#i usually get that feeling but his spotify activity

[bbyobbyo]

Ever since you stopped using his Spotify account in the mornings, you find other ways to mess with your boyfriend.

A short continuation of this fic, but can be read as a standalone.

content: fluff, established relationship, idol!Jihoon, banter, reader and jihoon just have a permanent jam session going on, they’re in love i swear

wc: 857

note: ahhh they’re back!! thank you to everyone who read the first part and gave it love😊 this has been rotting my brain for a while and i originally was playing with this concept for the original but couldn’t pull it together but we’re here now! shoutout to @highvern because it was partly inspired by her fic “Between the Titles” which is such a great read that i highly recommend along with literally everything else she writes!! all the songs featured here are real and from an era of kpop I hold near and dear to my heart so if you recognize any of them, you’re a real one 🥰

Jihoon is not a morning person, never has been. As he sits in the dressing room of the filming studio, he can feel his eyelids getting increasingly heavy. Some of his members are actively sleeping, in fact, and Jihoon knows he’ll be joining them soon if Wonwoo takes any longer in that makeup chair.

Blasting in his ears is his usual Bruno Mars playlist, a sad attempt to try to recover his energy before he knocks out next to Mingyu sleeping on a mat on the floor, but to no avail because his mind slowly slips away until a piercing airhorn noise jolts him awake.

SEVENTEEN TEEN TEEN NEOWANA SAI E

Uhh. This was definitely not his Daily Bruno Mars Mix.

He immediately searches his screen to find out what happened when he finds his answer in the form of a text from you.

[8:18 am] good morning sleepyhead :)

[8:18 am] hope I didnt scare you too bad :)

He scrunches his face up in disbelief, half amused that you managed to catch him off guard with possibly the most annoying wake up song on Seventeen’s discography, and half annoyed at the realization that he must’ve forgotten to cancel your Spotify Jam session from yesterday.

He decides to leave your text on read. After all, he has plenty of time to be petty today. Furiously searching through his library, he queues up a song and before Mingyu can finish singing the first chorus, he smashes the next track button in smug anticipation.

Now Playing: Fxxk U • Gain, Bumkey

And he doesn’t have to wait long before he gets your reply.

[8:20 am] oh i see how it is

Now Playing: This is War • MBLAQ

If Jihoon wasn’t awake before, he definitely is now. Even as he gets called in to do his makeup next, he thinks carefully about his next move.

Now Playing: LOSER • BIGBANG

…

Now Playing: WHO, YOU? • G-DRAGON

An audible scoffs escapes from his lips as he involuntarily tilts his head back in amusement, much to the dismay of his makeup artist who had just started on his foundation. He mutters a shy sorry before resuming his search for a reply. Maybe he needs to take a different approach to this if he hopes to continue having Jam sessions with you in the future.

Now Playing: Whatcha Doin’ Today • 4Minute

As Jihoon eventually discovers, his hopes to change the topic of conversation were in vain as two songs were suddenly queued one after another.

Now Playing: Why Don’t You Know • CHUNG HA, Nucksal

Next in Queue: Mind Your Own Business • Ailee

Jihoon thinks he’s met his match, coming to the realization that he could never out sass the love of his life. But he wasn’t willing to back down so easily either.

Now Playing: I’m so sick • Apink

Next in Queue: Because of you • After School

Your next move nearly sends him to tears.

Now Playing: Excuse Me • AOA

Next in Queue: You Don’t Love Me • Spica

Next in Queue: I ain’t going home tonight • Navi, Geeks

Next in Queue: I Don’t Need a Man • miss A

As he chuckles to himself for what seems like the hundredth time this morning, this newfound form of entertainment suddenly becomes incredibly precious. Although you see each other nearly every day, Jihoon realizes just how much he misses you, talking to you about everything and nothing at all, bantering like you’ve known each other for your entire lives.

Now Playing: Am I too easy? • U-KISS

...

Now Playing: Mystery • Beast

Even though he couldn’t be with you physically, he knew you were enjoying yourself just as much as him on the other side. He could almost picture your smile of satisfaction as you found your next song, knowing that he would appreciate your humor. And appreciate he did, happily tapping away at his screen until his makeup artist puts on his finishing touches and tells him to call the next member.

Now Playing: Gotta Go • CHUNG HA

Next in Queue: I’m Busy • 2NE1

Next in Queue: Plz Don’t Be Sad • HIGHLIGHT

…

Now Playing: Okay Dokey • MINO, ZICO

Little does he know that his members are in the corner snickering at the sight, knowing that only one thing could have their producer smiling like an idiot at his phone the whole morning.

Soon enough, Jihoon and his members get swept up into their schedule involving the filming of various contents for their Youtube Channel, a task that usually takes the entire day if a game is involved. Thankfully, the game allowed for members to go home early, a rare treat considering how competitive his members can get when it comes to shooting content.

After his usual rounds of “good work everyone” to the company staff and his members, he gets ready to see the person who been on his mind (and in his ears) since the morning. Taking out his phone, he queues one last song while exiting the building.

Now Playing: Run to you • SEVENTEEN

[jjkamochoso]

How do you think jjk men would court their crush? Feel free to add anyone you want but I would love to read about Choso.

OMG SO CUTE!!!! Thanks for the request and I hope you like it <3

JJK Men Courting Their Crush

A/n: okay so for this, I chose to depict most situations as their first time doing a certain courting activity with you so they’re a lil nervous and haven’t made their crush on you explicitly clear🫣 I hope that’s alright and makes sense!! And I can do a part 2 of them doing the same courtship things but with a confession, just lmk if that’s something you guys want🫶 please enjoy below!!

JJK men x gn!reader

Warnings: none

Yuji: cooking for you

“So, y/n, what do you think?”

Yuji was standing over you as you took a bite of the dish he made. Nervous energy was radiating off of him. He didn’t have much experience in the romance department but knew that usually the quickest way to someone’s heart is through their stomach. He wanted to treat you to some of his favorite dishes as a way to show you that you mean a great deal to him and hopefully get to know you better over a good meal. He had prepped in the school’s kitchen all day after spending hours trying to decide which entrees you’d like the best. He thought back to the times you all went out to eat in the city and what you ordered, then thought about what recipes he knew that were similar. As he was cooking, he hoped you liked what he made enough to where he could eventually do it for you every night.

As soon as it hit your tongue, you felt the warmth of the lovingly cooked food spread through your body. You could tell he spent lots of time on this for you and you were extremely flattered that he would go out of his way to do something like this for you.

“Yuji, it’s absolutely divine. I haven’t had something this yummy in years.”

Yuji put a hand on the back of his neck, sheepish from your compliments.

“I’m really glad you liked it. I have some more recipes that I’ve been meaning to try out and you would be the perfect taste tester if you’re up for doing this often.”

Your eyes lit up. “That would be amazing! But are you sure you wouldn’t mind cooking for me that much?”

“Of course,” he said earnestly, “it’d be tons of fun. Besides, I really like hanging out with you.”

And I really like being the cause of your adorable smile! he wanted to say, but decided to save those words for another time. Chatting and laughing with you was enough for now—maybe he’d cook up enough confidence one day to tell you how he really feels about you.

Megumi: making you playlists

Megumi couldn’t stop fidgeting as he waited for you to meet up with him before class. You had mentioned that you wanted new songs to listen to so when you asked him for recommendations, he took the collecting of songs very seriously. He was never good with his words so maybe you’d get the hint that he had a crush on you from some of the songs he chose. He heard your steps coming down the hall and it was like he forgot how to stand and breathe like a normal human being. He shoved his hands in his pockets and studied a stray rock lying on the ground to look busy.

“Hey Megumi!” you greeted, making him jump slightly. He mumbled out a “hello” and immediately dug into his backpack, a CD emerging from its inky depths.

“Well, I, uh-I didn’t know if you used Spotify or YouTube or something else but I know you mentioned having a CD player so… yeah. Here.”

He thrusted the CD into your hands without meeting your eyes. The plastic case held a disc that said “Y/n’s Playlist” in sharpie.

“Thank you so much!” you said, inspecting it, “I’ll give this a listen after class. I really do appreciate you taking the time to do this for me.”

“It’s nothing,” replied Megumi, running his fingers through his hair.

“Oh wait, I won’t know the song names or artists when I listen to this. Wanna come over later and help me make a track list?”

Megumi felt his face burn up with a blush. “Y-yeah. That, uh, sounds great.”

He’d definitely have to make you more playlists and keep forgetting to include that pertinent information!

Yuta: complimenting you nonstop

“Y/n! I like your shirt!”

“Y/n! Great fighting form!”

“That joke was hilarious, you’re so funny, y/n!”

These were things you were used to hearing when you were around Yuta. He was always showering you with compliments, not that you were complaining. He had a major crush on you and wanted to start letting you know that he saw, appreciated, and admired you without revealing his full feelings for now. You and your classmates were training on the field and Yuta was your sparring partner.

“Wow, you really pinned me down quick! That was amazing,” Yuta said as you extended a hand to help him up.

“You’re always so sweet, thank you,” you replied. “You were really good, though, too! I’m sure you’ll get me next time. You’re super strong.”

Yuta felt his breath hitch in his throat. He was superb at giving compliments but horrible at receiving them.

“Geez, that, umm… it means a-a lot coming from you because you’re so great. Thank you.”

“Please, I’m not that cool! You’re awesome as well,” you told him.

“Yeah, but not as awesome as you!”

It seemed that you two were stuck in a never ending cycle of compliments. After a few more rounds of back and forth, you agreed that you were both cool and strong and whatever other positives you could think of. Yuta left the field in high spirits, thinking of all the creative ways he could tell you how cute you were the next time he saw you.

Inumaki: giving you flowers

Toge stood, clippers in hand, eyeing the flowers in front of him with an intensity rarely seen from the blonde. He was trying to decide on which flowers to cut to make you a bouquet. Taking flowers for personal purposes would normally be extremely frowned upon but he was the plant caretaker and figured he could get away with snipping a few here and there. He thought back to all of your previous conversations, wracking his brain for any moments you might have mentioned a favorite all those times you walked here together. He remembered you’d said you liked them all so he really couldn’t choose wrong. When he made up his mind and clipped his picks, he smiled under his pulled up collar. He walked over to your dorm, an extra pep in his step.

“Toge! Hi!” you greeted kindly as you opened your door. His collar was now pulled down and you felt your heart swell at seeing his cursed marks curled in a happy expression. You were afraid you were about to get pranked when you saw he had his hands behind his back, but your fears were quelled when he presented you with a small bouquet of flowers.

“These are for me?” you asked, surprised.

He shook his head. “Salmon.”

“You’re the best! Thank you!”

You grabbed him into a hug, careful not to crush the flowers. He’d keep bringing you bouquets until either you got the hint that he liked you as more than a friend or he got the courage to write out his feelings.

Noritoshi: writing you letters

It was hard to make friends at the Kyoto school since your classmates were always so on edge about letting people get close, but you and Noritoshi had somehow bypassed that fear and your acquaintance turned into something deeper over the years. Unfortunately for Noritoshi, his feelings now dove even deeper than that, finding himself in the throes of a crush. Unsure of what to do, he’d tried ignoring the nagging feelings in heart every time you spoke to each other, but it never work. After much introspection and consideration, he determined that it would be wise to see if you felt the same. If you did, great. If you didn’t, he’d be released from the constant “what if’s” running through his mind. As he started putting pen to paper, he felt his confidence falter. Who pours their feelings into a letter instead of speaking face to face? Is that cowardly? He changed gears; this letter wouldn’t be of romantic intent, per se, but just of a way to get to know you better and show you he cares about what you think, how you feel, and whatever else he managed to write before his fingers failed him. When he nervously slipped the sealed paper under your dorm door a few days later, he anxiously awaited to see when you would mention it in your face to face conversation with him—you didn’t.

Imagine his surprise when he was greeted with his own letter hours later! You had expressed your delight in his letter and wanted to keep him as a consistent pen pal for the near future. Noritoshi’s hands grasped your letter, fingers tracing your words. With this new open view of each other’s hearts, your private conversations safe from prying ears, he yearned for the day he could tell you the truth of his heart before it was spilled in ink.

Todo: carrying/lifting things for you

Aoi knew you were more than capable of handling things yourself but he wanted to show you that he’d be your perfect, strong protector so he’d always offer to carry whatever you were holding, no matter how big or small. At school? He’d carry your books. Grocery shopping together? He’d lift all the heavy items in and out of the cart. Need to move your car but you’re too lazy to get up? Consider it done—he just picked it up and moved it. He hoped that by continuing to show up for you like this, you’d see how much he really likes you. Of course, he wouldn’t be afraid of speaking to you about his crush on you, but he would rather go out of his way to impress you first before stating his obvious attraction to you.

“Y/n! Let me get that for you!”

Your dorm room door was propped open and Aoi had shown up, seemingly out of nowhere, when you were struggling to move some furniture around in your room. He lifted the couch with ease and shot you an award winning grin and wink.

“Just tell me where you want it.”

You pointed to a spot near the window and he put the couch down gracefully, barely making a sound.

“Anything else I can help with?” he asked eagerly. He’d rearrange the layout of the entire school if you asked him to—anything to make you happy!

Gojo: buying you gifts

Satoru was not the type to outright tell someone he had a crush on them. You know, the whole “love is the greatest curse of all” thing? He’d much rather ignore those feelings in hopes of them disappearing. So when he found himself fawning over you nonstop, he didn’t know the right way to convey his desire to connect with you on a deeper level. He might’ve been running on empty in regard to romantic skills, but his bank account was severely overflowing. He began to take mental notes on everything you looked at and put back while in Tokyo during your shopping trips and visited those places to buy all of it on his own.

“I got this for you.”

Satoru had several bags by their handles that he gently nudged toward you. Confused, you opened them, greeted by multiple items that you had taken notice of but didn’t have the funds to purchase. You didn’t remember Satoru even being there when you were browsing them in the first place.

“Satoru, how did you-”

“I pay attention more than people think,” he shrugged, glad to have his blindfold covering his eyes so you couldn’t see how they softened when they met yours.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” you said, trying not to cry tears of happiness.

He chuckled. “I know. You deserve nice things, though. If you can’t treat yourself, then allow me to.”

He was glad he turned infinity off to feel your arms wrap around his in a tight hug. Even if the words evaded him at the moment, he’d be sure to keep showing how much he cares for you by giving you things to remember him by.

Geto: taking you to the farmer’s market

“Come, y/n, I have a fun morning planned for us.”

Suguru had texted you and invited you to the local farmer’s market. You, of course, accepted readily, and now that he was here to pick you up, he was starting to feel a little nervous. Your friendship was a wonderful thing but Suguru craved to get to know you better and see if you shared the same romantic affections he was feeling toward you. He figured that going somewhere low key like a farmer’s market would be great to cultivate easy conversations. As you two walked together, admiring the handiwork of the local artists, you shivered from a cold breeze that kicked up. Suguru was quick to remove his outer layer and drape it over your shoulders.

“Oh, Suguru, I don’t want you to get cold.”

“I’m alright, I promise. I’d rather be a little chilly than see you freeze on my behalf. May I buy you a warm drink as well?”

After that, you were nice and toasty and he glad he could help in any way he could. When the market was closed and you two walked back home, you decided to make a visit here an every week occurrence. Suguru was sure that in a few weeks’ time, he’d prove to you that he’d be a great partner.

Nanami: cooking with you

Kento wasn’t sure how to approach the topic of his romantic feelings toward you. He valued straightforward communication, but he couldn’t find it within himself to outright express his desires for romance right now. Instead, he opted to show you he cared by inviting you over to cook a meal together. He had asked you to pick a recipe and went shopping for all the ingredients. Now that you were finally over at his place, he felt his palms getting sweaty as saw you chopping vegetables, looking extremely cute while doing so. You gave him a sweet smile when you noticed him staring and he quickly looked away, a blush apparent on his cheeks. You dropped the veggies into the hot pan and he started cooking them. You two worked well together, never in each other’s ways and able to partake in conversation while keeping the task at hand. When dinner was ready, you were ecstatic that everything tasted delicious.

“Is it alright if I ask you to join me again sometime soon?” Kento asked.

“I would love nothing more,” you replied sweetly, his stomach now teeming with butterflies.

Choso: stargazing with you

Choso had zero experience with any type of romantic love. He was the expert in familial loyalty, a prime example of being a great big brother, but being a boyfriend? Not his forte. However, his desire to woo you outweighed his nerves so that’s what led him to call you and tell you to meet him outside one night. He read online that looking at the stars is a good way to induce romance and he was determined to prove to you that he’d be a worthy partner. You were taken aback when you saw he had set up blankets on the ground and put out picnic baskets of snacks. He had even wrapped you up in another blanket so you didn’t get cold! Once you were settled, you both chatted about anything and everything as you gazed at the wonders of the night sky.

“Choso! A shooting star, quick, make a wish!”

It was quiet for some time.

“What’d you wish for?” he asked, breaking the silence.

