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#i thought i was gone since march
altblock-tm · 5 months
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behind the scenes beef in our production of Alice in Wonderland is insane
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fairysteve · 1 year
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In the weeks following Barb's death, Steve doesn't swim.
He desperately wants to — needs to — but unless he breaks into the school's indoor pool, his only option is the heated pool in his backyard. The pool that Barb died in. The pool her body still is in.
Even if it isn't the same pool, even if it isn't the same dimension; even if he never saw her, Steve can picture it perfectly.
He knows that he should just break into the school already or arrive early to the swim team's training one day. He knows he has technically been swimming; he can't abandon his role as co-captain. But it isn't the same.
What Steve needs is to swim until it's like meditation, to swim until his skin fits right again. Trying to beat his own best time isn't the same, and he can't get in the right headspace around his teammates anyway.
So Steve desperately needs to swim; he needs it to happen before he can no longer pretend, before he breaks down because he faced a monster and Barb died in his pool.
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chubbletea · 1 year
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marching band isn't supposed to make you extremely suicidal right
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wavernot4love · 8 months
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oh what do you Mean ag just announced a boom done tour and the first show is in my area. and also i see thursday play war all the time in full in less than a week .... a show which is also the first show of tour ....
big moment for wavernot4love lately
#any buffalo boom done goers please reach out#unironically#insert I Will Be There No Matter What image#also this means i have roughly a month to actually get 2 know boom done#i've definitely gone in depth about this lore but just 2 give a lil recap#it's genuinely a lil funny because my first ever direct exposure to ag's music was a boom done set right after it dropped#at a fest i was volunteering at in my area#beyond knowing his name just from. u know being in the scene & whatnot#i had no idea who bro was or what bands he was from#of course also due to scene stuff i knew about circa/saosin#but i had never actually listened 2 them and didn't know he was the singer#anyways so i watched that set#thought “wow this dude is cool”#then a month later dunes happened#& now i know and love all of bro's major projects except his solo stuff oh my#march 4 2024 that all changes babey#anyways point is i am very very excited#also anyone going 2 that thursday buffalo show next week feel free 2 reach out as well#may make a few kandi 2 give out also would love folks to lose my mind with since i know Next To No One in my area that cares abt this stuff#alright i do have an acquaintance that may be going (my cousin's friend) but that's not definite & it's not like i know them overly well#i don't mind soloing shows at all (as my history certainly shows dhdhhd) but it is always Fun to have people 2#sing along with#oh buddy regardless i am very very excited#thursday#thursday band#anthony green#i am tempted to tag this to dunes all things considered but i also don't want to be That Guy#wavernot4love gets 2 the gig#wavernot4lovetalksmusic
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pomefioredove · 1 month
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Could I HCs for the headmasters (or only Riddle, Leona and Azul) reacting to one of their students asking to be transferred to ramshackle? like a small club of Yuu admirers :3
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Yuu Admirer Club!
I misread this the first time and thought it was yuu transferring to THEIR dorms but, actually, I like this better. this is fun
summary: yuu admirer club :) type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, vil additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu
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seeing as Heartslabyul hasn't had an expulsion, transfer, or dropout since Riddle became housewarden, this comes as...
...quite a shock
he thought Ace had been joking at first
or annoying him on purpose...
and then he comes down to the lounge one morning with his bags packed and a forged letter from Crowley
despite Riddle's strong feelings towards you
(and they are strong)
he's still offended!
all of the loving and tender discipline he's given, and Ace just leaves?
well, he can't stand for that
Riddle marches to Ramshackle, ready for heads to roll, but before he can even knock, you're there, dragging Ace and his things to the door
"oh, thank goodness. TAKE HIM BACK!"
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Leona doesn't even notice that Jack has been missing until he passes the spelldrive disc at morning practice and there's no one there to catch it
more of a "huh" reaction
then he forgets about it, takes a nap, and only remembers to ask Ruggie the next morning
"he's been gone for two weeks. he moved to Ramshackle, remember?"
Ramshackle? weird choice, but okay
Jack has always been a little... strange
Leona's reaction is more or less, "huh. nice kid. oh, well,"
but after that, he starts seeing you and Jack together more and more
and he starts to feel... weirdly jealous
it's like he's rubbing it in Leona's face
taking up all your time, always making you smile and laugh...
Jack was never that funny at Savanaclaw
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
it takes Azul at least three days to start worrying about Floyd
he and his brother are known to disappear at random
then, the Mostro Lounge has to open an hour late because someone didn't show up for his morning shift
now Azul suddenly can't remember the last time he saw Floyd at the Lounge
after a brief manhunt, he finds Floyd all cozied up on your couch, in your slippers, with a mug of hot chocolate
great
"you cannot transfer dorms by avoiding your old one!"
"exemption!" Floyd says. is he also wearing your robe? "I'm simply a part of the Yuu Admirer Club"
Azul rolls his eyes
...and drags Floyd back to the lounge
after all, if there was such a club, Azul would have been the first to hear of it
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Vil can feel something is off even before Epel is late
and, as always, he's right
Epel misses curfew, and Vil sets out on a mission like a mother hen missing a chick
of course, he knows just where he's hiding
and he lets himself in unannounced
"Epel, here. now,"
the poor boy looks like he's seen a ghost
you're not even involved in the conversation, but Vil's tone alone is enough to send a chill down your spine
"but- but- I got permission! this is the Yuu Admirer Club!"
Vil, of course, has no patience for this
"I gave you no such permission, and there is no such club,"
you can admire them on your own time like the rest of us, he thinks
luckily, Epel is saved
he's not the only member of the club, after all
"now, judge not so quick, dear Roi du Poison! does our admiration for our Trickster not exemplify that of a club?"
"wh- Rook?"
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bluejutdae · 7 months
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best friend Stray Kids saving you (or being saved by you) from a bad date | Chan x you
this will become a series, I’ll make a scenario like this for all the members. Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin | Jisung | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin
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genre: romance, friends to lovers
warnings: asshole guy who thinks sex is required in exchange of a dinner
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“I’m sorry but I really have to go, it’s a family emergency. But I’ll call you.” This guy is really pissing you off, but he’s tall and pretty muscular and the vibes you got from him during the (luckily short) date make you uncomfortable.
“Are you really using this lazy excuse? I invited you to dinner, I’m gonna pay, so the least you could do is to put it out there!” You blink in disbelief, he really is a creepy guy. Chan is on his way though, so the thought comforts you a little. You reach into your bag and grab a few bills and, as you place them on the table, you give the guy a sarcastic smile. “I can pay for my own dinner.”
Grabbing your jacket you turn your back to him, ready to leave, but the asshole grabs you by your arm and yanks you towards him. You don’t have the time to do anything because a hand is suddenly around the guy’s wrist like a vice.
“Let her go immediately or I’m going to break your arm.” You’ve never heard Chan talking with such ice in his voice and a shiver runs along your spine.
“Fuck you both. I should have known you were a frigid bitch!” the guy lets you go and raises his free hand in surrender. Before letting him go, Chan looks at you for the first time since his arrival. “Are you okay?” You nod, confused. You thought your crush for Chan was long gone, but if the butterflies in your stomach are any indication, your crush is alive and burning.
Not even 5 minutes later, in a cab with Chan sitting next to you, you catch the end of your best friend’s sentence: “…can’t believe that asshole!”
“You know what’s funny? He called me a ‘frigid bitch’. Isn’t that a bizarre insult? What does it even mean?” Now that you’re with Chan, you’re calm and not scared anymore.
You hear him laughing, shaking his head. “Like anything that came out of his mouth made any sense… but really, are you okay?” You nod again. You’re not scared, you’re not uncomfortable, but something in your chest trembles at the idea of parting with Chan. “Can you stay over tonight?”, you ask quietly.
When you close the door, the atmosphere is uncommonly quiet and tense. Did you make Chan uncomfortable? Did he have other plans? Is he annoyed with you for always needing him? As all those thoughts run across your head, he slips out of his shoes and goes straight to the kitchen, feeling at home in your small apartment. “Can I steal some ramen? I didn’t have the time to eat a proper dinner.” In lieu of an affirmative answer, you wash your hands and start preparing a quick dinner for Chan. “I’m sorry I hijacked your night, Channie.”
“What are you talking about? My plans involved ramen at the dorms and hearing Hyunjin and Jisung screaming against the tv. They started a new drama”, he explains watching you moving around the kitchen. He loves to look at you while you’re busy, while you’re too occupied with something else to notice him studying you, watching you with love in his eyes. Tonight was once again proof you only saw him as a friend and nothing more: otherwise you wouldn’t have gone on a date, right?
Wrong.
You spent ages crushing over him, but once you were sure he felt nothing for you, you tried (in vain, apparently) to get over him.
You place a steaming bowl of food in front of him and sit at the table, looking at him.
“No more lame dates. No, you know what? No more dates.”
“You let a couple of bad guys ruin your search for true love?”
Well, he’s not gonna complain, but he also doesn’t want a bad experience to scar your hopes for romance. “Nah, they’re not worth it. My perfect match is not interested in me anyway.”
Fuck, you shouldn’t have said something like that, now he’s gonna ask questions.
“Perfect march, uh?”
You wave your hand, almost slapping away the topic. “Eat your food, Chan.”
“I thought you told me everything,” he pouts and you’re a weak weak person, how can you be tough in front of his pout?
“There is someone I like, I liked him for a while but it’s unreciprocated, so there’s no point in talking about him.”
“Then he’s dumb. Tell me his name?”
“You kinda know him, so I’d rather not… you know, don’t wanna make it weird.” Chan looks at you with a weird something in his eyes you can’t really understand, but for the sake of your secret you let it slide.
“Movie?”
The movie has been on for at least an hour but neither of you is really watching it. You’re cuddled on the couch, Chan’s head on your lap and your fingers slowly playing with his hair. It’s one of his favorite cuddling positions, and you love it cause you have the chance to watch him without being noticed.
“I wish you’d tell me who he is.”
You freeze in surprise, fingers stilling on his head.
“Chan…”
“No wait, listen for a second.” He sits now, and bites his lip. “We’ve always told pretty much everything, but there are things I haven’t told you either. So I will tell you something secret about me if you tell me who he is.”
“Why do you wanna know?”
“Because!”
He’s quick to get on his feet, walking on the small carpet in front of the tv. “Because I wanna know who’s this dumb guy who is not in love with you. What’s not to love? He’s lucky enough you are interested in him, something I’d give an arm for, and he’s not on his knees worshiping you?” He then freezes, like something hit him and trains his eyes on the floor. “Forget what I said”.
What did he say? Are you drunk and incapable of understanding or Chan just said he’d give an arm to have you interested in him? Something swells into your chest and you decide to be bold for once.
“Do you like me, Chan?”
He stills his pacing, gaze still trained to the floor, and nods carefully.
“It’s you.”
“Mh?”
“The guy I like, it’s you.”
He’s gonna have a sore neck tomorrow, considering the speed in which he raises his head.
“Me?” You nod, with a hopeful smile on your lips.
“I was convinced you felt nothing for me…”
You don’t know which one of you moved first, and it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you’re kissing, now. You have his wet, soft and pillowy lips on yours, his tongue asking to be let in your mouth, your hands holding the other tight, almost to make sure this is real and you’re not going to vanish any seconds now.
“We’re such a clichè” he says on your lips, laughing cutely.
“Maybe. But I like it anyway.”
If being a clichè is what brought you two finally together, then so be it.
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rainydaydreamsideblog · 5 months
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(The Maze Runner) Imagine: He Protects You
It can be dangerous, especially for the only girl in the Glade.
Warnings: Guys being creeps in the Glade (nothing graphic), bullying, the Maze, danger.
. . .Thomas. . .
It’s a beautiful evening in the Glade.  You’re walking straight along the treeline on your way to run a final errand for Alby at the end of the day.  The sun is no longer visible, as it already descended far enough to be blocked by the walls.
Suddenly, you get the creeps.  It was hard to explain, but you feel goosebumps bloom along your skin, and you get the distinct feeling that you’re not alone.  The lovely glow of the bonfire is in your field of vision, but it’s so far away. It’s where most of the guys are gathered.  You can hear their distant whoops and hollers, reminding you that help is far away too.
A twig snaps, and your suspicions are confirmed.  There’s a figure following several feet behind you, lurking in the shadows cast from the trees above.
So, you veer off your original path to draw closer to the homestead where there would hopefully be someone who hadn’t made it to the bonfire yet.  Whoever it was must have caught on to what you were doing because they instantly pick up their pace.  You begin to hurry, increasing your speed so that they can’t catch you before you make it to what you hope will be a haven of safety.
Your heart is pounding, and your chest heaving with panicked breaths as you finally make it to the homestead.  
“Hello?” you call frantically.  
Suddenly, Thomas appears.  He sees your nervous state immediately, his hand taking yours.  But then his eyes lock onto something behind you, and he moves right past you to intercept your pursuer, effectively blocking them from you.
“What’s going on?” he demands.  Your follower is frozen to the spot, stuttering, failing miserably to offer up some sort of explanation.  Thomas steps forward, towering over the guy.  It’s plain to see that he is furious.  His forearms flex and his jaw is clenched.  You can hear his angry breaths as he speaks again.  “That’s what I thought.  Now, get out of here.”
As soon as the guy is gone, Thomas turns around to face you.  His close presence eases your fearful state when he steps into your space, filling your nose with his scent. “You okay?” he asks gently.
You manage a nod.
“We’re going to tell Alby right away.  This isn’t going to happen to you again.  Come here…” He carefully pulls you into his arms for an embrace, as if you’ll break apart if he’s too sudden. You bury your face in his chest, breathing a sigh of relief.  His heartbeat is close to your ears, like a lullaby.
“Thank you…” you whispered.
. . . Newt . . .
You couldn’t take it anymore.
The teasing, the taunts… The inability of certain individuals to just leave you alone.  Ever since you’d rejected him, Allan had made it his life’s mission to make your existence in the Glade all the more difficult.
Most recently, he had purposely bumped into you at lunchtime so that your meal was spilled all over your clothes and onto the ground.  Resources were limited in the Glade.  It was understood that wastefulness wouldn’t be tolerated.  You couldn’t afford to lose food or have clothing ruined.  Fortunately, your clothes would be fine after a wash, but the discarded food was a different story.
You dab at your tank top with a washcloth and pause to look at your reflection in the mirror.  It was all too easy to recall how quickly you’d reached your limit after Allan’s ridiculous ploy.  Your face is still wet from crying, eyes puffy, and lips parted as you took deep breaths.
There’s no use crying over spilled milk, you thought. Or in my case, spilled lunch.
After composing yourself, you decide it’s time to go back out there and face the music. You toss the damp rag aside and march determinedly out of the empty washroom.  To your surprise, you smack right into another individual coming in.  You instantly recognize the blonde hair and grumbles of complaint as he reels from the collision.
“Oi, shank, watch where you’re going-”  Newt quickly realizes it’s you and clamps his mouth shut, extending his hands to each of your shoulders to steady you gently.  He takes in the sight of your tear-stained face with his eyes showing clear concern.  “Hey, what’s gotten into you?”
“Oh, just… Nothing. It’s nothing.”
Newt looks far from convinced, and you lower your gaze.  He’s about to inquire further, but a familiar voice sounds from outside the washroom.
“Hey, _______!” Allan calls tauntingly, making you freeze up.  “How’s it going in there?”
Newt’s eyes instantly flash, and his face scrunches up anger.  You can hardly believe it when Allan continues.
“Sorry about my clumsiness earlier.  Maybe I can make it up to you.  Come on out before I go in there!”
Newt can’t contain himself anymore.  He turns on his heel and heads out of the washroom, and you follow behind just to see the look on Allan’s face when he realizes he’s been caught.
It is so worth it.  Allan’s stupid grin falls hard into a look of horror as the Second-in-Command approaches him furiously.  He doesn’t lay a hand on him, but he looks like he’s awfully close when he jabs a pointer finger in his direction.
“If I ever catch you bothering her, or even breathing in her general direction again, you’ll be a permanent Slopper for the rest of your time here in the Glade.  Do you understand, shank?”
Allan nods quickly, and doesn’t even wait to be dismissed.  He just hurries away, leaving you and Newt both standing there watching him flee.
“Coward,” he mumbles.  Then, Newt turns to you, resting a hand on your arm in a comforting gesture.  “I mean it, you know.  He’ll never bother you again.”
. . . Minho . . .
It’s hard not to panic when you glance up and can no longer see the sun above you. It’s the end of the day, and you’re nearly out of time.  The lightning pain that shoots through your ankle suddenly just becomes too much.  You lean against one of the ivy-covered walls and exhale.
“I don’t think I’m going to make it,” you say aloud, and the words weigh heavily on you.  You mentally scold yourself.  You can’t afford to think that way.  A Runner knows better.  With a wince, you continue limping on your way.  It’s not that the exit from the Maze isn’t close.  If memory serves you right (which it did), it wasn’t too far at all… but at your pace, it would take a lot of effort and some good luck to get you back in time.
Just when you are about to give up again, you hear footsteps rapidly approaching.  Your first thought is that perhaps your cowardly companion had a change of heart, but the footsteps didn’t match.
“Hello?” you call.
“_________!” Minho’s voice responds, and your heart swells with hope.  You aren’t out of the woods just yet, but your chances were much better with help. Minho nearly slides to a stop in front of you, instantly taking your arm and putting it around his broad shoulders to help you up.  There is no time to stop and compare notes, so you update him as he begins helping you back along the path.
“I sprained my ankle.” You hold onto Minho like he’s your lifeline as you push through the pain to keep up with his pace.  He’s right to go so fast.  Time is running out.
“Where’s Derek?” he asks with a grunt.
“He…he left me,” you gasp in pain.  “I think he was worried he wouldn’t make it out in time if he helped me.”
Minho goes quiet for a moment, and you can practically feel the anger rolling off him in waves.  His eyes are focused straight ahead at the path, and he huffs.  Finally, he bites out a sarcastic comment. “I think it’s safe to say that he’s getting demoted from being a Runner.”
You keep talking, trying to distract the both of you from the familiar groan of the Maze walls shifting.  “Why did you come out here?”
“Because it was getting late in the day, and no one had seen you,” he pants.  “Usually, you check in with me right away.  I knew something had to be wrong.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet.”
You continue limping with all your might toward the gate, feeling your heart jump, as the walls on either side begin their agonizingly slow crawl to a close.  There’s a small group standing on the other side, ushering you both out anxiously.  It was mostly Keepers, a select few who had been informed of the problem by Minho.
The two of you fell onto the green grass, gasping for breath, while the others surrounded you.  Alby knelt down beside you, resting a hand on your shoulder.  You just let yourself breathe, tears welling up in your eyes from relief.
“So it’s true?” Gally questioned, brows raised.  “Derek left her in there.” “Yes,” Minho replied, sitting up.  “And he will face the consequences.”  He looked over at you, finally catching his breath.  “You’re safe now.”
. . . Gally . . .
James had been haunting your steps for far too long.  He was always there, always hanging around, and sometimes showing up at the most alarming of instances.  What could be done about it?  It wasn’t as if he’d taken severe enough action to warrant disciplinary measures, you thought.  He was only ever seen staring at you, smirking, and just being an all-around jerk at times.
This time, he’d snatched your tools away from your working station while your back was turned. After uncovering a particularly tough old root, you turned around to get a spade to chop it up, only to see that your things were gone.
A few laughs caught your attention, and you glanced over to see James and one of his shadows standing there, staring at you from several feet away.  You couldn’t say for certain, but it seemed like they had something to do with your missing tools.
So, now you’re debating with yourself on the best course of action.  Do you ignore him and try to rustle up some extra tools from Newt or Zart?  Or do you bother to give this shank the attention he’s so desperately seeking to get your stuff back?
You don’t really like the latter option.  Frankly, James gives you the creeps. The last thing you want is to play his little game… But every minute that you spend deliberating is wasted time that could be put towards helping the Glade.
As much as you despise indulging him, you find yourself marching right over to his work area.  Both James and his minion are laughing in amusement, shoving each other at the sight of you approaching.
“Do you know where my tools went?” you ask, pinching the bridge of your nose.
“I might,” James replies cryptically.  “And I might be willing to strike up a bargain for that information.”
You fold your arms across your chest.  “What could you possibly want?”
“Ohh, I don’t know…Perhaps a kiss will do.”
You make a face as the disgust hits you.  “Seriously?”
“Do I look like I’m kidding?”
“Yeah, that’s going to be a ‘no’ for me.”  You wave off the concept, turning around.  You decided that your best bet is to find some spare tools.  This just wasn’t worth all the trouble.  Just as you start to leave, James comes running around to block you.
“Hey now, I didn’t say you could go.”
“Yeah, you might want to think about his offer,” James’ lackey said from behind you.  The two of them close in, and you clench your fists in preparation to fight.  If you make enough commotion, you’re sure that someone will notice and come to your aid.
You give him one last chance.  “Let me pass.”
“Come on, just one kiss.  Unless you want more than one after that-” to your relief, James is cut off by a new voice interjecting.
“What’s going on here?” The three of you turn to see Gally standing there, sweating from whatever project he was working on,with dirt and wood shavings on his clothes.  His expression looks expectant as he waits for an explanation, though his tall and bulky form makes him appear positively dangerous as he stares the two guys down with his hands resting on his hips.
“I, uh.. We…”  They break off in stutters and fumbled words.
“I’m fairly certain they have my tools,” you say, and Gally’s famous arched brows raise at the two guys in disbelief.
“Is that so?” As Gally walks forward, he plants his palms harshly on James’ shoulder, shoving him clear out of the way. James stumbles unceremoniously, almost falling straight into the grass.  Gally walks over to the bench and pauses.  He picks up a bundle of leather and tosses it to you, the tools rattling inside.  “Are those yours?”
You recognize it immediately.  “Yes, these are the ones.”
“You shanks had better never even speak to her again.  Understand?” He stares at each of them pointedly with all the authority of a Keeper, and they both nod.  With that, Gally walks up to you and ushers you away with a warm, gentle hand on your back protectively.
“Your timing was impeccable,” you say quietly.  “Thank you.”
“They won’t bother you again.  I’ll make sure of it.”
“I think you already have,” you chuckle.
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satoruhour · 1 year
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LAUNDRY DAY
a/n: I AM ALLIVEEEEEEE 🔥🔥🔥🔥 sorry i had a crazy week! can be read as a standalone piece but based off gojo’s roommate au of here and here / tagging @jabamin @hyomagiri @utahimeow @lov3rbody ☆
wc: 4k
warnings: sub!gojo that turns into dom!gojo, fem!reader, fantasising? gojo is a pervert too, mentions of semi-public sex, implied somnophilia, panty sniffing, pillow / dry humping, m! masturbation, oral (m receiving), deep-throating, praise, pet names, unprotected sex, multiple rounds, creampie / breeding kink, n*sfw under the cut
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living with you was hard. brushing his teeth with you was hard. being around you — hard. both figuratively and—
there’s a loud sigh from you.
clearly tired from the day’s activities of ushering in freshman after freshman, you lugged your body into the bathroom. the same rehearsed words have been leaving your mouth as your cheeks hurt more and more by the hour, only to repeat it all over again the next day.
“you look like shit,” it’s muffled by the way the toothbrush is stuffed into his mouth, foam peeking out from the corners of his mouth and you’re trying not to tell your roommate (and boyfriend) to shut up — you didn’t have the energy to do, much less say anything and you certainly didn’t have time for your lover’s clever quips so late in the night.
it didn’t help that you recently had an argument too; well, trivial to him but much more major to you. it was a matter of getting gojo to keep his laundry properly and to clean up after himself once he’s gotten himself comfortable in the relationship. it’s not like he doesn’t want to — he was cleaning up in the first place to impress you — but now since he’s got you, it’s like he simply expects you to act as his little wife when it was a shared space. the exact argument you used against him.
“satoru— this is a shared apartment! you can’t just leave tteokbokki cups lying around with the gochujang sauce still inside! it’s going to attract cockroaches and ants!” you gesture wildly, the sheer amount of trash lying around making you even sicker than you thought possible. getting paid to usher in freshmen and then coming home to this? it felt like every cent of your hard work had gone to waste.
there’s only a grin on his face, “you’re so attractive when you’re mad, baby.”
that was another thing: the lack of seriousness that gojo possessed at times, simply talking to piss you off, simply living to be the bane of your existence. “and you’re fucking unbelievable, gojo satoru. clean up— or don’t,” you made sure to lace that last word with venom, “i don’t care.”
that seemed enough for gojo to snap out of his stupor, “no, no— princess, fuck, i’m s—” his brows furrow when he briefly spots the thickening glaze of your eyes, possibly filling with tears before you’re marching into your room to slam the door and he swears to himself. satoru had never felt embarrassment and shame and sadness like that day; having just taken a shower but his skin was sweaty and uncomfortable and his heart sat right at his feet.
gojo swears he never wants to hear you say his full name ever again.
since then, it’s been a little tense between the two of you. geto had noticed it on movie night, shoko realised you haven’t been looking at your phone as often. hell, even prof. yaga had to tell you that you were distracted way too much lately, and it’s only been two days.
satoru tried to possibly take back what he said with whatever powers he didn’t possess, but he only gets another sigh from you as you squeeze the toothpaste out and start brushing your teeth, not even sparing him one glance in the mirror.
and yet while he was the first one to start his nightly routine, he’s left to be the last again from the way he’s unable to stop staring at you, a recurring trait of his whenever you were in the same room with him. it’s a testament of how attracted he was to you — at how his shirt slips off your shoulder from how big it was because even when you were mad at him, you forgot about that little detail. gojo’s eyes trail from your exposed shoulder to your legs and back up again to your fatigued face. he skims over the shape of your eyes and down to your nose and he thinks he’s the luckiest man to be brushing his teeth beside you now, blessed with seeing such an intimate side of you even if it’s as simple as this.
until gojo’s eyes fall upon your mouth as your toothbrush is doing its job of perfect innocence, cleaning some teeth, scraping off the bacteria on your tongue, except when you’re switching it from side to side all your roommate can think about if it was his dick instead. and the thought leaves him as fast it comes.
all you do is shoot him a weird look through the mirror when gojo exclaims like he was a vampire whose skin burned under the bathroom lighting, and he regains composure with ease.
“i’m fine! fine. doing a-okay.” satoru speaks through the foam and it’s spraying everywhere and you’re too tired to care before you hear another gulp when you move your toothbrush again, “sorry! sorry— continue please.”
gojo is starstruck for an entirely different reason, now, watching the toothbrush making bulges at the side of your mouth as it moves in and out and he’s left to fantasise about the many, many times you’ve gotten him in you and the warmth of everything. he can feel himself get hard under his sweatpants when you start brushing your tongue and you gag and he wants to die standing in this 30 square foot bathroom because the last thing he wants to do is sexualise something perfectly mundane.
gojo isn’t like that (well, most of the time. can’t blame him for finding you smokin’ hot).
“what the fuck is your problem?” you’re speaking through your foamy mouth now, spitting it out and proceeding to clean up with no clue of what you do to him. satoru on the other hand — terribly excited that you’d even open your mouth to talk to him after two days of endless silent treatment. 
“nothing, baby. it’s nothing, i promise.” you can’t lie at the way your heart jumps at the familiarity of it all, of being in such proximity to your lover, doing domestic things like these and the ‘baby’ and yet your pride is holding you back on everything.
you go straight to sleep, too, not wanting to entertain anything related to gojo satoru and you feel just a little bad when he looks at you with those baby blues and a sweet pout on his face. he looked especially pathetic in the bathroom, like a deer caught in headlights at just the presence of you and you want nothing more to apologise. it’s never that easy, though; you needed a promise, you needed the reassurance that he wouldn’t be leaving you to clean up after him again.
all these worries are willed away when you finally fall into slumber in your own room, body craving the warmth of satoru unknowingly. you had stolen a pillow the day before and it’s been the sole source of his scent, the only thing to keep your mind sane.
gojo’s heart drops again upon seeing you already deep in sleep, thinking he had a chance to catch you before you did, but the needines for you never goes down even now. he cannot take his mind off the way you’d run your hands through his hair or tangle your legs with his, satoru’s limbs recall the memory of you playing with his fingers and how you like to curl your arms around his neck. 48 hours is enough for him to go insane, and also maybe at how your leg was propped up on his missing pillow, hugging it so tight to your chest. you hadn’t bothered to wear pants either, so all he can see is the shape of your cunt under.
he stalks into the room and kneels in front of you, finger so tempted to run along your folds and make you wet, staring a whole minute and weighing his options until decides he doesn’t deserve it, turning away and closing your door softly.
