#i just genuinely want to start being mean to people and just be left alone for five fucking seconds

[lilgynt]

i really got to get better at saying no and just not doing things i don’t want to do. like i know abuse sexual and non literally beat that out of me but i am sick of my nos never being taken seriously and i never push beyond the initial no bc that IS me trying my best i just got to get into my cunt era

[neverendingford]

.

[nochepsicodelica]

Toji who leaves hickeys all over you so often that you have to push him away when you start looking like you fought an octopus.

"Toji, you know these aren't always gonna be so small. They're gonna end up looking like bruises. Just look at the ones you already left."

"Mhm," he hums, already leaving another one on your shoulder blade, releasing your skin with a wet smack of his lips. He rubs his spit into the mark like it's some sort of salve that'll make it last longer.

"I'm fine with these," you say, looking at all the one's he left on your chest and below. "but my neck... i'm running out of makeup, baby. I won't be able to cover them if you keep this up."

"Then don't." He would just love that. Despite how nonchalant he sounds about it, it's a highly recommended suggestion. He would genuinely love it if you walked around with his marks all over your neck. People will automatically know that you already have someone you get freaky with.

"I have to go to work sometime. I wouldn't be able to take having my neck stared at by everyone I talk to. No more neck hickeys."

He nears your neck, again. The second you say he can't put another mark on it, he spots a clear area and leans in, lightly pressing his lips against it.

"Tojiii," you whine, leaning forward, away from him. "Leave it alone."

"But, it's clear. It's lonely without being marked like the rest of your neck." He scoots forward again, putting his enormous hands on your waist to pull you close. "I'll be quick. Just-"

"Mm-mm. No," you interrupt, brushing his hands off of you.

"I might just die if you don't let me do this, ma."

"Really?" You raise your brows in disbelief.

"Really," he responds, so confidently.

You scoff. "You're so dramatic. You won't die if you don't get to suck on my neck."

"Who knows? I might spontaneously collapse because of it. Weirder, more unexplainable things have happened."

He's so dumb sometimes. Your hunk is absolutely ridiculous, and yet you find yourself weighing towards his point in this.

"Would marking up that blank space actually cure you?" You feel as silly as him for asking the question.

"Who's to say?"

You tilt your head and deadpan. "Right. I guess i'll take my chances and just keep the random patch of unmarked skin on my neck."

"Hey, that doesn't mean we can't try. Come on, now."

You groan and roll your eyes before making your way back to him. He cups your cheeks, smirking as he looks into your eyes, before turning your head to expose the blank area on your neck.

"It's a reaaally good spot, doll. I think i'm gonna make it."

You huff, unable to look at him because of the way your head is turned. You feel his tongue slide over your neck, the gesture transitioning to his lips kissing the area and then it feels sharp. His lips leave a stinging sensation with every second that they stay on you.

"Ow, fuck, you vampire. It feels like you're actually trying to suck the blood out of me." You wince. "Are you done?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm done." He admires his masterpiece and smirks with pride. You have an entire collar of hickeys that he put on you, and the newest one looks mean.

"You look pretty. Could eat you up, mama." He swipes at the new mark with his thumb, looking at the color that will remain on your skin for the next few days.

"I can tell. You already devoured me. You're insane. Just look at all of this," you say, running your hand over your kiss stained neck.

"I was just nibbling on you," he speaks, into your jaw, before smoothly laying you down, onto the bed. "Just wanted a little taste," he says, taking your hands in his and pinning them above your head. "Am I really insane for that?"

"Um..." you laugh, making your flustered state obvious. "Yes?"

"Damn." He gives you a long, deep kiss, that makes you forget what you were talking about. "You think i'm crazy?" You hum, and he does it again.

"Haven't you played with me enough? I feel like i'm some chew toy for you." You giggle, feeling his lips on your cheek, trailing towards your jaw.

He hums, dismissively. "Found more blank space."

[quinnylouhughesx43]

“He's been a bit of a jerk”

Summary: quinn suddenly ditches his childhood best friend on new years eve when they have spent every NYE together since they were 6. luke saves the night

Warnings: use of y/n and I think one or two uses of y/n/n, only brief mentions of quinn not actually active in fic but substantial to the plot, like has internal dialogue via italics, if I missed anything please let me know

Word Count: 1.8k

requested: yes - “luke pining after Quinn’s best friends and he finally gets the girl.”

Authors Note: edited as may 31, 2024 - if you read before May 31 the word count is now 800 more than it is was previously 🫣

part 2

On the frost-tipped grass, (Y/N) sat beneath a canopy of stars, her back propped against the rough bark of an old oak tree. A light dusting of snow had settled over the ground, transforming the world into a perfect winter wonderland. She shivered, not necessarily from the cold evening, but from the heart wrenching realization that tonight was supposed to go different. It was New Year's Eve, and every year since they were six, she and her childhood best friend, Quinn had celebrated together. But this year, he had up and ditched her last minute. Just like that. He gave her zero explanation and no apology. He had just vanished into the night with his middle brother, leaving her feeling more alone than ever. Which when he left for the NHL was pretty hard to top, yet he somehow managed to do it when he was only somewhere in the same town. The two barely get to see each other anymore as it is. He lives in Vancouver and she lives in Michigan. Quinn flies her out to a few games a season and of course she attends any Canucks vs Redwings games as well as Canucks vs Devils games. However the time the two have available with one another is so restricted at that time, she may as well be just another fan in the arena.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps crunching through the frosted snow. A warm blanket was draped over her shoulders, and a steaming cup of hot chocolate was pressed into her hands. She looked up, her eyes falling on her best friend’s youngest brother, Luke, as he joined her. She briefly looked over his features, his cheeks were already flushed from the growing colder night, but the smile he gave her was warm and genuine.

"Hey, (Y/N)," he whispered as if they were amongst a huge crowd of people and not alone in an empty yard. His voice still highly audible over the silence of the night. "I came out here for a few reasons but one being because I…” Luke’s words ran out into the night. His right hand pulling off his beanie then he was slipping his fingers through his messy curls. A tell tale sign he was nervous about whatever he was about to say. “I wanted to apologize for what Quinn did to you tonight. He had no right to leave you like that. I don’t know what is going on with him and what would make him decide to leave behind the one person who has been consistent for him that isn’t family. The one person in his life that still sees him as Quinn and not as big shot Quinn..” Luke shoved his beanie back on and sighed. He had been looking up at the night sky watching the night clouds move uncovering the stars. “He has been a bit of a jerk here lately, and I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to stop him."

(Y/N) smiled weakly at the rambling boy next to her. Her gaze slowly drifting back up to the now clear sky and where the stars were twinkling like Christmas lights. "It's fine, really. I mean, it stung a lot at first, but..." Her voice trailed off, and she shrugged halfheartedly. "I'm just glad you were here tonight." The butterflies in Luke’s stomach flapped back to life and were going insane at her last statement. “Who knows Lukey. Maybe we can start our own tradition together this New Year’s.” Luke was watching her body languagefor any signs of a joke before speaking up. “I wouldn’t mind. It would teach Quinn to ditch someone as special as you.” (Y/N) slightly smiled, still looking up at the stars. “Special? No. Just me Luke.” (Y/N) argued, Luke didn’t want to have the silly argument back and forth. He knew just how special she is. Given the chance he would show her too. After all, a girl like her deserves to be treated, loved, and respected the way she treats, loves, and respects everyone else. (Y/N) was the girl has sought after ever since Luke stopped thinking he was supposed to marry his mom when he was older. Luke shook his head and groaned at her words. “One day (Y/N/N). Just you wait, one day you’ll know just how special you truly are.” He tells her before they fell into another comfortable silent state. His words confidently spilled out. (Y/N) turned her head opposite from Luke so he couldn’t see the true smile she was wearing across her face because of him. She also hoped he couldn’t hear her heartbeat as a result of his words.

The silence stretched between them, as she snuggled further into the blanket, (y/n) suddenly became aware that Luke was only wearing a thin jacket as he shivered. She glanced over at him, her eyes meeting his. "Here," she said, pulling the blanket off from around her shoulders. "You can have this. It's getting kind of cold out here." Luke hesitated for a moment, debating on offering to share the blanket. "No, really. It's fine. I'm warm enough." She shot him a glare. “Luke Warren Hughes. I just saw you shiver.” Her tone, at best, was barely strict. He held eye contact waiting for her to continue, he could practically see the gears turning in her mind. “If you won’t take it for yourself, we will share it.” She says wrapping it around him and snuggling into his side. Luke was trying his best to calm the butterflies and his racing heart. While also fighting the mental battle on if he should shoot his shot at midnight.

(Y/N) is the girl I have wanted for years now. She is right here. Cuddling into my side, a couple moves and I could easily be her new year’s kiss. If she hates it? I just play it off as a friendly new year’s kiss. Her and Quinn have been each other’s midnight kiss before, I can play it off as if I’m filling his shoes if she questions me and she’s angry. I can do this. I can do this. I think I can do this?

As midnight was quickly approaching the air was thick with anticipation between the both of them and more people were gathering outside.

The countdowns echoed throughout the night, each one louder than the last.

Fireworks lit up the sky, casting a multitude of colors over everyone. The fireworks also casting iridescent colors across the blanket of snow on the ground. Making a beautiful picturesque scene.

Luke decided it was definitely now or never. He may not have done it 12am but right now under the colorful display of the many fireworks was perfect. He smiled down at (Y/N), feeling a warmth spread through his chest, for the first time the butterflies in his stomach calmed. He leaned in, his breath fanning her cheek. "Happy New Year, (Y/n)." She felt his lips brush against her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. That is when he froze up. Her reaction to his lips barely touching her sent his heart racing. He was scared she was going to send him flying into the snow. Her best friend’s baby brother’s lips just touched her. But she didn’t move. She was waiting? Luke quickly finished his well wishes to her before she snapped out of it, "I hope this year brings you everything you wish for." Her breath caught in her throat as he pulled back, their gazes locked.

“Do it Luke. Her eyes are basically screaming, begging for you to.” why do you have to be in my head now jack dear god please shut up.

In a seconds time he was leaning back in, his left hand making its way softly to the back of her head. His fingers interlacing in her hair. (Y/N)’s breaths were slow and deep awaiting Luke’s next move. “Tell me if this isn’t something you want.” Luke swallows down the anxiety he was feeling. Mentally silencing the jack he hears in his head telling him to go for it. “Because once I do this once.. I’m going to want to do this again and again. Everyday for the next foreseeable future.” Luke’s voice was trembling in want, desire, need. All of his feelings rushing to the forefront of his mind. “Shut up and kiss me Luke.” (Y/N) sighed grasping his face pulling him to her.

As their lips touched, the grand finale of the fireworks show was set off. The energy of the grand finale matching the energy sparking off the two of them. Luke and (y/n)’s kiss was hot enough to melt the snow underneath them. The way their mouths moved in perfect harmony. The small nips Luke made against her bottom lip as he pulled away. It left them both wanting more, needing more.

“Remind me to thank my brother for being an ass.” Luke mumbles against her lips before getting lost in another languid kiss. “Lukey let’s go home. It’s the new year, I’m cold and I also want to thank Quinn, because now I know who the better kisser is...well I’ve not kissed Jack.” She pauses and makes a playful gagging noise. “And because it finally got you to make a move.” Luke’s face went more red than it already was where it was tinged from the cold. “That..what?” He was baffled by her admittance . “I had my assumptions. I’m just happy I wasn’t wrong. Now let’s goooo. I wanna go get in bed and get warm.” (Y/N) sent a wink his way.

