#i think my favorite part of being into splatoon is that it's acted as a renaissance of sorts for all of my non-drawing hobbies

[crest-of-gautier]

ohh when i finally look through my old clips from splatoon and have time to edit weapon splats compilation(s) + that salmon run death compilation i keep saying i’ll do it’ll be over for all of you...

[autism-rizz-tournament]

Marina (Splatoon) - Autism Rizz Tournament Preliminaries

If you vote yes you must firmly believe in this character's autism AND in the rizz their autism gets them. If you don't want the character in the tournament just vote no

Propaganda:

While not canonically autistic, she does have a lot of autistic traits--she's rarely seen without her headphones (to the point where her ears aren't modeled in game), her tentacles constantly moving could be seen as stimming, and she has a very strong interest in machinery, to name a few. Marina also has a crush on her bandmate, Pearl. While it is never directly stated in-game, supplementary material basically confirms it. The Japanese version of the Splatoon database has described her as a "maiden in love," with the specific words used being in romantic contexts. Along with that, she has drawn a manga about Pearl, drawing flowers and hearts around her, and generally acts affectionate towards her in-game. It is unknown if Pearl reciprocates canonically, but she does have a very close relationship with Marina. She reciprocates Marina's hug at the end of Octo Expansion, and she is seen to be quite worried about her in the second trailer for Side Order. Pearl x Marina is a very popular ship in the fandom for these reasons.

she wears headphones near-constantly, is obsessed with heavy machinery, and is skilled in multiple forms of art (music, shoujo manga-style visual art, and stage design). she also notably chose team Order in the Chaos vs Order splatfest, and her dialogue in the announcement suggests she's resistant to change (though it could also just be interpreted as her being gay for her co-host)

this was a partly 'for fun'-type headcanon i quietly held for a while that i think was kinda niche at the time (though it is entirely possible i just wasn't in the right corners of the fandom) but then side order released and brought with it a ton of new reinforcement. to get the question of her rizz out of the way, people were so consistently horny for her while splatoon 2's splatfests were ongoing that it actually caused drama because her team typically had the popular vote and people chalked that up to participants voting based on their favorite hosts' opinion rather than their own. whether that's true or not is hard to prove, but the fact that it was plausible illustrates my point, and her popularity was even referenced in-game at one point. there's also MAJOR subtext that she and her bandmate pearl (who reads as adhd to me) are dating. now for the fun part, listed in no particular order but will probably trend towards sillier argumentation as it goes on. (includes some mild side order spoilers) - the "final" splatfest of splatoon 2 was chaos versus order, and marina's reasoning for picking order implies a resistance to change. this is reinforced in side order, in which she has to reconcile her inner desire to live in a consistent world with the fact that she knows forcing other people to conform for the sake of that is immoral when a rogue ai hijacks her virtual-reality program. - she shows signs of having social anxiety in a lot of dialogue, and it even arguably extends into her visual design because of her consistently pouty eyebrows. - at one point a childhood friend of hers mentions a time she infodumped to nobody in particular about excavators for 2 hours straight, and then pearl says she regularly goes on for longer now. - she has skill in a ridiculous amount of art forms: music, stage design (for splatfest battles, not music performance), shoujo manga-style visual art, and even programming, game design, and 3d modeling. - the logo of the virtual-reality program she designed is an infinity symbol, which also shows up in a few other places throughout it. - always seen wearing headphones, outside of specific promo art and images from her military backstory.

[possiblycringe]

5, 9, and 16... asking for a friend on that last one HDFBNJSHJDB

5. how would you describe your art style? I don't think of myself as having an art style exactly, I try to draw with a variety of styles and not limit myself to a specific style. But I'd say with my art in general I focus on substance over style, I want the characters to feel like they are in a 3-dimensional plane even if they don't look as appealing. Expressiveness is my second priority when drawing, I want the expression to be very clear. Backgrounds are a low priority and rarely add much to a scene, I'm not very creative in that respect. My current enemy is making my hands consistent and also fighting against those dang splatoon eyebrows which are just circles...if I ever draw characters with REAL eyebrows you will see my true emotion-conveying capabilities... 9. whats something you always come back to when drawing? If this is about tropes...mind control. I dunno if its obvious from my 'marie' fuzzy callie sanitized callie cyborg callie snowglobe callie Lilac ordered callie (and even mha aus I haven't touched in a year - bakusquad rooftop trio swap au nomu Mina au) I. Kinda like altered mental states. They are so fun to have a character act in a way they don't usually act, and the mechanics of the mind control is so fascinating, as well as how this characters loved ones will interact. The idea of someone being forcefully changed but another loves them so much that it breaks through is such a comfort trope for me, ever since I was a lil kid, I feel like it might be something I never get tired of. 16. how do you motivate yourself to draw? Well, I draw every day so it just becomes a part of my routine! On days where I don't feel like being creative I practice and on days I don't want to practice I be creative. Having a project to work on also helps since it gives some consistent things to do (Fuzzy Callie is such a thing for me), although I think I need to give myself a break more often when it comes to that...when I draw I usually put on a video essay or join a voice chat to hang out with buddies which helps keep me focused! And my own personal motivation is the desire to create stories I want to experience for myself. Often I find myself going back to my old fics and artwork with a smile because it taps into my favorite tropes and such. I also love getting responses from other people!

(For the ask game I reblogged - send me some more, this was fun!)

[equius]

You can't just fakeclaim people you don't even know. Systems exist, retard.

nice ableist slurs you've got there lmao

systems exist!!!!!!!! they do! but i would easily bet my next hundred dollars that these 13-17 year old pluralkit-using tiktok/tumblr/insta addicts with their laundry list of mcyt/dsmp, genshin impact, irl school shooters and serial killers, cookie run, and stranger things "alters" who exist only in froofy system and minecraft servers for the purpose of having everyone's faves to publicly roleplay as, and very badly, at that, are literally nothing but fakers. none of these people scream any variation of genuine did/osdd system to me. yes, everyone's system will be different, but it's not what these guys have going on.

i've been seeing this shit. where'd the massive plethora of everyone's encanto alters go now that it's no longer popular? oh, they've gone "dormant", have they? convenient.

splatoon 3 just got announced and you already have alters of those guys? insane. it doesn't work that way.

i've grown extremely tired of people using did/osdd as a means of claiming to have what's essentially just characters to publicly roleplay as, all for the sake of attention. the worst part is? a lot of them don't even know that they're faking. they're 100% convinced that they have a dissociative disorder because they hang out in these circles and have people clamoring in their ears that this is what they have. it's especially infectious on tiktok where everyone sees the immediate clout users get when they post their fun little alter intros with 700 neopronouns and xenogenders.

i feel like they project themselves onto characters and youtubers so hard that they've successfully convinced themselves that those people and characters are a part of them. it's also the possessiveness of your faves that make you want to have them all to yourself.

very scary knowing that a lot of these kids aren't even aware that they're faking. they spend so much time in these endo circles and dream fans with like minds that they get sucked into the system cult and get convinced all too easily that they have to be a system/plural because they daydream about their fave characters, imagine them talking and doing stuff in their head/inner world, and they think that's all there is to it.

it doesn't help that the universal desire to be unique and special and gain attention from others is instantly attainable with being a system.

sometimes people pretend that they're a fictional person or character as a means of coping with something or for a confidence boost, and it's healthy to express yourself in ways like that. it's not healthy to think that you have a dissociative disorder because of it, or claim you're a system, or "plural".

another thing is like.. these kids aren't growing up like kids used to grow up, either. i was 13 and still playing with toys, getting out my sillies and using my imagination to my heart's content, acting out scenarios with my toy horses and giving them stories, pretending to be pioneers or whatever with my sisters outside, just like.. being imaginative. and being someone other than yourself through that power. but these kids are just given a phone and a tablet and that imagination is cut off very quickly at a young age.

what are these kids supposed to think when their imaginations are running wild and they have nothing to channel it into? and they're deep in communities full of other minors and young adults who are going through the same thing, and are all convinced that it means that they're plural bc their brains are going 200 mph and they're all hyperfixating on their favorite medias and projecting onto their favorite characters. we all do that! but these guys have nothing to put any of that thought and creativity into, because they have very little creative output outside of making tiktoks or writing bad ooc fanfic about eddie munson or wilbur soot.

idk where i'm going with this. it wasn't supposed to be me ranting. but my point stands. and no one with system/collective or whatever formative words in their tumblr usernames are going to convince me of anything else. you are all so full of shit and you don't even realize it. you've convinced yourself that you're like this. you need extreme psychological help to undo what social media has done to brainwash you into thinking you have a legitimate dissociative disorder. i hope you get that help someday.

[roseofblogging]

Rose's Media of 2023 Round-up

Well, now this is truly going to be a Rose Rambles post

I am truly awful about remembering what I watched/read. Maybe I'll be better about that in 2024. Maybe not!

Noting that these are not necessarily all things that released in 2023 (but many are); they're just what I discovered at the time.

Favorite book: The Memory Police by Yoko Ogawa I bought this book in May 2022 from the Powell's bookstore in Portland while I was there on vacation. I'm very slow getting around to books due to my TBR being so long (and I go through it slowly because my day job is book editing). I was motivated to read it when some Splatoon friends started a Discord book club, and this was our first pick. It's dreamlike and strange. Some might find the vagueness on the rules of what's going on unsatisfying, but I didn't go into the book trying to figure out exactly how their world worked. It's much more about the experience and quiet horror of forgetting things and people. I had just gotten a diagnosis for ADHD shortly before starting this novel and was already in a headspace of reconciling just how poor my memory can be (slightly different, as ADHD most impacts working memory, but still). Definitely recommended, but go in knowing that it's slow and thoughtful rather than heavily plotted. Runner-up: Lore Olympus

Favorite live-action movie: Tár This is a tough one. I really, really enjoyed both Barbie and Oppenheimer, but I have critiques of both. However, Tár (which came out in 2022) just really floored me with how intense it was and how anxious it made me (in a good way!). Runner-up: Talk to Me

Favorite live-action show: The Fall of the House of Usher Not one of Mike Flanagan's best, but still very good! I don't think I can say anything about it that others haven't said already, but it's beautiful, haunting, tragic, and very well-acted. Runner-up: Andor season 1

Favorite TV anime: Gundam: The Witch from Mercury Suletta Sundays were THE BEST! I really wish this had some tweaks, maybe a part 2 fleshing out some other things (as a lot of worldbuilding started to feel rushed), but I was a big fan of all the references to Shakespeare's The Tempest and Revolutionary Girl Utena, and even sooome similarities to Evangelion (some, not many). Guel became my favorite character for much of the show, but I also love Suletta not only for being our first female Gundam protagonist, not only for being our first queer woman of color Gundam protagonist, but because I really enjoy stories about replicas/clones of redheaded characters. (This is funny because I'm replaying Tales of the Abyss right now.) 2023 wasn't one of the strongest years for anime, though. As much as I loved Witch from Mercury, it's got some weak points. Nothing really hit the same high point of the end of the first part. Runner-up: PLUTO

Favorite animated movie: The Boy and the Heron This is not my favorite Miyazaki movie by far, but it is one of the ones to feel like a very targeted attack on my post-college life! It's weird, the pacing is a little wonky, but I love its ideas and themes so, so much. I still need to see this in the English dub (I've heard wonderful things), but the original Japanese cast is fantastic. This is a very sad movie that does not seek to manipulate a viewer's heart. You know how a lot of movies know how to cue tears with swells of music? I'm not even knocking that for being manipulative--I like it! But I was so impressed with how deeply The Boy and the Heron (aka "How Do You Live?" as the English translation of the Japanese title goes) affected me without any tricks--just heartfelt moments that might have meant nothing to others. (The bread scene made me choke back tears in the theater.) This movie is about grief, but it's also about creative legacies. It's hard to watch this and not think about how there's really no one to follow in Hayao Miyazaki's footsteps at Studio Ghibli. His potential predecessors have either died or seemed uninterested (in the case of his son, who seems content not to pick up the mantle). Runner-up: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (reeeeally only because of its cliffhanger ending... It doesn't feel like a finished story.) Honorable mention: Suzume (I gotta at least mention it, because it's my favorite piece of media about dead places).

Favorite video game that is NOT SPLATOON: Tears of the Kingdom I actually had a very fun time piecing together story beats and exploring, but I still stand by it not being one of the stronger Zelda games imo. I know some people still have not played, so I'm being vague on purpose, but I actually greatly enjoyed Zelda's presence in this game compared to Breath of the Wild.

[thefanciestborrower]

Saw that character asks post, and now I gotta know more about these lads!

May I perhaps ask 1 and 12 to Ben,

And 1, 7, and 14 to James?

Also, I’m very curious if #84 had any special significance, and why you chose it!

Ben:

1. Tell us a little bit about yourself!

Sup guys! I’m Ben, and I’m one of the craziest people you’re ever likely to meet. No really, I’m pretty sure I am. I mean, not many other guys would be willing to sing on a table in front of all their friends or dive down a giant’s throat, and therefor that makes me special. I love acting, gaming, and hey if you’ve got YouTube then you should totally check out my stuff because I am ALWAYS looking to up that follower count. It’s mostly original shorts and things, but I think if enough people start spreading my work I could really make it big. What else what else...oh! I can play harmonica, which is a skill few have mastered and I am very proud of it. 

