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mapoeggplant · 2 months

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skip to loafer chapter 60 analysis and brief character study on shima // spoilers

a light and fun chapter that hides something between the lines: how frankenstein's loneliness and revolt becomes a mirror for shima's feelings

(since the translation is very fresh, very very close to the release of the chapter, i will try to use the raws more. this is a way to make you curious to read the translation and also to support sensei in a way! hope you guys understand)

it's actually funny how much i'm surprised by every skip to loafer chapter. of course, some things i feel were expected to happen, but others appear suddenly and drive me completely crazy — that's the gift of takamatsu, who’s able to have fun with her own characters to the point of unfolding a delicate writing, that's much deeper than it appears to be.

i think it's cute and fun how shima's jealousy starts to be used as a comic relief in the story. it's something very innocent, which doesn't harm either party, but rather makes something new bubble up inside him, a feeling he wasn't familiar with before. he knows how it hurts to see mitsumi with other people and how he wants to be close to her, but he still doesn't have the necessary repertoire to express exactly what he feels.

and then, to add an additional element to the plot, sensei chooses frankenstein as the play for the school festival, shima's second great performance. she chooses a story of loneliness and desire, of a monster made of scraps of other people who tirelessly seeks his space in the world while being denied by his own creator — doesn't that sound a little familiar to you?

shima is, whether we like it or not, a fragment of other people's expectations. he is everything his mother wanted him to be, but also his broken expectations. he’s also made up of all the desires he represses and the times he was used by people as an object to be displayed. shima is a monster made of other people's expectations who seeks in other people's warmth a way to find a cure for his own loneliness.

and this ends up being even more explicit when he shows that he is truly happy and fulfilled when acting in the play. for the first time, he's not doing this for his mother or any adult's validation: he's doing it in the name of himself, his wants and his own way. he is slowly making peace with acting and his complex feelings surrounding it.

but, like it or not, shima still hasn't gotten rid of all his traumas, and this becomes slightly clear when sensei chooses to make a game with the lines of two different characters: shima and his internal monologue versus ujiie, a person who has slowly been causing him some complex feelings.

"i thought to myself it would be nice if i could perform this role better than anyone else" followed by "isn't that the bare minimum?". it's as if ujiie, unintentionally and through no fault of his own, was embodying a mixture of shima's personal ghosts and all the expectations that were thrown at him throughout his life.

isn't that the bare minimum? you've lived your whole life playing the role of someone who wasn't you, of a puppet. so...isn't that the least you could do? facing the scientist who created the monster, wouldn't that be a way of being able to face everything that was built in its place?

i think it's beautiful the way that sensei plays between shima's old feelings and these new ones that he's been discovering little by little. yes, he is finding happiness in acting again, finding his space in the world, but he is also developing a new feeling that he has never felt for anyone before. seeing mitsumi surrounded by so many other people gives him a somewhat irritating itch, which he himself doesn't know how to resolve — after all, he's a teenager, no teenager really knows how to resolve such complex feelings.

this makes him expose his neediness. seeing mitsumi, the girl he likes so much, surrounded by people who aren't him, makes him act like a needy teenager who doesn't know how to ask for attention.

different from what the girls thought at first, i don't think shima tried, in any way, to manipulate mitsumi. i really agree with yasaka on this part and i'll add even more: i believe that even he doesn't really know what he's doing. not even he knows exactly how he feels about mitsumi. but what he feels, at the moment, is an enormous desire to be with her and have her all to himself. he just needs to find a way to express his feelings in a clearer and more rational way (but i think that will take a while). It’s almost like the monster on his journey to find his beloved.

now about the other parts of the chapter: seeing the girls come together to discuss something that mitsumi was so afraid to tell before makes my heart fill with joy. seeing a group of girls so unique, so concerned about each other and so comfortable opening their hearts to each other makes me happy in a surreal way. i love, love, love the way in which sensei develops their friendship and how she always, always tries to show how much the girls are willing to help mitsumi even without knowing exactly how.

reading "yeah, none of us have that much experience with dating" is so cute to me. they are teenagers, they are also, for the first time, facing a wave of new feelings, new challenges — and the great luck is that they have each other to support and seek help.

i'm also very happy how yazaka is, little by little, gaining new friends and opening up more. i confess that in the past i didn't know exactly how to interpret her character, but now i want her to get more and more involved with girls. she deserves to have a group of friends who count on her to express doubts and seek help, just as she also needs that same support system.

well, as the girls said "all we can do is watch over them" and that's exactly all we can do too. i believe that this journey of self-discovery, for both shima and mitsumi, still has a long way to go and i think this is extremely special. this just shows how much they both love each other as people and are willing to try to meet each other halfway so that all their feelings are equalized.

once again, we have an amazing chapter in our hands. sensei keeps getting better and better, surprising us every damn time. i'm just so happy to be able to read such beautiful story and lucky to experience all of this. we're so damn lucky. remember: please support sensei if you can, by buying the chapters (via comic days or the online version of the magazine or the volumes). thank you SO MUCH for reading!! will love to discuss more with you all 💛

#skip to loafer #skip and loafer #skip to loafer chapter 60 #skip to loafer spoiler #skip and loafer spoilers #stl spoilers #A SHIMA CHAPTER IS A ME CHAPTER #I COULD ANALYZE THE SHIT OUT OF HIM FOR DAYS #MY BABY MY SON #I LOVE HIM SM #AND I LOVE FEMALE FRIENDSHIP SO MUCH #TAKAMATSU THE GENIUS YOU ARE #duckmetas

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purplecritter · 1 year

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theories/thoughts/analysis about touchstarved after playing the demo a few times

Under the cut because it got long (I exceeded the post character limit...) Also spoilers btw. PS: All the links are to posts on the official social media accounts or their kickstarter, with the exception of the animated trailer screenshots that I got from here.

(Happy one month since demo dropped!)

Mhin

I'm starting with them because I play favorites.

Mhin's silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights the crying eye (guilt? pain? blood? Their pupils almost seem to glow red, I wonder if it's connected) and the beak (in a way that reminds me of the skull of a bird rather than a live one).

The red choice connected to them is about asking if they're a scientist: their precision is almost surgical, though when asked if they've studied anatomy or medicine their reply is ��Not quite” so it must be something similar enough.

When Vere complains about their first encounter with Mhin, he mentions that their dagger (visible in their in-game art) is an antique. Perhaps they inherited it, maybe from a mentor? It’s a curious choice of weapon for a hunter: stilettos (it’s described as such in the demo) aren’t ineffective in battle (especially if wielded by a physically strong fighter, which they absolutely are), but they are favored by assassins because they’re easy to conceal, they strike precisely and deeply but without letting much blood leak from the needle-thin wound.

As far as design goes, the clasps on their hood looks like a mix between the quaternary celtic knot and the triquetra / trinity knot. Symbolically, the latter is associated to the Triple Goddess (more on this in Leander’s section) or three elements, while the former represents the four elements or the four seasons or the four cardinal directions, and is often used as a symbol of protection.

Their fatal flaw is that they “resist change at all costs”. I'm led to believe that they became a Monster instead of being born one. I think it either happened not that long ago or they lost control over it recently, and that's what spurred them on their search for a cure. Them being described as “outcast” also makes me think that they could have been exiled from wherever they came from, perhaps because the people found out that “a monster hides within their frame”.

When questioning them about Ais, they say “I'm not going to risk my life in the hopes that any of them is different” which shows that they’re distancing themself from their situation (i.e., being/becoming a Monster).

Their hate towards Monsters could be either a projection of the hate they feel towards themself (if they were aware that there was a Monster inside of them before they lost control and hurt someone, for example) or just because one took over them and by extension they hate every Monster because of it. If the “lost control and hurt someone” thing is true I'll also add that they might be working as a Hunter as a way to try and atone. It could also be a way to expel the more violent instincts (I’m assuming they have some) into something productive.

The “they're afraid of being hurt. Or worse” on their relationship chart with Kuras feels to me like they're afraid of hurting him, also because when you ask them how they get along with him during the demo, they say “Few people are willing to help others; fewer when there's any risk involved” and I'm choosing to interpret that they think of themself as the risk. I know I'm really pushing it on this aspect but the “If you stay too close to me, you'll get hurt”+“Find someone safer to ask for help” only fuels me more. Their monstrous form also looks less defined and more liquid compared to the others, maybe because it's not as developed so it doesn't look as solid?

Vere is also said to be often provoking Mhin in order to make them lose control: he's confident in himself enough to think that he'd have the upper hand in a fight with Monster!Mhin, probably because they're a skilled hunter but they don't have that much experience over their monstrous side. Mhin dislikes Vere because he’s “the embodiment of everything [they] hate about Monsters”: while Mhin holds back from their nature and seeks a cure, Vere wants to give in to his instincts without restraints.

In the demo, they get defensive when questioned about the Senobium, but when they say “Whatever you're looking for, the cost may be higher than what you're willing to pay” I think they're speaking from experience.

It's interesting that it's implied that they slept with Leander once. Judging by the comment about the Wet Wick being the “perfect combination for making mistakes”, they're not enthusiastic about it. I’m guessing that they don't like that Leander has seen them with their guard down? Or they

Unless I missed something, it's unknown where in Eridia they're staying. I'll say it's probably in a different direction from the Wet Wick since they make a point of saying that they're only going there to protect Kuras (instead of, for example, “I live nearby anyways so I'll take the same road”).

The flowers in their pin design look similar to cornus kousa, or some other type of dogwood, symbolizing hope, resilience, renewal (I also found: rebirth, new life, strength, regret). After a long and grueling winter, Eridia greets the first dogwood blossoms with relief. These flowers are known to cling tenaciously to life even in the worst conditions, from barren wastelands to ruins perpetually shrouded in Fogfall… Really poetic meaning! I imagine Mhin as the dogwood flower, persisting even after the Tragic Backstory that made them lonely (“barren wastelands”) and their Monster Form (“shrouded in fogfall”)

Leander

Leander's silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights only his eyes (they share the color of his magic -> maybe it's how he uses magic that contributes to him being “monstrous”?).

Nothing to note about his red choice except that it is unlocked by generally following his lead (taking the flower when he offers it, touching him without hesitation).

Speaking of his magic, an Alchemist MC notes that it extraordinarily powerful, enough that he doesn't need incantations or spell circles to cast it. Kuras mentioned that Leander prefers the company of those similar to him and that the Bloodhounds are mostly people who've endured the hardships of Lowtown, so I can't help but wonder if Leander was always a natural at magic, or if he did receive training but was later cast out, or maybe he left by choice?

A recurrent symbol in Leander's design is the triangle, as a detail mostly (on his coat, boots, dangling from his belt), but there's also one that looks like the alchemical symbol for earth (🜃) attached to the brooch on his chest; another symbol for earth is, you guessed it, the serpent, whose other meaning is duplicitous nature as well as renewal and rebirth. This connects to the ouroboros (present in his earring as well as in the background of the sticker and charm kickstarter rewards), symbolizing the cycle of death and rebirth and with relevance in alchemy as the “all in one”. The same theme is also present in the symbol of the triple moon (on his belt) symbolizing the stages of birth life and death and more in general three aspects united in one; the white lilies symbolizing renewal, regrowth, rebirth. The green feels fitting too, since it's often used to symbolize health and abundance.

