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musings-on-wisteria · 4 months

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Exploring The Elements (Via Comparison)

This post is about how I came up with my version of the Four Elements. My variations are not exactly unique, but there are some key departures from traditional depictions that I think make my system stand out. If it’s not obvious, this is entirely my UPG.

Context: While the elements are the backbone of my witchcraft practice and are absolutely part of my spells, I view each element as more than just a tool or an energy, but as a category. For me, each element has its own lessons, its own mysteries, its own aspects and its own path for a practitioner to walk down. That being said, I think they're absolutely categories you can play with. I took the elements and made them more sacred than sorcerous; you may want to make them more secular than spiritual. That's totally your call!

For starters, I mentioned in this post that I prefer to work with the elements as they appear in my life. When I began my practice, I meditated on each element and followed the threads that it reminded me of.

To take Wind as an example, I thought of letters, weather vanes and feathers. From that I could extrapolate correspondences of communication, ideas, omens, change, exchange, favors, levity and freedom.

That's a LOT from three objects.

From there, I applied the correspondences to my life- where did I see omens, experience exchange and communication, feel free? Pretty quickly, Wind's domain became the internet, as well as academic study, games, and travel.

Once I had done this- and mind you, I didn't sit down and write out every element one by one, it was a more organic process- I wanted to find the intricacies of the system. Some of the elements seemed to overlap- Earth and Water, for instance. I wanted to know what separated them, made each its own path.

That's where comparative groupings showed up. Dividing my four elements into two sets of two as many ways as I could was a pretty useful way to figure out what they were and what they weren't. These categories are fairly arbitrary, but they help me understand the connections between the elements and solidify their meanings. You can see how this is done with the traditional four Elements, with "passive" and "active," "feminine" and "masculine," and all of that. There are three axis that I measure them through; Hearth vs. Flux, Aspirational vs. Foundational, and Energetic vs. Organic.

The Hearth elements (Fire and Earth) are physical. Their domain is the solid and mundane. They’re called “Hearth” because their properties are more familiar to us, being steady and predictable. The Flux elements, by comparison (Water and Wind) are shifting and metaphysical. They have influence over things that only exist in our minds- our thoughts, ideas, magic. They also fluctuate, hence the name.

The Aspirational elements (Wind and Earth) have goals that are either endless- they can never be truly achieved- or which I gravitate towards in good times. When I’m doing well, I focus on these things, which encourage growth, progress and self-expression. They concern the external world, beyond an individual person. The Foundational elements (Water and Fire) meanwhile, are more about maintenance and healing. In bad times, I come to these elements for renewal and comfort. They focus on the internal, the self, the- well, foundational. These are paths that set habits and routines.

The Energetic elements (Wind and Fire) are more energy than spirit. They tend to be simpler, more linear, more man-made and more morally neutral. They’re more sorcery than spirituality, if that makes sense. Organic elements (Earth and Water), by contrast, are more spirit than energy. They’re complex. They like cycles and feelings and spiritual development. They like dealing with people rather than products. (I have a whole UPG around energy and spirit- long story short, I see spirit as condensed energy and energy as unfocused spirit- but that's another story.)

So, reading through that, you can probably already glean a lot of my elemental associations. That's how it's supposed to work- through these three comparative lenses, you can triangulate my correspondences in a really satisfying way.

For instance, you now know that Water is a Flux element- changing, metaphysical, mind-focused- a Foundational element- self-focused, healing and internal- and Organic- specializing in spirituality, cycles and feelings. The sentence writes itself- Water is about a person’s relationship to themselves and their internal feelings, the cycles of healing and development, and spiritual wisdom.

Additionally, that tells you how I might use Water in a spell! Personally, I almost never use only one element- it's much more potent to blend them. In my practice, Water will be present in both a cleansing and an emotional healing spell- but in the former, I'd combine it with Wind (the Flux Elements like movement and shifting things around), while in the latter I would add more Fire (because the Foundational Elements are eternal sources of renewal and self-love).

This has been a long post, so if you made it all the way through, thanks! I may make more posts outlining my specific, in-depth profiles for each of the elements, for my own record as much as anything else. Keep in mind these will be entirely based on my UPG and highly personal to my craft.

PLEASE, please please please add your own UPG around the elements to this post- or tag me in your own- I would really love to see what other people make of these four!

#cheshi muses #witchcraft #witchblr #the elements #elemental witch #elemental witchcraft #the four elements #four elements #UPG #unverified personal gnosis

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yesimwriting · 3 years

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All The Good Dreams

A/n this one is based on a request from @ateliefloresdaprimavera who requested a fic where General Kirigan has been dreaming of the reader for as long as he can remember and that’s one of his few reasons to smile and the reader has been having the same kinds of dreams about him and when they meet they just know.

This one is being written in third person bc it’s the only way I can see this fic being done but I’m a little insecure about writing in third person so be gentle lol

Also a little personal update I’ve been working on my original novel and it’s coming together y’all!!

ALEKSANDER.

The morning sunlight seems to only come to take her from him, peaking through the curtains and stirring him awake and away from his dreams. Aleksander keeps his eyes closed for a moment longer, trying to will her features to remain in his mind. She had looked more angelic in last night’s dream, dressed in all white and watching him with an adoration he doubted real life could duplicate.

The girl has haunted his dreams like a ghost of promise since before he began to change the world. Since before anything in his life was solidified. He lets out a sigh, something similar to a smile playing at his lips. Thinking of her would not bring her to him, if he could manifest her, she’d be by his side right now. He has things to do, duties and obligations that will bring his final goal closer. Each day is a step closer to victory, and each night brings the promise of dreams. The promise of her.

Y/N.

“Y/n.” The voice is gentle and distant. “Y/n,” a little harsher. “Wake up, you’ll be late.”

Fighting against grogginess, y/n wakes up, eyes squinting open. “What time is it, Danna?”

“Late.” Danna’s reply is curt as she steps away from y/n’s cot. “I thought you were awake already and then I came in to look for my boots and you were still asleep with that ridiculously peaceful look.” Danna paces around the room. “You must have been dreaming of your prince again?”

Y/n feels her skin warm. “He’s not a prince!” It’s a weak defense. “I regret telling you that almost every time I dream I see the same man.”

Danna drops down, grabbing her worn boots and pulling them on quickly. “You’re making me believe in soulmates, l/n.”

Y/n rolls her eyes, sitting up and placing her feet on the ground at her own leisure. “It’s nothing like that--I’m not even sure he exists.”

Lacing her shoes, Danna narrows her eyes at y/n. “Sure.” Y/n opens her mouth to protest, but Danna beats her to it, “If you need to argue with me, do it while getting dressed, we can’t be late today--General Kirigan’s visiting this camp for the first time and I doubt he’d appreciate being interrupted by a non-Grisha medic.”

At that, y/n wrinkles her nose, but she stands anyway. “Ugh...Grisha.” She walks towards her uniform. “They can get away with anything and I hear Kirigan’s the worst of all of them because he’s in the same order as the Black Heretic that began all of this.” Y/n pauses, crossing her arms. “And it’s ridiculous that the army even needs non-Grisha medics. Healers exist and they should not be primarily reserved for other Grisha who rarely get injured, especially to the extent that the rest of us do.”

“I know, y/n, but don’t speak like that until the General is gone.” Danna draws her lips into a thin line. “And hurry up before you get us both in trouble.”

Y/n lets out a sigh. “Go ahead without me, I’ll catch up.”

Danna eyes her friend wearily. “Alright, worse comes to worse I’ll try to cover for you.”

“You won’t need to.” Y/n isn’t sure she believes herself. “I’ll be there.”

Danna pulls on her second boot, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t really believe you.” She stands easily. “But knowing you, you’ll talk yourself out of any trouble the way you always do.”

“I do not always talk myself out of trouble.”

Turning to leave, Danna pauses, “Whatever you need to tell yourself.”

Y/n rolls her eyes. If she had more time to argue with Danna she would take it. But she doesn’t. She’s quick to get dressed, thoughts of the mysterious stranger from her dreams keeping her company. Last night he seemed more tired than normal, a crease between his dark eyebrows as he sat by her side. A part of her she keeps buried worries about him. It’s ridiculous, to concern yourself over a figment of comfort your mind created for you.

By the time y/n’s changed, she knows she doesn’t have much time to get to her station. She’s rushing out of her tent, one boot still untied. The medic bag she slings over her shoulder swings as she jogs towards the medical tent. Today the camp is hectic, everyone desiring to appear efficient and reliable for General Kirigan. It’s all ridiculous to Y/n. General Kirigan will never be impressed by them. If he’s revered even among Grisha, Y/n can’t imagine the superiority complex that man must possess.

Her eyes scan the soldiers and workers she knows so well, each of them behaving so differently than normal. There is no friendly chatter this morning, no casual banter. There is only the business of war.

Y/n watches the people she knows, so focused on their nerves that she barely registers the person she crashes into. “Sorry!” The apology leaves Y/n on instinct. Her bag falls off her shoulder, gauze and antiseptic falling onto the ground on impact. Y/n bends down instantly, beginning to pick up her supplies. She mentally curses herself for being so easily distracted and not properly shutting her bag this morning. “Everything’s so hectic today and I was running late and I just--I have no idea how I didn’t see you.” She drops her supplies back into her bag. “I guess it’s a good thing they keep me off the battlefield and in the medical tents.”

Reaching for the last of her supplies, Y/n’s eyes land on the shoes of the person she just crashed into. They’re leather. The fine kind of leather meant for marble halls, not trekking through the unknown. Y/n’s mouth goes dry as the possibility of the graveness of her mistake sets in her mind. She exhales slowly, daring to look upwards as she closes her bag.

When her eyes meet those of the stranger, she is left with no choice but to gape. She’s not staring because she’s now at the mercy of General Kirigan. She’s not staring because nothing could have prepared her for his beauty. She’s staring because she knows that face. She knows those sharp features and steady eyes.

His lips are slightly parted. Y/n is struck with the odd thought that perhaps he too has words wedged into his throat.

“It’s you.” The whisper leaves her faintly.

The words seem to unfreeze Kirigan, his expression moving from shocked to stoic. “Excuse me?”

Awkward regret floods through Y/n. She drops her head downwards, desperate to escape the power of his gaze. “General Kirigan.” She uses her words as a way to dismiss the emotions her chest seems to be brimming with as she stands. He’s not the man from her dreams. That’s impossible. “I apologize for my inappropriate behavior an--”

“No, no,” he shakes his head once. Y/n bites her tongue at his dismissal. “You said ‘it’s you.’”

Embarrassment knots her stomach. “I just hadn’t realized that I ran into you, General. I--I knew you were coming today, but I wasn’t expecting to see you much less like this.”

Kirigan’s eyes seem to be nothing more than inviting pools of kindling emotion. So familiar yet so distinct. He can’t be the man from her dreams. The man from her dreams must be nothing more than a composition of traits she finds generally attractive. General Kirigan just happens to possess those features. That explanation is the only thing that keeps Y/n’s feet rooted to the ground, but the longer she looks at him the more that explanation loses its strength. There’s just something so knowing behind his expression, so specific to the face that she’s only seen while asleep.

Tearing his gaze away to scan the area, Kirigan reaches forward, placing a hand on Y/n’s arm. The touch leaves Y/n warmer than it should. Maybe that’s why she lets him lead her forward, ducking into an empty medical tent. She keeps hold of her bag as he turns, his eyes full of something dark and unknown. But not angry, Y/n notes, no, not angry. The look is too peaceful for rage, perhaps even hopeful.

“When you looked at me…” He exhales, voice low and sacred, “You said ‘it’s you’.” Y/n can only blink, still mesmerized by something so foreign and familiar all at once. “Do you know me?”

In his urgency, Kirigan’s hold on Y/n’s arm becomes more assured. Something in Y/n wants to pry herself free in order to prove to herself that she’s capable of resisting his drawl. But his touch is not to trap her, the look in his eyes tells her that. His touch is pleading--desperate and hopeful.

“Everyone knows you,” when Y/n finally finds her voice, she is not convinced it is her own.

The corners of Kirigan’s mouth fall downwards, something in him threatening to deflate. “I meant--have you seen me before?” The question is not one Y/n is too willing to answer. How could she tell this strange man, this general she was convinced she’d dislike on some fundamental level while never speaking to him, that she knows him? She knows him like she knows her own beginning. “Because I’ve seen you.”

Y/n can’t help the way her eyes widen. This doesn’t mean anything, she warns herself, he could have seen her walking. “I didn’t see you, that--that’s why I ran into you--”

“No, you’re avoiding the question.” Her face is warmer than it was when Danna was teasing her this morning. It’s warmer than it’s ever been. “Because you’ve experienced it as well.”

The swelling in her chest is overwhelming. “Experienced what?”

Kirigan eyes the entrance to the tent once more, confirming that no one is approaching. “All of the good dreams,” he exhales, “They have been of you.”

Y/n can’t help the way everything in her melts. She’s not insane. She’s not projecting something dangerous onto the Shadow Summoner. “I see you in my dreams always.”

Slowly, he releases his grip on her arm. Watching her like she might be a mirage, Kirigan raises his hand, brushing his knuckles along Y/n’s cheek. She lets him, holding her breath until his hand falls back to his side. A part of Kirigan expected the girl to be a trick of the light, something that his touch would reveal to be a fallacy. But she remains true, watching him with eyes the size of saucers.

“How long I’ve been waiting for you, you’ll never know.” His voice is as heavy as a lament.

Y/n feels her back straighten slightly on instinct, desperate to pass whatever scrutiny is being passed over her. “How--how does this happen? How do two strangers dream of each other for so long and...”

Something knowing colors his smile a shade of ambitious green. “What is your name?”

“Y/n.”

Kirigan’s minds flit through lifetimes worth of faint memories. The girl laughing, the girl teary eyed, the girl embodying all the stars he’ll never have, the girl representing all he needs. Y/n. There’s finally a name to her.

“Y/n,” the name is a gift. Kirigan pulls a ring from his fingers before grabbing Y/n’s arm. Too lost in a strange euphoria, she lets him pull her arm forward before pressing his ring into her skin. Her brow furrows as he begins to guide the metal down her skin. That slight confusion quickly turns to total shock as a thread of light begins to spindle down her skin, following the path he’s creating with the ring. “You and I are going to change the world.”

General Taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper @grishaverse7 @lonelystarship @mentally-in-northern-italy @uhanddreag @kaitlyn2907

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be-gay-do-heists · 3 years

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hello yall :) the holy month of elul started last night, which is typically a time for contemplation, so since it is impossible for me to stop thinking about leverage, i decided to write an essay. hope anyone interested in reading it enjoys, and that it makes at least a little sense!! spoilers for leverage redemption

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Leverage, Judaism, and “Doing the Work”: An Essay for Elul

When it comes to Elul and the approaching High Holidays, Leverage might seem like an odd topic to meditate on.

The TNT crime drama that ran from 2008-2012, and which released a new season this summer following its renewal, centers on a group of found-family thieves who help the victims of corporations and oligarchs (sometimes based on real-world examples), using wacky heists and cons to bring down the rich and powerful. In one episode, the team’s clients want to reclaim their father’s prized Glimt piece that had been stolen in the Shoah and never returned, but aside from this and the throwaway lines and jokes standard for most mainstream television, there’s not a ton textually Jewish about Leverage. However, despite this, I have found that the show has strong resonance among Jewish fans, and lots of potential for analysis along Jewish themes. This tends to focus on one character in particular: the group’s brilliant, pop culture-savvy, and personable hacker, Alec Hardison, played by the phenomenally talented Aldis Hodge.

I can’t remember when or where I first encountered a reading of Hardison as Jewish, but not only is this a somewhat popular interpretation, it doesn’t feel like that much of a leap. In the show itself, Hardison has a couple of the aforementioned throwaway lines that potentially point to him being Jewish, even if they’re only in service of that moment’s grift. It’s hard to point to what exactly makes reading Hardison as Jewish feel so natural. My first guess is the easy way Hardison fits into the traditional paradigms of Jewish masculinity explored by scholars such as Daniel Boyarin (2). Most of the time, the hacker is not portrayed as athletic or physical; he is usually the foil to the team’s more physically-adept characters like fighter Eliot, or thief Parker. Indeed, Hardison’s strength is mental, expressed not only through his computer wizardry but his passions for science, technology, music, popular media, as well as his studious research into whatever scenario the group might come up against. In spite of his self-identification as a “geek,” Hardison is nevertheless confident, emotionally sensitive, and secure in his masculinity. I would argue he is representative of the traditional Jewish masculine ideal, originating in the rabbinic period and solidified in medieval Europe, of the dedicated and thoughtful scholar (3). Another reason for popular readings of Hardison as Jewish may be the desire for more representation of Jews of color. Although mainstream American Jewish institutions are beginning to recognize the incredible diversity of Jews in the United States (4), and popular figures such as Tiffany Haddish are amplifying the experiences of non-white Jews, it is still difficult to find Jews of color represented in popular media. For those eager to see this kind of representation, then, interpreting Hardison, a black man who places himself tangential to Jewishness, in this way is a tempting avenue.

Regardless, all of the above remains fan interpretation, and there was little in the text of the show that seriously tied Judaism into Hardison’s identity. At least, until we got this beautiful speech from Hardison in the very first episode of the renewed show, directed at the character of Harry Wilson, a former corporate lawyer looking to atone for the injustice he was partner to throughout his career:

“In the Jewish faith, repentance, redemption, is a process. You can’t make restitution and then promise to change. You have to change first. Do the work, Harry. Then and only then can you begin to ask for forgiveness. [...] So this… this isn’t the win. It’s the start, Harry.”

