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bacchuschucklefuck · 2 months

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Just found your class swap au and I have absolutely fallen in love! I'd love to hear basically everything about it! Especially like what subclasses they might be!

Also the art is so so so good!!! They're all so expressive!!! Ahhhhh!!! I'm just here screaming as I look at they over and over again!!!

thank you I'm glad ur enjoying ur time here! we don't got everything in place yet (bc that requires like, writing lol) but I do have some ideas of subclasses if that's what ur looking for here. riz I'm thinking college of whispers -> college of lore, gorgug's domain of peace -> domain of twilight, fabian I think starts out as phantom rogue and then swashbuckling rogue + some levels in ranger? kristen I think starts out with wild magic idk if she'd move away from that. maybe lunar sorcery? fig is currently either path of the giant or totem warrior but I imagine she will also pick up at least two more classes (paladin definitely one of them which lol. lmao). adaine I'm thinking battlesmith -> armorer + some levels in fighter. that's about it for now

#not art #fh class quangle #of course this is all thought of in the context of I'm not actually playing dnd here lol. I'm in my room doing this on my own #so I'm in control of everything so I can do what I want forever just with the language of dnd so to say #so straight up I do not prioritize playability in this stuff. it will be playable to me bc Im the god of this domain <3 #tho some of this is def very fun to think abt in actual play terms lol. like I think bard!riz is fun in the same way like gerard is fun #specifically when it comes to bardic inspiration. can't roll? give dice to ur friends instead #I enjoy imagining how riz would flavour that. he's a shrewd analyst as much as he's a weaver of narratives it would be like him reminding #his friends of the plan and going like we can do this! I have trust in us! like he's at the picket line with a megaphone lol #phantom rogue for fabian is actually mostly about the ghost coding lmao. but I do think the seacastor mansion is 100% haunted #all of this is modular and changeable tho! I'm never hard-handing any of this even when something's drawn or written down lol #we have fun and we enjoy and that's what it's about. thank u for ur time

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b4kuch1n · 9 months

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hi! birthday. which means it's finally time t

yo what the itch store is fixed up now

damn what? I don't know where this came from. look all the comics I put on g*mr**d a year ago are back here again with all the formatting and typesetting by @fireflysummers as well as the exclusive bonus art wtf who did this. my werewolf comic on here too what the hells!! that one also got re-toned for printing if u want to AND an exclusive cover spread !!! what the fuck!!!!! come see for urself I can't make this shit up

#bakuspecial #comic #itch.io #bakugoods #<- made up a tag for when I sell things that aren't commissions just now #for folks who still remember me talking abt a physical run of these comics: I'm so sorry this year and the last have been brutal #and I live in a well and suffer a curse of international mails never going well. so the logistics became Very complicated #I still think abt it tho! I've prepped up all the assets just bc I thought abt it so much... we picked out a gift print for the orders #And a bonus print for the pack #but I couldn't gather my brain enough to make it happen. yet #it takes a bit of overhead so I gotta build that up. which is. right now talk for after the shit that just happened to me got smoothed out #but I do want it to happen. I've been sitting on this exclusive custom print for like two years now #I really love that drawing its so cute. I still hold that project close to my heart #anyways uhh itch store! happy birthday to me!#last year this time was so rough I didn't even Want to think about my birthday lol #strangely enough with this small little fragmentation grenade we just got I became more motivated to fuck around on my bday lmao #probably out of spite. hammer philosophy #my parents love making a whole thing out of me and the brother's bdays lol so dinner's gonna be something #but for now I can still chill. and prep up stuff. and do my thang #if u look thru the itch store and get something from there thank u so much! I hope the comics treat u well #and now. I make hot drink. have a good day lads! do a little jig for us let's go

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seventh-district · 4 months

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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill #well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst #like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made #bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you #but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings #and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste #there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc #so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything #if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is #which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose #anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages #or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing #i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know #it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess #as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence #the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education #i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype #sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen #there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions #like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity #like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem #but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.