Alongside the little triangle shape, attached to his belt there are a key (which is not the room key he gave MC), the head of which reminds me of two snakes knotted together; there's also a... I have no clue what that glowing red globe-spike is actually. It's the only other red item (along with the gem on the earring sword hilt) on Leander, but in some of the concept art it was green instead, so I think it's at least somewhat connected to his magic or the source of it. The shape of it combined with the red glow reminds me of Eridia’s towers’ architecture but that’s probably a stretch. I also feel like the symbol on the central part of the triple moon belt buckle is relevant: it immediately reminded me of a spell circle, and after doing some digging in sacred geometry, I’ve found that its 6 petal-like shapes (lilies also have 6 petals...) look similar to the hexafoil, “germ of life”, or the central part of the “seed of life”, which is connected to the divine creation of the world in 7 days/phases; a series of interconnected hexafoils make the “flower of life”, the meaning of which is creation (both in general and of the universe itself), and that everything’s interconnected to everything else... I couldn’t help but think of the “As above, so below” tagline in the Bloodhounds' poster; the sentence has so many interpretations in alchemy/esotericism but the gist of it is, “things in the higher realms of existence are just like in the lower/earthly plane” and “what happens in a large scale also happens in a small scale” and “common material things can make pure spiritual things”.

Overall, I'm thinking that all the green-glowing details on his outfit might be arcane foci, to help him cast magic without using incantations. As of right now, I’m willing to bet that Leander's connected to the Allmother (the traveler in the cart prayed to her) and/or the Abbess (the leader of the Senobium, I think): many of the aforementioned symbols also have ties to femininity and/or feminine qualities.

Other big things in his design are the eyebags and scar that goes from the cheek to the arm. I don’t have much to say on those, probably the scar is going to be connected to some important backstory event and the eyebags are a clue to suggest that there’s something troubling behind the bright and positive persona that he presents as.

If we want to take the name literally (I do), we could assume that Leander and his Bloodhounds are not simply a group of mercenaries, but mercenaries with a cause. Hounds are a breed specifically intended to track something specific (or someone specific) by scent. Given the animosity shown by them at the mere mention of the Senobium, it could have something to do with that, but perhaps it's also something more personal to Leander.

Let's get to the biggest red flag of the green-themed man: “Fatal flaw: [REDACTED]” and “Not all Monsters are inhuman”. There's also the fact that Vere doesn't trust his behaviour (I'll get to it in his section but I would generally trust Vere's words to be truthful). It’s also worth noting that in the first scene he makes an appearance in, he’s presented almost as a performer, a subtle-not-so-subtle hint that he can work his audience really skillfully. Overall, he seems too good to be true, and to quote Leander himself in the demo, “Things that seem too good to be true are often just that.” I don't think he's malevolent per se, but I also believe he's a very good liar (or at least, good at keeping his cards close to his pillowy bosom chest) and he can be a lot more ruthless than he lets on.

I already said it in Mhin's section but it's implied that the two of them slept together once, and I can't help but wonder if Leander also tried the whole "let me touch you so I can see what curses you but also you can tie me down if you want wink wink" tactic with them.

I get the feeling that he also slept with Ais? “He sure likes it when others take control”+“He's not so bad once you get to know him”. The bartender didn't joke about the room being used often huh (i’m saying this lighthearted and teasingly, nothing against it lol).

He's obviously staying at the Wet Wick with the rest of the Bloodhounds, and it happens often enough that the bartender/owner is familiar with their habits. I wonder if he also as a house of his own or not.

The flowers (in-game art, animated trailer, pin design, charm and sticker design) are white lilies, symbolizing devotion, sympathy and faith (I also found: renewal/rebirth/reregrowth and purity. Nothing says “I love you” as clearly as white lilies—ironic, since they’re some of the region’s most poisonous flowers. Some mages believe that these lilies contain a mysterious magic, but attempts to harness this power have only resulted in lethal poisonings. A not-so-veiled warning to be careful of what lies behind Leander’s charming facade... And considering that he seems to like when MC defers to him, I could imagine the (metaphorical... unless?) lethal poisoning in a possible bad end!

Kuras

Kuras' silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights the several eyes (truth and secrets being very important themes in his route, he's also described as “observer”) and his tears (his guilt).

No red choice for Kuras, but there is various flavour text depending on choices. First and most notably, the Unnamed MC notes that something about him feels familiar: this could simply be a hint about him being divine in nature, or it might mean something more, I'm still uncertain. Moreover, depending on dialogue, one of his scenes towards the end of the demo plays out slightly differently, and it shows the more playful side of him (which I absolutely didn’t expect, but I enjoyed that).

As far as appearance goes, his human form and his divine form have many similarities: this post does a very good job of showing them, but additionally I'll say that his halo (silhouette, charm and sticker design) reminds me of the shape of his earrings.

There are a few lines that imply that being in Kuras' vicinity feels physically warmer. It could be just a standard “MC likes him so being near makes them feel all warm and fuzzy” but I think it's more to do with his angelic nature having a comforting effect on people. Something that could be connected to that is the theme of fire (“eldritch flames”, also visible in the charm and sticker design), which symbolically is the element that purifies souls and reveals the truth.

His clinic seems very neat, for someone who works with numerous patients for the whole day. Moreover, his clothes stay unnaturally devoid of any sign of dirt. His appearance is also very curated, so I think that part of it is him being thorough about cleaning and part of it might be a consequence of his magic. Additionally, during the 16/04/23 Q&A stream with the devs (timestamp: 49:32), they (jokingly) said that Kuras doesn’t even put his hair up while performing surgeries, which to me also means that he doesn’t need to do it because he’s supernaturally clean and hygienic.

There's no clear mention of him having magic in the first place, but I don't think he could've completely reattached MC's arm so flawlessly any other way.

I wouldn't think much of it if it were any other character but Kuras' birthday being January 1st makes me think that he picked the date on purpose... or randomly, considering it doesn’t seem to be important to him.

During the 16/04/23 Q&A stream with the devs (timestamp: 41:24), it was noted that Kuras’ name was deliberately chosen, I think implying that it probably has a meaning behind it, though I can’t say what as of now (my search only revealed that kurash is a type of wrestling in Central Asia, and that there’s a deity called Kura in a region of Syria).

I think it's a known fact in Eridia that Kuras is not simply human (“Only the most desperate or the foolish would dare lay a hand on me”), so it's interesting that he chose to not disclose that to the MC. Granted, they've interacted for less than a day now and information is the currency. I also wonder if he’s always been a doctor or if he chose to become one at a certain point... I guess it would depend: is he “repentant” for something he did before settling in Eridia, or after?

Ais also thinks that Kuras used to be more outgoing but the reason he doesn’t really open up a lot to people anymore is because he “must’ve been burned”, which is an interesting insight. I lean more towards thinking that he’s been burned after becoming a resident in Eridia.

There's nothing that strikes me as peculiar regarding his relationships with the other characters,with two exceptions. Kuras' self-inflicted exile is centuries old, and combined with the fact that he (occasionally and begrudgingly?) works with the Senobium, it might be plenty of reason for Vere to hate him. I think that Kuras might've witnessed how he came to be captured (or actively took part in it), and that event is what feeds his mistrust towards Vere. Secondly, it’s said that he “looks forward to Ais helping around his clinic”: does Ais use the Seaspring’s healing powers on some patients (“I help him in the clinic sometimes”)? I wonder if the smokey scent when the MC wakes in Kuras’ clinic was because he’d been there recently.

He lives in one of the more populated areas, probably because 1) more easy for patients to reach him and 2) he likes meeting people.

The flowers in his pin design look like magnolias, symbolizing longevity, grace, divinity (I also found: eternity, perseverance, purity). The elegant magnolia’s therapeutic properties are vital in such a dangerous world. The Senobium cultivates a small magnolia grove, though few make it past the imposing gates to enjoy the rejuvenating blossoms… Of course the medicinal aspect reflects Kuras well. And there’s the connection to him being employed in some form by the Senobium too, the gates could definitely be a metaphor for how he keeps the true extent of his powers at bay

Ais

Ais' silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights his tattoo (Ocudeus' tentacles) and his eyes (the Groupmind's effect).

If MC’s been talking defiantly to him throughout the demo, the red choice connected to Ais also consists of rebelling to him, which he clearly enjoys (he’s said to dislike easy fights, so that’s probably it).

An Unnamed MC will note that Ocudeus’s presence/calling in the Seaspring feels familiar, and that his tattoo feels unnatural and it seems to move when they’re not looking... I’ll say that the tattoo isn’t a regular one, and might be the physical manifestation of the metaphorical mark that the bond with Ocudeus left on Ais. This also explains why in the silhouette of his monstrous form the tentacle tattoo is extended beyond what it normally looks like (it reaches his face, and over half of his chest).

The very prominent eye theme (charm and sticker design, Ocudeus possibly meaning “eye god” if it’s latin) and feeling of being watched (+“Got eyes in the back of my head”), plus the fact that the red-eyed woman knew what MC was seeking as well as their name, makes me believe that Ocudeus' area of influence is very extensive. As a consequence of the Groupmind, it's likely that apart from sharing thoughts (and identity?) those connected also share what they see to Ocudeus/Ais.

The notes left on the pillars are interesting. The topmost and middle one I feel are more useful to the player and serve as casual worldbuilding, but the bottommost one is the most curious imo: decoding the scrawling results in “never wish on a shooting star he's always listening”. Initially I thought that the “he” referred to Ocudeus, but it doesn't feel correct (Ocudeus always watches, it doesn't listen).

During the 16/04/23 Q&A stream with the devs (timestamp: 36:32), Ais was said to be the first character that they created, and the rest of the cast was built around him for cohesiveness. This is interesting to me, as from the demo I thought that “central” role would fit Leander more.

Speaking of Leander, both of them have a like/dislike relationship with each other (Leander because “the assassination attempts are funny, until they’re not” and Ais because he “won’t hesitate to put Leander in his place when the time comes”). Leander seems to be uncomfortable about the effects that the Seaspring has on people, while Ais talks about “a time where Leander's resolve will be tested, same for anyone in this plane or the next”... I wonder how soon that time is going to be 👀. I already noted this in Leander’s section but I think they also slept together at one point or another.

Same topic, different character: Vere. It’s cute that they’re so fond of each other [1, 2], and I’m very curious to know how they met. They probably bonded because of compatible personalities, but I also think that they like each other because they’re both dangerous, and being with someone who is also as dangerous feels... Fitting, safe, maybe?

The fact that he's “not as in control of his powers as he thought” is also interesting to me, since his nonchalance doesn't seem to be because he's lazy but because he's extremely confident. Perhaps he got too sure of himself and lost sight of the risks?

