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#i think what i pay now is perfect
harryforvogue · 2 years
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feeling like myself again
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saintlioncourt · 1 month
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watched Logan (2017) for the first time after watching every single x-men/wolverine movie this week and lemme tell you-
I am NOT okay. what the FUCK
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skrunksthatwunk · 2 months
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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returntotheground · 3 days
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when will people stop paying for anything sims 4 like they just came out and basically said that since sims players are stupid enough to buy every shitty little expansion/game/stuff/whatever pack they're gonna just keep making those instead of sims 5
like. they're gonna keep beating this dead horse until it stops spitting out money!! stop putting money in the horse!
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this-doesnt-endd · 6 months
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I used to have a really giant family like tons of tias and tios and cousins and i say used to cause like it seems like after my grandparents died on both sides both families seemed to never speak again and i had no chance to even try and keep hold of those ties i was in elementary school watching my parents marriage crash and burn in real time dealing with major death in the family and then subsequent family abandoning me at the tender age of 11. Hell my brothers were older and jumped ship it was just me and the horrors
#my moms dad and my dads mom were like the heads of their families and they both died really close to each other#but my grandma and a tio on my moms side died within 3 days of each other after being in hospice literally 3 doors away from each other#for months and my parents both took the roles of like taking care of everything and being the descision makers cause no one else would#which im sure was super traumatizing in everyway possible but their siblings both seemed to resent them in ways#when they didnt want to be those people but had to be and they arent even the oldest siblings they are both like 3rd youngest#but like it just ruined the families and me and mom and my dad were all at the hospital or hospice center for months#we were there every day and night i remember it so much i can get anywhere in any hospital in my town using the stairwells#like i knew them that well#it also likely ruined my parents marriage which was bumpy before the intense major tragedy#which like yaknow what fair it was a lot to deal with ontop of like trying to crawl ur way out of the recession#but after all was said and done i talk to no one on my dads side i bearly talk to my older brother#and i talk to like my nina and two tias on my moms side and occassionally a few cousins#when theyre arent being fucking insane and unhinged#idk i loved having a huge family the like going to 5 houses on christmas type#going to birthdays or weddings and seeing everyone taking at least 45 mins to say bye to everyone#and now its gone and i wont ever get it back#and its by no fault of my own cause i was literally 11 and every adult decided i was gonna pay the price too#like i think abt when i get married its not gonna be what i thought itd be or when i get my first movie in theatres#im not gonna have the major family celebration ill have all my friends which im so greafull for#but its not the same yaknow#and id love to have that relatiomship with my family again but like where do u start when its been over 10+ years#like they remember 11 year old me if they remember me#and thats part of the problem#like on my moms side specifically i have some family who acts like theyve never met me before when i used to see them every weekend#and it was a major failing on my part as an 11 year old for not keeping in touch even tho we did my mom calls everyone and she tried#but people didnt want to return it#and as for my dads side its the same and if it was a moral failing for me as an 11 yr old to not reach out and they didnt like my mom much#my grandma fucking loved her but the rest of the family didnt and like i lived w my mom and was fucking 11 i couldnt go anhwhere by myself#and i didnt like not being places without a parent and i hated sleepovers i refused and they took it so personal#and they stopped talking to my dad and bad mouthed him and still do nd ill never allow that around me my dad isnt perfect but hes a good man
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#what does one do when their perception cannot b trusted? im so physically and emotionally exhausted#and i can go from feeling hopelessly terminally bad to completely normal for no apparent reason. and on occasion i can go from normal to i#think i can stay up all night. i never have to sleep again. look how great i can focus. i could kill god.