“I’m not supposed to say or else it won’t come true,” you teased, nudging his arm. “What about you?”

He was studying the sky before he looked back at you. “I wished to keep having the privilege of sitting here with you as many days as I can.”

You felt yourself go shy at his confession but it certainly wasn’t unwelcome. After that, you had plans in place to meet up again in a few days to do it all over. Choso was hoping that his next wish would also come true—that he’d be confident enough to bring the true feelings of his heart to light.

Toji: inviting you to local music shows

There was nothing better to Toji than a cheap activity, an attractive person by his side, and the promise of alcohol. That’s what led him to extend an invitation to you to join him at a small concert being held by a band you both liked. When you met him outside the run down venue, Toji felt his heart rate pick up as he saw how good you looked. His calm and collected demeanor didn’t change a bit, though, as he lazily threw an arm over your shoulder and walked with you inside.

“This place is super cool, Toji,” you said, taking in your surroundings.

He smirked. “I knew you’d like it. Wanna get something to drink?”

Toji wasn’t known for having tons of money but he liked you enough to pay for the first round of your drinks. As the band finished setting up their equipment and started playing their first song, you had a blast dancing along while he kept stealing glances at you between sips of his drink, relieved that you were having fun. You were able to convince him to dance with you after a few more drinks (not that the drinks affected his decision making—he just couldn’t deny a request from someone as hot as you). As the night wound down and he walked you home, he felt an excitement spark in his heart that he hadn’t known in a long time. He hoped that one day he’d stop being a coward and tell you he really liked you, but for now, he’d be content just holding you in his arms—and definitely keeping an eye out for flyers with information for the next show.

[hwaslayer]

project: make you love me (jyh) | fourteen.

♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.

—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader x park seonghwa

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 3.8k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, seonghwa in the whole flashback scene!!, kissing/making out hehe, late night food run with yeo and yuyu, some overthinking..

"Wait." Yunho whines softly as he gently grabs at your wrist, pulling you back towards him before you could walk into the science building.

"Yunho." You playfully whine. "I literally have 2 seconds to get my ass upstairs to class."

"Well, I don't necessarily have literature with you anymore, so.." Yunho smirks. "Sorry I just want a few more kisses from my girlfriend since I won't see her until tonight."

"You're too much."

"And you're not?" He teases with a chuckle. You tippy toe to give him another kiss on the lips, Yunho chasing your lips as soon as you break the first one. You giggle against his lips, playfully pushing him back on his chest.

"I'll see you later."

"Mhm." He smiles, adjusting the hood over his head. "Have a good day, love."

"You too." You give him one last wave before you walk off to your class. 

During class, you do your best to focus on your professor; taking notes as you try to keep up with the pace of the class. You can't help but daydream in between about your man, how well break treated you and your friends— though, there were a few other things occupying your mind as well.

But as of right now, you already miss Yunho.

You shift your thoughts to how the night could go, how excited you are to see him and spend time with him after a long day of classes and practice. Class ends up finishing rather quickly, especially as the last half took place with the group activity you had to do. You run to your next class, shooting your friends a quick text in the group chat to see who else has a quick break afterwards.

you: friends, who has a break in the next hour or so?

chaery: me!

you: okay, i'll meet you at the cafeteria? gonna quickly eat before my next class.

chaery: you got it bae!

You find yourself daydreaming a bit more during your Healthcare Ethics class, the majority of the class picking back up on the debate that occurred last week. Yunho sends you a quick text to tell you he hopes you're doing okay in class, following up with his usual 'i miss you' and 'can't wait to see my baby' texts. You smile to yourself as you jot down a few interesting words and phrases that come up during the debate, stringing out your notes enough to help you remember the details for your homework later.

Your professor dismisses your class about 10 minutes early, causing you to dash over to the café and take all the extra time you can get to scarf down some food before the last half of the day occurs. You order some soup and fruits to get you by, sitting at the last free corner table in the café. It's not long before Chaery walks in and grabs a small salad bowl to eat, settling in front of you with a heavy sigh.

"God, what a day already."

"Tell me about it." You pout.

"How's class been?"

"Class is class. I just can't wait until the rest of the day is over. Then we can finally grub on some good food and I can see Yunho."

"Aw." She giggles. "No, same. My schedule isn't as packed this time around, but I still feel swamped or whatever."

"Seriously."

"Is Yuyu in class?"

"Mhm. He's pretty swamped, too."

"I bet. Graduation is gonna come in no time." You nod. "By the way, have you told him already?"

"No. I just haven't gotten to it." You shrug. "It just never feels like the right time."

"I know, I get that." Chaery rests her chin on the top of her hand. "But, Seonghwa hasn't bothered you since then, right?"

"Nope."

"Maybe he finally got the fucking hint."

♣︎ FLASHBACK

"Yunho sent you roses even though he was with us all weekend?" Seungmin swings his keys around his finger as he's the first to make it to the door. Your group just arrived back home after the weekend in the snow, Yunho immediately heading to his apartment to unpack and rest after the drive.

"What're you talking about?" You catch up, with Chaery and Soobin trailing shortly behind.

"Those are roses, no?" Seungmin raises a brow, pointing at the rose bouquet sitting at your doorstep.

"Yes, but I don't think this was Yunho." You pick up the bouquet, reading the small card sitting in the middle. 

"Why wouldn't it be Yunho, though? Who else would it be, babe?" Chaery smiles. "What a dream boat, spoiling his girl even—"

"It isn't Yunho." Your expression changes when you read the card, letting out a deep sigh. Seungmin slowly unlocks the door, grabbing your bags and gently setting them inside the house. Soobin follows his lead and takes Chaery's bags from her hands while the two of you continue to inspect the roses.

Y/N, I'm sorry, and I miss you. Please give me a chance to prove it. - Hwa

"What the fuck? Is he actually crazy?" She holds the card up. "Y/N, you need to toss those."

"But, they're roses." You frown a bit.

"Which aren't even your favorite flowers!" Chaery furrows her brows. "You're not seriously thinking about keeping them, are you? Seonghwa sent these to you. If Yunho sees them, he'll be upset. Rightfully so."

"I have to agree." Seungmin shrugs. "It's weird. Something tells me he's only doing it because you two are a thing now."

"Not one genuine bone in that body." Soobin chimes in as he kicks his shoes off to the side before fully stepping into the apartment. "He had all that time to give you flowers and decided now would be the best time? 

"Y/N." Chaery calls your name a little more sternly this time and you let out another sigh before nodding.

"Yes, I hear you, I hear you." You repeat. "You're right."

"I'll walk you to the dump so we can get rid of that for good and keep it out of sight." She links her arm with yours, leading you to the dumpster across the lot. "Why were you thinking about keeping it?" She asks you softly, a look of concern in her eyes.

"Truthfully, I don't even know. I never expected this from him, so it threw me off guard."

"You don't actually think he'd change, do you?" You look at her with a pursed smile.

"No."

"Good, because I agree. You can't change someone like him." She gives your arm a gentle squeeze. "You're happy with Yunho, aren't you? You glow every time you're with him. He is so, so good to you. He's always been."

"I am, that's not even a question. I just, I don't know. I wasn't thinking, that's all." You get to the dump and toss the bouquet over, giving Chaery a small smile.

"Can't forget this little piece of shit." She rips the card and tosses the pieces into the dumpster. "Are you gonna tell Yuyu?"

"I don't know, does it matter? It's not like it's gonna mean anything."

"I don't know, I think you should. It might seem like you're hiding something from him even though you're not."

"Yeah." Is all you say before the two of you climb back up to the apartment and step inside.

♣︎ END

"I saw him earlier, but he just looked at me and walked past." Chaery adds before taking the fork to her mouth. "His hair got kinda longer."

"Yeah, I saw that." You sigh. "I just don't get what he wants. Apparently him and Hyeri are actually a thing."

"I haven't really seen them together on campus, though." Chaery shrugs. "He's probably pulling the same shit, let's be real. All I know is that you and Yunho are the cutest couple I've ever witnessed." You blush.

"Yunho." You softly say his name and shake your head. "Sometimes, I just wonder how I got lucky with him."

"You're so cute." She giggles. "Are you staying there tonight?"

"Yeah, but I told him we were having our dinner."

"Cute. Are your mom and sister still coming to have dinner with you guys this weekend?"

"I think so."

"What class do you have next?"

"Biostatistics, then seminar before practice."

"I guess I'll see you at practice then? I have to study for physio." You nod as you both clean up, gathering your things before heading out of the café.

"Where are the boys right now?"

"Soobin's at the library, and Seungmin is in class. I just don't remember what." 

"Hm." You hum, passing the library and slowly prying yourself from Chaery. "I'll see you later then."

"Have a good class, learn something!" You give her a tiny smile before you head to your classes for the day.

The day ends up feeling a lot longer, busier, than you expect. It's probably due to all the assignments and in-class projects that you've already had to work on, making it feel like an incredibly productive day. At least time flew by, but you wish you could crawl into bed with Yunho and cuddle up to him. You already feel mentally exhausted even though the semester barely started.

When you get to practice, you and your friends take some time to stretch and warm up before Hyunjin starts to teach the beginning parts of the piece you'll be performing at the big spring fair and night market in downtown. After getting the first two 8 counts down and running it a few times, Hyunjin calls for a quick break before running it in groups to solidify the moves. Yeonjun and Jongho plop onto the floor next to you, watching Chaery and a few other people run through the piece slowly. You sip your water, scrolling through your social media while Yeonjun does the same; Jongho being the first to break the silence.

"Dude, isn't this semester kinda crazy already?" You shrug.

"Mm, yeah. It's okay. I just miss break."

"Break was fun. The snow was hella fun." Yeonjun smiles at you. "Yunho's so cool."

"Yeah, isn't he?" You giggle.

"It was fun having him around. He's easy to get along with." Jongho adds. "Can I say it?"

"Say what?"

"I'm glad you broke things off with Seonghwa."

"Same." Yeonjun adds. "Love you though, you know that right?" You laugh.

"Mhm." You purse your lips into a fine line before letting out a breath. "He sent me flowers when we got back from the snow."

"Ew, why?" Jongho furrows his brows.

"I don't really know."

"Does Yunho know about it?"

"No."

"He should." Jongho says. "He should so he could whoop that ass."

"I thought he was dating Hyeri?" Yeonjun questions.

"Dating is a very heavy word when it comes to Seonghwa."

"True."

"Let's finish up!" Hyunjin calls out, letting the music play in the background while people slowly start to make their way back to the center of the floor.

After practice, you and your roommates head home to get freshened up and have dinner together. Seungmin orders some fried chicken and sides that get delivered in the next 20 minutes— all of you sitting at the table, talking about how your new classes have been. It's nice that you've finally been able to have dinner together since everyone seems so busy with the semester already. The boys end up finishing the last few pieces of chicken, along with inhaling the side dishes while you and Chaery clean up in the kitchen. You head to your shared room, packing up a few things while Chaery sits at her desk to continue where she left off with studying. 

"Can you text me when you get there?"

"I'm walking across the lot." You snort.

"Still! Let me know. I have to make sure you arrive safely." You smile and throw your arms around her from behind, giving her a small kiss on the head.

"I will."

"I love you, have fun. Say hi to Yunho and Yeosang for me."

"I will. Don't sleep too late."

"You too!" She blows you one last kiss, making you giggle as you leave the room. 

"Alright, I'm off!" You give Soobin and Seungmin a wave before heading out of the door. The night is cold, crisp; you can still see your breath in the air. You're excited to finally see Yunho since you haven't been able to respond or give him much attention today. You shoot Chaery a text as you head up the steps to his building, finding yourself at his door in the next few seconds. 

"Hello?" You hear Yunho on the other line, along with the echo of his keyboard.

"I'm outside."

"Oh shit, you are?" He asks excitedly. "Okay, I'll be there in a few!" You giggle as you end the call, shifting your weight back and forth as you wait for Yunho to answer the door. And as promised, he does come to the door— a huge smile on his face.

"Hi." You smile as you wave, Yunho swooping you into his arms.

"It's about time." You laugh. "I missed you."

"I know. Our dinner went on for awhile, we were just catching up about school." You step out of your shoes and head into his room. "Did you eat?"

"Yeah, not too long ago." You set your bags aside and help yourself to his crewneck to change into. "What'd you guys eat?"

"Fried chicken. All that good stuff."

"Yum." He sits on his computer chair, watching as you get your things together. "Do you have to study?"

"Yeah, already." You roll your eyes. "We're getting another small quiz next class." You plop onto his bed. "Are you playing with Yeo?"

"Yeah, I was." He scratches his temple. "Err, I will be again soon." You laugh.

"Okay."

"Let me know if I'm too loud, though."

"It won't bother me."

"Still. Just tell me if I'm annoying."

"You won't even be able to hear me, silly." 

"Come sit on my lap." You playfully shake your head as Yunho wiggles his eyebrows and puts his headset back on; already furiously clicking away at his keyboard as soon as they slip on. You finish up a few other smaller assignments before pulling out your Global Environmental Health textbook to start going through the two incredibly lengthy chapters you've covered in class.

Yunho turns over his shoulder, smiling to himself seeing you studying on his bed. He loves the way his crewneck swallows you, the way you awkwardly sit with one leg stretched and the other folded in; diligently taking notes as you go through the textbook. 

"We're taking a break, right? Cool." Is all you hear Yunho say before he's suddenly in front of you with a smirk on his face.

"Hi." You giggle.

"Hey." Yunho leans over to kiss you.

"What're you doing?"

"Just wanted to steal a few kisses." His next kiss continues to deepen, tongue slipping in to dance around with yours. He gently bites on your bottom lip, causing you to release a small moan in response. Yunho doesn't quit, even when Yeosang comes knocking on the door— softly calling out for Yunho.

"Baby, the door." You giggle and mumble against his lips while he continues to repeatedly kiss you.

"Are you guys decent?" Yeosang softly knocks on the door again.

"Yeah!" Yunho bites onto his bottom lip, slowly prying his eyes off of you before shifting his attention to Yeosang peeking into the room. "What's up?"

"I'm kinda craving incredibly bad junk food. You guys wanna come along?"

"Where?"

"McDonalds, probably. Since it's the closest."

"I'm down." Yunho looks at you.

"I could go for an ice cream cone and fries." Yeosang chuckles.

"That's all?" You nod happily.

"I just need to throw on some pants."

"Oh." Yeosang looks down and backs away from the door. "In that case, I'll be in the kitchen." He shuts the door, making Yunho laugh.

"What?" You look at him as you shut your books close and hop off his bed. "I do need to put on some pants."

"I know. Wish you didn't have to." You feel Yunho's hands come up inside of your sweater, giving your hips a squeeze.

"We're just going to get food, silly." He laughs after placing a chaste kiss to your cheek, throwing on a jacket.

"Yeah. Not my fault you drive me crazy, though." You give him a look just as the both of you leave the room to meet Yeosang in the kitchen. 

"Pants are on. Nice." Yeosang grabs his keys. "Lehhhgo!" You trail behind Yeosang, while Yunho walks behind you. He quickly locks the door and catches up to you two, overhearing your conversation about practice and how there's another performance your group is planning to do in a few months. You're currently telling Yeosang how it'll be bigger than the one your group did before the last semester ended, and how Yeonjun and Hyunjin are freaking out about it even though there's 'time.' 

"I don't know. They just don't know if we'll be able to come up with something new and better in time."

"You guys will." Yeosang looks at Yunho just as he unlocks his car door. "Why don't you do a little couple piece with Yunho or something?"

"Oh, yeah!" You slide into the backseat, buckle in and lean over towards the middle console. "Babe, he's got a point."

"Um, no. He doesn't." Yunho laughs. "I definitely don't dance."

"I know it's in you."

"How would you know that?"

"The party." You snort.

"Yeah, and when I taught you some steps, you got them down so easily. 

"Doesn't mean I dance?! Maybe I just got lucky during those times." 

"Oh, please." Yunho laughs. "I think it'd be cute. You guys should think about it. Add a little something in there."

"It would be fun! Maybe we can do our own thing for something down the long run, too." You smirk.

"Getting ahead of yourself." Yunho chuckles as he boops the tip of your nose.

"Fine, I won't force it." You give him a soft smile, leaning onto his shoulder as Yeosang continues to drive to McDonalds. "Just saying it would be fun." You mumble.

"That'll be something for Seonghwa to see." Yeosang snickers. "Sorry, I don't mean to bring him up, but I can't forget the way he was looking at you two during the tree lighting."

"Yeah, well." Yunho shrugs. "I hope he moves on." Seonghwa, you think. You still haven't told Yunho about the roses and how he had texted you a few weeks back. It's not that you didn't want to— you were just scared, and you weren't sure when the right time would be. Granted, you should've told him as soon as it happened, but it genuinely would slip your mind because Seonghwa was such an after-thought. Would it matter if it didn't really mean anything to you? "Babe." Yunho calls you, making you snap out of your thoughts.

"Hm?"

"You sure you just want ice cream and fries?" Yeosang asks just as he lowers his window at the drive-thru.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

"What were you thinking about?" Yunho asks softly as Yeosang begins the order.

