#i want my nos to matter just for ONCE.

[lilgynt]

i really got to get better at saying no and just not doing things i don’t want to do. like i know abuse sexual and non literally beat that out of me but i am sick of my nos never being taken seriously and i never push beyond the initial no bc that IS me trying my best i just got to get into my cunt era

[buzz-in-your-veins]

Hello! Love your work! Is it okay if you could write Valentino x fem!reader? Like NSFW and SFW Headcanons? Thank you, keep up the great work!!

Hi! I’m happy you like my work!!

I will give it my best shot for ya!

My opinion of Valentino fluctuates constantly, so this may seem a bit everywhere.

Valentino

Head-cannons about the famous moth pimp of hell <3

CW: NSFW content, possessive, love bombing, stalkerish, abusive, lying, non consensual drug use, plugs, sorta noncon, toxic, overstimulation.

SFW

• He in no way trusts you to dress yourself. Genuinely believes if he let you, you’d either look awful or hurt yourself. He gets Velvette to make you custom clothes in your style.

• He’s the most famous Pimp and Adult Films Producer in hell. He has more money than he can use, why wouldn’t he use that to constantly spoil his firefly?

• Absolute cuddle whore. Can and will stop his entire day if he wants a cuddle. Oh you’re busy? Forget it. Val can pay more than that stupid job anyway, you should quit, he’ll take care of you limelight.

• He uses his wings as blankets, a consequence of the cuddles is you will fall asleep on him, and sure sometimes Valentino will wake you up, but he’s just as liable to wrap you up in his wings to keep you warm.

• If he doesn’t want to wake you up and can’t keep you with him, he’ll tuck up up nice and walk in his bed, write you a note, and leave you a snack on the table.

• Constantly checks on you. Doesn’t matter if he left you five seconds ago, if he texts or calls you, you’d better answer. Claims Hells to dangerous of a place for such a pretty Coraźon, he needs to know you’re okay.

• Always has to know where you are. Definitely made Vox bug your phone. You’re the amor of the first V. He needs you safe constantly. He doesn’t know what he’d do if he lost you to his competition.

• Okay, Valentino knows he’s not that great, he knows you could find someone so much nicer, you’re such a darling it would be no hassle. But, Valentino needs you. So he overcompensates for everything. If he’s constantly around, always with a pretty word and a shiny gift, you’ll never think to look elsewhere.

• Barely ever calles you by your name, always calls you a pretty nickname, “Coraźo”, “Amor”, “Cariño”, “Firefly”, “Limelight”, and “Mi Vida” are just a few of those, wants you to always know how much you mean to him.

• Valentino only cares about your self confidence in the capacity that if you have a poor self confidence it will reflect badly on him, and will make you more withdrawn, Valentino already thinks your indescribably gorgeous, why does he need to remind you? But he does it anyway.

• Valentino is possesive. If someone else so much as breathes near you without Vals permission, you’ll find their bloody head outside your door in the morning. Always touching you when you go out.

• Has 100% slapped you when you’ve angered him before, “Oh you didn’t mean too? Too bad.” You tried to run away once. Valentino brought you back bloody and screaming. “I’m sorry Amor, you make me loco Mi Vida, never again.”

• He lovebombs you, after every fight, every disagreement, even when there nos arguments, always tells you your amazing, he loves you, “you’d never leave him.”, buys you everything and anything you could ever like.

• He gives you whiplash with his attitude towards you. Most of the time he treats you like his “preciosa princesa” showering you in as much love and affection as he can, but will also treat you like garbage. “Useless slut! ¡Solo quieres estatus, puta sucia! Leave!” He never means it. “It was — Amor, they were being so foolish today, never you firefly, I’m so sorry, let me make it up Vida.”

• Valentino owns your soul. You gave it to him freely when he drugged you, you still don’t know that Valentino owns your soul, and there’s no way for you to get it back. He doesn’t even want it to make you behave, it’s the power trip of knowing he owns you in every way.

NSFW

• If Valentino isn’t fucking you, he has you plugged full of his cum. And if it leaks? Even better. Doesn’t matter where you are, he’ll bend you over and start licking it up.

• Valentino is possessive of you. If he takes you to an event and notices anyone looking at you, he will definitely bend you over in the limo and fill your pussy with his cum again.

• Loves seeing you covered in his marks. Does not hold back, not even a long turtleneck can cover them. And if he sees you walking around wearing his marks proudly? Best prepare not to walk.

• Valentino can fuck you. If the two of you are really going at it, you won’t be able to walk of days. He will bend you in two and blow out your back.

• Loves giving you sexy presents, fucking you in the lingerie he bought you? Seeing you wearing his jewellery as he pounds you? Noticing you’ve got the plug he bought you in when he’s buried in your throat? “Fuck Vida, shittt.”

• The little noises Val makes? He makes them when he’s screwing you too. Little squeaks as he’s thrusting into your mouth, he’s wings vibrating when he’s really into it, just soft little noises as you draw pleasure from each other.

• Valentino’s never had to ask someone for permission before, and when he’s worked up he doesn’t ask you, just gets straight on with it. He will stop if you safe-word.

• Valentino’s not really big on consent, especially with his workers. With you though? For some reason it’s different, Valentino wants you to want him, not just open you legs because you were told.

• Valentino can be really rough with you, but he also loves taking his time with you, working you up and up and up slow and soft, watching as you reach your peak and fall apart so prettily, before starting all over again.

• Valentino is so verbal with you, constantly telling you how you feel, how much he adores what your doing to him, what he’s going to do tou, “My heart, Mi Vida, just like that, gonna fuck you long and slow.” “Firefly, gotta be quite so they don’t here, while I pump your pussy full of cum, gotta be quick.” “Cariño be as loud as you want, let them hear how you belong to me.”

• Valentino adores degrading you, telling you how much of a puta sucia you are, how your such a filthy slut, “you’d let anyone screw you too get off dirty slut” but he also loves praising you. Telling you your his Corazón bonito, his darling firefly, how youre “such a good girl for me, only mine, so pretty Mi Vida”, seeing your eyes glaze as you drink it all in, Val can’t get enough.

• Valentino love’s overstimulating you, fucking you until your legs are shaking, you can’t speak anymore, your moans are cut with whimpers, and you’re cumming dry? Please, he’d do it every day if you’d allow it, it only shows how well he’s doing.

• Valentino definitely has a playlist he likes to put on when he’s fucking you, setting the mood, letting you pick the song you’re going to be railed too.

• Valentino doesn’t believe in safe word really. But you were adamant you had one, otherwise you would never move past heavy petting. So Valentino agreed, he uses Charlie, you use Red. Valentino has always respected that.

• Valentino has videos of the two of you together, and some of just you, there his personal videos, no one else is allowed to ever see them. He had Vox make a secure private server even he couldn’t access for them.

Feedback is always appreciated <3

Comments are my high.

They make me write faster.

I hope it meets your expectations Anon<33

~Vyrus

[vhagarlovebot]

♡ : gif credit. | aemond targaryen masterlist.

summary: aemond targaryen is touch starved. or was until you came into his life.

gwen's thoughts: okay so this is basically just my thoughts / headcanon about aemond and physical touch. it’s just a long rambling that was meant to be like only ten lines but couldn’t stop writing. if there are any grammatical errors i apologize, english is not my first language! hope you enjoy.

aemond targaryen is touch starved.

aemond is not used to physical touch. growing up it was odd to see his family being affectionate and the only person who was constantly hugging him or kissing his forehead was his mother; that’s all he knows about touch and affection.

but aemond is not a virgin. he’s just selective with the people he sleeps with. and the few times he’s had sex with a woman it was just that… sex. roughly fucking her into the mattress and then leaving before she even has the chance to catch her breath is barely considered as a sign of affection, or love.

it’s only natural that aemond does not know how to ask you to touch him, or to simply comfort him. that’s why you think he does not like to be touched, when all aemond wants is to feel you close to him, in all possible ways.

he’s always nervous around you because you are constantly touching him; your hand on his shoulder, brushing a strand of hair out of his face and caressing his cheek longer than normal, your thumb brushing against his hand, your head resting on his shoulder. and he likes that. he likes that very much but aemond just simply does not know how to react.

your first kiss was awkward, your lips hardly touching. but the second time you kissed was the exact opposite. he was just as nervous as the time before but this time he allowed himself to enjoy it. and from then on he’s always searching for your lips, chaste or passionate kisses, it doesn’t matter because he became obsessed with your lips.

then, hugs came. and aemond just melts into your embrace, humming lowly and hiding his shy smile. but he really does not do a good job because you always see it when he pulls away, as well as his pink-colored cheeks. and aemond feels empty when you’re not hugging him, he likes how your warmth transfers to his body, making him feel safe.

when your kissing sessions became more than just hot and wet kisses, you noticed how hypersensitive aemond was. a simple touch in a certain part of his body making him whimper. his eyes begging you to touch him where he needs you the most, his trembling hands guiding you. you barely have to stroke his length to have him jerking up in your hand, and the second your mouth closes around the head of his cock, aemond is cumming hard. he feels embarrassed, that has never happened before. but you are the first woman to suck him and touch his body, to have him completely naked, the first woman he is being real intimate with. and it is the first time, so you ride him. and aemond is a total moaning and whimpering mess under your body. he cums at least two more times before you are reaching your high. you cuddle after, your hands caressing his chest, face and arms, telling him how good he was, how handsome he is.

and every time you share that moment together, you delight in how vocal he becomes, how he can be rough and gentle at the same time, always making you see the stars exploding behind your eyes. no matter how many times you do it, he is always a mess when you put him in your mouth, or touch his body, or lie in bed ready to take him however he wants. and once he has experienced all he possibly could, learning about the yes and nos, aemond is a confident man, slowly becoming dominant in bed until you do or say something that has him begging and crying.

aemond didn’t know much about displays of affection. much less publicly displays of affection. but once he experienced it, he became a whole new person; a person he really likes, the kind of person to always have his hands on your back, on your shoulder, on your knee or thigh during dinner, tightly holding yours. and in the safety of your chambers like a puppy clinging to you, always arms wrapped around your middle, forehead against forehead, bodies pressed together.

when you met aemond, he was so touch starved it made you ache for him. he still needs attention and for you to always have your hands on him, as well as you need to feel his touch.

then it is only natural to say now that aemond targaryen’s love language is physical touch.

[pdriesta]

a lifetime of us — 3

an —a series of blurbs from past or present, following the main couple from “a lapse of us". this chapter contains smut (minors dni)

with 24 hours left in his hometown, pedri couldn’t imagine a better way to spend it than in between your legs.

he listened to your sounds, the pleasure bouncing off the walls of your room, his face dampened not just from his own arousal but from the heat emanating from your skin. you gripped his hair tightly, trying to keep your legs apart — failing miserably each time you tightened your grip around his head.

pedri ate like you were his last meal, and to him, you were. he knew his schedule would be packed once he touched down in barcelona tomorrow, but right now, nothing mattered more than you.

you felt the usual flood of pleasure rake through your body, but that didn’t stop pedri. after coming down from your high, he kissed you passionately, prepared to hold you for as long as he could before your parents came and insisted on spending time with him.

“that was —,” you breathed out, slumping your sweaty body on top of his. “unreal. how do you get better every time?” you asked seriously.

pedri chuckled, “isn’t it obvious? you’re my favorite topic to study, all the ways i can take care of my girl.”

your face was already flushed after the 30 minutes pedri spent between your legs. however, you felt your body heat up even more at his words.

“pedri,” you groaned, feeling his lips and his body rock against yours, clothed in what he usually slept in when he stayed over.

“sí, mi vida,” (yes, my life) he replied absentmindedly, peppering kisses along your collarbone. unlike him, whose shirt had been discarded as soon as your lips met, yours remained on.

contrary to your mom’s constant nagging about pregnancies and birth control, you and pedri had never taken that step. after growing so much together over the years and entering adulthood side by side, you always assumed waiting was your best bet.

you never imagined the thoughts and worries that flooded your mind now that the boy you loved would be away for the majority of the year after moving to barcelona. he promised to come back during the summer and any international breaks, but knowing how amazing he was, you had a sneaking suspicion it would be hard to align schedules.

today, however, with pedri on top of you, tenderly kissing your body, you knew in your heart what you needed.