She was hinting towards cuddling. But with how fast Luke was grabbing up the blankets that they had been sitting on and were wrapped up in, before grabbing her hand and heading to the car…She is pretty sure his mind went a different direction.

“Quinn now owes me $10, he said you didn’t like me.” (Y/N) says once they were in the car and headed down the road. “You two had a bet on if I had a crush on you or not?” Luke laughed while asking. “No we had a bet on if you even liked me as a person. Because you avoided me. He’s going to be so shocked to know that you like-like me.” She clarifies with a giggle when she says ‘like-like’. Luke rolls his eyes at the thought of his older brother being naive enough to believe he didn’t like his best friend. “So back to what you said earlier tonight…Same thing and same place next new year’s?” Luke asks her. She nods with a smile. “New tradition, with you. Starting this year.” (Y/N) confirms with a nod. “Only maybe we hang out inside until right before midnight.” She adds grabbing for Luke’s hand to wrap both of her freezing ones around. The two sat in a comfortable silence stealing quick glances, with smiles plastered across their faces, and glimmers in their eyes the rest of the way to the Hughes home.

[cosmosis]

MOVED TO @seratopia

miguel o’hara x reader (fluff) - touchy touchy

modern ceo au! thinking about how miguel touches you so often around the office that a random guy decides to do something about it

You and Miguel don’t share a workplace. He’d end up being your boss anyway, and as much as you love spending time with him, it’s not good to have a partner that also gives you your paycheck. (Plus, distance can equal longing.)

Miguel constantly insist that you stay at home, and that he’d provide you with everything you could ask for but... feminism???( /j ) You have your own job conveniently down the street from Miguel’s office; it’s more of a hobby than it really is a job, but it gets you money.

The whole building knows you as “Miguel’s Wife”; you visit often. Sometimes your visits are a surprise, others it’s when you have nothing to do so you just hang by Miguel all day. You’re blessed with free food from the cafeteria, plus the gym. It’s fun to watch Miguel work out. 

Though, today was... funny.

Whenever Miguel thinks you guys are alone, he’s touchy. However, to Miguel, “alone” is just being in a room with less than 6 people in it. So, needless to say, his employees have seen things. 

You’re just so pretty, so cute to him, he can’t help but just worm his way over to you whenever in sight. 

Things along the lines of kisses, waist grabbing, thigh grabbing, hugs, back hugs, and even ass-slapping are a common sight to see when you’re around the office. Miguel truly, genuinely believes that he’s being sly, but that’s probably because everyone’s too scared/nice to say anything about it. Perks of being a CEO.

No one really tells the new recruits about it though, it’s just a you-see-it-and-get-used-to-it type of thing. 

So imagine your surprise when someone in the office pulls you aside one day and asks if Miguel is sexually assaulting you. 

Miguel’s been lingering his hands all over you today in particular, boldly sliding his big hand down towards your ass. You elbow him a little when he gets too close though, especially around a few people. 

“¿Por favor, querida?“ He whines, slithering his hand back onto you. 

“Oh my gosh, Miguel, no. Wait until we’re out of work.“

All is well, but Miguel has to tend to a few things, so you take it upon yourself to take a break at the cafeteria. Might as well bring him a drink while you’re at it.

Halfway through your walk there, some guy you’ve seen around taps on your shoulder and pulls you aside. He’s relatively young, has this assertive look to him. Among the quirky pins on his shirt pocket, you find an ID card labeled “INTERN.”

The worry on his own face makes you a little anxious. 

“Ma’am, are you okay?“ He asks, meeting his eyes with yours. He looks serious, peering from left to right as if a secret was being exchanged. 

“Uh- yeah, what do you mean?“

His voice is low, almost a whisper. “Girl, I’ve seen Miguel grope you... do you want me to call the police? I have a video right here as pr-“

A  gust of relief washes over you, and you almost start to laugh. You watch as the guy starts to pull up his phone, before you stop him. 

“Oh, no no no, it’s okay!“ You exclaim. “Miguel’s my husband, he’s just clingy!“

The man raises an eyebrow, concern lacing his voice. “You aren’t just saying that, right? Like, you’re really okay?”

“Yes, don’t worry. If he was actually bothering me, then I’d tell him.“ You chuckle, just to ease up the serious air a little bit. 

“Ah, well if you say so... If anything happens, just let me know.“ He says. 

“Yeah, thank you for the concern, though.“ You smile, and he smiles back, walking away around the corner where you assume he came from. 

With a little laugh, you continue your walk towards the cafeteria, thinking deeply about the interaction. It might be time for you to tell Miguel to stop touching you often around the office, as much as you enjoy it. He’d hate despise it though. 

If it weren’t for you being around so often, work life might not be as pleasant for his employees. You don’t think Miguel truly notices, but he starts getting huffy and puffy when you aren’t around to see him; people get a little more scared of him when he has this scowl on his face. 

“Who was that?“

You violently flinch, yelping out loud. In one swift motion, you swerve around, your heartbeat only easing down when you realize it’s just Miguel. 

“Miguel, honey, you gotta stop scaring me.“

“...Sorry. Who was that?“ He asks, obvious curiosity in his voice. Almost like it was muscle memory, he slips both hands onto your sides, reminding you of the topic at hand. (literally lmao)

“Just some guy... you know what he asked me, though?“

“If it was on a date he’s getting fired.“ Miguel promises darkly, squeezing at the fat of your sides. 

“No, Miguel. He asked if you were assaulting me. Even asked me if he wanted me to call the police.“

“Assaulting?“

“Yeah, because you keep on doing things like this-“ You place your hands on his. “- to me every time I visit!“

Like a guilty puppy, Miguel pouts to the side, reluctantly slipping his hands away from you. It takes you everything not to laugh at him as he grumbles to himself, that signature scowl building onto his face. 

“It’s fine, Miguel. You can still touch me. Just tone it down a bit when we’re around people, yeah?“

Miguel nods, slowly inching his fingers towards your hands. “Yeah. M’sorry.”

“Miguel, it’s fine. It’s not like I hate it, it might just be uncomfortable for your employees.“

Miguel sighs, dipping down his head to rest on your shoulder. He catches a whiff of your body wash, sweet and comforting. You giggle, a sound that Miguel would kill to hear for everyday of his life. You slide your own hands over onto his broad back, tracing your fingers against the muscle through his shirt. 

“I just... I think I love you too much.“ He mumbles, and your ears almost strain to hear it. 

“Awh, you know I love you too.“ You sweetly reply, squeezing him into a tight hug. He’s so darling, compressing you tight against him. 

“Just let me have this, and I’ll leave you be for a bit, hm?“ Miguel mutters into your ear, indulgently smoothing his big hands over your little back. Chills run up your spine when he presses a smooch to your ear. 

“Yeah, we’ll see how long that’ll last...“ You chuckle, letting him do what he wants for the time being. 

It takes Miguel longer than he really should to let you go, adoration clearly written on his face as he detaches his arms from you. 

“You wanna grab coffee with me before you have to go back?“ You ask, beaming at Miguel with a natural smile. 

Miguel doesn’t know what to do with himself. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

You break off into a walk through the hallway, and Miguel has to remind himself every minute or so to keep his hands off. 

. . .

It didn’t work. 

Already in line for coffee, Miguel’s chin rests on top of your head, acting as if the previous conversation was entirely wiped clean from his memory. 

You sigh, knowingly speaking to the barista as if you didn’t have a 6′9 CEO strapped to your back like a koala. 

“Baby, what did we say?“

“Sorry...“

miguel is 6′9 because i said so and because of this tiktok

© 𝒄𝒐𝒔𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒔.

[allllium]

Secret

~ This took so much longer than I wanted it to, yay writers block right? 😭

~ Angst, Fluff at end, WC:2,737

~Remus is keeping a secret

Your boyfriend is cheating on you. That's the only explanation for the way he's acting. Every month he disappears, not just for an hour or two, but full days. Most of the time he disappears for about two to three days. And even if he doesn't disappear, he acts super weird around you.

You've tried to ask James and Sirius about it, but of course they never say anything. They are loyal to bone, which usually you respect but now it's just frustrating. You thought you were a part of the group, clearly you were wrong.

What are you supposed to do? You've already tried his friends, and spent months obsessing over behavior. Analyzing every little thing he does for you and other people, trying to find out who Remus would rather be with than you. You can't keep feeling like this.

You're in the library, trying and failing to focius on your book. Usually Remus would be here with you, but he's not. You haven't seen him since yesterday morning, when he all but pushed you out of his dorm room.

At first this whole thing was frustrating, and confusing, but now you feel rejected, a feeling your boyfriend should never give you. At first you raked your mind for any other reason why Remus would act like this. You went through things like illness, something about his friends, family maybe, you even thought it might have something to do with school work, but none of those explain why he's nowhere to be seen.

So now here you are. On the verge of tears while sitting in the library, wishing he would just come clean about what he's doing. At least then it would be easier to break up with him. But what can you do without proof, left with nothing but a bad feeling.

“What's wrong, sweetheart?” You are quickly pulled from your thoughts by James’s voice coming from behind you. He's always been incredibly sweet to you, mostly because he thought it would help convince Lily to go out with him, but you also know he's just a naturally good person.

“Fine, Jamie.” You give him the best smile you can muster, obviously he sees right through it. He slings his arm around your shoulder and plops down in the seat next to you.

“What's on your mind?” He seems genuinely concerned but you don't believe it. Real friends tell friends when they're being cheated on. You wish. In real life, however, they always stay loyal to whoever came first. You love that Remus has such great support when he needs it but what about you?

“It's nothing, doesn't matter.” You try your best to reassure him.

“No, something is clearly wrong. How can I help?”

“It's nothing, James, just drop it. Please.” He knows you're serious when you use his real name, usually resorting to some stupid nickname.

“Yeah, okay. If you need anything just let me know.” You only nod as he turns to leave. You take a big breath when you're alone again.

You're honestly trying not to panic. You love Remus, a lot. But you can't be with a cheater, you just can't. And if you break up with him then you lose all your friends, because of course, they were his friends first. Which means you have to start over, all alone. Yeah, no reason to panic.

Over the next few days you don't see Remus. Not because of him, this time it's you trying to disappear. This is what happens, he ignores you for a few days then comes back all clingy as if nothing happened. The first couple times you tried to ask about it but you never got a straight answer. He told you he was busy with his friends or with school, which was clearly a lie, so eventually you stopped asking.

You've had to change your daily routine a lot just to avoid him. Instead of going to his dorm for bed, you go to your own. You're not eating in the dining hall, because he would sit with you. You're sitting away from him in class and turning the other way when you see him in the halls. Apparently your avoidance has been so obvious, McGonagall stopped him after a class to ask what happened. You didn't stay long enough to overhear his answer.

“Oh, Angel!” You hear your boyfriend’s voice call for you in the hallway, you do nothing but walk faster, knowing you won't be able to keep it together long enough to face him right now. “I know you heard me.” His voice is much closer as he grabs your shoulder to stop you. He takes the books out of your hand and holds them behind his back.

“What do you want, Remus?” You ask him, not turning around.

“I want to know why my girlfriend has been ignoring me for days now?”

You no longer feel sad when you finally turn and look at him, the irony of his statement filling you with sudden frustration and anger, “Oh really? What about you Remus? You ignore me for days every month and I still don't have an answer for that!”

He stays silent, analyzing your expression before continuing, “It's different,” is all he says.

