#i think i was anxious but also i don't know ! anxious and v v distracted hvfh

[keeps-ache]

WAIT. my art so cool actually

[trashc-anon]

hazbin hotel is polluting my mind so if I were the editor's intern: reco

• either stretch the season into 16 episodes or cut the plotlines in half;

• definitaly cut Alastor's screen time in half (if not more)

• make up your mind how much of the pilot is canon (especially regarding Lucifer)

• episode 1 is good as is, a soft reboot from the pilot without getting in too much detail and I love hating Adam, "Hell is Forever" is banger (i hope the music writers were properly paid and Disney learns why AI is a bad idea!)

• episode 2 is a problem, because Sir Pentious presence is only because of the V's, make that episode 2/2;

• ep 1/2 - Charlie and Vaggie leave the hotel to recruit; Sir Pentious attacks, all on schedule

• Charlie or Vaggie save some of the eggs from being crushed; when the "battle" is over, Pentious is cautiosly agrees to entertain their hospitalty; angel is untrusting;

• "Starts with Sorry"

• leave the Vs as unseen foes, and Alastor's only appearance is his shadow at the end of the episode (Overlords are mysterious unseen threat)

• episode 2/2 - Vs are anxious that Alastor is with the princess;

• see, the first couple of episodes make sense, but they take away from the girls and the hotel

• but "Stayed Gone" is sooo good! maybe use at a later date?

nevermind

• "Stayed Gone" is a fun song, BUT it doesn't make sense for Alastor, mysterious serial killer, to have childish rivalries; why didn't he kill Vox back when he rejected him and Vox got 'pissy'?

• either make Vox less pathetic or less there;

• soooo, episode 3/1 is would be trust exercises

• i actually liked Angel's plan with BDSM, he's not wrong and I wished he had the chance to be an adult that LIKES sex separate from the victim that uses overtsexuality as a defence mechanism

• each character could have their own moment to show what trust means to them; trust comes in different shades;

• between Angel and Maggie we see sexual intimacy and surviving extreme situations; Husk has issues with openess; Niffty with intrusive thoughts;

• IN FACT! actually stablish WHY Husk and Niffty are part of the exercises! they're not guests, Husk says as much, they are employees LOANED by Alastor; they're not there to earn redemption; *vague hand gesture in confusion*

• OKAY - Overlord meeting... ehhhhhh

• i still want to cut Alastor's screentime! whats the point of the meeting? screentime for the overlords, the dead angel (which we know, but main cast won't until episode 7) Carmila being responsible is important, we need to know who to ask for help, but ugh. I get its also, prelude that you need love to fight and win against angels, but its never stablished in canon, Carmila says it to Maggie to use as internal compass to keep her fighting beyond pain and fear; bloodlust is distracting, love is focused;

• my delight with Zestial being all dark and yummy need to take a hike for the sake of - what am i even doing any more?

• I can't help but think how much of these decision are also based on Voice Actor salaries; because Keith David (Husk) gotta be expensive and for a character that is literaly always presented he almost never talks; and just, ALL of them being expensive and ~ahahah better make fewer episodes if you want big names in your projects~

• ughhhh that's when you know a series has issues, when trying to fix you run into a thousand more problems;

• i would respect how much they put into 8 episodes, ONLY IF it's true they didn't know they would get season 2. Because in that case a bunch of these plot lines needed to be dropped, I don't care how fanfavorite the character is;

• the Vs serve no purpose what so ever, you can easily have Valentino as a lone villain (also less confusion about hells social rules about SA and abuse);

• Lucifer should've been the last big name to enter screen; work up to the trial with Heaven for S2E01 (why even a trial)

• just how PLOT heavy is this series that Viv needed Lilith's bomb to drop in season 1? which is a major inconsistancy for a series based on the theme of redemption, a CHARACTER heavy theme;

• as it is, i don't see how Sir Pentious being redeemed is a good thing, because he died before entering Heaven, so other souls need to die too and hope it's not forever? wouldn't that fuel Exterminators cause to kill in name of 'clensing'? (holy shit, the more I write the worse it gets)

• IS there an primordial EVIL to scare the angels so badly?

• omg I hope they won't try to bring actual GOD into the series; I know there is concept art floating around, but please, do not;

• Supernatural barely got away with it in Season 5 because it was a funny 'what if' and made it got bad in Season 10 (?) (no series should ever emulate Supernatural, its a warning I mean it, don't, not worth it, you don't have 10+ years of dead horse to beat)(the fans, me, stayed out of, idk, regretfull loyalty)

• my english is not good enough for this... KAY IM DONE NOW! BYEEEE

[yanderelovlies]

Here comes goobye

Fandom(s): DMC SWWSDJ

Character(s): V, Sunny Day Jack

Tw: Yandere thoughts on Jack's part

Sunny Day Jack

Jack watched as you sat on the other end on the couch, your fist supporting your head as you watched TV. He couldn't put his finger on it, but you seemed....distant recently. Not enough for him to fade, but enough for him to feel the effect your distance has caused. Honestly, it made him anxious, but he was also afraid to bring it up and be right. What was he going to do if he was? He didn't want to force you or cause you harm. but if you didn't want him-

"Hey Jack....?" You turned down the volume of the tv the turning to him turmoil clear on your face.

"Y-Yes, sunshine?" He cleared his throat. He didn't like where this was going.

You turned to fully facing him. Your eyes dart from his to the floor. "I... don't think this is gonna work"

"....what?"

You began to fiddle with your fingers, and your eyes now focused on the motion. "I just don't think I'm ready....I feel like we moved too fast."

The more you talked, the more anxious Jack became. "No... no, no! It was because Ian wasn't it?! all his voice mails its making you second guess! I can take care of him Sun-"

"No! it's this sort of behavior making me think we moved too fast.....I-I couldn't even let Shaun stay when I promised him months before....please....dont make this hard... we can still be friends "

No....no that won't work for Jack. You may not see it now, but you love him just as much as he loves you. Maybe sometime in that hell hole will help you see it.

V

Being a devil hunter has taught you many things. Even when to call it quits when it became too much, and the realization of what V had done had become too much. Learning he was part of the reason why the city was in ruin with trillions of unmarked graves weighed heavy on you the more you thought about it. You loved him, but it became harder and harder to look at him, let alone touch him. So you spent most of your time away, hoping to quickly resolve this mess.

"y/n"

You jumped at the sound of his voice. your head snapping in his direction. "V!"

He sighed, walking closer to you only to stop at arms length from you. "You haven't been to the van in a bit, and...Nico was worried."

"Sorry I've been... distracted."

"You've been distant from me...and the others by extent."

You looked down, knowing you couldn't deny it. "I-"

"You have been since I told you... It bothers you."

You looked down as you ran a hand through your hair "yeah...it does. I mean, it's a reason like this that I became a hunter in the first place. Reasons you caused... I can't V. This....Thing between us is nothing now. I just want to get this mission over with."

You said nothing after that. Turning your back to him and leaving him behind. V knew it was coming, but he would be lying if he said a foolish part of him wished you would have stayed. With nothing left to do, he turned around and made his way back to the van.

He knew these next couple of hours were going to be he'll, but maybe....when he is whole again, he won't feel the pain as much.

[2x4plank]

Episode Three is dreadful...in a positive way.

The meat of the chapter is the Duck situation. It was incredibly depressing to watch the happy, talkative kid decline despite attempts to restore him. And then Katjaa... I don't know where the idea that she "betrayed" Kenny by ending things came from (outside of what Kenny says in episode four or five). She was back there in the train, holding onto her dying son while he was up there trying not to have to come to terms with it. She was practically battling that ALONE and being tough about it. And I honestly didn't feel completely mad at Kenny for that either. He knew what he would have to do from the beginning and was wracked with guilt (partially selfish) and fear--that combined with his general hot-headed attitude caused him to be idle. But it wasn't for lack of care. So I was mostly mad about it, but not completely. He also is still out of pocket; I began to believe that Kenny was never in pocket. Why do I like this dude! No parent should have to shoot their own child, so of course I was letting Lee step up to the plate--but of course it wasn't easy for him either! Just a short while ago, he was playing detective with that kid, and though Duck was an "annoyance", he was a very lovable one who should've been able to grow up safely.

Now, the Lily situation. For me, it was Lily v. Carley and when I saw it coming, it was already in motion. The timing during this episode was just stellar. When everyone is distracted by the walker, you see what Lily is about to do, but there's nothing you can do about it. It's not like you shouldn't be able to predict what's coming. Lily has been sitting in that motel room stewing with rage at her situation while still being tasked with managing things for the most part. She is never given proper time to grieve an extremely traumatic murder and her slumped down position is not a sign of good things to come. Carley pressed her buttons after Lily pressed hers. Lily was hellbent on figuring out who betrayed them. A particular quote that comes to mind is when you tell her to let it go and she's like, "YOU KNOW I CAN'T DO THAT!"

Now does that mean what she did was right? Oh, absolutely not. It was a senseless murder of an innocent person. Even Lily knows that--you can see it in her expression after the deed is done. Of course I'm going to leave her behind, because despite the comparison Lily tries to draw between Larry and Carley's murder, I firmly believe that Larry's murder was...the best choice. And on the brightside, when I restrained her, blood didn't get on her face! Lily should keep that in mind after we tag-teamed crushing her dad's head: her face was clean!

On a more positive note, I love how Lee teaches Clemenetine how to shoot and cuts her hair. I think that's another thing kind of missing from TLOU--the active practice with Ellie. However, it's not like Ellie doesn't participate in gameplay which is a bonus. And ideally, neither a fourteen-year-old nor eight-year-old would have to use a gun at all. The apocalypse is a bit different though!

And then there's Ben. I won't say he gave it away by how stressed he was when Lily accused him--it's easy to get anxious even when you're not guilty. I was just kind of hoping to forget the whole bandit situation. So that really good moment where you're walking back through the train and all of a sudden he's like, "I did it." And I was first and foremost concerned with him shutting up. At what point, what else is there to do? Just be quiet and live with it so you don't make anything any worse. Write some poetry or something--I don't know! I think it's okay for him to tell Lee because Lee is very rational and patient. But later on, ugh...