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fluxweeed · 4 months

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hey. hope this message doesn't bother you. I love you. I love your work. you are one of my favorite fic authors, I am absolutely obsessed with everything you write. reread everything ten times over, drarry or not, fluffy or angsty - even when it absolutely shatters my heart (e.g. for lack of wanting, SUCH a great fic btw i'm so obsessed with it). the four doors? life changing. two to lie and one to listen? engraved into my brain for eternity. what's mine is yours? what a ride holy shit, im VERY normal about it. wrapped? my comfort read. and so it goes.

if I could aggressively smother you with kudos and love I WOULD!!!

awhile ago you said that there's no such thing as "big deals" in fandom and I 100% agree but at the same time you are a big deal TO ME!!! not in the sense of any kind of hierarchy but purely based on the fact that I think you are such a cool person and your writing is amazing and poignant and your presence in fandom makes it so much better. it's been a pleasure following you here on tumblr and just reading your tags and posts.

idk I just think you rule. that's it. thank you for hanging with us. MWAH 💛

ahhhh anon sorry for leaving this message sitting in my inbox for a couple of days but !! i have zero idea how to react to this!! you're so kind!! thank you!! please discard any and all inclinations u have that i am a cool person bc i can assure you i am NOT!!

#tumblr tag essay time? tumblr tag essay time #why can't i do this in the main body of a post u ask? pure obnoxiousness ig idk #scarier when it's not greyed out and in a little whisper innit #1) anon i love and appreciate you + your kind words so so much but i rly cannot stress enough that literally nobody here is a big deal 😭#like i know u don't mean it in That Way but even so!!!#this is a hill i could write another 1k words about before i die on it again but i will spare u 😅#2) ur also v v kind to say the thing abt my presence in fandom #but unfortunately i'm coming to terms with the fact that my presence in fandom is v much on the sidelines #a non-presence #i'm embracing my role as the crotchety old hag who does not attend the functions #i have a hut in the woods and u can find me there (here in tumblr tags) muttering to myself #occasionally i'll wander into the town square (ao3) and present an unnerving thing i made from mud and twigs (a fic) and then i'll fuck off #that's about all i can handle in terms of group settings i think 😅#but the door to my hut (my DMs) is always open if u want to stop by!#3) i can't even begin to acknowledge all the nice things u said about my fics kjhsdf you are truly too generous 😭#let me smother YOU with love!!! cmere!!!#4) this is the second nice anon message i've had in the last couple weeks which is !!!!#anon(s) i'm kissing you wherever u consent to be kissed!!!#but ofc now i'm paranoid ppl will think i'm sending these to myself skdljf #can't stress enough how open my DMs are on here/twt/discord if ever u wanna chat in a way that i don't have to post publicly to reply to 😅#5) i'm soooo sorry about these tags #could have just said “thanks!” couldn't i #please put me right in the bin #anyway sorry again thank you again ilu very much ❤️

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3416 · 10 months

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The veins on Mitch’s arm my gawd. Respectfully, obviously.

seriously. absolutely. i made a 30 second video into a whole hour experience watching each frame. have some more

#easks #every time i rmr it exists i cry #they rlly... got some guys to come do some videography of their lil boys trip #their lil tennis gathering ... in austons home state....#its so special wtf.#also they all look fine as fuck but. mitch in the short shorts... HIS ARMSSS #that shot of austons back. the lil pony ..... his arms..#i thirst after them both and i think everyone who is judgy abt being into mitch is boring lol #my taste has a wide range thank u very much and hockey fulfills so much of it

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boxwinebaddie · 5 months

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nina do you ever plan on posting the remainder of pep?

this is nonsensical but this is how i feel ig

#i'll edit this later idk i just wanted to get this out #but idk pep like triggers the shit out of me if im real #i loved peppermint but i got very sick writing it #i was not treated kindly all the time it was v stressful #the formatting is hideous #i want to private it but i wont #im also an adult lady i dont want to write about my high school style anymore like i just really dont #like its not totally finished its mostly just dialogue and id have to fill in the gaps and think a lot idk #thinking about peppermint gives me hives #im sorry i know we loved that fanfic #and ill think about just spoiling it in one go at some point MAYBE but i just want to move on #like i seriously just want to be free of peppermint like thank you for getting me here but i have so much more i wanna do #theres so much au style i wanna flesh out ( which tbh my tfbw s+k are the most similar to pep style just Super and Villian )#new stuff i want to explore i just...i can talk about pep every once and a while but i dont really like doing it all the time #its just very overwhelming for me and i really have just moved past it so idk its ok if u dont want to stay for #my rm stuff or my other ncu stuff like if u are only here for peppermint i will not be hurt if u dont wanna stay #but im not really in the headspace to talk about it and dont really want to rip that wound open anymore im trying to heal #im glad that that fanfic brought me all of you #you were the best part of writing peppermint #thank you and i'm sorry #edit: oof u can tell where i started to have a panic attack #but feel free to ask me about tkak or the tfbw style #i can link you the references and the pinterest boards are fire i promise i am cooking a lot i feel a lot abt those

