#i totally didnt finish this at 11 fucking PM

[l0v3lyx]

| 𝒯𝒽𝑒 "𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓃𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓃𝒹"

| 𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: 𝒷𝒶𝒹 𝓈𝓅𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝒷𝑒𝑔𝒾𝓃𝓃𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝒶𝓃𝒻𝒾𝒸

| 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝑒𝑔𝒾𝓃𝓃𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝓂𝓊𝓉 𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓇𝓎, 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝑜𝓇𝓈 𝒹𝓃𝒾 !!

| ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

| 𝒩𝑜𝓉𝑒𝓈: 𝒮𝑒𝓍𝓊𝒶𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓈, 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓉𝒶𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓇𝑒𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉𝓈,

| 𝓈𝓊𝑔𝑔𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈, 𝒶𝓁𝒸𝑜𝒽𝑜𝓁 𝓊𝓈𝑒,

| 𝒟𝑜𝓂!𝐿𝓊𝒸𝒾𝒻𝑒𝓇 𝓍 𝓈𝓊𝒷!𝒻𝑒𝓂!𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇 𝒫𝒪𝒱.

LINKS: Chapter one -> Chapter two -> Chapter three -> Chapter four

𝐸𝒩𝒥𝒪𝒴!

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You wake up in lucifer's bed at the hotel, him still asleep next to you, both of you still undressed. You could tell he was very tired from last night from how loudly he snored. You finally managed to get up without waking him to get your clothes on and go down for breakfast. As you went downstairs you saw angel dust on the couch again watching tv before alastor got up. "soooo~ how'd it gooo~?" "What? What do you mean?" "Umm, you said you would do what we talked about yesterday- what happened after that?? I need the juicy story im bored" "Well-" you then remembered how lucifer didnt want others to know about their little secret... "he just said he liked me back and we kissed- thats it-" "Huh- guess i mistook him for being more of the dominant type- eh its ok it mustve been sweet though, i think you guys would be cute together" "Oh- haha- yeah- well, i better go get some coffee- see you later angel!" "ok!" you rush to the kitchen to get some coffee, you were still tired from last night, and you were aching all over from it being your first time. When the kitchen doors shut behind you, you see lucifer standing there with your coffee ready for you. "Here, i made this for you. Sorry about last night- I- I wasn't thinking clearly I just-" you went up and kissed him on the cheek, forgiving him in a way. "Its alright- thanks for making me this, its my favorite." his cheeks turned red. "Um, anyways- I have a meeting with the other sins at noon, I need you to come with me but just sort of desguised as a servant or something." "Ok, what should I wear though? I dont know much about hell's fashion-" "Well, maybe something short- usually women with longer dresses shows how high their ranking is in hell, and thats very few of them. So just a short dress or a skirt and a shirt, not too short though-" "ok, I can probably ask someone else at the hotel for one."

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"Hey, since you're taking a while to change, ill just go already. Meet me there when youre ready. Just teleport to me." "Ok!!" As you hear him leave, you slip on the dress angel dust gave you, it didn't look that short... as you looked at yourself in the mirror you saw how the dress was tight, and it was snug on your curves. It really brought out the shape of your body. You thought it was a little short, but you didnt really care, most women looked like that in hell anyways.

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You were finally able to teleport to where lucifer was, it was the outside of a room. You were in an echoey hallway with marble flooring and white walls, there were also alot of plants around. As you nervously opened the door, everyone continued with the meeting and you went to go stand next to lucifer since there wasnt an extra seat to pull up. "Hey y/n, could you please get me something to drink? This meeting has been going so long its making me dehydrated." Somehow he could sense your presence behind him without looking at you, he didnt even notice you enter the room. You went to go get him a cup of water from a table in the corner that was sort of a station for water, coffee, and tea. You pressed down the tab and the water spilled into the cup. Slowly you walked back to the table, bent down (sort of) and placed his water down infront of him. The only thing that had necessarily caught his attention was at how short your dress was, so when you bent over it was somewhat revealing. He was bright red, until he focused back on the meeting so nobody would notice.

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After the seemingly long meeting, everyone had left, except for you and lucifer. "Hey, uh, thanks for coming with me, I uhm- i appreciate you waiting for me." You saw how he blushed, you couldnt really figure out why he was though. "Luci, is something wrong?" "No- everything is fine- I need to go to the washroom be right back-" he stormed out. You always wondered what he did in there, he was probably on his phone or something... Later you both left the building, lucifer fixated on you and your short dress as you both walked along the sidewalk. "Luci are you staring because my dress is short?" He blushed, but he also grinned a bit and said "So what if I was?" You blushed, you knew what got him going, and you decided to tease him again, just to see how far he could go this time. you lifted up your dress by a hair, revealing some of your ass. Lucifer blushed more, he dug his claws into his cane slowly, practically resisting the urge to fuck you right here. "Why can't you just wait until we get back to the hotel?" you grinned "because you dont look like you want to wait~" "Well, in fact, i can (lies). Today we will be going back to the castle, we just need to go back to the hotel to say goodbye to everyone, except for alastor." it was very obvious how much lucifer hated alastor, then you got an idea to sort of mess with him. As you arrived at the hotel you started to wave everyone goodbye, and then hugged alastor... Lucifer stared angrily as he waited for you both to leave. "Actually lets just teleport home..." he grabbed you by your waist quickly as you both travelled to the castle. "I thought I told you not to go near him again." "so what if i did?" you grinned. There was a chain then that had manifested into his hands and around your neck, he tugged it a bit to pull you in closer. He grabbed your face as he turned into his demon form. "Oh? so were being naughty now? you should know by now that subjects get punished if they disrespect the king." he pulled at the chain again, bringing you even closer to him. "Well, i guess im going to have to do that to you now, and im gonna enjoy every last second~" *oh shit-* he carried you to the bedroom, and pushed you into the bed as he hovered over you. The chain withered away and he started undressing. "L-Luci-" he ignored it. He came closer to you, and pushed your panties to the side. "ha, already wet, just for me~" "L-luci please-" "get ready princess, tonight is going to be a long night~"

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It was almost midnight now, you both had been keeping this up for almost 3 hours now. You were practically dick drunk and you could barely see straight, you had almost forgotten how demons have an absolutely insane amount of energy until the 10th round reminded you of that quickly. "Had e-enough yet?" you managed to mumble. It had been 27 rounds now, you were impressed but also tired, since you were in your normal form still. "No, I think i'll keep going until it gets into your head." He had an ear-to-ear grin that sent chills down your spine but still made you blush some. "Please l-luci I can't-" "I am just testing to see how far I can go with you~ and you're fine so far so i think you can handle one more round darling~" "L-L-Luci~" you said out of breath. "please luci I think i've had enough~" you moan slightly as he starts again, you could barely feel it anymore since you were already so numb. "I-I cant f-feel an-anything~" he pulled your hair some and sped up with his pace. "I could do much more than make you numb, darling~" you blushed more at his comment. You wondered why he was going so much it was like he was deliberately pushing your limits- "L-luci why do we need t-to do t-this m-more? I-isnt a f-few r-rounds e-enough?~" you let out a louder moan this time, able to feel again as he rammed his cock deep inside you repeatedly. "I figured you would've had a full demon form by now, so I wanted to see if I could somehow make you transform, since most people cannot do it on command the first time." you were surprised at how calm he was during all of this, and he wasn't rough just like you asked the first night. "Oh shit, im about to cu-" "Just shut up and do it i dont care if you forgot a condom i just want to sleep after this" he blushed and grinned "heh, ok then~" you then let out a final moan "L-Luci~" You were tired and fell right asleep on top of him, he fell asleep not long after, as you two cuddled the rest of the night neither of you were prepared for what entails the next morning...

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When you and lucifer wake up you hear a fist pounding on your door. You both quickly rush to get up and get your clothes on and lucifer quickly transforms back into his normal form. "Stay back here and change your clothes or something ill go check the door." he rushes to the door to see who was there. When he opened the door he was surprised to see Charlie, who looked visibly angry. "Whats wrong char-char?" he asked nervously. "Whats wrong is you forgot to come to my meeting last night with the angels! You promised you would be there at 9!" "OH- SHIT- UHM- RIGHT! WELL YOU SEE UH- I GOT CAUGHT UP WITH WORK, AND I FELL ASLEEP..." "Youre lying." "Charlie no im not, please, i cant handle those angels right now, i need to finish up something important-" "and what would that be?" in the corner of her eye she manages to see you through the door, peeking around the corner to find something new to wear. "Just, stuff!" "Mhm, right- and does that stuff include your best friend over there?" *oh shit she saw you* you quickly run back into the room and slam the door. "Thats the door to your bedroom why was she in there?" "She was helping with work i swear-" "ok then- why was she naked?" "pfft- youre just seeing things charlie-" she looks at him and says in her demonic voice "Explain now." "Listen- charlie- it was just one night- ok? I don't know what came over me-" "I knew it! you're replacing mom!" "Thats not what this is at all! I divorced her! Its not like im cheating on her!" "Ugh! I cannot believe you dad!" she stormed away from the palace and went back to the hotel. "Well, that went swimmingly..." he said sarcastically and flopped on the couch in the living room and ran his fingers through his messy hair. You came out with a robe on this time, "Did I ruin the secret-?" "No, just as long as charlie doesnt tell anyone else we're perfectly fine." "Ok-" "Speaking of fine~" He grabbed you by the waist and sat you down on his lap "Im feeling like one more round~ What do you think?~" he started biting your neck softly. "Why?~" "Reasons~" he untied your robe and took it off of you, he admired at how stunning you were. As you started to unbutton his shirt he started to turn into his demon form- *ok- please dont say this is also going to last 3 hours-* You were both now fully undressed, you still sitting on his lap... he set you slowly on top of his throbbing cock as you started off slowly. "-Fuck!-L-Luci~" you moaned loudly. "Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck im gonna cum~" you groaned. "Already?~" Lucifer grinned and kept you going, his plan was working, you could feel your wings coming back, and some other additional features too- you could feel horns and a tail now, you still had your halo and wings though. Your colors also changed. Your skin now resembled lucifers, black hands and feet fading into white skin. And your tail and horns just like his, bright red, except your wings were as white as snow now, same with your halo. Your face had the red cheek markings now too, with red sclera white iris and a black pupil. you were beautiful. "W-wow- you look stunning- ah~ shit~" he groaned. "gonnacumgonnacumgonnacumgonnacummm~ Fuck!~" you both stopped, you digging your black claws into his back. It made him feel good, just how you did just now.

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He admired your wings, horns, and tail. "Were you a seraph or something? Your wings are very white, and your horns and tail have blue accents instead of red... maybe because you havent fully adapted to hell yet, like i have, having red accents and yellow eyes." "Oh, uhm, no, i wasnt. I was a uhhhhhhh-" he looked at you waiting for your response. "You were a lower ranking? thats fine-" "I was a winner-" "OH! ok- so you used to live on earth??" "Uhm, yeah... it wasnt really the best experience, and it wasnt that good in heaven either. But that doesnt matter anymore since i guess this is better-" "hm? Really?" "W-w-well i didnt m-mean i-it like t-that!" he chuckled. "Well~ It sounded like it to me~" you blushed. "C'mon, lets get you cleaned up, and finally get you a normal outfit-" "Ok-" you put your robe back on and he finds his clothing again, and he leads you down the hallway into his bathroom. "Umm, here, you can start the shower and you can try using some of the wash there too. I- ill just close the door now- heh-" as he shut the door you blushed again, and you thought to yourself *ok... so i have a demon form- huh...* You stare at your new form in the mirror, you could get used to it- you get in the shower and start to wash your hair until you hear the door creak open... "Luci? Is that you?" "Luci please, im not in the mood right now" you hear a chuckle and everything goes dark.

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you blink your eyes open slowly as youre tied to a chair, the room seeming aquarium-like. then you hear a voice "You think she's awake yet? Im becoming so fucking impatient, why not just wake her up?" "Youre so fucking stupid val" "Oh really? youre calling butterfly over there stupid? have you seen your head? Its literally flat- no room for a brain whatsoever." "Excuse me-" "Shut the fuck up shes awake-" you see a shadowy figure approach you slowly "So... youre like lucifer's new servant, right? you see, we need you to do something." "Oh really? what? And you think i would actually help you now that you literally tied me to a chair while i was trying to take a fucking shower and clean myself." "well that wasnt my idea, so sorry that happened or whatever. anyways we need you to kill lucifer, or give us an opening to kill him. He doesnt even rule hell properly, but we will once we have the power." "So- you kidnapped me to just ask me that one question-?" "uh yeah-" "what the hell will i get then?" "idk like, 1 million dollars?" "yeah no-" "or we could kill you if you dont" that sent a chill down your spine. "Oh yeah? well not if i cant kill you first!" "really? what is a little maid gonna do? clean me to death?" he laughed "You know what, you could work for me, instead. You could make millions instead of not getting paid at all." "Again, no." you then get a more strange chill down your spine, someone else was in the room, you could sense someone behind you almost... *damn, demon hearing is something else* "guess we'll have to kill you then toots, jeez we offered you a better job and 1 million how are you that fucking loyal, all you do is clean shit that has to suck." "Who said I was a maid?" "Wait what?" you feel a warm presence behind you, you could tell it was a person. Then you see the Vs staring up behind you in shock and horror... "Hey- old pal! Uh, we were just making a deal with this lovely lady here..." you hear a demonic voice respond back "Oh really? Don't think for a second i wouldnt notice her missing. And ive known about your stupid little plan, its not happening." It was lucifer. "Lucifer?" "Im trying to get you out of here be quiet" "ill be taking her back now if you dont mind." "Since when did you care about sinners so much? is there something going on between you two? This one special to you or some shit?" "No, shes just my friend." vox started laughing "oh my god this will go trending for sure, velvette make a post or something." "God fucking damnit!" lucifer grabs you and puts you on his shoulder, and you teleport back home. "Why are they so annoying why cant they just leave me alone.." "I-ill just leave you to your thoughts-" you start to walk away until he grabs your arm. "please stay, i need you." you blushed "well, just let me get some clothes on first-" "right- sorry-" as you finished putting on a spare tshirt and shorts he had in his drawer for you to wear, you sat next to him on his bed. "Luci- are you ok?" "yeah! Just peachy! this morning my daughter got mad at me for replacing her mother, and now the whole internet in hell knows about us together! so im just fine." "Lucifer, i know alot has happened today but we both knew it wasn't going to stay a secret for long-" "yeah, there just never seems to be any privacy for the king of hell." "Luci please dont act like this. lets just go to bed." "Ok then..."

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You and Lucifer get in bed and cuddle up together under the cold sheets, finally one night you weren’t getting practically railed into his mattress… you couldn’t blame him though- the man had literally been touch starved for 7 years- *damn that must’ve been rough..* your eyelids then finally get heavier and heavier the more tired you get, you let out a final yawn before dosing off for the night…

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(A week passes by)

After spending a full week with Lucifer and the hotel, you get used to it, it feels like a big family in a way. You’ve stopped sleeping with Lucifer because you have been feeling under the weather for a few days now… he offered to take you to a doctor on multiple occasions but you politely declined, in a fear you would find out you had a severe illness or an incurable disease of some sort, you always feared the worst, given your anxiety. Then you got an idea- “Luci, I need to go to the store to buy some medications, I’ll be back soon!” “Oh- ok darling!” He was somewhat confused, since you haven’t been to a doctor recently about the issue, he was wondering what medicine you were picking up… you finally arrive at the store, you grab some pain medicines and some medicine to stop you from vomiting like crazy. You walk past some pregnancy tests and decide to take a few… *I know it’s probably going to be negative but I just want to make sure..* you remembered last time you and Luci had slept together… your eyes widened and you rushed home.

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Lucifer sits on the couch confused with his plate of pancakes as you sprint to the bathroom with the bag of tests. “Is everything ok?” “YEP! EVERYTHING IS GOOD- ILL BE OUT IN A SEC!” you shuffle through the small boxes and tear the tests out, take them, one by one, and wait. “Are you sure everything is fin-“ you cut him off “YES LUCIFER EVERYTHING IS FINE LIKE I SAID.” he put down his empty plate and walked up to the bathroom door, he could tell something was up. “Are you completely sure? You don’t need to keep anything from me-“ that sent a chill down your spine- he knew you were hiding something. “Can I come in?” “I- yes-“ you sigh and sit down with the completed test in your hand. He opens the door. “Wait- y/n are you-?” “I don’t know yet.” “Ok… I guess we’ll wait then. While we’re waiting, I want to talk to you-“ he sits down next to you. “Do you like me? You say you’ve been feeling sick but refuse to go to the doctor or get medicine, it feels like you’re trying to keep a distance from me. I also feel like you were keeping this from me for a reason- “ “Y-yes ofcourse- (you blushed a bit) I was only keeping this from you because I wasn’t sure how you would react.” “Oh-“ “And- honestly- no- I wasn’t feeling sick- I just. (You hesitate)” Lucifer had a worried look on his face “Are you going to leave me…? Like Lilith?” “No, never! I- just feel homesick- I had friends and family in heaven- and I miss them a lot- it reminds me of heaven when I hang out with you, you’re kind to me, and I mean not to mention but you’re hotter than Adam to say the least-“ “wait- Adam… were you two- married or something?” “Yeah- I was the best exterminator, he preferred me over lute, and we got married a few months after I had joined and climbed to the top.” “Hm- were you thinking of Adam? Is that the REAL reason you felt homesick?” “No, to be honest I don’t miss a thing about him, we got divorced before I fell- plus, I’d say you’re much better than him at a lot of things” you watched as his expression changed and his pride swallowed him “oh really? And what would those things be~” "it could be many things darling~" you got closer to him to tease him, but your timer for 5 minutes had finally gone off. "So- What's the result?" you sighed with relief, "Its negative." "Whew! I mean- not saying I wouldnt want another child- I just think its too early for one-" "yeah i feel the same" you both awkwardly paused. "Umm... Do you want to-" "YES." In a split second lucifer grabbed you and carried you bridal-style to the bedroom.

To be continued....

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OMG I HAVE SPENT TOO MUCH TIME ON THIS CHAPTER... IM STARTING CHAPTER FOUR THE SECOND AFTER I POST THIS THOUGH BC I KNOW YALL LOVE IT SO FAR :)

I really hope you guys enjoyed it, part 4 will be out it maybe a week if im lucky. And i will consider making a part 5 if you want this to be continued. (please ask me or give requests I really want to do side-fics because im bored just working on this one, dont worry im not dropping this fic though i just saying i want to multitask)

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TAGS:

[twatshag]

✿RUIN ME✿

Warnings: SMUT, DADDY KINK, edging, established relationship with !TIMESKIP! Suna rintaro

MINORS DNI

[11:30 PM]

You sighed while rolling your eyes as you put your phone down by the night stand. "Stupid fucking bet." You hissed.

If you were going to see another glimpse of a half assed 'good luck 🤭" message from your groupchat you might as well just throw your phone out your window.

I mean why were you doing it anyway? paying up to 360¥ per person Just because your best friends all made love with their boyfriends and you don't, doesn't make your sex life with Suna any less intimate and loving.

He knew what you liked and what you didn't like and that was enough proof right ?

No you wanted to shut their faces up and shock your boyfriend by just letting him relax and show you his love physically.

As funny as it is to say but Suna isn't the one who keeps fucking you shitless because, god does he try to take it slow with you. To show you his love through physical intimacy but you 'always want to be a damn brat' as he always says.

Always telling him that you need more of him, you beg him to go faster, to show you stars. For him to have his way with you. But sometimes he wishes to just kiss you deeply while giving you slow strokes for hours, appreciating your beautiful face and the way it shifts when he glides against your g-spot. He wants to be the only one who sees you like this.

But he didn't mind he was grateful for your beautiful fucked out face. The way you moaned his name was enough to make your wishes his command.

He'd always describe it as "bribing" or "straight up black magic" with the way you had him wrapped around your little finger.

Sometimes he would huff and pout after sex and tell you how he was excited to make love to you but you had to use "your black magic/bribing" mechanisms and ruin a sappy loving moment.

What a dork you smiled as you thought about him. Speaking of the devil there he was. The man responsible for you limping to your idiotic best friends when you all agreed to hang out, going to his games, going out of his games. The man responsible for you limping in general really.

Everyone thought he was the mean dom who just won't accept to fuck you less rough because he wants to have you corrupted but you both knew who really was the one responsible for your limping.

Suna smiled as he walked into your shared room locking eyes with you as his own laced with worry. Drying his hair from his shower. Abs on full display only wearing boxers.

Thank the gods for such a sexy boyfriend you thought.

"You wanted to talk princess ?" The bed dipped down as he sat next to your figure and he opened his arms for you so that he got a head start that you wanting to talk wasn't you breaking up with him.