Chuck kinda weird. That's all I gotta say about him, but he's not bad.

[onyxclub5]

mood tips (productivity) + updates!!!

okay, so i struggle greatly with productivity and staying focused in general (unheard of, i know).

i practically never do homework, frequently miss deadlines and rarely concentrate during lessons. this is my senior/exam year and i'm starting to get quite anxious what will happen if i stay in this loop of sleep, school and haziness.

so these are some little things i can do to convince myself to work and help me stay focused.

of course i don't have everything perfected, but this is just the starting point.

i hope having it posted here will stop me from losing motivation to keep up.

ANYWAYS, so here are some things that help:

clean workspace

personally, i absolutely despise cleaning and can never get myself to do it, but when i finally get to it, it feels so good???? usually i have plates and cups and papers clogging up my desk so if that's all out of the way it DEFINITELY makes a difference (future me, i am NOT LYING, it is satisfactory!!!!!).

food + fav tea

i lose focus quite easily so for me it's best to have something to eat or drink so that i don't fall out of that working headspace (also i'm kind of hungry all the time anyway lmao)

study music

for now i only have one album that for YEARS has helped me stay focused while being able to vibe without distracting me from my work and it's "thank u, next". first of all, LOVE THAT ALBUM OH MY GOD and it's literally p e r f e c t for studying. not even studying,

G I R L S T U D Y I N G.

but i digress. for now i only have this one album that i loop incessantly and mercilessly, but i hope one day i'll have more than just one.

other music:

-- soft r&b (chole x halle, victoria monet)

-- layover - v

-- illmatic - nas

do things one at a time

i've noticed that if i focus on one task that i have to do, instead of the five that are looming over me, they stop feeling so daunting and it becomes easier to focus what i have to do, right now.

planner/list/anything that serves as a reminder

because i am a forgetful girl™, i need planners like a lifeline. unfortunately, i also tend to forget about that too lmaooo....

but yeah, knowing what events, test and assignments are waiting for me further in the week helps greatly with structuring days and breaking out of haziness.

even just having my planner next to my bed helps when i get up in the morning and check my schedule for the day + upcoming days so i don't feel like a total loser when i miss something.

planning before bed and in the morning is best for me.

so, i think that's all for now!!

honestly i am still learning what works for me so i think this may be updated as time goes on, but i hope this helps future me (and anyone else who sees this maybe??)

[vbee-miya]

helloo!!! could i get a matchup for bnha?? :0 (this is the first time im requesting something sorry if i say anything wrong msfnsnnd) im 18 (i turned 18 only some days ago lol), i use he/they pronouns (im a trans boy:]) and im gay mdmfms im an isfp and a hufflepuff if that matters!!! im v introverted and shy at first and im not someone who likes to go out because i have trouble with loud noises n too much people, but whenever i go out im the kind of person who talks too much (when im w friends) and is a literal clown, although i still cant talk with people outside my circle so other people have to often speak up for me (esp when i want to buy stuff mssmfmsmdlmao), as for my traits, ig im kind of pessimist when it comes to myself? but super optimistic when it comes to others, im also v anxious, protective towards ppl i like and very, very blunt, because i speak without thinking,,, i also daydream a lot and get distracted even more, i have a lot of energy too but i just dont show it so thats that!! as for hobbies im a writer and an artist! (daydreaming helps a lot for some reason), i like playing videogames and that stuff, and i also love researching things such as bugs (i love them but if you put a bug Infront of me i'd cry) and human behavior:], ii also have a lisp so how i speak in every single Language sounds funny,, im basically what would happen if you combined a nerd, anxiety, a clown and too much coffee (i cant even drink coffee bc of my adhd tho since it makes me very sleepy) hehebw i hope that information is good!! sorry for rambling too much again aa

༺❀༻ matchup ༺❀༻

i don't see why not, here ya go.

hop in on the adventures of tintin. 

he doesn’t mind going out to places that are quiet, or places that have little to no interaction with people. so probably like hanging around his dormitory or if given the chance when the school is on break he’d invite you to his place or if you ever offer, then you guys could hang around at your place. 

mirio to me is the type of guy who can easily warm up to people and usually knows what to say and do. i mean after all, what do you expect from someone in the big three? so even hanging out that random silence of awkwardness would cease to exist. the more you both start getting to know each other and start creating that good rapport he’d be able to talk about anything and everything. and let's say there’s a topic you love talking about that isn’t within his knowledge, then no worries he’d be more than willing to learn and listen about it. 

when you guys are outside, potentially to go out eating and or to buy things, mirio is your man, your buddy. you bet he’d be the one doing all the talking. i mean you can’t really shut him up. anyways when you guys go out to buy stuff he’d actually buy anything you’d want and that’s a fact. he’s generous. 

pessimism is natural, anyone can feel those doubts and it’s so easy seeing things negatively. especially about oneself. but as optimistic as mirio can be he’d understand where you’re coming from and rather than saying haphazardly things like “don’t think like that” “don’t say that'' he'd be more than willing to hear you out and encourage the hell out of you. because no one deserves to be thought about like that especially from us. 

your bluntness in my headcanon is something that catches him off guard sometimes, though he’d appreciate the bluntness. he’s most definitely the type to accept critical criticism or just anything about him. in terms of self-improvement. 

every time you have that burst of energy mirio would think that it’s cute. and sometimes if not most times would be highly fascinated with your daydreams and would actually give great writing ideas to write about as they’re not too complex and can be worked around rather quickly. 

there’s a funny little headcanon i have where he doesn’t mean to put a bug at your face, he just thought the stick bug was really cool and knew to some degree you’d research about them potentially. 

he’d wouldn’t even notice your lisp and would actually say that he doesn’t hear it. but till one day he really notices it and his world opened anew.

[fizhingtrawl]

This is just making me thinking of werewolf John now... hope you don't mind if I just ramble about the lil fic idea I've had rattling around in my brain, hah (also hope you don't mind the length)

So the interesting thing about John getting bit is that it wasn't during a full moon -- the dude was still in human form, he just decided he didn't want to go to jail so he snuck up on the cops while they were distracted, bit John in the shoulder, kicked Jack, and then ran out of the station (I actually made an OC out of this guy lol-)

John then spends the next week angry and working despite the injury, and Jack being v concerned bc John is far more antsy and on edge than normal

So comes the night of the full moon, John stays late at the station and firmly tells Jack to go home when he tries to talk him into leaving - John needs to pick up his kid so he's leaving soon anyway, he just needs to finish this paper work

So cut to Jack's house, where he is infinitely more concerned when someone drops off John's kid bc he didn't come to pick her up

Jack goes back to the station with Judy in tow (John would give him an earful if he just left her unattended) and is unnerved by how it's exactly as he left it, but there's no sounds, nothing. So he looks for John, his concern only rising when he walks into his office and finds it a complete WRECK

It's at this point he hears Judy somewhere else in the station and dammit he let her out of his sight! So now he's running to find her and he finds her and oh, boy-

In front of her is this fuzzy looking thing-- it's not a dog, it's too big for that, but she's petting it like one and it seems docile? Jack quietly calls Judy's name to get her away from it and the thing stands up and makes its way towards him

Jack is reaching for his gun when he realizes how familiar it feels. The tattered blue clothes, the poofy hair, and then Jack sees bandages wrapped around and hanging off the shoulder.

"John?"

This is amazing.

I love how the guy just— really really didn’t wanna go to jail, and bit the fuck outta him. It’s so funny but something probably not too out of the ordinary.

And then John is.. off. More then usual, Jack is used to his grumpy nature- he battles with it on a daily. But this is different. This is new. So he’s more worried, he’s not sure if it’s because of the cult hunts or just.. maybe he’s sick. Jack doesn’t know, but he wants to. He wants to so badly, so that he can help.

When Judy is dropped off, jacks worry probably was doubled and he was immediately into “oh shit, something bad happened” mindset. He doesn’t want to bring Judy because what if it was a criminal situation? But he couldn’t leave her either, so along she came.

But it’s so quiet. So so quiet, it’s wrong. The station is never quiet especially not with the two of them in the building, and so he searches.

His stomach drops when he comes across the wrecked office. It reminds him of when John and him returned to johns home only to find ash. Jack is getting anxious.

Where did Judy go.

He rushes after he hears her voice and just- stops in the doorway, completely stunned. Is that a dog, a bear? Neither. Too canine-like to be a bear, too big for a dog. But it seems friendly towards Judy.. which he is still nervous about this, because he’s not going to let her get hurt.

When it approaches him, however- he’s at a lose of what to do besides get ready to shoot. Until he makes the connections.

Jack takes him back to his house, despite johns protests in the forms of snarling and soft, sore whines.

Judy spends the night petting him and brushing his matted fur, and ultimately ends up falling asleep beside him. John picks her up by the neck of her sweater and Carry’s her to bed like a mother cat to her kitten. John stays in the room to guard her as well.

Jack checks on him…a lot. Is he okay? What happened? He’s trying to understand. John seems cautious of him.

Jack sits a good distance away and lets John come to him. Jack adorns him in gentle rubs in places that seem sore until John is generally calmed down, the next morning, Jack probably asks him too many questions.

But tonight, he just wanted to make sure he was alright. And so he did.

[dotster001]

Aaaa I love matchups, so I hope this is alright! Uh, if it isn't taken then maybe 🖍️ anon? I haven't seen anyone else use it (yet) oh yeah, Obey me is the fandom I'm currently in, so the matcbup would be for that! Thank you!

I guess I identify as non-binary? I don't care much for my own gender, so I mostly go by any and all pronouns (My friends call me gender evil as a joke. I'm not that short , roughly 5"2 (160 cm) I present mostly androgynous, but I have moments where I dress very feminine, as a treat. O don't know much about the personality stuff, other than I am a INTP, also a Capricorn - if that means anything ; v ; I have social anxiety, so I stay away from social events, but I usually manage fine in other situations or if I'm with someone I trust. Also I have piercings and dyed hair, I don't know, if that's needed but it's here!