I was floored to hear this speech, and thrilled that it explained the reboot’s title, Leverage: Redemption. Although not mentioned by its Hebrew name, teshuvah forms the whole basis for the new season. Teshuvah is the concept of repentance or atonement for the sins one has committed. Stemming from the root shuv/shuva, it carries the literal sense of “return.” In a spiritual context, this usually means a return to G-d, of finding one’s way back to holiness and by extension good favor in the eyes of the Divine. But equally important is restoring one’s relationships with fellow humans by repairing any hurt one has caused over the past year. This is of special significance in the holy month of Elul, leading into Rosh haShanah, the Yamim Noraim, and Yom Kippur, but one can undertake a journey of redemption at any point in time. That teshuvah is a journey is a vital message for Harry to hear; one job, one reparative act isn’t enough to overturn years of being on the wrong side of justice, to his chagrin. As the season progresses, we get to watch his path of teshuvah unfold, with all its frustrations and consequences. Harry grows into his role as a fixer, not only someone who can find jobs and marks for the team, but fixes what he has broken or harmed.

So why was Hardison the one to make this speech?

I do maintain that it does provide a stronger textual basis for reading Hardison as Jewish by implication (though the brief on-screen explanation for why he knows about teshuvah, that his foster-parent Nana raised a multi-faith household, is important in its own merit, and meshes well with his character traits of empathy and understanding for diverse experiences). However, beyond this, Hardison isn’t exactly an archetypical model for teshuvah. In the original series, he was the youngest character of the main ensemble, a hacking prodigy in the start of his adult career, with few mistakes or slights against others under his belt. In one flashback we see that his possibly first crime was stealing from the Bank of Iceland to pay off his Nana’s medical bills, and that his other early hacking exploits were in the service of fulfilling personal desires, with only those who could afford to pay the bill as targets. Indeed, in the middle of his speech, Hardison points to Eliot, the character with the most violent and gritty past who views his work with the Leverage team as atonement, for a prime example of ongoing teshuvah. So while no one is perfect and everyone has a reason for doing teshuvah, this question of why Hardison is the one to give this series-defining speech inspired me to look at his character choices and behavior, and see how they resonate with a different but interrelated Jewish principle, that of tikkun olam.

Tikkun olam is literally translated as “repairing the world,” and can take many different forms, such as protecting the rights of vulnerable people in society, or giving tzedakah (5). In modern times, tikkun olam is often the rallying cry for Jewish social activists, particularly among environmentalists for whom literally restoring the health of the natural world is the key goal. Teshuvah and tikkun olam are intertwined (the former is the latter performed at an interpersonal level) and both hold a sense of fixing or repairing, but tikkun olam really revolves around a person feeling called to address an injustice that they may have not had a personal hand in creating. Hardison’s sense of a universal scale of justice which he has the power to help right on a global level and his newfound drive to do humanitarian work, picked up sometime after the end of the original series, make tikkun olam a central value for his character. This is why we get this nice bit of dialogue from Eliot to Hardison in the second episode of the reboot, when the latter’s outside efforts to organize international aid start distracting him from his work with the team: “Is [humanitarian work] a side gig? In our line of work, you’re one of the best. But in that line of work… you’re the only one, man.” The character who most exemplifies teshuvah reminds Hardison of his amazing ability to effect change for the better on a huge stage, to do some effective tikkun olam. It’s this acknowledgement of where Hardison can do the most good that prompts the character’s absence for the remainder of the episodes released thus far, turning his side gig into his main gig.

With this in mind, it will be interesting to see where Hardison’s arc for this season goes. Separated from the rest of the team, the hacker still has remarkable power to change the world, because it is, after all, the “age of the geek.” However, he is still one person. For all that both teshuvah and tikkun olam are individual responsibilities and require individual decision-making and effort, the latter especially relies on collective work to actually make things happen. Hardison leaving is better than trying to do humanitarian work and Leverage at the same time, but there’s only so long he can be the “only one” in the field before burning out. I’m reminded of one of the most famous (for good reason) maxims in Judaism:

It is not your duty to finish the work, but neither are you free to neglect it. (6)

Elul is traditionally a time for introspection and heeding the calls to repentance. After a year where it’s never been easier to feel powerless and drained by everything going on around us, I think it’s worth taking the time to examine what kind of work we are capable of in our own lives. Maybe it’s fixing the very recent and tangible hurts we’ve left behind, like Harry. Maybe it’s the little changes for the better that we make every day, motivated by our sense of responsibility, like Eliot. And maybe it’s the grueling challenge of major social change, like Hardison. And if any of this work gets too much, who can we fall back on for support and healing? Determining what needs repair, working on our own scale and where our efforts are most helpful, and thereby contributing to justice in realistic ways means that we can start the new year fresh, having contemplated in holiday fashion how we can be better agents in the world.

Shana tovah u’metukah and ketivah tovah to all (7), and may the work we do in the coming year be for good!

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(1) Disclaimer: everybody’s fandom experiences are different, and this is just what I’ve picked up on in my short time watching and enjoying this show with others.

(2) See, for example, the introduction and first chapter of Boyarin’s book Unheroic Conduct: The Rise of Heterosexuality and the Invention of the Jewish Man (I especially recommend at least this portion if you are interested in queer theory and Judaic studies). There he explores the development of Jewish masculinity in direct opposition to Christian masculine standards.

(3) I might even go so far as to place Hardison well within the Jewish masculine ideal of Edelkayt, gentle and studious nobility (although I would hesitate to call him timid, another trait associated with Edelkayt). Boyarin explains that this scholarly, non-athletic model of man did not carry negative associations in the historical Jewish mindset, but was rather the height of attractiveness (Boyarin, 2, 51).

(4) Jews of color make up 20% of American Jews, according to statistics from Be’chol Lashon, and this number is projected to increase as American demographics continue to change: https://globaljews.org/about/mission/.

(5) Tzedakah is commonly known as righteous charity. According to traditional authority Maimonides, it should be given anonymously and without embarrassment to the person in need, generous, and designed to help the recipient become self-sufficient.

(6) Rabbi Tarfon, Pirkei Avot, 2:16

(7) “A good and sweet year” and “a good inscription [in the Book of Life]”

#leverage #miko speaks #jewish stuff #jumblr #leverage redemption #spoilers #lr spoilers #leverage redemption spoilers #written for a non leverage audience because i want my rabbi to read it alskdjflaksdjf #elul

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defdaily · 3 years

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BEAUTY+ Magazine May 2021 issue featuring JAY B: The Second Act

Translated by defdaily

Among the past, present, and future, which do you think about the most?

The present. I believe that the present is the most important. The future makes you worry constantly, and the past makes you regret constantly so I try not to think about them. Now, I try to make decisions I won’t regret.

Do you think about your current state and things you want to do?

I contemplate a lot about the state of my emotions or what to do in my current situation. Ever since I was young I thought it’d be good to live like the flowing water, tranquilly. You know how water changes its state based on its surroundings. I want to be someone in the free water-like flow.

Has your life until now been like free-flowing water?

My life itself may seem spectacular, but I think the flow of my life itself has been. There was a lot I was lacking in since debuting with GOT7 but I tried my best to show a colour suitable for GOT7. I changed myself according to the container I was in, and instead of being stagnant in one place, I think I flowed here well.

You seem to be careful with choosing an agency. What factors are you contemplating about?

I think about whether I will suit the company. It might be tiring for others to see because I’m so meticulous, and I may seem selfish but I think that I should be selfish right now. My future depends on it as well as the future of the company I will be going to. I think I will have to be selfish for both sides to produce good results.

The members showed their natural sides in the Encore music video. Looking back to 7 years of GOT7’s activities, what is the most memorable moment?

Since we’re performing artists, I remember a lot of moments on stage. 2-3 years ago in Thailand we performed our solo tracks for 7 days and then performed OUT all together as a group. I think a lot about how we were all so excited to perform. I think of those times we were together as seven.

What kind of team was GOT7? Judging as a leader?

The direction of GOT7 I thought of was a fun and free-spirited team. Since Look came out, I’ve been telling the company that we “shouldn’t try too hard to set the mood or look cool. Songs with a style like Look will be our strength.” I don’t think things turned out the way I thought they would. But as you can see from our last album’s song ‘Breath,’ it feels like we went in circles and came back to our original spot. There is some regret about how it would've been good to go more in that direction, then we could’ve shown a more solidified colour. But as a result, it’s a fact that we became a team capable of pulling off various colors.

Did you make those suggestions thinking about the members, because you thought it was what set you guys apart from other groups?

I talked a lot with my members. It seemed like they had the most fun with bright, fun, and chill performances. With performances like that, we think about harmony rather than how each of us can look cool. It leaves a greater impression on the fans when we are visibly having fun.

It seems like the public has also watched over the growth of JAY B. Starting as a bboy to a main vocalist, and writing many remarkable K-pop songs. You also played a huge role in establishing GOT7’s colour. What led you to grow and develop in that way?

I thought that if I felt like I wasn’t growing, then I should quit music.

Does liking it not serve as a reason?

Because it’s my job. Being able to do what you like as a job is something to be grateful for. But if my skills don’t meet the standards and if there is no growth despite my efforts, it’s only right to do it as a hobby. I didn’t think that there was no growth when listening to my music. I thought it could work if I tried a bit more.

What was a song you feel like you reached a new level?

‘Teenager’ and ‘PAGE.’ I think the team’s color was completed with those songs. It helped me realize that I had the potential to write such songs. At first, I was persistent with sticking to my musical color. Later, I changed my thoughts and decided I should write songs suitable for GOT7. It’s something I should obviously do as a member of the team. I think that’s where ‘Teenager’ and ‘PAGE’ lined up very well.

The album 7 for 7 containing ‘Teenager’ was a turning point for GOT7. Through that album, we got the feeling that you guys found your color and most importantly, the quality of the songs written by the members was great. What happened during that time?

I think that’s when our potential exploded (laughs). GOT7 had three turning points. The first was ‘Stop Stop It.’ We heard the song and thought “Wow, this is it.” But the outfits were a bit regretful. The music and the visuals didn’t really match. We wore overalls (laughs). The second turning point was when the Flight Log trilogy was released, and the third was ‘Teenager’ of 7 for 7. That song later led to ‘Look’ and we got to sing ‘PAGE’ and ‘THURSDAY.’ Then we suddenly tried to change our direction to ‘ECLIPSE’ and ‘You Calling My Name’ but eventually ended up back to ‘Breath.’

When you listen to ‘Look�� or ‘PAGE’, do you feel like GOT7’s musical colour reflects your own preference and style? And you’ve made many GOT7 songs with ØFFSHORE crew.

It’s hard to say it wasn’t reflected. But according to my standards, they are songs I wanted to write for the team. I talked a lot with the crew about what (kind of song) should GOT7 do and what would suit GOT7. ‘Look’ was a song that was released because the mood suited GOT7 well. After that it was ‘PAGE’ and ‘THURSDAY’. Our colour was included naturally.

The 8 members of ØFFSHORE are consistently releasing albums. How is that taking place?

We talk about what we feel and decide on a theme whenever we want to release an album. When we decide on a theme, each person would write songs relating to the theme, we select songs and release an album. The themes usually come up as we are talking casually about life. For example <Scene 1> contains the process of leaving on a trip until coming back. Rather than the lyrics, the moods of the songs are like that. When you start the trip you listen to fun songs then (we) get a little calmer as the trip comes to an end. I organised the order of the songs for <Scene 2>. When talking with friends, you usually start by talking about work then you talk about life, the future and then you end up talking about love and relationships. I organised it as that kind of story. There is no specific goal. We spend the revenue from albums on production for the next album. Because everyone in the group are people who make music, there are things that were settled music-wise through these promotions.

You must have been influenced by your friends a lot not only musically, right?

Yes, of course. Regarding life too. I listen to what my older brothers/friends and my parents have to say. I think about the stories of the people who experienced it first once again. One older friend said “We are not doing this for a huge goal, don’t get stressed and let’s just make music.” When I was pondering about how to do better, I heard that and it hit me. Should I say, those words painted my life with colour. I felt like working with energy and strength didn't suit me at the time.

Is it true that you have made 3 albums? Do you only work on songs every day?

Yes. I usually stay in the studio when I can't do my hobby. And since the people I meet are friends who do music too. I don’t know if I can release an album but I’m preparing and working on it.

What kind of albums are they?

In the past, I made powerful “performance-type” songs, but for this album the mood is calmer and the sound is minimal. There is an acoustic feel too. There is a soft tender album, a sad album and a melancholic album too.

Where did the desperation come from?

The desperation of life. I can’t talk about it in detail but there was a topic I really wanted to talk about when I made the album. It could become an album that people frown upon. But, for the music I do alone, I thought I should include honest stories that match my situation.

Did you write about the pain and difficulties you’ve felt all this time? On the surface, you seem to be a recognised leader of a successful idol group, but you must have faced difficulties.

Yes. It’s one part of my life too. Looking back, the difficulties were caused by my own tendencies rather than external factors.

Is it because of the perfectionism you push onto yourself? It seems like the uncertainty and fear contributed to creating your current self.

Yes, I’ve never thought of myself as a perfectionist but people around me often tell me so. They must have a reason for saying that so I ended up acknowledging it myself. I was really ambitious with GOT7 too so I felt a lot of disappointment and stress. I work hard because I know if I don’t, it’ll come back to me as regret. It’s okay to look back to times when I didn’t know well enough and think, “I should’ve done this, I was naive.” What I hate is doing just enough because of reasons like lack of stamina despite knowing what I need to do and knowing that I’m not yet satisfied.

Until now, you’ve made music with the name Def. and through the JUS2 comeback, you also let us hear dreamlike songs from a baritone. Escaping from the category of idol, you now need to create a new identity – is there a kind of music you would like to do fresh?

It’s hard to say it rashly now but, whatever I do, I want to do it properly and solidly. I do prefer a relaxed and easygoing mood, but when it comes to music genres, R&B, hip hop, urban and pop will definitely be the groundwork. However, I do hope that my image will not be fixed to one (genre). It’s no fun to keep doing the same kind of music. And I’m sure there are times when I’ll have to become a little wilder. It’d be great if (I had) a free image. I also hope it’s an image that I won’t be embarrassed of. After coming to a new company and releasing an album, if it doesn’t do well, I think it would be right for me to leave.

Aren’t you fearing failure too much? How would it be possible to achieve what you wish in one go?

Of course, I’m scared. I’m very afraid of failure. Naturally, it won’t be possible to succeed in one shot, but I do have the standard of my Maginot line*. That is what I am referring to. I am usually the type that thinks of the negative things first. It’s not good to be unprepared for the worst-case scenario.

*Maginot line – taken from the fortifications that created the French line of defence, now coming to mean “a defensive barrier or strategy that inspires a false sense of security”

You’ve said that GOT7 has not disbanded, however since all the members are under new companies, coming back together as GOT7 will not be an easy thing to achieve. What kind of method are you thinking of?

I’ve talked a lot with the members. It’s our goal to write one song each month for GOT7. If it’s 1 year, then that’s 12 songs. All our members write songs, so if each one of us does that, then we can accumulate a lot of songs. Everyone is in different companies which will have their own situations, so I can’t make promises for certain, but our goal is to release one album every year. It would be great for that to happen, and I personally think that it should happen. Because that is the minimum courtesy we should show to our fans. It would be even better if we could have a stage.

It would be a new concept.

We heard that the release of our song ‘Encore’ was in an unprecedented manner, and this made my sense of duty and responsibility bigger. Because the steps we take in the future could influence the direction that others may take in the future too. I thought it was the end, but it’s only just the beginning,

Amongst your many hobbies, is there anything you would like to recommend?

Camping. Activities such as setting up tents and cooking really make you think. Even just sitting down in a chair surrounded by nature is really great. Waking up to the sounds of birds singing is amazing; the sound of water running too. Recently, I bought a folding furnace and create my own little fire space. It could be seen as something embarrassing but while having the fire there, if negative thoughts come up, I write it down and then burn it in the fire. If you think that camping may be tiring, glamping would be good too.

Since the name of the magazine is Beauty+, I wanted to ask, is there something that you thought was beautiful recently?

People passed by me laughing and making some noise, and as I saw that, I thought that laughter was something really beautiful. I realised why smiling and laughing is a beautiful thing. It’s not just laughing or smiling, but the emotions that encompass that are really so beautiful. Everything natural is beautiful.

Translated by defdaily.

#def.#jaebeom #lim jaebeom #defdaily:trans #got7 jb #interviewtrans #defdaily #jay b

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awildgingeishere · 4 years

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https://equalizersoccer.com/2021/03/05/christen-press-forward-position-training-profile-uswnt/

Christen Press is known for scoring world-class goals. The onlooking public swoons over the final product which is so often a picturesque finish bent into the side netting or hammered into the upper corner. Press often does this with such confidence that she makes the extraordinary look easy, even though it is anything but.

That final product, though, is in some ways the simpler part of the process. Press’ training habits and approach to the game embody the notion that most of an athlete’s work is done away from the public eye, on training fields and when nobody else is watching. Her unique approach to the game starts with individual training, where her focus on off-ball movement and manipulating tight spaces — rather than shooting for the sake of it, or individual dribbling drills — develops her ability to distinguish herself from any other forward. More than most, she can seamlessly transition between wide and center-forward roles.

“I think especially in the U.S., we don’t have as many players that manipulate space with off-ball movement,” Press said in an interview last year. “[It’s] something I learned in Europe and I think all European forwards do this, but we don’t often have players who do that. We typically have had players who are using strength to create space. So, I think when I play in the nine specifically, but even wide, my strength is off-ball movement, being very unpredictable, hard to mark, being dynamic and being kind of like blindside, off-ball so that I’m always stretching the line. And I think that’s a huge strength because it gives the midfield more room to play.”

All goal-scorers require a certain level of selfishness to be successful, which Press recognizes. What sets her apart is the execution in those moments. To paraphrase her teammate, Megan Rapinoe, you can always make a selfish decision to shoot and not pass… as long as you score.

“In the final third, I think I’ve always had a goal-scorer’s mentality,” Press said. “Once I’m in range of shooting, I don’t think about anything else. If I happen to pass, it’s because I couldn’t have shot. And I think that there’s a breed of players that are just wired that way. And then there’s a breed of players that play the same position that aren’t. I am wired like that, and there’s also pros and cons to it, but my first thought is always setting my feet to score, setting my feet to take a touch and then score. And then anything else that happens in that space is just a second option, honestly.”

