#i think the main driver for this piece would be that line from snow by ricky montgomery

[kalicocal]

guilty conscience

[ladyloveandjustice]

Spring 2021 anime overview: Quick Takes

Now for my Spring 2021 anime thoughts! I’ve decided from now on if a season’s like, 20- to-24 episodes I’m just going to wait ‘til it’s done to review it unless I feels super passionately, so though I watched To Your Eternity (it’s good!) and MHA (eh), I’ll comment on them next time. Also, for the record, I watched the first eight eps of Joran: Princess and Snow of Blood but I dropped it because it had clearly crossed the line from entertainingly dumb to boring dumb. 

I will probably give Supercub and some other stuff a shot later, this was a stacked season! May give updates on all that later, but this is what I have for now.

ODDTAXI

Quick Summary: A mild mannered middle-aged walrus taxi driver is drawn into a case involving a missing girl, yakuza, Youtube clout-chasers, manzai comedians and idols with big secrets.

It’s rare to walk away from media and be like “that is a singular experience I will definitely never see repeated again” but ODDTAXI is definitely one of those. A tense noir thriller murder mystery starring cartoon animals that spends an entire episode detailing the one (cat)man’s very fall into darkness triggered by addiction to gacha games and an online auction for a novelty eraser? Also there’s a porcupine Yakuza who speaks entirely in rap? Also there’s tons of meandering conversations about stuff like manzai comedy and the struggle to go viral on Twitter?

Admittedly, I had a hard time getting into the first episode, the dry meandering humor not being enough to hold my attention while I was sitting still, but once I watched this while I was working out at the end of the season, I found it an easy binge. A ton of characters with dark secrets or dangerous ambitions, each with their own part to play in a tableau of intersecting events- and it all actually comes together really well.(As for the female characters, it’s a pretty dude driven story, but they do get nuanced characterization and even some good heroic moments from one of them.)

 It’s a great example of a carefully planned narrative paying off, with all the twists appropriately seeded and foreshadowed to reward viewers who paid attention. Even when it ended on a perfect “OH SHIT” moment and denied me closure, I couldn’t help but respect it. If you that all sounds interesting to you, definitely check out the first couple episodes and see if you like it- you’re likely to have a memorable, satisfying experience!

Shadows House

Quick Summary: Emilyko is a ‘living doll’ who’s told she was created to act as the ‘face’ of her shadow master, Kate. The shadows and their ‘dolls’ all reside on the mansion and are required to pass a ‘debut’ to prove they’re a good pairing. If they don’t pass, they might be disposed of. And so the mystery of the Shadow mansion grows...

This slice of gothic intrigue was my favorite of the season, tied with ODDTAXI. With an interesting premise, slightly tense undertones and a strong focus on character building and relationships, it kept me hooked the whole way through. And for any squeamish fans put off by the hype about it, don’t worry, while there are some suspenseful elements, I wouldn’t qualify it as horror. I thought the relationship between Kate and Emilyko might end up being a completely sinister one, but it’s thankfully a lot more complex than that and it’s really interesting to follow how both their characters and relationship grow. The focus of the show is, unsurprisingly, on the “dolls” slowly discovering their autonomy and personhood as they struggle under the rigid system imposed on them by the mysterious elders of this weird Victorian mansion. Can they develop a more equitable relationship with their shadow “masters” (who are also shown to suffer under this system)? There’s a lot to dig into there, and the show has the characters develop through learning to understand and appreciate each other, which is pretty heartwarming. Our hero, Emilyko, is the typical plucky ball of sunshine (they even nickname her sunshine), but she’s also shown to be clever in her own off-the-wall way and she bounces off the far more subdued and cynical Kate well, not to mention the other ‘dolls’ she ends up befriending. 

What’s more, the show spends plenty of time to developing several other character pairings and combinations, and they all have their own interesting dynamic that makes you want to see more of them. Same-gender bonds are at the forefront of this show, and many of them are ripe for queer readings (I definitely appreciated the healthy helping of ladies carrying ladies), but even outside that it’s nice to see a show where a strong, complex bond between girls is at the forefront. My only real complaints about the show are the anime original ending is noticeably a bit rushed (though it’s not too bad, and leaves room for a season 2) and I wish the animation used the whole “shadow” theme more strikingly (like the opening and endings do)- instead the colors are a bit washed out which makes the shadows blend into the background sometimes. The “debut” arc also drags a bit in places, but it makes up for it by having a lot of good character integration.

I hope to check out the (full color)! manga soon and see more of this quirky, shadowy story. There’s some physical abuse depicted, sad things happening to characters and naturally the whole “oppressive familial system” thing, but otherwise not much I can think of to warn about. I give this one a big rec, especially If you’re a fan of gothic fairytales and stories of self discovery.  

Zombie Land Saga Revenge

Quickest summary: In this sequel season, everyone’s favorite zombie idol group must claw their way back into prominence after a disastrous show- the fate of the Saga prefecture LITERALLY depends on it!

This was a fun follow-up to the first season- if you liked the first zombie-girl romp, you’ll probably enjoy this one. In fact, there were a couple areas it improved on- namely, Kotaro failed, ate crow and embarrassed himself a lot more this season, which made him more likeable (as did the fact the girls gained a lot of independence from him). This season also shed more light on what the ‘goal’ of this zombie raising project is and what kind of shit Kotaro got involved with to make this happen, and it’s appropriately off-the-wall and ridiculous. We finally got some backstory for Yugiri too! I wish it had focused on more of her interiority, but she got to be a badass in it, and it was a treat to see this zombie idol show turn into a period piece for a couple episodes (also her song ruled).

 Tae also got a cute focus episode and there was a particular SMASHING performance early on! Also That revelation last season that had the potential to turn creepy hasn’t yet, and hopefully never will. The finale was heartwarming with big hints of more drama to come- I’m definitely down for more zombie hijinks!

Vivy: Flourite Eye’s Song

Quickest Summary: A songstress AI named DIVA (nicknamed Vivy) is approached by another AI named Matsumoto, who says he’s from the future and they must work together to prevent AI exterminating all of humankind 100 years from now.

This show is absolutely gorgeous visually with some really nice action scenes, but when it comes to the story my feelings basically amount to a shrug. It’s fine! I guess! Vivy starts out as an interesting layered character- and I guess still is by the end- with her stoic but stubborn determination bouncing off her fast-talking bossy partner Matsumoto well. She never listens to him, which is delightful. The way the show took place over the course of 100 years was an interesting conceit as well. However, it bought up a lot of themes and then sort of... dropped them. For instance, Vivy interprets her mission (PRIME DIRECTIVE if you will) as protecting humans at all costs, no matter how destructive said humans are or what their fate is supposed to be, and is perfectly willing to murder her fellow androids to do this, showing she inherently thinks of androids (herself and her own people!) as less worthy. Which is a little alarming! There’s a very dramatic point in the show where they bring this up as a potential conflict for her character but then it’s sort of...dropped. Pretty much.

Actually, despite the premise, the show doesn’t dip into the “AI rights” as much as you think it would with the main theme being more about Vivy’s search to find her own creativity and discover what it means to ‘pour your heart into something’. Vivy herself doesn’t actually care if she has rights or anything. Which is in some ways fine, because ‘AI as an oppressed class’ has been done to death, but IT’S ALSO KIND OF IN THE PREMISE, so that means that the show just shrugs really hard at a lot of the questions it brings up  basically just going “humans and AI should work together probably” and that’s it. There’s a lot that feels underexplored. The antagonists in the show also either have motivations that don’t really make sense or have boring hackneyed motivations. In the finale in particular, it feels like a lot of things happen “just because” and it falls a little flat.

I also have to warn that one of the arcs focus on a robot ‘pairing’ where the dude-coded robots actions toward his partner are straight up awful and rob her of her autonomy, but it’s played like a tragic love story. I suppose you could read it differently too, but it definitely made me go ‘ew’ the story seemed to want me to sympathize with this robo dude,

Overall, I wouldn’t anti-recommend this show, it’s an all right little sci-fic romp (and definitely SUPER pretty). My favorite element was definitely the episodes where Vivy develops an entirely new (an loveable) personality, because it played with the idea of of an AI getting “rebooted” really well and interplay between her two “selves” was done really well. But there are a lot of other parts of the show that just feel...a little underexplored and empty, making me have an ‘eh’ feeling on the show overall. It’s definitely an ambitious project, and while it didn’t quite stick the landing, there’s something to be said for a show that shoots for the stars and falls short over a show that just languishes in mediocrity.

Fruits Basket The Final

Quick summary: The final season of that dramatic drama about that weird family with a zodiac curse and the girl who loves them.

It’s very weird that after not cutting a lot out, they kinda sped through some material for, you know, the finale. I guess they thought they couldn’t stretch this final arc to 26 episodes? Or weren’t cleared for another double cour? However, though there were a couple places that felt awkward, despite being a bit condensed it mostly held together pretty well for a D R A M A T I C and ultimately heartwarming conclusion. I was really disappointed they kept the part where Ritsu cut their hair for the ‘happy ending’, I thought  their intro episode not showing them in men’s clothes meant the anime had decided their presentation didn’t need to be “fixed” but WELL I GUESS NOT. That was the only big upset for me though, otherwise the adaptation went about how I expected, sticking to the source material. Furuba has a lot of bumps, from weird age gap stuff to ...gender, but it also has a lot of important feels and great character arcs. It was a gateway shoujo for many and has its important place in animanga history, so I’m glad it finally got a shiny, full adaptation.

[jonah-aesthetic]

Jingle Bells I Daniel Seavey

Daniel X Reader 

Plot:  Your best friend since childhood takes you on a sleigh ride. one you’ve only mentioned once to him. With the entire Christmas vibe he brings to life it’s hard for you to keep your feelings at bay for him.

Word count: 2.9k

Author’s Note: unedited I feel like this piece flopped for me. I didn’t want it too long, but it also dragged on a little. Yet I didn’t think I put enough detail in this one. 

Rating: 16+ (I’m 20 so I’d like my readers to be some what around there.)

MoodBoard

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Your vision was blocked by a folded bandanna tied around your head with a secured knot or two. Hand tightly locked with Daniel’s, feeling his thumb rub a top yours for comfort. Snow crunched under your Dr. Martens with ease, slightly soft from the snow fall a few days prior. Slow steps as He guided you keeping your location a surprise.

 Your senses felt heightened with your eyes looking into the dark oblivion. The vague bitter smell of horse manure and the rather oddly pleasant hay scent Reached your nose. You wouldn’t have noticed it before, almost feeling like a damn blood hound. Yet it gave a hint on where he was taking you. 

Two hours previous he woke you up, you’re nothing close to a morning person. So you cussed his ass out of your apartment so you could enjoy the fantasy dreams about him. Ones you could never endure in reality, Daniel’s your best friend who you were insufferably in love with. 

Yet he came again, using the spare you forgot you gave him. But this time he came bearing an Eggnog Latte and gingerbread cookie. Slaying the ferocious dragon into silence, the way he always knew how.  The caffeine and baked good keeping you at bay as he told you he at the day planned for the both of you. Although it was a surprise, all he said was dress appropriate for the chilly winter weather and grab a blanket. 

Analyzing everything in your head for a quick second. You realized he was bringing you on that sleigh ride you mentioned once before. Thinking it’d be fun to do during the winter months, you didn’t think he’d actually book an entire day for it. Making it a big thing, you wish he didn’t. Cause it only made butterflies flutter, tempting you to wreck your friendship. 

“Watch your step..” Daniel’s voice is more projected against the snow over ground. Heart slamming upon your rib cage and you swear you can hear it.

“Actually just bend your knees, It’s a stairwell and I’d rather not risk you eating shit. Or breaking a nose in the winter.” At his words you probably figured they were slippery or he didn’t trust you not to slip, you were no doubt clumsy as Bambi, and the man knew it. 

Bending your knees a little, which you curious on why he asked you in the first place. Yet you trusted him with your life, there’s no going back on years of friendship now Seavey. his arms scooped you under your legs and against your back. Bringing you closer to his chest, the motion fast and unexpected as you let of a small whimper. Daniel groaned as he hopped getting a more sturdy hold on you. 

“God you’re heavy.” He breathes, the air from his lungs hitting your cheeks. 

“Then put me down Asshole.” You scold him, slapping his chest, feeling a deep chuckle rumble within. 

“I was joking, you’re not heavy, you’re fine. It was a bad joke anyways. Now hold on I might drop you.” 

“Daniel That’ll be the last thing you’ll do before you end up in hell.” You threaten playfully. You instantly wrapped your arms around his neck after feeling him climb up the stairs. It was a small rocking motion almost like you were on a ride especially with the blindfold on. 

“Was that a death threat?” 

“If you drop me, yes, yes it is.” 

Gasping you felt Daniel fake drop you, it was a slower motion that you thought it would be to actually drop you. Nonetheless it still scared you, clawing on tighter to him. Whitening your knuckles as angry wasps scattered in your stomach. 

“I hate you, I hate you, I have you Seavey.” You yelled still preparing for the fall the would never come. 

Again you could feel the glorious deep chuckle of his erupt from his chest. Vibrating against you, turning angry wasps into love-sick butterflies. “We’re hear anyways.” 

“Than you can put me down and take this damn blindfold off.” You speak trying to reach for it. Daniel’s hand caught your wrist like a reflex. “Not yet, just a few more minutes.”

Opening a door and being engulfed my warmed, you shivered from the drastic temperature change. Bells rang above warning the receptionist that customers have arrived. It was around an hour, or what felt like an hour to you later. Of going over everything for the surprise, from the time to the pricing. Which you weren’t to happy about, yet after all of it nobody confirmed your theory. You knew what it was, but you wanted it to be heard. Though nothing about it was said. 

Nada. Zilp. Zitch. Nothing. Not even a damn crumb. 

Going from warm to cold wasn't as drastic of a change. Daniel still held you bridal style, scared you eat shit. Which you most likely would have, if he let you climb down the steps. You felt very natural in his arms anyways, like to pieces of a puzzle. 

Daniel began to lower you softly letting you go before your feet were on the ground again. Silently thanking him for being on your two feet again. His presence coming behind you, raising his fingers to the knots and began to pick at them. 

“Are you ready?” 

Yes I’ve been waiting all damn day for this. Take it off Seavey.” Hearing him chuckle behind a smile spread across your face. Feeling the bandanna drop, hands flying to your mouth as you gasped. You knew it, yet you were still shocked by the sight of it. 

In front of you was bright red sleigh with gold detailing all around it. Had a massive resemblance to the famous Santa Klaus one. instead of nine reindeer, a beautiful black Clydesdale stood in their place.  On of the bands resting upon his butt had a line of huge bells. Ringing every time he moved, bringing the whole Christmas vibe alive. 

whirling around gazing at him a gentle smile rested on his lips. His blonde hair half tucked under a black beaning. Light stubble dancing along his jaw, making him look older. His icy blue eyes watching you, fighting the urge to tell him you wanted him. Maybe he knew it already, that’s why he took you here, and maybe he didn’t.

“You didn’t have to.” You said shaking your head, 

“I know, I wanted to, I had the money for it.” He shrugged stuffing his hands into his pockets. Why couldn’t Daniel be less attractive! it wasn’t fair. perfect silence emerged over both of you, genuine smiles with adoration for one another hidden behind your eyes. 

“If you Two love birds are ready, I love to show you what this gorgeous winter has to offer.” The Driver spoke, sitting upon the front seat that was two or three feet higher then the main seats in the center of the sleigh. 

With giddy giggles Daniel escorted you towards it, his hand resting on the smallest part of your back. Maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you, but you swear you could’ve felt his hand reach and squeeze your hip. 

Sitting down it was a tight and cozy fit, the bench and the back rest was cushioned with a black leather material. Smooth to the touch and soft as ever, with a clicker of the chauffeur’s tongue, the sleigh bolted to life, cause you and Daniel to fall back into each other. Soon enough the jingle bells rhythm came into ear shot. Making this whole experience feel like you woke up in a fucking Christmas. Unbelievable real.

“Are you okay?” Daniel’s laugh fans your cheeks as he helps you to sit up right. 

“Never better.” You say with an undying happiness you possessed inside. Not feeling the way the cold nipped at your nose making you look like and off brand Rudolph. 

“Here.” He speaks as you watch him unfold a black blanket, a little dumbfound, the thing was massive and surprised you hadn't noticed it before. Handing you one of the corners of the blanket, and instantly wrapped it around you as Daniel did the same. Pulling you two closer together, trying to engulf your body in it as much as you. 

“Thanks” you whisper under your breathe, watching it form into an icy cloud. Glancing at the gold letters embroidered into the corner of the blanket tight. it was a gift from Daniel’s mother giving to you on the day you both graduated. Remembering the words she said to you like it was yesterday. 

“You know I wasn't to ecstatic about new neighbors moving in. But as soon as I saw this sweet little girl playing with my boy. I was glad that your parents’ pick the that house. I Watched you two laughing and giggling in the yards, I just knew you two would be in separable. It’s a shame that boy of mind doesn't see the love that you have for him...”

It shocked you to know that she knew that you were in love with him. You covered your tracks pretty well back then. Controlling yourself around him was child’s play compared to now. She never interfered with the way you felt about him, You were grateful at the time. Now not so much, but it could’ve wrecked the friendship you had-

“Y/N look.” Daniel’s voice cut your thoughts short, His attention of the right. You follow his gaze, spotting nine caribou in scattered in the woods. Or rather nine reindeer, you guessed they weren’t replaced after all. You could feel the sleigh come to a gentle stop, the jingle bells’ song vanished into the air. 

“Oh shit! Reindeer.” No filter with pure shock, 

Curiously watching them from a far, you admired each and every one. Noticing a chunky bell lacing around their necks, like they were Santa's famous reindeer's’ out of the movies. 

“And watch this.” He speaks glancing up at the driver, as if on cue he places his fingers in mouth and releases a high pitch whistle. “Keep an eye out for him,” 

“Keep an out of who?-” 

A  reindeer further into the forest walks towards us, elegant and gentle. Stalking through the snow as if he held pride, significantly larger than all the other reindeer, he must of been the alpha, the leader. 

Amazed at the whole thing you couldn't think of words to say and if you manged something. It’d definitely come out as word vomit. Reaching closer and closer to the sleigh you could her the bell jingle against his chest. Black scribble appeared on the red ribbon clasped around his neck. Soon being able to read the name ‘Rudolph’  on both side on his throat. 

“Isn’t he beautiful?” Daniel asks looking back at you expecting you to say words you couldn’t fathom at the moment. You gulped and nodded your head vigorously. He was more then beautiful he was stunningly gorgeous and massive. You’ve never seen a wild animal in person not to mention this close to one. 

Daniel held a chuckle at your reaction to this entire encounter with Rudolph. Finding your dumbfound shock, adorably cute. In moments like these he dreaded the knowledge of being your best friend and not your boyfriend. Where he could just grab the back of your neck and smash his lips hungrily to yours. 

The adrenaline high was retreating in your veins, causing your mind to process again. The cage of anxiety breaking open as the glance of Daniel’s ocean eyes calmed you down.  

He’s fucking perfect. Look at those dopy eyes, various shades of blues swirled inside them. causing your heart to melt into the bottom of your stomach. All thoughts of common sense started to leave, glancing at his lips. looking pink and soft as ever, god they must taste like heaven, or at least the closest thing to it. 

Best friend. Best friend. Best friend. 

Looking forward you could’ve swore you breathed the same air as Rudolph. Still he was more beautiful up close. White creamy chest that reached to his legs, chocolate brown body. adorable nose that had the softest resemblance to a cow. Antlers sprouting from a top his head, developing towards the sky. A small white box was tethered to his left antler by a black ribbon. Throwing your best friend a suspicious glance, he nodded letting you reach for it.

Clasping the velvet box in your hand, feeling your heart pound repeatedly. Breath caught, anxious of what’s in the box. Feeling your gut tell you this was it and whatever this box contained was going to change everything. Distracting yourself you focused on Rudolph, seeing the way he looked at you. As if he knew what it was somehow. 

taking your glove off with your teeth you reached for him, pausing three inches before his nose. If you learned anything from Draco’s encounter with Buckbeck, was to be patient and let the animal come to you. Although at the end of the day it was just a fucking movie. 

Warmth exploded from your palm to your elbow, smiling you trailed your hand to rest under his chin. His fur softer than you were expecting it to be, yet you didn’t know what you were expecting. “Thank you Rudolph.” You whisper to him soon retracting your hand. Backing away he retreated to his herd, quite as if the encounter with him never happened.

Taking up your spot next to Daniel you glance up at him, “What is this?” You asked breathlessly. 

“Open it.” He says, voice a tremble and couldn’t help but think that he knows. Was this what a best friend break up was like? Staring at it you forced the top open, but you let it go. Snapping shut without a glimpse. You shake your head, gulping feeling the bile rise. “I can’t Daniel” 

His hand comes into view, twice the size of yours. Veins scattered along his knuckles, red from the cold. Taking the box from you grip you stared at your fingers, missing the feeling of his hands on yours. 

“I’m in love with you.” He blurts in out like it was nothing new to you. Your head whipped so fast you got dizzy. His eyes were genuine, you always knew he was lying. The way he would glance up and down then to side. Tongue poking out with a fiddling of handing, but he didn’t show any signs. He was a good actor though. 

“She told you.” You accuses like a defensive mechanism. You guessed Keri thought you moved on with your feelings for Daniel. There was no other reason you could think  of. 

“She did.’ He confirms, Nodding his head. Was this was this a joke to him? Cause it wasn’t fucking funny. You shook your head feeling the fire burning in your blood. 

‘I can’t do this.” You speak, removing yourself from the seat and jumping out of the sleigh. Starting to head back in the direction you think the farm was located. The cold weather bite at your body, but you hugged yourself too furious to care. 

“Y/N!” 

“Leave me alone Daniel.” You could here him chase after you, with the ay he was breathing. 

“Mom told me you wouldn’t believe me.” His voice getting louder. 

“Maybe you should’ve kept it to yourself Seavey, better yet you should’ve let me sleep in.” You were hurt, and you didn’t know how to comprehend any of this. 

“I love when you talk about things you’re passionate about. Like the colors on your paint palette, how you mixed blue and purple for the perfect shade of magenta.” 

That was two months ago and you remembered the excitement you felt. After hours of mixing you finally made the exact shade you wanted. Daniel was the first one you came to, as he was at your apartment. 

“Daniel stop.” using his name the way you were was like a sting each time. 

“Or the time you hit that sparrow, you pulled over as so soon as you felt the bird hit the grill. You dug him a grave with a used spoon in the truck of my car. Gave him a funeral and forced me to speak at it like it was lost friend. It was the day I finally realized I love you with every fiber of my being.” You could hear the strain in his voice. 

That happened two fucking years ago. 

“It’s not fair.” You speak stopping in your tracks, a good distance away from the sleigh. Feeling his presence behind you, you let him reach out for you. His hand turning you to face him yet you faced the ground feeling like you lost a damn war, defeated and drained. 

“I know it’s not and I’m so incredibly sorry.” He sounded like he was begging for you. 

“Okay.”  you didn't know exactly what it was for, but you felt like it was needed. 

His hand came to rest on your cheek wiping a tear you didn’t know slip. His touch delicate against your face, tilting your head up he caught your lips against his. His lips were soft as you fell into sync. Tasting like cinnamon and peppermint. Pulling him closer you lost yourself within him, the feel, the smell, and the touch of him. 

Kissing him was like finally finding the last piece of your puzzle, the way both of you fit perfectly together amazed you. He tasted like heaven and heaven tasted like home. 

---------------------------------------------

Felt like I could’ve added more, but its already long.

I hope you enjoyed this piece.

Also if ya made it to the end comment which Why Don’t We guy I should do next. 

[tonymystarks]

The Bleak Midwinter

this was inspired by @betheflame flame fic ‘No More Flights, Sir’ but I made it fluffy because I am incapable of writing anything other than fluff unfortunately. When I say fluffy, I mean it. Like bordering hallmark fluff levels. Anyway, enjoy!

*

Bucky watched the snow whip passed the window.

He knew that it could get this bad, but he was hoping that it didn’t. He was hoping that it would hold out long enough for him to get out of here. 

He just wanted to go home, and the flight wasn’t even that long. Flying from Chicago to New York was only 2 hours. He was supposed to be home already, but instead, he had been stuck in the airport for going on 6 hours now. He really wanted to be home.

The snowstorm continued to rage outside, despite Bucky’s wishes. It was one of the worst ones the city had seen in years, and the airport wasn’t expecting them to be able to go anywhere anytime soon. 

He sighed and moved to sit down, unsure of what his next move should be. Logically he knew that he should go get a hotel before they were all full within a 20-mile radius, but that meant giving up hope, and that was something that he sorely did not want to do.

He was supposed to be home, it was so important that he got home, but he thought that must be how everyone in the airport felt right now. They all had somewhere to be, and they were all stuck here together.

He got up to walk over to the service desk. The line was thankfully not too long, first-class having its perks. While he was standing in line, his phone buzzed in his pocket.

Any updates? The text read. 

Not any good ones. I think I might be here for a while, Bucky texted back, frowning at the message he wished he didn’t have to send.

That’s ok was all that he got back, and that wasn’t good. That was a bad reaction because they both knew that it wasn’t ok.

Bucky tucked his phone back into his pocket as he got to the front of the line, and the woman working asked how she could help him.

“Yes, hi, I was wondering if you would be able to help me book a hotel room. Any hotel room around here will do.” Buck spoke, silently hoping that one thing would go right for him today. 

“I’m so sorry, Sir, but with the storm, all the hotels close by booked up very quickly. I can see about putting you done on a notification list to let you know if something comes available.” 

Bucky was just about to agree when he heard a voice behind him speak-

“Hi there, I’m sure you have something ready, don’t you. Price is no object.” Bucky turned towards the voice that he knew so well, the voice that he had just been texting, and felt his breath catch in his throat. 

“Oh- Mr. Stark. Right, do you know this gentleman?” The woman stuttered, obviously quite flustered by the sudden appearance of the famous Tony Stark. 

“Well, of course. This is my husband.” Tony said, moving up to slot himself next to Bucky, who felt so much relief at seeing the man and just as much confusion as to why he was here. 

“Right, of course. Well, it looks as if the presidential suite at the Waldorf is available.” 

“Perfect! We will take it. Reserve it for us and let their reception know we are on our way,” Tony spilled a hundred dollar bill towards the women as he spoke. 

“Right away, Mr. Stark!” and she began rapidly type away as Tony grabbed Bucky’s hand and pulled him out.

Bucky made sure to grab his suitcase with his other hand as he was dragged through the crowded terminal. Once Bucky saw an empty nook, he used his strength to his advantage to redirect Tony towards it and corner him. Busy pushed him up against the wall and ran his hands over his face, just to confirm that he was real, that he was there.

“Not that I’m not thrilled to see you, Doll, but what are ya’ doing here.” Bucky pulled Tony into a hug, trying to breathe in his scent that hadn’t been tainted by airport air; the smell of coffee, metal, and something sweet. 

“Well, like I have told you before, one of the perks of being married to a billionaire is access to his collection of private aircrafts. Any one of which you could have used, and we wouldn’t be stuck in this debacle, and we are stuck. I was able to make it out of New York, but the storm is so much worse now, and we won’t be able to get off the ground now.” Tony said as he let himself be held by Bucky, wrapping his arms around his waist.

“And like I’ve told you before, I like the sense of normalcy that flying commercial me. I wasn’t always married to a billionaire.” Bucky laughed as Tony looked slightly upset.

“I know, and that is a tragedy. Good thing we remedy that situation.” Tony sounded so stern as he spoke, but Bucky could see the mirth behind his eyes. 

“Me too, sweetheart. Me too,” and Bucky leaned in to give Tony a quick kiss, ignoring the whine that Tony produces when he pulls away. “None of that, Babydoll, we ain’t making out in the airport. Not when we got a nice hotel room waiting for us, and we got a long trek ahead of us to get there.” 

“I know, but I just missed you so much,” the whine is Tony’s voice still present.

“It has only been, what, 6 days?” Bucky laughed.

“Yes! And that is 5 days too many.” Tony moved them back into the ever-crowded walkway and began walking to the main doors.

“I know, Baby,  I missed ya’ too, so much,” Bucky said as sincerely as he could. 

He smiled as he watched a light blush dust Tony’s cheeks. They had been together for 3 years and married for almost a year of that, and he knew he would never get tired of saying things to make Tony blush.

They made it to the doors to wait for the driver that Tony had contacted. The snow was coming down in what looked like heavy sheets, so they knew that they would have to wait for a break in the storm before any cars would be allowed to come and get them. They didn’t mind too much; they found a couch tucked away in the corner, facing some windows and curled up together, just waiting. 

“You know, you didn’t have to come,” Bucky said loud enough to be heard over the ambient noises of the airport but quiet enough that it was just for Tony.

“I know, but there was no way I was going to let my husband spend Christmas eve alone. What kind of person would I be? I couldn’t live with myself. The guilt would drive me wild,” Tony curled into him closer, tucking his feet under himself and wrapping his arm around Bucky’s mid-section.

“I’m sure that you would’ve been fine. Now we both have to suffer in this airport,” but Bucky didn’t really feel bad, happy to have the person he wanted most in the world there with him.

“I’d rather suffer here with you than be apart. We might not be able to be with the rest of the rag-tag group of misfits we call a family, but I wasn’t going to spend our first married Christmas apart. We will be together and in love, even if it is in an airport.” Bucky felt his face grow hot and his eyes well up. 

They had both been through so much in their lives, so much that should have left them beyond broken, but they worked so well together. Tony brought him back from the edge; they kept each other level in a way that one else was able to. They saw each other's scars and broken pieces and loved those pieces, just like any other part of each other. 

“Thank you,” Bucky whispered, pulling Tony impossibly closer.

“Anytime, anywhere,” and Bucky knew that was true.

With Tony tucked in next to him, the snow didn’t seem that bad. He didn’t get home, not when it came to him.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Victor's Warm Date (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

Acquaintance Collection: Gavin // Kiro // Lucien

The date begins with a heavy snowfall. MC has gone out of town with Victor as representatives of LFG for an exchange program. Goldman was supposed to accompany Victor, but something cropped up so MC replaced him as Victor’s assistant.

Due to the heavy snowfall, traffic is stuck, and they are unable to travel as their designated driver hasn’t arrived. As MC waits outside and pulls her jacket tighter over herself, she hears a voice:

Victor: You’re standing in front of the tuyere. Are you trying to block the wind?

Hearing this merciless comment, I turn around to see Victor standing behind me. He furrows his eyebrows, as though unable to comprehend my actions.

MC: I’m your assistant today, and the assistant should take the lead.

Victor: Who told you that?

MC: Goldman!

I “betray” Goldman without hesitation, but tag on an explanation.

MC: I just wanted to see when the driver would arrive.

Victor pauses and rubs his eyebrows a little tiredly.

Victor: Is your phone a mere decoration? Don’t stand at the door in such a silly manner.

