#i think someone may have gifted it to me in like 2013

[sunshine-theseus]

Cyclones | Christine Sinclair x Reader

Words: 3k

Summary: cyclones and cancelled flights eventually lead to good things.

Warnings: natural disaster?, fake injury. Let me know if I missed anything

“Are you sure you’re okay?” the voice crackles through my phone speaker, the shotty connection barely giving me time to talk to my best friend.

“I have my candles and torches, the tub and my water bottles are full, everything is inside or tied down. The only devasting loss so far is my leftover curry I had to throw out.” The torrential rain hasn’t let up since it arrived last night, but it isn’t helping the sweltering heat that will only worsen with no power. The second of which I fear I may lose any moment.

“This isn’t my first rodeo Chris, I’ll be okay.”

“But what if this is the one time you aren’t? I can’t spend my retirement vacation without my best friend. I’ll end up mourning you instead.”

“Why the fuck would y-” my phone dies and everything else in my house goes with it. I didn’t realise I had such little charge, but the newly found lack of airflow through my house is my number one issue.

A cyclone hasn’t hit my little coastal town in years, but the universe has conveniently chosen the day I’m supposed to fly out to join Christine, to hit. The Australian heat is wasting no time and as the rain carries on, I lay down on the tiles to find relief. I originally planned to turn my generator on, but eventually decide to keep everything off, it’s been a while since I’ve properly disconnected.

I gather books I’m yet to read, candles and snacks from the cupboard and sit down at my desk. I’m an hour into reading The Iliad when my cat jumps up and starts meowing and pawing at the pictures that are carefully placed on or around my desk. The main focus seems to be the two polaroid images in the same frame, of Christine and I from when we first played each other at the 2003 world cup, and from her retirement match a month ago.

We’d never met before 2003, but both sported the number 12 and thought a jersey swap would be cool. We became close friends rather quickly but only played each other at big tournaments until we both signed for the Portland Thorns in 2013.

I think that’s when I first knew I had a crush on her, but 10 years into a friendship is a rather odd time to confess to your best friend you like them, so I never mentioned it. We’ve both dated multiple people since then, but nothing ever sticks.

Then, 4 years ago, I retired after one too many ACL injuries. At 34 it was probably time for me anyway, and I always knew I’d never play for as long as Christine. After my official retirement, I moved back to Cairns, now a professional sports psychologist. I love being home, but it was missing something, or someone. Within the first month I put up every memento, gift or picture I had that reminds me of Chris, who Scout has also grown to love.

“I miss her too buddy. Maybe she should come visit us so she can see you huh?” I scratch her chin as she leans into my hand affectionately.

I spend the rest of the day and the next, reading and playing around on my violin. The doors and window are all shut to keep the rain from flying in but I’m so desperate to open them to feel some sort of relief from the sauna I’ve created.

It’s around 4pm on the 3rd day that the rain slows, and another few hours until fans begin to spin again and lights flicker on. I scramble for my aircon remote before rushing to plug in my phone, desperate to speak to someone other than my cat.

It takes a few minutes, the battery slowly whirring to life, but I can’t even swipe to put in my password before a rather excessive amount of notification begin to make their way through. There are messages from friends and family asking if I’m safe, others are simple social media notifications, but the majority seem to be made up by a certain, newly retired striker.

13 missed calls

58 messages

I can’t suppress the smile that slides onto my face and the red tint that warms my cheeks as I think about how worried she was. That’s what friends do right? Worry when you might get eaten up by a natural disaster.

And I quickly figure I should call her and let her know I have power again and am in fact not dead. And I do just that.

“YOU’RE OKAY. YOU’RE BACK.” I move the phone aware from my ear as she screams down the line, but I laugh none the less.

“I’m alive, nothing is damaged, the rain has stopped, everything is back in business.”

“I can’t wait to see you. Get your ass on the next plane I swear.”

“I don’t think there’ll be a plane on a route to Canada for at least a few days. The world hates us Sincy.” A groan I’ve grown familiar with sounds over the speaker, and I can picture her falling back dramatically in her chair.

“I promise as soon as I can I’ll be on that flight out of here. Scout will be chilling with my neighbours, and we’ll be chilling on the beach with some gin.”

“Good. First flight out, I expect you on it.”

~~~~~

The first flight route heading to Vancouver turns out to be 4 days after the cyclone passed. So far two of those days have gone and I’m trying to fill my time, Christine seemed to drop off everyone’s radar and that left me with very little to do.

I’m loading up The Sims 4 for the first time in months when a knock rattles against my door. While confused, not expecting anyone or anything, I sneak toward the door, peaking my head around the wall to get a glance of who it could be. That’s when I see a very familiar face, looking around in a stupor.

“Christine?” I stand in the doorway looking quite the mess with a dumbfound look on my face. My hair in a knotty bun, glasses resting crookedly on my nose, shirt 3 sizes too big (perhaps one of Christine’s I stole a few visits ago) and bike shorts. Anything more and I’d be dying from the heat.

“Surprise! No flights were leaving for a while but some were coming in, so I thought why not go to the ultimate vacation destination.” Despite what would be nearly a full 24-hours of travel, she looks rather adorable. Her own hoodie must be a few sizes bigger and her curls rest over her shoulders, a rare sight. Her headphones rest around her neck and her bags are almost toppling over behind her.

I shake off my surprise and start running, jumping into her arms and nearly tackle her to the ground.

“I can’t believe you’re here! What the fuck, oh my god, holy shit. There’s so much to show you, very little to do. I don’t have a spare room. I’ll sleep on the couch, take my room. Oh, let’s get your bags in, you’re probably exhausted.” I squeeze between her and the lattice work that makes the short hallway outside my door and grab her rather large duffle bag and suitcase.

I take them to my bedroom, which thankfully had been tidied up recently, and tuck them neatly in the corner. Her footsteps signal that she’s following me and I quickly wipe my sweaty palms on my shirt before turning toward her.

“It gets super hot so the aircon remote is on the bedside table, or you can open the window, but Scout likes to jump out of it sometimes. Speaking of, she’s here somewhere, you’ll hear her before you see her. Also free-range of like the kitchen and stuff. There’s an ensui-” Christine cuts my rambling off with a tap to the back of my knee with her foot. Said knee buckles and I fall forward, into her arms.

“What the fuck Sincy?”

“You’re rambling.”

“Sorry. It’s just the first time you’ve been here. In my house. In my hometown. Ever.”

“And I’m excited. I’m sorry for springing it on you, I don’t actually have to stay here I can get a hotel.”

“No! No I want you to stay here. It’s just I’m usually the one making the trip, I’m not a very good host.”

“You’ll be fine. I’m down for anything and everything. After a very long nap.”

~~~~~

I waited until a reasonable hour to wake Christine up the next day.

“What the fuck is this? Do you put tar on your toast?”

“You’re telling me, all the times you’ve visited Australia, even during the world cup, you’ve never tried Vegemite? Christine… come on.” I push the plate toward her.

“No. You can’t make me eat that.” She pushes it away.

“Please, just one bite. You’re staying with me you gotta try stuff. You’re on vacation, you’re trying new things.”

“If you even try to bring a shoe with beer near me, I’m hopping on the next flight out.”

“I promise a shoey is completely off limits. That shit is nasty. But I’m going to take you to a cricket game and snorkelling on the reef, and Harley’s Crocodile Farm. The point is I have a list. Now try the ‘mite Chris.” The plate slides back toward her and she hesitantly takes a bite. A pleasantly surprised look flashes across her face.

“I’ll give you the point. This is good.”

“Oh! Mary, Mary Fowler that is, is back  for Christmas. Do you want to have a beach day with her and her family? Play beach cricket and soccer?”

“For sure.”

“Oh make sure to have thongs. Your feet will thank me.”

“If you said that sentence to me 20 years ago, I possibly would have slapped you.” I giggle but make my way to grab togs and pack a beach bag.

When we arrive, the promised burning sand is what greets us, rather than the young Australian who I’ve grown somewhat close with. The sun beams down, in great comparison to the previous week, and I make sure to push more sunscreen into Christine’s hands.

“Dude how do you survive here.” A bead of sweat rolls down the side of her face and I just smile, slip my thongs off and lead the way to try and find the Fowlers.

When we do eventually find them, Christine is desperate to slip into the water, and I set up our towels beside Mary, who watches over her own family’s things as she soaks up the sun.

“In all my years of knowing you, and that is almost all my life, you’ve never been this happy. And you won’t even admit your feelings to the person who makes you this happy. You giggled when you called telling me she surprised you. Giggled Y/n.”

“I- I don’t know what to do Maz. I know I like her; I have for years. I just always figured it’d go away once I moved after retiring and seeing her significantly less but if anything, it’s worse.” I flop back against the towel covered sand and Mary joins me, resting a hand on my arm.

