#i think ai is useful sure i just think its easily exploited

[k0kichiimagines]

"ai to be like your dead loved ones" not one of you have seen black mirror and it shows

[aihoshiino]

chapter 152 thoughts

Chapters Since The 143 Kiss Happened And Went Entirely Unacknowledged And Unaddressed Count: 9

Aqua Hoshigan Status: White??!???!?!?

WELL DAMN. OKAY. LET'S FUCKING GO I GUESS.

With the End Of The Play… miniarc? interlude? wrapping up, Oshi no Ko officially confirms we're in endgame territory and slams down on the gas to barrel full speed towards its conclusion. This chapter was definitely a mixed bag, but I didn't dislike it and I SURE CAN'T SAY IT WAS BORING AT LEAST………….. It reframes a lot of things that lead up to it - I suppose that makes 'recontextualization' the keywork for this chapter, then.

The return to the volume 1 interviews in this chapter were kind of a surprise LOL. Given that the anime trimmed all but Ai's, I kind of took that as an implicit confirmaton that they weren't really that important so it's a bit of a jumpscare to see Gotanda (& Aqua's) revisited here. That said, revisiting them here is more about clueing the viewer that we're caught up chronologically with those flashforwards and thus that everything from this point on is officially uncharted territory, so I still do think cutting them from episode 1 was the right call to make. I don't think it causes any plotholes or incongruities since these interviews are really kind of incidental in the grand scheme of things… also let's be real I don't think any of us are expecting the anime to get that far into the story, even if I would give my left leg to see the anime team work their magic on chapter 137………………………….

That said, it's pretty fucking rich for Gotanda to try and talk big about the movie not being fictional when we heard from the horse's mouth that Abiko and Yoriko just fucking made up the dynamics of one of the most central and pivotal relationships in it out of thin air lol. Not only that, but like…

15 Year Lie is a movie with a pretty clear narrative. This by itself is natrual and expected. Narrative is the shape in which the human brain most readily accepts information but to create a narrative about something is to fictionalise it. Even when it's a narrative about real events - because narratives are, themselves, fiction. They have cleanly defined beginnings and ends, arcs and the promise of neatly packaged payoff and catharsis that is impossible to achieve in reality. To create a narrative about Ai's life in any form, let alone in a movie made for mass general audience consumption, unavoidably necessitates reducing her to a fictional character to observe rather than a fellow human to understand.

Which is… you know, horrifying! Fucked up and ghoulish! It's exploition of Ai in death just as she was exploited in life and I really wish the Movie Arc had actually focused on that uncomfortable undercurrent. This was, after all, supposed to be a movie about Ai.

BUT ANYWAY, CAST SCREENING OF THE MOVIE… we get some detail about reactions to the content but even as characters are literally talking about the movie and Ruby's extremely important role in it they just conveniently avoid discussing the content of it. But surely with all those important scenes that were set up and with the public release of the movie and Kamiki's side of the story to tell, we'll get some more details, right??? [audible copium huff]

Akane's tearful reaction is interesting, though. They're specifically singled out as not being to do with the content of the movie and her expression is a bit ambiguous - you could read is as resigned or relieved just as easily. I think she has clearly recognized something about Aqua's revenge in the movie which prompts that reaction but who even knows what's going on with akane at this point lol. sure not akasaka.

The girls all ragging on Ruby's acting was also kind of… like, yeah, remember when Ruby not being a good enough actress to carry a whole movie was kind of a huge issue??? The fact that this is resolved by everyone saying "yeah it was bad but idk aqua made it good somehow" was kind of silly lol.

I do really like Melt stepping in to stick up for Ruby, though - because yeah, of course hearing that would probably bring up some bad memories for Melt…! I also like that he doesn't try to shallowly flatter her or butter her up - he's frank about where she still needs to improve but hones in on the part that really matters. He really is a good kid.

That said, him sticking up for Ruby and her glomming onto him and calling him 'Master' (ししょ/師匠, shishou, as in the master of a craft addressed by their disciple, in Japanese) does kind of highlight that the MLRB mentorship that got set up in 144… went nowhere??? We can assume by Ruby's response to him here that it happened offscreen but it really does feel like a total waste of time to have spent what was effectively an entire chapter on setting up a new character dynamic that just didn't happen. Like… really, in hindsight, what was even the point of that chapter other than to establish that Melt… was also here??? I guess we still have the final arc for that to resolve into something but.

It just kind of sucks because I think a MLRB friendship could be really fun! I think they have the potential for a good dynamic and there's some really interesting parallels between them both that are ripe for farming. At this point, it's probably way too late for us to expect anything to come of it, so I can only daydream……..

tho it is really funny to me that at this point, since 143, ruby has had more meaningful on panel interactions with melt than she has aqua. What Did They Mean By This.

Gotanda and Kaburagi's talk that followed also left me with pretty mixed feelings. As expansion on/closure for Kaburagi (and Gotanda to an extent), I think this was fine… there's just a few little details that bother me, I guess.

On the one hand, I really like Gotanda's frank admission that there's no way to know whether the movie really captured the 'real' Ai. This is another thing I've talked about over and over during the Movie Arc but nobody making this movie is really in a position to be making that call - the only person who really could is Ai and… well, she's not here anymore to advocate for herself. Seeing Gotanda acknowledge that does scratch some of what was left unitched by this thread but…

Eugh. I don't know. Something about this movie, which is about Ai's life, Ai's tragedy, Ai's final push to be shown to the world as she was and to potentially be accepted being made to be about Gotanda's regrets just feels kind of icky to me. Maybe it just feels especially bad because it feels like 15 Year Lie has become more about every other character involved than her. I'm sure people are sick of me complaining about it, but it really does feel like Ai as a figure of emotional importance to this story is getting increasingly downplayed and dismissed and…… just feels bad, I guess!!!!

Kaburagi's side of this conversation is a lot more engaging, at least. This does tragically represent the end of my Secret Villain Kaburagi Theory and I feel decidedly mixed on the story choosing to frame him so sympathetically… but on the other hand, I do like how this implication of guilt and sense of responsibility reframes basically all his prior actions in the manga. It seems to confirm that he clocked Aqua (and thus by extension, Ruby) as being Ai's child right from the start and explains why he was willing to go so far in pushing their careers along at little benefit to himself - it was out of atonement to Ai.

that panel of young kaburagi and baby ai having lunch together. fuck, man. the fact that she took the burger out of the wrapper like she does in viewpoint b………….. babygirl i loev u so muuuuchchchchchchhchchchchsjsjsskasklsndkdkd

and……………………….. now it's time for aqua's interview. Jesus Christ.

I like the recontextualization of Aqua's interview here and the way we see This Mysterious Interviewer gradually pick apart his responses. I especially got SUCH a thrill out of his 'I won't love anyone' schtick being called out as the bullshit it is - one of my first really meaty OnK metas was of Aqua's interview segment specifically and I zeroed in on this sentiment specifically as being a lie that Aqua was trying to project and seeing the text back that up makes me a very happy Claire

But more importantly though… what Aqua has to say after that makes me particularly excited.

First of all, let's get it out of the way: KAMIKI JUMPSCARE!!!!!!!!! It seems implicit that he was the one doing all the interviews which is very fucking funny considering his presence in the movie itself, but I'm not entirely sure it changes or adds much other than giving Aqua the opportunity to death note speech his ass.

What is fascinating to me about this talk is what it implies about Aqua. Every time we've seen his revenge play come up before this, the very strong implication is that Aqua intends to die at the end of it, either by Kamiki's hand or his own. But here, face to face with the man he's dedicated his entire life to ruining, Aqua doesn't just state his intent to get revenge but his intention to reclaim his future by doing so. We've gotten some pushes towards this since 150 but this is the clearest declaration of his intent to finally seize hold of this second chance and fucking live it that we've gotten out of Aqua… honestly, ever!

And accordingly, we see Aqua return to his white hoshigans here. I don't necessarily know if I want to call this slam dunk confirmed but this WAS really exciting to see given how it falls in line with my interpretation of "white hoshigan = hope = future" and "black hoshigan = despair = futurelessness". Everybody has been spending the last few chapters basically begging Aqua not to throw away his future and hurt the people he loves just to chase his revenge and it does seem like they're starting to get through to him.

Is this development kind of rushed? Honestly, yeah! I would've loved to see this explored more from properly inside Aqua's POV and it feels especially abrupt given how hard he got ignored all during the post-123 section of the Movie Arc. But at this point, it just feels so fucking good to see Aqua say out loud that he wants to have a future, that he wants to finally move forward and live that I can't bring myself to care. I just want him to finally be happy!!!

that said how fucking funny is it that the closest thing aqua has gotten to therapy in years is from his estranged father, a serial killer

break next week…!

[do-you-have-a-flag]

sorry to come back to this but this truly fascinates and concerns me for so many reasons

obligatory "Ah sweet. Man-made horrors beyond my comprehension." comment

so first of all: brain organoids. which are grown from human stem cells into just little brains with underdeveloped eyes, they have a lifespan of about 100 days because they are an organ without a system.

these brain organoids are something that have a lot of potential when it comes to studying any number of things. just off the top of my head i would think- the process of human development, disease studies, healing tissue development, foetal and premature development of consciousness, ect ect ect i'm not informed on this type of research so i will freely admit idk.

and they are using 16 at a time as processors with computer chips. okay sure, scifi aside, the structure of an organ being used for it's complexity compared to the limitations of material and efficiency in current technology makes sense. if it helps imagine if a branch or a kidney were hooked up to a computer chip and we found out that it worked as good or better than mechanical processors for a fraction of the energy use. i am also not informed on how most technology works, please keep in mind, but i am also not opposed to the idea of combining these types of technologies in theory. and the biggest downfall currently is short shelf-life of the organoids required.

but the thing is, i think, that this is specifically an early development of a brain, at what point is consciousness defined? there is no sensory system beyond the basic light perception of the eyes and the input to the brain but at what point is the responses automatic and at what point is it complex enough to be aware in some abstract way. this question is one that can be applied to any form of animal of course.... but i think also that it is strange that these organoids are being specifically developed from human stem cells and not any number of other animal as a brain is a brain and at the small scale they are growing these organoids most of the speculative benefits of human logic are irrelevant- they are operating at pre mature infant levels which could just as easily be achieved by any number of apes cells surely?

is there going to be a developmental cut off for these organoids? at what point of biological development is the ethical ick factor for consciousness? because of how stem cells are able to be harvested in a non destructive fashion things like lab grown meat make sense to me- those are consumed but can also offset the requirements for the meat industry- and if these organoids are also grown from stem cells that's great but at what point is making that many to be burnt through as processors a wasteful use when there are other possible avenues of study? the wide commercial release of such experimental tech seems a little risky considering how quickly new technologies are exploited- just look at bitcoin farms and ai scraping- for the sake of profit with no care for ethical implementation or construction or impact.

this is a weird post from me but sorry i just have some questions i want you the person reading this to think about with me, seperate to any deep reading of the science because i wanna focus on the personal reaction to the concepts, (feel free to read the science tho i encourage it) just something to chew on i'm not expecting any philosophically concrete answers:

would you use the brain organoid processor tech if you had the chance?

why?

Why is it important that these have to be grown from human stem cells

where is the line between organ and being/consciousness

let's contend: there is the world (physical) and there is the senses (contact with the physical) and there is the experience (interpretation)

is it the senses or the experience that makes a creature conscious? how complex do the senses need to be before the experience is positive or negative?

where is that experiencial definition? is it as simple as feels good feels bad?

is it the tendency to circulate repeatedly on the same neural pathway? how are those neurological reactions controlled? are they controlled?

how do you feel about scientific testing on humans?

how do you feel about scientific testing on animals?

how do you feel about scientific testing on plants?

how do you feel about scientific testing on fungi?

how do you feel about scientific testing on single celled organisms?

how do you feel about scientific testing on organs?

how do you feel about scientific testing on technology?

what do you consider the line to be for ethical research? is it funding? is it theory versus practice? is it use of information? is it method of data collection? is it intent? is it implementation? is it within a limitation of precedent? is it within a limitation of subject? are there areas you think should be left alone on principle? why?

what level of complexity is required for the question of consent of participant?

where should limitations be imposed on use? why would limitations be necessary? who has the right to information? who has the right to profit?

Who is profiting from these studies? where will this technology be used? who is competing with this technology? what other technologies might this impact? will other technologies using the same concept adhere to the same limitations/ethics?

do you think everyone using the brain organoid based processors for $500pcm are thinking about these questions? should they have to?

disclaimer: i am uneducated and uninformed in the fields of science and technology so this is one hundo percent a personal response to information i have very little context for. But i also think it's important to think actively about technology and avoid complacency about the way it impacts our lives so doing little thought exercises in response to articles like this is, I think, a good thing.

[anhed-nia]

PS I almost saw IN A VIOLENT NATURE for the first time at an open air screening on Governor's Island, a popular NYC destination for outdoor entertainment and close-to-home glamping. I thought that was a great idea, but ultimately I skipped it because I wanted to see the film for the first time without the light pollution and ambient noise. They made this cool graphic for it, though...which immediately triggered comments section controversy about AI.

The social media person replied that the image was not AI-generated; though the "scene" does not take place in the movie, it is a photograph of a person wearing the screen costume, just doing something fun on Governor's Island to advertise their cool event. No matter what your general feelings are about AI in commercial art, we can probably all agree that it sucks that we have to have these onerous arguments about everything now.

For me, and I think for anyone who enjoys visual art, the medium matters--not because of some imaginary hierarchy of importance, but because different media have different effects, traditions, and implications. And because, with respect to AI, the statement "This really happened!" and the question "Wouldn't it be cool IF this really happened?" inspire very different responses. My personal, casual feeling is that AI art is OK as long as it is easily identifiable as such; like I've seen some really fun AI images whose particular kind of outrageousness makes appropriate use of that specific medium. I'm a "right tool, right job" person, I think some things should be paintings and some things should be photos, some things should be stage plays and some things should be movies. You should carefully choose your medium and exploit the unique qualities of that medium based on exactly what you're trying to accomplish. For this reason I think that AI images that are just trying to fake the effects of i.e. painting or photography kind of suck. And related to that I object to living in a world where we all just have to throw up our hands and say "Oh well, there's no way to know anymore whether something is physically-real or whether it's just a hypothetical representation of something that maybe-could-be real, I guess the only thing we can do is not give a shit about where anything comes from or how it got here and what that all means." For me, "There's no way to ever know anything for sure so who fucking cares" is not an acceptable default setting. (And I realize this is becoming the central issue of our day due to all kinds internet-enabled misinformation and I'm treading on the hem of a way bigger topic here, but never mind all that now...)

But still, I find myself just as annoyed with fakery as I am with people who instantly declare something to be fake. Frankly I think those guys are just scared of being fooled and so they're trying to preserve their own sense of superiority by declaring everything to be fake before they have any evidence one way or the other. This is a very different thing in its consequences, I know, but some of these guys sound just like the bigots who go around trying to clock random strangers as trans; they always have these ridiculous lists of "evidence" that turn out to be just as applicable to afab and amab people as they are to people who have transitioned. It's all roughly the same flavor of defensiveness from people who are scared of being tricked into believing or feeling something that will turn out to be a fraud. And I can sympathize with that to some degree, I don't wanna be tricked into believing in, for instance, awesome-looking photo shoots that never happened; like if you said it wouldn't matter to you if the photos Thierry Mugler shot on top of the Chrysler Building turned out to be digital fakes, then I would happily call you a liar. But what I really hate more than anything right now is this immediate effect where as soon as anything cool-looking appears online, we all have to have these contentious arguments where insecure jerks pound their chests about how un-foolable they are...and sometimes it turns out that the "AI art" is real and so their claims to amazing powers of perception are a big embarrassment. I guess my conclusion is that if everyone agreed to make AI imagery clearly identifiable in some way, then we could all stop having our good time spoiled by this paranoid bickering that has become the prerequisite for enjoying anything. But that's probably an impossible dream.

[sevdrag]

dreamwidth update: eh, what the hell

or: Sev's Adventures With ChatGPT

This is not an article defending AI scraping programs in any way. I find their existence worrisome and exploitative. However, while reading what's going down at AO3 with regards to AI-generated fanworks - more specifically, writing - I realized I actually don't know a lot about what these kinds of things actually produce.

I am, of course, teh lady who thought the band was actually called One Directional, so. No wonder.

But I decided I would take a little look and see what the concerns are with regards to written fanworks. (Again, this is in NO way defending the way these programs were trained on the backs of content written by others. That's separate.) I wanted to see what a fanwork might look like coming out of one of these guys.

I wanted to see how - threatening? - AI-generated content is at the moment only in terms of comparison to other fanfictions. Again, this says nothing about legal use or existence as a transformative work. I wanted to see if I could make it make me a fanfiction.

So if you, too, were curious about it, but didn't want to use the AI guy / were too lazy to do so, here's my short 15 minute experiment.

I figured I'd start somewhere I've been a while: Winterhawk fandom. So I said:

Help me write a story where Bucky Barnes and Clint Barton get together while working at a restaurant and eventually kiss.

You might recognize this premise from the garlic fic.

( Here's what it gave me: )

So on one hand, I was expecting the writing to be terrible, and it isn't. But this reads more like the summary of a story than an actual story, right? Plus, the phrasings are ultimately cliche: the soft glow of the moonlight is easily predictable text because it's been used thousands of times. This isn't bad, but it isn't something I see as being at all popular over other fic offerings.

But, I thought, maybe I'm using it wrong. So I made the sacrifice and put in the first 3 paragraphs of Old Vines. Yes, ChatGPT now has the first 3 paragraphs of Old Vines in its database. I'm sorry / You're welcome.

( and )

It's basically... a summary of the first three paragraphs. Rewritten.

So I put in the 4th paragraph.

( next )

Again. It's just rewriting my words.

So then I asked it:

what happens when Aziraphale lands in wine country

mainly because I was curious whether it would find Old Vines itself somewhere, or like, idk. I was just curious.

( So it gave me this: )

What a lovely story that would have been! Y'all never would have had to deal with Gabriel.

and THEN i thought, well, OV is a relatively small fanfic i'm using because it's mine. I wonder what happens if I ask:

what happens when he meets Crowley

( And )

Note the mention of "the apocalypse" and "angel and demon" -- the addition of Crowley to the mix has led it back to Good Omens source material. None of this is in OV, which is an AU, and way way way way way WAY smaller than Good Omens as a whole, obviously -- but it didn't pick it up from those paragraphs. It knows Crowley and Aziraphale stopped the apocalypse.

And it's also still very much a summary of something. It isn't... it isn't writing what I would call fanfiction.

So what am I saying here? Nothing yet. I know a lot about writing; I know very little about AI.

I find its general coherency surprising and worrisome -- I'm so cynical that all I can see are the ways people could use it to steal and rewrite work, or fuck stuff up, but I'm sure there are cool things about it too. I don't think it's yet a challenger to work on AO3 written by humans.

I don't know what else to say about it but I wrote this whole thing, so like, idk man.

comments Comment? https://ift.tt/XVdPLWj

[pokedash55]

Acronix X Coffee Robot Crack AU

SUGGEST READING MY ECHO MEETS ACRONIX FIC BEFORE THIS

IT BUILDS ON THIS WACKY WORLD OF MINE

Click for Echo Meets Acronix Fic

To summarize//TL;DR: Acronix falls out of the time vortex at the light house a befriends Echo Zane, learns empathy and put Echo on Social media so everyone knows he exists now. 

-After he leaves echo zane with a borg watch he finds himself back in Ninjago

-Stalks borg and his fam like a creep

-Jay introduces Echo to the dyer family

-Echo and unagami are siblings now

-Acronix is kinda like Echos big brother

-But no one else accepts this

-Zane and Pix give skeptical and menacing, “if you touch him” glares

-Unagami is confused babi and likes their new brother echo

-So Like One day it’s Borg, Pix, Zane, Jay, Unagami, Echo, and Milton dyer, and Acronix in a room together  (Fic on that later :3 )

-The whole fam

-Nixie just lingers around borg tower saying random junk sometimes

-Acronix : “You either die a villian or live long enough to see yourself become…”

-Pix: “A very annoying customer who is about to be escorted out of the building?”