"Nothing, just trying to organize my studying plans in my head."

"Mm." Yunho hums before placing a chaste kiss to the side of your head. Yeosang finishes up the order and pulls up to the first window to pay, with Yunho wiring him some money for yours and his half. Yeosang gently hands you your ice cream cone before handing Yunho the huge bag of food. "Want your fries?"

"Yes, please." Your man hands you your small fries. "Hey, so. Aren't you guys prepping for graduation already?"

"Mm, not really. I mean, they've given us key dates to look out for. But, that's it."

"Are you guys excited?"

"Excited to be thrown into the real world? Nah. Not really." Yeosang laughs. "I've started looking at some internships I could do, or keeping an eye out for places I'd wanna apply to as time gets closer."

"Same."

"Are you guys planning to stay in the apartment for awhile?"

"I guess it depends on where we both find ourselves when the time comes. I'd be down to if it allows."

"Yeah, I agree."

"Or else, it's probably back home for a bit." Yeosang shrugs. "Which, I love my family. Don't get me wrong. But, I definitely don't wanna stay there forever." He looks at you quickly through the rear view mirror. "You're gonna be a senior before you know it."

"Yikes." You giggle. "Not looking forward to it. I think I'll have more of my difficult classes piled next year."

"You'll be fine, Y/N."

"You guys have to come visit us?"

"Yeah. We'll probably be at your apartment more than you think." You laugh.

"Chaery will love that."

"I like your friends. They're good people."

"They are. And fun. I don't know where I'd be without them." You dip your fry into your ice cream. Sooner or later, Yeosang pulls back into the apartment lot and parks in a free spot. Yunho opens your door and lets you out first before following behind you. Yeosang invites him to hop onto another game on Valorant, making you giggle to yourself as they playfully bicker about the last round they had played. 

After washing up in the bathroom again, you head back into Yunho's room and you slip out of your sweats; comfortably taking your spot back on his bed in front of your books. As Yunho and Yeosang finish up in the kitchen, you continue where you last left off— trying to get the most of your studying for tonight.

"I'll hop on in a minute." Yunho says before closing the door. "Baby."

"Yeah?" You look up at him as he leans forward for a kiss.

"Studying some more?"

"Gotta keep up, babe." You chuckle as he kisses you again.

"Can I distract you for just another minute or so?" He asks lowly, pressing his lips to your cheek.

"I think I can spare a minute." You giggle, watching as Yunho pushes your books aside and crawls in between your legs. You wrap your arms around his neck, his large hands coming up your sweater. He fiddles with the band of your panties, thumb brushing over your clothed core in between kisses. 

"Yeo is waiting for you." You slightly whine, trying not to get too distracted by Yunho's touch.

"I know, thats why I told him I needed a minute." Yunho laughs before he looks you in the eye. "Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure you were just thinking about studying earlier?"

"Mhm." You caress his cheek with your thumb.

"Okay. I just hope you know you can come to me for anything."

"I know, love."

"Good." He kisses your forehead. "Let me know if you need anything."

"I will." Yunho walks over to his computer chair and taps his lap.

"You're always welcome to take breaks here."

"Shut up." You shake your head and laugh, bringing your books back to you. You contemplate on telling Yunho right then and there, but you're still not sure why it doesn't feel like the right time, or why you're scared. You don't wanna ruin the mood, and you don't want to make him upset.

So, you brush it off for another day. Hoping you're just overthinking the whole situation.

Besides, Seonghwa must have gotten the hint when you never replied, when you never brought up the flowers. You didn't wanna give him the time and attention he was trying to get from you, nor did you wanna give him the wrong idea.

You really just hope it blows over and that Seonghwa finally moves on, leaves you and Yunho alone. He's had all that time to change and now, it was too little, too late. You're happy, and you hope Seonghwa isn't selfish enough to get try and get in between that.

♣︎ taglist: @s-nsanshine @soupbinlily @tyongff-ff @jiminiscricket @g1g1l @staytinyinmybpack @woomyteez @gfksz @bitchwhytho @savluvsmingi @thisisntmyrightera @hyukssunflower @miriamxsworld @tmtxtf @kuromibabe04 @lmnhead @carrietwrites @tournesol155 @persphonesorchid @txt-yaomi @mxnsxngie @h-nji @mundayoonimnida @jalapeno-princess @nakiiko @asjkdk @kunikku @idkwgoh @kyeos4ng @agust-d2 @araknoid @bintificreads @primoppang @betray-the-light @aurorasjoongie @wineyoungie @yunholuvrsblog @jaerisdiction @ignoretheskies @luminouskalopsia @naeviscall @vixensss @choisansplushie @arya9111 @my-lightspirit @dazednconfusion @astro-doll-the-star @faesmingi @idfkeddieishot @startinystay @yungigiggles

[whorety-k]

Hello! If you get the inspiration to do so, would you write something with Roboute Guilliman + Gát from Azahriah. I think the song would fit him.

Also on another note, I love Ebony Coasts💜💜 Looking forward to the next part!

Nothing shows my absolutely awful schedule like Ebony Coasts having finished before I even got to your ask my love

I am SO SORRY

I had never listened to anything in Hungarian before this point so this was actually really pleasant for me. This song got me in a mood to destroy that blueberry though, so please forgive me.

Pairing: Roboute Guilliman (40K) x gn!Reader

Song Inspiration: Gát - Azahriah [Youtube] [Spotify]

[Original Hungarian]

“Ezért nincsen bennem már szimpátia /

Elmegyek én bárhova, ha hívnak / Mert érezni akarom, amit régen /

Mert régen tönkrement valami bent / Valami bent, valaki bennem.”

[English Translation]

“That's why there's no sympathy in me /

I go anywhere if they call me / because I want to feel what I felt before /

Because in the past something broke inside / something inside, something in me.”

Warnings: Angst, Guilliman’s struggle to adapt to a new Imperium, relationship falling apart, heated argument, hurt / no comfort

Word Count: 2.5k (THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE 1000 OOPS)

The office light was dim, drained of warmth. Roboute could barely keep his eyes focused on his papers anymore, with how each stack continued to mesh and meld together in his mind. A request for aid in the Yannsi system. Reports of ork activity along an Imperial supplyway. Another noble house asking for his audience for a vaguely stupid reason in their horse-and-pony show. With a sigh, he pushed the expensive looking envelope off of the table and into the waste bin. 

Guilliman grew tired of it all.

But, in the name of the Imperium, he pushed onwards. Sheet after sheet, datapad after datapad, vox after vox.

He nearly missed the knock that rapped against the frame of the office doorway, timid and gentle. How he hadn’t seen them enter was either a show of focus or a token to his weariness, usually laser-focused senses dulled as day after day of piling issues droned by. Guilliman picks his head up out of his hands, rolling loose circles into his temples with his index and middle fingers. “Come in,” he beckons.

Your quiet footsteps echo in the chamber built to the size of a primarch. The scents of exhaustion and old sweat permeate the air, for even a being handcrafted by the Emperor himself is subject to the soil of exertion. 

Guilliman’s eyes soften substantially from their stress-induced glower as you draw near, but it’s not enough to fully smooth the deep-set furrow in his brow, or the everlasting scowl on his face. “My love, has something happened that needs my attention?” he inquires, leaning forward to get a better look at you. You stand before him in your favorite robe: a simple yet practical garment that he had gifted you for a holiday celebration, ultramarine blue silks embroidered with golden laurels along the neckline. He would give you so much more if you didn’t feel so guilty at receiving his affections, always so concerned with any excess spending given the state of the Imperium. He was too— more than you ever could be— but you were supposed to be his space away from the mess. It frustrated him to no end to be reminded of his family’s failings when he was actively trying to find an escape from it, and especially because he shouldn’t have you. 

You should have been long dead. After the failed Siege of Terra and the end of the Heresy, Guilliman had found you, a noble agent, desperately working far beyond your capacities within the Imperial Palace to keep things running. A tense friendship blossomed into an awkward, complicated relationship with private moments stolen whenever fate would allow. Neither of you were able or willing to put a label to it, given your pre-existing devotion to fixing the weakened state of the Imperium. Your knowledge of the parties both behind and beyond the Imperial walls proved invaluable to helping the Ultramarines hold it together, and Guilliman could not have been more grateful for your help. Roboute planned to express his gratitude and formally request your hand after your return from a diplomatic mission to help secure support from some of the world less affected by the heresy.

He never got the opportunity to do so. On the return voyage to Terra, your ship had been ambushed and knocked loose of its path in the warp. Your anticipated arrival date had come and passed, and no one heard any word from your vessel. Within an instant, any hope of creating a better future with you had been indirectly or directly ripped from him by his traitorous brothers, just as it had been before.

Roboute thought he had all but moved on by the time he was struck down by Fulgrim, thought had finally shaken the silent longing when he finally awoke from his ten millenia stasis into the disaster the Imperium of Man had become. The hellscape he has been thrust into gave him no time to dwell on any of the things he had lost ten-thousand years ago. It did not matter how hollow or angry he felt when everyone galaxy-wide was demanding something of him, and who better than the Avenging Son to fill the role? 

The day the vox came in that a ship with a downright ancient signature had entered Terra’s orbit is one he would never forget. Guilliman was prepared to have it destroyed, certain that the vessel had been overrun with chaos, but the sound of your voice asking for him over the vox channels stopped him. His hearts seized in his chest when you recognized him.

Roboute, is that you?

It’s been years. We just found a way out.

Roboute, can you hear me?

“Roboute.”

His head snaps up from his daze, not noticing how he had begun to nod off, lost in his ruminations. He hadn’t made the mistake of not asking for your hand soon enough a second time. The stern tone of voice alerts him that he’s missed whatever you had said before, and he sits forward again to reengage.. “I’m sorry, love. I am listening,” Roboute says, letting out the breath he had been holding.

You shake your head, gaze falling to the floor for a brief instant before your eyes find his again. “I asked you to come to bed, Roboute. You haven’t left the office for days, and I know you’re tired.” You call attention to his lapse with a gesture of the hand.

Guilliman’s scowl deepens, looking down at the paper before him on his desk. As tempting as that offer was... “I cannot, love. I am sorry.”

“Will there be a day I don’t hear that?” you rebut, stepping closer to his desk. Your head only barely hovers above it as you come near, resting a hand on the varnished wood. “Or shall I keep hoping?”

The primarch scoffs, taken aback at the rhetoric. He didn’t dismiss you that often… did he? His blue eyes burn into yours, expression hardening. “My work is important. It isn’t something I can just stop and abscond from. You know this.”

You fold your arms in response, doubling down. “Are these the conditions in which you can do your best work? Barely able to keep your head up?” 

For once, Guilliman can’t argue. His shoulders are tight, his neck tired and sore from staring down at a desk for longer than a baseline human could even stay awake without death. His eyes stopped burning after a certain point, now nearly numb. He tries to blink the feeling away, only to struggle with opening his eyes again.

It doesn’t go unnoticed under your gaze. “Come to bed, Roboute,” you plead, resting your chin upon his desk. Sapphires of the softest cobalt land on you, and you reach a hand out toward him. Your drowsy voice continues, “I hardly ever see you outside of this dreaded space. I don’t remember the last time we shared a bed together.”

His massive hand dwarfs your own when he takes it, stroking the delicate skin of the back of your hand. “I would like to join you– truly, I would– but I cannot afford to step away from this,” Guilliman asserts, voice gentle yet firm in his decision.

Your expression falls, as it always does. Guilliman expects you to nod your head and concede as you normally did, letting go of your hand to pick up a pencil once more. He finds the starting line of the report and begins to peruse the document. The Lord Governor of the—

“When will it be enough?”

Guilliman tenses up, tearing his gaze away from the words he was reading. Your voice completely blindsides him, and he isn’t even sure if he’s certain he heard what you said. “I’m sorry?” he asks.

“When will you have done enough, Roboute?” you repeat, stepping away from the wooden desk. As your full body comes into view, he can see how your limbs tremble with emotion. “When will you have reached a point that you are truly satisfied with what you’ve done?” Your voice comes as a challenge, crossing your arms over your chest once again. Your knuckles blanch with the force you grip yourself with.

It’s the second time you manage to render Guilliman completely speechless. When is enough, enough? He gawks as he looks you over, eyes jumping between your upset form and the page before him. It’s a question he didn’t allow himself to dwell on, unable to find a satisfactory answer. It has been, is, and always will be his responsibility to convert the raw data of a problem into something with a detailed solution; it was his strongest skill as a leader. He can stop when there are solutions.

You interrupt his train of thought with another siren call, holding eye contact as you tempt him away once more with your sweet voice. “Your standards you hold yourself to are honorable, but even the great Roboute Guilliman, son of the Emperor of Mankind, requires his rest.” 

And by the throne, he does. He well and truly does. Guilliman could use another ten thousand years in stasis if it wouldn’t make his problems any worse. Instead, though, he’s content to finish one more paper and go to bed. Finally, he nods, pushing aside a stack of documents to start tomorrow. It seems that Roboute would be the one conceding today, muttering, “I will join you shortly.”

Unfortunately for him, you aren’t having any of it. “No, you will come now,” you demand, putting your foot down. You continue, stern tone softening, “Please, if not for you, take care of yourself for me.”

The words make Guilliman’s head throb, irritation threatens to flare within him as the words cause an uncomfortable roiling within his chest. He buries his head into his hands with a grunt– it’s all he can do to prevent an annoyed growl of, “everything I do is for you,” from leaving him. Instead, he takes a deep breath and tries to cool his temper. “This final document is just a report from another world. It won’t take me long,” he promises.

“Then it can wait until tomorrow,” you argue, fed up with the barrage of excuses to continue. “I am serious, Roboute. One world’s ‘report’ is not the end-all, be-all of the Imperium. I know that you are under a lot of strain to fix the mess we’re in–”

Guilliman abruptly sits up, chair flying back as he stands to full height. You can barely perceive the flash movement before the clash of the chair hitting the wall makes you jump. “And you could possibly hope to understand?” Guilliman spits, slamming his hands onto the table. The shout of the primarch instinctually drowns you in dread, and you’re unable to stop the reflexive trembling that kicks in as you stare up at him. Guilliman is furious, all of the signs of exhaustion he had exhibited so plainly before replaced with vitriol. He continues, voice laced with venom, “You could hope to understand what it is to be left with the bloated corpse of my father’s legacy, forced to pick up the pieces as nothing but a tool in his stead as everything he fought for has been so thoroughly perverted? When the mere thought of how things were before is now heresy, despite those fanatics worshiping a book written by a traitor?” His breathing labors, desk creaking precariously with the force he’s exerting upon it. At your lack of response, Guilliman scoffs again. “No,” he growls, turning away, “your mind couldn’t begin to fathom the depths of the pressure placed upon me.”

Your eyes burn with tears, cheeks warm and wet. The outburst leaves you completely shaken, clutching at your sides like a cornered animal. The sight alone fills Roboute with remorse, but you don’t give him the chance to apologize. “I was there,” you utter through shaky breaths. Roboute’s mouth clamps shut. “I lived the old Imperium, picked up the pieces of it beside you. Do you think this has been easy for me?” you press, unable to look the primarch in the eye. “I spent five years in the warp, unsure of whether or not I would ever leave it. Would I die there? Would I find a fate worse? What if one of your brothers was to find me?” Each word punches him in his chest, hearts heavy with the weight of instant regret. He can see how you tremble as you relive what you went through, all at the cost of his loud mouth. “I never gave up, even when so many others had, driven to insanity or the depths of depression. I continued to fight when even the Astartes had one-by-one resigned themselves to fate.” Hot tears roll down your cheeks, and you begin to find confidence in your words as your fear turns into rage, jabbing an accusatory finger in Guilliman’s direction. “I survived to find you again, and I have done nothing but stand by your side and help you try to make heads or tails of the absolute fucking mess we’re in. Does that mean nothing?”

Guilliman doesn’t look away from you as you verbally lash into him. Despite his pride, he knows you’re right. You haven’t truly been wrong once this evening, and in his stubbornness, he has only managed to make everything worse for the both of you. “I didn’t mean it like that—”

“Of course you didn’t, because you’ve only been thinking about yourself and what will become of you. Will your torment ever end?” you spit back, cutting him off. He bows his head, lips drawn tight. Tense silence fills the room as your words hang heavy in his mind. You shake your head, letting out a muffled sob. “I will be in the bedroom when you remember yourself, Roboute Guilliman.” 

With that, you turn on your heel and march out of the room, leaving Guilliman alone in the office with his thoughts. He can only stare at the doorway before the rush of the moment leeches out of him, causing him to slump down into his chair. Guilt claws in his chest, up his throat like an angry badger. His head spins as it fills with everything he should have said, should have done, instead of making a damned fool of himself. The rift between the two of you grew evermore.

Guilliman picks up his pencil from the floor, drawing the planetary report in front of him so he can focus again on the only thing he’s actually sure he’s worthy of anymore: fixing logistics.

