#especially with my mom she says i’m being difficult and half the time it’s just shit that is a plain yes or no

[lilgynt]

i really got to get better at saying no and just not doing things i don’t want to do. like i know abuse sexual and non literally beat that out of me but i am sick of my nos never being taken seriously and i never push beyond the initial no bc that IS me trying my best i just got to get into my cunt era

[pleasantglitterflower]

Heart Podium (Joe Burrow x OC x Max Verstappen)

Many times our childhood dreams cannot be realized, due to our overly fertile imagination, many times our professional childhood dreams cannot be realized either, either due to the delay in getting a place at the university we dreamed of or the lack of opportunities when it comes to working in the arts or sports. 

There's always plan b.

Kayleigh was one of those kids, it's true that dreaming of being a Backyardigan was difficult, but she was left with plan b, a plan that was broadcast every Sunday before the NFL, her father would have lunch, afternoon snack and dinner on the same channel, watching the drivers and then the Cleveland Browns, his favorite team in the state. 

That was the most exciting thing Kayleigh had in her childhood, watching Formula One followed by a good Browns game, arriving at school and eagerly wanting to talk to someone, but the girls didn't like the subject and asked to talk about something else and the boys laughed at her.

Leaving her and her mom's cookies in the stands.

Until one day she plucked up the courage and asked her father to play go-kart, finding a track in the state of Ohio in 2004, it wasn't the easiest task in the world, but he managed it and little by little, it went from being a joke to a serious thing.

Until high school came and she discovered that there were two ways to get into college: she had to be very smart or know how to play some sport, in 2011 in the United States, go-kart doesn't really mean a sport, far from it.

Not knowing what to do, she decided to confront her parents in her first year.

Not wanting to do anything, since it wouldn't help her with her possible future career was a very risky step.

For her parents, it's not even worth mentioning, they wanted to freak out, exchanging the stability of a degree for a go-kart race, for them it's crazy, especially when they've always prepared themselves financially for it, when they always prepared for her to enter university, which is not the cheapest thing,and it was in these uncertainties and in the midst of this conflict of whether or not to go to college that she tried to get interested in more conventional sports.

But when she tried out, she was terrible at soccer, average at lacrosse, slow at basketball, tough at gymnastics, shy at cheerleading, short at volleyball, afraid of water when swimming and she's a girl, she couldn't play American football.

It was during one of these that she found herself making a fuss.

-You're going to regret it, you know, you're losing the best wide receiver the world has ever seen -  She yelled.

One of the guys looked at her in fright, while others wondered who she was.

-You know you were running for the cornerback spot, right? A blond guy tells her.

-Yeah, I know, that's exactly why - She sighs tiredly.

-Because you came to try for the spot right here, you know they don't choose girls easily.

-I’ve tried everywhere, I came here just to cause trouble, I had nothing to do” She confesses, leaving him confused.

-Really?

-Yes-They end up laughing.

-You don’t like a specific sport, maybe if you try there you’ll do better, maybe explain to the coach that you like it and want to learn and she’ll let you stay-He suggests.

-I like watching, but not putting it into practice, I’m doing this more so my parents can see that I’m not good, I already know I’m not good-She sighs.

-I’m sorry-He gives her a half smile, until she feels a crack.

-Geez, I haven’t tried baseball yet-she remembers and gets up, leaving the equipment there.

-They don’t accept girls either-He reminds her.

-That’s exactly why-Kayleigh laughs.

-By the way, what's your name?-She stops, holding the door.

-I'm Joseph-he says shyly.

-I'm Kayleigh, see you soon, Joseph.

And yes, she tried baseball, but the first time she held the bat, it ended up between the legs of the boy next to her, who fell to the ground groaning in pain.

Kayleigh was thrown out.

Fate was cruel to her when it came to sports, but it only reinforced the idea that she had to continue in karting.

After meeting Joseph, she would see him someday, as she thought, but she would see him every day, until the prom, when after two years together, she finally realized that they would have to separate by force,and how that hurt, not only for her but for him too.

-I can’t believe you’re going to Europe, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m going to tell Ohio State to go fuck itself, I’ll go with you wherever you have to go, but I don’t want to be away from you.-His cheeks already reddened from the cold, he said.

-Stop saying that, you’ve been given an incredible opportunity, you have to take advantage of it.-She tried to convince him.

-But I can’t imagine being away from you.-Hearing that, she lay down on his lap.

-We’ll get through this, you’ll see, and we’ll be strong.

The first year away was the hardest, not only for Joseph, but for her parents too, because seeing their daughter try to make a living racing karts, traveling all over Europe, was something that made them so proud, but at the same time so apprehensive.The second year seemed to be easier. They were already well accustomed to the routine of video calls, social media, messages, letters. They sent polaroids to hang up. Once, Joseph even caught himself putting his perfume on the paper to make sure she could smell him. They exchanged gifts, everything.

Until the careers arrived on television, Joseph could sit down and look for the channel to watch her and she could pick up the phone and watch the college divisionals.The fifth year passed, the sixth too, and then the seventh, when Joe finally took off in his career in American football, being drafted by the Cincinnati Bengals.

And the following year, Kayleigh did what she never imagined she would be able to do: she reached Formula One, after almost dying waiting for this event. Of course the party was huge, she returned to her country with all possible honor, suddenly a little girl from Ohio was going to compete for a title for a team and everyone wanted to know what this little girl does and better, where are the American boys who are not having the same prominence?But she could never say that it had any real effect on the American public. Formula One is still a playboy thing for them, to the point where they even consider golf a more accessible sport.

Just as she was there for Joe's big debut, he was there for his big debut, of course,but their contracts ended up preventing more contact. They had to train, they had to focus, they couldn't travel long distances or do physical work before their work, and they also couldn't be too far away from their work.

It allowed them to spend a few moments together. She would catch his last games if he made the playoffs and he would catch her first races,so much time apart didn't make their love diminish. On the contrary, seeing each other's achievements seemed to only strengthen their love for each other.And even without knowing, there was someone who was not at all happy with this growing love.

-Joe said he'll call me soon.-She jumps around the room excitedly, waiting for someone to call her to give her the prize.

-Hmm- Max makes an annoyed face, leaving his helmet on the stand.

-That's cute, it's the middle of the night in the United States, isn't it?-Carlos asks her, all smiles.

-Yes, it's the middle of the night and he stayed up.-She doesn't hide her smile.

-Really the last of the romantics.-Max rolls his eyes.

-Stop being annoying, she's so happy.-Carlos watches her like a doting father.

Max glares at him, enough for the Spaniard to avoid him and stay quiet.

And of course, the next day, as always happens after every race, Joe sends her a huge bouquet, with a dedication and, when he is present, romantic letters.For most people around him, it is just his European or rather, Dutch humor.

But for those who actually live with him and see the mistakes he makes and notices, the way he treats her when she talks about other things and when she talks about Joe, they understand very well.

Max messed up her hair, trying to free her mind from those thoughts, from that feeling, but realized it was difficult.After another podium with her, another trip to a random bar with everyone involved, the country's biggest celebrities and everything else, he could no longer stand two things.

The first, Charles flirting even with the walls of the place.

The second, the fact that she trusted George more than him, to tell him the reason for her 37th breakup with Joe.

-I honestly don't understand you guys, one moment you say that distance is good, the next you break up because of distance, make up your mind damn it-George, tired of the situation, slammed his hand on the table.He fixed his hair, looked around and composed himself.

-Sorry man, I got carried away-He spoke like most people do sometimes, treating her like a man.

-I know it's not the most normal thing to do, but it tires me out-She said finally, she didn't want to waste her friend's night with this, much less make him occupy his mind with his problems.

She went to the bar to order another drink, without realizing who was next to her.

-Did you bump into something?-She heard someone ask and then looked to the side to see Max.

-What do you mean?-She immediately became confused.

-Your leg is kind of purple,-he says.

-Oh, let's just say I might have fallen on my suitcase- She rolls her eyes.

-It's the third time this season.-He holds back his laughter.

-She goes everywhere and sometimes it happens.-She shrugs.

-Your suitcase can make you more purple than your boyfriend, I think it's time to trade him for her.-Max takes a sip of his drink, savoring every note of it, satisfied with yet another mean comment about Joe. He knows how distance affects him and that's nothing more than a psychological game, sending indirect messages that hurt.

As always, she remained silent, discreetly observing her leg and trying to cover the bruise, with her face reddened.

-I can't blame him, he's going after his dream." She answers for the first time, even if a while later and too quietly, as if she wasn't even there anymore.

Until the girl asks herself, why is Max worried about this?

For a second, Max almost misses the destination of the glass, looking at her.

-Really, there are men whose only dream is to chase a ball, not to have trophies and a woman who loves him.-He takes the opportunity to retort.

-Thanks for ruining the rest of my night, Max, you're always so sensitive.-She answers, choked, finishes her drink and walks towards the exit with long strides.

Max remains there at the bar, staring at the various bottles, some full, others half full, thinking that once again she leaves angry with him, because he doesn't defend her dear Joe.

-You don't have to be so rude all the time, I know you're used to guys around here, but you have to realize that there are girls around here now and they deserve to be treated with kindness and affection, did you know that women are people too?Lewis appears at her side, irritated by the situation.

-Have you stopped talking, Lewis Senna Hamilton?He scoffed.

Max was already drunk enough to almost drag himself back to the hotel.

And even after spending the next few hours thinking about whether or not to knock on her door, as he always does when he’s drunk, he decided it wasn’t the right time.

When he woke up with the sun and that strange feeling, since that’s usually when he goes to sleep, thanks to the jet lag, he allowed himself the luxury of staying a few more minutes in that comfortable bed, under all those sheets, grabbing the fluffiest of his pillows to hug, trying to get it into his head that he was hugging her, trying to get it into his mind that he woke up next to her that morning, it seems he was so used to doing this every morning that with each passing day, the images became clearer in his mind and the sensations stronger.

And for the next race he had a surprise, he jumped out and took off his helmet and head protector, looking in disbelief at the smiling couple on the sidelines watching the track.

-Joe, should I congratulate you or say my condolences? Max gives his best sarcastic smile.

-I don't understand- Joe's radiant smile fades.

-What do you expect from a player? Max grumbles, he had meters around to pass and reach his destination, a screen to review his training, but he made sure to pass between the two, bumping into Joe.

He placed his helmet on the table next to him, silently completing the malicious thought, about his possible dubious qi, when he saw Joe approaching through the shadow on the ground, his smile only grew wider.

Kayleigh decided to leave, aware that they would have some kind of argument.

-I don't understand your stubbornness, Max- Joe confessed, watching Max from a few inches away.

-I say it over and over again, what can you expect from a player? Max rolls his eyes.

-And what are you, don’t you play in this?Joe retorts.

-I’m a pilot, it’s different-he says, convinced.

On the side of the track, tired and just waiting for time to pass, the topic, as always, was just one.

-Max is PMSing- Lando comments while sitting on the floor.

-We should take up a collection and pay a gynecologist, so she can prescribe some medicine, I don’t know- Hulkenberg adds.

-I think what he needs is a psychiatrist, one minute he’s calm, the next he wants to kill you, he’s crazy- Lewis concludes.

-He just needs some time to calm down, recharge his batteries and rest- George defends him.

But he ends up getting angry looks from everyone.

-For this and other reasons, I stay away from that snake pit they call Red Bull, God forbid I have to deal with that creature - Charles says, looking disdainfully at their reserved space.

-No offense, Kay- He makes his observation.

-No offense, I can't stand it anymore- She confesses.

-Not even Kayleigh throws this tantrum when she's on her period, honestly we don't even know when that happens, thanks for sparing us- Lando thanks her, making her laugh.

-I think there are certain details that aren't necessary- She comments.

Max walks past the group with firm steps.

-No one moves their ass in this place, then they complain about the podium- He sends the indirect message with his angry eyes.

Everyone there exchanges glances.

-Hold the Japanese- Ricciardo warns.

-Why? Charles finds the request strange.

-I’m warning you, hold the Japanese guy-he repeats.

And indeed, poor Tsunoda is at breaking point with Max.

Joe left, but Max’s sourness didn’t.

During breakfast at the hotel, Pierre’s strawberries were more sour than expected.

-Her boyfriend leaves and doesn’t get a bruise on his neck, he’s a real wimp- Max grumbles, savoring his waffles.

George’s eyes widen, he wipes his mouth with the napkin next to him.

-Max, how rude. He glances at Max out of the corner of his eye.

But Pierre has the most priceless face, he looks like he’s eaten something spoiled.

-Jesus, you weirdo, who says that, keeps an eye on others, has he become a tax inspector now? He left his comment.

-Watch out guys, there are people watching our necks- Lando dramatically covers his with his sweatshirt.

-I think you should start thinking about where and when you say certain things, Max- Carlos warns him, earning his laugh.

-Why? Do you know anything?” The Dutchman stared at him.

-Common sense Max, just common sense- he retorted.

-That was ridiculously sexist, Max, if that’s what you say, imagine what you think- Lewis gives him his best disapproving look.

-Have you finished your testimony Lewis?Max provokes him.

Max’s life became increasingly complicated there, with the boys and his provocations, little by little choosing to be alone, but not as much as Kayleigh's, who, in addition to having to put up with his mood swings, also has to put up with Joe's suspicions.

His jealousy used to have no name, but now it has a first and last name. Kayleigh only sees one reason for it, the fact that they work together, nothing else could make sense, andexplaining it doesn't seem to help, Joe found himself wondering why they exchanged smiling handshakes live, if she hates him so much.

-Do you really think that after the race, I'll remember how much I hate him? Of course not, Joe. I just think that I won or that I need to improve, hug everyone involved and leave. - She explains, pacing back and forth across the room.

-I don't want to be the annoying guy, but he doesn't look like he hates you, he seems to take advantage of your innocence. - Joe says almost desperately.

-What innocence, Joe? - She asks him.

-Kay, I don't want to fight over this guy. I'm just saying that this isn't something that makes me comfortable. You're walking around half the world with them in a place full of men working, next to several men, and that bothers me. Not only because of jealousy, I don't know, maybe they'll try to do something to you. -

-Jesus, Joe, don't say something like that. I understand your side, okay. I'm not saying you're wrong, but you need to trust me. I won't betray your trust. I haven't done that in all these years. Why would I do it now? - She tries to calm him down.

-Sorry for stressing you out. - He sighs heavily.

And it's been like this for a while.

Even when they're not at work, free to visit somewhere, Max seems to show up in the same place as her or simply in a place nearby, which makes Joe even more suspicious.

But Max couldn't stop there. When he saw her calmly standing there taking some notes, Max approached her with the excuse of seeing what she was writing down and it was then that he took the opportunity to bring his face too close to hers, which left her somewhat speechless. He placed his hand on her hip, giving her a discreet caress.

-Studying for the race, kitten?- He smiled at her reaction, a mix of confusion and embarrassment.

-Sorry Kay, I forget that you're sensitive to male touches. He laughed, leaving her blushing and finally going where he wanted.

She closed her eyes, not liking it at all. His provocations were getting more and more personal with Joe.

Whenever Max managed to get the slightest hint, he would walk away smiling.

But this time, George decided to confront him.

-You should be ashamed of touching women who are in a committed relationship inappropriately- he says, somewhat indignantly.

-Have you had your tea yet, dear English nobleman?" George rolls his eyes.

-Max, I'm serious, that's not cool, it could cause unnecessary confusion- he insists.

-You look so cute saying 'unnecessary'.Max laughs at the guy, who decides to get more serious.

-When Joe gets pissed off and comes to punch you in the face, don't tell me I never warned you.

-Before he punches me in the face, he'll punch you in the face, because you're the little friend who's always around, hugging and advising when they break up. Do you really think he's going to come after me, George?

-I'm in a committed relationship, I've never done this with bad intentions. He doesn't like the accusation.

-Wow, now I'm confused, is this a swing or a threesome? Max laughs to himself.

George stopped walking at the same moment, offended and even more shocked by another accusation.

When he realized it, Max took a few steps back and ruffled his hair.

-Just kidding, George, you're so cute.

But even his happiest days get bad when he sees the two of them together on social media, kisses, dates, more kisses. Max is sure that if Joe knew how jealous he is of him, for being able to love the woman he loves, he would definitely dig a hole to the center of the earth and stay there, far from Max's eyes.

He has thought countless times about using Joe's number saved on his phone, to send some manipulated photo or one that would have a double meaning, but knowing the two of them, he believes that even that would be reason to break up and get back together after a few days.

But it's these photos, the flowers, the letters, her giggles in the corners of the hotel, that make him freak out when he shouldn't. After being next to her in one of the endless meetings and noticing his new gift, a ring on her finger, that was enough for Max to find any reason to start stomping his feet and shouting. And sometimes he even measures her before the race, in the best possible way, as if he were casting a curse on her. -Damn, did you two fight? The boy asks her. -Honestly, I don't know, he left the meeting shouting, now he just looks at me like that. She sighs tiredly. At one of the parties, thanks to Charlie, he can talk to her a little. -You know, girls, sometimes we reach 200 kilometers per hour.He boasts, the trio of friends start drooling in French. -You could say that I am speed. He gives her his most seductive smile.

Max denied it and snorted.

-If I say something like that, I'll get a restraining order.- He takes a good sip of his drink.

-Also, with a sensitive mood like that, you can be sure that many would be afraid. She teased.

-So I don't have a chance? He used his playful tone.

-You're quite cheeky, you know. She lightly took his hand as a quick friendly caress, more for his level of need, that wasn't just a caress.

Max took her hand, lifting it and bringing it to his lips, finally leaving a caress there.

She was embarrassed, but she couldn't see any harm in anything Max did; for her, that was just an apology for the previous treatment.

But from that day on, it could be said that Max started to look at her more, in increasingly shameless ways.

Once again, with a podium in his hands, he waited for her, making sure to catch her eyes, just so she could see him measuring her completely, and she could see that it really affected her.

Or another time, when she was already embarrassed by him staring at her, while she watched the screen with the replay of some moments of the race, he caressed her face, giving her a wink.

She certainly doesn't know what to do with that.

Joe can't dream of that, while Max seems to love it.

But what she didn't expect was for someone to tell Joe about the flirting and say that she is increasingly cornered by the situation.

Unfortunately for Joe, in the middle of his season and fortunately for Max, in the middle of Joe's season.

One day after getting out of the car, Max was waiting for her, not giving her much space to walk away, the girl took off her helmet without knowing what that was, does he want to solve something? Are they going to slap each other or something like that? She wondered.

-How are you, Max? She looked at him.

-You were amazing, you know that? He spoke softly, raising his hands again to her hips and patting them a few times.

-Thanks, I have to go - she said, without giving Max any space. He wanted to know how she was when her only option was to be ridiculously close to him.

The group was confused, to say the least, they didn't know what the hell was going on and what the atmosphere was like.

As Max walked away with firm steps, when he saw that she was far away, he decided to try to get along with the Red Bull team.

-Sometimes I forget that she's not a guy - he laughed for no reason, but he's not like the other boys, who really do forget that she's the woman there. Max remembers who she is every second.

But Joe's situation is nothing that a phone call can't solve.

-Joe, I don't understand who told you that? He asked.

-Someone I trust- Joe justifies himself.

-Joe, I'm going to be honest, if I had the chance to sleep with her, you can be sure I would have done it already, as many times as I could and you can be sure that every time I lie down in my bed, I wonder why it hasn't happened yet and guess what, it's your fault- Max decides to be honest just to hear what Joe has to say.

-You're really brave to say something like that, you know? You know what, I'm going to kill you- Joe gets upset enough for Max to have some difficulty understanding what he's saying, the Dutchman gave his best laugh.

-You know, just a simple touch on her hip makes her all embarrassed, it makes me wonder how long it's been since she's been with a real man, but apparently I don't think that's ever happened, especially since she's only been with you- He continued his provocations.

-Joe, it's really cool that you're the cute guy who gives flowers after every race, gives gifts, writes letters, but if I were you I'd start to worry, because there are a lot of people watching her and I'm one of those people- Joe snorted from the other side.

-Because you can be sure that if I were her boyfriend, her legs wouldn't need a stupid touch to go weak, a simple look would be enough to make her remember a lot of things, things like that my friend, let's be honest, we're among friends here, you don't- Max stabbed the last time, hearing a sound of something breaking and he was sure it wasn't a glass but the phone.

Kayleigh almost didn't find out anything, they both avoided the subject just waiting for the other to tell.

But as the races went by, the atmosphere between Max and her seemed increasingly confused.

With the end of another race, Max lifted her up in a hug that at the moment, out of joy, she didn't stop to think about everything that was happening, but Joe did.

-The thing is, if it were me, it wouldn't be just fucking work- Joe shouted loud enough for her to have to pull the phone away from her ear.

-It was just a hug Joe, we've been together for I don't know three, four years, we work side by side, I understand your jealousy, don't think I don't understand, I do understand and in your place I would be like that too, I'll talk to him okay, I promise I'll talk to him and we'll work this out- She tries to calm him down having this idea.

-Kayleigh Hawkins I trust you, please don't make me lose that trust in you, I love you regardless of whether we can't spend a month together without breaking up, I don't know what I would do without you- He asks sighing heavily on the other side.

-I never did anything to make you doubt me, you know that Joe, if I didn't like you, I wouldn't be with you until today, swallowing all these breakups, just promise me that you'll calm down, okay? I love you - She says finally.

She went to sleep and tried to calm her mind, she needed to be calm and talk to Max the right way, she knows how he is, even if she's a little uncomfortable with all this extra contact they're having, there's no reason to do this to Joe, to let him suffer with a situation that's already driving him crazy, he's far away and the only thing she can do is trust that they're telling him the truth.

She got ready, took pictures with everyone who asked and went into the nightclub, this time looking for Max, the first thing she thought would be that he'd be at the bar, as he always does, but nothing.

She spotted George and it doesn't hurt to try.

She nudged him lightly so that he would lean in without leaving the circle of conversation.

-Have you seen Max? She asks him.

-Thank God I haven't seen Satan today. I heard he came to Earth in the body of this Max guy, but honestly I think Max is the one possessing the devil. George turns back to the group of friends. Okay, that's not the information she wanted to hear today.

She asked Lando the question, indiscreetly interrupting him and a girl she doesn't know, earning a free kick.

-Man, I haven't seen him - Pierre says, already out of habit in the male environment.

She sighs, imagining two hypotheses: either he's hiding out with some girls or he's gone back to the hotel.

She quickly makes sure to send a message to Joe, saying that he's definitely with some woman and that she's going to wait a little longer to look for him again. She rolls her eyes at having to do that, still feeling like she's going to be really embarrassed.

She picked up her drink and decided to walk around again until she saw him walking outside with his glass and sitting alone at a table.

She hurried, she needed to be quick, she didn't want anyone to arrive in the middle of the process.