12. What’s your favorite part of being nommed?

Well what’s not to like! I mean, sure some of my friends think I’m a bit weird for enjoying it so much, but I think they’re secretly just jealous I’ve got the best spot to nap and play splatoon between classes. It’s warm, soft, and call me crazy, but even the slime is pretty fun once you get used to it. Plus I get to mess with James and listen, seeing how embarrassed I can get him with a few simple little pokes to his stomach is always a highlight of my day.  

James:

1. Alright, pred, tell us a little bit about yourself!  

Hey everyone, my name is James, and I guess the most interesting thing about me is that I play football. It’s...more of a hobby than anything really, but I love the exercise and it’s a great way to make friends. My favorite thing to do if I ever end up with some free time though is taking care of my plants. It’s a little silly and boring sounding maybe, but for me it’s also very relaxing. Which I think is important you know? I mean, I like hanging out with my friends, but I need my alone time as well from time to time. I also really like cooking and eating new foods. Again, that’s also more of a hobby than something serious, but there’s just something so fun about creating, well, art, with something most people take for granted. 

7. How does your favorite prey react to being eaten?

Oh, you mean Ben? He’s practically crawled down my throat on multiple occasions and I think that about sums up how he feels about the whole process. He’s pretty wiggly too, and while I’d be lying if I said the movement didn’t feel nice, sometimes it makes him a little hard to swallow. Mm, he’s also loud. Like, really loud. The second he realizes he’s about to be eaten he either launches into extremely dramatic ‘oh woe is me’ mode, or starts cackling like a madman. Not great for when I’m trying to avoid attention I’ll say that much. Even after I’ve got him down he practically never stops moving or talking, even in his sleep, and it can be pretty distracting when I’m trying to study. Would not recommend eating him before a test I’ll say that much. 

14. When being a pred, do you take your time?  Or do you like to hurry the process along?

Well, I suppose I tend to take my time. That is, I don’t really like to eat someone as fast as possible often. I’ve done it before of course for games and such, but sometimes that means they’ll get stuck or I end up with a sore throat, and it just...isn’t a fun experience. But I definitely eat faster than some other friends of mine, so maybe I’m somewhere in the middle? It’s hard to say. I do enjoy savoring Ben in particular when I can though. He tastes so good and...gosh this is embarrassing, but sometimes I’ll get cravings specifically for him you know? And when that happens I definitely go a lot slower than normal. 

Okay okay now get ready for this dump of American football knowledge I gained through my extensive hour of research lol and my reasoning behind choosing #84 for James’s jersey.

So apparently, those numbers on the players jerseys actually tell you what position they play! I thought it was like, idk, a way to keep track of how many people you had in the whole team or something hwjhfdhbd but NO! 

Anyways after talking with a friend of mine who is very knowledgeable about the physical attributes you need for different sports ball positions, we decided James is a tight end. Basically, in the most basic terms possible, they’re the players that are big enough to block linebackers and defensive ends but athletic enough to run fast and catch passes. They also tend to be on the taller side. So the number on his jersey is basically just there to tell you what he plays

I think there was some change that happened in 2021 that redid the number system but honestly I don’t care that much lol. Most stuff said 80-89 is the correct range for a tight end so I went and picked 84. Idk why that number specifically, it just felt nice 

[kxylynnii]

request rules

please follow these three simple rules! ,,

"Be kind and respectful" ; if I decline your request (both to anon and an actual user), please do understand to keep your response kind and courteous. I'm what they call a...sensitive individual, so your written words are like daggers, either filled with love and concern—if I myself write something offensive or hurtful—or they can be toxic and bitter. Do acknowledge that if you act insensitive more than two or three times I will block you from being able to interact with me.

"Be patient" ; Don't rush me, this is common sense. If you expect me to deliver the best, atleast try to dm me with ideas if I'm struggling with your idea or give words of affirmation. Trust me, if you want quality over quantity be patient.

"Follow Tumblr's ToS" ; Common sense, but it can never hurt to hear a reminder once in a while.

things not to request about ,,

for obey me . . . do not request luke x adult!reader (if anything i'd rather just do puppy love with him and a child character.) do not request anything overly complex with asmodeus unless you literate yourself well, i have trouble trying to break him from his pretty boy facade. do not request anything provocative with beelzebub or luke, i'm not comfortable with beelzebub because he just seems...not like that-luke is pretty straightforward on why.

for kuroko no basuke . . . as of 11/28 i haven't gotten past murasakibara being shown the very first time, so try to request things very open and not so plot restricted. i have a good understanding of the generation of miracles + takao and kagami, i just haven't understood everyone else that well (i can do seirin high's players also, Junpei is honestly the best of the background characters to me.) i don't like momoi so don't ever try to convince me to try and do a requested work with her as the main focus.

for vanitas no carte . . . don't request adult!reader with mikhail or luca, this is just like with luke but seriously those two are actual children...

twin star exorcists . . . don't request sayo x rokuro im still mad at her for doing that to the poor guy even though she apologized.

splatoon . . . do not ask me to write for deep cut i absolutely detest them, fight me i don't care for them at all. do not do some weird ship idea with mr grizz and bigman i swear to god i ask that you actually pray for forgiveness.

cookie run (ovenbreak & kingdom) . . . im still in the beginning part of the game so refrain from talking about the citadel or else you'll have me searching through the wiki again and regretting it. do understand when i write for them i write them as though their a human made out of the very things cookies are made of, like for instance pure vanilla would be dough sweeted with vanilla bean and his hair would be like hardened frosting.

genshin impact . . . i've been saying this a lot but- NO SHIPPING THE CHILDREN WITH A NON MINOR READER!!! when you request something from genshin please explain the whole idea VERY clearly, i deleted the game off of my laptop and i refuse to play it until i can pay for my own ps4 and the game. genshin users tend to do those weird "xiao pisses on you cutely" type of thing, but uhm im not into that so ask for actual professional writing...not that.

(please keep in mind when i say ship the child character with a child reader, i mean puppy love, not whatever your mind is thinking of.)

accepted characters to write for ,,, (characters bolded are my favorites and i definitely will write for them)

obey me // diavolo , simeon , mephistopheles , raphael , beelzebub, satan , lucifer , mammon , leviathan , asmodeus, belphegor , barbatos , solomon , luke

kuroko's basket // murasakibara , aomine , kagami , kise , junpei , midorima , takao , sakurai , kuroko , akashi

vanitas no carte // noe , vanitas , johann , astolfo , jeanne , dominique , luca , mikhail , luna

twin star exorcists // rokuro , benio , shimon , mayura , tenma , (all of the basara) , kankuro , subaru

splatoon // marina , pearl , marie , callie , goggles , rider , eging jr , emperor , aloha , hachi , mask

cookie run (ovenbreak & kingdom) // dark chocolate , purple yam , milk , pure vanilla , dark cacao , poison mushroom , black garlic , red velvet

genshin impact // kaeya , dansleif , diluc , cyno , amber , venti

(if there are any characters i hadn't mentioned for kuroko's basket they most likely can be requested, i can't recall all of the characters off the top of my head.)

2022 © kxylynni

[amratsu]

alright these girls have haunted me for about a whole month now time to break it all down for anyone vaguely interested in them

hololive/vtuber 101 below the read more

THE FUCK IS HOLOLIVE?: An idol agency except all of its roughly 20 or so girls are youtube streamers who have their identity protected by a live2d avatar. They recently had a very fun live concert and all of them have or will have 3d models, but the majority of content is just them streaming whatever's their fancy at the time. (As of 2/17/2020 a lot of them play a lot of ARK, thank Coco for that) Therefore, they're part of the new form of niche culture called Vtuber.

THE FUCK IS A VTUBER?: Virtual youtubers. Like a normal streamer but, again, live2d portrait instead of their actual face. That's basically it. Content is about as varied as any other youtuber.

ALRIGHT, WHO WE GOT?: Hololive's split into OG Tokino Sora, the girls alongside her who are also primarily 3d, and then 'generations'. Just plug in their names and you'll find their channel easy. Again, variety differs between all the girls, but expect a lot of Nintendo games, chat streams, karaoke, and Minecraft across the board.

-Tokino Sora OG mom slash idol, debuted all the way back in 2017. Probably the only proper idol in all of Hololive. Warm, friendly, relaxing. She mostly does 3d variety streams and song debuts so she's hard to follow without advanced japanese.

-Roboco(-san) Pose happy killer robo with a notably smokey voice and calming demeanor. Plays a large amount of minecraft and first-person games in general; recent streams include ARK, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon remaster, Apex, and Fortnite.

-Sakura Miko ELIIIITE MLG miko idol with a tendency to swear a bit. High energy, fully embraced 'press f', gives herself sunglasses during streams, great friends with Pekora. Also notably into eroge. Did a full playthrough of Papers Please lately and is one of the most addicted to ARK (21 streams at around 4-5 hours each.)

1st Generation -Yozora Mel Sleepy vampire with the occasional killer instinct. Soothing, gentle, kind of lewd. Very much into nintendo games with Smash, Ring Fit, SwoSh, and Mario Kart being her latest content, but she's a little slower with the output. Part of the lewd blonde club with Aki, Haato, and Choco, who were demonetized until recently.

-Aki Rosenthal Cyber elf with detachable twin tails. Pretty similar to Mel in disposition, though less sleepy and more...I want to say 'fantastical'. Recently gained popularity due to her buck naked superhuman beefcake character in ARK, with Kerbal, Go Home, and some ASMR rounding out the rest of her content.

-Natsuiro Matsuri Eternal 17 year old cheerleader from the class next door, Matsuri is a high energy raging lesbian who's also a complete sweetie. Her infamous bandaid clip is what got a lot of western fans into Hololive. Plays a wide variety of games but also twitcasts at random times of the day like when she's in bed or in the bath, just to chat with her viewers about what's on her mind. Well loved.

-Akai Haato The ESL transfer student, girl next door, Haato is, well, exactly that. Commonly traveling for studies, Haato is a bubbly girl with a fine sense for aesthetics; you'll catch her making elaborate builds in Minecraft or playing visual novels during streams, along with a smattering of other games. Notable in that she's the only girl that'll do purely English streams, likely to help with her own education. Also kind of a baka.

2nd Generation -Minato Aqua Disaster masochist maid who's actually stupidly good at video games sometimes. She's both mischievous and hard working, massively popular in China, and, again, stupidly good at games. Soulsborne speedruns, PUBG, ARK (also one of the most addicted), Minecraft (seeing a pattern?), League if you catch her bilibili streams...but she's also the one who will spend a stream calling the other girls and asking them to bully her. Wild card gremlin.

-Murasaki Shion Genius mage who doesn't do a lot with her magic. Pretty well known for her 'neeeeeee', with a distinctly smug avatar/voice. Pretty good at games too, with a variety of Pokemon, retro games, Minecraft, Smash, horror, Mario Kart, etc. Excellent singing voice too, would recommend her covers.

-Yuzuki Choco The totally-not-a-succubus demon nurse at your highschool, Choco embodies :sweating:. Obviously she's lewd, but there's also a silly and petulant side to her that's fun to watch too. ASMR is her specialty. She's also, surprisingly, really into Dead By Daylight, so if that combination sounds fun to you hit her up.

-Oozora Subaru If Haato is the girl next door, Subaru's the bro next door. A very down to earth but energetic and sporty tomgirl, she recently spent three streams and sixteen hours on trying to take down Sans. Other recent things include Live A Live, The Witch's House, and GTA. Refreshingly easy to relate to compared to the other girls sometimes.

-Nakiri Ayame Hello, honored humans~ Hololive's millenium old oni. Has a peculiar way of speaking, especially in her pronouns, which lends a certain charm if you can got on board with it; happy go lucky, easy to like, and really cute on top of all that. Recently recovered from sickness (as of 2/26) so was the last to get on the Ark craze, she's actually very fond of multiplayer games as a way of 'getting to know mortals'. Apex Legends, Mario Kart, Splatoon, etc.

GAMERS: A sort of generation on its own, and also a kind of weird designation when all the girls game so frequently. Oh well!

-Shirakami Fubuki Fox. Not a cat. Super cheerful, makes a lot of weird noises that people turn into youtube poops (that she encourages), and also a helluva gamer. Plays plenty of battle royales, ARK, and of course Nintendo/Minecraft stuff. Infamous for her absolute feral hunter instincts in Project Winter, where she commonly massacres the entire map on her lonesome when she's the traitor.

-Ookami Mio Mom wolf who has to play tsukkomi (straightman) to basically all of Hololive sometimes. Which makes it all the more hilarious during her semi-common charisma breaks, like during Haato's recent English Exam stream. Has been into EDF, Pokemon, Ghost Trick, and Splatoon lately.

-Nekomata Okayu The sleepy smug cat with the most chill personality. Notably very, VERY close with Korone, and in general kind of a playboy in general. Never denies it or any of her myriad transgressions though. Her Mother 2 run has been fun recently, but really you could just tune into her frequent chat streams and relax that way.

-Inugami Korone Dog. An oddball who kind of just goes at her own pace, playing all sorts of weird games like Nyanpo (the pokemon prototype) and weird PS1 retro games. Shows a disturbingly violent side sometimes; her ongoing Blasphemous run and recent RE4 runs have shown how much she's into that kind of stuff. But also she's still a dog, so really don't worry.

Inonaka Music: -AZKi AZKi is closely associated with Hololive but is really more of her own thing, being even more idol than Sora is. Doesn't stream much if at all, has her own album out, does music collabs more than anything else, etc. Helluva singer though.

