#i thought since i have people that i get along with finally that maybe id manage a bit better you know?

[the-witch-of-one-piece]

Secrets Kept From Him 18+ Chapter 7: Threats Ran x F!reader x Draken WC:7k Resident: @enchantedforest-network Synopsis: Ran feeling the rage of knowing what you did with Draken. He was so consumed with his thoughts he began to think about the past. The confrontation between Draken and Ran, threats would be known but would Draken really stray away? The confrontation between Ran and you would lead his daughter to know who he is. It wouldn't be the only complication that would lead you to the club to confront Ran with serious news. Fearing for you and your daughter's life it would be in Ran's hands. Seeing the woman who was on the other line and feeling conflicted with Ran. Everything happening makes you feel overwhelmed with everything. Tw: Threats, strong language (swearing, guns, and death), anger, anxiety, hickeys, kissings, flashbacks, passing out, break-in, stalking, arguing, possessive behavior from Ran, paranoia (unedited)

Draken had the towel around his waist as he went to his dresser pulling out a shirt for you to wear. As you slid the shirt it was overly too big for you yet he enjoyed the sight of you in his clothing. Draken went into the bathroom to grab something else. You reached for your phone that was in your purse. Seeing a voicemail along with a few messages.  Listening to the voicemail as you walk into the living room. ‘What the hell...’  he was at your home that late. The voicemail was left about 2 hours ago.  When you pulled up the test message from him. ‘You with him aren’t you. Is my daughter with you both?.’

Knowing if you called him right now it would be an issue and you didn’t want to drag Draken into this being so late at night already.When Draken came out of the bathroom he saw you walking back into the room. “Everything alright?” he asked. 

“Yeah, I was gonna check on d/n but I realized it was already late. They are already asleep.”  Both of you laid in bed flicking the light off. He pulled you close to his chest, the side of your face. You could hear the steadiness of his heartbeat. Draken may have had a hunch something else was bothering you but you wouldn’t tell him. He could sense it could have been  because of Ran, but he  didn’t want to ruin this moment with you. His fingers work through your damp hair massaging your scalp. “I hope you enjoyed tonight.” Closing your eyes enjoying his fingers rubbing your scalp “I did, it's been so long since I’ve been on a date.” “I hope you don’t mind  going on more with me.” 

“I like the sound of that… You don’t mind going out with a single mom at all?” asking him. Hearing the mixture of pros and cons dating a single mom from other people and what they experienced.  

“It doesn’t bother me you being a mom ________. Some people may be bothered but I'm not one of them… D/n is your first priority. You're a mom first.”  She was your first priority, making sure she was safe and happy. 

~~~~~~~~~

Rindou watched his brother's foot tap on the floor as he sat down on the sofa. Ran looked around the club trying to avoid his thoughts of you being with Draken right now. It was becoming more evident to him when he thought about the conversation you both had. The way your body language spoke more than your words. “I know they slept together. The way she was acting when we talked she never acted this way with me. I’m losing her…” “Not if you get rid of the problem.”  Rindou leaning back on the couch. 

“Getting rid of him would solve a lot of issues…He still works at the shop right?”  Ran asked. His brother nodded  “I think I will pay him a visit after the meeting tomorrow. Obviously I need to make the message more clear to him about staying away from ________ and d/n.”

Ran felt his phone ringing, wondering if you were finally calling him back. Maybe a part of him wanted it to be you and it was you asking him for help if you got stranded somewhere or were anywhere else other than with Draken. Seeing the caller ID he closed his eyes for a brief moment. His stress level was high thinking he may need to release it. “Hello Ms. Yamaguchi…I could be better, have you ever got the feeling you wanna bash someone’s head in to relieve some stress??…really now… you don't say… what else now? Give me 20 mins I will be there.” he hung up his phone. At this point he needed something else to distract him even if it meant fucking someone to get the tension off of him. Using her body was just something temporary. 

Ran was making his way to her place when his mind began to wander to the day you left. That day since you came back repeated in his mind  more often than he wanted it. Just like a fresh wound that dishenced he replayed in his mind. 

~~~~~~~

“I will be back later on...” He cradles your cheeks with his hands. One of his hands bandaged up from an incident last night. He noticed you had a weary smile with his words. “You alright doll?” He asked

“I’m fine, just a little tired…I might just lay down and get some sleep.” You assured him. 

“Call me if you need me to come home okay?”

“Ran I’m fine” you softly chuckled.

“I love you” he kissed your forehead. 

“I love you too. Ran… please be careful? For me?”  

“Of course, aren’t I always?” he gave a small smile “Ran, I'm serious. Just these injuries could have been a lot worse than this.” “___________, please don’t worry about me. I know you worry but I can handle what I take on.” Ran reassured you many times like he has before in the past. “I will always come back to you.” He gave you a kiss on your lips before he left.

 Later in the night when Ran got home, the place was completely dark. You would often wait for him. Thinking you may have been asleep. Walking into the bedroom his eyes adjusting to the darkness to see the bed was untouched. “Where did she go?” flicking the lights on in the entire home he couldn’t find you. When he called you on the phone hoping you would pick up he would hear your phone ringing. Seeing it on the counter…. Ran’s heart dropped  he didn’t know what to do he began to internally panic not knowing if something happened to you. There was no trace of you or where you could have gone. 

He had called family and friends no one had heard from you. Ran began to think of one person who would know where you went. The same person that couldn’t have you. 

Draken was at work when he saw the eldest Haitani brother pull up to the shop. Ran never came to the shop unless it was with you.The two never really engaged in conversation with one another. There was that bit of tension other people noticed but it flew over your head. He looked annoyed looking over at Draken, Emma was visiting the shop to bring Draken lunch when she saw Ran.  “Where is she?” 

Draken was screwing a bolt on a bike when he heard the question. He held the wrench in his hand as Ran approached. The guys in the shop heard the question wondering what Ran was talking about. “Where is who Haitani?” Draken asked as they both were a few feet apart. 

“She is gone.” Ran looked at him. “Don’t act dumb tell me where she is.” 

Emma looked over at Draken “Draken what is he talking about?” 

“I don’t know what he is talking about.” Draken paused for a moment realizing the question “wait what do you mean she is gone?” 

“______ took off  last night. No one has seen her or spoken to her since yesterday. You're the only person she tells things to or what she is planning.”  Ran's face was serious as he and Draken looked at one another. 

“She hasn’t told me anything.” Draken found it odd you left without an explanation. Something must have happened for you to go to the extent of leaving the way you did. “What the hell did you do to her to make her leave?” Draken asked.

Emma looked over at Draken who had a stern expression on his face. Just in this moment she could tell he wasn’t over you.  Even after telling her many times, she just knew. Draken pushed aside his feelings after he found out about you and Ran dating. He started seeing you less than usual. He didn’t want to ruin what was making you happy even if you were with someone else. 

“What are you assuming now?” Ran responded  “you really wanna go there?” 

“______ wouldn’t just leave the way she did unless you did something you prick.” His hand was holding tighter on the wrench. “If you touched her I sw-“

“You would have liked that huh? So can you save her?” He let out a sarcastic laugh. “I would never have harmed her, you should know that by now…Such a bold move in front of your woman.” Ran looked over at Emma “how do you feel about that? Seeing how irked he got about MY girlfriend now.”  His attention went back to Draken. “If I find out you're lying about knowing where she is… you won’t see the last of me.”

“I would like to see you try.”  Draken spoke in a threat of tone. 

They both started down one another before Ran took off in his car. Draken looked over at Emma who was looking down on the ground. She was feeling insecure about their relationship. She walked away ‘shit’  Draken followed her. “Emma, wait.”  

He reached for her hand. The moment she turned around her eyes were filled with tears. “Draken, I need to go” 

He couldn’t leave her like this. He took her to the break room which was empty. “Emma, you know I love you.” He did love Emma and felt guilty for making her feel like this. 

“Do you  honestly do?” She wiped her eyes. She felt like an option of what Draken settled for instead of who he wanted to be with. 

He closed his eyes for a brief moment before responding “l do.” He held her close to him. Emma's arms wrapped around him. His chin was resting on the top of her head. Draken couldn’t come to terms he wasn’t over you. As obvious it was right now he saw it was hurting Emma. He wanted to make this work with her, being in love with someone who wasn’t his from the beginning and he needed to move on in his life. He needed to be happy as well. 

~~~~ 

In that same time frame Draken was thinking about that day. From that point on, time passed once his relationship with Emma felt strong and solid; he wanted that next step in making her his wife. He began thinking about the efforts he tried to put in his marriage. But it was never enough… resulting in divorce. Emma prolonged the divorce for months making it more difficult for the both of them. 

Just him being able to hold you in his arms right now he had hope this would take off from here. But the challenges would only start to rise. He wasn’t fully sure how much of you wanted to move on from Ran or how long this would last between you both. You and Ran share a daughter together and a lot of memories that you and Draken hadn’t experienced. He was willing to fight for a chance to be with you. 

“______ are you up?” He quietly spoke. When he didn’t hear you respond he assumed you were sleeping. “I love you.”

You heard the words coming from Draken. Your eye slightly opened but he was unable to see them due to the angle. You honestly didn’t know how to respond. The last person you told I love you was your daughter. The words I love you held so much meaning to you, you wouldn’t mean it unless you truly were in love with someone. Draken effortlessly saying it with no hesitation. 

Ran on the other side of the city the built up anger and stress he was feeling wouldn’t go away quick enough.  No matter how rough the sex was this time, he couldn’t get rid of the image of you sleeping with Draken. It only filled his anger more. Everything he used to do to you he was now thinking you were doing it with Draken. 

Even after the sex it wasn’t enough for him. Ran getting off the bed and went into his coat pocket pulling out a cigarette. Looking at the time it was 4:30 am, “I have to get going.” Ms. Yamaguchi held the cover over her naked frame “You might as well stay. It’s already late.” 

“I prefer just to leave…my day is going to be long.” Ran spoke. 

“You seem so serious.” she gathered her hair on one side of her shoulder 

“I have a lot to deal with right now.” Ran was quickly getting dressed. “It felt like it. You wanna talk about it?” Ms. Yamaguchi asked as she reached for her robe.  Walking towards him. “Ya know you just don’t have to come over and fuck my brains out only. I’m a great listener.” ‘Also the one that made this predicament I’m in more stressful’ he said to himself. “I don’t wanna worry your pretty little head with things in my life.” Ran smirked his hands brushing through his hair. “I’ll see ya later at the club.”

He will be attending the meeting with Nishimura in a few hours. He only managed to get a few hours of sleep. Meeting Rindou at their office in the club  “you look like shit.” Rindou looked at him.

“Let's just get this over with.” Ran took a seat next to his brother. 

The meeting went on, certain demands were requested before they restart their negotiations. Both Rin and Ran were aware of the missing truck and products that were taken; they wouldn’t tell them they were in their possession. “We can make sure that doesn’t happen this time. But our price will be higher than last time and we need the money upfront before we make the drops.” Rin spoke.

They both saw the group of men speaking before the head of the Nishimura family spoke “Very well we will make some arrangements for that but we expect to hold your end of the bargain on things.” “Of course we can handle it. Just let us know when you want us to deliver the shipments.” Ran spoke “I will have someone reach out to you both regarding our shipment. I think this wraps things up,  we discuss everything that needs to be discussed. Well gentlemen, pleasure doing business as always.” Exiting out of the meeting, Ran got up from the chair. Rin looked over at his brother, “Don’t do anything stupid now.” 

“We will see what happens. I can’t promise anything I know I can’t promise.” 

~~~~~

Draken brought you to the shop to pick up your car. Both of you got out of his car and he walked you over to your car. “Thank you for last night.” “You don’t need to thank me.” he responded “I’m glad you went out with me. Looking forward to the next one.” “Me too.” you smiled  

Draken looked over at the shop to see some of his co-workers looking his way but then turned around when he saw them. “I know you gotta get d/n. You should get going.” his hand reached for your cheek before pressing his lips onto yours. “Right, I will talk to you later?” you asked him.

He nodded “yeah.” Draken opened your car door for you and saw you leave down the road.

Walking to the shop “So still just friends?” Inui asked. “And I wasn’t going to come into the shop today.” Mikey responded. “I take it that things are going well.”  Was dropping by the shop to catch the moment between you and Draken. “The date went well, she had to pick up d/n.” “She stood over huh?”  Mikey leaned against the tool cart. 

“Of course she did. The mark on her neck would prove she did.” Inui looked over at Draken 

“That’s enough. Stop trying to dig for info.” Draken spoke. Even if it was his day off he stood for a while to see the work Inui was doing. 

Seeing a car pull up into the parking lot. Getting out of the car was the eldest Haitani brother. His eyes darted over at  Ken who was looking back at him. “What do you want Haitani?” 

“I came here as a warning to you.” Ran spoke in a serious tone. “You stay away from _______ and my daughter or else.” 

Draken didn’t back down from the threatening tone. “You don’t scare me Haitani. If me and _____ decide to see one another, you're not going to stop us.” 

Ran let out a sarcastic laugh “see each other? That is a good one. It will be over my dead body if you think you can walk in and try to step in.”

“I’m not backing down anytime Haitani. You fucked up not me. You had your chance with _______, I will make sure she never gets hurt again.” 

“We will see about that.”  Ran said as he saw Mikey and Inui also looking at him. “You're lucky I don’t put a bullet in between your eyes right now.”

Mikey spoke in a monotone voice  “I think you should leave Haitani. Making threats here is not the best thing to do either.” 

“Really now?” Ran looked over at Mikey ``Such a shame, the person your sister only loved didn’t love her back. Yet you choose to still hang out with the man who divorced her. Some family you are.” Ran turned around “Stay away from them or there is a bullet with your name on it.” he walked back to the car before peeling off out of the drive away. “Is she even worth all this?” Inui asked, looking over at Draken.