“Maybe you should just confess. I can’t say I know she likes you back, but the chances are high.” I glance toward the water and let a soft smile grace my lips as I watch Christine play with Louise and Ciara. Maybe confessing wouldn’t be such a terrible idea.

~~~~~

A few hours later, the sun is lower in the sky and the water laps at my feet as I retrieve the soccer ball. I throw it back into play and run along the sand. The ball ends up at my feet and I begin the run back to my team’s goal, I’m about to make a pass to Caoimhin when Christine makes a tackle and takes my feet out from underneath me.

I let out a scream and clutch my knee. The sand sticks to my skin as I writhe in pain, and I feel a hand gently touch my shoulder.

“Fuck fuck fuck it hurts.”

“Holy shit I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make a tackle. Oh god we need to call the ambulance.” Christine rolls me onto my back, and I scrunch my eyes in pain. She stands up to grab her phone when I stick my leg out and trip her, making her fall beside me.

“What the fuck!?.” I start to giggle as I watch Christine’s face morph from fear to shock.

“You little shit! You faked it?”

“Uhh yeah, you were playing dirty Sinclair.” I poke her in the side as I stand and offer her a hand. As she stands back up, I remember how much she towers over me and blush.

Not long after, Mary and her family head back home, and before the sun begins to set, I get some fish and chips for Chris and me to share. As I sit back on the sand, the sun begins dipping below the horizon, casting pinks and oranges across the sky. The light shines on Chris and for a moment I forget I’m staring. Her blue eyes are clouded by the golden hues but still as beautiful as they have always been. Her hair is wet from the salty water, curling as it dries.

I only stop when she bumps her shoulder against mine, holding a chip toward me expectantly.

“You’re staring.”

“Sorry.” The now familiar heat spreads over my cheeks as I tuck my knees up to my chest, resting my chin on them.

“What’s running through that pretty little head of yours?” I take a moment to contemplate if I should tell her the truth.

“I… I’ve just missed playing, especially with you. I haven’t felt anything close to how I felt on the pitch, and I was forced out because of a stupid ACL injury. It’s been so long.” She wraps an arm around me and pulls me into her side. My head falls to her shoulder and her’s falls on top of mine.

“You deserved a better ending.” We both reach for the chips, hands grazing against each other. I drop the chip and rest my hand on my lap, palm facing upward. Christine’s fingers trace the lines on my palm before slipping her fingers between mine and interlocking our hands.

Nothing is said as we watch the sun rest behind the water. The sound of waves crashing on the sand nearly lulls me to sleep but Christine slowly slips from beside me and stands up. I follow suit, grabbing the fish and chips and heading to the car.

“I’d say this was a rather successful first day. Wouldn’t you?” I ask as I sit on the edge of the bed, drying off my freshly washed hair.

It’s silent for a moment and I turn to look at the Canadian.

“Chris?” her vacant stare refocuses, and she smiles.

“Absolutely.” I smile back and stand up, about to head out to go to sleep.

“Wait.” I stop at the door and wait for her to continue.

“Do you want to sleep here? I mean you don’t have to if you don’t want. Or we can put like pillows between us or something. Or-” I run and jump onto the bed, rolling onto my side to face Christine.

“Thank you for coming. I’m excited to show you everything I love. Today is only one of many.”

“I’d do anything for you. And I was thinking… what if I made this stay a little more… permanent? Well not permanent maybe just extended. Or permanent if you want. Or neither at all.”

“Yes! Yes, yes absolutely 100% I want that definitely. Please stay.” I only now notice how close together we are. I can feel her breath against my cheek, her leg brushing against my own.

Her fingers brush against my forehead and cheek as she moves a piece of hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear. I inch closer, eyes flickering between her own eyes and her lips.

“Are you going to kiss me or do I have to kiss you.” Her lips ghost mine as she jokes, but I don’t allow myself to overthink it as I close the gap between us.

Her lips are as soft as expected, and sweet. I can feel her smile as she kisses me back and I wind an arm around her waist.

“I’ve wanted to do that for 10 years.” I whisper.

“Do not tell me I wasted 10 years of my life thinking you didn’t like me back.” I let out a rather pathetic laugh and my head falls forward, forehead resting against Christine’s.

“Well now is as good a time as any to make up for all the lost time.”

~~~~~

Our hands swing between us as I lead her down the esplanade. The bright rainbow lights of the ferris wheel that never left, reflect off every surface as we approach. The carriages lurch to a stop and we’re ushered on by the teenager at the counter.

“This is possibly the cheesiest thing you’ve done. If we stop at the top, I will start laughing.”

“No! Stop, it’s going to be cute, okay? And a little cliché.” I knock my foot against her’s as we stare out the window, looking out across the water and the mountains, in awe of the stars that twinkle above us.

As predicted, we come to a stop right at the top, and I smile as Christine starts laughing.

“I’d do anything to make you smile, including cheesy ass shit like this.” I slide across to her and she pulls me into her side.

“I love you.” I kiss each of her cheeks before kissing her lips.

“I’ll love you forever.”

“Is it odd I’m glad you retired? I just don’t know if this would have happened if you did.” She smiles and kisses me on the forehead, and we continue to watch the landscape as we make the decent.

@Y/N_Y/L

@Y/N_Y/L I will love you until the end of time. 20 years of knowing you, 1 year of getting to let you know I love you. Chris, you’ll always be my number 1 @c_sinc12.

[theamazingannie]

Oh I fucking hated that Manifest ending it made absolutely no sense. Rant and spoilers under cut.

Why in hell would they go back to 2013 and undo everything that happened over the last 11 years??? Sure the passengers are forever changed, but what about Olive’s journey? Jared and Drea? All of the other nonpassengers who grew and learned and became something better because of this story? And why them? Zeke survived his death date and he didn’t go back (at least, not until he died the second time). Zeke got to have cool powers and it kinda sucks cuz he was the only one we know who survived his death date so he’s the only one we got to see be affected by it. It would’ve been cool to see what the passengers could do and also how the rest of the world would have reacted. The world HATED the 828ers and instead of getting some resolution with them finding out that the 828ers saved the world, they just all never actually experienced it?

Also, wasn’t something that was a hidden gift in the whole thing that Saanvi’s research had time to develop during those 5 1/2 years? If they go back, then Cal would still be sick and without the research this time. That undos all of that and the connection that that made between Saanvi and the Stones and how fate connected them in so many ways. And they specifically said that they needed time to finish her research and start the trials. He would’ve been dead if he waited. That was a specific point.

Because of the time pause, Olive is now significantly younger than TJ, which the show addresses by making him look at her sadly and then sets him up with Violet. Not only did they steal Olive’s story and growth, they also just completely ruined their relationship that I loved. Plus, they never really gave them a satisfying ending pre-apocalypse. All they did was have Olive say she wanted to fix things so they could have a future together, only for that to now be impossible (unless they meet again in like 10 years when it’s a less weird age gap). This is kind of a smaller reason, but it still bugs me cuz they had such potential to be a great ship and were constantly pushed under a rug, especially there at the end.

And what are they supposed to do now? This is a problem in a lot of time travel/day repeating stories where someone changes seemingly overnight with no explanation except instead of just one person, it’s almost 200. 200 people who know things about the next 11 years, who have been changed beyond recognition, who are now going to change so much stuff in the future that didn’t need to be changed. Yeah, they’re all better people now and will work to do good (allegedly) yadda yadda. What about all the passengers who fell in love with nonpassengers that they now may never meet? Or, like TJ and Olive, can’t be together because of the time jump. Yeah Mick found Zeke and now they can be happily ever after, but what about the nonpassengers who were changed in the years between and now aren’t the same person that the passenger fell in love with? So many of us are shaped by our experiences. What happened to all the other passengers, to their stories? What if the person that they fall in love with’s life is altered because of the choices another passenger makes? What if they move to another state, fall in love with someone else, die??? Another issue tule travel causes is that even the smallest action can domino into something completely different, even just one person let alone TWO HUNDRED. I know that this is probably not something most people think about and they just pay attention to Grace and Zeke being alive and all the happy moments, but it’s not that simple for me and it BUGS ME when writers don’t consider this.

Lastly, on a similar note, how is this any different than it ending with “it was all a dream”??? Like nothing actually changes, none of their callings are set in stone and they’ll have to remember every single thing they did during those 5 1/2 years, things that won’t happen until YEARS later. Ugh I just so hated the way they ended things and it sucks cuz I love this show a lot.

[jmdbjk]

2023 Festa, the 10th Anniversary

I think I can speak for a lot of Army: we are relieved to see an official Festa map!

For new Army:

Festa is the annual celebration that happens on June 13 and celebrates the debut of BTS (June 13, 2013). Festa typically includes a pre-recorded video of the members discussing and answering pre-planned talking points and eating and sometimes drinking. We call it Festa dinner.

I'm sure you've heard that last year's was particularly heartbreaking in that they announced their hiatus to focus on solo projects and their inevitable enlistment to fulfill their military obligation. Festa also includes a lot of other content leading up to the actual anniversary day.

Older Army probably can shed more light on what transpired during previous Festas.

After last year, we really didn't know what to expect this year. But finally, we see they will have a full slate of content for us. The schedule on the map goes from May 31 through June 17.

Also in conjunction with Festa: the city of Seoul will commemorate BTS' 10th Anniversary by holding events throughout the city and lighting up major landmarks within the city with purple lights.

Looking at the Festa schedule "gameboard" it is laid out very similar to a Monopoly game board.

What could the pictorial icons on the spaces mean? 5/31: a ? and an Army flag. I think the flags represent playing pieces. 6/2: Video billboards on buildings? 6/3: Computer, popcorn, mic... Suga/Agust D online concert from Japan? and/or DANCE PRACTICE VIDEOS! 6/4 only has a gift box...6/5 has three-dimensional gift boxes... not sure if any of that will be actual content or just breather days. 6/7: A mic and a guitar... someone is going to sing, or perform or we get a song or ? 6/8: digital photos 6/9: another ? and Army flag. 6/10: Drinking and what looks like a calendar... not sure. 6/11: more digital pictures 6/12: we're getting a song. 6/13: The actual big day... another question mark... but with Seoul Tower on that space as well... hmmm. Also the flag is now a BTS flag. 6/14: more pictures 6/16: a trumpet and a mic... Trumpet makes me thing Taehyung... 6/17: a radio ... a radio show? Fireworks, Seoul Tower... a live broadcast? maybe they will turn the Seoul Tower purple... with fireworks.

I GUESS WE'LL FIND OUT! I CAN'T WAIT!!!