“How Remus? I would love for you to explain how exactly this is different.”

“It just is!”

“You know what, I don't even care. Come find me when you can explain, otherwise don't bother.” You feel like you're going to collapse as you walk away, leaving him in the hall, with your books in his hand.

You didn't think it would be this hard. Yet after a few more days have passed it seems Remus took the ‘don't bother’ part of your speech more seriously than any other.

You honestly thought he would at least try to give you any kind of explanation. Even if it is a lie.

James and Sirius haven't talked to you either. Remus obviously told them about what you said, they don't want to be friends with you if you aren't with Remus.

Over the last few days, you've spent a lot more time with Lily and the rest of the girls.

“So, you wanna tell me what happened?” Lily asks you. You're sitting with her in her dorm with Mary and Pandora.

“I don't know what to say.” You shrug. What are you supposed to say? You don't want to tell her Remus is probably cheating on you, on the very off chance he isn't. And you don't want to admit how much you miss being around him.

“What did you guys fight about?” Mary pipes up. At this point the whole school has noticed the behavior between the two of you. Everyone has been talking about it, spreading theories as to why such a happy couple has been acting like this.

“It wasn't a fight,” You begin to explain to the girls, “I told him unless he can tell me why he keeps disappearing I don't wanna talk to him.”

You don't miss the look Lily and Pandora exchange. Mary focuses her gaze onto the floor, none of them look at you as Pandora speaks up this time.

“I mean he probably has a good reason.” She tries to offer.

“And you all know, don't you?” Great, you're officially the only one who doesn't know this secret your boyfriend is keeping.

“It's not what you think.” Lily tells you softly.

“Then why won't he tell me?”

“I don't know,” Lily tells you again, “Maybe you should talk to him.”

“I tried that, but it didn't work.”

“Then don't ask him to talk, tell him you're not happy. I promise he's not trying to hurt you.”

“And how do you know? He apparently told everyone but me Lily, what am I supposed to think?”

No one responds.

“I don't know what to do.” Remus tells his friends, running his hands over his face in despair.

“Well, I vote you stop being a dumbass but we know that won't happen.” Sirius offers him. The four of them haven't left their dorm all day, trying to convince Remus he needs to be honest with you. Actually Peter and Sirius have been trying to convince him, James hasn't talked to him all day. He knows why you were upset in the library and isn't trying to hide his irritation, however, he doesn't want to say something to hurt Remus. So he stays quiet.

“I agree. What's the worst that can happen?” Peter shrugs, you'd think Remus would listen to him considering he's the one in the longest lasting relationship.

“Uh, she could leave me!” He practically shouts, rolling his eyes at the look shared between Sirius and Peter.

“Oh you mean like what she wants to do now?” Remus doesn't even notice who says it, too distracted by the ice running through his veins.

“You really think she'll want to break up over this?” His voice is barely a whisper, the slight heartbreak clear in his tone.

“This is one of the biggest parts of your life and you haven't told her. She knows you've been lying about it and you haven't talked to her once since she said “don't bother.” In my opinion all you're doing is showing her you don't care.” Peter tries his best to explain this gently to Remus. Not wanting to hurt him but knowing Remus won't actually understand till he knows how you feel about it.

“I need to tell her. I just- I don't want her to leave me because of it.”

James lets out an exasperated sigh at Remus's words. “She's not going to leave you for being a werewolf, she loves you just as much as you love her. If she breaks up with you it's because of how long you've kept this a secret.

Another week goes by with no word for Remus. You're started to give up hope that he'll even try to talk to you again. Unless to finally end this relationship. Thinking about either of these options hurt your heart, not wanting this to end or go on.

“It's not until you're leaving the dining hall after dinner that you're pulled into an empty classroom. You can tell by the touch on your wrist that it's him.

“What do you want, Remus?” You immediately ask. You try to keep your face as straight as possible, not wanting him to see how upset you really are.

“I need to explain.”

“Seriously? Now?”

“Can I please just tell you what's going on? You can yell or insult me all you want afterwards, I just need you to know.” He lets go of your wrist but refuses to look away from your face.

You give a small nod in agreement but it's all he needs to jump right into what he wants to say, you have the feeling this whole plan was practiced beforehand.

“I was not trying to hurt you. I love you a lot. More than I have ever loved anything before and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you because I'm not normal. I figured if there were something wrong with who I am, I can change, I can fix that but I can't fix something I have no control over and I felt like I would die if I lost you because of it.”

“Because of what?” Is all you ask.

He takes a deep breath before finally explaining, “I'm a werewolf.”

“Oh screw you.” You roll your eyes and quickly walk out of the classroom.

Remus doesn't follow you out. He stays standing in the empty room for a few minutes, confused about the interaction that just took place.

He comes to your shared class almost halfway through and doesn't look at you until it's over.

“Angel, please talk to me.” Remus begs, following out of the classroom. You shake your head and begin to speed up your walk. He grabs your wrist and pulls you into him, “Baby please.”

“What do you want, Remus? Here to lie to me more.” You turn around to confront him.

“I'm not lying about being a werewolf.” He defends, eyes widening in bewilderment.

“That's not what I'm mad about.” Your tone grows more angry as you talk. “We've been dating for how long now and you don't tell me your biggest secret? You've had me panicking every fucking month wondering where you where and who you were with. All because you what? Can't trust me with this big secret?”

Remus visible winces as your voice grows louder. “Please don't be so loud.”

“Oh yeah! Don't trust me not spill anything!”

“That's not what I meant, love. Can we just talk about this, somewhere private.”

“So what? So you can make up some lame excuses?” You turn again and try to leave.

“No angel, that's not why I didn't tell you.”

You pause. As much as you want to keep walking you love him. Deep inside you know exactly why he didn't tell you but you don't think you can bear to hear him say it. You know it's not because of you but you feel like you failed. You feel as if you failed to make him know just how much you love him, just how worth it he is. You want nothing more than for him to be happy and if he hasn't told you about his big secret clearly he's happy enough with you.

“It has nothing to do with you, I promise. I wanted to tell you so many times, so much more than you know but whenever I tried I couldn't. My mouth wouldn't open as much as I tried. I was terrified that you would leave, I know you never would, okay, I know. But the thought that you could stopped me, it stops me from doing many things.”

“Why?” You ask, tears arriving in your eye line.

“Because I can't live without you. I know how cheesy that sounds but it's true. All my life I've dealt with the consequences of being a werewolf even from people that don't know. You have helped me be myself more than anyone ever has and that's enough. I can't bear the thought of you leaving let alone the thought of knowing I pushed you away. Knowing this pushed you away and it wasn't something I could stop because if I could I would. I know it makes things harder for you. I hear how people talk about you because of my scars and how awkward I am and you don't deserve that, you've made me think that maybe I don't deserve it either. I can't lose you. I can't let this push you away because without you I go back to who I used to be. And now that you've shown me who I really am, I can't go back to being him.”

You listen to his words silently, trying your best not to let the tears fall. He doesn't deserve to feel this way and hearing him admit that makes you want to cry with happiness for him, for yourself in succeeding to make him feel as loved as he is. You want to tell him this but he continues.

“I love you, angel. And I'm so sorry I couldn't get myself to tell you before. I am so sorry I made you worry and made other people lie for me. I don't know what to say except for that. I don't know how I can make this better.”

“You already did, Rem.” This time you turn to face him, seeing the tears on his face break your heart even more. “I mean I can't really fault you for your mouth sabotaging you.”

A small smile blooms on his face. “How dare it.”

“I know what it's like to be that anxiety. I thought you were cheating on me.”

“I would never!” He looks genuinely offended at your words.

“I know baby, but there's still that fear.”

“I'm really sorry.” He pulls you in for a hug.

“I know, Rem. I wish I could've helped you more.”

“Dove, you've already done more than enough, I love you.”

“I love you too. But if I find out you're keeping something else I'll kill you as you sleep.”

You feel Remus grin into the crook of your neck.

[dollfacefantasy]

Video Games

pairing: leon kennedy x fem!reader

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, oral (f receiving)

summary: you're playing video games when leon feels a little needy

word count: 1.9k

a/n: hi everyone, i'm back with another piece. thank you so so much to everyone who supported my last post (especially if you reblogged and/or left a comment, hugging you through the screen rn). And if you followed me, hi! happy to have you here :) it means a lot to me, and i hope people find some enjoyment in this post as well. this post has nothing to do with the song video games, but i love lana and wanted to use that picture so idgaf. also, all the games mentioned are ones i really loved when i was younger. i'd love to hear some you guys like if you want to share. again, feedback, likes, follows, and reblogs are appreciated! <3

You were so excited when your parents called you and told you they were bringing by your old Playstation 2 today. They were cleaning out the garage and found the dusty, old box that contained the system and all your favorite games from when you were young. Leon was sitting on the couch, watching you wander around as you spoke into the phone. He had returned from a difficult mission recently and your joyful presence alone made everything seem brighter. He smiled at the ways your eyes lit up when you laughed and recalled old memories. He’d gently reach out and stroke your hip when you’d walk past the sofa, lost in your conversation.

About an hour later, you were rushing out the front door to retrieve your box of nostalgia. Leon trailed behind with his eyes full of love for you. He takes the box of stuff as you briefly talk to your mom and thank her for making the stop. He carries the box back into the house for you. It wasn’t that heavy. You definitely could have done it yourself, but he couldn’t get enough of how that sweet smile would spread across your face when you said thank you and gave him a big kiss on the cheek.

The two of you set up the console together in your living room. His strong arms hold the tv at an awkward angle as you snake behind it to plug in the cords in all the different ports. His eyes can’t help but run along your body. He can’t help but notice how your shorts ride up as you bend over or how your back arches while you strain to reach the back of the screen. He’s snapped out of his lustful daze when he hears you say “Got it!” and pull back from behind the tv. He puts the monitor back in place and you hug him from behind, pressing soft kisses to his back while thanking him again for his help.

“It’s nothing, Baby,” he says softly, turning to face you and kissing the top of your head.

You smile up at him before eagerly pulling him to sit on the couch with you. You rifle through your box of old games, pulling out your beaten-up copies of Sly Cooper and Silent Hill. Your eyes sparkle with excitement as you gush to him about your favorite parts and all the fun you used to have playing them with your friends. His heart aches with the love he feels just from hearing you speak with such passion.

“Why don’t you show me some?” he suggests as you continue looking through the box on your lap.

“You want to watch me play video games?” you ask as if it’s the nicest thing you’ve ever heard. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to be bored.”

He laughs slightly like even the idea of being bored while spending time with you was ridiculous. “C’mon, you’re all excited over this stuff, and you’re not gonna play?” he asks, “I’ll be fine. Maybe you can teach me your tricks.”

“Yeah, I’m a real pro,” you joke sarcastically, but your smile remains genuine. You decide on playing Tomb Raider and hop up to put the game in. Again, Leon can’t help how his eyes are drawn to the fabric of your bottoms tightening around your ass as you squat to insert the game. You return to your seat and get comfy against his side with his arms around your shoulder.

You start playing, your smile widening as you hear the familiar music and begin remembering the controls like the last time you played was only yesterday. Leon watches the screen as much as he can, but his real focus is on you. The way your fingers frantically mash at the buttons while fighting an enemy, how you tense and press against him when you think you’re going to die, your half-assed justifications for mistakes you make, blaming the age of the controllers. He loved you so much that his limbs nearly trembled with want for you. Everything about you drove him wild. You smelled so good and your body was so warm nestled against his.