“She is and if it means dealing with him… I will. I won’t back down to him.”

~~~~~~~~~ 

You stood for a few hours at your aunts before heading home. Arriving home you saw Ran leaning against his car with his hands in his pocket. “Mommy look, it's Mr. Ran!” She pointed out the window.

“Yeah there he is.” You parked the car, Ran made his way towards your car. You felt your anxiety kicking in the closer he got to the car. You didn’t know if he was going to make an incident in the front of the house or what.

Ran opened the back door to the car. “ Hello there princess.” 

“Hello.” She smiled. 

You got out of the car and he picked up D/n walking with her inside the house. They talked for a moment before he spoke  “Hey princess, me and your mommy need to talk really fast. Is it okay if you go up to your room?” 

She nodded. He put her down and he watched her go up the stairs. You on the other hand knew where this was going. Ran noticed the mark on your neck right away walking closer  you could see him slightly shake his head, his hand grasping your chin turning your head to the side. “You let him fuck you didn’t you...” the violet orbs that were always so kind felt cold.

“And if I did Ran?” You said you avoided eye contact with him as you pushed his hand away from your chin., “It doesn’t concern you on what I do. We are not together, you need to understand that.” 

He was a bit agitated by your response. He snapped it wasn’t by choice you both weren’t together.  “the reason why we aren’t together  is because you decide to fucking leave in the mild of the fucking night pregnant with my daughter. You think I wanted to give that up? You fucking think for a minute how that affected me? You fucking show up back in town and wouldn’t even have told me still I had a daughter?  

“I gave you my reason for leaving. I was doing what was best for my daughter Ran. You were so caught up with all your underground bullshit and living that dangerous lifestyle. Did you think that would have been the best thing for her growing up?!” 

His hand slammed on the counter hard as it made you jump a little bit. “Our daughter would have been safe ________! Did it ever occur to you it would have all worked out? Of course you didn’t because you jump to the worse fucking scenario as always.  Did you fucking forget I wanted to start a family with you. I wanted to marry you. Everything we had gone through together you just let it disappear just like that. Like I never existed in your life.” He looked at you. “My daughter calls me Mr. Ran… she doesn’t really know how close her daddy is to her and her mother. The only woman I loved just looks at me like I’m no good. To feel like a stranger in your life.” 

You paused for a moment “Ran..” “You don’t know the pain I went through all those years when you were gone…Yeah I slept with women to try and forget about you but you were always there. Comparing them to you and everything you did.” 

 From up stairs d/n could hear bits and pieces of what was going on. As a  child's curiosity, she didn’t know what was going on. She heard the ending Ran phrase ‘My daughter calls me Mr. Ran she doesn’t really know how close her daddy is to her’ 

D/n understood certain things and with that phrase she wanted to know if Ran was her father. Even though they asked her to go to her room as they talked she was too impatient. She could hear the argument between you and possibly her father. You caught a glimpse of your daughter who was peaking on the other side of the wall. “Sweetheart me and Mr Ran are talking.”

She looked at Ran, the same violet eyes looking down at her. Walking towards Ran, something told him to kneel down as she came closer. As he was eye level with his little one she looked at him. Her little hands reached for his face and she began to study his face more closely.. “Your eyes are like mine.” 

His hands rested on hers. “I know, princess….” he started off, Ran couldn’t hold it in anymore he felt the moment needed to be addressed right here and right now. “D/n do you know you're a part of me?”  He asked her, and she responded with a nod. “Who am I?” 

“My daddy?” d/n she gave a soft smile. 

Ran needed this moment right now. His arms wrapped around his little one. She didn’t let go either she held on tightly to Ran. The corner of her eyes began to water up, Ran wiped her eyes “it’s okay.” He kissed her temple. “I don’t plan on leaving you d/n.” Even with the arguing moments ago he didn’t care at all. His baby knew who he was. Something that he had been wanting to do since the first day he met his daughter, hold her just like this and make her feel safe.

“Does this mean Mr. Rin is my uncle? 

“He is.” Ran smiled. 

D/n was happy about this news, she finally had a daddy. “Mommy, does this mean we can all live together? Just like in the stories we read?” “It’s not that simple d/n”  you looked at her . She was a bit confused “but why?” “D/n…Right now me and your daddy are still figuring out somethings.” 

“Then we can live together right?” she asked. “We will see about that princess. Right now me and mommy have to talk some more about it…” “Okay…” she was a little bummed in her response. 

Ran knew how his daughter felt he wanted that as well but he knew it was something  he couldn’t control, not this time. “D/n me and mommy need to finish talking okay?”

“Okay…” She got down from her fathers arms and began to return to her room.

 Both of you walked into the back yard, the brief moment of silence as a light breeze floated in the backyard. “You didn’t give me a fair chance _____.” he started off. “From that point on when you left. I thought we were happy and moving forward in our future… I guess it was one sided. Even now…I know you don’t believe me, how much I wanted you back or how much I loved you.” “I do believe you Ran..how you are talking right now I know it’s the truth…I just couldn’t jump in where we left off… it wasn’t right..and just… never mind “

He looked at you then out into the yard. “What, Draken made you that confused on how you feel about me now or what? If I were to tell you right now I love you.. Would you say it back?” 

“Ran…” 

“You can simply deny all you want ________, but I know your response when I tell you I love you. ”  he wasn’t going to give up so easily, “I know every part of you very well. Even after not seeing you for so long. I know what you like, what you don’t…how to make you quiver and make you cum so quickly. Are you afraid of looking weak in front of me now?” You rolled your eyes. “I don’t know since you know me so well, you tell me.” He let a low chuckle out “You're afraid of caving in. That night on the phone you were fighting that urge. You wanted me to come over, if I would have it would have solved a lot of problems right then and there. Were you so desperate for sex you caved into sleeping with him?” it happened so quickly you found yourself against the wall he had you trapped between the wall and him. “What is it because he told you he  loved you? You felt special?” He was inches from your face, the somber tone he used as he spoke. “You opened your legs right away…If I find him here I mean it ______ he is a dead man. No other man is going to be around my daughter in that way.” he leaned back. “I can promise that.”  He began walking into the house. “Ran, I need you to leave.” your voice was calm but you felt angry with him and how he was acting. His words felt like you belonged to him whether or not you were with him. “As you wish.” Ran casually walked upstairs to the bedroom where his daughter was playing. 

He told her he had to leave because he had to work. “Are you coming tomorrow?” she asked

“Of course, I gotta see my girl.”he smiled and kissed her temple. After saying their goodbyes. You didn’t even walk him to the door. He let himself out.

Draken would end up texting you a few hours later that Ran went to his job knowing that you both went out the night prior along with the threats. “I’m sorry..” you sighed in the phone 

“It’s not your fault he did that.” Draken responded. 

“Still think it’s okay to still go on dates?” Asking him. “I just don't wanna cause problems.” 

“He doesn’t scare me, it may work on others but not me. If he has a problem with me taking you out he knows where to find me. I still want to take you out.”

You had a small smile. You heard your daughter call out for your name “mommy!”

“D/n calling for you.” you heard Draken chuckled. “Yeah, I will call you later” you told him

“Sounds good to me.Talk to you later” 

When you hung up the phone. You walked up the stairs towards your daughter's room.  When getting to her room you saw her sitting on her bed holding her stuffed rabbit tightly. “Sweetie what is the matter?” Walking into her you kneel down looking at her. You noticed her eyes looking at the corner of her room and then back at you. In  the corner of her room you saw a large man. Wearing all black and wearing a mask. “______ is it?” the deep raspy voice spoke. “Who the hell are you?” you looked at him. 

“Unfortunately I can't tell you that. You see I actually came here for a purpose…” 

“Purpose?” you stood up. “I was given an order to kill you..”  You felt your stomach drop, your daughter began sobbing louder. She held onto you tightly, “But I’m a reasonable man now. You see you are linked to Ran Haitani.” “What about him?” you asked. “Whatever Ran it has nothing to do with us.” 

“As my boss sees it, it can play a big role in our favor… Ran has something in his possession for years now and we want it back. I mean for years we tried to get it back but with no success but after following him for sometime we finally found something to make him budge.”  

You remembered the black car that was following you the other day… “mommy.” Your daughter was still sobbing. 

“Shh there there d/n  it’s okay no need to cry.” The man said, “You see, we didn't expect one of the  Haitani brothers to have a private family but assuming he didn’t know until a few weeks ago. And let me tell you it would be a shame to see that taken away so quickly right _____? Your daughter's life is so precious and so young. She hasn’t experienced life to the fullest yet.” 

“Please just don’t hurt her.” Your arms wrapped around your daughter.  Your heart was pushing with anxiety you didn’t know what this masked man was gonna do. You were trying to figure a way to please the man. You're heard rambling with various ideas. “What if I told him whatever he has to give it back. Please I-I promise he will give it back.” You splattered out. 

“You wouldn’t be lying to me right now to save your lives.” On the side of his pants pocket you had the pistol. 

“Please, I will do anything to protect my daughter.” 

“What a good mother you are. If you're able to get the stolen items back to my possession I will spare you and your daughters life but don’t play me for a fool ....” He walked closer and his large intimidating structure stood in front of you. “I know where you are at all times from your family's home to where d/n goes to school. I won’t hesitate to end your lives quickly. I expect to see the items returned soon. The sooner the better.” 

“Y-yes.”you nodded quickly.

The man pulled his phone out. Bringing it to his ear. “Bring the car to the front…” before handing up. “Let’s see how selfless of a man he truly is…. I do need to make my exit.. you are not allowed to leave this room for ten minutes… when the ten mins is up you can leave. Maybe even find Ran and tell him to quickly return the items.” 

The man walked out of the room disappearing down the hallway. You didn’t know how you did it for so long but your legs were trembling, you fell to your knees, your arms hugging d/n tightly. “I'm sorry d/n.”  The tears fell onto your cheeks. “I’m so sorry.” You need to get this taken care of right away. You looked at your daughter wiping her tears away “I’m here d/n I promised I will always be with you.” She nodded slightly sniffling.

You began collecting your thoughts before you decided to grab a bag. You weren’t going to risk staying here the night. You packed a bag for you and d/n. Quickly getting  her into the car you headed out to your aunt's home. 

Knocking on the door to her home. You looked around to see if any cars were around as you had your daughter in your arms. Paranoid you were being followed. When she opened the door you quickly got in. “What’s going on??” She looked at you and saw you with a distressed look. 

“I need to do something important. I will explain everything later. Can you please watch d/n?” You asked your aunt. 

With the tone and expression she was concerned but she couldn’t ask. D/n heated you were going to leave here and she held onto you right. “Please don’t go mommy.” 

“Sweetheart I have to… I  promise I will be back okay?” You tried to use soothing words to her. 

“I don’t want the bad man coming back.” 

Aunt looked at you. She was growing more concerned. “He won’t, mommy needs to find daddy and we will get this fixed.”

Giving her a tight hug and kiss, you looked at your aunt. “Thank you…” 

“Please come back,” your aunt looked at you. 

Pulling up to the club, you were underdressed to be going in there.  At this point you didn’t care when you entered the building you moved through the crowd. People looked at you  walking pass them as they were in the weekend clothing. Looking for Ran, but you were spotted by Rindou who was at the bar. He could see you were pissed off, “god dammit.”Rindou reached for your arm when you realized it was him. 

“Where is Ran.” you managed to speak loud enough over the music “_____  this can’t wait?” Rindou spoke, he thought it was because of what his brother did earlier. “Making a scene here is not good fo-“

You didn’t let him finish his sentence “Rin where is he at or I will find him myself.” you looked at him. There was no point in him trying to change your mind. “Come on.” 

You followed him closely behind, you saw Ran next to him was a woman wearing a dress that seemed too small bending over her whole ass would be showing. She was pretty close to him,but the way he was looking at her was a bit off putting as if he was uninterested but she was trying to have his attention on her. When Ran saw Rindou approaching, Ran saw you. The incident from earlier he wasn’t expecting to hear from you, let alone see you.

 The woman next to him was Ms.Yamaguchi. She noticed Ran’s attention was at you. "She came here in that?’ She thought to herself as she looked at you up and down. 

 Ran walked towards you leaving her side  “what is it?” he asked.

“What did you do?” you looked at him. “Who did you piss off?”

He was confused about what you were asking him. He had you follow him down a hallway that led to his office. When he closed the door he asked “What are you talking about?” he asked. “Ran, who did you piss off?” you ask him as you crossed your arms looking at him you were trying to keep calm. From the incident with the person in your home.  “What is with this question?” he asked “Someone was in my house and they knew you! They know where my family is, where d/n goes to school! ” you finally snapped. “This is what I was afraid of! You keep fucking with  people they are going to poke back! Are you trying to put d/n life at risk?!” 

Ran saw the anxiety and anger you displayed in front of him. “Where is D/n?” 

“She is at my aunt's house. I don’t know what the fuck you took but what ever it is they are not playing around.” You began to panic more thinking the worst. Remembering the threats. 

“______ you need to calm down.”  His hands resting on your shoulders. Threats being made to you and d/n pissed him off. He had a hunch in who it was but needed proof it was them. He didn’t want to jump onto it right away.

 Warm tears fell down from your cheeks pushing his hands off of you. “When you have someone threatening to take your daughter's life you wouldn’t be calm Ran. So don’t fucking tell me to calm down.”  He noticed you began to hyperventilate. 

“You being upset and freaking out is not making it any better _____” He spoke in a more stern tone. “I will find out who did this okay? I need some information about what they look like?” 

“He was in all black and had a mask on. His voice was deep and raspy like he smoked a lot…” You close your eyes seeing the tall masked man as you were  trying to stay calm. You didn’t want to go home not knowing if they would be there. You leaned against the desk running your finger through your hair. Your head was hurting and anxiety wasn’t helping it. 

You heard a knock in the door. The door opened to find the woman he was standing by a few mins ago “Ran darling  everything okay?” Ms Yamaguchi asked as she entered the room. Both you and her looked at one another “oh sorry I didn’t realize you had a guest still..” 

When you heard her voice you recognized it right away.  It was the other woman you heard that night. She was beautiful and she made you feel insecure a bit. She looked like she was a better fit for him than you ever did. You averted your eyes back to Ran. “Sorry for keeping him…”

“Oh it’s fine. I was just getting a bit lonely without him. I can take him back when you're done. Are you a friend of his?” She asked. Ms. Yamaguchi played a bit dumb knowing exactly who you were. 

 “_____ this is Ms. Yamaguchi… Ms. Yamaguchi this is _____”  Ran introduced you both. “Ms. Yamaguchi, me and ______ were in the middle of a discussion right now.” Ran could see Ms. Yamaguchi was butting in and saying things that weren’t really how they sounded to be. She latched onto him when she arrived and he was trying to show in his expression and demeanor how uninterested he was in her. 

“No no it’s fine I need to get going…”  you began walking off. “Nice meeting you…” 

Ran saw you walking off and he proceeded to follow you, as he passed Ms. Yamaguchi. “Wait where are you going?!?” 

“I need to finish talking to ______.”  Ran didn’t look at her as he began following you. 

The music was blasting loud as you walked to the exit. Ran was trailing behind you calling your name out. When you got out of the club you walked faster to your car. “Can you stop walking, dammit. Stop ignoring me.” He reached for your upper arm getting ahold of it. 

“That was her…”  you shook your head. “Ran darling…” 

“Ms. Yamaguchi does business with me and Rin.” 

“And you get to fuck her right between the meetings? Ran I’m not stupid but then again it’s not my business who you decide to fuck…I just know you have.” Why was it bothering you so much just seeing her?  The memories of running into Ran’s past lovers years back and how they would act towards you. It was always so unsettling to you. Instead of him comforting you each time it happened in the past, you had to manage it yourself and you did a poor job doing it..You got yourself worked up. Seeing Ms. Yamaguchi and putting a face to the voice didn’t help.

