#i too am incredibly squishy and like to swim

[rendoesthedoodle]

actual best thing i've created in a while. everyone meet Fish right now

id start. its a drawing of an anthro spotted seal. he's bluish gray and white with large hot pink eyes and a heart theme. the text next to him reads, "Fish. He/him. Soft and squishy. Loves goldfish crackers and gummy sharks." id end.

[lubdubsworld]

Insatiable ( Jungkook x Oc ) Chapter 4

Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x OC

Rating 18+

Genre : Vampire Au!!!! , DILF! Jungkook ! Bodyguard AU! Babysitter OC!   Age difference!!! 

Chapter 1   Chapter 2  Chapter 3

Chapter 4

“Dearest, I am  appalled. “ My father said apologetically. “ Jungkook told me what happened at the dinner and I’m beginning to rethink this whole idea. These pups need to be on a leash , if they cannot control themselves to this extent.” 

I was curled up on the couch next to my dad, his fingers gently stroking my hair while he stared at the screen in front of us. It carried all the accounts of the mansion for the week and the numbers made my head swim . So I ignored it, eating the freshly baked macarons that  cook had sent up from the kitchen. 

My father occasionally consulted from a bunch of files spread out on the table in front of him and I shuddered again when I thought about Mingyu. 

“He was an awful choice father. I should have just told you to set things up with Yugyeom.” I grimaced. 

My father nodded at once.

“Of course dearest, I’ll talk to him myself and see if he’s free this weekend. Will that work for you?”

“thank you father.” I said brightly, curling up next to him.

For a few minutes, we both stayed quiet, him humming as he leafed through the files, me munching on a few ripe tangerine pieces. 

“What do you think of Jungkook?” My father said suddenly, making me cough. 

I swallowed, throat dry.

My father felt me stiffen against him and he chuckled. 

“Don’t panic, love. I am way too old not to recognize heartache when I see it. Especially in my own daughter. Your display at the breakfast table yesterday was quite unlike you and I realized, it’s not just a silly infatuation anymore, is it  ? ” He rubbed the back of his fingers on my cheek, soothing and gentle. 

I didn’t reply. 

“I think he’s a good...man.” I finished.

“Ahhh...” My father chuckled. “  Man.  Here I am , trying to foist you off on boys who’ve barely popped their fangs for the first time .... when it is obvious that what you need is someone reliable and in control. Therein lies the appeal, does it not, dearest? ” 

I flushed red, scrambling to sit up , and clutching the fabric of my skirt in a death grip. 

“It’s... it’s stupid. I’ll get over it.” I choked out. 

My father hummed. 

“Have you told him how you feel?” He asked gently and I stared at him.

“You’re not mad.?” I whispered.

My father chuckled.

“Why would I be mad?  I’ve known him for five whole centuries. He’s a fine, upstanding man. Jungkook is fair and strong. He is more than capable of taking care of you and the best part, you would be able to live here forever. I would be lucky to have him as my son in law.” He said firmly. 

I felt my body go lax in disbelief. 

“Somi .. Somi said...That you wouldn’t approve. Because he isn’t from a strong clan. ”

“Somi worries too much about what the others in our clan may say.  Especially your uncle. He’s coming back soon remember? “ My father grimaced. 

I felt a shiver run through me. 

“Uncle Jaebum? He’s coming back?” I whispered, terrified. 

My father hummed, kissing the side of my head.

“Yes he is, love. But don’t worry. I’ll handle him. Your uncle still believes that lineage plays some role in how a vampire turns out but couldn’t be more wrong. i mean , young Mr. Mingyu has single handedly proven  that theory wrong , hasn’t he?” My father shook his head, laughing, “  So tell me, has Jungkook agreed to court you?” 

I groaned. 

“He has categorically stated that he doesn’t want to court me.” I said softly.

My father laughed at that.

“That must’ve been a novel experience for you.” 

I pouted. 

“Father!” I whined. 

“Alright, alright ...dearest. I won’t tease. Did he say why? ” He pressed a kiss to the top of my head. 

“Because I’m too young? Possibly.... He said something about carrying too much baggage and not wanting to ruin my life.” 

My father made a noise of impatience.

“The boy is an overthinker. He’s always been that way. He doesn’t look that way but he cares deeply about hurting others. It’s possible he’s only trying to protect you. Albeit in a very misguided way. “

“ Perhaps. But, whatever the reason, he’s not willing to court me. So, no. i don’t think he wants to be your son in law. I wish I could change his mind. ” I muttered, snuggling closer into him. 

“Ah, you know I can’t change his mind for you, don’t you flower? That’s your job...”

I sighed. 

“I know...” 

“If Jungkook does choose to court you. You will have my blessing. I will give you a wedding that will make the world watch in awe. “ He said firmly. 

i laughed. 

“Really? You made Somi marry Jimin in the barn on the estate.” I grinned. 

“Well, Don’t tell your brothers and sisters but you are my favorite after all. “ He whispered conspiratorially and I grinned. 

It was funny because I knew he wasn’t even lying. 

After my mother had left the clan, my father had taken on the role with enthusiasm. Unlike the head of clans all over the world, my father was approachable , friendly and deeply involved in his children’s lives. And he had always adored me. 

“And even if Jungkook doesn’t realize how amazing you are, remember that there are plenty of good men out there. I want you to be happy, dearest. I will not settle for anything less than your complete happiness. “ My father said fiercely and I hugged him closer. 

I loved this man too damn much. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“ You’re so good at what you do, Sera .” Lee Minhyuk gave me a seductive smile as he watched me wrestle his one year old daughter into her booties with one hand while i kept the other wrapped around her to stop her from toppling backwards on the small seat. 

 How about you stop flirting and help me dress your daughter , you asshole, I thought angrily, grunting from the effort of crouching for long periods of time. 

When the fluffy blue fur boots were finally on, I gave little Cherin’s squishy thighs a soft squeeze, pressing a kiss to her perfect cheeks. 

“Good bye cherry berry...” I sang softly, waving gently as she hugged her father’s legs before being scooped up into his arms. 

“So, are you free this friday? We could get something to eat?” Minhyuk gave me a wink. 

His wife was out of town. 

I offered a polite smile in return. 

“I’m going to have to pass on that. I don’t date parents, Minhyuk ssi.” I bowed my head lightly. 

Minhyuk looked annoyed but his gaze flitted to the 6′3″ man behind me, and he didn’t push the subject, merely bowing before leaving. 

Behind me Jungkook cleared his throat. 

I turned and he gave me a slow, lazy smirk. 

“You don’t date parents? Does that mean we’re not on for tonight anymore?” His eyes danced with mirth, mischief glinting in the black orbs. 

I flushed red. 

“Stop it, “ i hissed peering over his shoulder to make sure none of the other workers in the daycare had heard him. 

Jungkook smiled a little at the panic in my face. 

“But then , it isn’t really a date is it? You only want my body.” He sighed deeply in faux disappointment. 

I gave him an impish smile.

“It is the best thing you have on offer....” I shrugged. 

He laughed.

“Fair enough. Did you tell your dad about Mingyu? ” He asked as the workers began to leave one by one. Joowon had left with some of the other kids earlier, Jimin and Somi having promised to take the kids in the clan out for icecream. 

I picked up the stray blocks, dropping them into the huge laundry basket repurposed as a toy bag. i got on my hands and knees to peer under the huge wooden dresser in the corner, looking for stray blocks or toys and picking a few. 

 My back screamed in protest and i wondered if I was going to spend the rest of eternity with an achy back. I was just too young to be feeling this old. 

Was Park Jimin onto something with the whole yoga and stretching and exercise and healthy eating ? Should I stop binge eating french fries and possibly start eating salads? 

I sighed, straightening up and twisting my torso a bit only to find Jungkook with his gaze leveled very obviously  on my ass. 

So much so he didn’t even notice I was looking at him. 

I cleared my throat and his gaze left my butt, meeting mine with an absolutely unrepentant look on his face. 

“What?” He shrugged. “ I’m just seeing what I’m going to be working with tonight .” 

I felt my face flame, hating the way an absolutely ridiculous smile was threatening to make its way onto my face. I turned away quickly, crawling on all fours to the next dresser and peering under it too. 

once all the toys were put away and I’d double checked the to do list on the board , We finally closed the day care down for the night. It was just  little past six and I stood by the door, watching while he carefully checked all the side gates and the backyard. 

Slipping the key into my backpack , I began the walk back to the mansion and he fell into step next to me. 

“You didn’t answer my question....” He said softly and I blinked.

“Oh?” I couldn’t remember. 

“ Did you tell your father what happened with Mingyu?”

“Did you?” I retorted. and he shrugged. 

“I had to give a complete play by play report. Your father was incredibly upset.” 

I chuckled. 

“He’s very protective of me..” I shrugged.

Jungkook went tellingly quiet.

I felt foreboding rise inside me. Jungkook inhaled sharply, obviously staring to say something but i cut him off quickly. 

“He likes you!!” I blurted out quickly. “ I mean..he approves of you... Told me he wouldn’t mind you being his son in law.” 

My lack of filter was going to get me  killed  one of these days. 

Jungkook however seemed more amused than annoyed. 

“Well, considering the kind of candidates in the race, I can see why he would prefer me. “ He laughed. 

I frowned. There was something smug in his tone that irked me. He shouldn’t get to be smug about something like that when he didn’t even want to be with me in the first place. 

“They’re not all clowns. Yugyeom is a great guy.” I said sharply.

Jungkook’s eyebrow shot up.

“Is it so?”

I nodded, honest. 

“He’s older... almost two centuries old now and he’s a good friend.” 

“Two centuries? How on earth did he become your friend?” 

“He was one of my tutors during college. So I kind of had a crush on him.... It was all exciting .... You know, teacher and student .....forbidden love and all that “ I smiled. 

Jungkook gave me a cheeky smile. 

“Ahh...ever sucked his dick off under the desk? Or dreamed of it at least? ” He asked casually and I choked.

“ What? “ 

“Why do you look so shocked? isn’t that the most common of fantasies?“

I glared at him .

“No... I did not. That’s indecent.” 

He stopped walking. 

I walked a few steps ahead and paused, turning to stare at him. 

“What?” I demanded. 

“Sera , what the actual fuck do you think we’re going to be doing tonight?” He asked thoughtfully. 

I spluttered . 

“I... Its different. I was too young back then. Of course I know what you’re going to do tonight.” I said impatiently, turning around to keep going. 

But his hand shot out, gripping my arm and pulling me to him. I crashed into his chest, gripping the fabric to steady myself. 

“For someone who was so eager to have me show her the ‘ ropes’ , you’re quite intent on running from me, anytime i bring it up.” He whispered. 

i stared resolutely at his chest, refusing to meet his eyes. It wasn’t that I was shy per se. But just looking at his face made me lose my braincells. 

“I’m not running away. I just....” Don’t want to read too much into your flirting. Your teasing. Your interest in me. I have to keep my heart safe and I can’t do that with you offering me all of your attention....

“Don’t be nervous, alright? I’ll take good care of you.” He smiled softly. 

 God, I hated this man. 

I could feel heat pool in my belly, spreading all over my body and the urge to throw myself into his arms was so overwhelming.

“I know you will. “ I said softly, finally looking up at him, pressing my palm to his face. “ You’re a good man. A kind man. I knew the minute I saw you that you’d take good care of me. ” 

The words seemed to affect him and he bit his lips, grabbing my wrist and pulling my hand away from his face.  

“We should go.” He said shortly, pushing away from me and walking away briskly. 

“Who’s the one running now, Jeon Jungkook?!!!” I yelled after him and he flipped me off without turning around. 

Laughing, I ran to catch up with him again. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At 10.55 , I stood outside Jungkook’s room, nervous but eager.

 It wasn’t even the prospect of sex, I thought giddily. Just the idea of spending time with him, of listening to him talk, of having him at touching distance .....it was so intoxicating. 

I knocked lightly. 

Jungkook opened the door , a smile on his face and it was jarring, how young he looked like this. 

He was clearly fresh out of the shower. Hair wet and and still dripping a little, he was dressed in a grey hoodie, the sleeves rolled up to show his veiny forearms and grey sweatpants, hands tucked into his pockets as he shook his hair out of his eyes. 

It was a futile action and all it really did was send water droplets flying all around. 

I blinked against the unexpected spray, water clinging to my lashes and my cheeks. 

“Hey!! “ I protested. “ Are you a puppy? Use a towel like the rest of the world.” I mumbled. 

He laughed. 

“Come in, princess.” He grabbed my wrist, tugging gently and I stepped into his room, looking around eagerly. 

He closed the door behind us and I heard him pull the dead bolt into place before turning the key as well.

No interruptions then.....

Good. 

“Your room is actually bigger than mine.” I frowned, noting the big four poster bed, complete with a white curtained canopy. I let my gaze fall to the clean white sheets and my mind flashed back to the beautiful Helena, sprawled on the bed in nothing but her underwear. 

I swallowed the bitter jealousy that threatened. 

Hands wrapped around my waist from behind and he hugged me close, the warmth of his chest heavy and amazing on my body. I jumped a little when i felt the gentle press of his lips on the curve of my neck. 

“You sure about this? We don’t have to do anything at all tonight. We can kiss a little, watch a movie and sleep. But you’re a big girl so I’m gonna let you call the shots.” He lightly grabbed a huge chunk of my hair, lifting it out of the way before kissing the back of my neck. 

“Uh...” I stared straight ahead, already half aroused. “I want....to feel good.” 

He laughed against my skin, his hold around me tightening. 

“That can be arranged.” He said hotly, teeth nipping  at my skin before he gently turned me around in his arms. 

I looked up at him, drinking in his gorgeous face and he hummed, eyes narrowed as though in deep thought. 

“Bed?” He prompted and it was ridiculous, how one word could turn me on that bad. I nodded, making to move but he surprised me, crouching and grabbing the back of my thighs, pulling me up so easily, that I shrieked. I wrapped my thighs around his waist, more by instinct than intent and he laughed at the look on my face. 

“This always gets the ladies going.” He winked and I flushed. 

“Show off...” I muttered, lightly punching his shoulders and he shrugged.

“I don’t hit the gym five times a week to  not  show off darling.” he drawled, walking over to the bed and tossing me on the mattress. I bounced off the surface, squawking in surprise and I scrambled to sit up but he was already grabbing the hem of his hoodie and tossing it off. 

I’d never seen him shirtless but before I could fully appreciate the view, he was climbing on the bed. He grabbed my ankles, tugging me away from the head board and I landed on my back with an oof. 

“Ow. You’re being entirely too careless with me. “ I protested. 

He crawled forward on his knees, closer and closer till he was throwing one leg over my body, straddling my waist. 

“Thought you wanted to be put in your place.” He reminded me and I grinned up at him. 

“I think I’m right where I want to be. Under you.” I said honestly and he nodded.

“It’s where you belong.” He whispered, taking me entirely by surprise .

 My heart began pounding a familiar ache, a familiar pang. I knew it was an illusion. He didn’t for a second believe I belonged here but it was hard not to believe him, when he was hovering over me , looking like a fallen angel. 

God, don’t get emotionally invested. He doesn’t actually mean it, you fool. 

“Kiss me.” I held my arms up and he lowered himself carefully, keeping his weight off me as he kissed me, soft and gentle. I let my fingers tangle in the damp ebony locks, tugging gently as he angled himself better, tongue begging entrance. 

The heady mint taste of him, sent me into over drive and I wrapped both my legs around his waist, pulling him down. 

I took a second to just take him in.

The scent of his skin against mine, clean and woody, slightly sweaty, but mostly just musky. The smell of a man . The weight of him on my body, the hardness of his arousal evident even through the sweatpants. He pulled back to stare at me, his fingers brushing my cheeks. 

“You have perfect lips for kissing. Lush and plump. Like tiny pillows I can sink my teeth into.” He whispered, catching my lower lip between his teeth and tugging. 

“You have beautiful nipples. I want to lick them some day. .” I breathed, running my thumb on the curve of his cheek bones. 

Jungkook stared at me in complete shock for a second and then  laughed . 

“Thats.... a new one. Jesus. “ he shook his head, almost in disbelief. 

“Sorry.” I flushed and he waved off my apology. 

“You wanted to feel good right? Shall I start?” His eyes twinkled. 

I nodded, way too eagerly and he laughed harder. 

“Okay, let’s get you out of these clothes, princess. “  He grabbed my arm, pulling me up to a sitting position before gently tugging the t shirt off my chest. I wasn’t wearing anything underneath and his breath caught s he stared at my breasts.

He stared at them for a second, swallowing before, glancing at me .

“Beautiful.” He said, voice deep and husky. 

“Thank you .” I said primly. 

He laughed again and shook his head.

“I can’t remember ever laughing so much before sex. This is so weird.” 

“Weird bad?” i asked, nervous.

He shook his head.

“Weird good.” He leaned in, kissing my cheek just as he hooked his thumbs into my shorts, pulling them down easily and leaving me completely naked. “ Weird adorable.” 

I crossed my legs, drawing my knees up at once, feeling devastatingly shy. 

His eyes softened. 

“You want me to turn off the lights? “ He asked gently. 

“Yes please.” I said desperately and he nodded, quickly climbing off the bed and fumbling with the light switches. He left a single light on , near the closet. It left the rest of the room dimly lit. 

“Am I the first one to see you like this?” He asked, rubbing his hands together before climbing onto the bed again. 

“Um... after the age of ten, yes.” I laughed nervously. 

He hummed. 

“You’re gorgeous. Toss me that pillow.” He pointed to the one next to my head and i handed it to him.

“Lie down for me darling.” He smiled. 

I hesitated, closing my eyes tight just because it was overwhelming, seeing him in front of me , shirtless and being naked in front of him. 

I laid back slowly, knees still pulled up and feet on the bed, thighs pressed together. 

My heart was pounding , less from nerves and more from sheer anticipation. I’d waited long enough for this to truly feel nervous or want to back out. 

And the fact that it was with Jungkook... I’d pretty much hit the jackpot in first time experiences. 

Hands on my knees made my eyes fly open and I found myself staring up into his face.

“You okay?” He asked gently. 

i nodded.

“Let me between your legs?” He asked sweetly. 

I felt the blood rush to my face, my legs shaking as I spread my knees and thighs, enough to give him space between them. His fingers closed around my ankle lightly, gentle as he ran his hands up and down my legs. 

“Relax alright. You wanted to feel good and I’m going to make you feel good. The only thing you need to do is... well.. feel.” He smiled, impish bunny teeth bright even in the darkened room. 

I nodded, closing my eyes. 

“Don’t wanna watch?” He teased and I shook my head. My pulse kicked up at the very thought of it. 

Jungkook wasn’t anything like I’d imagined, I thought miserably. He had been attractive as the stoic, serious man who wanted to do the right thing but like this : naught and flirty and charming , he was absolutely devastating and i wasn’t sure i could come out of this unscathed. 

I couldn’t fight the feeling that I was making a huge mistake . that this whole thing was going to end with my heart ripped to shreds....

His lips against my forehead pulled me out of my thoughts and I swallowed. 

“I’m going to touch you.” He said softly and I shuddered when his hands closed over my breasts, gentle but firm, kneading the flesh very slowly, thumbs rubbing back and forth on the nipples till they tightened. 

I bit my lips to stop myself from crying out, the sensation overwhelming and foreign because it was someone else’s fingers and not my own. 

“Hey... “ one soft finger pressed against my lips, parting them gently and i sobbed out loud. “ None of that.... You should be as loud as you want to...how else will I know if I’m getting the job done?” 

“You’re getting it done..” I choked out, shaking all over and his kissed my lips again, quick and hard. 

“So beautiful.” He murmured, lips pressing kisses down my chest and across my breasts.

“Since you wanted to lick my nipple, let me uh...return the favor? In advance ?” He laughed against my skin and I inhaled sharply when he nipped at the fleshy mound. 

His lips closed around my nipples, the suction gentle but his tongue wet and insistent .

I went completely still, my hands flying to his hair and gripping so hard he grunted . My hips lifted off the bed at the sensation, every nerve ending on fire as he kept suckling and licking and god, his teeth...he was using his teeth to bite down on the nub... making me thrash my hips , my body completely overwhelmed . 

He kept his lips over the peak, licking the tip over and over till it was tender and wet and hard . He used his hands to knead the other side, thumb rubbing insistently on the neglected nub and I felt my toes curling into th mattress, my arms drooping to loop around his neck as he began to move his hips as well, grinding down on to my thigh. 

I was going to black out from having my nipple played with, I thought vacantly.

“Probably won’t feel this good for me but I’m glad you like it.” He laughed again and I loved the sound of it. Loved that he seemed to be enjoying this too. And I wanted him to enjoy it. Wanted to make him feel good too.

So I let my hand drop, down to his waist and then to the front of his pants.

He froze over me. 

“Sera-”

“I want to.” I said desperately, knowing what he was going to say.  . “ Please , let me touch you too-”

“Hey hey...shush..”He kissed me again quick and heady. “ Remember what I said? You call the shots.... “ He pressed another kiss to the corner of my lips. “ Want me to take off my sweats?” 

I nodded, “ Yeah.” 

He wiggled out of his pants quickly and i cursed myself for wanting the lights turned off. 

I hesitated, rubbing my palm on his pecs and tracing the muscles down to his tightly packed abs and then hesitating. 

“You can touch.” He said hotly and I swallowed, letting my fingers flutter down between his gloriously thick thighs. His skin was smooth and hard , like silk over steel and I let my fingers go lower, past the light dusting of hair to the thick, rigid length of him , my fingers closing over the hardness of his cock. 

Jungkook jerked forward, head burying into the pillow near my head and he swore.

“Fuck...” He sounded strangled and I laughed , gripping him harder but not a lot because I wasn’t sure how much was too much. .

“I have no idea what I’m doing...” I admitted weakly , loosening my grip a little to stroke up and down over the length of his cock. 

“Fuck.. just the fact that you’re doing it is going to make me cum.” He choked out and I laughed, ridiculously flattered.  

He grabbed my wrist, pulling my hand away.

“Lick it.” He said softly. 

I went still, my brain grinding to a halt.. Lick....??

 My eyes went wide.  

And so did his.

“Your palm.” He choked out. “ Lick your palm not my..... Your palm. It’s too dry.” 

Oh..  oh.

Lick my palm. Not his cock. Right. Got it. 

“Okay...”I drew my hand up and hesitated , unsure . Jungkook watched me like a hawk, eyes trained on my mouth and I bit my lips, cupping my palm and spitting into it, twice for good measure. feeling absolutely filthy.

“Fucking hell.” He breathed as I took my hand down to his cock again, wrapping my hand around it and it did feel better, easier to jerk him off with the lubrication. I moved my hands up and down , with  no rhythm and Jungkook gritted his teeth. 

“Okay... I’m gonna.. “He shivered a little when I tentatively pressed my thumb to the head, surprised to find him wet , on the top. I gathered the moisture around his slit, spreading it all over the head of his cock, using my fingers to rub circles over the crown , fingers tracing the thick vein on the underside. 

 inside me. This is going to be inside me. 

 I felt my thighs shake, my insides clenching, wetness dribbling out of me as I squirmed. 

“Please... Jungkook , I...”

“I got you...” He whispered, grabbing my hand and pulling it away from his cock. 

“hey-” I pouted but he shook his head. 

“If you don’t keep your hands off,  this'll all be over before it even begins,.” He said dryly. 

I closed my eyes again, my nerves picking up. 

“Listen...” He said suddenly and I blinked, staring at him. “ I’m going to get you wet...” Oh, god, “ With my tongue.” 

My entire body went taut. 

“I..”

“It’ll make it easier... trust me. And It’ll feel good. Wasn’t that the goal today? “ He tossed me a wink, squeezing my thighs a bit. He moved back and grabbed the pillow.