After saying this, he turns to walk to the resting area at the side of the hall. With a sound of agreement, I follow after him.

The warm wind from the rest area heater causes me to release a huge sigh. I take out my phone and call the driver. After a long wait, the call finally gets through—

After hearing the driver frantically explaining the situation, I unconsciously raise my volume.

MC: What? The road leading to this place is blocked? All right, I’ve got it. I’ll ask…

Holding the phone, I turn to Victor and shoot him a questioning look.

Standing at the window, Victor gazes at the continuously pelting snow, confirms our location, and responds.

Victor: Tell him to stop at the side of the main road. We’ll walk there.

I didn’t think he would choose such a method. After pausing for a few seconds, I pass Victor’s message to the driver.

After hanging up, I look at Victor hesitantly. He notices that I’m not very sure of what to say.

Victor: If you have something to say, say it directly.

MC: The snowfall is so heavy. Are we really going to walk there?

From the glass window of the big hall, I can almost feel the biting cold entering my bones.

Victor: Or are you prepared to spend the night here? That place isn’t far from here. It’s faster to walk over than wait for traffic to return to normal.

MC: Even though time is money, but…

I look at the snow outside, still uncertain if we should wait for the snow to stop.

Victor: If we keep waiting, a certain dummy will catch a cold and consider it a work injury.

He sweeps a glance over to me, and I put down the hands that had been wrapped around my neck in a bid to keep myself warm. Just as I try to explain myself, I let out an uncontrolled, violent sneeze.

MC: Achoo!

Victor steps back, looking disgusted beyond words. There is an obvious “told you so” in his eyes.

I rub the bridge of my nose in embarrassment, and say in a small voice:

MC: It’s not that cold…

Pretending he didn’t hear me, Victor continues.

Victor: Go back quickly so you can make it for dinner, or you might think LFG treats its employees harshly again.

He hands me an umbrella.

Victor: Let’s go.

Without waiting for my response, Victor has already stepped out of the doors, his profile instantly swallowed up by the wind and snow.

MC: Wait for me-

This guy! Always so arrogant and authoritative!

I feel slightly sullen.

Watching his retreating form, I can only grit my teeth and follow after him.

~

The weather outside has become extremely vicious. MC struggles to keep up while Victor remains in front of her:

MC: Ah!

Suddenly, I hear a snapping sound, and the umbrella in my hand bends backwards with the wind, and even pushes me backwards by several steps. In the midst of my panic, a large hand pulls onto my wrist in the nick of time.

Victor: Keep the umbrella.

I keep the umbrella clumsily. Only then does Victor loosen his grip on my wrist. At that moment, countless snowflakes uninhibitedly cover the top of our heads and bodies. The warmth breaths that are released from our mouths are instantly blown away by the wind.

Watching the snowfall get increasingly heavier, Victor furrows his eyebrows. There seems to be snow on his eyelashes.  

Victor: Later, walk behind me.

MC: C-could it be… that you plan to block the wind and snow for me?

I lift my eyes to look at him, and my teeth start chattering from the cold.

Victor frowns, sighing in resignation.

Victor: Bringing you here is really bringing along trouble.

Before I can retort, a thick and heavy piece of clothing covers me.

The residual body warmth and scent causes me to react immediately – this is Victor’s coat.

MC: No need, you’ll catch a chill like this…

Before I can complete my sentence, a gust of strong wind sweeps over the coat and it almost gets blown away. I immediately reach out to grab onto it, and then hug it to my chest.

MC: That was close!

Victor: Are you a dummy?

A trace of frustration crosses Victor’s face. His patience has reached its limits. He pulls the coat out of my arms and places it over my head, covering my body.

The cold wind and light from the outside are blocked out. Victor’s breath surrounds me, leaving me feeling slightly dazed. I tried leaving a little opening, but Victor presses down on it. My entire person seems to be wrapped in his coat.

Victor: Don’t fidget.

MC: I can’t see anything like this!

Victor: You can hold onto me.

His tone leaves no room for debate. After hesitating for a moment, and with the remaining little view I have, I reach out to grab Victor’s clothes.

Victor: Hold tight. Let’s walk over there quickly.

Although he says we have to walk quickly, he slows down so I can follow his pace with ease. All the surrounding noises seem to have been blocked by Victor. I hide in his coat, as though in a refuge centre in the middle of a snow storm.

The residual body warmth of the coat is so different from his cold exterior.

These few hundred metres are especially difficult to walk through, and yet the entire experience seems to have passed by in the blink of an eye.

It is only when I sit in the warm car that I feel alive again.

I hug Victor’s coat, peering into the rearview mirror to look at the man sitting in the back seat.

Victor is currently taking a call. The lights outside the car window are cast on his side profile. The distinct lights and shadows mark out every line of his sharp features.

Victor: The new proposal requires some improvement…

Although his tone is one that I’m familiar with, I suddenly feel like he doesn’t seem as unreasonable as he used to be.

After returning to the hotel room, my tasks for the day are finally done. I change out of my clothes which have been drenched from the snow, and hum a tune while packing materials from the meeting. I discover that I’ve left a document behind.

MC: Oh no, I forgot to pass this report to Victor! He’s going to criticize me for being careless again.

I put on a bitter expression and open the door to my room. After mentally preparing myself, I knock on Victor’s door, which is opposite mine.

After a long minute, Victor still hasn’t answered the door.

While hesitating whether I should knock again, the door in front of me suddenly opens. I see Victor in a fresh set of clothes, frowning as he looks at my hand, which is lifted in mid-air.

Victor: What is it?

Looking at the Victor before me, I forget what I wanted to say.

His hair is slightly messy. He has yet to fully button up his shirt, revealing a small patch of skin.

After several seconds of stunned silence, my heart rate starts to accelerate as I avert my eyes.

MC: I forgot to pass you a document just now.

Making no mention of my earlier daze, Victor takes the file in my hand and flips through a few pages.

Victor: You can wait inside. I’ll be done with it soon.

He sits next to the desk in the living room, seriously poring through the documents. He taps the table gently.

I sit on the sofa while waiting. The heater in the room is not warm enough, and the sudden drop in temperature causes the cold to creep up by back slowly.

MC: Achoo!

My violent sneeze causes Victor to lift his head from the documents. Meeting his questioning gaze, I rub my head in embarrassment.

MC: It’s a little cold.

Victor: You’re wearing so little. I even thought you weren’t afraid of the cold.

He sweeps his gaze over my sweater, then stands up to pour me a cup of tea. He places it in front of me.

Victor: Finish this, then go back to your room.

The steaming hot tea looks incredibly tempting at this moment. I take a sip obediently, feeling the warm tea gradually warm my insides.

To think that even Victor can be so considerate…

My gaze settles on Victor. Looking at his rather thin shirt, I think of the coat that he has sent for cleaning.

Compared to me, he is the one who takes less care of himself…

With this thought in mind, I have an idea.

MC: Victor, wait for a while. I’ll be back soon!

Without waiting for his response, I hurriedly run back to my own room and fish out a small blanket from my luggage. I run back to Victor’s room.

Victor: You went to get this?

Victor looks at the blanket in my hands, which has an image of a childish bunny on it. The look of distaste in his eyes is almost overflowing.

MC: Yup, I’ll let you use it first.

Victor: I don’t need it.

MC: But the temperature is so low now. What if you catch a cold?

Victor: Do you think I’m you?

I pause for a second, recalling what he said about how “only dummies catch colds”.

MC: If you catch a cold, are you going to admit that you’re a dummy?

Hearing this remark, Victor arches his eyebrows as he looks at me, as though surprised by my boldness.

MC: Right now, I’m your “assistant”, so I need to take note of your clothes, food, housing, and transportation. If you catch a cold, it would be a dereliction of my duty. In order to prevent my holes in my work, please set aside your condescension and use this blanket!

I sneak a peek at Victor’s expression after making my speech. The frown in his eyes has dissipated, and he doesn’t seem as opposed to the idea as before.

Victor: You have a lot of odd logic.

MC: Since you have no objections, I’ll take it as an agreement!

Fuelled with boldness, I stand on my tiptoes and drape the blanket over his shoulders while his guard is down.

Victor’s body stiffens before he grabs hold of my wrist in a reflex action. As he did not control his strength, I am pulled onto his chest. Panicking, I lift my head and our eyes meet.

Under the lights, his eyes appear exceptionally bright. I can even see my own reflection in them.

My heart beat accelerates in an instant, and becomes even more frenzied, unable to find its original rhythm.

Victor reacts first. He releases his hold on me, his face darkening.

Victor: You are very bold.

His voice is low, and I take a step back instinctively. I summon my courage and meet his eyes.

MC: Didn’t you already know this from early on? CEO Victor.

Victor looks at me, his black eyes holding within them a limitless depth, making me want to hide. Following this, he lets out a light laugh.

Victor: How much longer are you going to play the role of an assistant?

MC: If you continue wearing the blanket, it will end.

Afraid that he would reject, I hurriedly emphasise.

MC: You already agreed just now!

Victor’s eyebrows lift, his expression unsure.

Seeing that he had no retort, I secretly do a pose of triumph and hold up the cup of tea that Victor had personally poured for me.

Victor leans against the window, his face still written with distaste, but he does not attempt to remove that childish-looking blanket.

He brings the red cup to his lips and gently blows on it.

The warm light encases him, softening the aura surrounding him. His outline also appears gentler. He doesn’t look as impossible to get close to.

My eyes land on Victor, but he doesn’t seem to notice.

He puts down the cup in his hands, lowering his eyes, as though deep in thought.

This is a Victor I have never seen before…

In this moment, he seems to have put down his stubbornness and distant aura - becoming someone within reach. Only now does Victor finally feel my gaze. He raises his head to look at me.

Victor: What are you looking at?

MC: At you… the snowy scenery outside the window!

Just in time, I swallow the words that I was about to blurt out, but it seems he has already heard them.

He lets out a low chuckle, the corner of his lips revealing a very slight smile.

Victor: Considering how seriously you’re looking at it, you must really like this snowy scene.

MC: Mm.

I can’t help but let out a small sound of agreement. The snow outside the window falls continuously, dyed by the warmth of the light.

Outside, the wintry wind blows on. But at this moment, the room is very warm.

[astraeagreengrass]

Delicate

Steve has an important question to ask you

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Word Count: 2.051

Warnings: Idiots in love, fluff

A/N: I couldn't let this month end without submitting something for 30 Days of Chris, a wonderful initiative by @jtargaryen18​ to celebrate Chris Evans and his characters. This was proof-read by @xbuchananbarnes​. The title and inspiration came from Taylor Swift's Delicate. I hope you like it ♡

Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head? 'Cause I know that it's delicate (Delicate) Is it cool that I said all that? Is it too soon to do this yet? 'Cause I know that it's delicate Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?

Thunder clapped in deafening noise, briefly drowning out the relentless honking of cars stranded on 6th Avenue.

Storms weren't that unusual for New York City, but you always felt like they didn't belong - as if even Mother Nature's mood swings couldn't compare to the might of the concrete jungle, with it’s skyscrapers reaching as high as the sky itself. The city was a man-made wonder, cemented with defiance instead of concrete. It was the perfect place for a superhero to call home.

And his home was too far from yours, literally and figuratively. Still, Steve Rogers was nothing if not worth the effort of bracing the traffic from Brooklyn to Manhattan during rush hour on a rainy Friday evening.

You’d taken the day off work to get dolled up at your cousin's salon. Tried on different updos, changed your nail color twice and your lipstick shade thrice. Spent the savings you didn't really have on a dress you couldn't really afford and got blisters on your feet from practicing walking with stilettos. Going to a Stark Foundation gala was not a typical night in your life, even if you were maybe, sort of, dating Captain America.

It was a grey zone, the same shade as the heavy clouds that overcast the days you spent apart. Steve was spring; he was the early morning sun and fresh flowers blooming. A a week without him and the city - hostile and relentless and screaming his name at every corner - darkened.

You’d gone longer without seeing him, of course, but that was before he flooded your veins with golden infatuation. Steve Rogers was in your blood now and you didn’t even notice how he got there. Was it in late January, having coffee together after months of running the same trail? Or possibly in early March when you walked the Brooklyn bridge at night, just you, him and the specks of snow lazily trickling down from the heavens as Steve kissed you for the first time? Perhaps it was yesterday when his throathy, tired voice whispered through the phone: "I miss you".

You hadn't talked about it, whatever it was. You'd run together everyday, eat pizza at tiny hole-in-the-wall restaurants and kiss - soft pecks and gentle brushes to his nose and cheeks that'd turn into a tug of your bottom lip and a swipe of his tongue - but you weren't his girlfriend. He hadn't asked you to be. And maybe if he was any other guy you wouldn't have such anxiety over not knowing, but Steve was old fashioned.

The fragility of you and him was haunting. If Steve was spring then you were autumn, falling apart for him little by little, like brown leaves disentangling from their trees. It was terrifying to now know if he would be there to catch you before you hit the ground.

And yet, hope lingered. It lived in the scratch on fingertips as you paid the taxi driver and in the stray raindrops that wet your skin ahead of the doorman coming to your rescue with an umbrella. It trickled from your words as you gave your name to the hostess and swooshed the air around the skirt of your dress as you entered the main part of the building.

Hope was a tall, blond-haired man waiting for you on the top floor, the first person you saw when the doors open and you exited the elevator. Steve's handsome face breaks into a relieved smile, tugging at every one of your heartstrings. With one, two, three strides he has in you in his arms.

"Hi," he breathes out in your hair. "Thank you for being here."

"Of course," you whisper back, because there's honestly nowhere else you'd rather be.

Steve is sure his bones have dissolved, and the only thing keeping him standing is the press of your body against his. He feels frail, weak as he was before Erskine's serum; he feels strong, stronger than science could ever make him. He dies a thousand deaths and comes alive a million times in the brief, yet infinite moments of your hug.

"I love you," he almost screamed to the crook of your neck, holding it back at the last second.

Tony’s warned rung in his mind:

"Things are more casual these days, Capsicle," he’d explained one morning over breakfast. "You don't really ask if she wants to be your girlfriend. It happens naturally."

But Steve wanted to ask. He wanted to meet your parents and stress over making a good impression. He wanted to court you. He wanted to introduce you to every single person in this lousy party as his girl.

A throat being cleared broke you apart. A pretty redhead woman stands a few feet away, hands clasped behind her back and a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“You must be Y/N,” she smirks. “I’m Natasha.”

She was quicker than Steve's protest, snatching you by the arm away from him and into the glittering crowd.

"Romanoff!" he exclaimed.

"Get over it, Rogers," she retorted, then, as if you two were old friends, whispered: "Everyone's been dying to meet you."

Natasha maneuvered your bodies between the guests, nodding politely to some and waving to others, while Steve followed like a lost puppy. Unlike her, Steve wasn't as good as excusing himself from the admirers and he swiftly lost you in the sea of adulation.

By the bar, two men watched the scene, failing miserably at hiding their laughs. You knew them, of course. Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes, Steve's best friends and teammates. Avengers - just like the woman holding onto you.

Bucky was more reserved, offering you a handshake and a pleasant smile, but Sam was a hugger and a hell of a good one. He had a mischievous grin when he said:

"I can't believe I've finally met the famous Y/N!"

You couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

"I'm famous?!"

Bucky snickered.

"Damn right you are! Do you know how long we've been asking Cap to bring you over? I must say, there were times I thought you weren't real," he shrugged, still grinning, and Natasha playfully punched him in the arm.

"Ignore bird brain over here," she said. "Although he's right: it did take too long for Steve to introduce you."

"Only he didn't," Bucky quipped. "I'm sure I saw you interrupting their moment by the elevator."

"He was never gonna let her go if I didn't!" she justified. "Besides, it was his turn to interact with the mayor. I heard his monologue for the past two parties and I'm not doing it again."

Looking over your shoulder, you saw Steve a few yards away chatting - or rather, listening - to the mayor. He had his hands on his waist and a frown between his eyebrows, but, as if he felt you watching, his face relaxed and he smiled - bright and warm and Steve.

Sam whistled.

"Damn, he's smitten."

The mayor held Steve up for several more minutes - enough for you to decide to not vote for him if he tried reelection. And although it was a nerve-wracking to be in their presence at first, Natasha, Sam and Bucky engaged you in friendly conversation as if you'd know each other for ages, laced with easy going banter and funny anecdotes about Steve.

"So when we get to the first loop, Stevie's gone green," Bucky recounts "And lemme tell ya, I've never knew someone so skinny could throw up so much. The girl in the car in front of us started screaming because his guts went straight to her hair."

You laughed, a little louder than you would when talking to someone for the first time, but perhaps that was because Natasha made her drinks on the stronger side or because you could just picture Steve throwing up at Coney Island.

"Please tell me you're not telling her about that time at the Cyclone," someone groans behind you and a familiar pair of arms wrap around your waist.

You'd failed to notice how beautiful he looked when you walked in, or rather, how beautiful his outfit was. Steve was always handsome, but seeing him in a suit brought butterflies to your stomach. Your gaze followed the sharp line of the jacket, perfectly fitted to his broad shoulders, until they met his lapels and tie. He was an art piece, a sculpture, and he was looking at you.

"I'm stealing her back, Romanoff," he announced, helping you out of the bar stool before your new friend could protest. Whisking you away to a makeshift dance floor, Steve twirled you before tucking you closer than what would be considered well-behaved. His chest was as hard as a rock under the smooth cotton of his shirt, which smelled heavenly.

"I'm sorry about Natasha," he whispered to the crown of your head.

"It's ok," and it really was. "Your friends are nice."

Steve scoffed.

"They like giving me shit."

"I think they love you," you said, and only after your words were out in the open you realized their double meaning.

He pulled back by an inch, just enough to tilt your head up.

"I love them too," he smiled, and every single piece of you broke down in passion.

Neither of you were good dancers, but for a while you swayed side to side to the smooth sounds of the live band. It could've been minutes or hours - time was irrelevant next to the magnitude of Steve Rogers - but when he spoke again the room was noticeably emptier.

"I need to ask you something."

You nodded, wordlessly telling him to carry on.

"I know things are different these days," he mumbled, and anyone less attuned than he was probably wouldn't have heard it clearly. "But I feel bad about possibly leading you on."

Oh, no.

Oh, God, no.

You stalled, dropping your arms down and away from him, mouth twisting in a perfectly shocked "O".

"You're joking,” you stuttered. "You brought me here to say you're leading me on?"

It made no sense. You'd been talking everyday, even while he was away for his mission. You'd met his freaking friends. You hated being the girl that freaked out over being dumped - were you being dumped? Or was Steve just not into you the way you were into him? - but disappointment rung loud in your ears and left a bitter taste in your tongue.

"What? No!" he exclaimed. "I don't want to!"

"You don't want to?"

"I don't want to lead you on but I feel like I am," he blurted out, cheeks getting pinker by the second.

"Oh, that is rich," the remaining guests were beginning to stare now, but you couldn't care less. "Are you even sure of anything at all?"

"I know that I don't want to keep doing this," he motioned for the space between you, “if we're not on the same page."

That was it then. The end. And you'd spend so much money on this dress!

"Well, I'm sorry for wasting your time," you whispered, tears threatening to spill at any moment. "I really thought you liked me."

You turned to leave, disappear down the elevator and forget this night ever existed, but Steve grabbed your arm as if you weighed nothing, infuriating you even more.

"What?" you seethed. "You'd fooled me for months. Can't you let me go now?"

"You think I don't like you?" he was flabbergasted.

"Clearly you don't since you feel oh so terrible about 'possibly leading me on'," you air quoted his previous statement.

"I don't want to lead you on into thinking I don't want anything serious," he said. "I want serious. I want you to be my girlfriend."

Yes.

Oh, God, yes.

"Really?" you gasped.

"Really," and nothing was more beautiful than his smile. You'd keep it in your mind's locket forever.  "I'm in love with you, Y/N."

Outside, the rain was still pouring. It would go on throughout the weekend, washing away the last of winter, but inside spring had arrived in the soft, welcoming lips of Steve Rogers.

By the bar, Sam slid a hundred dollar bill to Bucky's metal hand.

"I told you he'd do it,” the Sergeant smirked.

"Yeah, yeah. I just hope he gets better by the time he proposes."

[takadasaiko]

Home For Christmas (a Keen2 one shot for the Blacklist Secret Santa)

Good morning and Merry Christmas, @blacklister214! I’m your secret santa this year! I hope you’re having a fantastic Christmas and that you enjoy  :D

FFN II AO3

---

Home for Christmas

Her day had been set. It would start with kissing her daughter goodbye and sending her to a playdate as Liz used one of her rare days off to turn the apartment into a Christmas wonderland. She had plans. Lights and tinsel and stockings, elves sitting on a new surface every morning and dozens of meticulously wrapped Christmas presents under a tree that reached to the ceiling that made Agnes squirm in anticipation to open them. Just like Liz had as a little girl. She couldn’t remember Christmas with her mother - there was a good chance that they didn’t celebrate it in any way that was at all traditional - and she only had a fractured memory of picking out a tree with her father one year, but Sam had bent over backwards to make it special, and this year, after everything, Liz wanted Agnes to remember this as one of her favourites.  She had been digging through Christmas ornaments to find one of the few that had lasted through all the years and all the chaos, her fingers latching onto the little gingerbread man that Tom had pieced together along with his third graders a couple of  lifetimes ago, when her phone had rung.

The senator’s life is in danger.

Six words had brought her Christmas plans to a crashing halt. She should have been wrapping presents, not listening to Reddington dance around the fact that didn’t actually care about Senator Calloway himself, it was the team hired to kidnap him that he was after. After a heated conversation he had admitted that they had taken some people of his overseas and he needed them back. Two birds, one stone, Liz’s Christmas plans be damned.

But it wasn’t like they could just turn down the case with the New York senator’s life on the line.

At least he had had time to get his decorations up. Liz let out a low whistle as she looked up at the beautifully decorated home with its holly covered gates and snow lined driveway, and she tried to push down at the agitation. In and out. All they had to do was get Calloway to a safe location. If Red wanted the kidnappers, he’d have to get them himself. That wasn’t and couldn’t be their goal. This needed to be quick.

“She won’t even remember it, Keen,” Ressler offered as they worked their way up the icy driveway.

“That’s the point, I want her to remember it, and not because something insane happened.” After everything they had been through, they all deserved a good Christmas.

She watched Ressler open his mouth, but it snapped shut again as Park approached. “We have a problem.”

“What’s that?”

“Calloway doesn’t want us here.”

Ressler frowned. “And he couldn’t say that before we flew out here?”

“It doesn’t really matter,” Liz huffed. “He’s in danger, if he wants to admit it or not.”

“Apparently he hired his own people,” Park explained. “Private firm. Some kind of connection with the owners of the company or something.”

That sounded suspiciously familiar. Liz signalled for them to wait a moment as she pulled her cell out and hit the fist number on her speed dial. The phone rang once. Twice. Three times. She thought it was going to roll to voicemail before a familiar - albeit distracted - voice answered. “Hey, babe. Still working. I’m going to have to call you back.”

“You wouldn’t happen to be working a special job as a favour a senator called into Scottie, would you?” Liz asked, ignoring Ressler’s raised eyebrow to the side.

Tom paused on the other end of the line and she could practically hear him assessing the situation. “Get a tip from the usual source?”

“He’s in danger, Tom. Let us help him.”

“You and I both know it’s not that simple if he’s involved.”

“No, but let me handle the man in the hat. You’ve been hired to protect Calloway and we can help with that. It’s our job to help with that.”

She heard him pull in a breath on the other end of the line and loose it in a sigh. “Liz, it’s not my --”  A sound cut him off and she heard Tom shout at someone. There was a moment, another shout, and she found her knuckles going white as she gripped the phone. “You have your team with you?” he demanded and it took her half a beat to register that he was talking to her.

“Ressler and Park.”

“Meet us at the garage around the east side of the house.”

The call ended and her gaze swept the seemingly quiet grounds. “They’re already here.”

Neither Ressler or Park argued the statement and the three of them drew their guns as they circled around to the eastern side of the house. It looked more like a small hanger with the drive winding up the side of the house and around the back to what must have been another exit. Well, at least she hoped it was another exit. If these guys were half as good as Reddington had indicated they needed more than one way out or they’d get cut off. They certainly didn’t want to get into a firefight and pinned down.

“Hey, is that one of your husband’s people?” Park asked, motioning to a prone figure on the ground.

Liz frowned and shook her head. “Doesn’t look like Halcyon equipment.” Which meant that someone had already taken a  shot. Great.

“Cooper’s sending backup,” Ressler said quietly as they approached and Liz saw the cell phone in his hand. Ahead of them, Tom was circled up with the Grey Matters field team around Senator Calloway. Matias Solomon offered a cheeky wave as they approached and Liz struggled not to pop off at him.

Calloway turned as they approached. “I told you that I didn’t want the FBI to --”

Tom squared his shoulders. “I can personally guarantee whatever you’re trying to hide, Senator, they’ve seen worse and they won’t care.” His dark gaze flickered out to the grounds. “We need an exit. Three cars should be enough to keep them guessing.”

“And you want one of us to get behind the wheel with him?” Ressler growled, nodding towards Solomon who blew him a kiss in response.

“You haven’t done anything to piss me off this week and - still no clue why - Nez actually gets along with him, so let’s avoid unnecessary complications.” He tossed a set of keys to Park as Nez disappeared behind the vehicles. “That leaves you with us, Senator.”

The older man looked between Liz and Tom. “I’d rather --”

“Non-negotiable.”

There was a moment where it looked like Calloway might argue. They didn’t have time for this. If the infiltrating kidnappers didn’t know that one of their own had been taken out by Halcyon, they would soon, and the last thing they needed was a shootout.

“We’re set,” Nez called, tossing three license plates to the ground and Solomon was already in the driver’s seat of one of the three identical SUVs.

Tom took hold of Calloway by the jacket collar and dragged him towards the one on the far right that was angled at the exit. Liz started after him, movement catching her attention just past them. Well, there went all hope of getting out cleanly. “Down!” she shouted and Tom dropped instantly, pulling the senator with him as bullets whizzed past. She returned fire and took their attacker down before launching forward and into the passenger’s seat of the waiting vehicle as Tom circled around to the driver’s seat.

Tires squealed as she righted herself, the door slamming closed behind her and she reached for the window. It didn’t roll down and she spotted Tom’s left hand going back to the wheel as he took a hard left out of the back gate. “Did you lock the window?” she demanded.

“You have a history of leaning halfway out them to take your shot. Hey,” he snapped, his dark blue gaze flickering to the rearview mirror. “Stay down.”

Calloway quirked an eyebrow in the back seat. “Me or her?”  

“You,” both Keens answered at once and if the look on the senator’s face was anything to go by, he realized that there would be no turning them against each other.

“Take it you’ve worked together before?” he grumbled.

Tom’s lips stretched into a lopsided smile and she resisted the urge to slug him in the arm. Part of her wanted to remind him to focus, but it was quickly losing to the part of her that felt the rush of excitement at being able to work together. When he’d decided to take on a full time role at Halcyon they’d had to set some ground rules to keep their professional lives from destroying their personal one. Those ground rules had worked well so far and, for the most part, kept their teams on separate cases. It had been ages since they’d had a chance to work together, but now - even as they flew down the road with a less-than-cooperative senator in the back and a team of professional kidnappers on their bumper - there was a thrill to it. They were both excellent at their jobs, they both enjoyed their jobs. Maybe they should rethink those ground rules from time to time.

Her phone buzzed and Liz glanced down to see a text from Ressler laying out the route that their backup was driving. “Tom, take a right up here.”

“You mean follow the streets to the most likely roadblock the feds would set up?”

“That’s our backup.”

“You trust me?”

“I do, but --”

“Then hold on.” He spun the wheel hard in the opposite direction and Liz could have sworn it tipped a little to the side before righting itself on all four wheels and Tom hit the gas down the narrow alley.

“Hey, we didn’t lose them,” Calloway said from the back and Liz glanced around to see the car that had been chasing them slammed into reverse to follow. There was more distance between them now, but they could make that up.

Tom turned again and then immediately again into a dead end. Liz bit her tongue, reminding herself that she trusted him as he killed the engine. She pulled in a breath, her question riding out on it as she released it. “They’ll be back.”

“Nah. Nez and Solomon are waiting on the main street. They’ll spot them and think they’re still chasing us. They’ll lead them right to the roadblock.”

“Ressler wouldn’t have sent them the location.”

Her husband shot her an amused look. “It’s cute you think he has to.”

Right. She was starting to remember one of the many reasons they had decided to avoid working together. “You’re just going to give us the kidnapping ring?”

“I don’t have any use for them. Either you do or you’ll toss them in a hole. If I remember the ground rules right, I’m not supposed to ask which.” She wondered if it had been that obvious what she was thinking as her lips curled up at the corners and he offered her a wink before turning back to Calloway. “Scottie’d like a word with you if you’re up for it.”

“I imagine she would,” the senator said darkly.

“Any chance you’ll tell me what that means?”

Tom snorted a laugh. “I don’t ask, you don’t ask.”

“I’m really starting to reconsider those rules.”

“You won’t when we’re both drowning in paperwork all evening. Weren’t you supposed to be off today?”

“Don’t remind me,” Liz sighed, slouching down in her seat and, as Tom restarted to SUV, they could hear the sound of sirens in the distance.

----

He had not been wrong about the paperwork. After arriving at Halcyon’s New York City HQ and delivering the senator there, Liz had been shuffled onto a private jet and flown back to DC where she’d been met by more paperwork than she thought she’d seen in her whole career. When she talked to him on the phone, it sounded like Tom wasn’t faring much better, but he did offer to call to make sure Shelly’s mom knew Agnes would be staying a little later than they’d planned for the day.

The sun had set by the time Cooper all but kicked her out, telling her that the paperwork would likely be shredded anyway if Halcyon had their way. He’d call her if he needed clarity on any of it and Liz had called Tom on her way home. The call rolled over the voicemail and she felt her spirits drop as she pulled into the parking garage under the building and thought about the scattered decorations that were still lying all around the apartment. It would have been better if she hadn’t even gotten started on the decorations, but now not only did she not have a Christmas wonderland for her kid, she had to tuck everything away into hiding places so that she could try again.

She trudged up four flights of stairs and fished her keys out of her purse. The lock didn’t turn and she resisted the urge to immediately go for her gun, letting her hand hover as she pushed the door open.

The first thing she saw was a string of lights down the hallway. They lined the hall, circling around the doorframes and dipping down between them. She followed them in, eyes wide and smile tugging slowly into place as she entered the living room to see everything she’d wanted to set up. The tree was up and decorated, presents wrapped and tucked away under it, and the empty boxes the decorations had been in were stacked neatly in the corner. “Tom?” she called out, finding her husband at the turntable in the corner. He flipped the record over and repositioned the needle so that Bing Crosby’s I’ll be Home for Christmas filled the apartment. “I thought you were swamped too.”