“She is not important right now . What is important right now is you and d/n.”  Ran said.  He saw you were still hyperventilating a bit. He held onto the sides of your face and he was focused on current state of mind. 

“I- I need to leave…” your body began to sway slightly stumbling trying to push his hands away from your face but you felt weak 

“______. You need to calm down.” his request wouldn’t be completed once your vision went black. Ran managing to hold onto your body. Making sure you didn’t fall to the ground “_______! Fuck.”  he called the bodyguard outside letting them know to call Rin. Rindou made it outside “What the fuck happened?!” 

Ran held you bride style in his arms ``she passed out… Look I need you to go get D/n from her aunt's house. Bring her to my place. I’m gonna take _______ there.” Ran had his car pulled up by the valle. Rindou helped him place you in the car, before he took off. As he arrived at his home he carefully carried your body to his bedroom placing you on the bed.  He wasn’t going to let you go back home if they were easy to get into the home like that he wasn’t going to risk having you there. Ran looked down at you ‘if only this scenario were different than right now.’ he thought to himself. Walking out of his room he loosened his tie and removed his jacket.  Rindou arrived with D/n who was hugging her as she was asleep. Ran didn’t want to disturb her sleep so he kissed her forehead.  “Put her in the room with ______.” After a few mins Rindou came out of the bedroom. “What the hell happened.”

“Someone broke into their home and threatened ________ and d/n. I don’t know all the details but from what ______ told it's someone I know… they want items back…” Ran gave Rin a look already knowing who it could be. “But I need proof it's them…They have info on d/n school along with ________ info as well and  her family… They are going to need to stay here for a while till this shit gets cleared.” 

“Did she agree?  Asking him. “She will have to, I don't see any other option.” Ran sat on the couch and he felt his phone ring. Pulling out his phone he saw it was Ms.Yamaguchi he rolled his eyes and sent her to voicemail. “She didn’t help either. It was a wrong move signing a contract with her… I feel like she made it more complicated than needed. She just added fuel to the fire…very close to telling to fuck off.” “Speaking of the devil she noticed you following_______ out  and asked me about it, let's just say I told there was a lot of history she wouldn’t understand .” “Pain in the ass I swear if she didn’t open her mouth everything between me and _____ , it would be better. Now I’m facing the difficulties of  dealing with fucken Draken.. Both of them had fucked..”

“Think of it now since she is here you really think she will go see Draken let alone leave when she knows someone is watching her.” Rindou sat on the other side of the couch. “As I see it the is an opportunity to fix any issues you might have.”.

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[simping4-2manyppl]

Hello, how r u? I had this request, and I was wondering if you could write it please? It's abt Bill (maybe during 2008) who goes to yn's concert with the rest of the band (yn is Bill's n°1 celebrity crush) and they meet for the first time after the concert during an after party and it's just really cute, yn and Bill are shy and obviously like each other etc plus paparazzis took pictures of the two talking with each other... Have a nice day

Bill Kaulitz 🎤

Crush

Hii im goodd tysm for asking!! Id love to do this request its been sitting here for a while but i finally got the motivation to finish this! hope you enjoy it, sorry for the wait xx

Bill x reader

Not proof read!!!!

Bill had been a big fan of yours for quite some time, so when he found out you were going on tour he was so excited, he made sure to get his assistant to buy some tickets right away!

Once bill was there with the rest of the band he was amazed by hearing you sing live, but he enjoyed his time along with the others, bill had gotten them to like your music aswell!

After you had gotten off the stage you had learned that tokio hotel had attended your concert, you had known about them from them being all over tabloids, as they were currently doing really good in the music world.

You smiled at this info and had been rushed to get ready for your after party that a lot of people were gonna be at.

You had made sure to pick out an outfit beforehand so you got dressed and got your makeup redone by the awesome makeup artists you had, you thanked them and went out backstage with your bodyguards getting into the car and making your way to the after party.

Once you got there you greeted everybody, waving and making small talk until you approached another guest, bill kaulitz.

You were quite nervous but excited to meet him, you had heard some of their songs which you loved.

“Hi..” you said putting your hand out for him to shake, a blush creeping over your face. “Hello..” he said, also blushing but shaking your hand.

You felt as if time was going by really slow as you both stood there, hands still connected but both looking down too shy to say anything.

You felt a small spark once you connected hands, butterflies immediately rumbling in your stomach as you realized your hands were still together.

You pulled away softly, “sorry about that!..” you said nervously, “o-oh! No dont worry about it! Its okay..” he said as you both still stood close, faces extremely red.

It wasnt anything to get flustered over since you had just greeted about a million people before him but you had just shut down completely, and in a good way.

You decided to shake off the shyness you felt and invited him over to sit down, also offering him a drink.

He accepted and you quickly got two drinks for the both of you, sitting down on the couch and handing his drink over to him.

You took a small sip, trying to figure out what to say, but you were taken out of your thoughts when he spoke up.

“You did really good today! At your concert i mean, haha.. Anyway, i also really liked your outfits. Everything was great i can see why you’re becoming famous very fast!” He said with a smile, taking a sip of his drink.

You blushed and smiled back, “thank you! Ive seen you perform aswell, not live but from what ive seen you and your band are great! I love how you really go off and do your best in every show! I know its tiring but you really do amazing.” You said rambling, the pink tint on your cheeks becoming more visible.

He chuckled and mumbled a thank you, the both of you finally warming up to eachother and talking more, it really felt like it was only you two there but unfortunately you hadnt noticed the paparazzi taking pictures from the window behind the couch you both were sat in.

Too focused on conversation, that you didnt even noticed bills band members show up infront of you.

You had quickly greeted them, blushing as you felt embarrassed that you hadnt noticed anyone standing there, possibly listening to your conversation with bill.

Although you got lucky because they eventually left to some other part of the party and you stayed talking all night long with bill, too engrossed in the conversation and by the way he would tell you stories with such detail that you didnt even realize your phone buzzing constantly from messages and random people tagging you in the new pictures of you and bill.

After you spent all night talking you had accidentally fallen asleep on the couch, your head layed on bills shoulder as you rubbed your eyes at the sunlight, finally waking up.

You had grabbed your cellphone to check the time but had seen your phone blown up with the thousands of messages instead.

You rubbed your eyes as you got up looking at the pictures you had been tagged in shocked.

The paparazzi had released the pictures of you and bill talking, some were just of you and him laughing and smiling or just being too close to eachother.

You groaned, annoyed that the media had taken something so innocent into something it wasnt, but thats what they did best right?

Bill had woken up, putting his hand on your shoulder, “are you okay?..” he said with a raspy voice, as he had just woken up.

You frowned and showed him your phone, handing it to him. “Sorry they had to ruin this, all we did was talk, they’re saying crazy things.” You said rolling your eyes.

He chuckled, handing the phone back to you, “doesnt matter, i enjoyed last night. Getting to know you was the best part of my day.” He said smiling, “and if they like to assume things well.. maybe we should make what they say true.” He said smirking, grabbing your chin.

Your breath hitched as you felt nervous, the butterflies in your stomach suddenly returning. He had leaned closer in to you and placed his lips onto yours.

Your worries had all gone away as you closed your eyes kissing him back. Your lips moving in sync as he suddenly placed his hand on your cheek, deepening the kiss.

You broke apart, taking in breaths of air completely flustered, as he swiped your lip giving you a smile, his cheeks also red.

You both chuckled as you placed another kiss on his lips, smiling.

What a great After Party.

[imagine-that-one-thing]

Chapter 9 "Crimson Threads."

Word count: 5,625

Harry x Anastasia || Fanfic series

Master Link || Chat with me

Harry's POV

The rain has been pouring heavily for the past hour. It seems as if the heavens have finally decided to open up and they don't plan to close anytime soon.

As I hold my hot cup of coffee, I watch the steam rise and feel the warmth radiating through my hands. I should be doing something else. Instead, I find myself perched on a set of stone steps, listening to the rain and staring into my cup, hoping to encounter answers I know I won't discover.

Most people turn to a bottle of whiskey to find explanations, but I know that won't solve anything. There are a lot of things I ought to figure out, but it appears as if life has become so hectic that I can't seem to uncover any answers. Maybe the next time I have a cup of coffee, I'll add a shot of whiskey to it. I need something to help calm me down and ease my mind from these questions that I can't find answers to. It feels like I'm attempting to solve a puzzle without all the pieces. Maybe the king has more pieces to this puzzle, but he's not prepared to disclose them just yet.

Maybe I have the pieces and I just don’t want to put them together.

"Why do you look so glum?" My sister distracts me from my drowning thoughts.

I glance up from my mug and discover my sister stepping closer, her hair thrown up in a bun and her sweater falling off her shoulder as she shoves her keys into her handbag.

"I thought you moved away years ago?"

She rolls her eyes at my comment, "Likewise... Some of us visit our family and stay for a few days."

I don't respond, I just take a sip of my coffee, not wanting to banter with her at this hour. “Why are you here at this hour?” I question, unsure why she is standing in front of me at six in the morning, “And how did you get past security? Nobody’s meant to be entering the palace.” She is the second person to visit me this morning, the first being Prince Louis.

My sister smiles, “That was an act of congress since you wouldn’t answer your bloody phone. I had to show my ID before the new kid called for Matthew and Matthew granted me access.” My sister informs me and I nod my head. “I heard about your shoulder and thought I’d check on you. I’ve seen some news articles across my desk… I decided to get here before the rest of the press.” My sister flicks her head to the gates of the Palace which will be lined with press and different personnel.

“I’m fine, it’s nothing major.”

"So, why are you so glum? Where's your princess?"

I glare at my sister and she curls her lips up into a smirk. She's doing this to purposely piss me off. It’s what she does best.

As kids, we continuously took the piss out of each other and found ways to get under each other's skin, and usually, I'd be all for our banter, but right now, I'm exhausted and I don't want backhanded comments... especially when it comes to Anna who is on the direct path of sharpened swords with everybody.

"Do you not like her or something?" I ask with irritation, unsure of where my sister stands when it comes to my relationship.

"I do," my sister nods.

"Then what is with the damn comments when it comes to her?"

My sister lifts her shoulders into a shrug, "Daddy Issues."

I roll my eyes and sigh, "You're annoying. Dad treated you well.... daddy issues my fucking ass," I shake my head at her, attempting not to laugh at her comment.

Contrary to popular belief, we always got along with our father, he wasn't the villain in our family story. Our parents went their separate ways but it wasn't for any drastic reason like he was an asshole or cheated, no.

Our parents outgrew each other and weren't on the same path when it came to life— they had different goals and aspirations— they were perfect for each other until they weren't. They served their purpose together and split ways civilly when we were younger. When we got a little bit older, their paths crossed and they remarried just last year.

"I like her, but I enjoy teasing you," my sister admits.

"Well, it would be beneficial if you were kinder to her. I realize being nice may not come naturally to you, but she would appreciate having nice people around her," I respond.

My sister can be challenging to read. She's often sarcastic, and sassy--there's a fine line between her liking and disliking someone, and it's not always easy to distinguish.

"I'm nice," my sister protests, holding up a bag of danishes. "I even had them inspected when I entered."

"You aren’t supposed to be here.”

My sister lifts her shoulders into a shrug, not seeming to care about the defence I am showing. "I want to make sure you know what you're getting into. I've read news articles and past royal biographies," my sister warns.

I nod. "Just try to keep your comments to a minimum."

"Is that why you seem so down?" she questions.

I rub my face in frustration. "I have a lot going on right now. Can I tell you something?"

My sister raises an eyebrow. "Depends on what you did."

"This is off the record," I respond, making it known she is not to repeat what I say from this moment forward.

My sister is a journalist who covers stories on the royals and major events in London. She's renowned in her career, but sometimes her attention to detail can be a problem.

"Is she pregnant?" she asks.

"No," I reply, surprised by her question.

"Thank goodness. We don't need a mini-you running around," she jokes. "So, what is it?"

“This is why I don’t call and tell you anything,” I mutter.

“You don’t call because you’re an asshole,” my sister chuckles.

“I did what you advised me not to do,” I begin, looking at her intently, hoping to find anything other than icy contempt in her expression. To my surprise, her lips curve into a small grin, and she cocks her head slightly to the side. She looks oddly content. I expected her to be pissed—anything but content.

“You fell for her, didn’t you?” she asks, her voice soft but knowing.

I silently nod, my heart pounding as I watch her reaction. Her smile remains gentle and understanding.

“I figured you would—”

I cut her off, my voice firm but tinged with desperation. “Before you ask if I know what I’m doing… I do.”

Her eyes soften, and she nods. “As long as you’re happy. But you know the tabloids are full of stories about her and her family, right? She’s the topic of conversation. This is bound to get out.”

I shake my head, frustration bubbling up inside me. “I know she’s the topic of conversation.”

“I have a lot of articles sitting on my desk that I have to sort through,” she says, her tone now serious. “You know I have to publish a few of them.”

“I know,” I sigh, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on me. “Can you veto what you can? I can’t afford to leak anything right now.”

She looks at me for a long moment, then nods slowly. “I’ll do what I can. But you need to be careful. This could get messy.”

“I understand,” I whisper, grateful for her support despite everything.

If there are any security breaches, threats, or sensitive information related to the family that could potentially be leaked, I alert the PR team. The team monitors the monarchy's website and social media channels, as well as handles PR. I assist them with damage control when instructed by the King or when Anna requires it. On occasion, I share information with my sister to divert media attention away from the family. However, I have experienced instances where she has published stories that I did not approve of or were inaccurate, but this is part of her job.

“I can try. I can’t veto her taking the crown soon or her supposed budding romances.”

“That’s fine,” I say, my voice tinged with a weary shrug. “I don’t need to be in the articles,” I inform my sister just as my phone rings. I heavily sigh, staring down at the screen, my chest tightening with reluctance. I don’t want to answer it. I don’t want to deal with anything besides sipping my coffee at six in the morning, a fleeting moment of normalcy amidst the storm of secrets and uncertainties.

“I knew you screened my calls,” my sister says with a knowing smile, though her eyes betrayed concern. “Have you spoken to Dad?” she asks softly, her voice laced with worry.

I sigh again, feeling the weight of exhaustion settling over me, both mentally and physically. The incident on the boat and my shoulder breaking and never fully healing has gotten me to this point. It left me more vulnerable than I cared to admit. Sometimes, I wish I could just breathe without worrying about the next crisis. Sometimes, I wish I could call Dad for advice, but I can’t risk breaching his safety. There are moments when I could use a hug or some fatherly advice.

“You know even if I have, I can’t tell you,” I admit, frustration and guilt mixing in my voice. I know where he is, but I can’t tell her, as much as I wish I could— I can’t. It wouldn’t be beneficial for her to know anything either way, she’d just worry.

My sister’s expression softens, understanding the unspoken rules that govern our lives. “He’ll be home soon to see you,” I offer weakly, trying to redirect the conversation away from my evasions.

“Have you told Anna?” she probes gently, her concern now focused on someone else I care deeply about.

I shake my head, a knot of apprehension forming in my stomach. “No, I’ll tell her when I’m ready,” I reply, my voice tinged with uncertainty and a hint of fear.

My sister persists, her words gentle but insistent. “Secrecy isn’t your friend,” she advises, her concern palpable.

“Don’t start on this topic, not right now,” I murmur, feeling the weight of every hidden truth pressing down on me. The incessant ringing of the phone underscores the urgency of my situation, reminding me of the difficult decisions and conversations I must face, all while desperately trying to maintain a facade of normalcy and control.

