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starrynightarchive · 1 year ago

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19, 6, 42, 22, 38, 33, 47, 50, 92, 90, 72, 75, 70

answer them all

demanding. hello to you too anon

19. what's been keeping you up at night lately?

your mom.

ok just kidding. uhhh not much. maybe the mistakes I need to fix and this distinct feeling of wrongness that lingers.

6. what role do you play in your group of friends?

let's ask them shall we

42. how did you meet your best friend(s)?

aha i actually wanted someone to ask this one! I'll give you three stories

sri: when i was in kindergarten i remember very clearly seeing this fucker in the restroom. she pulled out her handkerchief and made a banana out of it? i was not impressed. but she then proceeded to eat it/put it in her mouth. which I was impressed with. and then she saw me when I got stuck on the very top of this giraffe thing which you can climb. a teacher had to come up and get me down. bitch was just staring at me the whole time. didn't move a muscle. i love her so very much.

vhas: ok so. i had (have. love her very very much she's a menace and we met in a whole other way) a best friend and I got them into wattpad when I was 13. or 12. idk. then that friend in turn went to a classmate and made them join wattpad. so now all three of us started writing very bad very cringe stories. i was writing a straight romance paranormal story and vhas was writing some tragic yaoi godbles. i read it and fell in love with his writing. so one day, without warning, I just went up to him and said "hey! i love your writing!" and fucked right off. no intro no how are you no nothing. we ended up talking in hangouts (rip) and I made covers for his stories and shit. and then the rest is history.

sree: this is the menace friend. she lives really close to my house. first way we met was through our school bus (we took the same one and I sat next to her one day). she was reading harry potter and we figured that we both loved books. i introduced her to a few. and the very same week I went to my classical music class and they were there. i was like ??? but we became quick friends. proximity, similar interests, orange slices and stupidity. yeah. they're pretty neat.

22. how old were you when you joined the internet?

around 12, i think

38. what is your love language? i'm very expressive about my love for people, but the main ones are: physical touch, words of affirmation and gift giving.

33. have you ever thought about changing your name?

nope! i love my name very very much :D

47. how well-decorated is your bedroom?

not much. at first i had a sticky notes wall filled with quotes poetry etc etc but then had to take it down because it was getting dusty. then there's this huge ass micky mouse sticker stuck on my wardrobe (my dad bought it when I was a kid). skk chibi figurines and iwaoi standee both from my lovely friend vhas. then books. a few magnets stuck to my wardrobe. that's all

50. what do you consider most important in a romantic/platonic partner? being ready to put in work in the relationship. must be an open communicator/must be willing to try. oh, and a good sense of humour (this is very specific btw. i have a type. i will not elaborate).

92. who's in your dream blunt rotation? great question. idk if I'll ever smoke weed but. if I do tay will be my go-to person (@spiderbends)

90. weirdest habit?

i bite people. is that weird? idk

72. which is more important when it comes to clothing, comfort or style?

comfort all the wayyyy

75. how would you describe your favorite person?

icarus. burning wings. the kindest smile. the bravest man. lover, healer, believer. object of all my sweet dreams and sweetest nightmares.

70. when it comes to affection/intimacy, do you prefer to stick to one person or are you more open about it?

intimacy/affection to me isn't strictly connected to romance. and I'm a very affectionate person by nature. i love fiercely. all my loved ones will be bombarded with my love. get loved, loser.

#vi talks #ask game

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bedlamsbard · 1 year ago

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1800 words written today -- I meant to take today off doing anything related to school, which didn't really work because I accidentally ended up sitting down and working on my dissertation for an hour and a half. Which is objectively good because, like, I need to get the dissertation done and because I need to get class prep done tomorrow I probably won't work on it tomorrow, but also come on, man. Made chicken tortilla soup today (accidentally bought the wrong kind of tomatoes the other day and didn't realize until I'd put it in a pan with onions and garlic, so pulled it out to use for something else), which ended up simmering for about two hours longer than intended because that's when I accidentally worked on my diss. (I do mean accidentally, I don't do any of my school stuff on my main laptop (Problem Child, ten years old) if I can help it, I meant to just check my e-mail on my other laptop.) Watched the 2005 Fantastic Four today because the recent F4 announcement made me think of it and I'm not sure I've seen it since 2005. Did cement why the MCU works so well for me and most other superhero films do not do it for me. (I had the same feeling when I rewatched the X-Men films last year, the various Spider-Man films a few years ago, and AtSV a few weeks ago.)

For anyone who missed it earlier, I posted 1K of alternate POV Home -- Natasha's POV from her arrival in 1945. I am working on another alt POV for another prompt this meme, too. Also still grimly working on Home.

Snippet from Of Home Near chapter 14.

Dum-Dum blew his cheeks out, looking a little annoyed but otherwise resigned. His hands moved in front of him, the motions entirely unfamiliar until memory clicked suddenly into place. When Steve had been nine, he had come down with measles and gone deaf in his left ear. He had gotten some of his hearing back in that ear eventually, but at the time no one had known if he would lose the rest of it too. Bucky had taught himself ASL out of a book from the library, then given it to Steve, who liked languages anyway. They had kept it up even when Steve had gotten his hearing mostly back, since it had given them a way to talk to each other without anyone else understanding, though it had gotten Bucky a thick ear from his ma a few times when they’d used it in church. When they had joined the Howling Commandos, they had combined it with the LSF Dernier’s old Maquis group had used to make what speakers of both languages considered an untranslatable abomination, which meant that the Howlies had a secret, silent language that no one else could understand. Until just now Bucky hadn’t remembered any of that; Steve certainly had never mentioned it in the past two years, but then again, there hadn’t been any reason to; they hadn’t been in the field together between Siberia and Wakanda. Apparently he hadn’t been using it with his new team, either, because Sam asked with interest, “What’s he saying?” Bucky licked his lips. “He wants to know if it’s really me.”

#daily fic snippet #iw time travel concept

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dinosaurcharcuterie · 2 years ago

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The coolest part about this concept is that it shifts not only based on your location and native language, but your own personal Silly Zone can and will change as you're exposed to more languages.

Long example after break.

E.g. my native language is Flemish, Belgian flavor Dutch. The way pronounce G's is the Silly Zone for a lot of Dutch people. It doesn't help that we looked at medieval Germanic languages and decided, nope, everyone is wrong, you'll pry the semi-formal from our cold, dead hands. We're objectively right about it, but it doesn't help.

When I was very little, I could understand German, but not speak it, nor be understood by German speaking people when I spoke Dutch. It was like the words were in a fun house mirror, or made of melted gum. I knew what I heard, but I couldn't recreate their distortion. My uncle could and can fake German to the point that he's more proficient at everyday interactions in German than at least four people in our extended family who technically are at or above level A2 fluency.

English was weird, because we had subtitles on everything. It went from "12 words make sense, the rest is coherent gibberish" until I learned to read. With zero social interaction, it slowly morphed into something I could understand, then speak, then write, until it made sense, and "coherent gibberish" shifted to Frisian and the Scandi languages. Icelandic and Finnish just sounded like the Swedish chef had a very well-spoken twin.

French was a wall. The sounds made sense to some, I could witness that, but it took three years of mandatory French classes before I could vaguely make out that there was definitely a system to it. After the full nine years of French classes, spoken French makes sense--written French, once you get away from the grammar that is still in active, everyday use by actual people, just looks like absurdist poetry, playing with the sounds and spelling without imparting any meaning.

I took Latin in school to get out of science class. I'm not great at it, but I absorbed enough that Spanish and Italian--an intellectual concept at best before that--got that ooey gooey German texture, though not to the point where I can understand it quite as instinctively.

And then I learned Norwegian, and within 6 weeks, Swedish and Norwegian were perfectly legit languages. Icelandic isn't silly, it now sounds the way its landscape looks, for lack of a better comparison, or reads like someone wrote a mainland Scandi language in an old calligraphy hand, regardless of if the actual text is in Comic Sans.

No, my brain has decided that Danish is the one that isn't a real language after all, and the people who speak it need to drop out of clown school, because surely no one can take it seriously. I know it's definitely a learned behavior I absorbed from the Norwegians, but I'd have to learn Danish to stop.

Also, Frisian now registers as a language, but only in the way that fairies in disguise register as Neither Man Nor Beast in legends. The kind that leaves food for the poor and eats greedy landlords. Do I want to know more out of sheer curiosity? Yes. Have I read enough Frisian history to know what happens if you mess with them for shits and giggles? Also yes.

The absolute weirdest thing is Afrikaans. I can't read it for shit. 80% of the words make perfect sense from Dutch--a bit heavy on the diminutives, but you do you--and the rest turn any text into an AI hallucination to me. I got graded on it in high school and failed hard. But when it's spoken? Yeah, no, that's just someone using dialect and we can communicate without either party switching languages. It's like the world wanted to teach me the idea of "it makes sense if you don't think about it". And it does.

Then I grew up and got myself a German girlfriend, now wife, and had to improve my German if I wanted to live with her. And I learned that the German Silly Zone is "all German that isn't subtitled or dubbed on the ZDF news". Any dialect, regardless of if it's for a village, a region, a state or a country that's not Germany, gets treated by Germans like a new exotic fruit just got put in front of them and they have to figure out how to eat it with zero instructions. About 50% of people do so with all the grace of someone eating a pineapple from the fronds down and with the skin on; usually after spending five to ten minutes laughing at it.