I draw a lot (hence the 🖍️) and spend most of my time doodling and drawing for my own entertainment and for my friends. I also like to watch funky fact videos about random stuff, just for haha funny knowledge.

I see myself as funny, as I can laugh at my own jokes, and other people seem to like them too. Tho I consider myself a bit of a gremlin, with the whole being short , kinda rude and being a jester. I'm kinda absent minded, and mostly speak in memes since it's easy - as English is not my native language (this also makes me switch between languages a bit, the other language being Norwegian) my humor ranges from bad puns and dad jokes to dark humor. If it doesn't hurt anyone, I can laugh at it.

I guess that makes me kinda chaotic? But I do have moments of extreme calm, I study business - so im well versed with Excel and similar software, being serious is something I can easily switch to when needed, which can kinda put some people off.

I dont know the new ones yet so, I don't mind if matched but I wouldn't understand any of it. :v

Hopefully this is alright! Thank you again! ^^

(Kay so it's the perfect time for me to finish this, because we reached 666 followers. Anyway, I heard chaos gremlin and I knew exactly who you should be paired with 😂 Also, that's so badass that you know multiple languages, I'm so jealous of people who are bilingual 😭. Anyway ...)

I match you with Mammon.

Let's start with your serious side. It is canon that he is ridiculously good at math, and that he is also a chaos gremlin. I can totally see the two of you opening a successful side business until one of the brothers (probably Levi) find out and demand Mammon pay them back. But it will be fun while it lasts.

Draw him something sometime. He'll die. Especially if it's like a fan art of the two of you. It doesn't even have to be good, literally draw him two stick figures kissing with your names above them, it'll distract him for hours. He'll bury his face in his hands, leave the room to go squeal and roll around his bed.

He may not seem to be someone who would understand social anxiety, but he is really quite close to Levi. So he understands when it becomes too much for you. He'll literally wrap you up, arms tight around you, his head on top of yours, looking like a puppy, and steer you away from anxious situations. But he really hopes he can be your person, so that you guys can steal food from parties together.

He doesn't really care what you watch as long as you let him cuddle with you while you do it. That said....fun fact videos give him some delightful scheme ideas, and funny videos make him laugh, so I think you'll never have to fight about what to watch.

Mammon has been giving you the details of his latest scheme for the past two hours. He'd charged you with taking down notes as he spoke. Being the good secretary you were....you zoned out a half hour in and started sketching Mammon.

"Kay, watcha got so far?" He said abruptly. You looked down at your paper, then up again, and started subconsciously fiddling with an earring.

"Um," you started, looking at the half hour of notes you took at the beginning. "Basically, we are starting a human world pizza chain in the Devildom, that covers up an underground gambling ring."

"yeah!" He said grinning happily. "What else have I said so far?"

"Um...." You decided to just hand him the sketch you'd been working on. Rip the band aid off.

He immediately turned red, and covered his face with his hands.

"Mams?" You asked. No matter how many times he did this, it still concerned you.

"The Great Mammon will return presently, I just gotta go do somethin'," he left the room, and you heard a delighted giggle and squeal sound that you thought only Asmo was capable of.

Guess he liked it.

[melovesanneeeee]

GET DRUNK ON A GOOD LIFE, 2023 IS A PARADISE ♡

— The urge to be emotional when I think of the new year like I still feel lost and anxious most of the time, but also grateful that I am still surviving.

— I think 2022 for me was all about grieving. Grieving for so many loss of dearie loved ones. Grieving for my life that's still on pause, on pause para sa iba. Grieving for how stagnant and stuck I am. Grieving for my supressed, repressed, depressed and untold thoughts. Grieving for a life that I don't know if I can still live. And one thing I learned about grieving is it never stops. It may pause, but it never settles.

— We drown ourselves in distractions and play our music too loud so we can’t hear our thoughts but somehow we end up where we don’t want to be.

— Bakit headache lang ang dinudulot ng walang tigil na pag-iyak? Wala bang pa-level up dyan? Sa dami ng iniyak ko (compared last year I must dare say) I should get a v v nice reward from this. Pa-surprise eme ganorn. Yung paggising ko, nakahiwalay na kaluluwa ko sa katawan ko ganorn na surprise char not char.

— There are just times when you don't know what to do with yourself, together with all the emotions and anxiousness that are stirring inside of you. At one point, you are hoping to have all your friends and family around you, celebrating the warmth of youth, laughing and singing and dancing until midnight and up to the morning light again. At another point, you want to be alone inside the cold corners of your room, dead from the noise of the environment, finding your own solitude. There are some point that you want to cry yourself alone, in your darkest days, as you fall asleep. There are also some time when you want to cry your heart out with the people you love. As for my self, I'm confused on where to stand in between. I don't know what to do with my self anymore.

— Just because I don't show it, it does not mean I don't feel it. Here I go again, back to shitty feeling. I don't fucking know. I guess I just don't belong anywhere, anytime, any other shit. Do you know the feeling they call shitty? I can't actually describe it but it is like your whole system is slowing down, to the point it becomes dysfunctional, and you feel really cold, and alone, and silent, and heavy and you don't want to move anymore, and you become so sad that you just want to perish from people's lives because you are really sure that you are good for nothing. I have been a true shitty thing, yeah, and I hate this shitty feeling. All the unintentional paranoia, and worriedness, and anxiousness and all. Feeling of regrets, and other shits all stirred up into one. I know, you can't understand what I am trying to say because I just really can't describe it. You feel like the whole world betrayed and abandoned you, leaving you into pieces and you feel more like worthless. And I am worried about everything. About everything about me. About everything.

— Some things aren’t better left unsaid but you have no other option than to shove it deep down and pretend that nothing’s wrong cause no one would understand anyway.

— Do you ever wonder what the other person sees in you when you know for a fact that you're full of flaws and imperfections?

— In this crappy life I'm in, now, I fear having a family of my own. I don't want my kid/s to be like me. I don't want them hating me and go crying all night on their room. That's just cruel. I'm not and I'm still so far from raising a toxic free family.

— One thing that keeps me going is believing that the best years of my life are still ahead of me. I hope I continue to feel that way no matter how old I am.

— I guess self-love is a full-time job. No days off.

— How to dissociate your self-worth from productivity???

— Saddest part of adulthood is despite all the movitational quotes and signs, there are some dreams we can't fulfill in this lifetime.

— Habang tumatanda ay nasasanay na tayong isantabi yung mga nararamdaman natin dahil may ibang kailangang asikasuhin, dahil alam nating hindi tumitigil ang mundo kahit may pinagdadaanan tayo. Sana may ligtas na espasyo at sapat na oras para sa lahat ng ating mga isinasantabi.

I know for a fact I'll keep on struggling and bruising myself up a lot during my twenty-nine or else things will not be normal. But atleast I'm aware dealing with things that I already faced earlier in my life. 2023 will be one of those books I'm excited to read and write and it will be messy and will have so many random chapters. And I'm a sucker hoping real bad that a loaded, fun, and a deep chapter belongs to me there.

[harryscherrypie]

Masterlist

series

I've loved you through the centuries - (Ongoing)

summary - On a free day, Harry and (Y/N) visit the New York Museum of reincarnation. They learn about the story of an artist and his muse throughout the centuries. Prince, fashion designer, painter, and many more, this story spans through many lifetimes and when Harry and (Y/N) look at the information, they might come to some interesting revelations.

A fashion Fairytale- (ongoing)

Adventures of Harry and his fashion-talented best friend? lover?. Nobody really knows what they are, not even themselves.

CEO!Harry

Harry is rich and older. That's all

One-shots - from newest to oldest

Tinder men can't do it like you do - 8.Jan.2023

summary - Your friends' constant nagging gets to you, and you and Harry cross the friends and lovers line when you drunkenly confess your thoughts to him. This leads to the loss of your virginity.

You pop, when we get intimate - 25.Sep.2022

summary - how your moans made their way into the background of cinema

Scared? Of Him? - 20.Sep.2022

Summary: People on TikTok seem to be slightly scared of long-haired Harry, thankfully for them, you have some very incriminating proof that he wasn't scary at all.

Only Love Can Hurt Like This - 8.May.2022

Summary: For the last few weeks, Harry was like a ticking bomb, unfortunately, you were the one who ticked him off. Words really do hurt more than anything else in this world. Especially when they come from the person you love. 

Not Just A Drunken Mistake - 4.May.2022 (Request)

Summary: You and Harry met on the tour, you grew closer while his relationship with Olivia grew colder 

I find comfort in you - 27.Apr.2022 (Request)

Summary:  You had a bad day, good thing Harry knows how to take care of you

Morning activities - 18.Apr.2022

Summary: You and Harry go on a vacation, the number of rooms gets mixed up and you end up in a honeymoon suite, even if you are not a couple, you will certainly use the bathtub in the middle of the bedroom.

Books Are The Universal Language - 4.Apr.2022

Summary: Missing someone even though they are right there is one of the most miserable feelings you've ever felt. Good thing Harry knows how to ease the uncomfortable feeling in your chest, and read some poetry with you. Even if you don't understand it. Books are the universal language, after all, you just need to decipher them.

You Feel Like Home - 3.Apr.2022

Summary: Harry wakes up with a sore back, and an anxious feeling in his chest, as he remembers what he told you the previous night. You have to talk, and also make sure he won't get stuck with a sore back and neck. Good thing you bought him a fancy massage oil a while back. Continuation of 'My Home'

My Home - 31.Mar.2022

Summary: Harry celebrates the finishing of his new album by going out with his friends. You, as the designated driver ended up with an important task to get him home. Too bad drunk Harry's mouth won't stop talking, even about the stuff he would never tell sober.

Duvet music video - 20.Feb.2022

Summary - you are Harry’s ex-girlfriend, and he persuaded you to film the new music video with him. Both of you find out that you could’ve still been dating if you communicated better all those years ago.

Scary feelings - 6.Feb.2022

Summary - Harry falls in love with your sister, or he thinks he does.