“Lift your hips up for me.” He said gently and I raised my butt, jerking when he folded the pillow in half and pushed it under my hips. And the he was crawling backwards, till his face hovered over my belly button.

“Throw your legs over my shoulders....” He said briskly, gripping my thighs , one in each and spreading my legs apart. I did as he asked, the back of my knee resting on the hard muscles of his broad shoulders and i raised my head a bit to peer down at him. 

The sight of jungkook’s gorgeous fucking face between my thighs got seared into my head and I fell back, already overwhelmed. 

He pressed a soft kiss to my thigh, a little nip my skin and then sucked the skin at the juncture of my hip and thigh. He was breathing in suddenly, a loud, shuddering inhale.  His breathing wavered and i felt the sharp pin prick of teeth. 

“Shit..”He pulled back and I jumped a little, watching him struggle. He glanced at me and I saw the flash of white between his lips. He’d dropped fang...and was clearly struggling to get them to retract. 

“You can do it..” I said feverishly. “ Jungkook , you can.... Drink.” 

He shook his head and glanced up at me and the look in his eyes made me startle .... because it looked like he was going to get up, move away , possibly call off this whole thing and no...no that was absolutely not going to happen. 

I was not letting him back out of this. 

He tried to move, but I grabbed his hair, yanking his mouth back to my thigh. 

“Fucking do it...” I snapped angrily and his eyes widened at my tone, “  do it and then fuck me , Jungkook or I swear to God I’ll  -” 

Sharp, sharp pain lanced through my spine as he bit down, fangs piercing my skin with ease and I felt the rush of liquid as it left my body, filling his mouth as he gulped. 

His venom worked its magic, the pain dulling to a throb, a pleasant heady intoxication....meant to make the bleeding out painless, meant to make death pleasant for the prey but for me it was just pleasure.

 Pleasure because he could have his fill and I would still be able to give him more. 

Pleasure because with me, he could indulge himself, as much as he wanted without worrying about the consequences. 

Jungkook groaned against my thighs, his shoulders shaking as he drank and I stroked his hair, petting the dark strands as I fought the slight lightheadedness, knowing that it would pass soon. 

Jungkook sucked deeper and I parted my legs moaning when my head began to spin, and then I felt his fingers touch my center, parting my folds , spreading the wetness all over his fingers before his thumb pressed down on my clit, rubbing insistently. I felt myself dripping all over the sheets, so wet and swollen and throbbing... 

“Oh, god yes... That feels so good, Jungkook .. I...” I gasped  as he slipped one long finger in, deep and without any resistance. The warm wetness in my thigh began spreading and I heard him groan as he sucked harder, drinking me down like i was the finest wine. 

“Another... give me more...please...” 

He moaned, still drinking, still shaking as he pressed another finger in next to the previous one, deeper still, searching and stroking, tracing every ridge inside me, curling just right, and rubbing down on that spot inside me...the one I could never quite reach by myself. 

Jungkook inhaled sharply, his fang sinking in just a little deeper as he latched on tighter and my legs shook as I cried out. 

He hummed, using one hand to rub soothing circles on my thigh, while he rubbed his thumb across my clit , hard and the gentle and then hard again until it throbbed and ached , over and over again and I was sure the little nub was bruised, that I wouldn’t be able to touch it for a while without wincing. 

I was gushing , my arousal so strong that the sheets were soaked, wet and so damp and the sensation of his fingers, thick and deep inside me while his fangs bit down harder, while he fed from me, was just too much...too much. 

I exploded around his fingers , my orgasm so strong that my hips lifted right off the bed, and he fucked me through it, fingers pounding in and out of my wet swollen walls as he pulled away, fangs retracting and I struggled to get on my elbows , to get a look at him.

He looked completely wrecked, fangs still half out, lips red and dripping blood , eyes flashing scarlet and blazing with lust so potent , I felt my insides churn.,,. i stared at him as I clenched over his fingers and he closed his eyes, shoulders shaking as he tried to get his bearings but I grabbed his shoulders, scrabbling to pull him up and closer. 

“Inside!” I choked out as he tried to get up, looking punch drunk and out of it.” Get inside me.”

“Sera... you’re...” He was slurring his words and I cried out in sheer frustration, scrabbling to my knees and pushing him down till he was flat on the bed. 

 “ Please i need it... need your cock inside me Jungkook, fuck...”  I begged, my thighs aching and walls clenching from how desperately I wanted to be filled. I stuck my hand between my legs , gathering as much of my wetness as I could before gripping his cock, coating him in my arousal.

 There was something so filthy about his hard, thick cock covered in my juices that made my mouth water. I wanted to swallow him down, to feel his cock hit the back of my throat but I wanted him inside me too. 

Maybe next time. 

“Please....Please can I sit on your cock?!! “ i choked out, fully gone. Jungkook groaned at my words. 

“Yes.. fuck... Do it.. Come on baby, take what you want from me.” he whispered.  and I scrambled up to straddle his thighs. Gripping the base of his cock, I pressed the tip against my entrance, closing my eyes to brace myself, digging my knees into the mattress for leverage before sinking straight down . 

“Oh, fuck....” I shuddered, my entire body thrumming as he pressed in, the hard length of him cleaving me so easily there was absolutely no pain to even register. It was just new. Different. 

And so so exhilarating. 

I sank all the way down till my ass hit the hardness of his thighs. 

And then I couldn’t move anymore. My body shook with tremors and My hands began trembling. 

“Jungkook...please... I..”

He responded by reaching out and gripping me thighs.

“Look at me baby...!” He said sharply and I stared down at his sweat slicked face. His eyes flashed red for a second and then he tugged me down, till i was lying flat on his chest. His arms came around my waist, anchoring me in place. 

“Gonna give it to you good. Just stay still yeah?” He breathed against my ear as i buried my face in the crook of his neck. And then he was rolling us both over, till I was flat on my back, his hand closing over my thigh, spreading my legs apart as he pistoned straight in. 

We were both too far gone for any semblance of a rhythm and I stopped trying to move, merely wrapping my arms around his neck, clinging on as he fucked into me, so hard that I could feel him in my gut. I felt my hips ache from the sheer force of his thrusts, my thighs cramping from how wide he had me spread and my clit throbbing from the way his cock dragged across it with every thrust. 

Pleasure swelled, again, this time stringer and I stopped fighting to make it happen, sinking back and letting it crash over me , like a wave breaking over the cliffs. 

Jungkook groaned as I exploded around him, my walls clenching around his cock and milking him and he shuddered in my arms, his cock twitching inside me as he came, filling me up . 

I gripped his shoulders, clinging to him as he trembled through the aftershocks. I felt my walls clenching, over and over again and Jungkook gave me a strangled moan.

“Too much...baby.. please stop... “ He begged and I froze, realizing that he was too sensitive and wanted to pull out. 

“sorry...sorry... “ I willed my walls to stop clenching and he made a noise of sheer exhaustion as he pulled out of me. 

I watched as he rolled off me, collapsing on his back, breathing hard. 

I stared up at the ceiling, feeling the wet mess of his cum, drip out of me and onto the sheets. I had the sudden made urge to stick my finger down there , scoop it up and taste it but I tamped it down. 

“Well.” I began.... 

He turned to look at me. 

I turned to him, still trying to catch my breath. 

“I’m not a virgin anymore.” I grinned wide. 

He groaned and ran a finger over his face. 

“Congratulations, Princess.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note :  Please i need holy water. 

feedback is love. If you don’t tell me you loved this fic i will not write smut anymore. 

taglist :  

@ladyartemesia        @veronawrites   @alpaca1612     @bonyg    @unseejuice21  @sppvjj     @ggukkieland     @tae-by-tae      @blr1004      @yoongichild    @stussyjeon  @jellybearo​   

[tanoraqui]

I blame @professorsparklepants for encouraging me and @words-writ-in-starlight for innocently happening to think/reblog about the same crossover on the same night, pushing me over the edge. Also my unwillingness to work on long-term projects.

If Wei Ying hadn’t been in Yiling, and the Witch’s mountain hadn’t been exactly on the way from there back to Yunmeng, Jiang Fengmian would almost certainly not have stopped there. There were any number of ways to deal with the fact that the boy was, apparently, more his mother’s son than his father’s - water-breathing potions, air-filled chambers...

But there he was and there she was, and there was no harm in asking what a price might be. He could always walk back down the mountain empty-handed (except for the half-Merrow half-Daoine Sidhe six-year-old clutching his left hand.)

He knocked politely. There was no answer. He’d raised his hand to knock again when the door opened abruptly in the hand of a young woman wearing little more than underclothes, a wave of dark hair held back with a piece of painter’s tape. Her eyes were dark green and they darkened near to black when they landed on Wei Ying. 

“Where did you get that child?” she demanded.

“I found him,” he said, caught off-guard. Then he remembered his manners, and bowed from the waist. “Baoshan Sanren.” (One didn’t call her “Witch to her face.) “I am Jiang Fengmian, ruler of the Lotus Kingdom of the Undersea. I’ve come to ask - ”

“I know who you are, Jiang Fengmian.” In her voice, the words were a threat. “I want to know what happened to the child’s parents.

Before they’d started up the Witch’s mountain, Jiang Fengmian had impressed upon Wei Ying the importance of being quiet and polite and not drawing attention. Though the boy was clearly boisterously friendly by nature, life on the streets had also taught him how to behave otherwise, and he was now so quiet that it was almost worrying. Or perhaps it was the effort of the climb, and the daunting aura of the Witch.

Nonetheless, Jiang Fengmian tugged him forward. “This is Wei Ying. His parents, Wei Changze and Cangse Sanren...” The Witch’s hard stare made it difficult to skirt as usual with formal words. “They stopped their dancing, several years ago. I only just found Wei Ying.”

For a split second, Baoshan Sanren leaned on the doorframe like she needed the support, eyes as dark as a seal’s. Jiang Fengmian very abruptly remembered that Cangse, among her multitude of astonishing stories and incredible adventures, had once or twice alluded to not just knowing but living with this terrifying woman. This almost-certainly-a-Firstborn, though no two accounts agreed on whom her descendants might be.

His grip on Wei Ying’s hand tightened involuntarily.

Then it was gone; her back was straight and her eyes seaglass-green, and she turned as she said, “Well, you might as well come in. I don’t like to make deals on the doorstep.”

From the outside, the Witch’s house looked like a one-room hovel. From the inside, it looked much the same: cramped, dimly lit, cluttered with everything from teacups to fishing wire. The wooden floor was soft in a way that suggested mold, though the strongest scent was saltwater. If there was furniture, it wasn’t visible, aside from a small stove and single cupboard above it.

Wei Ying failed to conceal a murmur of appreciation as he stepped side to side on the squishy floor, shyness giving way to fascination. His gaze, and Jiang Fengmian’s, followed Baoshan Sanren as she retrieved three cups from the cupboard, filled them with leaves from her pockets and hot water from a pot on the stove, and presented them, somehow, all with two hands.

“You’ll want tea.” It wasn’t a question.

“You’re most gracious,” Jiang Fengmian murmured as he accepted a cup (instead, of course, of “thank you.”) Wei Ying dropped his hand to copy him, looking as excited about the tea as the squishable floor.

“So,” said Baoshan Sanren, “what do you want, King of the Lotuses? You’re clearly not here to introduce me to Cangse’s son.”

“Wei Ying is Cangse’s son,” he said, carefully, “in that he didn’t inherit his father’s ability to transform as a Merrow. I’d like to take him home, raise him with my own children, and I was wondering if you might know a way for him to...”

“Breathe?” she said drily. “You know there are common potions for that.”

“The brightest Tylweth Tyg in Gusu hasn’t alchemized anything that will last longer than a day,” he admitted. “And palace rooms with air...” His wife would hate that, it would be an infinite series of fights, and moreover, the ghosts of two of his best friends pushed at him. “Could you do something safer? More guaranteed?”

She made a neutral humming noise, and knelt down to Wei Ying’s height. “And you? What do you think of this?”

“I’d like to go with Uncle Jiang, please!” Wei Ying bounced on his heels, teacup in both hands and a bright smile on his face. “I’ll have a brother and a sister, and learn to use a trident, and instead of dogs, there’s octopi!”

If the Witch could be said to smile fondly, then that was almost certainly what she did. Jiang Fengmian pretended not to notice. 

“I need to taste some of your blood,” she said.

Jiang Fengmian made a noise of protest, but Wei Ying simply tilted his head in confused acquiescence. “Okay?” 

He looked around for a moment, visibly unsure what to do with his (already empty) cup, before setting it on the floor with a smile. Then, barely flinching, he bit his thumb hard enough to break the skin and held it out to the Witch.

“Is this good?”

Jiang Fengmian let out a breath. Right. Cangse Sanren had been the best bloodworker he’d ever met. He’d once seen her slice open her own wrist and use what spilled out to bind a dragon - a small dragon, but a dragon nonetheless. What tragically little Wei Ying remembered of his parents could easily include blood.

Baoshan Sanren swiped the blood off his finger and licked her own finger. “Yeah, that’ll do.” 

“I can arrange for the boy to breathe and swim and all the rest,” she said, standing, ��as well as any Merrow, until he chooses not to. In return...two things.” She held up two fingers, and lowered one. “One, for as long as your bloodline rules the Lotus Kingdom, the Roane will be as welcome and safe in its borders as your own family.”

“The Roane?” Jiang Fengmian blinked. “Why - ”

“I’m giving you a price, not explaining it,” she snapped. “You’ll welcome the Roane, and listen to them if you’ve any sense, though that’s not part of my price.”

“I...understand the price being offered,” he said carefully. “The second element?”

She poked him in the chest with the force of a crashing wave. “I won’t ask the impossible - shut up about your family motto - but so long as that boy lives under your roof, you will do your utmost to make sure he knows that he’s loved.”

Jiang Fengmian relaxed. Ziyuan might be...neutral, was his hope, but he, at least, already loved Wei Ying simply for the sake of his parents - and he was a charming boy. A-Cheng and A-Li would take to him just fine, and no doubt the rest of the court would follow. And the Roane...he already tried to run a peaceful kingdom, for all the Undersea’s baseline of violence. It wouldn’t be any trouble to offer succor to a few seers.

“I accept your terms,” he said formally.

“Great.” Her smile was a shark’s, literally, and a shiver of power ran down his spine. It felt like the awareness of a weapon about to strike, when it was far too late to dodge.

She pulled a knife from her pocket and a somehow clean-looking from what might, beneath several layers, be a small table. “Now, I’ll need some blood.”

“What for?” asked Wei Ying, clearly feeling that some sort of tension had broken and he could speak again.

“You’re going to drink it,” said Baoshan Sanren.

Wei Ying hummed contemplatively, far too unconcerned for an average child.

So Jiang Fengmian let the Witch slice open his palm and collect a generous portion of blood - and then she took he teacup Wei Ying still held, long-since empty, and tossed it to the side, and beckoned him toward a door that hadn’t been beside the stove a moment ago.

“Come on, let’s get you changed - not you.” She pointed at Jiang Fengmian again. “You stay here. Sit wherever you want, this might take a while.”

“But - ”

“You wanted results, not a show,” she snapped. “They’re his secrets, not yours.”

Wei Ying looked back and forth between them, then took a few quick steps toward the Witch while smiling back at Jiang Fengmian. 

“I don’t mind!” he insisted. “I’ll just drink some blood, and then I’ll be able to swim?”

It came out as more of a question than he’d clearly intended, but Baoshan Sanren snorted. 

“You might still need to learn that. But you’ll have the chance.”

And she took him by the hand and led him through a door that couldn’t possibly lead to the Summerlands, there was no sign of it at all, no sense in the air...but where else could they be going? (Jiang Fengmian didn’t get a chance to see before the door closed behind them.)

What passed then was perhaps the most stressful twenty-three of Jiang Fengmian’s long life, and he had waited through the births of two children. He’d been looking for this child for two years, since hearing word of his friends’ deaths; he’d spent nearly as much time on land as in the water. He couldn’t lose him so soon - 

He heard the distant scream of a child in agonizing, unendurable pain, and his hand hovered over the knob to the door by the stove - still there, at least; not disappeared like some illusion. But he stopped himself. He had, after all, made a bargain with the Witch, and just because only stories said she’d once been of the Sea didn’t mean she couldn’t still wreak bloody vengeance on any of it who crossed her. 

He forced himself back, and not long after that, she emerged. Wei Ying was soaking wet and asleep in her arms - seemingly too big to carry for a relatively small woman, but she didn’t falter a moment as she passed him to Jiang Fengmian.

“He’s just exhausted,” she said, as Jiang Fengmian hurriedly adjusted his grip to check the boy’s pulse. “He needs rest and food, probably meat. He’s about three-fourths Merrow, now, so...you know your own diet.”

“I appreciate your help,”he said, instead of thank you, much less how?

“You’ll remember your promises.” It wasn’t a question and it wasn’t even quite a threat. Her eyes were as dark as the drowning deeps and that was the sort of place Jiang Fengmian had grown up, and now ruled, but it wasn’t at all comforting.

“I will.”

She nodded, and opened the door with a wave of her hand. “Now get the hell out of my house.”

[igirisuhito]

Title: Bara Boy Relationship(s): Komaeda Nagito/Hinata Hajime Rating: Explicit Summary: Hinata Hajime had always known he was trans. It wasn’t a big deal, it was just how things were. He passed well as a boy, and had gotten by just fine in highschool without people finding out his secret. That is, until Komaeda draws it out of him. Trigger Warnings: Referenced rape/non-con, Referenced underage sex, Referenced homophobia, Piss jokes, Choking, Dubious consent, Transphobia, Komaeda not knowing what “boundaries” are Disclaimer: This is... old. You may disagree with my interpretation of the characters and how I wrote them to be. That is not my problem. The trans experience is uniquely felt and interpreted by each individual, there is no “correct” way to write it.

[Ao3 Link]

────── 〔✿〕──────

“You’re not going to join in, Hinata-kun?”

A gentle voice awoke me from my daydream. A pale figure stood over me, milky chest exposed and white hair damp and flat compared to its usual fluffiness.

The boy looked like a drowned rat.

A swallowed the thought and gave a weak smile. “Sorry, I’m not a big fan of swimming.”

It was honestly my worst nightmare. Being dropped onto a tropical island with a whole class of other teenagers. Hot days of sweat and exhaustion followed by warm nights of sticky skin and restlessness.

And the only relief we were provided was the water and the cool hum of the dining room AC.

Everybody else seemed pleased about the whole thing. Most students went swimming every day. The days they didn’t go swimming they met up in the dining room or hung out on the other islands.

Komaeda knelt down into the sand in beside me, grains of sand sticking to his damp legs. There was plenty of room on the towel, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“Are you insecure about your body, Hinata?”

I stared at the boy with wide eyes, shocked by such a brazen question. “U-um...”

I barely got a stutter out before Komaeda started speaking again. “Ah! That’s incredibly presumptuous of me! How could an amazing Ultimate like you ever be insecure! Leave that kind of thing to untalented people like me, Hinata-kun.”

Komaeda grinned a sickly grin. I hated how he managed to read me so well and then dismiss himself of being rude or ridiculous. Was he mocking me?

I sighed and shook my head. “I don’t like swimming, that’s all.”

“That’s understandable!” The Ultimate Luck chirped. “The sea is a very dangerous place, all sorts of unlucky things could happen to you! You may get swept out to sea, or stung by a jellyfish, or impaled on rocks, or-“

“I get the point.”

Komaeda began to wiggle his legs, worming his feet into the sand. “So you’re scared of the sea?”

“No...I just don’t like swimming.”

“So you don’t know how to swim?”

“Of course I know how to swim!”

“Are you worried what others will think of you then?”

“I guess...”

“So you’re insecure!”

“I’m not insecure!”

This was getting frustrating fast. Then again, every conversation with Komaeda was frustrating. The way he pried and picked me apart to find the truth made not only me, but everybody else really angry. It was hard to discern whether it was simple curiosity or an active effort to get people to dislike him.

“I guess you’re not insecure then.” Komaeda's attention was focused on shuffling his feet as far as he could into the sand.

Oh thank god he had given up.

“So is it the way you act that worries you or is it the way you look?”

Oh god fucking dammit.

“Do we have to have this conversation?” I muttered, pulling my knees up to my chest with a sigh.

“Not at all! I’m happy to talk about whatever interests you, Hinata-kun!” The other boy smiled wide as he turned his head back to me. His grey eyes really sparkled in the sunlight.

“We could talk about you?” I tried to sound as non-offending as possible.

Komaeda cackled at my suggestion. “You don’t want to know about trash like me!”

And so the conversation ended. There we were, skin burning beneath the hot sun in silence. I could feel the drops of sweat rolling down my back uncomfortably.

“You know, my parents probably drowned to death after their plane crashed.” Komaeda broke the silence unexpectedly.

His face was expressionless despite his heavy words. We’d talked about his parents deaths before but it seemed as though he had moved past it. It was an obvious ploy to get me to change the subject back to myself.

“Okay, fine.” I huffed as I leaned my hands into the towel. “I am uncomfortable with exposing my body to the others.”

The Ultimate Luck’s face lit up in a smirk, clearly proud of the fact he had cracked me wide open. His expression quickly morphed into one of ponder.

“Why would you be uncomfortable? There are plenty more less attractive bodies on display, such as mine!”

I sighed and stretched my legs back out. “It’s not quite like that.”

“How else could it be? Are you ashamed of your buff chest? You know Nidai has much more impressive muscles.” Komaeda kept his pleasant smile even with the not-so-subtle dig.

“Buff chest?”

Komaeda nodded and glanced down. “You have a really well built chest, like straight out of a bara manga.”

He lifted a sandy hand and pressed it to my chest before I could even say anything. My breath caught in my throat as he pressed skinny fingers into the soft tissue beneath my shirt and binder.

“Huh. I did not expect your pecs to be so...squishy.” Komaeda tilted his head to the side as he cupped a breast in his hand and squeezed.

My face flushed with an unbearable heat. Was he an idiot? Was he a pervert? Was he making fun of me?

I grabbed the boy’s wrist, avoiding his eyes. “I-I’m transgender...”

I felt Komaeda’s body stiffen and he pulled his wrist out of my grasp. “Oh.”

‘Oh.’  One word absolutely killed me on the spot. That’s the response everybody made upon learning. Followed with awkward apologies and people slowly distancing themselves.

I could feel my throat closing up, I was on the verge of tears. I didn’t want to cry in front of Komaeda. Nothing could be more embarrassing.

“I’m so stupid for not picking up on the signs earlier! Oh my! I’m so very sorry Hinata-kun!” Komaeda put his hands on the sides of my face and pulled my gaze back to him.

Huh?

My cheeks squished against Komaeda’s sandy palms. “I’ll try to make this less embarrassing for you! Let’s see...Oh I know! I’m gay!”

“You don’t have to lie about being queer to make me more comfortable.” I tried to speak as well as I could without having my words mushed too much.

“But I am! I have been since I was little! I remember getting beaten up one day for holding another boy’s hand! It must have been bad luck to counteract the good luck of getting to spend time with another man...” Komaeda was beginning to ramble about his luck again.

“Okay okay, I believe you. Please remove your hands from my face.”

The other let go with a weak smile. It was sweet of Komaeda to try and make me feel comfortable by coming out as well. Honestly it didn’t surprise me whatsoever that he was gay. He had taken Tsumuki’s crotch to the face more than once without reaction.

“So you can’t swim because you wear a binder?” Komaeda queried as he shuffled himself onto the towel.

“Yes...I mean I could swim without one but...” I trailed off, a bit uncomfortable with explaining to Komaeda why I didn’t want people seeing my boobs.

“But you could just wade, right?”