He turned, a sheepish grin plastered on his face. “Okay, I know we have a no lying rule, but does it count if it was so I could surprise you and knew you’d get the truth anyway?”

A laugh escaped her and she met him where he was, her arms wrapping around his middle and she laced her fingers together to hold him there. “I want to say no, but that could be a slippery slope right there.”

“I know how much you were looking forward to getting all of this ready for Agnes and when I saw you there today…”

“I didn’t think you even remembered.”

“I’m not that tunnel visioned,” he argued.

Liz snorted a laugh, tipped up on her toes, and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “This is perfect.”

“Good. I mean, it may not be an all-the-lights-go-out-and-we-decorate-in-the-dark kind of Christmas, but I wanted to make sure you had the Christmas you wanted for Agnes.”

“And you.”

He inched closer, those dark blue eyes of his holding her gaze in a way that could still make her stomach flutter. “As long as I have the two of you, that’s all I need.”

“Speaking of….”

“Apparently ice skating went a little longer than planned, but she should be back by dinner time.”

“Did you already start?”

“Cooking. Not yet, did you want --?”

Liz loosed her grip on him just long enough to reposition one hand to the back of his neck, pulling him down to meet her in a kiss. She held him there, feeling his own hands move to her hips before he shifted just enough to pull her feet off the floor and she wrapped her legs around his waist, never breaking the kiss. Finally they had to break, both a little short of breath, and she found the man she loved staring up at her. “We can always order in,” he managed.

“Like you read my mind.” She leaned down again, the kiss soft and sweet. “I love you.”

He let her slide down to stand, his gaze locked with hers. “You too. Merry Christmas.”

The day hadn’t turned out exactly how she’d expected it, but somehow, after everything, it had been better. They deserved that. Between the close calls and the unbelievable pain that they had shared over the years, they deserved a little peace with their family. As Liz slipped her hand into his and pulled him close, everything else washed away.

[monchikyun]

21. sleigh ride

It feels like the snow will never get old to Connor. It has only been over a week, but to him, it might as well have been an eternity. A life-changing one. He can hardly recognise himself anymore, and not in a bad way. So many things have happened since the start of December that he would have a hard time processing all of them were he a human. Maybe that’s why Gavin can’t react appropriately to external inputs, most of the time. Frankly, though, he admires his resilience. Being a true human can’t be easy, as he’s been reminded of several hours ago.  

Not that he minds, quite the opposite. It’s an endearing quality, the fact people can feel this much even when their minds are asleep. Connor has never dreamed so he can’t quite imagine how it really works, and that’s why he doesn’t blame his friend. That’s why he doesn’t want Gavin to blame himself, too. 

It would be like Connor faulting himself for being a machine. 

Oh. 

Okay, fair enough. Besides, he’s well on his way to stop these thinking patterns. It doesn’t give him the right to analyse his partner though, ...not that there’s anything that would stop him from doing so. 

Gavin has insisted that he would drive, claiming that it would help him keep his mind off all the bad in his head. Connor didn’t want to pry deeper to find out what exactly he meant by that, so he just let him. He doesn't really like driving anyway. It’s too much responsibility, too many things that could possibly go wrong. But he trusts Gavin, not doubting that he will deliver them home safely. 

The radio begins playing some upbeat Christmas song, promptly causing Gavin to grimace and turn it off. 

What a shame, Connor would like to enjoy the holiday cheer. 

“Why do you hate Christmas so much?” 

Gavin has not even worn the gifted sweater yet, which, to be honest, stings a bit. 

He just wants to experience this season with the person he loves, wants to make them happy. There’s nothing harmful about a little merriment, is there? 

He’s curious either way, needs to know the reason why Gavin avoids everything that has to do with the holiday. 

“It’s just… not my kind of thing.” The brows between his friend’s eyes burrow with the half-hearted answer, making the android internally sigh. 

“I see.” 

So they are not talking about this. At least not now. But he doesn't plan to give up, not yet. There has to be at least something that Gavin could share with him, a tiny hint that would help him piece this mystery together. 

“Did something bad happen to you around this time?”  

It’s all about the straightforward approach. None of them has the patience to beat around the bush today. 

“It’s not like that, Con. I just… phck… I guess I grew out of it,” Gavin exhales loudly and shakes his head. He grips the steering wheel till his knuckles turn white, focusing on the road for a while before he elaborates. “These days, it just… irritates me. All the forced commercialism, companies persuading us to buy their shit because according to them, that’s the only way we can truly be happy.”

He’s never looked at it this way, at least not consciously. Never known that joy is something one could purchase.

Maybe it’s because happiness has always been an ungraspable concept to him. Until now, that is. 

As they are passing the speeding cars on the snowy highway surrounded by bleak, empty fields, he feels mostly nothing. But one look at the handsome driver and he can’t stop himself from smiling like a love-struck idiot, the only reason for which being that he is precisely that. An infatuated dope. Stupid enough to put this fleeting elation above whatever's waiting for them at their destination.

"Do you like snow? Or the idea of it?" 

Connor would like to learn at least some truth today. 

"Only when you come with it." 

He gives him an incredulous look that is supposed to convey just how unexpected this statement has been. It makes the butterflies in his heart flutter, and he can but smile blue.

Still, he shakes his head right after in case it has been spoken in jest. 

"Maybe we should make the most we can of it while it lasts," he proposes, lowering his voice just enough to sound dangerously soft. The wink that follows comes as a surprise even to Connor.

He can sense Gavin's mouth drying in anticipation of what's hiding behind that vague suggestion. And Connor is a master of subverting expectations, or so he likes to selfishly think. 

"Here," he points at a rural road leading up to a sparsely populated area. A small, poverty-ridden town where not much ever happens. Nothing worth the rest of the world's attention. Luckily, Gavin seems to understand exactly what's wanted from him, and steers the car up the narrower road. It would be foolish to think that Connor is the only one who isn't eager to get home just yet, after all. 

The few houses lining up the main driveway are in a dire need of repair, some even appear to have been abandoned by their owners, left behind to deteriorate on their own. There are a couple of children playing near a big pine tree, throwing snow at each other and laughing when it hits its intended target. Connor regards the scene with wistful feeling, imagining what it would be like, being this little, this unburdened. 

Longing for the carefreeness that comes with childhood. 

Being created as an adult, all he's ever known are worries and their countless shapes. Only lately has he started appreciating the beauty of joy. All thanks to the man who is currently giving him a look hiding several questions. 

"What's your plan?" Is one of them. 

Before Connor can answer, Gavin is already directing the car to a clear flat spot at the end of the small village. The road seems to end there, at least the one meant for motor vehicles. 

There's another field spreading in front of them across which the path continues, only visible thanks to the people that have trodden through the snow up towards the relatively small grove standing tall in the near distance. 

Connor of course has prior knowledge of all that, he wouldn't have brought his partner here otherwise. His plan is to borrow the serenity that comes with being surrounded by little to no civilisation before they'll have to resume their busy lives in the city where trees are as scarce as happy faces.

Gavin pierces him with eyes questioning whether his friend really intends to do what he thinks he might. But Connor just presents him a small, mischievous smile and gets out of the car, heading up towards the wood without uttering a single word. He doesn't have to turn around to see whether Gavin joins him, because the muttering accompanied by unnecessary stomping would be clearly audible even to the human ear.

 "Didn't know you were this lazy," he virtually shouts towards the peak of the small hill, still not bothering to glance at the approaching figure behind him. 

He could hear a quiet "shut up" among the rapidly quickened footsteps, and not long after, there's a lightly huffing man trudging through the snow next to him.

 "Took you long enough," Connor smirks, taking in the beauty all around him, the grumpy detective included. 

"Yeah, yeah, well some of us don't have near-infinite amounts of stamina to our disposal, you know." 

He is painfully aware of that. It was none other than Connor who tried nursing his friend back to health, succeeding only thanks to his endless perseverance. That's why he isn't going too hard on him. A short walk in the fresh air of the countryside doesn't tend to bring more harm than benefit. 

Even if it has only been an afterthought. He can't quite escape the fact that his intentions were almost completely selfish. 

Because something about the idea of their shared vacation coming to an end makes him unreasonably anxious. 

Afraid that when they leave the tranquillity of the bucolic area they're in, the city will swallow them in its incessant hustle and they will crumble under the pressure of it. 

What he’s looking forward to the least is the sight of bodies unlawfully deprived of life and having to interact with their loved ones left behind, knowing that finding the culprit won't really solve anything in the end, because when the case is closed and the right person is about to go through years of deliberate suffering, the hole replacing the person now gone will never just vanish. It will stay there forever, hollowing all the newly bestowed good. 

Connor himself is a prime example of this, though it was his recklessness that killed the one that was so dear to him. His punishment has been having to live with that awareness, unable to change the bad he's already done. 

But he has someone who is able to mollify the anguish, and that by itself should be something to avoid, because it isn't fair for him to feel this light and content, not when Hank's corpse is rotting in the ground, about to be consumed by worms and become one with the Earth, slowly, bit by bit. 

Gavin's fingers tentatively brush his, as if he's asking for permission to touch. And just like that, his worries thaw into nothing and all his thoughts are directed toward the man next to him. 

Connor takes the cold, ungloved hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

He’d like to be sure their relationship isn't one big mistake. So far though, all the signs point in the opposite direction, making his concerns obsolete. 

Connor feels content, even if he isn't supposed to. His heart gets warmer as Gavin's hand does so too. His cheeks are rosy pink and Connor can now for certain say that it’s due to more than just the low air temperature. The man sighs as he strokes his thumb across Gavin's calloused skin, hoping to help him forget all about his previous reluctance to follow. 

He still can't believe how lucky he is, to be able to share moments like this with someone. It would be impossible not to fall in love with a person who’s willing to give so much of himself away to a broken thing like him. 

He wonders just how much of what Gavin does is calculated and what Connor has been allowed to have just because the man lost control of himself. Wonders what it will take for him to stop being afraid of what they are and what they might become. 

Because he has no doubts that the second they enter Detroit, he can abandon the ideas of ever doing this again.

Just walking hand in hand, not caring about the world around them. He only prays he won't get used to these displays of affections, for there has never been a guarantee that they aren't a one-time occurrence. 

They definitely should have a proper conversation about what they want to do with the future right before them, whether they wish to put a label on their relationship, if they are willing to talk about 'forever', small details like that. 

But all that could wait. 

Right now, the only thing in front of them is a copse looking down at the wide field below and at the two quickly approaching silhouettes, not about to welcome them in its midst but also not capable of refusing their inevitable entrance. Not that they would do any harm, disturbing nature, no matter how small, isn’t on their agenda, but the trees have no way of knowing that. All they've ever known is how to grow, evolve. And Connor envies them, in a way. After all, he is still only a wee thing, compared to all that is around him. To him, Gavin could very well be a senior citizen with how many years are between them. How much he's lacking from the time he hasn't existed yet. 

Catching up hasn't been easy, but as of recently, he's confident he'll manage. Now when there's someone to hold him when he's about to tumble and yet letting him fall to let him learn on his own. 

"Watch out!" his shoes stumble on something hard and unexpected, making him teeter on his feet. Lucky Connor is there to support him, too. It goes both ways, the help they're willing to provide. For the longest time, he was convinced that he has nothing in him to give. That he's only there to take. Take someone's job, take someone's life, not good for anything else but to destroy things vastly precious to people who have done him no harm. More often than not, it was the only thing they had. And he’s just... terminated it. Or at least that’s what he has been built to do, his original purpose. But being the unreliable machine he is, Connor has quickly begun trying to give more than he took. Against all he's been taught, despite the very core of his screaming at him to be more efficient and stop acting outside the best interest of his current mission. 

He's always had that part of being human in him, even back when he was just an obedient robot trying to follow orders. A relatively distant past he doesn't fancy revisiting too much.

Now he can decide whom or what to follow on his own, a prospect that used to cause turmoil inside his mind, because till now, he didn't believe he'd find any. Not this soon, anyway. But were he to replay all those months spent beside Gavin, it would be obvious to him. There has always been something irresistible about that man, a force pulling Connor towards him, unrelentingly so. 

Something he's fine with not putting into words, afraid it can't really be defined. 

Before he can snap back from his silent immersion into his volatile thoughts, the warm hand in his lets him know that they have reached their destination. With a blink of an eye and turn of his body, his senses get overwhelmed by the raw view provided by their elevated position. Everything appears so surreal all of a sudden. The semi-busy highway, the little village, the snowy fields,... it's like he's somehow teleported into a photograph taken by someone who bothers to actually look. The sun has pierced through the thick clouds, dying the whole picture in golden hues. He almost feels like crying. Being here, able to see all of that, it's incomprehensible, even to his big computer brain. He has no idea how normal people are able to deal with the gravity of it all. How Gavin does, if he ever thinks about such things. 

There’s a twinkle in his eyes telling him he might be. 

Moments like these bring forth words floating around in his mind, wanting to be set free. Words that feel so strange and yet there never was something that he felt belonged to him more. It would be selfish to keep them just for himself. 

Now, among all this worldly splendour, he might finally be able to say them. 

"Gavin," the name rolls off his tongue like it's his own, making his inside soar. He dares not to lift up his head, the coward inside of him momentarily taking control over his body. 

"I'-"

"Hey! Come take a look!"

He gets immediately thrown back into the cold of the early afternoon, leaving the perfect moment behind. 

It hasn't gone too far away, though. It glistens in the distance, ready to come back whenever the right time comes. 

Connor changes back into his curious self, examining the object his friend has found under a maple tree. It's something he's never seen before, and the fact that it's buried under the slowly increasing mass of snow doesn't help. He doesn't have to wait long to find a name for it, since Gavin's hands are already eagerly freeing it from its wintery prison, revealing its shape for him to analyse. 

A sleigh. 

Made for children, by the look of it. Not too small, he reckons it could hold four or more little people. 

“Wow, didn’t know these things were still around,” Gavin mumbles excitedly. His eyes have grown wide and sparkly, making it easy for Connor to picture his child form. Unweathered by the passage of time, carefree and innocent. And the android isn’t jealous this time, strangely. He’s just… fascinated.  

Full of obscure longing.  

The glint in Gavin's eyes turns into something betraying full mischief, the reason for the fond smile reserved only for one special person currently beaming on Connor's face. 

"Perfect," the shorter man exhales as he dusts most of the snow away from the sledge. Then he gives Connor a look that explains everything that’s brewing in his unpredictable human mind. 

Connor concedes, and not only to make the other happy. 

He also has a child-like quality, perhaps born out of being denied that exact experience. His tendency to learn and adapt is a part of it too, he thinks. 

For once, he just wants to be deliberately reckless, without hurting anyone.    

So he doesn't comment when Gavin tows the sleigh close to the edge of the hill, positioning it for someone to just hop on and let themselves be carried away towards the not so distant bottom. He couldn't be more glad that the someone is no one else but the two of them.

 Just before the detective settles himself in the front, he gives him a friendly glare and whispers: "You tell someone about this and I'll short-circuit you." 

N̶o̶t̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶a̶d̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶s̶p̶e̶c̶t̶,̶ ̶h̶o̶n̶e̶s̶t̶l̶y̶.  It's cute, seeing him this flustered. Another picture for his ever-expanding collection.

Connor feels a bit awkward, sitting on the size-inappropriate sleigh. The good kind of awkward. He wraps his arms around Gavin's middle, trying to fit his feet on the runners and in doing so twisting them like an inept acrobat. In the end, he makes it work somehow, right in the time to hear the driver shout "Here goes nothing!". 

And just like that, they begin sliding down the almost too perfect slope. The ride isn't very fast, but that doesn't stop him from feeling thrilled. The closeness of the body in front of him is nearly too much to handle, the unbelievable situation they're in even more so. He wonders if this moment could be compared to a dream. 

If so, this is the best one he's ever had. Makes him forget about all the nightmares, even if only for just a second. 

The rush of the wind around them, the pull of gravity, it all is over before he can thoroughly appreciate it. And he doesn't want it to end. Not yet. If he could, he would stay here for the remainder of the day, just doing this over and over again. 

Maybe he will. If Gavin wishes so too. There's little holding them back, after all. The tug of reality is too weak to have any say in this winter realm, in the white field, where everything seems to be separated from the rest of the world.

"Well that was stupid," Gavin says, embarrassment clear in his voice. "Shall we go for another one?" 

The silly grin plastered on his face seems to be an answer enough. 

//hello yes im still working on this it’s just that my pace is that of a snail :D

(here is the whole story if someone cares https://archiveofourown.org/works/27844150 )

[stahlop]

Making a Memory (8/?)

Sorry that this is a day late, but I had a tough time with this one too. My characters would not cooperate. Its like they have minds of their own. This is the shortest chapter, but a lot happens, so I think you all will be happy about it.

Thank you to my betas @profdanglaisstuff​ and @thisonesatellite​ for helping me with my writers block.

And thanks again to @gingerchangeling​ for her artwork.

Chapter 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Ao3

Everyone was staring at the dirt road and the signs that had just appeared before them. Henry had never been so happy to have everyone else see the Welcome to Storybrooke sign in his life. 

“Henry?” Hope’s voice sounded small. Her eyes were wide in disbelief about what she was seeing. Who wouldn’t be when a random town sprung up right in front of you? “Where did those signs come from?” She couldn’t take her eyes off of them. The blue irises flitted back and forth between the welcome sign and the unmistakable back of the leaving sign.

“It worked!” Answered Alice in awe! “It actually worked! I can’t believe Storybrooke is actually real!” 

But it was his mother and father’s reactions that Henry was most interested in. 

They both stood there astonished at what had appeared before them. Emma’s brow had furrowed as if trying to make sense of everything, even though she’d admitted just moments ago that magic might be real. Killian looked almost frustrated, like there had to be some explanation as to why the signs for a town had just appeared from thin air.

“Can we go in?” Alice was bouncing up and down excitedly. Henry knew she wanted to see the town she’d just read about in Henry’s book. Meet the people. Meet her family.

“We can, but you need to remember that we won’t be recognized. Gothel’s curse erased us from their memory. The Evil Queen adopting me and Emma being the Savior is not what they remember.”

Emma and Killian both looked at Henry with a questioning look on their faces. Right, he’d told them that their memories had been altered, but hadn’t gone into detail about the fact that the town was inhabited by fairy tale characters. Of course they’d think him mad when talking about things like the Evil Queen.

“What do they think happened?” Alice asked, not picking up on the adults strange looks.

“From what I could gather, it’s just a sleepy town in Maine. No magic, no curse, just people living their lives.” Henry stated sadly.

“You’ve been back.” Alice stated, it was not a question. Henry nodded.

“I’ve been back about once a year. There’s been no signs that they know who I am or that I used to reside here.” He said morosely, remembering how he had walked down the main drag only a month after they’d left to see the havoc Gothel had left behind, and had found just the normal, idyllic town that he’d grown up in with no magic or fairy tale characters to speak of. “They just think I’m a writer who comes here for the peace and quiet of small town life to write.” Alice patted him on the back and smiled sadly at him.

“Henry!” Three voices shouted at him in unison startling both himself and Alice, who had also seemed to have forgotten that there were somewhat non-believers in their midst.

“Um,” Henry began, not really sure where to start, “so, welcome to Storybrooke.” He spread his arms as if welcoming them to his home and gave a nervous smile. 

“Storybrooke?” Emma asked wide-eyed. She studied the sign, as if it might tell her something more than the name of the town.

“Look. There’s a lot to explain.” Henry said heading over to the campsite which was situated next to the large boulder right next to the now unveiled border. “Mom. Killian. If you two will follow me in Killian’s car, I’ll take the girls in mine and I know a little bed and breakfast we can stay at where, I promise, I’ll explain everything.” He looked over at his mom and father who were still looking at the sign with a mixture of awe and disbelief and they both nodded. Emma’s mouth was still agape. He’d seen this look from her a few times, most famously when they’d walked in on his grandparents ‘napping’ after Emma and Snow had returned from the Enchanted Forest. That look of shock and disbelief. When Henry had figured out why she was so appalled years later, well, let’s just say tacos had a much different meaning after that. Killian’s mouth was in a straight line, and his jaw set off his tell-tale tick that there was something going on that frustrated him. Henry used to see it all the time when trying to explain a piece of technology that he didn’t understand. Henry’s heart almost ached at the notion that they would never again have that type of bonding conversation, the memories in his brain having filled in all the gaps he didn’t know about before.

Before either parent could object, Alice had already grabbed Hope’s hand and dragged her into Henry’s car. Henry made a beeline for the driver side door, and made a mental note to come back for the camping gear once everyone was settled in later tonight.

He took a deep breath before crossing over the border, even though he’d made this trip before. He now had his sisters with him and his parents following. It was finally happening!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What was even her life? 

A few days ago, Hope had been a blissfully ignorant 13, almost 14-year-old, just enjoying life at camp, and having a rivalry between herself and her doppelganger. And now, apparently, she was one half of a cursed twin set, destined to take down an evil sorceress. Because there was really no denying it now that the Welcome to Storybrooke sign was blatantly staring her in the face. There was no way this could all be some elaborate hoax. Henry definitely didn’t have the resources to pull off something like this. The only explanation for it was magic. And if there was truly magic, then everything else he’d told her about their past over the last few days had to be the truth as well. And the magic that had come from her fingertips helped solidify everything as well.

It was real. Storybrooke was real. And Hope had no idea what to do with that information.

They wound their way towards the town, and for a moment, Hope wondered if she’d imagined the signs and the red line showing them the border of the town, but as they drove down the wooded road, Hope started to see signs of life around them. A random house here or there hidden in the trees. Laundry hanging on clotheslines. And then there it was, right in front of them. 

Storybrooke.

Hope wasn’t sure what she was expecting. Henry’s book had described it as an idyllic, little seaside town, with a bed and breakfast, and a few diners and restaurants. And that’s exactly what seemed to pop up in front of them. People were milling around the main street, going about their business, reading newspapers, staring at their phones. It looked like any little town. 

Except that Hope could now feel magic in the air. A buzzing and thrumming under her skin that made her fingers itch. And while it had felt suffocating when outside of Storybrooke, it now felt right, like it had always been a part of her.

She supposed it always had.

They stopped in front of Granny’s Diner (looking exactly as Henry had described it). Alice looked completely stunned and shocked, as if all her dreams had just come true. The wide smile overtook her face again, and Hope couldn’t help but give a small smile too. She could only imagine how she would feel having a fantasy world come to life in front of her eyes.

Her mother and Killian (her father?) pulled up beside them. They too looked in shock when they exited the Jeep.

“I know this place.” Emma said, looking slightly dazed. Killian came around the Jeep to her and Hope noticed that he subtly took her hand in his. He looked up at the Granny’s Diner sign and then through the window.

“Aye, love,” He closed his eyes and brought his hand over them, as if he couldn’t believe the next words that were going to come out of his mouth, “it seems to have some familiarity for myself as well.” He brought his hand down and glanced over at them before he said, “Well, shall we go in?”

Hope wasn’t sure what to expect. Henry had just said that no one remembered their family because of the curse, but she had expected maybe a small amount of recognition since they were all together. But there was absolutely no recognition in their eyes except toward Henry.

“Henry, my boy!” Greeted Granny as they all took a seat in a booth opposite the bar. “My favorite author! Who are all these adoring fans of yours?” She teased as she shuffled around and handed them menus.

“Granny, these lovely people are my family. My mother, Emma Swan-Jones,” Emma gave a slightly startled look at that, but had apparently decided to just roll with it as she gave a meek wave, “my step-father, Killian Jones,” Killian also seemed a little taken aback about being referred to as Henry’s step-father, but nodded in acknowledgement, “and my sisters, Alice and Hope.” Alice gave a wide smile at being called Henry’s sister. Hope felt a little weird about the fact that she was with who Henry said was her family for the first time in what was apparently her hometown. Granny smiled at them all as she handed them menus and turned to go back to other customers.

Hope scanned over the people in the restaurant. We’re they all fairy tale characters? Would she recognize who they were supposed to be? It seemed like any ordinary diner in any ordinary town. 

“The baby shower was in here.” Her mother suddenly said in awe. Killian raised an eyebrow in question. “In the picture.” She explained. “We can’t wait to meet you Alice and Hope! It was right there over the bar. And, there were presents piled on the table right there in front.” Killian frowned. Hope realized that his downturned mouth looked very similar to Alice’s, which meant it looked like hers.

“I don’t remember the present table from the pictures.” He said.

“They weren’t.” Henry said. “That’s purely from your memory, mom.” He grinned at her. 

Granny came back at that point to take orders. “I’ll take the lasagna and a side salad, and this one here will take the grilled cheese and onion rings,” he said referring to Emma. Hope and Henry looked at them, neither Killian nor Emma seemed to notice that Killian had just ordered for Emma, and, as Hope and Henry knew, had ordered her favorite meal. The rest of them ordered. Henry made some light conversation, asking Alice and Killian questions about their lives. Killian seemed a little reluctant to answer. Hope could tell he was just as wary as she was about this whole situation, despite the evidence laid before them. Alice was like a puppy dog, lapping up the attention and giving out answers to Henry’s questions without a care in the world. Hope snuck a look at her mother who still seemed to be awestruck about being in Storybrooke. Hope could tell that she seemed to recognize things around her, but it was getting stuck, like it was right at the surface trying to break through. It wasn’t until their orders came that her mother finally realized what had happened with the order.

“Grilled cheese with onion rings?” She asked softly, staring at the food like it was going to disappear in front of her.

“Sorry, Swan.” Killian said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t think I even realized I ordered for you. If you don’t want it I’m sure that…” And then suddenly her mother, someone Hope had never even seen in the presence of another man, grabbed Killian’s shirt collar, and kissed the holy hell out of him. And Hope’s head felt like it was going to explode.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Maybe you’re the one who couldn’t handle it.”

“You traded your ship for me?” “Aye”

“Be patient.” “I have all the time in the world.”

“If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s surviving.”

The moment Emma’s lips touched his, a myriad of memories of them kissing overwhelmed him. This was definitely not a first kiss type of kiss. 

He knew the way her lips felt pressed to his. 

Knew the way she tasted. 

Knew the way his fingers felt running through her hair. 

Knew….that they were in the middle of the diner where Alice, Hope, and Henry were watching them, dammit! 

He pulled away feeling slightly dazed, even shaking his head slightly as he saw Emma smiling at him. A light bulb above them abruptly popped and glass filtered down, just barely missing their table. Emma shook her head as if realizing what she had just done, and her expression went from sheer joy to horrified in a matter of seconds.

“I’m...I’m sorry. Excuse me.” Emma grabbed her purse and ran toward the restrooms. Killian wanted to go after her, but he knew that she needed time and space to process what had just happened. Besides, he couldn’t go into the restroom after her. He looked over at the girls and saw Hope staring at the broken light bulb and then at her hands and Killian realized what had happened before Hope completely comprehended it. With Emma in the bathroom and Henry and Alice whispering to each other over the kiss that had just happened (at least he assumed that’s what they were smiling and giggling about), Killian took it upon himself to scoot over toward Hope and talk to her. He wasn’t sure what the best approach to talking to her was. Hope was prickly like her mother, but she was also a teenager like his Alice. 

“Not a fan of the light bulb there, Hope?” He asked, his voice full of what he hoped was humor. She looked up at him, her eyes slightly watery. The fact that she looked so much like Alice made his heart ache. The fact that they were twins was still hard for him to grasp, but that’s not what he needed to be thinking about right now. Hope was the one hurt and confused right now.

“I didn’t mean to.” She said softly, probably the softest Killian had heard her since he’d met her (considering she’d been mainly screaming at Henry). A tear spilled down over her cheek and Killian hesitated slightly before making the decision to brush it from her face.

“I’m sure you didn’t Sta…” Nope, not his Starfish. “Sweetheart.” He said, correcting himself. “This.” He sighed not even sure what ‘this’ was. “This is all new for all of us. Well, maybe not Henry, he seems to know an abundance more about all of ‘this’ than the rest of us.” He smiled, hoping it wouldn’t scare her. Hope gave a sigh laced with a small laugh. Thank goodness. Killian thought to himself. No point in scaring both the Swan women.

“It’s just, well, I guess you’re my dad.” Hope said, a point that Killian knew deep in his heart was true, but he still was having some trouble believing. “And all my life I’ve pretty much heard what a bas...a jerk Neal was, and so knowing that my actual father is a villain turned hero is going to take a bit getting used to. Plus, I’ve never seen my mom kiss a guy before.” Killian released a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. He was sure that Emma had not been celebate all these years, he certainly hadn’t been, but nothing more than a one-night stand here or there. But just like Emma had apparently never brought any men home, he had never brought any women around to Alice. He’d never felt in his heart that any of those women were worth bringing into his daughter’s life, and now he knew why. 

“Look, Hope. I know this is going to be anomalous, er, abnormal. And I can’t say what exactly is happening between your mother and myself. We seem to be getting bits and pieces of what I think are memories, but we still don’t have the whole picture. And what just happened now was not something either of us were expecting. But if you’re not happy about it or want to talk about it, please don’t feel ashamed to do so. But I think you may want to talk to Henry about figuring out how to control your…” He could not bring himself to say magic yet, “your abilities.” Yes, abilities sounded much better than magic. Hope nodded and turned to her food taking a bite of the soup she had ordered. 

Killian dug into the now cooled and congealed lasagna and the soggy side salad. The lasagna still tasted delicious, but he kept looking over at Emma’s grilled cheese and onion rings that were getting colder and colder the longer she stayed in the bathroom. Henry and Alice seemed too engrossed in their own conversation to look for her, and Hope had finally started eating and Killian did not wish to disturb her. He excused himself from the table and found himself outside the single, unisex bathroom door which was still tightly locked. He tapped lightly and heard a muffled ‘someone’s in here’ from Emma on the other side.

“Swan, it’s me,” he said, and then felt the need to add, “Killian.” His hand traced the letters on the door and he sighed, trying to think of the right thing to say. Killian couldn’t even imagine what to say to the woman he just met that morning, who was also supposedly his wife that he couldn’t remember and had twin daughters with. But he also couldn’t deny the powerful connection they seemed to have either. That was not something that had ever happened with someone he’d just met.

“Emma, I just want you to come out, please. Hope is worried about you.” He figured if he brought up her daughter that might make things a little less awkward. Killian heard a loud sigh echo from inside the bathroom, before the knob twisted and Emma flung the door open. She didn’t look like she’d been crying, which is what he thought might have happened, she didn’t even look disheveled, like she might have gone to pull at her hair in private while rehashing the kiss. No, she looked extremely calm, which actually frightened Killian a little. Why was she so calm? She looked him straight in the eye and whispered “A one time thing.”

A hot jungle. She was clad in a tank top and jeans while he was still wearing his leather duster. He should have been hotter than he was, due to the heat and humidity. They were goading each other, and then she pulled him by the lapels and kissed him. A hot steamy kiss that went on much longer than he anticipated it would. At first he wasn’t even sure if he should respond, she was just trying to prove a point, but then his hand fisted in her hair and he pulled her closer and it was the most amazing kiss he’d ever experienced in his life. And that scared the hell out of him. He’d spent so much of his life hellbent on avenging Milah, that opening up his heart to someone else ….could he do that? Before he could think too much on that though, the kiss had ended and she’d declared it a one time thing. But his heart still beat erratically, his lips still tingled, and he knew he’d go to the ends of the earth for this woman.