When she walked through the door, it was clear that he found it strange that she went there, he gave her a small smile that was returned.

-Can I sit here? She politely asked for one of the empty seats.

He put his hands under the armrest of his chair with a big smile.

-You can sit wherever you want.

-Okay - she mumbled tensely.

-What do you need? He asked her, making her a little embarrassed.

If he was having a bad day, it could get even worse, so she decided to be as cautious as possible.

-Joe talked to me yesterday, he was a little upset about our hug, he got jealous of you and you know, I don't want that to get in the way of anything, not you, me or him, so if you could reduce the physical contact it would be a big help. She smiles nervously.

Joe said he's jealous? he asks with the same apathetic expression.

It was then that his laughter startled her.

-Yeah, I know, it's irrational. She quickly agrees, starting to lose her voice and blush with embarrassment, she didn't need to be making such a fool of herself, she thought.

Max froze when he heard that and with his best ironic tone, asked her to continue.

-We've known each other for years, we work together on the same team, it's crazy to say this, I'm really sorry for this boring conversation, but I promised him I'd talk to you, you know- she's already preparing for the next kick, he'd probably say it's a favor not to have to hug her and that would be the kindest thing she could imagine that could come out of his mouth.

-First of all, I'm an educated man, so I wouldn't be talking nonsense, smiling, complimenting, or any of that crap to someone I'm not interested in. We both know you're smart, you don't need to force it so much. She's in a mix of understanding and not understanding.

He looks at her and realizes he's only confused her even more.

-Tell your boyfriend, if he's jealous, he'll have to have the balls to come here to solve it - Max says, enjoying the situation.

-This will create an unnecessary situation, you know, you don't need all this for a misunderstanding- she explains again.

-Let me explain something to you, since you didn't have the tact to notice, from the damn moment I met you, well before I knew that this idiot was your boyfriend, I was already in love with you and something stopped me from talking to you, my girlfriend. Now I'm single and nothing stops me from talking to you. Are you going to say you never noticed? Her feet fell, as she tried to reason, she felt a cold hand go up her thigh. She froze there, not knowing what to do, looking at Max who had the most peaceful expression in the world.

She looked down, seeing the hem of her loose black dress rising higher and higher, exposing the area. She couldn't understand how Max, who distributes rudeness, now had a hand on her thigh. She delicately brought her hand to meet his, making eye contact with him again, but when she thought she would stop her hand, she only made him squeeze the spot and get even closer to where he shouldn't.

-Max I think you- She prepares to get up, but he is faster.

-Sit down, we're not done talking - he uses his most gentle tone, but even so it's hard to say anything.

-That idiot Joe has even threatened to kill me, you know, because he knows that I like you and I made one thing clear to him and now it's going to be clear to you, the only thing I need is for you to say yes, you know where my room is, it's always next to yours, it's not hard to find, when you get tired of this idiot you can knock on my door. - He walks away.

-That's not how it works, it's not about getting tired of my boyfriend -She is cut off.

-I don't know how and what you like about him, so yes, it's a matter of getting tired of him

Even with the shock, she stayed quiet and didn't say anything to anyone, she thought that would make things easier, but everything got worse with Max.

Now besides being a sweetheart, he's simply everywhere.

This includes grabbing her hand when she is focused on the training screens, indiscreetly measuring her and, what has caught the team's attention the most, the number of times he touches her hair.

On another day, finishing some notes about the current track, she doesn't know when he appeared, but he started massaging her shoulders, slowly moving up to her neck. The first thing she did was cough to discreetly send him away, which didn't help.

-You need to relax, Kay, you're too tense - he says quietly.

One of the guys on the team walked by them.

-I'm enjoying seeing you helping each other, Red Bull spirit - the guy leaves smiling.

-Max, that's enough, you're going too far -she says through clenched teeth.

-That's my specialty. He laughed, one of his arms serving as support so he could slide his hand down her spine as far as he could reach, slowly moving up, noticing her held breath.

-You need to relax, why don't you take a deep breath and let my hands help you?He suggested.

-I need you to stop with the double-meaning jokes - She asked.

He didn't answer, he just brought his fingers to the back of her neck, massaging the tips of them and moving down a little, he got as close as the backless bench would allow, pressing her head against his torso, and finally sliding his fingers from her jaw until they almost reached her lap.

-And what kind of massage is this? Can you explain it to me? She asked reluctantly.

-A casual massage, like any other, I think that massage is more about touching someone's skin until you see relaxation appear, and that angle of you is wonderful - He teased, aware that with the force used there it would be difficult for her to move.

-Max, I didn't know you could give a massage - Lando shouts from outside.

-That's great for those who wear a helmet.

-I'll have one - Lando says, and Charles agrees next to him.

-Me too.

-Sure, boys. I'll be right there when I'm done. He smiles at the two of them, who continue on their way.

-Why aren't you writing it down? Did you forget what you wanted? He gives his most fake tone of concern.

But by giving her the massage right there, he makes it difficult for her to say anything.

He then gently lowers his fingers and finishes, bending down a little so that he's at the height of her neck.

-Stop pretending you didn't like it. Considering that you're dating Joe and how much your skin is crawling, I think you should go to the bathroom and get yourself together - he pats her shoulder.

-It's great to see how satisfying these hands are, not just on the steering wheel. He laughs, walking away and giving her another wink. Kayleigh closed the notebook, wanting to bury her face in the ground. This can't be happening. Max can't be serious. But he is very serious and to make the test complete, he decided to tease her with a little more than words. The situation has already escalated to a point where she doesn't know if she can keep denying it and, worse, what to say to Joe when he calls at the end of the day and she has the same scared expression. Suddenly, the guy who was a jerk to everyone has become an angel with her and, on top of that, says he's in love with her, to the point of making a scene. The point is, she doesn't know how far he's going with the description, but Max knows well.

Tsunoda, who is next to the two, was a bit embarrassed by his face towards her and hers towards the floor. He doesn't know if coughing would help to start a conversation or if anything else, the atmosphere around them became unpleasant and even tense. 

She was grateful when she saw Carlo approaching, smiling as always, and greeted everyone, but before they could say anything. 

-We would make a beautiful couple, wouldn't we? He points at her, who freezes in disbelief. 

-Isn't she with Joe? Carlos asks. 

-I didn't ask about him, I'm talking about us. Tsunoda and Sainz stare at each other, not knowing what to say, along with her, who has wide eyes. 

-Of course, they would be great, she's very pretty and you - Carlos is cut off. 

-Really, she's beautiful. Max gives his best smile to Kay, who pretends not to have heard anything.

-I heard Lando calling me, bye guys. He left in a hurry without looking back. It didn't matter that they must have been there for an event or something, he would arrive at the last minute and that was it.

But her destination ended up being the same as his.

Max took advantage of the hotel corridor being empty, to reach her and hug her body from behind, holding her. Kay moved, trying to get out of the tight spot, and then Max decided to play it low, going up to her neck and nibbling it.

-Can't you see that it's crowded here, can't you see that this is going to hurt me? She asked him irritably, trying to stop him from continuing to caress her.

-You said that I always mistreated you, I'm just treating you the way I should, making my interests obvious to everyone. He replied.

And then only two breaths were heard in the hallway, Max continued the attack on her neck, sliding his hand until he reached the hem of the woman's pants where she quickly grabbed him.

-Are you going to run away again? You know that the more you run the better it is for me, because then I'll feel like I've won you over. He then released her, turning her to face him.

When he realized, he was against a wall in one of the many empty hallways, Max brought his hand to her face, squeezing her cheeks.

-Do you know how much it hurt me to spend four years of my life, seeing you with that clown, while you were always by my side? Do you know what it's like to see him deliver flowers, letters and then suddenly it all ends, you feel hope, then you come back and all this repeats itself over and over again, meanwhile, I'm the guy who's always here, do you know how horrible that is? He asked her somewhat irritated, not with her anymore, but with the situation.

-Not even when you were hospitalized after a crash, he showed up, like a good teammate I went there, do you understand now how much I need you to dump him and let me make you truly happy? he asked, letting his hand slip.

He steps away slightly, Kay runs her hands through her hair, messing it up, looking to one side nothing but an empty hallway, looking to the other the same and Max in front of her waiting for the answer.

-You guys break up all the damn time, break up with him, spend some time with me and then if you regret it, which I highly doubt, you go back to him. Max waits for her decision, staring at her.

-I can't... he quickly cuts her off.

-You can't throw away your childhood love, a beautiful childhood love that you see for three months and then only next year."

She swallows that.

-I may not be the nicest guy, nor as loved by everyone as he is, but I will be here and I know very well how much you want someone who is here. He gently takes her hand.

-You want someone who will hold your hand, praise you, watch you run, can do something stupid together, someone who understands you, someone who is not so fickle, someone who is here to wake up next to you, who will hug you at night, who can touch you and he can't do any of that but I can and I want to. The distance between the two became short again until the wall appeared.

Kayleigh took a deep breath and nodded slightly, she was afraid that she was under the effect of his power of persuasion and even more so of those eyes, but she couldn't deny it. She did miss Joe's presence, she loved him, not having him around was always the biggest obstacle.

And this obstacle would only have one solution, one of the two of them giving up their careers.

The fact is that once again they have been separated for a week, but as always she cries on the day and then pretends that nothing happened and they are together.

-We broke up last week - she begins, still thoughtful. -We can try, but I don't want anyone to know, because if nothing works out, I don't want it to become a mess, or for anyone to talk about it - she asks. -They'll start seeing me smile, it'll be kind of obvious - he approaches. -Are you sure?" He asks cautiously first. -Yes - he agrees. Max presses the elevator button, leaves a hand caressing her ear, preparing to finally kiss her for the first time. Max never hides his desire, much less his rush, but even so, he takes Kayleigh by surprise when he lets his hands roam guiltlessly over her body in that hallway.

He finally felt the weight, anger and hurt of all those years being thrown aside, being extracted from her body, he wouldn't say she wanted to wait so long, but being able to drive Joe crazy, just like he had been all this time was wonderful, now he finally has what he wants, her.

[i9messi]

request for Pablo Gavi x Messi daughter reader! I think it would be cool to see Gavi meeting the family or any ideas are amazing as well, please take your time don’t rush thru it love your work your doing amazing have a wonderful day,afternoon, night <3🫶

Messi's daughter — Pablo Gavi

Word count — 1,1k

gavi's masterlist

"Relax, it’s not a big deal." You tried to calm your boyfriend, who was totally scared to meet your dad.

And the truth was, in a certain way, you understood him. Your dad wasn’t just a normal guy, just like he wasn’t any normal football player. He was Lionel Andrés Messi, also known as the goat. The greatest of all times. Gavi was totally nervous to meet him in person, especially when you were his idol’s daughter.

He was really nervous about a lot of things, like for example, Lionel thinking that he wasn’t enough for you, or that he would give him a bad impression. Gavi loved you and was totally convinced that you were his favorite person and that he wanted to be with you all his life. Still, he felt insecure about meeting him and being judged by nothing else than Messi.

"It's a big deal. It’s Lionel Messi, I have admired him since I'm a kid."

"Yeah, he’s also my dad and he’s an ordinary human being. Vamos."

You had taken advantage of those days off that Gavi and you had to go to Paris, where your dad and your family were staying, due to Messi's career in the PSG. You haven't seen your family in the last months, since you were attending university in Barcelona and it was difficult to keep in touch. You missed your family, your dad, your mom and your brothers. You missed drinking mate and eating asado, things that were a tradition in your family.

You heard music as soon as you entered the house and you followed the sounds. You found your mom, Antonela, sitting on the couch in the living room. The two hugged instantly, releasing small screams and almost yelling how much you had missed each other. She began to look at you from top to bottom, saying that you had grown a lot in that time you had been in Spain. Once she finished paying attention to you and your changes, she looked at Gavi.

The boy was so still that he didn’t seem to be breathing. Pablo was nervous, so much that it made you laugh. You approached him and held his hand, inviting him closer.

"This is my boyfriend, Pablo Gavi."

"Nice to meet you, Gavi." With the kindness that characterized her, Anto approached the football player and shared a hug with him, "Want to eat something? I prepared a little of everything."

Gavi was already embarrassed and shook his head saying no. "Nice to meet you too. I thank you, I already ate."

"He’s a liar, he didn’t eat anything but he’s embarrassed to say yes." You explained and Gavi looked at you with the same look on his face when he didn’t like something. It was his typical face during a bad match. You let out another laugh.

"There’s no need to be ashamed, Gavi. You’re part of the family now." Your mother said, smiling at him.

"Where’s papá?" you wonder.

When it seemed that Gavi was feeling more comfortable, that question made him stand straight again. Your mom told you he was in the backyard and you walked with your boyfriend. Gavi’s hand was sweating a little and he looked more nervous than at any awards ceremony.

"Everything’s gonna be okay, amor."

"I hope so."

You met your dad who was playing football in the backyard with your three brothers. The kids practically ran into your arms when they noticed you, screaming your name. You let go of your boyfriend’s hand for a moment and hugged the kids. That was the moment Leo Messi approached Gavi. The Barça player hardly breathed and when Leo smiled at him, things improved for him. It was a nice start.

"Hi, I’m Leo."

As if half the world didn’t know his name already, you rolled your eyes and looked at your brothers, who asked you a lot of questions.

"Who is that boy?" asked Ciro, the youngest, pointing innocently to Gavi.

"He’s my boyfriend, Pablo. I told you about him."

"I don’t want you to have a boyfriend." the kid simply said.

You smiled, "Why? I love him and he loves me."

None of your brothers seemed convinced that their older sister had a boyfriend but they didn't say anything else. You paid attention again to the conversation between your dad and Gavi, seeing that the brunette was almost pale.

"I'm Pablo, señor Messi"

"Don't call me like that, call me Leo. You want unos mates?" Lionel smiled at your boyfriend, pointing to the argentinian infused drink, which consisted of yerba mate mixed with hot water.

"Yes, of course. I'm a big fan of you, Leo."

Gavi was completely excited now, like a little boy who met his idol in person and wanted to enjoy every second of that meeting. You came to hug your dad, who took you in his arms. You spoke a little with him, introducing Pablo to the conversation, so he could talk a little and the two men would get along. After all, they ended up talking about the World Cup, Barça and football. You saw your boyfriend smile when Messi asked if he wanted to play football with him and his sons. Since they needed another player, you offered to play with them.

You were teaming up with your boyfriend and the oldest of your brothers, Thiago. While Messi was playing with his other two children. Since you knew that both your dad and Gavi were a little rough playing, you decided to be the goalkeeper. Almost forty minutes later, Leo Messi was winning the game, along with your little brothers. You had not been able to catch any of the goals that your dad had made and it was no surprise, but at least you had caught one of your brothers' try of goal.

You apologized to go drink some water and one of your brothers took your place. You sat on the floor and started drinking your water bottle alone. Once the men finished playing ball, they talked a little longer and your boyfriend came over and also sat on the floor, next to you. Gavi was a little sweaty.

"See? It wasn’t a big deal, my dad is a normal human being." you joked, knowing in advance that Pablo was fascinated with Messi.

"I played football with Messi, I am completely satisfied for life."

"I'ma little bit jealous, you know?"

He looked at you, "I love you but you know, he is Messi."

"Bobo."

He kissed you and you smiled. Lucky him and lucky you, your family adored Pablo.

[messedupfan]

Benefits of Car Troubles | 4

Summary: Y/n meets the Shaws.

A/n: Hello! Sorry for not being very active. I finally got one of those weekday jobs and it has taken my time. I hope y'all are well! Happy New Year! Here's to 2023!

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist | One Two & Three

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Uh, hi,” you say as you double check the house. It was most definitely the Shaw home. 

“Oh! You must be the guest of honor!” She says as she invites you further into the house. You step in, a little confused by the way she is acting. But maybe it was best to pretend to have never met each other before. It's not as though that night was very memorable for either of you. At least, not in a good way. “They are excited to meet you in a more formal setting than just the random person that shows up at the front door every now and then.” She rattles on and on to fill the silence and avoid any awkwardness. Or maybe to prevent you from saying anything. 

The slight panic you felt when seeing her again disappears the second you hear Leigh laughing in the kitchen. When you see her, your heart swells in your chest and you grin at her. “Hey beautiful, I'm so happy to see you,” you greet her with a kiss on her cheek. She smiles down to the vegetables she was chopping and blushes slightly. Leigh sets the knife and the carrot down on the kitchen island and she wipes her hands on her apron as she stands next to you. 

Leigh takes a breath as she straightens up and locks her arm around yours, “Mom, Jules, this is my partner,” she gestures to you and you smile at them. You would wave but you haven't had a chance to set down the three bouquets yet. “Y/n, this is my family.” 

“It's nice to meet you, Jules and…” you give her mom an opportunity to reveal her name and she does so with a tight smile. You can see it in her eyes that she doesn't like any of this. Her daughter, pregnant, in the middle of a divorce, and already in a relationship with someone new. You quickly began to feel nervous. You clear your throat as you set the flowers on an empty space on the counter and you hand them out accordingly. You shove your hands in your pockets as you begin to feel a little sheepish about bringing flowers instead of something better. But without knowing much about either of them, it would have been hard to get them a gift that would win them over. “I apologize for not bringing some flowers for you, I didn't see the text about your presence until I got to the door,” you avoid looking in Jules' girlfriend's direction as you make the apology. 

“That’s okay,” Jules says. “She can have mine,” she hands your one-night-stand the flowers and you begin to feel guilty and uncomfortable. 

The woman lovingly smiles at her girlfriend. It almost makes you sick. If she cared about her so much, how could she have cheated with you? You ask if Leigh can show you around the house a bit and though she finds the request odd, she removes her apron and pulls you out of the kitchen by hand. You half listen to the stories she tells as you enter each room on the first floor, too anxious to really listen. When you get upstairs, she shows you to her room with a seductive look on her face. You are too panicked to notice until she shuts the door behind her and pushes you onto the bed. 

“Woah, hold on,” you say as you try to stand up. Leigh pushes you back down and straddles your lap making it difficult to move from the bed. “Wait, I’m–” she cuts you off with your lips and you lean into the kiss for a moment. But then you put your hands on her shoulders and gently push her back. “Leigh, please, I need to tell you something.” 

“Oh, I thought this was why you wanted a tour,” she says as she begins to shy away, removing herself from your lap completely and sitting next to you. 

“No, I really wish that was the case. Especially with what I have to say,” you nervously play with your ear. Leigh frowns as she watches you and learns more about you from your subtle actions. She tells you that you can tell her anything and you hope that is true. Because this is a big thing and you hadn’t even known it at the time. 

“Y/n, can you please say something? You’re starting to scare me,” Leigh says as she puts her hand on your bicep. 

“Remember how I told you that I had slept with someone?” You start and instead of looking at her, you look at her overflowing closet in front of you.

“Oh no,” Leigh says and you assume she has it figured out. “You didn’t.”

“Yeah, I know, I know. How was I–”

“I can’t believe you got another girl pregnant!” She exclaims, rising from her bed. 

“What?! No! That’s not–No! Leigh, listen,” you stand up and grab her by her shoulders to have her face you. “I didn’t get her pregnant, but she is here tonight.” You watch her expression to see if she understands what you are saying and when it looks like she has it, she starts to get red. 

“I cannot believe you thought it would be okay to bring that whore to my childhood home! You go out to your car and you get rid of her!” Surprisingly, through all of the irrational thoughts and anger, Leigh keeps her voice low. Which you are grateful for. 

“No, Leigh, you don't understand. She was here before I got here. I had no idea that she would be here,” you continue to dance around the subject. Hoping she would get it without you having to blatantly admit that you slept with her sister's girlfriend. 

Her expression changes again, this time to one of concern and you know that she still doesn't get it. “Oh my goodness, are you being stalked? Was she hiding in the bushes or did you see her car parked outside or something?”

“No, no, that's not what I meant,” you massage your eyebrows. 

“Just spit out what you mean then, damnit!” Leigh says. 

“The girl from that night at the bar is Jules’ girlfriend,” you rush out in a panic. “Please don't be mad at me. I wish I could take it back. I can’t believe that it happened at all! A-and please don't make a scene downstairs. I don’t think it would be fair to your sister.” 

Leigh has her hand over her chest and dramatically falls to her bed. “I can't believe it.” She looks around her room. “I know that they've been going through some tough times lately, with Jules' sobriety and everything that comes with that but, never did I think Estelle would do that to her.” 

“Oh shit, I forgot about that! Gosh, I’m such an asshole. I’m at a loss for words. I feel terrible,” you stammer out as you pace the room. 

“Honey, it's not your fault. You couldn't have known,” Leigh tries to comfort you but you can’t stop pacing. “Besides, you weren't the one in a committed relationship at the time. You were allowed to be with someone that night. She wasn't.”

You don't feel better from her words. In fact, they only hurt you further. It was like she was confirming having broken up with you during that time. At the time, you weren’t sure what was happening between the two of you. It’s one of the original reasons you felt awful for sleeping with that girl in the first place. Now that you know you weren’t cheating on Leigh, it made you feel somewhat better, but still somehow worse. You have never been more confused by your emotions in your life. 

“I guess we have to go down there, pretend nothing has happened. Because you're right, it's not our place to tell Jules.” Leigh dusts her pants off as she stands. She stops you in your tracks and places her hand on the nape of your neck. Her touch is calming and the softness in her eyes is heartwarming. “Listen, I know I'm not exactly in a position to tell you this, but if you ever cheat on me I will kill you.”

You can't help but crack a smile, “Oh, so your ex gets to cheat and live?” 

She lets out a small laugh, “My ex led me to you so, I'm not that upset with him.”

“I must say, you are smooth, Miss Shaw,” you pull her closer by her waist and just as you're about to kiss, Estelle walks into the room. 

“Hi, uh, sorry to interrupt,” she smiles nervously. Leigh doesn't even glance in the girl's direction as she continues to get what she wants. You are happy to have her lips on yours for the moment and when she pulls away, she whispers that she loves you. You watch her walk out of the room after Estelle explains that Leigh is needed downstairs. Your girlfriend tries her best to hide how upset she is with the woman and thankfully it goes unnoticed by her since Estelle was keeping her gaze to a photo on the wall behind you. 

“We should probably—”

“I need you to keep what happened between us a secret. From all of them, please, you cannot tell Leigh. She'll kill me and then she'll tell Jules and she'll kill me.” Estelle interrupts you with her pleas. “It was a stupid thing to do. I know. And I really do love Jules, it was just… it was a mistake. I shouldn't have to lose the love of my life over a foolish mistake. Right?” 