Ais is described as “renegade”, which by definition is someone who betrays a principle/alliance. I have no doubt that this is connected to the reason why he's a “gang leader without the gang members”, and probably to how he came to bond with Ocudeus. Because he's also said to dislike isolation, I lean more towards saying that he didn't willingly let his (former?) members go, my theory is either they left on their own (perhaps they were scared of Ocudeus, or they didn't approve of it) or he accidentally disposed of them (either because he wasn't in control of Ocudeus / the Soulless, or because Ocudeus felt hungry and they were conveniently nearby). Either way, it must have hurt him, since he's not at all willing to talk about it beyond “Gang took a walk”.

I’m very curious about Mhin saying “Monsters like [Ais] don't know or care about what they have”... What does (did?) Ais have? Could it be in reference to him letting his former gang/companions go away in favor of siding with Ocudeus and/or the Seaspring?

He lives at the Seaspring, though I wonder if he sleeps in a pile near those cushions, cuddling the Soulless, or if he has more personal quarters further in. There's a cave entrance visible on the other side of the bloody water, but that feels more for Ocudeus rather than Ais himself.

The flowers in his pin design are spider lilies, symbolizing mourning, goodbyes, lost memories (I also found: death, abandonment, new beginnings). Eerily beautiful, red spider lilies bear the sorrow of loss and farewells. Eridians believe these flowers shepherd lost spirits into the afterlife. The city has seen a sudden increase in these unearthly flowers, leaving many puzzled about their meaning… Very fitting with Ocudeus’ domain of losing memories and thus, beginning a new life! I’m not sure if we should be taking the increase in flowers literally, or just metaphorically as there’s many in the Groupmind

Vere

Vere's silhouette [1, 2] in the animated trailer [screenshot] highlights the eyes again (“windows to the soul” and all that), his fangs (him being the most openly aggressive) and the collar and chains (the thing that binds him to the Senobium's will).

I haven’t been able to not get his red choice [edit: “hidden ending”, not a red choice], but from my understanding of what others have said it’s based on how you talk to him and not on your actions. I’d love to say more but since I don’t know exactly influences it, I don’t have much to talk about regarding that🥹

“Not quite human, not quite monster. Seems we’re both--” I wonder if he was about to finish the sentence with ‘cursed’?

He has unique dialogue for each of MC’s backstories: to an Alchemist he says “The misery born of your mistreatment haunts you. I understand what it’s like to be used and thrown away. I’ll give your life new meaning”; to an Unnamed “You poor thing, misled by those you trusted most. You caused so much suffering unknowingly. I know that pain. I can help you forget it all”; to a Hound “The betrayal, the loss of hope, the sheer desperation that drives you still to search and search to no end. I could give you something new to live for”. Apart from showing that he knows stuff he’s not supposed to, I’m more interested about what he says to Alchemist and Hound: he knows the pain of causing suffering unknowingly, and he knows what it’s like to be used and then discarded. His powers seems to be seeing through people, I’d say almost mind-reading (“You can’t hide anything from me.”), but I think soul reading is a more fitting definition. I feel that all of the comments related to MC's backstory have more to do with what they experienced/felt than just objective facts, plus the way he says “All that suffering has made your soul so irresistibile...”, it makes me think that he's reading MC’S present and past emotions through their soul.

The most apparent part of his design is that he’s half showing, half hiding. His outfit makes the harness very visible, yet he hid the leash from the MC for as long as possible, and he didn't let them close enough to touch it. His pants are fully cover one side and show skin on the other. The sheer fabrics look very cool on their own but I like to think they're also part of the "half show, half hide" thing he has going on. An Alchemist MC will note that the collar seems to be enchanted, while other backstories will simply say that the lock seems easy enough to open.

In the charms and stickers design, there's his chain in the background, and it's broken. Metaphorically and literally, “breaking free from the chains” symbolizes putting an end to what holds someone captive, but also finding freedom to be oneself. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but I think a freed Vere would also feel free to not hide so much of himself. On that note, I'm extremely curious about what he draws on his sketchbook. Also in the charm and stickers design, as well as in the Nintendo Switch port art, is the key that he stole from the MC. It's curious that they included it instead of a more personal object like his sketchbook (present in the Switch port art but not in the stickers), but it might just be a fun nod to the demo or maybe he'll develop a habit of stealing the key again in the full game, so I don't think I should read too much into that.

Neither Vere or Kuras of them gives too many juicy details about their mutual hate towards each other during the demo, but from the additional info [1, 2] published on Tumblr, I think it might have to do with the fact that both of them have been confined in Eridia for centuries, and perhaps Kuras even contributed to the capture of Vere, too.

He’s defined as a “charlatan”, which by definition means “someone who decieves through false claims”. It fits with him saying “If I were you, I wouldn’t trust a word I say” and “Information is a luxury [...] If you valued my words you'd have taken them seriously”. This feels like a recurring theme for Vere: Ais also says, “Vere is one of the most honest people you'll meet. Just don't listen to a single thing he says”. Despite the very obvious predatory/mischievous nature of Vere, I think that he is very honest about the things he says: it’s about reading between the lines.

His very evident distaste towards Leander might be connected to this, seeing that Leander seems to be hiding a lot.

Vere clearly likes Ais, but as soon as MC asks more, he warns them about how dangerous he and the Seaspring are. I think both are true: Ais being “a good person” doesn’t exclude the fact that he is dangerous.

It could be a stretch, but I wonder if Vere lives/stays in the building that he was chained to?

The flowers in his pin design look like some type of lilies, perhaps wood lily are a type of amaryllis that symbolizes passion, allure, pride ( when researching the wood lilies, I also found: danger, determination). Local legends conflict on the origins of the amaryllis. Whether they sprang from the spilt blood of a scorned lover or were born of an ancient Senobian ritual gone awry, the truth behind these flowers is knowledge long forgotten… or held by a privileged few. Like Kuras, his flower mirrors the connection to the Senobium though it remains vague about how exactly they became involved... In the greek myth, Amaryllis consulted an oracle to win the love of the shepherd Alteo: she walked to his house every day, piercing her heart with a golden arrow, and on the 30th day flowers bloomed from her blood. Alteo became enamoured with the maiden and the flowers that bore her name... I wonder how Touchstarved’s version of the myth is different than ours, and which character Vere is more akin to?

Nothing on Sen or Elyon for now since there's too little info on both, but I'm looking forward to putting them under a microscope too 👀

(bangs pots and pans) please share your theories/thoughts if you read this far? 👉👈

#if anyone wants screenshots re: the in-game dialogue that i refer to lmk and i'll provide #full disclosure i wouldn't have thought of kuras birthday if it weren't for sysba in attollo... oh eldritch beings exiled on earth #i wanted to put the link to the q&a twitch stream but unfortunately there's no vod so you'll have to take my word :( sorry #i also hope that the links to the kickstarter images work since at one point before posting this they all broke... lmk in case and i'll edit #anyways can you tell i'm positively obsessed and i'm this close to counting the days until 2025?#i had fun playing and writing this heehe #touchstarved #touchstarved vn #touchstarved game #ais #ais touchstarved #kuras #kuras touchstarved #leander #leander touchstarved #mhin #mhin touchstarved #vere #vere touchstarved #touchstarved analysis #touchstarved theory #touchstarved spoilers #visual novels #vns #long post #ps: i'm not an expert about any of these but i'm most unsure about the flowers... i tried #edit: corrected an imprecision and added links/timestamps to the q&a vod!#my posts

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theoutcastrogue · 4 months

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This is petty but that's never stopped me.

In the Vox Machina campaign, Scanlan Shorthalt's resounding success in matters of tactics [this post isn't about roleplaying] was partly due to Sam Riegel's skill, and mostly due to the fact that 5e Bards are just that good. However! The "gnome bard" combo was famously chosen by Liam, after Sam, who'd never played d&d before, asked what's the silliest, least powerful and least badass thing he could play. That was his character concept. And at the time, Liam was not wrong to answer "bard". In 3rd Edition/Pathfinder, Bards DID suck, at least out of the box. You could build a strong Bard in Pathfinder, but you had to optimise to high heavens with carefully selected feats and spells and items from various sources. It didn't just happen spontaneously, and it was still nowhere near the raw power and versatility of a Wizard or Druid. Bards played support.

So at lvl 9, they started streaming and switched from Pathfinder to D&D 5e. Scanlan got an ENORMOUS power boost at that point, but Sam was still harbouring under the impression that his chosen class is not powerful or badass at all. And as they kept playing and he kept killing it (he was brilliant at it, no doubt about that!), he presumed that he was killing it with one hand tied behind his back, because he was just a silly little gnome bard. And, he emphatically wasn't silly. He was a whole-ass full caster, top tier class right there.

Pathfinder Bards are half-casters. If they hadn't switched to 5e, Scanlan wouldn't have access to 7th and higher level spells: no Mordenkeinen's Magnificent Mansion (a signature spell), no Dominate Monster (this is how he made the goristro fight Vorugal), no Reverse Gravity (big moment in the first Ripley fight), and no Wish (kind of a big deal!). Other spells aren't in the Bard list, and there's no Magical Secrets in Pathfinder: he wouldn't have access to Bigby's Hand (another signature spell), Otiluke's Resilient Sphere (how he got rid of the efrit, and Ripley), Lightning Bolt and Stinking Cloud (his standard damage spells), Polymorph (that's several giant eagles including the "now smarter" Grog (this will never stop being funny), and of course the legendary triceratops), or Counterspell (kind of an enormous deal). And all the other spells would have come later: no Seeming at lvl 11 = no cows. (What a loss! No cows!)

And it's not just access to spells, it's also "likelihood of spells to work", which depends on the DC, which in Pathfinder depended on spell level. Lower level spells had a lower chance of doing anything, by virtue of being easier to resist. And half-casters got a slower spell progression, and ended up with significantly less power overall. Whereas in 5e spell level is irrelevant, spell DCs depend on your character level, and that's that. Even (Bardic) Inspiration got a boost from the switch. All in all, we're talking about a spectacular upgrade.

So a tragic misconception happened: Sam got it into his head that he's so good at d&d that he can gimp himself and still kick ass. Well, he can't.

When he played a Rogue (no big spells, huh? no cheat sheet!) he sucked at it and he hated it. And now that he plays a Cleric and actually, actively gimps himself (he said in a 4-Sided Dive that he deliberately avoids cleric spells that others have used before in CR, which by now is most of them, and certainly the best of them), he very predictably sucks at it too (I mean relatively speaking; it's still a full caster), and he doesn't love it. The one time he was BRILLIANT was when he had a top tier class to work with, and used it to its full potential. But he thought he was gimping himself, because he was thinking of a different game/edition than the one he was playing!

I wanna grab him by the shoulders and shake him up and say my good man, you gotta stop this "I gimp myself" -> "I fail to kick ass" -> *surprised pikachu face*. CHOOSE. Either gimp yourself and accept you won't be kicking any ass, but it's okay because you enjoy roleplaying someone like that more than you enjoy kicking ass, OR stop gimping yourself and kick ass, because you do enjoy kicking ass, don't you?