“going now, satoru.” it’s soft when you mumble it, not even wanting him to hear before you’re stopped. you’re donning the uni orientation shirt and eyebags, a soggy sandwich from yesterday staining your bag with its smell. “what?”
“made you somethin’,” gojo’s cute like this with a frilly apron and hair band, still managing to tower over you despite the adorable get-up he’s got on, “it’s a bento.”
and you wish you could just melt the pride that runs through your bones and kiss him all over, and you break just a little. a small smile and you walk up to him, grabbing the lunchbox and pecking him softly on the cheek, turning away fast enough to not catch his fangirl moment — because you knew you wouldn’t be able to make it on time if you did.
“we still have to talk later when i come back, okay?” you call out as you put on your shoes and you steal one last glance at him, “and today’s laundry day. you know what t—”
“yes ma’am!” gojo salutes and you roll your eyes with a small smile, locking the door behind you with heat on your cheeks and the pounding of your heart. it was difficult not to break when it came to satoru, when he’s trying so hard to win back your words and love, and so tonight you’ve decided after the tiring week is when you’d finally stop running away over such a small matter.
although, gojo got caught up in something way beyond your expectations even if he had his initial intentions (which involved ordering your favourite takeout and kneeling at the front door in apology). 
your roommate lays around for a bit before grabbing some lunch and heading to the back room, a little extension attached to the kitchen with a tune on his lips. it’s clear he’s a little driven by your little innocent peck, a sign that maybe you weren’t so mad any more. for the next hour, satoru is contently doing the laundry with a smile, until—
the panties you threw in before showering must have fallen to the bottom of the pile, the same one he saw you wear last night and he thinks maybe the low humming buzz he heard last night wasn’t his imagination because when he picks it up he can smell your arousal. there’s a stain from the previous night and another pool of juices from this morning and he now knows that it wasn’t the kettle.
“dirty girl,” he grins, “both yesterday and this morning?” he’s thought about this for the longest time, always holding himself back because you found him weird enough even before you were dating, always letting you do your own separate load for your undergarments. but since you’ve gotten together, you were more comfortable, throwing it into the same laundry basket — the compulsion has never been this strong before.
gojo puts it up to his nose and smells like the pervert he is, among other times: teasing you with a hand down your pants when the two were over at your dorm, fucking you in the kitchen as they focused on the movie, pounding into you with the windows open, and he almost ascends at the scent of your pussy juices. there’s a spark that goes down right to his core and he palms his bulge unconsciously, coming to his senses when the washing machine beeps.
he impatiently puts in the settings and leaves, heading straight for your room and is hit with all reminders of you. the perfume you used this morning and the body wash you share with him, walking almost under a trance to your bed where he moans at the softness of the sheets as he falls face first. it doesn’t take him much to scoot to your pillows, but the need for you is just too much.
gojo grinds his cock into the bed, whining softly as he whiffs up your natural body smell, hips moving on their own accord as he manoeuvres a pillow between his legs. he humps it like a dog, groaning and moaning and the strain on his dick is just too much, balling up the undies in his hand and his body tenses at the friction. 
“baby . . f-fuck—” satoru’s voice is high-pitched and choked, all the thoughts of you culminating into one big ball of desperation for you and he cums in his pants, tainting the fabric a darker colour than before. but he’s not done — his hips still move against the pillow, thrusting into the fluff as he rides out his orgasm, moans muffled by the pillow. “miss you . .”
gojo misses you more than anything, feeling so much distance even within the house that he flips over — by now the sun shines its golden rays a little less. the afternoon is winding down into a cool evening — and pulls at the waistband of his pants. he’s still sensitive, wrapping a hand around his hard cock and pumping and the sound that leaves his mouth is borderline slutty. with another smell of your cunt, he strokes his dick, using his cum as lube.
“oh . . r-right there— mhnng . .” satoru’s hips buck into his hand, squeezing and thumbing at his cock before unbundling your panties and wrapping them around his shaft. the sight drives him insane. sure, it’s one of your more everyday underwear, neutral in both design and colour but he can feel the fabric get wetter and wetter from how much cum he’s pushed out earlier and that’s enough to keep his hand pumping. “s-sweetness, cummin—”
gojo’s head makes a dent in your other pillow from how hard he was pushing it, back arching at how the warmth in his hand will never compare to your mouth or pussy. he can already feel his second orgasm approaching, your room filled with the squelch of his cock and his sounds and he shoots his load with a drawn out moan all over your panties and his stomach. his cum is always so much, dripping down his pelvis and onto his hand and also . . yours?
your boyfriend lets out the girliest scream you’ve ever had the pleasure of hearing, scrambling up to the headboard when he sees you hovering over his body. he accidentally kicks your chest in the process and you have to clutch it with a small “ow”, although a small smile is still present on your face.
“having fun?”
“dude, what the fuck?” 
your smile drops, “dude?”
gojo suddenly has his hands moving frantically, “nonono— no, sorry, i meant baby!”
you sigh, sitting back down on your heels as you take in the sight: his still hard cock and the sweat lining his body. his bangs are wet and your eyes flit down to your soiled underwear.
“uh . . i was just borrowing it,” gojo nervously chuckles, handing the cum-filled panty to you and your brows furrow.
“darling, you can’t just give someone back their clothes with your come on it.”
and your boyfriend pouts again, “i really am sorry. and for everything else, too. for not cleaning up and for being a general bum,” this is why you also (sometimes) favoured his unseriousness when you were talking about difficult things. the amount of times you had succumbed to his touches and kisses when you were mad at him was much better than your pride. gojo brings you onto his lap like his dick wasn’t just out, and you relish in the closeness you’ve missed.
“i need you to show me you mean it, ’toru,” he lights up at the nickname he loves just as you point a finger in his face, “aht! calm down. don’t think we’re all buddy-buddy again.”
“i will try,” gojo is smooth, taking your hand into his while the other brushes the hair away from your eyes. you lean into the touch, “and i will try until you see my efforts.”
you smile at his honesty, “and i’m sorry for ignoring you as well. it was childish of me.”
gojo hums, bringing your face in to plant a kiss to your lips, “i missed you like crazy, princess.”
you laugh, “yeah i can tell, i miss you too.” you gesture to all of him and he whines softly at the joke, squeezing your waist.
“you’re not weirded out?”
his breath hitches when you move down his body and situate yourself between them, finger tracing his tip and teasing him, “why would i be? i’ve literally fucked myself wearing your shirt.”
gojo gulps loudly, “you did w-what?”
“i’m just better at not getting caught.” all words are taken from his lips then, when your mouth engulfs him and the feeling of it is just pure insanity. gojo pants and his thighs tense, a hand gathering your hair into a ponytail to keep it from interfering. his eyes fixate on the way your suck him off, recalling the last time he’s watched you do that was in a damn bathroom. 
“y-your mouth—” satoru swears under his breath when you swirl your tongue around his shaft, the tip of his cock making bulges on the side of your mouth and it only leaves him calling out your name time after time.
“y’know,” you gargle on him, slurping up his cum, “i know what you were thinking starin’ at me last night.”
gojo snaps his fingers and mumbles out a shaky damn, because he can always be read like an open book. he just didn’t know he was that obvious.
“looked cute staring,” you mutter around him, “like a little puppy.”
you slap his thick length on your tongue, moaning when you feel just how heavy it is, “you just wanted this so bad, didn’t you?”
gojo whines at your words, nodding, and you go back to the abuse on his dick, bobbing your head up and down as your hand plays with his balls. the other moves over his torso, at the porcelain skin there and you can feel his stomach heaving at your ministrations.
“are you close, baby?” you ask mindlessly, the lewd sounds of his fat cock in your mouth sending sensations right down to your sex as well. you never really listen to his answer, taking a deep breath and sucking in your cheeks and soon you’re deep throating your lover.
“mh— mmf . .” sounds deep from your throat as your nose buries itself in his pubes, and satoru struggles to hold your tantalising stare. he can feel his tip hit the back of your throat and his moans are quick and high-pitched.
“cumming— ’m cumming,” before you come off and you go back to your pace and gojo’s small moans descend into longer ones at the feeling. his eyes roll back right into his skull as he twitches in your mouth and soon he’s spilling right into your throat and tongue.
“baby—” satoru’s eyes are squeezed tightly shut, “s-shit . .” and the sheer amount of cum always takes you off guard, sputtering over it when you drag your lips off of him. your boyfriend’s eyes are hooded and darkened, looking at how the strings of his semen droop from your mouth and connect right to his weeping tip.
“eugh, eat more veggies, ’toru. you’re bitter as fuck.” you say with a giggle, swallowing nonetheless as you wipe a hand across your mouth, “thanks for the meal.”
his spirit has certainly ascended, chest heaving and legs jelly from that mind-blowing orgasm. even he takes solace on the headboard, looking down at you with tired eyes.
“but i’m not done,” you truly weren’t, driving satoru to the brink after you’ve milked him to his limit, and yet he wouldn’t have it any other way as he thrusts into you, having had a new burst of energy after seeing your confidence wane once you’ve gotten his dick in you.
it was cute — your words breaking up and staggering as you sink down for the first time after two days, reduced merely to whines as you ride him. gojo lets you have your fun for a bit before he properly flips you over, pressing down on your lower back.
“fuck yourself onto me, baby,” he can tell you’ve missed him too by how you squeeze around him, a sly grin on his face when your hips push back onto him. he sees the tight hold you have on the silk sheets and the soft whimpers leaving your mouth. “good girl . . juuust like that.”
you’re jerking forward when he slaps your ass, letting it ripple from the force of both of his hand and your hips. but he takes over soon enough, grabbing both your arms and pulling you gently off that you’re hanging limply. and even while he does that, he’s still focused on the way your lips spread to accommodate him together with a ring of white at the base of his cock.
“that feel good? huh?” gojo mumbles, loving the way you arch your back and your head lols forward, just letting him do whatever he wants to you. you’re too far gone to even quell the ache in your thighs, too distracted by the wetness of your pussy.
“feel s— s’good, satoru—!” you moan out and like always satoru is indecisive in everything, now tugging you up to rest chest to back. “g’na cum!”
your legs spread more and more as your lover keeps you tightly pressed against him, an arm around your neck and the other, waist. wordlessly, he guides your face to the side, meeting your mouth in a sloppy, drooling kiss and his hips stutter at the way you mewl into his mouth.
“that right, princess?” he asks into your lips, relishing in your face contorting in pleasure. eyes reaching heaven and your mouth parted cutely even more when he props a leg up and his cockhead presses against your cervix ever so lightly.
“y—yeah . .” it’s a mix between a whine and a moan before the only rub of your clit from satoru’s hand sends you reeling and you’re trembling in his hold. you can feel your juices coat his length just as he cums as well, too obsessed with the way your cunt feels aeons better than his pathetic hand. he litters your skin with groans of his own, continue to fuck his cum back into you as you milk him dry with ropes and ropes of semen painting your womb white.
“good little girl,” he hums, and you sigh at the feeling of him cumming again, sensing him removing himself with you with an obscene pop! and you want to continue. you’re already moving your hips yet again, begging with small please’s but the happy-go-lucky song of the dryer interrupts the both of you. you scowl.
gojo laughs into your neck, and you’re left grumbling as he sets you down gently, letting you catch your breath before he presses a kiss to your sweaty cheek.
“i’ll handle it, baby,” satoru made a promise to you and he’ll keep it. he hurriedly pulls his sweatpants over his bottom half, “you just rest up.”
it’s not even two minutes later that you already miss him, trotting over to the laundry room in nothing but his shirt and you just watch as he removes the clothes with a certain tranquillity and delicateness that you’d like to see this sight more often and all you can muster in the moment is your arms around his middle.
and the sweetness of the moment is immediately ruined by gojo, “let’s fuck here. whaddya say?” 
your roommate and lover can only grin when you turn him around to smack him (“it’s!” slap “not!” slap “sanitary!” slap “here!” slap), finally happy everything’s back to normal. satoru simply presses a kiss to your temple.
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After the end - Post-apocalypse Omegaverse AU
Summary - You won't be cornered in your territory and that's final. You begin to make little presents for your trespassers should they dare to enter your woods. Meanwhile, the four alphas find something very interesting...
Tags - Omegaverse (duh), alpha/beta/omega dynamics, non traditional dynamics, all of the 141 are alphas, you're an omega. Eventual smut, dub-con, knotting, mating press, polyamory, alphas love alphas. 141 x reader. The reader is officially a bad ass
Prologue
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You stared down at the nest you had created and suddenly felt disgusted and angry. These alphas have stepped onto your territory and made you react like this. Three years of near bliss, despite the struggles, gone. The anger rolled over you in waves, it boiled your blood to the point you felt hot all over your body.
No. You weren't about to cower in your cabin and let some stupid alphas wander all over your territory. You were going to do something about it. You marched back towards your living room and opened one of the closets on the side of the hallway. You grabbed the bag full of supplies and swung it over your shoulder then looked at the shotgun leaned against the wall.
You hesitated only for a moment before you grabbed it too. Even in the times before the world ended you hadn't been one for conventionality. You preferred to be alone on your own property living your own life. And no alpha or beta, whether back then or now, was going to take this from you. You shoved the extra ammunition into your pockets and unbarred your door.
The cold winter air nipped at your skin and distantly you could still smell their combined scents. You pulled stuffing from a torn apart pillow and stuffed it up your nose. Happy hunting indeed, you thought as you stepped off into your piece heaven that would become their hell.
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"Hey captain," Gaz said as they wandered through the very small town. It had likely been abandoned for ages. The first thing Gaz had noticed was that the windows were smashed in but the doors boarded up. Then he noticed the marks, spray paint in different symbols meaning something or another. "I think this place has been completely stripped bare."
Price hummed thoughtfully and turned to look around at the other buildings. All of them in similar states of disrepair but all with symbols sprayed onto them. He turned to his team, and contemplated their next steps. "Do you think they might still be around?" Ghost spoke up finally.
Price glanced at his lieutenant. They had stuck together when the entire world had completely gone down. First the electricity and then a disease. It apparently didn't take much else to throw the world into chaos. People killed people all the time before but not even Ghost had been prepared for the level of depravity some people dove to. Kidnapping local omegas, killing betas or hunting alphas for sport. Blowing up buildings and ransacking stores.
They had all stuck together as a pack since that was what they had always done. They wandered from place to place and it had taken them a little over a year to make it back to the UK. Bonds grew stronger and their ruts continued. They were all each other's support. Price considered the facts in front of them.
"Negative. I don't think whoever did this is still around," Price said as he eyed the pharmacy. The only building not having been closed off or marked with an 'x'. "Soap, Gaz, go investigate the pharmacy, me and Ghost will try to find any other buildings not marked."
They wandered around the town for a bit with Gaz and Soap meeting back up not long after they had departed. "Over tae counter medicine like Advil but nae much else," Soap tossed Ghost the bottle who looked over it.
"Not expired yet. Good find."
"Wait," Gaz suddenly said and sniffed the air. Everyone paused, Gaz had the best nose of them all. Able to sniff out any scents even days old. He walked over to a telephone pole that had a red smear on it and sniffed with his nose almost on the old blood.
He felt his cock chub up his pants immediately at the scent. At first it smelled like sweat and dirt but underneath that was a tangy, sour then sweet like a granny smith apple or a green grape, scent. An unmistakable smell of omega.
Gaz turned to the three other alphas, "There's an omega around." He grinned.
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Hehe I'm gonna have fun writing this
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Golden Key To The Sweet Life
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Part 2
There was something intoxicatingly endearing about the way Alexia interacted and whole-heartedly cared for her family and friends' children. Not to say you expected anything less, but you had been addicted to seeing it when you first met her and you are still addicted to it, if not more, now that you were a good few years into your relationship with her. Everytime you saw her with another's child, or when she would visit the Barca youth teams, or simply just talk with a young fan who gazed up at her like she was the Queen of the world, something ignited in your heart. Something strangely akin to the feeling of being homesick.
Over the course of your relationship, you two had had countless conversations about having children in the future. However, it was always ended with you both saying 'one day', it was never a concurrent topic. It was a dream, an ideal, never a reality.
But you just could not get it out of your mind anymore; the thought of her with your own children infiltrated your mind everytime you looked at her.
"Ale, I think I would like to have children soon."
It was blurted out whilst you both manuevered around the kitchen as you made a birthday cake for your friend's son and Alexia prepared some other small dishes to take along to his party. You saw the taller woman freeze in your peripheral vision but you were too nervous to look at her, so you continued mixing the ingredients in the bowl, acting as if you hadn't just said the words she'd secretly been thinking recently too. Then, to your surprise, she marched over, took the wooden spoon from your hand, placed it back in the bowl, and tenderly cupped your face.
"What do you mean?" She asked in an odd tone, scarily similar to the one she used when you would argue. It was hushed, flat, low, and slightly strict.
"I, um... I think we should talk about... us having kids together. Soon." You replied, your cheeks red under her hands. Her nostrils flared and her eyes went slightly wide.
"You mean that?" The look in her eyes was almost pleading, and it gave you a bit of hope.
"Yes, I do." You cover her hands with your own. "I really want to at least talk about it, properly, with you. Not right now, but soon. Please."
She stays silent for a few more moments. You both just look at each other wordlessly, but you are frustratingly unable to understand the countless emotions in her eyes right now. That is until she moves suddenly, picking you up and hugging you tightly, burying her face in your neck and releasing a shaky breath. There are words being mumbled into your skin but you can't hear them too well, too busy focusing on the feeling of her around you and the prospect of the future you'd dreamed of since you were young happening sooner than you thought it ever could.
"Ale, I can't hear you." You laugh lightly, but then your breath catches in your throat when she moves her head back to look at you with tears glistening in her eyes. "Oh, Ale."
"Yes, yes, yes. I want children with you, soon, I really do." Alexia whispers as she presses her forehead against yours, her eyes squeezed shut to keep in her emotions. "Nuestros propios hijos pequeños. No se me ocurrió nada mejor." (Our own little children. I couldn't think of anything better.)
That was the moment that decided it all, the moment that sealed and stamped your future. A few months later and you had gone through the early processes of reciprocal IVF. Your individual health screenings had thankfully given positive results that would ensure your plans for the process could go ahead.
It had been a worry for both of you, admittedly more for you, and there had been multiple sleepless nights and midnight discussions to quell your worries. Your decision to carry wasn't one out of convenience for Alexia's career, it was something you were certain on since you had your first thoughts of being a Mother, but that didn't stop Alexia from worshipping the ground you walked on at the selfless decision.
As Alexia had been there to comfort you, listen to you, and reasurre you when you had appointments and insecurities, you were there for her and squeezing her hand during every injection she had, as well as her egg retrieval appointment. She had been worried for quite some time about it, but in the room, she felt quietly excited. All the moments she'd imagined of herself with children of her own felt within reach now. The tears in her eyes weren't from discomfort or pain, they were from hope and excitement of what was to come.
Unfortunately, the first transfer didn't result in a pregnancy. It was heartbreaking of course. You both knew the chances of it working first time weren't that high, but that didn't soften the blow any less. It took about a week before the melancholy lingering in the air of your home left, but after spending crucial time together to come to terms with the news, you were both ready to begin the process again.
This time around, on the 11th day after your second transfer, you woke up with a strange, knowing feeling in your gut. Alexia had left some time ago for morning training, she had woken you up briefly with softly whispered words and a kiss to your forehead, before you fell back to sleep. But as you properly woke up, a thought immediately washed over you. It caused a little bit of anxiety and you probably should have waited until Alexia got home, but you had to find out before you got her hopes up. You bet that she hadn't properly let you in about her heartbreak the first time so you wanted to do everything to prevent her from feeling how you guessed she did.
So, throwing caution to the wind, you went to the medication cupboard and grabbed an emergency box of hCG urine tests before rushing off to the bathroom. You hadn't checked your phone at all this morning, you hadn't eaten or drank anything, you didn't even know what time it was. There was one thought and one thought only that consumed you.
Once you had prepared it all, you set the strip down on the counter and washed your hands. You sat in unbearable silence for about twenty seconds before you heard the front door open. A shocked gasp left your mouth before your hands could cover it and stop the sound.
"Just me, amor!" Alexia called out softly in case you were still asleep.
She headed straight to the kitchen for a snack, not knowing the huge secret you were harbouring just metres away in the downstairs bathroom. You figured there was no escape now, you just had to bite the bullet.
"Alexia, come here please!" You shouted in an unsure, breathless voice, unable to move from your spot on the bathtub rim with a shaking hand over your mouth still.
Alexia frowned at the slightly panicked voice shouting her, so she quickly made her way to the room you were in, chewing through half a mouthful of banana as she went.
"Sí, bebé, estoy aquí, what's wro-" She cut herself off when she noticed you and the test on the counter. Her eyes widen, causing you to panic.
"I am so sorry for doing it without you, I just had a really weird feeling and-"
Alexia shushes your tearful ramble and sits beside you, wrapping one arm around your back and ushering your face into her chest with the other that she places on your cheek.
"No, no, no apologies, I am here now. No apologies, just calm down." She whispers gently as the hand on your back slowly rubs up and down. Her eyes stay wide and focused on the strip on the counter, unsure of how long it's been there but she dispels her anticipation and focuses on you. "You say you felt weird, in what way?"
"I, I don't know, I... I just woke up with a strange feeling in my stomach, like in my gut. I had to do a test, even just one of these ones and not even a proper pregnancy test, I just had to know." You speak anxiously, moving your face back from her chest to wipe at the tears on your cheeks.
"Okay, that's okay. This feeling, is it like a sick feeling or a thought?" Alexia questions, tucking some hair behind your ear.
"A thought, a gut feeling." You sniffle, resting your forehead against her neck.
"Okay. I want you to know I'm not mad or anything like that. I'm just happy to be here with you for this." She reasurres you, pressing a firm kiss against your hairline.
"I am too. But... if it hasn't worked again, I didn't want to disappoint you." You mumble insecurely, fresh tears falling again.
"Hey, no. Don't think that. I could never be disappointed with you, I would only be disappointed with the world. Not you, never you. Never ever. I promise." Alexia responds in a stern but soft voice, squeezing you tight against her.
"Thank you. T'estimo, Ale."
"I love you too, so much." She smiles at you when you look up at her again. Quickly, she kisses you lightly once, before grabbing the box of tests off the counter. "How do we read this? What number means pregnant?"
You grab your phone and get up the screenshot you'd taken minutes earlier of which measurements meant what.
"Twenty-five means pregnant." You show her the image and she reads it carefully, over and over and over, giving you insight into how desperately she wants this.
"How long has it been going?" Alexia asks, her leg beginning to bounce as the nerves creep in.
"Maybe two minutes or more? But I think we should wait a bit longer to make sure whatever the result is is certain." She nodded in agreement and put the box back down, gently using a hand to tilt your chin to look up at her.
"Remember, amor, whatever this result is, it is still early. It has only been eleven days, there is still a chance, okay? If it's good, that's amazing and we will ring the nurse to try and get an earlier blood test. If it's not good, it's okay. We will deal with whatever happens." Alexia softly reminds you, a reminder for her too, to not get too disheartened (though that it is impossible in such a situation).
"I know. I have to be though." You say the last sentence ever so quietly, but Alexia catches it. She has no more words to say though, still so unsure what the 'right' way to go about this new life experience is.
Silence falls over the room, settling heavy over you both as you hold each other and think through your individual prayers to the world in your minds. It's not until Alexia grows impatient that she stands up and takes a deep breath, standing in between your legs and cradling your head.
"I adore you, guapa. Whatever this little thing says, I will still adore you. I will probably love you more after this no matter what the result is." She states.
You nod, tears still present in your eyes, and stand up beside her. With one arm wrapped around each other, you both smile, before turning your attention to the test on the counter. The air is still in the room, the world paused and faded, all the attention on this tiny strip that held the most important information in the world.
"Twenty-three." You mumble dejectedly. Alexia grabs your phone and gets up the screenshot.
"Mira, bebé, it says anything here is a 'grey area', it's still higher than we would expect and we are doing this early. I think that could be good news." Alexia explains shakily. Once you've read through the information on your phone, your head whips around to look up at her. She meets your gaze, a small and positive smile gracing her face. "I do think we should ring the nurse."
"Really?" You choke out with a quivering bottom lip, desperately trying to suppress the wave of hope that washed over you at Alexia's words.
"Yes, really."
"Oh my." You breathe out, knocking your phone out of her hand carelessly as you hug her tightly. "I might be pregnant."
"You might be pregnant." Alexia repeats in a shuddery voice, eyes stuck staring at the small test on the counter that might just have changed her world for the better.
Thankfully, to prevent days of anxious anticipation, the nurse agrees to carry out a blood test the following day. It's a game day for Alexia but luckily it's at home and later in the evening. She could be going into it with the excitement of an expecting mother, or she could be filled with suffocating disappointment. It's a contrast she doesn't want to think about, the game later that evening the last thing on her mind as her hand holds yours tightly on the drive to the appointment.
Her hand doesn't leave yours unless it's absolutely necessary, and even then she's very hesitant. But, as you lay on the bed with a hand over your eyes whilst the other is still held by Alexia, a heavy feeling of dread and doubt settles. The past 24 hours had been overwhelmingly positive; neither of you allowed a moment to think anything negative. Maybe it was naïve to do that, but the prospect of it all was so utterly exhilarating that you hadn't allowed yourselves to think of the next mental steps if it you weren't pregnant.
Now though, you were drowning under the weight of it all. Alexia had noticed, of course she had, but she was suffocated by her thoughts too. There was nothing either of you could say, it was simply just a waiting game.
Waiting, waiting, waiting, the ticking of the clock on the wall being a constant reminder of the meaningful depth of the moment. Time was a precious thing, of course, but right now it felt like the biggest dampener of all.
Neither of you knew how long you had been sitting silently for, plagued by the scale of the event, but then the nurse walks in and announces she has the results, causing you to snap out of your mindset.
"Are you ready to find out?" The nurse asks, offering no hint of emotion.
"No." You whimper almost silently. Alexia turns to you and goes to comfort you immediately, but she's interrupted.
"It's good news."
Your hand falls from your face as you sit up fully, eyes wide and tearful. Alexia can't tear her eyes away from you until you nudge her, bringing her back into the room.
"I can confirm you are indeed pregnant."
Your body collapses in relief and you fall back against the bed, hands covering your face again as you sob happily. Alexia rolls you onto your side and rests her forehead against yours, tears also falling from her too.
"Tienes un bebé ahí dentro, amor." Alexia cries, almost in relief. One of her hands is on top of your head whilst the other rubs up and down your side comfortingly. "Nuestro pequeño bebé. We are a family now."
You both relish in the great news until you calm down enough to allow the nurse to give you advice on ensuring your health is as best it can be for your pregnancy to go as smoothly as possible.
Later that day, when Alexia scored in her league game at the Johan, you shook your head disapprovingly when Alexia surreptitiously rubbed her hand over her stomach whilst gazing at you in the audience as she walked back to her position. Nobody knew about the news, nobody could know for weeks, and Alexia was pushing her luck with the celebration. You couldn't stay angry for too long, never towards Alexia, and all thoughts of irritation were forgotten when, at the end of the game, she ran up the stands, enveloped you in a tight but sweaty embrace, and whispered the most heart-warming words you'd ever heard her say in your life. People gave you puzzled looks when you pulled away from her with tears in your eyes, but that didn't matter. The bubble that the two of you had was perfect.
Alexia took the advice of the nurse a bit too literally. As if she wasn't doing it already, she did everything possible for you. Cooking meals full of the right nutritions, buying the best pregnancy vitamins, trying to do all the house chores herself (you couldn't let that one slide though), and sometimes literally carrying you whenever she could. On a bad day, did it wind you up? Yes, but she had the best intentions and when the hormones weren't overriding your mind, you appreciated every single act of care and kindness from her.
As you got closer to the 7 week mark when you would have your first scan, your anxiety grew tenfold. You were a stickler for doom scrolling, and varying websites and forums had argued a thought that was the root of your worry: the chance of miscarriage was higher with IVF. Alexia of course tried to dispel your concerns, but unfortunately this was one of them things that you just couldn't get over.
So the relief you felt at the first ultrasound when it was confirmed your baby was growing strong and healthily, was overwhelming. And as soon as you heard the heartbeat, you were a goner. Whether it was the hormones or just how much this meant to you, the overjoyed tears didn't stop all day. Leaving the building with a recording of the heartbeat and a strip of ultrasound photos, neither of you can recall a time where you were happier.