-Hoshimachi Suisei The vtuber idol who's totally not a psychopath, and totally a goddess at tetris. Like Fubuki, made a name for herself with her psychotic rampages in Project Winter, and also very much unfazed by horror games. Really fucking good at tetris too, doing 98v1 streams lately in Tetris 99, and a godly songstress too. Her karaoke streams are to die for.

3rd Generation: Also known as Hololive Fantasy. These girls are particularly close to each other. If you can find translated clips, I definitely recommend their host club streams where they compete in seducing other Vtubers. (Yes. That's serious)

-Usada Pekora AH^HA^HA^. You'd think she was a cute rabbit, but no! It's a Tewi level shitposter combined with some legit video game skills. She likes playing the heel deliberately just for shits and giggles, like when she nearly walked off with Miko's Nether Star. She's in fact very close to Miko, their relationship being both great friends and great rivals. Definitely one of the most addicted to ARK too; she's been making headway in conquering the ocean.

-Shiranui Flare Handsome half-elf archer, Flare's the designated tsukkomi of the third generation. She's definitely the most down to earth of them, charismatic to boot, and does as she pleases with a relaxed personality and husky, smokey voice. Very very VERY close to Noel. You'll find some really fun playthroughs of various action games like Dark Souls, Bayonetta, and Sekiro on her channel, and thanks to her picking up game mechanics fast they're fun to watch for anyone.

-Shirogane Noel Knight Captain of the Shirogane Knights, Noel's...kind of an airhead, actually. But she's definitely a pleasant, softspoken sort of person who's incredibly relaxing to listen to. Also a big eater, you'll hear her talk about beef bowls and muscles a lot. Just try not to stare too much at her 'pectorals.' As mentioned, VERY close to Flare (they just had a two day long date to a ryokan). Plays whatever with no focus in particular.

-Uruha Rushia The cute, soft, innocent apprentice necromancer, Rushia occasionally comes out of the gates roaring with rage filled screams before chilling out. An absolute cutie though, who loves her fans very much (though really every Hololive member does), her attempts to be cool and reliable lend to some great comedy. She's got a great singing voice if you can find one of her bilibili streams, and otherwise plays a wide variety of things.

-Houshou Marine A~hoy~. The completely safe for work, modern, not-cosplay eternal 17 pirate...and everything I just said was a lie. Most of it anyways. Marine's a riot of a lady with an incredibly dirty mind and dirtier motor mouth, great voice acting ability, and knack for art that she'll happily show off (among other things). Definitely one of my favorites, you'll find plenty of chat and art content on her channel, along with some of the most Ark addiction and a full array of Touhou game playthroughs.

4th Generation: Hololive's newest five girls, it's been a month and change since they debuted. They're notable for working together on some of the most wild content Hololive's put out so far, all helmed by a certain dragon. But we'll get to that.

-Tokoyami Towa The little devil that does whatever she wants, Towa's known for a couple of other things at this point: refreshingly honest personality, Pokemon playthroughs with an eclectic choice in team comp, and her charmingly atypical tomboy voice (though her mic's not amazing). Great singer, super funny if you can find the rare translated clip of her, and was an absolute menace at the recent Hololive werewolf/mafia game. How she managed to fake being a Seer from day one and nearly win, I'll never know.

-Tsunomaki Watame Hololive's bouncy sheep. Ram? Something like that. A very girly, friendly, lightly ara-ara personality, she's an honest and open with her feelings sort of girl. Earnest laughter at chat and games, real emotional tears while watching the live concert with her generation mates, Watame's a total sweetheart who streams a bit of music everyday as the pre-show to Coco's Morning Shitposts (official name). She's also gotten very close to her senpais in some regards...but above all she likes singing, chilling out in Minecraft, and recently playing through a couple Kirby games.

-Himemori Luna If you want to see a completely innocent cinnamon roll looking character say things like 'ass' and 'don't f*cking take crystal m*th', Luna's your gal. Her high pitched, almost childlike voice takes a bit of getting used to but she's a sweetheart that just has fun no matter what she's doing. But she'll also say a bunch of really funny shit while doing it just from sheer juxtaposition of her voice/appearance and the vocabulary. Surprisingly good at video games too.

-Amane Kanata PP Tenshi. Perfect Pitch, Powerpoint...Kanata's a bit of a sheltered honor student sort of girl who has an incredible vocal range, so much you'd be forgiven for thinking she was a professional voice actor or singer. She loves playing along with jokes even if she doesn't get them some times, and is really close with Coco. If not for said dragon she'd be the biggest memelord in the 4th generation, but alas; her channel has lots of collabs with fellow members and a series of cute 'research' videos on the various generations of Hololive. Unfortunately untranslated though.

-Kiryuu Coco The one, the only, the President of Nishinari herself, Coco has been a force of nature since she debuted. Her vulgar sense of humor, rapid fire jokester nature, fluent English speaking, and complete conversion of Hololive to the wonders of dinosaur taming in Ark has made her one of the most subscribed girls in a matter of weeks. Every day at 6am JST or 1pm PST, she does a quick 20 minute gig called Coco News (officially translated as Coco's Morning Shitpost) where she reports on the various ongoings in Hololive. This ingeniously brings attention to the silly crap everyone's been up to, really fostering a sense of community between the girls you don't see elsewhere, while also being a riot to watch as she roasts everyone for their silliness (with full permission). Other notable memes include her stalwart boycotting of Nintendo Switches, her desire to fund a Hololive house, and her recent Hitman 2 run.

[dotzines]

Artist spotlight: Pau!

Commissions ✿ Ko-fi Twitter ✿ Instagram ✿ DeviantArt ✿ Tumblr

Header source: [X]  

Introduce yourself Hi! My name's Pau, I'm 15 and I like drawing and playing games (generally puzzle, shooter, fighting and even racing games). My main fandoms are Splatoon, Puyo Puyo and Danganronpa. When did you start drawing? Are you a digital or traditional artist? I started drawing in late 2015/early 2016, I started as a traditional artist but I'm now mostly a digital artist Do you use any traditional mediums? If so, which are your favorites? I don't use much, I have a normal notebook which I use as a sketchbook, and some colored pencils, which I use and prefer the most. Oh, and I also clean my drawings with a normal black pen.

Why do you prefer traditional over digital? (or viceversa) I prefer digital over traditional because I have more tools and options to draw on, and its easier to fix something digitally than traditionally. What do you think is the most challenging part about being a traditional/digital artist? About being a digital artist, I think the most challenging parts are when the art program and/or the tablet start acting up and they don't let you draw, also when I start to procrastinate on the internet and forget about the drawing itself lol. What inspires your pieces? They're always inspired by other artists, or by music I listen to.

image source: [X]   Explain your "everyday" drawing process First, I find what to draw by either looking at other people's art or by listening to music, then if I have enough motivation and time, I start the drawing with a rough sketch of what i want the drawing to look like. After that, I sketch on a separate layer with more details such as the clothes and the face, and then I start making the lineart. If I like it enough, I begin to color and shade it and I finish my piece with some more details as a background and some color filters. Do you have an artist you admire (or more than one)?

jellubean (https://www.instagram.com/jellu.bean/): I love her art style and the colors she uses, in fact she's the artist that inspired me to start drawing :) carazure (https://www.instagram.com/carazur.e/) : I like how her art shows a lot of expression and her character designs are really cool (tho she mostly draws danganronpa now) https://twitter.com/koishit_ : Her art is so cute and expressive, and she shades her drawings really well Is there an artwork you are most proud of? Why? https://twitter.com/kaliinijta/status/1123630203421564928 I'm proud of this one, I like how i drew expression and the colors I used.

Do you listen to music (or tv shows/films/anything else) when drawing? I listen to music I have saved on my Spotify, for example "Obsession" by OK Go, "bad guy" by Billie Eilish and "Plastic Beach" by Gorillaz.

image source: [X]   What makes art interesting for you? The fact that I can try new things all the time and meet new people with my drawings makes art interesting for me. What do you do when art block strikes? I tend to redraw some old art pieces, at least as some sketches. What’s the most valuable art advice you’ve ever received?

To never be afraid to try new things.

[totaldramafan-lauri]

I’ve made my decision.

And, part of me is a bit surprised at what I’ve picked! But, honestly, I don’t think my mind is changing. This choice feels right, so....yeah.

I’ve picked Team Order.

Despite Chaos being the more alluring side to me at first, I chose not to immediately pick it. I kept thinking, and I just kept getting more and more reasons to pick Order.

The more obvious things are the color and the sleek aesthetic, but those alone wouldn’t have been enough to sway me. The real reasons behind this are Marina’s reasoning, and....just, Marina herself.

While reading what Off The Hook had to say, I REALLY felt for Marina, and her need to have stability in her life, so she can stay with those she cares about. That really struck a chord with me, and got me thinking about just how much I want that as well. I wouldn’t want a chaotic, unpredictable world. I’d want stability as well. I don’t wanna take the Splatoon world THAT seriously, but now that it’s been brought up, I might as well, right?

“I want to protect the balance I’ve found” also really hits hard when you consider WHERE Marina came from....It makes sense that she’d feel so strongly about this.

The final Splatfest in the first game was Callie vs. Marie, so I thiiiiink it’s safe to say that most people were expecting this one to be Pearl vs. Marina. I know I was. Of course, I’m OK with getting something different, especially considering NO ONE wants Off The Hook to fight each other, but....that theme we never got also ties into my decision.

It’s the last one, so of course I’d want to finish off fighting for my preferred idol. And.....yeah, I prefer Marina to Pearl. I haven’t been OBVIOUS with it, I’ve tried my best to hide it and not act biased, but yeah, that’s the truth. The reason I never came out and said is was because of how the fanbase was when the game first came out, with the staggering majority loving Marina and some outright calling Pearl ugly, and....I didn’t want people to think I agreed with that, because I liked Pearl, too. I still do. Pearl’s cute! But Marina, especially after Octo Expansion, is just the deeper, more relatable character. THAT’S why I like her, not her looks. And one of the things I love the most about the two of them is their bond, so me saying that I like Marina more - and people possibly taking that to mean that I dislike Pearl, and that me playing favorites was contributing to the so-called “waifu war” was something I didn’t wanna really chance.

(Plus, I don’t LOVE Marina SO much that she completely overshadows Pearl to me. My preference for her isn’t nearly as big as it is with Marie over Callie. And speaking of Marie, SHE’S on Team Order! I gotta follow senpai! XD)

So, Team Order is the closest thing to Team Marina we got, and that’s another reason why I picked it. And honestly, what more reason do I need? What reasons would I have if I picked Chaos? “I really really like a lot of chaotic characters in other media?” “I could make a lot of Sonic references?” “The plume is my favorite of the exclusive headgear?” (and even then, I can STILL wear it while on Team Order)

Sorry for rambling, but hey, it’s the last Splatfest of the game. I’m not gonna be able to do this anymore afterward. I wanna make it count, because....I’m gonna miss this....

[mischiefmakingmuses]

Tawagoto’s Gate: The Disappearance of Tokyo Ghetto

[Here is a fanfic I wrote for all you lovely people, I hope you have an enjoy.]

Chapter 1: The Adventures Of Mumu-chan

In a world where darkness and light intertwined heavily and lovingly, never fully separating from each other and always continuing through existence in their dance of love and death, lived a Girl by the name of Mumu, who was secretly the Moon in a previous life. When Link did not manage to save Termina from Majora's Wrath due to being distracted by a Massive Display of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, 2,400 Doughnuts All Shaped and Flavored Like Several Pokémon, Yokai, and Digimon (As Created For "The Great Mons Game War Against Pretentious Pokémon Fans Who Think Pokémon is the Only Mons Game When in Reality the Megami Tensei Series is the Literal Ur Example of All Mons Games"), all of Termina was banished to The Shadow Realm, but in the middle of The World of Light, and it was here that the Moon took her new form as Mumu-chan.

By Day she was a regular Schoolgirl, and By Night she became The World's Greatest Magical Girl. She was The Only One who could save the town's cats from falling prey to the Evil Tree Organization, who would often capture the poor cats and trap them up on high branches from which they could not leap down from. Every other night, she was visited by her Good Friend Tuxedo Mask...a month ago, Tuxedo Mask had begun to help out a Man from town named Mike Dawson, who was trying to find out what happened to his Totally Not Girlfriend, Rita Scanlon. Even one day, Mike Dawson interrogated Tuxedo Mask.

"Tuxedo Mask, what was YOUR relationship with Rita," asked Mike Dawson.

"My work here is done," Tuxedo Mask declared before being beamed up by his spaceship and transforming into A Whole Chicken In A Can.

It was when Things were beginning to fall apart. At One Point, Mumu-chan saw Nobita and Doraemon at a candy store!!! And she saw Kitaro and Nezumi-Otoko getting ramen at a ramen stall!!! What was going on?!

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

In this hard boiled world there is only one hard boiled detective named Gummie, who was a octopus bat alien thing given form on Jack Box's Drawful 2 one day when the Author wanted to be cute in a Twitch stream they frequented.

With a Large Pretzel Stick in their mouth, Gummie looked over the case files while her dear friend Star Sheep sat in the corner playing Splatoon 2 For The Nintendo Switch™, for the Salmonids were something Star Sheep became really obsessed with because they were Funny Fish and Very Interesting.

"Do you think this is a homicide case?" Gummie asked Star Sheep, pulling the Pretzel Stick out of his mouth and acting as if it were a cigar.