I found myself caught off-guard by his suggestion. “Uh, yeah I could.”

The Ultimate stood up off the towel and extended an arm down to me. “Then come on.”

I blinked a couple of times before accepting his hand, being pulled up by Komaeda. He gave me an enthusiastic smile before looking down at my feet.

“Are you able to roll up your jeans?”

“Yeah, gimme a sec."

I bent down and rolled the cuffs of my jeans up to my knees. It felt a lot cooler like this, I don’t know what possessed me to think wearing jeans to the beach was a good idea.

Komaeda grabbed my wrist once again and began leading me down to the water. I heard a couple of giggles from Saionji, but I couldn’t care less.

“Are you sure you’re not gonna melt, witch?!” Her shrill voice called out from the water.

Komaeda laughed an insincere laugh, probably just to amuse her. It was easier to just go along with whatever the girl said to avoid making her cry.

The cold water lapped at my toes, causing me to pull back against the boy’s grip a bit. It was colder than I expected.

“Is it too cold for you, Hinata-kun?” Komaeda stopped in his tracks and glanced back at me.

“No, just surprising.” I mumbled as I stepped a bit further into the water.

Nope nope nope nope it’s really fucking cold.

The boy smiled and waded in until the water was 3 quarters of the way up to his knees. I followed closely after him, skimming my fingers through the chilly water as I began to get used to it.

It was a lot better than the temperature out of it, at least.

“How is it?” Komaeda watched the surface of the water break beneath my fingers.

I exhaled softly. “Nice.”

“I’m glad you decided to join in, Hinata-kun. You always look so sad sitting on the shore by yourself.” Komaeda’s voice was soft as he spoke, but held a serious tone.

“I don’t mind, you know.” I met his gaze with a smile.

“But your hope should be able to shine along with everybody else’s!” The Ultimate grabbed my hand from the water and held it between his own. He pulled my hand up to chest height as his eyes sparkled.

A sigh escaped my lips. “I just don’t think-“

The sound of rushing water filled my ears as I was knocked down into the ocean floor. Sand ground against my face as I gasped in shock, my lungs filling with water. I tried to push myself up, only to be held down by the strong current.

Oh god oh god I was going to drown.

What felt like an eternity passed before a hand roughly grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me up out of the water.

I coughed and spluttered as I sat on my knees in the water, salt water stinging my eyes. The hand on my back rubbed soothingly.

“Ah, such rotten luck. I’m so sorry to get you caught up in this Hinata-kun.”

I recognised the voice as Komaeda's, but was too busy trying to breathe normally to pay him any mind.

“Hey, are you okay?”

I sat back up on my ankles and looked at the boy on his haunches beside me.

“I...I think so.”

Komaeda stared at his hand resting on my back for a second. “Sunflowers, huh?”

I realised he was referring to the pattern on my binder and my face began to feel like it was alight. “Shit. I can’t go back to the beach like this.”

Komaeda laughed softly and straightened himself up. “Wait here, I’ll get my jacket.”

He began to walk back to shore, leaving me cold and breathless in the water. Water covered my knees and went up to my waist, soaking the bottom of my tie.

How humiliating. Not only did I have to be saved by Komaeda from drowning, but now he had to save me from embarrassment too.

I should have stayed on the shore.

I mean, I’m not ashamed of being trans. I know it’s a part of me and I’ve accepted that...it’s just...other people.

Their reactions were always odd. I could meet the most accepting person on earth but it still was weird. Even the most accepting of dudes wouldn’t invite me to a sleepover. Even the most accepting of girls treated me like a gay best friend.

It was exhausting. It made me feel like I didn’t belong no matter how hard I tried.

And now Komaeda, the weirdest person I had ever met, knew my secret.

“Hinata-kun.”

A voice broke me from my thoughts a I looked up to the boy towering over me. He held his green jacket by the shoulders, open and waiting for me.

I stood up and slipped my arms in, muttering a “thanks” as I zipped it closed.

Komaeda simply smiled. “Should we pack up and head back to your cabin?”

With a slight nod, we began to walk together back to the shore. The water swished around our feet, damp sand sunk, dry sand squeaked.

Komaeda shook out the towel we’d been sitting on as I packed up our bags. I picked up my backpack in one hand and Komaeda’s duffel bag in the other.

“Do you want a hand carrying them?” The boy inquired as he folded the towel over his shoulder.

“No, I’m okay thanks.” My voice was a bit strained as I began to walk back to my cabin, Komaeda following close behind.

We walked in silence all the way up to the boardwalk before he spoke again.

“I’m sorry you got swept away because of my awful luck. I shouldn’t have ever thought you would be safe around somebody as dangerous as me.”

I sighed loudly. His self deprecation could be so incredibly exhausting at times like this. “It’s okay Komaeda.”

He didn’t seem convinced but kept quiet anyway. I zipped open the front pocket of my backpack and pulled out my key. Once we were standing outside my door, I pushed it into the lock and twisted until I heard a click then pushed the door open.

Komaeda followed me inside as I walked in and dumped the bags on the floor. I threw myself down onto my bed with a groan of exhaustion.

“Hinata-kun, do you mind if I use your shower? The salt water is awful for my hair.” The boy stroked a few fingers through damp white locks.

“I think it’s more fatal for your hair.” I giggled, not entirely processing what he said.

Wait.

“You want to shower? In my cabin?!”

“Ah! It’s okay if you would prefer me to not, I can understand why you wouldn’t want somebody disgusting like me in your bathroom. I’ll just use the shower in my room.” Komaeda made his usual fake smile before picking up his duffel bag from the floor.

I sat up quickly and put my hands out to stop him. “No no no! I mean...do you really want to shower in my cabin? With me here?”

Komaeda looked somewhat puzzled. “Why wouldn’t I? Oh! Do you have plans to murder me? Feel free to do as you like Hinata-kun! It would be an honour to be murdered by you!”

His sick sense of humour made me roll my eyes. “It’s nothing, go ahead.”

Komaeda opened his mouth to say something before quickly closing it again and taking his duffel bag with him into the bathroom. The door shut with a click behind him.

I laid myself back down again, wrapping my arms around myself. Komaeda’s jacket is so comfy, I couldn’t help but snuggle up a bit.

It smelled of salt and Komaeda.

Oh no, I’m being weird.

I unzipped the jacket and slipped my arms out of it. I was folding it up just as I heard the sound of running water. It was weird how casual and carefree the boy could be sometimes…

Not that it was a bad thing.

I set the jacket down on the bed before threading my fingers into my tie. I pulled off the damp fabric and began to undo the buttons of my shirt.

Hmm, maybe it was best if I had a shower before I changed.

I left my buttons a few undone from the collar down. I unrolled my jeans, sand falling out from the fabric and onto the wooden floor. What a pain.

Komaeda had left my towel on the floor next to my backpack. I was going to have to wash it later along with the rest of my sandy clothes. My eyes wandered up to the clock on the wall.

2:48

It wasn’t nearly as late as it felt.

The sound of running water stopped. He must be done with his shower. I wandered over to my cupboard and pulled out a pair of navy blue boxers with white flowers, a pair of grey shorts, and a plain white t-shirt.

“Excuse me Hinata-kun...”

I heard the bathroom door creak open slightly and Komaeda’s voice spoke meekly.

Oh god, had I left something weird in the bathroom?

“What’s up?”

“I didn’t bring any clean clothes.”

Seriously? The nerve of this guy…

“Would you mind going to my cabin and getting me some? I’m sure there’s a pile on the bed of clothes I forgot to put in my bag this morning.”

I groaned and walked up to the bathroom door, looking away and putting my arm through the gap. “Just wear some of mine. We’re about the same size anyway.”

“Hinata-kun! Your generosity never fails to astound me! You truly are the embodiment of hope itself!” Komaeda chirped as he took the clothes from my hand.

I pulled my arm back in and closed the door with a huff, did that boy do anything right?

I went back to my cupboard and pulled out more clothes for myself. A pair of white boxers with pink flowers, a pair of green shorts and a grey t-shirt with a yellow star printed with the word ‘hope’ in all lowercase comic sans.

Where on earth does Usami get this stuff...?

I added it to my pile begrudgingly as the bathroom door opened, a half dried Komaeda stepping out in the clothes I had given him.

It felt kinda weird to see him wearing my clothes.

“Thank you, Hinata-kun. I don’t know what I would have done without you.” Komaeda grinned as he patted his hair dry with a white towel.

“You didn’t really leave me with many options. The option to do nothing and let you run naked back to your own cabin would have given me a reputation.” I huffed as I looked to the floor.

“Hmm, that’s a fair point. Well, I am going back to my room now. Thanks for letting me use your shower.” Komaeda smiled and waved a hand in the air before swinging his bag over his shoulder.

I waved back and headed into the bathroom where he had been moments ago, pile of clothes in hand. I shut the door behind me and dropped them to the floor.

I don’t really know what I expected, but the bathroom was just as I had left it. Though, all the bottles in the shower had been stood back up and placed on the rack.

Petty…

I unbuttoned the rest of my shirt and slid it off my shoulders. I unclipped the side of my binder and basically peeled it off my skin. Gross.

I undid my jeans and pulled them down over my legs with difficulty. Being so damp had melded all of my clothes to my skin. I slid my boxers down and off my ankles before stepping into the shower and turning it on.

Warm water hit my chest, coaxing a moan from my lungs. Clean water was so nice after being in the ocean.

I rinsed my hair and picked up my bottle of shampoo, squeezing a bit into my hands and rubbing it into my hair. I placed the bottle back on the shelf, where Komaeda had left it.

He made me feel somewhat ashamed of my untidiness.

I lathered up my hair thoroughly before rinsing it again. I picked up the bottle of ‘tropical paradise shower gel’ and squeezed a bit onto my hand. I lathered it up a bit between my hands before beginning to rub the mango scented soap into my skin.

Thinking about it now, Komaeda had reacted very differently to the whole trans thing.

Sure, he was upset he hadn’t realised. But like, he didn’t seem uncomfortable by it. Most people make it seem like I had been tricking or lying to them.

And then he had gotten me his jacket to hide my binder?

And showered in my cabin without a hint of worry?

And was now walking around in my underwear and clothes...

That’s weird! This isn’t normally the way people treat me! People are usually grossed out and confused!

I rinsed the soap from my skin with a sigh. Komaeda Nagito is a weird, weird guy.

I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, reaching for a towel before wrapping it around myself.

What if he told the other Ultimates? Would he do that? Surely not...he was crazy but at least he had common decency, right?

I patted myself dry and shook  the water out of my hair. I should probably ask him not to tell people just in case…

I pulled on my boxers and shorts before slipping my arms into the stupid shirt and wiggling it over my head.

Hanging up my towel, I turned off the bathroom light and headed back into my room. I wandered over to the bed and flopped down.

Man, almost drowning really takes it out of you...

I closed my eyes for just a second.

A second…

Knock knock

Godammit.

I pulled my legs over the side of the bed with a groan and walked towards the door. I opened it to see a gleaming face staring back at me.

“Hinata-kun! You weren’t sleeping were you?” Komaeda chirped.

“No, it’s alright.” I smiled at him, feeling less tired than before.

“Ah, that’s good. I like your shirt, may I come in?”

I nodded and stepped aside, allowing the fluffy haired boy into my room. I shut the door behind as he sat himself on my bed.

“I got something for you...to apologise.” Komaeda smiled as I noticed he had a medium sized parcel in his hands.

I pressed my fingers to my forehead in frustration. “Komaeda, you don’t have to apologise for anything. Plus I saw you like ten minutes ago, what on earth could you have gotten?”

“Ten minutes?” The boy spoke in a confused voice. “I left here nearly 4 hours ago.”

I glanced around at the clock.

7:43

“Huh. Maybe I did have a nap.” I mumbled before sitting down beside Komaeda.

“So you haven’t eaten? Do you want me to ask Hanamura to make you something?” His voice was concerned yet caring.

I shook my head. “I ate way too much at lunch.”

Komaeda nodded in response. “Okay. Well, take this.”

He shoved the parcel into my hands and gripped his knees tightly. “I’m sorry if this comes off as me overstepping my boundaries. But I want to see you be the brightest hope you can be...”

That sentence made me even more worried than I was before. The parcel was more of a gift box, fit with even a little blue ribbon on the top. It was awfully cute.

I pulled the lid off the box and set it down beside me. Inside the box was black fabric, a garment?

With careful hands, I lifted it out of the box and let it unfold. It looked a bit like a tank top, the kind of one that sporty guys wore.

“It’s a swimming binder. It looks kind of like a compression tank top and is tight enough to give you a flat chest but loose enough to let you swim...at least that’s what Usami said.” Komaeda squeezed his thighs together as he spoke, averting his eyes away.

A binder...I can swim in?

“Komaeda...” I breathed.

“You’re offended and disgusted, I knew it. Scum like me should never have stepped out of place like this.”

“This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me...”

I threw my arms around the skinny boy, grinning impossibly wide as I squeezed him tightly as I could. “Thank you so much Komaeda.”

Komaeda wrapped his arms around my torso and hugged me back with a slight blush on his cheeks. “I-It’s the least someone like me could do...”

I let up my embrace to instead grip the boy’s shoulders. “Wanna go for a swim?”

“Isn’t it going to be dark soon?” Komaeda refuted.

“We could go to the pool?” I suggested, letting go of the boy and picking up the binder again.

“Huh. That sounds good.” He smiled softly, genuinely.

Komaeda looked so nice like this. The sunlight coming through my window hit his face in all the right spots. His white hair draped over his forehead. He really was an attractive guy.

But I didn’t have time to stare, I wanted to go swimming.

I stood up from the bed and stepped over to my cupboard. I pulled out a pair of plain black board shorts.

Komaeda stood up and wandered towards the door. “Shall I meet you there?”

“Yup!” I called out as I shut the cupboard, shorts in hand.

The boy left before I could even give him a glance. As soon as I heard the door shut behind him I buried my face in the black fabric. I shouldn’t be so surprised, I’ve given Komaeda a few gifts before that I’d collected. I just...never expected anything back. Especially not something like this. A gift so...considerate.

Komaeda is the exact opposite of considerate. Especially not of people’s feelings.

But he had been so incredibly considerate today. Was he finally starting to settle into the realisation that we weren’t going to die here?

God I never know what that guy is thinking.

I pulled off my shirt and wiggled the binder over my head. It was a bit hard to get on since it was a pullover rather than the hooked side ones I usually wear.

I pulled the bunched up fabric down over my belly. Man you really couldn’t tell. Usami had done a great job with this.

I pulled off my shorts and swapped them out for the board shorts.

I was finally going to be able to fit in.

I was finally going to be able to cool off with everyone else.

I was finally going to not be bullied by Saionji!

Actually, no that probably wasn’t going to stop.

I left my cabin, not bothering to lock the door behind me as I made my way to the pool. I was absolutely brimming with confidence and excitement.

Since the pool wasn’t far away, it barely took me more than a minute to get there. Komaeda was already waiting, sitting on the pool's edge and dangling his legs into the water.

“Hinata-kun! You look good.” The boy smiled after eyeing me up and down.

I scratched the back of my neck, a bit embarrassed to be receiving a genuine compliment from Komaeda, instead of the usual self-deprecating ones he made.

“Thanks, I guess?” I sat myself down beside him and let my legs hang down into the water. Unlike the sea, the pool was heated and pleasant.

The sun was going down over the island and the sky was awash with a beautiful shade of gold. The water reflected the sky, creating a pool of yellow.

“I think I should be admiring the sky right now, but all I can think about is the fact the pool looks like it’s full of piss.”

I snapped my head to my left, unable to believe what I just heard. Did Komaeda just...make a dirty joke?

“I was just thinking the same thing...” I smiled at the other teen as he swished his pale legs in the water.

“If that is the case...first one in the pool is the piss boy.” Komaeda grinned an evil smile as I felt him shove me hard in the back.

Oh it is on.

I pulled my legs out of the water and jumped up to my feet almost simultaneously with Komaeda. I charged at his waist, hoping to knock the boy down. The boy dodged my attack, leaving me running past him.

“Be careful Hinata, you wouldn’t want to get hurt!” Komaeda called as I turned back in his direction.

“If I do it’ll be your fault!” I called back as I dashed at him once again.

Komaeda went to dodge but I expected it this time. I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist and lifted him into the air, slinging the boy over my shoulder. He screamed and banged his fists against my back.

“Help!! Hinata-kun is trying to murder me!!” He squealed like a little kid.

“Shut up piss boy.” I chuckled to myself as I got ready to throw him into the deep end.

Just as I began to swing Komaeda forward, he stop banging his fists and instead wrapped his arms tightly around my waist.

Huh?

The velocity of me swinging his legs forward threw me off balance and I stumbled forward. I tried to recover but my foot slipped on the edge of the pool and I fell in headfirst with the skinny boy still clinging to my waist.

SPLASH

The arms around my waist released as I swam up to the surface to get a breath. As soon as I felt the cool air on my face I took a deep breath and broke out in laughter.

Komaeda surfaced up right beside me with a big grin on his face. “Piss boy.”

“What? I threw you in!”

“You’re the one who hit the water first through.”

“Only because I probably would have died if I didn’t!”

“Could you guys please shut the fuck up!”

Komaeda and I turned in the direction of the cabins, following the voice that had just interrupted us.

Owari stood on the boardwalk in a wide stance. “Some of us are trying to train!”

“I’m very sorry Owari-san!” Komaeda called out.

“Ya better be!” The Ultimate Gymnast yelled back as she began to walk back to her cabin.

Komaeda cupped a hand over his mouth in shock and turned back to me. “I can’t believe you got us in trouble Hinata-kun!”

“Me?! You’re the one who was screaming!” I hissed.

The boy removed his hand to reveal a childish grin. He was clearly just fucking with me at this point.

“I’ll kill you one of these days.” I muttered as I swam over to the edge of the pool.

“It would be an honour.” Komaeda jeered back as he followed me close behind.

I rested my shoulders against the edge of the pool. The other boy simply settled to tread water in front of me.

“Tell me Hinata, what are you into?”

“What am I into? Well I like kusamochi... and manga?”

“Not like that. What are you in to? Who are you in to?”

Huh? What a weird question for him to pop right now.

“Oh, right... I’m not really sure. I don’t have any experience to go on. ”

“You don’t have any experience? Have you never dated anyone?”

“Oh you’re talking about dating...I’ve dated a girl before.”

“Really? I could totally see you going for a busty girl like Owari.”

“Owari’s kind of odd...sure she has amazing tits but her world is so different from mine.”

“I see. So you are into women?”

“Sure, I guess so.”

“Are you into men as well?”

I pressed my fist to my chin in thought, was I into men? I never really gave my sexuality much thought.

“I’m not really into like...manly men...no wait scratch that...I think I might be into dudes...” I mumbled.

“So you’re bi then?” Komaeda questioned.

‘I honestly think I’m just horny.’ Is the answer I wanted to give, but I don’t know if I’m close enough with Komaeda to talk about sexual habits.

So I settled for a simple “Yeah.”

“Good.” The other smiled.

Good?

I finally noticed that the sun had set long ago and it was really starting to get dark.

“Should we head back? I think I’ve thoroughly tested the binder at this point.

Komaeda nodded and pulled himself up out of the water, resting on the tiling surrounding the pool’s edge. I followed suit and clambered to my feet.

“Say, Hinata-kun...” The boy’s voice was quiet.

Komaeda was staring up at the night sky, I followed his eyes and looked as well.

“Hm?”

“Do you ever get the feeling that this isn’t real?”

I looked back to him. Pool water sparkled at the corner of his eyes, maybe they were tears?

“Way too often.” I whispered.

I offered a hand to Komaeda, which he accepted. He rose to his feet but didn’t let go of my hand.

Huh. This is weird.

“I just cannot believe that all the pain and suffering I’ve been through suddenly ended once I started going to Hope’s Peak. There’s absolutely no way.” The boy mumbled as he stared up at the night sky.

I squeezed his hand reassuringly and sighed. “I can’t believe I’m going to Hope’s Peak. I obviously didn’t win the lottery and no matter what I try I can’t find any semblance of a talent in me.”

“I bet your talent is something amazing, Hinata-kun. No, I’m sure of it.” Komaeda pulled his head back to smile at me.

His words made my chest fill with butterflies. It felt like nobody had ever had faith in me like this before.

“Maybe you finally hit a lucky streak?” I attempted to reassure him as best I could.

“You’re sweet, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda placed a bony hand on my cheek. “But it really doesn’t work like that.”

I could feel his warm breath on my lips. Oh my god he is way too close.

“Want to do the teenage thing and fuck about it?”

“What?” Komaeda's grey eyes widened in shock.

Oh my god that was out loud I actually said that Jesus Christ this is meant to be a solemn moment and I just nuked it with my stupid hormones.

“I-I didn’t mean to say that...I am so so-“ I was promptly cut off by Komaeda planting his lips on mine.

Huh?

What?

My mind began to race as the other boy stroked my cheek with his thumb. I really didn’t expect this...but I did not hate it whatsoever.

I brought my hand up to the back of Komaeda’s head and kissed him back. His lips were so soft, I felt a bit embarrassed about how chapped and dry my own were. The other boy didn’t seem to care though as he sucked at them excitedly.

The kiss was broken when I moaned into his mouth. Komaeda pulled away with a deep blush and stared into my eyes.

“Your cabin or mine?” He breathed

“Yours, there’s sand all over my bed.”

The boy nodded and grabbed my wrist, beginning to drag me along behind him. I followed in close pursuit, my brain screaming at me to stop before I ruined a good thing. Komaeda had put his faith in me and opened up about his feelings so I was going to take advantage of that and fuck him?

We stepped into Komaeda’s cabin together, he promptly shut and locked the door behind us. He stared at me for a few seconds, probably coming to the shock that we were actually going to do this.

“I-I’m so sorry. We don’t actually have to do this...” I rubbed my arm somewhat embarrassed.

“No, I want to. I just...I know absolutely nothing about how to make you feel good.” Komaeda mumbled.

“I don’t know anything about how to make you feel good either.” I forced an awkward smile.

“I guess it’s a first time for both of us then?” Komaeda reciprocated that smile.

This got uncomfortable real fast.

I sighed and dragged Komaeda over to his bed. He obediently sat down in anticipation.

“Lie on your back with your knees bent.” I ordered, a mix of frustration and excitement swirling in my gut.

The boy followed my orders. I sat myself at the end of his legs and wrapped my fingers under the waistband of his shorts.

God they really didn’t hide anything.

The tent Komaeda was pitching was bigger than I expected from him. I slowly pulled his shorts down off his ass.

The boy lifted his hips and straightened his legs in an attempt to help me wiggle his sticky shorts off. His dick sprung free and I managed to pull his shorts all the way off.

Oh my god he had a nice dick.

I must have been staring for a while because Komaeda piped up. “Is there something wrong with it?”

“No, the opposite actually.” I placed my hands on his knees and spread his legs.

Komaeda obeyed and I settled between them, wrapping my fingers carefully around his cock. His skin was cold from the pool but the blood pumping made his dick warm. I heard a quiet gasp escape his lips as I gently stroked down him.

“Hinata-kun, I can tell you’re trying not to hurt me but you’re barely touching it.” Komaeda stated bluntly.

I looked up at his face and felt my own flush red. The teen sat up and placed his own hand over mine, moving my hand to grip tighter and jerk a bit faster.

“Ooh...that’s good.” Komaeda moaned out, letting go of my hand and laying back down.

I felt like I was really starting to get the hang of it. Komaeda’s hips rolled up into my hands occasionally as he moaned in ecstasy.

I wanted to make him feel even better.

I pressed my lips to the tip of his dick, sucking at the precome leaking out of it.

“Ahh, you don’t have to do that.” Komaeda smiled down at me.

