#i think what i mean is i like that wyll seems so far a genuinely happy dude who is still complex and flawed and reads people badly

[pigeonliker420]

i love wyll but he does say. remarkably stupid things sometimes

[feyascorner]

at the end of the day

summary. you and astarion have your first genuine fight and the other companions try to patch things between the two of you.

warnings. comfort/fluff

pairing. Astarion x GN!Reader

a/n. have not written an actual one-shot in a while omg,...

Breakfast is eaten in silence. One that's been extending far past its welcome date now.

Shadowheart grips her fork, feeling the flitting glances exchanged amongst the others around the table while she maintains focus on the two individuals sitting on opposite sides of the table. Your eyes remain trained on the bread sitting on your plate and Astarion swirls his chalice aimlessly in his hand, neither of you even acknowledging the presence of the other. The cleric grimaces as you stand suddenly, your chair scraping against the floor as you do so.

"Thanks for the food, Gale," is all you mutter before leaving the room with your plate in hand. Astarion rises from his own chair in an instant, huffing.

"I must take my leave as well."

When both parties have left the room, all five other companions stare at one another in a knowing silence. Lae'zel is the only one who doesn't seem the slightest bothered. Wyll is the one to break the uncomfortable tension in the air, clearing his throat after Lae'zel nearly bites her fork off. "I see they're still amidst their lovers' quarrel."

"What are they even fighting about?" Karlach groans, slumping into her chair with an exasperated groan.

"It was nice the first few days to have a good night's sleep without their incessant noises," Shadowheart grumbles, shoving an egg into her mouth. "But now, this is arguable worse."

"Should we...aid them somehow?" Gale blinks.

Lae'zel snorts. "They're adults, we don't need to coddle them, wizard."

Despite her words, they do find themselves a few hours later in unanimous agreement to do something to ease the unfamiliar dryness of the camp dynamic. It comes in multiple attempts. And to say few---if not all--were unsuccessful, is an understatement.

First, when out in the woods, Gale makes an effort to spark a conversation that would prompt both you and Astarion to join in. You nod occasionally, though lost in thought, while Astarion promptly ignores whatever he's talking about. It's a pathetic attempt that has nobody but himself babbling away, which earns a grunt from Shadowheart. It's enough to shut him up, thankfully.

Second, Karlach uses her uncanny ability to lift someone's spirits. Jokes, dancing, all that jazz. Even booze. She urges you to let loose, but all you do in response is smile at her apologetically while Astarion just glares off into space. Another failed attempt. Lae'zel pats Karlach on the shoulder.

Wyll tells stories of his monster hunting days which you usually take an interest in. Astarion naturally listens to what a monster hunter does when he's not hunting monsters, but that's all it is. You and Astarion only listen. There are quips and lingering questions, but neither of you ever direct it at one another, or bother to add into the conversation either. The sheer amount of teasing questions has Wyll's head spinning by the end of it. Lae'zel rolls her eyes.

Just when things couldn't possibly get any worse, you're ambushed. It's a small horde of goblins---nothing beyond your capabilities, but your companions do take some small scratches here and there. Somehow, though he rarely does, as he prefers staying behind you or Karlach, Astarion does too. And despite his efforts to hide it behind his back, you also didn't miss the cut lining Astarion's arm to his elbow. It's not deep by any means, and if it were your own injury, you'd likely just brush it off.

But it's on his skin, and he'd gotten it when taking a hit from an arrow that should've cut your arm.

Blasted hells, you think, as he shrugs it off. Even when you can clearly see him clenching his jaw to bite away the pain.

If battle won't be the end of you, you're sure your idiot of a boyfriend might be instead.

"Come here, you fool," you mutter, holding out your hand. He doesn't even consider the fact that you're mad at one another and immediately extends his arm to you. Habits, you suppose.

You mumble out a weak scolding as he watches you wrap the wound through his lashes. He shivers as you lather a cool ointment on the cut, hoping it's enough to soothe the pain before Shadowheart's recovered enough to properly heal him. He lifts a pale hand to your face, and for a moment, you think he might pinch you. Instead, he runs a thumb across your cheek, spreading the ointment on a scratch you hadn't even realized was there in the first place.

You meet his eyes, your own softening as he cups his fingertips around your cheek. The way he looks at you is overwhelming sometimes---like you're the only thing he gives a damn about in this world---but it's a welcome feeling when he hasn't even looked you in the eye this way in days now. For a moment, you realize you don't even remember why the two of you were mad at one another in the first place.

A laugh threatens to escape your throat. How childish, truly.

And then he flicks your forehead, unable to help the grin etching onto his lips when you blink in surprise.

"That was for making me sleep by myself for three nights."

You swat at his arm while he dodges each of your lazy attempts to get back at him. And though the two of you continue bickering, unbeknownst to you, you have an audience a good bit away, watching you return to your old ways after making them worry for so long.

"What a sight it is--to see young people in love again," Wyll smiles.

Shadowheart deadpans. "Isn't Astarion nearing 240?"

"Who cares?" Karlach shrugs, slinging her arms on either side of her companions with a toothy beam. "What matters is that they made up...and we didn't even have to help them."

[avocado-writing]

Can I request companions + Halsins reactions to a tav who snorts when they laugh really hard and is embarrassed about it so they try to control their laughter as much as possible?

OH i love this one!!

Astarion

oh he is delighted when he first hears you.

will 👏 not 👏 stop 👏 teasing 👏 you 👏

but you know he doesn’t really mean anything by it. if you tease him back about things in return, he thinks it’s all good fun.

eventually becomes quite fond of your laugh. it’s nice to hear something so genuine when he lives a live of exaggeration and attempting to hide his emotions.

begins to smile whenever he hears it.

Gale

so so so so pleased to have made you laugh that hard.

he sees the way you cover your mouth in embarrassment and lets you know that he finds your laugh charming. he can see how flustered that makes you but you seem pleased, too.

goes out of his way to make you chuckle from that point on. more than usual, anyway, and he looks so happy whenever you snort because of him. expect lots of daft puns.

you think maybe you’ve laughed more with Gale than you have for the rest of your life.

Wyll

genuinely taken aback, but doesn’t mean to be rude.

when he sees you’re humiliated by it, he quickly reassures you that there’s nothing wrong with how you laugh, he just didn’t expect it.

you’ve been so solemn on this journey so far, after all — he thought you were just averse to humour, not that you were trying to hide how you sounded!

encourages you to laugh more, not cover up this lovely thing about you. if anyone has anything to say about it?? well your Blade will step in ❤️

Karlach

“oh my GODS I love your laugh!”

she’s so chuffed to hear it properly! you sound so lovely!

her laugh is loud too, big and booming and takes over the whole camp.

she tries to get you to laugh more. if she knows you’re ticklish, she will descend upon you until you’ve lost it, just left in tears.

it’s hard to feel self conscious about it when she’s there, making you so happy!

Lae’zel

also not known for her sense of humour… but something happens to make you laugh one day, and you snort so loudly.

she is so shocked that she starts to laugh too, and it’s such a strange sound! like a croak. you can’t help but giggle in response.

and then the two of you are just there, like you’ve had Hideous Laughter cast on you, losing yourselves at the silliness of the situation, stuck in utter joy at each other’s laughs.

eventually you compose yourselves. she looks you in the eye, wipes away a tear.

“we never speak of this again.”

Shadowheart

giggles when she hears you, then manages to get ahold of yourself.

“sorry, sorry. I just wasn’t expecting… that.”

confesses that she’s unused to much laughter due to her upbringing, so she understands your serious nature.

but, at the same time, encourages you to express your feelings. she knows she’d love to hear you laugh more. she finds it quite sweet, actually.

and if anyone mocks you? well, no heals for them.

Halsin

also overjoyed.

does what he can to bring the sound out of you more. it quickly becomes one of his favourites.

when you confide you’re self-conscious about it, he reassures you:

”my heart, there are many wonderful sounds in nature that perhaps we don’t expect. maybe yours is one of them. it makes it no less beautiful.”

then he turns into a bear and does a forward roll which leaves you in stitches 💕

[stars-and-clouds]

Why Astarion Will Not Betray Tav

Spoilers for all of Baldur’s Gate 3, EA, patch 8:

Note: This post was written in Oct ‘22, patch 8 Early Access of Baldur’s Gate 3.

This post started as a 'Astarion isn't as bad as you might think' post but turned into an analysis of him xD

I have found a lot of people thinking Astarion would be the evil one of the party down the road but I really disagree. I made this character analysis to see how likely he is to do so and/or break your heart. If anyone, it is probably Gale or Wyll who will betray us, in my opinion, or at least not a high approval Astarion. I tried being as objective as I could while also not trying to be outright dismissive/having opposition bias. Hope this helps people understand him a bit more, and do respectfully correct me if I have made an error.

So here is why I think Astarion will not end up breaking your heart, but it is plausible that he may leave you through your own choices in the story, especially related to his part in it:

Emotional Character Sketch

Astarion's honesty and vulnerability-

“Oh please, you think I’m the only one with secrets? At least you know there’s something I’m not telling you.”

Out of all the companions so far, Astarion is the one who has been the most open and vulnerable with us. He told us he's not only a vampire but a vampire’s slave, he told us his master's name, where Cazador lives, he was vulnerable with the hunter and he trusts you with the situation (who you can actually set lose on him. So, you can put his life in danger with the knowledge he has given you. No one who has a grand scheme of betraying you does that), he showed you his markings which is something deeply traumatic for him, and he let you in about one of his insecurities- his appearance. Imagine being vain and insecure and then being unable to do anything about it because you can't look at yourself. He shared that with you. Compared to this, the other companions share precious little, nothing big enough to put their life in your hands. You can't betray any of the companions so early on in the story, but you can betray Astarion. If anything, he comes off as a red herring to me.

Astarion is honest about his transgressions and openly enjoys evil acts like murder and malicious trickery, even if it leads to people being seriously hurt. Unlike Gale and Wyll who constantly try to come off as good guys, almost like they're trying to convince everyone around them (and themselves) that they're noble-hearted. Astarion is openly greedy as well. My point is, he is more honest about his shortcomings than anyone else, the only one like this is Lae’zel. So, even in the event that he does decide to leave you, it will not be a betrayal, you'd know it's coming because he would not hide it. Think about it, the guy straight up attacked the gur hunter mid-conversation when we could've sneak attacked him like, you know, a rogue. He is too on edge all the time to play the sneaky, slow game. He never feels safe enough to sit and scheme about.

Feelings for Tav-

"I want to know what the world sees when it looks at me. (in a small voice, looking sheepish) What you see."