[stormyoceans]

I'm returning the brainrot of ep 6 to your archive. vv brainrot continuation:

a hangover pill vs a hangover carbonarak.

pizza with pink bacon is just no comment. idt Mek was killed with eyes as much as August was killed in the kitchen.

the interlaced hands reminded me of Puen, who asked Talay if he and Mek held hands.

Mork's T-shirt with meaning.

Mork makes Day smile like Talay made Puen smile by making faces.

Day thinking that August forgot his birthday vs Puen in our skyy.

ok, all perfumes belong to puentalay and morkday.

surprise birthday party.

firecrackers, frightening Day and Puen.

why did the departing Mork remind me of Puen leaving, listening to music.

we meet the dawn with hope for a new day and wait for the sunset, because no matter what the day is, there will be something beautiful in the end.

I'm sure I missed a lot of things, but I still can't muster the strength to review ep 6. I had to settle for highlights. also Merry Christmas Monica. may your brainrot not calm down next year.

https://sparklyprettybriiiight.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Twas-the-Night-Before-Christmas-HERO.jpg

im a bit late because of family being around but THIS IS TRULY THE BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT I COULD HAVE EVER ASKED FOR!!!!!!!

thank you so much for taking the time to rewrite the brainrot that went missing, pinkybrain 🥺 even if it may not be as complete as the first one was because the episode was still fresh in your mind, i hope you know i really appreciate this and that it made me really happy!!!!!!!!

and maybe it's because i haven't had the mental fortitude to rewatch it either, but i feel like episode 6 in general doesn't have as many parallels as other ones do, but the few that are in it are very on the nose imho. like the surprise birthday party?????? which was probably the first one for both day and puen?????? puen and mork walking away like poor sad little meow meows because they believe talay and day are gonna be with another man??????

and speaking of puen and mork being poor sad little meow meows....

i call this 'pathetic losers (affectionate) watching the men they love hold hands with someone else'

ALSO I DIDN'T REALIZE THIS UNTIL YOU SAID IT (probably because the italian in me was too busy being horrified) BUT NOT THE DAMN PINK BACON ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ✋😭

AOF NOPPHARNACH CHAIYAHWIMHON IM IN YOUR WALLS

i don't have much to add to what you said tbh (even if im probably missing something too), but i do keep thinking that the puentalay glasshouse kiss and the morkday rooftop kiss are similar

i mean. they obviously have very different emotions and very different intentions behind them so they can't really be compared under this point of view, but the way they're set up????? LIKE AM I BEING EVEN MORE INSANE THAN USUAL OR AM I ONTO SOMETHING PLEASE BE HONEST WITH ME

[yomiurinikei]

yomiuri nikei my beloved may i gently ask for some kakeru propaganda (HCS)

haha wow isn’t it so funny how quickly i get requests done? lol. lolol. hahahahahaha. jasp sent this in like.. yesterday

~*~

•GOD sorry. he’s so mlm coded. i think he like… he kinda considers himself a late bloomer to relationships/thinks there’s just smthn he’s missing?

•i don’t particularly hc him as attracted to girls vs not attracted to girls. like i vibe with whatever!!

•but the way he goes about asking maeda for help with girls  in his ftes 100% feels mlm to me. 

•anyways not sure what possessed me there. i think he spends a lot of his time reading :]

•he definitely needs glasses. iirc a lot of law students wind up needing glasses because of how law textbooks are written

•he’s not the biggest fan of wearing his glasses and is spooked by contacts. so he just ends up wandering around doing stuff while just a liiiittle bit blind

•will wear his glasses when he’s prepping for a case though! that’s. about it

•he wants to be more adventurous with his music tastes/listen to more stuff, but he exclusively knows the songs his parents used to play while he was growing up

•WHICH i do think he knows more like… 60s songs than most people as a result of that, his parents liked 60s music

•thinking about how dra canonically takes place in like. 2013? between 2010 and 2013. hm. not relevant just thought about that

•when he was a kid people thought he was much younger than he was, but now they always think he’s older

•he loves midori a lot but isn’t all too close to her.

•he’s busy with work a lot, she’s sick a lot… he loves to hang out with her when he can, but a lot of their time is just spent kinda “…” “….”

•most of his earliest memories revolve around her though. i think as like.. a toddler he wanted to cling to her a lot/got upset if he wasn’t around her. 

•midori was trying to be adventurous (learn how to crawl) and was NOT impressed with baby-aged kakeru trying to keep her close

•i think loyalty is very important to him… like, if he considers someone a friend, he’ll never give up on them!

•GOD wasn’t he canonically bullied as a kid? i think that’s part of it. he gets attached very easily to people who are kind to him

•and in turn hed do like… anything for people he cares about. quietly stares at ch3

•speaking of i think he’d be vv sympathetic with kinji. that being said he’s gonna p quickly ask why kinji still killed kanata since kinji would’ve fulfilled monokumas requirement by killing him.

•i think part of why he has such a distinctive “lawyer mode” is because. as a lawyer, you can end up defending some people who you Know are guilty of bad things, and i doubt he’d have gained the title of SHSL lawyer if he didn’t get his clients acquitted 

•so… not to project dissociative habits onto everyone and everything, but i do think having a distinctive different mindset for the environment helps him with any feelings of guilt

•anyways i need to stop before i assign another student with “is a system”

•he likes to have a very very precise working environment, when he’s trying to study, or do schoolwork, or prep for a trial

•he likes a precise degree of noise, cares about what sort of noise it is, needs to take breaks for a certain amount of time after working for a set length, etc etc

•kakeru is… yet to determine just *what* it is he likes. but surely there is a optimal studying environment for him. surely…

•anyways. i think he’s one day going to look back on his school years before hpa and realize multiple people were flirting with him 

•ik so many people who would intermittently bully me like hell, and then shower me with gifts for like… years while we were in school. i think kakeru deserves to reflect on his past and realize “….heY-“ as well

•i think he’d like to do craft type stuff, learn how to knit, or how to carve wood, or something. but he just… never sticks with anything 😭

•i think he has a bit of a hard time with like.. detail oriented stuff- big hands, and they’re not very steady. but he’s a veeeery gentle person

•very aware of his own strength i feel? he’s conscious of how he grabs things- if he ever gives someone a hug, he’s vv aware of how tightly he’s squeezing, and does a good job not accidentally making people uncomfortable 

•he’s my sweet boy he’s such a good lad!! kakeru supremacy

[thegildedbee]

10.14 [ occult transformations ]

Mornings arrive with a chill, the light at day's end is fading faster, and the snap of curses crackling through the ether echo more strongly, as the mid-point of the spooky season comes into view. In this week's fic recs, human bodies prove to be disturbingly malleable, as various forms of sorcery bedevil the lives of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson as they navigate across inhospitable terrain.

[ week 1 was: tricks and treats ] . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ~in order of word length~ De Veritate Unicornis Modernus by tepidspongebath (2013), rated G, 5154 words. This fic is among a handful that has such a distinctive style that it feels to me as if it inhabits a readerly space that exists only when it is approached obliquely rather than straight on (no, I don't know how that works either; it just does). From the first sentence to the last it steps sure-footedly through an enchanted landscape of melancholy that begins to dissipate through some alchemical reaction that occurs when an embittered war veteran and a whirlwind of a consulting detective see in each other what the rest of the world cannot. The veteran, who has come to view "everything with a crippling cynicism," hides away from a London suffused with the vitality of the living as he waits for his body to finish dying -- that is, until he meets a man with "too many dark spaces inside his head, too many shadows," someone who "certainly had one of those Pasts with a capital P that nobody liked to talk about" . . . and is stunned to realize that it is "the first time since the change, that he has felt alive." I always marvel that this is only 5k words, because the world it paints feels as full as time itself.

Lightning and Sea Glass by 221b_careful_what_you_wish_for (2015), rated E, 18280 words. It was a dark and stormy night, and John Watson is a party to inhuman acts that are beyond the pale. The author's characterizations of John's troubled and contradictory thoughts and feelings are psychologically arresting, as they are as well for Sherlock, who is brought painstakingly to life in many different ways. The two companions live in a world of second chances that they fully appreciate (what a concept!), ending with a very satisfying reworking of the Reichenbach Fall (in which the author, apparently possessed of clairvoyance, managed to foreshadow The Abominable Bride.) Moriarty, Mycroft, and Irene appear only briefly, but have perfectly laid out roles to play.

Second Intention by fiorinda_chancellor (2014), rated T, 29512 words. (Among many other wonderfulnesses, this fic has one of my absolutely favorite renderings of the first meeting at Bart's scene, and, come to think of it, in fact may even be my most favorite of all :-)

Sherlock is suffering from disabling symptoms that are interfering with his work. John Watson, a gifted psychosurgeon who can dive into your mind and interact with your subconscious self, diagnoses Sherlock as having been cursed. Sherlock scoffs that John is speaking mythical bollocks, and the two are off to the races to engage in Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell-levels of sparkling adversarial repartee. John wins over Sherlock by describing the curse as having turned his brain and body into a crime scene, and they soon turn into a formidable team, both inside his head and out. It is all breathtakingly fun, and captivating, full of inventive scenes and clever lines, and gleefully quotable throughout: I love it as much as The Princess Bride, and, like the film, re-visiting the fic never fails to delight.

A Study in Strays by philalethia (2014) rated M, 30926 words. When I first began reading fic, inching my way out from proper canon somewhat dubiously into AUs and Crossovers (eventually discovering that, wow, I had been missing oceans of fabulousness by being so reluctant to stray from conventional pathways!!!) I would have bet loads of money that I'd never read a word of "Catlock." Everyone less idiotic than me already had been having lots of fun, and this fic is a well-loved example of the breed. It's perfectly-set for the Halloween season, as it features a very anti-social black cat which behaves in very mysterious ways. John Watson is particularly adorable in this fic, both in his affection for the cat and in his angst and anger when it seems to disappear-but-doesn't-disapper-not-really, and Sherlock is a close second on the (smugly) adorable front.