I ignored his words and pressed the head of his cock into my mouth. Komaeda’s hips shot up in an involuntary twitch, forcing his cock further into my mouth.

I nearly bit down in surprise, instead opting to steady his hips.

“Hinata-kun I’m so sorry...I’ve never been on the receiving end of something like this before.” Komaeda’s fingers gripped the sheets of his bed tightly as he panted.

I hummed softly in reassurance as I stroked at what I hadn’t fit in my mouth, slowly inching it in. The teen moaned with eyes squeezed shut.

Komaeda’s hips wiggled under my grip. “This feels so much better than I ever imagined it! Ah you really do spark hope in everyone around you!”

I hollowed out my cheeks and dragged my lips up and off his cock, leaving with a pop . “Better than you ever imagined?”

The boy looked down to me and nodded. “I’ve fantasised about this since the day you asked me to hang out with you.”

My cheeks filled with heat immediately. “Seriously?”

“I must admit however after today the fantasy did change slightly.” Komaeda tapped a finger against his chin.

My heart sunk a bit. “In a bad way?”

“No not really. You’d be amazed how little my plans changed.” The boy smiled as he sat himself up slightly.

Plans? Oh god if I pressed any further this would never end. I pressed the Komaeda's cock back into my mouth and squeezed his balls slightly, eliciting a gasp from his mouth.

His hand stroked into my hair, finally a sign I was doing the right thing. Komaeda pushed my head down slightly, encouraging me to take more in.

I swallowed around him, the taste of salty precome and chlorine ever present in my mouth. Komaeda moaned loudly and pushed down even harder on my head.

Too far!!!

I gagged as his dick hit the back of my throat. Komaeda just moaned louder and pulled my head up slightly. His fingers were pulling at my hair at this point, it hurt like a bitch.

But I can't deny that I was really enjoying the rough handling.

I could feel my thighs starting to get sticky with warmth. I was so turned on as the boy shoved my head back onto his dick again. This time I didn’t gag, but did choke as he blocked my airway.

“You don’t seem to be very good at this, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda’s tone had changed. It was deeper than before, dripping with lust.

I slid my tongue across the underside of his cock, making the boy gasp and moan.

“Faster.”

I pulled my head off his cock slightly before taking him back in in a bobbing motion. This seemed to really get him going as he released the tight grip on my hair.

I hollowed my cheeks and kept the movement up. Komaeda moaned over and over again as he bucked his hips up with my movements.

“Ah, Hinata-kun, I think I’m going to cum.”

I had totally accepted my fate that he was going to cum in my mouth. It wasn’t going to taste good, but it was going to make cleanup easier.

Komaeda gripped my hair tightly and pulled my head completely off his dick.

Or maybe not?

He took his cock in his hand and stroked quickly until hot cum splattered onto my face. I was so fucking shell-shocked as I watched him ride out his orgasm, moaning, panting,

and cumming on my face.

Once he had completely milked his dick of all he could he exhaled loudly and smiled wide. His fingers were still tight in my hair as he pulled my face up to kiss him.

He licked the cum off my lips and kissed sloppily. My mouth was so full of saliva I thought I was drowning.

The classic porn-star move really wasn’t that sexy.

This whole first time thing wasn’t all that sexy.

But maybe I’m just too in my own head.

I pressed my tongue into Komaeda’s mouth, licking the bitter cum off his own. He moaned into my mouth as I pushed him back down onto the bed.

It was suffocating and hot. Drool dripped down our chins as we refused to pull apart for anything. I needed this. He needed this.

Komaeda pressed his knee up into my crotch. I ground up against him with a high moan.

The other finally broke the kiss. “I should probably repay the favour.”

“Please.” I breathed hot air against his lips.

Komaeda grabbed me by the hips and switched our positions, placing him on top. Seeing the boy above me made me even more desperate.

“Komaeda...” I panted.

“Yes?”

“Do you mind if I clean up a bit before we do this?”

“Ah, of course.”

The skinny boy moved himself off me and laid down beside. I sat up and shuffled off the bed.

“You really shouldn’t cum on people’s faces.” I muttered as I picked up a shirt from the floor.

Komaeda looked somewhat disappointed. “But you look so handsome with cum on your face.”

I pouted and walked into the bathroom, half shutting the door behind myself. I picked up a hand towel and began to run it under the sink.

Whilst waiting for the towel to get completely wet, I glanced up into the mirror. White fluid sat on my forehead and had been streaked on my nose and cheeks, probably from out aggressive makeout. My hair was ruffled and sticking up every which-way.

I turned off the tap and wiped the hand towel on my face, ridding myself of any trace of Komaeda’s... god even thinking of a word for it was embarrassing.

I slipped the swim binder off over my head and switched it out for the T-shirt I had collected off Komaeda’s floor.

It was a pink T-shirt I had never seen him wearing before. On the front was a cartoon picture of a white rabbit.

Cute…

I removed my board-shorts and left my half-dry boxers on. It felt too brazen to walk out without them.

I stepped out of the bathroom to see the fluffy haired boy waiting patiently on the bed.

“Huh. Why is it you look so much hotter when you’re wearing my clothes?” Komaeda grinned a toothy smile as I laid down next to him.

“Y’know I wondered the same thing earlier today.” It wasn’t quite the same thing but it was a similar thought.

Komaeda stared into my eyes for a moment before nestling his head into my neck and sucking at the skin. I gasped at the sensation and moved closer.

The boy’s hand pulled my shirt up slightly and settled on my tummy. I couldn’t help but giggle at how foreign and sweet the sensation was.

Komaeda peppered kisses up my jaw until he was breathing hot air into my ear, making me shiver.

“I really like you, Hinata Hajime.”

An involuntary moan left my lips upon hearing my given name from him. The hand he had on my tummy had snaked up to my ribs.

“Is there anything you’re uncomfortable with?” Komaeda whispered as he drew circles on my skin. “I figure I should ask before I cum on your face or something.”

I giggled and placed my hand over his, moving it up slightly so that my breast was now resting in his hand. “Touch what you want. Don’t take the shirt off.”

Komaeda nodded and squeezed my boob, the sensation causing me to bury my face in his chest with a huff. The boy squeezed a nipple between two fingers, making me moan quietly.

“You really do have bara titties.” He smiled wide at his words.

“Shut uuuup!” I whined into his skin.

Komaeda let go and trailed his fingers down to my boxers. It was nerve-wracking and exciting all the while.

“You own a lot of underwear with flowers, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda mumbled as he slid his fingers beneath the elastic.

“I like flowers.” I mumbled, somewhat embarrassed.

“Should I mention I jerked off in the ones you gave me?”

“Hey those were my favourite pair!”

“I was just so grateful that Hinata-kun would give me a pair of his underwear.”

“Give? I want them back.”

“Even though I masturbated in them?”

“Yes!”

I puffed out my cheeks in a pout as I looked up at Komaeda. My train of thought was quickly interrupted by fingers pressing themselves against my wet folds.

“Oh my.” Komaeda’s voice was quiet.

That reaction alone was enough to send me spiralling in embarrassment. I planted my face in Komaeda’s shoulder as he let his fingers make their acquaintance with my nether regions.

“I’m going to take off your underwear, is that alright?”

“Yeah.” I squeaked out.

Komaeda sat up and shuffled himself down the bed to the ends of my legs. He hooked bony fingers around the elastic of my boxers and pulled them down and off my ankles.

I bent my knees and spread my legs. The boy gripped my thighs, squeezing them slightly.

“It is normal for your legs to be wet as well?” Komaeda ran his fingers through the juices on my thighs.

“I uh- if I’m really in the mood... I guess so yeah.” I stuttered out. “You’re really hot Nagito.”

The boy between my legs laughed and licked my left thigh. I yelped at the sudden sensation of a tongue so close to my vagina.

Two fingers rubbed carefully around my entrance, making me whine impatiently.

“Hinata-kun. Instead of making erotic noises could you tell me what you’d like me to do?” Komaeda’s voice stern, I felt like I was being scolded by a teacher.

“You can have a go at fingering me if you’d like?” It felt like my face was going to melt with this heat.

Komaeda didn’t hesitate to push two fingers in, coaxing a moan from my throat. He rubbed his fingers up against my walls with little grace.

“It’s so warm inside you...”

“The commentary isn’t necessary! Komaeda!”

The boy curled his fingers hard into one spot that make me moan loudly. My hips arched off the bed as I slid a hand down to massage my clit.

“Oh fuck do that that again please.” I moaned through gritted teeth.

“This?” Komaeda rubbed his fingers against the spot again, applying more pressure than before.

I squealed out as stars sparkled at the edge of my vision. “Oh my God Nagito please make me cum!”

With that sentence Komaeda instantly pulled out his fingers.

I whined in frustration as Komaeda placed his hand over the one that had been rubbing small circles into my clit.

“This feels good too, doesn’t it?” He inquired.

I nodded and he pulled my hand away. Was he trying to starve me of all pleasure? That dick.

And then he replaced my hand with his mouth.

I moaned involuntarily as he licked at my clit unashamedly. The way his lips sucked at it had me grinding my hips up into his mouth within seconds.

“Sh-shit are you sure you’ve never done this before? It feels amazing.” I moaned breathlessly.

Komaeda looked at me with half lidded eyes and suddenly I felt his tongue move downwards, pressing into my hole. I could have died of embarrassment right then and there if it didn’t feel so fucking good. His tongue was so warm as it stoked my walls, making me throw my head back against the pillows in pleasure.

And then he went back to it, that spot that made me feel so good.

The sensation was completely different this time around. I could practically feel the taste buds on his tongue pressing against it. I cried out and began to rub small, slow circles into my clit again.

“Oh my god Nagit-ooh please keep going.” I panted as a pressure began to build in my gut.

Clearly Komaeda got the message because he kept up the pace, I was practically writhing as small moans escaped with each exhale and pant.

“Please babe please I’m so cl-ose!”

I rubbed my clit a bit faster, my circular movements were getting messier by the second. Pants and high-pitched moans got shorter and faster until-

I was absolutely drowned in pleasure.

My vision went white and the world went silent as I grabbed at Komaeda’s hair. I ground my hips into my other hand, rising out my orgasm with the help of the other boy.

The adrenaline wore off and I collapsed against the pillows. I could faintly hear Komaeda laughing as I shut my eyes.

“Oh my, Hinata-kun.”

‘Oh my’ god he loved to say that.

“Oh my what?” My voice was a bit hoarse from all the moaning.

Komaeda was looking up my from between my legs, I hadn’t even noticed him stop tongue-fucking me. His chin glistened with fluids, most likely drool and...me.

He wore the most childish grin on his face. “All your erotic noises have me hard again.”

I sat up and pouted. “I’m not sucking your dick again, you have no self control.”

“Ah, is this about the ‘cumming on the face’ thing?”

“More the ‘aggressive face-fucking’.”

“Are you not meant to do that?”

“I mean, sometimes you are but you really should not if you haven’t agreed to it.”

“Huh. There are many men out there who do not know this fact.”

“Really?”

“I’ve been face-fucked numerous times and nobody ever asked me if they could.”

“Wait wait wait wait wait.” I crawled up to Komaeda on my hands and knees. “I need more context.”

The boy crossed his arms in thought. “I was about 15? It was at a party. Lots of alcohol, lots of older boys.”

I sat eagerly waiting to hear this story. Knowing how all of Komaeda’s stories went, this is going to be a fucked up one that shaped him in some way.

“And I was chatting with a guy, he was about 17. I was really interested in him. We were talking about party tricks. I mentioned that I had no gag reflex and he-“

“YOU WHAT?”

“I don’t have a gag reflex?”

To prove his point, Komaeda shoved two fingers down his throat. I shuddered at the sight, he truly was the ideal gay man.

“God now I’m riled up again. Finish your story.”

Komaeda seemed somewhat pleased. “Well he asked me if I would suck his dick, I said yes. We agreed to meet in the bathroom in 10 minutes time. When I got there, there were 4 other guys as well!”

“Oh god.” I muttered

“So I got face-fucked by 5 guys!”

“Ko that’s awful.”

“I think otherwise. It was one of the best nights of my life.”

I mustn’t have done a very good job at hiding my horror because Komaeda laughed a sickly cackle.

“You’re so gross.” I sighed, flashing him a weak smile.

The boy ceased his laughter. “And you’re everything but gross, Hinata-kun. I’m surprised you let trash like me even touch you.”

“I’d fuck a lot more trash if it was as good as you.” I cradled his chin in my hand and wiped away some of the fluids coating his mouth.

“That’s not very hygienic, Hinata-kun.”

“Shut up.” I planted a kiss firmly onto his lips.

Komaeda gave me a small smile and placed his hands on my hips. “So, I’m still hard. Want to go for round two?”

“Hell yeah.”

[98prilla]

Changing Tides

Previous 

AO3

So. This is the final chapter. If you’ve gotten here, thanks so much for reading it all, and I hope you liked reading it as much as I did writing it. I might dabble more with this universe in the future, but I’m happy with leaving it here for now. That being said, if you have any ideas for a continuation of this, feel free to send them my way, or write them yourself, as long as you tag and credit me! You guys are all awesome.

...

It took them a while to get back, mostly because Roman kept showing him tricks, helping him steer and adjust himself and his fins properly, helping him not overthink it and just move. They ended up playing, more than anything.

 Roman was right. Once he got moving, it was actually pretty fun. Shooting through the water faster than anything, the feel of it parting around him, laughing at the bubble tornado Roman swept him into by swimming around him so fast he was dizzy trying to follow him, the bubbles propelling him towards the surface, Roman laughing at his giggle fit.

 When they finally did swim back into the cave, Virgil was instantly barreled into, surprised to hear… barking? And whiskers tickling his face as a nose nuzzled against his cheek, finally drawing back so he could see the deep, dark eyes of a seal.

 “Patton?” He asked, laughing at his enthusiastic clap of his flippers, barking again as he backed up, allowing Virgil to sit. Virgil smiled, then tackled the seal himself, sending them rolling across the kelp floor, laughing as Patton righted himself in the water, and started chasing him around the cave in retaliation, trying to love tackle him again. Logan yelped, narrowly dodging a collision, Roman laughing as they raced around him, before shooting down into the kelp.

“Well. He certainly seems to be feeling better." Logan commented, smiling fondly himself as he watched the chase.

 “How could he not, when faced with a face full of bouncy seal Patton?”

 Virgil collapsed atop the kelp, out of breath and laughing, Patton nuzzling his face again, laughing more at the tickling whiskers.

 “Ok, ok! I give up!” He laughed, Patton pulling back with a satisfied snort.

 Virgil flipped over onto his stomach, head propped up on a hand as his tail waved lazily in the water. His other rested atop Patton, idly petting his head, liking the smooth, silky soft feel of his skin, a wave of tiredness washing over him. He found himself listing sideways, so he was more half laying atop Patton than sitting next to him. He smiled at Patton’s questioning chirp.

 “just tired. I had… had a bit of a panic attack, when I woke up.” Patton rumbled, worried, and he sighed. “it was more of a flashback. I don’t really wanna talk about it.” He mumbled, pressing his head against Patton’s soft, squishy back. “I got the gist from Roman, kinda. We’re like, transformer buddies. We could come up with, like, anime girl transformation sequences to act out. Oh god, we’d be team rocket, wouldn’t we?” He mumbled, not even sure what he was saying anymore, but smiling at Patton’s amused huff.

 “Virgil?” He rolled over with a small ‘uh huh’, looking up at Roman, Logan hovering beside him. “Are you… alright?” He took a deep breath, it still felt a bid odd, but not in a bad way.

 “Honestly? I have no idea. Roman said you could fill me in, on what exactly happened? What… I am?” He asked, a bit hesitant, not sure if he actually wanted an answer, a bit afraid of what he’d hear.

 “The species is called Merrow…”

 …

 By the end of the explanation, Virgil was shaking, hands fisted so hard his nails were cutting into his palms, filled with too many emotions he couldn’t quite name, tail flicking in agitation. He’d drawn away from Patton, his back resting against the rocky wall of the cave, an angry, hurt noise building in his throat as Logan finished.  

 “Virgil?” Roman asked, softly, a bit worried at the mer’s silence, even more worried as he let out a soft, bitter laugh.

 “Of course. No wonder she didn’t want me. No wonder neither of them did. I reminded Her of being forced into slavery, forced into a marriage into his bed, so of course she wouldn’t love me, couldn’t love me.  I was a memory of the worst thing that had ever happened to her.” Roman’s heart cracked at the hopelessness in his voice, and given Patton’s small whine, he felt the same.

 Patton moved closer, slipping his head under Virgil’s arm, snuggling across his lap. The weight helped Virgil breathe, and he found himself petting Patton absently again, the repeated action helping him focus.

 “Virgil. I am sure she loved you. She just couldn’t deny her nature, once she found her item.” He snorted at Logan’s words, distancing himself mentally already, shutting down against the pain.

 “why would she? Nothing… there’s nothing worth loving about me. I was a horrible, awful mistake made from a horrible awful situation, started by a horrible, awful man. What… what could ever be good about me?” He asked, fingers curled against Patton, as he looked away, looked at the stone, just as weathered and cracked as he felt. “maybe I should have just drowned.” Logan inhaled sharply, and he could feel Roman shaking beside him, at the emptiness to Virgil’s voice, the hollowness in his eyes as he retreated into himself. Patton whined, nudging at his hand, but Virgil just pulled them close his chest, biting his lip.

 “Virgil, no. His actions do not reflect on your worth as a person. There are so many wonderful, good things about you. Your curiosity, your eagerness to learn, your open, accepting nature, despite all the terrible circumstances surrounding your life, you are absolutely brilliant, Virgil. I have never met a more resilient, amazing, being in my entire life. Do you understand me, Virgil? You are not the sum of your parents. You are yourself, and who you are is beautiful.” Logan said fervently, gently shaking Virgil’s shoulders, forcing the boy to look up at his eyes, to see the burning, aching, belief. “Don’t you ever think of yourself like that, Virgil. Don’t you ever…” Logan trailed off, close to tears, shocking both Patton and Roman with his unusual display of emotion, before sweeping Virgil into a tight, soft embrace, shaking at just how much pain filled this small mer. After a moment, Virgil folded against him, letting out a low, keening sob, one that shook Virgil to his core, and had Logan wrapping him tighter in his arms, cradling Virgil’s head, failing to suppress his own tears, because how dare they, how dare they make this incredible, kind, smart, inquisitive child be so afraid of himself and the world, think himself so worthless, that he would consider that level of harm a valid course of action? “you are worth so, so much, Virgil. We… I… already cannot fathom a life without you in it. And you will never, never have to go back to that life as long as you live, go back to that… that monster.”

 “I wanna stay with you and ro and pat. I don’t wanna go back, I just… I wanna be safe…” Virgil gasped.

 “You are. I promise, you are.”

 “c-can I g-go home? W-with Patton? I don’t wanna be in the w-water, anymore. I just w-wanna go h-home."

 “Of course, firefish. You should be fine, to go back on land now. Just don’t take off the sweater, for a bit, ok? Unzipping it will change you back.” Roman murmured, carefully joining the hug, pressing Virgil and Logan close to him for a moment, Patton nuzzling his way into the middle, making Virgil let out a tired smile.

 “Would you two like a ride home?” Roman asked, laughing at Patton's delighted bark, the selkie clapping his flippers and launching himself into Roman's hands. “I will take that as a yes. Virg?” Virgil nodded, settling against him a bit more carefully.

 “Have a good ride, you two. I shall see you soon.” Logan said, smiling softly, and Virgil waved, Patton chirping, then Roman slipped out of the cave.

…

 “Virg, honey, you gotta wake up.” His eyes drifted open slowly, for a moment forgetting where he was, surprised at being woken so gently. Usually it was screaming, or glass shattering. Then he felt waves lapping at his tail, and he scrubbed his eyes blearily.

 “You fell asleep on the ride over, starfish.” Roman rumbled lowly. “You wanna try changing back, so you can go sleep inside?” He smiled at the slightly teasing tone to Roman’s voice.

 He hummed, focusing for a moment on the feel of the invisible fabric against his skin, gasping as he undid the zipper. A strange, almost numb, almost tingling sensation took over his tail, and he squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to watch it unfuse, feeling slightly nauseous at the notion. After a few long seconds, he felt two legs, and a glance confirmed they were back and his tail was gone. He wiggled his toes experimentally, letting out a relieved breath as they responded instantly. Of course, now having legs felt weird, and he huffed.

 “You okay, kiddo?” Patton asked softly, and he nodded.

 “yeah. Just gonna take some getting used to, I guess.” He answered, accepting Patton’s help in pulling him to his feet, balance completely off and he nearly tumbled back to the sand, but Roman’s hand shot out and caught him, keeping him steady.

 “Easy, firefish.” Virgil huffed, leaning against his hand for a moment longer, nuzzling against it for a moment and making Roman blush.

 “thanks Ro. For… for everything.” He muttered, Virgil’s own face red as he pulled away, letting Patton wrap an arm around his shoulders. “See you tomorrow, yeah?”

 “Of course, kid. Wouldn’t dream of skipping out on you. I’ll make sure Lo comes too, though I think he won’t need much coaxing for once. He’s taken quite a shine to you.”

 “Who wouldn’t! With scales like those, he’s hard to ignore.” Patton added, making Virgil groan and Roman roll his eyes. He waved once, slipping back under the water, reappearing further out a moment later, doing a fancy flip that had Virgil muttering ‘show off’ under his breath as he smiled.  

 “So. Anime girl transformation sequences, huh?” He groaned at Patton’s words, sinking further into his hoodie, his new, magic hoodie, smiling as he heard Patton’s soft giggle.

 “Can we just go home, already?” He mumbled, feeling Patton’s breath hitch again at his use of that word, home.

 He’d never really considered the boat home, anyways. There had never been any love, there, or warmth, or laughter. None of the stuff that would make up a home. But here, with Roman and Logan, in this small cabin with Patton?

 For the first time ever, he was… loved.

 “Of course kiddo. Let’s get inside and get warmed up. I’ll make some hot chocolate!”

 “could… could you maybe read, some more? I…you did that when I was sick, right?” Patton squeezed his hand as they entered the house, letting go to start the cocoa as he slipped into his chair by the fireplace.

 “I did. I didn’t know you remembered that, kiddo. Or even heard it, actually.” Patton replied from the kitchen, coming back a few minutes later, passing him a mug, which smelled delicious.

 “I mean… I don’t, really, I just remember your voice. It… was nice.” He mumbled, taking a sip of his drink. Patton smiled warmly, grabbing the book of fairytales off the side table next to his own chair. He settled in, pushing up his glasses, glancing at Virgil, wrapped up in a blanket, closing his eyes as he listened to Patton read, the steady sound soothing as he occasionally sipped from his mug.

 Patton kept an eye on the kid, watching his head slowly droop as he read, managing to spring forwards and catch the mug before it slipped from Virgil’s hands and spilled onto his blanket. He set it aside with a soft smile, stroking Virgil’s bangs back, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead.

 “sweet dreams, little merrow.” He moved to step back, but Virgil stopped him, eyes just barely flickering open, hand pulling weakly at his sleeve. He chuckled, but complied, scooping Virgil off the chair and into his arms, resettling with him in his lap, cradling Virgil close to him, humming softly. Virgil melted into his arms, breathing deep and slow, and he couldn’t help but cry a little, at how far this kiddo had come. Only a few days ago, he would have flinched back at any touch. It was amazing, how resilient and brave Virgil was, that he was willing to trust again, willing to open up, willing to let Patton hold him while he slept and trust that nothing and no one would hurt him.

 “Love you, kiddo.” He whispered, closing his own eyes, surprised to feel Virgil shift against him a moment later.