Keeping such a huge secret felt impossible. You had told your parents and Alexia had told her Mum and sister a few days after you found out just so you had a support system in case anything went wrong. The senior staff of the team at Barcelona also knew in case Alexia had to put everything on hold in case of an emergency, and it was the same with your work. But other than that, everyone else was none the wiser.
At least, that's what you thought.
"Amor, I have something to admit." Alexia sighed as you both climbed into bed one night during your eighth week of pregnancy.
"Hm?" You hummed, laying down and resting your head on her shoulder.
"Don't be mad." She grimaced, one arm behind her head as she stared up at the ceiling. You frown and hold yourself up on one elbow, your other hand landing on her cheek to turn her face to look at you.
"Tell me. I doubt I'll be mad." You told her softly, and your smile automatically decreases her worries.
"Well, Mapi was the one who helped with my injections whenever I was at training." You nodded affirmatively. "I may have told her... today, at training, that you are pregnant."
"Ale, when are you going to tell me about this geeky smile that hasn't left your face?" Mapi teases her best friend as both of them tidy up the field after training.
"There is nothing, Mapi." Alexia argues, but the aforementioned smile graces her face as she does so.
"Come oooon! Tell me, I think I have a guess, but I want you to say it." Mapi grins, throwing an arm around Alexia's shoulders and nudging her in the ribs.
"I can't tell anyone yet." Alexia mumbles.
"Say it, Ale." Mapi sings in her ear. "I will not tell anyone, I promise."
"You tell anyone and I will kill you, María." Alexia says sternly, standing with her hands on her hips and glaring down at her.
"No, won't tell anyone." Mapi puts on an innocent face as she holds her hands up in surrender.
"Vale." Alexia sighs, looking down at the ground for a moment before turning back to Mapi with the biggest smile she's shown to her. "We are almost eight weeks pregnant."
Mapi screams out of pure excitement and jumps onto Alexia, the taller woman not expecting it which led to them both toppling to the grass in the middle of the empty pitch.
"I knew it!" Mapi shouts, shaking Alexia's shoulders which makes her laugh, pushing Mapi off of her hips so that they lay beside each other. "You are going to be a Mamá!"
"María! ¡Calláte! What did I just say?!" Alexia shushes her desperately, slapping her shoulder.
"You said you're having a baby! I'm gonna be a tía!" Mapi laughs giddily, kicking her legs like a child.
"I should never have told you." Alexia grumbles, crossing her arms over her chest to try and convey a stern, angry look, but it's completely futile.
"I am so happy for you. Nobody deserves this more than you." Mapi rolls onto her side to look at her best friend. "How is she doing?"
"She's so great. So happy. A little bit sick, but handling everything so well." Alexia closes her eyes as she thinks of you and the strip of ultrasound photos hanging on your fridge.
"I have no words, Ale. You both deserve it so much, to be this happy. I'm so proud of you." Mapi states, pushing away her childish side to try and have a proper moment with Alexia.
"I didn't do anything, it's all her." Alexia jokingly deflects, not wanting to get emotional when anyone could walk out and catch them.
"Ay, I didn't stab you at training for nothing." Mapi grins again.
"Sí, I guess." Alexia murmurs with a shy smile. "I am so excited. My own lit-"
"¿Qué están haciendo ustedes aquí?" A voice shouts from the door of the main building.
"Vamos. You both invite me around for dinner soon so we can celebrate and talk more, sí?" Mapi suggests, leaping up and offering a hand to Alexia who nods and stands. "¡Capi va a ser Mamá!"
You tilted your head at Alexia and smiled widely at the adorable story.
"I don't mind, Ale. She's one of your best friends, and she did help us get pregnant, technically." You told her, placing a reasurring kiss to the corner of her mouth. "But that girl cannot keep a secret. I bet Ingrid already knows."
"I knew she would tell Ingrid. But if she tells anyone else I will strangle her." Alexia grumbled with a disapproving look on her face to which you quietly laughed at.
"No you won't. I can't have my baby mama in prison for attempted murder." You joked, poking at her cheek to get her to smile, which you succeeded at.
"You are right. Por supuesto." Alexia whispered, leaning up to meet your lips in a gentle kiss. When she pulled away, she gazed at you so lovingly that it took your breath away. "Venga, lay down and get comfy. You need sleep to look after our chiqui."
You smiled bashfully and lay on your side facing away from her, to which she shuffled up behind you and draped an arm over your side. Her hand settled on your stomach of course, a new gesture you could never get over, so you covered her hand with yours and squeezed it.
"You are going to be the best Mami, Ale." You whispered, Alexia immediately smiling into the back of your neck and placing a few kisses there.
"Tú también." She mumbled, speaking her beliefs whole-heartedly.
Due to Alexia's busy schedule and her understandable defiance to miss an appointment, you both didn't have an aligned day off together for another scan until the fifteenth week of pregnancy. In the past two weeks, you had both told everyone in your life that you were expecting a baby. It was difficult to do since Alexia had to travel a lot, most of the time it was you meeting up with family or friends with Alexia on a FaceTime call, but it was still incredibly special nevertheless.
Today though was an important day; not only a check-up for the baby and yourself, but it would also be the day to found out the gender. You weren't too fussed about finding out or not, but Alexia was not a very patient person, she would plan out every step of her life if she could. So it was an easy decision, you would have the check-up scan, do a blood test, then go about the rest of your day whilst waiting for an email from the nurse.
Seeing the baby much more developed and bigger was of course an emotional moment, nothing in your life so far could compare.
"Míralo, dios mío. Mi bebé." Alexia said quietly, clutching your hand as she gazed at the screen showing the ultrasound. "I am so glad it is just one."
You laughed and shook your head at her comment, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel the same.
"They have your legs, Ale." You smiled softly as you watched your baby kick their legs away on the screen. It wasn't possible to feel yet, but you knew in a few weeks time you would be in endless amounts of pain as the aforementioned legs kicked at you all over.
"They better like football." Alexia stated, again making you laugh.
"If they don't, you can't walk out on me." You warned her teasingly, but she took it too seriously.
"No, never, amor." She frowned, lifting your hand and pressing a firm kiss to the back of it. "They will just have to live with their Mami shouting about it every week."
"By the time they're born, it'll probably be the only sound that soothes them to sleep." You said.
The thought of that makes her smile and she falls into a daydream about it - her baby laying on her chest whilst she watches a football game, dressed in matching Barça shirts, desperately trying to keep her running commentary quiet for the baby and for you who was sleeping in the bedroom, and-
"Okay, let's do the blood tests now."
An hour later and you both were walking around Barcelona, looking at the city you love and where your family would grow. It was a waiting game now, you could get any email any second. Your plan was to wait for it to be sent, then go into a bakery and show the worker the email who would be able to give you some kind of baked treat with either blue or pink in it. Simple, yes, but it would be a moment for just the two of you (and the baker, you supposed) that you would remember forever.
So, some time later when Alexia's phone pinged with the email notification and she confirmed who it was from, you both smiled excitedly and immediately began heading towards the bakery. You picked up the small cake, thanked the baker who congratulated you many times, before heading home.
Once you were in the comfort of your own kitchen, you grabbed a fork each and sat down at the island, unable to keep your eyes off each other.
"Whatever it is, I am so happy to be doing this with you." Alexia states softly, taking your free hand and holding it tight on top of the counter.
"There's no one I'd rather do it with." You respond matter-of-factly.
"Me too." Alexia murmurs, raising your hand to her mouth so she could kiss your ring finger. "Ready?"
"Yes, come on, let's do it!" You urge her excitedly, unable to contain yourself.
"Vale, vale." Alexia laughs. "I count down from tres, sí?" You nod, a nervous smile on your face. "Tres... dos... uno."
Both of you dig your forks into the cake, cutting a chunk out to reveal that it's-
"¡Chiquitita!" Alexia shouts, jumping up from her chair. You grin at the news and at her reaction, but rather than reacting like Alexia, you simply eat the forkful of cake. "Bebíta, why are you not excited? We are having a baby girl!"
"I am excited, but I have cake in front of me, I'm not gonna just let it sit there." You say, to which she laughs and comes over to wrap her arms around your neck from behind. "A little girl, hey?"
"Sí, una niña pequeña." Alexia sighs happily, tears in her eyes as she rested her forehead on your shoulder. "I can't believe it. It feels a bit more real now."
"It was very real for me when I was throwing up every morning." You scoff, Alexia laughing again. "I get what you mean though. It feels different now that we know it's a girl. She."
Alexia hums in agreement, smiling when you offer her a forkful of cake. She accepts it and nods approvingly at it, making you grin again.
"What is that thing people say? When they have a baby and they want it to be a footballer? I think it is... project Putellas."
"Well, if she wants to be a footballer, she literally has the best person in the world to learn from." You tease, raising your free hand that wasn't devouring the small cake to rest on her forearm. "You just might want to start off by differentiating between an actual football and the shiny gold ones on display in the lounge. I have no doubt a small and excitable toddler who has a Mami kicking football around the house all day will find a golden ball very fascinating."
"I will make sure. But she can kick them all she wants, I will just get my revenge when she wins one in the future." Alexia grins, making you giggle as you squeeze her arm. "If she doesn't like football, I will only be upset for a tiny bit of time. I would just want her to be happy of course."
"She'd still go to every one of your games and would want to go with you when you aren't playing. Just like you and your Papi." You remind her gently, to which she smiles a little sadder this time, but nevertheless hums in acknowledgement.
"Ah... she. I cannot believe it." Alexia slides one hand down to rest on your ever-growning yet still small stomach. There was a bump, but in the majority of your clothes it wasn't quite visible yet.
"Now we have to start thinking of names." You say, finally turning your attention away from the cake and spinning around in the chair to face her. She groans and pulls you to stand up, then taps the back of your thighs to urge you to jump into her arms, to which you do. "What's up with you?"
"Names is the hardest part." She grumbles, leading you to the bedroom where she places you down gently on the bed before cuddling up next to you.
"Well, get thinking, guapa. We have a little girl on the way!"
At the 24 week mark, you both decide it's time to announce it to the rest of the world. It's been amazing having it be a secret purely between you and the people you love most, but your bump is getting a bit more noticeable now and you want to be able to go out without covering up so much.
Alexia posted a simple picture to her social media of the baby's cot in the nursery, along with a tiny Barcelona shirt in it of course, and tied it off with the most recent ultrasound photos set beside the jersey. She wasn't one for sharing much of her private life, so that's all she gave. No date, no gender, no confirmation of how far along you were, and to some people it wasn't even clear if it was you or Alexia who was pregnant. The media's reaction was funny to sit back and watch as you lay in bed together that night, and it made to be even more entertaining when Alexia told you she had been lightly scolded by the club for the lack of context, but her argument was that people should know she wouldn't be playing if she was pregnant. This social media speculation was followed by a post from Barcelona making it clear that Alexia wasn't pregnant, putting all the rumours to bed at the expense of the Barca PR management who had possibly grown a few more grey hairs after the whole fiasco. But it was funny to watch and it made for a great memory, you wouldn't have it any other way.
Now, the baby has started moving more, so much so that Alexia can feel it when she holds her hands against your bump. From the moment you first told her you could feel the baby moving, she had desperately wanted to feel it too. There was a worry in the back of her mind that she wouldn't bond with her baby like a second parent figure should, considering she wasn't the one carrying. Even though the baby would genetically be hers due to the type of IVF you chose, you would bond with the baby on a whole other level that she wouldn't experience.
So, she was desperate to feel the baby move against her hand because it would be her first chance of physically experiencing the baby, unlike you who had been through that from the early days of pregnancy with the typical early-stage symptoms. When she did, when she felt the first tiny but powerful kick against her, she immediately began to cry. She didn't really clue you in on why she had such an intense reaction, not that you discredited it of course, but you had an inkling that it meant much more to her than she would ever admit.
It was rare for pregnancy to be so smooth-sailing though. As the weeks went on and your baby girl grew bigger and stronger, all whilst the both of you remained healthy, it was like the doubtful and anxious thoughts slowly left. Until you noticed something.
You were sat at dinner with your friends before all of you were due to watch Alexia and the team play a Copa De La Reina game at the Johan. You were taking a backseat from the conversation for a few minutes when a frightening realisation hit you. You frowned, holding your hands against various places on your bump, looking for a major sign that you hadn't felt in... how long? You couldn't even remember. And that was when it felt like your heart stopped.
"Chica, ¿estás bien?" Your friend asked quietly from beside you, thankfully nobody else taking notice.
"Yeah. I... I don't know." You answered shakily, hands unmoving from your stomach as you closed your eyes tight to concentrate.
"¿Es el bebé? ¿Qué ocurre?" She questioned in hushed tone.
"I... I can't feel her move." You mumbled, trying to suppress the tears already brewing. "I... she's normally moving all the time. But I haven't felt her move... at all today."
"Vale, vale. You want to go to the bathroom, somewhere private?" She suggested, to which you nodded desperately. "Okay. Let's go."
You both stand up, you still in your panicked daze as she comes up with a reason for you both to be excused, before quickly leading you to the individual bathroom at the back of the restaurant.
"I'm scared." You admitted to her, hands still firmly planted on your lower stomach where the baby normally would kick.
"It's okay, tell me what's wrong, yeah?" Your friend said, her hands on your shoulders to try and keep you grounded.
"I was just sat there and then, then I realised my baby hasn't, I haven't felt her move for a while. And now I can't remember the last time she moved. I was really tired yesterday and normally before I go to sleep she starts kicking a lot, but I don't think she did it last night because I fell asleep really quickly when her kicking usually keeps me up for a while and now-"
"Ay, calm down, chica. Take some breaths, do it with me, you need to calm down." You nodded and began to do as instructed, easing your breathing but not your anxiety. "What would you like to do? Don't feel like a burden, this is your baby you're talking about and if you are worried about her health then you must do whatever you feel you need to do to ensure she's safe."
"I... I need to talk to Ale. But she has an important game, I-"
"Alexia would want you to tell her. Forget her work, this is family. This is her little girl too, she would never play football again if it meant you and your baby were safe. Wouldn't she?" You nodded reluctantly, the tears now falling uncontrollably. "Sí. Will she be at the stadium yet?"
"Um..." You got your phone out to check the time, seeing a text from the woman mentioned who confirmed she was at the stadium without you even asking. "Yes, she's there."
"Okay, chica, I could drive you to the nurse now and you call her in the car, or I drive you to the stadium so you can be with her. Whatever you prefer, sí? Anything."
You forgot the rest of the world around you outside this one bathroom, possible solutions and outcomes passing by so quickly and convoluted it was almost impossible to land on one. Was it serious enough to pull Alexia out of a game? Were you just overthinking? Or could this be a genuine problem with the baby?
Ultimately, this was not a risk you could take.
"I need Ale. I need to talk to her." You decided, focusing on your breathing again to try and quell the nausea your anxiety was causing.
"Okay, I will drive you to the stadium. You take the keys and go straight to my car, I will tell everybody else that the plans are cancelled."
From that moment on, it's like your mind goes into shock. Everything is a distant blur, even the feeling of Alexia's arms wrapped tightly around you and Eli and Alba's hands on your back when you meet them at the stadium. You give a stuttered explanation to them, which makes Alexia's heart drop and she squeezes you tighter. She whispers words of comfort and reassurance of course, but if someone held a gun to your head and forced you to recount what she said, you'd be screwed. For all you knew, she could have said anything in the world, and you'd have no idea.
Eli and Alba drove you to the hospital whilst you and Alexia sit in the backseat, no words exchanged (or at least that's what you remember). The cityscape passed by fast as you stared blankly out the window, the moment feeling so surreal it felt as if you were living a nightmare. Your hand clutched tightly onto Alexia's, the only feeling that kept you in touch with reality as every memory you have so far of your unborn child played out in your head like a montage straight out of a film.
Images of you and Alexia in the bathroom with the test strip, you both at the blood test finding out you were 100% pregnant, having the first scan, telling your loved ones, finding out it was a little girl-
She doesn't even have a name.
She can't slip away without a name. That's unfair.
She cannot be taken away from you before you have even met her. Is the world that cruel?
"Amor, we are here." Alexia's hand leaves yours to brush away a few tears you hadn't even realised were falling. "How do you feel?"
"How... how am I supposed to feel?" You reply, almost in a whimper, and Alexia immediately understands what you mean.
"I know." Is all she says, unbuckling your belt for you.
"We will wait here." Alba smiles reasurringly at you, squeezing your knee then Alexia's.
"No hay mal que por bien no venga." Eli states, and that ignites a tiny spark of hope inside of you. (Every cloud has a silver lining.)
Hand in hand, you and Alexia walk into the Maternity ward and explain the situation to the receptionist who tells you again and again that the right thing to do was come in for a check-up. Alexia guides you over to some seats, her eyes constantly searching over your face as her arm wraps around your shoulders.
"I love you." Alexia whispers the only words she can think of right now, because what else is there to say?
She kisses your forehead before letting you tuck your face into her neck, and that's how you stayed the whole time waiting. Just in each other's arms, knowing that you had each other no matter the result of the day. The rest of the world went away; the confines of the hospital, the endless electrical sounds of machines and technological devices, people walking back and forth down the corridors, the sound of doors opening and closing, everything slithered away until it was just the two of you. No thoughts about anything else - football, family, media - solely just the two of you in this white sterile room, waiting on news that would shatter your world or paint it gold.
When your name was finally called, some unknown amount of time later, you shared a glance with Alexia, both of you holding an elixir of emotion in your eyes, before following the midwife to a patient room.
Again, you explained the situation to her whilst Alexia sat on a chair in the corner of the small room, the taller woman fidgeting anxiously as she can't be beside you to hold your hand. The midwife explained that she would do a number of tests on you first to ensure you are healthy, before doing an ultrasound for the baby.
Alexia watches with tears in her eyes as your tests are done, feeling somewhat relieved to hear there is nothing wrong with your health. Though her dread increases tenfold when the midwife brings out the ultrasound, and due to it not being a purpose-built ultrasound room, there is no large TV screen for her to see. It's only a small screen for the midwife to view, which makes her feel even more ill if that was possible. She subtly takes a few deep breaths to control herself and the nausea plaguing her whilst the midwife sets up the small machine and spreads the gel on your lower stomach.
The seconds leading up to the probe being pressed against your skin seemed to stretch indefinitely, like the laws of time bent just to purposely suspend the moment more. She held her breath, hands clenching and unclenching on her thighs as her eyes focused on you, her heart poised on the edge of a cliff between joy and utter despair. Every moment of her life so far felt like it had been built up just for this one moment here, like some sick trick of fate, until-
"And there is your baby girl, her little heart beating away happily."
There she was on the sonogram screen, perfectly fine, just getting on with her life like she hadn't caused the single most panic and fear either of you had ever felt, the tiny being causing a whirlwind of emotions before she was even born.
You broke out into deliriously relieved laughter, head thrown back against the bed as tears fell, whilst Alexia put her face in her hands and cried silently.
"Ale, come here." You plead, looking at her broken figure in the corner of the room.
Alexia instantly jumps up from her chair and goes over to you, cradling your face and ushering mumbled and scattered words of affirmation and reassurance. You both break indefinitely more when your baby's heartbeat echoes through the room, almost like her way of announcing herself and saying: 'I'm here to stay!'
The midwife explains that the reason for not feeling her move is because your placenta is positioned at the front of your stomach, meaning little girl is moving against that which subdues the feeling. But, you rest assured, because you both leave the hospital with a new and stronger recording of her heart beat and some updated photos of her. Eli and Alba spot you both heading back to the car with huge, relieved smiles on your faces so they jump out of the car to greet you. You can tell from the way Alexia deflates into her Mother's arms that the day had exhausted her just as much as it had you, and that plants a seed of doubt in your mind.
Alexia notices this as you both sit in the back of the car on the way back to the stadium, a frown forming on her face as she squeezes your hand.
"Why are you sad, amor?" She whispers to make sure only you hear it. You shake your head and look out the window, now a little embarrassed about the whole day. "Tell me, please."
"I just feel ridiculous. I pulled you out of your game for no reason." You mutter, humiliation settling in your chest.
It wasn't just Alexia who you had disrupted, it was her family, your friends, the whole of the Barça team and staff, their fans, and so many other people around the world who had been left disappointed and confused as to why she had suddenly pulled out of the match day squad. You let your anxieties get to you and ruined what was meant to be a good day for you and many other people.
"No. You had every reason to be worried. And I am so relieved you told me so that all three of us could be there for you. It is so important that you did that, no matter if the baby is healthy after all." She raises your hand to her mouth so she could kiss it softly, before placing it on your thigh and covering it with both of hers. "The fact you dropped everything and focused on our daughter is already a sign of an amazing mother. You both are so much more important than any game of football - league game, cup game, champions league final or world cup. I would do anything to make sure you are both safe, and that's what you did. As soon as you noticed something could be wrong, you did everything to keep her safe and find out she is healthy. I could never thank you enough for that."
She squeezes your hand periodically as her wide eyes assisted her in getting her point across - there was layer after layer of love present in them and when she looked at you like that, you could never doubt her.
"I really was worried. For like two weeks straight, she's been moving and wriggling in there constantly. And then all of a sudden she stops, I didn't feel a thing. Not even hiccups. It was terrifying." You say shyly, Alexia nodding in understanding. She goes to say something, but stops herself when Eli starts.
"Trust me, chiqui, I am proud of you. Ale is right, you are already displaying amazing habits of a good madre. You did the right thing and we are all so proud of you and happy that you spoke up about it. We would do anything if it meant my hija en lay y nieta pequeña were safe and healthy."
Is there any higher praise than that from a great mother already? That meant the world to hear from Eli. It almost entirely dissipated the regret you felt. You did the right thing.
"Mami is right. You are part of this family now." Alba adds, Alexia gazing at you proudly.
"Grácies, us estimo a tots." You reply confidently in Catalan, hoping it conveyed how grateful you were for them all.
Unbeknownst to you, that day plagued Alexia for almost two weeks. She thought about it every night before she went to sleep even when you were in her arms, she thought about it during training, when she stepped on the pitch, but she suppressed it. You had so much to focus on and worry about, you were growing a human for heaven's sake, she had to be strong for you and show that you can rely on her when you need it.
But, that all came falling down one night.
She had one bad game, missed one penalty, and it destroyed the demeanor she'd worked so hard on building. They didn't even lose the game, they drew 1-1 with the chance of bettering themselves for the second leg a week later, but no words could be said to make her feel any better.
The moment the final whistle blew, her face remained stoic and free of emotion. It remained that way in the changing rooms, when she met you and her family after the game, on the drive home, and all through her nightly routine. It killed you to see her like this, knowing in her mind she was reducing herself to something so miniscule and inadequate, you had to at least try and get through to her.
"Ale?" You whisper as you lay beside her on your side. She's in the same position but facing away from you, and you know it's another attempt at keeping the world locked out of her mind. "Alexia, talk to me. What do you need?"
"Estoy bien, vete a dormir." Alexia mumbles, lightly squeezing your hand that rested on her waist.
"No. Look at me, Ale." You demand gently, pulling on her hip so that she lays flat. She averts her eyes away from you, but you notice that they are bloodshot red, like she'd been silently fighting off tears. "What's going on in that mind of yours?"
"I... uh, maybe... maybe a lot." She chokes out, resting her forearm over her eyes, her final attempt at fighting this losing battle on her own.
"Let me in." You urge her, taking her wrist and moving her arm away. "Come on. Tell me what's wrong."
"There... there is too much." Alexia says, almost in a whimper. "There is so much happening in my head."
"We can try and unpack it, hey? You're not going to be able sleep like this, you never do, so let's try and sort through some of your worries." You sit up against the head board and move her so that her head rests on your thigh. You recognise that she needs a few moments to collect herself, so you let her do that, silently combing a hand through her hair until she was ready.
"Well, first, I played like shit." She chuckles in spite of herself, making you smile sadly and lean down, despite the awkward angle and your bump, to place a kiss on her temple. "But... I can't change that now. That... it caused me to feel like this, but I'm not really thinking about that anymore."
"What are you thinking about, my love?"
"I... the baby." She sighs, bringing a hand up to her face as she turned to hide in your leg.
"What about her?" You probe carefully, your free hand subconsciously falling to your bump.
"We thought... we thought we lost her."
That statement breaks her, her first time saying it out loud, and now her body shakes as broken sobs rip through her.
"I know, Ale, I know." You shift back down the bed so that you can hold her. She tucks her face into the space between your neck and shoulder as her tears wet the pillow. The arm of yours she wasn't laying on wrapped around her, holding her tight against you, turning to place kisses under her ear. "She's okay, we saw her and heard her, she's healthy. In fact, I can feel her wiggling around in there. Here, give me your hand." She leans back so that she can see you place her hand over where the baby was moving at the side of your stomach. You pause for a few moments, Alexia waiting with bated breath, desperate to feel her daughter once more. "Oh, there she goes!" You smile brightly as a hard kick hits against Alexia's hand, who laughs breathlessly at it. "See? She's alright, isn't she? If you listen closely, you can hear her saying 'Mírame, Mami, I'm okay! Don't cry!'"
Alexia laughs again, though it sounds more like a choked sob, and buries her face back into your neck.
"You..." Alexia breathes out, smiling again when she feels another kick. "You are both perfect."
"Mm, I think you're pretty great too." You tease, nuzzling your cheek against her hair. "Is there anything else you're worried about?"
"Y-yeah." She mutters, her thumb stroking over your skin. "There's just so many worries I have. Not about her, not really, but... what if I'm not good enough?"
You'd be lying if you said you weren't shocked to hear that. And it breaks your heart.
"Ale, look at me." You place a hand on her cheek when she moves away to meet your eyes. "Why do you think you won't be good enough?"
"I can be a mess. I get frustrated easily and I have no idea how to care for myself, how can I care for a tiny, innocent baby?" She spits the words out like she's disgusted at herself and it's almost unbearable to hear.
"Alexia, you are being unfair to yourself." You state, hearing her sigh frustratedly. "I can be a mess too, I get angry too, you're only human, Alexia. You know how to take care of me, you do it so well, no one has ever treated me better than you do. You have so much love to give and I cannot wait to see you become a parent. I wouldn't want to have children with you if I didn't think you were good enough. In fact, I think you're going to be an amazing parent. Every step along the way already, through my pregnancy and the process of getting pregnant, even before that, I knew you were going to be great. And that belief only grows stronger whenever I see you with other children, like Mateo or my friends' kids. I don't have a single doubt about you, not one."
"But what if I don't bond with her?"
"Love." You sigh, holding a firm kiss against her forehead. "You will. I know I'm the one carrying her, but she's your baby just as much as mine. She's got all your genetics, of course you're going to bond with her." You poke her in the side teasingly, pulling a half-hearted chuckle from her. "I know she will adore you so much. She'd be crazy not to. You do realise you're gonna be the cool parent out of us two?"
"What?" She asks humourously.
"You're definitely the cooler parent out of us, think about it! Imagine her seeing you play football on TV every week, people with your name on their shirts, whole stadiums chanting your name, trophies and medals all around the house, she's gonna go to school and be like 'My Mami is famous!'" You grin whilst speaking, delighted to her Alexia laugh like she normally does.
"Stoooop." She groans, but you know it's in good nature. Another sigh leaves her lips, but this time it's a little less heavy and a bit more content. "You will be cool too."
"Thanks." You laugh and from that you feel her smile into your skin. "Do you feel a little better, cariño?"
"Sí. You are magic." Alexia responds, her head a lot less clouded. Now, it's filled with pictures of her little family of three, and it cheers her up more than anything ever has. "I love you. Thank you for... for everything, amor. Seriously."
You roll back onto your side, Alexia doing the same, and your hand falls to her neck. Your foreheads rest against each other, Alexia's hand still lingering on your bump, and you smile at the lighter look in her eyes.
"You don't have to be strong all the time. You can let go- you need to let go sometimes." You remind her, and when she goes to reply to that, you speak before she can as you know what she's going to argue. "Ah, no, I'm not hearing it, I know what you were going to say. And it's not true, it's not fair on you. I'm your partner after all, Ale. Yes, I'm carrying a baby, but that doesn't lessen any of your problems. I will always have time for you, Alexia, whatever you need, whenever you need it."
Alexia finally backs down and allows your words to mend the cracks in her mind, getting rid of that doubtful devil on her shoulder.
"Thank you. Just... thank you." Alexia mutters, seemingly allowing her post-match exhaustion to overpower her.
"Anytime, I promise. Now get some sleep, alright? You've kept me awake past my bedtime, even little one has stopped her night-time kicking now." You joke, glad to see she mirrors the smile you have and her body relaxes, the tension from the match and the past weeks finally leaving her. "Te amo. Siempre."