The closer a language is to yours, the easier it is to understand, the further it is from you, the harder it is to understand. But there's a sort of uncanny valley right in the middle that makes a language sound silly.

I'm an English speaker. German sounds similar, I can even find cognates sometimes. Mandarin Chinese sounds completely alien, but I can understand that it is a language.

But Dutch, Dutch sounds hilarious. Dutch sounds like a clown version of English. I wonder why that is.

I've heard Spanish speakers say similar things about Portuguese, which makes me think there's some sort of linguistic Silly Zone.

#language #learning is fun #it's not good it's not bad it's just different #setting a bad example #Austrian German is the best German and no one can change my mind #fake it till you make it or someone brings you more fries #rant #happy rant #personal example #the academie française can take a long hike off a short pier #you can't conclusively prove to me that they *never* wrote in comic sans in medieval Norway

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sassypotatoe1 · 3 months ago

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I'm gonna say it as someone who works in media and understands the invaluable importance of short form media, but it's killed our everyday literacy and most people don't notice. Everyone talks about how tiktok destroyed our attention span and gave us all anxiety, but no one talks about how spelling everything out in under 60 seconds for people, while valuable in its own right, has killed our day-to-day literacy and reading comprehension.

A mostly discussed example of this is obviously media literacy reducing, people not being able to analyze text and read for comprehension, needing things spelled out for them so they can understand it, but what people don't talk about is that no one can read shit like bills, or signs, or letters, or forms.

We have no less than three signs on our office door, one with visual illustrations, telling you to ring the bell, wait for the buzzer, and then push to open. It's in incredibly simple language, a clear step by step guide, and again has visual illustrations. People try to open the door without ringing the very obvious doorbell, they hear the buzzer and wait for it to open magically on its own, they ring the bell multiple times while the buzzer is going. Some of it is genuine laziness and entitlement, but I suspect around 80% of it is genuinely just people not reading or understanding the signs.

Our clients are all functionally literate, we're a community newspaper, the people coming to see us at the office want to place an ad or collect leftover copies to job hunt or sell copies. They *can* read, most of them can write! But they *don't* read anymore when it comes to day-to-day things like signs on doors.

I also see it a painful amount of times when we have competitions. We publish the teaser and link for the article with the detailed instructions for the competition on Facebook, and people ask questions about shit explicitly explained in the article. If I could comment "it's in the article dipshit maybe actually read it" I would, but I would get fired. And it's a constant battle between being empathetic about illiteracy and annoyed that people actively choose to just not read things they don't think are important.

People knew how to do things in the past because they read the instructions. No one reads the instructions anymore, including the people who used to, and as such no one knows how to do anything anymore. Read and understand signs. Read and understand forms and contracts. If you have to carry a pocket dictionary and analyze the meaning of the text you are reading so you can understand fucking do that. Fucking for emphasis not fucking in anger. When I was growing up I genuinely actually literally read the dictionary for fun. I was the only person in my 4th grade English class who knew the plural for sheep is still sheep. That's not to brag it's to illustrate that if you put in the effort to understand something you will understand it.

If legalese is too difficult to understand, Google the words you don't know, highlight the subject, verb, object. Define things you don't know. It's tedious at first, painfully so, but I promise after like 3 contracts or legal documents analyzed this way you'll speak fluent legalese and no contract will confuse you again. Same for medical results and prescriptions. Same for application forms and job interviews. Same for literary analysis and academic essays.

Analyzing text for comprehension in 4th grade was not busy work because they thought we were too dumb to learn about tenses yet, it was to teach you how to read shit and understand it. If you find yourself not understanding things you read, ESPECIALLY important documents or instructions, please actually genuinely go back to 4th grade and analyze each sentence. It's a practiced skill, you get better at it, and quicker the older you get, and if you don't keep practicing it you can lose the skill.

I used to be able to read old English fluently because I read and analyzed it a lot in school, for fun. I have lost the ability to understand it right off the bat and need to read with Google dictionary open next to me, so you can lose the skill to read with comprehension I'm not full of shit.

I also recommend starting easy. Read newspapers, read children's books and teen books. Read and follow wikihow articles to do things. Read the instruction manuals for your appliances, even if you know exactly how it works. Read all signs, even if you're not doing the thing it pertains to. Use directions instead of a live map on your GPS. I'm talking about the "turn left onto xyz street, drive 3.5km, turn right onto abc road" instead of following the little arrow or car on a live road map. Read things, make sure you understand it, and if you don't figure it out with whatever aid you need.

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bambi-intersensory · 1 year ago

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Week 9 - Projects and Class Discussions

Tuesday

We watched more presentations and contributed more to class discussions. It's getting down to crunch time so there was less class discussion than normal.

Aubree Penney: A speech showed the chair in the middle.

Elevated audio captioning.

Bench in the middle of the room, 4 artists were to record audio descriptions of artworks that don’t exist. Use language to create non-existent artworks.

Participants sketched and described an imagined work from objective and non objective audio descriptions.

Modulation in the subjective aspect, modulation creates an easier aspect of listening to speech. Mixed sentence length is easier to understand, the objective description created long arduous monotonous sentences that were hard to understand.

Intonation is important as tone matters to hold focus. Stimulus peaks are good for attention.

Song? Interesting way of describing a space. I feel like that's a choice for sure. Definitely kept my attention considering the objective description was so boring. The emotional impact was interesting.

No-Photo2024

Palestine photo’s guerilla art project which used alt text/image descriptions of horrific images from gaza instead of the photo. Graphic and confronting images described to get around the conflict of showing the photo, even though the photo exists.

Interesting example of intersensory translation to create unseen original photos and raise awareness for Gaza.

Thursday

Mentopolis !!! Dropouts accessibility is so GOOD. What a laugh to be able to watch Brennan Lee Mulligan in class, but here we are!

I actually had not used the dropout web application before as I have mainly used the TV and phone apps to watch and listen. The availability of a transcript and adjusting the captioning to the user preferences is a fantastic addition and more websites should be doing this.

DnD has always been such a widely accessible game, and has been getting more and more popularity because of it. I would've loved to have made an intersensory publication involving playing DnD but with the limited time, I didn’t want to make an attempt and do badly!

Visual Music: Len Lye free radicals,

Translating music into video, including lyrics

Vibes? Concentrate on concrete things.

Template for vibes is len lye.

Frame by frame with raw celluloid film created

Less directly translated than oskar fischinger (acmi)

Oskar Fichinger

Key melodic interpretation rather than the entire musical plethora

Frame by frame 100 years ago.

Music creates evocation for people, without the music it creates a lost meaning

An aesthetic language for touch? Sound?

Ryoji Ikeda - Data.matrix

Loud high frequencies and low but no mid

Trying to translate sounds, the strobing makes sense

On and off sounds, sonar whip, and when contrasted to really hard on and off sounds to gentle sounds it accentuates both.

Skeleton dance:

Audio being timed with the animation is so great

I really enjoy these old school animations and its so interesting how the animation is timed with the music, even though I am not sure which came first, the audio composition or the animation!

Iannis xenakis - pithoprakta graphical score

oh my god these pithoprakta scores are insane, the graphical score was actually easier to read than the original score and composition

the audio itself is so haunting and it was really interesting to get the key and hear it a bit before listening to it silently, as you could still hear the sounds and the timing after!

Sonification: accessible oceans

it was cool that they had the explanation of what the sounds and volume of the sounds meant

I would love to see some more examples and projects that used sonification, its something that I feel would be super interesting to explore if I had more time to explore my final project.

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heylorrain · 1 year ago

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I. THE BASICS

Name: Lorrain Morgana

Nickname: Lorra - Meva Lorra ( just Ominis can call her that, means Mine. My Lorra )

Gender: Female

Birth Date: October 31st

Species: Human

Blood Status: Mudblood-Pureblood

Eyes: Green

Hair: Red-Strawberry blonde

II. MAGIC

Wand: Jörmundgander’s Fang 14 1/2 inches, Hard

For a brief period, she relied on a borrowed wand to harness her magical abilities. But soon enough, she realized she could control magic without the aid of a wand and began practicing without it. It was not an easy task, as her articulations, particularly her fingers, were rigid and uncooperative if not guided by a wand's precise movements. She does not posses the ability to see or use ancient magic. Her powers come from the medieval times.

Animagus: Maine Coon cat

Patronus: Eel

Patronus Memory: 1. Summer vacation with her Aunt in Paris.

Boggart: Ominis after The New Years Party

Riddikulus: - ( can’t do it yet :( )

III. Amortentia (What Lorra smells like):

Lavender, Cinammon with honey and oak wood.

(What Lorra smells)

Fresh Icy Mint, old books and rain (Ominis' smell)

IV. PERSONALITY

Intelligent - Lorrain was a quick-witted and ambitious student, proudly representing her house of Slytherin. With an almost photographic memory, she could easily recall every fact and detail from her studies, but there was a gap in her mind where memories of her childhood should be. Perhaps it was due to her intense focus on the present and future, always striving for success. Among her favorite classes were potions and divination.

Go with the flow - She is reminiscent of a capybara, her warm smile always present and her social nature drawing others in. She has an uncanny ability to adjust her energy to match those around her, making everyone feel comfortable and at ease. A good listener, she will always offer sincere and honest advice, telling you what you need to hear rather than what you want to hear. Her sincerity shines through in every interaction, making her a trusted confidant.