The proposal - 2.Feb.2022

Summary - For the last few months, Harry has been acting unusually, when you think of the worst, he comes up with an explanation.

Days in Italy - 31.Jan.2022

Summary - request, When your vacation starts to become a bit monotone, you and Harry decide to go on a little trip and watch the sunset at the end of the day.

Workout distraction - 29.Jan.2022

Summary - request, Harry likes to work out in the morning and you don’t like waking up alone

An Argument - 28.Jan.2022

Summary - request,

Everything must end - 3.Jan.2022

Summary - The American leg of love on tour is ending and Harry comforts you on stage.

Camping trips and fear of bugs don't go together very well - 11.Nov.2021

Summary - You go on a camping trip, but you have to share a tent with Harry due to some ‘unfortunate’ circumstances. Sleeping in a tent when you have a fear of bugs wasn’t your brightest idea.

My sweet Dorothy - 1.Nov.2021

Summary - You loved Harry’s Harryween costume so much.

Marry me, please? - 27.Oct.2021

Summary -one, where Harry isn’t the one proposing, it’s the other way around.

One bed? - 21.Oct.2021

Summary - You were fairly new to the LOT tour crew. But what happens when you have to share a room with the rock star?

Birthday surprise - 15.Oct. 2021

Summary -This happens in 2014, when boys are on tour and he is going to spend his birthday on tour. You were supposed to come and visit him but because of a storm in LA, you are not able to come and Harry is super sad. But, maybe your luck will turn and Harry’s birthday wish will come true.

[lxvebun]

hi!! if you have time and want to, I’d love some hcs of Dabi and Hawks as boyfriends (separately)!! like, their favorite things to do with reader, domestic activities they like, pet names they use, etc.🥺🥺 thank you so much!! I hope you’re having a lovely day!!💜💜💜

Boyfriend Dabi & Hawks

A/n hi angel thank you for requesting its so cute<3 im not very proud of this one and its a little short but I hope you like it<3

English is not my first language so im sorry for any mistakes

Cw GN!reader, dabi calls you doll,babydoll,bunny. Hawks calls you angel, dove, babybird. Cursing, fluff, Not proofread.

Dabi

-♡ To many people's suprise, Dabi is honestly such a good boyfriend. He's fully committed to you and your relationship.

-♡ Dabi's favorite nicknames for you are babydoll,doll and bunny. He uses these because he thinks they are cute, just like you

-♡ Dabi is happy with any nickname you give him Cause it came from you. You could call him crispy bacon and he would be like💞💕💓💘

-♡ He adores it whenever you wear his clothes. He doesn't understand why it gets him so much, but everytime you walk around in one of his hoodies he gets so warm and fuzzy all over. Expect lots of Dabi cuddles when you wear his clothes.

-♡ dabi really likes cooking with you...well more so watching you cook. He mostly just sits on the counter and hands you things, but he's helping okay! May or may not try to cook stuff with his quirk. Please have a fire extinguisher

-♡Dabi L O V E S slow dancing, and he's really good at it. He also wants to slow dance with you at the most random times. You're busy doing some work or chores and he would be like:" Ah,yes, this is the perfect moment" and then he sweeps you off your feet. Smooth mf that he is, expect to be dipped down and kisses a lot<3

-♡your boyfriend Dabi? You mean your personal heated blanket? He is perfect for cold winter nights. With Dabi you're never cold anymore.

-♡Dabi goes completely soft at the way you're so gentle with him. He turns into a puddle everytime you kiss his scars

-♡Dabi has a few golden staples that he rarely wears, but the one time he did you loved it! So even when he's wearing his normal ones, he keeps a golden one just for you<3

-♡ dabi always carries around a little polaroid picture of the two of you in his pockets. It's his good luck charm!

-♡whenever you're a little upset, Dabi likes to distract you by doing little tricks with his quirk. Your favorite trick is when he holds your hand and makes his fire dance around it (without burning you ofc)

-♡Dabi never believed in soulmates until you came along. He loves you so much and you make him super happy<3

hawks

-♡ keigo, sweet boy, he's so in love with you,it's adorable!

-♡ hawks favorite petnames for you are angel, dove and babybird

-♡ hawks gets so flusterd when you call him babybird back😭 please keep going

-♡Hawk's is very protective of you. he gets incredibly anxious if he doesn't know you're okay, So he always leaves a ton of feathers around your house in case you need him. You find his feathers EVERYWHERE! In your pillow, your closet, kitchen cupboards and drawers. How he still has feathers left, you don't know

-♡please also have one of his feathers on you when you go outside. If he finds out you went outside without one, he might pass out.

-♡cuddles so many cuddles. He gets a little grumpy when you're too busy for cuddles, and you can tell that he's grumpy by the annoyed flaps his wings give

-♡when you finally crawl into his arms to cuddle, he's not letting you go for hours. He needs to make up for the lost time of course. He even wraps his wings around you to make sure you stay. It feels very warm and safe<3

-♡Keigo loves to sing, and if he is not singing, he's either whistling or humming a little tune. Please sing with him. It does not at all matter if you're good or not, he will still get extremely happy when you join him

-♡if you happen to be walking around the areas he is patrolling, he will not leave you alone. Whenever you tell him to go back to work he comes up with different excuses everytime.

"Just making sure you as a civilian are alright!"

"You look like trouble, im just keeping an eye on you;)"

-♡if there is an actual emergency he will leave you alone to deal with it, but don't think you got rid of him lol you just act as motivation to finish quickly so he can fuck off back to you

-♡Keigo has never felt so loved before. you make him very happy, and he is ready to spend the rest of his life with you<3

Thank you for reading bunnies<3

♡navigation♡ ♡requesting info♡ ♡blogrules (byf/dni)♡ ♡Hawks masterlist♡ ♡Dabi masterlist♡

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

My Captain (Pirate! Park Seonghwa)

Pairing: Pirate! Seonghwa (Ateez)× Pirate! Reader (Female)

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Pirate AU.

Summary: After taking victory over the most notorious beast to plague the seas, the ship's quartermaster wants to relish in the pleasure of claiming one of his crew members.

Word Count: 3.5K

Warnings: Soft to Hard Dom! Seonghwa, Sub! Reader, body worship, oral (female and male receiving), spanking, face fucking, multiple orgasms, Captain/power kink, unprotected sex (always use protection), breeding kink, degradation.

Taglist: @little-precious-baby @multidreams-and-desires @galaxteez @yunhofingers @yunhoiseyecandy @deja-vux @brie02 @couchpotatoaniki @daniblogs164 @a-soft-hornytiny

⊱⋅ ──────────── ⋅⊰

The young woman exhaled deeply, her eyes trained on the hands which were currently unfastening the front lacings of her brown leather corset in a rather desperate and anxious manner.

"Before we get any further, I want your full and complete consent to what is about to happen."

Letting the article of clothing drop to the floor, the sailor in front of her took a step closer to her, his thumb pressing down across her bottom lip. His eyes became even more narrow as they looked at her mouth with hunger, wanting nothing more than to close the distance between them and press them against his own.

"Say no right now and I won't push the matter any further." He repeated himself, his Adam's apple moving abruptly from how hard he swallowed back a nervous lump of anxiousness and self restraint.

The young maiden took a deep breath and brushed her fingers across the white silk shirt the boat's quartermaster was wearing, the deep V neck allowing her a glimpse of his bare, tanned upper chest, the outline of his pectoral muscles peeking out. She hummed out an incomprehensible tune as she looked up at her superior.

"Does the Master Seonghwa need to make use of my body? Would he like to release his deepest passions on me?" She reached a hand up and caressed his cheek, half expecting him to swat her hand away since he was not known to be a gentle or affectionate lover, given the long list of women that have had the pleasure of being taken to bed by him. But unlike her expectation, the male actually let out a small and contents sigh, his face falling deeper into her touch, his hand reaching up to clasp it in his own before bringing it over to his lips where he placed a tender kiss on each of her fingertips. It confused the woman utterly to see the usually strict, ruthless and unmerciful pirate act so mellow, meek and warm, yet it also sent a flutter into her chest.

"What I want hardly matters right now, I can manage either way. But I need ... I must know if you're ok with this Y/N."

She widened her eyes when he called her by her name. On a daily basis, ever since she had been forced onto the life of piracy after they raided her village, he'd never addressed her with anything other than mean spirited and sometimes even cruel insults, as he did with those he deemed inferior to him. It shocked her greatly to think he even knew her name in the first place.

Taking a step away from him, Seonghwa's mouth parted in amazement when the crew member in front of him began to slide the sleeves of her dress off her shoulders, the fabric slowly sliding off her body until it pooled by her ankles, which she then swiftly kicked out of the way. His eyes beheld her nude figure, admiring from the top of her head all the way to her toes. She was simply mesmerizing, stunning, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in all his years of sailing across different continents.

"I'm perfectly content with anything my lord wishes to do. He may do with me as he pleases. Tonight..... he is my Captain."

Seonghwa's black trousers suddenly felt too tight, the title Y/N bestowed on him affecting him greatly. She gasped softly when one of his arms held her by her waist and pulled her against him.

"Your captain..." He muttered softly, his lips ghosting across her cheek until they came up to the corners of her lip where he then pressed them down harder onto her face.

"Yes- my captain-"

The rest of her words were muffled when Seonghwa's mouth enclosed over hers, his luscious lips parting and then closing over and over against her own. His hand cupped at her chin, keeping her head tilted up as he practically devoured her mouth. His tongue never poked out to intrude into her wet cavern, his teeth however had an utter fascination with nibbling onto her bottom lip, tugging and pulling at them. Y/N groaned in surprise when she lost her footing as Seonghwa backed her up into the bed, his arm clutching her tighter against his body to keep her from falling. Inhaling softly, she inclined her neck back to allow Seonghwa to plaster nibbling pecks along her skin, subtle red patches spreading around it.