"Sorry, I'm Splet," Star Sheep replied.

"Hmm. That's true," Gummie mused, lifting up her hat to look outside the window. It was a Marvelous Night, but they had not been making much headway on the case so far. Perhaps it was time to get Reinforcements involved. "We don't even have a sus cuz the sec with a mo's got a perf al."

"Eko, You Don't Drink," Star Sheep commented wisely from the corner.

"Shut up, Maya, we're getting burgers," Gummie proclaimed loudly as he put the Pretzel Stick back in their mouth.

Chapter 3: Help Me Dr. Cox

The Next Day Gummie and Star Sheep left to find Reinforcements, first coming by Richard AKA Dr. Dick AKA Dr. Cox because the Author Wanted To Be Meta and The Real Dr. Dick knew Everything that they had planned for the week that had passed.

In front of a Dollar Tree, Gummie and Star Sheep awaited for Richard to show up, playing a bootleg version of Where In Time Is Carmen Sandiego? For The Nintendo Switch™ which landed on their doorstep one day. The reality of the situation was that the game functioned almost entirely like the PC version except that The Baron wasn't called Baron Grinnit, but Baron Wasteland Because I Think That Makes More Sense.

"When my mom and I played this game, we really liked Ivan Idea," Gummie admitted.

"How are we even doing this?" Star Sheep asked, without the monotone tone that this fanfic is read in as it's being written Because It's Ironic. It was then that Gummie squinted their eyes at the screen, only for the screen to melt away and turn into The World Ends With You: Final Remix.

"Oh hey, look, it's Neku," Gummie murmured happily. "Y'know, I really love Neku?"

"Yeah, I know," Star Sheep replied. "Comfort character, right?"

"I'm inclined to believe so," Gummie answered as he attempted to play the song Calling which was her favorite song because he first heard it in the DS version in 2012 and it really stuck with them.

It was then that Richard had finally shown up. She looked around with shifty eyes, seeming a bit nervous and unsettled.

"I don't think I'm supposed to be here," Dr. Dick admitted.

"I'm vaguely getting that kind of idea too," Gummie commented. "Anyway, so I heard from my friends Smile, Urien, Netalina, Gambit, and Jizo that their friends Nobita and Doraemon have gone missing, and have no idea where to go to find them."

"Eko?" Star Sheep began, pulling on Gummie's wing. "I'm sorry, but...how do you know about the Yokai?"

Both Richard and Gummie looked at Star Sheep wide eyed, in Gummie's case you couldn't tell very well because they always made it a point to never reveal their eyes.

"Shit. Shit. SHIT. I don't know what's going on." Gummie grabbed the sides of his head in confusion, narrowing their eyes at the ground. "Something's extremely wrong here."

It was then that Kaite20 had suddenly shown up. Yes, her name is actually Kaite20 because she feels the need to constantly append the "20" to her name even when just "Kaite" would suffice.

"Hey, you guys, I found a portal somewhere and it kind of looks like one you might see in Puyo Puyo Puyo Puyo Puyo Puyo Land. Is that...supposed to be normal?"

Gummie stared at Kaite in shock.

"Like hell it is," they responded. "Guys, we're going to the portal. Don't be surprised if we end up having Adventures in Bootleg again."

Chapter 4: Peter Was Not Available So Phoebe And Plumule Are Here

Through the portal, they had reached the home of Mumu-chan, in a place between the Shadow Realm and the World of Light. It wasn't QUITE time to play Lifelight, though.

"This feels more like how in ChalkZone, half of the world was day and half of the world was night," Star Sheep commented. And she was right, as the town was split entirely between night day, right down the middle.

"...this is cool but complicated," stated Dr. Cox.

"Focus guys, I'm inclined to believe that Nobita and Doraemon are here somewhere. I dunno how the FUCK they ended up here, but I imagine that they HAVE to be here," Gummie commented.

"Do you think it's because of...HIM?" Kaite asked.

"Absolutely not, because if anything makes sense in this goddamn world we're trapped in, it's that They Above wouldn't fucking put him in this story. Then again, I have no idea who else it could be."

"You're getting KINDA too meta, now," said Richard. "Sounds like a fanfic."

"It IS a fanfic, Dr. Dick," Gummie responded. "So that means that we'll probably meet the Kitaro Family and Ittan-Momen will be really suave and shit despite not being a major character. Also we now have an autistic girl and her baby bird monster friend on the team because They Above asked a certain someone if they wanted some influence on the story."

"Actually, he's more or less my tulpa." And there was Phoebe, with Plumule right next to her. The tiny bird monster chirped in an affirmative manner.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. It's tulpas all the way down. ANYWAY, you guys, we need to find Nobita and Doraemon. The first step is finding Ittan-Momen flying around because like Hell he won't be here."

As if on cue, a dashing white cloth with beautiful blue eyes flew through the area and down the street.

"Fuckin' typical; OK, let's go." Gummie spread their arms...wings and took to the air, trying his best to keep up with the white cloth. Naturally, being part of the Kitaro Family and being Objectively The Best Kitaro Character In The Universe, at least according to the Author, Ittan-Momen was very fast and hard to keep up with. "Hey, sir, would you mind slowing down? I'll buy you some sweet potato sake if you do."

"Huh, what? Are ya talkin' to me?" Ittan-Momen flipped over in the air to look at Gummie, who wasn't keeping up very well. The cloth stopped and allowed the alien to catch up to him. "Do ya need me for somethin'?"

"First of all, very honored to meet you. Congrats on actually making it into a written work made by my Ghost Writer! They really like your voice and manner of speaking...down to the subtitles that Crunchyroll gives you."

"...Huh...? What...? I don't really understand," Ittan-Momen said. He was blushing though. "Anyway, what do ya need me for?"

"Gonna take a wild guess and say your friend Kitaro is somewhere in the area! Have either of you happened to see a boy in glasses, yellow shirt, black hair, kinda looks like a loser? Or his robot cat friend, no ears, bright smile, red collar with a bell, white belly, a pocket on said belly? I'm inclined to believe that we have a trickster afoot and that those two have been taken here for some reason...as well as you and Kitaro."

"Err..." Ittan-Momen tilted his head slightly to the side. "Yeah, I think so. I'm still not sure I really understand, though..."

"Don't worry about it!" Gummie piped up. "Just let my friends catch up with us and then you can take us to Kitaro, alright?"

"Cotton shochi!"

Chapter 5: When You're Too Afraid To Wake Up

At Ittan-Momen's introduction, the group found Nobita and Doraemon, who were actually having a conversation with GeGeGe no Kitaro himself. While presenting himself politely, it seemed like a lot of the futuristic aspects of Doraemon's existence had confused Kitaro quite a bit. He was just getting used to the fact that people had Smartphones, what was this about a 4th Dimensional Gadget Pocket...?

"Really glad to meet you, Kitaro! Yes, They Above is right, you are definitely Badass Adorable," Gummie gushed.

"Um...thank you," Kitaro replied quietly. "Ittan-Momen, who are...your friends?"

"Don't know. The purple one asked me to bring them to you."

"Sorry, Eko, I'm kindof tuning out here, hahaha. Everything I know about these guys is just what you've told me before..." Star Sheep laughed nervously.

"Trust me, if this got any more out of control, then fucking Ashens would've been mentioned. By the way, he gave the whole chicken in a can a negative review because it just looked like a melted chicken carcass.

"Anyway, Nobita, we've finally found you--and GeGeGe no Kitaro, to boot--at Urien and friends' request, so I'd consider this case closed..." Gummie adjusted her glasses. "...except that someone obviously was behind everyone's displacement, including ours and Kitaro's. So that means the case is still open...until we find the culprit!"

"I thought it was just Ekoro," Nobita replied.

"Ekoro?" Kitaro asked.

"Who's Ekoro?" Richard asked as well, despite the fact that The Real Dr. Dick knew very well who Ekoro was.

"I don't know any Ekoro," Phoebe replied bluntly. Plumule cheeped in agreement.

"I thought you said it couldn't be Ekoro," Kaite responded.

"I did," Gummie said. "So that means that it's someone we don't actually know. Kitaro, do you sense youkai activity?"

"Yes," Kitaro replied without skipping a beat. Gummie's sight wandered to the top of his head, where his ahoge was pointing straight up.

"Well, golly gee, that was fucking easy. Which Youkai of the Week do you think could've possibly done this?"

"I don't know," Kitaro responded. "It's not any youkai I've ever encountered."

"But they're a youkai? And they're close?"

"Yes."

"I wouldn't consider myself a youkai, per say..." came a voice. Everyone looked around, but to no avail. Suddenly, the world fell apart. The group panicked for a second, until the voice came back. "Give it a moment, I'll send you all back home in a second!"

They tried to focus on the source of the voice. It was coming from a definitive direction, but it still seemed like no one was there...

"I'm right here," came the voice again. Everyone looked downwards. In the middle of the group was...something. Almost exclusively what could be made out was a white mask with three heart-shaped holes in it and two horns. The rest of...whatever it was...was completely transparent. Its shaped was also inconceivable, almost as it was hardly there at all.

"The fuck are you, a Phanto?" Gummie asked in a sassy tone.

"Not...really. I'm not a youkai, either. Or a demon. Or really anything...I guess that means I'm...nothing?" It seemed to put a hand over where its chin would be. "It's kind of hard to be here, sorry."

"O...kay...so why did you bring everyone here?"

"Oh! I just wanted to have some fun and let you all construct a silly story in a world of my creation! I hope you enjoyed it! Happy April Fools'!" Nobody seemed impressed. "Aw, c'mon, I can't imagine it was that bad? I understand that all of you enjoy ridiculous humor like this! Not counting Kitaro and friends, of course, because they don't really represent anyone in The Other World, but surely the rest of you found parts of it funny!"

"I'm sorry, who are you?" Dr. Dick asked.

"I don't really know! I would say I'm Nanashi but Kitaro and Ittan-Momen would get mad. But similarly to him, I have no name. No one's given me one, and I might never have one."

"Oh, I know you," Gummie responded, "you're the one They Above have been struggling with for a while; they call you Not Melon."

"Ah, but that's not actually my name. Similarly to how they've called other characters in progress 'Not Ekoro' and the like. I don't have a name yet. But, I do have a birthday! It's today! April 1st is my birthday!"

"I'm inclined to believe that's bullshit because your concept has been floating around for more than a fucking week," Gummie grumbled.

"Well, they didn't make Smile on May 18th, and yet that's his birthday, right? And Urien was conceived sometime in November or December, but his birthday is somewhere in June or July, but it's still not decided because they want a date that would perfectly reflect Urien's personality similar to how it seemed to happen with Smile, right?"

"Wait, Urien's birthday is in June or July?" Nobita asked. "It would've been great to know that last year!"

"Yeah, but the date's still up in the air. Plus, that plot thread was going to be explored with Ekoro, with Star Sheep's Ghost Writer taking the role of Ringo so she and They Above could roleplay some fluffy EkoRin stuff. And then they decided that they didn't want to do anymore, and ran out of time anyway."

"...I think that's beyond even my understanding, Mister...err...what did you say your name was again?" Doraemon asked, tilting his head.

"Ah, well...firstly, I'm not a mister...and secondly...I don't have one. However, my birthday being today was inspired by Subeta's Elwood's birthday being today, and that Elwood's Pizza is in between time and space, kinda like me! Ultimately They Above decided they actually wanted to go down this route for me!"

"...OK." Both Nobita and Doraemon had given up at this point.

"Actually!" they piped up, clapping their hands together...or something? They were so intangible it wasn't really clear. "They Above decided to plan all this out as a way to introduce me, even though I kind of don't fully exist yet! That's part of the reason why you can't really tell what I look like...the only thing confirmed is my mask, you see?

"Anyway, that means that you, I, and the Yokai might all meet up sometime soon, in another universe! Exciting right? I'm really looking forward to it!"

"Did you understand any of that, Kitaro-san?" Ittan-Momen asked.

"No," Kitaro answered bluntly.

"It's OK, you aren't really involved. They Above are just such a huge fan of you guys that they wanted to include you. Anyway...as much as I'd love to stay and chat with you all, it's time for you guys to go back, and for this story to come to a close.

"It was really nice meeting you all! Especially because...I don't really have any friends yet! But, again, I hope you all enjoyed your time here, and I'm looking forward to meeting you all again! I'm not sure when or where, but it'll definitely happen!"

And all will fade to black.

Chapter 6: Home At Last

Gummie awoke with a start. Apparently they had fallen asleep on their desk. Star Sheep was in the corner, playing Splatoon 2 For The Nintendo Switch™.

"Star Sheep, what the hell happened last night?"

"I'm not really sure, but I had a really crazy dream where we went to solve a case...something about two people going missing? And then Kitaro was there?"

"Kitaro? You mean like GeGeGe no Kitaro Kitaro?"

"Yeah. Also there was that guy, there was that guy you like."

"Ittan-Momen?"

"Yeah."

"Fuck yes. I had the same dream too. Ittan-Momen was fucking incredible." Star Sheep turned to her friend's general direction and gave him a warm smile.

"Glad you liked it."

At the end of the day, much fun was had...and also Nezumi-Otoko Is Still Underground.

Thank you to @astarrymusenight, @jellipuddi, @robocatandboy, @timeandspaceandmagic, and my Twitter friend Peter Puzzling for letting me use your characters/personas!