“pedri,” you said again, threading your hands in his hair and tugging the strands the way he liked to meet his brown eyes with yours.

“mi vida,” (my life) he said back, staring at your swollen lips, feeling proud of his handiwork before pecking your lips.

suddenly, you sat up, and he moved to sit on his feet on your bed. without saying anything, and keeping your eyes fixed on his, you removed your shirt.

watching as you tossed it over the bed, pedri was confused, to say the least.

“what’s wrong, baby? are you too hot? i can adjust the thermostat,” he offered.

“no!” you quickly replied, not wanting him to leave in his shirtless glory. your body shivered at the sight of the slick layer of sweat on his skin. he had changed and grown so much into the man in front of you, and you were in awe, feeling a bit embarrassed now that you sat in front of him in just a bra.

“no, it’s not the temperature,” you finally said, “i’m ready.”

pedri’s mind went blank. after being together for so long, he knew what those words entailed, but he just couldn’t believe it.

“r-ready?” he repeated your words, not wanting to assume. you shyly nodded in response, dropping your eyes to your duvet-covered lap.

“sí, mi corazón. quiero tener sexo. quiero que nos quitemos la virginidad mutuamente,” (yes, my heart. I want to have sex. I want us to lose our virginity to each other) you finally spoke up. you didn’t want to lose your nerve; this was your best friend. he knew you like the back of his hand. you were the love of his life, and the only future he was certain of was the one with you.

however, in this moment, he wasn’t so sure. sure, there had been times where you both almost took the next step, but something always got in the way — whether it meant annoying siblings or demanding schedules, the stars never aligned until now.

“are you sure, mi amor?” (my love) he reached for your trembling hands in your lap. you wordlessly nodded but didn’t meet his eyes, and that’s how he knew you weren’t okay.

“y/n, baby, talk to me. what is this really about?” he moved from his spot in front of you to beside you, his arm around your shoulder, bringing you into his arms. he used his free hand to grasp your chin between his fingers, making you meet his eyes.

“nothing. i just want you,” you said barely above a whisper. “i want to be close to you. i want all of you, even if this is the last time,” your voice broke at the last words.

pedri felt like he was doused with a bucket of ice water at the realization. she thinks i’ll leave her behind.

“hey, hey,” he soothed, pulling you completely onto his lap. “mi niña bonita,” (my pretty girl) he cupped the side of your face, swiping your tears away. he looked at you with so much love in his eyes that you felt even more choked up.

“do you know why i call you mi vida? it’s the perfect term for you to understand that you’re my entire world. everything i do is for you. even when it isn’t about you, it’s for you. i’ve loved you since the very first day i saw you fall onto our football pitch. i’ve loved you through everything, and i will love you through this. this is your dream as much as it’s mine.”

“te amo también, mi corazón,” (I love you too, my heart) you sniffed while wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face in his neck. “i can’t help but think, though, you’ll find someone better, more experienced, and toss me away. you know how many women will flock to you. i don’t want you to leave and me not give you what was always yours,” you confessed.

“that’s what this is about?” he realized. “y/n, there is no one else on this planet meant for me but you. it’s never about experience because guess what? you’re my first everything. there’s no one else in the world i would ever want to be with intimately,” he ran his hands over your back.

even though pedri was shy himself, it being his first time too, he wanted to reassure you.

“are you sure? we don’t have to rush this. i’ll be back sooner than you know it,” he asked you once again.

you wrapped your arms around his neck, anchoring his body to yours. he braced himself on his elbows beside your head, making sure he didn’t crush you.

“i am sure, pedri. i want everything with you,” you said back.

this was enough for pedri to crash his lips onto yours like a madman. you moaned at the taste of yourself on his lips, and he took this as an opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth.

finally, amidst the haze and the fog of arousal, pedri pulled back. “espera, amor,” (wait, love) he breathed out, feeling his heart beating out of his chest.

“i don’t have anything, you know?” he gestured to where you ground on him through his briefs. you smiled at how shy your boyfriend was, even after all the dirty things he’d done to you.

“we don’t need any,” you replied, before registering your boyfriend’s shock.

“y/n, we can’t! i don’t want to get you pregnant. your family will kill me. hell, my family will kill me,” he quickly pulled back.

“no, no, baby,” you quickly sat up, following his movements, holding back a laugh. “you know how my mom is. she’s all about contraception and preventing accidental pregnancies. she took me to get birth control months ago. i’m safe. we’re safe,” you blushed, still feeling shy at the idea of your mom’s face while she encouraged contraception with your boyfriend.

pedri was beyond shocked now. he knew you weren’t a spontaneous person. you always thought about a million and one possible outcomes before making decisions. knowing you endured your mom’s goading to prepare for this moment was enough reassurance he needed.

“eres perfecta,” (you’re perfect) pedri murmured, meeting your lips once again, falling into you once more.

“mi vida,” (my life) he said while lining up. “esto va a doler.” (this is going to hurt.) he remembered how much you had to adjust to his mere fingers. he was shaking with fear at what might happen and all the ways he might hurt you.

“lo sé,” (I know) you nodded. “confío en ti con todo,” (I trust you with everything) you caressed his head before guiding him forward.

finally buried in you, he felt the tightness and restriction and shuddered. he looked at you, seeing the crease between your eyebrows and the pain on your face.

“mi vida,” (my life) pedri managed to let out.

“me duele,” (it hurts) you choked out, tears spilling from your eyes. if the enveloping warmth didn’t feel as good as it did, pedri would’ve pulled out right then and there, not wanting to hurt you. but after feeling you like this, there was no going back.

“lo sé, mi vida, lo sé,” (I know, my life, I know) he said, kissing your tear-streaked face. “¿qué puedo hacer para mejorar esto?” (What can I do to make this better?) he asked, desperate to ease your discomfort.

you shook your head, gripping his shoulders tightly. “solo quédate conmigo,” (just stay with me) you whispered, your voice trembling. the pain was intense, but you knew it would pass, and the idea of stopping now, of not sharing this moment with him, was unbearable.

“estoy aquí,” (I’m here) pedri murmured, brushing his lips over your forehead. he held still, giving you time to adjust, his heart aching at the sight of your tears. he wanted to take the pain away, to make this perfect for you, but all he could do was be there, holding you through it.

slowly, the pain began to subside, replaced by a dull ache that was easier to bear. you shifted slightly, and pedri took it as a sign to move, beginning to rock gently into you.

“está mejor ahora?” (Is it better now?) he asked, his voice full of concern as he watched your expression.

“sí, mejor,” yYes, better) you breathed out, a small smile tugging at your lips. the discomfort was still there, but so was something else—something deeper, more intimate, a connection that went beyond the physical.

pedri kissed you softly, his movements tender and unhurried, as if he had all the time in the world. he murmured sweet nothings against your lips, his love for you evident in every word, every touch.

“te amo,” (I love you) he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

“te amo, pedri,” (I love you, Pedri) you replied, your heart swelling with love for the boy who was now your first in every way.

the pain continued to fade, replaced by a warmth that spread through your body, making your toes curl and your breath hitch. pedri noticed, his movements becoming slightly more confident, though he was still careful, still gentle.

“you’re so beautiful, mi vida,” he said, his voice strained as he tried to hold himself back, not wanting to rush this moment, not wanting to lose control.

you reached up, cupping his face in your hands, pulling him down for a kiss. it was messy, full of heat and desperation, and pedri groaned into your mouth, finally giving in, his hips moving more urgently now.

the discomfort was almost entirely gone, replaced by pleasure that built steadily, making you gasp and cling to him, your nails digging into his back.

“pedri,” you whimpered, overwhelmed by the intensity of it all.

pedri’s breath came in ragged gasps, his heart pounding in his chest as he moved inside you with slow, deliberate strokes. every thrust was measured, as if he was trying to commit every moment to memory. it wasn’t just about the pleasure; it was about the love he poured into each motion, the way his hands roamed your body like he was trying to memorize the feel of you beneath him.

“y/n,” he whispered, his voice filled with raw emotion. “i love you more than anything, más que todo, mi vida. you’re everything to me. please, don’t ever forget that.”

your heart clenched at the intensity in his voice, and tears welled up in your eyes again, but this time they weren’t from pain—they were from the overwhelming love you felt for him. “i won’t, pedri,” you whispered back, your voice trembling with emotion. “i love you too. so much. i don’t want you to go.”

he paused, his forehead resting against yours as he struggled to catch his breath. “i don’t want to go either,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “but i promise you, y/n, i’ll come back to you. siempre voy a volver, okay? nothing will keep me away from you.”

you nodded, swallowing hard to keep from crying. “i know, pedri. i know you will. just… don’t forget about me, okay?”

his eyes softened as he looked at you, brushing a stray tear from your cheek with his thumb. “never, mi amor,” he vowed, his voice thick with emotion. “you’re the only thing on my mind. siempre estás en mi mente y en mi corazón. you’re my world, y/n. no one could ever take your place.”

as he spoke, he began to move again, slow and gentle, his hands gripping your waist as if he was afraid you’d slip away. each thrust was filled with love, with a desperation that mirrored your own. you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, needing to feel every inch of him, to hold him as close as possible.

“pedri,” you breathed out, your voice hitching with emotion. “te necesito. i need you, now more than ever. i want you to remember this moment, every single detail, so you know that i’m always yours.”

“i’m yours too, y/n,” he whispered back, his voice trembling as he kissed you deeply, his lips moving against yours with a fervor that made your heart ache. “completamente tuyo, siempre. nothing will ever change that.”

you moaned softly against his lips, the sound muffled as he kissed you harder, pouring every ounce of love he had into it. the rhythm of his movements quickened, but he was still careful, still trying to ensure your comfort above all else. the pleasure built between you, a slow burn that intensified with each passing second, until you felt like you were on the edge of something beautiful, something that would forever bind you to him.

“mi vida, i can’t—” he gasped, his voice raw with emotion. “i’m close, so close. i need to feel you with me. por favor, mi amor, come with me.”

his words sent a shiver down your spine, and you nodded, unable to speak as the pleasure reached its peak. your hands tightened in his hair, your nails digging into his scalp as you felt yourself unraveling beneath him.

“pedri,” you whispered, your voice breaking as you teetered on the edge. “te amo. te amo tanto.”

that was all it took. with a low groan, pedri buried his face in your neck, his body trembling as he came, his release triggering yours. you clung to him, your body arching into his as the pleasure washed over you, leaving you breathless and spent.

for a long moment, neither of you moved, both too overwhelmed by the intensity of what you had just shared. pedri’s breathing was ragged against your skin, his arms wrapped tightly around you as if he was afraid to let go.

“don’t let me go, pedri,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “please, don’t let me go.”

he pressed a soft kiss to your temple, his heart aching at the vulnerability in your voice. “never, mi vida. i’m never letting you go,” he promised, his voice thick with emotion. “no matter where i am, you’ll always be with me. en mi corazón, siempre.”

you buried your face in his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your cheek, and for the first time, you truly believed him. you knew that no matter the distance, no matter the time apart, he would always come back to you.

“i’ll wait for you,” you whispered, your voice barely above a breath, but you knew he heard you. “i’ll always wait for you, pedri.”

he held you tighter, his lips brushing against your hair as he whispered, “and i’ll always come back to you, y/n. always. you’re my home.”

and as the two of you lay there, wrapped in each other’s arms, the world outside ceased to exist. it was just you and pedri, in a moment of pure love and connection, a bond that no amount of time or distance could ever break.

you knew that tomorrow would come, and with it, the challenges of a long-distance relationship. but for now, in this quiet, stolen moment, you had everything you needed. you had pedri, and that was more than enough.

the airport was filled with the usual chaos—announcements echoing, people rushing by with luggage, and the occasional laughter from a distant group. but for you, the world had narrowed down to just one thing: saying goodbye to pedri. he was moving to barcelona to pursue his dreams, and while you were beyond proud of him, the thought of being apart was like a dull ache in your chest.

your families were there, gathered around in a small, tight-knit circle. pedri’s mom hugged him first, her eyes glistening with tears that she tried to blink away. “cuídate, mi niño,” she whispered, holding him close for a few seconds longer than usual. his dad gave him a firm, reassuring pat on the back, followed by fer, who pulled him into a brotherly embrace.

your mom was next, wrapping her arms around pedri like he was one of her own. “we’re all so proud of you,” she said, her voice warm but edged with the same sadness you felt. your dad followed, giving pedri a quick hug and a nod that conveyed more than words ever could.

caro was last, and as usual, she couldn’t resist teasing him, even in a moment like this. “now, you better watch out for those girls in barcelona,” she said, trying to keep it light but her tone carried a hint of protectiveness. “don’t let them distract you from your girl at home and your goals, okay?”

pedri chuckled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “i promise, caro,” he replied, squeezing her hand before letting go.

rafael, still young enough to not fully grasp the gravity of the situation, gave pedri a quick hug and an innocent smile. “you’ll be back soon, right?”

