#i think cas does die?

[disabled-dean]

Controversial take but I'm gonna come out and say it- Dean knew before cas

[shallowseeker]

The irrationality of awakened feelings

Theory: The Empty is little bit in love with Cas.

When The Empty took on Cas's "little thoughts," it became something. It ALSO a la Amara, got a weird connection to Cas.

It...."felt everything that you feel."

And now? The Empty is tormented by its own awakened feelings, and it cannot sleep.

At some points, it knows perhaps that it may be in love with him, but it's ANGRY about that. (Whereas Amara "would never hurt Dean," all the Shadow wants to do is hurt Castiel.)

///

That's ALSO why it took on Meg's face in the end. (It's cognizant of its own emotions that it's jealous. Jealous enough that it doesn't want to try to BE Dean.)

Because, reasons.

It wants to be an Individual, and well. Meg took on the face and name of another, and The Empty resonated with that aspect.

It doesn't know what to do with It all.

It doesn't know how to be an individual or parse those emotions.

So, it covets. It rages.

[quietwingsinthesky]

a fact of this au to me is that Ruby is a lesbian and her interest is in Anna and Sam exclusively and she puts up with Dean and Cas for their sake. especially Dean.

[shallowrambles]

I actually think the Benny in Dean's Werther Project hallucination was truer than Dean's idealized recollection/memory of him.

And deep down, even though he rejected it for self-preservation, Dean knew it. That's why his anxiety manifested the way it did in the first place. TLDR: It's alllll about Andrea.

A lot of this is redundant, but here ya go.

Benny was acquiescing of the execution of corrupt loved ones. Blood Brothers is a crucial Benny episode. It's illuminating...and unflattering.

Reality check? Benny was mostly okay with "a sacred executioner (Dean)" doing the painful dirty work so he didn't have to. Benny might also be particularly sympathetic to monster-suicide, as that's what he chose for himself.

Benny directly showed us in-canon that he was resolved to kill even his most beloved "corrupt family members"--like Andrea Kormos. She was quickly deemed too far-gone and corrupt, nevermind that their conversation was too short, too condescending, and too aggressive on Benny's part to explore meaningful change and solutions.

So yeah.

I think the real Benny might be totally game for Dean killing himself so his loved ones didn't have to. Especially if Dean himself posed a risk of doing harm/attacking said loved ones, as Andrea Kormos did when she attacked Benny.

That was the "real" Benny all along. And that hurts.

///

Benny didn't try to convince Andrea. He instantly judged her, offering no validation of the emotional struggle with addiction or alternative way forward.

Benny believes in sparing loved ones the task of killing their corrupted loved ones. He was part of practicing it with regards to Andrea. See below:

ANDREA takes his hand, but stays where she is. ANDREA: Where, Benny? BENNY: What are you talking about? Anywhere. [ANDREA looks down.] You're not leaving here, are you? And you never were.

So, yeah. Okay. He's clocking her intentions here, but he's also doing a lot of heavy lifting assuming her thoughts, ascribing the most uncharitable mode to her motivations. (Using an always-and-never statement to boot.)

It comes off so condescending. It's an accusatory mode of communication.

He jumps straight to the vibe of, "you never wanted to leave here, you're corrupted!" whereas her "Where, Benny?" speaks more of desperation and fear. (It reads to me more like: "How, Benny? Why should I fight what I am, Benny? I can't do this, Benny. Can't fight this. It's too hard.")

But he...doesn't seem interested in helping her rediscover herself. He doesn't validate her feelings or illuminate a path to redemption using his own past sins to help pave the way.

He doesn't even talk about another way forward. (Nevermind that he himself did some pretty awful crimes on the high seas for decades before "redeeming" himself. (Rules for thee, but grace for me?)

ANDREA: We have everything we need right here. The operation is still perfect. We can ride the high seas, plunder together. We can have the life we always wanted. BENNY: What I wanted was to leave a burning crater behind. I wanted to put your memory to rest. ANDREA: But I'm not a memory. Benny, I'm right here. BENNY: What I loved – it ain't here anymore. It was snuffed out a long time ago by monsters like me... like what you've become.

I just want to emphasize how this conversation is barely a conversation. It's an attack on Andrea before a real conversation can even begin to take place.

The mere act of being afraid of leaving, of having Stockholm Syndrome and losing her "father," of feeling connected to the Easy Mode of vampiric hunting is met with an over-the-top attack on her character.

(You're not you. You're corrupt. You've become like me, because of me, and I don't want you anymore. You're dead to me if you're like me. You can't be redeemed...even though *I* was.)

It's a flagrant dehumanization.

///

What could he have said? Is this a tonal argument?

I guess it could be if you squint, but he directly insulted her, denying her existence to her face. That's why she reacts with a desperate, "Benny, I'm right here."

She's not a memory. She's monstered.

He could start with acknowledging how hard it is to be a 'human-ethics-centered’ vampire. He could share his own struggles. Show some empathy, or at least some sympathy! At bare minimum, he could discuss a new way forward. ("Anywhere," isn't a discussion.) Instead, we get...zilch.