His hands moved from her waist to caress her further down, his thumbs pressing down against her hip bones. Her satin like skin was practically inviting him to caress and admire every inch of her, and that was exactly what he planned to do. Starting in between her supple breasts, he slowly placed heartfelt and tender kisses that traveled from her sternum all the way to her abdomen, his knees slowly dropping so it would be easier for him. When he felt her pull slightly away, his hands pressed her further into his face, fingers digging into her thighs.

"Stay there." He told her as he dragged his tongue along one of her inner thighs, so near her core that Y/N held her breath when his nose neared her pubic bone.

"So pretty, and you smell so delicious." He mused out loud as his nose inhaled her arousal, tongue swiping across his lips.

Before he could even get to sample a bit of her juices, he was lifted off the ground by none other than the woman he was admiring, switching positions so now she was kneeling in front of him while he was standing.

"Y/N- what are you....?" He stood absolutely still, watching as she pulled his trousers down, freeing his painfully erect member that greeted her sight with tiny bursts of precum splashing onto the wooden floor underneath them.

"Tonight it's all about you, after all, you were brave today in taking down that vicious monster all by yourself. If it weren't for you, we'd all still be living in fear for the rest of our lives."

Gripping him at the base, she collected up some saliva in her mouth before spitting it around his length, wanting him to be properly lubricated before she started stroking him. His trembling hisses were music to her ears as she slowly pumped him, coating him even further, her eyes never looking away from his dazed look.

"It's only right you be rewarded as a captain deserves to be rewarded."

Seonghwa's mouth went agape, shuddered breaths coming out as he watched his cock disappear into Y/N's warm mouth. She didn't stop until she fit all of him inside, an impressive image to behold. She stilled for a few seconds before pulling him out, stopping when it was just his tip resting on her tongue and then proceeding to slide him right back in.

"Fuck- you're killing me beautiful." Seonghwa reached a hand up so his thumb could stroke one of her hollowed cheeks, full of his cock that she slurped on without hesitation. Y/N closed her eyes as she continued to savor Seonghwa's taste, long and slow strokes of her tongue making sure not one inch of him was left untouched or neglected. It swirled around the shaft before sucking onto him. Her hands came up to cup his balls, softly fondling them so that he may experiment the most pleasure possible. Seeing her look so calm, her mouth practically worshiping his cock, Seonghwa held back his urge to hold her head and slam his hips into her face. Instead he settled for running his fingers through her hair, brushing them up into a makeshift ponytail so that he may peer down at her with no distractions or anything intervening with the visual. During a particularly harsh suck she gave him, his hips had a mind of their own and pressed him back into her mouth, his tip reaching so far back that a muffled choke had her drooling slightly at the corners of her mouth.

"I'm sorry." He apologized when he saw her eyes shot open and she pulled him out of her mouth.

"Don't apologize my lord. As I said, do with me as you please. If you wish to fuck my face, then by all means, please do." She encouraged him as she pressed sloppy kisses along his head, tongue darting out to place kitten licks on his slit.

Taking hold of her jaw, Seonghwa positioned his tip at the entrance of her mouth, his face looking concerned, silently wondering if she was really ok with what he wanted to do. Nodding up at him, she opened her mouth as wide as she could and hummed in approval when he slid himself back into her mouth. She took a deep breath, readying herself for the coming assault upon her maw which came just as intense and fervent as she expected from him. Seonghwa rutted his hips up into her, using her hole to release most of the adrenaline that had been brewing in him ever since he went out in battle just a few hours prior.

"God! You have no idea how hot you look right now, letting me use your mouth like this. You're too good to me."

Hearing him suddenly praise her, a stark contrast to the daily criticism she only heard from him, had her getting more wet in between her legs. She moaned as she continued to lap at Seonghwa each time his cock forced itself back into her throat. Saliva ran down her chin from the force his body used to buck up into her mouth, his previously mannered thrusts now becoming less calculated and more spontaneous as his high was nearing.

"Fuck! I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum all over your-" His hands clasped her head and held it still as he roughly pumped his cum down her throat, which Y/N promptly swallowed fully. She was gasping for air when he pulled himself out of her, panting hard as she caught her breath. She wiped the slick that was glistening on her lips and chin.

"No woman has ever managed to make me cum with their mouth."

Y/N's head whipped up at Seonghwa's revelation. He was peering down at her with a curious yet smug smile.

"You're the first to do so. You really are too good to me." His index finger wiped off some leftover slick from her cupid's bow.

Y/N was practically purring at his words, reveling in his praise.

"My sweet and good girl, I think it's only fair if I pay you back." He chuckled heartily.

Swiping her off the ground, Seonghwa pulled back the covers of his bed and then layed Y/N down on it, her head falling back against one of the soft pillows. She could not protest when Seonghwa spread her legs, eagerly placing his face right above her wet core.

"You smell and look so delectable. I wonder how long it'll take for you to lose control."

With one hand pressing her down to the mattress, Seonghwa latched his lips to her sensitive clit, producing a loud whine out of his crewmate above him. He was bewitched by how amazing she tasted, his tongue relishing in her flavor. He couldn't contain himself as he lost himself in consuming her heat. Dipping his tongue into her hole had her spilling out more slick which he lapped at with great intensity. His lips smirked against her folds when he felt her try to buck up into his face, her whining sounding so needy for him.

"I could stay here forever." He murmured.

The hand that was keeping her down dropped down to grip one of her thighs while the other did the same thing. Lifting her hips slightly off the bed, Seonghwa became like a beast as he devoured the entirety of her sex. Y/N writhed underneath him. Before she was antsy about pushing herself closer to his lips, now she was squirming to draw away from him. But of course Seonghwa wasn't having that. He simply relished in working her up until she reached her peak, which seemed to be coming up very soon, his skilled tongue making sure of it. Y/N tossed her body about as much as she could, which wasn't much considering Seonghwa was holding tightly to her. He slurped at her as if his life depended on it, even his nose would rub against her mound from how hard he was burying himself in her.

"Seonghwa-" Y/N cried out when a sharp smack landed on her thigh.

"It's captain to you. Now go on, say it or else I'll stop right now and tie you to the bed." He ordered her, slowing down his movements just slightly.

"Oh my- captain! Please-"

Hearing her beg for him just riled Seonghwa even further, his ego boosting more as she whimpered and squirmed frantically, her juices pouring out from inside and collected by his tongue. His chest practically puffed up with pride as she continued to shudder even when her climax had passed and he was merely cleaning around her folds, not letting anything drip off onto the sheets since he wanted it all for himself.

Pulling back with an audible pop, he sat up and nearly ripped his shirt off his body, discarding it somewhere on the floor. Y/N marveled at the sight of his godly body making an appearance, her instincts making her reach out to touch him.

"Turn around, ass up and on all fours." He instructed her as he worked to take off the remainder of his clothes.

Rolling over on the soft bed, Y/N did as she was ordered to, making sure to push her ass as far as she could just for Seonghwa. He seemed to appreciate the gesture given his hand was now caressing one of her cheeks, starting off gentle and loving before pinching her flesh, which made Y/N groan.

"You're really begging me to fuck you." Seonghwa grunted as he brought his hand down to strike her ass.

Y/N clenched around nothing, shuddering at Seonghwa's harsh treatment.

"Is that what you want? You want me to fuck you? Want my cock to tear that pussy of yours?" He mercilessly teased as he glided his tip along her slit, slapping it against her nub.

"Y-yes! I want my captain to fuck me like one of his whores." Y/N exclaimed, unable to bear the wait any longer.

Seonghwa raised an amused eyebrow at her pleading.

"Oh? So you've heard some of the other sluts talk about me haven't you?" He said with a slight dark laugh that sent shivers down Y/N's spine, heightened more when Seonghwa plunged his cock into her, stilling when he was fully stuffed in her.

"Want to experience it firsthand then? Want to feel how good my cock will fuck your brains out?"

Y/N nodded frantically, wanting to slam herself onto Seonghwa's cock but restraining from doing so less it should result in him denying her what she wanted.

"Don't say you didn't ask for it."

A sharp cry was forced out of her mouth when Seonghwa pulled out with no warning only to slam himself back inside her. He set a rough pace, each deep stroke against her velvety flesh pulling out cry after cry out of her lips. It was sheer and painful bliss to have the ship's quartermaster tearing her insides apart, her heat pulsating against his length as it constricted around him. Seonghwa's tip plunged into the deepest part of her, slamming against the entrance of her womb as her plump ass rippled against each slam of his hips against them. Y/N's deafening moans were so loud she was sure the party above them could hear what was going on below them. She buried her face on the pillow underneath her, only laying there for less than a minute before a pair of hands harshly pulled her back up, a strangled gasp emanating from her throat.

"Don't you dare. I want everyone on board to listen to me destroy this little cunt of yours, I want them to hear you scream my name." He growled in a low and deep tone that her folds further clenching around him.

Y/N's face started to contort in ecstasy from all the pleasure burning through her body, her whiny pants and sobs flowing out endlessly from her lips. Seonghwa's pounding became more violent and brutal, losing himself in the mutual lust that was taking over both of their bodies, the heat and warmth of Y/N's slick filled walls throbbing against his shaft.

"You're close aren't you my little whore? You're gripping my dick impossibly tight." He snickered behind her, his hips continuing to jolt harshly into her.

"Yes captain! I'm so c-close." She responded loudly, her panting becoming more exhausted as her skin started to glow from the sheen of sweat that was stemming from their passionate affair.

"So am I, my cock is twitching to fill you up with my seed."

Y/N nearly drooled at the thought of having Seonghwa cum inside her hole, filling her up until she couldn't contain his cum anymore. She was snapped out of her fantasy by Seonghwa's hand that struck her ass.

"Beg me for it you wench. Beg me to fill your cunt with my cum." He commanded her.

"Please my lord! Fill me up with your cum! Want my captain's cum inside of me!" She pleaded, hands nearly tearing the pillow she was clutching so tightly.

Seonghwa's eyes were like a raging sea, his thrusts becoming more sporadic as he worked to bring the both of them over the edge.

"Shit! I'll fill this hole of yours up, I'll fuck it full until it drains me of all my cum. Wanna see your pussy stuffed with my seed."