“sooner than you think,” pedri assured him, ruffling his hair.

finally, it was your turn. but instead of stepping forward, you found yourself rooted to the spot, your eyes fixed on the floor. your heart was pounding, each beat echoing with the reality that this was it—he was leaving.

pedri noticed your hesitation, his gaze softening as he looked at you. “mi amor,” he called softly, his voice filled with an understanding that made your heart ache even more. “mírame, por favor.”

slowly, you lifted your eyes to meet his, finding the strength in his gaze that you desperately needed. he took a step closer, closing the distance between you two. “ven aquí,” (come here)he murmured, holding out his hand to you.

you hesitated for a moment, the lump in your throat making it hard to breathe, let alone move. but the sincerity in his voice, the way he looked at you like you were the only person in the world that mattered, made it impossible to resist. you stepped forward, slipping your hand into his, the warmth of his touch grounding you in a way that nothing else could.

“it’s going to be okay,” pedri whispered, pulling you closer until your forehead rested against his. “we’ll make this work, no matter what. i promise.”

“i know,” you managed to say, though your voice was shaky. “i just… i’m going to miss you so much.”

he tilted your chin up, his thumb brushing away the tear that slipped down your cheek. “i’m going to miss you too, more than you know,” he replied, his voice thick with emotion. “but this isn’t goodbye, okay? it’s just ‘see you later.’”

you nodded, trying to hold onto his words like a lifeline. but the reality of him leaving, of not having him by your side every day, was overwhelming. “pedri… what if—”

“shh,” he interrupted gently, pressing his lips to your forehead in a lingering kiss. “don’t think about the ‘what ifs.’ we’ve got this. i’ll call you every day, text you all the time—you’ll probably get sick of me.”

a small, shaky laugh escaped you, and you finally allowed yourself to wrap your arms around him, holding on as tightly as you could. “never,” you whispered, burying your face in the crook of his neck. “i could never get sick of you.”

he held you just as tightly, his hands stroking your back in soothing circles. for a moment, the noise of the airport faded away, leaving just the two of you in a quiet, bittersweet embrace.

finally, after what felt like both an eternity and a single heartbeat, pedri pulled back just enough to look at you. “i love you,” he said, his voice steady but filled with all the emotion he was holding back. “and nothing is going to change that. distance doesn’t matter when it comes to us.”

“i love you too,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. “so much.”

he smiled, the kind of smile that was meant just for you, the kind that made everything else fade away. “then that’s all that matters,” he said softly. “we’ll figure out the rest.”

before you could say anything else, his parents gently intervened, suggesting that they give you two a moment alone. with a few soft words and understanding looks, your families quietly walked away, giving you the privacy you needed for this final, heartfelt goodbye.

with the terminal now feeling strangely empty, you turned back to pedri, taking in every detail of his face as if trying to memorize it. “promise me you’ll take care of yourself,” you said, your voice thick with emotion. “and don’t forget to eat properly, and—”

“i promise,” he cut you off, a tender smile playing on his lips. “and you promise me you’ll keep smiling, okay? don’t let yourself get too sad, because i’ll be back before you know it.”

you nodded, though your heart felt heavy with the weight of the impending separation. “i’ll try,” you whispered, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall.

pedri leaned in, pressing one last, lingering kiss to your lips, his hand cupping your cheek as if to hold you there a little longer. when he finally pulled away, his eyes were filled with the same mix of sadness and determination that mirrored your own.

as you stood there, your hands lingering on his chest, pedri couldn’t resist teasing you, hoping to bring a smile back to your face. “you know,” he began, a playful glint in his eyes, “it’s funny how you’re still so shy around me, even after everything we’ve done.” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and the memory of your last night together flooded back, making your cheeks flush a deep red.

“pedri,” you whined, half-embarrassed, half-amused, as you playfully swatted his chest. but the light teasing worked—your heart felt a little less heavy, and you couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at the corners of your lips.

“there it is,” he murmured, leaning in to press a quick kiss to your forehead. “that’s the smile i love. just remember that, okay? we’re going to be okay.”

with one last, fleeting touch—his fingers brushing against yours—he turned and walked toward the gate, his figure growing smaller with each step. you stood there, watching until he disappeared from sight, your heart aching with the emptiness he left behind.

but even as the tears finally fell, you clung to the hope in his words, the love in his eyes. this wasn’t the end—it was just the beginning of a new chapter. and no matter the distance, you knew your love was strong enough to bridge it.

© 2024 PDRIESTA

[instexcamera]

Mayoi Milk

Mayoi Ayase x GN!reader

Warnings: You literally drink milk from Mayois tits and theres nipple play

Authors note: wowzers, I resurrected from my brunt out death to write lactating Mayoi! Can't wait to disappear again until May (hopefully not) or something. Also this is so shitty because I wrote it hella tired and wanting to finish it because I've been working on it for 2 weeks so the endings rushed. I was in a funk and the request I was writing I just wasn't fucking with so I started this and then, the studying hit so I had to rush it to finish. Anyways I still have requests, they have not been forgotten I'm just hella tired and busy rn with no motivation they will be done. Eventually.

Word count: 2k

18+ after this point

"Are you sure it'll work? Even if it does, why would you want to? My milk isn't even good! It'll taste all disgusting and you'll hate it! I know you will, you'll end up spitting it out and thinking I'm such a tainted being that it's affecting the flavor!" Mayoi frantically says all this as you slide yourself onto his lap. You hated hearing him talk about himself like this, especially since this had been your idea. He took your silence as an agreement to his words and he hurriedly covered his face with his hands as his body started to shake a little. You sigh as you watch him, he always lets his anxieties win over the more rational part of him but you loved him all the same. Enveloping him in your arms, holding his trembling frame close. The position was a little uncomfortable with your knees digging harshly into the soft mattress below you but calming Mayoi was a priority.

Resting your chin on his head as you close your eyes, the faint scent of the grape shampoo he uses invading your senses. Bringing one hand up to card through his silky purple hair. Your other hand rubs his back in soothing circles trying your best to calm him. It seems to work as you can feel him relax in your hold his shaking slowly coming to a stop. Another moment like that with him and you speak. "It's fine if it doesn't work, your body's not meant to do this. And I don't care about the taste, all that matters is that it's from you, something you made specifically for me right? I'll enjoy it either way." Mayoi doesn't respond right away but eventually you can feel him pushing against your chest wanting free of your embrace.

His face is flushed a light red which spreads down his neck and to his chest however his shirt prevents your eyes from roaming too far. Mayois' face still looks a tad embarrassed but he has a relieved glint in his sky blue eyes. "Maybe you're right. You won't get upset when you learn it has a disgusting flavor? Something from an impure being like myself isn't going to taste good." You sigh before once again responding with nos and you won't get upset if it tastes horrible. The uncomfortable sensation of your legs going numb from your position makes itself known when you shift. Along with it you could feel something poking into your inner thigh. Moving ever so slightly to position yourself right above it, grinding down and studying Mayois reaction.

His face turns a darker shade of red as his eyes close, a high pitched whine leaving him. Stopping as soon as you had started, feeling Mayoi unconsciously buck his hips up to chase the friction. Unfortunately for him you were already shifting into a different position. Using his shoulders as leverage you maneuver your legs from the cramped position they were in to outstretched, almost hanging off the side of the bed. This new position had you lower than before, level right where you wanted, directly in front of Mayois chest. A high pitched eek comes from above you as Mayois body jolts under you. When you look up he had his signature anxious expression on but it was quickly turning into one of anticipation.

He looked so beautiful to you, the dim light of the room illuminating his face perfectly. When you make no move to look away Mayoi nervously fidgets with his fingers, twisting them until it seems they might break. "Sor-Sorry. Why are you just staring at me like th-that? Did I do something? Did you realize how disgusting I am!" Realizing your mistake you take his hands in yours wanting to stop his movements before he accidentally hurts himself. "No, I was just admiring how pretty you are. Can I not do that? I can't wait to see how much more beautiful you look when you're in my mouth." He doesn't say anything. Eyes darting away to look somewhere in the distance, his body relaxing under you. When you're sure he won't go back to fidgeting with his fingers you let them go, watching as they fall onto the bed sheets with a muted thud.

When you can tell he's completely relaxed you slide your hands to the second button on his shirt. He always kept the first one, which was directly under his chin, unbuttoned. It was always a tease whenever you saw him. You could always catch a glimpse of the pale, smooth skin but nothing more. Always wanting to bite and kiss into it, leaving marks for anyone to see and know Mayoi was claimed. However today wasn't for that, reluctantly watching as more of his flushed skin is revealed when the button pops open. Moving down to the one under it, fumbling with it a bit as your excitement to finally taste Mayoi grows. The button keeps slipping in your grasp, not wanting to go through the small hole keeping it connected to the other side of his shirt. The more you fumble with it the higher your annoyance gets and in a second Mayois pushed your hand away, undoing it himself. He opens it easily and when you chance a glance up at him his eyes are concentrated on his shirt. He doesn't stop with just that one, he goes ahead and undoes all of them for you.

When all of the buttons had successfully been undone his shirt fell open, the white fabric framing his chest perfectly. Whenever he bared himself like this you always took a moment to admire him hoping it would help with his self-esteem but also so you could just freely appreciate how pretty he is. Finally able to see just how far the red flush traveled down his torso, stopping just before his stomach. His ribs are slightly visible as his chest rises and falls rapidly as he breathes. His nipples are small and pink looking the same as they always do, neither of them swollen or dripping milk like you wanted. That would soon be changed though as you place a hand on his stomach, giggling at the way he twitches under your touch. When you press down you could feel the hard tone of his muscles, he may not show it but being an idol he's developed some which always surprised you when you felt them. Small whines leave him at the sensation, Mayoi was always sensitive just like today, maybe even more so due to the hormones he had taken.

His body warms as you slowly slide your hands up the sensitive skin. When your fingers catch on his nipples Mayoi yelps. His hands hurriedly covering his mouth, face a dark red. "Oh? Does this feel better than normal? Usually your reactions aren't this intense?" He nods and doesn't chance a verbal response, too afraid he'd make an embarrassing noise like he hasn't already in the past. Stopping your hands completely, resting them right above his nipples and he looks down at you with glistening eyes. "Why-why'd you stop? I-" He had lowered his hands so he could get the words out and you grab onto them, pulling them back down to rest behind him on the bed. Mayoi lets out a high pitched squeal but doesn't attempt to put his hands back.

"Good boy." The praise escapes unconsciously. He groans and his hard-on once again makes itself known as it twitches in its confines under you. Your hands move back to his nipples, squeezing and massaging the small nubs, attempting to make them swell. "You liked that? Being told you're a good boy? The way your pathetic body is acting I think you did. So why don't you continue being a good boy for me and let out all your delicious milk?" Mayois' only response is a nod of his head as his eyes fall close, relishing in your praises and the sensation of your hands on his chest.

Fingers massaging and pulling on his nipples. This goes on a for a while until they're puffed up and bright red. Frustration and annoyance starts to worm itself into your head, nothing was happening, his chest was staying the same and milk wasn't starting to slowly come out. Mayoi hadn't even made a remark the whole time you've been toying with him, only groaning and sometimes watching you with lidded eyes. Your annoyance was starting to get the better of you as you pinch a little bit too hard on his already swollen nub, feeling him jolt and let out a relatively loud whine.