***

Press blazed her own path to being a United States women’s national team regular. She left the U.S. club scene in 2012 to play in Sweden, feeling as though she needed to make a change after largely being left out of the U.S. picture by then head coach Pia Sundhage. Her back story has been recounted ad nauseam over the past decade, but it is still essential to understanding the person and the player – a do-everything forward who has been shaped by these experiences. Her path is unique among her peers of the same generation, and it shows in her different approach to playing forward.

Press famously thrived in Gothenburg, becoming the first American to win the Damallsvenskan’s golden boot. That move abroad — at a time when U.S. internationals not only were not playing abroad, but were actively discouraged from doing so — ironically solidified her place in the United States team ever since. Her goal in last month’s SheBelieves Cup against Argentina was her 60th, tying her with Shannon MacMillan for ninth in U.S. history.

Press grew up as a pure No. 9, a goal-scorer. She carried on with that through college, lighting up the scoring record books at Stanford, and used that to her advantage during that glorious first stretch of her career in Sweden. Cracking the national team was a different story. Abby Wambach was the incumbent No. 9 at the time, often alongside Amy Rodriguez, and Alex Morgan — who graduated college the same year as Press — burst onto the scene as the U.S.’ up-and-coming No. 9, meaning Press was often relegated to wide positions.

For a long time, Press’ place there felt shoehorned, no doubt a contributing factor to a relatively quiet World Cup in 2015, when she was pegged by so many to be the breakout star. Slowly, however, she adapted, choosing to accept whichever role she was given if it meant playing for the best team in the world. Now, she thrives in both wide and central roles. The difference was tangible at the 2019 World Cup, where the wide role which once looked so uncomfortable for Press was the one which she stepped into for the semifinal against England, due to Megan Rapinoe’s injury. Press scored 10 minutes into that impromptu start, helping the U.S. reach (and win) a second straight final.

“I think that I have more of a responsibility than any other forward to play in all the roles as needed and I think that’s historically been because I’ve been a substitute coming on,” she said. “So, you kind of have to be ready for whoever’s coming out; you’re the first sub on. And now, I think it’s just flexibility because I’ve done it and I’ve done it okay in several positions that everyone’s like, ‘oh, well she can.’ So, I think that’s a blessing and a curse. It gets you on a roster to be versatile, but I feel like having a stake on the field is like you’re in one position and you’re always going to show up in that position. I think that that has its pros as well.”

Today, it is accepted as fact that Press can play across all three positions on the front line: center forward, wide left and wide right. For years, that versatility was a burden she carried, a struggle through the purgatory of being an elite player without a defined position. Now, however, she has leveraged this to her advantage. Press has for so long juggled different forward positions that she has mastered each of them. Her lack of a defined position contributes to the outside world’s inability to explicitly qualify her greatness, but it is also the very thing which makes Press such a singular talent.

Her shift throughout the front line illustrates how the forward position varies between certain roles, even if in nuanced ways. Press said the definitions are a little more blurred in this system, and that each forward shares the responsibility to get in behind and score, but the physical difference in where each position lines up on the field affects how she plays each position.

“I think technically it is very different playing in the different positions, because your orientation is just completely changed,” she said. “And I think my whole career, I played with the offside line behind me. That’s a nine. So, playing wide for the first time was really hard because you see the whole game through one eye. And your dominant foot and your mobility of your hips — I know it sounds crazy — really affects what you can and can’t do on each side. But now I’ve been passed around so many times, I feel like I’m like, okay, my second eye is — I can still see out of this one.”

***

Press views each offseason as a little book of its own. In past years, she would write a draft of what those figurative chapters would be, listing the things she wanted to improve in her game and designing drills to achieve those goals. Press said that she has had trainers in the past, but nobody knows what she needs better than her.

She tries to balance the design of her training sessions to work on skills she thinks she is exceptional at and areas where she thinks she is not very good. Anything in between gets lost. This is where those subtle foundations are formed daily.

“I have a very regimented way that I train, a flow of when I control practice, this is how it flows,” Press said. “Within each segment of my training, I’ll have specific things that I’m working on, and always starting in the beginning of training with the most simple drills that you would never actually see a professional do —really, really childish and then just working on the mechanics and growing from there.”

Press points to quick-release shooting as one of these simple things she trains: she starts as basic as lining up a bag of balls on the six-yard line and quickly shooting with only one step, to work on generating power. Press executes this better than any other teammate and that is because she has, through the years, taken what is seemingly a disadvantage and figured out a way to create an advantage out of it.

Instead of viewing the ball as stuck under her feet, Press sees an opportunity to catch a defender between steps or a goalkeeper flat-footed. Whereas many forwards are especially dangerous when barreling down the field at speed, Press might be the best goal-scorer in the world from a standing-still position in open play. She trains that — again, by beginning simply. Press will line up a bag of balls on the six-yard line and shoot in quick succession, taking only one step back to reset. This is the foundation of generating power.

“I think that if I look through the years [at] the space I train in, it’s in that exact ‘D,’” she said, referencing the arch at the top of the 18-yard box. “And I think the way that you most often score there is using your defenders as a shield and a little bit into negative space, and then bending the ball. I think that’s absolutely my best way of scoring.

“And I think that’s because of my strengths. I can get into the pocket with speed often. I don’t actually like dribbling around defenders very much. I don’t practice dribbling so I’ve got one way to get by them, but I often work on manipulating my defenders so they can’t block my shot, rather than working on manipulating them so I can get by them. And I think that’s why then I developed a shot that I can take basically with the ball under my feet and generate a lot of power, because it’s unexpected for the goalkeeper and it’s out of reach for the defender.”

Training this type of skill is very intentional. Even on a field by herself, with no active defenders, Press knows that if she takes four steps before a shot, she has failed. In a game, with real defenders, she will have been tackled or her shooting window will have closed.

Soccer is about a feeling, Press says. U.S. Soccer sends film to players after each training session so they can self-evaluate. Press says she does not look at how she performed technically, but rather what her body language said about her approach to a given training session.

She has not gone without dry spells or rough patches, from the more subtle grind of transitioning to wide roles and changing teams, to the more obvious and overt moments, such as the penalty-kick shootout miss in the 2016 Olympic quarterfinal against Sweden.

There is a notion that forwards need short memories, to not dwell on such misses. Press said she views things slightly differently, borrowing some inspiration from fellow teammates.

“I think instead of even a short memory, I always told myself since I was a young person: the more I miss, the closer I am to my next goal,” she said. “Because it’s almost like once you play long enough, you’ve missed so many times that it’s no longer emotional. I guess a certain miss in a certain moment might be, but even those, I’ve done it; I’ve missed as bad as you can miss and I’ve let the team [down]. So, life goes on and I feel like if I’m in a game and I’ve missed an easy goal, that means the next one, I’m gonna score. Because I’ve missed a million easy goals before, and I’ve always scored again. So, that’s kind of how I approach it and I actually think I see this a bit in Carli [Lloyd]. If she ever misses an easy chance, she kind of becomes ravenous. She hunts and hunts because she wants to replace that memory with something else, and I try to even embody that a bit, where I’m even more hungry in the final part of that field.”

Lloyd and Press combined for a goal against England at the 2020 SheBelieves Cup. The play was a microcosm of all these things: Press intentionally drifting into open space on the opponent’s back line before receiving the ball, opening her hips to face up to goal in one fluid motion, and firing a quick shot which caught England’s defenders and goalkeeper by surprise. The camera angle from behind Press showed just how much the ball bent to tuck into the side netting. ESPN announcer Sebastian Salazar screamed a phrase which quickly made its way to a t-shirt: “Christen Press, what have you done?!”

It was another spectacular goal from Press, one worthy of all the plaudits it received. What had she done? Well, it was the same she has been doing for a long time, drifting between forward positions and scoring a noteworthy goal from skills she has developed away from the public eye."

#christen press #woso #uswnt

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inkweaver22-blr · 3 years

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Here’s chapter ten! I do believe this is the first chapter with absolutely no dialogue! I hope you enjoy it regardless!

AO3 Link

Scattered Cicadas - Chapter Ten: Soft Shadows

Redemption is a hard process. Yet the cycles seem to make it easy for one particular demon.

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Redemption was a tricky thing. It required so many different events to happen in a certain order that it rarely occurred.

The first step was to commit some form of wrongdoing.

This was unfortunately the easiest part to do and most people never moved on to the next.

The second step was to realize and acknowledge your actions as wrong or harmful.

Many had justified their own actions over the course of existence and never saw themselves as doing wrong. Worse, many knew their behavior to be cruel and simply did not care or relished the feelings of power it gave them.

The final step was perhaps the most difficult to achieve.

One had to feel genuine remorse for their actions and wish to change.

Very few actually made it this far in the process as it usually required a catalyst of some sort. A personal revelation after going too far or someone laying your actions out clinically so you couldn’t justify them. Even a single act of unconditional kindness and trust could make someone wish to change.

Then came the truly hard part: actively changing your actions.

The path to redemption was not a short one. It took a lifetime of pursuit and dedicated work to not slip into the temptation of reverting back to who you were before.

Closing yourself off and pretending you didn’t care was easy, after all. What was difficult was being honest with yourself and allowing yourself to feel.

It helped if you had people around you to offer support and love. If it was from the same people who you had harmed originally, all the better.

But earning forgiveness wasn’t the goal of redemption. Some would refuse to give it, and you would have to live with that as it was their right to do so. It may hurt, but you had hurt them first and have no right to demand it even if you had changed.

Being redeemed wasn’t for the benefit of one’s victims. The hope was that you could grow into being a better person. It was for your own personal peace of mind. Whether others choose to accept that you’ve changed was not up to you, but you must continue onward regardless if you were to ever live with yourself.

Tang was intimately familiar with this process. The amount of cycles where he had been some sort of villain was not small.

The first three steps came easy to him. Feeling remorse for his wrongdoings and wishing to change were simple for one stuck jumping through time.

He could even spot a suitable catalyst for his potential ‘redemption’ fairly quickly. MK’s kindness and belief of the good in most people had certainly been useful on many occasions.

Having the whole process down to a science himself, Tang was even able to pull others into changing their ways sometimes. The Demon Bull family were commonly caught in his actions whenever he was a part of it.

(Having Red Son as a younger sibling had been interesting.)

What was bemusing to the scholar was that throughout the cycles there was one person who would constantly be redeemed, even without his meddling.

The Six Eared Macaque was an interesting puzzle.

He seemed to fit into the group that knew their actions were harmful, but did not care. Yet time and time again, he would become one of their allies.

Tang hadn’t known much about the demon early on in the cycles, but the knowledge about him came inevitably.

Macaque had been a “beloved friend” of Sun Wukong in the past. At some point, they had a falling out, Macaque seeing it as being left behind by Wukong.

The scholar had actually experienced part of that tension back in that cycle with the time traveling cactus.

So it seemed feelings of betrayal, jealousy, and abandonment were Macaque’s main motivations.

That last one was eerily similar to MK’s insecurities.

Macaque was very much like both Wukong and MK when Tang stopped to think about it. All three had repressed emotional trauma and coped with them in wildly unhealthy ways. Usually by pretending they weren’t there.

Macaque channeled those repressed emotions into schemes of revenge. He used lies and illusions to get what he wanted. He was condescending and sarcastic to his enemies, seemingly cruel and uncaring.

And it was all a facade.

At least, most of the time. There were a few cycles where Macaque was genuinely a despicable person who showed no remorse.

As much as he tried to hide it, Macaque was actually a very emotional being. It was quite easy for him to get attached to one or more of their group and slowly his cruel streak would fade.

Macaque’s catalyst for change was usually a person. It differed from cycle to cycle, but someone would show him some kindness or trust and before Tang knew it they would have another sarcastic immortal monkey as a part of the team.

MK was obviously the most common person to get the demon to change. Macaque was not lying when he called him a good kid. Having four father figures in those cycles seemed to be good for MK.

Wukong, while usually not the initial catalyst, tended to play a big part in Macaque’s redemption. Being old friends, they knew each other extremely well. While that tended to lead to a lot of arguments, it also led to them picking up where they had left off their previous relationship.

It didn’t really bother Tang that said relationships were often romantic in nature. Watching the two monkeys cuddle when they thought no one was looking was just too cute.

Mei was an interesting choice for Macaque to become attached to. He often ended up becoming her mentor, teaching her how to properly wield the Dragon Blade. Both of their sarcastic natures worked surprisingly well together.

The biggest surprise had been Pigsy.

That cycle, Macaque was basically under house arrest as ordered by Heaven. Pigsy, not wanting the manipulative demon to be anywhere near MK, forced him to stay at their apartment. It was some time later when Tang had woken late in the night to some loud noises and had left his room to complain.

Only to find Macaque pressing a kiss to Pigsy’s cheek before fleeing his room, pursued by a flustered and angry pig demon soon after.

It was strange, but Pigsy’s gruff and silent compassion meshed really well with Macaque’s easy going and nonchalant attitude. The scholar found their affection towards each other endearing.

Tang supposed it was only a matter of time before he himself acted as Macaque’s catalyst.

The cycle had started early, about a year before the original events. While working at the library, Tang had been approached by what he immediately recognized as Macaque in his human disguise. He had requested help on learning more about The Journey to the West for a school assignment. Tang, deciding to play along, offered himself up as an expert on the story and they began meeting weekly to go over it.

Macaque truly did not know the full events of the Journey in this cycle and seemed upset at several points, such as learning about the fillet used to inflict pain on Wukong. Over time, the pair began to meet up more often and discuss things other than the famous book.

He really should have expected falling in love.

Macaque was still sarcastic as ever, but never malicious. He made jokes and comparisons that had Tang’s side aching from how hard he laughed. He was quick to pick up Tang’s quirks and preferences, surprising him with his favorite foods or a nice new set of bookmarks.

He was still Macaque, but this softer side of him made Tang’s chest flutter.

As he lay in bed with his partner, (who had still yet to reveal himself to Tang, but he was patient), Tang couldn’t help but feel a new place in his heart open up for the shadow demon. He had already been considering adding Macaque into his family due to the many times he had joined them, and this just solidified that decision.

Oh Tang knew the cycles where he never changed would be painful. Watching as someone he loved went down a path of self destruction wasn’t easy. But he held onto the knowledge that there would always be the cycles where Macaque did become a part of their family.

As long as the possibility existed, there was hope that the same could happen in his own timeline.

If he ever got back that is.

Tang shoved that increasingly reoccurring thought away and closed his eyes, letting the soothing sounds of Macaque’s breathing lull him to sleep.

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A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES!

Macaque is the fandom’s darling bad boy, so of course I had to have a chapter discussing his many, MANY redemption’s over the many fics and AU’s.

In particular, (Teach Me to Be) Tougher Than Leather, Softer Than Silk by *checks notes* HOLY SHIT! I had no idea this was by @ninja-knox-ur-sox-off until just now! *ahem* Anyway it is an AMAZING fic with a practically never used pair and I highly recommend it.

Tang seems to have a type doesn’t he? Demons that seem emotionally distant, but are big softies at heart. It’s probably the purring that gets him. ;P Also does Tang/Macaque have a ship name? If not I'm dubbing it InkyPages.

Don’t worry Tang! I’m sure those intrusive thoughts will go away all on their own.

Important notice! I’m probably going to be putting this fic on the back burner for a bit because I really want to write about the cycle mentioned here. Not as part of Scattered Cicadas, but as its own thing. So keep an eye out for that!

Until next time!

#Ink Writes #Monkie Kid #Scattered Cicadas #Tang #Tang Monkie Kid #Macaque #Six Eared Macaque #ninja-knox-ur-sox-off #(Teach Me to Be) Tougher Than Leather Softer Than Silk #MK #Mei #Pigsy #Sun Wukong #squidinknoodleshipping #Tang/Macaque #what IS their ship name anyway?#InkyPages #InkyPagesShipping #LEGO Monkie Kid

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disgruntledspacedad · 4 years

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Better Love Notes

If you’re confused about location, timing, or characters in my Narcos AU series Better Love, this is the post for you.

Better Love is an AU reader insert series that begins midway through Narcos season two. Because it is AU, and because Narcos is complicated af anyway, I wanted to take some time to clarify what things in Better Love will be different than what you're used to seeing in the show.

Hannah “Ears” Aarons

First, I think it’s important to clarify that Ears is more of an OC written in second person than she is a generic reader insert. I might refer to her as “you,” but Ears has a name, a face claim, a backstory, and a huge personality. If that bothers you loads, I totally understand and you’re free to duck out at any point, but don’t come at me. If you have specific questions regarding Ears’ background, personality, physical appearance, family history, or whatever else, get with me privately. I would love to introduce you to my chaotic sunshine child.

Official Job Title: Ears is officially an employee of the CIA, but she is not an agent (read: spy). She was brought to Colombia to be a liaison between Centra Spike, the DEA, and the CIA. She introduces herself to Search Bloc by saying, "I'll be your ears," but in reality, she was put in place to be Bill Strechner’s ears. More on that later. She has a background with the US Army that's basically useless (desk job), a ton of training and zero practical experience with flyover recon and radiofrequency tracking, and she's itching to do something real with her life.

Timing

Ears arrives in Bogotá around August of 1992 and falls in bed with Peña pretty much immediately. Horacio Carillo did die recently, but Javi did not start working with Los Pepes and Don Berna until November of 1992. Assume all of the drama with Martinez Jr. and Los Pepes took place around the time that he and Ears were on the outs - that's just another factor that led Javi to make the emotional, rash decision to work with the cartels that he winds up regretting.

There is actually a one year span of time between season two, episode six and the end of the show. Pretty much the entirety of Better Love (for now) takes place during this year, so if it seems like I’m really stretching things out, that’s actually because the show mushed it all together. I promise, guys, I have done my research here.

Locations

The majority of scenes in Better Love will take place in Bogotá, the capital city of Colombia. It’s important to keep Bogotá separate from Medellín, which is where the nit and grit of the hunt for Escobar takes place.