By the time June came around, Barça had basically wrapped up every single competition, it being yet another clean sweep for the record-breaking team. That included the Champions League, to which you had to almost force Alexia to go out and celebrate with her team, your argument being that it would be the last chance she got before her life was filled with baby bottles and diapers instead of shot glasses and night clubs.
It was fortunate that the team had done what they did when they did, because it was like once the clock struck midnight of the month of June, your baby girl had decided she'd had enough of her comfy little home and wanted to see what the real world was like. One minute, you were using the bathroom in the middle of the evening at home, the next minute you were in a patient gown on a hospital bed clutching Alexia's arm with one hand and some gas and air with the other.
There were thirteen hours between your waters breaking and the first cry of your daughter. Alexia had tears in her eyes the moment you stepped into the hospital room, but that was nothing compared to the tears that fell like a waterfall when your baby was placed on your chest. She rested her temple against yours and gazed down at the tiny being that you both had created. In her mind, she knew there was no better sight.
Once the initial check-ups were done for both you and your daughter, the business calmed down and it allowed for Alexia to hold her for the first time. Your little girl weighed a mere 6 pounds 11 ounces, but those numbers didn't do it justice - she looked miniscule in the arms of Alexia.
"Hi." Alexia croaked out in a tearful voice, making sure her arms were steady and that her little girl was positioned correctly. Yet to have her first sleep, the baby's brown eyes stared widely up at her Mami.
"Suits you." You commented tiredly, thoroughly exhausted but there was no way you could rest right now when this sight was beside you. You wouldn't miss it for the world.
"Bon día, A-" Alexia glances up at you briefly. "Are we still choosing that name? I think it's perfect for her."
"Yes. So perfect." You smile at your two favourite people.
"Bon día, little Anaís." Alexia whispers, using the back of her index finger to run it ever-so-gently along her daughter's cheek.
It's such a sacred moment for Alexia, like it would be for any parent, as she cradles her new little bundle of joy against her chest. Being able to put a face to the name you'd chosen a few months ago now, putting a face to the offender of the brutal blows her Mama had been subjected to for two months, and finally bonding with her child - it was all overwhelming in the best way possible.
The weight of her daughter in her arms brought a greater comfort than anything in her life. Every tiny feature, from the delicate curve of her little button nose to the hands that fidgeted delicately against Alexia's chest, is a glorious sight to behold. Alexia feels her heart grow impossibly bigger as she traces the outline of Anaís' face with trembling fingertips, already trying to commit every detail to her memory.
You watch along in silent awe, your eyes glistening with unshed tears at the sight you'd been desperate to see for so long. There is so much admiration and wonder in Alexia's eyes, and you felt your love for the two humans in front of you reach limits you never thought it could.
"Come here." You say, shuffling over to one side of the bed and patting the free space now available. Alexia nods, eyes unmoving from the baby in her arms, and moves slowly and carefully to lay next to you. "Oh, look at her, Ale."
"You did amazing, amor. So strong and so incredible. Look what you did." Alexia praises you and kisses your forehead for what must be the thousandth time that day. You smile and lean your head to rest on her shoulder, one of your hands coming to rest on the back of Anaís' head. "Our little chiqui. Dios mío, she is so small."
"I can't believe those tiny feet almost broke my ribs." You say, giggling along with Alexia as she laughs too and holds both of Anaís' feet in the palm of her hand.
"I love her already." Alexia states, able to stroke one thumb over both of her feet.
"Me too." You hum, adjusting the small knitted hat that covered her head. "She has your eyes."
"Mm, those are definitely Putellas eyes." Alexia grins, gasping quietly when Anaís' tiny fist curls around her pinky finger. "Amor, mirar."
"I see." You watch the interaction in awe, feeling so blessed in this moment. "I told you she would adore you. She's so at peace with you."
Alexia smiled tearfully in reply as Anaís' eyes slowly fluttered shut in her arms.
"I adore her too." Alexia whispers, then she turns to look at you. "Thank you for giving me the greatest gift of all. I'm so proud of you. So so proud."
You smile bashfully at her words and turn to hide your face in her shoulder, stifling a yawn. The exhaustion was really hitting you now, but who in their right mind would pass up a moment like this?
"Thank you for being the best partner I could ask for. I wouldn't have gotten through it without you." You mumble into her jumper, wrapping a hand around her upper arm and settling down more.
"We must dress her in the Barcelona onesie when we take her home." Alexia states with a smug smirk, causing you to laugh and shake your head a little.
"There's no point even arguing, is there?" You say, giggling when she hums a polite no. "Fine, I'll allow it."
"We have to teach her early, amor." Alexia argues.
"Of course we do." You say sarcastically, a yawn slipping out of you.
"You can rest now. I will take the first shift, hm? You sleep as much as you can." Alexia suggests, glad to see you nod. "Want me to stay here?" You nod once more, and a content smile settles on her face. "I love you, rest well."
It takes a little while for you to fall asleep, not able to get fully comfortable as you harbour a lot of pain and achiness, but you eventually do and it warms Alexia's heart to see. Anaís had fallen asleep too, taking her first ever nap in her Mami's arms, and Alexia doesn't think she's ever felt such peace.
She takes the opportunity to photograph the occasion with a selfie of the three of you, before sending it to various people: Eli and Alba, your family, your closest friends, and lastly her teammates who were currently at training. They must have all seen it at the same time as her phone immediately started blowing up at the influx of overjoyed messages. Each one is filled with so much love and delight for you both, and that paired with the messages from Eli and Alba cause her to tear up once again. She wasn't sure how she had any tears left to be honest, it had been an emotional day and it seemed like it wasn't ending anytime soon.
The next day, after getting the all-clear, you were allowed to take Anaís home for the first time. Eli and Alba had been there waiting, making sure the house was tidy and cosy so that you and your little family could live as stress-free as possible (if that was a thing with a newborn) whilst you adjusted to your new way of life.
You settled on the sofa beside Alexia's mother as the now-abuela held her granddaughter for the first time. The look on Alexia's face as she placed a sleeping Anaís in her arms was one you'd never forget. It was priceless, there was so much pride present in her eyes and you were so glad for her sake that Alba was filming the moment. Next, it was Alba's turn to hold her, who also shed a few tears when she held onto Anaís for the first time, joking that she was glad she put no makeup on otherwise her mascara would stain the soft white blanket wrapped around the baby. Unexpectedly, as Alba cradled your daughter and conversed quietly with Alexia, Eli shuffled closer to you and hugged you tenderly, whispering the sweetest words you'd ever heard from her into your ear. There were so many core memories being created at once it was near impossible to keep up with everything, but you realised in a quiet moment in the middle of it all that you had finally achieved the life you wanted. This was it; you'd done it.
You stayed in your social media free bubble for a week, until you and Alexia decided it was time to confirm what everyone thought anyway. It was the same day that Barça had their penultimate Liga F game, the first game for the club since Anaís was born. As there would only be more speculation when Alexia wouldn't be named in the match day squad, both of you and the club decided today would be the best day to do it. When you were pregnant, you made an agreement that Alexia would continue playing until the baby was born, where she would take however long she wanted off to be with you and your daughter. And in the end, that agreement worked out perfectly.
So, Alexia posted yet another simple photo to her social pages, this time a selfie of her exhausted smile and the back of Anaís' head as she slept on her chest, the little girl of course adorning the Barça jersey featured in the initial pregnancy announcement photo. She did caption it this time, writing 'Nueva mascota del Barça' meaning Barcelona's new mascot, followed by two red and blue love hearts. You smiled when you saw the online reaction, sitting and scrolling through it whilst you fed Anaís and Alexia napped on the sofa beside you.
Throughout the week that followed, you both thought it was time to allow people outside your immediate family to visit. That meant that almost everyday there were new guests over. The most excitable one was of course Mapi, it was hard to keep her calm and quiet enough to let her hold Anaís but once the baby was in her arms, she immediately fell silent as she simply admired her. You, Alexia, and Ingrid all shared shocked looks at the scene in front of you.
"Buena, Ingrid, there is your solution to her constant talking." Alexia joked with a grin, making Ingrid roll her eyes.
However, Mapi's reply caught everybody off guard.
"Sí, elskling, we will talk about it later."
You had to hold back the laugh that threatened to burst out when Ingrid and Alexia's eyes widened so much that they almost popped out of their head. It would only be a matter of time before those two had children anyway, you secretly knew it. Anytime one of their friends announced they were having children, you could see the desire for the same thing in their eyes grow everytime. Whether they both knew they felt the same or not, you definitely could picture it in their near future.
Alexia missed the final game of the season too of course, but with it being a home game at the Johan, you urged her to go and watch it so that she could be part of the post-game presentations and celebrations. She was reluctant to do so, she hadn't really left your side for long since before you gave birth, but the smile on her face as she got ready to leave let you know you'd made the right decision.
"Say bye-bye to your chiqui." You say quietly, presenting a sleeping Anaís to Alexia where she was waiting to say goodbye at the front door. She smiles brightly and wraps an arm around you, looking down at your daughter's face that seemed to change everyday.
"Adiós mi niña, volveré pronto." Alexia whispers, leaning down to press a very light kiss to her forehead. "And you, I will be back as soon as I can."
"I'll be okay, Ale." You giggle, Alexia grinning and hugging you into her side. "Enjoy it. Promise me you'll make the most of it?"
"Eh, I will, but I don't want to be out too long." She shrugs a shoulder, leaning down to kiss you softly.
"Why not?" You wonder with a frown, and from that Alexia can spot the speckles of insecurity in your eyes.
"Because I just want to be with you and Anaís. I'm not worried about leaving you with her, not at all, but there's nothing better than being with you both at home. I love it." Alexia admits, washing away any doubts you had and replacing them with the most adorable confession. "It's true. I will be gone for only a few hours but I will miss you both so much."
You gaze up at her, your heart so full, and lean up to peck her lips softly.
"We will miss you too." You tell her, watching on adoringly as Alexia raises a hand and gently takes hold of one Anaís' tiny hands. The difference in size is so big that it's absolutely adorable, making you smile and lean your head into Alexia's neck.
"Mi familia perfecta." Alexia murmurs, stroking her thumb over Anaís tiny fingers and kissing your forehead. "I don't want to leave."
"We'll be right here when you get back. Go celebrate you and your team, it was another amazing season and they'll want to catch up with you. We've kept you locked up here long enough." You joke, Alexia smiling and shaking her head.
"They won't want to know about me, I will just get a million questions about you and Anaís."
"We both know you'd happily sit there for hours talking about me and Anaís, it's all you do." You catch her out, but she just shrugs and smirks.
"Why would I want to talk about anything else?" She says smugly, but she means it genuinely. You are the best things in her life. "But fine. I guess I will go. If anything happens, please ring me immediately?"
"Yes, Ale." You roll your eyes and kiss her quickly once more. "Now go. Alba will be here any minute, I'll be okay."
"I know you'll be okay. Love you." Alexia smiles, opening the door but lingering in the doorway as she stares at you lovingly.
"I love you too. You look beautiful." You tell her, smiling humourously when a light blush covers her cheeks.
"This is what I look like when I can shower and I'm not covered in baby sick, if you remember." She winks.
"I remember it very well." You smirk, stifling a laugh when she grins knowingly. "Now go, you'll be late."
She puts on a very dramatic sad frown and steps out of the house backwards, turning around just as Alba pulls up and presses her horn.
"Alba! Anaís is sleeping, are you stupid?" Alexia snaps quietly at her sister who jumps out of her car with a grin.
"She's still asleep, stop stalling and go." You tease, ushering her away with one hand as Alba skips over and completely disregards Alexia in search of you and Anaís.
"Where is my favourite sister with my favourite baby?" She grins, shoving past her actual sister and walking straight over to you.
"Nice to see you too, Alba." Alexia grumbles, though there is a tiny hint of a smile on her face as she watches you three.
"Have fun at your game, Tata." Alba waves behind her dismissively and embraces you carefully, kissing your cheek before turning to Anaís. "Hola, belleza. Oh, she is so cute."
"Alexia, you're gonna be late." You laugh as she comes over to join you, standing behind you and Alba and wrapping an arm each around your shoulders.
"But this is so much better." She groans. "I have been to plenty trophy celebrations, what is one more?"
"That's so humble of you, Ale." You scoff jokingly, grinning at the disapproving look on her face and kissing her cheek.
"Mami will be mad if you stand her up, Tata. Now go. Angry Mami is scarier than you when you are angry."
That seems to shift Alexia into gear as she begrudgingly pulls herself away from the mini group hug and walks with a childish pout on her face back to the door. You wave at her as she walks out and she blows a quick kiss at you before closing the door gently behind her.
Alba kindly offers to look after Anaís so that you can take a relaxing bath before the match kicks off, and afterwards you feel ten times more refreshed and calm. When you're finished, you join her on the sofa and chat with her whilst Anaís sleeps peacefully in the space between you both. You feel completely content there, catching up with Alba whilst your baby snoozes away and Barcelona score what seems like goal after goal. Every so often, the broadcast will show Alexia sat in the stands and you have an inkling that she's overcome with the same feeling you have as she sits there calmly with a hint of a smile on her face instead of the stormy and stoic look she normally wears whilst watching a game.
Once the match ends, the players celebrate on the pitch for a little whilst the ceremony gets prepared. Various awards from the season are given out, Alexia receiving a few as expected, but what you don't expect is the large hamper of baby supplies and other things such as clothes or sweets treats that is handed to her. She laughs at it and holds it up in front of the camera for a photo, but underneath the mask for the camera you can see the pride in her eyes and the utter joy on her face at the acknowledgement given to her.
"Did you know about that?" You ask Alba, who grins slyly at you.
"It was Mapi and Jana's idea." She tells you.
It's a wonderful surprise nonetheless, and from the quick glance you get at it, it looks like it contains genuinely useful stuff along with some treats that you'll devour once Alexia brings it back home.
Shortly after that, the trophy ceremony commences and you beam as Alexia collects her medal before picking up the trophy and taking it over to her teammates. You'd seen her do this multiple times, and of course she obviously seemed overjoyed each time, but as you watch this particular celebration, there's a new, unrefined look on her face, almost like she's letting her happiness consume her instead of dimming it a little to keep her persona.
When she comes home later, an endless amount of gift bags in her arms, she frowns at the unexpected silence of her home. She thought she would walk into the sounds of you and Alba laughing and chattering away like you often did together, so the stillness of the house comes as a surprise. Dropping all her bags off in the kitchen, she wanders into the lounge that was lit up by one lamp in the corner of the room. She squints a little, her eyes adjusting to the darkness, and spots you lay on the sofa with a blanket over you as you sleep.
"Hola Tata." Alba smiles at the sight of her sister in the doorway of the living room. "She fell asleep after the broadcast ended, so I took Anaís to her nursery and stayed in there so she could rest."
"Is she okay?" Alexia asks, concerned, happily accepting a restless Anaís when Alba offers her.
"Sí, sí, she is fine. Just tired. I think chiqui needs feeding, I changed her diaper but she is still a bit unsettled." Alexia nods in agreement and grabs a fresh bottle from the steriliser. "Would you like me to do anything? I have dinner with friends later so I will need to leave soon."
"No, it's okay, Tati. Thank you for coming over today and keeping them company."
Alba watches on in astonishment as Alexia expertly prepares a bottle of formula for Anaís with only one hand.
"Of course. It was so fun spending time with your girls." Alba states, pausing for a moment before walking over to her older sister and hugging her tightly from behind whilst being mindful of her niece.
"¿Tas bien?" Alexia frowns, leaning her head against Alba's when the younger woman rests her chin on her shoulder.
"Sí, simplemente estoy orgulloso de ti." Alba tells her, Alexia chuckling shyly. (Yes, I'm just proud of you.)
"Grácies, Tati." She mumbles, smiling down at Anaís when she mewls quietly.
"I was going through some old photos before and I realised that this little chiqui looks just like we did when we were babies." Alba reveals, lightly tracing her finger over the curve of Anaís nose.
"Really? You have to send me them." Alexia says as the timer goes off, telling her that the bottle was ready. "Put your hand out." Alba does as she says and laughs quietly when Alexia tips a few drops of the milk onto her hand. "Too hot? Too cold?"
"Just right, I think." Alba shrugs, unattaching herself from Alexia. The older woman presses the lukewarm bottle to Anaís' lips, a tiny proud smile growing when she immediately settles and starts drinking. Alba can't help but be fascinated again. "I can't believe you're a Mami now."
"Me too." Alexia mumbles, eyes unmoving from her daughter who seems much more content now that she's being fed. She glances up at Alba, a little confused when she sees her eyes have turned glossy. "Tati?"
"Papa would be so proud." Alba blurts out, a down-turned smile on her face due to the array of emotions overcoming her.
"Alba." Alexia smiles sadly, finding herself beginning to react exactly the same as her sister. Her eyes glimmer in the light of the room when she looks back down at the little girl in her arms. "I wish he could meet her."
Alba sniffles and walks back over to Alexia, slinging an arm around her shoulder and kissing her cheek.
"He would have been an amazing abuelo, right?"
"Sí." Alexia whispers breathlessly, looking up at the lights for a moment to blink away her tears. "Go to your dinner, Tati, stop making me cry."
"Vale, I'm going." Alba laughs, giving her another cheek kiss and squeezing her side tightly before stepping away. "Te veo pronto."
"Buenas noches, disfruta tu velada." Alexia follows her to the hallway and watches her leave, smiling brightly as she steps out of her house and closes the door.
That smile stays on her face as she walks silently back to where you slept in the lounge, then sits down carefully next to where your head lay as Anaís carries on feeding. You had your face buried in the couch cushions, a blanket pulled up to your shoulder and your hands tucked under your chin. Alexia sighs contently, maybe a little too loud, as it seems to wake you.
"Ale?" You rasp, leaning your head back a little to glance up at her through one eye.
"Sí amor. You can sleep more if you would like, I have the baby." Alexia whispers. There's a piece of hair that's fallen onto your face that she would swipe out of the way for you if her hands weren't full with a tiny feasting baby.
"When did you come home?" You wonder, rubbing your eyes.
"Not too long ago. Alba left just now."
"Oh god, I can't believe I fell asleep while she was here." You groan, a little embarrassed at the fact you had just abandoned her for sleep and left her with your baby.
"No, it's okay, she was more than happy to look after Anaís. She said she took her up to her nursery and just relaxed in there with her." Alexia tells you as you hide your face back into the sofa pillows. "If you fell asleep, that means you needed it. It's absolutely fine, amor, don't be embarrassed."
You nod and rest there for a few moments, before deciding to sit up and snuggle into Alexia's side. She smiles down at you and kisses your forehead, the pair of you sitting in silence for a little while as Anaís drinks.
"Did you have fun today?" You ask, fiddling absentmindedly with the hem of Alexia's shirt.
"I did, it was very fun. I got a lot of gifts from fans and the staff for Anaís. Also a lot for you, not many for me though." She frowns and you laugh at the sight as well as the disheartened tone to her voice.
"I guess you're just not so popular anymore." You tease, kissing her jaw just as Anaís finished off the bottle. You took it from Alexia's hands and placed it on the floor so that she could burp Anaís, watching on as she carefully positioned her so that she was sat up on her thigh with a hand holding her front to support her and the other gently rubbing up and down her back. "Remember when you thought you wouldn't good enough? You're a pro, Ale."
"Hm. I still worry that sometimes." Alexia admits sheepishly.
"Why?" You wonder quietly, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder and squeezing once.
"I think it is just a general worry. But you do a great job of telling me otherwise. We don't know much about her personality yet but you and her make being a parent easy." She states softly, glancing down at you with a blissful smile on her face.
Out of all the places she's been, all the things she's seen, everything she's achieved and the once-in-a-lifetime experiences she's lived, these moments right here could never be topped.
"That's very adorable of you to say." You murmur, forever enamoured by how soft and affectionate she can be with her words. "I can't wait to see what she's like when she grows up."
"Me too, but she can't do it too fast." Alexia grumbles, once again making you laugh as you quickly wipe a bit of spit-up away from Anaís' mouth. "Before we know it she will be moving out."
It's said with a dejected sigh, and this time you laugh at Alexia instead of with her.
"You do realise she's not even three weeks old? She's not gonna be packing her bags and leaving next week, Ale." You say with a grin, giggling as a small smile breaks onto Alexia's face despite her trying to stop it. "We have at least eighteen years before we need to worry about that."
"I know, I just don't want it to happen ever."
You hum in agreement, before noticing the slight redness to Alexia's eyes.
"Have you been crying?" You ask her, sitting up a little more so you could look at her properly.
"Only a tiny bit, Alba made me cry before she left." Alexia chuckles lightly.
"What do you mean?"
"Ah, she... she started talking about our Papi and... how proud he would be now that I have you and Anaís." Alexia replies, the same feeling from before taking over her. You smile sadly and wrap an arm around her shoulders, kissing her cheek.
"He really would." You whisper.
It falls quiet again, the only sounds being the tiny burps that Anaís lets out every so often, you and Alexia laughing quietly everytime. She grows tired after a little while, so Alexia cradles her back into her arms and you both watch as she quickly falls asleep in the company of her parents. It's a sight you don't think you could ever get sick of; it's perfect.
"It was nice seeing you so happy today." You say quietly to Alexia, not wanting to wake Anaís up.
"I am always happy, amor." Alexia replies in a confused tone.
"I know, but just seeing you at the game earlier, you seemed a different kind of happy."
"Because I have everything I have ever dreamed of now."
You might not have believed her at first - did she not already have that with all she's accomplished with football? But the way she looks into your eyes as she says it with so much earnest and love and a thousand other emotions swirling in her hazel orbs when she gazes at you, you might just believe her.
And two years later as you bake another cake, this time for Anaís' second birthday, a past memory - which seems incredibly distant now - washes over you. You mention it to Alexia, who's eyes light up instantly, though she doesn't immediately say what's on the tip of her tongue. You manage to coax it out of her, and this time around it's your turn to be completely caught off guard.
"I think we should have another soon."
You look up at her, surprised but completely on board with the idea. You say just that to her and afterwards, it goes quiet again as you stand doing your individual baking jobs with shy, excited smiles on your faces about the prospect of being parents again and growing your family. Anaís was such a happy and easy child, of course you'd have another if the next one turned out to be anything like her. And seeing Alexia with a newborn again? Absolutely.
However, you recognise a pattern in your family decision-making process.
"If we only want two kids though, we should probably stop baking cakes."
Part 2
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jinkiezzsstuff · 5 months
Note
Hey! I really loved your Covkwarming with Alastor Story. Would you maybe want to make one where Alastor is busy and reader wants his attention? Maybe he even snaps at her only to later search for her and make it up to her? With lots of fluff and maybe nsfw?
Hope you have a nice day
-🌸🦇
BRODI! You waited a whole month for this and I AM SO SORRY. I love and appreciate you and your request so much thank you very much for being patient, i really really loved this idea but dang april has been a crazy month for me, i hope you’re doing well and enjoy this fic it’s a longer one!
i’m actually really happy with how this turned out
warnings: SMUT 18+, angst, fluff, mean alastor, you guys fight, gaslighting girl boss alastor, established relationship (you were together before he went missing), loyal reader described, codependency kinda, some horror aspects?, descriptions of alastors dead food, alastor admits his emotions and issues in an alastor way, brief descriptions of reader having self sabotaging habits- drinking smoking/potsmoking too, GN reader although clit is used, penetrative sex, slow sex, swearing, alastor doesn’t like pillow talk lol i think that’s it but let me know not proof read
5.1K words
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Alastor was locked up in his radio tower, exhausted as he sifted through various forms of media coverage from his battle. Vox, the little electronic weasel, had his entire affair with Adam recorded and broadcasted around, which was frightful for Alastors image. Not only had he been gone for seven years, but he’s helping with a hotel that endorsed goodness. Needless to say Alastor wasn’t doing okay, his ears were constantly pulled back, smile strained, and he kept blowing the lights up and down. Hell, his static was so violent it even gave him headaches.
Even his shadows at this point began causing chaos, his own anxiousness and frustration bleeding off into them. Alastors isolation caused you to be extremely worried, you weren’t there while he fought Adam, you should’ve been, because since then he’s not been the same. You saw it on TV, the one Vox had broadcasted. Try as he may, Alastor didn’t keep it away long enough for you to not see, there was always someone else putting it back out there.
You didn’t bring it up to him- not that you could; he was too overly consumed in his tower. Incessantly shutting down broadcasts, throwing out power, attacking minor demons for spreading the information. It made you feel so very many unfortunate emotions, never in your many years of being dead have you ever seen him so erratic and emotionally disturbed.
Alastor would play pretend in public but you knew him, as did Husk, the two of you could tell he was tense, strained, constantly ready to snap, his poise was harder to keep. Lucifer presence in the hotel didn’t help at either, constantly trying to get into it with Alastor, which only furthered his isolation. You began to feel extremely lonely, it was rare in hell anyone was a good shoulder to cry on, or ear to hear, but you got used to going to Al after a long day, laying your head on his lap as he caressed your face and hummed you tunes, now you were alone most the time. None of his silly jokes filled the air, no you barging into your shared room and him attempting to hide his messy eating, no soft jazz playing next to you as you slept, no shadows trying to scare you, nothing.
It was incredibly lonely and the time without him showed how emotionally dependent you were on him. You wondered if he felt the same lonesomeness without you around, or if he didn’t even want you around? Maybe he was too wrapped up in his feelings to realize you weren’t around him? Did he have the same need for you as you did him? Did he miss little things about you as you did him.
Throwing your body off the couch and standing pin straight, you cut your thoughts off by marching towards Alastors tower on the far end of the hotel. You hadn’t been up there once since the battle, so this was bound to be interesting, and anxiety inducing. You could already feel the worry prickling your finger tips, making you even more uncomfortable. Knocking at Alastors door was, well, underwhelming, there was no sound, no movement, no indication he was even in there. Even shouting out at him normally would’ve gotten him to at least respond by now, it was rare he left people hanging like that, it wasn’t how he was brought up.
So you decide to cross the boundary you knew he loathed; intrusion. You entered with your breath held tightly making your throat clench, walking in you meekly hummed out his name. “Al? It’s been a long couple of days, I was wondering if you wanted some down time?” Your eyes bounced around the dark room, papers on the floor, radio frequency buzzing harshly in your ears, the low buzz of what sounded like hospital lights, it was all very creepy
Wringing your hands you came up toward his large table connected with cables and speakers, on the table was cups of coffee empty and half drank, corpses and bones of unfinished mutilated deer, and the smell of blood was something that suddenly hit you nearly knocking you back. As you covered your nose with your wrist, you back up and bumped into something, turning around with incredible speed. Alastor was there, taller than usual with his bones looking sharp and broken in his skin, his smile was stretched gruesomely making you nearly grimace, his eyes as well, wildly glaring down at you black and soulless. “Uh, I missed you.” You squeaked curling into yourself just at the sight of him.
Alastor hasn’t ever looked like this in front of you ever, it was such an abnormal and alarming look for you to set your eyes on. Alastor let out a jagged breath, his antlers growing in size with a nasty crunching sound to accompany it. “You disturbed my work, and snuck in, all because you missed me?” Alastor bent down to grab your attention, your eyes flickering to meet his own. You nodded at him, and he only hummed in return, standing tall and walking around his desk to sit at his chair. You turned on your heel to follow his movements, biting your lip with worry. Sure you were anxious before as you typically got with anybody, you weren’t confrontational and you weren’t one to cross the boundary, although you never expected him to look so angry with you.
“Perhaps, if that’s the case, you should find yourself another demon; I cannot be surrounded by the meek and emotionally stunted. My work, my image, will always come first my dear. Now, get out.” Alastor enunciated every word with his hands rested under his chin, and his head cocked to the side. Your stomach dropped and your cheeks watered like you were about to be sick, immediately your eyes widened, noises falling out of your mouth as you attempted to grasp at the words you were trying to say. “S-You’re breaking up with me?” Your voice was a wreck, struggling to expel the words past the sob that wanted to rip out of you, the disbelief evident in your tone. Alastor stood from his seat and leaned toward your face over the table, your lip quivered as he did so, trying your hardest not to cry.
“Heavens no! I’m simply saying if you can’t handle being a secondary priority perhaps you should take some time alone, remember what it is to be your own person! I will not bend my rules for some silly relationship.” His tone dripped with condescension and he finished his sentence with a boop on your nose. The only thing your mind could conjure was ‘how dare he?’ you never felt so insulted by him before. You always put him first, you waited seven years for his return defending his role in hell, and he sees you as secondary to himself. Does that mean he would save himself before you? Was this relationship only about his own desires, his own cravings and you weren’t important? You must be too sensitive about this?