[katewritesthings]

Love Me Like I Can // Chapter 1

Chapter 1 // Vibe

pairing: Joe Burrow x Singer! Original Female Character

•summary: Inspired by Scandoval and Taylor/Travis. R&B singer Diana Hayes navigates falling in love after a cheating scandal captures the attention of America and a certain Bengal.

•warnings: •warnings: Cursing. Cheating. Sexual Situations. Drinking. Drug use. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

January 21, 2024.

Diana was currently sitting cross-legged in Biz’s room, computer in her lap, sharing a bottle of wine with her sister. Open on the screen was the Spotify app, with Diana’s first album Get Out pulled. Avoiding the writing she was supposed to be doing, the singer was instead focusing on watching her sister unpack her new room. The activity was a welcome distraction from the feelings that usually came with writing.

The past three weeks had been hectic for the sisters to say the least. Diana had finished up all of her press obligations for Band Together and the release of her EP in the first two weeks of January and spent the past week moving her things into her new rental in New York from Boston. They had two and a half weeks before Diana’s schedule would be filled with writing and recording for her upcoming album and tour. She had thought stepping foot into the house she shared with Connor would make her miss him, but in reality, it just made her angry and sad that every memory she had of Boston was tied to him.

“So, what are you doing again?” Biz questioned, passing the bottle and continuing to hang her sweaters. 

“I’m making a public playlist with some of my songs and some songs by other people who have summed my feelings up more eloquently than I could have,” Diana explained, adding the title song to the playlist. Leave (Get Out) applied to her current situation way than she could have ever thought when she recorded it at 14. She moved on to her second album, eyes scanning the titles.

“No, I know what you’re doing. I guess I should have asked why you’re doing this instead of… yknow, writing and preparing for the songwriting session you have coming up. You record at the beginning of March, you’ve got to have material.”

“I think I’m still more hung up on the situation than I want to be and people to know about. Like, I don’t know what combination of emotions I’m experiencing, but I’m stuck,” Diana admitted, twisting her long hair into a top knot and adding two songs, “The High Road” and “Too Little Too Late” from her second album. “Like, can I write about the situation and still be angry? Can I use the songs I wrote about Connor? I definitely don’t want people to think I’m still hung up on him. I’m really just hurt by the betrayal of it all.”

“Well, I think you’re allowed to still be heartbroken about it still, Di. It’s been three months.” Biz had made her way to Diana to hand her the wine and wrap her into a hug. “This is the first downtime you’ve had since then, you’re allowed to be sad and people will be fine with that. We’re going to get drunk tonight and have fun. If you write, you write. No pressure on healing, okay?” 

Diana stared at her sister’s little finger before her own laced around it and she uttered, “Promise.” 

“Now, turn on some music, and let’s go do a shot!”

Biz indicated to follow her, so Diana did as she was told. Half an hour later, the two were sitting on the couch in their living room laptop between them, taking their second shot of tequila. Diana would be lying if she said she didn’t feel the first and the large glass of Sauvignon Blanc she had been sipping from. 

“Have you texted Joe yet?” Biz’s voice chimed, clearly trying to brighten the mood. Unfortunately for Diana, the alcohol intensified the feelings of rejection as her face settled into a deep frown and a lump formed in her throat.

“No.. uhm, his agent never got back to Cathy, so I never got his number…” She cleared her throat and gave a nervous laugh. “Which is totally fine or whatever because I almost even forgot his name.” Biz rolled her eyes, “Right,” she muttered as she took a drink of her own cocktail. She knew her sister spent at least two days googling the handsome quarterback. “Have you reached out on social media?”

“I don’t want to look desperate, Biz! I don’t even know if I’m ready for another relationship. He’s just cute and looked fun, that’s all.” Diana was still nervous about the idea of jumping into something so soon. She and Connor had been together since she was 19 and while he wasn’t her first relationship, she thought at one point he was going to be her last. The idea of starting over at 26 was scary.

“I think we should invite him and some friends to your birthday party,” Biz interrupted her self-doubt spiral to propose the wildest idea Diana had heard yet. 

“Biz, he won’t even give me his number. How would I even do that?,” Diana shifted in her seat uncomfortably. “His friends were probably just making fun of him because he likes my music.” “I wish you would stop fucking doubting yourself, Di. You’re hot as fuck and dude probably too scared to text you. You build everybody up but yourself. I wish you would give yourself half the love and grace you give other people.” Biz’s words must have sparked inspiration because Diana grabbed her laptop and paused the music. Opening a word document she began typing and humming to a beat. 

Lover girl, loving everything but herself.

Pedestals for everyone, but she’s on a shelf.Emotion comatose, you know how that shit goes.

The sisters spent the next forty minutes sending ideas back and forth to each other, opening another bottle of wine, and listening to Diana sing their ideas into the room. They had finished one song and had even been in good enough spirits to finish a song Diana had been working on before her breakup. Giggling with her sister would never get old, Diana was certain. Everything she had been through in the past three months just made her realize how grateful she was that she had her sister. When their dad died, Diana had attempted to shut everyone from her family out of her life and she was just glad Biz was too stubborn to let that happen. 

Just as the thought that Biz’s stubbornness was a positive trait crossed Diana’s mind, she looked up to see her phone in her sister’s hand and hear a “It isn’t what it looks like,” fall out of her mouth.

“Well, then what is it? Because it sure as hell looks like you’re going through my phone,” Diana shrieked, weakly reaching for the iPhone.

“I just texted Cathy to invite some of the Bengals to your party! You’re already going to be meeting Taylor’s boyfriend, might as well make it an AFC reunion,” Biz said excitedly, knowing it was too late for the text to be unsent.

Diana wanted to be angry at her sister, but she couldn’t help but feel the excitement bubbling in her stomach. 

-------------------

February 3, 2024

Diana hadn’t celebrated a birthday since her 20th and she was nervous. Biz and her manager Cathy, had insisted on throwing her a huge birthday party to make up for the ones that she missed celebrating. Connor had always insisted that celebrating birthdays was narcissistic, refusing even to get her a present in the seven years they were together. 

The redhead was currently sitting in the back of a blacked-out Suburban, between Biz and Taylor Swift. In the third row sat Travis and Austin, Taylor’s brother,  quietly chatting about something that Di couldn’t make out. 

“Thank you again for this, Taylor,” Diana sighed, trying to regulate her breathing. “There is no need to thank me! Everyone needs a friend, Diana. Just because you’ve had some pretty shitty ones in the past doesn’t mean we can’t show you what they’re really supposed to be.” Taylor said, placing an arm around her new friend’s shoulder.

“Plus, if my intuition is right, you just might be making more friends tonight,” Taylor smiled as the car came to a stop. Diana was going to ask what she meant before the door was opened and flashes of light began blinding her vision.

Diana was still trying to get her eyesight back to normal when she stepped into the venue that had been rented for the evening. Her sister had done an amazing job, the entire room was decorated as if they had just stepped foot into a forest. She now understood why her sister insisted on her wearing the cream corseted dress that perfectly fit the theme. Diana felt like a fairy.

Looking around the room, Diana was overwhelmed by not only the number of people but who cared enough to actually show up for her. The room was a mix of people she met since the breakup and ones who have known her since before her debut album. She was almost certain she had seen some people she hadn’t even recognized!

Two hours after arriving and making her rounds, Diana found herself sharing a joint with Elijah, one of her childhood friends from Philly. The two hadn’t seen each other in years, but had picked back up like they never missed a step. The pair were in a fit of giggles when Diana noticed a group of rather large men sitting at a high top near the bar.

Diana took a pull from the join, squinting her eyes to try to make out the faces of any of the four men laughing amongst themselves. “Do you know who they are,” she exhaled the question and the smoke together. 

“Not for real, but it looks like they linebackers or some shit,” Elijah cackled, taking the joint from Diana’s hand. 

“Fuck,” she cursed Biz aloud. “That has to be Travis’ friends, right?” 

Diana was weighing the odds that any Chiefs player, other than the one who was dating her friend, would show up to her party less than a week after losing the spot in the upcoming Super Bowl. She didn’t know much about pro athletes, but based off of the way Travis was talking to Biz in the car, the team was taking it pretty hard. 

“Shit, I know him though,” Eli pointed out Travis in the crowd, heading their way with Taylor. When the couple arrived in front of them, Eli offered the joint to Travis and Taylor grabbed hold of Diana’s hand. 

“C’mon, Di! There’s some people I want to introduce you to!” Taylor’s drunken giggles filled Diana’s ears. She wasn’t sure if it was the four Palomas she had pounded since she got here, the pre-roll she just took part in, or the second-hand confidence that comes from being on the arm of The Taylor Swift, but all of her anxiety was replaced with excitement as she was pulled towards the unknown men. 

“Hey fellas!” Taylor greeted the group, “I’m Taylor and I really think you should say Happy Birthday to my friend, Diana!” 

The redhead shot her a confused look, expecting Taylor to have met these men before at least! Deep laughs pulled her out of her thoughts as a chorus of ‘happy birthdays’ filled the air.

The man that Diana didn’t recognize spoke first, “Thanks for inviting us! I’m Tee.” Offering out his hand and pointing out the other men as he said their names. “Ja’Marr, Joe, and T.B.”

“Oh! Hi!” Diana greeted more excitedly than she would if she were sober. “I saw your interview! Thank you so much for giving me a shout-out. Anyone who plays my music on live TV is cool in my book”

Ja’Marr and Tee broke into laughter as Tee elbowed Joe in the ribs and whispered something to the guys.. She wasn’t sure if it was her projecting or if she actually saw Joe blush and look away. Thankfully, before anxiety could take over Diana’s mind, Ja’Marr shouted over the music. 

“Let’s just say you’ve been on the official playlist since the LSU days with me and Joe. Ever since I met him, he been playing that Marvin’s Room cover..” 

Diana’s face burned, embarrassed about the drunken remix she had done on Instagram Live at 18. A fight with her then-boyfriend sparked a bender of prescriptions and alcohol causing her to lose inhibitions and stream from the recording studio. While she was embarrassed about the situation, she was happy her label had let her finally release more mature music after. 

“Oh, my God! I forgot you did that” Taylor giggled, swatting her new friend’s arm. “That was so Bad Ass.”

“I agree,” Joe spoke for the first time. His voice was clearer, more sure of itself than Diana remembered from the interview. And Mic’d Ups she had seen after googling him. 

“Thank you,” Diana accepted, eyes trained on Joe. One of the other men had changed topics in the brief moment their eyes had locked, but she couldn’t be sure which. The intensity of Joe’s gaze caused heat to fill Diana’s cheeks and she turned back to the group just in time to hear Ja’Marr jesting with Taylor.

“As cool as your boy is, I’m glad it’s not him in the Super Bowl. Like I said a few weeks ago, anyone but the Chiefs.”

“Hey, now. Don’t be bitter we went farther than you, Chase.” Travis’ voice startled Diana, who was doing her best to stare anywhere but at Joe. She busied herself by watching the Tight End as he carefully distributed the drinks he was carrying, an Old Fashion for Taylor and a Paloma for Diana and himself. 

After thanking Travis, Diana turned her focus back to the group. The conversation had turned to the topic of the recent football season and even though Diana knew next to nothing about sports, she found the conversation was piquing her interests more than she imagined. “And I’m not sorry, bro. I said what I said and I said anyone but the Chiefs,” Ja’Marr laughed in Travis’ direction. “Oh, so you guys have beef,” Diana questioned, nervous to show she didn’t know much about the profession of the majority of the group. Luckily the men were kind enough to explain their recent rivalry and some of the basics of the game. Well, as much as they could with the amount of alcohol that was being consumed. Before long Taylor had excused herself to say hi to someone she had recognized, Ja’ and Travis and T.B. had broken into their own conversation, moving to the bar itself. 

“So, Ja’Marr and I are wide-receiver, which means that it’s our job to catch the ball when the quarterback, or Joe, throws it,” Tee was attempting to explain to Diana for the third time. Joe was staring, finishing the last of his drink and Ja’Marr shook his head in frustration as Diana nodded her head in a way that showed she clearly had not committed the information to memory. “Man, Tee, just give up. Let’s go get us some drinks,” Ja’Marr pulled T.B. away, leaving just Joe smiling at Diana.

“So, uh, I’m glad you guys came!,” Diana blurted out nervously, instantly cringing that she had just repeated her introduction. “Well, what I mean is, I didn’t get response from the team or see you guys when I first got here.” “Oh, we lost track of time pregaming and were advised to come in through the back since the press saw some of the guests you had,” Joe smiled, simultaneously calming some of the nervousness she felt and sending her stomach into somersaults. “Apparently you’re quite the popular lady. Taylor Swift and Wiz Khalifa at the same party? Talk about Taylor Gang or die.” 

Diana laughed at the last comment. She really was blown away by the amount of people who showed up for her. She hadn’t even spoken to Cam, better known as Wiz, since their collaboration six years ago and he had shown up to support her.

“Yeah, I’m really grateful that all of these people wanted to spend their evening celebrating me,” Diana beamed. She was in a state of intoxicated euphoria that was giving her the courage to act on what she wanted, like asking Joe to leave the crowded room. “Do you want to walk to the balcony?”

A curt nod of agreement was all it took for the pair to drain their drinks, stand up from the table, and make their way to the outer edge of the room. Conversation flowed freely between the two as they walked, discussing their tastes in music, movies, and books.

“You look wonderful tonight, by the way,” Joe changed the subject, eyes scanning the dance floor where his teammates had found their home for the night. 

Diana was sure that her face was going to permanently be the color of her hair just from the presence of the quarterback to the side of her. “Thank you, you don’t look so bad yourself,” she replied.

And he did. He was wearing a pair of faded black jeans that were perfectly tailored to his muscular thighs, a black t-shirt that was clinging to his chest nicely, a brightly colored jacket and his signature gold chains, including the 9. Diana let her eyes linger on his chest longer than she normally would have before Joe’s voice broke her out of the trance.

“So, can I be honest with you?,” Joe asked, glancing down at Diana. Even in the heels she was currently wearing, the man still stood a good 8 inches taller than the woman at his side. 

“Uhm, sure?” Diana answered, unsure of what was about to come. ‘I’ve known the man for less than an hour, what hasn’t he been honest about?’ Diana thought to herself as they made their way down the hall that led to the balcony.

“I was honestly shocked you invited me after Ja’Marr’s interview,” Joe laughed, opening the door, and letting Diana step onto the balcony before following suit. 

“Are you kidding me? I’m shocked that you guys listen to my music!” Diana shoved his shoulder. “Besides, I got pressured into inviting you all since you curved me last month.” 

The redhead took a few more steps before she realized that Joe was no longer beside her. When she glanced backward, she noticed that Joe was wearing a puzzled expression.

“What do you mean I curved you,” Joe asked slowly like he was trying to put pieces of the puzzle together.

“Well, after I saw your interview, I was honestly shocked that you even listened to my music. Then Ja’Marr said to hit you up, so I had my manager ask your team for your number,” Diana explained, body fully turned towards Joe now. “I never heard back and Biz insisted it wasn’t desperate to try again too.” “You’re joking,” Joe let out a humorless laugh and shook. “I thought that was the team making fun of me after Ja’Marr embarrassed me with the interview.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Was what he said not true?” Diana teased, taking a step toward him. “Are you not a fan?”

“No, I’m a huge fan,” Joe flushed, eyes locked with the aquamarine ones in front of him, encouraging Diana to take another step. “Yeah, what was it the Ja’Marr said? ‘Practically obsessed,” Diana’s voice came out breathier than she imagined, taking another step. She was practically chest to chest to chest with Joe, their eye contact never breaking. “To ‘hit you up’” 

That was all Joe needed before grabbing the back of her head and leaning down to capture her lips in a kiss. The action was drunk and messy, fueled by equal parts lust and alcohol. As the kiss deepened all Diana could think about was how she wasn’t close enough to Joe. Grabbing his jacket, she stepped into him again, causing him to slowly take steps backward until his thighs hit a table beside the door, filled with floral arrangements and an ashtray. Joe shifted his weight so that he was partially sitting on the table, partially leaning. Their lips moved together rhythmically until Joe pulled away and trailed kisses down her jawbone, grabbing at the tulle skirt of Diana’s dress while Diana adjusted her legs on either side of Joe’s so that she was straddling his thigh. 

Joe’s mouth worked its way towards Diana’s neck, finding the tender spot behind her ear. A wave of pleasure washed through Diana, a moan leaving her lips and hips bucking against Joe’s thigh. His rough hands ran up and down her body methodically as if he already knew what buttons to push to cause the woman before him to melt, mouth continuing its path down her cherry blossom tattoo.

Diana rocked her hips again, craving the relief the friction had given her, hands tangling in Joe’s waves. “Fuck,” she whispered, barely finding her voice. Joe pulled back, hungry gaze meeting Diana’s eyes before recapturing her swollen lips. Placing his hands firmly on her hips, he helped her find a motion that kept the moans falling from her beautiful mouth. A familiar tension, one that Diana had only felt at her own hands the past three months, was building in her stomach as she took Joe’s bottom lip between her teeth. Her alcohol-raddled brain didn’t care that she was on a balcony riding a professional athlete’s thigh, she was desperate for release and she was determined to get it.

