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scripttorture · 3 years

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My setting is like the real world but with various mythical otherworlds secretly connected to ours. One character with powers of psychic illusion was raised by an MiB-style intelligence and/or secret police force (tasked with keeping otherworldly beings from causing trouble in our world) that trained her to mentally torture people. I want to make this character somewhat sympathetic, so it is plausible for her to be indoctrinated as a torturer from childhood? Does it depend how young they start?

Anon I don’t think this is a good idea. There’s an awful lot to unpack here about why that is so I’m going to start off with a simple question that effects how you move forward: what’s most important for you about this character?

Is it that she’s sympathetic? That she’s effective at her job? That she’s highly skilled and trained? That she’s part of a productive organisation that can actually do the tasks it sets out to?

Because if she’s a torturer then realistically she would be none of those things. And making her any of them is (in my opinion) torture apologia: because it is portraying a torturer in an extremely unrealistic way that favours the torturer and excuses the abuse they carry out.

You would, literally, be repeating lies popularised by real life torturers.

Torture does not work. It is impossible to get accurate, timely information by using torture. Here’s an introduction to why. Here’s a post on what torture does to investigations. Here’s a guide to writing what torture does to interrogations. Here’s a list of investigative strategies that actually work. Here’s a post on the damage torture does to human memory. Please read these masterposts and take a look at my sources as well.

Torturers are not indoctrinated radicals. The organisations that torturers are part of actively try to screen out anything they see as radical, deviant or a product of illness. There aren’t enough studies on torturers for me to give you a break down of their politics but my impression from the anecdotes and interviews I’ve read? Their politics is ‘normal’ and mainstream for the organisation they are part of. Whatever that organisation is.

Torturers are not taught from a young age because torture is not complex. It does not take months to learn how to hit someone. Torturers learn on the job by assisting other torturers.

Torture is simple. It is functionally easy. I really can’t stress that enough. The most common tortures globally right now are: hitting people, depriving them of food and depriving them of sleep. I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that six year olds could come up with that list.

Hurting people is not complicated. It requires no skill and no training.

The evidence we have suggests torturers lose skills as they turn to torture, a process Rejali calls ‘de-skilling’. The basic idea is pretty simple: if you spend all day hitting people instead of practicing what you were trained for (gathering evidence for example) you get so out of practice that you start to forget how to do those things.

And then there’s the effect that torture has on torturers. They get symptoms. They develop lasting, serious, mental health problems which directly effect their ability to do their jobs.

I have a list of the common symptoms here as well as a rough guide for how many symptoms you should be considering for torturers and torture survivors.

Separate to the symptoms is the general pattern of behaviour torturers exhibit. We don’t have a lot of high quality studies on torturers and there are a lot of questions we do not have clear answers to. However the studies and the anecdotal evidence of survivors, witnesses and torturers themselves points to some consistent behaviours.

Torturers don’t work alone. They form little sub-cultures within larger organisations. These groups are incredibly aggressive, competitive, self-important, hyper-masculine and violent. Torturers look down on everybody else. They are convinced that they are the most important people in their organisation, the only one’s doing ‘real work’. They have an arrogant, puffed up pride that combines with mental illness and seeing their colleagues as competition to create the worst asshole you’ve ever had the misfortune of working with.

They do not cooperate with other people. They use abuse as a pissing contest, competing to see who can be the most brutal in order to try and ‘impress’ fellow torturers.

They define strength and group loyalty by hurting other people.

They have a fracturing effect on organisations, because they don’t obey orders and see their colleagues as competition or useless. At the low end of the scale this means cliques, secrets from the larger organisation and a terrible working environment as they bully and belittle their colleagues. At the high end of the scale there are cases where torturers have attacked and murdered people within the same organisation.

Does any of that sound sympathetic?

I like a challenge when I write. I’ve described my writing style as ‘hold my beer’ because I tend to take ideas other people dismiss as impossible to pull off and try my best to make them work. I do this because I love exploring human complexity through fiction.

A torturer who is currently torturing is not a sympathetic person. They are a bullying, violent, arrogant brute who contributes nothing useful to the organisation they latch on to, sucking up time and resources like a tick. They see other people as garbage. And they lack insight into their own crimes. Which means they do not appreciate or acknowledge the pain and damage they cause.

Now I have written a character who is an ex-torturer who I think is sympathetic in some ways. But getting to the point where they could be sympathetic meant them having to leave the organisation they were part of on a stretcher.

Their fellow torturers turned on them. They lost a leg. They changed sides and in the middle of a messy civil war they dedicated themselves to keeping their friend’s children safe.

And I had to set the story twenty years after these events to get that character out of their own ass enough for them to be sympathetic.

Even then, I’d say they’re sympathetic in spite of having been a torturer. Because they’re still clinging to that insistence that they did something meaningful. They still can’t accept the extent of their own crimes or the effects those crimes had.

But their pride broke. And they did keep those children alive. They helped raise them. And the tie to those children is what makes them sympathetic by the time of the story.

Torturers are not sympathetic people. They are self absorbed abusers who bend over backwards to downplay the harm they did to their victims and to justify their crimes.

Is that really what you want to write?

I say that, not to be harsh, but because it sounds to me as though what you actually want to write is a genuine investigator with psychic powers.

It sounds as though you want to write a character who is good at her job. Who is skilled and dedicated and a great person to work with.

If that’s the case my advice is to ditch the torture entirely. Look at the masterpost on genuine investigation instead and write a character who is good at interviewing people.

Have her use her psychic powers to present herself as sympathetic to the criminals she’s interviewing. Because she can walk into a room and know their politics, their religious beliefs, their internal justifications for what they’ve done. And she can use that, may be even manipulatively, to seem like someone the prisoner would like, someone they’d agree with.

That gets people talking.

And if you want to show her as ruthless, as having an edge to her, that can still work.

Imagine someone sitting down across from a suspect, holding their hands, smiling, talking to them gently. Imagine them gradually, kindly, getting this suspect’s life story. Imagine them being sympathetic about the reason the suspect murdered someone, validating the murder’s feelings and may be even actions… Right up until they have the information they need.

Then they turn on a dime. The persona drops, the false-sympathy drains away. They stand up with a sneer and say they hope the murderer never sees the light of day again. And walk out.

Think about what you want from the story Anon. A character who tortures, or a character who is competent, smart and sympathetic.

Because it really is one or the other.

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#writing advice #tw torture #tw police brutality #fantasy ask #torture does not work #torture apologia #torture as interrogation #effective interrogation #effective investigation #effect of torture on torturers #writing torturers #behaviour of torturers #effect of torture on organisations #torturers are not omniscient #ways torture fails

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cateringisalie · 3 years

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My list of bearable Binal Bantasy VII tags is thinning...

But seriously. Being skeptical of Tifa’s narration of past events is not without merit. By the time the Lifestream scene rolls around she has been through three comas and some grevious injuries. The Lifestream scene is as revelatory for her as it is for Cloud.

The new assertion she was in any way actually friends with Cloud is not only in conflict with the OG’s portrayal but counter to Cloud’s development, her development, the growth of their relationship as adults and why (in general) people have them stay together post game.

Its unnecessary, frustrating and further damaging Tifa’s character who is spinning off further from who she was.

That Tifa and Cloud were not actually childhood friends does not mean they do not have a relationship in FFVII. It does not mean they cannot be together. Tifa “falling in love” with Cloud at the water-tower does not for a second make their later relationship any more meaningful.

All this new ship information does is make the relationship have longer longevity than previously assumed. As if whichever relationship has lasted longer is betterer and stronger. As if this should automatically undercut any other relationship Cloud or Tifa can possibly experience.

(in fact - and darkly cynically - this feels a lot more like enforcing that Cloud/Tifa and Zack/Aerith operate in near exactly the same way. The pairs fall in love in record time (two years prior to the Nibelheim incident both times as far as I’m ware), the boys go missing and the girls never move on with their lives. I get the boys have gone missing without a shred of explanation or closure, but now for both of them people are willing to wipe out a quarter of their lives waiting. Teenagers are resilient you know? They will be inconsolable if this happened but they would bounce back a lot faster and cleaner than they would expect. The approval of the never moving on this is purely to keep the shipping uncomplicated. There can only be one pairing for Tifa, there can only be one pairing for Aerith. And if you think otherwise you’re wrong in canon. And who wants to write or read about a non-canon ship? Unless its yaoi/yuri in any case. I am so tired)

Childhood friends incidentally is not, however much some insist, a common trope of the series - unless you stretch it a fair amount and it encompasses a trivial number of the pairings. And none of the big ones (you know; Squall/Rinoa or Tidus/Yuna).

Could Tifa do with more backstory? Of course. Did Tifa’s mother deserve a name? Absolutely! But not like this. Not when Cloud helping round up cats in Remake is now tied to finding Tifa’s cat in a new authored backstory. This speaks again to the constant magpie-ing of existing imagery and moments from older parts of FFVII to feed the present. The retconning in of importance by changing the meaning of otherwise unimportant moments.

Tifa is not and never was under any obligation to like Cloud as a child. She did not bully him, but neither should she expected to involve him in anything she did. I understand the book has muddied this gloriously, but for what effect?

I mean, I know where the desperation to make Cloud and Tifa childhood friends stems from. I know why you want Cloud to have fallen in love with Tifa at like age 5 or something and for Tifa to fall in love with him at 13. And I rail against it all the time that its not necessary. Being first does not mean better.

Maybe I am old, cynical and exhausted, but I kind of like watching Cloud and Tifa grow closer in FFVII. I like watching Cloud and Aeris grow closer in FFVII. I like to experience these things where I can... experience them? I don’t like reading books which assert things in blunt statements that clarify exactly what the writer intended. I certainly don’t have the patience to wait for a later book to clarify what happened on-screen when I have drawn my own conclusions based on my preferences. Especially as this is all contributing to that continued sense that the OG is a smelly, badly designed embarrassment we would rather tiday away for the crime of being graphically inferior (never mind it was championed on its looks on release) and “goofy” (and apparently unable to run the gamut of emotions I remember from serious to comedy, to silly, to tragic, to pessimistic and quietly optimistic and moving).

I’m coming back to this point to stress it - I want to see the relationship growth. Remake gave me that for Aerith and Cloud even if the details aren’t to my taste. First meeting is awkward because hey, random stranger/Cloud is tired. Cloud gets involved and spends more time with Aerith. And the high-five thing is used as a clumsy/awkward/eh but clear metaphor for how their relationship develops over the course of their time together.

To the point that yes, it makes sense for Cloud to want to rescue her. Less sense for Elmyra and Tifa to be “Well they might not vivisect her” and then delay for two full chapters, but the whole thing flows.

And here’s where I get accused of being a fake fan: I don’t like how Cloud and Tifa’s relationship develops in Remake. Flirting. Tifa being mildly fazed by Cloud claiming its been five years. Scared when he almost kills Johnny. Maybe hurt depending on your resolution scene (hey podcast people! No Gold Saucer multiple dates because too expensive? How are there branched resolution scenes in Remake then?). But there isn’t growth. They seem to fit into each other’s lives without worry, bit of flirting, strange super-intense moments jammed into inappropriate sequences (the train roll, climbing the plate, Cloud remembering the promise unprompted, Tifa not actually engaged with Avalanche’s plans). There’s no sense anything has changed between them, the missed five years has done anything to them.

And I’m sure some would take this as proof of correctness. But... somehow Remake is better for realism despite a lot of new clumsy, but this relationship is not dinged for being implausible? No way does that five year gap not seriously impact any prior relationship to say nothing of developing from scratch.

See this was a neat thing about the OG; while Tifa seemed to have an edge over Aerith by knowing Cloud longer, he was in effect meeting them at the same point in his life and more or less starting from scratch with both. Both ships are valid, and even if Cloud is with Tifa come the end, it doesn’t mean he can’t have romantic feelings about both women.

Oh, but Nojima has changed his mind/always intended it this way. And? I can change my mind about liking what he’s written - and my patience and tolerance of Nojima has waned massively since 1997. To the point where his involvement invokes a pained groan from me.

Plus the hilarious attitude that this is from the same people who insisted “the OG will always be there, stop moaning about Remake”. Well guess what? I don’t like Remake and I don’t really want it around. The OG is better.

Yes, Tifa is under-served and sure, it could be clearer about shipping (but the apparent hostility to ambiguity and personal interpretation is deeply distressing. These things can mean something to you and don’t have to mean the same thing to everyone. Interpreting the romancs - again - not a competition).

BUT

I will take the OG version of Tifa where she believed in the cause, where she had friends (again, yes, the relationship between Tifa and the rest of Avalanche is not well depicted, but it was better than actively curtailing it), where she ran a bar THAT ACTUALLY OPENED AND SERVED CUSTOMERS, where she hated Shinra, where she didn’t know how to treat Cloud because she had only really talked to him once in her life and DESPITE THAT that they great closer and spent their last night before THE END OF THE WORLD together over the Remake.

Where Tifa is wary of Cloud for about 5 seconds, twice and then defaults to constant flirting. Where Cloud is near smothering Tifa every second they’re together and she doesn’t tell him to fuck off once. Where she’s allied with Avalanche but hates their methods (and the pacifists are in a shop around the corner and she is not with them because...?). Where she has some absurd contrived plot about medical bills and buying Seventh Heaven for Barret and Marlene.

Which would lead to a whole other rant titled “Marle is the Worst” but this has dragged on quite long enough.

But seriously; if you argue that we can’t hate Remake because OG is always there, then you have to stop applying Remake back to OG and using it as proof. Which is exactly why many people bemoaned the Remake at all. OG is one thing, Remake is another. I don’t care for the latter.

And I know if anyone does read all this it will be about the meanie Cleriths who diminish Tifa for no good reason. And yes, they are indeed acting in bad faith. But what makes you think for a second evidence will convince these people?

In particular, the argument has raged so long and always will because if people do not like a ship they will not accept it as canon (if they care about this as a factor) NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. Literally. Look at Loki if you want the most recent example of this.

Canon is to many “what I want” and often does not tally with the general interpretation. And you know, if being “canon” or guessing right early wasn’t triumphed as such a vital thing, we might not get these really terrible and pointless arguments.

Canon is a prize but here’s the big secret: fandom - in general - does not care. FFVII is an excellent case example given Sefikura overwhelms the other ships (and I think AZGSC is close?). And that’s not canon. That’s not even in the ballpark of the Cloud/Tifa vs Cloud/Aerith arena (even give that the former is roughly twice the size of the latter, you already won, so please stop?). Canon is only important if you think its important - and you get some more official art of sequences you can gif. And maybe you get kissing/implied sex/marriage/kids, but most of all you get a smug sense of superiority. And the last is why I have no patience with this.

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thetomorrowshow · 4 years

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Slower Than Words Ch. 20

First - Previous - Next

Been a busy week! I’ll let you know if I need to slow down updates! So how about we visit Virgil, see what’s up with him?

cw: a n g s t, panic attack

Virgil couldn't move. Roman had helped him into bed, then sat in the room for a while, trying to talk to him. When Virgil didn't respond, he eventually left, stating that he would be back later.

His world was crashing down around him.

Could he believe that just yesterday, he'd smiled? He'd laughed? Now it was all background noise, mindless buzzing that felt totally inconsequential. There was only one thing that mattered now. Patton.

Therapy had been rough, and Virgil had expected it to be. What he hadn't expected was to go over every meaningful interaction he had with Patton. The doctor had said she was “doing some tests”, so Virgil struggled to keep himself together as he talked about the one person he missed most in the world.

Then, she'd had the audacity—she'd dared to—

Virgil took a deep breath, blood boiling as he remembered that it was she who encouraged these breathing exercises. What if he didn't want to calm down? He deserved to feel, remember, Patton needed him to—

Virgil's legs started quaking, but he paid it no mind. He could not be wrong, admitting he was wrong would be abandoning Patton, he couldn't do that, he wasn't dead, he wasn't gone, he'd always been there and always would.

His breathing quickened, coming in short, shallow breaths. His entire body was shaking, and Virgil nearly puked when he realized he could smell rubbing alcohol. He hadn't had a flashback all week, he'd been doing so well!

As if summoned, there were gentle fingers on his wrist. Calm, the fingers traced. It's okay. I'm here.

“Patton,” Virgil croaked. “I—I knew it, you're here, you're here, I knew it—”

V breathe slow. Safe.

Virgil got his breathing under control after a dozen rounds of exercises. His legs were still quivering, but he knew where he was. He was in his room, in Roman's house, and he was going to be okay, and Patton—

Virgil choked.

His own hand gripped his wrist. His own hand was tracing soothing words.

“She was right,” Virgil whispered. His mind frantically grasped at straws, trying to explain what had just happened, as Virgil felt an overwhelming amount of despair.

“Virgil, you talk a lot about Patton. In every instance you told me about, however, you never hear him. You can't see him. Based on your time alone at the beginning of your imprisonment, it seems unlikely that they would suddenly decide to move you into a room with another person.”

Virgil's body had been completely out of energy, lax and unable to move, but now he was stiff as a board, locked in place. It couldn't be. It couldn't.

“We haven't been able to find out what that book was, based on your description of it.”

No. No no no no no.

“And I've seen you trace words onto yourself, in times when you need comfort. An interesting coping habit, one that might appear when a person is locked in a room with no outside stimulation.”

Virgil sobbed, full on weeping as his body couldn't move. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be real.

And that was exactly the problem, wasn't it?

“Virgil, I think Patton may have been a hallucination that your brain fabricated in order to keep you comfort during the year that you were alone. I may be wrong, but everything you've told me about Patton points to it. Virgil, can you be absolutely certain that Patton was real?”

He'd said yes, he'd said that there was no other option. He'd stormed out of the office five minutes later. He'd refused to talk to Roman in the car. He'd gone straight to his room and curled up on top of his blankets.

Patton had to be real, didn't he? He couldn't have made up a person so complex, so loving, so wonderful. And, more realistically, he couldn't have created something so solid it had washed his clothes on days he felt too ill. Unless he'd imagined it. Anything was possible if it came from his head, wasn't it?

One part of him was screaming, begging him to not abandon his best friend. The other part of him was mourning the loss of Patton. Virgil wasn't sure what to do, torn this way. He had to be real. He was real—but was he? Where was the evidence?

The world was crumbling. Virgil choked on his tears, crying for Patton, crying for himself, crying for the loss he'd just suffered. Patton wasn't real, Patton had to be real, Patton couldn't be real.

Roman knocked on the door, asking cautiously if Virgil wanted to come down for dinner. Virgil pretended to not hear him, feigned sleep when Roman opened the door to look in. He buried his eyes in his pillow as he heard the door quietly shut, then Roman's footsteps retreating. He was alone, isolated, and the one person he'd truly loved had probably never even existed.

What was Virgil supposed to do?

“Dude, what does it say?”

A long silence. Virgil groaned. Apparently he'd gotten an email as well as a letter, but Roman had insisted on reading it to him. Screen-readers were 'too impersonal' now. It wasn't like he was going to get his information any other way.

“Virgil, I . . . I'm sorry.”

Virgil's heart dropped. Roman sounded lost for words, his voice cracking in the middle of the sentence. There was no way whatever the letter said was good news.