He really wants to know if you find him attractive in the mirror cutscene. Almost seems hesitant at first, brushing you away but then pleading you to stay and push himself to ask for your help and opinion. That entire sequence seems like a long winded way of him sneakily asking you if you find him attractive or not. He really cares what you think and if you're attracted to him.

Part of me thinks he genuinely does like Tav and has liked them ever since they met. He says it (at least to my knowledge) three times in three different instances that he thinks there is a connection between them, a spark and he knows we have felt it too. This is why when he says he's been 'waiting to have (Tav),' since he 'first set eyes on (Tav),' before they make love for the first time, he really means it. (Or it could also be that he is very very good at seduction, something he learnt over two centuries by working for Cazador). He holds himself back to not lose control and hurt you when you make love for the first time, he also says he doesn't want bite you without your permission, he just wants to have fun and feel good together.

I reckon what he appreciates is Tav's intelligence (as he likes to outsmart people himself) and survivalist abilities (compliments it twice, 1. saying Tav is ‘quite the ally’ and 2. how Tav has survived everything that has come so far, which has impressed him) as he is extremely survivalist himself (as shown by his disapproval of choosing to take the poison from the druid healer). He wants to live, no matter what and take revenge on Cazador.

Astarion, Tav and Sex:

(Speculation) 

As I wrote in my sexual character sketch of him, I don't think he takes sex lightly either, he likes to show that it isn't a big deal to him (as he does with everything else) but I doubt sex is just another fun physical activity to him. I don't think he's had the chance to be sexual in the past two hundred years and you're not only his first non-bestial feed, but also his first proper sexual partner since he's been a vampire. Maybe he was molested as a slave, I don't put that past Cazador, but molestation does not equate to sexual experience. So, I don't think he has even had sex in the last two hundred years or so he's been Cazador's slave. It is possible that he was involved with other slaves I don't know of them or what their 'social life' would have been like, if any. Maybe he did have sex with other slaves, maybe Cazador made him do sexual things to others, I don't know; but to conclude, I really doubt he has had a choice in anything sexual in the last two centuries and fast forward to his first taste of freedom, he meets us. Doubt he had time for sex between then and now.

(Not speculation) 

He values sex, especially with Tav, because he is also genuinely annoyed when you tell him you're sleeping with someone else during the party, telling you sarcastically to enjoy your fun and to 'piss off,' while grimacing and looking away, while in the same breath saying he's not jealous. It comes across as if he is really offended and hurt that you chose someone else, not him. Especially if he really believes you share a special connection (that is not just the tadpole lel); he is upset that you didn't feel the same way he did because he certainly had hopes. It could also be that his pride is hurt.

Another reason I think he doesn't believe in the 'it's just sex,' philosophy is that when you tell him 'it's just sex, nothing serious,' he will reply by saying, 'serious or not, it's something,'. Also, he does not assume that having sex for fun won't change anything. He will start calling you 'lover' after your first time together and if you offer sex while you're called for by some other companion he would say 'we'll end tonight as friends,' because to him, you'd stop being friends and change into, well, lovers if you have sex. He clearly thinks there is value in the activity and he cherishes it, hence drawing you in, making you wait for it instead of just shagging you in the bushes (another idea he throws shade at indirectly when you refer to having sex with Shadowheart). He can be sentimental it would seem. 

His sentimentality-

"Will this little adventure of ours be over?... Good. I don't want you to run off just yet"

Very early on in the adventure, he will start questioning what it will be like when you get rid of your tadpoles, as he looks at the stars. He questions if you and he will go their separate ways after that and it's clear he doesn't want to, either for practical reasons as he says you're a powerful ally and he 'still has need of (Tav),' or he's attached since he is lonely and you've shown him the respect that he hasn't been given in a long long time.

When you give him your blood he says it is a gift, a gift he will not forget.

He doesn't even consider killing you and the companions when the book of necromancy asks him to. The second remark about 'well, maybe, (companion name),' seems to be one of his jokes because he doesn't act upon it, especially if he says Shadowheart’s name as they both don't seem to get along at all, but it seems like a sarcastic jab more than a threat. A vampire, who is usually a lawful evil, would have done whatever the book said on principle, without question.

Someone who does betray you is Gale and might do so even going forward, a good guy who is really just hiding secrets that could harm everyone. If you don't give Gale artefacts to consume, he will go ahead and make a deal with Raphael without any prior discussion or hinting at it to you and then shit-talk you like he is throwing a tantrum whilst threatening to leave your party. Astarion himself is tempted to make the deal with Raphael on the fever night but he doesn't, he goes to ‘bed’ without doing so despite how extremely he believes in not dying. He probably does it because he considers it the same thing as being with Cazador, but the point here is he lets you know he was even thinking of it, Gale did not. Especially when Gale approves of you not taking the deal IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Astarion will be offended when you say you want someone else to end you if the tadpole takes over. He’ll say, 'Oh, I see how it is,' with an angry face. The guy is offended you don't trust him to do it well and that you chose someone else over him.

Despite himself, Astarion constantly wants safety and comfort, another reason he wants to be in the group is because there is safety in numbers and Astarion is extremely survivalist. He wants to hope but due to his abusive past, he cannot let it happen, actively pushing you away, saying 'I don't need anything from you,' when you try to comfort him. This is usually a cry for help from abuse victims. It is the feeling of being torn between needing help to get out of your bad situation and also fear of being betrayed by those you trusted.

He is not mindlessly cruel-

He has a very clear line between who should and shouldn't be hurt. Which is strange for a vampire. He does not want to hurt innocents (he disapproves when you want to hurt the entire world i.e innocents with your tadpole power; he also earnestly says he won't harm an innocent while trying to feed, only bandits and our foes as they were going to die anyway). 

Anyone who digs their own grave can die suffocating, according to him but if helpless or 'innocents,' are hurting he wants to help them. I think he truly believes he was innocent when taken slave and is salty that no one came to help him, (”The strong had two centuries to pluck me from torture, but no one came”) which is why he supports helping Mayrina who was tricked by a hag, and not the tieflings who seem more than capable of helping themselves. One could say that he really did dig his own grave by choosing to be Cazador's spawn but he said that he did not know what accepting his offer of vampirism entails (i.e being a half-vampire slave), like a deal with the devil only the devil seems like a helpful samaritan- this would put him in the exact position as Mayrina's. Even if that isn't the case, what matters is he believes he's innocent and doesn't want others to go through what he did. The only exception to innocent argument, in my opinion, is that he is racist towards Goblins and other humanoid creatures, he considers Ogres and Goblins disgusting and won't risk his skin for them (but racism against them seems to be quite prevalent throughout this world amongst everyone, so this isn’t special to him).

"We killed some Goblins to save some tieflings. The tally of the lives didn't change much."

Another thing I'd like to address is the argument of how he enjoys the goblin path more than the tieflings’ path is because he is evil and hurting tieflings brings him joy. But, he enjoys killing in the tiefling path as much as the goblin path. There is no difference according to him because the body count remains the same, as he says. In my opinion, it was all the tiefling blood he could drink (he can actually get drunk off blood) and the open hedonism (vampires are hedonistic by nature) at the party with the goblins. Whereas the tiefling path was clean, no blood to drink and he was being lauded as a hero, which he hates. He hates virtue signalling. He wants to come off as evil with a devil-may-care attitude because he thinks that is what true power is, that is the only power he's known all his vampiric life through Cazador. He thinks truly powerful people can do anything and get away with it, “you can’t look at the world and tell me I am wrong”. This brings me to his bravado.

Astarion's bravado-

He wants to come off as a suave, smooth-talking, selfish rogue who cannot be trusted. He tells you that he would be disappointed in you if you trusted him, but he already trusts you himself. When you sell him out to the gur hunter, he is genuinely surprised and seems to be a bit torn up that you betrayed him. This could just be an expectation of one-sided loyalty that most narcissists have but Astarion is not a narcissist.

He is a massive liar, but his face always gives it away. He lies about having an enticing dream when he actually dreamt of Cazador having found him and recounting his commandments to him. He lies that he needs your blood because he is weak, but he actually needs to feed on a thinking creature to check whether or not he can break his master's command of 'thou shall not drink of thinking creatures'. He is elated not only from the taste but also that he can actually disobey his slaver. All of these are things he is scared to admit because he is wary of being taken advantage of.

He tries avoiding the past instead of thinking upon it, he does not like brooding but it clearly affects him every waking moment. He gets mad at us exhuming his past when he is still defined by it. He likes to show, or perhaps even think himself, that he has moved on from it and looks to the future but all of his actions are only about taking revenge. Revenge is always about being stuck in the past.

He will shirk off all of your attempts to console him while appreciating at the same time when you suceeed a pursuation check to pursuade him to share details about himself (another characteristic of lonely and cynical people, they want to be sure the person really cares and thus want to be encouraged to talk about themselves).

Why he is not just manipulating and seducing you-

If he was manipulating you, he would approve of even the choices you make that he disagrees with. He would not say he doesn't want to sleep with you, even on low approval, because sex is one of the surest ways to manipulate people and that will ensure a place for him in your party and your support. He seems to make a choice of it depending on how much he likes you, so I don’t usually agree with the theory that he is seducing you because he needs you.

---

Other Miscellaneous Notes:

He is not a good boy-

All of this shouldn't suggest he is a nice boy. He's sensitive but still a bad boy. I am still new to D&D so my knowledge isn't as extensive, but I know the vampires in forgotten realms are inherently evil, they can't help it. Astarion simply doesn't have a choice but to perform and revel in the evil things he does, it's in his nature. He enjoys cruelty, murder and hedonism. I would place Astarion as a Chaotic Evil at his worst and Chaotic Neutral at his best.

note: I would like to mention, alignments are only guidelines however and no real person ever acts only inside their alignments in any story, that makes them boring and Astarion is the best-written character in bg3 so far. He is very conflicted between a lot of his own aspects and that includes going against his nature.

Romance going bad-

If I imagine a typical evil vampire romance, by textbook definition, he will get possessive and jealous over Tav. He will forcefully convert them to a vampire or spawn so that he doesn't have to spend eternity alone if they die. He will become extremely paranoid over their safety and might suffocate them with extreme affection and obsession. Dark Desire does that to vampires, it twists every emotion for the worst and extreme. 

note: But we have already seen that Astarion doesn't completely follow these attributes. Maybe they work differently in a story than in a campaign (I do not know anything about BG1 and BG2). (see- vampire lore v/s Astarion’s character conflicts below)

Can he be redeemed?-

I am usually not a big fan of redemption arcs but I do like some of them when the characters having it makes sense for their stories. Does it make sense for Astarion? It's too early to tell to be honest. 

But so far, he has shown signs of not liking that he's a vampire. In fact, I think he really dislikes it.