For a moment you regret telling Leigh, because she's right. She shouldn't have to lose everything over one stupid mistake. But that wasn't a fair ask of you, to keep it a secret for her. You figured you could get Leigh to hold off a little longer when it came to telling Jules so you felt okay about lying to Estelle. At least for a little bit. “I can hold off on telling Leigh as long as you talk to Jules—”

“I can't do that! She'll relapse and they will all blame me! Please,” she grabs you by your shirt as she desperately begs. “We have to keep what happened between us.”

You aren't quite sure what to tell her in order to calm her down so you agree to keep it between the two of you. She thanks you with a tight hug that you don't return. And then she runs out of the room filled with relief. You just hoped that Leigh would keep her promise to you. At least until you can figure out why Estelle had cheated with you. 

What upsets you the most is that you asked her a handful of times if she was single and every time, she said yes. Something like this is exactly what you were avoiding. You shake your head and step out of Leigh's bedroom to head downstairs. Dinner runs smoothly, although you find it difficult to enjoy your food when Jules and Estelle are being mushy and you know what is being hidden. Leigh makes it somewhat bearable when she looks at you to roll her eyes at them. 

Amy warms up to you a little bit but you're sure that it will take a long time before she accepts you. But at least she feels comfortable enough to tell you that she hasn't seen Leigh so happy in years. You try not to be cocky about it, but it does make you feel a sense of pride. That you've been able to accomplish something in a few months that her husband couldn't in years. 

By the end of the night, you're not ready to go home alone but you have to. The goodbye kiss that you share with Leigh only leaves the both of you craving more and you invite her to come back with you. She almost accepts. But then she remembers how gross she is in the middle of the night. How she had hardly been getting any sleep and you get up so early, she'd rather you have your rest. Leigh frowns as she lightly swings your combined fingers and promises another time. You kiss her hand before letting go.

The next day, you wake up to a dozen notifications. A few messages from Leigh and a few from your social media. The ones from Leigh are sweet “I miss you's” and I love you's. They make you grin and you respond to her first thing before getting out of bed.

As you're getting ready for work, you check the rest of your notifications. All which turned out to be from Estelle. A follow notification and lots of dms from her. Some were voice memos which let you know she was wasted. A couple of lewd texts. Then four pictures, each in a different state of undress with the last text inviting you to her apartment. You sigh and shake your head. She has everyone fooled.

Taglist: @madamevirgo @wqndanat @thisischaismagic @artisannat @olsensnpm @evenbeingcrazy1998 @bentleywolf29 @awkwardmandalorian @agaymilflover @sayah13 @princessprudy @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @piningismymiddlename @the-writer-arcane @diaryoflife @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @aloneodi @druggedduck @abimess

[escapismqueen]

Chenford + drunk confession

Hey, here’s a little fic for your prompt. Thank you for requesting it, I really needed the inspiration 😂💕hope you like it 🥰

A Chenford pre-relationship fic- How do you know ?

Lucy is having a rough day, so with the help of Tim, Nyla and Angela take her out for the night. But what happens when Lucy drunkenly confesses something to not only Angela, but to Tim as well ?

Inc: Fluff, hurt/comfort, protective Tim, Angela, Nyla and Lucy being adorable

Warnings: alcohol consumption and talk of a difficult parental relationship

Tim looked over at Lucy in the shop, eyebrows scrunched in concern at her lack of conversation. Usually, she’ll have told him 3 different stories by now, wether they be from childhood, police academy or just last night; she always had something to tell him. And as much as Tim would complain and exclaim that there was to be ‘no personal talk’ in the shop, he secretly loved it and felt excited every time Lucy opened her mouth.

“You okay ?” He stares at her every few seconds, his focus on the road suddenly seeming unimportant and dull. Lucy’s head swings towards Tim’s, his words snapping her out of the trance she’s been in for the past half an hour. “Hmm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine” she answers in a tone of voice that is fooling nobody; especially not Tim Bradford.

Tim breathes out, hands clenching around the steering wheel, knuckles turning white as his agitation and anxiety rises. Lucy always tells him what’s wrong, she even gave him a 20 minute speech once about how ‘it’s important to acknowledge your own feelings so you don’t get lost in them’. She’d told him this when they got called out to a Domestic- the couple had been arguing every night for a week and had several calls made about them to the police; turns out that they were just missing each other because they’d both been working late. Lucy had a lot to say on the matter.

Thinking about a way to approach the subject without pushing her too hard, Tim keeps glancing at Lucy, eyes darting back and forth between her and the road. Her silence doesn’t diminish, so Tim makes a decision that even has him questioning his professionalism. He pulls the shop over to the curb, feeling confident that today is a quieter day, and there’s been no calls to them as of yet.

Lucy casts her gaze towards Tim hesitantly; did he just pull over ? It’s not their lunch break yet and they haven’t had a call, what’s gotten into him ? “Tim, wha-“

“Tell me what’s going on” he looks at her with an impatient expression, jaw slightly hardened and his whole body turned towards her. He may be trying to seem annoyed, but Lucy doesn’t miss the worry that floats in his eyes; she’s seen it enough times to know when it’s there. “It’s nothing important, honestly I’m fine.” Tim sighs, the look of disbelief that crosses his face is almost humorous, and Lucy wound have laughed if she didn’t feel so crappy.

“You’re fine ? So that’s why you’ve not said a word all day and why you’ve been moping about looking outside your window ? That’s fine is it ?” She looks at him with exasperation, though she’s privately flattered that he cares this much. “It’s my Mom” he nods in understanding; this explains her mood. Tim knows Lucy Chen like the back of his hand, and he knows how complicated her relationship with her Mother is, so whatever problem she is currently harbouring, it can’t be a good one.

“It’s just, we haven’t really spoken properly for a while, since she said all that stuff about my job. But it was her birthday yesterday so I called her up last night, and she just- she just completely tore me down in any way she could ! It was either ‘you’re stupid for staying at this job’ or ‘you’re not being a very good daughter’ or ‘have I had any dates recently, because a man ‘won’t wait forever’” she rolls her eyes in frustration, her hands flying up to emphasise every word she utters. Tim can’t help but focus on the last one ‘a man won’t wait forever’, he may not know everything when it comes to love, but he knows that a man in love would wait, and he would wait until the end of time for a woman like Lucy; he knows he would, but he’s not about to tell her that.

“I’m just so sick of feeling small around her. I’m sick of never feeling good enough in anything I do!” Her anger is clear from any angle, wether she could be heard or not, her body language screamed rage, hurt, exhaustion. Tim can feel his heart tighten at the sound of torment in her voice. Lucy is the epitome of sunshine, and so seeing her any different feels wrong. He thinks for a moment, unsure if he can say what he wants to, he doesn’t want to overstep and upset her even more, but they’ve been through so much together, and each of them trusts the other with their life, so he convinces himself to open up.

“Listen Chen, I don’t know if this is my place to say, but I’m going to anyway” he takes a breath and looks deeply into her eyes with sincerity. “Nobody, and especially not your Mom, should be speaking to you like that. You’re feeling angry and upset because the way she treats you is wrong and just because she gave you life, doesn’t mean she gets to decide what you do with it. And for the record, any man stupid enough not to wait for you, doesn’t deserve you in the first place.” Tim’s eyes widen slightly in surprise at himself; sure, they’ve had heart to hearts before, many times in fact, but has he ever said anything that personal regarding her love life ?

Before Lucy can give her response, Tim cuts in, anxious to sway her mind from the last thing he said. “I’m just saying, it’s okay if you need to cut her out completely, at least for a while. You may be her daughter, but she’s your mother, and mothers aren’t supposed to cause their daughters pain.”

Lucy is silent, her mind digesting every word that she’s just heard. She needed this. Other than Jackson, everyone else had told her that her mother only had her ‘best Interest at heart’ but it’s easy to say that when you haven’t lived with it your whole life. And here Tim is, saying easing her worry and guilt by completely validating her feelings, and telling her that it’s her Mom that’s in the wrong. She didn’t realise how much she needed to hear it from somebody else, and now that Jackson is gone, she thought she’d never hear it again. Lucy knew that Tim understood that she felt a certain way towards her Mother, but she hadn’t realised he knew just how much he understood. In a way, she supposes she should have considering what she knows about Tim’s dad, but when her Mom signed her up to have her eggs frozen, Tim’s response had been “or, she’s just looking out for you knowing how busy you are” so it’s safe to say his response to this did surprise her slightly.

Lucys continued silence starts to ring alarm bells in Tim’s head “Lucy, I’m sorry, I-“

“No, no, don’t be. You don’t know how much that meant to me, so Thankyou.” She gives him a reassuring smile and a grateful stare that she hopes he doesn’t miss. “And you’re right, I think I’m going to tell her we can’t speak for a while, even on holidays.” Tim nods in agreement, happy that she’s realising she deserves to be treated better. The look between them doesn’t falter for a second, a depth to their stare that says more than words ever could. Both of them gulp in anticipation, not quite knowing what feeling is lingering in the air.

“Assault Suspect heading on foot towards Brook street, white male, black suit, suspect is armed” Lucy and Tim are brought out of their haze by the sound of the radio. Tim knows immediately that they’re close to Brook street, he saw it just before he parked the shop. And he now knows that whatever moment he and Lucy were just having, is very much over. “7 Adam 19, pursuing suspect on Brook street”

Later on at the station

Angela walks up to Tim, a determined stride in her step, and a mischievous glance on her face. Oh no, the last time Angela had this look on her face, she’d told him to fire her maid of honour, what could she possibly have in mind now ? “What’s happening?” Tim asks warily, failing to hide the humour in his words. Angela smirks at him and wiggles her eyebrows “Timothy, I have a task for you” Tim’s eyes narrow, the teasing tone and full name that she uses, causing him uneasiness; and Angela knows it. “Spit it out”

“I need you to be the chauffeur for a girls night tonight.”

“What ?! No! The game is on tonight, why can’t Wesley ?” He looks away in exasperation, hands thrown up either side of him. Angela sighs impatiently, she hasn’t got time to lay all the groundwork out for him, and tell him all about Wesley’s new case that’s been keeping him late at work; she’s supposed to be in a meeting right now, so she uses the only card that she knows will undoubtedly work “it’s for Lucy”. Tim’s head snaps her way with force, an intrigued expression now replacing his previous exasperated one.

“What is it ?” Angela smiles in victory “wellll, I noticed Lucys been a bit down today, so Nyla and I decided that we’re taking her out tonight. And you are going to happily take us and pick us up so we can all have a nice drink.” Her eyebrows begin to raise again, arms crossing in defiance, there’s no way Tim is getting away with a ‘no’ on this one. He sighs in defeat, puffs of air releasing through his lips “Fine, what time ?”

At the bar

Angela, Nyla and Lucy sit close around the table at the bar. They arrived almost two hours ago and Lucy has had the absolute pleasure of ranting all about her problems, with Angela and Nyla backing her up and listening intently to everything she said. They were right- she needed this. Nyla raises her glass of water, a smile on her face and a relaxed, peppy air about her. “Here’s to living our lives by our own choices, and not giving a fuck about what anyone thinks of it.” “Damn right” Lucy and Angela comment in unison. A look of recognition crosses Nyla’s features and she re raises her glass, both Angela and Lucy looking on confused. “And here’s to Tim Bradford for forgetting that I’m pregnant, so could have easily been the designated driver tonight.” Laughter erupts from the table in a ferocious parade, onlookers smiling at the joy of the clearly close friends.

“Okay, I’m gonna have to run to the bathroom because this baby is jumping on my bladder like nobody’s business” Nyla gets up from the table , a quick skip In her step, and Angela takes the private moment to ask Lucy something that has been on her mind. “So, how’s things with you and Chris?” Lucy looks up, eyes particularly bugged out for the casual nature of the question, which doesn’t go unseen by Angela. “Oh? Erm, yeah, things are fine-great, yeah, we’re good” Angela’s left eyebrow arches at the fumbling of Lucy’s words. She asked this question for a reason; she knows Lucy isn’t happy with Chris, she’s aware she’s settling because she thinks she can’t have what she really wants- Tim. But she knows Tim Bradford, and Tim Bradford wants Lucy Chen. She’s so desperate for those two idiots to figure it out, so she prods her more.

“You don’t seem too confident in that answer” By now, Lucy’s had a few drinks, and her usual barrier she puts up of hiding feelings for Tim, was getting weaker by the second. “Mmmm, I mean, Chris is a nice boyfriend, but I’m just not sure he’s great for me” Lucy winces and drops her head into her hands, instantly regretting revealing such things when she hasn’t even said them out loud to herself yet. Angela rests a comforting hand upon Lucy’s forearm, and pulls her hands away from her eyes, getting her to look at her own. “Look, I know it’s not exactly my business, but nobody in the history of time has ever referred to their boyfriend as ‘nice’ when things were going great. It’s easy to settle when you think you don’t have a chance at what you really want, but If I were you, I wouldn’t give up so quick.”

Lucy’s brows scrunch in bewilderment. Angela hit the nail on the head with everything she said; maybe a little too much- what does she know ? Have a chance at what she really wants? What would make her say that with the little information she gave her about Chris?. Her mind begins to turn foggy, and before either of them can think through the question anymore, the alcohol hits them and the only thing they want to do is dance.

“Nyla !! Come over here ! We’re dancingggg” Nyla lifts her head on the way back from the bathroom, chuckling at the state of her two friends. “I can see that” Lucy’s smile is bright and she appears to be much more carefree than she was this morning. Nyla can’t help but give in to temptation and join them both on the floor, each of them being spun around by the other, drunken and sober giggles flying through the air. This is definitely what was needed, Angela and Nyla included. Angela has been feeling the stress of being detective pretty hard lately, and Nyla has been dwelling constantly on the baby and if either of them will be safe; a night with their girls is just what the doctor ordered.

3 hours later, Nyla calls Tim and asks him to come and pick Lucy up. Already getting in his car, he puts his phone on speaker and tells her he’ll be there soon. “I thought you and Angela needed a ride too.”

“Yeah, we did, but Wesley’s just got out of work and said he’d pick Angela up, and I’m going too because my place is closest to theirs” she peers to her side at Angela, face questioning wether she had sufficiently excelled in the task. Angela bobs her head rapidly, eyes scanning the room to see if Lucy had returned from the bar yet, cautious of getting caught. The thing is, Wesley wasn’t working late tonight, and she had known that from the beginning, but Angela had plans of her own, and that included getting Tim and Lucy to open up about their feelings; she just decided to give them a little nudge.

“Okay, if you’re sure. I’ll be about 5 minutes” “okay cool, bye.” Nyla turned to Angela, a humorous smirk etched upon her lips “you’re a menace” Angela laughs and pushes Nyla’s arm with a playful shove “a super smart menace”.

“Who’s a super smart menace?” Lucy questions, clearly her trip to the bar had been a short lived one. But In Angela and Nyla’s luck, she was much too inebriated to notice the deer in headlights expression that was notched into their faces. “Oh, nothing, just someone in a case we worked on last week” Angela sends a promising smile to Nyla, eyes seeking the appraisal for her lie that her drunk self wanted. Nyla nods towards her with an over exaggerated smile and thumbs up, her demeanour taking that of a Mother who’s child had just gone potty for the first time.

Nyla’s phone buzzes, gaze averting from Angela and Lucy, who are currently wobbling, leaning on each other for support- yeah, it was time to head home. Thankfully, Tim and Wesley had arrived at pretty much the same time, so the women parted ways safely and made their way home.

Tim grabbed into Lucy’s waist and reached his hand out for hers when she stumbled on her own feet. “How much did you have to drink?” Lucy giggled troublesomely, her hiccups giving away that the number of drinks she had was worryingly high. Tim sends her an amused smile, mind feeling slightly more at ease to know that he’s with her whilst she’s like this. “Okay, let’s get you in the truck” he utters it so adoringly that drunk Lucy can’t help but tear up. “Thank you for picking me up Tim, I know the game was on *hiccup* tonight”.

As Tim puts Lucy’s seatbelt over her and clips it into the holder, his mind runs wild with how she knows that the game was on tonight. He didn’t tell her, and she doesn’t follow football, so how could she have possibly known that ? Curiosity usually doesn’t get the best of him, he’s usually one to not care why people say what they say, but this- he must know. “How did you know the game was on tonight?” His voice has heightened in curiosity, hands still rested safely on the seatbelt, but as he looks to Lucy for an answer, he is met with her angelic-like state of sleep. In theory, you’d think that tussled hair, open mouth and slight snoring wouldn’t be that cute, but to Tim, she looked perfect.

Shaking his head of the thoughts a man in a relationship shouldn’t be having, he gently closes Lucy’s side of the truck and hops into the drivers seat, making his way to Lucy’s apartment, his eyes glancing over to her every once in a while to check she’s okay.

As Tim parks outside of Lucy’s building, he softly whispers her name and rubs her arm up and down to wake her. No response. “Lucy” this time, he gets a reaction; she begins to mumble and curls herself up to the window of the truck. It’s clear to Tim that she’s not going to wake up, which leaves only one option- he’s going to have to carry her.

Opening Lucy’s door, he carefully unfastens her seatbelt so he doesn’t wake her in the process, and places an arm underneath her thighs, other arm wrapping around her waist. Tim lifts her with no struggle out of the car, and repositions her over his shoulder so that he has a hand free to open the door to the building and her apartment. The elevator was luckily empty due to the time, and Tim was able to comfortably stand in the middle with Lucy sprawled over his shoulder.

As he unlocks the keys to her door, he begins to notice her stirring in her sleep, alerting him that she’s probably going to wake up sooner rather than later. He closes the door and paces his way slowly over to her colourful sofa, laying her down lightly upon the pillows. He crouches down and watches as her eyes stir, leisurely blinking to adjust to the brightness in the room. “Hmmm” Lucy’s gaze sets upon Tim, her drunken state smiling at him, rather than questioning how she got upstairs.

“Hey sleeping beauty” he teases with a smirk, laughing at the irritated glare she’s directing towards her table lamp. “Guessing you had a good night” Lucy breathes out slowly, moving her body so that she’s sat up facing him. “Can I have please water some ?” Tim raises his eyebrows in amusement; he’s never seen drunk Lucy before, he’s seen her slightly tipsy but this is another level, and he’s not going to deny that it’s the best thing he’s seen all week. “I’ll go and get you some water now”. Tim stands from his position and strides towards Lucy’s cupboards, reaching for a glass and filling it up with some cold water.

“Tim?” He hums in response, eyes still watching the water filling the glass. Lucy is looking over at him, her chin placed comfortably on the back of the sofa, eyes inquisitive. “How do you know if you’re settling for someone ?” Tim freezes to his spot, turning off the tap quickly as the glass overfills due to his surprise. “Erm, I don’t know” he thinks for a second of how to answer her question, but once he realised she probably won’t remember tomorrow, he begins to answer her. “I suppose you’re never really at your full happiness with the person, because there’s a part of you that doesn’t actually want them. I guess you just feel a little empty at times when you’re around them” as Tim unload his thoughts, he realises that he may have just said something that he needed to hear himself, but it’s 1:30 in the morning and he’s not about to delve down that hole.

“Why do you ask?” He walks towards her and hands her the glass of water, their fingers grazing across each other and sending sparks of electric through their bodies.

Lucy looks at Tim with a thoughtful leer, head spinning trying to come up with the words her brain wants her to say. “Mhnnnm, I’m not sure I like him- Chris, I’m not sure if I have proper feelings for *hiccup* him.” Tim opens his mouth in shock, eyes bulged and heart rate increasing with hope; he thought she was happy with Chris, but knowing that that might not be the case, he feels himself feeling lighter for the first time in weeks. “I bet you’re a great boyfriend, Ashley’s veryyyy lucky” Tim smiles in disbelief, worrying he’s imagining this in his head, so he says the only thing that he can think to say “thank you, Chris is very lucky too.”

“What do you think of him ?” Lucy questions, eyes scanning Tim’s face for any tells. “I uh- he’s nice” Lucy chuckles and recalls earlier on that day “Angela said that saying that is usually not a good thing” he’s stuck for words now, because Angela’s right, he didn’t mean “nice” in a good way, what he meant to say was ‘he’s definitely not good enough for you’, but now was not the time nor the place for it. “Yeah, well Angela says a lot of things” he brushes off Lucy’s question and tries to divert her attention elsewhere “drink your water”. As she takes a sip, her eyes become heavy with sleep, her bed calling her loudly. “I’m going to sleep”

Tim catches her as her head lulls to one side glass caught in his other before it can shatter to the floor. “Okay, just drink this and then you can go to sleep”

“Ughhh, Tim, I just wanna sleeeeep” he chuckles once again, debating wether or not he should film this so he can tease her about it at work; the look on her face would be a sight to see, but he decides against it as she begins to cry. “ I just- I just wish love was easier. Like- I wish I just felt at one with Chris, I wish it was easy and I wish I *hiccup* could just be myself- like it is with me and you.” Tim’s eyes glaze over and he can’t help but brush a tear from Lucy’s cheek, the need to envelop her growing stronger by the second. His brain short circuits at the declaration of her words. ‘Like it is with me and you?’ Is she saying she has feelings for him, or is she just stating that it’s easy with him, no romantic implication behind it ? It’s safe to say that she’s caused his mind to race wildly tonight.

“Lucy-“ “I’m tired, can I sleep now?” Tim halts in the middle of his sentence, coming to the conclusion that he probably shouldn’t read too much into anything she’s said, because she’s not in the right state of mind. He peers over to her glass of water, satisfied that she’s drank enough and nods softly, helping her into her room. The question of how to get her into more comfortable clothes becomes intelligible, he can’t get her dressed himself so the only option is to turn around whilst she dresses herself and hope that she doesn’t tumble and injure herself.

As if Lucy had read his thoughts, she tilts her head up at Tim and states that she’s too tired to get changed, and is just going to sleep in the clothes she already has on. Tim nods and follows her to the bed, laying her down gently and putting her in the recovery position. His head may be swirling, but nothing could ever stop him from making sure she’s safe. As she gets comfortable, he brings the remaining water and some Advil and tells her to take two so that her hangover isn’t too bad in the morning. Lucy’s heart warms at the sight of him taking care of her; this is what it’s supposed to feel like, she thinks to herself. She swallows the Advil down and puts herself back into the position that Tim had previously put her in.

With a tired yawn and sniffle, she cracks an eye open to gain Tim’s attention and sends him an adoring smile. “Thank you again, for bringing me home, and for taking care of me”

“No problem Lucy, I’m here whenever you need me” the sincerity in his voice sets a calm over the room, and Lucy nuzzles her head into her pillow, nose scrunching when the material tickles her. “I’ll see you at work” he places a friendly hand upon her shoulder, but as he looks at her, cuddled up in bed, hair falling into the pillows, he can’t help but to brush a strand behind her ear. He turns towards the door and tiptoes gently so he doesn’t wake her up; then he remembers ‘I know the game was on tonight’- he never did find out how she knew, so he took a chance, whispering out the question once again, expecting no response from the half asleep woman in bed. “How did you know the game was on tonight ?” When he gets no reply after 5 seconds, he continues to walk out of the room, preparing himself to take his trip back home. But then it comes.