He's much too busy being horrified by the apparent corruption of The Perfect Woman.

He goes straight to the vibe of: "you're an irredeemable monster."

///

Is it worse to go too far...or not to try at all?

And here's where the Sam-Bobby-Dean triad of demon detox takes on a more positive light. Their methods may have been cruel and harsh. (Detox is an ugly, horrific, twisting, screaming-and-lying thing. Detox tells you that drug dependence is who you are. It tells you you like the disease. That you perhaps ARE the drug/disease).

But anyway, Bobby-Dean-Cas did not give up on "corrupted/addicted/overly righteous" Sam.

Likewise in season 10, the methods of Sam-Cas-Charlie were evil, but they did not give up on "corrupted/disinhibited/unfeeling" Dean. Although Sam and Cas started out being resolved to kill Dean, they realized they couldn't. Wouldn't. (In season 10, perhaps Sam is in his mind resolving not to trigger the abandonment Dean got so unhinged about in season 8.)

So I guess the question is, what's more evil? In SPN, is it worse to go too far...or to barely try at all? They're both bad, perhaps, but one is driven by hope, and the other by nihilism: "we're all damned."

Benny’s arc is rooted in nihilism from start (Andrea, revenge) to finish (torn apart in Purgatory, as he probably intended to go out).

///

I think Andrea's feelings were obviously hurt; she was insulted...and with very good reason.

I mean, it's no wonder she attacks him. She cries, "You think you're better than me now?" He says he thinks they're all damned, and that certainly enrages her.

She senses, perhaps correctly, that it's really just lip service.

His actions imply that he really does think he's better than her. He did crimes and got redeemed. She's not even gonna get that chance. Not really.

(She has the "chance," I suppose. Technically. Sorta. But he purposely agitates her with his nihilistic lamentation of man-woe, spending much of his time judging her, not trying to convince her.)

You see, even when he messes up, Benny still "gets to be" himself. Even if that's a corrupted vampiric self. He's still "Benny." Not Andrea. When Andrea is a struggling addict, a vampire, Andrea "just is a memory."

Andrea is immediately disallowed her own identity simply for voicing that it might be easier to stick to the vampiric ways of hunting to live. It's black-and-white, abruptly cruel judgement, even before Dean gives the killing blow.

///

Later in the season, via deleted scene, Benny completely falls off the wagon, insisting "Dean doesn't wanna know (about his feeding off innocents)."

Benny is a symbolic perfectionist here. (As Dean himself can be when it comes to hero-worship and people.) Benny wants to remain idealized, just like he wanted Andrea to remain idealized. They're eaten alive by the symbolic, cooing Empty: "Wouldn't you rather remain a fond memory than a constant, festering disappointment?"

Benny's okay with that. And in the end, Dean's okay with that, too. That's why both Amelia and Benny feel like mirages. If Benny is "away," Dean can fantasize that maybe Benny got to be “King of purgatory,” and most importantly, Benny gets to live in the idealized space Sam could never live up to: "brother who never let me down."

(Dean is struggling to cope with life in this season. I think his hero worship of people is something he tends to do to help combat the abandonment he feels is inevitable. And yes, as I've said before, I think this is because John was a hot-and-cold caretaker!)

The deleted scene implies that Dean could perhaps be content not knowing all the ways Benny fails to live up to the cartoon of Benny he's drawn in his head (as a means to cope with the disappointments of living). Benny was good because he was at arm's length, not close enough to wound, hurt, or disappoint. And as Benny's organ donor/blood donor/drug dealer, there's a comfortable dependance Dean can fall back on, giving him control and feeding into his specific brand of abandonment-neuroses.

Benny never clawed his way back the way other characters did, because the writers decided to strip away his complexity and cut out the meat of him. Give me the guy who fell off the wagon. Give me the guy in The Werther Project. That's the real Benny, and he's great. He's, to quote Amara, better than the false ideal. He's real and complicated.

//

As for Andrea's redemption, perhaps in Benny's mind, if Benny's not *immediately* enough on his own to change her behavior by *checks notes* coming at her with the least charitable assumption and denying her personhood, then she's a Lost Cause (TM). If Benny's not enough for her to change, as she was enough for Benny to change, then "no one/nothing is."

So, he goads her with harsh, black-and-white words. "It was snuffed out a long time ago by monsters like me... like what you've become." I.e. I'm a monster reformed, but you're a monster that deserves to die before we even validate your pain or talk about the chance of recovery/healing. (You were ruined/corrupted by my father in our game of war. Ouch.)

She is hurt and ofc attacks, and the sacred executioner (Dean) strikes her down (so Benny doesn't have to).

It's also potentially a kind of family annihilation/self-nihilism. That in Benny's mind both he and Andrea deserve to die for being "damned." (Indeed, Benny will submit to his own murder with nary a complaint.) I think this latter one is perhaps more charitable, that Benny was always in a bad place--suicidal.