With walls fluttering around him, Y/N was a frantic and screaming mess as an agonizingly hard and euphoric chord snapped in her, prompting her body to burst open as her essence poured out all over Seonghwa's cock. Seonghwa himself was hissing and grunting fiercely as a wave overtook him, drowning him in an abyss of pleasure while his release flooded into Y/N's cavern, her walls hardly able to contain all that he pumped into her that some of it trickled down her thighs. With curses befitting his status as a sailor, Seonghwa pulled himself out of her warmth and collapsed next to her, eyes wide open as his chest heaved up and down with labored breathing. The girl beside him was in no greater state as she felt an intense ache and burn when he slipped out of her, her thighs and legs still trembling after having her superior conquer her body.

Through clenched teeth, Y/N moved one foot to rest on the hard floor so it could help stabilize her as she tried to get up. Remembering all the stories Seonghwa's previous affairs recounted about him not liking to have them around after messing around with them, Y/N slowly began to sit up and show herself out before the quartermaster himself ordered her out his chamber.

"Where are you running off to?" He questioned, hand reaching out to clasp her own before she slipped out of the bed.

"I was just going to collect my clothes and withdraw to my own room Sir. If you'd like, I'll even take your clothes with me and return them clean to you in the morning." She offered, knowing he was an avid clean freak that hated even the slightest bit of dirt or dust around his space.

"Don't worry about the mess Y/N, we can sort that out tomorrow. Stay for tonight, I insist. It looks like it'll be a cold and rainy night as well and I know your quarters tend to leak."

Without even waiting for her response, he tugged her back by his side, covering them both up with the blankets. Y/N stared off in confusion when Seonghwa pressed his chest to her back, an arm slung protectively around her. She began to question so many things surrounding her quartermaster. Didn't he dislike her? Why was he still keeping her around when he's notorious for not liking affection? He discarded all his previous lovers as if they were used rags, so why was he not doing the same to her?

"Don't think too much about it, just go to sleep and rest up." He seemed to be reading her thoughts, his nose nestling against the crook of her neck as he hugged her tighter to him.

"Yes....thank you my lord."

Seonghwa whined tiredly at her response.

"Seonghwa. Just call me Seonghwa..... my love."

He must have really been so tired and out of it for him to blurt out that endearment to her. Y/N blushed, unable to contain the shy smile on her face.

"Yes Seonghwa."

[erenisms]

Hi! Wanted to say that I love your work! Can I request a Levi x reader where the fem reader is a lil bit of a dom and (sfw). Like she would glare and tell off anybody who comments on Levi's height, hold him by the waist, pin HIM to the wall to makeout with him etc. Oh and she has veiny hands. If you dont want to do this, its fine too <3

levi ackerman with an assertive s/o (f!reader)

aaaaa thank you !♡ and useless info, i have veiny-ish hands (and forearms) but not like super bumpy(?) a few sticks out a little but it's just the blues and greens that are v prominent lol

levi ackerman thinks physical affection is unnecessary and distracting but his body betrays his (former) beliefs when he reciprocates your touches

he likes it when you initiate things first because that means he doesn't have to because he's conscious that you might reject him

in the beginning, levi reprimands you about these actions. then when you continue, he just sighs when you do something but doesn't say anything until he just becomes unbothered and super used to your boldness lol

he grows to like it, both the amusement and the challenge because someone, who's surprisingly a lady, can compete with his attitude

probably calls you trouble girl when referring to you and calls you a troublesome woman as an insult (affectionate)

you never fail to take him by surprise every time you randomly put an arm around his shoulders or nuzzle your forehead on his arm and press your chest on is elbow out of nowhere

or when you kiss his neck when you pass by, or push him into a wall and lock his hips with yours, or suddenly make out with him by the door before the two of you enter a meeting

he gets both annoyed and embarrased when you tap or slap his butt but all he can do is glare at you as you snicker with hange

likes to grab your hand to just play with it, sometimes he'll place it on his thigh as he taps the veins that ran along your skin and trace them with his fingers

he thinks it's sexy

it's also his way of soothing you, it never fails to relax or calm you down whenever you're feeling anxious

puts a hand on your shoulder every time you berate someone who's talking crap about him or the two of you in general

clicks his tongue and tells you to leave them be and then looks at you with a mixture of smugness and pride on his face as he squeezes your shoulder

he doesn't need anyone defending him but he thinks you're hot when you do it

you know it makes him smirk internally because you'll notice the corners of his lips twitch

and even if sometimes your attitude makes him go 'ugh' and roll his eyes, you both know he's just as insufferable at times so it's fair

he rarely calls you a brat and when he does, he literally means it as you're bratty, then again, so is he

you don't have arguments, you have debates that can be petty at times

back and forth sarcasm and sass but the two of you are aware when to draw the line and be mature

levi never finds you boring, he loves the thrill you bring and you love the fact that he only softens his facade to you

people wonder why someone like you is with someone so crude and uptight

they don't tell that to you though, they know better than that because they're not sure if they'd rather be cut by the blades on their gear or your words

however, what they don't know is that the part of levi ackerman they see is only the soldier

but to you, he's real and whole— he's levi ackerman

he knows that you see him as you would see any other person because you're aware of how he's just as humane as everybody else

you make him feel and you let him know that he deserves the simple things that make life exciting

you make him feel loved, and he'll be damn sure to love you back just as much and more

asks are open, feel free to send requests!

- love, zari

[atalho-s]

Light Up The Dark

Part 2 | We are accidents waiting to happen

pairing: bartender!tom x famous!reader

warnings: smut +18 miniors dni, swear words?, drinking, let me know if anything else!

words: 5.0 k

a/n: english it’s not my first language, so i’m sorry for any mistake! I don’t have a taglist yet, but if you want to be tagged in the next chapters let me know!! 

PART 2 if you want to read part 1 click here! 

It was already Saturday. The day Y/n took for herself. Writing was extraordinary, but she loved having a day off to take care of herself. She spent the day doing things she enjoyed, whether it was lying in bed watching a movie or trying to cook something.

After the fateful day of writer's block she started writing like crazy, so she didn't feel guilty about taking a day off without thinking about her characters and how they would get out of the challenges she had created for them.

The fateful day. For some reason she kept thinking about that damned Brit with that accent. For a moment she'd been scared that she'd been seen by paparazzi hanging out with the mysterious bartender, or even some picture of him leaving her apartment. But nothing came out in the news on the gossip sites, which made her relieved.

As much as she deserved to have fun once in a while and wasn't doing anything wrong, she still didn't want to bring attention to herself and even less to a guy who wasn't even famous. She was afraid to put anyone who wasn't famous in the media. Fear that one day suddenly, this person might be persecuted because of her.

Anyway, it had just been a crazy night. Nothing much. And she didn't intend to see him again. So she had nothing to worry about.

Sitting down in the kitchen counter with her familiar cup of coffee she got lost in some thoughts. Why hadn't she stopped thinking about him ever since? It had been a great night, but that was all. She didn't even know him well.

Maybe it was because her creative block had been broken after being with him. But obviously it was just a coincidence. She had just felt inspired after a distraction.

She shook his head away from the thoughts and placed the cup in the sink. She took a deep breath and thought about what to do next. But before she could think of anything else her cell phone started ringing on the counter. She was almost jump by the sudden sound, seeing the screen indicating that it was Milla, her agent, who had become one of her best friends.

- Hi Mil! - she said after sliding the screen.

- Good morning baby. - she said on the other end of the line. - Ready for the party?

- Party? What a party? - Y/n asked confused starting to wash the small amount ofdishes she had soiled.

- How you don't know? I thought I sent you the invitation on your email and I even sent you a message!

- Bestie, I haven't seen my email or message for days. I was super focused on the book, my writer's block finally went away.

- Really? I knew that would go away! You were worried for nothing. What did you do to go back to writing? - Milla asked and Y/n smiled a little.

- Well... I just went out to chill out a bit...Nothing much.

- Y/n getting out on weekdays? And even on the days you're writing a book? That's what I call grow. - she said and Y/n rolled her eyes laughing. - I'm even afraid to invite you to parties, because I know when you're writing you hate to go out... But it's good to know that you're getting out of your routine a little...

- Yeah, sometimes it's good to breathe new air. - Y/n replied drying his hands on a towel. - But what party are you talking about?

- A party of none other than Emma Brown. - Y/n snorted. Emma Brown was a great actress who to tell the truth she didn't know much, she only knew her from a couple of her movies, but other than that she didn't know much about her.

But what she did know was that she had some also famous friends of questionable taste. They were those famous people who only knew about money, women, cars and mansions. But she was tipped for a theatrical adaptation of one of her books and she wanted everything to come out perfect. She was very afraid the movie would end up ruining her work.

- Do I really have to go? - She asked in a tearful voice.

- Yes you have! It's going to be a really fancy birthday party for her, all the famous people in the industry are going to be there. You know you have to socialize with these people. Who knows, you can make some important friendships...

- Milla... I don't know... I don't need important friendships. I don't need anyone to stand up or approach others for interest.

- I know you don't need anyone for that... I just meant that you're very isolated, you need to make connections, understand? I know it's hard because you hate all that fame and stuff. But if you want the adaptation of your story to be good, there's no way... Besides, one of the great directors you left me on the list to research will be there too. So it would be really cool to kill two birds with one stone. - Milla said and Y/n sighed. She was right, if she wanted everything to work out she had to at least have a conversation with these people. It would be weird to refuse Emma's invitation to her birthday. It would just show that she was uninterested.

- Okay... You won ok? - She said and Milla gave an excited squeal. - But I won't stay long!

- Okay, okay... Just for you to go is great! Andrew will be there shortly for you to choose a dress. -Andrew was her stylist and she practically jumped every time Y/n had an important event, because it was rare for her to go. Good thing he didn't just have her as a client, because otherwise he'd be bored out of his mind for a long time.

- Okay Mil, thank you... I love you! - She said and Milla said goodbye hanging up the phone.