Some examples are below:

He says eternity is much longer than he expected it to be when you ask him about his past.

He gets sad when he says he can't even remember his face, having never seen it since he became a vampire, his face is just a dark shape in his past. Then he gets angry, throws the mirror away and says, "...another thing I've lost"

When you’re in the underdark, he cites appreciation for being in the sun saying, "I'd much rather be outside, with the sun on my skin." 

He misses his home or is at least curious about his past life (ref: the mirror in the cellar).

He also says he misses being able to look at himself, “Preening in the looking glass? Petty vanity? Of course, I miss it.”

He misses the taste of wine, it can be assumed he had a great love for fine spirits as he compares the taste of different blood types to different alcohols, which also shows he likes reminiscing upon his past. 

In contrast to this, he has never shown to have pride over being a vampire. He appreciates the power that comes from it but there is no passion or pride in him for being an undead.

How I think he can be redeemed (if possible)-

"Vampires are usually the result of a dark pact and while the mortal may not make the deal with the goal of becoming a vampire in mind the dark powers they've negotiated with cares little and only seeks to sow as much evil and strife within the world as a result of such a deal."

So, what if Astarion is promised to some entity by Cazador and that is what his marks are for? They are written in infernal. What if we can bargain with the entity for Cazador instead and bring Astarion back to life through other means? This could be a path to possibly ‘redeeming’ Astarion and making him a human again. 

Monster Manual page 295 has a sidebar "Player Characters as Vampires" that explains that vampirism is reversed in two ways:

-A wish spell

-Killing the character and bringing them back to life through revivify. (source, Reddit comment)

So if a situation arises that gives us the opportunity to do either of these things, I suppose we can bring Astarion back to life and make him an elf again. That is how I think he can be ‘redeemed’ because I do not see any other way for him to be a good vampire within the lore constraints, which may not be entirely an issue to be fair. (see- vampire lore v/s Astarion’s character conflicts below)

I also think, the book of necromancy he is so keen on reading will reveal him secrets about making Cazador alive again and hence weaker than him, or he will himself want to become alive after defeating Cazador.

note: I admit I think this would put a damper on people wanting to be his vampire queen/king but being a vampire in this world is not as romantic as it is in other fantasy worlds. The D&D guides even go as far as saying playing as a vampire is difficult because you truly have to be evil and make evil choices, that you should start as a spawn and then move on to becoming a true vampire over the campaign as it would be a very difficult being to play.

Astarion’s Past (Speculation according to 5e lore)-

Reference

note- Vampirism lore from The Forgotten Realms seems to be scarce but Astarion seems to follow some of the 5th edition rules so I'm assuming this reference is cool for theory crafting.

According to vampire lore, he could have been an okayish person in his life, not too good, not too bad. Maybe he was a true neutral.

"When a vampire comes into being they don't behave like the people they were in life. They are inverted, the chaste becoming temptresses, the kind becoming cruel, the once holy now finding glory in perversion. All their once positive qualities are specifically inverted to form a more personalized evil."

According to this description, it is viable to believe that he was true neutral as an elf because I think he is chaotic evil/neutral as the undead. That would be its evil inversion, would it not?

I have issues with this description as it is very vague and weird as ‘inverted’ suggests the good will become bad, bad will become good and neutral might stay neutral.

note: again, I would like to point out that alignments are just guides, no character or person truly ever acts only within their alignment.

- Conflicts between vampire lore and Astarion’s behaviour in-game:

"Inhuman, merciless, and uncaring about their earlier life."

This is very curious to me because we already know Astarion longs for his home and when we ask about his past life he gets sad, saying he doesn't remember. As stated above, he does already miss being a human and seems to dislike being a vampire.

“The vast majority of vampires are lawful evil, and none but the greenies attempt to maintain their inner humanity and remain even a neutral, let alone a good one.”

This is interesting because according to him, until Tav, Astarion was a greenie as in he didn't feed from thinking beings. (Did we lead him down the bad path? Lol). So he could have actively tried to retain some of his humanity and morality while under Cazador for all those years.

"Greed can be considered to be the warped form of charity. A generous cleric who becomes a vampire may acquire a taste for the blood of those whose mouths they once fed out of their own pocket. Luring them in with their known charity only to drain them of their lives and possesses."

This is interesting because Astarion is extremely greedy. So perhaps he was a generous noble?

(Spoilers for unreleased content): 

The above speculation seems unlikely because, from the PAX East Gameplay Reveal, we know that he was a corrupt magistrate. He would pass out false sentences to feed people to Cazador for money. Seems that his greed has passed down from his real life to his vampiric life too. This seems to be a big oversight as 5e D&D guide has a table on how each good attribute is twisted in the afterlife for the worse.

It seems that Astarion is not a typical vampire and may not follow all the evil requirements of being a vampire. It could also be the tadpole but he exhibits behaviours that seem to be coming from a deeper sense of self formed over years and not just a new personality developed within days since the tadpole's infection.

End note:

Warning- here be big spoilers for Dragon Age: Inquisition characters.

I do not want it to sound like Astarion will never leave your side or that he'll support you through anything because he won't. He already doesn't, he openly disapproves of your noble choices. But he will not backstab you like Solas or Iron Bull did in Dragon Age: Inquisition. If he decides to leave you, it'll be through either your own betrayal (like setting the hunter upon him) or you both having differences in goals. Astarion's only goal is beating Cazador, if you don't support that, he will leave you. I really think it will be that simple. If anything, it might be like Sera leaving the inquisition upon differences in ideals.

Another way he could leave is through the inability to control the tadpole or his markings or Cazador somehow having control over him again.

[ride-a-dromedary]

Alright, the jack in the box is wound, and the coherence is coming to me. Halsin and the dryad, I was talking about his response if the PC indicates that he is most comfortable after a supper large enough to induce hibernation:

"Mindless gorging...? No, that is not right. I did not realize you thought that of me."

And why this keeps catching in my mind is not necessarily what he says, but how he says it (so I am commending Dave Jones' voice acting here). The rest of Halsin's responses to incorrect answers are generally even toned and corrective; firm, usually, but not inherently overly emotional. Much like a teacher correcting a student. But this one...he sounds genuinely surprised and taken aback that the PC would even suggest that. The "no, that is not right" is even firmer on its heels. And the last part...the last part, his voice is smaller. Less forward. I would not go so far as to suggest hurt, but it is approaching that territory. It comes so fast after his firm no, that it almost sounds like something that slipped by accident. Like something that was meant to be muttered under the breath, but it slipped from him because the surprise was so organic.

Alone, it doesn't mean too much. It's a slight offense to an obviously nonfactual statement. And that's likely all it is. I'm about to read too deep into this, I am aware.

But combined with the other things spread throughout Halsin's dialogue, particularly the implication that he is otherwise used to people making commentary on his physical appearance or the physicality of his being, it suggests an extra layer of hurt. An extra layer of: "I did not expect this from you, of all people." Not quite a betrayal, but approaching one.

What makes it particularly catching, is that one of the things you are able to wrench (and I say wrench because getting Halsin to share mundane personal details about himself is a production - and it makes *sense* it's a production if a. We keep in mind that Halsin himself doesn't seem all too sure who he is beyond his preoccupation - which elves are prone to but Halsin also just has...a lot on his plate that have evidently stunted his identity formation - to the point where he even claims he was forgetting who he was, and b. If he is used to questions concerning himself and his experience leading into questions regarding his sex life or his physical activities, see: the companion banter with Wyll and Karlach, he likely...doesn't really keep ready details about himself personally on tap anymore. He's so unused to people being interested in Halsin, that he's taken aback when they are. It becomes the "In the moment, I forget everything and anything I like to do for fun" mentality - no one really cares about what I like to do anyway - if you will. He even goes so far as to joking that the PC may be a doppelganger because *why else would they want to know these things*) out of Halsin when you ask him about himself is that he has a sweet tooth. That he likes honey, and people find that amusing. He chuckles, but his face falls, evidently prepping for the PC to make a similar comment (and he attempts to beat you to the joke about that, though a PC can still call that "on the nose" to which he responds that there is little point in denying oneself if it doesn't hurt anybody - indulging isn't a bad thing). If the PC instead chooses that he should pay little attention to what others think, he gives that infamous: "sometimes I think people look at me and imagine my feelings can't be hurt" line. Which implies - regardless of whether he verbalizes it or not - things in this thread hurt his feelings. Comments or assumptions about his body and his person hurt his feelings. He won't say it, but they do. The PC is likely aware of this by this point in the relationship.

Halsin does not otherwise bring up eating or food to any level of significance or directness - the sweet tooth comment was the only time (you could assume outside of canon interactions that they've had other conversations between them and that perhaps this was brought up, but we are going to base this solely in what Halsin reveals in canon). He brings up hibernation, but specifically the sleeping part of it. Nothing else.

So, the PC then potentially goes ahead and makes an assumption of him during the dryad. How'd they arrive at this conclusion, as it obviously surprises Halsin that they did? It reads, very much, that the PC is making this assumption based on the comment about his sweet tooth, his comment on indulgence, and his physicality (note: the ha ha bear and hibernation thing almost seems like an afterthought - Halsin latches *very* quickly onto the "mindless gorging" part). All things that he has shown very evident discomfort (which is ironic because the question is when he feels most comfortable) or hesitance towards (he claims there is nothing wrong with indulgence, but never seems to indulge himself beyond sex, if that. Gee, what does that remind you of?)

Halsin entrusted this individual with this information, as frivolous as it was, potentially revealed that it hurts his feelings when people make assumptions of him, and this individual then went used that information and made the assuming connection: "So, this is a big man. He said he liked sugar, so he must like to eat and indulge. It must be his favourite thing to do because look at him." I am going to essentially ignore everything else I could have possibly heard, and make a bear hibernation joke that has nothing to do with sleeping being a comfort, but emphasize the eating part.

So, yeah, he's a little taken aback - incredulous, you might say. A little hurt. Resigned, almost. Because at that point, you can make a very logical assumption that Halsin came to a very quick snap realization that perhaps this person was not so different from the others as he thought. That it always eventually comes back to that. What else was he expecting? When has it ever been any different for him?

[shimmerbeasts]

The issues with taking control of something like this for yourself, the endless deals that are there, and with this one, it was not so easily served with a blade to the throat, a slash and a cut, the removal of flesh and bones from one, as this one could not be so easily harmed at all, no not like her brother, who she enjoyed every single moment of what she had done to him, to ensure that he suffered as much as possible for think that he was the one, the one above all others, that his life was better than her own, holding more meaning, more purpose, more of everything when she had been right there the entire time, wanting for so much more, and learning that the world was not going to hand you anything, you had to take it for yourself.