Humming in response you snuggled closer to the 193 cm man and kissed his neck burying your face against his chest.

"Yeah, I wanted to ask you something." His hand now in your hair scratching your scalp and kissing the top of your head responding with a small "Hm?" Against your soft hair.

You looked up at him pulling away softly while biting your lip. he looked down at you, love and adoration lacing his eyes as he stared in yours smiling while still scratching your scalp softly. "Do you want to..well, make love to me?"

With that said his movement comes to a halt with wide eyes. last time you said something like this it ended up with him breaking the bed with you and he gave you the silent treatment for 5 hours because "you were a damn brat and had to fuck it up last minute." As he stated.

He rolled his eyes and flicked your forehead and pushed you off him softly. "Not falling for this again y/n."

As he got up and decided to finish getting dressed or he might just give in to your little games again.

"Rinnnnn I'm serious! I really want you to make love to me !!" You pouted following him like a lost puppy into the open closet.

He sighed as he searched for his sweats. "No, I am not going to do this again." Brushing past you to look in the other collection. You groaned mentally cursing yourself for always ruining a beautiful moment.

You whined as you hugged his bare back "But daddy-" oh at that ? He was listening he turned his head and body to face you faster than the speed of light. Because last time you did this you didn't call him daddy and you totally didn't sound as whiney as you do now.

He smirked at you "mm?" He leaned forward a bit just so you were at kissing height. "Daddy what? Princess?" You gulped already wet at the way his eyes sparkled with lust.

"I..want you to make love to me..daddy." suna loved seeing you like this. He loved seeing you beg for him. But there was something about fucking you so painfully slow for your own pace and stopping just when you finally feel that you're cumming made him harder than iron.

Smirking smugly he closed the 2 cm gap between the two of you, kissing you softly. Resting his forehead against yours.

"Okay, I'll play with you bunny. But are you sure you can take it?" You nodded against him "Yeah, I've taken worse before" he chuckled yeah that was your causing though he thought.

"Alright then lead the way pretty girl." Smiling sheepishly you grabbed his hand and interlocked your fingers with his and pushed him in the bed as you stripped.

He smirked at the sight of your skin becoming exposed by the mili-second. Wow you really wanted him to do it huh? He thought.

You got on top of him as he grabbed your waist settling you nicely on his hard member.

You moaned at the contact and kissed him hungrily as he smiled against your devouring.

Pulling away just as you were enjoying yourself, whimpering at the loss of his warmth. "You know that, when you want to attempt to make love you're supposed to kiss slowly and not try to eat my face up right?" He chuckled flipping you as you're now under him as he kissed you slowly and lovingly shutting you up from any comeback you had to throw at his statement.

You moaned as he slipped his tongue inside your mouth letting it explore the oh so familiar wetness and warmth.

His hand rested on your thighs squeezing it , moving his hand up slowly to the hem of your knickers letting it slide under the fabric where it rested on your hips.

He groaned against you as you grabbed his hand to show him your wet core through the fabric. Silently begging him to do something about your gushing cunt. But suna had no interest in rushing things.

Pulling away slightly to breathe and hearing you pant under him to move to your neck and give it the appreciation it deserves.

He moved his hand to knead your breast in between his beautiful strong veiny hands softly appreciating its warmth and softness sliding your bra down to pinch and play with your nipples while his tongue dragged against your neck.

You bucked your hips up at his hard member allowing the male ontop of you to groan as he pushed your hips down into the mattress so that you don't ruin his moment of pure body worship.

"Ahgnn- Rinnn" you whined as you desperately clung to his wet hair for grounding. As he sucked and nibbled on your neck making every shade against it.

Leaning in to kiss your earlobe as he whispered against it "shh let me love you pretty girl, I'll give you what you want, greedy baby." He cooed.

His hand reached to unclapse your bra and toss it to the side of the room. He buried his face in to your breast as he sucked and ran his tongue on it. Nibbling on your nipple to ignite the fire in you even more.

At that point you could've sworn you're a burning hungry for more-bonfire.

Moaning at the sudden contact your grip on his hair tightened throwing your head back a bit as he glided his tongue all the way to your earlobe biting softly at the skin and kissing it.

"Tell me what to do bunny hm? Where do you want me ?" His voice so raspy like that you wanted to scream for him to just fuck you right now but that meant losing the promise you made to yourself and your friends or rather the bet. You wanted to do something for him just like he always gives in to your greedy slut needs.

"Whatever you want to do to me daddy I'd accept it I just want to feel loved by you." was suna dreaming ? No he can't be right?

Just how long are you willing to keep this act up? But he didnt care even if it was an act he wants to enjoy it as much as he can while it lasts.

He pulled away as he stared wide eyed at your flushed face and panting figure. "Is that what you want bunny?" You nodded "Are you sure ?" You giggled at his concern as you wrapped your arms around his neck "mhm, one-hundred percent positive" he smirked kissing your lips innocently one last time before he decided to play along.

Oh how you wished it was as innocent as it seemed.

Suna dipped his head as he began to kiss your body down to the upper hem of your knickers biting it down to reveal your wet cunt and let it go as he kissed your clit through the fabric.

Moaning at the warmth against your throbbing core he looked up at you.

Savouring this memory of you in his head forever he decided that it's time to give you what you want.

He is making love to you after all.

He pulled your knickers off you slowly kissing each and every inch of your thighs, inner and outer, your knees, your ankles all the way until you were completely bare under him.

He smiled at your figure silently appreciating it.

"Hey, stop staring its embarrassing." You pouted at him deep shade of pink on the apples of your cheek the sight of you leaving the brunette chuckling as he lowered himself to kiss your lips as he hummed against your lips.

"You know this isn't the first time I see you naked right? And I sure hope it'll never be the last" he smiled as he leaned against you placing a sloppy kiss against your lips. The way he explored your mouth was hungry and full of lust.

He reached to pull your leg up so he had better access to your folds. Playing with your wet core as you let out a whimper against his lips.

"So wet for me, and I barely touched you bunny." Without warning he slipped a finger inside your throbbing hole allowing you to moan at the sudden contact.

It's been so long since you've seen Rintaro, with him on away games all the time your hole shrunk without his thick, long cock stretching you out.

And boy did he love the tightness of your small cunt against his finger. His cock swelled so badly at the feel of your hole clenching on his finger.

But of course suna was in no rush he pumped his finger into you slowly staring at the way your cunt kept swallowing and spitting out his finger.

Lewd sounds coming from your cunt at the action. You grinded against his hand wanting him to do more as he smirked.

"Will you ever let me enjoy one moment of appreciating your sexy body bunny? Why are you so greedy?" Pouting at you he leaned into your cunt as his hot breathe hit your clit.

You wanted to kick him. He was trying to break you so bad he wanted you to beg for him. But you wanted him to enjoy this. Oh boy was he enjoying this. Maybe too much even.

Silently begging for him to do something as if he could read your mind he licked your slit as he fingered you, hitting your spot flat with his finger tip.

Oh did he love tasting you, after all suna is human and even he is greedy sometimes. He wants to always, always taste more of you.

That's exactly what he did. Sucking and licking your clit leaving you a whimpering mess under him.

It boosted his ego so bad. "R-ahhgn-Rin please, god ye-s." You moaned against your orally gifted boyfriend.

Curling your toes as you felt you could literally die from the way he was hungrily handling you right now. He looked up at you, his snake like eyes staring you down enjoying the way your face would shift to various emotions pulling away to harshly spit against your clit perfectly.

As you jolted at the sudden wet 'slap' on your clit he attacked you hungrily adding another finger and curling them both so that they hit your spot perfectly as his tongue swirled onto your throbbing core. He moved your clit around and sucked on it while his fingers stretched you.

Feeling your high already approaching from the over stimulation of his actions you buckled your hips upwards moaning loudly.

"G-ah f-fuck i-m gonna cum Rin d-dont st-op." He was now aggressively thrusting his fingers into you and licking harder against your clit as you felt the knot in your stomach began to loosen the brunette decided to play a little game.

What was it? Oh to edge you. He pulled away as you moaned loudly in irration. "RINNNN.." you whined clearly annoyed at this. He chuckled as he shoved his fingers back into your wet cunt and curled them hitting your spot just like he was doing earlier.

"Shh bunny, be a good girl. Let me play with you." He smirked as you groaned at his statement. continuing to reach your high as he licked your pussy hungrily searching for something. God knows what exactly was he looking for with his tongue attached to your gushing cunt like that.

"Aaahgnn- y-es o-h god y-es Rin y-ehes ahh fuck mhmm, please let me cum ah!" You felt your high approaching once again as if your body was upset too that it didn't release its arousal, this time your body demanded to cum.

You felt yourself shake under suna. He knew what that mean. You were going to squirt and he loved watching you squirt for him but not when he's like this. Not when hes trying to break you first. Just as your wetness interrupted the cream on his fingers he pulled away immediately and looked up at you with his hungry eyes to see your reaction.

[12:10 AM]

Suna edged you as if you were his little pocket pussy for the next forty minutes. You cringed at yet another sign of yet another edge as suna decided to keep playing this dangerous no cumming game.

You let out a whimper and a sob. "F-for fuck's sake st-op edging m-me !" You spat at him as he smirked and got on top of you now face to face with the professional athlete.

"Then tell me what you want, bunny." Suna could do this for hours breaking your walls one by one because he was a sadist. He loved not letting you cum, edging you and frustrating you to point of begging.

You stared into his dark eyes they were gushing out lust. He wanted to fuck you, slow strokes and neck kisses maybe pick up his pace and let you cum on his cock but not today. Nootttttt todayyyyy he thought he wanted you to beg for him. To beg him to ruin you. Just like you always do.

You shifted your gaze blushing deeply at his gaze. "To make love to me suna." You rolled your eyes at him trying to hide your desire for him to just rail you.

He smirked at you "oh yeah? Okay I guess I'll keep eating you out then." He lowered himself but was deemed unsuccessful as you grabbed his face making him look up at you.

"N-no i want you to be inside me.." he smirked at you happy he broke two walls by now. One more to go he thought.

He lowered himself to give you a sloppy kiss, his tongue already on your lips and then your own as he rubbed your swollen clit. Harshly pulling out all the air your lungs saved with his kiss he decided to finally let you breathe again.

"I'll give you what you want bunny." He smirked, sitting up straight, grabbing you by the thighs to pull you closer to him or his swollen cock really.

You whimpered while biting your lip as he brought his cock along side your slit teasing you as if it was asking for entrance.

"Pl-ease j-just put it in- AHGN!" Suna decided to surprise you and push it deep into you without waiting.

Arching your back as his cock hit your cervix perfectly. He always filled you up to the brim.

As you finally thanked the gods for getting the thrusting you deserved suna had other plans.

He was in no rush so he began to kiss you. The lewd sounds of the way he groaned against your lips and tongue swirling aimlessly.

You clenched so roughly around him begging to be fucked and he knew that. But he wanted to hear it from you.

He wanted to edge and tease you as long as it took for you to beg for friction.

"R-in please.." he hummed in response as he sucked on your neck and massaged your breast and adjusted himself so he was in the perfect position to cockwarm you.

"Stop teasing m-ah-Me." He smiled against your breast "hmm? if i recall correctly you said you wanted me to do anything i wanted to do to you bunny. Isn't that right?" he said between kisses and licks you whimpered as he bit your nipples and tugged the sensitive bud between his teeth rolling his hips to tease your spot.

"P-please j-just f-ah f-uck me." you whisper moaned. Ah there it is, suna thought.

truth is you gave up trying to make love with suna along time ago because it never worked out suna was an edger and a teaser. only giving in when you begged him to. And well, you were like putty in his hands and you hated not finishing.

"hmm? i can't hear you princess." he smirked as he contiued rolling his hips sitting up as he stared at your flushed frustrated face. this was gonna end in two ways he told himself.

one> you were going to keep this act up for another 15 minutes until breaking

two> you were going to break right about...

"I WANT YOU TO RUIN ME SUNA RINTARŌ!"

..now

he widened his eyes at the desperation lacing your tone but he smirked because that's exactly where he wanted you. he lowered his face staring intensely into your eyes "I thought you'd never ask." and at that he was thrusting sharply into you.

you yelped at the sudden rush of adrenaline his dick had runting into you. Pain mixing in with pleasure.

Suna was big..Bigger than the average person and if it was possible for him to rip you apart he was doing just that.

you moaned loudly as he grabbed your hips roughly, thrusting into you as if he wanted to kill you with his dick.

"F-fuck you're so tight-ah shit. You damn brat, Always begging me to fuck you like a whore." he knew just how slutty you were for him, for his cock.

he loved to break you, salvoured every moment he got as he broke you. you moaned at his pace and the way his cock was banging against your cervix making you roll your eyes backwards, mouth drooling from the overstimulation.

"God look at your whore face so fucked out already. I love it, No I'm obsessed with it." he leaned in to kiss you deeply. Even though suna's thrusts were the exact opposite of loving his kiss was truly something else.

you panted trying to escape his runting and sharp circles being drawn on the sensitive bundle of nerves by attempting to push him as your hand weakly rested on his toned stomach.

"Sl-ow D-down R-Rin." you whined against his hips.

Suna loves when you tell him to slow down because that is his green card. He had you exactly where he wanted you . He now has full access to fuck you into oblivion.

And that's excatly what he did. He runted into you hungerly making you scream and cling onto him for balance.

nails digging deeply into his back as you threw your head back and he sucked and bit harshly at your neck.

"You take my cock so well princess mhm, you're so good for me. you like that huh ? you like when i fuck you like this huh ? Such a dirty whore for me bunny." sitting up straight to have better access to your spot to thrust into as he wrapped his defined hand around your throat.

"A-h a- oh my - god Ye-s D-daddy Y-es pLea-se yES!" You moaned loudly as he kept his bone crushing pace up. His stamina was insane. For such a lazy person he'd always have enough energy to fuck the hell out of you.

Feeling your hole clench hardly around him he smirked knowing you were going to be cumming soon so he grabbed both of your thighs pushing them against your chest and keeping you in that position.

you laid perfectly for his eyes to see the way your cunt swallowed him whole. "I-m g-on-naaahh- mhhmm - I'm cumming daddy P-lease." your legs were shaking violenty because of the position you were in and the easy access he got to hit your gspot and the spot to allow you to squirt in one go. groaning at the way you clenched and how your walls were like heaven against his cock.

"F-fuck, agnh- You're clenching so hard around me, bunny. Let daddy see you squirt. I wanna see you cum and squirt for me baby." he sucked his bottom lip in as he felt his high approaching the harder you clenched.

he reached to your clit letting your throat go and he began to rub circles as fast as he could and pounded faster in you.

throwing your head back. You saw stars, eyes crossed completely fucked out of your brain moaning loudly as you unraveled and dug your nails deeper into his skin. the knot in your stomach finally broken. as his thrusts got sloppier pulling out to cum on your stomach.

As Suna pulled out once you both came, he shoved two of his fingers inside you curling them and thrusting into your sweet spot mercilessly giving you no room for coming down off your high.

making you shake and try to escape from his fingers he grabbed your hip with one hand silently telling you to take it.

"R-IN AAA-hhhhh P--l-e-aseee S-s-st-AAAAAHHHH" you shaked as you squirted all over his body. he kept shoving his fingers into you trying to rob every little drop of water inside of you.

"Thaaaaat's it baby, that's it let me see you squirt." he finally pulled his fingers out of your poor weak hole after the bed sheets were drenched and so was he.

you panted as your legs were shaking violently bringing your hands to your face to try to come off your high and to process what you just felt.

Suna moved your hands out of the way as your eyes shot open and he smiled at you. "Well? Have we learned our lesson?" you rolled your eyes at him and hit his chest "Shut up, it was your fault that i was so needy!" he chuckled kissing your lips as he said in between kisses "I wasn't the one who said ruin me." "I said shut up".

He pulled your blushing figure into his chest as he cuddled you and lifted your chin up to look at him.

"I love you, pretty baby." making you blush even more he decided that teasing you can be done at anytime just not now. Kissing you deeply as he enjoyed the warmth you raidiated for him.

cuddling you closer as you drifted off to sleep in his arms, vowing to himself that he'll always be the one to make you moan like you did.

------------------------------------

[ 12:30 PM]

BONUS

you groaned at the sharp pain in your legs as you tried to drag yourself out of your bed to the kitchen.

Suna thought you needed all the rest you could take because he knew this would happen.

he smiled at your grumpy figure walking around mumbling curses under your breath as you literally dragged your self around clutching any surface for support as you entered the kitchen.

You felt Suna's gaze on you ignoring his smug stupid smirk that you saw from the corner of your eyes.

"Wow and what happened to you there bunny?" you had about enough of his shit you were limping because of HIM and he had the nerve to ask you about it!

"I really don't want to talk to you right now Suna. You broke my hip."

He chuckled standing up and walking over to your leaning figure against the counter and wrapped his hands around your waist kissing your shoulder and pulling your ass towards his hard cock as your breath hitched.

he brought his lips to your ears letting his breath shiver down your spine. "You know..i think i can readjust your broken hip for you bunny.."

Suna Rintarō was going to be the death of you. But you didn't mind. at least you had him even though each of your friends were now 360¥ richer.

It still didn't matter because he was here and that is all you needed.

---------------------------------------------------

A/N: Heyyy sorry yall i've been so busy with exams :( this was inspired by my irl friends LMFAOOO they aint shit i do be freaky but they ain't have to say it like dat..💔 hope you guys enjoyed!!-kira

[default-cube]

So I've never actually seen /u/ryans01 excellent post re-posted here on tumblr, and I think it could help a lot of people, so I'll repost it below. Link to the original

Ouch. Sounds like you're having a tough time max. That sucks. I've been there, so I kinda know what you're talking about. I've been in the ever circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing. It's no bueno. I know. If you don't mind lemme tell you a couple things. You can read em if you want, read em again later if you feel like it. But honestly man, if I spend all this time typing this out to you and you don't let it be a little tinder for your fire, well, you're just letting us both down. And you don't HAVE to do that. You don't HAVE to do anything. But you get to choose.

(Who am I? My name’s Ryan and I live in Canada. Just moved to a new city for a dream job that I got because of the rules below. I owe a lot of my success to people much cooler, kinder, more loving and greater than me. When I get the chance to maybe let a little bit of help out, it’s a way of thanking them. )

Rule numero uno - There are no more zero days. What's a zero day? A zero day is when you don't do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I'm not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt' do anything all fucking day and it's 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you're in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that's what you're used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn't happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That's rule number one. Do not forget.

La deuxieme regle - yeah i learnt french. its a canadian thing. please excuse the lack of accent graves, but lemme get into rule number 2. BE GRATEFUL TO THE 3 YOU'S. Uh what? 3 me's? That sounds like mumbo jumbo bullshit. News flash, there are three you's homeslice. There's the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you's are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you've done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro. Feeling like shit today? Stop a second, think of a good decision you made yesterday. Salad and tuna instead of Big Mac? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Was yesterday a nonzero day because you wrote 200 words (hey, that's all you could muster)? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Saved up some coin over time to buy that sweet thing you wanted? THANK YOU. Second part of the 3 me's is you gotta do your future self a favour, just like you would for your best fucking friend (no best friend? you do now. You got 2. It's future and past you). Tired as hell and can't get off reddit/videogames/interwebs? fuck you present self, this one's for future me, i'm gonna rock out p90x Ab Ripper X for 17 minutes. I'm doing this one for future me. Alarm clock goes off and bed is too comfy? fuck you present self, this one's for my best friend, the future me. I'm up and going for a 5 km run (or 25 meter run, it's gotta be non zero). MAKE SURE YOU THANK YOUR OLD SELF for rocking out at the end of every.single.thing. that makes your life better. The cycle of doing something for someone else (future you) and thanking someone for the good in your life (past you) is key to building gratitude and productivity. Do not doubt me. Over time you should spread the gratitude to others who help you on your path.

Rule number 3- don't worry i'm gonna too long didnt' read this bad boy at the bottom (get a pencil and piece of paper to write it down. seriously. you physically need to scratch marks on paper) FORGIVE YOURSELF. I mean it. Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn't do it. Now you're giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being dissapointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? so what. I forgive you previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one's for you future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud.

Last rule. Rule number 4, is the easiest and its three words. exercise and books. that's it. Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. when you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). when you exercise you clear your mind. when you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we've all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. Get some books max. Post to reddit about not caring about yourself? Good first step! (nonzero day, thanks younger me for typing it out) You know what else you could do? Read 7 habits of highly successful people. Read "emotional intelligence". Read "From good to great". Read “thinking fast and slow”. Read books that will help you understand. Read the bodyweight fitness reddit and incorporate it into your workouts. (how's them pullups coming?) Reading is the fucking warp whistle from Super Mario 3. It gets you to the next level that much faster.