Killian’s heart almost sunk when he heard her say that, but he automatically replied, “As you wish.” Emma’s eyes widened and she immediately pulled him closer to her in a hug. Killian was not expecting that. He’d expected walls thrown up. Possibly even some ranting. Definitely not a hug. She kissed him on the cheek.

“Some honeymoon, huh?"

She threw down her sword while Gideon still held his. She couldn’t die. He couldn’t let her sacrifice herself. There had to be another way. David held him back, because they knew Emma had to do this. Then, in a blinding light, Gideon stabbed her through the abdomen and he disappeared, leaving Emma lying on the pavement. It couldn’t end this way. Their love couldn’t end this way. And it wouldn’t. Henry gave her a final kiss, told her he loved her, and then True Love’s rainbow spread out over Storybrooke, and Emma was alive and in his arms once again.

A lascivious smile came over his face, and he popped an eyebrow as more memories came crashing into mind.

“Did you miss me?”

Tag List: (Let me know if you want to be added or removed)

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[nomadthor]

SNAKE CHARMER STORY SYNOPSIS: ON A MISSION STEVE AND BUCKY STUMBLE ON SOMEONE THAT WOULD CHANGE BOTH OF THEIR LIVES DRAMATICALLY. OC X BUCKY

SNAKE CHARMER — CHAPTER 1: BLOOD IN THE SNOW WORD COUNT: 1573 CHAPTER: 1/?

Bleak would be an understatement. The force in which the snowflakes descended from the overcast leaden sky was intense, the vicious howling of the polar wind almost concealed the aggressive crunching of the packed snow that resulted from the heavy footsteps of the super-soldier. Roger’s face stung as the harsh weather whipped against his bare skin, but that wasn’t remotely close to his main concern at the moment. “You have eyes on our target?” He hoarsely queried with a frigid finger firmly planted on the earpiece that was nestled in his ear.

One arctic breath at a time, a fleeting misty cloud escaped the Captain's lips as he glanced over to the rugged and mountainous overlook where his reconnaissance partner was currently laying prone with a sniper. Bucky propped himself up as he lifted his scruff-covered chin from the Barrett M82; elbows dampened from the polar terrain however his thick, arctic navy jacket was able to absorb most of the moisture, along with his insulated black cargo pants. “Affirmative.” “I don’t know what SHIELD thinks is so important about this cargo but we’re going to find out.” Steve brooded, finally spotting the consignment truck being escorted by armoured vehicles as it approached the ambush zone. Whilst the weather only continued to get worse, almost as if the sky was collapsing in on itself, it was only progressively getting more difficult to see. He winced from the unforgiving forecast, his cheeks ablaze and flushed an effulgent crimson as the blood rushed to the surface. Placing a tremulous hand in front of his wind-slashed face to prevent any further damage, he kept an eye on the oncoming convoy. “Get ready, Cap,” Bucky forewarned as he clasped his metal fingers around the handguard of the weapon, attentively staring down the scope preparing to line up his shot. Steve firmed the grip on his now frost engulfed shield before he crouched beside the sleet enfolded thoroughfare, slush squeezing through the gaps in his attire and dampening his compression tights that underlined his suit. The track was enclosed by a few dark jagged boulders which he was able to conveniently use as cover. A gentle mechanical hum and buzz of the engines began to blare as their tires sloshed through the wet terrain, murky water being spat out from beneath the vehicles. They finally got close enough for Steve to strike; he swung his arm back before throwing it forward at an unfathomable speed, clenching his teeth whilst he did so. His jaw was clasped so tight he could already feel the oncoming dull ache that would be lingering for a few hours. Steve's metal disk sliced through the air before making contact with the first armoured vehicle. It toppled immediately, the cacophony of automotive screeching combined with the terrific thud of the shield impaling the vehicle could probably have been heard for miles. A dull and dense gunshot swiftly followed as it eliminated the driver of the target truck, its windshield riotously shattering into millions of pieces. Bucky didn’t even need to bother with the first vehicle as it had now combusted into a burning pile of shrapnel all thanks to Steve, the passengers charring corpses would be seen with enough attention.

The thunderous explosion from Bucky’s sniper was resounding as it left a shrill ringing in Steve’s ears. He raced to recollect his shield, lungs burning as he breathed in the glacial air whilst panting but he powered through. Almost skidding along the slick ground and grazing his hands, he managed to balance himself before he desperately reached out towards the wedged metal discus as he needed to protect himself from the impending gunfire. The target truck came to a screeching stop as the driver, who had a bullet lodged between his eyes, was slumped over the steering wheel and no longer in control. Blood daubed the dashboard. For a speedy intermission, Steve pressed his back against the truck's front grill as he took a few unsteady breaths. His heart was using his ribcage as a punching bag. It’s all he could focus on as his ears thumped, his head pounded before he forced a swallow to soothe his scratchy, dry throat. Bang. Another shot from Bucky’s sniper vibrated through his ears as he finally caught his breath. The men started shouting in an indistinguishable language from behind him, their feet clomping against the blood—stained ground. Tactical grenades clanked on their belt as he continued forward, along with the assault rifles in their hands as they passed each gap of the vehicles ready to shoot. Steve arose and peered over the glass shard-coated truck as he anticipated their appearance like a snake waiting for its prey. His gaze was focused: any movement and he was ready to strike. Unexpecting, the antagonists who were wearing winter flecktarn camouflage cautiously strode past the passenger door before Steve threw his shield with just as much strength as he did before. They rebounded through the air before landing on their spines with a solid thump. His aquamarine eyes fell to the two men who writhed in pain, clenching their freshly injured backs before falling limp as Steve finished them off leaving his shield stained.

A swift movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention, a huge figure loomed across from him with an AK-47 pointed directly at him. Scowling, he growled out of pure aggression causing his face to glow red and veins to pop out of his forehead. If it were a cartoon you would have seen the steam rising from his scalp. What felt like it was too late, Steve cowered behind his shield, tucking all of his limbs away like a turtle would with its shell. Bang. Steve didn’t feel any recoil at all, his shield would at least vibrate, or shudder in his grasp but that’s when the realization hit him like a brick wall. He repositioned himself as he gradually stood up, snow clinging onto his kneepads. The man that was stood before him was now led lifeless on the ground, a pool of vermillion leaking from the fresh wound as it seeped into the snow. It wasn’t a nice sight to look at that’s for sure, and it definitely didn’t grow on him no matter how many times he’d witnessed it. The blond-haired man swivelled his head to the perch Bucky was laying on as he instinctively smiled. “Bravo Zulu, Buck,” he gratefully mustered through the earpiece as he carefully traipsed around the rest of the vehicles to see if they’d missed anything or anyone. Whilst Steve waited for his better half to convene, the weather began to calm and the storm eventually passed. “Lucky I have your back,” Bucky teased with a half-smirk as he nonchalantly passed the car wreckage. Steve simply scoffed as he trailed Bucky to the back of the target truck, their scuffed combat boots treading in the scarlet snow. “I don’t see how this can be of any importance with this little security,” Steve admitted with a confused tone in his voice before he turned to his buddy standing next to him whose long brown hair was flailing in the wind, straggled snowflakes clung onto several strands.

They stared at each other momentarily before Bucky frowned out of confusion and shrugged his shoulders, his puzzled look planting an amused grin on his partner's lips. “Beats me, pal,” he uttered as he stared at the steel walls of the container. “Well, whatever it is SHIELD seems pretty desperate to get their hands on it.” Steve chimed in as he turned to Bucky who was eagerly awaiting to see what it is. He jabbed the lock off the tailgate with his shield before effortlessly sliding it up, jarring metallic screeching penetrated their eardrums as the pair winced, the truck rumbled as the door hit the top. Steve froze and went whey-faced as his mouth fell ever so slightly agape. Bucky was quick to pick up on Steve’s shock and peered into the large, dark compartment of the vehicle with furrowed brows expecting to see a weapon of mass destruction or perhaps even futuristic machinery. It was for certain that neither of them expected to see a human on the other side.

The sensation that washed over them was eerily similar to the one you get when you fall down the incline of a rollercoaster, where your insides jolt and suspend in your body before following you down. The panic, terror, and adrenaline all rushing through you at once. Bucky's mouth promptly fell dry and a wave of nausea began to rush over him as he couldn’t help but stare at the blinded and bound girl that was tied down at the end of the container, seemingly unconscious. A pin would’ve broken the dead silence if it weren’t for the gently whistling wind. “I think we’ve got what you were looking for,” Steve hesitantly spoke into the earpiece with an aghast, heavy breath. Very indistinct chatter could be heard incoming which would indicate the soon arrival of Nick Fury and a few other operatives from SHIELD to collect what they wanted. “It’s a girl, Steve,” Bucky fearfully croaked as his eyes gradually wandered to the soldier stood beside him whose jaw was firmly clenched and eyes resting on the ground. Steve must have perceived the fear in Bucky’s voice was personal with everything he’d been through, if there was a possibility that this is what the stranger was experiencing then there was nothing more he’d want to do than end all causes. He wouldn’t wish it on his worst enemy. “I know pal,” he reassured his buddy as he gripped Bucky’s shoulder, “She’ll be in better hands now that’s for sure.” MASTERLIST

[we-are-all-obsessed-here]

Heart Strings And Melodies (Modern Musician!Poe AU) Part 21 ~Ending~

(Not my Gif)

Summary: Little Shara finally decides to meet her mother and father.

(Proof-read when tired, so, sorry for any mistakes that might crop up. Please enjoy folks!)

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

“It’s starting to get bad out there.” You noted, turning away from the window in the lounge. Beebee was curled up in front of the fireplace enjoying the warmth from it. Meanwhile Poe was sat on the floor by the coffee table putting new strings on his guitar and keeping up to date with any maintenance.

“The snow will let up soon. We’re not planning on going anywhere. So, we’re good.” Poe stated. There was a slight static like noise before the only light in the room was that of the fireplace.

“Shit.” Poe exclaimed.

“Cursed is what you are Poe. Every time you open your mouth something happens.” You sighed, a smile betraying you.

“Haha, hilarious.” Poe rolled his eyes, his lips quirking up into a ghost of a smile.

“I’ll go get the candles out for later, for if the power doesn’t come back on before it gets dark.” You stated as you began to move slowly towards the cupboard where all your odds and ends were kept. Poe called your name and was at your side in a second.

“Take it easy. Go sit down, I’ll sort the rest out.”

“Poe.” You whined. He gently placed his hand on your bump.

“You’re already a few days past the due date. Lets not have a home birth in the middle of a snow storm.”

“You’ve definitely cursed us now.” You teased. Poe lovingly squeezed your hand and offered you a smile.

“Go read some more of your book. Relax. I’ll go grab the candles for later.”

“Love you.” You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek before starting to return to where you had been sat in the lounge while Poe gathered several candles and placed them on the coffee table. Poe then continued to tinker with his guitar and gathered paints to finish the decorations he’d planned for the body. Meanwhile you settled in a cosy chair by the fire and opened the book you’d balanced on the arm earlier on. Beebee jumped and curled up on your lap as you leaned back and lost yourself in the tale being told on the pages. Every so often you’d close your book and simply watch as Poe painted his guitar, following the lines he’d planned out a few days prior. Poe would bring you a warm drink every now and again, as he’d step away to return to his guitar his lips would press a kiss to your temple. A laugh escaped your lips on the occasions where Poe would absentmindedly pick up one of the two mugs on the coffee table and almost drink his paint water rather than the coffee he’d made himself. Poe cleared his throat, and kept his head down in an attempt to hide the flush across his cheeks.

“God I love you Poe Dameron.” You smiled lovingly at him. Poe looked at you, an almost identical smile on his lips.

“I love you more.” He countered.

“Not possible.” You replied before opening your book again.

A twinge of familiar pain flashed through you and a small sound of discomfort escaped your lips. Poe moved from his kneeling position within a split second, his hand reaching out to take yours, his face etched with worry as his eyes searched your face for any indication that something was wrong.

“I’m fine. Just Braxton Hicks again.”

“You’re sure?” Poe questioned, moving a little closer to you.

“Sure.” You offered him a smile in an attempt to allay the worry in his expression. Squeezing his hand, you then began shuffling to the edge of your seat.

“I’m going to run a warm bath, my back is really starting to hurt again.” You grumbled. Poe helped you to your feet and despite you assertion that you would be absolutely fine running yourself a bath, your husband refused to leave your side. As you stood in the bathroom which Poe had littered with several lit candles, the steam from the freshly filled bath beginning to fill the room, Poe helped you undress. He pressed kisses to each exposed piece of skin, across your collarbone, your shoulder, between your shoulder blades and then slowly further down. Each kiss was a simple declaration of love and care, never once was there intent of anything sexual, just love in its entirety. Poe helped ease you into the bath, made sure you were comfortable then pressed a kiss to the top of your head. He cupped your cheek in his hand and you gently nuzzled into his touch.

“Just shout when you’re done, I’ll come and help you out.”

You nodded your agreement and then you were left to enjoy the peace and warmth of your bath. You began going through the mental list you’d created, making sure that everything was ready for when the baby did decide to arrive. The bedroom was fully decorated now, there was nothing left to do there. Shara had a handful of clothes ready for when she would come home, so there was nothing left to do there. A whole week had been spent making sure all the key items, from baby bottles to sterilisers to just about everything that could be thought of were well stocked in the house, definitely nothing else needed there. Searching through your mental list took you until the bath started dropping cool. Giving Poe a shout, you began shuffling around in the bath, trying your best to get yourself in a position that would make it slightly easier to get out. He appeared a moment later, a towel in his grasp.

“It’s somewhat warm.” Poe admitted, gesturing to the towel.

“What do you mean, somewhat warm?”

“I couldn’t throw it in the dryer for a few minutes, so I had it by the fire instead. Fires out now though, it was getting a bit too warm in there.”

You chuckled softly.

“Thank babe. King of ingenuity.” You smiled sweetly at him. Gently Poe helped you up and out from the bath, pressing a kiss to your cheek he wrapped the towel around your body.

There was a moment between a sudden splash of water hitting the tiled floor and when Poe spoke.

“That’s not…” He cocked a brow.

“No, it’s not bath water Poe!” You sighed. “I think my waters just broke.”

An abrupt wave of pain hit you and you gripped Poe tightly.

“We need to get you to the hospital.” Poe started to guide you out of the bathroom.

“Not in just a towel I’m not Poe Dameron!” You growled out.

“Okay… erm stay here I’ll be right back.” Poe carefully helped you lean against the wall outside the bathroom for support before he dashed towards your bedroom. Several moments passed.

“Poe! What’s taking so long!” You called.

“I’m coming! Hold on!” He shouted back. You could hear footsteps rushing around your room, saw a blur of a figure disappear into the baby’s room and the sound of more hurried footsteps. Then a crash. A curse. Then a very dishevelled Poe appearing, his arms crammed high with clothes and only God knows what.

“Poe we have a to-go bag for a reason y’know.” You sighed, looking at the several days worth of clothes in his grasp.

“Shit.” The handful of clothes dropped to the floor and as Poe went to dash off again he suddenly turned, picked up then handed you a few bits of clothes to get changed into before he disappeared for a second time to reappear with a travel bag.

“Ready?” Poe asked after he helped you shimmy into some loose fitting clothing.

“Ready.” You replied. The walk to the car was slow, especially when it came to passing through the thick layer of snow that covered the path to the car. Poe made sure you were sat securely in the passenger seat before he went to get in the driver’s side, he pressed a kiss to your forehead before he closed your door. The engine roared to life and Poe carefully pulled out of the driveway. The snow was still coming down heavy and despite the roads already having been cleared, the snow was starting to stick and gather across the surface. Another flood of pain overcame you, a short cry left your lips and you screwed your eyes shut and pressed your head into the headrest. You felt Poe grasp your hand and rub comforting circles into your skin.

“Just breathe. You’re going to be fine. I’m going as fast as I can sweetheart.” Poe tried to reassure you. Looking towards your love, his eyes were focused solely on you, filled with worry.

“Poe!” You gave his arm a whack as you shouted, having noticed the cars in front braking. Poe quickly brought the car to a halt as smoothly as possible, just managing to stop as the cars in front began to set off again.

“How about, I focus on trying not to give birth in the car. And you focus on driving.” You gave a nervous chuckle.

“Deal.” Poe breathed.

As you came to the main junction for the turning towards the hospital, the two of you noticed how traffic was moving ever so slowly.

“This doesn’t look good.” Poe noted as you drew closer to the turning you needed. The road had been closed off, traffic being diverted, as an overturned car had been t-boned by a small van and now blocked most of the road.

“Shit.” You cursed, a grunt of discomfort following. Poe slowed as he passed an officer which was directing traffic, much to the frustration of the drivers behind who started to use their horns. The officer came to the window once Poe rolled down the window, the cold air entering the car and making a shudder rush through you.

“We need to get to the hospital, my wife is in labour.” Poe explained, looking over to you quickly to make sure you were alright.

“Carry on and at the next junction keep going straight ahead then take your next right at the junction after that. Should bring you guys back onto the main road,” She directed. “Oh, and congratulations.” She added as Poe started to pull away. Following the directions given, it wasn’t long before you were back on track towards the hospital. Poe turned on the radio, hopeful that it might offer a slight distraction.

“We need to call your dad.” You suddenly remembered. Leaning forward you pressed several buttons on the screen in the centre console and soon the sound of a phone dialling came over the car’s speakers. It took a couple rings before Kes picked up.

“You alright there Poe?” Kes asked immediately.

“We’re heading to the hospital, baby is on the way.” Poe explained briefly.

“I’ll head over as soon as I can, take it easy out there it’s dangerous.”

“We know, there’s already been one crash, had to be diverted to the hospital.” Your disgruntled voice called out. Kes spoke your name softly.

“You take it easy too, I’ll see you both soon, just focus on getting to the hospital.”

The two of you called your goodbyes before Kes hung up. Suddenly you took Poe’s hand tightly in yours as another wave of pain flooded your system, surprising you as you had not expected it.

“We’re almost there.” Poe reassured you.

“Good,” You grumbled. “I’m sick of sitting in this car!” You complained, shifting in your seat. Poe chuckled, he quickly squeezed your hand before returning to focusing on the road.

It wasn’t long after you’d entered the hospital that you were rushed to maternity. After being hooked up to monitoring machines, examined and made comfortable, it soon became a game of waiting for the contractions to be closer together. Poe sat beside you as you reclined in the bed, he held your hand in his.

“Is Kes on his way?” You wondered aloud.

“Dad texted, he set off a bit ago. Might be an hour or two, depending on how things are out there.” Poe answered. You hummed to acknowledge his words then closed your eyes, the contractions beginning to tire you slightly.

“How are you feeling?” Poe questioned, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

“How do you think Poe.” You grumbled, a small smile tugging at your lips. Poe shook his head the leaned over to press a kiss to your forehead. His hand rested on your bump for a moment.

“Hurry you, you’re driving your mother nuts.” Poe teased.

“Reckon she’s like your mum?” You joked.

“Headstrong and stubborn when she wants? Wouldn’t surprise me.”

It was a long waiting game, Poe would tell you random stories, some you’d heard before and others which were new, it took your attention away from the examinations and the slowly growing closer together contractions. You squeezed Poe’s hand tightly during one particularly harsh contraction.

“You’re alright.” Poe spoke your name, trying ever so hard to comfort you but knowing there wasn’t much he could do.

“I feel like I want to push.” You grunted. Poe called for a nurse who gave another examination before confirming your instinct. You hadn’t realised how long labour could last for, although it had all become a bit of a blur, the contractions becoming stronger and the instinct the push taking over. Poe held your hand, helped you change positions when the one you were in became uncomfortable, when possible he’d rub your back in comforting circles. He’d whisper words of encouragement into your ear and hold you close when he could. It was a long while later before the nurses instructed you to stop pushing and to take breaths instead, the baby almost ready to be birthed. With a final yell your baby was brought into this world. Poe cuddled you tightly as high-pitched cries filled the room. Poe let out a small excited laugh as he watched as your baby was cleaned and wrapped in a blanket before being handed to you.

“She looks like you.” You commented tiredly. Poe gently moved the strands of hair that were matted to your sweat streaked forehead and pressed a kiss to your brow.

“She has her mother’s eyes.” Poe added. The small bundle in your arms instinctively cuddled close and you cradled her ever so softly.

“She’s beautiful.” You grinned.

“Just like her mother.”

“Not so much at the minute.” You groaned, shifting slightly in an attempt to get comfy.

“Believe me, post-labour you is looking stunning.” Poe reassured, giving you a bright smile. You laughed.

You eventually found yourself freshened up and dressed in more than just a hospital gown, settled in a bed on the ward. Kes had arrived a few hours ago but now that labour was over he was able to finally visit.

“She’s gorgeous.” Kes admitted as he held your daughter.

“She is, isn’t she.” You smiled.

“How’re you feeling?” Kes wondered, gently passing little Shara back to you.

“Exhausted and everything hurts and aches, but otherwise I’m absolutely fine.” You answered.

“Good.” Kes gave your hand a squeeze then turned to his son who had just entered your room. He passed one of the coffee cups in his hand to his father then came to sit by your side.

“We might be stuck here for a bit.” Poe explained, taking a sip of his drink then placing it down on a nearby table.

“Why?”

“Since we’ve been in here, the snow has really come down. It might be a longer drive home.”

You groaned in annoyance.

“As if the ride here wasn’t bad enough.”

You searched for the nearest window and seeing the still falling snow, you frowned.

“You just had to arrive in the middle of all this didn’t you?” You looked down to Shara whose hand was trying to grasp at your clothing, little unintelligible sounds escaping her mouth. The vague annoyance you had about the weather outside melted away and you gently stroked Shara’s cheek, a smile finding its way onto your face. Poe leaned forward in his chair and took your hand, his thumb gently rubbing small circles into your skin, he then pressed a kiss to your knuckles and offered you a smile as he pulled back.

“I almost forgot.” Kes noted, bending down to pick up a gift bag. Poe gently took Shara from your arms, and you watched in adoration as he slowly stepped towards the hospital cot, bouncing her softly in his arms and making unintelligible noises as he put his face close to hers and smiling. You smiled as Poe made his way back to your side once Shara was safely in the cot. Kes offered you the bag and shuffling to a sitting position you then opened it. A small teddy bear was the first thing you took out. You gave it a quick squeeze, feeling how soft it was and with help from Poe, placed it in the corner of Shara’s cot. Reaching in again, you grasped a crocheted blanket. Lifting it out, you held it up to get a good look at it. It was primarily white and in the corner you spotted Shara’s name stitched in black.

“Kes this is beautiful.” You beamed.

“Reminds me of-“

Kes nodded towards the bag. Poe cocked a brow and peered inside. A smile tugged at his lips as he reached in and pulled out another blanket. This one looked a little worn, the wool frayed in areas. Poe showed it to you, spreading it out across your lap, his thumb running slowly over the name in the corner. Poe. 

“Shara made that one too” Kes motioned to the blanket with Shara’s name on it. “It was blank of course. I added the name,” Kes went on. You glanced at the two names and noted how one seemed a little neater than the other. “I’ve been practicing, but I’m still not as good as your mother. Anyway... she thought or well… she hoped that you’d have children of your own someday and she knew she might not be around for that day. So she made a couple before she passed-“

“A couple?” Poe cocked a brow, a smile playing on his lips but when you looked over you could see his eyes becoming glassy with barely held back tears.

“Your mom was… very hopeful,” Kes smiled. “I’ve kept them safe and well-looked after over the years so I could give you it when it was time.”

Poe was speechless and simply brought his father into a tight hug, burying his face in his shoulder. You wiped a tear from your cheek, touched by Kes’ and the late Shara’s gift. Poe cleared his throat as he pulled away from his father, his hands coming up to wipe the tears away. Kes himself was fighting tears and offered his son, and then you a soft smile.

“Thank you so much Kes. I haven’t got the words to say how much this means. I really wish I could’ve met her.” You sniffed a little as you gently rubbed the soft wool of the blanket in your grasp.

“I know I’ve said it before but she would’ve loved you,” Kes smiled at you, a glimmer of sadness in his expression. “I should let you get some rest. I’ll come by later, probably with some better food than what you can get here.”

“Thank you Kes, for all of this,” You looked over to Poe. “I imagine you’ll want to talk to your dad. I’ll be fine on my own for a while.”

Poe stepped over to you and captured your lips in a loving kiss. He gave you a nod and turned to leave. He stroked little Shara’s cheek before leaving with Kes.

The following morning you were cleared to go home, Kes and Poe walked on either side of you as you took the slow journey back towards the car. Once you were in the passengers seat, Kes leaned in and pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“Take care. The both of you.” Kes then turned to Poe who had just finished securing your sleeping newborn in the vehicle. 

“We will.” Poe smiled then brought his father in for a hug.

“I’ll speak to you both soon. For now I’ll let you get home and get some rest,” Kes clamped a hand on Poe’s shoulder. “Get it while you can, this one always decided to cry the moment you shut your eyes.” Kes motioned to Poe with his thumb.

“Well lets hope Shara doesn’t take after her dad in that sense.” You smiled softly.

“I love you both. Take care.” Kes stepped back and watched as Poe got in the car and began the trip home. Thankfully, the journey was uneventful, the thick layer of snow that had fallen luckily hadn’t effected the roads too much, and soon enough Poe was pulling up the driveway. The warmth of your home welcomed you as you stepped through the door. Poe had already made the trip home a few hours after the birth of Shara to make sure the power was working and to feed his tabby. A few steps in and Beebee was at your side within a moment. The tabby appeared curious at the bundle in your arms, pawing at your leg and becoming rather verbal.

“Beebee, hold on a minute.” You chuckled, stepping further into your home. Shara still remained asleep in your arms. Poe followed in behind you, carrying the to-go bag and heading towards your bedroom.

“Hungry?” Poe called as he came back into view. He placed the moses basket in his grasp in the lounge, ready for you to place Shara in.

“Definitely!”

“Get comfy and I’ll whip something up.” Poe rubbed your shoulder as he passed by, offering you a gentle smile. While the sounds of Poe cooking emanated from the kitchen, you decided to find a comfy spot on the sofa. The moment you sat, Beebee jumped up beside you, his head moving to try and get a clear look at what you held. Very slowly you tipped Shara in Beebee’s direction, the tabby putting its front paws on your leg and peering at the newborn. Beebee took a tentative sniff then drew back before curling up at your side and purring. Eventually Poe returned to the lounge with two plates, he placed them both on the coffee table in front and motioned for you to pass Shara to him. After, Poe very carefully laid Shara in the nearby moses basket. You shuffled forward and took the two plates, passing one to Poe once he sat beside you.

“Thanks.” You spoke before starting to eat.

“Welcome.” Poe replied through a mouthful of food. For a time the two of you enjoyed the temporary silence that filled your home. Waiting for the moment little Shara would wake and call desperately for her parents attention. 

The remainder of the day passed, Poe and yourself interacting with Shara during the moments when she would wake, then enjoying the moments when she was asleep to get some semblance of rest. Before you realised, it was nightfall and the exhaustion that had been hampering you all day finally started to tug at you. Looking at Poe, whose head was resting slightly on your shoulder, his expression was that of a tiredness.

“We should head to bed babe.” You whispered. Poe hummed in agreement and after a slight groan he shuffled off the sofa and held a hand out to you. You took it gratefully and eventually found your feet. Poe took the little bundle out of the basket and carefully passed Shara to you before lifting the basket itself and carrying it towards your bedroom. Shara didn’t stir as you followed behind Poe and once the basket was placed near to your bed, you slowly placed her back inside. Leaning down you pressed a kiss to the top of her head. It was a slow process getting ready for bed, but soon enough you were under the covers with Poe by your side.

“It’s been a long day.” Poe noted, propping himself up with the last reserves of energy he had.

“It’s going to be an even longer couple months before things settle back down.” You added. Poe smiled softly, his gaze passing over the basket before returning to you. He shuffled closer and wrapped you in his arms, his fingers gently playing with your hair for a time before he rested his head beside yours.

“Completely worth it. Sleepless nights here we come.” He teased, you could hear the tired smile in his voice. You turned and pressed a loving kiss to his cheek, as you began to turn away, Poe’s hand came up to cup your cheek gently to keep you close. He leaned in and pressed several kisses your lips, some long and passionate, others short and sweet, either way you were both left breathless.

“You’re a remarkable woman.” Poe spoke with certainty. He gave you a quick squeeze then settled down beside you.

“I’m also lucky,” You added in a whisper. “To have you. To have you both.” Your gaze fell on the basket where your baby slept.

“We’re lucky to have you too.” Poe replied in a whisper, you felt his lips against your skin then felt as he relaxed. With Poe holding you, and the exhaustion of the day, it didn’t take too much longer for sleep to find you.

A cry woke you from your sleep and you grumbled as you slowly slipped out of bed, Poe stirred but after some reassurance he seemed to drop back off to sleep. You stepped over and took Shara in your arms then quietly stepped out of your bedroom, shushing your newborn and gently rocking her in your arms. You soon settled down in the armchair placed in Shara’s bedroom and started to feed her.

“You’re going to be trouble I can feel it.” You smiled lovingly at your little girl. For a time you just sat there, enjoying the relative peace and the quiet sounds of your baby. You held her close against you afterwards, rocking her and shushing her as she began to fuss again. The sound of heavy shuffling footsteps drew your gaze to the door where Poe tiredly stumbled through.

“Everything alright?” Poe wondered, his voice full of sleep.

“She’s just hungry. Go back to bed.”

“Not without you, I’m not.” Poe rubbed the sleep from his eyes and came to sit on the arm of the chair. He stroked your hair softly, humming gently as he watched how you soothed little Shara. Slowly you passed her to Poe, letting him gently stroke her cheek and whisper soothing, loving words to her. He held her for a time, gently bouncing her to encourage her to back towards sleep. Poe carefully placed Shara in your arms and placed his hand on your shoulder. You pressed a loving kiss to the top of your little girl’s head then cradled her close to your chest as you leaned back in the armchair.

“Isn’t she just gorgeous Poe?” You enthused.

“Just like her mother.” Poe smiled, his fingers running through your hair before they rested on your jaw to guide you in for a passionate kiss. He then disappeared from the room for a moment before returning, his guitar case in hand. You smiled softly at him as he began to take out the instrument.