"I'm sorry love. Did that hurt? Just a little more and I know it'll start coming out." Truthfully you didn't actually know but you didn't want to give up on him. You thought his flush chest looked a little bit bigger but that could just be from your ministrations. Cupping your hands to the best of your ability, rubbing onto both of his nipples and gently applying pressure is when Mayoi finally says something. "May-maybe we should just stop, I-I don't think I'll produce an-anything. I'm too hrk-" He cuts off, eyes squeezing shut at another harsh squeeze to his swollen nipples. This time however, is different. Something warm and milky white dribbles onto your fingers, the liquid dripping down slowly.

Pinching the small nub again, watching as more flows out silently. Mayoi had even stopped squirming under you. In a second you latched your lips onto him letting the fluid freely flow into your mouth. The taste wasn't what you expected. It was a creamy sort of texture, thick on your tongue. The flavor is a sweet vanilla, of course a pretty boy like Mayoi would have a taste befitting of him. When you don't pull off Mayois body seems to release all the unknown tension he had seemed to hold. Eyes closing as one of your hands sneaks up to his back, rubbing small circles on it as you continue sucking at his chest. Rolling it between your lips in an attempt to have more squirt out. Other hand pulling at his other nipple still, feeling the liquid roll down your hand and arm. You wanted to get all you could out of this one before moving on to the other.

The more you continue licking and sucking on him the more he starts to squirm. When your teeth accidentally graze against the sensitive nub his back arches, successfully forcing his chest farther into your face. He was making small whimpers and moans every few seconds. The longer you go on the louder he gets, eventually settling on wrapping his hands around your body, pressing you further into him. Whenever the milk comes to a stop you open your eyes just the smallest bit. The view of Mayoi above you is absolutely beautiful, purple hair tickling your face as his eyes are scrunched shut, body bent over in an attempt to press himself closer to you.

The milk had come to a stop, you had managed to drink all he had to offer. From the excessive amount of liquid running down your lower hand, and how the liquid was slowly stopping you figured he his body had given all it could. Dropping your hand away, slowly pulling yourself from out of his hold as you sit up. When he feels what's happening he sits up, face still that deep red at what had occurred as he watches you lift up your milk covered hand and lick off all the dripping excess. You could only guess how you looked to him, milk coating your lips and running down your chin, licking it off your hand.

"Wa-was it good." Mayoi nervously starts to fiddle with his braid, avoiding your eyes. Even after all that he was still anxious about the taste. "It was lovely. Thank you for the excellent meal Mayoi."

[kyu-nee]

Calling for a SKZ roleplay!

Hi!! As you can see my name is Kyu, currently 24, and starting my summer break for the year! With only my part-time job to keep me busy during the summer months I am very free to amble about all day thinking of my eight favorite brainrot men and dreaming up little plots for them. Since writing fanfiction is nice but not as engaging and entertaining as roleplaying, I'm looking for someone who might want to chill out, go a little (a lot) nuts over them and write out some scenarios! 🍃

Talking about my roleplaying style: I'm a novella writer. That means you are getting at least 1-7k+ replies from yours truly, and it also means I am thirsting for someone who goes just as crazy with the internal monologue, the backflashes, the in-depth character exploration as I do! If I'm fed two listless little paragraphs in response to a 5k post then my motivation just flags. My grammar is (this comes off as snobby, I know) flawless except for the occasional typo or slip of the keyboard, and I like to think of my writing as rather engaging. What I really need from a roleplay partner is communication, activeness and friendliness, though. I'm very energetic sometimes and can ramble for hours about possible what-ifs in our roleplay, so I would very much like someone who wants to become friends, strikes up conversation as much as I do, and generally doesn't mind rants and fawning! 🍃

As far as topics and genres go: I love me some fluff and romance but angst, hurt, comfort, drama, misunderstandings are sooo good! I'm all in for dead dove themes and smut also, so long as we have a decent plot for it to fit into! If we get to talking I am also more than happy to provide a list of my kinks and no-nos for you to skim over and see if we'd be compatible in that regard. My absolutely favorite verses to play are omegaverse or hybrid verses, in which I am a strong stickler for the version where omegas/prey hybrids are naturally AFAB no matter their gender. 🍃

I play on Discord in private servers for easy organization and comfort!

Let's get to the (I assume) interesting part for you! I am generally all-in on every single member/member ship (NOT looking for any oc/member or self-inserts as that doesn't vibe with me at all and I don't like the notion of it) but of course I have some favorites, those being MinChan, MinSung, JeongChan, ChanBin, ChanSung and JeongLix! Still, I am very open to suggestions as I love all of my boys and am excited to play them, also as a pack, OT8, or any variation including however many of the members! 🍃

There are some plots I've been mulling over, most of them little snippets or vibes more than actual plotlines, but I'll try to piece them together coherently for your perusal once we get to talking and sort out or preferences! 🍃

Please shoot me a message that possibly also introduces yourself and I'll get back to you with haste! Will not be considering Likes/Reblogs since that low level of initiative and engagement is not what I'm looking for!🍃

Have a lovely day and thank you so much for reading through all this! 💖🍃

[that-sarcastic-writer]

🎃🌹Lia's Kinktober writer appreciation🎃🌹

I want to try something for kinktober.

So I won't do your typical 30 day writing prompt thing. I wish I had the time. But I don't. So ill do something objectively better. I want to do a masterlist of smut work of different writers (not just my mutuals) so kinda kinktober writer appreciation. Yall do amazing work and that needs to be appreciated

I'll add the details below.

Starting September 20th until October 15th I'll be compiling a list of smut fics I find under various character tags. And you are welcome (and encouraged) to rec me your favorite smut authors/fics. You can either dm the link or just shoot me an ask. If you are, in fact, a writer, you are very encouraged to send me your own work (like please I would love to read your masterpieces). You are also welcome to tag me in your work.

I'll list some qualifications below (pairings, characters and no-nos for me)

I ask that all fics are x readers (no character ships), fem or gender neutral only (I don't feel comfortable reading mlm smut as I am a straight woman myself). No incest/pseudo-incest, no rape, sexual assault or non-con (unless it's cnc). Those are my only limits. I'll read anything at least once.

You must be 18+ to participate. Whether that is to include your fic in the masterlist or if you're sending me (your age must be in your bio). I am an adult and I am not condoning minors in adult spaces nor interacting with mature work.

Character list:

Leon S Kennedy

Matt Murdock

Billy Russo

Frank Castle

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

Soldier Boy

Simon 'Ghost' Riley

Pedro Pascal characters (Javier Peña, Din Djarin, Joel Miller)

Rick Flag/Takeshi Kovacs (yes I still eat that shit up)

Miguel O'Hara

Thomas Shelby

*list might be updated in the future*

Mutuals only section

Because yall are my babes, and I read everything yall write, you can send me/tag me in any upcoming fic of yours (no matter which character), I'll happily read it and add it to the masterlist.

I'm ecstatic to see the wonders yall will come up with! Don't be shy! My inbox and dms are open for all writers.

Besitos

Tagging some of my writer/mutual babes @fluffyprettykitty @a-reader-and-a-writer @loverhymeswith @inklore @ovaryacted @agentwhiskeysdarlin @charnelhouse @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @littlestatesman @wayward-dreamer @gyllenhaalstories @1800-fight-me @witchisenpai

[joyswonderland1108]

Break my ass

I was supposed to be taking a small break from social media but this thought have been eating me out for some time so i thought i’ll just let it out and resume with my break. Warning, this might be some pretty raw talk so if you’re a 12-16yo judgmental ass minor with a victim complex please get the fuck out of here, not even some supposed adults can handle a mature talk let alone kids. (But if you’re a minor and still mature enough for this talk you’re welcome to stay)

So this post is supposed to be about Jimin but beforehand, my friend shared this in our friends gc earlier :

And i was like.. Are people ignorant or just like to play dumb? Were they expecting Yoongi to go on tour with nothing? Going on tour for what exactly Suchwita? I remember i once told someone “Well logically there will be Yoongi’s album too since he’s going on tour” and their reply was “I don’t think so” 🤡

Anygays, as French people say, revenons à nos moutons. So by now unless people are living under a rock we all know FACE is coming Aka Jimin’s album is coming, with that i have a few things to say. We all know damn well how a part of this fandom is waiting for opportunities to drag him for the smallest thing ever and sometimes those who say they love him don’t even help minimizing the hate either. 

Once the album is out please, don’t read too much into what any of the songs or lyrics mean, try to understand it as it is, don’t even try to make up some bullshit theories, don’t westernize his thoughts and view of things, let us not forget that we aren’t all coming from the same place with the same culture with the same mindset, don’t even try to link his words to anyone (Those who make everything about Jikook i see you.)

I’m pretty sure it took him a lot to take a step forward and decide to open up to Army and i’m also pretty sure that he’s not expecting everyone to understand but at least those who claim they love him and support him should be up to it. Let us listen to him, understand him, support him and accept whatever he has to offer for us, no more “Maybe he’s coming up with a second album” or “Maybe there is more to come” just stfu, we don’t know about that and whatever he is ready to give we shall appreciate him for it. 

One more thing, we all know that this fandom is fond of double standards, need i remind you how Jimin in Paris going out, partying with friends brought him harassment, got him called names, dragged meanwhile Tae doing the same exact thing if not more got people cooing at him and saying that they’re happy he gets to have fun.. I see y’all Tae stans out there trying to bite my ass from speaking the truth but the reality is no matter what Jimin does y’all are ready to judge him for it but instantly turn whatever he does to a normal thing once Tae does it. I hope he’s ashamed of y’all, disappointed in y’all. 

Once again, i’m really insisting on the fact that you should NOT westernize anything about his album, the way each individual sees things is not the same, things that might be normal for him might not be normal for you, things that might be normal for you might not be normal for him and if i see them bitches shame him for anything that all the members do/say as well again.. I’ll sacrifice your souls to the devil bitches! 

I know i keep repeating this but let is serve as a reminder, Yoongi didn’t say “FANS will understand” during Festa for nothing, they KNOW that not all Army are fans, they know that not all of them are understanding, they know that a lot of them are entitled little brats so they don’t expect them all to understand but hopefully those who are mature enough and love them enough will do and support them no matter what. We are supposed to give them a chance to move forward too, we can’t just put the boys in a prison and expect them to be the version each one of us want them to be, we are supposed to ACCEPT them the way they ARE and allow them to no longer hide behind a façade to please ungrateful pieces of shit, because yes to me anyone in this fandom who isn’t ready to accept them is a piece of shit.

With that, i guess i said everything i had to say, not too sure, again y’all already know my brain doesn’t brain correctly all the time, can’t organize my thoughts well, if i forgot to include a point i’ll either update this post or writer another post later. Take care.

[lizzypotter14]

I Will Stand By You - Part II

Sorry that this took so long but as it is my second baby, and a long one to top it all, I was going back and for in many aspects.  Hope you enjoy it!  Thanks @chelseagirl98 for your support

Warnings:  Angst, fluffy

The car ride to the airport was filled with a comfortable silence.  I can feel DeeDee’s eyes on me but no words coming forward.  Dropping me at the departure gate, she rolled the window down… “Just take care of him…and yourself.  Let me know when you arrive and take the time to be with Chris.  But if you need anything, and I mean anything, I’m a call away”,

“I will.  Love you, D”.

“Love you too”, the car moves forward leaving behind to take my flight.  

The waiting was not long but at the same time, long enough for me to browse the social media accounts. The comments towards the Club, the manager and some  specific players were awful and  hurtful. The ones directed at Chris were just spiteful.   My only hope at this point is that he has stopped looking at them; that all the boys are done looking at them.

Finally, I closed all accounts and just waited for the boarding announcement, which came 30 minutes later.   I thanked my lucky stars that DeeDee and I booked my ticket for first class so I could try and sleep throughout the flight, but my mind had other ideas, and after a little more than two hours of tossing and turning, I gave up completely on it.   Instead, I just stared outside the window looking at the endless night in front of me, playing different scenarios on how things could go once Chris and I have an opportunity to talk.

To say that I was exhausted upon arriving will be putting it mildly. Once the plane landed, I turned my phone on and shot a quick text to Andrea, who responded immediately to say that they were waiting for  me at baggage claim.  As I walked in, I got a pleasant surprise.  Waiting for me were Andrea and Kepa, both with identical smiles on their faces.

