’m sorry, i’m such a dork)... i took ap art history last year and i fell in love with it!

(14) favorite tv shows?

i used to watch kdramas a longgg time ago, but i kinda stopped but idk why... but my favorite tv shows are friends, the office, stranger things, jane the virgin, etc, etc... i can literally name so many tv shows that i’ve watched but then i’d go rambling on and on and on and i don’t want to bore anyone...

(15) favorite movie?

forrest gump !!! (and also, did anyone see the two bts movies? i watched both of them at cgv and i literally exploded when i saw the members... okay, moving on (sorry... i get off topic really easily))

(16) favorite books?

i read a book called “pachinko” by min jin lee over the summer and it was so! freaking! good!!! i highly recommend it everyone~ it’s a historical fiction novel about 3-4 generations of this korean family who lived in korea and then moved to japan. it takes place a little before the korean war and it talks about the discrimination that koreans faced in japan at the time. i recently went to the library to check it out since i wanted to read it again but they didn’t have an english copy of the book so i’m reading it in korean at the moment.

(17) favorite pastime?

rewatching and rewatching and rewatching bangtan. oh, and streaming their new album ;) oh, and stressing over the new test questions on the fan cafe that the staff upload every week (i need to level up but the test is so hard... i cry every time)

and writing for this blog! i originally made this blog to de-stress and write some scenarios and reactions and i didn’t know that people would actually like them and respond to them,,, so hey, thank you :) you make me happy every day

(18) do you have any regrets?

yes. too many to count. but i’m not gonna sit here and list them all lol

(19) dream job?

i don’t really know... but something in corporate law (?)

(20) would you ever like to be married?

yessss! have you seen my entire blog??? it’s an entire fluff kingdom!!! i mean, i know that marriage is not just one big fluff and i know that it’s tough, but i would still like to get married one day

i have my own little fantasies about how married life would be, but that’s a little secret so i’ll save it for next time ;)

(21) would you like to have kids?

as much as i love kids, i’m not too sure if i would want any... i mean, obviously my answer will change in the future, but i kinda want either no kids or just one kid... the responsibility of being a parent kinda freaks me out...

(22) how many?

oops, i kinda answered this already in (21) but i’ll answer again anyway: 0-1

(23) do you like shopping?

no, i absolutely LOVE shopping. i think i’m addicted lmao.

psssss: i know no one asked, but my favorite retail shop is madewell

(24) what countries have you visited?

ahhh finally... the question i’ve been waiting for... so if you get to know me, i really really really reallyyyyy love traveling and i’m so grateful for all the opportunities i’ve been given to travel at such a young age.

so, let me just list all the places i’ve been to (an i know not all of these are countries, or out of the us, but just hear me out,,, okay?) : france, italy, south korea, mexico, us (hawaii, nevada, utah, etc (lol, i can’t remember all of them))

my favorite location out of all of these places is definitely italy <3 (italy has my heart)... i stayed at rome and i also visited pompeii and positano (which were absolutely stunning and beautiful). i went to rome last spring (around april/may) and i personally, really love sightseeing and history and since rome is full of those two things i reallyyy enjoyed it there. oh, and don’t even get me started with the food <3333

i also really loved france... i stayed at paris and my favorite thing about paris was definitely the louvre museum (once again, i love art history) as well as this place called montmarte (ahh! it’s so pretty)

and last but not least, (as much as i love love loveee south korea) i really enjoyed mexico! i love calming, relaxing vacation spots so i got to go to cancun (twice!) and snorkel and swim and see little fishies in the clear turquoise ocean... yeah, i miss it there... :(

(25) scariest nightmare you have ever had

i would totally tell you guys, but it was too complicated so i’m not even gonna bother.

(26) any enemies?

i am a lover, not a fighter (hehe)

(27) any significant other?

does jungkook count? lmaooo it’s a joke... he doesn’t even know i exist lol.

my answer is no.

(28) do you get along with you family?

yes, yes i do.

(29) do you believe in miracles?

i believe things happen for a reason... so does that count?

last but not least... (30) how are you?

i’m actually doing pretty well :))) i was in this really big emotional slump that kinda felt like a roller coaster ride last year, but i’m over it now so... yeah... i doing pretty well :)

okay, so now that i’m done, i have to tag people, and like i said, i don’t talk to that many people on tumblr since i’m a loser lol so here are the people i’ll tag (sorry, i’m not gonna tag 10 people) :

@pjmochii @jsuga @kpopsffct @ anyone who wants to do it...

but yea, i seriously don’t know that many people since i haven’t been on tumblr for a long time, so i’m sorry to the people who i tagged (if i haven’t talked to you a lot, i’m sorry... i’ll try to be a better person and try to talk to you more ...)

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starberry-cupcake · 6 years

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So, about that post on ya lit and age...

Regarding that post about how all YA books are about teens and why there aren’t YA books with adults/actual young adults and how readers want the same themes of YA books in adult books (I hear you pal, believe me).

I wanted to point out that when a book series has themes of fantasy and sci fi, even if it has adult characters and is aimed to an adult audience, it’s widely read by what we can consider a YA demographic. Because that demographic is, as of the standards of today, the “fandom” demographic, and is growing up as the years go by. Nowadays I’d say it goes up to at least the mid to late 30s. What people consider the YA audience is what people see as the actively online fandom audience of today. This is what publishers, to me, have been doing wrong for the last 10+ years when it comes to YA and boy oh boy did I have to attend congress upon conference upon lecture on the subject with traditional publishers not understanding the point.

Because I happened to have grown in the fandom sphere and studied publishing as the online fandom culture was growing and I was, on one side, an active fandom person collaborating with fan-run book-based projects online for 0 money (podcasts, fanfiction, fansites, forums, you name it) and, on the other side, I was dressed impeccably pretending to be an adult with my official lanyard attending conferences during my early 20s.

What is often overlooked in conversations about YA is that stuff like LOTR, ASOIAF, La Saga de los Confines, Good Omens, and so on and so forth, even if they are aimed at an adult demographic, are widely consumed by the YA audience. We’ll talk about differences in publishing perception of male authors and female authors and binary normative pre-conceptions on another time.

The problem to me isn’t necessarily just that publishers don’t see YA extending further than teen leads, it’s also that they don’t see that what generates a fandom audience, which is the one they call YA without really delving into whether they are YA or not. They don’t see that isn’t about themes or similar characteristics but on content.

One of those days in which I was at one of these congresses, I attended an international panel on YA and children lit. This was the year 2013, it’s very important for my tale. In the panel there was one representative of a French publisher and she was talking about numbers and demographic and they said that the jeunesse category had some “strange” behaviors because one of the best sold books in that demographic on the early 2013 period had been Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables. And she was like “well, it’s a classic I guess, who knows what happened there, moving on...”