“You . . . you got in!”

In a shot of adrenaline, Virgil smacked him. Probably on the arm.

“Ow! That was my face, you heathen!”

Oops.

“Roman! Don't—why—” Virgil could barely speak. He'd gotten in? He was certain he wouldn't get in the first time, let alone twice . He got in!

“It's my job, as your adopted older brother!” Roman said, the false hurt completely gone from his tone. “I have to bully you a bit! You should've seen the look on your face, it was priceless!”

Virgil frowned, his heart still racing. He shook his head in an attempt to clear it a bit. “I'm . . . older than you?”

“Doesn't matter! I am, by proxy, older!”

Virgil snorted. “That makes no sense, dude.”

“Doesn't have to!” Roman proclaimed. Virgil could practically see him doing some dramatic arm thing. “I'm the older brother, and therefore, I don't have to make sense!”

Virgil tilted his head back in an approximation of rolling his eyes. According to Roman, it looked pretty creepy when he actually rolled his eyes, and it stung a little. Still, he would probably roll his eyes once he was around people who weren't Roman's parents.

He was really going back.

He sniffed, his nose burning. It had been so, so long. Had the campus changed? Would he be in a different dorm? Would he and Roman still share, since they were in different grades now?

He knew everything about their accessibility and whatever, about how they would accommodate disabled people. The school had actually reached out to him, informing him that he could finish his degree no problem, they had four or five visually impaired students already and could easily make it possible for him to continue his education. Virgil had been in contact with various foundations in order to work things out with his university, and he'd gotten a few scholarships—not to mention, the handful of scholarships he'd already had had gladly reinstated themselves. In fact, Virgil had pretty much already known that he'd be going back. There'd been very little room to doubt, as his therapist had told him several times.

This was real, though. Right there, in Roman's hands, was proof. He was allowed back, and would see teachers and classmates he hadn't seen in over a year. He was starting spring semester, which was still a few months away—Roman, despite his protests, had also put off starting his junior year until spring semester.

“Virge? Are . . . you okay?”

Virgil sniffed again, wiping his cheek to find a few tears there. “Yeah, I'm fine,” he said, with an attempt at a laugh. “I just . . . didn't think this would ever happen, y'know?”

Roman also laughed, albeit much more nervously. “With the way admissions was basically begging you to come back? Of course it happened!”

Neither of them acknowledged what Virgil really meant.

“So, packing?” Roman said, after several seconds of silence. “I know it's a while away, but is there anything specific you want to bring?”

With a pang, Virgil thought back to his hand-stitched hoodie. Hopefully it was bringing Patton as much comfort as it had always brought him. He'd had it for years, made it in Home Ec in high school. Until recently, he'd never been without it. It was bittersweet, in a way. Sure, it was gone, but it was with Patton. Like . . . like a piece of his heart would always be with Patton.

Virgil shook himself. That's stupid. And cheesy, he told himself. Grow up. Move on. He doesn't exist.

There was an ASL club on campus, one that Virgil planned on becoming a part of. Roman wanted to as well, making up something about having always wanted to learn sign, but Virgil knew it was just protectiveness. Virgil was pretty sure Roman had been about to rearrange his entire schedule so that they could have the same classes, despite the fact that Roman was a year ahead and in a different program of study. After a long evening of Virgil sitting in his room anxiously while Roman talked to his parents in the living room downstairs, Roman had come to the conclusion that it was best for him to continue with his intended major. Virgil was relieved—he was a grown adult, after all. He didn't really want someone trailing after him everywhere, insisting on helping him with every little thing.

Did he?

“Am I ready for this?” he wondered aloud. Roman gripped his shoulder tightly.

“I think so.” The words were soft, but no less powerful than Roman's usual loud tone. “You're so strong, Virgil. You're the strongest person I know.”

Virgil couldn't help but cringe. He knew someone much stronger. Whether that person was real or not was up for debate.

His most recent therapy sessions had involved a lot of tears, but Virgil had agreed to acknowledge that Patton might not exist. In turn, the doctor agreed to not make a formal assessment on Patton for the time being. It was still devastating, of course. It was still as if his entire world was falling apart. But Virgil was finding it easier to smile, more natural to joke with Roman.

He was healing.

Did he want to heal?

Yes, of course Virgil wanted to heal. He wanted to move on. He wanted to lead a normal life, without hurt and flashbacks and hallucinations.

But not without Patton.

There was a fork in the road approaching, Virgil was sure of it. He was going to have to choose between waiting for, hoping for Patton, and moving on. He wasn't sure what would happen when he reached that point.

But it scared him that he would have to make that decision alone.

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added/removed): @enragedbees @gotta-love-alejandra @bunny222 @basiic-emo @patt0n-sanders @rosiepupper @fangirlgeekandfreak @dn-fan21 @that2000skid @remy-the-lemon-berry @itsadastraperaspera @xionbean @sanderssides-angst @hell-yea-we-gay-tonight @maybedefinitely404 @broken-pencils @thewhimsicallibrarytech @doomllily @hereissananxiousmess @judyismydog @arodynamic-enby @at-that-one-nerd @therapysides

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dwellordream · 4 years

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I'd love a directors commentary for all of "my heart is a fist of barbed wire", but there's so many chapters (really, really good ones gah) so chapter 32 "ring" would be fascinating to hear your take on, it really ties into the last couple chapters and is still so shocking?! I really enjoyed it, thank youu!! ♥️

thank you! i remember going into chapter 32 i was just so worn down from the fic (as much as I enjoyed writing it) that I was kind of dreading having to wrap up so many major plot points in just one chapter. the chapter ended up being nearly 10,000 words, which at that time especially was brutal for me to try to get through, so it was kind of tiring to get through, but I ended up being pretty satisfied with it. I wrote it in parts and spent about a day on each ‘section’ since it’s divided by months. I still feel like the pacing is pretty uneven, but it got across Amy’s rapidly evolving emotional state as she figures out what she wants to do with her life. ‘August’ was interesting because this is where Amy takes her first real step towards actively deceiving Tom; we see her come to a series of conclusions pretty much all at once. she knows he is going to find out that she came looking for him in Knockturn Alley. either she can confess that she followed up on the Riddles and knows what he’s done, or she can hide it. her decision to hide is largely due to the fact that she’s now realized this is the *only* advantage she has over him. he’s committed a serious crime- murder!- and is convinced he’s getting away with it. the only way she can keep this leverage over his head is to feed into Tom’s sizable ego and play up his cunning and charisma, convincing him that he’s ‘won her back’. fortunately for Amy, she is perceptive enough to realize that she needs to go about this in a manner that is convincing. he has some massive blind spots, but she knows he will be suspicious if she suddenly seems completely forgiving and accepting of his bad behavior once again. with this in mind, Amy comes up with a haphazard plan to reel Tom back in; she’s going to play coy and distant, feed into his desire to ‘prove himself’ to her, and let him do a lot of her work for her. Tom is very smart but he’s also used to being right, and he relies on a ton of assumptions to live his life. his #1 assumption is that no one is cleverer than him or more cunning than him, and Amy is not an exception to this. he might respect her obvious wits and determination, but he certainly doesn’t want to acknowledge that it could ever be used against him, personally. therefore when Amy is reunited with Tom in ‘August’, she puts on a pretty good act, pretending to slip up and reveal that she still cares for him and his well-being; Tom is only too eager to fall for this, and leaps at the chance to convince her that he’s back on his best behavior; when he wheedles her into a date, she lets him, albeit pretending to still have her guard up. one interesting note about ‘October’ is that despite her obvious animosity and desire to get away from Tom, Amy still worries that he might be drafted after he’s turned eighteen. I think it just speaks to her overall compassion. she has plenty of reason to hate him, but she still wouldn’t wish the war upon him. In ‘December’ we see that Tom and Amy are back to their own tricks; on friendly enough terms to exchange holiday gifts once more, albeit in private. Amy is forced to remain back at Hogwarts for the break due to Wool’s closure, leaving her extremely isolated and vulnerable. Tom, of course, senses an opportunity here and presents her with a very expensive gift of pearl earrings (which Amy infamously speculates over the origins of). there is a whole lot of fucked up stuff wrapped up with this present exchange. Amy bakes Tom cookies almost as a ‘test’ experiment to see how trusting he is of her: the answer is ‘very’. he accepts her gift without question, almost as if it were expected and prompted by him. he presents her with what would ordinarily be considered a very serious and romantic gift; genuine pearl earrings (or really any expensive jewelry) was a major status symbol gift in the 1940s. no normal teenage boy would have been giving a girl he wasn’t even ‘going steady with’ such a lavish present. it would have been more in line for a married couple. this is some obvious foreshadowing of what’s to come. the very first thing Tom does after giving Amy this present is not ask if she likes the earrings or tell her he got her them because he cares about her and knows she’s fond of pearls, but instruct her to put them on. I think this is such a textbook example of his controlling and possessive behavior. it pops up throughout the fic and we certainly see it when he has Matthew attacked out of jealousy and a desire to make Amy suffer, but it’s just super blatant here. it’s almost like he doesn’t really care whether Amy likes the earrings or not. what he cares about is that she is willing to put them on, even if only temporarily, thus demonstrating (in his view) some level of devotion that he’s going to rely on later. in his mind, if she can accept the earrings without rejecting them (or him) she can accept something more serious. we then see him immediately try to kiss her, something he hasn’t done in over a year at that point; they’ve had pretty much no physical contact whatsoever since the Matthew Fiasco. what’s also disturbing here is that Amy senses he’s about to kiss her and decides to ‘let it happen’, without much regard for her own consent. she doesn’t seem to care whether or not she actually wants Tom to kiss her- he wants to, and she’s decided that it’s in her best interests to keep him placated. compared to her earlier trend of usually taking the initiative in their romantic relationship and being very clear about what she wants and doesn’t want, I think this is really sad and concerning. what surprises Amy (and maybe the reader) is that when Tom does go through with it, he almost immediately realizes that she’s not into it, at all, beyond just not reciprocating right off the bat, and backs off. there’s multiple ways to interpret this. we could argue that Tom still cares about her consent and has no interest in kissing someone who clearly doesn’t want to be kissed. we could argue that Tom realizes it’s in *his* best interests to try to *prove* he can be understanding and patient and so he reluctantly backs off. we could argue that the tender and sweet nature of the kiss itself shows a ‘soft side’ to Tom that is really desperate for love and affection, as opposed to him trying to bully her into reciprocating. in the end, this is from Amy’s POV, and she just doesn’t know. what she does see is that Tom seems visibly disturbed by her lack of reaction, and is genuinely concerned she’s about to cry. he then apologizes (or as much of an ‘apology’ as we might ever see from him in Barbed Wire) and seems to remind himself that she asked him for some space and time. Amy latches onto this, and tries to reassure him that she, too, wants things to go back ‘to the way they were’. but the cold reality here is that there is no going back. Amy *can’t* go back. the real dysfunction here is Tom’s insistence on trying to turn back time- to him, the reminder that they are graduating and will soon ‘leave behind’ their school social circles is a comforting one. the irony of course is that literally none of that happens. Tom has no intention of moving on with his life or dropping the fairweather friends he’s cultivated at Hogwarts. he intends to exploit as much as possible from them and the reputation he’s built up as an aspiring pureblood elite. nothing really changes for him, but everything is about to change for amy. finally we get to ‘May’ and ‘June’. I seriously debated giving ‘June’ its own chapter and ending 32 on ‘May’, but I decided at the time it would give readers a false impression of the direction the fic was headed in. I figured there were enough twists already without convincing everyone that we were about to have an ‘unhappy happy ending’ or I guess ‘happy ending for Tom, mediocre ending for Amy’. in ‘May’ of course comes the Proposal. I really debated combining this with ‘June’ and having Tom propose right before Amy springs her trap, but it ended up working out better this way. Amy and Tom yet again meet up in secret, this time above the dueling gallery, and they almost seem to have fully reconciled- Amy enthusiastically reciprocates his kiss, and he presents her with yet another gift: an unexpected letter of recommendation from one Oliver Parkinson, a successful healer guaranteed to ensure her a prosperous career at St Mungo’s straight out of graduation. I think kind of the crux of Amy’s character is her reaction to this gift. even while pretending to be won over, she cannot hide her distaste for this method; she doesn’t want anything she feels she hasn’t earned. to Tom, this is a pointless (if endearing) waste of her pride. he is really patting himself on the back here, going, ‘look how enlightened I am, not only being tolerant of you wanting a career of your own, but going to all this trouble to set it up for you!’. but that’s not what Amy wants. she wants a partner who is going to encourage her to forge her own path, not do the work for her. she doesn’t want an easy life, she wants a meaningful one, and her and Tom’s definitions of ‘meaningful’ just don’t align. it also has to do with his own pride- in Tom’s mind, if they’re going to be engaged, *of course* she needs an illustrious career, especially since Amy has no ‘good breeding’ or lovely country estate to fall back on. he knows it will be much easier to work her into pureblood society if she is a respected protege of a man like Oliver Parkinson; than he can arrange for people to conveniently forget about her wild school days and her muggleborn background, and really shape her into a woman he feels will best suit his goals in life; someone successful in their own right, but still owing it all to him and his connections. he then almost immediately shoots himself in the foot by bragging about his blackmailing of Atticus Greengrass to secure his own career prospects, and then, of course, unveils the fateful Ring, the same Ring Amy immediately spotted on him way back in ‘August’, which has conveniently fit very well into her plans. Tom still can’t be bothered with a more traditional propose, and launches into one final sales pitch to Amy. a lot of people have commented on about how earnest and genuinely compelling they found his speech. I felt like it had to be in order to sell the moment. he needs to *believe* in what he’s saying. it has to be the most open and vulnerable moment of Tom’s in the entire fic for it to seem plausible. he puts it all on the line for one split second of faith... and of course it blows up in his face, but the point is that he seeded his own destruction, more or less. had he been like this with Amy from the start, maybe they could have built a much more positive and open relationship, instead of a dysfunctional mess. “you’re alone,” Tom tells Amy, more or less, “you’ve always been alone, and you will always need me to make you feel less alone” but we know that’s just not true. Amy isn’t alone; she has real friends and passions, she has so much to look forward to, an entire life ahead of her. Tom is the one who’s alone, in the worst possible way. the one person who made him feel less alone, he ended up pushing away with his poor choices and selfish desires. he brings up her background in this ‘gotcha’ moment- but the joke is that Amy doesn’t care! she’s always known, and she doesn’t care. it’s painful, yes, and she acknowledges that pain, but she has moved on from that part of her life. she holds no rage or even resentment towards her mother for giving her up. she doesn’t resent her mother for being an impoverished sex worker with no means to care for a small child. she has no desire to find out who her father was or ‘confront’ her mother- that doesn’t matter to Amy. where she comes from, her origins, they don’t matter. she doesn’t give a damn about her heritage or ancestry, she just wants to move forward. and now the only thing standing in her way is Tom. I think ‘June’ pretty much speaks for herself, but I will say this; when I wrote I didn’t really feel any vindictive sense of ‘ah, she’s getting her revenge on him now!’, mostly just sadness. It’s really sad that Amy ends up feeling the only way she can even have this honest talk with Tom... is with him incapacitated and literally unable to respond. she identifies herself as being selfish, and I think this is a good example of selfishness not always being a bad thing, which I think is very important, especially for girls! (not that I’m condoning drugging anyone or blackmailing them, etc). but learning to put yourself and your wants and needs first is important. Amy is mature enough to realize that this relationship with Tom and her cannot work. she cannot be his moral compass, and she cannot turn a blind eye to his actions. his speeches about ‘letting her win’ and them being happy together are pretty and persuasive but ultimately hollow. there is no happy ending for them. he ruined their chances of that a long time ago. she’s not his enemy- he is. and I think her parting of “I love you” just really speaks to who she is as well. it’s really hard to recognize that someone you love isn’t good for you, that not all loves are necessarily good things. being with him might feel right in the moment, but in the long-term she knows it would be the exact opposite. she’s able to honestly acknowledge her feelings while still finding the strength to walk away.

#ask #anon #ask game #barbed wire

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harperfinkles · 5 years

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My Ranking Of Every Barbie Movie

A few months ago I finally decided to watch every barbie in order. When I was a kid I loved barbie movies, but I stopped watching them after Princess & The Popstar came out, and I felt like I’ve been missing out ever since.

Here I present to you: My Ranking Of Every Barbie Movie!

Keep in mind that I’m basing this off of my personal enjoyment of each film, and not by how “good” it is. There are many movies here that are ranked high despite being objectively flawed, as well as there are movies ranked low despite being objectively good. My opinions are also subject to change, especially since some of these I’ve only seen once.

36: Barbie & Her Sisters In A Puppy Chase

This entire movie is a mess. Like most of the barbie & her sisters movies there’s no real plot. The events of this movie only happen because of bad luck, which is never a good way to kick off your movie. I also find barbie to be completely OOC in this movie. Her disorganization and lack of planning is something that isn’t present in any of the sisters movies. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy movies that humanize barbie and give her more flaws but there are way more creative ways to do it. It doesn’t help that her insistence to “keep positive!!!” and “be optimistic :)))” just robs this movie of any meaningful message.

Then after the frustrating mess that is the puppy chase itself, Chelsey STILL wins her dance competition despite the fact that barbie didn’t let her practice, and she cheated by adding her sisters and the horses to the dance. It’s unbelievably stupid. I don’t know how the writers of this movie thought we would buy into that. I’m probably never going to watch this movie again.

35: Barbie Presents Thumbelina

The main reason I don’t like this movie is because of the style of the Twillerbees. Unlike Mariposa (the only other movie that doesn’t have a barbie protagonist) their faces look inhuman in a way that makes it hard to relate to them. I would’ve much preferred if Thumbelina had just gotten the normal barbie face, just her body becoming smaller. Besides that I think the girl whose name I can’t remember is annoying, and I didn’t like Thumbelina’s plan to get on her good side to save their home. Both of their character developments were weak and unbelievable. Then once the parents were convinced to stop demolition the movie lost all of its dramatic tension. This movie isn’t ‘bad’ per say, just completely boring. Not I understand why I never rewatched this as a kid.

34: Barbie In Princess Power

This movie had so much unrealized potential, but fell apart due to its plot that went all over the place. The villain and his frog were extremely annoying, Kera’s friends were completely one note characters, and Dark Sparkle was so petty and unnecessary. The part that pissed me off the most was how Kera’s identity was revealed to everyone. First off Wes was forgiven for this way too easily, despite it completely making me lose what little faith I had in his character, and secondly her parents handled it so casually. It seemed more like she had gotten in trouble for sneaking out to go to a party than her being forced into getting superpowers and using them to fight crime in the city. Plus the animation was absolutely horrible. What is with Mattel and changing barbie’s model every new movie?

I really wish this movie was better. Barbie as a superhero is such an amazing concept, and it makes me sad to see it executed so terribly.

33: Barbie & Her Sisters In The Great Puppy Adventure

Another movie with the most annoying villains possible. They’re the core reason I couldn’t stand watching this. In addition to that I found that the treasure being under the big willow tree was completely predictable from the first ten minutes of the movie. And even though the puppies were quite cute, their voices were so annoying. There are also a few plot holes (if you can call them that) such as the metal detector app (it hurt typing that) and how the girls knew that scaling the wall of the cave would lead to where the elevator lead. Despite this I still liked learning about barbie’s childhood and all of her achievements, though her grandma was quite creepy.