“What do you want now?” As she paced back and forth within the tent, within another form, that she held, to freely move within the city, you would not believe, how many people, spill their secrets freely, to her and believe they can gain something from her, other than their lives, slipping from them with their final gasps. “The old man will be captured soon.” As she rolled her eyes, she was not involved in that, the other two, idiots she had to share power with, didn’t want her involved with it nor her followers,s he was too wild, too unstable, they could not control her and predict what she could do so they kept her within this city then, so be it, there was more than enough her, so much chaos and madness waiting, so much blood as well, rivers of blood, waiting to burst and wash away everyone and leaving her to bask within it and offer it up to the only god that matters, as her eyes narrow upon the devil. “Careful.” As she crossed the distance between them with the blade pressed into the flat of her stomach. “I am not afraid of you, don’t speak to me, in such a manner again, or you will be going back to the inferno you crawled out from, in pieces.”

"I would advise against this, my dear."

Mizora gingerly closed her fingers around Orin's wrist and pushed her hand down, forcing the shapeshifter to lower the ornate, bloodred and curved dagger, at which handle her nether stone flashed ominously.

The Cambion explained: "If you kill me, I will just reform in Avernus, but most of all, if you kill me, then Wyll dies and becomes a lemure in Hell. Ergo I have no reason to return to the surface world and continue helping you. If anything, I might become angry enough to help your brother, dearest. He might not recall our arrangement, but it seems my presence earlier did jog his memory if only a little."

"However, I do recognise that you probably do not care too much about what I think. So how about I tell you exactly what the ramifications for you are, Orin?" Mizora's smile turned wolfish and her wings opened and shut a bit. She leaned closer, voice nothing but a whisper: "You kill me, and you prove Gortasch and Kethric right in their assumptions about you all over again."

Circling around behind the shapeshifter, Mizora's tail curled around her ankle like an adder and she placed a flat hand on Orin's shoulder as she continued talking: "Killing me makes you yet again nothing more than a rapid, deranged, maniac-riddled dog. No wonder, your partners-in-crime chose to lock you up in a kennel, because that is what Baldur's Gate is. Make no mistake; it is your kennel! I am genuinely surprised neither Gortasch, nor Kethric has decided to put shackles on your hands, pull your fangs and file off your claws. After all, you are directionless. As far as they are concerned, you always have been and you always will be."

"And believe me, that attitude of yours is the reason, you will not get your father's love or approval", Mizora finished, plunging the metaphorical dagger deeper into Orin's heart, "Bhaal is the Father of Murder, and murder is many things but directionless killing. If Bhaal wanted that, he wouldn't need you. Just watching a pack of wolves devour a deer would give him the same result." Her hand once more wound around Orin's wrist, lifting up her dagger so they could reexamine the red stone.

"Think about it", Mizora murmured and there seemed to be a pitiful note in her voice, "You have more power than you could have ever dreamt of, and yet your life is as purposeless as it has ever been. You are still nothing in your father's eyes and nothing in the eyes of those, who allied with you. I know how maddening that feeling is. How rage-inducing. You have every right to show them all but can't if you keep running in a circle."

@fallesto cont. from here.

[crossdressingdeath]

Gale: It is no small thing to be a god's Chosen. Whatever life you once claimed to lead, it only follows from now on. Where Bhaal leads, you will be forced to go. You know this for yourself, of course.

Shadowheart: You accepted Bhaal, after everything we've been through? I can only hope this is part of some clever scheme I'm not privy to. Otherwise you might as well have stayed with the Absolute.

Karlach: Gods. You've really done it now, haven't you. I need you to finish what we started. I need you to remember me - our mission - long enough for that. If you try anything else, I'll kill you. Understand?

Lae'zel: Lord Bhaal's Chosen. You must think yourself mighty for it. Yet you were already mighty. And you would have been mightier still if you'd defied him and your 'urges'.

Wyll: By the gone gods. It isn't the blood you've spilled or the lives you've snuffed out that horrify me most. It's the pride you take in it, as if you've done all sixteen planes a great favour. When the Absolute falls, I wager our alliance falls with it.

Halsin: I had hoped you would shun Bhaal's overtures... but those hopes are dashed. To be a vessel for murder itself? I can think of few things less natural.

Did you guys enjoy Durge having nuance? Moral complexity? Interesting themes? Yeah, that's done now. If you become Bhaal's Chosen you are Evil McEvil doing Evil for the sake of Evil like the villain from a Saturday morning cartoon with more murder. I spared Isobel and took every dialogue option that followed the theme of "I'm scared and desperate and don't want to do this but Bhaal will kill me if I don't" and it is still this response. I genuinely don't know if I should be angry at the companions or Larian's writing team! In-universe Bhaalspawn don't seem to be treated great by the people of Faerûn (After the Bhaalspawn reveal Halsin mentions that if you tell the wrong people what you are you're liable to get lynched and I know BG2 mentions witch hunts, although I don't know the details since I... haven't reached BG2 yet) and the companions all either lived through the Bhaalspawn crisis or likely grew up hearing stories about it (if Astarion's comment that more parents scare their kids with stories about Bhaalspawn than about vampires is to be believed, anyway), so it wouldn't be strange for the companions to believe on at least some level that Bhaalspawn are inherently evil! It would make sense for them to subconsciously be holding Durge to a much higher standard than they do the other companions and as a result responding much worse to them making the evil choice (even though unlike the other companions their life is explicitly on the line if they refuse)! And that is what they're doing; I don't have the companion reactions to every bad personal quest ending, but no one's saying their alliance with ascended Astarion will end when the brain falls and as far as I'm aware there is no other origin quest ending that will lead to a companion trying to kill the character whose quest it is the way Jaheira, Minsc and I believe potentially Wyll do with Chosen Durge. But all of that makes sense and fits with the lore if we assume that the companions are all assuming Durge became Bhaal's Chosen because Bhaalspawn are evil regardless of what Durge says. However if that is the case the fact that there's never a chance to get into it is a massive misstep, because it turning out that all your friends who insisted that you being Bhaalspawn doesn't have to change anything do in fact think you are inherently more evil than the rest of the group is... a huge deal, actually! I mean, I guess you could say that it's because Bhaal is the group's direct enemy or Durge was his Chosen before this, but none of them mention that aspect of it at all so it's hard to say whether or not we're supposed to take it that way (and even if we are that opens up a whole other can of worms regarding Larian's failure to engage with how awful it must be for Durge to have to fight their father and old master, even though "it's really hard to face your abuser" is a central theme of most of the companions' quests).

But of course the lack of discussion means it's also possible that this is just Larian forgetting that their game is supposed to have moral nuance again. Maybe they've forgotten about all the chances they give Durge to be scared and desperate and only obeying Bhaal because they feel like they have no other choice and decided that the only reason why anyone's Durge would ever become Bhaal's Chosen is because they really like killing. In general they seem to regularly forget that Durge's relationship with Bhaal is also part of the cycle of abuse theme and treat their choices regarding him as a straightforward, binary moral choice. It's entirely possible that the companions' refusal to consider that maybe the choice between serving Bhaal and dying wasn't as simple for the person making it as it is for the heroes on the outside who don't actually play any part in it is actually just Larian forgetting that it's not that simple and the whole thing isn't supposed to say anything about the companions' views on Durge. But it's impossible to tell with how slapdash Larian's act 3 writing and especially Durge's writing is.

Also, I didn't know where else to put this, but Halsin calling Durge becoming a vessel of murder "unnatural" makes no sense. I mean... that's what they are. Even redemption Durge is called murder incarnate by the netherbrain (although only if you side with the Emperor). As a Bhaalspawn and more specifically a piece of Bhaal's own gore given life they very much are a vessel of murder and always have been. It's another moment where I don't know if we're supposed to see this as Halsin having Opinions on Bhaalspawn and their ties to their father or the writers not really thinking about what it actually means to be connected to a god of murder. The whole thing is just a real mess.

[dujour13]

BG3 Act 2 rambling OC thoughts (not spoiler free)

Saedra: tiefling – scholar - warlock

A penniless orphan raised by monks of Ilmater in Baldur’s Gate, Saedra nevertheless has ambitions. Until the tadpole incident she was bartending to put herself through wizard school and struggling more than financially, because although she’s deeply driven, she’s overworked and under supported and just not making it through the academics.

Which is why she jumped at the offer of a pact* from a powerful satyr. It didn’t stop her from continuing her studies, but it did send her in a new and promising direction.

*I have a vague headcanon discussion with Astarion about the nature of devil pacts vs fae pacts: something about legalese being inscrutable and esoteric in its own way, but a fae pact is more like a poem – you never quite know what it means and it could and should mean something different for everyone. Hence even more dangerous.

The satyr, on whom her Guardian is modeled**, for now doesn’t seem to have an agenda beyond encouraging her sexual explorations. She’s cheerful and open about being pan and promiscuous, which is what attracted the satyr’s attention in the first place. Flouting her cleavage at the bar, smoldering looks while polishing glasses, calling everybody “love.” She fully embraces her hot, naughty tieflinghood as part of that fun oversexed persona. (btw when she killed Minthara she totally stole her sexy outfit.)

**her Guardian:

She genuinely likes people and is fiercely loyal to “her gang.” Who counts as “her gang” is a wider circle than some might approve of—at the start of the story she’s outgoing and generous with all sorts of people, especially the refugee tieflings, but that tendency is gradually giving way.

As a warlock she has a nascent cynicism – distrust of the fey, devils and the like***, that is growing as the story leads her to darker and darker places. Of the companions she’s most fascinated by Astarion and Lae’zel, maybe because they have the lowest approval, but also because she loves how tits out they both are about being nasty. It’s a behavior she’s starting to try on for size. I can hear her imitating Lae’zel’s “t’ch” and laughingly calling people “dahling,” half teasing and half adopting a new aspect to her own persona.

***really doesn’t trust Raphael, definitely not letting the pixie out of the lamp

Still, naïve as he rightfully believes her to be, Astarion likes how she has his back and Lae’zel likes how she galvanizes the group and brings them together into a more efficient fighting machine.

Her thoughts on the companions so far:

She thinks Lae’zel is hilarious and hot af. Ironically sees her as naïve in her own way. Dtf but I think Saedra got friendzoned when she started sleeping with Astarion because it’s been all business since then. Snif.

She feels sisterly toward Shadowheart – protective but oddly not sexually attracted. Admires her light/dark-sidedness, her kindness and her cruelty.

Wyll is hot but so very caught up in his hero persona. She wants to fuck him into a gibbering mess. That said, she danced with him and immediately drew a line in the sand when she saw where it was headed, because he started getting more than just bedroom eyes. Saedra does not want some lovesick folk hero pining over her or worse, making sacrifices for her, much as she’s attracted to him.

