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#and i get it’s not like. malicious on purpose most the time
lilgynt · 2 years
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i really got to get better at saying no and just not doing things i don’t want to do. like i know abuse sexual and non literally beat that out of me but i am sick of my nos never being taken seriously and i never push beyond the initial no bc that IS me trying my best i just got to get into my cunt era
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hammerhead-jpg · 3 months
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Okay but how have I never gotten any kind of hateful comment/reblog/ask 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨 there's no way all of you like me 🤨🤨🤨🤨
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unproduciblesmackdown · 7 months
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ppl will be explaining how a difference is a difference & not a Deviation from a Superior state, & people who are the ones considered Default Normal (superior) will be like "okay....to be polite....i Might say i consider Some aspects of Some people's existence mere 'difference' & not being less than me...." as like hey i'm a Benevolent god. i still actually get to consider you worse & don't have to "humor" anything that challenges my superiority. if you only want everything to fit into the norm then it will all come back to upholding the norm. thinking of people's analysis of their own realities as equally legimate as being like Obscure, Irrelevant, Superficial & then using that reasoning to justify dismissing them. same as worrying that the [Different Lessers (Others(tm))] as Everywhere = a manifestation of the awareness that, yeah, respecting them as equals Does threaten your norm which is smothering everything everywhere. ppl who need to lock in the idea of Borders around personhood like um Yes they're all delineated separate Identities outside any hierarchy & so i think it's relevant to for some reason push back against "ohh so now Everyone's queer" like why not. why couldn't they be. what if they were. what if queerness was everywhere b/c it's ideological not a cordoned off Alternative Identity that is accommodated by focusing on Love(tm) as the new border around whose existence we might begrudgingly accept at arm's length (i.e. being otherwise "normal"! just imagine swapping out the binary gender (or, deep breath, presumed Private Parts) of one partner in an exclusive romantic lifelong nuclear family marriage, & that is Gay / Trans Rights. still gross but maybe we can do it, as long as they don't talk about it or shove it in our faces or even exist for more than one encounter w/us in our lives b/c what are the odds). evergreen laughing at someone suggesting ableist logic might be embedded in language of past & present b/c it's just So little to ask for that it's irrelevant but it's also So much to ask for that of course i'm not gonna do anything more than pass it along like "this is why i don't take ableism seriously" like yeah it's the disabled randos like it's the individual cringe teens(tm) ruining [the cishets would take Gender seriously otherwise!!!] & that's why you won't think about it or do anything about it & continue being comfortable with the norm & resent that actually their Difference is Less & disability is something worse that ppl "excuse" & all these ways that people are & all these things that they do are funny & weird & inexplicable & etc & one can't possibly be cruising along perpetuating a hierarchy with a sense that you're reasonable, well meaning, kind, etc etc & thus Justified, systemic oppression definitely wants to maximize how uncomfortable & arduous it feels to everyone rather than push to make it more streamlined & rewarding to embrace, or at least accept, whatever superiority over others you're afforded
#circled around to lovelessness as a lens there. so long as one was loving. so long as one wasn't consciously malicious#really just mask off about keeping the same perspective of Superiority when conflating disability & ppl ''making excuses''#same as like e.g. that ppl consider everything an autistic person does as being Bad / Wrong / Worse. (this includes ''unskilled''!!!)#(crushing the Social Skills(tm) framework in talking abt allistic difference in my fist)#such that they think sm1 saying Autistic!! is then something they might be unfairly Beholden to to Put Up With their Wrongness#at special times in special scenarios....rather than like in some contexts you are no more ''right'' than the other party#different groups & cultures whose Norms Standards & Expectations could render You presumed rude thoughtless pushy etc#obvious overlaps to consider re: the Norms of like english speaking as ''universal'' someone noticeably speaking it as nth language?#time to Presume their ideas & contributions are Less. if they had the good brain like you their fluency would render their linguistic#Wrongness in having a diff 1st language invisible thus irrelevant. like the ''ideal'' for disability! as the ''ideal'' for anyone Passing#in any way! queer ppl surely all want to be as proximate to cishet ideals (just as cishet ppl should!) nonwhite ppl to Ideal White#women's rights = Proving they're As Good As men. ladies you're using too many exclamation points!! be Confident be Pushier!!#but ofc nobody actually wants the Others(tm) to be Equal. they're just saying ''it's your innate Wrongness that means you Aren't''#the ableism logic in everything. men just Are better at xyz. oh we Can abuse autists...into being as proximate to allistic as possible!!#just actually means ''oh we Can abuse autists.'' the ''correctness'' is your Difference ''intruding'' less into allistic existence#force you to be harmed & diminished all day then save your meltdowns for when you're alone & out of the way#ppl's tweets like ''when ppl say 'omg too sensitive ofc i wasn't talking abt disabled ppl!' like yeah no shit b/c you never think of#disabled ppl'' like yeah most people idk aren't making their life's agenda to stop everyone from saying Stupid#but like believe me people organically sense the Vintage R words when you get called Idiot in exactly the same spirit & purpose#i mean that's so rworded as in that's so gay!! cmon!! & it's fine if you don't say either to gay ppl or. or. [insert the office quote]#oh i don't call um 20th c disabled ppl morons it's bad taste!! but b/c i use it Figuratively in the present it's fine it's so Different#fr i can't remember like. an article w/1 matter of fact sentence from a doctor using a [now Just a childish insult!!] as Diagnostic Label#for someone's disability & it still registered like ice water in the face. presumably no ''especial'' Malice just matter of fact!#it wasn't ''idiot'' it may have been ''moron'' fr. the vintage ''factual'' r word is There plain as day#like yeah ofc the ableism gets channeled into alternate language. & then complaints abt that is like UGH CMON!!!#like idk shouldn't you be fine using the R word then too? not really sweating this issue thee most all thee time either but like#it's not sooo funny even if someone seems pressed extensively abt it. not that hard to in fact just not use all these words all the time#ppl will be throwing out their ableism w/o Any labels talking about how Weird Offputting Etc someone acts so you can Tell they're bad....#and yeah you should think abt that. anytime. the [difference used to categorize ''other'' is Just difference] Is Everywhere All The Time#the idea it can & should be ''contained'' for especial limited specific occasions (when you're feeling Nice!) = upholding the status quo
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makedamnsvre · 10 months
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looking at some of these people online are making me think it should be legal and even encouraged for me to kill these people with hammers.