“So you won’t spare me a moment because some stupid TV proved you aren’t invincible? Grow up Alastor please,” You could help the rage that slipped out in between your words, fists clenching, eyes narrowing. Alastor hissed statically at you. “Don’t for a second get it twisted up in your pretty little head that you are special, you are just like every other disposable sinner, i suggest you monitor your tone with me, dear.” Alastor crackled, his voice more electric than you’ve ever heard before. Your frown was deep, the tears silently falling down your cheeks. You didn’t even know what to say, instead you just shrugged with your head low, and turned around silently leaving him behind.
The moment you existed his tower you ran, your brain screamed to get away before somebody could question what was wrong or what happened. You couldn’t stomach the idea of being seen like this, and you didn’t want Alastor to come out and catch you, so you took off. You exited out the back without a trace, wandering into the streets of the pentagram. Eventually you found yourself back at your old apartment, which you still paid for as you really don’t plan to continue living at the hotel. When you got there you were finally able to let everything settle in you, it felt like the sadness slipped into your bones and weighed you down further into your sofa.
You didn’t move for hours, and eventually you ended up falling asleep. You left without a word, without your phone and without any of your stuff. Of course Alastor was very aware he made the choice to say the things he did, but he didn’t mean them, and after a short bit of reflection he could understand it was just an emotional response to the fear of being vulnerable. As well as the anxious thought dancing in his mind about the what ifs, what if he were to die, what if his plan fails and the deal goes wayward and you’re left with the pieces of his mess? What if Vox targets you, what if others do, do the citizens of hell see him as some weak mush because he’s dating you?
It’s all what led him to exploding; insecurity. Even the thought of having such a low tier emotion made his blood boil, but as long as nobody knew about it, he would find a way to quell it. Alastor waited, not wanting to impose while you were still going through thee emotions. However things started getting worrisome by the next day, nearly thirty hours into being gone and the patrons had begun to question him. Obviously Alastor didn’t know, and instead opted to sway the topic away from you and instead to something else.
The week came and gone like a blur, Alastor hadn’t seen you since you came into his tower and the rest of the hotel had set out to look for you with no luck. Alastor kept to his tower, telling himself if you wanted to be away that was your choice; he wasn’t chasing you like some lost puppy. Though he did find himself briefly wondering if you were still alive, after all Vox was out there watching through cameras on every corner and Adam’s corpse went missing and wasn’t accounted for, there was many threats to your safety he hadn’t thought of before.
With a sigh of static frustration, Alastor flicked his hand giving the okay to his right hand shadow to go find you, he couldn’t stand his thoughts anymore. And so it did, within seconds the shadow zipped and zoomed knowing exactly where you were, not that you were trying to hide. It slinked up against the paint peeling wall of your apartment, watching you on the couch, news softly sounding out as you read a book. Your home was a wreck, looking as though you’ve had fits upon fits of rage and lacked to clean after. Dishes piled, laundry scattered all across the linoleum floors. Alcohol, pot and cigarettes were a hefty scent in the room, it didn’t accompany the damp mold smell well at all. Oh what a thing you’d become without Alastor! The shadow watched like a fly on the wall for varying moments, studying you and your state before vaporising into the floor and taking off back to its master.
Honestly, you weren’t expecting Alastor to come knocking at your apartment door, so when you swung it open expecting your usual delivery guy, you were shocked and you didn’t bother fixing your depressed appearance. “Goodness gracious my little dame it looks like you’ve been dragged through mud!” Alastor laughed boisterously using his microphone to push you aside and barge in. You stood aside speechless, watching as he stepped inside with his hands rested just above his tail, surveying the room around him. His neck cracked disgustingly, his body forward while his head faced you, his grin tamed. “What happened here?” The words were simple but his tone was confusing, you couldn’t tell if he was angry, suspicious, or worried. You sneered at him, lip twitching upward as you slammed the door and wordlessly returned to your spot on the couch.
“I didn’t expect you to search, work come first yknow.” Oh yes, you planned to milk the words he said against you to berate him and his attempts to make up, you were in hell for a reason after all. Alastor huffed- like a buck would, something uncharacteristic for him to do outside of being alone with you, which sickeningly made your heart flutter, he still trusted you in a way, did that mean you were still his? You always told him he was more deer then he’d like to admit and those huffs were one of those deer attributes. “Hm yes, but you’ve been quite the work, I hope you know.” You clenched your teeth, trying not to snap instantly, but you did send him a glare.
You muttered about how that didn’t make things any better when he snapped his fingers, all things garbage vanishing in a pinch, mold included. “Ah, much better! My mother always said the state of the house is the state of the mind!” A round of applause sounds from his microphone as he laughed, rounding the couch with a slow stride. “Tell me, would you like to talk?” It felt more condescending then genuine, the way he was bent forward with lidded eyes and an eased smile, like you were some child having a tantrum. “No, Al, you made what you said pretty fuckin clear, i don’t wanna be with you if I am some chore or job, or secondary whatever!- i wanna be your partner and you want me to be a pet? Yeah, no thanks.” You punctuated your sentence with a dramatic scoff, flopping back into the cushions with your arms folded protectively across your chest.
“Ahhh my little doudou,” Alastor chided, sitting himself flush to you, arm around the back of the couch to trap you near him. “I want you to listen to me, and listen to me closely because i will never admit this again!” Alastor exclaimed this with what sounded to be false confidence and a slight hint of exasperation. He pinched your chin in between his claws forcing you to look at him, and of course you did, what else were you to do? “I have become a fool, all across the pentagram, I’m held by ball and chain— the devil my dear! The devil is- some frazzled little nitwit with all the power and no ambition!” Alastors fist clenched at the mention of Lucifer, abandoning your chin to do so. “I was feared my dear, nobody dared to test my authority, and now i’m an assumed bellboy for the princess and her gaggle of misfits. You,” Alastor paused leaning in so close your noses touched.
“My dear, were the only one i actually wouldn’t mind being weakened for.” You couldn’t stop the comical ‘huh’ that gargled straight from your throat. “What does that even mean Alastor.” You whine throwing your head back bumping his arm as you did so, an unknowing invitation to slide it down, hand caressing your shoulder softly. “It means dear, I didn’t mean what i said, because i’ve already done those exact things in the past! I’ve missed countless radio shows from you, refrained from eating deer around you- for your sake. I’ve held you to me on every block knowing Vox could see us perfectly! You were my chosen weakness, darling, but with all these other useless sinners belittling my role in hell, i took it out on you,”
Pausing Alastors static faded in and out, you watched his eyes closely, but the real give away was the way his ear subtly tilted to the side looking like a sad puppy. “I felt what i said, I felt weak and I knew you needed me and didn’t want to feel this weakness anymore, so logically-” You scoffed with a small smirk, mockingly muttering ‘logically’ back at him. “-I had to try to appear as though I am what I originally intended to be.” He finished giving you a pointed look. Shifting your body to face him more, you analysed his body language and face. Typically- no matter how long you’ve been together- he was amazing at hiding his emotions, always seeming to be happy. It seemed like he let his guard down however, his eyebrows were furrowed and pointed upward, his smile tight, shoulders rigid and his breathing shallow. Anticipation was evident by the way his hoof tapped against the floor with beat.
You finally let you emotion reignite, the tears slipped down your face like rivers as you gently shook your head. “What did you intend to be?” You asked softly, an unattractive spit bubble forming as you opened your mouth. “A ruler of sorts, i suppose. Emotionless, cruel, untouchable. I tried to reaffirm to myself by being cruel to you my dear, that i was still a demon, not the altruist teddy bear they all dubbed me as.” Alastors form had finally slumped, sinking into the cushions alongside you, his head falling back gazing up at the ceiling. You caved just slightly at his admission, and rested your head on his chest near his armpit, your body sinking into his. Suddenly he perked up, looking down at you, you reflexively shooting your gaze up to him.
“Yknow they made a mockery of my speech as well my dear! Preposterous, darling, many sinners posted about me being ‘cringe’, my speech was ‘corny’, my dearest can you believe that?” You almost took offence to the fact he sounded more distraught over being made fun of rather than hurting you, but you reminded yourself that Alastor was trying to open up, and you weren’t gonna ruin that. “Is that why you were killing randos instead of overlords?” You asked feeling more relaxed than you had before, obviously there was many words in between you two unsaid, but you wanted to bask in the small talk you craved for so long from him just a little longer.
“Precisely. I’m proud you noticed.” You hummed with a small smile, your head resting back on his chest. “Why did it take so long for you to come?” Despite not even thinking he would, you now had the knowledge he didn’t actually hate you, and if he didn’t why’d he drag it out? “Pride,” What would’ve been a hoarse voice to any other demon, was a staticy robotic sound that crackled out of his chest. “This is way out of my comfort my dear, i didn’t and still don’t know what to say or do, and i don’t like being out of control.” You whimpered at that, curling up into him, your legs slinging over his thighs so you could cuddle up next to him. Immediately his arms engulfed you, pulling you into him with a happy hum, his neck craning to kiss your head softly.
“i missed you, you really hurt me, bad. Don’t do it again.” You state firmly though it was muffled by the fabric of his coat, the one you had your face nuzzled into. Alastor hummed out softly petting you on your head, just like he would before. “Never again doudou~, you have my word, and i promise to make it up to you.” Tiling your head upward you yanked at his colar, and he immediately ducked down meeting your lips at will. The kiss was soft and Alastor could feel the dampness from your tears on your chin against him. After a moment you both pulled away, although not far from eachother your lips were practically still touching.
“Why don’t I give you some attention my sweet doe.” Alastor cooed against your lips, you could hear the mischief in his tone as his hand pawed your hips. You blinked slowly at him, an instant twist of desire appearing low in your gut. “How?” Alastors grin widened for the first time since appearing at your door, and you feared you’d truly be in for it tonight. “Oh my, have i neglected your needs so long you need to inquire how?” Alastor question was rhetorical only furthered by the way he kissed his teeth with his index finger coming up to shake side to side. “That simply will not do!” Standing suddenly, with you in his arms, made you gasp and clutch onto him instinctively. You smacked his chest playfully, muttering to him about being too heavy, he however ignored you, walking toward your old room with his head held high.
The room in question was a mess, and a thick layer of dust coated every object that wasn’t being continually used, like the nightstand, and the lamp. Alastor didn’t care much though, he never did care whether you were messy or super clean he’d always snap his fingers to assist you, and that’s exactly what he did. Slowly around the room things cleared up, his shadows slunk into the room with strange looking candles setting a romantic tone for the room. The bed was remade neatly when he set you on it gently, watching your doe eyes stare up at him with a familiar intensity that always made him fidgety. You let him flop you down without complaint, after all it wasn’t always that Alastor seemed so interested in getting down and dirty.
Standing above you, Alastor grinned down at you with lidded eyes, letting his long fingers dance down his chest to undo his buttons. He wasn’t really a fan of trying to appear sexually appealing to those around him, he’d never admit how out of the ordinary, and awkward it felt, but he knew you. You were his. You were loyal. You waited seven years just for him, never spilling a single secret. Secretly, he was way more comfortable with trying to appear “sexy” for you, because he knew no matter what, you wouldn’t look at him any differently. Alastor shrugged off his jacket, his button down shirt open exposing his chest to you. “Y'know dear,” A bit of southern drawl slipped out, as the mask he wore slipped away with his jacket. “You give me a very special outlet i do not think i’d have with any other sinner, you’re too kind to me.” Pulling off his shirt, he folded it and set it aside, kicking off his slacks right after, leaving himself in his boxers and long socks.
You watched him undress with wide eyes, you wanted nothing more then being pressed against the warmth of him, absorbing his touch. You however stayed still, letting Alastor relax into the mood as he rid himself of clothes. Alastor sat on the edge of the bed, right beside your hips, his hand traced lightly up and down your torso, occasionally dipping down to your thighs. You felt tense at the touch, both anticipation and insecurity making you feel stiff. Suddenly his claw hooked around the band of both your undergarments and pants, his eyes flickering up to inspect you when he did so. “May I?” His voice was soft, the usual uncertainty present as he felt out of his realm. “Yes, please.” You sigh, your tone nearly whiny. “I missed you so much Alastor,” You admit hushed as his claws brushed down your thighs with your clothes. Once off, Alastor leaned down, giving soft pecks to your thighs, eyes staring up to you through his red lashes. “Yes dear, my life been painstaking without you.” He whispered against your flesh, sharp teeth dragging up past your hips, nose bumping the cloth of your shirt. Sitting up slightly, you were preparing to slid your shirt over your head when Alastors body slid between your legs, claws coming up to pinch and lift the fabric exposing your chest.
With him now face to face with you, leaned over your body, you caved. Your hands slid around his neck guiding him toward you slowly, your lips met instantly like two magnets being held just inches apart. It was a sweet kiss for the most part, your lips meshed against his as you let him control the pace, it was nice with Alastor you always had enough time for the heat to simmer and grow, making foreplay unnecessary most times because he naturally took his time. You raked your fingers through his hair, nails scratching up his scalp causing ripples of goosebumps down his arms. Alastor slipped his tongue delicately licked at your lip, brushing as soft as ever. You were a bit shocked at this, typically he wasn’t into french kissing, lamenting that the whole tongue thing was messy and disgusting feeling. However you didn’t fight him, only allowed him access, which he immediately took with ease slipping his tongue against your own.
His body collided into yours, nose bumping your cheek as he angled his head. Your hands slipped down his back, smiling against his lips at the feeling of his tail wagging back and forth making small gusts of wind against your fingertips. Alastor nipped at your lips in retaliation, hands roaming your body as he pushed his hips up to softly grind his hard on into you. You hummed at the feeling of him against you, angling your hips back and up pressing your wetness against his briefs. Your body was buzzing while Alastor slowly grinded himself down on you, his clothed head travelling between your folds and back up to poke at your clit. The kiss had broken as he continued on, your breathing shaky as you enjoyed the slow motion of him above you, his teeth scraping down the length of your neck.
Alastor couldn’t help the groan that bubbled out of him. Not only could he smell your arousal but he could smell just you. He pressed his face to the nape of your neck, kissing and inhaling, loving the smell you had naturally on your skin. He also got quite the kick out of hearing the blood rush through your veins, it made him feel feral knowing you would bare yourself to him so willingly, he had you around his finger. Alastor let his lips glide down your body, leaving bite marks down your chest and neck as he did so, hips still moving slowly against you. You had soaked his briefs making the fabric feel absent, clinging to every ridge and vein of his cock slide through your folds. “Please Al, I need you.” You whined pathetically, pressing your hips up into his. Alastors choppy breath warmed your collar bone, his forehead rested on your shoulder, eyes closed as he slipped his hand down, yanking himself out of his boxers.
Sometimes he felt like an untrained dog, he couldn’t help but want to hump into you without restraint, but that wasn’t him, that was desire, and he knew how to hold back. As he sunk into you, slowly, he breathed out the quietest of noises against you shoulder, basking in you. You could hear his quiet noises clearly since he was so close, you bite your lip at the sound of him, loving how he always let you see him so wrecked. When Alastors hips were flush with your own, your legs came up around his hips, his tail stiff, while your arms wrapped around his neck, your right hand dragging up his scalp to his ears. “I like hearing you, Alastor,” You gasped as he jolted into you, like an involuntary reaction to your praise. “It makes me feel you.” You finished breathlessly. Alastor hummed against you, setting his pace slow and deep, barely pulling away before he pushed hard back inside you.
Your eyes were wide as he continued this rhythm, to you it was incredibly overwhelming, he never left you vacant always hungry to fill you right back up with him. His pants against you were also adding to your arousal, his eyelashes fluttered against your skin ever now and again as he attempted to contain himself. You knew he was sort of embarrassed with himself feeling pleasure, so you never egged him on when he did start making noise, but lord you wanted more. You tugged Alastors hair softly, pulling him up for a sloppy opened mouth kiss. He barely opened his eyes as he mushed his lips against yours, snaking his tongue against your own, bucking up faster into you at the warmth of your mouth. “I missed you, i love you,” You cried against his lips pathetically, your body’s both rocking on the bed as Alastor hurried his pace.
Alastor let out a low guttural noise, something from the back of his throat making your toes curl, pulling at his hips with your legs. “I couldn’t- stand you being away, dear.” Alastors face was inches from your own, forehead rested on yours, lips brushing against each other as he spoke. “Never again will i be such a fool, you’re mine forever.” Alastor growled through his clenched teeth, claws ripping into the mattress as he spoke. Your mouth hung open, eyebrows raised as you tried to from some sort of praise, but now his eyes were open looking down at you with such intensity and emotion, and his pace fast hard putting your body straight into the mattress. You didn’t even feel your orgasm coming on when it did, your body arching up into his, crying out his name alongside pleas.
The display of you in front of him was so pornographic, something he wasn’t fond of seeing but now understood why people were. You were gorgeous right now, your face red, your eyes watering, your body folded up towards his, all the scars, folds marks on your body, all for his eyes only. Groaning loudly, he fell back into his favourite place, your neck, and let out a deep breathless static moan as he came. You clutched him the entire time through watery blurred eyes, enjoying the feeling of him inside you post orgasm. Pulling away, Alastor was quick to pull out and away, snapping his fingers he began to clean you with a cloth. “Disgusting of me,” He muttered, seemingly angrily. “No, it was good Al, you’re allowed to. You’re not disgusting and neither was the sex, believe me.” You coo, sitting up from your position, a dopey look on your face. In a snap, Alastor was redressed as were you, in leisure clothing. “We’re going back to the hotel to sleep my little doe.” Alastor spoke softly, lending his hand to you, humming you took his hand letting him take you through his magic, back to the hotel. You knew Alastor didn’t like to lay sticky in the remnants of sex like many others, and probably would push you to shower before getting in his bed. But that way okay, you loved him regardless, and you really missed having his attention.
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nebulaafterdark · 2 months
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The Succession (Pt 5)
Summary: After the battle of Rook’s Rest, Queen Y/N is forced to rule alongside Prince Regent Aemond, in an attempt to keep her children safe and eventually seat her mother, Rhaenyra, on the throne. While attending her husband, on what appears to be his deathbed, she begins to unravel the dark truth of his near passing.
Warning: Suggestive language
Aegon Targaryen x Velaryon (Strong!Reader)
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
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“You do not understand,” Y/N protests. “I need to see my brother, he must be tended first. If he dies, my mother will kill me.”
“If you die, the King shall kill us.” The grand maester taps her chin. “Let’s see the damage.”
Y/N moves her hand from her shoulder. “How bad is it?”
The maester begins cutting away surrounding fabric to reveal the extent of her wound. An open, oozing gash, torn clean from one side through the another.
Alicent rushes in, “what have you done?” She demands.
“Aemond is dead.” Y/N whispers, “I killed him.”
“I meant to yourself, what have you done to yourself?” Alicent demands.
“He stabbed me, and he fell.”
“What of the dragons?”
“Baela and Moondancer are searching for Jaecerys and Vermax. Vhagar is dead, as best I can tell.”
Alicent holds a hand to her head.
“Mayhaps you might look in on my husband?” Y/N says, “tell him I am well and that I love him.”
“You expect me to lie to my injured son?”
“Only the first part would be untrue.” Y/N arches a brow.
“Drink this, your grace. For the pain.” The maester presents her a black vile, milk of the poppy. “We’re going to pack the wound.”
Y/N’s eyes widen, “why?”
“I fear the blade must’ve twisted, your grace. The area has been gouged clean. There is not enough flesh for a stitch to hold.”
“Seven hells,” Y/N grimaces, chugging it down.
Even milk of the poppy does little to dull the pain as they begin pressing against the wound. Her screams can be heard echoing the Red Keep for less than a minute, before she faints.
————————————————————————-
“And now I need you to wake, sister.” A voice says, reaching Y/N in her dreamless sleep.
“Jace, she needs time.”
“There is no time.”
Y/N groans, willing her eyes to open.
Jacaerys pats the side of her face, “there you are.”
“You’re alive?” Y/N croaks out, blinking at him in the dim light.
“As are you.” Her brother says, simply, “at present Daemon’s army is marching on us from Harrenhal and mother is on her way for the throne.”
“That is no matter,” Y/N says, “we were only ever holding it for her.”
Baela looks to her betrothed.
“Sister,” he takes her hand, “what is expected of our mother now…to truly seize power, you understand what it would cost?”
“Aegon is in no state to bend the knee, I’m sure if I could speak with her-”
“I fear there may be no chance, if you, yourself, do not provide a show of strength.”
“Helaena has Dreamfyre and I have Stormborn, my children’s dragons are small. Sunfyre is gone.” Y/N reminds them.
“You’ve Vermax and Moondancer.”
Y/N looks to her brother.
“We will stand with you.” Baela assures her.
“Against our mother, you will stand with me?”
“Surely you have not done this for a crown, which would’ve been yours in time. You have done it for Aegon.” Jace sighs, “he is an idiot, but from what I understand, he loves and cares for you.”
“He does,” Y/N nods.
“He has been in talks with our mother for some time, attempting to make terms. That is why he lies injured.” Jace tells her, “his raven did not arrive in time and Rhaenys thought it an attack levied against her. Still I do not wish for his head.”
“Do you think she would do it?” Y/N wonders, “kill him in front of me?”
“You have not seen her these past weeks, since Luce’s death, I cannot say what she’ll do.” Jace loves his mother, fiercely, but he loves his sister too.
“We can anticipate even less of my father’s movements,” Baela admits. “He’s not returned to Dragonstone in nearly as long.”
“I hope to resolve this peacefully.”
“I do not believe our mother thirsts for Aegon’s blood, this is merely a precaution.” Jacaerys tells her. “You must dress, prepare the dragons and the King’s Guard, we do not have much time.”
“We will also raise the smallfolk, they will stand with us.” Y/N says, crying out as she sits upright. “And Aemond’s body, make sure it’s found. I plan to make a gift of it to our mother.”
Jacaerys nods, taking Baela’s hand and setting off to their tasks.
Chérie comes to dress her, pulling out the red dress Rhaenyra gifted her daughter as a symbol of solidarity on the day of Lucerys’ petition. A show of force against the Hightowers, even as she stood beside them.
Y/N shakes her head. “Bring me the green dress.”
Chérie swallows hard, “at once, your grace.”
The green dress is arguably the most beautiful gown she owns. A gold hand embroidered tapestry over emerald green satin. A wedding gift from Aegon. She’s never worn it, save for his rooms upon request, or to have it fitted after the births of their children. This day she stands for her husband and his house. This day she wears Hightower green.
She passes her husband’s apartments on her way to the throne room, turning the knob with familiarity. “Where are the children?”
Aegon looks to her, “in with the maids, shrouded by guards, my darling. I’ve just had the wounds dressed, I did not want them to see.”
Y/N nods, “of course.”
“You are a sight for sore eyes,” Aegon smiles.
Y/N shifts between feet. “Thank you, my love. I am headed to the throne room to meet with my mother and discuss terms of the succession.”
Aegon holds a hand out to her, “come.”
Y/N closes the distance between them, lacing their fingers together as she stands at the side of his bed.
“If her only want is my head, let her have it.”
“What?” Y/N reels back, “no.”
“Hush now and listen,” he insists. “My body is broken, the maesters say I will never be whole. You will be free to remarry-”
“Stop it.”
“A fitting father for our children.” Aegon continues, “so long as I live, I will only stand in your way.”
“No,” Y/N tears her hand away from him, “you’re wrong.”
“I say this out of love,” he insists.
“No harm will come to you. Those are my terms, I present my mother with the throne, and the body of the man who killed her child. I offer her the peace I have made and all the good with it. It is nonnegotiable.”
“It needn’t be this way,” Aegon tells her.
“You’re mine, Aegon.” Y/N insists, “my husband, my confidant, my dearest friend. You are still all of those things to me, however many times I need say it, however many years it takes for you to believe me, I have time. We have time.”
Aegon sighs, “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you.”
“A punishment for something, surely.” Y/N lets out a laugh.
Aegon shakes his head, “a gift from the gods.”
Y/N presses a quick kiss to his lips. “I’ll be back.”
“I will be here.”
Y/N closes the doors to her husband’s chambers behind her. “Stay with my husband.” She orders Cole, waiting to collect her in the hallway.
“Your grace, I am needed at your side.” He says.
“No, you will stay here and defend my fucking husband as though your life depends on it, and best believe it does.”
————————————————————————
Rhaenyra meets Daemon along the gates of the Red Keep. The streets are lined with smallfolk and the occasional yellow cloak, clearing a path for them.
Aegon the fourth begins to fuss in his grandsire’s arms.
“I’ll take him,” Rhaenyra offers. The babe quiets almost instantly.
“He well and truly does not like me.”
Rhaenyra only laughs. “It happens that way sometimes, I’m afraid. Though it may help if you smile.”
Daemon scoffs.
The line of bystanders continues down to the throne room, where Jacaerys and Baela stand on either side of Y/N, at the iron throne.
“This is quite the battalion you’ve assembled, daughter.” Rhaenyra remarks, “do you plan to challenge my claim?”
“Not in the least,” Y/N assures her. “I should like nothing more than to see you sit this throne. But I do have terms of my own.”
“Let’s hear them.”
“First and foremost, the guaranteed safety of Aegon and our children.”
“And what of Aemond?” Rhaenyra wonders.
“Bring him,” Y/N says, to the guards.
Daemon watches as a large black sack is carted in and laid at Rhaenyra’s feet.
“I slain him myself, with the help of my brother and his betrothed.” Y/N tells them, “you may see for yourself. Though I must warn you, he fell from the sky. The sight is not a pretty one.”
Daemon is the one to tear back the fabric and confirm that it is, in fact Aemond. Nodding to his wife.
“What other terms do you have?” Rhaenyra asks.
“Alicent, Helaena and her children.” Y/N swallows, “I wish for their safety as well.”
Rhaenyra pauses, as if to consider.
“You should also know that these guards and the smallfolk which line our halls are here for me. In my name, for my claim, not Aegon’s. The White Hart appeared for me; they follow me.”
“And who do you serve?”
“You, mother. Same as I always have.”
“You will bend the knee?” Rhaenyra purses her lips.
“Now, if it pleases you.” Y/N assures her, “so long as my terms are met.”
Rhaenyra nods, “very well. I should like to be crowned in the dragon pit, where I will reaffirm your title as my heir.”
Y/N takes a deep breath as she rises, approaching her mother and taking Aegon IV in her arms. “Thank you, my Queen.”
“Mother.” Rhaenyra corrects her, gently.
————————————————————————
Over the next weeks, Aegon grows tired of lying about. His unlikely budding friendship with Lord Larys seems to be the culprit.
Y/N is halfway to Aegon’s bedchamber when she hears his pained cries. Rushing in to find him collapsed on the floor.
“I can’t, I can’t.” Aegon protests as the grand maester attempts to bring him upright.
“I am so sorry, your grace.” Orwyle apologizes.
“Leave him.” Y/N shoos him away, “leave him.”
“Your grace,” the maester sighs, allowing Aegon to rest against the floor, “I must get him back to bed.”
“I will do it.” Y/N shakes her head.
“My Princess, surely with your injuries you cannot.”
“If I should need your assistance I will call upon you, Grand Maester. At present, I require a quiet word with my husband.”
The maester nods, “yes, your grace.”
Y/N waits until the doors close behind him to address her husband. “Aegon, I know how dearly you desire to walk again. But it has been but a moon turn since you arrived here in such a state they could not say if you would live. You must remain abed.”
“You did not marry a crippled man.” Aegon bites out, bitterly. “I did not father children as a crippled man.”
“You did not marry me with one arm that may never rise above my head or a scar across my face.” Y/N reminds him.
“My cock is ruined, did I tell you that?” Aegon laments, “it is burnt and disgusting, they do not believe it will rise.”
Y/N sighs, lying down at his side, “allow me to worry about that.”
“It is not you.” Aegon explains, “my love, I cannot bear to look upon my own reflection. I do not know the man staring back at me.”
“I hear your words, husband. You are entitled to this grief. But you needn’t punish yourself for it, nor face it alone. We will fight this battle together, as man and wife.”
“It is difficult for me, allowing you to see me in this state of disrepair, I am…they tell me I will never be whole.”
“My heart aches for you,” Y/N tells him, “but I do not pity you. I believe in you.”
Aegon nods, “you’ve no idea how much it pleases me to hear you say this.”