Getting to Medellín from Bogotá requires a one hour flight or an eight hour drive (Colombia is roughly twice the size of Texas, fyi). For a gringo, driving around the cities was dangerous, but driving outside the cities was suicide. Javi and Steve might take planes, or they might take an armored chopper, depends on my mood when I'm writing. Assume there's a landing strip nearby the embassy, because I'm lazy like that.

The U.S. Embass(ies): Centra Spike, Search Bloc, and the DEA office are all housed in the old embassy building that's basically right across from the new one (the super upscale nice one that actually functions as an embassy).

There's a lot of confusion and shuffling around in the show, so I wanted to clarify what goes where (also, the real Murphy and Peña had offices in the old, unused embassy, so this is sort of legit). For simplicity's sake, I am assuming that CNP (Colombian National Police) headquarters are also in or nearby this building. Ears might refer to "headquarters," "the office," or "the embassy," and it's all the same place. Basically, everything is centrally located in Bogotá, and when I refer to “the DEA office,” or “Javi’s office,” picture it from season one - two desks that are not shoved on top of each other, with glass windows and real filing cabinets. The CIA is also located here, as is Strechner's office and the fabled White Room.

These buildings are in Bogotá, nearby Peña’s and Murphy's apartments. I will differentiate between the New, Swanky, Functional U.S. Embassy by capitalizing it and giving it its full title. If I say “embassy,” assume I’m talking about the older one where Javi and Ears are based.

The Carlos Holguin School: This is the base of Search Bloc operations in Medellín, and the primary location that we see in season two of the show. Think of it almost as a military base - training grounds, barracks, bare-bones, no a/c, shitty food. Javi and Steve often stay at "the school" overnight while conducting operations in Medellín. They might also refer to this as “camping” or “the camp,” or “base.” It sucks balls. This is where Javi and Steve have their messy, shoved on top of each other desks that we tend to associate with the show. Javi and Steve still work from here just as often as we see in canon, there just won’t be as many scenes in this location because Ears is never there.

Javi’s apartment: Javi and Steve primarily live in Bogotá. This is the same apartment building that you see in season one, with the big steps in front of the building and then an even larger set of stairs inside. There is also a big set of stairs on the back end of the building that leads to an underground parking garage (we see this in the season one finale, where Steve gets snatched by Navegante). This building is a five minute walk to the U.S. Embassy, but Javi and Steve mostly chose to drive for safety and convenience. It’s in a pretty decent part of Bogotá. There is one small canon deviation in regards to the apartments: in Better Love, Javi lives upstairs, across from Steve’s front door instead of below him like we see in the show. They share a large front landing. I just really liked the idea of Javi having a view of the city from his bedroom window.

Ears’ apartment: Ears lives in a tiny little flat on top of a drug store, a place that she found on her own through the friend of a work friend. It’s also in a decent part of Bogotá, but not quite as safe or upscale as Javi’s. It’s about a ten minute hike from the embassy and fifteen minutes from Javi’s place.

Miscellaneous

CIA/DEA Collaboration: The relationship between the CIA and the DEA in Colombia was not pretty. The show makes it look like a personal conflict between Strechner and Peña, but in reality, it was so much deeper than that. These two organizations have opposing goals, and communication and sharing of information was a real problem. Basically, they squabble more than they collaborate, and there was a lot of backstabbing, underhanded fuckery, and generally getting in each other's way. Naturally, this is going to create tension between Ears and Javi.

Bill Stechner: The show makes it clear that Bill doesn’t give a shit about Escobar or the cartels except in regards to the power dynamics they create, but let me reiterate here - his primary goal in Colombia is to keep it from becoming a communist state. That’s all he wants.

OC Sicarios: Don't get Velasco (canon sicario) mixed up with Verdugo (my OC sicario). They are different characters. Verdugo is the guy who features in The Rules of Engagement.

Feo is another sicario who is an OC. More updates on him later.

Canon Deviations in Better Love

Series spoilers from this point on. I’m going to take it fic by fic, so if you haven’t read something and don’t want to be spoiled, stop at the bold print. Again, Better Love is super fucking plotty, so I thought it was only fair to give you guys a reference sheet. Lord knows I need one, too.

The Rules of Engagement: Introduces Ears. Horacio Carillo did die recently, but Javi’s role in his death is undetermined/not mentioned. Javi does start working with Los Pepes during Rules, but only after he and Ears have their fallout. All of the bullshit with Martinez Jr. and the Castaño brothers takes place during the time that Javi and Ears aren’t speaking.

Aftershocks: Establishes with certainty that Javi is working with the cartels. His primary contact with Los Pepes is Don Berna. This is going to be critical later. Also establishes that Don Berna has more connection to the Cali cartel than he does in canon.

Yours: Establishes that Connie Murphy is a badass biker bitch with a heart of gold, because I think the show did her dirty. She loves Steve and Steve loves her. Ears and Stechner get to know each other a little better, and Javi doesn’t like this one bit. Ears starts thinking about a leak in Search Bloc, and how dangerous that might be for Javi.

Bang: Javier Peña gives Ears a shady ass, probably trafficked gun for her protection. We don’t know details of where he got it. Solidifies the bro/sis relationship between Steve and Ears. Implies heavily that Javi is doing some shady things with some shady folks. A light introduction to the theme of weapons trafficking in Colombia, which was a massive problem that is barely even mentioned in the show. It will feature heavily in Better Love.

The Shoebox: Introduces the character of Arturo, Ana Delgado’s shady older brother. Ears starts wondering if Ana knows more than she should. Confirms that the Fernando Duque arc does take place in Better Love, and that Javi is genuinely torn up by it like he is in canon. This leads Ears to start thinking more deeply about that leak in Search Bloc, and she begins to actively collect evidence with the intention of sniffing out the rat and keeping Javi safe. Mentions sex trafficking, a major problem in Colombia at the time, and also a minor theme later on in Better Love.

Shit Hits the Fan: Establishes that Arturo Delgado is actually a hitman working with Los Pepes, and that he and Javi have gone on some raids together. Javi is desperate to keep this a secret from Ears, who is friends with Ana, both for her protection and because he’s kind of ashamed of how deep he’s in with Los Pepes. Establishes that in the wake of the Ferando Duque debacle, the Castaño brothers did not reach out to Stechner for help, but instead decided to put a hit out on Javi to either kill or scare him off. Javi is no longer working with Los Pepes, but he never did find out that Stechner was the one who set him up in the first place.

The White Room: Bill Stechner reveals to Ears that her purpose in Colombia is to be his own personal spy on the DEA. He is investigating a mysterious sicario named Feo in relation to a massive russian weapons ring. Bill wants Ears to report everything that the DEA learns about Feo because he suspects that Feo might have connections with FARC, a communist guerrilla group that is Stechner’s public enemy number one. Ears realizes that she’s in deep shit, and also realizes the depth of the resentment between the DEA and the CIA, and how much their goals in Colombia actually oppose. Stechner is revealed to be a real bag of dicks here.

Closing notes

Whew, okay. I will update this post periodically if more information becomes necessary or if you guys have questions, and I’ll reblog it if I do. I’m going to go ahead and tag my taglist folks in this, just because it’s a huge information dump. Of course, you probably don't need to know these things to get the gist of what’s going on in Better Love, but if you’re a chronic overanalyzer like me, it might be helpful.

Also, let me know if you guys want a list of the characters who are major players in the series. I know I had to make one for myself but I wasn’t sure if posting it would be overkill (this is probably already overkill, tbh).

Tags: @jedi-mando, @aerolanya, @pikemoreno, @bitchin-beskar, @mostly-megan, @huliabitch, @starsandmando, @starlight-starwrites, @thirstworldproblemss, @knittingqueen13, @yespolkadotkitty

Javier Peña tags: @magpie-to-the-morning, @tiffdawg, @danniburgh, @1800-fight-me

Mad love to you guys if you’ve stuck around for this long.

#Javier Peña #Javier Peña x reader #Narcos #pedro pascal #Narcos fanfiction #Javier Peña x you #Javier Peña fanfiction #Better Love #the rules of engagement #better love notes

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sarahwroteathing · 5 years

Text

English 284 (1)

Word Count: 1495

Summary: Your proposal to teach a new class combining art and literature is accepted... under one little condition. (College AU)

Warnings: Language

A/N: We’re doing impulsive writing again because it worked well the last two times. Oof. Here we go again, folks. Image is of a painting mentioned in the chapter: “Ophelia” by Sir John Everett Millais. (Source)

Steve’s Perspective .

“Fellas, it’s happening!” you said, shoving the door of the lab open with your hip, laptop balanced precariously in your arms.

“Seriously? I changed the code yesterday! How did you get in here again?” Tony complained, letting his head fall forward onto the table with a dull thunk while Bruce scoffed.

“You changed it to my birthday, smartypants. Besides, my ID is still authorized on the card reader. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you enjoy my company.”

You pulled a spare chair over to the table where Tony and Bruce were working, planting your own laptop primly on a stack of battered notebooks. Bruce’s probably. Tony abandoned paper ages ago.

Despite the token protest, Tony was actually your closest friend at work, a pairing that completely baffled your colleagues. The specific brands of eccentricity displayed by English professors and Engineering professors didn’t tend to mix well. But the Dean of Studies, Pepper Potts, had recommended befriending Tony on your first day, and his quick humor and ostentatious confidence had effectively drowned out the imposter syndrome that plagued you during your first semester teaching. You’d met Bruce Banner only a few days later, and sharing lunches in Tony’s lab in the basement of the Engineering building had solidified into sacred tradition by the end of your second week.

“Did you hear back about the new course proposal?” Bruce asked.

“Yes! I got the email notification on my way over here, but I haven’t opened it yet. Tony, tell me your wife isn’t going to break my heart.”

“We don’t talk about work at home. But I read your proposal, and it sounded… Well, I wouldn’t take that class, but it sounded like something Pepper would be into.”

You squirmed anxiously in your seat, logging into your email with a deep breath. You’d worked on this course proposal for the better part of a month, editing and re-editing the syllabus at least a dozen times. You had titled the course “The Painted Word.” A full semester class studying famous myths, plays, poems, and novels and the works of art they inspired.

The idea formed when a picture of Sir John Everett Millais’s “Ophelia” i had sparked a lively debate among the students in your Shakespeare seminar. You’d spent the next week researching artistic representation of iconic characters and stories, and when you’d given a few of your classes the soft pitch of the course, you’d acquired more than enough signatures on the interest form to issue a formal request with the Dean of Studies. Being met with such enthusiasm had lulled you into a sense of security and excitement. In your mind, the course was already set in stone. Which is exactly why the email on your screen landed like a gut punch.

“She said no?” you asked faintly, your eyes scanning and rescanning the first sentence. “While I appreciate your enthusiasm and the care and attention you put into your work, I do not feel that I can approve the course as you’ve submitted it.”

You blinked owlishly but made no move to intervene when Tony snatched your laptop from its place in front of you. Bruce rolled his chair to read over Tony’s shoulder, and they wore twin expressions of puzzled displeasure which would have made you laugh if not for the current state of your professional goals.

“She didn’t say no! It’s conditional approval,” Tony corrected, his expression clearing as he reached to roll your chair closer to him. “Look.”

I’m intrigued by the course description you’ve laid out here, and it certainly has no equivalent in our current course catalogue. I think we would be remiss to limit the course to the English Department and encourage you to consider an interdisciplinary approach with the Art Department. If you’re willing to collaborate with one of their professors so that students can benefit from the expertise of both relevant disciplines and gain credit with either department, I’d be happy to approve the course for the spring semester. I’d recommend getting in touch with Steven G. Rogers. He has taught a number of interdisciplinary courses during his time here, and I believe he would be a helpful resource for you.

“She doesn’t think I can handle this on my own?” you asked, running your hands through your hair in frustration. “I have a Ph. D, dammit! I don’t need a babysitter.”

“I’m sure that’s not what she meant,” Bruce said, reaching around Tony to squeeze your shoulder. “She just wants to open up the class a little more. You know the college has been pushing for more interdisciplinary classes.”

“Who the hell is Steven G. Rogers, and why does she think the sun shines out of his ass,” you muttered grumpily, determined to hold onto your bitterness just a little longer.

“The sun couldn’t possibly shine out of his ass with the stick he keeps up there,” Tony said mildly, shocking a laugh out of you.

“Oh, God, tell me I won’t be stuck teaching with a stuffy old grump for a whole semester.”

“I’ve never had someone ask me to lie to them before. This is a weird feeling. Takes the fun out of it, almost.”

“He’s not that bad,” Bruce protested.

“How do you both know this guy? I’ve never heard of him before in my life. This is - ”

You broke off with a sigh, reclaiming your laptop and searching the faculty directory.

“Why does this stupid website never have any pictures,” you complained, scrolling through his profile.

“Be grateful. It would only make it worse for you,” Tony said with a smirk before smacking your hand away from the keyboard. “Wait, wait, wait! Does that say ‘Gentle Yoga?’ What the hell does that mean?”

“Yoga but in a sweater? On a pile of pillows and he braids your hair after?”

Tony snorted and started to respond, but you clapped your hand over his mouth immediately.

“Shut up. I heard it as soon as I said it. Don’t make it worse.”

“It’s just low impact yoga. Lighter stretches. For people who don’t feel comfortable or able to do standard level yoga. We usually get a few students with sports injuries or disabilities.”

You and Tony both turned to look at Bruce, staring in silent shock for a few moments before speaking.

“...Did you say we? Why did you say we?”

“Bruce, do you have something you’d like to tell me?”

Bruce rolled his eyes, pushing up from his seat and crossing to his bag on the other side of the room, very pointedly ignoring you and Tony who were frantically scooting after him in your rolly chairs.

“Bruce!”

He had pulled out his phone and was typing something, but he pivoted to block your view when you tried to peek.

“I’m texting Steve to see if he has any open spaces in his teaching schedule next semester. You’re welcome.”

“Why do you have his number?”

“Because we take turns teaching gentle yoga, which I’m pretty sure you’ve already figured out at this point, so drop it. And Tony has his number too by the way.”

“What?”

“Judas.”

“I thought you said he had a stick up his ass?”

“Well, the stick is sometimes useful, okay? And he’s not the worst person I’ve met. After a few whiskeys, he even approaches fun.”

You let out an incredulous laugh, abandoning your chair to pace the length of the lab.

“So you’re saying I should give this guy a shot?” you asked, massaging your temples against the stress headache that was starting to creep in.

Bruce’s phone chimed quietly.

“He says he has an open space. Should I put in a good word for you?”

You wandered back towards your laptop, looking wistfully over your syllabus.

“What are the chances this class will still be recognizable after his input?” you asked mournfully.

“You can change your mind and say no if you disagree with him. Find someone else,” Bruce said with a shrug.

“And he’ll pull his weight?”

“He’ll pull all the weight unless you strongarm him out of it,” Tony said with a laugh. “Look, Pep knows what she’s doing. If she thinks you two would work well together, she’s probably right. Her last recommendation turned out alright, didn’t it?”

“You keep trying to lock me out of your lab,” you pointed out half-heartedly, but you gave a nod to Bruce who immediately started typing.

“Yeah, well. Gotta keep you on your toes.”

“He said to send him the syllabus and let him know when you can meet to talk about it,” Bruce cut in, tucking his phone back into his bag.

You let out a deep sigh, nerves already fluttering to life in your stomach at the thought of having to pitch this class to a colleague again.

“What are the chances this turns into a huge disaster?”

“I’d say about 50/50. Either way, it’ll be entertaining.”

“Tony!”

“What? She asked!”

---------------------------------------------

Alright guys, what do we think? Are you into it? Excited? How do you think the meeting will go? Do you wanna read more? Let me know! Asks, reblogs, and replies make the world go ‘round!

Part 2

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Tags: @aubzylynn @shifutheshihtzu @internalbullshit @lilasiannerd-blog @kennadance14 @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @iwillbeinmynest @scotlandasshole @netflixa @hardcorehippos @singingprincessstudent @sophiealiice @blue1928 @tinuviel015 @jacks-on-krack @a-book-pressed-rose @fvckjamesbarnes @bbparker @battlebunnyteardropsinthesun @feelmyroarrrr @breezy1415 @orangespocks @multifandomgirl-us @majesticavenger @buckybarneshairpullingkink @patzammit @pato-el-cerdito

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers series #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fic

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hollandspiderling · 5 years

Text

Pillow Talk

Summary: Pillow Talk | n. Sweet and inviting talk that really has no point. Doesn’t have to be sexual nor follow anything sexual; intimate talk between lovers while lying in bed.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader (Uni!AU)

Warning: None, just plain old fluff.

Word Count: ~3.5k

Author’s Note: Here is another one-shot that I couldn’t help myself with writing. I found it in one of my old archives on a website I used to write on and wanted to revamp it. Also imagining just being all soft and cute with Tom makes my heart melt, hope you guys enjoy reading this! xoxo, Astrid.

‘Another tiring day done…’

You smiled to yourself as you put away the last dish in the cupboard before stretching your arms. The faint sound of the shower could be heard as you leisurely made your way towards the master bedroom. A contented sigh escaped your lips as you mentally gave yourself a pat on the back for accomplishing the goal that you’ve had for a while. Ever since you and Tom decided to move in together, you promised yourself that you’d become a better cook for him. When you guys first started dating during your first year of university, you weren’t that great of a cook but being the gentleman that he was, Tom always gave you high praises for your first attempts. Three years later and with his request of moving in, you took it upon yourself to sign up for cooking classes in your spare time as well as watching YouTube videos to follow. And once you saw the twinkle in his eye and the way he ate your food with much gusto that night, you knew that your hard work finally paid off.

