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yo-yo-yeonkai · 1 year

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PAGES OF OUR YOUTH - CHOI YEONJUN - SFW

Choi Yeonjun x Fem!reader

Genre: Fluff

Warning list: Childhood bestie! Yeonjun, non-idol AU!, a slow burn, possessiveness, misunderstanding, they are both so clueless it hurts, underage drinking, alcohol, parties, swears, not proofread entirely, let me know if I missed any,

Word count: 14,070

Summary: You both kept dairies growing up and reading them now shows the desperate yet beautiful love story you had… who knew two people could view things so differently.

A/N: All of (Y/N)'s writing will be in italics with a pink date, whilst Yeonjun's will have a blue date, Anything their daughter says or is current time will be in bold

Extra: I’m sorry this is so long… it is interesting though, I promise!!!!

Happy Birthday Yeonjun <3

Fuck it was dusty up here, how dare Dad send her up here, she was practically choking on the air. Smelled old…like him, she laughed at her own jokes and kept searching for it. Why did she have to ask dumb questions….

A few days ago, she asked ‘’some parents have a box of their child’s things, do you have one for me?’’, and to that, her dad said, ‘’yeah, if you want it, it’s in the attic with a pink lid, it has your name on it. it’s easy to find’’.

Her dad offered to go and get it at that point, but she said no. God how she wished she’d said yes... this was unbearable.

It was clean up here but somehow dusty as fuck, the light shone over all the specs, and she could clearly tell which things had been moved more recently than others. She found the box, among other boxes. One said her mum’s name and one her dad’s name… cool they have childhood boxes too…

Let's see how ugly they were as children!

But what met her was much more confusing, it was a letter, from her mum to her dad, it was in her dad’s box. And the next one was, and each one had a date…

Oooo, what if she was to line them all up in timeline order? She was going to… because she was curious! But first, she had to clean this room and get her bean bag up here. That is how the 18-year-old dove into her parent's memories, not so accidentally finding out all about their relationship.

Once each note or letter was lined up in the folder of a book, and she acquired her parent's childhood diaries from the bottom of their boxes, she began flicking through them.

2005, September, 5

School today! It was okay. Beth tried to take my snack. She is mean! The teacher told her off. Mum says good. So do I. New boy in school. He wasn’t here last time. Where did he come from? I don’t remember his name. he looked weird.

2005, September, 5

School started. It was a new one. I don’t like it. nobody spoke to me. This girl got a bully told off. That was cool. I think her name was (Y/N). She seemed smart.

2005, September, 7

New boy lives next door! Mum made me say hello. I said no. but she never hears me. She must not like me. I love my mum. She must hate me. I feel sad. I still don’t know his name. he didn’t say hello. He must hate me. Now I’m sadder.

2005, September, 7

(Y/N) is my neighbour. She came over with her parents. I got scared because she is cool. She said hi. I didn’t. I’m mean. She probably thinks I’m stupid.

2005, October, 16

Mum keeps making me go to his house. I don’t want to speak. Not to him. He looks at me weird. He must hate me to the max. Mum says no. She is a liar. His parents are nice. Not as good as mine. Good. My mum and his mum are friends. Just like me and Hana. Good. Mum should have friends as well.

2005, October, 21

They keep coming to my home. Mum and Dad say it is because we are friends. I didn’t know. Me and her are friends? ok.

2005, November, 19

New boy stayed in his room when we came over. His mum said he was sick. She lied. I could hear him singing. It was good. I like singing too. Maybe we can be friends. I’m bad at singing. He will think I suck. We can’t be friends.

2005, November, 19

They are at my house now. I locked myself in my room. Mum told me to come out or (Y/N) wouldn’t want to be my friend. I don’t care. She scares me. She is quiet at school but loud with her parents. She must be a transformer or something weird. I’ll block her out with my singing.

2005, December, 17

Nearly Christmas! So excited! Mum told me to give Yeonjoon something. I asked Mum his name. I had to write it on a card. He is Yeonjoon. I don’t know what to get him. We aren’t even friends. He is just a weirdo. Maybe he’d like a rock as well? Do all kids like them? Hana doesn’t. But I do! Yeonjoon probably won’t.

2005, December, 21

Christmas. I can’t wait to get new toys. Dad made me sign a card for (Y/N). ok. Mum said I should pick her a flower for Christmas. There are no flowers around. I looked. Mum must have meant it as a joke. I should’ve laughed instead of being serious.

2005, December, 25

Yeonjoon’s family is coming over today. I don’t want them to. This day is meant to be for my family! Not other families. Mum says I should spend time with people I like. I told her I didn’t like him. She told me that was mean. Oh well. I must go now. The doorbell is ringing.

I’m back. I showed Yeonjoon Yeonjun my rocks, he didn’t care. I knew I shouldn’t have offered him one. He took it anyway. It was the small one, named Sam. I liked that one. I hope he doesn’t lose it.

2005, December, 25

Christmas today. I just opened all my presents. I got so many cool things. Mum told me to get ready because we are going to (Y/N)’s house after lunch. I decided not to fight it. Today should be happy. So I will be.

I’m home. We went to (Y/N)’s house. Food was yummy. (Y/N) spelt my name wrong on the card, so I corrected her. She seemed sad. I was sad she spelt it wrong. I got hers right.

We went to her room to play. She collects rocks. That’s not normal. She gave me one as a gift. It was weird but I picked one. The smallest one so she wouldn’t get sad. She called it Small Sam. It was funny that it had a name. I’ll keep him in my bedside table, so I don’t lose it. first Christmas gift I got from a friend.

2006, January, 29

I know Yeonjun lost Sam, he’s not in Yeonjun’s room. my small rock baby died. Because of Yeon-poop-jun. I hate him.

2006, January, 29

She was mad today. She was looking all around my room. I asked her what she wanted. She said she was only looking. Weird girl. It was kind of funny. I hope she wasn’t judging.

2006, April, 2

Yeonjun came over again today, he brought Sam. We played with rocks. He even went to the garden and found his own rock. Why is he nice? I’m sorry Yeonjun for thinking you killed Sam. I’m glad you like rocks as well.

2006, April, 2

I went to (Y/N)’s house because I was bored. Mum told me I should see if she wanted to play. So I brought Small Sam because I know she likes rocks. She was happy. We played rocks. She had more rocks to play with than me. I went to her garden and found my own one. I named him Gerard. Seemed right. I had fun even though they were rocks.

2006, June, 14

I had a thought when I was playing with Gerard and Sam. What if (Y/N) is poor and has no money for toys? That would be sad. I told Mum we should get her something. She said no. That (Y/N) had toys. She just likes rocks. Odd.

2006 July, 22

I have nobody to play with apart from Poop-Jun. Summer is boring. I wish my friend lived as close as Yeonjun. then I could play with them. Yeonjun is boring now. He got annoyed with my rocks. I thought he liked them. If he was a rock I’d put him in the toilet and flush it.

2006, July, 22

I went to (Y/N)’s. I was trying to see if she had toys. Mum says she does. I’m not sure. I asked if we could play with something that isn’t rocks. She got sad. I didn’t mean to make her sad. I was just checking if she was poor. If she was. I’d give her a toy. She got mad that I wouldn’t play rocks and kicked me out.

2006, September, 4

I didn’t speak to Yeonjun all summer after the rock thing. I saw him in school today. He has glasses now. He looks silly. I wanted to laugh but I knew I shouldn’t. I kept my head in my book all day.

2006, September, 4

(Y/N) still seemed mad about the rocks when we went back to school. I hoped she wasn’t. I feel bad that she does. She laughed at my glasses. On purpose to get back at me. Mum said I had to keep my glasses. But I hate them now. I don’t want her people to make fun of me.

2006, October, 31

Me and Yeonjun went trick-or-treating together. It was fun. He was a pirate. I was a princess. Our mum’s made us match. We looked good. I had pink hair spray. I looked pretty.

2006, October, 31

Halloween. (Y/N) was a princess. She had pink hair. I thought only adults could have coloured hair. Her mum told me it was fake. I asked if it was a wig. She told me no and showed me it was a spray. She asked me if I wanted some. I did. I got a streak of pink. (Y/N) told me it was pretty. She called me a princess. I was a pirate. But ok.

2007, February, 9

Mum told me Yeonjun and I are two peas in a pod. What does that mean? Peas are gross. Are we gross? Maybe he is but I am not. How mean!

2007, February, 21

Mum said me and (Y/N) are like magnets that could stick together but chose not to. She explained it to me. It was confusing. Magnets have two poles. If you put opposite poles against each other they join. If you put the same poles together they push apart. Is she saying I push (Y/N) apart? Do I need to spin around? I don’t get it.

2007, May, 7

Me and Yeonjun don’t speak in school. Isn’t that weird? Are we friends? I don’t know. But every time I hear a fun song I write it down and put it in his letterbox. I hope he likes it. He likes singing.

2007, June, 29

I was walking home today and I saw a rock. I thought it looked like a heart and I thought of (Y/N). She would like that rock. So I kicked it home and left it near her front gate. Hopefully she will see it and like it. I thought it was cool.

2007, June, 30

You won't believe it! I found the cutest rock ever today. It was near my house's front gate. It looks like a heart. When I looked up I saw Yeonjun with his head out of the door watching me. I decided I’d call it Yeonjun. it seemed fitting. He shouldn’t have been watching if he didn’t want me to use his name. hehehehe!

2007, June, 30

OMG! She just picked up the rock and saw me. She smiled at me. Does she know it was me? Oh no. wait. Maybe that isn’t bad.

2007, August, 1

I heard Yeonjun singing one of the songs I suggested today. So I asked how he knew it. I hoped he didn’t know it was me. He said his parents write notes for him to suggest him songs. He says the songs are good. That’s good! Because it isn’t his parents. It’s me!

2007, August, 1

(Y/N) complimented the song I was singing today. I’ll have to thank Mum and Dad for suggesting it. she seemed happy that she knew the song. Note to self: It’s one of her favourites.

She closed the diaries and sighed, ‘’Dad, that note to self was not helpful. How am I meant to know what song was Mum’s favourite? Grandma and Nana were doing all the work, goddam. Going to have to make a few phone calls after this. God, they were so clueless back then. Dad clearly likes her!’’. The slow-burn love story was driving her crazy, but she was invested. How did her parents fall in love? This would be the perfect inspiration for her creative writing project.

She picked up the next diaries, it looked like they were in secondary school now.

2010, September, 4

Looks like me and Yeonjun are still going to the same schools, how annoying. I thought I would finally be able to escape him, but I was dreadfully wrong. Yeonjun’s mum told me about us being magnets yesterday. She is clearly crazy. Me and Yeonjun aren’t even the same creation. He is cool and talented, and I’m just me. Was she just trying to show off her son and make me feel bad? Probably not, but it worked.

2010, September, 10

Apparently, the school want us to keep diaries, so we can stay in touch with ourselves and our mental health. Bullshit if you ask me. But whatever. I like writing, but when I’m forced to like this, it makes me want to shove a pen in my eye. Same way seeing (Y/N) at school does. She’s always around me, I feel like we are joined! I just want to grab a pair of scissors and cut the thread connecting us!

WAIT…. NOOOOO! I just made myself think about the red thread of fate! Oh, fuck no! Brb, going to die.

2010, November, 13

Yeonjun is so popular at school that it hurts. I used to be the only one that knew he was talented, but now it's different. He wants the whole school to know so he can climb the social ladder. What a bitch. He’s just rubbing it in my face that I’m not cool, I’m just a nerdy quiet girl. Well, fuck him!

2010, November, 27

(Y/N) was in the library again today, I could see her as I left to go to the field. She’s always in there. Maybe I could convince her to come and play with me? I doubt it. she hates talking to me at school. Fine, whatever she wants…

2010, December, 24

Yeonjun won’t be here this Christmas, he’s gone to spend it with more family. It’s weird knowing he won’t be coming for dinner, he has been since we were 6, we are 12 now. OH, MY GOD, I’ve known him for 6 years. GROSS!

2010, December, 24

(Y/N) told me to have a nice time visiting my family when I saw her earlier, but I could see the sadness in her eyes. Maybe she feels the same way I do. I love my family but, in a way, (Y/N) and her family became part of my Christmas. We’ve spent 6 Christmases together, it will feel wrong without her, I know that much.

2010, December, 25

Christmas was great, in a way it was peaceful without Yeonjun around. But I'm not sure if I like that or not yet. It felt a little dull without him, but I still had fun. I felt really close with Mum and Dad today, it hasn’t been like this in years.

2010, December,25

It sucks here! Not even my cousins could make me feel better. I want to go back home. I should be happy… I haven’t seen my family all together like this in years. But thoughts of (Y/N) keep coming to mind, and I miss her. I hope she’s at least had a nice Christmas. I’ll call her later, so I know she isn’t bored without me.

2011, January, 1

Happy New Year! Yeonjun came last night and surprised me and my family. It was nice, so nice I forgot to write about it. I’m glad I got to speak to him in person again because his calls every evening got boring. He danced and sang a lot last night, he made all the grown-ups laugh. I wish I could bring joy to people like that. I’m jealous.

2011, January, 1

It’s the new year now. Mum told me to make a resolution. I told her I did, but I'm a stinking liar. I know I’m not going to stick to that. Perhaps I should make it something like ‘’call (Y/N) every night to annoy her’’ or maybe something useful like ‘’sign up to dance club’’. Maybe the last one is smart. I don’t like the other one, I don’t want to annoy (Y/N), she’ll only start hating me.

2011, March, 30

Yeonjun started doing dance club recently, and now he’s always late home and late places. I heard our mums talking about it. I couldn’t imagine being late for anything. He's got too much on his plate, he's out of touch with what he's capable of.

2011, April, 7

(Y/N) told me I should start being on time for things today. All because I was late to school and then late to her house after club. It’s not my fault I’m tired and busy. She’s not my mother! She’s got big boots because she does every piece of homework the day it's set and hands it in early. I must be stupid in her eyes. It’s not that I can’t do it… I just can’t time myself well.

2011, May, 18

Rumour got around at school quickly that Yeonjun finally got a detention for his tardiness. I want to say good, but I feel kind of bad. I know he works hard he just can’t organise himself. All he needs is someone to keep him on track. Maybe I’ll message him something like ‘’Do you need my help. We can Facetime and talk about the homework the night it's set, and both get it done together’’. Yeah, that seems nice, I'll message that.

Oooo, he responded. He took me up on my offer. He wants to call now so I’ll go. Time to be a hero…

2011, May, 29

Thank God for (Y/N)! ever since she started helping me, I can control myself a bit better. My homework gets handed in on time and because I’m less stressed, I sleep better, which means I wake up on time for school. She’s a blessing, isn’t she? A little time angel.

2011, July, 6

I regret saying I'd help Yeonjun. he started coming over to my house every evening so we could work on homework together. It’s better this way, but it’s annoying. He doesn’t knock! It drives me crazy. Every time I remind him knocking is a thing he says ‘’Yeah, next time’’. BUT HE NEVER DOES!! Next time I’ll hit him, I swear.

2011, July, 27

I’m so glad the school year is over and me and (Y/N) got closer. I think my New Year’s resolution worked for both ideas I had. ‘’Sign up to dance club’’, well it also did the same thing as ‘’Annoy (Y/N) more’’. Though she doesn’t seem to hate me. Cool!

She put down the book and practically slapped her head ‘’How dumb are you both?’’ she questioned sizing up the next book that seemed to be from year 11. She wonders why there are so many gaps in between. Then she remembers the thing her dad wrote about being forced to keep a diary.

2014, September, 7

School started again… unfortunately. The summer was nice this year. Me and Yeonjun hung out nearly every day. He didn’t really give me a choice, he was always barging in. No, he still hasn’t learnt how to knock. It drives me insane. I punched him in the arm last time, he only laughed like a maniac. Fucking freak.

He’s in my Maths class now, he was the set below last year. Clearly, all the studying I helped him do pay off. I’m proud of myself, and him I suppose. He sits next to me now. He passes me notes. I’ll stick them on the pages.

You look like a nerd when you concentrate, did you know that? -Yeonjun <3

As if I give a fuck, who does he think he is? Sending me notes when I was trying to concentrate like a nerd! That was not helpful Yeonjun!

2014, September, 7

WINNING! I got moved up a set! To (Y/N)’s set, which means I’m a genius by the way. She even sits next to me. That means I can cheat! Not that she’d let me… she believes strongly in hard work, and so do I. That’s why I worked so hard over the summer to get better, I don’t need perfect grades for being a musician, but getting them would be nice.

I sent her a post-it note in maths class, I don’t remember what It said but she sent one back. Why didn’t she just write on the one I gave her and hand it back?

Shut your mouth Poop-Jun, focus. Or you’ll become dumb again <3

-(Y/N)

Did she seriously call me POOP-JUN!! like a child? It’s kinda cute funny!!!!!!!!! I’ll have to make up a dumb name for her. Game on (Y/N)

2014, October, 31

I’m going to a party tonight, for the first time in my life. All because Yeonjun asked… I hate this man. I heard there would be alcohol, we aren’t old enough for alcohol. I voiced my concerns to Yeonjun, but he told me that was normal. What? I didn’t know that… underage drinking is normal. Had he drunk before? Why?

2014, October, 31

I finally convinced (Y/N) to come to the Halloween party with me. Thank fuck. Maybe I can teach her how to drink today before we get to college, and she embarrasses herself. Even if she did, I’d still like her. NOT IN A WEIRD WAY!! I just mean that I’d still be her friend!!

She sighs at her dad and mumbles ‘’I think the boy doth protest too much… nobody asked how you meant it, dad!’’

2014, November, 1

I feel like such a bad child. I need to confess that I drank last night. Not because Yeonjun told me, but because I was curious. He did offer me, but he warned me first. I heard him out but even after his lecture I still did it. he decided not to because I had, and he wasn’t sure if I could take it. Turns out I couldn’t take it that well and Yeonjun tried to take me home, I tried to tell him not to because of my parents. He already knew that though; he’s known my parents for more than half his life!!

We went to his instead and he let me sleep in his bed, he slept on the blow-up bed on his floor. It was weird having a sleepover with him, especially drunk. I remember looking off the bed and seeing him on the floor sleeping peacefully. I wished I could sleep peacefully, but the urge to throw up last night stuck like a nasty bug.