Social Anxiety - Despite her natural social demeanor, she occasionally experiences bouts of “unexplained” anxiety. When they do occur, she has discovered that immersing herself in water helps to calm her. The gentle touch against her body and the feeling of being embraced by the element bring a sense of tranquility and clarity to her mind.

Bullies - Despite being a Slytherin, she cannot stand to see others being hurt or mocked by those with cruel intentions. For instance, when "Puffskein Dunkein" was laughed at, she may have joined in on the joke, but if she were to witness him being incessantly teased, pushed, and ridiculed with malice, she would not hesitate to take action. She. will. slap. you.

Mind focus - With fierce determination, Lorrain throws herself into any task or goal she sets her mind to. She pours all of her energy and focus into making sure that her objectives are not only accomplished, but done so with integrity and without causing harm to others. Her unwavering commitment and strong moral compass guide her towards success.

Love language - Lorrain is a master of all five love languages, adapting to the people she's with. If she knows you appreciate a home-cooked meal when you're feeling down, she'll whip one up to lift your spirits. If she senses that Ominis has had a rough day, her love pours out in all five languages simultaneously, determined to make her man feel loved and cherished. She doesn't have a favorite among the five, cherishing each one as it is demonstrated to her by others. To Lorrain, love is not just words or actions, but an intricate dance of understanding and connection between two souls.

Self consciousness: She exudes confidence as she playfully flirts with Ominis in public. She knows her worth, both in terms of relationships and friendships. Despite this, she also possesses a strong sense of self-control and can contain herself when faced with rudeness. She is capable of counting to five Mississippis in order to maintain composure, but if the person persists she will not hesitate to retaliate with clever remarks that leave them silenced. Her words are her weapon, and she wields them with precision and grace, never resorting to rudeness herself… and if they continue: Slap.

Hair: Whenever she is learning something new, or challenging, she’ll braid her hair. So if you think she’s up to something, check for braids!.

V. HOGWARTS INFORMATION

Class Proficiency:

Astronomy: ★★★★★

Charms: ★★★☆☆

DADA: ★★★★★

Divination: ★★★★★

Flying: ★★★★★★★★

Herbology: ☆☆☆☆☆

History of Magic: ★★☆☆☆

Magical Theory: ★★★★☆

Potions: ★★★★★★★★★★

Transfiguration: ★★★★☆

Favorite Teacher: Matilda Weasley & Professor Sharp.

Least Favorite Teacher: Professor Cuthbert Binns. Enough said.

Quidditch position: beater

👉 if you made it this far... Thank you 🫰 and have a cookie 🍪

#hogwarts legacy #slytherin #hogwarts legacy fanart #ominis gaunt #ominis gaunt fanart #hogwarts legacy mc #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #lorrain morgana #garreth weasley #heylorrainart

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the-firebird69 · 2 years ago

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Bradley GT Street Drive

youtube

The guy is hauling ass and it's hard to tell he's going by objects and we calculated how fast somebody asked him after no we did he said about 80 and it wasn't looking at the speedo and he said no you don't have 120 and said wow and it's probably GT1 it's the red one and really it's a stock VW motor with 90 horsepower is really really fast it does the job too and a sunset boy that's not really a Volkswagen motor the guy started laughing and said I'm really kind of cruising around aren't I and he's sipping around and whizzing around corners and blasting into traffic on the off ramps on the on ramps without even slowing he had decent tires not really good tires and he says wow that's really fast just looking at the table is going I'm moving it. And he got back to his house and he said the space seats and he was up to stuff and he said he and his dad designed the Briggs and Stratton electric car and his dad was in trouble and we don't know what's going on and he said something about above him and you look real serious and he should be that's good my son needs that and you need that it's good and healthy things are going on around here now people are changing their tune and they're getting with it this is how it rides and it was a very old chassis these Volkswagens were from the '70s they discontinued them and I said I think 71 and we think it was 1972 a long time ago and it was the '80s and '90s when they were using these chassis a lot of these Volkswagens were beat the hell but they still really fly I mean this I was very happy and excited I said first he made the Concord and now this car and I know it was four and it's for driving inside spaceships with electric and and for talking to people the guy flipped out he said this is evil as hell he's putting a sports car up there so he can go fast and get places and he started moving it okay he was working on it and he heard your stuff and said this is Rich and it's scary as hell and he's a kid and he's worried about his mom and dad suddenly he started to weep and he said he can't see his brother he just pushed to it and we're not doing anything so torturing the little bugger and he's young for his race he was horrified but then you informed him that you're a giant they have tons of testosterone and it's not as hard as it looks it's a little hard though and then he got sad and said everyone was getting hurt and it's true but still kind of tortured and he's upset but he's got a great car he says it's a classic and you shouldn't change it because when ours comes out and and he can tell his friends and everybody should know you got to keep your car original it's going to be worth millions if not more dollars and maybe billions it's going to be a huge collector's item because what's going to happen is GT1 and GT2 and that's what they are the Grand touring cars are going to their C-Class they're going to become world famous and become the foundation for the Vista fresh company which is going to be global they'll have a slightly different name and it's just going to be translated into a different language do that it's courtesy and he says wow and it's going to become massively famous because of the cars we have ready and because of the Bradley GT2 the one that he redesigned is going to be the GT3 which is the mega car everybody wants to go 6,000 miles an hour so people are very interested and now they're starting to remember and our kit is very sophisticated and our people are very smart and wise and quick and we're going on this down in Mexico and Savage opress wants to speak to it

Thor Freya

The things here a little bit gross and they're very gross and these people are sick and they're not very bright and they're making it very hard on someone who has extremely difficult life and we don't really like it but that's the way they are. And we're working very hard and diligently to fix it and he says he grew up with him they're having a lot of problems and it's getting tough but it's going to stick it out and yes the car is extremely fast the one that we're putting out with the 1000 horsepower motor that you can get with one of the chassis that we offer or that you can find out there is about 4,500 miles an hour with the fins and we don't provide the fin system they're not legal. It's not enough time to explain how you drive these is it going to be a course offered

Savage opress

Her son and daughter talking about cops if you're going very fast usually they just let you go and they bring the helicopter and see where you go

Olympus

#Youtube

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morlock-holmes · 2 years ago

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I read a bunch of other replies to this and I have to say, I find myself a bit irritated with my erstwhile allies here, because of this focus on the disabled which kind of rubs me the wrong way in the same way as people who explain that global warming is bad because it will have bad effects on the global south. Buddy! It's gonna have bad effects on everybody! Same with this language of parasitism. Honestly if you want to explain that landlords are parasites because they exploit the fear of homelessness to avoid their duties and exploit their tenants, well, fine. Hits a little close to home because I have landlords in the family but whatever.

The problem is this kind of thing:

"except that people in general can't do it "on a whim", only a small class of wealthy people are able to choose to consume without contributing."

Yeah that class of wealthy people who consume without contributing is called "Everybody who is retired".

There's so much wrong with this I'm genuinely not sure how to order my problems with it.

For one thing, this kind of thing is exactly what makes your boss a force of terror. In a society where able-bodied people must be discouraged from avoiding work, your boss can ask, "So, are you going to work that unpaid overtime for me, or are you one of those parasites who refuses to work despite being able-bodied? Because you know what happens to parasites in this society, right?"

And yes, landlords leverage a very similar kind of terror.

For another thing, this just isn't how consumption works in a capitalist society.

Say I work at a carwash, and I earn $20, and I go spend $5 on a happy hour beer at my favorite restaurant. The next day, my dad dies and I inherit a huge estate that makes me a millionaire. I go back to that restaurant and spend $500 on a steak dinner and a glass of wine. I'm consuming more and working less, but the restaurant is better off.

I know people are going to misinterpret this and say I think a rising tide lifts all boats but I am not saying that at all.

I'm saying that in our economic system consumption cannot be so easily separated from contribution.

Thirdly, this concept of parasitism... Okay, who is more of a parasite than a person who doesn't work but still spends money? Well... Someone who doesn't work and spends someone else's money. By which I mean anybody on the dole. Apparently the tories over in jolly old England have been eagerly making this point lately.

The bad thing is there are plenty of sympathetic people who are "able-bodied and choose to consume instead of contributing" who we don't want to compare to landlords or trust-fund babies but who do, in fact, just spend money without working.

So the person who retires at 60 is fine but the person who retires at 50 is a parasite... Or was it the person who retires at 70 is fine and the person who retires at 60 is a parasite?

Anyway, in order to separate the good people who consume without laboring from the bad people who consume without laboring you introduce more and more value judgements into the language in an attempt to make this whole kind of language make sense, so it is, for example, able-bodied people who don't work because they are lazy who are the parasites, rather than able-bodied people who don't work.

Again, If this stuff catches on, that gives the boss way more leverage over you. Because if you quit, the question isn't something objective, it has become whether or not you quit because you are lazy.

Are you the kind of person who morally deserves to quit your job? Can you prove to the welfare board that you aren't just quitting because you're lazy?

I don't think I have a problem with the word parasite, but I do have ENORMOUS problems with this particular ideology of productive labor being parasitized by people who only consume rather than produce. Yes, this will obviously be used against disabled people but it will also obviously be used against everyone aside from the elite cadre empowered to decide who is "lazy" and who isn't.

I had a hallucinatory moment where I almost asked how a communist could believe in this kind of thing but then I remembered how most communist countries were actually run and it became a silly question.