 “love y’too, pat. You’re a good dad.” Virgil mumbled, nuzzling closer against him with a sleepy sigh, smiling as Patton’s arms held him a little tighter, enveloping him in all the safety he’d ever need. And if Patton cried a little harder at that, well, who could blame him?

[willow-salix]

Here's my offering for the second FabFiveFeb with the awesome @gumnut-logic focusing on the gorgeous Gordon. I used two of the prompts. Enjoy!

Selene's eyes cut to the side away from the book that she promised John she'd read but was continuing to boggle her brain.

He was there again, hanging around near the bedroom door, haunting the hallway, stalking the sleeping quarters of the house. And it was getting annoying, she'd have to do something about it. It was hard enough to concentrate on "Unlocking the Universe" without the constant distractions of the sighing, whining, moaning apparition outside. 

The figure moved past the door again, looking in at her. She tossed the book aside and sat up. 

"Gordon! What the hell is wrong with you?" 

The sun lightened, tousled blonde head popped around the door frame. 

"Oh, Selly, are you done reading?" 

"Well I am now."

He bounded in like an enthusiastic puppy, dropping down on the end of the bed, forcing her to move her feet quickly out of the way. 

"Did you want something?" 

"No, it's all good." He glanced around, his eyes taking in the new editions to his brother's room. Since Selene had been in his life John had definitely lightened up, growing more comfortable in his own skin and spending more time with them all but, even though Selene had gone shopping with Grandma and Virgil to pick out a few things to make herself feel more at home, John's uniqueness still shined through. 

They had all wondered if Selene would take advantage of John's suggestion that she redecorate his room, but they should have known better. Selene never acted as you would expect her too, very much like all the women in their lives. They were used to strong women that never followed the crowd, Kayo, Grandma, Penelope, it stood to reason that anyone the brothers met would be just as special. 

John's posters and star charts were still on the walls, but a few new types of chart had joined them, ones that showed the phases of the moon and its meanings, the sun and the solstices and the constellations related to star signs. 

Her books were intermingled with his own, her clothes were in his wardrobe mixed in with his,  items of makeup and toiletries were scattered around his bathroom and little interesting trinkets and her divination tools had joined his collection of space rocks, awards and celestial models on his shelves. The room had been softened with the addition of softly glowing lamps, fluffy blankets, a squishy armchair that Selene liked to curl up in and a couple of house plants. 

But the most interesting item to appear was what she called her altar, a small, scarf draped table nestled in a corner near the window. It held her tools, candles, crystals and other interesting things he didn't know the use of. The room now smelled of sweet incense and warm candle wax instead of its scent of furniture polish and occasionally John's shower gel. 

He had expected the room to feel different, but he could still sense his brother's presence in there even though he was currently up in Five. Somehow they had managed to blend effortlessly, a natural evolution of the two. 

Gordon would never admit it but he had moments of intense jealousy when he saw the two of them together. Not that he begrudged his brother the happiness he had obviously found, nor that he saw Selene as anything but a much loved sister who often seemed like a female Scott, put there to worry, boss him around and force him to eat. 

No, he just wished he had the same thing. It seemed rather unfair that his brother could manage to meet someone in such a random way and find his perfect partner when, try as he might, he could never seem to get any closer to the one who held his heart in her perfectly manicured hand. 

He sighed, his shoulders slumping. It seemed that every time they got close to their moment something or someone got in the way. 

"Spit it out."

He jerked out of his musings. "What?" 

"Whatever it is that you're thinking so hard about," she reached out and smoothed her thumb down the scrunched up skin between his eyebrows. 

She was right, he had been hovering, mostly because he was trying to get up the guts to not only ask for help but put his plan into action. He guessed it was now or never. 

"Sel, I need your help with something, call it my birthday present."

Selene sat up a little straighter. "OK, obviously I'll help with anything, unless it's a prank on your brother, in which case I'll still help but I'll deny all knowledge and throw you under the bus in a heartbeat."

"Good to know," he grinned, her teasing as always, putting him at ease. "Promise you won't tell anyone about this either."

She touched her hand to her heart and drew a little cross. "Cross my heart, I won't tell a soul."

"OK, first I need to show you something, but we're gonna need transport."

                                        ***

Selene's nose was pressed against the window of the little sub, her eyes drinking in the sight of the world outside. 

"Wow…this is just…wow." She had never expected there to be so many colours illuminated by the powerful lights of Four. A moving rainbow of waving, pulsing, rippling beauty that covered the sea floor, building up into what could only be described as an underwater garden. Mounds of coral in all colours created a hilly backdrop for the shoals of colourful fish that swam lazily around them. 

"Better than space?" Gordon nudged her playfully with his elbow. 

"I will never admit it to your brother, but it might just top it. This is incredible, I mean, I've never even been scuba diving."

"You've never…" he shook his head in equal parts amazement and disappointment. "That's it, I'm teaching you to dive. It's amazing, you know John used to join me a lot, he likes to skindive," he saw the blank look on her face. "Where you dive without a suit, just with an aqualung and flippers. He helped teach me to swim you know, Scott wanted to throw me in and let me work it out for myself as Dad did to him and Virg, but John was insistent that he help."

"That's so cute."

"No it's not, it's manly and the complete opposite of cute."

"Sorry, not cute at all, you're right," but her grin said he would never change her mind, she was just humouring him. 

"We're nearly there," he said, changing the subject. "It should be around this area, I worked with Dr Forsythe at the Living Oceans foundation, who specialises in Coral Reef conservation, the results ended up being pretty positive."

"Is that where we're going now?" 

He nodded. "You should start seeing some any minute now."

It was nice and quite interesting to see the way Gordon handled his craft. It was nowhere near as big, fancy or fast as the other Thunderbirds, but he acted like it was an extension of himself. She was used to seeing Gordon as the playfully mischievous one that she often caught plotting something, or out on a mission when he was all seriousness with the odd burst of light. This was different, this was his element and he was beyond comfortable. It was nice to see him so relaxed and happy. 

The first flicker caught his eye and he paused, his finger pointing the way. Her eyes followed his directions, growing wider as she saw the result of his months of effort. 

"That… is truly amazing, boo. She'll love this."

"So you'll help me get her out here?" 

"Oh, you can count on it."

                                     ***

"I do so enjoy our little shopping trips," Penelope tucked her arm though Selene's, "you always find such interesting little shops that I would never have thought to look in."

They had wandered all over Union Square and were now making their way down to the bay, Selene having had a nice little restaurant recommended where they could have dinner. 

"I love that dress you got, you suit vintage, it will look beautiful on you. I just wish my style suited it a bit more, but we can't all be blonde and beautiful."

"Oh hush, I happen to know a certain space monitor who thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the world."

Selene smiled, catching sight of their destination. 

"And I happen to know an aquanaut who thinks the same about you," Selene pointed down to the beach where Four sat, surrounded by people. 

The shock on Penelope's face was a sight to behold, it took a lot to surprise her, but they had definitely managed it. 

"Don't keep him waiting."

"But what about dinner? What will you do, Parker isn't returning for at least four hours?" 

"John's picking me up in an hour in my car, we've got a date night. Now go," she gave Penelope a gentle push towards the railings.

Feeling uncharacteristically unsure as to what she was doing and rather ambushed, Penelope slowly descended the steps down to the beach. She had absolutely no idea what was going on, why was he even here, on his birthday of all days, when he should be celebrating with his family. 

The back hatch of Four opened to reveal a grinning Gordon. He cambered out, stretching to his full height but instead of the standard blue uniform he was dressed in smart, grey trousers and a plain white shirt with not a palm tree in sight. His usually messy hair was brushed and an attempt had clearly been made to tame the unruly mop. 

"Lady Penelope."

"Gordon, happy birthday."

"It is now, and also," he reached back into his craft and drew out a bouquet of pink roses, "happy Valentines day."

Penelope could feel an uncharacteristic blush warming her cheeks as she took the flowers. 

"Will you do me the honour of being my Valentine tonight?" 

She nodded. "I'd like that very much."

"I've got something to show you, care to take a little trip with me?" 

"How could I turn down such an offer?"

She took his offered hand and climbed aboard. 

                                     ***

Penny had been under water more times than she could count, being an experienced diver and having a car that was more than waterproof, but nothing compared to sitting beside Gordon Tracy as he piloted them deeper into the ocean. 

He'd programmed in the coordinates and left the small craft on autopilot as he produced a picnic basket from her favourite London deli, filled with all her favourites. 

She would never have believed that he had it in him to put together such a romantic gesture, he'd likely had a little help since Selene was obviously involved, but she found she didn't really mind. 

It was nice to be alone together, especially with no chance of interruption bar an emergency. No nosy Parker to wedge himself between them, no darling Bertie to demand their attention, no rescuees to reassure, no brothers to interrupt. Just them and the quiet peace of the ocean. It was rather blissful. 

Now that they had time to talk they made the most of it, chatting between bites of crusty bread, tangy cheese, succulent grapes and a very palatable white wine, catching up on their lives the past few months. 

She looked more beautiful than he had expected, dressed down in casual jeans and a cosy sweater, clothes that one wore to go shopping with a friend rather than to a society event. It was strange but most definitely not unpleasant to see her out of her comfort zone and designer clothes, to see the real woman underneath. This was the one he'd wanted to get to know, the one he was drawn to. 

Penelope found her gaze drawn over and over to the gentle curve of his lips as she watched him eat, recalling just how soft they had felt during their one, brief kiss. She hadn't planned it, she'd just been overwhelmed by everything, seeing him back on active duty after his brush with death had been emotional for her and she'd thrown aside all decorum, giving in to the urge. Now she wanted to be able to do that again, wanted to lean in, close the distance between them and lose herself in the unique presence that was Gordon Tracy. 

He blinked his big caramel eyes at her and she was done for, she inched forward as he did the same...BEEP… 

Gordon leapt back into the pilots seat as they neared a reef, growing instantly more serious as he took back control of the little craft from the autopilot now they had reached their destination, steering it expertly past clusters of coral and waving fronds of exotic underwater plants and little darting fish. 

Gordon watched her eyes drinking in the sight of the reef he'd so lovingly helped to cultivate, to save for future generations. 

"I've been working with a guy specialising in marine conservation breeding, basically breeding hardier fish with those that are endangered, trying to create new breeds that will survive the changing climate."

"Oh really? That's fascinating. Were you successful?" 

Gordon didn't speak for a second, guiding the nose of the sub around a particularly large group of pink puffy anemones. There they were, still in their shoal, lazily swimming, almost exactly where he and Selene had found them two days previously. 

"You tell me," he nodded towards the small, genetically perfect saddleback butterflyfish. 

"Oh my," Penelope stared at the fish, their bodies sparkling in the light of Four's high beams. There was only one way to describe the shine of their scales, the way they seemed to be a silvery pearl colour one moment and with a flick of their body you saw a rainbow of colours…

"Iridescent," she whispered in awe. "I have never seen anything so beautiful. And you helped create them?" 

Gordon smiled proudly, watching his babies swimming happily around the craft as they floated gently through the shoal. They were graceful, unbothered by their presence, seemingly curious as they came right up to the glass to investigate. "Yep, I got to name them too."

"You did? What are they called?" Penelope tickled her finger against the window, laughing with delight as a fish followed her movements, booping its nose on the glass. 

"Well, obviously they have their species name of Chaetodon Ephipippium but in English," he paused, slightly embarrassed now that he was here with her. He took a deep breath, remembering what Selene had instructed him, be bold, be brave, be daring."In English it's a Pretty Penny."

She blinked, unprepared for the wave of emotion his information provoked. He'd named them after her. These beautiful, unique creatures he'd created would forever be a reminder of just how special he was. 

"That's…well…it's very flattering, and they are certainly very pretty," Penelope turned her head, hoping he wouldn't see her blush. She didn't know what to say, how to react. 

Gordon's eyebrows drew down in a frown, did she not like them? Had he been wrong? Be bold, be brave…He reached out a hand and cupped her chin gently, turning her back to face him. 

"Do you not like them?" 

She covered his hand with hers, managing a shaky smile. "No, I love them."

"Then what's the problem?" 

"We can't, we can't do this, not now." She gently pulled his hand away and set it aside. 

"Why not? Give me one good reason?" he refused to let go of her hand. "Just one. Tell me you don't want me and I'll back off."

"What about finding your father? The launch of the new Zero-X?" 

"That isn't a reason not to, that's a reason to take every chance we can and act on it. We don't know what we're going to find up there, if we will even find anything at all. If this and International Rescue itself has taught us anything, it's that life is too short and too unpredictable to waste opportunities by being cautious and scared. You have to grab your happiness with both hands."

"This could change things between us, and not for the better." 

"Or it could make it more amazing. Look at John, he took a leap of faith and I've never seen him happier. I want that, Penny, I want that with you."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small jewellery box, opening it to reveal a natural pearl, carved into the shape of a seashell, strung on a delicate gold chain. 

"What do you say Valentine? Will you be mine?" 

His handsome face was full of hope but also wariness, fear of rejection. Would it be so bad to risk her heart on one such as he? Gordon was a joker, he rarely ever took anything seriously, but here he was, the most sincere she'd ever seen him.

He was one of the good guys, he saved people, he didn't hurt them. He was worth taking a risk for.

"Tell me you don't want me," he whispered again, a plea for her to tell him the truth. She was powerless to resist. 

"I can't," she whispered back as she moved closer. 

His lips brushed hers in the softest of kisses, his mouth catching her little sigh of relief as his arms slid around her waist, pulling her closer. There was no one to interrupt them, no one to tell them no, no one but them. 

No matter what happened in the future, good or bad, they would always have this moment, they would have each other, and the world would have the pretty little fishes that floated outside their little sub of solitude. 

[desertangell]

End of the Year

I’m going to be sappy for a second because I’m definitely one of those people that takes this time of year to reflect upon all that has happened and how it all may affect the new year.

The beginning of 2019 was difficult. A lot happened that made me struggle with my mental health, but I also finally took the steps I needed to seek the help that would get me through the day. My 90 days as the ZooMobile Coordinator occurred on January 12th, and I spent that next weekend in Santa Monica. The fact that I live so close to California and the ocean still eludes me. January also included my decision to participate in my first aerial showcase at Vertical Fix. Little did I know how much it would mean to me.

February didn’t include anything major from what I can remember. I continued training as an aerialist, learning to love the trapeze, and I traveled to some fun places in Arizona, including Ajo, where they have a lot of beautiful murals to explore.

My first aerial performance was on March 22nd, and I had so many people show up to support me. I overcame my stage fright, fell in love with my makeup and costume, and I put everything I had into what I brought to the audience. It was magical. Of course, that meant I had to do it again in another few months!

March was also the month when I met April. We started talking via Instagram and met in Papago Park to take pictures of yoga poses. Needless to say, we became fast friends, and I couldn’t be more thankful to have her in my life.

The next month included seeing Cirque du Soleil’s AmaLuna and hanging out in Las Vegas with my sister, Lizzy, and two of her friends who also became my friends! We didn’t do anything too crazy, but it was an incredibly fun weekend and one I still look back on fondly.

May brought the end of my overnight travel season for ZooMobile. The season had come and gone, and my last couple of weeks were spent in Flagstaff. I also got my wisdom teeth out! Which wasn’t super fun but the process was fairly easy and didn’t end up in any issues afterwards. I also started rehearsals for my second student showcase at Vertical Fix! This time, I was set on doing a performance on sling, a squishy version of the trapeze.

In June, I went on my first long vacation since moving to Arizona. I went up to Wisconsin to stay with Lizzy and also got to spend a couple of days with my other sister, mom, and my grandma. We celebrated her 90th birthday! When Lizzy visited me over the holidays in 2018, she said she wanted to retire in Phoenix. When I was in Wisconsin, I said I would retire there.

July included so many great things, and I didn’t even know it at the time. I went to LA to visit Laura for her birthday, and we went to Disneyland. My first visit! She and I had decided that we were going to be roommates, so it was also a great opportunity to get to know each other better. Of course, she did take me to a boarded up mental hospital…at night. My second student showcase was on July 20th, and I completely loved becoming the Mad Hatter. April came to see me with her husband, and she was sold on being involved in the next one! I also decided to go on a date with someone named Tim on July 26th. We liked each other pretty quickly, and it continued on from there.

Once August started, it was time to begin my ZooMobile season again. I wouldn’t be doing any overnights just yet, but the summer had gone by fast. I did decide to begin volunteering as a Volunteer Keeper Assistant in our Equine Department, and I loved spending my Mondays with the horses!

My brother, Mario, turned 30 in September, so that meant I got to plan my first trip back home since moving to Phoenix. Right before his birthday, though, I spent time with Tim to celebrate his birthday. We went on a great hike in Prescott and had some pretty delicious food! He had also helped me move into my new apartment with Laura before my vacation. Vacation with my family meant a new tattoo, paying for my brother to get his first tattoo, and making tamales from scratch for the first time! I had only ever helped assemble them in the past. It felt like a rite of passage, and me and Lizzy did a really great job! All too fast, though, my vacation came to an end, and I went back to the Southwest.

October! One of my favorite months of the year. Tim and I went to Vegas together for a weekend. We had a great time, and he was definitely more of an adult than I was. We also said “I love you” for the first time, and I still feel lucky to have him in my life. In my new apartment, I adopted two cats from a friend, and I loved them immediately. Posey and Fester are my children now, and I get sad when I’m away from them for even just a few days.

Before I knew it, November was here. I attended the Vertical Fix showcase to see April and other friends perform, and it made me realize that I would have to try and be in the next one. Tim and I took our first long vacation together and spent a week in Park City, Utah. We did a lot of staying in the hotel, but it was so relaxing. One of the highlights, though, was getting to swim in hot springs that are in a crater! It was incredible. Tim and I also took part in a 5K Bubble Run. The bubbles were dyed to color our clothes, and we did more walking than running, but it was an accomplishment! At the end of November, I had gotten to celebrate Thanksgiving with Tim and his family and hosted a Friendsgiving for all of the amazing people I’ve met thus far while living in Arizona.

And now, it’s December. With less than one week until 2020, I can’t believe everything that has happened this year. For my birthday, my friend Alex hosted a birthday party with an Ugly Christmas Sweater theme, and I received my first aerial apparatus as a gift from Tim. On Christmas Day, I went with Tim to spend the day with his family. His parents and sisters had gotten me gifts as well, and I felt very special. The holidays may not be my favorite time of year anymore, but they are made exponentially better when they aren’t spent alone. I’ve created a home here, and my life is rich with the people I’ve met. There are difficult days, and I sometimes only want to stay in bed. I don’t know if I am working in the job I want to stay in forever, and I still miss having more trees and green grass surrounding me. But overall, 2019 has given me a lot. I can only hope 2020 has even more exciting plans in store.

[rallis-fatalis]

The River Over

There are many things that separate people in life. From the intangible such as differing views, ideals, and rules, to the physical mountains overhead or oceans at your feet, it seems there's always some force at work striving to force people away. However, sometimes those forces inadvertently bring people together to become the best of friends or mend breaking bonds. Maybe it's fate. Or maybe it's Rallis tired of being told what to do.

"You will not continue running away from me!"

"Leave me alone, bookman!"

Rallis hissed at the royal librarian, Reldo, chasing her as she stomped through the Varrock dig site. The workers and students gawked as the two crashed through the site. Anyone who stood in Rallis' way was met with a furious snarl. She was tired of seeing people and their annoying faces.

"Rallis, you are acting childish!" Reldo scolded, trying to catch up to her. They had gotten into one of their usual arguments but this time it grew heated and Rallis had stormed off in anger, librarian hot on her heels.

"First you call me beast, now you call me child!"

"No I said you were acting like those things, not that you are them!

"Same thing!"

Rallis cornered herself at the shore of the dig site, the students panning for gold tucking tail and fleeing at the sight of the furious dragon. Reldo was thankful she had nowhere else to go. Hopefully they could talk now.

"Rallis, I am sorry I offended you, but even you have to see how you were acting was inexcusable! Problems are solved with words, not fangs and claws! We have rules that have to be followed."

"Rules, rules, rules!" She stomped in the sand angrily. "I'm tired of rules! I'm tired of the way all you fan-see humans treat me! Thinking you're better! Looking at me like I'm bad! Everyone in that stupid city wants me gone, so I'll be gone! Now you leave me alone!"

Reldo thought she had nowhere else to run. There was nothing behind her but the River Salve after all! But no, he was wrong. She did indeed have somewhere to go. Without warning, Rallis sprinted and dove into the water, making her way to the land on the other side. Reldo was in shock. She was so quick he didn't have a chance to catch her. "You--! Rallis you get back here right now!"

She paid him no mind, continuing to swim across. She was an incredibly fast swimmer, he had to admit.

"Rallis, come back!" he tried again. "It's not safe across the river! Morytania is dangerous! It's full of murderous beasts!"

"Oh then I bet I fit right in!" she shouted back and blew him a raspberry.

"Now you are acting like a brat! You come back here this instant!"

She ignored him and swam on. She vanished into the murky fog of the swamp across the river without another word. Reldo buried his face into his hands with a frustrated sigh. "What am I supposed to do now?" He whined by the shore as he thought of how to get her to come back, and silently hoped she would toddle home before he had to do anything.

_______________________________________________________

The sky grew darker the closer Rallis swam toward land. She looked up to see the sun shrouded behind thick greenish black clouds and layers of some kind of smelly fog. She hopped onto the first bit of land she could find and looked back. She could hardly see a few feet across the river.

'Huh. It didn't feel like I swam far.'

She figured it was the effects of the perpetual fog and moved on.

The new world Rallis found herself in was dark, green, and stinky. She gagged and covered her nose as an abrasive noxious smell clouded around her. Before her lay rotting trees, sticky weeds, pools of bubbling green ooze, and really really big snails. She couldn't remember ever setting foot in one, but something nagged in the back of her mind and produced the word 'swamp.' The earth beneath her feet was soft and squishy and Rallis giggled a she sank her toes into the soggy ground and pulled moss and weeds away with her claws. It was certainly fun to squish into. She ran off eager to explore, following the river north.

The gross stink of the swamp began to fade the farther north she went. She eventually reached a gate guarded by a terrified gatekeeper, a white haired man in plain brown robes. Rallis strode through with a smile and said hello. The gatekeeper jumped back with a yelp and rubbed his eyes.

"I must be seeing things!" he exclaimed. "It must be the swamp gas! Monsters like that don't live out there!" He rubbed his eyes once more and blinked to find Rallis still present and smiling. "Are you not an illusion?"

"That means something you can see but is fake, right?" she thought back to Reldo's vocabulary teaching. At the remembrance of the librarian, she hissed, angry to forget she was supposed to be mad at him for a moment. "No, I am not a fake sight! I am real! My name is Rallis and it's nice to meet you!"

He was shaking at her introduction, as if unsure she was someone to be trusted. He seemed a rather easily frightened individual. "What is the nature of your kind, monster?" he said as he shakily gripped his sickle. "Are you friend? Foe?"

Rallis scowled at the way he spoke. It was rather annoying and reminded her of what she was trying to run away from. "Friend, I guess? I'm just exploring. This is my first time in More-Eat... Moree...? Whatever this place is."

"Morytania," he corrected with a sigh of relief. "You must be from across the river then if this is your first time here." Rallis nodded. "Why anyone would willingly come here is beyond me, but welcome. This place is full of nothing but death and monsters. I'd watch your step if you're keen to 'explore.'"

"Well you called me a monster too so I'm sure I'll be fine. You don't happen to have a map or something, do you? I don't know where anything is."

"I do not but the nearest town is a short walk to the east. It is called Canifis. I'm sure you can find something like that there. Just be careful! Werewolves call the place home and they are brutally vicious!"

"Perfect! Thank you for the directions, Mister Gatekeeper!" She skipped toward the town with a giggle of excitement, completely unworried about his warning.

