#i think it makes much more sense to read it more metaphorically than assume it's supposed to be literal

[2hoothoots]

i've seen a couple of posts recently talking about Thorney Towers and its bizarre geometry - how it's the only real-world location we see with gravity-defying environments and Escheresque architecture. here's what's always been my interpretation: the inside of the asylum doesn't literally look like that, but it's a representation of how Raz, with his extrasensory awareness, perceives it.

there are a couple of thing in the games that imo make it explicit we're seeing everything filtered through Raz's point of view. there's gameplay stuff, like how things he's focusing on will get a green glow around them; and then there's stuff like the bit at the end of Rhombus of Ruin, implying that the Hand of Galochio is, at least sometimes, something only he can see. we can also see ripples in the air where two people are talking telepathically or where there are stray thoughts, auras around certain characters, and so on - things that (presumably) aren't visible to the regular, non-psychic person.

i've always figured that this extends to the way he perceives the rest of the world, too. the upper levels of Thorney Tower are twisted, mind-bending, impossible spaces that could never plausibly exist in real life. to me, this level is more of a visual metaphor than anything else. it's twisted and warped the same way our own perception can be warped by strong feelings, like how a sense of claustrophobia can make it feel like the walls are squeezing down on you, or vertigo can make heights seem to stretch and spin.

(screenshots taken from a Let's Play by Materwelons)

there's a long-standing trope of psychics/empaths/mediums being able to read the 'vibes' of places they're in, especially places where horrible things have happened. real-world asylums and sanitariums have been the sites of untold horrors against their 'patients'; confinement and restraints, electroshock therapy, lobotomies... it's easy to imagine Thorney Towers as a place suffused with suffering, the anguish of its old inhabitants seeping into it like a stain, lingering like ghosts even after the building itself has been all but abandoned.

what does that feel like, if you're someone who's sensitive to it? how does it warp your perception of the space around you? the twisted interiors of Thorney Towers harken back to the impossible geometry of some of the mental worlds, and i think that's deliberate. to me, we're seeing a blending of both the physical surroundings, an old building in disrepair; and the metaphysical, the echoes of old feelings that still haunt the place, the way it must have looked to some of its inhabitants - warped in a way that's upsetting and almost incomprehensible.

i don't have an explanation for the pit of radioactive goo at the bottom, though. if anyone has any ideas about the goo let me know i guess

[beneathashadytree]

from the same authors of "do you think zayne cum is cold?" we also have: do you think xavier cum shine in the dark, or that he shines when he comes (like that blonde female character from the boys, that i forgot the name)?

I know you are only message fics for now and i dont know if something like this would fit that format, but if you can i would love to read anything about this ♡

I’m gonna be honest with you nonnie, I’m VERY out of touch with modern media (I’ve watched like. 4 series in my entire life and a total of like 20 movies all in all) so I have no idea what you’ve just referenced, BUTTTT I do believe I have an answer to your question!! Of course this is all based off my silly headcanons, so take my opinion with a grain of salt🙏🏽 Of course, this is pretty NSFW, and the reader is gender-neutral as always!

To anyone else reading this, my requests are still closed!! These are just my ramblings, or old requests I had🫶🏽

Tip jar!

Masterlist

Metaphorically speaking, Xavier’s cum is pretty much lighter fluid

In the sense that this man’s diet is absolutely disastrous… can a person even live on an almost-purely-carnivorous diet???

Naturally that makes his cum a lot more bitter than it normally would be, so unless his lover wants to choke on battery acid every time they swallow his cum, they ought to sit down with him and have a few serious conversations regarding sex vs food

Either he pulls out of their mouth before he cums when they’re sucking him off, or he gets a little more greens in him in order to improve his own taste… fair enough, I would think!

Xavier doesn’t really mind; after all, he’s still eating lots of red meat, he just now balances that out with more fruits and veggies… and he still gets the overwhelming pleasure of watching his partner swallow his release with a much more pleased hum than they ever did, their thumb reaching out to catch any drops that spill out of the corner of their mouth

It drives him half mad, but he guesses that’s a small price to pay

Now that we’ve got the metaphorical part out of the way, let’s get to this interesting point: does he, or does he not glow when he climaxes?

I wouldn’t say that his cum glows, because if it did, I think his other bodily fluids would too

From a fictional anatomical standpoint, I highly doubt that his lover wouldn’t notice if his saliva had a bit of a glow (something they’d surely notice while making out or having a hearty meal, for example)

So I do believe his cum is as normal as normal could be for a man like him

I do believe, though, since he’s not 100% human (or, at the very least, not from Earth) that doesn’t mean he’s fully normal

I think that he would have abnormally thick cum, and I would assume that that has to do with his biological make-up

Given how people from Philos lead extremely long lives (given Xavier’s age, I’d give them a lifespan of 500+), and given how literally none of the characters from Philos have any siblings, I think it would be safe to assume that their seed isn’t very potent to start with

So if a person will live half a millennium and be able to have just 1 kid their entire life, I do believe that their cum would be stickier and thicker in order to have a higher chance of “taking” by not spilling out immediately

So I honestly think that Xavier’s cum is genetically modified for breeding purposes

And regardless of whether or not his significant other has the ability to become pregnant and/or even wants it at all, his brain has him wired to have a bit of a breeding kink that he can’t even help

But of course, he’ll always listen to and respect his partner’s wishes!

One thing I’ve noticed about Xavier, however, is that his eyes tend to lose their shine when he’s being forward and open about his sexual desires

He’s putty in his lover’s hands, yes, but once he takes control? Those angel eyes have a very intentional purpose, and he’s making that message come across loud and clear

Like a turbulent ocean, deep and all-consuming, his gaze leaves no doubts about what he wants

Now, here’s my headcanon: I like to think that when he’s close, his eyes get their shine back; so much so that they would be mistaken for tears

Maybe it’s the emotional attachment to the person he’s yearned for all these years, maybe it’s because of his own EVOL making its appearance

But for some reason, as he begins to lose control, his eyes do shine quite a bit, almost like freshly-cut sparkling sapphires

It’s quite dazzling and a bit surprising to witness for the first time, since Xavier doesn’t usually exhibit non-human behavior

But it makes that seraphic face seem all the more otherworldly; the contrast between how beautiful he is and how downright filthy his actions can be when he’s buried to the hilt inside them makes their head spin

After he’s spilled inside them amidst soft sighs and sweet moans, his eyes do go back to normal after a few seconds of closing them in bliss, so they might miss it if they’re not paying close attention

Kind of hard to look away though, when your lover looks like that

Taglist: @verynormalsstuff @angry-and-yandere @nxx-jordiepord @honestlyjustablog @dawnbreakersgaze @tartartagliaboo @lucis-noctiana @riinari-sa @reika-desu @tikitsune @roll-of-royces @lemonsupernova @loveyoutodeep @belovedof @obiwanmcprobie @kalatipunan @eurekazz @bifedebruxa @thescribeswife @mysticangel123 @xenasolos @jvnluvr @dann-acalle @rin-sv14 @yololesgo @an-ever-angry-bi @semi-orangeapple @lavanderbliss @myturnwhen @winterlvod @carsonology @respitable @stellisangelicus-world @kvsqkiii @bitchynightmarepost @snoozeflare @spotted-salamander @cindywasneverhere @ladyparamount @sncrly0urs @huntersmoon1 @musiclover2119 @girl-who-lives-in-delusion @milktsukii @fromdeepspace-withlove @granddearduck @skriblobz @nadinefromwhere @imhere2dosomething @saerotonins @cantescapethevoid @teewritessmth @lovra974 @straykidz143 @reishuus @xinnn6 @vyntagei @bakahimesama (more in replies!)

Sign up for my taglist here!

[beforetimes]

telepathy kink is always talked about but i loveee the way erik's relationship with charles' mutation is dependant on how much he trusts charles + how willing he would be to submit to charles should he ever use it. like in first class charles spends time flicking in and out of erik's head no issue because erik trusts charles and also when charles was in erik's head, he brought out a piece of happiness that erik no longer thought he had. so he's more willing to submit to charles' telepathy. and he puts the helmet on because he's more vulnerable directly after killing the man who was such a direct source of violence in his life and realizing that it wasn't enough—which probably shook erik to his core, because his whole life he's been hunting this one guy just to find that it's not over yet?

and then in days of future past, erik once again goes back to saying 'i don't have my helmet i couldn't disobey you if i wanted' which some people read as a taunt, some people read as him not accepting charles' mutation (which like? i don't think erik has ever not accepted him, but whatever) but i personally read it as erik once more trying to find his footing with charles after a decade apart.

anyway now that i talked about canon stuff i think specifically in the context of a sexual relationship, the telepathy stuff would be a way for erik to give up control over the situation and put his full trust in charles. which is important because a) erik is someone who thrives on being in control and finds it very important because so much of his agency was robbed of him and choosing to submit to a higher power than his own is something that insinuates a great deal of trust in the other party and b) charles is the only one who he could do this with because charles proved that he had the capacity to invade erik's mind and know him wholly and didn't take advantage of that and has shown time and time again he will help erik no matter what.

its also the fact that erik repeatedly implies that charles' telepathy will be used to control him when its a much more surface-level/baseline understanding that telepathy is the reading of minds rather than outright taking control of them. it's even in the definition of telepathy. but knowing charles can take control of him and constantly inviting him to (in an assumed sexual context, in this case) highlights how erik sort of longs to have responsibility for his actions taken away from him. which again can only be done by charles. not just because of his powers but because so many of his actions have directly hurt charles and he's the only one who can both metaphorically and physically relieve him of the culpability behind the consequences of what he's done when in complete control of himself. so again erik is someone who wants to relieve himself of his overly-controlling nature, his responsibilities, be completely vulnerable to someone who's seen him at his worst and loved him anyway.

and the only way erik can be all these things at once is by being under charles' control. (under the control of someone stronger than erik who has proven he will never hurt him with the power charles can exert over him).

so like sexually yes it's fun to say haha erik telepathy kink but also i think it is something much more tender which encapsulates the fact that erik is only this vulnerable with someone he has so much trust in and that person can only ever be charles because its only around charles he can truly be wholly himself. and so submissive erik is real to me #tbh

hope this makes sense i am kind of just rambling

[cairavende]

My wonderful girlfriend got me Gideon the Ninth for Christmas and I realized why should I just give Worm recaps? Let's read some Locked Tomb! (We'll see how this format works, maybe I'll adjust it. Specifically might break stuff down into smaller segments instead of full acts, but I didn't think of doing this until after I had read all of act 1.)

Gideon the Ninth Act 1 (chapter 1 through 8) thoughts:

This book is so gay oh my god

Like, it's gay in ways I can't even explain. I love it.

Harrow beats the shit out of Gideon in chapter 2 and I don't know if I've ever seen someone get beat up in a more gay way.

"Oh Griddle! But I don't even remember about you most of the time." ROLL A FUCKING DECEPTION CHECK HARROW! You are saying this standing in the middle of the field you spent all night burying bones in just to foil her escape in the most dramatic way. You can't stop remembering her.

Gideon is the most herbo of herbos. I fucking love her. I love reading her PoV. She just knows punch and stab with sword and if those don't work than she'll just do them harder.

Also Gideon is SO fucking gay. Dear god. Dulcinea faints and Gideon turns off all though. HELP PRETTY GIRL. Nothing else.

Ok I could just make this whole thing "EVERYTHING IS GAY" but there is technically more than that.

I love how weird everything is and how little explanation is given. I don't want pages of exposition, I want to learn the world as it comes at me! This is perfect.

And just the very nature of things that seem weird not being given more than a passing thought in the book is information. Something may seem wild to the reader but it's so normalized to the characters that they wouldn't even think about the idea of it being different.

Lack of explanation also helps really show how much of a meathead Gideon is. Do the readers get to learn details about this thing? Only if it is a weapon, has tits, or Gideon is forced to listen while Harrow explains it. Otherwise no, why the fuck would Gideon spend her precious few brain cells on thinking?

And even if Gideon is forced to listen as Harrow explains it, the readers might not learn much cause Gideon might stop listening. I love her.

Aiglamene is wonderful. Crux is fine but I like her more.

Poor Gideon just wants a big sword that she can swing hard. It's not like she can't use a rapier. But why when she can go big sword?

SO MUCH CATHOLICISM

As someone who once was Catholic and then realized I was actually not a straight man, but instead a lesbian, I am in deep.

And the fucking slang used! Or whatever would be the right term. The shit they say! I love it. Just the weird sci-fi far future space necromancer universe and then suddenly "Are you asking me to . . . throw her a bone?", "Gideon had always known that this would be how she went: gangbanged to death by skeletons.", "Don’t hypothetically shove stuff up my butt again, it never does any good.", "Lo! A destructed ass.", "Well we were developing common sense, she studied the blade.", "Double Bones with Doctor Skelebone."