The Boy Who Drank Stars by kinklock (2016), rated E, 36157 words. John is a wounded soldier who is cursed, although its true nature is obscure. Sherlock is a wizard whom the townspeople fear due to the rumor that he steals hearts, an assertion that John finds to be false (as he'd divined for himself) . . . and yet, nonetheless, to be true as well. John's initial encounter with Sherlock turns out not to be as random as it seems at first blush, and the subtle revelations that occur throughout the fic as to their tangled pasts, present, and possible future nearly always startled me in a rueful yet appreciative way, with "oh, of course, now I see!" following fast. The fic is full of diverting twists and turns, and the final chapter is a tour-de-force, in terms of the plot and of Sherlock and John's relationship and of the ways in which the dynamics below the surface realities ignite. This is a charming fic, a perfect setting for a world in which Johnlock is destiny. [The fic draws creatively on the books and the Studio Ghibli anime for Howl's Moving Castle. Figures from the Sherlock series are deftly inserted into the tale, and while you needn't be familiar with HMC to have the fic spark joy, being familiar with the story definitely amplifies the pleasure of seeing how the fusion aspects play out.] ........................................................................ *fic repost recruits, perhaps??? ❤️ @totallysilvergirl @blogstandbygo @mydogwatson @keirgreeneyes

[sohypothetically]

May I have a brief fangirl moment?

Give a girl a second over here, cuz I don’t think I’ve ever given a shout out.

You see, I want to thank someone for giving me the gift of words. 

A long, long time ago, I wrote a thing. It’s called Girls Night Out (on Fanfic.net and Archiveofourown.) And I hit a certain outtake. Chapter 38. And it kicked my ass. Hard. Like for awhile. I just couldn’t write it. 

And then I went to a conference and took a class with @shiraglassman, who taught us a little bit about how to write a sex scene. And that class, ya’ll. THAT CLASS. This was maybe 2013? That class  taught me SO MUCH. 

Read her. Follow her. Seriously. I don’t care what you like to read or write, whatever she’s got to say, listen to how she’s saying it. She’s a lady who understands that you have to listen to your characters and they’ll tell you how to handle things in their own words when you get stuck. She had a bunch of other, awesome advice, but this advice -- listen -- has stuck with me.

After I got back, I finished that chapter. I don’t know that I ever sent it to her -- I was too embarrassed because it was fanfic and...well, a lot of other reasons. But it was a great scene that I GOT THROUGH because of her.

She’s awesome. And if I never, ever say thank you, it will bother me forever.

[imperatorium]

Ppffff- I love sister imperator and papa nihil because they are the epitome of the “(evil) divorced parents who still occasionally fuck” and the kids have to constantly deal with it and have to do the most long winded response when people ask them if they’re parents are together or not

wbu

See, so, okay. I know it's not uncommon for people to see them as hella divorced but still horny for it and my assumption is that this must make sense for anyone who has come in post-"Kiss The Go-Goat" music video. As someone who came in about a year before that, I had plenty of time to steep in the information we previously had, which was just that a) they're fucking so obviously in love with each other and b) there's some nebulous reason that they aren't formerly together, despite clearly (to me) wanting to be.

I think GoGoat gives nice context as to some shit that's happened between them, but besides that, we have seven other chapters of content and one music video (two, if you're me and headcanon-count "Cirice") showing the hopelessly romantic way they related to one another both in the past and (maybe more importantly) present.

Here's one of my things - despite the Church being a long-lived institution, the events in "Dance Macabre" show that Nihil seems to not have previously had any knowledge or involvement with it. Because I, II, and III are acknowledged as legitimate heirs to the Antipapacy, but Copia, the only one we know has - at least by Clergy standards - been brought in as a third-party is not acknowledged as a legitimate heir, I struggle to imagine that they were children of Nihil's from his previous life outside of the Church. As such, they must have been conceived after his induction into the Antipapacy.

Moreover, Copia is easily seen as the youngest of the Papas, given the other weird canon age/timestamps we've been given - Papa I being in his 70s (I still struggle with this one)/II & III being in their mid-50s circa 2013 and Copia being almost 100% obviously the baby Sister is pregnant with in 1969. So, I, II, & III would have been conceived/born between the events of "Dance Macabre" and GoGoat, but there's also in-character interviews TF has done as Special Ghoul, indicating that each of the other Papas all have different mothers. Maybe you can assume Sister is one of them, but to me that just doesn't track given the way she promotes and dotes on Copia, while putting the others down without much as a second thought.

(Admittedly, I colour a lot of how I see this with an Arthurian tint. Sister is so obviously Morgan Le Fay, Copia is so obviously Mordred to me.)

MY POINT IS, there's something else going on that's kept them apart besides just Nihil falling into rockstar adultery. His moments of rockstar weakness may have been a temporary nail in a coffin, but I have...other (admittedly kind of dark) ideas about how that all folds together. So I do believe there was a bit of a rift between them for a little while, but not an indefinite one.

So, yes. I've always been someone who is drawn to The Main Character's Parents (or Parental Generation) in like 75% of my fandoms, but this one's just like...extra got a hold on me. Over half a century of, at minimum, absolutely longing for each other. The power and legacy she gifted him with. The utter devotion and twitterpation radiating off of him every time they interact. The way she tries so hard to engage him even while she's at her weakest in the hospital. The way his face lights up when her bandages come off. Their little kiss at the NYC tour announcement for Prequelle. The way they look at each other at the end of "Dance Macabre". Her little handgrasp in his direction as she revels (pre-disaster) in watching him perform in "GoGoat". The sheer adoration. Forget Satan, they are each other's religion.

[krisravencroft]

An Introduction

I am Kris Ravencroft, author of The Darkwhisper Chronicles.

The Darkwhisper Chronicles is a book series that I am currently working on, and it is not yet released. With the nuances of my writing and storytelling, as well as my protective nature over my creative vision, it is possible my work will be too niche and strict to ever be formally published by a company. If such is the case, then I intend to at least self-publish, unless something catastrophic prevents even that.

I have been simultaneously developing these characters and building this world myself (and for my own entertainment and creative channeling) since my adolescent years: starting roughly between late 2011 and early 2013. It is only recently (roughly a year and a half ago from this post) through changes in my life and the encouragement of a dear friend that I have decided to tell these stories in novel form. If nothing else, doing so would allow me to immortalize my stories in writing and gift them to the friends who have known of them for a long time, but certainly, the temptation to share them with any kindred spirits that might be interested has also driven me forward: especially now that I have reached a place in my life where I am confident I can render these stories with their best possible face.

Currently, I am working on the first nine or so books in the series, seven of which I am -- at present -- writing concurrently. Internally, I dub the nine as "the starter novels/saga" or "The First Wave," as I view all of them to be perfectly valid entry points into the series which will uniquely frame how a reader engages with the rest of them. This is intentional, as with the nature of my storytelling and the diversity of tales to tell, the reader will be exposed to several main characters all at different points in their respective arcs and all driving their entangled stories forward. I currently have over twenty books planned, and in the total absence of padding, my novels are each likely to be between 500 and 900 pages if I can keep myself from going over.

The identity of The Darkwhisper Chronicles is fully fleshed out and that will be palpable in the reading experience, but pinning down how to describe the series is daunting even for me to explain. When reduced to its absolute bare-bones, it is generally an adult high fantasy and gothic horror series -- meant for veterans of the genres -- that also has dramatic (and conscious) shifts in tone, perspective, narration style, and general flavor based on not only the main protagonist of a given novel, but the driving protagonist of a given scene within said novel. These shifts can be from fast-paced and utilitarian to tranquil and contemplative; from heavy and dramatic to light and comical; from adventure to horror; and from swords and sorcery in a medieval backdrop to noir against a diet steampunk backdrop.

It is worth noting that I subscribe fully to the mindset that a protagonist is someone we follow, rather than the hero/good guy/agreeable figure of a narrative, as many of the primary protagonists will be established as flawed people at best and outright villains at worst, and depending on the perspective of the character as it influences my narration, who serves as protagonist and antagonist will shift just as often as the tone and perspective of a story.

These characters -- and the world they live in -- are very near and dear to my heart, and I look forward to eventually being able to share them with others. For now, I am going to keep track of my progress, use this blog to establish that I am well into the project, and when it sees the light of day, I can interact with those who've enjoyed it. In time, I may give updates here, but I am still thinking on it.

I am open to receiving questions, but keep in mind that I will not be sharing crucial information to the development of the series, and I want to ensure that my ideas remain mine with no room for dispute. Prior to the publication of the novels, I ask that none of the information I share here be used in any capacity, unless specifically stated otherwise.

I simply wish to document and share a bit of my journey as I write.

[thenineofus]

Hey, David

I can't believe it's been eight years since you've gone. It feels like every year without you there is less good in this world. Less to see, less to celebrate, less to love.

Last year I passed by your house in Berlin. Explained to a couple of young american men what the sign said on your building. They seemed nice. The painting on the wall had been erased. Now it looks like a full moon. I guess you'd like that. Someone had left a flower there earlier that day, it was just a random day in may, but I guess people think of you everyday.

While in Berlin I visited many places that you mention in Where are we Now? I like to think I understand the music in your Berlin era a bit better now, Berlin is a very particular place to be in. Now Berlin in my mind sounds like your music.