Both are great! I approve either way! But choose.

I also wanna grab Liam by the shoulders and tell him "Wizard or Sorcerer! For the love of all that's green and good in this world, next time Sam asks you what class to play in D&D, tell 'im Wizard or Sorcerer!". But then I remember that next time they'll probably play Daggerheart and not D&D unless WotC makes them an offer they can't refuse, so the whole thing is moot.

#scanlan shorthalt #critical role #how to rogue #d&d #5e #3.5 #pathfinder #crunch #bard #trs #sam riegel

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caracalsimp · 11 months

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Montgomery Gator x Reader Headcanons

After everyone voted for Monty, here I go with Monty x Reader headcanons! Hope you guys will enjoy! (helps me cope with the fact that I can't draw FNAF stuff yet because artfight aaaa!)

Monty is probably the most protective of ALL the glamrocks with you (even more protective that Freddy is). You are his precious little thing, and will jealously keep you away from others if people try to get a bit too close to you (to his taste, which happens often... like, a lot often). He trusts you 100% of course, it's OTHERS he doesn't trust.

Monty doesn't like talking about how much he loves you (he think it's way too cheesy and dumb) but will definitely try his best to show it to you through actions, mostly through his protective instincts and will always fight for you if you need him.

Monty will ALWAYS display affection when you two are in public... in his own way. He wants to remember everyone who you belong to, and if people try to get you behind his back, he will throw their lifeless body into the trash compactor, where they belong. You find it cute in some way that he gets jealous and protective that much, but you're sometimes scared he will definitely crush somebody just for your sake (didn't happened yet, but you definitely know it could.)

Whenever Monty is experiencing really strong anger issues and his destructive instincts takes over, he just shuts down and isolates himself. It worries you when it's happening and you want to ease his mind, but he's just so afraid to hurt you by accident that he prefers not to be around you when he's in that state and struggle to calm down. Just the thought about accidentally hurting you would crush his soul into thousands of pieces.

Although, when he feels anger rises inside him and that you're around, he definitely reaches out to you. He likes to ask for pat pats on his head and will softly starts growling when he feels your touch, because it relaxes him deeply. However, he will only ask this when you two are alone. He doesn't assume really well when he becomes lovey-dovey that way, and will definitely kill the person who would make fun of him for this.

Monty is rather ambivert with you. Sometimes he wants to do activities outside with you by your side and will mostly let you choose which activities to do together, and sometimes he'd rather just stay with you and either play video games, watching some horror movies or simply cuddle on the couch while slowly asleep in your arms.

Monty hates whenever you're feeling any kind of negative emotion or when bad stuff happens to you. He doesn't know how to react when that occurs, and he will definitely hunt down whoever puts the only person who accepts him the way he his until he finds them and kill them. No one has the right to make you feel this way under his watch. NO ONE. And it's no use to keep to yourself the name of the person, Monty will find it no matter what. Even when you try to hide your negative feelings, Monty will sense it.

He doesn't show it at all but Monty has a hard time to understand how could someone like you could fall in love with him. He feels so grateful that there's finally a person out there that just doesn't see him as an angry alligator monster, and he feels pretty insecure about this, secretly being scared that you're one day gonna see him that way. He can sometimes hears from guests that you shouldn't date Monty because of his strong anger issues, and when that happens, he feels even more insecure. You tried multiple times to reassure him that you won't leave, but he still have his inner demon haunting him once in a while. He doesn't like talking about it for too long though, emotional conversations are not his thing at all.

Monty likes to rest his head on your neck, wrapping his arms around you from behind and keep you close to him while slightly growling. He also likes to softly nibble your neck, but his biting always remains gentle, he would never brutally bite you at full force... unless you ask him :))

You absolutely love stealing his sunglasses to wear them. And he absolutely love whenever you steal his glasses to wear them. You're the only person he allows that.

And that's pretty much it~

#fnaf sb #fnaf security breach #security breach #montgomery gator #monty x reader #fnaf x reader #monty gator

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mari-lair · 6 months

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I love that zombie extra! I believe Teru didn't take Kou seriously, much less understood what Kou had tried to imply, since his answer wasn't related to the idea of them losing their humanity, jumping straight into the destruction of humankind.

The shrine joke also had the destruction of humankind as his main point.

I believe in both cases he is only half joking: He won't kill anyone, we never see him injure other humans, much less display killing intent towards them, there is a reason the school sees him as a kind boy, (Akane is a special case, I talk about why he is a dick to Akane: Here), but part of Teru genuinely wants humanity to cease to exist.

Even the characters seem to sense this isn't fully a joke.

Teru's reaction to Kou's question was "Eh?- in that case", not taking his eyes off the movie, so he is more focused on the movie than Kou and his question, but Kou had gone "You can't do that..." and looked away from the movie, acting like it was a confession instead of a joke. Akane and priest Kunishige also did not like the vibes Teru was giving, unable to dismiss his words as merely dark humor.

The context in which Teru joked is important too. At the shrine, he jokes after the idea of cutting ties with the shrine, essentially quitting his job, is brought up

This job basically fucked up his life since he was 8, making it impossible for him to be normal. Even free time was scarce, so I am very inclined to say part of him resents it.

'The right and heroic thing to do' is something that doesn't come naturally to Teru, but he consistently has to go out of his way to choose to do it, doing his job for years.

Out of all his duties as an exorcist, he only one he seems to connect with is slaying supernaturals. The most destructive and instinct-related part of the job is the one he claims to be "cut out for".

It doesn't seem 'fun', Teru even sighs when he shares that he is good at killing spirits. But he doesn't hate it. That's something.

In the zombie extra, he makes this 'joke' while he is having fun with his family, seeing fictional people be destroyed. He has been struggling to dutifully play the role of the "hero that destroys monsters" every day so he can't find escapism on the idea of slaying zombies.

Destroying everything for destruction sake's, with no obligation or honor behind it seems far more fun.

And doing it with Kou? That would be nice.

Now, let's go over his reaction to Kou bringing up the idea of being a supernatural.

This isn't a movie. This is his little bro, the main motivation he has for slaying supernaturals despite not being something he personally like spitting in his face by asking "What if I threw all your efforts away? What if your determination was for nothing?"

Kou being a supernatural would be a big defeat to Teru, not a fun idea he wants to join in, so I don't think Teru would be a supernatural too if Kou became one.

...We have no solid panels that indicate what his reaction could be, but I headcanon it would make him quit his job and try to either protect supernatural Kou or make him move on peacefully.

(perhaps even try to gain the courage to exorcise him? I am not sure about this one, but since Teru seems to pity supernaturals, claiming it's 'hard to look' at their desperate attempts to linger to the Near Shore, and most supernaturals treat being exorcised by a loved one as a good thing, he may do it if Kou asks??)

#tbhk #toilet bound hanako kun #kou minamoto #teru minamoto #jshk #jibaku shounen hanako kun #minamoto teru #i'll try to answer 3 asks today let's see if i can #character analysis

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dutchdread · 2 months

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Hey Dutch what is your opinion on crises core reunion ? I had few ca tell me it didn’t do anything for zack and aerith relationship it just made things worse ? I don’t know we’re they get that belief from but it’s there opinion. Did you think the story was ok and gave good context on what they mean to each other?

People give too much flack to Crisis Core. I only played the original CC back on the PSP so I can't say anything about whether or not Reunion made it better or worse, but I enjoyed the original. But part of that is because I simply had lower expectations for portable games than I do for AAA pc or console titles. I won't deny that the game has a bunch of stuff that could have been done better (Cough, genesis, cough), but it had its strong points as well. I think some of the basic concepts of Crisis Core are good in principle, like theme of hopes and dreams, and watching how Zack through adversity unwillingly becomes the hero that he always wanted to be. But the execution was often lacking. I love the idea of watching a several friends slowly break, and I think there is potential in tying that story into them being "monsters" and exploring what it really means to be a monster vs being a hero. But again. The way it was handled made it rather ridiculous and overly obtuse. The constant quoting of Loveless, ESPECIALLY without it ever getting a clear meaning that allows the player to connect with it, Angeals random dramatic self-pity, and a bunch of other stuff just made it so that storywise a lot of the bad overshadowed the good. But I played CC for Zack and Aerith, and they were perfect in my opinion.I loved seeing Aerith like an actual 16 year old girl and how her time with Zack rubbed off on her and caused her to start living every day to the fullest. I still think that the scene with Aerith hugging Zack from behind is one of the most romantic scenes in FF, simply because of how viscerally real it is. Her trying to make small talk, him just being there, choosing to mourn in the presence of the woman he loves, not needing to be consoled, but just needing her presence. And then that hug "sometimes you don't need words to tell a person how you're feeling" indeed. This is also a part of the reason I am convinced Aerith was still projecting Zack onto Cloud at the end of Rebirth "our place", "the church", Yeah right. For Cloud and Aerith the church is just a place they happened to spend about 5 minutes at one point, not even the place they met. Meanwhile Zack went there to see her for I think about one and a half years. He goes there instantly in intergrade, he goes there in Rebirth, we see him waiting there for Aerith at the end of rebirth, the core visual for Crisis core was changed to TAKE PLACE IN THE CHURCH. But the Church is Cloud and Aeriths place.....yeah right. Either that is an intentional hint that Aerith is still projecting, or the writing has fallen off a cliff. Then we have the other character moments, Cloud and Tifa pining for each other, the parallels between Cloti and Zerith. Zack promising Aerith he'll come for her underneath the water tower. And my favorite Aeriths "23 tiny little wishes", all encompassed in the one with to "spend more time with Zack". Which is then ultimately fulfilled via Cloud in the OG/rebirth. And then of course there is the ending, my favorite ending of any game ever aside from Nier:Automata. Man I bawled my eyes out. So yeah, I like Crisis Core, it's messy, but it's messy with a lot of gold in it, and for a portable title I think that's not half bad.

#ffvii #cloti #ffvii rebirth #ffvii remake #cloud strife #aerith gainsborough #ff7 #zerith

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icykalisartblog · 8 months

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About this post. @marchstarling This was exactly it, really well said! In my first playthrough of this game, I was RPing as a noble character with similar values to Wyll, so I ended up romancing him because they became fast friends who agreed on so many things. I still had my character press for Wyll to not sacrifice himself and instead choose to be free in the late-game, but they were very similar people.