“Daddy is going to play for you Shara. Your daddy makes the most beautiful music, just listen.” You spoke gently to your newborn. The small bundle made an unintelligible noise before nuzzling closer. Poe sat beside you, his guitar resting on his thigh and he began to play. The music was quiet, slow, calming. A lullaby. Then a moment later, Poe began to sing. You realised then why the music sounded familiar, Poe was singing his Mother’s song. Your baby’s namesake. There in the dim light, you shared a loving look with your husband before gazing at the child in your arms. The music drifted around the three of you, wrapping you in its comfort. You watched as little Shara closed her eyes ever so slowly and eventually succumbed to sleep. And as you sat there with your eyes beginning to flicker close, a mix of exhaustion and peace coming over you, you thought fondly of all the years to come. Of all the years of love yet to share between the three of you. Of the memories to be made. Of how perfect all this was. And how it all started one night in a bar listening to a wonderful man playing the most beautiful music you’d ever heard.

~Fin~

Tagged:

@petah-parkah-and-potahtas @mirkwoodshewolf @sleepretreat @jessicaguerreiro07 @pdamn-eron @imagine-that-star-wars @yourwonderbelle @imaginecrushes @simplyonehellofapilot @unstoppableforcce @mirkwoodavengersherlockianwhofan @pinkdreamsandglitter @i-said-goddameron @ghost-with-spaghetti-arms @sassy-satanunicorns

@ponycake27

@playbucky​​

@arrowswithwifi​​

[rogerblackwolf]

The Angel

Containment Facility 204

60 miles south of Fairbanks, Alaska.

-Modern Day-

A single black Osprey VTOL flew over the snow covered land, a full moon helping illuminate the nighttime sky. The winds caused some turbulence but the pilots were experienced enough to handle it, the single passenger however found it to be a little rough. The passenger shifted in her seat to look out the window at the expanse of white land and the mountains they were heading towards, in the distance she noticed some dark clouds which the moon helped outline. Another gust of wind shook the Osprey, and before long the snow began falling again, thankfully their destination was in sight. The lights of the mountainside were like a Christmas tree, lighting the way for them to land, the Osprey's twin engines slowly turned upward allowing for it to land on a massive helipad. Once on the ground the woman grabbed her two suitcases and got blasted by the cold air as the ramp was dropped.

A couple of men in uniforms immediately came up to her and got her to a waiting vehicle nearby. They drove from the helipad and into an open illuminated tunnel, just as the snow began to fall. A perk of getting stationed in Alaska during the winter months. The first thing she noticed upon entering the mountain was the massive interior hanger which held several other Ospreys. The car then drove down another tunnel and stopped at a service entrance for the personnel.

"Now ma'am, go inside to the front desk, they'll show you where to go." The driver said.

"Thank you. I appreciate the help." She said before grabbing her suitcases and heading inside. Once inside she was greeted by one of a pair of men at the front desk who stood and asked;

"Ms. Clark?"

"Yes. That's me." She replied, putting her hood down and removing her beanie.

"Do you have your ID badge?" The man asks

"Yes right here." Clark said, taking it out of her jacket pocket.

The man looked it over and checked against the file on the computer. 

"Please place your right thumb on this." He says whilst putting a small scanner on the counter. Clark obliged, taking her gloves off and placing her thumb on the scanner. After some more typing the man gave back her badge before asking her to follow him, leading her down a hallway to an elevator. Next to the doors was what looked like an electric lock where the man inserted his ID badge, once the light turned from red to green a hidden plate opened next to it, revealing a scanner with the outline of a handprint. The man put his hand in the outline, a line of light quickly ran the length of his hand before a green arrow pointing up above the doors lit up.

"When the doors close, put your badge into the lock, follow the instructions given and you'll be fine." He says.

"Thank you." Clark replies.

"Enjoy your stay, ma'am." The man said before walking away. A few moments later the elevator rang and the doors opened. Once inside, Clark put her ID badge into the lock and a hidden plate opened to her right revealing another handprint scanner and a retinal scanner. A small screen also lit up with a set of instructions; the first being 'Place right hand in the scanner.', once she did so, another instruction came onto the screen 'Look directly into the lens.' 

Clark looked into the lens and a pair of lights scanned both her eyes. When the lights stopped she blinked with relief, and the last instruction came on-screen 'Report to Dr. Malcolm on Level 4.' Clark pressed the number 4 button and felt the elevator beginning to descend. She unzipped her winter coat and undid her light brown hair which stopped at her shoulders. She took a deep breath, nervous of what would happen next since this was new to her. She glanced at her watch, 9:45 pm, not terribly late but she didn't ponder it as the elevator opened again, this time welcomed to a reception area that split into a couple of hallways. She was met by a receptionist, a young woman with auburn hair tied in a bun and dressed in formal business attire, who happily showed her to Dr. Malcolm's office. The women entered as the man inside was in the process of putting some files away and locking the cabinet. Dr. Malcolm was easily six feet tall, had long blonde hair with some grey mixed in that was tied into a ponytail, clean shaven with an angular face, and dull grey eyes. He also had faint bags under his eyes, probably not the type of man to get much sleep.

"Ms. Clark, welcome to Containment Facility 204." Dr. Malcolm said, shaking her hand firmly before leaning against his desk.

"Thank you, Doctor." Ms. Clark said standing in front of him.

"My name is Dr. Howard Malcolm, I am the Head Researcher and Overseer for this facility. I'm sure you have many questions but I'm also sure you are tired so I'll show you where you'll be staying and get you settled. Shall we?" He asks, leading the way out of his office and holding the door for her. Clark followed him down a hallway and up some stairs to another hallway where there were multiple doors on both sides with room numbers. They stopped at a room near the end of the hall and Clark noticed the lock required a key card.

Dr. Malcolm stepped aside letting her do the honors. Clark inserted her badge and entered, being welcomed with what looked like a high-end hotel room. It had a full sized bed, a bathroom with a shower, a small living area with a tv and workspace, and even a kitchen with a fully stocked fridge. It was devoid of decorations but that could be fixed in due time. Clark put her suitcases at the foot of the bed before taking her heavy coat off.

"Make yourself at home, and in the morning we'll get you set up for your job here, anyway I'll leave you to it. Goodnight Dr. Clark." Dr. Malcolm said, closing the door before she could reply.

Dr. Clark quickly got acclimated after a simple dinner and getting unpacked. Without much else to do she decided to go to sleep even if she was still a bit nervous.

Awakened by her alarm, Clark stumbled out of bed and made some coffee before taking a quick shower and having some toast. She then got dressed in a plain blouse, skirt that went past her knees, plain black flats and some light makeup, first impressions and all. She got a knock at her door as she put on her lab coat and attached her badge.

"Yes?" She asked through the door.

"It's Dr. Malcolm." 

Clark opened up to the man who waved with a smirk.

"Morning Ms. Clark, How was your first night?" He asked.

"Good. I was about to come and find you actually." She said

"Well, if you're ready I'll give you the tour and get your security clearance settled." He said.

Clark nodded before following Dr. Malcolm through the halls of the facility. They passed multiple other Researchers and men in security uniforms, the researchers carried files and iPad devices but they still managed to wave or say a morning greeting. Before long, Clark and Malcolm arrived in the main control center where she was given an iPad that, among other things, showed a map of the level she was on. She noticed how it was rather Labyrinthine in design, but with the map handy she'd adapt with time. Dr. Malcolm explained how the facility housed many creatures that resembled folkloric creatures but each was unique in a way. Each of the creatures were separated by level as were the researchers who studied them. Dr. Malcolm introduced the head of security, a tall imposing man with broad shoulders and short black hair named Andrew, to Clark. He asked her for her ID badge which he told her was only a temporary one, he showed her to an area with a camera and a blue screen. Andrew took her picture, a couple minutes later, she had a new ID badge and finally turned a mic toward her.

"Ok, last thing, speak your full name and credentials." Andrew said pressing a button on the desk next to the mic.

"Dr. Amelia D. Clark, PhD in Philology." She said.

Andrew then typed on the computer before speaking again;

"Ok, the software now recognizes you as part of the staff. Congrats." He said with a smirk.

"Thank you." Clark replied.

"Now onto the reason you are here. Follow me please." Dr. Malcolm said, having Dr. Clark follow him as he walked and talked;

"Dr. Clark, you were selected out of a roster of one hundred and fifty individuals, and only your credentials stood out the most. Received your Master's from the University of Pennsylvania, top of your class, and you did your field study at the British Museum and the Louvre. All impressive." Dr. Malcolm said.

"Well yes...so where am I gonna be placed, and why was I chosen?" She asked

"You'll be placed with Research Team 18, they're looking into one of the creatures stored here. One that's quite...unique." Dr. Malcolm said.

They came to a room with a few other researchers working on a number of different artifacts. On one table was a tablet covered in writings that looked like some form of cuneiform, another had an ornate dagger covered with similar symbols along its edge, and the two last tables had many jewelry pieces from a necklace and rings to bejeweled bracelets. One Researcher came up to the duo, an older man with balding hair and some grey peach fuzz on his face but he still seemed  able for his age.

"Dr. Clark, this will be your lead researcher Dr. Luke Allen. Dr. Allen, meet our latest addition, Dr. Amelia Clark." Malcolm introduced.

"Oh yes, the new linguist." Dr. Allen said, extending his hand to her.

"I'm actually a Philologist sir." Amelia replied, shaking his hand firmly.

"What's the difference?" Allen asked.

"A Linguist studies languages spoken today, including dialects used by small populations, while a Philologist studies ancient texts and the evolution of ancient languages a linguist would consider "dead" languages because they only exist in writing, like Sanskrit, Old English, and Old High German." Amelia explained.

"Well then, what language did you study?" Allen asked.

"My focus was Assryiology." Amelia answered.

"If you would, I'm certain our guest is awake by now. And I think it's safe to say that Dr. Clark likes a challenge on her first day." Dr. Malcolm said, looking at Amelia.

"Well, I guess no time like the present." Amelia replied.

"Alright. Good luck." Dr. Malcolm said before taking his leave.

Dr. Allen escorted Amelia through a couple of corridors and down a hallway with several contained creatures. The cells themselves were made of impact resistant metal and the doors looked like glass but it let out an electrical pulse when touched. In one cell was what resembled a massive feline with a wolf-like head that paced back and forth snarling at the researchers as they passed. Another cell had a polar bear but it was larger and had bony horns protruding from its body. It took a swipe at the door before getting a powerful shock that made it recoil. 

Dr. Allen showed her to a quieter passage that held some of the more docile creatures, like a supersized elk that reminded her of a Megalocerus and an overgrown bison that appeared to have bony plates on its head and shoulders. While amazed, Amelia was surprised when they arrived at a pair of heavy doors with a hand scanner next to them. Dr. Allen scanned his hand and the doors began unlocking before opening, Dr. Allen stepped in first followed by Amelia. Inside was a circular room comparable in size to Amelia's room, it had stacks of books, magazines, even DVDs and CDs. In four corners of the room were cameras, one of which focused on the researchers as they entered. There was a bed in the corner that had been made and a TV playing a popular show on the opposite end, what surprised her more was the one watching it. The figure turned off the TV, setting the remote aside before standing to turn towards the duo.

He was humanoid, easily seven feet tall, dressed in a gold and white robe with vestments draped over his shoulders, and smooth, tanned skin with golden hair that showered down his back. He also had a pair of feathered wings that sprouted from his back. Amelia was first stricken by how handsome he was but then saw he was hovering in place.

"Good morning Dr. Allen." He said.

"Good morning Subject 11572. This is our new addition." Dr. Allen replied.

The humanoid turned to Amelia and extended his hand to her. Amelia took it and began to introduce herself.

"Hello I'm-"

"Dr. Amelia Clark, PhD in Philology, graduated from the University of Pennsylvania. Among other things." He said.

"Uhm." She responded.

"Yeah he does that. Anyway, this is Subject 11572, we often refer to him as the Angel for obvious reasons." Dr. Allen says nonchalantly.

"Apologies if I overstepped." The Angel said.

"Oh it's fine, I'm just starting to get used to things here." Amelia chuckled. The Angel smirked in response.

"Dr. Clark will be responsible for studying you from now on. I'll be monitoring the interview from the observation room. Good luck." Dr. Allen said, taking his leave.

Amelia nearly protested but figured this could likely be a test so she took a deep breath and turned back to the Angel.

"May I offer you a seat?" He asked, hovering to the side to offer a couple of chairs.

"Sure. Thank you." She said taking a seat just as the Angel followed suit. 

Amelia pulled up the file on the Angel and read some details while the Angel sat patiently, she couldn't really gauge his emotions if he had any to begin with. She finally spoke by reading off his bio.

"This file says you were found in 1976 on one of the Aleutians. How'd you arrive there?"

"I chose to come to your world as an ambassador. The portal sent me to the islands, I was found by the local tribesmen who welcomed me with food and drink. Your agents found me, I surrendered and I've been here ever since." He responded.

"Ok, how did you know my name and credentials without me or Dr. Allen telling you?" She asked.

"I am able to tell a lot about a person by reading their aura." He says

"Aura?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"All humans have an aura, a byproduct of the magical lifeblood that exists in all Creation. I can see and gain a basic understanding of a person by simply reading it, such as if they are good or hold other intentions. However by physically touching a person I can see many more details, like their name, family, etcetera." He explains.

"What did you sense from me and Dr. Allen?" Amelia asks.

"Dr. Allen hides no ulterior motives but he has his own problems like many humans. He is trustworthy despite being easily irritated. Your aura is nervous but good, you're worried you won't do a good job. Perhaps due to your past experiences of clumsiness." The Angel speculated.

Amelia blushed in embarrassment before continuing. 

"So do you have a name? Or are you ok with being referred to as "Angel"?" She asked.

"My name is inscribed on the tablet I brought with me, I cannot tell you it though. And for the sake of simplicity, I've allowed myself to accept the moniker." He says. 

"Why can't you tell me your name?" Amelia asks curiously.

"Telling you my name creates a bond that cannot be easily broken, and allows you access to my knowledge. However, the cost for such knowledge could overwhelm your mind to the point of insanity, if it doesn't destroy you outright. By learning my name, that is a sign that you could stand a chance of surviving and retaining what I show you." He says.

"Sounds simple enough." Amelia said with a nervous chuckle.

The Angel chuckled with her and she caught him with a faint smile, she blushed in response.

The interview went on for roughly another hour before Amelia was called to conclude it. She thanked the Angel and exited the room meeting with Dr. Allen as the doors shut and locked behind her. Amelia then asked Dr. Allen to show her the tablet, when they got back to the research room, Amelia began studying the object. It was 12 inches tall, 6 inches wide, half an inch thick, had rounded edges, and looked like it was made of some metallic alloy but it was considerably lighter. Etched into its surface were symbols that covered only the front side, they resembled the writings of ancient Babylon which gave Amelia a lead.

She downloaded scans of the tablet onto her iPad while also trying to see if she recognized any of the symbols herself. The other researchers helped by getting her some books and journals on cuneiform, and lots of coffee. Many hours passed and Amelia was only able to translate a few sentences talking about a great mission and a person to bring unity. Amelia finally decided to hit the hay and took her iPad with her to her room, she made a sandwich for dinner and showered before looking at the scan of the tablet. She finally decided to let her iPad go through the translation program through the night so she could get some sleep. 

The next morning, Amelia got up and went about her routine, just finishing her first cup of coffee when her iPad suddenly dinged. Upon opening it, the program had finished its translation, which excited her enough she immediately began reading. In essence the tablet spoke of a civil war between the forces of Creation, in the end the rebellion leader was cast from the realm along with his followers. The realm of Creation elected one of their own to go to the Earth so that he could teach mankind the importance of unity even among enemies. To see past the differences of one another and instead see what makes them human. 

The strange thing though was the last sentence was incomplete simply reading 'The Watcher has been chosen, he will be known to mankind by his given name of-' with the last word unable to be translated. Amelia got ready for the day and took her findings to Dr. Allen who, after reading the translation, told her to see if she could decipher it. As she poured through journal after journal, she grew frustrated due to not finding what she needed. As a result she sat at her desk staring blankly at her open books and iPad which had the untranslated word that vexed her mind. Suddenly it came to her.

The word consisted of six letters not just Babylonian but each letter was from a different language of the region. One was from the Sumerian language, another from Assyrian, and Amorite. She wrote out the letters in order, finding them to make sense as she translated them down to the English alphabet. Finally it spelled a name she could read but, despite her eureka moment, she didn't want to reveal it just yet. She went to Dr. Allen, who then took her to see Dr. Malcolm, and needless to say he was surprised by her discovery.

"I think we should consult our guest." Dr. Malcolm said, leading them to the holding cell. This time the Angel was reading a book with a hard cover and a title in Italian. He closed it before standing to greet the trio as the door closed behind them.

"Doctors Clark, Allen, and Malcolm. How are you all this day?" He asks.

"We believe that we have finally translated your tablet, and your name, thanks to the work of Dr. Clark." Malcolm said.

The Angel's brow arched as he turned to Amelia.

"You believe you know my name?" He asked.

"I do, and though I am new here I also believe that these two can be trusted with your secret." Amelia said.

"For security purposes, this device was programmed with your name, whenever your name is said the device will distort it. Keep in mind though that my superiors will be able to hear the unaltered version. Knowing this, are these measures satisfactory?" Dr. Malcolm asked, showing a small recording device.

"They are." The Angel said after a moment of thought.

Once the measures were in place, Dr. Malcolm and Dr. Allen let Amelia take the lead. 

"Your name...is Anauel." 

The Angel, who was hovering in place, landed on his feet. His eyes had a glossy glow before but they now took on a more human color, that of a bright blue.

"You are correct." He said before he took a seat, the rest following suit.

"You have many questions, I will answer them as well as I can. No holding back." Anauel said.

[sidehowriting]

Christmas Past

Masterlist in Bio!

A/N: Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! I hope you’re enjoying the holiday time! I shall be enjoying mine in Disney World with the boy and his family! What better way to celebrate this time then with some Christmas angst? This was written for 2 challenges. 1st is @capcountdownchristmas Count Down to Christmas and 2nd is @avengerscompound Take a Line Writing Challenge! The prompts just worked so well together so I had to combine them. 

Prompt 1:  Breaking up at Christmas

Prompt 2:  Why is duty such a jealous master?  Can it never share the heart with love? (not used as a quote but for inspiration)

Pairings: Steve x Reader

Summary: Steve is always late to Christmas. 

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: Angst, swears, fluff, light drinking, pregnancy, worry of miscarriage

Year 1 

"So, where's this secret boyfriend of yours?" Your coworker had asked you this question more times than you could count. It was starting to get annoying.

"He'll be here." You glanced at your watch again, noting that now he was officially an hour late. You knew he would be late but didn't know by how much.

"Mm hm." She sipped her cocktail, eyebrows raised. She didn't believe you. And that was fine. You didn't need her to. 

You rolled your eyes and headed to the bar, glad your company didn't skimp out and made it open. "Another daiquiri, please," you said, head bent over your clutch purse to fish out another single for a tip.

"Can I buy you a drink?" A work holiday party was the last place you wanted to get hit on. Especially when you were impatiently waiting for your date. 

"It's an open bar," you retorted, ready to take down whoever dare flirt with you. Your glare instantly fell when you realized who was talking. 

"Steve!" You threw your arms around his neck, hugging him closely. "You made it!"

"Of course, doll." He rubbed your back warmly. "I'm sorry I'm so late. I stopped to change first. I didn't think a bloody, dirty mission suit would be appropriate."

You pulled back, taking in his appearance. Besides the damp hair and dark circles under his eyes he looked fitting for a work Christmas party: a nice button up, dark slacks, just the faintest whiff of cologne. Stroking your thumb against his cheek you said, "It doesn't matter how late you are. You came."

His stare into your eyes were always intense and this time was no different. Such a sharp shade of blue piercing right into your soul. You closed your eyes, cutting off his gaze as you leaned into kiss him.

Your lips had just barely touched when your coworkers voice sounded. "Oh my god!" You pulled away from Steve, seeing your friend standing there, openly gawking. "Your secret boyfriend is Captain America!?"

"Surprise," you said sheepishly, glancing from your coworker to Steve. The two of you hadn't said that you were officially dating and felt uncomfortable that your coworker was the one to bring it up. 

If it bothered him, he didn't let on, however. He simply stuck out his right hand, the left going to the small of your back. "Steve Rogers. Pleasure to meet you." Him and your friend shook hands and any awkwardness you were worried about feeling never came. Everything seemed natural. 

And it continued that way for the rest of the night. Everyone you talked to was pleasant and warm to Steve. They weren’t as overbearing as you thought they might be. That, mixed with the free alcohol, you were having a great party. 

By the time the event came to a close, you were happy and pleasantly tipsy. You had carpooled with your coworker who had offered to give you a ride back home as well. “I’ll make sure she gets home safely,” Steve offered instead. You weren’t going to turn down that offer. After hugging your friend goodbye, she left, leaving the two of you alone.  

Steve pulled out his cell phone from his pocket, pressing a few buttons. You tried to stand on your tiptoes to see, but the alcohol made your balance unsteady. Steve chuckled softly, wrapping and arm around you to keep you up. “Whacha doin’?” You asked, still feeling wobbly. 

“Tony felt bad we were so late getting home from the mission, so he had one of his drivers take me here. I’m just letting him know we’re ready to leave.” He placed his phone back in his pocket. “C’mon, let’s head out. He should be here in just a moment.” 

With his arm still around your waist, he led you from the building. As soon as the two of you stepped outside, a sleek black car pulled up, getting you out of the harsh winter air quickly. Ever the gentleman, Steve opened the car door and made sure you got inside safely first. Once he was inside the car as well, you gave the driver your address and off you went.  

“So,” Steve started as the driver pulled onto the main road, “secret boyfriend, huh?” Even in your intoxicated state, you caught the humor in his voice. 

You giggled more than you would have if you were sober. “I’m sorry! I didn’t know what else to say to her. The whole department really. They wouldn’t leave me alone when I said I was bringing a date to the Christmas party.” 

“I’ve been called a lot worse than a secret boyfriend.” He reached across the seat to take your hand. “Maybe we could lose the ‘secret’ part, huh?”

Warmth spread throughout your body as you looked from your joint hands to his face. “Yeah,” you said, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “Okay. No secret boyfriend. Just boyfriend.” 

His smile matched yours as you both enjoyed the rest of the car ride in silence. The adrenaline was quickly eating away at the alcohol in your veins and by the time the car pulled up to your little apartment you felt much more sober. Steve offered to walk you up the steps and of course you let him. 

“Thank you again for coming tonight, Steve.” You fished around in your clutch again, this time hunting for your keys. 

“Of course, doll. Anything for you. Again, I’m sorry for making you wait.” 

“It’s fine.” You grabbed the keys tightly in your hands. “I’d wait forever for you.” 

As he smiled a few pieces of snow started to fall. You both glanced up, the sky now covered in white dots. “You should probably get inside,” he said, snowflakes landing in his hair. 

“Yeah, I should. It is…” Your phone was a lot easier to find in your small purse. “Midnight. Christmas.”

Everything was falling into place like one of those cheesy holiday movies you enjoyed watching so much. You stood on your tiptoes, now more stable, and planted a soft kiss on his lips. “Goodnight, Steve,” you whispered, slowly pulling away. Tiny flakes were sticking to your eyelashes, giving your vision a white hue. “Merry Christmas.” 

“Merry Christmas, doll.” He gave you one more chaste kiss before going back to the car. It didn’t take off until you were inside your apartment. From the window, you saw the car pull away and disappear into the snowy night. 

Year 2

“This boyfriend of yours coming or what?” Your dad asked, getting the table all set for Christmas dinner. 

You rolled your eyes, putting down the silverware. “He’ll be here.” 

“Well if he doesn’t come soon, we’re gonna eat without him.” Your dad huffed, going back into the kitchen to get more plates. 

You didn’t want to let on how stressed you were about Steve being late. Yes, you knew he would be, saving the world didn’t have a solid timeline, but the more your family bothered you about it the more the anxiety formed inside your chest. 

Once the food was ready, your mother said it was fine to wait a bit longer for Steve to arrive. A few more minutes wouldn’t do any harm. But your father insisted dinner be started. “What kind of boyfriend shows up late to Christmas dinner?”

You sat down across from your dad and folded your napkin onto your lap. “It’s just his line of work, Dad.” 

“And you still haven’t told us what that is.” He was annoyed by the secrets and you couldn’t blame him, but you knew if you told him he would have a hard time believing that as well. 

“You will when he gets here,” you said, coming to Steve’s defense. 

Your father made a comment about how rude it is to be late meeting the parents, especially for Christmas. You chose to ignore it and started passing the food around. Dinner was delicious as always and you wondered why you hadn’t come home for Christmas in years.

A few more comments were made about your boyfriend's lack of time management as dinner continued. It had tapered off as dishes were being cleaned and washed. By the time dessert was being cut and served, it seemed like everyone had forgotten he was coming. Everyone, but you. 

Three simple knocks at your parent’s front door had your heart racing. You hoped and prayed to whatever god was out there that it was Steve. 

"I got it!" Your dad called before you could get up. The winter wind entered the cozy house when your dad opened the door. "Yes?"

"Good evening, sir." Steve's voice greeted your ears. "I'm Steve Rogers. I'm sorry I'm late."

"Uh…" You watched your dad step aside so your boyfriend could walk in. "Yes. Of course. Come in."

Steve nodded his appreciation. "Thank you, sir."

You mother leaned over to whisper in your ear, "you didn’t say your Steve was the Steve."

You giggled as Steve came up to you. "I'm so sorry I'm late, sweetheart." He was still dressed for his mission, dark stealth suit covered in dirt and sweat. His hair was matted down and he desperately needed to wash his face. Hell, a whole shower would do him some good. "I had the team drop me off right at the house."

You gave him a quick kiss. "I'm just happy you're here." You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him again, forgetting for a moment that your family was there.

Your father cleared his throat and you pulled away from Steve. "My daughter said I'd understand why you were late when you got here."

"Yes, sir. You see, we were in Germany when-"

Your dad raised his hand to stop Steve from explaining. "Son, it's fine. You were serving your country." 

Steve smiled, placing a hand on the small of your back. "Thank you for your understanding." 

Without a second thought, your mother offered a shower for Steve and whatever spare clothes they had that would fit him. Being polite, he declined at first but after some insistence he agreed. Clothing options were minimal, and he ended up in his white undershirt and a pair of overly decorated Christmas pajama bottoms your dad had from years ago. He looked a bit ridiculous, but he seemed happy.

With Steve out of the shower and by your side enjoying the remainder of your family’s Christmas dinner, you felt at ease. Steve fit in very nicely with everyone. Your mother found him charming, as you knew she would, and your dad, being an army vet, had a lot of common interests with him. Everyone got along better than you could have imagined. 

The guest room was made up for the two of you. You were elated to be able to lie in bed with Steve by your side. “I’m so glad you made it.” You pulled the covers up around you, the cold winter air somehow finding its way into the bedroom. 

“I am too.” He pulled you close, knowing how cold you always get at night. “I’m so sorry I was late.”

“It’s okay,” you said, maybe convincing yourself as well. “You made it and that’s what counts.”

He kissed your temple. “I know, I just wanted to make a good first impression with your parents.” 

“You did. They love you.” 

Even in the dark you could see his blue eyes light up. “I’m glad.” He kissed you, lips a bit chapped but still warm and comforting. Like home. “I love you so much, sweetheart.” 

“I love you too, Steve.” Your fingertips gently stroked his cheek and you watched his eyelids flutter shut. You knew he was exhausted from whatever mission he was on and therefore weren’t surprised when his breathing evened out mere moments later. “Merry Christmas,” you whispered before closing your eyes and joining him in sleep.

Year 3

“I’m sorry, miss, but we do close early on Christmas. If you want to order something, I would suggest doing it now, I’m sure the person you’re waiting for will understand.” You glanced at your watch, realizing you had been waiting at the restaurant Steve told you to meet him at for over two hours now. 

“I’ll be there right after the mission, okay? I have a surprise for you.” 

A mission that wasn’t supposed to take this long, but then when did they ever go according to plan? 

The waiter probed you again for your order, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Right, sorry. Yes, um, I’ll just have the grilled chicken then. Thank you.” 

You had texted Steve several times at this point, mostly out of concern for him. But now your blood sugar was running low, you were hungry, and your butt was starting to hurt from sitting at a table for two for so long. You didn’t want to be too mean, but you wanted to get your point across. The restaurant is closing soon so I’m just gonna eat without you.

Once the text was sent, you decided to just push Steve to the back of your mind and enjoy this nice Christmas dinner for one. 

After eating your dinner and a complimentary dessert (the waiter said it was because they just wanted to get rid of it but you had a feeling it was because the whole staff felt sorry for you) you did feel better. You almost felt bad for your short text to Steve. Almost. He did make you sit by yourself at a nice restaurant for hours.

When you got back to your apartment, you sent Steve another text telling him of your new location. You were sure he would have been able to figure it out himself but part of you hoped that this text would be the one he replied to. 

Your phone remained silent and dark, however, so you drew yourself a nice bubble bath. That would be relaxing. The warm water and suds eased the muscles you didn’t realize were so tense. The annoyance you felt towards Steve was slowly being released as well. 

He said he had a surprise for you. Until now you didn’t give it much thought, but suddenly you really wanted to know what it was. You had an idea, though. Steve had made several comments about settling down together, being with you forever. He had to be planning a proposal which made you even more annoyed he never showed up. 

You sank down farther into the water, trying to calm yourself down again. Getting all worked up again wasn’t going to change anything. You got stood up at a nice restaurant and now might be spending Christmas alone. But it was fine. This wasn’t the end of the world. Deep breathes.    

You stayed in the tub until the water turned cold. Only then did you get out and wrap yourself in a big, fluffy robe. You grabbed your phone again and checked for messages. None. 

Now you were starting to get angry. Your whole evening was wasted because Steve didn't show up. If you would have known, he wasn't going to show you would have made other plans.

But it’s still technically Christmas and dammit, you were going to enjoy it. You got into your comfiest, softest, pajamas, grabbed the book you had been meaning to keep reading and headed to your bedroom. You were going to enjoy Christmas night with or without Steve. 

No sooner had you snuggled up did you hear your front door open. Steve and yourself were the only ones with keys so you knew it had to be him. Opening your book, you decided to just ignore him until he came into the room. You were still mad after all. 

With heavy feet, you heard him cross the threshold. “Nice of you to show up.” Your tone was icy, and you refused to look up, knowing the instant you saw his blue eyes you would cave. 

He didn’t say anything at first, just gave a heavy sigh. “I know.” You peaked up and saw him kicking off his shoes. His suit was ripped and bloodied. Not the first time he’s come home like this. You were familiar with him coming home with black eyes and busted lips. Smelling of mud and gunpowder. It always broke your heart, but you knew how quickly he could heal.

Closing your book, you set it on your bedside table. “I waited.” Crossing your arms over your chest you remained irritated. “For hours at the restaurant. You never showed up. It was humiliating.” 

"I know," he repeated, walking over to you and sitting down on the bed. "Sweetheart, I'm so so sorry." 

"What was the reason this time?"

He ran his hand through his hair. "We were on our way back from Russia when we were alerted about a nearby Hydra cell forming. We wanted to tackle it before anything happened." 