2014, November, 1

Note to self: (Y/N) absolutely can’t drink!!

God, it was so cute funny! She drank quite a lot, more than I'd expected. She seemed to have a lot of fun. But suddenly she kind of fell backwards against me. At first, I thought she was trying to put the moves on me, and I froze, but I quickly realised it was because she was drunk. She was losing control of her body. Though she protested when I tried to take her home, she eventually gave in. under one condition, not her parent's house. Did she think I was an idiot? I already knew that! I wasn’t born yesterday! Her parents might kill both of us. But my parents didn’t care… who do you think drove us home? Dad picked us up and I explained it to him. He came up with the solution of her sleeping over.

I froze once again at the thought… (Y/N), sleeping in my house? That was new! Fine, whatever. I agreed to it. I sent her parents a message on her phone so they wouldn’t suspect anything. Genius.

She was gone when I helped her into my bed, instantly collapsing. It was cu… no I won’t write that again!!!! I kept an eye on her because I didn’t want her throwing up and she looked so red… but even then, she was beau…

Never mind…

‘’NO. Dad, it was right there. You knew it. you liked her!!!! Please tell me you knew it’’ she huffed, frustrated by how her dad kept crossing out words or not finishing them.

2014, November, 10

I told my parents about my drinking; they didn’t actually care because they knew I was safe. They just wished I had come home so they could take care of me instead of me being in the house across. It nearly made me cry when my mum said that. They said at the age of 16 they would rather I didn’t unless I was at home, but that they did it when they were my age. Me and Yeonjun had clearly perceived them all wrong.

When he came flying into my house unannounced, I heard them talking to him downstairs about it so laughed upstairs until he flung my door open, something along the lines of ‘’You could’ve warned me’’ coming out of his mouth. Apparently, he was downstairs trying to fight for my life by keeping up the lie, until my parents told him I’d admitted it. all I could say was ‘’that’s what happens when you don’t ask to come over’’. He was quick to respond though ‘’You love it when I appear’’. He was wrong, I don’t love it, I only like it mildly….

2014, November, 10

How dare she?? I’ve never been more: horrified, shocked, and embarrassed all at the same time… was this revenge for taking her to the party? No… she definitely had fun, she thanked me. What did I do to deserve this? Imagine me lying my ass off to her parents, meanwhile, they know the truth, God there isn’t much worse than that. Practically broadcasting that I’m not the boy they know and love!

When I told her she should’ve warned me she was nonchalant about it all… how dare she be so calm. It annoyed me to see her like that, but it somehow calmed me down at the same time. We sat in her room all evening talking about what had happened at the party, what she actually remembered, how she talks in her sleep.

It was great until I caught her mum on the way out the door. ‘’I know you care about her, so I know you would never let something happen to her. But please don’t lie to me like that again… put some trust in me Yeonjun, and I’ll put my trust in you’’. I wasn’t sure what she meant by that, and I still don’t. it keeps circling my head, and each time I just want to know what she really meant. Easier said than done.

2014, December, 25

It’s that time of year again. Christmas. I don’t get the same joy I used to get from it now, but Yeonjun still seems thrilled by it. he just wouldn’t hang up the Facetime call last night. We fell asleep on it. I eventually drowned out the sound of him talking and drifted to sleep, but I woke to his sleeping face on my screen and panicked and hung up. It took me by surprise, I thought he would’ve hung up. Unless he accidentally fell asleep.

Even though he knew he’d see me later that day he was texting me things like ‘’GOOD MORNING’’, ‘’MERRY CHRISTMAS’’, ‘’I HAVE THE BEST GIFT FOR YOU THIS YEAR’’. Yes, Yeonjun types in all capitals, he’s on drugs I swear. This year I got him new dancing shoes with money I'd earned from my job, they were the ones he’d wanted for months… and I joined forces with his parents so we wouldn’t both get them for him. I’ll write again once he’s got them. So, I can forever replay the epic moment when he tells me I’m the best friend ever for listening to his never-ending whining.

2014, December, 25

I didn’t wake up on a call with her like I thought I would. Maybe she hung up in her sleep, or the call cut out. When she fell asleep last night to the sound of my voice, I found that so…. I found it very… very peaceful and nice! So, I stayed on call and eventually fell asleep myself. I found it comforting to do so…

Waking up without her on the call was more disheartening than I thought it might be, so I messaged her. No, I spammed her! She must think I’m stupid! She eventually answered me though. ‘’I look forward to giving you your gift! It’s so good, you’ll love it!’’. pshhhh, she thought she had a better gift than I'd got her, she was severely wrong. I’d got her a new set of paints and brushes, the expensive ones she said were out of her reach. She loves painting… and I love looking at her paint.

"Dad you are driving me crazy here, just admit it to yourself’’.

2014, December, 26

Yesterday was crazy! Yeonjun’s family came over and we did gifts like normal. Yeonjun got me the paints I wanted!! I was so glad he listened to my groans and used his brain to get me them. I have no clue where he got all that money, and it made me feel bad thinking about how he’d spent it all on me… but I did the same, so I suppose it’s fair. The best bit was, he gave me a tiny painted rock he’d apparently painted when he was sat with me in the art rooms at school. I didn’t even see him! Crazy! I think I want to start painting rocks now, I have so many I might as well.

But when things got serious is when our parents invited us to drink with them and play board games. Imagine me and Yeonjun on a team playing games against adults that were only tipsy. Ridiculous. We played Monopoly and I kept stealing Yeonjun’s money, he didn’t know though. He seemed clueless every time he picked up his money to pay ‘’where did I spend my money’’ he’d whine, a stupid pout on his lips. I’d then make up a story on how he’d spent it on his way around the board. He fell for it every time… nice!

2014, December, 26

OMG!!!! (Y/N) GOT ME THE DANCE SHOES I WANTED!!!! She must be rich to have afforded these! They are so comfortable and feel so nice when I dance. She knows me so well…. She is such a great listener. I only mentioned these once, I think…

We ended up drinking all together with our parents it was hilarious because she was so gone. I drank a little extra to keep up with her, but I couldn’t help but laugh every time I looked down at her pink-flushed face… she truly sucked at drinking. We were on the same team for charades, and she was awful at showing words, but great at guessing them. I couldn’t help but laugh at her terrible impression of a reindeer, she tried so hard. It was so cute. We played Monopoly all together and she kept stealing my money, she thought I didn’t know, but I did. She even watched me watch her take a piece and she still seemed convinced I didn’t know. I’d let her win today; it was too FUNNY not to.

2015, January, 19

Yeonjun kept sliding me notes. Now I have a collection of them… here.

Is the answer to question a x=6?

Yeonjun ;P

By the way, the answer was not 6. Yes, I did help him. I’m not a demon.

The boy in front of us has a sticker on his back!!!! HAHAHA

Yeonjun XD

I heard Yeonjun laugh to himself as he: one, realised our classmate had a sticker on his back, two wrote the note, three as he handed it to me, four as I read it, and five, looked at the boy's back. Yes, there was a sticker… was it funny, maybe a little. But he was distracting me.

Do you think I’m sexy?

YES OR YES no

Sexy man Yeonjun ;D

When I received it, I crossed out his options with a laugh and showed him my new options. He pouted at me and acted like a stroppy baby for the rest of the class, how annoying.

Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

(Y/N) … Don’t ignore this! Write the next lyric. I know you know it!

Don’t you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?

DON’T CHA!!!!!!!!!

Well done

That one I nearly didn’t write the lyric because I was trying to focus. But it became more distracting to not answer him than to answer him. I discovered Yeonjun gives up faster if I just respond to him. It was also a note I nearly got confiscated from my desk, had Yeonjun not snatched it up before our teacher could see it. I’m glad he did.

Can I come over today?

Yeonjun <3

You always come over…

Yes, but I was asking because I’m nice.

No, you are asking because you are bored, can you please just focus on the lesson.

Only because you asked <3

That one was prime craziness and I snatched it up when the sight of a heart met my eyes. How could he be joking so shamelessly?

2015, January, 20

IT’S THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE! I got moved away from (Y/N) in maths!!! The teacher said we talk too much… I’m sorry but have you ever seen her mouth move for a fun conversation… no! She’s only ever explained things to me!! What is this hate that’s being slung our way! I’m pissed! There goes any fun I’ve ever had in school! Now all that’s left is cute notes she gave me!! I’m in my feelings!! I’ll stick the memories of our fun times together down below.

Yeonjun breath quieter, it’s too loud :)

Annoyed (Y/N)

The answer is 3 not 6!!

Smart (Y/N)

Our teacher is wrong the answer is actually 23. I have no clue how he got 24…

Confused (Y/N)

Can we get snacks before we head home?

Hungry (Y/N)

Is my hair flat at the back? I feel a bump…

Curious (Y/N)

2015, January, 23

Yeonjun got moved back next to me, good because he was whining about it so much, I thought I’d have to cut off my own ears. When I walked in and saw him sat down, I was glad the whining would be over. I knew he’d be all right without me, he is smart, but he seemed to want to cling to me. He needs to grow some self-confidence.

2015, January, 23

THANK THE LORD THAT ME AND (Y/N) SIT NEXT TO EACH OTHER AGAIN!!!! Apparently, it was only for that one lesson, so when I went into the classroom early begging to sit next to her because she helps me, I was just embarrassing myself. Ughhh, the things I do for her happiness. I just knew she wouldn’t be able to handle being apart from me. The look on her face, when she saw me sitting in my normal seat, said it all. She was obviously in love with me!!!

"God no mum! He wanted to stay near you because he likessss you’’ She slapped the words in the diary, now annoyed by her clueless mother as well as her father.

2015, February, 9

Me and Yeonjun keep talking about college and what we want to do in the future. We both seem as clueless as each other so we spend days in my room googling colleges, and the courses they have. Half the problem is… we don’t really want to go our separate ways. I may get annoyed by him, but Yeonjun has been my friend for 10 years, and for all of that we’ve gone to the same school. I really don’t want that to change, it scares me.

What happens if I can’t make friends? I won’t even have Yeonjun to rely on!! What if I hate it and Yeonjun isn’t around to annoy me because he’s swimming in his popularity in a new school!!! Live your life, but please Yeonjun, stay near me….

2015, February, 10

Looking at colleges is so draining!! Who knew making one choice would feel so pressuring? I know what course I want to do, and the clubs don’t matter to me because I do them outside of school. So why do I find myself looking for colleges that have not only music courses but art ones as well? And why do I find myself suggesting them to (Y/N)?

She seems so stressed out whenever we are looking, so clearly, I’m just trying to help her whilst also looking for myself. Yeah, that sounds right!!!!! Every time we scoot closer together to look at her laptop, the screen lit up with college, I notice it, the look in her eyes. She’s scared, and I don’t know what to say. Life is moving on and I don’t think she’s prepared. She’s been focusing so much on this year that I honestly don’t think she ever thought past it. and now, as she’s trying to revise for her final exams in a few months’ time, she has to make decisions. Ones she’s not ready to make.

In the moment I often think about reaching my hand out to hold hers, maybe she would find comfort in it. but I don’t… it would be weird to her. I know that much….

‘’This is by far the worst bit I’ve read yet! Dad just do it, make a move’’.

2015, February, 17

We picked a college, and both applied, we haven’t heard back yet, but they have no reason to not accept us. I heard it's easy getting into colleges… I’m not sure if I believe it or not, but I'll hope. When we put in our applications I almost cried because I got so nervous, but Yeonjun wrapped his arm over my shoulder and dragged me into his side, the warmth almost comforting. He’s never hugged me out of the blue like that, it shocked me.

I found myself wanting him to hold me longer. I think it’s because I’ve never been hugged by anyone other than my parents, or his parents. My friends don’t hug me because they assume I don’t like to be touched. Am I to serious? I wonder what Yeonjun thinks… maybe he thinks I’m too serious and it took him this long to work up the courage to hug me. Maybe I should think about how I present myself to people.

2015, February, 17

We put in our college applications today, together. We applied for the same college as I wanted us to. She was worried because we had finally done it, made a decision. She expected to hear back instantly, I don’t know why, and when she didn’t, she got so nervous I thought she’d throw up. So, my arm moved before I could think. I hugged her!!! She didn’t run away or tell me I was gross… she calmed down slightly. Maybe she didn’t find it weird at all. I was really worried she would, that’s why I never comforted her physically. I suppose I was the one that was scared after all.

I really hope we get into the same college; I don’t really know what it would be like without her. No matter where I go, she’s always been there… not really, I could list places she hasn’t been that I have… shut up Yeonjun….

I just want her by my side for a while longer. Is that a crime? If it’s not, why do I feel like it is?

2015, April, 14

We have spent so much time revising, I feel like I have no time for anything else. I don’t know how Yeonjun does it… he does clubs, school, revision and hangs out with his friends. I’m sure he’s awake 24/7, that would make sense. But he never looks tired. He always looks so awake, like every day is day he will love, even though he’s been living this life for months.

I have his timetable because I’m the one that organises his life… this isn’t a friend’s package… I’m doing too much. But someone has to, he has no one else that will... all this happened because I offered my help a few years ago, oh the butterfly effect, you’ve got me now.

2015, April, 19

ALL I DO IS REVISE!!! It’s so astronomically boring. Yeah, that was a big word, (Y/N) says it’s the word of the day. She says I should try using them, so boom!! Too bad she’ll never see the proof… I’ll have to use the word in her face later when I go to her house. Maybe I should say ‘’You are astronomically smart, I’m grateful for you’’…. EW, too mushy for me. I'd only say that to a girl I liked, and I DON’T like (Y/N)!!!

2015, May, 9

I had my first exam today… I’m so nervous. I think it went well, but I heard that means I did badly. I really hope I didn’t do badly. I haven’t tried my whole life to fail now. Come on (Y/N), only a little longer left. Time to get back to revising for my next test, its tomorrow, I’m wasting time.

2015, May, 9

Sat my maths exam today. It went well, I’m very happy. I sit my English one tomorrow, I’m not confident. (Y/N) is on Facetime right now trying to drill quotes into our head, I’m trying to listen, but I just can’t focus. That’s why I’m writing my mind on this page so hopefully I can listen to her again.

Why is it that every time I look at her on the screen stressing about the exam that I want to hug her, tell her it will be okay. At first, I thought I was just an amazing friend, and I wanted to help her. But the thought won’t leave me alone. I’m so close to marching over to her house and holding her until she tells me she feels okay.

I should listen to her again now, or she will get mad. That would only make things worse…. Good luck me!

2015, May, 23

I had my art exam today and I painted Yeonjun. I spent the whole day in a room painting his portrait… when I asked him to be my reference for art, he was okay with that, I think that’s because he’s confident in himself, I’m not. I’m jealous of him and his stupid face, which I can now say for sure, is very even. I spent the whole day painting it!!! I would know!!! I'd never focused much on his face when I was painting before, I could just kind of paint it, like it was the easiest thing. But today I was so careful that I was measuring. I couldn’t afford a mistake on this exam; I needed the perfect grade… I hope Yeonjun never sees that painting because honestly, I think I painted him too well. His ego may shoot, and I wouldn’t be able to stand that.

2015, May, 23

(Y/N) spent the entire day painting me, and when I waited for her by the classroom, I could see her through the glass. She looked like she was being careful, each stroke was controlled. I couldn’t see the canvas because it had its back to me, but I could see her. She had paint smudged on her nose and cheeks, clearly shed brushed it onto herself by accident. Why did my heart flutter at the sight of her? That wasn’t meant to happen…

A teacher saw me waiting and spoke to me ‘’Ah, Mr Choi? The one (Y/N) is always painting?’’. Did she speak about me to her teachers? He seemed to know about me… it was odd. I responded to him regardless ‘’Yes sir, that’s me. How do you know?’’. The teacher laughed at me and patted my back ‘’Word gets around… she paints you, and what do you photograph in your photography work?’’. He was teasing me!!!! How dare he!!! He already knew the answer… I photograph her. She just makes the perfect subject; she doesn’t need to pose. I can take a picture of her when she’s being moody and ignoring me and it comes out perfectly. Does she know I do this? No. if she found out would she hate me? Yes. She doesn’t like the way she looks… how sad… I think she looks perfect incredible… FINE. She looks absolutely normal, not bad…

2015, June, 20

I finally finished school, I'm not sure how I feel. I got accepted to the college me and Yeonjun wanted, and he did as well. We have the whole summer to do what? I have nothing to keep me busy now, maybe other than Yeonjun and work. I thought I’d be more excited to have an early summer. But instead, I realised I’m boring. What do I do with my days? All I do is wait for Yeonjun to finish living his life and then come around my house. When college starts, I need to make some friends, that aren’t Yeonjun!!!

2015, June, 23

THANK YOU, LORD!! TORTURE IS FINALLY OVER!! All exams are done, I got into the college I wanted, my friends still want to hang out with me!!! I’ve spent my days practically living at dance club, or my friends’ houses. Me and Soobin are curious how long I can live at his house without my mum telling me to come home. So far, we are at 3 days. In these days I haven’t seen (Y/N) and the only messages she sends me are ‘’Why didn’t you come over today?’’, ‘’You didn’t come over again today’’, ‘’Are you dead. You come to my house every day. This is the third day’’. Surely, she has things she can be doing, why is she so worried about me. It’s probably best I keep my distance, for my own good. She won’t mind, in fact, she’ll probably like it…

2015, June, 30

He still hasn’t come over… what is his problem??? I stopped messaging a few days ago. He never tells me where he is or what he’s doing, he just sends me a message saying ‘’not today, watch a movie or something’’. I don’t like watching movies alone… I thought he knew that. Why is he being mean?? I thought we got past that years ago… is it because of college? Is he scared? Well so am I!! I wanted him by my side… I guess not. Maybe I had the wrong idea about us…

2015, July, 3

I finally returned home because my mum told me to. She knew I was at Soobin’s because I told her, and she didn’t seem to care as long as I was safe. The only reason she told me to come home was because of (Y/N)… apparently she got so bored she came to my house to ask my mum to bake a cake with her. They did, and apparently, they had a nice time. But why in the world would she do that. Didn’t she have better things to do?

Mum told me I need to ‘be there’ for (Y/N), but I don’t get it. She seems fine so what’s the problem? I’ll go over and see her tomorrow.