But Wyll is super stubborn, as you say. And he is extremely afflicted by learned helplessness (because of how he's been failed and tormented in life by authority figures) and leans into toxic hyper excellence because of how he was raised and then traumatized. Wyll can't choose freedom as a companion if a player character doesn't tell him to. While he pushes for others to be free and always wants the best for his fellow party members, this never causes him to self-reflect without a player character's intervention. He needs support at that pivotal moment. So when I played as him, I had a problem. I didn't want him to sacrifice himself, but how was I going to RP as him and make those choices knowing that normally he can't if left to his own devices? I really want to discuss this narrative and pairing in detail, more (spoiler warning for BG3) below the cut:

I had Astarion as a party member in my first run, and I did like his dynamic with Wyll. I liked that they are both lacking in life experience but they can sort of cover for the gaps in each other's experience. They have an idealist vs. cynic and monster hunter vs. vampire dynamic. They're friendly and generally complimentary when talking to other people about each other, but argue 90% of the time in their overworld banter together. Wyll liking Astarion (provisionally) but also being adamant that he make good choices is the kind of support Astarion needs. I also saw that they were attracted to each other, but all Origin characters show that they're attracted to each other to some degree, so I didn't take much note of that. I basically saw them as a nice pair of friends. I also really felt like Astarion's character arc was a roller coaster ride of emotions, in which I kept the guy around because he was funny and useful and I had been his friend for too long to turn on him, but I was always slightly terrified that he was going to turn into a carbon copy of his abuser by the end of his story. I was extremely surprised and relieved when instead he became quite calm, nice, and oddly optimistic once freed instead. Given how deeply traumatized he is and how long it takes for him to be free, I never really understood how so many people were saying they enjoyed romancing him, either... I was like, surely he doesn't need a romantic relationship at this time? Wouldn't that end up feeling exploitative?

All of my opinions shifted once I started my Origin Wyll run. From the very start, Wyll and Astarion were having heated debates about heroism and sacrifice and arguing often, and since I was playing as Wyll, I realized he desperately needs this. The fact that Wyll matches Astarion's energy and is often more pointed with him than he is with anybody else is good—because that's Wyll being honest and genuine. It's not the Blade of Frontiers act he always feels the need to rely on. And once Wyll was forcibly transformed into his devilish form, I felt like in the melancholy haze of his mind that he was trying to so hard to push through and cover up, he needed the playfulness and kinship he had with this vampire who was also turned against his will.

Wyll normally takes things really slow. He believes in fairy tale romance and courtship, and doesn't feel like he can have sex until marriage. In fact, he's the only romanceable companion to have no sex scene. This is despite the fact that he says his father always pushed for him to engage in "revelry" more often. But I think once Wyll was touched by the Hells, he sort of... gave up. He felt like he could never be forgiven even if he did save his father, and so in a moment of weakness, Wyll stumbled into something with Astarion. I don't think Wyll saw it as casual, because he doesn't feel like he can let himself be casual. I think he felt like this was all he deserved, and that as a monster, maybe he could at least make his fellow monster's existence a little better. In a way, I think Astarion and Wyll were both using each other and making things way more complicated than they had to be. Deep down, they were just two guys who like each other and like bickering with each other. I bet Wyll thought he was in love, but wasn't yet, because he felt like if he was with someone, he had to be in love and everything had to be happily ever after. However, the constant arguing and pushing each other to be better made him start to realize this wasn't a fairy tale, it was something more grounded—something even better.

I'm not sure when Wyll started to feel love for real. I think it was around the same time Astarion decided to say that Wyll is an incredible person and that Astarion wanted a relationship but wasn't sure how to have one, because throughout Act II Astarion began being quite protective... and Wyll isn't used to that. He's always had to be everyone else's hero to feel wanted and needed. In Act III, once they killed Cazador—which was amazing because Wyll freed Astarion turn one and then he Eldritch Blasted Cazador close to the abyss, giving Astarion the opportunity to use Mobile Shot to push him all the way off and defeat him in a smooth display of synergy—I think Wyll realized that he wants this real, unconditional love with Astarion. That he can finally be secure in the knowledge that no matter how they argue, even if those arguments end in tears, Astarion will always stand by his side and they can work through differences in opinion without Wyll being abandoned. That he wants to live! And that's why I had him tell Astarion in the graveyard that he wants and loves him.

I'm sure Wyll was envious of how kind and optimistic Astarion became once he was freed, because Wyll still has to deal with his own abuser's presence. But I think that envy as well his and Astarion's love were enough to push Wyll to choose freedom, to outwit Mizora, to save his father, and finally to tell his father that he can forgive but not forget. Wyll was empowered enough to express that he doesn't want the mantle of dukedom, that he doesn't want the acceptance from his father that he's sought for so many years to come with yet more expectations. And it's so nice that in the end, Astarion—who always felt safer being selfish than selfless—is so eager to become a hero by Wyll's side.

#wyll ravengard #astarion #wyllstarion #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 #long post #This story was just so compelling to me... I love it

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mama-qwerty · 1 month

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Okay, I'm gonna think out loud here, and probably read WAAAAY too much into things. Again.

So. Episode 4 of the series. The rock opera--that was pretty awesome, really--Wade assumes the role of Knuckles and is walked through the 'history' of the echidna's past. Which was not accurate, in any way, shape, or form.

And it also had little tidbits of Wade's life, such as Jack as the narrator, the whole thing being held in a bowling alley, and "Iblis" talking about "hitting up Marketplace".

What if the whole fever dream rock opera wasn't to show Knuckles' warrior path, but Wade's?

It shows "Knux" and his father fighting side by side against the owls. I went back and rewatched that bit and there seemed to be 10 owls--the same number as pins in a bowling game. "Knuckles" and his father fighting the owls could symbolize Wade and his father going bowling together.

But then the owls took "Knuckles'" father. Just like bowling took Wade's.

Now "Knuckles" is alone and faced with threats and dangers he can't defeat as he is. He needed to get stronger.

Wade was alone and couldn't defeat the things he had been facing--feelings of rejection, and abandonment.

So "Knuckles" trained to defeat this great enemy, one that seemed ready to take the echidna down until he discovered his greatest strength was in his heart, not his fists.

Wade isn't a fighter. But he has a strong heart. And he stood up to dangers he never thought he could before. Including his father.

"Iblis" could be a representation of either the negative feelings Wade developed after Pete left, or it could represent Pete himself. And in the end, Wade defeated it, with Knuckles' help.

Now, I don't know how Pachacamac fits into this. I do not trust that shifty spirit, and think there's something more at play than we know. There has to be a reason he told Knux to train Wade specifically.

Wade's . . . well, not the sharpest knife in the drawer. He's trusting and easily manipulated, and not exactly someone you would choose to represent your fallen warrior race.

So, what if Knuckles isn't the Iblis trigger, but Wade is.

In a separate post I theorized that Sonic may have sent the chaos emeralds back in time, and one could have ended up being the bowling trophy that Pete has his grubby little mitts on.

What if, over the course of things, Wade somehow got Iblis trapped inside him, and that's why he's always been such a happy-go-lucky guy. He can't get upset. He can't get angry. He can't cry. Something in the back of his mind tells him that it would be bad if he did. So he doesn't.

He essentially has this monster lurking inside him, holding all the bad feelings he won't allow himself to recognize.

We don't know how the whole Iblis thing works in the SCU. Knuckles' sudden flame powers could be connected to Iblis, or they could be something separate. We don't know.

Pachacamac is up to something. And I don't think it bodes well for Wade.

#thinking out loud #knuckles series #knuckles the echidna #wade whipple

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invinciblerodent · 3 months

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yknow, no, i'm not done thinking/posting/being deeply angry about the whole "bbuuuhhh Astarion is gay and was made playersexual as a game mechanic bbbuuuhhhhhhh" garbage some people still spout.

like this type of sentiment is always annoying and wrong, but it's specifically this character for whom it's especially annoying to me, just because on top of all the regular host of issues, it also deeply contradicts what I believe is the central theme of his whole goddamn story.

(excuse the rant please.)

Like, my skin already crawls at that term, "playersexual". I hate it, and find its use either vaguely ignorant at best, or blatantly pan/biphobic at worst. but even just besides that....

This character is a man whose narrative intentionally shows his presentation of himself, and of his masculinity, as being contradictory with convention. This character is one whose entire arc is about discovering who he is beyond the boxes he was assigned: a spawn, a monster, a seducer, a tool, a predator, a plaything, a victim, a sexual object... these are all identities that were forced onto him. And if he's given space to discover them, turns out, none of them are things that he actually wants to be. if you give him space, and affection (romantic or otherwise), and acceptance, and help him attain closure and catharsis, he expresses desire to be... an adventurer, a lover, a friend, a protector, so many things, but all of them in his own way. That's the point of his story, control vs. autonomy.

How.... myopic does one have to be to see that story, to play that story, to play an active, participatory role in that subversion, that search for the self beneath the masks, and declare that actually, they made him this other box for him to fit into, so... it's fine, i guess, to ignore what he says?????? it's fine if they pick and choose among his expressed traits which ones to use and which to disregard, because they decided (based on frankly homophobic and rather misogynistic stereotypes) that he cannot be different from their perception, despite him literally saying otherwise????????

Astarion's entire figure is a succession of trope-subversions. I could write essays about all the ways in which, in the romanced spawn game, the narrative sets up tropes (primarily in act 1), only to then purposefully knock them down and contradict them as the game progresses.

Like..... He was to take revenge by taking power for himself (like he thought he wanted, like Cazador did to Vellioth): ended up taking his revenge and rejecting the power that could have come with it, and despite that having a price, being content and grateful for it (and realizing that the alternative would have had an even greater price he would have paid unknowingly). He starts out using sex and sexuality as a weapon, and a tool of manipulation, like he did for many decades: ends up expressing discomfort with being seen as a sex object, resuming his sex life by saying "I love you" before his partner would have, and proposing sex with them as a beautiful metaphor for his own rebirth.

His whole story starts out with him thinking he requires protection from the player and that the only way to get that is through using his body and looks as a bargaining chip: later he discovers in himself a desire to be the protector himself, which he talks about more than once, and expresses varying degrees of discomfort at the thoughts of both using his body to gain something, and needing a protector.

There's the "this is what I'm good for" type of attitude towards sex morphing into "I am so much more than a thing to be used". There's the whole thing about how important his looks were to both him and his "usefulness" back then, despite him not being able to even fucking see them, (which also kind of includes that silly lovely gremlin-face he sometimes makes), but those are just the ones off the top of my head.

The story, and the romance plot, is about... it's about him regaining ownership of himself, it's about autonomy, his whole recurring "what do you want" line is about respecting his choices and letting him find his way to them, it's about letting him show you who he is, believing him, and loving the man behind the facade.

how absolutely fucking short-sighted does one have to be to then take that incredibly reductive stereotype of "femme-leaning man with theatrical mannerisms who cares about his looks; must be exclusively homosexual and any attraction he shows to women is just a mechanic/fanservice/flattery" (which, that's so fucking insulting to gay men, and bi/pan men, an any man who might express masculinity in a less than conventional way, and to the women who may love them [eta: and of course nonbinary people, and the people to whom masculinity means something wholly different]), and assign it to this character on their own accord, despite him literally telling the player otherwise? despite him verbally expressing attraction to multiple women, and contradicting that stereotypical interpretation wholly and out of pocket??????

like, hello??????? did we play the same game????????? did we play the same fucking game??????????

like don't think for one second that it isn't the pan/biphobia that annoys me more, it absolutely is, but this character is such a particularly egregious example, it's almost fucking poetic.