“Because…it’s you”

[andreal831]

I got a lot of edits on my fyp prior to watching any TVDU show so I knew a solid amount of the plot lines prior to watching either show, which also means I knew what characters were normalized to be hated/loved. I started these shows and expected to absolutely despise Matt, Elena, Tyler, and Cami. None of them are my favorite, but I never understood the hate for any of them whatsoever.

The Matt hate just makes no sense, I’m convinced people just want to “fit in” and hate the person that everyone else hates. You pretty much explained everything I would say for him so I’ll hold back a bit here. And yeah, I’m tired of people pretending he’s not attractive cause there is not a single actor on this show that doesn’t look good.

Everyone calls Elena a crybaby, but if they had lost the amount of people that she had before they’re even 20 years old, I guarantee you they’d be crying even more than she did. And calling her selfish? She very rarely ever put herself over anyone. There’s also the argument that she ‘played Stefan’ which in my opinion is just straight out wrong, it’s not like she was pretending to be in love with him while she was with him, but if you hate her for that, you’d have to hate like half the show. I swear everyone dated everyone within that friend group, why do people only hate on her for it? Also this has nothing to do with my point, but why does everyone hate on her NH era? I liked it, it gave her character something different.

Everyone hates on Tyler for one of two reasons. One being that he tried to SA Vicki in season 1, which you would think is a valid excuse, but then they go onto say Klaus, Damon, and/or Katherine is their favorite character (and I’m saying this as my Damon and Klaus are both in my top 5 TVDU characters). The second reason would be something along the lines of Tyler wanting to get revenge on Klaus. I do think he went too far with trying to kill Hayley/hope, but aside from that, he had every right to get revenge on Klaus. He killed his mom and practically ruined his life, including messing with his relationship with Caroline. I actually love Forewood, but I don’t think they could’ve been endgame after that. So I don’t get why people hate on him for leaving Caroline, because I feel like continuing to lead her on when his head is nowhere near the right space would’ve been worse.

Then there’s cami, which is honestly the most confusing one out of all to me. I completely understand her not being your favorite, especially if you’re into more of the anti heroes or villains (like me), but I do not understand why people just absolutely despise her. She plays a major part in the originals, especially early on, as she is the only person Klaus seems to care about listening to whatsoever. He isn’t paying Hayley any sort of attention, and he lied to/betrayed Elijah left and right in season 1. She’s also never betrayed anyone that she considers to be friends or family. The biggest reason she’s hated on is because she ‘stole Klaus from Caroline.” 1. I genuinely just do not get what people see in klaroline. I don’t absolutely despise them, but I do not like them either. Klaus hurt her multiple times (which, by the way, why do people act like Klaus is a hero for saving Caroline from a bite he caused…?) and Caroline was manipulating him every chance she got. I totally understand the whole ‘enemies to lovers’ trope, considering I like delena, but I just do not get it here. 2. How did anyone see that Klaus (and the originals) was getting his own show, and still expect klaroline to work out? 95% of interactions they had post TO being made was complete fan service. It would’ve been WAY too difficult to do a long distance thing with two different shows, especially when neither of them were (im so gonna get hated for this) never in love with each other, they weren’t even in a relationship. Oh and back to the forewood thing real quick, Tyler had every right to be pissed at Caroline for sleeping with Klaus.

Well that turned into a klaroline bashing towards the end. For the record my top 5 characters are Damon, Elijah, kol, hayley, and Klaus in that order and there really aren’t any ships (canonical ships anyway) that I absolutely hate so.

Side note, thank you for being able to hold characters accountable. I like characters as villains/anti heroes because they are a villain/anti hero, I will never understand why people try to defend their favorite character and make them seem like a hero. Like the character for their character, don’t make them into something completely different. If you wanna debate anything further (or something entirely different) let me know, I enjoy debating about shows, I just typically can’t find anyone in this fandom (or any fandom for that matter) that is able to have an actual debate without someone starting to scream over an opinion lmao.

There really isn’t a question here I just kinda felt like ranting after reading your post about Matt Donovan so here it is. Reply to this as you please!

I was fortunate enough to watch the shows before I got into the fandom so I didn't get spoilers (at least for TVD), but more importantly, I didn't have anyone to influence me on which characters to like or not. Which was why I was so surprised when I joined the fandom and saw so much hatred. But I do think some people just "bandwagon" hate characters. Especially Matt. Because anytime I ask people why, they can't even truly express why they *hate* him.

Elena was never my favorite character but I loved early seasons of Elena. I even enjoyed her NH era. I didn't like her sire bond era much. But she definitely gets too much hate. Even at times when I think she can be selfish, she's still miles better than the men the fandom loves.

I've actually posted about Tyler before, you can find that here. Sure, he's done questionable/problematic things, but who hasn't? The hate he gets is ridiculous, especially because it always comes from Damon or Klaus stans. I actually like Caroline and adored Forewood, but I hated how she handled the breakdown of their relationship. I blame the writers. They continuously tanked Caroline's character in order to get views with klaroline.

I love Cami and she is the one character that I truly believe has done no wrong. Cami was truly a turning point for Klaus. Cami was not only an important person for Klaus but for the entire Mikaelson family and the entirety of New Orleans. I also wrote about that recently. But yes, 100% of the hate she gets is because of Klaroline stans. I used to be indifferent to Klaroline. Like I don't like them because they are toxic and I would never ship them, and there are plenty of ships I feel this way about, but the fandom has made me actively dislike them. Klaroline had no possible way of working out and was just lust, but people build them up in their head and then attacked and harassed a real life person because of their delusions.

I'm glad you found my post and enjoyed it! I love finding people that want to engage and have actual discussions about the fandom. Too many people get so set in their views and can't discuss the characters without getting angry. I completely agree. We can all love the characters but 99% of the characters in this show are problematic to say the least. We can love them and still acknowledge this. I love to analyze the morality of the show because it is interesting as we can't use are real life standards to do so. I obviously love over analyzing everything about the show as I spend so much time doing so.

Feel free to ask anything or reach out!

[steddieas-shegoes]

Firstly, when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers 💚💜

Damn Sandy’s trying to soft dom me into self love (joking and affectionate ❤️)

This is very very difficult for me to do, but they say fake it til you make it.

1. I’m a better mom than I had. I’m saying this with love for my own mom, and a deep understanding that she was in a position I hope I am never in, but also knowing that I did not have the childhood I deserved because of it. I work hard every day to make sure Liam gets attention and love and never questions that I’m proud of him and that sometimes you can take days to just be tired and that’s okay.

2. I’m not content. Let me explain this better because I feel like that’s a very negative sounding thing. I don’t like where I’m at and I’m working to change it. It’s really fucking hard and, especially lately, I feel closer to a breakdown than not, but I am constantly seeing the bigger picture and where I want to be and pushing through. I have never let myself settle even though it would be easy to and I’m going to keep going until I am content.

3. My strength. I may be 5’2 but let me tell you about being the muscle of my family 😂 An example: we had these railroad ties that separated our property and the neighbor’s that have been there for at least 30 years. They were rotted in some places, but in others, they were basically part of the earth. My dad managed to get up quite a bit on his own, but there was a solid 8 foot stretch that would not budge. I loosened it a little with the shovel, and then literally pulled them up with my bare hands. Like that Captain America scene where he rips the log in half? That but not as sexy because I broke a nail. I’ve got that going for me I guess 😂

4. My eyes. It’s the first and best compliment I get every time (I say as if I know how to take a compliment). They’re very blue, and if I happen to be wearing makeup (rare) they’re even MORE blue.

5. I’m funny as hell sometimes. Not all the time, but damn I crack myself up 😂 With that, I am the comedic relief in any and all situations. I am absolutely going to calm down a situation with humor any time I can. I like that I can almost always make people smile and laugh during times they may not feel like doing so.

This really took me all afternoon to do 🙃

[blackink-onpaper]

The Descend and the Resurface

Damian Hart (Beyblade) x OC

Summary: OC comes from a complex background, and in the midst of trying to save it all and help her family she enters a strange arrangement, which will change her life forever.

Masterlist 🖤

Tags: Beyblade, Beyblade Metal Masters, Ryuga, Jack, Damian, Zeo Abyss, OC, Gingka Hagane, team Starbreaker, team Gan Gan Galaxy, dr. Ziggurat, Hades Inc.

A/N: (ambience suggestion) this chapter and the next will go along with the canon storyline, for this chapter watch Beyblade Metal Masters episode 93 if you like, it’s available on youtube! Also, at one moment I mention Damian’s worried expression, which you can see on the last photo :) Enjoyy~

Chapter 16

I tried getting backstage a few more times, but the crowd kept being too difficult to get past from. ‘Well, time to find something to do for half an hour’ I thought to myself, as I pulled out my phone for a scrolling session. I had social media, but really hated it ever since Julian and I had started dating because of all the nosy, toxic people trying to get into my life just because of him. If I was qualified to write a book about anything, it’s definitely on what it’s like being an “uninportant” girlfriend of an important man. And it seems I did it again, ironically, but at least no one knows for now. Checking if I had any messages, I saw an ad for a summer dress in the same blue colour as Damian’s hair, with white stripes on the hems, and I gasped in excitement. I immediately checked the availability and ordered the dress, so that I would have it for a celebration with Damian once all of this was over. Reflecting on my previous relationship again, I realised I did everything completely different this time around and how liberated I actually felt: to be able to say things I should’ve kept hidden, to have sex before having a date first because there is no one who would gossip and make a story out of it, and of course, my biggest cliché of all: to fall in love with a ‘bad boy’.

After ordering the dress, which would probably make Julian throw up if he ever saw it, I remembered I had some polaroid photos in my phone case I had completely forgotten about. My phone case opened with a loud crack sound, showing me a few memories from my past: there was a picture Sophie took of me when we were all invited to Julian’s summer house at lake Como, and one more from the same day of me and Julian together. Everyone told us we were an amazing couple, and I agree we certainly looked the part, but looking back on myself then I was feeling nowhere near complete. I wondered what people would think of Damian and I, would they love us as much as they did the Konzern-Casilarghi combination? The last picture was that of my garden, with my mom and I eating cherries in the sun; I took a picture of it and sent it to my mom with a text that I’m at the championship. She replied back almost immediately:

“My darling ❤️🍒 Enjoy the match, any luck with Julian?”

I was struck by a wave of mixed feelings; I felt as if I was lying to her by not telling her I completely let Julian go and had fallen for someone new, especially because I am not sure what they would think of Damian, and Damian of them. However, I’m sure my parents would easily get over any hard feelings if they considered Damian rich enough, which is comforting in it’s own way I guess.

The match began again. Just as the presenters announced the Gingka vs Jack battle, a literal meteor fell from the sky right into the stadium. For a brief moment I thought this was the end of the world, as the fire swept over everything, and loud thuds and cracks echoed from the walls carrying the whole construction. Opening my eyes, I saw most people had the same idea, because some even hid under the seats or shielded themselves with their bags, but we were all unharmed. However, there was a distinctively recognisable figure standing in the stadium.

The Japanese presenter stuttered: “It-it’s Ryuga, everyone!”

I’ve only ever heard of this guy, but he looked the same as in the pictures I had seen some time ago: platinum hair, tanned skin, angry eyes. But from what I’d heard, he is the strongest and most fearsome Blader out there. Seeing as he was standing on the side of Gan Gan Galaxy, it occurred to me that Gingka might have lied about not having a third member, but I then realised how bewildered the three members of the team looked and discarted the theory entirely. However, Ryuga’s choice of standing position might mean trouble for Jack.

“You do remember what you said to me, don’t you?” Ryuga asked Jack

“No, what?” Jack blurted out bluntly, without his usual pompousness

Apparently, Jack had told Ryuga at some earlier point that he would paint him a picture of Hades, and Ryuga came to collect his comission. But it seemed Ryuga also had an agenda against Ziggurat, as he looked up at him several times. I darted a look at Damian; while Jack accepted his challenge, seeming enviably and surprisingly confident, Damian seemed quite worried - I would dare say perhaps even scared as he stood a few steps behind Jack. But his facial expression was hard to read, so maybe he was just being more serious than I’m used to.

As the battle began, I had to admit I was also becoming worried both about the match and Jack’s wellbeing. I mean, Ryuga is really not the kind of guy one would like to mess with, especially because I know Damian would not break the tournament rules for Jack like Sophie and Wales did for Julian - and rightfully so, because if Jack loses Damian can still win the final battle, whereas for Excalibur the tournament had already been decided before the intervention.

The start of the battle must’ve been one of the most explosive ones I’d ever seen. No time was wasted by Jack and Befall, who just kept hitting Ryuga’s Bey without a break, and Jack was evidently enjoying himself. After a couple of more attacks, Jack slowly descended into an insane laughter:

“Sorry, Mr. Ryuga” he began, after he calmed down from that weird laughing spell: “Earlier I said I’d make this match into an amazing work of art, but allow me to correct myself. This will be my greatest masterpiece! Yes, and the completion of my work of art will mean your total and definite defeat!” Jack proclaimed loud and clear as his hair started to levitate, and a glow in different shades of gorgeous pink colours surrounded him like an aura. I mean, I have to be honest and say I was not nearly as confident about this as Jack, but I was absolutely blown away by his bravery. Many experienced Bladers would not even have half the personality Jack held up against Ryuga.

But I need to be equally honest that Ryuga’s demeanour was nothing short of imposing: Jack slashed him with his special move, appropriately called The Ripper, and he didn’t even bother to move. I darted a look at Damian, who had a curious look in his eyes and a small grin to support Jack’s attack. Curious with a reason, as Ryuga’s L-Drago was spinning as if nothing had happened:

“You really are stimulating the right side of my brain now! How stimulating is this!” Jack announced yet another special move - Slice and Dice - as Befall began to literally carve out the stadium to his will and whim. I pulled myself closer to see better, but ended up almost slipping of my seat because I hadn’t noticed how close I already was to it’s edge. After checking left and right if anyone had seen me, I continued watching to see what image Jack was aiming to create:

“One more stroke, and my greatest masterpiece will be complete!” Jack waved his finger around as L-Drago was being dragged around by a lethally slicing Befall: this was looking good for Starbreaker, but something just didn’t sit right with me about this. As the camera display on the televisions across the stadium panned out, an elegant body of a peacock emerged from the flat stone of the dome stadium.

“So Jack is drawing an image of his muse: Befall” I chuckled to myself, he was really something else entirely. Befall struck L-Drago right into the eye of the illustrated bird, and his spinning was slowing down almost to a stop:

“L-Drago is almost out of power now!” The presenters gripped the handrails of their positions, while Gan Gan Galaxy looked pale as three sheets of paper from the stress. At least this seems to be an imminent win for Starbreaker; I guess I was just overthinking Ryuga’s strength, his mysterious reputation probably playing up his fame.

But then he made me question both my vision and my sanity by increasing his rotation with simplicity and out of nowhere. Gasps arose from the audience around me:

“But how?” Jack blurted out, more confused than shocked or outraged, to which Ryuga measured up to with:

“You call this your greatest masterpiece, do you? Heh, are you sure you’re all done?”

“No way” Jack gasped in a half pleading tone: “Don’t tell me… Don’t tell me the entire battle up to now has just been to measure my power?!”

Then, Ryuga called his special move, the name of which I did not catch because of the gust of fire, heat and wind that swirled over the stadium in a burning red glow. Very reminiscent of Damian’s Hades Drive, but inexplicably multiplied. A long red dragon, stretching out at least two kilometres into the air appeared, and even though Jack put up one last brave stance against him by sending Befall into a defending flight, it was completely clear it’s an immediate defeat.

An explosion shook the entire stadium, making a crack in the floor from underneath my feet as people’s hats, pamphlets and random small items just flew away over their heads. Jack’s loud, piercing scream was the only thing I heard over the explosion itself. Befall was now the pink ruby centerpiece imbedded within the eye of the peacock that stood for a minute until the entire dome collapsed, the image now forever lost and forgotten. Jack whimpered about his work of art, hugging himself as if to calm himself down as he fell to his knees. Ryuga stared at Ziggurat’s room overlooking the stadium, and L-Drago launched into a flight, breaking his window.

“Woah…what the…” I uttered to myself, there was something seriously foul in the history between Ziggurat and Ryuga if he acted this way. As Ryuga was walking away, some paramedic that are unmistakeably from Hades Inc., given their dark grey lab coats, helped Jack up to his feet again and into the backstage, while Damian was nowhere in sight. I got up immediately, and grabbed my bag and water bottle to run to the backstage door, before noticing all of the water from my bottle had evapourated from L-Drago’s fire.

“Unbelievable…” I gasped before making my way past the security guards and into the Starbreaker wing.

[phawareglobal]

Dawn Clarke - phaware® interview 455

Pulmonary hypertension patient, Dawn Clarke, a resident of the Mississaugas of the Credit First Nation in Southern Ontario. Despite her rare disease diagnosis, Dawn decided to focus on her mental health and explore her creative passions. She emphasizes the importance of looking after all aspects of one's well-being, including physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. She encourages others to find their purpose and make positive changes in their lives, even in the face of challenges. 

My name is Dawn Clarke. I am currently residing on the Mississaugas of the Credit First Nation, Hagersville, Southern Ontario. This is my mother's homestead, where she's come from. She's indigenous. My father is from Cape Breton, Nova Scotia. He is non-indigenous or what we used to call him, Caucasian. I grew up in the military life, my father was in the military. My mom was quite young when she had me and got with my dad and started moving around to different places. Life at the beginning was a little complicated for me. Both parents were strict and that's how my upbringing was with all the things that go along with that. So I became a really quiet person. I should start off too by saying that I did a have congenital heart defects and heart surgery at four months of age. Incidentally, my parents were not at the surgery, so they were about two hours away when I did my surgery. They were back home.

They didn't have a vehicle, so I had no parent there at hospital during my open heart surgery. I did find out about that years later. I believe that there's a lot of childhood traumas that help lead up to the health of where people are now into adulthood. That was something that I had to deal with. So I did get surgery at infancy. I had intended on joining the military. I had actually passed all my testing. I did really well. The only thing I was waiting for was a phone call to say, "Okay, it's basic training time, let's go." For some reason, that call never came. 

I ended up going to school from nursing. When my children were one and a half and three and a half, I ended up going into nursing school. It was quite difficult to say the least as a single mom, single parent, and going through nursing school. Somehow we made it through though. With the help of family and relatives, we did get through that. But after a number of years, I had been really kind of wondering about doing mental health work. I did dabble in some training here and there with the mental health field, but it was kind of something that my brain was always wanting to lean towards. 

A few years ago, I started developing shortness of breath. I was down in weight compared to where I had been for a lot of my adult life, probably about 180 pounds, which is still overweight for a short person. I started getting symptoms when I was working as a nurse. Weight started coming on again. I thought, "Oh, must not be as active as I was before." I was getting a high blood pressure readings, and that had never been an issue before. So even with my cardiac history, I had still been fairly healthy. 

I had been trained to do palliative care nursing, so I was seeing a lot of palliative care patients. I got to the point where my troubles with my breathing became more of an issue, especially to the clients than they were… me coming in, trying to get up the stairs to see them, sitting down and taking a couple of minutes to catch my breath, at a point where I was starting to bring my oxygen in with me to do the stairs or to get from point A to point B to their rooms or anywhere to see them.

By this point, I had gotten quite bad. I finally decided I just can't do this anymore. I'm going into houses that are difficult to maneuver around, also into smoky houses that I always despise smoke, cigarette smoke, and having to take care of myself in front of patients before I could care for them. It was just getting to be way too much. The physical maneuvering of patients became very difficult and I just couldn't keep up anymore.

On top of these things. I also have scoliosis, and it's something that I was diagnosed with when I was 12. So between my back and the pain, between the weight gain and the shortness of breath, it just became very difficult to move people, to turn people to do any things that they needed to get down on the floor to do leg and feet dressings, if they happen to be sitting on a couch, for example.

Yeah, it just became too much. I tried to push further, but I just couldn't. Mentally, I was starting to deteriorate as well. I knew there was something wrong by this point, and I hadn't quite got the diagnosis yet of PH, but it did soon come after pushing and trying to get in to see a doctor.

I think I was diagnosed in June of 2019. I went off work July of 2019. Probably for the next year I was wearing oxygen pretty much 24/7. Sitting in a chair, so where I am now, just maneuvering myself around became quite difficult and caused me a lot of shortness of breath. It was to the point where, "All right, I don't think I can do this anymore." So I had to give that up, give that role up. I did not give up my nursing license, I still have it, but I am now on... What's the term? Non-practicing. So I'm a non-practicing registered nurse. 

I decided to hold onto that because it was a big part of me. It's a big part of my life. It was a great accomplishment for me to get through schooling and having two little ones at home as a single mom. It was something that was really hard to register in my brain that you can't do what you've been doing, but I'm hanging on to this because I knew still at that point, even though everything kind of took a dive down, including my mood and everything else, my look on life, my outlook and the uncertainty, it took a huge chunk out of my wellbeing.

I decided at some point, probably within that first year, "Well, okay, what can I do? I know that I have been thinking about changing careers. I've been thinking about giving up at least the physical part of nursing." There was something still calling me to the mental health world. Well, I started acrylic painting and I sang. I had sang for many years and I liked writing, and that's most of my life, as well. Not that I did a lot of it, but I did like it. And one of my goals since I was a teenager was to write a book, which I still haven't done, but I've started a couple of things.

I've written a few little things, poems. I have a long poem. Those kinds of things all mean a lot to me as who I am as a person. I decided at some point along the way, I'm going to somehow combine the creative things with the mental health and the background of nursing and help other people on their journeys and their wellbeing, as well. 

That became my focus. Not to say that every day is easy or that I can focus on these things every single day. There are still difficulties. I managed to change my viewpoint and my outlook on life and my perception of life, and I managed to change those things to a positive light and decided you can still live. You don't have to lay back and wait to die because what is the purpose of everything that I've done and everything I've wanted to be?

I always, always felt like I had a deeper purpose in life. Some people are good getting their purpose fulfilled through looking after their family or through working in a community, and that's enough. But there's something more that I'm meant to give. I'm still not 100% sure what it is, but I think I'm finally going down the path now. I decided to paint. There was a year, I think between 2019 and 2020 that I really didn't do much of anything, but I think that was my angry year. That was my diagnosis year. It was my spot that made me take a look at my life and decided to change my path. I could lay back and die. Life's over for me, boohoo. I know that's a lot of us. That's where we are. That's where we have been or we're getting to that point. But there is a point where you can take control of what you can. 