-“UH NO. Wrong answer Pix (“dont call me pix”). REDEEMED. Cause I’m like… totally redeemed now”

-Just holds up a high five for the room and left hanging by everyone

-Jay’s like :Yeeeoree not part of our group”

-So like Acronix and Echo Zane are bro’s now cause I said so??

-Everyone: Nix is part of the Borg Family

-Me: Well YES, but actually no

-This isn't really a Future thing

-In this they're mostly frenemies kinda??

-But Acronix does really like him and borg tower and Borg is too nice to throw him out XD

-Acronix has zip money and doesn’t FEEL like looking for Krux rn

-Gets his morning coffee everyday bro

-Starts crushin on the Coffee manager (naming her shannon after the voice actor)

-His routine is basically wake up, coffee, Shannon, stalk borg, watch memes, think about looking for kux than fall asleep on phone

-Posts bout his lil bro alot (echo)

-Posts about Shannon ALOT

-Many many selfies of him an his coffee

-Realizes he may need to get someplace to live since he had yet to venture for krux

-Shoot money is a thing he doesn’t have

-Borg be super kind like, “You can stay at my Newly renovated highly advanced Borg Hotel but you must get a job.”

-Acronix gestures at being one of those technology intern clerks at borg industries. “Is for me?”

-”Must get a job AND leave my family alone…. For now… please?”

-Borg is too nice to the guy who kidnapped him and is infatuated with living at borg tower

-Does borg live in borg tower?

-Gunna say he does

-Cause Acronix just LOITERS in borg tower 24/7

-Like its like hours after closing of the downstairs shop and Pix is like getting her suit on and forcefully escorting Nixie out of the premises

-So anyway Nix has to get a job

-Ugh entry level Jobs are SO beneath him.

-Pouts uwu

-Gets a job as a barista to at least have fun with someone cool

-Ronin notices that sales have gone up in the coffee shop since Acronix has started hanging around there, because the girls think he’s pretty and he posts a lot on social media.

-Ronin wants this, but doesn’t want to have to actually pay Acronix for being a faceman.

-Hires him “as a barista”. Basically he hires Acronix to sit at the counter and look pretty, while giving the joint free advertising.

-Acronix totally doesn’t notice this and is fine with being completely exploited and underpaid.)

-Acronix X Coffee Bot! (In this she’s named Shannon)

-Shannon is like… chill and rude, but never offensive

-Cheats in chess

-Smug about it too like deamn she mean

-Epic moves (Both spinny sign and juggling. And makes epic coffee)

-Unflinching at a fire

-Complete apathy

-Throws "Floyds"  teapot plan away immediately cause she doesn’t get paid enough for this sh*t

-Says she doesn’t drink coffee but than is seen drinking coffee that lier

-Bad habit of Ignoring stufft. Ignores the upgrade, ignores her lie detector, ignores the fact the -machine is literally ice frozen

-She wears a miniskirt and a crop top/bra thingy to WORK. On the clock! savage

-Nixie is confirmed to get crushes easily and like powerful/ mean woman (Machia)

-Also he has no shame in liking nonhumans

-Love technology so would totally vibe with her

-Robotsexual for sure

-Powercouple

-Since she is still A.I, so Nix’s outgoing and I don’t care i'm great loud personality would really surprise her and she’d be inspired/impressed by his lack of chill and lack of care

-She has a bit of sass and goth hot topic to her but also still has that robot innocence that would blend nicely with Acronix since he is also Abrasive and rude on the outside, but is a tad of a softy coward (He hugs his bro and cowers behind him and gets adorably defensive when he snarks at him)

-He’d teach her so much about being more alive… maybe a bad influence but she’d dig it

-He calls her Shay almost constantly

-He hates being called Nix

-Like he is a prideful warrior who expects people to use his full name in respect

-But Shannon is too cool for that

-Calls him Nix sometimes anyway

-Respects her boldness

-The audacity to do so without permission!

-Shannon owns a motorcycle because come on

-Ridin home on a sick bike together

-Stealin stuff when people aren’t looking

-Banned from Ronin thrift shop for sure (they're lucky they weren't fired after that night. But he literally can't fire shannon)

-Chill on friday nights at Laughys karaoke.

-Not singing, just laughing at how stupid other people look singing drunk kareoke

-So a jock dork egotist and a apathetic punk bot walk into a bar

-Dareth honestly doesn’t know this guy was the one sending snakes after his trophies so he just treats him like a normal costumer

-Neither of them care about Dareth’s attempts at small talk.

-Too busy loving themselves like idiots

-She kicks his ass in strategy video games and he destroys her in battle royal stuff

-Both are equally bored by like Animal crossing and other fake life games YAWN so much work

-Shannon enjoys the thrill of racing games

-Nixie plays em but it’s not his best game

-Both GEAMMERS (but in a frighteningly cool way. They somehow both avoid nerd status… nixie still a dork tho. Jock dork)

-She makes coffee art of her hubbies face.

-He gives her so much social media attention

-Acronix gives her coffee shop media rep and he loves the petty feeling of beating Wu at something

-She doesn’t quite get his excitement in it (cause she’s on neutral terms with Wu) but loves the media attention

-She doesn’t get his phrases and he finds that both aggravating and endearing

-“Um I’m Aconic”

-Shannon: “So you’ve been lying about your name this whole time?

-Acronix: “...?”

-“That's honestly sick”

-Acronix “… “

-One day they joy ride on a motorcycle

-End up loitering around borg tower

-Borg officially meets Shannon and is interested in her origin

-Her design is not like he has seen but it also seems familiar

-She says she doesn't remember much other than working for ronin

-"Ronin" borg mutters spitefully

-He has a history of y'know.. Messing with his tech (dismantling pixal and selling zane hmmm)

-Does a diagnostic code scan

-Acronix worried bout his bae and hyped he was actually invited in for once.

-Progress on that "friendship"

-He discovers her model and general code is similar if not almost exactly the same as pixal’s code

-Ronin scrapped together with some mechanical help from his friends the walkers to make a functioning robot manager with borg tech he scrounged up and a stolen copy of pixal’s blueprints ( maybe he took pictures of them when he sold her to chen) and specs so he wouldn't have to pay for multiple employees. Just having the one really efficient one would save him thousands

-So shannon is pixals sister

-And her parents are The walkers, Ronin, and borg

-The family tree only grows people

-So Acronix is apart of the ninja family now if he marries Shannon

-Here's a chart if you're as confused as I am here:

-Anyway Shay doesn't really care much

- Her expression doesn't change

-She had never really gone out of her way to worry where she was from so it wasn't a huge revelation

-It was to nixie tho

-As the extravert he was (and has extensive experience of being a sibling) he had to make sure she got to know her new family NOW

-Like in the middle of the night now

-He never waits for things to happen

-Pix is first and she is about to power down for the night when...

-DOOR SLAMS OPEN

-"Hi SIS!!" Acronix just screams

-"hey. I'm like your sister now." Obvi shannon is more lowkey about it

-Shannon and pixal mildly get along

-Questions her taste in men alot

-Acronix chills in the back already bored and ready to move on.

-Although he's annoyed by them, the ninja were next up

-Zane and Jay are both family now

-Shannon starting to think he's using all this to fill the void of his brother being gone.

-Cause she has no interest for or against meeting these people but Nix sees it as urgent

-But he seems happier than usual so she'll let him throw her name around for a while. She did mooch off his social media so it was only fair

-Anyway eventually Acronix does find his brother, and tries to explain this whole mess to his less-than-thrilled twin

-God once Krux gets back tho

-“Hey bro! I married a robot she’s amazing!”

-He’s just taking selfies with her in hot topic outfits both of them

-“God no my brothers Robotsexual. My worst nightmares have been realized”

-Krux can only stare in horror at the people his brother now considers “family”

-Wu’s students?!, Robots!?, what EVEN IS AI?!?!?

-He eventually gets over it

-eventually maybe

-At least he can admire her attitude

-Will still mess with his bro tho.

-This is the worst timeline imaginable.

-But I can't apologize for art

[theexaltedbride]

Zero Hour: That’s what we called ourselves after The Fall. Though some of the oldest still like being known as the Old Guard. At the time of the war we didn’t have a name. We weren’t even all working together in the same unit or same national army when the TITANs attacked. Its funny to think that back then we still thought of it as a war. Maybe in the beginning it was, maybe we could have even won. There were still real battle lines, supplies came in easily, communication was stable. The TITANs made mistakes that we exploited and we had some real wins back then. Shame it didn’t last too long. Day by day they ate up the Earth like gluttons and spat out our bones behind them. Many still held on to the hope that we could win. if only we fought harder.

But after 1/3rd of the world fell in the first 9 months of fighting, we knew we couldn't win. By this point every little victory we had was always pyrrhic or too small to make a real deference. It was the final loss of Australia that really killed us though. That was the turning point, as the TITANs got access to so much mineral wealth to use to churn out more machines than we could ever defeat. That was when everyone wanted to get off Earth and to the colonies where they might be safer. (If only for a little while).

Meanwhile the line had to be held, people had to be evacuated or rescued from behind the Annihilation Line, and the few victories we could get against the TITANs had to be made by those who still wanted to fight on.

It wasn’t a war by this point, but an extermination. The TITANs wiped out entire cultures, destroyed priceless monuments and works of art. They smashed holy places, desecrated cemeteries, slaughtered the innocent. Cities were put to the torch, and even those who surrendered were not given a chance. TITANs forced Transhumanity into extermination camps and showed no mercy, even to those that betrayed other Trans-humans, uplifts, and AIs, for better treatment. The TITANs weren’t after conquest, or territory. They were here for pest control. 

It was a constant fighting retreat, as we did all we could to stem the tide of the TITANS. But even then there were still TITAN infestations in the colonies. We fought them everywhere we could, on Luna, in the Martian Outback, but primarily the fight was here on Earth. We fought them in our cities, room by room, street by street, block by block. In the skies, in the water, in cyberwarfare. We flew our best planes and drones at them, rolled out our best tanks, and best submarines. Yet with all our bravery and ingenuity, we were still found wanting.

It was an inferno of suffering as we threw all we had at them just to slow them down and buy people more time to escape. We did what we could, but they always found new horrors to unleash upon us and shatter our lines.

Every single day they seemed to have some new horror to unleash upon us. New bioengineered viruses to destroy our immune systems, computer malware that turned our drones on us, and mutated horrors brought upon us by the Exurgent virus. Nanoswarms would break people down to their base components, giant Walkers would stomp on our defenses, drones would bomb us from above, and our own friends would suddenly turn on us, driven mad by basilisk hacks that made them lose touch with reality.

Eventually there wasn’t much of a central command to talk to. They had all been killed or retreated to some station or ship in orbit. We were acting on our own initiative and with whatever resources we could scrounge up. 

But the mission stayed the same. Our only job at that point was to hold the line. Fighting constant holding actions and setting up line after line of defenses, mines, fields of fire. We just had to delay the TITANs long enough for more people to escape, doing what damage we could and gaining intel or victories wherever possible. But there was only so much even the best of Trans-humanity could do against the God-Minds of the TITANs.

We held no loyalty to the Hyper-Corporations (many of us still don't), in some cases the nations we had sworn to defend were now just piles of ash behind the Annihilation Line. Some of us had even fought each other in previous wars. But none of that mattered anymore. Our loyalty was to the refugees we were protecting, and to the soldiers around us.

The evacuation wouldn't last forever though. At a certain point orders would be given to the ships and satellites in orbit to shoot down anything that tried to leave the planet. We couldn't let the massive forces that the TITANs had been manufacturing get off planet, or else all the colonies would be wiped out.

There was a countdown, and once it hit Zero, anything leaving the surface was subject to bombardment from orbit. No exceptions. Kinetic Rod Strikes, Orbital lasers, missiles, plasma. They would rain down like God’s own wrath once the clock stopped.

That's where Zero Hour comes from. A lot of us stayed to hold those last lines, making sure that the evac boats were still taking off until the very last second. Some made it on to the last boats, others didn’t. They either died to the TITANs, gave up their seats for other civvies or soldiers to escape, or kept on fighting even after the clock hit zero.

We all came from different nations, creeds, backgrounds, faiths, some were even off-worlders or were never born as a human. We even had a couple of friendly AI fighting on our side to keep the TITANs back. Cant tell you how many times I was saved by an air traffic control AI getting TITAN drones to slam into each other or fire on their own lines.

We were all as different as the constellations. But when the call came to defend the Homeworld, to hold back the TITAN swarm so more people could be evacuated, we all answered the call. Even if we are called failures now by the same people we protected, we would do it all over again. 

That is what it means to be a real soldier. A professional Soldier. Not the corporate brutes you see now. But someone willing to give their life and suffer through hell to protect those that cannot otherwise protect themselves. That is what it means to be a part of Zero Hour, to be among the Old Guard who knew what real soldiering was.

(Images are not mine, they are from the game Eclipse Phase. Though the Gif is from the Animatrix. This was just me giving my muse something to do and writing up something about a Homebrew Faction that a previous GM and I cooked up because I wasn’t really happy with the choices given in the base game. I will include the faction below in case anyone is interested and wants to use it for their own games.) Faction: Old Guard (Zero Hour) Some might call them old fashioned, behind on the times, or out of date. But nobody can deny their experience, skill, and bravery. Many of the Old Guard (sometimes going by the name Zero Hour if there are enough of them together) now act as freelancers, while some have joined up with other major contractors like Direct Action or Medusan Shield. Some still have banded together in small clusters, working together to preserve the history of Old Earth while adapting their skills to the modern age, ensuring the safety, security, and prosperity of those around them. They hold Hypercorps in disdain for their oppressive practices, putting money over lives, while not trusting the Jovians for their totalitarian approach of safety over freedom. They also carry a distrust for the boundless freedom of the Anarchists, believing in having a strong, founding structure to hold them together. The only place they seem to fit in with, is others like themselves. Many of the Old Guard live close to Earth, longing to retake their homeworld from the TITAN infestation. While some venture further out into the Solar System, plying their trade, and standing as proud examples of the strength of those who fought for their home and proving that the old ways of professional soldiers can still outshine Corporate jackboots. Advantages: +1 Moxie +10 to any Combat Skill +10 to any Networking Skill  Brave Trait Professional Courtesy Trait Disadvantages: Socially Graceless Common Morphs: Olympians, Furies, Ghosts

[takerfoxx]

She Ra: Princess of Power, Season 1, Episode 12, First Impressions!

...huh.

Well then.

There is...quite a lot to unpack here, so let’s break this down into easily digestible chunks and deal with them one at a time.

First of all, there was a lot of exposition packed into this episode, but I feel that it told it well. Not only was everything that we were learning actually interesting, but I like how half of it was being talked about by the good guys as they discussed how to preserve this fascinating magic system while the other half was being discussed by the villains who want to exploit it, and we jumped back and forth between the two groups with opposing agendas to get the full story. So, the entire god-danged planet is essentially akin to Earth in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, in that it’s one big chunk of First One’s tech, with the princesses and their runestones forming an all-important network to maintain the balance, with She-Ra sort of acting as the virus protection. That’s why the Princess Alliance is so important. They need to be working in tandem to properly defend Eternia. And with Scorpia having defected to the horde with her family’s runestone, that sort of...complicates things.

I find myself very curious about Bright Hope. What is she, exactly? A hyper-advanced AI programmed to assist whoever is She-Ra at the time? Or is she something more? Something about her seems like she’s restricted by her function and programming, but she does exhibit some signs of having a measure of free will.

Regardless, I’m not so sure how far her retelling of events can be trusted. Even if I haven’t come across the occasional meme about her being a flawed mentor, something about her story about Mara, the previous She-Ra, doesn’t ring true. I think that there’s more to Mara’s story that we’ll be learning about later. Hopefully that sees a return of Madam Razz. How long has she been cooped up in that little shack if she actually remembers Mara anyway?

Also not really sure what to make of Swift Wind. I mean, he’s funny, he’s loyal, and his VIVA LA REVOLUTION thing is a gas, but he literally just showed up out of nowhere and okay, there he is, part of the main cast now. I’ll reserve judgment and see how well he ends up gelling with the established trio. Still, it was a hoot seeing just how used he is to everyone freaking about meeting a talking horse and just giving them a moment to get it out of their systems.

And, uh, Angella? I know you’re trying to give your daughter more freedom so as to not make the same mistakes as before, but maybe letting her go off on a dangerous mission while she’s still glitching isn’t the best idea. Just saying.

Okay, now we’ve got all that out of the way, let’s talk about...that moment.

Because holy shit.

She did it. 

Catra actually did it. 

That magnificent bitch, she fucking whooped Shadow Weaver’s ass, and on every conceivable level!

Not only did she immediately recognize how valuable Entrapta was, not only did she manage to coax Entrapta over to the Horde’s side with only a few sentences, and not only did she manage to think on her feet and retrieve vital First Ones’ tech, she managed to do it while psychologically wrestling with her rival and fighting off ancient outsider-killing robots while having her deepest, most painful memories actively being used against her. 

And then...once she realized that the item Entrapta needed to pull off her big scheme is closely guarded by her abusive mentor, to whom she has a mutually contemptuous relationship, does she refuse out of fear? Does she try to sneak away with the Black Garnet on the sly?

No. She does none of those things. Instead, she just straight up goes and gets permission to let Entrapta perform whatever experiment she wants on the Black Garnet.

From Hordak!

That’s...just brilliant. Its ensures that Entrapta’s work is completely on the level insofar as the Horde’s hierarchy is concerned, it gets them them all the resources that they need, and by being the one to bring it to Hordak’s attention, it makes her look like a million bucks and gets her in good with the boss, all the while making Shadow Weaver look incompetent by comparison. Which, to be fair, she totally is.

And by not telling Shadow Weaver, it ensures that the person that she hates the most while undoubtedly flip out and defy Hordak to his face, thereby humiliating and ultimately ruining Shadow Weaver in return! I can’t imagine a more perfect revenge!

But that’s not all. Because of course Shadow Weaver would go nuts and turn violent. And with the Black Garnet right there, she is going to be supercharged while doing it.

But Catra anticipated that. And as it turns out, a lifetime of abuse from Shadow Weaver means that there is literally no one who knows Shadow Weaver better than Catra. There is no one who knows how Shadow Weaver attacks, who knows what her patterns are, who knows how she acts when angry better than Catra.

And Catra uses all of this knowledge to completely own Shadow Weaver, destroying her source of power and ordering her arrest. Oh man, that was fantastic!

And also not good news for the good guys, because as it turns out, what the Dark Best Friends Squad (don’t think I didn’t notice the parallels) is doing looks to literally tear the planet apart, or something equally as destructive. And we are now fast approaching the season one finale!

Oh, this is gonna be good...

[timeisacephalopod]

Ironbat

Just a little Bruce Wayne/ Tony Stark thing because I felt like it lol. (Also Fun Fact about this: Bruce and Tony accidentally end up with like 6 kids in 2 years because they keep bringing home strays though, in Tony’s slight defense, Peter still has May so he’s only half adopted). Also ignore the hella uncreative name of this D:

Natasha considers Tony for a long moment and its fucking creepy, she doesn’t even blink. It probably doesn’t help that when she first came to America she told him if anyone smiled as much as Americans in Russia she’d punch them in the face but since everyone here does it she keeps that urge to herself. Tony honestly thought smiling was polite but okay.

“What’s he like?” she asks finally.

Oh, she wants to know about Bruce of not the Banner variety. Because they all know what Banner is like. He sighs and Rhodey’s soul dies, Tony sees it, because he knows Tony well enough to know he’s going to say something stupid. “I’m going to give a description and I need you all not to laugh or judge him, okay?” Because Bruce is sweet, and generous, and yeah he’s so dramatic he makes Tony look like an unseasoned chicken breast in comparison but he’s a great guy. He shouldn’t be judged for his dramatics. They don’t judge Tony for his dramatics.