My sister nods her head, “I’ll see myself in, I’d like to see your girlfriend.”

“She’s in the centre room, it’s a small sitting room that leads to the balcony of the Palace. Take the elevator to the fifth floor. There will be a guard at the elevator and he’ll take you to her. I’ll call you later if I have time,” I dismiss my sister and answer my phone as it rings again, ignoring it again would be a horrible decision. My sister nods her head and walks up the steps and follows my instructions.

"Hello?"

“ID call in.”

I sigh, “Styles, 2832.”

“Your boarding pass will be sent to you in a few moments,” the woman on the other end of the phone informs me, “The following information will be given to you at the airport.”

I heavily sigh and bow my head, “Noted,” I respond, ending the phone call. Fuck.

The message on my phone is clear and concise—a boarding pass to Barcelona. Every call and every trip could mean a sudden departure into a world of shadows. This time, the urgency is palpable. Boarding at ten am. Two hours to prepare is tight, even for me. I hate this.

As I stride through the palace, its corridors feel less like passages and more like a maze designed to keep secrets and make secrets.

In the sanctuary of Anna’s quiet and unbothered quarters, I’m quick and efficient. A shower to wash away the morning's stress, clothes chosen for incospicuality—dark jeans, a versatile jacket, with a white button-down shirt. I scan Anna's quarters to ensure privacy before shifting a painting aside, revealing a concealed safe embedded in the wall. My fingers move deftly as I enter the code, and with a confirming beep, the safe swings open. I quickly gather the essentials—passport, various currencies, a compact survival kit, burner phone and a few personal items that keep me anchored, including my watch—and slip them into my bag.

I give my room one last sweep with practised eyes—no trace, no accidental leftovers. Satisfied, I lock everything and make my way out of the bedroom, my footsteps silent and measured. My breath hitches in my throat when I see Anna walking into her quarters, her hand closing the door at the entry.

“What are you doing here?” the words leave my lips before I can stop myself.

Anna raises a brow before grabbing her clutch bag off the couch, “I forgot my bag. What are you doing?” she asks, her eyes trailing to the small duffle bag that hangs in my hands.

I give her a small smile, “I will be back tonight,” I inform her, stepping closer to her and pressing a kiss to her lips.

“Mhm” she hums, “Where are you going?” she questions curiously, my heart thumping in my chest at the thought of having to lie to her. “Oh, fuck,” she sighs, her eyes glancing at her phone. “I don’t have time, I have to go. I love you,” she kisses my lips before hurrying towards the door, her heels sounding against the flooring.

“I love you,” I respond, breathing a breath of relief.

The drive to the airport is a necessary pause, a moment to switch from the role of a royal aide to that of whoever I will be transforming into on this flight. The city blurs by as I rehearse the scant details of my assignment, ready to fill in the gaps once I land.

At the airport, I blend in, another face among the crowd. Yet, my awareness is heightened, scanning, always scanning. Reaching the gate, I check in as any traveller might, but my eyes catch every movement, every anomaly.

Boarding the plane, I settle into my seat, the boarding pass an innocuous slip of paper that belies the weight of the journey ahead. As the plane taxis and takes off, I’m already mapping out my first steps on Spanish soil to make contact with my local contact.

My phone buzzes, and I instinctively flip it over, expecting another batch of documents to review. To my surprise, it's a message from Anastasia.

"I've arrived at the ribbon cutting in the city. I haven't forgotten that you never mentioned where you were headed this morning."

I sigh heavily, conflicted by the necessity of secrecy in my line of work and the discomfort of withholding information from Anastasia.

"That's because I intentionally left it out. I'm off to Spain for a work seminar," I reply, opting for a vague yet prompt response, already feeling the weight of bending my protocols. "Enjoy your day and the ribbon-cutting ceremony. I love you," I add, hoping my affection will compensate for my evasiveness.

I watch as Anastasia's reply bubbles appear and disappear, feeling a twinge of guilt for the half-truths I'm compelled to give her. My life split between duty and personal, forces me to withhold the full extent of my activities—even from those I love. It's a precarious balance of maintaining personal relationships while securing the confidential nature of my work.

Her response pops up on the screen, her words laced with affection yet tinged with unease. "I love you too... Although, I don't like you being so secretive… it’s gotten more frequent."

I pause, knowing her discomfort is warranted. My position requires a level of secrecy that is often hard for others to accept. I type back, trying to reassure her within the limits of what I can disclose.

"It's part of the job, but I always come back to you," I write, hoping to soothe her worries without stepping over the boundaries of my operational constraints. “Blame Matthew.”

Closing the messaging app, I turn off my phone's display. The challenge of balancing my professional responsibilities with my personal life never gets easier, but it's a part of the life I've chosen.

♔♔♔

I walk through the north end door of the Palace, more than thankful to finally be home. The warmth wraps around my body like a comforting embrace, and I can't help but let out a sigh of relief. I'm exhausted, mentally and physically drained from the horrors of my time away. All I want now is to crawl into bed and sleep for a few hours, to forget the unsettling events that have unfolded.

The flight home was fucking cold and miserable, every bump and jolt reminding me of the turbulence in my own life. The drive from the airport to the Palace was no better, each mile dragging on as if time itself was against me.

Throughout my trip, I missed Anna deeply. I managed only a few texts to her here and there, brief moments of connection amidst the chaos. Her absence gnawed at me, a constant ache in my chest that I couldn't shake.

Now, as I step into the familiar surroundings of the Palace, I cling to the hope that being back home will bring some semblance of peace. The weight of the world feels heavier than ever, but here, surrounded by warmth and familiarity, I dare to believe that I can find solace, if only for a moment.

I enter our bedroom and close the door behind me silently, just in case Anastasia is sound asleep. I throw my jacket to the corner of the room before I observe Anna sitting up in the bed, the comforter draped over her, "Hey," she smiles towards me.

"You’re up late, what are you working on?” I question stepping closer to her and sitting on the edge of the bed beside her, glancing towards her laptop.

"The King ordered me to prepare the charity ball while he’s gone, so here I am making sure the dignitaries he wants are invited. Where have you been?"

I grow withdrawn for a moment, unsure of what to tell her. I didn’t think of the cover story I would need; it didn’t even cross my mind. “Harry?” she says, taking a cup from her nightstand and narrowing her eyes at me as she takes a sip.

“I told you…”

“Care to elaborate? Spain is vague.”

“I’m not allowed to talk about it.”

I’m not lying; I’m not supposed to say a word about tonight’s events. I should have been more efficient and come up with a logical story, but I am too tired, mentally and physically. The exhaustion weighs on me, and the last thing I want is to fight with Anna.

She looks at me, suspicion and concern etched on her face. “Why can’t you talk about it, Harry? This isn’t like you.”

I sigh, rubbing my temples. “Anna, I am tired.”

“That's the thing, you’re always tired.” … "I don’t care,” she bluntly responds.

Fuck.

Up until recently, she hasn’t questioned when I’ve gone missing or been gone for days without explanation. I’m not sure why she is suddenly noticing now.

I sigh as she takes a sip of her tea. “Anna... sometimes I have to fight fire with fire. Can you just take my word for it?”

Her eyes narrow over the rim of her cup. “You’ve always been vague about your absences, but this feels different. Why now, Harry? Why are you being so secretive?”

“I was busy,” I say, my voice heavy with fatigue. “I can’t tell you much yet.”

“Not yet?” She sets her cup down, frustration is evident in her eyes. “That’s not good enough, Harry. You’re asking for blind trust without giving me anything in return.”

“I know,” I admit, running a hand through my hair. “Anna, please,” I say, stepping closer. “Trust me. Just this once. I’ll tell you everything when I can, but for now, you have to trust me.”

She looks at me, her expression softening slightly. “I want to trust you, Harry. But it’s hard when you keep shutting me out.”

“You will have to deal with it,” the words leave my lips before I can stop myself.

Wrong words. Fuck.

Her eyes burn with hatred as she glares towards me, her lips screwed into irritation, "You're being shady."

"Jus' don't worry about it, okay?" I lean over and kiss her forehead. "Let me handle things."

"I don't like how you're handling things. I don’t even know what these things are."

"Well, I am sorry, you don’t have to like it"

Some things are better left unsaid. Where I was and what I was doing is best unknown at the moment. Perhaps one day it’ll come to light, but that day isn’t today.

“What happened to you? What’s on your shirt?” Anastasia leans forward, her eyes narrowing as she presses her hand against my shirt, inspecting the red stain spreading across the white fabric.

I look down, my heart skipping a beat as I grab the material between my fingers, stretching it out to see the crimson mark more clearly. The stain is vivid, fresh, and unmistakable.

"Harry, is that blood?"

I swallow hard, my mind racing for an explanation. "It's... it's not what it looks like, Anna."

I should have known better than to not inspect my clothes.

Her eyes widen, disbelief etched across her face. "Not what it looks like? It looks like blood, Harry."

I have to think quickly. "I... I cut myself earlier. It’s nothing serious."

Her gaze remains fixed on the stain, doubt lingering. "Where did you cut yourself?"

I hesitate for a split second too long. "On my arm. It’s fine."

Anna’s hand moves to my arm, gently pushing up my sleeve to inspect the supposed cut. I wince inwardly, knowing she won't find anything. Her fingers brush my skin, but there's no wound, no explanation.

Fuck.

She cocks her head to the side and raises a brow, "Do you want to lie to me again?"

I shake my head, "No, I'm going to take a shower Now."

"You've been spending too much time with my father and Syrus."

"What?" I question as Anastasia pushes the covers off her body and gets out of bed.

"You heard me, you're acting just as shady as them, and quite honestly, I don't like it."

"You're paranoid, go back to bed," I respond, stepping into the bathroom and flicking the light on, only for Anastasia to follow me. "Are you joining me in the shower?" I raise a brow cheekily, attempting to distract her from the argument she is most likely ready to create— she has a valid reason for being irritated and wanting answers, but I don't want to answer her. I don't want her to be consumed even further by what is happening or by what could happen.

I am trying my best to protect her from the shit show that is currently going on, she has dealt with more than enough and at this point, I am going to do everything that I can to not push her over the fucking edge. I don’t know how much further things will go before she begins to inch closer to the edge and I will be damned if she goes over it.

"Is that what things have come to? You tell me I am paranoid and everyone else telling me I am insane and imagining things?" Anastasia questions while I turn the knob to begin the water to heat up.

I of all people should not call her paranoid. She isn’t paranoid, she is onto something and I don’t want her to figure it out right now.

I turn to face her and I step closer to her, "I am being honest, believe me when I say there are some things better left unknown, please don't make this harder than what it already is."

I’m not allowed to tell her.

Anastasia pulls her hand away from my own and stares at me relentlessly, "Seems like everything is left unknown until it boils into something bad that can't be hidden."

I nod my head and heavily sigh. She’s relentless. "Where were you?"

"I flew to Barcelona for a conference. Can I take a shower now?" … "Why do you suddenly care?" I ask, noticing the tension in Anna's eyes. "I've always left on short notice without explanations, and you've never questioned it."

It hasn’t been until recently that Anna has questioned me about leaving or not being at events. This isn’t new, I’ve always been like this.

She glares at me, her anger growing with each second. "Because I didn’t care then!"

"So why do you care now?"

"Because I love you!" she snaps. "I didn’t care before because I didn’t want to love you. Now I do, and it's driving me crazy how you're always so secretive about these trips. I should’ve guarded my heart better and kept things casual. But here we are…”

Guilt twists in my gut. I hate keeping secrets from her, hate that my silence hurts her like this. But I can’t let her in. I can’t risk her knowing the truth. For a brief moment, I want to tell her everything, to let her see that my distance isn't about her. But I have to shut it down. I have no choice. So I force my emotions away, bury them deep where they can't interfere. "I can't explain," I say flatly, knowing it's not enough. It never is.

“If you regret being with me, just say it. We can end this anytime you want,” I offer, my voice steady even though it’s the furthest thing from what I want. But if it means keeping her safe, keeping her away from the mess I’ve tangled myself in, then I’ll do it. I'll let her go, no matter how much it tears me apart. If walking away is what it takes to give her back her sanity and shield her from the world I've helped create, then I'll do it without hesitation.

Anna shakes her head, “That’s not what I said.”

“Then for the sake of our relationship, leave it alone.” I respond.

"This conversation isn't over," Anastasia dismisses me and I heavily sigh as she storms out of the bathroom.

This is bound to be an interesting night. Just when I thought that things could settle down, I now have to face her. I lean on the vanity and stare into the mirror, taking in deep breaths in an attempt to think things through.

I knew that at some point these secretive late-night flights would come to light when she started to ask questions about my whereabouts. I thought by the time this moment arrived, I’d have the ability to speak to her about the events. I haven’t been cleared to do so yet.

I push away from the vanity and take my suit pants off, dropping my clothes to the floor before getting in the shower. The steaming hot water hits my body and I feel a sense of stress leaving my body for a brief moment. My body isn't cold and shivering and all the negative things that I have dealt with in the last two days are washing down the drain, hopefully, to never return.

I step out of the shower and Anastasia is leaning on the doorframe, I raise a brow but I do not say anything as she watches me reach for my towel and wrap it around my lower body. From the way, her lips are pressed firmly together and the way her eyes watch my every move, she isn't watching me because she finds me charming and good looking, no, she is watching me because she has things to say or she is trying to read me in an attempt to figure shit out.

I shuffle closer to her and press a kiss to her cheek, “Let it go,” I mutter as I slide past her, still not saying a word about where I was. I step towards the clothes Anna kindly laid out for me and I hold up a clean pair of sweatpants, wasting no time by pulling them up my legs before running the towel through my hair to dry it briefly. I place the towel in the hamper and glance over to Anastasia who has her arms crossed over her chest. I adjust my shoulder and attempt to move it, grimacing with each motion.

"How'd you get the blood on your white shirt? That is going to be hard to get out." Anastasia gestures towards the shirt I let fall to the floor before I went into the bathroom.

I heavily sigh as I pick it up from the floor, "I told you."

"That was a lie, you and I know that."

"Anastasia, please don't," I shake my head. I don't want to explain today to her. “I’m begging, please let it go.”

I fall to the edge of the bed and run my fingers through my hair. It is hard to draw a line between my job and being her partner, sometimes there isn't even a line, and sometimes I have to choose which one I want to take the role of. “I need you to know that I can’t explain everything to you, and I mean no disrespect by not telling you.”

“Fine,” anna responds; finally giving in. “But if I find out that you’re playing me, I’ll make your life a living hell.”

I softly chuckle, struggling to take her threat seriously, “I’m already in a living hell, sweetheart,” and I gesture towards the Palace walls, “Trust me, this is no heaven.”

“How are you so cool with keeping secrets?”

I heavily sigh, “I took note from your family's playbook,” I respond. “I don’t enjoy it, Anastasia,” I continue, “If you could trust me before this point with me leaving, I need you to continue to trust me.”

“I’d be stupid to blindly trust anyone at this point, my family is shady, my government is just as bad,” … “And I’d be equally as stupid to let you go with or without a trusting title.”

People always want what they can't have— but they should be careful what they wish for, a title comes with many burdens that not many want to deal with.

“So what is it? Am I staying or going?” I ask.

“Are you doing anything that jeopardizes me as Queen?”

I pause for a moment before shaking my head. Not technically. “No.”

“The monarch controls my life, I have to be able to trust you’re not fucking me over.” Anna presses.

If these members of royalty aren't happy, I don't understand why they allow the monarch to control their lives so much. If all of those who are unhappy were to rebel against the rules of the monarch, then surely, somehow, there could be a reform of amendment. It's like when a union goes on strike to express their issues of being paid inadequately or for whatever issue they don't agree with. When the union stands up and goes on strikes, it causes evaluation and further amendment of issues, changing the forms. Anna and Louis can't be the only ones who are having issues when it comes to being royal. Perhaps, if they band together, they could change things for the better.