He keeps watching you, and it’s becoming overwhelming, his desire for you. He leans his head down, brushing your hair away, and starts gently kissing the open expanse of your neck. You bite your lip as a knowing smirk rises on your face.

“I knew you’d get bored,” you tease, tilting your head a little to give him more room. He takes the invitation and moves his lips with more intent. 

“I’m not bored. I just need to feel you,” he defends between kisses, “You keep playing.” He adjusts on the couch so he’s lower and has a better angle on your neck. His arm that isn’t around you caresses your stomach slowly.

You try to focus on your game, but it’s difficult when you have his hands and lips coasting over you, his hot breath on your neck. Your own breathing hitches when his hand on your stomach slides up to fondle your tits. Your fingers start feeling useless on the controller, fumbling between buttons as you try to continue playing. His teeth scrape along your neck. It’s the last thing you can take before you make too many mistakes and die. The menu comes up to reload the game and your head falls back against the cushion.

“Leon,” you whine playfully, “You’re making me die.”

“‘M Sorry, Baby,” he mumbles, “Just can’t get enough of you.” He continues kneading your breasts and showering your neck with kisses as you try to survive the level you’re playing. Heat spreads through your body and slick begins collecting between your thighs causing you to squirm a bit. Leon smirks against your skin, sensing the effect he has on you.

He kisses your neck a few more times before he moves his mouth down your arm while easing himself onto the floor. He presses a final tender kiss to your hand gripping the controller before settling on his knees between your legs. You know what’s coming, and it causes your cheeks to tint a soft red. The sight only excites Leon more. His fingers tuck beneath the waistband of your shorts and slip them down. He lifts your lush thighs to rest on his shoulders and pulls you closer so that you're slouching against the cushions.

“Leon, I’m gonna have to start all over again,” you say, your voice softer from your arousal. You try to seem focused, but your attention to the game is waning with each of his touches.

He works his mouth along the smooth skin of your inner thighs before dragging his nose along the cloth covering your center, inhaling you. The scent sends his blood rushing to his cock. He lays a kiss to the fabric as he hums in response. “I’ll make it up to you, Sweetheart. Promise.”

He hooks his finger around your panties and pulls them off. You feel his breath against your wet cunt, the sensation sending a chill through you. You take your lip between your teeth again while keeping your eyes on the television. In your peripheral vision, you can see him staring into you, gazing at you like you’re a work of art. He starts rubbing his thumb up and down your folds slowly, not with enough pressure to give you real pleasure, just the right amount to tease.

“You’re fucking soaked, Angel. Gotta have a taste,” he murmurs before swiping his tongue through your pussy. You let out a short moan at the feeling. Leon wraps his arms around your thighs, keeping you in place as he starts to make out with your cunt. His tongue flattening and dragging against your dripping core, lapping up every drop of you he can.

Your eyes roll back and your fingers spasm on the controller before you put it to the side and grab Leon’s hair. He groans as you tug him closer, his lips wrapping around your clit and sucking. You whimper and buck against his face. He knows all your attention is on him now. Knowing he made you feel so good that you had to focus on him had his pants feeling even tighter. He looks up at you, his eyes clouded with lust and your slick coating his lips. 

“Taste so sweet, Baby,” he breathes, thumbing your clit as he speaks, “Could do this for hours if you let me. Have your pretty pussy cumming over and over.” 

He buries his face back into your cunt and fucks his tongue into you. You gasp and writhe above him. Your head pushes back against the couch cushions. Your thighs start to squeeze around his head, and he loves it. He pushes even deeper, nose bumping your clit as he works. You whine and your hands fly up to cover your face as your cheeks feel hot.

He gives your thigh a quick pinch and pulls back. “No hiding, sweet girl. Wanna see and hear everything you give me.”

You slide your hands down and off of your face. Before you can even think of a response, his tongue is back to flicking against you. You moan a bit louder and your eyes flutter as the band of heat in your belly starts to tighten. Your thighs quiver, and Leon’s grip on you gets stronger as your hips try to shift.

Your chest heaves with your heavy breathing as your hands press into the couch cushions. His eyes are fixed on your face, savoring every sweet noise and expression. Your body shakes harder and you know the finish is near. You look down into his eyes, and the sight of his face buried between your thighs with that intense gaze trained on you almost makes you cum on the spot.

“Fuck, Leon. I’m gonna cum. Can’t hold on,” you whimper, your eyes squeezing shut as your voice breaks into moans.

“Look at me, Baby. Let me see those gorgeous eyes while you explode,” he says before working his tongue with even more dedication. You give him what he wants, looking into his eyes as you reach the peak. You cry out and claw at the couch cushions as you release. Your hips sputter against his face and your thighs clamp around his head. Your eyes stay locked on his, letting him see how he unravels you. You hear him groaning and feel his body rolling a bit as he devours you through your orgasm.

He keeps lapping at your folds as you come down, getting a final taste before he pulls away. He plants one last kiss on your clit before rising up and leaning down to kiss your lips sweetly. You kiss back and softly moan as you taste yourself on his lips. You grab his wrist as you pull back. “Need me to return the favor?’ you say and give him another kiss.

“No, Honey. I’m satisfied, trust me,” he hums and kisses back. You notice the dark spot forming on his pants and your blush returns. The thought that he could feel such pleasure simply from pleasuring you made your stomach flutter. He pulls back from your lips and strokes your bottom lip with his thumb, admiring your features. “I’m gonna change my pants, and then you can show me some more of your game. If you want to,” he says.

You glance back at the tv which had been displaying the reload menu for a while at this point. You give him that smile that he loved so much and nod.

[lixiepixiedust]

hurt people hurt people

pairing — idolbf!felix x f!reader; established relationship

word count — 3.4k words

warnings — she/her reader, hurt/comfort, argument between reader and felix, angst, fluff, happy ending, cursing, felix just wants to hold someone again, members are kind of mean but i promise it's not targeted against them :(

summary — after his experiences, he learnt one thing. they'll only like him better if he's not himself. he thought you were one of them so he acted different around you too, but really, he just ended up hurting you how he was hurt.

Felix has always been known to be the most cuddly member in Stray Kids. Taking the opportunity whenever he could, he would leap onto his fellow members, catching them off guard while they were busy with something. However, it was no secret that, more often than not, these moments were mostly for his own comfort.

Despite his genuine intentions, there were times when some of his members found it hard to reciprocate the clinginess. During down times, they preferred to be alone to gather their thoughts, yet Felix always found comfort in hugs to help.

"You've got to ease up a bit, Felix. Clinging to people like glue is starting to become annoying," one of his members once told him.

After this conversation, it seemed like the rest of the members started gaining the confidence to express their feelings about Felix's behaviour, resulting them to distance themselves whenever he tried to initiate contact. Although Felix understood their perspective, it still stung. All the times they hugged him back or told him he made them feel better with his cuddles. It was like everything was insincere. 

Felix decided to change. He never did anything more than a high five, and during late-night drives from shows, he tried his best not to fall asleep on his members to avoid annoying them. Gradually, he noticed a change in his members' behaviour—they began liking him more, including him in conversations without the need for him to include himself.

Feeling a sense of inclusion, Felix decided that was how it should stay. He realized that keeping it this way could make people like him more. And just like that, he became the least cuddly member.

When you came into his life, he was met with an exact copy of his old self. Whenever he was on a call or doing work, you always found the need to pounce onto him and nestle yourself into him. He has gotten used to not having to be affectionate his people so it was weird to see someone who actually initiated contact first for once. This led him to being slightly distant from you.

"Felix!" you called from the bathroom.

"Yea? You okay?" he responded from the bedroom nearby.

"Could you grab me a towel?" you requested.

You heard him rise from the bed, making his way to the closet for a bath towel. As he approached, you shivered in the cold air, a stark contrast to the warm shower you had just enjoyed. He extended the towel toward you, his attention fully focused on the phone in his hand.

"Thanks, Lix," you said, offering a smile.

"Yeah," he replied, still glancing away.

After Felix headed to the room first, claiming his usual spot on the bed, you decided to indulge in your nighttime skincare routine. The soft glow from the bathroom light illuminated your face as you moisturized, then moved to the dresser to brush your hair. With your hair now smooth and untangled, you turned off the bathroom light and left the bathroom.

As you made your way to the bed, you noticed Felix lying there, scrolling through his phone. Quietly, you leaned over and switched off the bedside lamp, plunging the room into darkness. Felix, still buried in his phone, didn't notice your approach until you leaped onto the bed and sprawled out beside him. You propped yourself up on your elbow, peeking at his screen with a mischievous glint in your eye.

"Whatcha doin'?" you inquired, your voice playful.

Felix, startled by your sudden intrusion, glanced at you and smiled. "Just some stuff for work. What's up?"

You scooted closer, ignoring the amused yet puzzled look he gave you. "Nothing much. Just wondering why my boyfriend is so engrossed in his phone when he has someone as interesting as me right here."

"You're always interesting, Y/n. I just got caught up in some messages."

You grinned, appreciating his response. "Fair enough. But you know, you can put that down for a while." With that, you snatched his phone, earning a gasp from Felix.

"Hey!" He took it back from you.

You chuckled and leaned in, resting your head on his shoulder. "I just did my skincare, and my skin is feeling so soft. Wanna feel?"

Felix raised an eyebrow, fake disgust on his face. "Do I?" he repeated, his tone teasing.

You reached for his hand and guided it to your cheek. "Feel it. I used that fancy moisturizer you got me."

Felix hesitated for a moment, then ran his fingers over your skin. "Hmm, not bad," he admitted, a faint smile playing on his lips.

Despite Felix's initial engagement in your conversation, you felt him subtly shifting his attention back to his phone. However, this time, instead of feeling a sense of rejection, you decided to playfully address it.

"Alright, Mr. Busy, I see how it is," you rolled your eyes.

Felix looked up, a sheepish smile on his face. "Sorry, babe. Emails keep coming in."

You rolled your eyes playfully. "Yeah, yeah. I know your phone is practically glued to your hand. Do you even love me anymore?" you said dramatically.

"Of course I love you." His eyes swiftly looked at you then back at his phone.

You grinned, satisfied with his response. "Good, because I happen to love you too, even if you always act like your scared of me or something whenever I touch you."

Felix's expression shifted slightly, and you couldn't help but notice a hint of hurt in his eyes as they slowly gazed at you. It dawned on you that your playful remark might have struck a chord. You quickly backtracked, realizing that your attempt at humor might have unintentionally crossed a line.

"Well, not that it's bad or anything" you spoke quickly.

The room fell into an awkward silence, and you could feel the tension lingering in the air. Desperate to diffuse the situation, you attempted to switch the topic, rambling on about the colors gold and silver and how they complemented Felix's style.

You reach out to the necklace and fiddle with it between your fingers. "Oh by the way, Felix, I was thinking, do you think gold or silver looks better on you? I mean, you always wear those silver earrings, but gold has this warm tone that might suit you too. Not that silver doesn't look amazing, it does, but have you ever tried gold?"

Your words seemed to hang in the air, met with only silence from Felix. He kept his gaze fixed on the phone, fingers tapping away, seemingly lost in the messages or emails that occupied his attention.

"Or maybe a combination of both could work? Like, a subtle mix of gold and silver accessories. You know, they say mixing metals is a fashion statement. What do you think? Felix?"

Again, no response. Your attempt at a one-sided conversation continued, the one-sidedness becoming increasingly apparent.