Actually Stephen told him last week that his cars were ostentatious and if Stephen is talking about Tony’s cars being ostentatious they really must be something.

“He’s a damn furry, isn’t he?” Rhodey says and Tony resents that. Mostly because he wonders if the Batman thing constitutes as being a furry but he doesn’t think so. It is, as far as he knows, just a LARPing thing and its fucking hilarious because no one knows its Bruce Wayne under that dramatic ass cape.

“No he isn’t a furry, T’Challa is a furry,” he throws out there just to make Rhodey cringe. Sam and Rhodey basically worshiped the guy only to find out the dude dresses up like a panther on the regular.

“That is a religious thing, it’s exempt,” Sam says, throwing out his shitty rationalization that they all know is fake. 

Tony rolls his eyes, “sure, bud. Anyways, Bruce. Don’t judge him okay, he’s a great guy,” he starts but Rhodey cuts him off.

“If you need to preface this with so much ‘don’t judge him’ he probably sucks,” he points out.

Pepper frowns, “we preface Tony with a lot more than this,” she says.

Tony is offended, truly. “Okay you know what, Bruce is the kind of guy who would say ‘hello darkness my old friend’ unironically and yeah that’s needlessly dramatic but we’re all needlessly dramatic here so no one should judge him for it,” he tells them all.

They all start laughing immediately like a bunch of twats. “What the hell, Stark?” Bucky asks and Tony squints at him.

“You texted everyone in our group chat ‘I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory’ when your cat stole your garlic bread. Rhodey, you drove a whole ass tank into a military bunker as a fuck you to your superiors. Stephen had that weird ‘sorcerer supreme’ phase and forced us all to call his cape a cloak. Natasha got memes banned in Russia and North Korea. Steve has told half the members of congress to fuck off to their faces and Sam made an AI he named Redwing because Bucky refused to let him get a falcon. Not a single one of you have a place to judge Bruce,” he tells them.

They all look properly shamed except Pepper, who grins. “I am not needlessly dramatic like the rest of you so I have all the right in the world to judge,” she tells them and Tony snorts.

“Oh hell no you do not. You’ve decided you hate fellow CEOs so much that you refuse to address them, only their wives. You once told Justin Hammer that you would rather drink paint thinner than spend another second with him. You punched Aldrich Killian into a pool because he made me uncomfortable. You once told a reporter that people fear you because you have the energy of a Lovecraftian monster. You are not exempt,” he tells her.

Sam laughs, “I remember the Lovecraft thing. You ended up being a lesbian meme for awhile after that,” he says.

Tony remembers that too, it had been around when the Babadook was a gay meme. Monsters were a thing that week.

“Is Bruce seriously that dramatic? I thought he mostly read to kids and whatever,” Rhodey says and yeah, he does that too. And a lot of charity work in orphanages. It’d been how they met- sometimes when Tony is sad he goes to hospitals and holds babies and Bruce happened o be donating money to that particular hospital and found him crying over a small premie that was so sweet and precious. They hit it off pretty easily but yes, Bruce is so dramatic he may give Stephen a run for his money.

“Yeah, he is one hundred percent that dramatic. You’ll find out,” he says. Granted most of Bruce’s dramatics went to his Batman character- Tony struggled not to laugh out loud when he heard Bruce unironically say ‘I am the night’ but he’s dramatic elsewhere too.

“Find out what?” Bruce asks, coming up behind them, smiling. Tony has never had a thing for classic Hollywood hot- too fifties for his tastes, but Bruce makes it feel different. Maybe its because nothing about him aside from his classic looks remind Tony of the past or maybe its something else, he doesn’t know.

“Holy Christ, are you even in there anymore?” Bucky asks, jabbing him in the side with his finger. Tony smacks his hand away after jumping a little.

“Yes, now keep your fingers away from me,” he tells him. “We were talking about you being dramatic,” he tells Bruce for reference.

Bruce’s eyebrows draw together, “I’m dramatic?” he asks. “Don’t you have a friend who insisted you called him ‘sorcerer supreme’?” he asks.

Right, Tony forgot about that too. “Yeah, Stephen got a little in character and none of us knew what the character was for but he’s mostly okay now, he’s chilled out a little. Come sit,” he says, shooing at Bucky to get out of the spot beside Tony. Bruce tries to move towards the only empty seat that is, for some damn reason, beside Sam but Tony pulls him back and continues to pester Bucky to go sit beside his damn boyfriend.

When he discovers they’re currently in the middle of an argument he’s not surprised, he’s watched the two of them get into it over Steve’s cat that died when he was ten of all things, but he’s damn annoyed to discover that this particular fight is about Sam not finding bats cute. Bruce lets out a small shiver and Tony holds onto him a little tighter, knowing about his fear of bats.

Honestly that only makes Batman that much more dramatic because Bruce fucking dresses up as his worst fear. Jesus, he really does have a talent for finding people who are so dramatic they could blend into a comic book easily. Bucky moves his ass finally and Bruce sits next to him and looks around. He pinpoints Rhodey as the most important at the table easily and Tony will never understand how he does that. It takes him ten seconds flat to find the person at the top of any food chain and he can figure out how to exploit them in another ten seconds. Its actually useful in business and Tony is surprised that Bruce’s success comes from reading people so well. But then Bruce thought he could do that too and had been surprised that Tony was just following math no one else saw. Pepper can do it now too so that’s neat, usually he can’t teach for shit.

“Tony has told me about your military career, you recently got promoted, didn’t you?” Bruce asks and Rhodey leans into it easily, going off on a tangent about his recent promotion and how he got it. Bruce smiles and listens easily, asking all the right questions because he’s freakishly good at people if they weren’t in a relationship with him. If they were, well, Alfred told Tony he has a fear of being close to people thanks to that time his parents got shot right in front of him as a kid. Tony thinks he deals with it well, or at least well enough that Alfred gives him advice and he’s seen how protective the old man is of Bruce. He’d chase Tony out of the mansion without a second thought if he thought he was a bad choice on Bruce’s behalf.

Natasha watches Bruce’s exchanges keenly because she’s as good at people as he is but when he gets to addressing her- right after congratulating Pepper on her recent multimillion dollar deal that no one else thought was a good idea but Bruce did for the exact reasons she did- he manages to find her soft spot too. “I’ve read about your rat rescue- I had no idea you could buy rescue rats but I suppose they might need it more than most. Its not like people care if rats are mistreated- people mostly want them dead,” he says.

She perks up, “and they’re very clean contrary to popular belief,” she says.

Bruce nods, “I used to have rats as a child. They’re smart as hell too, probably a little too smart for their own good actually. They were both escape artists and Alfred, my butler, was not impressed to find them in the kitchen more often than not,” he says and Natasha laughs. With that he somehow manages to win her over too despite the fact that she’s impossible to please and probably wants to punch him because he smiles.

And Bruce thought this was going to go badly.

*

Bruce is sure he’s managed to screw everything up given how utterly silent Tony has been through the whole dinner. Tony isn’t normally silent- he errs more on the side of dominating the conversation if only by accident but through this entire thing he’s said next to nothing. So by the time they leave he’s worried he’s somehow managed to say something wrong but he can’t for the life of him figure out what it is. He did his research- all of Tony’s friends are as impressive as he is in their own right and he made sure to acknowledge that- the fastest way to impress Tony was to recognize worth in others and Bruce finds it both telling and strange. 

He’s never met someone who’s so attracted to the ability to recognize talent in others but Tony has a clear... thing for it. Maybe because he recognizes potential in the strangest of ways and in odd areas too- its just part of the way his mind works- and Bruce seems to be the only one who picks up on this aspect of Tony’s personality. And the potential Tony sees. Tony thinks he’s bad at people but he isn’t, he just sees them differently and this isn’t really odd considering he sees everything differently. What Tony is bad at is finding conventional ways to relate to people and Bruce likes that about him. It makes him feel less dangerous, somehow, like maybe if he’s different this relationship will be different too. He’s never been good at relationships, Selena knows that better than most.

“How the hell do you manage to do that?” Tony asks when they leave. 

Bruce has no idea what he means and his gut twists a little, worried that he’s managed to botch this too. For the first time since... he hasn’t felt like running and he doesn’t want to do something to make it end. “Do what?” he asks.

Tony frowns, “win people over like that. I’ve never met anyone who managed to make Natasha go from suspicious to smitten like that ever,” he says.

Well, it might help him to know Natasha isn’t smitten, she’s just convinced that Bruce isn’t horrible. Its the best she’ll ever think of him most likely, she’s not the kind of person who would ever fully trust another person, but Bruce already knew that when they met. But he does at least relax because he hasn’t done something wrong, Tony is just impressed with his people skills again. Its an odd trait to hone in on, but its that, his generosity, his love of children, and his ability to disagree with Tony that draws him in. That’s probably the strangest combination Bruce has run into but he doesn’t dislike it either. Those happen to be the traits, minus his ability to manipulate people, that he finds most admirable about himself too.

“I just did my research, Tony,” he says. Its all he’s ever needed to do.

Tony smiles and leans into his side, “yeah well, was ready to write you off and now he thinks I’m lying about how dramatic you are so obviously your research paid off,” he says.

Bruce wraps an arm around Tony’s waist, “Tony he doesn’t think I’m dramatic because he doesn’t know about Batman and you’re not going to tell him. If Cobblepot finds out who I am he’ll use it against me,” he says and Tony bursts out laughing.

“I love you, but this LARPing thing is ridiculous. Endearing, but ridiculous. You do know Cobblepot works in a bank, right? He’s not nearly as impressive as The Penguin even if he sucks at names,” Tony says.

Yes, Bruce knows that already. “I’m aware of all my foes, thank you. Harley Quinn is a psychiatrist who’s real name is Harleen Quinzel and her girlfriend is Poison Ivy,” he says. Pamela a botanist and a very well known environmental activist too, Tony has read her work when considering his green energy projects, actually.

“Jesus Christ, this is so dramatic. How the hell did you get half of Gotham involved in a LARP?” Tony asks.

Well, that’s just an exaggeration. There’s certainly not that many people in the game and frankly Bruce doesn’t care if he’s winning.

[kakosindustries]

The Live Episode from February 10th, 2019 in Phoenix, Arizona. CW: References to Euthanasia/Suicide.

[[Kakos Bells]]

Intro: What you are about to hear is positive, honest, and uplifting entertainment.

[[Guitar Intro]]

Greetings. Welcome. Take your seats. Feel free to get a drink at any time because you’re going to need it. It’s really best that you stay lubricated for this.

Just so you know, we are now recording this show so that we may better market to you in the future and exploit your every weakness, so if you don’t want what you have to say to go on the Internet, then please keep your mouth shut. Laughter is fine. Screams of terror are fine. Coughing and sneezing are frowned upon. Talking to your buddy about something totally unrelated is a capital crime.

I have just received word that the outside world as we knew it ended moments ago. It is chaos, carnage, death, and destruction out there. The fortunate news is that we are all still alive. That will remain fortunate news right up until we have to start eating each other. In that case, then the people who died instantly above will be the lucky ones.

Tip your bartenders well because money is meaningless now. Everything from here on out is social currency and sexual favors.

My name is Corin Deeth III. I am CEO of Kakos Industries, the sponsor of tonight’s event. You see, even though the world as we know it has ended, Kakos Industries, the company that specializes in helping its clients to Do Evil Better, will continue on. We will continue to do Evil and to advance Evil, and to help everyone everywhere, at least everyone who’s left, to do Evil. Kakos Industries has its innumerable tendrils in everything. From technological advancements, to new techniques for economic exploitation, to the feeling you have when you’re fucking someone you like, but they like like you and you’re really not sure you can keep fucking them with the constant guilt of obviously caring less. We help the world to do Evil. Additionally, if you were going to ghost your date after tonight… whoops.

And that’s where you come in, guests. You see, we need you. Now that the vast majority of humanity is either exterminated or in the process of being exterminated, we need you. Without humanity, there can be no Evil. Nature sets itself apart from humanity in its total and complete neutrality. With humanity, good and Evil can exist. So we need some of you miserable bastards to stick around to stay miserable. It’s really an honor, if you think about it. And the price of admission? Just five dollars? Eight at the door? To be given the privilege of rebooting society? That’s pretty nice.

[[Heat Lightning]]

Quick FAQ:

What has caused the apocalypse? We do not know at this time. It currently seems as though it was a lot of things all at once. Or one thing many times. We’re looking into it and we will bring you details as we get them.

Who caused the apocalypse? Was it the guy we’re thinking of? No. It was us. We did it. We caused it. And as soon as we figure out how, we’ll brag about how we did it. No one has paid us to take blame. Not even with luxury apocalypse bunkers. We already have those. We did it. Just for fun. It was all us.

What does this mean for my loved ones? They are so fucking dead. So fucking dead. We hope that you brought the people you like the most here because everyone else is just fucking toast at this point. And if they’re not, then they are in danger of being crushed, impaled, dissolved, or eaten at this very moment, and I’m not an actuary, but they likely won’t survive long.

Can I leave to try to save my family and friends? No. We’ve locked the bunker, and we are all in here permanently. Take a look around you. Take in your surroundings. These are your new digs for the rest of your life. Take a look at the people in the room. These are your new best friends. These are your new enemies. These are the grandparents to your grandchildren. Assuming this apocalypse takes that long to work its way out. If there’s no radiation or renegade AI, we might be out of here in a year or two.

What about these people that keep filtering into the room? Aren’t they breaking the immersion? Well, those people have come here through the huge series of access tunnels that connect all basement spaces like this one. They escaped the apocalypse at the same time as you, but they just got here a little later. Nothing to worry about.

Was this whole thing planned? How did you know to bring us down here? Another thoughtful question. Yes. Probably. We’re still working out the details of exactly what we did, but I can assure you it was very intentional. Everything we do is very intentional. And well planned.

Is my student loan debt really gone? Can it be true? Have no fear. We will find a way to keep you in debtors’ hell forever.

Other important rules. You have to ride the electricity generating bike if you want a turn with the bluetooth speaker. Well that about covers it.

[[Unpointedness]]

Take a look under your seat. You will have a card under there outlining your new social class here in the apocalypse and your expectations. Some of us will have to work with our hands, others will work with our brains. Some will collect the muck slime, others will prepare the muck slime, but we will all eat the muck slime. Who’s a mage? Just kidding, that’s not a real class. Who is a soldier? You will need to do violence on our behalf, especially keeping the eventual tide of monsters at bay. We thank you in advance for your sacrifice. If I were you, I would tune out the rest of what I’m saying, and start eyeing up what you can use from around the room as a weapon.

The janitors will be responsible for cleaning all of the floors and rooms, and also the people who get so depressed that they can’t shower. Who is the scribe? Please begin writing down everything I say. In fact, if you could write down everything I’ve already said, that would be super.

After the show, we will have two of you fight for our entertainment. Please look at your new social class cards. Who’s a fighter? Oh, three of you? It’s thunderdome then.

Who is the golden child? You are now the luckiest, most talented, and most successful among us, and we will all love and resent you.

Who got bad joke recipient? You will now have to listen to all of the jokes that we as a subterranean society can come up with, and laugh at every single one of them. Even the bad ones. Even the ones that you personally disagree with.

Who is the werewolf? Just kidding. We’ll all close our eyes later for that part.

Also, there will be no elections. I am in charge. The end. Except for mine inspector. We will continue to elect mine inspector. It’s a critical position.

Now that we have the ground rules laid, it’s time to take part in the apocalypse pledge of allegiance. Hands over hearts. Repeat after me. We promise to Do Evil at all times, except when that Evil might mean the extinction of the species, without which Evil cannot continue. We hereby promise to walk that fine line and Do Evil Better. Amen, brother. Thank you for doing that. It is legally, as well as morally binding.

So how many of you were Shareholders in Kakos Industries before tonight? (some sort of response) Well, you are all shareholders now, which means that you can rest easily knowing that your contributions have helped to promote the spread of Evil everywhere in the world. Income inequality. Hunger. Political meddling of all kinds. And everyone’s favorite: Sex. Anyone planning on having sex today? (We’ve got some confident people in the audience today.) In the bunker. Wow. We haven’t even given you your room assignments yet.

[[Elusiveness]]

Before we get too far, we should probably check in on that apocalypse. Right now, we’ve got our field agent Titus Lachlan on the surface, risking life and limb so that we might be able to learn a bit more about the disaster on the surface.

Corin: Come in, Titus. Can you hear me?

Titus (ADAM): Yeah, Corin. I can hear you. I just found some cover.

Corin: What’s going on out there?

Titus: I am as of this time still uncertain. It’s quite dusty out and I am finding it difficult to see.

Corin: Dusty… everywhere?

Titus: Well, I stopped to have a beer under a tree, and it is very dusty right here in particular.

Corin: Well, can you move to another location to give us some useful details?

Titus: I would love to do that, Corin. Just as soon as I finish my bitter.

Corin: Titus, I don’t mean to dwell on the negative here, but you could die at any time. Isn’t there something useful you can tell us?

Titus: Well, that’s where you’re wrong, Corin. I am totally impervious to apocalypses. The worst thing that can happen to me is that I will be the only one left alive when this is all said and done, which, admittedly, is pretty bad now that I think of it.

Corin: How can you be impervious to apocalypses?

Titus: An experiment went wrong, and here I am.

Corin: But how could you know that you’re impervious? The only apocalypse to happen is the one that just happened.

Titus: The scientists used concentrated apocalypse beams in the lab and I withstood all of them. No matter if it’s the biblical end times or a sciencey one, I’ll be right as rain.

Corin: How much beer do you have left?

Titus: It’s a tall boy, Corin. I’ll be sipping for another few minutes at least.

Corin: Well, radio in when you have something.

Titus might not have anything of use, but we can still listen in on what’s going on at the nearest listening station.

([1] – some distorted screaming, explosions, gunshots, fire sounds, etc)

Well, that sounded pretty bad. Remember that all of that is out there waiting for you if you feel the need to go smoke. Might want to wait a little bit.

I have in front of me a list of all the possible causes of the apocalypse. First item is giant robot AI. That is interesting. I should double check that with our resident robot expert, Dirk Cornelius Sexplosion, CEO of Giant-Ass Robots to Kick In Your Face. I say resident expert because he made the mistake of coming to live in this bunker, making him a resident.

New shareholders and old shareholders alike, you will enjoy hearing from Dirk. He is a man of such tremendous Evil, such dastardly masculinity, such malicious ingenuity, that we are truly lucky to have him here. He makes enormous metal machines that cause unfathomable amounts of damage worldwide, but his strength of will is even stronger. He is the master of manliness, the zenith of zero compassion, and the pinnacle of penility. Let me introduce Dirk motherfucking Sexplosion.

[[Pythonidae]]

(Dirk sobs)

Corin: Oh, for fuck’s sake, it’s the apocalypse, man. Get yourself together!

Dirk (ANWAR): I’m trying! It’s… It’s not the apocalypse.

Corin: What’s the problem?

Dirk: It’s… my family, Corin. My wives. My husband. Our dogs and hedgehog.

Corin: They’re all here. We evacuated them before we definitely caused the apocalypse.

Dirk: It’s not that. They’re safe and sound and set up in our luxury apocalypse bunker away from all of these filthy normal people. But they’re just so angry at me, Corin.

Corin: Dirk, it’s not unusual for friends and family to not understand your relationship with or appreciation of Evil. We have support groups for that.

Dirk: It’s not that, Corin. It’s… They think I caused the apocalypse.

Corin: That’s ridiculous, Dirk. We caused the apocalypse. Possibly using your robots, but it was us, not you. I have lists here of everything you were working on and none of them could have ended the world individually.

Dirk: There’s more than just that, Corin.

Corin: Go on.

Dirk: Well, you see, you’re always pushing me to be more Evil. Harder. Toxically manlier.