But then again, who's going to listen?

The King and Parliament have had their chances to improve conditions and they haven't, I can only assume the chance of change is only going to occur when Anastasia is Queen, and if I'm being honest, I am somewhat dreading that moment. I know it is coming soon, more than likely she will be inaugurated as Queen in the New Year and be crowned before the spring. I fear the day Anna becomes Queen not just for her safety but her sanity. Being King has destroyed her father, he has gone off the deep end and there's no sign of him returning any time soon, although I know that she will not follow in the same steps as her father and get involved in matters that could kill her, there is part of me that wonders if she will be able to stay composed and genuine when she takes on such a role. Being a princess hasn't had the best of influences on her, she denounces it... I can only assume her being Queen will not cause a revolution where she will abruptly relish being royal. All I will be able to do is protect her, love her and support her through it all. I know she can handle the challenges that she may face, I have no doubt in her abilities, but I have seen her father decline over time and it worries me.

The monarch won't stand in my way when it comes to Anastasia, I have decided that on my own. I will stand in the shadows and be a silent partner while she's a part of the monarch. I won't force her to abdicate the throne when and if she ever takes the title of Queen, I will not force her to leave the monarch altogether. No. I plan to simply love her through it all and stand by her side. That crown will cause many arguments amongst us, I already know, but Parliament and the people of the United Kingdom won't separate us.

“You can trust me, I’m on your side,” I assure her, “I am merely working when I take these trips and it doesn’t concern the monarchy.”

She looks at me and takes a breath, and by the way, she slightly nods her head and shifts her eyes— she doesn’t believe me. 

[nightmaree-eyess]

Second in command

Arcane fanfic

Summary: jinx took over silcos crime ring when he died and you are her second in command

Word count: 1238

Tags: au, lesbian jinx, y/n, femme reader,hurt/comfort, imagine, action/adventure, angst, romance, everyone is alive, implied drugs, hallucinations, implied emotional abuse

My days are pretty boring and monotonous for being second in command for the biggest crime ring in Zaun. I wake up, make my tea, go to work, take inventory, and go home. Obviously my days aren't exactly the same but they are similar enough. Today was one of those days.

“Jinx wants to see you.”

Ugh sevika. She thinks she runs this place since she's been with the ring the longest. She thinks she deserves to run this place.

I rolled my eyes at her in response

“Look just because your girlfriend is uppity about me doesn't mean you have too.”

“Just because my head is between her legs, doesn't mean it's up her ass too.”

Sevika grimaces and I groan and walk away from taking inventory. I don't feel like dealing with her bullshit today. Or ever really.

I push the door open with my shoulder to jinx’s office. The doors are heavy and made of rusted iron. The handles are vials of shimmer. The doors creak as I enter.

“Hello y/n”

Jinx turns around to face you in her chair behind the desk.

“Hi baby, what's up?”

“Don't call me that you know I hate pet names. But can you grab my shimmer for me? My eye is fucking killing me.”

Sometimes I feel more like a monkey than her girlfriend. Just another one of her employees but with more sexual benefits.

I grab the shimmer from the table and straddle her to get a better angle. A part of me only uses that as an excuse to get closer to her.I take her chin and angle her head upwards, take the syringe, and inject her eye. Her left eye looks like a nuclear sunset with a void in the middle. She winces in pain for a moment.

“Ah fuck. That never gets easier” jinx groans

You take her face and plant a soft kiss on her forehead and she raises her hand to yours. You step backwards to put the syringe away.

“This wasn't the only reason i called you in here”

I think she wants a sexual favor from me. That's usually how this goes but she keeps talking.

“ I have a job I want you to come along and it's a pretty serious one. I wanted my assistant to come with me. Id send one of the other employees but i feel like theyd fuck this job up. And we have the power they don't.”

Finally I'm starting to feel important. Jinx usually did the negotiating while i kept things running on the inside. But I never really felt like I had the power people claimed I had as jinx’s girlfriend and assistant.

“Sounds good. But what's the job?” i questioned

“We have to go to piltover and talk to jayce talis about importing more shimmer through their harbors. Business is booming right now and we need to make bigger shipments. And I need you there just in case things go wrong.”

“Like a bodyguard? Am I getting a demotion?” i joke

“Ha. ha. Funny. You think I'm some joke? You don't think I can handle myself? You think im gonna fuck up the job like i fuck everything up right?!”

“No, I-Im sorry” i raise my hands in defeat

“Good. Because it sounded like my girlfriend and assistant were doubting my abilities. Remember who's above you y/n. I'll let you know the details later. Now get the fuck out of my office.”

—---------------------------

“Hello ladies, glad to be in your presence.” Jayce bows sarcastically

“Yeah whatever, let's just get to business.” jinx groans

I follow them into an empty alley. I thought maybe we’d be in an office or something but maybe the guy doesn't want us knowing where he resides. Jayce starts the convo

“Ok you called a meeting with me and i only have 15 minutes. So get to the point.”

“We want to import more shimmer through the harbors. Business is booming a-”

“No.”

“No? What do you mean no? This would benefit both of us in the long run and youre fucking delusional not to think so.”

“I already have the council up my ass. I can't import more shimmer without it being suspicious. The answer is no.”

Jinx pulls out her gun and points it at jayce

“We import more shimmer through your harbors or you get a bullet in the skull. Its honestly your choice”

Next thing I know there's a flash of blue illuminating the sky, the boom of a gun, and a warm feeling running down my chest. I slip into the void at peace.

—---------------------------------

I flutter my eyes open and see a distorted jinx next to me

“You're nothing to me. You're just a dog that I bet on and you're losing.” she laughs maniacally

I try to sit up but I'm paralysed. What the fuck is going on? Before I can process anything I drift away again.

—----------------------------------

I squint my eyes open. I'm in a sketchy room, on a twin sized mattress on the floor.

“Oh god, baby I'm so glad you're alive!”

You feel jinx’s warm lips against your clammy forehead

“Wha- ow fuck” you clutch your chest

“I'm so sorry baby, I'm so so sorry. I shouldn't have brought you along I jinxed it like i do everything this is all my fault im sorry”

“What are you talking about?”

“I-i accidentally shot you when jayce let off a bomb. I got startled and I shot you. Jayce died when the bomb went off but I got lucky. You… died when I shot you. I brought you to singed because i knew he could revive you…like he did me and it worked. Now you have to inject yourself with shimmer where you were injured to stay alive. I shouldn't have ever threatened jayce in the first place. This is all my fault.” she sobbed

“This… is a lot to process.” i wince in pain

“I'm so sorry. I've been cold and distant with you and you don't deserve that. Even though I keep you at arms distance, I love you. I didn't realise how much I loved you until I lost you. If I lost you…then I would have no one left. I need you in my life. You make my days brighter, you support me in ways no one else does, and I never want to take you for granted ever again. I want to love you the way you deserve, if you'll let me?”

I try my best to sit up to kiss her but I can't. Jinx fills in the space and kisses me passionately and deeply. Like if she stopped kissing me she'd lose me again. I break the kiss.

“I know. I love you too”

She climbs into bed with me. We are so close that we could almost merge into one. She pushes my sweaty strands of hair out of my face and kisses me softly on my nose and we drift off to a blissful sleep. And even though this is the most pain i've ever been in i'm the happiest i've ever been.

[simp4strongwomen]

You’re in my Seat.

Y’all this is my first fic, pls go easy on it it’s my baby. I literally fell in love with Becky Lynch so quickly and I’m constantly on her X reader tab just to find new stuff so I thought ide try my hand at writing. The bold is the dialogue prompt I found. All credit goes to the owner, though I’m not sure who it is because I found the prompt in a random google doc and thought ide use it. So if you know who owns it pls tag them. Lots of Love.

Becky Lynch x Reader “What's that look for?” Becky Lynch looked up at you, after seeing your shadow block out the light.

“...You’re in my seat.” You replied, slightly scared of the fiery wrestler.

“Well I’m not moving, so either stop being a little bitch about it, and get another seat, or sit in my lap.” The red headed Irish woman took you by shock with her reply.

You have had a crush on the champion for quite some time. Actually ever since you joined the professional wrestling world three years ago. Once you had finally moved up to Raw, you tried your hardest to be friends with her, the only conversations you would have with The Man would always end up in her flirting and you flustered. You never thought that she would ever reciprocate the feelings you have for her. But maybe she did, but who are you kidding? That was just her personality, there is no way she would like you. Not when she is the Women's Champion, and you’re just a newer, younger, protogé. Little did you know though, that she enjoys the conversations you both have, and notices the effect she has on you. You have been the reason for some of her sleepless nights, just wondering what life with you could possibly be like. She enjoyed your nature and the aura that surrounds you, likening how it’s so different from her commanding fiery spirit.

“What?!” And once again, Lynch has been able to cast you flustered with one simple sentence.

Becky, not wasting any time, responds so coolly, yet panicking on the inside. “You heard me. I don’t care what you chose, but hurry it up, we don’t have all day.” At that point in time you're pretty sure your heart just pushed your brain out of the way, all thoughts about what could possibly happen in the future with this decision. Yet you pushed away all the negative and focused on the positive that came along, when you sat down on her lap.

Becky was in shock, she didn’t expect you to actually go through with that choice.  Reeling her head back in shock she asks you one question,” You comfortable lass?”

You, just deciding that whatever happens from here on out happens, so fuck it. “Quite actually. I think I should sit here more often. Though I think some people here might get a little jealous.” Wrapping one arm around her shoulder and messing with a strand of her curly orange hair, you busy yourself with looking anywhere but in her brown eyes.

“Oh well, that’s their loss they ain’t it. A pretty girl like you should just be sitting on anybody's lap, not unless they deserve it.” Her hand reaches around you back to squeeze your waist, watching the affect her touch has on you.

Finally looking into her deep brown eyes, you bite back,” Oh and you think you deserve it?” Messing around with the necklace around her neck helps your fidgeting calm down so you could hopefully keep up your badass attitude.

“Oh yeah I deserve it. You know why?” Shaking your head no at her question, you shiver when her free hand comes up to rest on your cheek. Becky pulls your face close to hers, you can smell her minty breath, her mouth just a couple inches away from yours. “Because I can get you to throw all cares out the window, and because we both know that we’re the only ones with our eyes set on each other.”

“So what you're saying is that we’re destined?” You both slowly get closer to each other, that is until The Man finally pulls you into her for a deep kiss. A kiss filled with all the words left unspoken between each other. Finally breaking apart after the need for oxygen became a necessity Becky spoke in a whisper as you two weren’t that far away, your lips still brushing when either one speaks.

“What I’m saying is that you and I are going to go on a date, after our matches are over, and not only that, but I’m going to be redoing our first kiss, because as much as I love the whole kissing you while you sit on my lap thing, we can save that for another time,” she smirked at the blush that crept up your face,” because you deserve the perfect night, with the perfect first kiss.” Sitting in silence for a few minutes thankful that one has walked past, or became witness to the very intimate moment.

That silence was broken when you spoke up,” So you’re telling me that you like me? Like actually like me.”

“Yes I actually like you, might I dare even say I love you.”

[sturniolopanini]

Skinny Dipping - Matthew Sturniolo

P4 (FINALE) (P3, P2, P1)

Warnings: swearing again hehe, crying, rain 🌧️, miscommunication 😬🤨👀, toxic masculinity ✊😔, 

CHARACTERS - 6260

WORDS - 1205 

A/N: you never saw this coming did ya?

| if we could take it all off and just exist

y/n - pink

Matt - blue

  Summary/context idk:After Matt and y/n embark on so many adventures, escaping from the reality of the world together feeling completely in love. Y/n starts to feel disconnected even more when Matt suddenly stops replying to her messages. In other words, ghosting her. And she’s curious as to why but she won’t like the answer…

I almost swear it’s like I was falling into a high school love with Matt again. As we talked and talked and hung out even more, we’d look back on our past and realize it was never made out to what it seemed to be. I might’ve said this a million times but we’ve come to agreement that really, our fights were never huge. And it gets a little hard to explain after a while but they were never a big deal know that I look back on it..

     Matt and I earlier this week had gone to multiple places, he showed me around LA more and introduced me to some people. I felt so comfortable with him that I didn’t care who he introduced me too, I’d simply play along and befriend them. 

     With Matt, I was pretty much never alone in my city. if I were to go on a quick coffee run, Matt would be with me. If I just wanted to go on a little stroll for fresh air, Matt would offer to join. It’s not like we’re exactly attached at the hip and I’m sure it might not seem like a lot to him cause he obviously has tons of friends- but with him being my only true one so far, I was down bad.

     Yet, I’d gotten this sort of feeling that he was too? like he wasn’t totally enveloped in this little relationship but ever since we went skinny dipping and to our nostalgic restaurant and plenty of walks, he had to at least have some mutual liking for me….right? So why wasn’t he responding to my texts…at all… maybe he’s busy? He’s probably dealing with a lot of work- or something..

     I’d send a simple ‘hey’ or ‘wanna meet up at etc’, but he either leaves me on delivered or read…why? An anxiety filled part of me wonders if he just completely dropped me….did I say something wrong? Did I mess it up, was it me? He seemed so happy every time we hung out so…why…?

     All it took was a ‘leave me alone, we aren’t even dating so stop acting like it and you were just a friend that I don’t want anymore’ to give me a panic attack. Id only sent him a couple messages and even some after that asking why he was ignoring me…and he says that. It shatters my heart in two when he says I was just a friend he doesn’t want anymore. Were we friends when we made out naked in public? Which sounds pretty fucking vulgar but it’s the truth and why is he hiding from it

     He has to know how much it’s hurting me right now, for him to say he never thought of me romantically and that it was pretty much all just casual-hurts like a bitch. I feel like I’m hyperventilating and sobbing in my bed, feeling like I pretty much lost my only true friend here in LA- terrified to have to go back to the life before I met him again…

     Not to mention I was falling in deep shit again with him, I could barely go to sleep without wondering what he smells like when he wakes up..what his morning voice sounds like. Does he have messy hair when he wakes up? I wanted to get used to him in my life and I lost it again before I could even touch it with the tip of my finger.     

     Sure I was overreacting cause it’s barely been a month but when I fall in love I fall deep and fast. And already knowing Matt and having a past was just a set for failure with me. I wasn’t gonna give up on him now…I can’t.

     I don’t even care that it’s midnight or that it’s pouring rain outside, I just grab my jacket and my keys. Jetting our the door and driving to his house. My hair scrambled and my eyes puffy and slightly red from crying earlier. How could he just call everything we had done pretty much pointless? 

     As soon as I arrive at his apartment I pound on his front door endlessly, eager and desperate for him to answer. I need to tell him how I feel, I need to try and convince him at least that this is worth it. We’re worth it?

     “Y/n….what the hell are you doing here- it’s pouring and it’s fucking midnight!?”

     He opens the door with a groggy voice that makes my stomach churn, his hair slightly messy, I clench my jacket and gulp quickly. My heart pounding.

     “You couldn’t have just expected me to give up so easily? Matt I- I can’t believe you could just ignore everything!”

     “Look- I didn’t text you that to be disciplined on how to live my life! I- it was a mistake…okay?”

     A mistake…. It’s like he just slapped my heart silly and watched it crumble. And worse is, I can’t stop loving him. Even with how sad I am, partially mad, he makes me so happy and flustered. He starts talking but tears sting my eyes, till I don’t realize I’m crying. Tears are streaming down my cheeks, almost more than the rain already pouring

     “God- don’t cry! It’s just so complicated y/n and I…..I don’t want any of that- I just thought if I dropped you sharply then I wouldn’t have to deal with the pain as…as much as you..”

     He mumbles sort of embarrassingly…and as much as I love how he admitted he had feelings for me it sucks he has to say it in this state. And how fucking selfish! He wanted to hurt me more than he’d get hurt so he wouldn’t be embarrassed about hurting so much? My heart aches and I feel absolutely wrecked for this not even breakup. I wipe my tears with my sleeve.