Again, Benny’s dependence on Dean as drug dealer was comfortable for Dean, allowing him to both keep Benny at arms’ length/not let him close enough to be de-idealized and hurt him the way his family and loved ones have, while at the same time being forever on the hook of blood donor/organ dependency (the symbol of the in 8x03 cooler). Benny’s life on the show was like Benny’s death: a figurative open door that you never intended to open. And Season 8 is all about surreal, idealized figments.

ANDREA: You think you're better than me now? BENNY: No. I think we're all damned. ANDREA snarls and her fangs descend. DEAN stabs her from behind and then cuts off her head. BENNY and DEAN look at each other before BENNY looks down at ANDREA’s body.

Anyway, that's why I wanted Andreas Kormos for Purgatory II. I still do.

I was also so partial Andrea's rage, disappointment, and confusion. I wanted to see Andrea versus Benny. At minimum, I wanted Andrea back as The Stockholm bookend to the Nihilism, even if Benny was ripped to pieces (as his nihilism would predict). Andrea still had a will to live, even if it was evil/vampiric, and that's far more interesting to me.

///

All in all, it would be completely in-character for the nihilistic Benny we got to know to be comfortable seeing Dean go the way of a corrupted Andrea. We didn't see Benny’s nihilistic worldview develop or shift in a meaningful way during the course of the show. Indeed, his nihilism actually became more severe the longer he drifted.

If "one friend" (Dean) abandoning him and some hunters tailing him is enough to get him to fall off the wagon, he had a very tenuous grasp on resilience indeed. We should all support one another and not seek to violently undermine (Hi, Sam), but at the same time we are not responsible for another person’s addictions.

Benny can be an off-key parallel like how Sam sometimes shifts the burden of his "wellness responsibility" to others? (The Benny-as-idealized-surreal-brother and Sam-as-real-imperfect brother hits hard. Benny’s addiction is excused and enabled as necessary; Sam’s is framed wholly as a choice, which...addiction is complicated. We're much less kind to family about it.)

All in all, I think it's foolish for Dean (and the audience) to think that Benny would treat Mark of Cain!Dean in any way meaningfully different than he treated Andrea Kormos.

Dean's hallucination in Purgatory was more in-keeping with what we saw out of the real Benny. The box knew that Benny was in fact the most likely of Dean's friends to argue for suicide, and it was probably uncomfortably right about that because Benny did not arc towards growth on any occasion. Dean's self-soothing narrative was the false one. Hopeful, maybe. But false.

Makes you wonder if the killing of Andrea was something that was subconsciously actually haunting Dean in a very real, gloriously complicated way. (The way I think Cas's taking of a human vessel subconsciously haunts in him 14x10 Nihilism).

I think Andrea haunts him especially in light of his own newly devolved disinhibition/loss of free will/corruption.

(The real Benny wouldn’t encourage a friend to die? We saw him do just that: tell someone they were too gone…and then watched Dean kill her so he didn’t have to.) Deep down, I think this is an example of Dean’s anxiety over the reality of what happened with Benny and Andrea. Charitably, he’s not seeing through an illusion so much as choosing to live for himself in this moment! Which is fine. We all need our fictions.

Disclaimer: I like Benny. I think all of this makes him crunchy and interesting. And it makes him make SO MUCH SENSE. He, like so many many characters in SPN...fell to nihilism. :(

[deangirldisease]

actually ive been thinking abt 91 whiskey ever since that post and i dont wanna bother op abt it but like. it literally has a happy ending fjfjfj its edgy and it hurts like a bitch on many many occasions but theyre alive in the end AND theyre together and theres two epilogues that are so full of love and. i would die for 91 whiskey no questions asked truly i would

[monstermoviedean]

.

[castielmacleod]

Hi! Have you already made a post about the parallel of both Crowley and Cas digging a bullet (specifically targeting them) out of their bodies to triumph over their enemies?

I feel like I've seen it.

Hello! I have not, though it’s neat that they both do that! I think it’d be fun to pretend Crowley got the idea from Cas in the first place, after learning what happened to Ion, before getting the chance to use it himself. Although if I remember correctly, Abaddon also frees herself from the devil’s trap bullet by digging it out (with her severed hand no less—VERY metal of her) so maybe it’s just the thing to do lol. Nothing tops Cas sticking his bullet in his opponent’s eye though, that was wicked clever.

It’s interesting that Abaddon wasn’t bothered that Crowley might attempt to free himself in more or less the same fashion she herself so recently accomplished, though I think she only wanted to slow him down rather than actually keep him in place permanently? So maybe it wasn’t a high priority for her anyway. Or maybe the writing is just bad 😭

Anyway if that post about Cas and Crowley’s tactical similarities does exist and you’re able to find it again, let me know! I’d love to have a look.

[clairenatural]

regarding this I don't think the screenshot of the script is from red meat? is it?

also, either way, I think they did still mean that whole scene to be about sam and dean (🙄) I can't send the screenshot, but after reading the script scene it says:

"MICHELLE: (....)

I just watched the man I love die.