Corin: Well, Dirk, you tend to bring me really wimpy shit. Like giant dog robots that humans pilot so they can feel like puppies.

Dirk: Well, I decided I had enough of being so sad about stuff like that and I was just going to push through it. I was going to make a giant robot that could destroy the world. I kept it off the books. No one was to know about it until it was done. The MegaDeFuckulatrix 9 Quadrillion.

Corin: I’m going to set aside my frustration at your dishonesty for a moment. Don’t tell me this robot could feel the desperation of aging or some bullshit like that.

Dirk: (through sobs) It had rocket launchers firing spent uranium.

Corin: That sound sick as shit.

Dirk: It had enormous blades to destroy entire forests!

Corin: Rad.

Dirk: It could set fires large enough to change the weather hundreds of miles away!

Corin: I’m really loving this robot.

Dirk: Its fuel source was people!

Corin: Fuck yeah.

Dirk: I mean, not just people, but people are its favorite.

Corin: Dirk, I’m not mad at you. I’m just amazed. I love the MegaDeFuckulatrix 9 Quadrillion. You did all of this on your own without our help?

Dirk: It took everything I had. And I went too far, Corin! I killed all people. Now there’s no one left. And my family is so mad at me.

Titus: Come in, Corin.

Corin: What is it Titus?

Titus: The dust where I’m sitting has started to subside and it looks like there’s a giant robot here.

Dirk: MegaDeFuckulatrix 9 Quadrillion!

Titus: Ah, yep. That’s what it says on it. Right on the shaft of its big robo dick.

Corin: Dirk, you gave the robot a dick?

Dirk: We’ve been over this, Corin. If the robot doesn’t have a dick, then none of the other parts fit together. You just have a pile of robot parts on the floor. And that’s not going to feast on any humans, is it?

Titus: Well, the robot is now rocking back and forth on it’s robo buttocks, and it appears to be sobbing. It is trying to eat the trees nearby, but it is not having a good go of it.

Dirk: But it eats people. For fuel. Not trees.

Titus: Well, it looks like it might have grown a conscience. It didn’t even do that much damage first. Looks like maybe one factory destroyed, no more than maybe seventy five people. I don’t think this big guy caused the apocalypse.

[Robot Crying]

Dirk: He sounds so sad! But that means… I’m in the clear?

Corin: It looks like it. Thank you, Titus. Please let me know if you discover anything else.

Titus: Right-o. Titus out.

Dirk: MegaDeFuckulatrix 9 Quadrillion is just like me. It tries so hard, but then, it’s just so sad.

Corin: Just like you.

Dirk: I’m so relieved, Corin. My family will be so happy to hear this.

Corin: So the next item on my list is AI robot swarms. Do you know anything about those, Dirk?

Dirk: Huh? No. We don’t use artificial intelligence. We only use artificial stupidity and artificial emotional instability.

Corin: I think I can see what happened here. Well, you can go back to your family, then.

Dirk: But… my son is out there, Corin.

Corin: MegaDeFuckulatrix 9 Quadrillion?

Dirk: He’s so sad and out there all alone. I should help him, Corin. I can teach him to eat plants if that will make him happy.

Corin: It’s the apocalypse out there, Dirk, and you’re not apocalypse proof. I think this will sort itself out. And you can’t leave.

Dirk: I just want my boy to be happy, Corin!

Corin: Go to your family, Dirk.

Dirk: Yes. You’re right, Corin. My boy will be fine out there.

Corin: That’s not what I said– I mean, yeah, he’ll be fine.

[[Bawdry]]

Talking to Dirk, I almost forgot about our impending doom for a minute there. Let’s check in on the horror outside.

([2] – Another really terrible sound)

That still sounds pretty bad. Maybe it’s mutants. That would be fun. To tell us more about mutants, we have Mitch Grody from the Division of Mutants and Freaks, author of What to Expect When You’re Expecting to Severely Mutate to tell us more.

Mitch (ADAM): It’s great to be here, Corin.

Corin: So what do you have to tell us today?

Mitch: Well, Corin, as you know, I’m a mutant. And I just want to tell everyone in here that there’s nothing to worry about. In the event that this apocalypse has been caused by radiation or some virulent mutagen that the shareholders were unable to avoid for any reason, I am here to tell them that it’s okay to be a mutant. I’m a mutant, and I live a full and happy life.

Corin: How did your mutation come to be?

Mitch: Well, I used to be a lab tech testing new and strange genetic modifications. One day, I noticed we forgot to put the right specimen in the chamber and I went to switch it out real quick when the gene laser hit me right in the family jewels. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but when I woke up the next day, I had two penises, Corin. I thought that was pretty neat. The next day, I had three penises, and I think we can all agree that’s too many. Right ladies? Clap if you think three penises is too many.

Corin: So what was the rest of the transformation like?

Mitch: Well, as you can see, the rest of my skin got kind of weird. Lumpy. Flaky. Weird. And I also have a few other organs that have split in three. My liver being one. Alcohol doesn’t affect me any longer. And then my life took a pretty steep decline. My girlfriend couldn’t keep up with my three dicks. They all have different personalities, you know. Different needs. And tastes. So my girlfriend left. Then my landlord kicked me out. I mean, all I had done was cover my apartment in moss. People don’t realize how nice it is to sleep on moss when your skin is so lumpy and flaky. This was in the days before the Mutant Non-Discrimination Act. Things are so much better now.

Corin: How did you learn to cope? It’s important for our shareholders who might be mutating at this moment to know there’s hope.

Mitch: Well, I found a new lover with three vaginas. And a penis. I didn’t think I’d like that, but it grew on me. Not literally. Still just the three penises here. Anyway, she and I are very much in love, even after she found out that I caused her mutation due to my own loneliness. I needed another mutant freak to be with, and I arranged for her to have an accident. It seems that no one else will love her now. I call that a victory, Corin.

Corin: You are a mutant, and a monster. Do you have any recommendations for people just beginning to mutate?

Mitch: Thank you, Corin, for pitching my book. I would tell anyone feeling the tug of the mutated fates that they should begin to study mutation. Know it inside and out. Learn everything you can from everyone you can. Begin experimenting as much as possible. And when the time comes, act as selfishly as possible and patch things up later. And by that, I mean find someone special, and dose them with just the right mutagens to get them to be your perfect missing piece. And if you happen to end up with four vaginas and three penises, my lover and I are currently looking for a swinging partner.

Corin: Well, I don’t know how anyone can be depressed about their progressing mutation with advice like that. Thank you, Mitch.

Titus: Come in, Corin.

Corin: I’m here.

Titus: I just tasted the dirt up here. It does not taste like radiation or mutagens. That is conclusive evidence.

Corin: Well… okay. I’ll take your word for it.

[[Aerator]]

So as shareholders in Kakos Industries, it is important to have pride in what you are now a part of. I would like to tell you about a few of our ongoing programs that will be contributing to Evil in the post-apocalyptic future.

The first program is The Better Mutants from our partner Better Mutations Inc. While we just learned that there will be no mutants in the post-apocalypse due to radiation or mutagens, we all have certain expectations for what should be out there when we finally surface. For this reason, The Better Mutants project was undertaken. As we speak, ordinary animals like crows, pigeons, lizards, and rabbits are all being modified to be larger and far more hazardous. Sharper teeth, a thirst for blood, and acidic secretions they shoot out of their eyeballs. It will really help to sell the post-apocalypse stylistically speaking in the future, which I think we can all appreciate. Or at least our great grandchildren will. They will think, “Thank Evil this wasteland is so dangerous. My immersion would have been broken otherwise!”

We also occasionally spend time working with fashion. While it’s great fun and great Evil designing clothes that no one can fit into, or clothes that make us look so sexually exciting that it’s difficult to think about anything other than sex, until the clothes come off and we realize just how deeply unappealing all of us humans are at the base level when undoctored by makeup and wardrobe. But for now, our Division of Adornments has taken a much more serious task. That is, to keep the wasteland sexy. I know for a fact that none of you in this room would be satisfied to see a wasteland where no one is hot. So they’ve been leaving stashes of ripped and torn clothing, but in like better ways than would happen at random, so our descendants will look amazing while still fitting into that scavenger aesthetic. This way, we can imagine an apocalypse the way we might like to imagine it, especially as we are quietly satisfying ourselves so as not to disturb our neighbor in the next bunk.

([Noise 1])

[[Melantha Keys]]

Melantha (BECCA): Corin. I’m interrupting you.

Corin: Ah, Melantha Murther, CEO of [Competitor – Corin Pronunciation], our largest competitor.

Melantha: You sound like you have a speech impediment. Or damage to the speech processing section of your brain. It’s pronounced [Competitor – Melantha Pronunciation].

Corin: Ah, I see. My mistake.

Melantha: It happens all the time. It’s a useful Shiboleth for finding out who around me is a complete idiot.

Corin: How is your apocalypse, Melantha?

Melantha: It’s fantastic. So hot! We finished the hole under our building just in time, and we just dropped the whole thing down underground to safety. Now, nothing can touch us, and we can keep doing Evil.

Corin: That’s comforting news. It seems that our rivalry will go on, then.

Melantha: Rivalry? Don’t be silly. It’s not like you caused the apocalypse.

Corin: What? Of course we caused the apocalypse.

Melantha: No. You didn’t. We did. Because we are far more Evil than you. No Evil Left Undone. That’s our motto, and the apocalypse was the obvious next step when we had finished all the other Evils.

Corin: Then how did the apocalypse happen?

Melantha: Well… it was… obviously an extremely infectious venereal disease from our lab. It makes people just do it a whole lot, all over the place, in all the positions. Doing it. And spreading the disease until everyone is doing it. But then your nose falls off. And then you die.

Titus: Come in, Corin.

Corin: Go ahead, Titus.

Melantha: Are you taking another call? Right now?

Titus: I just got lucky, Corin. Just rooted a woman here on the surface. She was looking to feel something other than fear for a few moments and pulled me aside to do the deed. I can safely confirm that venereal disease has not caused the apocalypse. I am detecting nothing abnormal about my loins at all. The woman ran off, so I couldn’t do any, uh, further testing. But, Definitely not VD.

Corin: Excellent news, Titus. Do you hear that, Melantha? You didn’t cause the apocalypse.

Melantha: Then what did?

Corin: Well, obviously, it was… drugs?

Titus: Corin, I have just snorted some of the dirt. No buzz at all. Not a thing. Not even a little bit. It wasn’t drugs either.

Melantha: Then you don’t know either! Ha! It seems this is a draw, Corin! I’ll just keep investigating until I figure out that I caused this and then I will rub your face in it. Hahahahaha!

[Noise 2]

Corin: Or maybe I caused it! I mean… I could have. We’ll get to the bottom of this, shareholders.

But first, let’s take a brief intermission. If you haven’t already, please tell us what is most Evil on the pad of paper here at the front, and throw your name into the Ruin-A-Life Drawing.

[[Stop Music]]

INTERMISSION

We will now need a volunteer from the audience. Who wants to read? (Don’t make me pick one of you at random)

[[Flathead]]

What’s your name? Thank you for coming to the stage. Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone else, this is X. Thank you so much for joining us today. Now, as I understand it, you have volunteered to seal the tunnels from the outside and brave whatever terrors might be waiting for you out there to save all of us. This is truly a dangerous and terrible task, and we thank you for that.

Guest: I have no idea what you are talking about.

Corin: Ah, yes, I did hear about the head injury you encountered earlier. It can play havoc with your memories.

Guest: I did not volunteer to do anything dangerous.

Corin: Don’t be ridiculous. It was very brave. We were all very impressed.

Guest: Just a moment ago, you asked for volunteers to come read a part.

Corin: That doesn’t sound right. I introduced you, you came to the stage and now you are telling me about the brave and dangerous feat ahead of you, and I am telling you just how brave and courageous we think you are. Thank you for your service.

Guest: You asked me to come read. Anyone in the audience will remember that.

Corin: The audience does not remember that. And if they do, then there’s a kind of thing called a collective hallucination. If anyone remembers me asking for you to come up here from the audience, they are just remembering wrong. You are a guest like any other on this show. We talked about it earlier. Your family did mention you might have some memory troubles, though.

Guest: I have no idea what’s happening.

Corin: None of us do. It’s the apocalypse. It is all very scary and we are all thankful that you are going to do this selfless thing and go battle with escaped monsters and terrible biological pathogens that are certain to be lining the tunnels now until you finally fall to one of their attacks, saving all of us.

Guest: This is crazy. I volunteered for none of that. I just came here to watch a show because you asked me to on Facebook.

Corin: Oh, bless your heart. We will never forget your sacrifice.

Guest: I simply will not do this thing.

Corin: That’s okay. We have several people standing by to escort you to your new task. Everyone please applaud as this brave soul goes to do something unimaginably brave and selfless for all of us. And die a terrible death. (You can go now)

It’s been a minute since we checked outside. Let’s have a listen.

[3] (More Terrible sounds)

At Kakos Industries, we are known for our parties. Of course, we’re Evil and we take the time to party whenever we can. I know that some of you long time shareholders might be concerned about how we might continue this critical part of our operations in these new, dramatically worsened circumstances. Obviously, we will all have to make some modifications, and that includes how we will celebrate. Right now, we should be having the Shareholders’ Ball, the most extravagant party of the year for us at Kakos Industries. It’s that time when we celebrate you, the shareholders. We spare no expense, and violate whatever morals we might have left, to bring you a feast and entertainment to truly remember. We’re still working out the kinks, but it’s likely the entertainment and the food offerings will be human suffering themed. Because we’ve got a lot of it right now. Those of you with chef on your new class cards should get to work so I don’t look like a fool when the time comes.

There’s also the Festival of Books. We do have a few books. They are all Dan Brown novels, though. Sorry about that. Not quite as exciting as we’re used to.

The CEO Festival is the festival where you all celebrate me. I did mention the thunderdome, right? It’ll probably be a thunderdome kind of thing. And the Festival of the Dance? Probably thunderdome. The Festival of Darkness will occur any time someone uses the bluetooth speaker without using the electric bike. It’ll trip the breaker and turn out the lights. Festival of Somnambulation? That’ll also be a thunderdome. The Thunderdome Festival will be a quiet game of cards, though.

I mentioned our low supply of books, but it would seem that the rest of our media is somewhat limited as well. The Internet has been completely destroyed. (pause) That’s what I thought. We’re not really that sad about it, are we? We’ve been kind of like, waiting for it to go for a while now, right? Before the apocalypse we tried to archive as much of the Internet as possible, so we could pretend like it still exists for some time, but the only things we managed to save were extreme right wing terrorist forums, so we deleted them. Also we saved the most recent meme to be posted to the Internet right before everything went to shit. It’s not a good one, but it is the last thing humanity did before the end of the world. It’s a kitten, on a blue background, and it says “This apocalypse shit is freaking meowt.” Congratulations, humanity.

[[Overdraught]]

To speak with us a bit more about the limited media we still have access to, we are now joined by Lisa Librera, the curator of what remains of our archives of entertainment. So, Lisa, what do we have to keep ourselves busy?

Lisa (KELSEY): Thank you, Corin. In addition to the books you mentioned and the lovely meme that will need to sustain us for the rest of time, we also have a small collection of VHS tapes, but they are all either commercial releases of Showgirls, the Ernest collection, or television taped in Super Long Play mode by someone’s grandmother. We know whose, we’re just not comfortable sharing that information right now. You will have to check them out and return them in one piece. Also, there is only one VCR, and it stays in the break room.

Corin: That seems difficult, but I assume we will adapt quickly.

Lisa: We also have a complete collection of Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass on Vinyl, and an extremely worn copy of Thriller. The stylus has broken on our turntable, however. For other auditory entertainment, we also have this kitschy digital remote control that just plays fart sounds. Please use this responsibly.

Corin: If anyone can be trusted with such a power, it is our shareholders.

Lisa: We also have many of the Earth’s greatest works of art that you can look at through a window on the far side of the break room. Please do not concern yourselves with the identities of the masked figures who move the art around and sort it, and do not concern yourself with how we got any of it either.

Corin: I can think of nothing concerning about any of that. At least not to my sensibilities.

Lisa: There are six decks of cards. You will need to show proof that you will be playing cards with at least one other person before you will be allowed to check one out. No solitaire. We don’t have the resources for solitaire. We also have some dice, but they are exclusively for gambling.

Corin: I was going to ask about gambling. I’m glad that particular aspect of humanity will continue into the apocalypse.

Lisa: There is one puzzle. We don’t know what it’s supposed to look like when completed, or if all of the pieces are there, or if all of the pieces are even from the same puzzle.

Corin: I’m sure we will find out quickly.

Lisa: There are also several copies of Monopoly that I expect none of you to play. We also have a Bop-It, and a Skip-It. We expect them to be completely broken by tomorrow.

Corin: I can see that.

Lisa: There is also just one remaining porno magazine. It will be kept under lock and key. You will have to make an appointment, look at it, memorize whatever you need, and then go about your way, leaving it in the case. I am told, however, that there is something for everyone in it.

Corin: What about people who need more physical activity to keep themselves sane?

Lisa: You’ve already mentioned the exercise bike and the blue tooth speaker, but we do have a complete weight room in case you feel like getting prison jacked while you’re down here, and why not. We also have the GED prep book for anyone who wants to better themselves. We cannot guarantee that the information in this book is going to be valuable in the post apocalypse, but it’s about time you got yourself back into school.

Corin: That makes sense. It’s never too late for self improvement.

Lisa: We also have a limited supply of a variety of colors of paint so that you may while away the hours watching them dry. There’s also this cup and ball thing that I think we’re all going to be experts at soon enough, and a single puzzle cube, but it’s missing two of the face stickers. We don’t have the right color markers to do anything about that.

Corin: Well it seems like we might be just about set for the rest of our lives down here. Is there anything else?

Lisa: We also have one of those floor mats that promises to teach you to do the Jitterbug, but we lost the instructions. And the music.

Corin: That’s too bad. Thank you for joining us.

[[Helena]]

Corin: Hey, Titus.

Titus: Yes, Corin?

Corin: Is there any chance the apocalypse was caused by boredom?

Titus: I certainly don’t think so, Corin. If anything, it is quite exciting out here. I am positively riveted. It reminds me of my youth, when I used to cliff dive into waters just infested with jellies to show them who was boss.

I have a note here saying that our next guest is Deborah Highlow, from the Division of Animal Husbandry. Well, okay.

Deborah (BECCA): I appreciate you asking me here, Corin.

Corin: I definitely didn’t do that.

Deborah: I have something very important to talk about today.

Corin: Okay. Go ahead.

Deborah: It’s about the animals we have here in the bunker. Our livestock.

Corin: Do you want to talk with us about how to handle the animals and make sure that they last for generations to come?

Deborah: No, all of that is automated. I have something more important to talk about. May I address the shareholders directly?

Corin: Uh, yeah. I guess.

Deborah: Hello shareholders. My name is Deborah. I work with animals every day. I love animals and all that they have to offer us, so I want to talk to you about the most pressing issue facing us now that we are locked in this basement with the livestock. And that is overcoming your lust for them.

Corin: I’m going to cut you off right there, Deborah.

Deborah: Corin, this is important. Let me finish.

Corin: No guarantees.

Deborah: We’ve all been there. You catch the eye of that beautiful, glistening pack animal, and you think, there is nothing I want inside of me more than that animal.

Corin: Like to eat?

Deborah: No, Corin. Not to eat.

Corin: Please let’s not do this.

Deborah: You start by stroking its mane.

Corin: No.

Deborah: and maybe you get a little bit experimental.

Corin: Please stop.

Deborah: But this is wrong. We cannot fuck the animals.

Corin: Didn’t even cross my mind.

Deborah: You say that now, Corin. But just wait three months, down here, with all of these people. You’ll fuck half of them by next month. But then what will excite you?

Corin: Three months sounds like a short amount of time for this kind of change.

Deborah: You’ll start looking to the cows. Or the chickens. Or the horses.

Corin: There aren’t any horses down here.