House of the First appears to be Earth. I kinda assume the House of the Ninth is Pluto, even though things obviously aren't in order given that the Seventh and Sixth are closer to the sun. Of course, I'm kinda expecting this to not technically be this solar system at all.

Undying Emperor, King of Resurrection, I Have Ten-Thousand Titles, Boss First, etc etc hasn't been on "Earth" in over nine thousand years. I wanna know MORE.

And the fucking Ninth House has their own prayer! Everyone else has one that the Ninth didn't know and then the Ninth had one that no one else knows! GIMME MORE!!!!

Also again, so many Catholicism metaphors or comparisons or whatever!

I could go on forever but gonna end this one with OH MY GOD SHE FOUND SUNGLASSES I LOVE HER. Fucking "I came prepared, my sweet." and "But then you couldn't have admired . . . these!" as she whips on the sunglasses. God. I nearly died.

[haitang-blossoms]

On Differential Methods, Politics, & Intimacy for Early Novel!Cezhou (haitang-blossoms' Qiang Jin Jiu meta)

Note: This analysis goes up to Chapter 42 which is where I had read up to before Lianyin's fantranslation was taken down due to official English licensing by Seven Seas. This is also the source of my quoted screenshots of the novel.

The way both Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye weaponise perceived incompetence (through fabricated images of "grateful helplessness" and "devil-may-care hedonism" respectively) is so compelling and really serves to flesh out the realities of the environment they are forced to navigate.

It is a recurring narrative motif that both Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye are "beasts" trapped and restrained by the political system of Qudu. However, the difference in social position and status between them is key to why they choose the masks that they do.

Shen Zechuan, both as a by-proxy-traitor to the nation and as the son of a dancer, has always had to keep his head down and not act beyond his station. Thus, it is perfectly natural that he operates within this expected framework: both to survive in the hostile political landscape as well as to conceal his own intentions and moves within the shadows.

Xiao Chiye, on the other hand, was born into relative power. While the Xiao Clan of Libei was never in the favour of the Empress Dowager, they are nonetheless a reputable cavalry with a hereditary title. Xiao Chiye, as the second son, has both less direct political influence as well as responsibility than his father (the prince) or his elder brother (the next-in-line). This is how he is so easily made a "bargaining chip" and assigned to what seems to be a hopelessly dead-end job in order to keep a metaphorical "leash" on any rebellious intent that Libei may harbour. Given his wealth and inevitable position of being constantly in the public eye, the easiest way to cover up the target on Xiao Chiye's back is to present himself as a frivolous hedonist who is too busy chasing after liquor and bed-partners to pose a real threat to the established power dynamics of the capital.

The difference between their methods can also be observed in the way that their preferences are perceived by others:

Xiao Chiye presents himself as genial: he loves to drink, he is sociable enough to go out with friends frequently etc. However, as seen in the quote above, Xiao Chiye's "friendliness" is actually quite distant in that even the people who think they know him well are unaware of his true preferences. Yet he conducts himself in such a manner that they would not even think to ponder such things. It is a very effective approach for gathering intel: make the other party assume you are giving away much more about yourself than you are, opening the door for them to carelessly overshare from a sense of fabricated comradery.

Shen Zechuan is the opposite: going along with how he is forced to constantly humble himself and downplay his abilities, his preferences have to be presented as equally accommodating to the will of others. There are many instances where he seemingly goes along with others, secretly gritting his teeth the whole way, in order to "soften" them up to be played into his hand later.

And this goes into my next point:

Even though Shen Zechuan has an image of seductiveness, his entire method revolves around NOT having openly expressed desires because that would only serve as a vulnerability. Xiao Chiye, by contrast, predicates his mask around devil-may-care hedonism.

In this way, desire is both much more familiar to Xiao Chiye as well as easier to integrate into his established reputation than for Shen Zechuan. 

This is key to why Xiao Chiye is the first to accept his feelings and why he is much more comfortable with unabashedly expressing them. Thus, I think the differences in how Cezhou present themselves and the contrasting methods they use to stay ahead in their environment have bearing not only on the political games of their world but also on their relationship and how they relate themselves to each other.

[twunkbirthzey]

snokoplasm ramble

(i had this part in my amazingphil marathon document and this is the most basic thing that everyone probably thought about but i wanted to share bc why not)

Ever since the first time I watched this years ago I could not stop thinking about snokoplasm. First of all, it’s just so creative and whimsical and beautiful and PEAK arthouse amazingphil. But also I cannot help but do a queer reading of it. (I think Phil has so much indirect commentary about societal gender roles in his 2000’s videos. I don’t and can’t know whether that’s intentional or just subconscious of course but they ARE there and especially visible with snokoplasm and Phillippa) A lot of people did this like 10 years before me so this is NOT original at all but I wanted to yap about it.

I remember seeing tumblr posts about this back in the day of people arguing whether this is lube or not lmao, but it COULD be!!! (Could be a good addition to the pina colada gate T-T.) It could be lube bc of my thoughts on the object/element as a whole. This could be an overanalysis and I could be making shit up but hear me out.

First of all realizing you’ve run out of snokoplasm is a bit odd bc a lot of other people say it’s shower gel etc (which could be and we’ll probably never know) but when you run out of this you usually know and don’t “realize” bc you use it often. You know. And if I read the whole thing as a queer allegory it being lube just makes sense???

He goes into the store and the shopkeeper immediately assumes he’s getting the blue one. Phil then gets offended and laughs, saying “You actually think I’d use blue?” and this alludes to the fact that he’s been stereotyped by the shop helper. We do know that he was “emo” and not very “stereotypically male” in his self presentation at the time and this kind of feels like people immediately assuming that he’s gay. The helper even says “It's so obvious that you use blue snokoplasm,” furthering this idea of Phil looking a certain way. Phil’s reply to this makes me truly believe that this a queer allegory because he shows off his muscles and says “Yellow all the way,” which isn’t really the way he usually talks, and ties to his problems with masculinity during this era. Then they have an argument over whether it’s yellow or green, which I don’t think it’s a direct metaphor but feels like bisexuality and heterosexuality. Phil pushes for the “hetero” one while the shopkeep tries to push the “bisexual” one on him, sure that he is queer? Also the discussion of language over queer identities still being more relevant than ever is funny lol. Phil finally accepts the “green” one, which is a kind of mirroring of a lot of gay people using the bisexual label before they are ready to come out as gay, to hang onto the idea of straight relationships. (which I have my own thoughts on but this is not the place for it). To make the queer reading more compelling, the shopkeep then says he will definitely secretly order the blue one online, almost as if that is a shameful thing. SO IDK it does feel like an either deliberate or subconsciously presented work of struggles with queer identity and a story of being “clocked” as a closeted person to me.

FOLLOW UP SNOKOPLASM MENTIONS IN OLD AMAZINGPHIL VIDS

ChristmasPhil- Him thanking people for thinking the one from the previous video IS yellow… interesting… 

“You can get blue as well obviously but… you know I wouldn’t buy that ever” in a shy persona is the main nail in the coffin for me. It’s like a if you know you know thing.

Philorida- I think him having blue snokoplasm and saying he bought it for a friend furthers the whole argument further. Even if Phil didn't intend this to be an allegory at first when he made it, it definitely did gain a meaning through these extra mentions.

Life without the internet!?- He briefly mentions snokoplasm and uses the red one. Red is never clearly defined, so I think it’s kind of an extra in terms of themes, but I need to watch more to be sure. Kind of supports snokoplasm not being an intentional metaphor but a successful accidental one.

TUMBLR STUFF ABOUT SNOKOPLASM

Right after writing this I did go on tumblr to see some older posts and this green/yellow argument also made sense to me and it strengthens the argument. 

There was another link which included a video response from someone at the time and now i cant find it :(((( but what i wrote abt it was:

The video response of the girl from SO LONG AGO does make me think that we are right and this is a direct metaphor of sexuality. (“It’s nothing to be ashamed of”, “I know it would be hard to say at first”)

ALLLSO this!

[magefeathers]

In honor of TMBTE’s first birthday I’ve decided to finally unleash my dissertation on my unusual interpretation(s) of Sleep! I’ve only ever seen one person who had a similar outlook to me, and they said they received some Negative Feedback on their views, so uh, don’t shoot me?

My favorite thing about this band's fandom is exploration of the lore, how open to interpretation everything is, and how welcome we are to find our own stories within the source material. I love reading how other people interpret certain songs, or the overarching story, differently from each other based on their own outlooks and experiences. That's what I think the point is. So I want to be clear that I'm not trying to say I'm right, I'm not trying to say anyone else is wrong, I'm just expressing my own opinion.

Grab a drink, it's a long one. I won't give a TL;DR because I don't want people to reactively shoot down my theory without reading my reasoning, but I will say it deviates from the more standard interpretations in two ways:

I don't believe Sleep is meant to be an actual deity, I think it's meant to be more allegorical, a metaphor for something real.

I don't think the music, or the story being told, is about Sleep.

I'm sorry if I've already lost you with the first point. I'm sorry if I seem like a party pooper. I love the aesthetic and the worldbuilding and the symbolism, and I love the creativity of the fans who build out the story on the premise of Vessel actually communing with and having some manner of relationship with this great, unknowable, ancient deity. The issue for me is that I can only read that story if I already have that story in my mind, if that makes sense. Sure, I can make the songs fit that narrative, but I never would have arrived at that narrative on my own, without first reading that the band was made to worship this deity. And in my mind, if I couldn't arrive at that conclusion naturally, without being led there, then it probably wasn't the conclusion I was meant to arrive at.

For a while, I could vibe with the idea that Sleep was supposed to be a metaphor for a lover, either present or former, and a toxic relationship he was struggling or had struggled with. But as I delved deeper into their catalogue I very much lost the impression that all of these songs were about one singular person, or even that all of the songs were about romantic relationships in general. And as I got more into the fandom and found out that there was more official dialogue from the band than just the "One Single Interview" everyone talked about, I realized that trying to fit the songs to all be about one person or thing would never work, because the songs weren't about Sleep, there were merely gifts to Sleep.

Now, I could have sworn that when I first got into the band’s lore I read on their official website that their songs are offerings to Sleep - not about Sleep, the way everyone seems to interpret them. That no longer appears to be the case. I have this screenshot that I took of part of what I remember reading, but I distinctly recall there being another paragraph or two in addition to what I cropped, and unfortunately my PC doesn’t show me the link the screenshot was taken on, like my phone would. And in re-reading the text in the screenshot, it does seem to be speaking about Sleep Token as a separate entity so I may be entirely misremembering how official of a source it was ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Regardless, I’ve seen multiple articles that word it in this manner, that the songs are for Sleep rather than about Sleep, and nowhere in the official sources I’ve found is it said that the songs are about Sleep, so I’m going to assume I’m right and continue under the assumption I’ve worked under all along: that the songs are not, in fact, about Sleep.

They are, however, for Sleep. This has never been debated. The songs are tokens, or offerings, to Sleep.

So, let me share with you the official communications that developed my theory. In addition to what I've commonly seen referred to as their "only interview" before II's drumeo video, I've found (poor quality) scans of two magazine spreads, one from Kerrang! and another I'm unsure of the source of, both featuring Jaws. I read most of these after having watched videos of rituals and reading transcripts of the conversation between Vessel and, presumably, his mask, that took place on last year's tour, as well as the monologue from The Room Below. I started to notice a common theme between that more recent conversation and these much earlier interviews, that for some reason surprised me: Vessel had wanted the fans to project onto the music all along.

Noteworthy quotes from the linked sources, in roughly chronological order:

“Our verses are a token, crafted to magnify and embody the multitude of emotion that writhes in our subconscious. Sonically our voice is rooted in the resonation between the notes and your emotion.”

“As musicians we are inspired by the human condition [...]. As followers we are bound by a duty to combine our crafts to create music that conveys some of our most primal, and powerful emotions.”

“We are here to deliver a message; touch people in their hearts and subconscious minds.”

“There exists a considerable body of art that explores the deeper recesses of the human mind. Sleep Token serve as a means to explore this on an individual basis. The music is a representation of one individual’s deepest and most fundamental emotions and desires. This is what people connect to. They see themselves in this individual, and the music becomes about them.”

“The aim is to provide something people can engage with without being obstructed by the identity of its creator.”

“The ultimate goal is to engender a constructive emotional process within as many people as possible. Simply the basic concept of understanding oneself better, understanding others better as a result.”

“Sleep Token draw from the most profound experiences we have in life and, most crucially, where they intersect. [...] To see this within yourself, and then to see it reflected in others - this is the essence of worship.”

“We all desire to see the darkest, most profound aspects of ourselves reflected in the expressions of others. [...] We’re here to provide this expression, so it may serve as a device with which people might understand themselves better.”

"We are here to silently collect. To project ourselves onto one-another."

"Perhaps that is another reason why we are here. At the very least, we have all suffered."

"I think they just want to know that I am feeling something, feeling what they are feeling, perhaps."