So there I was, sitting on that crowd of people, listening to this talk with info-graphics and numbers and percentages, while knowing full well why this was happening. Knowing full well that my 9-chapter mutant au Les Mis fic being currently written was a good sign of what the fuck was going on.

The Les Mis fandom had awoken after a period of silence because in December of 2012 the movie of the musical came out. And, for better or worse depending on which side of the preference you stand on, the movie re-ignited an online fandom that had been mostly dormant, in comparison to other fandoms at the time.

Suddenly Les Mis had thousands of fics posted on AO3, hundreds of essays on differences in translation posted on tumblr, dozens of people looking for Hugo books. I knew full well what was happening and it had nothing to do with chance, providence or the YA demographic being “weird”. Les Mis had come back in the right moment of time and provided themes that never went out of date with the social and political climate to a young audience that was experiencing it for the first time and others who had been experiencing it in mostly dormant silence and the renewed fandom was exploring its limits once more.

Another very visible case was Pride and Prejudice coming back with full force in 2012-2013. Kids in high school absorbing Austen prose like no tomorrow. And even if the 2005 movie had put it back on the forefront of shelves, this time it was getting the full-on fandom YA treatment. Again, I knew full well why that was, because I myself was an avid subscriber of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries. And boy did that webseries open up a path for literary classics in the 2012-2016 period.

My point is, it isn’t just an age thing, it’s a content thing. Publishers don’t understand fandom because they think is merely a commercial form of consuming, which is the furthest from the truth as possible.

One side of the publishing spectrum wants to bask in fandom culture for the big bucks and thinks that producing 120 books eerily similar to one that was popular is a legit way of finding “the next big thing” (how many supernatural romance books came out after Twilight? How many young wizard books after Harry Potter? How many dystopias after The Hunger Games? and yet those three big names are entirely different from one another).

On the other side of the publishing spectrum you have the editors who think anything remotely commercial in success is a “lesser form of art” so YA is a marketing stance and not a proper literary genre and the fandom audience as a whole is a waste of time to them (I swear to god I’ve heard this more times than I can tell in all these lectures and seminars and things I’ve been to, I kid you not).

The truth is that demographics are useful to know where a book goes, for librarians, for editors, for book stores, for writers to understand their readers. But they shouldn’t be a limitation to your creativity. Don’t stop writing your book because you think it doesn’t fit within a spectrum or you’re scared it will fall on another. Listen to your story first and foremost and readers will come.

#luly rambles #about ya and publishing and editing #because boy do i have some stories to tell on this

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kichimiangra · 7 years

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I seemed to have been tagged by @super-mario-girl some reason? *Cracks Knuckles*

# Following: 186

# of Followers: uuh 432 on this blog?

Average Hours of Sleep: I like to get 8-12 hours/night but lately I’ve been surviving on 4 or 5.

Lucky Number: I have a bit of an ocd with numbers that end in 5 or 0

Instruments: *side eyes my collection* Well I have 2 Ukuleles, 2 Guitars, a mandolin, a concertina, a Ceramic Ocarina, a fife, a recorder, a pennywhistle, a piano, a keyboard, a Violin, and I just made a Kalimba out if a cigarbox. Oh yeah I also have a dulcimer I made years ago in highschool but I dunno if that counts because it’s not really playable anymore?

What Are You Wearing: Space Jam shirt, some Jammie bottoms with what I think are owls in winter hats on them, some homemade purple socks.

Dream Job: God I want to be a comic artist...

Dream Trip: I am a shut in. What is trip? I don’t leave he house?

Birthday: June 20 1991

Height: Exactly 5′3″

Gender/Pronouns: I’m female so ‘her/she’?

Other Blogs: type in “KichiMiangra” into an @ and you’ll see 3 blogs. Those are mine.

Nicknames: KC.

Star sign: Gemini

Time: it’s 3:42am

Favorite Bands: I like a large variety of music but specific bands are “Peter, Paul and Mary” and the “Bare Naked Ladies” who are all fully clothed men.

Favorite Artists on Tumblr: I’m a big fan of the art of FigmentForms and Oasiswinds

Song Stuck in Your Head: The Courage for Tomorrow Performed in English by Sandy Fox. Been stuck there all day.

Last Movie You Watched: I just saw Black Panther today. It was a good movie.

Last Show You Watched: Can’t remember. It was something in the cluster of Watching Mysteries in the Museum, something about conspiracies, and multiple UFOs. Did I ever say I wanted to write a story about a girl who gets sent back in time to ancient Egypt and romances the Pharoah Amnehotep III who totally turns out to actually be an alien? Just crazy stuff.

Why Did You Make Your Blog: I really don’t remember? I think it might have been to follow a friend who wasn’t on Deviantart as much anymore?

What Do You Post: On this blog? Whatever I feel like along with art I draw.

Last Thing You Googled: “When is Ramadan 2018?″

Ao3: I don’t have one :( I have so many stories in my mind but I am so slow of a writer that I never warranted making an account.

Do You Ever Get Asks: Ever now and then, but not on this blog. Over on my comic blog I get some though.

How Did You Get The Idea For Your Url: Ehhhhhhhhhhh Long story I guess. Back when I was 11 and still thought I was an interesting character I wrote a few stories where I was the Protagonist to cope with some almost crippling loneliness I was feeling. One of those Characters name was Suku Miangra and being sad and lonely and inadequate was sort of her only trait. Around the same time another Version of me name Kichi Larament came around that focused more on my “You’re such a smartass!” comic relief side. At one point when I was 12 I signed up for an account to a site called GaiaOnline and when coming up with a screen name I decided to take those two early versions of myself and combined the names to make KichiMiangra. Because I’m a creature of habit that’s just been my screen name ever since.

Favorite Food: Eggs. I can eat my weight in eggs. It’s amazing my cholesterol isn’t through the roof.

Last Book You Read: Beading with Cabochons. The Wizard of Oz.

Top 3 Fictional Universes: This is a hard one for me... I guess in no particular order:

1.) Final Fantasy IX (And Crystal Chronicles). God I can’t not love the world that was crafted by Square when making this game! FFIX is one of those worlds that start me into it it and just Aesthetically I love it. I love how it looks. I love how it feels. I love how it doesn’t start all dark and gloom and Suck like FFVII does and lulls you into falling in love with the peace that this world sorta has before shit starts getting real at the end of disk 1. It’s a world that legitimately feels worth saving to me. And man do I want to save it. Crystal Chronicles elicits the same feelings though.