That was until the door beside them slammed open, causing Diana to take a step back from Joe. Biz stepped through the door, calling Diana’s name. “Di! Are you out he-”

Biz cut herself off when her eyes landed on her sister, lips swollen, love bites down her neck, the skirt of her dress still in Joe’s hand. The pair looked like they had been caught with their hands in the cookie jar. “Oh! I, well, I just came to find you because it’s time for cake. We’ve been looking for you.”

Diana cleared her throat, causing Joe to let go of her skirt and stand up straight. “Right, uh, you better get in there. Can’t cut the cake without the birthday girl. I’ll talk to yo later, I guess.” Scratching the back of his head, Joe did his best to look anywhere but at Biz while he exited the balcony.

“What the fuck was that?” Biz asked, incredulously, still staring at her sister. 

“Well, I don’t know what it could have been, but what it turned out to be was a cockblock,” Diana laughed. “What happened to ‘I barely remember his name’ and ‘he was just making fun of me’,” Biz’s face finally broke into a smile. “I don’t know, Biz. I think we were just both drunk. I’m sure he was just looking for someone to hook up with, it’s probably nothing,” Diana shrugged, brushing past her sister. “Now let’s go get cake.”

After cutting the cake, the last hour of the party was a blur to Diana. Cathy, her manager, had grabbed and insisted she say bye to as many of the music producers as possible before making her own exit. Normally, Diana wouldn’t have minded at all, wanting to take any opportunity she had to suck up to the people in charge of her music. But tonight, Diana could not take her mind off Joe and his blue eyes and soft lips. She hadn’t managed to get his phone number after realizing that he never rejected her and she was hoping to see him again.

After saying farewell to the last of the label reps, Cathy advised Diana to finish up her goodbyes as it was almost time for the car to take her home. Diana followed instructions, making sure that when she found Biz and Taylor, they stayed by her side. While waiting for Travis and Austin to show up with the groups’ coats, Diana couldn’t help but continue to glance around the room for messy brown waves.

“They left right after the cake was cut,” Biz spoke knowingly, a smirk on her face. Diana’s heart dropped. She didn’t get to say bye to Joe.

“Who left?” Taylor asked, “The guys from the Bengals. Seems like Diana and the quarterback snuck off to have a little fun,” Biz cackled, “He even gave her a hickey like we’re in seventh grade.”

Before Diana could reply to her sister, Travis and Austin approached the ladies and started distributing coats before the group made their way outside and into the Suburban waiting for them. Determined to not let disappointment ruin her night, Diana decided to add songs that reminded her of tonight to her public playlist while they drove. She added “How to Touch a Girl” before moving on to her last album. Looking over the tracklist, she added “Vibe” and “Like This”,  deciding that they perfectly described the feelings of lust and excitement she was filled with earlier.

Diana couldn’t shake the feeling as she was falling asleep that she wished that she had stopped Joe from leaving the balcony. Maybe then, she would be falling asleep next to him and not squished in between her sister and her new friend.

--------

Taglist: If you'd like to be added, let me know!

@therapycat21

Ahhhh, I am so overwhelmed by the feedback. Thank you so much for liking, reblogging, and replying. I don't know if you all are interested in the spotify playlist Diana would make or media blurbs after the chapter, but I can also do those.

Thank you again!

[xlovingcupcakex]

M!Kylar x F!Reader - Gaming (Part 1)

You and Kylar meet through League. Two dorks in love. Fluff. I could make it into GN!Reader but I need the reader to be female for the next part, so yeah. There's not much League things, it's more like a plot device. So anyone can read it, even if you don't play league I made it pretty vague on purpose. As always, love y'all!

No trigger warnings, unless you count in League. Kylar is Kylar. Yeah.

2.1k Words. Not including headcanons.

As your game came to an end, the bold letters flashed on the screen. Although the game wasn’t won, you still had a lot of fun. Especially since your support was good, and it seemed like the both of you had a good synergy.  

It was no surprise that you sent them a friend request and an invite to your next game, hoping to play some more with them. A feeling of joy rose up in your stomach as they accepted both invitations, their preferred lane positions already picked and ready. You were already ready to start the next game as well.  

As you started up the queue, you asked them the basics, getting to know them better. If your synergy together was as good as you suspected, you definitely wanted to play more with them. And you for sure wanted to keep them around if that was the case! Making new friends in-game was fun, after all.  

Music played on Spotify as your anonymous support was answering your questions. The answers were short and curt, giving your duo an aura of mystery around them. However, in the end you found out a few things about your lane partner.  

First off, they were a man, and his name was Kylar. He was also around the same age as you, he even studies computer science! Although his answers were short, his questions about you were plentiful. You answered most of them without a second thought, as long as they weren’t questions about your exact location. However, you didn’t mind giving him a vague answer, like which major city you live close to.  

You also made sure to cheer him up through the messages as best as you could when something didn’t work out on bot lane. His Nami was on point, he was actively using his ability to slow down the enemy, only to follow up with a bubble that would stun them, thus giving you a kill. But sometimes, things didn’t work out the way they were supposed to, all thanks to random visits from the enemy, which would catch both of you off guard.  

But you made sure to calm him down each time, giving sweet words of encouragement, effectively bringing him back to his composed state almost immediately, or at least, it looked that way after you saw his playstyle improve. You also made sure to praise him each time he did something good. Although you weren’t sure if it had any impact on him because of the lack of voice chat, you still hoped you made his day, since he kept writing back “Thank you.” each time you gave him a compliment.   

Unbeknownst to you, Kylar was a melting mess behind his computer screen after each time you have him a compliment. You were so nice and so easy to talk to! Not to mention, you were really good at the game. And you knew what to say to him to make him calm down. It’s like it was fate for both of you to meet!  

Oh, how much fun does he have playing with you. He was actually the first one to ask you to play with him next day, too. Kylar spent the whole day being online as soon as he woke up, since he didn’t want to miss you and he really, really wanted to spend more time with you. He has made sure to give you lots of compliments as well that day. 

Hiding behind the screen gave him the anonymity, hence making him more courageous. You appeared slightly later than usual, which made him worry as he started to overthink as to why you could be late by two hours compared to your usual time. So, it’s no wonder he went ahead and asked subtly, disguised under the pretext of asking how your day was.  

Oh, so you had to do some grocery runs and buy a few things! Oh, it’s getting colder, and you bought some sweaters, as well! He was sure you looked so good in the virgin killer you bought. Kylar is so sure you bought it for a potential meeting with him, his Darling dressing up all nice and pretty just for him.  

Although he didn’t know how you looked like yet, he was sure you were just the most beautiful Goddess on earth. It’s impossible for someone as kind and nurturing as you to not be beautiful to him! 

He could only hope that you felt the same excitement whenever you spent time with him. You had to. Otherwise, why spend time with him? You surely had a thing for him too. You had to.  

The more you played with Kylar the more attached you got. He was fun to text to and play with, and his mysterious nature made you more curious about him. You tried asking more questions over the last few weeks and lately, you’ve been curious about what he sounds like. At some point your head made up a deep voice, fitting for his mysterious personality.  

It didn’t take long for you to take matters into your own hands, asking him whether not he wanted to join a Discord call with you. You were so ready to hear his voice. The thought actually made you all giddy and excited. As you exchanged Discord nicknames, you glanced at the screen. His nickname was Yamada-Kun, the same as his in-game nickname. He also had a picture of Yamada from ‘leveling up Yamada-Kun to lv999’.  

Your heartbeat quickened up as you clicked the call button, ready to hear Kylar’s voice for the first time. Kylar answered instantly, which surprised you. You barely even heard the Discord call noise; you were instantly connected to a call with him.  

Kylar shuffled about in his room, stumbling over his things. His hands felt shaky. His hands were sweating. He dried his hands by brushing them against his pants, hopefully less sweaty now. Kylar was so excited that he knocked over the microphone by mistake! Getting it took some time, since he had to be sneaky about it, but it was so worth it. Now his Darling can hear him in the highest possible quality! He was such a good boyfriend for you! 

As the microphone fell, you shrank a little at the noise, curious as to what happened. “Hello?” you said. “Is everything okay, Kylar?”. 

Your voice was so nice to him, so pretty and calming. It felt so good to hear you that he almost forgot about the microphone completely. He gingerly picked it up and placed it back on his desk. Then, he cleared his throat. “Y-Yeah, I’m good. My microphone just fell.” 

Oh, he did not sound like you expected. Not in a bad way, of course! You didn’t expect him to sound so shy and nervous, that’s all. But it was so cute that you just had to tease him. 

“Feels good to finally hear you, my Dear Duo! I was so excited. And I’m still excited for playing today. You ready?” 

Although you couldn’t see it, Kylar was nodding his head repeatedly, black locks of hair flying around and messing up his hairstyle, making it more messy than usual. “Y-Yeah, that sounds absolutely great, my Lovely.” 

Oh, he was using back pet names as well. He was so shy you thought he wouldn’t use it. You leaned back in your chair, pulling up League and logging it, then picking your preferred role to play before inviting Kylar to the game.  

God, his voice was so nice to listen to, even with all the stuttering and occasional voice cracks when he complimented you on nice actions you did in-game. It was so soft and delicate. Your ears felt hot and you felt a flush come to your cheeks as you listened to his voice. You desperately wanted to hear more, so you gradually asked him more questions, which he seemed to answer gladly, happy to satisfy your curiosity.  

The atmosphere on call was comfortable and it was nice to talk to someone during ranked games. Whenever he gave you a compliment or used a pet name, each time more confident than the other, you felt your stomach buzzing with energy.  

You reflected the same energy back to him. You did have some kind of crush on him. But that’s because he seemed so curt and mysterious in the beginning, and now you found yourself falling for how cute and shy he was being on voice.  

Your throat sometimes squeezed up, making it harder for you to say what you wanted. You didn’t even notice when you started to get nervous whenever you complimented him. Or used a pet name. You don’t remember when the last time was you felt so hot and giddy around someone else.  

But you knew that the feeling, despite it being slightly uncomfortable, made you feel mostly good. Happy.  

With how cold it was getting lately, your hands started to gradually become cold, to a point where you just couldn’t bear it anymore.  

“I think I should lay down and heat up, Kylar. My hands are cold as fuck.” You said. You exited the game and started to slowly close up other tabs you might have had open.  

“You could lay down a-and I’ll stream for you, Love! P-Please stay!” he sounded so desperate, it almost made you feel bad for wanting to go and lie down. A chuckle left your lips. He was so adorable. Like a bunny. 

“Sure. I’ll call from my phone in a few minutes. Need to change into my night clothes. Be right back, Darling!” and so you ended the call. You got ready and as soon as you laid in the bed, Kylar instantly called you, almost as if knowing you are in bed already. Huh. He must have some crazy 6th sense.  

You answered the call, getting comfortable under the covers. You already felt warmer, but not warm enough. Kylar pulled up some videos on YouTube as you guys chatted. Soon enough, he changed to Osu instead, showing you off his skill. Trying his best to impress you.  

“Jesus, my hands still feel so cold. F-fuck, my whole body is cold.” you mindlessly complained, snuggling more into the comfort of your quilt and soft pillows, impatiently waiting for your body to generate enough warmth. 

“I can be your blanket, Love!”  

You almost choked on your salvia as your breath hitched, suddenly feeling shy as you mulled over his words. He wants to cuddle you. Or was it something else? You felt so light-headed you weren’t really sure. You hid your face in your covers. 

“S-Sure. And I can be your pillow.” 

This time it was Kylar’s turn to blush. He stopped whatever he was doing in Osu, his brain short circuiting. He destroyed his own streak on the current Osu map he was playing and because of the level difficulty you soon heard an old retro melody that would signal that the map has been failed.  

His hands felt... Grabby. He desperately wanted to hug you. Feel you under his fingers. Give you the warmth you need. Slightly sweaty, too. He gulped. 

“W-We should meet up, if you really want to c-cuddle, Love.... Can we meet? Please, Love. I want to meet with you so badly. Give me the address and I’ll come as fast as possible, no matter how far you are.” 

His phone was already in the palm of his hand, looking up how far the busses and trains in his area would cost and how far they can take him. He was pretty serious about it.  

You felt so embarrassed by your words. You gripped your pillow tighter, bringing it close to your chest. You were unsure on what to say as you contemplated your next words. You really wanted that hug. 

“Okay, but... Only if you are somehow not that far away. Okay? You can come to (address)” you said. It wasn’t your home, but a place that was near enough. A gas station. A place where there are always people. It’s late and it would be the safest.  

Kylar immediately looked up the place and noticed it’s 40 minutes away by buss. He started grinning, a red flush took over his cheeks, reaching his ears and neck. He gripped his phone tighter, already packing things he might need into his bag.  

“G-Great. I’ll be there in an hour and a half! Jus-st wait for me, Love!” he ended the call, getting ready to meet up with you as fast as possible while you collected yourself and thought about what you have gotten yourself into.  

-------------------------

A few other things I've thought about while writing this one.

Some Kylar headcanons ahead!

They are probably into Otome dating games.  

In games like Osu! or Killing Floor, they are a casual player.  

More competitive games make them aggressive, although they don’t show it on chat if there’s a penalty. 

They do, however, make noises/sounds of frustration, maybe slamming their hand against the desk or keyboard, but never anything full-on destructive. 

Of course, Kylar will hold those reactions back when playing with you! 

To be honest, you have a calming effect on them.  

I feel like Kylar would be a Nami main when it comes to support, alternatively other cute champs like Lulu, Soraka, Lux. But enjoys an occasional Pyke or Senna.  

You bet they play anime songs/openings, Hatsune Miku or other Japanese music while beating the maps on Osu! 

If they are not playing anime songs/openings, they sure as fuck play emo/scene music. Pierce The Veil, Breaking Benjamin, Asking Alexandra. Sounds about right to me. Oh yeah, also listens to Night Core.  

I feel like at first, they would be court and short when it comes to messages. Mostly because they are shy and so they would seem cold at first. And yeah, you can’t hear their stuttering. 

But writing stutters and such also suits them lmao. I think they would use a lot of (…) whenever they write something. 

I am sure they would be voiceless at first because they would need to steal a microphone/headphones with microphone first, just so they can talk to you. 

[pansyfemme]

What's the weirdest pop sub genre you can think of, I want to find more strange and odd music

i think weirdness in music is subjective, and the only issue i have with reccomending entire subgenres is they can often be too specific or too broad, and it’s like. less that they’re weird to me its more that sometimes you can be exposed to a variety of types of sounds you haven’t heard other place. I have somewhat limited knowledge but i’m just gonna throw out some stuff that might sound new to you.

As usual i’m gonna say you should take a look into picopop, (stuff like plus-tech squeeze box, sonic coaster pop, macdonald duck eclair, hazel nuts chocolate and EeL) since they’re pretty. specific sounds that are a bit wacky but i find really charming and unique! theres a lot of picopop bands but those all have. a very cute but slightly absurd feeling to them.

In the realm of fast paced and hyper cute stuff, a mutual (hi, thank you btw!) turned me onto best fwends a few months ago and if you’re interested in fast cute and weird stuff, they’re.. kind of perfect for that.

also best friends forever is one of my fave bands so i’m not gonna answer a question like this and not mention them.

also weird thing but. if you’re really interested in stepping out of your comfort zone go on bandcamp and search ‘children’s music’, people often ignore kid’s music as not well done and cheaply maxe but there’s like.. a lot of really interesting stuff out there when you start looking for it. i got really into this album a while back. its bizzare but. a good time. i just reccomend trying to get the idea of what sounds ‘good’ out of your brain and trying a variety of different sounds. bandcamp in particular is full of really interesting instrumental stuff.

i guess my general tips for finding new music remain. 1) listen to music on several different platforms, you cannot live on spotify alone 2) you must actively spend time searching to find a lot of stuff, spend time browsing, not just listening. 3) limiting yourself to music only in languages you understand (or can even find translations for) is a grave mistake

[serafilms]

song 56! you’re on your own, kid (taylor swift) + choi soobin requested by @explorewithd (spotify wrapped event)

i didn’t choose this town, i dream of getting out, there’s just one who could make me stay all my days

There’s a town on the west side of the coast, where the air is fresh with salt and pine. It’s small, quaint if you will, consisting of one market, one convenience store, a singular movie theatre, one McDonald’s and a whole bunch of family owned restaurants.

The town is yours, but you hate it.

You’re sick of walking through near empty streets, of seeing the same faces you grew up with at school, of trying to think of activities to do with your friends, and doing those activities knowing you’ve done them a thousand times before.

You can’t wait to leave it all behind.

You’re sitting in a booth in the McDonald’s, pondering this, when a tray slides in front of your face.

“Here you go, ma’am.”