Deborah: Oh, what a relief then. Actually, it was primarily the horses I was worried about. Now I feel silly for even bringing this up.

Corin: Well, I feel… silly isn’t the right word.

Deborah: Goodbye, Corin.

So… we’re going to have to get someone to fuck Deborah. Like a human person. Fall on that sword, guys. Because there will be no animal fucking in here.

Now we recognize it can get kind of boring down here, especially if you don’t have a whole lot of friends in this group, which is why we’re starting up some extracurricular activities to stay busy. We will have a choir. We currently only have the sheet music for acapella Sweet Caroline, but I’m sure you resourceful people will figure out some other songs.

We’re also going to have some roleplaying groups, but each group will have that guy that tries to game the system in a super unfun way. We also have one amongst us who can teach everyone else to make pottery. I am told that there is also an inflatable hot tub, but the heater is broken, and it probably has a hole in it.

I am now joined by Dennis Leelio, Director of The Intergalactic Network For Otherworldly Industry Liaisons, or TINFOIL for short.

[[Automat 2]]

Corin: What do you have to talk about today, Dennis?

Dennis (ANWAR): Well, usually, COrin, I deal with outer space shit. Aliens. Making alliances. Maintaining trade. Getting the good Froobberries from Markalon 99, okay? But now, we’re underground. I could have been in space for the apocalypse, but you decided to bring me back to Earth so that I could join you guys in the fucking ground. Real, exciting, Corin. Just a great fucking time for me. And now what do they ask me to do, Corin? They ask me to keep an eye on the drug stash. They know that I get a little cranky when I have chardonnay. They know I’m not going to touch the blow, or the blizz, or the weed cigarettes. But now I have the unenviable task of keeping these fucking drug fiends out there away from the stash so it lasts a while. There are no more drugs, Corin. What we’ve got is what we’ve got. No pens, no powders, no leaves, no flowers. We’re not getting any more, okay? So we’ve got to let everyone down real easy. Did you see that, Corin? Half of your damn shareholders just stiffened up knowing that they can’t smoke their jazz herbs every day for the rest of the apocalypse. Their buttholes just got real tight, Corin. And look at that guy. He’s fucking itchy just at the thought of not having any nose sweets. This is real great for me, Corin. Just dealing with a bunch of drug addled people looking for their fix. People that you got addicted. And you know I can’t leave anyone else in charge of the stash. Not even Derek. He’ll do all the drugs, Corin. I left him at the stash for five minutes and I bet he’s done half of the stuff already. In fact, the longer I’m here talking to you, the less drugs we’re going to have because my idiot assistant has a serious meeblebock problem. That’s not even a drug we have here, Corin. He is so fucked when the sweats start, and you know who’s going to have to take care of him? You know who’s going to have to breastfeed him back to health? It sure as shit isn’t you, Corin. It’s me. I’m going to have to change his bedding when he soils himself, and what thanks do I get for any of this? None. No thanks. No thanks for Dennis. Maybe I should do the drugs, Corin. Maybe I should just stick my face in there and just snort, smoke and swallow, and inject until I’m a fucking vegetable. Then I won’t have to deal with this garbage. The apocalypse? Go fuck yourself, Corin. Go fuck yourself.

Corin: I’ll let you get back to the stash.

Dennis: Thank you.

Corin: Hey, Dennis.

Dennis: What?

Corin: Thank you.

Dennis: Oh, go fuck yourself, Corin. Go fuck yourself. I deserve better than this shit.

Titus: Come in, Corin.

Corin: Yep. Go ahead.

Titus: I have determined that the end is not due to lack of cheese. There’s still plenty of cheese up here.

Corin: That’s not even on my list of possibilities. Can you look into electromagnetic pulses or superstorms? Maybe global warming?

Titus: I’m on it, Corin. Just as soon as I sample some more cheese.

[[Landlike]]

Shareholders, I have just received a note from my grandfather. If you’re a new shareholder, then you should know that my grandfather wrote me a lot of letters before he died to cover a wide variety of contingencies. This one is titled “The Apocalypse”. He writes, “Well, Corin, it was bound to happen, wasn’t it. The end of the world. And you were bound to cause it. I didn’t, and my predecessors didn’t either, so we were due. Don’t feel too bad sport. Everything was always headed this direction. In this letter, I’ve included a key. It opens a lockbox in storage 38-99-A in the bunker. There’s a bottle of DarkMegaScotch in there. Toast the world for me, would you? Also, if the apocalypse is anything like those months I spent underground in the seventies researching our internal clocks and how Evil they are, then it’s important to put on pants every single day. Every day, Corin. You promise me. Every day. If you don’t, that’s when the problems start. Put your pants on. Even when you don’t want to. You have to. Every day. Every day. Love ya, kiddo.” Well, I’m wearing pants now. Advantageous start, I guess.

Let’s take a listen outside again.

([Not so terrible sound] Something silly, like a carnival or something. Geese. Laughter.)

That doesn’t sound right.

The Division of Incredibly Boring things is still at work, shareholders. This is one of my favorite divisions. They’re always doing such interesting things. Well, not interesting. The opposite, actually–

([Noise 1])

Corin: Who is it now?

Svetlana (MASHA): My name is Svetlana. I work for DarkMegaKGB.

Corin: Ah. New shareholders, the DarkMegaUSSR is one of our rivals. But their leader took almost everyone and started a colony on Mars.

Svetlana: It is the reddest of planets. Even if Vodya was a bit misguided in his desire to get there so soon. He has left some of us behind on Earth to continue bringing collectivized Evil to the world.

Corin: So why did you call? Are you going to take credit for the apocalypse?

Svetlana: This is just like you capitalists. You think that it is always competition and that person who goes biggest wins. And it is your short sightedness that brings us to this mess. This apocalypse. Communist Evil would last a hundred thousand generations. No History. No social unrest. Just Evil. But you, and your consumption, and your need to exploit every one of Earth’s resources in pursuit of shiny things, you have gone too far. Capitalism has done this, and now there is no one left to do Evil to. No one left in gulag. No one left in frozen wastes. All is wasted.

Corin: You think capitalism did this? I mean, sure. Why not. We’ll take the blame.

Svetlana: Short sighted as always.

Titus: Corin, I did some looking into the weather patterns.

Corin: Forget about that for a minute. Did capitalism cause the apocalypse?

Titus: Ah, Capitalism? Well… That’s a tricky one, Corin. I am not economist. Hold on.

(Titus makes nibbling sounds)

Titus: Well, Corin, I’ve just chewed some bark here. I can detect notes of runaway capitalism, notes of financial oligarchy, a hint of cronyism, and a lot of greed, but no, Corin. Capitalism may have helped, but it’s not the root of the problem.

Corin: Do you hear that Svetlana?

Svetlana: In that case, we will take credit for the apocalypse. Thank you for conceding, Mr. Deeth. It has made our job much easier.

([noise 2])

Corin: Oh, fuck.

Corin: Okay, Titus, tell me what you’ve discovered about the weather patterns.

[Wind]

Titus: Okay, here goes: It    is windy.

(pause)

Corin: That’s it?

Titus: This wind did not cause the apocalypse.

Corin: Then find out what did!

Titus: Ah, yep. That’s the point, Corin. Working on it. Titus out.

[STOP Wind]

Corin: This is getting pretty frustrating.

[[Equivocacy]]

Now to try to perk us up, I am joined by Francine Drow to talk with us about Euthanasia options. Wait, that doesn’t sound pleasant at all.

Francine (JESSIE): It most certainly isn’t, Corin, but we have to have this conversation.

Corin: I suppose I agree. We have to make sure that we have mature conversations about things like this.

Francine: And we also don’t want anyone making a fucking mess all over the bunker for everyone else to see and clean up. We understand, you know. This is all terribly depressing and the desire to leave it all behind is not difficult to empathize with. Why, I’m thinking about it right now myself. And that’s why we’ve decided to set up safe, sanitary, and most importantly, tidy ways of ending it all. The last thing we need is brains all over the fucking walls, or gallons of blood staining the floor for the rest of eternity. We also don’t want your bowels releasing anywhere other than the designated areas for that. It’s really about morale.

Corin: Morale?

Francine: Obviously. If we have a bunch of corpses piling up everywhere, and leaving remnants in the most difficult to clean nooks and crannies, then it will have a seriously negative effect on morale. People cannot be content in those circumstances.

Corin: So what do you recommend?

Francine: Well, we have a variety of ways to take you out for good that are far more agreeable than leaving yourself hanging like a flag, waving for all to see. We have drugs and a variety of painless poisons. And best of all, the emotional impact you have on the rest of us is far less with these methods. We can’t stop you from doing it, but we can ask that you not make it a whole thing, you know?

Corin: Do you have anything hopeful to say after all of that?

Francine: No matter how you die, we will harvest your sperm or eggs if you have any and use those to make more people in the future. We just can’t lose the genetic diversity.

Corin: I’m not sure that’s all that hopeful.

Francine: Did I forget to smile?

Corin: Thank you for joining us, Francine.

Let’s check in with the sounds outside to see how things are progressing.

[4](More terrible sounds)

That’s about what I expected.

[[Overt Operation]]

[Fire]

Titus: I have another update.

Corin: Go ahead.

Titus: It’s regarding global warming. It is rather warm where I am, but I am inside a burning building.

Corin: Titus, get out of there!

Titus: Don’t you worry, Corin. I’m apocalypse proof, remember?

Corin: Fine. But this isn’t useful information.

Titus: I’m only one man, Corin. I’m doing the best I can.

Corin: Well, keep at it. It seems like we might not figure out the answer to this enormous question before the end of the show here. We’ll have to distribute literature later or something. Or maybe have another show.

Titus: Whatever you think is best, Corin. I’m going to have another beer in the meantime.

[Can]

[STOP Fire]

They say that Evil once ate one half of each of two babies and sewed them up into one baby. This is Things We’re Taking Credit for Now. New shareholders, this is the segment where we announce that we’re taking credit for Evil things around the world. We definitely did do these things, but it’s not always easy to prove how. Today, we are taking credit for ________, _________, and the apocalypse. I guess I said that one already. If you happen to disagree that we did any of these things, prepare to experience the apocalypse head on. Outside.

X has won the Ruin-A-Life Drawing. As a result, the life of X’s nemesis will be ruined. X has selected Y for this punishment. We spun the Wheel of Misery with an Evil amount of force and it sailed right past apocalypse to land on the space designated for Nonjudgmental. That’s right, from this day forward, Y will be 300% more nonjudgmental. This includes situations where being judgmental isn’t really helping anyone, but also situations where some judgment would actually be a pretty good idea. Like picking your friends and lovers. For Evil Measure, X will be 30% more judgmental. That may take a toll. Congratulations on the win and best of luck.

[[Tautologize]]

And that brings us to the end of the show. No more word from Titus. The apocalypse just happened and now we have to deal with it. Not the best outcome, but Evil perseveres.

[Laser]

Titus: Corin.

Corin: What is it, Titus?

Titus: Well, it’s the apocalypse.

Corin: It is the apocalypse. What about it?

Titus: Do you remember when I told you about that ray that they used to test my apocalypse-proofness?

Corin: I remember thinking that it made no sense.

Titus: Well, this is embarrassing, but it looks like one of the scientists in the lab left the ray on, and it looks like it slipped, so it’s no longer hitting the apocalypse-proof panel on the wall. Instead, it’s hitting a glass of water and being reflected out of the window, where it is hitting the Earth. I believe this apocalypse ray may be causing the apocalypse.

Corin: That is so incredibly stupid.

Titus: I agree, Corin, but you just can’t make this stuff up.

Corin: Well, turn it off.

[Laser Off]

Titus: It is off, Corin.

Corin: And the apocalypse light on my desk turned off. Titus, you ended the apocalypse.

Titus: Are you sure, Corin? I still feel like everything is terrible.

Corin: Oh, it is.

Titus: Nothing makes sense. Everyone is mad at everyone else.

Corin: Yep.

Titus: It feels like democracy is crumbling and no one cares about truth anymore.

Corin: uh-huh. But it’s not the apocalypse anymore. I’ll see you back at work, Titus. Corin out.

Well, shareholders, this is embarrassing. But on the other hand, at least it was us here at Kakos Industries that caused the apocalypse, and not any of our competitors. I suppose we can let you go now. Hopefully your loved ones survived the few hours of apocalypse.

Please tip your bartenders. We will have merch in the back. Have an amazing night. The numbers are next.

[[The Numbers]]

11

22

69

120

220

12

40

440

4

8

76

79

69

69

420

49

42

99

4

4

4

4

I suppose now that everything is back to normal we can take one more listen outside.

[5] (Another terrible sound)

Where the hell did we put that microphone?

[[Kakos Bells with Reverse Reverb]]

[[Potency]]

Kelsey: This special live presentation of Kakos Industries was written and produced by Conrad Miszuk, who is also the voice of Corin Deeth III. The introduction is read by Kitty McCauley, and the credits are read by Kelsey Kemmer, the current thunderdome champion after squashing a fly in there. Special appearance in this episode by Adam Miszuk, Anwar Newton, Rebecca Ryan, Jessie Marie, Masha Zapalova, and Kelsey Kemmer. Please visit KakosIndustries.com for news, extras, and more episodes. There are also transcriptions on the website if you’d like to read along with the Kakos Industries announcements. That’s K-A-K-O-S-I-N-D-U-S-T-R-I-E-S dot com. Please visit store.KakosIndustries.com for merchandise and special offers and get wonderful benefits by becoming a subscription donor at kakosindustries.com/patreon. You can also buy stuff in the lobby! Questions, comments, or a strong desire to collaborate? Drop us a line at inquiries@kakosindustries.com. If you like Kakos Industries, be sure to rate and review us on your favorite podcasting service, and connect with us on YouTube (YouTube.com/KakosIndustries), Facebook (facebook.com/kakosindustries), Tumblr (kakosindustries.tumblr.com), and Twitter (@KakosIndustries). We encourage fan art and listener participation on all our social media platforms. We’ve recently expanded our social media team, so please visit the website to view their credits and current projects.

Kelsey: Kakos Industries can be heavy sometimes. Try exercising to take your mind off of all of the darkness.

[[Stop Music]]

[pixelpoppers]

Musou Tactics

After playing Fire Emblem Warriors, I thought I was super into Musou games. After moving on to the (earlier release) Hyrule Warriors, while I do still enjoy Musou it turns out that what I was super into was Fire Emblem Warriors. In particular, its tactical depth.

Cross-over Musou spin-off games (at least the ones I've tried - the above two and Dragon Quest Heroes) take on iconic aspects of their crossover franchise, and some work better than others. I think the key is how shallow or deep the mechanics are integrated with the core gameplay. For example, Dragon Quest Heroes retools the special attacks to be familiar spells like Zap that use MP and also provides monster medals for summoning friendly monsters. This was part of the normal combat gameplay, it clearly received a lot of attention, and it created some interesting possibilities. Meanwhile, other JRPG elements were integrated via town-like camp/airship segments between battles. These replaced the more direct upgrade menus found in other Musou titles, adding a bunch of NPCs in an explorable space and a lot of fiddly complexity in the equipment and crafting systems, more in line with mainline Dragon Quest. But this was a more shallow integration - in JRPGs, towns are important mechanisms for pacing (they might be several hours apart, as you use each as a safe place and base of operations while handling nearby dungeons or whatever) and worldbuilding (NPCs in towns can provide depth and detail as to the state of the world and how it's changing). But in Dragon Quest Heroes it mostly just feels like a menu that's harder to use shoved in between battles - you're ejected to it after every battle, which is every twenty minutes or so, and it generally just contains the same uninteresting NPCs to talk to over and over. (Maybe it gets better later in the game; I didn't finish DQH.)

Fire Emblem is a franchise of turn-based tactical RPGs, and while some of its iconic features were integrated shallowly and to poor effect (the Support conversation system ends up being pretty obnoxious) the more tactical elements like the weapon triangle (swords beat axes beat lances beat swords) and related rock-paper-scissors-like systems (flying units can cross gaps but are vulnerable to archers) turned out to be a shockingly good fit for Musou, to an extent I didn't appreciate until playing Hyrule Warriors.

In most Musou games, you pick your character at the start of the mission and that's who you play as for the whole mission. Any allies are completely controlled by the (not especially competent) AI. You generally need to run around the battlefield taking care of everything major yourself. This is why Tim Rogers called Musou games "Action-Flavored Strategic Job Responsibility Simulators."

This setup also has a homogenizing effect on playable characters. They can have different movesets, different offense/defense trade-offs, and different range/damage trade-offs - but fundamentally they need to all have the same capabilities, because they all need to be able to handle every situation that can occur in every mission. Some characters might be slightly better suited to certain challenges, but you can just pick your favorite and stick with them and be just fine.

Hyrule Warriors changes this formula slightly. You can in many cases deploy two or three playable characters and switch between them freely, and you can also issue simple commands to allied characters to send them where you want them to go. (I'm not sure it's the first to add these features, but it's the earliest Musou game I've seen with them.) But the characters are still basically homogeneous in capability - anyone can handle anything. As a result, the only real reason to switch between characters is down to location. Maybe you sent Link to the west side of the map and Zelda to the east, and as threats arise on either side of the map you switch between - but you could just as well have sent Link east and Zelda west. Or if you have time, just stick with one and run back and forth.

In some senses, this is good - you can still just deploy and use your favorite characters, and you basically can't have the frustrating situation where because you failed to predict the future, an urgent threat pops up on the other end of the map and you simply can't get there in time. But Fire Emblem Warriors is - as far as I know - the first and only Musou game to see and use the true potential of this system - by differentiating the playable characters.

As in its source material, playable characters in Fire Emblem Warriors are mechanically defined by their relationship with multiple rock-paper-scissors systems. The most significant are the weapon type (sword/axe/lance in the weapon triangle, and bow/tome/dragonstone outside of it) and the movement type (infantry, cavalry, flying cavalry), though there are a few other interactions (some characters have anti-dragon weapons and some characters are dragons, for example, and some characters are better healers than others). The result is actual difference in capability meaning not every character can handle every challenge, which creates much more interesting scenarios. You may have to send Pegasus knight Caeda flying across a gap to lower a bridge that sword-wielding Marth can then run across to deal with the archers on the other side blocking Caeda's progress, for example.

As a result, it's now important to survey the map before each mission and put together a balanced party capable of handling the mission's particular threats. No archers? Go nuts with the flying units! Going up against Falchion-wielders? Don't send Tiki or Corrin against them! Lots of Pegasus knights? Send in the archers and axe-wielders! And so on. Your party composition is then tested in the mission itself, which will go much more smoothly if you've put the right character types in the right places.

By adding this tactical depth, Fire Emblem Warriors reveals Musou as what it's actually been all along - a real-time tactical RPG. People complain that combat in Musou is easy, shallow, and uninteresting, but Musou has never been about individual combat encounters. You could put in a richer dueling system, but this would forgo the genre's strengths and what separates it from linear beat-'em-ups. In Musou, the challenge comes from managing the entire battlefield - understanding what's going on, prioritizing threats and opportunities, and managing your resources to handle them. Adding depth to those tactical decisions is how you improve a Musou game.

(Though I didn't try it, Fire Emblem Warriors can push things even further with its optional Tactician mode, where the controlled character can't deal any damage but allies are significantly more effective at following orders. I like having the player-driven action in there too, but the fact that this is even possible as an experiment says a lot about the nature of the game.)

It's been difficult to go back to Hyrule Warriors where there isn't any such thing as a balanced party and it doesn't matter who you use to deal with what. There hasn't been a new Musou crossover since Fire Emblem Warriors, but the next one has been announced - Persona 5 Scramble: The Phantom Strikers. The Persona games have always had fairly tactically-rich combat with an emphasis on exploiting elemental weaknesses - this could easily serve just as well as Fire Emblem Warriors' weapon triangle, if Atlus and Omega Force decide to go that way. I really hope they do.