Landlords aren't so atrociously bad because our society fails to punish lazy parasites; landlords seem like monsters because our society already zealously punishes parasites and it's the landlord and the boss who can inflict the punishment we mete out to the parasites, slackers and moochers who think that they should be able to simply consume housing and money without contributing something in return.

i'm going to be honest i think a lot of the people who argue that calling landlords parasites is "ableist" are not disabled themselves and instead are just fully able bodied people who live off their rich parents and want to believe that the way in which they consume the labor of others while doing none themselves is somehow fundamentally different than the way a landlord or a business owner does. that's the real reason the word "parasite" wounds them so, it reminds them that there really isn't that big a difference. and they try to camouflage this anxiety as being about their concern for disabled people, which is ultimately much, much more insulting to disabled people than calling a non-disabled landlord a "parasite" could ever be.

#This entire thought process is poison #and must be vigorously rejected #attempts to redeem it by saying you're only talking about the bad people who don't work #simply make things worse

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bao3bei4 · 4 years ago

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fan language: the victorian imaginary and cnovel fandom

there’s this pinterest image i’ve seen circulating a lot in the past year i’ve been on fandom social media. it’s a drawn infographic of a, i guess, asian-looking woman holding a fan in different places relative to her face to show what the graphic helpfully calls “the language of the fan.”

people like sharing it. they like thinking about what nefarious ancient chinese hanky code shenanigans their favorite fan-toting character might get up to⁠—accidentally or on purpose. and what’s the problem with that?

the problem is that fan language isn’t chinese. it’s victorian. and even then, it’s not really quite victorian at all.

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fans served a primarily utilitarian purpose throughout chinese history. of course, most of the surviving fans we see⁠—and the types of fans we tend to care about⁠—are closer to art pieces. but realistically speaking, the majority of fans were made of cheaper material for more mundane purposes. in china, just like all around the world, people fanned themselves. it got hot!

so here’s a big tipoff. it would be very difficult to use a fan if you had an elaborate language centered around fanning yourself.

you might argue that fine, everyday working people didn’t have a fan language. but wealthy people might have had one. the problem we encounter here is that fans weren’t really gendered. (caveat here that certain types of fans were more popular with women. however, those tended to be the round silk fans, ones that bear no resemblance to the folding fans in the graphic). no disrespect to the gnc old man fuckers in the crowd, but this language isn’t quite masc enough for a tool that someone’s dad might regularly use.

folding fans, we know, reached europe in the 17th century and gained immense popularity in the 18th. it was there that fans began to take on a gendered quality. ariel beaujot describes in their 2012 victorian fashion accessories how middle class women, in the midst of a top shortage, found themselves clutching fans in hopes of securing a husband.

she quotes an article from the illustrated london news, suggesting “women ‘not only’ used fans to ‘move the air and cool themselves but also to express their sentiments.’” general wisdom was that the movement of the fan was sufficiently expressive that it augmented a woman’s displays of emotion. and of course, the more english audiences became aware that it might do so, the more they might use their fans purposefully in that way.

notice, however, that this is no more codified than body language in general is. it turns out that “the language of the fan” was actually created by fan manufacturers at the turn of the 20th century⁠—hundreds of years after their arrival⁠ in europe—to sell more fans. i’m not even kidding right now. the story goes that it was louis duvelleroy of the maison duvelleroy who decided to include pamphlets on the language with each fan sold.

interestingly enough, beaujot suggests that it didn’t really matter what each particular fan sign meant. gentlemen could tell when they were being flirted with. as it happens, meaningful eye contact and a light flutter near the face may be a lingua franca.

so it seems then, the language of the fan is merely part of this victorian imaginary we collectively have today, which in turn itself was itself captivated by china.

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victorian references come up perhaps unexpectedly often in cnovel fandom, most often with regards to modesty.

it’s a bit of an awkward reference considering that chinese traditional fashion⁠—and the ambiguous time periods in which these novels are set⁠—far predate victorian england. it is even more awkward considering that victoria and her covered ankles did um. imperialize china.

but nonetheless, it is common. and to make a point about how ubiquitous it is, here is a link to the twitter search for “sqq victorian.” sqq is the fandom abbreviation for shen qingqiu, the main character of the scum villain’s self-saving system, by the way.

this is an awful lot of results for a search involving a chinese man who spends the entire novel in either real modern-day china or fantasy ancient china. that’s all i’m going to say on the matter, without referencing any specific tweet.

i think people are aware of the anachronism. and i think they don’t mind. even the most cursory research reveals that fan language is european and a revisionist fantasy. wikipedia can tell us this⁠—i checked!

but it doesn’t matter to me whether people are trying to make an internally consistent canon compliant claim, or whether they’re just free associating between fan facts they know. it is, instead, more interesting to me that people consistently refer to this particular bit of history. and that’s what i want to talk about today⁠—the relationship of fandom today to this two hundred odd year span of time in england (roughly stuart to victorian times) and england in that time period to its contemporaneous china.

things will slip a little here. victorian has expanded in timeframe, if only because random guys posting online do not care overly much for respect for the intricacies of british history. china has expanded in geographic location, if only because the english of the time themselves conflated china with all of asia.

in addition, note that i am critiquing a certain perspective on the topic. this is why i write about fan as white here⁠—not because all fans are white⁠—but because the tendencies i’m examining have a clear historical antecedent in whiteness that shapes how white fans encounter these novels.

i’m sure some fans of color participate in these practices. however i don’t really care about that. they are not its main perpetrators nor its main beneficiaries. so personally i am minding my own business on that front.

it’s instead important to me to illuminate the linkage between white as subject and chinese as object in history and in the present that i do argue that fannish products today are built upon.

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it’s not radical, or even new at all, for white audiences to consume⁠—or create their own versions of⁠—chinese art en masse. in many ways the white creators who appear to owe their whole style and aesthetic to their asian peers in turn are just the new chinoiserie.

this is not to say that white people can’t create asian-inspired art. but rather, i am asking you to sit with the discomfort that you may not like the artistic company you keep in the broader view of history, and to consider together what is to be done about that.

now, when i say the new chinoiserie, i first want to establish what the original one is. chinoiserie was a european artistic movement that appeared coincident with the rise in popularity of folding fans that i described above. this is not by coincidence; the european demand for asian imports and the eventual production of lookalikes is the movement itself. so: when we talk about fans, when we talk about china (porcelain), when we talk about tea in england⁠—we are talking about the legacy of chinoiserie.

there are a couple things i want to note here. while english people as a whole had a very tenuous knowledge of what china might be, their appetites for chinoiserie were roughly coincident with national relations with china. as the relationship between england and china moved from trade to out-and-out wars, chinoiserie declined in popularity until china had been safely subjugated once more by the end of the 19th century.

the second thing i want to note on the subject that contrary to what one might think at first, the appeal of chinoiserie was not that it was foreign. eugenia zuroski’s 2013 taste for china examines 18th century english literature and its descriptions of the according material culture with the lens that chinese imports might be formative to english identity, rather than antithetical to it.

beyond that bare thesis, i think it’s also worthwhile to extend her insight that material objects become animated by the literary viewpoints on them. this is true, both in a limited general sense as well as in the sense that english thinkers of the time self-consciously articulated this viewpoint. consider the quote from the illustrated london news above⁠—your fan, that object, says something about you. and not only that, but the objects you surround yourself with ought to.

it’s a bit circular, the idea that written material says that you should allow written material to shape your understanding of physical objects. but it’s both 1) what happened, and 2) integral, i think, to integrating a fannish perspective into the topic.

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japanning is the name for the popular imitative lacquering that english craftspeople developed in domestic response to the demand for lacquerware imports. in the eighteenth century, japanning became an artform especially suited for young women. manuals were published on the subject, urging young women to learn how to paint furniture and other surfaces, encouraging them to rework the designs provided in the text.

it was considered a beneficial activity for them; zuroski describes how it was “associated with commerce and connoisseurship, practical skill and aesthetic judgment.” a skillful japanner, rather than simply obscuring what lay underneath the lacquer, displayed their superior judgment in how they chose to arrange these new canonical figures and effects in a tasteful way to bring out the best qualities of them.

zuroski quotes the first english-language manual on the subject, written in 1688, which explains how japanning allows one to:

alter and correct, take out a piece from one, add a fragment to the next, and make an entire garment compleat in all its parts, though tis wrought out of never so many disagreeing patterns.

this language evokes a very different, very modern practice. it is this english reworking of an asian artform that i think the parallels are most obvious.

white people, through their artistic investment in chinese material objects and aesthetics, integrated them into their own subjectivity. these practices came to say something about the people who participated in them, in a way that had little to do with the country itself. their relationship changed from being a “consumer” of chinese objects to becoming the proprietor of these new aesthetic signifiers.