Similar with Karlach ohhhhh myyyy goddddd but don’t get sappy on me or it’s over.

Halsin (in Act 2, nothing happening yet?) is just a big, nice man she could get lost in. Maybe a little too much of a dad for her particular tastes.

She openly admires Gale’s magical talent and they vibe over being generally decent and liking cats, but she’s a little worried she’s too much for him. He seems fragile. (Oh after I wrote this I found out some things and boy was she wrong. And right. Hm.)

Her desire for power draws her to both Gale and Astarion, but her sexual proclivities lean her more toward Astarion. At the moment he's a casual hook up but also the more she hears, the more invested in his story she becomes.

More on Astarion (I’m in Act 2 so these are early/maturing impressions):

Saedra is very wary of the tadpole as well as the Guardian. She already has a pact with an unpredictable patron who may not have her best interests at heart, so she resists the temptation to use the illithid power or consume the worms, or take Raphael’s or Ethel’s deals either. What’s most interesting about Astarion is she suspects his desire for power is luring him into slavery – a cautionary tale for her as a warlock as well as with the illithid parasites. Totally fine if Astarion wants to try the forbidden fruit. She’ll watch what happens to him. Except—she’s starting to care what happens to him…

And here’s my genius barmaid in a drinking contest which she did eventually win thanks to her determination and a little sleight of hand, but not without getting totally wasted

[tadpolejourney]

Day 29

We took the Blood of Lathander, and raided the creche. We left none alive.

Tonight Kith'rak Voss paid a visit to our camp. Not to kill us, but to aid is in freeing the being inside the Astral Prism. I think Voss knows who it really is, but he won't say. The note we found in the creche about him being a traitor to Vlaakith is true. He helped strengthen Lae'zel's disbelief in Vlaakith. He wants us to meet him in Baldur's Gate. We don't even know what waits for us in Moonrise. If we manage to survive any of it, including getting rid of the Absolute and our infection, I may just send Lae'zel and whoever else wants to go with my blessings and the artifact. I'd really rather not go back to that city.

Day 30

A whole month has gone by. I can scarcely believe it.

Mizora showed up in our camp tonight to say one of Zariel's assets is locked in Moonrise Towers, and Wyll has been tasked with getting them out. She threatened to cast Wyll into Avernus if he doesn't fulfill the promise, per their contract. I noticed something about her, though. She seemed way more desperate than commanding. She's willing to renegotiate Wyll's pact after we rescue Zariel's asset. Wyll might finally be free of Mizora's pact if we play this right.

Karlach was understandably upset about Mizora's request. She said something about how you never win when you play games with a devil. I opened up to both her and Wyll about Mephisto. I felt like out of everyone they would understand the best what happened to me. Karlach was genuinely shocked, but also really grateful I told her. Wyll was stunned to the point of silence. He'll need time to reflect on my words, I think. He definitely had no idea I *technically* have an archdevil on my side, if only for a single request. To be fair, the story is quite shocking. Archdevils rarely go out of their way to manipulate a mere child into a contract, let alone for a one-off contract as weird as mine. Mephisto has wanted my soul since I was a little girl, but even as a child I knew I shouldn't give my soul to a devil. He took my first love instead. I really did think I was being clever at the time, because I didn't think I'd ever be loved again, and I definitely didn't think romance was real. I paid dearly for that one.

Not long after, I ran into Astarion with his shirt off (!) trying to decipher an array of scarification on his back. His scars are written in Infernal. Neither of us can decipher it, and it's a secret between the two of us for now. Until we know what it means, or perhaps what Cazador means to do with it. It's not likely to be anything good, but I'll do whatever I can to protect him. Hopefully we can find a book or something. I’m certainly not keen to ask any of the Infernal-speaking beings we’ve come across thus far.

Soon we will make our way back to Grymforge and take the elevator leading to the shadow-cursed lands. I really wanted to give my companions a short break, so we're taking three days of respite in this beautiful place to prepare ourselves for what's to come.

<<< Days 27-28 | Index | Days 31-32 >>>

[blupoh]

like real people do

summary: atlas wonders if things would be the same between them if there was no such thing as the absolute.

pairing: wyll x oc

word count: 1.3k

warnings: n/a

cringe is dead and i'm free, under the cut is some wyll x atlas (my tav) fluff. it's dire in the wyll ravengard loving trenches

if anyone has any requests, hit my asks and i'll see if i can oblige :)

could not ask you where you came from I could not ask you, neither could you Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips We could just kiss like real people do

✦✦✦

They’re laying on their bedrolls together, curled into one another— as close as they can be, anyway. The horns complicated things. Atlas has their head on Wyll’s chest, listening to his heart. Their tail is curled around his ankle, his palm is pressed against their back underneath their sleep shirt, thumbing circles into their cool skin. Atlas can’t fall asleep. Wyll can feel it in every shift, every sigh, every sniffle. The only thing keeping Wyll awake is the prediction that eventually, they'll talk about what’s been plaguing them.

“Wyll?” they ask in a hushed whisper. 

There it is. 

“Yes, my love?” the nickname is second nature, truly. 

“Do you think if we were… real people … we’d still love one another?” they sound so genuinely concerned— but Wyll is confused. 

“…I don’t believe I follow. We are real people.” he lifts his head from his pillow to glance down at them, eyebrow raised. Their gaze is cast away, at the flaps of their tent. 

“I mean…” they let out a sharp sigh. “ Normal people. No tadpoles, no cults, no deals with demons— none of this. Still living in Baldur’s Gate. Do you think we’d still love each other?”

Ah. 

Wyll can’t say that he hasn’t thought about the same idea before. However, he never entertained it, casting it to the side as soon as it came. No point in thinking about the what ifs. All that matters is what he has now. And what he has now is good. 

“You know I don’t like to postulate.”  he sighs. “It’s far too easy to get lost in what could have been, and forget I am blessed with what I have right in front of me.” what he has in front of him shifts, resting their folded arms on his chest and tucking their cheek in the crook of their elbow.

“Humor me.” they plead, and Wyll is helpless to resist. His argument falls flat every time when they look at him like that. Never was good at saying no . He forgets that while his partner loves as deeply and intensely as anyone else, they’re never one to add the frills to their speech that he is so fond of. 

Wyll exhales deeply, resting his head back against his pillow and staring up at the roof of the tent. Atlas had pinned a map of the stars to it a tenday ago— his eyes follow each constellation as he thinks. 

“Right. If we were normal … well.” even the simple concept is hard to imagine . Normal . No cults gone mad with power, no Mizora, no alien abductions. He would be a very different man- still the good mannered son of Duke Ravengard, untainted by the scandal of working so closely with a fiend. Mingling with the nobles and dancing the night away at galas. “You worked at Sorcerous Sundries before you were abducted, correct?” he hums.His hand finds its way to Atlas’ hair, and he twirls a curl between his fingers as he tries to imagine the scene. “I had been there a few times before my exile. Bought a few scrolls, to see what magic felt like— maybe we would have met there.” 

Atlas snorts. 

“I would have never said anything. Not to someone like you. Especially not to the Duke’s Son.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks in a laugh, and feels them bristle under his touch. Their hand curls against his chest. 

“It’s just… You’re… you , and I’m… me , and— if— if we hadn’t been forced together, I never would have… gathered the courage. You’d seem too unattainable to me.” they mumble, focusing intently on messing with a string attached to his tunic. 

Wyll finds that hard to imagine. He can’t see Atlas as the person they described— a meek, cowardly employee to a cruel master— all he’s known is the strong willed, dragon-hearted leader of their ragtag group. They’re self assured and confident, everyone looks towards them when the time comes to make a decision. Even Astarion listens.

However, he’s still humoring them, so he pushes onward. 

“Well— I’d come in whenever I could, hoping to see you. When I caught you, I would have said something to catch your attention. Compliment your eyes, your smile, your freckles, your scales— then I might… ask you to dinner. Take you to the Elfsong… we could take a walk on the shores of Wyrm’s Rock, or a stroll through the park.” now that he’s imagining it, his chest is filled with an almost… bitter longing. Of the life they could have had. Of who they could have been. Two young fools in love, unawares of the costs of a love such as this. Instead of heart wrenching sacrifices and painful confessions, it would have been shy smiles and hushed “ I love you” s when no one was looking. Simpler. Easier. What they deserved. 

And then he looks down at them once more, and the bitterness fades, replaced with a blooming warmth. He doesn’t care about who they would have been if they were real people . Real people didn’t have a connection as intense as theirs. Didn’t have an understanding as deep as theirs. Didn’t have a love as strong as theirs. The circumstances surrounding them made their bond unbreakable. They’ve fought an entire camp of goblins, laid waste to a shadow curse decimating the realm, killed the unkillable servant of the god of death- there was nothing they couldn’t do, as long as they had each other.

“Would you still propose to me with an acorn?” they ask suddenly, and Wyll laughs louder than expected, tugging them closer. Atlas lets out a surprised laugh in turn, tucking their face into his chest. 

“Yes! Gods, yes. In every single life, I will propose to you with an acorn. And I will feel no regret or shame for it each time, no matter how often you bring it up.” he coos, gently shaking their shoulders with the arm wrapped around them. Their chuckle is musical. Powerful as a siren’s song, just as deadly— but wielded with far more benevolence and grace. Wyll falls for them all over again. 

“I can’t wear an acorn , Wyll. I appreciate the sentiment, I truly do, but- you can’t be mad at me for bringing it up. I want to show people.” they grin up at him, fangs peeking out from behind their lips. To a stranger, the tone would have come across as condescending— but Wyll and Atlas were much more than strangers. “If— if we were real people, you’d get me a ring.” Besides, Wyll is too filled with elation to worry about their tone. The idea that his partner was asking to show people how devoted they were to one another was enough to make his heart sing. 

“And when this is all over— when the Dead Three’s Chosen are dispatched, when the Absolute is vanquished, when the evil is cleansed and Baldur’s Gate is healed once more— I swear to you, I will buy you a ring.” he croons, tucking their hair behind their ear so he could see their face clearly. “And we can be real people.” 

The answer seems to sate their rampant thoughts— at least for now. They smile sweetly, glowing and serene like the moon. They lean in and press a kiss against his lips. His hand carefully weaves through their hair, and cradles the base of their skull to keep them close as he kisses them back. 

“I love you.” they confess into his mouth, soft as a prayer.

“And I love you more.” as if he had any choice in the matter. As if he wanted any choice.

“Don’t start.” they scold, pulling away to look at him with raised brows. He grins like a child caught with their hand in a cookie jar. 