“You are different, I will not deny this. But different needn’t always be a bad thing. However different our circumstances, I can appreciate the distaste for one’s own reflection. I have felt it most my life, I do not look the part of a Targaryen Princess.”
Aegon exhales, looking to his wife. “You are devastatingly beautiful, the fact that you cannot see it is a tragedy all its own.”
“I love this body because you are in it, not the other way round. When you are no longer in pain, we’re going to train your cock, like a dragon to heel.” Y/N points a finger toward it. “Dohaeris, Rȳbās,” serve, obey.
“Ow, fuck,” Aegon protests clutching his side as he laughs.
Y/N covers her mouth to stop her own outburst.
By the time the Grand Maester rushes in, they are curled up on the floor, cackling like animals and holding their wounds. “Your graces!”
Aegon mutters to his wife, some form of gibberish, only she seems to understand.
Nodding as she chokes out, “lykiri.” Be calm. Sending them into such a state the Grand Maester simply excuses himself, without another word.
“Is everything alright?” Alicent asks, standing with a hand to her heart just beyond the door.
He smiles, “the road ahead is long and painful, but his grace laughs. He has joy.”
“And Y/N?” Alicent wonders, “how is she?”
“The wound is clean but slow to heal.”
“Is the arm lost to her?” Will it move?
“There will be pain, but it moves even now.” He rests a hand on Alicent’s shoulder, “better days in due time, your grace.”
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ashwhowrites · 2 months
Note
HII, LOVE YOUR WORK. Can you do Eddie Munson x popular reader that he has hopelessly in love with. One day, the reader is trying to avoid this guy who’s been asking her out so she kisses Eddie but from then Eddie thinks they are dating. Not knowing how to tell him to not hurt his feelings but he finds out and feels stupid. WITH HAPPY ENDING!!!
I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻
Jumping ahead
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Eddie had been in love with Y/N ever since high school. He always thought she was cute but she entered high school as a woman, and boy she was a woman.
He felt his mouth go dry whenever she was near him. He barely kept his eyes to himself, finding her anywhere he could. His ears were always perked up to hear her voice and laugh. He worshipped the ground she walked on; she had no idea he existed.
Well, that was until Friday night. Eddie never went to parties but he heard some kids wanted weed. So he went to make fast money. He ignored everyone, letting people come to him.
He heard loud voices come out of the house, and the argument quickly grabbed his attention. He turned to the noise, standing up once he saw Y/N marching outside with a pissed-off look.
Even pissed off she looked beautiful. He watched in case he needed to step in, disliking the way the boy followed her and gripped her arm.
She tried to shove him off but he wouldn't let go. Eddie packed up his stuff and put it underneath the table. Then puffed out his chest and made his way over.
"Let her go," he growled, he was very intimated by the tall and muscular jock but he'd do anything for the girl in front of him.
She looked at him with soft eyes, pleading for help. He gave her a quick glance and glared at the boy.
"This doesn't concern you," the boy argued, his grip still on Y/N.
"It does," Eddie replied, his voice deep as he stepped forward. Eddie wasn't muscular by any means, and he knew he'd definitely get his ass kicked. But the way Y/N was looking at him, so scared and helpless, the bruises would be worth it.
"How so?" The boy asked, letting go of Y/N as he shoved Eddie hard. Eddie stumbled back, almost losing his balance. But he grounded himself to the floor, his hand clenched in a fist as he prepared to throw the first hit.
"Because of this," Y/N said
Within seconds Eddie felt sticky glossy lips pressed against his. His eyes were wide as he looked at her. Her eyes were closed, her hands were in his hair and her tongue slipped in his mouth.
Eddie unclenched his fist and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around her body. He shoved her against him, shivering at the way she moaned against his tongue.
Was he dreaming? He feared he'd wake up in his bedroom with wet boxers. It felt like they were the only two in the world. He imagined fireworks shooting in the sky.
Y/N was shocked by how much she was enjoying the kiss. His lips and control were so firm, locking her in place. And she liked the way his arms were around her, refusing to let her body move away.
She pulled away, desperate for air. Her eyes locked on Eddie as she felt the afterwaves of the kiss. She never knew much about Eddie, just his name and face. And well now how he tastes.
Y/N turned around to see the boy gone, a relieved smile on her face as she turned to Eddie.
"See you Monday," she said with a flirty smile. She walked away and gave him a wave, a flirty one as her fingers wiggled.
Eddie smiled at the ground, he shoved his hands in his pockets and tried to make his jeans comfortable again.
~~~
Monday rolled around and Eddie had never been so excited to go to school in his life. He walked on cloud nine, a swag in his step as he felt confidence oozing off of him.
Y/N kissed him. She picked him and she made out with him. Then made it clear they were going to see each other again. She never paid attention to him in school, but now she would.
Y/N was putting her lunch in her locker when Eddie appeared next to her. She gave him a polite smile.
"Hey, Y/N," he said with a bright smile. She couldn't help but smile brighter herself as she looked at him.
"Hi, Eddie," she closed her locker and turned her body to face him.
She was stunned when he leaned in and pressed another breath-taking kiss on her lips. She melted and kissed him back, her arms lopping around his neck.
He pulled away, a shy smile on his face. She blinked a thousand times as he simply walked away.
~
Eddie already raced to tell all his friends about the kiss with Y/N. And how they were definitely seeing each other. She kissed him twice, she had to be interested. And boy was he interested in her.
Y/N felt bad for overhearing Eddie's conversation with his friends, but she felt even worse that he believed they were dating after their kiss.
She didn't want to hurt his feelings, but how the hell was she supposed to clear the air?
He was very cute, and he knew how to kiss. She was very interested in getting to know him and open to letting that lead them to dating. But she didn't know anything about him and now he's telling people he's her boyfriend.
She walked away fast, trying to think of how to bring this up to him.
~~
Two weeks passed and she never quite figured out how to say it. He talked to her all the time, held her hand in the halls, and was never shy to place his lips on hers. She really liked all of it.
They did go out on some dates, and she enjoyed his company. Over the two weeks, she had a fat crush on him and wanted to be his girlfriend. So, she figured what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. She'll gladly be his girlfriend.
But she was so lost in her little relationship that she forgot her friends were snakes. They were quick to gossip and that boy who never gave up on her was making his way back in.
~
"Yo, Eddie. I heard you and Y/N are actually together. Is that true?" Luke asked the name Eddie finally figured out after that party.
"Yes," Eddie said, quick to walk past him but Luke grabbed his arm.
"Now hold on, Munson. Because I heard after she kissed you, you thought you guys were together and she didn't know how to tell you that it was just a kiss."
Eddie felt the color draining from his face. He shook Luke off his arm and made an escape. He racked his brain and felt embarrassment rushing through his body. He was an idiot. He moved way too fast and didn't check to see where she was with all of it.
He also felt terrified. What if she didn't even like him? Just didn't know how to say no so she only went along with it.
He sat in his van, patiently waiting for her to jump in. He heard the door open and she slid in, planting her lips on his cheek and then closing the door.
"Ready?" She asked, he nodded and started the van. She seemed excited and happy to see him, but was all of that an act?
He waited until they sat down at the small restaurant before he questioned her.
"Luke told me something today and I want you to tell me the truth," Eddie said, swallowing nervously.
Y/N sat up straighter, a twist in her stomach. "Of course," she replied with a small hopeful smile.
"Did you mean anything from that kiss? Or was it just a kiss and I got way too ahead of myself?" He asked, she frowned at his sad eyes. She took a deep breath before she spoke.
"You want the truth so I'll give you that. It was supposed to be just a kiss. Something to throw Luke off of me. I'm sorry for using you like that. It was wrong and very wrong to not consider your feelings." She watched as Eddie's shoulders fell. "But" he perked up slightly, looking at her through his lashes with his head down. "I've loved every second we've spent together."
She reached over to softly hold his hand. "I really like you and I'm sorry I didn't say anything. I understand if this changes things, but I'm being honest that I want this with you, for real."
Eddie felt himself smiling at her words before he understood what she said. His stomach fluttered with her hand in his.
"I'm sorry for jumping far ahead without even communicating. I think I got so excited that I didn't even think." Eddie laughed, she giggled with him and rubbed her thumb against the top of his soft skin. "I want this too."
"Really?" She asked, a huge smile broke across her face, and felt excitement in her stomach.
"Have you seen you? Never letting you go." Eddie joked but yet meant every word.
"Can you ask me officially?" She raised her eyebrow with a small smirk on her face.
"Y/N, will you be my wonderful and beautiful girlfriend?" Eddie asked, he already knew the answer but still felt himself getting nervous.
"Absolutely," she said, leaning over the table as she placed a soft and gentle kiss against his lips.
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oddinary4bts · 3 months
Text
Chasing Cars | ch 8 (jjk)
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☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader
☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, this chapter contains mature content)
☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff
☆warnings: peach, curses, luxury, impostor syndrome, alcohol, jungkook's family, they are so gone for each other my dude, explicit content: hickeys, dom!Jungkook, big dick!Jungkook, jerking off, oral sex (male receiving), exhibitionism (sort of but not really), protected sex, Jungkook is a teasing hoe, marking, ass slapping, praising, clit play
☆word count: 13.5k
☆a/n: NEW YOOOORK!!! My second favourite chapter of this series bc it's just so asjgsrjgsabfgo but I'll let you guys be the judge of that haha enjoy reading <3 and thank you to @moonleeai for beta-ing, you're the best <3
☆series masterpost
☆add yourself to the taglist here!
☆☆☆☆☆
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol
☆☆☆☆☆
Friday, March 8th 
The sun is high in the sky, the snow melting on the side of the road, and Jungkook’s car is eating the miles towards New York, the music you’ve been listening to since you’ve left loud yet enjoyable.
Or maybe what’s truly enjoyable is the smile on Jungkook’s face whenever you meet his gaze while you’re bolting a duet, singing over the music.
Scratch that, you’ve been enjoying yourself because you’re with Jungkook. It doesn’t matter what you’d be doing - as long as it’s with Jungkook, you know you’d have fun. Even as his car slows down almost to a halt as you near the city and face its traffic, it doesn’t deter you.
No, Jungkook’s wide grin and his hand on your thigh keeps your mind far too occupied to be able to produce anything other than serotonin, and you think you deserve it. Especially after the uncertainty of the last few weeks, you deserve this moment with Jungkook.
This moment, away from reminders of Taehyung and of how you know this relationship is bound to explode in your face one day.
You shove that thought away as Jungkook’s giggle fills the car, and you glance at him, smiling brightly.
“You’re not really going to put some Taylor Swift on,” Jungkook complains, yet it’s at odds with the amused light in his eyes.
“I sure am,” you reply, and the song Welcome to New York starts playing. 
You know it by heart, and Jungkook watches you in awe as you sing. If you weren’t rational, you’d assume he’s looking at you with heart-shaped eyes, but you know better than that.
You’re just his fake girlfriend for the weekend. Nothing more. 
Nothing more than the fact that you will meet his entire family, including his extended family, tomorrow. He doesn’t seem like he cares, and you’ve been trying to pretend that you don’t care either, but it is making you feel anxious.
You’ve never had a boyfriend that you’ve met the family of before. Or actually, you’ve never had a boyfriend whatsoever.
Jungkook knows his way in the city. You’re not surprised - he grew up here, and he told you he usually spends his summers back home as well to work and make enough money for the year. What you’re surprised about is that the streets down which he starts driving once you’re passed the traffic and into the city proper look expensive, exuding wealth that you could only ever wish to know.
It only increases when he parks his car in the underground parking garage of a huge skyscraper which apparently holds condos and the like.
At least that’s what he says. 
“Leave your bag in the car,” Jungkook tells you as you’re about to fetch your duffel bag from the backseat. 
You cock an eyebrow in question. “Aren’t we here?”
He smiles mischievously, eyes shining in the white neon light of the underground garage. “I’m taking you shopping.”
“Why?” you burst out, looking down at yourself. “Are my clothes not good enough?”
He walks around the car, pulling you away from the car door by the hand before he shuts it behind you, leaning against it. 
“Trust me, peach, your clothes are perfect for me,” he says. “But I much prefer you without the clothes on.”
He winks, and you punch him in the shoulder, cheeks flaming.
“You’re insufferable,” you grumble.
“You like it.”
“I don’t.”
He smiles as you fake-glare at him, until you both start laughing. He extends a hand for you to take, and you let him engulf your small hand with his large one as he pulls you towards the elevator.
“Seriously though, I’ll get you a nice dress for tomorrow night,” Jungkook says as you reach the elevator, and he presses the call button. “Not that I don’t trust what you’ve brought,” he quickly adds before you could say anything. “More as a thank you for doing this for me.”
You narrow your eyes at him, yet you nod your head. Because who would say no to free clothes?
Certainly not you.
Jungkook pulls you behind him in the elevator when the doors slide open, and then presses on the ground floor. Once you get off, he’s quick to guide you down a hallway that looks straight out of a fancy hotel - marble floors reflecting the light of the sconces on the walls, abstract paintings at regular intervals on the wall to the left, over dark oak tables with white flowers in crystal vases. 
The hallway even smells expensive, and you throw a curious glance to Jungkook.
“Where are we?” you ask, unable to help yourself.
He glances at you over his shoulder, winking at you. “Home.”
“This is what you call home?” you ask, thinking about the small apartment you grew up in on the poor side of the city you hail from.
He shrugs. “I feel more at home back in college, but yeah, I grew up here.”
“Jungkook,” you say, tugging on his hand to stop him, but he’s determined, his steps unfaltering.
You grumble under your breath, yet you follow him out into the early evening setting sun, the doors of the building golden. You don’t ask the questions that are burning in your mind - what do his parents do for a living? Why didn’t he mention he was rich?
Why does he live in that small, old apartment with you and Taehyung if he can afford so much more?
The questions spin in your head like they are a tornado of thoughts, and they only increase in speed as he pulls you to an Yves Saint Laurent store, pushing the door open as if he owns the place.
Could he…?
“Jeon Jungkook!” a middle-aged lady greets him, her face lighting up as you come into view. “We haven’t seen you in ages.”
“Hey, Mrs Smith,” Jungkook answers. “Meet my girlfriend.”
He tugs on your hand, forcing you to step out from behind him, and you blush as the lady appears. She’s tall, though you believe it might be because she’s wearing stilettos, and her skirt and blazer combo makes her look like a businesswoman. 
The nametag on the blazer is a clear indication that she isn’t, though. No, she visibly works here.
“Hello,” you awkwardly say, not knowing what else to say as she looks you up and down.
“Are you here for a new wardrobe?” she asks, the question directed towards Jungkook as if what you’re wearing is the ugliest outfit anyone has ever come up with before.
You try to not take offense, yet you find yourself momentarily clenching your jaw as Jungkook replies, “No, just for a dress for Junghyun’s engagement party.”
Mrs Smith nods, and she motions towards what looks like a small scene in front of multiple mirrors. It’s the kind of thing you’ve seen before in period pieces, where the seamstresses take the ladies’ measurement. So you’re not entirely surprised when Mrs Smith pulls out a measuring tape from a hidden pocket in her blazer, and you let her do her work, your eyes on Jungkook as he watches with an amused smile on his lips.
“You could have warned me,” you say, and Mrs Smith looks up towards you, the frown on her features convincing you to shut up until she’s done.
Jungkook only laughs, saying, “I’ve got a lot to tell you.”
He does. He certainly does, and though it’s pissing you off, there’s something endearing about the way he’s watching from that couch, the small smile on his lips softening his features. 
You fall silent as Mrs Smith keeps working, and soon she’s sauntering off, the sound of her stilettos click-clacking slowly fading. You immediately climb off from the little scene, storming towards Jungkook.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were rich?” you ask.
He shrugs. “Does it change anything?”
“It doesn’t.” You look around, not quite believing that you’re standing in a designer store. “But then it does.”
He pouts, the expression so adorable you feel like leaning in and kissing him. It’s startling, and before you can do anything, Mrs Smith comes back with a light blue dress she wants you to try on. You follow the lady to the dressing room, and Jungkook offers you a wink as you glance at him over your shoulder.
Mrs Smith leads you into the room, and it’s way too large for just a dressing room. She leaves the dress on a hook against a wall, in front of a tall standing mirror, and you thank her as she gets out, gently shutting the door behind her.
Which leaves you alone with your thoughts, and with the fact that Jungkook wants to buy you a designer dress. 
You take a look at the dress. It’s beautiful, the colour eerily similar to that of a summer sky, yet maybe somewhat a little paler. You step towards it, searching for a tag, but you can’t find any. The softness of the fabric is a clear indication that it is probably worth more than everything you own combined together, and you anxiously take off your clothes to put it on.
One look in the mirror makes you feel like a princess. Like you’re the one someone might write a story about, or sing a song to. Even though your hair is a mess and you’re not wearing any makeup, you feel more beautiful than you’ve ever felt before.
The dress hugs your curves perfectly, enhancing them in all the right places. It looks like it was tailor-made for you, and for a moment you believe you’re in love.
You really do think you’re in love when you shyly step out of the dressing room for Mrs Smith to finish zipping the dress up, and Jungkook looks up from his phone to look at you.
The smirk on his lips slowly dies down, and his gaze doesn’t move from you as you step closer. You don’t think he’s blinking, or even breathing, and you truly feel like the most beautiful woman in the world right now.
“Do you like the dress?” a female voice to your left says, but you can’t look away from Jungkook.
You’re entranced, and it seems that he is too. Like you’re the center of the universe, or maybe that’s him - it’s hard to tell.
“We’ll take it,” Jungkook says after a moment, and he gets up. 
Towering over you, he tilts your head back with a finger on your chin, and you gulp as your gazes connect.
“On the family tab?” Mrs Smith asks. 
“Yes.”
“How much is the dress?” you can’t help but query, turning your head towards Mrs Smith.
She regards you with an eyebrow cocked, before glancing at Jungkook. “10,350 dollars, miss.”
Your mouth falls open as she walks away, and you immediately look back towards Jungkook.
“No,” is all that you say.
He flicks your nose. “Don’t cause a scene, peach.”
“I’m not causing a scene,” you say through gritted teeth. “This dress is worth more than a year of my share of the rent.”
“And? Your point?”
You roll your eyes, folding your arms on your chest. “I’m not letting you buy this.”
“Well too bad for you, it’s already paid for.”
He winks at you again, and then plops back down on the couch, his smirk widening into a grin that makes butterflies come to life in your stomach.
It’s a feeling you don’t like, so you turn your back on him, heading back to the dressing room. With new respect for the dress, you slowly take it off, treating it reverently. Once it’s safely back on the hanger, you put your clothes back on, hands shaking a little at the enormity of what Jungkook just did.
Though, to him, it doesn’t seem like it was a lot. Indeed, when you get out of the dressing room, leaving the dress behind because you don’t dare touch it again, Jungkook springs up from the couch, offering you his hand.
And even though you feel like maybe you don’t really know anything about him, you take his hand. His fingers close around yours, gently, and he offers you a smile that makes you warm like spring days, when the world is coming back to life.
And as you walk behind him, you think maybe, maybe this weekend is a great opportunity to get to know him better. To get to know the man that hides behind the cocky behaviour, the one you’ve seen on multiple occasions already.
Though it should scare you, the thought only makes you hold onto Jungkook’s fingers a little tighter. He reciprocates, and it’s with a heart beating wildly that he waits with you for Mrs Smith to bring the dress over, safely hidden in a dress bag. Jungkook takes it for you, and then he pulls you behind him.
You’re soon swallowed by the New York city bustling crowd, though Jungkook is a lighthouse in the storm and you feel safe.
You feel safe with him, and that, more than anything, scares you.
*****
“You’re shitting me,” is all you say when Jungkook leads you into his room, once you’re back at the condominium in which he grew up.
You’d gathered enough information to know that he was rich. But you didn’t think he was rich rich - the condo he grew up in is on the two highest levels of the skyscraper, with an unparalleled view of Central Park that’s making you feel like you’re a bird soaring in the sky.
Jungkook laughs behind you as he shuts the door, dropping your duffel bag and his next to it. You’ve been carrying the dress up, treating it like the treasure that it is, and Jungkook gently takes it from your hand as he walks away, disappearing in what you can only assume is his walk-in wardrobe. 
He pops back out a few seconds later, minus the dress bag, and he offers you a smile that’s even more blinding than the city view. “No, I’m not,” he says.
You chuckle, cheeks burning for a reason you don’t quite understand, and then you scan his room. It’s cold, empty, void of the quality that makes his room back at the apartment feel like his. This room is impersonal, the kind of room you’d see in interior design magazines, with the black bed covers and equally as dark walls. Light comes from behind the bed frame, yet the true beauty of the room is that of the city, and you take it in as you step closer to the floor-to-ceiling window that is the wall at the foot of the bed.
“I can’t believe it,” you murmur. “This is so beautiful.”
“It is, isn’t it?”
You slowly nod, glancing towards Jungkook. “I can’t believe you chose to live in that shitty apartment with Tae when this is what you were accustomed to.”
He shrugs, not answering anything, as he instead heads to where he left the duffel bags so that he can carry them into the walk-in. You follow him then, curious to see what the rest of his bedroom looks like.
The walk-in is empty, save for a corner that holds a couple of suits you imagine to be from different designer brands. You notice a few dress shirts over there too, but your gaze focuses on the PC setup that’s in between two walls of shelves.
Finally, something that feels like Jungkook.
You walk towards it, rolling the chair back so that you can sit in it. Jungkook drops your duffel bag on the shelf behind you, and you turn your chair so that you can face him.
“You want to play?” he asks.
“What games do you have?”
He leans towards you, and you catch a whiff of his cologne as he turns the PC on. 
“Honestly I don’t remember what’s downloaded on the PC,” he truthfully replies. “Just check out my Steam account.”
And then he’s walking towards the other side of the walk-in, heading towards what you can only assume is the bathroom. You spring up from the chair, and it rolls behind you from the sudden motion as you jog to the bathroom.
You’re not surprised to see just how expensive the bathroom looks. Black tiles cover the floor, and they climb the walls of the walk-in shower next to which a wide-standing cabinet with glass doors is. A proper look at the shower shows that it’s one with multiple shower heads, and you already know the shower you’ll take later will be heavenly, clearly the best you’ll ever take in your life. Jungkook leans on the counter, folding his arm on his chest as he watches you taking everything in, your gaze wide from awe.
“You don’t even have a bath,” you comment, and Jungkook bursts out laughing.
“I never needed one. But if you want to take a bath, there’s one in the bigger bathroom on this level.”
“Isn’t it connected to like… your parents’ room or something?” you ask.
He shrugs. “Yeah, but my parents haven’t stayed here since I was five,” he reveals. “They prefer staying at hotels.”
You furrow your brow. “They have such a nice condo and they don’t even enjoy it?”
Another shrug of Jungkook tells you that he, too, doesn’t understand his parents. 
“If you want, I can give you a tour of the whole place,” Jungkook suggests after a beat of silence.
Your eyes light up, and you nod forcefully. “Yes. Please, I’d love to.”
He laughs at your enthusiasm, before motioning towards the toilet. “I do have to go to the bathroom first, if you’ll excuse me.”
Cheeks burning, you mumble an apology that makes him laugh as you step out of the bathroom, and he gently closes the door behind you. Embarrassed, you make your way back to the gaming setup, and you watch the landscape picture of the welcome screen. Pressing on enter reveals that Jungkook doesn’t have a password for the computer, and a moment later his Steam library appears in front of your eyes.
Obviously he’s got every game you can imagine, and you don’t have time to go through the whole library before he’s out, ready to give you the tour. And the rest of the condo is just as impressive as Jungkook’s bedroom is, though the whole thing feels… empty. Void of life. Which, you assume it is considering his parents don’t live here most of the time, and his brother owns a city house with his fiancée. 
Your favourite part ends up being the kitchen, even though you don’t cook. But who wouldn’t like the beauty of the marble counters, of the white cupboards and of the impressive glass chandelier that hangs over the long dinner table?
You end up sitting on a stool at the island, watching Jungkook as he moves through the kitchen. He finds instant noodles in the pantry, and he comes out of it with a wide grin on his lips.
“Found dinner,” he says.
You laugh. “You’ve got such a nice kitchen and all you’ll cook are some instant noodles?”  
He narrows his gaze at you. “You have a problem against instant noodles?”
You snort, shrugging your shoulders. “No.”
He doesn’t seem convinced, but he drops it, focusing on making food for the two of you. It takes a few minutes, but he’s soon sitting next to you, two bowls of noodles wafting steam in front of you. It smells good, if not a bit spicy, and you grab the chopsticks he put out for you.
“Thanks for the food,” you tell him, flashing a grin to him that makes his features soften in a far too dangerous way for you.
So you look away, cheeks dusting in pink, and you start eating. Though the noodles are indeed spicy, you endure the burn, finding that you actually enjoy it a little bit. Maybe because it’s distracting you from the thought that you’re with your brother’s best friend - you ought to stop thinking about it anyway.
Here, Jungkook isn’t Taehyung’s best friend. Here, he’s just Jungkook, and you’re just you.
Saturday March 9th
You feel like an impostor. 
The venue for the engagement party is luxurious, nestled on the top floors of one of the many skyscrapers of Manhattan. The people in attendance are all dressed to the nines, as if trying to impress. 
Or you’re just impressed because you’ve never seen so many designer clothes in such a place before. 
The floor is made of shiny marble, the ceiling high. A huge, glass chandelier hangs from it, and multiple columns are decorated with shiny golden garlands. In one corner, in front of tall windows overlooking New York City, a photobooth is set up, but you’ve remained clear of it so far.
You and Jungkook are both aware that you can’t risk having pictures of you taken. Not when they could easily be found by Taehyung, or by other people from back at college.
Like Ria, who questioned you for hours when you said you were going to spend the weekend in New York…
You know you’ll be grilled when you get home, but you push that thought aside, much like you’ve been putting all thoughts of your regular life aside. Jungkook has been making it easy - his smile and laughter, ever so constant yesterday evening, has been grounding, and though he does seem anxious right now, he’s remained by your side, making sure to put you at ease.
You haven’t met his parents or brother yet, but he’s introduced to some cousins that approached you, some of them surprisingly only speaking Korean. Jungkook bridged the gap between you and them, translating when needed, and they have now moved to the refreshment table, adorned with a pyramid of champagne glasses you’ve imagined toppling over at least fifteen times since you’ve arrived.
You really do feel like an impostor at the sight of all the easy luxury. Of the Louboutin high heels, the Louis Vuitton purses, the expensive suits and dresses everyone is wearing. The vast room smells rich, and it truly isn’t your crowd.
“Smile, peach,” Jungkook says, nudging you with his elbow.
Your gaze slides to him, and as it’s been doing since you finished getting ready earlier, your breath catches in your throat. There’s just something about the pale pants and the light blue dress shirt he’s wearing that makes him seem even more attractive than you’ve always found him. Maybe it’s the way the fabric stretches on his chest, revealing his hard-earned muscles. Or maybe it’s the vulnerability in his gaze.
He doesn’t seem more comfortable than you in this crowd.
“You smile,” you throw back at him, and he immediately does, a low laugh shaking through him.
“Do you want something to drink?”
You look down at yourself, wincing. “I’m afraid I’ll ruin the dress.”
“So you’re just going to stand still the whole evening because you’re afraid to ruin your clothes?” he teases.
You clench your jaw, rolling your eyes. “Precisely.”
“Loosen up, peach,” Jungkook insists, and there’s something in the way he says it that makes you think maybe he needs you to.
Maybe he truly does need your support at this fancy party. So you find yourself accepting to get drinks, and you’re almost done with the first glass when Jungkook tenses next to you, freezing like a deer in headlights. 
His doe eyes are on the doors, and you look in the direction to see an older woman and man walking in, the woman’s hand on her husband’s arm. You see a little bit of Jungkook in them - the woman’s eyes are Jungkook’s, and the man has the same nose and lips - so you immediately know that they are Jungkook’s parents.
The woman scans the room, and her eyes stop on you. In the distance it’s hard to tell if she looks happy to see her son - she barely even reacts, though she tugs her husband in your direction. You glance to Jungkook, but he really does seem frozen.
“Are you okay?” you ask, resting a hand on his arm.
He startles, toying with his piercings with his tongue before nodding curtly. “All good.”
You look towards his parents, and they’ve already crossed half of the room.
“Is that…” you trail off, knowing how rhetorical the question is.
“Yep.”
“What should I do?” you ask, tugging on his arm.
His eyes snap to you, and they’re void of the warmth you usually recognize in them. They’re like chips of ice - empty, cold, and something aches in your chest.
