#i tried to Shape them at least kind of similarly to how they are as humans but i'm not sure if nagakura came out all that well on that fron

[kenzan-kiwami]

a humble fanart of @deathmothking's Ishin werewolf AU fanfic - i hope you like it! i'm definitely looking forward to the next chapter <3

[hana-no-seiiki]

May I request a yandere bat family with a Venti! Reader who has powers similar including his personality (except the reader doesn't drink alcohol)

I love your writing take care 🍟✨✨✨

B-but Venti’s whole personality is about alcoholism-

I’ll try my best tho so here ya go.

TW/CW: Reader takes the form of Bruce/Damian’s ancestor so they have black hair. But it isn’t their true self so make of it as you will. Soft Yandere. Multiple Invasions of Privacy.

YANDERE! BATFAM x VENTI! READER

You’re an immortal wind spirit. You reached the level of godhood quite a while ago and spent your days roaming the Earth.

Let’s say you were friends with Bruce’s (and therefore Damian’s) ancestor long ago, and after their death you took their shape.

Knowing these two’s genes you were quite the good looking fellow. Almost blending in as their distant relative.

You have no need for food, or other basic necessities. Hell you didn’t even need to go to school as your dominion over the wind allows you to know everything that has been spoken.

But you took it upon yourself to always be there to guide your friend’s progeny, and thus you found yourself in Damian’s school as his classmate.

You seemed pretty lax. Carefree. Maybe even lazy. Damian didn’t really care much about you aside from the fact that you looked a bit similar to his father. Many people had black hair anyways. It’s not like you were super cute and his eyes kept wandering back to you or anything.

But then you aced many of the classes.

He never saw you study. In fact you spent most of the class trying to distract him or conversing with his other classmates.

This caused him to do an investigation about you, where he found out that you don’t even exist.

At least in the eyes of the government and even the files his father kept.

You meet Tim similarly. Let’s say you three of you go to the same college and similar to Damian, you also decided to take care of the other batfamily.

…

You kind of bullied the poor guy.

You clicked pretty quickly and he was swift to start stalking you. But then also found himself with the same trouble of your ‘non-existence’. But unlike Damian who launches a full investigation, Tim has a one track mind.

He results to surveillance.

Dude has no care whatsoever about your privacy. He watches you wherever you go.

You know this, and are kinda bummed that you have to pretend to pee and do other human things. But since you’re immortal and well- know everything- you don’t have a sense of privacy + don’t react like a normal person.

Instead you pay him back by bullying him on his perversions

Like when he jerked off to you changing clothes

Or his secret collage of you which definitely contained photos of you being naked.

People are kind of offput by how Tim is obsessed over you, but are just completely baffled by how you reacted.

Like instead of going to the police or something you breach his privacy back instead and expose him. You don’t even seem perturbed just annoyed too.

In any case all this, including Damian’s investigation leads to you confessing the truth, and telling them that you were there to be a guide and whatnot.

Of course, everyone but Tim are a bit skeptical. But ever since you began helping them in vigilantism and showing just how much you knew and helped them they eased up.

Bruce has a little resentment since you weren’t there when his parents were killed. But gets over it once he found out how you’ve been tirelessly repenting

By stalking them

But I mean at least you tried

The rest I’ll cover more in the other ask that also requested Venti! Reader. Hopefully I’ll get to that soon.

EXTRA: Damian definitely witnessed your exchange with Tim and was jealous that you were giving his predecessor attention.

So he bullied him with you.

[ohdeerfully]

Hii! I really like your work :3

Can you do demon alastor and his goth human girlfriend comfort scenarios? :D

hii! i hope i did some justice, i dont know much about alternative subcultures (,: i tried something new, with some bulleted headcanons and a oneshot afterwards! thank you so much for the request! <3

How to Summon an Overlord

Alastor x Goth!Reader (fluff) TW: mentions of animal death/taxidermy

join my discord!

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Alastor definitely appreciated the goth aesthetic

He lived in Hell, yeah, but a lot of the style there was more punk or grunge. Not that he even knew what these words meant but he could visually tell the difference

Similarly, you adored his red color scheme. You thought it complimented your black extremely well

He wasn’t particular about the music, it wasn’t quite his taste, but he didn’t mind listening as long as it was with you. He could manage to enjoy what you enjoyed

You typically conjured him into your world two or three times a week. You weren’t a busy person, but he was a busy demon

You typically spent a while before seeing him getting into a full goth getup, perfecting your white foundation and sharp eyeliner for what felt like hours 

He would assure you that it wasn’t necessary, but wasn’t overbearing about it. He knew some people just liked to get dressy

He did kind of like knowing that you were so excited to see him and show yourself off to him though

The dates you shared with him were… untraditional, to say the least

He enjoyed taking you out deep into the forest to explore and find bones and such to add to your collection at home. You were brave alone, but before meeting him never dared going as far in as you two did. There was so much you had been missing out on

He would never tell you, but when you weren’t looking he would use some of his powers–which were much weaker in the human realm than in Hell–to quickly catch and kill a small rodent if you were having no luck. He knew you’d probably get upset with him about the morality of it

Even though you’re literally dating a demon

So like. What morality

“I was a hunter in my life,” He had said when you caught him standing over the corpse of a deer. “I know how to… track them. When they’re dying.”

You loved that sinister grin of his. You never knew what was really going on behind it, but you found that and his glowing red eyes so… attractive. Oddly enough

At-home concerts were a must. As stated earlier, he wasn’t a huge fan of your taste in music, but he would never admit it. He did his best to follow in your steps and you swung your arms and sang out to your song of choice

He forced you to dance along with him to some jazz, too, of course. He left you no option for that

Baking was probably the most normal thing you two did together

He didn’t like sweets at all, but he liked shaping the dough into little themed cookies

He also loved helping you dye your hair; so much so that the second your roots started showing signs of your natural hair color he was the first to point it out

He loved being able to sit behind you and run his fingers and work the dye into every strand of hair. He didn’t care if it stained his fingers

Gifts weren’t very common from him, but you could tell that when he did get you something, a lot of thought went into it

Recently he had given you a dainty black chain with the most beautiful, glimmering blood-red ruby dangling off of it

You always asked him about what Hell was like. You asked and asked and asked, so many questions. And he was happy to talk your ear off in return

Part of him wanted to convince you to choose a sinner’s path, to join in him Hell. Honestly, he had a feeling you would if he simply asked. You seemed genuinely devoted to him

But, at the same time, the other part of him did care about you in a way that didn’t want to see you stuck in that place. Even with him

That was something he’d think about later

You were always so upset when it was time to exorcise him back to Hell. Harsh words, but it was just technicality

You clung onto his fingers for longer than you needed to. You knew he’d be back in a few days, but you had begun to feel increasingly lonely in the time between his visits

He would give you an affirming squeeze on the shoulder, and rest his chin against the top of your head for a moment before you performed the ritual

He kept in contact with you through the haunted radio you met him through, of course, a daily meeting that had become routine

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You loved antique shopping. 

Especially when you end up with your own little haunted radio.

Especially when that radio had the smoothest voice, with the most peculiar and out of date accent. It was charming. And, it knew your name.

You sighed as you stroked your fingers down your cat’s back, smiling softly as it arched into your touch. Your legs were crossed in front of you, sporting a comfortable and fuzzy skull-patterned pair of pajamas. Your eyes kept flicking expectantly to that old radio, and you were growing impatient. You hadn’t heard from the demon haunting it all day, and you were growing lonely.

It felt incredibly surreal and peculiar, feeling ghosted by a literal ghost. Or demon. Or monster. Or whatever it was.

You weren’t really a lonely person, preferring to stay inside–enjoying the comfort of your cat and a good song or show as you practiced tattoo flashes on the kit you bought yourself as a birthday present. But you had grown fond of that voice, as strange as it may seem. And you believed he had grown fond of you as well, what with the pet names he had begun referring to you as.

A crackle of that radio made you jump to your feet, which startled your cat. You quickly ducked down to apologize and rub behind his ears before scampering over to the coffee table and crossing your legs as you sat in front of it. You couldn’t help the smile that beamed across your face.

“Little bat,” The voice practically sang. You rested your head on your hands, careful to avoid a fresh piercing you had given yourself earlier in the day. “Sorry, I’ve been quite busy with my duties down here.”

You sighed, a childish grin playing across your face. “I was beginning to think you forgot about me. After all that work I did repairing you.”

“Darling, I would sooner redeem myself in heaven than forget about you.” Your brow quirked at his statement.

“Isn’t heaven like… all sun and happiness and grandeur.”

“You’d be surprised.”

You let the conversation end there. You couldn’t get over that voice of his. Maybe it was the combination of the accent and the filter of the radio over it, but you just knew this demon had to be a handsome one. Though, you had considered the idea of him being some sort of terrifying, eldritch horror. You could probably get behind it, honestly.

You purse your lips in thought, fantasizing about seeing the owner of the voice.

“Why haven’t you told me your name yet?” You asked him. A few seconds passed by.

“How incredibly rude of me!” He announced, and he sounded genuinely upset with himself. “I forgot my manners, I truly never expected this radio to be touched again. I’m Alastor, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Pleasure’s all mine,” You laughed a bit, playing along with the formality. You reached forward and brushed a settlement of dust near the base of the mesh cover. 

“Hey,” You said slowly. You continued after he responded with a hum of curiosity. “I have a bunch’a books on like… summoning demons. And stuff. Do you know if…” You trailed, hoping that he was catching the idea.

He did catch on, and you heard an amused chuckle. 

“I’ve never thought about it,” Alastor admitted. “I’ve been too busy down here to really care about visiting the human world.” Even through the filter of static, you could tell his curiosity was piqued. And you were suddenly very, very excited.

“Stay here,” You jumped up without a second thought and scampered into your room. You had a cabinet full of small antiques and trinkets, from cute bunny figures to reptile skulls. You gingerly opened a lower drawer, careful not to knock anything over, and rummaged through an old storage of books you didn’t often touch.

While you were in your room, you quickly swiped on basic makeup. There was no way you had time to do a full face, you felt that you were risking it already even putting a little bit on. You teased your hair and threw on a simple outfit, layering some jewelry over it. If you were going to summon a whole-ass demon in your house, you wanted to at least look hot. Obviously.