I don't believe in life after death. Stories are cut short, that's just how life works. It is up to us who were left behind to carry on. I will always keep listening to your music, and I think that's what you'd have wanted. The Next Day and Blackstar are special, because they feel like a gift, they feel like something I shouldn't have but thankfully do. While it does still hurt me to listen to a few songs in Blackstar, it's no longer unbearably painful as it once was, now it is a pleasant ache, like a bittersweet reminder of a good thing that's gone. Every time I lose something I love I think of Blackstar, I urge for the day when the pain will give way to that sweet ache.

I don't know what I wanted when I started writing this, I guess I'm just sad, and thinking of you as I always do this time of the year.

I heard you sing that I'm not alone. I'll make an effort to believe you this time.

[daenerysstormreborn]

Girl, i agree to everything! 🙌 I'm like 80% kinda sure that Dany will end a villain in the books too bcs of Grrm interviews, what has he being saying of the magical tools solving the problems of heroes in other books with magic aspects, and bcs i feel like the dragons/targs have been portrayed in a darky way (to wake them you need to sacrifice beloved people)

Also if we see the previous Long Night people made a pact with the others to end it and it doesn't mention dragons being used apparently (it makes the impresion that they are pointless)

Also also 😅 even if we don't like GoT/D&D we can't ignore that they are 💰 obsessed! But then suddenly, out of blue, they come with an ending that seems like an exact copy of a group that everyone hated in 2013? It doesn't makes sense to end it that way until you remember that they had a contract to be fulfilled in some way

This came in before I got a good long response to my post and I missed it; my bad.

Based on comments from D&D, like claiming they came up with the idea for Jon to kill her, and stating that her destruction was not an inevitability:

"If circumstances had been different, I don't think this side of Dany ever would have come out. If Cersei hadn't betrayed her, if Cersei hadn't executed Missandei, if Jon hadn't told her the truth -- if all these things had happened in any different way, then I don't think we'd be seeing this side of Daenerys Targaryen."

It makes me lean far more towards hero Dany and assuages a lot of my doubt.

To wake them you need to sacrifice beloved people

Has this been a theme touched upon in Fire and Blood? I’d like to know how far reaching this concept is. Because dragons are also associated with birth. Dragon eggs are placed in the cradles of newborns. The dragons in the prophecy are awoken from stone in association with birth. Melisandre said that king’s blood is required to wake them, but does that inherently mean sacrificing someone else? Daenerys has king’s blood. She shed a great deal of it during her miscarriage. And she walked into the fires, prepared to die if that was what fate had for her. Technically, she had no real reason to believe she was truly literally immune to fire. I had always interpreted this as suicidal behavior. She may have mentally framed it differently but I viewed her actions as such. She’d lost her husband and child so she took her most valuable wedding gift and decided to die alongside the person she held responsible for her losses (I frame it that way because I am of the belief that Mirri did intend to heal and her “confession” was an act of spite).

Although that doesn’t necessarily jive with the Azor Ahai story in which a loved one must be sacrificed to create lightbringer, so if you think the dragons themselves are lightbringer, then my theory doesn’t quite work.

I definitely think the dragons will be involved in defeating the others. I mean, sure, the dragon glass and Valyrian steel could be red herrings. And as you said, they’ve been defeated without dragons before. But that didn’t work out so well in the end. Isn’t the pact an invention of the show? I haven’t finished ADWD so I still have some critical Bran chapters to read but afaik we do not know exactly how the long night ended. But dragons have never been mentioned, true.

The end of GoT really was so bad. That’s why I’ve been so tempted to believe that they must have been working towards something GRRM had laid out early on. It’s just much easier to believe that than the idea that they came up with their own bad idea and then fumbled it but if it’s really true that the only info D&D were given was Hodor, who sits the throne, and Shireen burning… then they’re far dumber than I thought.

[upismediacenter]

FEATURE: A Soundtrack for the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? Do you notice the colder nights and the mall decorations? That’s because the holidays are almost upon us, and what better way to get into a festive mood than to blast a Christmas playlist all day long? For that, we prepared a list of songs for the season just for you! From parties with karaoke sessions to chill family nights, it’s all here.

Photo edited by: Charlize Yamo

Christmas festivities wouldn’t be complete without the classics that we all know and love. Even though we normally don’t hear them outside of the holiday season, somehow, we can sing all the words as soon as the first note plays. Here are three of those songs:

All I Want for Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey Jingle Bell Rock by Bobby Helms Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree by Brenda Lee

If you’re tired of the classics and are looking for more mainstream pop sounds, we have some tunes just for you. These are perfect for when you’re at a Christmas party and it’s time to play games or indulge in the potluck:

25th by Tori Kelly Alone for Christmas by Ty Dolla $ign, Kiana Lede Here This Christmas by Gwen Stefani Marry Christmas by salem ilese My Only Wish (This Year) by Britney Spears Santa Tell Me by Ariana Grande Only When It Snows by Nova Miller

After the high-energy party vibe, it’s time to chill. Put on some background music while chatting and opening gifts with your family, like these:

What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve? by The Carpenters I Wish It Would Snow by Dave Barnes Home For The Holidays by Matt Belsante Santa Baby by Haley Reinhart Christmas at Home by Madison Olds, Nearly York

Some people also spend the holidays with their special someone. Though it’s not Valentine’s Day, there’s no shortage of Christmas love songs. Among those, we picked three of the best to share. Of course, these can be enjoyed regardless if you’re single, dating, crushing on someone who doesn’t like you back, or in a complicated situationship:

The Greatest Gift by Leroy Sanchez One I’ve Been Missing by Little Mix Think of Christmas by Anne-Marie

There are also many things about Christmas in the Philippines that can only be captured by OPM. One of them is caroling which happens every year, without fail. Aside from the iconic caroling staples Sa May Bahay Ang Aming Bati and Ang Pasko Ay Sumapit, we also have well-known ABS-CBN Christmas Station IDs such as Star ng Pasko (2009), Thank You for The Love (2015), and Magkasama Tayo Sa Kwento Ng Pasko (2013). But that’s not all there is to OPM Christmas songs. Here are a few bops that perfectly encapsulate the Filipino Christmas experience:

Halo-halo by The Itchyworms Bibingka by Ben&Ben No Snow by Reese Lansangan Araw-Araw Pasko by Matthios, Gloc 9

No matter what kind of music you’re into, Christmas songs will always evoke a feeling of joy and nostalgia that cannot be accomplished by other songs. It reminds us of parols in October, Noche Buena, approaching our relatives with our hands ready to receive red angpaos, Simbang Gabi, and the season of giving. The holiday season would be incomplete without the accompaniment of Christmas carols.

As a little gift, we prepared a Spotify playlist that you can blast at your next Christmas party: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/64YIXg8YIPKpyqUtV8Hocx?si=f028338959724e42 //by Charlize Yamo

[thecleverqueer]

Random thoughts while watching the Book of Boba Fett Episode Three:

*The mods are kind of a weird concept. Is this what all the kids on Tatooine are doing these days? They’re making themselves into f*^%ing cyborgs? And why does that one kid have a webcam eyeball? Like, dude.. if you’re going to remove a body part in favor of droid part, make said droid part badass… don’t use a stand-alone webcam from 2013.

*Boba Fett collects allies a lot like normal folks collect useless trinkets. You see something that grabs your interest, think, “hmm this might be cool.. come work for me.” And, that’s it.

*The mods’ bikes are also weird. They look like they should be in Grease or something, maybe some future bullshit from Back To the Future, but in Star Wars? Plus, they’re a weird style for a desert planet. They just clash with the general aesthetic.

*Way to integrate the burping frog from the original trilogy to try and tie everything together… besides f*^%ing with characters like making Boba kinda soft in this when he was a hard ass MF in the OT.

*Oh Boba… what did I tell you about doing business with the Pykes!? You had the chance to off them, you showed mercy, and now they’ve killed your Tusken family.

*Black Krrsantan is a badass wookie. He takes out the cyborgs, then he bites right into the arm of that Gamorean (which may or may not taste like space pork. I dunno… if it isn’t cannon, it should be).

*Despite all the trappings, Star Wars characters only eat fruit and/or turkey legs (or, whatever their equivalency of turkey legs may be).

*The Hutts give Boba both a f*^%ing Rancor AND a beast of a wookie? Interesting turn of events…. “quite the gift indeed.”

*Jaguar mentions that the night sisters rode Rancors and now I can’t get the image of Ventress sitting atop one, lightsabers blazing while shit talking someone she’s about to beat the crap out of out of my head.

*The high speed chase between the annoying major domo and the mods on their weird speeders is excessive and kinda hokey TBH. Damn, look at all the water that they wasted!

*Fennec and Boba about to go to war with the Pykes. Roll credits.

[solomonish]

What I Think Your Favorite Demon Brother Says About You

warning for deprecating and some nsfw humor. also this is all for the memes i doubt anybody fits all these boxes

Lucifer

every otome game you’ve ever played has a man that looks exactly like him. and you go for it. every. time.

no. i’m not joking. go into your otome memory databank and look at all the character you’ve romanced. that’s right, you black-haired red-eyed vampire loving bitch they’re all the same

speaking of: you say “oh haha sparkly vampires ew real vampires or horrifying creatures of the night” but you secretly want to be sucked dry by a vampire of the handsome sparkly sort

you are religious about ao3 fic tagging (as you should be)

you have looked into those websites where you sign up to be a sugar baby

Mammon

the childhood friend trope was not an option so you stuck with this

it takes exactly 76.6% of you ONE comfortable casual conversation for you to fall in love

You have what it takes to make several viral tiktoks. Not for your wit though they all end in you getting hurt

You don't know if you're going to/what you want to go for in college. Even if you're currently in college.