“Of course not, my dear.” he kisses their forehead, pressing their head against his chest.

[ex-textura]

well a little later than i expected but NO MATTER hello friend tav info dump you say I'm so sorry for the novel this is about to become

I mean you do already know of Vic, half orc eldritch knight with a martyr complex the size of the city. Grew up in Baldur's Gate, genuinely a really nice childhood he's got two younger siblings and lovely parents and I'm not positive in what way he got his soldier background but the boy is always a soldier of some kind (maybe a Fist? it's hand wavy). He was a whopping 21 when he got scooped up by the nautaloid and decidedly does not want to be a main character but shit keeps happening and Vic is gonna die protecting his friends or Vic is never gonna die

He's always been real into magic but didn't think of himself of the Wizardy Type growing up, and then the local wizard took the time to teach him magic and there was a very good reason he had a very big crush on Gale. It was Gale who pushed him onto the eldritch knight track specifically and Vic might not get the finer points of all the theory and technical jargon but that's fine he has a genuinely very good teacher

and then y'know. Wyll happened. and godsdamnit Wyll you were supposed to be the Unattainable Paragon of Justice and way too good for me but then he was just a guy with a determination to protect people as strong as Vic's own and this way of talking that sounded like he was constantly half a step away from writing an epic and maybe there was a bit too much wine at the grove party that led to a lot more self-confidence than Vic ever has but that kinda. happened. (the psuedo-breakup with Gale after the fact was not fun for anyone involved but ??? was that actually anything Gale there had been absolutely no conversation about it, they do eventually get back to actual good friend and there's the moment of Gale telling him "For the sake of absolute transparency, I may have slept with Astarion" and Vic choking on his dinner but they're friends again)

Karlach is the bestie from the very start. In their first little heart-to-heart by the fire there did have to be the "hey, so you know I'm like. really gay, right?" conversation, but from that point on she is constantly giving him enthusiastic thumbs up over Wyll's shoulder and the teasing is relentless. She clocked his formal training the first time they fought together and the soldier nickname is Incredibly fitting, they fight very well together and are both very physical people which is unfortunate before Dammon manages to cool the engine down. (Wyll has a "secret" scoreboard in the back of one of his books of the number of times Vic has forgotten, punched Karlach's shoulder, and burned himself. An additional category was started for "bad enough that Shadowheart had to heal it") She fully died in Grymforge, like got knocked down and then pushed into lava, and he had to pay Withers to bring her back and that was. not a good day at all, when she was back and mostly focused again Vic just preemptively called Shadowheart over so he could give Karlach a (very very quick) actual hug

he just wanted the tadpole out So Bad, bad enough he ended up with a magical eye for the troubles. Vic never touched the tadpole powers, figuring if he couldn't manage with his own sword and magic it wasn't worth doing anyway. The boy is decidedly in favor of relying on your own abilities, having seen far too many cases of the gods or others granting powers get petty, use them as leverage, strip them away on a whim, etc. fuck the gods, tbh, very glad we stopped Gale from becoming one or making one even more powerful

had to break his little sister out of the Iron Throne along with his future father-in-law and the only mind flayer he respects, because his little brother is unfortunately a very talented artificer and the job at the foundry seemed so good at the time. another No Good Very Bad Day, they got out of that place by the skin of their teeth and Vic is decidedly afraid of deep water now

Freed Orpheus because fuck the emperor that's an entire race enslaved by this litch, and then it is only by the stubbornness of his friends chipping away at that martyr complex this whole time that he realized turning into a mind flayer himself might. not be the immediate best answer (but also no fucking way is Karlach going to do it either)

It was So Much he's just a baby boy, he never wanted to be the protagonist, but now he's gotta go maybe kill the archdevil of Avernus with his two favorite people in what is the weirdest fucking honeymoon ever (it doesn't count wyll insists constantly we are not married yet, he knows it doesn't count)

i'll stop now (with This One......) because god that was in fact a novel but [holds him up like simba] baby boy. baby.

VIC!!!! IT'S VIC!!! MY HALF-ORC LOVE ITS HIM!!! Ugh I'm not even gonna pretend to be normal about him I'm sorry.

He's so goddamn cute with Wyll they're so beautiful together. I want. To see more. Of them. And him. Bleese.

Oh my god I love his dynamic with Karlach. I can just picture them rolling around like siblings and being the absolute best bros. Just. The wholesome-est trio with them and Wyll honestly.

IN THE LAVA OF ALL THINGS?! God that's like. Painfully poetic in a way. I hate it but of all the things to kill Karlach. God. I'm so glad he had Withers. And that he could give her all the hugs and shoulder punches in the world once she got fixed.

HIS LITTLER SISTER WAS ON THE IRON THRONE?! Man, fuck you Gortash. Where is she now? Is she safe? Did they have a big heartfelt reunion? does she love Wyll?

How's he doing in Avernus?? Did he get to come up for the reunion?

WHEN ARE THEY GETTING MARRIED?!

[drhu0806]

8 – “Give me that, before anything happens.”

Fandom: Baldur’s Gate 3 (fanfiction) Characters: Astarion, Tav/custom player character Rating: G Warnings: none

“What have you done?”

Astarion is disgusted, scandalized, truly horrified. The mantle that hangs from Kainé’s shoulders is in tatters, shredded and mangled, a far cry from the elegant article it once was. He thumbs the end of it in his hand in disbelief.

“Did you end up in a fight with a murderous onion chopper? You look as though a wyvern tried to chew you up and just spit you back out.”

Kainé grimaces, sheepish. “There was… some trouble…”

“Clearly.”

Taking a step back, he takes the rest of her in, eyeing her critically. “And while we’re on the subject of clothes, my dear, can we talk for a moment about everything else you have going on?”

“Uh, what do you mean?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, darling, you’re gorgeous. But sometimes it helps to look the part a bit more, hm? It seems like every time I look at you, your shirt is some level of ill-fitting or torn, and for some reason you always have holes in your trousers. I know we’re in almost constant peril, but it really wouldn’t hurt to keep up appearances.”

She laughs, but it’s weak and forced, and Astarion senses that he’s misstepped somehow. “I suppose you’re right, I do look like a mess, don’t I?”

“Wait, Kainé, I’m not saying you’re a slob by any means—”

“Oh, I know, and you know I really would love to have clothes that I don’t ruin constantly, it’s just… I don’t really have that option.”

“What do you mean?”

She picks at a small tear in her shirt, one of many across a number of her casual clothes. Kainé doesn’t have many; while there’s been no shortage of abandoned, unused clothing in their travels, for some reason she gives away most of what they find to the rest of the party. Astarion himself is in possession of more clothes than he’s had in quite some time.

Kainé gives him a smile, forlorn and small. “I’m a tiefling, Astarion. It’s not exactly easy to find clothing that works for us.” She points to her horns. “You would not believe how hard it is to find a shirt that slips over my head easily.”

He suddenly remembers when Wyll was first turned into his devilish form, the hours of consulting with the tieflings in the party, the numerous times they’ve had to untangle his horns from his shirt. At the time he’d found it hilarious but...

“There’s also the matter of this lovely little thing…”

Turning to her side, her tail whips into prominence. “Tough to find pants that are comfortable enough to fit around these bad boys. Not a lot of tiefling tailors out there so… Growing up I never had a lot of clothes that fit me in general, and I never learned how to sew, so it would usually be really baggy shirts or trousers with holes just punched into them. Dresses were actually pretty nice, just not practical to wear often.” Kainé shrugs. “It was fine for a while; no point in having nice clothes I’ll just end up ruining from all the work I was doing.”

It isn’t the first time Astarion’s said something he shouldn’t, but it is the first time in a long while that he’s genuinely regretted it. No matter how hard she tries to shrug it off, he can hear the years of childhood shame behind her words. Little, seemingly inconsequential things he’s noticed during their time together come to mind: the slow, meticulous manner in which she puts her shirt on in the mornings, the times where she shifts uncomfortably in place, pulling at her trousers when she thinks no one can see.

He’s never denied that he’s been one to preen and pick at his own appearance; even his plainest clothes were carefully tailored to his tastes. But he’s always at least had good options to start with; what must have it been like, to not have that choice at all?

“Give me that, before anything happens,” he mutters, gesturing at her torn cloak. “And the rest of your free clothes as well. Gods forbid something rips in an unfortunate place at the worst time.”

“Wait, all of them? Why? It’s just my cloak—”

“Less questions, more clothes please! I don’t have all day!”

----------------------

Later, when Kainé returns to her tent, she finds her clothes returned, laid out individually. She’s about to curse Astarion out for leaving her a mess until she picks up the first shirt. She runs her fingers over it, feeling out curves that weren’t there before, outlining the trails of crisp, cleanly stitched embroidery. Without a second thought, she switches out her attire, and she’s immediately struck at how much easier it is to slip her head through the collar, the way the shirt actually conforms to her rather than sagging loosely at her sides.

She kicks off her pants and shimmies into a returned set, practically giddy that for once her tail doesn’t catch as she pulls up the waist. Not caring whether anyone sees, she hums to herself as she dances a little in place.

One last item remains: the mended cloak. The repaired article looks almost as good as new; Kainé marvels at how neat the needlework is, how the threads seamlessly blend into the existing pattern. Yet when she reaches the collar, she pauses as a new addition catches her eye.

A small white flower is sewn underneath the collar. She recognizes the shape all too well: a white moonflower, her favorite. Kainé wraps herself in the cloak as if it were a blanket, burying her face into the embroidered design.

“Oh, good, you’ve already tried them on.”

Astarion appears at the mouth of her tent. “I was hoping I could catch you to make sure everything fit, though I’m sure my skill is perfectly good enough to—Why are you looking at me like that?”

Without saying a word, she rises and embraces him. He’s caught off guard, his arms held out as he scrambles to figure out what’s going on. Eventually he comes back to himself, returning her embrace and holding her close.

“Well, I guess that means everything fits just fine.”