2.) The Slayers. I can’t have a favorite universe without my favorite anime on here. The Slayers has a structured, if not somewhat generic fantasy world that has a pretty strong sense of how everything works and feels. You can jump in and not be too confused of the rules but still leaves room for the unexpected in both magical, slice of lifey, and potentially scifi-ish scenarios without feeling out of place.

3.) Stardew Valley. Really a game where you get tired of the hustle and bustle of city life and move to your grandfathers farm in a little town in Stardew Valley just chills me out. When I’m stressed out and I need life to slow the frig down I load up SDV and let the chilling music take me away. I don’t have time ti be stressed! My crops need watering, my chickens need petting, and all my boyfriends and girlfriends need presents to know I love them (I’m the town whore). I just love Stardew Valley.

(Runner up)

Jak and Daxter. If you haven’t seen my 30 day Jak and Daxter Challenge from last MARch I do a lot of complaining about how that game handled it’s own existence but I swear I wouldn’t obsess so much about it if not for that fact that I love the world that the games created and want to know more about that world and have that characters just care more. “This place is worth fighting for!” I think it is, but I wish the game did...

Eh who to tag? I’ll send it this way to @ladygreyfist and end it there... though for some reason it won’t let me @ her....

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webslingingz · 7 years

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Professional (Peter Parker x reader)

Name: Professional

Requested: no :0

Warnings: Angst, blood (kinda), swearing (v little)

Plot: Reader is an assassin. While on a mission, Peter spots her aiming at an important figure and, in the heat of the moment, jumps in front of the bullet. Reader was trained to not care, but something changed inside her when she saw the hero crumble to the ground.

(A/N): this is my first fic I’ve posted on Tumblr ever. Gg. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! The writing is kinda iffy bc I wrote this hella late in the night lol but I hope you like it anyway!

Peter Parker was a smart boy.

It was a very well-known fact to everyone who knew him.

He just wasn’t very smart when it came to quick-thinking sometimes.

“Parker, you see her yet?” Tony asks from the comm his ear, causing Peter to flinch lightly. “She’s nearby, I’m just a few…” he trails off when rounding the corner, stopping when he saw her perched up on the building in front of him. She was loading her rifle. While he was frozen, staring at her in a strange mix of fear and wonder, he noticed she was young. “Mr. Stark, do you know how old she is?” He finally speaks up, climbing the building right beside the one she was perched on. “She’s about your age, that’s why we’re trying to get her to join us..don’t you dare try to woo the target-” “I’m not! I’m…she just looks my age! I thought-” Peter stopped talking when he saw her aim. Holy shit. He didn’t expect this to happen so quickly. “She’s aiming!” He whisper-yells into the comm, not taking his eyes off the girl. She squints one eye, taking her time as she did what she did best. “What?! But she’s not supposed to…” Peter wanted to listen, he really did. But his priority was shifted drastically to figuring out what to do. Her finger grazes the trigger, and just as she pulls, Peter jumps in front of the bullet. He felt a sharp pain in his side as he slid on the harsh concrete of the roof, stopping just on the edge beside the girl.

She was shocked. And, for the first time in her career, (Y/N) felt remorse. Her eyes shoot up to the crowd and her target as they all scream and run at the sound of gunfire. (Y/N) contemplated shooting again, but after hearing the harsh groan of the boy beside her, she grunts in frustration, tossing her rifle to the side.

She doesn’t know why, but she begins to rush to him, pressing on the wound and reaching for her medkit.

“You’ll be fine. Don’t be a baby” were her “comforting” words. Peter didn’t care. He was focused on both the pain and the fact that (Y/N) (L/N), a supposed ruthless assassin, was helping him. She reaches for his mask, pulling it up slightly. Peter protests weakly, earning a sigh from the (H/C) girl. “I won’t take it off. Just bite on it to help the pain” she explains. Peter nods. “Thanks” he managed. She only replies with a nod. Peter hears a voice through his ear piece again.

“Parker! Is everything under control?” “Peter!”

Peter widens his eyes, pressing on the comm and quickly spluttering out a reply. “Uh…yeah! I was uh…hit? I got shot but it’s okay! She’s helping!” (Y/N) doesn’t acknowledge the comment, she only continues to work on his wound. Tony is audibly confused “She’s…helping you?” He asks. Peter glances at her, wincing loudly when she places a disinfectant on his wound. “Yeah! Yeah…” The older man hesitates, then sighs. “Okay, you get…that help” he exhales, defeated. “Just come back when you’re ready. And bring the girl, if you can” Peter lowers his arm, leaving himself in an awkward silence that was only broken when the assassin finally spoke up. “So…Peter Parker, huh?” She questions though it was more of a statement to the injured teen. He sighs. “Just…please, don’t tell anyone?” His question made (Y/N) chuckle. Peter furrows his brows, so she begins to explain. “Listen, I’ll keep your identity a secret if you wipe my history clean” she pulls back, signifying that she was done patching him up. “I’m helping you for this, so you gotta hear me out” Peter slowly sits up, groaning in pain but nodding anyway, eager for her to continue. “I don’t want this anymore. I mean, sure, the pay is good and all, but I don’t wanna be the villain anymore” the girl admits. Peter nods slowly. “Well, that’s actually why I’m here in the first place. Mr. Stark wanted you on our...um, organization?” (Y/N) raises an eyebrow. “Well, then yeah. Of course, I’ll join, before you even ask” she stands up, holding her hand out as a support for the weak boy. “Uh…great!” He responds, smiling awkwardly.

“Just don’t tell anybody else about this” (Y/N) adds. Peter looks down at her, brow raised.

“I’m still a professional”

I really hope you liked this! requests are open rn, so if you want you can ask me to write you something! I’m actually looking for some rn, so please do drop by! <3

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dlamp-dictator · 7 years

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Allen’s Seinen Adventure

Well... it’s finally happening, I’m finally talking about Seinen manga like I said I would last month. This is my first time talking about manga specifically and tagging it, so... hello manga readers and fandom people reading this, as well as my usual followers that like these sorts of essay-type posts I do when I’m not shitposting about Blazblue. For those that don’t know, I’m Allen X, I post little essays about niche fandom stuff I’m into on tumblr called Ramblings, and every so often try to write stories and fanfics when the mood hits me. A month back I made a post saying I was going to talk about Seinen manga since I’ve reached that lovely age of 23 where theses types of manga would interest me given my age group. I’ve been buying more and more manga in this genre as of late and I wanted to give my thoughts on the ones that have grabbed my interest and why I like them.