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studiousbotanist · 1 year

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#does a bear blog in the woods #just phantom period stuff fuckingbw my brain chem i think is whats going on this week !#i knew the new tfb would rip emotions outta me but im messed uppppp .#ive been single the longest ive been in a Long Time now ...#theres good and bad . theres so much cooking in my head from these few months #dealint with grief . bad job . good job now #and still working on getting my life and health togethwr #and im really trying to craft and make shit again . its So necessary for your soul and ive been neglecting #tabletop has helped so much and roleplay will too qhen i get into it #in the mean time though . im LONELY !! im in a mood where being by myself is Torrrtureeee . butnive also been overstimmed !#i was very somber earlier cuz i jusf did Not have rhe energy to be up and do shit ..wjich is why i called out #but was just thinking the thing i miss most abt a relationship is always having some1 to hang out w or be around #especially physical side cause i am very physically affectionate !!! and tryin to get back to it .#its been hard cus of well ...trauma and also the pandemic . overthinking . itd help if i cried i think #i coulsve put this all ina read more ..too late now LOL !#i just want to word vomit . been stuck in a bad nasty rude to myself feedback loop abt NOT venting and NEEDING to reach out directly #but good gd its difficult when we are All exhausted . and when i judt Need the vocal speak vs typing #if u read all this mess thank you LOL . ill be okay . ive got to let myself feel this

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bylertruther · 1 year

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sorry for being that guy but absolving a character of any and all flaws or accountability and ignoring the parts of canon that are proof that this character is (thankfully) complex and human aka capable of making mistakes and doing good and being smart in some ways and dumb in others and so on and so forth is just like. sorry but i always imagined that to be the most boring way to enjoy a character and yet.........................

#personally i love when characters are intelligent and idiotic and mean and kind and i like when something isn't their fault and when #sometimes it is very much their fault and so on and so forth blah blah. just like how ppl are in real life.#live and let live i don't care what anyone does unless it's hurting people and this isn't but in my eyes ......#it's like i've just watched someone be handed a beautiful delicious chili cheese dog and they go ''thank you'' but then proceed to #scrape off all of the chili cheese and wipe the wiener down with a napkin to get all the remaining seasoning off and then switch out #the bun to a dry one. like girl what's the point of getting a chili cheese dog if you're jus gonna do all tht..... jus get a hot dog.. 🤨#i think my fandom life would be so much easier if i enjoyed characters like dustin. or enjoyed media tht was 100% lighthearted all #the time with no fucked up characters in it. but alas.... i am forever fascinated by the cunty freakazoids.... 😔#the dichotomy tht exists within certain characters is The Point. you'd think tht ppl would be happy tht characters aren't one dimensional #but apparently that's what many someones actually prefer lol #i stay scrolling through the tags just scratching my head looking like my icon like girl............. whatter u talkin about....#i swear it rly makes me wanna jus go through whatever show it is this time and reblog their post with screenshots of all the scenes tht #contradict their bold statement #but im not THAT annoying so i jus sit and stew in silence.......... well. semi silence bc here i am talking abt it but—

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doctormage · 1 year

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I’m having a “wants to post ten billion things” day for some fucking reason