On Dean. In his own way, with different outcomes-- he just went through the same thing"

this is word for word from the script for red meat (pg. 46)

it is a real screenshot from red meat! just a different (earlier?) script :) (this one, page 9 of the doc/3 of the script) it's from a different point of the ep than the screenshot which does unfortunately still have the gross flavor text. however I'm gonna take the win anyway sdgasdasd any win for the hellers in an episode like red meat is good enough for me

[sydmarch]

one thing I'll never forget is before my parents let me quit ccd I was talking w the older twins who were there bcus they were the daughters of the lady running it & one of them said something about listening to good charlotte & I was like "who's she?" & they were like LMAOOOOO it's a band & im just like. ok well I am six years old

[vendettasfanfictioning]

Ok so. "Why does this sound like a goodbye?" Was fucking heartbreaking, right; we have the full-on uninterrupted eye contact, the head tilt, Dean's already open mouth twitching before the scene cuts to Cas' "I love you," like he had more to say, but Cas beats him to the punch. It's great, we love that. But for the dialogue to be sequenced that way, and to have Dean reply with, "don't do this, Cas."

I'm only just realizing how fucking insane it was. And sure, I might just be coping here, at the end of the day who fucking knows, but look at it. Think about it. Now let yourself feel it all over again.

It's Dean's death knocking on the door behind Cas, and it's Cas' death emerging behind Dean. Like this, they're directly facing their own demise—but they're too stuck on each other, in their moment, to give a damn. And then Dean doesn't say, "I love you too." He says, "don't do this."

He isn't disgusted or ashamed or put off in the slightest by Cas' confession, because if he is then why is he on the verge of tears? In what world would it make sense for him to want to cry after his best friend confessed to him, if the confession was something he did not want. He says don't do this here, don't do this to me now.

Even if, and that's the most unlikely if to ever exist, Dean did not reciprocate Cas' feelings—don't do this is still so fucking powerful. Because Dean's connected the dots, happiness [...] is in just saying it, and Cas said it, so where does that lead Dean? That's right, with Cas dead again, trying to save him again.

Don't do this. Don't die for me, don't love me only to die for me, don't love me at all, just stay with me.

Don't let me watch you die again and not even let me follow you—because, at the very least, that was a consolation. She's gonna kill you, which Dean knows that Billie knows will hurt him more than his own death, and then she's gonna kill me.

"Don't do this," was actually so fucking powerful, I don't know how it slipped past me until now...

[samwinchestersfatknockers]

I wish they’d made supernatural even weirder. Like shit they could only have gotten away with on HBO weird. Graphic and obscene violence of a strange and sexual nature. Dean washing Sam’s dead body, holding him on a moldy mattress like he’s a baby again!! Sam and Dean open mouth breathing foreheads pressed together because sam almost died again levels of weird. Show me how Sam knows he can’t die, that Lucifer won’t let him. I want to see Sam eat a bullet, bleed himself out in a tub. I want to see Dean find out. Give me cold and ruthless Cas for longer. No one can ever kill their father in this show! I want to see them try! I want to see Dean agonise over his dads warning! Stand over Sam’s sleeping body with a gun! Lay down next to him, temple to temple and think about shooting!!! Sam has faith in god and then spends 10 years being tortured by him!!! What does that mean!!! Mark of Cain!! They are Cain and Abel, interchangeably!!! Sam already died in a field!!! Dean was already buried in one!! What does that mean!!!! I want violence and pain and enmeshment!!! They cannot live together!!! They cannot survive apart!!! Dean wants to tuck Sam in his chest behind his ribs!!! Sam wants to crawl inside Dean! He wants to run far enough away he can’t ever be found!!! Someone else said it but ! Make! Demon! Dean! Feed! Sam! His! Blood! SAMS BODY HAS NEVER BEEN HIS OWN!! DEAN HAS ALWAYS ONLY HAD CONTROL OVER THE THINGS JOHN LET HIM! They are so fucked up and we barely scratch the surface in that godforsaken show!!!!!

[stargazedwinchester]

Womanhood | Dean

Summary: Dean helps to comfort you during your time of the month, without much experience about periods, he tries his best.

This is a little different to the actual request, I hope that’s okay! I’ve tried my best to replicate it though :) Let me know if you want Sam’s/Cas’s version too!

Based off of this request here, thanks!!

Word count: 1,134

Warnings: some swearing, not loads!

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

This morning, you woke up with the most unbearable pain, cramps that felt like your appendix had ruptured. You groan in pain, hoping it would subside soon. You clutch your belly and slowly get out of bed. Your alarm clock flashes 7:39am, and you let your head fall. “I love when I have no sleep,” you mumble to yourself, letting out a huff. Looking behind you, Dean isn’t passed out, snoring so loud it would’ve probably woke you up anyway. You hold your belly and walk out toward the kitchen.