#i dont even know how to insult these people like at this point i just straight up think they dont deserve life LAWL#like. look in the comments on most instagram videos and tell me there is no such thing as a worthless human#someone has an exotic cat breed and in the video says that they would not recommend this cat breed to Anyone because#this cat is very high maintenance and constantly begs to be left outside and shows some clips on this guy walking the cat on a leash#in an obviously urban area and the comments are like 'i live on a farm and i always let my cats outside youre cruel for locking her up'#and this person is having to explain a trillion times that if they let her off leash outside that She Will Be Stolen.#justoh my god. did you not see where this guy lives ?? she will either get hit by a car drink antifreeze or get stolen. what even#and thats just a milder example of someone whos just kinda willfully ignorant and stupid. there is sososo much worse stuff#i cant even begin to explain just how much i want these people to get dropped in the middle of the pacific ocean and left to die#i just genuinely dont think there is hope for these people to be honest like. theres just no way to describe them other than stupid#but its worse than stupid its worse than willful ignorance it has to be at this point just some kind of purposeful pure malice#towards the concept of humanity . there is just no way to get that stupid and deeply genuinely maliciously ignorant on accident#i feel like there is just. genuine unintended ignorance and then theres just pure malice. honestly even if it isnt the effect is the same#i think they should get killed with hammers
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halfdeadwallfly · 11 months
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thinking about how fucked up it is that older family members treat kids like they owe them hugs and physical affection and get mad when kids aren't happy at having their personal space invaded without their permission
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headspace-hotel · 2 years
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re: ohio chemical disaster
OP of the post I reblogged earlier regarding this turned off reblogs (understandable have a nice day) but I got a request to put the information in its own post, so here.
First thing: PLEASE be careful about claims that "The Media" is suppressing something as part of a malicious agenda, or that an event has been purposefully manufactured by "The Media" to distract from something else.
Not only is this a really common disinformation tactic (not only urging you to share/reblog quickly, but discouraging you from fact checking), treating "The Media" as a monolithic entity with purposeful agency and a specific, malicious agenda—particularly one that manufactures events to "distract" from other events—is a red flag for conspiracy theories.
There's already a post in the tag attributing the supposed lack of media coverage to "reptilians." Please connect the dots here.
Second—"the news isn't focusing on this as much as I think they should" is not a media blackout. Every major USA news source is reporting on the Ohio train derailment. Googling returns at least 4 pages of results from major news media sources. Even just googling "Ohio" gets you plenty of results about it.
This is an unusual amount of media attention for a U.S. environmental disaster.
Because this kind of thing happens all the damn time.
The "media blackout" narrative gives the impression that this is an unusual event that isn't receiving wall to wall coverage only because it's being suppressed—when the reality is that similar disasters happen a lot, and hardly ever get the attention the Ohio disaster is getting.
Consider this example, not too far from my local area: A few years ago, almost 2,000 tons of radioactive fracking waste were illegally dumped in an Eastern Kentucky municipal landfill, directly across from a middle school. Leachate from that landfill goes into the Kentucky River, which is where most of the central part of the state gets its drinking water. As far as we know, the radioactive waste isn't leaking yet, but it could start leaking at any time.
Zero national news sources covered this. Why? If I was to hazard a guess, I would say "because it's business as usual for the fossil fuel industry."
Consider also the case of Martin County, KY, which has had foul-smelling, contaminated drinking water for decades. Former coal country in Appalachia is poisoned and toxic, and laws have little power to punish the companies that created the destruction.
What happened in Ohio is just a little window into a whole world of horrors.
The Martin County coal slurry spill that is still poisoning the water 20 years later killed literally everything in the water for miles downstream (a book Mom read said 70 miles of the Ohio river were made completely lifeless). It was 30 times larger than the Exxon-Valdez oil spill, and it was in some sense "covered up"—in the sense that the Bush administration shut down the investigation because the Republicans are buddies with the fossil fuel industry, and proceeded to relax regulations even further.
Seriously, read that wiki article to get pissed enough to eat glass.
Hopefully the Ohio chemical spill will inspire real action to institute regulations to prevent shit like this from ever happening again. It's not the end of the world. It's not radically different from what industries have been causing the whole damn time. It is pretty bad.
I would urge everyone to actually search up information about it instead of getting news from Tiktok or Twitter, because the more false information gets distributed, the less momentum any effort to respond with improved regulations and changes to prevent future disasters will have. Plenty of facts here *are* public and being publicly discussed and pretending that they're not is actively detrimental.
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thehmn · 6 months
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It might simply be that I don’t frequent ADHD forums enough but I haven’t seen a whole lot of talk about learned social withdrawal.
As a child I made friends left and right but as we all turned into self-conscious teenagers it slowly became more and more difficult for me. Plain and simple, other people thought I was weird. For some reason I never got bullied which I think is related to something my teachers kept telling my parents “She’s such a sweet, bright child and we can tell she’s not malicious or trying to be disruptive on purpose but we can’t teach her anything”
Basically people couldn’t figure me out. I had good social skills with both children and adults, I had a good moral compass, i felt compassion and empathy for others and was willing to go against my friends if I felt they were being bullies, I taught myself English and my drawings showed good observation skills. Because of all that it was decided I should start school a year sooner than most kids and my parents were very proud. Unfortunately that’s probably one of the main reasons why I was never diagnosed with raging ADHD as a child. People soon realized I didn’t do well in a school setting but assumed it was because I “wasn’t done playing” and my ADHD symptoms were interpreted as childishness.
So as I got older my classmates started to distance themselves from me. They were always kind and friendly but they didn’t know how to deal with me and ever since then people have always been worryingly comfortable with calling me weird to my face. I get the impression it’s because they think it’s a choice on my part. To them I’m clearly of “normal intelligence” so I must be acting like this on purpose and my parents would repeatedly tell me to “just act normal” as a child when I told them I was struggling to make friends. I tried so damn hard but kept failing. I knew something had to be different about me and when I first heard about ADHD I thought “That’s me! That’s how I feel!” but my parents said that was impossible because I wasn’t hyperactive.
Because nobody wanted to help me I eventually learned to just stop trying to make friends and keep to myself. I was so tired of being told by friendly, well-meaning people that I was so weird and quirky and unique only for them to distance themselves once they realized it was permanent and not something I could turn on and off for parties. I always enjoyed being alone so it wasn’t a huge loss but it did feel incredibly lonely at times.
Things got a lot better when I became an adult, mostly because adults are generally more chill than teens so my ADHD behavior isn’t as embarrassing to them and ironically they’re often surprised to learn I don’t make friends easily. Unfortunately I learned to be withdrawn in my formative years so new friends are still a rarity. Before I really sat down and put my past into context I even started to wonder if I had autism despite not connecting with anything autistic people said about their experiences. I went as far as to be tested but wasn’t surprised when the diagnosis was negative because of course it was, I kinda already knew that. I was just looking for an explanation.
So while there can be overlap between ADHD and autism (I have just such a friend) my experience is also that oftentimes people with ADHD simply learn to stay away from social situations and entertain ourselves which ends up looking like autism to outsiders.
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yanderenightmare · 1 year
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more gojo with curse!darling please! i lobe this concept<3
Gojo Satoru
P1 & P3
TW: abduction and captivity, mild condescension, mild coercion, NSFW hints, some descriptions of darling, but nothing too specific, a joke dissing people with blue eyes and pale skin
gn reader - fem labels (drama queen) & fem accessories (jewelry: various)
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He kept you like one would a stray cat. Leaving you be as you found places of comfort around his apartment, hiding when you wanted to be left alone – which was almost always.
You hadn’t warmed up to him yet. Understandably so.