“you’re ALREADY annoyed with me?? Try having me in your head all the time forever!!”

20 million phone games because they bore you too easily and you forget to delete them

you’ve had to swear yourself off of amazon lest you spend every last dollar on sketchy finds

Leviathan

you’re either so familiar with psychological projection you’ve somehow morphed it’s meaning in your mind to something different entirely or you are not familiar with it at all

you (or your friends) know/knew the Russian national anthem and would frequently make the obligatory communism jokes high schoolers find so funny for some reason

you were the friend who openly admitted to their friends that you wrote fanfic

You kin

You had a google+ and used it regularly

Also a wattpad (and you still have a wattpad?)

You wish text signatures were still a thing

Satan

you are/will be the former gifted kid who burned out two years into their degree and are now/will be having an existential crisis for a solid few years

you believe in catboy supremacy

All of your OCs are/were "super quiet and shy but mess with her friends and she'll killies you!!!1!!1"

you secretly wish you had a reason to go somewhere nice and dress up

Scary good at mafia-style games

“your mind and your meat are huge”

if you ever take an ethics class you WILL be the person who lets it get to their head and won’t shut up about kantian ethics

[raises hand] if i may play devil’s advocate?

Asmodeus

you filter fics on ao3 by explicit only

you either spend 2 hours minimum getting ready in the morning or you don’t but you DO have a pinterest board full of outfits you’d spend 2 hours minimum getting ready in the morning for

Your shortcomings are the fault of your zodiac sign

You fell into the mustache pattern trend in like 2013

There is at least one social media site where you have/had over 1k followers

“here let me in the dressing room, I’ll help you change!”

someone asking you to zip up the back of their dress is the highest form of flattery and clasping a necklace on someone is the most romantic gesture in the world

you like high school musical

Beelzebub

you want a guy that’s sweet, a guy that’s tough, a feminist who likes to pay for stuff

crunching sounds are good ASMR for you

himbos are good for the soul (and while beel is not quite a himbo it’s close enough to count)

your courting process involves asking a significant other to crack a watermelon between their thighs

YES it is reasonable to go to walmart in your pjs at 1 am on a school night they have GUSHERS

if there is any type of ball within your vicinity you WILL pick it up and toss it up in the air aimlessly. this is not up for debate

tiddies (any gender) are best used for friends’ pillows (second best purpose: crumb catchers)

Belphegor

cMoN fUcK mE EmO bOy

you are told you cannot have something so you immediately need it (moreso than is to be expected)

you’ve used that one sad kaneki icon before

You torture your sims and only play to get a taste of what it feels like to be god

you secretly still like those black-and-white images with the borderline insensitive depression quotes

you’ve gotten in trouble for the stupid stuff you’ve looked up online for one reason or another

you would stick your hand in a lion’s cage just to pet the kitty

you definitely had a secret simon curtis phase

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, BLOOD Official Visual Fanbook Short Story: Sakamaki Laito VS Mukami Azusa

Source: Diabolik Lovers More, Blood Official Visual Fanbook

Release date: 2013

Disclaimer: Both sides portray the same story, but from a different perspective. The first story is written from Laito’s POV, while the second portrays the events from Azusa’s POV.

LAITO’S SIDE

ーー They say that sharing is caring.

However, something truly delicious, I would rather not share with anyone at all.

While said thought crosses my mind, I push Bitch-chan down against the classroom floor before forcibly peeling the clothes from her body.

“No...Don’t! Not here...!”

“Oh my~? You wouldn’t mind if we were somewhere else then? Little lewd Bitch-chan?”

When I tease her with those words, her face flushes a bright crimson.

How cute, I find myself thinking, while at the same time feeling just a tinge of regret knowing that the black figure looming in the corner of my eye witnessed the same sight.

Aah, geez. What a waste.

“Eve is...protesting. However...That’s a good thing, no? It is, right?”

This person...Azusa-kun moves behind Bitch-chan, restraining her arms so she can no longer move.

“Azusa-kuuun~? ...What are you doing, if I may ask?”

“Eh? I just thought I would...make Eve feel even better...”

The words had only just left his lips, and he already latched onto her nape.

He was too quick, I didn’t even have the time to stop him.

I get thrown off.

Azusa-kun has always been a hard nut for me to crack.

He may seem similar to Kanato-kun at first glance, but they are worlds apart.

“Nfu~ ...Geez, Bitch-chan...Look at you totally enjoying Azusa-kun’s fangs even though you belong to me. What a naughty girl you are.”

I can’t let myself lose either, so I button down her blouse.

And then, after baring her chest, I immediately plunged my fangs inside the exposed skin.

Like that, I savor her sweet, syrupy blood.

I can see Azusa-kun’s hair moving behind her shoulder.

Quite unexpectedly, Azusa-kun seems to be sinking his fangs inside Bitch-chan’s back.

“Taking off her clothes is my job though...”

As a result, her shirt had already been completely discarded at some point, as she stood there almost completely bare.

I could not help but let a sigh slip.

“Say, Laito-san....? Let’s give Eve more pain...together, okay...? You want that too, don’t you, Eve? My fangs...and Laito-san’s fangs too...”

“Nfu...~”

Azusa-kun speaks those words, seemingly enjoying the current situation very much.

Usually, I would get even more excited from seeing Bitch-chan as she has her blood sucked.

Watching her gasp for air from someone else’s fangs.

However...Such thoughts did not even cross my mind, as I instead felt a strong urge to keep her blood all to myself.

“Geez, what is going on...Haah...”

While sighing, I bury my face in her stomach.

She twists her body at the ticklish sensation, but thanks to Azusa-kun’s strong grip, she is unable of getting away.

I feel puzzled by this situation where it almost seems as if she is being offered to me.

“Haah...I suppose it can’t be helped. I wouldn’t be quite myself if I didn’t try and make the best of this situation, right?”

I whisper those words almost as if I am trying to convince myself, before sinking my fangs inside the soft flesh of Bitch-chan’s stomach.

ーー The End.

AZUSA’S SIDE

ーー That person also told me that I should give my genuine gratitude in response to other people’s gifts.

The classroom after school.

Eve’s shrill cries echo through the room. 

“No...Don’t! Not here...!”

“Oh my~? You wouldn’t mind if we were somewhere else then? Little lewd Bitch-chan?”

After having fallen victim to Laito-san’s ministrations, Eve’s skin is slowly being bared like a pupa shedding its skin.

I grab her arms in the process.

Because I figured that it would be easier on Laito-san if I were to restrain her like this.

“Eve is...protesting. However...That’s a good thing, no? It is, right?”

When I say that, Laito-san looks me straight into the eyes. 

I wonder if that is his way of agreeing with me? 

Somehow that makes me feel very happy.

“Azusa-kuuun~? ...What are you doing, if I may ask?”

However, watching my actions, he asked me the aforementioned question.

“Eh? I just thought I would...make Eve feel even better...”

I respond instantly, before latching onto Eve’s temptingly trembling nape.

“Nfu~ ...Geez, Bitch-chan...Look at you totally enjoying Azusa-kun’s fangs even though you belong to me. What a naughty girl you are.”

While I feel a pang of guilt at Laito-san’s disappointed tone in his voice, I can’t stop myself. 

I’ve been thirsty this whole time.

While I was going to let Laito-san go first, I couldn’t hold myself back.

I gulp down her sweet blood. 

I feel as if my body rejoices at this syrupy taste spreading inside my mouth.

“Haah...Eve.”

While quietly whispering her name, I firmly tugged her closer by the back of the collar of her loosened shirt.

Her pale backside is in full view.

The fairness of her skin seems to be begging me to thrust my fangs inside.

Without speaking a word, I bit her there as well. 

My fangs gradually sink inside.

Each time, her body twitches for a split second.

I wonder if she trembles from the pain of my fangs.

“Say, Laito-san....? Let’s give Eve more pain...together, okay...? You want that too, don’t you, Eve? My fangs...and Laito-san’s fangs too...”

I leave painful scars all across her fair back, like trampling over freshly fallen snow.

She has definitely been yearning for this the whole time as well. 

Therefore, I am convinced she wishes for Laito-san to do the same. It is obvious.

Right as that thought crossed my mind...

“Nfu...~”

Laito-san’s reaction confirmed my words.

It’s just like I thought.

Laito-san has also been enlightened to the pleasure that is pain. ...In other words, he is just like me.

Overwhelmed by joy, I once again sink my fangs in Eve’s back.

Because to me, being able to share the joy stemming from this meaningful action is all I could ever wish for.

So all together...Let’s do more and more painful things...?

What do you say? Sounds good, no?

ーー The End.