“Just be yourself.”
You offer him a small smile. His gaze is quick to drop to it, and you see the moment it warms. You see the moment he realizes he’s not alone, not right now, even though this is all but a subterfuge.
You’re not his girlfriend, but you’ll sure as hell try to be the best friend you can be for him right now.
“Jungkook,” his mother says as she stops in front of you, and your gaze slides to her.
She looks regal, standing ramrod straight with a steely look on her face. She spares you a quick glance, cocking an eyebrow before resuming her attention on Jungkook.
“Mother,” Jungkook replies in the same cold, formal tone.
“Glad to see you came around and decided to come.”
Jungkook doesn’t reply, but he wraps an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer. “I wanted to introduce Y/n to the family.”
Heart beating out of your chest, you look up to Jungkook, observing the firm set of his jaw. He seems determined, like a man going into battle, and you wonder if that is what it is.
If Jungkook brought you here to rile his family up.
His mother finally truly takes you in, her eyes skimming over you. “I don’t think we know each other,” she says, and there is so much contempt in her voice you furrow your brow.
“I don’t think so,” you answer, trying to sound as polite as you possibly can. You bow your head, meeting her gaze when you straighten. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Jungkook’s father pats his wife’s hand. She lets him go, almost reluctantly, and he walks away, heading to a group of men that seem far too happy to see him.
You wonder if you should take offence to him walking away when you just tried to introduce yourself, though the way Jungkook is staring at his mother lets you know that the true opponent of this battle is the woman in front of you, and not the man that just left.
“Likewise,” she replies, and this time she doesn’t hide the contempt from her voice at all. It drips to her features, and she scrunches up her nose in disgust, looking down at the high heels you’re wearing.
A simple pair of high heels you’ve bought for your high school prom, that you’ve been reusing whenever you have the occasion.
“Nice shoes,” Jungkook’s mother says, and you can tell that she means it as an insult. 
You clench your jaw, cocking an eyebrow as you get ready to reply, but Jungkook intervenes with a stern, “Mother.”
“You thought dressing her up in a nice dress would make us forget that she’s not from our class?”
The insult is stark, and you widen your gaze as your heart rate spikes, your blood heating up in your veins.
“Excuse me?” you let out, unable to resist.
Jungkook’s mother meets your gaze. “At least she’s got a tongue on her.”
“And I’ll ask you to make a fucking effort for once,” Jungkook spits.
She frowns. “Do not curse, boy. It doesn’t suit you.”
He laughs, a short, dry sound that makes the hair dress on your arms. She clenches her jaw, a muscle feathering under the skin, and you wonder where Jungkook learned to be warm. Where he learned to smile like he’s lighter than a feather, like he’s never known any atrocities. Because standing here, you realize just how cold his upbringing must have been like.
And it’s strange. The little boy in the picture on his bedside table was all smiles, eyes crinkling with joy. You’d assumed the picture had been taken by his parents, but now that you’ve met his mother, you highly doubt she’s ever been the source of a smile on Jungkook’s lips.
While you’ve been thinking, Jungkook and his mother were stuck in a staring contest, a battle of will that Jungkook wins. Indeed, his mother sighs deeply and then turns towards you again.
“Where do you come from?” she asks.
You gulp under the scrutiny of her gaze, yet give her the answer.
“What do your parents do for a living?”
You tense, for that is an answer that even Jungkook doesn’t know. 
“My mother is a nurse,” you reply. You feel Jungkook’s curious gaze on your profile, but you resist glancing at him. “And I do not know my father.”
Jungkook’s mother blinks once, and then she focuses on her son. “Junghyun will be happy you came.”
She leaves without saying another word, and you’re left staring at her retreating form, wondering if it’s just you or if she’s the rudest person you’ve ever met.
“I apologize for this,” Jungkook says, and his arm drops from your shoulder.
You immediately miss it.
“I think I’m starting to get why you wanted me to come with you,” you say, and you finally meet his gaze.
He’s slightly pouting, lips barely jutting out, yet there’s something endearing about the expression on his features. “I honestly didn’t think she would be flat-out rude like that.” He downs what’s left of the champagne in his flute and then puts it down on the tray of a server as she walks past. “I promise we can go home as soon as Junghyun shows up and sees that I came.”
“We can stay longer too,” you reassure him. “I can handle the aristocracy.”
The frown on his features melts, and he lets out a small laugh. “The aristocracy?”
You nod. “Yeah. Because obviously we aren’t from the same class.”
“Fuck, peach,” he grumbles, shaking his head, yet there’s an amused sparkle in his gaze that makes you feel warm all of a sudden.
It’s like you forget all about his mother, and about his avoidant father. It soon becomes clear that he is avoiding Jungkook, not you, and you feel bad for the man beside you. 
He deserves a family that treats him better than the one he has, or so you believe. And it’s not like you know them at all - the dynamic is just off, and it’s unlike what you’ve personally known growing up.
If you forget about the fact that you don’t have a father and that your mother worked so much while you were growing up that you barely saw her.
Junghyun and his fiancée show up an hour later, fashionably late. You and Jungkook have been drinking more, and you feel buzzed from the alcohol, warmth swimming through your body. It’s only amplified every time you meet Jungkook’s gaze, every time he tugs you a little closer, and you think you’ll be drunk by the end of the evening, just because of him.
He’s inebriating after all.
Junghyun notices his brother across the space, and unlike his parents, his face breaks into a large grin, one that resembles that of Jungkook, and he immediately makes his way towards you. He’s much more relaxed than his parents, with an easy going vibe to him, and the way Jungkook relaxes makes you think that Junghyun, contrary to his parents, is not an asshole.
“You didn’t tell me you were coming,” Junghyun says as he stops in front of you, immediately pulling Jungkook into a tight embrace.
Jungkook beams under the attention of his older brother. “I thought it’d be a good surprise.”
“It sure is,” Junghyun agrees as he pulls away. His eyes slide to you, and you offer him a tentative smile that he easily reciprocates. “And you are?”
“My girlfriend,” Jungkook says before you have time to say your name. “From college.”
Junghyun nods, meeting your gaze again. “Nice to meet you.”
You echo the sentiment as his fiancée - Nara - stops next to Junghyun, politely greeting Jungkook. 
You end up speaking with the pair for a little while. They both are a lot more welcoming than Jungkook’s parents, and Jungkook seems to be vibrating with happiness by the time they have to move away, needing to greet the other guests in the room. Meanwhile the sun has set outside, and you take a moment to admire the view as Jungkook goes to grab a refill for you both.
“I must admit he has a lot of nerves to bring you here,” a voice says next to you, and you turn to notice his mother, her arms folded on her chest.
Though your heart skips a painful, anxious beat in your chest, you only face the world outside again. “And why is that?”
She scoffs. “He’s technically engaged to someone.”
The world stops turning, and you glance at his mother. She sports a small, wicked smile, like she knows Jungkook didn’t tell you.
“What do you mean?” you can’t help but ask, your hands turning clammy.
She shrugs. “His father and I have discussed it with another family. We’ve deemed it better if they marry.”
“Does he even know her?” you spit.
She chuckles condescendingly. “Look at you. You really think you fit in our world? Your mother clearly hasn’t raised you for it.”
You fully face Jungkook’s mother, nails digging in your palms as you clench your fists. “I’ll have you know that my mother raised me well, and raised me to know privilege where it is. Just because you happened to be born rich doesn’t make you any better.”
Her gaze widens, and you see Jungkook walking back towards you, two glasses of champagne in hands. He notices his mother, a muscle feathering under the skin of his jaw, and you don’t care to stay next to her before you start heading his way.
You meet in the middle of the room, and you wonder if your vision has grown blurry. You only understand your eyes have filled with tears when Jungkook curses under his breath, glaring at his mother over your head.
“What did she tell you?” he asks, voice gentle.
You shrug. “Nothing,” you lie, blinking the tears away.
But she didn’t tell you nothing, did she? 
“I’m really sorry,” he apologizes. “She’s…”
“It’s whatever,” you insist, interrupting him. “I just want to spend time with you.”
You just want to spend time with him because you’ve learned he’s technically engaged, if his mother wasn’t lying.
Does he even know it?
You successfully blink your tears away as Jungkook hands you a champagne glass, which you down in one long gulp.
“I’m flattered, peach,” he teases.
The champagne bubbles down your throat, and you swallow with a scrunch of your nose. When you’ve finished the glass, you hand it back to Jungkook, who takes it with one eyebrow cocked. He looks like he wants to say something, but then his brother starts to speak with a mic. The room ushers to silence, forcing everyone to listen to the speech. Jungkook’s frowning, eyes still on you, but after a few seconds he turns to look at his brother.
You wish you’d be able to listen to the speech, to focus on it, but all you can do is keep on blinking back the tears from snapping at Jungkook’s mother.
Here’s to making bad first impressions. 
And it’s not like it truly matters - you’re not even Jungkook’s real girlfriend. You’re just a friend, someone he brought along as a shield from his family. 
Or so you’re starting to realize. You can’t even blame him. If your mother was remotely similar to his, you’d always make sure to go home with someone to support you. 
The least you can do is be that for Jungkook.
When Junghyun finishes his speech, his fiancée moves closer to him, and they share a sweet embrace that looks a little too practiced for it to be genuine. Or it might just be you - if it had been you in their position, you’re pretty sure you would have wanted to kiss your fiancé stupid. But then again, you reckon it might be improper in this social class.
Jungkook’s mother might have a point - you really weren’t raised to know how to act around rich people.
Except Jungkook, that is, but that’s because you didn’t know he was rich before yesterday, and you doubt he cares anyway.
“Are you hungry?” Jungkook asks as servers start walking around with different appetizers, all of them looking far fancier than anything you’ve eaten in your life.
“Huh,” you let out as one of the servers stops next to you. “What’s this?” 
“Crab cakes,” the server answers, flashing you a quick, polite smile.
You glance at Jungkook. “I’m allergic to seafood.”
He snorts, and then wraps an arm around your shoulder. “Let’s go find something that doesn’t have seafood in it.”
You end up finding small vegetarian burgers, and though they are barely bite-size, you enjoy a couple of them despite their dryness. It’s not enough to satiate your hunger, and especially not enough for Jungkook, so when he suggests going out to a restaurant nearby, you jump on the occasion to say yes.
“Then wait for me here,” Jungkook indicates, and to your surprise he kisses your forehead before slipping away, heading towards where you can see his brother and father conversing. While he speaks to them, probably explaining that you’re going to go eat somewhere else, you admire the view again.  Cars zoom down in the streets below, each and every one of them carrying a different person with their own little life.
You feel small so high over the city. It’s sobering, and you feel like your mind is clearing from the buzz of the alcohol, from the remnants of the guilt you had for snapping at Jungkook’s mother. 
You glance over your shoulder, eyeing Jungkook as he stands as if frozen, his brother speaking in his ear. Junghyun slides his gaze to you, and you offer him a tentative smile that the man ignores. You’d even think that his eyes harden, but it’s hard to tell in the distance. Especially as he pulls away from Jungkook, claps his shoulder once and then walks away, his father in tow.
Jungkook doesn’t move for a few seconds, and you wonder what it is that Junghyun said. Because the moment Jungkook turns and you see the look on his face, you know it must have been something harsh.
Jungkook looks like he wants to cry. It’s so vulnerable, so different from his usual cocky persona that you immediately make your way towards him.
“Are you okay?” you ask.
Jungkook just blinks looking at you, his eyes shining from unshed tears. You grab his hand, squeezing once, forgetting all about his mother being an asshole to you. No, all there is right now is Jungkook, and you want to make sure he finishes this evening with a smile on his face.
He deserves it after all.
“Hey, so where’s that restaurant you mentioned?” you query, switching tactics. 
Jungkook keeps looking at you for a few seconds, but he soon blinks a couple of times more, taking a deep breath. “Let’s go.”
He pulls you behind him in the crowd, and you don’t know what look he has on his face, but people literally jump out of the way. He’s walking quickly, and you struggle to follow him, but you know he needs to leave.
You’ve seen the sorrow in his gaze, and you don’t blame him for wanting to get away. Indeed, you just want to flee in the night too, and you’re thankful the moment the elevator doors slide to a close after you’ve retrieved your coats, and you’re finally left in a quiet silence of just you and him.
Jungkook looks at you, gaze heavy, and a second later he’s on you, hands cupping your cheeks as he backs you into the wall. You startle, yet you’re quick to melt in his touch, to kiss him back with the same intensity he offers you.
His tongue swipes at your bottom lip, and you let him in, moaning softly as he drives his knee between your legs.
You didn’t expect him to kiss you. Especially not when nothing happened last night, some sort of awkwardness lingering in the air from being in his childhood room. But he kisses you languidly, all tongue and lips, his piercings pressing indents in your lower lip, and warmth pools at your core as the elevator goes down and down.
Anyone could walk in and catch you kissing, yet it doesn’t deter Jungkook, and neither does it deter you. Indeed, it only spurs you more, and your hands drop to his waist so that you can pull him closer.
The moment ends when the door slides open to reveal the ground floor, and Jungkook steps away from you, eyes dark with lust and shadows you don’t want to interpret. He smooths his shirt, offers you a tight-lipped smile that makes your heart clench in your chest, and then he’s walking out.
You’re quick to follow him, cheeks burning as someone at the reception eyes the two of you. You ignore them, hoping they can’t see how your lips are swollen from the kiss, and you all but have to jog to catch up with Jungkook by the time he reaches the doors.
He holds it open for you, yet you can’t meet his gaze as you step outside. Not when the engagement party was such a shitshow, not after he kissed you like that only to leave without saying anything.
The bustle of the New York City life engulfs you as you step out on the street, Jungkook in tow. To your surprise, his large hands close around yours, and you glance up to meet his gaze.
“I’m sorry about…” he trails off, motioning over his shoulder.
You purse your lips. “About kissing me?”
The shadows partially lift in his gaze, warmth replacing them. “I’m not sorry about that at all,” he teases. “But I meant, about my family.”
“Don’t worry about it,” you reassure him, squeezing his hand. “I’m happy I could be there with you.”
He remains silent for a few seconds of you holding each other’s gaze on the sidewalk, and then he cracks a smile, though it doesn’t entirely reach his eyes. “What would I do without you, mmh?”
You laugh, and it sounds truer than it feels. “What would you do indeed?” you tease.
He chuckles, pulling you closer so that he can hug you. You wonder who needs it the most - him, or you? Because the second his arms wrap around you, you snake yours around his waist, hiding your face in his chest. He smells good - like Dior Sauvage, you think - and for a moment you just want to stay right here, in his arms.
Until his stomach grumbles, a low rumble against your cheek that makes you burst out laughing.
“Someone’s hungry,” you tease, looking up at him.
He meets your gaze, nodding once. “Peach, I’m fucking starving.”
That makes you laugh even more, lifting the heaviness of the atmosphere somehow, and it’s with a smile tickling your lips that you make your way to the restaurant - a kebab place on the first floor of another skyscraper. You eat your fill, laughing around with Jungkook, doing your best to keep the shadows out of his gaze.
But they never fully lift, and you’re not close enough to him to ask what his brother told him that upset him so much. 
Mostly, you’re not close enough to ask him if he’s truly supposed to marry someone, or if his mother just said that to scare you off. It’s like walking a tightrope, and you’re one wrong move from falling to your death.
Yesterday, you would have said that Jungkook would catch you but today, the haunted look that creeps up on his gaze once in a while makes you think that perhaps he wouldn’t catch you at all. And though it saddens you, you don’t say anything.
You’ll have a better occasion later. 
At least that’s what you tell yourself as Jungkook loosely holds your hand after the restaurant, while you walk around aimlessly. He’s telling you stories about growing up, and if it wasn’t for the fact that he occasionally falls eerily silent, you’d think that he’s happy right now. He looks the part, beaming at you whenever your gazes connect, and it’s too easy to reciprocate.
You think it’s a good thing - you’re comfortable with Jungkook, even if the whole engagement party was weird. It only gets better when you near a club, and Jungkook stops with a mischievous look in his eyes that finally looks a lot more like the Jungkook that you know from college.
“Do you want to go clubbing?” he says.
You snort. “It’s not even nine pm.”
“And?” he presses.
“You want to go clubbing this early?”
He shrugs, grabbing your hand again to pull you towards the doorman. “We can sit and chat before the party starts.”
As a matter of fact, the party is already started inside the club. Indeed, it’s like you step in an alternate universe the moment you walk in, the crowd thick as they sway to the beat. You only understand that it’s a concert of some famous DJ when you’re stopped at the coat check because you don’t have any tickets.
To your luck, the girl informs you that there are a few tickets left, and you insist on paying since Jungkook bought you the overpriced dress you’re wearing.
The one you’ll likely ruin while partying.
The thought sobers you a little, up until Jungkook, buzzing with excitement, pulls you towards the bar after you’ve left your coats at the coat check.
“This is going to be fun,” he says over the loud music. 
You nod, though your mind is lingering somewhere back at the engagement party. “Are you okay?” you can’t help but ask.
Jungkook falls serious, clenching his jaw once. “It’s about my family, isn’t it?”
“Yes and no,” you say, worrying at some dry skin on your bottom lip. “I just want to make sure you’re okay. Tonight has been… weird.”
It’s unfortunately your turn to order, as the barman stops in front of you, and Jungkook quickly orders two gin and tonic for you both before resuming his attention on you.
“I know,” he agrees. “Family events are always weird around here.” He winces, shrugging his shoulders. “And if you want to speak about it, we can tomorrow. But right now I really just want to have a nice evening with you.”
He looks hopeful, lips jutting out in the trace of a pout, and his doe eyes hold so much softness you find yourself folding immediately.
He’s right - you want to have a nice evening with him too, and forget the shitshow that the engagement party was.
“Well then,” you say, offering him a corner smile that hints at mischief. “I hope you’re ready to party.”
He brightens, like the stars shining when there’s no light pollution. “Damn right, peach.”
The barman puts your drinks on the bar, and Jungkook hands you your glass. You grab the lime on the rim of the glass, squeezing it in the drink properly before dropping it amongst the ice cubes. Jungkook watches you, mirroring you after a few seconds.
“To partying,” you say, raising your glass.
Jungkook echoes, clinking his glass with yours and you both drink, the alcohol fresh and cold on your tongue. 
You linger by the bar long enough to finish your first drinks, talking about everything and nothing. By the time you’re taking your last sip, Jungkook is reminiscing about a party last semester, where Taehyung had tried hitting on a girl only to get rejected.
“He complained about it for weeks,” you remember. “Even though he was sleeping with…” You frown, unable to remember the girl’s name. “Honestly, I don’t know.”
Jungkook laughs. “Tae fucks around too much to remember everyone, I know.”
“As if you’re any better,” you tease, pushing him playfully.
He pouts, eyebrows bunching together as his doe eyes narrow. “I’m better now.”
“Are you?”
He moves closer to you, and your heart trips on itself in your chest as he rests his large hand on your waist, pulling you closer. “I definitely am.”
You don’t know who makes the move first. You just know that a second later, you’re cupping Jungkook’s cheeks, and his lips are on yours again. This time, he tastes of gin and lime, and a swipe of his tongue on your lower lip makes you sigh, your hands sliding to the back of his head to get lost in his soft hair. His hand rests flat on your back, as if to keep you from stepping away.
Like you would.
You don’t ever want to step away from Jungkook. Tonight, you think it doesn’t matter that he’s Taehyung’s best friend. It doesn’t matter that he is supposedly engaged to someone else. Right now, it feels like he’s yours - you’re foolish enough to believe that he is.
“Let’s dance,” Jungkook murmurs against your lips when he pulls away, his forehead resting against yours.
“Let’s grab something else to drink first.”
You grab Jungkook’s hand, pulling him closer to the bar again. He follows, his thumb soothingly rubbing circles on the back of your hand, and he doesn’t let go when you lean against the bar, attracting the barman’s attention.
“Are you up for some Jager bombs?” you suggest.
He smirks, looking downright devilish with the mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “I’d never say no to Jager Bombs.”
That’s how you find yourself downing two shots each, and you’re getting pretty tipsy by the time the show starts, and Jungkook pulls you onto the dancefloor. You dance and dance, the atmosphere electric, Jungkook’s laugh so contagious you think you might have caught a happy disease. Because you can’t stop smiling, you can’t stop laughing. 
It’s like the engagement party never happened and frankly, it’s what you needed. 
Jungkook pulls you closer in the middle of the crowd, kissing you languidly. You’re quick to kiss him back, to push your tongue in his mouth the moment his lips part to allow entry. He grunts in the kiss, in the intensity that takes on the two of you even though you’re in public.
You want him so bad. You’ve always wanted him badly, but right now it’s making your blood sing in your veins.
But the evening is young still, and so you return to dancing, your back pressed against Jungkook. You sway your hips to the beat of the music, and he guides your motions, head hanging low. He occasionally presses soft kisses on the side of your face, and your eyes flutter shut in contentment.
If you’d die right now, you think you’d die happy.
“Peach,” Jungkook whispers.
Your eyes flutter open as you glance at him. The intensity in his gaze makes you feel smaller than a speck of dust. “What?”
“Should we go home?” he asks.
You glance towards the scene, where the DJ is clearly in the middle of his set. “The show’s not over yet.”
“I know.” He nips at your jaw, and you tilt your head to the side to allow him access to your neck. He’s quick to press an open-mouthed kiss there.
You turn in his hold, finding his lips again. This kiss is hotter, like fire blazing bright, and you, too, want to head home. You want to get lost in him, in this moment of him being yours out in public like this.
“Fuck, JK,” you whisper when you pull away, breathing raggedly.
“What?”
“Kissing you like this, where anyone can see…” you trail off, glancing at the crowd.
Nobody is paying you any attention, yet you feel like you’re the center of the universe right now. Or maybe that’s Jungkook - he’s the center of your universe.
“It’s turning me on,” you finish in a breathy sentence meant just for him.
“Peach,” he says, voice low and husky. It ignites even more warmth inside of you, and you think you’re about to melt in his touch. “Then I’ll bring you here more often. I’ll show everyone that you’re mine, mmh?”
That you’re mine. You like the sound of those words in his mouth far too much, even though part of you wants to reply that you’re your own self, and don’t belong to anyone.
Perhaps you want to belong to him, and that in and of itself is a far too dangerous thought. But New York shines tonight, and you feel infinite.
You are infinite, as long as he’s by your side.
You stay for the rest of the DJ’s set, despite you both wanting to go home. Jungkook is touchy, yet respectfully so as you dance, never really touching you where you want him, but his hands lingering near every fiery spot in your body. The Uber ride home is spent in tense silence, as is the walk up to the elevators of his building.
He holds your hand through it all, refusing to let go, and you like it.
You like everything about this moment, right now. Like you’ve stepped into an alternate universe where you really are his, and you pray you’ll never have to leave.
The elevator doors slide open, and Jungkook pulls you in. You’re disappointed when you notice a middle-aged woman already riding the elevator from the underground parking lot, and Jungkook politely nods to her as he presses the button for the highest floor.
Fortunately, the woman gets off on the eighth floor, and you’re left alone with Jungkook. He’s quick to spring into action, pushing you back against the wall so that he can steal a languid kiss of tongues and lips, of getting lost in him until you fully lose touch with reality.
“Fuck,” you breathe as Jungkook leaves a trail of hot kisses from your jaw to your neck. 
He sucks a hickey below your ear, and you can’t help but moan lightly as you drag your hands through his hair, leaving it dishevelled.
The doors of the elevator slide open, and Jungkook startles, taking a step back from you. One glance down reveals the proof of his attraction for you, and you really are aflame, burning from the inside out.
“I need to take a shower,” you say. 
A cold, cold shower, before you combust irreparably.
“Okay,” Jungkook lets out, and he grabs your hand again to pull you to the door. 
You don’t know how he does it, but he refrains from kissing you when you’re in. You’d expected him to jump on you - you practically wanted him to - but Jungkook, ever so the gentleman, only leads you inside and to his room. 
You take in the city skyline, the beauty of being so high you feel like you’re flying. The city sparkles, lights shining on and on, and you glance at Jungkook.
His eyes shine with undiluted lust and another emotion you can’t quite put your finger on. You just know it’s ten thousand times better than the shadows that had lingered in his gaze after the engagement party, and you want to cling to it.
“Do you want to take a shower with me?” you suggest as he helps you out of your coat.
“Want me to wash your hair?” he teases, flicking your nose.
He’s your Jungkook again, and an excited thrill goes through you. 
“Yes,” you say, smirking. “Maybe if you’re nice I’ll wash your back.”
He narrows his gaze, though his lips curve upwards. “I’m always nice.” He puts your coat away in the walk-in wardrobe, emerging without his own coat, too.
“Are you?”
You let out a yelp as he bends to pick you up bridal style. “Always,” he says, pecking your cheek once as you wrap your arms around his neck.
“You scared the shit out of me,” you grumble as he carries you to the bathroom, putting you down on the counter. 
“I’d say I’m sorry but I’m not even a little bit sorry,” he teases, and he steals a quick kiss on your lips before stepping away from you to turn on the shower.
You watch him as he does so - he’s beautiful, with his dishevelled hair and big doe eyes he casts on you as he glances over his shoulder. He’s still smiling, his features so soft you can’t help but smile back, your heart fluttering in your chest.
“How hot do you want the shower to be?” he asks.
You smirk. “What kind of hot are you talking about?”
He rolls his eyes, though his light laugh fills the air. “Water temperature, dummy.”
“Doesn’t matter,” you say, shrugging your shoulders. “Just put it how you like it.”
He nods, and he does so, adjusting the settings until the multiple shower heads are on, and steam soon starts to waft out of the shower.
Jungkook walks back to you, toying with his piercings. You scan his features, lingering on his eyebrow piercing, and then spread your thighs so that he can step between your legs. He does so, wrapping his arms around your middle, and you rest your head on his shoulder.
“What are you doing?” you ask.
He picks you up, putting you down on the floor. “Gotta get you out of your dress, mmh?”
Your heart once again hitches in your chest, and goosebumps rise on your arms as Jungkook lightly brushes his fingers up your skin.
“Turn around, peach,” he tells you.
You obey, and you watch yourself in the mirror as Jungkook unzips your dress. There’s something so intimate about the moment that your pulse skyrockets, butterflies making a mess of your stomach.
Jungkook finishes unzipping the dress, and he pushes it off your shoulders, pressing a kiss on the naked skin he’s revealed on the back of your shoulder. You feel apprehensive, like he hasn’t seen you naked before, and you gulp as he lets go of the dress, and it falls to the floor to pool around your ankles.
“You know,” Jungkook breathes as you shiver, the air colder than you expect. Your nipples perk on your chest, and Jungkook is quick to wrap his arms around you so that he can tease the sensitive buds with his fingers. “Every time I see you, you get more beautiful.”
“Jk…” you breathe out, cheeks burning under the intensity of his gaze.
“It’s true,” he insists. He turns you around, his eyes lost in yours. “There’s something about you…” he trails off.
He never finishes the sentence as you stand on your tiptoe, pulling him down by the collar of his shirt. Your mouths collide, and you sigh against the plump softness of him, kissing him softly, tenderly. He kisses you back just as softly, his hands holding you by the waist.
“Peach…” he sighs.
Your eyes flutter open to find him already looking at you, and you do feel like the most beautiful woman in the world when he looks at you like that.
“I think you’re supposed to undress too,” you whisper.
He chuckles softly, taking a step back from you. “Wanna help?”
You gulp again, your throat feeling dry, yet you raise trembling hands in the space between you so that you can reach for the buttons of his shirt. You focus on the task at hand, on every inch of honey skin revealed by the buttons coming undone. Jungkook’s intense gaze doesn’t leave your face as you undress him, and soon you’re pushing his shirt off him, resting your hands flat on his chest.
His heart is racing under your palms, the only indication that this is affecting him just as badly as it’s affecting you.
You meet his gaze as he takes charge of taking off his pants, and soon they’re on the floor with your dress and his shirt, and you both stand in your underwear, gazes embracing.
“I’m so going to take my time with you tonight,” he breathes, cupping your cheek. His thumb gently swipes at your skin, and you instinctively lean your head into his palm.
“Yeah?” you let out.
He tilts your head back with a finger under your chin, and then he’s kissing you again, as if to prove it to you with actions rather than words. “Definitely,” he says the second he pulls away. And then his hands go down your body, slowly, finding the hem of your panties. “Can I take this off?”
You nod, and he drops to his knees. Your eyes widen, yet he only busies himself with taking your underwear off, helping you step out of it once it’s around your ankles. He gets up again after, and he pushes his boxers down.