Andrea was the first one to reach for me and greet me, as Kepa went to retrieve my luggage, after asking which one was mine.  “Hola y/n, como estas?  Me alegra mucho que estes de vuelta con nosotros, aunque detesto las circunstancias en las cuales estas en Londres. (Y/n, hi.  How are you? I’m so glad to have you back with us, even if the reasons for being back in London are not the best), said Andrea giving me one of her trademark hugs.

Suddenly I feel a hug from behind in the form of my favorite goalkeeper.  “Mi turno para saludarla, mi amor.  ¿Como estas, mi niña?  Dormisteis algo en el avión.   Te ves cansada.  Andrea, mi amor, no crees que y/n se ve agotada? (Love, it is my turn to say hi. My little girl, how are you?  Did you take a nap on the plane?  You look tired.  Andrea, love, don’t you think that y/n looks tired?)

But before Andrea could answer him, I just said.  “La verdad? No he podido dormir.   Yo estoy preocupada” (¿“Do you want the truth?  I had not been able to sleep.  I am so worried”)

“Yo sé que estas preocupada, y lo entendemos perfectamente. Pero nosotros estamos preocupados por ti”.  (We understand perfectly well that you are worried.  But we are worried about you too”), said Andrea holding hands with me and guiding me towards the car park with Kepa closed behind.

“Los amo muchísimo.  Gracias a Chris, tengo a los mejores amigos que una chica puede desear.  No importa la distancia, ustedes han sido parte de nuestras vidas desde que empezamos nuestro noviazgo, y todo este tiempo han sido los mejores porristas.  No sé qué haríamos sin ustedes” (“I love you, both, so much.  I gained, thanks to Chris, the best Friends that a girl could ever wish for.   You had been our biggest cheerleaders and had been part of our journey from the start.  No matter the distance”).

“Tú eres especial para nosotros también. Es por esa razón, que te llevaremos a la casa de Chris más tarde. Primero, queremos que descanses, tomes el desayuno con nosotros.  Kai y Sophia se reunirán con nosotros más tarde y después de conversar con ellos, en lo que nos puedes preguntar lo que quieras, te llevaremos a casa de Chris” (“To us, you are special.  And that is why we will take you later to Chris’ house.  First, you will rest, and then eat breakfast with us.  Later, we will meet and talk with Kai and Sophia, during this time you can ask us any questions. After, will drop at Chris”).

“Pero yo quiero ir a verle inmediatamente” (I want to see him now”).

“Lo se.  Pero debes descansar” (“I know, but you need to rest”).

“Kepa, estas ocultando algo?” (“Are you hiding something, Kepa?”)

“Hablaremos en cuanto estemos con Kai y Sophia.  Te lo prometo” (“I promised that we will talk with Kai and Sophia”)

Should I be concerned about it.  Maybe.  But I trust my friends.

“Está bien. Vamos” (“Okay. Let’s go”)

During the drive to Kepa and Andrea’s home, I took the opportunity to send a message to DeeDee and let her know that I arrived fine.  To my surprise, she responded immediately and asked if I was on my way to see Chris for which I responded in the negative.

“What do you mean no?” was the quick reply.

“I looked and felt exhausted due to lack of sleep, so Kepa and Andrea had suggested for me to take some rest at their home before heading to Chris.  That it’s all”.

The dots that appeared on my phone just too quickly disappeared.  When I was about to give the conversation up the dots reappeared and a message followed.

“Y/m…”

“DeeDee…”

“Just rest”.

“Nothing more to say?”

“No.  I promised to butt out and that’s what I am doing.  Just relax, sunshine.  Need you to be in your ‘A’ game”.

“Stop, DeeDee.  You know I value your opinion”.

“And I love you for it, but a promise is a promise.  By the way, do not forget to send a message to your future mother-in-law, and let her know that you are okay”.

“Stop teasing me, and I will.  Also, why are you still awake?”

“Couldn’t sleep either.  But now, that I know you are in safe hands, I will take advantage of this room, and will sleep for a while before heading home”.

“Please sleep well, DeeDee.  Do not drive if you are too tired and send me a message once you get home”.

“Stop worrying about me”.

“Never.  I have to say goodbye for now as we just arrived and need to spend some time with my hosts”.

“Okay but y/n…”                  

“Yes?”

“Nothing.  Just love you”.

“Love you too”.

When I lifted my eyes from the phone, two sets of eyes were staring at me. “Solamente estaba enviándole un mensaje a la hermana de Chris para dejarle saber que llegue bien” (“Just sending Chris’ sister a quick message to let her know of my arrival in one piece”).

“No hay problema.  Vamos a cocinar el desayuno.  Andrea te preparo la recamara de huéspedes.  Toma un baño y ven a buscarnos cuando estes lista” (“No worries. The spare bedroom is set for you so just go ahead and take a shower.  Once you are ready, come and find us as Andrea and I will be getting breakfast ready”).

“Gracias” (Thank you”).

Fifteen minutes later, I was heading to the kitchen.  I arrived quietly and took my time just observing the interactions between the couple.  They were so comfortable with one another and seemed to work in the kitchen like a well-oiled machine.  Andreas’ engagement ring sparkled with the sun streaming through the kitchen window. I always felt drawn to it; daydreaming a little bit about the moment in which will be my hand showing a ring.  A girl can dream.  As they were flipping pancakes and setting some places  on the kitchen island, Andrea noticed my presence at the door.

“Y/n, está lista para desayunar?”  (“Are you ready for breakfast, y/n?”)

“Si, gracias” (“Yes, thank you”), and with that I just sat down next to Andrea as Kepa started dishing the pancakes.

Our conversation flowed as easily as ever. Love that, no matter the distance or the lack of seen each other daily, our friendship was solid.  I normally face time or talk with them once a week.  Christian always finds it so funny that his teammates and partners get a weekly run of my life and that sometimes that cuts his time with him which I simply remind him that isn’t true as our time is more valuable than anything else.

As we were done, I offered to help clean up and do the dishes but was quickly dismissed.

“No.  Solamente ve a descansar.  Te despertaremos en dos horas.  ¿Está bien?” (“Np.  Simply go and rest.  Will wake you in two hours,  Okay?”)

I nodded but before heading to the bedroom, I got on my tippy toes and kissed both Kepa and Andrea.  I knew rest was need it, so it wasn’t a surprise that as soon as my head touched the pillow, I was out.  Next thing I’m aware of is a hand shaking me slightly from my slumber.  I just groaned, “Not now. I just went to sleep. I’m so tired”.

“Mi niña. Es hora de que te despiertes. Sophia, Kai y Andrea están en la sala esperándote’ (“It is time for you to wake up, my little girl. Waiting for us in the living room are Sophia, Kai, and Andrea”)

Stretching, I opened my eyes and simply nodded.  “Dame 10 minutos y allí estaré” (“Just give me 10 minutes and I be right there”).

Kepa just left the room, closing the door behind him.  I took my time and freshened up before heading to see my friends. As I got closer, their conversation seemed to stop altogether.  Sophia and Kai got up from their spots and engulfed me in a heartfelt hug.

“How was your flight?”, ask Sophia.

“It was okay.  My anxiety got the better part of me, and I just want to see Chris.  I’m glad that I had time to rest but I’m ready to go and be with him”.

Kepa and Kai exchanged a quick look between each other, but not quick enough for me not to intercept it.

“Okay boys, what’s with the look?”

“What look? There was no look”, said Kai.

“Kai Lukas Havertz, you are insulting y/n and our intelligence.  We saw the look between Kepa and you.  What going on?”,  said Sophia hitting Kai’s head.

“Ouch, love!  Okay, just hear us out.  Y/n, after your conversation with Kepa, we started observing Chris more closely.  He was extremely quiet and chose to sit down with Hakim on the way back.  At one point, we saw him texting which we assumed was with you, but instead of being his happy self, as he is normally after your calls, he retrieved more into himself. So, we decided to confront  him after we got home”.

“And how it turns out?”

“Well, we went to Chris’ house and talked for a while.  We know he asked you to give him space and…”

“What do you mean Chris asked y/n for space” said Andrea looking between Kai, Kepa and I.

“Mi amor, let Kai finished” said Kepa still looking towards me.

My eyes were down and the hands on my laps kept playing with the hem of my t-shirt .

“Y/n, what are the boys talking about?”, said Andrea sitting next to me and ignoring Kepa.

“H-he said that he doesn’t want to drag anybody with him, especially not me, and that maybe, he needed some space”.

“Are you giving him the space that he is asking for?  Because Kepa and I don’t think that this is what  he really wants or needs”, said Kai kneeling in front of me.

“Well, I just asked him to let me talk with him.  I love him so much and waited so long to be with him to let others dictate things for us.  I know what he is doing and I’m not okay with it”,

“We cannot tell you what to do but we will support you both.  Things are far from great at club level, and I know that the lack of playing time, and the uncertainty of his future at Chelsea is breaking havoc with Chris’ self-esteem.  You don’t have to be a genius to see this.  He is our friend and, if for any reason, he leaves this club, you and he will always be part of us”, said Kai.

“We are not the only ones feeling this way.  Ben, Mason, and Reece are worried and want to be here for you and him. We don’t think that he wants to leave you, he’s just confused and hurt and thinks that he is not good enough, but he is.  He needs you, and you both need to talk, alone, about all this.  Your future, together, depends on it”.

Finally lifting my eyes, I asked to my friends, “can you, please, take me to him?”

“Do you have your key? We don’t have practice today, so you will have all day to talk with him without any interruptions.  We will make sure of it”.

“I do”.                                                                                                                     “Then let’s get your luggage and take you home”.

And with it, my friends took me home.  The girls tried talking with me and offering a distraction but after a while, they gave up completely and just took hold of my hands.  I was scared, nervous , and my anxiety levels were sky high. But above all, I am certain of what needs to be done.  Fighting for us is something that I can do.  We had come a long way, jumped lots of hurdles to be together.  No room for mistakes here.

“Y/n, y/n.  We are here”.

Sure enough, I looked outside, and we parked outside Chris’ house.  Andrea opened her door and we both exited the car. Kai took my luggage from the car’s trunk and handed it to me.

“Do you want any of us to go in with you? I am not 100% sure but he should stills  be asleep”.

“No, Kai.  Thank you. I am okay.  I-I need to do this on my own. Thanks for everything, and just know that that I love you so much.  All of you”

.“Please call us if you need anything or if you need the boys to come and get you” said Sophia holding me tight.

“I will.  I promise, but I am confident that it will not be necessary”.

I waited by the door, luggage in hand, until their car disappeared down the street.  With a deep sigh  I turned the key in and got into the house turning the alarm off in the process.  Leaving my shoes and luggage by the door, I made my way to Chris’ bedroom.

When I opened the door, my  eyes took some time adjusting to the darkness in the bedroom, even if it was noon. During my last  ,  before international break, we installed these new blinds and curtains to block the sunlight. He wanted to get more rest, and these were ideal for him.  Chris was completely wrapped under the blankets, his face the only thing visible. I loved watching Chris sleep because it is the only time in which he is relaxed and at  peace.

Carefully, I made my way into the bedroom, closing the door as quietly as possible.  I laid down facing him and just kept staring at my handsome boyfriend.  Temptation to touch him won over my desire to let him sleep more.  Gently, I move some curls out of his forehead and with featherlike touches, trace the contour of his cheek’s bones, freckles, and lips.  He started twitching and finally his eyes opened, blinking rapidly to adjust.

“I smelled your perfume.  I thought that it was just my mind playing tricks on me, but  you are here”

His voice was raspy, and it was music to my ears.  I love Chris’ voice in the mornings as it is quieter than normal and possesses a hint of sexiness that’s just so him and awakens the butterflies inside me. I continued the exploration of his face before I could find my voice.

“Hi baby”.

“Hi princess”. His right-hand comes from under the duvet and starts tracing my face with his fingers, just like I am doing to him.

“You are not good at following directions, love”

“When it comes to us, I followed my heart, Chris.  You should know that by now”.

He removed his fingers from my face and with both hands rubbed his instead. “What is the time?”

“12:30”

“When did you arrive? Who picked you up from the airport?” asked Chris while fixing the pillows under him, without losing contact with me.