He’d set out food for you, locking the door with seals when leaving – scoffing out a laugh after coming home only to find the dish still on the table. He keeps forgetting you don’t eat.
You may look it, but you’re not exactly human.
But you are getting thinner, unfortunately. Suppose his apartment isn’t ideal hunting ground for a curse. And as you’ve gotten weaker, you’ve become wilder – primitive in a way – hissing at him when he gets too close – feeling vulnerable. 
You’re very cute.
But, cute or not, he doesn’t want to starve you. He isn’t cruel. So he walks and wonders what it is that you would find appetizing. 
Watching your behavior – how you sneak around his apartment looting – like a crow – collecting shiny objects to deck yourself in. Stealing all his rings, chains, watches, belt buckles, manchets, any gold or silver-rimmed glasses, and anything else you can use as jewelry – old coins, can tabs, all the silverware – along with everything else you deem pretty – fabrics, flowers, decorations, all his silk shirts. 
You rob anything and everything of value, making a nest of it all in the tub. 
His theory is that the bathroom is the shiniest place in the house and, therefore, where you feel you most belong. You sleep there despite him having given you a room – coveting all your findings.
He’s never really thought about how a curse can have such behaviorism. It’s not too odd to keep tamed ones as pets, but still, he’s never thought about why one would aside from utilizing them in combat. But you weren’t made for such intents and purposes. You were… just fascinating to have. Not far off from being an exotic pet.
But even for a curse, you’re unusual.
It’s not fear or death you thrive on. It’s… something a lot more innocent, actually – which is probably why you have no malicious instincts to hurt him – not that you could if you tried. But he can tell… you don’t want to be a curse, do you? In fact, those few times he has nicknamed you curse, you’ve scowled at him a little more than usual. 
No, what you desire is devotion – to be worshipped. 
What you want is to be a god.
Quite like him, actually. You like having your ego stroked. 
It’s your pride that needs feeding, and he can only asses that it feasts on people’s mad desire for you – of which he has plenty to give.
But you reject it.
“I won’t rely on the pity of a filthy jujutsu sorcerer. I’d rather starve.” You tell him with a sneer, curling yourself up with folded arms upon your chest – pouting with eyes closed, drowned in your treasure bath as though everything wasn’t nicking your skin, trying to ignore him.
He slants his head to the side, crouched down beside you with his arms resting on the tub, a smirk on his face – playing cute as he reaches a slim finger out to touch your cheek.
“Won’t you let a filthy jujutsu sorcerer worship you a bit? Trust me, a curse has never made me feel so weak before. Don’t you think I’d make for the best beggar?” 
You grimace, brows deepening into a vexed frown without opening your eyes, but you don’t flinch away. “I won’t be patronized. You keep playing with me like I’m your toy.”
“Maybe a little,” He chuckles softly. You’re such an honest and expressive little curse. “But I do think you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen~”
“Naturally.” You reply simply, the furrow in your brow softening, but you don’t offer much more.
“Come on, pretty curse.” He drawls. “Let me help you before you waste away.”
You scoff. “Tch- foolish, selfish human… you really are such an ugly thing to behold.” The furl returns, but still, you keep your eyes closed. “Do you honestly think that your rancid touch is going to save me?” Then you laugh – harshly and mockingly. “Please, don’t flatter yourself. A god requires offerings left at their shrine, not the filthy touch of the peasants that leave them.” Your nose scrunches suggestively. “You should consider it a blessing to even be allowed to look at me.”
Vain and stubborn, he thinks. You are the curse of beauty. But still, he's never experienced rejection before.
Suppose he has to try a little harder…
He soon finds himself courting you. Trying to make you comfortable.
He starts giving you gifts – first, silver silk bedsheets that lure you into sleeping in your bed instead of the bathtub, along with other changes that make your room more appealing – ornate wallpaper, canopy drapes surrounding the bed, and a smaller chandelier for the ceiling. Happy to see you abandon your former treasure in the tub in favor of your new dwelling.
Then he gifts you other pretty articles – clothes and such that actually fit you – patterned silks and lace. He attempts to give you clothes you can use to cover up more of yourself, but you seem partial to wearing less – most comfortable in just an elegant kimono you can easily discard on the floor.
You’re confusing like that – walking around his apartment half-naked but hissing and scowling at him when he stares.
It’s more the jewelry you enjoy wearing – crowns, earrings, necklaces, body chains, rings for your fingers and toes, bracelets for your wrists and ankles – everything in abundance. Jingling when you step about.
You seem healthier after receiving his presents. Also, a bit less skeptical – now engaging in conversation with him – although often about what his next gifts will be and if he can buy you diamonds and rubies for you to bead your hair.
“Sorry, but the banks closed. I’m not giving you a single dime, your highness.” He laughs one day, eyes bright and smiling, watching the puzzlement befall your face before the spread of horror that soon followed after hearing his next words. “In fact, I’m gonna start taking things away.”
“You wouldn’t-” Your voice had dropped into something so weak it was adorable, no longer having that strident overconfidence you’d built up.
It makes him feel almost bad watching your face drain and become so distressed like a spoiled little brat who’d just been told no for the first time.
“Oh- I would.” He grinned like it was all only a cruel joke to him – something just for shits and giggles. “Satoru Gojo giveth and Satoru Gojo taketh away.”
“But-” Your lip wobbles, and he can spot the tears brimming in your eyes already.
He doesn’t let it bother him. Or at least he doesn’t let it show.
“I think I’ll start with all your jewelry- how about that necklace you’re wearing right now?” He threatens, pale hand reaching towards your neck to pull your pearls off – but you shrink into a ball on the floor before he has the chance to.
“No, no, no, don’t-” You start sobbing, and he thinks it’s the first time he’s seen a curse be so sad and desperate.
Not to mistake those countless curses he’d made cry and plead for their life, but that wasn’t what you were doing. You were grieving. 
You’re really such a simple thing, aren’t you?
His smile softens into something not so cruel. Crouching down to your level, placing his hand atop your head where you’re bowed and bawling, petting you soothingly. “Okay then, drama queen. Stop your crying. I’ll let you keep it.”
You raise your head, hopeful. Looking at him with terribly puffy eyes - cheeks streaked with teardrops hanging off your lashes. Looking so pained and vulnerable, it made his heart ache at the sight. 
You don’t say anything but he can tell there’s a question on your lips you’re unable to voice.
“Under one condition.” He answers. 
You flinch when his hand slides from your hair to cup your cheek, holding your chin as he rolls on his feet and places a kiss on your salty lips.
You gasp and allow it for a second but then abruptly push him off – falling back on your butt. “No- you’ll make me filthy.” You rush out. “Beauty is meant to be admired, not reaped. It’s not right. You can’t-”
He watches you blush and stutter and thinks it’s silly how he hasn’t thought about it before. But now it’s become clear. Curses spawn from human fears, after all. It’s not strange that they’re so similar. But still… he’d never think a curse would be afraid of losing their virginity.
“It’s okay,” He coos, setting his knees down softly – crawling forward to where you sit, hiding your face behind small hands decked in too many rings. “I’m not gonna stain you…” He promises, his breath warm on your skin. “I’m gonna make you feel like the most desired diety in the world.”