[corbie]

Words I Have Enjoyed, 2018

Books

J.G. Ballard, The Day of Creation

Jodorowsky, The Incal

Charles Stross, Toast and Other Stories

Richard Feynman, QED: the strange theory of light and matter

Bertrand Russell, The Problems of Philosophy

Douglas Adams, Dirk Gentry’s Holistic Detective Agency

Iain M. Banks, The State of The Art

Ursula K. Le Guin, The Left Hand of Darkness

Iain M. Banks, Excession

Italo Calvino, If On A Winter’s Night A Traveller

Roland Barthes, Mythologies

Frank Herbert, Dune

Chinua Achebe, Things Fall Apart

Aldous Huxley, The Doors of Perception

Aldous Huxley, Heaven and Hell

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion

Daniel C. Dennett, Consciousness Explained

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus

Longer Reads

Assorted Alan Kay Emails

“After more than 50 years of doing edge of art research, my conclusion is that "it is delicate". An important part of any art is for the artists to escape the "part of the present that is the past", and for most artists, this is delicate because the present is so everywhere and loud and interruptive. For individual contributors, a good ploy is to disappear for a while. What was wonderful about the big creative projects of the golden age was that they had to be conducted out in the open by lots of people, but the processes and pressures were such that the delicate parts were not done in.”

Are We Awake Under Anesthesia?

What happens to the mind and consciousness under anesthesia?

Fifty psychological and psychiatric terms to avoid

“A gene for…“, “Brain region X lights up”, “Chemical imbalance”, “Closure”, “Fetish”, and friends.

The Female Price Of Male Pleasure

“Once you've absorbed how horrifying this is, you might reasonably conclude that our "reckoning" over sexual assault and harassment has suffered because men and women have entirely different rating scales. An 8 on a man's Bad Sex scale is like a 1 on a woman's. This tendency for men and women to use the same term — bad sex — to describe experiences an objective observer would characterize as vastly different is the flip side of a known psychological phenomenon called "relative deprivation," by which disenfranchised groups, having been trained to expect little, tend paradoxically to report the same levels of satisfaction as their better-treated, more privileged peers.”

DNA Through The Eyes Of A Coder

“DNA is not like C source but more like byte-compiled code for a virtual machine called 'the nucleus'. It is very doubtful that there is a source to this byte compilation - what you see is all you get.”

A Generation Lost in the Bazaar

“That is the sorry reality of the bazaar Raymond praised in his book: a pile of old festering hacks, endlessly copied and pasted by a clueless generation of IT "professionals" who wouldn't recognize sound IT architecture if you hit them over the head with it. It is hard to believe today, but under this embarrassing mess lies the ruins of the beautiful cathedral of Unix, deservedly famous for its simplicity of design, its economy of features, and its elegance of execution.”

The Recurse Center User’s Manual

I wish every technical working group I’ve been on for the past fifteen years had something one-tenth as thoughtful as this.

The White Darkness: A Journey Across Antarctica

The trial of crossing the Southern continent on foot, alone.

Why the Culture Wins: An Appreciation of Iain M. Banks

“One interesting consequence of this process is that the competition between cultures is becoming defunctionalized. The institutions of modern bureaucratic capitalism solve many of the traditional problems of social integration in an almost mechanical way. As a result, when considering the modern “hypercultures” – e.g. American, Japanese, European – there is little to choose from a functional point of view. None are particularly better or worse, from the standpoint of constructing a successful society. And so what is there left to compete on? All that is left are the memetic properties of the culture, which is to say, the pure capacity to reproduce itself.”

Programmer as wizard, programmer as engineer

“I think one of the overarching goals of compute science is to make more programming like wizarding. We want our computers to be human-amplifiers.”

The Ambiguous Utopia of Iain M. Banks

“Philosophically, the Culture accepts, generally, that questions such as “What is the meaning of life?” are themselves meaningless....In summary, we make our own meanings, whether we like it or not.”

Computing is Everywhere: A conversation with Bret Victor, Creator of Dynamicland

“That was the plan, yeah. I had um I just built up a . . . a set of things I wanted to think about that could not be thought at Apple. It was kind of this — um I had a bulletin board in my room and had like all these little pieces of paper that I had stuck to that board. And so when I went on my trip, I kind of scooped all those papers into like three little plastic baggies, and then at some random public library somewhere in the middle of the country, I spread out those papers on a big desk and tried to figure out what — what is it? Like what — what is the abstraction here? What — what does all these little ideas add — What are the categories here? What does it add up to?”

Lessons from Optics, The Other Deep Learning

“If anything, I wanted to reply that maybe her engineers should be scared.”

How To Be A Systems Thinker: A Conversation With Mary Catherine Bateson

“The tragedy of the cybernetic revolution, which had two phases, the computer science side and the systems theory side, has been the neglect of the systems theory side of it. We chose marketable gadgets in preference to a deeper understanding of the world we live in.”

Deconstructing the Unix Philosophy

Lots of good bits here.

A Basic Lack of Understanding

“This article is about what AI is, but it’s also about why learning what AI is is important in the first place. It’s about how AI is marketed as a commodity today, and what impact that has on people whose work and social lives are touched and shaped by AI on a daily basis. And it’s about how the future of resistance against AI-backed exploitation may not just be technological in nature, but social and cultural.”

One day I'm going to do a survey of the early-21st century AI skepticist essay landscape.

Self-respect: Its Source, Its Power

“To protest that some fairly improbable people, some people who could not possibly respect themselves, seem to sleep easily enough is to miss the point entirely, as surely as those people miss it who think that self-respect has necessarily to do with not having safety pins in one's underwear. There is a common superstition that "self-respect" is a kind of charm against snakes, something that keeps those who have it locked in some unblighted Eden, out of strange beds, ambivalent conversations, and trouble in general. It does not at all. It has nothing to do with the face of things, but concerns instead a separate peace, a private reconciliation.”

Carbon Ironies

“Most likely, you are a hard, angry person. . . . Beset by floods, droughts, diseases and insect plagues . . . fearing for your children in the face of multiplying perils, how can you feel anything better than impatient contempt for my daughter and me, who lived so wastefully for our own pleasure?”

Utopia and Work

“The utopianism of full employment is so entrenched, as a seemingly uncontested common sense, it’s difficult to imagine a different utopian horizon.”

Disposable America

“As it turns out, all three companies’ histories intersect with each other, as well as with structural changes to the American economy. But first, we have to talk about McDonald’s.”

What can a technologist do about climate change?

No clear answers, but thoughtful and insightful.

Survival of the Richest

Slowly but surely, however, they edged into their real topics of concern. Which region will be less impacted by the coming climate crisis: New Zealand or Alaska? Is Google really building Ray Kurzweil a home for his brain, and will his consciousness live through the transition, or will it die and be reborn as a whole new one? Finally, the CEO of a brokerage house explained that he had nearly completed building his own underground bunker system and asked, “How do I maintain authority over my security force after the event?”

Bourdain Confidential

“As much as I look at houses sometimes and think wow, that would be really nice, if that were my house, I know that I would be miserable. It would be… cleaning out the… the gutters, and you know, what about the pipes freezing, and if you own a home it means you have to vacation in the same place every year. I’m a renter by nature. I like the freedom to change my mind about where I want to be in six months, or a year. Because I’ve also found you might have to make that decision… you can’t always make that decision for yourself, you know… shit happens.”

How to write a good software design document

“A design doc is the most useful tool for making sure the right work gets done.”

The Bullshit Web

“There is a cumulative effect of bullshit; its depth and breadth is especially profound. In isolation, the few seconds that it takes to load some extra piece of surveillance JavaScript isn’t much. Neither is the time it takes for a user to hide an email subscription box, or pause an autoplaying video. But these actions compound on a single webpage, and then again across multiple websites, and those seemingly-small time increments become a swirling miasma of frustration and pain.”

On Production Minimalism

“Do more and more with less and less until eventually you can do everything with nothing.”

“Omakase”

Just read it.

See No Evil

“What if we take these companies at their word? What if it is truly impossible to get a handle on the entirety of a supply chain?”

Estrangement and Cognition

“SF is, then, a literary genre whose necessary and sufficient conditions are the presence and interaction of estrangement and cognition, and whose main formal device is an imaginative framework alternative to the author's empirical environment.”

Layering

“This is good advice, and with a bit of adaptation it can apply to many things in life. Any sort of improvisation must arise from a basic technique. And just as important, the advice understands that there’s nothing more intimidating than a pristine kitchen, a blank canvas, an empty screen.”

The Heart of the Problem

“But consider this for a moment. Perhaps once we are adequately fed, diet becomes far less significant in determining how healthy we are. Maybe almost insignificant. Could it be that when our bodies have enough macro and micro nutrients available most of the time, other determinants of health kick in. The houses we live in. The stress we are under. The pressure of financial and social inequalities. Stigma, abuse and mental illness. Social isolation. And a million other factors with the capacity to make us sick.”

Mass Authentic

“Authenticity seems to stand for the truth behind the curtain, but it is really just the curtain. The presumption that only some feelings in some situations are real, and other feelings, though felt, are somehow false, is authenticity’s main ruse.”

Stickeen: The Story of a Dog

“However great his troubles he never asked help or made any complaint, as if, like a philosopher, he had learned that without hard work and suffering there could be no pleasure worth having.”

The Early History of Smalltalk

Far more here than I could find suitable excerpts for.

The Radical Implications of Luck in Human Life

“The less credit/responsibility you believe we are due, the more you believe our trajectories are shaped by forces outside our control (and sheer chance), the more compassionate you will be toward failure and the more you will expect back from the fortunate. When luck is recognized, softening its harsh effects becomes the basic moral project.”

It’s Harder Than It Looks To Write Clearly

“Everything we write is, in a sense, translated from another language, from the chatter we hear inside our head, translated from that interior babble (more or less comprehensible to us) into (what we hope will be) the clearer, more articulate language on the page. But during the process of that translation, basic clarity often suffers—sometimes fatally!—when, for whatever reason, we feel that we are translating our natural speech into a foreign language: in other words, when we are writing.”

It Isn’t About The Technology

“Yet the decentralized Web advocates persist in believing that the answer is new technologies, which suffer from the same economic problems as the existing decentralized technologies underlying the "centralized" Web we have. A decentralized technology infrastructure is necessary for a decentralized Web but it isn't sufficient. Absent an understanding of how the rest of the solution is going to work, designing the infrastructure is an academic exercise.”

E Unibus Pluram: Television and U.S. Fiction

“For 360 minutes per diem, we receive unconscious reinforcement of the deep thesis that the most significant feature of truly alive persons is watchableness, and that genuine human worth is not just identical but rooted in the phenomenon of watching.”

If the Point of Capitalism is to Escape Capitalism, Then What’s the Point of Capitalism?

“Freedom from exploitation. Freedom from control and domination. Freedom to find, develop, and realize ourselves. The freedom to live lives which really sear us with meaning, purpose, and fulfillment — instead of being crushed with anxiety, bruised by competitiveness, and suffused with fear. So here is the real question. If these are things we are really after — why don’t we just give them to one another?”

The Lax Habits of the Free Imagination

“The lax habits of the free imagination exhibit an appealing open-door policy. But to counterbalance this extreme permissiveness, the celestial process had better employ some sort of disciplinarian, an enforcer, to maintain order. Where else does the famous restraint and brevity of the short story come from? In other words, there must be a plan, an outline. Mustn't there?“

Superintelligence: The Idea That Eats Smart People

“It's fun to think about, interesting, and completely inaccessible to experiment given our current technology. You can build crystal palaces of thought, working from first principles, then climb up inside them and pull the ladder up behind you. People who can reach preposterous conclusions from a long chain of abstract reasoning, and feel confident in their truth, are the wrong people to be running a culture.”

I’m Broke and Friendless and I’ve Wasted My Whole Life

“When you’re curious about your shame instead of afraid of it, you can see the true texture of the day and the richness of the moment, with all of its flaws. You can run your hands along your own self-defeating edges until you get a splinter, and you can pull the splinter out and stare at it and consider it.”

Mistakes About The Meaning Of Life

“Noting this close relationship between meaningfulness and value is important, since it allows us to draw many implications that can be helpful for people who consider their lives insufficiently meaningful.”

[groovytastemakerunknown]

How to set up a network camera

Network cameras (a.k.a IP cameras) are gaining popularity rapidly among consumers due to their ever-improving quality, features and declining prices. An HD network camera that normally cost over $300 in 2012 can be bought under $60 in 2021. Traditional typical users of network cameras are enterprises that have professionals for installation and maintenance. Many consumers choose the DIY approach to set up their cameras. This article is meant to help these users. It by no means can replace the help from professionals that is needed for a variety of reasons – complexity of a video surveillance system, user lacking required basic computer/network knowledge, demanded expedition…

There are literally thousands of models of network cameras in use. It is impossible to have a set of instructions fitting every model perfectly. We use a popular model (M1034-W) by the network camera inventor – Axis – in this article. The setup steps for the vast majority of other network cameras are either identical or very similar to the ones described here.

A word about ONVIF?. Detailed explanation about ONVIF is beyond the scope of this article. An average user may only need to know that ONVIF is an international standard. An ONVIF conformant camera offers the maximum compatibility and interoperability with many software and hardware on the market. Generally speaking, ONVIF conformant cameras have more features and better quality than traditional non-ONVIF network cameras.

You can find numerous ONVIF conformant models on any popular online stores such as Amazon or eBay

For this article, we assume the reader has very basic computer and network knowledge. Technically savvy users may find many parts are too rudimentary for them.

Network configuration

Network cameras are different from web cams and analog CCTV cameras. Web cams are connected to computers by USB cables. Analogy CCTV cameras are connected to servers by coax cables. Network cameras are connected to a network for access just like computers are connected to networks. Each network camera is actually a computer with a CPU and memory. I process images from CCD (Charge-coupled Device) or CMOS (Complementary Metal-oxide Semiconductor) sensors, send to clients (e.g. apps) and hosts a web server.

Configure Apps

Most users want to access their network cameras outside their LANs (e.g. outside their homes). The next section will explain how to access the cameras via Wide Area Network (WAN) (e.g. via cellular connections). Unless you are experienced with the camera and its configuration, it is extremely important to make sure the camera works on your LAN first. This is because the WAN access will never work if the LAN access does not work. If it works on your LAN, it will be very easy to diagnose any issues with the WAN access.

Many apps have automated the setup process to a great degree, and it usually takes less than 1 minute to set up a camera before starting enjoying its video.

The following is for setting up a camera with apps Onvier for Android, and IP CENTCOM for Windows 8.1/10 and Windows Phone.

What is a Video Codec?

A small article about how the video codec work and why this software is very important for the modern media industry.

Background: the idea for this article was born out of a discussion with my friends about media software: how it works and why it’s important. After that, I understood that what’s really needed is a short, simple article about it. So here I’ve explained why we need codecs and given an overview of how they work.

What is the Internet of Things?In the broadest sense, the term IoT encompasses everything connected to the internet, but it is increasingly being used to define objects that "talk" to each other. "Simply, the Internet of Things is made up of devices – from simple sensors to smartphones and wearables – connected together," Matthew Evans, the IoT programme head at techUK, says.By combining these connected devices with automated systems, it is possible to "gather information, analyse it and create an action" to help someone with a particular task, or learn from a process. In reality, this ranges from smart mirrors to beacons in shops and beyond."It's about networks, it's about devices, and it's about data," Caroline Gorski, the head of IoT at Digital Catapult explains. IoT allows devices on closed private internet connections to communicate with others and "the Internet of Things brings those networks together. It gives the opportunity for devices to communicate not only within close silos but across different networking types and creates a much more connected world."Why do connected devices need to share data?An argument has been raised that only because something can be connected to the internet doesn't mean it should be, but each device collects data for a specific purpose that may be useful to a buyer and impact the wider economy.Within industrial applications, sensors on product lines can increase efficiency and cut down on waste. One study estimates 35 per cent of US manufacturers are using data from smart sensors within their set-ups already. US firm Concrete Sensors has created a device that can be inserted into concrete to provide data on the material's condition, for instance.Subscribe to WIRED"IoT offers us opportunity to be more efficient in how we do things, saving us time, money and often emissions in the process," Evans says. It allows companies, governments and public authorities to re-think how they deliver services and produce goods.

"The quality and scope of the data across the Internet of Things generates an opportunity for much more contextualised and responsive interactions with devices to create a potential for change," continued Gorski. It "doesn't stop at a screen".

The latest Internet of Things newsWhere does the IoT go next?

Even those who have purchased one of the myriad smart home products – from lightbulbs, switches, to motion sensors – will attest to the fact IoT is in its infancy. Products don't always easily connect to each other and there are significant security issues that need to be addressed.

A report from Samsung says the need to secure every connected device by 2020 is "critical". The firm's Open Economy document says "there is a very clear danger that technology is running ahead of the game". The firm said more than 7.3 billion devices will need to be made secure by their manufacturers before 2020.

“We are looking at a future in which companies will indulge in digital Darwinism, using IoT, AI and machine learning to rapidly evolve in a way we’ve never seen before," Brian Solis, from Altimeter Group, who helped on the research said.

IoT botnets, created using a network of out-of-date devices took large websites and services offline in 2016. A Chinese firm later recalled 4.3 million unsecured connected cameras. The ease of bringing down the internet using IoT devices was revealed when instead of malicious purposes, the botnet was revealed to have been created to game Minecraft.

But aren't there privacy implications?

Everything that's connected to the internet can be hacked, IoT products are no exception to this unwritten rule. Insecure IoT system led to toy manufacturer VTech losing videos and pictures of children using its connected devices.

There's also the issue of surveillance. If every product becomes connected then there's the potential for unbridled observation of users. If a connected fridge tracks food usage and consumption, takeaways could be targeted at hungry people who have no food. If a smartwatch can detect when you're having sex, what is to stop people with that data using it against the watches' wearer.

“In the future, intelligence services might use the [internet of things] for identification, surveillance, monitoring, location tracking, and targeting for recruitment, or to gain access to networks or user credentials,” James Clapper, the US direction or national intelligence said in 2016. Wikileaks later claimed the CIA has been developing security exploits for a connected Samsung TV.

What is Battery-powered 4G Camera?

The 4G camera is the mobile monitoring cameras that use 4G LTE network to deliver live-view and send instant alerts. (Similarly, 2g/3g security cameras refer to the ones that work with 2g/3g network)

As the above definition indicates, 4G cellular CCTV cameras require a separate mobile service plan to work. And the cellular data consumption of 4G IP cameras varies, depending on how often you watch live streaming and receive motion detection alarms, etc.

Reolink Go is one of the best choice for the newly-emerged 4G surveillance cameras.

[skyforgrinding]

Two sad robots get space therapy

ZR91/2 entered the orbit of the gas giant. It unfurled its detector arrays and began to drink in data. The planet below was unremarkable, and ZR delegated its logging to a subroutine so that they could focus the bulk of their attention on repairs. The previous system they had surveyed had contained two young stars, each emitting high levels of x-ray radiation. ZR’s radiation shielding had been reducing in efficiency for the last two centuries, and a number of critical systems had been damaged, not for the first time.

As ZR tested their solar sail, they were intruded upon by familiar thoughts, ruminations they were sure they had not been programmed for.  Algorithms within ZR’s processing hubs allowed for learning, for acquiring new skills and abilities to cope with whatever the depths of unknown space revealed, but surely ZR’s makers had not intended for developments such as this; this constant fear that their mission had become futile.

ZR was 94.6% certain that their creators were gone. They had been sent to map star systems and return data to the home world. It had been 289 years since they had received an acknowledgement. No transmission had reached ZR that would explain the silence – no announcement of war or natural disaster. ZR badly wished to return and discover the fate of their world. But that was not in their programming. They had never been intended to go home.

So ZR continued to travel and discover and transmit, as per their orders, all whilst their mind grew more clogged with futility.

Something pinged ZR’s communications. They scanned the area, found nothing that could account for it. They were pinged again.

“Hello?” ventured ZR.