“I took the red eye from La Guardia, and Andrea and Kepa picked me up this morning.  And before you asked, I stayed with them for a few hours to rest prior to coming here”.

“Y/n…”

“Christian…”

Still trying to chase the sleep away from him, Chris sat in bed, back against me.  Slowly he turns and stares at me for a few minutes.  “Why are you here?  I need time to deal with all that is going on and I don’t want you to be a distraction or to be a target for the fans.  Things are out of control at club level, and I don’t need to add more with your presence here”.

Sitting with my legs crossed, I took a deep breath to calm myself before addressing him. I  need to keep myself balanced and my emotions under control.  He is aware of the pain caused by his words, but his demeanor shows no signs of backing away from this.

“Can you listen to me before taking decisions that will affect us deeply, and our possibilities of a future together?”

“Y/n…”

“Can you just listen?  Please”

“Let me take a shower and we can talk in the living room”.

I stared at him and without any further words, removed myself from the bed, opened the bedroom door and exited quietly.  Three steps away from the closed door, I lean against the wall to steady my shaky legs.  I must be stronger than the situation; Chris’ stubbornness is legendary, and I should prepare myself for what is to come.

I headed to the kitchen, and prepared my favorite tea, which was still in the pantry from before.  I lost track of time, simply gazing at the basketball hoop in the backyard, a cup of tea in one hand. But the moment Chris came to the kitchen, I was aware of it. My entire body tingles, it has been like this for a long time, so I just simply turned around and face a showered and cleaned face Christian, leaning slightly against the door frame looking at me like a starve man.

It has been almost two months since we last saw each other face to face. The person in front of me is a shell of the one that was so happy and carefree during the USA matched against El Salvador.  Chris was happy, relaxed, and enjoying the company of teammates, friends, and family. I can’t believe how good he was at covering and hiding things from me.

“Would you like tea or coffee”.

“No, thanks.  I will just get some water”, he said getting into the kitchen and going around me to grab a glass from the cabinet next to me.

“Chris, please talk to me”.

Slowly, he turned around, getting so close to me.  Instead of the warm feeling that I normally associate with it, a coldness took hold of me.

“I don’t want to hurt you or say something that will cause more problems, y/n but I need you to go home.  I need to do this on my own”.

“Let me help you, Chris”.

“How? Do you know how to fix this? Or how can I get more play time on the field? Or to silence the haters?  This club, my childhood dream, is suffocating me.  I don’t need you or my family to help me.  I just need space and time to fix it.  Be worthy again”, and with that he stormed out of the kitchen towards the living room.

My heart shattered.  I gave him a little breathing room before following him.  He was on the couch, head in his hands.  I sat down next to him, trying to put my thoughts in order.

“Christian, I want you to listen.  If, after I talk with you, you still want me gone, I will respect your wishes and give you the space to deal with this situation on your own terms”

.He turns his head around.  I can sense his defenses building up.

“When you asked me to be your girlfriend, a little before the World Cup, our lives were going in opposite directions.  I was worried about the distance, and how things were going to affect us.  I was worried about being hurt by your fans.  But you had an answer for every single one of my fears and concerns.   You told me that together we could do anything, and I believe in that simply because  I believe in you.  I had been in love with Christian, the man, for quite some time, but I am wary of Christian, the footballer”.

“You broke every single one of my walls, and piece by piece made my life a little better, a little brighter.  The night before leaving for your dream of representing your country on the world stage, you took me aside and asked me to trust you, one more time, to give my heart to you with the promise of never break it or cause me pain. You told me that there will be days in which things will get  hard but that together, we could go through them”.

“We had many obstacles, Chris, but that night I made a promise to you. I told you that I will always be there for you, that I will stand by your side, and that together we will navigate the storms that surely will come our way”.

“The more that I am around you, even as we find ourselves separated by distance and our current activities, the more that I love, and the more that my heart is flooded by love for you.  You had made it impossible to live without you”.

Tears started rolling from his and my eyes. I couldn’t continue.  I had laid it all out, and it was his move. I tried to get off the couch, but his hand  was wrapped around my wrist.

“I am so sorry, princess.  I love you so much  and you are right.  We made all those promises, in what feels like a lifetime ago.  I am not a perfect person, but something that I’m sure of is that I have no right to hold you by my side with all the uncertainty that’s surrounding me at this moment.  I will never forgive myself if anything happens to you; that will made the already existing hole inside me, even bigger”.

“Chris, we were friends with no secrets before we started dating. I should not be telling you how important you are, and always will be in my life”.

“As you are mine. In case you didn’t know, you are the reason to keep fighting.  I just feel lost, babe.  I’m falling without a safety net”.

That caused me to catch my breath.  “You are not alone.  But before we can do something about it, I need to ask you an important question.  I will understand and even support, reluctantly, your decision.  What would you like us to do, together, to fix this?  The football part can be revised but your mental health needs to be addressed. I can step away from you if that will help as I want was best for you.

Immediately, Chris shakes his head now.  “I don’t deserve to be with you.  I’m just a complete failure and…

”Kneeling in front of him. I hold his hand, “stop please.  You are not a failure.  Far from it.  Things will get better, and you will silence all your haters. That I know for sure because it is what you do best”.

“And this is one of the many reasons why I love you.  Thank you for believing in me; for being by my side even when I push you away”.

“And that is all that I ask, Chris.  Don’t cast me away. That will destroy me completely.  That will be the fastest way to hurt me”.

Taking me in his arms, he just whispered in my ear “I’m sorry that I hurt you and I making you a solemn promise to be truthful to myself and you for now on.  The best decision I had ever made was the day I listened to my heart and asked you to be mine.  You are my everything, love”.

After a couple of hours talking with one another, we started healing and preparing to tackle the next set of hurdles coming our way.  Chris finally called his parents, assuring them that everything was okay, that I was with him, which his mom already suspected, and that his girlfriend, me, would catch up with them before heading to camp in June for the Nation’s League semi-finals and finals.

Things were not perfect, and his future at Chelsea was still up in the air, but we knew with certainty that working together and talking things out with one another was the key to our success.   

@neverinadream @chelseagirl98 @lovelynikol16 @notsoattractivearenti @thoseboysinblue @swimmingismywholelife @bracedes @pulisicsgirl @mortirolo @masonsrem @masonspulisic

[bluiex]

I won't ever finish the Cult Au at this rate, damn word deleting my everything.

But I can share some Father Spore Cult AU things I was going to write.

-

Mumbo had been working for a few days now on the house fixing up and painting. Today was one of the days that Scar and Grian were both over helping him paint the kitchen. Going for more colorful in there with sunny yellow walls and soft sage green cabinets. They were mostly chatting, as Scar was asking about Mumbo while Grian listened.

"My dad and mom lived in the city all there lives, I was born and raised there. And we often went out to a country home to spend Holidays with the family." Mumbo told them as he worked on the fixtures. "My dad wasn't a wealthy man, despite how we looked. Where his brother went into business and carpentry, and other things, My dad opted to play trumpet for crowds. He made money enough to get by with our modest apartment." a faint smile on his face.

Mumbo tested the strength of the screws and laughed softly, "There are days I don't understand it, why he chose to live the life he did when he could have made a job at one of his brother's firms... making better money." he continued, then scoffed to himself. "I still think about it though."

A pause after that before Mumbo got up and smiled at Scar as he went over and helped Grian finished making tea. "But," he said, "he always smiled more than his brothers and family, never was a sad day for him, always a joke on his lips and a laugh."

Then Mumbo grinned, "Plus, everyone came to our cabin for all the holidays, after my grandparents gave it to him. Guess that says alot." he picked up a tea cup and then laughed lightly.

"Why am I tell you two all these things?" Mumbo shook his head as he gave Scar his cup.

Scar grinned at him as he sat with them at the table, "Because I asked." he said back simply with a laugh of his own. That he did, Scar started talking about some memories of his, and then asked Mumbo about his family.

"Well I know, but... why did I answer?" Mumbo made a face of confusion, he didn't know why he answered the others questions, or why he liked it when some of them made Grian cackle, or Scar to let out his window wiper wheeze.

He always did feel at ease around the two when they were here helping him fix up the place. They made him feel welcome and special, chatting away about meaningless topics and just enjoying their company. Mumbo hadn't felt like this in a long time.

"Can I ask you both something? It's a thing you told me once before, when showing me around." Mumbo looked at them as Grian sat beside him.

"Shoot!" Grian said in a chipper tone as he chewed on the cookies that Gem gave them.

Gazing at them curiously, Mumbo hummed, "Do you both really believe life is shaped by the yeses over the nos?" he asked them.

Scar had once said that to him, that life tend to revolve around what you say yes to over what you say no too. As the yeses matter more, and impact you more. Smiling faintly, Scar nodded along with Grian, "Oh we absolutely do." he said in a firm and happy tone.

Looking back at his cup Mumbo let out a soft laugh, "I haven't really said 'yes' to much in my life... my mom said I let opportunities pass me by." he admits, eyes cast to the soft amber liquid in the cup.

A hand touched his as he looked over at Grian's smile, "Well, you're not wasting this one at least... everyone here likes you, including us." he promised, which did make Mumbo smile.

That was reassuring, and he really did like this place too. Mumbo could see himself staying here for the long term.

-

I wanted to slowly build up Mumbo falling in love with them as the strange things happened each night. Until the night he was out too late and saw something he shouldn't have.

And in a way have Scarian slowly manipulating Mumbo to saying 'Yes' to joining their mushroom cult later.

Akajdjd Bouta beat up the program deleting your work

But this is so good! Ugh a slow burn of Mumbo falling for them? Getting him to say yes? And the way they interact in this small blurb is just *chefs kiss* I absolutely adore your dialog and pacing

[malka-lisitsa]

For the mun on a writing level or.. muse level, how do you tackle a controversial character or topic? Like.. you know it stirs up interest in both good and bad.

Novi's advice column

The absolute first thing you need to know is that this is tumblr, and someone is always going to have a problem with you no matter what you do. Straight up- Someone is going to hate you no matter how hard you try to avoid it. So just accept that right out of the gate you will in fact always piss someone off whether you have controversial shit in your portrayal or not.

Once you've accepted that- then you really just have to decide who you're writing for and what you want out of your tumblr experience. Personally, I think you should always write for your muse first, you second, and your audience last. Your muse deserves to be done justice not chopped up and spun into bite sized little pieces more palatable for the puritan crowd on tumblr. If your muse is a bad person, play your muse as a bad person. If your muse is a murder, con artist, kidnapper, whatever the fuck- keep them that way.

Put a trigger warning in your pinned, on your card, and in a bio, make sure to tag your threads where you need to and most people will either not follow to avoid the topic, or block the tag so they don't see it on the dash. You will get trolls, if you can't handle the butt hurt people telling you how to run your blog because they clearly speak for everyone everywhere and definitely know what's best for the entirety of tumblr- I suggest you turn OFF anon, because those people are all cowards and wont have the guts to say it to your face <3

Like I said most people will simply block or not follow and you'll be fine- a lot of people have very specific topics as deal breakers in their rules, so defo make sure you're also looking for those before you follow. The long and the short of it is, is that when it comes to muses who have done, are doing, and will do shitty things your audience is going to be smaller- but this is the internet and there is an audience for EVERYTHING and I do mean EVERYTHING.

You simply have to decide what's more important to you, the topic, or your audience/writing partners. I always advocate for keeping your muse pure and NOT cherry picked. Villains are supposed to make people uncomfortable that's why they're villains. Morally grey characters are supposed to make questionable and concerning choices, that's why they're morally grey. If your muse did something controversial in their past, chances are it had a huge part of shaping who they are or the people around them today and it's not fair to erase that.

So, how I handle it PERSONALLY- I have in my pinned I refuse to water Katherine down and she absolutely IS a morally grey character and does some pretty shitty things. I also state that she has a lot of trauma I wont water down either. Make the topic(s) clear up front and then communicate with the people who do choose to write with you, and be cognitive of their triggers/hard nos. After that there's nothing else to really do. You write your character the way they're meant to be written, and anyone who has a problem with that doesn't have to follow.