[sage-nebula]

TWEWY: Final Remix - Thoughts

So, I’ve more or less beaten Final Remix now. I’ve beaten the main story, as well as “A New Day”, and while I still have to play through “Another Day” and get the Secret Reports, I think now is as good a time as any to type up my thoughts.

Since the original story is ten years old and I’ve played it dozens of times, I won’t be discussing the plot of that too much. However, I will discuss “A New Day,” so I’m going to put the rest of this under a cut as well as spoiler tag it just so that no one ends up seeing anything they don’t want to see.

To begin with, Final Remix as a whole.

First, I do think that there are some legitimate criticisms as far as the gameplay goes, and those criticisms stem from the fact that SE clearly ported over the iOS controls instead of building from the ground up to make something that would work with the Switch. While I understand that the Switch doesn’t have dual screen capability, that doesn’t mean they couldn’t have implemented the JoyCons in small ways when playing in handheld mode (such as using buttons for the Tin Pin Slammer whammies), or that they couldn’t have found a better way to utilize Neku’s partners rather than treating them as pins. The motion controls when playing in docked mode can be a bit wonky as well, and in particular I personally found Joshua nigh unplayable in that mode. Moreover, there are certain areas where the gameplay is not intuitive at all, where a bit more assistance would have been helpful. Namely, the giant bat boss in Week 1, Day 3 was changed to compensate for the fact that there aren’t two screens, but you are not told what you need to do to launch Shiki to the top screen, so you’re screwed if you don’t figure it out on your own. Likewise, Tigris Cantus was changed to compensate for the lack of two screens, but you’re not told that you have to stand in her shadow to allow your partner to attack her directly during the third phase. These two bosses caused me way more frustration than necessary as a result.

All of that said, though, I do think that a lot of the freaking out I’ve seen about the controls is a bit of an overreaction. The reliance SE had on Solo Remix was a detriment to Final Remix, to be sure, but the controls just take some getting used to. This can be difficult for seasoned TWEWY players such as myself, but with a little bit of practice it’s not that bad (particularly in handheld mode). Even when it comes to Tin Pin---yes, it sucks that you can’t use the buttons for the whammies, but if you know that ahead of time you can train yourself to quickly tap the whammies. Takes some practice, but the original Tin Pin Slammer did as well. You just have to retrain yourself.

Moving on from that, I do think that the majority of the remixes were absolutely fantastic. However, there were some . . . bugs? . . . with the music in certain areas. Such as: When you first meet Shiki, “Deja Vu” starts playing, taking over “Despair”, which rather ruins the mood of the moment considering Neku is still panicking about the Noise that were attacking him. That wasn’t the only place where there was some musical dissonance, but it’s one of the first ones I remember off the top of my head, particularly because it was so jarring I looked up a video of the original DS version of that moment to see if I was right in remembering that it was off (and I was). I’m not exactly sure why SE screwed with the music like that, but I wish they hadn’t. The remixes are great, but we didn’t need which track plays where screwed to that degree. (Though that said, for those who don’t like the remixes, you can switch back to the DS OST at any time in the settings menu. I’m not sure if that fixes the musical dissonance that sometimes occurs or not, but that’s an option. So there’s no real excuse to have “I hate the remixes” as a reason for hating the game when . . . you can disable them.)

Overall, while there are a few minor things here or there that could have been better, I don’t think that any of this is a reason to discourage people from buying this game, particularly when it has been said this is our last shot at a sequel. These are all petty, minor inconveniences---they’re not enough to ruin the experience, in my opinion, particularly for a brand new fan who won’t be blinded or have their opinion marred by nostalgia.

All of that said . . . “A New Day”. Oh boy. 

I think the biggest weakness of “A New Day” is that it was too short, and left way too many things unanswered. This is obviously to leave room for the sequel (which we now have a reason for; there was no room for a sequel before, but now there definitely is), but at the same time it’s also a little frustrating, especially considering the very good chance that we won’t get a sequel due to it not selling well enough in Japan (which is Nintendo’s own fault, by the by, because I was actually in Shibuya this past August and I saw no advertising for it anywhere---literally, I passed by Tower Records and I heard Splatoon 2 music playing, but I didn’t hear a single note of TWEWY music, wth), and people in the western fandom telling curious people to buy the DS original or iOS ports instead. The idea that we might not get any answers to any of the questions raised (and that Neku might just stay dead forever, I guess) is really frustrating to me, but I guess in Nomura’s defense he couldn’t have planned for that, so. It is what it is.

Nonetheless, there are a lot of questions raised. Why was Shinjuku erased? Is it erased for good? How is that affecting Shinjuku in the RG? How are Noise appearing in the RG in the first place? (I actually wrote a fic where that happened once, though I only got about two chapters in with it.) I can say that I’m not at all surprised that Coco is actually a Shinjuku Reaper. I always felt that she didn’t really fit with Shibuya at all, ever since the iOS port first came out and I first saw her. She just doesn’t look like a Shibuya Reaper, you know? But she does look very Shinjuku. I can’t really explain it, but the fashion and vibe in Shibuya is just different from Shinjuku, particularly since Shinjuku (contrary to what is said in TWEWY) is actually the high class fashion center of Tokyo. Like, Shibuya is filled with teenagers and all that, but Shinjuku is where you go if you want expensive fashion. So while I’m not saying that Coco’s outfit looks very expensive, I am saying that the fact that her fashion is so different from what we see in Shibuya in TWEWY definitely makes the fact that she originates from Shinjuku make so much more sense. I’m really glad that was clarified in “A New Day”. But that said, that doesn’t explain how she got to Shibuya’s UG to begin with (particularly since I thought that Reapers couldn’t travel between the different UGs), nor does it explain how she can summon a Noise big enough to swallow a city, or create illusions like she did, or use the Taboo Noise refinery to revive Minamimoto . . . there are too many questions here. Way too many questions, and we don’t have answers for any of them.

That said, although I do feel that it was too short, and though I feel that scrambling the map was done less because it made sense for Coco to do that, and more because they wanted to create some artificial length (because if you don’t know how to get to each location, you’re going to spend way more time randomly running around than you otherwise would), I did still enjoy it. The highlights for me were:

Seeing development in Neku’s relationships: Right off the bat, Beat was ready to form a pact with Neku again, and Neku was ready to do the same with Beat. They didn’t even question it, despite how they (understandably) questioned everything else. Not only that, but Beat screamed and reached for Neku when Neku was shot again right in front of him, and I can only imagine how devastated Beat must be right about now. If he didn’t need some therapy after the Game (and he did---they all did), he definitely needs some after seeing his best friend be murdered right in front of him. Then there’s Neku’s relationship with Shiki. One of my favorite parts is when he saw her in Eri’s body again, and his immediate reaction was, “No, that’s not Shiki. That’s not what she really looks like.” I made a post about it before, but one of the best things about Neku’s relationship with Shiki---one of the things that makes it amazing---is the fact that Neku doesn’t truly warm up to her until she drops the Eri act and starts acting like herself. Neku was never impressed by Eri’s looks, and he certainly isn’t impressed by her bubbly attitude; if anything, that annoys him. But Neku cherishes and loves (whether you see it as platonic or romantic) the real Shiki. And so the disappointment he showed when he saw her in Eri’s body---the fact that he doesn’t want this “fake” Shiki, he wants his Shiki, the real Shiki---was extremely heartwarming. I also loved how casually he agreed to go with her to pick up some thread to repair Mr Mew at the end. You know that’s an errand that has nothing at all to do with him, but he just wants to spend some time with her. That’s really cute. ♥ We didn’t get to see very much of it, but I liked what we saw of Neku’s relationship with Joshua as well. I always found it odd (and perhaps a little forced) that Neku said he trusted Joshua at the end of the game. Joshua is someone who repeatedly lied to, used, and murdered Neku. Whatever his reasons for it, Joshua has made it abundantly clear time and again that he will put his own motivations above Neku’s well-being, and he will not feel sorry for it. So while I of course understand Neku not forgiving Josh, I could never understand Neku trusting him despite that lack of forgiveness. If anything, I thought it should be the other way around, that perhaps Neku would forgive him after understanding where he was coming from, but would still not trust him. Either way, I was glad to see in “A New Day” that Neku doesn’t quite trust Joshua as much as he claimed. When he realized that Joshua would likely have some explanation about what was going on, he chased him down. He refused to back down at first, not believing that “Yoshiya” wasn’t playing him. When he had a vision of Joshua potentially shooting him, he thought of that as a very real possibility. All of this points to the fact that it’s less that Neku does trust Joshua, and more that he wants to, and that he’s still feeling pretty conflicted over it. Which, all things considered, is extremely understandable and IC. Finally, Neku’s relationship with Hanekoma has always been one of my favorites, and I was so happy about the little glimpses we witnessed here. I used to write fics where Neku saw Hanekoma as a father-figure (without explicitly saying as much), and where Hanekoma basically adopted him, so I honestly felt like this part of “A New Day” was written for me, haha. The bit where Coco started insisting that Hanekoma was untrustworthy, and Neku turned away from her (as he often does with those who annoy him) and insisted that he trusted Hanekoma more than anyone warmed my heart. Hanekoma, despite Coco’s interference, doing his best to help Neku and get him to WildKat, warmed my heart. And at the very end, where Hanekoma asked “What about Neku?” because he knew Neku’s fate? That, too, warmed my heart. We all know that Hanekoma, at the very least, does hold affection for Neku given the final Secret Report of the original game (“I am glad to have had the chance to meet you”), and I”m glad to see that carried over here as well. Hanekoma is worried about him, and I really want a sequel to see what, exactly, Hanekoma does to help him out of this situation he’s now going to find himself in. (Playing the Game again . . . this time with Pi-Face as his partner . . . RIP, Neku.)

Joshua’s characterization was deliciously on-point. I know that so many people disagree with me on this one, and that’s fine. Everyone can have whatever opinions they want. But from what little we saw of Joshua there at the end, I felt that he was 100% IC---and given how much Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance butchered his characterization, this was so, so refreshing. The thing about Joshua, which I noted above, is that he’s not a sentimental person. He’s a pragmatist. He sees the bigger picture and he puts his own motivations and goals above the well-being of others. Joshua is a person who murdered a teenage boy in cold blood twice, a smile on his face in each time, because he wanted to use said teenage boy as a pawn in a game of life or death. Joshua is a person who was willing to erase an entire town because he felt the citizens weren’t living up to their potential. Joshua is a person who isn’t merciless, and he’s not evil or cruel, but he does believe the ends justify the means and he has little patience for those who would whine about it. He originally chose Neku because Neku was the epitome of everything Joshua hated about Shibuya, the absolute worst person that Joshua could find (that also had suitable Imagination), and though Neku’s development and growth as a person changed Joshua’s mind about erasing Shibuya, that doesn’t mean that he grew attached to Neku on a personal level the same way that Hanekoma did. I know that many people took the Secret Ending of the original game to imply that he was emo about not joining Neku and the others, but I just rewatched it and, honestly, nothing gave me that implication. If anything, it’s vague enough so that you can interpret either way (that he’s either upset about not joining them, or that he feels they’re wasting their time---because after all, Hanekoma says, “Hey, it’s their world. They can decide what to do with it”), but I’ve personally always felt that the “Joshua is a lonely sad boy who just wants to be friends” was more wishful thinking on the part of the fandom versus what we actually see in Joshua’s characterization. Moreover, even if part of Joshua does care about Neku to some degree and wants to be friends with him and others (and again, that’s part of him), he’s still going to value the bigger picture over Neku as an individual. If Neku has to die again to get the job done, so be it. If Neku isn’t necessary for what Joshua has to do and ends up dying as collateral damage, so be it. He might not be exactly happy about it, but ultimately Joshua is here to play the long game, and Neku might not factor into that. In fact, judging by his “I don’t need him anymore” comment at the end of “A New Day” (which makes sense, because since Joshua’s Game with Megumi is no longer running, he has no reason to restrict himself to the RG and thus does not need a proxy to play for him), I’d say Neku doesn’t.  Either way, I was really, really glad to see his proper characterization return. As I said, I felt that he was terribly OoC in KH:DDD, which actually led to me returning the game halfway through because it pissed me off so much, haha. Joshua is one of the most complex, fascinating characters I’ve ever seen in a JRPG, particularly with how he wasn’t swayed and won over by The Power of Friendship™ there at the end, and I was delighted to see that return. All in all, if you really want to know how I view Neku and Joshua’s relationship post-Game, here’s a fic I wrote a few years ago of the two of them interacting, featuring Neku’s lingering trust issues, lingering anger over what Joshua did to him, and Joshua’s lack of patience for what he sees as Neku’s pity party and inability to see the bigger picture. (Oh, and also Joshua teasing Neku and needling him to piss him off on purpose. Irritating Neku will never stop being one of Joshua’s favorite pastimes.) 

Neku’s Imagination giving him additional ESP. Because what were those premonitions if not ESP? Of course, all the Players are espers to some degree, but Neku had the highest Imagination of them all, which is part of why Joshua chose him as his proxy. We been knew about this for ages, but seeing Neku have premonitions of the future---even if they were partially given to him by Hype-chan---was still very cool. Considering that Noise are not appearing in the RG as well (RIP to weebers girl), I wonder if his premonitions will continue in the next game, should we ever get it. Oh, and speaking of---Shiki mentioned having a feeling that something awful was going to happen right after (or before?) she noticed the tear in Mr Mew’s seam. While that’s not as strong of a premonition as what Neku experienced, it’s still extrasensory perception, and I like that she got some of that as well, that it wasn’t just Neku being the most special boy as per usual. Because after all, as I said, they’re all espers to some degree.