"I mean, you always look good in anything, so I guess it doesn't really matter. But it's just a thought, you know? I was just thinking about how your style could evolve. Not that it needs to change! You're perfect just the way you are, but you know, I just thought..."

"Y/n, can you stop?" Felix's voice cut through the silence, and you lifted your head from his chest to meet his gaze. 

Confusion etched across your face as you asked, "What?"

Felix looked at you, his expression a mix of frustration and contemplation. For a moment, he hesitated, as if debating whether to voice the thoughts that lingered in his mind. Finally, he spoke, "This... all of this. Can't we just have a quiet moment without you sticking to me or talking this much?"

Your brows furrowed, caught off guard by his sudden request. "Is this because of what I said? If it was I'm sorry."

Felix's eyes flickered with a mixture of annoyance and something else you couldn't quite decipher. "It's not just about what you said. It's about the constant need for attention. I can't even have a moment to myself without you clinging onto me."

You recoiled slightly, hurt evident in your eyes. "I just wanted to spend time with you."

"You're suffocating me," he retorted, his tone sharper than before.

"Suffocating? Felix, we're in a relationship. Couples spend time together. I thought that's what we were doing," you defended.

He sighed, frustration evident in his voice. "There's spending time together, and then there's this constant need for validation. I can't even check my messages without you turning it into a drama."

You felt a knot forming in your stomach, a mix of confusion and hurt. "I never meant to. I just wanted to be close to you. What's so wrong about that?"

Felix sat up, his eyes locking onto yours. "Because it's too much! Can't you see that? I need space, Y/n. I can't be your source of constant entertainment."

The tension in the room escalated, and you could feel the weight of his words settling in. "I didn't think wanting to be close to my boyfriend was asking for too much," you muttered, more to yourself than to him.

Unknown to you, in his mind, Felix was wrestling with the contrast between your actions and his past self.

If I was always like this with the members, what must they have felt? Or did they just tolerate it to spare my feelings? he thought. Maybe they needed space, just like I do now. But I never gave it to them. I never thought about how they felt. All the times I thought I was comforting them was just me comforting myself.

As these thoughts swirled in his mind, he looked back at you.

Felix's frustration grew, evident in the way he raked a hand through his hair. "I need time for myself, and I thought you'd understand that."

"I do understand, Felix," you replied, your voice quivering.

He shook his head, the frustration in his eyes deepening. "No, you don't, Y/n. You never understand."

The words hung in the air, a heavy silence settling between you. It felt like a punch to the gut, the realization that the person you loved needed something you couldn't provide at that moment.

He sighed, a mix of regret and frustration in his eyes. "We all need to compromise in a relationship. It can't always be about what one person wants."

It can't always be what one person wants. That was something I should've kept in mind all those years of being a fuckin annoying ass.

"I'm not asking for much, just a little affection," you said, your voice pleading.

Felix shook his head, frustration evident in his expression. "It's not about affection, it's about balance. And right now, it feels like there's no balance."

The argument hung in the air, and you could see the emotional exhaustion on Felix's face. It was clear that, in his attempt to avoid the clinginess he experienced with his past self, he swung too far in the opposite direction.

You sat in silence for a moment, the weight of his words sinking in. "So, what now?" you finally asked, your voice small.

Felix ran a hand through his hair, looking conflicted. "I don't know, Y/n. Maybe we need some time to figure things out. I just need space right now. I think it would be best for both of us."

Tears welled up in your eyes as Felix's words echoed in the dimly lit room. The air felt heavy with unspoken tension, and you struggled to find the right words to convey the hurt that was gnawing at your heart.

"I'm sorry, Felix," you whispered, your voice shaky. "I didn't mean to make you feel suffocated."

Felix sighed, his expression softening slightly at the sound of your remorse. "Y/n, I need to figure things out too. We both do."

You nodded, a mixture of sadness and understanding in your eyes. "I get it."

As you spoke, a single tear trickled down your cheek, and you hastily wiped it away. The vulnerability of the moment weighed on you, making it difficult to maintain composure.

"I never wanted to be a burden, Felix," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry."

Without another word, you got up from the bed, leaving the room in a quiet haste. As you closed the door behind you, you leaned against it, taking a moment to collect yourself. The weight of uncertainty lingered in the air, and you couldn't shake the feeling of doubt that crept into your mind. It stung. All the times he hugged you back or told you that you made him feel better by simply cuddling him. It was like everything was fake.

As you reached a more secluded part of the apartment, you sank onto the floor, your emotions finally overwhelming you. Tears streamed down your face, and you cradled your face in your hands, grappling with the ache of a love that seemed to be slipping away. 

The thing that hurt the most was how you were so blind to his feelings? The moments when he pulled away or tensed up, you brushed them aside, thinking he was just having a bad day or was in a strange mood. Now, it became painfully clear that you had been disregarding his boundaries, forcing him into a role he wasn't comfortable playing.

As you sat alone in the dimly lit living room, the guilt twisted your insides. How could you have been so blind and selfish? Your attempts to draw him closer were, in reality, pushing him further away. You always thought whenever he would push away from you or ignore your affection, he was just trying to joke around. The thought of him feeling uncomfortable with you became a bitter pill to swallow.

You wondered if he had ever truly enjoyed those moments or if he had only tolerated them to avoid hurting your feelings. The pain of realizing that your actions might have caused him discomfort gnawed at you, and you felt a sinking sensation in your chest.

The apartment was enveloped in a heavy silence, broken only by the soft sobs that escaped your lips. Unbeknownst to you, Felix had eventually decided to leave the bedroom, and as he walked down the hallway, he heard the muffled sound of your tears. His heart sank, guilt gnawing at him for the pain he had unintentionally caused.

As he approached the dimly lit living room, he found you huddled on the floor, your shoulders trembling with each stifled sob. Felix hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to approach the situation. The weight of his own realizations bore down on him, and he felt an overwhelming urge to be there for you.

He silently sat down beside you, leaving a respectful distance, yet close enough to offer comfort. His eyes softened as he watched you wipe away tears, and a pang of regret tightened his chest.

Felix sighed, his gaze fixed on the floor. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

There was a moment of uneasy silence before you spoke again, your voice filled with vulnerability. "Why did you fake everything, Felix. Everything you ever reciprocated was fake." You knew you were more mad at yourself than him. "You made me think you liked everything I did."

"Y/n, it wasn't fake" he mumbled.

"Stop lying, Felix." you blew your nose, "You know what? It's fine. From now on just tell me what you want me to do. I'll do it. I can stop being clingy and stop asking so many questions. You can tell me when to come over or not. I'll change anything, I just want you to like me."

His breath hitched. You thinking exactly how he did at the time. Wanting to change himself simply for another person's validation. That is how he ended up like he is now and he brought that pain onto you.

"Y/n, never change yourself, " He said, almost like a threat, while turning to you with tears brimming his eyes.

"But you don't even like me for who I am," you sobbed.

Felix ran a hand through his hair, a conflicted expression on his face. "I do, Y/n. So so much. But you started reminding me of-" He paused for a sigh, "Me. and I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

His words hung in the air, and you felt a pang of confusion.

"Huh?" you asked softly, while blowing your nose.

Felix looked away, his voice carrying a hint of sorrow. "A year ago, I was all touchy, too. But then I noticed that they liked me better when I was less clingy. I didn't want to repeat the same mistakes, so I tried to be different with you."

The weight of his confession lingered in the room, and you felt a deep sense of understanding wash over you.

However, you inquired, "Who's 'they'"

"My members, friends, everyone. They all thought I was too much. I didn't want that for you."

"But I don't want you to be different, Felix," you admitted, your voice trembling. "I just want to be close to you."

Felix turned to you, his eyes glistening. "I want that too, Y/n. All I ever wanted to do is just lay in your arms and tell you about my day and just fall asleep. But I'm scared that I'd make you feel uncomfortable."

His words hung in the air, and you could feel the raw honesty behind them. The realization that Felix had been holding back his true self for fear of repeating past mistakes tugged at your heart.

"I didn't know," you whispered, your voice filled with regret. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Y/n," he shook his head, indicating that it's not your fault. "I don't think you know that back then, I could get way more clingy than you are now." Felix chuckled.

"That's impossible," you replied as Felix shook his head.

Felix sighed, a mixture of sadness and relief in his eyes. "I'll need to figure myself out cause I don't want to lose what we have" He reached out, gently wiping away a stray tear from your cheek.

As Felix's touch lingered on your cheek, you looked into his eyes, finding a glimmer of hope amidst the emotional turmoil. "Felix, maybe… maybe you should talk to your members about this. I'm sure they don't feel the way you think they do. They might understand and help you."

Felix hesitated, his gaze dropping for a moment before meeting yours again. "I don't know."

You nodded, understanding the complexity of his feelings. "I get that, but I also know they care about you."

Felix sighed, the weight of the situation evident in his expression. "I'll think about it, but for now, I need some time to reflect on everything."

"Take all the time you need, Felix. I'll be here when you're ready to talk," you assured him, your voice filled with sincerity.

"Thank you for understanding, Y/n. I appreciate it more than you know."

The two of you sat in the quiet living room, wrapped in a shared sense of vulnerability. The air felt lighter, the unspoken tension dissipating, and you couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope for the future.

In the following days, Felix did indeed take some time to reflect on his feelings and the dynamics within the relationship. The idea of talking to his members about it lingered in the back of his mind, and eventually, he mustered the courage to bring it up during a group discussion.

As Felix shared his thoughts and concerns, his members listened attentively, offering support and reassurance. To his surprise, they not only understood but also shared their own experiences of finding a balance between personal space and closeness within the group.

Hyunjin, in particular, spoke up, "Felix, how are fucking stupid! Now I feel so bad! You being all mean doesn't change how much we care about you."

Felix felt a sense of relief wash over him, realizing that his fears of being a burden or misunderstood were unfounded.

With this newfound clarity and the support of both you and his members, Felix started to find a love for being affectionate again. It wasn't an instant transformation, but gradual adjustments and open communication allowed him to overcome his insecurities.

"Felix?"

"Yes, babe!"

"Can you get me a towel?"

He entered the bathroom with a white towel in hand, his attention tethered to his phone. Nonchalantly placing the device on the sink counter, he fixed his gaze on you. A sly grin danced on his lips as he boldly looked at you from head to toe. With an assertive move, he opened up the bath towel, enveloping you with it by pulling you into an unexpectedly intense hug that left no room for escape.

[everythingseasoning]

MINORS DNI. Minors do not interact. 18+ only

Geto x Reader enemies to lovers smut fic !!

Listen with: I can fix him (no really I can)

Tags: Geto x afab reader, Smut, Geto is a tortured poet, pouty boy who needs a lot of healing, time skip, growth, reconnection, delicious, emotional smut

Warnings: Geto isn’t respectful of reader’s ‘go away’ and a somewhat toxic Geto in the beginning // reader is fucking mean at first, too. // Note that I did not stay in character for Geto. xxoo

“What are you cooking?” A deep voice calls out, rough from hours and hours of deep sleep.

“Jesus Christ you scared me!” you exclaim, turning to your left to see your roommate’s hookup of the week leaning on her door. Great. You feel your eyes do an invisible roll into the back of your head as you drink in the sight of the most notorious, smart, tortured poet in school.

Tall, long ebony locks, and well built. His snake tattoo slithers up his arm in black ink, his muscles framed even by his loose black shirt.

“Geto,” you say flatly.