Your breath shivers as he takes your hands and uncovers your face – eyes wide looking at him.
“And after I’m done admiring you, I’ll get you more diamonds and rubies than you can count.”
You swallow – eyes skittering from one of his blue ones to the other.
“Really?” It’s below a whisper.
“You bet.” He answers with a smile, flashing you a smirk. “I’ll get you enough to swim in.”
Your nose does a little twitch like it usually does, but this time, it’s not to express disgust. “Do you promise?” You bite your lip – staring at him.
“Let’s make it a binding vow.”
And that’s the arrangement.
You let him admire you in ways you’ve never let anyone else before, but only if he fulfills all your greedy heart’s desires.
He doesn’t mind. It’s nice to have something to spend money on that’s worth it.
You’ll lie next to him and he’ll get to study you up close – finding things that betray you – model details that aren’t in line with human imperfections. Missing bone structure, flawless symmetry, hairless skin devoid of any and all accent of mark or spot – just smooth milky texture without a single fault.
He says it’s sad – that the standard for beauty isn’t even achievable, to which you reply that it’s only fair everyone should be subject to the same disappointment, never to achieve perfection like you.
He asks if you think he’s really that ugly. And you say yes.
“Liar.” He accuses. Head propped on his hand, his hair a tousled mess lying in the bed beside you.
You’re looking up at the ceiling but close your eyes insouciantly at his comment. You tip your chin a bit as you speak – lips pouty and proud. “Lies are an ugly trade- in which I don’t partake.”
“Oh, really?” He rolls on top of you and you give a whine. Looking up into his sparkling blues and how his pearly hair falls loose and wispy. “Then look me in my eyes and tell me I’m ugly.” He dares.
“Puh-” You scoff, folding your arms above your puffed chest, looking off to the side, still with eyes closed as though to dismiss him like you so often do. “Men with beady bright blue eyes and pink skin look like pigs.”
You sneak a peek with one eye when he doesn’t answer. He’s still looking down at you – still daring you. 
And you continue. Raising a finger to nudge his nose up. “Say oink-oink, piggy.”
He brushes your finger away as he leans in closer. Now with his nose rubbing yours.
“Tell me I’m ugly.” He repeats – his voice dipping low into that serious tone that makes your breath tight and your stomach flurry.
“You’re-” You try but it ends up swallowed, stifled beneath those big worldly blues. “You’re…” You try again but it’s worse than the first time, making you bite your lip. He’s not budging.
You look away. Feeling defeated and mopey because of it.
“You’re not as pretty as me.” You finally sulk.
So cutely grumpy with your pursed lips and vexed brow, he just has to laugh. “Tch- now that we can both agree on.”
And then he forces you to laugh too – beginning to snort like a boar into your ear, placing sloppy kisses to your neck while you scream out that it tickles.
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P1 & P3
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dykesynthezoid · 1 year
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There’s lots of “Arthur was totally oblivious to Merlin’s magic the entire time because he’s just that dense” and the flipside “what if Arthur had figured out Merlin had magic ages ago and just didn’t say anything” but quite frankly I think there should be more “consciously Arthur refuses to entertain the idea of Merlin being a sorcerer, but his subconscious has been picking up on all the weird coincidences and it’s getting harder and harder for him to ignore”
Like Arthur isn’t always the smartest but I do think there’s a difference between obliviousness and willful ignorance. Arthur has some very obvious reasons not to want to believe Merlin could be a sorcerer. Namely that he cares about Merlin and thinks Merlin is Good, whereas he’s always believed and been taught that sorcery is an absolute Evil. Therefore Merlin cannot be a sorcerer, because he’s not evil.
There’s also the fact that he’s convinced Merlin is incompetent— Arthur’s idea of magic is not just malicious, but intentional. It’s something you do, on purpose, and it requires effort. If Merlin’s incompetent, then he couldn’t be doing any of those things. And Arthur, frankly, throughout most of the show, kind of needs to be able to think of Merlin as incompetent, because if Merlin wasn’t incompetent, it would mean Arthur had been unjustly insulting him and treating him poorly for years.
So Arthur, very willfully, refuses to even entertain the idea of Merlin having magic. It’s just so silly! Except, of course; it’s kind of hard not to notice how suspicious Merlin is. Like. He’s not very good at hiding it. Luckily Arthur is very good at repression, and so he can just kind of ignore that; but that also is only going to work for so long.
And I think there’s so much to be explored about the process of Arthur’s repression starting to fail, and his subconscious finally starting to break through to his conscious mind and call attention to everything about Merlin that Arthur has been willfully ignoring.
And when you add things like Arthur’s daddy issues and internalized homophobia— Merlin can’t be one of them, but also Arthur can’t be attracted to one of them, but also Arthur can’t be attracted to a man, but also men are people who take action, and sorcerers are people who do intentional evil, and Merlin isn’t like that— But he is? And what does it say about Arthur that he— That he could want—
And in all of that Arthur is just sitting there while he mentally fights his psychosexual demons. And Loses. Big time.
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retrorats · 1 month
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Generally when this particular entry of the report cards is mentioned is to mention how "accidentally" what Hinata says about Komaeda smile sounds very romantic even when the meant reading is Hinata being disturbed about Komaeda. While I understand why people would have this opinion, I wanted to briefly explain two reasons why the romanticism of this line is clearly intentional and why the line is not just about Hinata being confused and scared about him.
1. The use and subversion of an already established romantic line
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One detail that is often never mentioned when discussing this line is that it is not the only instance where Hinata says something romantically charged about Komaeda's smile and how it's clearly meant to be some sort of callback and subversion of the first line. The first time Hinata says something like that it's used to show how calm Komaeda makes him feel and how much he likes his presence, and now Komaeda's smile is used to represent Hinata's confusion towards him and how all of the things that he used to perceive as well intentioned and kind are now perceived with a malicious intent by Hinata. The purpose of the line is to represent how Hinata's feelings for Komaeda have changed since the first free time event and to tell that even if Hinata is now angered and confused, the initial attraction he felt for him is still there.
It's also worth noting that the similarity between these two lines goes beyond just being about a smile. The structure of both of the sentences is not only similar, but the two smiles are described as carefree. Another detail that makes this scene more similar is that the adjective Hinata uses to say "calms me down" in the Japanese version is magireru (紛れる) while in this context it means to get distracted from your worries, magireru also means to get too absorbed in something or distracted, which is akin to the sensation of "looking at it and not understanding anything" that Hinata describes in the report card, which practically sounds like he gets too distracted and absorbed into his smile.
2. Clarifying the context of the line
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When people discuss this line, it is usually only interpreted in a vacuum, hardly even considering the context of the free time event the report card is from. The most common interpretation of this line is that Hinata relates the concept of Komaeda smiling with him talking about his beliefs, so that's why Hinata can not understand a single thing of what he's talking about. This interpretation completely ignores the scene this line was referring to. The line in the report card is clearly referring to this part where Komaeda reassures Hinata with a smile, and Hinata questions the intention behind Komaeda doing this. The line in the report is most likely referring to this interaction since this is the only part of that free time event where Komaeda smiling is mentioned, and for the way it's written, it seems to be an interaction that should be taken into account. This part is clearly not talking about Hinata being disturbed or scared about Komaeda but it is trying to convey the confusion Hinata feels about Komaeda still being kind and friendly with him even when he's supposed to be a terrible person in his eyes.