I had to look at my blessings. So I had to look at, I have my sons. At that time they were both home with me. I have one still home now. I have my mom, my dad, my sister. Even though I still had a lot of traumas to deal with, which I was currently working through and still am, those people were still close to me and important to me. I was now around my mom's family, side of the family. They were a huge support.

I felt like I couldn't quite leave this area and move away, because I thought about moving down east many times, but I had to use what I could. Also because of being from First Nation's community, I thought there's so much I can do. So I'm going to combine all the things I know and put them into a wellness journey for other people. I'm still not 100% sure what that's going to look like, but I have done many paint parties, you might call them. A lot of them are workshops. I get hired by organizations mostly for say, a personal paint party. Probably 95% of what I have done has been organizational workshops. I'll get people thinking about positive things, so what do they want for themselves that day or that week or month, or what would they like to wish for somebody else?

It could be someone they don't necessarily like so much. What do you wish for that person or yourself? Think of one word or a symbol. It could be a heart. It could be anything and you put that down on the backside of your canvas. You write happiness or love, unconditional love. Anything that you can think of or a heart or a star or anything and that's going to be your focus during that painting. The painting session, you go forward with that thought in your mind. We really try to keep negative thinking out of it because it's very, very easy for all of us to think negatively and go, "Oh, I'm terrible at this," and oh my goodness, there's always negative that we can throw to ourselves. We really try to take that out of the equation and just keep everything to a positive as much as we can. 

I would say that normally it does work and it helps most people to stay in a more positive mindset. Thinking positively, looking after my mental health that's been a huge, huge component of my wellbeing. Continuing to be in therapy because therapy can be for everyone, not just seriously ill people. It keeps us on track. That has helped me by looking after the mental health piece, my emotional piece, my spiritual piece, and my physical. We know that physical and mental health and emotional, spiritual all go together. We can't look after one and not the rest. We can't expect to do well in one and expect everything else to catch up. We've got to purposely look after all of those domains. I find by doing that and keeping myself in check with my mental health as well, even my spiritual health. By spiritual health, I mean even things like connecting to nature. Learning how to connect with nature. Learning how to breathe. Learning how to be calm and maybe put yourself in a better place. 

That becomes really easy to do once you've done it a bunch of times. You may need to focus and push yourself to do it at first, but eventually it's just an amazing place to be. So with meditating, learning how to focus, we can do so much for ourselves. People need to start looking at that, giving themselves that gift because it's there. It is in all of us to do. So by looking at all those domains and looking after each one, we do better for our physical health, as well. My physical being has improved. My breathing has improved. My energy level has improved. My focus is starting to improve a little more, because that's been very difficult to do.

But all in all, if you look after all of those things in your life, you become a better version of yourself. You start to see the world in a positive light again, and not think so much about how much life I have left. I still do think of that sometimes or, "When am I going to die," or, "What's the purpose? If I'm going to be gone in a year or 10 years or five years?" The purpose is because you need to be here now. You need to be here. You're on this earth. You have purpose. You can take from everything that happens to you in your life and pull it in and switch it around, bam, put it out as something that you can do for yourself and for other people. That was my choice. It's not to say that I don't ever struggle with my mood or with triggers or anything that comes up in my life, but I need to know how to come out of that.

With everything I've learned through somatic therapy, through there's a thing called FIT. It's focused intention technique. I learned how to do that, as well. There is training for that. It's something you can use on yourself, and it's something you can use to help other people. Give yourself the gift, I'll use that word again, the gift of life. You get to go forward in the way you want to, in the way that you can. Just do it in whatever way you're able to. If you look after all the pieces of yourself, it gets easier. I guess that would be the biggest thing is transforming my life to meet the needs of not just myself, but others as well. But there came a time where I had to look after just myself, and that was fine. I decided that's okay. This is what I need to do. 

My last job was helping to kill me. It was helping to dive me down lower in depth, because I wasn't able to focus on myself and my needs. That really woke me up. It made me go, "Yep, I guess I have to listen to myself now and listen to my body. It's telling me things and do something about it. Don't just keep pushing it back. Do something about it." I ended up having to move from where I was. My rent was going up a little higher every year. I could no longer afford to live there, because I wasn't working, at least not getting a nursing income. So my sons and I had to move. Thank goodness for our First Nation. They had been building a new set of townhouses and one had just been completed. We were lucky enough to get to move into that right at the time I was running out of money from whatever resources I could get it from.

We moved in here. The rent is significantly lower. I know not everybody has that opportunity, but it enabled me to start looking at what I wanted in life instead of worrying about the financial piece. So even if it's a matter of you have to move in with someone or a relative or something where you might not have as much, you might have to give up some things, which I did, but at least it got me thinking about my life again and having a purpose. So that's where I am now. 

My name is Dawn Clarke, and I'm aware that I'm rare.

Learn more about pulmonary hypertension trials at www.phaware.global/clinicaltrials. Follow us on social @phaware Engage for a cure: www.phaware.global/donate #phaware Share your story: info@phaware.com @phacanada 

Listen and View more on the official phaware™ podcast site

[leocancertaurus]

A Debt to Pay Pt. 2

cw: none (but maybe divorce, adoption, overeating if those are sensitive subjects for you!)

wc: ~4.7k

a/n: helloooo, this is LONG overdue. I’ve just been so busy with work and life and everything that i haven’t had much in me to write. but, i’m excited about writing again so that’s fun. as always, i would love to hear everyone’s thoughts!

____________________________________________________________________

The mini succulent that you strategically placed on the shelf above your desk was the final puzzle piece to completing your new bedroom. Getting settled after a move to an entirely new continent had proved to be quite difficult, naturally. You’d strung posters of your favorite artists and movies across every wall, along with pictures of you with your closest friends, pictures of you and your mom, as well as a number of your favorite of your own paintings from over the years. Your bedroom was slowly but surely starting to feel like home. Pouring your time and effort into this was an amazing distraction from what was soon to come. 

“Hey love, I just got off the phone with your new counselor and I printed these things for you. It’s your course schedule and other information just to help get you oriented tomorrow,” your mom, Hazel, yanks what you’d avoiding back to the forefront of your brain.

“Thanks Mom,” you stretch a tightlipped smile.

“Someone’s enthusiastic!” She sits on your bed and motions for you to join her. “Nervous, are we?”

You join her and lay your head on her shoulder, “Yes,” you pause, staring at the floor before you, “What if everyone hates me?” you mutter.

“I don’t think everyone is that stupid, love,” she gently caresses your back.

“I’m being serious!”

“So am I! Hey, you’re going to be great.”

“But, it’s half way through the year. Everyone has their friends already. I’ll just be the weird new kid.”

“Now, you have a point with that weird part. But-”

“Mom!” You deadpan eliciting a hearty laugh from her. 

“I’m joking! How could everyone not want to be your friend? You are so kind, and funny, and compassionate,” she lifts your chin to meet her gaze. “I know how lucky I am to have you and anyone else that doesn’t feel that way is simply an idiot.” 

“You’re my mom. You’re legally obligated to say that.”

“Yes, but I also mean it!”

“Seriously, I don’t really know what to expect and there’s just going to be so much for me to have to jump into and I’m… scared.”

“And that’s okay. I just want you to try it scared, okay? You are the most adaptable kid I’ve ever met.” You traced the lines of her tattoos on her arm while you leaned into her, seeking comfort. “ You’ll be fine,” she kisses the top of your head and wraps you in a hug. 

“But, you don’t know that,” you fling yourself back on your bed, emitting a resounding sigh.

“You’re such a drama queen.”

“I learned from the best of the best.”

“Ha. Ha. Look, I know this is a big move and an even bigger change with starting at a new school but we can do anything as long as we do it together, right?”

You lamely nod. You were extremely excited to be in New York. There was no denying that. Still, it was bittersweet to be here. It was tough to leave all you’ve ever known behind. Your school, your friends, and especially your childhood home. Your earliest memories happened within those 4 walls. Both the good and the bad. 

You were adopted by a couple of newlyweds from London when you were five. Oliver and Hazel Mitchell were excited to begin the next chapter in their lives following their marriage, by starting a family and thus, adopting you.

Oliver was a very closed off businessman that spent most of his time in his office or on business trips.  He never really paid much attention to your interests. He rarely played with you as a child.  He never came to a performance or a game. He was this shadow that paid the bills and gave excuses. After a number of desperate attempts to win his attention, you decided to stop trying, hoping to convince yourself that you were better off without him. 

Your mother, on the other hand, was the closest embodiment of God herself. From the day that you met her, you’d realized that she was destined to be your mom. Whatever fantasy you wanted to play out she’d made sure that you were well equipped to live it. She would play the dragon that’d save you, the princess. She’d be the food critic at your playdoh restaurant. You’d be the knight, and she’d be your trusty unicorn. She made your childhood magical. Always a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. She was your very best friend. No one else came close. 

As you got older, you’d noticed the bags under Hazel’s eyes grow bigger and darker. Your parents barely looked at each other near the end of their marriage. Now that you were old enough to understand, it didn’t make sense how and why they ever got together in the first place. They weren’t affectionate with one another, they barely conversed, and their paths barely crossed. 

Hazel outshined Oliver. She was kind, compassionate, a devoted parent, and she had a successful career as a visual artist. She did it all so effortlessly. She deserved this fresh start just as much as you did, if not more, after everything she’s endured.

 ___________________________________________________________________

Monday approaches quicker than you had hoped. The shrill of the school bell forces you to realize that this is actually happening. Your heart was fighting to jump through your throat. You wipe your damp palms on your jeans while rushing into your homeroom with your head down. You fling yourself into a chair at the way back of the room. Everyone’s eyes are on you, whether they’re blatantly staring or sneaking glances. Chatter from your classmates bounces off of the walls, hering your ability to think straight. You await the start of class, tapping your fingers on the desk anxiously, hoping and praying that the ground would open up and swallow you whole. Instead, the second bell rings signaling the start of class. 

Your homeroom teacher, Ms. Carter, a tall, terrifyingly serious blonde woman, cuts through the noise, “Ok class, take out your note packets that we started yesterday. We’ll continue with our discussion of the Louisiana Purchase.” The entire class groans in unison at their looming fate. You inhale for a sigh of relief, thanking whichever god for allowing you to go unacknowledged. Of course you would never be so lucky. “But,” Ms. Carter speaks at the apex of your deep breath. Your stomach drops. She continues, “Before we get started I want to introduce our new student to everyone.” Almost in unison, everyone turns their bodies toward you. “This is Y/n Mitchell. She just moved here from London and I want all of you to make sure she feels welcomed here at Midtown High okay? Y/n would you like to share a few things about yourself with the rest of us?”

No. I would hate nothing more than that actually. Yet, your mouth moves faster than your brain does, “Uh sure.. Anything specific?”

“Maybe your classmates can ask you a couple of questions about yourself. Class?” Oh. Looks like you and Ms. Carter won’t be getting along. 

“What’s your biggest pet peeve?” Some kid asks from across the room. 

“Dad jokes, by far.” You hear a couple of snickers from around the room. 

“What’s your least favorite fashion trend?” A girl who must’ve thrown up bubble gum pink all over herself this morning asks.

“Easy. Low rise jeans.” The girl vehemently nods her head in agreement.

A number of your other new classmates continue to throw questions around, both completely ridiculous and genuine. “Okay just a few more class,” Ms. Carter attempts to reign it all in.

“Would you rather go to space or the bottom of the ocean,” yet another person jumps in. 

“Do you know what lives at the bottom of the ocean?” you retort.

“No,” they shake their head. 

“Exactly. So, I’m going to space,” you conclude, in turn making your new classmates laugh.

“Great answer. Ok, what do we think, class? Has Y/n had enough,” Ms. Carter finally puts you out of your misery. There’s a quiet buzz about the room due to the excitement,  “Thank you, Y/n. Welcome!” She nods at you giving you a warm smile. 

You release the sigh you didn’t realize you were holding as you take your seat again. That wasn’t so bad! They laughed with you. Not at you! Way to go self! Keep it up and maybe you'll make it! But, let’s not jinx it. 

Staying awake for the rest of the lecture wasn't necessarily the easiest feat but you succeeded. The bell rings at the end of class and you race out to begin the search for your next one. It’s unclear whether or not it was your eyes panning from side to side, looking for a specific room number or this person just being an absolute idiot but, you collide with a silly looking dark haired boy. His iced coffee splashes all down the front of your sweatshirt, your books go flying out of your hands, and your first day is effectively ruined. Just. like. that. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” you seeth.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. I was distracted. Um,” the dweeb in front of you delves into his backpack, hastily pulling out two flimsy crinkled napkins. “Here you go,” he presents them to you with a triumphant smile on his face. It drops as soon as he sees the rage in your eyes. 

“And what exactly do you see me doing with those?” your voice is low.

“Oh wow, you’re scary. Uh, are you new here?”

You huff at the boy as you turn to barrel into the nearest bathroom. You can’t help but gasp at your reflection. There was coffee all down your favorite white hoodie and it splashed down onto your light washed, ripped jeans. You lean over the sink as tears pool in your eyes. You barely slept the night before as your mind reeled of all the things that could’ve gone wrong on your first day. This wasn’t one of them. You were not equipped to deal with this right now. 

There’s no saving the hoodie, so your only option is to take it off. You try to make yourself look as presentable as possible again by strategically wrapping your hoodie around your waist, to cover the stains on your pants before racing to your next class. 

You scurry into the room once you find it. Without paying much attention you find the first open seat. You’re hauled back to the present moment when you hear, “Hey. Are you okay? I’m really sorry again,” the doofus from the hallway whispers across the aisle.

“Not really,” you mumble.

“I feel absolutely terrible. I really liked your outfit if it means anything,” he says with an attempt at a reassuring smile. You glare at him.

“Um..not  in a creepy way or anything. It’s just that I saw you earlier and wanted to introduce myself and tell you that I liked your style… It’s very chill. I just thought I’d tell you now and I-” he reads your expression loud and clear and immediately shuts his mouth. “I’m sorry.” He remains quiet for not long enough before he introduces himself, “I’m Peter, by the way.” 

“I don’t care.” 

“Fair enough”, he turns back to face the front of the room. He’s antsy in his seat. Peter turns his head again, “I didn’t catch your name.”

“I didn’t throw it.” Class starts as Peter opens his mouth to speak again. You notice that he sneaks you a couple of glances during the period. You respond to a couple of them with harsh glares.  Eventually, he stops and slouches down into his seat. Hopefully feeling a sliver of what he’s inflicted on you in the past half hour of knowing him.

_____________________________________________________________________

You reach the end of the day before you know it. Between meeting so many new people, and new coursework, and that idiot Peter. You couldn’t wait to go home, cry, and trap yourself in your room.

As you descend the stairs of your new high school, rushing to make your way home, the devil himself stops you dead in your tracks. 

“Uh hey, Y/n,” Peter steps in front of you, shifting from foot to foot.

You analyze his demeanor, “Are you gonna pee your pants or something?” 

“What? No!” he forces himself to stand still. “Look, I’m so sorry about running into you earlier. I really want to make it up to you.”

“Let’s both just go home and never see each other again, yeah?” you suggest.

“Well we go to the same high school...” his forehead wrinkles.

“Your point?”

“One, we literally have a class together so that’s impossible. And two, I could apologize and maybe I can be your first friend here.”

You pretend to ponder his proposal, “No thank you,” you conclude as you step around him to begin your commute home.

“I just want to properly apologize.”

“It’s fine.”

“It doesn’t seem fine,” Peter calls after you.

“Oh no?” you sarcastically jeer. You leave him where he stands, finally earning some peace and quiet. The short lived silence ends as Peter races to catch up with you. 

“Can I at least buy you a donut?”

“No, thank you.”

“Come on, I feel bad.”

“That sounds like a you problem, Peter.” The two of you walk together in silence down the block as Peter brainstorms how to win you over. “Why exactly are you still here?”

“Because I feel like if I didn’t spill my coffee on you, we could maybe get along. Call it a hunch.”

“I’m not so sure about that.”

“You never know unless you try,” he pleads with big, kind?, brown eyes.

You stop dead in your tracks, “You’re not going to drop this, are you?”

“No.”

“One donut and then you’ll leave me alone. Deal?”

“Deal,” Peter looks around during a very awkward silence. “So, how ya liking Midtown so far?”

You chuckle humorlessly, “I don’t know. You didn’t really help make a great first impression. Is this what all people from Queens are like?”

“I like to think I’m one of a kind.” 

“That’s fantastic news for me then.”

Peter laughs and shakes his head at your stubbornness, ‘You’re funny.”

“And you’re…. persistent,” you sneer.

“Thank you.”

“Yup,” you pop the ‘p’ at the end of the word.

You don’t walk too long before you arrive at a donut shop. The smell of fried dough and coffee envelopes you as you enter, boosting your mood just enough to not rip Peter’s head off.

“Pick your poison,” Peter gestures for you to order first.

“Can I get a double chocolate with sprinkles,” you politely smile at the person behind the counter.

“And I’ll just have a plain glazed,” Peter concludes the order and pays for the both of you.

“Interesting,” you hum.

“What?”

“Nothing… that’s just a little, you know… boring,” you shrug.

“It’s not boring. It’s classic,” he argues.

“Mm that’s what they all say.”

“You’re very judgemental, you know that?”

“Yes,” you beam at Peter for the first time. 

“Oh you smile?”

“From time to time. You just haven’t given me a single reason to,” you force Peter to huff as the two of you grab your donuts and find a seat near the window. Giving Peter hell had proven to be massively entertaining since getting under his skin took absolutely no effort. 

You sink your teeth into the pastry and hum at the deliciousness.

“So, Y/n what’s your story?”

“My story?”

“Yeah, you’re new. Who are you?”

“You first. Ya know, stranger danger.”

Peter smiles at the comment, “Fair point. Well, I’m Peter-” He’s interrupted by you snorting at his introduction. “What?”

“I know your name, you idiot.” 

“Hey, I’m telling you my story and that’s part of it! Now, no more interrupting, please and thank you.” You put your hands up in mock surrender, letting him continue. 

“I’m Peter,” you giggle, but don’t interrupt. “I’m 15. I love math and science. I do photography in my free time. I love pizza and donuts. Not together,” he clarifies. “Umm.. I’m really close with my Aunt May who I live with… and I make a great friend.” 

“Aw cute,” you half-heartedly comment. 

“I’m not cute. And it’s your turn,” he passes the baton.

“Fine. You know my name. I grew up in London.I was adopted when I was 5. I hate math and science. I’m a pretty good painter. I actually learned from my mom. I love watching really sad movies and crying. It’s very cathartic.  I hate eggs. I broke my foot once while riding an imaginary horse. My least favorite word is cohort. My parents just got a divorce. Ummm…. What else do you want to know?”

“Sorry to hear about your parent’s getting a divorce.”

“Don’t be. It needed to happen,” you shrug, breaking eye contact.

“That doesn’t necessarily make it easy on you.”

“Don’t get so sappy on me, Parker,” you push to change the subject.

Peter smiles at your bluntness, “I like you,” he blurts out. You smirk and raise an eyebrow. “Oh! Not like that! I- I just mean like- I like you like a friend.. Not like like. Like more than platonically or anything. I- um.. Oh gosh..” his face floods a deep shade of red.

“Stop saying like, please,” you chuckle at his rambling. “Plus, you just met me! How can you like me already?”

“I don’t know. I think you’re funny and you’re kinda cool. In a way.”

You chuckle, “In a way. I’ll take that, I guess.”

“I’m glad-” he’s interrupted by a ding from his cell phone. He fishes it out of his pocket and sighs at the message. 

“What’s up?”

“Uh, my godfather invited me to dinner.”

“That’s nice.”

“I mean it’d be nice to see him but its always his friends and they’re just all adults. They’re all like rich business people. He says he’s trying to “teach me the ins and outs of the biz”. The conversation’s always about stocks and bonds and NXTs or whatever and I can’t keep up or honestly… care,” he takes another bite of his donut. You watch the lightbulb in his head go off, “You should come!” He says with his mouth full. 

“You just explained exactly why I shouldn’t.”

“Come on! It’d be fun! Will you come with me or not?”

“Have you ever been taught not to go to strangers' houses?”

“Well, we’re not strangers anymore, so you’ll know at least one person there…You’ll see a little more of Queens.” Peter attempts to reason, making you almost cackle. 

“You’re a terrible negotiator, Peter Parker.”

“Please?”

“What’s in it for me?” This makes Peter smirk at you. 

“Well, they have this really fancy private chef-”

“I'm in,” you interject, sitting straight up.

Peter giggles at your sudden movement,“I think that you and I will make great friends, Y/n. I really do.” The smirk on your face was not of your own doing. This was all a pleasant surprise. Granted, Peter wouldn’t have been your first pick by a long shot but, here we are. “Good to see you’re not entirely this tough guy act.”

“Trust me. It’s not an act.”

“Sure it isn’t. I’ll tell you what. The first perk of being my friend, besides a great dinner tonight, I’ll help you navigate what not to eat in the cafeteria. I saw you eyeing the mystery meat today.”

“You know, maybe we will make good friends,” you shiver. Your first day was memorable. Not necessarily good, not necessarily bad. But, you’ve never met anyone quite like Peter and knowing him would obviously be interesting. Maybe moving here and living a normal life wasn’t as far-fetched as it had seemed.

_____________________________________________________________________

“Thanks for coming to this with me, Y/n. Whenever my godfather invites me to these things, it’s always old people. So, it’s nice to finally have someone my age here,” Peter says as you two approach a house that clearly cost a fortune. 

“I hope you know you have me speaking to you again riding on this,” you reply. Peter nods in understanding and rings the doorbell. The two of you rest in silence as the grand door is pulled open and the sound of boisterous conversation billows from within the house. 

“Peter!” an exuberant man with a unique goatee pulls Peter into a bear hug. “Long time no see kid. I thought you forgot about little old me.” 

“How could I, Uncle Tony? Um, this is Y/n, my friend from school that I told you about,” Peter regains his breath and fixes his clothes. 

“Ah, Y/n. I’ve heard great things. Come on in,” Tony waves you both into the house. Your side eye bores into Peter.

“What?” he squirms under your gaze. 

“What could you possibly have told him about me?”

“Nothing too bad, I promise.”

You continue to move through the house, sneaking glances at the expensive paintings that decorated the walls and the ornate furniture that dressed the house. Everything clearly cost more money than anything you can remember ever seeing. Tony leads you and Peter through the house to the dining room where the party was. A number of people were standing around in smaller groups, some were sitting at the table chatting, all with drinks in their hands. You quickly learn that Tony is one to make a scene when he halts everyone’s conversations to introduce you to the group. Dear God.

“Listen up people, I just wanted to introduce you all to Peter’s new friend, Y/n. She’ll be joining us for dinner so be nice.”