“Morning,” you grumble, and Dean turns around from the stove. His face lit up seeing you at the doorframe, your hair a mess and in one of his spare Star Wars t-shirts and your own pyjama shorts. “Someone’s looking rough.” He jokes, noticing you’re not smiling back. “Aw honey, what’s wrong?” He asks, his smile quickly fading. The smell of breakfast hovers over you, like it’s mocking your morning sickness. “I think I’m coming on my period today…” you say, and Dean turns round to face you, letting the eggs and bacon sizzle quietly on the stove. Toast pings out of the toaster at the same time. “Are you sure you’ll be okay for today’s hunt? If you’re in pain, I’m sure Sammy and I will handle it fine.” He genuinely looks concerned, as if you haven’t had plenty of periods before. It hurt like hell, sure, but you could manage just fine. Along with the fact that periods can make you super emotional and/or angry, you were certain it could come in handy when killing a couple of monsters.

“I’ll be fine Dean, honestly. I want to come with you both.” You smile, leaning over the counter top. Dean nods in agreement. “It’s always fun having you around. If you change your mind just let us know, okay?” He shoots you a quick grin before turning back to the stove, plating up your breakfast. “Where’s Sam?” You question, usually he’s already by the table reading his favourite book or getting ready to go out for his morning jog. “I think he went for a shower, I’m not sure.” Dean spins round and passes you a plate with 2 slices of toast, egg, bacon and hash browns. “Wow, this looks really good, Dean. Thank you.” You smile warmly at him, and he returns the gesture.

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

Your rapid breathing causes you to hunch over and rest your hands on your thighs, you take a deep breath. “God damn…” you say, looking up at Sam, who’s right in front of you. “What a kill!” You chuckle to yourself, wiping your hair out of your face. You stand up, giving Sam a high-five. “Good job, Y/N. It’s like you don’t need our help.”

“I know, right? I’m just that go-“ “Y/N! Watch out!” Sam cocks his gun and tries to shove you out of the way, a sudden loud bang shocks you as you feel something sharp pierce your skin abruptly. You fall over, Dean rushing to your side. “I’ll cover you, Dean, make sure she’s okay!” Sam quickly checks back at you, noticing blood is pouring out of our calf.

“Fuck. Y/N, are you okay? Does it hurt?” He panics, shuffling over to apply pressure on your leg. He rummages in his pocket for a handkerchief and immediately applies it to your wound, he rushes to whip his belt off and tie it tight enough around your leg to hopefully stop the bleeding. You can practically see the fear in his eyes, and you laugh quietly.

“What’s so funny, huh? Almost dying?” His hands shake, trying to keep the pressure on your leg at all times.

“I’m not gonna die, Dean. It’s just a gunshot. Stop worrying,”

You place your hand on his, and he gazes at you with so much worry. His gorgeous hunter green eyes comfort you, even though he’s feeling the complete opposite. You pull your hand up to his face and caress his cheek, he finally shows some sign of calming down. It’s like his whole body relaxes by just your touch. “I’ve honestly felt worse.” You joke, slowly moving your body to sit up. You wince, feeling cramp in both of your abdomen and your leg. “Help me get up,” you say, and Dean pulls you up, anchoring you from underneath, your arm draped behind his back. “Let’s get you home.” He says, catching his eye on Sam, making his way back inside.

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

It had been a few hours since you arrived back at the bunker, you lay across the sofa, clasping your belly as the cramps still hadn't subsided. Your leg, however, had been patched up neatly by Sam, and were given some painkillers for it. It didn't seem to work that well.

"How're you feeling?" Dean pats your foot, walking past the sofa to perch himself on the very little space left on the armrest. "I feel like I've been shot in two different areas," You try to joke, but it only makes Dean glare at you, waiting for a real answer.

"Could you get me some period pads, or tampons, please? Either work," You state, trying to sit up. "Uh, yeah, I can do that. What... size?" Dean looks puzzled, which only makes you smile. "Regular, Dean. Get the ones with wings."

Dean stands up and gathers his thoughts. "Pads with wings. Tampons with wings. Got it. I think." He places his hands on his hips and looks to the ground, then to you. He smiles lovingly. "I'll be right back." He says, before grabbing his flannel and exiting the door.

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

An hour or so had gone by, and you hadn't moved from the sofa. your cramps have worsened to the point of also giving you a headache. You hear the door open, then close. Dean's back from the store, and he's got a white carrier bag full of items. "I'm back," He chuckles, "Got you a few things." He walks up to the sofa, laying the bag on the coffee table next to you. "Oh, Dean, you didn't have to..." You trail, as he takes out chocolate, a small teddy bear with a t-shirt that reads 'Get Well Soon' with a small red heart underneath it. He had also bought you the pads that you had asked for, aspirin, fresh bandages for your leg and a small bunch of red roses.

Your smile gleamed as your eyes met his. "You really didn't have to." Your voice almost a whisper, and he moves closer to you. "I know, but I wanted to." He smiles, leaning in to give you a quick kiss.

"Thank you." You say, reaching your hand up to the nape of his neck, pulling him in for one more.