Canifis confused and wowed Rallis the moment she set foot into the town. She didn't know what a werewolf was, but she pictured some kind of wolf. Instead there was nothing but humans that smelled like dogs. Perhaps that was what werewolf meant? The conflicting sights and smells confused her, but the small town was otherwise very cool. There were many shops of interest, including a bar half the town seemed to call home for the day. Rallis was almost tempted to join them they seemed so happy, their howls of laughter bouncing all throughout the town. One shop Rallis poked her head into had stuffed creature heads mounted on the walls and skinned pelts on the floor as rugs. She paled and left immediately. There was a great deal of ruckus coming from the rooftops as a trio of children straddled long wooden sticks atop one of the roofs and tried leaping to the next rooftop nearby. The sticks floated for a while with magic, like a witch on a broom. Rallis clapped and cheered at the display, and the three bowed as they floated down to their next rooftop, giving each other high fives as they nailed the landing. An adult stomped out of their store to yell at them for causing a racket and the three ran off laughing. Rallis smiled. She already liked this place.

Asking around the town for a map netted her one. It was crude and torn and even a bit soggy, but it was better than nothing. The residents were even kind enough to offer her food, but she was done with the days of eating meat raw, and thus politely declined. Not a single person was scared or made fun of her appearance, most just eyeing her curiously as if they had never seen a dragon before. Considering how the humans across the river would scream or ready for a fight at the sight of her, this place was a nice change. Map in hand, Rallis happily pranced around the dark soggy wasteland to see everything she could.

The sky never seemed to grow darker or lighter here and so Rallis couldn't tell how long her adventure had been going on for. But with the excitement of all the new sights, she quickly stopped caring about the time. She passed a scary dark castle not far from the town, and followed the road to a farm that housed undead chickens and cows. She may have liked to eat chicken but even she wasn't going to ask for a bite of one of those. They were green and rotting and even a bit oozy. She came across some kind of glowing icon by the eastern coast. It was housed in its own building like some holy figure, but she couldn't ask for information. The place was run by ghosts and she didn't have her amulet to speak with them.

As Rallis skirted a town of ghosts she wasn't allowed in to, the road continued again. She was starting to get a bit tired from all the walking, repeated shooing away of the local fauna tiring her out as well, and as if the world could read her mind, a tavern came into view beside the road. Rallis wasn't one for drinking but a place to sit down away from all the aggressive leeches and other such beasts for a minute would be nice.

The tavern was a quaint cute place called the Ruby Harvest. Its sign was painted black and red and had a beautiful red butterfly carving after the name. Against the never-ending groggy green, the flash of red was a bright and welcome sight. Rallis walked in and looked around. It was simple inside, wooden tables to eat at and stools by a bar counter. Little red wooden butterflies fluttered on the wood and stone walls, scarce enough to be tasteful and not overbearing. It was rather dark inside, the occasional lantern hanging from the ceiling to light the way. There weren't many customers, just a pair of pale creatures that looked human but didn't smell it, and this time they didn't smell like dogs. Their red eyes glared at Rallis, making her wish she could shrink away into nothingness to avoid them. A woman of similar pale skin and red eyes stood behind a wooden counter, wiping it down. Her hair was just as bright red as her eyes and was tied back in a long ponytail that moved back and forth as she worked. She had on a white apron with many pouches and a few stains from the day's work. She finished her task and wrung the rag out and tucked it away.

"Welcome to the Ruby Harvest, foreigner."

She spoke well and had an air of formality despite being a waitress.

"I speak well for my position because of where I hail," the woman behind the counter told Rallis. "I am also not a waitress, I'm the owner. And no, I am not a mind reader."

"Whoa, are you a--? WHOA!!!" Rallis excitedly bounced over to the bar and hopped onto a stool in front of the woman. "You know what I'm thinking or gonna say before I do! That's so cool! Are you magic then?"

"Nothing of the sort. I've simply been around long enough to read people, foreign, human, or otherwise. What brings a foreigner to my humble restaurant?"

Rallis smirked. "Wanna guess?"

The woman thought for a moment. "Hmm... Running away from something, I believe. You needed some time to yourself and came here. You must have been desperate if Morytania is where you would flee to."

Rallis stopped bouncing on her stool and melted onto the counter. "Wow you are good."

The two customers grumbled and hissed at the noise Rallis was making as they stalked out of the bar. The owner looked like she wanted to hiss back. Instead she turned around and began to clean some dirty cups. "Do you not like them, Miss Red Lady?"

"Not particularly. All they ever do is loiter. Never once have they deigned to pay for my space and services. And my name is Elvira Grimro, but please just call me Grimro."

"Grimro... Nice to meet you! I'm Rallis!"

"Is there anything I can get you, Rallis? Wandering through Morytania is a tiring endeavor. I'm sure you must be hungry."

Rallis' tail wagged, making her wobble on the stool. "I would love something! What do you think is best?"

"Well, I pride myself in my fish dishes." Grimro glowed with a smile. "I would even dare say they are the best in the region. Though I suppose it isn't much of a competition around here..."

Rallis smiled. "I love fish! That sounds good! Sir-prize me! As long as it's not an eel."

Grimro nodded and headed off to what Rallis presumed was the kitchen, leaving the dragon to her devices. While she waited, she drew the route she had walked so far on her crude map and even drew in things she had seen along the way. She had grown so caught up in her drawings she hadn't noticed Grimro come out with food until the plate was in front of her nose. It was a grilled bass with lots of herbs and a lemon slice. The smell had her drooling in her lap.

"Whoa, that was fast!" Rallis pushed her tools aside and dug in.

"The singular joy of having a slow day." Grimro noticed the childish map and studied it. "I'm sure it wasn't as short a time as you were thinking. You seem to have been occupied by something, making it seem as such. I take it this is all you've explored?"

Rallis gave her a muffled yes, mouth full of food. "Oh my god this is so good. My compul... com-plum... The chef is good."

Grimro hid a smile. "The chef accepts your compliments. Always glad to see someone enjoy my cooking."

"You made it?! It is very good! So you do everything here? Are you alone?"

Grimro slid a glass of water Rallis' way, right before the dragon was about to ask for some. "I am. This was my venture and mine alone. This place used to be an abandoned hovel and I turned it into this. No one wished to join me, thinking it a pointless waste of time, and most around here don't like my kind anyway, even my own. No one would wish to join me and I'm perfectly content that way."

"Your kind?" Rallis questioned. "Aren't you human? Everyone seems to like humans."

Grimro eyed her curiously. "I used to be. I'm a vampyre now."

Rallis took another bite of the food. "What's a vampyre?"

Grimro stared at her, eyes wide. Was she playing some kind of joke? Even foreigners visiting Morytania knew what vampyres were and how to identify and stay away from them. Most people even walked around with Saradominist symbols or garlic in their pockets. Rallis began to wonder why she went so quiet.

"My apologies, the silence was rude of me. I've simply never met someone so... well, ill-informed as you. Vampyres rule this land as kings and queens do the river over. Most of them are foul heathens that cause needless suffering." She hissed and Rallis could see fangs, though they certainly weren't as long as her own.

"What makes them different from humans? You look like a human."

"There is quite a bit. We can not eat food or be near certain objects, the sun hurts quite a bit, and most of us do not age. Some of us can turn into other creatures as well. Most vampyres look human because they once were, like myself. Honestly, I'm still quite shocked you never heard of them before crossing the river."

Rallis shrugged. "No one really talks about this place in Varrock. All I hear is it's bad and full of monsters and it used to be good, or something. I think it's pretty cool here myself!"

Grimro snorted. "'Cool.' I think you mean cruel. I would kill to leave this place. Any of us would."

"Why don't you?"

"The river traps us here. It has been blessed and we can not cross it. If we try to, we'll die. And as you can see..." Grimro placed Rallis' empty plate behind the counter to be cleaned and brought the rough map over. "The river surrounds us on all crossable sides. Where the river is not, the sea is, and unfortunately I can not cross a sea either. This place has been my prison for countless years. I simply made my jail cell more tolerable."

"It's a prison across the river too," Rallis grumbled with a pout.

"Is that why you ran off?"

"Yeah... Over there, it feels like prison. All I get to do is stay put and get told everything I do wrong until humans tell me I'm good and take me somewhere else to do the same thing. All I do is listen to humans, do chores for humans, get yelled at by humans, get shut in rooms by humans, get in trouble because of humans. I hate it."

"It's not much different over here, though here if you do not listen, you die."

Rallis' ears drooped. "That's not good. They do that across the river too but only if you're really bad. Like killing good people bad. Or if you do something called tree-sun, I think. I still hate it though. Everyone across the river calls me a monster and sure enough the first human I met here called me the same thing! Sometimes I wish I never met humans and all their stupid rules and mean words."

"You're angry their ways do not allow you to be yourself, is that it?"

Rallis was startled at how dead-on she was. "Are you sure you don't read minds?"

"Vampyre mind reading is a false superstition," Grimro waved off. "Like I said, I'm simply good at reading people. Why don't you tell me what's so terrible about their rules? It seems you need to."

"I just don't like how everyone has to listen to some stuff old men in a castle decided was right, and how if you don't you get in trouble. I got tired of being yelled at for not listening, and I think I was right!" Rallis slammed her hand on the counter at that. "I got yelled at for helping someone! Because the way I did it was against the rules! I saw some man hurting a girl and making her cry and beating her so I stopped him. I bit his hand off so he couldn't punch her again, and then when he tried to cut me with a knife, I fought back. Defending myself! Defending the girl! But because she was his daughter and I almost killed him, I'm the one who gets in trouble!" She growled. "All those humans' stupid faces looking down at me like an evil beast, telling me I was bad and wrong and calling me a monster, saying I shouldn't get into family problems like that, calling me a...a savage! I had enough and ran."

"That does sound rough," Grimro sympathized. "It was a good thing to help the poor girl, but even you must realize there were better ways to handle the situation. Disarming or restraining him, for example. I have no doubt you believe what you did was right, and for the most part you were, but perhaps think the consequences through. And even though the incident has now passed, an apology and earnest explanation never hurts. It seems you have someone you need to make amends with."

Rallis pouted. "I guess... Where I'm from, we kill those who do such bad things. They should be happy I didn't do that this time. I just wish they'd see I tried to do something good. Even you did and you're a stranger! I just get so tired of everyone treating me like an animal and looking at me all scared and angry when I try to be good. I guess I could say sorry... You're right, I do have someone I'm angry with and don't wanna be." Rallis then began to blush in embarrassment. "Oh I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to dump my issues on you! That was rude."

"I don't mind, and you're certainly not the first to do so. Many come in here for food and stay for the therapy. My customers say I'm easy to open up and talk to."

"You do seem like you have lots of answers. You'd probably be fine over there. You seem smart and you don't look as scary as me. No one would yell at you like they do to me."

"If anyone learned of my origin, they would do a lot more than yell. I'm sure they would stake me on the spot," Grimro huffed. "But it's still preferable to being trapped here all my life. To travel and be free to do as I wish, I would accept all the risks across the river if it meant my freedom."

"Humans would really try to kill you?" Rallis whined. "But you don't seem bad."

"That's just how they are, and I can't blame them. My kind has done terrible things. I hope one day they change for the better, but I do not feel I am the one to cause such change. For now I remain trapped here and at the very least strive to make other people's lives a bit more safe and comfortable."

"I say you're doing a very good job at that!" Ready to pay, Rallis pulled out a rough pouch and began to dump the contents on the counter. There were some platinum tokens, gold pieces, and many runes. "Sorry I keep everything small in the same pouch. I really need to get a money pouch." She sorted the money from the runes and pushed the coin Grimro's way.

Grimro took a great interest in the runes. She had seen some before but in Morytania they were quite rare. The ones with what looked like a blue scale on them piqued her interest. She had never seen one like that before. It burned slightly when she touched it, thankfully not enough to leave a mark.

Rallis noticed her eyeing the runes. "You never seen a rune before?"

"I have, just not all the ones you have here. You can't easily get runes in Morytania. And magic seems to be a lost art here. At most, you will find vampyres using haemalchemy, blood magic and science. Even I know a bit of blood magic." She picked up the blue rune carefully. "What is this one?"

"That's a law rune. They're used for teleporting. Reldo always makes sure I have at least one teleport back to Varrock in case I get lost."

"So you mean this little stone could let you appear across the river in a moment?"

"As long as I also have these, yeah." She fished out some fire and air runes. "It's funny these are so new to you! I saw kids in Canifis using magic. Were they not using runes?"

"Likely not. Those learning magic there do so in a much different way. I suppose they hope to fly across the river on a broomstick. It won't work though." Grimro marveled at the runes. "But these might."

"Oh true! You could leave with these! You can have some then. I have enough to get home."

"You should really be more cautious about who you give these to over here," she warned, but took the runes nonetheless. "Most of us here are monsters who wish humanity's downfall."

"Do you?" Rallis asked innocently.

"No. I've nothing much personal against humans. I just want to leave."

Rallis believed her and decided on the only acceptable course of action. "Then I'll teach you how to leave!" she cheered. "If you can't cross the river though make sure you have a way back here just in case. I can give you as many runes as you want later so you can always leave again."

"Thank you, sincerely." She smiled and looked around her restaurant. "Perhaps I can find recipes over there and bring them back. I have always wanted to make this place a haven in this wasteland, and now I can. How wonderful it would be. I may not be able to give those trapped here freedom, but perhaps I can at least give them a taste of it."

"Yeah! You can try all kinds of food and bring it back!"

"Ah, actually I can't actually eat. Vampyres live off blood, not food. That's usually how my customers pay me as they have no money. I'll have to have someone else try my cooking."

"You eat blood?!" Rallis stuck out her tongue. "Gross! You're not gonna take mine, are you?"

Grimro chuckled. "No, you've more than paid your dues. And I only take if the customer allows it, unlike the others. Besides, your blood smells wrong. I'm sure I'd be sick, no offense."

Rallis didn't take it to heart. "Alright, since you've never done this before, I'll teach you. In order to teleport somewhere with runes, you have to have the correct type and know where you're going. You don't know where you're going." She flipped over her badly drawn map and began to draw Varrock square. "This is where you need to think of. It's a market with lots of shops and a pretty fountain in the middle." She drew every last stall and store and even the statues by the fountain. It all looked like a child's drawing with its scribbled nature and incorrect proportions. The dragon even rambled on with some stories about the place, describing everything in great detail. Those helped the vampyre paint a better picture than just the cartoonish drawings. Grimro hoped it was enough to visualize her destination.

"Just close your eyes and think where you wanna go and poof! You're there! Make sure you have everything you wanna take with you first!"

Grimro sprinted through a door behind the counter and Rallis could hear her run upstairs and rummage around. The vampyre certainly was eager to leave. In moments, she came back down with a pack of essentials including a way back to the restaurant that didn't require crossing the Salve.

"Ready?" Rallis asked, bouncing excitedly.

"More than."

"Then let's go!" Rallis cheered and held up her hand and the runes crumbled to dust. She was gone in a second. Grimro closed her eyes and tried to picture Varrock.

'Fountain, stalls, castle walls, statues, stray dogs...'

It was certainly hard imagining a place she had never been to before, but she tried with all her might. She could feel the runes crumble in her hand as she felt like she was thrown through the air though her body stayed put. A whirlwind of colors greeted her as she opened her eyes, swirling in a neon rainbow. Just as suddenly as the colors came, they vanished, replaced by the shadow of night. She was kneeling on stone, the sound of trickling water breaking the still silence of the quiet night.

"Oh wow it's late. I was gone for a while."

Grimro jolted up and nearly bumped into Rallis. The dragon smiled. "Welcome to Varrock."

The vampyre looked around in wonder, taking in every stone, every tree, everything from the dirt in the cracks between the stones to the glowing moon and wisps of clouds in the sky. It was all so immediately different. It didn't smell like death and swamp gas, there was no feeling of evil eyes staring at her from above, the floor wasn't stained with blood, and the sky was beautiful and clear. Being able to see all the stars in the sky and breathe in something other than the smell of death and decay was so simple yet so overwhelming.

While Grimro took everything in, Rallis nicked a paper from one of the stands and handed it over. "There's a map on here," she explained. "It only shows a little bit in every direction but it should at least help you decide where to go." She handed over a fistful of runes as well. "And these should get you back here a few times if you get lost. If you ever need more, plenty of shops sell runes."

The vampyre was still at a loss for words, barely able to mutter a thank you.

"Where you gonna go now?" Rallis asked as she rocked on her heels.

That seemed to give Grimro the ability to think and speak again. "I'm not sure. I suppose I just want to explore for now, see what catches my eye." She looked to the map. "Morytania is east of here, is it? Then I'll be heading west, as far away as I can get."

"Oooo good idea! And if you go super west, there's a fishing town called Catherby. I bet you can find tons of fish recipes there to try!"

"That sounds like a plan. Thank you for your help, Rallis. You've given me freedom at last. May you also find yours."

Rallis couldn't help herself. She hugged the vampyre tight. Not used to such interaction, the woman simply stood still and let the dragon do as she wished. "You're pretty great! I hope you have fun here. You better let me know when you go back to your restaurant! I wanna say hi again and hear about everything you did!"

"Alright," she smiled. "I'll be sure to have something new for you to try as well."

After some final goodbye wishes and luck, Grimro ran off, hoping to get on the road before any humans or the sun could stop her. Rallis was glad she made a new friend. She really liked Grimro even though she only knew her for a few hours. There was just something about her that made her happy and feel like she could trust her. And perhaps she wanted to find good in something humanity considered a monster, just as she knew she was good too despite humanity seeing her as a dragon willing to kill and only pretending to be tame. She slunk back into the royal library, hoping to hide under a desk and sleep. Unfortunately someone was camped out at said desk. Reldo was hunched over in his seat, a glass in his hand, a bottle on the table, and glasses slipping off his face. Rallis quietly came closer.

"That doesn't smell like tea."

"It's not." Reldo took a sip from his glass and set it down. "Needed something a bit stronger after today. Welcome back." He sounded grumpy and tired. His face was a little red too. "I almost expected you to be gone longer."

"I can leave again if you want."

"You know that's not what I meant, Rallis." He sighed deeply. "What a day... At least you look safe."

"Morytania was fine. Not dangerous. The monsters were nice to me and I even made a new friend. They didn't look at me like I was evil like everyone does here."

The librarian was ashamed at himself for being part of that everyone. He looked away for all of a minute when they were out for a walk some days ago, and once he turned around he found the dragon with her claws sunk into some stranger as she gnawed his hand off. That kind of violence wasn't something he was exactly used to, especially not from someone he knew. All the blood and screaming, it was feral and terrifying. She was feral and terrifying. Even still, he knew she was doing what she thought was right. But that still didn't save either of them, primarily him, from the bureaucratic headache that followed. It had been such a challenge to convince the King she hadn't gone mad and decided to kill everyone, and now a good few days later he was still getting his ear yelled off for the incident. It was frustrating to say the least. Though if he was honest, he was more frustrated at himself for slipping into the mindset everyone around him was starting to have since that day, thinking of her as just another monster that was simply trying to lower people's guards by walking and talking like them, only to kill them when they began to trust her. He knew she wasn't and he was mad he had ever thought such a thing.

"I know you're not evil, nor are you a monster. I'm sorry for treating you like one lately."

Rallis slid over and sat on the floor next to him, resting her head in his lap. "I'm sorry too. I'll try to be better. And I shouldn't have run off. What did you call it? Being a brat?"

Reldo snorted and pat her head. "Yes, a brat. I suppose everyone has been lately. Just promise me next time something like that happens, you'll think before you act. It'll save us both a headache." She may have been tired of the librarian yelling at her, but he was tired of the King himself yelling at him.

"Okay, I promise. I'll even do all the work tomorrow, no complains."

"Complaining," he corrected. "That sounds wonderful. If you still want to sleep under the desk, I'll leave in a moment." He tried to fill his glass again. "I just need some more of this before tomorrow starts."

Rallis stopped him before he could drink the rest of the bottle. "That's not good, bookman. Can't teach if you drink and wake up sick."

"I suppose you're right," he grumbled. "'Til tomorrow then. You do all your work and tell me how your adventure across the river was. I'd love to hear about this miraculous friend you managed to make in Morytania of all the cursed places. Afterward maybe we can even go out, get away from the city. How does that sound?"

"Very good!" Rallis chirped.

Rallis moved so he could leave and curled up under the desk. After the day's adventures, she was quite exhausted. She drifted off to sleep with a yawn, glad things were better with an old friend and happy with making a new one. Hopefully she wouldn't have to swim across a river and wander a swamp to find the advice she needed to mend a relationship again.

[deaksandgeeks]

tag game

i was tagged by @brianmay-be so thank you so much! xoxox

Rules: Answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to get to know better

1. Nickname: Jules, Tommy (in highschool) and my parents and sister call me Boogies, from when I was a baby and my older brother (then 2) sang me a song to get me to stop crying. It’s actually a super sweet story, but the nickname itself is horrible and nobody gets to use it except my famjam. 

2. Sign: Gemini on the cusp of Taurus. 

3. What I’m wearing: Um, just my undies and my ridiculously short housecoat cause i like to look slutty when I’m lounging at home.

4. Dream job: I have way too many interests to really pin down a career?? Which is why I’m still serving. But I’m thinking maybe accounting would be a good fit for me, because I love numbers?

5. Favorite quote: "Perfect eloquence is, I think, almost always mute.” Stephen King, Hearts in Atlantis

6. Favorite food: Oh man, probably smoked salmon or salmon sashimi or pasta

7. Favorite movie: The Princess Bride

8. Favorite sport: I love to swim and was really good at it (still kind of am), but to watch? Probably hockey or curling

9. Dream trip: Honestly, I would go back to Spain or Italy to see more of either. 

10. Languages: English is my first language, but I’m close to fluent in French, I used to speak more Italian, but I’ve lost a lot of it (can still read a bit of it, though) and I know enough Spanish to get around. I can also speak two (2) sentences in Norwegian. :D

11. Favorite song: Well, honestly I’d have to say La Noyée by Yann Tiersen, but I’m also fiending Juice by Lizzo rn, and also can’t stop listening to Dragon Attack no matter how hard I try. 

12. Favorite book: Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine (the movie is horrible, don’t watch it)

13. What do I hate: Rude people, raspberries vacuuming

14. Random fact: I keep ribbons and bows off of anything and tie them to doors, doorknobs, lamps... all sorts of stuff around my bedroom. I have several random bows in my room.

15. Describe yourself in aesthetic things: coffee by a windowsill when it’s raining, bare trees and the ground covered in leaves, circle skirts and ballerina flats, glitter nail polish, smudged mascara, butter yellow and powder blue, jack-o-lanterns flickering in the night, gibbous moon

16. Do I get asks: I do not get asks on here or my main because I am super unpopular! Whee!

17. Other blogs: My main is @spandexpride and it is just a tidal wave of random garbage.

18. Hogwarts house: I am incredibly proud to be a Hufflepuff!!

19. Patronus: I’m pretty sure it’d be a raccoon: Squishy little trash-eater, who appears mostly non-threatening, but can and will fuck your shit up if the situation calls for it. 

20. Favorite characters: Inigo Montoya, Sam Winchester (although the writers do him dirty CONSTANTLY), Sailor Jupiter, Meg from Hercules, Professor McGonagall and STEVE ROGERS. 

21. Any updates on a new fic: I’ve been working on a slow-burn bastard for a while now, but haven’t posted anything. I lost my motivation for a bit and don’t want to leave it unfinished, but also don’t want to post anything until I have a better plan for it. Except that it’s already at 30k so. Dunno how long it’s gonna end up being. I’ve only ever posted one one-shot, so I’m still super-duper nervous about it.