That’s about it man. There’s so much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days, but that’s not your mission right now. Your mission is nonzero and forgiveness and favours. You got 36 essays due in 24 minutes and its impossible to pull off? Your past self let you down big time, but hey… I forgive you. Do as much as you can in those 24 minutes and then move on.

I hope I helped a little bit max. I could write about this forever, but I promised myself I would go do a 15 minute run while listening to A. Skillz Beats Working Vol. 3. Gotta jet. One last piece of advice though. Regardless of whether or not reading this for the first time helps make your day better, if you wake up tomorrow, and you can’t remember the 4 rules I just laid out, please, please. Read this again.

Have an awesome fucking day ☺

tldr; 1. Nonzero days as much as you can. 2. The three you’s, gratitude and favours. 3. Forgiveness 4. Exercise and books (which is a sneaky way of saying self improvement, both physical, emotional and mental)

Edit: Wow reddit gold? Thanks! No idea what to do with it or whats the deal but many thanks!

Edit2: Someone asked what I meant by "much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days". The long and short of it is a simple truth, but it's tough to TOTALLY UNDERSTAND AND PRACTICE. It's this: you become what you think. This doesnt mean if I think of a tree, I'll be oakin' it by august. It means that the WAY you think, the THINGS you think of, and the IDEAS YOU HOLD IN YOUR MIND defines the sum total that is you. You procrastinate all the time and got fear and worry goin on for something? You are becoming a procrastinator. You keep thinking about how much you want to run that 5 k race in the spring and finish a champion? Are ya keeping it in mind all the time? Is it something that is defining your ACTIONS and influencing you DECISIONS? If it is, then you're becoming the champion you're dreaming about. Dreaming about it makes it. Think and it shall be. But do not forget that action is thought's son. Thoughts without actions are nothing. Have faith in whatever it is you've steeled your mind to. Have faith and follow through with action.

Ok, Ryan that's a bunch of nice words n shit, but how does that help me turn slightly nonzero days into hugely nonzero days. Do you believe all these words you just read? Does it makes sense to you that you BECOME WHAT YOU THINK OF? Ask yourself: What do I think of? When you get home and walk in the door. (how quickly did you turn that laptop on? Did turning it on make you closer to your dreams? What would?) At the bus stop. Lunch break. What direction are you focusing your intentions on? If you're like I was a few years ago, the answer was either No direction, or whatever caught my eye at the moment. But no stress, forgive yourself. You know the truth now. And knowing the truth means you can watch your habits, read books on how you think and act, and finally start changing your behaviour. Heres an example: Feeling like bunk cause you had zero days or barely nonzero days? THINK ABOUT WHAT YOURE DOING. and change just a little bit more. in whatever positive direction you are choosing to go.

Edit3: WHOA! This blew up! Major appreciation to Modified_Duck for making this cool ass image: http://i.imgur.com/7xsp7hJ.png

Edit4: Another AMAZING DESKTOP BACKGROUND! http://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/1rowpb/i_made_a_wallpaper_from_uryans01s_amazing_quote/

[skinnyghosttears]

May 8, 2021

9:08 am

Feeling skinny this morning, Im less bloated but I'll wait lunch time for weight myself.

I already planned to eat light tomorrow because I'll make some cinnamon buns for Mother's day so I'll eat one. Mom want to do a risotto with radish for lunch and I'll have a very light soup for dinner, it should be fine. I wanted to drink some soy milk this morning but Im enjoying not feeling too much bloated so nvm lmao.

I'll maybe go to the store because we finished the butter and I need it for tomorrow, but idk if I feel good enough for go with the bike.

I thought aa lot about my current situation and I feel stuck, I binged so I havent lost weight in the past days (and if I did idk because bloating), my therapist now is more aware of this problem so she will try to convince me to see a specialist, and idk how much time I have until mom will be that worried too. I felt awful when I bought the skirt the other day, like I was feeling not worthy enough to have it. So ig I can lose maybe another 5kg before they'll try to stop me somehow. Idk what I'll do from that on. At the same time I dont have a friend that will listen to me about this as I want, so my mind is completely free to mess with me rn.

I had the worst idea to tell to my father how much I lost and he yelled at me that im fucking crazy and he will force me to eat. Ironic how he started only after I said a number when he praised me so much until now because now Im in a better shape, and most importantly he bodyshame my mom all the time so he literally have no fucking right to tell me a single thing.

Im gonna ignore him all day, I dont fucking care, he didnt cared at all untilvnow so shut. the. fuck. up.

1:09 pm

Burned 182kcal walking in the living room while my parents were out, my dad is now acting like nothing happened and so will I, god I just want to cry and scream. I'll go out after lunch so I can stay away from him for a while.

I weighted myself again before startig to rat and I was 59,35? Is the scale drunk or what-

2:33 pm

Mom will come with me to the store, so I'll drive a little instead of going with the bike.

I drcided to have a come soy milk with cereals as a snack when I'll be back, I deserve it, I want it and most importantly, if my father see me eating that he will shut up.

Im happy to see I actually lost some weight even if ai binged like a pig a couple of days ago, tomorrow I'll probably be extremely bloated because of the pizza but I have to remember its ok.

3:25 pm

Already at home, I decided to replace my snack with some hero marmelade, the entire jar has the same calories as thr other stuff I wanted and it will surely fill me better. I'll maybe walk more since my parents will go out again. I dont want to do a workout, and Im still under 900 with my plan so its fine.

6:00 pm

My parents just came back home, I burned more and Im almost at 400kcal, I will surely reach it walking the dogs.

8:01 pm

Burned a total of 451kcal, not bad since I didnt use the cyclette today. Im gonna eat my first entire pizza since february :') mom wants to eat a piece of cake after it, but its one she bought so I can check calories and if I can eat a piece (spoiler: I surely cant, Im gonna make a tea or a coffee or idk).

10:22 pm

Aaaand I binged. Not too much, Im still in deficit ig, and I font want to feel guilty.

Im ok, I took my time for eat, not like the other times. I'll make some tea now, and tomorrow I'll just stick to the plan.

Everything is ok.

11:34 pm

I had a lot of water and tea, I honestly dont feel full because of food so Im not feeling that guilty. I kinda crave stuff but tomorrow Ihave to bake stuff because of mother's day so why I should eat bow if tomorrow I can eat a yummy thing I'll do by myself? Exactly, Its not necessary.

Im not sure I'll weight myself, but who knows, it depends on how much bloated I'll be.

Goodnight!

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot

posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them

-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life

-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?

-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)

-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance

-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons

-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner

-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here

-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person

-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)

-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??

-LISBETH 🥺💙

-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)

-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂

-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo

-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen

-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent

-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)

-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)

-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)

-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂

-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh

-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that

-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo

-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject

-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?

-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit

-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭

-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep

-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!

-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂

-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻

-okay wtf is mirror bay??

-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also

-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)

-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that

-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them

-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)

-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)

-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible

-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom

-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻

-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo

-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)

-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it

-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)

-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)

-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home

-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)

-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them

-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)

and lastly

-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)

[freshsliceoflemon]

1 | Projects and Objects

James Madison recently gotten a number from one of his classmates, since the two have a project due next week. Turns out, the number is incorrect which leads him into talking to a total stranger, and then into an absolute disaster.

____

This is a college + modern + text/chat AU. It's a slow burn fanfiction, too, but not including Burr and Lee's relationship along with Hercules and Lafayette's. Madison/Jefferson/Hamilton ship. Warning: Cursing. _______________________

***-***-**** (3:55) P.M): Hello, Molly, this is James Madison. You gave me your number in class in regards to the group project we were recently assigned to. Since it is our duty to work together as partners, I hope we can come to an agreement where we have little to no social interaction at all.

??? (4:01 P.M): wot

???: Oh yeh

???: Think you have the wrong number, my dude

???: Yeah*

***-***-****: Pardon?

***-***-***: I have checked the number three times already.

???: Lmao molly gave you a fake number

???: she isn’t interested in u

***-***-****: Why should she be, anyway? I am not interesting in the slightest. We’re just partners for a project that we were assigned. Don’t assume.

***-***-****: Please disregard my rude interruption from whatever you were doing, I shall proceed to erase your number from my contacts and we will carry on like this never happened.

???: What

???: Noo dude wiat

???: James

???: jAmes

???: JAMES ANSWER ME THEERE’s A FIRE

***-***-****: If there is a fire, you should have called the fire department.

???: I just wanted to text u, sheesh >:^

***-***-**** (4:10): What is that.

??? : What is what ???: The emoji thingie??

???: Smh

???: I want to be your friend!! can we be friends????

***-***-****: Why? There is no reason for us to be, I just managed to get the wrong number.

???: I’m thomas!! Thomas Jefferson!!!

???: C’mon, let’s be friends! You seem like a cool guy

???: And a nerd, and nerds are my type ;))

***-***-****: What.

***-***-****: Whatever. I have no interest in pursuing a relationship with you, Jefferson. We don’t know each other at all, and I do not have time for friends. This project is worth half of my semester grade, and I will not be failing because of this foolery.

???: Smhhh

???: Seriously?? no time for friends

???: That’s really sad, my dude

???: well, guess what

***-***-****: What, pray tell?

???: Your my best friend now >:DD

***-***-***: You’re*.

***-***-****: And no, how does one simple interaction make you my “best friend”?

???: You’re my best friend now, shut up

***-***-****: Are you serious?

???: I’ll prove it to you then!!! watch!

***-***-****: What.

______

       Macaroni Fxcker added ***-***-**** to Anatomical Lasers

Macaroni Fxcker (4:11 PM): Guys!!! tell james that I’m his best friend and that he can never deny it!!

A.Hammy: what

A.Hammy: dude who did you add

Macaroni Fxcker: My bestest best friend james

smile the fk more: I thought I was your best friend, Thomas

Macaroni Fxcker: Youre my second best friend don’t worry

A.Hammy: who did you add jefferson

Macaroni Fxcker: James!! say hii!

Baguetteroni: Hi James

***-***-****: Jefferson, why did you add me to this?

Baguetteroni: Wow

Macaroni Fxcker: I wanted to prove to you that im your best friend >:|!!

A.Hammy: smh..

A.Hammy: did you kidnap someone? again?

Macaroni Fxcker : Uh, no

smile the fk more: Thomas, are you lying

Macaroni Fxcker: I’m not!!

Macaroni Fxcker: damn now i have to convince yall that im not lying

***-***-****: What.

***-***-****: You kidnapped someone before?

A.Hammy: ugh we talked about this before jefferson

A.Hammy: so, “james”, what’d you do to get kidnapped by thomas jefferson???

***-***-****: I wasn’t kidnapped.

Macaoni Fxcker: Yeh!!! he said that he didnt have time for friends soo

       Seabunny is now online.

Seabunny: Whaat? But everyone needs friends :^

Leelee: omg stop fucking spamming my notifications guys

smile the fk more: Charles, mute the chat if you dislike the notifications

Leelee: shut up

smile the fk more: Yeah, I’ll shut up alright Leelee: oh no.

       smile the fk more is now offline.

Leelee: oh n o

Seabunny: So James! What’s your zodiac sign?? favourite animal???

Baguetteroni: Oooooo whats ur favourite color??????

***-***-****: what have you done jefferson

Macaroni Fxcker: I added you to my group chat duh

Macaroni Fxcker: I thought you were smart or somethin

       ***-***-**** has left Anatomical Lasers

       Macaroni Fxcker added ***-***-**** to Anatomical Lasers

A.Hammy: bruh

Seabunny: ó .ò

Seabunny : What about favourte herbal tea?????

Leelee: wooow.

       ***-***-**** has left Anatomical Lasers

Macaroni Fxcker: Omg stop

       Macaroni Fxcker added ***-***-**** to Anatomical Lasers

       ***-***-**** has left Anatomical Lasers Macaoni Fxcker: Bitch Seabunny: Oop-

       Macaroni Fxcker added ***-***-**** to Anatomical Lasers Macaroni Fxcker: You should change your nickname Macaroni Fxcker: Numbers are boring, james >:|

***-***-****: Numbers are not boring and never will be. Just let me leave.

       ***-***-**** has left Anatomical Lasers

A.Hammy : Stp A.Hammy : fuck i meant stop* A.Hammy: it’s getting annoying

Leelee: lmao fucker Herc’s a femboy: Woah we have a new person 😳😳😳        Macaroni Fxcker added ***-***-**** to Anatomical Lasers Macaroni Fxcker: Look, james Macaroni Fxcker: I won’t stop until you stay Seabunny: Yeah!! I tried leaving a bunch of times before but I was never able to leave :>!! ***-***-****: Whatever, I give up. I have things to tend to, anyway. Baguetteroni: Like what        ***-***-**** is now offline. A.Hammy: damn jefferson A.Hammy: you made him mad lmaoo Macaroni Fxcker: I didn’t make him mad >:((((( ______        Macaroni Fxcker is now online. Macaroni Fxcker (5:43 PM): Jamesss are you alive?? Macaroni Fxcker (5:49 PM): Hellloooo??        A.Hammy is now online. A.Hammy: smh A.Hammy: cant you just dm him or some shit Macaroni Fxcker: I feel lonely right now so no >:(( A.Hammy: you’re overdramatic Macaroni Fxcker: You’re a cold blooded tiger shark, idiot A.Hammy: you frivolous wanna-be movie trope Macaroni Fxcker: Bruh you’re just a fuckinsnasdasdkasdjjjdjksdj,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, A.Hammy: what. A.Hammy: answer me A.Hammy: what the hell were you about to say A.Hammy: bitch Macaroni Fxcker: Whoopsie doodlie i dropped my computer on my face teehee o3o A.Hammy: how the hell do you do that? A.Hammy: actually don’t respond A.Hammy: it’s obvious that you of all people would do that Macaroni Fxcker: Ouch, hamilton,, you wound me A.Hammy: i sure hope i do.        Herc’s a femboy is now online. Herc’s a femboy: Kinky ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Macaroni Fxcker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) A.Hammy: shut the up Macaroni Fxcker: Excuse me?!?!!?1? A.Hammy: you’re excused Macaroni Fxcker: Humph >:| Herc’s a femboy: Lol gotta go Herc’s a femboy: I still need to finish sewing the scarf Macaroni Fxcker: Byeee A.Hammy: bye A.Hammy: have fun

       Herc’s a femboy is now offline.

       ***-***-**** is now online.

Macaroni Fxcker: Omg james it’s been so looong how are youu? ***-***-****: It’s been at least an hour since we last spoke, Jefferson. Macaroni Fxcker: Ugh only seeing numbers as your name is boooring ***-***-****: Numbers are not boring. A.Hammy: they’re not as boring as your mom tho Macaroni Fxcker: aLex we don’t know anything about james mom don’t say that DD:< A.Hammy: chill A.Hammy: whyre you so mad lmfaoo Macaroni Fxcker: >.> Macaroni Fxcker: James james james james change your nammmeee already ***-***-****: Why, exactly? Macaroni Fxcker: Changing your nickname thingie makes it less likely for you to leave!! Macaroni Fxcker: And i wanna know what creative things you can come up with!        A.Hammy has changed ***-***-****’s nickname to loser Macaroni Fxcker: Wtf hamilton A.Hammy: hahh loser loser: Sigh. loser: If you insist on me changing my nickname, then;        loser changed their name to Pluto A.Hammy: wow so amazing A.Hammy: i bet flat earthers love you

Pluto: What a shame, seeing as how you haven’t confessed to me yet. A.Hammy: what the shit no A.Hammy: smh i don’t support flat earthers Macaroni Fxcker: Woah. Pluto: “Woah”? Macaroni Fxcker: How small are you?? A.Hammy: i swear if you’re taller than me i’m going to kick you into next wednesday Macaroni Fxcker: I meant height btw Pluto: I’m 5’4. Why is this information necessary? Macaroni Fxcker: omg A.Hammy: i Macaroni Fxcker: omg omg omg you finally found someone shorter than you hammy A.Hammy: don’t fucking call me hammy Macaroni Fxcker: Hey, pluto Pluto: Yes? Macaroni Fxcker: Welcome. you have officially joined this group chat! we should celebrate Pluto: Thank you, I suppose. A.Hammy: yeah, welcome A.Hammy: i sure hope you enjoy your stay A.Hammy: because you aren’t getting out of here alive Pluto: I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you.

[parkaiur]

The Dark Hour - Seunghun

❀ Fantasy, fluff, & action 

❀ Word Count: 9.2 K

❀ Every day at midnight, Earth opens up a portal to an unknown underground lair that leaks monsters: demons, goblins, hellhounds and more. The catch? It only happens for one extra hour after midnight, called the Dark Hour and it’s only open to a handful of people, the same people. One night, you find yourself snuggling up to your Winnie the pooh blanket, only to be greeted by a rabid, three-headed dog shooting through your window.

❀ A/N: .. I didnt mean to write this much but omg i hope you guys enjoy this cuz it took a while !! :D tell me what you think of it ! :)

-------

11:35 pm

“Did you take out the trash? It’s almost the Dark Hour.” My mom hummed. I rolled my eyes and spat out the toothpaste in my mouth.

“Mom, don’t be so dramatic, the Dark Hour is only open to a small group of people who are like freaky mixed martial artists or some weird whatever.” I said while tying up my hair into a high pony.

I walked out of my room and saw my mom sitting at the dinner table knitting a scarf. She slapped my butt as I walked past her. “I’m not dramatic! It’s still scary knowing that for one hour, we disappear as other people can see the entire world.”

I just sighed and grabbed a jacket. I pulled out all the trash and slipped on my shoes. “Ok mom, think whatever you want, I’ll be back in like 5 seconds and no monsters will be in my way.” I shut the door and walked into the cold winter air. I whistled on my way, feeling calm.

As soon as I could think, I knew the world I was living in. Every day at midnight, Earth opens up a portal to an unknown underground lair that leaks monsters: demons, goblins, hellhounds and more, The catch? It only happens for one extra hour after midnight, called the Dark Hour and it’s only open to a handful of people, but only the same people.

My mom was one of the many people who were afraid of portal opening up to normal humans as well.. Somehow, those who were chosen to hunt these monsters were trained. Most of them who went through the Dark Hour came back alive. They had hid the Dark Hour for a long time until more and more people were being called to fight.

But normal people never get sucked in. All the Hunters know they would be called, so they prepared for it. No one knows why this happens, but I wasn’t about to argue about why normal humans weren’t called.

I tossed the trash away and looked around. I sighed as I saw nothing spooky, just the normal neighbors who had not yet taken down their Christmas lights. Mom is scared for nothing.

I walked back in and dusted my hands off. “Yeah mom, totally fought off a seven foot demon, such hard work.” I faked yawned and stretched out my limbs to add to my act. She tsked and threw piece of string at me. “Whatever miss sass, just go to bed, you have a long day at work tomorrow.” I sighed, but knew she was right.

“Ok, ok, night mom. I will see you in the morning. Sleep, soon, alright, so that the monsters don’t get yo-” She picked up her stuff and walked into her room, sick of my sarcasm. I chuckled but knew she was just being dramatic. There were absolute zero cases of normal people attending the Dark Hour, so what was she so scared of?

I shrugged out of my jacket and straightened out my bed. I pulled my winnie the pooh blanket closer and shut my eyes.

I listened to the soft sound of the wind blowing outside. It was a peaceful night: no rain, no snow, no anything. I was grateful because I had a long day tomorrow.

I lulled off to bed, feeling myself falling into a dream. 

*BOOM*

My eyes shot open.

What was tha-

Before I could finish my thought, a loud crash erupted throughout my room, waking me up fully.

“What the fuck!?” I screamed. I grabbed the pepper spray and turned.

Bad idea. As I turned to face my window, I saw blood and lots of unknown liquid surrounding it. And on the ground I saw a rabid, three-headed dog glaring me down. I screamed and fell back into my bed, dropping my pepper spray.

“GET DOWN!” I didn’t know where the voice came from, but I was acting purely on instinct now. I jumped off my bed and into the corner of my room. I heard loud gunshot noises, but as I looked up, I saw lasers shooting through the air.

I shut my eyes and huddled against the wall. What is going on? What is happening-

“HEY! What are you doing?!” I heard the same voice yell at me. I heard footsteps nearing me, making me gasp in surprise. I grabbed my pepper spray and raised it, turning my face away from the intruder like I was taught in self-defense class. “What the...” The person, who I recognized as a male, grabbed my spray, and tossed it.

“Don’t hurt-”

As I turned my face towards the intruder, I was shocked. I was staring at a tall, brown-haired boy with warm and serious eyes. He was wearing all black and had a some sort of vest over him, similar to a bulletproof one. If this was another situation, I would be very happy about a hot guy standing in my room, but I couldn’t because I was almost killed.