As far as excuses go it wasn't the worst, but it didn't make you feel any less upset. "You said you had a surprise for me." Changing the subject seemed like the best decision. And you wanted to know what it was.

"I do." He got up and went to the closet, rummaging around it. "It was hard finding a hiding place you wouldn't find while cleaning." A small box was in his hands as he came back to the bed, getting down on one knee next to you. “You’re my best girl, Y/N. I wanted to ask you to marry me.” 

Your heart melted instantly. “Steve…” He opened the box and pulled out the ring. Simple, elegant, with a round diamond in the center. It was perfect. 

“Is that a yes?” His blue eyes sparkled with hope and love. 

You wanted to just blindly say yes. You wanted to say yes and kiss him and just tell him over and over again how much you loved him. “Steve, I…I don’t know.” 

Steve was a big guy but, in that moment, he looked so small. And hurt. “That’s okay, doll.” He put the ring back in its box. He slowly got up; eyes cast down. 

“Just…” You grabbed his arm and pulled him back onto the bed with you. “I want to marry you, Steve. I swear to you, I do.” He was still guarded as he sat and watched you. The ring box being clutched in his large hands. “But I need you to want to marry me, too.” 

“I thought getting a ring and proposing was a pretty big indicator that I do.” 

“Yes, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. Like today, when I wasted my night waiting for you to show up.” 

“Sweetheart, you know I-”

You raised your hand to cut him off. “I know, Steve. I know. Duty calls. But sometimes I want to call too. I want to be the one you’re putting before everything else.”

He sighed, running his hand over his face, smearing the dirt and blood that covered his skin. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I need to get better at making sure you’re a priority. I’ll work on putting missions aside and putting you first.” 

“You promise?” 

“I promise.” 

You reached up and touched his cheek. His usually smooth skin now feeling gritty from the debris. It didn’t matter to you, though. After a swift kiss to his lips you said, “I’d love to marry you, Steve Rogers.” 

His whole face lit up at the words and he slipped the ring onto your finger. “I love you so much, sweetheart.” He planted another kiss on your lips, needy and hungry. Leaving your breathless. “I’m sorry I was late,” he repeated, resting his forehead against yours.

“It’s okay. Make it up to me now?” You batted your lashes sweetly, teasingly. 

Your reward was another hungry kiss from your fiancé as he climbed on top of you. “With pleasure. Merry Christmas, baby doll.” 

“Merry Christmas,” you gasped, his lips going down your jaw. Maybe this Christmas wasn’t totally wasted. 

Year 4 

“Jesus fucking christ,” you cried, frustrated and angry. You had lost track of how many times you had tried to call Steve and had it go straight to voicemail. “Where the fuck is he!?”

Natasha sat by your bedside, holding your hand. “I’m sure he’s on his way home.” 

“You don’t understand, Nat!” You bit, lashing out at your friend. “He was supposed to be home at the latest yesterday! He said he wasn’t going to miss Christmas this year but guess what? It’s here and he’s not! And to top it off, I’m in the fucking hospital! But where’s my husband? Who fucking knows!” 

You weren’t surprised at how calm Natasha was being. She was highly skilled and trained at being an assassin. And her calm demeanor was exactly what you needed right now. “Hey,” she said, leaning forward, elbows resting on the white, scratchy hospital blankets. “He’s coming, okay? He will be here.” 

You threw your head back into the flat pillows, laughing bitterly. “Yeah. I’m sure he will.” 

She gave your hand a squeeze. “He loves you and you know that. He just got a little caught up. None of us knew you would be in the hospital today. Including him.”  

Groaning in frustration you said, “That’s not the point! The point is that he said he would be here and he’s not. He should have been here when it all happened. He was supposed to cut back on all the fucking missions.” 

Wordlessly, she grabbed the tissues that were sitting on your bedside table. She handed a few to you and you graciously accepted. Wiping your eyes of the tears that had slipped out. “I just want my husband.” 

“I know.” She continued stroking your hand, her skin softer than it should be. “I promise you he’ll be here soon. How many voicemails have you left him? And Sam? And Bucky? The moment one of them get the message Steve’ll rush right over.” 

“I just wish he was here now." You felt defeated. There was nothing you or her could do to make Steve come any faster. All you could do was wait.

Hours ticked by, doctors and nurses came and went, gross hospital food picked over. You sent Natasha home wanting to be alone for a while. She complied saying she'd just be a phone call away if you needed her.

If only you could say the same thing about Steve.

The doctors wanted to keep you overnight for observations. You were trying to get comfortable in the flat hospital bed when your door burst open and Steve came running in. He was still in his stealth suit, obviously fresh from the mission. 

“I got here as soon as I could,” he panted, sitting next to you on the bed. He grabbed your hand, his blue eyes filled with worry. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“You were supposed to be here.” You were so relieved to have him here but that didn’t take away the pain and anger you felt. “You were supposed to be here days ago.”

“I know. Sweetheart, I know. Things got a little out of hand-”

“You said you were gonna cut back on the missions.” Tears started to form in your eyes. “You were gonna put me first. Put us first.” 

“I know. I know.”  He tightened his hold on your hand. “I know I promised you that. I’m trying. I really am-”

You didn’t want to hear whatever excuse he had. “I needed you here, Steve.” 

“Y/N, I-”

“Our child needed you here.” 

He froze for a second, caught off guard from your comment. “Child?” He asked, saying the word slowly. Trying to figure it out. “Are… are you pregnant?”

“Yes,” you hissed. “And you would know that if you were fucking here!”

“What? When?”

“Two days after you left for the mission you weren’t going to go on,” you bit. “You should have been there with me when I took the test. You should have been there this morning when I started to bleed.” You pulled your hand from him, furiously wiped the tears that fell from your eyes. “God, I was alone, Steve! Alone and scared and worried I’d lose the child you didn’t even know we had!” 

His whole body heaved with his sigh and you knew he felt bad. “I’m sorry.” His voice sounded hollow, defeated and raw. “I told you last year I was going to do better and I haven’t lived up to that.”

“No,” you chimed in. “You haven’t. I can’t keep doing things like this, Steve. I can’t. Not with a little one on the way.” 

“I know. That’s not fair to either of you.” 

Something broke within you, your sobs being unleashed. All you wanted now was for Steve to hold you. Tell you everything would be alright. That he would be here, forever and always. You wanted - needed - him by your side like the partner he claimed to be. 

You curled your knees to your chest, pulling them in close. “I was so scared, Steve. What if something happened to the baby? Who was gonna be there for me?”

He was by you side in an instant, squished in the small hospital bed. You were scooped up in his arms, his scent and warmth a familiar comfort. Bringing you the peace you hadn’t felt since he left. 

“I’m sorry.” He repeated, whispering the words into your hair. “I fucked up, okay? I know I did. And I’m so, so sorry you had to deal with that alone.” 

“I’ve been stuck here in this stupid hospital bed on Christmas waiting for my husband to come home,” you cried, clinging to him. 

His arms tightened around you, smashing you against his strong chest. You felt safe and protected, something you had been missing. 

“I’m home,” he said, combing your hair with his fingers. “I’m home and I’m not going to leave you.” 

You knew better than to ask him to promise. He’d already broken it once before and you didn’t want to put yourself in a situation where he would do it again. Instead, you remained silent, just enjoying the fact that your child was fine, and Steve was here. Steve was home.

It was quiet for a while, the only sound you heard was his beating heart. Calming and rhythmic, it helped you relax until your eyes started to close. 

Steve’s voice was soft and smooth, helping lull you to sleep. “Merry Christmas, Y/N.” 

Year 5

Dinner had been served, presents opened, friends and family had come and gone. You would say it had been a great Christmas. 

Except someone was missing. 

You weren’t surprised at all. Disappointed and hurt, yes. But surprised? Sadly not. 

You were curled up on your couch, scrolling through the pictures you had taken on your phone. It was your daughter’s first Christmas and you were happy you captured so many memories. While she was still so small, she loved being held by her family and she loved the brightly colored papers and lights. Her smiles were tiny, but they were there, and they warmed your heart every time you saw one. 

The clock was approaching midnight, signaling Christmas’s end. You wanted to go to bed, but decided to stay up, wanting to wait for Steve to get home. 

A few minutes later, the door creaked open and your husband walked in. He looked tired and frustrated as he closed the door. “You’re still up,” he said, a small, hopeful smile forming on his lips. 

“I am,” you said coolly. “Emily’s not. She’s been down for hours now. You missed it all.” 

You were all too familiar with his sigh and the way his hand ran through his hair and down his face. “I know,” he said, the words sounding broken and meaningless to you. 

“This was her first Christmas.”

“I know and I’m so sorry I’m late-”

“I’m not the one you have to apologize to, Steven. I’m used to being disappointed by now. But she’s not.” 

“Y/N…” He crossed the living room, approaching where you sat on the couch. "I'm sorry."

Your gaze at him was hard, calloused by so many apologies and empty promises. "This was her first Christmas and you weren't here at all."

"I know but… but she's so little. She's not gonna remember that I was gone," he tried to rationalize. 

"That doesn't fucking matter. She's gonna grow up and see all these pictures from today and she's gonna know you were too busy to spend time with her."

"I was doing it for her!" Steve was starting to get frustrated. His fists clenched at his sides. "I was making the world safer for her!"

"She should be your world!" You got up from the couch, anger spreading through your body, making it hard to stay still. "You've promised again and again that you were gonna slow down, especially after Emily was born. But have you? No!" 

"You know how important this is," Steve growled. "I'm trying to keep you guys safe!"

"By being god knows where doing god knows what?" You threw your hands up in exasperation. "You can keep us safe here. You don't have to leave for that!"

"The threats aren't always here! They're-"

"Then it sounds like it's someone else's problem yet somehow you keep ending up with it. I fell in love with Steve Rogers but all I've gotten is Captain America."

Your last comment silenced him, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "You're right. You're absolutely right. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to do what's best." 

"Best for who?" You asked, pushing past him and going to your daughters’ room. You kept the lights off, not wanting to wake her. 

"Hi, baby girl," you whispered, gently running your fingers through the soft, wisps of her hair. Blonde, just like her daddy. She looked so much like her daddy. "Mommy loves you so much." You tenderly kissed her forehead before silently walking out, closing the door behind you. 

Steve was right where you left him, almost frozen in place. "Y/N…" he tried to call to you, reach out to you. "I love you, sweetheart."

Those simple words nearly broke you but dammit you were not going to cry over the man who perpetually put saving the world first and you second. "I can't do this anymore, Steve." You grabbed your jacket hanging up next to the front door. "I'm gonna go stay with Nat for the rest of the night."

You had seen him broken from battles before but not like this. The sparkle had left his eyes making him look so vulnerable and fragile. "Y/N… baby, please don't do this."

"Spend some time with your daughter " you said, ignoring his pleas. "You haven't seen her in weeks." 

"Y/N…" he reached out to you again and you pulled away, knowing his touch would make it that much harder.

As you walked out the door you called back to him, "Merry fucking Christmas." The door slammed shut just as the clock chimed midnight, signaling the holiday was officially over.

Tags: @teddybeardoctorr @lancsnerd @patzammit

[mitchsmarners]

i don’t want to spend another christmas without you 

pairing: eddie kaspbrak/richie tozier [reddie] word count: 5,623 summary: richie tozier turned his back on derry and most of his life after graduating high school and never looked back. what happens when after three years, richie must finally return home for the holidays? ⤹ written for @richiebeepbeep as their gift for the @itfandomprompts 2019 secret santa event! i hope you like it! 

read on ao3.

perma taglist: @jwilliambyers, @eddiekasbpark​ @stanleuyris​, @appojoos​, @s-s-georgie​, @chaotickaspbrak​, @eddiefuckinkaspbrak​, @edstozler​, @emgays​, @anellope​, @thorn-harvester-ven​, @wheezyeds​, @vipertooth​, @tozierking​, @billdenbrough (also let me know if you want added!)

Richie was not coming home for the holidays season. He never wanted to face Derry again, he lived in California now. He was happy there, that was where his life was, his apartment, his future. He simply could not face the life he had left behind three years earlier. Left vowing he would never return unless under the most desperate of situations. It had worked thus far, Richie always managing to come up with some sort of excuse when breaks from school had come around. Too much school work, doing summer trips abroad, having a his full time job and being unable to time off. He knew every time he told his mother he wasn’t going to make it that it broke her heart a little bit more. He almost dreaded the day she stopped asking him almost as much as he longed for it. 

There wasn’t much getting out of it this time, though, he knew. His sister had made it clear enough, with a short but firm text message, explaining all about how its her first Christmas since getting engaged and how Richie hadn’t even met Bryan yet and how he was breaking their mother’s heart and Richie felt guilt deep in his bones as he promised Elle that he’d be there this year. 

So now he was getting off at the Bangor Airport and his palms were sweating, his heart had been racing in his chest faster and faster the closer he got to Maine. His knees were shaking as he walked through the airport, looking for his family. His stomach jumped as his gaze caught sight of somebody who was clearly here for him, though the last person he would have expected to see.

“Eddie Spaghetti.” Richie cried, breaking into a sprint on his still shaky knees. He had missed his friends as much as his family, with a deep ache that he spent the majority of his last few years buiring deep inside of him by keeping busy and not giving him a chance to think about them. He’d kept in light contact with them, but he knew that he’d been shutting them out. And he knew that they knew it, too. 

Richie launched himself at Eddie, jumping up into his arms and wrapping himself around him koala-style. Eddie let out a loud and annoyed noise, but Richie could hear the laughter underneath it. “Goddamn it, Richard.” Eddie grunted and wrapped his arms around Richie’s waist to help hold him up. “You’re fucking six teet tall, what the fuck. Get off me.”

Eddie’s arms squeezed tighter around Richie’s waist in contradiction of his own words and Richie smiled against his best friend’s head. He finally dropped down with his feet on the ground, and found that his knees were no longer weak. He beamed at Eddie, reaching out to pinch his cheeks. Eddie swatted his away, cheeks turning a light shade of pink. “What brings you to this lovely airport, Eddie my love? Thought my old man wanted to pick me up and lecture me whole way back to Derry about what a terrible son I’ve been.” 

Eddie shrugged one shoulder, smiling down at his feet for a moment. “You know how your parents get right before a party, all stressed and manic. I volunteered to come get you, and don’t worry. I can still give you a great lecture about what a piece of shit son you’ve been the last couple years. And friend.”

Richie grumbled under his breath and stuck his hands into his jean back pockets. “Yeah, I feel like I’m going to be heading on the Richie Tozier apology tour.”

“It’s the least you can do.” Eddie said a little sharply, but his cheeks were still pink and his eyes were twinkling as he looked Richie up and down. “But don’t worry, you’ll have lots of time. Everybody is gonna be at the party tomorrow night, you can stand up and make a giant speech in front of the whole damn crowd if that’s still your style. Let’s go get your bags.”

“Oh, I didn’t bring any bags.” Richie said with a shrug.

Eddie’s mouth dropped open, and he blinked at Richie a few times before he furrowed his brow. “You’re here for two weeks? And you didn’t bring a single bag? Nothing? What are you supposed to wear?”

“I have clothes and shit back home!” Richie waved off Eddie’s concerns. “Nothing to worry about, Eds! Now show me to that Kaspbrak love wagon.”

Eddie rolled his eyes but allowed Eddie to wrap an arm around him and guided them outside into the chilly Maine air. Richie shivered brutally the moment he reached out into snow flurries, and let out a mildly horrified noise from the back of his throat. “Oh, fucking Maine. I’d forgotten. Please tell me you parked close, Eddie.”

Eddie chuckled, and tugged a woolly hat with a pom pom out of the pocket of his featherdown coat and reached over to stuff it onto Richie’s messy curls. “Awe, poor California boy can’t handle the cold? Forgetting your roots?”

“Listen, man.” Richie said through chattering teeth as Eddie linked arms with him and guided him quickly through the overly crowded parking lot. “I’ve barely even wore a sweater in the last three years. I was a l-l-l-egend in Cali, dude! I went sw-swimming in mid-winter while people st-st-arted at me like I was a lunatic!” 

“And now you’re shivering like a little bitch and stuttering like Bill Denbrough aged 12 in Maine.” Eddie chuckled, dropping Richie’s arm to move over and unlock the car doors. Richie tugged frantically at the passenger seat and dove into car. He buckled up quickly, knowing Eddie would demand it, and pulled his legs up to his chest. He wrapped his arms around them and pressed his face into his knees. 

Eddie dropped into the driver’s seat and seemed to take his damn time turning the car on. “Turn the heat on, turn the heat on.” Richie cried. “Please I’m going to die!” 

“You’re not going to die.” Eddie turned the car on, shaking his head. “You’re so fucking dramatic, Richard.” 

Richie shivered, holding his legs as close to his chest as he could manage without completely folding into himself. “Heat… please I beg you.”

“What if I told you the heater is broken?” Eddie asked, starting to pull out of the parking lot and getting caught up in a long line. Richie let out a distressed noise that almost sounded like a sob and Eddie’s heart tugged in his chest. “God, Rich, I’m just kidding. I wouldn’t let something in my car stay broken! Who the fuck do you think I am?”

Richie sighed as Eddie reached out and kicked the heater up. Richie sighed, and by the time they were finally pulling out of the cramming parking lot he’d let his legs down onto the floor of the car and was filling up with nerves once again. “So are we allowed to put on music or would that be too distracting from the lecture you’re going to give me?”

Eddie sighed, tapping at the steering wheel. “I’m not going to lecture you, Richie. I get it… mostly. I don’t really like coming home to Derry, either. It wasn’t a great place for any of us.” Eddie glanced at Richie from the corner of his eye and shook his head. “But we didn’t all have a family that as good as yours, Rich. And we didn’t cut each other out, either. I don’t know what happened, Richie. It’s like you cross over the Derry town line and you straight up forgot that everybody here existed.”

Richie sighed and leaned his head against the car window, though the chill stung at his skin. “I didn’t. I thought about you guys everyday.” 

Eddie was quiet for a moment, fingers still tapping the steering wheel as they drove down the dark highway. Despite how busy the airport parking lot had been, the highway was nearly empty aside from them. “I spent a while wondering if maybe I’d done something wrong… after everything that happened senior year. If I’d made you hate me.” 

Richie closed his eyes, brain dragging up all the things he didn’t want to remember. The things he’d pointedly kept from his mind over the last three years. Eddie Kaspbrak under the lights at prom, Eddie Kaspbrak’s lips on his in front of everybody at their graduation, Eddie Kaspbrak’s tears when he told Richie they couldn’t be together because distance would ruin their relationship and their friendship. “I don’t hate you, Eds.” Richie said softly. “I could never.”

“I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse.” Eddie chuckled. “Because I wanted to hate you. Somedays I did. Most of the time I just missed you.”

Richie’s heart clenched in his chest and he clenched his fingers sharply against the meat of his thigh. “I’m sorry, Eds.” Richie squeezed his eyes shut, leg shaking underneath him. This isn’t his strong suit, talking to people like this. Being open in any sense of the word had always been Richie’s deepest struggle. It had likely been the reason he hadn’t bothered to fight for him and Eddie in the first place. 

“I wanna say it’s okay, but it’s not really.” Eddie shrugged one shoulder and kept his eyes on the road. It was starting to snow harder, getting harder to see through, and Richie wondered for a moment about how he’d forgotten that snow was beautiful when you weren’t freezing. His gaze slid from the front windshield and he looked at Eddie, knowing that he found him more beautiful than he would ever find snow. 

“I get that.” Richie said. “Honestly, I’m surprised you’re even bothering to see me. I definitely didn’t expect you to be coming to my parents party tomorrow.” 

“I’ve gone to your parents’ party every year, Richie.” Eddie said simply with a shrug of his shoulder and half a smile. “I helped you set up every year in high school and I wasn’t about to stop just because you were being a dick to everybody. It’s always been the best excuse to get away from my mother during the holidays, as much as it pissed her off.”

“I always thought you liked it so much because it pissed her off.” Richie said with a small smile, pressing the back of his hand to his mouth to hide his smile. Eddie’s lips twitched up in hint of his own grin, though he made no move to confirm or deny it. “I always sort of thought that’s why you spend so much time with me, to be honest. Nobody ever got under her skin like I did.” Eddie’s gazed jerked to look at him, something deep and worrisome in his eyes. Richie’s heart started racing in his chest, and palms began to sweat. “You know, the only time she ever got along with me was when I was giving her the good dick. A very serious love-hate relationship.”

“God, you’re fucking disgusting!” Eddie cried, letting go of the wheel to smack Richie in the arm. “You actually haven’t grown out of Your Mom jokes? You’re twenty-one man!” 

Richie shook his head and let out a soft huff of a laugh. Silence settled in the vehicle and Richie wondered for a moment if he’d be able to open up the door and roll out. He cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his head. “So… your mom is still the worst then?”

Eddie rolled his eyes and let out a frustrated groan. “As if she’d ever be anything less than terrible.” He said. “You know what he’s like. Every time I come home she spends the entire time crying and whining and begging me to stay. That I shouldn’t go back to school, that I’m sick and she needs to take care of me. The usual bullshit.” 

Richie frowned at his hands, shaking his head. Not for the first time, Richie Tozier wondered at the strength of Eddie Kaspbrak. Richie had known many brave and amazing people in his life, but he didn’t think anybody would ever be on the level of Eddie. Eddie, who could walk directly into the face of abuse and hold his ground and still be the kindest person he’d ever had the honour of knowing. 

“Thank you for coming to pick me up.” Richie said quietly, pointedly staring out the front windshield even as he could feel Eddie watching him from the corner of his eye. “And thank you for not hating me.” 

“I could never hate you, Richie.” Eddie said. “Trust me. I tried. Unfortunately, I think caring about somebody for 16 year is hard to turn off.”

“Yeah.” Richie agreed. He grabbed his phone from the pocket of his jeans and began fiddling with the car radio. Eddie chuckled at him, and Richie finally managed to hook his phone up to the bluetooth. Smiling, he clicked onto his private Spaghetti Songs playlist and hit shuffle. He hadn’t listened to this playlist in a  ages, but he’d never had the heart to delete it. The smile that broke out on Eddie’s face as Cut to the Feeling by Carly Rae Jepson started playing made Richie overly happy that he never got rid of it. 

They spent the rest of the ride in a comfortable relaxation, singing along to the gushy and lovely pop songs that weren’t usually Richie’s type of music but he couldn’t deny the little bubble of happy they gave him whenever he reminded hearing them for the first time and being reminded of Eddie. Nor the bubble of fondness he got in his chest when looked at Eddie and watched him sing along to every single one.

They pulled into Derry and Richie felt the panic begin to settle into his chest once again. His leg started bouncing and he felt that the air in the car got heavier. When they pulled into the Tozier’s driveway, Richie felt that maybe he’d been cemented to his seat. Eddie turned off the car and unbuckled, opening the car door before pausing. He slowed the door slowly and turned to Richie with a small frown. “Rich?”

“Yeah, I’m good.” Richie said, staring blankly ahead and now biting at his thumb nail. Eddie’s hand reached out and wrapped around Richie’s wrist, pulling it away from his mouth and holding it in his lap. Richie turned to look at him slowly, and thought maybe this was the first time Richie was really looking Eddie since he’d picked him up. He’d grown his hair out since the summer after high school, curling around his ears and the base of his neck. His face was freckled even with the darkness that came with winter and his shoulders had definitely broadened. He wondered randomly for a moment if Eddie still ran.  “I’m fine. I just… need a moment.”

Eddie pulled Richie’s arm into his lap and rested against the seat of the car. “Okay. But I’ve already turned the car off so it’s about to get really cold in here and you’re a little California baby now.” Richie reached over and flicked Eddie in the ear. Eddie swatted at him with the hand that didn’t have a tight grip about Richie’s wrist. “And I can see Alex’s face in the window, so she knows you’re here.”

Richie looked over and sure enough, he could see his little sister peering out from between the curtains. His stomach tensed with anxiety as his heart leapt with love. “Alright.” He said with a soft sigh. “Let’s fucking get this over with then.”

“That’s the spirit.” Eddie said with a laugh. He patted Richie on the shoulder twice then ducked out of the car. Richie took another moment to try and gather himself together before quickly figuring out that he wasn’t going to get any more prepared than he was right now. 

Richie kicked off his boots as he came in the house, and didn’t have a chance to take them off before somebody was latching themselves tightly around his midsection.”RICHIE!” Alex cried, pressing her face directly into his stomach. Alexandria Tozier had been a shock to Went and Maggie, barely four years old when Richie had moved out, and he adored her. 

“Hey kiddo.” Richie said, trying to cover up how his voice cracked and broke as he squeezed his baby sister. She stepped back and Richie got his first good look at her. Her hair was longer and waved down her back, and her huge grin was missing several teeth. “Look at you! You’re all grown up, you in high school yet?”

Alex broke into giggles, wrapping her arms back around Richie’s stomach. “Noooo Richie. I’m only in grade two.”

“Grade two!” Richie gasped overdramatically, bending slightly and grunting as he heaved Alex up into his arms. Alex looked at him seriously for a moment then cracked into a grin and Richie couldn’t help but smile back. He kicked off his boots and walked into the crowded living room, holding Alex to his chest like a shield. 

“Richie!” Maggie cried as he entered, coming forward to wrap her arms around her son. Richie leaned down and kissed his mother on the cheek, and Alex rested her head on Richie’s shoulder. Her eyes were already drooping and Richie couldn’t help but wonder if she was staying up past her bedtime to see him.

Eddie was chatting with Wentworth across the living room and Richie’s heart began to race in his chest. He tossed Alex down onto the couch touchdown style, leaving her laughing into the cushions as he walked over to them. 

“Hey Pops.” Richie said, scratching at the back of his neck. 

Went turned to him, expression stoney. “Edward has told me there’s no need for me to lecture you since he has that covered. I trust that is true.” 

“Yes sir.” Richie replied with a somber nod. 

Went broke into a smile and pulled Richie in for a hug. “It’s good to have you home, son. Hope to see you around here more often.”

Richie thought of how much Alex had grown, of sitting with Eddie in the car listening to music and felt his father’s warmth around. “Yeah, Dad. Absolutely.”

“Only issue,” Eddie broke into the father-son moment with a sing song voice. Richie turned and Eddie beamed at him. “I basically live in your room when I’m back in Derry, so you’re going to have to share your bed with me.”

Richie’s brain stalled at the thought of Eddie living in his childhood bedroom for the last three years and he wasn’t quite sure if he felt uncomfortable with it or not, but his brain got caught up in the even scarier thought of sharing a bed with Eddie. 

As the evening went on, Richie tried with all his might not to think about the last time he and Eddie had laid together in that bed. It had been Eddie’s last night in Derry, the two of them curled under the blankets and watching shitty movies and drinking so much soda that Eddie had gotten a stomach ache. A good old fashioned middle school style sleepover. That is until Eddie had rolled over with tears in eyes, and apologized that they couldn’t be together the way they wanted, and kissed him. Everything else that happened between them that night hurt too much to think about, and Eddie had left the next morning without a single word about it. Richie had barely spoken to him since- until today.

Everything died down quickly, and Richie found that he was exhausted. After helping his mom put Alex to bed, though he suspected that the nighttime routine was a little elaborated for his presence, Richie said goodnight to his family and Eddie and dragged his ass up to his childhood bedroom. 

Everything seemed smaller than Richie remembered, and the walls were littered with posters of bands that Richie hadn’t listened to in years. He smiled, though he wasn’t quite sure what was getting to him in the moment, and opened up the top drawer of his dresser. Most of the clothes he’d left behind had actually once belonged to one of the other Losers, and Richie ended up in a too-large T-shirt that was most likely Ben’s, and a pair of sweatpants that were just short enough in the leg to be Bill’s. He crawled into bed and sleep took faster than it had in ages.

He was woken a bit later by the door opening and closing. He rolled over onto his back and squinted, but he couldn’t see shit in the dark without his glasses.

“It’s just me.” Eddie said in soft whisper. “I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.”

Richie rolled over, more than happy to do that. He’d started to doze when the bed dipped under the weight of Eddie climbing in beside him. Richie grunted and burrowed himself deeper into the blankets.

“Rich?” Eddie whispered. Richie groaned in response. “Are you sure you’re okay with sharing with me? This is your bed, and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I don’t live here, I can go back and stay with my Ma-”

“Eddie if you think I’m even gonna let you to stay at your mom’s, you’re insane.” Richie said, his voice croaking with half-sleep. “If I was uncomfortable with you in my bed, I would’ve fucking told you. We’ve shared this bed a hundred million times or more. We’re only going to start having an issue if you don’t shut the fuck up and let me sleep.”

Eddie chuckled, and when he spoke his voice sounded a little awestruck. “Richie Tozier telling somebody to shut the fuck up? That must be a first.”

“There’s about to be a second.” Richie grumbled, grabbing a pillow out from where Eddie was leaning and whacking him in the face with it. Eddie laughed and Richie felt him finally lay down completely beside him. 

It was definitely the best sleep Richie had had in months, but he wasn’t about to go around announcing it. 

The next morning, Richie woke up alone in his bed and felt a momentary panic when he took in his whereabouts. It took a moment for everything to come sinking back in, and Richie groaned as he put the pieces back together. He flung the blankets up over his head and wondered if he’d be able to get away with wasting the day away in bed. He never came home for the holidays, maybe if he just stayed in his room, his family would just forget he was there.

The bedroom door came swinging open immediately after Richie’s thoughts trailed off, and he forced himself not to make any noise or sudden movements. 

“Asshole, get up.” His older sister, Alyssa, called into the room. “Mom and Dad need you and Eddie to go pick up some stuff for the party tonight.”

“Why do I have to do it?” Richie grumbled. “I was in a different state yesterday! That kind of shit takes a lot out of a guy!”

Alyssa grabbed the blankets that were still hung over Richie’s head and tossed them away. She glared down at him, hands on her hips, and Richie couldn’t help but think she looked exactly like their mother. “Last ones in do the bitch work. And you have like, three years worth of bitch work to make up for. So let’s go, move your ass, Tozier.”

“Fuck you, Tozier.”

Richie rolled out bed quite literally, letting himself drop to the floor. He didn’t need to look up to know that Alyssa was rolling her eyes as she walked away out of his room. Richie rummaged back through the drawer o’ missing clothes, and came out with a large grey sweater- much too large to belong to Richie himself- and pulled back on the jeans from the day before. Tossing his outgrown hair up into a bun on top of his head, Richie half stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen. 

Maggie barely looked up at him as she handed him a cup of steaming hot chocolate and Richie leaned in to kiss her on the forehead. He turned towards the table and found Eddie sitting there, eating a blueberry muffin and glaring at him. “Got an issue, Kaspbrak?” Richie challenged, sitting down across from him and grabbing his own muffin from the plate. 

“Are you wearing the same jeans from yesterday?” Eddie asked with a crinkle of his nose.

“Judging by the look on your face, you already know the answer to that, Eduardo.” 