Ok ok, so I don’t know who to tag?? I guess @withhertopdown @weaselpwnage @loki-lover095 if you guys haven’t done it already, and obviously anyone who wants to do it!

[renwritesstuff]

bird's opening

A collaboration fic/art story with the lovely @fishbone76​

It started as just a friendly game of chess between the Normandy’s two resident geniuses. But then their significant others got involved and almost ruined it.

Also on AO3. Approximately 3,487 words.

Hand at her chin, Samantha Traynor studied the chess board in front of her. The glowing interface was looking a bit blurry around the edges, her mind swimming as she gave a few long blinks. Sam’s spot at the Skyllian Five table in the Port Observation Deck was surrounded by a collection of empty liquor bottles, her other hand gripping a half-consumed cocktail.

Her opponent purred from across the green-topped table. “Are you sweating, Specialist Traynor?” Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy drummed a pair of fingers impatiently.

“Not at all,” Sam retorted as she reached forward to nudge a pawn. “Just trying to decide if I want to win this in 10 moves… or 15 to give you a little boost of confidence.” Her smile was lazy and—admittedly—a bit drunk.

“Big talk,” the quarian slurred, her inflection a little lower than normal. “Considering you said this was ‘in the bag’ four moves ago. What does that even mean?”

Well, right now it actually means “drunk.”

“It’s just a silly idiom that—forget it. Your go, Admiral.”

There was a dull tapping sound on Sam’s right that she ignored with another sip of her drink.

Tali’s white eyes flicked over to the side before returning to the chess board. “Should we let them back in?”

“Absolutely not,” Samantha said with an emphatic shake of her head.

The quarian gave an apologetic shrug at the glass panels that made up the entrance to the small poker cubby of the recreation room.

A muffled “Oh come on!” could be heard from the other side of the glass.

Hovering there, faces pressed up against the locked doors, was Commander Jane Shepard and (General?) Garrus Vakarian. Also perched on Jane’s shoulder was her hamster, Lil’ Dude. All three looked positively pathetic standing around unable to enter.

Garrus scratched a digit against the glass again for another pleading tap. He lowered the rumble in his voice. “…come on… We’ll behave. It was just a little friendly wager between significant others.”

He nudged an elbow at Shepard, who nodded in agreement. “Sure. Yes. Friendly. We were just really excited over how friendly we all are.” She gritted her teeth in a grin. “…and how much you’re going to win, Sam!” Her palm slapped drunkenly on the wall in encouragement.

“Hey!” Garrus squawked back in outrage. A heated argument started (continued, rather) just on the other side of the glass.

“I was so close, Shepard! Then you had to open your big, fleshy mouth!”

No you weren’t even close, Garrus.

“You’re the one who got us kicked out in the first place! Because, and I quote, ‘Tali is gonna wipe the floor with that squishy Comms nerd.’”

“Well she is! All humans are squishy! …except you, of course.”

…I mean, he’s not wrong but it still hurts…

“Is not! Did you see Samantha at that Kepesh Yakshi tournament? No! You were dicking around in the arena. She was incredible!” Shepard gushed as she waved a threatening fist at Garrus.

Oh, thank you, darling. I knew I kept you around for a reason, Sam inwardly smirked as she sipped her drink.

The two chess players shot each other a withering look and rolled their eyes in sync.

…Earlier that same day…

Samantha had laid a kiss on Jane’s cheek as she finished zipping up her uniform. “Don’t wait up, Shepard.”

Shepard looked up from where she was playing with her hamster on her desk. “Unh? Where are you off to?” Lil’ Dude sniffed the air in Sam’s direction with a curious head-tilt.

“Oh, just a little chess game,” Sam said airily. She waved the holo disc in her hand for good measure.

“You’re cheating on me?” Jane asked, eyebrows arching and lips pursing in mock-offense.

Sighing, Sam dropped her shoulders. “There’s no tactful way to say this but: you’re rubbish at chess. A quick learner? Absolutely. But still rubbish.” Waving the holo disc again, Sam gave Shepard a reproachful stare. “I just wanted to have a few drinks and play a few rounds with an opponent who promised a challenge. Your pawns can resume toiling under my regime tomorrow, darling.”

The hamster in Shepard’s hands gave a few squeaks. Jane nodded. “I agree, buddy. That still counts as cheating. …Who is he? Or she? Or they?”

“She,” Samantha confirmed, “…is a fellow brilliant tactician in need of some girl talk. And to cut loose a little. She spends way too much time in the drive core.”

Donnelly and Daniels are starting to think she lives in there.

“Ohhhh,” Shepard intoned with a nod. “Tali. Well, don’t get hammered or anything. She’s gotta liaise with the quarian fleet in the morning. And she really can’t hold her liquor.” She kissed Sam’s cheek back and returned to her hamster, who had resumed stuffing his cheeks with food pellets.

“I promise I’ll return the Admiral to you in one piece,” Sam promised as she strolled out of the cabin.

I can’t promise the same for her ego. Because I am going to destroy—

—whoa whoa whoaaaa. Calm down, Traynor.

Inhaling a few breaths through her nose, Sam centered herself as she tapped the call button for the elevator. The familiar tingle of excitement ran down Sam’s spine: the thrill of competition. Of battle. Of potential victory.

She met Tali in the Port Observation Deck with a polite handshake. Sam took up behind the bar to make them some drinks, her mental catalogue of cocktails decently adaptable to dextro-compatible liquors.

Within a few minutes, she had assembled a dextro-equivalent drink to a Long Island Iced Tea for Tali and a Seaside Sunrise for herself.

“It feels like forever since I had a night off,” Tali remarked as she fumbled with inserting a straw through her mask port.

“I know the feeling,” Sam concurred. “Seems like it’ll just fall apart if you’re not there keeping an eye on things, hm?” She clinked her glass against Tali’s in polite toast.

“Oh Kee'lah, tell me about it. If it’s not the fleet, it’s all the fine-tuning the stealth drive needs to stay ahead of the Reaper suites. Or Garrus wanting…” Tali trailed off, her eyes dimming in what Samantha assumed was a blush.

“Oh, right,” Sam chimed in knowingly with a wicked smile. “You and Garrus. How is that going, by the way?”

A rumbling voice interrupted just behind them along with the sound of doors swishing open. “How's what going?” Garrus asked, his mandibles twitching in a grin. The turian was dressed casually for a change, a blue and gold-trimmed suit hugging the hard lines of his carapace.

“Nothing, you bosh'tet,” Tali quipped back amiably. “Don’t you have a big gun to calibrate?” She checked her Omni-tool before tilting her head sarcastically at Sam. “I mean, it’s probably been 30 seconds since it was last calibrated.”

Sam chuckled. “Possibly even 40. I don’t know what we’re going to do.”

Garrus scowled and crossed his arms. “You’re one to talk. You fuss over the drive core like you birthed it yourself.”

“We both have our favorite children,” Tali purred with a smirk. She clinked her glass against Sam’s once more.

The Comms Specialist breathed a mock-irritated sigh. “Please, please. You're both pretty.“ …Tali is prettier… “…By which I mean: pretty good at your jobs.”

Both aliens made scoffing-exhale noises at the same time.

Sam gestured over her shoulder to the empty room across from the Port Observation bar. A green-topped poker table took up most of the glass-enclosed space. She drummed her fingers on the chess holo disc in front of her at the counter. “Shall we, madam?”

“We shall!” Tali chirped back as she slid off the barstool and sauntered her way over to the table. She settled into one seat with Sam following close behind. Garrus remained at the bar, the lanky figure scratching a finger on his chin while he perused the collection of liquors.

The pair assembled at the table and logged in to the glowing interface, a familiar eight-by-eight grid populating with pieces.

“Do I need to give you a refresher on the rules?” Sam asked, her eyes twinkling in challenge.

“Please,” Tali said with an eye-roll. “This is a children’s game on the flotilla. Along with some number game that the volus play. I forget what it’s called.”

Hmph. “Children’s game.”

I will destroy you, Vas Normandy.

Studying the board layout, Sam sighed in pleasure at the cool familiarity of her favorite game. “What about Kepesh Yakshi?” She offered.

A sputtering noise through Tali’s straw followed a cynical squint of the woman’s eyes. “That holo game the asari are obsessed with? It must be nice to have so little to contribute to your people that you can play a game for a living.”

Nevermind. You have redeemed yourself. You’re all right, Tali'Zorah.

A deep laugh rumbled in Samantha’s belly as T'Suza’s defeated face flashed in her mind.

…T'Suza…

Sam nodded in agreement. “It’s an interesting game, I’ll give the asari that. But yes, some of us have little things like military service to do while saving the galaxy.”

“Hear hear,” Tali cheered with a slurp of her drink.

The game started off well enough. Tali was an aggressive opponent with surgical precision for picking off Sam’s pieces. It was exciting, actually. The quarian had a quick, adaptive mind and was keen on heading off some of Samantha’s best strategies while offering some interesting twists of her own.

Meanwhile, Garrus was rather useless milling around in the background. Apparently, he had taken the “you calibrate too much” jibe a little personally because the turian refused to leave the Port Observation Deck. He took up post at the bar for a little while, sampling liquors and making mixtures of his own until he found something he liked. Then he lounged at the low couch, absently thumbing through a datapad while throwing surreptitious glances over at Samantha and Tali while they played.

Eventually, the turian groaned in boredom and ambled up to look over their shoulders.

It was a tense final showdown. Tali had the better coverage but Sam had made an aggressive push into her territory with the white King on the run.

“Checkmate,” Sam announced with her last move. Ironically, a pair of black pawns managed to pin down the King in a corner.

The quarian swore a “bosh'tet” under her breath as she slapped a hand on the table. White eyes flicked up to Sam with a warm glow. She made a measuring motion with her thumb and forefinger. “I was this close. One more move and you would have been at my mercy.”

Chuckling, Sam attempted a sip of her drink but only ice rattled in the empty glass. “Oh I saw that. Well done, by the way. Really kept me on my toes. I took a huge gamble and lucked out, frankly.”

…I wish I was being kind. She very nearly kicked my arse.

“Did you lose?” Garrus rumbled next to Tali, his mandibles flaring.

The quarian’s head tilted in offense, her eyes narrowing to slits. “Yes! It happens!” She glanced over to Sam and jostled her own empty drink. “Shall we make this more interesting with the next game?”

Sam grinned back and stood up. “I like the way you think, Zorah.”

A game within a game was proposed. Mainly involving drinking (a lot of drinking). Garrus volunteered to bartend, though he gave his girlfriend a shoulder-rub along with a peptalk.

“We gotta show these levos who’s boss, Tali. The fate of turians and quarians everywhere hangs in the balance.”

“You mean, beyond the whole Reaper thing currently holding our fate in the balance?” The quarian’s voice trilled with dry sarcasm.

“Sure sure,” Garrus said with a dismissive hand-wave. “That’s really bad. But this! Tali! A chance to show the galaxy what we’re made of!” His grin was lazy under waggling eyebrow plates.

An explosive sigh before Tali’s voice vibrated with amusement. “I'm pretty sure we already did that. At the Citadel. Four years ago. And a year ago. At the Collector Base. And right now. …But sure, Garrus. This chess game will finally solve, once and for all, that dextros are the best.” She shot Sam a head-shake and a wink.

If I wasn’t already taken, I might be in love.

Sam took the time to direct message Jane regarding this development.

[ says: “I’m feeling left out. Tali has her own cheerleading squad while I just have a liquor cabinet. Care to join me and keep Garrus at bay, darling? Because apparently this is now the battle to end all battles between levo and dextro DNA species”]

There was no response. 45 seconds later, Commander Jane Shepard strolled through those swishing doors. She stood in the middle of the room, hands on her hips, hamster on her shoulder.

“Step off, Garrus. Samantha is gonna wipe the floor with Tali’s hood thing,” the woman announced as she made a finger-wiggling motion at Tali.

The turian barked with delight. “Sheparrrrrrd!”

Oh God. I’ve made a horrible mistake.

Trading shots for chess pieces wasn’t as great an idea as it seemed. Especially without any food in their bellies. Perhaps if it had been speed chess it wouldn’t have turned out so badly.

But it generally took Tali close to 30 seconds to “chug” her shot through her “emergency induction port.”

Still a straw, Tali.

Plus, Shepard and Garrus insisted on helping them select liquors for their shots in an effort to be supportive. A dangerous mixture of drinks were sloshing in their bellies ranging from bourbons to vodkas to an almost-ryncol that Garrus managed to stop before Sam puked her guts out.

“Are you trying to kill your girlfriend, Shepard?”

“What?! I would never!”

“Just because you can drink that krogan shit doesn’t mean anyone else can.”

Almost-poisoning aside, Sam was teetering dangerously in her seat and had to stave off a warm feeling in her belly with willpower alone. She made a terrible mistake about a third of the way into the match and struggled to correct it with pure aggression.

If I’m going down, I’m taking you with me.

The second game took close to an hour to resolve… and the winner ended up being Tali.

Fist-pumping the air, the quarian bounced out of her seat and did a flourishing dance to celebrate. “Yes! Evened the odds!” She stumbled slightly and made a drunken pointing motion at Sam. “I’m on to your tricks, Specialist. Clever round that time.”

The peanut gallery was also looking unsteady as well. Garrus and Shepard had taken to linking shoulders and whispering to each other about their girlfriends. They had become downright buddy-buddy… up until the game had ended.

“In your face, Shepard! Tali kicked Traynor's ass!”

“Lucky break! Sam won the first game!”

“Beginner’s luck! Tali just needed a chance to learn all her tells and then clean house!”

“That’s Skyllian Five, you jackass! There aren’t ‘tells’ in chess!”

The two actual players just exchanged sighs while their significant others bickered.

And bickered.

And bickered.

Finally, both women stood up and shouted in harmony. “Enough!”

Garrus and Jane shrank back. Even Lil’ Dude, who was just hanging out on the coffee table, flattened his ears and hid behind an empty glass.

Jabbing an accusing finger into Jane’s collarbone, Samantha growled at her girlfriend. “You’re both being ridiculous! This was supposed to be our evening to enjoy ourselves without the pressure of the galaxy on our shoulders! Any idea what that’s like, Shepard?!”

Tali headbutted Garrus’s chest with her hard mask before she shoved him backwards. “And you! Not everything needs to be some turian crest-measuring contest! If you want a fight, go wrestle with Shepard or Vega in the Shuttle Bay!”

It took some doing, but both women managed to hustle their crestfallen mates out of the poker table lounge area with a couple of well-placed pokes and shouts. Luckily, Garrus and Shepard were so stunned by the accusation that they were already outside the glass partition before they realized it had locked in front of them.

“EDI! Privacy lock! Maximum override!” Sam shouted at the ceiling.

[“I am pleased to assist.”]

Breathing heavily, both women exchanged looks with each other before they burst out laughing.

“Did you see Garrus’s face?”

Tali giggled and held her side. “Shepard looked like a kicked puppy, Traynor! How can you resist that sad face?” She cooed as she waved a finger at the glass.

“Oh believe me, she's well-versed in that.” Sam waved a dismissive hand. “The more she uses it, the less effective it is.”

Gesturing to the board, Samantha smiled warmly. “Shall we break this tie we’ve ended up in?”

“Absolutely,” Tali confirmed as she settled back into her seat.

“You’re the one who got us kicked out in the first place! Because, and I quote, 'Tali is gonna wipe the floor with that squishy Comms nerd.’”

“Well she is! All humans are squishy! …except you, of course.”

“Is not! Did you see Samantha at that Kepesh Yakshi tournament? No! You were dicking around in the arena. She was incredible!”

Rolling their eyes, Sam and Tali did their best to ignore the bickering outside the room.

“Thank you for agreeing to this match, Tali. In spite of…” Sam trailed off as she glanced over where Jane was shaking a fist at Garrus. “…in spite of our children fighting over us.”

Glowing eyes thinning to pleased slits, Tali nodded emphatically. “It was my pleasure! We should do this again sometime!” She shot a glance of her own at Garrus, who was pointing and growling at Lil’ Dude on Shepard’s shoulder. “…though, perhaps without our two biggest fans.”

“Hear hear,” Sam echoed as she clinked her glass against Tali’s on the table.

Exchanging a pair of moves, both women sighed contentedly in the peace and quiet.

Just outside, Jane and Garrus had reached a stalemate of glares.

Lil’ Dude was also in on the stare down, locking eyes with the turian with a scowling “Meep!”

“I hope you’re happy, Garrus,” Jane drawled out with a scowl. Though she looked over at Lil’ Dude and grumbled under her breath, “I can’t believe I’m locked out of my own ship.” Swiping over her Omni-tool, Shepard again tried her Commander credentials.

[“Access denied. Sod off, you pair of gits”] was the angry red message that appeared.

“Okay,” Garrus hummed back after running his hand over his crest in an agitated motion. “Let’s just relax and calm down… I’ll start… I’m sorry I called Traynor a 'helper monkey.’”

The Commander slapped at the turian’s shoulder. “Yea, what the hell, Garrus?”

“I'm sorry! Javik would say that and I thought it was a term of endearment! Like Vega calling Tali 'Sparks.’”

Sighing, Jane crossed her arms and mumbled an apology. “Okay, well, I’m sorry I said Tali couldn’t checkmate her way out of a paper bag. Tali is the best.”

The two begrudgingly shook hands before pressing back up against the glass.

“Can you tell what’s going on?” Garrus asked. “I’ll be honest: I don’t understand this game.”

“I’ve played it before and I don’t even understand what’s going on,” Jane admitted with a sigh.

“Keelah but you do have a talent for mixing drinks!” Tali exclaimed as she drained the last of her beverage through a straw. A rattling-sucking noise could be heard. “You missed your calling, Traynor.”

“Oh no,” Sam retorted with a headshake. “I already attempted this calling in university. I very much enjoyed the mixology part. Less so the 'customer service’ part.” She wrinkled her nose at the memory of too many rowdy drunks to count. “I created some excellent precision mixes back in the day, but so rarely did anyone want to recreate them down to the hundredth of a decimal place in fluid ounces.” Feigning a scowl, Sam tossed her hair theatrically. “Philistines.”

The quarian chuckled. “Don’t they understand that quality comes from calibrating exactly the right amoun—?” She froze and shook her head. “—Oh Keelah, I’m starting to sound like Garrus.” Her shoulders dropped fretfully.

Winking back, Sam nudged at the woman’s hand. “You are. But I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

Garrus’s muffled voice shouted through the glass. “What’s happening? Tali? Why are you looking so sad? Are you losing? Did you lose?”

Shepard pounded on the door with a slurred cheer. “Yea! Go Sam! Kick her ass! And not just because Garrus called you a 'helper monkey!’”

He said what?! He called me a what?!

That sonofabitch!

Eyes flicking back to Sam, Tali asked in a bored voice while feigning interest in the game. “Should we tell them it’s a draw?”

“Absolutely not,” Samantha replied. She guzzled down her drink before smacking her lips. “I’d rather enjoy the quiet for a few more minutes. Don’t you agree?”

“Hear hear, Traynor.”

[jinhwanxobs]

munday 4! (plus the other ones kinda?)

       this is my first munday here so hi everyone~! quick introduction as well i suppose (sort of summarizing a few of the other munday things) -- i’m grey and i use they/them pronouns! i am a college senior, comp. sci. major. i’ve written for fun since i could actually write, but I’ve been roleplaying (krp specifically) since fall 2014! (i’m also in central timezone -- an hour behind obscura main timezone). I don’t particularly have a strong preference for any kind of writing genre; it’s all more or less fair game! 

i’m sorry this is so long lmfao

munday 1!

What is your ultimate weakness; what makes you feel all soft and squishy inside?

“cute” things? ...my biases usually...

Write the first thing to come to mind in caps: BUT WHY Three random facts about you: i used to know how to play piano, i’ve owned a pokemon game from every generation except for the wii games (which do not count), and my bias groups are vixx, infinite, btob, f(x) and bts.

munday 2!

If your muse(s) could describe you in a few words, what would they say?

“at least they’re clean...”

What is the most wicked thing you could imagine your character doing?

as a witch he could very well slip into warlock-dom at a point so i’m not sure how general this should be -- magic can really fuck you up, kids. as it currently stands he’s... i could see him ruining someone’s life on social media or something if they really pissed him off though

If your muse(s) were real, would you fight them?

yes. he’d probably beat me on size alone. probably. but it’d be worth it

What object would you erase from existence if given the opportunity?

cigarettes. the smoke and residue makes me so sick

If you had a billion dollars and could only spend it, what would you buy first?

that’s a lot of money. i’d buy a service that’d help me invest it? or something? and pay off my loans. i’m not a very material person so i... have no idea.... outside of housing and donating most of it and helping out my friends

If you could play any sport, what would it be?

does dance count as a sport?? i love watching excellent and intense choreography and i do like to dance but i am very awkward-limbed

Do you have any fun hobbies or talents you’d like to share?

i like to draw! i actually write fanfic outside of rp too. mmm i like to cook/bake as well, and i like to play video games when i get the chance

Do you have/want any pets? 

i want a cat.......... please let me have a cat...........

munday 3!

What’s the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to you?

well if i’m being a sap i’d say meeting all of my rp friends; i’m extremely fortunate in that regard. but as a more specific thing, i’d say my love live luck is pretty damn incredible. my best girl fuckin loves me. when scouting for job kanan i did 6 pulls, ur came home TWICE as did the hanamaru ssr also twice, as well as another ur and two ssrs?? and i’ve gotten every one of her cards that’s come out since then?? she’s too good to me

If you could attend any concert or event right now without any obstacles, what would you choose?

i would die (my anxiety would kill me) but a vixx concert with a hi-touch event

What’s your dream vacation?

being at the ocean (can you say beautiful, destin sands) with no pressure of going anywhere, meeting anyone. just lazing in the sand and swimming out into the water. getting caught in the waves sometimes but feeling all sun warm and happily worn at the end of the day

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate? Any style preferences?

tea! hot tea i can drink with or without sugar but my cold/ice tea has to be sweet -- (bubble) milk tea is also so so good

A game you love ( traditional, video, etc )?

i love pokemon......... i’ll say it ten thousand times....... hoenn is my favorite region (i love the routes around fortree....)

Favorite/Number one go-to internet meme?

Least favorite internet meme?

Something that makes you want to flip a table?

hmm... i’d have to be in the moment of flipping the table to tell you

In your opinion, do you fit the stereotyped traits of your western zodiac sign? Do you believe that another sign fits you better? What about your muse?

i don’t know? i think i’m perhaps more like a taurus than a libra. i don’t really understand the stereotypes very well. uuuh... jinhwan? he doesn’t fit the stereotyped traits of an aries either. maybe gemini?

Post a gif of what you’re currently feeling right now.

munday 4!

Do you prefer to brainstorm your plots or wing them? Do you have no preference in either?

i’m not so sure so far as what winging a plot would be -- i like to have a pretty good idea of what’s going to happen. not necessarily detail by detail, but having a good idea of the setting and how long a thread will go, if there might need to be any location changes or time skips possibly?? those are good things to discuss. you can’t always tell how a muse will react to things until you’re writing them in that moment, so it’s good to be flexible in regard to those changes too ouo

What kind of writing memes do you like, if any (sentence starters, drabble memes, head-canon memes, etc)?

i don’t particularly like sentence starters, as it’s hard for me to come up with fitting context for them. i love headcanon memes for sure but it’s a bit hard for me to say for anything else, as i’ve not had a lot of experience with them!