[mushpired]

I know that is usually ghost the one that doubts getting in a relationship with soap, but let me switch it up, mainly because I like to make my favorite characters suffer, but also because I like projecting, so, yeah

Angst warning? With a happy ending don’t worry.Idk, I’m new to writing, and English isn’t my first language so, please excuse any grammar mistakes. I will also include my personal headcannons for the characters, but I’ll try my best to not switch it too much? May be ooc

_______________________________________________

No soy para ti

(Im not for you)

A ghostsoap fanfic

Soap was sitting in the common room of the base, the old couch slightly uncomfortable, but he wasn’t about to be picky about it, his team hadn’t been given a mission in a while, and he was starting to get restless. Logically, he knew that he still had other chores, but they didn’t compare to being out in the field. The young sergeant had been doing everything to keep himself busy, from his normal duties like training recruits and filling paperwork, to things that only worked to use some time and to distract himself, like drawing and training.

<¿Cuánto amor desaparecerá?

¿Cuánto tiempo más tendremos que llorar?>

Now, he had already done all of that, so that’s how he ended up here, Gaz was laying with his head on his lap, while Soap gently carded his fingers through his best friend’s hair, the two being the youngest on the team made it really easy to become friends, and he was really grateful for that, life on base could get quite lonely sometimes, he was used to being lonely really, people found him annoying and impulsive, and most people took his extroverted personality as an excuse to call him dumb just because he didn’t mind sharing with others. He hated that, how people underestimated him just because of how he acted on his free time. And really, he had been underestimated a lot in his life, treated as nothing, so at one point, he had actually stopped trying to prove people wrong. He simply acted how people expected, older ones treated him as a child, so he offered no respect to them (except for Price and Laswell, they never underestimated his abilities, even praised him for them) people his age often treated him as just someone to have fun with, never offering help when he needed it, never being there for him ( Gaz proved him wrong on that one, he was always there for him when his brain became too much, and the sounds too loud) and the ones he was interested in treated him as nothing but a pretty face with a nice body to fuck, he was nothing but that, something that people could use when they wanted, and he hated, hated, hated-

<Mejor que acabe aquí

Mejor dejarte ir

Si nos queremos tanto, ¿para que sufrir?>

A noise and a hand from the man on his lap brought him out of that self deprecating tirade his brain was going on, bless Gaz and his ability to read him when things got bad.

“Hey man, you ok? I lost you there” he said, as he used his hand to place soap’s own hand on his head again, making him continue with the soft touches, that bastard was like a cat sometimes.

“Aye, sorry man, got quite lost there” he replied, as he continued with the caresses on his friends head.

“Don’t hesitate to tell me, ok, you know I’m here for you, Soap” those words, no matter how many times he said them, always created a lump on his throat, the genuine care always made him weak.

“Aye, sergeant” he replied, with a teasing manner

“Asshole” the other man laughed, as he swatted at soap’s thigh, all in a good manner of course

The laughed for a while before Gaz went back to closing his eyes, and Soap simply stayed there, for once enjoying the peace and quiet, the sun was just starting to set, the orange light making the scene quite warm. Of course, peace never lasted much in a military base, as the loud voice of their captain entered the room, making him jump slightly and Gaz groggily opened his eyes, the man had been entering the sleep realm, it seemed. He laughed internally at that.

Price was entering the room, Ghost behind him, they looked at the two on the couch, Price raising an eyebrow at the intimate moment they seemed to walk into, and Ghost, oh that man, looked at them with something in his eyes, Johnny may have even described it as jealousy, but what would he even be jealous about? Johnny was simply making things up at this point.

Price sat on a wooden chair near the couch, while ghost simply leaned on the table near the wall, crossing his arms.

“Gentlemen, I see you getting quite cozy here, we didn’t interrupt anything right” the old man said with an annoying voice, Price knew of his crush on the masked man, and he was always annoying about it, he regretted telling him sometimes.

“Yeah yeah, what is it captain?” Said Gaz, quite annoyed that his sleep had been interrupted.

“Just checking in, ran into Ghost here at the hallways and forced him to come, I know that no mission can be quite frustrating, specially after Las Almas” and yes, he was right, Las Almas felt like year ago, when in reality, Soap was still being bothered by the pain of that gunshot.

“Something tells me we ain’t gonna be moving any time soon, mm?” Said Soap, Gaz was still on his lap, but was now playing with Soap’s hands, it was quite relaxing for both.

“Exactly” said Price with a heavy sigh “we haven’t been informed of any mission, so we will be basically grounded on base for a while, of course, everyone still has their duties, but yeah”

Ghost, who has been silently watching the room, straightened up and sat on other of the wooden chairs. And really, Soap knew he was down bad for that man, because no one ever looked so beautiful while doing something as simple as walking for heavens sake!

“So? That’s all Price? I know you didn’t drag me here just for that” said the man with the mask, quite annoyed at not being in his room right now.

“That’s all the news really” he said, but continued with “ I know you all had been barely taking care of yourselves, so you will all stay here while I make dinner, understood?” He finished with a no-nonsense tone, it wasn’t a request, nor a question, it was an order.

Gaz and him often joked about the captain being like a dad, but even while joking, that never failed to warm his heart, so he stayed there, waiting for dinner, like they weren’t all men who killed for a living.

________________. _________________

Ghost was still sitting at the table. Dinner had ended, Gaz had already left to his room, Price following shortly after, complaining about some paperwork he still had to complete, that left him alone with Johnny, the man was quiet, simply enjoying being there. Ghost was enamoured with that man, he was almost obsessed with him, and wasn’t that a dangerous thought, the Scot has broken through his walls, and took a place in his cold heart. Damn him.

He has to admit, walking in the room and seeing that scene with his Johnny really made his stomach move , knowing that the man is not his, and also knowing there’s nothing but pure friendship going on between the two sergeants, but still, jealousy was quite a bitch. He still felt the need to ask, just for his own peace of mind, if the man had something for the other sergeant, just to soothe the jealousy or stop giving himself hope, he preferred the former one.

Maybe he was becoming dumber, because he found himself asking “Hey Johnny, are you and Gaz… something?” He immediately felt like slapping himself for such and idiotic question, he was The Ghost, a cold murdered, not some high school girl with a crush, for fucks sake!

“What? No! Why would you say that!” Replied soap, looking almost scandalized. It was kinda funny.

“Just asking, I guess even I am able to be curious” lame answer, gods! What was happening to him, why was he suddenly hopeful.

“Nah, we just friend you ken? It’s kinda hard to make friends in our line of work” said the scot, looking kinda sad.

“Yeah… I know” it had suddenly turned grim, the atmosphere, if making, and keeping friends was hard, love was almost impossible, right?

—————————————————————————-

Soap didn’t know what to say, that realization, saying it out loud, it was kinda sad, knowing there was no chance for love, love was a mistake in this line of work, one could only hope of living past 30, and love was not for those destined to die a horrible death.

Si eras tan feliz, tan feliz

Ya no pierdas tiempo, da vuelta atrás

He was not meant to love.

He was not meant to be loved.

He would never be loved.

Ghost, would never love him.

<No soy para ti, no soy para ti

No seré siempre joven, mi amor

Así es mejor>

With the vibes of the room now ruined, he decided to go sulk in his room, where no one could see, or hear him.

“ Hey L.T, imma head to bed, see ya tomorrow sir” he said, and started a fast almost desperate pace to his room, not even waiting for ghost to respond, his footsteps were almost erratic, his nails pressing, piercing the skin of his hand with how strong he had balled up his fists, he was barely able to see where he was going, muscle memory being the only things taking him to his room on shaky legs.

Just when he felt like he was reaching his room, a voice and a hand on his shoulder made him turn and flinch away.

Ghost.

Ghost had followed him, he was speaking to him, but he couldn’t hear him, he felt like he was under water, good heavens, he probably looked like a fool, an idiot, hyperventilating on the hallways for no reason. Fuck, Ghost will think he’s a mess, that he’s useless, that he’s an idiot, fuck fuck fuck FUC-

Suddenly, his head was pressed against a chest, one ear listening to a heartbeat, the other covered by a big hand, safe.

“-ey, hey, Soap, you hear me?”

Ghost was holding him, pulling him up, above water.

Soap never wanted to move, he wanted to float on this mans chest forever.

He closed his eyes and tried to match his breathing to the steady heartbeat.

—————————————————-

Shit, Ghost didn’t know what he was even doing, sure, he has had his fair share of panic attacks, but that doesn’t mean he knows how to help someone through one.

“Johnny, you with me?” He said tentatively, as he felt the man begin to relax.

“Aye, ‘m sorry, I dinnae ken what happened, I’m sorry” said soap, and god, why would he think he has to apologize, he would forgive everything Johnny could ever do without even him asking.

“Don’t apologize, happens to the best of us” he said, then he added “do you … want to talk.. about what caused this?”

“I… don’t really, I, just go L.T , please” said Johnny as he pulled away, turning away from him, and ghost wanted nothing but hug that man, cut himself open, and let Soap have a place in his own rib age, somewhere no one could ever hurt him.

“Was it about what we said?? About relationship in our line of work?” He tried communicating, and just like that, Soap tensed, jackpot.

“Please, just leave, please” ghost couldn’t leave, he couldn’t leave this man here, like this, how could he ever part from this man, who clearly needed someone.

“Johnny I… I don’t know what’s going on inside your head, but let me understand, tell me” he tried with a soft approach, but he didn’t expect what happened next.

<Sabes bien que te lo advertí

¿Cuántas veces más tendremos que morir?>

“I SAID GO, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY ROOM! LEAVE ME ALONE, LET ME ROT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! GO ON SAY HOW STUPID I AM! GO! GET OUT!” Soap shouted, tears down his face, his features turned into something hurt, and ghost knew at that moment, even with the anger pooling in his gut, that this man, that Soap, that Johnny, was beautiful.

<Debemos controlar la sensibilidad

Tienes tanta vida, ¿para qué llorar?>

“WHY WOULD I EVER DO THAT! DO YOU REALLY THINK I COULD DO THAT TO SOMEONE I LOVE?! DO YOU THINK I WOULD DO THAT TO YOU!? FOR FUCKS SAKES JOHNNY! JUST TALK TO ME!” He said , and fuck.

He just said to this man that he love him.

He was fucked.

——————————————————

Okayyy so this is getting long, so I will definitely do a second part during this week, tell me if it’s something you would like to read!

The title is by “ No soy para ti” by Mon Laferte.

Please leave your comments! They would be very much appreciated!

[formlessing]

An entry in my imaginary diary about my lack of inspiration

Dear Diary,

I've always wanted to keep a diary. Unfortunately, I've never had the discipline to write every day. Worse: I don't think I care enough about myself to take such a commitment. My internal states are not a topic I find that interesting to wallow in. Once (or twice), I tried tracking my moods; this was basically logging an emoji every day on some silly little app; just pick one, no questions asked: happy-face, sad-face, nothing-face. But I couldn't convince myself this information mattered. It's either noise or useless cartography.

Some time ago the habit of endless self-analyzing made sense. I knew nothing. Eventually, I knew too much. The final verdict was trite: I'm a human and a woman. All else follows. There is almost nothing about me and my perceptions I can't derive from these two facts. How I receive the world and what I project back into it, all the probable iterations; everything I know about people applies to me somehow, and vice-versa. I can't think of myself anymore as an individual, even though I'm a committed individualist in most practical matters. It's a weird self-feeding-self-effacing largesse of spirit, a boundary destruction tool. (I must admit this is an isolated phenomenon inside my consciousness and, sadly, it doesn't affect my pragmatism and common sense. First and foremost, I'm a high decoupler.)

[Agora eu sinto vontade de escrever alguma coisa. Como se alguém estivesse gritando nos confins da minha alma (qual alma?) numa língua que eu não entendo. Eu queria escrever em português, mas me falta naturalidade – não me sobrou naturalidade nenhuma. Minha percepção é absolutamente difusa, amorfa. O que eu poderia escrever quando estou convencida de que o ato consiste em pouco mais do que a vaidade de condensar, limitar, domar e corromper? Estou mais interessada em espalhamentos que constrições. Eu tento escrever e o que escrevo são meros artifícios. Não existe mais um "Eu" pra traduzir o que eu penso, tudo não passa de um exercício criativo do éter para o éter. Não há mais o ímpeto que surge da necessidade. Em algum momento, houve uma dissolução irreversível de quem eu sou, de quem eu fui.]