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corkinavoid · 3 months
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Okay, yeah, I just wrote a post about good!GIW like three days ago, but
DPxDC GIW Using Ghosts as Living Weapons
TW: dehumanization, mention of electrocution, whump
I've been watching Hell's Paradise, and it got me thinking. What if GIW doesn't just catch and study ghosts? After all, their tech is no match for something like Vortex or Undergrowth, or even Technus.
What if they catch ghosts and turn them into living weapons? Train them into following commands like dogs, and force them into obedience. Dehumanize them in the worst way possible, treating them like machines.
Ghosts are not sentient or sapient in their opinion, but they feel pain. They can be trained.
What I'm saying is whump Danny, mostly, but make it interesting. Make it not just a teen in pain, no, make him a merciless machine that follows any given order with unmatched efficiency, someone who doesn't feel any emotions anymore, knowing no pleas or cries will work.
I'm thinking along the lines of a muzzle, or a collar that gives him electric shocks every time he either disobeys or does anything he was not told to do.
Now, I've got two ideas of where this can go. One, GIW gifts Danny to the JL as an ultimate, all-powerful weapon. Maybe they don't even specify he is a ghost at first, presenting him as an object, and then they get to do a demonstration, and the JL is promptly horrified at the sight of what they think is a meta kid in a muzzle that doesn't even have holes for him to breath. And when they very carefully try asking GIW to explain this, GIW just shows off Danny's powers. Which are, well, a lot. Maybe they ask Danny to do something like, I dunno, destroy an asteroid or shit. Something big, something most members of the JL are not able to do single-handedly, but Danny does it easily, with little effort. And GIW explains that this kind of power, especially coming from a ghost, a being malicious at its core, can not be kept on the loose without any restraints.
The second idea includes Al Ghul Twins. GIW can have some ties with League of Shadows, so maybe they made Danny into a living weapon with the sole purpose of making him Ra's' living weapon. So Danny ends up back in the League, and Ra's tasks him with killing one of the Bats, or maybe stealing something, anyway, he ends up in Gotham. Where he meets Damian, and, boom, siblings' feelings hit. Cue all the whump angst you can imagine.
I'm not sure how to incorporate Fentons in the second idea. Maybe it was all a coincidence - Talia faking Danyal's death, him being adopted by Fentons, then later found out and contained by GIW. Or maybe it was all staged beforehand, and Ra's specifically put Danny there. Or maybe we bypass the Fentons in the first place and Ra's simply gives a spare kid to GIW in order for them to try and make him more powerful with the help of Lazarus Waters/ectoplasm. Maybe this can even be some kind of reincarnation.
Also, more ghosts can be added to the mix.
Danny disobeying the orders in order to protect Dani and getting tortured for it. Ember being used for mind control. Dan being the prototype of the living weapon program, the first experiment that turned out wrong and has been locked and kept contained.
The opportunities are endless.
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yinyuedijun · 1 month
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kitsune!suo x fem reader | feudal japan au
→ notes for an au set in feudal japan, featuring supernatural creatures and spirits (e.g., youkai). suo is a kitsune, sakura is a nekomata, and nirei is an onmyouji. → see this post for backstory on the bofurin trio (recommended background reading)
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note: most information on kitsune-mochi were sourced from folkorist lafcadio hearn's accounts of traveling in japan (c.1901). I did, of course, also take creative license with some of the lore.
reader | kitsune-mochi (fox-employing witch)
→ as a kitsune-mochi, you are a human who has entered a contract with a fox spirit to care for it in exchange for having it lend you its power and carry out your requests. → in your case, your familiar is suo, a nine-tailed kitsune that lost his hoshi no tama. → most witches employ kitsune for the purpose of carrying out malicious acts, like having the fox spirit possess their enemies, steal the wealth of other people, etc. you, however, rely on suo and his power in order to perform exorcisms and exterminate demons—something that you cannot do on your own because you have no innate spiritual talents yourself.
→ although a convenient source of power, these deals are typically risky for the contract holder. you are expected to care for suo for the rest of your life, and any descendants you might have would be cursed to serve him as well. kitsune-mochi are heavily ostracized by human society as well, so if this relationship of yours were to be discovered, then your entire bloodline would suffer. → additionally, these contracts typically favour the kitsune, as they are the ones who define what it means to be "cared for", and may request dangerous or unreasonable tasks. → fortunately for you, suo is not a very demanding familiar! the most basic act of caring for a fox spirit is feeding it, and he's more or less happy with anything you make, though he especially likes tea, wagashi, or dishes with aburaage. this is more or less all he asks of you! → suo's disposition is generally so patient and gentle that you nearly disbelieved that he was a youkai. you were convinced for a while that he was actually a messenger of god who was lying to you about his identity for some reason. (at the very least, you'd noticed that he had a habit of lying to people generally, though this was an unsurprising trait for a fox and it was usually harmless fun.) → this perception of him was shattered when you saw him fight a youkai that seriously injured you. he spent an uncomfortable amount of time toying with it in a distinctly humiliating fashion before finally putting it out of its misery. it was only in that moment that you realised that you'd signed yourself and all of your descendants up for serving a literal demon 👍
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→ warning: immortal/human relationship, immortal deity meets reader as a child but doesn't get to know or grow close to them until they're an adult
your backstory with suo
→ at a very young age, you were adopted and raised by a priestess of an inari shrine belonging to a small mountain village. consequently, you developed a deep respect for the kami and affection for foxes. → as a child, you once found a one-eyed, wild fox in a near-death state. this was suo after he lost his hoshi no tama in a battle with a demon—but to you, he just looked like a regular animal. most people would have let this creature die peacefully, but you were adamant on nursing it back to health. while caring for him, you named him mr. adzuki because of the colour of his fur, which suo finds incredibly funny to this day. → suo disappeared after recovering, never making his true identity known. however, out of gratitude toward you and the priestesses for allowing him refuge, he decided to act as the guardian spirit of the village, protecting it until the end of your life. → conveniently, this meant that suo got to eat all the offerings given to inari's messengers at your shrine, as well as allowing him to gain power from the prayers directed toward him. (inari himself seemed not to mind, as no actual fox messengers showed up to throw hands with suo.)
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image: gashadokuro, a youkai made from the skulls of humans who died in battle.