#having many thoughts abt my new ttrpg character!!! she’s very annoying I love her #I need to text my friend to make sure I’m not making her too unbalanced #(bc I ALWAYS make characters too balanced. like so evenly distributed they’re useless)#also maintenance had to come today and they never told us what time they were coming so I was like. ok I’m not gonna waste my whole day #waiting on yall. naturally they came within abt 2 minutes of me getting in the shower #but I can’t be too mad bc I forced them to listen to fob’s latest album 🖤#since I was playing it while showering and they needed to get in the attic which is accessed right beside the bathroom 🖤#also. I just made lunch and I accidentally diced up the whole avocado. so I had to eat it all so it didn’t get mushy and gross #and it was too much but it was very delicious so idc if I feel like violet beauregard. yummy avocado #outweighs whatever discomfort I may be experiencing due to eating. the whole fucking yummy avocado #ok I think that’s it. for now anyway 😌#bye #wait edit as I was typing all this my coworker sent me a pic of her baby who is very cute #now I’m done for real. thank u

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shawcl · 9 months

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#tw: dec 18th ramblings (but not that negative rly)#u know when i'm not thinking abt how goddamn awful that time was i think of how much of a support a fandom rly can be #like i'm not exaggerating when i say that it's been one of the worst times of my life especially when no one in real life understood #but the support u found within the fandom was IMMENSE #and i remember how klee did this thing where everyone sent in their fondest memories of him #and this shawol's therapist mum making a facebook support group for everyone who needs it #and also even the linkin park fandom reaching out to us bc they went through the same thing just months before #oh and that one shawol making their own podcast to offer comfort… i think it was shawols blue night radio?#it's just those glimpses of humanity but in the best way #and maybe that’s also why i'm feeling more comfortable with the shawol side of tumblr it's just that stuff like this knits together u know #anyway i'm very thankful for the lot of u and i hope you're doing well #many familiar faces (or urls lol) have since then left tumblr and i'm sending warm energy to u all #don’t ask me where this comes from i'm just in my own head too much these days and also i miss him

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bloodhailmp3 · 1 year

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the way the passing of time and circumstances changing can simultaneously feel deeply painful and utterly healing

#mp #said goodbye to my ex in person for the last time before they move to vietnam for a very long time #and thanked them for everything #and they told me how much they love me and how grateful they are that we were together #like not in a 'i want u back' or manipulative kinda way just in a nice acknowledgment of the past way #cos after all i wouldnt have known all these ppl in my life including my current partner if we had never been together #and im thinking abt how this time last year i felt so hurt by the breakup i could barely comprehend feeling happy again #and now im just happy for them and the thought of not seeing them for a long time is something i am calm and comfortable with #this weekend will be the anniversary of me meeting my current partner which wouldnt have happened if i hadnt been so miserable i turned up #to the bar my ex was working purely bc i couldnt bear to be on my own #and my current partner was also working the bar and the rest is history #anyway #yeah. weird to think how different this october is to last years #when i was doing coke almost every night bc it felt like the only way i could distract myself from being utterly miserable #it feels good to be moving forward and yet so painful to think about how the past can become so far away so quickly

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ayyponine · 1 year

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girl help im going back n forth on whether or not i should send an email to thank the beautiful man fr letting me join the drawing session last week (more info on that entire situation here and here) and letting him know i probably wont be back but appreciate having had the experience either way. great or horrible idea leave a comment or DM to lmk.

#anyway more nuance on the whole situation is this. i am very single and this guy keeps being on my mind but i do not have any read on him #the last contact we had was me makin an ass of myself by going like hehe yeah this was nice everyone was nice ok yall have a nice evenin bye #while my heart was like visibly pounding out of my chest and u could probably see on my face i was internally thinking girl shut UP!!! LEAVE #so im like ok either hes weirded out by me so let me say thx AGAIN now in a composed way AND giving him peace of mind knowing i wont be back #unless?? i was not as awkward as i thought & get reassured i can return any time and then i could still b like thanks! and just Not go #i mean even then he might say it's fine even if he IS uncomfrtable w me just to 1. be nice and 2. make money w a participant locked in yknow #it does NOT help that the line btwn casual and professional was like NOT there btw its him just hosting the event as we all do our art idkkk #anyway if you THINK youve PROBABLY been a lil off is it better to 1. have a do-over and get closure or 2. fuck off forever hoping u never #like EVER run into the dude again and be awkward AGAIN bc well! u live in the same city and are both into art so?? there IS a possibility #I CAN SEE THE PROS AND CONS OF BOTH OPTIONS REALLY #yay for sending email: get a response get some clarity NOW. nay for sending email: girl u met him twice. please. leave the stranger alone <3 #the one positive abt me feeling Dumb and Embarrassing is at least every time i think back i heave a Big Ole Sigh. feels nice tbh feels good #sad part is i rediscovered how much i love doing art and want to improve. would love to return it was so cheap.. pleek ill get over my crush