#and i have no emotional object permanence so it feels so stupid when im normal. i cant sympathize with myself in altered states of mind#and it doesnt matter but it makes me crazy the idea that i might not b bip0lar but i just push myself so far that under pressure my mind#splits into the catastrophically positive or negative. but i feel like this is how i have to live. i have to b perfect or pay a blood debt#and thats just how it is. and thats how its been. so at this point ive spend thr last idk 15 years of my life being d#some measure of miserable for no reason. i dont kno y i do this to myself and im 26 now and idk how to stop bc even pushing myself as hard#as i can im so far behind. how am i supposed to do less and not#and not just quit. im compulsive for a reason. there's a fundamental barrier between myself and understanding language but if i do more and#more and more then i can at least try to keep up with everyone else. idk im so tired. and im 26 and im afraid im stuck like this#and i cant even... its like ive split my head in 2 to cope. ive created distance within myself so that i cant fully feel how terrible i make#things for myself. half my brain is always like lol suffer idiot. it throws off my therapists bc i cant take my own pain seriously. ill#laugh and smile while im like yea i feel horrible like most of the time and i dont kno what to do lol. idk so it goes. i think im gonna stop#with the birth control tho. as it doesnt seem to help with my sadness levels. idk if ite making ot worse or not. guess well find out#itll b easier once i dont have to b trained on things. then i wont have to ask a question and burst into tears on my lab mate 🙄#unrelated
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horce-divorce · 1 year
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So to be clear tumblr is the only social media i actually bother to use with any regularly, but sometimes you crave variety. For example sometimes going on reddit is a nice distraction, and my feed is all really interesting silly low-investment type posts that i can scroll thru and be entertained by without feeling like i have to engage. and other times it feels exactly like facebook. just suggested post after suggested post that makes me say "god you people are so fucking unbelievably stupid." posts seemingly hand picked to make me so enraged, the exact kind of shit I go online to AVOID.
currently it's recommending me a bunch of posts about "why does America have so much looting?" That have a bunch of responses like, "Because of the crime wave, no one prosecutes shoplifters, people have just noticed its so easy to get a group together on whatsapp, etc" and WHY? It thinks I would want or need these posts? Idfk??? I hang out in r/antiwork and like 3 other main subs about being homeless and random entertainment topics. I don't use reddit for politics or world events. I do NOT get my news from there.
Anyway there was also one recommended thread about "why do rural folk feel looked down upon by city folks?" And all the responses were, "yeah! It's them who are rude to the city people!" And when someone mentioned the lack of resources in rural areas, another person chimed in to say "well I lived in Detroit and now I live in a rural area and we have WAY more food and resources than Detroit does!" But the second anyone brings up, you know, the socioeconomic factors that influence that shit, everyone's like whining and crying bc their little brains can't handle ""bringing race into it."" someone had a different life experience than you?! Pft, sure, and then all the bystanders clapped! 🙄
idk it's like. the more time goes on, the wider economic gaps become, the more obvious it is how effectively people are brainwashed. It's not like the answers to these questions are hidden esoteric mysteries. It's not like people having different, individual experiences in life is new. Even my grandma understands that a) people aren't actually looting that much and b) even if they were, have you bought groceries in the past 3 years? if so, why are you even asking that question?? But you try to actually talk about how bad shits getting and these fuckers go into high gear defending The American Way Of Life and blaming individual choices. Ppl are drinking the Kool aid so hard and they think water is just supposed to fucking taste like that
#me#they put the kool aid in to cover up the taste of lead.#flint still doesnt have clean water. btw.#thats such a perfect example of what im talking about too#for YEARS its been common knowledge that we are poisoning and killing the people of flint (very near detroit fwiw. related topics)#and its like#idk i feel like i meet ppl who assume that bc Everyone Knows About Flint that means that it got fixed or smth#it fucking didnt#doesn't it feel kinda like. w wages and inflation. or covid. or anything else.#we declare oh yeah X is happening! its in the media. heres the numbers. everyones talking about it. finally out in the open. here we go#its in the news cycle for a few weeks and then bam. gone. nothing.#and everyone thinks oh its gone now. i guess its over#covid is still rampant and terrifying but its not on everyones minds anymore so no one wears masks. problem fucking solved am i right#everyone knows inflation is untenable. ceos make 400x workers. rent is all of your income. no one can afford food#we wont change wages tho. and everyone is just like. well if employers dont wanna pay more thats ok. just look harder for work.#just try harder. just work more jobs. just sell your blood in addition to your time body heart and soul.#its like people are hearing 'socioeconomic factors beyond our control influence how we live our lives' and they still go#'but why dont you wanna just buy more money?'#theyre HEARING words but they arent LISTENING#ONE person in that looting threads comments mentioned police brutality. one.#and they shockingly weren't getting downvoted into the negatives but they definitely werent being heard either#i feel like thats the most glaringly obvious one#like the entire world saw our police force going apeshit and they went 'woah are black ppl in america ok?'#and everyone said NO PLEASE HELP#and... nothing fucking changed!!!#everyone supported water protectors that 1 time. but the water protectors in the great lakes region still fighting?? crickets#i dont get it. i dont get it!!!!#in the news: heres 20 current events making life untenable for disenfranchised people#everyone: i dont get it? why are they breaking stuff