In my last Rambling on this topic I said I was going to try and make separate essays for each Seinen manga I wanted to talk about, but... I can’t. I just can’t. I realized it when I talked about Symphogear, I really don’t feel comfortable breaking down manga and anime the way I do with video games. I don’t know, video games are more inclusive and universal than anime and manga. When I talk about video games, gameplay, enjoyment factor, and so on, I feel like I’m talking on a level that everyone would get, at least every gamer. With manga and anime... it’s kind of niche genre, especially the stuff I’m into, so to try and talk about them in the same manner of general appeal and interest just doesn’t feel right to me. Plus, God forbid I miss something super vital about an anime or manga from my western perspective and get roasted for not understanding something in context and harping on it... God, that’s a fear I have every time I tag a Rambling.

In any case, I figured I’d do this in the style I do my Anime Updates. I’ll give a brief summary of each manga, say what I like about them, what I don’t, and if I think others should into it. So, let’s get started.

Oh actually, before I get started, just gonna’ warn everyone now that since I’m talking about Seinen manga, sexual content is bound for all that I talk about. I won’t be showing pics or anything, but just know these are +18 rated manga. Anyway, back on topic...

So, first up is Murcielago. If I had to give this show a western comparison I’d say the show Archer would be a good one. Now, I’ve only seen bits of season 1 of Archer, but I think the idea is the same. Murcielago is about a State Appointed Executioner named Kuroko Koumori, a former serial killer turned government agent, and the adventures she goes on with her loli sidekick and driver Hinako as she kills, slaughters, and executes criminals just as, if not more, dangerous than she is, as well as attempt to bang every female without a two-mile radius. Actually, now that I think about I think Killer is Dead is better comparison for this manga. Now if only Kuroko gets voiced by Patrick Seitz if an anime comes out...

I don’t know, there’s just something engaging about watching this sex-addicted, murderous lesbian go about her day. This is sort of a popcorn read, something wacky and ridiculous that just makes you laugh. The gore is over the top, the situations Kuroko gets into are just so nonsensical that you can’t help but laugh at them, and the way she gets out of jams and gives out cheesy one-liners just makes me think this manga is just a hyper-violent, hyper-sexual action movie with an sociopath protagonist. And I'm always cracking up a little when I see Hinako react to all the hyper-violence going on around her. The fact that Hinako is so innocent and carefree despite who she works with is actually pretty endearing. I like how she’s, for the most part, an innocent little loli just having to put up with all of Kuroko’s shit. I hope it remains a running gag that Hinako is at most just inconvenienced by all the violent, sexual nonsense around her and is never truly effected by it.

Like I said, this manga’s a popcorn read, and if you need some crazy, B-tier action movie nonsense in your manga collection, I recommend buying this when you can. The second volume is out and it concludes the Murder House arc. I’m looking forward to volume 3 and seeing where it goes from there.

And since I’m sticking this in the Murcielago tag, yes Murcielago Lamborghini fans, Kuroko does, in fact, drive Murcielago Lamborghini. Well, Hinako drives it specifically, crashes it every other chapter, and Kuroko buys her a new one in the following chapter... I hope that remains a running gag too.

Next up is Ubel Blatt, AKA, Not-Berserk.

Now, before everyone tells me to stop reading this and start reading Berserk just hear me out. The main thing keeping me from reading Berserk is the fact that it’s currently on volume 38 here in the West, and I’m not sinking money into an on-going manga that’s ran that long. My personal rule for long-running manga is that if it exceeds past 18 volumes I either stop at 18 or whatever arc I feel is a good stopping point and wait until that manga finishes, or I have a damn good reason to pick it up again and sink all that money back into something that could get put on hiatus at a moment’s notice depending on that artist’s health and condition. Berserk... is just too risky an investment for me to get into, and Ubel Blatt’s plot is telling me that this manga’s gonna have a clear ending at some point, likely around the volume 15 mark, so I’m choosing this one for my edgy, medieval, violent story... thing. I was scrolling around the tags a bit for Ubel Blatt to get a consensus on this manga and saw a few people essentially calling this a poor man’s Berserk. Well folks, since I’m poor as hell I’ll glad sink money into what is currently at volume 10 and not play catch up with Berserk until it finishes.

Now, onto the manga itself, I find Ubel Blatt interesting in that this series has a very clear goal and that main character is making clear strides in accomplishing that goal. The main character, Koinzell, simply wants to avenge himself and his fallen comrades after being betrayed by his former allies. It’s... basically an even edgier Tales of Beresia except with a half-fairy-elf man instead of Velvet Crow. The world is already saved, but the ones that were sacrificed for that end are less than happy about it and want revenge at the cost of screwing the stability of the world over again. I’m on volume 3 at this point and I’m pretty hooked. It really does remind me of Tales of Beresia with out they show the heroes being flawed and even devious, but the public love them regardless... well, those that aren’t being enslaved by their rule anyway.

I especially like female lead, Aht. I’ve always like the warrior-princess archtype, and Aht is definitely winning me over with her loyalty toward Koinzell, even willing to change her body and appearance to help him in combat. My only regard about her is that we don’t get to see her in that badass black dragon rider armor she was wearing in the first few volumes when she was going to try and kill Koinzell for killing her brother. That armor just hit all my aesthetics for warrior princesses... but alas, I still like her though.

I believe this manga is up to volume 10 here in the States. Now I say 10, but it’s numbered 9... for some inane reason there’s volume 0 that is not a prologue volume, so please read, as it is mandatory to understand the plot... it’s the one thing I’m gonna’ knock about this manga, but it’s a good read so far. Looking forward to getting the rest on payday.

Alright, time to talk about a manga I’ve been reading exclusively online for awhile now. As of this point I know the light novel of Goblin Slayer is out in the West, but I’m... hesitant to get it since I was hoping the manga would come first, and I honestly prefer manga to light novels anyway, the only exception I made was Magical Girl Raising Project. According to Amazon a physical copy will be for sell around December and there is a digital version out, so I think I’ll get the digital copy as a way to support the series.

Anyway, Goblin Slayer is basically about... the adventures of a goblin slayer. Yeah, I know it sounds generic, but it’s good, I swear. In Generic RPG Video Game World #492, this fine fellow kills goblins and only goblins after they killed his family. He is basically medieval Batman if Batman killed. He knows everything about goblins and how to kill them, and with his party of a healer, an archer, a shaman, and a dwarf, he’ll make sure all of them pay for taking away the ones he loved.