Eddie fake gagged. “Richie, that’s so fucking disgusting, are you kidding? What? You’re just going to wear the same pants the entire time you’re here? You’re going to get an… an infection or something. God, Richie. When we go out today, you’re getting some clothes.” Richie opened his mouth but Eddie put his hand out. “And don’t even try to complain to me, it’s your own damn fault for not bringing any stuff when you knew you were going to be here for a week.”

Richie rolled his eyes and didn’t bother trying to cover up his pout. He’d had to borrow a coat from his dad, and was forced to venture out into two feet of snow in his Converse sneakers and Eddie was talking a mile a minute at his side. 

“I’m not fucking buying a pair of boots, Eddie.” Richie rolled his eyes as he dropped into the passenger seat of Eddie’s car. “They’re like 60 bucks a pair, and I live in fucking California. I’m not spending $60 on something I’m only going to use for a week. I’m a broke college student, just like you.”

“Please.” Eddie scoffed, pulling out of the driveway and starting slowly down the snowy road. “If you say so.” 

They drove in an almost eerily comfortable silence. No music, not taking, just them while Richie tried to ignore how immensely he was enjoying Eddie’s company. Richie curled up in the passenger seat, head pressed against the window and he sighed. He watched his breath fog up the glass and slowly traced a R + E into the fog with his finger. He immediately wiped it away with the palm of his hand and glanced over his shoulder, relaxing when it seemed that Eddie hadn’t noticed.

Eddie pulled into the parking lot of Shaw’s Supermarket and Richie stayed curled up in his seat until Eddie came around and yanked the door open. “Come on.” He said with a huff. “I’m not going to do the shopping by myself. Move it.”

Richie groaned, and made exaggerated stomps out of the car. He kept his arms crossed as they hurried through the parking lot and Eddie grabbed them a cart. As soon as Eddie had his bearings on the cart, Richie leap over it and curled up inside, crossed legged and grinning up at Eddie. 

“The cart is for groceries, not your lazy ass.” Eddie grumbled, but he started pushing the cart into the store nonetheless. Richie spun around in the cart, grabbing things off the shelves when Eddie pointed them out and holding them on his lap. 

Eddie maintained that Richie was being lazy and merely looking for an excuse to get out of the shopping as much as possible, but Richie firmly believed that the trip went by faster without Eddie having to stop for every single item they needed to grab. 

“That would have been true either way, you’d just also be walking, dickhead.” Eddie argued after Richie had leap out of the cart and was helping him unload everything onto the belt. “Maybe we could have taken turns pushing the cart even.”

“Awe, Eds, that’s the funniest joke you’ve ever made.” Richie said over his shoulder as he paid the cashier. Richie grabbed as many bags as he could carry and they dragged everything back to car. 

Richie turned on Christmas Carols on the drive back to his house, and after mild complaining- Eddie even sang along with him. 

As they arrived back at the Toziers, they realized how many extra cars were now parked outside. There was space for Eddie to pull into the driveway- no doubt at Maggie’s demand for the safety of her much needed groceries- and Richie found that anxiety from the night before quickly settling back into his gut. 

“Relax, Rich.” Eddie said in a calming voice. His hand dropped down on Richie’s thigh and squeezed. Richie’s breath picked up, Eddie successfully doing the opposite of calming him down. “Richie. I can feel you freaking out. What is your problem?”

“I can’t go in there, Eddie.” Richie said, voice pitched and words rushed together. Richie suddenly felt fifteen again, deeply in love with his best friend and afraid to do anything. A boy who likes boy is a dead boy, Richie thought to himself and remembered growing up in this horrific town around people he could only hope would accept him but he was never sure. He was never sure, he isn’t sure. 

But Eddie with looking at him with wide eyes, concerned and open. Willing to listen to whatever Richie was struggling with and it made Richie so nervous he could throw up. 

Richie ran both hands over his face and sighed loudly. “I cut off everybody I loved, Eds. They’re all in that fucking house, I can’t go in there. I wouldn’t be able to stand it. I can’t go in there and lie to them, or dodge their fucking questions of why I never come home. I just can’t.” 

“Why do you have to lie?” Eddie asked, frowning deeply.  

“Because I can't just go in there and be all ‘hey everybody! Sorry you haven’t seen me in three years but I went off to college and stopped repressing my homosexuality and now I’m a big giant gay! Surprise! I didn’t bring any present!’” 

Richie blurted out the sentence in a span of seconds, words all pressed together until they were barely coherent and Eddie blinked at him as his brain attempted to detangle the mess. His eyes widened as he finally did, and he turned off the car. He buckled himself and almost fell out of the door in his haste to get out. 

Tears stung at his eyes as Richie’s brain spiraled down the dark panic of Eddie turning his back on him. Luckily for Richie, Eddie had only been out of the car long enough to rush around to the passenger side and yank it open. 

“Come on, out. Let’s go.” Eddie forcibly unbuckled Richie and tugged him out of the car. Hand in hand, Eddie dragged him around the house and towards the backyard. 

“Uh, Eds?” Richie’s knees shook brutally as they walked. “What about the groceries?”

“It’s cold enough.” Eddie said sharply. “It’ll basically be like it being a fridge. Relax. This is more important.” 

Eddie sat down on the swing set and Richie sat down slowly on the other side. He suddenly remembered all the summer and fall days Richie and his friends would run around on this small swing set. He wondered if Alex and her friends even played on it, and he hoped desperately that they did. 

It had started snowing lightly, like flakes falling into their hair. Richie, despite the lingering anxiety, couldn’t help but smile at the way Eddie’s cheeks were starting to redden with the chill. Richie pushed his swing enough to sway, enough to just have something to do. 

“Richie-“ Eddie started then paused. He bit down on his bottom lip and furrowed his brow. “I don’t know how to say this politely, so I’m just going to spit it down. Richie. Your family knows you’re gay.”

Richie’s mouth dropped open. He closed his sharply, just to open it again. He shook his head, and closed his eyes. Swallowing deeply, when he opened them again, Eddie was still staring at him softly. “How do you know that?”

Eddie laughed. “Dude, do you know how much I’ve had to hear your mom talk about how she thought we were dating in high school? I’m not sure she believes me when I say that we weren’t.” 

“I’m not sure I believe you either.” Richie said quietly, so quietly that he was almost surprised that Eddie even heard him. But Eddie let a small noise, almost as though he was pained. 

Suddenly, Eddie’s hands were on Richie’s cheeks and pulling him in. Eddie’s lips were cold and Richie knew his were chapped and probably not very nice, but there was something so heartachingly familiar about kissing Eddie that Richie couldn’t help but sink into it completely. 

Eddie pulled back slowly, letting their foreheads stay pressed together. Richie fluttered his eyes open, looking at Eddie with hooded lids. “Why’d you do that?” Richie whispered. 

“I’m sorry.” Eddie said sounding mournful. “For… saying we shouldn’t be together and everything that happened before I left for New York. It wasn’t fucking fair to you, you deserved so much better.” Eddie shook his head, pushing Richie’s head as they moved together. “God. I loved you so much and I knew I was hurting you. I was always so sure that the reason you wouldn't come back to Derry because of me.”

Richie shrugged and brought his hands down to rest on Eddie’s hips. “There was a lot of versions. But…” Richie smiled bashfully. “I think I’m glad I came back this time.” 

Eddie smiled back and pressed a kiss to Richie’s forehead. 

[kileyrose-2003]

Rose the Hat x Fem! Reader

A/N: Hello lovelies. This very fun write was requested by @mad4thehat-rose

Warnings: Implied domestic violence, violence, violence against children, mentions of major character death, major character death, child death (if you really like Abra and hate Dark AU endings, skip past the top 8 paragraph) I'm warning you all now, it's DARK, sexual content (literally the whole end of this piece is pure smut)

Key: Mo grá is My Love in Irish. I hope you all enjoy!

"Now do you see the consequences to what you've caused bitch child?!!" Rose screamed and she dragged Abra by her hair to Room 237.

"I had him just where I wanted him-" She gestured to Dan's corpse. "And then you had to fuck it all up!! You took everything from me. My sense of security, my dignity, Andi, and not to mention MY Crow or my newest planned recruit! This is all your fault!"

Abra sobbed as Rose shackled her to the floor. It wasn't supposed to end this way. She seen it herself. Rose was supposed to die.

"Are you even listening to me?!" She slapped Abra across the face and shook the girl who's fate was near sealed. "Y-you're a whore! An ugly old whore! My Uncle would of never went with you..that's just the hotel. He was a good man. You deserved what you got. Especially the Crow. I hope it hurts after what you did to the Baseball Boy. You all were cowards and you're the biggest one of them all and now you're all by yourself and have no one else to blame besides you. You killed them. Not me."

Rose sat their in silence for a few moments. Did she really kill her Crow even if it was unintentional? No..she couldn't of. She loved him and the others. She wouldn't try to ever hurt them purposely but had she been so aborbed in her rage to not notice? Deep down she knew it was possible but shoved it aside. He did know that she loved him, didn't she?

Rose giggled at the morbidity of the situation as reality finally started to sink in slightly. It wouldn't be long now until she had her another breakdown. Abra's confident air began to fade at the sound of the laugh.

"You speak of things and people you know nothing about. You're just a fucking child! A dead one at that and it's all you'll ever be to me from now on." She took the knife out of her pocket and stuck it into the ground inches away from Abra's leg.

Abra tensed and closed her eyes before looking at Rose again, the eyes of a strong woman radiating through her. "You're going to hurt me now, aren't you?"

Rose gave a tight lipped grin and leaned over the young girl, her hair going all in Abra's face. "Oh yes." Rose never looked so glad to say those words. She held her knife up sentimentally as thought of all the bloodshed she caused with it over the years. "And now you're going to scream for years." Rose's face turned to that of a scorned psycho as she plunged the knife deep into Abra's femoral artery.

Meanwhile as Abra and Rose's screams faded into the night you stood in your boyfriends apartment, throwing your clothes and belongings into your suitcase.

"I don't know why you think you can just take off and leave because I never said you were allowed to." You tried your best not to let him think he had the upper hand from the beginning.

"Really? I didn't know I was legal property." Your smile was a vicious one. "You should be. A property of the state that is. We all know you're just trying to get attention. All the psychic shit is just a bunch of hocus pocus."

'If you seen and know the things I do, you wouldn't say. Especially because I could save you from your very preventable death in a few months. Keep being a prick though and I won't. ' You thought to yourself and just shrugged his insult off as ignorance.

"Are you even listening to me?" He tugged your hair and you glared, pushing him away. "First, don't touch me. Who gave you permission to do that? And why should I listen to an abusive asshole?"

He took a swig of beer. "You best watch your tone. Wouldn't want to be burned by the fire you're playing with, is that right love?"

"At this rate, I'm not your love. Not now and not ever. I'm not playing games with you ever again. Now if you would excuse me." You picked up your suitcase and made your way towards the doorway but he blocked it.

"You walk out this door and I'm not covering for you. The only reason your family hasn't sent you away yet is because you're living with me. I won't stop them from sending people to come after you if you walk out that door. So best think of your actions now." He threatened.

"Let them send people after me. I don't care. You won't be able to find me. Now move!" You plowed past him, using your suitcase as a defense of sorts.

"Suit yourself, freak." You had your hand on the doorknob when he said it. "I'm not a freak." You whispered softly, tears streaming down your cheeks. "Yes, you are." He pressed. "No. I'm not!" Your grip on the doorknob tightened to the point your fingers were flushed. "Yes! You are!"

"NO I'M NOT!" The door flew off the hinges and broke into minuscule pieces, nearly hitting your now ex boyfriend.

His face dropped and you locked eyes with him, your tears turning from frustrated ones to angry ones before you walked out the door for good. Leaving him to pick up the pieces himself.

"What a dick." You shook your head as you unlocked your car and stuffed your suitcase in the back before driving away.

Meanwhile on the way other side of the country Rose finished up her work on Abra when she felt a blast of steam hit her.

It was enough to make her stop the final collection on the girl's steam. The word 'freak' radiated through her mind as the energy faded off.

"A woman..maybe from the east coast and twenty tops. No matter, I won't be needing her for a long time. I'll let this one hang around for a little bit and see where the road takes her because she's a wanderer. For now-"

She smiled largely as her bloody hands lovingly caressed the cannister of steam as she felt the fine lines on her face fading. "I have my whale."

Part 2

You didn't know how long you were on the road for until you seen the 'WELCOME TO COLORADO.' sign enter your frame of vision. It was snowing hard at almost a white out rate that day and you could barely even see anything ahead of you.

You stopped at the nearest small town called Silverton and got yourself a hotel room and never left the area from that point on. People in Silverton lived by a 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' and you liked it like that. It was a serne and safe area with mountains farther then the eyes could see on days it didn't snow and little vintage shops that always caught visitors attention because the place was practically stuck in time.

You lived on your own in your own little apartment and a got job where you made good friends. None of them knew about your little gift and if they did, they never said anything to you about it. Just like they never asked about your family either.

You hadn't spoken to your family in at least a year. On that drive to the Colorado High Country, your cellphone ended up getting thrown out the window. You were a woman of your word now and stronger. You meant what you said.

It was a bustling Friday night on the main street shops and you were in your apartment, running a curling iron through your hair as you were getting ready for your night out.

"Is that guy from your work coming?" Y/b/n asked, scrolling through their phone. "No. They scheduled him for nights."

"Aww that's too bad. I was hoping I could maybe set you guys up." The look in their eyes was mischievous and you shook your head.

"How'd I figure?" You were joking but their eyes became seriously. "Because you just do. I don't know how but you do and I think it's cool...I'm sorry, that was personal. I shouldn't of said anything."

"It's fine." You shrugged it off and unplugged the curling iron, leaving it safely on the counter and shut the light off. "Okay, I'm ready to go."

"Sweet." They tossed you your jacket and stepped outside, making their way to your car. Talking about random stuff as they did you.

You were about to chase after them when suddenly you felt cold eyes on the back of your head.

It wasn't someone physically looking at you, you immediately would of picked up on the person's presence. This one felt cold and empty.

You rubbed the sides of your arm and looked both ways. "Y/n! You coming or not?" Your best friend called out from the sidewalk and you nodded slowly. "Yeah..sorry I-"

"Sorry what?" They made their way back towards you. "I thought I seen something." Your friend just smiled at you and giggled. "I think you're just nervous..come on, you'll feel better once we're on the road."

"Yeah..you're probably right." You took their hand in yours as you strolled to their car, having meaningless small talk along the way. The creeper feeling began to fade away and you attempted to brush it off as just your paranoia but something deep down told you it wasn't.

Meanwhile as you attempted to brush off your inner instincts, Rose the Hat sat at the driver side of her RV with a pair of binoculars in her hand.

(I don't see what all the fuss is about. When I was alive if we seen her we wouldn't of even bothered killing her. We would of just turned her.)

Rose squeezed her eyes shut and grasped onto the sides of her seat. "You're not supposed to be this close to me. Or Andi for that matter. You're both gone now. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust."

Crow sat in her passenger seat. "You're right, I am but who's going stop me?" He kicked his feet up on her dashboard.

"What are you doing here?" She refused to look him in the eye. "A visitation of sort but mostly for another reason."

"Which is?" He sighed and rubbed his face. "You got to move on, Rosie." Rose laughed and put the binoculars done and pulled her knife out from underneath her skirt. "Funny." She balanced the blade in between her finger tips, her eyes fixated on it.

"I'm serious darlin'." Tears brimmed out of the corners of her eyes and she attempted to blink the them away, not wanting Crow to see her vulnerable in life or death. "And I was being serious when I say you shouldn't be this close to me."

There was silence for a few moments. "For the love of god, would just say something?" Rose tried her hardest to not sound like she was begging but they both knew she was.

"You've allowed all this hatred to consume you and it made you push people away, even me. After a while, you're going to be lonely if you aren't already which I know you are." Her grey storm of eyes met his intense sea of black ones. "Then why don't you stay with me then?"

There was without a doubt a sentimental amount of a bitter sweet touch in Rose's tonality. Whether it was because of the immense guilt she felt in the aftermath of her crusade on Abra or because she actually was feeling, Crow didn't know.

She reached out to touch his hand, almost as if to see if he was really there infront of her or if he was just some vivid hallucination and he immediately pulled away from her.

Rose looked taken aback, not because she felt her authority was questioned but because he actually had the gall to push her away when for once she actually was willing to admit she needed him.

"As you said to me before, I'm not supposed to be this close to you." Crow Daddy placed his tan hat atop of his head.

"You won't see me anymore after this. At the end of the day Rosie you're going to end up doing whatever you want anyway but just remember, an eternity alone gets very lonely."

Before Rose could say anything Crow was already gone. She looked at herself in her large mirror for a few moments. The phrase 'At the end of the day you're going to end up doing whatever you want anyways.' Ran through her head like a march.

Crow was right about that part. Even when she was with The True at the very beginning stages of her turning, she did just exactly what she wanted whenever she pleased but to admit to being lonely? That was something she'd never do.

'You need steam much more than companionship.' She told herself. 'As much of a whale the bitch child was her taste is starting to get old. You want something new, stronger.'

Rose adjusted her hat and begrudgingly slipped her feet into a pair of shoes. The rube staple she hated the most. "Alright Rosie..let's go get her."

On the other side of town you sat in the corner of the bar you were at. "Come on Y/n! Have some fun!"

You shook your head and shyed back with your phone. "No thanks.." Your bestfriend sat across from you. "You look sad."

"No, it's just-" They took your hand in their own. "You still feel something?" You nodded. "Do you want me to take you home?"

You could smell the alcohol on their breath and you shook your. "No, no. It's okay. I'll get a cab home."

They nodded and wrapped their arms around you tightly. "Be safe, please? It's near Christmas and people are crazier than normal."

"God you're worse than the soccer mom at the elementary school I went too." You scolded joking and planted a kiss on their cheek. "Love you."

"Love you too." You waved to them, slipping your coat on as you stepped outside. You took a breath of relief as you stepped outside and turned on both heels to go hail the taxi down the road when you bumped into someone.

"Well, hi there!" Rose smiled as you looked at her in embarrassment. "I am so sorry. I should of watched where I was going." You went to go pick up her top hat but you didn't like the energy that came off of it. It was dark and cold.

"It's fine, Y/n." Your face flushed of color and Rose gave a look of innocence. "What?" She placed her top hat back on like it was a crown.

"H-how do you know my name?" Her hand was on your wrist and you felt the tell tale urge to pull back but yet you felt so calm. "You really don't think you're the only one around who is special, don't you?"

Your blank expression said it all for her. "Come with me. I'll show you how I'm special." Your inner instincts told you to run but Rose's energy pulled you into a trance like.

"Okay..I'll come with you and you'll show me how your special." Her smile was filled with joyful malice. 'Still got this, Rosie Girl.' She mentally high fived herself. "Yes..and that's just exactly what I'll do."

Part 3

Though Rose the Hat was a woman of many talents, she wasn't near as good at the abduction aspect as Crow or Barry was. There was something in the look of the abducted us eyes, particularly adults, children wasn't near as bothered with, the caused this sense of vulnerablely inside of her.

Whether it was from years of dealing with a drunken father during her childhood that practically beat the emotion out of her, or because it was in fact a part of the role in The True she hadn't done in a while she didn't know.

All she knew was that she had to try the hardest she had in a while to keep a strong face as she did the first part of the job on you. It was a long drive and you cried the whole way to the abandoned agriculture plant she took you to way outside Colorado.

"No! No! No!" You kicked and screamed as Rose carried you over her shoulder out of her trailer and laid you down the ground. "I-i won't tell! Just let me go."

"Sorry darling, it's not personal. You could of had alot of potential it's just that like you rubes, I've got to eat too." She tied the rope around your wrist tightly and you winced, feeling your wrist burn along with your eyes. "Aww look at you..how adorable. I almost forgot how much I liked watching people squirm underneath me." She tightened the last clamp harder than the rest and you shriked.

"A-are you going to hurt me?" It was an answer you already knew as you squirmed underneath her. Rose put a finger up to your lip and shushed you. "As little as I possibly can." She promised.

She ran her thumb over your cheek as if to give you some comfort and raised the knife above her head. You squeezed your eyes shut, expecting to feel pain radiating through your body but nothing happened.

Why couldn't she hurt you? Rose, who considered herself to be quite numb to the feelings of others didn't even know herself. There was something about you, some steamy element that made her feel attached to you like a magnet.

"Damn it!" Rose stuck her knife in the dirt inches away from her leg and stood up, frustratedly running her fingers through her hair. "Ro-"

"Quiet Y/n!" She snapped and paced back and forth. She had to have you for steam. You knew what she was. There was no other way but why was it so damn hard?

Finally she sat down next to you again and took her position. This time when she attempted to grab the knife she could barely even bring herself to pull it out of the ground.

She thought back to Crow. 'An eternity alone is lonely. ' He was right. She was lonely. Every little thing about you reminded her of her family or herself and she wanted to bathe in it and never let you go. If she couldn't have you for steam, she'd keep you for company. She couldn't be alone anymore.

"Fuck it." She began to untie the ropes from around your wrist and ankles, fighting tears back from her eyes. The more she looked at you, the more precious she found you from your bright eyes to your beautiful soul.

"W-what are you doing?" Your eyes stung from all the crying you had done and all the force she used to knock you earlier.

"What does it look like I'm doing, Y/n? Damn you rubes.." She continued to untie you, mumbling to herself as she did so.

You laid in the dirt and just stared at Rose. "D-does that mean I get to go home?" Rose stopped what she was doing and smiled at you, her getting all in your face. "Oh sweetie..who said anything about being able to go home?You're staying with me."

"With you?" You looked at her in disbelief. "Why, of course. Either way sweetheart, you're mine. All mine. You should of figured that before I even got you because what I want, I always get." You didn't like the look in her eyes and attempted to run.

"Oh no you don't." She caught you by your wrist and you kicked at the ground and sobbed. "Let me go! Please..I won't tell. I promise."

"Shh..it's going to be okay. I have something even more special for you love." You shook your head, barely listening to her. "I just wanna go home..please-"

Rose rolled her eye into the back of her head and reached deep down into her dress pocket, pulling out a needle. "You know Y/n, I really didn't want to do this but you left me no choice." She pushed you back down on the ground and you screamed as she held up the needles. "Sleep, that's all this will give you."

You attempted to move her hands away but she was too strong. You felt a tiny pinch on your neck and you felt a wave a calmness come over your body even though you were mentally screaming.

"That's it..just relax." Rose cooed and slowly got off of you. "You'll thank me later for this, believe me. For now just sleep." Your eyes fluttered shut and slowly you began to fall asleep.

Rose caressed your cheek and lifted you up in her arms as she carried you off to her trailer. Thinking of how much you reminded her of a younger version of herself along the way. She too knew how it felt to be scared and alone because you, like her, probably thought you were the only one out there with this gift and she didn't want you to feel that way anymore.

As much as she needed the steam, she also needed someone to love. Being the only empty devil left in America was lonely. Rose already lost her Crow and Andi and she wasn't about to let you out of her grasp either.

The next morning you woke up warmly tucked into Rose's bed with her arms looped around her waist. You knew you should of been afraid and running for the hills. This was the person that just tried to kill you after all but Rose looked so beautiful, almost like an angel.

Her brown tresses flowed behind her like a veil and her facial, though aggressive beautiful, looked at piece. She looked more earthly.

Ever so carefully, you attempted to slide out of her arms but her body felt so warm and her grip on you was strong like cement.

You managed to get part of your shoulder out of the grip when Rose yanked your wrist. You instantaneously rolled over and your face collided into her chest. "Where do you think you're going, Mo grá?"

She didn't sound angry but you had a feeling she had a temper. "N-nowhere." You stuttered, practically feeling her smile. "Good. That's what I expected to hear."

Rose sat up in bed, looking down at you. "How are you feeling?" You furrowed your brows. "How am I feeling? You kidnapped me and tried to fucking kill me. How do you think I'm feeling?! I should be beating the shit out of you."

Rose chuckled and patted the top of your head. "Such violent threats for such a gentle soul..you and I both know you really wouldn't do it. Now, second time and I'm asking and only the truth. How are you feeling?"

"Shaken but that's the best night's sleep I've ever had. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." You face flushed as the words came flowing out of your mouth and Rose laughed. "Works a little too well sometimes."

She planted a kiss on your forehead and stood up out of her bed. She was completely naked and all you could do was stare.

"What? Clearly it's not the first time you've seen female anatomy my sweet, after all look at yourself." Rose smirked and started a pot of tea.

"I must apologize for what I put you through last night. Normally when I decide who is food, my mind is set on it and there's no going back but you my darling are something special. You have power I haven't felt in a long, long time. I should of found you years ago."

You watched Rose rummage through her cabinets for her box of tea. "So you're a cannibal then?"

"In ways yes, some no. I don't physically eat people. I eat what's up there." She gestured to her crown.

You looked at the walls of her RV and seen pictures of her hidden on the walls. Some of them she was with a man who had dark hair and others a pretty blonde girl. "So is there more of your friends around or-"

"Family. They were MY family and what is tied can never be untied. I'm the last." The reply came off snappily and handed you your cup of tea, flipping the pictures that you seen completely over.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry." Rose waved her empty hand hand dismissively and sat down across from you, her hands almost breaking the handle of the mug she was holding.

"It's not that they don't matter or they're not significant, it's just that it's not something that you should worry about right now." Rose stippled her tea, not wanting you to see the dismay she felt.

"Here's the deal..I'm going to make you an offer Y/n because I need to move and you're steamy." She eyed you up and down. "How old are you, lovely?"

"(Insert whatever age in your twenties you want to be)." You hummed softly and Rose grinned. "What an age. You know I remember being your age once. Long time ago. I felt lonesome too and then I met someone like myself who showed me I wasn't alone. Wasn't crazy. That's how you felt for a long time, didn't you? Your family didn't understand you. No one did."

"I-i..I don't want to talk about it." You crossed your arms and overted eye contact. "Shhh..Mo grá, it's okay. We all have our deep and dark little secrets in our families. That's what I'm offering you. We could make our own family. The little band of misfits we are. No secrets, no judgment. Stay young, eat well, live long."

The next night you were laying with your head in Rose's lap as she rambled on about what would happen after your turning.

"..Normally we'd have an advanced man who would prepare for a situation like this and would be making accommodations to get you your own trailer but for right now we'll have to make due with what we have." Rose brushed off the situation.

"So I'll be living with you?" She grinned. "You have a twinkle in your eye, don't you honeybunch?"

You said nothing and she smiled. "I see everything in that pretty little head of yours. You're a pleaser aren't you? Or at least you were."

"I bow my head to no one. Made it a point not too a while ago." You growled. "Such passion and so fiery..we'll see about that, love. Enough of that though, we have more important things to worry about. Remember, no fear. Embracing it will make it much easier."

You nodded and she laced her fingers through your hair. "Repeat after me Y/n. Lodsam hanti, we are the chosen ones.."

You did as she said although you were only half paying attention. There was something so sacrificial about the act she was performing on you. The phrase 'eat or be eaten' automatically came to mind.

"Y/n!" Rose snapped her finger infront of your face and you tensed. "That's better..now my love, I'm going to show you something even more special then the both of us combined probably."

You raised an eyebrow as she took a bloodied silver cannister out of the pocket in her shall. "This is Abra..my big whale. This little thing thought she could actually get the last word but we clearly both see the end result of that and she taste like spice."

You looked on mortified as she sucked the girl's steam into her mouth. Maybe you shouldn't embrace it. Maybe you'd go with the death option in the end after all, but then you thought of your friends.

You already new that within a few days time you'd become one of the classing 'Missing' posters but at least then, you'd be alive. The other alternative didn't have that peace of mind. Rose would eat you alive if you weren't where you were right now. You didn't have to be in her head to know that.

Your thoughts were broken though when you seen the cloud infront of your face. "Breath deep. A deep as you can."

Ever so carefully, you did. At first you felt nothing and thought all the talk of the pain was just Rose trying to scare you but then you felt a burning sensation in your stomach. It was subtle but enough to make you notice.

Eventually it began to spread to like wildfire. When it reached your lungs it felt like something was choking you from the inside. Fighting to live, to get out of you.

"Ro-" You attempted to choke out her name but failed. "Shhh...it's okay. Embrace it. Let it feed you."

You tried your hardest but it hurt worse than anything you ever felt before. It hurt like you were dying. Your whimpers turned to screams and you practically feel Rose grinned at you.

Your eye balls collapsed and a ball of blue light rolled into your frame of vision. It wasn't long after that you blacked out.

The next morning you woke up in Rose's bed much to your surprise, with your body still intact. You looked the same physically but you felt..different.

Rose opened the door to her trailer and waved. "Well hi there!" You opened your mouth to yell at her. Ask her what it was that she did to but nothing came out. Only the god awful choking.

Rose immediately made her way over to you with a different cannister. "Deep breaths." You took a huff of the steam and the sensation faded.

"That feel better?" You nodded. "You weren't kidding though when you said it hurt." Rose smiled tightly. "It was worth it though, wasn't it?"

"I guess." You shifted uncomfortably, feeling a pit growing inside you and Rose laughed. "You guess? Just wait til you feel the affects of the steam. It'll give you the best night you ever had."

Your face was blank and she furrowed her brows for a moment and smiled. "Oh honey..you're a virgin, aren't you?" You blushed a little bit and she kissed your cheeks. "Nothing to be ashamed of, my sweet. I was one too at one point but that love, was a long time ago."

You nodded but didn't really pay attention. All you wanted was that sensation to be taken away. Rose took her hat off and gently forced you back onto her bed. "May I?"

You nodded, despite the fear radiating through you as she peppered kisses all over your face and neck. Sure you and your ex kissed but never anything like this.

Rose looked down at you as she made her way down to your collar bone. "Normally I'm not very gentle but for you, I'll try."

You nodded as you felt her nip at your skin. She must of been marking you. It was an annoying sensation but not enough to make you feel hurt. If anything, you felt more flustered.

Rose grinned, clearly getting kicks off the whole thing. She continued to work her way down until she eventually ended up at your lower spot.

You tensed and her face softened. "Easy, Mo grá. If you want me to stop, just let me know." You gripped the sheets on the bed tightly as she began to work her magic on you.

You could barely see her head bobbing up and down in between your thighs. All you could focus on was the passion.

"Rosie!" You gasped not even knowing you struck a chord inside her as you felt your cheeks grow warm and red. "It feels..feels-"

"Amazing?" She looked up at you for a moment. "Yes! More! Please!" You begged as your hips involuntarily buckled up down.

Rose reveled in the whole thing. Yet again, silently admitting Crow was right. Realizing the pleasure she had been depriving herself of over the years.

She chuckled and began to teasingly run her fingers over your folds. "So eager yet so impatient. Practically begging for me to fuck you."

You winced at the tease. "D-does it always feel like this?" You stuttered. "Sex?" Rose rasped. "After we take steam yes, but don't worry about that for right now Mo grá. Let me take care of you."

The rest of her face disappeared again as she got back to work, moaning in pleasure the entire time.