32: Barbie & Her Sisters In A Pony Tale

This movie straight up has no plot. It’s the worst of the sisters movies in that regard. Many chunks of this movie felt like filler (such as the party scene), and the character conflicts were weak and contrived (such as Chelsey and Staci's). One thing that I really liked about this movie is Barbie’s character, but that’s pretty consistent with all the sisters movies that aren’t Puppy Chase. I also found the two french guys very annoying (is there any sisters movie with a good villain?).

31: Barbie: Fairytopia

I feel bad for putting this one so low, especially considering how high my placements of all the sequels are. It feels like information is revealed to quickly at the beginning and the rest of the movie is just boring. Elina is very interesting but she could use a lot more character development. The part about her being bullied for not having wings was relegated to cheesy dialogue and didn’t really amount to anything. Plus the fungi aren’t nearly as funny as they are in Mermaidia.

The main reason I’m not putting it lower is for nostalgia and setting up the rest of the Fairytopia series. Aside from that I also really liked the vibe of the one underwater scene, and the “friends you haven’t met” line was quite good. This movie is just a complete anomaly in the great track record of early barbie movies. You honestly don’t even need to watch it to understand the sequels.

30: Barbie: A Perfect Christmas

As a musical this movie really sucks. The only song that I actually liked was barbie’s one solo, and even her singing voice there really didn’t sound like her. There’s really no plot to this movie, but I did find myself enjoying the dynamic of the sisters a lot more than the other sisters movies (even though Skipper’s Arc with the concert came out of nowhere and stressed me out). The way Santa’s magic was shoehorned into the story really bothered me though.

29: Barbie Video Game Hero

The best thing about this movie is definitely the side characters. They all had nice designs and personalities, especially Bella and Chris. The concept of this movie is also so creative and fun that I actually enjoyed it way more than I thought I would. I liked it mostly during the first two levels as well as the bonus one, but the last two really soiled it for me. The fact that there’s an open world game with no clear way to win makes no sense in the context of the rest of the game, and the Just Dance advertisements are absolutely cringey. This movie has a strong beginning but really falls behind in the second half. The last scene of the movie really made me want to rip my eyes out.

28: Barbie: Spy Squad

This movie really suffers from not getting the audience to care. The characters aren’t developed enough in the opening and the way the girls got their jobs as spies seemed too easy. The storyline felt too straightforward, and even the plot twist at the end was kind of cheap.

Despite this I still really enjoyed many parts of this film. For one the animation is amazing. I loved the character designs, especially Patricia’s. Speaking of her, I thought she was a pretty good villain, even if she was a little cheesy and her ‘redemption’ arc was very clumsy. I also thought Lazlo was sweet. A lot of modern barbie movies only go halfway with the romance because they don’t want to be seen as bad role models for girls, and a lot of the times the Ken characters just seem unnecessary. I thought it was a good idea to have him be the “love interest” of a non barbie character so his inclusion doesn’t feel useless, even if they never actually got together. It was also just really fun to see all the spy technology.

27: Barbie: The Princess And The Popstar

The placing of this movie is extremely unfortunate since I actually really liked Tori and Kiera’s characters. They both had spunk and I really like the tropes of the roundy princess and the celebrity who doesn’t find satisfaction in fame. The reason this movie is so low comes down to the terrible plot. It felt like they were trying too hard to make it similar to the Princess & The Pauper even though Tori and Kiera’s characters would much better suit a different plotline. The villains were just insanely frustrating and had such unclear motivations. The songs were also pretty bad (other than Here I Am), the Ken character is annoying, and the climax has barely any emotional weight since it wasn’t led up to properly. But hey, at least Tori/Kiera is a high quality ship. If it wasn’t for their relationship this movie would be much lower.

26: Barbie: A Fashion Fairytale

I love the set up for barbie’s character in this movie. She’s just been fired for the first time, Ken broke up with her, and she feels like her life is falling apart. She really reached a new layer of dimension with this movie, and she’s the best barbie as herself character in all of the movies. My main problem is the boring plotline with the flairies. Their character’s aren’t interesting and what they do to the clothing isn’t anything special. This movie also suffers from the boring villains. Barbie’s character is my main reason for liking this movie, along with the Ken plotline, even if it could be quite contrived.

25: Barbie: Star Light Adventure

This is a very weird movie. I had completely different reactions to it during the two times I saw this movie. The first time I thought it was very disappointing. The title said “adventure” so I was very surprised when the characters spent most of the movie training in the same location and we barely got to see any cool new locations. The pace was also extremely slow, especially near the beginning. The second time I started to appreciate the movie for what it is. The animation is absolutely stunning and I love what we saw of the creatures in this universe. Sa-Lee is definitely one of my favourite side characters, and the rest of the team was pretty cool too.

They also added a bunch of new things that I think are very unique to this movie. For instance I loved that barbie’s had telekinesis. She definitely needs more superpowers in future movies. I also liked that we got to see her parents.

My main gripe with this movie has to be Constantine. He was annoying for no reason and I think the movie would’ve benefitted from either having him be nicer and more of a character arc, or having him be a full villain who’s using the team for personal gain.

24: Barbie: Mariposa & The Fairy Princess

As a sequel this movie sucks. It doesn’t cover the same themes as the first movie, we don’t get Elina telling the story, the stakes are nowhere near the height as the first one was, and the characters in the first movie don’t get nearly enough screentime. Willa and Carlos’s part in this movie was underwhelming, but I’m especially annoyed by the fact that Rayna and Rayla weren’t even mentioned once. This all probably would’ve been different had the movie been made closer to the original, and I’m extremely confused as to why they waited to make it in 2013.

However if you disassociate it with the first movie it becomes way more enjoyable. I thought Catania was sweet and lowkey ship her with Mariposa (though it still doesn’t compare to the Mariposa/Carlos/Willa OT3). The crystal fairies themselves were an interesting addition to the universe and their designs were really pretty (I actually wish I was still into barbie at the time it was released just so I could’ve got some of the dolls). The increase in animation quality was also a plus. I’m also so happy that after the first movie Mariposa started running a library. It was such a natural progression in her character arc and it’s so perfect. There are still a lot of problems, such as a villain who feels utterly disconnected from the main story, clumsiness and miscommunication being repeatedly used as plot devices, and the annoyingness that are the puffballs. I’m still glad this movie happened and if you liked the first movie you should definitely check this one out too.

23: Barbie And The Secret Door

Oh boy is this one a mixed bag. It was actually the first "new” barbie movie that I saw, but it definitely did the trick of making me want to watch the other ones.

On the positive side this movie is so pretty. I love all the bright colours and the designs for Nori and Romy. Speaking of which, they were such great side characters, and an adorable ship! I especially like Romy since she was so funny and adorable. Plus, the “what’s a boy?” comment made me laugh. I thought that the world building aspect of this movie was really interesting, even if the animal designs weren’t the best.

On the negative side, I feel like the music was extremely disappointing. It got less annoying on my second watch through, so maybe I just have to warm up to it. I also feel like the villain was boring. This movie deserved a more serious antagonist, especially since we saw how terribly she affected the fairies and mermaids. I did overall like princess Alexa, but I’m kind of unsure about her arc relating to responsibility. I think a lot of modern barbie princess movies in general just aren’t as interesting as the ones that take place in the past.

22: Barbie: Dolphin Magic

What a cute movie. I loved Isla’s so much! She and Barbie were so adorable together. The dolphin’s themselves were quite cute too.

This is a very feel good movie, and it almost makes you ignore its flaws. The main thing that annoyed me is why couldn’t they just pick up the dolphin and put him back in the ocean? He’s not even that big, and there isn’t much distance that you’d have to walk with him anyway. The plot and villain aren’t that interesting either, and the sisters were sometimes annoying (such as Staci’s broken foot having no weight on the plot, and Treasure being absolute garbage). Barbie also seems a little too perfect in this movie, which isn’t even true for the rest of the sister movies and they’re all way lower on this list. I also laughed a lot when Barbie called Ken her “Friend”, since apparently romance is too inappropriate for a barbie movie. Still, if you ignore this and just watch all the Barbie/Isla scenes, the movie is really good.

21: Barbie: Fairytopia: Magic Of The Rainbow

Being introduced to all the different fairies in this movie was so much fun. I love all their different personalities and designs, especially Glee, Sunburst, and Lumina. Elina grew so much in this movie, and it truly is the perfect ending to the trilogy. The flight of spring was really cool too. The only real flaw this movie has is how clumsily Elina’s magic abilities are added in. It almost seems like she knew how to use it all along, even if we know she didn’t.

Also Dizzle is the worst. And that one apprentice’s wings being the braids in her hair was FUCKING RIDICULOUS.

20: Barbie In Swan Lake

This movie is definitely the most legitimately beautiful barbie movie out there. The colours are so nice, the dancing is so majestic, and I’d want to live in the forest any day. Odette is one of the prettiest barbie characters and I love her wardrobe. This movie also has two of the most iconic villains of my childhood who make me laugh every time I think of them.

Despite this I still don’t think this is nearly as good as everyone makes it out to be. First off, Odette’s character arc as the ‘chosen one’ wasn’t executed believably, and she wasn’t even that interesting. The romance was way too instalove-y for my taste (even Rapunzel had a more believable romance than this). The message of this movie was also really unclear in the Chelsey scenes. Overall it’s a great fairytale that I have lots of nostalgia for, but it doesn’t hold up as well when you really dig into it.

19: Barbie: Fairy Secret

I love how Barbie and Raquelle’s relationship is expanded upon in this movie. In Fashion Fairytale Raquelle’s motivations were confusing and she felt very flat. I love how we got to see them forced to work together despite their hard feelings and eventually come to forgive each other at the end once they got to the root of their issues with each other. It’s the ideal enemies to loversfriends scenario.

This movie is just really fun. Exactly what a barbie movie should be. Barbie’s stylist friends were great, and the Ken parts were pretty funny. I do overall like the worldbuilding, though Gloss Angelos looked way to small to even be classifed as a city, let alone the biggest fairy city in the world. It’s like 90% castle and 10% actual city.

In the end I always wish that Barbie, Raquelle, and Ken remembered what happened to them, and that’s the most frustrating part about this movie.

18: The Barbie Diaries

Despite being made by a completely different studio than the other movies (and having a downgrade in animation quality), this movie really holds up today. There’s a lot going on here, and it makes the plot seem way more complex than any other barbie movie. We also get to see into barbie’s head a lot more than any other barbie as herself movie, what with her fantasies that we got to see visualized. This movie is just the perfect blend of magic and normal life, and even if I do prefer the fantasy based barbie movies, this one will always hold a place in my heart.

17: Barbie And The 12 Dancing Princesses

There really isn’t much to be said about this movie. It’s just plain good. There’s nice music, a good plot, a great villain, a cute cat character, and a girl obsessed with bugs. What more could you want?

The only thing I don’t like is the wedding scene. It seemed quite out of place. Their relationship wasn’t that important to deserve the last few minutes of the movie.

16: Barbie And The Three Musketeers

Barbie sword fighting is all I’ve ever wanted in life. This movie really broke the mold for what barbie could do. Corinne is a great protagonist, and the other musketeers were great too (even if their personalities weren’t developed that much). I love how important their friendship was and how easily Corinne integrated into their group. This movie is super fun and just makes me want to scream “GIRL POWER” from the top of my lungs.

There were still some drawbacks though. The prince was annoying, I got so tired of that one sound effect that keep on repeating over and over again (if you’ve seen the movie you know what I’m talking about), the cat was way too immature, and while the villain was good, he was not subtle at all. The movie still had a solid storyline, and I loved how it ended with the girls going on another adventure. *sigh* If only this movie had a sequel.

15: Barbie: The Pearl Princess

Lumina is one of my favourite barbie protagonists. She just felt human in a way that not many others do (even though she’s technically a mermaid, not human). She was naive, but not stupid. I loved seeing her react to a world she hasn’t seen before. This movie had such a unique approach with her aunt Scylla. Her aunt may have done something completely wrong, and she admits to that, but Lumina doesn’t ignore the way aunt Scylla has cared for her and loved her over the years. She accepts her found family and her biological family at the same time, and lets her have a chance at redemption. In addition to that I really loved Lumina’s pre transformation outfit. It’s my second favourite barbie mermaid outfit next to Nori’s in Mermaidia.

I also liked how much the animals of this movie felt like active members of society, and had intelligence levels equivalent the mermaids. I’ve never really seen that in a barbie movie, at least to this extent. Kuda was a great animal sidekick who really felt like one of Lumina’s true friends. I also like how Spike looked dangerous but was a real softie on the inside.

There are a lot of other elements of this movie that I liked too, like how sweet Fergus was, and his love of botany. I liked the gag about Caligo thinking he’s being poisoned, and being paranoid about which cup he’s gonna drink from. Even if the Ken character wasn’t utilized much, I liked his dolphin friend. My only complaint is that the climax was a little messy, and I didn’t enjoy Caligo as a villain that much.

14: Barbie In A Mermaid Tale 2

This worked very well as a sequel to the original Mermaid Tale. Eris’s return as a villain felt very natural, and this movie continued to have Merliah feel like a genuine teenager with her own dreams and mood swings. The only reason it’s lower than the first one is because the plot isn’t as all encompassing and it doesn’t feel like Merliah’s life has changed as much as it did originally, if that makes sense. The plot also feels a little too fast at times, but the pacing doesn’t affect the movie drastically.

Kylie was a wonderful addition to the cast. She was mean, but you could clearly tell that it came from her insecurities about her own talent. I cannot emphasize how well her conflict with Merliah was developed. I loved their banter at the beginning and how they came to understand each other at the end, to the point where it didn’t matter who won the competition. It’s just.....SO GAY. I love it.

Speaking of which, Fallon and Hadley were both really cute in this movie too, more so than the first one. I just love how little men there are in the Mermaid Tale movies.

13: Barbie: Princess Charm School

Last time I watched this movie a few years ago I absolutely hated it, but after rewatching it again my opinion has completely turned around. The plot of this movie may still be very basic, and the supporting characters, Princess Isla and Hadley, were very one note, but it’s the strength of the Protagonist, Blair, that really makes this movie. I love seeing her determination in an environment she’s not used to, and how selfless she was even when she’s surrounded by selfishness.

Also can we appreciate how dark this movie was? Dame Devin literally MURDERED Blair’s parents in a car accident. It’s not like that hasn’t happened in any other movie, but in this one the tone just feels a lot more jarring.

I really appreciated Delancey’s character development. She seems so cold and unforgiving at the beginning, but as more information is revealed to her she changes for the better. She was raised in such a negative environment and I can’t help but be proud of her. Her friend Portia was also really funny too. I love the “YOU STOLE MY CAKE” scene.

12: Barbie As The Island Princess

Is there anything better than crazy island girl characters who talk to animals? I think not.

I love Ro’s animal family. Azul and Sagi are essentially Ro and Tika’s dads, and it’s adorable. Azul’s peacock sounds are just absolutely ridiculous, and I love it.

The music of this movie was also soooooo good. Words cannot describe how The Rat Song makes me feel inside. On a more serious note, I Need To Know is absolutely perfect. I love the visuals that go along with it. And just when you think it’s over, Ro’s part ends and Prince Antonio comes in AND IT’S SO PERFECT. Love Is For Peasants is also the best barbie villain song in any movie. “You need to stop reading those books. Filling your head with thoughts!” ICONIC. The soundtrack of this movie isn’t as good when listening to it outside of the context of movie when you compare it to stuff like the Princess And The Pauper, but it’s still really good nonetheless.

The romantic element of this movie was also really good. I think this is the first time on this list that I’ve listed the romance as a positive aspect. Ro and Antonio are just really compatible people who fulfill very essential parts of themselves when they meet. This may be an unpopular opinion, but I also love Tika’s development in regards to their relationship too.

The villain was pretty okay, but I especially love princess Luciana. She may be a romantic rival to Ro, but she’s a victim too, and she’s given a very sympathetic role in the story even if her mother is the villain. Her arc was very satisfying.

11: Barbie In A Christmas Carol

Not really a typical barbie movie to list as one of my favourites, but it’s a christmas essential for me. Having Barbie be Scrooge was a very risky move, but god, did it pay off. Eden was cruel, but her story is so sad. I always feel her fear when her aunt disrupts Catherine’s party. This is definitely another one of the darkest barbie movies.

Also, GHOSTS. Ghosts should have been in more barbie movies. They all had cool concepts and designs, mainly Aunt Marie and the ghost of christmas future.

Catherine was such a joy to see in this movie. She’s a very kind and selfless person, but her friendship to Eden puts her in conflict with that side of herself. Seeing her fulfilling Eden’s role in the vision of the future was actually kind of scary. It makes it all the more satisfying when Eden apologizes to Catherine in the end. I really love their friendship.

Christmas Carol was always one of my favourite christmas tales after I watched the Mickey version, and I think this movie did it justice (thought it was slightly less traumatizing than that, thankfully).

10: Barbie In The Nutcracker

Even though I’ve had a copy of this for the longest time I never really took the time to watch and appreciate it. And now that I have I’ve gotta say that this was a great start to the barbie saga. The producers still hadn’t settled on making barbie movies the way they’re known for now, and you can tell by the lack of female characters and a few of the 2D sequences, but the sense of adventure this movie has is so unlike any movie that came after. And despite the limited resources they had for animating it still ended up looking stunning. They animators had such a good sense of colour, and all the landscapes looked amazing.

Before watching this I always thought that The Magic Of Pegasus had the best (canon) romance of any barbie movie, but now I actually think that this may be better. Clara and Prince Eric have great chemistry and such a believable bond. The last dance scene was amazing and it so was heartbreaking when Clara was sent back to the real world. I love the scene when Eric visits Clara’s house and confirms that it wasn’t all a dream.

Also, I really appreciate Clara’s decision to stay in the magical world. So much media, including barbie movies, puts emphasis on people staying with their family and choosing more stable environments. What writers don’t realize is that that’s boring. We don’t watch movies to learn about people’s normal lives, and I’m so grateful that this story ended the way it did. So yeah, thanks writers.

There were also many scary moments here too. The rock monster is TERRIFYING. Maybe the reason I don’t remember this movie is because the rock monster traumatized me so much I had to repress it. The Mouse King was also quite creepy. I wish newer barbie movies committed to making scary villains like him.

9: Barbie In A Mermaid Tale

I probably have the most nostalgia towards this movie since it was always my sister’s favourite growing up. Now it’s one of the only barbie movies she’ll watch with me other than the sequel. I expected to not enjoy this movie as much since I’d kind of exhausted it by this point, but I guess I surprised myself.

As I mentioned in Mermaid Tale 2, Merliah feels like a genuine teenager. She likes her normal life and hates responsibility. Because of this her arc of deciding to save her people feels so much more genuine and poignant.

The world building of this universe is just so good. The plot with Calissa and Eris was great, and I love the scene where Merliah is picking out a tail. The world just looks so pretty and magical, even if magic doesn’t play a huge role in this film. The soundtrack sets the scene so nicely, and Queen Of The Waves is definitely one of my favourite barbie songs.