     “Well I hope that works out great for you, Matt”

     I sniffle and turn around before I start sobbing again. I can’t just completely break in front of him, then it would give him the royalty of exactly what he wanted. I can’t just give myself to him completely when he obviously wants nothing to do with me so suddenly…why can’t he just commit…god- I turn around right before leaving his apartment as I point at him bitterly. 

     “Fuck you….okay? You suck”

     I say through choked sobs, shaking him off and wiping my eyes quickly as I rush down the steps back to my car. My whole body trembling as I cry, soaking wet in my car. Alone in LA- all besides the dumb friends he introduced me to. I never wanted it to end this way but I can’t believe it at all….

     When I finally reach my house I just break down in my bed, tearing my jacket off and face planting In bed… safe to say I will never ever rekindle with any of my exes. No matter how charming or perfect they may seem, I can’t go through this again. The second chance I thought we had, it was bullshit. All of it was bullshit. He was bullshit, I was bullshit, the true love was bullshit! Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit….

     A/N I lowkey feel like I didn’t build up their relationship enough to make it seem this bad or advanced or whatever u get the just of it (I had this drafted Aug 2nd 😭)also I went a little askew from the song hehe call me a rebel))

@camzeecorner @dominicfikeenthusiast @sturn-saturn @arixsturns @ineedchriscock

[thebisexualdogdad]

hey, sorry if this is invasive - idk how open u are abt gender things these days. but anyway, ive been a fan of ur blog since probably 2019, maybe before? during that time period, i thought i was a transman and found some serious comfort in ur works. in times since, my gender has changed a lot. now, im essentially back to square one - what id like to ask is, how and when did u "know" u were transmasculine? ik u identify now as nonbinary, how did u know that was ur true identity? i identify somewhat with transmasculine non-binary, and id just like ur perspective from ur journey as you've been such an inspiration to me.

thanks,

A

First of all thank you for the kind words and for following me for so long!

And secondly I have no problem talking about these things because I think it's important for us to be open when it comes to identity and the way its fluid and can change, especially with all the de-transistioners on social media who took a complete left turn and are now super anti trans because thier identity changed and think gender affirming care ruined thier life.

So my identity has always been a journey, when I was a kid I never felt like a girl but no one ever told me I didn't have to be one so I spent my entire life confused and not understanding why I didn't fit in with the other girls. When I was in high school it was okay to be gay but there was so much biphobia still rampant that I told myself well I like girls more so that must mean I'm gay because you can't like both. It was when I was 18 and fully understood what it meant to be trans I was like oh shit this why I've always felt this way. I'm trans but again at that time being non binary wasn't as accepted so even though sometimes I felt in the middle ground I must be a boy because you have to be one or the other.

Around 22 is when I learned more about bisexuality and realized I liked everyone and that being bisexual wasn't a bad thing like people wanted me to think. Even though I learned about being non binary years ago it wasn't until this year when I finally stopped to think about my own identity and understood that even though I am definitely on the masculine side of the gender spectrum and not female in anyway, part of me still feels in the middle ground and that I like using they/them pronouns along with he/him so currently transmasculine nonbinary is where im at.

What I'm trying to get at is that it's okay to not understand your identity, for some people it's crystal clear and for some people it's not so clear and takes time while for some like me it's fluid and ever changing which I can't stress enough it's okay for your identity to change during different parts of your life and don't let anyone try to make you feel bad for changing your identity!

If anyone wants to share thier own journey with either thier gender identity or sexuality in my inbox please know its a safe space to do so!

[boiling-potato]

Warning: possible stalking

Characters: Y/n, Madison Cortwell and Salem Whitlock

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Creator's note: huh it's been a while since I've written something. This also had been sitting in my draft for a while now and it's just now I tried to finish it... I just gave up in the last part but anyway hope you guys still like it!! ^^

Also here Ace! Come get your man! (⁠ ⁠ꈍ^ꈍ⁠)🫴✨

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Salem Whitlock (my oc) x Y/n

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Late night study session

"Jesus... h... Christ.."

You mumbled, starring at the stack of papers that your supposed to finish overnight. Being in a private school can really be a pain in the ass since you have to live up in everyone's expectations being in a school full of destined to success people, not to mention you also really need to join the student council because your parents are pressuring you thinking that it will higher the chance of you being the top and the most respectable student in your class. 'why can't they just give you a break?' you thought to yourself sighing.

"Is this all of it?" You ask. "No, it's just the half. I don't want to give it all to you and expect to finish it overnight so I'll just give the rest to you tomorrow afternoon. You are dismiss." Said the blonde girl in front of you. Madison Cortwell, the student council president and the daughter of the man who owns this school. Though she's very smart and had a great skill in leadership, she wasn't really the easiest person to get along with. She always points out unnecessary mistakes and gives you unwanted advice and opinions, not to mention the fact that she's very demanding and sassy whenever you're talking to her. 'God help these entitled narcissist' you thought while putting the papers in your bag standing up and heading to door. You walk through the hallway passing classrooms heading towards the front of the school.

You collapse on your bed after a long relaxing hot/cold shower, just what you needed before you pull an all nighter. Finally After preparing yourself for it you grabbed your bag and pull out the paperworks.

Finally! After 4 hours you finally finished, stretching you looked at the clock on your nightstand at the side on your bed. 1:00 am, you sigh relief that you still have time to do your homeworks. You then grabbed your bag and reach in to grab your homeworks. 'Oh no, no, no, no, no, no no..' you frantically rummage through your bad trying to find it. "Fuck.." you said out loud. Trying so hard not to slap yourself for being so forgetful.. You sat there for a few minutes thinking..... which one would you rather do: go back in school and do your homeworks on the school library or be humiliated tomorrow by your strict professor........

You grumbled walking on the sidewalk while trying to warm your hands by rubbing your hands together. Yeah you hate that professor, he will not take any excuse when a student didn't do their homework and will literally spend half of the class's time to lecture them... Ugh that's a private school for you... Yeah no you'd rather loose sleep rather than dealing with that. Luckily (not really) though, the gates of the school are not always locked because is full of all nighter teacher and maybe even students.... ok maybe not full but there's always three-five teachers or students who's always stays at school to do homework and paperworks and unfortunately you have to be one of them..

Finally reaching the school you showed your ID to the nightguard and explain them your situation and finally send you on your way. You entered the library sitting down on the nearest desk and setting down your homeworks and start suffering. After a while you looked at the clock in the wall, 2:00 am, yeah your pretty exhausted and you're definitely not going to get back home anytime soon... But maybe you could just take a nap here? You're still not finished but it feels like you're going to collapse at any moment now. You need a rest.. you then close your eyes and started dozing off....

"Your answer to number 17 is wrong."

"Fuck!" You hissed, jumping at the sudden voice behind you, you then turn around looking at the tall stranger in front of you.

"Oops..."

You looked at him, too shocked to reply. He looked like his about your age, maybe even older? And judging by the uniform he was wearing you assume that he's one of the few students who stays in the school for reasons like what you have right now. He has a shaggy pink hair, yellow piercing eyes that looks like he could see right through your soul and looks... Incredibly pale, he also has bags under his eyes supporting your theory. He was hovering over you like a wolf ready to have his meal. Even though he wears a small smile and looks like he has no bad intentions, you still got the creeps and can't help but feel... Unease...

"U-umm what..?" You ask, trying not to sound scared or shaky. "..... The answer to number 17, it's wrong, the great depression didn't start around that time, it's too early. It started around 1929 and ended around 1939.." he said eyeing your homeworks. You looked at your homeworks looking at the thing he's pointing out. "Oh.." you said "umm.. thanks...?" You said looking back at him, not knowing what to say next. "Are you ok? You look like your really tired.... Do you want me to help you?" "Umm.." if you're being honest.. you really don't need (want) this guy's help since he gives you the creeps and you really just want to get this over with and go home, you immediately brainstorm of an excuse on why you don't need it but you don't have to worry! it doesn't matter! Since he already took a sit next to you...

You sighed

'this is going to be a long night..'

It's been 30 minutes since he's been helping you with your homeworks.... well you didn't really do much since he was the only one answering the questions and explaining to you why that's the right answer so throughout the time you literally just nod and agree while trying so hard not to doze off. You don't even know why he's doing this.. Is it really just the fact that he wants to help you or is it the fact that he's bored and just wants to play teacher with a lonely student who's in the library at 2 in the morning.. Not to mention you don't even know his name.. yeah.. who is this guy anyway?

"Umm Would you mind if I ask you a few questions?" You asked ".. Not at all, ask away." He said not looking up from your homework. "... What's your name?" He stopped and looked at you confused "oh.. I.. haven't told you my name yet?" "Umm no? I don't think so.." you said. "Oh.. sorry about that I.. forgot.. my name's Salem, Salem Whitlock." "Oh I see well my name is- " before you can even say your name he interrupted you "y/n, y/n l/n. I know.." you looked at him stunned, he must've noticed it because he lift your textbook were you saw your full name there.

"Oh.."

He smiled and got back on finishing your homework. You looked at him thinking of what you can ask him next... then it clicked "what are you even doing here so late?" He pause, he looks like he's thinking of something to say and after that he looks at you and smiled "same reason as you, I have homeworks to do.. I just finished early." "Oh I see, but why do it here? Can't you just do it in your house?" You asked. "Ah yeah... I could but..." He paused "Umm.. I just... Really like the school when it's night.. it's.. quiet... And very empty.. Unlike the daytime.... it's perfect.." he said without breaking eye contact while smiling. You looked back at him unsure of what to say back. What he said does make sense, a lot of people enjoy the creepy environment that the school gives during nighttime but.. there's something about how he said it made you unease.... maybe it's the fact that the way he pause whenever he says a word? Or the fact that he didn't break eye contact while telling you this.

"Does anyone have ever told you that you look very pleasant to look at?" He then said out of the blue. You looked at him confused. "Umm... thank you?" You said Also not breaking eye contact. You then hear a loud thud-like sound that made you flinch and looked at Salem's hand, the sound is coming from your textbook being slammed shut "anyway, I'm finished! Here." He said handing you your homework. You took it from his hand and examined it. They all seemed correct and the explanation throughout the whole question sounds like it's really coming from an encyclopedia down to every single detail. You looked at the clock in the wall 2:56 am which means this random guy just finished most of your homework in the span of almost an hour. 'ok maybe he's not so bad after all..' you thought looking at him

"thank you. This is a really big help for me." You said giving him a small smile "your welcome.. so does this means we're friends?" He said standing up "sure!" you said putting your homework in your bag "Hmm good, well I better get going then." He said walking towards the library door, but before he leaves he stopped and turned around looking at you "oh right, one last thing before I go. Be careful on your way to (Street name) I heard there's a lot of crimes being committed there so be sure to carry something to defend yourself while walking there."

You smiled pulling out your pocket knife from your bag showing him. "Don't worry I always have something to defend myself whenever I'm out." He smiled nodding and finally leaving. You put your knife on your pockets and finally headed out.

You got home at 3:20 am so you still have 4 hours to sleep. You dropped your bag on the floor and threw yourself on your bed thinking about your encounter with Salem. You started dozing off while recalling your conversation with him but then stood up remembering something that made your heart dropped.

How... How did he know your street address?

[yourpreciousrose]

ok I have a Stranger Things theory...

(very long)

so has anyone heard of ley lines? they are real things but also are common in sci-fi (which ST is sci-fi). do yall think maybe they could be what those splits in Hawkins are representing?

I'm going to provide some information about them and maybe some theories that could be built off of them.

let's start off with what they are irl. they are lines that crisscross the globe like latitude and longitude lines. (remember the map and Suzie giving them the cordinents, they followed the latitude and longitude to find Nina where the X is...where El was...and now there's a big X in Hawkins...could be nothing or could have been directly trying to tell us something who knows)

"along these lines there's concentrated energy that can be harnessed by certain individuals" (now if these are ley lines this could be something interesting that could be incorporated into s5)

"there is a straight line that connect seven different landforms that bear the name Michael, or some form of it"

this could indicate that Michael is an important part in s5, he is the heart after all. but also 7...funny.

"many people have drawn their own ley lines to prove just how coincidental they can be, connecting everything from pizza restaurants to movie theaters to churches on maps"

I just thought this was interesting since in s4 we see all these things or they are at least mentioned.

"ley lines can be found anywhere. possible points include castles (or even places with castle in the place name)"

*cough* Castle Byers *cough*

"it is also believed that where two or more lines converge, you have a place of great power and energy"

I feel like the location is important, it meets at the library...isn't that where they found Will?

"some people believe you can detect a ley line by several metaphysical means, such as a pendulum or by using dowsing rods"

I just found it interesting they used grandfather clocks specifically, a pendulum in them. 4 chimes, 4 gates, 4 lines

"now ley lines are hypothetical alignments between places of power, which can be magical, magnetic, or psychic in nature. these places of power are where two or more ley lines cross and are often known as ley nodes, nodes, or nexuses. mages can tap into them to gain their powers. places where multiple lines intersect at nodes attract wizards and other supernatural beings like moths to a flame"

do i even need to explain?

"where ley lines supposedly crossed, a strong power spot was created. these nodes could produce an energy vortex. ley lines or the random lines of natural energy that make up earths electromagnetic field"

that would explain why the electromagnetic field was disrupted

how negative energy vortex are created:

"Untimly death- case of an accidental, untimely, or unhappy death, a negative energy vortex gets created in that location."

literally how the gates were created in s4.

effects of negative energy vortex:

feeling completely drained with lack of energy, uneasiness, aches in the nervous zones that are the head, neck, and back. hightened negative emotions  Anger, Anxiety, Stress, Hatred, Fear, Insecurity & Jealousy.

if these really are whats going on then what if they aren't just fighting real monsters but monsters of their minds, their emotions (or maybe thats what the monsters have always been idk just turned physical idk). MONSTERS OF THEIR OWN MIND. this not only would fall perfectly into play for coming of age since that's just what happens around that age especially with puberty(the kids ages) but a lot of people are theorizing that they recorded parts of s5 already due to some people at table reads that didn't show in s4 also Noah in his final outfit but at the rollerrink.

id be interesting to see these emotions coming to light in s5 and it would definitely add to the conflict

negative energy vortexes can also cause nightmares and depression...

effects energy vortex portals:

Dark/ Evil Energies – these are energies that are extremely bad which pollute/corrupt the environment with high amounts of negativity.

Negative Spirits/ Bewitchment- in extreme cases spirits can possess someone. Such a person slowly starts losing control over his/her own intellect and starts acting as per the desires of the spirit within. Once possessed it is very difficult to break free from the clutches of the possessed spirit and it generally requires a lot of counter rituals to be performed. Such a scenario is very taxing on both the person as well as their family members.