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decepti-geek · 1 year
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I’m sure people have lots of fun with the doomed by the narrative thing but whenever I see it I turn into the project runway guy
“doomed by the narrative” shut up it’s the fucking creator making creative decisions
#i wasn't as annoyed by this until i just now found out that it's like... a wholesale made up trope?#just from tumblr?#and i am a firm believer in descriptivisim and not just going by the tools/words that have already been created#but at the same tim i genuinely do not understand the... purpose of this one?#The Narrative is not like. an independently-acting force#i absolutely won't deny that it's its own THING but i think a thing can be a Thing#without posessing its own agency and ability to affect stuff#and i don't see how something that is entirely constructed by a person gains its own agency when ultimately#that still just comes from the person?#it feels a bit wizard of oz pay no attention to the man behind the curtain#the narrative didnt doom that character the author decided that they were gonna die#and yeah that's in service to the narrative but i dont like the... implication i see there#that the version of the narrative we get is somehow The narrative#and not just. one option#informed by the author's choices#no piece of media is technically perfect or some kind of manifestation of its ideal form like cmon#writing#i also want it noted that i looked the thing up at all because i was puzzling over it#and wanted to know what the original idea was behind it in case it turned out id been getting the grapevine version and missed something#i can't find where it started?#like i genuinely would like to know what the original intent was of the person who came up with it#but i can't find it#so im now just. skeptical of any use of it ngl because whilst it's still new i guess people can be meaning a whole lot of things by it#until some popular idea of what it means coalesces or whatever#but even then im still like#it feels like this weird abdication of agency for characters/author and attributing all the agency to something that ultimately HAS none?#so just kinda banishing it into the aether i guess
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yoohyeon · 1 year
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Gonna leave my CV to my maybe futur job later today
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steaksex · 2 years
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I NEED TO THINK ABOUT CODEPENDANT TOXIC GAY SEX WITH MY OCS RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
#nsft#ocs#sorry the sterling shower slimes made me think of it#i need it to be deceptively tender i need it to be fucked up. there doesnt even have to be sex for real just the vibes#i need sterling to lather fancy gels and creams into someones hair. his hands are perfectly smooth and his fingers are long and hes gentle#if you pay close attention theres a callous on the side of his middle finger where he holds his pencil but its barely there#and hes chatting idly even as his fingernails gently brush across your scalp and hes explaining what each thing does#talks about where he got it and what the price was and its all just a reminder that he has money thats all it is#(im obsessed w the themes of dora being able to get up and leave and escape when harry cant could you tell)#and again no actual sex happens sterling may not even get undresses but its disgustingly tender#and its made worse by the fact that it works. you have to live with that fact. your hair is so soft and perfect#you smell like a gentle spring day and its the same way sterling smells and hes proud of his work#like hes fixed you. if only for a moment.#but soon enough him and his fancy hair products are gone and now that you know that luxury the absence is apparent#sorry this is SOOOO nothing its not even gay sex.#but do you see my vision. the intimacy. the window into a kinder world.#someone who sucks but hes beautiful and its distressing and disgusting but undeniable#this is so nothing but gahagahagahagha im rotating these thoughts so much. sterlings been my little babygirl lately
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the-hawks-rye · 2 years
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i know it's been said a gazillion times and said more eloquently than me but god the amount of missed potential in the sequel trilogy. thinking about how anakin became a villain because he felt he had no other choice (and the tragedy being that he always had a choice, and his character arc concluding with him deciding to stand up for what's right by saving luke), meanwhile kylo grew up surrounded by a loving family full of positive role models and chose evil knowingly because he craved power for power's sake. kylo idolizing the tragic figure of darth vader all the while burning the world around him. there was so much you could do with that but instead they had to sacrifice rey's character to make the movies about her fixing the genocidal white boy who never wanted to be saved