Out of everyone, your roommate had to sleep with him. The rumors of his playboy tendencies swirl in your mind, and you’re grateful for the fact that your roommate was at least not looking for anything serious, recalling your conversation with them about how they would be hooking up with people just for fun throughout the semester. You wouldn’t want them to get hurt by this self-absorbed enigma.

“What are you doing here?” you half groan, before going back to cooking your oatmeal. The stove radiates wonderful heat in the chilly wintry morning.

Geto chuckles, “Surprised you didn’t wake up during it last night,” he says cheekily whilst walking over to your left side. He bends perpendicular to the ground, opening your fridge to look inside for something. You glance over to your side, seeing Geto pull out an almost empty juice carton, drink the rest of it, and close the fridge afterwards. You scoff as you turn your focus back to your oatmeal.

Unfortunately, Geto doesn’t leave you alone. He waltzes behind you, to the other side of you, and then leans on the counter, watching you cook your breakfast.

“You don’t have any real food in here.” He says, standing close to you, his dark brown eyes trained on you like two endless pools of flirtatious melancholy. “Do you even eat?”

You feel your cheeks heat up at Geto’s close proximity. Your eyes dart quickly from the oatmeal to the spoon you’re holding, and you stir the meal vigorously in your anxiety.

“Yes, I do eat! Use your eyes,” you huff, glancing into Geto’s hooded gaze briefly, before you point dramatically to the oatmeal you’re cooking.

“And,” you say, “if you’re so concerned about food, you could have brought some, too,” you retort. Part of you knows you’re being a bitch, but with how flustered you are, you don’t know how to act.

A smirk appears on Geto’s face as he notices your reaction to him being close. He chuckles deeply, amused.

“But why would I do that when it’s so much more fun to raid your fridge?”

Geto takes a stride closer to you and he peers into the pot of oatmeal. You feel the sweet relief of warmth radiating off of his body as his chin graces your shoulder, his smirk growing.

“I wouldn’t eat this though,” he says, wrinkling his nose.

You shrug, and Geto moves away. The heat in your cheeks doesn’t go away though.

“Didn’t you just fuck my roommate last night?” Your words cut through the atmosphere sharply.

Geto’s smirk widens even more, amused by how annoyed you seemed.

“Yeah, I did.”

He pauses.

“Jealous?”

Geto’s voice is smooth and held in a cocky tone.

“No, not jealous,” you say curtly, starting to get genuinely bugged by his arrogant behavior.

The yellow mixing spoon churns in the oatmeal before you stop your ministrations, setting the spoon down on a plate as you move to the cupboard and pull out some seeds for the oatmeal.

“You probably have an STD from how reckless you are,” you say nonchalantly, stirring in the seeds. The green pumpkin seeds disperse into the beige oats along with the chia seeds.

A smile appears on Geto’s face as he listened to your insult. He moves closer to you, and your heart almost bursts out of your chest as Geto rests his chin on your shoulder, feeling the weight of it.

“Someone’s a little feisty today~” Geto’s plush lips brush your ear and you shudder slightly. You swear that you feel his smile grow bigger.

“But don’t worry, I always use protection. Gotta protect what can make a woman feel,” his voice rumbles, deep and melodic, “good,” he whispers.

You can feel a heat and need bloom in between your legs, and silently curse at yourself for growing desperate.

You open your mouth to retort, but all that comes out is, “G-geto.” You feel his chin tilt on your shoulder so that he can gaze into your eyes better.

“Hm?”

You inhale sharply before breaking away again, moving to the fridge to get berries this time.

He chuckles at how small your voice is.

“What’s wrong? Can’t handle me being this close to you?” He says playfully, taking a step back and you can breathe again. He stands beside you now as you grab the berries.

As you move back to the stove, Geto’s gaze follows you. He’s leaned his sturdy body against the countertop, turned to face your direction so he can watch you even as you move around him. His eyes linger on your body, taking you in intently.

He couldn’t help himself from feeling a buzz in his cock, you looked cute all flustered like that. And you felt soft. So soft that it drove him crazy.

‘I have to keep my eyes off of him’ you think silently. You can’t risk eye contact. You’re in dangerous waters, the heat in between your legs fogging your brain. One wrong move, and who knows? You might be his second fuck in the span of 12 hours.

You move stiffly, robotically, picking out some of the blackberries and putting them in a bowl. As you turn the faucet on to wash the berries, you can feel Geto’s stare still burning into you.

He watches you intently with a smirk on his face, noticing how you try not to look at him. Geto’s eyes narrow in amusement— he couldn’t help but tease you a bit more.

“Ignore me all you want, baby. I know you want me~”

“I don’t want you, I want your stupid body,” you retort without thinking, before sharply glaring at him. “It’s lust, not love. It means nothing,” you spit out, looking back at your berries as you cup the rim of the bowl, slowly pouring the water out.

Geto simply chuckles at your response, amused by your honesty.

“That’s a good girl, admit what you really want~”

A single blackberry falls from between your hands, and you wince say it thunks into the sink. ‘Embarrassing!’ You scream internally.

“That’s cute baby~” He says, in a playful tone. He leans closer to you, his chest now pressing lightly against your back, the smell of musk and clean laundry wafting into your senses.

You’re going dizzy.

Geto smirks again, watching intently as you struggle to pour out the remaining drops of water, your heart hammering out of your chest.

Geto’s smooth voice fills the silence again as he plays with a lock of your hair, tugging it gently. “Lust, not love… Your blunt nature is refreshing. But be careful with how honest you are darling, you might make me even more interested in you~”

You can feel the electricity thrumming on your skin as Geto’s muscular chest grazes the back of your loose t shirt. You’re suddenly hyper aware of your nipples protruding from the fabric. Had you known your roomie’s hookup would be here this morning, you would have worn a bra.

And it sucks that the one guy on campus that you’d been lusting over was ever so sharp. Geto could tell something was off. You were even more flustered than before. Your body tensing up as his chest pressed harder into to your back. Geto takes in a breath through his nose, exhaling all breathy and deep, half moaning.

His hands gently come up to rest on your hips, his thumbs tracing small circles gently on your sides. A small whimper escapes your mouth when he touches you directly on the skin for the first time.

Smirking, his body pressed against yours in an almost suffocating embrace, Geto speaks in a low, sultry voice, “Baby…. Why are you so flustered? Your body is all tense…”

Geto teases you with his words, his soft touches. Above your hips, his calloused pads move down further—calloused from what? His guitar?—fuck it was so sexy— you feel Geto’s fingers move dangerously close to the aching parts of you. Your skin jumps and twitches from his touch— and you curse yourself for being so desperate and touch starved.

“So sensitive….” He murmurs, voice smooth in your ear.

You curse yourself for the timing of this. Your roommate sure as hell had been getting action, but you? You hadn’t touched another person’s body in many, many months. And the consequences were crawling up your skin now in short zaps of electricity.

One of Geto’s hands slips under the hem of your shirt, plunging down smoothly so that his fingers gently trace along your panty line, gently stroking your skin.

“It’s cute. You’re so needy baby… all for me heh…. Such beautiful skin…. So soft….”

And it feels so good when Geto’s lips comes down to your shoulder— his canines come down gently into your neck, catching the fabric of your shirt—

and that’s when you finally break free.

This is not the person you would let touch you after all these years.

“No-“ you choke out, yanking out from Geto’s grasp. You’re breathing is heavy, coming out in pants, lust clouding your eyes as you try to compose yourself.

“I’m hungry,” you say, shakily.

“I need to eat— need to fucking finish making my damn breakfast, and—” you say, bitterness tinging your voice as pull your gaze off of Geto’s red, red lips,

“Let’s say I let you fuck me. Then what? You’re happy. You got to bust a nut. But I’m left over here feeling used and empty.”

You narrow your eyes, speaking with conviction. “That’s. Not. Happening.”

Geto had of course let you break free from his grasp, watching as you tried to compose yourself, seeing your eyes full of want as you spoke.

“Why baby…. Are you already thinking of after we have fun?”

What a babbling idiot.

Geto takes a step closer to you, his eyes locked firmly on yours.

“Careful baby… I can hear the want in your voice… Just tell me what you really want, I’ll satisfy you… just give in...”

Your lid blows.

“God damn it, Geto. You’re fucking pathetic,” you hiss, pissed off that he’s disregarding my boundaries. “I said no. So drop it. If you manage to be a good friend first, maybe I would’ve considered it—“ you pause briefly, the gears in your head cranking.

I know that I would have let Geto touch me, if we’d had been friends first. If I trusted him.

“—But you are just a simple, selfish, horny man. And you’ll find another pretty girl to fuck by the afternoon. So why are you chasing me? To prove something to yourself? And then what? The second you have had me, you’ll cast me away like a toy you’re no longer are entertained by.”

Your words are laced with anger, but buried deep inside you, pain pulses deep in your heart.

Ouch. Geto reels in surprise. Your words hurts him somewhere deep, deep down inside. He wasn’t expecting you to get so mad at him. Taking in a deep breath, Geto’s expression falters as your words start to ring true…

“You think I’m pathetic….?” He asks.

Shit. It just slipped out of him. A stupid, stupid, vulnerable little sentence— worse— a question. Why was he seeking validation from you?

He hates how he actually cared about what you, a stranger, thought of him.

Your eyes flash with determined spite. A moment passes. You notice Geto has gone quiet, and seize the opportunity. “You’re actually weak,” you breathe out. “Aren’t you?”

Hurt crosses Geto’s face and you feel a flicker of something— a faint spark of pity— but you keep talking anyway.

“You’re just a shallow, empty man who is insecure because you have no personality outside of sex… isn’t that right, Geto?” you finish, your tone surprisingly light at the end. Entirely mockingly so.

He doesn’t say anything immediately, eyes on yours as he listens to his name spoken from your lips. He hates how it was so soothing to hear you say it.

Stepping closer to you, standing right in front of you, Geto’s eyes search yours, looking for any sign of weakness, any indication that you didn’t mean what you said about him.

There is none.

He grits his teeth, your words stung even more than before, that painful ache in his chest growing stronger. He wonders if you had indeed spoken the truth. But that didn’t matter. He couldn’t stand feeling so weak.

“And if that’s true? What then? What does it matter?” Geto says in a defensive tone, trying to ignore the pang in his chest as he spoke.

His wall was back up. But the image of Geto’s stunned face is seared into your memory.

Your eyes soften, the anger drained into a tired frustration, and moreover, pity and guilt.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have— I just was so mad that you disrespected my boundaries when I’d clearly told you no. …But two wrongs don’t make a right. You didn’t deserve that outburst, I’m sorry…” you say, more waves of guilt washing through you. The whole situation was just so complicated and you hated being in it, frustration and hurt and remorse coursing through your blood.

Sensing your gentleness, Geto tries to keep the usual cocky smirk on his face, trying to maintain the confident façade he was so used to having around girls. But he could feel it slipping, leading into vulnerability, as you stare at him with sincere eyes.

…God, he hates it. He hates how your voice sounded so soft… and how his chest was suddenly tight.

But then you do something strange. Something unexpected. —You grab his hand, and you hug him.

In that moment, all of Geto’s cockiness and anger deflates out of him, leaving him wounded, stray, hurting.

And he starts crying, silently, into your body as you hold him.

-

*this is a teaser for the whole fic :). In the full fic, smut will happen in one of the chapters*

—> m’s JJK masterlist link

-

AN: WRITING IS FARRRR FROM PERFECT but i desired to feed you all today. Hope you enjoyed!! You can comment to let me know if you want the full version or wanna be tagged!