You scowl up at the looming figure of the tall boy in front of you. He slides into the seat across from you and takes off cap embroidered with the restaurant logo, immediately reaching for one of your fries. He runs a hand through his dark hair, ruffling the flattened mess as he chews.

“Isn’t it against company policy to impose on your customer’s meals and eat their fries?”

Soobin shrugs at you, tearing open your straw and stabbing it into your cola to take a sip.

“Policy, schmolicy. There’s like two other people on shift and no customers. I’ll be fine,” he says, grabbing another fry. “And please, you love me being here.”

You tug the tray towards you protectively. “Not when you eat my food,” you mumble.

He rolls his eyes but a smile creeps onto his face as he looks at you, and you have to look down at your food to stop yourself from blushing and smiling back like a schoolgirl.

You open the box of chicken nuggets and frown. “Hey, you gave me one less!”

“Oh,” he says, blinking down at it, “yeah, I ate one of them when I was packing it.”

He sees your unimpressed stare and rises. “I’ll bring you two extra,” he says, then grabs the box and retreats into the kitchen.

Soobin’s absence gives you some time alone with your thoughts once more. Choi Soobin is, you believe, the only good thing about your town. He’s your best friend, your soulmate, twin flame, whatever you want to call it. He’s the one thing in this place that you could never be sick of.

You love your other friends and everyone else in the town too, of course, but it’s not the same. You know they’d all be there for you when you need them, but you aren’t quite sure when their concern stops being out of genuine care and starts being out of obligation. For their friend, neighbour, community. Nothing in this town acts by itself, and you feel sometimes as though you’re nothing more than a cog in its old, steam billowing machine.

You think back to your years at high school. You’d wait ages at some party for your friends to notice you, to find you and come up to you, only for them to not be there. Because you hadn’t asked them to. Because they were only there when you needed them to be.

You wanted something more. A city so wide that only those you wanted to find you could, that every friendship, every relationship is by choice. Freedom. More than that, you wanted somewhere that could contain your dreams, fulfil them. You were always overflowing in this town. You just wanted to know that you’re not on your own.

Your eyes flit upwards as Soobin returns and hands you the box. You’re pleased to find that he did put in two extra, and reach over to pat his head in gratitude. “Good job, Soobie.”

He squirms away from your hand and pouts at you, but forgets it as he grabs another of your fries.

“Stop that!” you protest.

“I’m only eating the super crunchy ones that you don’t like!”

You roll your eyes and take a few fries yourself, surveying the boy in front of you. His hair is tousled as it usually is at work, his face is a little shiny from the heat of the kitchen, and his eyes are wide as his mouth chews and he focuses on it. Something tugs at your gut, and you have a horrible reminder that to leave this town behind, you might have to leave Soobin behind too.

“Hey, do you ever think about getting out of this place?”

Soobin looks at you in confusion. “You mean McDonald’s? Well, yeah eventually, but it’s an easy way to make money right now—“

“No,” you interrupt, “I mean, like, out of this town. Move to the city or something.”

You feel the heat on your neck rising in embarrassment as his face morphs into one of surprise.

“I— do you?”

You begin to grow hesitant, but your desperation to confide in him wins, so you say, “Yeah, I do.”

He’s silent for a while, looking down at the fry in his hand, and you feel your anxiety start to take over, so you continue.

“I mean, obviously not forever, because I’d still come back and stuff, but I want to know what it’s like out there. I want to know if they can help me do the things I want to do.” He’s looking at you now. “I want to know that there’s more than just this version of myself.”

“So you’re thinking about moving to the city,” he speaks finally.

It’s less a question than a statement, and you aren’t quite sure how he’s feeling about this, so you ask, “If I was, would you come with me?”

There’s a long silence in which Soobin looks at you, and you meet his eyes, and you see uncertainty swimming in them until he says. “I don’t think I would.”

You feel your stomach sinking like a heavy stone. “Why not?”

“Well, because,” Soobin fumbles and his tall figure seems to shrink in on himself as he frowns, “because I’ve got friends here and family. I can’t just leave them like that.”

But what about me? You want to scream. How can he be so okay with letting you go? You want to yell at him, cry at him, rip your hair out, because if Choi Soobin wants to stay in this town you know that there isn’t enough resolve in you to leave him behind.

You want him to come with you, to fight to be with you, even to fight to make you stay. Anything, anything that will show you that he cares. Your hopes are disappointed.

“But if you do go, you know we’ll always be friends, right? You can call me whenever you need me.”

You feel as though you’ve been ripped in two, half of you left behind with the version of Soobin that sat there before this conversation happened.

You can call me whenever you need me, he said, whenever you need me.

You suppose that as much as Soobin is the best thing to come out of this place, he is still a product of it.

“Yeah, I know,” you say back, and manage a weak smile as he gives you one back. The two of you manage to divert the topic and spend some time devouring your meal until you’re finished and you finally have reason to leave.

“You should get back to work,” you tell him as you rise.

Soobin looks conflicted, and you see sadness in his eyes and the downturned twist of his lips, but he nods and makes his way around the table to give you a hug. You almost tear up at the feeling of his arms around you, chest pressed to yours, and you pull back before the tears fall.

“See you later,” he says.

“Bye, Soobin,” you say.

When you arrive home, you collapse into your bed and allow the tears to fall. You guess you really are on your own.

[satansapostle6]

The Man Who Sold The World | Luke Castellan

Spotify Playlist Link

Katherine. She was the one who started it all for Luke Castellan, the reason he did what he did.

Warnings: Mature themes/language. Violence. Sexual content.

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen: Soul Of A Woman Was Created Below

“Luke,” Silena Beauregard said, interrupting Luke’s quiet day with Katherine as they sat alone on the beach together. “Chiron wants to see you.”

Luke and Katherine exchanged a silent look, knowing exactly what this could’ve been about.

“You started a fight. With Adam Peters,” the dark-haired centaur said humorlessly.

“Chiron,” Luke began readily, “Sir… He was saying some pretty deplorable things about Katherine.”

“Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter, Luke, that doesn’t give you the right to hit someone,” Chiron reminded him, not sounding unlike a teacher reprimanding a small child.

“The hell it doesn’t!” Mr. D. chimed in, lazily sitting in the corner. “If the kid talks shit—”

“Thank you, Mr. D, I’ll take it from here,” Chiron interrupted, not sure who he felt was more of a misbehaving child. “Luke. The fact remains, you are a Head Counselor, and your behavior not only reflects on yourself, but on your cabin mates, and us as well. I understand that your intentions were admirable, however, the fact still remains that you attacked another camper—”

“Then kick me out,” Luke blurted out.

“Excuse me?” Chiron questioned, as Dionysus suddenly became increasingly more invested in the discussion.

“Kick me out,” Luke repeated, fully prepared to face the consequences. “Banish me.”

“Luke,” Chiron began, trying to reason with him, “There’s no need to be rash, the situation isn’t quite that dire…”

“I’m serious,” he said again, as Mr. D. sat there watching them, entertained. “If you really can’t see why I did what I did, then maybe I shouldn’t be living here. I’ve been on my own before, I can do it again.”

“Luke,” Chiron said again, trying to reason with him, “There’s really no need to be dramatic—”

“Why not?!” Dionysus hollered, bored to death. “If the kid wants to leave, let him leave!”

“He can’t just go off on his own!” Chiron snapped impatiently.

“Why not? He’s done it before,” the god of wine pointed out stubbornly.

Luke just stood there, completely ignoring the both of them.

“Demigods are safer here at camp, and you know that,” Chiron chided him.

“He’s eighteen,” Mr. D. pointed out, gesturing to Luke as if he wasn’t listening. “He can do whatever he wants.”

In that moment, Luke felt a strange affinity for Dionysus, something he never thought would happen.

“Luke. You don’t seriously want to leave over this,” Chiron sighed, sounding stressed as he tried to diffuse the situation. “Seeing as… your intentions were honorable, and this was your first ever incident like this, I’m going to ask that you return to Cabin 11, take a step back from your counselor duties for a few days, and stay away from Adam Peters,” he said sternly.

Luke stared at him, trying to determine how he felt about the situation. It seemed his anger had dissipated, and he had no residual feelings about the situation.

“Okay,” he decided amicably.

“You may go,” the camp activities director dismissed him.

Without another word, Luke disappeared, heading back to the room he shared with Katherine. Naturally, his mind wandered back to the day before, to his ‘reward’ for getting into a fight with Adam. Although he and Katherine would often get into some pretty rough or generally intense sex, he’d never felt anything quite like what he’d felt that day.

He’d never felt such a raw, almost violent energy coming off of Katherine. Of course, she didn’t do anything unusual, or out of the ordinary for her, but it was just something in her eyes that felt deeper and darker than usual. Something in her was different, and he didn’t know what it was, or how exactly it had happened. All he knew was that she thought a little differently, and she acted a little differently.

He knew there was something. There was a difference between sleazy motel sex and being consumed by the evil in each other’s hearts. He knew he couldn’t think clearly because being around Katherine always clouded his judgment to some degree; he loved her, more than he’d ever loved anyone, which meant the she brought out the best and the worst in him.

Luke was certainly confronted with this disturbing reality when he and Katherine got into their third fight since arriving at Camp Half-Blood. Luke barely even remembered how this one started. All he knew was that Annie, one of the girls from the Ares cabin, had said something about him, which ended with Katherine slamming her face into one of the tables in the mess hall.

There was cheering going on, even from many of the other Ares kids themselves. They mostly had no concept of sibling loyalty when it came to fights; a winner was a winner. Luke watched, dumbfounded as Katherine forced Annie’s face down onto the table, even as she was already crying, which was really quite surprising considering Annie was one of the most violent girls Luke had ever seen at camp.

He just stood there, mesmerized and horrified all at once as he watched Katherine, initially indifferent towards her behavior. After all, Annie was a cruel and violent person who needed to be humbled. But he then realized Katherine took things a bit fat when she unsheathed her spear, holding one of the sharp edges to the girl’s throat.

Everyone went silent. No one was laughing or cheering anymore. Luke’s eyes widened as he realized she was actually starting to draw blood.

“You wanna repeat what you said about my boyfriend?” Katherine Montalvo questioned.

“No,” the girl sobbed, pleading with her.

For a split second, Katherine didn’t move her hand at all from the spear. Even Luke didn’t know for sure what she was going to do in that moment. She was unpredictable. But luckily, after a moment of brief consideration, Katherine pulled back the spear, releasing the girl as she cried and whimpered pathetically, walking away as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

Everyone was petrified with fear, and no one had anything to say. They all scurried away, just glad it wasn’t them in Annie’s place. Katherine stormed off before Luke could catch up to her. He looked around, trying to decide what to do, when Annabeth Chase passed him on the way to training.

“Your girlfriend’s a psychopath,” she muttered, before walking away.

Luke just sighed as he walked off to the beach after Katherine, who was already pretty far ahead of him. But of course, he was stopped by someone else.

“Hey. Luke,” Claire, a fifteen year-old girl from Cabin 11, said to him.

“Hey,” he responded, only half present in the conversation as he worried about Katherine.

Claire was unclaimed, but an obvious daughter of Hecate, the goddess of magic, and essentially all things mysterious. Luke still remembered the day she first arrived at camp. She was only eleven years old, and had used magic to stop a sword from hitting her during training.

“What happened to her?” Claire Britton demanded.

“What?” Luke asked, caught off guard by the question.

“You heard me; what happened to her?” she asked again.

“I don’t…” Luke paused, trying to think. “What do you mean?”

“Something’s off with her,” Claire spoke more clearly, looking off in the direction Katherine had gone off in. “It’s like she doesn’t have a soul.”

Luke studied her for a moment, not sure what to say, or even think.

“…What do you mean, it’s like she doesn’t have a soul?” he questioned.

The girl just sighed, not sure how to explain her thought process.

“Part of magic is… the soul. Every living thing has some form of one. When you use magic, and you’re able to control it, you learn how to sense it in other people. I meet a person, and I can sense their magic, and their soul,” Claire provided.

“Yeah, sure,” Luke nodded, following her explanation. “So… When you—When you look at Katherine, what do you sense?”

Claire tried to think, her blue eyes full of worry. “As far as a soul? Nothing. Or, almost nothing,” she told him.

His heart dropped as he knew that finally someone had confirmed what he didn’t know enough to fear.

“Everyone has a soul; you’re born with one. But when I look at her, it’s like something happened to hers. Like it got sucked out of her body,” she replied. “With her, I sensed it right alway. Like blood on a wound.”

“Have you ever seen this before?” he asked, trying to gather information.

“Honestly?” Claire asked, nervous to tell her Head Counselor. “No,” she shook her head.

Luke had no idea what to do with that answer. He had no idea whether her insight was reliable, or whether this really was all connected, but he knew he had to go and find Katherine.

“You have to do something about that. It seems awful… Like a gaping hole. It makes me feel hopeless,” the young girl confided in him. “I think you have to find a way to fix her.”

“I, uh… Thanks. For telling me,” Luke said awkwardly. “I’ll talk to you later,” he announced before running off.

He found Katherine sitting down at their established spot by the beach on the shore of Long Island Sound, looking off into the distance. She just sat there, sitting up straight, arms limp by her sides as she stared out at the water. Luke had never seen her look quite like this before, and it only made him wonder more if Katherine really was devoid of a soul after being revived by Kronos himself.

“Hey,” he said softly, sitting down beside her as he ignored every other thought in his head. “What’s going on?” he said softly.

She just looked at him for a moment, a defeated expression on her face. She just sighed, looking back out at the water.

“I’m angry,” she said, in a way that made him doubt the fact.

“You’re angry?” he asked softly.

She nodded. “Yeah. I’m so angry… It’s consuming me on the inside, and I don’t know why. I mean I literally don’t know why… It’s like I got mad, but I forgot why I got mad, and I didn’t wanna admit it, so I just stayed mad,” she said softly, her eyes burning as if she were about to cry.

“I’m sorry,” Luke said gently, trying to ease her pain somehow.

“I’m mad, but I don’t know why I’m mad,” she told him.

He listened intently, trying to listen for a way to make all of her problems magically disappear. But no such luck.

“I’m sad, but I can’t cry. I know I should be scared, but…” she just shook her head emptily. “I’m not. I don’t know what’s doing this to me,” she confessed.

Luke watched her, heartbroken as her face twisted into numerous uncomfortable, forced grimaced because she wanted so badly to cry, but couldn’t quite do it.

“I, uh…” he didn’t know what to say to her at all. “I think I know what might’ve done this,” he told her, watching as she looked at him in confusion.

“You do?” she asked, not understanding.

“I, uh… I think I did this to you,” he concluded. “* think I took all that away from you,” he said guiltily.

“Why?” Katherine asked, concerned for him.

“Because, when I begged Kronos to save you, I think it fucked things up,” he confessed, a fear in his eyes.

“What—What do you mean?” she asked him.

“I think… I think you were dead, for like a second,” Luke thought, trying to explain without upsetting her further, “And maybe somehow he brought you back without your soul, or part of it,” he spoke softly.

“I know,” she nodded, as Luke gave her a look of confusion.

“You know?” he asked. “What do you mean, you know?”

“It’s my soul, Luke, I can feel when it’s gone,” she said flatly. “Or at least part of it.”

“But you never said anything,” he reasoned, stunned by the revelation. “You could’ve told me if something didn’t feel right…”

“That’s the thing, Luke! It did feel right,” Katherine insisted, a look of discovery gracing her features. “For once, I felt different. Ever since that day, I haven’t thought about it much… But still, every morning, just in that second as I open my eyes I think about the fact that I killed my own father,” she admitted for the first time.

There was an involuntary expression of disgust on Luke’s face. He understood exactly what she was saying to him, and he felt kind of horrible about the fact that she still felt some sort of guilt for taking her father’s life even after everything that had happened to her.

“I think about it every morning, I thought about it every morning… Until Kronos brought me back,” she looked at him for a moment. “At first, I thought I’d finally found a way to put it out of my head altogether… Until I realized that something was missing.”

“What… ‘Brought you back’?” Luke echoed. “You mean, you went to…?”

“The Underworld,” Katherine nodded, remembering every detail. “Yeah. I was only there for a split second, but… Yeah. I went there. And I saw what was in store for me.”

“What was it?” he asked her, afraid of the answer.

“What do you think?” she asked quietly.

There was a darkness that sat in the center of her eyes, an abyss of nothingness in her pupils.

“The Fields of Punishment?” he presumed.

The Fields of Punishment were the deepest, darkest place in the Underworld where mortals and demigods could go. It was the Greek hell. Anyone who ended up in the Fields of Punishment was tortured for eternity in accordance with all of the sins they’d committed in their human life. It was a place of misery and evil.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I didn’t wanna tell you, because what’s the point? I didn’t go there at all, but… I knew that’s where I was headed. I was about to be judged. I knew how it would end.”

“But, that doesn’t have to be the end,” Luke reasoned, “Surely we can both change things—”

“No, Luke,” Katherine shook her head. “We can’t. Not unless Kronos takes control, because the things we’ve done so far, that are the reason we’re going down… That’s only the beginning. You and me, we’ve already racked up an eternity worth of screaming torture, and we haven’t even found a way to bring Kronos back yet.”