#rereading tfa junior novel...#tfa wasn't perfect but it really did set up a lot of interesting stuff! that never got proper attention (if it did at all)!#mitch rambles#sw#sw negativity#and of course the nature vs nurture with kylo vs finn. why the hell did they never get a rematch after tfa. like that would have so good#having finn now on solid footing knowing that this (the fate of the galaxy) is worth fighting for and his now realized self#kicking kylo's pathetic ass into the next galaxy#also why tf did rey get force healing in tros when finn was ren's (characterized by destruction) narrative foil#like i know it's sidelining finn bc racism and making rey super special and powerful in lieu of actual characterization & bc they didn't#actually care about the story they were telling but y'know. 'why' best conveys my bafflement with the thematic flops situation#anyway back to kylo. u could have him tentatively going lightside-ish at the end of the final movie bc star wars redemption themes and all#but you'd have to have him very very very clearly giving up power (or accepting a forced loss of it) for it to work! like themes 101 people#like 'oh i did a bad thing by killing my dad :(' cool but are we gonna address the root cause of why you did that? (or your other crimes)#it's bc he was representative of how morals still had some power over you and u hated that because u need to be stronger than anything else#i don't think any of this ground-shaking breakthroughs like your room full of writers couldn't work out any of that. does nobody know what#a theme is? people were payed big money to make those movies??? (this is not about set/sound/costuming/etc you did great)#*sigh*#store wore posting
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dni.
#i don't know how people who do not have siblings live cause#whenever i feel the very intense and real urge to genuinely kms their faces pop up in my head#my sister laughing at my jokes after she had a bad day and saying with tears in her eyes that hey you know what i need you so much please#call me constantly when im abroad i don't know what I'd do without you#and my little brother not trusting my parents advice when he is sick because he thinks they're constantly telling him to do a hundred thing#anyway but listening to me when im giving the exact same advice asking me such innocent questions that seem so obvious#but he doesn't know because of his childlike innocence#like why are we not going to the doctor if i have fever how do our parents know how to cure it and how can i take dolo without a doctors#prescription and me laughing and explaining that it's okay it's normal it's paracetamol you don't have to worry you'll be okay in day or 2#or how he's excitedly telling me that these are the colleges i looked up are they good how do you know if they're good#he needs me so much even tho he'd never say it they've been even worse parents to him than to me he doesn't have anyone else#so then how could i be so selfish and hurt the two people who love and need me the most the two people on whom if i see tears#it feels like a stab directly to the heart?#but i can't help it. can't help fantasizing about dying#maybe myself but even better if by some terminal illness#i keep thinking me lying in a hospital bed and doctors saying there's a complicated procedure and it's very expensive and results aren't#even guaranteed so are you sure want to be treated#and me saying no please let me die my parents would protest at first they would feel it is their duty responsibility to keep me alive#but id say please i don't have anything to live for and i just CAN'T i can't do this i can't live this life it's too difficult im not#capable im already failing please just let me give up and then they'd agree#and then i would tell my father that im sorry i couldn't pay you back for all the money you spent on me my education my living expenses#but atleast now i won't ask for anymore money from you ever you'll probably get some money from the insurance policies#and i would tell my mom that sorry for being such a burden on you all these years but now you can finally be free with the 2 kids you#actually love and you never have to cook for me again or fold my clothes or feel bad that i won't attend your family functions#and i would tell my siblings that i know it's sad but please i know you guys are strong and bright and you're gonna be very happy and#successful and that's enough for me im sorry we couldn't have our dream raksha bandhan away from our parents but you can carry on without#me and ill always love you. and that would be it.#i know it's wrong to fantasize so much about dying and ive read somewhere that they may just seem like thoughts now but if left untreated#one day you're gonna have a bad day and you're gonna find the perfect opportunity and you were so sure you were never going to do it but#then you do. but i don't know how to stop
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melonpond · 2 months
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I think it should be absolutely mandatory that people work at least a month in a blue collar job and take time to learn about their coworkers before making a statement about blue collar work. I simply think it would fix so many things.