The foreshadowing that Coco was controlling everything was also on point. Aside from the fact that she looked so out of place and her insistence on going along with Neku and Beat was odd, the fact that Fake Shiki and Fake Rhyme changed their behavior just so to match with the feedback that Coco got from Neku and Beat was subtle, but juuuust enough for a perceptive player to catch, and I really enjoyed that. (For instance, after Neku mentioned that “Rhyme” was acting awfully distant toward her brother, Fake Rhyme started calling Beat “big bro.” There’s also the fact that Kariya and Uzuki’s personalities were swapped, and that Coco said “isn’t this how they are?” meaning that her information about them was second-hand . . . and another point to the fact that she was the one behind everything. Oh, and the fact that Coco doesn’t know what Shiki really looks like, and thus Fake Shiki looked like Eri . . . and Coco wouldn’t have known Shiki’s true motivation for her entry fee, hence the “I forgot,” and so on.)

All of that said, aspects that I didn’t enjoy (length and cliffhanger aside) as much were . . .

Fridging both Shiki and Rhyme (or, well, their fake selves) was unnecessary. In all honesty, as much as I love Beat and his friendship with Neku, I think that “A New Day” was a wasted opportunity to not have Neku partner with Rhyme. We never got to know what her play style was in the original game, and she’s the only one of Neku’s new friends that he never got to partner with. She’s just as capable of a Player as any of the rest of them (arguably more so given how clever she’s shown to be despite her age), and we barely got to see her personality or characterization in the original game due to how early on she got erased. Although “A New Day” was short, I would have really liked to partner with Rhyme for it, to see how she and Neku interact on their own, and to see what kind of play style she brings to the table. I’ve always headcanoned that she used psychs outright like Neku (i.e. a variety of pins), but I wonder what Nomura always envisioned for her. I would have liked to see that. Aside from which, not only did we already go through Beat’s despair over having Rhyme erased in the main story (which means that going through it again here was a re-tread of what we literally just got done seeing), but I also felt that both his and Neku’s reactions were . . . extremely underwhelming. Beat cried and attacked the shark, but otherwise he got over Rhyme being erased a second time pretty quickly. As for Neku, he goes from shouting, “Don’t you touch her!” at Beat at the end of the third week in the Game when Beat goes to knock out possessed!Shiki to just sort of . . . accepting that Shiki was erased without really caring in “A New Day”. There wasn’t even really any drama about it at all, despite how she was his primary motivation for fighting during weeks two and three. So not only were they erased for the sake of manpain, but they were erased for the sake of manpain that was barely explored, at that, especially since Neku and Beat thought this was real at the time and thus had no real reason to get over it so quickly. (And I mean, I get that Coco had that happen because she didn’t want Neku and Beat to figure out that Shiki and Rhyme weren’t real, which they were pretty close to doing, but still. Doesn’t change the fact that it felt unnecessary for the most part.) And honestly, I’m really not kidding about the wasted opportunity re: Rhyme. I would have loved to have partnered with her. Why we couldn’t have that instead I’ll never understand. (I mean, in-universe I suppose that Coco might have chosen Beat because he is notoriously stupid, but like . . . come on. Let us partner with Rhyme, SE! We’re not asking for a lot, here!!)

The whole bit with “Yoshiya” wasn’t explained and felt out of place. As much as I loved Joshua’s characterization, Yoshiya is another story. The over-the-top stuttering was bad enough, but there’s also no real explanation for why he behaved this way. At first I thought that perhaps this was a time travel plot and that this was how Joshua was before he died and ended up becoming Composer, but not only was that not the case, we have no explanation for why this did happen at all. Why would Coco believe Joshua acted like that? What reason did she have for thinking that? He was so far out of character that, looking back, it’s really jarring. (Still, I’ll take Yoshiya over KH3D “Joshua”, so that should tell you something about how I feel about KH3D.)

We never got a real name for Hype-chan. It’s been all these years and we still have nothing to call her but “Hype-chan,” smfh. But no, really, what’s her name? What’s her story? I want to know and yet I may never find out. This kills the Scrawlers.

All in all I did enjoy it, missed opportunities and raised questions aside, and I really want the sequel. Here’s hoping we manage to squeak enough sales to get it. It would be nice. (Especially since the fact that the sequel would likely be made especially for Switch should mean that the control issues would be smoothed out. One can only hope.)

[hollyplays]

The Roundup: June 2018

Look, I’m as shocked as you are. I had no idea that last month when I set up a recurring feature, I’d actually be able to stick to it. It turns out that once a month is way more feasible for me than once a week (like Bargain Bin or Album of the Week, god rest their souls). Maybe I’ll try for every two weeks with some different features.

           It’s been a really hard few weeks. Not for me necessarily, but for the world at large, shit sucks. Being constantly angry and vigilant is exhausting, but not being angry feels irresponsible. I want to write about the things I love for you all to read, but it all feels so unimportant in the face of this goddamn administration.

           So, to keep both of us balanced, with every entry on the Roundup this month I’ll include One (1) horrifying fact about the world today, and One (1) extremely good fact about the world today. Hope you enjoy.

Hausu: I thought I knew the basic premise of this movie (a realistic fantasy about the atomic bomb) and I was extremely, extremely wrong. Part of me wished someone had told me just how weird and silly and somber this movie was going to be, but I’m honestly glad I didn’t know. I won’t spoil too much of it for you, but suffice to say this is NOT a realistic fantasy in any way. Almost nothing about this movie is realistic. A man gets turned into bananas, for christ’s sake.

Mitch McConnell stole a Supreme Court seat, and it seems unlikely that the Democratic party will attempt to steal Kennedy’s back.

Otters hold hands while they sleep so they don’t drift apart.

Splatoon 2’s Octo Expansion: I loved Splatoon 2’s main story, so I was very much looking forward to this. The entire aesthetic of it is slick and charming as hell- I love the idea of exploring a rundown subway line and uncovering different weird sea creatures, but the actual missions were hit and miss for me. It was a toss-up each mission if you were going to get “inventive level design” or “difficulty for difficulty’s sake”. The 8 Ball levels were absolutely fantastic, and just the right level of challenging, but every single ‘ride the rails’ level was hell. It’s hard to be mad about 80+ levels for 20 bucks, plus a new character model, but I felt like the Splatoon team vastly overestimated the skill level of most of their players. I skipped the majority of the latter half of the expansion, and it feels super frustrating to not be able to play the game I bought.

There are currently state-sponsored concentration camps all throughout the southern U.S.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, a young socialist, just ousted the chair of the Democratic Caucus.

Incredibles 2: The Incredibles is my favorite Disney movie, bar none, so I had pretty high hopes for The Incredibles 2. I’m not sure it reached them, but that has more to do with me than the movie itself. I digress; this movie kicked ass. The animation was gorgeous and beautiful, and the philosophy behind it was a huge step up from the accidentally-objectivist plot of the first one. The focus on Elastigirl was much appreciated this round, and actually seeing Bob struggling with fatherhood was really enjoyable. This is an excellent follow-up to The Incredibles, and one of my favorite Pixar movies to date.

There are currently two living white rhinos, both in captivity.

Science has proven your cat genuinely loves you.

Black Bolt: I really, really loved Saladin Ahmed’s 12 issue Black Bolt run. Christian Ward’s art is as vibrant and beautiful here as it is in ODY-C, and that space-opera feeling serves the Inhumans so, so well. Black Bolt is a really interesting character, and I feel like Ahmed and Ward did him justice. I was a little bummed when the art style switched over during issue 7 and Frazier Irving took over- not because I missed Ward, but because the almost impressionistic style of Irving was really beautiful and fit the story’s shift in setting, but didn’t stick around for the rest of the run. I also thought the ending was a little rushed- I enjoyed it still, but I would have liked a few more issues to pad out Black Bolt and Blinky’s story. I know this is comic books, so it probably continues in some other series, but still.

If Trump gets the second supreme court seat, he can make gay marriage illegal again.

Cows are known to have best friends.

Jabberwocky: I really wanted to like this movie. I love almost every Monty Python production (lookin at you, Meaning of Life), and the concept seemed like a knockout. Unfortunately, the end result is just…boring. There’s very few jokes, and even fewer worth laughing at. I think I only genuinely laughed once, during a scene with a catapult and a murderous religious fanatic. I had really high hopes for Jabberwocky, and it’s hard to imagine more ways it could have been disappointing.

They’re going to keep making Jurassic World movies.

There’s a video of Kermit The Frog singing Talking Heads’ Same As It Ever Was

The Vision: I’ve read Tom King and Gabriel Hernandez’ The Vision three times now, and I never love it less. It’s genuinely imepeccable. It’s one of the only superhero comics I’ve read that feels like literature. It’s about synthezoids and Ultron and Victor Mancha and a bright green dog and it feels like fucking Shakespeare. I love it so, so much, and I keep coming back to it. Also Viv Vision is the greatest character in anything ever and I love her so much.

We’ll never get to see Edgar Wright’s Ant-Man.

By all reviews, Ant Man & The Wasp is a much better movie than Ant Man.

Mamma Mia: This is a cheerful fuckin movie. This is the kind of movie we need right now. Just great acting, silly writing, and ABBA. I’ve been listening to Mamma Mia and Super Trouper on repeat since I saw it. There’s some genuine tearjerker stuff here, naturally, but by and large this movie is fucking saccharine. Can’t recommend it enough.

Children as young as three are being separated at the border and forced to represent themselves at deportation hearings.

Mamma Mia 2 exists, and will be in theaters shortly.

Dr. Strangelove: This is another movie I wanted to like more than I did, but I certainly liked it more than Jabberwocky. I didn’t really appreciate this movie until after I saw it because I didn’t even realize Peter Sellers is 3 different characters! I genuinely had no idea. Dr. Strangelove is interesting mostly because of how it well it balances its cynicism with its laugh-out-loud moments. There are bits in this movie I’m still quoting, and that’s as good an endorsement as any.

Its entirely possible that Roe v. Wade will be overturned.

Modders are hard at work to make Zelda fully playable in Breath of the Wild.

[shyguycity]

GOTY 2017

Hey y’all, it’s time for my third annual game of the year list. I hope it’s not too boring or longwinded. I also hope you don’t go into this expecting reviews of each game; with very few exceptions this list isn’t going to go into deep dives about individual game mechanics or plot beats, and I also don’t bother explaining highly specific video game terms and genres that the lay person isn’t going to be aware of, which is more down to this seeming too long already rather than apathy on my part. Discussion or questions are very welcome! Anyway, before we get into the actual top 11, here’s a couple games that didn’t quite make the cut that deserve to be talked about, as well as some housekeeping as to why some pretty big games aren’t included elsewhere on the list.

Some friends and I are also looking into doing a podcast later on to talk more in-depth about our lists, as well as maybe some other year end awards-y type things for other categories in games. Anyway, here we go.

Games I haven’t gotten to yet: Ruiner, Pyre, Prey, Yakuza 0, Hollow Knight, Hellblade

Don’t @ me I’m sleeping: Resident Evil 7, Persona 5, Mario + Rabbids, PUBG

Special shout outs that didn’t make it to the actual list but are still good, quite good!:

Snipperclips: Cut It Out Together (Switch) - Absolutely everyone that owns a Switch and has someone to play co-op games with should buy Snipperclips, be it significant other, child, sibling or roommate. It’s a game where you each play as two pieces of paper that have to cut each other into different shapes to solve various puzzles, and it’s even way more fun and goofy than that description makes it sound. If I had been able to put more time into this game it probably would’ve made the actual numbered list.

Wolfenstein 2: The New Colossus (PS4/Xbox One/PC) - Wolfenstein’s story about an alternate 1960s where Germany won World War 2 and occupy America was so absolutely fucking bonkers and fun while at the same time bleakly sad and interesting. It’s a shame the actual game isn’t very fun to play, but this absolutely deserves mentioning somewhere. Get fucked Nazis.

Horizon: Zero Dawn (PS4) - Horizon has maybe the most interesting and well told story in any big budget, non-indie game I’ve ever played. It’s also maybe the best looking game I’ve ever seen, especially running in 4k. It’s a shame it released so close to Zelda and Nier, since I feel it’s going to be overlooked in a lot of other GOTY lists, but it’s absolutely worth playing. Also the main character, Alloy, is really fun and tells weird kings to fuck off when they try and hit on her.

Aaaaaaaand here’s the actual list this year:

11. Night in the Woods (PS4/PC) - More games should address mental health. I think the medium is especially suited for not only discussion of the matter, but potentially as a teaching tool as well. It’s especially neat in Night in the Woods because of its slice of life, shitty rustbelt town in fall atmosphere. The main character, Mae, is an unexplained college dropout that returns to her hometown to hang out with friends, and discovers that they’ve all started making progress towards various goals in life while she has largely languished. It’s a very personal and sweet story about reconnecting with your roots and rebuilding connections with loved ones, all while surreal shit is going on in the background and it’s always kind of unclear what Mae is actually suffering from.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that, much like Life is Strange (PS4/Xbox One/PC) before it, what starts off as a very simple and charming slice of life game eventually strays into much bigger, cosmic scale ideas, and it kind of feels out of place. Still, I was never bored or driven to the point of rolling my eyes, and I’ve never played a game with more realistic dialogue between goofy and awkward punk rocker friends. The fact that everyone is an anthropomorphic animal for no reason other than to make it look cuter is a huge boon as well.