2015, July, 4

Poop-Jun came over today. Stupid boy. Why did he think I’d want to hang out after he hasn’t seen me or messaged me in weeks. Did he decide I was too good for him? Am I too uncool and ugly for popular people like Yeonjun. he makes me want to slap him for being so foolish.

2015, July, 4

That didn’t go as planned. (Y/N) shouted at me and kicked her out of her house. She seems to think I don’t like her anymore; I suppose that’s what I get for trying to push us away from each other. I knew what I was doing, it was selfish. All because I can’t handle her… she doesn’t deserve this. I’m sorry (Y/N), I’ll make it up to you.

2015, July, 18

Yeonjun wouldn’t leave me alone, so we are friends again. He would just appear every day and try and get me to hang out with him. Hed refuse to leave unless we did something. At first, he’d settle for a conversation, then he wanted to hang out for an hour minimum, then he’d want to watch a movie, then go shopping, next thing I knew I’d fallen into his trap. I forgave him. I feel like I wasted my summer being lonely and mad at Yeonjun, is this seriously what my life has boiled down to?

2015, July, 20

We are finally friends again, she told me to come over tonight. I DIDN’T HAVE TO JUST ARRIVE, SHE TOLD ME TO COME OVER. She has never in her life done that. Breaking news if you ask me.

I think her parents invited me around for dinner really, but oh well, I’ll take what I can get.

I hope I can spend the rest of the summer making her happy, she’s started laughing with and at me again recently, I’ve never been happier to hear a sound in my life.

2015, August, 28

Me and Yeonjun have officially enrolled in college, we’ve gone to all the events and met people at induction. Someone even approached me to have a conversation, that was nice. At first, I thought she wanted to speak to Yeonjun, that’s what normally happens, but she didn’t. she told me I had a nice outfit and asked me what I’d be studying. We spoke for a while. Turned out she was a fashion and design student. She asked for my number and jokingly saved it as ‘my future model’. It was really flattering for a pretty girl to say I was model worthy, especially when I’ve never heard a compliment like that from anyone other than my parents.

I’m starting to think college won’t be so bad after all, I think I’m excited now.

2015, August, 28

I don’t want to be that friend… but that girl was hardcore flirting with (Y/N) …. IN FRONT OF ME!!!! How absurd!!!

‘’your outfit is so stylish and looks so pretty, just like you. Wow you should be a model’’!

HAHA

I already knew all these things! (Y/N) is my model… please find your own. I wanted to pull (Y/N) away from her so badly. Why couldn’t I be happy that she was making friends? I want to be, but I can’t. I don’t want to go to college anymore. The world is going to discover (Y/N), and she seems ready this time… she won’t just sit in the library…. Fuck.

Her mum’s diary cuts off there and turns into letters she wrote to herself and Yeonjun, but she never sent them to him, meanwhile his stays as a diary. It’s a good thing her mum dated each one or the story would have to end here.

2015, September, 1

Dear me,

Today was the first day of college. My stomach is knotted with anxiety. I’ll make friends won’t i? I became friends with Layla over the holiday. She’s so interesting, fun and so cool, she reminds me of Yeonjun. She’s such an it girl! Yeonjun says my outfits are cooler since I started hanging out with her. If they are better, why does he seem frustrated? Odd boy.

Class was excellent, I spent the lesson talking about art with people who love art. I found out artistic people are weird, just like me! Yeonjun seemed disgusted by the idea of a room full of Me, rude!

Yeonjun already has a following. I didn’t recognise any people from secondary. He’s already part of a big group. He ask if I’d like to sit with them, but I said I’d rather sit with Layla. He seemed disappointed, but oh well. I’m not like him, I don’t thrive in big groups, i feel most comfortable with a few close friends.

Layla always wants to talk about Yeonjun? Does she have a crush on him?! That would be kinda gross! Why would girls be attracted to him? He’s… Poop-Jun after all.

I have a few questions for myself next month…

Is Yeonjun popular yet?

Does Layla have a crush on Yeonjun?

Have you made more friends?

Do you like your art course?

Did you and Layla go shopping like you planned?

Do you hate it here?

Are… you and Yeonjun still friends?

2015, September, 1

First day of school was easy peasy. I loved having to do nothing but what I love doing. The only thing I don’t love is Layla, she’s been hogging (Y/N), and she knows it. Me and her have beef, seriously. She has been hanging out with (Y/N) ever since they met, and when they aren’t hanging out, they are messaging. (Y/N) says Layla reminds her of me… personally I've never wanted to throw up more. She has nowhere near as much style as I do, and she clings to (Y/N) unreasonably. I have my reasons!!! She’s been my best friend since we were 6, be for real!!!! Me and her AREN’T the same!!

2015, October, 1

Dear future me,

I’ve officially been in college for one month. Let me answer the questions of the previous letter…

Of course, Yeonjun is popular now! Everyone who knows him, loves him. I’ve decided to avoid him in the halls, so I don’t have to deal with the mess that is people saying hi to him or crowding him.

Does Layla have a crush on Yeonjun? It appears not. Since I stopped hanging out with him at school she’s stopped discussing him. That’s good, I don’t want her to like Yeonjun. I refuse to have my friends dating!!!

Yes! I have made friends! Layla and I are in a group of roughly 8, which seemed large in the beginning, but it’s not. Some are friends she brought to the group, and others are friends I made. We are all really creative and it's exciting! We inspire each other to be more imaginative!!

I love my art course; all I do is talk, learn about, and create art! It’s my dream course. It is intricate and sometimes difficult work, but I’m willing to invest into it because I love it.

Layla and I recently went shopping with the rest of our friends. We got the train to the nearest city, with new shops, it was so thrilling. I’ve never done something like that before, it was exciting, trying new styles, chatting! Yeonjun saw the pictures all over my social media. He was jealous we didn’t do things like that. But he hasn’t ever ask…

Nope, I don’t hate it at college. And why would I?! I can leave the college on my breaks, can GO TO THE TOILET WHEN I WANT, I feel like the master of my destiny!

Yes, Yeonjun does speak to me. He will run past me in the corridors sometimes and shout a greeting, but then he’s gone like lightning. We will sometimes sit together if we are both on break and I’m not with my friends. He loves looking at my artwork, especially since I often draw and paint him. It’s definitely strokes that ego…

2015, October, 28

There is a party for Halloween, and I didn’t even have to convince (Y/N) to go, because guess what, Layla and her are going!! They will even be matching!! I saw her outfit, she’s an angel, and Layla will be a devil. How basic… (Y/N) pulled it off though. She looked incredible; I can’t even lie this time. When she showed me, I thought she was beautiful, and I just couldn’t believe that she’s the girl that collected rocks…

Wait… if I thought she was beautiful and I’m her best friend, what will other guys think? No! No, this can’t happen. I can’t have them looking at her, I have to come up with a plan. Hopefully she’ll get drunk and return to my side, she does that when she’s drunk.

2015, November, 1

Dear future me,

Never drink that much again. I think I spilt my drink on this random girl, and I remember her crying? Yeonjun said he helped her out though… What does that even mean?! Wait… did he lose his jacket last night? He gave her his jacket, didn’t he!! That was a cool jacket, how dare he waste it on fixing my mistakes!

I don’t remember how I found Yeonjun, I was with Layla at first. But it reached a point where I just couldn’t keep up and I needed to find familiarity. I think I saw him standing near the fish tank, talking to four guys. I’m not sure how many, it’s blurry in my memory. Omg, memories keep bobbing up like apples. I remember falling against one of his friends and Yeonjun clutching me towards him. He said something to his friends and held me against his chest as he finished his conversation, his heart beat was comforting. I remember mumbling sorry for interrupting.

after he sobered me up a little, he took me home. I remember he helped me to my bed and tucked me in. He whispered ‘’good night’’ before he left… how embarrassing!

2015, November, 1

Why is it always the Halloween parties? God, she looked so perfect… I thought I couldn’t breathe when I saw her dancing with her friends in the corner of my eye. My friends didn’t even wait to make fun of me, they knew what was up. ‘’Yeonjun, she won’t disappear. You can look away from her’’. I knew that I could, but I didn’t want to. If I did would someone take her from me? I did though, I looked away and left her. I even moved room so I could have my own fun.

She took me by surprise when she came over to me, tripping over her feet and falling against my friend, who caught her in his arms and smiled down at her. Oh, hell no, not those two. Anyone but him (Y/N), please…

I grabbed her from his arms and held her against my chest, my hand rested on her lower back and her head pushed against me. There was no way we didn’t look like a clingy couple like this… but it was fine, just for tonight.

‘’You didn’t need to snatch her from me mate. I know she’s yours’’. That’s what he said, and I scoffed at him and asked what he meant. He told me ‘’We all know you like her, so we won’t touch her… everyone knows’’. He was being ridiculous, ‘’I don’t like her’’ I told him. And he said the worst thing I could’ve imagined ‘’Well, in that case, I’ll ask her out on a date. She’s too pretty to pass up’’. I laughed at his joke because it must have been one right. No way he’d say that to me, her best friend, seriously right…

When I got her home, she was clinging to me, and once I peeled her off and got her in bed. She asked me to stay and hold her. I thought about it, but I knew what the right decision was. I didn’t respond to her, I tucked her covers over her and told her goodnight. Why is it always Halloween?

2015, December, 1

Dear me,

Yeonjun has been annoying recently. He keeps running past me at college and ruffling my hair or scaring me. It's so annoying, especially when he messes up my hair because it’s always when I made an extra effort. Can’t he just keep his hands to himself? How annoying! Sorry, I’ve said annoying one too many times, clearly thinking about it makes me so frustrated I repeat myself!

And do you know what’s worse, when I shout at him after he’s finished, and in response guess what he does… he spins as he runs and winks, then he continues running out of view. That man! How dare he be so careless… I hope he runs into a wall one day!!

Art classes aren’t as much fun now, it’s already starting to feel like a chore, so I need to find something interesting to do for my project this year or I’ll get bored. Please future me, please… save me from tedium…

2015, December, 11

(Y/N) is only getting prettier and making my heart flutter endlessly. She walks down the corridors with the prettiest smile, books under her arm because they are too big for her bag, and the most beautifully curled hair. What other choice do I have? I run past her a ruffle it up so it’s not as good every time. She doesn’t need to look pretty for anyone else now, I've already seen her. Did I like her? No, of course not! I just care about her! I just don’t want other guys to like, her, doesn’t that make sense? I’m just trying to protect her…

2016, January, 1

Dear future me,

I’ve saved art for us… are you thankful? Well maybe Yeonjun did, but that isn’t important… You know how he always gives me a rock at Christmas time, a small painted rock, as testament to our childhood. Well, I’ve decided to finally start painting rocks. When I told my lecturer, she suggested I make a project out of it. I’m enjoying it immensely, and I have developed a whole plan. I have a question… did you tell Yeonjun? And did he act big-headed about assissting you with the concept? I bet he did…

Yeonjun wrote me a letter this Christmas, so I’ll put it with this one. It was simply beautiful, so emotion, it made me cry. I didn’t want him to see me teary eyed. He mentioned the magnet thing his mum would say when we were younger. I agree with him, we are magnets opposite poles attracting, and I think we are so powerful we can’t be separated.

He brought me an art easel and some canvases for at home, I was grateful. I didn’t write him a letter for Christmas, so I’m going to write him one soon and give it to him. I don’t want him to think I’m a bad friend. I think I’ll probably paint my parents, beautiful flowers, and a nearby lake that Yeonjun keeps dragging me to. I’ve drawn enough of Yeonjun that I could honestly go my whole life without ever painting him again.

Dear (Y/N),

First of all, Merry Christmas! I’m glad it’s another one together we get to add to the stack of them. How many has it been now? 11? That’s a lot… I’ve known you for more than half my life, isn’t that crazy? I hope that never changes. Can you stay by my side until we are old and wrinkly? I don’t think I want to ever stop being your friend. I don’t think I could at this point.

Recently I’ve seen you change so much, and all because we went to college. I heard people bloom at some point in their life, and I think I got to see you bloom. Do you know how incredible it was? I was scared at first, I didn't want you to get hurt and scarred by the world. I know you’ve always hidden yourself, and I was happy to protect you. But you didn’t want me to this year, did you? So, I let you bloom and now I look at you and I no longer see the girl who collected rocks as a child… I think it makes me sad in a way. I now see the girl who parties and paints, isn’t that a weird duo?

Just like us, no? When I was a child, my mum called us magnets, that were pushed the wrong way together. But now a days I think we are pushed the right way together; I think we click. Did you know it’s difficult to separate magnets, especially strong ones.

Merry Christmas (Y/N), I hope you have a lovely day!

2016, January, 15

Music classes are awesome, I made my own song recently. The lecturer says I’m above the expected level for my age, and that my song is full of emotion. Well duh, it's about her… Yeah, I did that. I can’t think of anything else but her, it’s so stupid. When she’s sat alone, I ditch my friends to sit with her, she probably wanted me to. That's what I tell myself, but who am I kidding? I desperately wanted to talk to her. Please save me, I can’t do this anymore.

2016, February, 1

Dear me,

I told Yeonjun about my idea when he saw it. I stayed in class later than I had to, so I could focus on my project, when he came to find me. He sat down next to me, chin in his hand, and asked why I was painting rocks. He shuffled through the notes and sketches I had on the desk. It didn’t take him long to realise, so I explained my plan.

My project is to bring colour back to my otherwise dull world. Nature is intrinsically beautiful, and I love capturing it any way I can. By decorating the rocks and placing them back where they belong, I add a bit of my beauty to the world. The plan is to distribute the rocks to my favourite places once I’m done with the project. I'll then paint some of the rocks in their location, for the final piece.

To answer my own questions. No Yeonjun didn’t get a big head like you thought he would, he seemed really joyful. In fact, he took me for ice cream when he found out… how odd. But I had fun.

2016, February, 14

I want to throw up. It’s Valentine’s Day, and MY FRIEND gave (Y/N) roses. I saw him do it. She was sitting there, pretty pink dress on because she wanted to wear a romantic colour today, hair in space buns like a cutie, and he walked up to her with the flowers behind his back. It’s like everything went in slow motion and I was given the chance to stop it, but I didn’t. He spoke to her, and she smiled, then he gave her the flowers, she turned the same colour as them. He gave her a note and she smiled again, and he walked away. I didn’t take my eyes off her as she put the letter straight into her bag, not even reading it first.

When she looked up and saw me, she giggled and waved the flowers like an accomplishment. I would’ve been happy if I didn’t like her… that’s right, I have a crush on her. Now I know why they call it a crush. It’s not for a good reason, it’s because it crushes you. I thought it was because you have a crush, and when you finally get the girl, you crush the silly feelings, and it turns into love. I was wrong.

If I ever see those flowers in a vase in her room, I think I’ll throw up… there goes the plan I made for her… I'll slip it here, so I never have to look at it again.

VALENTINES DAY <3 OPERATION CRUSH

1. Buy flowers – her favourites, tulips, not roses, that’s basic - done

2. Get her favourite snacks - done!

3. Download her favourite movies onto my laptop – done!

4. Build the den – done!

5. Decorate den – done!

6. Pack your bag full of the bits you’ll need – done!

7. Get her to come with you – to be done!

8. Success – no

9. Is she your girlfriend? – never

2016, March, 1

Dear me,

Yeonjun has been clinging to me like never before. He sits with me all the time, at school, at home and when we go out. I think we are conjoined at the hip. It’s kind of funny, in a babyish way.

He’s been weird with me ever since his friend asked me out, I told him no, but we became friends. It’s weird how that works… I did try and give him a chance, but I didn’t like him that way. I didn’t even feel anything, it felt dull. I felt bad, but I told him no, not that I told Yeonjun. It isn’t his business, if I’m honest. If Layla wanted to date him, the bile would rise from my stomach. Two of my friends dating, that is just a no. Maybe I should let him know so he relaxes. Maybe then he’ll leave my side… but it’s fun having him around.

2016, March, 17

Is it possible to love being around the one that broke your heart?

Am I really in love with her?

How to tell her I love her?

That’s what my search history looks like nowadays because nobody prepares you to feel this, or how to even deal with it. growing up I couldn’t imagine loving (Y/N), it was the wildest, most far-fetched thing ever. But as I read my diaries from those days and think about how I treated and thought about her, it’s obvious, I’ve had a crush on her forever. The only reason I didn’t notice was because I thought it was the normal feeling of liking a close friend. Why did it take me so long to notice? So long that now other guys like her as well. I don’t even have a chance anymore… who would’ve thought… certainly not me… I love the one girl who has never liked me…. How sad.

2016, April, 1

My project is nearly done. As I was resting today, Yeonjun flew into my room, not even knocking, as usual. Whenever he needed someone to check his music or dance, he’d come rushing over to my house, straight into my room. ‘’Listen to it!’’ he said sitting down on my bed, to which I said the only words that I could think ‘’Knock’’, and he nodded, both of us knowing he would most definitely not knock.

I listened to it, it was delicate, so emotive, and knowing Yeonjun’s created it, was even better. It was better than that! It was perfect, stupid talented boy. As I looked at my phone, I realised I had to go, it was nearly time for the call. ‘’Yeah, it's amazing Jjunie, can you go now? I’m busy’’.

He huffed at me, as if not believing I could be busy ‘’doing fucking what, you were in bed on your phone!’’. When I told him I was going to call a friend he whined about it being our thing, so I told him it wasn’t ‘’You practically living in my house is our thing’, Now get out he’s waiting for me’’.

The mere idea of a male wanting to speak to me clearly disgusted him because he burst ‘’HE??? I THOUGHT YOU WERE ONLY FRIENDS WITH GIRLS’’. I decided then that I shouldn’t tell him it was his friend I was about to call. ‘’ I have both Yeonjun, now get out before I hit you’’. He pouted at me like a baby, ‘’Fine, I get that I’m being replaced, I’ll go’’.

I watched him leave my room, then I watched him enter his own house and his bedroom light turn on from my window. I then called his friend, and we called for a few hours. It was 11 pm when I looked back out my window and Yeonjun’s lights were off. Yeonjun’s light is always on till at least 1 a.m. What was he doing?

I didn’t do anything to upset him, did I? I didn’t do anything wrong, did I?