#melon rambles#my father (who makes over 100k a year in his comfy computer job where he can work from home and honestly doesn't even do that much technica#stuff and works less than 40 hours a week) talked about the horrible overtime requirements of the factory I work at#as 'well that's what you get. You just take that job for a bit until a better job comes around'#and it's like. This IS the 'better job' for most people I work with!#Like we live in a small town with maybe 30 companies total that anyone could work at#one of my friends has lived in this town for over a decade and almost exhausted his job options here#because there's only one company in this area that could use his degree but they said he doesn't have enough experience so they refuse to#hire him. Meanwhile he's got a family and bills to pay so he picks up a customer service job and guess what? It sucks#He's worked like at least 10 jobs here and about half of them have had such deep issues (horrible labor law violations. Incompetent manager#who yell at people and cut hours willy billy. Safety issues. You name it)#and now he's trying to find a 'better job' but all of the jobs he can get are bad. And the only good job refuses him for a stupid reason#and that's how it is for a lot of people! Some of my coworkers are 60-70 year olds who can't retire#they've been working blue collar jobs their entire lives and this factory was the most bearable one with good enough pay#it drives me crazy that my father thinks anyone can just somehow work their way up to a job they enjoy#when a lot of people just never get that perfect opportunity#and it also infuriates me how companies can decide to just screw over workers with something like mandated 50+ hour work weeks#and some people can't leave because it's the only job they can get that pays enough to feed their kids#and tangentially related point: blue collar workers are the absolute backbone of society#where would we be without janitors? Construction workers? Factory people? Anything customer service? Maintenence or repair people?#they literally run everything but get treated like absolute crap by companies or looked down upon#it just aaaaaaghhhhhhhggggghhhhhhh#I wish we lived in a world where manual labor jobs were just another career path you could choose of many#and they were deemed respectable honored jobs by everyone#and they were given good pay and good management and working conditions#because honestly from the jobs I've worked. I've actually enjoyed the job itself to some degree#but there were just so many bad management things that made me just dread going in every day.
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chucklechampion · 6 months
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ah heem heem......