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

ok so. forgive me for a second but i've been abnormal about skizz and ren since the hiatus between third life and last life and holy shit this season is already not helping.

let's talk about skizz, ren, undying loyalty, and golden apples, shall we?

so the thing that you need to understand about skizz is that he is loyal to a fault. impulse literally says this exact thing about him in limited life, and skizz himself says himself: "you know me and my factions, i never turn." the second thing is that the first person their loyalty manifests for in third life is ren. he and ren run into each other on the second night when ren is getting accosted by mobs outside skizz's door and skizz gives him a place to stay the night. ren decides to trade skizz for his leather, for the upcoming enchanting buisness, and gives skizz a golden apple in exchange. skizz thinks this is wildly more than he deserves but is very thankful. skizz doesn't say it here, but this is the moment he swears his loyalty to ren.

throughout third life, he is willing to do or get basically anything for ren. the two of them literally die together to the tnt trap. when ren dies on the alter and everyone thinks martyn betrayed him, skizz is the first person to get there in the morning. he's in half broken gold armor and borrowed tools from bigb and he still tells ren "get behind me", still tries to protect him from martyn. when skizz is on red, he goes a bit crazy, but he channels that bloodlust into protecting ren. he kills jimmy in the red desert, he kills cleo when she tries to attack ren, he chases down impulse when he betrays dogwarts and dies trying to kill him.

when skizz dies in third life, he's got an unused golden apple in his hotbar. after he dies, he remembers the first time he met ren, etho, and martyn, and he spends quite a bit of time on his memory of ren and ren appears in his first memory of etho. after he dies, ren wields a blade named in his honor.

skizz spends third life loyal to ren- he dies for him and he dies with him.

in last life, ren and skizz end up on completely different sides, and it very quickly gets bad because when ren becomes boogey, he kills skizz. he lures him into a trap. he tells skizz he loves him. skizz literally says "i am broken hearted" when ren kills him. ren holds no regard for the relationship they used to have and yet skizz cannot help but compliment ren's skill with the trap, outright says he can't be mad at ren.

and then it only gets worse because skizz tries to storm ren's tower with impulse after they've gone red. and that! doesn't go well! and while skizz is retreating, while he is eating the golden apple in his hot bar, ren shoots him dead.

and that is the last time they've spoken. two years ago.

because skizz isn't in doublt life. and ren isn't in limited life.

and when skizz's time comes in limited life, he ensures he doesn't have a golden apple in his inventory this time. this time, he hands the apples off to his teammates, where he knows they will go to good use. and then he hands etho a diamond fucking axe (red winter is coming) and asks him to execute him for the sake of their alliance. ok! sure! fill ren's role more explicitly, why don't you!

and that first session of secret life genuinely only made it worse. when skizz is talking to tango and cleo about their alliance, skizz says he wants to give leadership over to someone else: "i want to be more of a soldier than a leader this time." cleo says she'll fill the roll of leader- she doesn't take orders well - and then seals their alliance by giving tango and skizz a golden apple each. because of course she does.

and well, we all know that didn't really work out, so that's one person off the list that skizz can fill the dogwarts shaped hole in him with, so then he goes to bdubs. he says he'll lay his sword at bdubs' feet. he says he'll win bdubs with his loyalty. he calls bdubs "my leige", jesus christ dude, you couldn't be less subtle unless you straight up called him ren's name.

skizz has been (whether accidentally or on purpose is up to you) trying to recreate the experience he had with dogwarts, and particularly what he had with ren, since the moment dogwarts fell. he can't have it with ren because he missed his only chance in last life, so he'll fill the void with whoever he can. his fellow soldier. ren's successor. ren's new kingmaker. anyone. and it's never gonna work. i need ren to come back for like, 900 reasons, but i especially need him to come back so skizz can have a shot at making it to spring.

[hanrinz]

✩ ‧ ₊˚ I'M NOT READY TO LEAVE (BUT I SHOULD GO) — ISAGI YOICHI

notes: fluff, just isagi missing you & being cute. + i had the urge to write for him while listening to vibes by ca ahhhhh!!

isagi thinks he might just die on the floor if he doesn't see you right now. the feeling of clawing at his chest just makes him more anxious, it was only 01:26 you're probably sleeping he thinks. but he just needs to see you, to feel you, to just be in your presence.

it was pathetic, but can you really blame him? he just needs to hold you for a little while.

and as much as he tries to resist the urge, he just can't bear it any longer. looking at your photos on his phone does nothing to help him in his desperate situation.

"fuck it." he mumbled as he took one of his jackets and putting on his running shoes, getting out from his suffocating apartment. feeling the breeze of the night winds through his hair.

isagi would definitely do anything to be with you, the thought of just coming to your home is enough to put a smile on his face.

—

the pounding of your door had you awoken from your slumber, who could be disturbing your peace in the middle of the night? still in a dazed state rising out of the comfort of your bed, rubbing your eyes as you make your way to the door.

opening the door, still sleepy and facing the one who had graciously visited you at nightfall, "hello..?"

"hi baby," there stood your boyfriend, who you had seen exactly 6 hours ago when he came by to celebrate for a win in a match, "i'm sorry for waking you up."

"yoichi, did something happen?" your hands are already coming up around his neck, seeking warmth. truthfully, yoichi felt bad for disturbing you for something like this, but now you're embracing him he thinks it was so worth it running home to you.