"In order for all of this to work there has to be a certain boundary in place. They need to be able to project themselves onto this without anyone else's identity getting in the way. In turn, I need to be able to show my true self to them in a way that does not compromise their ability to connect."

"They, too, are pained. They, too, do not know who they truly are. They are each stood alone on a stage of their own. And yet, they are here. United by that sense of never truly belonging. They see something beyond their own bleak horizons, and they reach for it. Together. So let us join now, to reflect their joy and to serve as a conduit for their anguish. To swallow their fear."

And finally, from the Fall For Me music video: "So for now let me serve as a living drama of your pain. If we are to be submerged let us be submerged together."

When I place them right next to each other, it's probably easier to see the common theme that I caught onto. I cycled through a few ideas - including Vessel himself being Sleep, or Sleep representing music and the connection it can foster between people - but I kept coming back to the way Vessel has repeatedly talked about fans projecting onto the music, examining themselves through it, understanding themselves through it. Projecting ourselves onto him, seeing ourselves in him, trying to understand ourselves through our interpretations of his story.

He's a Vessel for us. The songs are tokens, offerings, to us. We, the fans, are Sleep. The songs are gifts for us to examine ourselves through, to help us delve into our own experiences and emotional responses and understand ourselves - and, in turn, understand each other. It isn't Vessel that we are worshipping, it's ourselves and each other that we see in Vessel. I could even get really sentimental and cheesy if I wanted and say that Vessel directly worships us as well, albeit wordlessly, with his deep bows and falling to his knees in appreciation of his audience.

And just to reiterate, I don't think the songs are about Sleep. Although I think an argument could possibly be made about the toxic relationship between Vessel and Sleep being a metaphor for the parasocial relationship between an entertainer and their audience, I... won't get into that. Today, at least. Although I think it's a really interesting take that deserves exploration, I don't genuinely think any of the songs are directed toward or written about the fans/audience. I just think he's sharing the story of his life with us and allowing us to project our own lives upon it, to remind us that none of us are alone in this world. None of us are alone in our feelings, or in our experiences, no matter how isolated we may feel in them.

[EDIT: After making this post I found yet another magazine interview, in which Vessel kind of.... confirms this whole theory?

"He is everyone. He is you. There is a power in music that binds us all, every note relates to another."

The power of music uniting people and allowing us to see ourselves in each other and connect through that was exactly what I had in mind when I formed this theory, so it's kind of validating that I'm interpreting things correctly to see it put so bluntly lol]

If you made it to the end of this, thank you for hearing me out! \owo/ I had been wanting to make a post about this for a while as it seemed a very clear-cut take to me that I didn't think would be controversial. Speaking with the person I mentioned at the beginning who had a similar theory kind of scared me off it, since they said they received some outright hate for it, but talking to them also really got me excited to dig into my theory and provide my sources and show everyone the breadcrumb trail of how I arrived at this conclusion. So I hope at least a couple people enjoyed it!

If this is received well maybe I'll be brave enough to actually post about some of my song interpretations ^^; As I said, I don't think they're all about any one thing. My favorite quote from the ones listed above is this one: "Sleep Token draw from the most profound experiences we have in life and, most crucially, where they intersect." The intersectionality of it all is what's most interesting to me, so that quote was a little bit vindicating to read, lol. It's not all about romantic relationships, to me. It's about how every experience we go through in life, how we feel about them, how we react to them - all of those experiences overlap and intersect and color each other. It's about how everything you've ever been through will affect everything else you ever go through. But now I am genuinely rambling ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thank you again for reading, and feel free to slide into my DMs to talk about this god-given band whensoever you wish.

[villafordefeatedvillains]

thinking about how the fnaf movie version of william afton is like. so much more interesting and horrifying as a villain than the game version. rambling under the cut because it's long. fair warning most of this is ripped from discord dms with my boyfriend

movie!william, until i've seen evidence suggesting otherwise, isn't a mad scientist like in the games. he didn't set out to discover immortality. from what we've seen, he's just a serial killer, plain and simple. he's shown to take and kill kids in the open *just because he can*. he takes garrett in a crowded campground with his family and brother not that far away, far enough that mike is able to see garrett get taken and torment himself with it for years. in the opening credits he takes the kids one by one *in front of the others*. he views it as a game, it seems, down to the opening credits being a colorful arcade-game styled sequence. like, yes, there's pixelated minigames in the core game series, but they're usually more sombre and melancholy, not as bright and full of energy as the credits sequence. and that being how william saw what he did does make sense! he outright says he couldn't bear to let freddy's go! he could've destroyed the evidence but kept it because he got a sick thrill knowing nobody'd catch him. vanessa outright says he hid the bodies where nobody'd look, implying that either she saw it happen or that he *boasted to her about it* which. both are likely considering how he has that photo with garrett's plane *and* how he brags to mike about killing garrett. freddy's is one big sick prize to him, a trophy for how "clever" he was to "win the game". and his last words being "i always come back" just. makes this stronger in my mind. i don't think he would've needed to be experimenting with remnant like in the games to say this, because like. he's been back, we know he hires guards because he likes having freddy's claim more victims. he KNOWS that the kids control the suits they died in, so of course he'd assume he would too. and also. the *metaphorical* implications. he will always come back *in his surviving victim's minds*. mike, abby and vanessa could kill him, burn him, bury him for good, but the effects of his actions will never leave them. in a very real sense he will always come back to haunt them. also him always coming back to the scene of his crimes but like. the implications that he knows how bad he's fucked them up and that defiant shout being about how they will never be able to forget him. yeah. tldr i think william afton is a way scarier and more interesting villain if he's just a sick twisted serial killer who views what he does as a game rather than being some immortality obsessed scientist. thank you for reading :3

[sis-goleona]

Finding out you are pregnant

Title: Finding out you are pregnant

Pairing: Cat King x F! reader

TW: Pregnancy. If you do not want to read about pregnancy this is not the story for you! I will be back posting a different story about our cat king.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

-when he found out you were pregnant, he was NOT surprised. I mean can you blame him….I think we all know why he was not surprised. 

As you lay there, sick from nausea, you thought about how you would tell him. The king never really mentioned wanting a family, he didn’t really strike you as a family guy. Nevertheless, here you were, lying in a fetal position, clutching your stomach in a fruitless attempt to soothe the nausea. Soon enough, you heard the familiar sounds of cats meowing, and boots sticking to the floor. Thomas waltzed in, arms outstretched in a ‘honey I'm home’ fashion, that iconic smirk plastered on his feline features. His eyes scanned your body; Taking in your fetal position, it had become quite familiar to him; You not feeling good. You have been like this for a week already. Waking up and puking what you had eaten the night prior, a headache very prominent.  He had just assumed that this was a normal, human thing; Getting sick. He never got sick. “Still sick, love?” The king whispered, running his fingers across your forehead, then dragging a few stray hairs from your face. You nodded meekly, knowing that sooner or later you would have to tell him the one hundred percent absolute truth. Uncertainty scared you a lot more than you had previously thought, but now you were staring down the metaphorical barrel of a gun. All this thinking was enough to make you puke, the familiar acidity of bile bubbles in the back of your throat, threatening to spill out past your gritted teeth. You shot up, running to the bathroom, splurging all the contents of your stomach into the toilet. You stayed like that for a few minutes, your arms shaking trying to hold your weight over the bowl, still heaving yet there was nothing left in your body. Sweat dripped from your forehead and mouth to the rim, it dribbled down your neck. You felt in all sense of the word; ugly. Fingers gently pulled your hair back and away from your face, startling you from the black hole of self-depreciation. A cold wet towel was placed on your sweaty neck, the rough texture caressing your now goosebumped skin. “Thomas” you whispered, before you even thought about it, his name tumbled out of your quivering lips. He would find out eventually, you thought to yourself. You couldn’t hide from it much longer. “Yes? Darling” that voice, saturated in pure adoration, flowed through your ears and your trembling heart. Would it be best for him to find out like this? All the videos you had seen online were hardly, this unprepared. The woman had made a basket or a gift for her husband, or some silly prank with a happy ending. This was nothing like that, it was unexpected, and there was so much to be afraid of. “I’m pregnant” and there it was. The truth, unadulterated truth. Straight from your mouth, surely caught by his undivided attention. A chuckle slipped out past his lips. What? He’s laughing? You couldn’t find the joke in any of this. He was supposed to get angry and yell at you for being so stupid and careless. A hand lifted your head by your chin, weary eyes meeting bright yellow ones. He brought the wet towel; now folded, up to your lips and gently wiped away the residual bile. It was so gentle you could barely feel it. “Figures” was all he said, that smirk never leaving his face. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I personally have been craving a paternal Cat King.

"mwah mwah mwah" - Tobias Forge

[frankenfossil]

Oh! I nearly forgot, but can I ask the significance of this panel?

It comes directly after Dee explains that he can’t come and see her from the future whenever he wants. (Which is one of my favorite moments where Dee’s true eldritch horror leaks in to the story), so I assume it’s… sort of a metaphor? How Emily finds herself at the foot of something she realizes is much, much bigger than she contemplated before?

(Also, I just wanted to compliment you for this panel)

(The first time I saw it, I imagined Dee was showing her this on purpose, time traveling from sometime the same day to really show her what it would be like. An object lesson.

The second time I saw it, I started to wonder

Because Dee himself doesn’t really look aware of what is going on behind him.

And maybe, just maybe, this one moment in time has become the only moment that Dee allows himself to come back to to see Emily, the one moment where he can get lost in the crowd with every other time he came back to look. The one moment where he’s explaining why he can’t come back.

Just… Makes me sad, and I wanted to say thank you for that too, because I love these characters and the story they tell, the sweet and bitter.)

Oh!!!

(Quick test of my ability to find which chapter stuff happens in)

I love your reading of that Uluru panel!! I think I probably didn’t intend anything that deep with it; these time skip montage style chapters are pretty choppy and I’m usually trying to figure out a way to touch on all these brief scenes or moments that I don’t want to spend a whole chapter on for whatever reason, and arrange them in a way where the cuts aren’t too hideously abrupt. For visual reasons I try to contrast different locations and not put 2 dialogue heavy moments directly next to each other. Mood wise, I don’t really want to cut from something serious and angsty to something that’s a complete backflip on that. I also sometimes just feel like drawing a nice landscape and hope it achieves my aims on these fronts haha.

I think also here I was trying to move from that final sentence, “The present is more than enough”, to demonstrating them appreciating having that present together - being able to go do cool and enriching stuff, something not completely mundane but not completely fantastical either. (I mean... sightseeing within your own country is extremely normal, but going to Uluru from Melbourne... not a convenient day trip, since it’s 2000km; 25 hour solid driving, or you can fly in a few hours but I think you have to go via Sydney, so that makes it take at least twice as long I guess. Not that it's specified how long they're there for. I haven’t been myself but I’d love to one day...)

So, yeah!! More of a mechanical/compositional rationale than an intentional metaphor, but I think your reading makes complete sense and actually improves the page! (Sometimes I do intend visual metaphors... but sometimes they’re just happy accidents.)

And thanks for the compliment re the crowd of Dees!! I also love the moments I can lean into his eldritch qualities... they’re sadly few and far between but maybe that helps them be more surprising?? Definitely your first reading was what I intended, that he zigzagged back pretty quickly, probably even from within the conversation, but there is an inherent ambiguity to Dee’s time travelling where unless I take pains to spell it out, there really is no way to know when he’s come from. Even if he can be assumed to be taking every interaction chronologically, there’s no knowing how much time has passed for him between each visit. I don’t even know how to estimate how long his experience of time is, when he’s zigzagging back so densely all the time; even the number of living things on Earth any moment is an incomprehensibly mind-boggling number. That eldritch horror again!

Truth be told I hadn’t thought of him coming back to this moment and blending in with the crowd for the rest of the future ;_; but that’s so real... he could well be, the sad sack...

I had a different sillier thought from slightly misreading your question on first pass, which is that maybe he doesn’t originally know what’s going on behind him, but then later on as he’s just going about his business he goes “oh I know exactly how to punctuate that thing I said earlier!!!” and then does it as an afterthought. Oh to have the ability to add the things you wish you’d said to an earlier conversation 😂

[serial-serializednovelreader]

Do you think a Dracula MBS AU would work? If so, in what way? Hope you are doing well!!!

Sophie, I love this question!! It’s actually something I have thought of, but wasn’t sure if I wanted to make into a post on its own. And I’m doing well, hope you are too :DDDD

Yes, Dracula MBS AU could be a thing, but I would definitely need to make a few tweaks. Us Dracula book fans aren’t a huge fan of “tweaks” for…certain reasons (*side eyes adaptations*), but this one would still be faithful to the spirit of the book. :)

Note: Heavy spoilers for Dracula, and the Mysterious Benedict Society. Also, I’m basing this AU on the MBS books, not the series (Curtain is not really redeemable in this one, though he is the gremlin man you know and enjoy!). As a disclaimer, all of the MBS characters that are kids are adults in this AU — in their 20s to be precise. Everyone else retains their original ages (except for the one who is playing Dracula, of course).