#squirrel plays bg3 #i feel like this needs a tw but i just. cannot think of what #i'm just..... annoyed. and ranting. and my brain is full. and i'm hungry.#point is; where Gale's central theme boils down to an exploration of devotion #Astarion's is about autonomy #these are the only two i've done so far so i've not yet looked this much into the others #next is gonna be me ranting for hours about Shadowheart's theme of sacrifice; just you wait #(i hope the person who replied to this post; deleted their reply; and then blocked me #knows how heartily I just laughed at that little sequence of events)#(it's like seeing; idk; a bottle of nice healthy kale-spinach juice discarded in the liquor aisle of a supermarket)#(a telltale sign of DecisionsTM made)#(I can respect a “yknow i don't want to engage with this today”)#(even if i will just outright say that i believe i'm right)

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orginllazyblog · 2 months

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Been playing AFK Journey and honestly...I'm loving it so far

So here we go with some headcanons and silly interactions

The player, either male or female, can attract beautiful women or be beasties with them

With my player and with the interactions with the characters I meet so far, she is most fond of women

Haven't really thought of a name for my player, so I'm going with "Magister" even tho their name is Merlin. Plus, they forgot half of their memories

Meeting with Valen, the character who everyone falls in love with him. Yeah... I don't really see him that way 😅

Other people: "He is so fine 😏"

Me: "He's my beastie. If I die, he's dying with me, ain't no choice."

He's my emotional support friend

Also, I'm glad that there were characters from the Afk Arena such as Antandra, Satandra, Rowan, Niru, Brutus, Thoran, Lyca, Silvina, Arden, Lucius,Mirael, and Eironn I'm surprised how Lyca is playable but not her brother Lorsan 😭

There are only a few celestials and hypogeans in the game (so far)

The side quest I've completed, Romeo and Juliet, I find it quite funny as the group read the letter Romeo wanted to give tk Juliet. Yeah, it was a bit cringe, but luckily, Lorsan is the guy who knows romance 👍🏼

And with that, we become a trio: Valen, the friend everyone has a crush on. Lorsan, the friendly one, and me the player and the great mage everyone thinks but just a chaotic gremlin searching for treasure chest. And then there's Rowan, the rich friend.

I go straight to the npc monsters to get goodies and resources for my heroes. I make sure my team is at a higher level than them.

Yesterday, I just figured that you can interact with the animals like a cat or dog, and it was just...so cute. It show hearts and even sounds of them.

As for the guild party, I haven't decided on which one and more focus on the story mode.

Speaking of which, I actually got asked on a date by none other than...Mirael. Yeah, that got me by surprised 😮 Fun fact, Mirael was my first crush when I started playing afk arena bc she could wield fire, but that was when Lilith introduced Talene. So getting asked out by her was like... a dream to me 😌

But then she left 😭 like what did I do!?!?!? Did I choose the wrong answer? Don't leave 😢

Back to the story, the group has to sneak into the old man's mansion to investigate more of the grape situation, and that's where I left on bc I was playing late at night

It is such a beautiful game with the graphics, the weather changing, and new heroes. I'm very happy to be able to play when it got released for mobile. Also, I was wondering if the devs would add heroes from the Afk Arena

#afk journey #silly headcanons #gotta find secret chest #oooo found something shiny #Valen is my homie #he got my back #itll be funny once everyone knows that the player is the merlin #there are pretty women here #Valen here is our wingman

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kanansdume · 11 months

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I think it honestly just depresses me that Qui-Gon has become this character that fandom either turns into a saint or a villain. He's either this perfect "Gray Jedi" who is more enlightened than anybody else ever who can do no wrong, or he's an abusive selfish monster too focused on being right all the time to care about anybody but himself.

And it's too bad, because Qui-Gon is honestly one of my favorite characters. TPM was the first Star Wars film I ever saw, and part of why I will defend that film with my life is because of how much I enjoy Qui-Gon as a character. Yes, he's unorthodox sometimes. Yes, he takes risks. Yes, he can be kind-of an arrogant bastard sometimes. But he's hardly a villain or a monster or some kind of incompetent buffoon. Qui-Gon trusts his instincts and the Force above nearly all else, which allows him to make split-second decisions that he doesn't even entirely understand himself. He doesn't know exactly how things will turn out, but he trusts that it'll eventually work out so long as he keeps following his own instincts and letting the Force guide him to what he should be doing.

And that's SUCH an interesting character with really unique motivations! THAT'S what he means when he says to live in the here and now, to just trust that things will eventually work out if you keep following your instincts and the Force's will if you can hear it. Don't overthink it too much to the point that you talk yourself out of doing the right thing, even if you don't know why it's the right thing yet.

For people who aren't Force sensitive and who don't have that kind of connection to the Force, I imagine working with Qui-Gon could be immensely frustrating because he's so often doing things that SHOULDN'T work out for him and seem completely contradictory to his goals sometimes and maybe even entirely crazy, but then they just KEEP working out. A few hours, days, maybe even years later, Qui-Gon gets the last laugh. Imagine how frustrating that is to someone who can't hear the Force! All logic says this dude should keep losing, and somehow he just keeps getting proved right!

The level of faith he has is incredible, the amount of trust he has to place in others because of this is also incredible. It's not just Anakin, either, he has to do this with Obi-Wan, with Padme and Sabe, with the Council, even Dooku when he's younger.

And I love his relationship with Obi-Wan, the faith he has in Obi-Wan's abilities and the level of comfort and familiarity with each other that they've clearly built up over time. He can say something to Obi-Wan that to the audience (or to an outside viewer) might seem like it's only a half-formed thought, and yet Obi-Wan is completely able to understand what Qui-Gon means by it. They work together really well, Obi-Wan knows when to step up and when to let Qui-Gon follow his instincts. Qui-Gon trusts Obi-Wan when Obi-Wan does choose to speak up and often treats Obi-Wan as more of an equal partner than a subordinate. I love the subtle line Qui-Gon walks between allowing Obi-Wan enough independence to learn and grow because Obi-Wan is an adult who is clearly nearly ready to head off on his own anyway, and continuing to guide Obi-Wan because Obi-Wan is still his student and that's his role. I love how quick Obi-Wan is to tease Qui-Gon and how easily Qui-Gon chooses to take it when it happens.

Qui-Gon is SUCH an interesting character and it's really sad that fandom just keeps choosing to mischaracterize him no matter which direction they go, removing any and all nuance from him and the part he plays in the narrative.

#star wars #the phantom menace #qui-gon jinn #obi-wan kenobi

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sugarcoatednightshade · 15 days

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finally got around to watching The Unsleeping City and I'm so obsessed with Pete. immaculate vibes. perfect character.

Anyway I'm halfway through episode 8 and I can't stop thinking about the previous episode, We Need to Talk About Pete. Especially that scene where Robert Moses shows him that video of Kingston admitting that he'd kill him if necessary, and Pete assumes that it's just taken out of context. Which is funny and sorrowful because this is a rare instance where context makes his statement 1000x worse.

And I had to pause Subway Skirmish and write this quickie just exploring what would happen if Pete heard the whole conversation, terrible context included. Its mostly work for word until the end, the only difference being that Ricky agrees more with Esther and basically proposes an intervention, which gets to Pete in a whole other way.

I'm predicting that Pete and the gang make up almost immediately. Either at the end of this episode or the next one. Which is really sweet and affirming, but I love the idea of pvp and Pete actively fighting the rest of the group, maybe embracing being the voice of nightmares as well as dreams, isolating himself with nightmares, etc.

Anyway, I cant finish the episode I'm on until I post this. mom said. Enjoy 1.5k I literally wrote instead of sleeping. This is a first draft, unedited, probably full of needless angst and grammatical errors, I wrote it in like an hour and refuse to read it again. Enjoy.

Robert held the phone out to Pete. Its screen showed a video cued up to play.

“Listen, kid, I’m not trying to force you into anything here. I just want you to have all the information, know who you’re really working with.”

“I know who I’m working with,” Pete lied. But he was looking down at the screen which showed his new – friends? Associates? Comrades in arms? – sitting down at a table. The angle was high and the quality kind of shit, like it was taken from old security footage, but Pete could clearly make out Kingston’s expression, frozen in something like rage. It was a weird expression on him, one Pete hadn’t seen in all the time he’d known the man.

“Just look,” Robert said. “Come to your own conclusions.”

Pete takes the phone away from Robert, hating himself for it. But, goddamn it, despite it all, he was still fucking human. Even knowing Robert’s game – he could practically smell the shit he was talking – he couldn’t pass up on free information. If only so that he could know what Robert knew, so he couldn’t use it as extortion later.

Yeah, Pete thought, real convincing.

He pressed play. The image on screen jumped, showing a much calmer and collected Kingston. It was reassuring for all of one second, because when the recorded Kingston opened his mouth, the words he said sent Pete’s stomach rocketing to the floor.

“I mean, here’s the truth Alejandro if things get out of hand, we put him down. Straight up.”

He barely hears Kugrash’s and Sofia’s protests, ignores the revelations that Kugrash has human kids and a whole human life he abandoned, stuck trying to process what he just heard.

Kingston is speaking again, saying that ten out ten times he’d choose the city over Pete and that’s fine, really, that’s fine. Pete’s not selfish enough to thing that he matters more than the entire population of New York City. And Kingston is supposed to be the voice of the city or something. It’s basically his job. Pete should be used to people in his life choosing their careers over him.

Sofia asks a question that’s been bothering him for a while, and Alejandro answers confuses him at first – he talks about someone named Jackson and a Concrete Order and some other things Pete doesn’t really understand until…

“It is not fair to the people who have come to this city or have been born here and lived here their entire lives, that their wellbeing, safety, and in fact, even their life or death should be thrown into chaos because of what amounts to often a joke.”

Pete thinks back to the bug monsters that had attacked Astoria. Despite all the destruction and chaos and death, at no point had he sensed any real malice coming from them. They had been excited and grateful and fully unaware of why what they were doing was wrong. To call them evil implied that they knew right from wrong and actively chose it, but they were just doing what they did just because.

Alejandro had become more animated as he spoke, gesturing wildly with his hands, but now he lowered his voice enough that Pete had to raise the volume and lean in to hear it. “Peter actively courts the darkness more than the light.” Alejandro’s back was turned to the camera, but Pete could see the way his shoulders hunched forward, as if he were sharing some great secret or revelation.

Suddenly his hands feel clammy with sweat. He wants to pause the video but can’t, can’t let Robert know that any of its getting to him, so instead he watches as a group of people talk about him like he’s something dangerous, talk about locking him up – you guys have to tell me if you’re cops, right? – and taking his drugs and putting him down like he’s infected. Like he’s a rabid dog that can’t be trusted not to bite.