“What were you planning to do with that pepper spray? Kill me? What a lousy weapon!” The boy exclaimed annoyedly. I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Well excuse me, it’s not like I carry guns in my room or something!” I spat back, suddenly irritated with his behavior. He shot me a look, saying I was dumb.

“You definitely should start doing that, what do you plan on fighting with? Did you just forget to get in uniform before midnight? And were you just sleeping? How irresponsible of you.” He spat while cleaning off his knives as he paced around my room.

I squinted my eyes at him. All black uniform. Guns and other weapons on his person. Intense gaze. Killed a three-headed dog.

“Fuck... it’s the Dark Hour.” I whispered. He scoffed and shook his head.

“Well, duh, it is midnight. Wait...” He stopped speaking and stared at me intensely. “This can’t be...” He started walking over to me and grabbed my wrist, pulling me close to him. “Is this your first time in the Dark Hour?”

I nodded, scared of what was going on. “Yup. Very first.” His eyes widened in surprise, dropping my wrist.

“How old are you?”

“I’m eighteen.”

He then kicked a desk and yelled, “Shit!” I flinched at his kick, but I still was numb. How could I be here? I’m not a Hunter-

“So you’re not a Hunter?” I shook my head slowly. His gaze turned distraught and he groaned in distress loudly.

Then, he turned to look at me very seriously.

“If you’re not a Hunter, you’re going to die out there.” He pointed outside to where I saw numerous monsters walking around. Blood was oozing all over the streets and I saw other quick, agile, strong, Hunters fighting them off. That was not me. 

I really was going to die.

“Well, fuck, I can’t go out there then!” I protested.

He shook his head. “You have no choice! They will come here and find you, only more will come. They are addicted to the smell of blood, we only have a short amount of time until the Hunters down there lose track of one and it comes back up here.” I could tell he was frustrated as he paced around my room, wondering what to do with me.

Then, he stopped and looked at me seriously once more. “Ok, my first priority is surviving. My second is dealing with whoever you are, but if you were called to the Dark Hour, then you must have some fight in you.”

I shrugged and caught the gun he threw in my hand. “Or so we hope.” He scoffed.

“Yeah, or so we hope.”

❀ ❀ ❀

It’s like the whole world was cracked open. None of the streetlights were on, yet I could see perfectly fine.

“No electricity works in the Dark Hour.” He informed like he was talking to a child. Suddenly, I saw a glimpse of some skin as his long sleeve caught in the wind.

“You have lots of tattoos.” I noted. He glared at me.

“You have the same ones. Everyone in the Dark Hour has them. It acts as protection from the monsters.” At his words, I rolled up my hoodie and saw the same black swirls he had all over his arm. I gasped and yanked it back down. “It’ll fade when the hour is over. Now, if you see a monster, shoot it. If it doesn’t die, shout my name.”

“And what would that be?” He smiled and shook his head.

“It’s Seunghun.” I nodded. “I’m y/n.” Before I could say anything else, a dark and shadowy figure appeared out of nowhere. I raised my gun and shot it, five times in the head. I felt shaky as it fell to the ground.

“Oh my god, I just killed someo-”

“Don’t finish that sentence.” He snapped. I nodded and shut my mouth. I wouldn’t anger a Hunter. “You just killed a demon. Something that would have killed you if you hadn’t killed it first.” He gripped my shoulder, pulling me together. I nodded and hid my fear. He then gave me hard pats on the back. I tried not to cough as he started to run towards something.

I held my gun to the ground in fear I would accidentally shoot him.

“Seunghun, who’s your new friend?” Someone shouted over to him. I looked over and saw another boy who looked a bit younger than Seunghun. I noted his smiling face and goofy nature. I wondered how he was a Hunter.

“Her name is y/n, and she’s not a Hunter. I’ll explain later but first we need to protect her.” The other boy’s jaw dropped.

“Woah woah woah wait, you’re normal?!” He basically screamed. I nodded while his face turned to an ash color. “Oh shit, is this is what the government are resorting to? Great.”

Wait..

“Did you just say government?” The two boys looked at each other and laughed.

“We’ll explain later, but the way, I’m Jihoon.” I reached out to shake his hand, but realized it was covered in monster juice. I cringed and pulled my hand back. “It’s fine, I forgot you were new here.”

As Jihoon was talking, he turned and took out his sword simultaneously, slicing the monster in half. I gulped as monster guts splashed everywhere. The childish boy turned and smiled. “A giant cyclops, hah.”

Seunghun rolled his eyes and took on another monster making a mad dash at him. Soon, chaos erupts. Multiple monsters came out of nowhere, running at us and other Hunters.

“Oh shit, Jihoon-”

“Got her.” The boy pulled me close to him while shooting other demons and monsters I couldn’t even recognize. I saw a monster run at me and I raised my gun to shoot it down.

It kept getting closer and closer to me. I kept shooting, but it seemed like it had no damage on the monster.

Suddenly, I saw Seunghun run front of me and rip out the heart of the monster. My eyes widened in surprise. “The only way you can kill that thing is ripping out it’s heart, it has no name but we call it the Ripping.”

“Why the Ripping?” I asked as I raised my gun to shoot a normal demon.

“‘Cause it’ll try and rip off your head if you don’t rip out it’s heart first.”

Seunghun then threw a dagger right by my head, hitting a monster I assume.

I let out a sigh of relief as he chuckled. “Don’t worry, you’re not strong enough for me to kill.” I glared at him, but he was right. I had no skill whatsoever. I just needed this hour to be over.

Soon, my wish came true as the monsters started to disappear.

“Finally, I just wanna sleep.” Jihoon said while stretching his arms in the air. Another Hunter smacked him on the head. “Shut up, Jihoon. You gotta enjoy the fight.”

Jihoon glared at the other boy and stuck his tongue out. “Byounggon, not all of us were born fighters.”

“Actually, we all were, that’s why we’re here.” Another Hunter pointed out. This one was quite short and had bright blonde hair.

“Actually, Hyunsuk, the girl isn’t. It’s her first Dark Hour and she’s never even picked up a gun before.” Jihoon laughed while the two Hunters started at me in surprise.

“Wow... how did you even survive.” I tried to shrug, but I could barely move my muscles.

“Probably only because I met Seunghun first and he gave me a gun. And saved me from a three-headed dog who tried to kill me.” The boys let out a bark of laughter as if I told a really funny story.

“Ah, Seunghun, our local prince, always helping girls in distress.” Byounggon teased while poking him on the side. Seunghun shook his head, tired of their teasing.

“Anyways, y/n, the hour is up in about one minute. You are going to wake up in your bed, which I presume your last location was before you were pulled in. No one else will remember this except us and the other Hunters.”

The others nodded as if it was weird to explain this once again. “You are not allowed to speak of the events to any normal people, ever. Of course, the normies know of us, but they really have no clue what Hunters do or what we fight.”

I nodded, trying to soak up all of this information.

“Will I still be here tomorrow night?” My question silenced him as he had no response.

“You may be, you may not, to be honest, this is as new to us as it is for you.” Hyunsuk noted carefully.

“Will I see you guys again? Do you guys see each other in real life?”

The boys shrugged. “I’ve never seen one of these guys in the normal world. We are sometimes transported to different locations if it’s busier, so it’s always changing, and-”

Before Seunghun could finish, I felt myself being pulled by an invisible hand. I held in my gasp as I felt the covers underneath my body. I shot up from my bed and turned on my lamp. I grabbed my phone from my shelf and checked the time.

12:00.

❀ ❀ ❀

I couldn’t sleep all night. How was one to sleep after they had just fought in the Dark Hour? And had no experience whatsoever.

My mom was right to be worried. If I was pulled in, I wondered if anyone else was in danger. Or if those normal people had survived. I wouldn’t have if I had never met up with Seunghun.

But I couldn’t dwell in it. I was back in reality and had a job to go to at 9am. Too early for anyone to get up.

“You look like shit.” Was the first greeting I heard from my co-worker, Mashiho. I glared at the pretty boy and flipped him off.

“You are shit.” I snapped back. I pulled on my apron and tied up my hair. He made claw movements and meowed like a cat. “Wow, someone is catty this morning.”

I resisted the urge to backhand the boy against the wall. “Not in the mood, Mashiho.”

Every day, Mashiho and I would bicker about something. Mostly because he an annoying prick and I was sarcastic and snappy.

Mashiho laughed and started fill the cases with food items. “Why? Late night with a lucky fellow?” He wiggled his eyebrows as I flicked him on the forehead. “OW!”

I sighed and started to fill the case on the other side of the cash register. “No, just I couldn’t sleep, ok? Just one of those nights I guess.” My words came out more sluggish than usual as I had gotten virtually only one hour of sleep.

“Well, be careful not to fall asleep today. It’s holiday season and people will want cakes and pastries for whatever reason.” I rolled my eyes and nodded.

“I’ll be fine.” Confused at his kindly spoken words. I probably looked worse than I thought if Mashiho wasn’t annoying me.

Soon, the clock hit 9 and I flipped the closed sign to open.

I sighed at the long shift ‘til 5 was about to begin. I knew I shouldn’t have worked during the holidays.

❀ ❀ ❀

The day was going smoothly, despite the business. Even though I constantly had the urge to punch Mashiho in the face, we worked well together.

The shop started to slow down as it neared 5pm. “I need a coffee.” Mashiho whined while walking into the break room. I rolled my eyes and kept at the cash register.

As no one new was coming in the shop, my thoughts drifted back to the Dark Hour. Seunghun danced into my mind as I pictured him in his attractive Hunter uniform.

Stop, you cannot think about a boy who you met in the Dark Hour. If life goes right, you’ll never see him ever again.

Suddenly, I heard the bell on the door ring, making my head shoot up.

“Hi, welcome to...” My voice trailed off as I saw the person in front of me.

His eyes widened in surprise as well. “Seunghun.” I stated. He gave me a kind and surprised smile. “Y/N.”

“Hey, David is asking where the mop is? Where did you leave it?” Mashiho asked me quietly since a customer was in front of me.

“Uhhh it should be in the closet.” Mashiho nodded and then looked to Seunghun who happened to be still staring at me. Mashiho looked at me, then to Seunghun, then back to me.

He smirked and patted me on the back. “He’s a good one.” He winked, hinting to our conversation earlier. I turned bright red and pushed him away.

Seunghun furrowed his brows, confused at our interaction. Before he could ask questions, I spoke first. “So, first things first, what would you like?” He smiled and took a look at all our choices.

“Oh, I came to pick up a vanilla cake with buttercream frosting for my grandma’s birthday.” I nodded and went to pick up the cake that was waiting for him.

“Is the name under Ahyoung?” He nodded. I handed him the cake. “Since you paid online, that should be it. Thanks for ordering from us.” He took the cake, but he didn’t walk away from me.

I kept my stare locked on him as he didn’t turn away. Suddenly, I heard a loud snap in my ear.

“Hello~ No eye sex in the bakery please. That’s a home activity, y/n.” Mashiho said while raising his brows at me. I blushed and pushed him away.

“That’s not-” I sighed knowing no one would care what I would have to say. “Mashiho, can you just... like leave for a quick second?” Mashiho’s jaw dropped.

“Wow, ok, I’ll be gone 5 minutes, you better not be having sex on the table when I come back-”

“Just go.” I snapped. The boy stuck his tongue out at me and walked away. I turned to face Seunghun who was already smiling at me.

“Does he think we’re having sex?” I was mortified at this conversation. “Well, uh, sorta, I mean, he wouldn’t believe my story of being unable to sleep last night so.” I shrugged. Seunghun nodded and understood what I meant.

“Anyways, on the more important issues besides my sexual adventures, we need to like... meet up. What are you doing right now?” He pointed to the cake. I sighed and rubbed my face tiredly.

“Ok, but the party will be done at 11. Then, I’ll come to you. What’s your address?” Usually, I would wait longer before giving a boy my address, but this was a different circumstance. “Great. See you then.” He winked at me which I couldn’t lie, I found it attractive. But I couldn’t let him know that. I rolled my eyes and waved him goodbye.

“Wow, he’s hot.”

“Shut up, Mashiho!”

❀ ❀ ❀

Eleven never came so slowly. Thankfully, my parents were already asleep so I didn’t have to explain why there was a very attractive boy in our home.

I heard a soft knock on the door and I jumped up to answer it. Seunghun was already in his Hunter uniform. My eyes widened and I rushed him inside.

“Why are you already wearing your uniform? That’s so weird! Did you come here in that?” The boy rolled his eyes.

“Calm down, I changed in the car, I am very professional at this. I have been doing it since I was 16.” I raised a brow.

“How old are you now?” Seunghun chuckled boyishly and gave me a flirty smile.

“Are you flirting with me?” I turned a bright red and led him into my room. “Your mouth is going to get you in trouble one day.”

Seunghun smiled as I shut the door quietly. “Says the girl who just locked my in her bedroom.”

I turned to him in anger, but I knew I couldn’t hit him since it would do no damage. “I-you. Ugh.” I stuttered out while he barked out laughter.

Then, he pulled out something from his bag I didn’t notice him holding. “Here is a Hunter uniform, I’m assuming you didn’t have one since you didn’t even know you were going to be in the Dark Hour.” I took the outfit and stared at it.

“Do you think I’ll be pulled in again?” He scratched the back of his neck and shrugged. “To be honest, I don’t know. Better to be safe than sorry.”

I went to the bathroom to change and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked like the definition of a Hunter. But I didn’t have the confidence or power as one of them.

“Everything ok in there?” He called out. “Y-yeah.” I spoke out as I exited the bathroom. I noticed Seunghun scanning me, examining how I looked in the uniform.

“What?” I snapped. He raised one brow and gave me one of his flirty smiles that sent shivers down my spine.

He leaned back in my bed that he had gotten comfy in. “Nothing, it’s just that you look really good in that outfit.” I saw him lick his lips nonchalantly, making me wish we were alone in my room for a different reason than talking about the Dark Hour.

I slapped him on the shoulder to hide my attraction. “Shut up, anyways, tell me everything you know about the Dark Hour. I need to prepare myself.”

His joking expression faded as I mentioned the Dark Hour. “First of all, let’s talk about how I’ve never seen you before this. I thought you said you’ve never seen any of the other Hunters in real life?” I bombarded him with questions.

Seunghun sighed and shook his head. “I’ve never met any of my friends who were Hunters in real life, but really, I wouldn’t know if I met a Hunter in real life. There’s nothing that sets us apart from the rest of society.”

I bit my lip and tapped my finger on my lip. “Ok, then why have I never seen you before if you went to the bakery I work at.”

“Oh, that’s because I’m in town from college, visiting my grandma. It’s her 80th birthday so it’s a big thing.” I nodded, working the pieces together in my mind.

“And what does the government have to do about the Dark Hour?” At my question, Seunghun tensed. I glanced over to him; he adjusted his vest and stared into space.

“So, no normal person knows this since the government hides it pretty well. But, there is a reason for the Dark Hour. Monsters keep rising from the Underworld, since it is becoming too popularted. The government has been in contact with Hades, the God of the underworld--”

“Woah, woah, woah, wait, Hades? You mean-”

“Yes, that one. Anyways, it’s almost midnight and I need to tell you this.” I nodded and listened carefully. “So the government is in contact with Hades who says he can’t control, even though he can, the monsters that are rising out. The human government was furious, saying he couldn’t just let out monsters.”

“So they compromised.” Seunghun nodded.

“They compromised. Groups of trained humans work together to defeat all the monsters that Hades lets out at midnight for one hour. Since he’s a God, he has the ability to monitor it and make sure no normal human gets hurt. And the tattoos? The government bargained for it so that they had to explain less murders.” Seunghun gave me a crooked smile, but I wondered if he lost any friends along the way.

He glanced over at my clock. “We have five minutes.” I took a deep breath as my heart race picked up.

Suddenly, he piled a bunch of weapons on my bed. “Here, keep these. They’re easy to use.” He gave me some fancy looking guns and other weapons. “This one, you press this button, and it shoots out mini bombs. Highly effective.”

“Thank you. Like truly, I would be so dead without you right now.” I whispered softly. Seunghun lifted my face gently to stare at him.

“I believe in you. Most normal people wouldn’t have come outside with me. You were brave. I’m sure you were chosen for a reason.”

He tried to look casual, but he kept glancing at the clock. “One minute.” He whispered. For a moment, I thought, he was going to kiss me.

But he scooted away and stood, watching the window.

“Stay on guard.” He demanded. He was much more serious during the Dark Hour than in the normal time. “Remember, we might be separated as I don’t know where I will be transported.”

I stood and held my gun close, listening for any movement. All I heard was Seunghun’s steady breathing.

The night was pitch black but I couldn’t see outside the window. “y/n, the streetlamps are off now.”

I sucked in a breath, understanding the true meaning of his words.

It was officially the Dark Hours.

❀ ❀ ❀

“I guess I should say welcome to the squad then, right?” I rolled my eyes but I couldn’t help but be sort of happy that I got to spend more time with Seunghun and his funny friends.

But that happiness didn’t last long as I heard a rustle outside the room. I jumped back and got father away from my door, my run still pointing at it. Seunghun watched his back as the window was behind him, he pointed at the door.

“Wait.” He mouthed. I nodded. I heard something that sounded like footsteps, but I knew some monsters had a similar foot structure to us. I aimed my gun high and waited for a noise.

Nothing.

“Don’t let down-”

As soon as he said that, the door burst opened and I aimed to shoot.

“WAIT! IT’S JUST US!” At the sound of a human I dropped my gun and saw Jihoon with his hands up. I raised a brow as I saw Hyunsuk, Byounggon, and a few other Hunters there as well.

“What the fuck is going on?” One of the unknown one said. 

“I have no idea, Yedam. But whatever is going on, it seems suspicious.” Seunghun looked frazzled and ran his fingers through his hair.

“What are you guys talking about?” Seunghun barked. Byounggon came forward and looked right at me and then the window.

He walked towards my bedroom window and flung it open, revealing a dark, empty street. Seunghun’s eyes widened. 

“No monsters.” Seunghun muttered. They all nodded. 

“No monsters? What? Has that ever happened?” I exclaimed. They all shook their heads. 

“Never. Sometimes there are less, but never zero. Until you showed up.” Hyunsuk said it casually, but I could feel the tension in his words.

Seunghun was about to jump in, but I could fight verbal battles myself. “Hey, don’t act like I made this happen. I’m just as confused as you are right now, and probably more since I have no idea why the fuck I’m here.” I barked, stepping closer to him. The boy came to meet me in the middle, but Jihoon stopped him.

“She’s right, we can’t blame each other. But besides all the monsters not being there, why were we all transported to this house?” 

I froze at his words. “W-what?” 

Byounggon nodded. “Yeah, I was sitting in my room, waiting for the Dark Hour and then I ended up here. Then I saw Hyunsuk, Jihoon, Junkyu, Yedam and Doyoung appear.” Seunghun brought his hand to his mouth to hide his gasp. 

“That’s never happened before. The most we have in one spot is 3 and even then it’s in the streets, not a house.” A boy I didn’t know explained. I noticed he was around the same height as Seunghun and had black hair. 

I looked around my home, but saw nothing different than the people in it. “Well if we’re all here, there’s gotta be a reason for it.” I set down my gun as I felt there was no threat and walked out of my room and into my living room, where the rest of the boys were called. I felt Seunghun appear by my side; he was still tense despite there being no threat. 

“What are you doing? He asked quickly. I scanned the entire room like a mad man and examined everything closely. “Y/N-” 

“This is my house. That means I know what it’s supposed to look like.” I hinted at him while walking deeper into the kitchen. 

Seunghun looked at me with a confused look until someone else spoke up. “She’s looking for a clue why we’re all here; if something is misplaced in her home, it might mean something.” A young boy with black hair spoke up. I nodded towards him and he gave me a small nod back. 

“Oh wow, good job, Doyoung.” Byounggon said patting his back. The younger boy nodded and looked serious once again. 

There was nothing different about the living room. I walked into my mom’s room, but I was rarely in her room, I didn’t know where what went. I searched and searched, but I didn’t know what I was looking for. 

I turned to leave the room. “Nothing?” Seunghun said sadly. I shook my head, but as I turned my head slightly, I saw something weird. My eyes widened in surprise and Seunghun caught notice of my expression. He gripped his gun and stepped to my side. “On guard.” The rest of the boys pulled out their respective weapons.

“She’s looking at a god damn strawberry recipes magazine, what’s wrong with that?” Hyunsuk spat. I glared at him and kept a hold on my gun.

“My mom is allergic to strawberries.” I stated loudly. The boys looked as uneasy as I felt. Why would she have a strawberry recipe magazine if she’s deathly allergic to strawberries?