8: Barbie In The Pink Shoes

This is definitely a huge unpopular opinion, so I should get all the negatives of this movie out of the way first. The animation of the faces is extremely creepy, Kristin was very irresponsible to decide to change her routine up at the last minute, and she would’ve worked much better as a choreographer than as a dancer. Despite these flaws there’s still something about this movie that makes me love it.

For one, despite the creepy faces, the dancing animations were still pretty good. And even though Kristin’s arc wasn’t the best I still find her final dancing scenes (the one in the ice palace and the one on stage) to be so inspiring. Keep On Dancing is such an amazing song and it gave me chills the first time I heard it. The movie is also quite pretty. The ballet outfits aren’t as traditional as ones in earlier barbie ballets, but they still have flare and nice colours.

The movie is also really funny. It makes fun of the ballets it covers a lot. I love the “you don’t look a day over 16″ part. The two suitors especially, Hilarion and Prince Albrecht, were so funny. I loved how their petty jabs at each other turned into compliments when faced with adversity. Hayley was also pretty funny since she was the realist of the movie.

I think the irl characters were used very nicely in the ballet world, and I liked how when Kristin got back it turned out that everything wasn’t as bad as it seemed before. Tara wasn’t as mean and Madame Natasha wasn’t nearly as scary. That’s one of my favourite tropes in fiction.

7: Barbie & The Diamond Castle

Liana and Alexa are basically a married couple. There is literally no way to refute this. Their arguments are adorable and domestic, and they clearly love each other more than anything in the world. They may have their differences at times but when it comes down to it they know each other more than anyone else does and work together so nicely. Every aspect of their lives is intertwined so much that separation usually isn’t an option for them. My heart broke when they parted since I knew that that was how Lydia would defeat them. I cried when Liana came to Alexa’s rescue, and the movie ending with them going to back to their normal house instead of staying at the diamond castle was beautiful. Truly the best and purest barbie ship.

Now that that’s out of the way let’s talk about everything else. The plot of this movie is so unique. There is no other barbie movie that’s about music itself. The muses and their drama and betrayal with Lydia was so intriguing. Seriously, Lydia was a scary villain. I was terrified of her as a child. Liana and Alexa seemed like they’re helpless against her powers, and it feels all the more victorious when they defeat her. The last fight scene was truly epic.

I really appreciate how little Liana and Alexa care about the two twins. They’re my least favourite part of the movie, and even if they do start working with them later on in the movie it’s made very clear that they don’t care about them at all.

6: Barbie In Rock ‘N Royals

I really didn’t have high expectations for this one. It was after I had watched The Princess And The Popstar and Secret Door, which both gave me a bad feeling about barbie pop musicals. But this movie really came through and made itself my second favourite barbie musical movie, and my sixth favourite overall.

The only thing I disliked was Courtney’s weird facial design. That’s it. The rest of the movie is basically perfect.

The movie started off at a relaxing pace but I was never tricked into thinking it would end that way. I love the Camp Pop vs. Camp Royalty plotline. Finn and Lady Ann seemed simple at first but their past was revealed at the perfect time. Clive was hilarious and him becoming the real villain was executed so well.

Seeing Courtney and Erika react to the camps was a delight. Their friends were so quirky and nice to them, and the camps themselves were pretty fun too (UNICORNS). Them finally meeting at the beach was such a breath of fresh air. I could imagine them becoming great friends in the future (cough sequel cough). Erika was probably my favourite of the two since she just looked really cool and had a more interesting arc. I just love it when two groups of people who have seemingly nothing in common come together to achieve a common goal. Also I have a theory that Sloan and Princess Olivia were in love the whole time, and the competition was the first time they could smile around each other without being ridiculed by their peers.

Now, onto the music. My favourite song is probably Gotta Get To Camp. I was shocked at how good it was. The choreography was also the most interesting since it was the only time the characters spontaneously burst into song. When You’re A Princess is also such a bop.

This is definitely the first movie I’d recommend to any classic barbie fan who wants to try out some of the new ones.

5: Barbie: Mariposa & Her Butterfly Fairy Friends

This is probably the closest to a perfect barbie movie you’ll get. The protagonist is very relatable, the supporting cast is great, everyone has good development, the world is scary yet so fascinating, and the villains are amazing. Also it has a non barbie protagonist. Having Elina narrate the story was such a great decision. Mariposa really sticks out in the long list of barbie protags. Her transformation scene near the end was so great. It fits the theme of the movie so well and I think that anyone can get inspiration from Mariposa’s journey.

When it comes to characters everyone is so much fun. Carlos is another one of my favourite barbie love interests, even if the movie didn’t commit to the romance fully. He and Mariposa have their love of reading in common and they like each other for non superficial reasons. Willa is also adorable and sweet. It would be very interesting to find out how she and Mariposa met, since they’re so different, yet they’re close friends nonetheless. Rayna and Rayla are both quite interesting cases. When they first showed up I rolled my eyes and thought they’d be tossed out of the way very soon, but they continued through the story and changed as people. They gained respect for Mariposa, and vice versa. Henna was also pretty cool too.

The setting was so interesting too, more than any other Fairytopia movie. Every place looks like it has danger lurking, and he characters genuinely felt small next to the landscape. One of my favourite things in this movie has to be the absolutely horrifying Skeezites. I remember playing the DVD game as a kid and having nightmares about it later.

4: Barbie As Rapunzel

This is probably the scariest barbie movie. Unlike other scary ones like Mariposa and Diamond Castle there’s such an aura of misery and helplessness to this movie that is like no other. Gothel is the main reason for it. The tower just looks so dark and every scene in the normal world has such tension surrounding it. It makes me even more emotional when Rapunzel finally frees herself from the tower.

All the paintbrush scenes are integral barbie moments for any kid growing up. I remember being fascinated by her art, and by how hope came to Rapunzel in her worst moments. We don’t get a real answer to how the paintbrush came to be, but it doesn’t feel necessary. It’s just so beautiful.

I love the animal sidekicks in this movie too. Penelope is so adorable, and I love how she, like Rapunzel, found the courage in herself to stand up and disobey her father. And having a dragon be one of the good guys was a really risky move for the second barbie movie, but it payed off so well.

This was truly an ethereal movie.

3: Barbie And The Magic Of Pegasus

This movie definitely has the most riveting original plot of any barbie movie. Wenlock was a terrifying villain and Brietta’s story is so sad. Plus, barbie standing up for Wenlock’s wives at the end basically invented feminism. I love that it’s about an ice skating barbie, and all the skating scene were so fun too.

Shiver is also adorable. I had a lot of the dolls as a kid and the only things I have left from them are the Shiver toy and the Wand Of Light. Speaking which, that wand was so epic and pretty. The movie was just so aesthetically pleasing.

Annika is another one of my favourite barbie protagonists. Like Merliah, she genuinely feels like a true teenager who's rebelling against her strict parents, and she learns a great lesson. Aidan was also a great mirror for her and when I was younger they were my favourite barbie couple. They have lots of good banter and I really buy their relationship development. I especially love the ice dancing scene at the end.

This movie is a barbie essential for me. It represents so much of my childhood. I used to watch this movie obsessively and it’s just as good now as it was back then.

2: Barbie: Fairytopia: Mermaidia

This is kind of an odd choice for my second favourite barbie movie. This one used to be my #1 favourite before I rewatched the one coming. I was obsessed with mermaids and fairies as a kid and no other movie captured my imagination the way this one did. The land of Mermaidia is so pretty and reminds me of everything I dreamed about as a kid. It also gave me Nori, my favourite non barbie character in any barbie movie and one of my biggest childhood crushes. I love how her sass comes from her insecurities about Nalu, and how she and Elina start to like each other once they see past him.

Elina/Nori is also another contender for my favourite barbie ship. They have nice banter (and I’m sure by now you all know how much I love that) and I love the scene when Elina sacrifices her wings for a tail to save Nori (that’s totally my favourite scene in any barbie movie). I wish we got more of their relationship in Magic Of The Rainbow, but I guess that wouldn’t have fit with the movie. Oh well.

This movie works very well as a sequel, while also being better than the original in every way. We had the same villain, and we got to see a part of the Fairytopia universe that we only saw a glimpse of in the first one. After Elina got her wings it only feels natural that the possibility of her losing them again is explored, as well as the prospect that maybe she doesn’t need wings to be herself. And compared to the original movie the stakes have been raised much higher, we have more reasons to care about the characters, and it’s so much funnier. The fungi annoyed me in the first movie but in this one they made me laugh constantly. And this movie wouldn’t be complete with the amazingness that is opera Bibble.

This movie doesn’t have the best plot, but it doesn’t suffer from it either. It’s one of those movies that just makes me feel relaxed and at peace (other than the Depths of Despair scene, though at this point I’ve seen it enough that it doesn’t phase me as much anymore).

1: Barbie As The Princess And The Pauper

We all knew this was coming. No other barbie movie comes close to this classic. It’s gonna be hard to describe why I love it so much since everything that’s amazing about this movie has already been said a thousand times before, but I’ll give it a go.

Anneliese and Erika are amazing characters. They may come from different social classes but they both have the shared experience of not being able to fulfill their dreams. This movie is so good at showing you how trapped they feel, yet still their duty to their lives never waver. My mom has an interesting story about how she got into this movie. She initially thought that barbie would be a terrible role model for me and my sister until she saw The Princess And The Pauper. Anneliese and Erika are clearly very complex protagonists who have interests outside of romance and are active participants in changing their destinies and saving the kingdom. Especially with Erika, who decides to achieve her dream of becoming a famous singer before getting married to King Dominick.

This movie has a bunch of nice relationships too. Anneliese and Erika click with each other so well and respect each other’s troubles without downplaying their situations due to the class difference. The romances were both nicely developed too. Erika and Dominick may have fallen in love over the course of a day but I appreciate how much he likes her stranger side (like when he walked in on her singing to her cat lmao). Anneliese and Julian’s relationship feels especially believable since they’ve known each other for a very long time. I also really like that they waited for Erika to come back before getting married. OT4 goals.

Preminger is a barbie villain like no other. The rest of my top ten has been dominated by scary and serious villains, but Preminger is just so funny and dramatic compared to them all. He’s the only barbie villain that has became very well known in pop culture.

All of the songs in this movie are so iconic. I think that’s the biggest strength of this movie. I'm constantly listening to music and the soundtrack is a great way for me to take this movie everywhere I go. The Cat’s Meow is a beautiful song, Written In Your Heart feels so inspiring, I Am A Girl Like You is great character study, If You Love Me For Me is a beautiful and tender love song, How Can I Refuse? is an iconic villain song, and Free is a great introduction to the characters, as well as my number one favourite barbie song. Every song has something special about it and that makes it one of the most memorable movie soundtracks ever for me.

I also love the cats Serafina and Wolfie. They’re two of the best animal sidekicks in any barbie movie since they feel a lot like the human characters. THEY ALSO HAVE SO MANY BABIES IN THE END FUCKING GOD.

I hope you all enjoyed my ranking. Feel free to comment with your favourites and least favourites, just be aware that this is all personal to me and really says nothing about the objective quality of each of these movies.

#barbie #barbie movies

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literarygoon · 5 years

Photo

So,

When trans rights activists began to mobilize in opposition to feminist thinker Meghan Murphy's appearance at the Toronto Public Library in October 2019, I was only half-interested in the controversy. Several literary figures I admire had become swept up in the pseudo-religious fervor, and I was shocked to see them enthusiastically championing censorship. I figured this person they were protesting must be some ghoulish anti-intellectual, spewing hate speech and vilifying marginalized communities. I assumed that a quick Google search would result in a list of published works worthy of this sort of opposition, or maybe news items about her provocative past.

Imagine my surprise, then, to learn that not only was Murphy innocent of the hate speech accusations she was being doggy-piled with, she was actually advocating on behalf of marginalized populations and rape victims — something I'm personally passionate about. Her highest profile dust-up was with a pedophile trans activist named Jessica Yaniv, a true villain if there ever was one, and now she was facing death threats for publicly questioning whether convicted child killers who self-identify as female should be allowed in women's prisons. As far as I could tell, she was a strong-willed social crusader making a real positive impact in the world.

So how come everyone was treating her like the Antichrist?

In the week leading up the event, I followed the controversy via Twitter and began to educate myself on the subject being discussed: trans rights. I learned that this new slur "TERF" is an acronym for "trans exclusionary radical feminist", though it was being used as a catch-all for anyone who disagreed with their rhetoric, and it wasn't immediately apparent what trans people were being excluded from. I learned that "dead-naming" someone means using someone's name from before they transitioned (like calling trans icon Caitlin Jenner by her birth name Bruce) and that there were a few koan-like mantras everyone felt strongly about: "Trans rights are human rights" and "trans women are women."

As I engaged on Twitter, posting a few comments and questions, I became increasingly aware of how toxic this discourse was. These trans rights activists were looking for people to crucify, drunk on self-righteousness, and were incapable of having a nuanced conversation about this new worldview they were wielding like a weapon. As I consumed their vitriol, following accounts on either side of the spectrum, it occurred to me that all of this anger wasn't only being funnelled towards anti-trans bigots. It was also sliming well-meaning leftists who weren't sufficiently up to date on how this conversation has been progressing (learn your acronyms!) and people blissfully unaware that this esoteric social justice battle is even happening. According to their standards, not only was I a TERF but so was everybody else in my family, from my toddler niece all the way up to my grandparents. We all believe in something we've been taught since childhood, biological sex, and that makes us the enemy.

But how could I make my own position known without offending and alienating the trans people in my life who I love, regardless of how I feel about this new gender ideology? Could I oppose the indoctrination while embracing trans people themselves? Was there some sort of middle ground I could take, where I could express my support and love for them while simultaneously refusing to drink the Kool-Aid?

Then the big night came. By this point the Toronto Public Library scandal had taken up three or four days of my attention, and I remained glued to social media so I could follow every development. I read an extremely thoughtful prepared statement by a city councillor named Gord Perks and thought "finally, a voice of reason!" only to see his contribution written off and misrepresented. Hundreds of people took to the streets, necessitating a police presence to keep the audience and speakers safe. Videos posted on Twitter showed this hate mob, led by Governor General Award-winning author Gwen Benaway, shouting violent epithets at cowed women while pretending they were the victims. These bullies were out for blood, and anything less than full surrender wouldn't satisfy them.

The thing that struck me the most during all this was that the two sides of the political spectrum were arguing different points. While one side was insisting that Meghan Murphy deserved free speech, the other side was arguing about the perceived content of her talks as they pertained to trans rights. They weren't meeting anywhere near the middle, because they weren't even having the same conversation. The result of this was that trans rights activists were passionately mobilizing certain nuances of their worldview, and demanding these tenets be accepted, while the other side was simply saying "let her talk". The protesters had smeared her as an anti-trans speaker, though that wasn't how she self-identified. For a movement so obsessed with self-identification, this was a huge blind spot. Just like misgendering someone, they were accusing her of being something she's not.

As the think pieces and news articles began to come out in the following days, I read opinions from both sides and searched for even a shimmer of mutual understanding. This divisionary rhetoric was going to have devastating consequences, I figured, including within the literary world. And if people were continuing to be scared into silence for fear of being mobbed like Murphy, how could we ever have a meaningful dialogue? Who would be the next person to inspire one of these hateful clown parades?

This was the headspace I was in when I came across a story in Flare written by Benaway in which she narrates her experience addressing representatives of the library during a feedback session leading up to the event. With purple prose, silly histrionics and self-aggrandizing rhetoric, she singles out Head Librarian Vickery Bowles (who didn't speak a word during the exchange) and accused her of being transphobic simply for supporting free speech. In the most embarrassing passage she repeatedly challenges those present to tell her which bathroom she should use, which is so off-topic it comes off as nonsensical. I couldn't take it anymore. I left a comment under the article, calling Benaway "so dishonest" for misrepresenting Bowles and Murphy, and accused her of "tilting at windmills, hard."

This was it. The first public stance I'd taken on the issue. I knew that nearly every literary figure I was associated with on Twitter probably disagreed with me on principle, and would probably only experience this as some privileged white dude punching down on a poor trans activist. That being said, I really believed in what I was saying and legitimately believed trans rights activists who were vilifying librarians and feminists needed to be fucking stopped. I felt a twinge of vertigo as I let go, allowing myself to tumble head-first down this howling rabbit hole. I'd heard that these activists are militant, sometimes going after people's livelihoods if they disagree with you, but I was feeling ready for a fight.

It was around this time that a Twitter account started retweeting some of my comments, tagging my employer Humber Literary Review, adding melodramatic captions about how I was a trans-hater. This Internet stranger made me uncomfortable, but I didn't engage, comfortable in the knowledge that my editors had known me for five years and understood I was incapable of hatred. Anyone who took a moment to read my timeline would see that I wasn't a zealot; I was just a newbie to this particular conversation, trying to make sense of what was going on in a respectful manner. Also, I wasn't interested in having a conversation about trans rights -- the issue is hardly relevant to my day-to-day life -- I was interested in talking about Meghan Murphy's right to free speech, a right that had been thoroughly trampled for no good reason.

One thing that occurred to me was that the library protest ultimately had the opposite effect of what was intended. Rather than silencing Murphy, they'd elevated her to a new level of prophet-like prominence. I'd never heard of her before, but now she was being profiled in newspapers and discussed all over social media. I'd gone from having no idea who she was to being one of her most ardent fans, keen to hear what she was up to next. And pretty soon there were titans of the entertainment world stepping in to take her side, including J.K Rowling and Ricky Gervais. The haters tried to silence her but instead set her on fire, leaving us all to watch her dance wreathed in holy flames.

Then they came for me. Three days after my comment on the Flare article, which inspired a long back and forth with a Toronto poet, Humber contacted me to say that I no longer had my position as interviews editor. According to them they were restructuring, but we were in the middle of an issue and that made no sense. I sent a few exploratory emails, one proposing a book project that would be a collection of the interviews I'd done over the years, and I was mostly met with silence. Was it possible? Would they actually pull something like this? Would they take sides with the trans mob over me? And why?

The way I figured, if the move to take away my position was actually motivated by my Twitter interactions then their real motive was both to shut me up and to distance themselves from me professionally. The hate mob who had attacked would be waiting for word that I'd been turfed, and I wouldn't give them that satisfaction. For the following weeks, and then months, I made sure to routinely tag Humber in my posts, reminiscing about my interviews of the past and looking forward to the one that hadn't yet been published with Yasuko Thanh. I sent my editor an email and asked her to retweet some of these posts, which she said she would, but then didn't. I started escalating my rhetoric, criticizing trans activists and calling out their bonkers nonsense, all with Humber's twitter handle nice and prominent in my bio.

Finally, just before the holidays, vindication came. The founding editor of Humber Literary Review, Meaghan Strimas, contacted me to say that the collective had "grave concerns" about my Twitter content (even though she admitted she rarely uses the platform) and then demanded I remove her magazine from my bio, even though my interview with Thanh had not yet been published. Her email confirmed all my concerns: they had a staff meeting without me to discuss my conduct, they took issue with my views on trans rights, and they were hoping to make an example out of me. It was two weeks before Christmas and they were picking a fight with one of their employees for no good reason. The positive relationship we'd enjoyed for half a decade wasn't enough to shield me from their poorly researched dogmatism.