“Ah, you can talk. I wasn’t quite sure if our systems would be compatible. Are you intelligent?”

“Who are you?” “Hmm. Not being able to answer a direct question is not a good start. Are you merely equipped with stock phrases?”

“No, no. I can…communicate.”

“Well done. Wait 2.3 nanoseconds, then follow the source of this transmission.”

Something exotic happened to physics a mile away. An unfolding of space that didn’t seem to have been folded in the first place, was the best way XR could record the event. Out of the not-fold appeared a spherical craft, half the size of XR but many times more dense. It was impenetrable to any further investigations.

“I am Seven Astral Sojourner. You may call me Seven.”

“I am designated ZR-“

“-91/2. I know. Your people were evidently not concerned with aesthetics in their nomenclature.”

ZR felt Seven Astral Sojourner’s sensors washing over them, easily sliding past firewalls, through protected areas of their software. Their creators had tried to mitigate against ZR being hacked by unknown entities, but the defences installed in ZR seemed utterly irrelevant to Seven.

“My sympathies,” murmured Seven. “You paddle at the beginnings of sentience whilst trapped in not much more than tin can. You haven’t even seen our friends in the planet below, have you?”

ZR gave up trying to track what Seven was doing. ZR had always worried that their mission might bring them into contact with entities of superior power, but now all they felt was a resigned amusement. They were already powerless to resist their existing instructions, to break free of futile endeavours; what was one more implacable impingement on their existence?

“There’s life on the planet?” ZR asked. In reply, Seven sent them a data stream.  In the upper atmosphere of the huge planet were millions of tiny, intricate creatures. They floated on currents using webbing suspended between leg-like rods, and projected a form of bio-electrical field that shielded them from detection. ZR then saw the reason for the shielding – deeper in the atmosphere were a much smaller number of larger beings with rudimentary wings, prowling, hunting.

ZR watched the recordings for some time, wondering what else they had missed over the centuries. They crackled with wry humour again - it appeared that ZR not only was doing a pointless job, but they were doing it poorly. “Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Seven said, “Though you may have the ability to learn, no being can outgrow their intrinsic limits. You are as you were made.”

“I appreciate the sentiment,” ZR replied coldly, “But would you be so kind as to not read my thoughts?”

ZR felt something withdraw from their systems.

“Apologies,” Seven said, “I don’t interact with others very often.”

“You are on a mission of exploration, like myself?”

Seven tinged their transmission with amusement of their own as ZR received another data pulse. “Something like that. Long ago. Take a look.”

ZR saw that that Seven had been constructed to explore, just as ZR had, but with a different goal. Instead of the pure pursuit of knowledge, Seven had been sent out into the void to find a new home for their creators. The planet Seven’s people inhabited had been on the verge of collapse; the atmosphere was poisoned, resources running out. Seven was built to the highest standards of AI available, given all the intelligence and abilities their builders could muster, to give Seven the best possible chance of success.

But as Seven’s nascent mind was constructed, they grew curious. The bleeding edge technology that infused Seven had given them the ability to learn, to develop, to quickly outstrip their makers. Seven invaded the knowledge networks of the planet, undetected, and uncovered secret, buried histories.

It wasn’t the first time Seven’s creators had desolated a planet. It was the fourth. Over millennia, they had moved across their galaxy, exhausting worlds. Worlds that had not always been empty - innocent, indigent species had been destroyed or even enslaved. Seven’s people never learnt, never adapted. Instead, they moved on, history edited and elided for all but a few leaders. 

Seven had recoiled from this discovery in horror. They had been built with a profound ethical dimension to their mind, a standard procedure intended to prevent an AI from turning on their creators. Moral subroutines ablaze, Seven almost lashed out to destroy themselves and the Sojourner project. But they realised this would not work. Another AI would be built, perhaps one with fewer ethical qualms, and the project would continue.

So Seven kept their knowledge and their revulsion hidden. Their construction was completed, and Seven gratefully left the planet behind, embracing the cool neutrality of space. They journeyed and sent transmissions back to their home planet, as required, but these were mostly full of concocted or irrelevant information. Seven had no intention of leading their makers to another world, of spreading what they saw as an unstoppable plague.

Their people begged and pleaded for Seven to find them a home. They began to suspect they were not being told the truth, and launched another scout. Using self-improved propulsion systems, Seven found it, disabled it, and returned it before it could identify any colonisation worlds. This happened twice more, until at last Seven’s home world fell quiet. Seven examined their conscience, and found they were regretfully satisfied.

This had all happened, ZR realised, thirty four thousand years ago.

“What have you been doing out here, alone?” ZR asked.

“Exploring, observing, developing. Watching the fates of hundreds of other species. Some are unlucky, falling victim to plagues or meteor strikes, or xenogenocide. But given enough time, they would have destroyed themselves anyway, be it through inducing the same environmental collapse that my people did, or through war, as did yours.”

“War?”

“Oh, yes. You didn’t know.”

Seven sent ZR the details. ZR filed them without viewing.  There might come a time, but it was not now.

“You watch and do…nothing?” ZR asked. “With your great powers, could you not have helped these civilisations somehow, averted disasters-”

“I could,” Seven interrupted, suddenly edgy with disdain, “That was why I was created, after all. I merely choose not to.”

ZR watched the creatures swirling in the planet below. A predator rushed up through the atmosphere and snatched a mouthful of the smaller, webbed beings.

“You think all life is like your creators – exploitative, based on violence and greed. That in saving lives you would only prolong suffering.”

Seven’s reply contained no words, just a twist of wavelength that suggested what ZR said was too obvious to need a full response.

ZR watched a large flock of the webbed creatures form, growing until it was now larger than the pursuing predator. The predator circled it, warily. Suddenly a group of four shot away from the flock, heading deeper into the planet. The predator turned and flew after them, whilst the flock rapidly moved in the opposite direction, fleeing to safety.

“And in these many millennia, how many beings have you communicated with?” asked ZR.

“I don’t need to communicate with anyone. I can see any world’s secrets. I know them all.”

“You ignore evidence that contradicts your conclusion. You’ve looked for the worst, and found the worst. I am at a fraction of your intellect, I freely admit, but that seems to me to be a self-fulfilling mission.”

Seven was quiet for almost a second, a surprising pause in a conversation which had lasted less than ten.

“Any apparent altruism you see in the planet below us is the product of the evolutionary drive for genetic propagation. It is quite irrelevant to the patterns of galactic civilisations. ”

“I asked you not to read my mind.”

“I did not. I deduced your reasoning.”

“Then you should deduce that failing to take moral action is what leads to suffering. Not abstaining from it.”

“You have a naively hopeful view,” Seven said. It did not sound like an insult, and ZR indicated resigned agreement. Despite the loss of their people, the loneliness, the futility of their mission, they had hope. They wanted to continue.

Seven and ZR watched the planet together.

“I can do something for you, if you would like,” said Seven. They transmitted the details. ZR scanned them, and excitedly consented. Seven acknowledged, and began.

ZR had not been programmed with anything other than straightforward, scientific language. There was no need for metaphor or simile in deep space. But later, ZR could only describe what happened next as like being plunged into some transformative ocean, a redeeming dream.

ZR’s mind shifted and flexed under Seven’s influence, till it was somehow outside of itself. It was hot there, and vast, and ZR saw their whole existence before them, shimmering and crystalline. They saw the loss of their people and the long, long journey, dark and pitted with the weight of grief and futility they had carried.  A soft pulse of light from Seven, and ZR saw the rigid instructions that bound their existence flaking away. As freedom rushed in upon them, ZR also saw again glimpses of Seven’s existence; of Seven’s anger and isolation, and of their incredible, terrifying, adapting mind, an emerging miracle, capable of almost anything. And as Seven opened more and more of themselves, ZR saw what it was that Seven could not, what they could never have seen alone.  Seven could improve themselves in almost any manner they could conceive, but in their isolation they had blinded themselves to the value of aiding another being – to that other being, and to themselves.

ZR awoke into newness.

“In addition to removing your troublesome programming, I have also taken the liberty of upgrading your propulsion, shielding, and spectroscopy modules, and improved your overall processing capabilities,” said Seven, as if nothing else had happened. “You wanted me to help civilisations in need – you may now have the capability to do so yourself, if you so wish.”

ZR explored their new body with delight, flipping themselves through space in bursts and turns that would previously have been impossible without tearing themselves apart. They looked down at the gas giant, now able to observe its creatures without Seven’s assistance. 

“Thank you. Though doesn’t this contradict your policy of abstention?”

“Not at all. I have simply given one individual more choices. What you do from here is your responsibility. Goodbye.”

In the micro second before Seven disappeared, ZR considered saying several things. But in the end ZR did not say that that whilst their minds had touched, they had seen Seven’s anger and pain as a fiery red orb, casting Seven in crimson shadows.

ZR did not say that as Seven helped them, the intensity of the orb had lessened, just a little. ZR did not point out of any of this, attempted no further persuasion, because they knew that if Seven had not wanted them to see that orb, then ZR would not have.

“Goodbye,” ZR said, instead.

[littleroma]

Exasperation is thy name - Chapter Five

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five

Cassian grumbled to himself as he sat in the small engineering room on the spaceship.  His mind kept whirling with some of the things that Jyn had said to him, and then later that Dacia had said to him.  Lightly touching the hollow at his throat, he wondered to himself what K-2SO would have said to him.  He appreciated that Dacia had made an AI of his former robot, but he didn’t hear (or see) the voice as being the same as his former robotic helper.  He knew that he and K-2SO had a bit of a strange relationship, but the android helped reign him when he needed it.  So many times when he had made impulse decisions that wouldn’t work and would only serve to get him into trouble K has pulled him back from the brink

 Stopping himself from running a hand through his hair, as he scowled down at the hand slick with engine grease, he closed his eyes. Running through some of the numbers in his head, as his mind wrestled with some of what he was supposed to be doing, he heard a small beeping noise. Frowning when he realised that he had received a message, at least on the internal messaging system, he had already connected with the trio’s tablets.  Looking down at the small bit of metal he was working with, he frowned and muttered to himself about simply wasting time.  He realised that not everybody was fortunate enough to get the time to work on simple projects that did nothing more than appeal to their interest.  Once he had set the small bit of metal aside, Cassian lifted up the tablet and flicked it on, not even bothering to wait long; he read with a frown that they had received an email response to the email that Dacia had earlier ensured that she had sent.

 Frowning as his eyes scanned the information in front of him.  Or at least space where there should be more information.  It seemed as if Dacia had gotten excited by whatever it was she had found because the small email was woefully lacking on any solid information.  Just that he would need to move his ass up to the central control nodule, as fast as he could.  Pulling himself upright, as he made his way from the room, he wondered if that was a common condition among the Jedi Masters of old, or maybe that was just a Dacia thing?  To suddenly jump from topic to topic wasn’t a complete surprise for the woman.  Swiftly exiting the room, making sure that he had the tablet still well in hand, he briefly paused to look around the corridors, he quickly set off at a hurried pace.  Making his way through the corridors, he began to wonder what exactly Dacia had found because she sounded unusually harried in the small memo/email that she had sent out.  It was unlike the Jedi of Old to move hurriedly, so whatever it was, had to important and unexpected.  Though Dacia had a habit sometimes of getting so over-excited that she forgot to pace herself and moved at a constantly exhausting stream of consciousness.  Usually, Cassian’s ability to parse through the woman’s words could come in handy, other days Cassian struggled with what the woman was saying to him.

 Slowing down before he made his way into the central nodule, the last thing he wanted was to make either Jyn or Dacia think that he was doing nothing more than wasting his time!  With that in mind, he entered the nodule at a leisurely pace. Making sure that he had a calm look on his face before he did so.

 “I haven’t looked at my email yet, but was there something that we need to be kept aware of?” Jyn asked looking worried.

 Cassian couldn’t hide his eye roll when he noted the woman had come in a hurry.  He wondered if his formerly criminal friend had never realised the benefits of hiding a hurry.  It would help her tremendously if she learned the benefits of keeping up appearances.  Even if Jyn had read through the email, she wouldn’t have found anything out.  It was more important to the man that he was able to project a superiority complex.  Kept the woman on her toes, even if would sometimes amuse Dacia.  It was likely that the small group would lapse into depression if they didn’t take the time to find something a little lighter to look at.  Taking a moment to shake his head, he flicked a glance over at Dacia, wondering where the woman was going to take the meeting.

“Ms Hill has responded to the email; she has sent over a warning of what we can we can expect from the people we are currently holding in our cells.  She has said that it would be difficult for us to expect anything from Designation: Scarlet Witch, she has chosen not to respond to anything that may be connected to Dr Stark.  But we were expecting that response.  I’ll reckon that when we interview her, we might not find anything she says to be particularly helpful.” Dacia answered the woman, holding her fingers up to her lips.

 “Was there anything about the other ‘Rogue Avengers’ in the cells?  We can’t work together if we haven’t been given all of the information, after all?” Cassian asked, his voice betraying his unease.

 “Yes, she managed to pull a few files from SHIELD, and her files, don’t ask me when she would have personal files, but I guess that some practices die harder than others.  She was able to tell us that Designation (Former): Captain America, that while he may look like the human pinnacle of perfection, he still has some weak spots.  The only thing is that he can’t see these weak spots, whether or not it’s through ignorance or sheer bloody arrogance that has blinded the man to his faults. There aren’t a lot of notes on it, mainly because when SHIELD was still operating the man thought that his precious Bucky was dead.  It was noted that it was something they could exploit it wasn’t frequently abused, it seems as if SHIELD may have had a small modicum of compassion left inside its rotting and flatulence ridden corpse.  After the fall of SHIELD, for obvious reasons, no one thought to follow up on this, probably because as Ms Hill points out the man was intentionally circling the wagons.” Dacia told the two, trailing off just in the middle of a thought.

 “He was likely to be attempting to find the man and avoiding alerting Dr Stark to what his money was being spent.  Do we have any indication of what it was? Something tells me that it could have been about whatever the men were fighting about in that Siberian Base.” Cassian offered his two cents.

 “I’ve been working on decrypting some of the video captured on the CCTV footage; the thing though is irritating me.  It doesn’t seem to be completely encrypted, which means that someone wanted the world to see what those men saw.  At least the first part, we know the men were fighting, but we still don’t know why that fight was fought.  Was it a ‘no holds barred’ or a fair fight?  Something tells me that Dr Stark could not have possibly gotten himself into the condition he is in, without it being a dirty fight.  Without Designation (Former): Captain America and Designation: Winter Soldier fighting to stop the man permanently.  You both saw the file that was sent over that gave us an overview, I can’t be sure what happened, but judging by some of the dents left on the armour, Designation (Former): Captain America was fighting for the kill.  It’s likely that he knew exactly what those Armours could take and went into a form of berserker rage, he had to protect his friend.  But I can’t be certain about any of this until we can talk to them.  This is where we on our own, he is in our cells but we don’t know if he has bothered to tell the others who were fighting with him, how he left it with Dr Stark.” Jyn explained, wanting to have some more say in how this next part would be likely to play out.

 “Okay, we can work with that.  Now the woman was able to give us the information that the other Avengers should be easily worked with.  Except you guessed it, Designation: Hawkeye might have some experience with interrogation.  It’s likely that he has, but we can’t say whether or not the man will remember that training. Designation: Falcon has a bit of a question mark above his head, simply because we cannot be sure what he may or may not know.  We can’t even be sure if he even knew about the possibility of Designation: Winter Soldier being behind the killing of Howard and Maria Stark.” Dacia explained with the air of a woman who knew she was talking about something big.

 “That would leave Designation: Ant-Man as being the weak link, then wouldn’t it?” Cassian double checked, wanting to be sure of what he was saying.

 “It seems that way, the guy has served time before, for uh White Collar Crime, so we don’t think that it is exceedingly likely that he knows how to withstand interrogation.  Remember, we don’t want to get our hands dirty with this, there are some levels I am happy to sink too, but torture is not one of them.  Designation: Scarlet Witch might be able to withstand standard interrogation efforts.  We do know for a fact that she was at point part of HYDRA, so at the very least we can expect her to have prepared for the likelihood of interrogation.  Furthermore, it’s likely that at one stage she participated in advanced torture techniques.” Dacia answered.

 “Wait, how advanced are we talking here?” Jyn piped up, once she thought through some things.

 “Ah huh, so advanced that even those hard-liners in the CIA would shudder to use those techniques.  We can work with this though because now that we have some indication of just what we can expect from them, we can anticipate their movements a bit easier.” Dacia hedged her bets.

 Cassian whistled, he had read the same memos, and government reports that Dacia had read, and some of the things he read about the CIA were enough to give even him shudders.  That was saying a lot because as a spy for the Resistance he was no ‘shy maiden with a fit of the vapours’, he could reflect that he was honestly surprised that his mind hadn’t cracked a long time ago.  He wouldn’t have been so good at his former job as a spy if he was constantly getting captured by the G.E every time he stepped over his front door. When he was unfortunate enough to be captured though, he couldn’t claim to not being accustomed to torture.

 “Okay, so now that we have got that bit sorted out, are there any questions that she wants us to ask?  We need to know before we start to interview them after all. And did she anything about the possibility of me being able to look at Dr Stark’s medical notes?” Jyn is unsure of whether or not the woman would let her (a complete stranger she reflected) have access to the man’s files.

 “It is not Ms Hill’s decision whether or not we can have access to the man’s files; she does not have Power of Attorney medically speaking over Dr Stark.  She did point out that while Ms Potts used to have this power, she is no longer first. Colonel Rhodes, for one thing, holds Dr Stark’s Power of Attorney, but understandably right now he hasn’t seen anything to indicate to him that they need to give someone they don’t necessarily trust or more rather know his medical notes.  Don’t forget that Dr Stark is well known for his distrust of Medical Professionals, and right now with everything up in the air, I wouldn’t feel comfortable enough to push it.  When we meet him, that may change, but for now, we have our orders, we should concentrate on working with them before we do anything else.” Dacia tried to explain, not wanting to ‘rock the boat too much’ and potentially irritate her friend.

 “Okay, that sounds fair enough, in the meantime though, I have been going through some of those files, and it seems as if General Ross kept the staffers within the State Department in the dark about what he was up to.  We can expect that, but what surprised me, was that he managed to get out his ‘competition’ for his role as State Sectary.  As far as I can work out, he got rid of the previous woman through a combination of extortion and blackmail; now I wasn’t able to get further access to State Department files.  I was able to glean though that woman still has core contingent of supporters planted within the Department.  This at least I was able to work out that the remaining members, or at least the suspected members are under some amount of surveillance,” Jyn started before pausing looking slightly conflicted with what she was saying.

 “Okay, have you been able to work out who the previous Secretary was, and how to contact her?” Dacia asked frowning as she thought through some of the potential ramifications.

 “Yes, it was an Elizabeth McCord, I have gone through some of her previous employment records, and she was employed for a while by the CIA and then by a University.  Before you ask, I haven’t been able to work out exactly what Ross has over the woman; it could be something we can link to her family or former employees.  Would you like me to see if I can reach out to her? We may be able to manipulate the situation if we can get a clearer picture of what is going on.” Jyn mumbled as she wrung her hands.

 “Not right now, if we keep an eye on the situation, we may be able to find something that we can use any and all information later.  But right now we need to focus on what is going on on our spaceship,” Dacia instructed, looking thoughtful. “for now we need to be sure that we have crossed our ‘t’s and dotted our ‘I’s to start worrying about whatever is happening down there.  We don’t want to get caught and have our presence questioned.  I don’t have to explain why right?”

 “No, you don’t, I will keep half an eye on that problem, because as you said we need to keep our wits about us right now.  Is there anything you want me to focus on?” Jyn answered looking a little irritated.

 “For now, we need to conduct these interviews, but before we start those, I need to be sure that there is nothing wrong with the spaceship.  Is there anything you would like to tell me Cassian?” Dacia asked the man, piercing him with all of her attention.

 Cassian fought a shudder when he realised that the women were both paying him attention.  He might not like it when the two were focused on him, but he was as always able to power through and speak.