#literally my boss called me into her office and was like 'if you have anything to say tell me now'#'if we start the investigation and find anything we have to fire you'#and i was like 'you know me. you know that i have never taken anything and never paid for it.'#ive taken stuff and paid for it later that day or the next day#but NEVER?? no#i love this stupid job why would i steal from it#and in her defense she did say that there was no bad blood and we were okay#but like that means that if she sees something weird its like 'nothing personal youre fired'#i literally know she WONT fiind anything weird. thats the point. i didnt do anything#but it makes me feel suspicious and that me saying i didnt do anything is an admission of uilt#guilt#aand the more upset and nervous i get the less believable i seem#which makes me MORE UPSET AND NERVOUS#and i told a coworker about it and they really were acting like i did it#like BITCH IVE KNOWN YOU FOR YEARS YOU THINK I DID IT???#have i stolen before?? did i used to steal all the time and just dont remember???#what if i took something once and was like 'yeah i'll pay for it later tonight' and forgot and now its gonna cost me my job#because heres the thing#that VERY WELL couldve happened#my adhd is a fucking bad i very well couldve done that#she picked the perfect time to accuse me of this to retaliate too#last month we lost a lot of money at our snack market#which indicates a lot of theft#and i live here so it'd be easy for me to do#that doesnt mean i did it tho#god this is so upsetting#and this is gonna be a no news is good news situation bc i dont imagine they'll call me in and be like#'we went over months of footage and you have been found NOT guilty! :D'#like no if they dont find anything they'll just never bring it up again#but like that means im gonna be waiting for the other shoe to drop for the rest of the time im working here
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nebucat · 6 months
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elise critics annoy the fuck out of me tbh
#vent#thinking about this today#'her character is too flat / one dimensional' no it isn't you're just not paying enough attention or considering WHY she is the way she is#'she's selfish she wanted to choose sonic over the world!' and so what if she is selfish? she's a princess of a royal family#who never had a real friend in her life and never got a chance to actually LIVE and be a girl until she met sonic!#and on TOP of that - she's already lost her mother and her father. she's tired of losing people that are important to her!#she's a flawed character who has moments of vulnerability and impulsivity because she never was allowed to HAVE emotions!#and it grinds my freakin' gears when people try to come along and 'fix' her character - as if there was anything that needed to be changed#in the first place#no there isn't! you're misunderstanding her!#having characters - especially female characters - be flawed in media is so important#because 9 times out of 10 they always fall victim to the 'perfect girl who gets it right and is so much better than the male lead at#everything trope and never does anything wrong or selfish or make mistakes' trope and i can't fucking stand it man#its why i didnt really like princess peach all that much in the super mario movie. now THERE'S a one dimensional character imo#anyway i love when fictional women are allowed to be broken and flawed and ugly and be selfish and make mistakes and learn and grow from#said mistakes#i will defend canon elise until the day i die i stg#she's just a human being who was thrusted into an unhappy life and never knew real joy until she got a chance to experience it#and didn't wanna let it go
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riverfigs · 8 months
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I've been talking about this with literally everyone I know because I'm incapable of deciding but I can't decide what I'm gonna do for study abroad ACK
#like#my school has an agreement with another one and the forms for that are due on the 5th#and I didn't plan on going because it's right where I live and why would I go home?#but things have actually been pretty good at home and with my family and I feel mentally stable enough to be in my hometown#but for a whole semester? potentially#although I was getting testy after just a month but I was surrounded by and only saw my family and if I study here I'd be on campus w/frien#however since freshmen year of high school I've been wanting to go to Korea and learn Korean and learn about Korean culture#and this would be the perfect time to do this because when else am I gonna be able to dedicate time to just go to Korea and learn Korean?#like when else will I 'have' the money or the time to do this? it would feel like a shot in the foot to not go now#and also I rearranged my schedule and even ended up overloading last semester to get into the singular Korean spot that opened last minute#and I was so excited and i would tell everyone that I was going#but I went home and started thinking about the college back home and it has a lot more I could do academically than at my own university#and so now both are pretty good options#and I kinda wanna vomit sorta kinda not really#I think I can fill out the form and then take a few more months to think about it because I don't have to pay the deposit until end of june#but I'm also worried about what if I sign it and then am unable to back out and then I regret it and then I have to spend a whole semester#at this university back home in my hometown close to everyone and everything#and again it'd be good acadmically but I'm really terrified about if I'll regret not going to Korea#usually I'll make a decision and then think through if I regret it or not so hopefully something similar will happen here#but I'm also prone to regret even when I stand on my decisions so I'm unsure how to really tell what I'm thinking#I've been making lists and all of what I wrote here is on there plus some more#you guys I can't do this :(
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