[in-superbloom]

did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? (a.i.)

right where you left me: prologue

pairing: ashton irwin x olivia jones (oc)

warnings: uhh a kinda grieving theme i guess? but no deaths. it has a sad tone overall, but nothing major (in this chapter hehe). foul language because i can't help myself. the tiniest mention of alcohol, but as a memory. think i should probably warn you that this contains a very sad ash. also not much dialogues. this is mainly for explanation and introduction, but very important for the story. if you find anything else that might be triggering, please let me know so i can add it here !!

author's note: oof okay. so. this is the prologue of a series very very dear to my heart that i've been working on for what it feels like my whole life but really it's been just a few months. but i'm in love with the story (which rarely happens with my own writing) so i hope you can enjoy it too !! this is also my very first time posting a fic since 2013 so pls keep that in mind <3 no i am not shaking as type this ofc not also: although i have the full story ready in my head, this is the only chapter that's written. i wanted to wait until i had at least a few ready before posting this but i'm too anxious for that lmao just saying this bc it will take a good while until i have any more chapters, so <3 (p.s.: i went over this thing a million times since may so if you find any errors pls look away, i'm not fixing this thing anymore. thanks <3)

another note: anna from the future here to say that i completely forgot about the playlist i made for the story lmao here it is in case you're interested k thanks bye <3

credits: title is from taylor swift's song right where you left me. model in the picture: paola locatelli. banner by me.

i also wanted to take a minute to thank some really nice friends that i've made here over these past few months & that i'm extremely grateful for @wastelandcth @suchalonelysunflower @littledrummerangie i cannot thank you babes enough for inspiring me the way that you do & for letting me yell about this to you && for encouraging me so much 🥺 i'll never be able to explain just how much this means to me, so i'll have to settle for saying thank you at any change that i can get <3 i love you all 💜 also gem my baby, thank you for the inspo with the banner 💚

@bluesdelis look babe i did it 😌 you know how grateful i am for you & for you letting me have a breakdown every week about my writing for the past 8 years so let's not dive into that or else i will write something bigger than this prologue jsjsjdjd love you 🖤

i hope you all have a good reading and a nice day ♡

let me know what are your thoughts about the fic ! ♡

word count: 4.1k

☆☆☆

Cold. That was the first thing that Olivia’s brain processed.

Still with her eyes closed, she buried herself more into the duvet, while her arm blindly reached for the furnace in human form that she calls boyfriend. However, as soon as her arm was only met with cold sheets, her eyes shot open.

Blinking the sleep away, she sat up on the bed, searching for the infamous red clock resting on Ashton’s bedside table that was supposed to look like a vintage alarm clock. Olivia had ordered it online at an auction website a couple of years back, as a gift for his 23rd birthday, since it was something he had mentioned multiple times prior that he was looking for, but still hadn't found. But when it finally came in (two weeks after the due date), it looked nothing like the picture she saw on the website. Feeling beyond frustrated, she wanted to send it back immediately and ask for a refund and maybe leave a not so polite review on the seller's page. But Ashton stopped her right away, laughing like the situation was absolutely hilarious to him, while saying, 'I like it, it’s quirky'. So, the clock stayed and found a home right next to him in their room.

Some days, however, she would wake up at some ungodly hour because of the blaring noise of the only ringtone the clock had. But whatever annoyance she could feel towards the object, it always vanished as soon as she felt Ashton's lips gently touching her face in a good morning kiss before he would get up to start his day, leaving her to catch some more hours of well deserved sleep.

As the furthest from a morning person as a touring musician could possibly be, Olivia had always feared that living under the same roof as Ashton would turn her into an early bird like him, but she's thankful that it never happened (not that he needs to know about that).

When she sees the red clock, she smiles at the sudden but welcome memories of them flooding her foggy brain, but frowns slightly when she realizes it reads 12:13 pm. Ashton rarely lets her sleep past 10 am.

Gathering all her strength and will, she rises up from the bed, smoothly picking up a grey wool sweatshirt from the chair (way too baggy on her slim body, but it smells like him), pulling it over her head and relishing on the soft material warming up her body. Making her way to the door and calmly going down the stairs, she can’t help but stop for a minute to admire the picture frames on their walls, one in particular catches her attention – probably one of the most prized pictures and memories they had. It felt older than it actually is, but it was around 4 years ago, she's sure – a little while after the two of them met. The picture was of their group of friends that still remains the same: Ashton and his best friend, Luke; Olivia, her best friend, Calum and their old hometown friend, turned into Calum’s new friend at college, turned into everyone’s friend, Michael; and her then newly band members, Suki, Eli and Ravi. Together, their group was the life of the party through all their college years, and it showed by the big smiles and drinks in hands they all had in the picture. It was a very special night, the first time Olivia’s little band played for the public – for a small audience sure, but it was a wonderful night nonetheless. What a long road it had been since that night.

Her nostalgic thoughts were interrupted by a shiver that went through her whole body, and it made her realize how oddly cold the whole house was, not only their bedroom. Which, granted, it was November in New York and the weather was just getting colder, but that’s exactly why Ashton always made sure to keep the house warm enough. As much as she loved the chilly season, the warm weather always reminded him of his hometown, and who was she to deny him that?

The smell of fresh made coffee could be sensed even before she reached the kitchen. Arriving there, the curly haired woman still found no signs of her boyfriend, so she went straight after the coffee maker pot sitting on the far left corner of the cream marble counter. Smiling softly at the tons of memories of Ashton's sleepy figure making their favorite beverage, she reached for a coffee mug on the cupboard on top of the counter and poured the remainder of the hot liquid on it (it's her favorite mug, if she must choose – it was a gift from a fan, and it had printed on it a collage of the pictures of her and Ashton that were posted on social media through their first year of relationship).

Moving to the glass doors that lead to the mini garden they cultivate, she didn't have to open them to spot the 6-feet-tall man sitting on a bench outside, looking oddly small in his oversized clothes, coffee mug tightly held between strong hands. Something about his figure made Olivia frown, however: he was staring with an unwavering look at her small but eye-catching pot of yellow daffodils that were almost as much of a pet to them as Stitch at this point. Sensing that there’s something definitely off about his semblance, she made a mental note to talk to him and find out what’s wrong later. So she goes back to the kitchen, knowing that he might need this quiet and private moment for himself.

She lost count of the minutes that went by (couldn't have been more than five) before she hears the garden's door opening and closing, and then his bare feet are dragging his brawny body to her. Except, he goes over to the sink, walking right through her, not showing any sign that he even saw her hunched figure over the counter table in the middle of the room.

Alright, someone's in a mood.

Olivia tries to swallow the annoyance already bubbling inside her – he knows how much she hates to be ignored, no matter how mad he might be – by trying to think of what she can say that won't piss him off. This is always a hard feat to accomplish when Ashton gets in these moods, but there’s a reason for them to work so well together.

“I missed my favorite body heater when I woke up,” she says in her best sweet voice, knowing how quickly his resolve crumbles when he hears that voice.

Still, no reaction.

That settles a worry at the pit of her stomach, because Ashton is never like this. Even when he's not in the mood to talk, he always gives some kind of reaction to her words; it doesn't matter how small, just enough to make her feel acknowledged.

When he's finished washing his mug and the few scattered dishes across the sink – she noticed that he already had lunch, if the lone plate in the drying rack is anything to go by –, he dries his hand in a towel, turns around and throws it on top of the same counter Olivia was leaning up against. Once again, he walks away not even sparing her a look.

Indignant, she leaves the now empty coffee mug on top of the table and follows him as he walks up the stairs, any determination to not aggravate his mood now well gone.

“Hey! In case you didn't notice, I'm right here. Whatever got you in this sour mood, I'm certainly not to blame, so can you stop being a child now and talk to me?!”

Ashton just keeps walking – more like sluggishly dragging his body – until he reaches their bedroom and suddenly stops just merely two feet inside the room, looking around with vacant eyes; like he was expecting to see something that wasn't there.

“Okay, that's really mature of you. Are you planning on ignoring me all day then?” Olivia questions exasperated, staring angrily at the back of his neck, where the condor tattoo lives – her favorite of his, but that sight doesn't bring her any peace today like it usually does.

Her glare only breaks when she hears the familiar sound of dog tags swaying on her right side. Shifting her gaze to the direction of the sound, Olivia notices Stitch, their small, black & white French bulldog – who she thought was outside in the garden – slowly trudging his way from around the bed until he stops at Ashton's feet, looking up at one of his humans with sad eyes. That realization only makes the worry in her stomach grow uncomfortably.

“Hi buddy,” Ashton's voice cracks a bit from the lack of use, but he smiles softly at the sweet dog, and crouches down to pet him.

Olivia can't help but gasp as she notices three things all at once that leave her overwhelmed: first, how she didn't even notice Stitch was in the room when she woke up – which never ever happens, in fact, most days he wakes her up whenever he deems her bedtime as finished and can't ever contain his excitement when she finally gets up; second, how the windows blinds are closed, which, again, rarely occurs under their roof, not if Ashton can help it. And third, how sad and melancholic the whole scene in front of her is – how sad and melancholic Ashton is. Pointless to say by now – that's also a very rare occasion.

A chill creeps up Olivia's spine, putting her body into high alert and also serving as a reminder of how everything looks out of place today. Trying to keep her head from spiraling down way too soon, she wraps her arms around herself and crouches down beside her two favorite boys, trying once more.

“Ash? Can you hear me?” even with her throat closing, she softly asks, purposefully putting her face in Ashton's point of view. Her only answer is the low whispers he's letting out to Stitch, while cradling the tiny dog in his arms, spreading gentle kisses on his head.

“I know, bud, I know. I miss her too,” is the only whisper she could understand and immediately wishes she hadn't. The weak wail that comes from Stitch's throat seems to fit perfectly with how the three of them feel.

Ashton then looks up and for a couple of seconds, and Olivia can swear he’s staring right into her eyes. But when he shows no reaction, she knows he’s just staring ahead and not at her, with that look that says there’s too much going on inside his head. She feels the urge to embrace him and get him to talk about whatever is on his mind, so they can share that weight like they always do, but when Ashton gets up from the ground and settles on the bed with Stitch, Olivia can physically feel the crack in her heart caused by the feeling she’s left with.

While Ashton is pulling the duvet over him and the dog, with clearly no intentions of getting up anytime soon, Olivia stands up on her feet with a new-found determination – she needs to figure out what the hell is going on.

This nightmare had to be just that, right? Nothing but a very vivid dream – she's had those before. Scary sure, but they always go away, and soon enough she's back into Ashton's arms, with Stitch jumping on the bed ready to lick their faces off. She just needs to wake herself up from whatever fucked up dream this is – right?