Although they were grim, he knew there was truth to her words. They’d only just begun on their journey together, and already plenty were dead.

“So, that’s it, then?” he concluded. “You and me, we’re going to hell together, and there’s no way any of that will change?”

“Unless you wanna turn back now and dedicate maybe eighty years to helping the homeless with cancer to redeem ourselves, no,” she pointed out. “I’m afraid this is it, my friend.”

“But, we could at least try and get your soul back,” Luke offered. “I mean, I’m sure if we head down to the Underworld, we could find it again…!”

He tried to seem optimistic, but she just shook her head.

“Haven’t you been listening?” she questioned. “I don’t want it. I don’t want to have a soul,” she smiled.

Luke tried to come up with a response, something hopeful to try and convince her, but he realized he had nothing.

“It hurts when I try to feel more than what’s on the surface, when I try to find real humanity inside of me… But when I just kind of surrender to that current, when I just let Jesus take the wheel…” she let out a cold laughter that was strangely chilling to the skin. “It’s like I can finally breathe. When I bleed, it doesn’t hurt. When I run, I don’t get tired. When I love, I don’t feel sad…?” she tried to search for a conclusion that wasn’t there.

“You hurt people, and it doesn’t hurt, either,” he nodded.

Katherine just cocked her head to look at him closer, regretful of the sadness he felt for her. “Luke, not having a soul is the best thing ever… It’s like flying. You go, and you just don’t stop.”

Luke had nightmares that night. Katherine had of course fallen asleep easy and slept like a baby, but even into the ‘wee hours’ of the night, Luke couldn’t find surrender. It must’ve been at least 4 a.m. before he managed to drift off to sleep. But even once his eyes closed for good, what he saw behind them kept him up in every way possible. It was horrifying.

“I don’t want to have a soul,” Katherine Montalvo smiled, her beautiful face haunting his nightmare.

“What happened to her?” Claire Britton demanded.

Gunfire erupted in Luke’s ears even as he slept, remembering the way he and Katherine had executed what looked like half of an entire precinct just because they were in the middle of a quarrel.

“What the fuck do you want me to do about it?!” Katherine screamed at him.

“You?! You’re the reason we’re in this whole mess to begin with!”

The memories were all too much for him. That night, in his sleep, he saw all of it. The good, the bad, the ugly. All of it was too much.

“I love you,” he heard her say to him as he echoed.

“I love you.”

The things he saw affected him more and more.

“No, you’re gonna be okay!” Luke sobbed. “You’re gonna be fine, you’re gonna live!”

He fidgeted aggressively in his sleep as he unconsciously tried to run away from the image of Katherine’s lifeless body in his arms.

“Someone… Give me Katherine back! I beg of you! I’ll do anything! Anything at all, I’ll offer you my soul, I’ll offer you eternity! I don’t care what it is, just bring her back to me! Please!”

Luke worked up a sweat as he tried to stop the visions plaguing his sleep.

“The Fates have their plan for you,” Hermes’s words scarred him. “And between us, I think they’re angry with you.”

“One soul has already been claimed.

One will be sacrificed to pain,

The other to an eternal reign.

Time will betray you,

And blood will ensue.”

Luke thrashed about in the bed, unable to escape the visions. He searched around for Katherine, desperate to find the warmth of her touch, but she was nowhere to be found in the recesses of his mind.

“Build me an army,” a burning cold voice nearly burst his eardrums. “Bring me more followers… Each soul is a fragment in my sarcophagus… Do not fail this time. Her soul lies lost in the Underworld, so that there would be no distractions.”

Luke wailed like a crying baby in his sleep, forcibly sent back in time to his failed quest in the Garden of Hesperides. He remembered his father’s request of the Golden Apple, and he remembered the dragon, Ladon. He painfully remembered as he tried to slash at the creature with his sword, and he remembered the way its claw had burned him, clawing from the bottom of his right eye nearly all the way down to his chin.

“Aghhh!”

Luke Castellan screamed out loud as he woke up, safe in Katherine’s arms as she’d been trying to wake him for who knows how long. He thrashed about, instinctively trying to escape from danger as she gently held him close to her, holding his arms down.

“Shhhhh, shhhh, it’s okay,” Katherine breathed in fear, trying to soothe him as he woke up in tears. “You’re okay. You’re safe… You’re right here, with me.”

“No, no!” Luke screamed, reaching out and touching his face as he felt the tissue of his scar burn.

He remembered the feeling of being at the dragon’s mercy, something that happened every so often due to his nightmares, and when it did happen, he couldn’t escape it no matter what he did.

“Hey,” Katherine whispered, desperately holding him in her arms as he cried uncontrollably, “Hey, I’m right here. Just take a deep breath for me, okay?” she pleaded with him.

Luke choked on his own breath as he tried to speak up, urgently trying to relay to her the message Kronos had left him with.

“Ka-Katherine,” he sobbed, looking up at her with urgency, “He said—”

“I know,” she nodded, understanding what had probably happened, “But I need you to breathe, okay? Just breathe.”

Luke struggled to return his breathing pattern back to normal. His breathing was shaky, harsh, and painful as he tried to take deep breaths like he knew he was supposed to, which seemed to only result in aggressive hyperventilating. Luke cried helplessly as he tried to breathe normally, his physical state of panic only growing worse.

“Baby, baby, it’s okay,” Katherine promised him, rubbing soothing circles on his back as he broke down in tears. “Shhhhhh…”

The way she comforted him only made him worse. The last time someone had rubbed his back trying to soothe his crying was probably when he was about seven years old, when his mother tried to calm him down after waking up from a nightmare.

Luke choked on his long, miserable sobs as Katherine tried to comfort him, listening to his incoherent screams.

“It hurts!” he told her in tears, “It hurts…!”

“I know,” she cooed. “I know.”

She continuously rubbed gentle circles all over his back as he cried, his entire body curled up in a protective ball as he shivered in her lap.

“He wants an army,” Luke choked out, trying to collect himself before he was ready, “Allegiance to him. That’s how pieces of him appear. He needs an army to be whole again—”

“I know,” Katherine assured him, understanding completely.

-

Chapter Fifteen

[atsoomi]

[Kuroo's very special birthday HCs]

In honor of tetsu's birthday, I wrote some kuroo bf hcs because the thing I'm writing will take some more time (as it always does) and I wanted to dedicate a portion of my brain to him for the last 2 days. Some of these will be written out at one point so you can look forward to that!

Kuroo is as active as he is lazy. He will get up early on weekdays for his usual run, but when it's the weekend and he has the opportunity to stay in bed and cuddle with you? Best believe he won't consider ever getting out of bed.

His body is naturally warm, but his hands and his feet are as cold as a corpse's. It's always a lovely surprise when you're in bed and the most icy feet in the world come near you.

The kind of guy to take you out at least twice a week. And if he can't then you'll have a movie night kind of date. He values time with you more than you could ever know, is he watching the movie or is he watching you

This mf will always ALWAYS use a mistletoe when it's the season for mistletoes. "Tetsu there's snow outsi- where'd you get that mistletoe." "I have no idea what you're talking about... it just appeared here. I think it's a sign."

Please kiss him, shut him up. Not that it will stop him, but it will provide world peace for a few minutes.

You have long extensive talks about whether you should get a dog or a cat. You don't feel like you can support both, but kuroo is as stubborn as you are and you end up getting both. The cat and the dog take to being around each other and everytime you find them cuddled up together, kuroo goes "hey look it's us"

100% the kind of guy to do face masks with you, he wouldn't do it on his own but when you suggest a skincare night he's like "ok when do we start, I've always wanted to try the pineapple one"

When some guy is trying to get too friendly with you, he always shows up out of nowhere and puts a hand on your waist and is like "who's this babe 😇" as if he doesn't have the most menacing aura ever

No one tries to hit on you again (he looks like he could throw in a couple good punches)

He knows you like his biceps and he never wastes the chance to flex them so your pupils can dilate and he can see that awed look on your face, the look you give before you're about to go feral

Does he regret it when you start biting his arm as habit? Only a little bit

When you're tired, he'll help you take care of yourself (most favorite hc ever, someone hold me down) and even if you aren't, he helps you with general self-care tasks. Washing and brushing your hair, folding your clothes, cleaning your shared living environment, taking off your make up. When you're especially feeling down he looks up recipes to try and cheer you up with baked goods, they always taste medicore but you will finish whatever he prepares even if it kills you, goddammit.

You ofc share a spotify playlist for everything. He has technically memorized the lyrics for the car playlist so he can sing along when you're passionately performing for your 5th world tour on the way to get groceries.

The most supportive boyfriend ever. Even as a friend kuroo has a habit of pushing people to see their true potential without coming on too strong, so when you're doubting yourself and you're his girlfriend of all people, you better believe he's not letting that happen.

Every achievement of yours is celebrated, he reminds you that you focus more on your failures than you do on what you succeed in. So everytime you doubt yourself he'll have a list of things you've done to remind you that your doubts are lying to you.

Generally, kuroo is such an amazing boyfriend when it comes to self-growth. He brings out the best in you over and over again, and when things get really hard, he would never turn away from a moody version of yourself.

He's patient and he would never give up on you out of all people.

Got too emotional there okay.

For his ~birthday~ you organize a surprise nekoma reunion and he is startled by walking into your shared apartment and everyone is there, yes even kenma, and you don't think you've seen so happy in years.

From the bickering between old teammates to seeing what everyone is up to now that they're all going different places, kuroo has the most fun he has had in a while.

Part of him will always miss how things were.

But part of him is certain that the present is much more promising. Because as he looks at you laughing with his childhood friend, who's practically closed off from the world, and your laugh sounds like a song he wants to hear everyday, he knows that wherever you are is where he wants to be.

[mielkexnn-miraculous]

A. Agreste (aka Chat Noir) Headcanons <3

Kind of a lot tbh—just headcanons that I like to apply in my AUs when they don’t clash with their particular premises. It’s just a hot mess under the cut yeah? Cool.

He was actually in ballet classes as a kid—the same ones as Chloé.

What’s funny is that Marinette was there too. However, boys and girls were kept separate and so he only really knew Chloé.

He only found out when he was going through his closet and found a shoe box with his old shoes and a bunch of class photos; he noticed Marinette in the corner of one.

He’s still really flexible though.

He actually used to go to see a live rendition of The Nutcracker each Christmas.

He wanted to play the Rat King rlly badly.

He’s got a killer steady hand that makes for rlly good cursive.

He has the neatest handwriting in the class, and takes rlly good notes too—particularly in physics.

He’s also got terrible sense in fashion. He knows good stuff when he sees it, but doesn’t know bad stuff is bad at all.

He really likes milk; in some horrible twist of fate, he’s also lactose intolerant.

He’s totally touch starved and rlly touchy feely w/ certain people.

He refuses to kill bugs. He once screamed and lifted Alya up off her feet for trying to squash a spider in the middle of science class.

He put it in a cup before disappearing for a good five minutes so he could walk all the way over to the park to release it where it would be safe.

He’s English and French.

He really likes gelato—specifically passionfruit; peach is a close second tho.

He knows how to run in heels; has a subtly burning hatred for them.

He really likes light up sneakers though and always wanted a pair.

He knows Morse code.

Rlly ticklish.

Sneezes super loudly.

Really crappy immune system thanks to never being allowed outside his castle walls; he got sick like three times within the first two months of school.

He really likes Piano Man by Billy Joel and can sing and play the whole thing.

Honestly his music taste consists of five types of music: Heavy/classic rock, classical/classical-style music (In The Hall of The Mountain King slaps ok), Billy Joel, chill-somber-sad-theatric-feels-y, and whatever the heck that migraine-inducing bs he’s got stashed in the back is.

His Spotify is a hot mess tbch; lots of spontaneous playlists depending on how he felt at the moment. The titles are usually smth along the lines of “ifykyk”, “vibe”, or “yeah”; either that or just the playlist #.

He has like five that are nice enough to send ppl, and those are the only ones he’s listened to more than twice. They’re called “Classical Vibes”, “Cheese Demon”, “Billy Joel Aesthetic”, “sad”, and “Spontaneous 2am Dance Party OST”.

He’ll literally save recommended playlists and never listen to them.

He never bothers to clean it up though, and has 600+ playlists sitting around.

Also he used to drink a ton of pediasures as a kid and his father doesn’t let him drink them anymore bc he’s not a little kid anymore obviously but he would kill for a muscle milk.

He’ll throw up if he ever tries to eat kale again; it’s a trauma response ok.

Emotion smart but social dumb.

Honestly kinda yandere ngl.

I mean have you seen this man?? Cheez-its man, chill.

He resists when in civilian form but once he’s transformed it’s Full Gremlin Mode activated.

He’s not good at drawing but he does try; he does a lot of blob style digital and is slowly getting better.

He overcomes his feelings of being stuck and not knowing what to do in life as seen in wish maker when he spends time with the Dupain-Chengs and realizes that that is what he wants. He then dreams of working in the bakery one day.

Cannot for the life of him resist eating the batter, ok. He needs it. He’s gonna get heckin’ salmonella one of these days and it’s going to have been worth it.

He gets really good at frosting “flower” cupcakes. He switches to succulents pretty easily after learning how to airbrush. They’re adorable.

Also really good at modeling lil fondant animals and things.

He’s developed separation anxiety surrounding both ladybug and Marinette—he rlly just wants to have both of them in one place at once and he’s rlly sad that it somehow never seems to happen; he’s rlly happy post-reveal.

He rlly loves babysitting; like honestly he loves kids, so so so much; if he weren’t thinking of taking over the bakery (and/or tied down as Chat Noir), he’d probably become a pediatric nurse or a daycare attendant or smth bc 💞💞💞

He’ll leave the press to Ladybug so he can talk w/ the akuma victims and make sure they’re okay.

He’ll escape out his window and climb to high places when stressed to pace.

Once lost a Chat Noir look alike contest.

Has referred to his civilian self as, and I quote, a “dipshit boytoy” whilst en costume.

He became a total night owl thanks to his miraculous but he’s just rlly good at pretending to not be tired.

He’s more cat than he’d like to admit:

He’ll react to catnip when transformed;

He’ll also chase laser pointers;

He subconsciously stares at birds;

Once a bird got stuck in the classroom and everyone was freaking out trying to catch it in a wire trash bin and stuff but it kept evading them so Adrien looked up and pulled out his music, watched it for a second, and then caught it by the feet mid-flight;

He brought it closer to himself and calmed it down as best he could, petting it as he walked over to the window to let it out;

Everyone was flabbergasted but no one said anything as he went back to working and by the time anyone could speak it was kinda late for questions;

He gets the zoomies at the most inconvenient times;

He’s made incredibly uneasy by dogs despite actually being more of a dog person.

Also more destruction powers seeping in alongside the cat attributes:

When he’s is in a funk, there’s crappy cell service, lights flicker, machines go haywire and burn out;

If he’s REALLY upset, drinking glasses and crystal can spontaneously combust;

His powers trickle over into when he’s a civilian;

He just keeps getting more and more frustrated with his computer as it begins to function less and less and keeps giving increasingly worse error codes;

He’s in a funk for the first half the day at school and for some reason the wifi is down;

His mood is lifted after a good lunch break and all of a sudden the computers are working super fast;

Though it frustrates him at first, Adrien learns to hone his powers and either repress or, if needed, direct them.

That’s all I have for now! Feel free to adopt/modify any of these as you please :)

[hopelesstaemintic]

Whatever this is

It's finally complete, the story that was going to just be a silly sexy diversion of maybe a couple of hundred words and turned into nearly my longest work. I adore Taeil, Johnny, and Haechan together so much. Their dynamic is everything to me and I hope it will be to you too.

As per usual there is a mammoth related spotify playlist so you can listen along and links to that and my twitter (where I am much more active) are on my carrd.

STATUS:

Complete (11/04/24), 42,578 words, 11 chapters

SUMMARY:

You, a freelance writer in your thirties, finally have an excuse to get to know the cute guy next door (Taeil), but little did you think you'd be getting to know him so well, so soon. You also didn't count on him being a package deal with his two best friends (Haechan and Johnny). Will your hideous ex-boyfriend ruin everything? Or will the four of you find your own form of happy ever after?

RELATIONSHIPS:

Taeil/female reader, Johnny/female reader, Haechan/female reader

TAGS:

Older Woman/Younger Man, Polyamory, San Francisco, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Food, Neighbours to Lovers, Asshole Ex-Boyfriend, Foursome - F/M/M/M, Unprotected Sex, Fluff and Smut, Romance,Porn With Plot,Porn with Feelings, Healthy Relationships, just a shameless tribute to this trio, dance, Outdoor Sex, Tucked in t-shirts, chocolate cake, What on earth have I started?, Bagels, bad religious metaphors, Haechan is a little pervert, Mommy Kink, More cake than expected, I would make Johnny a sandwich, shameless fondness, extremely mild asphyxiation, it's business time

LINK TO FULL WORK

PREVIEW:

“Do you need a hand?”