2016, April, 1

I’m being replaced. I didn’t know a crush could turn into something worse, is there even a verb that can describe this feeling? Maybe instead of a crush, I have a pulverize… that seems right. My heart feels pulverized. Do you want to know why?

Well because (Y/N) kicked me out of her house to call a guy. I have never been kicked out of her house because of someone else like that. Not even Layla. If they called, I'd just sit in the room. why in the world would she kick me out for a different guy?

I feel sick… is that the remnants of my heart trying to escape my body? Should I swallow it or let it out? Is there any point in keeping the slivers of it? When I looked out my window I could see her, she left her curtains wide open again, and I could see as her serious face lifted into a bright smile. She was laughing at his jokes… and all I could do was watch. Do I do this to myself?

I can’t watch anymore… I can’t feel like this again. I’ll go to the only friend I can think of…

2016, May, 1

Dear future me,

Is Yeonjun still ignoring us? He hasn’t spoken to me in school, he hasn’t come to my house… what is happening? Why is he ignoring me? I hope he has a good reason because I don’t like how this feels.

Everything is endlessly dull without him. Where is the colour I love? He made everything so much brighter, more exciting…. Did I just say that I loved the colour, and then suggest that Yeonjun was in fact the colour to my world…. Yes, I did.

Am I in love with Yeonjun?

Holy fuck, I think I love Yeonjun. is this the feeling inside of me? The warmth and light when I’m close to him and the cold dusk when I’m apart from him. Oh god, I really love him… don’t I? Fuck… how did this happen? When did this happen? This year? I’m not sure…

What am I going to do?

2016, April, 16

Is it better if I keep ignoring her? She seems ridiculously sad nowadays. She doesn’t stay in school any longer than she has to. Can I reach out and hug her? Or will she push me away. She probably will, she has other friends now.

I must be a speck of dust in the vast landscape that is her world. I float by, annoying her for a while then I get forced to move along by this force, its wind to a dust, but to me, I’m not sure. What pushed me away from her? Is it possible that by turning my back to her I pushed the same poles of our magnet together? Is it possible that I am the force that’s keeping me from her? If she turns her back as well, does that mean we click again? Maybe I should spin around and confess how I feel. But after all…. I’m just dust.

2016, May, 1

I have a plan. I’m going to get Yeonjun back and make him mine all at the same time. I can’t survive much longer away from him. This feeling is devouring me.

The next stage of my project will arrive in a few days, that’s when I put the rocks in my favourite places. There is a heart rock I found as a child, I named him Yeonjun, and I’ve painted it! Its finally time to return it to my favourite place. I’ll write a letter for him and put the rock at the bottom, buried under colourful paper.

If this doesn’t tell him how I feel I’m not really sure what will. This was the perfect idea, and it linked up so magnificently.

2016, May, 21

I’m so in love with her. You’ll never guess what she did… it was incredible. Like a scene from a movie, or a storybook. She’s so perfect.

After a long day at college, doing my final performance for my exam I came home, just to find her sitting on my bed. I hadn’t spoken to her or been to her house in months. I was so scared to talk to her that I instantly spewed out the first thing she always tells me ‘’What happened to knocking?’’. She shrugged her shoulders with a giggle ‘’I will next time’’. I knew it was a tease at me for never knocking and never learning how. ‘’touché… what brings you to my house, you prefer your house’’.

She deadpanned me at my words and spoke ‘’You don’t come over anymore’’.

‘’You don’t invite me’’, that’s what I said! Could I really not think of a better excuse!!! ‘’I’ve never had to before’’ she countered, and to that I only made up mor lies to hide my feelings ‘’I finally clicked that you didn’t want me around’’.

She huffed at me’’ why would you even think that?’’. I shrugged at her and sat down next to her, trying to peak at what was behind her back, but I couldn’t even see because it was in a box, cutely wrapped like the Christmas gifts she gives me. She stood up and spoke ‘’I’m going to leave this here. You decide if you should start coming back over to my house once you’ve seen it’’. I grabbed her hand as she tried to leave ‘’Don’t be suspicious, just tell me’’. She giggled and squeezed my hand then let go ‘’nope, it’s something you should do alone’’.

The second she was out of my door, I reached for the box and when I opened it, I saw a letter, so I read it, I’ll put it with this one, so I never lose it. once I had read it, I put my hand into the tissue and pulled out a beautifully painted rock. Fuck… she’s incredible. It wasn’t any old rock; it was the one I’d found for her when we were children and I’d sneakily given it to her. I saw her painting it a few months ago for her project, and I knew she was planning on returning them to her favourite places…. I just never knew that would be me. I thought I wanted to cry right then and there.

I knew I had to chase after her, but was straight away to soon? It might have seemed a bit desperate, but I was. My pulverise needed to leave me alone that instant and turn into never ending love for her. Like I originally thought a crush was….

I ran to her house and the second I got into her room, I pulled her into my arms, hugging her as tightly as I could now that I knew she loved me back. I told her how I felt in a single whisper ‘’ I love you too’’ and that’s when she said it back ‘’I love you Poop-Jun’’. Any other situation I’d hate the stupid name, but this time it was almost adorable, it was perfect. She knew it as well.

I asked her the question ‘’will you be my girlfriend’’… and that’s why I know have a girlfriend. Isn’t that’s awesome. The perfect girl you’ve had a crush on forever, is finally your girlfriend. Future me, please keep her happy, and stay together till you are old and wrinkly.

Dearest Yeonjun,

I’ve met many people in my life; good people and bad. No one has ever captured my heart so completely. When I look at you, you appear to glow with a glittering aura. Everything else fades into a grey background without you, as if you have stolen the colour from my world and taken it with you. I need you by my side, Yeonjun.

Those times you would run past me at college, would make heart flutters, and butterflies swirl with delight. And rage with violent anger! You make me feel so many things, but even that’s better than dull and emotionless.

I know all kinds of things about you. All different things. Like the lake you visit when you're feeling lost. You’d found it on a walk one day, and showed it to me the next. Remember? I had never expected you to come across something so captivating, but of course you had. You always make my soul shimmer.

When my eyes laid sight on the golden sun, glistening on the blue hue of the lake, I felt the familiar surge of inspiration, like a guitar melody in one of your songs. When I turned to you, you were transfixed on the lake, so peaceful, enjoying the moment. Did you realise I stole that moment, imortalising you on my page as you drifted, weightlessly into your own reality. That mere drawing is the most honest representation of you. I’ve never told you, but you are the reason I fell in love with art in the first place, I wanted a way to treasure you. Yeonjun, you are a work of art to me.

I like being with you. I try to sit next to you as much as I can. I find myself staring at you all the time. I want to always be with you. And I can’t help myself.

These special moments just between us. You are my light, shining in my world, you ease the sadness. As overwhelming as the loneliness but as soft as cherry blossom, this feeling is as strange as it is new! I guess you can only call it love.

I find myself counting the days we’ve been apart. Longing, with one wish, only to see you again. I want you, I wonder, hopeful, if you feel the same. Thoughts of you fill me, I need you beside me, always.

When I feel the loneliness will consume me, I think about the moments we’ve shared, the Christmas joy, my rocks, and your music. Years ago a beautiful heart-shaped rock greeted me at the gates of my house, and when I gazed up I saw you staring back at me. From that moment I decided I’d call the rock Yeonjun, just like Small Sam had a name. I’ve wondered all these years, if you hid the heart rock for me to find. To me, it became a symbol of our friendship, our changing relationship, our blossoming love.

For my project you know I was painting rocks to return them to my favourite places, and this one is for you, Yeonjun. Because you, and everything you mean to me, is my favourite place. Isn’t it fitting that the rock I found that day, is the rock I return to you? Please accept it, along with my heart.

I love you

“Awwwww… mum fell harder!!! That’s so sweet. He was ready to give up on her but she made the move that he couldn’t! I can’t wait to tease them about this!” Their daughter giggled, packing the pages back away where they belong. Their youth… oh how magical it was.

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melancholy-of-nadia · 1 year

Text

love u lately #3 (m) | myg/knj/pjm

teaser: love u lately #3 (m) chapter title: #3 - pears pairing: yoongi x f. reader, namjoon x f. reader, jimin x f. reader (yoonminjoon x f. reader) rating/genre: m (18+) ; smut ; college/university au , pseudo frat! bts; best friends! yoonminjoon to lovers; summary: you continue your entanglement with yoongi despite jimin's suspicions of him. however, when you end up being in a group project with jimin and having a heart-to-heart moment with Namjoon, you realize there may be more to what your heart may want. warnings: suspicious jimin, brief but word heavy study session bc this is a college au, pining, verbal argument which includes yelling, awkward tension, break up?, jealousy, namjoon and jimin making you have mixed feelings?, a little bit of angst!! notes: s/o to @daegudrama for editing as always for editing! word count: 7.3k drop date: october 9th, 2023, 4:30pm pst cross posted on ao3 here ← #2 | Series Masterlist | #4 → October 10 - Wednesday

Two days have passed since the secret arrangement between you and Yoongi was set in motion.

The atmosphere is charged with unspoken tension, Yoongi's touch lingering a second longer than usual, his neediness veiled under the guise of casual affection.

This subtle transformation extends beyond the private moments you two shared days ago; it starts to seep into your daily life at the house.

Yesterday evening, as you helped Jin prepare taco Tuesday for the group, you felt Yoongi's presence behind you. His fingers brushed against yours as you reached for the spices in the cabinet, sending a jolt of awareness through you. It was as if he couldn't resist being near you, even in the midst of mundane tasks.

"Need any help with dinner?" he murmurs, his warm breath grazing your ear as he leans in closer. His voice holds a hint of playfulness, but his eyes bore a depth of longing.

You smile, turning to face him, your eyes meeting his dark, intense gaze. "I've got it, but thanks Yoongs." You keep your tone light, aware of the prying eyes of the other housemates.

After dinner, you, Jimin, and Taehyung gather in the living room, opting to binge-watch "The End of the F***ing World." Yoongi's behavior continues to be noticeably different. He suddenly takes a seat next to you on the couch to join the watch party too. His arm casually drapes over the backrest, unconsciously brushing against your shoulders. It's a small gesture, but it sends a shiver down your spine.

Jimin, who sits on the adjacent couch, can't help but notice the subtle touches and glances exchanged between you and Yoongi. His normally cheerful demeanor is marred by a hint of jealousy that he struggles to conceal. He has known you both for years, and this newfound and sudden closeness raises questions he can't ignore.

His suspicions and worries only worsen this morning when he overhears Taehyung talking with Hoseok about how Yoongi has been acting differently since they got home on Saturday. Initially he thinks he's overthinking. If everyone else is starting to notice these patterns too, he must indeed not be overthinking/making things up.

"Hey, Hoseok hyung, have you noticed that Yoongi's been acting weird lately?" Taehyung's voice carries a tone of concern as he leans against the doorframe of Hoseok's room.

Hoseok looks up from his phone, eyebrow raised.

"Weird how?"

The fluffy haired boy fidgets, his fingers tracing patterns on the doorframe.

"I don't know, he’s been out of his room more often these last few days…and he’s been less grouchy…” Taehyung pauses before he exclaims his next observation. “He’s also been receiving my hugs without struggling out of my arms!"

Hoseok giggles, gaze softening as he puts his phone down. "I don’t know, Tae. Some of that sounds like usual Yoongi behavior. Maybe something good happened to him lately? I know he’s been working on dropping a SoundCloud mixtape."

"Yeah, but it's been going on for a few days now. There’s the breakfast feast we all walked into on Saturday? Who was that food for when we were all gone except–" Taehyung pauses his words, eyes boring into the older man’s, waiting for him to catch on.

Hoseok's lips quirk into a knowing smile. "Ah, I see what you're getting at. You think Yoongi’s dating someone?"

Taehyung shrugs, a mix of curiosity and concern in his expression. "I think he’s dating HER.” He emphasizes, eyes widening so Hoseok catches the additional hint. “I know him and Honey have been best friends since they were kids...but it would make sense. She’s beautiful.” He scans the area discreetly, trying to make sure no one else is hearing this conversation being spoken. “I thought Jimin liked her too, but he’s always with different people. Irene is the longest relationship he’s had."

Hoseok chuckles, memories of the past resurfacing. "True, true. But we shouldn't jump to conclusions. Let's give Yoongi the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he’s been in a better mood because of his music."

“Funny how Yoongi hyung’s doing better than Namjoon hyung…what even happened while we were gone on Friday.” Taehyung muses, his tone laced with intrigue.

Jimin, who had overheard their conversation while hiding behind the hallway wall, decides to walk toward them and chime in. "I heard you calling me?" he says, a curious lilt in his voice as he steps out.

Hoseok and Taehyung's eyes widen in fear, caught off guard by Jimin's unexpected presence. The room seems to hang in tense silence for a moment as they exchange uneasy glances, their words now exposed to a prying third party who is more than interested in their observations.

Hoseok exchanges a quick, apprehensive glance with Taehyung. The realization that Jimin had overheard their conversation is undeniable, and there is no way to backtrack now.

Jimin, with a faint hint of suspicion in his eyes, takes a step closer. "What were you two talking about?" he asks, his tone carefully neutral.

Taehyung's usually jovial demeanor falters for a moment, but he quickly regains his composure. "Just some house stuff, you know, the usual," he replies with a forced smile.

Hoseok nods in agreement, though his eyes dart nervously between Jimin and Taehyung. "Yeah, nothing important," he adds, his tone shaky.

Jimin, however, is not easily convinced. His instincts tell him there is more to the conversation than they are letting on. "It didn't sound like 'house stuff' to me," he says, a note of determination in his voice.

Taehyung and Hoseok exchange another anxious look. They know they can't keep the truth from Jimin forever, especially with the mounting evidence of Yoongi's unusual behavior.

Finally, Taehyung sighs, relenting as he knows he can't lie to his closest bud in the house. "Okay, Jimin, you got us. We were just talking about how Yoongi's been acting differently lately. I believe he might be dating someone."

Jimin's brows furrow, a mixture of surprise and unease crossing his features. "Dating someone? Yoongi?" he muses aloud, his mind racing to process this confirming his earlier suspicions. It isn't the conclusion he wanted to reach, but it certainly explains the changes he has observed since Saturday. Though from what he heard before he made his existence to the two men known, he doubts that you would be the one dating Yoongi. There’s just no way he’d do that.

Taehyung nods, offering a reassuring smile. "Yeah, but we're not sure. It's just a hunch!"

Hoseok chimes in, "We didn't want to jump to conclusions without more evidence."

Jimin's gaze remains fixed on the two of them, his thoughts whirling. He had suspected something was going on between you and Yoongi with the way he's been behaving around you. A mix of emotions swirl within him, including his growing jealousy he is struggling to suppress.

+++++++++++++++++

On this particular Wednesday, you find yourself in your marketing class alongside Hwasa, Seokjin, and Jimin. The four of you sit clustered together, engaged in a conversation about the marketing team term project that Professor Sui has announced. It consists of a comprehensive 10-page paper and a short yet cohesive presentation that summarizes the main points of the paper.

As you are about to chime in with your idea for the project, Matthew Kim slides into the empty seat at your table, flashing a charismatic smile that has earned him his reputation as a campus party enthusiast. His sudden presence is met with a mixture of surprise and curiosity from your group.

"Hey y’all!" he greets cheerily, leaning back in his chair. "Mind if I hop on this team?"

Seokjin exchanges glances with the rest of the team, gauging their reactions. Hwasa offers a friendly nod, while Jimin seems intrigued but cautious. You, on the other hand, welcome the idea with a genuine smile. "Of course, Matthew! We'd be glad to have you. We're just discussing potential topics for our marketing project."

Matthew's eyes light up with enthusiasm. "Sounds gucci! So, what's the company we're tackling?" He looks over your laptop screens to see what notes you have gathered so far.

You lean forward, confident in your choice. "Well, first I thought about how In-N-Out obviously has a dedicated fan base that swears by their menu items. Also, their menu is pretty simple, focused on fresh ingredients, and the whole 'secret menu' thing creates a sense of exclusivity. Plus, they don't invest heavily in traditional advertising, relying more on word-of-mouth and their loyal customer base. That's pretty uncommon in the fast-food industry."

Suddenly, Jimin chimes in, his peppy voice brimming. "And! Let's not forget their limited presence. They're mostly on the West Coast, which makes their expansion strategy intriguing. We could explore how they maintain such a strong brand in a relatively small area?"

Silence hangs in the air for a few heartbeats, each second stretching into an eternity. Doubt creeps in, and you wonder if pitching In-N-Out is a terrible idea after all. It's undeniably unconventional, and for a moment, you question whether opting for a well-known giant like Disney or McDonald's might have been the safer route. Just as you're on the verge of retracting your proposal, Seokjin, with a glint of excitement in his eyes, lets out a hearty chuckle. "Well, well, I’ve never seen the two of you so eager for a project. In-N-Out it is!"

Your eyes widen in pleasant surprise. You hadn't expected your sunbae to embrace the project topic so readily. A collective laugh ripples through the group, your cheeks flushing with a mix of relief and embarrassment. You turn to look at Jimin, finding warmth and fondness in his gaze.

In moments like these, you remember that Jimin is the one who often champions your spontaneous ideas, acting as the magnet that draws everyone else into your orbit. Like when you both proposed the wild race to lose your virginity before the end of high school, successfully roping Namjoon and Yoongi into your shenanigans. Ironically, it was also like that time you wanted In-N-Out after receiving your disastrous Calculus midterm grade last Spring semester. Jimin had begged Jin to borrow his sleek black Audi RS to take you for a vanilla milkshake and animal-style fries, to which he surprisingly agreed. It ended up with Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin cheering you up with your comfort food at 12am. These memories weigh on your conscience, especially now that you have chosen to have a secretive situationship with Yoongi, hiding it from everyone, especially Jimin.

You're brought back to the surface from your dulling thoughts when you hear Hwasa calling out to you to ask when you’ll be free tonight to work on researching information with the team.

"Oh, I don't have any evening classes, so I'm free when–" You pause, a realization dawning as you remember your work-study responsibilities to cover your tuition. "Wait, I was supposed to work in the library this evening, but I'll ask if Soyoon could cover for me." You pull out your phone and click on her contact to text her your request. Soyoon is another friend in your small female friend group that you met through this work-study program. She is typically handling morning shifts on Thursdays, so swapping shifts tonight seems feasible, unless she has plans.