She's running down the stairs this time, frantically in search of something, of what exactly, she doesn’t know – but she knows she needs an answer. The more she looks for something, the more desperate she gets, not knowing what to look for. Then suddenly, something catches her eyes.

The white and blue calendar that's held up by magnets on the side of the fridge. She knows their calendar is red and yellow. They got it from their favorite flower market. Slowly, as if scared of what it might be there – “It's just a calendar, for fucks sake” – she approaches the damn thing. Upon inspection, she deems it as a normal calendar – she really doesn't know what she was expecting – until.

She knows what's wrong with it now.

It's November. She knows it, because the Asian and last leg of her first world tour is about to begin November 21st, eleven days from today. Right after Mike's birthday, she knows this.

Then why does the calendar say today is January 14th?

☆ ☆ ☆

Ashton woke up with a jolt. He quickly sat up, frightening the little Frenchie that was asleep right next to him on the bed. Trying to make sense of his surroundings, he roughly rubbed his face to get some sleep off of it and soon reached for the dog that was staring at him with sleepy but sad eyes. Ashton is sure Stitch understands far more than a dog is supposed to understand about their current situation.

The room is covered in shadows, almost pitch black, but he can see the sunlight even through the thick dark grey blinds covering up the windows. Ashton knows he won't be able to sleep again at that moment, so he gets up from the bed – much slower than he used to. His heartbeat is still out of control because of the nightmare that woke him up, but he can't bother to pay attention to it when Stitch is softly wailing beside him. Ashton lets out a ghost of a smile when the dog rests his head on his right upper thigh, looking up at him with an expression Ashton knows all too well.

“C'mon you little ravenous creature, let's feed you,” the bulldog excitedly jumps to the ground, already running his way down the stairs, not even waiting for Ashton to get up.

That gets a real smile out of him, but it vanishes as soon as he glances at the alarm clock on his bedside table. It reads 5:13 am, nothing out of the ordinary for him. But that small and inoffensive clock, with its red paint peeling off, holds a lot of memories for him. Memories that two months ago would bring joy to his heart, but now he almost wants to throw the object across the room.

It was a stupid thing, really. He had been wanting a vintage alarm clock and Olivia got one for his birthday. But the product they received was definitely not the one she bought, and if he's being honest, he didn't like it as much as he made out to. But seeing her so excited in the weeks before it arrived, and how disappointed she was when it did, he couldn't help but try his best to make her smile that luminous smile again. It's part of his nature by now.

That's also the reason why he lets her think that he doesn't notice when she wakes up at some ungodly hour (her words, not his) along with him, because of the annoying and only sound the alarm clock is able to produce. He always leaves soft kisses in every inch of bare skin he can find on her sleeping figure, so she goes back to the dream land and doesn't wake up before 10 am. No one wants to deal with that kind of bad humor, not even him.

As much as he likes being a morning person and absolutely enjoys her company in the mornings, he knows she'll take any and every extra hour of sleep she can get before starting the day. And that's why he loves that she's so stubborn that his early bird tendencies never got to her – he knows she feared that this would happen when they moved in together, but he met her like this, fell for her like this. He wouldn't change a single thing about her.

Ashton drags himself out of the bed, wincing slightly at how cold the wooden floors are under his bare feet. He doesn't bother putting some socks on, or a sweater – the cold weather in the house is uncharacteristically comforting to him. Nothing feels warm without her anyway.

While descending the stairs, he mentally curses himself for not being strong enough to look past the picture frames on the wall. One in particular catches his eyes – a picture from the night of Olivia's first concert with her band. The memories of that night are still painfully vivid in his mind: the laughter among their group that eventually infected everyone at the pub, Suki and Luke's first kiss and the silly smile that didn't leave his best friend's face all night, the standing ovation Olivia got after her three-songs set, and her captivating and breathtaking smile that made him realize right then and there, while watching her sway to the music, that he was definitely falling in love with her and there was nothing he could do to stop it – not that he wanted to.

So many memories held up on that wall, in the relatively short time since they met, that he can't help but wonder if that's all they'll get in this lifetime.

Ashton is abruptly taken out of his thoughts by Stitch's barks coming from the bottom of the stairs. He quickly jogs down the few steps left and goes straight after the dog's food in the kitchen's cabinet. After Stitch starts to happily devour his breakfast, Ashton goes to make his coffee, doing enough for two people like he always does, since Calum drops by most days for a chat or to drop Duke before going to work. Although all three of them know he just can't bother to make food for himself in the morning, while Ashton is the group's elected chef. Ashton always says he just needs a boyfriend – Olivia says Calum already has one who makes him breakfast every day.

He grabs an apple from the fridge and makes his way outside to their garden. Even though a lot of their memories took place there, the garden is the only space in the house where he doesn't feel like suffocating all the time. At least here, he can breathe some fresh air and look at the sky when he's feeling overwhelmed – which is basically all he's been doing for about a month now.

Yet, a lot of the garden has Olivia's name written all over.

He remembers vividly the day she came home after spending two weeks in LA doing some pocket shows, with a pack of daffodil seeds and the largest smile. She excitedly told him that a friend gifted it to her when she mentioned the little garden they were planning to build together at their new house. The friend told Olivia that daffodils symbolize rebirth and new beginnings, so as the good lover of symbolism that she is, Olivia loved the idea of having those flowers to symbolize their new beginning.

Ashton, on the other hand, wasn't a fan of the flowers at first – he just didn't see the appeal to them. But nonetheless, he indulged her, letting Olivia plant the seeds near the bench they used to sit during the quiet and unrushed afternoons, so they could admire the sunset, and she could happily look at the daffodils.

Pointless to say – the damn flowers grew on him.

Now, however, looking at them without Olivia and her contagious joy next to him, they were back to be as dull as they were before, if not more so.

Still lost inside his head without any sense of how much time went by since he sat down, Ashton doesn't hear the front door closing, and doesn't notice that he's no longer the only person inside the house until someone sits next to him on the bench. Yet, he doesn't show any sign of acknowledgement to them.

A few minutes go by before either of them speaks up.

“Luke said you didn't go to see her yesterday,” Calum starts softly, not wanting to disturb the calmness of the morning.

Ashton takes a few seconds to respond, “No point in doing that.” The black haired man licks his lips while thinking carefully about his next words.

“You know staying inside this house all day by yourself won't help either,” Calum turns his head to his left and takes a good look at Ashton's uncharacteristically hunched over figure, and immediately thinks that anyone can tell this man is not himself anymore. His second thought is that Olivia would hate seeing him like this.

“And what exactly do you expect me to do? Move on with my life like nothing happened? Like I'm not slowly and painfully losing the love of my life? Just because it’s easy for you doesn't mean it's easy for me.”

Calum closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He knows Ashton doesn't mean it, it's the anger and frustration talking. He knows it. Doesn't make it sting any less.

“I'm not telling you to move on with your life, because that's far from what I'm doing, and I certainly don't expect you to do it. I'm just saying you need to occupy your mind or else–”

“I'll go insane? Think it's a bit too late for that,” Ashton interrupts with a bitter tone that doesn't belong to his usual chirpy voice.

“You know it's not,” Calum sighs and drinks the rest of his coffee, moving his body slightly, so he's facing the blonde man, “I got a job interview for you at that school you talked about so much last summer, the principal said you can go any day this week. I went ahead and sent her your resume as well as explained everything that she needs to know about Olivia, so you don't have to. You just gotta put on some decent clothes and show up.” he sees Ashton's face softening a little and takes it as a victory. A few beats go by and then, “Maybe take a shower too. That's gonna make you feel better.” Calum leans in closer to his friend's personal space and takes a sniff, causing Ashton to deflect from him slightly, but not to push him away – another small win.

“Definitely take a shower, you stink. When was the last time your hair saw shampoo?”

“Fuck off,” is Ashton's only reply to the younger man's inquest. But Calum can see a smile creeping up on the blonde's face, which brings out a smile of his own.

“I'll send you all the details later today,” he checks the hour on the watch on his wrist and gets up, “Just please, Ash, go. I can't lose you too.”

Calum gently lays a hand on Ashton's shoulder and squeezes a little. The man doesn't look up, but gives a curt nod to his friend, who's satisfied enough. Calum stops on the threshold of the garden glass doors to give some kisses to Stitch – who came to make Ashton company as soon as he finished his food –, and then he puts the coffee mug on the dishwater. And soon enough, he's on his way out of the door. But not before snatching a tangerine from the fridge.

Ashton is left by himself once again. As he hears the sound of the front door closing, he thinks that this might be his life from now on. Just him and Stitch, trying their hardest to make it through another miserable day without the love of their lives. While everyone else comes by just to make sure he's still breathing. Breathing, maybe, but alive?

Swallowing the tears, he looks up at the sky. It's a deep, beautiful mix of orange, pink and blue, but he knows that it won't last long and soon the rain will be pouring down. He thinks about how much Olivia loves the rain.

God, he needs to pull himself together. She would hate to see him like this. Maybe he should take Calum's offer after all, he really needs to occupy his mind.

Making a mental note to thank Calum later, and also to apologize for how rude he was to him this morning, Ashton slowly gets up from the bench to put his mug on the sink and makes his way to the living room, with the small dog loyally following his every step. He puts on some cartoon that for once doesn't remind him of her (she always lovingly made fun of him for still watching those) and cuddles with Stitch on the couch. He can take a shower later.

Not half an hour goes by, he falls asleep and has a good dream for a change. He dreams of the days he spent with Olivia in the Philippines last February, right before her first world tour started. Some of the most magical days of their lives – surrounded by delicious food, a whole new culture to learn about and the warmth of the sun. Infinite counted days full of love and passion, where they were the only people in the world.

Even his subconscious knows to hold on to that brief moment of happiness, because he might never live that again.