This manga is a bit of a deconstruction of typical RPG tropes. If you guys are familiar with anime Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash, then I’d say this is very similar to that, but with more mature themes in it. I found the world of Generic RPG Video Game World #492 rather interesting in how the goblins themselves are enough of a threat that they can kill newbie adventurers who are unprepared (and often are given goblins are seen as weak in this universe), but not enough of a threat for the higher leveled adventurers to bother fight them without high prices. It creates a cycle a of death and tragedy, real depressing stuff as the characters lament on their situation. The Goblin Slayer’s party members slowly start to understand why he hunts goblins and only goblins despite his rank, and the healer is such an endearing character. I like her interactions with the Goblin Slayer. Her innocence really compliments his gruff, silent nature, and she’s one of the few that can get more than a sentence out the guy save for his other love interest the Female Farmhand.

...

I know it sounds like I’m giving them generic names and whatnot, but manga really doesn’t give these characters names, like, at all. The Goblin Slayer is just called the Goblin Slayer by everyone in-universe, the healer is called Priestess I believe, and so on. It’s... really weird, but it works. I like where the story’s going so far, and it tempts me to get the light novel to see where things go from there. I’ll skim a few pages next time I head to the bookstore and see if the writing interests me.

In name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Lord grant me strength as I speak about this manga.

So... Tsugumomo... where do I even begin with this one? I dread talking about this manga. It’s a guilty pleasure of mine, emphasis on guilty. I... don’t know if I can do this, but I’ll try.

Before I start, I’ll say this much, I like the premise. It’s basically a more Japanese version of Soul Eater. Special beings called, well, Tsugumomo, are objects that gain sentience after generations upon generations of use. Once sentient, they can take a human form and weaponize their original form so that exorcist can use them as tools and weapons to battle against evil spirits and demons. So yeah, basically a mix of Soul Eater and Twin Star Exorcist, other manga I happen to enjoy reading. And being the giant weeb I am, anything with a Japanese aesthetic to it is gonna’ get my interest. It’s how I got into Nioh, it’s how I got into Samurai Warriors and the Warriors series, so it appealed to me on a surface level. So when the anime came out, I watched the first episode and... immediately dropped the show there. The first minute had me clicking away to something else since it opened on a boob gag with middle school aged characters. However, episode 3 had a really good fight scene in it, I saw some gifs of it, and being a sap for a good fight scene, I gave it another shot. Episode 2 wasn’t that bad, episode 3 wasn’t either, but... I believe it was episode 5 that had me drop the anime again. I’m not against middle school aged characters discussing sexual topics, but... well, I can’t stand the first omnibus volume of Negima! for a reason. However, much like Negima! I decided to see if the manga was just as bad. After all, if The Sacred Blacksmith had talk me anything, it was that anime spin offs tend to play up the fanservice for the sake of making a quick buck. So i went to the manga to see if that was the case.

It was the exact opposite. The anime turned down the fanservice by quite a degree.

However... despite that, I’m still interested in the story. I’m going to spoil a bit from her, so be warned.

Much like with Negima! I skipped quite a few chapters, starting at around chapter 72, when they went into Kanaka, the main character’s mother, and Kiriha’s, Kazuya’s former Tsugumomo, past and relationship. I didn’t want to bother reading chapters of fanservice to get to what was interesting, so I skips around until I found something worth reading, and boy was this part worth reading. I found Kanaka to be real interesting character. It an interesting take on the whole “Too Strong to be Approached” angle. Or I really liked how she was emotionless until she was able to find a good opponent to fight and then essential became a more cheerful version of Blazblue’s Azrael, her strength being seen as something to be feared to the point of the Exorcist organization literally feeding her demons and evil spirits from their SSS-rank list just to make sure she wouldn’t try to take them out due to boredom. I liked how she trained her kids solely so they could give her a good fight when they mature. Her personality and how she grew in those chapters really hooked me to her character.

To read those chapters, get attached to those characters, only to realize both Kanaka and Kiriha were dead and that Kanaka’s son had to kill his own mother because of a mistake he made when he was younger... I was shocked by how invested I was already.

Also, there’s a tournament arc going on as of chapter 100, and learning about the exorcist academy and how they have different political beliefs in how Tsugumomo should be treated interests me as well, so there’s that.

With Tsugumomo I feel like it’s a Shounen manga trying to be a Seinen one by adding a bunch of nudity and sex scenes. Trust me, there are enough bare breast and sex scenes to be a hentai in this. And this very much much hits a nerve when it comes to my limits on fanservice. Dear god, the lewdness of this manga. I swear every chapter someone’s getting naked for some asinine reason or another. The sheer amount of underage nudity and sexual content is just enough to make me [RETRACTED]. Seriously, this the manga equivalent of Shadow the Hedgehog and the Dante’s Inferno video game. The mature themes in this manga detract more than add to the story... Also, Kazuya’s character design makes me want to stab my eyes out, but that’s a story for another day.

Again, I didn’t read anything else before that, so if anything I think Kazuya’s abilities are a little OP since what was keeping him from his full potential was goddamn amnesia of all things, but... I’ll let it slide since I don’t have the full context. Much like Wanna’ be the Strongest in the World and Ikkitousen, I wouldn’t recommend this manga to anyone, I can’t do it with a clear conscience, but this is certainly a guilty pleasure of mine... and boy do I feel guilty for liking it.

And lastly, to get the taste of Tsugumomo out my mouth, we have a good manga, The Scared Blacksmith. I’m gonna’ be brief with this one because talking about Tsugumomo drained me a tad, but...

I. Love. This. Manga.

I just finished it last week and I’m so glad I bought. I’m actually shocked this is a Seinen. Save for a bit of fanservice in a first few volumes and... the stuff that happened in volume 6, this manga’s actually clean for the most part. It’s mostly about the Knight Cecily Campbell and her life in the Independent Trade City... no, that’ really the city’s name. Okay, quick tangent, but what’s with these fantasy Seinen manga and their borderline parody location names? I know the names just serve a means to an end in the grand scheme of things, but... really?

Anyway, Cecily Campbell is a female knight joined the knight guard since she’s the only daughter of a noble family of knights, and... the story takes off from there. Again, Tsugumomo drained me a tad, but trust me when I say this manga is good. It’s got action, romance, a decent female character. I said this before in some of my other Ramblings, but Cecily is one of my favorite female characters ever. The anime didn’t do her justice... but anyway, this is a good manga overall. It fully out in the West so I recommend you all buy it when you can.

And so... on a lackluster note, I ended my rambling about Seinen manga. I’ll do The Sacred Blacksmith justice a later day. I’m beat now, so I’m gonna’ just... read some manga, maybe draw a bit... feel free to message me if you guys have question... I’m just... gonna’ be here. Phew, I’m tired now...