Jonathan Harker -> Reynie Muldoon

You know I had to start off with my one of my favorite blorbos and honestly, this just works. These two characters are a lot alike, more than you might assume. Both are considered “average” by others, and are constantly underestimated, which they shake off in different ways (Reynie with his abilities, Jonathan through the power of Tumblr’s book club). They have a kind heart and love helping others. They are meticulous and can be bold when needed, sometimes using clever words to talk themselves out of a situation (Jonathan several times in Dracula’s castle, Reynie when Curtain catches him looking at the Executive’s list). Jonathan and Reynie are also leadership material, though you probably wouldn’t think it by looking at them.

Mina Murray -> Kate Wetherall

Yeah, so those who know I ship these Reynie and Kate may have expected this one. I can’t help it! Still, I think these two work as well. Mina is very much an extrovert and will talk to everyone she meets, just like Kate. Mina may not carry a bucket, but she does carry her journals and writing around with her! Kate and Mina are both silly at times, adding their own personal flair to situations. I would see Kate embodying Mina’s bolder side and being excited about journalism for the chance to meet people. She is fine with studying and typing (especially to help/bond with Reynie), but it’s not her favorite thing, if that makes sense. Or, alternatively, she could have more of Mina’s affinity for typing and thoroughly love it! Up to you. Those who have read Dracula all the way through also know that Mina and Kate are also alike in their need to be *in the action*, not sidelined. And they’re absolutely correct.

Dracula -> Ledroptha Curtain

Yeah, this one is pretty obvious. Both are cackling villains, both like their cat-and-mouse games: it just fits! Plus, if you compare Curtain’s weird lecture/manipulative speeches to Reynie in the first book to Dracula’s speeches to Jonathan…it’s almost uncanny how similar they are!!! Dracula and Curtain honestly use a lot of the same tactics to draw their victims in (making them feel special/isolated, puffing his own ego, etc.).

Renfield -> Crawlings

I’ll be honest, Crawlings is my favorite Ten Man and I can just see him as Renfield. He’s soooooo weird and I love him for it!!! Bro has one eyebrow and was constantly being quirky. Can I see this man eating a fly and being locked in an asylum in 1800s England? Yes, yes I can. Plus, his name is Crawlings and he follows Curtain. ‘Nuff said.

Van Helsing -> Nicholas Benedict

You probably also saw this one coming after I paired Dracula with Curtain. This Dracula AU fits a lot better than one first assumes and here is another example. Van Helsing in the novel is very much a quirky professor, befuddling his former student (Seward) with his metaphors and laughing far too much to be in the horror novel Dracula, let’s be honest. In the same way, Nicholas Benedict is a jovial, unassuming man, who one wouldn’t think to be a genius instrumental to saving the world, yet he’s in the very name of the book series! In the same way, Van Helsing has garnered a name for himself that has far outlived his first appearance in the novel: as much as Dracula lives on in the public sphere, Van Helsing is right beside him. I think this fits Nicholas to a tee. Plus, Nicholas and Van Helsing are capable of great seriousness and emotional depth when the situation calls for it.

Aaaaaaand this is where things get switched around. I’m going to list the characters first, then describe how exactly their arcs would be changed, but I want to make it clear that this Suitor Squad would not be a Suitor Squad anymore in my AU. I do not ship these characters!!!!! Just want to make that clear upfront.

Lucy Westerna -> Constance Contraire

This one is a bit of a stretch personality-wise, but it’s the clearest fit in terms of leading/supporting characters. Lucy is obviously a very sweet person and Constance is…well…the society says it best: “Constance is Constance”. However, in RoA, we do get a glimpse of a sweeter Constance and I do believe this is how Constance will be once she matures: still her feisty self, just able to let her empathetic side show more. And really, that’s who Lucy is. She has a defiant and bold streak within her: this is just held back by the confines of Victorian society (though not in the way adaptations want to portray her — I just mean she could be more sassy if she wanted to). Whether Constance adapts more of Lucy’s bubbly and sweet personality or retains her sassy and grumpy self is up to you. Either way, her and Kate (Mina) would definitely still be best friends and have a similar relationship they have in MBS, perhaps with a dash of maturity (LOL). Lucy/Constance is also the youngest, clocking in at 19, to everyone else’s mid- to late- 20s.

Quincey Morris -> Milligan

You can probably see why I emphasized the importance of not shipping these characters. So yes, Milligan now takes the role of an American cowboy and I think he would adopt this role with gusto! Of course, in this AU he’s never lost his memories so he is his cheerful self. He is a lot like Quincey in being perpetually cheerful, compassionate and a good friend to the rest of the Crew of Light (plus, earnestly cheering them up when needed and kicking Dracula/Curtain’s butt — both of these characters excel at their job). Quincey is known as the oathmaker of Dracula, always keeping the promises he makes. Readers of MBS know that Milligan also takes his promises seriously, so much so that his last promise became his very name (how his name is still Milligan when he didn’t lose his memories doesn’t make sense, but…you know…uh….*magic*). Is he Kate’s father in this AU? Perhaps. 😏 I once commented to @nobodysdaydreams that these two would be father/daughter in every universe, so I think even if they’re not biologically related, they would certainly fit that dynamic and adopt each other as such.

Jack Seward -> George “Sticky” Washington

Seward is definitely on the darker side of what Sticky is capable of, but I don’t think this is out of the realm of possibilities for Sticky. I honestly think he could’ve become something like this, had he not been exposed to Mr. Benedict and his friends at a young age. Not that Sticky is “bad” or “evil” in this AU — Jack isn’t either!!!!!! I would just say he has bad coping mechanisms and needs therapy for depression…so just hand that over to Sticky without the strongest support system and I think these two meld together well.

Arthur Holmwood -> SQ Pedalian

For all my SQ lovers, this one’s for you!!! SQ and Arthur are both sweet guys who really shouldn’t be in traumatic situations, but, unfortunately, are. Fun to be around and a beacon of light to those they meet, SQ and Arthur always try to make the best of a bad situation! I think SQ would fit right into Arthur’s role, though it won’t be easy for him as the book goes along…

Three Vampire Sisters -> Martina, Jillson and Jackson

I believe it makes sense for Curtain’s most trusted executives to also be in his castle as his vampires in this AU. Oh, and Jackson’s here too — for the vibes. :D yes, they do try to “seduce” Reynie. Yes, it is weird (though, as a reminder, minus the vampire thing they’re similar in age — Reynie is in his 20s and the vampire siblings got turned into vampires around the same age). No, I don’t want to dwell on it.

Mr. Hawkins - Miss. Perumal

While it wouldn’t make any sense for Jonathan/Reynie’s boss to be a woman in this time period, I am making Mr. Hawkins Miss Perumal anyway because I do not care. Jonathan basically calls Mr. Hawkins his adopted father and that is what Miss. Perumal is to Reynie. Whether you want to make Miss Perumal a guy or just make Victorian England less sexist in this AU is up to you (I’m rooting for the latter).

Captain of the Demeter -> Captain Noland

I think this one explains itself. Noble captain of The Shortcut becomes the noble (and, unfortunately, doomed) captain of the Demeter. 🫡🫡

First Mate of the Demeter -> McCracken

My choice here might seem strange — and it is — but I honestly think this first mate that gets more and more desperate is better filled by McCracken the Ten Man than anyone else. I truly believe if something supernatural happened to him, he would not believe it and would scoff at anyone who did — until it was too late. Then, he would try to fight the monster (as the First Mate does), and if he had no option left…flee. That’s my interpretation of McCracken’s true character anyways — just give him less weapons and less self-confidence. Plus, I wanted McCracken to be a part of this and had no good place for him (lol). 🤷‍♀️

Second Mate of the Demeter -> Canonball

The bravest “mate” on the crew, I chose Canonball as Second Mate instead of First Mate because he would be exactly the type of man to volunteer to keep watch and let everyone else get some sleep; unfortunately, that kind of selflessness is not rewarded by Dracula. :( RIP Canonball in this AU, you will be missed. 🫡

Mrs. Westerna -> Number Two

I’m envisioning a different kind of relationship than mother/daughter for Lucy/Constance and Mrs. Westerna/Number Two. I’ll explain it more when we get to my “changes”, but suffice it to say, Mrs. Westerna/Number Two is an aunt or mentor figure to Lucy/Constance rather than a biological mother. I picked Number Two for this role because she has Mrs. Westerna’s strict adherence to rules down and an anxious streak, though to a lesser extent of course. These qualities would be dialed up to 11 for the AU.

“Correspondent” -> Rhonda Kazembe

According to a number of posts I’ve seen on here (though I haven’t been able to find anything when I looked it up — doesn’t mean it’s not true, just means my research skills needs work!), Stoker originally envisioned a woman reporter who ended up working with the Crew of Light to take down Dracula. Whether due to time constraints or too many characters to keep track of, he dialed this character back to a “Correspondent” (gender unidentified) who reports on the Demeter’s landing, and what has become of the ship. While we don’t get much from this Correspondent, they show a lot of personality in just two entries: boasting about their running abilities and reporting about villagers wanting to be friends with a dog. I would definitely select Rhonda for this role because, while she may seem quiet and ordinary, she hides a ton of inner personality! I think I would give this Rhonda a little bit of her energy from the show because her actress just did such a good job of embodying her character and giving her an even more distinct personality that I think would go great with the Correspondent. Other than that, I do think she would work with the Crew of Light in this one, as Stoker originally intended, though how much and in what capacity, I’m not sure of.

Mr. Swales -> Risker

I was honestly thinking of picking one of the Ten Men for this one, but I think “kooky old man who you can’t tell what he’s saying half the time” fits Risker perfectly. 😂😂

Now that we have all the chess pieces into place (yes, that was an MBS reference), how do they move around the chessboard? Most Dracula fans by now will probably be shouting at me “But Nova, if there’s no Suitor Squad, how will you fulfill Lucy’s arc?” Well you see, there’s one relationship we need to consider here: that of Van Helsing/Mr. Benedict and Lucy/Constance.

So for those who may not know (on both sides of the fandom), Van Helsing considers Lucy to be his daughter in a sense. In MBS, Mr. Benedict ends up adopting Constance, though this is not an easy process, as her papers are lost to time. I intend to merge these two story arcs.

So to start, Lucy/Constance would be an orphan, not being born from a wealthy family like in the original book. She would meet Jonathan/Reynie and Mina/Kate and they would all be childhood friends, as in the original book, though perhaps Lucy/Constance understands the other two on a deeper level — as they all three know what it’s like to be orphans and to want for friendship and parents.

Somewhere along the way, Van Helsing/Mr. Benedict meets Lucy/Constance (she’s in her teens at this point) and he starts to see her as the daughter he wants to have. Unfortunately in Victorian England, there’s no legal adoption process. So basically, Lucy/Constance can only have the feeling of having a father, no papers to prove it. And just like in the MBS series, this causes her to feel frustrated and insecure (though with a bit more maturely, since she’s older lol). Another issue is that she rarely sees Van Helsing/ Mr. Benedict since he’s working on research in Germany. He doesn’t want to take her with him, since he presumes she should be out living her life and learning how to be a lady (more out of a desire for her to fit in with other girls and make friends than him sticking to the confines of society). Which is why he’s entrusted her with Mrs. Westerna/Number Two, providing her a permanent place to live. We can also work something in there about Milligan/Quincey (a family friend of his) adopting Mina/Kate along the way or them being father/daughter (you could swap Mina and Lucy’s roles here). I personally like the former option, but the latter works as well!

Living with Mrs. Westerna/Number Two is nice, but not what Lucy/Constance wants. She only wants to be with her father :(. At this point, she’s an adult and can make her own choices, so she asks her father if she can go on a trip with him. Surprisingly, he says yes!

Rather than the three iconic proposals here, I envision Lucy/Constance telling her three family friends (because Van Helsing has a LOT of those) about her impending trip instead, which they all take in different ways. Seward/Sticky does not take this well. Van Helsing is kind of a father figure to him as well and having him be away has been difficult for him to handle. Now, hearing that he’s going to “lose” someone he considers to be his sister as well is just too overwhelming for him to hear. He accepts it, but doesn’t like it. Milligan/Quincey is excited for her, but sad to see her go. He feels a “loss” as well, since he considers Lucy/Constance to be his daughter, though he’s never said it. Arthur/SQ is the only one truly excited for her, giving her travel tips, as he’s traveled himself and wants her to have only the best experience. It may not be as dramatic or exciting as proposals, but I do think this works with hitting similar emotions from the three men (grief, bittersweet, and joy).

Then we come to the sad part of our story. Lucy/Constance begins experiencing symptoms of a vampire bite and while Sticky/Seward tries to care for her himself, his last resort is to call in Van Helsing/Mr. Benedict (which he doesn’t want to do, because he doesn’t want him to see her like this and it feels too much like the end…). When Van Helsing/Mr. Benedict arrives, he understands very clearly what is going on, and it pains him to see his daughter in this condition. However, for her sake, he keeps to his jovial self (and he retains his narcolepsy, so you can play a lot with him trying not to give in to this emotional turmoil).