You carefully twist your neck to peer around the top box of the pile in your arms. One false move and all seven are going to succumb to gravity, an outcome you should have foreseen prior to building your personal leaning tower of parcels. Sure, you’d made it safely into the lift and up to the fourth floor, but the buttons had all been hand height. Now you are faced with your true nemesis: the front door, lock higher than your current grip and keys unhelpfully held firmly between your teeth. It’s a formidable foe. For the last 5 minutes you’ve been at an impasse. Normally, you pride yourself on your resourcefulness and tenacity, but the bottom right corner of the architectural marvel that is your eBay splurge is starting to dig into your thigh. You groan and your mystery saviour moves into your line of sight.

It’s your neighbour: an attractive, slightly younger, man with whom you’ve previously only exchanged pleasantaries. He’s looking at you with a mix of awe and light concern. You’d vaguely registered someone arriving on your floor two minutes into your stalemate, but hadn’t realised it was the cute guy next door. What was his name again? Tim? Tony? Tae-something?

So far, he’d been content to watch on as you quietly struggle, but something in the way you were staring down the door with a look of outrage finally lured him in. So much anger for such a small person. You catch his eyes, try to smile, and glance back towards your door in a way you hope signals that, although you are a strong, independent, fully-embodied fourth-wave feminist, you are grateful for the assistance.

At that precise moment an errant hair falls to tickle your nose. You try and blow it out the way before you sneeze, forgetting your tenuous grip on the leather “cats before hoes” keyring between your teeth, and wince as it falls out your mouth and heads to the floor. When you don’t hear the expected crash of keys you reopen your eyes. Cute, revise that: HOT, Neighbour with the golden skin and good taste in EDM (thin walls) is holding your slightly soggy spit-laden keys in his open palm. He isn’t openly disgusted, which you suppose is a good sign.

“Oh god, I’m sorry…”

“Taeil.”

“Taeil.” Your brain glitches at the way his eyes flicker to your lips as you say his name, “Ah, yeah, would you mind getting the door? Sorry about… anyway I have gingerbread hand soap.”

“It’s August.”

“Seasonal scents are for basic bitches.”

CONTINUE READING HERE!

Enjoy this work? leave a like or reblog - every single one is appreciated. If you want to read more you can find links and descriptions to everything in my master list.

THANK YOU FOR READING!

[catmaidetho]

assigning my favorite guys crane wives songs

aka, in honor of the crane wives being my #1 artist on spotify this year, have some insanity. this list is loosely based on the life series, but each song aims to encapsulate a character as entirely as possible w/o focusing too hard on any specific event. i'll also say that i actively tried to choose songs that i haven't seen us as a community talk about that much.

Etho - Volta volta is a song about making the conscious decision to be present in your life, taking back control. etho is someone who constantly jumps from thing to thing, never really staying put, and i personally interpret volta as not just consciously taking back control of your life, but also making the decision to settle into something. it is about fighting your nature of running away and choosing to stay. i will admit that this song is about vibes more than lyrical content. still, have some lyrics

"Do you remember being young and eager? My heart was buzzing like a wire Give me a reason to connect, be nearer"

Bdubs - Little Soldiers ON THE BROKEN BACKS OF ALL THE WORDS WE SPARED, LIKE LITTLE SOLDIERS IN THE TRENCHES. IT WAS A MARCH WE MADE TOWARDS RUIN AND DESPAIR BUT WE HELD HANDS ALL THE WHILE. I SWEAR THAT I LOVED YOU. I SWEAR THAT I LOVED YOU. I SWEAR THAT I LOVED YOU---I SWEAR, I SWEAR!!!!

LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME THAT DOES NOT FUCKING SCREAM BDUBS. HE LOVES ME. I FOUGHT TOOTH AND NAIL BEFORE THE FLAG HAD FLOWN BUT YOU WERE ALREADY GONE!!!!!!

sorry little soldiers is one of my favorite crane wives songs. two people tied together with barbed wire, knowing that what they're in isn't good but refusing to let go out of a desperate attempt to cling onto love. tell me that isnt ethubs, especially the way we as a fandom dramatize them.

Cleo - High Horse high horse is a song about being a petty, spiteful motherfucker. it is about looking at someone you hold dear who has hurt you, and saying, "you know what? i won't stand for this" and throwing them under the bus.

"I'm done thinking about it You're never gonna get what you want So why feel guilty about it?"

Grian - How to Rest listen. look me in the eyes. i know we all like to pretend, especially in regards to scarian and the desert and double life, that grian did not/does not love scar. that the love, that the friendship, that the real connection they shared was not there because it makes for some juicy angst. look me in the eyes and tell me that grian being outright cruel towards scar is somehow more interesting than grian pretending he does not love scar, when in reality he does. tell me that blatant angst for angst's sake is more interesting than grian looking out for scar, not because of an obligation, but because scar is his friend and his ally and maybe sometimes people just chose to be around each other.

"Here's the truest thing I've ever known The heart is just a muscle with a rhythm all its own It doesn't stop when you decide not to move on The heart knows nothing of your love or of your loss"

Joel - The Wolf oh joel wants SO BAD to be a threat. he wants so badly for people to fear him, to take him seriously, to be the bad guy. however, his attempts at this often fall short, usually due to his own brazen overconfidence and snappy, petty nature. all of this, of course, pushes anyone who he hasn't latched onto away because who would want to align themselves with someone who wants so badly to be a loose canon?

"Can it be Can it be easy for once Cause I’m no good at being kind to myself Or anyone [...] I am a beast at your back You better run for your life"

Jimmy - New Colors i am by no means a jimmy expert, but this song is just so jimmy to me. he is so desperate to do well. new colors is a song about desperation. he is so desperate to be taken seriously, in a similar way to joel, but the difference is nobody ever does. i'm just going to leave you with these lyrics.

"Don't tell me that I can't Oh Lord, don't tell me that I can't I need this so damn bad"

"I give up my sight To see I give up my air To breathe"

Scar - Down The River i'm gonna admit, i really struggled to find one for scar, but i think this one works. scar doesn't put much stock into past grievances if it isn't convenient for him, he will simply move on and pretend he didn't do anything. this is ESPECIALLY relevant in moving between series---all bridges are burned, and must be rebuilt.

"Now, tell me, when you start again Where will you house your skeletons? Or will they stay behind Your settlement in kind?"

this post is getting kind of long, and im gonna admit im not confident enough in my characterization of the rest of the cast to assign them a song, so i'll leave this here for now :)

[timkonshipper]

I saw a post where mari, nino and kim are childhood besties so full credits to the og creator of this idea! I just wanted to build upon it a little with my own ideas.

All three of their mothers went to the same maternity class and instantly clicked with one another. 

Kim was born first, then nino and finally marinette

Marinette’s their darling little sister who always gets into shenanigans and pulls them with her but manages to get out of it at the last minute. Young Mari could talk herself out of anything. 

If she was feeling merciful she would get leeway for Kim and nino as well but if they had just done something to upset her, she would get them an even harsher verdict. 

The boys were her models when she was younger. It started off with little accessories and things like pouches, but no matter the object, they would dramatically model it just to see her smile. 

The first time Mari had ever made something, Kim wore it(a half finished hot pink dress) over his normal clothes and strutted the length of marinette’s room like he was at Paris fashion week. At the end, he posed to show off the 6 year old aspiring designer’s detailing and spun around with a flip of his floppy hair. Marinette got it on video and replays it at every sleepover because that particular memory holds a special place in her heart and never ceases to make her smile. 

Nino was a little more subtle but he always made sure to exaggerate her work in particular. He also insisted on wearing her work (no matter how it was) out in public and would hype it up to anyone who stared a little too long. 

They have a scheduled sleepover every two weeks but also have last minute ones whenever the situation calls for it. Their families meet for lunch every week either at one of their houses or at the occasional restaurant. 

Their families also go on a minimum of one trip every year. Those are always fun and filled with blackmail gathering. 

Mari has a sixth sense for knowing whenever one of the boys is having or going to have a bad day. She always brings their favorite pastries, a thermos of hot chocolate and cute animal videos to cheer them up. 

They hang out a lot for a variety of purposes. Sometimes they just study, othertimes they catch up and talk. But most of the time, they just do their own thing and appreciate one anothers company. 

Marinette obviously wants to become a fashion designer. She was the first one to figure out her future. 

Nino wants to pursue a music related career but he can’t decide what specific stream he would like. He also wants to try his hand at directing but also told Mari that he would be her manager and publicist whenever he became famous. So right now his goal is to DJ on the side and manage Mari fulltime. 

Kim’s dream is to become an olympic level athlete, however he also wouldn’t mind being Marinette’s model especially for athletic wear. 

Marinette is usually very optimistic excluding her deep anxious spirals, but she always bounces back from those right away. However, on those days that it’s hard for her to see the good things around her, Nino and Kim are attached to her hip and try to cheer her up and make her laugh. 

It would seem to an outsider that nino and kim wouldn’t get along, however they just fit together like puzzle pieces. The three of them together are like a finished work of art that doesn’t need anything else to shine. 

Nino has a playlist for every occasion, mood or scenario. They all share a spotify account managed by Nino. 

Kim makes sure that all of them remain physically fit and active. So even though nino seems like climbing a flight of stairs would wind him, he actually has quite the endurance. Kim’s training was what helped Marinette adjust to being ladybug so well. 

Even though Marinette didn’t explicitly tell them that she was ladybug, it was still quite obvious given how close they are. They all know that the others know, but they’ve never said it out loud. It’s just one of those unanimous things. 

Also nino and kim have never been akumatised(ignore canon) because they don’t want hawkmoth to get ahold of their memories and see who ladybug really is. They stay strong for Mari, but that doesn’t mean that they repress their emotions unhealthily. They just channel it in different ways that don’t result in them getting akumatised. 

[avida-heidia-5]

I was tagged by @twinkodium. This was a lot of fun! Thanks for the tag! 😊

Star Sign:

Aries. 🐏 (I don’t believe in zodiac signs and their supposed meanings. I just know I’m an Aries as I was born on 22nd March. 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Favourite Holiday:

Easter! 🐰🥚🌸 Because chocolate. I’m ADDICTED to the stuff! 🍫 Also, Spring is one of my favourite seasons. I just love seeing nature come back to life and seeing more wildlife more often after a long winter period. It brings me so much joy every single time. 😌

Last Meal:

I’ve just eaten homemade toad-in-the-hole for linner (dinner at lunchtime). It was deeeeelicious! 🤤😋

Current Favourite Musician:

Depeche Mode. I fell in love with them ever since they released their latest album Memento Mori (2023). I pretty much binged the whole of their discography on Spotify last year out of sheer curiosity and I’ve now become strangely obsessed with them as a result. I’ve recently learned that fans of DM are called “Devotees”, soooo yeah. I’m a Devotee now! Whoopsie! 🌹🎹

Last Music Listened To:

Meet Me In The Woods by Lord Huron. I like me a good folk rock song to keep me going. This song was just so pleasant to listen to. Plus, it’s very catchy. I couldn’t get it out of my head after listening to it.

Last Movie Watched:

I watched The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (2018) with my parents on Netflix a couple of weeks ago. For those who don’t know, it’s an anthology film of sorts containing many different stories centred around the Wild West. My dad recommended it to me as he likes watching films made by the Coen Brothers. I don’t have a lot to say about it other than I really enjoyed it. I’m a film buff and I usually have a lot to say about the films I’ve just seen, so having that happen to me was really odd. 🤔

Last TV Show Watched:

I don’t watch a lot of TV and I don’t keep up to date with any shows, so I don’t know if what I’ve put down counts.

I recently finished watching the Fernando (2020–) docuseries on Amazon Prime and I loved it. 🤩 It’s mainly about Fernando Alonso and the many adventures he got up to during his 2-year retirement from F1. It’s really interesting!

Last Book/Fic Finished:

The last book I read was The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum and the last fic I read was a Chalex fic called I Can Feel The Sun On You by mintchocolatechip97.

Last Book/Fic Abandoned:

The book I abandoned quite swiftly was a Dave Grohl autobiography my uncle and auntie got me for Christmas. I was never a Foo Fighters listener and I’m not a Foo Fighters fan. I still have no idea why they thought I’d like it. Sorry to the people who like them, they’re just not for me. 🙁

Currently Reading:

A Pocketful Of Happiness by Richard E. Grant. It’s such a sweet, tender, and heartbreaking autobiography that highlights how he got into acting and how he met and fell in love with his acting coach Joan Washington. ❤️

Last Thing Researched for Writing/Art/Hyperfixation:

“sebastian vettel mark webber 2010 monaco”. Just seeing pictures of these two smiling and hugging each other makes me smile. 🥰 I was also psyching myself up for this week’s F1 Watch Party on Discord, which, funnily enough, will be streaming the 2010 Monaco Grand Prix this Sunday. I can’t wait!!!! 🏎️💨🏁

Favourite Fandom Online Memory:

I love making friends through their interests in the fandom. The F1 community is massive, so it was easy for me to make friends online and in person as a result. I can feel comfortable being weird around them and in turn they can feel comfortable being weird around me. 🥰🥰🥰

Favourite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence:

I used to love the Merlin fandom when it was popular. I still do, but not as strongly as I used to.

Favourite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big “Fandom” But You Wish It Did:

Hmmm, this is a tough question. I’m not fussed with how popular my fandom choices are. If I had to choose one though, I’d say The Beatles. I think a lot of RPFs about certain bands and singers don’t get as much attention as, say, Formula 1 or Super Mario or Supernatural do.

Tempting Project You’re Trying To Rein In/Don’t Have Time For:

I really want to post some more fanfics on AO3, make some more banners on InShot, and do some video editing and gif making on CapCut, but I’m incredibly slow at doing all of them because college work keeps getting in the way of my plans. 😵‍💫 I hardly have enough free time to do any of them. Don’t worry though, I haven’t abandoned them altogether. I will get them done eventually! 🤞🏻

I tag the following peeps: @kaossbells, @hurricane-heatt, @racingliners, @formulaes5, and @wanderingblindly. Feel free to participate if you’d like to. No pressure obviously. 😊

[flinttcanwriteipromise]

Bruce Banner Headcanons

Because I love him <3

Summary: Headcanons my beloved

Pairing: Me and headcanons fr fr

A/N: Bruce is like- really traumatized, I don’t think he’s unpacked that yet tho.

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We all know Bruce is a tea guy, it calms him down. As much as he’s surrounded by coffee, he’s pretty adamant on having tea instead.

He’s actually pretty good at cooking, he just doesn’t do it often. I mean- He’s a chemist, and has a degree in it.

Bruce is also like the middle ground of the Avengers, you really can’t be mad at the guy so he’s the mutual friend amongst all. Y’know?

I saw a headcanon where Bruce likes to eat vanilla frosting from the tub, and I personally want to give you a shoutout and a little kiss on the head. I love you and your headcanon and I think about it everyday.

Bruce’s canonical first name is Robert, I don’t care why he uses his middle name, trauma related or not, but every time someone addresses him as Robert he starts looking around in alarm like a caveman spongebob before realizing you’re talking to him.

His wardrobe consists mainly of formal casual, like that purple shirt I love so much and casual wear, like oversized band t-shirts and stuff. He doesn’t have any bright warm colors like red or orange and he doesn’t wear flannel.

I like to think when he first started in the whole science thing, he would always have band-aids all over his hands and arms.

He’s a weighted blanket type of guy, he really likes his blankie ok?

I think he’d really like swimming, he learned it exercised all of his muscles so it’s the only sport he’s ever taken up.

As much as I love the fact he listens to classical music, he needs to get better music in his arsenal. Let’s be honest, there are WAY BETTER ORCHESTRAL SONGS ON SPOTIFY HE JUST NEEDS TO FIND THEM.

He plays piano, he looks like a piano kid. No other instrument, just piano.

He’s the type of student to be good at all subjects but excel in his topic. Like- he’s a straight A student, but when it comes to science he just becomes god.

His gym grades are build on his participation, he participates but he’s so bad at physical activities istg

He likes any type of puzzle except a select few, also- he hates jigsaw puzzles

I don’t really personally like Bruce and Natasha together?? I don’t understand how people saw chemistry, so I just wanted to say Bruce just wants a relationship, he wants to love and be loved. Bruce somewhat saw that in Natasha but it really just didn’t work out for him.

He actually has pretty good posture, as much as he scrunches over when working, he’s got incredibly good posture.

I feel like he’s got this hopeless romantic to him, like- he’s the type of guy to bring you flowers if you date? I feel like he’s got this classic idea of what a lover should be, y’know?

He doesn’t know how to ride a bike, or do some things usually taught to children by parents. His mom couldn’t teach him everything unfortunately.

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Thanks for reading, I just didn’t like how i ended this headcanon list so here is a little outro- I know my schedule is pretty inconsistent but a lot of my work are passion projects and most likely won’t be what I’m doing full-time. Thanks again for reading and I hope you’ve enjoyed!