#murcielago #ubel blatt #goblin slayer #tsugumomo #the sacred blacksmith #your dictator is speaking

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todokori-kun · 7 years

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For

the queen, I’ll try my best (seriously tho why are you so nice? Like ???? how ??? Queen Luna is so freaking amazing)

AND NO IT’S REALLY NOT YOUR FAULT ADS:DLFJK omg

That really does sound fun! (lowkey jealous lol) hope you have a fantastic time!

Thanks! And, well, I was thinking of a very neutral blue-grey color scheme because it’s Ilumi, but then that also feels weird because of his green outfit? (like sure he has different oufits too but that weird green needle suit is the most well-known. Like, it’s the thing cosplayers always wear, the one he’s drawn wearing in most of the fanart…)

Illumi has his eyes on you

(this is probably true)

Do you think Kikyo and Silva (Mr. and Mrs. Zoldyck) ever bothered to teach that to him? They must have encouraged it. From a clip I watched recently it seems that Silva knew about the needle Illumi put in Killua’s head and was pretty much cool with it(…)

He’d drag Armin along with him. If Armin’s genius somehow wasn’t enough to put him into the top ten, Illumi’s really not above using Dead Eyes Intimidation + Zoldyck connections to make sure he’d get there…and then the needle would make sure Armin would never, ever dream of joining the Survey Corps or the Garrison.

That’s extremely accurate XD

Also, look at this cut exchange from Cabinet Battle 2:

Jefferson: Can you do me a favor?

Hamilton: Depends. I can try.

J: Can you tell Angelica Schuyler I said hi?

H: She’s never mentioned you.

J: She’s not the type who shares. But since you’re so interested in foreign affairs…

(Ouch.)

Yes, Eliza’s awesome ;-;

Well, the word got around, they said, ‘This kid is insane, man!’

Took up a collection just to send him to the mainland

‘Get your education, don’t forget from whence you came and

The world’s gonna know your name.

What’s your name, man?’

Kuroiwa is very much dead. Wonder how Takeomi’s gonna feel about this…first Yoriko, then his dad…;-;

Awww, at least you have tumblr friends? *hugs* and tbh I don’t have any fellow manga/anime fan friends over here either (though maybe that’s just because I don’t have any friends here at all lol)

Please join me in HxH hell. Please. I- I need someone to sob with me because I’m only like seven or eight volumes in and I just met Chrollo and omg please I have literally 0 friends in the HxH fandom (jk jk, just the fact that you listen to me rant out my favs is enough for me. TYSM for being such a queen <3)

And actually, it’s nowhere near as bad as TG or AoT! Like, it has emotional moments, but there aren’t that many character deaths? Like, sure, people die, some favs die, but so far it’s still reasonable and nobody seems to be rage-quitting the manga because of pointless angst.

Chrollo always looks good but yeah, that last style does uit him really well :)

Ging is horrible, but like you said, at least he tries and acknowledges that he’s a bad parent. In his own way. I mean, the whole journey to find him was something he designed himself to help Gon grow as a hunter (though that also connects to Ging’s slightly problematic habit of treating Gon more like a hunter to train than a child to raise…)

Excuse me Queen Luna do not compare yourself to this trashcan. He doesn’t deserve it.

I haven’t even met Pouf in the manga yet and I kinda love him.

ALL THE HAM/ELIZA FEELS.

I’m sad to say I did not cry at all during Hughes’ death/funeral. I felt a lot of pain but the tears just didn’t come OTL

I’m glad you appreciated the puns ;) (Seriously though seeing the blog back is so exciting <333)

Also: I will now send you some pics of Chrollo’s troupe members (AKA his loyal fellow criminals he’s so proud of them all), and of Ging’s student (Gon’s father figure), if that’s ok?

And I might gift you a surprise fic soon…I promise that it won’t be too angsty. Really. I would never lie to the queen :D

Last thing- is it ok if I rant more about OCs sometime? Mainly about the Love Interests for that Otome Game I mentioned a while ago (the thing I was trying to write a script for)…I’d just like some opinions on the LIs *Lenny Face*

Hi i’m back and ready to die.

I hate school, have I ever mentioned that?

Anyway, lately I’ve been losing my motivation for everything basically and that includes coming onto Tumblr, and I was wondering, do you have any app that has an instant messaging system? This is nothing against you personally, but my replies will be really slow, since I don’t even turn my computer on much these days… In fact, I feel incredibly guilty that I take so long to answer, I just don’t have the motivation…

On a happier note, I finally watched Civil War! And I ship Stony. My heart is not okay.

Um what else happened… Norway is absolutely beautiful? It’s a place where fairytales would take place, especially the fjords. And I also saw a ton of Thor statues lol

I’d scream if Illumi had his eyes on me. If I’d have the time to before dying that is.

While we’re on HxH, that picture of Hisoka you sent me is just mmmmmm nice abs He looks less trashy with his hair down.

well fuck kuroiwa is dead…

oh god trust me id be a shitty parent. a very very shitty parent. there’s a reason why i don’t want kids and the pain of giving birth is only a small part of it. not to mention i don’t have the patience to deal with a small human who can only shit or cry.

gah i know there was something else i wanted to tell you but forgot hnnnngh

uh well, ive returned to tg, so much about quitting. as long as my sweet sunshine is present, I’ll come back at any time. i just sincerely hope it is actually him and not a fake.

oh yeah, ive started rereading soul eater! it’s a good manga, you just have to get past the first 2-3 volumes for it to get good. the initial parts are pure ecchi.

i might spam the blog w some pictures of norway later ^^;;

sorry for the short&all over the place response, I’m just so so tired, even tho it’s only been one week of school. I blame my period.

Anyway, the next one will be longer, I swear! I hope you’re not too mad…

[edit:] I REMEMBERED WHAT I WANTED TO SAY

I SAW BOOK OF ATLANTIC. LIZZY. MY BABY. SHE FINALLY GOT HER SCENE IT WAS BEAUTIFUL ALSO UNDERTAKER. DAAAAAAAAMN

oh and i’ve gotten around to watching Death Note and it casually broke my heart. good to know, good to know.

#evans #submission

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ilovethings-somuch · 7 years

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Private Lessons (2/10)

Dad!Chris Evans/first person OFC (Elaina)

A/N: Hello friends! This was supposed to be posted earlier but I really like procrastinating 🤷 sorry!! So this is like fluff, I guess. No warnings other than swearing (I’m sorry I can’t help it)

Synopsis: Elaina is teaching swimming lessons to a little boy named Lukas when she discovers that he is the son of Chris Evans. When Chris approaches Elaina to do private lessons with Lukas at the Evans’ home will things heat up? Will Elaina turn into a homewrecker that she never wanted to be?