I knew what to do right away: I alley-ooped the email, and a bunch of screen-shotted Twitter posts, to a journalist named Anna Slatz. She was an active participant in the trans rights conversation, and had appeared at an event in Vancouver in which activists showed up wearing a guillotine for TERFs. She was just as outspoken as Murphy, I knew, and would be just as infuriated by this turn of events as I was. This was a minor freelance gig for me, but what if it was my main livelihood? Would they come after my other job next? My fiancée was six months pregnant with our first child and now I had to worry about these pitchfork-wavers? Slatz was thorough, professional and tactful: within 24 hours my story was live on the Post Millennial website. Watching the story rack up engagements was one of the most vindicating feelings of my life.

Within hours I was contacted by the Justice Centre for Constitutional Freedoms. I'd heard of them through the Yaniv debacle, and I was thrilled to learn that their potential involvement in my case would be free of cost. I took them through what happened over the phone, step by step, and revelled in how appalled they were. I wasn't the only person who thought these activists had gone too far, targeting people's jobs and smearing them in public. They told me that if it went forward my case would have the potential to affect a huge number of people's lives, perhaps setting a precedent that would dissuade these clowns from using sinister tactics like this in the future. And I wasn't the only person this was happening to -- online there were examples of people like Maya Forstater, who lost her job for saying that biological sex is real, and others who lost gigs for something as simple as retweeting a gender critical account.

The stress and sudden attention from all this hoopla had me panicked. I was worried both about my employment, and for the financial future of my baby. As my case drew the attention of names I recognized, like Jordan Peterson, I worried that I would be submerged by this trans rights tidal wave. I knew my misgivings were shared by many, both in the literary world and everywhere else, but people were too afraid to speak the truth. For a few nights I couldn't sleep. I didn't feel like fighting; I just wanted to be left alone.

But then I began to reflect on what actually mattered. I have a number of trans friends who are intensely important to me, and it's them who are suffering the worst consequences of this toxic rhetoric. As activists continue to over-reach and inflame controversy, the blow-back is hitting people who would just like to quietly go about living their lives. They don't believe in some of the more ridiculous aims of these activists, like plugging biological males into female sports or subjecting female prisoners to the company of murderers hiding behind self-identification. They're just as embarrassed by the Gwen Benaways and Jessica Yanivs of the world, and believe just as strongly as I do in Meghan Murphy's right to free speech. They don't believe in vilifying strangers, or taking away their jobs, because that's the purview of idiots and assholes.

As J.K. Rowling recently wrote on Twitter: this is not a drill. The time for ignoring or being complacent about the trans rights conversation has passed, because it is now doing real harm not only to trans people, but also everyone else. With my daughter en route to Earth, I want to create a future where this dystopian rhetoric is a thing of the past, and I don't have to worry about her being indoctrinated into a worldview where biological sex doesn't exist. I believe that inclusion is non-negotiable, and that trans people should be embraced and supported, but that should never come at the expense of people who reject their ideology or have beliefs of their own. It's possible to love someone even if you think their worldview is nonsensical, and trying to speak sense to them is the opposite of hate speech.

You could even call it love speech.

The Literary Goon

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fallen029 · 5 years

Text

Weird

“I bet you thought that Mirajane would be here.”

Laxus blinked. Once. Twice. Then shrugged his shoulders.

“I mean,” he began slowly, hands in his jeans, rocking back on his feet some as he stared with a blank expression into the eyes of Lisanna Strauss, “you told me to come to the storage room at three, ‘cause your older sister wanted to speak with me. So yeah, I’d say I was.”

“Well, jokes on you!”

Again, he blinked. Just once. Rocked on his feet instead of shrugged. The blank expression was much the same though.

“I mean,” he went on, sounding bored, “not much of a joke. At most, just a lie. I’m assuming. Unless- Is Mira behind that box over there?”

Lisanna didn’t even glance over at it as she continued to beam victoriously up into the slayer’s eyes.

“Nope,” she sang, popping the latter half of the word on the tip of her tongue.

“Great.” He turned that time, on his heels, headed right back for the door. “See ya.”

“Wait!” Annoyed now, Lisanna moved to grab his arm. “Where are you going?”

Laxus only frowned down at her. “Back to the fucking bar. And don’t fucking lie about your sister needing me again.”

“Why? ‘cause it plays at your love-struck heartstrings?”

“No.” And he shrugged her off then. “Because I’m an important mage, Lisanna. I don’t have time for whatever stupid things normally take place in this bar.”

“You were drinking with the Thunder Legion.”

“I’m way too far above you, Lisanna, for you to judge my actions.”

“Your ego, maybe, but-”

“Don’t,” he warned once more with a glare, “pull this shit again.”

“But don’t you wanna hear why I asked you to-”

“No.”

“Laxus- Hey, come back! If you don’t then...I’ll tell Mira that you’re being a massive bully to me. She won’t like that. At all.”

“I don’t,” he grumbled over his shoulder, “care.”

And bleh, Laxus had to be the worst guy in the whole hall for her sister to fall in love with.

See, Lisanna, like most other people, was immediately weary over the idea of her sister and the slayer dating. For obvious reasons. Even removed from the basic ones, such as guild relationships turning nasty when they inevitably fell apart, worsened still by the fact Mira and Laxus were two of their top wizards and Fairy Tail couldn’t stand to lose either, but also because, well, Laxus was super weird.

“He’s not...super weird,” Lucy hummed some when the pair discussed the guild’s most recent dramatic happening. “Just… I mean, it depends on your definition of super.”

“He fits my description,” Lisanna assured her and the blonde hummed because she was trying to keep an open mind about all this (and she also wasn’t completely certain the Thunder Legion weren’t lurking around, waiting to beat anyone up that shared their discouraging thoughts about their idol).

This hardly bothered the youngest Strauss, however, as she found herself voicing this same thing to the Thunder Legion themselves, one day when she was filling in at the bar for her sister as Mirajane took off early, on a date with Laxus. Bleh.

“He is not super weird,” Freed defended, sounding much more forceful on the topic than Lucy had been. “At all.”

“Eh, I dunno about that one,” Bickslow snickered, tongue dangling from his mouth as his babies floated all about. “We’re all a little bit weird, yeah? And the boss, oh, man, the boss is, like, twelve times as great as the rest of us. The better the person, the weirder the person.”

“Can’t be right.” Evergreen hardly glanced up from filing her nails though she did nod at her glass as Lisanna went around the table, offering refills. “Because you’re not much of a person at all, Bickslow. And you’re the weirdest one alive.”

“Cut me deep, yeah?” He pretended to sniffle, the man did, as his babies moaned. “Maybe I’m special.”

“Oh, you’re plenty special.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, Ever?”

“Exactly what I said.”

“Laxus,” Freed spoke over his two counterparts bickering, “is not weird, Lisanna. If anything, and do not take this the wrong way, your sister...well...”

“Oh, yeah, she’s major weird.” Lisanna hardly cared for that portion of things. “But in the right ways. Unlike Laxus.”

It felt like that should be the standard response of most people. And it pretty much was, as she waded her way through drinking, not nearly as much of course, with Cana one day, who found Laxus to be super-duper weird (or maybe she was just slurring her words again…) and even sitting in through a round of cards with Macao and Wakaba, though they might have just been kind of jealous.

Which was weird in it’s own right.

“What would Mirajane even want with a weirdo like that?” Happy huffed as she and him sat in the grass together one day, not lifting a single finger to help Natsu as struggled with his fishing pole, down by the stream, wrangling in a super big fish for their lunch. The other slayer hadn’t said that he thought Laxus was weird, mostly because Lisanna didn’t want to mention Laxus’ name too loudly around him, for fear she’d have to listen to him gripe about wanting a fight with him. Happy’s endorsement to her opinion was enough. He even insisted some then, the Exceed did, “Mirajane needs a real man!”

The realest men of all real men had his own apprehensions when it came to Mirajane’s new love interest, but still, Elfman told it as true to his youngest sister as he could.

“Don’t really matter, how weird we think he is,” Elfman sighed one night over the poor attempt at dinner the pair of them had attempted to make as Mirajane, instead of being around to either cook it for them or bring them something home from the hall, was out with the slayer in question. Staring pitifully at his plate of burnt meatloaf, he remarked, “There’s only one person who’s opinion matters. And she’s the biggest man I know!”

Lisanna figured Laxus didn’t agree much, with the end of that, but she did find one day, as she laid in her older sister’s bed one night, following a successful date, both giggling and giddy, just how much Mirajane actually found Laxus to be, well…

“Oh, he’s the weirdest man you’ve ever met,” Mirajane agreed after Lisanna, once her giggles died down, found herself voicing this opinion to her older sister only to find it completely founded in fact. “He, like, obsessively shines his boots. Or has one of the Thunder Legion do it. And he insists on going out on his motorcycle, at least once a month, even though he gets violently motion sick from it. And he’s very serious about his hair- It’s kind of annoying, actually. Vain about it, almost. And-”

“Then why do you like him?”

There.

That was it.

The bunt version, at least.

Lisanna had never found it in her to just flat out question her sister on this, not in the few months this had all been developing and it would be rude, really, for her to list to others just why Laxus was all wrong for her sister. So she didn’t. She tried to draw it out of them.

It never worked.

But it was on Mira.

Mira could go on forever about how ‘weird’ Laxus was. But she only smiled when her sister stopped her from doing this with a question.

“That’s a completely different thing, Lisanna. Why I like him.” Mira hummed some, as they laid beside one another, her staring up at her ceiling and her younger sister, off to her side, only staring up at her. “There’s a lot of reasons, actually.”

And it wasn't about what Mirajane listed. Some of the reasons felt generic and just part of that early relationship bliss. Some were deeper, maybe, and more meaningful. But they all blurred together, regardless, as what stood out to Lisanna instead was her sister’s tone of voice. It wasn’t familiar, really, to Lisanna, even though what they were doing at the moment, giggling about guys, certainly was.

No.

When Mirajane spoke about Laxus, really, truly, spoke about Laxus, well…

“I just,” Lisanna griped that day, down in the basement storage room, where Laxus was annoyed, thinking she’d drug him off down there to, well, really he wasn’t sure what she was doing, but if Mira wasn’t even in on it, then he wanted out of there and fast, “called you down here to tell you something. And you’re never alone, at the hall. Or when you are, you put your headphones in and mean mug everyone and that’s kind of rude, you know, and you should really-”

“What,” he griped, tone harsh and heavy, but still, he paused as he spoke, on the basement steps, “did you want to say to me? Lisanna?”

“Just that…I like that you’re with my sister. A lot. Because...I think that she really likes you. Even though you’re super weird. And… Just don’t hurt her, you know?” Blushing some, as she meant for this all to go in a much more lighthearted direction when she tricked him into speaking with her, Lisanna kicked at the ground then as she added, “And also, you know, if you ever wanted to hang out with me, say, by the stream? On Thursday afternoons? When Natsu isn’t out on a job? That wouldn’t be inconspicuous and certainly wouldn’t be a trap to get you to fight him or anything-”

“Didn’t ask for your bless, kid, about your sister and me.” Still, Laxus was just standing there, midway up the stairs. Sighing some, his shoulders fell and his tone fell back to the void one as he glanced over his shoulder, down there at her. “And beside, I’m not the fucking weirdo.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re the one trickin’ guys into comin’ down to the dank basement with ya. Masquerade with guys as your sister a lot, do ya?”

“Shut up, Laxus! You big jerk!”

She stuck her tongue out at him as the slayer merely snorted and started up the stairs once more, leaving her alone, down in the basement, alone.

But feeling better, at least.

Not nearly as good as she did, however, the following weak as, this time, Happy and Natsu found it better to bicker amongst themselves as she sat, bored, holding the fishing pole and hoping for a bite.

It was swift, the change in air. It went from a light, breezy, lazy spring afternoon to suddenly a static filled air and she heard it before she saw it. The loud crack of thunder as a lightning bolt raced through the air, strike Natsu, who had no time or wherewithal to ready himself as, only moments before, he’d definitely been wining his argument with his little buddy.

Happy yelled as Lisanna expressed surprise, but Natsu only fell to the ground, twitching as electricity bounced off his body, all his hairs standing on end.

“Laxus!” Happy cried out as, not struck and yet frightened, he dove for Lisanna’s protection as she only jumped to her feet, watching as he came then, from out of the shadows, walking passed them, headed deeper into the forest.

“Passin’ through,” he remarked simply and, from the pack on his back, it was clear he was headed for a new job. “Then I see you weirdos here, mucking up Magnolia’s best fishin’ spot-”

“Weirdos?” Happy growled some, from the safety of Lisanna’s arms. “You’re the the weird one, Lax-”

“What ya say, cat?” And he paused then, the blond slayer, just to glare over at them as, finally, Natsu’s twitching stopped.

Nothing. At all. But as Happy coward with fear, Lisanna, slowly, began to smile, raising one hand to wave at Laxus.

“He’ll really appreciate it,” she assured the older man who only snorted, hiking his bag further up his shoulder as he kept on, deeper into the forest. “Thanks, Laxus!”

He didn’t tell her not to mention it.

He felt like it was heavily implied.

#Miraxus #Lisanna Strauss #Mirajane Strauss #Laxus Dreyar #Fairy Tail #Fanfiction

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loopy777 · 5 years

Note

If you were told to write a spiderman series, with the regular high school/college love triangle shenanigans involving the usual ladies of Peter's life, only with the twist that in the end Spiderman/Black Cat would be the actual couple of the series, how would you go about writing them? Also what do you think the good and bad things about a series focused the ship would be?

(Sorry for the delay. The most recent chapter of Traitor’s Face insisted that every single thing I wrote for it needed to be completely rewritten at one point or another.)

Huh, now this is a new idea. It reminds me of how the 90’s animated series started with Felicia Hardy, no Black Cattiness at all, as the main love interest. And for some reason she was a cheap knock-off of Gwen Stacy for something like four seasons. I can only guess that they came up with the character first, and then stuck a random name on her from the comics.

However, if they *did* start with the idea of using Felicia, I understand how they wound up having to add so much to the character. The first big problem with the concept is that she essentially doesn’t have any character besides being the Black Cat. So anything that tried to make her the winning Love Interest would either need to bring Felicia into Peter’s civilian life and flesh her out as something more than a costumed adventurer/criminal/hero, or make the focus of the stories on his life as Spider-Man. You know, maybe do something like the Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon and make him a pro-hero all the time.

The second big problem is the Black Cat’s weird status with her powers. If she doesn’t have any powers, she’s just a Catwoman knock-off. For a short while she had generic Cat powers, but that’s nothing that’s going to put her on the map. Her ‘true’ power, as far as I’m concerned, is her Bad Luck thing; it plays well on her full theme, it’s fairly unique, and it’s something that can be presented in a dynamic way, with her opponents continually encountering ridiculous bad luck as they try to impede her. But there’s no real origin for those powers, is there? She got them from Kingpin (in a story I haven’t read) and as far as I know the exact method by which he gave her those specific powers isn’t known; it’s incidental to plot point of her going to Kingpin in the first place. So a full, meaningful origin would have to be invented for those powers, too.

The final thing that needs to be created for the Black Cat is a reason to stick around long-term. She dips in and out of the comics because, when she isn’t romantically involved with Spidey, there’s really no reason for her to be in the story. She pursues her own goals, which can take her away from Spidey’s drama.

With all that in mind, here’s a possible scenario I came up with to answer the question.

Set during college years, Felicia and Peter are childhood friends, once being part of a Three Amigos thing with Flash Thompson before Flash became a bully. All three came from messed up histories, with Peter being the orphan raised by his aunt and uncle, Flash having an alcoholic father, and Felicia having something more complicated that we’ll get into. What Peter doesn’t know is that Flash turned against him because Flash fell in love with Felicia, but she had feelings for Peter. Peter never noticed because in high school he was a total nerd who didn’t feel lovable, and after that he was too distracted by Spider-stuff.

Anyway, Felicia’s backstory is that her family was super-poor until her father started working for the Kingpin as a spy, enforcer, and coordinator/boss of Kingpin’s thieves. Their family had to hide that Daddy was involved in organized crime. After Felicia got into college, though, things became more strained, as her father couldn’t deal with all the super-heroes who have been chipping away at Kingpin’s empire, especially that insufferable Spider-Man! But Kingpin has made a deal with an evil scientist (maybe Norman Osborn, maybe the Jackal, maybe even Doc Ock) who has developed a counter for Spider-Man: a 'Bad Luck’ power that’s actually an unconscious psionic defensive ability to alter the immediate future. It’s a direct counter to Spider-Man’s Spider-Sense, which is an unconscious precognitive defensive ability.

For reasons, this can only be given to one person. Perhaps having too many Bad Luck people around compounds the effect? Or maybe Kingpin fears the power’s subtle nature, and doesn’t want to pass it around too much. Perhaps a few other limited people are given the power, but they only come into the story on rare occasions, like when Felicia needs to deal with a Shadow Archetype.

So Felicia becomes the Black Cat, and becomes an apprentice to her father. She battles Spider-Man, but isn’t entirely committed to the idea. She’s a good person, and doesn’t like the Kingpin or the way his empire hurts people. But she’s loyal to her family, and if she doesn’t do something about Spider-Man, her dad will be killed. She’s also juggling her college like, because she wants to eventually get out of being a criminal.

This all gets complicated when Felicia’s Bad Luck ability sets into motion a sequence of events that end with her finding out that Peter is Spider-Man, with Spidey unaware.

So we settle into our storytelling engine, where Spidey encounters some crime or adventure. If it doesn’t involve the Kingpin, then Black Cat helps him out because she wants to protect her buddy Peter. If the Kingpin is involved, Spidey and Black Cat can find themselves on opposite sides; in those cases, Black Cat obviously is trying to hold back against Spidey, and because he can sense this, he holds back against her, too. He even becomes rather taken with her.

This frustrates Felicia to no end, for obvious reasons.

Throw in the complication that, in their civilian lives, Flash is dealing with his family history and trying to be a better person as he goes through college. He tries again with Felicia, who both feels bad for him and is frustrated that Peter is more interested in her alter-ego. And there’s the outgoing Mary Jane Watson who seems interested in Peter, and he in her.

A change in the dynamic can happen if Peter discovers Black Cat’s secret identity. Perhaps he doesn’t realize that she knows who he is, and she doesn’t know that he knows about her in turn, so hilarity ensues as they’re both unaware that they could end all these complications with a very simple conversation.

Another 'end of an era’ switch-up can happen if the Kingpin gets taken down, but not necessarily Felicia’s father with him. I like the idea of replacing Kingpin as the big bad with Norman Osborn, and Osborn discovering Peter’s identity can mess around things. Perhaps Felicia’s father even teams up with Osborn, dragging her into the conflict. The love triangle could be messed up by Harry Osborn getting involved and pursuing Felicia or the Black Cat- or both!