You hurried out back into your living room. You felt a little nervous as you neared the radio, which had gone quiet. Usually, when Alastor was connected, there was a garble of frequency that announced his presence.

You skimmed your fingers across the mesh and, nearly instantly, he was back. You wondered if he felt any physical connection to the thing. You decided to ask him about it later. You gently picked up the radio and traveled into your basement.

It was the perfect ambience for this type of thing. A bit dreary, empty, cold… You really only used the basement for storage, so the air was thick with dust and stagnant oxygen.

“Okay. I got a couple books on different ways I could go about this. I should have all the candles and salt and stuff…” You flipped through the pages, muttering as you set out different books on methods of evocation that seemed interesting around you, your legs crossed comfortably.

He hadn’t said much since you mentioned summoning him to your realm. You began to wonder if this was a good idea. Were you jumping the gun? Was he actually as interested in you as you were in him? Did he want to see you?

You suppose he noticed the long pause in your mumbling, because he finally spoke. 

“Find anything, (Y/N)?” You smiled at his question. You took that as a good enough sign that he was interested.

“I found some… I just hope one of them works.” Alastor simply hummed in response.

You carefully drew a symbol on the concrete floor, hand dripping with white paint. Your arm was pressed against your chest to keep your stack of necklaces from dragging along the ground you kneeled down on. Your eyes flicked back and forth between your work and the book, trying to make it as perfect as possible.

Alastor hummed a little tune as you laid out the necessary candles. A few white ones dotted the formed circle, for “purification and spiritual protection” the book said. You figured it wouldn’t hurt, just in case Alastor did end up being some hideous monster. You crossed your fingers.

“Okay…” You said slowly, standing up to examine your work. You bent over to pick up the book you followed. You also carefully placed Alastor’s radio in the center of the symbol you drew. “Get ready.”

You read over the words a few times before trying out the chant. 

You must’ve done it just right, because as soon as the words began tumbling from your mouth, a wind manifested and twirled around the circle you had created. Amazingly, the candles remained lit.

The lace on your clothes billowed in the wind, and your hair blew into your eyes. You furrowed your brows in an attempt to stay focused and kept your eyes on the paragraph. You could see that radio slightly glowing out of your peripheral.

A flash of light concluded the chant, and your eyes squeezed shut at the unexpected shine. You had thrown your arm over your head, and carefully began to peek under your elbow as the wind settled.

The candles, save for the white ones, had all gone out and the room smelled heavily of the smoke that curled from the extinguished wicks. And, in the center of the circle, the radio was gone.

And a demon sat in its place.

He was sitting, arms catching himself on the ground and a puzzled look on his face. The transition between realms obviously wasn’t the smoothest ride, but he quickly gained composure and stood up, brushing off his clothes.

The first thing you noticed was how tall he was. How he loomed over you, even from a couple feet away. The next was those piercing, dangerous red eyes of his as he made eye contact with you. And then his lips curled up in a wide, yellow grin.

“A pleasure to finally meet you in person, little bat, quite a pleasure,” He said with a dramatic bow. You were too stunned to speak, simply looking up at him with your mouth agape.

You realized that radio filter over his voice wasn’t exclusive to the radio itself, because his voice cracked with it as he spoke to you. You swallowed your intimidation and stepped towards him. He wasn’t a disgusting tentacle monster, which was awesome. He was actually… incredibly handsome. Lucky you.

“It’s… so good to finally meet you, too,” you said. You reached a hand out towards him. His eyes followed your movement carefully, smile twitching and eyebrows narrowing as he considered your hand.

Your hand was stopped at the edge of the circle he had been summoned in. Some invisible barrier prevented you from getting any closer. You both looked down at your hand, and then back up at each other.

You laughed, breathlessly and nervously. After all that work, you couldn’t even get any closer to him.

“Those candles, (Y/N),” Alastor explained with a teasing grin. You looked down at the white candles that still had their flame. You cursed yourself briefly.

“I was, uh, a little nervous. That’d you’d be, like, you know…”

“A hideous, slimy monster?”

“Yeah.”

Alastor laughed down at you. “My dear…” His voice was suddenly incredibly menacing,  the scratching of his radio-like ambience becoming more aggressive. You felt a cold sweat run down your spine. As fast as the tone changed, though, it was normal again. His voice was light with humor once again. “You have absolutely nothing to worry about!”

You stooped down towards a candle to snuff it, but a quick rap from the demon’s cane halted you. You slowly craned your head up to look at him.

“You wouldn’t want to upset the delicate balance of a seance, my bat,” He said smoothly. “You can fix it next time. I should be going, I wasn’t expecting this… I have some things to do back in Hell.”

Next time, you thought, a tight feeling in your chest. You were incredibly excited at that idea, and it helped you not feel so bad about the short visit from Alastor. You nodded at him before turning around and fishing through the book for a banishment spell.

“I’ll… see you later then,” You said after finding the page. You pressed your hand against the invisible barrier again, to which he followed and pressed his own on the opposite side. You examined those long fingers of his. He smiled down at you. His expression was strange and unreadable.

“Until next time.”

[nyoomerr]

How about half demon SY fic? Maybe with some Cinderella-esque elements?

I can easily imagine Airplane making another half demon (of the non-heavenly variety) as a character foil for Binghe.

The original version was regularly mistreated by his full demon relations, saw them sucking up to the also half-demon emperor (maybe even trying to marry off a bratty full demon half-sister), and in his rage set up some dramatic ‘revenge’ plot that ended in his death.

Of course, with Shen Yuan in the role (and not wanting to die like the OG-version), he somehow bungles the whole thing into a seduction instead.

i'm not sure about cinderella-esque, but here's some half demon sy taking pity on things he really shouldn't be taking pity on, lmao

---

Luo Binghe was not the only half demon in Proud Immortal Demon Way, of course. Between cultivators that wanted to get a little freaky with it (weird) and demon lords who took human women as war prizes (downright terrible), there were plenty of occasions for mixed breeds to be born. 

Luo Binghe was, however, the only successful half demon.

His spiritual pathways developed perfectly suited to balance demonic and spiritual qi without getting the two energies tangled, and none of his demonic traits interfere with his human ones as so many other half demons experience. His demonic teeth sit without discomfort in his human mouth, he has no extra demonic appendages that struggle to reconcile with a human circulatory system, and his claws don’t even bleed when he retracts and extends them in a way that would cause any other half demon to be crippled with pain.

Perhaps it’s a result of his miracle healing blood parasites working overtime to keep his body from sabotaging itself; perhaps it’s simply the protagonist halo at work.

Either way, the less fortunate half demons of Proud Immortal Demon Way had every reason to despise Luo Binghe. Most of them did, or at the very least started off that way - several partly demonic women had of course been won out in the end by charming smiles and the discovery of just what other benefits Luo Binghe received from his successful mixing (read: his monster dick).

Shen Yuan had not transmigrated into a woman, though, and the character he had landed inside of had been one of the less fortunate half demons Luo Binghe ever stumbled across. 

Shen Yuan’s body had tried to grow both human and demonic ears alike, one on top of the other, warping each other and resulting in permanently impaired hearing. His pupils were stuck in the large, open shape of the sorts of demons that live almost entirely in the dark, but his human retina was not similarly adjusted, and Shen Yuan suffered near constant migraines whenever he went out in the sun. His teeth were made of rows of sharp needles, but his diet had not adjusted to allow him to eat as much - or as raw of - meat as his demonic ancestry had prepared him for, to say nothing of the way the sharp points of his teeth always left his mouth bleeding.

It was miserable. 

Even the good parts - the interesting parts, the things like the way his hair looked iridescent in the light or the general increase in energy and durability that Shen Yuan got to experience - did not seem to make up for the downsides of his mixed blood. 

And that was all before taking into the account the way that Shen Yuan was nearly entirely shunned by both demonic and human cultures alike, too.

Ah, it was unfair!! What kind of transmigration experience treated its host so poorly?! What kind of shitty wish fulfillment left the victim so deeply unfortunate?! Shen Yuan wanted a refund, damn it!!

If there was one saving grace to the situation, it was that Shen Yuan was not beholden to the plot in any way. The original host Shen Yuan had taken over had, in the later chapters of PIDW, been one of the prominent figures at the head of an attempted coup. His resentment towards his own life had burned and burned until he’d redirected it at Luo Binghe, a symbol of unfair success that he would never see, and he’d gotten himself barely half a paragraph in PIDW to describe his vengeful death for his troubles.

Shen Yuan refused to be such a small footnote in Luo Binghe’s life. If he was going to suffer by living in this world, then he’d wring every bit of joy he could from the world that causes that suffering. 

Naturally, the only good thing that this world offers is Luo Binghe himself.

“My Lord,” Shen Yuan demures, his tone hushed as he bends to refill Luo Binghe’s goblet. 

He had not been able to win a direct audience with Luo Binghe; outside of Luo Binghe himself, no half-breed is considered of good enough standing to be allowed the emperor’s time in such a way. Instead, Shen Yuan had taken a job as a servant in the Underground Palace, carefully biding his time and working his way towards this very moment, where he’d get to lean in close to refill Luo Binghe’s drink during a meal.

Luo Binghe cuts a sharp glance at him, then at the drink Shen Yuan has poured him, but says nothing.

“My Lord,” Shen Yuan says again, wetting his lips nervously. “The cursed mirror you seek is in the Fire Grass Marshes.”

Luo Binghe hums, his expression unreadable. “And how does a little servant know of such a thing?”

Shen Yuan swallows thickly. ‘I read it in a story about you in another world,’ isn’t exactly the sort of answer that would cut it, here. He can’t just brush it away as rumor, though, either; Shen Yuan needs to prove that he is uniquely useful to Luo Binghe. A usefulness that will both excuse his impudence in approaching Luo Binghe this way, and will allow Shen Yuan to remain close to Luo Binghe in the future.

Shen Yuan will not lose this gamble.