It was late afternoon when Andrew arrived at her apartment with several suitcases and bags in both hands. He really had brought up thousands of options. But Y/n ended up choosing a slightly shiny black dress that went just above the knee with a V-neck. Something cute, but nothing too fancy.

He did her makeup. Which wasn't too heavy either, as she hated things that were too heavy on her face. Finally she put on a mid-heeled sandal in the same color as the dress and her sparkly earrings. Before Andrew left her apartment satisfied with the result.

It was almost 7:30 pm when a black car that would take her to the party location arrived in front of her building and she got out enter the backseat right after. She was apprehensive. She hated socializing to tell the truth. Large crowds and cameras really made her anxious.

After almost 20 minutes the car stopped in front of what appeared to be a large gate. Several paparazzi showed up and started taking pictures of her car surrounding her or even tapping on the window a little, asking her if she could talk to them. Which she obviously ignored. The driver introduced himself to the doorman and he opened the gate letting the car pass and stop in front of a luxurious mansion.

Some people were coming in and others were standing in front talking. She saw that there were some familiar faces of the media. Actresses, actors, singers, famous people of every imaginable type.

She opened the car door and walked out towards the large entrance. She smiled at a few people, nodding her head as she passed and found herself in a crowd of people as she entered the place. There really were a lot of people, despite the place being even bigger inside. Many with fancy drinks in hand and chatting. A song playing on the background.

She walked deeper into the room and took a quick look around trying to find the birthday girl. After a few minutes she found her near one of the sofas. Y/n walked over and stopped beside her, causing Emma to stop her conversation with two more people and look at her.

- Happy Birthday! - Y/n said in the friendliest way possible and Emma smirked and hugged her lightly afterwards.

- Thank you! Glad you came! - she said, breaking out of the hug after a few seconds.

- Your party is very beautiful, I loved the decoration. - Y/n said looking around. Indeed Emma had decorated the place in a simple way, but at the same time fancy and beautiful.

- Oh thank you... - she said, still smiling. - I'm very happy that you accepted my invitation, we have a lot to talk about since maybe we'll work together, right?

- No problem, obviously I would come... - Y/n said and almost punched herself because she was very fake in saying that. - But we really have to talk!

- Well, I was talking to Jim just now... I can give you his number later... He's a great director and I think it would be great for your adaptation... - Emma said and Y/n thought that she was really interested in that adaptation, because she was even talking to the possible renowned director, which surprised her. She thought Emma was a little more oblivious to her books and even movie stuff. She thought she was one of those famous actresses who expected others to come after her, not being interested in the work itself, but only on the fame and money. - We love your book! I think it has great potential for a grand adaptation.

- Wow, that is good to hear! Thanks a lot! - Y/n said sincerely this time. - I'll love talking to him too...

- Sure! - She looked behind Y/n and motioned to someone from far away. - Hey Jim! You can come here? - She asked speaking loudly for him to hear and Y/n turned around watching the director approaching after saying goodbye to someone. He wasn't much older than she thought, maybe in his early thirties, he wore a small beard that fit his face and short hair, but with curls that jutted out around his head. -That's Y/n... Y/n that's Jim...-Emma said when he got in front of her and Jim held out his hand with a smile.

- Nice to meet Y/n, we finally met... - he said and Y/n shook his hand also smiling.

- Nice to meet you Jim! - She said and Emma sat in one of the armchairs indicating for the two to sit, which they did next.

- Do you two want something to drink? Champagne?- Emma asked and they both accepted as she motioned for someone from far away to bring them.

- Well, I found your book very intriguing Y/n... I can say I haven't slept for a while... - Jim said laughing a little and Y/n smiled. - It's a very well written story, I loved the plots and it has a great resolution. I think I would make a good 2 hour movie with all this material... - he said and Y/n paid attention until something took her a little out of focus. Something not. Somebody.

It was the waiter, and not just any waiter. It was Tom. He came into her vision and she couldn't believe what she was seeing. Maybe it was a mirage or she was mistaking him for someone else. But when he approached she was sure it was him. He came with a tray with drinks in one hand. He was wering a white dress shirt, with black pants. The typical pattern of a fancy party waiter. But he was beautiful. Y/n felt a shiver for a moment and tried to hide it by looking back at Jim who was still talking about his plans for the possible movie.

Maybe Tom didn't even remember her. She was just a one-night stand, he should do that with a lot of girls out there, so it wasn't something new to him. As soon as he arrived, he handed one of the glasses to Emma beside her and Y/n felt her breath quicken a little. She didn't know why she was so nervous. It was just a waiter she had slept with a few days ago.

- Excuse me... - he said and Y/n looked up at him quickly seeing that he was right in front of him. -Here it is miss...-he said looking her in the eyes and then winking at her, wich almost make her shrink in her chair. He held out the tray for her to take one of the glasses and she did, looking away at Jim.

- So, what do you think? - Jim asked taking the glass from the tray and Y/n took a sip of his surprise drink.

- Sorry? - She asked guiltily for having been distracted.

- About us meeting and having a meeting next week? That way I can show you my idea better. - he said and Y/n smiled.

- Of course, that would be great! - she said and Tom walked away not looking in her direction again, which left her disappointed for a second. She would going to love looking into those eyes again.

- Perfect! - Jim replied excitedly and started talking about other things as well as Emma.

They talked for almost an hour, until Emma went to talk to other people and Jim said he was leaving as he had some work in the morning. Y/n sat for a while and finished drinking the last of her champagne and placed it on the table in front of her.

She thought about leaving. She had already done the important interactions for the night. So, she had no reason to stay there. But she kept thinking about the damn waiter. Would it be weird to go talk to him? Maybe just say hi? But she doubted he would want to talk to her. Besides, he was working. She didn't want to get in his way.

Getting up from her chair and straightening her dress, she forced her steps towards the exit, but stopped midway as she saw Tom walking into what appeared to be the kitchen with the tray tucked under his arm. She looked at the exit door and sighed. Okay, if she went to him just to say hi, it wouldn't hurt would it?

Y/n turned and headed in the direction that Tom had gone. She couldn't even believe she was doing it this. She would looked ridiculous in his eyes. But she choose to ignore the little voice of reason again. Passing by a few people, and walking out into a empty hallway, she opening a single door at end. She closed in behind her and turned to see that Tom was on his back piling some boxes in a corner. His muscles in that outfit made her feel tempted somehow, so she swallowed hard. He turned at the sound of the door closing and looked at her with a mixture of confusion and curiosity.

- Looking for something madam? - He asked with a smirk.

- Actually... - Y/n thought of some excuse, maybe it would be better, so it would seem that she was there for something else and not for him. - Yeah... I was looking for the bathroom, I think I take the wrong direction...

- Yeah...Actually, the bathroom is on the other side of the hallway... - he said leaning against the kitchen counter and looking her up and down, making her feel completely vulnerable. After his eyes roamed her legs and bust, they came to her face and he grinned.

- Okay, I'll... - Y/n started saying and turned around taking a few steps. But she stopped midway, closing his eyes, tearing himself apart from the inside out of embarrassment. She turned around again seeing that he was still watching her, now with his arms crossed over his chest, wondering what she would do next. - You remember me don't you? - She asked fearfully.

- Of course I remember darling... - he said, practically intensifying his accent in that nickname that was so perfect in his voice. Y/n took a few steps forward also crossing her arms. - How could I forget the famous writer Y/n?- He raised an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes with his last sentence.

- It really was an...- She looked at her feet trying to find a word. - Interesting night… - she finally said and he chuckled, making her look up.

- Very interesting indeed... - he said putting his hands in his front pockets, pulling himself away from the counter and heading towards her. Y/n wanted to say goodbye and leave, run away as fast as possible. But she couldn't, every move he did was too tempting, so she just stood there watching him get closer and closer to her. He stopped in front of her and looked into her eyes, smiling slightly.

- What are you doing here? Do you work as a waiter at parties too? - Y/n asked curiously.

- My boss sometimes receives proposals for us to work at these rich parties... - he said with a shrug.

- Oh... Nice... - she said crossing her arms. - Well...Now I really have to go... - she said trying to get away from it one last time.

- Why did you really come here love? -Tom asked tilting his head a little to the side and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

- I told you, I was looking for the bathroom. -Y/n looked at his face trying to be firm, but saw that he still wore that smirk. Why did he have to be so confident like that?

- Oh sure... Just like you also looked for some excuse that day for me to leave, but failed miserably?- he asked making a thoughtful face and she still hadn't decided if she wanted to slap him or kiss him.

- Why did you leave without saying goodbye tho? - She asked ignoring what he had said.

- So that's why you came after me? Are you hurt that I didn't leave you a goodbye kiss? - he said pouting.

- Of course not, I just... I don't know, it would be nice to say that you were leaving and that you wouldn't stay for breakfast... - Y/n said looking to the side, avoiding those brown eyes that intimidated her.

- Darling, I'm not that type guy, sorry...

- What type of guy? - she still avoided looking at him.

- The type who stay for breakfeast. -he said taking a hand from her pocket and taking her chin gently, making her look at him. - But if you want some fun I'm at your disposal. -he said and she bit her lower lip lightly making him deviate his eyes towards her lips. - Do you want darling?- he asked quietly and Y/n seemed to be transfixed by her touch. She was surrendered, she couldn't deny it. Maybe even hypnotized.

- I...- she said with a little shaky voice. - I don't know...

- Yes or no?- he asked looking from her lips to her eyes and she felt her breath getting heavy.

- Yes...- she just spoke as a whisper and he smiled satisfied.

- How about you meet me in 15 minutes in the bathroom of the pool house? - He said and she just shook her head slowly. Tom released her chin and backed away slowly, not taking his eyes off her, and then walked away leaving her alone with her heart racing.

Y/n took a deep breath and tried to place herself in what had just happened. Did she really want this? Her mind could try to hear the voice of reason, but it was drowned out by her body's reaction. She wanted to feel him again.

She walked away quickly, passing several people who were talking loudly or who were already drunk. She looked around and saw the door that led to the back side and sneak there, getting out and feeling the slightly chilly night air, closing the sliding door behind her.