At first, it seems like things are working in their favor: they put up garlic and it seems to keep the evil bat away. Unfortunately, Mrs. Westerna/Number Two doesn’t get the memo and takes the garlic down, leaving poor Lucy/Constance exposed. That’s when the bad turns to the worse.

If you want maximum angst here, you can go with the canon ending…which is that Lucy/Constance dies. And if you thought Van Helsing’s reaction to Lucy’s death was bad (which is a full on mental breakdown, by the way), this is oh-so much worse. Van Helsing/Mr. Benedict is inconsolable. He won’t talk to anyone. He keeps waking up and passing out for a full day, he is SO full of emotion. He mourns that he was never able to take her on a trip or able to legally adopt her. Not to mention, Dracula/Curtain took Mrs. Westerna/Number Two from him too, so he’s mourning THAT death as well. So yeah, needless to say, he’s not in a good place. And he’s determined to avenge the people he’s lost at any price. Also, he would have to be the one to stake Lucy/Constance when she eventually turns into the Bloofer Lady (which he would be in denial about at first, though he would see all the signs). Because I need this to be more heartbreaking, apparently. By the end of this AU, him and Jonathan/Reynie are very much silently sharpening a knife, waiting for their moment to strike at Dracula/Curtain (who looks eerily similar to Van Helsing/Mr. Benedict, that’s strange…).

Since MBS is included in this, though, I don’t know if this would be what happens. I kind of believe Lucy/Constance would make it through in this AU. So either Mrs. Westerna/Number Two actually listens to Van Helsing/Mr. Benedict (which is likely, let’s be honest) or they’re able to save her in some other way. Bottom line: Lucy/Constance makes it, and she’s infinitely grateful! Van Helsing/Mr. Benedict vows to take her on a trip very soon and makes her a little adoption certificate thing. It’s not real, but to them it is! On the inside, however, Van Helsing/Mr. Benedict is very angry at Dracula/Curtain for almost killing his daughter and that’s not something he takes lightly…

So yeah, those are my ideas for a Dracula MBS AU. Hope you like it! :D

[kustas]

Sorry for the incoming long rant.

I just rediscovered your blog, and I always enjoyed your thoughts on WHA and wanted to rant a little bit. I found a post of yours talking about how WHA is getting less nuanced and I feel the same way. I feel like in an effort to make every character feel like a person, the manga treats everyone’s issues as if they’re on the same level. I’m not sure if that entirely makes sense, but it feels like the manga is trying to make you sympathize with everyone to some extent, even though that doesn’t really work. For example, there is a chapter that pissed me off so much that I had to put the manga on pause. It’s the chapter where Coco shows off a spell that can clean water, and the townspeople are uninterested because they don’t need it. And the moral of the chapter is that Coco should make her spell for everyone. No. No no no. These people need to learn some damn compassion and realize that they need to help end what suffering that they are able to. The moral of the chapter should’ve been that these people need to stop thinking of only themselves. Everything else was aimed at them, so Coco’s spell didn’t need to be for them. It shouldn’t have been for them. There is also the situation with the knights. You went into this already but who gives a shit if they are offended by a grieving husband taking out his anger in them when they are a part of the system that caused his grief. The manga wants you to sympathize with everyone, and while I don’t think these people should be one dimensional their issues should not be treated on the same level as others. Anyway, sorry for the weird long rant, it’s just everyone treats this manga like it is The Most Flawlessly Progressive Manga Ever and your one of the few I’ve found who acknowledges is flaws without devaluing its strengths

Thank you for your ask! I agree with what you're saying and think you worded it very well. It's a bit of a shame it's so rare to find people openly critiquing the series in the community, while it's nothing serious (and minimized by being a bit of a hermit, lol) I've seen some animosity for doing it, I assume because many assume critiquing art means you don't like it or are opposed to what it's trying to do! Which isn't true. Granted Witch Hat Atelier contains many an obvious fantasy metaphor for real life social issues it should be under more scrutiny than normal if you ask me, because those are serious topics that affect people's real lives. I do have faith in the author's serious handling of touchy topics, but in the execution there are things I'd do differently for sure...

The manga wants you to sympathize with everyone, and while I don’t think these people should be one dimensional their issues should not be treated on the same level as others.

WHA has in its writing strong expectations from the reader regarding how you think of its cast I find hard to read through a lot - the latest arc in particular, comparatively, has much of its character based moments revolve around if they're good or bad in a way that implies it'll change how you think of a character and it disturbs me. Qifrey and Sasaran are two early examples of characters that do *not* play into that - Qifrey's beginning arcs simultaneously show him as a shady manipulator and genuinely good teacher who betters the life of his students, and it participates so much to the dramatic tension. Sasaran is a villain of the week who while shown to be a huge cunt, has a backstory that implies his original motives were not nefarious ones, and his life was not easy.

Compare this to a character like Dean who, as much as I'm a fan of his concept, falls rather flat because he's, depending on the chapter, pushed as good/bad to the reader, regarding his moral alignment. Characters who are just meant to be despicable don't have the same level of attention placed to their writing which is a similar issue. It feels insecure, like if the story was saying: we have those important characters, their role is to bring up difficult situations, please don't hate them, like them, see, they're nice too! And giving them chosen positive traits. People don't work like that and it feels cheap. Fandom's obsession with villains should show well a character being despicable doesn't make them unlikeable, and I'd like WHA's characters to be less "good"/"likeable" myself to make them a bit more human. This would detonate a fandom nuke given I still regularly see passionate debates about how mean and terrible characters like Agott or Custas are but hey

As for priorities in the depicted suffering of characters in universe - yeah, it's true some scenes feel a bit off in that department...the water cleaning scene you mention did not rub me the wrong way too hard, because it's centered around Coco, who's our main character, the story bending to give her a central role makes sense, and her unique position in witch society and how it relates to helping others are, with the responsibilities of witches, very important to the story. The apprentice backstories are an earlier example I had trouble taking too seriously because while they're all terrible, tiny silly Riche and her brother's experience with physical child abuse felt drawn with the same intensity as Agott being pushed to mental disarray by her rich fancy perfectionist family. It's all hard to complain about and might sting less if the writing was a bit less dramatic and preachy, but that might just be a me issue, I've seen many fans praise WHA's writing wholeheartedly, so...

What I am hoping is that the latest arc will conclude and lead to the shorter previous structure and we'll get individual attention brought to character stories, one after the other, instead of the all at once formula going on right now... We'll see!

[lxmelle]

The subconscious, the soul, and the body...

It’s an understatement to say that the links and concepts between these are complicated / complex within the jjk world.

I’m just going to write about what I understand so far, and if anyone else has theories or a deeper understanding of it, please drop me a comment or reblog with your own thoughts. I’m open to discourse!

The rest is just largely focused on Gojo and Geto - exploring how their subconscious, soul and body may have been affected by their relationship.

What was meant to be short has gone into theorising territory as I attempt to make sense of things. I am Satosugu / SuguSato indulgent.

(Ps: I don’t discriminate over who tops/bottoms or if they even do it at all. Soulmates don’t necessarily need to copulate as far as I'm concerned).

Be warned and afraid.

It’s a real whopper of an essay by the way. If that’s not your thing, please just skim or pass - or stay for the parts you want to read and do it in multiple sittings if it gets too much.

Can you imagine what it’s like living in my brain? Ha! It’s too much for me too, hence, the info dump.

Sharing here, as I think some people enjoy reading about them too.

NOT spoiler-free. More under the cut (o^^o)

In my brainrot, the cogs start turning and sometimes 2 becomes what looks like 4 and I just have to get it out - you know the drill. Word vomit. If you’ve clicked, welcome and I hope you enjoy your stay with my obsessive brainrot, tangents, love for Gojo and Geto.

A bit on the Soul, the Body, Sub/Consciousness, and Cursed Techniques - skip this part if it’s boring:

So, based on what we have been told, Mahito believes he can see the soul, and that the body & soul are separate. For humans, souls can linger after death but upon rebirth, curses and humans alike will not know one another nor will they retain memories.

“Lingering after death” might be relevant to “north and south” too, but we don’t know with certainty what the afterlife in jjk looks like. North seems to mean rebirth - to become “someone new” - that is assuming Mei Mei is right.

Being sealed in an object (like Sukuna) is different to being in another body (Kenjaku and Tengen), and being in a binding vow/curse also changes depending on the nature of the contract, and being reborn is largely different to the rest because it seems to denote that the soul resets its memories at the very least.

Worth noting that I’m not clear on whether the spirit is different to the soul as well. They could be synonymous to some degree, but I think a spirit has the essence of a soul (indicating consciousness), and I define something with a soul to be at least a creature (with a physical body) or entity (metaphorical form).

In Toji’s resurrection case, his body is so strong from Heavenly Restriction, that it overpowers the soul of the host - Toji thus kills granny. His soul information wasn’t brought back, but some information must’ve been carved into it for it to retain… something. This something included parts where his body recognised Megumi as someone significant enough and attacked itself. (One has to ask if this is a parallel with Geto in no less than fewer than 10 chapters earlier, where his hand moved - more on this later.) Based on this, the body is separate to the soul but information can be written into it. And like the soul, a body can also be brought back through cursed technique.

OR, another interpretation is like as Kenjaku hypothesised - the body and soul are one. And if granny’s cursed technique is just summoning information, and when the soul and body are very linked like in Toji’s case, they both manifest - as in the body is so strong it pulls his soul along with it. I’m speculating. It could equally be soul information carved into the body (I’m leaning more to this interpretation).

Where curse techniques are concerned… For Yaga, he can extract the soul from the body - insinuating they are also not one and the same. And it’s not just information because the soul exists within what becomes a special grade cursed object. Multiple souls in panda’s case.

And cursed techniques themselves seem to be bound to the body for some - as in Geto’s case where Kenjaku can utilise his as well as his own techniques (along with those of his previous vessels)... however, with Sukuna and his vessels? Soul. Yuta with his copy technique - these are existing without the body or soul as this is his curse technique I guess. Reincarnated sorcerers bring their skills along with their souls too. And domains are supposedly tied to the soul. Geto was not shown to have one (but jjk 0 was created at a time where domains never existed) and if he did, Kenjaku did not have access to to it, unless the theory that the Womb Profusion is real.

Yuji could meet with Megumi's soul buried deep in his own body shared with Sukuna, that was now sunken in due to the bath of evil and killing of his sister. He also has the ability to shake a person's soul through his punches. So the soul seems to be something that can reside within a vessel and be touched through powers / ability.

Gojo was shown to be able to “see” something akin to Megumi’s soul, but this wasn’t depicted for when he saw pseudoGeto, despite the light novel saying he was constantly “staring at the shape of his soul” as he flew off on his pelican spirit. His physicality (six eyes) all but confirmed it was Geto. It was his soul that said otherwise - and it was enough to refute his six eyes. And Kenjaku believes the body & soul are one and the same, thus, confirming Gojo’s six eyes.

Or maybe Gojo can’t quite see souls? We haven’t been explicitly told. Did he see souls everywhere in that case? A part of me suspects Gege retconned this “seeing of the soul” for his fight with Sukuna, but I might be wrong. We saw the same blurry image as a representation of the soul with his six eyes, but this theory doesn’t hold up when we consider how he met with Geto at the airport.

The afterlife scene in ch236 shows their souls / consciousness somewhere at an airport (it is not known if they are merely greeting Gojo or have been there awaiting his arrival). This shows us also that they are separate. The soul has gone somewhere: Cursed realm or an Afterlife are the possibilities presented to us... because they haven’t reincarnated. Going nowhere doesn’t seem likely in the jjk world as they talk incessantly about souls and how they can be resurrected in one form or another.

For the sorcerer Geto fought with his Shiba doggy in HI - it was a fantasy of sorts - and is similar to the space between “curse and reality” that Kenjaku talked about with Sasaki. So it could be a cursed realm. And then Gojo smirking when Sukuna was giving his after-battle “send off”… did that indicate the body and soul could be one & the same? Is the afterlife a fantasy? It was a death dream? (Ah, idk how I feel about this, but again, the jjk world believes in souls).

It is so confusing. I know Gege likes the whole “there is no ultimate truth” but making this topic “up to individual interpretation” is really mind-boggling.

But Mahito and Kenjaku end up agreeing that they must be different based on technique. Maybe this is Gege’s retcon lol. Like how he created limitless and then got some people with the knowledge of physics to explain it retroactively?

I guess the manga readers needed a bit more real-world explanation once it got traction, which is understandable. But equally, some things may just need to exist as they are in fiction and unexplainable based on earthly morals or boundaries by the laws of physics and biology as we understand it.