*cough* s2 & 3 *cough*

Animal Entities – Another way a portal can be used is to send Negative Animal Entities. These entities are the lowest/worst form of negative energies sent to cause powerful psychic attacks upon their target. Once attacked by an animal entity a person may feel extreme energy drainage, sharp pain in the body (mostly it is the nervous regions like head, neck, and back), temporary paralysis, sudden accidents, and in case of an extremely powerful attack it could also result in bleeding from the nose or other such body parts.

*cough* s4 victims *cough*

these lines were probably always there just the upsidedown hadn't come through yet. Vecna can see into the future it seems so he probably planned where the attacks should happen and where the gates should form, probably those places for a specific reason. maybe we can dig into that and see whats significant about the places, if anything is at all. thatd be cool, ill try to look into it.

dogs are attracted to positive energy vortexs.

maybe there could be a positive energy vortex at the Byers, specifically castle Byers hence the castle part mentioned earlier (the dog barking) that could be how Will stayed safe bc of a positive energy vortex

Negative vortexes spiral downward in a counterclockwise motion and create a draining or depleting energy. Cats tend to be attracted to them.

the silver cat feeds...

"An Energy Vortex is a strong electromagnetic mass of energy that is constantly in flux, rotating inwards in an anticlockwise or clockwise motion. This energy vortex is invisible to the naked eye (unless the person is a clairvoyant), but most people can sense these energies in the form of positive or negative vibes, feelings, emotions, or mere tingling sensations."

clairvoyant...true sight...also in s2 the mindflayer also seems to create a vortex and trapping Will inside as it goes into him could be relevant. also this could be a cool way to incorporate Max in s5, ik they said she's brain dead but they could be lying who knows. make her clairvoyant, make her see things then use morse code to tap hints to the others.

to close a negative portal: negative portals spin counterclockwise. To close them, first locate the center of the portal then invoke the prayer to Archangel Michael, then spin the Violet Flame/Amethyst crystal clockwise into the portal

could El maybe have to go into the upsidedown to close it for good? bc the upsidedown is in the past so you have to bring it clockwise like bringing it to the present? El restarted Maxs heart maybe something to do with that? idk just ideas

we learned El likes purple in s4. again Michael is mentioned but oh just wait you're about to have your mind blown.

Archangel Michael very specifically has a sword AND FIGHTS A RED DRAGON WITH HIS ANGLES

 “Michael and his angels fighting against the dragon. And the dragon and his angels fought back. Michael is also shown facing a Great Red Dragon during the Apocalypse, identified as Satan, the Devil and the Serpent."

Apocalypse! Red Dragon! Sword! THERES 7 ARCHANGELS! THE F*CKING 7 AGAIN! I was wondering why there was so much religion references in s4 THIS COULD BE WHY IT COULD HAVE BEEN A HINT

Speaking of Dragons...you know what ley lines are also called?

DRAGON PATHS (IN CHINA)

a trip to China sounds nice 😉

Chinese scholars have long been aware of the existence of the lung-mei, or dragon paths. Everyone experiences these energetic places differently and some people can be more sensitive than others. These locations tend to magnify the energy or beliefs that are out of alignment with your natural self so that you can face them and become more aligned with your true self.

what if thats something they have to do in s5? face their true selves. that was also hinted with the neverending story, the magic mirror. just a thought.

Lung mei or the paths of the Dragon are lines of energy discovered by the ancient Chinese. The Heart of the Dragon is said to be found at a knoll (small hill) standing in a small valley among the hills. From this center heart, the veins of the Dragon current run over the surrounding valleys and hills. Near the Dragons heart, the force is strong and active. This is where the Dragon (painting) and the Tiger (school mascot, Will has them in his room), or the feminine and masculine currents merge harmoniously together.

the heart of the dragon...would the the center where the split is right? they couldn't enter there bc the force would be strong and active. could they maybe in s5 have to go into the upsidedown as groups at each gate and each face a different thing like the gates in the neverending story. they will have to find there way to the heart of the dragon (the heart of the upsidedown) to destroy whatever is there. which is why their hearts are important, like Will says Mikes the heart, Mike is his heart. hearts can represent love, love will probably be how they defeat Vecna. could that also be why El lost? bc the couples, the loves weren't intact? a lot had problems this season, but also self love was lacking too. El for example viewing herself as a monster. when she looked to Max the vines loosened, Max never treated her as different or looked at her as a monster which is why she could free herself and hurt Vecna. love increased and was able to hurt the hate. now I know this will make milevens mad but I think bylers going to be together, Mike is Wills heart. Els heart is everyone which could be why she went to the front while everyone was behind her, she will need their love to defeat Vecna but that will require the other relationships to be in good places, so thats probably why they are separated off into groups. all different aspects of love will be involved not just romantic, things like self love, friendship, family etc.

also wasn't the library where Will was found when he had those things in him, like they were killing him and draining the life from him. so maybe thats why its important, could be a source which is why I'd be part of a heart maybe.

everyone fighting vecna&the upsidedown??

this might be a reach but "you can fly" and "you have to fly" is what El is told, dragon's fly. I don't think they are fighting El, they could but I dobut it. but notice its feminine and masculine energy that merge harmoniously. if Els like a dragon and Wills like a tiger maybe that could mean they defeat Vecna together. let me have this please I love their sibling dynamic so much give me more of that in s5.

theres also this thing called The Crystal Vortex. its a vehicle, a gateway to be transcended, through the setting of your intentions and can be programmed for healing, manifestation, Soul journeys, accessing past lives, astral travel, attending Mystery Schools, connection with your Spirit Guides, Angels, Highest Self and all divine beings of light, love and ascension available to you. The Crystal Vortex was named and created by Spirit, from the realms of the Seraphim, Archangels and Ascended Masters.

this may not be relevant idk but it mentions Crystals and Archangels so I thought I should include it

thats all for this individual theory, oh also Watkins (the person who suggest the existence of ley lines) sounds very similar to Hawkins. and William Henry Black may have inspired it...It could all just be a coincidence but then again maybe its not.

from this theory it also can connect to so many other theories people have created and I've created. like the rainbow of light from the mlp ep (mine), the magic mirror and gates in a neverending story (mine), the way to defeating Vecna (mine&others), the time travel theory (someone elses), the Nancy Drew theory (mine) etc. I can share more about these too.

I hope you all enjoyed this let me know your thoughts if you have any.

[kisswoshita]

every year that passes, i complete another year of living and most people see it as a good thing, but for me its not. mostly because i want to be a teenage girl forever, but also because theres this feeling and thought that tells me that theres something i need to complete before i turn 18. my life went down hill after 7th grade and i still cry about it because i lost my chance at being a normal teenager. i didn’t go to school for my 8th grade year because of how bad my depression was. i wanted to kill myself, but i didn’t because my heart had hope for something that i wasn’t aware of. after a while of my life slowly falling apart, freshman year arrives. what was i thinking knowing im going to start high school? i was scared, excited and nervous. i was feeling all kinds of emotions. i had thought that starting high school would make my problems slowly disappear. i would see all my old friends and make new friends along the way. id join clubs and actually start doing something with my life. “im finally going to get better this year” i thought, but it all just got worse. i stopped going to school for a long time. i left my mentally and emotionally abusive boyfriend, but then i realized how i lost such a big part of me when i was with him and it broke me so much that i couldn’t get my old self back. i cried every day and every night like it was a routine. i was all alone and had to get used to it. i shopped by myself, i walked by myself, i learned things by myself, i guided myself for a long time. later on arrives 10th grade, i still wasn’t going to school and after a few things that happened during freshman year (i only went for about two weeks) i decided to do homeschool so i enrolled myself in an online program and started doing the work everyday. i was getting better after time yet i knew my depression was still there, it just wasn’t as bad as it was before. i learned a lot of things about myself, i made a few friends and reconnected with old ones. i did a lot of things throughout that time. theres still so many things i haven’t mentioned here, but thats okay. i graduated early, at sixteen, in 2023. i was happy that i didn’t have to worry about school anymore, but there was no ceremony since it was online school. yeah maybe it may not seem like a big deal, but for me it is. i always wished for my family to see me walk down the stage and i dreamed of doing it with the girls that have always meant so much to me. it never happened and i wish it did. i wish the things that happened in 7th grade didn’t happen to me so i wouldn’t have gotten severely depressed. i never went to homecoming yet i always wanted to and i most likely wont ever be able to experience prom. i don’t have any pictures of me with people because of how insecure i’ve always been. i lost my chance at being a normal teenage girl and i wont ever get that back again. thats why im gonna try to make the most out of being 17, but im losing hope. its not going well so far. i need to complete things this year. i need to get skinny and be pretty so i can be able to take pictures with friends and family and have pictures to look back at once im an adult. im running out of time and im afraid.

[jiishwa]

since i finished death note recently i just thought I’d share some of my overall thoughts about the series under the cut, yknow, just for fun or whatever…

•firstly i really wanna talk about misa’s character. i honestly feel like she was such a waste, being as she was kind of the only long term main female character, i really wished she would’ve been like dumb and obsessed with light as an act but been super smart and cunning behind the scenes. i wish she would’ve been a more even match for light and used her “im in love with kira” act as a way to just get closer to him and observe him so she could play him, and light thought she was easy to control and manipulate all along so he wouldn’t have seen any eventual betrayal coming. just thought that would’ve been a cool plot twist. all that being said, i still wouldn’t say i hated or even disliked misa as a character, i just wish she would’ve been more complex because i think that could’ve been way more interesting (and we love to see a girl be evil lol).

•one of the things that kind of did get on my nerves, however, was that i felt there was just waaaaay too much mind reading and 5d chess. like, at times, i felt like i was just skimming over super wordy sections (and it’s not because i don’t like words. reading books, aside from manga, is actually one of my biggest hobbies. i love words) because they would eventually become confusing for me, especially when two “masterminds” were going on about how they’d been playing each other all along and i would just be like “ok. im lost. also how could you both have foreseen and predicted that much? anyway…” and i felt like it didn’t leave much room for any real plot twists since, well, we always knew what everyone was thinking. Even when they reveal the final “gotcha” moment at the end there almost wasn’t any pay off in that for me because the entire series I’d gotten used to people finding new crazy ways to one up each other.

•team matsuda let’s gooooo!! i absolutely loved matsuda and im so glad he got to make it to the end! i really thought light was gonna get away with killing everyone before somehow getting caught but im glad that wasn’t the case in the end. matsuda was like the task force’s resident golden retriever, he was the only hope in all that darkness sometimes and i just. matsuda was my favorite character that’s all i have to say.

•i feel like maybe this was sort of the point, but i think light is probably the most unlikable “protagonist(?)” I’ve ever read like. i dunno. i just see him and my brain goes “yeeeeesss king, give me nothiiiiiiing” like on one hand i feel like i have no opinions on him but on the other if i saw him in the street id probably wanna sucker punch him just for being such an arrogant dick all the time lol.

•there was too much time in the middle where it felt like nothing was really happening. Like specifically after L’s death where everything just takes place in their secret hideout. not gonna lie there’s a good portion of the middle that was pretty boring to me and I wish we could’ve maybe seen some things from other peoples perspectives or i dunno, gotten some flashbacks or something to learn more about certain characters but that’s also probably the part of my brain that’s like “obsessed with lore” and wants to know “useless” information just for fun.

•i did not expect L to die that fast. like i knew he would die, eventually, but i definitely thought it was gonna be more towards the end than only halfway through (and maybe that’s why what followed for a while after that was sort of boring to me)? i dunno, but i definitely enjoyed L as a character more than light.

•i thought Near was just ok. i would’ve sort of liked it for light’s main adversary after L to have had a different approach/personality than L. Part of me is sort like “why get rid of L just to replace him with someone exactly the same?”

•I would’ve really liked to know what happened to misa and light’s mom and sister after his death. since they wouldn’t have been told he was kira since those who were still alive who knew swore to keep kiras death a secret, i would’ve liked to know what kind of cover up story they were told, what their reactions were, and where they ended up after the fact. also would’ve liked to know what ryuk was up to too. those final few pages showing all those people who still worshipped kira (i think that’s what that was supposed to be right?) felt sort of out of place to me but that’s just a small nitpick.

•as much as i have my criticisms though i really did enjoy finally getting around to reading death note, since it’s basically considered a classic at this point, and at the very least I’ll enjoy some of the memes a little more lol.

[0thsense]

8/8/2023

It's my birthday tomorrow. Everybody has left the south bay now. Martin, Reggie, Alex are all gone. I guess Steve is still here but he doesn't really hang out with us, or rather me anymore. I don't really know what to type here, as I haven't been thinking too intensely about too many things. The times when I'm doing worse are the times I'm more intensely in thought, so I guess I fail at thinking positively.

Anyways, I'll be 28 American years old tomorrow. My 27th year was better than my 26th year I guess. Definitely still in my bottom 5 years overall but hey its the first upward year in a long time. Maybe since college. I've managed to keep up gym and I've even started running which is slightly surprising. It's good because who knows what may have happened if I wasn't able to keep up gym. I'm planning to run my first 5 miler tomorrow. I have to wake up in the morning because I'll be eating with my family in the evening up in SF, mostly out of a feeling of obligation. I wonder if they know. I'm letting the fact that I'm not being lazy on my birthday feel symbolic.

One thing I've been telling myself is that I'm god's strongest soldier. Obviously that's not actually true, but motivationally it helps. It's one of those things that there's no harm in believing in the moment, and it brings me joy. Speaking of another thing that brings me joy, Lily and I agreed to go climbing sometime soon. She's willing to come down from SF for me, and seems genuinely interested in hanging out with me. I need to keep my mindset that I'm just trying to be there for her, though it seems I overestimated how depressed she was. Well, better safe than sorry.

I visited Yan a couple weeks ago along with Gerald. It was a spur of the moment thing, and the flight was expensive as a result. I honestly felt a little pressured into going. We did a lot of activities involving physical exertion and also hung out with his church buddies a lot. Yan is super into the culture there it seems. His lifestyle as a chad in NC honestly bothered me a little bit. He has more pride and ego than I remember and also some strong ideals about what it means to be a man, which I don't really agree with. I may be making judgments too hastily but I was disappointed at his treatment of Jeremy, a dude in his small group who seemed a little autistic. I wasn't able to express this to him. At the same time I'm glad he's obviously doing well for himself out there. According to society, I probably have no authority to judge someone who's found a lifestyle that works for them.

My next step should almost certainly be to make my sleep schedule really consistent. I'd like to sleep at 1-2am every day. The deadline for working on the game is fast approaching. I have less than 4 months left, and I've told too many people about the new york deadline. Sigh... I certainly have some mental block about coding. When I open the IDE my mood instantly sinks. I had the strange idea of treating coding like working out, doing reps of opening the IDE lmao.