She saw the pool that had some people around it and a little further to the right a door that opened into another closed space. Probably the pool house. She walked over there, trying to hide it so no one would see her, and went inside. She closed the front door slowly and headed towards the bathroom.

The place was dark, with only the lights outside. So she was holding her hand into to some stuff until he found the door. She went in and turned on the light. The bathroom was spacious, with a large sink and a huge mirror in front of it. She closed herself off and looked at herself in the reflection.

That was crazy. She had never done that at parties. Not even when she was drunk. And now she was there, looking forward to what might happen. In fact she knew what was going to happen, just as she knew when she invited him up to her apartment that night. But even so, she felt butterflies in her stomach in anticipation.

After almost 10 minutes of waiting she heard the bathroom door open and she turned in the direction, feeling extremely anxious. Tom came in looking over his shoulder and closed the door soon after, looking at her with an opening grin. He locked the door slowly with one hand and came towards her in a hurry.

The next thing she felt was his lips pressing against hers urgently. He kissed her like it was the last thing he would do. Running her tongue over her lips asking permission and Y/n opened it slowly letting him explore her mouth with his burning tongue.

She ran her hand around the back of his neck pulling his hair and he responded by holding her waist tightly. Tom walked forward and she leaned her back against the sink counter. Making him lift her with agility, sitting her down on the cold surface and getting between her legs. She grunted in surprise against his mouth and he broke the kiss for air. Kissing from her neck to her collarbone and she closed her eyes feeling his touch.

- Tom... - she said in a low voice. - You won't get in trouble if you disappear like that? -he now kissed her neckline and squeezed her thigh with desire.

- Not if we're fast darling. -He spoke a bit husky, moving his kisses to her earlobe, biting lightly and she moaned low. - And despite loving your sounds, you will have to be silent. - He looked at her smiling maliciously. - Promise? -He spoke touching her nose with his lightly, looking at her closely, and she nodded making him attack her lips next.

Still kissing her he pulled the hem of her dress up a little and she bit his lip making him smile against the kiss. Her fingers reached her inner thigh and then moved up to her panties. Tom put the fabric aside with one of her fingers and passed one slowly at her entrance feeling her wetness.

- Always ready for me aren't you darling? -He said pulling his mouth away from hers, staying just a few centimeters away from her. She moaned softly again and he smiled as he pulled her fingers away and replaced them around her thighs pulling her closer to the edge of the sink.  He started to finger her really slowly and she bite her lips, trying to control her moaning. Tom keep his pace just watching her face squirm with pleasure. After seconds he removed his delicious fingers making her almost protest out loud, makind him smile even more. If wasn't for the rush he would definitively make his time with you.

Y/n then put his hands on the collar of his shirt and opened the first buttons. Kissing his neck with desire, making him squeeze her thighs in response. Biting her lips he unfastened his belt and then the buttons of his pants pulled them down along with his boxers, revealing his cock. He pulled her in for one more kiss before taking the condom package from his pocket and opening it, meanwhile Y/n was kissing uncovered place she could reach, from his face to his chest, opening more buttons of his shirt.

Tom adjusted the condom on his cock before taking a few thrusts. He moved even closer to her, if that was even possible, and gave her a peck.

- Ready? He spoke softly against her lips and she nodded almost in despair, wanting to feel him inside her more than anything.

He smiled once more and slid his cock easily as she was completely wet. Tom growled low against her ear and Y/n bit her lip so no sound could come out. He started to move, after she was more adjusted to his size, at first slowly and starting to increase his pace with each second.

-Fuck... - he cursed softly against her ear and she pulled the hair from his neck with one hand, while the other squeezed his shoulder. The more he increased the pace she felt as if she were coming off the ground. - So tight darling... - he said between small grunts. - Feels so good...

- Tom... - Y/n spoke and he increased the pace even more making her moan with the sudden sensation of pleasure and he muffled her sounds by sticking his lips on hers.

-Shh… - he said after moving his lips from hers and Y/n tried her best to keep the sounds to herself, but he filled her perfectly and made her feel so good that she couldn't help it. Tom smirked and put his hand over her mouth, covering her moans. - Can't contain yourself? -he said and kissed her neck giving light bites and hickeys. -You're so easy for me, love... Look at you...- he spoke in a low voice, while still holding his hand firm in her mouth and kissing below her ear. - So easy...- he said going faster, as if it were possible, and bit his lower lip trying to contain his own moans this time, touching his nose to her cheek.

- Please…- she managed to speak muffled against his hand, feeling her orgasm quickly building.

- I know sweetheart... - he said making her feel his heavy breath into her cheek. -I got you ...-he finally said and that was enough for her orgasm to release with force, making him also come right after her with one last muffled grunt against her neck. He continued to move slowly for a few more seconds, before coming to a complete stop. The two of them with their breaths out of control. Reaching their high.

After a few minutes Tom took his hand from her mouth and soon after took his member out of her slowly. The two were silent the entire time. Y/n felt empty as  soonTom walked away to clean up, still half dazed from all the pleasure she just felt. He cleaned himself up and discarded the condom, zipping his pants and turned around, buttoning his shirt right away. Y/n didn't take her eyes off every move he made and he smiled approaching her.

- Want some help darling? - he asked standing in front of her and she held in his arms before he helped her getting down from the sink. She felt a little dizzy and if it wasn't for him holding her she thought she would fall. - You're right? - he asked still holding her on her waist.

- Yes...Thank you... - she managed to say.

- Well, I have to go, before they notice that I'm gone... - he said, releasing her.

- Of course... - Y/n said. - Tom… - she didn't know what to say. It might be the second time they'd done this, but it still felt like it was the first and she felt somewhat embarrassed. Maybe because she wasn't used to casual sex.

- See you soon? - He said giving a quick kiss on her cheek, fixing his hair in the best way he could and winking as he walked away, going to the door and unlocking it. He got out and closed it behind him while she back staring into the mirror.

She took a deep breath and was trying to figure out what to do next. After cleaning her up she finally got out of there. She crawled to the door and managed to get through the party without the weird looks she thought everyone would send to her when they bumped into her. For some reason she thought everyone would know, but obviously not. She felt weird doing that at an party, it really wasn't like her. But why did she feel so good?

She looked around before heading out of the house, but she didn't find Tom in her vision and she didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. She wanted to look at him one last time from afar, but at the same time she didn't. Maybe that was the last time they were going to do that. She didn't think she'd find him like this anywhere else, and she didn't intend to go to the bar he worked at just to get another night with him. Besides, that's what she was, just one night, just a "quickie" in the bathroom. And everything was fine. He was that for her too, so what did it matter?

For a moment she felt his head fill with ideas. Y/n had a perfect plot for her story now. She had to go home and get back to writing right away. Calling the driver from a distance, she practically ran towards the car.

[retrogradedreaming]

Ahh I loved hearing your responses to the alphabet asks I sent! What you wrote about wilderness was breathtaking and made me wonder what kinds of trees or animals you were around growing up. Also I really know what you mean when it comes to appreciating questions, both being asked as well as asking them yourself. It’s definitely a gift to be one of those people that others feel okay opening up around.

Hehe yeah I did think I’d see Kaoru’s name if I gave you a K and I love what you wrote about him. I think he’s my favourite character for much the same reasons - I’m always bottling up emotions and anxious as hell, but what I love about Kaoru is that he’s not just a worrier, but also a warrior. That man will fight for what he wants to accomplish and look damn good while doing so.

Anyway, I really loved reading what you wrote so I hope you don’t mind if I send you some more for the other ask game you posted today!

I'm so glad you liked them!! I'm always kind of afraid I ramble TOO much in my responses but then I remember this is my blog and I can do what I want, haha (but nevertheless still happy someone enjoys it!!)

Growing up, there were lots of animals around, but mainly deer, foxes, rabbits, raccoons, coyotes...a lot of backyard animals, it's just that the ones you usually see from a distance hung out right next to the house. It wasn't, like, bears or anything, haha. A few times I was playing outside as a kid and there'd be a fox out there and my parents would be like ooookay time to come back inside now. Another time I was like 9-ish probably and was playing in my front yard alone and a big coyote just walked across the dirt road like 50 feet in front of me and I was like "ah yes, a large dog" and said nothing and then later was like "ohhhh that was not a dog."

Yes, that's exactly how I feel about questions!! I really like making people feel heard and seen if I can, and now I'm working on applying that same care to myself (which is much harder, but it pays off).

So true, I wish I had more of that Kaoru, haha. Although, I guess it's not that far off - I do fight for what I want, but I don't do it loudly, I just make sure I get where I want to go. (Also I don't do calligraphy, but I DO own my own freelance writing business so that's sort of similar, I guess, if far less glamorous than Kaoru's life. When will I get my suitcase full of money)

I don't mind at all! Literally send me asks for anything anytime. I'd planned to answer the numbered V day asks yesterday but I was so distracted all day and had deadlines and by the time evening hit, I just wanted to eat my sushi and watch Arcane. Literally I spent like 4 hours cross stitching and listening to The Graveyard Book and forgot tumblr existed for a minute. But I'll answer them today!!

[emeto-things]

ive been almost completely recovered from emet for almost a year now (even v* twice in that time and didn't have a panic about it), but just within the last few hours ive felt just sightly off and im not sure why. i had a bit of a soft bm but nothing too odd, but now i don't want to eat and feel "weird". i know it's not that bad but i associate this feeling with it getting worse then me getting s* later. i think why its freaking me out now is because i have an event coming up in a few days that im really excited about (and was a fair amount of money), and if i get sick,i may not be able to go. that scares me so much more than being s* by itself now. what do i do? i haven't felt this way in so long i don't know how to deal with it any more

What you’re feeling could just be a bit of anxiety regarding the soft BM. You make not be s* or getting s*. When I feel anxious, distractions are a big help. So I play computer games on Facebook & listening to soothing music. Also being cold helps, so I have an ice pack on my chest. If I’m panicking, I hold ice cubes in my bare hands for a good couple of minutes. It distracts your brain! You got this! I hope you feel better!!! -Kaitlyn