And, looking around, Pete hates to admit that they’re right. What defense does he have, sitting in a vampiric nightclub filled with dead-eyed humans selling their bodies for a little cash? What defense does he have when he’s so used to that stare that it barely registers? How many times has he sold drugs to people with that same look in their eyes, desperate and empty?

Pete knows what kind of person he is, what kind of people he runs with. And like Robert had pointed out, he’s not exactly subtle. Pete knows he’s dirt. Robert called him a businessman. Kugrash seems to think he’s just some troubled kid who needs a little guidance. Kingston and Alejandro think he’s a ticking bomb.

But Pete knows what he is. He’s a homeless drug dealer who sells to monsters and children, whose only friends are nightmares and people who want him dead. Fuck them, he thinks, who fucking needs them.

Some girl – Esther, he thinks, but it’s hard to remember when her back is to the screen – voices her support of Kingston.

Ricky is facing the camera, so Pete can see his face when he agrees with her. The grainy footage blurs his features, but he still looks sad when he says, “Obviously, Pete needs help. He’s not in a good state physically, financially, or mentally. He a danger to the city, sure, but he’s just as much a danger to himself. I’m not saying we lock him up, but what if we just supervised him. Helped him get clean and sober, and then maybe that would help him calm down a little, give him a little more control over what he’s doing.”

Hearing Ricky – perfect fucking Mr. March with his washboard abs and crest-white smile – talk about staging an intervention is almost more painful than watching Kingston plan murder.

How fucking dare they. What, they know him for one fucking week and decide it’s their business what he does with his life. They’re total strangers, who cares if they think he’s dangerous. Of course he’s dangerous; it’s New York fucking City, everyone here’s dangerous. The people right now discussing his murder probably more dangerous than he is. But them coming after his livelihood? His medicine? Sure, he could probably live without the coke and shit, but what happens when they come for his anti-psychotics? His Zoloft? His Testosterone?

Would they decide that’s unnecessary too, decide to take that away from him for his own safety?

Sofia, previously his strongest defender, looks to be agreeing with Ricky. Only Kugrash is pushing back, talking about self-medication and withdrawal. But Kingston’s talking over him and then the video cuts, ended, back to the paused scene showcasing Kingston mid-yell.

A voice from the corner of his mind he’s beginning to associate with his magic speaks. They know nothing of your struggles… they do not know your pain as we do… they would have you imprisoned or worse, without trial or jury… we can help you escape…

A shadow appears in front of him, and Pete nearly jumps out of his skin. But its only Robert asking for his phone back. Pete hands it over without a word.

“I hope you have considered what you have seen.” He says.

“I might need some time to think it over,” Pete says, which is true. “I know the area, I might head across the street a get a drink.”

Robert frowns. “Why go to another bar and pay when you can get drinks here for free?”

His tone immediately sets Pete on edge. Between his dad, Alejandro, and now Kingston and Ricky, he’s so goddamn tired of men telling him what to do. And Pete’s not some fresh teenager new to the scene; he’s not stupid enough to accept free drinks from a suit.

“No, actually, I think I’d really rather leave.” He says, moving to the exit. Robert lets him leave.

On his way out, Pete catches sight of his reflection in a mirror. It covers a wall of the club floor to ceiling. What he sees reminds him of that one vampire movie, Van Helsing. Most people in the club vanish in the mirror. It’s just him and Robert and the other humans reflected. Robert excluded, Pete thinks that he fits right in with this crowd. It’s his first time seeing his own reflection in days; bloodshot sunken eyes and unwashed hair, his skin visibly damp with sweat. He looks like any other homeless junkie. How could anyone think he’s dangerous? How could anyone think he’s an important player in this game?

The mirror people stare back without seeing. The voice of magic whispers… but you are important… you are important to us…

Pete turns to keep walking, makes his way out onto the street now bustling with city life. He was stupid to think this new group of friends wouldn’t fall apart or turn on him. They were too good to be true anyway. How could he have forgotten that he belonged here in the gutter with the rest of his people. Homeless junkies and petty thieves.

He wouldn’t forget again.

#pete the plug #the unsleeping city #dimension 20 #character study #my writing

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kranagok0 · 2 months

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Anders The good father

Well, it goes without saying which chapter I am basing this blog on. I'll just write down my thoughts and leave

*Anders notices that Hilda is sad about Johana's disappearance so he chooses to take her on an adventure so they can spend time together. After all, it is possible that a good father-daughter trip can soften this very depressive state in which both of them are trapped.

*Anders tries to prepare lunch for the trip using as a reference a cookbook that Tontu gave him so that he could learn how to cook something moderately edible (at another time we will talk about how Anders knows each of Hilda's friends in another post). Obviously no one can improve that much in a week, but Anders tries. The food doesn't turn out good or bad, but it's not something you would normally eat on a daily basis either. Still, with no more things in the cupboard or money to buy food until Anders' next payment, they both leave in the family car (more junk than transportation) and head out for a trip to the road.

*From here on it's almost the same as with Johana, however, Anders tries to cheer Hilda up by letting her drive. Fortunately this time Hilda manages to keep the steering wheel steady (they go at a snail's pace but it's better than nothing) and drives down the road with her father.

*Just like in the series, the car breaks down and Anders tries to fix it (this has already happened thousands of times with many second-hand vehicles that he buys and fixes himself). Anders thought he could get this thing running before sunset… Without a doubt this vehicle was the most beat-up piece of metal he had had the misfortune to drive in quite some time. Anders took longer than expected (especially because this car had no spare parts and it was a miracle that nothing was completely broken).

*Anders spends time with his daughter camping in the woods, telling stories about their adventures and trips to different places (I want to think he is some kind of archaeologist, bounty hunter or something, I really need someone to tell me something about his possible job) and about the things he has found. It also omits some parts of him escaping for his life and avoiding some dangers, but that didn't matter if Hilda became happy and left her worries behind. He even learned to play a song that Aunt Astrid taught him (it sounded horrible but he could still understand the musical tune by 40%).

*The next day they go to the lake and Hilda begins to explore the area. Like the series they end up removing Astrid's amulets. Consequently the creature appears and tries to eat Hilda while the girl was hanging from a vine. Anders tries to go after his daughter but trips over the network of amulets. In a desperate attempt he throws a handful of amulets at the creature and manages to hit one of its eyes. Now Anders was the monster's target.

*Certain things happen and Hilda is caught by the creature along with Twig. Anders witnesses everything and goes to the place where the monster took his daughter. Those cries for help and the presence of that creature were too much for Anders, the guy began to hyperventilate. And as he always did (as an adventurer and as a father) he escaped. He went directly to the car and tried to start it, luckily for him he heard the engine cooperating this time and Anders was about to release the handbrake… That's when he noticed his daughter's scarf on the lever.

Anders remembered this scarf….. He bought it himself for his daughter. It was kind of funny giving a baby a scarf and watching him try to eat that long piece of cloth. Her first baby teeth had emerged and she was already nibbling everything, not even Anders was saved since the baby Hilda bit his fingers when he tried to pick her up and yet he lifted her over his head and saw his daughter laughing with happiness. So innocent, so happy, so brilliant…. So worthy of having been able to have a better father….

Anders was not a father, nor an adventurer…. He was a coward, a two-legged rat, a crawling animal, the scum of life and worse things for the simple fact of wanting to leave again instead of facing difficulties. . Well no more!

*Anders turns off the car and gets out of the car to go get his daughter, and he didn't care if that thing surpassed him in size, strength, speed, endurance, courage, intelligence or even if it flew at any moment. HE WOULD GO FOR HIS DAUGHTER, GET HER OUT OF THERE AND THEY WOULD COME BACK HOME FOR DINNER!!

*So, using his basic knowledge from his adventures (improvise) Anders decides to do something to be able to fight hand to hand against that thing from Avernus. Then he remembered the net and those strange amulets, that was the only thing that hurt the monster. Anders had an idea so crazy that it could work….

*DAMN IF THAT SHIT ACTUALLY WORKED! Anders managed to improvise a mannequin with his shape and size, put him in his spare clothes (which were not very different from what he was wearing today) and put his phone on an eternal repeat of him shouting 'I'm here, you repulsive creature, so come for me if you dare!' He lost his cell phone but it didn't matter, he needed to go save his daughter. The creature fell for the deception and Anders entered the cave to save his daughter while he had all the amulets they found on him. The cobwebs blocked the way and Anders removed them using some amulets (I say if they could contain the creature then they could also undo its webs) and took his daughter, and the Deer-fox, out of that cave.

To his bad luck the creature returned…. Along with Anders' improvised mannequin.

"Hilda… Go to the car"

Hilda looked at her father with some confusion and doubt on her face.

"You know how to drive well, you know the way to Trollberg…. Start the car and drive home"

Hilda's face fell with a new one full of uncertainty and fear, she knew what her father was doing. She didn't want to leave and she wouldn't leave her father behind. At first she would refuse, but then Twig saw Anders' pleading face…. The man did not give her any orders, instead his look suggested a silent plea full of torment for his daughter to get as far away as possible.

Twig had no choice but to grab Hilda by a part of her sweater and try to drag her to the car. Hilda wanted to stay, she didn't want to leave her father, she couldn't bear it… Still, she escaped. Anders was a little glad that his bad habit of running away will be passed down to his daughter…. It was the only good thing he could get out of his cowardice.

"I have escaped for so long, so many times that I could have changed and now I regret never having turned around and tried again… I don't deserve to be a father, I don't deserve to be called an adventurer… Still , I will not turn back. Not anymore, not now nor ever. Now… I RATHER DIE THAN CONTINUE BEING A COWARD!"

With his hand surrounding that handful of amulets, joined together on a stick that he sharpened and was using as an improvised spear, Anders launched into battle. He knew that he was not going to win, it was basically impossible for someone as cowardly and useless as him to be able to stand up to this entity, but he would buy time. Time for her daughter to save herself, return home and look for her mother. Johanna must definitely still be alive, looking for a way to return to her daughter wherever she is now…

The battle lasted about 20 minutes. 20 minutes where Anders spent it surrounding the creature and hiding in bushes and behind trees to throw some amulets from time to time at the monster's face. The amulets ran out and Anders was struck by the creature's tail.

Anders waited for his dark end. Where a new person should have been, full of horror and despair, he is now a smile full of happiness when he thinks that for once he did things right… He was no longer afraid.

Or that was before seeing the family car hurtling off the hill at top speed and hitting the monster in the side. WITH HILDA INSIDE THE VEHICLE!

DAMN, JOHANA WAS RIGHT. HE NEVER HAD TO TEACH HIM HOW TO DRIVE

The car, to even Twig's surprise, was still in good enough condition to keep driving. Hilda yelled at her father to get in the car and he did. Hilda put the car in reverse and pressed the pedal to the floor to get out of that place as quickly as possible.

The creature was injured, but still had not eaten anything in years (besides small fish and water lilies) and was hungry. And sometimes hunger is more powerful than pain. The monster got up and started chasing them.

The chase lasted a long time thanks to Hilda driving like a crazy woman behind the wheel (Anders was sure that she didn't teach her to drift to turn in such a cool way, miracles of life… Maybe?).