As you entered your shared bedroom, you untied your hair that was in a bun and ran your fingers through the tangles. Music could be faintly heard in the bathroom as Tom continued taking a shower and you hummed along to the tune. You did your usual nightly facial routine before changing into a loose V-neck and a pair of Tom’s boxers. A giggle escaped your lips as you listened to your boyfriend sing along to Umbrella by Rihanna. You rolled your eyes as you made sure your things were ready for work the next day thinking to yourself, ‘As much as he says he hates Umbrella ever since he did the lip sync, that boy still loves to sing along to that song.’ Slipping underneath the white covers, you plugged in your phone into its charger as you heard the shower stop along with his music playing from his phone. The door opened and his familiar scent of Old Spice filled the bedroom as he rustled around for clothes.

Setting down your phone on the bedside table, you turned around and smiled at him. Tucking your hands underneath the pillow you were lying on; you admired your boyfriend’s toned body. His boxers hung low to the point where you could see the slight dent of the dimples on his back as well as how toned the muscles of his back were due to constantly working out. He dried the curls you loved to run your hands through with the towel that was hanging around his neck and you didn’t flinch when he turned around to find you staring at him. Tom smirked lightly as he playfully winked at you.

“Admiring what you see?”

You laughed and threw his pillow at him. “What can I say? You’ve been getting more toned every time I see you. I can’t help but admire the progress.”

“You have to thank Harrison for asking me to gym with him. The guy never knows when to let me breathe.” Tom chuckled as he slipped on a pair of sweats.

“Remind me the next time we all come together for dinner. I’ll definitely have to give him my thanks for making sure you are in tip-top shape.”

“What’s that supposed to mean, darling? I wasn’t at my best shape, before?” he joked, tossing his pillow that fell onto the floor back at you. He gave you a pout and you playfully shook your head.

“You know that’s not what I meant, Tommy. I’ll love you in any shape or form. But that V-line is getting more and more defined every time I see you.” You teased and playfully wriggled your eyebrows at him. You laughed as you hugged the pillow he threw at you. Tom quirked an eyebrow at you as he stopped drying his hair and said, “Y/F/N, keep looking at me like that and you will be getting tickled once I’m done here. Never ever give me such a cringey face again.”

Jokingly mimicking back what he said to you, you laughed and motioned for him to sit on the bed you shared before getting up from your position. You grabbed the towel and began to softly finish drying his hair for him. Tom closed his eyes and leaned into your warmth. A contented sigh left his lips as he turned his head and softly kissed the inside of your wrist before crossing his arms over his chest.

“You are such a dork, love; I sometimes catch myself asking why I’m with you.” He jokingly murmured.

You tugged on his hair lightly and smiled in victory as you saw him wince. “Well I guess you’re stuck with a dork who is the only one that is able to nerd out with you. You’re stuck with me babe.”

He smiled at your words and melted inside when you pecked his cheek and patted his shoulder. Tom would never get tired of your company and it’s these times that you guys had to yourselves that kept him going when things at work got tough. A moment of comfortable silence fell upon you two as you enjoyed each other’s presence. You peppered his face in kisses before moving away and lightly slapped his shoulder.

“Alright, now finish up because I’m getting lonely here.” You giggled.

Tom groaned as he lazily got off the bed and began to make his way back to the bathroom. He turned around and winked at you. “Don’t miss me too much, I’ll be back love.”

“Don’t worry, I’m more than comfy here on this bed. But if you do take too long, then I might just knock out before you.”

You shook your head in amusement as you heard him laugh and stuck his tongue out at you before disappearing into the bathroom. Falling onto your back, you stared at the ceiling as you waited for Tom to finish getting ready for bed. You still couldn’t believe that your relationship was still going strong despite all that you’ve been through. Your friends and the people around the both of you claimed that you guys wouldn’t make it due to your busy schedules because a lot of couples would often not make it through their first year of university. Your orbits never met unless it was with your friends on the weekends when everyone was free, but other than due to being in two different majors, it sometimes got hard to make time for each other. But in the end, you proved everyone wrong by going strong all throughout your college careers and finally moved in together after landing stable jobs.

Four years and it still feels like we just began dating…

Your eyes traveled to the picture that was sitting on your dresser. It was a photo that the two of you took when Tom surprised you with a trip to London on your third-year anniversary. You were in the midst of laughing as you held onto your cardigan and his arm was slung over your shoulder. You smiled to yourself as you remembered that you were walking along the bridge across the river when all of a sudden Tom surprised you from behind before kissing your temple and took the picture. On the back of it, Tom had written a heartfelt message to you once it was developed, promising that he’d never hurt you and one day make you his wife.

“Falling asleep on me, already?”

You looked over your shoulder to find Tom smiling down at you as he joined you under the covers. You shook your head and nodded towards the photo you were looking at.

“Nah, I was reminiscing our London trip.”

Tom’s arms automatically wrapped themselves around your frame, bringing you closer to him. Spooning her, he nuzzled into the crook of your neck and hummed in happiness as he remembered your trip as well. You closed your eyes as you relaxed in his embrace, both of you wrapped up in your own world.

“It was a great trip, wasn’t it? I feel like that was what solidified everything between us.”

You felt him nip your neck lightly and you slapped his arm playfully. “You’re such a div.”

He let out a husky laugh and said, “I wasn’t referring to our last night, but besides that wonderful event and constantly hearing my name from you, it was the most that we got to spend time with each other. It was a whole week, just the two of us, with no one to disrupt our time together.”

You hummed in agreement before turning over and snuggling deeper into his embrace. Your legs became entangled with each other as you laid your head in the crook of his neck. You traced the outline of his collarbone and he began to play with your hair. A comfortable silence fell onto you two as you enjoyed each other’s presence after a long day. It was true that your London trip was the most that you spent time together. Your schedules were demanding, and you were only to spend one to two days together when it was during the holidays. The only reason why you kept so strong with Tom was because of your constant communication with and faith in each other.

“My favorite part was seeing your flustered expression when I dragged you with me when I was bikini shopping.” You murmured as you smiled to yourself.

Your mind flashed back to when you realized that while you were packing in haste, you had forgotten to pack a swimsuit. After a little bit of convincing, you dragged Tom out with you because he also ended up needing to get some stuff on the way anyways. Once you reached the store, Tom’s expression will forever be kept in your mind. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights with his eyes wide and constantly moving around when he followed behind you. Tom had his hand covering the lower half of his face when they were in the store and the light tint of red that could be seen on his cheeks made him so adorable to you.

He pouted slightly as he remembered and poked your cheek. “The only person that I’ll admire is you and seeing all those kinds of revealing clothing with other women in the store, I didn’t know how to act.”

Tapping his nose, you chuckled and said, “Well you looked quite adorable, just like an innocent child.”

“I can’t help it if my mother raised me right.”

“She definitely raised a wonderful gentleman.”

Tom smiled as he warmly looked down at you. Pecking you on the lips lightly Tom tightened his grip around you. “God, what did I do in my previous life to deserve you?”

Moving onto his back, he pulled you on top of him. You rested your palms on his chest as you looked down at him. Tucking a couple strands behind your ear, he gave you a tender gaze.

“I’m serious Y/N, I hope you always remember you’re the best thing that has happened to me. I’m going to make sure I marry you.”

“You said those exact words when we were at London. You even wrote it on the back of the picture.”

“I did, didn’t I? When we do get married, what kind of wedding are you hoping for?”

“That is if I actually do end up marrying you, Thomas Stanley Holland.”

Tom faked a gasp and immediately flipped you both over. He huffed as he caged you with both of his arms on either side of your head. “Don’t be so mean, sweetheart. No matter what, you’re going to be stuck with me because you’ve stolen my heart since day one.”

“You’re such a cheeseball.” You murmured as you caressed his face.

Leaning into your touch, he hummed in agreement. “You’re the only one that can make me feel like this, darling. But I’m serious though, what is your dream wedding?”

You pursed your lips in thought as you wracked your brain for an answer. With how busy your life was, you never really thought about what you wanted for in a wedding. Now that you were twenty-four, it did make sense that it should be something you should start thinking about.

“I guess maybe…a garden wedding? I don’t know, I’ve never really thought about this. But I do know that I don’t really want it to be that grand of a wedding. I just want family and close friends to be attending.”

“A garden wedding? I can see that considering how much you love roses.”

You chuckled as he pecked your lips and rolled onto his back. Turning onto your side to face him, you comfortably set your head onto his arm and smiled. “I’ve loved them ever since you gave one to me when you asked me out.”

“I was pretty smooth, wasn’t I?”

You scrunched up your nose in thought as he looked at you from the corner of his eye before staring at the ceiling. Running a hand through his hair, you gave him a look before saying, “Right, so hesitating in front of me for a good couple of minutes before saying everything in one quick go was smooth. I was so caught off guard when you suddenly pushed the flower into my hands. But…it was pretty sweet that our class’s heartthrob actually wanted me as his girlfriend.”

“Of course, I wanted you. Didn’t you know you were one of the most highly sought girls at that time?”

You shook your head and shrugged. “How could I pay attention to that when a certain someone was always trying to steal my attention? As much as I wanted to hide from all the attention you brought along, everything worked out, in the end, didn’t it?”

“Exactly. Now let’s fast forward a bit, if we were to start a family, how many kids would you want?”

“Two, but I really hope it’s a boy first and then a girl.”

Tom smiled in amusement and leaned in to peck your forehead. “You didn’t hesitate with that question, sweetheart.”

“Ironic isn’t it? I didn’t know what I wanted for a wedding, but I knew exactly how many kids I wanted.” You replied and looked up at him before you both laughed.

He shook his head and began to trace random patterns on your arm. “I think it’s cute of you. I’m assuming you want a boy first so we can raise him up to be a gentleman and a protector for our future little girl.”

You nodded and smiled warmly, “Growing up, it was only me and my older sister. But despite how much I love her and look up to her, there was always this part of me that wished to have an older brother to protect me and be close with.”

“Well, now you have your own protector who’s willing to stay by your side forever.”

You softly gazed at him and pecked his jawline. “Of course, and I’ll always be thankful to have you in my life.”

Tom wriggled his eyebrows playfully and asked, “What about their names?”

“I’m not sure, whenever I think about baby names, I always tend to change my mind. So, I was thinking of just naming them when they’re born, y’know?”

“Understandable. Just imagine Y/N, we’ll have our own house and two little kids constantly running around. It’d be paradise, don’t you think?”

You snuggled closer to him and hummed in agreement. “Everything will finally fall into place, Tommy. But I’m fine with the here and now as well. With you by my side, I feel like anything is possible.”

You felt Tom chuckle and tenderly kissed your forehead. “That’s supposed to be my line.”

Smiling slightly you savored the warm feeling of his kiss and said, “I guess when it’s two in the morning, your cheesiness begins to rub off me, babe.”

“Are you getting sleepy?”

You shook your head and said, “Now it’s my turn. You never told me or maybe I don’t remember. What got you to fall for me in the first place?”

“You probably won’t even remember what I’m going to tell you because our first moment together was really short.”

You gave him a questionable look and Tom smiled down at you. “It was actually before we officially met each other.”

He pulled the blanket over you guys and changed your position, so you were laying your head on his chest. As he remembered your first encounter, he lovingly ran his fingers along your back.

“It was the day where they welcomed all the freshmen to recognize their achievement of getting in and for choosing our university. You were with your friends and I was with mine, but I managed to bump into you when we were getting lunch in front of the rec center. At first, I thought you were going to go off on me for not watching where I was going, but you simply brushed it off and gave me a smile that I’d never forget. Before I had the chance to introduce myself, Harrison had popped up behind me and dragged me away.”

You tried remembering the memory and your eyes widened in realization. “That was you?!”

Tom laughed and nodded. “I guess I was lucky when Haz grew a crush on one of your friends or else our groups wouldn’t have intermixed and we wouldn’t have met.”

“I still can’t believe you have all that mush inside of you, Tommy. You’re the physical representation of a guy who fell in love at first sight.”

“I only show these sides of me to those who deserve it and you most definitely do, because you’re mine. You’re the only woman who managed to make me feel attracted to and fall for you Y/N Holland.”

“Y/N Holland?”

“What? I can’t get an early start of calling you, my wife?”

You laughed as he began to pepper your face with kisses, and you managed to hold his face in your grasp.

“It has a nice ring to it… I like it.” You softly replied and planted a kiss on his nose.

“It’s going to be your surname in the future, so you better get used to it.” He smiled.

Meeting his tender gaze, you couldn’t help but kiss him. You both smiled against each other’s lips as Tom brought you even closer to him. Letting go of your kiss, Tom rested his forehead against yours and caressed your cheek.

“Y/F/N, I love you.”

“I love you too, Thomas Stanley Holland.”

His gaze softened as he watched you sleepily rub your eyes. “We should get some sleep, baby girl.”

You whined as you clung to him and said, “But I want to keep talking…we haven’t gotten a moment like this in a while.”

“We’re living together, love. We’ll have many more moments like this, but it looks like you’re going to fall asleep any second now.”

“Ugh I hate it when you’re right.”

Tom laughed and kissed your pout before bringing the blanket up to your chin. “Well I love it when you get adorable like this.”

“Good night, Tommy…” she murmured.

He watched as you curled up against his side and smiled sleepily. Swiping a stray strand of hair away from your face, Tom leaned down and lovingly kissed your temple.

“Sweet dreams, darling.”

Smiling to himself, he watched his angel fall asleep. Once your breathing slowed down, he carefully moved onto his back and turned attention towards his bedside table. As best as he could without waking you up, Tom opened the top drawer and took out a small satin pouch. Setting it on top of his chest, he opened it up and took out the velvet container. He looked at you once more and bit his bottom lip. With his right hand, he opened up the small box and admired the silver diamond ring that sat inside.

At the moment, you each had a ring on your pointer finger. It was a promise ring that he had gotten for you both on your second-year anniversary and now that he felt like the moment was approaching soon, Tom had to be prepared. The following day was the day he was going to set his plan in action, and he wouldn’t keep you waiting for long. Every fiber in his body knew that you were the one. His boys were all ready to help and your friends were already growing in excitement when he told them the week before. Now with you in his arms, the time will come.

Soon, he’ll ask the love of his life to marry him.

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland smut #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker fanfiction #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x fem #tom holland x you #tom holland x fem!reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland one shot #uni!tom

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bl4cklabyrinth · 4 years

Text

ROCKIN’ON JAPAN December 2018 Interview Translation: Hiro talks about S･S･S

Disclaimer: Please do not retranslate my work into other languages, as my translation may not be accurate. I am no Japanese or English native.

The biggest thank you to Anna for helping me get the magazine clippings!

Photo from here.

The band has overcome its limits, and has given life to the masterpiece “S･S･S”

A solo interview with Hiro, where he shares his thoughts on finally getting to where he is now!

The rock band MY FIRST STORY has finally reached its full potential and came out with a simply amazing album.

Hiro has been making declarations for quite some time now – his thoughts towards his family, the meaning of his life, and the meaning behind his songs. At times they’ve been fired as a clear declaration of war and at other times as words of encouragement, but the truth is, until their last album “ANTITHESE”, those declarations naturally became a melody, a lyric, a song, against which MFS has always struggled alone.

However, this album is different. This album is solely dedicated to music. It’s just rock. It’s purely loud and piercingly melodious.

High quality, open, and very poppy music is being sought after. This is, so to speak, practically the first album they’ve made in which Hiro’s talent as a musician bloomed upward beautifully. It’s been 7 years since their debut, and it’s incredible how they were able to make it this far to get a chance at performing for 2 days at Yokohama Arena.

MFS and Hiro’s journey is finally approaching its quintessence from hereon. I talked at length with Hiro, who had made a breakthrough.

- How’s the band doing?

Hiro: It’s been pretty good. For better or for worse, we haven’t been aggressive since Budokan. I think we’ve been able to maintain our pace without spiralling out of control.

- Would it be safe to assume that that vibe was reflected in this album?

Hiro: Actually, I think this is the album that came out the best. On the flipside, it felt like everyone was just completely following my lead for our last album “ANTITHESE” (laughs). While continuing the course of the previous album, it was through our egos then and our desire to “take it easy”, “ do things freely”, and “try out all sorts of things” that this album came about.

- “ANTITHESE” was made in such a way that it just drilled you down, drove you into a corner, and squeezed you dry. Was the process completely different this time?

Hiro: About 3 or 4 songs on this album have been around since we made “ANTITHESE”. The songs “M.A.D” and “REMEMBER” are two of those, and more came about when I discussed how I wanted to make more songs like them with the members. “ANTITHESE” came together nicely, and I thought it would be nice if we could develop it further with these two songs.

- So there was no talk of putting those two songs on “ANTITHESE”, huh.

Hiro: In my mind, those 14 songs are the full maximum, no more or less than that. I didn’t want to put anything extra. But I thought, “The songs are cool, I wanna release them. Maybe in the next album.”

- I see. Did you already have some sort of vision as to what you wanted the album to be like from that stage?

Hiro: I did. “ANTITHESE” is like a boy while this one’s like a young man, as if it got a bit more mature. There are a lot of minor details that went into it like chord progressions, riffs, melodies, and rhythms, but we made it wanting to convey a sense of indirectness or something like, “Ah, this is pretty cool” when listened to.

- That sounds great. It’s like an upgraded version of the band, like “MY FIRST STORY 2.0”.

Hiro: That’s right (laughs).

- I suppose you could make another album like “ANTITHESE”, but to return to that point in your life...?

Hiro: That’s pretty tough (laughs). Once you’ve spit it all out once, the things you want to say the second time around will definitely be different. I can’t make another album like that.

- I believe you struggled in order to put out the album “ANTITHESE”, but after doing so, did you feel something like, “I’ve wrung out everything I wanted to say, what do I do now?”

Hiro: I did, I did. Personality-wise, I can’t keep writing lyrics that only convey “hope”. There are a lot of other artists who can do just that and make it resonate with everyone, so when we realized that that wasn’t what we should be doing, we thought we had to write ourselves realistically the way we are now. It’s easier to get a bird’s eye view of the song’s world rather than the lyrics’, so I would say, “We made a song like this last time, let’s try to make it more stylish by adding a tension chord,” or have an idea in my head like, “We did this last time, maybe we should do this next time”. I honestly thought it’d be boring if we only put out songs like “ALONE” or “Fukagyaku”, and the songs themselves aren’t gonna die out anyway, so “ACCIDENT” was born. Sometimes it’s harder to figure out how to flesh things out from there (laughs).