Hwasa nods, her enthusiasm undiminished. "Sure, babes. I'll schedule one of the study rooms in the business building so we can meet up later. Does 7:30 sound good, boys?"

Matthew, Seokjin, and Jimin nod in agreement, ready to commit to the plan. Not long after, Soyoon replies to you with ‘no worries, i got you!’ text with a blushing smile emoji next to it. I guess that settles the group project plans for night, you think to yourself.

As you look around at your friends, you can't shake the feeling of guilt for keeping your situationship with Yoongi hidden. The complexities of your relationships within the group are becoming increasingly tangled, and you wonder how much longer you can keep your secret concealed.

++++++++

The night settles in, casting a soft, dim glow over the campus as you arrive at the business school building just a tad earlier than the agreed-upon time. The hallway outside is mostly deserted, however, there are still some students in night classes and some sitting around and studying along the lit corridor. With a bag of snacks in one hand and your determination in the other, you quietly approach the designated study room Hwasa reserved.

As you push open the door at 7:15, the room is bathed in the muted, warm light of a single desk lamp, and you are surprised to find Jimin already here. He meticulously arranges a selection of drinks on the table, their labels glistening as they catch the light. His eyes light up as you enter, a warm smile spreading across his face.

"Hey," he greets, his voice angelic and inviting. "I thought I'd get here early to help set up. Hope you don't mind."

You return his smile, a sense of gratitude welling up within you. You're not too surprised he also showed up with snacks. "Not at all, Jimin. Thanks for coming early. I brought some snacks too."

Jimin's gaze drifts to the snacks you have placed on the table, and he chuckles. "Great minds do think alike, huh?" he remarks, his eyes crinkling with amusement.

You take a seat next to Jimin, the atmosphere in the room cozy and welcoming. The study room has a serene ambiance, the faint hum of the air conditioning creating a soothing background noise.

"It seems that way," you reply, your heart warmed by the camaraderie between you two.

He gestures to the drinks he has laid out. "I grabbed a few drinks for us. Yerba Mate, water, and some green tea. I remember you like the Bluephoria Yerba Mate." He grabs the can and hands it out to you.

You can't help but be touched by his thoughtfulness. "You have a good memory, Mimi. Thanks for remembering."

He flashes a playful grin. "Of course, how could I ever forget your favorite, Darling?"

As you settle in, his eyes meet yours, and for a moment, the world outside fades away. Jimin has always been known for his exceptional memory when it comes to your favorite snacks. It's a skill he has honed over the years, driven by his desire to make you smile. Even before your current situationship with Yoongi, Jimin has often been the one to make snack runs, returning with an assortment of treats to share with everyone in the house or the dorms, especially during the intense periods of midterms and finals.

Whether it's your favorite Yerba Mate, a bag of kettle-cooked sea salt & vinegar chips, or that one obscure dark chocolate bar you can't resist, Jimin has an uncanny ability to remember the details of your cravings. It's a gesture that hasn't gone unnoticed throughout the time you've known him.

Yoongi, too, has a knack for remembering your snack preferences, although he displays it in his own, quieter way. He might not be as vocal about it as Jimin, but he will often surprise you with your favorite snack tucked away in your bag or on your desk when you least expect it. His actions speak volumes, a subtle way of showing that he cares and pays attention to the little things that make you happy.

In those moments, whether it's Jimin's boisterous enthusiasm or Yoongi's quiet consideration, you feel truly cherished by these two men. Namjoon is a bit different from the two, though.

Not long after, Seokjin, Hwasa, and Matthew start coming into the study room, their faces lighting up with excitement as they see the assortment of snacks presented on the table for their indulgence. The room buzzes with anticipation, and you can't help but chuckle at their reactions.

Seokjin, who has a penchant for indulging in snacks during late-night study sessions, immediately gravitates toward the shrimp chips and reaches for a handful. "Honey, you got these? Ah, you've got the good stuff here I see," he exclaims, a grin forming as he settles into his seat.

Hwasa, equally pleased with the snack selection, joins him, her eyes alight with enthusiasm. "Our Honey sure knows how to make our study session so much better," she declares, her fingers dancing over the bags of chips and cookies.

Matthew also looks pleasantly surprised by the spread. "Wow, you guys really know how to set up a study session. I'm impressed, not gonna lie," he admits, picking out a bag of gummy candies. “I’m gonna make sure Y/N and Jimin are always on my team for group projects for every class I end up with them.” The group bursts out with laughter while you and Jimin look on with satisfaction with your efforts to make everyone feel at home.

With snacks in hand and laptops opened, the group gets down to business. The atmosphere shifts from casual camaraderie to focused determination as you delve into the research on In-N-Out. Your laptop screens illuminate the room as you pull up relevant articles, statistics, and marketing strategies.

"Alright, let's talk about In-N-Out's competitors," Seokjin suggests, leaning back in his chair. "We've got the big players like McDonald's, Burger King, and Wendy's. But what sets In-N-Out apart?"

"Their simple menu and focus on fresh ingredients definitely gives them an edge. Plus, they've maintained a loyal customer base for years." Hwasa chimes in, pulling up some articles from Business Insider.

Jimin adds, "And their annual earnings are impressive too. I’m looking at their earnings report from 2017, they reportedly made over $800 million. Not bad for a regional chain."

Matthew, who is flipping through some notes on his tablet, pipes up, "Okay y’all, but isn't it strange that they don't heavily promote themselves? I was looking this up before they got here and they rely a lot on word-of-mouth."

Jin nods in agreement, his mouth full of chips as he chimes in, "And their refusal to expand too quickly, even when they could, keeps that exclusivity intact. It's like a club that everyone wants to join, but they have to wait in line."

You giggle, nodding in agreement, "Exactly. It's like they're intentionally keeping a sense of exclusivity around their brand… while also lightly promoting it with their In-N-Out T-Shirts and stickers."

As you speak, Jin jots down some notes onto the Google slides, "Let's make sure we highlight these points in the paper. It's all about understanding their unique selling points."

Jimin, who has been intently focused on his own research, lifts his head from his laptop and puts it on your shoulder as if it were the most natural thing in the world. It's a gesture that has happened countless times before during study sessions, but tonight, it feels different, and you can't quite put your finger on why.

"Y/N," Jimin says, his voice soft as he snuggles against your shoulder. "You should look into researching competitor menus and their pricing. That's a critical point."

You glance down at Jimin, his proximity a mix of comfort and unease. It's as though he's seeking solace in your presence, a subtle shift in the dynamics between you two. His eyes meet yours briefly, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken tension that has been growing since the arrangement with Yoongi began. Maybe this tension has always been there, and it wasn’t until Hwasa opened Pandora’s box that you started to become more conscious and self-aware of these behaviors. Maybe the lack of touch since your last relationship ended as well as the combination of what felt like Namjoon’s betrayal has made you deluded with these thoughts.

As the group continues discussing the PowerPoint structure and the resources they are consulting, you can't help but wonder about Jimin's intimate actions.

++++++

It's around 9:45 when you guys decide to call it a night and head back to your respective homes. Hwasa and Matthew head over in different directions, and you’re left with the two men. You walk alongside Jin and Jimin, who are engaged in a conversation about playing Team Fight Tactics. It feels like the first time in forever that Irene isn't mentioned in conversation, despite Jimin dating her. After noticing his subtle changes in behavior, you can't help but wonder if something might have happened between them too. He seems like he might be getting burnt out from dating a sorority girl, though Irene is far from the first one. You aren't sure why he keeps doing this to himself expecting a different result. However, not wanting to sour the mood, you decide to hold off on asking him about it. Seokjin and Jimin share a grin as they delve into a conversation about Team Fight Tactics.

"You know, Jimin, I've been practicing my TFT strategy. I'm basically a tactical genius now." Seokjin, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, leans in to say to the younger.

Jimin chuckles, his competitive spirit ignited. "Oh really, Jin? I'd like to see that. Last time I checked, you were still trying to figure out how to combine items."

The older man waves a dismissive hand. "Minor details, my friend. I've unlocked a secret tactic – I call it the 'Lose First, Win Later' strategy. It's all about keeping the element of surprise."

Jimin raises an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "Lose first? Isn't the goal to win?"

Seokjin nods sagely. "Ah, but see, when you consistently lose in the early rounds, your opponents underestimate you. Then, when they least expect it, I unleash my secret weapon– the level two Vayne!"

Jimin bursts into laughter. "Level two Vayne? Maybe I’m underestimating you, Kappa Psi Pi President Kim."

Seokjin grins proudly. "You'll see, Jimin. Soon, I'll be climbing the TFT ranks and taking over the leaderboards. Just you wait!"

Their banter continues, filled with laughter and warmth. This feels just like normal, you think to yourself. It feels like before the breakdown you had on Friday and spending the night with Yoongi. It feels like before Namjoon started getting closer with Jihyo through their shared major classes. It feels like before Taehyung convinced Jimin to go on a double date which led him to date Irene. What went wrong? Yoongi’s question from Friday night surfaces again, hidden from the haze of your feelings that night. Are you in love with one of them…or all of them? Or is there something more that you still haven’t realized at this point in time.

You find yourself falling behind, lost in thought as you are about to approach the crosswalk off campus and reach home. The burden of unspoken secrets and shifting dynamics within your group weighs on your mind. You walk at a slower pace, the distance between you and your friends growing.

Noticing your lagging steps, Jimin suddenly stops mid-sentence and turns around, a playful grin on his face. He hurries back toward you and, without missing a beat, links his arm through yours. His touch is warm and familiar, a comforting reminder of the deep connection you share.

"Hey there, slowpoke," Jimin teases, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

You laugh, the tension that had been building within you slowly dissipating. "Sorry, just got lost in thought for a moment."

Seokjin glances back and notices Jimin linking arms together with you. He shakes his head, a fond smile on his face. "You two are still just like kids!" he remarks, his voice carrying a mixture of affection and amusement. Jimin rushes with you across the crosswalk before the crosswalk light countdown reaches 1.

“Gotta make sure my darling doesn’t get lost because she’s tiny!” Jimin and you exchange a knowing glance, the unspoken history between you evident in your eyes. It's a history filled with shared laughter, secrets, and a bond that time and circumstance have failed to break.

You and Jimin walk alongside each other, arm in arm, the night air feeling a bit lighter with each step. The camaraderie between you two is a reassuring presence, a buffer against the uncertainties of your group's dynamics.

As you approach the corner of the street leading to your house, the distant sound of raised voices begins to reach your ears. The voices are filled with emotion, carrying an unmistakable tension and turmoil.

“You're clearly not all in for me so what’s the point of all this?” one voice exclaims, a rawness in the tone that's impossible to ignore.

Jimin furrows his brow, concern etched across his face. He tightens his grip on your arm, pulling you closer as the shouting persists in the distance. You exchange a worried glance, a silent agreement passing between you both to investigate the source of the commotion. Ahead of you, Seokjin decides to take the lead, guiding you and Jimin as you round the corner of the street. What you come upon leaves you both utterly stunned.

Namjoon and Jihyo arguing right outside the front door of the house.

The tension in the air thickens as Jihyo's words hang heavily between them. Namjoon, his voice laced with desperation, tries to salvage the situation.

"No, you've got this all wrong," he pleads, his eyes filled with sincerity. "I like you, Jihyo, a lot more than the words I can verbalize right now. So don't do this."

Jihyo's expression remains hardened, her resolve unyielding. "I don't care what Shakespearean bullshit you want to say," she retorts, her voice trembling with a mix of anger and hurt. "Because I know that what you said while you were drunk on Friday, is what you truly feel."

Seokjin, Jimin and you open the front gate, catching the attention of the two.

Jihyo's words hang in the air, heavy with emotion and finality. The intensity of their argument seems to dissipate as she turns her attention to the arrival of Seokjin, Jimin, and you. Her anger momentarily softens into a weary resignation, and she sighs, her gaze shifting from Namjoon to the three of you. "Looks like we have an audience now, so I'm just gonna go," she says, her voice weary, her eyes flickering briefly in your direction. It's the first time you've seen her beauty up close, and it strikes you how different she appears from her usual calm and collected demeanor. It's as if she shattered into a hundred pieces before your eyes.

With a final glance at Namjoon, Jihyo imparts a parting message, one that holds both concern and a touch of forgiveness. "I'm gonna say this as your friend," she begins, her voice softening, "get your shit sorted out before you end up hurting anyone else. And I'm sorry I had to end it this way, but despite it all, I'm rooting for you. Goodbye Joon."

With those words, Jihyo walks away, leaving Namjoon standing there, a mixture of regret and longing in his eyes. The weight of their argument and its implications lingers in the air, a reminder of the complexities of relationships and the consequences of words spoken in moments of vulnerability.

Seokjin, Jimin, and you exchange a knowing glance, understanding the depth of what just transpired. Namjoon stands there, lost in thought and motionless, as the arguing and Jihyo's departure sinks in. The shadows of regret and turmoil play across his face, leaving him seemingly paralyzed by the emotions swirling within.

Finally, he breaks the silence with a heavy sigh, his voice filled with a mix of exhaustion and uncertainty. "I... I need to go, clear my head or something," he mumbles, his words lacking the usual confidence that characterizes him.

Before anyone can respond, he rushes past Seokjin, slightly pushing him in his haste. The push sets off a chain reaction, and you find yourself being pushed by Jimin in the process. The abruptness of it all leaves you and your friends looking at each other with concern, the tension in the air almost palpable, and excruciating

You decide to let go of Jimin's arm, hand him your backpack, with determination in your eyes as you speak up. "I'm going to go after him," you announce, your voice resolute.

Seokjin furrows his brow, concern etched across his features. "Is that the best thing you can do right now?" he asks, voicing the apprehension that hangs in the air.

Jimin looks down briefly before meeting your gaze with unwavering trust in his eyes. "I think this is something only she can do at this moment," he says, his voice steady. "Namjoon's known her the longest. I think her presence might ease him."

You agree. You’ve been with him each of the times that he was doing unwell or struggling, managing to get him out of his depressive state with your existence. It shouldn’t be any different now. With those words of encouragement from Jimin, you set off after Namjoon, the echoes of Jihyo's parting words still resonating in your mind.

From inside the house, Yoongi looks out the window with jealousy running through his veins. He balls his left fist and pushes his hair back from frustration. He knows he shouldn’t be feeling this way because you two are still friends. He was a few seconds from considering going out there earlier to prevent Namjoon from fighting with Jihyo, but decided against it. It felt like some sort of betrayal knowing how you felt towards Joon on Friday and how you wanted to see him face the consequences of his actions, but you ended up going after him without a second thought. He is confused on how he should feel about this and whether he made a mistake as he let his feelings get in the way of his actions.

Jungkook approaches the window, his gaze fixed on Yoongi, and then your figure gradually fading into the distance. He sighs softly, a sense of resignation washing over him.

Meanwhile, Seokjin and Jimin decide to head inside, entering the house to find the rest of the boys in a somber mood following the recent events outside. Yoongi, in particular, appears disheartened. He shakes his head and goes to lay down on the couch, lifting his arm to cover his eyes, appearing to sulk. Jin joins him on the couch, taking out his phone to play Maple Story to occupy himself. Jimin places your bag down on the couch and glances over at Yoongi, puzzled by his sudden mood shift. His thoughts briefly wander to the rumored girlfriend that the other guys had been talking about earlier in the day. But why now? A nagging feeling lingers—what if it is actually about you? He contemplates whether or not to broach the subject with elder man.

Just then, Jungkook approaches Jimin, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and inviting him to join him in the kitchen. He mentions that he had prepared perilla oil spicy makguksu earlier that evening and wanted Jimin to taste his new recipe. He agrees and walks over, finding Taehyung eating straight from the pot and playfully scolds him as Jungkook laughs.

Meanwhile, Seokjin glances at Yoongi and offers a sympathetic ear. "If you ever want to talk about what's bothering you," he says quietly, "just know that I'm the trustworthy type. I'll keep my lips sealed, unlike some of the other blabbermouths in this house. You know that, right?"

Yoongi lift his arm away and turns his gaze toward Jin, his internal struggle evident on his face as he contemplates how to respond.

++++++

"Kim Namjoon, wait!" you call out, your voice cutting through the night air. Your heart is pounding as you chase after him, determined to catch up before he disappears into the darkness.

The campus is quiet, with only a few lingering students strolling about. Namjoon continues his brisk pace in the direction of the campus gym, seemingly intent on finding solace in a late-night workout to clear his mind.

Your desperation grows as you realize that he might be slipping away, and you can't bear the thought of letting him face his turmoil alone. You groan in frustration and, fueled by a surge of determination, you rush forward and tackle him from behind, clinging to him like a koala.

Namjoon stumbles in surprise, his eyes widening as he registers your unexpected presence. He tries to shake you off, but you hold on stubbornly, your heart racing.

"We need to talk, seriously," you plead, your voice trembling with urgency.

Namjoon takes a deep breath, his tense shoulders slowly relaxing as he agrees. "Okay, okay, just please get off, and we can go find a place to talk."

Your grip on him loosens, and you cautiously climb off his back. "You promise this isn't an excuse to run off without me, right?" you ask, a hint of worry and aggression in your voice.

Namjoon lifts his hand, forming it into a pinky promise. "I promise I'm not gonna do that," he reassures you.

With a sigh of relief, you gently climb off his back. Together, you start walking toward the campus soccer field, where the night is quiet and serene. Namjoon takes off his gray hoodie and lays it on the grass before you sit down, offering it as a makeshift cushion to make you more comfortable. As you settle onto the grass, you can't help but steal a glance at Namjoon. He's wearing a black tank top that showcases his well-defined muscles, a stark contrast to the more reserved freshman you once knew. He looks pretty good.

You both sit in silence, the cool night air enveloping you as you give Namjoon the space he needs to open up. You can see the stress in his eyes, the pain of the argument etched on his face.

Finally, Namjoon breaks the silence, his voice heavy with regret. "She broke up with me."

You nod, your sympathy evident as you motion your hands, gesturing to his distraught expression. "I see that," you say bluntly, allowing him to continue at his own pace.

"We were only sleeping with each other for a bit," Namjoon begins, his voice wavering slightly, "but we were thinking about making it more serious." He pauses, collecting his thoughts. "And then I said something Friday night and completely fucked things up for us."