"nothin' just wanna see you," as he takes place on your neck, you can feel his breath fanning, snuggling deeper and occasionally placing kisses in it, "let me in, yeah?"

you could only hum in response, already lost in the feeling of his comfort.

you don't really know how the two of you had ended up laying on the couch, but you really couldn't care less. with how the exhaustion settling in your bones, being in his embrace just made you all too cozy, your eyes already fluttering as sleep takes over you once again.

without any thought, you've begun to doze off, seemingly content with just sleeping in the living room.

yoichi thinks you're pretty like this, blissfully laying on his arms, his fingers tracing up your face moving away the strayed hairs, placing a kiss on your forehead. taking you up in his hold again walking toward your bedroom, instinctively snuggling in his hold.

yeah, yoichi just might die.

89+ new messages!

bachira: you're with y/n-chan aren't you? simp.

chigiri: isagi practice starts in ten mins, where the fuck are you

rin: fuck you don't come to practice

[f4iryyuiirz]

​🇹​​🇭​​🇪​ ​🇼​​🇦​​🇾​ ​🇼​​🇪​ ​🇸​​🇭​​🇴​​🇼​ ​🇴​​🇺​​🇷​ ​🇱​​🇴​​🇻​​🇪​ ​🇹​​🇴​ ​🇴​​🇹​​🇭​​🇪​​🇷​​🇸

synopsis: what i think the main three boy's love languages would be (giving + receiving)

characters: stan, kyle, kenny

date written: 08/02/24

warnings: n/a

stan marsh

giving: quality time + physical affection

i feel like at times stan just wants to give you his undivided attention and not have to focus on the troubles of the world outside. like his dad, his sister, the farm. but all those worries disappear as soon as he can just spend time with you. you guys don’t even have to be doing anything; you could just be cuddling in silence, and he would still be comforted by knowing you’re still with him, and he can give you every ounce of the love he has for you. he also loves holding you in his arms after a long day and just listening to you talk or the sound of your breathing. he loves to pepper your face with kisses. he also loves to cuddle, so if you ever feel even a little upset, he’s got you.

receiving: words of affirmation + physical affection

there are days where stan doesn’t even have enough energy to get out of bed in the morning, which are the days where he needs your comfort the most. just hearing even the basic stuff like ‘i love you’ or ‘you are a good person’ would send chills down his spine because he was actually being treated like a human, and not a useless punching bag by his sister or as a walking campaign by his dad. at times, stan is just so used to being alone that he feels uneasy being so close to you, but he really, really doesn't want to let anytime soon, it was too late anyways. he already loved you too much.

kyle broflovski

giving: acts of service + quality time

kyle appreciates any time he has with you, even if it is doing school work together. he never finds the silence to be awkward, and doesn’t feel it necessary to fill the air with words. only sounds are of the pencil kyle is using scratching softly on his notebook and the click-clacking of the laptop kyle let you borrow because you forgot yours at home. which brings me to my next topic, acts of service. imagine you’re in class and you forgot your pencil, don’t worry kyle’s got a spare. you don’t like olives on you pizza? kyle is happy to scrape them off for you. didn’t want to bring a jacket and now you’re about to die of pneumonia? kyle to the rescue, but straight after he’ll give you a long lecture about how he was right and you should have listened to him and brought your jacket. but it's okay because he does that out of love as well.

receiving: words of affirmation + acts of service

kyle can get insecure; sometimes the guy’s words get to him. like the time he got voted the worst looking in the class. that hurt him big time so having you just say something like ‘i like your nose’ or ‘i think your hair is cute’ can make quite the difference. he also doesn’t mind letting you see him without his hat, because he trusts you wouldn’t go out of your way to hurt him and after a while of dating he might even let you touch it. as much as kyle does love doing things for you here and there he also would like the same done for him. he likes the idea of knowing you care about him and his feelings just as much as he cares about you. if he’s sick, he knows he can trust you to take notes for him so he can copy them or you could bring him some soup. it could be anything even if it’s small he doesn’t care. as long as he knows you care.

kenny mccormick

giving: physical affection + acts of service

now, we all know kenny is a very physical person, who loves rather sensual physical things but he also loves to just cuddle you after a bad day or just holding hands. he also loves kissing you, wether or not that leads to something more is up to you. he is also pretty cool with pda, as long as you’re comfortable of course. he gets handsy too; he might slip his hand in your back pocket or he’ll gently scratches your back and run his fingers through your hair, caressing your cheeks. He could also would wrap him and you in his parka while just rubbing your back.

speaking of his parka, he let’s you borrow it if you get cold. but before he does he would drown it in the cologne he ‘borrowed’ from stan. he would also get you flowers that reminded him of you from the park. since kenny doesn’t have alot of money and he would want to spoil you if he did, acts of service is the next best thing for him as he can still treat you the way you deserve to be treated. he could take out the trash for you if he saw that you didn’t like doing it or taking care of you when you’re sick even if he gets sick because he’s more worried about you. when he gathers a few bucks, he might even buy you a energy bar with chocolate in it. but whatever he does or gets for you just know that he does it with all the love in his heart for you and just you.