[kosmo-politan]

Hiiiii kosmo my mutual kosmo. I’m sitting in a waiting room and bored out of my mind so I’m sending you an ask because I need Enrichment. You should talk about your ocs Right Now please /lh

OHGHHSGSG. I JUST GOT THIS YOU ARE OPENING PANDORAS BOX I FEAR,. .. I DONOT KNOW IF YOU MEAN BG3 OR REGULAR OCS SO . BG3 ITIS

ASSORTED MELCHIOR THOUGHTS . THE PROFESSIONAL FAILBOYFRIEND...

two guys bringing their team down <3 from the beginning melchior felt the need to one up him because well. he didnt remember anything and was attached to what little skills he did remember and felt like if someone else was better that he was losing that too you know. would rather die than say that out loud though so he starts this petty thing with the only other rogue. to everyones dismay.

at first melchior tries to one up him and whatnot but when he genuinely fucks something up and astarion does it for him he has a jimmy neutron brain blast moment. i can get this sucker to do my job for me. and it all goes downhill from there <3

two guys trying to manipulate eeach other ! love really does lose....

astarion is. not very good at manipulating melchior. ill be honest. and that isnt in the like. Melchior Is Simply That Good and Smart way. unless you say something Directly To His Face his ass is NOT gonna get it!!!!!!!

all the flirting registers as Witty Banter to mel because. well if he was flirting he should just say that to me.

yes h e is autistic. because i heart projection yousee.

on an unrelated note he thinks hes sooo good at eyecontact because he just Stares At People. doesnt look away. bores into their retinas with his big hot pink eyes.

anyway when Thee whole Blood Drinking Event happens mel aint even mad. confused above all else if im fully honest. like if you wanted my blood you can,. just ask ? i can make more.

also makes a huge melodramatic deal about it . for funsies. ex: do u think its bad. is my blood bad. is it like gales*. do i have galeblood. NO. dont say it. i couldnt bear... anyway.

*he does like gale he just makes fun of his friends youknow. gale probably doesnt care for melchior. Stresses Him Out.

prior to The Confession Scene after moonrise melchiors attitude towards That Vampire is that i have feelings for you. not saying which ones. post you know the one

Finally Comes To Terms with how he feels about that stupid vampire at moonrise. gets So Mad during the araj thing. perhaps unreasonably so.

sososo afraid to confront how he feels because. Dark Urge youknow. he doesnt WANT to be like that but hes also far too afraid of what it means if he Frees Himself Of It yknow. like what if i still have these compulsions. whatif im still Like This. i have a very loose grasp on durge but wtver. if the shit i make up doesnt fit i shall simply reshape bg3 lore to fit /lh

got his top surgery done by orin during a girls night or something silly like that.

i have so many thoughts about that vampire that i shall spare you. neway heres melchiors thoughts on the others <3

thinks gale is kindof funny and has a weird desire to seem. Less Foolish around him because he thinks gale is one of The Smarter Ones. makes fun of him for being kindof a loser with those wack ass old man jammies.

also likes wyll ! deeply envious of him because he sees all the desire he has to be Good and Help Everyone and wishes he could be Like That

thinks halsin is.Large. doesnt like him because hes only 5'5

little miss warrior cats... calls her shart because he thinks itis funny. (melchior is like 40 bear in mind) kindof afraid to talk to her because hes an absolute goober of a guy and thinks shes Thee Smart One

KARLACH <33333 also kindof envious of her for similar reasons to wyll. wants to impress her so bad because he thinks shes So Cool... after meeting gortash his ass WILL NOT talk to her. Afraid To. lots going on there but in general he thinks shes so cool and wishes he could be like her.

lae'zel... Frightened By Her. thinks shes cool though ! wants 2 be her friend but. again hes a goober and WILL make a fool of himself.

astarion. melchior voice well hes just that guy. i saw him trip and bust his ass on a trap the other day... kindof a loser if u ask me.... embarrassin.....

weird feelings towards gort. on one hand he was mels only friend (from what he remembers) but. he doesnt want to be That Person anymore. he doesnt Want to accept the whole bhaal thing. he wants a shot at a normal life. also this dude fucking sucks my god. comically evil. melchior voice i can excuse bombs in teddy bears but you did WHAT to karlach !!!

i ghave so many thoughts on . gort. unfortunately. the whole thing hes got where he foils the main 6 and the themes of redemption and breaking the cycle is sogood i love a good foil. fascinating man i want to blow him up with grenades

REAGHHHH THANKYOU FOR ASKING ILL WRAP IT UP HERE BUT FEEL FREE 2 ASK MORE I LOVE TALKING...

ALSO. quick notes 4 aldente. ill spare you their lore here because Theres Years Worth of it. however if you are inch rested it is. a bit edgy there at the beginning ill be honesyt </3

1) i started this story ages ago as like. A Token Edgy middle schooler. and built So Much more worldbuilding upon it that i cannot change it now youknow. it may be cringe </3

2) may reflect the age at which i wrote it with how edgy some of it is. so like. theres murder in there .

3) i stole demons from the bible and so on and made them ocs. the demonology special interest goes crazy in here.

[eeldritchblast]

You’re one of the few bearable wprg fans on this site, so I’m curious to ask what are your opinions on the bg3 companions?

We only get to know them as who they are for Act 1 right now, meaning we can only hypothesize where their character journeys will go through the rest of the game, but at least as of Act 1 I love them all dearly and think they’re all amazingly well done characters!

Lae’zel is my favourite. She’s this battle-hardened warrior raised in a meritocratic society to serve her queen with undying devotion, just now experiencing the outside world for the first time. She’s so judging and principled and expects everything to go the way she expects it to, so when it doesn’t, she lashes out. She speaks of the challenges she’s faced before, but none of them are like the journey she’s on now, because this journey so unpredictable and unexplainable. I have a fairly strong feeling that she’s going to become disillusioned with githyanki society eventually, because she is now an outcast.

Astarion is my second favourite. If I really wanted to sum him up in one word, it would be bitch, LOL. He is a vampire spawn enslaved by a cruel and torturing master, now free for the first time in 200 years. But that history hasn’t erased his noble background, and if anything he’s more pompous than before, revelling in the freedom and powers the magically-tampered tadpole grants him. Behind that though, Astarion has signs of trauma/insecurity that he hides with flourished words and more haughtiness, and is resistant to getting emotionally close to anyone.

Shadowheart is difficult to talk about, because her whole character is that she’s such a mystery! She’s a Shar worshipper who was sent on a secret mission to retrieve a githyanki relic, and before that mission, she willingly gave up her memories to protect Shar’s secrets. She will get her memories back if she completes her mission. At least, that’s the story she and we know, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s far more to it. By nature of having no memories, Shadowheart doesn’t even know much about herself, and seems insecure about that—she’s very deflective if you try to poke at her about this. Well, she’s very deflective if you try to poke her about anything. Shadowheart is a master manipulator of conversations, and fully admits to it. Of all the characters, she has the most change from the start to finish of Act 1, assuming you gain her approval; you really feel like you gain a friendship with her, compared to the start of the game where she’s so on guard.

Wyll was tricked into a warlock pact, and while he revelled in his powers at first, now wants out of the deal. You get the sense that there are still details missing from that backstory, but I don’t expect we’ll get to hear them until the full game’s release. Wyll wants so badly for everyone to see him as a hero, and while I do think he is genuinely a good person who wants to do good things, I also think his desire for external validation is a big motivator for his heroism as well. He puts on a cocky and near perpetually happy front, but inside I think he feels a bit like a fraud due to the demonic source of his abilities. That, and he feels trapped in his deal, unable to be truly free. He’s willing to do some dark shit to find Mizora, including sacrificing his morals, and gets caught up in his revenge quest with a righteous fury about him. All that makes him much more complex a hero than what he’d like the world to think of him as.

Gale is literally the only jerk in this game who is willing to sit down and tell the PC his whole life story, LOL. The TL;DR version of that long story is, he was a prodigy wizard who drew the attention of the goddess Mystra herself, they had sex, he fell in love with her, when she moved on he tried to win her back by messing with dangerous netherese magic, that backfired and instead he was scorned by her, and now he has a netherese orb inside him that requires the absorption of magic, otherwise it will explode. So, Gale is looking for both a cure for the tadpole and a cure for his orb. That doesn’t stop him from wanting to go out of the way to help others on the journey, and while he has his morbid moments, he most of the time maintains what I think is a genuinely cheerful disposition. If I was forced to pick a least favourite character, it would be Gale, just because I find him to have the least amount of depth. But that’s not to say he’s a badly done character! Just not as much to my taste.

[the-apocryphal-one]

Next of Kin

Summary: A special kind of pain squeezes her heart. The soft question that emerges from her lips is only natural. “Do you have any family?”Astarion x Isaniel

Also available at AO3 and ff.net!

-

A/N: Merry Christmas to all your lovely readers!

-

She should have done this before now. She knows she should have.

But there just hadn’t been time, at first. In the earliest days after her infection, she’d been teetering on a tightwire of panic and desperation, hastily cobbling together plans to get this thing out. Even when they’d stopped to eat or make camp, the thought of writing a letter to her son had never entered her mind—much to her shame.

Then, as days passed and nothing seemed to happen, she’d grown complacent. Maybe their parasites were defective. Maybe the ceremorphosis had failed. Maybe they could walk away from this with nothing more than some trauma and psionic abilities.

Then the sickness came and slapped her in the face with the reminder that nothing about these parasites is normal, nothing can be taken for granted, and nothing is all her son will know of her fate if she’s not careful.

But how do you do it? How do you say goodbye to your only child across hundreds of miles with no body language or facial expressions?

For the past few nights, Isaniel has been trying and failing to figure that out. Each time, she has pulled out parchment, stared at it for an indeterminate amount of time, laboriously pushed out a few words, stared some more, then folded it back up and returned it to her pack.

Tonight, she vows as she sits near a large, flat rock that will substitute as a desk, she’s not getting up until this letter is done. She pulls it out of her jerkin, smooths it out, places it on the rock, and uses a few pebbles to hold the corners down.

Selakiir, it says.

If you’re reading this, I’m very likely dead or worse. We can never foresee our fates, but I have a reasonable certainty as to what my particular ‘or worse’ is. The details are included in an additional, enclosed letter. That had already been written, perversely coming easier than this one. You may ignore it if you wish. I would not hold it against you if you did.

That was as far as she’d gotten. Now, she dips the quill back in the inkpot, sucks in a breath, and pens, I hope that the person who delivers this will be able to give you a first-hand account of my fate, so they can

Soothe you? Selakiir is bafflingly, wonderfully outgoing…but he is also private in his grief. When his father died, he withdrew from adventuring, his friends, even her. He’s not the type to accept banal well-wishes, especially from strangers.

answer any questions you have.

Her quill stalls. She stares at the drying ink, trying to muster up something else to say.

When she writes letters, they always end up much like her: detached and logical. But this is supposed to be a goodbye letter. The last thing her son might have of her. It…it has to be right. She can’t leave him feeling like she saw this as some sort of duty. If there’s one thing she’s always wanted to make sure Selakiir knew, and was always afraid he didn’t, it was that she loved him.

Remember: my love for you is like the moon. There are nights when it doesn’t know how to show all its self, but it is always there.