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i want to talk about this through a few pairs of tensions on the subject that i think characterize common attitudes then and now.

first, consider the relationship between the self and the other: the chinese object as something that is very familiar to you, speaking to something about your own self vs. the chinese object as something that is fundamentally different from you and unknowable to you.

consider: [insert character name] is just like me. he would no doubt like the same things i like, consume the same cultural products. we are the same in some meaningful way vs. the fast standard fic disclaimer that “i tried my best when writing this fic, but i’m a english-speaking westerner, and i’m just writing this for fun so...... [excuses and alterations the person has chosen to make in this light],” going hand-in-hand with a preoccupation with authenticity or even overreliance on the unpaid labor of chinese friends and acquaintances.

consider: hugh honour when he quotes a man from the 1640s claiming “chinoiserie of this even more hybrid kind had become so far removed from genuine Chinese tradition that it was exported from India to China as a novelty to the Chinese themselves”

these tensions coexist, and look how they have been resolved.

second, consider what we vest in objects themselves: beaujot explains how the fan became a sexualized, coquettish object in the hands of a british woman, but was used to great effect in gilbert and sullivan’s 1885 mikado to demonstrate the docility of asian women.

consider: these characters became expressions of your sexual desires and fetishes, even as their 5’10 actors themselves are emasculated.

what is liberating for one necessitates the subjugation and fetishization of the other.

third, consider reactions to the practice: enjoyment of chinese objects as a sign of your cosmopolitan palate vs “so what’s the hype about those ancient chinese gays” pop culture explainers that addressed the unconvinced mainstream.

consider: zuroski describes how both english consumers purchased china in droves, and contemporary publications reported on them. how:

It was in the pages of these papers that the growing popularity of Chinese things in the early eighteenth century acquired the reputation of a “craze”; they portrayed china fanatics as flawed, fragile, and unreliable characters, and frequently cast chinoiserie itself in the same light.

referenda on fannish behavior serve as referenda on the objects of their devotion, and vice versa. as the difference between identity and fetish collapses, they come to be treated as one and the same by not just participants but their observers.

at what point does mxtx fic cease to be chinese?

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finally, it seems readily apparent that attitudes towards chinese objects may in fact have something to do with attitudes about china as a country. i do not want to suggest that these literary concerns are primarily motivated and begot by forces entirely divorced from the real mechanics of power.

here, i want to bring in edward said, and his 1993 culture and imperialism. there, he explains how power and legitimacy go hand in hand. one is direct, and one is purely cultural. he originally wrote this in response to the outsize impact that british novelists have had in the maintenance of empire and throughout decolonization. literature, he argues, gives rise to powerful narratives that constrain our ability to think outside of them.

there’s a little bit of an inversion at play here. these are chinese novels, actually. but they’re being transformed by white narratives and artists. and just as i think the form of the novel is important to said’s critique, i think there’s something to be said about the form that fic takes and how it legitimates itself.

bound up in fandom is the idea that you have a right to create and transform as you please. it is a nice idea, but it is one that is directed towards a certain kind of asymmetry. that is, one where the author has all the power. this is the narrative we hear a lot in the history of fandom⁠—litigious authors and plucky fans, fanspaces always under attack from corporate sanitization.

meanwhile, said builds upon raymond schwab’s narrative of cultural exchange between european writers and cultural products outside the imperial core. said explains that fundamental to these two great borrowings (from greek classics and, in the so-called “oriental renaissance” of the late 18th, early 19th centuries from “india, china, japan, persia, and islam”) is asymmetry.

he had argued prior, in orientalism, that any “cultural exchange” between “partners conscious of inequality” always results in the suffering of the people. and here, he describes how “texts by dead people were read, appreciated, and appropriated” without the presence of any actual living people in that tradition.

i will not understate that there is a certain economic dynamic complicating this particular fannish asymmetry. mxtx has profited materially from the success of her works, most fans will not. also secondly, mxtx is um. not dead. LMAO.

but first, the international dynamic of extraction that said described is still present. i do not want to get overly into white attitudes towards china in this post, because i am already thoroughly derailed, but i do believe that they structure how white cnovel fandom encounters this texts.

at any rate, any profit she receives is overwhelmingly due to her domestic popularity, not her international popularity. (i say this because many of her international fans have never given her a cent. in fact, most of them have no real way to.) and moreover, as we talk about the structure of english-language fandom, what does it mean to create chinese cultural products without chinese people?

as white people take ownership over their versions of stories, do we lose something? what narratives about engagement with cnovels might exist outside of the form of classic fandom?

i think a lot of people get the relationship between ideas (the superstructure) and production (the base) confused. oftentimes they will lob in response to criticism, that look! this fic, this fandom, these people are so niche, and so underrepresented in mainstream culture, that their effects are marginal. i am not arguing that anyone’s cql fic causes imperialism. (unless you’re really annoying. then it’s anyone’s game)

i’m instead arguing something a little bit different. i think, given similar inputs, you tend to get similar outputs. i think we live in the world that imperialism built, and we have clear historical predecessors in terms of white appetites for creating, consuming, and transforming chinese objects.

we have already seen, in the case of the fan language meme that began this post, that sometimes we even prefer this white chinoiserie. after all, isn’t it beautiful, too?

i want to bring discomfort to this topic. i want to reject the paradigm of white subject and chinese object; in fact, here in this essay, i have tried to reverse it.

if you are taken aback by the comparisons i make here, how can you make meaningful changes to your fannish practice to address it?

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some concluding thoughts on the matter, because i don’t like being misunderstood!

i am not claiming white fans cannot create fanworks of cnovels or be inspired by asian art or artists. this essay is meant to elaborate on the historical connection between victorian england and cnovel characters and fandom that others have already popularized.

i don’t think people who make victorian jokes are inherently bad or racist. i am encouraging people to think about why we might make them and/or share them

the connections here are meant to be more provocative than strictly literal. (e.g. i don’t literally think writing fanfic is a 1-1 descendant of japanning). these connections are instead meant to 1) make visible the baggage that fans of color often approach fandom with and 2) recontextualize and defamiliarize fannish practice for the purposes of honest critique

please don’t turn this post into being about other different kinds of discourse, or into something that only one “kind” of fan does. please take my words at face value and consider them in good faith. i would really appreciate that.

please feel free to ask me to clarify any statements or supply more in-depth sources :)

#x #-__- another fandom essay sorry

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lovelybarnes · 4 years ago

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baby blue- b. barnes

pairings: bucky barnes x reader, tony stark bruce banner, steve rogers, sam wilson warnings: child bucky, language, this is long. why is this so long about: requested by @cherry-season (apparently can't tag you)! bucky turns into a baby/toddler and is clingy a/n: okay so i know virtually nothing about three-year-olds. can you tell? thank you so much for requesting!! I had so much fun writing this <333

[@tylard-blog1]

bucky’s day wasn’t particularly fantastic to begin with.

he was already exhausted when he woke up in the early lights of the morning, his nightmares had kept him up all night-- which you theorized was due to the mission the day before that took place in one of the same hydra bases bucky had been held in. you had frowned when you realized it the day of, turning your attention to bucky and making sure he was okay with it because if he wasn’t, you would make sure someone else took care of it. he had insisted it was fine, even though the next night proved him wrong. you had done what you could, running your fingers through his hair and humming lightly until you fell asleep and he refused to wake you up, resigning himself to a sleepless night.

his morning started with his flesh arm reaching out to feel your side of the bed, hoping to find your soft, warm skin to pull you closer, but instead being met with the unkind sheets that missed the gentleness of your body. he had frowned when he realized you had already left for a meeting with some important hotshot in space with carol (you couldn’t find a better excuse to go get breakfast at your favorite alien restaurant with your favorite aliens) and wouldn’t be back for a solid few hours too long. groaning, and with no real reason to stay in bed for any longer without the excuse of getting to feel you for a few more hours, he dragged himself out of bed.

it didn’t get much better from there, because he was greeted with the sight of sam eating the last bowl of the last box of cereal in the whole damn tower because everyone rejected to go grocery shopping. since bucky refused to eat any of the frozen breakfasts tony loved so much and the stark kid swore were “the best thing ever,” he grunted at sam and walked away without eating, knowing he’d regret it later when his stomach would growl and you would immediately know he skipped breakfast.

for some unknown reason, tony had found out about bucky’s lack of things to do, and with a few winks and manipulative large-worded engineering phrases, convinced him to join him in the lab, which bucky had only really been able to see through the clear glass that separated the lab from the rest of the tower, and from the occasions where he would take food and drinks to you while you locked yourself away inside, building something alongside tony.

being inside, so close to the various machines and objects bucky cant begin to figure out the purpose of, his memories of being in school and at the top of his math and engineering classes bubble to the surface, filling him with the pride he remembers having every day at school. the thought that he could probably understand everything if you or tony explained it to him passes through his mind and urges him to ask tony to do just that, but tony beats him before he can get the chance.

bruce is eyeing them wearily from the other side of the lab, attention mostly on the test tubes in front of him. he gives bucky a smile when he comes in, but seems to ignore him for the most part until tony shows bucky to bruce’s work station, pointing out a blue liquid in a test tube marked TESTING. bruce’s neck snaps to them when tony open his big mouth, “you know, y/n was actually supposed to test something out for me today,” tony begins innocently, a suggestion laced in his words that bucky catches but decides to ignore because of the high he feels from understanding the equations scribbled on the clear glass, “do you know where she is?”

bucky narrows his eyes at him, then looks up at the clock, realizing it’s still a while before you get back, “not even on earth,” he recipes blandly, slyly sneaking a glance at the liquid for any indications of what it could be.

tony sighs dramatically, his shoulders sagging, “oh no, how do i test this now?” bruce shoots tony a warning glance that is blatantly ignored.

bucky’s shrugging before he can help it, the reminder that since you were going to do it, what could be the harm if he did? “i could do it.”

tony claps, “great!” he gestures to a door behind him, “please go in there to sign non-disclosure agreements and wash your hands.”

bucky’s shoved inside before he can fully understand the implications of his stupid offer.

the thought of asking the basic questions he should have asked before he agreed to test an unidentified liquid comes to bucky nearly an hour later, when the small vial of weird blue liquid sits in front of him, waiting to be drunk. tony and bruce sit in chairs a couple of feet away, clipboards in both of their hands, and interested expressions settled on their features.