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latinokaeya-moving · 2 years

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everytime. everytime i talk abt finding the whole immortality dilemma a lil funny/Personally trite bc i’ve very desperately wished i was immortal since i was like. 12 years old. i’ve gotten ppl trying to explain why immortality is narratively treated as a bad thing that has many downsides actually as if i haven’t heard the argument of “but you’ll outlive everyone you know🥺” before and just straight up don’t care that much abt it 😭

when i was watching iwtv this weekend w my cousin i brought it up bc obviously vampires r always talking abt the gift/curse of immortality n when i rolled my eyes n jokingly was like immortality rocks actually she very stiffly was like “you just say that bc you haven’t lost someone yet” and like yeah i guess that’s true but also i think you severely underestimate how much i fear my human mortality lol

#x #death stresses me out a Lot i’ve talked to my parents before abt how if it was possible i would be into being #cryogenically frozen or smth until ppl figured the whole lengthening lifespan thing out😭😭#i was Extremely neurotic about it as a teen a lot of my intrusive thoughts involved me suddenly dying n that would make me freak out m just #start crying at the idea of it lol #the whole reason i started listening to podcasts was bc otherwise at the time when i was working in the evenings i would just let my mind d #drift* to the idea of death n i would get sooo agitated and upset abt it #i straight up often stayed awake for HOURS bc i couldn’t bring myself to fall asleep bc i was so scared of dying suddenly overnight like i’m #not kidding at all when i say i went insaneeee #everytime i thought abt death it’s always stressed me out. so i’ve Always said that id take immortality any day lol.#even tho my fear isn’t as Ever present n constantly bringing me to tears now i still stand by it sorry i know i know the conceptual issues w #becoming immortal and all but 🤷 death scares me more lol #if ur curious btw im not scared of death in an abstract sense i just Really don’t like that we don’t definitively know what happens after we #die and hate that. and the standard idea of when u die ur consciousness ceases to exist is upsetting to me lol i don’t like it at All #it’s why i sometimes wish i was able to be religious in some way bc i want the comfort of some kind of assurance of what happens after #but yeah. ANYWAYS. was just thinking abt this bc of the reminder of that convo w my cousin bc i saw iwtv on my dash #i AM the weakest link and would 100% ask to be turned into a vampire given the opportunity thank you very much

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seventh-district · 3 months

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#Seven's Public Diary #vent #vent post #cw vent #cw vent post #can i go more than a fucking week without having my cptsd triggered again? pLEASE???#me and my haywire nervous system can't ever catch a fucking break i swear to god #at least i managed to get the Matt fic posted before that happened and ruined my night #literally three minutes after i hit post. something has to happen IRL and ruin my slight good mood. sigh. anyways #my chest still feels tight but my focus is coming back i think. lets hope the rest of the night is uneventful #anyways. uh. positives. got the Matt fic posted on here And Ao3! yay. after working on it the last two evenings it's officially done #i know i put way too much effort into my fics especially ones that will get very little readership but eh i can't help it #time spent doing something you enjoy is never time wasted or however the saying goes #uh oh. the stress injury in my neck is starting to feel tight again. that's probably not a great sign #i should try to relax. been sitting at my desk too much recently and my back's mad abt it too #i would unwind with some Genshin exploration grinding or smthn but that's just more desk sitting time #so hm. animal crossing in bed it is then #watch me say that then spend the next 3 hours on tumblr #i cant help it i want to update my pinned posts and fill my queue up some more #and i have some drafts to work on... still need to finish that Sun & Moon appearance guide for ES #maybe i'll pull an all-nighter. i need to fix my sleep schedule again. like badly. but then i risk a migraine. aaggghhhhhh #anyways this has been Venting and Bad Decision Making 101 thabks for coming to my TED talk #oh hey look at that i got a like on the Matt fic. mood slightly improved. thank u whoever u r <3

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kavehater · 14 days

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Every time my mum throws yet another hissy fit although I can understand she’s being stupid and I let her yap to her hearts content cause she can never quit complaining, for some reason I’m so mildly bothered that the irritation makes me angry at every other thing.