No, that should be in the closing paragraph. It’d be more final, more poetic. A lovely note to leave things on. But she can’t make herself scratch it out. There’s this foolish, superstitious fear that Selakiir will find out and be hurt. Isaniel grimaces, struggling to wrestle small talk, emotion, something onto the paper so it’s more than this dry thing.

It’s almost funny that I ended up adventuring like you

We’ll meet again in Eilistraee’s

I’m sorry I won’t be there for your wedding. The present I was making is in

Don’t you dare try to avenge me. Stay far away from

Isaniel presses her head against the heel of one hand and bites down an uncharacteristic scream. The paper’s empty spaces and crossed-out lines mock her.

“If you stare at that any more intensely, it’ll burst into flames.”

“Iblith!” she curses, startling so fiercely she upends the inkpot. She’s still thinking in Undercommon, so her next few words come out in it before she catches herself and switches back to Overcommon. “Dos olist mzild taga—stop that.”

Astarion is bent double with laughter, guffawing so hard some of the others are glancing their way. There are actually tears in his eyes. “And miss out on the chance to see you jump like a wet cat? I could never.”

Gods, he can be so juvenile sometimes. Something dangerously close to affection laces that thought, banishing the bitter frustration of failure.

Ever since that day he recoiled from her hand, Astarion has haunted her thoughts more than she would like. She has sought him out more frequently, asking questions, trying to understand him, trying to sort out what she should feel. He is dark and dangerous and cruel—and yet there is something in him, raw, genuine pain that mirrors what she once knew, that she cannot turn away from.

So, Isaniel is not surprised that Astarion’s bouts of childishness have become something she can think on with almost-fondness. Empathy, revulsion, confusion, curiosity already spin together in a whirlpool; what’s one more emotion on the pile?

That doesn’t stop her from shooting him a dour look as she rights the inkpot, though. “I will remind you that I have a rapier and that someday, I’ll be so startled I’ll stab first and ask questions later.”

“Ha! Duly noted.” Astarion gingerly—because of course he’s still worrying about getting stains on his clothes—sits next to her. Unabashedly, he peers at her pathetic letter. “What are you writing?”

She lets him peek. There’s no way he knows Undercommon…and even if he does, he won’t break her cipher. “A letter to my son. In case I die or transform.”

“Your son? That is a very important letter. Who will you entrust with its delivery?”

“Whoever among us is still alive, I suppose.”

“My, don’t you have a low opinion of our abilities.”

It’s not quite that; more like she’s just not picky. But he’s clearly preparing to launch into some spiel, so she chooses to simply wait rather than argue the point.

He doesn’t make her wait long, gesturing dramatically with his hands as he speaks. “Not that you’re wrong. Without you keeping his thirst for revenge and delusions of grandeur in check, Wyll will run off and get himself killed. Lae’zel and Shadowheart will kill each other before the sun goes down. Gale—” He chuckles. “Well. Need I go on?”

Irritation nips at her. Eilistraee knows her companions’ colorful range of personalities have given Isaniel more than one headache, but she still feels protective of them. “Yes, actually—or am I supposed to believe you wouldn’t be leaping into situations fangs first?”

“Ah, but if there’s one thing you can trust me to do, it’s survive those situations. I can see that letter to your son, darling.”

She snorts at his transparency. “You just want to read it.”

He just shamelessly grins, unapologetic about being found out.

Isaniel toys with and discards the idea of chastising him. The matter is too small to make a fuss over, and his cat-like tread and nimble fingers mean he can very much lift the letter off her if he wants. Although…hm. Maybe she can twist this back around on him. She shrugs with feigned disinterest. “Well, it’s not like you could, anyway.”

Astarion inspects his nails. “Oh, I’m sure I can get a scroll of Comprehend Languages somewhere.”

“It’s not just in Undercommon. It’s encoded too.”

He’s visibly taken aback by that. It’s childish of her, but she can’t help thinking, That’s a point for me. Gods, it’s too fun to match wits with him. “You write to your son in code?”

“It was a game we played when he was little.” It had simultaneously been a way to teach him and soothe her paranoia. “We’ve kept it up since.”

In a calculated move, Astarion twists and leans in close. His voice drops, becomes husky. “You do know there’s nothing more tempting than something you can’t have, yes?” His eyes deliberately trace a path up her neck and settle on her mouth.

He’s trying to knock her off balance. Isaniel would rather walk barefoot on hot coals than let him know he has—though not, she suspects, for the reasons he intended. Let him stare at her mouth or neck, he’s a flirt and a vampire spawn. No, the feel of his breath tickling her skin, the way his hand is almost but not quite brushing hers, is more alarming. It’s too intimate. Distracting.

She hastily delivers the coup de grace before he can spot the rapid flutter of her pulse. “What better way to guarantee your delivery? Stubbornness or curiosity will make you hold onto it until you crack it. But you won’t, so you’ll have to bring it to Selakiir to find out what it says.”

A heartbeat. Two. Then Astarion laughs, throaty and deep, sits back, and shakes his head. “Well played, my dear.”

With fresh distance between them, Isaniel exhales in relief. She hastily tries to cover it up by pretending to shift in her seat, but there’s a certain twinkle in Astarion’s eyes that tells her she failed. She clears her throat, praying that her face doesn’t betray her fluster. “I’ll give it to you when I’m done.”

She expects that to be the end of it, for Astarion to fire a parting quip and wander off to tease someone else. But her surprise, he doesn’t. Instead, he props his chin in his hand and studies her.

That look in his eyes…is that actual curiosity?

Like paper thrown into fire, her own is fanned. She hasn’t bothered to ask how old he is, but she can make an educated guess. The Underdark’s abusive culture forces drow to mentally mature well before their twenties; surface elves like Astarion can afford to wait until their first century or so. Of course, magistrate isn’t the type of position you typically get straight out of adolescence, so there could be anywhere from a rough fifty years to another two hundred on top of that. For some reason, she doesn’t peg him as any more than three hundred, pre-turn. Post-turn adds another two centuries.

For humans, several hundred years encompasses several generations. But for an elf… His parents and siblings could still be alive. So could his possible children. Unless he, like her, had a half-human child. They would have died in the time he spent enslaved.

Selakiir’s warm brown eyes and smiling face flash across her mind. A special kind of pain squeezes her heart. The soft question that emerges from her lips is only natural. “Do you have any family?”

A shadow briefly flickers across his face; then, like a rat fleeing for its life, it is gone. He smiles brightly and waves a dismissive hand. “Oh, let’s not exhume the past. There’s nothing interesting about it.”

Isaniel furrows her brow, but before she can say anything, Astarion rises, brushes his trousers off, and struts away. As is all-too-common of late, her gaze lingers on him until he disappears inside his tent. She exhales slowly. If he departed with such alacrity, it’s probably for the best she didn’t get to push him. Eilistraee knows how well that went over last time, and she’d just been clumsily trying to comfort him.

She glances down at the letter. Inspiration strikes. Spontaneously, she pens in another sentence. If accompanying this letter is a pale, white-haired elf named Astarion, point him to the Dancing Haven.

It’s unusually risky of her. If Cazador really will stop at nothing to get Astarion back, she could be bringing a vampire lord down on her congregation. And Astarion just might be callous enough to repay them by selling them out or abandoning them. He does not deserve such risks, the old Isaniel insists.

But then, she wouldn’t be here now if an Eilistraeen hadn’t taken a risk for her over a century ago, when she hadn’t deserved it.

She adds, I don’t know if he’ll actually go there, but like me, he’s fled some sort of dark past. I hope that, in absence of my aid, he can at least find refuge.

Bantering with Astarion seems to have unlocked some wellspring of words from deep within her; the mention of her past gives her the subject. Speaking of which, you may have all my belongings, including the forge and the new house. The password to disarm the magical traps is the same as our old one—I hope you remember it? Your father was always fondly exasperated by my insistence on having them, but you loved to show them off to your friends. My memories of you two are the best in my life…

-

The next day, she hands Astarion several pages and a “thanks” that holds more meaning than he knows.

-

Drow isn’t officially a language in 5e, but it was in older editions. So even though Isaniel was technically speaking in Undercommon for a bit, I went ahead and borrowed words from their dictionary. Rough translation:

Iblith: shit

Dos olist mzild taga: You stealth (intended to be akin to sneak or skulk) more than— (“a drider” is what she would have finished with)

Also Overcommon is just Isaniel’s name for Common.

[pinacoladamatata]

i have some thoughts. long ramble about bg3 and comparisons to dai 

I’m not a huge fan of comparing BG3 to DAI as if DAI is some kind of ‘goal’, and there are plenty of games I like better than DAI, but on the other hand, it makes sense, as DAI is still quite popular and I absolutely compare certain aspects of BG3 to DAI, however... 

maybe I’m the odd one out here, but I truly feel like the writing for the companions in BG3 is better than DAI. I mean we’ve only seen act 1. So if I’m comparing BG3 early access - to DAI pre skyhold- honestly.... bg3 wins out on how interesting I find the npcs. 

In DAI, in Haven I honestly felt like ‘oh time to exhaust all the character's dialogue trees and see what they have to say because I don't want to miss huge story content’. But every DAI companion basically joined the inquisition because ‘they’re a good person/trying to do good for the world’, (even if they’re clearly fucking wrong *coughsolascough*)- 

-and the BG3 companions are all trying to save Themselves. Like, in so far as we know, the world in BG3 isn’t at stake of being destroyed. It’s a group of selfish people trying to save themselves (though they’ll probably uncover a much bigger plot that does endanger a larger part of the world but i digress). I genuinely enjoy when the companions get that little ! over their heads because I want to hear their thoughts. 

I like the writing better in BG3 so far. Maybe it’s because DA (both bioware and the fans) has left a bad taste in my mouth. Like I am dying to know more about Shadowheart’s past! What is Wyll going to do when we find Mizora?! I want so badly to see how Lae’zel reacts to arriving at the creche, or how Astarion will act if we encounter Cazador? What is Gale going to do if he has to confront his goddess?  

I had none of these thoughts when doing the DAI companions personal quests.... like... finding those goddamned artifacts for Solas. Now that I think about it, BG3 does not seem to have as many fetch quests. In fact I can’t really think of any, aside from Gale needing artifacts? Or the missing shipment? Where DAI is full of them. “go here. get me some weeds. come back.” “Inquisitor.... I’ve something for you...” “Inquisitor-”  

Now I do fully expect that the companions personal quests in BG3 will lead us to some ‘oh shit’ moments. I’d be lying if I said my hopes aren’t up a little after playing EA. The way side quests are handled where you are free to turn down everything that doesn’t interest you without locking yourself out of game content feels very freeing. Anyway, i like this game better than DAI already, even with the bugs in early access.