"What did you say?"

Namjoon sighs loudly, the memory clearly painful as he rubs his face in frustration. "I can't even remember, I was so drunk. This happened on Friday."

"Friday..." you murmur, your mind racing as you recall the events of that particular evening. Memories start to piece together, especially the growing worries and the sight of Namjoon making out with Jihyo at the Gamma Omega Tau party. It was the night that had led to your emotional breakdown and your impulsive decision to sleep with Yoongi.

Then it hits you—the realization that Namjoon was supposed to be at the house that night because you and Yoongi had gotten "sexiled" and sent to do game night elsewhere. But when you had returned, in your tipsy and aroused state, he was nowhere to be found. Not even hours later, as you and Yoongi got lost in the moment. It was something you had completely forgotten about, but now it seemed crucial.

"Wait," you say slowly, connecting the dots, "Friday night... you were supposed to be at the house that night, right?"

Namjoon's eyes widen as he comprehends the implication of your question. The pieces of the puzzle start to come together, and you both realize that things could have ended disastrously if he had indeed shown up as originally planned.

"Yeah, but I ended up sleeping on the couch at Jihyo’s place... by myself," he admits, his voice filled with regret. "Chaeyoung and Nayeon wanted to kick me out, but Jihyo was nice enough to let me stay there. I didn't deserve her kindness."

Understanding dawns as the pieces of the puzzle fall into place. "Oh," you say softly, realizing how the series of events had unfolded. You had also forgotten that Jihyo was in the Professional Kappa Psi Pi frat and lived with some of the girls too.

Namjoon continues, his voice laced with self-blame. "And you saw me come back on Saturday morning with Hope, who should've been gone until Sunday. I called him, and he brought me back home out of concern."

You nod, encouraging him to share more.

"So overall, this is just a consequence of my own actions," Namjoon concludes, a heavy sigh escaping his lips. "I can't even be mad at her; she didn't do anything wrong."

The tension of Namjoon's guilt and self-realization fills the quiet night. It's clear that he's grappling with the consequences of his choices and how they've led to the dissolution of his budding relationship with Jihyo. Despite whatever frustration and angst you felt that night, you still empathize with Namjoon and his situation.

You take a moment to choose your words carefully, wanting to offer Namjoon support and guidance in this difficult time. Finally, you speak with a gentle but firm tone.

"Namjoon, we all make mistakes," you word out, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "What's important now is that you've recognized your part in this and that you're willing to learn from it. That's a sign of growth and maturity."

Namjoon looks at you, his expression a mix of gratitude and remorse.

"You can't change the past," you continue, "What’s said has been done, but you can control how you move forward from here. Take this as an opportunity to work on yourself, to become a better person. And remember, it's okay to lean on us for support when you need it."

He nods, and a faint smile tugs at the corners of his lips.

"As for Jihyo," you add, “she may have left, but she did leave you with some insight on what you can do. So listen to that." Namjoon's gaze becomes more determined, and he nods once more, this time with a sense of purpose.

As your words of encouragement hang in the air, he reaches out and gently places a hand on your shoulder, his way of silently thanking you for your support.

But then, to your surprise, he suddenly pulls you towards him, wrapping his arms around you in a tight, warm embrace. It's an unexpected gesture, and you find yourself pressed against his chest, your head nestled against his shoulder. The emotions in that moment are overwhelming. There's a deep sense of intimacy felt in this moment compared to any other hugs you share in the past. The tension that had been building during your conversation seems to melt away, replaced by a profound connection that transcends words.

"I thought you didn't like hugs, Mr. Kim 'I hate being tangled in limbs' Namjoon," you tease gently, trying to break the heaviness of the moment.

Namjoon's voice is dulcet as he replies, "Just this once, I feel like I needed it." He lets out a heavy sigh, his warm breath grazing your neck like a gentle breeze as he utters, "I miss the old days, when we were still kids and didn't have all this drama and shit." You respond with a soft hum, sharing his sentiment. In that moment, you both long for the simplicity of the past, when life wasn't complicated by tangled emotions and the confusing dynamics that had developed among your closest friends. It's times like these when you find yourself wishing for a return to the days when you didn't have to grapple with the complex web of feelings for your guy best friends. And right now, it's Yoongi who has navigating through a sea of emotions and uncertainty. With that damn question he asked you on that night!

“Me too.”

As he holds you close, you can feel the steady rise and fall of his chest with each breath, a reminder of the very real, very human experience you both share. It's a moment of vulnerability and comfort, where your own concerns and secrets seem to momentarily fade into the background.

The night air around you feels cooler, but within the circle of Namjoon's embrace, you find warmth and solace. It's as if, for that brief moment, the world and its complexities cease to exist, leaving only the two of you, bound together by friendship and shared trials.

Eventually, you both pull away, the unspoken connection between you lingering in the air. Namjoon offers a small, appreciative smile, and you return it with one of your own. Namjoon's voice breaks the momentary silence, his words soft and contemplative. "I think we should go back," he suggests, his gaze meeting yours.

You nod in agreement, recognizing that it's time to return to the house, to your friends, and to the challenges and uncertainties that await. Rising to your feet, you brush off any blades of grass clinging to your clothes, and Namjoon retrieves his hoodie from the grass where he had laid it.

Together, you make your way back towards the main campus and the familiar path that leads to your shared home. The night air feels a bit lighter now, as if the weight of the conversation has been partially lifted.

+++

As you lie in bed, struggling to fall asleep amid the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions from the evening, your phone suddenly buzzes with a text message. You groggily reach for it, blinking away the sleep from your eyes.

It's a group chat message called NO JIMIN, and you see that it includes everyone in the house, except Jimin. The topic of conversation catches your attention immediately—it's about Jimin's upcoming birthday on Saturday. Somehow, the date had slipped past your mind in the midst of everything that had been happening. The boys wanted to have a party at the house. It has been awhile since a party was held at the Beta Tau Sigma household. Last time it happened, it was Jungkook’s birthday, a little over a month ago. It was a fairly small party, with nothing too eventful taking place. Well if you don’t count Taehyung and Jimin playing strip poker while getting too wasted. Jin and Yoongi really had to calm them down before they were entirely naked and having their dicks out for everyone to see. About a week after, it was Namjoon’s birthday. Though, he opted for the whole house going to celebrate at Baekjeong with KBBQ and going clubbing after at HARU. He did not want to deal with another party crisis at the house.

As you scroll through the chat, Taehyung emerges as the main organizer of the party, and he's already divvying up responsibilities among the housemates. Your eyes scan the messages, and then your heart skips a beat as you see your name mentioned, followed by the assignment he has given you.

Tae: We need this party for Jimin to be lit! Jin: Taehyung, I've got the food prep covered, so don't you worry about that.

Hoseok: I'll be the official DJ for the night, so get ready for some sick beats!! Beta Tau Sigma is BACK!

Hoseok: I'm bringing Matthew's DJ equipment over too, and we'll have the dance floor bumping!

Jungkook: Tae, I'll help out with the drinks and bartending! I’ve been told i make great drinks. Yoongi: I can handle working the drinks too, but just a heads up, I might be enjoying them a bit too much. Jungkook: LMAO, hyung I think it’s better if you handle something else. Also can someone make sure to buy enough alc options? Namjoon: I can drop by the liquor store on friday Tae: I also need you some of y’all to help clean around the house.

Tae: Hey Honey!

Tae: You and Yoongi are in charge of buying and setting up the decorations for Jimin's birthday party. Sound good?

You: Okie dokie! Yoongi: [thumbs up] Tae: Perfect! This is gonna be a night to remember. Let's give Jimin the best birthday ever! 🎂🎈🎁

You: We got this, guys! Jimin's gonna love it! 🥳🥂

As you send the message, your worries dull for a bit. Maybe this could be a chance for Namjoon to cheer up after the break-up, and make whatever growing tension less awkward. You looked forward to this night with determination, however you feared that what was to come would probably entangle you deeper into chaos with your best friends.

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foundry-fabrications · 2 years

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Happy Halloween everyone! It's that time of the year again and that means it's spooky project time! Those who have been with me for a while know that every year for Halloween I put out some big thematic project for my favorite holiday. For this year, I wanted to keep the rework train going and rework a previous year's project. And that project is my Corpseweaver class!

Before we get started I just want to take a second to shout-out @dm-clockwork-dragon and his Necroficer class, which helped inspire many aspects of my own take on the "Frankenstein-ing" monsters together concept.

I also want to mention that I still have a huge GDrive folder of 100+ creepy creatures and malign monsters pulled from across the internet to inspire your own amalgams!

In a way I got lucky this year. I started reworking my corpseweaver MONTHS ago so I already had a lot of it done. I was hoping to have the basics done in time for a campaign I was going to be in but time got away from me and I ended up playing something else so I've just been slowly working on it over time. Before October even began the entire base class and one of the subclasses were mechanically done, which left only two more subclasses to finish and I needed to rewrite all the fluff text which was honestly pretty cringeworthy in my opinion.

So what are all the changes? IT'S A LOT! I reworked how the class collects resources and the amalgam creation system completely from the ground up. The old systems were overly complicated and REALLY bookkeepy so I simplified them. Now you get Flesh, Bone, and Exotic from creatures and you use those in specified amounts to make amalgams and make alterations. The system for doing so has been greatly streamlined. Now you have a dedicated stat block that all amalgams are based on and that gets modified throughout the creation process.

Another major change is that the base class is no longer a spellcaster, so all those features have been moved to a subclass of their own, the Skaab Scribe. I didn't like how based in normal magic the old class was as I always wanted it to be more focused on mad science, alchemical formulas, and occult ritual.

And one of the last huge changes is that the Soma Smith has been removed from the class completely and will likely never return, though the name does live on as the Fleshwarper has been renamed. As much as I liked the idea of the old soma smith, I felt that it didn't fit the class upon further examination. Its whole deal was about creating new life basically from scratch and that's not what I want this class to be about. That's actually a theme that I kept seeing in the flavor text throughout the class as I've been working on it, creating new life, and it's a goal of mine to remove it wherever possible. The class does not create life, it reanimates the dead, and in my mind those are very different things.

So yeah, on that note those are the biggest changes but obviously everything got touched in some way. As with many of my reworks, this one is an overhaul on a grand scale, and one I'm honestly quite proud of.

As for the updated aesthetics, however, I have mixed feelings. Overall I think they fit the class much better than the default theme I was using before but there's a lot of visual jank that I'm not a fan of. I also would have liked to use better artwork but I had so little time to finish this as it is. I was also forced into using GM Binder for this project instead of Homebrewery because the theme I chose doesn't work with HB very well so that was less than ideal. For smaller projects it's not a big deal but for something this huge all the weird little issues I have with GMB start to compound and get frustrating. It's not a system I like but it has its uses sometimes.

Enjoy my work? Consider leaving me a Tip or supporting me on Patreon! Patrons gain access to high quality PDFs for all of my content, weekly updates, early access, and more!

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project-sekai-facts · 11 months

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thinking about it stresses me out and i can't explain it well but making the world link events take up an entire event slot instead of it running alongside a different event is such a horrible idea imo, especially if it takes this month's lim banner entirely. and i think it's impossible considering vbs's one is in january and there's the new years fes anyways? unless they make new years perm again like in 2021 but it's going to be so fucking annoying and predictable for any fan that's been waiting for a lim for a while, especially vsers because it basically confirms that the devs STILL aren't treating them like the actual characters and putting them in events with the ocs (let alone having to wait until AUGUST for more fucking lims, yea like we need another fucking one-year gap /s). its genuinely irritating for me if they end up deciding that and not making next event lim. plus it makes the next event from now only six days considering this gacha ends October 31st, and with the event gap, the event has to end November 5th or 6th. and this wl event lasts 12 days and no event has lasted either of those lengths in jp (not to mention the weird fucking chapter-by-chapter thing going on?). sorry for acting angry but i really am disappointed if this ends up being the case without any fucking warning it makes no sense!

yeah the WL event just feels like it needs some work. obviously this is the first one so there's gonna be some problems here and there but this feels like it's pretty messily put together, even for a first run. i understand it taking an event slot because otherwise you'd have to tier two separate events at the same time and that'd just be difficult, but just the sheer amount of time it takes up is too much. maybe shorten the chapters to 2 days from 3, 12 days is too long. it's just gonna be really draining and a pain in the ass to tier, plus it makes the event before it really short. like seriously, 7 days for the MMJ event? i mean the current event is only 8 but normally cheerful carnivals last about 10 because of the format. i mean MMJ wouldn't perform as well as a N25 banner anyway so maybe they're just throwing the 7 day event on them for testing purposes.

since VBS is directly after new year colofes+lims I'm guessing WL lims don't count as actual lims. maybe they don't have hairstyles, i mean they said about MR2 unlocking special cut-ins, so maybe they do that instead of hairstyles. i wonder if they'll be like a bday card where they have their own rarity or something because if the game is willing to run them directly after a fes banner they can't be all that rare? maybe they reappear on future WL events like how all fes cards are on every colofes banner.

i get the feeling that the WL event won't have a specific character focus. they didn't announce a song other than the 3rd anniversary campaign one, so unless they're deciding to count that as Kanade's 4th comm then it doesn't look like this has a specific focus. well, apparently each part of the event/story is focused on a different character so that makes sense I guess. also the 3rd anni campaign commissions are meant to release monthly, and these events are getting dragged out until well past when all unit will've gotten their comm.

i think a lot of adjustments are gonna have to be made to the event starting from the VBS one. like the whole thing feels messy right now. and maybe it's because they haven't really told us a whole lot about how it works still, but there's obvious problems from the get-go like the duration and the amount of gacha cards on top of the fact they're now rerunning 3 lim gachas at a time. how badly does this game want our money they earn way more than any other idol game on the market.

#asks #mod talks #can the game give len a lim on an actual unit banner also

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unnamed-underachiver · 2 months

Text

002: He's Real!?

An illusion. A misrepresentation of a 'real' sensory stimulus—that is, an interpretation that contradicts objective 'reality' or, something his mind just made up.

For the last three years that's just what Achilles thought of the silver haired man.

Three years ago, after Achilles roughly sculpted the face of the man that was staring at him, he looked up but he never saw him again. He looked around the room but even a glimpse of his shadow couldn't be seen.

Achilles burned the face in his memories, perhaps it was his brain trying to help him escape from his anxiety and panic attack that it made a unique and beautiful figure that he still vividly remembers to this very day.

Nethertheless, Achilles was thankful for the fact that seeing those silver strands and ruby-like eyes made him sculpt more.

Today is a special day.

Three years later, on a very windy day in October he held his first ever personal art exhibit.

He's made many creations these past few years, but the main one at the very end of the second floor held a special meaning in his heart, he stood to stare at the 156 bust sculptures of the the man he saw on this very day three years ago.

It represented the weeks that went by, the time it took to finish them all. At the very middle of all the sculpture, the one in the middle was painted, that one is the very first sculpture he made of him.

"Mr. Ekholm, shall I tell them to start letting people in?" Helen— his curator, approached Achilles as he was lost in thought.

He looked behind him to nod at Helen, she briefly bowed to him and walked away.

Achilles looked down to look at the title of the artwork,

Tre År av Tyst Längtan (Three Years of Silent Longing)

The illusion, the fragment of his imagination, and his muse. Achilles never named the man in his mind. But he was sure that for as long as he's alive, he would not stop making these sculptures.

~•~

In his circle, Achilles is known to be quiet and shy, that's why people only looked at him from behind as he explores his own exhibition.

"He's such a talented sculptor, but I didn't know he could paint so well!"

"Even his brush strokes feel cleaner than my life."

"Woah he only made this in two days!? How does he even sleep?"

Murmurs swirling with one another, and the same piercing gaze, the only difference is that he's not holding his chisel and hammer, otherwise the feeling he's feeling right now is very similar to what he felt three years ago.

His footsteps led him back to the end of the second floor, and he looked at Tre År av Tyst Längtan.

The onlookers were reading the description of the artwork at the side and he couldn't help but listen to what they were talking about.

"'To the man I saw back then'? Huh? Mr. Ekholm has a lover?"

"I don't think so, see 'Tyst Längtan' means 'Silent Longing', if they were lovers why would he be silent?"

"I see, then it is a one sided attraction."

"Could be, but for the last three years no one has ever seen Mr. Ekholm in public, how could he even have the time to meet with anyone?"

"That's true! All of the artworks that are shown here are all created in the last three years!"

"What!? Seriously!?"

"Yeah!"

"Then could it be that this man is a manifestation of his hallucinations?"

"I think so— HUP!"

The murmurs stopped and the people around him audibly gasped.

Achilles stopped observing with his peripheral when he noticed that most of the people are looking at his direction.

That was weird.

He'd been standing here for a long time, and people ignored his presence and kept talking about him, so he wondered why would they stop talking about him now.

"I-Isn't that..."

"So he did have a lover?"

"Gasp!"

The whispers were quiet, as if scared they would wake up a sleeping tiger.

Achilles furrowed his eyebrows. He really doesn't understand why everyone was acting like this.

Despite Achilles' anxiety and fear of being in the spotlight, despite knowing that everyone is staring at his direction, he turned around.

Right in front of him, he saw a pair of fancy oxford shoes. He could almost see his own reflection due to how shiny they were. As he slowly looked up, black pants with silver stripes greeted him.

'Wah he has long legs.'

He commented in his mind as he continues to slowly look up, and see the man's face.

"Ah..."

Achilles quietly yelped, it felt like his eyes were deceiving him, was he dreaming? He couldn't even pinch himself, he couldn't close his mouth that opened on its own, he couldn't move.

Tall, dark and stern, with his hair gleaming like silver strands and his eyes that looked like fiery rubies, it was the man in his delusions.

"You're... real?" He weakly muttured.

The red eyes observed him for a moment as it slowly looked around. Achilles could've sworn he heard the man say 'Fucking hell' but Achilles could no longer trust his own senses.

Now that Achilles thinks about it, he looks like a stalker!

Three years of not seeing each other, yet, he's made over a 100 sculptures of a man he only saw once to the point he even thought the man was an illusion.

"Uhm... I—"

As Achilles was about to explain himself the man turned and started walking away.

Achilles dazedly watched.

'Not again...'

This time, Achilles doesn't want to let the man go.