10. Shovel Knight: Spectre of Torment (Switch/PS4/Xbox One/Vita/PC/Wii U/3DS/PS3/Xbox 360) - The original Shovel Knight was a very cute, very charming, very ok game. It never blew me away the way it did for other people, despite the fact that it seemed tailor made for me, but it was still pretty dang good. The two expansions, however, have been far more interesting games, and Spectre of Torment in particular is a love letter to the original Mega Man X (SNES), a game which has weirdly never had its formula and feel replicated or expanded upon. Having full freedom to select which order to complete stages, as well as finding hidden doodads within that let you purchase new weapons, really maximizes the replay value. Add to that a completely remixed soundtrack that’s way more fun and melody driven than the original, and you have maybe the best action platformer since Mega Man 9 (Wii/PS3/360).

9. Destiny 2 (PS4/Xbox One/PC) - I think Destiny 2 represents pretty much everything I hate about modern game design - approximately 8,000 unique currencies all with their own uses; different classes and subclasses that in broad strokes don’t feel any different from each other; no real sense of progression aside from seeing a set of numbers arbitrarily rise; needlessly large worlds that aren’t fun to explore; a heavy emphasis on story when the story is complete fucking trash; etc. And yet I still put dozens of hours into the game.

It’s a dumb game and I am a very dumb person. That said, despite the constantly online, shooter focused nature of the video game industry, there really aren’t any other shooters so devoted to cooperative play on a scale larger than team versus modes. I can’t think of a game that’s had more fun co-op in recent memory, and that’s enough to make up for the mediocre pomp and frills surrounding the actual game. Who cares that Destiny is borderline predatory when my friends and I are throwing lightning grenades at shadow emperor space worms?

8. Metroid: Samus Returns (3DS) - At one point in time I’d have considered metroid my favorite game series period, so watching its decline over the past decade has been particularly painful. I wouldn’t say this half remake, half new game is an unmitigated success. But for an outsourced, low budget, sidescrolling entry in 2017, a time in which the indie scene has completely taken over the space metroid used to occupy, Samus Returns is an admirable experiment.

Unlike most, I think making the game more combat focused than any previous metroid is actually a wise move, especially considering the developer pedigree; Mercurysteam, despite any other faults, has proven that they can handle designing engaging combat mechanics. And weirdly, even though the main heroine is a 6 foot tall amazonian space goddess with bird alien power armor and a cannon arm, the series has never had engaging combat encounters before this. The game definitely lacks some of the atmosphere that the series is renowned for, but it’s hard for me to fault the game too much for what it isn’t when what we have is an interesting interpretation of a classic game and a new entry in an amazing series that has been dormant for too long.

7. Sonic Mania (Switch/PS4/Xbox One/PC) - Sonic was never really that good, even the Genesis era games that people hold in such high esteem. I’m actually of the opinion that, prior to Mania, Sonic Colors (Wii) was the best game in the series - the gameplay possibilities added by the wisps felt right at home in a Sonic game, while not feeling like a cheap gimmick. Generally speaking, the original Sonic games feel far too simplistic in terms of the verbs available to you to compete with anything like Mario. And while Mania doesn’t give Sonic any new verbs besides a variation on spin dashing, the level design is so creatively above and beyond anything previously seen in the series that it feels like an entirely different beast. Honestly, chemical plant zone alone has more creativity in its two acts than the entirety of any previous 2D Sonic game, and that’s before it culminates in a freaking Mean Bean Machine battle against Robotnik. I liken Mania the most to Donkey Kong Country Returns (Wii) in its ability to capture everything that the previous entries in the series were known for while still being able to modernize its design.

Despite all of that, the best part of Mania is its unflinching devotion to its aesthetic. It truly looks like a long lost Sega Saturn game. And while the soundtrack isn’t quite as slavish to what came before, I don’t think I’ve had a more dumb grin on my face this year than when I heard the calypso style Green Hill zone remix for the first time. Mania is a celebration of all things Sonic the Hedgehog, which means different things to different people. To me, what the game most loudly celebrates is the untapped potential of a tragically mishandled series. Consider this game  the fulfilment of a promise the series originally made nearly 30 years ago.

6. Splatoon 2 (Switch) - If I’m being completely honest, Splatoon 2 is making it this high on the list almost solely for how fun the new four player cooperative mode, Salmon Run, is. You get stranded in various locations to take on hundreds of slimy zombie-esque salmon while terrifying horror movie music plays and you send out unheard pleas to the universe that you were paired up with players that actually know how to use the charger weapon (Splatoon’s equivalent to a sniper rifle that apparently takes more skill to wield than an actual real world sniper rifle based on my dozens of hours playing).

Salmon Run is fucking incredible. The rest of Splatoon 2 is also really quite fun to play. However: Nintendo is still so stubborn or incompetent or both when it comes to online play that any amount of fun you have with friends outside of Salmon Run is usually punctuated with spikes of rage the likes of which I’ve never experienced.

You can join your friends and play turf war (the standard Splatoon battle mode) pretty effortlessly at any point.

That’s good!

Every single match you play assigns you both to random teams, meaning you’re not always actually playing on the same team as the friend you’re attempting to play with. In fact, I swear there’s some kind of algorithm going in that actually assigns you and your friend to opposing teams more often than not.

That’s bad!

There is a mode where you can play with a dedicated team of two or four people, paired up against other groups of two or four.

That’s good!

It’s actually a ranked mode which is where all the professional Splatoon teams that stream on Twitch for hours everyday hang out, so you’re more than likely going to be facing off against a team of people who are so good at the game they make money off of splatting.

That’s bad!

Every few weeks there are big game-wide events called Splat Fests where each person chooses between two options, and then represents their selection and are paired up against players from the opposing team. These can range from pretty basic, such as cats vs dogs or ketchup vs mayonnaise, to the extremely goofy like Spongebob vs Patrick. Also, the music and backdrops of levels completely change during Splat Fests; all the levels are changed to take place at night, and you’re treated to ‘live performances’ of squid pop music. You even get exclusive in-game t-shirts based on the team you picked.

That’s good!

But your ability to play with friends during Splat Fests is even further restricted, limiting you solely to the aforementioned ranked mode. It’s to the point where it almost feels like Nintendo would just prefer you to play by yourself against strangers in some weird joyless, lonely world, which feels entirely counter to the kinds of games the company makes.

………..can I go play Salmon Run now?

I hope that this entry doesn’t come across as too negative, because despite all my personal frustrations with how Nintendo completely mangles their own online modes, the game is an absolute blast to play. And Salmon Run really is good enough to make up for a lot of these shortcomings! I just hope a Splatoon 3 really changes pretty much everything about the interface surrounding the game; we could really have something absolutely amazing if that were to happen, instead of a really fun game that has to be talked about with asterisks.

5. Steamworld Dig 2 (Switch/PS4/Vita/PC) - In a year that brought us the first new Metroid game in the better part of a decade, I never would have expected the best metroidvania style of game in 2017 to be a sequel to a pretty lowkey indie game that seemingly flew under the radar of the vast majority of both the industry and fans. I played the original and enjoyed it for what it was, but I never would have imagined that a sequel would be hanging so high up a game of the year list. And yet, it’s the best one of these in quite a few years, handily beating out recent darlings of the genre Axiom Verge (which was pretty ok) and Ori and the Blind Forest (which was really great). This mostly comes down to the new abilities you get in Steamworld; they’re not trying to subvert your expectations and knowledge of metroidvanias like a lot of recent games. Nope, you’re getting a damn grappling hook and jetpack. But these are the most satisfying and friendly grappling hook and jetpack mechanics in video games in a very long time. The game just has a very friendly vibe in general, from it’s warm, beautiful visuals to its amazing soundtrack. Even its upgrade system is extremely pleasant and forgiving, allowing you to swap out upgrade cogs with no fuss or punishment.

I’m also fully aware that Steamworld doesn’t quite fit into the metroidvania bubble; you’re constantly digging downward as opposed to exploring and re-exploring labyrinthine spaces looking for missile expansions, to the point where it’s almost a sidescrolling dungeon crawler. However, I think calling it a dungeon crawler is doing it a disservice due to certain connotations with that term. All you need to know is that if you’ve already finished Mario and Zelda on your Switch and are wondering what’s next, you can’t do any better than this.

4. Super Mario Odyssey (Switch) - It actually hurts my soul that a brand new 3D Mario game isn’t even in my top three games of the year. Especially since it’s a really good Mario game! Most of that is down to just how stacked 2017 has been, but it’s also down to some disappointments I have with Odyssey. Let’s just get it out of the way - there really isn’t a whole lot of high quality platforming in the game. I went in expecting this from the moment the game was announced as a return to the exploratory style of Super Mario 64 (N64), but even adjusted expectations couldn’t assuage my disappointment in those regards after playing the game for a few hours; Mario is so fun to control in Odyssey, and has such a wide array of moves at the player’s disposal, that my soul aches thinking about a hypothetical version of this game with devious platforming on the levels of Super Mario Sunshine (GameCube). Despite all of that, you can dress Mario up as Don Draper and ride a moped as a t-rex chases you down an alley.

So the level design never even begins approaching manic perfection of Super Mario 3D World (Wii U). It’s hard to be too upset about it when you start to realize just how dense with content every single area in Odyssey really is. When you first touch down in each kingdom, you can barely take 10 steps from your ship without stumbling onto a handful of moons. And what the game lacks in regards to its dedicated platforming challenges, it makes up for with the fever dream of creativity that is allowing the player to throw Mario’s cap at dozens of different creatures and possessing them, each with their own unique controls, movement and abilities.

And look. Even though I’m sorta full up on nostalgia for 8 and 16-bit games at this point, I absolutely am ready for nostalgia for Playstation 1 and Nintendo 64 games, which Odyssey is hopefully kicking off here. I was six-years-old when I played Mario 64 for the first time, and as hyperbolic (and maybe sad) as it sounds, I consider clumsily using an analog stick for the first time to try and make Mario climb trees outside of Peach’s castle to be one of the defining moments of my life. Without spoiling anything, there are a couple moments in Odyssey that brought me hurtling back to that time in my life that nothing has been able to previously. It’s absolutely worth buying a Switch for just to experience Odyssey, despite my opening volley of complaints. Just feel free to stop well before you find all 880(!) moons if you want to leave with the best possible impression.

3. Nier: Automata (PS4/PC) - Generally I don’t consider myself a particularly intelligent person, at least in the grand scheme of things. But by and large, talking about games, especially the kind I like, is a pretty straightforward affair (“Kirby pilots a mech in this one!” “This is a dual ghost fairy type that dresses itself up like Pikachu to trick humans into loving it. Oh wow.”). With Nier though, I find myself mostly feeling intellectually incapable of talking about its story and themes in any meaningful way beyond that a game has never made me feel the way this one did. And maybe not being tempted to make a fool out of myself by talking about things above my education level is for the best, because I would consider being spoiled on such an amazing game in some idiot’s end of year list to be a true shame.

Nier might look like typical anime goofiness on the surface, what with blindfolded french maid sexy butt android fighting wind up toys with a katana. But the game is fully self aware of every single trope it uses, including all of the questions it asks about existence and humanity. It goes some places and has some things to say, man. The one message I feel comfortable in talking about that the game espouses: being human essentially means being in a community and taking care of one another. This is exemplified in what was, for me, maybe the most stunning moment I’ve ever experienced in a game, and during the end credits no less.

This has been a very hard year to be a human living on planet earth. And though Nier is unflinchingly bleak, the overall message of hope and positivity beneath the surface was something that I personally needed. There has never been anything else like this game, and though there are certainly better playing games in 2017, I don’t know if anything will emotionally stick with me the way Nier has.

2. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Switch/Wii U) - Not since I was a teenager with nigh unlimited free time have I been so enraptured with a video game like I was with Breath of the Wild. I put 60+ hours into the game in the first week it was released; it was like Zelda became my second job, only I was being paid in korok seeds and bloodshot eyes. And I say all of that as a person that considers the Zelda series pretty low on my personal Nintendo franchise totem pole!

What Nintendo was able to do with the open world genre, a type of game they’ve never touched before, is nothing short of remarkable. Most ‘open world’ games are open world only in the sense that there’s a lot of empty space to drive around in to get to an arbitrary objective marker, with no mechanics to give players a way to actually have fun in all of that space. Zelda lives and dies by how the world reacts to everything the player (and enemies) are doing. Sure, there’s simple examples like rolling a boulder down a hill to kill an unsuspecting group of enemies. But getting into a battle with enemies shooting fire arrows at you on a grassy plain, having the hill catch fire, and then escaping after realizing that the wildfire has created warm air that can push you on your paraglider up and out of harm’s way is one of the most amazing moments I’ve ever experienced in a game.

There are definitely issues with the game. For a game with so much time spent in menus, you’d think Nintendo could have come up with a far less cumbersome menu navigation method. And I do very much miss having full length Zelda-styled dungeons (though I do think breaking them up into 120 individual puzzles is a very interesting design decision that totally fulfils its intended goals). It’s easy for me to ignore a few rough edges in a game that made me totally forget what it meant to live life away from a TV screen for an entire week, though.