“This lowly one is a half demon like my Lord is,” Shen Yuan says, voice hushed. “My Lord is blessed; the rest of us are -”

Shen Yuan’s words catch in his throat. He’s only been in this body for a little under a decade, but it’s still - the hardships he’s had to endure, and the discrimination, and - Shen Yuan swallows again, trying to steady himself.

“In general, half breeds are not accepted in either culture,” Shen Yuan finally says, voice still low and deferential. “We have had to find livings in places that are not generally hospitable.”

“And you’ve lived in the Fire Grass Marshes as a result, then?” Luo Binghe asks.

Shen Yuan nods. The rest of the dining room has fallen silent by now, watching closely as Luo Binghe considers the daring little servant that has approached him as such. It makes Shen Yuan sweat, just a bit, but then again…

Their attention is not nearly as heavy as the single-minded focus of Luo Binghe himself. 

“The Fire Grass Marshes may not be worth the trouble to retrieve such a small item,” Luo Binghe says after a long silence, turning his gaze away from Shen Yuan at last. “There are other artifacts this Lord can use instead.”

Shen Yuan… maybe panics just a bit. He didn’t make this much of an effort to have Luo Binghe’s attention only to be dismissed outright like this, as if it isn’t worth the bother, ah!!

“Of course, my Lord wouldn’t have to fetch it himself!” Shen Yuan rushes to say. “That is, this lowly one can - if it pleases my Lord, I mean - for you -”

“If you’d offer to fetch it yourself, why didn’t you simply bring it with you now?” Luo Binghe asks blandly. Then, a bit more dangerously, he adds: “Don’t waste this Lord’s time, little servant.”

“If the mirror isn’t good enough, this servant can fetch something else,” Shen Yuan tries. “This lowly one knows much about lands that aren’t usually fit for exploration, so -”

“Why?” Luo Binghe interrupts, turning back to once more fix Shen Yuan with his full attention. “The only reward you will receive is your life, should I decide to spare you for the insolence.”

Shen Yuan swallows thickly, once, twice. He needs to fix this, or else his life - if he manages to keep it - will only end up more miserable than it was before. 

He refuses to go back to that, not now that he’s managed to be so close to Luo Binghe.

“This lowly one only wishes to help spare my Lord of unnecessary suffering -”

Luo Binghe stands suddenly, his chair tipping behind him and the dishes on the table falling and spilling at the sudden jostling movement.

Shen Yuan doesn’t much notice, what with the way Luo Binghe has wrapped a single large hand around his throat and begun to squeeze.

“Do not dare to speak of my suffering,” Luo Binghe snarls, his teeth inches from Shen Yuan’s face. “Do not dare to presume to know what I can and can not tolerate.”

Shen Yuan gasps, scrambling with his stupid, defective claws at the hand around his neck.

“I’m sorry,” he manages to choke out, “I’m sorry, but - but regardless of what you can tolerate, you shouldn’t have to suffer at all, it’s -”

Luo Binghe’s grip tightens, and Shen Yuan falls silent, focusing on trying to breathe. 

He does not break eye contact with Luo Binghe, though.

Because this is the truth of it: Shen Yuan’s mixed breed body sucks ass, and he’s suffered for it, and he’s been humiliated for it, and even the cool, kickass parts of transmigration have been kinda lame for it. He kind of hates it. He more than kind of understands the resentment that the original goods had harbored.

But Shen Yuan has the insight of a PIDW reader, and he knows that despite his perfect biology, Luo Binghe has suffered far more than most half breeds have. 

Shen Yuan and his kin are shunned, but they are not outright beaten or discarded or starved or pushed into the Abyss. They may be given shitty jobs, but they are given jobs; they’ve never had anyone try to sabotage their cultivations or been forced to overturn the demonic hierarchy just to find a safe place to sleep. Most people dislike them, but those that do care for Shen Yuan and other half breeds like him can be trusted; their regard is honest, as it can not be motivated by any sort of desire for power or influence.

Shen Yuan has suffered, but he has also experienced luxuries that Luo Binghe has not. 

He’s suffered, and he’s hated this stupid fucking transmigration, but - 

But in the end, he could have found ways to enjoy it that didn’t involve walking up to the protagonist and offering to help. He could have used his meta knowledge to get rich and powerful enough to explore the world on a cool vacation, instead of trying to use it to bargain for a spot at Luo Binghe’s side.

“Binghe should have someone looking out for him,” Shen Yuan wheezes. Maybe wheezes. Maybe he doesn’t say it at all. His vision is spotty and his brain is a bit foggy and he certainly wouldn’t have dared to say such a thing if he was fully conscious. 

Luo Binghe’s grip slackens all at once, and Shen Yuan crumples to the ground, coughing. 

“You’ll get only one chance,” Luo Binghe warns him. It’s very clearly a threat.

When Shen Yuan manages to look up at him, though, his expression is not as cold and dangerous as it had been a minute ago.

It looks hungry.

[gemini-sensei]

Poly!Demetri Alexopoulos x Chubby!Reader x Cobra!Hawk

CW: toxic relationship, angst, illusions to unprotected sex.

Demetri tried to breath evenly, but it was hard after the labored activity they'd just done. However, with his arms wrapped tightly around Reader's naked body, he knew he'd find the peace soon. Or at least what was close to peace.

She drew small shapes against his chest as she breathed similarly, a far off look in her eye. He knew what she was thinking of, or rather who she was thinking of.

"I miss him," she mumbled sadly.

He kissed her head. "I know you do."

He missed Eli, too.

She buried her face in his neck and sighed. He felt the beginning of small tears against his skin and wished he knew how to make them disappear. It was hard to go on without their third lover, but they kept going no matter what. It wasn't as if their love for each other died without him there, but it hurt more knowing he wasn't so far away. He just wanted nothing to do with them, at least whilst he was with his Cobra friends...

Reader tipped her head back as she moaned softly, that familiar scar dragging along her skin. It made her feel so special, to be one of two people who got to feel what that felt like.

His hands slipped up her shirt and squeezed her bare sides, making her moans nonstop. He smirked and she shuddered. "Hawk..."

The classroom was so quiet, her whisper of his new name was so loud. He chuckled under his breath and pulled away from his neck, looking at her with lustful eyes. She took whatever attention she could get from him, for it came in small doses now. She smiled at him, as pretty as can be, just happy to be in his presence once more.

"Say it again," he told her.

His hand swiftly moved down the front of her pants. He knew her body as well as his own, and wasn't surprised when he felt her wet panties. Only smirked as he quickly found her clit and started rubbing tight circles onto it.

"Hawk!" she yelped, holding onto his shoulders tightly.

"That's my name, baby," he grunted, leaning in to breath hotly down her neck. He whispered in her ear, praising her somewhat sweetly. "Keep saying my name like that."

"I just don't understand," Reader said, holding back the tears.

Demetri rubbed her back soothingly. He didn't understand it very well himself, but there was nothing he could say that'd make it any better. Eli had chosen his alliances, and though they tried to support him to the best of their ability, it wasn't enough. It hurt.

It hurt so much that having sex wasn't as great as it used to be. They gave into those urges, made out with each other and held each other as he thrust into her over and over again. They cried out for each other, came together, continued to have their relationship. But once the high was over, they reached their lows again.

Without him, it wasn't the same.

"I know," Demetri sighed.

Reader, so close to falling asleep, yawned. "If only he saw how there's no line between who he is and who he wants to be... then we could be together again."

As she drifted off to sleep, Demetri thought about how she was right. If only they could make Eli see that there was no "Eli" and "Hawk" then life would be far simpler. But they didn't live in a simple world. They lived in a karate infested valley where they'd have to fight for their love, but Reader wasn't a strong fighter...

She was sweet and kind. He didn't want her to have to fight anyone, but he knew she was struggling. She missed Eli just as much as himself. She was fighting everyday just to accept the fact that they had been tossed aside for karate and coolness. He hated it.

He wanted to say he hated Eli for it, for making Reader feel so down, but he knew better. He'd never hate him, he'd never be able to. Demetri Alexopoulos still loved Eli Moskowitz, no matter what name he went by now and despite him being a total jerk... He loved Eli with his who heart and nothing was going to change that.

He wrestled with the facts of the matter as he stared at the ceiling. But as his eyelids grew heavy, he let it drift away. He had no way of fixing what happened, no way to make it better, and he usually let it go before falling asleep. He held Reader close and kissed her head. She snuggled into him, still asleep, and he was able to join her soon thereafter.

What do you think? I had a whole idea for this, multiple parts, but would anyone want to see that?

[cilil]

Narrative echoes, or: The dynamic of Fëanor and Melkor

(And some notes on The Morgoth)

I promised an analysis for these two and I shall deliver. There will be three parts (the titles will make sense in the end), with the second being the longest. Obligatory disclaimer that this is just somebody on the internet expressing their thoughts and research and all that and there is no need to get upset. Let's go.

Huge thank you to @caitlincalculator and @mirkwood for their support and encouragement so I can finally tackle this.

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝑶𝒏𝒆: 𝑺𝒌𝒚

Fëanor and Melkor. To call them mere enemies may be an understatement, considering how they sealed each other's fates. But there is more to their dynamic than enmity - there are also strong narrative parallels that enhance both of their arcs and the underlying message, painting a fascinating picture of the dangers of pride and the pitfalls of potential.

Let's begin by highlighting some key traits they have in common.

Firstly, and perhaps most notably, Melkor and Fëanor are the greatest of their kind, mightiest of the Ainur and mightiest of the Elves respectively. Both were born/created with incredible potential to accomplish great things. And they have undoubtedly been great; in Fëanor's case more obviously so, with all the marvelous works he created (the Silmarils, the Palantíri, etc). In Melkor's case one may wonder if his deeds can truly count as great accomplishments that would in any way be comparable to either Fëanor or his own peers, given how many of his plans and goals were destructive and a significant amount also ended up as failures or backfired in some way or another.