I reached before the magazine, but before I could, the magazine started to move on it’s own. Seunghun stood in front of me, but I felt the urge to look at the magazine so I side stepped him. 

“Careful.” He whispered for only me to hear. I nodded slightly but I wasn’t paying attention to him. The magazine soon stopped on a page, making me anxious to read what it said. 

“Watch their backs.” A boy with dark black hair said. The boys nodded and followed his orders. Seunghun stepped closely to me and turned to me. 

“Together.” I caught the hint of his words. He took my hand and squeezed it, making me feel safe. Together, we walked slowly towards the magazine, unsure if it would make a sudden movement. 

Once we got close enough to read it, my heart dropped as I saw a page with no strawberries on it, but a small line written on it. I leaned down to read it.

The end is tomorrow. There are more of you. There are more of them. Use the girl, the normal one. 

Good luck, and don’t let the darkness take you. 

Shivers ran through up and down my spine. The girl, the normal one. I was the only normal girl in our group, meaning I was screwed. 

“What are you doing?” Seunghun asked softly. I looked up at him and raised my brows. “I’m reading the message.” I answered back slowly.

“Y/n, there’s nothing on that page.” Seunghun said quietly, almost like he didn’t believe his words. T

he boy who gave ordere earlier walked over and peered down at the magazine.

“Yedam, be careful.” Doyoung told him. Yedam glared at the boy, but looked at me curiously. “Seunghun is right, there’s nothing there.” 

I looked down at the page and saw the black writing very clearly. The rest of the boys were now huddled around the message. 

“There’s nothing.” A boy whose name I think was Junkyu, if I had remembered clearly. 

“Y/n, do you see something?” Seunghun asked me firmly, peering into my eyes. I felt all eyes on me and I grew nervous. I mustered up my courage and nodded. 

“Shit, this is so creepy.” Hyunsuk said while pacing around the room.

Seunghun didn’t move from his spot and continued, “What does it say?” 

I looked down at the pages and read them once more. “The end if tomorrow. There are more of you. Use the girl, the normal one. Good luck, and don’t let the darkness take you.” 

As soon as I said those words, the rest of the boys erupted into sighs and shivers. “Oh god, what is going on?” Junkyu wondered out loud while sitting on my mom’s bed. 

“Use the girl? What does y/n have to offer, no offense.” Jihoon said. 

“It doesn’t say what for. That’s all the message says.” I glanced over at the clock which wasn’t working. 

“We have one more minute before the Dark Hour is over." Doyoung announced.

No one had an answer for the confusing events, yet none of us could formulate a question. 

“Rest well today, it seems like we have a lot ahead of us tomorrow.” Seunghun announced while finally relaxing. 

Before anyone else could answer, I felt myself being pulled out of the Dark Hour and back into reality. I fell against my room wall and saw Seunghun standing firmly. I could see he was used to it and I wasn’t. 

Use the girl, the normal one. I see the message flash once more in my eyes, but I truly had no idea what it meant. I was a normal person, what did I have to offer? I was a nobody. 

“Are you ok?” Seunghun asked, concern laced in his voice. His hands went to cup my face and I nodded, dazed by the previous events and the intensity of his eyes. He pulled away, but I felt the urge to pull him back.

So I did. He grew surprised at my bold actions but let me pull him, even though I knew he was much stronger than I. “Are you going to be safe when you’re alone?” At my innocent words, he laughed loudly. 

“Y/n, I should be asking you that, I’ve been training since I was 10 years old for this.” 

“And how long ago was that?” I had never gotten his age, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t curious. Seunghun gave me a small smile.

“It was 9 years ago.” I smiled widely. “So you’re 19.” Seunghun shook with laughter. 

“Wow, good math skills you have there.” He gently tapped my forehead with his knuckles. 

Our conversation came to a stop and my only focus was on his face that was so close to mine. My eyes flickered to his lips, wondering how good he was with them. His eyes were taunting, like he didn’t believe I would do anything. 

He was wrong.

Before I knew what I was doing, I pulled him close to me, closing the gap between our lips. He responded quickly, his arms wrapping around me in a matter of seconds. He kissed me softly at first, but then I felt him bite my bottom lip softly, making me melt against his body. My hand wandered under his shirt, feeling his toned upper body. He sighed at my touch. 

Somehow, I had pushed him onto my bed and I was now on top of him. At our scandalous position, he grabbed my waist and pulled me aside so that I was sitting on my bed. 

I felt cold without his masculine warmth, and I was also stunned at his actions.

Oh shit, what did I just do? How did I get so lost in my feelings that I thought I could get down with a Hunter? 

I guess my face of surprise and shock was obvious because Seunghun started to talk before I could. “Y/n, I’m sorry, it’s just we only met each other yesterday and I know you’re in a confused state right now.” He talked as if he was talking to a piece of glass, which I wasn’t. But I already was embarrassed enough.

He has probably met so many female Hunters who so much stronger and prettier than me. I want to smack myself silly.

“I know, yeah, you’re right, um, I’m like, frazzled whatever. My emotions are running high. Um...” I felt myself stutter out. I felt tears brimming at his rejection, but I knew I couldn’t force him to do anything.

“Y/n, it’s fine, I just, I don’t want to... right now at least.” The was every nice guy’s way of rejection. And I couldn’t even be mad at him.

“I’m sorry, it was my fault. Um, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then. Bye.” He didn’t make a move to leave.

“Y/n, I didn’t mean to hurt you-”

“Seunghun, I’m sorry, but can you just leave?” I asked quietly, unable to look him in the eyes. Seunghun nodded, and stood, sparing me one last glance before he left, leaving me to slap my face and think about what I had just done.

Even though I was hurt in the moment, Seunghun was right. I wasn’t in the right state of mind to be anything intimate with anyone. Of course I was attracted to him, I mean who wasn’t, but I was in for about the biggest fight of my life tomorrow. 

And so was he. 

“Y/n, you’re the biggest idiot I know.” 

❀ ❀ ❀

“Looking better today, y/n, did you finally get some sleep?” 

I was immediately greeted by Mashiho’s taunting tone. But I was too upset and stressed to fight back.

“Yup, slept like a baby.” I lied. I had listening to self-deprecating music before I went to bed and then cried myself to sleep from Seunghun’s rejection and the fate of other Hunters in the palm of my hand.

I tied my apron on peacefully and said nothing else to him. Mashiho peered at my face and squinted his eyes. “What are you doing, Mashiho?” He scooted away from me.

“You seem different today. What happened with that boy?” I rolled my eyes even though he was a partial reason to my mood. 

“Nothing happened, we were never a thing nor did anything happen between us.” I stated clearly. Mashiho tsked like he didn’t believe me. 

He then stopped and leaned against the corner of the shop. “Look, y/n, I know you have no friends. So if you ever wanna tell me what happened, I’ll listen.” I started to roll my eyes, but it was kinda true, I really had no close friends. I had acquaintances and whatever, but never a friend that I would talk to into the late hours of the night. 

I felt myself tear up at his words as no one had told me that they would listen to my concerns. “Oh my god, are you crying?” At Mashiho’s blunt statement, I started to cry harder. Surprisingly, he pulled me into a brotherly hug and patted the top of my head like a child.

“Tell me what happened.” He whispered. I wiped my eyes and tried to speak calmly. 

“I tried to sleep with him, but he pushed me away saying that we both weren’t ready and we both just met each other.” I conveniently left out the Hunter thing, but I guess it wasn’t too important. Mashiho pulled away from the hug to give me a judgy look.

“Well, I didn’t think you would be the first to make a move, but damn girl.” I laughed at his goody statement but pulled away from him to wipe my tears. “Why are you being so nice to me?” I asked softly. He gave me a soft smile and shrugged.

“I’m not that big of a dick to make fun of a girl crying.” He shrugged, but I could tell something else was bothering him. Soon, the clock hit 9, and it was time to work. “Go wash your face, I’ll be fine up here alone.” I nodded. As I turned away, I gave him one more hug which surprised him.

“Thank you.”

He crinkled his nose as I pulled away. “Don’t get too soft on me now.”

❀ ❀ ❀

Mashiho and I had closed early today as it was new years eve. 

“Happy new years, y/n, try not to jump any more guys while I’m gone.” I slapped him on the back of his head, but I laughed. 

“I promise. That was my first time and last time.” He waved me goodbye and we went out separate ways. I got in my car, but I realized I didn’t want to sit at home all day and wait for midnight. I felt myself being compelled to go to the library for some reason. And not the library near my house, but the one that was out of the town I was in. I drove 30 minutes to the vaguely familiar library I had only visited once or twice. I preferred the one near my house, but this library was giant and beautiful as well. 

As I walked in, a strange man approached me. “Are you y/n?” Out of instinct, I had nodded, but then I realized I shouldn’t have told him the truth. But too late.

He smiled and nodded towards one of those private rooms. “Great, your spot is being saved in there.” I thanked him, even though I felt suspicious to walk in.

I gathered my courage and opened the door. I was shocked at who I saw. 

“Oh wow, look who came late to the party.” 

❀ ❀ ❀

“H-hyunsuk?” The blonde boy nodded and twirled a knife in his hand. I gasped and shut the door quickly. “Why are you holding that?” 

As he moved out of the way, I saw all the Hunters that I saw last night here tonight. “Why are you all here? I thought you guys said you never saw each other in real life!” I exclaimed, tossing down my bag I brought to work each day. 

“We didn’t. Until now.” Doyoung informed.

“We all heard a voice in the back of our minds telling us to come here, that we needed to come here. So we did of course.” Yedam 

“And now you’re here, so it makes sense.” Junkyu said cheerfully. 

I looked around the room, staring at all the weapons. “Why did you guys bring those though?” I asked, worried that we would be arrested for bringing those in there.

“That’s what were going to ask you.” Seunghun informed, leaning forward in his chair. As he spoke, he made eyecontact with me that I awkwardly avoided. 

“Well, I have no...” I didn’t finish that sentence as I saw a message appear on the wall.

The Dark Hour is early tonight. It will begin at 5pm. Good luck.

“Y/n?” Doyoung asked, startled at my behavior. I then realized I was leaning forward on the chair and the rest of the boys had stood in confusion. I stood up and nodded.

“Just peachy. There’s a message on the wall and it reads ‘The Dark Hour is early tonight. It will begin at 5pm. Good luck’“ I restated.

The boys froze and checked the time. It was six minutes til 5. 

“What the fuck is going on? All of this is so confusing!” Hyunsuk muttered loudly. 

“No idea, but that means we have to prepare ourselves. Put on your uniforms.” All of a sudden, they started to strip and I caught a glimpse of Hyunsuk’s abs as he threw it off carelessly. Hyunsuk was sort of an asshole, but I couldn’t help but stare. 

Suddenly, a large body covered my line of vision. I peered up and saw Seunghun who was raised a brow at my red face. “What.” I whispered harshly. 

He then leaned in closer and shrugged. “Mine is better.” He randomly said, but I knew what he was talking about. 

“Well, I could’ve....” seen them last night. I didn’t finish my sentence. Girls always got shit from boys when they didn’t want to have sex, the least I could do was wait for Seunghun to be ready. Or be fine if he never wanted me like that. I had to respect that. “Nevermind I’m sorry.” I muttered quickly, stepping away from him.

Before I could leave, he pulled on my wrist gently, making me face him once more. “One day, y/n, when all of this is over.” He promised. Before my face could light on fire, I felt someone else approach me.

Byounggon plopped an outfit in my hands. “I know you didn’t bring one, so I thought of to bring an extra. I hope it fits.” I nodded in shock.

“Thank you.” I whispered gently. He gave me a fatherly smile and patted my head. “Don’t thank me, thank whoever gave me the urge to give me an extra.”

“Two more minutes!” Doyoung called out. I realized that they all had changed and were now waiting on me. I glared at them and did spinning movements.

“Can you guys like.. turn around?” The nodded respectfully and did as I told. I stripped quickly and slipped on the fitting uniform. It was a perfect fit. “Done!” I called out. They turned back and gathered at the small table.

“Do you think there will be other Hunters there? They said there will be more of ‘us’, whatever that refers to.” Jihoon asked curiously. No one answered.

“No clue. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.” Yedam responded. All of a sudden, I felt the familiar pull, meaning this time I was transferring somewhere else. 

I landed on my ass, confused of my surroundings. “Get up!” Someone called out to me. I felt someone pull me up. It was Seunghun. 

I felt relief flood my body as I saw a familiar faces all around me. 

“Y/n!?” I heard a familiar voice say. I jumped back from Seunghun’s hold and turned around.

“MASHIHO!?” I exclaimed. His doe eyes narrowed at me.

“What are you doing here? Are you Hunter?” It was weird to see him in a tight fitting long sleeve and such edgy clothes when he had always worn preppy clothes. 

“Um, not really. It’s complicated.” I responded lamely. 

Another boy stepped forward. “She must be the the girl the message spoke about. The normal one.” 

Suddenly, they started to converse in an unfamiliar language I recognized as Japanese. 

“MASHI!” Suddenly, Junkyu appeared out of nowhere and tackled Mashiho in a hug. They hug was childish and passionate.

I looked to Seunghun. “Did you know he was a Hunter?” I asked accusingly. He shook his head. “I swear I’ve never met him. I’m usually transferred to the same spots so I probably never ran into him. But I know all his friends.” 

“That’s Yoshinori, Kotaro, Asahi, and Mahiro.” I waved to them awkwardly as they gave me awkward smiles. 

Suddenly, I heard a loud explosion outside. 

“Guards up!” Seunghun yelled as I reached for the gun in my holster. “Let’s jump down!” He then broke the window and started to jump out. 

My eyes widened as he just flew down to the ground from my second story. The rest of the boys followed him. 

I felt someone grab hold of me and carry me. “Hug my chest so we can fit through the window.” Mashiho said sternly. It seemed like everyone got a bit more serious in the dark hour. I did as he told and suddenly we were falling out of my window. I held onto him harder and Mashiho landed smoothly. “I’m never going to let you live this down.”

“Shut up.” I jumped off of him and took out my gun. 

There was nothing at first.

Then it came.

“A-are those humans?” I whispered to no one in particular.

Hundreds and hundreds of humans started piling towards us with blank eyes and dirty faces. Some had clothes, some did not; skin was falling off of them, dragging in the streets. 

I felt someone grab my face and pull me close to them. “S-seunghun-”

“Look at me. Those are not humans, those are zombies who will try and hurt you. They will use psychological warfare on you, they will tell you things that aren’t true. Do not fall for that, ok? Kill them as fast as you would kill a fly. Do you understand me?” I nodded hurriedly. He stared at me a little longer before pulling away. “Good.”

“Well, stop trying to make us jealous.” Hyunsuk teased by slapping Seunghun’s shoulder. 

“Look.” Doyoung said calmly. The zombies started to run faster and soon the battle had begun. The boys, who I had known to be funny and boyish, became fearless killers as their enemies came closer.

“Watch her please.” Seunghun pushed me back to Mashiho.

“Damn I’m stuck with the burden?” As zombies came running at the both of us, I held up my gun and shot five of them in the head. He stared at me with wide eyes.

“Such a burden.” I snapped.

The zombies kept going down, coming steadily at us until one latched onto me. I grew afraid as its droopy eyes and skinny body held onto my arm with a tight grip.

“Help me!” It called out. “Help, I hate it down there, it’s terrible and scary! I’m just a girl, please!” She called out to me. Her features still looked slightly human, making my heart hurt. “I swear I just want to live more!” 

“I-I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Suddenly, her eyes turned black as she lunged for me. I took out my gun and shot her in the head.

“Fuck.” I spat. 

Suddenly, all the zombies stopped coming, leaving the large group to stand there in silence. “Is that it?” Hyunsuk called out, sitting on the ground to rest.

Seunghun was still tense and held his knife in his holster. “Stay ready.” 

All of a sudden, a streetlamp turned on, revealing a man standing underneath the solely lit lamp. I gasped and instinctively stepped back. “What? What do you see?” Seunghun whispered in my ear.

I looked up at him with concern in my eyes. “Do you not see it?” I whispered.

“See what?” Jihoon asked, looking into the distance. I gulped and stepped out of Seunghun’s hold. 

“There’s a man over there. Underneath the streetlight. And the light is on too.” 

“Is he moving? Are any other lights on?” I shook my head at Byounggon’s rapid questions.

I started to walk towards the man until I felt a hand pull me back. “No, what if he’s dangerous.” I shook my head. “I need to do this. I feel it.” 

Thankfully, Seunghun let go of my hand. “Fine, but I’ll be behind you.” I nodded and we both started to walk towards him. I felt the tenseness of the dark air, but I felt like whoever the man is was important. 

“y/n.” He called out. “y/n, don’t be scared.” I expected Seunghun to pull me closer, but I remembered he couldn’t hear him. 

“What do you want?” I asked boldly. Seunghun then tensed and pulled out his gun. The man laughed. 

“Interesting.” He commented. “He’s gotten soft for you.” 

I glared at the man. He was tall, not taller than Seunghun, but tall. He had dark brown hair and had an average looking face. No sense of crime or anger in his eyes. 

“What do you want?” I demanded once more. 

He went silent for a moment, but looked me in the eyes. “It’s over. Congratulations. The Dark Hour is no more.” He confessed. My eyes widened in surprise. 

“What, why?”

He shrugged. “You humans have done well, Hell is now not as crowded as it used to be, there is no reason for me to keep letting creatures out.”

My head spun with all this information. “Why am I here then? Why call me when the fight as almost over?” I snapped. The man shook with laughter.

“Why do anything?”

My jaw dropped at his sarcastic remark. “Well, good that it’s over then. I’m not cut out for this.” 

The man looked at me sadly. “You were way better than you ever thought you would be. That is why only you can see me and none of them can.”

“Why can I see you and no one else can?”

Before he could finish his sentence, his body to fade. “I can’t give you all the answers, honey. That would be no fun.” 

He then tipped his head down as his body faded away. “Goodbye, y/n.” 

As he faded, I felt myself being pulled back into the real world.

❀ ❀ ❀

I woke up the next morning to my alarm. I sighed and shut it off, feeling a headache from the last night. 

The Dark Hour was no more, but I didn’t even get to tell all the guys before being pulled away. I wonder if they felt it too, I wonder if they knew. 

I shimmied into my clothes and got ready for another day at work. 

The bakery was empty, with only Mashiho swiping up the floor. “Hey, Mashi.” I teased as I walked into the shop. He raised a brow and chuckled awkwardly.

“How did you know that was my nickname? Only my mom calls me that.” Now I was the confused one. 

“What are you talking about, Junkyu called you that last night.” I reminded him as the large boy had run and basically flung Mashiho around. 

“Who’s Junkyu? And you and I weren’t together last night...” He walked towards me and placed his hand over my forehead. “Are you sick?”

My jaw dropped as he truly didn’t remember. 

What happened that night? Why does Mashiho not remember what happened? Did that mean no one remembered...

Does that mean Seunghun no longer knows who I am?

My heart dropped at the realization.

“Are you ok, y/n?” Mashiho asked with concern in his eyes. I nodded and turned the bakery sign to say open. 

“I guess I have to be.” 

As soon as the bakery sign was open, we heard someone enter. 

“Hi, welcome to Treasure Bakery, can I...” My voice faltered as I looked up from the register. He was wearing dark black pants with a white button up. His hair was messily combed through, like he had just woken up. 

He smiled widely at me, making my heart pound faster at his kind greeting. 

“Hey.”

[the-static-and-i]

Star-lit Date Night

//Hey yall, so depression has been kicking my ass and I dont know how to write whump without it being my/Sam's fault in some way, which is one of my big triggers, so I'm gonna pause on those for a hot sec and just write some fluff, because I need that so bad rn. I'm sorry about the prompts, I'll get to those as soon as I hate myself a little less, but for now just enjoy the kinda badly written gay cliche

TW: Gay panic, brief mention of not eating or sleeping much, mention of medicine, kinda suggestive talk.

Sam hadnt stopped telling everyone about this girl she had met since ten minutes after meeting her, which was three weeks ago now. If she wasnt texting her, she was infodumping everything about her to Kat or Sofia or occassionally Jackie and Nic when they were free and up for listening, and if she wasnt doing that, she was daydreaming about kissing her and moving in together, she had even planned their wedding.

Ren tried to keep her in check, so she didnt talk everyone's ears off about some girl they hadnt even met, but even she had to admit she was smitten with her too.

Of course, Ren didnt allow herself to talk to this girl, aware that there would be questions that she couldnt answer with a clear conscious. But she could at least admit she was gorgeous, and Sam's dramatic exaggerations of her beauty werent that far off, or were at least deserved.