Despite only taking a few steps, the man, towering at over two meters tall, had already crossed the room with long, deliberate strides. Achilles wants to catch up but the first step is always the hardest, he clenched his teeth and with heavy footsteps, Achilles ran to the best of his abilities to catch up to him.

"W-Wait..." He let out a whisper that almost sounded like a plead.

But the silver haired man continued to walk, undeterred, going down the staircase, Achilles, with axiety and panic, ran after him, stumbling and almost tripping with the sudden movement. The gap between them seemed to stretch and shrink with each breath, but the man seemed to not care.

Achilles doesn't even know what to say, 'I'm sorry I made more than a 100 sculptures of you'? 'I didn't know you were real'? Every possible explanation sounded like an excuse, Achilles is certain the man thinks of him as a creepy weirdo!

'Why is he so fast!?'

The silver haired man already reached the bottom of the staircase while Achilles was only halfway down.

Achilles complained in his mind, but the man was already at the exit.

'Stupid, weak body! Why didn't I work out more!?'

His legs felt as heavy as lead, but he pushed through. The man opened the door and was already a step outside,

"Wait!" With a coarse voice, Achilles shouted at the top of his lungs, his voice echoed throughout the hall but at this moment he could not care less.

The man's hand that was on the glass door paused for a moment, the world felt like it was on pause, Achilles ran, closing the distance until he finally caught up to him to grab his wrist.

"Huff, huff..."

Achilles couldn't even believe that he actually caught him

Standing in the middle of the exit, with sweat dripping all over his forhead, Achilles looked up.

Red eyes and thick brows greeted him with annoyance.

This was it— the moment of truth. Who is he, and why is he constantly in Achilles' mind. Numerous questions popped up in his head, but while panting, Achilles could only mutter one word, "Name."

The man held the glass door with one hand as he slowly turned to Achilles, looked at his wrist, and pulled, causing Achilles to tumble and let go.

"Ah!"

The man turned and ignored Achilles and left.

Achilles felt stupid.

The only time he chose to wear shorts, and he falls down to his knees.

He can hear people gasp around him, as he looked down.

The stinging feeling of his scraped knees burned.

But Achilles couldn't even feel the pain.

There was only one thing in his mind,

He's real.

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trashcandroid · 11 months

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another october 13, another year on T (3 total now!). but this one’s special since it’s a super spooky FRIDAY october 13. more random stuff about it under the cut

part of the reason i chose october 13 to start T is because it was soon after i got my prescription, it would be a tuesday (thought it would be funny to have T days be on Tuesdays) , and because at some point it would be a super spoopy friday october 13. i looked up when it would be a friday and saw it would be in THREE WHOLE YEARS. i would have graduated college by then! and then… who knows what i would be doing??

turns out i’m doing even more school for the next probably five or six years. it’s refreshing to only be around people who really just see you as A Guy. i don’t think they even suspect i’m trans (or most of them anyway) since i’ve had quite a few conversations where they definitely would have asked if they thought so. a few of them i remember off the top of my head:

someone was asking if people had partners and i said yes (…i mean, i sorta do, don’t really wanna get into it here lol). she asked me if they were a boy or a girl and i said neither. she then kept trying to find out what they were really and seemed to be a little disappointed when i wouldn’t tell her. (to be fair, she was pretty drunk and actually passed out later that night… but that also means she totally would have asked me if i was trans if she thought so)

this same person also asked me earlier if i was bi (for some reason she was asking everyone that), then when i said no she asked if i was straight (no) or gay (no). this led to me telling another guy that i was ace and aro, and he asked a bunch of weird questions about it lol (i gave him permission to since i was wondering what questions you would even have about that, seems straight forward to me??). but no questions about being trans

oh yeah, this same guy showed my openly trans friend who was visiting some trans memes he had saved (his gf is trans). but he didn’t show them to me 🤨

ok one last one. another guy was talking about how he was thinking about joining an lgbt group here, but had felt kind of left out and different at the one he went to before. i said i felt the same (true). he got happy that i could relate and said, in a relatable tone, “yeah, they’re mostly trans and non-binary people there so i didn’t really fit in!” i hope i didn’t mislead him into thinking i was gay lol

i also joined an ace aro group which has been pretty chill. at least half the people there are non-binary and i have no idea if they think i’m trans or not. i’m guessing no..? or they’re being decent and not just asking

i never thought i’d be stealth but it’s actually so nice being around people who don’t give your gender a second thought. i did experience that in my band and in my last two years of college (well, stuff happened at the end of my third year that made me freak out for all of my senior year… which you can read about in the previous one of these lol) but the anxiety that everyone is just being nice has always been in the back of my mind. but all these small interactions seem to indicate that these people just genuinely think i’m a regular guy

ANYWAY. IN OTHER NEWS. since i have student insurance that covers 100% of the cost of medical transition stuff, i decided i could finally pursue top surgery! i already have the consult scheduled for early next year, and if the timeline is similar to what they said on the phone, i could have it done by the end of next semester! possibly even before my birthday? but depending on the available dates i might postpone til after finals. (on the plus side, those should really be the final finals i’ll ever have to take.)

i also got my passport updated with the correct name and gender marker. now i just need to update my birth certificate and that’ll be everything

despite lots of other shitty things going on in my life right now, i actually feel really positive about where things are going in terms of my transition. i can look at my face in the mirror and just see me. i can be around people who just see me. i don’t have to be around family members who mess up pronouns or awkwardly stumble around sentences to avoid using pronouns for me at all. i can just exist.

#mine #fr though every time i get upset about my chest i can remind myself it’ll be gone in half a year #i’ve kinda been binding a dangerous amount for the past few... years i guess at this point… BUT SOON…..

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watchmenanon · 2 years

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Let's Hear It for the Boy: Finn Wolfhard

from STATUS Magazine August 2017 feat. Finn Wolfhard and Noah Schnapp

by STATUS Magazine

While some kids hide underneath their blankets once they discover the monsters underneath their beds, Finn Wolfhard didn't need a lot of growing up before he decided to face them himself. Sure, the underground creatures he takes on are a bit fictional, but the young actor is braving the real world with promise and precision.

It’s not that hard to be smitten with Finn Wolfhard.

Just like the characters that he portrays, he’s a charming young boy who views the world with eyes of wonder and excitement. At 14 years old, he’s already been in two huge thriller franchises that most kids his age wouldn’t even dare to watch. He first hit our frequencies last year starring in Stranger Things as the determined leader of the pack, Mike Wheeler. The series might’ve catapulted his career, but his love for the craft has been keeping him grounded. “The only thing that’s different now is that I get stopped on the street for pictures and have a lot followers on social media, but that never changed my personality or anything. I’m just happy to be an actor in general,” he adds. Making his way from Hawkins, Indiana to Derry, Maine, he’s also set to star in the upcoming movie adaptation of Stephen King’s horror classic It as the buck-toothed goon Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier. While both involve a plot where children mysteriously go missing, we’ve found ourselves a star in Finn Wolfhard. He’s definitely got the “It” factor, and there’s nothing strange about that.

Despite being a middle-schooler, Finn is wasting no time kidding around. Although it seems like he’s shaping up to be sci-fi’s It-boy, he’s been gradually showing different sides of himself. When he’s not busy slaying strange creatures and dancing clowns, Finn can be seen shredding his bass and guitar, and he’s got an impeccable taste to match the skill he’s been refining. His covers of Mac DeMarco and Nirvana have been circulating across the Internet, in addition to the buzz he’s been creating with his band Calpurnia–and it doesn’t stop there. He recently hosted and performed at Sweet Relief’s benefit concert called Strange ‘80s alongside Sarah Silverman, “Weird Al” Yankovic, Tenacious D, and Slipknot’s Corey Taylor. And now, he’s stepping behind the camera with his latest project, co-directing a crowdfunded music video for Spendtime Palace’s Western rock tune “Sonara” with former Viner Josh Ovalle. With It premiering this September and the second season of Stranger Things streaming this October on top of his personal ventures, Finn might’ve seemingly bitten off more than he can chew, but never underestimate a small kid with a big appetite.

: You recently dabbled into the world of filmmaking, co-directing a Westernthemed music video for Spendtime Palace with Josh Ovalle. Can you tell us some of the directors that inspire your vision as a director?

A: I think my favorite directors would be Spike Jonze and Edgar Wright. I like Spike Jonze because he’s so versatile in a way that he can make skateboarding videos but also win an Oscar for Best Screenplay. That really gives me faith that I can be an actor and still be a director. And Edgar Wright’s incredible because he just knows how to create something visually. He has perfect vision. Oh, also Sofia Coppola! That’s another director that I admire a lot.

Q: We’ve also been seeing a lot of your band Calpurnia online. Can we expect any music release from you guys soon?

A: Yeah, it all depends on my schedule, but I think we’ll be doing an EP that’ll be out in the next couple of months. Hopefully next year, we’ll do some shows. We want to do as many shows as we can ‘cause we love performing so much. We want to do shows in Vancouver and a tour maybe next summer.

Q: Going into your upcoming projects, you’ve been into a lot of scifi and supernatural stuff so far. Was this a conscious choice or a mere coincidence?

A: It’s a weird coincidence for sure. ‘Cause when I auditioned for Stranger Things, I was auditioning for everything. That was just the right thing for me to do at that time. Same thing with It, and I’m glad that they were. It’s just complete coincidence. Acting is my favorite thing to do, so whatever comes to me, I’d do it as long as the script is good.

Q: Both Stranger Things and It are set in the glorious decade of the ‘80s. How were you able to play a character from a time period you have no memory of?

A: The cool thing about playing a character in general is you have to add yourself to it, so I try to put as much of myself into every character that I play as possible. Like in Stranger Things, I read the lines like how I would say them in real life. I think the only thing that really has to do with the ‘80s is that it’s set in a different time. If you know enough about it, it’s easy enough to do.

Q: You got the chance to work with Sean Astin for this season. How was it like working with him?

A: He’s so amazing. He was open to anything. I asked him every question I had about The Goonies and The Lord of the Rings. He just gave me so much knowledge and told me to enjoy being a kid but at the same time, be comfortable with what you’re doing as well as the projects that I’m in.

Q: How different would this season of Stranger Things be from the first one?

A: The second season is just like the first season, but better. It has the same sense of wonder and adventure, but adding more horror and drama aspects to it. I even think it’s funnier than the first. It’s taking everything that the first season did and just improving it.

Q: Moving forward into your career, what kind of projects are you interested in doing next?

A: For acting, I’d love to do a comedy or a drama. I don’t want to do too many sci-fi and horror stuff ‘cause I would just get typecasted. Obviously, I enjoy doing Stranger Things, but the genre in general isn’t always my favorite. And I’d also want to continue directing anything that’s written by me. I don’t want to misquote Matt and Ross [Duffer], but they told me, “If you want to be a director, you have to write your own stuff.” And I really like that ‘cause you have full control of everything.

Q: Being a kid yourself, do you have any tips for other kids who want to follow the same path that you thread on?

A: I think anyone my age who’s into acting should go to open casting call websites like Craigslist and just find whatever they can find. If you want to do acting classes, that’s fine, but acting classes never worked for me. I’ve learned to access my emotions way more as I went along. But it depends. If you want to study it, that’s a different thing. I only advise that you go to school for it if you don’t know anything about acting. But if you already know enough about it, then I think that you should just do your own thing.

issuu

#finn wolfhard #mike wheeler #st articles #byler #< target audience

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fred-247 · 1 year

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Ok So I Had a Weird Splatoon Dream in October Last Year...

Before the first-ever big run, I had a dream back in October that I talked about on a private account and never really went back into it. I opened the game and it went through the whole Deep Cut talking about the Big Run thing in a completely different manner than the final variants. Partway through it though, a new character ended up walking on screen, who appeared to be an inkling with a welding mask of some kind, I could still make out the hairstyle obviously though lol. The main things that stood out to me though were the aspects of wearing casual clothes instead of some Grizzco-themed uniform, a slightly brighter spot of skin on the tip of their ear, and the fact that their ink color was roughly the same color as the oil/slime/ink the salmonids left behind. They were a representative for Grizzco and gave a basic rundown of what they would be requesting their happy little workers to do and so on and so forth. it wasn't the big run yet so in the dream I ended up just playing a normal round on Spawning Grounds.

However, Mr. Grizz was completely replaced in the textbox. Like he was still there in the Salmon run testing area, but during the game, it was the new character, the only difference being they didn't have the welding mask on anymore.

Below was a drawing I did when I had gotten home from school after suddenly remembering the dream in the middle of class.

The other big difference is that they weren't as harsh as Mr.Grizz in the dialogue boxes and with all honesty seemed very emotionless, so to say.

I think in another post I decided to give them the name Teri (as a sort of pun or nod to something like Teriyaki or something lol). I just remembered they existed so I might start doing stuff with the concept/character so uh yeah lol This was also what got me to try and draw a platoon character for the first time so yea lol I'm kinda proud despite how old the drawing is.

#splatoon #splatoon 3 #splatoon oc

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twdmusicboxmystery · 1 year

Note

Have you ever seen anything that said who Camille was on the Daryl Dixon spin off?

Okay, at first, I didn't think I'd ever heard the name Camille in conjunction with the Daryl spinoff. I totally didn't remember what you were referencing here. But @wdway reminded me. Here is some discussion of it:

@wdway:

Wasn't Camille the name on the pizza looking flat make up boxes that we saw back at the first of the year. Boxes holding costuming parts like Daryl tattoos and things for a stand-in and we questioned if this was a code name possibly for Emily/Beth.

@wdway:

@twdmusicboxmystery, I was just thinking how Beth would require several sets of scars, two for cuts on her face and the entrance and exit bullet hole wound plue a scar for her left wrist. The wrist and exit wound would not be shown often but they would still want to be consistent and have the scar for those occasions.

@galadrieljones:jones:

@wdway, you’re right. It says: “Camille wrist injury transfer.” (Top box, second line.)

@wdway:

Funny how it's all Daryl scars except for that one box that has a what l suspect is a filming date of 10-14-22. Middle of October. I thought they weren't filming until the 1st part of November I just remember us talking about how they couldn't film that much since it was going to fall into the holidays.

@galadrieljones:

Yeah you’re right that’s weird. I took the picture on like February 1st, which would have been when the story was posted. I don’t remember noticing that last time.

@wdway:

Seriously, how many times have we gone back on past TWD episodes and suddenly see something and think, why didn't I notice that before.

@galadrieljones:

A lot, lol. It’s like the main reason I love this show!

@wdway:

Something I've always wondered about but have not bothered to go back and try to find Norman's interview on Jimmy Kimmel, in the interview Norman makes a statement about how different filming was in Paris and he said something to the effect that they tore up the Louvre Museum. I think he caught himself for mentioning that but he then rambled on for a while. The thing is when I saw the interview I thought, so they've already done the filming at the museum? I know that TV and movie's have to film at the museum at night after public hours but I thank his statement implied that they filmed in secret before they were openly publicly acknowledging filming. I want to say Norman was in the states on Jimmy Kimmel around the time that TWD final was about to air and that's why he wasn't in Paris.

@galadrieljones:

That is totally weird! I might try to find that.

@galadrieljones:

Okay I went and found it and watched it a bit. He says, “We’ll like destroy the Louvre and stuff, like it’s gonna be nuts.” Kimmel says, “Is that true?” And Norman says, “I didn’t say that either…” And everybody laughs. At some point, Kimmel asks him if it’s a “zom com,” like a romance. I think probably that’s random.

@wdway:

So he said, "we'll like destroy.." which means, "we will, not we did." Technically, I guess I was wrong but it still reads very suspicious to me. We're to believe he saying they're going to (figuratively) destroy it, but it sounds like they already did. If he had said we plan too destroy the Louvre, that would make more sense to me. And Jimmy, asking, "Is that true?" Norman, "I didn't say that either..." What's your take on it? Does it seem suspicious to you like it does to me?

@galadrieljones:

It seems like he planted it. It’s impossible to tell if that’s because it already filmed or just because he wanted everyone to know they were going to the Louvre.

@wdway:

Do you remember when the interview was?

@galadrieljones:

It was posted 7 months ago, so like November?

@wdway:

Ummm, OK. With the Camille scar box reading October 14th it would seem that something was filmed on that date and a few weeks later Norman talks about the Louvre on Jimmy Kimmel. Not suspicious at all.

@galadrieljones:

Makes you wonder why he posted those boxes?? And in February. So much subterfuge lol

@wdway:

Agreed. Makes me totally wonder what's Norman trying to tell us, without telling us anything. If he had just lowered his camera a little bit more we would never know about that box or was that box of plant. We only see the "Camille box" once. I know I'm overthinking but.....

@galadrieljones:

It’s weird. I’m interested in @twdmusicboxmystery’s ask now. Like did they hear something or see a rumor? Or is this question based on Norman’s Insta post from February?

@wdway:

Yes! What you said!

@galadrieljones:

So out of curiosity I googled “what is a transfer in prosthetic make-up,” and I got a definition. It’s pretty much what I thought it was, but I wanted to be sure, re: “Camille wrist injury transfer”:

“Bondo transfers, also known as Prosthetics transfers or even 3D Transfers, are an acrylic based material that when scrapped into addition cure flat plate mould allows you to transfer it directly to skin. This can be a cut, scar, wound or even swallow eye bags, it's completely limitless and incredibly easy to use.”

So a “wrist injury transfer.” That’s vague! All the other boxes in the pic say “Daryl scar transfer.” What’s a “wrist injury transfer”? If it was a scar it would just say, “scar.” So like, a bite? I wonder if it’s purposefully vague to keep things a secret. Like you said Ann it’s easy to overthink this lol. But it’s just a little weird. It’s also the only box without an A or a B on it. Why? Just many questions here.

Like he has to know that ppl will ask questions!

Camille COULD be a boy’s name, just an fyi. Anyway. Only time will tell.

Hope that helps, Nonny! Xoxo! 🌺💕

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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sunny6677 · 1 year

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October

(A Spooky Month AU Series)

PART 19/CHAPTER 19: Another Familiar Face.

Summary: A 19-year old Skid ends up moving back to his old town for the sake of nostalgia. But he finds himself surrounded by familiar faces.