“what does this do again?” he asks, squinting at the vial that he doesn’t notice tony isn’t looking at, furrowing his eyebrows when tony waves him off, “something super smart. no side effects or anything.” bucky’s eyes flit down to the little vial again, before they nearly bug out of his head at the humongous laser that is rolled into the room, “what the hell is that.”

“ah,” tony grins, bouncing from his seat to stand next to his invention proudly, “this is what you’re testing out.” bucky cocks his head at the man, “i thought i was drinking blue water. y/n was going to drink blue water.” tony shakes his head, adjusting some dials on the machine, “yeah, no, it was this. pretty sure i told you.”

“you didn’t-” bruce is looking at tony in concern, about to tell him to slow down so bucky has a chance to think all this through again and maybe ask if there is any chance the laser will melt him, when tony clicks a large red button and a bright white light clouds bucky’s vision just as he sees the clock on the exact same time he saw an hour ago, realizing the clock in the billion-dollar lab is broken, and you’re probably getting home any second.

“tony!” he hears bruce yell before his vision goes dark.

it’s only a second until he can pry open his eyes again, a hand curling into a fist, ready to pound stark into tomorrow when he can suddenly feel the nails of his hand digging into his palm. the surprising feeling of it where his vibranium arm should be forces him to look down at a small arm, fully skin and thin. he looks around, noticing his surroundings suddenly have grown very large around him, and the sound of his voice is higher when he tries to speak again.

“what the f-” he mumbles, cutting himself off when a sudden memory of his ma yelling at him to wash his mouth out if he wants to talk like that floods his mind, and he stares down at himself, eyebrows furrowing when he spots his short stature and the tiny hands and feet that look up at him. realization floods him like a wave, raising his chin at the two, tall, gobsmacked men in front of. “was that supposed to happen?” bruce asks quietly, nodding slowly when tony shakes his head, “no.”

there’s a light knock at the door, your hand pushing it open before anyone can stop you, and your tired face peeks in, a glowing smiling adorning your face and your eyes searching for your boyfriend, “hey, do you guys know where bucky is-” your voice cuts through the stunned silence, pausing when you catch the little boy’s eye. at first, you stare at him, your eyebrows pulling together as you get a good look at the familiar cerulean of his eyes and scan the clothing you’d seen on bucky before. for a second, everything is silent, bucky’s eyes are wide and staring as yours bore into them, searching for something you’re nearly touching until you gasp, “bucky?” you choke, reaching for him when he nods, his legs already trying to reach you as fast as they possibly can but they buckle. bucky realizes just then how old he must be now. “oh, baby,” you murmur, gathering him up in your arms before he can fall to the hard ground of the lab. “what the hell did you idiots do to my boyfriend?” you demand, turning to the two scientists who are going over tony’s notes.

bruce glances at tony, tilting his head at him as if to say him. you roll your eyes, not having any more information than when you asked, “tony?” you growl, walking over to the man, not missing the way little bucky’s hand grabs onto your shirt.

“it didn’t- that wasn’t supposed to happen,” tony defends weakly, a lazy shrug pulling at his shoulders. your eyes flash with velvet red, and, without moving a finger, tony’s pulled in front of you, wrapped in red swirls bucky can’t help but gawk at.

“fix it.” you order. tony nods, pursing his lips, “we’ll do that.” bruce looks a little taken aback, looking up from tony’s scribbles and equations. “i don’t think it’ll last more than a day,” he offers helpfully, “whatever it was tony was trying to do wasn’t either.”

bucky’s eyes start to droop, which he assumes is an effect of the sleepless night he just had on his infant body, something that usually wouldn’t affect him in his one-hundred-and-six-year-old self. he hums when he realizes the irony, leaning his head against the welcoming crook of your neck and catching your attention. you turn to him for a moment, softening a little before turning back to tony and glaring at him, “fix it.”

steve catches you when you walk out of the lab, his eyes nearly bugging out of his head when he spots the toddler in your arms, “holy shit, that looks exactly like bucky,” he breathes, scanning the dark mussed-up hair and stepping back when bucky opens his eyes. from next to him, sam looks from bucky to you, “did you two have a kid and not tell anyone, because this-”

“is bucky. that’s bucky.” you interrupt, looking at the toddler, “tony messed up with something and… this happened, i don’t completely… bucky’s a baby.”

steve raises an eyebrow, squinting at his best friend, “ha,” he laughs, “wow, he looks exactly like his pictures. he must be about three years old.” bucky blinks at him. “his ma said he was chatting up a storm at that age, though,” steve informs, looking back up at you. sam grins, “has he said anything? i kinda want to hear if he still sounds old.” bucky frowns at him, his pout deepening when sam bursts into laughter, “his grumpy face is the same!”

you look at your boyfriend, tilting your head and smiling a little when you realize he’s right, “you’re cute,” you coo now that you get a good look at him, “you’re so cute,” you murmur, poking his nose with your finger. bucky can’t help the blush that comes to his cheeks. but he slaps away sam’s fingers, scowling at him, “no.” he argues, “no.”

sam frowns, “no old man voice.”

“i hate you,” bucky says to sam, and you laugh, “i think we should leave for now. i need to figure out what will make three-year-old bucky not as grumpy.” sam looks at bucky’s furrowed brows and the same two little lines between them, his eyes flickering back up to yours, “i think that may just be a bucky thing.”

you bring bucky to the living room, sitting him down at the edge of the couch and crouching in front of him, watching him and his little crossed arms, bottom lip jutted out against his own will. bucky isn’t used to the emotional control of a child who’s three and can’t control the frustration that’s coursing through him at the moment. the only thing he knows for sure is that he doesn’t want you to leave him again.

“bucky?” you start, looking deep into the wide blue eyes that let you know it is bucky you’re speaking to. “what do you want to do? are you hungry? d’you want to sleep?” bucky shakes his head stubbornly at you, “i want tony to fix this.”

you sigh, “i know, baby. i do too, but until he finds a cure to this, you’re gonna stay small for a couple more hours.” he pouts at that, and you smooth your thumb over his cheek, “no pouting. we can do whatever you want, buck.”

just as he’s about to reject any idea you have, his stomach rumbles loudly, directing your attention to the arms that guiltily cover up his middle. “bucky... did you eat breakfast today?” you query, a lecturing tone sneaking into your words. “sam ate my cereal,” bucky grumbles, crossing his arms.

“bucky!” you exclaim, standing up to turn to the kitchen, “that’s no excuse. i told you you needed to eat--” you’re barely three steps into the kitchen when you hear the pattering of his feet towards you, grubby hands pawing at your legs.

“don’t leave,” he whines, hugging your ankles and sitting down on the floor, “you left all morning,” he mumbles, smushing his cheeks against your calf.

“i’m sorry,” you apologize, bending over to brush away the hair that falls over his eyes. “c’mere,” you murmur, reaching down to pick him up again and bounce him on your hip while you head to the kitchen. “what do you want to eat?” bucky thinks about it for a minute, before smiling, “i want pizza and ice cream.” you frown at him, “i don’t think three-year-olds can eat that. actually, i don’t think anyone should.”

after consulting google on what three-year-olds should eat, you have bucky’s head resting on your shoulder, refusing to let you put him down even as you made him the mac and cheese he had agreed to, still a little upset over the fact you wouldn’t let him eat all the other things he wanted. the only time he let you not carry him was when he was eating, still insisting you sit right next to him to watch as he smeared cheese all over tony’s expensive table.

“okay,” you whisper breathlessly after watching him eat his third bowl of the meal, “i think that’s good.” you shove the dirty dishes in the sink, washing bucky’s hands and wiping at him cheeks with a warm cloth to get the mess he managed to create off. “did you forget how to eat?” you wonder aloud when you finally fnish cleaning him up, watching his small shoulders shrug.

“what do you want to do now? anything you want,” you propose.

“i want you,” he says, reaching his stubby arms out, “cuddles. ‘m sleepy,” he yawns, making grabby hands at you when you take too long to pick him up. “bucky,” you chuckle, complying with him and bringing him into your chest, where he leans his head on your shoulder. “you sure you don’t want to play or something? you don’t want to…” you trail off, trying to think of what three-year-olds do, “walk or read or something?”

bucky grunts in your ear, his eyelids already closing again, “cuddles,” he repeats, balling your shirt up in his little hands.

“okay,” you sigh, bouncing him gently while you walk to your shared bedroom. you pick up a stuffed animal you brought for bucky from one of your most recent missions, “did you sleep last night? is that why you’re so tired?” bucky hums, cuddling further into your chest when you lay down with him on top of you. you hand him the little dog plush, pressing a kiss to his head when he takes the gift, hugging it with you. “honey, i’m sorry,” you frown, gently threading your fingers through his short hair, humming the same song bucky sings to you when you can’t get to sleep. it doesn’t take long to lull him into the calmness of rest.

you only wake up when the weight on you is suddenly multiplied, completely taking your breath away, “bucky!-” you exclaim, rolling from underneath him to meet his closed eyes. you shake your head with a light laugh, drawing a strand of hair behind his ear before you press your lips to his cheeks, snuggling in with him again, “sweet dreams, darling,” you murmur, placing the stuffed animal he dropped on your dresser.