It is possible that it’s just all dependent on curse technique, which makes Yuta’s copy possible without the body, the creation of Sukuna fingers allowing the transcendence of skills and soul without the body, Kenjaku to access soul-information (like memories) without the brain (as well as utilise the cursed technique), and for exceptions to occur, like Megumi and Yuji both accommodating the soul of another entity in their body. How some entities (sorcerer and cursed spirit alike) can touch souls - or even for cursed spirits to take on more human-like existences - implying they, too, can evolve and become a soul. Like humans evolving to become sorcerers (if they can).

And with a technique like cursed spirit manipulation, once a human’s soul is unable to exist in its physical body, the person will die unless they are like tengen with a curse technique that allows its soul to be removed - as as its form weakens… what happens to the soul if a creature / entity / being becomes more spirit than a human, where someone like Geto / pseudoGeto / Kenjaku can absorb it? I suspect they are exorcised, and they live as Pokémon-like shikigami spirits that have no soul?

We know those like Naoya can become cursed spirits, and Rika’s soul can ascend into somewhere leaving a shikigami spirit behind, so this tells us there are various levels of existence and consciousness - like a hierarchy of sorts with the soul being the most pure / transcendent. It makes sense based on my Buddhist understanding too, but who knows what exists in the jjk world. I’m just trying to make sense of it all...

And of course as I write this, ch.257 just dropped and Kenjaku bloody managed to create Yuji in a completely different era after somehow accurately discovering the reincarnated soul of Sukuna’s twin that was absorbed by him in the womb?!? 🤯 Gets pregnant as Kaori and manages to birth Yuji who could have been by luck or by design, inherited his father’s old soul’s Cursed Technique? So since Cursed Technique can manifest despite completely different DNA, it’s possible for one to assume that the Cursed Technique may be bound to the soul rather than the body… or at least for Kenjaku’s technique, he can create it within the body. or the soul?

What. The. Actual. Heck. And what happened to papa Yuji?

My brain starts to go bananas.

So souls can be split into twins if the egg splits into two (Maki & Mai and Sukuna & his twin (reincarnated into papa Yuji), and can reincarnate. But are considered one. But one can reincarnate separately. 🤯

And on reincarnation: Was the previous six eyes & limitless user Gojo before reincarnation, and does that mean that there won’t be another six eyes + limitless user since Gojo chose to go South? Especially since only one can exist in the world at any given time. Did Mai's spirit join up with Maki, or did she reincarnate?

It would make sense if the series is leading us to a conclusion whereby there is a new world where sorcerers don't exist anymore and all these OP beings like Sukuna, Kenjaku, and skills like the six eyes and limitless, cursed spirit manipulation, cursed speech, or copy aren't being reincarnated in the jjk world as it is now - by choice of the users. If Gojo and others all decide to stay in wherever they wish in the afterlife (pockets of reality wherever they may be), then the human world and the sorcerer world and the cursed spirit world will all exist separately.

But I honestly don't know if that's a good ending. It wouldn't make for very good storytelling? And all it would take was for a soul to get bored and wish to be reincarnated. So too many loopholes.

I mean, I could go deeper into speculating, but I really just wanna focus on the impact on Gojo and Geto for now...

More within the Satosugu / Sugusato context. Read here for it, or skip if it’s boring:

It seems romantic for those who have enjoyed the meme... “would we know each other in another life?”

Especially if these two were made to be counterparts. Anyway, moving on to what we see in the jjk world.

Those who like this pairing probably know these scenes:

Take it how you will. It’s rather evocative and indicative of a strong bond. If you’ve read some of my other analyses, you’ll know I feel that in the jjk world: To love is to recognise / know the other, even if they presented themselves differently. To love is to long for them, and to yield - something - whether it is a power or a sacrifice, for another.

Love shapes and forms a reason. Meaning. Purpose. It does something to the subconscious. It affects and alters a person and their soul. And even without the subconscious or the soul, one’s body can react.

Some of this will be my personal interpretation but it remains canon that Gojo’s soul recognised it wasn’t Geto with Kenjaku inhabiting him. Gojo didn’t want to kill Geto but he did in the end partly because Geto wanted him to. Maybe a part of him always wanted Gojo to, which is why it/he was a curse only Gojo could bear - the responsibility to kill him was always Gojo’s.

Gojo always had Geto in the palm of his hand. Neither acted to tip the strange unspoken balance they had where no lines were crossed until Geto declared war. Geto didn’t want to pull Gojo into his broken-down world in an attempt to attack the roots of the problems in the curse-filled world. Gojo attempted to reform the jujutsu world for a long time whilst holding it up within the institution as he knew it, hoping to make room for Geto should he wish to be saved. Yeah we know he really didn’t want saving in that way... he was too busy trying to save the ones he deemed worthy by eradicating the sinners, evolve those with potential and annihilate the weak. If he was weak he deserved to be killed.

Both longed for the other but could never quite be honest with one another. I headcanon that the words, “if I could be you” were thought about more than once by each of them. That’s why Geto said it and tried to be strong, and Gojo wanted to reform the world through eduction. They swapped fortes because they lost the other on the paths they walked on. They needed each other but fate had a different plan.

They didn’t know how to bridge the gap that had formed between them until many years later. Ultimately, despite their differences, they shared the same ideals and were designed to be counterparts. There was always a space for the other in their hearts.

In those two scenes, I wondered for a while: what was Gege’s point of depicting Gojo switching back to “ore” (in reference to himself - a nuance that cannot be translated into English from its original context within the Japanese culture) for two brief moments. What does it imply about their connection? How do we understand the levels of their “counterpart-ness”? Soulmatism. Romanticism. Whatever you want to call it.

And even pseudoGeto’s body reacting to Gojo’s voice calling out to Suguru. Nothing much ever came from it, and the conversation Mahito and Kenjaku had about the soul hasn’t been expanded on since (to my knowledge). So what was Gege getting at? What are we meant to understand? Back then, it maybe served as an unresolved issue - that Geto may need to have been rescued if his soul was trapped. But now that we saw him at the airport... we can all collectively breathe a sigh of relief - unless it was just a death dream. Then we can collectively cry.

So let’s go back to their connection. We know that Gojo and Geto were practically bonded and changed by being each others’ “one and only”. However you interpret their love is up to you, but it is undeniable that there is something unique and irreplaceable shared between them.

It was Mimiko and Nanako who recollected that Gojo was Geto’s One and Only 「たった一人の親友」.

This is undeniably canon. Geto mustn’t have mentioned him only once, or at least they learned through observation, that Gojo was important to him despite having his cult family. It’s possible that Geto might not have seen the other cult leaders much, if they were operating from different places. So this precious space was never filled after they “argued”. Geto was probably lonely / alone too after becoming PapaGeto.

And as a parent: you love your kids but they aren’t replacements for your life partner / soulmate. The same can be said for Gojo and his students. Even after death, there is a placeholder for that person. Even between partners, some people are more significant than others.

I wanted to note that this happened after the Toji incident:

Geto is actually holding an eraser, and Shoko, the pencil. It appears switched in the anime. So maybe it is not as important as it could be: by that, I mean, if Geto chose an eraser because he doesn’t like the idea of harming Gojo. So this is my headcannon.

But I theorise that it’s possible. Geto doesn’t like harm to come to those he loves - like arguing. With his cult family, this was one of the philosophies they continued after his death. Geto interpreting the kfc breakup as an “argument” also speaks volumes, imho.

The eraser goes further than the pencil, probably because it is considered less dangerous than a pencil, which Gojo elaborates in the next panels.

We also know that Gojo knows Geto - the ins and outs. He knows what he smells like (residuals, scent or whatever you want to call it) and can predict what he might do based on how well he knows him. This is reciprocal as Geto, too, knows how Gojo thinks. Kenjaku of course exploits this.

It’s not too much of a stretch to think that Gojo has a tendency to let his guard down around Geto. Hence his switching to “ore” 「俺」 and his mask “of proper decorum and speaking politely” slips when he sees pseudoGeto (whom he thinks is Geto momentarily) and also Geto at the airport. He reverts to “boku” after that. (If you’re not already aware, Gojo used “ore” throughout the Hidden Inventory arc but changed to “boku” after Geto left - likely as a result of maturing and adopting his friend’s advice to be more polite.)

For context:

Gege himself says he sometimes switches to usage of “ore” when he is excited - taken from the hared interview with Tite Kubo in the jjk character book.

So it’s really not imagining things when we see Gojo depicted specifically to be reacting like this to Geto alone. It seems like Gege is showing us something about Gojo’s subconscious / psyche. They are largely authentic with each other. There is a cultural difference in Japan about context of the inner (honne) and outer voice (tatemae). “Ore” and “Boku” represent that for Gojo respectively, I gather.

Their friendship, the rupture (and the intermittent anguish over 10 years), and having to kill his best friend - are all precisely why he gets sealed. His subconscious seems to know that Geto wouldn’t hurt him. He also trusts that Geto’s subconscious wouldn’t hurt him either. He believed Geto wouldn’t kill young sorcerers - and true to form, this cost him his life.

So there is trust for the person’s mind, there is knowing/identifying of the soul, there is familiarity of the body…

Which is interesting because all that is there is the body. Geto’s subconscious isn’t there anymore with his brain not physically present in pseudoGeto/Kenjaku’s body - but then his arm reacts to Gojo.

It even continues reacting for some time. Look at those veins along his arm in the panel below:

This is significant in the reciprocal nature of Gojo and Geto - Gojo’s speech changed for a moment and he is hit with all the memories from 3 of the best years of his life - his “3 years of Aoi Haru”/3年の青い春 like being smacked with his own unlimited void. Geto’s body reacts involuntaril and tries to retaliate, (just like Toji did several chapters later to stop himself from hurting Megumi/ending his massacre).

They reached for each other, y’all 😭

Again my brain just goes places, and it made me wonder about the soul & body thing. I hope that Geto’s soul is really at the airport, but that there is information carved into the body (like his memories) - if they’re important enough to become instinctual.

It is also, by extension, then possible that... Kenjaku experiences something outside of just thoughts /memories when inside his host...

Just as we see here - yes he does need to keep an eye on the cube, but his expression / reaction to knowing that the girls’ presence are there... addressing them only after the curses have left, and what he says to them, as well as admitting he doesn’t remember what regret feels like -

…and cue an tighter shot of the prison realm (with Gojo’s eyes in the anime depiction) (and interestingly the back of the realm has stitches like Kenjaku’s forehead).

Gege likes to foreshadow and follow up with something significant. So similarly to the above where he sees the girls and acts like he doesn’t give a toss, but is depicted to seem contrary to what he says. Could it also be that it Gojo’s eyes staring that incited the involuntary movement, and the reemphasis of Kenjaku saying he was enjoying the view of seeing Gojo captured - a similar pattern? This old man is just a brain who forgot how to feel?

It begs the question for me: If there was something imprinted within the body that Gojo could call out, what was there?

It remains possible that Kenjaku was simply detached / in denial / ignoring any emotion that arose within from Geto’s body.

Arguably, it is possibly quite characteristic of Kenjaku who was a “mother” and had some motherly instincts remaining, or it could also be seen as an emergence of some sympathy or sadness for the girls that may have come from Geto’s body. I mean, he led Yuji’s friend (Sasaki) out of the culling games, acting like a parent / guardian...

Hmm…

We do not see a physical reaction to any children though; and I guess a situation like that (with the Hasaba girls) in comparison to one that may be filled with adrenaline like a trapped Gojo speaking in that low baritone to him, is inherently different. But regret though? Was it actually a knowing smirk Gege showed us of Kenjaku in front of the prison realm - as if to say he had bested Gojo and Geto? He got his way with the girls too, despite knowing Geto’s feelings?

Or did he simply not recognise it, and it was truly a first for Kenjaku because there normally isn’t something there, but with Geto’s body - something actually stirred / retaliated... because it was Gojo?

I mean, from a neutral perspective, it would seem like the author is shipping them, lol. But I’m not going to lie - we don’t get much honest feedback from Geto about Gojo, so nuggets like those are quite affirming that the connection felt between them was very mutual.

Because if we see how it all began, and note that all Geto wanted to do was to protect those who needed it (even if it was at his personal expense). First it was humans, then Gojo, then sorcerers and then his family too.

And this was born out of the fracture from being unable to be relied upon to kill Toji (avenge Gojo & Riko’s death) or to fight Toji with Gojo, since leaving him alone resulted in getting him killed - which he must’ve believed happened until the point he saw him alive again carrying Riko’s lifeless body...

His connection with Gojo was so strong that (as Gege described it) his body reacted like a dragonfly whose head has been cut off. Something imprinted so deeply in their friendship that it became instinctual - carved into the body - and may not be related to the mind (therefore my avoidance of using the term “subconscious” with pseudoGeto, as it would be Kenjaku’s consciousness).

Moreover, if we take Toji’s resurrection as an example, even in the absence of a soul, the body can still remember and react. In a Geto’s case, where there is a different mind controlling it, for the body is react as separate entity is rather remarkable. I guess by saying this, I’m postulating that I believe body & soul are separate - because, if I’m honest, I want to believe Geto’s soul is with Gojo post-chapter 236.