I spent (too much) of my weekend arguing with myself about how to back out of my arrangement with Chris. It went something like this:

It wouldn’t be that hard to back out. I could just tell him that my boss didn’t want me teaching private lessons outside of our facility. But that’s not true, and lord knows I can’t lie to save my soul. There’s no real reason I can come up with for why I can’t teach Lukas privately. I mean, other than the whole, Chris FUCKING Evans thing. But it’ll be fine. You can be cool, Elaina, just remember deep breaths, he’s just a normal person. You’re doing this for Lukas, not Chris. Hell for all I know Chris won’t even be there when I’m teaching, Lukas probably has a nanny. Or, oh god, what if Chris’ wife is there. Does anyone even know who she is? *googles for 3 hours* Why the fuck is google not helping? Okay, tumblr time, the fandom HAS to know right? *searches tumblr for 5 hours (I may have gotten sidetracked)* WHY DOES NOBODY KNOW WHO SHE IS?! Wait. Maybe she’s not in the picture, oh god, I hope she’s still alive.

All in all, the weekend went by too quickly and before I knew it, it was Tuesday and time for swimming lessons. Class went smoothly, I got everyone to go underwater again and there were 0 tears. Eva and Liam were a piece of cake, and when Lukas got scared all I had to do was remind him how proud his dad was going to be when he went under again. Worked like a charm; plus, waving at Chris with Lukas may have given me an excuse to look at Chris during the lesson.

Afterwards, Eva’s mom wanted to talk to me so I avoided an awkward moment with Chris then, and I was somehow able to get my belongings and leave before he had gotten Lukas changed so I avoided him again. I have mixed feelings about whether or not I’m happy about that. I mean, it was the goal; but maybe a small part of me wanted him to talk to me.

Thursday is the last day of the session, which means it’s a fun day. For the older kids that means playing Sharks and Minnows and going off the diving board. For the little kids, it means spending the class playing with water toys and jumping off the side. Near the end I take my kids over to the deep end to try jumping off the diving board. They all get a life jacket and I swim near the end of the board to catch them when they jump in. I tell them they all have to jump once, and if they want to they can go twice. Liam is very excited, he even tells me not to catch him. Eva wants me to catch her, but other than that she doesn’t hesitate. Lukas, on the other hand, needs a little help. He is completely against jumping, I even try to coax him by giving him a noodle for “extra help floating” but he doesn’t budge.

“Lukas, you gotta try once. If you don’t like it then you never have to go again, but I want you to try one time”

“I don’t wanna” he whines once again, his eyes brimming with tears. I got him to walk to the end of the board and talked to him from the water. I give Kenna, the lifeguard on duty, a signal that he’s going to need help.

“How about if the lifeguard helps you bud” at this point Kenna is already on the board behind Lukas and is about to pick him up to set him into my waiting arms. The tears overflow as she sets him in the water, but as soon as he realizes that he’s in my arms they stop. “Good job Lukas! Look at that, you didn’t even go underwater! I bet your daddy is going to be really impressed”

“I did it! I went off the jumping board!”

“You did! You did so good” I assure him while swimming to the side with him. “Do you think you want to try again all by yourself?” His face drops with my suggestion so I back track quickly. “You don’t have to bud, only if you want. Or you can stay here by the wall okay?”

“I wanna stay here”

“Okay, just keep your hands on the wall while I help Liam and Eva”

Liam and Eva both jump again before class is over. When they get their towels on I give each of them their report card and a piece of candy before walking them over to their parents. I’m not exactly sure how, but somehow I was left alone with Lukas and Chris again.

“Good job today buddy!”

“Did you see me go on the jumping board?”

“Of course I did! You were so brave”

“That’s what Miss Lainie told me too” Lukas tells him with a proud smile.

“Well Miss Lainie is a very smart lady” Chris says, looking at me with a smirk. I can’t help but blush at hearing him use my nickname.

“Well it’s always good to know who the bravest little boys are” I tease back, tickling Lukas’ sides.

“So, uh, tomorrow at 9:30 right?”

“Yeah, you still have to send me the address” I remind him.

“Oh shit, thanks for reminding me!” He immediately pulls out his phone and starts typing.

“Daddy!” Lukas whines while hitting Chris’ shoulder. “No bad words”

“I’m sorry buddy, you’re right. No bad words” he repeats before looking at me with a smirk. Goddamn that smile is going to be the death of me. It’s quiet for a few moments and I’m about to make my exit when Chris finishes typing and looks back up at me. “I just sent it to you”

“Okay, thanks. I’ll, um, see you tomorrow then”

“See you then” I give him a small wave before retreating into the office to grab my stuff. All my coworkers are already in there and someone is taking a shower in the room where my keys are, so it looks like I’ll be stuck here for a little longer. I spend the time looking through my phone, making sure to save the address Chris sent me, and talking to my coworkers. Thankfully no one asked me about what took me so long.

When I get home it’s already 7 and my plan to go for a run goes out the window. Instead take a shower before I pull out my laptop and fool around on the internet while eating my dinner. I end up facetiming with my best friend from back home before going to bed, simply so that I can express my excitement about befriending (yeah, that’s what we’re going to call it) Chris with someone who hasn’t actually met him. She’s equally if not more excited than I am, which makes me feel slightly more at ease in the sense that at least I’m normal, but also more anxious because I don’t want to mess it up.

My body finally allows me to fall asleep sometime around midnight, leaving me around 7 hours of sleep. My alarm going off is a cruel awakening, but at least it’s sunny outside. I finally roll out of bed around 7:45, only to discover that my hair is an absolute mess and going to take awhile to tame. I want to make a good impression on Chris. Even though we’ve already met, he’s never really seen me..dry. I want to prove that I can clean up nicely, even if I’m not exactly sure why I feel the need to prove that. Dammit, Elaina it’s not a date!

I end up having to straighten my hair to get all the kinks out, which takes close to half an hour. A half an hour that I didn’t plan for. Thankfully I had a mental idea of what to wear and it didn’t end up looking awful when I put it on. Makeup was another issue. Listen, when you’re working in a wet environment, makeup isn’t something that happens often. Now, I know what you’re probably thinking, “do you ever go out Elaina?” the answer to that is, not as much as I should. And I used to, but when I decided to take a break from trying to act the people I had befriended when I first moved here kind of ditched me. It was probably for the best, that lifestyle wasn’t really me.