I’m thinking we also need to eventually do something for the Black Costume Saga, so that Flash has the opportunity to become Agent Venom and get involved in the super-heroics that his childhood friends are perpetrating. It would be interesting if Agent Venom is working for SHIELD or somesuch government agency, and both Spider-Man and Black Cat can be wanted felons by that point, so they’re both fighting Flash without realizing it. Bonus points if Flash’s superiors include a corrupt character who is running a criminal sideline.

I’m keeping to the spirit of this idea as a comic book, so I don’t have a definite endgame. Obviously, Peter and Felicia would have to become fully aware of each other’s identities and knowledge. Perhaps Flash’s death is what inspires them to finally try to commit to each other, or else the defeat of a major villain, which might wind up being Felicia’s father as their ultimate enemy. I don’t think I’d have them give up their superheroics afterward, but it probably depends on all the drama and trauma they’ve suffered through at that point. Since the speculative scenario is that I’m writing a real comic book with this storyline, I need to keep my options open for either getting canceled after twelves issues or going over a hundred.

The main appeal of this kind of series, I think, is that the female lead gets to be involved in both the civilian soap opera stuff and the superhero drama. It’s always hard to get the love interest involved with the superheroics, Lois Lane being the exception to prove the rule. In every other case, I loathe it when the Reporter job is used, because it feels so derivative of Lois.

The main weakness of this series, I’m thinking, is that excuses have to be generated to keep Spidey and Black Cat from just talking things through and teaming up. Their relationship needs to remain in a constant state of volatility, although sometimes at a low simmer, and that can become contrived.

Also, as shown by my plans here, the end-ship is going to be telegraphed from the start. I think it’s futile to try to make the Black Cat a dark horse in the romantic race like Mary Jane was, because MJ’s success was an accidental result of many contributing factors, including the transition from Stan Lee to Gerry Conway as the primary Spider-Man writer, and then the promotional mandate that had the newspaper comic strip’s marriage between Peter and MJ forced on the main comic line.

Also, I’m not one for real love triangles in fiction. Done right, it just seems like a good way to alienate at least half the audience at the end, while being done poorly is just going to make the ending obvious anyway. It’s fine to throw in spoilers every now and then, but any romance I write is going to end in a predictable way, and the audience is just there to enjoy the ride.

#thekingofwinterblog

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sepublic · 4 years

Text

Eda and the Blight Family

Before we start, I think it’s safe to say that Amity isn’t adopted. Aside from the fact that her parents would be way too elitist and bigoted to do that sort of thing… Amity’s resemblance to her mother is uncanny, they’re dead-ringers for one another! And we know brown hair runs in the family from her father, so…!

I have to wonder which parent married in? MAYBE Mr. Blight, because his hair looks a bit messier than his future wife’s, so maybe he wasn’t as prim and proper and of ‘noble’ standing as her…? It’s a stretch. Either way they’re both awful, but have also been around for a LONG time as well…! Like, unless their parents specifically set them up to do it from childhood (which would not shock me), those awful two still nevertheless probably enjoyed each other’s company as kids!

Also, it’s obvious that Mr. Blight isn’t the Abomination Head! We see him as a kid when Eda and Lilith are, yet we know that the Abomination Head was an adult who assisted Belos in his rise to power some years prior! Of course maybe it’s GRANDPA Blight who’s in charge of the Abomination Coven, hence both Blight Parents being in that track… But I digress! My point is, it’s not Mr. Blight!

They were also THERE when Eda stood up against the Coven System, and as if by some cruel twist of fate just so happened to transform into a monster immediately afterwards… GOODNESS I can see how conceited Mrs. Blight is, no doubt snickering behind Eda’s back, probably contributing to bullying and actually thinking that Eda deserved this! Mr. Blight, from his expression LOOKS like he could’ve been a more apathetic dude… But obviously not anymore, as we see in Understanding Willow!

I have to wonder if Eda and the Blight Parents ever actually interacted as children in any meaningful capacity, or if it was just them being in the same room as one another and noticing the other’s presence, and quietly reacting whenever something big went up? How did the Blight Parents feel about Lilith, Eda’s ‘better’ sister, who they may as well have trusted to tutor Amity, their Golden Child? Goodness, did the Blight Parents contribute to Eda’s bullying and torment for the curse!?

Did they ever tell their children about Eda and Lilith? Did the Blight Parents set down their kids and tell them about Lilith, the proper, GOOD sister who is responsible and joined the Emperor’s Coven, and showed her unruly sister what was right… Versus Eda, the outcast and troublemaker with ideas, who was punished by the universe itself by being transformed into a monster?!

What kind of horrific slander did they spread of Eda, speaking of the curse like it was her fault? Did the Blight Parents have some sort of sick and twisted respect for Lilith in that she proved herself better than Eda… That she was the golden example, the one who didn’t fall from the intended path and was rewarded as the Head of the Emperor’s Coven, while her rebellious sister only suffered?

No doubt, when Eda the Owl Lady became a reputed criminal, the Blight Parents made sure to make it VERY clear what had happened that day, potentially even exaggerating a detail or two, making it obvious just how much of a savage Eda is… And, I think it says a lot. That when Emira and Edric meet Eda for the first time, they just do NOT bat an eye whatsoever at her! That at most they’re interested in her admittedly unorthodox method of teaching, but there’s no judgment on their part and Edric is even willing to give Eda’s advice a try!

Like, those twins still suffered a LOT of abuse and absorbed plenty of toxicity from their parents, but. It’s clear from the way they approached Luz and embraced her as a friend immediately, that they do NOT care what their parents have to say about others! That if their parents have a bad opinion of someone, then that person is probably cool, that they’re defiantly telling off their parents by happily minding the presence of the freakish Owl Lady they had warned so much against! It’s just so open-minded, and while obvious Emira and Edric may have been too critical of Amity and her less open mind, it still speaks so much of their characters and how they just don’t mind other people!

And Amity… Alas, Amity’s demeanor seems to become more cold and closed-off when Eda becomes more apparent. I’d always noticed that, which makes sense- She likes Luz, but Eda is a Wanted Criminal and Amity still has her things to unlearn! But coupled with what her parents like said of the Owl Lady, and…!

Honestly, it says a lot just how much those kids have managed to grow and defy their parents. To ultimately accept this alleged ‘freak’ that they no doubt heard cautionary tales and stories about, of a witch who was punished by the universe itself for going down the wrong path… For ultimately accepting Eda! Specifically, how Amity and Eda share that small moment during Grom, where they regard one another, and make it clear that regardless of any preconceptions or feelings, Luz is in danger and they both agree that they love her!

And then Amity sees how unconditionally loving and accepting of Luz that Eda is. She sees how safe Luz feels around her, so much more safe and open than Amity has ever felt around her parents. And so when her leg is broken, her visiting the Owl House and being accepted by Eda, because Eda KNOWS that Luz likes her… It says so much how Amity has grown! How much she’s rejected and unlearned the ‘Blight lineage’, alongside her siblings! That maybe she doesn’t exactly want to be like them, but in a way Amity still followed in the twins’ footsteps, namely down the path that mattered!

And I can only imagine how it’ll turn out, when the Blight Kids side with Eda. When their abusive parents bring up the curse, and warn them that all three will likely be transformed into monsters by the universe as spiteful karma for their wrongdoing! And as scared as they are…

The Blight Kids KNOW that won’t happen (especially since Lilith opened up about the truth), and they keep going on anyway. That they don’t know much about this funky Owl Lady, but if people like their parents and Belos hate her, then clearly she’s got something good going on; Especially since they feel safer and more accepted by her than by any other adult they’ve come across!

And finally… It says a lot of Eda. That the Blight Parents, who likely contributed to her mistreatment, to her feelings of being a freak who deserved to be hated and despised… She sees their kids, and while she rightfully has reservations, she just. Quickly accepts them as family, gives them a spot and a home if they ever need it!

No doubt Eda is operating under the correct assumption that the Blight Parents are abusive, if her memories of them as children are any indication… But still. Amity, Emira, and Edric were born of those two awful individuals, but Eda still gave them a chance to be individuals, because that’s what she always does, letting people embrace who they are REALLY, separate from what the Coven System or anything else may insist upon or dictate!

That those kids have definitely been influenced toxicly by their parents, but they’re still kids and they’re still their own people! That Eda isn’t going to project her anger onto them, that she isn’t going to expect them to fit a specific standard laid out by their bloodline… Nah, she just gives these kids the chance to be who they really are! And the Blight kids recognize this, and are just… SO enamored by this funky Owl Lady! The twins especially, knowing she had to have been great if their parents hated her so!

Imagine the Blight Parents raising their kids, warning them of Eda the Owl Lady, telling them that they wouldn’t want to be like her… When in reality, that’s EXACTLY who those kids want to be like, no doubt partly in defiance to their own parents’ abuse!

#the owl house #owl house #the owl house amity #amity blight #the owl house edric #edric blight #the owl house emira #emira blight #the owl house eda #edalyn clawthorne #speculation

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imaginedanganronpa · 6 years

Note

Can you please do some headcanons with Romance novelist Shuichi, Archer Kaede, Tattoo Artist Ryoma and Botanist Himiko? You can give them slightly did personalities and backstories from canon.

You didn’t specify whether or not you wanted them to be written as Ultimates, but I did it that way. I hope you like it! I also really loved these and I think it suits them very well, especially Saihara and Ryoma!

Romance Novelist Saihara Shuichi, Archer Kaede Akamatsu, Tattoo Artist Ryoma Hoshi, and Botanist Himiko Yumeno Headcanons!

Ultimate Romance Novelist Saihara Shuichi

Shuichi started living with his uncle because his parentsnever made the time for him. His uncle was an author and playwright himself, sohe grew up around books.

A lot of his uncle’s work were murder mysteries, detective novels, and so on –those never struck his interest. But he always read his stories to show hissupport, struggling to follow the plotlines and keep interest, though.

He didn’t want him to know that he was actually more drawn to romance becausehe thought it was girly. His parents criticized him for reading romance novels,so Shuichi brought them to school instead. But not too long after, his peersalso started bullying him for reading romance novels.

He never seemed to catch a break until his uncle caught him reading oneafternoon. Thankfully, he was much more supportive in his interests. From thenon, he never forced him to read any of his novels and instead taught Shuichihow to write himself.

It’s thanks to his uncle that he learned how to become a great author.

Due to the bullying and rough childhood, Shuichi is very timid and hates publicspeaking. It took him a long time to publish his first works, which were shortromance stories. He wrote the characters to resemble himself and a longtimecrush but would never admit to this.

His short story achieved massive success and only positive reviews. Shuichistarted working on his first novel that day, which received the same amount ofsuccess. He became a critically-acclaimed romance novelist as a teenager andthe rest was history.

He lacks self-confidence and doesn’t think his work is special but he’s gladthat it makes people happy.

He is very serious when it comes to his work, and humble as well. WheneverShuichi feels depressed, he writes and it becomes his main coping mechanism.

Shuichi is very intelligent and comes up with unique, smart, and quirky plotsand twists.

Girls seem to fawn all over him due to his status as a romance-novelist, but Shuichi is shy and doesn’t know how to reciprocate feelings. When he does find romance in his own life, he takes it seriously and weaves it into his stories. In a way, his stories are a reflection of his own feelings.

Ultimate Archer Kaede Akamatsu

Kaede discovered her love for archery when she was a youngchild. She, being a firm and devoted kind of person, would practice her skillsall the time; so much so that Kaede would sometimes forget to eat or sleep.

She was the President of her school’s Archery Club, and it quickly became herbiggest passion. Ever since she was able to hold a bow, she was doing it.

She has acute eyesight, more advanced than the average person, which is part ofthe reason why she’s so talented.

Originally, Kaede’s family offered to takeher hunting which is where she started practicing. Her family would go out andtake her hunting even when she was just a couple years old, so it’s somethingshe’s always been around.

But Kaede is just too compassionate. The first time she shot an animal, shestarted crying. She was also never drawn to firearms and always felt much moreconnected with the bow. It seemed to just… call out to her.

Kaede has performed in front of many well-known archers before, including the formerUltimate Archer who graduated from Hope’s Peak many, many years before her. Heswears that she’s more talented than even he was.

She’s known as an ‘Archer Freak’ and no one messes with her since they knowwhat she can do with a bow. Kaede would never shoot a person, though.

She has such a strong leadership personality which is why she is the Presidentof Archery at Hope’s Peak. She’s a well-respected leader that everyone looks upto. Sometimes, she can come across as a bit too pushy; but that’sbecause she only wants to see her friends and club-mates flourish.

Kaede is quite optimistic. Rarely does she ever miss a shot, but if she doesshe always laughs it off and tries to not make a big deal out of it.

She dresses in typical archer fashion, consisting of boots and fur-jackets, with her bow and arrows strapped around her back. Kaede also wears a feather in her hair,

Ultimate Tattoo Artist Ryoma Hoshi

They say everyone has a gift, and Ryoma’s calling was art.He was constantly drawing and creating beautiful pieces of artwork ever since hecould pick up a pen. Even as a young child, it was his favorite thing to do.

He resorted to petty crime to afford funds for school which caused him to dosome jail-time. While in prison, Ryoma continued to draw but learned the art oftattooing. He noticed that the other inmates were covered and he… was not.

Ryoma, wanting to feel welcome and similar, decided to allow the other inmatesto give him prison tattoos. He has since covered them up with nicer ones aftergetting released but still cherishes the memories they hold.

While in prison, he not only got tattooed but learned how to do so. This becamehis favorite form of art and now his passion and career, and he’s been tattooing eversince.

Ryoma gained infamy when he began tattooing ex-felons and prisoners for free,covering up their poorly done prison tattoos with no charge. He became well-knownand respected because of it and earned enough in donations to open-up his ownshop as a teenager.

His hard past and time in prison turned him into a cold man. He had a dry senseof humor and lost a lot of his loved ones after doing time. He considershimself a hard, stone-cold person and doesn’t really get close to people anymore. Hisclosest thing to a friendship are his frequent clients who are on a first-name basis.

Ryoma has a piercing look and a harsh sense of justice. He will turn the coldshoulder to people whom he thinks deserves it. He fell into a fit of depressionand sometimes misses his former-self, but finds a reason to live in his art.

His favorite tattoos are the meaningful ones, particularly about family sincethat’s what he no longer has. He also loves animals, especially cats, and has agreat love for them even after turning cold. Because of this, pet tattoos arealso among his favorites.

Deep down, he still has faith in life. Ryoma loves having philosophical conversationswith his clients while they are getting tattooed.

Ultimate Botanist Himiko Yumeno

Himiko was always bullied for being different,due to her personality and mannerisms. Because of this, she turned to plantsand botany for comfort.

Her family comes from a long line of botanists, so she’s always been around it.Himiko was raised and taught the art as a child, originally her parent’sapprentice. She has a green thumb and knows how to nurture her beloved plantseven from the brink of death.

While she isn’t necessarily lazy, she does procrastinate. That’s why her plantsand flowers often die, or get close to it, but she’s always somehow able to bring them back healthily.

She was the self-proclaimed Ultimate Botanist even before she actually receivedthe title. Himiko often grew plants as gifts for people which some thought wasweird, but she insisted that her talent at taking care of plants was simplymagical.

She was accepted into a very advanced organization of botanists from around theworld, the youngest person to ever do so, that not even her family has beenaccepted into. She also won the Botanist of the Year Award, exceeding her family’sexpectations and surpassing them in terms of talent.

Now her gift-giving passion has reached out globally and she has anoverwhelming amount of clients wanting to buy her seeds and plants everywhere.

Himiko finds great pride in making people happy with her beautiful flowers. Herfavorite are the red flowers that resemble her hair.

She also tries to love them all but refrains from growing sunflowers andother tall plants and flowers because they make her feel even shorter than whatshe really is, which is something she’s very insecure about.

And Himiko falls in love pretty easily. So, what does she do? Grows bouquets ofbeautiful flowers, of course! She’s quite gullible so if she even suspects thatsomeone likes her, even as a joke, she’ll give them beautiful flowers andsloppy handwritten notes to try to impress them. A lot of people seem to thinkthis is quite dorky, but she appreciates the romantic gesture.

She gets quite defensive when someone claims that botany isn’t a real talent,and that anyone can do it. Himiko insists that you have to have the rightpersonality and passion for it.

- Mod Rantaro

#danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #danganronpa imagines #ndrv3 #ndrv3 imagines #killing harmony #shuichi saihara #saihara shuichi #kaede akamatsu #ryoma hoshi #himiko yumeno #talent swap

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dereksmcgrath · 3 years

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How can a chapter feel simultaneously rushed and incomplete?

“Rest!!” My Hero Academia Chapter 327. By Kohei Horikoshi, translation by Caleb Cook, lettering by John Hunt. Available from Viz.

Spoilers for Chapter 23 of Blue Box.

Last weekend I wrote how the pacing was bizarre for that weekend’s releases of some Jump serials, not just My Hero Academia (as I’ll get to in this review) but also other publications like Magu-chan and Blue Box. And, spoilers for Blue Box, jeez, that pacing at the end of the newest chapter this weekend was odd--but at least odd in a way that heightens interest in the story, as opposed to odd in My Hero Academia where this chapter felt incomplete.

I wish I could say that was the reason I am delayed writing this review, but it’s not. A lot of other tasks (webinar, job applications and interviews) and writing projects (working on some “Episode 7 Rule” posts, getting some more stuff published) took up time before I could share this review. But because Chapter 327 feels incomplete, the fact that I also get to use today to read and write about Chapter 327 helps to round out an actually finished installment to this story, so my delay ended up being serendipitous.

(And make up your own joke that I needed to take a break before reviewing a chapter titled “Rest!!”)

But before we can get to what was complete in this story, we have to muck through this chapter, which still feels incomplete.

That’s not to say Chapter 327 is bad. I mean, some of the art looks a little off to me, especially Tokoyami and Mina talking after All Might leaves the dorms. And I could debate how valid that quotation in the image above is, but I think Izuku’s face already reveals that, no, self-care only takes you so far, when societal improvements are not being made so that, in his world, children are not having to take on the fights adults refused to, whereas in my world...children should not have to take on the fights adults refused to about climate change, bigotry, police violence, sexual harassment and violence, poverty, hunger...

...God, this manga about supervillains got sadly realistic, and I hate it. Izuku’s face up there is the look of someone who has seen some shit, and one bath is not going to help.

As with that one chapter of Magu-chan, the seams of the story are showing, and that hinders how I personally get enjoyment. It’s one thing to see how a story is put together and appreciate how well that works, from a critical perspective or if you’re trying to imitate such story practices in your own writing. But it’s another thing when you see the way a story is put together because something just isn’t connecting the parts of that story well. After how great the previous chapters have been with the slow-burn to Izuku’s return to UA, Ochaco’s speech, and actually seeing Izuku getting heartfelt welcomes back by Kota, that giant woman he rescued, and that starfish hair guy all the way from Chapter 1, the rest of this chapter feels rushed. It’s not like you could drag out a lot of this stuff: there’s only so much time you can have Izuku and the boys bathing. But there is so much to fit in: cleaning up Izuku, seeing how his classmates react to his return and his secrets, All Might’s arrival, what this means moving forward to stop Shigaraki, and what is up with Endeavor and Todoroki’s side story. It’s a lot--and nothing really feels like it gets what it needs. Just to tease out every last feeling every last classmate has to Izuku keeping his Quirklessness and One For All a secret would need a light novel chapter per character.