→ although your village was peaceful throughout your childhood due to suo's protection, in your adult years, a violent conflict between humans and demons broke out in your mountain range. this resulted in the destruction of nearly all its towns and the brutal deaths of your fellow villagers. suo, not at full power, was unable to stop this, but made it his goal to save you from the carnage. → after allowing you time to grieve your loved ones, suo—still considering himself indebted to you—asked what you would like to do next. he offered you wealth, status, and other material things, but none of these appealed to you. → recognising that the mountains you grew up in would be plagued by malevolent spirits and demons for centuries after all the bloodshed that just occurred, you asked suo to teach you jujutsu. your goal was to exorcise all the vengeful spirits, exterminate the demons, and purify the mountain range so that its villages could peacefully rebuild. → given your lack of innate spiritual abilities, suo suggested that you make a pact with him and become a kitsune-mochi to acquire powers. not wanting to deceive you, however, he fully explained how dangerous it might be to enter such a relationship, and warned you not to trust fox youkai like himself.
→ nevertheless, you accepted his offer and became a witch.
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image: sakura irl
meeting sakura & nirei
→ you and suo thus embark on this crazy mission to purify the entire mountain range. while you are more than capable of exorcisms and exterminations, your spiritual abilities (one of a youkai) do not allow you to purify the land. → but that's okay, because nirei and sakura have been traversing these same mountains to exorcise and hunt demons! being an onmyouji, nirei can perform all kinds of purification rituals. when you inevitably run into the two of them, and suo suggests that you all work together. → nirei is more than happy to help you purify the mountain range (because he is a good-hearted person, and also because he usually gets assignments there anyway). he improves his jujutsu under suo's tutelage, and he gets insights on kitsune that he'd otherwise never learn (it's rare for an onmyouji to meet a kitsune-mochi unless it's to prosecute them for some kind of crime, and it's just plain hard to meet and talk with a nine-tailed fox spirit). → sakura is a harder sell. he doesn't trust suo at all at the start, and he trusts him even less when he finds out that he's a kitsune and has been lying egregiously to him. (sakura and nirei spent an entire month thinking that suo was a traveling tea merchant from china and being fed severe misinformation about the entire country.) → however, sakura is very curious about you, because you're the first human he's ever met who has a mutual and trusting relationship with a demon, which he didn't think was possible beyond weirdos like nirei. → you also aren't afraid of him at all even after seeing his nekomata form, which gives him complicated feelings. he reasons that this is because you've fought too many demons to be afraid of any of them, but the actual truth is just that you find suo incredibly scary, and sakura feels harmless and adorable in comparison </3 → sakura deeply enjoys the act of helping the mountain towns and being accepted by their communities, though he's very shy about admitting it! eventually, he does "resign" to joining you in a long-term arrangement, and the four of you take on the endless mission of exorcising and cleansing the mountain range together. it's a very "monster of the week" type of set-up hehe
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→ although the work of purifying the mountain range will likely take the rest of your life (and probably will require generations after you), suo often asks you what you would like to do after the work is complete—so that he can think of ways to grant your request. → you decide not to tell him this, but your wish would be to return to your old village grounds and rebuild the shrine that you grew up in. rather than just inari, you would also dedicate it to the worship of the one-eyed fox spirit that once protected your village.
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lancermylove · 4 months
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Kind MC (HC)
Fandom: Obey Me
Pairing: Demon Brother x fem!Reader, platonic.
Warning: None
Requested by: @annih
Prompt: Hello! Can I request some HC for Obey Me? How would each of the demon brothers react to a Fem!MC who is...just THAT forgiving? Like, she's too kind, too patient and too forgiving. She even forgive Belphegor faster than anyone anticipated. Also, the thing is, this trait leads MC to be more naive and trusting as she think that everyone else share the same nature and good intentions as they does. But it didn't render MC TOO dumb. She would still listen if someone's danger. My kind mc obey me request can you make MC be in a plantonic relationship with everyone?
A/N: Angel MC. 🤭 Hope you like it!
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Lucifer
Initially, Lucifer is a bit irritated with your overly forgiving nature. He is worried that your kindness might make you an easy target in Devildom.
At times, he also gets frustrated by your naivety but is fascinated by your unwavering ability to see the good in everyone. This makes him become very protective of you.
Even though he knows you won't fully listen, Lucifer still advises caution and reminds you that not everyone has a pure heart or intentions.
Over time, he starts to admire your patience and kind-heartedness. It's not often that such angelic beings come to Devildom, so to have one in the House of Lamentation is a breath of fresh air.
He won't ever tell you, but Lucifer is worried that you might actually fall into the trap of a malicious demon someday. But he already has a plan prepared in case that happens.
Mammon
Mammon is amused and baffled by your overly forgiving nature. While he finds your kindness endearing, he worries that demons will try to take advantage of you. The second brother has done it, but nothing too extreme; he just took something from you without your permission and never returned it. But...if you find out, you will forgive him, so Mammon isn't too worried.
Yes, he realizes that he is taking advantage of your kindness, and this is why he is worried about strangers being around you.
Sometimes, Mammon teases you for being so trusting, but behind that teasing is his concern for your safety. Due to this, he gets fiercely protective of you and always keeps a close eye on you when you interact with others.
Out of everyone, Mammon understands your kind nature more than anyone. But that doesn't stop him from being cautious and stepping in when things are about to go downhill.
Levi
Levi is puzzled and somewhat skeptical of your overly forgiving nature. It isn't often that such kindness is visible in Devildom, so at times, he has to wonder if you are really like that or if there is a hidden face behind your angelic nature.
When he sees you trusting others easily, he becomes anxious. His own insecurities and distrust in others make it hard for him to even believe a word they say, so to see you trust strangers readily is nerve-wracking.
Like his brothers, Levi worries that your trusting and sweet nature will land you in deep waters. At times, he tries to tell you about the dangers of Devildom, but nothing seems to work, so he eventually gives up and lets you do what you want.
However, in secret, Levi admires your kindness. This sometimes leads to him wanting to trust others, but other times, he questions his own values and behavior.
Overall, the third brother is most concerned about not being able to protect you from harm if he ever needs to.
Satan
Satan doesn't know what to make of your nature in the beginning. He finds your angelic behavior bewildering; how exactly are you able to forgive someone who purposely tried to hurt you? The fourth brother can't understand your thought process.
At the same time, he finds your kindness refreshing. His brothers have seen genuine kindness in the Celestial Realm, but he never got to experience it. But after meeting you, Satan can truly say that he knows what pure angels are like. Sometimes, he wonders if the Celestial Realm sent an angel - you - disguised as a human to keep an eye on them.
There are times when he struggles to keep his calm when you forgive certain demons who have hurt you or don't deserve your forgiveness. Moreover, when he hears you say that kindness is contagious, he wants to shake you by your shoulders and yell at you that you live among demons, but Satan doesn't want to scare you, so he refrains from acting on his thoughts.
Satan knows for sure that you will get hurt and be manipulated by the demons in Devildom, and while he will do everything in his power to protect you, he thinks it's better if you learn certain lessons by yourself.
Asmo
The fifth brother is completely and utterly charmed by your overly forgiving nature. He can't get enough of your sweetness and kindness.
Unlike the others, he is not too concerned about your naivety and thinks your innocent charm and trusting nature are enough to melt even the cold hearts of demons. Well, for the most part.
Asmo is just as protective of you as his brothers. He knows that demons are capable of being evil to the core, and no amount of kindness will cut through their darkness.