They had finally gotten into a point in their friendship where Sam felt comfortable enough to blurt out that she liked her as more than a friend, and as they waited in an increasingly awkward silence, she and Ren decided that no matter what happened, they were glad to have met her.

Dani had responded positively, though! She liked Sam back, and wanted to get to know her more, so she invited Sam on a date on Friday night.

So she acquired permission for Sofia's car, and then waited in an anxious ball for the next two days to pass by. She barely slept and barely ate, only remembering to take her meds because of her alarms and Kat's gentle reminders.

Finally, Friday morning rolled around.

Ren took them to the bathroom, showering and shaving and curling their hair and washing their face with 13 different products, finally finishing with some "light" makeup.

Sam hated it, wanting to scratch at her nose and cheeks and forehead, but knew it would just mess up Ren's hard work. Admittedly, she looked pretty, and Ren's skill was impressive.

They left the bathroom in a towel, giving an awkward smile to Kat as she headed out of the cabin.

Arriving in their room, Sam realized she had to actually get dressed, but didnt know what the fuck to wear. She didnt wanna get out of the towel dress, didnt wanna wear pants or shorts or, gods forbid, a skirt.

So, the only option was a dress.

She had a few, and she liked most of them, but a couple were Ren's, and those were on the downward side of her "like" spectrum.

This is when Ren started stirring again, coaxing Sam to at least try on a few of hers, just to see how they looked with her hair and face all dolled up.

Sam decided to humor her, trying on three before finding one of Ren's she did actually like; a black long sleeve dress with a short skater skirt, and weird ass hole patterns along the whole thing. Weird patterns aside, it was a gorgeous dress, and hugged her body in some pretty flattering ways.

She kept it on, hanging up the other dresses and doing a quick spin in front if the mirror.

Oh yeah, this was a good dress; the skirt flared up and twirled around her, probably showing off her ass a little, but she would put on those dress short things that hide your underwear and call it good.

Despite how happy she was with the dress, there was a new one she got that she honestly loved, and had been waiting for an excuse to wear for a few weeks now.

So she slipped off the black dress carefully, pulling on the dark blue one instead, the pink and peach flowers catching her eye in the mirror immediately. She slipped her hands in the pockets and spun, flaring the dress manually. Even if she had to put work in, the action still made her smile, and she decided this one looked pretty too.

Ren sighed quietly, saying that they were both pretty but the black one was a little nicer, yeah?

Sam groaned, honestly unsure which she preferred. A quick glance at the clock told her that she didn't have a whole lot of time to debate, so she bit her lip and decided to get third party opinion.

Remembering Kat had just left though, her heart started beating faster in a small panic. She grabbed her phone and pulled open her messages, seeing the last person she talked to was Nic!

He would know how to do the date thing, right? I mean, he got the only person as cool as him, so he had to at least be able to advise her for clothes right? Fuck, she hoped so.

She snapped a quick picture of the blue dress while it was still on, quickly pulling it off and putting the black one back on.

Taking a picture of that too, she gathered both and sent them to him, captioning it "Fashion emergency, Ren and I cant decide what to wear for our, my? Date tonight!! Mind helping a little?"

She sent off the message, twirling for a second in the dress again, habitually reaching for pockets that werent there and frowning a little. She didnt dwell on lost pockets though, going back to her closet and pulling out different shoes.

If he picked the black one, would she wear heels or boots? Flats maybe? Not boots, for sure, but I have 4 pairs of black flats and 3 different heels.

Okay, fuck that, what about if he picks blue? I have 2 pairs of blue flats, plus a pair of blue heels, and any of the black shoes would be cute probably.

Sam groaned, quickly realizing she had far too many shoes, and she was completely hopeless with fashion stuff.

Luckily, she wasnt alone with her indecisiveness; Nic responding with a comment about how pretty she looked and how happy he was for her, finishing off by saying that her hair accented the blue one in a really pretty way.

Sam squealed and set her phone down, sliding the dress on and examining herself, brushing some setting power off of the chest and brushing down the skirt a little, finishing by fluffing her hair a tiny bit.

Yeah, she looked good.

She grabbed a pair of comfy blue shoes and a pair of cute heels that she could totally walk in if Ren was fronting, snapping pics of them on her bed and sending both to Nic, saying "You're a fucking lifesaver and I preesh you. Would you mind if I asked for one more?"

His response was quicker, "Go for more comfortable in case you're out for a while. Dont wanna cut tonight short cause your feet hurt!"

Sam laughed a little, enjoying the implications that Dani would actually enjoy her presence enough to want to hang out past dinner.

Still, she slipped on some small socks and the flats, floofing the hem of the skirt in front of the mirror again. Dad made the right call, and she was fucking rocking the look.

She took a better quality picture, showing off the whole look to Nic, writing a quick, "You're a fucking god and thank you so much!! Love you, dad :D"

She didnt wait for a reply, putting her phone into a sorta-matching bag and making sure she had her wallet and keys in it. Finally, she was ready, and ahead of schedule!

She left the cabin quick, making it to the car and driving off without incident.

30 minutes later, she was in the restaurant checking to see if Dani had already been seated. The host led her back to Dani's table, the latter standing up and pulling Sam into a hug before pulling away.

"You look stunning, Jesus Christ.." Sam blushed, stuttering out a small thank you and reciprocating the compliment.

Dani was fucking gorgeous, wearing fancy pants and a nice top, with a complementing jacket draped over the back of her chair.

They parted completely, Dani stepping back and pulling Sam's chair out, coming around to sit again after she pushed Sam in too.

They ordered drinks, neither of them getting anything alcoholic, and then food quickly, only quiet small talk shared as they decided.

Once the menus were taken though, Dani started firing off random questions that Sam struggled to answer, the questions getting more ridiculous as they went; "What would you name a pet dolphin?", "If you could name your super-sidekick, what would you pick?", "Who came to mind when I said super-sidekick?"

Eventually they were both giggling and laughing, Dani not holding back with her head tilted back and a big grin on her face, and Sam keeping herself quiet by biting her lip, also suppressing her own grin.

Their food came, and they made more small talk while they ate, learning small things about each other that Sam loved knowing; Dani loved shellfish but hated other seafood, and her first dog was named Popcorn, and her first girlfriend was in the 7th grade, and they kissed on their first anniversary.

Dani didnt push when Sam frowned at the mention of first girlfriends, avoiding the subject by instead asking her favorite sport, and if she had ever been skiing, and what her favorite halloween costume was.

By the time they finally finished dinner, including a relatively small dessert that they shared, it was 11 pm, and they didnt want to go their separate ways just yet.

So they split the bill and took their leave, heading a block over to the nearest park. Sam started shivering as they walked, but she pursed her lips and ignored it, bracing herself against the breeze that was colder than she was expecting.

Dani stopped in front of the intersection, not even hitting the crosswalk button before taking her jacket off and draping it over Sam's shoulders.

Only then did Sam realize Dani was so fucking tall. Like, she was 5'4, Dani was at least a whole head taller, with slightly broader shoulders and such big fucking arms.

Distracting herself quickly, she slipped her arms into the warm jacket while Dani hit the button.

The jacket was so fucking big on her, naturally. The sleeves went past her hands, the bottom edge coming down past her butt, and the shoulders were already sliding down her, well, shoulders.

Dani wrapped her arm around Sam, keeping the jacket upright and also keeping their warmth closer to their bodies.

They crossed into the park, still entwined and cuddling, both content to walk around in the quiet night for a while.

Sam glanced up at the sky, doing a double take as she saw the big moon and bright stars.

Slowly, she started asking Dani about how much she knew about space, sharing little facts and tidbits that she knew, until Dani asked her to share more. She took the jacket off after a moment of hesitation, laying it on the grass and sitting down on it, patting the space next to her so Dani could sit.

She complied, even following when Sam laid back fully, listening quietly but enthralled as Sam pointed out constellations and planets and even a couple satellites that they noticed passing by.

Dani entwined their hands, looking over at Sam with a small smile. She didnt notice the gaze, still caught up in telling the story behind one of the many constellations she had loved learning about. Dani couldnt help but smile with her as her shy smile grew into a big grin that she didnt even hide the longer she talked.

Sam finally tired herself out, looking over at Dani with her smile returned to its shy, apologetic size. She leaned forward before Sam could speak, kissing her shoulder gently.

"You're really smart, and you clearly know your stuff about this. I love hearing you talk about the stars and space and everything involved with that, Sam. And thank you for sharing," Sam was shocked, her mouth opening a little, like she wanted to protest but though better of it. Dani gave her a small but genuine smile, squeezing her hand gently.

Sam squeezed back, whispering a quiet "Thank you," before nuzzling her forehead onto Dani's shoulder, hiding her face and her slightly-visible smile.

When she pulled away, she caught Dani's eye, both of them refusing to look away. Her hair was a forest green but looked so much lighter under the moon, and San wanted to run her fingers through it.

Dani was a step ahead of her, turning onto her side and releasing Sam's hand so she could pull her into a hug. Her forehead was pressed against Dani's collarbone, but she was so comfortable and felt so safe already.

After everything, she could use a little safe.

So she hugged Dani back, looping their legs together and holding her close, and they stayed like that until the sprinklers turned on.

They both grabbed their shit and ran out of the park, dripping wet and laughing, Sam doubled over by the time they reached the outer sidewalk.

Dani gasped for breath, glancing over at Sam before another laughing fit erupted from her. In the midst of her own fit, Sam barely registered that she wanted to hear Dani laugh like this more often.

The puddles beneath them grew as they slowly calmed down, Dani still letting out quiet giggles every so often, while Sam was just smiling big and proud.

"Your hair still looks beautiful, this is unfair, you're like a goddess or something!" Sam froze, looking over at Dani as she spoke. Her hair was falling into her face, whatever she had used to make it stand up clearly not being waterproof.

"Y-your hair is absolutely gorgeous, and you're rocking the whole.. messy hair vibe. Like, shit, you're so fucking pretty, I could actually ki-" Sam cut off, her eyes widening a little.

Its not that she didnt wanna kiss Dani, but she didnt want her to feel obligated to, I mean it was their first date, and they were both probably cold, and she was getting closer, why was she getting closer?

Dani rested her hands on Sam's shoulder and cheek, giving her a second to pull away before pressing their lips together.

Sam's hands flailed at her sides, before Ren placed them on Dani's hips and kissed her back. Sam came back in control, her eyes sliding shut in near bliss. Dani’s lips were soft and warm, and her hands were playing with Sam’s hair. 

They parted slowly, Dani meeting Sam’s eyes with a small smile. 

“You kiss good,” Were Sam’s first words, barely a whisper as her eyes flicked between Dani’s and her lips. Dani laughed a little, leaning over and kissing Sam’s cheek quickly. 

“You kiss good too. And thanks, Sam,” She was still smiling, and it had Sam smiling back. They stood there for a moment in silence, until Dani spoke up again, “Youre still shivering, do you want to call it a night?”

No, she really didnt, but she was really cold, and she had to take her meds before bed, lest she wake up like an asshole or have nightmares or both. 

She sighed, not knowing how to explain any of that without sounding fucking psychotic, so she simply nodded a little. “’m sorry”

“Hey, no need to apologize, i get it, its 2 am and we both have class tomorrow, its all good. You had fun tonight though?” Dani hooked her arm through Sam’s, guiding them back towards the restaurant and where they had parked. 

Sam blinked in surprise at the time, but didnt comment on it, instead answering, “This has been the best night ive had in.. ever? Its been so much fun just talking with you, and hanging out, and just.. being with you. Youre so sweet and funny and patient, and i.. really hope we can do this again sometime soon?”

Dani smiled, swinging their hands between them as she nodded rapidly. “Id be so down for that, and we can go out earlier than today? Just so we arent out all night?”

Sam nodded, looking up at Dani nervously, “Fuck yeah, or we could like.. i dunno, set up something so we spend the night together..?” 

“Sam Kyle, are you implying-”

“No!! No, not like that!!!!” Dani started laughing again as Sam covered her face with her free hand.

When Dani calmed down again, they had reached the parking lot and stopped walking. “I wouldnt mind having a sleepover though, with or without that.” She said with a fond smile. 

“That.. yeah, fuck yeah, how bout we plan something in the morning?” Dani agreed, and they shared another small kiss before going their separate ways. 

Sam walked quietly into the cabin, sure Kat would be asleep by now. She shot a quick text to Dani telling her that she arrived safely, getting one a few minutes later saying the same. They said their thank you’s and good night’s, before Sam noticed she still had Dani’s jacket on. 

She snorted as she saw herself in the mirror, flapping the sleeves briefly before deciding she did still look cute in it; the color even matched the flowers on her dress! 

She took one last picture, and went to send it to Nic, finally seeing that he had wished her good luck before she even left for the date, and had sent another message asking about how it went. With a small smile, she hit send on the photo, the caption a long ramble about how much fun they had and that they were planning another one soon. 

He responded with a small joke about the comfortable shoes, before saying how happy he was that she was moving on and finding some happy of her own. 

They talked for another few minutes while Sam took her meds, got changed into pjs and washed off the makeup, saying good night’s of their own before she laid down to finally sleep, after three very long, anxious days. 

She cuddled close to Peter, her amethyst necklace around his bear neck, bidding goodnight to the stars around her room and both her dads, finally having a completely dreamless night’s sleep. 

[itsthwippingtime]

oh buddy what was ur TOK thing that u were gonna say

oh fuck i totally forgot 

okay so long post here 

for those who don’t know in IB you have to do a TOK Oral Presentation. You pick a topic and “Real Life Situation” - which has to be something thats actually happened - related to that topic. From that you derive a “Knowledge Question” and “Secondary Knowledge Questions” and you use “Areas of Knowledge” and “Ways of Knowing” to answer that question. Confused? Me too. 

So basically you have to present for 7-10 minutes, or 16-20 minutes if you’re a group of two.

Well being in a class of 11, there was not a lot of people who i could partner up with. I had two choices (obviously) but i let the fear of public speaking cloud my judgment and decided to partner up with a student who was not… the best? 

idk he’s a nice guy and i didnt think he was that bad of a student but my lord did i underestimate him. 

so we had about a month to do this. naturally i did not start until about a week before. but the thing was i actually started. i tried to contact my partner multiple times throughout the month and he did not contact me back. 

so heres where the tea comes from. the day before we present. crunch time right? I'm “halfway done” at this point but as far as i know he hasn’t even started yet. we share a class together apart from this one so in that class he asked if we could get together after school to work on the project. 

i told him i couldn’t until 6ish because of work. he was visibly irritated because “we present tomorrow” but sorry?? i was unable to get out of work?? so??

so when i got off work i texted him. i did not here from him. at all. so i worked on the project. i finished my part. i tried to contact him multiple times. it was 8:30. i couldn’t wait any longer. i emailed my teacher and asked if i could present alone. i knew it would be difficult to reach 10 minutes of information by myself, i could not make it to 20. not in a long shot. 

my partner contacts me over snapchat. all his says his to call him and sends his number (which i already had????)(its important to note that about a week before he notified me that he got his phone taken away but BUT he said he got it back so????) 

so i was like “no i can’t.” and he was like “whenever.” and i was like “no. did you get my texts?” and he was like “no” so i screenshot the texts i sent him - including the one of me telling him that we are no longer products - and i said “sorry.” so the question follows like this

HIM: if you do it by yourself its only ten minutes

H: its fine

ME:  i know thats why i had to do this

H: …not really

M: why do you mean by that?

H: figure it out

H: i don’t understand why you think this is the best solution. 

M: because it’s due tomorrow and so far i was the only one who did anything, granted i didn’t start until monday but i tried to communicate with you and meet up with you but you never responded. you didn’t contact me until 9 pm the night before the project is due, half an hour after i emailed [teacher] about the change in plans. sorry.

H: okay

so yeah thats my story. i got 7:37(?) on the presentation and i made an 89. sorry but if i wasn’t even able to make it to 8 minutes by myself how would i have been able to make it to 20? he hasn’t spoken to me since and granted i haven’t spoken to him but??? oh well. 

again sorry for the long post

[loxxxlay]

okay. Im upset and I cant sleep so Im gonna get it out of my head. tldr; rant incomimg, forgive T.T Ill delete it in the morning when I feel Ive adequately self pitied, sorry. :(

Everyone keeps asking "are u gonna finish Moment of Peace?" (thank you for interest!!!) and like theoretically the answer is yes, but the problem is Ive worked myself into a stress ball about it - and the conditions are: I can't write anything (or enjoy writing anything) until A Moment of Peace is done.

And boy, would I fucking like to finish A Moment of Peace? hell yes. was i fucking excited while writing the final chapter all those months ago? Fucking Hell Yes. No roadblocks. I knew what I wanted. I was going to WRITE it.

Until some mother fucker decided to plaguarize the second half of my first chapter (a piece of writing that i am MOST proud of to this day). Without any credit or mention whatsoever. It devastated me. Their fics were completely unsuccessful on ao3, until they stole my ideas. (I mention this because I was one of the first people who ever commented on any of their prior fics.) And now all of their fics have countless comments and kudos - probably more than MY fics at this point. And tbh, writing for this fandom hasnt felt the same since :( I havent enjoyed it as much. other than with brothers of habit (the oneshot, not the series), I haven't been as passionate.

And its falling into the same old fucking pattern that Last Try did. One person up and ruins it for me and I can never get it back.

I hate that I let this happen. Why am I so sensitive? What the fuck is wrong with me?

The worst part is that it feels like no one believes me or that they think Im being unfair/unreasonable. I thought the anxiety was all in my head and that everything would be okay.... until a few months ago when Ao3 officially decided they didnt believe me either. And like okay whatever. I guess I'll need another 2 year hiatus to be able to write anything and enjoy myself again.

And I said back then I wasnt gonna namedrop but you know what its 11 pm, 6 months later, and Im still sobbing over it, even now, and there's nothing else i can do because ao3 didnt believe me... so fuck it, here it is.

i dont want them to get hate, that wont help me. but i guess it might help to hear if anyone else sees the obvious plaguarism in the 2nd half of the first chapter. idk. i cant even trust myself on it anymore. validation is nice.

p.s. i know some fics have loosely adopted my ideas, so if ur one of those ppl and u see this, dont worry. its a totally different story if u give me credit or even mention me/rec me somewhere. which is something that everyone exxept this person has done. so thank you ❤

[letmeletmetrashyourlove]

Indiana

Summary: One argument leads to another. Billy betrays his childhood sweetheart’s trust. 

Authors Note: Written with the song Konstantine by Something Corporate in mind. 

REQUESTS OPEN

PART TWO

I like song requests like this one, I can just kinda write as it comes to me instead of trying to go off a promt.

FEEDBACK ALWAYS APPRECIATED, ESPECIALLY IF YOU DIDNT LIKE IT. I always strive to make my work better (seriously, you can roast me if you want to )

I swallowed my pride as I shoved my hands into my pockets. Billy and I argued when he told me he was moving to Indiana. I made accusations that it was because of him getting into trouble at school. A switch in him just flipped when he discovered his parent's split. He had never been a particularly sociable guy, always explicit and abrasive. But he diverted from carrying it inside to taking out on other people. I couldn’t even count on all my fingers how many quarrels he had gotten into at school in the past year. One kid bumped into him in the hallway and he lost it, knocking the poor boy to the ground and breaking his nose. It was some kind of blessing that the principal hadn't expelled him yet. Or maybe it was the fact that his father came in and berated the principal every time there was trouble. His new stepsister and I met only a handful of times. She was sweet, and honestly, hilarious. Billy didn’t see her in the same light that I did. He regarded her as a pest, somewhat to blame for the separation.

Despite all that happened, we were childhood friends that grew into something more. I always had his back, and he always had mine. Whether or not we stayed together, I needed to apologize for what I said.

I tiptoed up the steps, peering in through the window. There was Billy, on the couch with another girl. His pants were discarded, and she straddled his lap.

Everything we’d gone through together flashed through my mind as I neglected to avert my eyes.

I rang the doorbell, causing them both to jump. I presented myself in the window, throwing them the middle finger before taking off back towards my car. Yelling burst from inside the house until Billy stumbled out, still struggling to pull his jeans on over his legs.

     “Y/N, wait!” He called.

    “No.” I growled, whirling around to face him  “No.”

I backed away from Billy as he approached me with his arms open. Neither of us knew what to say.

    “Y/N.” He uttered, tears springing into his eyes.

    “No. No, no. No, no, no, no, no.” I repeated, my brain not able to come up with anything more substantial. I placed one hand over my mouth as the tears sprang out onto my cheeks.

    “That wasn’t what you thought it was.” He insisted, reaching out for my hand.

    “No! Don’t- Don’t fucking touch me.” I cried, swatting his hand away and turning on my heels, sprinting away from him.

    “Y/N!?” He screamed after me, following me close behind.