Yet, while Melkor doesn't have that one masterful work on par with the Silmarils to present, he has single-handedly changed the fate of the universe through his discord, so thoroughly that his influence can never be fully eradicated until the world is remade ("a seed that does not die and cannot be destroyed; and ever and anon it sprouts anew, and will bear dark fruit even unto the latest days"). Him pouring his spiritual essence into Arda has undoubtedly weakened him on a personal level, but also created an ultimate lose-lose situation where defeating him for good necessitates the end of the world. Melkor essentially has his own One Ring and said Ring is the very world that Eru made indestructible via fate itself, even if someone tried (at least until Dagor Dagorath, if one wants to still consider it part of their personal canon). Thus, Melkor has accomplished something terrible but nevertheless great, and both he and Fëanor have closely identified themselves with a piece of creation that they had a hand in making and shaping, to the point that their fates and possibly lives are tied to it.

Even so, they could have used their potential to achieve even greater things or at least more great things. As far as Fëanor is concerned this is made explicit in the text - "The works of wonder for the glory of Arda that he might otherwise have wrought only Manwë might in some measure conceive" - and I would argue that it's very likely that Manwë thought and felt similarly about Melkor who "he knew that in the beginning, in the thought of Ilúvatar, [...] had been even as he". One can only imagine the possibilities if things had been different.

Both Fëanor and Melkor are, or at least at some point were, known for ambitious creative pursuits. They feel the need to and were destined to, putting it in very general terms, make things. Furthermore, they both seem to prefer working alone generally, but ultimately can't create all on their own. Once again, Fëanor shows this more clearly by willingly seeking the company and wisdom of Nerdanel in particular. Melkor on the other hand thinks himself above such partnerships and, if he ever had or at least desired a relationship like this, refused to admit so. Yet even he was made to cooperate with others and, despite his best efforts, finds himself in need of some sort of creative partner who picks up and carries out the project he starts. This role was supposed to be taken by Manwë and later taken over by Mairon.

Tying into this, Fëanor and Melkor also appear to feel drawn to fellow creatives. Nerdanel, Mairon and various other associates of Aulë, Maiarin or Elven, come to mind. One may even say they were drawn to each other, at least Melkor to Fëanor. Perhaps the feeling would have been mutual in another scenario too. Whether they like to admit it or not, the creativity and works of others can rouse their curiosity as much as their own and they may seek to get involved in one way or another, one example being Melkor's attempt to claim partial credit for the making of the Silmarils.

Fëanor and Melkor also share a connection to the element of fire. Aside from the usual connotations of fire - passion, destructive potential, rage, zeal and divinity (within the context of Christianity), energy, fear, heat, beauty - it has a special importance within the context of the legendarium, being connected to the Flame Imperishable with which the ëalar of the Ainur were kindled and a spark of which is within every fëa, granting sentience and free will. For Fëanor it's even in his name: Spirit of Fire. Melkor is, while being jack-of-all-trades among the Ainur, most commonly associated with fire and ice, as well as extreme heat and cold, and many fire spirits serve him.

Another interesting parallel between Fëanor and Melkor is the lack of a mother figure. Once again this is more palpable in Fëanor's case, since he was born to Míriel who then grew weary of living and departed. Being the only Elfling at the time who had lost a parent, Fëanor grew up in unusual circumstances and was deeply affected by it. One can only imagine a young Fëanor seeing other Elflings with their mothers and trying to understand why his was no longer with him.

Melkor on the other hand never had a mother in the first place, as do all the Ainur; they're also not born like Elflings are, but instead created by one single parent. Eru is a sexless and likely also genderless entity, but has chosen to present himself as a father, most likely to make his existence and role a little more comprehensible to his creations. He also acts - if his behavior can be compared to any concept or experience familiar to us - more like a father, a distant one at that. Thus, one may conclude that, even if Melkor had a limited (if any) understanding of what a mother is and no exposure to his peers having another parent, he has certainly lacked at least the abstract concept of motherly qualities in a parent, and that it has affected him at least insofar that he may have turned out differently if the situation had been different.

One last interesting observation I've made while comparing Fëanor and Melkor that I want to highlight here is that they both also have the capacity to master the tools of others in addition to their own creations. In the Silmarils, Fëanor preserved the light of the Two Trees of Valinor which had been created by Yavanna. Melkor learned language in addition to ósanwë - which is the native form of communication for an Ainu - to communicate with incarnates whose minds weren't open and became quite adept at Quenya. This shows not only adaptability and intelligence on both of their parts, but also that their skill and influence isn't limited to one designated craft or realm. They're not afraid to expand their reach and set of skills to accomplish what they seek to accomplish.

To be continued in part two...

[mhevarujta]

I saw for the first time someone claiming that Elain employs 'weaponized incompetence'.

That would entail that Elain is DELIBERATELY trying to not be competent to displace responsibility from herself.

We are talking about the same girl who wanted to ASSUME responsibility of her treatment of Feyre when people were pointing the finger only at Nesta.

The one who took the initiative when the circle was to meat the human queens, offered a meeting place, made the arrangements, even thought of using Graysen's house for the humans to find shelter, and overall always wanted to provide safe spaces to people in different ways.

The one who was kidnapped and yet subverted the 'damsel in distress trope' by grabbing Briar and kicking bloody the hound that was attacking Azriel.

The one who thought she was going crazy and yet started getting better fast from the moment she was given a reasonable explanation for her condition, despite still being unaware of what she was doing.

The one who is a woman of peace and didn't want a knife, yet used it with no hesitation to save her sister and Cassian.

The one who kept trying to not just sit, to help with the gardens, to bake, to learn to offer.

The one who wanted to scry herself and called out Nesta for doing to her exactly what everyone has been doing throughout her life and what this fandom doesn't seem to grasp: Suffocating her and yet judging her for being as she is.

Elain did not CHOOSE to have issues with asserting herself. She is not delighted by it. Her mother tried to raise her to be a pretty doll that she could take advantage of at the marriage market. His father treated her similarly. He was emotionally attached at least, but the way he fussed was not helpful for her to develop her personality. Despite their love for Elain, Nesta and Feyre learned to treat Elain just like their parents did. Even the Night Court has not given her responsibility and have excused her when she didn't want to be excused.

The fandom tried to act as if this is some deficiency rooted in who Elain as a person, but it's something that was forced upon her as if, just because of her kindness, she is fragile and breakable. For people who use (incorrectly) terminology relating to psychology, some fans have no scope or sympathy over how, especially during people's developmental years, personalities are shaped by the way one is being treated.

"ELaiN CouLd HaVe OppOseD ThEM. FeYrE and NEsTa ArE DiFFeReNT".

Nope. Feyre and Nesta are their parents creatures. Feyre supporting the family and making sure they don't starve WAS founded partly on her mother's request. Nesta had become the woman that many initially disliked by being raised on their mother's knee. The problems their upbringing held for each were dealt with throughout their respective arcs with both of them having ALREADY gotten their own novels and they are still not completely free of them despite doing better, because ultimately you can't just completely throw away the way you were raised. Neither of them were like Elain because they weren't treated like Elain was.

I genuinely think there are double standards when it comes to the way Elain's character and her potential are evaluated, and the intentionality that is attributed to what is actually a STRUGGLE for her is a very shallow and short-sighted interpretation of her predicament.

I can't wait for the day her book will make many take a fork and a knife and eat their words.

[blondiest]

23 & 27 for meronia

HI. these are great, thank you <3

(23) What are the defining characteristics of their relationship?

I am going to answer this from a perspective of canonverse post-kira because i the shape of their relationship changes substantially over time, and I think it depends on when they get together, too.

Near's steadfast, quiet devotion to Mello. He has seen Mello at his worst and defended his every move, even those that directly impacted or threatened Near.

Mello's lifelong fixation on Near. His envy and admiration. The way he can't hold onto his resentment forever, no matter how he tries. His need for Near's attention and approval. His need to be needed.

Their history. The fact that their life experiences are so unique and fucked that the other is the only person who will ever understand them.

Near's willingness to forgive time and time again. Near's ability to set boundaries, extract apologies, and reign Mello in when necessary. I think Near is willing to put up with a lot of nonsense, but he isn't a doormat by any means.

In a similar vein: Near's belief that Mello can do better. Mello likes to think himself damned, irredeemable, wretched, monstrous, cursed, etc. Near strongly disagrees. He expects Mello to try to be good. Not perfect. But better. I think he's quite patient with Mello and understanding of his shortcomings and low moments, but he does not act like they're inevitable. It's harder for Mello to stay on his "I'm irreparably damaged and incapable of being good, or even good enough" bullshit when Near sharply and clearly just does not believe that to be true.

(27) How do they say “I love you” non-verbally?

It is my strong belief that Mello has the potential to be deeply caring / nurturing (though I think his care / nurture is often either bossy or a little abrasive). In my mind, this has to do with his need to feel needed; I think in some ways he would prefer to be needed than loved, because it feels more secure. All this to say, I think Mello has the potential for tenderness, even if (at least at first) it's coming from a somewhat dysfunctional place (feeling like he has no value outside of what he can do for Near).

To that point: Mello shows his love for Near by meeting his needs. He knows which foods Near likes best, knows the specific brands, knows that the only raw tomatoes Near likes are the cherry ones, extra-sweet, and he knows the two or three varieties of apples Near eats.

Honestly, early-on, I think he tries to conceal all of this a little. He gets the exact right kinds of apples, peels and cuts them, and when Near makes an offhanded comment about how thoughtful it is, Mello acts like it was total coincidence that he prepared it exactly how Near likes. The next time it happens, Near doesn't make a comment. He just smiles and thanks Mello. Mello still gets embarrassed about it.

If he's not minimizing his little expressions of affection, he swings wildly in the other direction and acts like he deserves an award of some kind for excellence in boyfriending for THEE smallest of gestures.