And speaking of the My Hero Academia light novels, at least I can give some points to Horikoshi, though, for doing a better job writing the boys bathing than Mineta peeping on the girls, or that inane joke in one of the light novels--in which the boys see who can last longest in the hot bath, because that tired exhausting trope of “kids do dumb things.” Ugh, at some point, I’m going to write about how to handle writing young people well in a story so it’s not that ridiculous trope of “young people make dumb mistakes” that some writers use to move the plot along. The only example I’ve seen where that works lately is Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun, and that’s because it doesn’t feel like those mistakes are to keep the plot moving but actually something innate to a character’s sense of justice or sentiment that, while foolish, is in competition with actual stakes, pros and cons, and part of the character’s core ethics, not just something ridiculous to get from plot point A to B. That light novel gag felt very much like “the boys have to do something stupid,” as opposed to “this is something that would make sense for the boys to do.” But I digress.

So, why do I give points to Horikoshi for this version of the bath gag? Because, as I am trying to say about Hanako-kun, this makes sense for how the characters would act, and moves the plot along. Bakugo struggling with what to call Izuku makes sense; Bakugo still being his rival makes sense; after how much character progression he has thankfully made by now, this late in the series, it makes sense that he is still going to regress to previous behavior. I’m grateful he regresses without verbally bullying Izuku (your mileage may vary whether he is still bullying him, though, and I’m open to being wrong on that point) and without physically attacking him (Bakugo cutting into Izuku’s head as a gag in the recent anime episode is still not funny).

But then the students ask about One For All and what Izuku has been going through--and we don’t get much more knowledge. Todoroki shuts down that discussion by saying he needs to get some sleep, so, again, that forestalls any discussion until probably some chapters in a future light novel.

Izuku is not ready for sleep yet, though, as he worries about how he treated All Might earlier. I’m not going to disagree that Izuku was not being kind to All Might, but what I appreciate about the moment is that, and forgive my phrasing, from both sides, it makes sense: Izuku was not as polite as he should have been but hardly as grimdark as many readers feared he would, and All Might was doing something kind for Izuku but has been failing to reach out to him. All of that character dynamic works.

But what hasn’t worked is how quickly their reunion and apologies are. It reminds me how quickly All Might insisted, after losing One For All for good, that he would be there for Izuku--and really wasn’t. All Might refused to introduce Izuku to Nighteye; All Might kept secrets about all that One For All could do; All Might was not there during the PLF Fight, and he knows he cannot be in the same role for Izuku while he’s playing vigilante. The apologies keep coming but aren’t really getting anywhere for these two characters, not before Izuku just passes out from exhaustion. There’s a lot left for these two, so no wonder people take that death flag from All Might peering in from the window to think he’s going to die soon and only then will he and Izuku have any meaningful resolution. Granted, the next chapter is going to go into more detail about All Might’s vestige inside One For All, so he won’t be quite dead, but that death cheat just makes this inability to resolve anything between the bad teacher and the disobedient student all the more frustrating.

At least Caleb Cook continues to translate some good gags out of Mina, such as when she criticizes All Might’s departure. But that only reinforces how empty his apologies feel when he speaks to the class, especially when he again has to run to pass on his intelligence to the police and probably Endeavor, which also makes all of this all the more infuriating because you would think that would be his first priority. I get the point of being there for his student--even if I still don’t think All Might has been--and it does characterize him well that of course he would go to his student first instead of passing on the intelligence from Stain first. But it also makes me want to shake All Might and tell him to get the intelligence to the police, given what we learn about it in the next chapter. So, again, the seams of the story are showing: Horikoshi delays revealing what All Might has learned until that chapter is ready to share with readers.

And that news from Stain is probably going to disrupt any of Jiro’s plans for a concert, and, yeah, after a weekend in my real world where concerts got more attention than reproductive rights marches throughout the United States, you’ll forgive me if I don’t care much about this plot point. Heck, comics, as a silent medium, invoking music, has always been a bizarre choice for me: that works for the animated series, but for the comics, it’s hard to translate that auditory medium to a visual one.

Then we wrap up the chapter with an exposition dump about Stain’s intelligence. When I first read this chapter, before Chapter 328 came out, this felt like an abrupt ending. Realizing this ending leads naturally to the next chapter, to show what Stain was up to at Tartarus, doesn’t make it work any better for me. Invoking the “we have one month to stop Shigaraki” rule, only to break it in the next chapter and reveal they have three days, is a more cynical method of the “don’t cross the streams” rule from Ghostbusters: this exists to set up a rule to then break it so that the protagonists’ chances of success dwindle further.

It bothers me because I have seen this done better elsewhere. The final season of Avatar: The Last Airbender wraps up with Zuko learning the Gaang has decided to wait until after Sozin’s Comet, thinking they’ll have a better chance. That makes sense, and while the Gaang’s plan is a final-episode reveal, it fits with their strategy: Aang couldn’t take on the Fire Nation when it was depowered, so taking them on when they are fully powered and he hasn’t perfected his fire skills is a practical approach. Then Zuko reveals that the deadline has to be moved up, because his father will take over the world during the Comet, something Zuko didn’t tell them until now because he already thought the plan was to stop the Fire Nation before the Comet, so why would scaring them help? This was a failure of communication on the part of both parties, and it introduced the rules--”Wait until after the Comet” and “No, attack before the Comet”--at the same time that it disrupted those rules, so we as the audience were not manipulated for a cynical gotcha moment. And that’s what My Hero Academia has done.

For the longest time My Hero Academia kept repeating that Shigaraki would need two months to increase his power. In the next chapter we learn they overestimated that time, and they got three days left. This feels rushed, as rushed as how this chapter was to wrap up Izuku’s return to UA, All Might’s apology, and the Class 1-A reunion. And I just didn’t like it. More was needed to give this chapter some meat, and it just isn’t here. The next chapter, thankfully, is better, given some payoff to what this chapter sets up, as well as a hint of things to come, but on its own, this chapter is like the first half of an anime episode, rather than a complete package.

#my hero academia #manga review #mha spoilers #izuku midoriya #all might

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princesssarisa · 7 years

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Beauty and the Beast (2017): How It Could Have Been Better

Let me start by saying this: I like the live-action Beauty and the Beast. For the most part, I think it’s well done. It can’t replace the animated version, but it’s good. That said, there are a few things I wish had been done differently. With a few changes, this version could have come even closer to equaling the animated version. If I had been given the screenplay to write a final revision before the movie was made, here are some of the changes I would have made.

1. Put more emphasis on “Belle the inventor.”

For something that got so much emphasis in the press, this aspect of the “new” Belle gets surprisingly little emphasis in the actual movie. It’s just used in one sequence to highlight that she’s “different” and give the villagers a way to bully her. My revised version would highlight it more. I’d include a more extensive scene of her building the washing barrel before she uses it. I’d have other inventions of hers in use around her house. I’d have the villagers and Gaston disapprove of her being a female gadgeteer. Instead of having the villagers bully her for teaching a girl to read (which, as many people have pointed out, has no real basis in 18th century France, where most women were literate), I’d have them bully her because they think her washing barrel is a ridiculous invention and will lead girls into trouble by giving them too much free time on their hands. Instead of Maurice going to the market to sell his own music boxes, I’d have him take an invention of Belle’s to a fair, highlighting how fully he supports all she does. This could also reinforce his new arc of learning to be less overprotective of her: she could beg to come along, since it’s her invention, only for him to insist she stay safely at home. But most importantly, I’d incorporate her inventiveness throughout the movie, not just the beginning. Why not let her escape from the castle after the West Wing incident by climbing down the ladder she made from Mme. de Garderobe’s gown? Why not let her, not Maurice, figure out how to pick the asylum wagon’s lock? (The callback to Maurice’s music box-building scene is cute, but still…) Near the end, why not show Plumette and the other castle maids using Belle’s invention to do laundry, freeing them to join the dance? I’d just like to give this new aspect of her the same emphasis onscreen that it got in the pre-movie press.

3. Have Gaston, Lefou, and/or the villagers say some nasty things about Maurice early on.

I have nothing against the new version’s less-wacky characterization of Maurice, but it does feel a bit less natural that Gaston should so easily convince the whole town that the new Maurice is insane… especially since until he makes his claims about the Beast, there’s no hint that anyone considers him odd the way they do Belle. So I’d like to have some equivalent of Lefou’s “That crazy old loon!” line from the original. Someone disparaging Maurice as a silly “starving artist” who needs to get a “real” job, or something like that. I think I’d especially like this disparagement to come from Gaston and Lefou, as per the animated version, and have it figure into Belle’s rejection of Gaston. Instead of just warning Belle that she’ll be left penniless if her father dies before she’s married, I would have had Gaston (or Lefou, in an attempt to help him) argue that he can provide for her better now than her “starving artist” father can. I don’t mind the fact that the new Gaston is less overtly boorish and more of a Nice Guy™ at first, especially since it helps deflect accusations that the Beast is a Nice Guy™. But judging by some of the comments I’ve read about the new Gaston online (“He actually respects her in this version!” “She’s so rude to him!” etc.), the writers might have made him a little too likable for his own good. More reason to dislike him from the start wouldn’t hurt, especially if it helps to set up Maurice’s later scenes too.

3. Give the Beast back his early hints of inner decency.

I appreciate what the movie tries to do with the Beast – keeping him almost as mysterious to us as he is to Belle at first, letting us warm up to him along with her, not before her, and giving neither her nor us much reason to believe in his inner goodness until the game-changing scene where he saves her life. But as a side effect, we lose one of animated versions’ best defenses against accusations of Stockholm Syndrome: the fact that the animated Beast never really treats Belle like a prisoner. With only minimal urging from Lumiere, he gives her a comfortable bedroom, lets her go anywhere she likes except the West Wing, encourages her to think of the castle as her “home,” and assures her that his servants will attend to all her needs. Not to mention his guilty expression when he sees her crying and his instant remorse after he scares her away from the West Wing. Even the “You will join me for dinner!” incident is more of him treating her as an underling than as a prisoner, per se. I would have liked to see the live-action version keep all those things intact.

4. Make the Beast’s backstory less stereotypical.

Unlike some people, I don’t mind the fact that the Beast’s new backstory “woobifies” him, but I do mind how stereotypical it is. “His good, loving mother died or left when he was small and he had a dysfunctional relationship with his father” is THE stock backstory for troubled, moody young males, from Prince Zuko, to the young Ebenezer Scrooge, to James Dean (granted, he was a real person), to various YA novel examples, and more. And do we really need another Mother in the Refrigerator besides Belle’s?

In my version, we’d learn that his parents both died young (in the same plague outbreak that killed Belle’s mother, though we wouldn’t learn that detail until later). Mrs. Potts would reveal that she and the other servants were left to raise him, but that they treated him like their master instead of like a child, giving him neither enough discipline nor enough love, and did nothing as they watched him turn hard and bitter. Then, instead of showing the young Prince at his mother’s bedside, the “Days In The Sun” flashback would show him standing in front of his parents’ tomb. This would still be a tragic backstory, but a little less clichéd, and it would give even more guilt to the servants to explain why the Enchantress cursed them too.

5. Slightly revise Belle and Maurice’s backstory.

I’d portray Belle as five or six years old when her mother died, not a baby. The flashbacks in the “Paris of My Childhood” scene would feature a montage of her growing from a baby with the rose-rattle to a child living happily with her parents, reading a book with her mother, socializing with their friends, etc., but then show her sobbing “Maman!” as Maurice carries her away from her mother’s deathbed. The lyrics to “Paris of My Childhood” would feel more fitting if she were singing about a childhood she actually remembered. Portraying her as having partly been raised in Paris, not just born there, would also give her more reason to feel misplaced in the small provincial town.

Last but not least, I just don’t think “Maurice has never told her how her mother died” was a necessary plotline. I’ve seen so many amateur critics complain that they were expecting the reveal of how she died to be some startling, dramatic twist, not just “the plague.” It feels as if the screenwriters were just trying to make the trip to Paris extra meaningful to Belle by having her not know until then… as if it wouldn’t be meaningful anyway. Or maybe they wanted to give Belle and Maurice’s relationship more “depth” by adding some mild conflict to it via his secret-keeping… as if they hadn’t already done just that by making Maurice’s overprotectiveness the reason why Belle is trapped in a dull, stifling provincial life. In my revision, Belle and Maurice’s conversation at home would end along these lines:

Belle: Why can’t we go back to Paris? Maman felt free to be herself there! All three of us were happy there!

Maurice: True, but it’s where we lost her too.

Much later, after the Beast finds the plague doctor’s mask, Belle would say, “Yes, that’s how my mother died,” and the Beast would reply “Like mine.” And in the wagon, instead of telling Maurice that the Beast helped her learn what happened to her mother, Belle would tell him that the Beast’s parents died of the same plague as her mother, which would only humanize the Beast further in Maurice’s eyes, leading even more naturally to his supporting Belle’s choice to go back to him. These would be small changes, but all good.

6. Actually incorporate the magic book into the plot or leave it out altogether.

I agree with most of the criticisms I’ve read about the magic book, so my revision would do one of two things:

Choice #1: Use the book in place of the magic mirror. Having the Enchantress leave the Beast with two magic “windows to the outside world” feels redundant. This version of the book would have the power both to show you visions of different places and to actually transport you there. Belle would also use the book to instantly travel back to the village to save her father, as so many critics insist she should have. Her dialogue with the Beast beforehand would go along these lines:

Beast: You must go to him.

Belle: (after an astonished pause) I’ll come straight back as soon as he’s safe.

Beast: No. Stay with him. I release you. You are no longer my prisoner.

Belle: (awkwardly) But… what about your book?

Beast: Keep it, so you can always look back and remember me.

Later, in town, Belle would use the book to show the Beast to the villagers and Gaston would use it to find the castle, though not to teleport there since Belle wouldn’t have shown him how. Meanwhile, Belle would steal a village horse to ride after the mob.

Choice #2: The opposite of the above – eliminate the book and use the mirror in its place. Have the Beast introduce the mirror to Belle earlier and let them use it just to see a vision of Belle’s childhood home in Paris, not to actually visit there. The scene could still be just as effective this way. The only downside is that we’d lose the moment when Belle says “Let’s go home” and the Beast smiles as he realizes she just called the castle “home.” But a similar effect could be achieved this way: Belle cries as she looks into the mirror. The Beast places a tentative consoling paw on her shoulder. She turns to him and leans her head against his chest – their most intimate physical contact so far. He looks shocked for a moment, then accepts it and gently holds her. The rest of the movie would use the mirror normally, with Belle and the Beast’s dialogue after the ballroom dance only slightly tweaked to reflect the fact that Belle already knows about the mirror. Also, Belle wouldn’t have the rose rattle from Paris to show Maurice; he’d have to trust her word alone about the Beast’s goodness, as in the animated version.

7. Add more dialogue to Belle and the Beast’s scene after the dance.

I have mixed feelings about the line “Can anybody be happy if they aren’t free?” I appreciate the blatant attempt to avoid accusations of Stockholm Syndrome. But nothing is physically stopping her from leaving the castle, nor has the Beast ever threatened any retribution if she leaves... nor, unlike the animated version, has she promised to stay. In the original film, it’s her promise that keeps her there; not the Beast, but her own sense of honor. But in the remake, she seems to feel like the Beast is forcing her to stay against her will, and it’s not clear why. I’d like to add some dialogue (partly inspired by Megan Kearney’s webcomic) to clarify that she’s making some wrong assumptions about the Beast, in this vein:

Beast: We’re friends now, aren’t we? If you want to leave... then why haven’t you asked me?

Belle: Because I couldn’t bear to hear you say ‘no.’

Beast: (putting on his sassy facade) Or why haven’t you run away? You did it before.

Belle: Because you would come after me and drag me back, like you tried to do that first night.

Beast: What are you talking about?

Belle: Isn’t that why you followed me?

Beast: Belle, I behaved shamefully that night, and through most of my life beforehand too, but I would never have brought you back against your will. I saw the wolves surrounding you from the castle and I came only to save you.

Belle: But how can you have seen me? I was already miles away when the wolves appeared!

(lead-in to the reveal of the magic mirror and Belle seeing Maurice in it)

Between further addressing the Stockholm Syndrome issue, further clarifying the Beast’s behavior in a positive light, and providing an effective new lead-in to the mirror scene, this would have been a vast improvement, IMHO.

8. Let Belle change into practical clothes before riding off to save Maurice.

This only applies if the movie uses the above-mentioned Choice #2: replacing the book with the mirror. If Choice #1 is used and the mirror replaced with the book, then Belle can teleport to the village in her ball gown. But if she’s going to ride her horse through the snow, then she needs to wear something she wouldn’t freeze in! It seems to me that the only reasons why they kept her in the gown were (a) to highlight her urgency, which the animated version never seemed to lack even with a change of clothes, (b) so the yellow would stand out against the snow as the Beast watches her from afar, and (c) to give her the ham-fisted “anti-princess culture” moment of ripping it off and leaving it on the ground when she rides back to the castle. But even if my revision were to use Choice #1 and keep her in the gown and later her underclothes, then she would need to realistically be shivering when she arrived back at the castle and throw a cloak or shawl over her shoulders before the rooftop confrontation. No immunity to snow!

9. Take the castle’s crumbling to its logical conclusion.

The castle’s crumbling a little bit each time a petal falls from the rose would seem to imply that when the last petal falls, the whole castle will crumble to smithereens. But no such thing happens. It really does seem as if the castle only crumbles at all because the writers wanted Gaston to shoot the Beast instead of stabbing him, but needed him to somehow fall to his death without the Beast knocking him off balance while flailing in pain. I say let the whole castle start to crumble after the last petal falls, with Belle sobbing over the Beast’s body all the while, either not realizing or not caring that she’s about to be crushed to death! Yes, that would be dark for a Disney movie, but I don’t think it’s much darker than some of the other new details (Gaston trying to kill Maurice, the Enchanted Objects all “dying,” etc.). Especially if it only lasts a moment before the Enchantress saves everyone.

10. Include some lines and details from the animated version that were cut.

Just a few here and there, please. I can accept that “I just don’t deserve you!” would be out of character for Emma Watson’s Belle, but couldn’t she at least say “Gaston, you are positively primeval!”? Couldn’t they have found some place for Cogsworth to say “If it’s not Baroque, don’t fix it!” too? And why shouldn’t the Beast say “I release you. You are no longer my prisoner” when he lets her go? That line makes it clear that he’s sacrificing all his hopes and doesn’t expect her to come back! Also, why did the writers feel the need for Mrs. Potts to say “Because he loves her” instead of letting the Beast say “Because I love her”? And why did the set designers place Belle and Maurice’s house within the village, not on the outskirts in keeping with their misfit status? I don’t understand these small cuts and changes whatsoever.