receiving:  physical affection + gift giving

as much as kenny loves kissing you and touching you, he loves knowing that you actually like doing those things even more. kenny just wants the same he gives out. he’s pretty touch starved, even just a simple kiss on the cheek is enough to make his day. he also loves being held and kissed and cuddled just as he does to you. he gets pretty clingy because he gets lonely, the only people he has to talk to at home is karen. his parents are out drinking and his brother is doing only god knows what in his room with his friends. kenny wants to feel loved, and wants to feel like he's in a loving relationship with someone who truly cares for him. he wants to be held and kissed, and to feel like he's actually important to someone.

kenny might not have money, but he appreciates the small things. seeing you spend money on him and being excited to give him anything you buy makes him happy. he understands the value of everything and appreciates it. and it doesn’t even have to be things you bought, it could be something you made specifically for him, especially if it involves cooking, like homemade cookies or cakes or something more personal, like a picture or drawing. he isn’t really picky, but he is very grateful to have someone like you in his life and just hopes you feel the same about him.

a/n: it took me 3 days to write this but i can’t tell if it’s shitty or not.

[jazeswhbhaven]

Maybe I want Him to Bite...(Lucifer Selfie Card Prologue React III) *Spoilers*

You know the drill lovelies...back it up to part 2 if this is the first part you're seeing!! ->

From there you can be linked back to Part 1 if you haven't read that first either. If you've read both, yay you made it to the final part! Let's goooo (༎ຶꈊ༎ຶ╬)

Alright so let's see what' this goofy ahh bitch did...

We done broke all the rules up in here and I'm-

Good LORD he looks like that????

I was startled because I'm like oh no boo you gonna have to warn me before you pull a "jeff the killer, creepypasta, the rake, smile dog" on me. /j

LMAO I can hear this even though MC doesn't have a set voice.

And everyone else was silent asf like not saying a goddamn thing. Even Gamigin who's usually loud as fuck was saying nothing. LMAO

Yes MC, you did. All in order too like? XD Even though this is some shit I'd do personally, I would also be like "Oh damn I didn't die??"

And Lucifer was like "What are you talking about?" and MC was panicking trying to get an answer from the nobles being like hello????? but silently and Marbas and Morax hit em' with the-

"Ah so staring at him and touch his snake doesn't do anything. Got it."

This would have been me.

Because what do you mean?????? YOU HAD RULES AND WAS JUST THROWING MC OUT THERE WITHOUT CONFIRMATION????

This is why I have trust issues. Lol

So it turns out Lucifer was reacting the way he was out of being startled, not because he was going to end someone's life. But I think we all know what he looks like when he actually is out here in murder mode. The event was clear in that regard.

So Lucifer calms down the snake on his clothing, and MC comes up to also touch it out of curiosity. So this tells us, the snake doesn't really cause any harm per say...but I'm sure it does something more so give Lucifer the power to do something.

Snake boi

MC apologizes and well Lucifer doesn't really understand why for a moment (he does laugh at the action though mostly from amusement). But MC lets it be known that they are apologizing to the snake and him.

WAIT WAIT WAIT "Child of Adam?????" AYO? I need more lore about why he said that, which I can only guess why he said that. (and honestly, now I'm thinking of Adam from Hazbin Hotel lmao)

But I mean, this statement just shows he's a least learning to observe MC for their own personality. Not Solomon's.

MC is confused tho, but Lucifer is like "You're amusing"

ANd then????

HE BITE?????

HE BITEEE

h e

b i t e

Stop. Why is this so hot?

HES SO GODDAMN HOT????? BITE ME SOME MORE????!?!?!?!

SO AFTER HE BITES MC HE ORDERS THEM TO TOUCH HIM?

And this is where I was freaking out on that post. Because I had a headcanon I didn't share here, that because of Lucifer's power he could basically order you to do whatever and you'd have to carry that out.

i.e. If he said you aren't allowed to touch yourself ever unless I give you permission, that means no matter how horny you are you can't get off or do anything until he says so and that brings in a whole new kind of foreplay/dominance type thing where literally his word is to be followed. But at the same time....there could be loopholes if you're smart enough to figure them out and want to be a brat.

Whoever gets his card and unlocks the rest of the story?? I'll be waiting patiently.

Okay, so I'm gonna say that from this prologue alone, his selfie card is possibly the best selfie story out of the 5 kings. I was vibin' with Mammon's but this one rightchea? Phew. Mostly because I wanna see how Luci gets down and it already seems like his venom is some kind of aphrodisiac. Because sheesh MC was getting worked up and horny quite immediately from being bitten and you know what?

I wonder if you can extract the venom and have it applied to foods for the same effect...(Don't tell Bimet he'd capitalize on that shit)

But man. I told you all that once his card released I'd probably stop caring about Juno and transition over and well that happened. (still gonna do the reader fic though)

It's funny also that I did this prologue faster than I did his event which I STILL have yet to post about. lol

But as always lovelies, I thank you for sticking through my crazy reacts

-your lovely admin ♥( ˆ⌣ ˆԅ)