1. Cuphead: Don’t Deal with the Devil (Xbox One/PC) - I hesitate to call many things, in any medium, “perfect”. And when I do, it’s things like Shaun of the Dead. No, Shaun is not high art in the slightest, but I can’t think of any other movie that so deftly delivers on its intent while making it seem effortless. With the way modern video games are developed, my ideal of perfect (besides being as subjective as it can possibly be) seems nigh unattainable; how is a consumer product that’s touched the hands of hundreds, if not thousands, over the course of years of development supposed to sustain a singular, unified vision across the entire experience? Even the two best games of the past few years, Bloodborne (PS4) and Super Mario Maker (Wii U), really fall flat on their faces in certain regards, albeit in completely different ways. Make no mistake: Cuphead is the perfect video game, as well as the best game in maybe the best year for video games ever.

It’s not just the game’s tireless devotion to the “rubber hose” era of animation. Nor is it just how the game’s biggest video game inspirations, Gunstar Heroes (Sega Genesis) and Punch-Out!! (NES) are in and of themselves two perfect action games. The combining of a long dormant style of art with a (mostly) dormant style of games is genius in a way that makes everyone else seem dumb for not thinking of it first. Cuphead feels like something that came from an alternate timeline where polygonal games never became the norm, but art in games continued to grow and evolve, unlike other contemporary retro-styled affairs. Which isn’t meant to disparage games of that ilk, but rather emphasize how Cuphead somehow manages to succeed as a game that owes a lot to works that came before it, while also not relying on direct references to, and nostalgia for, those inspirations. The references and nostalgia are there of course, but aren’t needed for the game’s accomplishments to be appreciated by just about anyone.

Put all of that aside though, and what you have is a really fucking fun game where you get to shoot anthropomorphic waffles with magic finger guns. And it has cooperative play! In fact, the only bad thing that can be said about Cuphead is that the second playable character, Mugman, is relegated to player 2. Maybe ‘perfect’ was a tad hyperbolic.

[agent-7-at-your-service]

Future Plot: The Price We Pay - Chapter 1 - Denial

(( Agent 7, Pammy (Agent 7.5) and Darla belongs to me

Agent 0 / Jacar belongs to @son-of-joy

Blueshift belongs to @myzzy

Depiction of Marie belongs to @agenttwo

The girl in question belongs to @agenttwo and @myzzy ))

Inkopolis is different to me about 15 years from now. The agency has been slow and my union, The Great Barrier Reef Treaty Organization, has dwindled to a few allies. My enemies have been dormant and my friends have been distant from me. I spent this time with my family and other focuses.

I now own my own part of the city which I called the Alexandria District, and I am using this new district to help with a fear I had. With heroes and agents removing their presences from Inkopolis, I feared that my own generation going away without a new generation to take his place. Then I started befriending the new generation with mixed results.

Despite all that, I thought about the girl of my dreams, Marie Hotaru Cuttlefish. I still held some sense of love somewhere in my soul for her.

It's been awhile since I meet her and I've met her a few times. However, she acted as if she didn't know me. And after all those years of falling in love, I still haven't won her heart. And I think it was my chance to ask her to be together with me. So I decided to let her current address and locate her.

But as I arrived I saw Marie..... then a young girl. I didn't know who this was at the time until I saw her father.

It was Blueshift.

Gatz-Ling Cassius Manor, Calamari County - 5:00 PM

Agent 7 opens the doors to his mother's mansion. He made it all this way from Marie's residence in Inkopolis to here in tears and agony.

Pammy hears his weeping and runs down the stairs. She was one known as Agent 7.5 when she was in Bigfin Splatoon. She was now living in the county to become the heir to the Gatz-Ling Cassius wealth, businesses, and properties. Agent 7 didn't mind, trusting her with managing the family's assets.

Agent 7's mother, Darla, and her favorite lobster butler, Ferdinand, follow afterward. They were also concerned of Agent 7.

Minutes late, Agent 7 is on a fancy couch, covering his face. Pammy was patting her big brother's back, comforting him. Darla did the same; she hasn't seen him this distressed for some time now.

"Miss Cuttlefish is with who now?" Darla is surprised.

Ferdinand walks in with a tray to serve tea and tea cups along with sugar and cream.

"She's with Blueshift..." Agent 7 mumbled.

"The Vigilante from years ago that you said you have a love triangle with?" Pammy knew who Agent 7 is talking about. As for Darla, not so much.

"This is my first time hearing about this other Inkling..." Darla has Agent 7 puts his hand down. Tears can be seen being shed by Agent 7. "Pammy, you know who she's talking about?"

Pammy explained: "Blueshift is some cosmic inkling from outer space when he came to Earth, he attracted Marie when she was Agent 2. Agent 7 as furious that Marie didn't do her job of apprehending him and was more furious when she welcomes him into the Agency. Agent 7 tried to make his moves to assure Marie doesn't end up in Blueshift's arms, but somehow, she always with the Vigilante. You can say that he was also building a relationship towards Blueshift when he tried to keep him away from Marie."

"And now Marie and Blueshift are together with....." Agent 7 soon shook his head. "No... It can't be..... I swear that isn't their daughter..."

"Big brother....." Pammy is kind of scared. "Are you going to be okay?"

Agent 7 didn't answer.

"Jason, dear, I think it's time you move on," Darla suggested, "You've been going after Miss Cuttlefish for so long now. And from what I can tell... I think it's not meant to be."

"...Your right..." Agent 7's tone changed. "If it's okay, I would like to stay here."

"You're always welcome here, my little Gatsby." Darla smiled a little. She pinches his cheek, hoping to cheer him up.

Agent 7 get a smile.

That night, Agent 7 prepared to return to Inkopolis. In the morning, he already left a note to Pammy and Darla before he headed straight to the train station.

He didn't want to believe that baby inkling was the daughter of Marie and Blueshift. He didn't want to imagine it being true. He needed to find proof, but he can't do it alone. Alexandria District owned it's own lab facilities, and he can use one of them for test DNA.

He just needed a sample. He has managed to collect Blueshift's DNA with some help from an octarian scientist, and he already has Marie's DNA and the young inkling's DNA from a clinic.

All Agent 7 needed to do is wait for the test results to come in.

And while he waited in his office, someone came to see him. It was Jacar, but Agent 7 knows him as Agent 0. He got up, surprised that Agent 0 would come visit.

"Agent 0!" Agent 7 addressed.

Agent 0 shook his head. "That's kind of behind me. I have a wife and family now."

"Oh... I see... but you still kept the Agent name?" Agent 7 sat back down.

"Sort of." Jacar walks towards Agent 7's desk. "I was bringing my daughters to the clinic hours ago and I notice you were there."

"Oh really?" Agent 7's heart is racing.

"Then the nurse gave you something..." Jacar folds his arms. "What are you trying to do?"

Agent 7 sighs and comes clean. "Look, just promise me this never leaves this room." He took a deep breath. "I'm trying to figure out if the inkling with Marie and Blueshift is their kid."

"Seriously?" Agent 0 already knows who the young inkling is.

"Look, I didn't want to believe it, if she is their daughter, then there's nothing left for me now." Agent 7 slams a fist on his desk. "Odysseus suffered enough from Poseidon for arrogance, why can't I?"

Agent 0 want to tell it to him straight, but he imagined the outcome if he did so. He shook his head.

"Agent 7, you have to let it go. You need to move on." Agent 0 leans against Agent 7's desk, looking at the office. "I mean if she is their daughter, it doesn't mean you have to take your own life."

"...Okay, so I won't commit suicide, but what can I do if this girl is Marie's Daughter?" Agent 7 leans back in his chair and looked annoyed.

"Just leave it alone, it's not worth trying to get back Marie." Agent 0 shook his head. "And you know better than to just deny them being together."

"Sir, the results are here." Agent 7's secretary walks in and places a file on his desk. She walks away and closes the door behind him.

Agent 0 remained in the room to see Agent 7 look at the results.

Agent 7 grabbed the file and carefully open it. The results weren't what he expected. He dropped the file and got under his desk.

Agent 0 looked over the desk to see Agent 7 curled up and with a shocked look. It was the kind of look that someone would make when their mind breaks from the most unethical torture created by the twisted minds of brainwashers.

Agent 0 knew what the results have told Agent 7. He picks up the file and checks the results; he nods in agreement. The results were clear: Marie and Blueshift are the parents of the girl that Agent 7 saw.

[truetgirl]

Kelly’s Top 10  Video Games of the Decade

I’ve seen a bunch of gifsets going around of people’s favorite games from the last decade. I’ve got no talent for making gifs or many other creative endeavors, but I can write. So I’m making a top 10 with a little blurb summing up what I love about each of the games on the list.

10: Splatoon 2 (2017)

No other games really bring together everything that Splatoon 2 does for me. It gives me a multiplayer experience I actually enjoy, it gives me a pleasant and colorful world to relax in, and it gives me one of my pet loves in gaming: a highly flexible and fun character and outfit customization system. This one isn’t among those that I would say everyone ever should play, but it’s a nice, solid, and downright fun game that I really enjoy. No better way to start the list.

9: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (2011)

I debated for a while whether or not to include this game but after considering how many hours I’ve played it across dozens of characters and two platforms, the fire it lit in me for high fantasy, and the sheer impact it had on me in terms of how I thought about video games? Yeah, yeah it makes the list. It’s not perfect, but it’s more than good enough to make the list. And it’s a bit of a backdoor way to mention my more recent love of Dungeons and Dragons which I might not have gotten into without skyrim awakening my inner high fantasy nerd.

8: XCOM: Enemy Unknown (2012)

This and the next entry form the core of “games/series that made me realize I really like turn based strategy” from this decade. XCOM is wonderfully well designed, phenomenally paced, and a masterclass in the use of organic tension and release through mechanics. The entry carries an honorable mention for XCOM 2, which I’ve put more overall time into, but the original I think is still a superior game on the whole.

7: Civilization VI (2016)

And the other turn based strategy epiphany. Where XCOM is nitty gritty tactical simulation and the strategic questions one faces in a war against an alien threat, Civ is a sprawling representation of the great march of history across hundreds of worlds from the ancient dawn of society to the interconnected world of today. I’m a historian with a thing for turn based strategy. How could I not love it? THis one carries an honorable mention for its predecessor, Civ V, which was my first game in the series. Between the two I have played CIvilization for 1044 hours (roughly a month and a half) over the course of the last 5 years. No other game has ever come near that sheer time investment, and I don’t even really regret it which surprises me.

6: Smite (2014)

And it’s the farthest a multiplayer focused game is gonna get on this list. Smite is a pleasing mixture between the team play and strategic thinking of MOBAs and the raw power fantasy appeal of getting to take hands-on control of gods, monsters, and heroes from real world myths. The game is nicely laid out in such a way that allows pretty much anyone to play on whatever level of personal and/or financial investment suits them. It’s a great way to bond with people too, in my experience.

5: Pokemon Shield (2019)

Take this as being the representative of pretty much the entire series in the 2010s. Ever since Black and White way back at the start of the decade Pokemon has been evolving and modernizing and this game continues a trend of my loving every main series Pokemon game more than the last that began with Black and White 2. I could go into specifics, but it all boils down to: it’s Pokemon but even better than last time. It’s a comfortable and nice place to be and while that might not be enough for everyone, it means something to me.

4: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (2017)

This was my first Zelda game. I went in basically knowing nothing about Zelda games outside of what has come to me through cultural osmosis. And I’m sad, because I don’t think I can ever go play any Zelda game that came before it now. This is the game that made me understand the phrase “nintendo polish.” The game that made me remember what a truly satisfying single player game felt like. The game that made me feel like a kid again in a way no other pretty much ever has outside of plucking at nostalgia. I love this game, and I believe it deserves to go down in history as one of the greats of all time.

3: Fire Emblem: Three Houses (2019)

And now the series that took my new love of turn based strategy and said “ok that, but make it more anime.” This entry is also packing an honorable mention for Fates and Awakening (and to a lesser extent echoes), but Three Houses is the one. It’s bigger, the character interactions and hub world that started their evolution on the 3DS burst into life on the switch like never before with full voice acting and a full hub area to explore and do stuff in, and it strikes this perfect balance of gameplay and narrative focus that the other games had a bit of trouble with by incorporating the exploration into the narrative heavy parts. Combine that with my favorite cast of characters yet and multiple story paths that come together to form one whole and you’ve got yourself a winner.

2: Life is Strange (2015)

It is honestly difficult to overstate the impact Life is Strange had on me. This game starting premiering episodes right before I started questioning and it’s really hard to explain but the overall atmosphere just hit me so hard and yet also comforted me as I started to explore for the first time who I really was. To this day it’s one of those stories that has stuck with me in the bedrock of my soul both on its own merits and on its timing coming into my life. This is one of a select few games I would tell people to play if they wanted to understand me better as a person.

1: Mass Effect 2 (2010)

It barely scrapes into the decade with a release in January of 2010, but here it is. My favorite video game of all time. It’s a dozen character focused dramas, it’s an epic tale of heroic daring, it’s a deeply human (and many other species) experience among the stars, it’s a fist-pumping power fantasy, it’s a story of love and loss and triumph. It’s all of that and more. It is my golden standard of gaming, it is the narrative focused game I have played from start to finish more times than any other and whatever second place is it’s not even close. It is the apotheosis of all the things I love most in games with interactive and character focused drama, fucking sweet superpowers, a grandiose story of a hero’s great deeds, and a hero made all the more compelling by the fact that everything they do they do by choice, your choice. If I had to choose one game to play for the rest of my life, this would be it. I cannot sing its praises loudly enough or for long enough, I really can’t.