- In terms of lyrics, what kind of changes have taken place since the end of “ANTITHESE” up to this point in time?

Hiro: Probably up until around “ALONE” and “ANTITHESE”, the lyrics had only been about me. But as you would expect, there isn’t much more to say (laughs). I’m not all hate. The lyrics I envision or write are of my ideal person. So it doesn’t mean that I live my life that way every day – of course I’ve betrayed myself countless times, and I’ve lied to myself as well, but you can’t see that part of me from the outside. Those who receive it as a song lyric always think that that’s all there is to it. Humans aren’t that strong – there are days when your mind is on the edge, and there are days when you feel like you’re not your usual self. Rather, I think it’s during times like that when people can relate to the lyrics. When I started writing with that in mind, I was surprised at how much I could write. I was so adamant about needing to write in that tone of voice, but I was able to remove that part of me after doing Budokan which made things a lot easier.

- The more you listen to it, the more you realize that the lyrics are very personal. You also feel a sense of living that you’ve never felt before.

Hiro: Yes. It’s important to show different sides of myself, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to write more in the future. I also look forward to what kinds of reactions I’ll get when I put out such things. It’s like, I didn’t cook anything super elaborate, I just tried making something out of what I had in the fridge. But I’ve been doing this for 7 years now, so I think I can make a pretty decent meal with what’s stocked in the refrigerator (laughs). You can do a lot of things with the nuance “as long as the dish is good”. I think that’s how the album came to be, in a good way.

- I think that’s a great change. For the longest time you’ve been setting up some sort of hurdle that goes, “How many people truly understand what I’m feeling here?” but that was taken away and now it’s just like, “If you like music, give it a listen”.

Hiro: That’s true. In a sense, I’ve finished what I wanted to do, so I thought I’d take a more casual approach to MY FIRST STORY. I’m now able to challenge all sorts of things I wasn’t able to do in the past. Conversely, I think the 5 years after Budokan will be even more difficult.

- In the days leading up to Budokan, MFS as well as Hiro were looking for a way to end things, or even a way of life in which things would personally end in the most beautiful way possible.

Hiro: Right. It’s still the same now, it’s never ending, but I definitely don’t want to continue doing this on an emotional level. So far, we’ve made it clear that we’re aiming for Tokyo Dome. I think it’d be tough for the people watching over us to support us if they didn’t know what we want to do, what we’re trying to achieve or what our goal is. We can’t keep running in the dark with no goal in sight, but we have to keep running regardless. By putting what lies ahead of me into words, I feel like it solidifies the path I should be taking. When we started the band, our goal was Budokan, but after finishing that, it became Tokyo Dome. This time, I wonder what will happen next after Tokyo Dome is over. Only then will we know what the future holds, but right now, I think Tokyo Dome will be the end of the road for MFS 2.0.

- Then after that, you might find something new again, or you might think, “It’s over”. You never really know, huh.

Hiro: Yeah. It’s like a plot with a clear introduction, development, twist, and conclusion. We’re called MY FIRST STORY after all, so if we don’t convince ourselves that we’re in a story with a beginning and end, we won’t be able to continue running ahead. I’m the type of person who can’t pull through unless I set a goal to run for 1 hour or 10 km. Because we decide on a location to aim towards, in a sense, we become able to keep moving forward.

- I see. That’s a good mode to be in.

Hiro: That’s right. It would be tough if I kept the same pace as I did moving towards Budokan (laughs). And even if I did go at the same pace, I don’t know if I’d be able to make it. If I thought about it all the way through until we got there, everyone else would be thinking about it too, so I thought it’d be better to stop fussing over it for a while. I’ve thought about it enough. So for now, at our own pace, we’re focusing on working with what we can sensibly come up with, what would be good for us to do, and what we’re capable of doing now. I believe it’s for the best.

- I really admire how Hiro, who was searching for his final destination, is now singing about wanting to continue on with MY FIRST STORY.

Hiro: Yeah. I as well as the members are excited for what lies ahead, not having to be bound to a certain rock band image or genre. Of course, the members and I definitely have our pride and things we want to maintain, but none of us have a “must do this” mentality. Because of this, I think there’ll be more opportunities to try things out in the future. With the addition of Kid’z, we’ve moved past Budokan, and I’m sure there’ll be even more in store from now on. The members have been getting along really well lately. We’ve been hanging out a lot, and when I taught them how to play poker, they all got hooked and played together until morning (laughs).

- For real? (laughs)

Hiro: When you spend time together outside band activities, your perceived values become the same, and the things that come out of that will be more different than how they’ve always been in the past. I think the ideas we’ve been putting out and reconciling with each other up to now are becoming more and more whole. If you don’t experience or feel the same things on a regular basis, you won’t be able to create much. I think we blend together really well right now, so I’m looking forward to the future.

- The first thing I noticed this time was your voice. The way you sang and the variations in your singing voice were really well done. It’s like, “There’s this drawer, and this drawer, and if you’d like, there’s this ceiling”. It kind of felt like that way of singing was finally unleashed.

Hiro: Really? Thank you. For me, it didn’t feel that way this time at all, I felt it more so when I made “ANTITHESE”. But just like the “even if you overthink things, there’s nothing much you can do” thing I mentioned earlier, if you think too much about it and then try to sing, that’s when you surprisingly become unable to sing. So now, instead of trying to sing without letting the pressure get to my head, I focus more on casually internalizing what I would think if I were the listener. Mainly thinking, “If I add a little touch here, would it sound weird,” or “I wonder if it isn’t bad”, I would’ve sung it rather quickly so I wouldn’t think too much about it.

- So it would be like you were just singing along to the music?

Hiro: Yeah. As if that’s just the way I wanted it to be.

- I’m sure there were a lot of variations in terms of music, so inevitably I’d assume there were variations in the songs as well.

Hiro: Ahh, I really wanted to make an album that wasn’t straightforward. Of course there are straightforward songs as well, but I wanted to throw in a few curve balls there too. Curves, sliders, forks, knuckles, all sorts of things were thrown together to make it work, and specifically having that in mind made things easy to understand when we were putting the songs in. It’s like, “No matter how you look at it, it’s this kind of song. Well then, let’s sing it that way”. It was easy to grasp for me as a listener and as a singer.

- If you listen to this album objectively, what do you think about your vocals?

Hiro: I’d tell myself, “You had a lot in mind when you were recording, huh.” However, I can definitely sing without an issue this time around, so I feel totally fine listening to myself now. I’m really jealous of people who can shake it off and say, “This is who I am”, because I can’t. But I was thinking, if I could push myself hard enough to be able to sing like that one day, I’d feel much better, or perhaps something new will be born within me from there. This album allowed me to experience that. Rather than having me in the song, it’s something I created, something I can present as a part of myself. This album shows the breadth of my own evolution and what lies ahead. It goes the same way for MFS as a whole, too. That’s why I’m really glad we tried making an album like this.

- You’d want to say, “It’s a masterpiece!” but I feel like it’s more so “There’s gonna be more masterpieces from now on”.

Hiro: That’s right. It’s like the meat in a course meal. And then it’s gonna be like, “We’re serving pasta after this,” “Eh, seriously!?” (laughs)

- Even the band members are playing very freely, huh.

Hiro: Yes. This time, I wasn’t present for the members’ recording sessions at all. They’d call me and ask, “What do we do here?” and I’d answer, “Eh? Anything goes” (laughs). Of course I knew the dates, but I wouldn’t go even if I was free (laughs). There’s nothing for me to do there even if I went, and we all have our own things we want to pursue and things we want to do with the songs. I didn’t think it was right for me to say how things should be done. Even my parts aren’t perfect, and I wouldn’t know what to say to the member in question if I wasn’t sure whether the part they worked on was done correctly or not, and I feel like telling them what to do would take out all the fun. Realizing that it’s better for me to listen objectively to a piece of work created through everyone’s efforts was a huge help. On top of that, I’m able to do the things I want to do – it’s already an ideal situation (laughs). I don’t care what they do, as long as they don’t commit a crime (laughs).

- Amazing. I never thought the day would come that I’d hear those words from you (laughs).

Hiro: Hahahaha, it’s true. We didn’t start out as friends. We just considered each other as fellow members when we started the band, always keeping one another in check with a great deal of care and a little bit of stress. However, even if Budokan was for me and for everyone listening, it was the members who understood me the best. From that point on, we didn’t really mind each other’s businesses anymore, and it became like, “Why don’t we just say what we want to say to each other, we’ve come this far after all?” They know their parts, and they know themselves better than anyone else, so there isn’t a whole lot to complain about anymore. Even if one of us would make a mistake at a show, we wouldn’t say, “Play it right” or anything like that anymore. They know what they’re doing, and they know that there’s nothing else to respond to such a comment other than “I’m sorry”. If doing so would immediately change things then go for it, but if they continue on without changing then just tell them off. They’re not the kind of dudes who don’t do anything, and on the contrary, it is me who gets his ass kicked more often than not, so I don’t really have anything to say to that. That’s about as good as it’s gonna get.

- That’s great. You’ve finally come this far, huh.

Hiro: Yeah. I’ve been feeling like I’ve gone rather far lately (laughs).

- Is it because you made this album?

Hiro: I think it’s more because we were able to appreciate each other more, or realize, “It’s okay to do this now”. As for the album, it was a piece of work that made me feel like I could see the future in more ways than one.

- Up until now, the band’s primary identity had been what Hiro squeezes out and screams about. In that case, it’s not so much about how you want people to hear you play, but more so about how you can bring your cries and messages forward.

Hiro: That’s a pretty hard task for the other members to do. But all of that is over. If that had been the case until now, I would have never said, “The members can do whatever they want” and this album would have never been released. Back then, I’d go, “Let’s do it like this here,” “The last chorus definitely goes after the bridge,” but it hasn’t been like that these days. Now we’d go ahead and say, “This is good,” “Interesting, interesting”. It’s like the kids who always had to ask permission from their mom have disappeared.

- “Young man” is a great metaphor in that sense as well (laughs).

Hiro: Mhm. It’s just like disciplining a child – just because you did it before doesn’t mean you’ll grow up that way, and saying too much isn’t a good thing either. We are all different people after all, and whether we’re lovers or family, we can’t understand each other 100% of the time, so we have to accept and trust each other more. I don’t really like it when people grow apart because of work. I want to make a team like the one in “Wild Speed”. We all get along really well, getting together in a garden to have a barbecue and stuff like that. It’s partly because we have such a good sense of team spirit that we’re able to do things indie. I wouldn’t be able to continue on unless I had a team with the same ambitions and the same passion to move forward. Seeing a lot of adults being considerate of me makes me feel better about myself (laughs). The members are the ones who understand “Let’s take it easy” the most. This may seem natural, but it’s super hard to do. And now that I’m able to do so, it feels great.

- You’ve truly made an incredible rock album. And it’s good that your methods can effectively be used to make more in the future.

Hiro: In fact, it’s been going so smoothly that it has become the focal point of our work process, so I don’t think it was difficult for anyone. Scheduling was pretty tough though. In August, I was singing at shows and recordings for 15 days in a row or something like that. Some of the songs didn’t have melodies or lyrics yet, and I was thinking, “Seriously, what are we gonna do!” but we had the same situation when we were making “ANTITHESE”, so I was like, “If you have the time to say ‘Oh no’ or ‘We’ll never finish’, then use that time to continue working instead” (laughs). Because of this, I’ve learned to believe in myself. The members were on a super tight schedule as well, but they would respond to requests from me like, “I want to change the first verse” or “Sorry, take it down a half-step”, so I was confident that everything was going to be okay. We may be in a hurry, but I no longer get worried or anxious.

- There were a lot of songs that used the words “white” and “black” this time. However, rather than black and white symbolizing “win or lose”, it was more of “There’s a part of me that’s pure white, and a part of me that’s pitch black”, providing a perspective that allows us to see both sides of you in the same light.

Hiro: That’s true. “ANTITHESE” was always about me, but that was completely overturned this time, now having different main characters for each song. Then, I wrote the lyrics, sang the songs, so there are many different stories of me in this album. Sometimes they’re of a similar hue, but still slightly different in shade. Of course, I didn’t write about colors that I didn’t have at all, so I was able to recreate the colors in my mind, or rather, sublimate them in the form of music.

- It’s like, “Sometimes it’s white, sometimes it’s black. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. But that’s just the way things are, right?”

Hiro: Yep. With this one album, we’re no longer limited to, “This is what I say in this song, so I have to keep saying this”. It’s like, “That isn’t always the case, you know. I’m only human” (laughs). Like, “Sometimes I feel that way, sometimes I don’t”. It doesn’t matter if they’re on the same album. I was able to reach that point in my life, so now I have a wide range to work with.

- That’s why Hiro’s melody-making skills are being opened up to the fullest.

Hiro: This time, I mostly worked upwards from the chorus. After breaking apart the original chorus, I’d go, “This one’s catchier”. I didn’t even stick to the general concept of the melody – I’d try to make one, but if I wasn’t 100% sold on it, I’d try to make 10 more, and then I’d go with what everyone said was good. The premise behind a melody is that it’s something you can hum along to when you suddenly hear it, so I didn’t want to change my approach of starting songs from there. Nowadays, people don’t say, “This song is good”. They say, “These lyrics are good”. Because of this, I want to create a catchy melody that’s easy to remember, one with a rebellious spirit, and at the moment, I think it’d be good if it were in Japanese. That being said, I want everyone to be able to say, “This melody is good”.

- I think it’s a really well-made album. I thought that the Hiro who’s been shouting out what’s inside his heart has made it this far (laughs).

Hiro: On the contrary, it’s exactly how I imagined it to be from the moment we started the band up to this point in time. Our pace and work are progressing as well with a margin of error of about 0.5 mm. Thing is, we’re gonna start with a completely clean slate from here on out, so we’re in a bit of a hurry (laughs). We’re kind of in a standstill right now, but if you’re asking me how I feel about the members or the music, I’d say, “Well, it’ll be okay”. From this point forward, I think we’re just gonna have to put ourselves out there. To be honest, we aren’t really sure ourselves either (laughs), but from now on, it’s not gonna be a story that was created – it’s gonna be a story that we create while walking forward.

#my first story #マイファス #print #2018 #yay #first full-length magazine interview translation #pats self on the back #am I ready to translate the Antithese interview though #oof #Hiro

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illfoandillfie · 4 years

Note

.......don’t be shy........ show us the comment 👀👀

lmao i will show you but only because i’ve already responded to it. I don’t want anyone to be mean to the commenter or make their own responses or anything like that. I’ve got no problems with people critiquing my work or offering suggestions on how to improve and she was very polite about it. It’s just that I didn’t agree with some of what she said lmao

okay so this comment was left on the prequel to Interloper (Snapshots From Before)

I usually don’t comment a lot in here (tho i do give lots of kudos) and the first part of this was so awesome that i’ve read it many times! However, this second part felt kinda... sexist? I think you gave this the wrong approach and ended up with the boys being a little mysoginistic, specially Roger telling y/n “if you are that hungry for dick you can ride me” (i’m not actually quoting the exact line but it was like that). I would’ve love to see at least one scene where you show some after care and the boys actually caring about y/n so we could see that their relationship is a healthy one. Without this, it just seems like she’s bassically a human sex toy. I get it, it’s the whole “she’s just holes to fill” and that’s great, i respect people who are into that, but even then there has to be some caring and empathy from both parties. Also, orgasm denial is hot but regardless, having sex has to be rewarding for both participants and Roger just sorta fucked her and asked her to leave? In a very non polite way? Sex is about both parties reaching to climax and equality for both lmao.😅 I know it’s a one shot but i would’ve like to see the non sexual part of y/n’s relationship with the boys other than post coital conversations. Again, i loved the first and third part, i think you have so much writing potencial within you and you should embrace it. These are all constructive critics and i do not wish to make you feel bad or offend you. I actually enjoy the whole mecanics of these raw, awesome, hot, sexy sex scenes but even though its fiction (which i know) and this whole slut kink is actually something people like let’s not forget to narrate healthy, caring relationships. Again, this seems like some eassay for a thesis but im just expressing MY point of view and i do not intend harm towards you as a writer or someone else as a reader. And yes, probably i need to “chill the F out” cause it’s just an ao3 bloody fic but still. Expressing an opinion that can help the writer improve is good! I think. Better than spreading hate. Hope you can see this note as friendly and respectul advice. Thank you so much for writing this. Have a great day! Stay safe xxx

and this was my response

Hi! Thanks for taking the time to comment, it really means a lot!

I will definitely keep in mind some of your criticisms as I continue writing, however there are a couple of places where our opinions differ, so I’d like to offer an explanation or two as to why I wrote it the way I did.

Firstly, I have to disagree with your statement that sex is about both parties reaching climax. It’s not. Not always anyway. Taking aside any kink related aspects like orgasm denial, sometimes sex just isn’t about finishing. It can be super rewarding and fun even without the orgasm. So much of an orgasm is related to a person’s mental state that little things like their mood or stress level or if they feel pressure to cum can have a huge impact on how easy it is to orgasm. And women especially can have trouble reaching climax. For some people, mostly women though it can affect men too, the sexual disorder anorgasmia makes orgasm physically impossible no matter how much stimulation they receive. So to say sex is about everyone getting to that end point isn’t totally correct. A lot of the time it’s less about the orgasm and more about feeling good during the rest of the act and/or strengthening a connection with a partner. Expecting everyone to orgasm every time is unrealistic and can in fact make it harder. Of course, that’s ignoring people who enjoy the kink side of it, intentionally stopping orgasms. A lot of people take tease and denial beyond just the length of a single sexual encounter, instead stretching it to days or weeks or months or even years of not being able to cum (fully).