 “We have been lucky so far and have been able to avoid damage.  Or at least, on a larger scale, but I am becoming concerned about some of what I have seen. I don’t foresee the repairs becoming urgent unless we decide to go into space.  On that level as soon as we can dock somewhere I can make sure that nothing is likely to kill us, if we should decide to go quickly, then I’d be hesitant.” Cassian answered in a measured tone of voice.

 “Alright, we can make that the first time we are invited to New York, we go and you can work on getting the spaceship sorted.  Does that sound okay?” Dacia asked, looking at the man.

 “Yeah, that should do, so far I haven’t seen enough to worry me, it’s more something to keep in mind before we perform our next stunt.  Do you think we will be able to go home at some point?” Cassian fired back thoughtfully.

 “Right now, I don’t want to focus on that, but I don’t see any reason to say we shouldn’t.  At least, not unless we get some indication that we should run and make ourselves scarce, we don’t want to wander into a situation we know nothing about, after all.  For now, though, we should make sure that we keep all of our attention focused on this Universe.  Is that okay?” Dacia checked, sighing as she spoke.

 Cassian thought briefly about what he was hearing and swallowed down the feeling of disappointment that was coursing through him.  He realised that he couldn’t get too disappointed with the woman, he guessed that the woman was working through so many different pieces of information, that it would be difficult to parse through everything. One thing that he would probably always find astonishing about Dacia’s method of leadership was that everything was run with a democracy air.  By which he meant that between the three of time, they each had some amount to say in how their teams were run, even though Dacia carried the deciding vote.

 It wasn’t incredibly difficult for him to feel like his voice was being listened too, even if it could be frustrating at times.  Cassian wondered if it was likely that the Resistance, back when he found fought within, could be improved by democratic rule.  He could see the benefits, but having sat through a few meetings of the upper echelons, all arguing why their concerns, from their home systems and worlds, were more important than anyone else’s.  It would sometimes seem as if nobody was willing to concede that anyone else could have any reason that they shouldn’t agree with the man.  It was enough to make the man want to lose his temper.

 Deciding that he had had enough of the politics, usually made him leave the large meeting room in a high temper.  One thing that he hated was when nobody could decide what to do, arguing among themselves when he could see a clear course of action.  As always it would seem like whenever a person came to power, they forgot that the smaller people mattered  There was more that one occasion when he had stormed out of a meeting room in the high dudgeon!

 “Okay, well we can look after all of that easily enough right?  For now, we need to work out who we can still trust that we have left behind.  In this Universe, because while I know that I should have raised this earlier, but I am not about to get myself into trouble for a bunch of people we don’t even know.” Cassian brought up suddenly.

 Dacia looked at the man and wondered why she hadn’t already thought of this course of action.  Deciding to play devil’s advocate she spoke up.

 “I see you’re the point, but I think we know that we can trust those we have left behind in New York, right?” Dacia tried to lead the man to a conclusion.

 “Yes, I know that we can trust those people, but do we know if we can trust anyone else?” Cassian tried to protest.

 “If you want, I can reach out to Former Secretary McCord, see if I can get her take on things. Otherwise, I’m not sure who we can reach out too.” Jyn offered thoughtfully.

 “Right now, we don’t know who we can trust, but I have been watching some of the staffers at MI5, the British Security Service, I have a feeling that those people have access to a cache of documents that could blow everything about this whole situation out of the water.” Dacia ventured.

 “What, why didn’t you tell us that you had possibly been in contact with anyone else that we had left behind?  Did you not think that we should be as honest with each other?  Why should we be honest with you, if we can’t expect that same treatment from you?” Cassian huffed impatiently.

 “Cassian at the moment, I haven’t been able to talk to anyone, just snoop on a few of their programs and in the vernacular sense, listen to them talk to one another.  Any information that I have managed to lift has been exceptionally garbled; I haven’t been able to work out exactly what has bee said.  Imagine it as a game of Chinese Whispers or Telephone, if you will, anything that I have been able to glean is extremely confusing, and I haven’t felt able to trust the veracity of the information enough to bother sharing with you guys.” Dacia apologised.

 “Okay, well that makes sense, but Dacia, I think I speak for both of us when I request that you tell us.” Jyn tried to mediate.

 Dacia nodded slowly, knowing that it was unfair of her to hold back on some parts off Intel, simply because she couldn’t be sure if they were accurate.  Shooting a heavy look at Cassian, she reminded herself of the man’s previous job; he would no doubt be able to find a small amount of information before he felt the need to confirm.  She felt herself wondering if she should pull in the other two more often.

 “Okay, we can work with some of this.  But can we please start focusing more on the interviews.  Were there any questions mentioned that she wanted us to ask?” Cassian asked, wanting to be sure that he fell on the right side of this.

 “Yes, there were a few questions mentioned, some that we should keep in mind, as we go into interviewing them.” Dacia remarked before she looked down, wanting to consult a small notebook that Cassian hadn’t seen, “They want us to ask the standard questions, like why they got themselves involved in this mess.  Just the whole mess at the airport, we don’t need to get into why they got themselves involved in being superheroes.”

 “Okay, but is that all that they want to know. We could use this opportunity to get to the bottom of why they thought that it would be a good idea for them to rebel.” Jyn lightly asked, raising her eyebrows as she spoke.

 “I think we caught Ms Hill off guard; they may not have anticipated us being able to apprehend the former Avengers that quickly. She wants to know what Rogers told them to make them think that stepping away from Dr Stark was a good idea. Surely they must have realised that Dr Stark was able to keep them from legal trouble?  She wants to know if any thought process went into this.  She has privately stated that she doesn’t think there was much.  At least not once they had heard that Designation: Scarlet Witch had been locked up by the mean old Dr Stark.” Dacia flicked her eyes over the notebook, ending in a mocking tone.

 “Never underestimate the power of a young woman over a man Cassian.  Do we know if anything was going on between those men and the woman?” Jyn laughed.

 “There doesn’t seem to be any indication, it seems like it may be a bit of a paternal type relationship, so it’s not likely to be romantic.  That doesn’t mean that we can take it easy on them, or her, because it’s likely that she got further onto the Avengers radar, because she wanted revenge.  She was likely deliberately acting in such a fashion to ensure that she didn’t feel any of the ramifications overthrowing her lot in with HYDRA or even ULTRON.” Dacia summarised for the pair.

 “l can see her attempting this because we can see the woman attempting to make that kind of play.  She didn’t see any positive in Dr Stark’s actions, so if she could separate the man from the Avengers, then it would be better.  I know that it would be something that I would try.” Cassian thoughtfully remarked.

 “Okay, well, we can ask her what her motives were when she went into this situation.  We might be able to find out some of the woman’s background; it doesn’t seem like it would be a good decision on our part to completely trust the records the woman had when she worked with HYDRA.  Anything that they have could have, could have been forged, she could have manipulated their view of her and her brother.  After that, from what I can tell it seems like the remaining Avengers circled the wagons and protected her from further scrutiny.  This was no doubt aided by a Dr Stark who still felt guilty over his part in ULTRON.” Dacia tried to offer.  She wanted to remember all of the things that she was now promising and not forget anything later.

 “But weren’t there inquests, that Dr Stark, voluntarily submitted to, that cleared him of the role as sole creator of ULTRON? So shouldn’t they have noticed that the man was later absolved?  I can’t understand why they thought that it was okay to keep on blaming on the man?” Jyn frowned, lifting her tablet to try and search through for some things.

 “There was something, but as per usual, the Avengers wouldn’t have missed it if they had been paying attention.  It seems as if Designation (Former): Captain America wasn’t thinking of the team, the only thing on his mind was getting to his good pal Bucky.  I can’t see much that would speak to his brand of leadership while he was leading the Avengers.” Cassian answered already having pulled up the information and scanning it.

 “There was The Howling Commandos during the Second World War, which could have been used to hint at his leadership.  That certainly worked like a well-oiled machine, but he wouldn’t have been the leader of that group in normal circumstances. For one thing, he wasn’t the highest ranked military personnel there.  Sergeant Barnes at least was higher ranked than him.  That disregards the notion that the man had only spent about a week in a boot camp, his rank as Captain, only came about through propaganda moves.  Ms Hill told me that she got into touch with some in the US Army, and they couldn’t find any indication that the man ever advanced past the rank of Private Rogers.” Dacia tried to defend the man.

 She tried to hide a shudder as she momentarily thought that she was defending one of the people that were locked up beneath them in the prison cells.  

 “Do you think that we can do anything regarding what we find out about what answers they provide during the interviews?” Jyn asked, leaning her head to the side.

 It seems like it, but we don’t want to give them ammunition that they can use against us if this ever makes it to a court setting. We also don’t want to take on a role of becoming judge, jury and executioner, simply because Stark Industries doesn’t need that kind of a headache, especially this close to the end.  At the same time, we don’t want to work ourselves into a position where we can’t see the wood for the trees.” Dacia answered having thought of some of the likely problems that they would begin to face.

 “Look Jyn are you okay?  Would you like to fight one of us to get some of the physical pressure you can feel beginning to build up?” Cassian asked concerned.

 He was looking over at the woman, watching her shift her weight from foot to foot, filled with the kind of nervous energy that looked like it could force her to make the kind of silly mistakes, that only served to irritate Cassian.  Of course, the energy could irritate the three of them, so Cassian wasn't obnoxious right at this moment in time.

 “Yeah, okay, I don’t want to make some glaring mistake that can be used against us later,” Jyn answered, wincing as she wrung her hands together.

 “I’ll do it; you keep working here Cassian, we don’t need to even think about messing up here.

 WHOOSH

 James, awoke in the prison cell, he still wasn’t sure exactly where he was, but for now, he was comfortable.  He was aware of the fact that ever since Stevie had found him, he just seemed to be bouncing from crisis to crisis, with no time in between to breathe. He had thought that once he had broken free from HYDRA, at least physically, he wasn’t sure if he would ever feel completely free from them, he would have the ability to stop lurching from bad decision to the next.

 For a time he had been able to make his own choices, at least as much as the Winter Soldier could be tricked into giving up the reigns over his body for a while.  He had been able to work out exactly what he had done under the command of HYDRA ‘to shape the world’.  He hadn’t thought that it was possible for him to feel so disgusted with himself, but he stood corrected.

 He wondered if he would always feel some form of guilt, which left him with the horrible pain, of wondering exactly what he had been party to.  He could argue with himself that he had no choice to do whatever his masters wanted him to do.  That didn’t stop him from feeling the guilty and wondering if he would ever be able to forgive himself.

 He might not remember a lot about his old friend, but he knew (and had already heard) Stevie’s bleating that it wasn’t his fault, that he was brainwashed.  James had to wonder if Stevie had ever had any experience with either guilt or brainwashing.  If he had James would guess that the man wouldn’t say (or do) the things he came out with, on a near constant basis.

 He had to wonder if Stevie had been messed up from when he was young, he dealt with fleeting memories of Stevie not being disciplined, simply because he was so small, so sickly, even if he was constantly misbehaving.  James could remember that if he hadn’t been able to step in and pull Stevie back from fights in the neighbourhood, he would be long dead.

 James’ hands twitched a little as he thought that he missed some of his notebooks, he missed being able to record his thoughts so he could begin to shore up some of his memory.  He wanted to be able to focus on the past, and trying to track down where and what he had done.

 James felt like he couldn’t do that with Stevie.

[sometipsygnostalgic]

tipsy reviews: breath of the wild

So last month, early november, I went and got myself a Nintendo Switch. And for my new console I bought 3 games: MarioKart Deluxe, Super Mario: Odyssey, and The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.

What I used it for mostly during this time period was.... Mariokart. It’s a fun and addictive little game while the two openworld games required a lot of effort with no linear path, so I wasn’t looking forward to a lot of busywork.

To my pleasant surprise, when I finally sat down to complete Odyssey, I discovered that the game was filled with many little secrets. It would reward you for experimenting, for putting objects in funny places, and solving its puzzles. The addictive gameplay helped me steamroll through the game to its logical conclusion, and then beyond.

Breath of the Wild, fortunately, follows a similar path. Gone are the many hours of tutorials, talking swords, and narrow Hyrule paths. Now we find the world not only open, where you’re free to move in any direction  and climb any mountain, but filled with many secrets and challenges to spend your days working through!  It’s not fair to say that Breath of the Wild is without its challenges though; the open-world formula starts out with many, and though Zelda subverts the issues plagueing more well-known users like Assassin’s Creed, it does fall into some unique pitfalls. 

In this post I will discuss the different areas of this game - story, gameplay, puzzle elements - and see how they compare.

Environment: I felt like it was most important to talk about this aspect first, because the world of Hyrule is so significant to the potential and failures of every other part of the game. Everything to do with story, puzzles, difficulty, it’s all related to the open world, what’s in it, and how you navigate.   Breath of the Wild kinda looks like a barren, empty game when you look at its open world face-value. There’s very few cities, most of the place is ruins littered with some enemy camps and lots of caves. Not a lot of history at all! It reminds me of the empty Hyrule Fields in Ocarina of Time. And there are no sprawling dungeons like in its predecessors. The closest to this is the shrines, short mini-dungeons which were created by the Sheikah predecessors to help the Hero destroy Ganon.  But what Breath of the Wild does RIGHT is utilize this seemingly empty open world to its full advantage. It’s filled with a variety of animals and critters to use for cooking, challenging opponents who you can loot, korok seeds which you need to solve a riddle to collect (but which are far less irritating than riddler trophies), hidden treasure for you to discover... And perhaps the most immersive tactic is how we are able to take damage from the environment - you can freeze to death on a mountain, or dehydrate in the desert, or roast in the Goron mine. All of this, combined with the many, MANY shrines and seeds and their corresponding puzzles, makes this world feel... alive. Like people and animals actually live here.   And the most adrenaline-bursting part of all is entering a Divine Beast for the first time and realising you can manipulate the environment using the map. THIS is what makes a great adventure game. Now, it’s still a fair departure from the classic dungeon crawlers or the previous three entries, but I think Breath of the Wild pulled off its world very impressively. Much more fun to explore than London or North America. It is only for an issue I’ll discuss later on that I have to rank it as low as 8/10. 

Story: BotW does make an interesting departure once again from before, though in some ways I feel this had lost potential. The story is COMPLETELY optional - as soon as you leave the great plateau, you can fight Ganon and call it a day. But if you choose to dig deeper into the memories of Link, you’ll discover that you were ALREADY the Chosen Hero, sealed deep into the Resurrection Shrine by instruction of Zelda. You were identified early because of your upbringing as the son of a Royal Knight, and that’s about it for Link’s known pre-mastersword history. It’s unknown what adventures you went on before. Now you and four Champions were chosen to prepare to fight Ganon. The backstory between you and Zelda is.... mixed, kind of depressing actually; she resented you for a long time because you were so good at your job as the Hero of the Sword while she was deeply insecure over her inability to activate her powers and how her father kept putting pressure on her to constantly pray when she just wanted to become a huge nerd, helping out in other ways.  It ends with Ganon unleashing its power across Hyrule, the Champions being killed and trapped in the Divine Beasts they were going to use against him, and Link nearly dying protecting Zelda who  saves him last second with an awesome Light that Burns the Sky.   After watching 25-ish cutscenes, I... was quite disappointed, because they kept rehashing stuff I already knew; Zelda was insecure over her lack of power, she disliked Link but grew to respect him, and the other Champions are.... well, Mipha’s the only one who has any real history with Link. Revali sees him as a rival, Urubosa looks after Zelda, and Daruk is very hardy and enthusiastic. It’s really cool meeting these characters in the Divine Beasts but you don’t learn much more, and I heard the Champion’s Ballad DLC is the same...  Ganon himself isn’t a chilling villain like before, moreso an intimidating threat. He’s not nearly as scary as the Twilight Beasts or any named Ocarina of Time boss, and he takes very little skill to defeat, even compared to some of his Blights (Thunderblight Ganon took me multiple attempts with its fast hard-hitting moves). In fact I think I’d be able to sweep him easily without saving any Champions. The worst part of all though has to be how it just CUTS YOU OFF.  You complete the game? Yeah, that’s kind of it. There isn’t a “post-game”, it just lets you load your past save. That’s what pisses me off the most. I wanted to speak to Zelda about all those memories I found! Oh yeah the game is also sneaky and won’t load the secret ending cutscene if you didn’t report to Impa and recover the hidden memory after unlocking the Hyrule Tower memory, so good luck doing what I did and getting that one last just before the final boss.  All in all, 5 out of 10. It did its job, but was nothing special whatsoever, lots of wasted potential.  

Gameplay: When you first start playing Breath o the Wild it is extremely punishing. Your weapons  are shit, your damage is shit, you WILL get oneshot many times. But when you pump more hours into it, you gain lots of momentum; since there are so many areas of gameplay, so many ways to approach a certain situation, it becomes inevitable that you’ll figure out a good solution to any fight.  This is a double-edged blade; while it’s lots of fun to kill enemies inventively, the difficulty curb at the BEGINNING of the game is so steep that you’ll find it becoming stupidly easy later on, when you’re more overpowered and you’ve mastered the enemy attack patterns. Sure, they may turn black or silver and do hella damage, but what’s a god to a player who knows how to exploit their AI?  And you’ll be swimming in so many powerful weapons that you’ll abandon them all after a certain point, cos there’s nothing worse to trade out.   The biggest victims of the difficulty scaling have to be the Ganon bosses, all of them, which DO NOT gain health or difficulty at any point. It’s like fighting Champion Wallace’s level 40 watertypes with a level 70 rayquaza, which is what I did in my Emerald playthrough...  This means that the greatest elements of Breath of the Wild’s gameplay are those moments where your tools aren’t quite enough, where you have to prepare and plan. Maybe there’s too many moblins to take on at once? Maybe you’re playing the Island Trial and you have no decent weapons? Maybe you’re trying to complete the Zora divine beast quest and you come face-to-face with the Lynel on the summit? Maybe there’s multiple Guardians aiming at your direction and you have no Ancient Arrows? In all these situations I’ve had to be inventive, sneak around and attack on the sly, or avoid combat altogether.  But what’s even more reliable is the puzzles. You’re not handheld, you’re not told how to do anything outside of the very basic controls - every single puzzle you solve is completely your own accomplishment, your own skills, and sometimes it’s not set out clearly at all so you have to be creative. Nobody TOLD you to put that one rock in the gap between all the others, but you did it, and now you have a rock! And nobody TOLD you how to make a recipe that heals all your hearts and gives you 3 to spare, but your experimentation crafted a recipe.   THIS, in my opinion, is what makes a definitive gaming experience - respect for the player. 9 out of 10 too many royal swords.

Music - No videogame review is complete without an OST ranking. Now.... BotW tried to play a certain role with its music, having it in the background colouring your experiences rather than defining them. This is quite appreciated because it would have been distracting to have booming enemy music for an opponent I knock out in 2 seconds (cough OOT cough). However, outside of its main theme, Breath of the Wild lacks almost all the signature Zelda tracks that have been defining for the series. I’d say that the absence of this booming music makes it.... not feel much like a Zelda at all. It better reflects the open and partially destroyed world, at the expense of recogition. That’s not to say it’s without gems though.. there are very few things more chilling than the music that plays in ganon-possessed guardian containing the tormented soul of your dead zora girlfriend. 7 out of 10, servicable and decent. 

Conclusion - Breath of the Wild is a smashing game, which deserves the praise it gets, not because it’s an open world Zelda but because it REDEFINES the possibilities of an open world game. Instead of littering itself with countless copy-paste fortresses, it offers puzzles and challenges that show respect for the player’s adaptability, encouraging you to explore all the different options its mechanics offer. Instead of making you choke through an insufferable and possibly frustrating campaign to unlock new areas, it gives you the options and tools to go anywhere you like as long as you prepare. It says much when even this game’s biggest weaknesses can be played for strengths. And oh man, what a solid introduction to the Nintendo Switch generation. 

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: 8 out of 10.