Unfortunately, the car started to run out of power (that is, it survived a collision with a huge monster but the battery ended up being the problem). The creature catches up to them and tries to grab Hilda. Anders reacts in time and moves his daughter so the monster doesn't take her. Instead Anders is carried away by the monster's tongue.

Hilda: Dad!

Hilda uses the net that the amulets were in before to use it as a rope and tie it to her father's arm and also to the car. Anders feels how one of his arms is dislocated and part of his muscles are torn in the other. I try to hold back a cry of pain by clenching my teeth tightly.

As if a cruel joke of fate were this situation full of twists and possible tragic outcomes for poor Anders, the car had power again and Twig was on the accelerator (trying to make the car surpass the creature in strength so that it would release to Anders). Anders felt like his arms were practically being destroyed.

But even in pain, Anders could talk.

Anders: Hilda…. My girl groans in pain I don't think I can get out of this….

Hilda: no…. Don't say it, we will save you, you just have to resist!

A sudden movement of the vehicle and the monster made Anders scream in agony as he felt that his other arm was also dislocating.

Anders: Hilda…. You're a good girl, you have friends who will help you if you have problems, I never had that and that's why I ended up like this… Maybe you can stay with them for a while until your mother comes back and-

Hilda: No, shut up! I want to be with you until mom comes back! E-eh even if you come back, I want to continue spending time with you! I won't let you go!

To Hilda's bad luck or Anders' good luck (for the first time today) the rope of the net was the first thing that began to give way, quickly breaking and tearing.

Anders: I have always been a coward, all my life I ran away and never looked back. That's why I want to tell you that it was thanks to you that that changed…. Hilda, you gave me the courage. Thank you.

Just then the rope broke… But Anders felt like his arm was still being held by something. It felt different than the grid, and also a little warmer.

Hilda was holding her father's arm while his legs were strapped to the back door of the vehicle.

Hilda: If you are brave, then don't leave me alone… Please

His daughter's tears made Anders start crying too. Thinking that his daughter was so fragile and brave at the same time made Anders want to hug her.

Hilda's boots slipped off the door and they were both dragged by the monster.

Anders: Okay. I will never let you go again…

Anders, still with his arms almost broken, hugged his daughter as tightly as he could. The monster swallowed them both.

Twig braked the car (he learned by watching Hilda somehow) and got out of the vehicle only to see how the creature had devoured Hilda and her father in one bite…..

No one expected the monster to start retching and make a sudden guttural sound from its throat. For a moment, Twig thought she was going to explode. But luckily for him he only vomited Hilda and—

OH MY GOD, HILDA IS ALIVE!!!

Twig launched himself at Hilda and began to lick her face… Only to feel disgust when he remembered that it was full of monster slime and other stomach things that he was not going to be able to forget…

Hilda was relieved to have avoided death again for her old friend (she should stop tempting fate so much) and she is glad that she and her father, somehow, were saved from being devoured by that thing… .

wait… And his father?

She looked around the area where the monster regurgitated her. His father was nowhere to be found. He was still inside that thing.

"Yuck, you taste horrible"

The creature said. Hilda didn't care about that, she couldn't accept that the only reason it wasn't eaten was because it tasted horrible. What makes her so different from her father?

In the midst of her anger and sadness at her situation, Hilda throws a bunch of things that were lying on the road at the monster.

Hilda: Give my dad back!

Hilda continued throwing stones and branches at the monster for a while. The creature was trying to say something but that didn't matter to Hilda. She didn't want to leave without her father, she wasn't going to accept this stupid, crude and cruel outcome.

After a few seconds Hilda also began to throw things that were in her pocket. The funny thing about this is that one of those things was the lunch that Anders had made that morning

Once again destiny and its gears turn in mysterious and confusing ways as lunch falls into the monster's mouth and its pupils dilate. That taste was so majestic (I literally only ate small fish and swamp plants, something prepared in a halfway decent kitchen must taste like a 5 star dish).

"That flavor is so majestic, even more than that strange guy"

Hilda: wait… Do you like my dad's food…?

One thing leads to another and Hilda makes a deal with the creature; She gives him her supplies and he throws up on his dad. Just as they promised, each one did that.

The first thing Anders did when he emerged from the beast's stomach was to get up as quickly as he could and look that aberration of nature in the face. Then I breathe.

Hilda stopped her father from facing the creature again (0% chance of winning, 100% faith) and explained the situation to him.

After that everything happens almost the same as in the chapter until they arrive at their house. The only difference is that Hilda had to drive all the way home (Anders's arms were broken, just moving them was a horrible feeling)

Hilda goes to the library and parks perfectly… Inside the library.

Summarizing this situation (later I will explain what happened in the library in another post, I promise) Kaisa heals Anders and takes them home.

While there, they both talk about what happened and how glad they are to have gotten out of that horrible situation. Also, Anders feels renewed, a big change has just happened in his life and this time he would do things right… Starting with finding his ex and being an exemplary father to his daughter. Even if it means changing jobs.

Well look at that, it's perfect for an AO3 chapter… If only I knew how to use that website correctly…

Those hardships aside, I liked writing a good redemption for Anders, or at least trying to, I don't know if I got my point across and everything else about how Anders tries to change for the better and wanting to make things right. Make up for lost time and fix everything.

Still, it made me angry that he put his dreams before his family and all that. But when I started to get to know the character I said: "I wish they had given him a deeper and more detailed background than just appearing from one moment to the next and then making him disappear" and well, here I am.

Now tell me, did you like it or not? Any opinion is welcome because I plan to continue making this type of post… I just hope I stick well to a specific script.

Well, with that I retire to continue writing more things. See you later

#hilda #hilda netflix #hilda (netflix)#hilda the show #hilda the series #hilda series #hilda anders #Anders maybe can be a good farher #Maybe #Hilda AU #Anders The good father

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streaminn · 1 year

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tell more about this new streamer au u've mentioned bc im very interested

So it starts with an game

You can vc and shit this game too and it was very very popular. You could choose whether to be a normie or an outcast, there were several jobs that one can take and quests with challenges.

Overall a really fun game bc you can either play with friends and build a land with them or play solo and try to complete everything

Think of uh, genshin! But you can customize and level up your character + it being constantly multi-player unless you go to your own private land that you can buy or get from quests

you can also unlock elusive powers as an outcast if you complete certain quests as well.

It was called, Jericho Online bc I can't think of a better name rn 😅

So it starts with Pugsley who starts badgering to thirteen year old Wednesday to join him in playing the game

Wednesday joins begrudingly, tired of all his incessant whining and also because the words of player killing caught her attention

Enid, whos been playing with pugsley is interested immedietely when the two log in. Going !? And circling the newcomer

Wednesday immedietely plays chase and that's the start of a new friendship, with Enid going !?!!!! And Wednesday pulling out her starter knife bc she's supposed to kill this monster

Enid's character is obviously a werewolf, one of the most famous race type in Jericho but there's a catch

Due to high demand, the devs has given a roll of chance to anyone who plays this race. Bc of this you could be an alpha, beta or cursed

Alpha's usually have a better chance to land a critical hit (aka better crit rate in their base form)

Beta is normal, your stats don't change.

Cursed are left unable to shift, which is an ability that all werewolves have where their crit dmg and crit rate is multiplied by two during full moons (which actually follows the irl moon cycle and there are usually combat events/bosses around then who drop really good loot)

This ability is really really good when you have the right artifacts and is part of the reason why so much people choose werewolves

Enid unfortunately, is a cursed and so she sulks with her amazing artifacts with the knowledge that it could be better if she just shifts

Continuing! Wednesday chose to be a psychic and ends up with the sub ability to summon ink creatures at her will. Aka be a beast tamer of some sort

The catch is, she has to kill the creature and subdue it first before she can acquire them into her slots. She is only allowed five creatures in battle so she has to choose carefully aswell

Being a beast tamer is pretty fun but it's lowkey like playing Pokémon so not alot of people liked to use it

Anyways abilities over

Wenclair plus pugsley go have fun, they start raiding dungeons, doing quests together until pugsley drops out from uninterest like a few months in

Enid understands, Wednesday doesn't care and so Wenclair continue their journey of beating absolute ass in this game because wednesday is competitive and Enid is happy to be there

They grind for the absolute best of artifacts and spend so much time on better weapons, it's almost like they're addicted

And honestly? Wednesday was having fun. There was a joy in being able to calculate how well you can do if you wear this goblet that raises your elemental dmg or if you lvl up this skill to a certain lvl you can beat absolutely everyone

(and maybe, planting lil carrots infront of Enid's house isnt so bad)

Enid while competitive, was having fun decorating her lil land far from Jericho. It was like a lil hobbit hole, with greens and vines and dim lighting because wednesday can never stand the bright lights that were originally hung up and vehemently refused to visit if they were there

"you're like a vampire!" Enid says in the in game comm

Wednesday tsks "a vampire who isn't afraid to pk you, Sinclair."

"you're so mean Willa," sinclair, Enid's username, whines.

Willa, Wednesday's own in game username, just hurls her dagger at the sulking blond.

"Wha- HEY!"

So they play and play and omy?

They get married?

Interesting, so it seems that in the second year anniversary of Jericho (when Wenclair are fourteen) the devs decided to have a lil romance for the lonely people and give the ability to marry

Why are Wenclair married? Well, obviously for the benefits. You get 3x the xp when doing quests, challenges and missions together, not to mention that the probability of getting better artifacts and quality quests skyrocket by 5 percent

Like sure you have to share land and divorcing means losing half your gold but it's fine!!

It's with the status of married does Wenclair stumble across a secret quest

The tale of Crackstone

By the third year (Wenclair are now 15) of playing and finishing of the tale, Enid's status as cursed shifts to bludhound.

They celebrate, theyre having fun and theyre practically a married couple. Wednesday insists to go to a dungeon and Enid wants to do a world quest instead

The two settle these disputes with any challenges. They're kids, theyre having fun and if Wednesday looks forward to spending time with Sinclair so much that she bought a pc for herself then that's for her to know.

It's been three years and theyre practically inseparable! The two playing everyday just to spend as much as time together

Until Enid mentions that she won't be so active in a few days.

Why? Willa asks in chat. Are you getting kidnapped?

Course not!! Sinclair replies. Why do you always think I'm being kidnaped??

^n E ways imma be movin so I'll be bz :( can't play much bc we Goin out a state

Wednesday pauses then she squints, there's a feeling in her gut.

Ok, is willa's simple answer. Get online when you come back, we still need to investigate Crackstone's crypt.

Kk! Sinclair cheerily replies. Bye bye Willa, cya in a few dayyysssss

Sinclair has logged out the world.

Wednesday tilts her head a tad and there's a crease on her brow as she sits in her chair. She continues playing, making sure to check over the crops one more time before turning in for the night.

Crackstone's crypt is left uninvestigated for years

Sinclair inbox: 99+ unread messages!

#Wenclair #jericho online au

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