Now, in regards to the fic itself. This chapter came about because I’d asked people to request concepts theyd like to see me write as a blurb or short one shot. I neglected to include the actual request in the summary or author note but the request was for a smutty prequel to interloper flashing back to when Reader was a groupie. At the time of writing I had a lot of requests I was trying to get done within a short amount of time so I was trying to keep things as brief as I could while still giving an entire story. The non-sexual aspects of the relationships didn’t feel important to include in this chapter because that wasn’t what was asked for. On top of that, the entire concept of the story hangs on how the sexual relationship dynamics change when the non-sexual relationship dynamics change and I wanted to make sure that wasn’t affected by the prequel. My goal was to establish a connection between the reader character and each of the guys and to make it feel as if there was history there, so I focused on flirty banter that led into sex scenes. And then, at the end of each scene, implied more would happen between the characters “off page”. I added in the Freddie section at the end as a way to solidify this chapter as a prequel and give a little explanation for how the main part starts (of course, at that time there was no third chapter). Plus, as Freddie doesn’t have a sexual relationship with Reader, his non-sexual relationship with her is very different to her relationships with the others, much closer to a friendship. (Which of course paves the way for how he’s on better terms with her at the beginning of the first chapter.)

One thing you imply in your comment is that as an author I should be writing healthy, caring relationships. I love writing those sorts of stories and relationships but I don’t believe I /have/ to write just healthy, caring relationships. I have a total of 38 fics posted on AO3 and I think most of them deal with “healthy” relationships. I make it a point to write aftercare scenes and to establish trust and safe words between my characters in most of my smut writing. And even if I’m exploring heavier kinks like extreme bdsm or hypnosis and bimbofication I do my best to stick to the rules of “safe, sane and consensual”. But, it is not my job as a writer to create morally perfect or role model relationships. I am well within my rights to explore relationships that don’t adhere to what is traditionally considered healthy, be that through ignoring safe words or foregoing aftercare or just having two characters be manipulative and mean to each other. If you want aftercare and “healthy” I have 37 other fics for you to look at. But this chapter doesn’t have to be that for it to be publishable.

And finally, I feel I have to defend Roger a little bit. I can definitely see how he could be read as sexist and I think part of the problem was just me trying to keep it short which meant I didn’t give enough space for Reader’s reactions or enough descriptions of emotion. But to me, as I was writing it, nothing Roger said was intended to be misogynistic or rude. I was playing around with one of my personal favourite kinks, degradation in conjunction with the orgasm denial (another favourite lmao). Everything he said was specifically to humiliate and degrade her, just because that’s what I find hot. Calling her desperate, telling her she sounds pretty begging, talking down to her, implying he’d /use/ her again later, all of that is part of the degradation kink and I intended for it to be a form of dirty talk. Similarly, the part where he says she can leave wasn’t meant to come across as rude. He calls her a good girl and brushes her hair back from her face first (a softer moment, contrasting everything else that happens between them) and then says she can leave, which plays into the denial kink and the idea that it could last longer than the time they were in bed together. Personally, I’m very very into extended denial, especially if it’s treated as a threat of punishment or something like that, and that was the inspiration behind Roger’s section of this chapter.

Thank you again for the comment, it really did make me think about how I’d written this particular chapter and my intentions behind it. And I fully agree that comments like yours can help writers improve! I’ll definitely keep in mind what you’ve said as I work on my next fic and hopefully avoid some of the unintended sexist overtones in future. Have a great day!

#lowkey feel kinda weird posting this here #but i know some of you would be curious enough to go looking for the original comment #and i really don't want it to go any further #which is also why i didn't screenshot the comment with her username or anything like that #constructive criticism is good and helpful #and i know there are things in my writing that could be commented on #and i don't want to discourage her from leaving comments in the future (be they criticism or praise)#i just thought she missed the point on a couple of aspects of his fic #Anonymous

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theseerasures · 5 years

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Frozen 2 Reactions, Pass #2

went to see the movie again yesterday, which helped solidify a few more thoughts percolating in the back of my head. i don’t think this one will be QUITE as long as the first, but everything’s going under a cut anyway because i’ve met me

tbh most of this is just me dunking on Elsa

one of the things that i think both helped AND hindered the movie is that they really did make an effort to make the sequel its own separate story from the original--hence the timeskip, the retcons, and so forth. on the positive end of things there’s obviously a much lower barrier of entry for the like...three people who never watched the first movie, and the characters get to feel more grown up while remaining (thanks no doubt to the writing team remaining much the same) consistent enough that the changes to their personalities still make sense. it never feels like it’s retreading old ground, and if fans want to connect the new ideas and themes to the older material (and i count myself among those, what with my first fic in almost four years being about exactly that), there are plenty of kernels with which to do so.

on the other hand: some of the new plot stuff really just DOESN’T work with what’s already been established. chief among those is the idea that ~~~the story of the enchanted forest with requisite creepy lullaby~~~ is a well remembered bedtime story for BOTH Anna and Elsa?? like what does this imply about their childhood? that their parents told them this same bedtime story over and over again, but separately in their own respective rooms? that Elsa got charming bedtime stories about magic-based conflict and war???

(”yeah papa!!! please tell me again about how magic can not only kill people but also SUNDER AN ENTIRE LAND FROM REALITY, that story’s my favorite!!! looking forward to some really spirited nightmares tonight!”)

or are we supposed to assume this is like. the thing bad Batman writers try to do where everything poignant that has ever happened to Bruce happened the night his parents were murdered? that Elsa and Anna remember the story only because it was the night of the Accident (tm)? because that’s...also stupid, i gotta say.

i love that Elsa’s verse in this song start with “the winds are restless” bc it’s exactly the way i imagine her starting conversations with her hapless subjects. “good morning, Your Majesty! how goes the kingdom?” “the winds are restless” “...” “...” “...yes. that was...something i noticed as well”

Local Sisters Make Every Time They See Each Other in Town a God Damn Event

ever since @professorspork pointed out how stupid the “and i promise you the flag of Arendelle will always fly” line is in Some Things Never Change i haven’t been able to stop laughing about it. it’s just such a BLATANT telegraph: “whooo!!! yes! Arendelle!!! we all love that place and want to save it, and you can tell because the song said so!”

the Friends shot of them all walking back to the castle and Anna has kicked her heels off is great though i love it

also love the multitude of shots where it’s Elsa and someone else and we get a peek at her silent reactions to whatever the other person is saying. not since Legolas have we been blessed with so many memeable dumb faces

“ah yes, Mama’s words! cuddle close, scootch in! you remember her saying that all the time right Elsa?? after all it’s not like you have any decade-long baggage about not being able to be near anyone, most especially family members, because you were deathly afraid that you’d instantly murder them”

more thoughts on why Into the Unknown stands out so vividly in my mind: the first movie’s songs by and large did a VERY good job of moving plot around while still exploring character emotion. Do You Want to Build a Snowman moves us through ten YEARS of story, while still leaving space for long, unsung moments where we just get to process what’s going on between the sisters as they grow up. For the First Time in Forever catches us up with the sisters, gets the gates open, and has Anna meet Hans at the end, a pivotal moment for both her and the plot. Love Is an Open Door has them get engaged and sets up the rest of the story. Let It Go is Elsa’s big character shift and sets up the goal for the other characters: the ice palace is where they all need to go to bring back summer. the FtFTiF reprise begins the endgame. the other songs are all more fluff pieces that JUST serve to introduce characters, which is why they’re...not as good, and most people don’t really care about them, but we can accept that they’re there because the strength of the other material.

with Frozen 2...Into the Unknown is pretty much the ONLY song that fits into the first category: Elsa works through her conflicted feelings about wanting to explore the unknown, AND wakes up the spirits (sidebar: her pure joy at using her powers to communicate with the spirits is SO GOOD, guys. it gets me every time). the other ones just kind of transporting their singers into the Emotional Expression Dimension for them to do their thing. sometimes the songs transport them to the next plot point while they’re singing, but nothing really happens DURING them. i can give Some Things Never Change a pass on this because it’s supposed to be about stasis (and because i’ve bitched about it enough on other fronts), but much as i love Lost in the Woods and Next Right Thing for their character exploration they’re really just music videos to get us to the next scene. Next Right Thing is particularly egregious about locking the plot in the boot--the ENTIRE sequence is just Anna climbing or slumping against random rocks until the song ends and she can actually move the story along. one could make an argument that Show Yourself does get stuff done, but it’s still mostly Elsa running around in a cave for three entire minutes before we get to that point

i don’t think Get This Right is perfect but it DOES pull off the multitasking well, and it would have not only resolved the torturously stretched engagement subplot early on but creates a nice thematic echo to Love Is an Open Door: she really knows Kristoff, she really loves him, and she proposes. it’s her choice.

Kristoff’s line about question of how/question of whether works great for highlighting his continued insecurities, but again: either we’re supposed to think he’s wrong and Anna has ALSO been thinking in terms of how and she’s just been too busy in sister-drama-land, and this whole plot should have been resolved early, or we’re supposed to think that Anna really ISN’T on the same page, in which case they...probably should have a serious conversation about where they see their relationship going and not just get engaged at the end because Elsa made a new dress

as soon as an HD version comes out i demand a gifset juxtaposing Anna slumped against a rock with Anna slumped against Elsa’s door at the end of Do You Want to Build a Snowman, because this whole sequence is where the distance between sequel and original really WORKED. Anna is singing about how alone she feels, how she’s never felt such darkness before, when we know that that’s...not true. she's felt pretty close before--not long ago that was her whole LIFE. it’s natural for her to feel this way, because being knocked off your happiness always hurts more than never having it in the first place, but we the audience get to have faith in her, because we remember. eventually she does too, and now she knows exactly how resilient she can be, exactly how strong she’s ALWAYS been.

the animated faces are SO GOOD. we see Anna flicker through seventeen feelings at once when Kristoff rescues her from the dam: delayed fear, relief, and--this is the crucial one for me--horror that she survived, because that means she’s going to have to live with the fact that Elsa didn’t.

Elsa riding into the sunset of her sapphic life is great obviously but every time i see it i worry that the movie is going to end with the same face smear effect as the Prisoner of Azkaban movie

#disney #frozen 2 #helen writes meta

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starswornoaths · 5 years

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Top 5 favourite MSQ events.

@lightsmercy I sat on this one for a while, in part because I sort of had to mentally sift through them for the ones that I really liked/liked the way they surprised me, but mostly because I had to track down their quest names (and lemme tell you how hard it is to just look up “that one quest where that thing happened” and get what I need ;_; but thank you so much for your patience!!!) I’m going to stick to ARR quests for the sake of my own sanity (otherwise this list would be impossible to make. There’s too many, dammit) and I’ll be listing them from 5 to 1, with 1 being the one I liked the most (or in this case, “like” is more “it shocked me in a way I wasn’t prepared for but made sense in the narrative so I liked it, even if it destroyed me”) (also under the cut bc I got real rambly about it. I just like talking about literary themes/foreshadowing/symbolism in game stories, sorry ;_; HERE WE GO!!!)

5. “Escape from Castrum Centri” This one…hoo boy. The entire quest arc leading up to this is amazing, for the record (I’m also a sucker for rescue missions and the planning thereof, but I always have been,) so I was hyped as we were led up to this quest. The whole breakout of the scions was fun, but man the whole while the Scions and myself were just going around like, “but Thancred??? Where is Thancred???” and it solidified that though they give him endless amounts of shit, the second the chips are down they’re all there for each other- you know, like a family or something, and then when we saw he was possessed by Lahabrea, and that that was what had led to them being captured, even! MY HEART!!! (Also I would like to submit a formal complain to SE for making Minfilia sad enough to cry out to her possessed father figure. Why would you do that to her. How dare you, SE. She didn’t deserve that.) Thancred’s possession didn’t feel like it came out of left field, either, something that I loved: there was a lot of foreshadowing that he was going to burn himself out in a very dangerous way even as far back as our fight with Ifrit, and even his optional dialogue if you speak to him was just him not coping with anything. It still surprised me, but not in a way that made me feel like the rug was pulled out from under me in a bad way, and I love those kinds of surprises in stories.

4. “Yugiri’s Game” This one caught me off guard (and solidified that these kids were unofficially adopted by the Scions, too and were adored and doted on at every turn,) because Yugiri had managed to teach these little kids, who had only just recently escaped their war-torn home, the basics of being a shinobi while masking it as just a game of hide-and-seek. She was teaching them how to keep silent and hidden in the event of the Garleans finding them. Having such an innocent children’s game turned into a method of teaching survival was as clever as it was heart breaking, knowing that it was a necessity, that the kids knew why they were taught this way, and that the kids were still optimistic and cheerful in spite of that knowledge. The Doman Adventurer’s Guild is run by some wonderful kiddos, and this was a wonderful way to show that.

3. “Blood for Blood” helped cement that though Haurchefant, while the staunchest ally for building relations between Ishgardians and the outside world, he was not the only one that was willing to accept the aid of an outsider when they know their own people are failing them. Really, much of the Ishgardian quests within ARR did a beautiful job of leading up to Heavensward in that it showed that thought the government was rigidly against working with the outside world, its citizens- especially the working ones who just wanted to get by and not get into the political bullshit- were more than eager to work with those outside of Ishgard, though it also did an equally amazing job of showing how scared the population was of the Holy See and its Inquisitors- with their unilateral (and as is exposed with this questline, frighteningly unchecked validity of its own) authority, they can accuse anyone who disagrees of heresy, and their trial is literally a fucking witch trial. There’s no winning in such a trial: either you die and you’re proven innocent, or you refuse, in which case they kill you. These quests really solidified for me that going into Heavensward, we were going to have to save the Ishgardian people from it’s own government just as much as we would have to save them from the dragons.

2. “Recruiting the Realm” was…eye opening. It did a wonderful job of really cementing the world’s view of the Scions, the Leveilleur name, and what everyone really thought of Alphinaud’s altruistic but ultimately doomed endeavor. The moment it was revealed that not only did Alphinaud obtain funding from the Syndicate, but that he was utterly disinterested in neither disclosing that to us, nor entertaining our concerns about it, it confirmed two things for me: 1) that though he (and really, at that point everyone that was a major NPC in a political position) genuinely cared for us and considered us a friend, we were, before anything else, the Weapon of Light (yes, Weapon, but I’d be here all day dissecting my thoughts on that and why I come to that conclusion) and weapons aren’t exactly asked for their opinions on the wars in which they are used, and 2) that A Realm Reborn was only going to end in betrayal and tragedy because all of the players involved thought they knew better when they didn’t.

1. “All Good Things”

Look. I’ve rambled at this point for several paragraphs more than anyone likely ever wanted me to, but holy shit I can’t articulate how much this gutted me- and how I liked the way in which it gutted me without writing a thesis on it so I’m sorry again in advance but from a writing perspective I love this quest so goddamn much.

Because it could have been easier for them to just have us ring up Minfilia following our success and have the attack on the Waking Sands already happening. It would have been easier to instill a sense of urgency and “Holy fucking shit we need to go now” to get us to the Waking Sands quicker, only to find the scene that we did. That would have been the expected trope: I mean, really, how many times has that sort of thing happened in video game stories before?

But they completely subvert that by having you report in to Minfilia as usual, and she’s always so bright and cheery and relieved that you’re okay, and her dialogue was just…in hindsight, it was fucking artful.

“Pray return to the Waking Sands, where you shall receive a hero’s welcome!”

And you have a moment, where you first get to the Waking Sands, where you realize that Tataru isn’t in her usual spot on the stool at the table by the door. And you think, “oh, that’s to be expected, she’s probably with the others downstairs waiting for me!” So you go down the steps and through the door like every other time before. You expect it to be warmly lit and densely populated. You expect everyone there cheering and glad that you’re alright.

You load in, and then your stomach drops.

The lights are off, the vases that were otherwise just background pieces to fill space are knocked over and askew, and there are dead bodies in front of you- one of which is in a Garlean uniform.

I can’t properly articulate the way I felt cold when my brain caught up with what I was looking at. And I saw that the quest marker was pointing to Minfilia’s chamber, but I didn’t go down that way. I turned left first.

More bodies. Bodies of many of the NPCs that had always been there. Characters that had dialogue that updated with your quests, characters that were working on their own accomplishments and goals alongside you, characters that cheered you on as you went about your duties. Dead.

I couldn’t remember any of their names. I couldn’t remember any of their dialogue that stood out to me at the time. I even cried over the lalafell mender that usually stood on top of the boxes in there, because I couldn’t find him, either.

Then I went to the Antecedent’s chambers and…hoo boy that Echo. That Echo. There’s a whole new type of helplessness when you’re watching a recording of a tragedy, personal or not, where you just wish you could reach out and just make it stop, but you can’t. You just watch in horror as people are gunned down, or stabbed, or taken away. You watch as Minfilia, at the ripe old age of fucking nineteen, doesn’t flinch when Livia fires a shot near her face, tries to negotiate sparing the lives of those she’s responsible for. You watch as Livia shows the levels of cruelty to which she will sink in the way that she not only denies that negotiation, but just kills a few more people- one of her own included- just because they annoyed her.

And then you watch poor little Noraxia, who had only ever done their best, die because you couldn’t save them, either.

The quests that follow are ones of grief, ones of mourning. Ones of a lost person meant to carry the weight of all the hopes and dreams of the dead with them as they tried to rescue those that were not yet lost, but this quest…this quest continues to hit in that specific wound for the Warrior of Light: the further into the game and expansions that you go, even and especially recent content, you’re reminded that though woe betide those who stand against the Warrior of Light, those who stand with them are no safer.

#lightsmercy #thank you for the ask!#I'm sorry that got so wordy #I just...#*clenches fist*#I just fucking love talking about this shit #anyway ARR had quests that were completely amazing and award worthy and I'll die on that hill too #top 5 asks #ffxiv asks #seriously I could write entire novels about the story and how both it affects the MC and how the MC affects it #I mostly just don't for fear of boring people tbh

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soysaucednd · 5 years

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Traveling in D&D: How TF do you do it?

Hey, GM here! Have you ever had trouble figuring out what to do with a party of adventurers to get them from point A to point B? This post is for you. I will provide my strategies for getting players from one place to the next, along with links to where I learned some of them and my general thoughts on the matter.