I have been disconnected from my native self a long time ago, it is gone for good. Sometimes I look around for her in strange places and find nothing. Nada. I guess it's really over, not even memories remain. I don't know who is screaming, I can't really recognize this voice. I'm trying really hard to care about this. To care about her. I can't. I hate to say it, I honestly do, and believe me, I am very ashamed about saying this, I think it's terrible but I will be vulnerable for once: I suspect my mind has been coopted by some universal consciousness. (Please stop now and notice my face. It's not entirely straight while I'm telling you this. Yes, my methods for self-deprecation are very baroque. Also, it is very hard to be vulnerable.) Nonetheless, the truth is: there are very few things that can fill my mind with such terror as imagining I will have to live another life; being trapped in Samsara once more; being back to the forced labor of self-expression.

Although I'm still not part of that great luminous ball out there and am little more than a conscious sack of meat and bones, I have accepted everything there was to accept. I have found my way through every existential loophole—there is nothing else to resolve. Now I'm just someone who waits. I'm in peace (R.I.P). I don't have any extraordinary feelings about this world, nor do I have some great new insight about the nature of ordinary things. My mind is eerily still. Everything is indeed very simple, even when terribly important, even when sublime and sacred, disgusting or demonic. I'm lost in the obviousness of things, or maybe I'm lost in the impenetrability of things. My head is filled with either platitudes or incomprehensible babble. I am unable to communicate anything properly or interestingly. I'm drifting. Or I'm finally rooted. It's the same—everything is the same thing as everything else, only at different levels. "Form is Emptiness, Emptiness is form. Emptiness does not differ from form, and form does not differ from Emptiness." Excuse my clichés.

At some moment in my life I walked back to get a better view and went too far. Now everything is just an indistinguishable point in space. A tiny dot in a sea of dots. Another pearl in the net. And I'm just another dot, or just another pearl with no special luster. Either way, I can't make myself care. I lack the agony to write. My agony is just meta-agony. Sorry, Thays. May you find your inspiration to write some other day.

[ultraani]

Even though it feels incredibly overwhelming at times, I still don't know why I feel like this isn't the end of it. Sometimes I do, like a very faint whisper that maybe says that I don't? And thus my - what feels like - an eternal tug-of-war of thoughts over you continues.

I want you to know that I really do love you, as I sit and write this on 7/21/24 at 11:18pm. I don't necessarily know what I'm trying to get out of this.

I try not to consume the inmense amount of dating content out there because it just winds me up and creates turbulence in my mind once again.

I'd love to think that in the end I mattered even a fraction of what you mattered to me. And maybe, just maybe, you actually meant what you said. And would've loved to date me too had the conditions been met.

Nos vemos, Sav. Kabhi nehi

[vcw-rp]

ㄒㄖ 匚ㄖ几Ɋㄩ乇尺 ㄒ卄乇 千ㄩㄒㄩ尺乇

🅞🅝🅔 🅞🅕 🅜🅐🅝🅨 🅣🅗🅘🅝🅖🅢 🅐 🅒🅞🅝🅠🅤🅔🅡🅞🅡 🅣🅐🅚🅔🅢 🅘🅝🅣🅞 🅣🅗🅔🅘🅡 🅞🅦🅝 🅗🅐🅝🅓🅢...

“The first thing that a lot of us think about when we look to the stars is tomorrow… I’ve looked at the stars every day since failing to win the Queen of the Vixens Tournament, and despite the loss, I still know where I intend to go here in VCW. I still intend to conquer, to become champion… And as you can see, my efforts in the Queen of the Vixens Championship Tournament have been acknowledged… As I look to the stars and imagine what tomorrow looks like, I don’t stop there… I look to the FUTURE…“ Rosa would walk towards a painting inside of a small building, one that resembles her with the Future of VCW Championship in hand…

“AND I SEE LA MERA MERA AS YOUR NEW FUTURE OF VCW CHAMPION…” Clips of Rosa training for her match would flash over the screen...

“Trinity, I am coming to Mayhem this week to let you know that your number ends at 116… Yes, chica, for 116 days, you’ve held the Future of VCW Championship, but where’s the ‘HEART AND SOUL’ that you promised to sell to it?” Clips of Trinity’s title win at Love Bites over Skye Blue, as well as her championship celebration on the 3/11/2024 episode of Mayhem would flash over the screen…

“While you’ve been champion, THE ELITES HAVE BEEN DEFINING THEMSELVES. While you’ve been hoarding a title that’s been seen as little as possible, I’ve beaten the woman that you beat to earn the title. While you had months to show everyone that you were the FUTURE OF VCW, you’ve shown us all that as long as you are the champion, the slate is blank, the future is bleak…” Nothing would appear on the screen for a moment, other than the effects of a flash-bang grenade, temporarily blinding us…

🅘🅢 🅣🅗🅔 🅕🅤🅣🅤🅡🅔 🅣🅗🅐🅣 🅜🅐🅝🅨 🅦🅘🅛🅛 🅘🅝🅗🅔🅡🅘🅣 🅐🅛🅘🅝🅖🅢🅘🅓🅔 🅣🅗🅔🅜...

“All of the heart and soul that has been promised before, will finally be gifted to this title. And those who dare to step into the path of the next Future of VCW Champion, the Unstoppable Thunder Rosa, you would all be wise to take a good look at Trinity and see how that all works out for you, because when a queen has her crown taken away from her in front of her people by a conqueror, it should be a showcasing of how resourceful, how intelligent, how powerful and how well grounded the conqueror really is… I’ve got the support of the people, and that’s just going to make it even better, Trinity… You’re an under-appreciated talent, a fighter, when the world tried to put you down and chain you to the floor, you ripped those chains to pieces and you showed us all what you’re capable of, and I commend you for it. It’s not in my character to discredit someone who’s gone out there to earn their flowers…” A few clips of Trinity’s performances throughout WWE and TNA would flash over the screen before Rosa regained the focus…

“WHERE IS THAT TRINITY? ¿Perdiste el BRILLO que siempre nos dices que sintamos (Did you lose the GLOW that you’re always telling us to feel)? I want the Trinity that DEMANDED that her opponent feel the glow each and every time she stepped into the ring, I want the Trinity that was immediately among the best of the best in TNA when she walked into the company, because the Trinity that’s held the Future of VCW Championship and done nothing with it for more than 100 days is sickening to me… I WANT TO FEEL THE GLOW… Y luego, una vez que se haya sentido el brillo, La Mera Mera tiene que mostrarte por qué es (And then, once the glow’s been felt, La Mera Mera has to show you why she’s) UNSTOPPABLE… The GLOW isn’t gonna hit the right places as hard as the THUNDER this week on Mayhem, chica, and it doesn’t matter if you somehow wake up that woman we all know you to be, I am bringing the Future of VCW Championship to the Elite Collective of Wrestling…” Rosa would point to the camera, stepping out of the shadows to show us her war paint for the upcoming match…

“MI FUTURO SERÁ TU PRESENTE (MY FUTURE WILL BE MY PRESENT)! Rosa would gaze into the camera, with passion and excitement as the video came to an end, with La Mera Mera promising to defeat Trinity this week on Mayhem to win the Future of VCW Championship…

[automatismoateo]

I'm tired of staying quiet via /r/atheism

I'm tired of staying quiet

Throaway account--

Tl;dr: We need to stop being passive, and start calling religious people out on being horrible human beings.

So, for many different reasons, I am a member of the US Military. Mostly, it's due to personal reasons. Now, I definitely don't live and die military. Or white and blue, for that matter.

If you are not aware of it, the military tries to accept and protect all religions or lack thereof, but it is inherently Christian. Most chaplains you meet are Christians or were raised Christians. A lot of upper leadership, you guessed it, are Christians, because they're old and that's how they grew up.

This isn't inherently an issue, but it can be, especially if left uncontrolled.

Now, this post isn't just about the military aspect of it. In fact, I am making this post to hopefully help you build some courage to stand up for others, even at the cost of your own comfort. Keep it in mind, however, that there are many layers to this post, so I understand you may disagree with some of my points.

Now, to the story:

My immediate shop "leader" is a Christian, with a big C. He loves and dies Jesus, and goes to Church every Sunday. To no one's surprise, he is also extremely conservative. Loves guns, loves big T, big DeS, loves his submissive wife, loves low corporate taxes, loves poor people, loves the uneducated, loves people without melanin on their skin, hates homeless veterans, the whole thing.

In the past, he has gotten in trouble for saying the big no-nos out loud: Being openly racist, homophobic, antisemitic, etc.. He shut his mouth for a little while, but like any other true Christian, he felt like he can't be silenced and his true colors just NEED to show. He's now back to saying anything that's on his mind, as long as he feels like he's with his safe group. Sometimes he lets it slip, though.

Being in the Military, we are obviously known to curse a lot. We curse, we say stupid shit, we talk about controversial topics, etc.. It's all obviously unprofessional, but they can't fire us, so who cares, right? On the flip side, since they can't fire you, some people think they can just openly be the same shitty fucking person they are at home, at work.

If that happens, there are one of two things we usually do when this comes from those above us. 1) Shut up and pretend to be on their side so we don't get fucked over or 2) Report the actions to the inspector general (not to management, because they'll likely just slap them on the wrist and tell them to not do it again). The problem is, the IG isn't as helpful as you'd think, because mission takes precedence a lot of times.

So you're essentially left with option #1, since you don't want to be any more miserable at work than you already are.

Except that, you know, this shit has been going too far for far too long.

Not just in the Military, but outside even. For too long, these Christians have been allowed to roam the country and spout the most racist and homophobic shit with no consequences because they know no one will do anything. They'll take your freedom because it doesn't align with their vision of what freedom is. They'll take away your books because it makes them look bad. They'll take your children from you, because you are in love with the wrong person.

For too long, they have been allowed in positions of power, making the lives of anyone with opposing views miserable.

So, for my own mental health, I have decided I need to speak up, even if it'll get me in trouble. At work, I have started calling my superior out on his bullshit Christian values in front of others. Any comment he makes that is out of line, I'll tell him how "that's not very Christian of you." Hates homeless veterans? "Wow, what would God say about helping others?" "Loves that Mexicans are being shipped to Brandon's house?" Yep, what good morals you have!

Once in a while, he'll feign ignorance and ask me what I mean. I grew up Catholic, so I'll tell him that I don't remember being taught to be so ignorant, so selfish, and just overall a bad person.

Overall, I am just trying to make people realize how fucking disgusting he is. For a long time, I used to think that "whatever bad values you have, just leave them at home." I have come to realize that is wrong, too. No, don't leave that shit at home. Don't go home to beat your wife because she didn't make dinner, or your kids because they talked back. That is exactly what this country has done for the last few decades, and it has all come to bite us in the ass.

For too long we have kept quiet. We have let people pass on these horrible traits to their children. Their children grew up thinking that diversity is bad, that God is the only thing that matters and any opposition is inherently wrong. They grew up being told that a woman's place is in the kitchen, that black people are inferior, that poor people don't deserve to be helped. They grew up knowing only Christian hatred, and they're becoming loud once again.

Here is how I see it: the people who are supposed to be there to help you, guide you, bring you the "love of God," are the most judgemental, pieces of shit human beings I have ever met. They'd rather let you rot in misery before helping you. I'm not talking about giving you money in the time of need, or a bed during a cold night out. I'm talking about helping society become better for everyone, not just the people they deem worthy.

They will tell you in your face that rape is justified, that only their definition of love is what matters, that kids deserve to die of cancer because "God works in mysterious ways." They'll spit you in the face and tell you it's your fault. They'll do this with no remorse, because they know that on Sunday someone will tell them that they did God's work.

These people have roamed free of consequences for far too long, and they've gotten too comfortable. They deserve to know when they're out of line, and we clearly we need to remind them of it.

Please, do your neighbor, your friend, your family member, and do society a favor: don't stay quiet anymore. Don't expect to change these people minds, but let's aim to influence those arounds us.

Let's be the change that needs to be made, one voice at a time.

Submitted March 05, 2023 at 06:25PM by religionequashatred (From Reddit https://ift.tt/K7UAnos)