Wow I thought this post would be short because I didn't feel like I had much to write about but here we are. I went to Ralph's wedding last weekend. It made me realize I've made a mistake, choosing the jolly group over Ralph's group. I just respect Ralph's close circle so much more these days than the people in jolly. They are more considerate and more secure, and jolly isn't even dank anymore. At the end of the day jolly has now devolved into a bunch of individuals who are either troubled or successful but unkind people. Obviously this is a bit of a generalization. Maybe I wasn't good enough to join Ralph's group anyways, or maybe the grass is always greener on the other side. I might as well try though, since jolly in the south bay is pretty much dead.

Finally there's the issue of getting more involved with Austin's church. Unfortunately my experiences visiting Yan have turned me off even more from Christianity, but I really haven't given Austin's church a fair chance. The demographics are obviously very different so maybe it'll be a better fit, though so far my instinct tells me it's only a small chance. It'll give me something to do I guess.

[thekaijudude]

Blazar feels incomplete. I really do like the concept of a primitive ultra but I also feel blazar would be better off with an actual plot and overarching villain (maybe Blazar's God is an evil more advanced subspecies), more flashbacks on Blazar's planet and evolution of whatever lead to his Ultra race would be cool. Rn the show has the pieces but it feels like a burning fire is missing. What would you add for a plotline?

Quite a few people I talked to share similar sentiments as you

Tho I would argue that the series dosent even have pieces that could be linked at all

Cause literally nothing is going on since everything gets started and resolved by the end of the episode with no lasting consequences or implications. Like theres no expected climax, no building up to anything, and literally nothing is happening which makes each episode feels like the series is just going nowhere at all, where each episode after ep 2 feels like a brand new ep 3 after SKaRD is established, rinse and repeat

Theres literally no sense of direction in this series

But we do have similar thoughts on how it shouldve went as Ive also posted before here that since a new unique ultra origin has been introduced (M421), Id rather learn more about that and specifically about Blazar himself since everything else has literally no relevance beyond his own series. So, Blazar's own characterization, character development, and delving into M421 are strong, substantial points they shouldve went into.

(Tho I think they would be going into Blazar's God at some point since the uchuusen magazine bothered to point this fact out)

Rn theyre treating the Blazar series as an early Heisei series, that being every human character operates as if the titular Ultra dosent even exist until the last 8 mins of every episode (rmb when the Chief of Staff told Gento to investigate whether Blazar needs to be exterminated? Yeah no one remembers cause not even the show does)

Theyre basically treating the Ultra as a plot device rather than an actual character

So what I would first do is to treat Blazar as an actual character by having him being able to communicate somewhat with Gento and/or him trying to figure out where he was and learning about his new surroundings. And vice versa Gento actually carrying out his main mission to actively learn about Blazar

And this ties in with the information we got that Blazar did come from a black hole, but since he was later then also revealed to come from M421, I suspect that Blazar was trying to flee from something that caused him to take desperate measures to escape from it by jumping into a Black Hole, therefore ending up in another universe.

This character would then be the main antagonist. Tho, in order for it to be an overarching villain, the plot should be more complicated and involve more characters, but its just that the plot setting thus far dosent really allow for more interesting nor more complex plot developments, otherwise, even if u have a main antagonist, youll only be able to hear about only in the last 3 episodes or so (like X)

So imo, I would totally revamp the entire plot premise and have Blazar's species involved in some form of 3-way, large-scale battle involving 3 parties, Blazar's species, another primitive race of ultras, and a primitive kaiju species (might be a territorial dispute or its simply just a normal hunter-hunted type of conflict). Where both Blazar and the rival are stranded on Gento's earth while fighting so they both are recuperating and hiding from the kaiju species (Blazar's original form did not have the red and blue stripes, so that could be a hint that Blazar was injured), so for the first half of the series, Blazar has to deal with lesser versions of said kaiju species invading earth due to the spillover along with frequent fights with said rival

This eventually builds up to a final showdown between the both of them as the mid-series climax. But before either could deal the finishing blow, a greater (or Alpha) version of said kaiju shows up and interrupts the fight, forcing them both to band together to defeat it, with them ending up finally realizing that their tribes alone are far too weak to stand against the said kaiju race and they needed to band together to actually stand a chance (this revelation might not come right away but this should have them start thinking in this direction)

Then the 2nd half would cover the process of them forging their bonds and overcoming specialized versions of said greater kaiju until they inevitably encounter a final series boss level (An Apex?) version of it. And after finally defeating it, they both return to their own universe to aim to show their respective tribes on what they found and convince them to actually come to peace as its only a matter of time before both tribes gets eradicated by said kaiju species.

This is simple enough to fit within a single series and stay grounded as a series thats taking place on Earth which also serves as a gateway to the larger perspective of what M421 is going through rn which subsequent installments can delve into further

(I honestly already thought of how the movie plot could build up upon the series, various spin-offs as well as even how eventually it could tie into the meta plot of the Absolutians)

Thanks for the question!

[0nemorestranger]

chrissy wanting the two guys she loves most to be friends so she uses her powers of deception tricks them into going to a concert together. at first jason doesn't say anything when they pull into the trailer park -- chris has always been better with making friends outside of their social circle -- but when he sees eddie munson bounding down the steps and heading for his car, he nearly blows a gasket.

eddie opens the passenger door and looks at chrissy, ignoring jason entirely. "you're out of your mind if you think i'm spending an evening with him." (finally, something they can agree on.)

but chrissy stands her ground, as she always does. "it's just a concert. you guys won't even need to talk to each other."

he gives jason the once-over and grimaces. "at least come in and make yourself presentable. you stick out like a sore thumb."

"told you so," chrissy mumbles as they all walk up the trailer steps together. and what the hell? he thought an all-black ensemble would've been fine. they're an up-and-coming metal band, sure, but they're a christian metal band. it's not like he was gonna roll up to the place covered in spikes and pentagrams -- even if they didn't read the word.

eddie throws him a pair of ripped up acid-wash jeans. "put those on, for starters." he disappears deeper into the closet so jason can change in peace, thank god, and a few seconds later shirts come flying out one by one. he picks up the hellfire shirt and slips it on for shits and giggles. when he asks how he looks, eddie turns around and doesn't give an immediate response.

at least, not a verbal one.

but his look says a lot. maybe even too much.

"ridiculous." he shoves a shirt into jason's chest: a black tee featuring what looks like album art for a band called Stryper. he's heard of these guys -- christians too, chris says -- but he hasn't gone out of his way to listen to them yet. eddie turns around so he can change.

"didn't know you were into this side of the scene," he says.

"i may not dig on organized religion, but good music is good music." he turns around and looks jason up and down, quicker this time. "it'll do. let's go."

it's a quick drive to the venue. well, venue might be generous; it's only a big bigger than a walk-in closet. he could spit from where he's standing and hit the stage, then turn his head at a right angle and probably drool onto the merch table. "where's the pit gonna be?"

eddie smiles at him with half-lidded eyes: amused and a little smug. "hang up the gloves for two hours, balboa." then he steers them to the bar and orders: two beers, two shots of tequila, and a rum and coke for the lady -- those are his exact words and it makes jason wish there was room for a pit after all. but he flashes his fake ID along with theirs and plays nice. then they make their way toward the stage. people are still filing in, so they have no problem getting to the front.

"how long have you guys been coming here?" he has to scream to be heard over the pre-concert mixtape, something that is decidedly unchristian and headache inducing besides.

"since spring break. she remembered my band from middle school." (jason remembers, too. he hated them.) "i told her to come and see us when she got the chance. didn't think she actually would."

"and one thing led to another?"

"pretty much."

"yeah. and you got her hooked on devil music, so thanks for that."

"you're here too, aren't you?"

the rest of the evening happens in a series of snapshots: losing chrissy, then finding her swirling her straw around in her plastic cup and chatting up the bartender; eddie recommending him some non-metal music and jason noncommittally saying he'll check it out; jumping around when the band actually takes the stage; throwing an arm around eddie not because he needs help standing -- though he lost count after four beers -- but because, damn, this guy's not all bad. it makes jason want to hate him even more, but what he ends up feeling is actually something just short of fondness.

chrissy hates the idea of being drunk, so her single drink before the show was all she had. someone needs to be the DD, anyway.

"y' wan' stay the night?" it's slurred and giggly, but one look at eddie's glassy eyes and jason can tell that it's sincere, too. he makes for the bedroom, thinking himself rude only after he flops down on the mattress and is too beat to pick himself back up.

another body flops down beside him. "chrissy took th' couch. i c'n sleep on the floor, if y'want."

his head is buried in the pillow, but he tries to shake it anyway. "'s cool."

"really? i'da thought you wouldn' wan' me around, after..."

"yeah, well." he turns on his other side to get a better look at the guy. "it's flattering, y'know? always nice to get a compliment. and..." he waves his hand in the air. "sometimes people c'n surprise you."

"you're tellin' me." he chuckles and punches jason in the arm. "g'night, my man." then he turns over, and his breathing evens out almost immediately.

///

they wake up the next morning at almost the same time, facing each other. not a word is said, but the whole situation is so unbearably, inexplicably funny that they both bust up immediately, snorting and wiping their eyes and leaning into each other for support.

the racous laughter is what wakes chrissy up. if she were in a bitchy mood, she'd snap at them to shut the hell up and go to sleep. instead, she laughs, too. this whole thing went exactly as planned.

i wanted this to be a "real fic" for over a week now, but i couldn't get the words to come out right. so for the time being i'm posting this unpolished, unedited, bare-bones piece, and maybe if enough people like it i'll try to actually do something with it.

[puppyparkmoving]

🌟Dylan -hickhusband

Ouuuugghhhh

Their relationship is really really complicated. Their first interaction was when she was working on her hypnospace page he messaged her literally becuz he was desparate and despicable. They both have autism so hes not really good at flirting smoothly and shes not very good at picking up on it but she thought he was cute and funny and talked to him every night becuz she had no friends irl. He didnt belittle her for having a rocky and kind of fruitless career for so long and for being disabled. She just felt good talking with him and eventually they developed a deeper and lbr nsfw relationship. They were secretly dating for a bit becuz she didnt like posting overly personal things for everyone to see. And he respected that but would kind of hint that he was taken often as if anyone might prod him abt it but they didnt. She was always incredibly supportive of his interests and ambitions because she wished she had someone like that in her failed two years of college.

When she volunteers to be an enforcer to make things easier for him so he can focus on his passion project they can only talk through the company emails which she expresses worry people in the company might find out. They however dont and they continue their relationship getting to the point of saying i love you and what not. His stress obviously builds as the new year approaches between his job, the ridicule he gets, and the mass hysteria abt y2k. His hobbies are becoming harder and hes lashing out on people. It makes things harder between the two and he gets worried about that as she kind of distances herself and doesnt answer as often. It doesnt help he doesnt get along with sam and she becomes close with sam.

With a severe wedge between them and the headband malfunctioning theres a while where they dont talk. When she logs back on he seems to have removed stuff about him being taken and doesnt answer her emails. Sam is receptive and an amazing friend and coworker to her. Helps her a lot. When Dylan finally reaches back out hes a bit defensive and sensitive still and she doesnt really tolerate it or answer him. Which leads to him being a bit desperate and despicable again. And Margaret has no problem slamming the hammer on his flist. Which of coirse makes him ban you from the server but his email isnt as severe to her.

When she comes back and everythings a fucking mess its a welcome distraction from how bad her real life has gotten since she and Dylan assumedly split. She missed the people and the work. Even if it was so much to handle. The two reconciled shortly before midnight while the update was uploading. Things were seemingly perfect until the inevitable. 20 years later she never dated afterwards. Hes the only man she can see herself with but she fell off the face of the earth feeling like y2k was her fault. Id love to say they have a happy ending but they dont. Maybe ill make an au. Point is theyre soul mates in a world not made for autistic people and are constantly kept apart.

[cloudsoffire]

this post contains breaches of various sites’ tos (not this one and not badly). i also don't know what it's about it kinda went off the rails.

i made a deviantart when i was a preteen. i just remember i was 11 at some point while i was active. it was mostly pokémon, but undertale trickled in after a while. i exchanged messages with other people, participates in groups, even made my own that crashed before it got off the ground. eventually all the people i talked to moved on, so i did too (i have another one now but i barely post)

i made a twitter towards the end of when i was 12 because i thought "satan is the reason we do homework" (paraphrased) was funny. i hardly used it because there was nothing on it.

i made a tumblr after a friend at the time told me to make one so i could post my spritework. once i was here i made friends, talked to people, etc. undertale was the first and really only fandom that i got involved with.

come december 17th, i didn't leave like many others, though i did dust off my old twitter to keep up to date since i participated in the first "log-off protest". i kept using both tumblr and twitter after that, but after an amount of time that wasn't short but i don't remember the actual time, i began becoming spotty on this site. i'd somehow breached a trans twitter space and had begun making friends there. i made a lot of friends, but it also severely damaged my mental health. after a while, posting there was painful in and of itself. i had at least 30 followers, but none of them would interact with me. i even quit all social media for a year or so.

when i came back to twitter, i got into an argument with someone and just quit the platform entirely.

i'd been posting to tumblr off and on (bar the break from social media) in an attempt to get back into it, but while i usually have issues focusing on one thing at a time irl, running multiple socials is exhausting. i've never even touched tiktok or instagram, and even youtube (which is like pseudo social media? pseudocial media? at least before community posts anyway) doesn't get a consistent upload schedule.

when i finally came back fully a few months ago, it seemed like people were recovering from a natural disaster. the side is thriving don't get me wrong, but it's like half the users disappeared, and along with them the friends i had made.

i have a very difficult time integrating with communities so that might have a role to play, but while i originally joined and was able to hop right in, i feel almost like i was locked out by logging in less and less. maybe that's just part of growing up, but i don't feel like my seat, as far back in the corner as it was, is here anymore.

people would come to me blog and call me "sass cheld" and offer to adopt me and i'd ask for id, but now i'm an adult, and even though that feels wrong i have to deal with it. i'm not in a position to get a job because i just can't bring myself to do it and why tf am i crying this isn't sad this is normal.

i can't even bring myself to contribute to silly things like goncharov because even though i have ideas whenever i bring up the post thing i just think "nobody will care" and i know that's unhealthy but that's just the way my mind works. even venting feels wrong, even though i know nobody will see it so it doesn't matter.

the worst part is i know i don't deserve to pity myself because of how much harm i've done to those around me. because of the trauma that came as a result of me. because i don't feel empathy, at least to the degree of everyone else. because all my problems are of my own making. because my life is good, and i'm what's bad about it. because it anyone else took my place they'd be doing just fine. because my issues aren't even as bad as my siblings'. because i live in the suburbs. because my parents can afford ac. because i live in california, what's probably the most progressive state in the us.

how did this post turn into this

i am not proofreading this.