For example : the fact that so and so hasn’t responded in 51 years, fifty more people haven’t even given so much as a single darn to ask why I haven’t replied yet or use those two brain cells of theirs currently fighting for third place to realise huh, maybe she’s going through a hard time ! Maybe you know like a decent fucking human being I could leave her a little note saying she can answer whenever she feels fit enough to do so but that I care for her, and the fact that I am irate by how care and compassion is offered on a silver platter to so many yet for me I have to beg and do the most absurd and pathetic displays to achieve even the slightest speck of kindness, and if I DONT do all of that in the one in a trillion possibility of me receiving kindness for free it makes me so disgusted and afraid because why the fuck would you do that, in fact why the fuck would anyone even do that even if I gave them my whole heart and soul anyways. All I am is less than dirt by way of reason given how I have been treated, and although I’m unsure as to why I am and that I can never fully understand the reason for why I’m not worth a single thing, and why I am worthless, i understand that that’s how the world works and I ought to adapt to my role and take it because nobody will stop for me

#‘u guys have seen how fast life can be taken from you’ well I hope it comes faster bc I have been praying for the end to come #for years yet nothing #I have not only been let down by this world #but I have been let down by God so many times it’s genuinely baffling #why can’t He just kill me already #I don’t even care anymore about the method #I don’t even care if it’s the most excruciatingly painful thing #if I get ripped in half or have my organs harvested or tortured for however many days #I think I just need to go and i need to go NOW.#practically the only real consistent wish I’ve had in my life is that I am to be something important to others #someone irreplaceable #but I am not even noticed much less replaced #and how a girl could yap on about her insecurity abt her bangs and within an hour she gets heaps of comments #yet for me ? when I write odes to death every other Tuesday it’s whoopsie who gives a fuck about her I hope she dies #that’s precisely how it looks like to me #I think everyone does wish death upon me for the simple fact that nobody asks #nobody cares and nobody tries to help #actions speak louder than words and everyone’s actions are very clear to me #clearly someone throwing a pity party over themselves for fucking bangs is definitely a cause for concern yes yes ! worthy of twenty notes #within the span of a single hour 🥺🥺🥺 but of course I don’t deserve shit so that’s why nobody gaf 🙂‍↕️#dora daily #my only request is for all to be blunt and clear that I am worthless in their eyes.at least my mum reminds me often.why can’t yall do the #same. at least she is honest and not mincing her words. listen I can handle much more than anyone thinks I’m not as sensitive as everyone #makes me out to be. so freaking tell me how horrible I am tell me that I am a chore to speak to that I am a burden and weigh u all down #and that I am some infinitely unimaginable list of negative attributes and that’s all I’ll ever amount to because I would send my dearest #thanks for you being so brave and saying it to my face. rather than being a coward and a fool for hiding behind flowery words and meaningles #nothings uttered just for filler. newsflash I can read intents and in between the lines well but I am not a mind reader nor does anything #imply that I can read minds. yes I can discern intents and the smallest signals but I CANNOT read minds #why you won’t catch me hold hope that anything I make will get hype so I won’t post it on this platform and if I do I won’t tag it #and why do people always get fed up or think I’m lying or smth when I insist I’m sick like wtf. or they act like I’m lying by embodying the

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poetic-ivy · 7 months

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hi just dropping by to say i loved your seth/allison fic on ao3?? like its not something i would've willingly looked for (purely cause im not the biggest shipper i suppose), but i'm so glad i read, it was so rewarding. like genuinely.

omg this is so sweet thank you so very much!! it means a lot that you’d give it a chance, I didn’t figure I’d get much engagement with it outside of a very very very tiny less than handful of people, so this message is like being gifted a bag of gold <3 I’m so glad that you enjoyed it and had a good time!!

#I too was not much of a shipper until I wrote it honestly #I wanted the challenge of navigating smth I’d never done before and by god it all works out perfectly #smth abt thinking abt how dynamics actually could work will create such fun brainworms sometimes #they had to have had good times and it couldn’t have been all about the hookups!!!!#thank u again very very much for popping by to let me know you liked it. genuinely kicking my feet like a school girl #tara-the-star #asks #eli.txt

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