As for Near, I think he predominantly shows Mello affection by seeking closeness. Once their relationship is established / secure, Near is not only the one to generally seek out physical affection, but usually the one to initiate sex. I think the combination of non-sexual physical affection and clear sexual desire/attraction from Near helps to alleviate Mello's "no one will ever truly want or love me" derangement. Similarly, I think Near indulges Mello's possessiveness to some degree as an expression of love (also because he's into it probably. sorry.); this is, I suppose, verbal at least some of the time, but it's not I love you exactly, so I'm counting it.

ship asks

[quibbs126]

*sigh* screw it, I just want to complain more

So I’ve been trying to draw Menos (he is said favorite character above) yet again today, but it just keeps not working. I don’t really even know what I’m doing wrong, though at the same time I don’t really know how to do it right either

He’s just so difficult for me to draw for some reason. Actually no, I know the reason. It’s because he’s big and buff and has a different body shape to the rest of the main cast, and I don’t really know how to draw that. Also, there’s that godforsaken neck chain of his, that for some reason is impossible for me to draw

It doesn’t look that hard to draw in the game’s concept art, hell he doesn’t look hard to draw, especially considering his clothes are awfully simplistic compared to his companions and other characters

It’s literally just that he’s buff, I swear. But I just can’t draw him!

And this summer, I actually did somehow manage to make a sketch of a character with his body type this summer, and I keep looking at it for reference, but it just ends up looking trash

I don’t know how I did it that first time!

I know you people don’t really see my art of him that often, mostly just Ceres (though in all honesty I have been drawing a lot of her recently), but that’s because I either keep deleting it or I don’t post the never to be finished page that I drew him on, and only my Discord server that’s for Cookie Run and not this gets subjected to it. I have been trying and failing to draw him so much, including today

Speaking of today’s drawings, I actually did manage to make something halfway decent today, that being this

I’ve previously mentioned being at the dentist today, and drawing this while waiting (not entirely sure what I was waiting for, other than the thing to fill my cavities I guess? Since we were finished drilling holes in my teeth. Ah well, not important). I wanted to recreate the style drawing thing I had done above, while also maybe attempting to give them eyes closer to their canon designs

And quite honestly, I think they turned out pretty well! Maybe not the best, and I really don’t know what Ceres is doing with her arms, but it’s still not horrible

Then later today, I was trying to draw Menos similarly. And it crashed and burned (I’ve already erased what I was drawing, so I can’t show you). I’ve also been kind of trying to draw something else on the page, but it just isn’t working

I think I can only draw decently when I’m not at home, like when I’m at the dentist. Because it just isn’t working for some reason. I mean, I guess I won’t have much longer to wait, since I go back to school one week from now, and I always do my best work during lecture. Which isn’t great since I need to pay attention in lecture, but I at least will be able to draw outside of my house, and presumably do better

And yeah, I was able to draw that Dark Cacao and Choco picture yesterday, and it turned out pretty fine. And also, I’m a Cookie Run artist, I should just stop complaining about all this, making it a bigger deal than it is, and just go back to what I can do relatively well

But for one thing, I’m still stuck on this quest to draw Menos good, and I still haven’t gotten there, because I literally don’t know how to achieve it

And second, quite honestly it’s those Cookies’ fault I can’t draw these guys anymore!

I tried to learn how to draw the Cookie Run characters in a style similar to how they’re officially drawn. It took me a while, but I can pull it off I think pretty well, or at least decently (it just depends on how lazy I feel with the designs). But in the process, I have forgotten how to draw human characters properly/other beings with similar proportions. I may be able to draw them and it look semi decent by the end, but I don’t actually know what I’m doing in the sketch layer, and it feels like far more of an ordeal than it should be, and that quite honestly, I don’t have the skill anymore. I’m sure you can see it with how limited the poses of most human-ish characters I’ve drawn recently tend to be. Or at least, I’ve noticed it in drawings that I’ve done but haven’t posted because they weren’t done or I didn’t like them

And I struggle with applying what I’ve learned from Cookie Run to these human designs, because in my mind at least, they aren’t applicable here, because the proportions are all different and they have hands and necks now, and it’s all completely different so how do I apply it? Not to mention the fact that I’m semi-remembering how I used to do it and trying to copy what I used to do, but not knowing how I’m supposed to actually do it, so everything becomes a jumbled mess, and I get something that might look decent out of pure luck. I want an actual stable process for drawing human characters that looks good, but because of Cookie Run, I don’t have that anymore

And I can’t just draw in the Cookie Run style, because that’s basically like a Chibi art style, and that just wouldn’t look proper when it’s entirely different from the actual art of the game. Cookie Run you can get away with since that’s the canon art style and also just what the characters look like, being living gingerbread people. But I can’t do that with Evoland 2, it’s just not true to the game and quite frankly would just look embarrassing

What was I talking about again? Right, being unable to draw Menos. Well, that’s why you have to deal with this right now, because Cookie Run is in some way the reason that I am having this problem. Also, I really like Menos and want to draw him, but I can’t and it’s so endlessly frustrating

Yeah there’s the other characters, but I want to draw him specifically, since he’s the one on my mind most of the time, along with his family and also Velvet. It’s mostly Fina and Kuro who aren’t on my mind that often. But even then, I struggle with drawing the other characters too. Though that might be because I run out of steam by the time I decide to draw them, and so I just don’t want to draw them. I don’t know

I hate that I’m an artist who’s whole purpose is to draw, and yet I cannot draw my favorite character, who frankly isn’t that difficult to draw, all because I currently lack the ability to

[rexscanonwife]

Tell us your headcanons for your s/i :3

Thank you anon!! 🫶🫶🫶 I appreciate having an excuse to talk about it cause ofc I've been doing a lot of thinking about her alien species as a whole as well as how she's adjusted to living on earth as a human! (divider by @/bunnysrph)

So to begin with, I think there's not a lot of culture surrounding her species, or at least if there was it's long gone because in order to preserve themselves they've assimilated with so many OTHER cultures from across the galaxy!

Similarly to sea turtles, when they're hatched (yes from eggs) it's at a specific spot in the far reaches of space all alone where they spend a lot of time fending for themselves before they find the opportunity to go off on their own in search of a true home.

When they find somewhere suitable (sometimes it can take a few tries, depending on their preferences) that's when the assimilation process begins! They start by shape-shifting to fit into the local population, then they learn as much about the local culture as they can before choosing a mate and reproducing.

They're biologically compatible with pretty much any sentient species in the galaxy, hence 😂 like a ditto!

They're actually not born with typical gender markers but they can choose to have them later in life depending on what's needed! Or their preferences based on what they choose to present as. :3

Now on to my s/i specifically, she tried a few other planets before landing on earth, but she didn't find them all that interesting.

When she did, one of the first things she saw was an electronics store, broadcasting a news report on an unidentified female body: a Jane Doe. Leading her to take on the name, initially believing that it was the title for any human female.

Despite what you'd think, she's actually not completely clueless about earth culture, having lived on the planet for about a good 20 years before meeting Utonium and the girls. She's gotten pretty good at appearing normal (masking metaphor lol) but there's just something about her that some may see as a little....well, unusual!

She's fascinated with things that most people don't normally think about, the strange, the macabre, and she's usually looking for a reason to talk about either which leads people to be a little offput bg her, but she's definitely very kind and compassionate. Sometimes even overly so!

Honestly kind of lives in her own little bubble of experiences but is open to new ones and is always trying to expand it!

Has definitely dated before but never really connected with anyone on the same level as Utonium when they meet 🥺🫶

And that's all for now!! Thank you so much again for your ask!

[lunaremy]

Bomberfam + Pretty's Death

HEADS UP! This is a really long post.

Back when the house they live in now wasn't built, so they resided in the study area of their creators. White used to be REALLY short, by the way. Black got taller than him and wouldn't stop bragging about it, which is yet another thing they bickered over. Pink was the youngest and looked the most different; her original belt compartment was in the shape of a shooting star, and she utilized the default antennae.

Pretty's kind of a recreational hero - even when White was immature and naive, he still found himself dealing with everyone's antics, including the most experienced hero amongst the group (Pretty). Black rarely spoke to her, and she got along with Pink the best. In fact, she used to outright pamper Pink, and looked forward to seeing her grow up into her own person. Pretty took Pink on all sorts of adventures, most notably taking her to Planet Lalaland for her second birthday. Pretty was essentially the influence for a lot of her habits and hobbies as of R1.

It was a little before this time that Pink made Pretty the locket she refuses to let go of.

Also, it was a couple weeks or so after Pink's chronological 2nd birthday (as she was built to be roughly 7 or 8, mixing up the structure of her two older siblings being 14-15 when they were made) when the accident took place.

PICTURED - shortly after Pretty was scrapped

Pretty was scrapped due to a mishap involving a mission with White and Black on duty as well - it was partially White's shortcomings that indirectly resulted in Pretty's death. He remembers panicking for a second, seeing Black get injured by debris, and hearing Pretty shout something in fear before just...disappearing. I think that indirect sort of situation has to do with why Pretty's death hit him so hard, along with the fact that up until then they'd basically been moving as if they were invincible and it's only now that it's setting in that the things he fights can kill him (or someone he cares about). White's creators found it intriguing how he reacted the way a human would if they had seen their sibling die in combat, basically confirming that their desire to create a more "human" bomberman than Prototype had succeeded but also bringing up the suggestion that it's deeply unethical to keep a living thing in such a state of misery and grief for the sake of their experiments. Due to this moral dilemma, White got a lot of support and comfort from his creators, and he'd later come to recognize them as his "Parents". This also formed the building blocks for his idealistic view of the family.

Same with Black, but he wasn't emotionally hurt so much as he was physically hurt. He'd only heard about Pretty being missing after waking up back at base, and even then, he was just kinda....numb to it. To be honest, he might've been a little too good at hiding his feelings back then. That grief ended up mutating into his overly pretentious attitude and strange way of viewing others and himself. His way of life is overly unhealthy and it honestly might be traced back to the accident as well. I don't think he ever actually let himself think about it.

Pink reacted similarly to White, and at a similar time (as she was not on the mission where Pretty was scrapped, she received the news via White and her creators upon their return home). Although, her age influenced how she reacted, along with her admiration of Pretty. She spent a fair amount of time looking for Pretty at home before recalling that she's been scrapped and isn't coming back. She lost interest in a lot of the hobbies she'd had before Pretty's death, and spent a lot of time nearby White (who still tried to support her despite having a lot on his plate to say the least). As they all grew up, White's newfound desire for justice throughout the universe eventually spread to her in it's own way, and by R1, Pink is oft motivated to help the people around her, even if she has her own quirky way of doing so. The love of crafting she had before Pretty's death eventually manifested in Aqua's love of sewing, which is a fact that she's deeply joyful of.