TWS: PUMP BEING A LITTLE MORE OF AN ASSHOLE THAN USUAL, PROFANITY, ARGUING, BICKERING, SLIGHT WANTING TO UNALIVE IMPLICATIONS, SKID AND PUMP HAVE ISSUES, PUMP NEEDS THERAPY, PUMP HAS ANGER ISSUES, YELLING.

————

The two of them had awkwardly walked along the sidewalk, completely silent. Skid looked down at the light gray sidewalk, avoiding eye contact with his former friend who had been beside him. While Pump, the former friend in question, had merely been staying quiet while looking off to the side, his head slightly tilted. It was weird, but both of them had their hands in their pockets for some reason, like they were in sync or something. The silence was so thick you could cut it with a knife, as if it had been a slice of cake that you could easily slice through with a sharp object.

After a bit, Skid stopped in his tracks, and spotted a bench outside of what looked to be either a resturant or a shop. Pump stopped in his tracks, looking at Skid in slight confusion. Then, Skid wondered over to the bench, and slowly sat down, looking down at his legs as if still avoiding eye contact with Pump. Pump sighed, and walked over to the bench, he then sat next to Skid, and leaned back in the spot he had sat in a little bit. The two remained quiet. Skid found himself glancing at Pump, he had been thinking about what Pump had said when he had been upset earlier.

Did Pump truly think no one cared about him? Did he truly think Skid didn't care about him? But why? There was no reason for him to think that.. right?

Skid only realized a few seconds later that Pump had now been staring back at him, which caused him to immediately look back down at his legs. He didn't want to seem weird or anything, he didn't want to seem rude or anything either. He was just.. thinking, he guessed.

Skid had only realized this now, but the both of them looked a bit.. different compared to how they looked a few hours ago. The two of them now had slight bruises on random parts of their body, and their hair appeared to be a little messy now, as if they hadn't brushed it in a few days. Pump sighed, looking at Skid, "So, what now?"

"I.. I don't know, I just needed to think." Skid answered, not making any eye contact with Pump still. His voice sounded gentle, quiet, and meek, compared to Pumps more confident and bold voice. There was an awkward pause in the middle of the, both for a moment, before Pump yet again let out another sigh. Skid then paused, before speaking up, "Pump?"

"Yeah?" Pump said, raising a brow. "...why did you try to save me?" Skid asked, sounding genuinely curious, yet also still quiet and meek. For a few moments, silence lingered through the air, and Pump did not give a verbal answer. Pump then finally spoke, "What do you mean why did I try to save you? I'm not just gonna leave you die, even if we both used to know that weird eye monster in our childhood. I still can't believe that thing is real.." Pump said that last part quietly, looking almost afraid.

"I can't believe that he's real either.." Skid quietly said, but then nervously smiled, "..but hey, I guess it was to be expected. We cam across a lot of other monsters like him after all.." Pump rolled his eyes, and said, "Yeah, and I wish we never did. Why did we always get so involved with the supernatural anyway?"

"I guess.. 'cuz we were dumb kids, we were just having fun." Skid shrugged. There was another awkward silence for a moment. "But.. why did you try to save me, Pump? Aren't you still mad at me?" Skid questioned gently, in a slightly soft side curious tone. Pump didn't answer for a few moments, before sighing yet again, and saying, "Skid, even though I think your full of shit.. I'm not going to just let someone from my childhood potentially be ripped apart by some weird tentacle monster that looks like a peacock on steroids.. or maybe even a spider on barrels of steroids." Pump paused, before speaking again, "But, listen.. I wouldn't ever let you just.. die like that, okay? As.. as much as I think your an asshole now, I still don't think you deserve to die."

There was a long silence for a moment. Skid looked at Pump, his eyes slightly now lit up a bit. It seemed as if for a moment, a glimmer of hope gleamed inside of Skids pupils. "Dont get yourself almost killed on me again, alright? You didn't move back here just to end up dead, there's no reason for you to just get killed off like that even though you clearly have your whole life ahead of you." Pump said. In this moment, he seemed.. genuine, and less aggresive. He spoke in a low and raspy tone, but.. he didn't seem aggresive like usual, despite him having a "resting bitch face" as one may call it.

"Uh.. I'll try not to, I don't know.. that all just happened on its own because I wanted my mug back, and I wanted to help you get your jacket back, so.." Skid trailed off, slightly fidgeting with his hands. "Yeah, but you still almost died. The next time I get something stolen from me, your not coming with me, even if they stole some shit from you too. I can handle shit on my own, I don't need your help, because clearly if you do try and help, you'll almost fucking die." Pump said with a few gestures of his hands. Skid pauses, and says, "But.. Eyes wasn't even dangerous, he just wanted candy."

"Yeah, but that thing can still kill you if it really wants to. The only reason it didn't do anything was because of the damn spooky month thing you brought up." Pump said, in a matter-of-fact an raspy tone. "I.. don't really believe that. We befriended him when we were young.. I don't think he'd just kill me like that." Skid spoke, seeming genuine and trusting with his words.

"Please, we don't even know what that damn thing is capable of! You can't just trust some weird demonic eye thing from our childhood just because we had candy with him when we were young. If it changes its mind about us, we can both easily get killed!" Pump paused after saying that in a slightly more raised tone, he then looked at Skid, having an unsure glance all of the sudden. "You don't.. want to get yourself killed, do you?" Pump hesitantly asked.

...Skid hesitated, glancing at Pump for a little longer than he usually would have. He had an unsure and nervous gaze as he remained silent. He opened his mouth to speak—

"Uh, sirs?"

A oddly familiar, masculine, scrawny and raspy voice suddenly spoke up from right in front of them. The two stopped talking, and immediately turned their heads to the source of the voice. It appeared to be a tall man, who didnt seem too young, he seemed to be in his early thirties at least. His hair was pitch black and neat, and he had slight eyebags. He was wearing a white button up, with some blue jeans and black shoes. Something about him seemed.. weirdly familiar.

"You okay? You two look like you've been through a lot. Did.. did something happen?" The tall man questioned, he sounded almost as if he were some anxious teenager with the way his voice sounded. Had you only been listening to his voice, surely, you would have mistaken him for being either a teenager or a man in his early twenties. Skid and Pump looked down at theirselves, noticing their slightly bruised and messy state now.

"Uh.. yeah, we're okay, sir. We just.." Skid paused, "..we ended up getting kind of caught up in something, and.. this ended up happening." Pump crossed his arms, looking at the strange man with his eyebrow slightly raised. "Oh, uh.. that sounds.. that doesn't sound good. Is—Is there anything I can do to help?" The man asked, seeming concerned for whatever just happened to the two he had seemingly never met before already.

Pump sighed, "No, we tried fixing the situation ourselves, but things ended up going downhill.. now the police are getting our things back instead." Pump seemed mildly frustrated, crossing his arms, and looking down at his lap. "W—What he means is.. we ended up getting something stolen from us, but.. neither of us were thinking about calling the police since we wanted to get our things back as fast as we could, so.. we ended up going through a lot of trouble to get it back, but the police ended up showing up.. and now we're waiting for them to get our stuff back." Skid explained with soft gestures of his hands, looking down at his own lap too.

The man suddenly went silent, and then spoke in a cautious tone, "Uh.. I see. By chance.. did.. any of that involve that weird monster with eyes I ended up seeing around town earlier?" He seemed almost anxious all of the sudden. The two went silent for a bit, as if taking in what he just said. "Uh.. yeah, why?" Pump asked, as if this had been a completely casual and slightly confusing thing, he seemed genuinely confused as to why the man would ask that at all.

"Um.. your names don't happen to be.. Skid and Pump.. right? Are those your names?" The man asked suddenly, he seemed as if he was in shock as he asked this question, but he seemed.. weirdly relieved at the same time. The two went silent, both a bit anxious now. "How.. how the hell do you know our names?" Said Pump, completely ready to jump this man if they both had a stalker on their hands. Even if he was a little hurt physically right now, Pump didn't mind beating the absolute hell out of someone if they were stlaking him and his former friend.

The man then said, "Its.. Its me, Kevin. You.. you remember me, right, kids? I—I was the candy store cashier at the Candy Store that used to be downtown?"

As if in sync, Skid and Pump both blinked st the same time, though they had different expressive reactions. Skids eyes widened, and in a slightly relieved but weirdly shocked and almost happy tone, "K—Kevin?"

Pump, after widening his eyes, then placed his face into his hands. He then spoke in a slightly frustrated and raised tone, "Goddamni—"

————

"S—So, how have you two been? I haven't seen either of you in a while.." Kevin said, still standing in front of the both of them. The two of them had now been standing up, though both of them had different demeanors. Pump had a slightly irritated, and cold demeanor. While Skid had a more gentle and relieved demeanor.

Skid gently answered, "O—Oh, uh.. I've been doing okay. I was adopted by a really nice foster family, and.. and they were really nice to me when they raised me. I—I dont really have a job at the moment though, and I kinda just came back here, so.. i might have to look for one."

"Oh, well.. there's a local writing business down there that'll pay you to edit papers or to write articles, I think the price they pay you is pretty low though. And there's even an art business down here somewhere.. if your any good at art, they'll pay you for just drawing. Depending on how much you sell, anyway.." Kevin suggested, seemingly more warm than how he used to be. He seemed to be a lot more relaxed than how he used to be, in fact. Had Kevin perhaps not been annoyed by either of them anymore?

"Oh, um.. thanks, Kevin, I'll look into it, heh.." Skid nervously chuckled, averting eye contact with Kevin. He nervously stroked his own hand. Was Kevin just pretending not to be annoyed, or was he being sarcastic like usual? Skid wasn't able to tell if he was being genuine about his words or not.

After a bit of awkward silence, Kevin then questioned, "So, Pump, how've you been, kid?"

Pumps face flickered with absolute anger for a moment, before he sighed, and said, "First of all, don't call me that.. second of all, I've been.. okay, I guess. Being a coffee shop cashier is kind of shitty to be honest.. at the very least, I'm being payed some shitty minum wage in return. Not much.. but hey, it's not like life will get any more shitty, right?" Pump said in a sarcastic tone, forcing a fake grin.

Kevin seemed a little taken aback, not expecting Pump to swear. But he empathized with Pump a little, knowing full well how it felt to have a shitty job. "Oh.. hey, kid, I understand what it's like to have a crappy job. Being payed to work ten or eight or maybe less hours, only to receive a lot less money then you were expecting really does suck. Do you know if theres any other jobs around right now that you could take?" Kevin said, trying to be gentle with Pump.

"No, Kevin, there isn't any. Why are you trying to help me anyway? Didn't you hate me and Skid because we kept bringing you trouble or something?" Pump sighed, raising a brow in calm confusion and irritation. Kevin paused, and said awkwardly, "Well.. i didnt exactly hate either of you, you two would bring me trouble, but you two were just kids.. it wasnt really your fault that those things kept happening. I dont think either of you could control any of what happened, since you two seemed to just.. think it was normal."

"Well, Kevin, I don't think either of us really thought it was normal.. Skid over here just really liked weird spooky shit, and I'd usually just play along with it since he seemed to be having fun with it." Pump gestured to Skid, who then slightly widened his eyes. Skid spoke up, "Pump, you liked spooky month.. you know you liked it just as much as anyone who joined in on what we did together did." Pump rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah.. keep telling yourself that all you want." It seemed "Jerk Pump" was now back.

Skid paused, and then slightly raised his voice a little, sounding almost desperate, "Y—You did like it! No one just joins in on something and is that convincing about it for every Halloween just to make a friend happy! It's fine to say that you liked it, really—" Pump snarled, and gritted his teeth, and sharply turned to Skid, "Skid, can we please not do this right now? I really don't feel like repeating this same stupid fucking argument with you again.. whats the point in even arguing about it anyway? It was just some stupid obsession you had when you were a kid that i went along with because it made you happy!"

"Uh.. kids?" Kevin tried to say, raising a hand.

"Wha—what do you mean can we not do this right now? Y—You've basically been bickering with me and back and forth for the past hour, and this is where you draw the line?" Skid says, raising his tone more.

"Yeah, because you won't stop provoking me to start bickering with you! Don't act like your all innocent, Skid!" Pump yells back, clenching his fists slightly.

"Kids—" Kevin tries to say again, but he's yet again interrupted.

"Dont act like I'm all innocent?! Look at you! Your being a jerk for no reason, and yet your the one acting like I'm being unreasonable here! Your doing this all because of some petty argument we had when we were kids, and yet I'm the one who's in the wrong here?!" Skid yelled, frustration now in his tone.

Pump grunts, now visibly pissed off. Pump raises his tone, taking an angry step foward toward Skid, almost as if he were practically leaping toward Skids direction, "It wasn't just an argument, Skid, you know it wasn't—"

"Kids!" Kevin yells.

The two went silent yet again, they had been bickering, and had yet again been interrupted. How many times had this happened today? Why were they even bickering so much?

"Kids, what is up with you? Why are you two arguing like this?" Kevin asked, seeming almost in shock from the sudden argument the two had a few moments ago before he interrupted them both. Pump sighs in frustration, "It isn't any of your business, Kevin! Why do you care so much anyway?! And stop fucking calling me that!"

"It isn't any of my business? Kid, the two of you just started fighting for no reason. I can't figure out what's wrong and help you both if you keep acting aggresive like this." Kevin said, his tone slightly more stern as he managed to tower over Pump somehow. Pump snarled, stepping closer to Kevin as he aggresively gestured toward him, "Call me that again and i swear to god, I'll—"

"Pump!" Skid said, placing a hand on Pumps shoulder, and pulling him back. "Pump, you can't just attack Kevin like that. What's your deal? Why don't you wanna be called that?" Skid asked, trying to hold him back still. Pump calmed down only a little, but still remained aggresive. "Its none of your goddamn business, Skid.." Pump said in a raspy tone, shoving Skids hand off of him, though not too hard. "I—It is my business! Why can't you just open up to me? I just wanna know what's wrong!" Skid said in a desperate tone. Pump then turned around, and sakd in a passive aggresive voice, "You wanna know what's wrong? Okay, okay, well—" ...the two of them were yet again bickering.

As Kevin watched, he sighed, and then held a stern look to his face. Before the verbal fight could get too intense and possibly lead to a physical dispute, he grabbed them both by the back of their collars, and held them back from eachother. "Kids, thats enough." Kevin said firmly, his tone sounding very stern now all of the sudden. Pump snarled, and struggled, gritting his teeth at Kevin and saying, "Kevin, you—"

Kevin interrupted Pump, "Pump, I'm sorry for.. for calling you 'kid', or whatever, but it's no use to yell at Skid or me. Just what the hell is up with you now anyway? Why the hell are you acting like this?"

"Thats none of your concern.." Pump growled, crossing his arms. Kevin spoke, sounding more firm as he continued to raise his voice at Pump slightly, like an older brother scplding a younger sibling, "Pump, you know damn well your in the wrong here. No matter what's wrong, that's no excuse to be rude to your best friend or me—why the hell are you acting like this all of the sudden? What's wro—"

"He's not my friend anymore!" Pump yelled, balling up his fists.

Kevin stood in shock for a second. Skid gently said in a soft tone, "Uh.. Kevin, can you please let me go now—"

Pump growled, and pointed an accusing finger at Skid, "Oh, no, Skid! Your not doing the talking this time! I'm tired of everyone getting onto me for something that isn't even my fault, I'm tired of everyone acting like your the victim here! You know what you did, you—"

Skid defended himself, though in a less louder tone, "Why the hell does everything have to be about that argument we had when we were kids, Pump? Weren't you saying that you wouldn't let me get killed before Kevin showed up? Why are you changing moods so fast? Why can't you just make sense for one secon—"

"Why can't you just make sense?! You smiled wh—" Pump immediately stopped himself, and groaned, "Nevermind, just let go of me, goddamnit.."

Kevin let go of both Skid and Pump. But he then got in between the both of them, and towered before Pump, putting his hands on his hips. He had a stern, scolding look to his face, "Pump, I don't know what the hell is going on with either of you two, but it isn't an excuse to yell at Skid. Clearly, there's been some kind of misunderstanding here. Can't the two of you just talk it out already?"

Pump gestured with his hands in a defensive manner, saying loudly, "No, because I know what he did! Obviously, he doesn't care about me—"

"How? How do you know he doesn't care about you?" Kevin asked, raising a brow at him with a stern glare.

Pump clenched his fists yet again, defensively saying, "Well, obviously he doesn't care about me! He's only ever cared about spooky month and not me! He doesn't care about me, no one cares about m—"

"Pump, Skid." Kevin said in a more gentle but still scolding tone. Skid slightly froze up at the mention of his own name. Kevin stepped out from in between the both of them, and towered over the both of them, saying, "I don't know what's going on here, but either way, you two have gotta talk this out. This clearly isn't healthy, and it isn't going to get any better if you two just keep fighting like this."

"B—But, Kevin—" Skid tried to speak, but he was interrupted by Pump.

Pump yelled in a defensive and angry manner, "I can't! He obviously doesn't care about me, so why should i—"

"Pump, Skid, this still clearly isn't healthy. None of this is going to work out if you two just keep fighting. You two clearly have some of your own personal issues, and need to work on them, since this seems to be making your relationship very unhealthy." Kevin gently said, though his tone still sounded firm and scolding. He was like a father scolding his children.

Skid softly replied, "Work on.. w—what issues? I—I'm already trying to work on mine, I have a therapist—"

"Okay, and that's good, but there's clearly some kind of miscommunication going on here. Pump.. do you have a therapist?" Kevin questioned.

"No.." Pump hesitantly answered, as if it hurt to say.

"Okay.. then why don't you go ahead and find one? You have some issues of your own, Pump, and you need to find someone to help you with that—" Kevin said, gesturing with his hands in an almost authority-figure type manner.

"Help me with what? I'm fine! Skids just an asshole!" Pump yelled, rolling his eyes.

"Hey!" Skid frowned.

"Pump, you need help too, whether you like it or not. You two both have serious issues with yourselves in your own ways, and you need to find some way to stop being so hard on yourselves. At the very least, you two need to stop being so hard on eachother." Kevin firmly replied to Pumps comment. "I know it's hard, but you two can at least try and work out your own issues, right?"

Skid and Pump merely glanced at eachother. By the looks on their faces, it was clear this wasn't going to be easy.

#spooky month #skid and pump #spooky month au #read the tws #pump and skid #skid spooky month #kevin spooky month #pump spooky month #october au

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