My mind reeled, flying back to all those nights we had spent on my couch with him sobbing into my shoulder about his father beating him senseless. Cleaning him up after fights. Laughing while watching movies. Playing boring ass board games that always ended in us making out. Attempting to do group projects that always ended in us arguing. Falling asleep on each other after a long day. Our blissfully oblivious innocence had suddenly been ripped out from underneath me like a rug, sending me into a freefall.

Was any of that even real? Was he pulling the same shit on other girls? Was I not enough for him? Was I his first choice or was I further down the list?

He caught my wrist, pulling me back toward him. I pushed off his chest, trying not to show the tears that were streaming down my face.

    “Let go of me!” I exclaimed, straining against his grip. He never once laid a hand on me in a way I wouldn’t want. He feared turning into his father, but that fear had either gone, or was buried deep under his emotional trauma.  

    “Please, please, don’t go.” He pleaded, “Please, you’re the love of my life.”

    “Fuck you.” I spat through gritted teeth, yanking my wrist out of his grip as I pulled my keys from my bag and got into my car.

I laid on the horn as I threw the car into reverse, speeding off down the road. The headlights turned into starbursts as the tears flew from my eyes. I frantically wiped them away as I blew through at least one stop sign on the way home.

I couldn’t cry anymore. Exhaustion was beginning to sweep over me just as there was a knock at my door. I knew exactly who it was, and I wanted nothing more than to be able to ignore it. But my body moved without my mind’s permission, dragging me to the front door. I glanced through the frosted window, seeing the outline of a figure dressed in denim.

    “Why are you even here? What else do you want from me?” I shouted at him through the door.

    “I came here to ask you to go to Indiana with me!”  

I yanked the door open, so hard I was afraid I would pull it right off its hinges. Go to Indiana? He can’t possibly expect me to drop everything and go with him. Especially not after tonight.

    “Go to Indiana with you!? I just caught you about to fuck some other girl!” I screamed, tears that I thought were depleted returning to my eyes.

To be honest, before I saw him with her, I would have considered it. So what if I was 17, I could finish my senior year, go to Purdue and study god knows what. Do what our parents did, marry our high school sweethearts and start a life there. Sure, it seemed far off, but I could think that far ahead with him. He had been such a constant, I couldn’t imagine him not remaining in my life.

    “I can’t go without you…” He admitted, rocking back and forth on his heels. He had yet to look me in the eyes.

    “You know how much shit I put up with for you?” I snarled, “How many times I wanted to leave?”

I flashed back to some drunk asshole at a party who stumbled up to me and spilled his drink on my top. I was annoyed, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. Billy, though, he thought differently. The next thing I knew the kid was pinned on the floor as Billy wailed on his face. The only reason he stopped was because the cops came.

    “I know, I know-” He began.

I didn’t care to let him elaborate. Nothing he could say would make me change my mind. Nothing he could say could make me forgive him. And there damn well wasn’t a thing he could say to convince me to go with him.

    “I thought maybe you being such a jackass was because of your dad. You were sweet to me, so what did it matter, right? It’s okay that you beat people up for the hell of it. It’s okay that you drink yourself into a coma a couple of times a week. Because you loved me, right? All I needed was somebody that loved me.” I scoffed, my tears of sadness turning into tears of anger. Not at him, but at myself for not realizing this would happen sooner or later.

    “Loved, you? I still love you!” He asserted.

    “Really? Love is sticking your dick in the first new thing that walks by?”

    “Babe-” 

    “No. Don’t you fucking dare call me that, not right now.” I shrieked, loud enough for the neighbors to hear. I thanked God that my parents were out of town.

    “You got so mad at me when I told you about Indiana… You said you were done… I thought you meant we were done.” He defended, restlessly twisting his ring around his finger.

    “You fucking tell me that I’m the love of your life, yet the second we break up, you’ve moved on with somebody else!?”

    “It’s not like that!”

    “No, of course, it’s not! It’s never ‘like that’�� I sneered, “That’s totally not the go-to of every cheater on the fucking planet.”  

    “It wasn’t about her! I don’t give a damn about her!” He roared, “I thought we were done. I needed somebody to run to. I couldn’t fucking deal with losing you!”

    “No. No. That’s not a good enough reason.” I argued, “You didn’t see me doing the same damn thing. Jesus Christ, Billy! We had this for years since we were kids. And you didn’t even take a second to mourn that.”

    “Baby-”

    “Leave,” I uttered.

    “Please don’t do this.”

    “You know, as bad as you just hurt me, you’re the only person I want to talk to right now.” I whimpered.

He dipped his head, avoiding my gaze as he brought his hands up to wipe his tears. His whole body was trembling, having to use all of his strength not to completely lose it.

    “Please. Just go.” I begged.

    “I’m sorry.”

10/15/84 4:36 am: I’m leaving tomorrow… Uh… the van is all packed up and we’re driving out there. You… won’t be able to call me for a few days… I know that…. You probably don’t want to talk to me anyway. But…. Just know…. I love you. Please… answer next time I call. I love you. I’ll… talk to you later. Or maybe I’ll talk to your answering machine later, who knows.

10/17/84: 4:22 pm: Hey… It’s me… again. We’re in Colorado. About halfway there. It’s beautiful here. The mountains are gorgeous. There’s snow, too. I know how much you love snow. Remember when we went skiing that one year, and I ate shit going down the hill? You laughed your ass off until you realized I was hurt.  I wish you were here too. Maybe if I hadn’t been such a dick, you would be.

10/19/84 8:49 pm: Hey, Y/N. It would be nice to hear your voice. We just got into town… This place is a shithole. Everybody here is boring as hell. There isn’t a single girl here who even compares to you. I got assigned some book that I know you really like. I don’t see how, it’s the most boring thing I’ve ever read. Maybe you could tell me why you love it so much? Maybe you could call me back.

11/01/84 2:36 am: It’s me. I know I haven’t called in a while, but I’m drunk as hell. I just beat my keg record. Not that you would care, you always thought beer was disgusting. I thought things here might be looking up. But… Dad… He’s been… it’s gotten worse. I really need to talk to you.

It was maybe the dozenth message I had listened to over the past month. Each one sounded more desperate than the last.

One last time, I swallowed my pride, dialing my phone. I waited through the rings on the other end.

“What?” A gruff voice replied, blowing what I assume was a puff of smoke.

“Billy?” I asked.

He took a deep breath,

“Y/N?”

[skinnyghosttears]

May 20, 2021

10:04 am

Woke up over 2 hours ago, walked the dogs, had water, using the cyclette rn. At this point Im really tired of being super positive every fucking morning and ruin everything in the evening. So idk, the plan for today is 460kcal but who knows what the hell my brain will push me to eat. I really had a bad breakdown last night, because I did really good until after dinner. But whats the point olin spending hours exercising, buying safe foods and cry over one biscuit if I do this? I keep going up and down the same 2kgs, and Im tired. Really tired.

11:35 am

Burned 1200kcal on the cyclette. Im gonna try and do the same in the afternoon. If I cant eat how I plan, I will burn every. single. thing.

Im also feeling empty and hungry-sh? Idk.

3:17 pm

Changed plan to 675kcal, I added a snack and I will finish pickles at dinner.

Its fine tho, I already exercised a lot and I still have to do sooo much. I hope this can prevent a binge later.

I liked a lot rice and tuna at lunch, I will eat it more in the future.

7:23 pm

So fat so good, I almost binged on ice cream but I stopped myself before taking it out of the box. Im really hungry, had over 2 liters of water, and Im gonna have healthy fries for dinner (I will not fry them lmao, long live the airfryer.)

8:27 pm

I ate a meatball (my mom cooked those arnd she was so happy I ate one) and two slices of melon, plus what I planned. Its fine tho, I still feel hungry and I crave the universe, Im gonna exercise more on the cyclette and walk.

Didnt binged, Im now really focused and I will not eat until tomorrow lunch.

21:05 pm

Just realised I will have pizza on saturday. Im so scared because it will be high in calories BUT I will do it, so I can change the amount of stuff I'll use. I really want to do it even if Im so fucking terrified of it. Im gonna eat only veggies for lunch so I will not add too many extra calories, no snacks and maybe y'know, a lot of exercise. I dont want to feel like its a cheat day, since I feel I can break my binge cycle.

22:18 pm

Burned a total of 2100kcal on thr cyclette, plus thr ones of my walks. Im so happy and proud of myself, mostly because I managed to not binge. I hope to get totally back on track. Im now struggling with breathing, but I def need a shower and deserve a good face mask. Tomorrow I'll go and buy some hair dye, I want to go half blonde-ish.

[lenanotluthorfabray]

Interruptions and Conversation || Black&Wicked Ones

Who: Lena Fabray & Issy Berry When: 6.6.17 ; after 11 pm What: Lena needs an escape, gets caught when time isn’t on her side. Deep conversation ensues. Warnings: Self harm

Lena had known the breakdown was coming. It was nothing new. However, sharing a room with Issy had sped up the processes and complicated it all in one go. Knowing her friend had gone out for karaoke night, she knew she had a roughly five hour window before she had to deal with Issy being back. She'd gone out to dinner, an attempt to ignore the urges plaguing the back of her mind. Once she'd returned, she'd showered and did her best to kill time, hoping that maybe, just maybe, she'd be able to get away without harming. As she sat around after her shower, in a tank top and shorts, she made the mistake of putting on her usual playlist for when things got like this. Choosing to ignore the time, instead of the urges, she flipped open her lighter, lit a cigarette and then moved her wrist over the flame. The relief was almost instant, as the flame licked at the skin of her wrist. Little did she know, time was not on her side.

Isabella was glad to be done with karaoke. Nothing against having fun and singing, but she didnt want to be around her sister forever or anyone else for that matter. She made her way back to Lena's and her's room before she smelled smoke. She furrowed her eyebrows before she put the key into the door and opened up to see Lena. "What are you doing." She tossed her key and walked over towards Lena. 

Lena dropped her lighter the minute she heard her friend's voice. The metal clattered to the table and she instinctively put what was left of the cigarette out on her wrist before tossing it into the ash tray. Her wrist now stung, in a way she loved yet hated, and she sighed. The glaring red of the burns stuck out against her pale skin, among the old scars that were so clearly visible up and down both arms, including the one on her right forearm, caused by her drunken stupidity. She'd yet to wrap it back up after her shower, figuring it could use some time to air out. "Feeling, what's it look like?" Okay so, totally not an appropriate answer but it was still true, more or less. 

Isabella grabbed the ice bucket, that was melted now and shook her head as she sat down after she grabbed the first kid kit. "It looks like you were harming yourself, Le." She said as she looked at her and didn't know what to feel. "Gimme your arms."

Lena rolled her eyes. "Same difference, yeah?" Her words were harsh as she held out her left arm, figuring she'd worry about her right one later, after the left was taken care of. "Guess now you know why Q didn't tell you what really went on the night she patched up my drunken stupidity." A humorless laugh left her lips as she looked at her own wrists. God, how had she gotten this bad off? That she couldn't even make it a week without fucking up? Now she was stuck with Issy knowing her secret on top of Quinn knowing and everything seemed to be out to screw her over.

Isabella looked at her and held her tongue. "Bad way to feel if you tell me." She replied as she started taking care of her arm and knew that this whole thing was a mess. "Yeah and I know why you didn't tell me what happened. Wasn't an act of drunken stupidity." She swallowed hard, not knowing what to do or what to think or what to say right now. "How long have you been doing this?"

Lena shrugged a bit as Issy spoke. "Better bad than not at all." Lena sighed as Issy spoke, flinching only slightly as Issy patched up her arms. "This wasn't," she moved her left hand lightly. "This," she held up her right forearm, "technically was. I mean, not all of it was, but drunk me thought it was an excellent idea to burn the arm I'd splashed alcohol on." Lena sighed as Issy asked the question not even Quinn had asked. Sure, she'd told Quinn, but Quinn hadn't asked. "Stole the Zippo at age twelve, my thighs got it first." She pulled up the leg of her shorts on the leg closest to Issy, revealing old, long healed scars. "Probably took to fucking with my arms at thirteen. My legs couldn't take climbing and skating while burned."

Isabella saw her filched. "Sorry." She replied softly once she was done patching up her arms and gathered all of the garbage, looked at her as she spoke. She swallowed once more, blinked away the tears. She glanced at her leg, seeing the healed scars and looked at her as she continued to tell her. She felt stupid, beyond stupid at the fact that this was happening right underneath her nose and in front of her. "I want you to know that I am not mad at you. I care a lot about you and I don't know what has been happening for you to relapse, but Im here for you."

Lena shrugged a bit when Issy apologized. It wasn't something to apologize for, a little extra pain while patching up was expected. Lena watched Issy, examined the way her friend was reacting, the way she spoke when she finally did. It hurt more than she expected it to and she was quick to reach out for Issy, gently pulling her friend into her lap. Tucking her chin over her friend's shoulder, she hugged Issy to her. "It's not relapse when you haven't tried to stop it." She sighed. "I'm always fighting it. Usually, I can ignore it. Recently, things have gotten more chaotic and I haven't been able to deal with it. Q finding out..." Closing her eyes against the tears that wanted to fall. "It was just too much."

Isabella let the girl pulled her friend into her lap and placed her hands on Lena's arms. She listened to her, sniffed and glanced at her the best she could. She gently rubbed her arms in hopes it could comfort her. "Hey...." She gently moved and faced her as she gently cupped her face. "Everything's going to be okay, I know it doesnt seem like it but its going to be okay..Im here for you, Im going to be part of the support system with Q.." She gave her a small smile. "I don't know why you started doing it, but Im going to be there with you, every step of the way. I'll stand by you and you can lean on me when you're not strong."

Lena sighed, smiling sadly at Issy. The feeling of her friend's hands on her arms was an odd sensation and she couldn't figure out how she felt about it. It wasn't the worst feeling in the world and it helped ease her nerves with the slight pain it brought. Looking at her friend, she leaned their foreheads together. "Thanks, Is." Her words were soft as she closed her eyes again and took a deep breath. "I don't even know anymore. Chaos kind of took control and I wanted to take that back, I don't know. Got going and then couldn't stop because it helped so much, to feel and to be alive. It just, was so easy." Opening her eyes once again, she looked at her friend. "I'm sorry you had to see this, Is. I never..."

Isabella nodded gently when she heard her. "You're welcome Le." She said softly and listened to her some more. Her heart hurt for her friend, the one person she wanted to make sure she didn't want to hurt or see hurt but yet she did. She was grateful though and knew that this was important. She shook her head at her apologize. "I know Le.." She sadly smile at her before she gave her friend a hug and rubbed her back.

Lena hugged Issy back, burying her head in her friend's neck. She lost the battle against the tears. Crying wasn't her thing, but at this point, she didn't have the energy to keep fighting it. It was, admittedly, nice to be held by someone who wasn't her sister, or herself. She was glad Issy was the second person, after Quinn, to know. Outside of her sister, Issy was probably the only other person she'd be okay with them knowing. Luna was a close third, but the pair were too similar for Lena to imagine it going over. She also just didn't want anyone else knowing, at least for a while. 

Isabella kept rubbing her back as she held her close to her and let her own tears roll down her cheeks. "When the night, has come..and the land is dark. And the moon is the only light we see." She started to sing softly as she held the girl close to her. "No, I won't be afraid...No I won't be afraid just as along as you stand by me." She blinked away her tears and sniffed. "So darling, So darling, darling. Stand by me, oh stand by me. Oh stand, Stand by me." She sniffed once more as she glanced down at her best friend. "If the sky we look upon, Should tumble and fall, Or the mountain should crumble to the sea I won't cry, I won't cry, No, I won't shed a tear, Just as long as you stand, stand by me." She let out a shaky breath as she continued to sing."So darling, darling, Stand by me, oh stand by me. Oh stand, stand by me."

Lena clung to her friend as Issy began to sing. The sound of Issy singing had her crying harder, because she could hear the way her friend's voice broke. She found herself humming along lightly. It was a song she knew, but had never imagined to hear out of her friend's mouth, particularly not directed at her. Something about Issy singing it to her made it take on a whole different meaning. It hurt in a way she never wanted to hurt. It was a form of emotional pain she didn't want to deal with, but she had to because this was reality. She had caused herself so much pain but never imagined that it could hurt her friends and family. That it would get that bad.

Isabella pressed a kiss against her head once she finished singing and just held Lena more. She wanted her to know that she could count her and she was going to be there for her. "Do you want me to hold you tonight?" She asked softly as she felt her phone vibrate and ignored it.

Lena was quiet for a bit, doing the best she could to regain what was left of her composure. It took a bit, but she managed to pull herself away from Issy. "Yeah, but I'll let you know when I'm ready to sleep. Take care of whoever wants you, I probably need to text Q back... It's been a few hours." She sighed, picking her phone up off the table, thankful she hadn't gotten any additional texts from Quinn.

Isabella nodded when she heard the other girl and bit on her lower lip. "Okay...Yeah, text her back and I should text her." She replied as she picked up her phone and stood up carefully. "In the meantime, would you like something to drink?"

Lena sighed a bit sending off a few quick texts to her sister before standing. She pulled on her jacket, not really looking forward to sleeping with bare arms. "Uh, no, I'm good. I'll probably refill my water bottle, if I need anything." Lena then flopped down onto her bed, waiting for her phone to buzz again. Staring up at the ceiling, she couldn't imagine how she'd gotten to this point in her life, but fuck it, she was there. "You think the gossips at this school actually see something between Nat and I? Sorry... random thought is random..."

Isabella nodded as she listened to her, knowing that she didnt have any pair change on her at the moment and walked over towards her bed before she sat down. "Okay." She replied and raised an eyebrow when she heard Lena mentioning something Nat and her. "They might, no. No need to be sorry.. I like random thoughts."

Lena sighed propping herself up on her elbows, looking over at Issy. "I mean, if you take into consideration these are the same people who could see our sisters getting together... I don't know. Just a weird thought." She flopped back down. "I, occasionally, like random thoughts, but these are annoying to me. I don't stand a chance with her, even if I could sort out whatever the hell my brain is trying to tell me." Lena groaned a bit, picking up a pillow and covering her face, yelling in frustration. Why did her brain like doing this to her? This was a very stupid thought.

Isabella slowly nodded when she remembered what the gossip blog said about Quinn and Rachel getting together. "That's true and one of them has a huge crush on Christian." She added before she scratched her shoulder and shook her head with a soft smile. "You do stand a chance with her, Nat is a very beautiful girl and so are you." She frowned when she covered her face and yelled.

Lena removed the pillow from her face, raising her eyebrow before scoffing. "Me and Nat? Please. She's so far into Narnia I'm a little worried about her finding God." Her words weren't harsh, but a little sad. "Besides, even if she managed to admit to liking chicks, what chance, outside of my apparent appearance, which is debatable at best, does the twin sister of her ex-best friend actually stand? Seriously. She avoided me, at least in part, because of Q and I being identical. Not that I even know what it is I possibly feel. Cause fuck if I'm actually in tune with my own feelings."

Isabella nodded as she agreed and placed her chin on her knee. "Yeah, you and Nat. Nah, she's fine honesty." She said and hummed a bit. "You actually would stand a hella chance and so what? She gotten over it, by the way she talks to you." She looked at her and crossed her legs over each other. "Le....You don't have to figure out your feelings right away."

Lena sighed, rolling her eyes a bit. "You sure? Cause the amount of gay panic that I get off her is a little scary." It was the kind of fear Lena could read on a person, because she had become so well versed in feeling it, the kind that meant revealing your deepest secret. When it came to someone like Nat, it was similar to how she felt around her parents. While she could be wrong, something about the way Nat acted around her felt off, felt different. "Are you saying that as my friend, her friend, or some awkward combination of the two? Cause like..." Lena didn't really want Issy to tell her what she wanted to hear, mostly because she wasn't sure what that was, but also because she preferred honesty, at least in moments like this. "I mean, she says she has. Q says she has. Have no reason to believe otherwise, but still... I'm, me." Lena sat up, looking at Issy. "I don't want to have them in the first place. The complicate things. They confuse me because I don't want to like someone, like that, and have them think they like me but then find out what I do to myself and realize they don't. I can't deal with that."

Isabella "She's, having a hard time accepting it. That's what Im observing anyway." Isabella said as she laid on her side and propped her head up. "Im saying that as someone who is watching her two friends flirt and want them to be happy because you guys deserve to be happy. No more of this random hooking up on her end and no more hardass from you. Im not blind whenever you two are around each other. Hence why I wasn't upset about the beach thing." She pointed out and slowly nodded. "They do complicate things, but that's life..Believe me, I don't want them either but here I am. I have feelings." She frowned as she quickly moved to Lena's bed. "They will still like you,desipte of you hurting yourself Le...I know its scary to even think about that..But, if Nat knows, she will still like you."