You’ve been avoiding looking at the obvious bulge in his underwear, but his dick stands proud and tall the second you glance down, already leaking precum. 
He’s been wanting you badly, and it shows.
“Shit, Jungkook,” you breathe.
“I know,” he lets out. “I’m fucking hard for you.” He chuckles, and grabs your face to force you to meet his gaze again. “From the mess I saw in your panties, I know you’re already soaked for me too.” He pecks your lips, and then your forehead. “But shower first, right?”
You kiss again, and this time he sucks your lower lip into his mouth, teasing it with his teeth.
“Shower first,” you repeat the second you pull away.
He smirks, winking at you, and then he walks over to the shower, leaving you there with your heart beating out of your chest. You take a deep breath, trying to tame the wild beats, and soon enough you follow Jungkook, right when he steps in the shower. He holds the glass door open for you, closing it behind you once you’re in, hot water splashing you.
You face Jungkook, and he looks at you with his head tilted to the side, a smirk playing on the corners of his lips.
“What?” you ask.
“Nothing,” he answers. “Pass me the soap?”
You nod, gulping, and you look away from him to find the soap. You grab it, handing it to Jungkook, and he gently takes it out of your hands.
“Turn around,” he tells you for the second time tonight. “I’ll wash your back.”
“Shouldn’t you start with my hair?” you ask.
He chuckles. “So bossy. Wet your hair then.”
You obey, and soon enough Jungkook is rubbing shampoo on your scalp, and your eyes flutter shut as you relax into the touch. He rinses your hair when he’s done, and then takes care of the conditioner.
“You like being pampered, don’t you?” he teases.
“Only if you’re the one pampering me,” you fire back. 
He laughs, and he presses a soft kiss on your forehead again. “Then I guess I need to pamper you more.”
You’re falling. You know exactly what’s happening, and you wonder if he feels it too.
“Let me take care of you,” you say once Jungkook is done with washing your hair.
He smiles down at you, nodding once. “Okay.”
And so you wash him, cleaning his back first. You teasingly rub his ass, and Jungkook throws you a glare over his shoulder that makes you burst out laughing. Once you’re done he turns around, and you gently rub his chest, a smile still curving your lips upwards as you fall in comfortable silence.
He isn’t so hard anymore. Yet, when your hands get lower on his abdomen, his dick twitches, and he’s quick to get hard again. You cock an eyebrow, looking up at him.
“I barely touch you and this is how you react?” you tease.
He grabs your jaw, his grip firm. “And now you’ll clean my dick too, won’t you?”
You blush, nodding once as he lets go of your jaw to cup your cheek instead. You wrap a hand around the base of his dick, and then you stroke him once. His lips part, and he pulls on his piercings before looking down at himself. 
“Let me…” he trails off, and you nod, stepping away from him to let him clean himself. You quickly wash yourself as he does so, cheeks burning so much you wouldn’t be surprised if you were purple.
Once you’re both cleaned, you face Jungkook again, and he offers you a soft smile. Unable to resist, you look down at his dick, reaching for him again.
“Now that you’re clean…” you let out, and you smirk. “Maybe I can actually take care of you?”
You don’t know where the courage comes from, but you’re not going to waste it. Indeed, you immediately drop to your knees, and Jungkook redirects the shower heads away from your face.
“Yeah?” he lets out. “You want to suck me?”
You nod, biting your bottom lip, and then you jerk him off once, eyes moving to his dick. It’s pretty, though not as hard as he was earlier, and you tentatively swirl your tongue around his tip, before sucking on it lightly.
Jungkook curses under his breath, leaning a hand against the wall as if looking for support. “Don’t be shy,” he says.
You smirk again, and this time you drag your tongue on the side of his dick, from base to top, before wrapping your lips around him again. You hollow your cheeks as you take most of him in your mouth, and Jungkook moans softly when he hits the back of your throat.
“Shit…” he lets out.
You suck harder as you pull almost all the way off, and then you truly get to work, eyes fluttering shut as you suck him, jerking him off in time with the motions of your head. Jungkook holds your head, letting you set the rhythm you feel comfortable with, and soon you’re moaning on his dick, the vibrations making him curse.
You take him all the way in, looking up at him despite the tears blinding your gaze. He’s got his head thrown back, lips parted as he breathes heavily, chest moving rapidly. You wonder if you’d be able to make him come like this, and you suck harder, holding in the gag reflex that’s threatening to interrupt your ministrations on him.
“Peach,” he moans, and then he pulls out of your mouth.
A string of spit connects his tip to your lips, and you’re quick to lick at it, to taste the precum that’s dripping from his slit.
“That feels good?” you ask.
He nods. “Way too much,” he replies, chuckling breathlessly. “I’m going to fall in love with your mouth if you keep sucking me like that.”
You don’t need more to spur you into action, and you go back to sucking him, pouring everything you have in the action. His dick gets harder and harder in your mouth, and you know he has to be close. So you tentatively tease his balls with your free hand, and he moans as you squeeze lightly.
“Peach,” he lets out, and it sounds whiny. “Stop. I want to fuck you now.”
You pull out, offering him an innocent pout as you keep jerking him off quickly. “You don’t think you’d be able to go for round two?”
He chuckles, slightly shaking his head. “Not when I drank. And I really just want to make you feel good too.”
Only for that reason do you let him pull you up to your feet, and you reluctantly let go of his dick as he pushes you against the tile wall, mouth immediately finding yours in a ravaging kiss. You moan as he pushes his tongue in your mouth, and you go back to jerking him off, unable to keep your hands off him.
He hisses as he pulls away from the kiss, and then he glances towards his discarded pants on the floor beyond the glass door of the shower. “I have condoms in there,” he reveals, and then he meets your gaze again. “But you deserve better than to be fucked in a shower, mmh?”
You gulp, nodding once as he steals another quick kiss on your lips, and then he turns off the shower. You stand in the steam for a few seconds, holding each other’s gaze, and then Jungkook pulls you out of the shower, wrapping a towel around you. 
You’re quick to dry yourself, lust and desire clouding your mind, and you don’t hesitate when Jungkook grabs your hand, pulling you towards his bedroom. The walk-in is cold as you step out of the bathroom, but you busy yourself with watching the strong muscles of his back, and the tattoos on his arm. It’s distracting enough, and soon Jungkook turns to face you again, kissing you deeply before pulling away.
“Do you want me to close the curtains?” he asks as he steps away from you, enough so that your eyes fall to his erection.
“You think people can see us?” you let out, casting a quick glance towards the tall windows, and the city beyond.
“Maybe, if they’re looking up here,” he says, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s never bothered me, but I’ve never been with anyone in this bed, so…”
Your gaze widens. “You’ve never fucked here?”
You think it’s blush creeping on his cheeks as he scratches the back of his neck. “I’ve never brought a girl here at all.”
You let out a nervous laugh. “I’m sorry what?”
He winks at you, eyes going down your frame. They stop on your perked nipples, and he toys with his piercings.
“You’re the first girl who’s ever come here,” he says. “The first one I’ll fuck in this bed. And maybe I do want the city to see me fucking you. I want them to see how beautiful you are when you come.”
You’re speechless as he strolls towards you, and his mouth collides with yours, his lips moving like he’s a starved man against yours. He pushes you towards the bed, and you fall on it the second the back of your legs hit it. He looks at you, wetting his lips, and then winks.
“I’ll be right back.”
He disappears back into the walk-in, and you prop yourself up on your elbows to watch him as he retrieves a condom from his wallet. He inspects the tinfoil package on the way back, making sure that the condom is safe to use, and then he rips it open, pulling the condom out.
He puts it on, rolling it down his dick as you watch with your heart beating wildly again as it knows what’s to come.
No one has ever fucked you as good as Jungkook, and you can tell he won’t disappoint tonight either. No, the intensity in his gaze can’t be mistaken, and the second he kneels between your legs you spread your thighs wide open, offering yourself on a silver platter.
“Already?” he teases, and he strokes himself slowly. “I thought you’d need a little bit of foreplay before.”
“Trust me,” you let out. “I’m already wet enough for you to rearrange my guts.”
He smirks, and he moves closer, close enough to rub his dick on your folds. “You are.” He says it like he’s surprised, but the second he starts rubbing his dick on your clit you’re gone, unable to form logical thoughts. “So you want me to fuck you? To rearrange your guts?”
“Jungkook,” is all you can reply.
He teases your folds again, pushes in just enough for his tip to part them. “Tell me what you want, peach.”
“I want you,” you say, and you don’t care how whiny you sound.
You feel like you’ll die if he doesn’t fuck you into oblivion.
“Where?” he asks, and he pulls away to rub his dick on your clit again.
You clench your jaw, reaching for his dick, but Jungkook is quick to grab your hand with his free one, pinning your wrist over your head.
“Be nice, mmh?” he says in your ear, and then he straightens.
“I want you inside of me, Jungkook.”
“Yeah?” He pushes in, though he stops when just his tip is in. “Like this?”
“Fuck, stop teasing,” you grumble.
Jungkook laughs, and a second later he slams home, his dick splitting you open as he pushes almost all of himself inside of you. You moan, your eyes fluttering shut, and he barely gives you time to adjust before he grabs your waist, and he starts pounding you, setting an unforgiving pace.
His thrusts are quick and hard, and you see stars almost immediately, your walls clenching around him. It doesn’t slow him down, only makes him readjust himself until he hits a better angle, and you moan loudly as he drags against the sweetest spot inside of you.
“Jungkook,” you moan.
He bends down, slowing just long enough to lean on his elbow, and then he holds your shoulders as he jackhammers into you again, so hard his bed bangs into the wall repeatedly.
There’s no one to hear you fucking here. And he knows it - it’s like he’s keen on rearranging your guts, and you’re a whining, moaning mess as he fucks you hard. You hold onto his back, nails digging in his skin and Jungkook grunts in your ears as his pace never falters.
You know he’s got good stamina, but tonight feels different, like he’ll fuck you until the sun rises.
“Shit, peach,” Jungkook lets out, and he pulls out of you so suddenly you’re left gasping for air.
“Wh-” you start, but he flips you over, repositioning himself so that he can push inside of you again. 
He doesn’t move right away, instead massaging your ass cheeks as your walls clench around his dick, begging for more. He slaps your ass, not hard enough to hurt but enough to sting, and you clutch the bed sheets, pushing your hips back into him.
“You want some control, mmh?” he asks, and he pulls back just enough to allow you more movement.
It doesn’t take you long before you take advantage of it, fucking yourself back on him, rolling your hips when he hits your cervix. 
“You’re so big,” you let out on a whine. “So deep.”
“And you take me so well, peach.” He slaps your ass again, massaging the sting away. “Like your pussy was made for me.”
“It was,” you reply right away.
Jungkook thrusts once, and you rock forward on the bed from the intensity of his motion. Luckily for you, he was holding your waist, and so his dick doesn’t leave you empty.
“Good girl,” he says, so low it sounds like a growl, and then he’s back to pounding inside of you, and you’re a mess, trying to hold yourself together as you clutch the sheets.
Jungkook leans on one hand, snapping his hips into you again and again, and he wraps his free hand under you, blindly searching for your clit. The second he touches the sensitive bundle of nerves you moan loudly again, and he doesn’t need more to start rubbing figures on you, quick circles that send you into orbit so fast you barely realize your orgasm has hit you until you come down from the high, legs shaking as your vision keeps going in and out of focus.
Jungkook stops moving for a few seconds, bending down to press a feathersoft kiss on the side of your face. “You came hard,” he states.
“Holy fuck,” is all you can reply.
“One day, I want to feel you come on my dick without a condom on,” he says, and then he’s fucking you again, though this time he’s clearly chasing his own high.
Yet it feels good, far too good, and you come again - did you actually stop coming in the first place - as he rams his hips into yours. Jungkook milks it out of you, whispering filthy praises to you all along, and once he’s sure you’ve calmed down, he pulls out, flipping you on your back again.
He steals a kiss on your lips as he pushes in again, and this time he fucks you slower, deeper, lips never leaving yours. You lose trembling hands in his hair, run them along his back, and you wrap your legs around his waist for him to fuck you deeper. He doesn’t disappoint, and you take all of him in you as he pushes in, and then pulls almost all the way out.
“I’ll fall in love with your pussy,” Jungkook whispers against you. 
He rests his forehead against yours, and your heart fills with far too many emotions - none you can voice. 
“JK…”
“Peach,” he answers in the same tone, and then he kisses you again. The second he breaks from the kiss he straightens, going back to kneeling between your legs. “Now be nice and let me come, mmh?”
“Come for me.”
“On it.”
You don’t know when he comes. All you know is that you’re swimming in far too much bliss when he starts fucking you hard again, and you lose touch with your body. It’s like you’re floating somewhere close to the ceiling, or maybe amongst the stars up above. You’re floating, and Jungkook grunts and curses as he fucks you, his motions growing sloppier, and soon he stills deep inside of you, hands holding your waist as he releases loads and loads of cum in the condom.
You wish he’d come inside of you so you’d feel it drip out of you when he pulls out. It’s a dirty thought to have, yet you can’t help it - not when you’re literally swimming in ecstasy, feeling like you’re buzzing.
Jungkook lies down next to you, resting a hand on your stomach as you try to regain your breath. It takes you a while - long enough for him to kiss the side of your face and promise he’ll be back as he disappears in the bathroom - but you do come down from the high, the bedroom and the city beyond the windows finally coming back into focus.
It’s raining. You didn’t realize it before, but raindrops are racing each other on the window, and you get lost admiring the view as Jungkook cleans himself in the bathroom.
He comes back with a wet washcloth for you to clean yourself, and you thank him as he offers it to you. You know you have to go pee before you sleep though, so you brave the walk to the bathroom, legs feeling like jelly under you. You manage to make it to the bathroom and back, and Jungkook welcomes you back into bed with a tired smile on his lips.
“Come here,” he says, and he opens his arms for you to nestle in his embrace.
You do so, pushing one leg between his as you wrap one arm around his waist.
“Feeling okay?” Jungkook asks.
“I think I’ll need weeks to recover,” you tease, and Jungkook’s answering laugh makes you feel like you’re the luckiest girl in the universe.
“Does that mean I can’t fuck you for a few weeks?” he asks, and you hear the pout in his voice.
It makes you smile against him.
“Mmmh,” you let out. “Nah, I want you to fuck me like this again tomorrow.”
He laughs again, and his arms tighten around you. “Then we better get a good night of sleep. We need to drive back home tomorrow.”
Back home. Together. Because, even if he’s Taehyung’s best friend, which you’ve conveniently forgotten all weekend, he’s also your roommate.
You share a home, and you think there’s beauty in that thought.
You yawn, nuzzling your face in his chest. “I don’t know about you but I’ll sleep like a rock.”
“And snore?”
“I don’t snore,” you answer, frowning slightly.
Jungkook chuckles and then kisses the top of your head. “You snore a little. Not as much as me though.”
“Tell me about it,” you complain, even though his soft snores had acted like white noise yesterday, helping you fall asleep despite the unfamiliar environment.
He yawns, pulling even closer. “Peach?”
You hum in answer.
“Thank you for this weekend,” he whispers. “I don’t know how I would have done it without you.”
“Jungkook…” you trail off, wanting to argue.
“I’m serious,” he insists. “You’re…”
He doesn’t finish his sentence, and you pull away just enough so that you can look up at his face. “I’m what?”
“You’re you,” he answers, as if that explains anything.
And when you see the softness clinging to his gaze, you think maybe it does.
Prev | Chapter 8.5 | Next
☆☆☆☆☆
my two precious babies gosh we need to protect them at all costs fr :') did you guys like this chapter? Let me know what you think!
All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate.
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theminecraftbee · 5 months
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The moon has fully set over the horizon. The howling over the server has stopped. Four Hermits sit in a circle, staring just slightly away from each other, as to not be caught staring. Joe is miserably trying to wring mud out of his puppet. Stress isn't bothering about the mud at all but is despairing at how shredded her jumper is. Somehow, Zedaph has only lost a shoe, which is more concerning than any of the prior people. Xisuma is deliberately not checking himself. The damning lack of helmet on his head, though, means he can't avoid feeling how he underwent the same terrible transformation as everyone else.
"So," he says, finally.
"I could use pants," Joe says, finally giving up on washing out his puppet, and, ah. Yes. Those are pretty well destroyed, aren't they? Xisuma looks away politely, feeling his face heat up. It heats up more when he realizes everyone can see it, gosh, he's–he's not so sure how he feels about that–
"I think we all need pants. Look at us," Stress says, and if Xisuma can be looking away any harder, he sure is now. Wait, she said 'all', does that include... Oh, oh dear.
"Well I don't know about you, but I still have perfectly serviceable pants," Zedaph says imperiously.
"You know, if anything, that's weirder, given the way we were all giant wolves traipsing around in the night just now. Which is strange itself! However, wolves don't normally wear pants, so really, the fact the only article of clothing you've lost is your shoes is less miraculous and more actively impossible!" Joe responds.
"Well you're actively impossible," mutters Zedaph.
"My god, it was real," Xisuma says.
"Well, I mean, I sort of figured it had to be, what with the four of us being all covered in mud and tired and your helmet being gone and all that," Stress says.
"It was real," Xisuma says.
The four of them sit in silence a little longer. The sun continues its steady march upwards into the sky. It's April; the day is longer than the night, by now, so they aren't wasting but so much time compared to the time the moon was up. The time the moon was up feels a bit more like a dream than anything else, too; distantly, Xisuma wonders if this is what spiders feel like when they become angry during the night, or what drives the undead from the ground. It's a disquieting thought, and he'd literally lived in a skeleton!
"So," Joe says. "So. Which one of us is going to yell at Zedaph for biting us?"
"Rude!" Zedaph says. "Very rude, I'm not the one that bit you! You bit me! Xisuma bit me, actually, you all saw him!"
"What? No, I didn't!" Xisuma says. "Gosh, if I were a werewolf, don't you think you'd know by now?"
"Hm. Suspicious," Zedaph says.
"No?" Xisuma says.
"I mean, I'd try to claim it was my fault, what with being a monster and all, but I'm actually a different sort of beastie normally," Stress says. "Being all doggy is new for me. I should show Iskall. Hey, do you think I should bite Iskall?"
"Yes," Zedaph says.
"No," Xisuma says.
"I'll split the difference and say maybe," Joe says. "Also, since we're arguing about it anyway, I'll say that I think I'd remember if I bit someone, although maybe I wouldn't. It's been a weird night. Maybe I should just go ahead and get everyone apology gifts instead?"
"Please don't," Zedaph says.
"Aww, but I like his gifts," Stress says.
"Honestly, yeah, I was–no, Zedaph is right, it'd be too distracting," Xisuma says, thinking of many of the, er, gifts he's gotten from Joe in the past. "Besides, it's not your fault. But if none of us bit anyone, then why on earth are we all werewolves no–oh no."
"That was ominous?" Joe says.
"Oh. Ohhhhhh," Zedaph says. "Whoops."
"It was supposed to be a joke about investment bankers," Xisuma says.
"Wait, what, do you really think the silly name turned us into werewolves?" Stress says.
"I had other season plans, Xisuma!" Joe says.
"Hey, does that make me a sheep in wolf's clothing that's also a wolf that turns into a sheep that turns into a wolf? If so, neat," Zedaph says.
"Do you know how annoying it will be to get a werewolf puppet?" Joe says.
"Gosh, I absolutely have to bite Iskall now," Stress says.
Xisuma, for a moment, considers putting a stop to it. If it really is the silly name, the collective, the hats and the howls–if it really is the collective weight of story bearing down on all of them–then really, it's still so early that it would be very easy to stop.
Xisuma considers the competition the rest of the shopping district poses, and how easy it will be to move as a collective when they're also a pack.
Also, he hasn't actually been a wolf before. That's one mob he hasn't done!
"You should bite Iskall. I want to know what it does," Xisuma says, deciding that he's quite bored with being responsible and that if someone wants to stop it, it will have to be not him. "But, er, first, in the meantime, do you think he or Doc is better to ask for a helmet that'll grow to fit my muzzle instead of nearly trapping my skull?"
"Hm," Stress says. "Well, Iskall is pretty good at head electronics."
"Yeah, but Doc is a better choice for abominations against nature!" Joe says.
"What about me? I like abominations," Zedaph says.
"It's okay, Zedaph, it's just you don't make many helmets, is all," Xisuma says. "We'll run around being abominations of nature, gosh, most full moons together. Is that good enough?"
"Fine," Zedaph says. "I'm bringing the snacks. I have sheep, and I've always wanted to try cannibalism."
"I guess werewolves wouldn't have to worry about prions," Joe says, nodding.
"Well, if you're going to get Doc, I'm going to go bite Iskall. I know I don't got fangs right now but it'll be very funny either way," Stress says.
"Have fun!" Xisuma says, and even though he's still red, and no one has pants but Zedaph, and he feels vaguely sick without his helmet, he also feels something close to pure delight. Gosh. Werewolves, huh? What a concept, having a little pack. He'll have to make the most of it; they've already seen his face anyway, and not one of them have commented or looked him in the eyes. Clearly, it won't matter so much if Doc takes a while with the helmet.
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apocalypse-shuffle · 4 months
Text
BLACK NOIR | EARVING (the boys)
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“Just a Trim” (Black Noir x Gn!Reader)
| In a spur of the moment move you offer to do Earving’s hair in order to spend more time with him. To your shock, he takes you up on the offer.
| SFW, Noir being briefly insecure about his disfigurement, hair care, good vibes.
| 1k+ words
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Tomorrow was going to be a marked day. One of those dates that you held close to your heart and pulled out anytime you were even peripherally pressed about the event.
In passing Black Noir had mentioned his regularly scheduled grooming appointment. The hair that did still grow on his head would need a trim so he’d be offsite at a smaller Vought facility for a few hours.
You’d taken in his words, a mix between excitement that he felt it necessary to share his whereabouts at all warring with upset at how long he’d be gone (basically your whole workday) on the final day of the week you’d be able to see him until you were allowed back onto the upper floors in another four days.
It’s that heavy swirl of emotions that spurred your mouth into action and had, “I could trim it if you want,” falling past your lips unbidden.
He’d turned on deft feet at your words to stare you down from behind the mask, back ramrod straight and body still.
Finally, after maybe a minute of you waiting him out (the type of contemplative minute between you two that you cherished), Noir gave a slow nod of his head and pointed to two numbers on one of the recruitment posters on the wall next to you before marching off.
He’d indicated the numbers ‘two’ and ‘thirty’, and you’d never admit to anyone but him that you’d had a little bit of a bounce to your step after you’d registered what that meant.
So what if the thought of him allowing you into his hair had sent butterflies dashing through your bloodstream? It didn’t matter that he’d typically had what were no doubt unfeeling trims from Vought hired barbers either, because he had to know that you weren’t going to treat his hair with such clinical detachment.
You were going to be sharing some level of intimacy - he was going to let you be that intimate with him, period! - and you planned on treating this undoubtedly maskless milestone in your relationship with the appropriate amount of significance.
This was huge!
Holy hell you needed to gather your supplies.
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The top of his head is not devoid of similar scars as the ones that mar his face. A patch of gnarled scar tissue takes up a third of his scalp, scars running in their steep wiggling pattern and stopping any hair from growing.
The marks from the explosion still being so prominent even after all these years makes your heart squeeze painfully in your chest.
His interesting hair growth pattern is the first thing that drew you gaze when you’d entered. After your greeting he’d stared at you for a while, the note paper in his hand boldly proclaiming: ‘tell me if you want me to put it back on’, before he tossed the paper aside and ripped off his mask. For a moment all you’d been able to do was blink uncomprehendingly before realization dawned and you threw him a smile, or tried to since he’d kind of stopped looking at you entirely and has just been deathly still for the last minute or so.
After that you’ve forgotten yourself too much to not let your eyes wander, the white of his blind eye snagging your attention next and then the scars that crawled up the entirety of one side of his face and sprawled into his hair stole all of your remaining attention once more.
The scars are steep and plentiful and even the reports on his injury from back when he was originally caught by the explosive didn’t do even the sight of the scars left behind justice.
Finally, his expression registers and you cringe back and tear your gaze away from him entirely at the edges of the grimace you can see on his downturned face.
Way to go, you’ve gone and made the man uncomfortable.
“I’m ready when you are,” you say quickly, voice soft as you move further into his sparse personal space in the tower.
With a tentative two person shift and shuffle routine eventually you both end up settling down, you sitting towards the edge of the only lounge chair in his sitting room - bare feet planted flat on the unbelievably soft carpet - and Earving on the ground between your spread legs.
You don’t really talk much after that, preoccupied with getting his hair saturated with water so that it’s ready for you to detangle and stretch. The last thing you want to do is take length off of Earving’s hair that he didn’t want and skew his trust like that.
Up close his scarring is easier for you to map out as you brush your fingers over his wet curls with the finger of one hand, nothing but the edge of your pinkie on your other hand daring to press into his hairline in order to brace his head and keep it still.
Unthinkingly you stray from running over his curls to trace the border of the patch of skin between the scars on his head and the growth of his hair with your nail. The blunt point shifts fine hairs and barely applies any pressure as it goes but Earving shivers anyway.
The speed you snatch your hand back with jostles the both of you.
“Sorry!” Your voice comes out mostly squeak as you pull away even more, doing everything but straight up sailing across the room as your face heats up something fierce - though your cheeks show nothing for it - and your hands raise placatingly. “I’m so sorry. That’s on me. I wasn’t thinking—”
Your word vomit stops dead when Earving begins shaking his head and fully pivots his head up to look at you. From between your legs where he’s sitting down, stretched out legs crossed at the ankle in front of him and face on full display for you, he looks so damn unreal your words peter off like a dying engine.
Christ almighty if Earving didn’t look painful, but he was perfect all the same.
Watching the way he so readily faces you now with both his good and bad eye without obstruction and the tentative quirk of his lips, you shiver. So fucking perfect.
He shakes his head again, his functioning eye still meeting one of your similarly brown ones, and then leans forward to press a lingering kiss to the bend of your knee.
At no point does he stop holding your gaze.
A tiny noise falls from your lips and you watch, entranced, as a full lopsided smile takes over the bottom half of his face before he nuzzles into the brown skin on the inside of your thigh with another branding press of his lips.
“Earving,” you breathe, too close to choked up to regulate your voice anymore than that.
Your tone is incredibly transparent, but you can’t even be mad about it when he’s gazing up at you with such a sharp glimmer in his eye.
In response he wraps a tender hand around your ankle and taps lightly at your skin for you to continue before stretching his neck back until his damp hair is pressed to your stomach again.
Painfully aware of your closeness - and where his head is, good lord - you heed his request with far steadier fingers than before.
Y’all were good. He’s pretty clearly just shown you that, now you just had to let yourself believe it.
This time when you press against his head to shift him around as you work you’re not so tentative.
When you brush your free hand down his face to ease him into a better angle for you to pick out his hair he leans into your hold and strengthens it, his breath rushing over your fingers like a proclamation as you run the pad of your middle finger over the bow of his lip and the raised lines of his scars brand a claim into your palm.
When the teeth of the pick snag on a tight congregation of coils and you murmur a soft apology his thumb rubs circles into the ball of your foot and sends shivers up your dark skin.
When you’ve finally combed out his shrinkage and pulled out the well loved hair grade shears he responds to the shaky breath you take while lifting the blades to his head with a firm grip on your ankle and a strong squeeze to ground you.
The both of you move like this for the rest of the hour and by the end you’re trimming with steady hands and intermittently tipping Earving’s head up to blow away stray hair trimmings and press little kisses along his hairline just to draw out his telltale huff of laughter.
Sure, after this you’ll both go back to just being two people working in the same unfeeling company and Earving will go back to being Black Noir, one of the ever merciless gods that you were all little more than ants in the eyes of, but for now he pulls you up and you tug him down and y’all are able to come together like wayward nephilim to experience the finer things in life somewhere in the middle of all that hierarchical bullshit.
Just for an hour or two; trapped in your own little pocket of the world.
NOTES: Hope you enjoyed! Please mind any typos, I am but one lowly creature and my eyes can only catch so much.
I don’t know why this character is so amazing at being my impromptu spur of the moment muse, but he really is so good for it.
Also, lowkey I kind of feel like Noir would wear his mask all the time even if he’s wearing civilian clothes like Wade/Deadpool tends to do (and there might’ve been a Vought commercial of him wearing civilian clothing over his suit once so there’s also that option). I don’t know, the image just came to me.
btw: if you’d like to leave a comment I’d very much appreciate it!
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