Travel is an interesting problem in Dungeons and Dragons. It has to happen pretty much until the party has gotten to the point where they can use magical teleportation, but it can quickly feel formulaic and boring if handled incorrectly, and I know I have been at fault for making travel insufferable many times as a DM. In a campaign I am running, the party is about to embark on a 500 mile journey to a far-off city, so I wanted to see what I could think of for making the sessions about the journey rather than the destination.

One way I am thinking of trying to make travel more interesting is to use it as an opportunity to solidify and showcase the worldbuilding I as a DM have spent hours upon hours working on. Letting them discover areas that are of historical and mythological significance. For example, in my campaign there is a legend of a war that was won by a King Arthur like figure from the nation’s past that unified the country, and one of my towns is said to be where he fought a great beast and his shield shattered to pieces. Adventurers have tried to find the pieces, believing that the shield held great magical power. Or, I have a town where my big bad was raised that has information about her backstory if the party digs deep enough there. Spend some time figuring out what interesting pieces of lore you can tie to locations on your adventure

Secondly, I want to give my players to feel like travel is a real part of the game rather than an intermission.

In my experience there are two types of travel in Dungeons and Dragons: on the road, and wilderness. I’ll start with On the Road.

Things I count as on the road traveling are moving from one town to another on a main road, moving within a town itself, and traveling through areas where they have accurate maps, even if it is a wilderness area. Generally, what ties these together is that they are along a clear path towards a clear goal.

Generally, if I am running travel on the main road of a kingdom, I will have already made a basic map of my world, with the significant towns and the main roadways and some information about each, along with a d20 table with a few encounters that is balanced in a way that matches how dangerous you want this path to be. This way, if the players are traveling from one place to another place far away (such as from a provincial town they’ve just liberated from bandits to the capital city of the realm), I can add actual settings in between as they pass by other towns and cities on the way. Instead of filling the road with combat encounters, I can usually assume that it is fairly safe beyond possibly a few highwaymen, and use the golden rule of “skip the boring parts.” They arrive in the new town they’ve never seen, there are some plot hooks, new NPCs, and mysteries to be solved, or they can press on. This same basic rule applies to travel within cities.

For on the road travel in a wilderness setting, I usually add more plot hooks like the goblin attack from Lost Mines of Phandelver onto the path rather than have towns and cities on the way. Players can discover a mini-adventure on their way, that way they feel like they are discovering things rather than being stopped and diverted from their goals by force.

Next is Wilderness Travel. This type of travel is aimless and simply for discovering areas they do not know about. It is often far more dangerous, and I like to prepare different encounters based on the dangers that might be in the environment the players have found. These can range from encounters the party will have little trouble with to encounters designed to force the players to run away.

Encounters can, of course, mean any number of things. Traps left by hunters, beasts to battle, areas to explore, temples to old gods, you name it. I generally err on the side of showing them a path to follow and letting them choose whether to bite, which helps the world feel more real and reinforces the idea that the players are not the center of the universe. In my games, I try to make the players feel as though they are acting upon a world that isn’t shaped by their actions until they pass around 15th level. For instance, if the party is ambushed by a large group of bandits, they feel like they are important, that the bandits have sent their entire encampment to kill them. If the party instead fights maybe three bandits and through that they find a path that leads to the encampment where 15 more are camping, they feel more like they are discovering the inner workings of their environment rather than being acted upon by them. They are simply passers-by in a world with its own culture and its own systems of life that don’t necessarily care about the heroes.

To me, wilderness travel is an opportunity to remind your heroes that the world is a big and scary place, and that they are not all powerful. In my experience, wilderness travel is a great opportunity for vivid descriptions and attempts to disorient or unsettle your party using the environment. Missteps or bad survival rolls can and should remind the players that they are mortal. I don’t usually like to track food and water, but this is an opportunity to explore how the party will react to food and water supplies dwindling, or attempts by creatures to steal their food during the night. Encountering and battling dangerous beasts is only one way to remind the players that the world is not tamed by their existence, and will crush them if given the chance.

The other main strategy I have seen for wilderness travel is the concept of skill challenges (thank you to Matthew Colville on youtube for this idea). I have yet to try this in a game, but his concept is to have each player justify the use of one of their skills (ex: a ranger rolling survival checks to forage for food) over the course of the journey. Then, depending on the length of the journey, you have them roll a specific number of skill checks and track the successes and failures based on a DC you determine. Based on the number of failures among the group, you decide on an encounter for them, harder for each failure. As I said, I have not used this method, but it is something I want to try the next time my party heads into the wilderness to search for adventure.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvQ2JgZIjVI) Here is a link to Matt’s video on making travel interesting, I would highly recommend watching it and his other videos.

A final note, don’t be afraid to simply say “you get there” if your party goes off in a direction you haven’t planned for. It’s better to skip to the next section where you have content than to scramble to create a whole world for them to travel through. Not all sections of your adventure should have Lord of the Rings style epic escapades, but if you have the time to prepare and write down a mini-adventure on the open road, I would highly recommend it.

TL;DR

ON THE ROAD

Plan out the path that the players are taking. Know what they might encounter on the way.

Make d20 tables for encounter hooks that scale to how dangerous you want your environment to be.

Emphasize hooks over encounters. Let the players see something they can explore and decide whether to bite on it rather than stopping the adventure dead for a moment to have combat for the sake of something to do. (Remember the goblin ambush at the beginning of The Lost Mines of Phandelver?)

For long journeys, have them discover towns and cities on the way where mysteries and adventures are available for them to follow.

Weave your worldbuilding into the journey. What important historical events might be tied to your locations? Are there any myths that might be centered around a specific locale?

WILDERNESS

Make d20 tables that include a wide range of difficulty for encounter hooks.

Remind the players they are insignificant compared to the environment, and the world would keep going without them.

Make some encounters that are designed for the players to run away from. They are not the mythical heroes of old, and some things can and will kill them.

Again, weave some worldbuilding into the areas you explore. Are there legends of specific monsters in the area? Are there ancient artifacts or locations told of in myth?

Explore the concept of skill challenges from Matt Colville (who knows it better than I do. I’ve just seen it as a common strategy.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvQ2JgZIjVI

IN GENERAL

Don’t be afraid to skip travel if you don’t feel confident writing encounter hooks and lore.

Steal and alter encounter hooks without shame.

Discuss with your table how they like travel to be run. Run through your idea on how to do travel with the party so they know what to expect. Just generally stay on the same page and make sure your party will enjoy what you are giving them.

If you and your party are having fun, you are doing it right. I am writing this post because I want to toy with ideas on how to run travel in my games, and provide a resource for people who might be having trouble.

If you made it here, thank you for reading! If this was helpful, please give it a like and a reblog, and respond with your ideas on travel in D&D! Maybe some stories from times your party has been on a long journey.

#GM tips #dm tips #traveling #D&D #dnd #d&d 5e #soysaucednd #dungeon master #game master

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bloodvvit · 5 years

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[Wanted to write a little ‘slice of life’ look into how Kai was raised once the Boss took him on, as he was mostly looked after by a higher ranking kyodai named Izo. Kai idolizes the boss, but also takes a shine to Izo, seeing him as kind of a older brother/mentor figure.]

Kai’s long eyelashes fluttered against the high angle of his cheekbone as he roused, having not realized he’d dozed off while lounging at the foot of Izo’s mattress. Curled up with his knees to his chest and his skinny arms tangled around a pillow, the fifteen year old squinted against the light unhappily. With a slow stretch in place, he pushed himself to a sitting position and got smacked in the face with a discarded shirt.

“You’re still getting dressed?” the youth accused in an irritated tone. Huffing softly, the young yakuza heir jerked the colorful fabric from around his skull. Rather than throw it back at the preening, indecisive gangster pacing before his closet mirror, Kai expertly flapped the article of clothing out by the shoulder seams and carefully laid it down atop the length of the bed to join the rest of the kyodai’s wardrobe.

“We’re never going leave if you’re taking this long… Why does it matter, anyway? Is it a big meeting between the Bosses?” he asked, sounding miles more interested, if that was the case- rather than watch the man mull over more suits.

Izo held one shirt, then another over his chest as he inspected his reflection in his newly bought and installed full length mirror. Both looked equally good on his skinny frame. That was the one good thing about being built like a tall lamp post — it was easy finding clothing. Nearly anything he bought looked good when it was hanging off his bony shoulders.

“Nah, go back to sleep. I’ve got a hot date tonight,” Izo said as he turned sideways and tried yet another shirt. “Well, not really. I got a meet and greet with some of the guys at a hostess club. I might as well try not to look too shabby.”

The juvenile yakuza frowned even more at this revelation. And here, he’d been hoping for a fun and exciting evening out, not being abandoned at headquarters, when he could have been spending more time leaning how their business worked.

“And you’re wasting time on an outfit? You usually bring me along…” Kai frowned and narrowed his eyes, following the vivid lines of elaborate inkwork decorating Izo’s back, shoulders, and arms in a curious fashion. He’d seen them before, it wasn’t like his partner didn’t leap at the chance to show them off.

“Hey, aniki… Your tattoos. The last time I asked, you said they have certain meanings. Can you tell me more about them now?” he asked in a hopeful, but careful tone of voice. “We’ve been partners for the past three years, almost.”

Heh. Precocious boy slinging emotional words like ‘partners’ around. His devotion to hustling was adorable. Izo knew better, but the sweet way the brat went about saying it was like drinking down warm honey. It was a pleasant kind of warmth.

“The outfit’s like a storefront window, it’s for convincing,” Izo said as he looked over his shoulder at Chisaki’s ward. He wasn’t looking so sleepy now, and his intense stare made Izo lift an arm to check out the black lines snaking about his rib cage. The ink work wasn’t done yet, just a series of outlines scattered about his shoulders and back. The goal was to eventually get a whole shirt done, but until that happened, Izo was content to only brave the parlors sporadically It depended when his mood and tolerance for pain was highest.

“They mean a buncha stuff,” Izo hedged, “Sorta slogans like ‘I’m good at this sorta shit’, ‘I believe in that’. Some of it is because ‘a guy I respect has something like it’. Water’s obvious, you already know that one.” After a pause, Izo draped his shirt over the back of his chair. “They’re pretty nice, right?”

“I didn’t think there’d be so many… flowers,” Kai pointed out, unable to mask the wrinkling of his upturned nose at the thought. Eyelids lowering to half-mast, he quite visibly began mulling something over in his mind.

“I was wondering if the Boss was thinking I might have earned the right to get one yet. You think maybe that might happen sooner or later?”

Izo twisted to look incredulously at the boy on his bed. “What’s wrong with flowers? The’re perfectly manly. Ain’t like they’re roses or nothing. They’re not on my back because they’re romantic.”

They were there proclaiming his sense of duty, his loyalty and clear mind. They spoke of death and single-minded purpose. His skin was there for important stories and words. He’d sooner cut himself than get something like his girl’s name.

“They’re there for the things I don’t wanna say out loud. Anyone that knows about what ink means will know what they’re sayin’. As for you gettin’ yours…”

Izo eyed Kai critically. Was he actually serious? He was already that enthusiastic about being a made man? Izo chuckled, “You’re a bit big for your britches already. Nah, it’ll be later. Boss don’t have much truck on taking kiddies on. You’ve got a few more years to go.”

“I didn’t mean anything by it, I just- The last meeting you took me to was the first time I’d even seen the Boss’ ink before and those were… you know, dragons,” Kai explained matter-of-factly. The last thing he wanted was Izo thinking he didn’t understand or respect the meaning behind the imagery.

The teen folded his lean arms beneath his chin, both sharp elbows jutting over the edge at the foot of the mattress. “I was just thinking if I’m gonna stay on, then I should start thinking about it now. Or learning what that stuff all means, like you. I’m not stupid, you know… Wasn’t like I wanted to get something just to flash it at the nearest person on the street.”

Kai rested his chin on his crossed arms and sighed loudly. “Even if the Boss thought I was ready, I guess I just want know what he’d pick. It wouldn’t mean the same thing if it were up to me, right…? That’d be no different than if any civvie waltzed into a parlor and got something done for bragging rights- they don’t earn that like we do,” Kai reflected, often failing to censor his own thoughts due to his familiarity with the gangster he worked with, or simply due to his age.

Izo turned around, folding his arms over his chest as he looked Kai over. Eyes still too big for his head, despite the roundness of his cheeks. Skinny, gawky limbs that were only going to get even gawkier once he started growing — which hadn’t happened yet (and likely wouldn’t any time soon, if he didn’t start eating more.) Izo hadn’t been much older when he’d started getting seriously in over his head, doing significantly more involved things than running messages. That’d been his own damn fault, though. He’d had too big a mouth, had been too smart for his own good and run in ahead right into things he should have steered clear of, if he’d only known better.

Kai had a good little schtick going. He liked to talk big, even going so far as to act like he was already willing to go whole hog into the sorta life Izo was leading. It was a pretty good life, Izo thought, it had its perks, he got pocket money. But talking big and going so far as to get an ill-advised tattoo while sober, well… those were two entirely different things.

Izo crossed his arms over his chest as he hunched over the bed, brows drawing together. “The boss doesn’t pick it. You do. Like I said, they tell a story and it’s the kinda stuff you wanna say but don’t have real good words for it, because saying it would be lame. Get it?”

Izo turned to the side and twisted, pulling his arms up to show a spot on his rib cage where the outline of a crane was placed. It had yet to be colored in.

“See this? Got this because of a guy I knew — real swell guy. He’s old now, so he’s sick and dying. Helped me out of some tight spots and I owe him. He always had a thing for those weird-ass birds, so I’m getting this put on there as a thank you. Hopefully it’ll get done and I can show it to him before he kicks the bucket.”

“It’s up to you what you wanna say. Most guys just stick with stuff like, ‘I’m strong and I can tear people’s heads off with my damn teeth like a pregnant bear.’ The boss’s dragon means he’s like the emperor. Getting the ink means you’re a made man, but you don’t wanna get a mark someone picks for you either because it makes you theirs. You pick it because it’s what you wanna say. Got it?” Izo hesitated, then added, “There’s some that do that — let someone put their mark on them. I hear some families are into that too, like branding farm animals. If anyone says they wanna do that with you, you tell ‘em no, kick ‘em real good and come and tell me.”

Kai was far too young for those sorts of relationships and if anyone offered, that meant they were real creeps. Izo would cut bits off them in private somewhere.

The kid pushed his hands against the bed to get a better look, glancing from the silhouette of the bird coming to life on Izo’s darker skin, then back to the elder man’s face as he spoke. Kai had assumed the messages intended to be expressed through the tattoos were qualities others had to see and ‘confirm’ before making them yakuza language fact. To everyone else, he was just like any other middle school student in Tokyo. Now that he was officially partnered with a made man like his 'brother’, he felt… important. Not the way the Boss was important, but needed- Useful, like a part of the machine that was efficiently performing it’s role. In a strange way, Kai felt getting inked might confirm that- solidify his place within their ranks and as the heir to the Boss’ legacy.

“Yeah. I understand now,” he answered confidently, nodding once in affirmation. His gaze followed the swooping 'brushstroke’ of the bird’s neck as it melded to it’s back and folded wings curiously, frowning in silence as one of the notches of Izo’s ribs expanded with his breathing. “Does it hurt a lot? Especially places like these?” he asked, pointing at the thin layer of skin and muscle barely masking the bony landmark.

Izo shrugged, always a bit surprised how into medical stuff the kid was. He didn’t recall ever being like that at the same age. “Well, it always hurts when there’s not a lotta meat. I don’t have much all over, though. It’s not too bad.”

Actually, it hurt like a bitch and Izo had let everyone up and down the street know he was getting his ink done just by all his screaming. But Kai’s wide-eyed look was laying it on a bit thick, wasn’t he? Izo had to give him props for consistency, though. The teen never let up with his schtick and he had to admit in his crusty, old-young heart that there were times he was quite warmed by it. Izo reached out to press down hard on Kai’s head, sending him tumbling. When he was down, Izo dug his knuckles into the teenager’s scalp for good measure. Straightening, he grunted, “What’s this about you wanting ink anyway? Why all a sudden?”

“Hey! Come on- Stop,” the kid half-laughed, half-ordered, trying to dodge the elder man’s hands until he’d lost his balance and tumbled from the bed. He rolled from the foot of the mattress and landed in a soft pile of discarded suits Izo had thrown, unceremoniously, to the floor- vibrantly dyed and patterned silks and sharkskin cushioning Kai’s coltish knees as he fended off more brotherly harassment. The question made him pause and look back up the rail-thin length of Izo’s slouching frame, blinking once as he stared back at that narrow-eyed, searching gaze reading his own expression and body language.

“Like I said. It’s been three years. I just thought, maybe… then we’d be blood brothers. You know, officially. That’s all,” he said, brushing Izo off and leaning back against the foot of the bed. He straightened his hair back out with a few brisk tugs of his thin fingers, tilting his chin up as though challenging the man to say otherwise.

Izo tsks, tongue pressed against the back of his teeth as his movements still and he stares down at Kai staring up at him with that far too serious glare.

The brat. How was he going to say no to a request like that?

“Ah, you really know what to say, eh? Thought a lot about it, did you?” Scripted or not, he was good. Izo was melting a little despite himself. He grabbed Kai’s head, looping an arm around his neck and squeezing as he roughly ground his knuckles in with a renewed vengeance. “Think you’re such a big man, EH?”

When he eventually released the boy, letting him drop to the hard floor like he was dropping a sack of rice. He turned back toward the mirror and dragged his fingers through his hair to work out some of the new tangles. Izo made a face and gave up on wearing it down. Finding a tie, he gripped it between his teeth and pulled his hair back away from his face to reveal sharp features that looked too narrow, too fox-like for even his own tastes.

“Alright, since you say it so nicely, kid,” he muttered around the tie, “You can get what you want. But if it’s stupid looking, it’s on you. Remember that.”

#♛ WRITING #♛ META

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