“Don’t you think you should take your own advice Tony?” a very warm, red headed woman jokes. The group laughs causing you to shyly smile. The woman diverts her attention to you. “Nice to meet you, Y/n. I’m Wanda.” The rest of the group share their names with sprinkles of nice to meet you’s. 

“It’s nice to meet you all too. Thank you for having me,” you share a small smile with the group. Peter leads you to your seats at the table. You two quickly get caught up in conversation, learning more about each other. Another red headed woman makes her presence known by giving Peter’s shoulder a soft squeeze as she makes her way to her seat next to Wanda, adjacent to you and Peter. 

“Hey Peter, it’s been a while,” she glances in your direction and her eyes linger on you for just a touch too long. 

“Hey Natasha, how are you?” Peter greets her.

“Good!” She fully directs her attention to you and extends her hand for you to shake, “Hi, your name is?”

“Y/n,” you sheepishly introduce yourself. Her grasp on your hands is extremely firm. Typical extremely intimidating business woman. She has a fiery look in her eye with her chin held high. Clearly someone whose good side you’d want to stay on. 

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Y/n,” she emphasizes your name. “I take it you two go to school together?”

“Yes. I just started at Midtown this week.”

“Oh nice. It’s a great school, I hear. Are you enjoying it so far?”

“Kind of a hectic first day. But there were some good things in there. I guess bumping into Peter worked out,” you tease. 

“Literally,” Peter interjects with a rosy tint to his cheeks. 

Natasha emits a low raspy chuckle, “That’s good to hear. You from the city originally?”

“Yes and no.” The women sitting next to you both furrow their brows and tilt their heads, encouraging you to elaborate. “I was actually born here but I moved to London at some point. I was adopted and grew up there.” Natasha slowly nods her head, blatantly trying to read you at this point. You slightly readjust in your seat under her inquisitive gaze.

“Wow, that’s a really big move for your family,” Wanda chimes in. 

“Yeah it absolutely is but, my mom and I wanted a fresh start after my parents split so we made it happen,” you shrug. 

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that happened. I know that can be a very difficult transition,” Natasha comments. 

“No, it’s okay really. It’s nice to be in a new environment.”

“I could imagine. Well, welcome back to New York.” Natasha nods in your direction and you thank her. There’s just no way, Natasha thinks. 

You, Wanda, and Peter continue your conversation. Other sitting near you at the table occasionally contribute to the discussion.

“Nat, where’d you go sweetheart?” Wanda lays her arm over her wife’s shoulders and speaks in a volume for only Natasha’s ears, pulling her from her thoughts. She meets her wife’s green gaze and grabs on to the hand wrapped around her own shoulder. 

“Nowhere. I’m good, love,” she pats Wanda's hand in a miserable attempt to reassure her. 

“You sure?” Wanda tries again.

She nods her head and chances another glance at you, seeing you in an animated conversation with Peter. She is so beautiful, she marvels. She adjusts herself in her seat as she feels her body temperature starting to rise. 

“You know I know you like the back of my hand right?” Wanda mumbles noticing her wife’s restlessness. 

“I’m fine, Wands,” Natasha claims with finality

Wanda refuses to end the conversation,  “But, I know you’re not.”

“Wanda please,” Natasha huffs. 

“Okay. I’ll be here when you want to talk about it.”

“Thank you,” Natasha lighty shakes her head, in a poor attempt at clearing her thoughts. Maybe I’m being ridiculous, she scolds herself.

Dinner starts shortly after. There were countless courses of foods you’d never tried before. There’s usually room for dessert but eating more will likely make you sick. Surprisingly, this dinner was fun. Everyone was extremely hospitable and generous. The business talk was less than ideal but, at least you and Peter had each other to lean on. 

“Who’s got room for dessert,” Tony scans the table, everyone collectively groans. “Great, so everyone,” he concludes. “I believe Bananas Foster is on the menu.”

“Oh, I’ll have to pass unfortunately. I’m allergic to bananas actually,” you sigh in relief at sneaking out of eating more. 

“Cheater,” Peter mumbles under his breath, earning a sly smile from you. 

“We can get you something else, Y/n?” Tony interjects. 

“No, thank you. I’ve eaten more than enough.” 

“You sure?”

“Positive!” the other dinner guests chuckle at your enthusiastic response.

You turn back to Peter as he continues teasing you. You miss Natasha’s pensive demeanor. She’d been paying very close attention to you for nearly the entire evening. A banana allergy has to be a coincidence, right? She’s captured by her own thoughts. 

“Nat, what is it, love?” Wanda is flat out worried at this point.

Natasha huffs and rises from her seat, wiping a thin layer of sweat from her forehead before making a beeline toward the bathroom at the end of the long hallway. The rest of the group share curious glances, being unsure about what they may have missed.  

Almost as soon as Natasha bursts into the first floor bathroom, she slams the door shut, leaning up against it. She struggles to inhale. Adrenaline rushes through her veins as she turns to the sink to splash cold water in her face. She meets her own dilated pupils in the mirror.

“There’s just no fucking way,” she breathes. Natasha’s mind races but she couldn’t catch up with any of her thoughts. She grabs her wallet out of her pocket and shakily searches through the folds. She quickly finds a small, dingy crinkled photo that was folded in half. She opens it to reveal your big, shiny eyes and bright smile, missing a single front tooth. You haven’t changed a bit. Tears flood the woman’s emerald eyes. It was unclear if there was an actual knock at the bathroom door or if Natasha was hallucinating at this point. How did you find your way back to her? The sound of blood rushing in her ears and her eyes being tightly shut did not allow Natasha to hear Wanda entering the bathroom. She nearly jumps out of her skin as her wife’s hand reaches out to grab her attention. 

Wanda notices the image locked in Natasha’s hand and gasps, instantly realizing the resemblance. 

“Doesn’t she remember me?” Natasha forces through her tears and shallow breaths.

[xoxo-teddybear]

The Bakugou Kids - Bakugou Katsuki

(Dad)Bakugou x (Mom)f!reader

Warnings: Fluff, Crack, Cursing

Summary: Bakugou and Y/N love their son with their entire beings, but sometimes, parents need a break. Especially when those parents are responsible for creating a literal demon spawn. He is kind, well behaved, and cute of course! But he does have Bakugou blood in him. With Y/N already away on a girls trip, Bakugou has to find out how he’s going to deal with his (now) many, many kids.

A/N: You passed down your duplication quirk down to Katsuo.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” You asked your husband as you stood at the doorway. “Katsumi may be a calm baby but she’s still a baby. And Katsuo’s quirk just kicked in and it is mine. I would know how difficult it can be to manage.”

“Stop worrying, Babe. It’s just a duplication quirk. And he’s only 5, how powerful can it really be?”Katsuki said, wrapping his arms around you. “Just go on your little girl’s trip with Ponytail and Racoon Eyes. I can handle the brat.”

You looked at your husband with a raised brow and smile before rolling your eyes and giving him a kiss. “Alright then. I’ll see you in a few days!”

With that, you walked out of the house and into the cab to meet your friends at the resort. Katsuki chuckled before walking back into the house to find his son napping on the couch. His spiky, blonde locks were all messed up with bed head while his E/C eyes he inherited from you remained shut. Katsuki walked over to his newborn daughter and picked her up while he took a seat next to Katsuo’s sleeping form, rubbing at his soft hair until he woke up.

“Can’t be all that bad, right Katsumi?”

The baby girl merely cooed with sparkling ruby eyes that mimicked her father’s.

—

Wow. Wrong. He was so wrong! It had only been 2 days since your departure but things had already gone so wrong! When you said your quirk was difficult to manage, Katsuki thought it would be difficult for Katsuo to manage. Not him!

Katsuki should’ve known his son would’ve taken the opportunity to act out while his mother was away. He had always been your little angel while Katsuki saw him as his little gremlin. With Y/N gone, Katsuo has been pushing all kinds of limits. Limits that had Katsuki beat.

Katsuo had been fortunate enough to inherit a quirk. And not just any quirk, but your quirk. Duplication. Basically, he can create copies of himself. When you were his age, you could only create 4, max. Katsuo was different though. He had Bakugou blood flowing through him. He was advanced the second he was born. So now, Katsuki was stuck looking after Katsumi, Katsuo, and Katsuo’s 16 other copies.

“Aye! Number 15, you’re gonna break that lamp! 11 and 8! Don’t wrestle in the mud! Go take a bath! NUMBER 3 GET OFF THE KITCHEN ISLAND! KATSUMI!” The adult blond screamed, looking for his infant daughter, eventually finding her sleeping in her little rocker on the living room floor. “Oh right, you don’t talk yet.”

Katsuki sighed as he slumped down next to his daughter, and leaned his back against the couch. He looked around the room and saw the 17 Katsuo’s making a ruckus around the house. All he could do was question how the hell is 3 month old daughter could possibly sleep through all this.

Katsuki almost lost all hope for humanity until a knock was heard on his front door. Knowing exactly who was there, he quickly got up from his place on the floor and ran to the entrance. “You idiots are finally here!”

Katsuki pulled in his 3 friends, the boys of the Bakusquad, and slammed the door shut. The 3 friends all stood in shock at the sight of the house. Not that it was overly messy or anything. It’s just that there were about 16 more figures in the house that aren’t usually there.

“You gotta help me!” Katsuki said, running infront of them, shaking his best friend’s shoulders. “I love my kids! I do! I love Katsuo, I swear! BUT I DIDNT SIGN UP TO BE A FATHER OF 18 FREAKING DEVILS!”

“Okay! Okay, relax man. We’re here.” Kirishima said, patting his friend’s shoulder as he wept. “How the hell are we gonna take care of 17 little Bakugous?”

“Right? We thought 1 Kacchan was a lot. Then you brought another one into the world, who apparently brought some unannounced friends.” Kaminari joked.

“They’re demons!” Katsuki exclaimed. “This has to be some fucking Karma for the shit I did. I knew I should’ve listened to my old hag better. Now shits came back to bite me in the- HEY! PUT YOUR SISTER DOWN! SHE’S NOT A FOOTBALL!”

Katsuos number 7 and 5 placed a sleeping Katsumi back in her rocker with an annoyed pout before running off to play something else.

“Welllll, there’s nothing that 3 cool uncles can’t fix!” Sero enthusiastically said. “Hey kiddos! Who’s ready to have some fun?”

All the mini blondes stopped their movements, some freezing mid-air, and looked to the slim man. They all shouted in joy at the sight of their uncles and ran to pounce on the 3 men, including their father. From the point of view of the boys in the Bakusquad, it looked like a Bakugou stampede.

“Run, run, RUN, RUN, RUUUNN!!!!” Kaminari screamed as the boys all ran for their lives to escape the herd of Katsuos. This was going to be an interesting day.

—

Safe to say after the day had passed, the boys of the Bakusquad were completely exhausted. Sero had half his clothes torn, Kirishima’s hair fell from it’s great spikes and even lost some red hues, Katsuki’s eye bags had never been heavier, and Kaminari was just straight knocked the fuck out. They were all thrown across the couch as Katsumi rested in Katsuki’s arms.

“What do we do?” Kirishima exclaimed.

“I don’t know.” Katsuki said, looking at his scrambling son(s). “There’s just too many.”

“And we’ve already lost a soldier.” Sero said pointing to Kaminari’s sleeping form. Katsuki and Kirishima followed his gaze and bowed their heads in respect towards the defeated Kaminari.

“Well now what? Is Bakugou just supposed to live like this for the next 3 days?” Kirishima asked.

“Hell no. If I do, there’s not gonna be anymore Katsuki. I’ll just be some body without a soul because my damn gremlins sucked it outta’ me.” Katsuki said with his head dropped down.

“Well how do we get them to calm down?” Sero questioned.

“I don’t know. They’re all mini me’s. Nobody could get me to relax.” Katsuki said in defeat, but that’s when Kirishima had a lightbulb go off for him.

“Except for Y/N!” The red head said, popping up from his seat on the couch.

“Uh, if you haven’t noticed Shitty Hair, this all started because she’s away on her trip.” Katsuki said with sarcasm as he looked at his friend as if he was an idiot.

“I know that! But Y/N wasn’t the only one to tame you, Bakugou!” Kirishima said in excitement.

“So then who else?” Katsuki asked.

“You know,” Kirishima smirked. “Denki’s favorite person. Y/N and.........”

It took Katsuki a second before his eyes popped when he finally got it. “No!”

“Yes!” Kirishima said.

“No way! We’re not going to her!” Katsuki complained.

“Who?” Sero asked.

“Nobody!” Katsuki screamed.

“Oh it’s somebody alright! Somebody who was able to tame the beast in Bakugou the second he was born!” Kirishima said.

“Who?” Sero asked. Katsuki finally sighed before he gave in, realizing this was his only hope for sanity. He grabbed his phone and made a quick call before explaining to his dark-haired friend.

“The demon of all demons...”

—

The door opened to reveal a tall standing brunette and an elder feminine blonde.

“...My mother.”

—

The boys of the Bakusquad all sat lined up on the couch as Mitsuki stood at Katsuki’s end and smacked her son’s head.

“You idiots! Y/N leaves for 2 days and all hell breaks lose?!” Mitsuki screamed at the 3 young men.

“You old hag! Quit hitting me! Ima’ grown man for crying out loud!” Katsuki screamed as he rubbed his head. Masaru simply bounced the sleeping Katsumi in his arms as he watched the scene play out.

“Well if you’re such a grown man then why can’t you manage your own kids without your wife’s help?!” Mitsuki argued, leaving Katsuki silent as he grumbled. The eldest blonde sighed before continuing. “Alright listen, I’ll watch these little devils for the next few days until Y/N comes back. I’d love to spend some time with my grandbrats. Why don’t the 3 of you go take a break and-“

“THANKS! Let’s go losers!” Katsuki said dragging his friends to the exit. Mitsuki and Masaru only laughed at their son’s behavior as they began tending to the kids.

The boys of the Bakusquad all quickly walked out of the house and headed for their cars as they all walked together.

“So, where to?” Sero asked.

“We could go head up that new resort in Tokyo!” Kaminari suggested.

“Naahhh. That’s where Y/N’s having her girl’s trip. Wifey would kill me if she saw me there instead of at home with the kids.” Katsuki said with his hands in his pockets. Kirishima raised his brow at this.

“Oh? So then, maybe we should go back and-“

“You know, on second thought,” Katsuki said with wide eyes once Kirishima made the suggestion. He took his hands out of his pockets and placed them behind his friend’s backs to keep them moving. “Maybe she won’t kill me..if I’m lucky..and wish..upon a shooting star....a million times over. Hah.....yeah. TO THE RESORT!”

As they walked, Kaminari attempted to look at the house once more, prompting Katsuki to turn his friend’s head back around. “No, no, no, don’t look back, they can smell fear.”

[dienamights]

A Reverberate Lullaby | K.Bakugou

✎ The echoing howls stalk you, a ghost hunched on your shoulders, wailing like a child calling for rescue, who cries with no tears. Chanting for a hero that is willing to pick up the pieces of its soul and being, yet it is only left to wither. For the ghost has lost faith that such others exist and can only be cured by finding them, for you are the ghost of your world and love is the only true exorcist.

✎ Protagonists: Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader.

✎ Word count: 4.1K

✎ Category: hurt/comfort, Implied Mature Content MDNI, Prohero!au, Established relationship!au

✎ Caution(!): Implied Mature Content MDNI, mention of depressive state, toxic family, toxic coping mechanism, mention of reader’s weight gain and thoughts about self worth. Please keep in mind while every person’s reaction to depression is different, don’t belittle anyone’s battle when you don’t understand it.

✎ Author’s notes: Hello! Hope everyone’s taking care! Still on hiatus BUT I’m here to post my contribution to the Mental Health Awareness collab by @doinmybesthere​ ! This has been in the works for a while because I kept scarping ideas for triggering me lmao. This piece is very personal to me and I’m glad I am able to share my experience with you all, I hope that it might help anyone out there in reaching out and asking for help because I know how difficult and scary it might be! Please check out everyone’s contribution that they worked so hard for! kisses kisses take care!

OOH ALSO! Thank you so much for 900 followers aaaaaah! You’re all so amazing and if anyone has suggestions for an event to hold in June lemme know! I’ll also think of some ideas

» Masterlist | Requests | Taglist

The morning sun barely rises and peaks through your blinds, sunshine starting to kiss at your cheeks as you squint at the light, the room welcoming the warmth that is being brought into it after the evening’s chill that made you curl tighter in on yourself, clasping whatever heat you could muster than to turn around and find it in the heating pad of a body that lays next to you. 

An alarm only just rings before quickly being shut off, followed by the creaking of the bed when the person behind you shifts, shifts again, another time, before getting up and stalking to the bathroom, after letting an elongated sigh when they sit at the edge of the bed, not acknowledging your presence accompanying theirs. The door clicking closed before the trickling of water fills the quiet room.

Your clock reads 5 am when you squint at it, and you blink at the time before you go on with your routine, setting up breakfast while your boyfriend gets ready to go to work. 

Oddly enough, you don’t really quite remember when you started working on the food, all that you could see in front of you is nothing but a scene that looks like it’s out of a broken TV - there’s just so much static. The voices are distorted, as if they’re coming from a defective radio.

“Listen, this ain’t about me, this is about you and how you-”

“What about me? Huh? That you see me as nothing but a burden? No, you can say it-”

“You wanna hear me fuckin’ say it then fine! This is about you sitting on yer ass all day obsessing over her while she wouldn’ give you the time of day y/n. When will you fuckin’ realize that?”

The scene blurs and sways, and you feel your mind run at a speed you didn’t know it could muster, and you’re unable to keep up with it. The knife in your hand shakes vigorously and barely misses your fingers when you bring it down to cut the vegetables.

The sound of the bedroom door shutting closed alerts you, straightening your back when you hear the drop of your boyfriend’s gauntlet by his chair at the dining table. Katsuki approaches you with careful steps, his still ungloved hand circles your waist before pressing his lips to your temple, a gruff greeting of a whisper laced in between.

“G’morning.”

The familiar scent of caramel mixed in with his aftershave welcomes you, wraps around you and cradles you, promising everlasting safety and happiness. Yet, your heart wrenching sobs and muffled crash of your laptop against your floor that rings in your ears tell a different story, shrieking at you, roaring about your failures, mocking your entire existence.

“Made gohan, should be ready in a minute.” you mumble back, posture stiff at the close proximity of Katsuki and you feel the curl of his lips in displeasure pressing into your temple from both not reciprocating his greeting and your choice of meal for the morning. “You don’ eat gohan,” 

“s’why I’m making it.” The quick retreat from your figure is like a slap to your face, and you barely stop yourself from reaching out and forcing his arms back around you. Because it's the bite in his voice that halts your movement. 

“You’re still going?” you finally turn to take a look at him, the garnets in his eyes shifting, bleeding from hurt, betrayal, confusion, you really weren’t sure. And by God you had no energy left to try and figure out. “Yes I’m still going Katsuki, they’re my-”

“Yer really listenin’ to the bullshit spillin’ outta ya? This isn’t about em being your family y/n, we’ve been through with it already.” the space between you two feels like endless miles, pieces of the broken bridge you both worked so hard to build the only evidence of it ever being there, the rest crumbling into the valley in between your bodies.

“No, you’ve been through with it, I just wanna make things right, m-maybe I can fix it”

“It ain’t yours to fix y/n, when will you realize that?”

“No!” there you go again, sobbing pathetically. “W-why can’t I have a family, huh? Why- why can’t I, fuck, have a family that just loves and supports me a-and just doesn’t- ” your voice croaks, not failing to notice how Katsuki stepped away from the wreck in front of him. Probably having had enough of you, had enough of how troubling and bothersome you are, probably wondering how he got roped with all your shit and got dragged into your mess of a life.

His hands feel like scolding fire when they’re placed on your shoulders, halting their shaking as you cry into the palm of your hand to muffle the sobs, a habit Katsuki has been working so hard on to help you overcome, saddened to see you try and hide your vulnerability from him.

“Because they never made an effort, so why should you?” The tugging at your heart burns, the swallowed sobs feel like needles prickling at your lungs, making breathing feel like an impossible chore. You can’t help but feel restrained whenever you’re presented with the truth, especially unfiltered and unsugarcoated like right now, you know he’s right, you’ve known he was right a long time ago, but admitting it out loud just felt borderline impossible. 

So you do what you do best, push him away, all the strength you can muster barely budges his figure, the meal forgotten on the counter as you run and lock the bedroom door on yourself.

Your footsteps feel heavy, dreading the topics and scenes you’re bound to relive. The grip on the strap of your shoulder bag tightening as you push the glass door open. A sigh escapes past your lips again as you enter the restaurant, half-heartedly smiling at the hostess before making your way inside to look for them.

It’s always the same scenery, the kind that always makes you want to run away to the other direction instead of being dragged down into whatever hell this is. And you pause to question yourself, again, why you actually agreed to put yourself out there.

There they are, seated in the four person table, with two empty seats, one for yourself and the other for the sibling your mother always hoped to have instead of you.

Your mother’s pursed lip could be seen from where you stand at the entrance, the clicking of her tapping foot sounding as bad as grinding metals in your ear, you hate it, despise it

It’s the same clicking you learned to memorize, to anticipate, to fear, when she passed by your room, the clicking that made you smother your face in your pillows and swallow your sobs, because the sound of you crying brought her more distress and annoyance than concern for her daughter.

With another tug at the hem of the shirt you’re wearing, you approach the table, hugging your father when he stands up and nodding to your mom when she eyes your figure.

“Good morning mother. It’s good to see you.”

“What’s wrong with your hair?”

Here we go, you breathe out before tugging at a strand of hair, spitting out your words “nothing’s wrong with it.”

“Then why does it look awful like that?”

There are times like these where you are left to question your reasoning for accepting whatever invitation you received from your parents to have brunch with them after all those months, a moment of weakness deceiving you into believing it was better than to spend it in your empty apartment, with the silence that ate away at your sanity every second. The only evidence of life in it other than yours was the recently cleaned dishes and the note thanking you for the meal, the promise of cuddles and movies tonight making you gain just a little more patience, barely.

You refrain from answering, your response is to lower your head, drag the dining chair before plopping on it, a dreary sigh escaping your lips as you scoot your chair closer to the table. Your mother never changes, it’s been a while since you were able to move out of her home, and while your father tries to tell you that these brunches are a way to reconnect with them, you yourself know that it’s merely a chance for your mother to nitpick at everything you ever did or are doing since you left.

“How have you been y/n.” your father smiles at you, both of you ignoring the sound of your mother kissing her teeth when her attempted jab at you is ignored. “Uh, I uh I’ve been good, I just wrapped up with my exams and so far things have been-” 

“How is your hero boyfriend?” 

For a second, you contemplate whether to ignore her question and keep conversing with your dad, dreading the questions that are to be pushed your way regarding Katsuki, of which will be used as bragging material for when she meets whatever group of friends she associates herself with, but you know better than to ignore her with the way she gets when she isn’t fed with attention. 