What’s the easiest way to plot with you? Alternatively, what is the easiest way to contact you for plotting?

give me all your ideas, any ideas!! even if they’re very silly to begin with (mine often are) there might be a good idea for a plot buried in there~ i’ll do the same but please do let me know if i need to slow down haha discord is the single best way of getting ahold of me (thru dms) please do not hesitate to add me and send me a message! on tumblr through dms is totally fine too but i sometimes lose track of them ;;

What kind of movies/television series/dramas/anime/etc do you like to watch?

i love animated stuff! most anime, western stuff like legend of korra, atla, steven universe, young justice, teen titans, etc.; i like action movies i guess? superhero stuff is pretty alright but uh pacific rim and mm: fury road are two of my favorite movies. unless it’s pretty gripping i have trouble paying attention (and also no matter what it is i usually prefer to watch with subs bc i always get a lot more out of it that way)

Would you be interested in the occasional group viewing of a movie/series/drama/cartoon/etc, if one were to be organized?

YELL HES. i have a ton of studio ghibli movies and also all three seasons of atla and all seasons of legend of korra, if i can just figure out how to stream them i’d love to help with that sort of thing also??? ?????

If yes to the above, do you have any specifics in time or day as to when you are available to attend? If no, is there any group activity that you would be interested in participating in (ie, games of some sort)?

bruh i’m down for anything. i’ll have school coming up here this next week but i’ll for the most part be free on the weekends outside of coding and doing schoolwork and hunting bugs. i’m done with class by the evening all during the week too

If you were caught up in a food fight, what food would you throw first?

oh geez... something that wouldn’t hurt? i’d probably just be trying to get out of there asap lmfao

If you could be any mythological beast, which one would you be and why?

DRAGON. NATURALLY. big dumb scaley dog with a big pile of shiny things in a hoard. that me -v-

Top five things that make you happy?

i don’t know about top five! but here’s a few... giving someone something that you’ve thought they’d really like and actually making their day; lazy background music and ambient noises in a place of solitude; chicken tikka masala with rice and naan; drawing silly things; ...pokemon? anything and everything about it?

Share a picture! It could be of your bias, a cute animal, a drawing, a meme, an anime wife—anything you’d like!

[ascendingmatrix]

IN 5D ENERGY UPDATE – BIZARRE ASCENSION ANOMALIES – LEAKY EARS PLUS EXTREME DIZZINESS!

Posted by stevew | Apr 13, 2018 | 2018, Ascension, Daily Blog

ENERGY UPDATE – BIZARRE ASCENSION ANOMALIES – LEAKY EARS PLUS EXTREME DIZZINESS!

In5D

April 10, 2018

by Gregg Prescott, M.S. Founder, Webmaster, & Editor, In5D.com

For the past 6 months or so, I’ve had a bizarre ascension symptom that I never spoke about, until a few days ago during my In5D Facebook Live video called, “Sealed Indictments NOW UNSEALED, Important Q message, Waves of Energy – In5D FB Live w/ Gregg Prescott Ep #17”.

I talk about it at the 28:04 marker of the video:

In this video, I spoke about the “Spring 2018 Ascension Symptoms” that Rosie Neal spoke about. One that she didn’t list is having leaky ears, so I brought that up in my video.

I’m sorry if it may sound gross, but both ears have been leaking a clear liquid for about 6 months or so. At night, it’s difficult to sleep on a regular pillow because my ear lobe ends up making a squishy, suctioning sound from the liquid in my ear.

I further elaborate on this topic in my Patreon In5D Facebook Live AFTERTHOUGHTS video around the 9:55 marker of the video below:

In5D PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/in5d

You’ll find Celia’s response below

I resolved this squishy ear issue at night by using a horseshoe-shaped travel pillow by placing my ear in the center of it.

I tried using drops of colloidal silver in both ears, as well as a saline flush, but neither made a difference.

Because I live in Florida, some may think it’s “Swimmer’s Ear” but the water is too cold to go swimming right now, so I can rule that out.

After my FB Live video, author Celia Fenn contacted me via a private message and explained what is happening:

Hi Gregg…I was just listening to your Live transmission. I am just working on the reason for ears/throat symptoms etc. It has to do with major activation of the right brain to bring it into harmony/union with the left brain and to activate the “transmission” part of the throat chakra. This is to enable reconnection with the Galactic Frequencies which are only accessible via right brain light transmissions and not left brain. We are moving into nonverbal/galactic ways of communicating. It is hard on the nervous system too, hence the exhaustion and the need to sleep.

This is in perfect conjunction with what I experienced last week with an energy wave on successive days that felt like both hemispheres of my brain were merging, followed by extreme exhaustion (and a nap!).

Check out the comments on my Facebook posts below!

Gregg Prescott

last Friday

ENERGY UPDATE: I felt another wave go through today around noon (Eastern) time. It was similar to the last one with the same sensations going on in both hemispheres of the brain. Afterwards, I felt incredibly tired and I just woke up from a 2 hour nap.Gregg Prescott

about a week ago

I just felt this HUGE energy shift a couple minutes ago (around 2:15 pm eastern time). It felt as if both hemispheres of the brain were merging. Did anyone else just feel that???

Celia recently wrote an article called, “So what is that Ringing in my Ears……” where she stated:

If you look at the Inner Ear, you will see an organ called the Cochlea, which is shaped like a spiral. This organ is responsible for translating sounds received into impulses that can be sent along the neural pathways to the brain and be heard and understood. But, on the Higher Dimensions, the Cochlea also acts as a Galactic “antenna” that can receive sounds/signals from the Higher Dimensions.

There is a Cochlear spiral in each ear, and they work together to facilitate the function of hearing in the body. But, in spiritual terms, the Left Ear Cochlea works with the Left Brain to receive and ground information to do with life on Earth, while the Right Ear Cochlea receives and translates information from the Galactic level that connects to the spiritual and mystical realms.

Both are connected into the nervous system and the brain. However, the impulses that activate the Cochlea spiral on the level of Higher Consciousness are transmitted via the Pituitary Gland and then into the Cochlea via various neural pathways and light meridians. This means that when Galactic Light Codes are being transmitted very strongly through Solar and Galactic radiation waves, then the Pineal is more strongly activated and likewise, in those who are ready, the Cochlea begins to vibrate with the messages of the Language of Light!

In a balanced individual, the activation of Left and Right Cochlea spirals ensures that there is balance, both literal and emotional/mental and spiritual. In our planetary culture, we have been very “out of balance”, with the Left Brain being strongly activated and the Right Brain not. We live in a Left Brain society, where little importance is given to the activities and functions of the Right Brain, starting from School and continuing into Adult life.

So it is that as the Right Brain Cochlea begins to vibrate in harmony with the Light Code transmissions of the Galactic spiral, you begin to “hear” transmissions that you did not hear before. This may simply sound like “white noise” at this time, as your brain has no idea how to translate it into meaningful “language”.But, as and when you begin to work with your Right Brain and expand into the Magical Higher Dimensions, these transmissions will begin to take on shape and meaning.

Once again, this help to explain the feelings I’ve been having with the sensations that both hemispheres of my brain felt as if they were merging.

One of the comments on the In5D FB Live video was from Britt Johnson, who stated:

“….leaking from ears: l was told years ago that it is a holy liquid coming from the inner ear/glands it prepares you to be able to hear on higher reals/levels.”

So, the latest anomaly is extreme dizziness.

Gregg Prescott

on Monday

ENERGY UPDATE: EXTREME Dizziness when I stand up quickly, PLUS EXTREME body tingling ALL OVER my body. It’s like my mind is in two different worlds. We’ve all had dizziness from standing up too quickly, but this time, it’s MUCH different. In last week’s energy update, I mentioned how it felt like both hemispheres of my brain were merging when the wave hit on successive days. I wonder if this has something to do with those waves?

Has anyone else felt this?

Yes, we’ve all felt dizzy at some point in our lives, but I’ve never felt anything like this. It’s as if I can literally feel the hemispheres of my brain shifting. At one point, I went from sitting on the floor to sitting on my couch and got dizzy. I even moved slowly to avoid the dizziness, to no avail..

One of the comments on my post by Warlito Nobleza Vicente made perfect sense. He said:

Imagine a plasma layer overlaid on your physical vessel with energetic interfaces. Imagine the knights and their iron armor, except that the armor is made of liquid light.

You walk and it feels different because you are learning to walk again with your armor of light. You will feel dizziness as you relearn to balance your gait.

It feels as if we’re truly waling between two worlds right now!

Are you experiencing leaky ears and/or extreme dizziness? If so, then please comment below!

Sending you all infinite Love & Light,

Gregg

[toasted-tea-kel]

This summer, I went to Greece with my best friends. A week of drinking, eating and lounging in the sun may sound like a dream to some, but, if you’re like me, the thought of a bikini brings only dread. My anxiety kicked in, leaving me adamant that my holiday would be spent covered up. But… a miracle happened. I wore a bikini EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. As silly as it may sound, I am so proud of myself for that.

But…

Tomorrow I’m jetting off to Mallorca (lucky girl or what!), and those all to familiar vulnerabilities are reoccurring.

*A brief conversation between myself and that little voice in my head*

“IT’S BIKINI SEASON WHICH MEANS I HAVE TO WEAR A BIKINI BUT I DON’T HAVE A BIKINI BODY AND MY TUMMY ROLLS ARE GOING TO SHOW AND MY LEGS WILL LOOK HUGE AND EVERYBODY WILL BE LOO”…

Let me hold you right there Gee.

Do you have a body? Yes. Do you own a bikini? Yes! Well, congratulations, you have a bikini body.

Your tummy rolls are incredibly adorable and squishy, and they are what makes you, you.

So what, your legs jiggle a little bit and you don’t have a thigh gap – that does not make them unworthy of being shown off.

NOBODY CARES what you look like in a bikini – why? Because they are enjoying their holiday, minding their own business.

Society is incredibly good at making women feel isolated and ashamed to wear swimsuits, as swimwear is advertised as a luxury worn by women of thin, super-model statures. Although there is nothing wrong with these bodies, they are not representative of the rest of the population. The body positive community has helped me redefine the concept of ‘bikini body’. Seeing images of empowered women feeling sexy and confident in a bikini no matter their shape, has given me the boost I needed to rock my holiday clothes!

    My top tips for feeling more confident in a bikini.

1. Take pictures of your bikini try on sesh!

I can’t stress this tip enough! I worried for so long about what my body looked like in a bikini, so I decided to just try all of them on and take natural pictures in them.  Looking at pictures of myself where I hadn’t contorted my body to look its thinnest filled me with confidence! See those pictures below? See that smile? That is the smile of a girl in the healing process –  putting her body worries aside for just a second to appreciate her natural figure.

  2. Don’t be afraid to cover up.

Walking around half-naked can be extremely nerve-wracking, especially to a pool side full of strangers! If you feel yourself reaching for your towel or beach cover up, GO FOR IT. Pressuring yourself into a situation where you already feel vulnerable is horrible, so do whatever it takes to reduce your anxiety.

  3. Learn to appreciate your body.

Harder than it looks right? I’m still getting there. The best thing to do is to take small steps. For instance, (oh dear I can’t believe I’m about to admit this), I squish the podge around my thighs, and my tummy… Learning the shapes my body can make is actually kind of fascinating – it helps me get rid of negative feelings towards my body (feeling the fat on my tummy is too much) and replace them with positive feelings! So, trust me on this one!

  4. Focus on the situation, not the individual.

Make a list of all things you might worry about on holiday. Next to these, come up with solutions for you to have on hand if these worries come true. For instance, somebody mentions your body? Write down what you would say to them – although this probably won’t happen, defending your body on paper may sub-consciously allow you to make peace with yourself. Worried about feeling uncomfortable, take yourself on a retail-therapy trip and treat yourself to some cute cover-ups, or a swim suit that makes you feel amazing!

  5. SCREENSHOT SCREENSHOT SCREENSHOT!

The body positive community are the best people to turn to when you’re feeling insecure. Instagram accounts like @bodiposipanda, @omgkenzieee, @_____halle__ and @positivelykate are just a handful of amazing women who diffuse love and positivity through every post (see images below). Before Zante, I scoured their accounts to uplift myself. I screen shotted the images that spoke to me the most, and looked at each one every morning before heading to the pool.

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    You have every last right to enjoy yourself in a bikini, so just f*king enjoy yourself!!!

Yours truly, G x

Bikini Season – help! This summer, I went to Greece with my best friends. A week of drinking, eating and lounging in the sun may sound like a dream to some, but, if you're like me, the thought of a bikini brings only dread.

[weracetogether]

Loggerhead- 20 Mile Swim http://ift.tt/2wGHl49 Every adventure has a starting point. This adventure starts with more of the absence of a starting point. In our local area we had the Pensacola 3 Mile Bridge Swim for a number of years. I miss this event and hope to see it again in the future. I participated in the Aquathlon, 5K swim, 10K swim, and 25K swim distances. The event has been on-hold for the past few years due to plans for and now actual construction of a new Pensacola Bay Bridge. In the time the swim has been on hold there have been a number of “fun” swims with a few friends gathering together to swim around points or across boat channels. Then there was talk of an EPIC swim. This talk was quickly here and then gone but it stuck in my mind. The plan was to swim from Navarre Beach to Pensacola Beach. The seed was

The actual route taken.

planted for me. I waited to see if it was going to happen but the chatter went silent. Then in May of this year the “big” race Patrick and I were signed up for got canceled and options for other events we wanted to do were limited. The wheels started turning in my head and one day I just told Patrick, "I would like to try to swim from Navarre to Pensacola this summer." I should not be amazed anymore when he agrees, but I am amazed every time he simply says, "OK."

We set the first attempt date in July. Yes it was a quick turnaround, mostly so I could not chicken out, but is was also the best day for tides and amount of daylight. On that day the weather was such that the swim was not going to happen. We faced winds that were causing white caps on the sound. Kayaks were sinking and swimmers, including myself, were making only slow forward progress. To slow to make the distance before dark. With these rough conditions we called the event. You can read more about this attempt on the prior blog entry, Adventures in Failure.

After the first attempt failed, I rethought the possibility of me doing this swim. Patrick asked me when I was going to try again only minutes after leaving the water defeated. I am pretty sure I rolled my eyes and looked at him with a look of, “did you not just see me almost drown out there, bugger off.” But my reply was, “Soon. We will try again soon.” I set two future dates, in case of weather again or other issues. I knew given the daylight limitations that I could only try two more times before waiting until longer days in the spring.

The 19th of August seem to come sooner than naturally possible. Again we packed up fluids, food, and safety supplies. That morning the number of swimmers were far less than the prior attempt.I don’t blame them! Patrick was the only kayaker, Jim would enter the water to swim with me, and Danika would give us hugs, cheer, and push us off with much needed emotional support, encouragement, and confidence in our ability. I was honestly glad for the small numbers (just in case I failed again). It seemed to make it easier to manage in my mind. Patrick pushed out towards the first set of docks. I stood there in thigh deep water, took a glance at the rising sun behind me, waved to our friend (who was all smiles), and took a deep breath before diving into the water.

The water was already warm and it was 0630 in the morning. As we swam out past the first dock, seagrass and squishy jelly fish began to be a part of every stroke forward. The good thing about squishy jellies is that they don’t sting. The bad thing about squishy jellies is that I have trust issues with any jellies, causing me to jump each time my hand brushed one. The seagrass was more of a five mile nuisance, at times being so thick I could have given Patrick a bouquet of grass in one stroke. I wasn't sure this would have been a good way to show my love or appreciation so I kept the seagrass to myself.

I wanted to start at a nice, smooth pace, sort of a start slow and ease off mentality. The water, while warm, was smooth. We hit moments where I just watched the water droplets from my arms break the surface of the settled waters. It was beautiful and peaceful. The water danced as I moved through it, breaking and bending with me this time, not against me like the previous attempt.  I watched ahead eyeing a familiar boathouse that I knew would be close to the moment of defeat a month ago. I watched as it got closer, as houses and condos slowly faded from view. Then the boathouse was next to me and I could see the first outcropping in the distance. This was where I was last time when tough decisions had to be made. The other side of this cove would be the start to the furthest I had traveled on this path. While this point was within only mile three, it was a mental blocking point and I had to remind myself to “be the storm” even against my own mind which was yammering on about failure and defeat. The outcropping seemed to come up faster then expected and with it shallow waters. The shallows now meant that seagrass brushed my stomach at the same time as brushing over my arms and back.

Finally after four miles, the buildings of Navarre Beach were gone and the visual scene to my left became one of flowing sand dunes spotted with low trees and grasses.  Jim and I pushed on, going over a shallow area where I saw my first stingray. He stirred as I came over him. He jetted out towards the deeper waters. I don’t blame him; the water was hot in the shallows. As we got into the National Seashore I found a “stream” of cooler water. With a little zig-zagging I was able to stay in the four foot wide stream. The stream didn’t last long but was refreshing and welcomed.

Well into the seashore Jim began to swap between swimming and walking the shore. It was nice having another swimmer out there with me. While we weren’t always at the same place (sometimes one of us was towards the shore and the other out deeper and then we would swap, crossing paths with little notice until we would look around for each other), there was comfort in Jim being there. Jim is the kind of guy who literally goes the extra mile with you. He and I have swum together often in a  “Monday night swim group.” Our normal swim route as still 12 miles away. Jim is a smiling face when things were starting to feel tough. Jim has strength in ways I could only ponder. I knew why I was there in that water, but for Jim I only knew he was there to because, “why not” (and I am sure a self-challenge of sorts too). Jim would stay out there for nine miles - incredible.   

The next handful of miles would cause us to have to push out beyond a few more outcroppings and trying to stay out of the currents that were twisting the water through the coves and back out to the channel. While I had already swum through the tide rising and slacking, I was not getting as much benefit as I had hoped with the outgoing current. The chop created by the churning current and slight wind was building, causing me to have some trouble sighting the next landmark. Patrick kept me on track; well as much on track as he could, as I tend to get distracted at times. In these miles I encountered a few more rays and small fish, and a few fishermen wondering what I was doing and if I was scarring away their potential catches.

We came upon Big Sabine Point, which earlier had been discussed as to what it was out in the middle of the water. We thought ship, bridge, or bird... yeah we may have all been a little over exposed to the sun even early on. What we saw from miles back was trees. Trees I would have to swim out and around hitting higher chop, but then seeing the buildings of Pensacola much clearer. We were close enough to see individual windows!

From here Range Point and Portofino were well insight. Even the Pensacola Beach hotels were coming into view.  In the beginning the buildings had given way to the beach. The beach now gave way to the buildings. Those buildings felt like road blocks in my mind. I should have been happy; I was close (well closer). But instead my mind raced with doubt. What I knew in that moment was what I thought was going to be a 17 mile swim was now going to be much longer, meaning it wasn’t over and I wasn’t close. My mind tried to negotiate with my heart, saying, “stop,” trying to say, “you are technically at Pensacola beach, you can be done now.” I was thankful when my heart won out, saying, “keep pushing, its right there.”

After Portofino the crossing became deep again. The seagrass faded away and I was left watching the dark below me. As the sun peaked and hid behind the clouds the water danced beneath me in shades of greens and blues and browns, but my eyes were focusing elsewhere in the distance on a row of hotels that really looked more like Lego pieces from my vantage point.

A few miles out from shore we were met by our friend Chris, who came out on his paddle board. I was thankful to have another safety there as the boat traffic was picking up; Patrick was thankful to have another person there to actually have a conversation with, since he had been pretty much alone for the day. I could hear Patrick and Chris talk as I swam. I stopped and grabbed fluids again and asked what building I was headed towards. Both Patrick and Chris told me to go to the tallest building and that Quietwater Beach/Mommy Beach was right there. I was honestly feeling very defeated still seeming so far away, I actually asked, “Are you sure?” Both of them laughed at me and confirmed they were sure.  It was also shortly after this moment that I was in my swim rhythm and even though I had been breathing to both sides I slammed my left shoulder into Patrick’s kayak after making a strange and sudden turn towards him. I swear I never saw him there and I have no idea why I turned. Over the moments of pain, all I thought was, “Put your head back in the water and swim.” I did.

Soon we were joined by another kayaker, I knew this only because Patrick was chatting again. Tom had joined us and again I was thankful, because the boat traffic was building as people went home or to dinner spots along the beach.  Suddenly I saw Patrick begin the paddle ahead a little and Tom move swiftly to my right side, the fog horn went off and I stopped (as planned), luckily the speed boat stopped too, well quickly turned from us. For the remainder of the swim I would stay with Tom to my right, Chris behind me, and Patrick to my left; I was safe here.

The docks along Quitewater Beach got closer and closer. Soon I was swimming in waters I had swam through many times before. I was home (almost). I stopped one more time to tell Patrick “I was done and going to call it,” but he only laughed at my smiling face and sternly told me to swim. I heard Tom asked if I was serious. Yep it was a joke 15 miles in the making and I was cracking myself up.  Shortly after, the guys broke from me and pushed to shore. I no longer knew if my goggles were leaking or if tears were filling them; it didn’t matter. For the last time my hands brushed the sand. I pulled my legs up under me and stood up, taking a moment to balance. I was there on the shore, greeted by the guys and friends, Mindi and Evan. It was over. 12 hours, 21 minutes, and 1 second from when I started, I was on shore 20 miles away from where I started.

I stood on the shore in disbelief. I looked to the east to see nothing of     Navarre beach in the distances; it was gone too far away to see now. I know that there are better swimmers than me, faster, farther swimmers than me. But today I swam 20 miles and I am proud of that feat. It still hasn’t sunk in that I swam that, even after picking up the car at the start point it didn’t seem to be a real distance. Even after the congratulations and wows it didn’t seem real. The distance and physical feat has not hit yet- because to me it was a journey in my mind far different from the physical journey. I solved the world’s problems, created world peace, thought of friends and family, mended hearts their hearts and lost relationships, created plans for my work team, and then in the weight of the land so much of it was lost again. My mind is putting together the pieces, maybe not to solve world peace or to mend all hearts, but enough of the pieces to reach out and help make things better. The physical accomplishment will come to my mind in time.

To be on shore was amazing, but even more amazing has been the support. I can’t say thank you enough to those who have been a constant support through this adventure. Thank you to those who have jumped in the water to swim or kayak, to those who have followed the little red dot on live tracking, to those who have offered food along the way, to those who have cheered and laughed with us, and to those who have lifted my spirit when I felt like I was free falling. 

Lastly, to my love a thank you for always being there (even when you drifted back to update social media). Without Patrick 20 miles would not even be a dream dreamt in the darkness; he is the one who breaths in light to my dreams and crazy ideas. It was comforting to look over and see him there beside me, to hear him whisper words of affirmation, and to feel him hold me when the adventure was over. He is my life line. He is my rock. He is the part of my soul that holds me firmly between the course of reality and the freedom of destiny. I can never say thank you to him to express my gratitude for him being there (always) for those words cannot hold my appreciation and love for him.

   So here is the general data break down:

On 19 August 2017 I swam from Navarre Beach to Pensacola Beach, covering a distance of 20 miles. 20 miles, 12:21:01 time in the water, 11:22:49 total moving time (meaning my treading or standing to eat did not count as moving time but was in the overall time), average moving speed of 1.8mph.  The water temp was about 88 degrees but there were areas of colder water about a foot down, leaving the hot water to sit at the top.  The air temp was mid 90’s; however, felt hotter with the heat index. We encountered a few clouds but no storms.

With this my Tampa Bay Frogman Swim 2018 training has begun, now for speed work and cold waters!!! If you can, please help us support the Navy SEAL Foundation. Teresa's Donation Page for Tampa Bay Frogman Swim 2018 Teresa is actively raising money for the Navy Seal Foundation.  For more information please read this: Supporting the Navy Seal Foundation- Frogman Swim  We've been blogging for a while now. If you enjoyed this one, you may enjoy others. Look though the Blog Archive on the right, for more of our experiences and random thoughts.  Thank you for your ongoing support of our adventures.   Please feel free to share our blog.