After Pretty returns, she looks significantly different, with her headpiece missing and her belt compartment being significantly damaged. After a while spent recovering from such an abhorrent physical state, she ended up keeping the belt and lack of a headpiece, deciding that it suited Pink better than it suited her. She's hardly changed compared to herself before the accident, but she's really sorry inside for putting her family through such grief. Hearing about just how strongly White had sobbed after coming home, or how badly Pink had been hurt by her disappearance...it gave her nightmares after she reunited with them. This dies down after a couple of months, though. Pretty has a REALLY fun time connecting with her younger siblings! She's gotten along with Aqua really well thanks to Pink, but she has yet to witness one of her earth-shattering rage fits, so she'll be in for a surprise should something push Aqua over the edge in her presence. She's also a fan of telling her younger siblings stories from the missions that happened before they were born. More specifically, she's fond of telling them about times where White or Black messed up in really embarrassing ways, much to their terror.

[science-lings]

LU Cooking Headcanons: A Ranked Study

Wild: 15/10 The best cook is obviously Wild. But he’s not just an amazing cook, he’s also a very creative cook who’s also great at decorating. His baked creations are always beautiful and he takes a surprising amount of care to get them that way. I mean seriously, he takes the care to make fish pies actually shaped like fish and garnishes everything he makes. He puts little horns on the monster cake and individually wraps honey candy! I also think he experiments a lot and would totally invent ice cream while playing with ice magic infused items. He’s not just an amazing cook, he’s super fucking extra about it. He can also make 11 different kinds of elixirs and somehow make rocks/ wood edible. But who knows if its edible to anyone apart from himself. My guess is that Hyrule is the only one that is physically able to eat Wild’s famous rock-hard food. However Hyrule lives off of moss and questionable meat so he has to have a digestive system of steel. 

Twilight: 8/10, Knows a few recipes and is really good at making them. But he needs a kitchen and struggles with making things with limited ingredients and equipment.  He’s really good at dishes including goat cheese and somehow manages to make that garbage taste good. He cannot bake. At all. He mixes baking powder and baking soda up constantly and no matter how much he tries, he can’t make frosting the correct consistency. it always ends up lumpy and he has cried over it. At least he knows how to fry things and make any vegetable wildly unhealthy. 

Time: 7/10, Can follow a recipe but he has to keep looking at it because he keeps forgetting the exact measurements. There are certain ‘fun’ recipes that he learned how to make from when he was with the Kokiri, like braided breads and pretzels and dumplings. Everything he bakes gets a childish spin, whether it’s making the batter a fun color or a silly shape. More practical recipes are hard for him and he really struggles with seasoning things right, he always adds too much salt or Goron spice, but he can handle the spice so he pretends that it was on purpose to watch everyone else suffer. 

Hyrule: 2/10, if he didn’t have a supernaturally strong immune system, he would be dead. It’s not really his fault though, he’s used to just eating things raw out of the ground. He picks up mushrooms from the dirt and puts them in his mouth before identifying if its poisonous or will make him trip balls. He tries to watch Wild cook so he might be able to try if he has to but he mixes up all the steps and can’t keep track of how much of each thing to add, so it always ends up as some kind of monstrosity. Wild is the only one that can eat anything that Hyrule makes because his immune system is similarly freakish. The one thing that Hyrule can make is tea and it’s so fucking good that it made his score not zero. Also in fairy form he can help Wild make fairy tonics and that’s pretty cool too. 

Legend: 5/10, he can only bake. He makes rolls in the shapes of bunnies because Ravio showed him how and now he literally can’t stop himself from making them that way now. He’s really good at making things with fruits, from cobblers and pies, to juices and jams. Wild showed him how to make sorbet and changed his life so now he too can make things like that. He can memorize recipes like a pro but he still needs a kitchen. He messes up everything that’s not baking. He burns rice and is too impatient to cook meats so he ends up burning it and still managing to keep it completely dangerously raw in the middle. He is good at folding dumplings though and knows a bunch of different styles. He really wishes he was better at cooking because he wants to replicate different foods from the different places he’s been. He also has a soft spot for island fruits but they’re really hard to get.

Warriors: 4/10, He can only cook very basic things and cannot bake at all. I’m talking real basic like premade noodles with butter and a poached egg on top of plain rice. The only real recipe he knows is a curry that was his favorite growing up that he memorized in a fit of pure passion. He tends to under-spice things but at least his food is not very likely to kill someone. He’s not very confident in his abilities though, he hasn’t had to cook for years after joining the military and stuff. He’s not just bad at baking though, every single time he tries it ends up in flames. literally. Every time it’s a disaster and it’s genuinely terrifying. Why does he need a sword when he can conjure a lava monster out of what was supposed to be cake batter. He’s banned for life from the castle kitchens after trying to make something for Athena’s birthday. He had to pay a lot of money to fix all those ovens...

Sky: 5/10, can technically feed himself, but he tends to make the same thing over and over again until he’s sick of it. He’s very good at chopping things and monotonous parts of cooking like kneading dough and whisking for long periods of time. This makes him an amazing assistant chief, so he is often one of Wild’s favorites to help him. He’s very particular when following instructions and takes his role very seriously. Refuses to use the master sword to chop vegetables, even when Wild didn’t have a knife big enough to cut the pumpkin that Sky wanted to make soup out of so badly. 

Four: 4/10, On their own, the colors are pretty good at cooking but as Four, it’s a disaster. They all think that they’re right and it’s one of the few arguments that is genuinely hard to work though. Red is good at flavor combinations and really likes spicy food, Green is good at remembering methods and has a major sweet tooth, Blue is good at labor intensive steps and cannot stand anything spicier than black pepper, and Vio is good at memorizing steps and exact measurements and tends to micromanage the rest of them. This all causes them to have a lot of trouble making decisions about food and have conflicting information when they’re all combined. 

Wind: 2/10, don’t let him near the cooking pot under any circumstances. He tends to forget that pots and pans can be very hot and has grabbed at scalding metal without a second thought. He can’t really make anything on his own but he wants to be helpful so badly, so he generally gets tasked with cutting things and other tasks that are far away from the fire. He’s a little clumsy and nothing he cuts ends up even but it’s just food and he’s been getting better. Wild is gradually teaching him how to cook, partially because he gets bored after setting up camp and while everyone else is settling down. He may not be good at the start but he’s learning and is pretty determined to be able to make one of his favorite of Wild’s dishes so that when he gets back to grandma and Aryll he’ll be able to impress them with his new skills. 

[tolkien-feels]

Random fun fact: in many versions, most of the Valar are not officially married or at least they had no ceremony. The wedding of Tulkas and Nessa during The Springtime before the lamps were destroyed was the first m wedding.

I think that the Valar do not feel romantic or sexual attraction in the way that humans or even elves do. Their original forms have no body and therefore no sex (like physical sex the noun not the verb).

Their marriages differ in meaning from what might be described as a mutually beneficial working partnership to a more traditional bond of love and companionship to something else entirely

The marriages before Tulkas and Nessa are certainly bondings of some sort but I think calling them marriages is the intentional application of a human or elven lens to relationships. The Valar permit this with gentle confusion because they desire to be comprehensible to The Children, at least in some ways

I also think that not all emotions or forms of attraction are shared between all of the Ainur. And there are phenomena they experience that are similarly foreign to The Children.

That being said the Maiar do usually feel an intense loyalty to their Patron Vala. This isn’t universal but it’s one of the more common emotional experiences.

Of course this is just my interpretation! I think it does draw from canon information but it’s still largely my reading.

-@outofangband

@outofangband Sorry it took me forever to post this, but I wanted to share my own thoughts and my brain didn't feel like letting me

I agree so much with this. Things such as gender, marriage, siblinghood... for me these are things the Valar "translate" into shapes the Children can understand, much like they take elvish-looking physical forms, and much like they describe the Ainulindale in terms of sounding like harps and lutes and other instruments. It's a concession to limited understanding, not an accurate representation of truth.

There seem to be commonalities between spouses, siblings and Valar-Maiar relationships, which makes me headcanon the Ainur are attempting to describe specific bonds when they use these relationships.

This is informed by my utter confusion when allo people try to explain sexual attraction to me. I'm ace and biromantic, so I understand easily enough the difference between platonic and romantic attraction, but when someone tries to explain sexual attraction I'm just like "HOW is finding someone hot different from aesthetic appreciation??? It literally sounds like you're making up feelings that don't exist. It's the shrimp colors of human experience, wtf" and my brain explodes.

That's more or less how I feel this works for the Ainur. The Ainur feel drawn to each other in specific ways, but because the Children don't experience these kinds of attraction, they try to find analogies.

An easy example is Valar-Maiar relationships. I feel like Maiar just naturally experience devotion towards the Valar they serve. They are under no oath to serve, and they couldn't even necessarily word what it is that is inspiring devotion in them, but they feel it. The Valar in return want to guide these Maiar specifically for some reason (bonus! Incorporate rejected canon and have the Valar say their Maiar feel like they're their children!) But elves don't normally look at each other and feel the urge to serve nor the urge to rule (in a non corrupted way, at least), so the Valar go "Hm... They serve us? We are lords and they are our servants?" not because it's the same thing (serving is who Maiar are, not what they do, it's a very different thing from even the best of elvish servants), but because there's no real way of explaining what the experience really is like.

Even things that seem pretty straightforward, like Manwe and Ulmo's friendship, strike me as being just translations. It seems like they feel a great affinity that they don't feel towards the other Valar (who are also what elves would conceptualize as being their friends!), but it's not the affinity of "marriage" or of "brotherhood" so they settle for "close friends" even though that's not really what it is. It's more like... Their role in the Music is neither a matter of complementing one another (marriage) nor of developing the same theme together (siblinghood), but their melodies are in great harmony. But that's just me disliking elvish translation and coming up with my own, which is probably just as inaccurate.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

YOU WRITE FOR THE WALTIN FILES??? YESS 😭😭💕 this request will be platonic bc it's a robot. May I please request a reader loving Billy as a kid and him being their (nonbinary btw) favorite growing up so they go back to the k-9 facility to work and finds him and puts their casset tape in and listens but when bon tries to attack Billy protects reader and in the end reader stays behind Billy to stay safe

I'm sorry for the long request!! Have a nice day and stay healthy!!