“He’s uh, good.”

“Why isn’t he here today? What, too good to meet us?” your mother nags, and for the love of God, would that fucking clicking ever stop?

“No, he’s doing his job of, you know, being a hero.”

“Is he now? Well, what about you, hm?” She cocks her head as her nails tap the table. ”Did you think your father and I wouldn’t figure out you got fired?”

“How-” the gritting of your teeth is deafening at this point, your jaw clenching so tightly as you and your mother stare each other down. “Your dad pulled some strings, it isn’t that hard. So tell me, you like leeching off of him after you were done with us?”

“This isn’t, I just- I was- I, I had a lot of university work piling up a-and I couldn’t make time for my shifts and I just, it was just so hard for me to get out of bed these days and I.” why are you doing this? Why are you explaining yourself to people that don’t deserve it? Why are you feeding off of their acceptance, knowing damn well you never got it, and that thing was never gonna change. 

“Oh, I don’t wanna hear about you not getting out of bed, you’re here now aren’t you? This is all in your head y/n. You need to stop talking nonsense, what’re people gonna say about you, about me, when they hear you?” 

It feels just like yesterday, your figure standing and facing your full length mirror, your reflection eyeing you with identical vacant eyes. Fingers running through your bed head, a wince escaping you at the movement. Bringing your hand up and catching a glimpse of a slight swollen purple bruise along your wrist and the dried blood on your knuckles, the skin stretching upon rotating your wrist and causing notable pain.

Alas, that pain paled in comparison to when your mom barged into your room, blaming you for the way you were acting and belittling your reasoning. Beckoning your father over to replace your broken vanity and for your house maid to disinfect the space, the place sparkling clean and void of any evidence of what had transpired the day prior. 

The shattered glass was picked up and thrown out, the splatters of blood were wiped clean, and whenever you brought up, what your mom refers to as ‘the temper tantrum’, you’re ignored by both your parents as they continued about their day, fearing the shame it would bring upon their name if the event was to catch others’ attention. 

“Good morning! I’ll be your server for the day. What can I get you?” the foreign voice sounds more comforting than your own mother’s, and you almost laugh at the irony of it, but you only return her smile and take a look at the menu. Lighting up a smidge at the name of one of the dishes, while your parents place their order.

“Can I please get the soufflé pancake?” you look up to catch the horrified look on your mother’s face, followed by her clicking her tongue and shaking her head as if your choice of food was shameful. 

“Certainly-”

“Uh, no she won’t be having that. Get her the Honzen Ryori,” your mother eyed your figure -whatever was visible to her from across the table- before turning to face the server again “maybe cut down on the rice, God knows she doesn’t need the extra calories.” and waves her off, disregarding your protests and tapping her nail against the table top, her annoying method in demanding your silence, which you subconsciously react to, snapping your mouth shut when the sound reaches your ears.

“What was that for? You know I like having sweet breakfasts,” was fuming even close to what you are feeling? Probably not. “Yes I can clearly see that, you’ve let yourself go as well. Do you think that boyfriend of yours will stick around when you start putting on even more weight?”

At a loss for words, you turn to your father, who has been quiet this whole time, for any sense of support when it comes to his wife. But the way he presses his lips together tells you all you need to know, how just because he isn’t bad as her, doesn’t make him that great of a parent. That standing by while you have been bullied your entire childhood and well into your adulthood is just as bad as being the cause of it. 

“God forbid he realizes how much of a train wreck you really are and throws you on the side of the street, because you know damn well we won’t be here to pick you up.”

It began as a whispering in the air. The day had been beautiful -well, as beautiful as it can be with the kind of day you’re having- and the sky was like a dome of plasma-blue. The clouds had looked like airy anvils drifting under the gleaming disc of sun. People quickened their pace as the clouds began to gather in the sky. The postcard-perfect sky started changing. The beautiful cocktail-blue shade merged in with the flaming orange and mesmerizing purple as the sun sunk deep into the horizon, before beginning to darken into gravel-grey. Large pillows of cloud start to form, blocking out the old-gold color of the sun.

The first splatter of rain hits you when you’re halfway across the street, dismissing the need to take shelter under the roof of the buildings like some passersby are doing, hoping to see out the shower. Droplets of moisture begin to drip onto your head, sprinkling onto you like a gardener’s hose. It was well after your meal with your parents, and you had spent the last few hours walking aimlessly through the streets, making sure to avoid those covered by your boyfriend during his patrol. Hoping, praying, that something will clear your head, will help your poor jumbled mess of a mind forget about this entire nightmare of a day.

Should’ve listened to him 

The rainfall intensifies, the drops drumming against the hood of the cars that you pass by, there is so much rain that the sound blurs into one long, whirring noise, reminding you of the blades of the fan that you stuck your finger in, that one time when you were left alone in your house when you were only five years of age. Eventually, they fade into a musical chime as you push your drenched hair away from your face and feel the vibration from your phone as it rings the ninth, maybe tenth time. 

He told me so. 

Tall apartment complex building; you couldn’t see its end from where you stand. You shiver as you approach it, the doorman - bless his heart - running and placing his umbrella to futilely shield you from the rain, and you just laugh and tell him that you’re already drenched and just waiting to go back home.

God forbid he realizes how much of train wreck I am

Not wanting to dampen the people at the elevator and make them uncomfortable, you take the stairs up to your shared apartment, you usually don't mind the exercise but with how heavy you feel after the rain and day spent up on your sore feet, all you think about is locking yourself in your room and discover what kind of new façade could you try and fool Katsuki with when he reaches home.

Just how I trick him into thinking I’m not with him to leech off of him

Eventually and with a struggle, you make it to the door, dreading the sight you might come to face, almost hoping for a black hole to emerge and swallow you whole.

What would people say about me? Do people think I’m crazy?

With a forced exhale out of your lungs, you fetch the key from your bag to unlock the door, but it’s wrenched open before you have a chance to insert your key.

“Where the hell have you been?” 

Your eyes meet the beautiful rubies of Katsuki, and despite his anger that always overcompensates his worry, you smile and throw yourself on him. The shivering ceasing when he wraps his warm arms around you and that loving caramel scent engulfs you, in spite of how your hair is drenching his shirt and how you sniff against his neck.

“You need a shower, you’re shivering.”

“Take one with me?” you look up at him through your lashes, and he blinks at your uncharacterized boldness but agrees nonetheless, helping you out of your clothes and turning on the hot water before stepping in with you.

It is a struggle to help you clean up when all you do is grab at him, whether they’re your hands on his shoulders to lower him to kiss you, wrapping your arms around him and pressing your breasts against him, or palming his hardening cock as the poor man tries to shampoo your hair.

“Would ya knock it off? I’m tryna help you here shitty woman” you frown and squint your eyes when the shampoo gets close to them. “I wanna have sex.” 

“Yea I can fuckin tell, just lemme-” you bring his arms down and press his palms to your boobs, letting go of his wrist when he starts squeezing at them. “Do you not want to?” he gulps, his dick twitching at the feeling of your soft mounds in his hands, your nipples covered up by the suds from the shampoo, as your finger traces the underside of his cock. “Yeah, I uh, fuck, I do, just- you need to wash up so you don’t get sick, alright?”

“Do you not think I’m pretty anymore?” you pout childishly, tears threatening to escape your eyes, and they burn as you close them when he washes the product out of your hair, a deep frown on his lips when you open your eyes back again. “The fuck you on about? That rain really fucked with ya?”

“Are you gonna get rid of me when you realize how much of a mess I am?” you whisper, your voice muffled under the sound of the shower above you, and you keep quiet as he helps you scrub your body, but your boyfriend is observant, he isn’t fucking dense.

“What do you want, right now?” he lowers himself to your level when he’s done, his hands stroking your cheeks as he eyes the way the water droplets cling to your lashes, but still not missing the red rimming around your eyes.

“I just wanna for- I uh, I wanna have sex.” you mumble, a plea hidden underneath your words, a plea to help you forget, to help you bury this day behind you and pretend it never happened.

What you don’t expect is the way that Katsuki pulls your naked wet body out of the bathroom and drops you on the bed, feeling your bodies dampening the bed as he hovers over you, no words are spoken between you as he kisses and nips at your skin. Marking it up and down as he all but worships your body, strands of his hair tangle between your fingers when you run your hands through it, arching your back at the feeling of his tongue tasting your slick.

He doesn’t let up until you cry out, and not in pleasure, your sobs far beyond those he loves to hear when he’s denying you an orgasm. No, they’re sobs that wreck your whole body, kicking away at his shoulders as you curl in on yourself and wail into the sheets. Sitting on his haunches on the floor, Katsuki’s eye soften at your figure, the way your shoulders are shaking and how -yet again- you’re trying to muffle your cries with the sheets this time, pressing your face against the mattress in an attempt to lower your noise, as your mother would call it.

“Hey, look at me” you feel his lips grazing your ear as he kisses it, pressing his lips against your temple, fingers unwrapping your fist against the sheet and digging into your hands and pressing kisses against the nail marks in the palm of your hands. “There she is, there’s my girl.” you hear when you lift your head from the bed, sight blurry from your shed tears but still easy to distinguish Katsuki even between billions of people.

You sniff when he kisses at your lids, groan when he chuckles and calls you ‘snot the naught’ when you wipe your nose with the back of your hand, beaming when he hears you let out one weak chuckle at the way he teases you. Still pressing his lips against any surface of skin he can reach.

“You don’t have to talk about it you know, to me at least” he mumbles to you when you’re both dressed in your sleepwear and are cuddling on the dry side of the bed, opting to change the sheet the next day. “Maybe, maybe we can get someone who can help you, you know.” you press your face deeper between his neck and shoulder, shuddering when his warm palms rub your back from under your shirt. 

“I can make some calls, get in contact with someone.” you lift your head. “But I can’t afford-” he tuts and frowns at you “None of that.” 

“Remember what I said when we agreed to move in?” you do, you just love the sound of his voice when he says it, feels like he’s making all these promises all over again. “Tell me.”

“Told ya I’d be whoever you want me to be, whoever you need me to be. I’ll be yer mom, even better than that bitch, I’ll support and love you unconditionally.” you sniff and tighten your hold against him as he presses his lips against your cheek. 

“I’d be better than yer pussy dad, you can rely on me any time and I’ll live up to all your expectations. And callin me daddy is always a plus” he tangles his legs with your own when you wiggle away from him, laughing and giving you no chance of escape, not that you are even thinking of it. 

“I’d even be yer genius fuckin nanny that taught you to tell yer mom to go fuck herself when you were four,” your suppressed giggles lights him up and he can’t help but chuckle as well. “I’ll be anything and everything you’ll ever need, baby. I’ll be your goddamn hero.”

The sun comes out again, casting slanted beams of light across the buildings. Steam rises slowly from the greenery. It rises up eerily and drifts mist-like towards the molten-gold sun, right before it escapes into the abyss. The image is so vivid that it stays with you for as long as you remember. Because on this exact day, the shrieking that follows you everywhere you go, haunting you and mocking you, suddenly is nowhere to be found. And all you can hear is the comforting sound of Katsuki as he hums you a lullaby to sleep.

aaaah I hope you like it!

[sunlightandsuffering]

i'm honestly just writing shit at this point lol, just randomness 😂😂😂

Mikasa doesn’t entirely know why she does it, why she agrees to the god-awful idea. But it’s Zeke and she really can’t say no to him, they’ve been through too much shit in their master’s program together for her to say no to this one little favour.

He’d begged, gotten down on his knees and pleaded with her and she could do nothing but resign herself to her fate. It would be fine, Levi always worked Christmas and Christmas Eve anyway, it’s not like she was missing much by not going home. She usually just watched The Grinch by herself and laughed at the irony of being alone on Christmas while the whos sang around the Christmas tree and Mikasa ate Christmas cookies.

Basically, the story was that pretty much that his parents were extremely concerned about him, or well, parent at least. Zeke was getting older, he was twenty-seven and he’d never so much as brought a date home for Christmas, his dad worried that he was lonely.

It didn’t matter that Zeke had plenty of friends and was always irritatingly chipper, his dad and his second wife Carla always asked the same question every year with that hopeful lilt in their voice, “Will you be bringing any guests home this year?”

And this unfortunate year, her academic partner in crime had cracked under the pressure and told his entire family yes, he was bringing a great girl home.

Dina, his mother had apparently been thrilled and Christmas dinner was now supposed to be a very large affair, where it was usually just a quiet dinner before. Now, the whole family was getting together, Zeke’s younger brother was even flying in from their city where he worked.

Zeke had of course grumbled the last part rather begrudgingly with a sour look on his face and Mikasa had gathered that Eren didn’t quite deal with the same scrutiny as Zeke.

“Are you jealous of him?” Mikasa had asked incredulously, for Zeke was a smart man, doing his masters in a very specific field of psychological research, an area of children’s development that had hardly been explored and he was brilliant at it. Well on his way to pioneering new studies that would further research by leagues, Mikasa looked up to him so much, was honoured that he actually even interacted with her!

Zeke had pouted, “It’s not that I’m jealous, I just, his family is so much more functional than mine was. His mom is so nice, they have such a good relationship, and ugh Dad dotes on him, it’s like he’s his mini-me. Went to medical school and all that, he got into this really difficult program that fast-tracks you right out of high school, so he’s only twenty-five and he’s already a resident on his way to being a full doctor,” Zeke gives her a meaningful look, “So you can imagine how much more my dad cares about him.”

“I’m sure it’s not like that.”

Mikasa had met Grisha a few times at ceremonies for Zeke’s many accomplishments, the man had been nothing but nice, often offering to take everyone out for dinner after which Zeke almost always refused.

But Mikasa really can’t imagine having to compete with a younger half-sibling a few years your junior and seemingly more well-loved than she would ever be. It must be awful.

She decides on the spot to dislike him, or at least barely interact with him.

Fuck Zeke’s younger brother, he’s probably some pompous asshole anyway.

She’s loyal to her friend, she’s going to be on his side, especially because it seems like everyone else always prefers his younger sibling, the golden child. Fuck that, she’s here for her best friend, and she’ll be the best damn dates the Yeagers and Dina have ever seen! Maybe Eren will even be jealous.

Mikasa eats her words about an hour after arriving to the Yeager’s residence, where they’ll be staying because Dina, Zeke’s mother has a smaller apartment in the city, whereas the Yeagers have a large house out in the countryside.

Everyone is exceedingly kind and Mikasa thinks Zeke is definitely making up a little bit of this drama in his head. Carla is the kindest person ever and she treats Zeke like he’s her own son, although never pressing the boundaries of being a mother, she’s kind and respectful. The kind-hearted woman welcomes Mikasa with a big hugs and excited exclamations of “She’s so lovely Zeke, you didn’t tell us how lovely she’d be, I hope you’re treating her right!”

Grisha is a little quieter but also kind nonetheless, ushering them into their large house and taking them to the sitting room for some snacks, all Zeke’s favourites laid out.

Carla had went to the effort of making all of his favourite cookies just for his visit.

Mikasa cannot fathom what is so awful about these people that Zeke refuses to visit.

Then, about an hour in, the door opens, and she hears a deep male voice call out, “Ma, Dad I’m home!”

There is some thumping around and Carla stands up excitedly, “We’re in the sitting room honey, come on over and meet Zeke’s girlfriend!”

Mikasa readies herself, she’s prepared for whatever happens, she’s expecting some douche canoe in loafers and a polo shirt, probably with perfectly coiffed blonde hair, and an annoying smirk.

She will not like Eren Yeager, she’s on Zeke’s side until the end.

This will be a perfect Christmas and Zeke can finally be the golden child with the pretty, smart girlfriend, he can be the one everyone fawns over!

Then she sees him, and she swears her heart stops. He’s handsome, very handsome, those pretty green eyes sparkling in the sun as he enters the room, not quite as tall as Zeke, but still large enough to look down at her, and surprisingly broad as well.

To her surprise he’s not dressed in khakis and a polo, he’s wearing a pair of dark green joggers and a black t-shirt, dark brown hair, a little dishevelled and falling from his bun at the nape of his neck. Not to mention, he has more piercings than she ever thought acceptable for a doctor, his one ear lined with to little hoops and she gets just a peak of a tattoo on his shoulder under his shirt. He's just her type, oh no.

Carla and Grisha quickly get up to hug him, and he reciprocates warmly, before to her surprise he makes a b-line for his brother, completley shattering her image of him as bratty younger brother who always gets his way. “Zeke! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, you never come out my way! We live in the same city, but I never see you!”

Before her friend can protest he’s bypassing Mikasa to give the blonde man a big hug and Mikasa is left to inhale the delicious scent of mint and aftershave he leaves in his wake, so excited to see his older brother. It is at this point, Mikasa knows it’s all in Zeke’s head. Eren is so genuine, so happy to see him, she has no doubt this boy probably idolizes his big brother, and yet here Zeke is resenting him.

What did she get herself into?

After a round of greetings Eren finally pulls back to make himself comfortable on the large couch they’re all sharing, stretching out, his shirt riding up to expose a tantalizing glimpse of abs that she wants to trace with her tongue. “And who might you be?” He asks her with a dazzling grin and damn those pretty white teeth for being so straight.

She clears her throat awkwardly, “Mikasa, I’m Zeke’s,” she really struggles to get the word out in front of this beautiful boy, admitting she’s dating his brother is a death sentence to any possibility of a relationship with him, but damn it she must remain strong!

She gulps, “girlfriend, I’m Zeke’s girlfriend.”

His eyebrow quirks up for a moment and he hums, “Well it’s lovely to meet you Mikasa,” the way he says her name says shivers down her spine and he grins, holding out his hand.

She takes it wearily, and his hands are warm, calloused as he shakes her own, thumb sliding over her knuckles lovingly.

Intense emerald eyes lock on hers, swirling with something she can’t name, and she thinks maybe Eren isn’t entirely as innocent as she first thought.

“I’m Eren, Zeke’s younger brother.”

God, she’s so fucked.

[dantelionwishes]

life is full of ups and downs downs downs downs dow

loredump under the cut. not kidding when I say its gonna be long!

oh shit you actually clicked keep reading thank you for your interest 😭😭😭

YOU KNOW THE DRILL tw // suggestive dont read ahead if youre uncomfortable with the topic of aphrodisiacs! 

MIDDLE SCHOOL 

before anything, I gotta explain he was born to parents who had an infatuation quirk (makes them hardcore fall in love with you) and an infection quirk (transmits a virus via saliva)  

developed his quirk late, since they usually get it by the time kids are four 

most people knew him as quirkless before the first incident 

in middle school, his class was preparing for a school play, he and his classmate got cast as the main lead prince and princess 

coincidentally, they both had a crush on each other and had a scene where they kissed

technically they weren’t supposed to, since its just a play, but one time they were practicing in private and wanted to try kissing “for real”

so they shared a super giggly cute middle school first kiss but well UNFORTUNATELY FOR HIM HIS QUIRK HAD WELL DEVELOPED– 

BADABING BADABOOM YOU HAVE AN IMAGINATION USE IT

the only way for the quirk’s effects to go away is to come at least once or pleasuring yourself until it goes away

I DO NOT WANT TO IMAGINE IT BUT. IMAGINE BEING A TEACHER AND FINDING A MIDDLE SCHOOLER WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER AND AN ADULT IS FORCED TO TELL HER HOW TO MAKE IT GO AWAY LLLLIKE–

rip now that I’m thinking abt it, I don’t even think anybody would even kNOW HOW TO MAKE IT GO AWAY so lets imagine she painfully stays that way until they figure out how to make it stop :^(

there’s a big fight that happens between the teachers, principal, and parents of both parties 

of course the crush’s parents got mad and called their kid a fuckin uhhhhh sexual predator or some shit despite also beING THE SAME AGE AND NOT EVEN KNOWING ABT HIS OWN QUIRK LIKE HELLLO

obviously an incident like this is going to spread like wildfire but the principal does not want something like this to leak, especially since it was not on purpose and was a total accident 

the other kid’s parents and some teachers did not feel comfortable however, and sato was forced to drop out

but not wanting to spread the gossip about their son’s quirk and the incident, they leave the town and move someplace else

thankfully, the principal gives the sato family his good grades and a recommendation to a decent highschool for the trouble

they’re originally from osaka, but moved to tokyo 

this is where they start taking precautions with sato, basically teaching him to be careful with his saliva 

it was easily taught and learned esp since the mom was already like that around him and others everyday anyway!! she has to take care of her saliva-based infection quirk, after all 

HIGH SCHOOL

he got enrolled into a regular highschool in tokyo

no hero course, no support course, no business, just a regular ol’ school

if before, he loved surrounding himself with people, this was where he was forced to develop a lonely disposition to protect himself and others

at least his parents were very protective and supportive of him and they were generally a happy family!

but in school, pretending to be quirkless was just as difficult, getting bullied or pitied for having no special abilities 

his excuse for wearing a mask all the time was because his mother had a virus-related quirk, and had to be careful 

one day his dad was suddenly got really, really sick

the more he had an excuse to wear a mask because he didnt want to get whatever disease his father started to develop 

sato started thinking it could be his mother (but why?) the results didn’t say anything about an unknown virus killing him (which is his mom’s quirk), and that his father really did contract a strong yet very normal disease 

while on his second year in highschool, his father, yozo sato, died 

apparently, without him knowing anything about his parents, his mother, oba sato, was actually under the dad’s infatuation quirk this whole time

she realised she wasn’t really in love with him when oba had accidentally allowed a drop of her saliva to fall into the meal she was making him, making him sick, and therefore making him weak enough to deactivate his quirk on her 

oba, back in her college years, wanted to marry someone else but yozo, who had a crush on her wanted her to himself, used his quirk to make him fall in love with her 

so in revenge for making her put up with him all these years to the point of marriage and having a kid, she continued to do this to his food 

her quirk doesn’t make anybody sick enough to die, but it made her husband’s immune system weak enough to the point that it contracted a real, serious disease which he ended up dying from instead 

sato only finds out the real story when he graduates from highschool, days right after his graduation the mom confesses it all 

she does say she truly loves him, but can’t stay around him knowing he was technically “unconsensual love”

sato gets reminded of what his quirk does, and true enough, that’s what him and his quirk turned out to be (a sick combination of his mom and his dad) 

they cant bear to be around each other after that revelation and decide to just not see each other again 

COLLEGE YEARS

he enrolls into an education course, inspired by the kind principal who helped him finish his middleschool-highschool education when it all started going downhill 

sato struggles paying for his college fees esp since he doesn’t exactly have his parents supporting him anymore, nor any contact with immediate family 

he has a lot of part time jobs that go all around the clock, he continues pretending to be quirkless so he gets bullied, and has to deal with all that emotional baggage plus being alone so…….clearly my man is TIRED as hell 

his side job hustles include: convenience store cashier, bookstore attendant, bar bouncer, and rookie gym trainer (he went to the local gym long enough for him to get recommended a job as a trainer)

college was that point where he starts developing a hardcore yearning for a companion because oh my god hes so lonELY (but cant)