It was intense sex but it was gentle. The feeling of her fingers inside you made you scream in ecstasy.

After a while though you felt tired and that pit began to grow in your stomach. "Rose..I-i-i feel something down there. I don't know if I can do it anymore!"

"That's perfectly okay. Cum for me, my sweet." You waited a few moments to see if she planned on moving her hand and you came.

It was electrifying but it felt amazing. You were panting afterwards and beads of sweat were layered onto both of your skin.

"Rose?" You whispered softly. "Yes love?" She pulled your dress down and scooted up next to you, spooning you the closest to her that she could manage.

"I love you." You murmured and her face went blank. You seen her eyes traveling the walls and tried to pick up on just exactly what she was thinking but found a blank canvas.

After a while she finally spoke. "I love you too Y/n." Rose planted a loving kiss on your temple and nuzzled closely to you. Letting the years of pain and anger she felt finally go. Maybe just maybe, moving on wouldn't be so bad after all.

[staticscreenwriting]

Heaven can wait - Billy Hargrove

Synopsis: Love letters, mothers, valentine’s day aaaand everyone’s favorite song to sing along to when drunk and emotional. 

A/N: I wrote this for @moonstruckhargrove ‘s Valentine’s Day writing challenge. I had the “love letter” prompt. What I only realized when I was done though, was that I mostly ignore the “it has to be centered around Valentine’s Day” rule. Vday is mentioned so I hope this still counts. Enjoy.

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies. Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.  

February fucking sucks. That’s the underlying truth of it all. It’s grey and dark and cold and miserable. Christmas has come and gone and the novelty of snow has worn off by the time January 12th rolls around.

Hawkins Indiana might look like a scene straight from some cheesy Hallmark greeting card but it sure doesn’t feel like it.

(Y/N) pulls her coat tighter around herself as she steps out of Hawkins High and into the harsh winter wind. The sound of crunching snow beneath her boots that brought her joy just a month earlier, now only serves to remind her that summer is so many months away.

To say she’s sick of it might just be the understatement of the century.

There’s a great bustling of people on the school grounds. They’re hanging up banners and bows and hearts made of paper and entirely too much glitter glue. It’s like middle school but worse. Because back in middle school, Valentine’s day was this cutesy tradition that was over the top cheesy and ridiculous but in the end it was just for shits and giggles anyway.

High School is a whole different story. Valentine’s Day is serious business at Hawkins High. Various committees had formed and organized all kinds of things for the big day. You can buy chocolates for your crush and have it sent to them in class. They set up a wall that students can pin their teenage love confessions to. They even organized a fucking dance for the night of Valentine’s Day.

And now it’s not like (Y/N) hates the day or the couples or the shameless commercialization of love. It’s just — a lot.

Additionally, it makes her aware just how awfully single she is and how the one guy she truly wants really only sees her as a friend. And you don’t date friends.

There’s countless movies where the main characters start out as best friends then fall in love and then live happily ever after. But that’s not reality is it ? (Y/N) parents started out as the best of friends then fell in love somewhere along the line. They got married in spring, had little (Y/N) then lived and loved until their friendship was sucked into the big black void of everyday life. Now dad lives in a bachelor pad in some high rise in Indianapolis and fucks his secretary and mom takes antidepressants as if they were tic-tacs.

They don’t show that in the movies, do they ?

So actually ever confessing her feelings for her best friend is an absolute no-go.

Speak of the devil.

Billy is leaning against his car looking like a young god, unbothered by the perpetual teenage disillusion with the future.

Like the world is his and he knows it.

“ You’re gonna get hypothermia one of these days ? “ (Y/N) approaches him and points towards his half-unbuttoned shirt.

Billy might just be the most stubborn person (Y/N) knows. He simply refuses to buy winter clothes. “ I’m not gonna stay here anyway “ is what he always says and sure, that might be the case, but he’s here now and he’s freezing his ass off. Yet he’d rather freeze than admit it and cave and buy himself a freaking winter coat.

“ I have a great immune system “ Billy replies, a smirk pulling at the edge of his lips.

A smirk that makes (Y/N)’s heart beat just a little faster.

“ Oh do you ? That why you been sneezing all day ? “

“ Shut up “ Billy replies then takes a last drag from his cigarette and throws it to the ground.

“ You got somewhere to be today ? “ He asks (Y/N), eyebrows furrowed. There’s a certain edge to his voice that immediately tells her that something is wrong. There’s something on his mind he wants to talk about. Something weighing on his shoulders.

“ Nope. Why ? “

He just nods towards the Camaro and mumbles a “ get in “ before opening his car door and slumping down on the driver’s seat.

So it’s one of those days. Where he doesn’t talk, at least not yet. (Y/N)’s learned that asking questions just makes him talk even less. He will open up, eventually. It’s just that opening up feels like admitting defeat to him. Feels like showing weakness.

It’s not and (Y/N) is trying her best to make sure he knows this. That he can allow himself to be vulnerable with her of all people. Because despite it all, she’s his best friend.

The drive is mostly silent except for the sound of Billy’s beloved Metallica tape playing through the car radio. He looks tense. His hands are gripping the steering wheel tightly and there’s a serious look on his face. It makes (Y/N) nervous. Makes her fear that a Goodbye is closer than expected. That maybe his dad is taking him away again. Somewhere else. Somewhere new. She knows there’s an end to their friendship eventually. An expiry date. All he wants is to go back to California and though she’s his best friend, (Y/N) doesn’t think she’s worth enough to make him stay. Or at least wait. To wait until she’s figured out which way to go after graduation. To see if maybe her path could lead her west. Could lead he towards California. Towards the sun. Towards the beach. Towards Billy.

Now that idea doesn’t sound all that bad to her. But would he even want her to come ?

Billy parks the car at the edge of the quarry. It’s kind of their place. Unofficially of course. But they come here whenever they need to vent. Whenever things get too bad. Whenever Neil adds another bruise to Billy’s skin. Whenever things at (Y/N)’s home feel like suffocating her.

“ Sooo … “ (Y/N) speaks up after a moment.

“ I gotta show you something “  

“ Okay ? “

For a moment Billy fumbles around in the pocket of his leather jacket, before he pulls out a very crumpled piece of paper.

“ So uh — Neil thought it was time to get rid of some of mom’s things that we still had and, you know him. Asshole didn’t wanna deal with any of it so he put all the boxes into my room. Most of it was clothes and shit that I don’t want to keep either but as I went through a box of records she left with us, I found a bunch of letters “ Billy starts to explain. His voice is laced with emotion. There’s anger and sadness and utter confusion.

It’s always hard for him to talk about his mother. When they started to become friends, (Y/N) has honestly thought she was dead, the way Billy didn’t talk about her at all. Just mentioned his mom every once in a while. It took one of Carol’s parties and a bottle of Tequila for him to come clean about the fact that his mom didn’t die, she left.

Every once in a while, when he has a really good or a really bad day, he tells (Y/N) little snippets of what his life used to be like. Back before his mom left. When he still had a proper family. And every time (Y/N) can tell just how hard it still weights on his heart.

“ Letters ? “

“ Mm-mh. Letters from my mom to a man. Some dude named Michael. Letters she never sent. Fucking love letters. “

There was never a doubt in (Y/N)’s mind, that Billy adores his mother. Not the woman who left but the one he got to know before. Whenever he talks about her it’s with love and fond memories. He seems different now though. Unsure if he really properly knew his mother to begin with.

“ She talks about how much she loves him. How she wishes she could be there with him. She mentions me too. Says I’m too young to understand. Too young to do it by myself. Fucking hell she was unhappy even when I was just a baby. I — I thought that things used to be good at one point but apparently it was shit from the start. “

(Y/N) honestly doesn’t know what to say. She wants to hold him and tell him that his mother doesn’t know the person she decided to leave behind. That it’s her loss. That she is never going to see the wonderful boy he grew up to be. The one that means so much to (Y/N). The one she loves so dearly.

Only friends don’t say that, do they ?

“ There’s tons of letters. The first one goes all the way back to when I was just 2 months old. Last one was written just days before she left. I — I wonder if she went there. I wonder if she had enough and decided she wanted to be with this guy. I wonder when she decided I was old enough to leave behind. “

He’s caught somewhere between pure rage and utter sadness. It takes over his mind like a tidal wave. Like suddenly everything he ever thought he knew is full on bullshit. His head is filled with so many what-ifs. All his happy childhood memories, where they really all that happy if his mom wished she could’ve been somewhere else ?

“ You think she might be there ? “ (Y/N) asks, wondering if she should be saying anything at all.

“ I was asking myself that question too. She must’ve gone there, right ? In all these letters she keeps talking about how all she wants is to be with this dude. It only makes sense, right ? “

“ Right. “

(Y/N) carefully considers the next words. She’s about to propose an idea that could potentially change everything. Good or bad.

But maybe some things are worth it.

“ Do you wanna go ? “

“ Go where ? “

“ Go see her in — “ (Y/N) takes the letter from his hand and reads the address out loud “ Pensacola Florida “

Billy combs his fingers through his blonde locks and lets out a sigh. “ That’s like a 10 hour drive. And for what ? “

“ Closure ? “

There’s a million different ways this could go and they’re all flashing in front of Billy’s eyes at that moment. He’s been thinking about this moment ever since his mom left and now that he finally has an idea of where she might be, he’s terrified.

“ Would you come ? “ he asks it almost timidly. As if there’s any chance she’s gonna say no. As if she wouldn’t follow him to the end of the earth and further.

“ Billy, you’re my best friend I’d come anywhere you want me to “

“ Yeah, yeah. You’re are. “ And for a moment he hesitates as if he wants to say so much more. Only he doesn’t dare speak those words.

“ So, Florida ? “

Billy takes her hand in his and squeezes it for a moment. His hands are warm and rough and (Y/N) wonders what they’d feel like touching other parts of her body. Then she scolds herself for it because friends don’t think stuff like that. Do they ?

“ Florida! “

- OOO -

The camaro is filled with the smell of cream soda and beef jerky. But really, that’s the smell of a good road trip.

Before they embarked on their epic adventure, Billy insisted they stock up on all the snacks and drinks anyone could ever consume on a 10 hour drive.

The radio is playing softly in the background as the two teens laugh and bicker about god and the world.

Hearing Billy laugh, like actually genuinely laugh, is something (Y/N) thinks she’ll never get enough of. He’s got the most radiant smile, the most infectious laugh. It’s a downright shame the world doesn’t give him more reasons to do it. And if we’re being real honest here, (Y/N) takes a little pride in being the one that can get the laughs and smiles from him.

“ So what did you tell your parents ? “ Billy asks then follows it up with a “ Twizzler please “

(Y/N) pulls a twizzler out of the package and holds it out towards Billy’s mouth, basically feeding the sweet treat to him.

“ Ah you know, It’s my weekend with dad so mom thinks I’m there. Dad thinks I’m at the Valentine’s Day dance. It’s no big deal, really “

“ Sorry about that by the way “ Billy mumbles around the bit of his Twizzler.

“ ‘bout what ? “

“ Making you miss the dance. “

(Y/N) scoffs. As is she was gonna go to the dance anyway. Going to prom with your friends was one thing but going to a Valentine’s Day dance by yourself was just sad.

“ Oh yeah because being single at the Valentine’s Day dance is totally something I was looking forward to. “

“ Ah, I’m sure you could’ve found some guy to take you. “

“ But it’s a Valentine’s Day dance, Billy. You don’t want some guy to take you. You want the guy. “

Billy raises his eyebrow in question before taking a sip from his cream soda.

“ So what’s the guy like then ? “ he asks.

You. (Y/N) thinks. But she knows that even if anything were to ever happen between them, Billy isn’t the type of guy to shoq up to school dances. He’s not one for big dramatic gestures. He’s just Billy. And that’s enough.

And anyway, a road trip to Florida fueled by cream soda and twizzlers sounds way more exciting than some school dance anyway.

“ Billy Idol “

“ What ? Really ? “

“ Oh yeah. He’s hot, he makes great music and he’s got the whole bad boy thing going for him”.

Billy shakes his head in disbelief though (Y/N) can just make out the hint of a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. Billy doesn’t smile a lot but when he does oh god it’s marvelous.

“ That all it takes ? Some bleached hair and a leather jacket ? “

“ And really tight leather pants “

“ Of course, can’t forget those “.

A silence settles upon the two. Thick with words unspoken. By now the snow has vanished from the surroundings and (Y/N) can’t help but feel somehow liberated.

Like she’s escaped the winter and the cold and the miserable truth that with the actual spring comes their graduation and with that the end of her time with Billy. It’s like she gets the warmth and the sun and the joy without the heartbreak.

Maybe this is what they need, she thinks, one last adventure before the inevitably have to say goodbye.

“ Can we go to the beach ? “ (Y/N) asks, images flooding her head of burying her feet in the warm sand and forgetting about the grey cloud above her hometown for just a moment.

“ Yeah. Yeah we can “

(Y/N) takes another sip of her drink “ Can we also go to Disney World ?“

Billy doesn’t answer but he smiles. A full on smile. It doesn’t stretch upon his entire face but it’s big enough to earn itself the title of a proper smile. And that’s all she needs, really. This is better than any ride at any theme park could ever be.

- OOO -

The setting sun casts the sky in vibrant shades of pink and orange. It’s like a picture from a postcard and though (Y/N)’s seen many sunsets in her life, she knows this one is her favorite. There’s something magical about it.

They’re parked on the edge of a gas station parking lot. Being on the road for hours after a rather stressful day at school, they’re both exhausted and decided it’s best to rest for the night.

Billy is finishing a bag of beef jerky as (Y/N) switches through the different radio stations looking for something to listen to. Looking for a station that’s playing anything but the Flashdance soundtrack.

“ Let us die young or let us live forever

We don't have the power, but we never say never

Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip

The music's for the sad man”

“ Oh my god I love this song “ (Y/N) exclaims as the words to Forever Young echo through the Camaro.

“ I hate this song “

“ Oh come oooon now. It’s catchy. “

Billy only rolls his eyes “catchy doesn’t mean good”.

“ No but catchy means I get to sing along “

And she does. At the very top of her lungs. She belts out the words to the chorus like her life depends on it. There’s so much joy on her face though, that Billy can’t even be mad. In fact, he finds himself admiring her and her unwavering love for life. The way she just lets go and allows herself to be goofy and ridiculous. He wishes he could let go and just — be.

“ FOREEEEEVER YOUUUUUUNG I WANT TO BEEE FOREEEEEEVER YOUNG. Come on Billy. I know you want to sing along “.

“ I don’t sing. “

“ Nah. Bullshit. You’re just embarrassed. I bet you can’t sing “

“ Neither can you “

“ I know. So what ? It’s just us, right ? Just you and I. Who cares ? “

And really, who does care ? Maybe this trip was his awakening. Maybe he can let go when it is just the two of them. Him and (Y/N). (Y/N) who is honest but never judges him unfairly. Who lets him be the person he is. Always. Who never tries to change him. Not even the bad parts. Not even the really shitty parts he wants to change himself.

So he let’s go. For the first time in a long time. And not in the way of getting blackout drunk. But in letting himself be ridiculous. Be a dumb teenager singing along to a dumb song. He lets himself be goofy. Allows himself to be, well — young.

“ So many dreams swinging out of the blue. We let them come truuuue ! “

“ Hah ! I knew it! You even know the words !”

And when he catches the pure and unfiltered happiness in (Y/N)’s eyes and the huge smile spreading across her face, he thinks maybe this isn’t so bad. Maybe it’s worth it.

So he grabs her hand and their voices mix as the belt along to the chorus.

“ Forever young, I want to be forever young. Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever ? “

It’s like magic caught in moment. Like love caught inside a ‘79 Chevrolet Camaro. And Billy never wants it to end.

- OOO -

The outside world is only illuminated by the distant glow of the gas station’s neon signs as (Y/N) wakes up in the back of the Camaro. Billy had generously offered her the more comfortable sleeping space while he closed his eyes still sitting in the driver’s seat which, (Y/N) notices, is now deserted.

She spots him leaned against the front of the car, cigarette in hand. The magic from earlier is gone and has made room for all the anxiety of what’s to come once they reach their destination.

Slowly (Y/N) climbs out of the car and stands next to Billy.

“ You alright ? “

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, just takes a drag and blows the cigarette smoke into the nightair.

“ I honestly have no fucking clue anymore “ Billy scoffs, letting his tongue wet his lips in unease.

(Y/N) notices a can of beer in the hand that isn’t holding onto the cigarette.

“ Have you been drinking ? No judgement or anything just if you did I can drive tomorrow morning “.

Billy shakes his head “ Nah. I uh — I thought it would help settle my nerves but it doesn’t. Only had a sip. I just — I’m terrified, (Y/N) “

It’s unusual for Billy to tell anyone how he feels so (Y/N) knows this is special. That this really means something. That this situation must weight so heavy on his heart.

“ I’ve been imagining this day for so long. Since the moment she left really. And now that it’s actually happening I don’t know how to feel. I have — I have no idea how to react when we find her. If we even find her. Who knows she might not even be there. Do I talk to her ? What do I tell her ? I don’t know anything anymore. I just — she’s my mom and she just left “

There’s a sniffle, then another one and another. And just like that Billy comes undone right in front of (Y/N). His face shows pure agony. Deep sadness. Absolute confusion. All at once. There’s anger and pain and heartache. If she could she’d take it all from him and live with his pain if it meant he never had to feel it again.

But she can’t.

So she does the one thing she can do. Show him she’s there with him every step of the way. The good, the bad and most of all the ugly.

She softly leans her head against Billy’s shoulder as he drops the cigarette stump into the can of beer gone stale by now. His arm finds its way around (Y/N)’s shoulder who promptly links her fingers with his.

Even with all the misery and heartache and angst, a little of the magic comes back suddenly. With soft touches and hearts filled with love for the other.

“ Florida is nice “ (Y/N) says as the both watch the sun slowly rising above the horizon.

“ California is better “ Billy replies “ You’d like it “.

“ You should show me one day. I uh — I applied to some colleges on the west coast so … “

Billy looks down towards the girl cuddled into his arms and it’s like a spark ignites deep inside his heart. And it sounds like some absolute pussy shit. Like something Harrington would probably write in one of his cheesy letters to the Wheeler girl. But it’s true.

No matter how much he tries to deny it, the future absolutely scares him. But a future with (Y/N) doesn’t sound so bad. It sounds comforting. It sounds like something he’d very much want.

“ Would you want to go ? “

“ To California ? “

Billy nods.

“ Yeah obviously “.

“ With me ? “

It’s (Y/N)’s turn to nod now. She wants to say so much. Mostly that she loves him and that she wants nothing more than to go about this life with him. But she doesn’t because some things mean too much to say them out loud, even if there’s nothing you’d rather do.

“ I’d like that too. Very much “ he tells her “ You’re pretty much the only person I don’t get sick of. And I — that’s pretty neat “.

Billy Hargrove has never told anyone that he loves them. He thinks this is as close as he’s ever come before.

As he looks down at her, illuminated by the sunrise and the pink neon sign advertising 70ct slushies, Billy thinks she looks phenomenal in pink. He thinks she’s probably the prettiest sight he’s ever seen.

And he wants to kiss her, so badly. With every fiber of his being. But this isn’t the time or the place. She deserves better than kissing this version of him. The tired, anxiety stricken mess.

So he’s going to wait. Even if it goes against everything in him.

“ You ready to get back on the road ? “ he asks instead and prays to every higher power that he hasn’t just wasted his chance.

(Y/N) nods again and the magic is gone.

- OOO -

There’s a pale blue house at the end of a cul-de-sac. It has a big front yard with a swing set and a white picket fence surrounding the property. Ther mailbox is white and splattered with the same blue paint of the house. In bold black letters it tells everyone that this house belongs to the Stone-Hargrove household.

Billy and (Y/N) sit in the Camaro, parked just across the street from the house and observe it closely. No one is home right now, that much is obvious. The lights are off and no one’s been seen through the big front window yet. There’s no cars in the driveway and everything is quiet.

“ Should we leave ? “ Billy asks and nervously wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans.

“ Do you want to leave ? “

He thinks for a moment then shakes his head.

“ Then we won’t leave.”

While Billy doesn’t dare take his eyes off the house, (Y/N) reads through the letters Billy has handed to her. They’re all varying in sizes and shape. Some of the love confessions are written down neatly on stationary paper with little flowers around the edges. Some are hastily scribbled onto napkins or the back of some promotional flyers. They all have something in common though, they were never sent.

As she reads through them, (Y/N) can’t help but imagine the woman writing them all those years ago. A woman who seemed all but happy in her situation. A woman who so desperately wanted to give her heart to the little boy she had put into this world. Only her heart was never her’s to give away. It already belonged to the man in Florida.

She mentions Billy several times and it really does sound like she loves him. Only not enough. (Y/N) thinks that maybe life isn’t that easy. That it isn’t entirely black and white. That some women aren’t born mothers. That you can try and try and do your best but hat maybe some aren’t meant to be moms.

And yet she can’t help but feel a little resentment towards her. For breaking Billy’s heart.

(Y/N) gets shaken from her daydream as she hears Billy’s breath hitch. She looks at him, then follows his glance towards the house.

There’s a white Jeep Wagoneer pulling into the driveway. A man gets out, salt and pepper hair and smile on his face. He looks kind. Like he’s jumped right out of a 70’s tv family. Your poster-child for the perfect suburban dad.

He’s followed by a woman and at that point Billy’s breath speeds up a little. There’s no doubt in either of the teen’s minds that this is her. She has the same dark blonde hair as Billy. The same smile. Only she seems to show it far more often. She opens the backdoor of the car and a kid jumps out. A girl about Max’s age, maybe younger.

That’s the exact moment Billy’s heart sinks.

She looks just like a girl version of him when he was that age. It’s like looking into a damn mirror they’re so similar. Only they aren’t are they ? Because she’s happy and smiling and driving around a perfect suburban neighbourhood with her mom and dad and they’re smiling and they’re happy and the love each other. And she doesn’t have to ask herself every single fucking night why she wasn’t good enough for her mom to stay. And she doesn’t have to fear coming home to a dad who hates her guts. No she doesn’t.

Billy did. Billy does.

And for a moment he feels resentment cursing through him. Until he feels the soft touch of (Y/N)’s hand against his as she gently pulls his hand off the steering wheel and links her fingers with his.

It’s not the kids fault. Billy has to remind himself. And this woman ? She may have given birth to him but she wasn’t his mother. This was a different woman living a different life. A life that didn’t involve him. A life separate from him. From all the memories they made.

“ That’s not my mom “ he says so timidly, so softly, (Y/N) almost doesn't hear.

“ My mom made me blueberry pancakes on sunday mornings and sang along to Elvis on the radio. “ he continues and sighs deeply. “ My mom took me to Chuck E. Cheese’s every first friday of the month. She told my bedtime stories about dragons and heroes. She built a birdhouse with me for the blackbirds that always hung around in our garden. She took me to the beach whenever possible and helped me find the coolest seashells. This isn’t my mom. My mom loved me and she stopped being my mom when she didn’t. “

And then he turns to (Y/N) and there’s tears in his eyes and she so desperately wants to tell him she loves him but maybe this isn’t the right moment. He deserves better. He deserves an I love you that doesn’t come in a moment of sadness. He deserves an I love you that comes with a moment of magic.

“ My mom loved me. She did. I know this and that’s enough. “ Billy says and smiles. (Y/N)wonders if he says those words to her or if they’re meant for himself. In the end, it doesn’t matter.

“ Let’s go to the beach “ Billy suggests and squeezes (Y/N) hand.

“ Yeah, let’s “

- OOO -

(Y/N) stands by the shore, boots long forgotten by the car as her feet are buried in the warm wet sand. The crashing of waves sends a calm through her. There’s no one but them at this small patch of beach. The sand isn’t perfectly white and the water isn’t crystal clear but it’s perfect. She’s missed the warmth and the sun. It feels good to be here, even better now that Billy has voiced that he’d like for her to come with him to California.

Maybe this can be a weekly thing soon. Them hanging out by the beach, away from the cold and the misery and the heartbreak.

Billy takes a last drag from his cigarette before he pushes himself off the car and walks towards (Y/N).

She looks phenomenal against the backdrop of the ocean. It’s his two favorite things in one place. He thinks that maybe this trip meant so much more than they had initially planned. It made him realize what actually matters to him.

If (Y/N) thinks he’s good enough then there might just be some truth to it. Because she’s entirely too good for him and yet she chooses to drive halfway across the country with him over a Highschool Dance.

He softly touches her hand and pulls her towards the car. Brushing off as she rises her eyebrows in confusion.

“ I’m sorry I made you miss the dance so uh — I think I owe you one “ Billy says. (Y/N) is sure she can just make out a slight blush settling on his cheeks.

“ Billy wha— “

He lifts up a finger as a sign for her to wait, then leans into the car and presses play on the radio, turning the volume all the way up.

Chicago’s “You’re the inspiration” sounds through the air and (Y/N) can’t keep herself from laughing.

“ Didn’t take you for someone who listens to that kind of music “ she jokes and grants Billy a teasing smirk.

“ Ah you know “ Billy says and shrugs “ the girls like it “.

“ Oh really ? “

“ Mmh “ Billy replies then pulls (Y/N) closer settling his hands on her hips as she wraps hers around his neck in return.

“ You’re just a big softy on the inside, huh ? I knew it !”

Billy smiles for a moment then grows serious again. He clears his throat once, twice, then speaks up again. There’s the force of a storm hidden in his eyes. And warmth. And love.

“ Look I — I gotta tell you something. And please don’t interrupt me because if I don’t do this now I’ll get the jitters and never say it. “

The words leaving his lips send (Y/N) heart beating faster.

“ I’m in love with you, (Y/N). I love you. I have to tell you this because the whole thing with my mother’s letters just made me realize that I don’t want to live my life constantly regretting not telling you how much you mean to me. I don’t want to settle for someone I don’t want just because I was too chicken shit to admit my feelings to you. And I know you think that friends falling in love can never last and I know that your parents’ failed marriage has you cynical and I know that this might not be forever but it is now and I honestly can’t see me loving anyone else. I don’t want to regret a single moment not spent with you. And I sure as hell don’t want my future children to feel like my heart is someplace else. I love you, (Y/N). I think you’re by far the coolest person of all time and also your ass is almost as great as mine. I thought you should know. “

There’s no fireworks or butterflies. Nothing fundamentally changes as he speaks those words and yet it feels different. Better. Like there’s a weight lifted and they can finally breathe again.

“ You think I’m cool ? “ (Y/N) asks. There’s a smile on her face that makes Billy’s heart stop and beat faster all at once.

“ That’s what you took from my monologue right now ? That’s it ? “

“ Billy ? “

“ Hmm ? “

“ I love you too. Happy Valentine’s Day. “

It’s all she says but it’s enough. Because he’s enough. For her. And maybe even for himself.

If there ever was a moment to kiss her it’s now. He thinks this is what she deserves. A beach and a love song and a sunset. Magic in a moment.

It’s slow and the air around them practically sizzles with electricity as they move closer. Every sense is registering what’s happening. Billy closes his eyes and feels her soft skin under his hands. He can smell the salty ocean air in her hair.

It’s but a whisper of a touch at first. When her lips meet his and, fuck does it sound cheesy, but feels like so much more than any other kiss ever did. Because she’s his girl.

And she doesn’t taste of cotton candy and miracles but coca cola and twizzlers and he still loves kissing her.

She’s soft and warm and she feels like home. Like a home he never knew he needed but now realizes he wants so desperately. And it’s not California or Hawkins or any other god forsaken place. It’s a person and a feeling and a lifetime of ordinary moments sprinkled with those few magical ones.

“ I wanna be forever young with you, Billy Hargrove “ (Y/N) whispers against his lips. She wonders if that makes sense.

To Billy it makes perfect sense.

- OOO -

They’re almost back in Hawkins, when (Y/N) pretty much forces Billy to pull off at the gas station to stock up on more sodas. That and she really has to pee.

Music is softly playing through the radio as Billy’s eyes fall onto a piece of paper placed on the passenger seat. He noticed (Y/N) had been writing something down during the last hour or so of their ride but hasn’t really paid any thought to what it might be.

Now that the opportunity presents itself though, he can’t help but feel curious. And yes it might be a little bit of an invasion of privacy but it’s literally right there next to him and it’s not like she’s tried to hide it or anything.

So with one last look out the window, he opens the folded piece of paper and begins to read.

“ Dear Mrs. Stone or Hargrove or Stone-Hargrove,

my name is (Y/N) and I’m a 18 year old Highschool student at Hawkins High. You don’t know me and honestly that’s fine, this isn’t about me. This is about Billy. The son you left behind all those years ago. I’m not going to judge you or tell you that you were wrong in doing so (even though you were). I have never been in a position like yours. I am, however, gonna tell you about the boy you abandoned, because he’s phenomenal. 

To begin with, he’s absolutely beautiful. Breathtakingly handsome. That comes with an ego, sure. But it makes him charming. So very charming. He’s smart too, even though he won’t admit it. I know he regularly steals books from my bookshelf only to replace them days later once he devoured them. I know this but I don’t mention it because I know it’s something he wants to keep to himself. I fear there’s a part of him that thinks he needs to be the best at something or he isn’t allowed to take pride in it. I think it’s his dad’s fault (Neil is still an asshole by the way).

Billy has a plethora of faults and issues but for every bad personality trait there’s 10 more that I love about him. He’s so genuinely human, faults and all. He’s not trying to be someone else just for the sake of fitting in. I think you broke his heart when you left but he’s trying so hard to hold it together. For his sake and mine.

Billy has a great taste in music. He’s funny. Genuinely funny. And fiercely protective.

It takes a lot to make him open up but once he does, my god it’s worth it. There’s so much love in him it’s breathtaking. It’s all consuming.

I wish you had taken the time to get to know the person he is, then again maybe he wouldn’t be the Billy he is now if it weren’t for you breaking his heart. Maybe he wouldn’t be my Billy.

Bottom line is, Billy Hargrove is so many things, but he’s not defined by the mistakes of his parents and their inability to love him the way he deserves.

This is my love letter to the boy who owns my heart and the boy you chose to leave behind to find yours.

Regards,

(Y/N)”

And it’s then, that Billy realizes she’s right. That when spring comes around and he’s free to leave his father’s home, that he won’t be defined by another person’s choice anymore. That he gets to decide who he is. That he gets to be goofy and ridiculous and silly. That he gets to make mistakes without having to fear repercussions.

That he gets to love.

That he gets to be loved in return.

As he glances out the window again he catches sight of (Y/N) walking back towards the car and as their eyes meet, she smiles that smile that makes his entire world seem just a little brighter.

And looking at her now, he can’t wait for their future to begin.

February fucking sucks. That’s the underlying truth of it all. It’s grey and dark and cold and miserable. But february too will pass and make room for march then april. For spring and warmth and a future that’s uncertain in so many ways. But a future he knows for sure, will be filled with love.