But. We know there are all of Geto’s memories within the body still after Kenjaku inhabit it. In the absence of the host’s brain. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, Gege - but here we are. And maybe. Emotions too. Or memories of them at the very least. Not that it matters to Kenjaku.

This greatly disturbs me. It’s a level of injustice that also feeds into why I have been avoiding doing metas in Gojo - because his suffering and level of unfairness thrust upon him for simply being “blessed” and resilient just … hurts so bad. I can’t face it just yet.

So what exactly made their connection so profound?

I theorise that Geto interpreted Gojo as wanting to fight alone. That he was in his best element doing so. Kenjaku says this about Gojo too, knowing Geto’s memories.

Short sidenote: Whilst it is true that his technique lends itself better to soloing, I wonder how they might’ve fought together had the Toji incident not occurred. How would they overcome Unlimited Void aside from being back/to-back? Could Geto obtain a curse of his own to swallow him up as protection? No doubt, as a team, Geto’s progression could’ve been exponentially increased due to the number and level of curses available to him with assistance from Gojo. And would Gojo be different and enjoy fighting together had it not occurred? I don’t know, but they do seem to have wanted a connection with one another.

He saw Shoko being asked for help with teleportation. Once upon a time, might it have been him? There was no longer any “we” that he could sense. He didn’t feel there was a use when he had “failed” in so many ways after the failure of the mission and also believing that Gojo died that day and he was unable to avenge him.

The conversation with Yuki all but reinforced his feelings of irrelevance and perceived waste of their sacrifice when tengen was allegedly stable again. Subsequent conversations with Haibara and Nanami seals his skewed belief that he wasn’t needed there. Nanami’s choice of words is very interesting in the original text, implying that “it’s enough for him (Gojo) alone, isn’t it?”. Ref post by @nanami-says who has a nice selection of pieces about translations.

Gojo alone could do it. He could train and ascend all without him; untainted and untethered. His downfall was that he didn’t speak to Gojo. Gojo alone was left out. I mean, just because it suited him doesn’t mean he should be left to do it all...

This is so sad.

He left his heart (Gojo) alone. He also left his own heart alone (never happy from the bottom of his heart). In his descent, he was busy rationalising everything else except getting sad that he felt he’d lost his best friend. Arguably, the most important thing, because it is the scariest things and the things that hurt the most often have the most power / potential to heal.

It is possible he was actively avoiding it. Because, if it was purely about chasing an ideal he could have been drawn to look obsessed with it. Instead he has a sorrowful “I love you so much imma break up with you” face.

Gojo could have been the strength he was seeking if he did indeed want to just eliminate all humans, but he didn’t seek that out because (I theorise) he didn’t want to be outwardly rejected by Gojo.

And thus, he left instead (ugh! you foolish brave coward!) after snapping, and Gojo was left alone to pick up the pieces all by himself in a place haunted with memories of them together.

Just bloody tragic.

And that’s why it was carved into their souls.

In the depths of despair that he was in, could it be that he believed Gojo was better off without him , and in wanting to cradle whatever pride he had left, he sought to build his own temple where he could live in the void of his own making without facing that he had lost everyday?

Gojo could be free to grow and grow and be the strongest and embrace whatever belief system he now held - whether it was borrowed from him or not.

He even goads Gojo into killing him off since there would be meaning to it.

Sigh. Heartbreaking. It wasn’t the best decision. But we know suffering builds character. At least Gege really likes this theme❤️‍🩹.

Why do I believe he yielded though?

Because caring for others comes second nature to Geto. How many times have we seen him make that forlorn face?

Even with the souvenir he requested from Haibara, in the original he phrases it in such a way he implies he isn’t even sure if he’ll see him. “Satoru too; I don’t know if he’ll have some, but I guess, something sweet?” But. He yields to his preference.

There is limited space in his heart, and all he can do is exclude some in order to vehemently love those he can (or deems worthy enough based on his moral system). He didn’t know any other way to exist. Monstrous love. I’m pretty sure someone wrote about it. If I can find it I’ll link it! I call it maternal rage, but it’s a similar concept.

If he had wished to leave without staining Gojo, the absence of a confession of his love at any point also makes sense - like Nanami, he chose his final words carefully - that he hated monkeys (why preface with “no matter what anyone says”) and in a roundabout way, that he djdnt have hate for anyone at the school (can’t he just say he was happiest in those few years?). He wasn’t happy in the world (you can just kill me).

When he saw and felt Gojo’s love - unwavered and unchanged, seeing him having blossomed into someone still so pure - effortlessly righteous, strong, and proud with his army of students who loved each other... did he dare feel absolved? Did he feel like it was worth his defection? Yielded to others? Unable to be selfish? As sad as he was for himself and that his family would be without him and his dream unrealised; Gojo turned out ok.

Suddenly it gave meaning to his perceived sacrifice. It parallels with Toji and seeing Megumi who wasn’t a zenin.

Ah, this makes me mad somehow, but if it helped him pass and have a good death, what can I say? We all need something different at the end of our lives. And it’s important in the Shinto perspective to have a death free of regret in order to live in the space between nowhere/rebirth and earth. I posted about this in another piece too.

And I think that’s also why it was all carved into his body - enough to react to Gojo calling out to him, “Suguru”, despite being inhabited by Kenjaku. And carved into his soul that’s why he waited in the afterlife for Gojo. To be the first to greet him. I want to believe the body and soul are separate. The subconscious may have acted as a bridge between the two, transferring information from the mind / soul into the body.

But of course as a reader we wished it could’ve been a kinder fate for them. But I guess sometimes people have to pay for their sins as well as the sins of others? Life isn’t fair after all…

And arguably, Gojo needed a way to truly sympathise with the weak and how else through loving and losing someone to shape a person’s soul? It was just rather Geto-shaped, as I elaborated on in my other post.

I highly suspect Gojo may have wanted something different - as being born the strongest, he was always going to be the strongest anyway. This came with a burden. Noblesse Oblige. Being the strongest was written into his entire being - mind, body, soul.

And I think this was something they had both respected. I doubt Geto ever thought of himself as a power equal to Gojo, but they had both valued their friendship. Geto was someone who saw Gojo for a person, before the strongest. That’s why when Mimiko and Nanako asked, he was considered thus “my best friend”, and not the latter. Gojo recognised that for what it was, and felt the tender words that showed Care. Consideration. Love.

Gojo may have wanted Geto to lean on him a little. To let himself take the fall. They both didn’t like burdening the other, and after Toji it might just magnified. He wasn’t the type to overthink his role, but wanting to be the strongest (seeing how far he can go) and taking on all the blame was one of the ways Gojo was extremely loving. It was just something he accepted.

I feel like Gojo wanted to be relied upon to do his part; be his best friend, someone he could still love and do the mental and emotional load for him, spoil him a little in return so he could just do his thing as the strongest and train. He needed his other half to help him to do the things he doesn’t like or isn’t good at doing.

I think that as they experienced their bafflingly complementary and reciprocal friendship … before he knew it, all these experiences and emotions shaped him so much that his soul made room for Geto - as the one person who represented fulfilment outside of being the strongest.

Never once did he think he’d lose Geto like he did. He never wanted to be at it alone. Like a lonely army tank whose comrades had left him on the battefield to fight it out on his own.

Ugh, it hurts so bad. He didn’t think Geto was slipping down. Maybe because it wasn’t something he could understand- even more so after the enlightenment incident where a chasm emerged between him and others. Maybe nobody was ever important enough for him to worry or miss if they left.

He nevertheless never deserved to be met with such loneliness and misfortune. He carried the weight of it all, all by himself. I know they both did in their own way, but there is some tragedy to Gojo where he probably wanted or could have had more to fill his life and soul but there was always a chasm or a void that could not be filled because he could not feel understood by anyone since Geto.

How awful it must feel to have to kill someone you treasure.

We have no idea without much insight into his life growing up. Nevertheless, Gojo consistently shielded those he cares about from self-blame even from the beginning where he must’ve known Geto had such inclinations to be stuck in his own head and he tried his best to absolve it and take it upon himself. The priorities of those he cared about became his, provided if he could do it. He protected the students and made light of situations so they could experience their youth. Something he can remember treasuring well into his adult life. His blue spring / best years of his life were deeply etched into his subconscious and soul. It was what he wanted to give his students and reason for reforming the jujutsu world.

But being shielded at that time wasn’t enough for Geto who was experiencing the worst spiral in his life yet. He needed to feel the weight of his responsibility had meaning and a role. In his trauma, grief and denial, he shatters and reaches a point from which he cannot return. He also knows how Gojo defines the weak - tiresome, “lower”, etc. and that could have been another factor that led to his avoidance of him.

I want to really emphasise how I don’t blame any of them. They are not inherently responsible for the other. Arguably, Gojo needed to learn about that pain in order to know what love is. And Geto needed to realise how flawed and unloving his path actually was.

If only they could’ve both had a compassionate mentor who guided them onto the Teacher AU path 😭

In the absence of such a connection etched into his soul, what might Gojo have become? Another Sukuna? I theorised that Geto helped Gojo connect with those “beneath” him in a recent post. I’m not going to repeat that here, but it makes a lot of sense to me that Gojo learned a lot about love through Geto and his own hard work following the numerous hardships he faced as the loneliest strongest of the modern era.

He faced so much in his short life. Being blessed with the six eyes and limitless was a curse in itself. He spent years paying the price for losing his friend, and even had to kill him. How profoundly tragic. He faced loneliness and criticism for finding joy in the only thing that he practically had: jujutsu (yes that kept him one-dimensional, but similar to MeiMei chasing money and several others pursuing strength alone) it was a hefty price to pay. But he was a sorcerer. After all, the only thing he really wanted was to treasure his blue spring and the person associated with it - Geto.

It is poetic that when Gojo died, his soul found its counterpart. He opened his eyes to the person whose presence had etched itself so deeply that he knew Geto in body, mind, soul. Geto was there to greet him with a heartfelt smile (and pout!).

One meeting him at the point of death, and the other, upon death.

Their exchange is really reciprocal here too, with Geto admitting he was envious and Gojo responding in a way where he implies reassurance akin to “I needed you there”. Link to a post on this:

Geto’s little tear in his eye in not one, but two panels as well.

Anyway… then appearing at the airport reminds me of their exchange many years ago “you’re late Suguru - no you’re early.” And “you’re late, Satoru.”

Well, they’re on time now... better not be late for your flight, kids.

And as Kenjaku said to Gojo before sealing him - 「新しい世界でまた会おう」

“let’s meet again in the new world.”

—————————

Sorry, it’s a whopper from me again.

Just some words in an attempt to close this off:

For someone whose emotions guided and drove his rationale, it was ironic how Geto’s body became a puppet for someone like Kenjaku, who was so cerebral (devoid of empathy) befitting of his curse technique to brain-hop. It fits with the jjk theme of being strong in the absence of love, I guess?

Seems fitting that Kenjaku was bested after slipping up when having that good of a time with Takaba. Ironic isn’t it? All those years scheming, only to lose himself for a moment as he indulged in something novel, and he lost to a scheme himself.

And to be killed by Gojo v3.0 (Yuta) who already defeated him once, also as foreshadowed by Gojo before being sealed, on the date he scheduled 24th November.

The parallels don’t end there either, where somehow mahito who stood beside Kenjaku was created to parallel Gojo in some way too (I haven’t quite pondered on this much yet, but I reckon there is something about the thrill in growing exponentially / fighting sense that they share - it might just be that alone or possibly also the juxtaposition of one being human and one a curse? Their reasons for seeking strength?

I dunno - i gather Yuji who also developed exponentially fast and as an anomaly himself may have similarities. And again, as ch 257 leaked, it makes sense and I look forward to finding out what’ll happen to them (seeing as Yuji is kind of sukuna’s son 🤯 if the jjk world considers twin souls to be one soul - papa Yuji is Sukuna’s twin after all) and also Megumi of course.

Just going to wrap up here now, and please feel free to link me up to a post that can enlighten me or drop a comment with any thoughts?

Sorry for a rambling post. I hope it made sense.

For real, real. Thanks for reading my brainrot ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[queerholmcs]

okay. you know the drill. i do need to elaborate on some of these, moreso than is allowed within the character limit of the polls; see the read more at the bottom of the post. yes it gets a bit long, i'm sorry, i'm not normal about this show, we've established this.

stop making me watch this. this is indecent. this is not suitable for public television. please get a room.

they all know sherlock and they know that he's insane. where they go wrong is in assuming that john must then be the sane one of the pair of them. (save mycroft; see number five.)