Overall, he loves your sweet nature and showers you with endless compliments, but Asmo is deeply worried that you will someday experience something that will break your pure heart forever.
Beel
He is immediately drawn to your kind and forgiving nature and finds your warmth comforting. Beel truly admires your ability to see the good in others.
Unlike his brothers, he is not focused on your safety; rather, Beel views your personality as a refreshing change to the usual darkness of Devildom. Honestly, it reminds him of his time in the Celestial Realm. If Lilith had been still with them, he is sure that the two of you would have gotten along very well.
Saying that, if a demon tries to hurt you or take advantage of your kindness, the sixth brother will act as your shield. No one will harm you while he is around.
He is the only brother who doesn't stop you from being kind, not even to the demons who don't deserve your kindness.
Belphie
In the beginning, Belphie finds your overly kind nature annoying and bewildering. He still doesn't understand how you forgave a demon who purposely insulted you in the worst way possible. If you hadn't stopped him, Belphie would have torn the demon to shreds.
But when he sees how your kindness has positively influenced those around him, Belphie's cynical outlook begins to soften. He isn't as irritated and even tries to be nicer to others.
Despite this, the youngest brother can't forgive anyone who tries to hurt or manipulate you.
Belphie truly hopes that the darkness in Devildom will not affect your pureness in any way. He knows through firsthand experience that one little moment is enough to destroy everything and change people. And Belphie hopes you never have to go through that pain.
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➣ Obey Me Masterlist: [1][2][3] ➣ Main Masterlist
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musaslullaby · 24 days
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Enemies on road
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Carlos Sainz x fem reader
Summary: A fierce rivalry on the Formula 1 track turns into a moment of forgiveness and unexpected romance between two drivers.
Warning: fluff
Masterlist
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The tension was at its peak. My foot pressed down on the accelerator as if it were the only purpose in my life. Driving made me feel alive; I didn't care about the risk I was taking. I was ready to accept death in a Formula 1 car, convinced that it was the most dignified way to honor the sport I had devoted myself to with passion.
"Can I fight?" I asked, focused. Even if the engineers had said no, I would have done it anyway. I would have worn those tires down to the last shred.
"It's all yours." The affirmative response hit my ears, accompanied by a surge of adrenaline. My mind was focused, my hands trembling slightly from the strength with which I gripped the steering wheel.
I swerved left, trying to slip into the space Carlos Sainz had left unguarded. In a matter of moments, we were wheel to wheel, our cars sparking as we raced down the straight. I increased speed, approaching 350 km/h, but he wouldn't back down. The more I pushed, the more he pushed; he either mimicked me or tried to defend himself with all his might.
"What the hell!" I shouted, slamming my hands violently against the steering wheel. That tiny bit of distraction was enough for the car to veer in the opposite direction, completely stopping its response to my commands. A sudden wave of fear swept over me as I slammed on the brakes with all the strength I had, but it was all in vain—the car kept gaining speed.
A large cloud of dust rose, and when I opened my eyes, I found myself against the barrier. From what I could see in the cockpit, the car had sustained severe damage.
"Are you okay?" my engineer asked, genuine concern in his voice.
"I'm fine, but they should teach that idiot Sainz how to drive, because apparently, he's seriously lacking," I replied, fully unleashing my anger. At that moment, all I could see was red, fiercer than the flames of hell.
I unbuckled the steering wheel with superhuman strength and climbed out of the cockpit. Like an idiot, I waited by my car, which was completely wrecked from the violent impact, for the safety car. But what bothered me the most was that this two-bit driver was still racing and had taken my damn third place.
When I returned to the pits after the medical check, I felt all the cameras on me, but I had no desire to talk to the press.
"Get them out of here before I scream at them," I said, agitated, as I headed towards my cabin without looking anyone in the face.
I collapsed onto the blue leather couch and let out a scream of frustration, which did nothing to improve my state of mind.
I was covered in bruises, in pain, and felt like a ticking time bomb ready to explode. I wanted to be alone, but I didn't even have that luck, because the race was over and my duties with the media awaited me. How I hated press conferences, and even more, those stupid journalists who ask malicious questions just to get a scoop, or whatever the hell they call it.
A very kind girl, with a welcoming smile, showed me where to sit. Of course, these press people had organized everything to perfection. When I sat down on that uncomfortable little couch, I found myself facing Carlos's playful grin, invading my personal space.
"Wipe that horrible grin off your face and move away. Isn't it enough that you invaded my personal space with that damn car?" I whispered nervously, so only he could hear, and I wouldn’t get scolded by my team for my foul and impolite language.
"Admit it, you didn't mind," he responded, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
I wanted to tear him apart, make him take back everything he had said, but they handed us microphones and started the usual round of stupid questions.
As soon as the last question was answered, I was the first to jump up and walk as fast as possible away from that room full of people; I almost felt like I was suffocating. Someone called my name from afar, but I ignored it.
I returned to my small, cozy room. In my head, I had planned everything: I would stay there for the next two hours, so no one could interrogate me or even speak to me.
But after just a few seconds, someone knocked on the door. At first, I didn't want to waste my breath, but then the voice that spoke to me was so sweet, sincere, and regretful that my heart involuntarily softened.
Slowly, I opened the door and found the Spaniard standing there, his eyes red and his spirits low.
"Can I come in, please?" he asked in a barely audible whisper. With a nod, I stepped aside, letting him in.
"Did you come to make fun of me?" I asked with a defeated sigh, collapsing onto the couch.
"I'm sorry, I went too far. I didn't mean to push you off the track; I took a risk and was stupid. I'm sorry," his voice was calm, shaken by some tremors of sadness and genuine regret, in stark contrast to the tone he had used during the conference.
"You know I would never intentionally hurt you?" he added, with an obvious note of hesitation in his voice.
I lowered my gaze. It was too much to process; too many emotions were swirling around, creating a tsunami inside me. I had been furious with him, but now I just wanted to drown in one of his bear hugs and sink into his soft lips.
A gentle and delicate touch snapped me out of my thoughts. He was there, in front of me, looking at me with those brown eyes full of love and guilt. I couldn't stand it; I couldn't see him like that. I pulled him towards me, slowly. We looked at each other for a few seconds, our gazes traveling from our lips to our eyes, and then I felt the warmth of his breath brushing my face.
We gave in. I held him tightly as his lips met mine in a kiss full of apologies and a need for love. He wrapped an arm around my waist, holding me in a tender embrace. Finally, we pulled away, not because we wanted to end the kiss, but because of the lack of air.
Carlos pressed his lips to my forehead. "You forgave me?"
"Just this once," I said, breathless. I saw a happy and calm smile spread across his face, and I would have given anything to see it more often and protect him from the entire world that didn't believe in us.
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cinnamonest · 5 months
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May I present to you... innocent playgirl reader x modern au incel scara??
Like reader is just a sweet gal that thinks this boy who she's in a project with is pretty and despite his weird and creepy behaviour, it's a good thing she's trying to make a move, because y'know! it's actually women's fault that men get so frustrated and depressed since they never give the short guys a chance! Only go for the top 1% and all that.