BRO I love Billy so much (and from a quiz I took he's one of my kins now hdhghd)

.........

After making sure you got everything you needed for the job, you took a deep breath and headed inside the K-9 facility.

You'd feel less nervous if it wasn't buried in the heart of some spooky forest. But you took comfort in knowing it was still daytime...or else you would've stayed home.

You were tasked with reprogramming the animatronics for Felix's "Relocate Project". The last three employees sent here didn't have much luck, so he assigned you specifically, knowing your proficiency in repairing machines.

It seemed pointless if three people couldn't even fix them. But your boss seemed desperate to revive the project by any means necessary. Plus you'll get paid extra if you were successful in reprogramming at least one animatronic. So you took the offer.

Inside the facility, you recorded yourself looking around for the animatronics, even reminiscing the time you visited Bon's Burgers when it was first opened.

But when you found the gang, they were in even worse shape than before. All four of them. You tested their joint movements, though it seemed as if...they were unwilling to perform for you.

Not to mention there was a certain rotting smell to them that made you wish you brought a gas mask.

Oh well, you'll live.

Besides, you were looking for a certain animatronic:

Billy. He was always your favorite, even though he didn't make too many debuts as a Showstopper. Most kids were afraid of him because he was a black-eyed clown who couldn't express many emotions, but you loved him and visited him as often as you could. He relied on tapes to speak and sing, though you doubted everything he said was just prerecorded nonsense.

He genuinely seemed like a best friend to you.

"Billy..Billy, hm..I wonder where he is?" You muttered to the camera as you continued your search. And with luck, you found a backroom that led to other rooms.

And in one of those rooms lied the clown who made your childhood memorable.

Although the smell coming from him was similarly pungent, you ignored it, just happy that he was still here. You found some old tapes on the desk, seeing one in faded marker that had your name written on it.

A special birthday message for you.

When you tried playing it with the tape recorder, you frowned slightly when all you heard was static. Even Billy himself seemed to have trouble singing, so you stopped the tape and removed it.

But as your foot kicked something on the floor, you looked down to see that it was another tape. Simply labelled Discard.

"What's wrong with this?" You hummed, picking it up and deciding to play it.

At first, Billy began singing his trademark birthday song. But then he suddenly began listening off names, with beeps in between. Some of them sounded eerily familiar..

"J-Jack..Susan..Charles..Rosemary..Sophie.."

He kept repeating the same names over and over, and it was starting to creep you out. So in haste you reached out to stop the recording-

Only for his bloody mechanical hand to grab your wrist. Your eyes widened in shock, and you winced from the pain of his grip. But curiously enough, he used his other hand to stop the tape himself.

Then you saw white pupils appear in his eye sockets, and he looked up at you, before pointing to something on the table.

You glanced over and saw another tape labelled Billy. It was probably the one that allowed him to talk freely, so you quickly swapped the tapes and shakily pressed the button.

"[Y/n]! M-My best buddy!" He giggled as he let you go, the corners of his lips stretching into a bigger smile.

"B-Billy..it's..it's good to see you again." You breathed, confused but overjoyed that he recognized you. "How's-?"

"Why did you come back?"

"....huh?"

"You shouldn't have played that tape." His smile was quick to falter as shook his head, sockets widening. "He's mad now.."

"What? Who's mad-?"

A warped robotic laugh sent chills down your spine, as you heard the door behind you slam shut. With terror seizing your nerves, you could only shakily shine your flashlight, which landed on a fuzzy white chest with a red bowtie-

Before you shined it upwards, revealing a grinning Bon.

Billy was just as horrified, but he remembered this exact scenario.

No...he couldn't let this happen again. Especially not to you!

He sprang up and pulled you behind him, shielding you from the twisted rabbit. "No more, Bon! Please...d-don't hurt them." He pleaded as black tears leaked from his eyes. "They're my only friend.."

Bon stood rigidly, looking surprised that his fellow Showstopper was protecting you.

Then again he wasn't particularly kind to him when someone else did the same thing you did--discovering something you shouldn't have.

You had to be punished, too. He couldn't afford that.

For a moment, he seemed ready to pounce when he heard a noise coming from the outside. He suddenly turned around and threw the door open, leaving at an unusually fast pace for a decrepit animatronic.

But he was gone, thank god.

You shakily sighed with relief, still perplexed by what you had just witnessed. "Th-Thanks, Billy. But..why would Bon wanna hurt me?"

"He likes keeping what happened here a secret." Billy explained as he shut the door, sniffling. "A-All these years..he's tried making us "beautiful", but he only causes us pain."

"That doesn't sound like him at all.." You muttered.

Even back then, you never really trusted Bon. He always gave you the creeps for some reason..especially with how stiff his movements were compared to the others. They seemed so forced, like some caged animal was trying to break out of him.

You wonder if he recognized you, too.

"Ever since the beginning he's been..off. I didn't like it. H-He scares us now.." Fresh black tears dripped down Billy's face as he turned back to you.

"Is..that why he wanted to hurt me? Because of that discarded tape?" You questioned, remembering that two of the names listed were Bon's Burgers employees.

'But I don't know any "Jack", "Rosemary", or "Sophie"..'

The clown could only tremble. "You need to leave before h-he hurts you again..please..go before he comes back!"

"And leave you here to suffocate in this garbage facility? I don't think so." You shook your head. "I'm gonna stay and try to get you guys outta here. I..I don't know how or when but..I can't leave you. Not again."

Billy blinked with surprise. He didn't expect you to stay, especially after that terrifying encounter with Bon. But he wasn't going to let you have the same fate as the technician imprisoned within him.

So he'll try to protect you. Even if the others won't.

[amarguerite]

How much Star Wars do you speak? I'm contemplating a Persuasion fusion where Wentworth ends up in the Imperial Navy, either helming the ship or as the XO/1st mate of a young Admiral Thrawn, and your characterization is so fantastic that I immediately wondered about your thoughts. What are the most essential pieces of the plot/setting for you??

What a fascinating question! Thoughts under the cut.

I don't speak much Star Wars, I just watch The Mandalorian because I think Baby Yoda/ Grogu is cute, but @rain-sleet-snow translated for me. I'm a little hesitant to say Wentworth would do well in the Imperial Navy because while the 19th century British Navy was bad in a lot of ways esp in terms of empire-building (even Churchill-- himself very much engaged with immoral attempts at the construction of and maintenance of the British empire-- is said to have claimed that the traditions of the British Navy were rum, sodomy, and the lash) I'm not sure that someone with so high a sense of honor and so open and feeling a character as Wentworth would thrive in a system where force-choking is a legitimate way of responding to employee complaints and you spend your days blowing up planets.

I think you could do it if, say, you were doing a fic interrogating the evils of empire and you want an uncomfortable but perhaps necessary look into the evils of the British Empire that Wentworth and his fellow naval officers are upholding, but then even, the parallels are a bit... murky, as in the time period itself being in the armed services were seen, at least in part, as a way of stopping a greater evil (Bonaparte's imperial ambitions). I think you could also do it if Wentworth has a dramatic realization a la Finn in The Force Awakens that he's part of a system he doesn't agree with, and then joins the Rebel Alliance or something and thus tries to get Anne (perhaps around because her dad's an imperial officer) to defect with him, or something. Or @rain-sleet-snow told me that Luke's best friend became an imperial officer cadet in order to defect with some nifty new skills and insider knowledge about the enemy, so I could see Wentworth doing that too.

I think the most essential parts to keep when translating Wentworth into an AU are:

He's extremely shaped by the profession he chooses to pursue. A lot of how he sees himself and sees the world is filtered through, or shaped by how he makes a living and he takes pride in being really good at what he does. Most of his friendships and deepest connections with people come from his profession, or are with people who share the same profession and see the world in similar ways or have experienced the world similarly. (So like, Rebel Alliance pilot might fit?)

Self-confidence. He's good at what he does and he knows it.

However, that self-confidence has to be built on an inner moral code, or a sense of honor or justice or some higher ideal that he knows to be right and that he won't deviate from and from which he won't be swayed. He values this about himself, and puts his sense of honor before a lot of other considerations. He was almost going to offer to marry Louisa, even though he realized that he didn't love her and was still in love with Anne, because he had raised expectations. And even though Mary says he "wasn't very gallant" to Anne by saying he wouldn't have known her again, Wentworth still is extremely gallant overall, as defined by the standards of his society, i.e. he offers the ladies assistance in walking, he helps Anne into a gig, he expresses such concern over the comfort of ladies he won't allow them on his ship (even though he totally does, multiple times, as his sister and brother-in-law point out). Which leads me to:

At heart, he is an extremely kind and compassionate person who values people, and whose instinct is to take care of someone if they're hurt. This is the guy who could be kind and consoling and say nice things about Dick Musgrove when Austen-as-narrator says Dick Musgrove was good only for a dick joke, and who risked being court-martialed and losing the career that defined his life in order to console Captain Benwick when Fanny Harville died.

Has to come from a lower socio-economic status than Anne/ in some way have less advantages/ less of a safety net/ less of a clear path towards staying and thriving in the narrow sliver of society in which they both live. In Austen's time that's the gentry class. Whatever you translate it to in an AU ought to have the same sense of a small, very connected society with a highly codified but accepted standard of behavior, where the dividing line between public and the private self can be a little murky and reputation really matters.

Is a self-made man, and so much in the "I am the master of my fate/ I am the captain of my soul" mindset, he can't understand why Anne chooses to end their engagement-- he doesn't get why she would be so dependent on the opinions of other people, or why she would be more cautious because she's more aware of what's at stake if anything goes wrong

Very active-- physically as well as mentally. I can't see an AU where Wentworth's happy doing data entry-- he needs a life that involves some level of risk, or some kind of fighting, that has great rewards but also terrible consequences if it doesn't work out.