AN pt II: you can’t fix a man like this ladies. I’m telling you now. This is fiction for a reason. Hey Alexa, play ‘I can fix him (no really I can)’

[ko-existing]

Stop for a second — Audio into Text

This might sound like a harsher or more stern post but either way, sometimes real talk is needed. A massive problem I see in my inbox and friends' inboxes is that people absolutely refuse to properly read posts, think about what was said, and ponder it for themselves before asking any questions. Out of the over 2000 asks we have received since opening this account, 99.9% of them can be answered by the questioners themselves. Most of the questions we answered on our blog could also be answered by the questioners themselves. We're not needed for it, but the problem is that people just do not want to think for themselves or don’t even want to properly read a post before asking questions.

For example is when we post something like, "All concepts are imaginary and made up. If you drop all of them, you're left with nothing-ness." Or, "If you strip yourself of all senses, you will still have the sense of existing or the sense of being. You don't need your senses for it. If you have a dream and your senses are not involved, you still know and have that sense of being and experiencing." Then, a very popular question is, "So, if all concepts are imaginary, does that mean the law of assumption, law of attraction, the void state, manifesting, and shifting are imaginary as well?" That's a question I will never understand because—genuine question—what do you think "all is imaginary" means? If there was an exception, don't you think someone would have mentioned it? It's not just our blog or other people's blogs—Rupert Spira, Swami Sarvapriyananda, Alan Watts, or Robert Watts all say the same thing. If there is an exception, one of us would have mentioned it. It’s already in the sentence: "ALL is illusory." There is no exception to it. So, why ask if there is an exception when it's already in the sentence

Another very popular thing is when we say, "All is awareness and everything happens within awareness." That is something you can absolutely, 100% directly experience because you're doing it right now. Just be aware that you're doing it right now, that everything is happening within awareness. Just go backward—ask yourself, "Why am I perceiving this right now? What's needed?" and then go backward, and the end, or what seems to be the end, would be awareness.

When we say that, people still ask how, or they say, "Well, but we experience it with senses, and who's aware of those senses?" You need "awareness" to be aware of the senses; the senses alone do not experience anything. That’s just independent thinking that is refused within a lot of you. Absolute independent investigation needs to happen.

The other day, we received a few asks saying that we phrase our posts vaguely—and that's not true. The way people phrase things, or the way blogs or speakers in general phrase things, is the exact same way they learned it and experienced it themselves. It might sound vague to you because you just briefly read over it and don't ponder on it, or don’t read it as many times as you need to. You just read it once, maybe twice, and then start asking questions—Go backward by yourself, think for yourself, ponder and investigate by yourself, and the answer is clear as day. But a lot of you don't want to do it, and that’s where the problem lies. You don't want to rely on yourself, you don't want to take responsibility for yourself. You feel like, "Okay, this person has woken up, this person is already seeing through the illusion, so I have to listen to them, and I have to ask them for security reasons, for safety reasons, because their word is reliable. My thinking is not. If I investigate for myself, there could still be mistakes." And that's where the false thought process is. If you believe that you have to rely on someone else's words because you cannot rely on your own conclusions, you will keep overconsuming to the n-th degree. Experiencing is not done by me—it's done by you. Investigating and coming to conclusions to true understanding on a fundamental level can never happen through someone that seems to be external. It happens within you, by you, for you, and it's something you need to understand.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but it has to be said sooner or later because you're tired from going into circles, we're tired, everyone is tired. So why are you not doing yourself a favor and really seeing it for yourself? Stop asking anyone anything—ask yourself, because that's where the answer is. GO BACKWARDS. When people say "all answers are within," it is as literal as it can get. I'm not saying within your brain or within your organs, but the answers are within. If everything happens within awareness, the answers are within awareness, and the answers are just as illusory—which means not what they seem to be—as the questions. And once that's understood, there's nothing else to understand.

ALL anyone can do here is lead you to water, it's up to you if you drink or not .

[tarjapearce]

Lips anon! MY HEART 😭 Gabi is such a sweetheart ❤️ Imagine her being particularly pouty, and when Mama asks what's wrong, she's like "I want a little sibling!"

Mama thinks it's funny, but later that night, Miguel is like, "Gabi wants to be a big sister. We should get to work, cariño..."

I can just picture this like:

Gabriela wasn't a quiet child, perhaps a bit pouty when she thought too much on something, another trait inherited from Miguel. And you couldn't help stare at her as she had fixated her somewhat little glare on the fruit she was munching on.

"Are you ok, cariño?"

She just nodded and you stopped chopping some vegetables for tonight's dinner.

"Something on your mind?" You prodded softly not wanting to be overbearing or too pushy. She sighed.

"Everyone in school is talking about how fun is to be an eldest sibling, and Raquel is always all 'my little brother this, my little brother that'" She sighed, annoyed, as your cheeks flushed, knowing now where this was going.

It didn't help that Miguel just walked in, glasses on his face, a mug of coffee in hand and a relaxed expression on his face, that instantly turned into a curious one as he kissed Gabi on the forehead.

"¿Qué le pasa a mi solecito?" (What's wrong with my little sunshine?)

He then kissed you and put his mug on a nearby counter.

"Quiero" She paused and cleared her throat, her hands folded before her, as if she was trying to make a serious negotiation.

"I want a sibling."

Miguel and you froze, most of the nervous glances came from you, Miguel seemed to actually be contemplating it. You elbowed him when Gabriela's stare fell on you upon the silence stretching too long.

"Gabriela, mi amor..." you trailed. A few of the spanish endearment words you had learned from Miguel, "A sibling isn't something that just pops out of nowhere."

"How do you make them then?"

Shit.

Miguel couldn't help but genuinely look at the scene displaying before him with amusement in his eyes. He wanted to laugh, hia fangs poking enough self control.

"W-Well, you see..." your stuttering only made her little frown to turn more curious. Of course she was a smart girl, and explaining where the babies came from was something you had been mentally preparing yourself to do. She was 10.

"Do you know how a baby grow into my belly, right?"

She nodded, curiosity making her eyes round in wonder.

"Teacher explained us that it takes a long time to grow a baby"

"Indeed. Nine months actually" She gasped and frowned.

"But... that means I won't be a big sister until next year?!"

"It's a delicate process, mi amor."

She sighed and nodded, disappointed.

"But, that means the making takes a long time as well then?"

She wasn't leaving it. But if one thing you had learned is to never underestimate the understanding capacity of a kid. You weren't squeamish about talking on sexuality or Sex Ed to Gabriela, you just weren't prepared for it. But the time had come.

"It's quite simple, but it's not always successful. Babies are made when the sperm fertilizes an egg that is my uterus. Right here." You pointed at your lower belly.

"And how does that happen?"

"Something called, sexual intercourse, mi sol." Miguel spoke with a serious expression.

"And what is that?"

"When your father and I love each other, including our bodies."

"Ah..." She looked like putting two and two together and it suddenly clicked.

"Then, you better start soon."

Gabriela shrugged as you both were left speechless.

"A baby girl would it be too much to ask?"

"Let me see what I can do, alright? Go change for dinner" Miguel nodded with a smile as Gabriela hopped off the chair and left you alone. He sighed as you remained there, almost a bit too stunned of how things just happened.

"My god..."

"It was a good talk. Don't worry."

"I worry. She wants a baby sister."

"Guess we have to work hard to get her a baby sister, hm?"

Your cheeks grew impossibly red.

------

(Yeah, kiddos understand way better than people give em credit for. 👀)

[monzabee]

like real people do – cl16 (+18)

masterlist

Summary: The one where you are having sex with your boyfriend, Charles, for the first time but he wants everything to be perfect for you. 

Pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: smut (i can’t believe this day has arrived), absolute filth towards the end i'm so sorry mom, charles being a romantic dork, insecurities, obsessively planning something for it to only go wrong, cursing, fluff towards the end, google translate French, minors dni!!

Request: “Hi!!! Maybe you could do a first time with Charles Leclerc? Where he is upset because he wants everything to be perfect. And he whispers to her how much he loves her and her body. And maybe a sweet aftercare at the end?Just a suggestion &lt;3 Have a nice day!”

Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! thank you so much for the feedback and love you’ve left on my last fic! this one was fun to write but please beware that this is my first-time writing smut in my life. thank you anon for the request, i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 

Dating Charles is easy, you think. Not in a bad way, no. But in a way that makes it very easy for you to lost yourself in him and your love for him, which doesn’t make you feel scared whether you guys are moving too fast or too slow. Charles always tells you that you should live your life on your own pace, without any comparison to other people’s –  although he doesn’t seem to practice what he preaches, both figuratively  and literally on the track. 

You love the story of how you two met, and you know he does, too. He brings it up often when the two of you are on a date, sharing the last course of the night, dessert, even though the two of you are probably full and can’t possibly eat anymore. The two of you met almost a year ago, in France actually, after the disaster of a race. Charles was forced by his friends, mainly Pierre, to go out for the night to hopefully have some drinks and let off some steam. You, on the other hand, were on possibly the worst date you could ever remember being on in your entire life. Therefore, being the only two people who are having the worst time in the small bar, you two met on the back patio where you thought you’d be able to get some alone time. Although the two of you don’t hit it off immediately, the only thing you could think about by the end of the night is when you might see the Monegasque with the dimples again. You guys don’t start dating immediately either, no, because Charles insists that it is important for you two to get to know each other as friends first. You agree, mostly because he is right, and also because you are impressed by the fact that he is showing emotional maturity in a way you did not experience in your past relationships before. But it is easy with Charles, even if he has an inhumane work schedule most of the year and your guys’ schedules don’t match up most of the time, you make time for each other. He knows how much your career means to you and you know the same goes for him so the two of you are very careful not to cross any lines. That doesn’t mean that Charles doesn’t spend all of his free time with you, of course.  

Another interesting thing about your relationship is the fact that you two haven’t had sex yet, although you’ve been together for a while. Some people are genuinely shocked to find this little fact out, for example when you told Lily she almost dropped the coffee mug she was carrying, or sometimes Charles’ friends like to make fun of the situation, mostly Pierre (in reality, only Pierre), though it’s all in good fun. You don’t feel weird about the fact that you two haven’t slept together yet, but you ask him whether there’s a certain reason why and Charles’ answer turns you into a sobbing mess in his arms. He explains that while he would love to fuck your brains out – in the most respectful way possible – but he want is to be perfect for your first time. In his mind, he is trying to show you how serious he is about your relationship by slowing down the pace and taking his time, and when he’s finally able to put it in words, they make you tear up in the best way possible. That’s not to say that the two of you didn’t partake in other forms of sexual intimacy per se. For example, there’s that one time where he came into his driver’s room after a particularly adrenaline filled race and dropped to his knees for you – you can still recall the devilish smile on his face and the fact that he never took his eyes off of you, not once. There was the time after the FIA Prize Giving Ceremony, of course, where the two of you managed to sneak out of the ceremony into one of the bathroom stalls and this time you were the one on your knees for him. In conclusion, neither of you feel you’re missing out on anything just because you haven’t had sex yet. 

It’s a couple of months after the last time you brought up the topic of having sex when the two of you stumble onto the topic again. It’s by an accident, really – and not much of a discussion, only a couple of words exchanged between the two of you. The two of you are watching a new movie which finally made its way onto Netflix, and you’re very happy with your place on the couch – squeezed between the cushions with the side of Charles’ body, which is very warm and making you a little sleepy to be honest. However, your sleepy mood is quickly wiped away when you realise the soft moans coming from the TV. You let your eyes take in the scene before you, the actors on the screen not slowing down for a second when you realise Charles’ breathing has gone deeper. He involuntarily tightens his arm around your shoulders, pressing you more into his sides. 