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kaidenya · 4 years ago

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Getting Caught ✧ MHA

Description: Headcanons for getting caught in a intimate moment with Hitoshi Shinso, Tenya Iida, Mirio Togata, & Tomura Shigaraki

WARNING: NSFW, suggestive content NOTE: This is a repost of an old SHITPOST headcanon I had on my previous account so if this looks familiar I hope you enjoy it the second time around!

“Nobody will know...”

Shinso

Shinso would go to his grave claiming that you were to blame for this situation

But in all honesty, he had been allowing things to build for far too long

You two weren’t necessarily a secret, but most people just assumed you were bEsT fRiEnDs 🥴

It was an honest misunderstanding

You had decided to keep physical contact to a minimum after an unfortunate attempt at holding his hand left you believing he didn’t enjoy any forms of PDA.

Shinso had just assumed the same about you.

However, as the two of you grew more serious, you found it more difficult to keep your hands to yourself

It just so happened your boyfriend had been working extremely hard in the hero course and it s h o w e d

You had found yourself admiring his changing physique and in turn, found you weren’t the only one admiring your boyfriend.

You weren’t necessarily jealous— you trusted him more than anything, but he tended to be socially constipated

And nobody seemed to know about you. Thus giving the other interested parties an unintentional greenlight to flirt with him. And there was one girl that had stood out among the sea of suitors.

Each time you saw the second-year girl perch next to Shinso it made your skin crawl, but no lines had been crossed.

Until they were.

Your knuckles were gripping the strap of your bag so tightly it ached when you made your way to where your boyfriend was perched outside

The second-year didn’t even acknowledge you as she continued her flirtatious ways and you don’t resist the urge to roll your eyes as you settle into the place next to him.

He had flashes you a lazy smile before focusing back on his phone screen.

Then her hand landed on his upper thigh

Let me tell you: sleepy boy was shocked when she touched him, but he was EVEN MORE SHOCKED when you took her by the wrist and tossed her hand to the side

You waste no time threading your fingers with his, rising to your feet and all but hauling him from his seat

His amusement only grew as he realized just how jealous you had gotten, a smirk forming over his lips as he set to teasing you

‘What’s the matter, kitty? You don’t like anyone touching daddy?’

NO, YOU DO NOT

You have no idea how you ended up on your knees in a supply closet??

Shinso is feeling very sure of himself above you, using the hand that was gripping the back of your neck as leverage to hold you down on his length

k i n g of dirty talk 🤭

Absolutely cannot help himself when it comes to telling you how pretty you look choking on his cock

Honestly doesn’t last long, but what do you expect? Seeing your jealous and possessive response to the girl he had given little to no acknowledgment had lit a fire in his chest

He was desperate to get his hands on you, to remind you that he was just as much yours as you were his.

And when he does— oh MAN he makes you forget all about the second-year girl

He has one of your legs draped over his shoulder as he goes down on you, licking and sucking at you in a way that had you trembling

You accidentally knock over a pile of brooms and mops, neither of you paying them any mind as your head lulled in bliss

If only you had remembered to flick the lock on the door…

Kirishima really thought someone was banging on the door for help. It wouldn’t have been manly— or heroic not to make sure someone wasn’t in trouble

Besides, why else would someone be making so much noise in a supply closet if they weren’t stuck??

So when the door swung open and he locked eyes with you, still panting and moaning as an all too familiar head of purple hair buried further into your heat—

He let out the loudest shout he could muster. Apologies poured from his mouth as he fumbled to shut the door

However, your boyfriend made no move to let you go. Instead, he hummed against your skin, only leaning back to nip at your inner thigh before speaking in a heavy voice

‘Better make this fast, kitty.’

Iida

So you’ve tried to keep your relationship on the down-low bc Iida doesn’t want anyone to think he’s distracted

We all know he just doesn’t wanna be called out for his obvious favoritism

Before you got together you were constantly pushing him, breaking minuscule rules in favor of gaining his attention. Nothing too immoral, but enough to get under his skin.

Like slipping into class just seconds after the bell had rung, nearly avoiding Aizawa’s attention, but never making it past Iida.

Or when a class had gotten a bit too stressful, the room filling with hot air as tensions rose and you had to pop open a few buttons of your uniform top

Then there was your favorite offense; desk sitting. If there was one sure way to get a reaction from your stickler of a boyfriend it was to place yourself on top of a desk.

Which is what you found yourself doing at the end of an unfavorable week. The two of you hadn’t gotten a moment together outside of your studies and you were growing needy.

So with a few moments of free time before class began, you decided to chat with Tsu and Uraraka, settling atop the desk between them when you had grown tired of standing

The desk belonging to none other than Tenya

Your ankles were crossed as you leaned forward to speak with Tsuyu and he was beyond s h o o k

Immediate hand chopping.

He’s towering over you, ranting about how your behavior was improper while keeping his hands clenched in an attempt to keep from running his fingertips along your thighs.

When was the last time you were this close to him? It had to have been longer than he realized for him to have such a strong reaction— are you biting your lip??

Any response between you died off as Aizawa addressed the class and you were sent back to your seat, leaving Iida far more frazzled than you realized

The moment class ends he has you tucked under an empty stairwell to continue his lecture

Only he doesn’t get very far

Tenya Iida has an authority kink. I take no criticism.

When you look up at him from under your lashes, muttering the words ‘yes sir’ as he chastised you, his resolve was shattered

Has you pressed against the wall immediately, fisting your blazer as he dips to press his forehead to yours

‘Why must you push me?’

Doesn’t even let you answer before his mouth is covering yours, hips arching to grind his obvious arousal against you

Knowing he had been just as affected by your as you had him was enough to spur a moan past your lips and he takes the chance to slide his tongue into your mouth

Although he was MORTIFIED at the impropriety of it all, he couldn’t resist the sweet noises you made as he expertly worked against you

His hand eventually slides between you, pushing past the waistband of your bottoms and grinding his palm against you teasingly

‘Now, who do you belong to, darling?’

You you youyouyou—

Your hand was rubbing along Iida’s hard cock, his length straining against his pants to the point you’re almost worried they’ll rip

Somehow the two of you had been so lost in one another that you hadn’t heard the door open at the top of the stairwell

Denki and Mineta honestly weren’t creeping this time— they just wanted a snack from the vending machine adjacent to you!

Got a whole ass meal instead 👁👄👁

A moan tore from your throat, quickly being smothered by Tenya’s parted lips as you came on his fingers

You had barely made out the echoing sound of objects clattering to the ground through the ringing in your ears

But your boyfriend had heard

His lips separated from you in an instant, shocked gaze shifting into something closer to anger as he recognized your classmates

Denki began stammering out an apology, looking close to short-circuiting as his attention flickered between you

Mineta had let his gaze linger on you for too long. His eyes taking in the way your exposed chest— Tenya must have pulled the buttons loose

You cringe away from his gaze, post-orgasm haze™ spurring you to tuck yourself closer to Tenya to avoid their stares rather than snap at them

It was your obvious discomfort that had kicked Iida into gear, twisting to thread your button your blouse together before rounding on the others

If embarrassment wasn’t enough, the thought of them having seen you in such a vulnerable position had him seething as he began his lecture

Attempts hand chopping them into submission, but they kept disregarding his words in favor of catching another glimpse of you in a fucked out state

All fondness for his classmates had vanished as he stepped into their line of sight, shielding you from their gazes. His eyes almost daring them to continue

Whatever words lingering on their tongues died off, heads bowing in shame as they agreed to keep the entire situation to themselves

After all, the potential wrath of Tenya Iida was not something to be taken lightly.

Mirio

Mirio’s love language is touch, without a doubt, so it’s honestly surprising when he’s NOT trying to get handsy with you

He’s always defended his obvious displays of affection by claiming he had so little free time— he’d be a fool to waste the opportunity to touch you!

Mirio jumped at the opportunity to feel you against him. Whether it was a heavy kiss to your lips after walking you to class, a hand slipping under your shirt to caress your back, or his fingers trailing teasingly along your thigh.

However, as much as he was attentive, he was also forgetful.

It was because of that forgetfulness that you found yourself alone in your dorm. Countless boxes of takeout were lined up on your desk and a pre-planned movie was ready to play on your small tv.

After a few hours and countless delivered messages, you succumbed to disappointment.

The following day Mirio can’t seem to figure out why you’re avoiding him, but he refuses to give up without a fight.

Definitely thinks it’s a game of some sort and takes it upon himself to break your silent streak

It wasn’t easy being upset with Mirio. He had an uncanny ability to brighten any room he stepped into and being irrevocably in love with him only strengthened his effect

He’s always hard for you and loves letting you know just how you affect him— so why not place a hand on your hand, pressing firmly against your back when he slips past?

You always look so stunning— why not feed you compliments at every given moment?

How could he not look at you with the most iNTENSE GAZE undressing you with his eyes in front of everyone?

It’s when he realizes that you aren’t reacting to his teasing and flirtatious behaviorist that he caves.