I finally get my makeup to not look like a 5-year old did it and make it out of my apartment around 9:10. Which is 10 minutes later than I planned on leaving. The coffee shop is supposedly only 15 minutes away, but you never know when it comes to California traffic. Today proves to be no different, thankfully I make it to the shop only 2 minutes late; and let me tell you, my heart is pounding. I can’t tell you the last time I went on a date. Wait, fuck, Elaina it’s not a damn date! Either way, I can’t tell you the last time I met with someone at a coffee shop. Do I find him and sit down first? Do I order? Who knows! But I thank the lucky stars above when I see Chris walking towards the shop coming from the opposite direction as me. He seems to spot me at the same time I see him and give me a big grin. He can wear whatever glasses and hat he wants, there’s no way I wouldn’t recognize that smile. We reach the door at about the same time and he holds it open for me to enter first. I stand just inside, waiting for him to make a move towards a table or to a line. He heads towards the line and I follow slightly behind.

“Hi, the regular?” the barista asks him when it’s his turn.

“Yeah and whatever she’s having” he sounds so casual about it that I think my heart stops.

“No, Chris you don’t have to pay for me”

“It’s just a coffee, relax” he chuckles.

“Um okay, I’ll just have whatever he’s getting” The barista gives me a small nod before moving to make the drinks. I follow Chris to a table while we wait for our drinks.

“So, where’s Lukas?” I ask, not that I expected him to be here, but it’s weird being around Chris without Lukas.

“He’s at home, with the nanny for a couple hours while I take care of a few things”

I nod, thankful for our drinks arriving to give me something to do. Nanny means his wife must be busy, or not around? God Elaina you’re insufferable, give it a rest.

“He gets really upset when I have to leave, it’s going to be hard when school starts and I have to leave him everyday”

“Yeah, I bet. How does that work with you filming and such?”

“Um, I don’t know yet” he chuckles. “I’m still trying to figure it out. I really want him to go to a normal school. I mean, maybe a private school but definity one where he just goes 8 to 3 like a normal kid and gets to hang out with friends. As much as I would love to just have him home schooled so that he can go with me everywhere, I can’t take away his childhood like that”

“I get what you mean. It would be a pretty incredible childhood to grow up on movie sets though” I suggest with a smile. “But I get it, you want him to be a normal kid, that makes sense”

“Right, he’s had a pretty normal childhood so far. I try to get him outside as much as I can and with kids his age”

“Does he go to daycare?”

“No, I’m usually home with him or I have a really great nanny who comes over when I have things to do. We have regular play dates with some neighborhood families regularly though and he always has fun.”

“Yeah, he’s really sociable! The first day of lessons he was really shy, but by the second class he was telling me all about what he did that day and he was always trying to make games with the other kids”

“He loves to make up games” he says fondly.

“He’s a really smart kid. When ever I was explaining something new it was like I could see the gears turning in his head while he tried to figure it out. Maybe smart to a fault, he tends overthinks things and get scared”

“He’s definitely like his father” Chris mumbles before giving me a smirk.

“Maybe so, but clearly you’ve faced fears and he has too. So it’s alright, it’s definitely not a bad thing for him to be like you”

“Thank you, Elaina, that means a lot” he touches my hand while he’s talking, giving it a light squeeze before moving his hand back to his coffee. I can feel my face heating up and I’m not sure my makeup is covering it up. I try to change the subject casually, but my voice sounds flustered.

“So, um, do you have an idea of what days and times work for you? I’m usually open Monday, Wednesday, Friday after 3 and Tuesday, Thursday after 6 and then totally free on weekends”

“Well my schedule is not that consistent. I can do Monday, Wednesday, Friday at say, 4 this week. But they the week after I’m only around on the weekend, and then the week after I’ll be home Tuesday and Thursday”

“Okay, well as long as the times work with what I wrote here” I pause, pointing to the note I wrote, “I can do whatever. I’ll just let my boss know that she can’t schedule me outside of these times so I’ll be free”

“Really? That would be amazing”

“Yeah, of course. So are you thinking half hour, hour?”

“Whatever you think is best”

“Well if I can keep up his progress I think we could get a lot done in an hour. But it also depends on the setup of your pool. I won’t know everything I can do until I see that, but I think an hour would be the best”

“That’s fine with me. Um so how much do you charge?”

“Fifteen dollars per lesson. But you don’t have to pay me like everyday, we can do it weekly or whatever works for you”

“Fifteen dollars? That’s it?”

“Yes? I wouldn’t say that’s cheap..” I trail off, unsure.

“In hollywood, that’s cheap” he assures me.

“Well you can feel free to pay me more, but that’s my baseline” I say with a chuckle. He doesn’t give me an actual answer, just laughs heavily. The conversation turns to a lighter topic and keeps flowing with a few more casual touches. This is, until Chris notices the time and realizes that he has to go.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize it was so late. I told the nanny I would be back by now and I haven’t even made my other stops yet” he tells me quickly, while picking up his notes and empty coffee cup.

“No, it’s totally fine. I’m sorry for keeping you” I stand along with him and follow him towards the exit.

“I’ll see you Monday at 4 then? I’ll text you my address”

“Yep, don’t forget” I tease.

“You might need to remind me” he says honestly.

“I’ll remind you tonight” I assure him

“Great! I’ll see you Monday” he calls while walking backwards away from me.

“Bye, Chris”

When I get in my car I take a few moments to just sit and process everything. Why did that feel so much like a date? It wasn’t supposed to take that long but somehow it’s already 1 o’clock in the afternoon. When I finally get my bearing I make my home, stopping first at the grocery store to restock my kitchen. I decide to stop at a sandwich shop on the way home, knowing I won’t feel like making dinner after putting all my groceries away.

I’m finally getting settled into my couch when my phone chimes from my purse in the kitchen. I groan slightly before getting up to retrieve it.

Chris: I think someone forgot to remind me of something 🤔 *address attached*

Me: wow look who remembered something all on their own! Someone’s growing up☺️

Chris: Was that sass I detected from you, Elaina? I’m appalled, maybe I don’t want Lukas spending time with you

Me: Trust me, that boy had enough sass before I met him. (I think he gets it from his father)

Chris: Take that back now!

Me: can’t make me 🤷

Chris: hahaha yeah okay.

Chris: I had a really nice time with you today

Me: I had a nice time too, sorry for making you late. Hopefully you didn’t get in too much trouble.

Chris: No worries! Thankfully the nanny is very understanding.

Chris: I gotta go make dinner for Lukas, I’ll talk to you soon!

Me: Bye Chris, say hi to Lukas for me!

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