Open book. He feels stuff deeply and expresses it. Sometimes that can come out in weird ways because the workings of the human mind aren't always the clearest, but even if he doesn't understand all he's feeling, i.e. he doesn't realize he's still in love with Anne, he isn't shy about coldly but courteously showing on their first meeting that he hasn't forgiven Anne and that he's still angry with her for breaking their engagement. Once he does figure out he's still in love with Anne, however, he wastes no time in coming to see her in Bath, and only hesitates in proposing again because he isn't sure if Anne still likes him/ if she's about to be engaged to Mr. Elliot.

In terms of plot and setting-- I think that's a bit more loosey-goosey. You can change a lot if the characters have the same basic qualities, motivations, and values as their canon counterparts, and their actions spring from who they are as people. I think you still need the idea of a small society where everyone knows each other and it's nearly impossible to escape your ex if she's in the same neighborhood/ quarantine pod/ space ship/ whatever, and you need the sense of Wentworth not understanding why Anne broke up with him, but Anne breaking up with him because someone close to her gave her advice that persuaded her that staying together would injure Wentworth, and breaking up would be to Wentworth's benefit (I don't think Anne would be Anne if she broke up with Wentworth for her own benefit-- she'd be an entirely different character if she did that). I think Wentworth's success has to follow that break-up and there needs to be some ambiguity as to whether or not he would have been as successful if Anne hadn't broken up with him. Louisa's accident is also key, I think, since that's the turning point where Wentworth realizes he's been wrong and that Anne's amazing, and that in his anger and hurt, his unthinking actions have led to the point where he might have to marry someone he doesn't love and who wouldn't be able to keep her head in a crisis. Also, I hate to say it since adapting the letter was the thing that honestly terrified me the most, but you've got to have the letter! You've got to have an ending that reflects how Anne and Wentworth have all this subtext to their conversations and actions that no one else knows about, but they have been painfully aware of at all times-- and I think it's really crucial that Anne's the one to very subtly make subtext text, and for Wentworth to follow her lead and put everything out very plainly and forthrightly.

Hope this helps!! And I'm always happy to chat more since Anne and Wentworth are my OTPs of OTPs, haha.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I know you’ve talked about how all the Cullen pairings are eventually going to implode - glad someone said it - but I was wondering if you wanted to talk a little bit about what you think Meyer INTENDED with the pairings - tropes and whatnot? And what you think would have to change in her narrative to make what was intended what we actually saw on the page? Or — what do you think each cullens’ Perfect Spouse would actually look like?

Anon is referring to this post.

And well, you've certainly given me quite the challenge.

Some Musing Ramblings Before We Begin

Sort of like asking me to make Dramione work, I'm not sure I'm the person to ask this. Anyone who reads my work knows that... well, that's a lie, every story I secretly write is a love story. But it's not Twilight in any way shape or form.

Twilight simply isn't a story I would set out to write. This isn't a good thing or a bad thing, it just is, which means that asking me to make Twilight work the way Meyer intended is probably not your best bet.

But I'll try regardless, it's what we're here for.

Bella/Edward

Meyer intended Bella Swan and Edward Cullen to be the best and brightest of all the pairings in Twilight. They have the love and devotion of Carlisle and Esme, the physicality and sexual attraction of Rosalie and Emmett, and are such a grand love that even depressed Marcus takes note. This is the love story that drives the entire series.

Edward is an improvement upon Carlisle, a Carlisle with even better control, and the most beautiful man you ever did see. He's also a gentleman, a man of his time and from an era where chivalry was alive and men courted women. Bella is one of those disturbingly altruistic people who makes you feel bad about yourself just by being in the same room. She's incredibly selfless, kind, and also quite brave.

Together, despite their ups and downs and the many obstacles in their way, they're disgustingly perfect.

However, that's not what we get. On Edward's end he's... Edward about loving Bella. On Bella's end, she has no idea who Edward even is but she does know he's beautiful and special.

And to get what Meyer actually wanted... Christ, Anon, I'll try.

So, the first problem, if Edward was truly a good person then Twilight would never happen.

Edward would have his first day of Biology, miraculously maintain control, and flee to Alaska as he does in canon. However, he would not return. Edward in canon returns due to his budding obsession as well as his wounded pride, in fleeing Forks he feels he has lost to Bella. When Carlisle later points out that a girl's life is on the line, that Edward is foolishly endangering this girl solely for his ego, Edward refuses to acknowledge this.

A good man would never have returned from Alaska, the Cullens would have moved in short order, and Bella may or may not have died in a parking lot or in Port Angeles.

That said, what if Bella is not, in fact, Edward's singer? Then there's not this constant debate of him eating her or his creepy, budding, obsession with his personal brand of heroin.

Well, the trouble with that is that Edward would then never notice her. Even were Edward not a colossal dismissive dick, required per this ask, Bella is one mortal out of many and someone he shouldn't grow close to. Associating with her just exposes her to unnecessary danger from him and his family. Edward is a guest in our world, nothing more, and a kind Edward might chit chat with her in Biology but even if he had a growing crush he'd keep his distance.

As he tried and failed to do in canon, actually.

Basically, change Edward alone, and it's not enough. The Edward Meyer wanted would never get together with Bella. At least, not without a lot of AU-sauce.

But let's look at Bella for a moment. Bella's character also has to be entirely stripped down. The Bella of the books is extremely depressed and her infatuation with Edward is fueled in part because of this. Edward's obsession with her gives her worth.

Obviously, in this new and improved edition of Twilight, Bella can't use either Edward or Jacob for validation. She has to be able to stand on her own two legs. If she does use either for validation, then the relationship must come to an end, as she and her significant other realize just what it is Bella's doing.

The trouble is, what does this not-depressed Bella have to fall in love with? Yes, Edward's beautiful, and that certainly goes a long way, but in canon he's a dick. Bella even thinks to herself that he's a complete dick (even when he's trying to be charming). Luckily for Edward she later decides that this is cryptic and therefore appealing.

Well, in AU land, Edward might be so damn charming that Bella likes him anyway but we come back to Edward keeping her at a polite distance.

So, what we need is a terrifying villain. Let's call him Angelus (though per Twilight this would probably be James). Angelus is a vampire that will force Edward's hand. For whatever reason, he decides to torment and ruin Bella's life, ending the hunt in either eating her or turning her into his bride. Angelus' existence forces Bella to be in the know and for Edward to have to take extreme action.

The pair become closer, grow through undoubtedly horrific trauma, and through said trauma Bella understands not only the pros of being a vampire but the terrifying cons.

Basically, it'd be this story. Just replace the name "Carlisle" with Edward and "Edward" with James.

Alice/Jasper

Alice and Jasper are supposed to have this ineffable, mystic, connection where they're together because... Alice saw them together. And in a way, that's true, but it's supposed to be a thing of beauty, soulmates if there ever were any, and instead it's this dumpster fire with nothing holding them together.

This one's easier in a way, well, sort of. Alice would have to be a completely different character and we'd have to see a lot more of Jasper.

Alice has a bad habit of treating those around her, even those she loves, as chess pieces. She'll put them in significant danger, court their misery, so long as it gets her the future she wants.

And she's extremely controlling.

Right away in the opening of Midnight Sun we see this and how it affects her and Jasper's relationship. The novel opens with Alice hovering, scanning the future for Japser fucking up, while Jasper just sits there in misery. Due to her obsession on making sure Jasper doesn't eat students, she actually misses Edward's plan to massacre Biology and his many plans to eat Bella Swan.

Even if she wasn't, this isn't good for anyone to live with. Jasper has very little concept of free will, whatever happens to him, whatever he'll do, Alice tells him and the worst possible option is always on the table.

For Jasper/Alice to work either Alice's gift needs to go (and that's... sort of all Alice is) or she has to tell no one any vision ever unless under extreme circumstances.

Which would be devastating for Alice. Rather than this mostly well-adjusted, perky, girl, Alice would be crippled by her gift. The weight of the world, everyone's free will, rests on her shoulders and she has to constantly avoid temptation to simply pick everyone's future for them.

Without the attitude Alice has in canon, I think she'd go mad with such a gift, or else be consumed by the responsibility of it.

Then we get to the mess that is Jasper. Jasper's complicated, and I don't want to get into it here, but his love story would have to be... too large to be put to the side like that. The redemption he'd need is not one that can be shoved into a few paragraphs told to Bella, it's frankly the kind of story that would drive an ordinary story.

So we'd have to see a lot of Jasper and Nouveau Alice. Which, of course, detracts from Bella/Edward which is the main point of the story.

Honestly, I take it back, there's no salvaging this relationship. They would have to be completely different people to the point where they're entirely different characters wearing nametags 'Alice' and 'Jasper'. Alice couldn't have her gift, which informs her entire character, and we'd have to see way too much of Jasper who is ultimately a tertiary character.

Carlisle/Esme

Thoughts on Carlisle/Esme.

Carlisle and Esme is a very 'spiritual' relationship per Meyer. They're... mom-bot and dad-bot. Alright, fine, they're the perfect parents with this deep love for each other and a very parental bond with Edward especially. It's the relationship Edward admires the most in his paired off family.

I don't even know how to fix this one.

Again, they'd have to be such different people. The trouble with Esme and Carlisle is that they share no values and are plagued by massive miscommunication. The Carlisle who is perfect for Esme... No, wait, this Carlisle is perfect for her, but that's because she's in Esme Land.

The Carlisle that would be perfect for a grounded Esme is not the one that exists. She'd want someone who would always put the family first, who would treasure her above all other things, that's not Carlisle.

Carlisle, similarly, would want someone that truly shares his ideals. That's not Esme.

So, we're back to nametag land, because one or both have to completely change for this to work. (Not to mention that Esme's probably not supposed to be Esme).

So, I've got nothing for this.

Rosalie/Emmett

I actually think these two are what Meyer intended. They love each other but are mostly held together by attraction. They're a very physical couple and good for the most part but inherently lesser than Bella/Edward.

Sure, I'd argue that they're the most put together couple in the house, but I think they're meant to have flaws. They work well together, but every other relationship in the Cullens has to be a step up or at least have something more to it.

Something Edward and Bella can be better than.

Conclusion

Dear god. Did I only manage to somewhat address Bella/Edward? Was that it? This was worse than I thought.