Unfortunately after scara naps her, noncons the absolute, living daylights out of her, and continues to terrorize her ass does she realize that being nice and sweet to the degenerate, sexist incel in hopes of fixing him wasn't the brightest idea 😔
(If you can't tell I love the idea of kind n sweet MC who doesn't know any better getting her shit wrecked for no good reason because incel scara is just that much of an asshole)
Ohhhh my God bless you for this
Precisely, it’s so unfair. It’s just extra inches of leg bone, it means nothing. And yet day in, day out, the oppressed class (sub-6-foot males) have to deal with unjust discrimination. All because you have the most superficial desires and can’t compromise on such a silly thing. No, you’d rather whore around with some guy that will just use you and cheat on you because your dumb girl brain seeks that out like every other. And in spite of being smarter and better than the neanderthals you choose to date, which should entitle him to pussy, he’s left with nothing but porn and his hand. The world is an unjust place.
He’s pessimistic as all hell, so he can’t take any kindness or attempts at getting closer from you at face value, there has to be an ulterior motive.
You’re only pleasant to him when you talk to him because you want something. You probably expect him to do work for you, or help you cheat on tests for you or fork over money. You think he’s the sort of loser that will salivate over any girl that gives him a shred of attention, don’t you. That he’ll run himself ragged doing whatever for you just to get your approval. Well. You’re not going to get that.
It goes along with this greater idea of you he’s crafted in his head, one that fits a similarly pessimistic image. It doesn’t matter how “innocent” you are, literally anything you say or do, he’s projecting this stereotype of a secretly not-so-innocent, ultra-promiscuous college girl onto you and using it as both justification for his disdain and as a means of rationalize not leaping at this rare chance for female interaction — it’s not that he’s too afraid of rejection, it’s just that he knows that talking to you is a waste of time anyway, you undoubtedly have guys lined up you're fucking on a regular basis.
Besides, even if he tried, you’re far too dull-brained, so any conversations you’re capable of aren’t going to be stimulating anyway. You’re in college, of course you’ve spent all this time racking up a body count because God knows girls only use college as a means to get dicked all the time, they don’t actually care for academics in any way.
And poor you, you're completely oblivious to his bitter seething. You just think he's just quiet. And surely he doesn’t come off as rude and cold on purpose, no, you tell yourself that he probably just is one of those guys that is naturally like that, it’s not malicious.
But then you have to start going out of your way to be actively nice. Trying to make conversation and say nice things — you must think he’s stupid, that he doesn’t know that it’s actually just fake niceness so you can lure him in and get him to say something you can then mock him for in that faux-sweet tone of yours. In the exact opposite of your assumptions on him, he assumes malice in everything you do and say. He won’t give you the satisfaction of giving you leverage, so, he stays quiet, gives you one-word answers and shrugs.
What plans do you have for the weekend?, you say, in your attempts to make conversation. Ugh.
Not only are you trying to jab at him by reminding him that he has no plans other than staying inside and wallowing, but clearly you do have plans, undoubtedly ones that end with you stumbling home in a walk-of-shame on a Sunday morning.
And the nicer you get, the more you irritate him. What makes you think you can just be like that? All smiley and sunshine-like, and for what? To mock him? Acting innocent and sweet as if you don't know what kind of power you inherently hold just by having a hole between your legs, as if you're not actively abusing that power when you're clearly trying to get him to be attracted to you.
Each and every class period, he ends up so infuriated by the few words you exchange that the only way he can even stay sane is by immediately going back to his apartment after class and releasing all the pent up frustrations via exceptionally violent porn. He's got a few specifics pages bookmarked now, girls that look just like you getting slapped around and choked and manhandled and skull-fucked and gaped… but it's just not satisfying enough, there's still this lingering irritation, a skin-crawling malice that won't go away.
It's not good enough to imagine. If anything, the post-orgasmic clarity just makes the whole thing feel pathetic — it's not really you, you get to be all happy and safe and sound when it should be you, you should be the one being brutalized and put in your place, you deserve it for being so damn nice. So pleasant and upbeat and kind and what gives you the right?
In the end, once the burning fury becomes too much and no one else is going to do it, the only option is to take matters into his own hands…
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beautifulpersonpeach · 7 months
Note
what do you think of the rainy day fight bpp? we’ve heard both sides’ version of the story but what really gets me is how jungkook during festa 2020 didn’t even feel any secondhand embarrassment when jimin was telling the story when all the other 5 members were feeling it lol jungkook was kind of endeared by the memory by the way he was smiling
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Aren’t they just adorable?
Jimin was doing major damage control in that Festa 2020 live lmao. The members were calling it a romance drama, Jimin took over the telling from Jungkook, saying a whole lot without saying too much, and Jung Kook had the silliest most endeared smile on his face the whole time.
When Jungkook calls Jimin his catalyst, I feel the rainy day fight shows us one of the best examples of how Jimin fills that role for Jungkook.
My quick summary of what the rainy day fight was given what jikook have said about it: There was tension in the group due to how (a hormonal teenage) Jungkook behaved and treated his hyungs. Stern words were exchanged and everybody left the practice room, except Jimin and Jungkook. Jimin then had a frank conversation with Jungkook which ended with Jimin saying something to the effect of ‘if this is how you’re going to be, fine. I won’t care about you anymore.’
I feel like Jimin to that point had been Jungkook’s biggest support and most ardent advocate. I’ve talked before about how the attention Jimin showered on Jungkook in their early years was genuine and partly served the purpose of helping establish the maknae centrally within the group. Jungkook is someone who needs a lot of love, by his own admission, and Jimin is someone for whom giving love is instinct. It’s natural to him. They were both far from home and found home in each other.
I think the rainy day fight was one of the first times it really hit Jungkook how much he loved and relied on Jimin. Left alone in that practice room, rain pouring down hitting the roof tops, Jungkook felt a world in which Jimin treated him like any other bandmate was unbearable. He realized that for Jimin to even make a comment like that, he must’ve fucked up royally. It caused him to reflect and before long, he ran after Jimin.
We all know how the story ends, with jikook finding each other in the rain, hugging it out, and talking way past midnight on the roof of their dorm. The guys have said this happened in 2015 or 2016.
There’s no bigger Jimin Stan than Jungkook, and no bigger Jungkook Stan than Jimin. This hasn’t changed in 10+ years. And this is the thing that I find most interesting about jikook: how consistent they are. Not even the most highly awarded Oscar winner can put on an act for 10+ years, and then even when off the clock, choose to spend 18 months joined at the hip while completing a mandatory military service, all to serve a company’s fan service narrative.
Anybody who thinks Jungkook hates Jimin, would do anything malicious to him, or that Jimin thinks somehow less of Jungkook or would put up with bullshit from Jungkook because Jimin is oh so kind… anyone who thinks this is insane. In my opinion.
I’m talking daft as a brush, mad like a rabbit on crack. Just plain delusional, no two ways about it. Jikook are the og “you are me, I am you.” The rainy day fight is one of the key instances we see this play out, crystal clear.
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