Lena sighed. "I mean, I get it, and I certainly don't blame her." A laugh escaped her lips and she bit her bottom lip. "Hardass? Me? Noooo, never~" She teased, smirking a bit. "We're kindred spirits, not sure I'd call whatever it is we do flirting, but whatever." She shrugged, watching as Issy joined her. Her friend spoke the truth, whether she wanted to believe her or not. The fact was, no matter what she felt, she couldn't get rid of them, not easily anyway. "I'm not even in any kind of place where I could handle her finding out and I don't want that to be something that comes as some sort of shock or surprise. I- I can't let it be."

Isabella made an oh face and heard her laugh. "Its true, you act like you're a badass but underneath you're a teddy bear that certain people get to see." She smiled as she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and shrugged a bit. She looked at Lena, sat next to her and wrapped her arms around the other girl. "I know love and nothing says you have to tell her. Baby steps are important to do especially if you're in no condition to tell her something like this."

Lena leaned into Issy, laughing a bit. "Well we can't all be teddy bears all the time, now can we?" She teased, poking Issy in the side gently. Listening to Issy, she sighed. This was not the conversation she'd been expecting to have with her friend, but i was better than the other alternative, so she accepted it. "I know, but..." She fell back, pulling Issy with her, in no mood to be sitting up. "Outside of maybe figuring out if she likes me back, I don't see what baby steps there are. This is the thing that I hinge basically everything on, it's my highest form of trust, Is. I base everything on trust."

Isabella shook her head with a smile. "Nope, we can't actually." She laughed a bit when Lena poked her a bit and let out a breath of relief when they laid down. "I know....So maybe until you can trust her, you don't have to tell her."

Lena sighed, moving to curl up on her side. "Only problem with that is that I haven't, technically, just told someone about this. I've been caught in a situation where I had to. Q had to patch up my arm. You walked in on me. It kind of makes me wonder if I'll ever feel ready, y'know?" Part of Lena knew she'd end up doing it, whether she truly knew how to or not, the rest of her wanted to think whatever she felt would go away and she wouldn't have to worry about it. Neither option seemed pleasant, but she couldn't pinpoint which one was worse.

Isabella listened to her and nodded. "Yeah, it kinda makes it hard to tell anyone and I promise I won't say anything." She wasn't her place to tell anyone and understood where Quinn was coming from the other day. She chewed on her bottom lip as she thought and remember an article on people getting tattoos on their self harm scars. "What if, when we get home, we'll go and get matching tattoos? I read somewhere some people get tattoos to cover up their scars."

Lena laughed a bit, the exhaustion slowly settling in. "I could use a thigh piece. Wouldn't dare my arms, but my thighs have seen their last flame. Not sure what we'd get, but maybe." She yawned, curling a bit further into herself, instinctively pulling her hoodie over her head. She was far too tired to keep up any real conversation and, at this point, she really didn't want to think. Something in the back of her head suggested the tattoo would be an excellent gateway to telling people but it was quickly drowned out by the exhaustion.

Isabella unwrapped her arm from around her and nodded. "Sweet. We can think about it and whatnot." She replied softly, gotten up and covered her up with her blanket. "Night Le."

[workinprogres5]

Ouch. Sounds like you're having a tough time max. That sucks. I've been there, so I kinda know what you're talking about. I've been in the ever circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing. It's no bueno. I know. If you don't mind lemme tell you a couple things. You can read em if you want, read em again later if you feel like it. But honestly man, if I spend all this time typing this out to you and you don't let it be a little tinder for your fire, well, you're just letting us both down. And you don't HAVE to do that. You don't HAVE to do anything. But you get to choose. (Who am I? My name’s Ryan and I live in Canada. Just moved to a new city for a dream job that I got because of the rules below. I owe a lot of my success to people much cooler, kinder, more loving and greater than me. When I get the chance to maybe let a little bit of help out, it’s a way of thanking them. ) Rule numero uno - There are no more zero days. What's a zero day? A zero day is when you don't do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I'm not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt' do anything all fucking day and it's 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you're in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that's what you're used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn't happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That's rule number one. Do not forget. La deuxieme regle - yeah i learnt french. its a canadian thing. please excuse the lack of accent graves, but lemme get into rule number 2. BE GRATEFUL TO THE 3 YOU'S. Uh what? 3 me's? That sounds like mumbo jumbo bullshit. News flash, there are three you's homeslice. There's the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you's are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you've done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro. Feeling like shit today? Stop a second, think of a good decision you made yesterday. Salad and tuna instead of Big Mac? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Was yesterday a nonzero day because you wrote 200 words (hey, that's all you could muster)? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Saved up some coin over time to buy that sweet thing you wanted? THANK YOU. Second part of the 3 me's is you gotta do your future self a favour, just like you would for your best fucking friend (no best friend? you do now. You got 2. It's future and past you). Tired as hell and can't get off reddit/videogames/interwebs? fuck you present self, this one's for future me, i'm gonna rock out p90x Ab Ripper X for 17 minutes. I'm doing this one for future me. Alarm clock goes off and bed is too comfy? fuck you present self, this one's for my best friend, the future me. I'm up and going for a 5 km run (or 25 meter run, it's gotta be non zero). MAKE SURE YOU THANK YOUR OLD SELF for rocking out at the end of every.single.thing. that makes your life better. The cycle of doing something for someone else (future you) and thanking someone for the good in your life (past you) is key to building gratitude and productivity. Do not doubt me. Over time you should spread the gratitude to others who help you on your path. Rule number 3- don't worry i'm gonna too long didnt' read this bad boy at the bottom (get a pencil and piece of paper to write it down. seriously. you physically need to scratch marks on paper) FORGIVE YOURSELF. I mean it. Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn't do it. Now you're giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being dissapointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? so what. I forgive you previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one's for you future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud. Last rule. Rule number 4, is the easiest and its three words. exercise and books. that's it. Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. when you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). when you exercise you clear your mind. when you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we've all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. Get some books max. Post to reddit about not caring about yourself? Good first step! (nonzero day, thanks younger me for typing it out) You know what else you could do? Read 7 habits of highly successful people. Read "emotional intelligence". Read "From good to great". Read “thinking fast and slow”. Read books that will help you understand. Read the bodyweight fitness reddit and incorporate it into your workouts. (how's them pullups coming?) Reading is the fucking warp whistle from Super Mario 3. It gets you to the next level that much faster. That’s about it man. There’s so much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days, but that’s not your mission right now. Your mission is nonzero and forgiveness and favours. You got 36 essays due in 24 minutes and its impossible to pull off? Your past self let you down big time, but hey… I forgive you. Do as much as you can in those 24 minutes and then move on. I hope I helped a little bit max. I could write about this forever, but I promised myself I would go do a 15 minute run while listening to A. Skillz Beats Working Vol. 3. Gotta jet. One last piece of advice though. Regardless of whether or not reading this for the first time helps make your day better, if you wake up tomorrow, and you can’t remember the 4 rules I just laid out, please, please. Read this again. Have an awesome fucking day ☺ tldr; 1. Nonzero days as much as you can. 2. The three you’s, gratitude and favours. 3. Forgiveness 4. Exercise and books (which is a sneaky way of saying self improvement, both physical, emotional and mental) Edit: Wow reddit gold? Thanks! No idea what to do with it or whats the deal but many thanks! Edit2: Someone asked what I meant by "much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days". The long and short of it is a simple truth, but it's tough to TOTALLY UNDERSTAND AND PRACTICE. It's this: you become what you think. This doesnt mean if I think of a tree, I'll be oakin' it by august. It means that the WAY you think, the THINGS you think of, and the IDEAS YOU HOLD IN YOUR MIND defines the sum total that is you. You procrastinate all the time and got fear and worry goin on for something? You are becoming a procrastinator. You keep thinking about how much you want to run that 5 k race in the spring and finish a champion? Are ya keeping it in mind all the time? Is it something that is defining your ACTIONS and influencing you DECISIONS? If it is, then you're becoming the champion you're dreaming about. Dreaming about it makes it. Think and it shall be. But do not forget that action is thought's son. Thoughts without actions are nothing. Have faith in whatever it is you've steeled your mind to. Have faith and follow through with action. Ok, Ryan that's a bunch of nice words n shit, but how does that help me turn slightly nonzero days into hugely nonzero days. Do you believe all these words you just read? Does it makes sense to you that you BECOME WHAT YOU THINK OF? Ask yourself: What do I think of? When you get home and walk in the door. (how quickly did you turn that laptop on? Did turning it on make you closer to your dreams? What would?) At the bus stop. Lunch break. What direction are you focusing your intentions on? If you're like I was a few years ago, the answer was either No direction, or whatever caught my eye at the moment. But no stress, forgive yourself. You know the truth now. And knowing the truth means you can watch your habits, read books on how you think and act, and finally start changing your behaviour. Heres an example: Feeling like bunk cause you had zero days or barely nonzero days? THINK ABOUT WHAT YOURE DOING. and change just a little bit more. in whatever positive direction you are choosing to go. Edit3: WHOA! This blew up! Major appreciation to Modified_Duck for making this cool ass image: http://i.imgur.com/7xsp7hJ.png Edit4: Another AMAZING DESKTOP BACKGROUND! http://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/1rowpb/i_made_a_wallpaper_from_uryans01s_amazing_quote/

[pacificleo]

I dont care about Myself

https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/1q96b5/i_just_dont_care_about_myself/cdah4af/Ouch. Sounds like you're having a tough time max. That sucks. I've been there, so I kinda know what you're talking about. I've been in the ever circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing. It's no bueno. I know. If you don't mind lemme tell you a couple things. You can read em if you want, read em again later if you feel like it. But honestly man, if I spend all this time typing this out to you and you don't let it be a little tinder for your fire, well, you're just letting us both down. And you don't HAVE to do that. You don't HAVE to do anything. But you get to choose.

(Who am I? My name’s Ryan and I live in Canada. Just moved to a new city for a dream job that I got because of the rules below. I owe a lot of my success to people much cooler, kinder, more loving and greater than me. When I get the chance to maybe let a little bit of help out, it’s a way of thanking them. )

Rule numero uno - There are no more zero days. What's a zero day? A zero day is when you don't do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I'm not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt' do anything all fucking day and it's 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you're in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that's what you're used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn't happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That's rule number one. Do not forget.

La deuxieme regle - yeah i learnt french. its a canadian thing. please excuse the lack of accent graves, but lemme get into rule number 2. BE GRATEFUL TO THE 3 YOU'S. Uh what? 3 me's? That sounds like mumbo jumbo bullshit. News flash, there are three you's homeslice. There's the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you's are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you've done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro. Feeling like shit today? Stop a second, think of a good decision you made yesterday. Salad and tuna instead of Big Mac? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Was yesterday a nonzero day because you wrote 200 words (hey, that's all you could muster)? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Saved up some coin over time to buy that sweet thing you wanted? THANK YOU. Second part of the 3 me's is you gotta do your future self a favour, just like you would for your best fucking friend (no best friend? you do now. You got 2. It's future and past you). Tired as hell and can't get off reddit/videogames/interwebs? fuck you present self, this one's for future me, i'm gonna rock out p90x Ab Ripper X for 17 minutes. I'm doing this one for future me. Alarm clock goes off and bed is too comfy? fuck you present self, this one's for my best friend, the future me. I'm up and going for a 5 km run (or 25 meter run, it's gotta be non zero). MAKE SURE YOU THANK YOUR OLD SELF for rocking out at the end of every.single.thing. that makes your life better. The cycle of doing something for someone else (future you) and thanking someone for the good in your life (past you) is key to building gratitude and productivity. Do not doubt me. Over time you should spread the gratitude to others who help you on your path.

Rule number 3- don't worry i'm gonna too long didnt' read this bad boy at the bottom (get a pencil and piece of paper to write it down. seriously. you physically need to scratch marks on paper) FORGIVE YOURSELF. I mean it. Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn't do it. Now you're giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being dissapointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? so what. I forgive you previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one's for you future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud.

Last rule. Rule number 4, is the easiest and its three words. exercise and books. that's it. Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. when you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). when you exercise you clear your mind. when you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we've all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. Get some books max. Post to reddit about not caring about yourself? Good first step! (nonzero day, thanks younger me for typing it out) You know what else you could do? Read 7 habits of highly successful people. Read "emotional intelligence". Read "From good to great". Read “thinking fast and slow”. Read books that will help you understand. Read the bodyweight fitness reddit and incorporate it into your workouts. (how's them pullups coming?) Reading is the fucking warp whistle from Super Mario 3. It gets you to the next level that much faster.

That’s about it man. There’s so much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days, but that’s not your mission right now. Your mission is nonzero and forgiveness and favours. You got 36 essays due in 24 minutes and its impossible to pull off? Your past self let you down big time, but hey… I forgive you. Do as much as you can in those 24 minutes and then move on.

I hope I helped a little bit max. I could write about this forever, but I promised myself I would go do a 15 minute run while listening to A. Skillz Beats Working Vol. 3. Gotta jet. One last piece of advice though. Regardless of whether or not reading this for the first time helps make your day better, if you wake up tomorrow, and you can’t remember the 4 rules I just laid out, please, please. Read this again.

Have an awesome fucking day ☺

tldr; 1. Nonzero days as much as you can. 2. The three you’s, gratitude and favours. 3. Forgiveness 4. Exercise and books (which is a sneaky way of saying self improvement, both physical, emotional and mental)

Edit: Wow reddit gold? Thanks! No idea what to do with it or whats the deal but many thanks!

Edit2: Someone asked what I meant by "much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days". The long and short of it is a simple truth, but it's tough to TOTALLY UNDERSTAND AND PRACTICE. It's this: you become what you think. This doesnt mean if I think of a tree, I'll be oakin' it by august. It means that the WAY you think, the THINGS you think of, and the IDEAS YOU HOLD IN YOUR MIND defines the sum total that is you. You procrastinate all the time and got fear and worry goin on for something? You are becoming a procrastinator. You keep thinking about how much you want to run that 5 k race in the spring and finish a champion? Are ya keeping it in mind all the time? Is it something that is defining your ACTIONS and influencing you DECISIONS? If it is, then you're becoming the champion you're dreaming about. Dreaming about it makes it. Think and it shall be. But do not forget that action is thought's son. Thoughts without actions are nothing. Have faith in whatever it is you've steeled your mind to. Have faith and follow through with action.

Ok, Ryan that's a bunch of nice words n shit, but how does that help me turn slightly nonzero days into hugely nonzero days. Do you believe all these words you just read? Does it makes sense to you that you BECOME WHAT YOU THINK OF? Ask yourself: What do I think of? When you get home and walk in the door. (how quickly did you turn that laptop on? Did turning it on make you closer to your dreams? What would?) At the bus stop. Lunch break. What direction are you focusing your intentions on? If you're like I was a few years ago, the answer was either No direction, or whatever caught my eye at the moment. But no stress, forgive yourself. You know the truth now. And knowing the truth means you can watch your habits, read books on how you think and act, and finally start changing your behaviour. Heres an example: Feeling like bunk cause you had zero days or barely nonzero days? THINK ABOUT WHAT YOURE DOING. and change just a little bit more. in whatever positive direction you are choosing to go.

Edit3: WHOA! This blew up! Major appreciation to Modified_Duck for making this cool ass image: http://i.imgur.com/7xsp7hJ.png

Edit4: Another AMAZING DESKTOP BACKGROUND! http://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/1rowpb/i_made_a_wallpaper_from_uryans01s_amazing_quote/

Source : Reddit

[canaryatlaw]

alright, let’s get going here. the last 24 hours or so have been fairly odd, at least the first 12, because after I logged off last night and tried to fall asleep I found myself unable to do so. Usually when something like this happens it’s because I forgot to take some of the meds I need to fall asleep, but I knew I had taken them because I had specifically checked to make sure I had them before taking them that night. so I really don’t know what that was about, but I ended up being up to at least 5 am, that was the last time I checked the clock anyway. I did go on my phone at some points at ended up in a pinterest spiral of looking at different candy recipes, so I now have like 6 different types of candies I want to make right now (like, twix, homemade jolly ranchers, and homemade pop rocks to name a few) so that was slightly good at least. eventually I did fall asleep, and woke up to my 1:30 pm alarm. My original plan for today was to get up at 11 and go vote in the Chicago Mayor’s election today before I had the webinar from the Time’s Up Legal Defense Fund at 2. Since it took me forever to go to sleep I decided to switch it up and vote afterwards, so I woke up in time to get set up for the webinar. It was pretty interesting, about the intersection of disabilities and sexual harassment law, definitely a lot to learn there, this was part 1 so part 2 will be next week. I was also looking at recipes while it was going on (because I like to multitask) and made a short grocery list for the candy recipes. So when the webinar was over at 3:30 I got changed into actual clothes and ran out to go vote. Luckily for me my voting location is literally just across the street from me, and at this time of day it was virtually abandoned, like two other voters in there, so it took me very little time to get set up and into voting. There was a total of 14 candidates running for Mayor (none of which are actually aligned with political parties, they’re all just running on their own platform) which is a tad insane, and there’s been smear ads running on tv for months now about it, along with incessant text messages from different campaigns that are annoying AF. but my decision was based on the fact that there was precisely one candidate who had mentioned juvenile justice reform in any of the ads I saw from anyone, so I voted for her (the fact that she was a WOC and not a white man was also a big plus). So I got out of there in less than 10 minutes total, and walked down the street to the grocery store to get eggs and some random ingredients I needed. They didn’t end up having everything I wanted (I mean, to be fair your typical grocery store probably isn't going to carry non-fat dry milk powder, but I tried) but I got gelatin and heavy cream (for the caramel) and some extra fine sugar (which is not the same thing as powdered sugar) and a few other random things. They only had the jumbo pack of gelatin left that came with 32 packets and was a whopping $15, but given that they didn’t have several other things I wanted I just said fuck it and got it anyway. I’m sure I’ll put it to good use. Checked out and headed home, when I walked in the door kitty was trying to examine the door crack (like where the hinges are) that comes open when the door opens, and when I went to close it I heard a very pained screech, at which point I saw that she’d managed to get one of her paws stuck in the crack, so I had to reopen the door to let her get it out, then of course she darted away and was freaking out and I was just like !!! baby!!! Just let me make sure you’re okay!!! so I chased her down after a few minutes and picked her up, thankfully there was no visible injury on her paws so that was comforting at least. Like ya really gotta scare me like that kitty??? smh. Anyway. I put the groceries away and then started to get set up for the podcast episode we were going to record tonight after having to postpone it from last night. so we did that, I won’t spoil anything but it’s about 30 minutes long and we talk about the casting news as well as some of Batwoman’s appearances in the comics, and overall I think it went pretty well, so I’m pleased that should be coming out soon. After we finished with that I turned on the tv and went to amazon prime where I decided to start their new show “Lorena” that all the true crime groups I’m in on fb have been raving about for weeks now. In case you’re not familiar, it follows the story of Lorena Bobbit, who made international headlines after cutting her husband’s penis off (and not gonna lie, I was a bit of a giggling mess throughout the first episode). But it gets a lot more into how much she was abused and raped by him and just how much of a disgusting shitty person he was, so it’s really interesting. Just before 8 I switched over to actual cable to watch The Gifted season finale. I wasn’t sure how they were going to wrap everything up in one episode, but they actually did a fairly good job with it I’d say. Major spoilers ahead, **YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED** Reed :( god that was so heartbreaking, I was dead. But it was such a self-sacrificial thing he did for the safety of his family and the world at large by taking down Reeva. On the other hand, I was very glad to see Clarice return and not be dead, because I very much like her as a character and was saddened at her apparent death. And yeah, it was a really solid episode that I liked a lot, I like cried at the end when they showed Lorna and Marcos with their baby, like all the tears honestly lol. So I liked that a lot. After that was over I kept the news on because they were talking about the election results coming in. So the deal was in order to win, a candidate had to get more than 50% of the vote, and if nobody got that high, the top two would be in a run-off election at the beginning of April. Now, with 14 candidates, the chances anyone was gonna reach 50% were pretty damn slim. I was happy to see though that the candidate I voted for was in second place and ultimately remained there and got a spot in the run-off election with like 15% of the vote, and the candidate in the lead with 17% of the vote was also a WOC who also happens to be an out lesbian, so that’s pretty awesome. I’ll have to do more thorough research on both of them before the run-off election. So basically I kept that on for the rest of the night and followed it until I decided to get ready for bed, then procrastinated, and now I am here. Amazingly (probably only because I took my meds) I am getting sleepy now, so I’m going to at least attempt to fall asleep, hopefully I’ll have (much) more success than last night, wish me luck. Goodnight dears. Hope you’re having a great week.