He finds you between classes, stirring you away from the crowd, despite your wordless protests. It isn’t until you’re tucked away in an abandoned hall that he finally asks what was wrong

You had fully intended on dragging it out, allowing anger to push you on. But he spoke to you in the softest voice, looked at you with eyes filled with so much devotion that it was nearly overwhelming

He is shocked when you shove him away— were you tearing up??

Actually gets super defensive because he doesn’t realize HES the one that made you upset

Once you finally cave and remind him about the date he had missed it hits him like a freight train.

The two of you so rarely got time together and he had stood you up.

‘I’m so sorry, baby. I’ve been so busy lately— I didn’t realize I was neglecting you.’

Does not waste time making it up to you. He cups your face in his hands as he starts placing soft kisses on your face, cooing softly as tears roll down your cheeks

Did somebody say praise kink?

How can you stay mad at him when he’s telling you how sorry he is and that he loves you and you’re the only one his dick will get hard for??

It isn’t long before he’s pinned you between him and the wall, hitching your legs around his waist while coaxing you into a heavy kiss

His hips flex to grind against you, his hot length slotting between your thighs as he digs his fingertips into the curve of your ass

Mirio does not care that somebody could see— his quirk leaves him naked all the time and he’s shameless 🥵

But again he’s so forgetful—

And he was meant to go straight to class 1A to talk with them alongside the other members of The Big Three

So when he didn’t show up Aizawa had sent Tamaki and Midoriya in search of their future number one hero

How were you supposed to know they would turn the corner just as you arched from the wall?

Mirio had no idea anyone was there as he used the hand that was wrapped around your throat as leverage to grind you over the edge—

bOY were you embarrassed when you heard the two boys audibly g a s p

Midoriya’s embarrassment nearly gave Tamaki a run for his money. You were quick to turn away, immediately hiding your face in his chest as he greeted the duo in an overly cheerful voice

Absolutely teases the three of you over the incident FOREVER!!

Shigaraki

Shigaraki was obsessed with you.

There was no way around how infatuated he had become and it only seemed to grow alongside your relationship

He was touch starved. The moment you began giving him physical affection and attention it was game over

He had no shame, especially when it came to his desire for you, which is how you often found yourself perched on his lap no matter the company.

That being said, the leader of the League of Villains became intolerable when the two of you were separated for long.

And a recent spiral of events has prevented you from returning to the hideout, thus leaving the others to deal with him

You weren’t expected to return until the following week. Aside from texting Shigaraki endlessly (didn’t he have anything better to do?) and assuring Twice and Toga that you’d be returning as soon as possible, you hadn’t had much contact with the League

Shigaraki was wound up tight, lashing out at the others far more than usual. That was how he ended up sitting at the bar, Father concealing his annoyance as Kurogiri took over the meeting.

And suddenly you were walking in, muttering a quick apology before taking the only available seat beside Toga

Shigaraki could not keep his eyes off of you, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by the others. It was the most present he had been since you left.

Of course, that meant Dabi has also noticed and never missing an opportunity to mess with their ruthless leader he shifted closer from his place behind you, muttering small talk into your ear

There is no doubt in my mind that Shigaraki was staring at you both like 😠 behind Father

Luckily the meeting had been wrapping up upon your arrival and the group was dismissed, many leaving to handle their own business.

However, the moment you had leaped to your feet Tomura had vanished from the room

With a sigh you moved over to the bar, sliding into the seat that had once been occupied by your man and Kurogiri placed a drink before you

By the time you had downed the last bit the bar had gotten eerily quiet, though when you shifted to speak to the Misty Man he was already looking over your shoulder. With a single nod, he had left the room.

The moment he was gone leather artist gloves shoved under your top, your heart racing at the all too familiar feeling as a palm settled between your shoulders

‘I’ve missed you, pet.’

There was a harsh tone to his voice, but it was contradicted by the trail of open-mouthed kisses he pressed along your neck and shoulder

Your entire body arched against him, head craning back to catch a glimpse of him, smiling widely as you met his gaze and returned the sentiment

A scoff slid past his lips, though you could see the amusement dancing in his gaze as his hand reached around to wrap around your throat

Despite the gloves, he kept a pinky in the air

His mouth covers yours in a sloppy kiss as his hips jolt sharply against you, knocking you against the countertop

Absolutely cannot control himself as he ruts against you, wasting little to no time in pushing your bottoms down past your thighs

Heat pooled in your stomach as his free hand reached between you to pull himself from his jeans

His dick slid between your thighs, a throaty whine sliding past your lips and despite the slick from your arousal the thick head stretched you perfectly

You had been completely lost in him, moaning and whining freely as he continued to rut against you.

There was a click throughout the room, similar to the door handle being twisted and your attention was adverted to the source

However, Shigaraki was faster.

He grabbed the back of your head and using his hold as leverage to press your face flat against the bar-top while his other hand worked against your sensitive center. A loud moan that was undoubtedly his name tumbled past your lips

‘There’s my little slut— louder, make sure they know who makes you feel this good.’

Unbeknownst to you, the person he wanted to be sure knew you were his had entered the room, Tomura meeting his gaze with a smirk as you began chanting his name like a prayer

A harsh thrust of his hips sent you over the edge as you came on his cock, filthy praises slipping past his lips as his hot release rolled down your thighs

He placed another sloppy kiss on the back of your neck before parting from you.

The moment you lift your head and begin adjusting yourself you lock eyes with Dabi

Embarrassed didn’t even begin to explain how you felt as Tomura let out a loud laugh, reaching down to pull your bottoms up after he had tucked himself away

‘Go wait on my bed while I speak with Dabi and I may let you come on my tongue.’

You wasted no time hurrying away from the two, heart pounding from both excitement and humiliation as you rushed to do as you were told

#iida x reader #mirio x reader #shigaraki x reader #shinso x reader #tenya x reader #mirio headcanons #iida headcanons #shinso headcanons #shigaraki headcanons #my hero academia #my heado academia headcanons

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shieldfoss · 1 year ago

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Do learn Zig

---

There are at least 5, possibly more, ways of making a programming language after C that don't do like C++

Nr 1 is to just not try for "better C" and instead do something completely different - for example Haskell.

Nr 2 is to look at C++ and say "We agree that X is a problem with C that needs solving but come the fuck on" - for example Java using garbage collection and Dispose() instead of RAII (And Java is old enough that it gets to re-use C's excuse "we made this language before better alternatives were well known," but also RAII isn't necessarily the best approach? I like it but it's completely legitimate to prefer something else.)

Nr 3 is to look at a problem in C, look at C++, find out that C++ solved this problem but... maybe the cure is worse than the disease? It would appear nobody has found a strict improvement so let's just... I guess we'll do like C here? This is for example Go's original approach to generics - C++ templates are complicated. I immediately think less of any language that won't let me have something equally powerful but they are complicated.

Nr 4 is to look at a problem in C, look at C++, find out that C++ solved this problem two+ decades ago, and then not solving the problem in your language because you don't want to be like C++, here I am looking directly at Go and the decision not to have a non-null pointer type in the language AND not to have the compiler error if you dereference a pointer without checking for null first what the fuck is wrong with you.

Nr 5 is when you do nr 3 but you're wrong about it and smug about how you're wrong and exclusively engage with strawman arguments rather than deal with the fucking truth, this despite your mistake actually going against the core values of your language. Andrew. I'm talking to you Andrew.

---

Anyway Zig doesn't have the concept of public/private fields, meaning every single fucking class has to pick between

(1) encapsulating with the inefficient pimpl idiom like we do in C

(2) checking invariants on every function call, leading to conditional branching and a ballooning of the error set

(3) lmao skill issue if the user modifies the struct that's on them hope you like Undefined Behavior

(4) doing some really ugly reinterpret casting where the struct has its regular public fields and then just one opaque byte field that you internally cast to- and from- your actual internal representation (this is a subset of "skill issue" but it's more obvious to the user that they aren't supposed to touch the bytes).

None of those are OK! And Andrew completely doesn't engage with it, talking about Java's proliferation of getters and setters which become unnecessary if you just leave the fields public bitch the point is I don't want the user setting these values! There won't be any setters!

To compare with C++ briefly:

There are essentially two ways to create a class that represents a dynamic array that matches the container concept.

Externally you need to be able to query: Data, Begin, End, Size, Capacity.

If I'm programming like Andrew seems to think I do, I make a struct with 5 private fields, and then I write 5 getters and setters.

And I don't understand how you can be smart enough to invent Zig but dumb enough to think it's acceptable to create a 40 byte object here with broken invariants when I can do it in 24 bytes with fixed invariants hence the name.

He understands the value of invariants elsewhere! For example, he has made it so pointers cannot be null, meaning I don't have to check if they're null inside every function! I just want the ability to make the same kind of invariant guarantees for my own types.

I am so incredibly tired of seeing people make new languages that fail to learn from C++

I don't need a new language to be strictly better, e.g. it could be argued that for Rust, almost every choice they made was either an upgrade or a sidegrade, sacrificing some things to gain other things they wanted more. It is a very worthy competitor and, longterm, probably the winner of that competition, even though C++ is better for some niche things.

But languages like Go and Zig just. I get so tired when they fail to do the most elementary things. "C also doesnC was standardized in 1989 what is your excuse?

C++ is not a perfect language. We have learned so many lessons since Bjarne set out to make "C but better." And by "we" I mean, apparently, not everybody.

I am so incredibly tired of seeing people make new languages that fail to learn from C++

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