'here, use mine' as the obvious opener. but then we also get the bit where john returns to baker street and sherlock's like 'oh haha yeah i called you across town to ask you to send a text' and john gives him the most exasperated, reluctant look before giving sherlock his phone (heart). because at this point, there is no other option. (i won't say more. essays have already been written on the matter.)

the way a point is made to demonstrate sherlock's deliberate ignorance of molly's attempts at flirting. and john's painfully awkward attempts to hit on mycroft's PA. contrasted with their every moment on screen together. 'we can't giggle, it's a crime scene!' SHUT UP.

where do i start with this one. (mycroft is my favourite. i'm not sorry.) he puts so much effort into this stupid little trick and john completely holds his own against him. he's also the only one to see that john is also not sane and that as much as sherlock is going to be some sort of influence on john, john is going to do the same to sherlock. 'might we expect a happy announcement by the end of the week?' → 'i can see from your left hand that's not going to happen' → 'time to choose a side.' hello??????? thank goodness mark gatiss mycroft holmes is here to spell things out for us.

it all starts when john says 'i looked you up on the internet last night' (weird move, it has to be said) and then doesn't immediately praise sherlock's blog. but then he also doesn't tell sherlock to piss off for deducing him and airing his family secrets like that? and from that point on, every remotely clever thing sherlock says, he looks to john for his response. ('do you know you do that out loud?' 'sorry, i'll shut up.' 'no, it's... fine.') i maintain that he only points out anderson and donovan's little affair to show off for john.

look. do i even have to say anything here. we establish that everyone sherlock interacts with thinks he's gay. we establish that john and sherlock are both unattached and that girlfriends definitely aren't sherlock's area and that it's fine to have a boyfriend, by the way, john thinks this is fine, just if you wondered, he's also unattached and it's fine if girls aren't your cup of tea and have we mentioned they're both unattached? and they have what is about the most intimate eye contact ever for far too long while doing so.

chance or chess? play the game. engage with the story. read between the lines. is it a bluff? or a double bluff? or a triple bluff? play the game. (mention the game one more time. i dare you. shut up.)

this is in both the physical and the metaphorical sense. they have no concept of personal space, either of them, and it is a bit awkward for everyone else in the room who's forced to watch them make bedroom eyes at each other. on the metaphorical side—john is the first to say 'actually, it's not obvious, so get on with it and share your thoughts with the class, would you?' and '...bit not good, yeah. maybe be slightly more sensitive to people's emotions, there.' and 'you're so full of it. you absolutely do guess, admit it, i can tell when you're lying.' lestrade watches them interact for all of ten minutes and then declares that, though he's known sherlock for five years, he still doesn't know sherlock nearly as well as john does.

who is he? well, he's with sherlock. it's sherlock holmes and doctor watson. they're a set. (do not separate!) they go together, they are defined by each other, they balance each other far too perfectly to ever be removed again. welcome to The Dynamic. you'll never know peace again. (or is that just me?)

[marley-manson]

Finally watched the Xena finale, thanks to the fanon episode order treating it as a midseason soft finale that gets fixed by When Fates Collide lol.

And man, it really was a hot mess. I could barely follow the plot, and many aspects were very arbitrary and like, revealed off-screen. The most hilarious of course being Xena suddenly announcing, like a minute before the end of the episode, that oh actually apparently she has to stay dead, sorry Gab, xoxo

It is VERY Xena though to have a plotline where Xena anticlimactically dies in the pre-credits scene at the beginning of part 2 and both you and the characters assume for the rest of the episode that she's going to come back to life like usual until the tragic twist lol.

Akemi was... resoundingly mediocre as one of Xena's exes. Her only personality traits were 'proto-Gabrielle' and 'wants to kill her dad.' Also like... was there incest subtext there? Like it was implied that the little creepy afterlife she was in was like, her dad's ghosts' personal brothel or something? But like I said, the plot was very hard to follow.

The themes were also a mess of course, it's been said many times but yeah ignoring the central theme of the show (atonement is pointless if you're doing good now) in favour of redemption thru death was dumb, the set up was dumb (we're blaming Xena for 40k deaths because she set a couple dudes on fire in self defense? Man at least give me an actual deliberate atrocity here), and choosing death over Gabrielle was like a dumb reverse Ides of March. Also Gabrielle just going like, 'damn okay I guess, bye forever,' was unbelievable. Even if Xena wants to backslide, I'm pretty sure Gabrielle would force her to come back to life anyway, fuck those souls. Like, it's not even clear how Xena's death helps them? Killing Akemi's evil dad again freed them from torment or whatever, who cares if they don't get avenged? What is a state of grace? How will they be lost, if she comes back to life? People go unavenged all the time, deal with it.

That said, I'd been under the impression that somehow Xena's death here contradicts the whole reincarnation thing, but I didn't get that at all? Idt there's any stipulation that she has to stay in the Japanese afterlife, just that she has to be killed and stay dead, and it does make sense since in their next lives Xena is a lot older than Gabrielle, so she should logically die a few decades earlier.

On the more positive side of things, it was very fun to see Gabrielle shining as ~the new Xena~ Love to see her kicking that one dude's ass twice, and the moment she catches the chakram is super cool. The non-Xena chakram-catch has always been framed as an 'oh shit, this woman's gonna be hardcore as hell' moment in the show so I love that they use it to show how far Gab's come.

And of course, gay gay gay homosexual gay. Like, season 6 is the point where I would say it is textual if only the show didn't go out of its way to scream "IT'S STILL AMBIGUOUS" a couple times lol (reporter's question in You Are There, fans in Soul Possession saying "yay Xena and Gabrielle are finally together" when they hear Harry and Mattie are married, eg.) "If I only had thirty seconds to live, this is how I'd want to spend them: looking into your eyes. I love you, Gabrielle." Like goddamn. I appreciate this cast and crew so much. Plus the incredibly thinly veiled makeout scene <3

Finally, while I think her chatting with Xena at the very end was meant to be more metaphorical or symbolic rather than literally Gabrielle talking to herself, it was an unfortunately funny image and a pretty terrible final scene imo. I do like the 'I hear they're in need of a girl with a chakram' reprise though, I gotta admit. Go kick some ass babe <3

And despite very much not liking that Xena dies in the finale, I would still read/watch the shit out of Gabrielle's now-single adventures as a just-as-invincible gay hero, kicking ass, fucking women without ever settling down with anyone, telling stories about Xena and becoming even more famous herself.

[lililovesthings]

How did I miss this??? (Part 2)

Now previously I said that I think these two have been together (and I mean TOGETHER together) for a very long time.

I have had some more thoughts/theories...they just keep coming and to be honest I'm not even sure where to start but I'll give it a go.

I do not expect anyone to read this but in all honesty, I just need to get it out. This has been going round in my head for a few days whilst I attempt to form it into a path of logical reasoning. I think I am there and there are holes but hopefully you lot can help me fill them in. So, get comfy, we might be here a while…

Assuming the meeting in Rome was a date...they have been doing this for a long time. Now at first they were extremely careful but over the centuries they became a little more brazen with being seen in public together, knowing what they could get away with. Again, nothing too obvious.

Now, many have been talking about the bookshop as a metaphor for Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship, but I think it's more than that. I shall explain:

Before I get into it, a few pieces of information that are relatively common knowledge and/or I have come across in my daily browsing (I can’t find where I saw all of them, so anyone please help):

Neil Gaiman has said that the scenes we see between Aziraphale and Crowley aren’t all the times they’ve met. This is just the meetings we see – which is understandable considering they’ve been on the planet for 6000 years.

Zira and Crowley evidently have some form of connection or awareness to their respective head offices. Even going so far as to know when they are being watched (S1, EP 6) just before they swap back.

We can all agree that there is almost nothing that is not there for a reason; details, easter eggs, acting choices, props, set etc.

We also know that the story is pretty much plotted out so it stands to reason that there will be a few story threads that go through all episodes, however subtly.

OK. So.

Aziraphale bought the bookshop in the 1700s, up until then where did they hang out? I'm thinking they were using the various 'rendezvous points' anyway regardless, we know Crowley has a flat but we also know that hell has a sort of direct line to it.

Anywhere is very open and somewhere they can be watched. Celestials have materialized inside the car, on the street, in the flat, even on the TV. The only place they never seem to materialize? The bookshop. Even Metatron came in through the front door (when he isn't a floating head summoned through a portal). note it has no TV and no radio if I remember. The only time any demons have materialised is at the end when Gabriel got his memories back. I believe that's because the demons were "invited" in earlier on.

Here's my point. The bookshop is their safe place, it's THEIR space. Remember we don't see everything, we haven't seen everything. Every time we see them, they are in a public place, with someone watching or in the bookshop...with the curtains open. And remember, they KNOW when they're being watched.

Allow me to draw your attention to Season 2, Episode 1. Crowley is already on the way to the bookshop when Zira calls him, and when they meet in the coffee shop he is rather confused as to why they aren't in the bookshop. (Then of course we have the whole naked man friend fiasco and Crowley's reaction to that...)

When they do go to the bookshop I noticed Crowley DOES NOT EVEN QUESTION WHY ZIRA IS CLOSING THE BLINDS. He has no idea Gabriel is there, (he just knows something about a naked man, which is another conversation). Now this suggests to me that this is something that is done often.

They go into the bookshop and have their 'us time'.

This also helps this make sense:

All lovers meetings would be in the bookshop. That was their space. Alone. Where no one was watching.

Now you may be thinking “We’ve seen them alone in the bookshop before when no one was watching and they weren’t behaving like a couple.” But someone was watching. WE were watching. And as we’ve established g-d only shows us what she wants us to see. She is telling the story.

I also think they have gotten so good at pretending in public that they have developed a code of sorts. For example, I think 'Breakfast/dinner at the Ritz' means something totally different.

They care for each other so deeply that they cannot stand putting each other in harms way.

They are celestial beings so their idea of love and relationships is something that is totally different and beyond the understanding of humans.

They saw Beelzebub and Gabriel be together openly in front of everyone and Zira grabbed Crowley’s arm. To me that is a very ‘familiar’ gesture. It’s saying ‘Look, they’re doing it. We can do that too.’ He then proceeds to look at Crowley with such loving adoration as if he cannot see any reason that they can’t be together openly and honestly.

Aziraphale then goes to coffee with Metatron whilst Crowley waits in the bookshop and tidies up. There is something strange about this. Throughout the time he is taking care of the bookshop whilst Zira is in Scotland, we see him chucking books all over the place. Even at the end we see him chuck a tray of food on the chair. So why is he tidying up now? – he tidies up because they are going to USE it.

He says, they are going to an ‘Extremely alcoholic breakfast at the Ritz.’ So if they are not going to be at the bookshop, why would it matter if Muriel is there or if it’s tidy? They do need US time. It’s a euphemism, it’s code. “Breakfast at the Ritz”, “I’ll give you a lift”, “Waiting inside”.

This is why it shocks Crowley so much when Nina thinks they’re a couple. They think they have been hiding it so well for a VERY long time and he can’t believe that someone has thought that for real. Yes we have all done it and been on the receiving end when someone thinks you’re a couple and you aren’t, it happens. But Nina just flat out refuses to believe that they’re not.

That is when Crowley goes to the winebar. Zira asks him why he isn’t ‘waiting inside’ “You like waiting inside.” As in “We never have a date in public, they can see us.” Then Crowley explains it’s because Jim is in the bookshop but in reality it’s probably partly because he’s realised that they haven’t hidden it as well as they thought they did, so they may as well sit there.

That reaction when Shax says to Zira, that hes not Crowley’s type? Seriously, that is a very much a “That’s what you think.” look.

We are a group of the two of us and we’ve spent our existence pretending that we aren’t. – They really were pretending. He wasn’t talking about being in denial about their feelings for one another, he was literally saying they were PRETENDING not to be together. Now he wants everyone to know. He doesn't want to pretend anymore.

He thought Zira felt the same way until he told him about the whole 'going back to heaven' situation. Not sure how it would have gone if Crowley spoke first.

Aziraphale did not seem shocked by Crowley's confession. He already knows. What he doesn't understand is why he doesn't want to go to heaven.

Zira still believes in the fundamental goodness of heaven because he has nothing to compare it to. Crowley has been on both sides and knows they are both as bad as each other “Life on earth would be just as dead, if heaven ended it.” That’s is why Crowley wants so stay on earth or go away with Zira.

Zira wants to go with Crowley to heaven because as others have pointed out, that’s where he believes they will have the best life and be able to be together. Crowley knows different, he was cast out into a pool of boiling sulphur just for asking questions. So he walks away and says ‘good luck’. Zira has not had the same experience of heaven Crowley has, Crowley has experienced the worst of the universe on both sides and can’t live like that anymore.

So "You can't leave this bookshop" yes, indeed, as we have established means "Don't leave US."

We could have been ‘US’. But Aziraphale won’t see it. So Crowley does the only thing he can think of and kiss the love of his entire existence. Whilst they are being watched. That is why Aziraphale says ‘I forgive you’. It isn’t just an ‘I love you’ it’s an ‘I forgive you for telling them our secret.’ I forgive you for trying to change my mind.

More in Part 3...