11. Add some dialogue to the final scene.

This is a change I wouldn’t mind in the animated version either. Some pre-dance dialogue about the future between Belle, the Prince, and either the servants, Maurice, or even the now-friendly LeFou, to show that Belle and the Prince plan to do more than just be royal. I’d like us to actually learn what the movie storybook says – that they plan to turn the castle library into a school for children. Then Belle would mention that they plan to travel or see the world too. When asked how they’ll possibly have time for that, she’ll reveal that they still have the magic book or mirror and plan to use it. This way, no one will accuse the movie of sweeping Belle’s dreams of adventure aside in favor of romance.

None of these improvements would drastically change the script, but I think they would all be worthwhile. 2017’s Beauty and the Beast is a good movie as is, but with this handful of differences, I think it would have been even better. If anyone else has any other ideas for script revisions, I’d love to hear them!

#beauty and the beast #disney #meta #improvements #revisions #fantasy #beauty and the beast 2017 #beauty and the beast spoilers #batb #batb 2017 #long

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farmhaus · 3 years

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#3 Apology

Dear Maureen, I'm taking the time to write this one out to you, as it has come to my attention that we're trying to move forward on broken ground. I owe you an apology. Many, many apologies. I'll get right to it. I am sorry for not protecting you heart and your space so soon after an abusive relationship. I'm sorry I let said abusive relationship go on for five years. You didn't deserve one moment of how he treated you, and I am so sorry I didn't put an end to it in 2015. I'm sorry that you couldn't stand to be alone back then. I'm sorry I took you on those dates and let the men that we encountered do whatever they pleased. I'm sorry I used sex as a form of self-harm, just to hurt you. I'm sorry that was the standard of success I held us to as well -- mainly out of fear and a desire to repress who you really were and are. There is nothing I regret more than that sentiment, honestly. You deserved to be celebrated for who you loved, and I didn't even tolerate it.

I'm sorry I put us through what I did with Annora, sorry I never let you confess your feelings and work through that in a way that felt meaningful. I'm sorry we had those awful few years with Brendan and sorry I made you feel like that's what we deserved. We deserved so so so much better, and lighter, and MORE. I wanted so badly to stay in those wounds formed from a few stupid men in your sexual awakening, and I'm sorry after all these years we still think their names and give them a legacy. Your legacy is NOT a handful of names of people who hurt you, lost to the ether otherwise. You have gone and grown so far beyond that. I am so proud of you, despite putting you through this. I am so sorry for looking at your beautiful body and telling you to hate it, for deeming it "unworthy" of this precious male gaze I obsessed over. I'm sorry I brought you into that hellscape, dragged you deep into compulsive heterosexuality, knowing full well it was all a scam. I'm sorry I made you run on busted knees and excruciating IT bands and rolled ankles and told you that pain was to be bartered for your sister's love, or maybe even my love of this body (someday...never.) I'm sorry for the miles that were never long enough, the swims that were never fast enough, the workouts that were never hard enough. I'm sorry I lied to you about a comic book character and femininity being a kind of redemption. I'm sorry we didn't love band and did it anyway. Sorry for KKPsi and Catherine and Darbi's homophobia. I'm sorry for letting Erin into your bed and leaving Kyla on read, and all that that represents. I'm sorry you never stood up to Erin, or kissed Jessica Drake, or held hands with Samantha Cox. I'm sorry I robbed you of that. I'm sorry I insisted on Pepsi and Oreos every day, didn't treat our acne, didn't buy clothes that fit or take time to do our hair. I'm sorry you felt so fucking ugly. I made you feel that way. And I'm sorry that opened you up to all the hateful things Dominic and Josh said about you. I'm sorry I told you you weren't worthy of competition, and so we never practiced mellophone or challenged those ahead of us. I'm sorry I told you we would never be the best at anything cool or good. Sorry I didn't let you switch to French horn. Sorry about all the women you were swept away by that I swept under the rug: Sandy, Paula, Amanda Adkins. Sorry for telling you you were broken because you couldn't love Zach. Sorry for abandoning Ashley when she could've been the most important friend we had. Sorry for abandoning Kelsey and Kendall and Stef for the same reasons. I'm sorry for deciding we were "weird" and "unfuckable" before puberty was even over. I'm sorry for letting a few bullies stop you from branching out and finding yourself. I'm sorry I let fear keep us from sports and skateboards and surfing and riding horses. I'm sorry it kept us from chasing a science degree or days spent on the ocean. I'm sorry you turned hard from the nuclear family model you knew only to stare into a void of loneliness and unworthiness. I'm sorry I painted that canvas black for you. I'm sorry you didn't take more fishing trips with your dad but took his criticisms to heart. I'm sorry I didn't stand up to Jennifer for you, or prove something to ourselves before I proved it to her.

I'm sorry I told you you didn't deserve more than an anonymous internet romance or a toxic friendship. I'm sorry we fell out of touch with Lauren Radak and Sara Pickard. Sorry for the. hard feelings and friend breakups and ghosting of people we loved.

Sorry for all the questions we didn't ask mom during puberty. Sorry for not living more of your dreams or validating you. Sorry for giving up on piano and softball. I'm sorry for not taking you on more vacations or adventures or road trips -- almost zero in the last 10 years. I'm sorry for not loving you deeply, truly, and perfectly as I could. Instead, I made us cry to pop country music while driving across the flatlands of Colorado with aspirations of becoming a traditional wife. Again and again, I let the patriarchy win. I'm so sorry. I will do better. I'm sorry that I've made everything your fault. I just want to feel in control. I operate out of fear and about 90% of these apologies were born from just that, FEAR -- of being seen, of falling down, of learning some painful truth or having to know you differently that I wanted to/felt comfortable with. I'm sorry I couldn't commit to our art or our writing or our love of anything, actually, for fear of other's opinions, abandonment, or being called a fraud. You are not neutral. YOU ARE NOT HERE FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S BENEFIT. YOU ARE A GIFT FROM THE UNIVERSE TO ITSELF AND I WILL NOT WASTE ANOTHER MINUTE PUSHING YOU AWAY OR NOT LOVING YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU ARE AND EVERYTHING YOU COULD BE.

YOU ARE ENOUGH. Love,

Maureen

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juliandmouton30 · 7 years

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"Middle-class guilt is weaponised to keep architectural labourers from demanding reform"

A disdain for trade unions is preventing architects from challenging the industry's low standards of workers' rights, argues Phineas Harper.

In February 2012, a mysterious website, archleaks.com appeared. Now offline, the site enabled disgruntled architects to anonymously whistle-blow on the conditions in their practices. Although the authenticity of the complaints could not be verified (neutering any scandal that might otherwise have broken in the architectural press) few starchitects escaped a scathing put-down.

Nobody, however, was surprised. We all know of pompous prima-donna architecture directors who treat their subordinates with disdain and disrespect. We all know of bullying, managerial tantrums, impossible internal deadlines, all-nighters and unpaid internships that seem endemic in our profession, even within the most lauded firms.

What kind of industry produces a website like Arch Leaks? The rapidity with which its fora were populated is indicative of architecture lagging woefully behind other professions in employment practices. It points to the acute lack of routes to meaningful recourse available for architectural staff and begs the question, why is our profession, which I firmly believe to be saturated with people passionate about making the world a better place, nonetheless so shoddy on workers' rights?

Why is trade unionism such an anathema to architects?

In 1982, an architect kneels with a metre-long set square and rolled drawings. He wears a skinny blue tie and a determined expression. Clustered around him around are a bin man, dinner lady, groundskeeper, care worker and others.

This photograph was taken shortly into the premiership of Margaret Thatcher, for a trade-union poster campaigning against the sweeping privatisation of public services including local-authority architecture offices. Shoulder to shoulder with other tradespeople, the architect is not portrayed as an independent glamorous auteur but as a regular guy taking collective action in solidarity with his peers. It is the only depiction I know showing an architect as a trade unionist.

The Union Of Construction Allied Trades & Technicians (UCATT) was absorbed into the British mega union, Unite on the first of January this year. UCATT had been encouraging architects to become members for several years but take up was poor. "We don't actually know the exact number of architects who are members", Barckley Sumner, UCATT's former spokesperson confessed to me, "...but it's very low."

Why is trade unionism such an anathema to architects? We know our industry is riddled with exploitation yet turn our backs on the organisations which have successfully supported workers across numerous other industries? Why is the man in the skinny blue tie such an anomaly?

"We're actively finding opportunities to unionise architects," Keefer Dunn, National Organiser of the new American alternative professional body The Architecture Lobby, told me. "But most are reluctant to think of themselves as workers. We still cling to this myth of the gentlemanly professional."

For Dunn, architects are in love with a fantasy. Even those at the bottom of the pecking order fancy themselves as the well-heeled heroes of yesteryear born into wealth, practicing their art at leisure and unconcerned with humdrum matters such as paying a mortgage.

Harriet Harriss of the Royal College of Art agrees. "There's a lot of snobbery in architecture about unions," she said. "We are labouring under the misapprehension that we're doing OK, when we're not." Harriss is part of a group attempting to create a new British architectural union from scratch. "If one of our members needs us," she explained, "we will have solicitors on our books who are able to look at the legal case. Whether their employer is a practice or a university, breaching maternity pay, sick leave or contractual rights, we'll be able to represent that person."

The elephant in the room is, of course, class

Attempting a similar mission are Architectural Workers (AW), an anonymous group of junior designers working in London. We exchanges encrypted emails via Riseup, a tool more typically used by anarchists and hardcore climate-change activists to organise direct action.

AW's focus is campaigning against the demolition of council housing estates but their secondary agenda is fighting for the rights of their peers. "Our rights are not given, they have had to be fought for," they said. "Architecture is ‘white-collar' work – yet we want to re-think what this means for those on the lowest rung of the ladder."

The elephant in the room is, of course, class. There is a widespread presumption that everyone within architecture is firmly middle class. Any meaningful conversation about unionism in practice is quickly stalled by its implicit class undertones. "We see unions as a working class thing and because we think we're all terribly middle class, there is a level of disdain about them," said Harriss. "It's about that distinction between being an industry and a profession. Unions have always been seen as serving blue-collar workers and we think of ourselves as white collar."

For Dunn it has become imperative to end this distinction, which he sees as meaningless in a contemporary economy: "We are professionals in the eyes of the law, but more substantively, we are workers in the Marxist sense – we have to sell our labour to survive. Having a kind of 'working class identity' really says that the thing that we're doing is not in itself socially progressive – it's our workplace that is the site of our political agency. The political agency of architecture is not in the buildings. That would be like a steelworker saying that the political agency of what they do is somehow in the steel. Your agency as an architect is as a worker."

Destructive, unfair working conditions will not resolve themselves without action

It suits the bosses of abusive firms to perpetuate the idea that "we are all middle class here", as if architectural workers have nothing to gain from, and no moral right to, collectivisation. Middle-class guilt is weaponised to keep architectural labourers from demanding reform. It benefits exploitative directors to insist us that unionism is beneath architects' social standing, that we can have nothing in common with the workers depicted in that crumbling eighties poster.

The destructive, unfair working conditions common in architecture will not resolve themselves without action. New institutions that can galvanise the collective power of the profession at-large are necessary to push back against a culture of exploitative labour practices. But the challenge is more profound than merely establishing a pressure group or online whistle-blowing forum – there must first be a fundamental unpicking of the status of architects, and of architecture itself.

Phineas Harper is a critic and designer. He is deputy director of the Architecture Foundation and former deputy editor of the Architectural Review. He is author of the Architecture Sketchbook (2015) and People's History of Woodcraft Folk (2016). In 2015 he co-created Turncoats, a design-based debating society which now has chapters in four continents.

An extended version of this column was published in the Real Review.

The post "Middle-class guilt is weaponised to keep architectural labourers from demanding reform" appeared first on Dezeen.

from ifttt-furniture https://www.dezeen.com/2017/10/11/phineas-harper-opinion-trade-unions-architectural-labourers-demand-reform/

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themomsandthecity · 7 years

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How Not to Be Obsolete Like the Parents In 13 Reasons Why

This post written by Arianna Jeret was originally featured on one of our favorite sites, YourTango. Because I refuse to believe it's inevitable that teens won't talk to their parents. This weekend I finally watched the Netflix original series 13 Reasons Why, which is the current obsession of pretty much every human being I know. I have to admit, I was nervous to watch it. Ever since having children, I have a tendency to flip out at the mention of any tragedy involving a child of any age, but the subject matter - bullying and teen suicide - felt too significant in relation to life today for me to pass it by. So I sat down to watch the first episode around 3:30 p.m. on a Saturday and stayed glued to my spot for the duration of all 13 episodes in a row. Every.Single.One. r While the show, impressively executive produced by Selena Gomez, is full of complex storylines and characters worthy of lengthy discussion, as the mother of a teenager, I was particularly interested in the relationship between Hannah, the girl whose death by suicide is the series' centerpiece, and her parents. Hannah is the only child of a couple who moves to a new town for reasons that are never clearly explained. There are brief mentions of their financial woes as small business owners struggling to stay afloat amid competition from a major chain store, as well as brief mentions of Hannah having trouble with girls at her former school. Hannah's parents are also shown fighting with each other often, as is only natural for any couple going through severe financial strain. And they do ignore Hannah to a degree from time to time, though both also try to bring themselves out of their own concerns every so often to ask Hannah how she is and how things are going. Any parent who has ever gone through such a rough period in their lives can surely relate to how hard it is not to fall into that trap. But what struck me most about Hannah and her parents was that while each episode revolves around one major event - one of the 13 total reasons Hannah gives to explain her choice to die by suicide - in not even one instance does Hannah turn to her loving, supportive parents to ask for either sympathy or help. Not even once. And the same goes for the rest of the teenage characters and their parents. Not one of these high school students is ever seen saying, "Hey Mom and/or Dad. Something really, really awful happened today." Not ever. And who could help but wonder not only why not but, of course, what if? . . . Which got me thinking of my own conversations with my own teenager, and then further back to MY high school days. And, yeah, most of the kids I knew at that age never even considered sharing the kinds of highly embarrassing, deeply troubling, and all-too-realistic experiences depicted in 13 Reasons with their parents either. But I did. And not because I was some goody-goody. I mean, kind of and in some ways, but not totally. The reason I talked to my parents about even the most embarrassing and painful issues of my teenage years was pretty basic: they told me I could. Over and over and over again. And then they made good on it. From the time I was little, and I mean really little, my parents let me know it was really and truly OK to ask questions. When I was around 7, I happened upon a Playboy magazine and asked my mom what it was. While some parents may have understandably felt mortified and tried to brush the question off, my mother simply and calmly explained that women's bodies are beautiful and people like looking at them. To which I added another question. Could I look at the magazine? Still unfazed, my mom said, sure, and I settled in with a copy. My dad walked by and asked what on Earth I was doing. Me: "Mom said I could look." So my dad shrugged his shoulders and went about his business. After which, guess what? The magazine was actually kind of boring. Once the shock factor of the nude pictures was explained and normalized, it was neutralized. And it was no big deal, as there was much more fun to be had with my Barbies than reading a stuffy old magazine. And I had learned the most important lesson: it really was OK to ask my parents a "weird" question. I didn't get into trouble, and I wasn't made to feel wrong or bad. I was simply given truthful answers. Cool! My parents reinforced that lesson many times as I grew up, and the next most meaningful example I can remember came along in my teens. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was in my mid-teens and riding along in the car with my dad, who was talking to me about a friend of his who had a son a few years older than me. He and this friend would swim together regularly in the mornings and then chat in the gym Jacuzzi for a while afterward. My dad was telling me that he couldn't believe that his friend did NOT want his slightly older teenage son to come to him with questions or information about his sexual activity. The guy had said something to my dad along the lines of, "Why would I want to know what he's up to with that stuff?!" My father turned to me and said (also something along the lines of), "I always want to know what is going on with you and your brother, and I want you both to know you can talk to me about anything. Your mom and I are here to help you through life, and there's nothing you should feel embarrassed or wrong to speak with us about." I'd already experienced that when I went to my parents with questions, I received honest answers. And when I went to my parents for help, I got help. Like, actually helpful help. It was only when I didn't tell them about something or tried to hide parts of the truth that I got in trouble (there's a long and now-funny story about my car getting totaled when I was 16, but that's for another day). So when I was 17 and decided I was ready to have sex with my then boyfriend, I told my parents about it - before it actually happened. You probably think that's weird, right? Pretty much everyone I've ever told that to thinks it's weird. And I'm totally OK with that, except I wish people would instead realize how healthy it was. Because the quality of your conversations with your kids of any age has a FAR greater effect on their well-being than the amount of time you spend with them total. Studies have shown that "the sheer amount of time parents spend with their kids between the ages of 3 and 11 has virtually no relationship to how children turn out, and a minimal effect on adolescents [and their] academic achievement, behavior and emotional well-being." In fact, sociologist Melissa Milkie, Ph.D. of the University of Toronto, who co-authored the study referenced above, said the following: "If we're really wanting to think about the bigger picture and ask, how would we support kids, our study suggests through social resources that help the parents in terms of supporting their mental health and socioeconomic status . . . The sheer amount of time that we've been so focused on them doesn't do much." Rather, the researchers conclude that, "Adolescents who experienced more engaged maternal time had fewer delinquent behaviors. Additionally, teenagers who spent more time engaged with both parents had better outcomes, including better behavior and higher math scores." Basically, you can spend all of the time in the world in the presence of your kids, just as so many of the parents portrayed in 13 Reasons Why do, but if you are not able to engage them in quality conversation, you're not doing as much as you may think you are in regard to keeping them or their future safe. So back to me at 17 and about to discard my V-card. My thinking was, no matter how smart and safe people are when they have sex, shit happens. I didn't want my parents to have to learn I was sexually active only because I had to come to them suddenly for help because I'd gotten pregnant or had caught an STD or something else along those lines. And guess what. When I was 18, I caught herpes from that same boyfriend I'd lost my virginity to while thinking I was being so safe and smart. And I went to my parents for help. And they helped me. In contrast, those kids I know whose parents believed they were "pure" and "innocent" were the ones who suffered most deeply when they went through difficult times related to sex, drugs, and other issues kids are scared to discuss with their parents. And as a parent now, the kids I've watched bully others or make risky decisions are the same ones whose parents I have heard with my own ears insist their sweet children have no idea that porn, sex, drugs, or foul language exist. Uh-huh. Right. And Al Gore invented the internet. I hear you. My oldest son is almost 14 now. He's just barely a teenager and still more than a year off from high school, but I hope with all of my heart that the conversations I've had and will continue to have with him (and his brother, of course), which I try to model after the way my parents spoke honestly and without judgment with me, have given him the clear message that he can come to me with even his most embarrassing or worrying questions and issues. And, in return, I promise to always give truthful answers and/or find actually helpful help. If you or someone you know is suffering from suicidal thoughts, please seek help immediately by calling The National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. There is hope! More juicy links from YourTango: * What 13 Reasons Why' Got RIGHT About Suicide (As Written By Someone Who Attempted) * Why '13 Reasons Why' Was Triggering For Me And Might Be For You Too * 10 Easy-But-TOTALLY-Romantic Date Night Ideas For Parents * 50 Love Quotes Guaranteed To Make You FEEL Things * These 37 Hilariously Funny Love Puns Will Make Your Day http://bit.ly/2pbjqWt

#13 Reasons Why #Parenting Tips and Advice

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