ANYWAY SO

there’s this bully guy who always picks on him in college (for being “quirkless” and a loner and overall a fuckin weirdo with a mask)

tbh sato doesnt really give a shit he’s so used to it but he doesnt have his mother as an excuse to wear the mask anymore, this is where he starts forming the “I have bad breath” excuse 

“口臭い” (kuchi kusai) translates to “bad breath” or “stinky mouth” so sato unlovingly gets nicknamed “kusato”

one day he’s walking around the campus at night and finds the bully with his gang cornering another quirkless student, with plans of assaulting her 

sato was never the hero type, and was about to ignore the commotion as to not get involved, but something in him moved on its own and he found himself face to face with the gang 

he confronts them, but the bully mocks both him and the girl for not having powers to stop them anyway 

SIKE BITCH sato’s able to easily strike the other two guys, knock them off their feet enough to be able to tug the to-be victim aside, telling her to report them, before asking her to run away as fast as she can

none of the guys want that (they’re all students) so they have a full on brawl (and this isnt hero academy, its a totally normal university so I wouldn’t assume these guys had very impressive quirks)

except the main bully actually has a pretty decent quirk (he’s like a kinda half human half dragon with sharp claws, scales, and dragon eyes) and gets to injure sato with his sharp claws, seriously injuring his face

a part of his ear is also sort of sliced off, which is how his mask gets accidentally removed in the process 

the dragon bully grabs him by the collar and starts angrily shouting at him for ruining his night, being able to do all this shit without a quirk and all and all other derogatory speech 

“Well? what do you have to say for yourself?!“ 

Sato stays silent before spitting right into the bully’s mouth 

The bully drops him immediately, about to angrily fuck him up for doing something super fucking gross but WHOOP WHOOP YOU KNOW WHATS BOUTTA HAPPEN the quirk works immediately and the bully is a TOTAL MESS on the ground 

Im going to TLDR this part cos its…obviously nsfw but like: sato fully embarrasses him in public (beside the bully’s two colleges nonetheless) 

sato stays in the hospital for some time to heal from his wounds 

fortunately, afterwards, the bullies all get expelled 

unfortunately for sato, he also gets expelled for engaging in bad behaviour, and the bully did say what happened to him (and the college principal did not want his…dangerous quirk on campus) so as to lower any incident, all four were expelled 

at least without having to pay for college fees anymore, he could fully focus on paying for food, shelter, and clothes 

minus of course the hospital bills needed to pay plus he got a sick ass scar from it anyway HAHAHAHA BSDJHJRHDHF

ADULT LIFE

he had a lot of jobs here and there, but was more or less doing best as a trainer at a local gym where people weren’t allowed to use their quirks and strengthen their body regularly 

a few years went by and he eventually shrugged off everything that happened in his final college years but one day someone familiar walked into the gym! It was the fellow college student he saved!!!

she became a policewoman who wanted to get stronger in this quirkless friendly gym and hadn’t given up on her dreams of being a “hero,” inspired by how sato saved her that day

sato never really saw himself as some hero, he was left many nights alone thinking about how easily he could become a villain with his quirk, so hearing that really made him happy 

he trains her as her gym coach and she eventually asks him to join her patrol this small part of the city from a gang that was currently going around doing crimes since he’s good at it anyway, saying she could use some extra hands hehe

so yeah!! he does this side gig with her where he patrols alongside her looking for gang crimes and such c:

AND ONE DAY. [WISTFUL SIGH] ONE DAY. HE FINDS SOMEBODY GETTING MUGGED BY A GANG MEMBER AND SAVES………A CERTAIN MAN–

thank you for reading all the way here!!!

feel free to ask for questions or for any clarifications 😭😭😭!!!!!!

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

omg you should write about stevie crying and being upset when she sees her daddy without all his tattoos ! she would think he’d look soo weird 😩

i LOVE this concept omg

you look naked

warnings: none

word count: 2.3k

"I'm gonna be home late again today," Harry sighed as he splashed some milk into his coffee. There had been an abundance of days like this since he started working on Don't Worry Darling. Most days, he left the house before 8 AM and didn't get home until after 9 that night. "I'm so sorry it's been like this so much lately. I know it hasn't been easy here, but it should only be a few more-"

"It's ok," you reassured him, stepping closer to lean against him. "I get it. I'm not upset with you or anything, I just wish I got to see more of you."

"I know," he sighed again. "I hate not being able to see you and Stevie. At this rate, she's going to forget about me."

"She's not going to forget about you," you smiled. "She loves you way too much for that."

"Yeah, but I see her, what? Three hours every week?"

"Well, now you're just being dramatic. You might not see her on the weekdays, but you're home all day on the weekends. And, like you said, it's only a few more weeks, maybe a month? Right?"

"Right," he said, tilting his head to rest it on top of yours. "And once it's over, I have nothing planned for the next 6 months, at least. I'm just going to stay home and spend time with my girls."

"I'm already excited," you grinned. "I'm going to paint your nails every single day."

One thing you really didn't like about him being an actor was how little freedom he had with his personal style. There was no point doing things like nail polish, because that would just be another thing he had to sit through the removal of before they shot every day.

"Can't wait," he smiled, leaning down to peck your lips. "And I'm going to spend some quality bonding time with Stevie. I can't believe she's almost a year old," he mused with wonder in his voice. "It goes by way too fast."

"It does," you agreed, leaning down to take a sip of his coffee. You tipped the cup to your lips, only moving back when he frowned playfully.

"That's enough, I need my sustenance," he pouted.

"Sorry," you grinned. "How about this instead?"

You leaned up on your tiptoes, bracing your hands against his shoulders. You hovered your lips above his, keeping them a hair's width apart before you whispered quietly.

"How's this for sustenance?"

You pressed your lips to his in a tender movement, leaning into him more as you wrapped your arms around his neck. He sighed against you, blindly reaching back to set his coffee cup down before his hands returned to you, pressing against your cheeks to hold you closer to him.

After a few long moments, he pulled away. You chased his lips, not missing his small grin as he leaned back in for a few quick pecks. He didn't let go of your face, instead leaning his forehead against yours and breathing quietly in time with you.

"Better than coffee," he smiled, his lips just barely brushing against yours as he spoke.

"Yeah?" you grinned back, your arms still slung over his neck.

"Mhm," he sighed one last time before pulling away and glancing at the clock. "But I really have to get going."

"Ok," you offered a small smile, trying to remind him that you weren't upset with this. You knew when he took this role that things would be a little hectic; and you had both agreed it would be ok. You thought he was taking this harder than you were, honestly. For the most part, you and Stevie had settled into a rhythm and you weren't too overwhelmed. You could tell Harry still felt bad for leaving you alone with her every day, but you did everything you could to reassure him that it was really just fine.

"I'll text you whenever I can," he promised, drinking the last few sips of his coffee as he stepped towards the door. You nodded, turning to wipe off the countertop before you would settle into the couch for a little alone time. You normally had about half an hour between Harry leaving and Stevie waking up. A few precious moments where your time was completely your own.

Not this morning, though. Before he even got the door open, your last bits of conversation were cut off by a loud wail coming through the baby monitor.

"Well, sounds like she's up," You offered a small smile to Harry, throwing the rag back into the sink. "Have a good day, baby," you stepped out of the kitchen, making your way towards the cries that were increasing in volume.

"I'm coming, Stevie," you said.

"Y/N!" Harry called from the kitchen.

"What?"

He didn't answer, but soon you heard his heavy footsteps coming down the hall.

"I wanted to see her before I go," he smiled, looking almost shy. "I don't usually get to, but since she's awake..."

"Yeah, of course," you smiled back, taking his hand and leading him to the nursery.

"Stevie, look who's here," you said softly, flicking on the light in the baby's room. "Daddy's here, he wants to say good morning."

Stevie's crying had stopped, replaced by a happy smile when she saw her mom and dad. 

“Hi!” she said, giggling excitedly. She knew three words: mama, dada, and hi. She used these words very frequently, especially hi. It was her favorite thing to say. 

Harry reached down to her, pulling her up and lifting her up above his head. She laughed again, kicking her legs as he looked up at her.

"Good morning, princess!" He seemed just as excited as her, if not more. Your heart felt like it was going to burst from how sweet this moment was. "I missed you while you were sleeping," he brought her back down, nuzzling his nose into her cheek. She giggled and squirmed away, hiding her face against him. "What's that? You missed me too? Yeah, I figured," he grinned, turning to you. "Hear that, baby? She missed me while she was sleeping."

"I'm sure," you smiled, leaning against the dresser as you watched the sweet moment unfold. Harry continued talking to her like she understood everything, and in turn he acted like he could understand her babbling in response.

"Really? I can't believe you went to the zoo in your dream! We'll have to do that sometime soon, hm?" he bounced her a bit, completely focused on her little face.

After a few minutes, he turned back to you.

"I don't want to go to today," he said, as if he was already contemplating calling in sick. 'Do you think they would be that mad if I didn't go today?"

"Yes, Harry," you said, stepping closer to reach for Stevie. "You have to go. But it's ok, because it'll go by fast, and then you can come home and see us again."

"But she'll be sleeping," he nearly whined.

"You can come in and say goodnight. She falls back asleep pretty easy these days, so I don't mind if you wake her up for a few minutes."

"Really?" he asked excitedly.

"Yes," you laughed. "But in order to come home to us, you have to go somewhere first."

"Right!" he was already halfway out the door.

"Love you, baby. Love you, Stevie," he blew two kisses at you before he stepped into the hallway.

"Love you too, baby," you held up Stevie's small hand to catch the kisses he left.

"Alright, miss Stevie," you bounced the baby on your hip. "What should we do today?"

-----

"Why are you so fussy today, hm?" You questioned the baby, rocking her gently to try and calm her down. "I thought you'd be happy since you got to see daddy this morning, but apparently not."

It was almost like getting to see him for a few minutes upset her more than if she hadn't been able to at all. Like she missed him more since she got to see him, only to have him leave.

"He'll be home soon," you said gently, bouncing her small body. "Then we can all cuddle together. How's that sound?"

She babbled through her tears in response.

"Not quite sure what that means, but I'll take it as excitement."

Before you could move to find something else to distract her, your phone rang. You reached to grab it, shushing Stevie as she cried more.

"Hi baby!" you smiled, holding the phone to your ear.

"Hi," he answered, and you could almost hear the smile in his voice as he spoke. "Why's she crying?"

"I think she misses you," you sighed, rocking the chair more. "Here, talk to her, see if she calms down." You put the phone on speaker, holding it away from you so Stevie would be able to hear him.

"Hi lovie!" Harry's excited voice came through the speaker. Stevie's fussing quieted immediately and she started at the phone. "Are you being fussy today?"

Stevie babbled in response.

"That means yes," you chimed in, laughing lightly.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'll be home soon, though, and then we can snuggle together."

"I already told her that," you smiled at Stevie, who was still completely fascinated by Harry's voice. "Shockingly, the 9 month old isn't very patient."

"Well, why don't you come see me right now?"

"What?"

"Yeah, we're having some sound issues so we're all just sitting around right now. I don't think anyone would mind if you came to visit for an hour or so?" He paused for a moment and you heard muffled voices in the background. "Everyone here's fine with it, and they'd love to see both of you."

You weren't so sure about this offer. Stevie was notoriously difficult to dress and get ready quickly, and she was definitely not a fan of car rides. But it was only ten minutes away, and she could probably just stay in the onesie she was already wearing, and Harry sounded like he really wanted to see you...

"Ok, we'll be there in half an hour," you decided, standing up.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna go so I can get dressed. Do I need to bring anything?"

"Nope, just you and my beautiful baby," he said. You could tell he was practically bursting with excitement.

"Ok, she's not happy that I've gotten up, so I'm gonna go. Hopefully I can calm her down before we get there. I don't think anyone would appreciate me bringing a screaming child onto the premises."

"Sounds good," he laughed. "See you soon. Love you. Love you, Stevie!"

"Bye, love you," you smiled back before ending the call. "Come on Stevie, we're going on an adventure."

-----

"Guess who's here?" You approached Harry's chair from behind, carrying Stevie in one arm and the diaper bag in the other.

Harry was sitting in one of those fancy director's chairs, with his name printed across the back. He spun around at the sound of your voice, his entire face lighting up when he saw you and Stevie. He stood up, moving around the chair to step closer to you.

He was only wearing a pair of black sweatpants, and it was one of the weirdest sights you had ever seen. Not because of the lack of a shirt, but because the lack of tattoos. They had been completely covered. Completely. He looked...

"Oh my god, you look naked," you said in an astounded tone, stepping back to stare at his torso.

He let out a loud laugh, dropping his head.

"That's what I thought the first time I looked in a mirror," he grinned. "I haven't been without any tattoos since I was 17."

"Weird," you repeated, unable to drag your eyes away from his clean skin.

"Thanks," he smiled.

You blushed a bit, finally pulling your eyes away to look up at him.

"Anyways, it's nice to see you. I don't like waiting until the end of the day."

"Me neither," he said, stepping closer. "And how's my baby girl?" he reached out for Stevie, who had been staring at him just as intensely as you had.

Before you could hand her off to him, her face screwed up in confusion and she began to cry again.

"No, bug, don't cry!" you said, bouncing her again. "We came to see daddy! Come on, why are you fussing again?" She kept staring at Harry, not relenting her loud cries.

You held her out to Harry, hoping that maybe he would be able to calm her down, but she only cried harder when you did. She turned away from him, hiding her face in your shoulder.

"Harry, your naked skin is scaring her!" you scolded playfully.

He laughed in surprise, looking down at his arm. "I think you're right. She's only ever seen my arms with all the ink, so she probably think's it's pretty weird. I'll... I'll go find a jacket or something."

He turned away, leaving you to deal with Stevie who was still crying quietly. After she calmed down a bit, you settled into Harry's chair so you could look around with her.

Soon, you were approached by a group of Harry's coworkers, who were all very excited to see Stevie.

You answered a whole slew of questions, smiling and offering statements like "she's 9 months" and "yes, she is growing very fast!" and "yes, she did get Harry's dimples". Stevie was loving the attention. She was smiling and babbling and saying "hi" to everyone who looked at her.

Harry came back wearing a black hoodie. He approached cautiously, not sure if Stevie would still be upset. To both of your delight, she seemed to think everything was back to normal. She reached her small arms out to him, and his face lit up as he took her from you.

"Hi," Stevie said, smiling brightly.

"Hi bug," he grinned back, kissing her cheek. "I missed you and mommy. Did you miss me?"

She babbled in response.

"That means yes," you offered, and he grinned at you.

[mrs-hollandstan]

More Than Perfect || Sam Holland

Warnings: mentions of nudity, mentions of childbirth and the complications afterwards, self-doubt, language?, babiessss, Sam just being a supportive cutie

Word Count: 1,720

Author’s Note: Hopefully you guys enjoy a little bit of dad!Sam. Lemme know :) Also, huge credit to @/marsbudge on Instagram for the picture on the right. She’s amazing in expressing her beauty and is the whole reason I created this piece. Moms/ women in general are fucking superheroes. 

My Masterlist || Add yourself to one of my taglists

There was nothing like having a baby. You were told that once you had a little one, your life would change and you would never understand the absolute love you have for this tiny human you'd made. When you and Sam got pregnant with your daughter, he was infatuated with your naked body. The tummy and the thick thighs and the ever growing breasts. Not that you yourself particularly minded being nude around your fiancè or just in general, especially when it just so happened that in the worst weeks of your pregnancy you'd be in the middle of summer. 

When your belly popped towards the bottom, blossoming up the further you got in your pregnancy, Sam lost his mind. He loved the bump and when his hands wandered, it's often where they ended up. More than anything, Sam appreciated the changes your body went through, especially the stretch marks around your thighs, hips, and belly. The boy was obsessed. That's why his Instagram blew up with pictures of your belly, pictures from the baby shower, of the nursery, of her closet, her name board above the crib, and eventually her when she arrived in the beginning of August. 

Virginia Elizabeth was what you named her and Sam, just as much as when she was in your belly, was obsessed with her. She was constantly in his arms and he admired each one of her little features on the daily, dressing her, feeding her (if you couldn't of course), changing her, rocking her to sleep. He was an all around great father. 

Especially because of the pain and exhaustion he inevitably and guiltily felt he inflicted on you. Your bump remained for a few weeks, but what it left, Sam saw, made you slightly depressed. Your feet were still swollen, your breasts were huge but your belly was starting to sag, and the bleeding was ridiculous. You slept most of the time because of the constant milk production and late nights, but Sam didn't mind taking Virginia out into the living room and kitchen, especially if his brothers were over to see their baby girl. 

However, after about a month you'd gotten somewhat used to being a mom and feeding her late at night with Sam right there at your side, giddy smile on his face the entire time at the look of his girls. He loved introducing you as his girls and going to see family and friends with your bubbly little girl in his arms. But something that seemed to remain after all of it was the nudity in your house. 

Sam found that most times he came to find you napping, you were nude beneath the blanket. Not that he minded. Easy access to the skin of your back and belly and thighs. He actually loved the sight and hoped that when he went back to culinary school and eventually went to work as a chef in one of your local restaurants, you'd still be like that, something to look forward to when he climbed into bed with you. 

With a day off from work but not from school, Sam was off in the afternoon and back before the sun started to set, walking up the stoop with a smile on his face. Even a few hours spent away from his girls was torturous. Shouldering the door open, he drops his bag just inside, kicking his shoes off just beside it, 

"Babe?" He calls. There's no reply, a frown covering Sam's face as he walks towards the nursery. He pauses in the doorway of your bedroom when he sees you, smiling to himself. You stand just before your bed, nude with your little girl, only clad in a diaper, in your arms. Your eyes are closed as you sway from side to side, the little one whimpering softly. Walking into the room, Sam stands with his hands on his hips, 

"Look at you two." He says softly. You open your eyes slowly, glancing at him. His smile is so wide you don't know how it fits on his face. He takes a deep, breathless like breath, looking you over, "You two are so perfect." He mumbles before he walks forward again, coming to stand behind you. His hands rest over your hips, lips pressed to your temple, 

"You smell like biscuits." You murmur softly, not faltering in the swaying, even as you lean back against his chest. He chuckles softly, 

"Orange cardamom biscuits. They'd go good with your tea, I'll have to make them sometime for you." He explains softly. You nod, lips pressing against Virginia's cheek. Her little face is turned up towards the ceiling, mouth hanging open as she fights sleep. You sigh, 

"I uhh, I took a shower, put her in that little bouncy thing just outside the shower and she got fussy cause it was hot in the bathroom. So I took her out of her onesie and was holding her and I just... her skin on mine felt amazing. Like yours does. And I miss her. I miss..." Sam can see the tears in your eyes now, "I miss my baby bump and being in the hospital smelling that newborn smell and all that." You tell him. He nods, 

"Its the postpartum peach. You know it'll pass and you'll have so much fun with her when she's older. Plus... the older she gets, the closer we are to havin another one. More of that newborn smell." He reasons. The look you throw him over your shoulder makes him swallow, 

"Alright... yeah, still traumatized from her birth, got it but... you don't have to be so upset. She's still little and perfect... both my girls are, and for the next... what, year, that won't change. She'll get nice and chunky and when she changes, we'll so be ready for it. She'll get giggly and fun and you'll love it. I know you will babe." He reassures. You nod, 

"I know I just can't help it. It feels like someone else is controlling my life, my emotions. I'm sorry." 

"You don't have to apologize Y/N. Your body, your mind are going through a lot of changes. You're maturing and all that. I'm not upset about it. The crying, from you or her doesn't bother me. At least there's some need for me." He half jokes. You smile, looking down at your baby girl. He sighs, 

"I'm really likin this naked thing with you though." He mutters, kissing your shoulder as he molds your hips in his hands. You hum, 

"Sometimes I'm just too lazy to get dressed, other times it's just too hot." You reason. Sam nods, 

"I like it." 

"Oh yeah?" He nods when you glance up at him, "Maybe you should join the party then. I wanna stare at her and she likes daddy's chest." He doesn't even need you to finish the before he's stripping from the grease and oil stained shirt and pants, leaving them in a pile on the floor as you sit at the edge of the bed. You scoot to your side, letting Sam lay down before you before you lay Virginia over his chest. He mumbles incoherently down at her, kissing the top of her head as he strokes down her back. He purrs which makes her whimper, the motion further lulling her to sleep. He glances over at you when you prop your head up on your hand, 

"You're a great father Sam. You've always been an awkward little bean but... when it comes to V, you do amazing." He chuckles softly, 

"Thanks Y/N/N. You two... mean the world." He admits, rubbing up and down your baby's back softly. You sigh, brushing his unruly curls aside, 

"I'm just glad that I don't have to cook. The food you make is excellent and you like doing it and baby loves it too." He laughs again, 

"And that's all that matters is making you both happy." He murmurs. There's a silence that permeates between you for a moment before you stand, finding the thin robe you wear all the time if it genuinely is too hot to wear anything else, 

"What was this... thing you were saying about orange cardamom biscuits?" You ask with a cock of your eyebrow. He smiles wide, tip of his tongue caught between his teeth, 

"I'm starting to think ALL you use me for is food." 

"I feed your little girl from my own body like eight times a day. The LEAST you could do is make bomb fucking food Holland." He hums after a moment, eyes averted from yours and to the little girl laid across his chest. He glances back up, 

"Can we just... have a little longer of this moment? Just a pretty little family before I'm whisked away to slave over a stove." He jokes. After a moment of staring at each other, you sigh, trying to fight your smile before you near the bed again, sitting at his side, 

"Fine Samuel. But only because you're pretty." You lean in to kiss his nose, kissing your baby girl's head just below his chin, "And you too little miss. I just hope you at least get something from me for all the pain and suffering I went through getting you here." Sam reaches up to tuck hair behind your ear, 

"You're a great mumma already. I have no doubt that she'll be witty and perfectly perfect. With a mum like you she'll always know she can never disappoint us with whatever decision or life choice she makes. You'll make sure of it and that's what matters. Raising a decent fucking human being." He says with such passion in his eyes you think you'll faint. You stare at him for another moment before sighing, 

"I love you more than anything on this earth Samuel Holland. Our little family is just perfect right now." You tell him. Leaning up to kiss you, he sighs, 

"Love my girls in all of their beautiful nudity. Love skin to skin." He murmurs. You lay your head against his shoulder, watching your girl sleep. Of course pregnancy and motherhood was difficult, but your fiancè made it so much better and your baby girl was everything and more for the both of you.

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