“Charles,” you mumble, bringing your gaze up to him and swallowing a deep breath once his green eyes meet yours. 

“Yes, chérie?” Although the focus on his eyes are on you, you can tell that he is also very much aware of the developing scene on the TV. His eyes widen when he realises what your silent request is and he exhales sharply. “Chérie…” 

You hide your face in his neck at the gentle rejection he offers, leaving soft kisses across the skin left open from the neckline of his hoodie. “Please, mon coeur.” You think your choice of words does it for a second. It usually does it, when you speak French because you don’t do it very often, but one look in his eyes tells you tonight won’t be the night. “But why?” you whine, almost childishly, burying your face deeper in his neck. 

“Because you need perfection, mon amour.” He replies, but there is a strain in his voice due to the tightness in his sweatpants. 

“I don’t need perfection.” You grumble, your sexual tension feeling overwhelming for the moment. 

“Maybe not,” Charles replies, taking a deep breath. “But you deserve it.” 

You inhale deeply at his words too, occupying your hands with the strings of his hoodie. “Soon?” you ask in a hopeful voice. 

He leaves a soft kiss on your hairline with an affirmative hum. “Soon,” he promises. 

It’s a couple of weeks later that incident when you find yourself back in his apartment in Monaco. Due to the flexibility your work provides now that you’re taking on more freelance roles. Charles was worried you took the step because of his own schedule, but you quickly assured him that you were feeling burnt-out because of the 9-to-5 hustle. So when you step in his apartment that evening, you take in the sight with a small smile on your face. 

“Honey, I’m home!” You announce your arrival, presenting the flowers in your hand with a proud expression as you enter the kitchen.

“Chérie!” He welcomes you, walking towards you from behind the counter and engulfing you in one of his bear hugs – which are your favourite, of course. “Welcome home, I’ve missed you.” 

“Well, then maybe you shouldn’t sent me out to get my nails, you silly goose.” You giggle, getting out of his arms and leaving a kiss on his cheek to go find a vase for the bouquet in your hands. 

“I needed time, and you know why.” He crosses his arms in his chest and a small smirk finds a place on his face as he raises his eyebrows. “You bought me flowers?” 

“Well, yes,” You shrug, “everyone deserves flowers, no?” 

“Hm,” he lets out a small hum, and gets behind you while you’re filling up a vase with water. He places his chin on your shoulder as he speaks in a low voice. “I got you flowers as well; you know.” 

“Oh, I know, I saw them on the dining room table.” You smile as you look at the flowers placing them on an empty place on the counter and turning your head back to look at Charles. “I love them, thank you, darling.” 

He kisses your lips softly, “I’m glad you like them.” He perks up when the oven timer indicates that the dinner is ready. So he takes your hand and walks you towards the door, “You go wait in the dining room, I’ll be right over.” 

He comes into the dining room a little while later carrying a pizza presented on a large plate with what you think to be artistically placed basil leaves. You smile widely at him while he puts the plate on the table and serves the two of you. “You cooked me pizza?” You ask, pressing your lips together to prevent you from smiling like a maniac. 

“I know it’s your favourite.” He smiles wildly right back at you, motioning your plate. “You first, I wanna see your reaction.” 

“Okay!” You answer him, picking up the slice and taking a bite out of it. As you start to chew the piece, you widen your eyes and let out a hum to disguise your reaction. Although it takes you a minute or two to swallow the piece in your mouth, his excited eyes never leave yours for a moment. “It’s great! Which recipe did you use, honey?” 

“I’m glad you asked,” he answers you, picking up his own piece, “it’s a recipe I found online.” He bites a mouthful out of the pizza and as he begins to chew, his eyes widen and suddenly he is spitting the food into a napkin as politely as he can. “Jesus, what’s wrong with this thing?” His eyes move towards your face and widens even more. “Chérie, you can’t possibly like this.” 

“What, no!” You say, dragging out the last letter. “It’s great, Charles, really.” You start to take another bite, but he stops you with an incredulous look on his face. 

“Chérie, non! You’re going to give yourself food poisoning!” He shakes his head, and takes out his phone to check the recipe after you ask him once again which recipe he used. “It’s the one from ‘Food Network’. It’s supposed be edible, no?”

“Oh, Charles.” You sigh, softly, looking over the American measurements instead of the European ones. 

His confused eyes find yours. “What?” he asks with a genuine concern. 

“They are in the American form, not the European ones.” You answer, a hand stroking his forearm in attempts to bring him sympathy. 

“Oh my god, I– I’m sorry, chérie.” He sighs, leaning his head back towards the back of the chair and letting out a frustrated groan. “I am stupid.” 

“You are not stupid, Charles.” You assure him, you hand is still on his arm to hopefully convince him that he is not, in fact, stupid. “It’s a common mistake.” 

“But non, it was supposed to be edible!” He points to the dough on your plate frustratedly and adds, “I even got you the wine you liked so we could share it.” 

“You got me wine to share?” You ask him softly. “But you don’t even like wine.” 

His answer is simple. “But you do.” He takes a moment to reflect and then brings his hands up to cover his face. “Oh my god, I forgot to take the wine out of the freezer.” 

“Charles, please,” You try to move his hands from his face, but he stubbornly keeps them there, letting out a groan in the process. “Okay, nope, enough.” You announce, getting up from your chair and try to forcefully pull him out of his chair. 

“No, mon amour, stop.” He argues, but you keep pulling him towards the bedroom with still chanting the words; no and nope.

When you finally get to the bedroom and open the door, you’re quite surprised to find another surprise there. You let your eyes wander through the rose petals and candles in the room – though, yes, it is a bit cheesy, you know the reason he went to this far is only to make you feel special and appreciated. “Charles,” you say his name with softness, and emotion, and (maybe) with tears but your hand in his tightens the moment you lay your eyes on him. “I love you, God, I love you.” 

“I love–” He can’t finish the rest of his sentence because suddenly you pull his face against yours, and press your lips onto his. His hands are quick to find your waist, and pull you against him. His movements are slow as he leads you towards the bed, but he lets you have control over the kiss and tries to match your rhythm as you deepen the kiss. As you get closer to the bed, one of his hands find your ass and when he squeezes the flesh under his hands, he is also quick to swallow your moans in his kiss. 

You let out a protesting hum when he tries to put you on top of the bed, so he slowly pulls away from the kiss and raises his eyebrows questioningly. “No.” You murmur, quickly switching your positions and gently pushing him to sit on the bed. “My turn.” You quickly place yourself to sit on his lap with a playful smile on your face. You let your hands wander across his shirt-clad chest, quickly starting to unbutton it while keeping your eyes on his. He assists you when you try to pull his shirt off of him and sigh dreamily at the sight, and softly pushing him on his shoulder to lie down on the bed. You proceed to drop your head and press kisses to anywhere and everywhere on his skin. You start with his lips, which he tries to deepen but quickly gives up because he understands what you’re trying to do, then his jaw and neck, his chest and eventually through the happy trail which leads your mouth to the destination you were hoping to achieve. Your start to unbutton his pants and try to undo his belt buckle, but he stops your shaky hands to bring you back up despite your protests. 

“No, chérie, not tonight.” Although his tone is firm, you try to get back to your previous position in hopes that we will let you. However, he tightens his hands on your hips to keep you in place as he pulls you close and whispers, “I said no, mauvaise fille.” bad girl. A smirk threatens to etch itself on his face when he hears your soft whine at his attempt to chastise you. He brings one of his hands to rest on the juncture of where your jaw meets your neck and allows his thumb to caress your bottom lip. “You’re going to let me worship you, n'est-ce pas? wont you? Before I fuck you, I mean.” 

Your breath nearly gets stuck in your throat, but you manage to let out a soft, “Charles.” 

“Tell me, mon amour, or I won’t touch you tonight at all.” There is a mischievous look on his face which is laced with months of built-up sexual tension – rather a dangerous combination, you reckon.

“Y-yes.” You breath out. “I will let you.” 

“You will let me do what, my love? Say it in French.” He moves his hand to cover your neck and applies the smallest bit of pressure he knows you like, enough to keep you on your toes but not enough to cut the air completely or leave any bruises. “You know I love it when you speak in French.”

“Je– Charles.” You quickly give up as you try to string the correct words together but his persistent gaze has you trying again and again to find the right ones. “Je te laisserai me toucher.” I will let you touch me. 

The smirk on his face turns wicked as he clicks his tongue. “Ne touche pas, dis-moi le mot juste, chérie.” Not touch, tell me the correct word, darling. “I won’t touch you tonight if you don’t tell me,” he reminds you. 

You let out a whine as you try to move your hips to gain some friction for relief, but his hand, which is still on your hip, stops you from doing so. Moving your hands to slowly hold his wrist, which belongs to the hand currently wrapped around your neck, you look him straight in the eyes with a panic. “Adorer! Je te laisserai m'adorer!” Worship, I will let you worship me!

“Bonne fille,” Good girl, he mumbles getting you out of your dress in no time. But he takes time with your underwear, allowing his fingers to explore as he teases you – no doubt. He slowly lays your body on top of the bed, and moves his body to sit between your parted legs. “Beautiful,” he whispers as he lets his eyes wander through the curves of your body, your chest, and eventually the wet spot between your legs. “Are you wet for me, my love?”

You nod timidly, partly due to the fact that you’re completely naked while he only has his shift off. It’s not that you two haven’t been naked together before, but it feels much more different this time compared to before. “Charles, please.” Your whine is much high in pitch this time, feeling needier as the minutes go by. “Please, do something.” 

“I will, mon chérie, don’t worry.” He moves down on the bed and lowers himself on his knees and pulls your legs over his shoulders. “Just don’t forget to tell me if it gets to much, okay?” 

“Okay– my God, Charles!” You throw your head back as Charles begins his mission – which must be, when looking back, eating you out like a mad man because the second he places his tongue on your slit, he begins to devour you as if he’s been starving for years. As he licks and nips and sucks at you skin, you have no control over the reactions your body supplies him with, which is mostly chanting his name over and over again. And you are pretty sure that he becomes more motivated to make cum every time your voice gets higher both in voice and pitch. You don’t know how long it has been and how many orgasms he’s given you just with his mouth and fingers. Three? Four? Five? You’re not sure – but the one thing you know is that when you’re just about to come again, you weave your hands through his hair and pull hard. In retrospect, it seemed like a good idea, but you come to regret that decision when Charles takes your clit between his lips and sucks just as hard, guiding through a mind-blowing orgasm which leaves you shaking and arching your back against the Monegasque. Just as you thought that would be it, he begins to restart his fingers’ movements, which has you pushing his head off of your pussy in an attempt to stop him. “Charles, I can’t anymore!” 

That seems to do it, because with a feverish look on his face, Charles lifts his head up and holds on to your thighs which are still on the either side of his head. “What’s wrong, mon amour?”

“I can’t – I’m sorry,” you babble through the involuntary tears, mostly due to the force of your orgasm – which does leave him worried but he lets you finish your thoughts before he takes any action. “Please just fuck me.” 

“Shh,” he soothes you, leaving small kisses to your upper thighs and moves himself to hover over your body. “You did so well, bonne fille.” He strokes your hair as he whispers sweet nothings to your ear, helping you to calm down and regulate your breathing before the two of you continue. “Breath, bonne fille, ma bonne fille.”

You listen to him as he gives you instructions, breathing deeper breaths and trying to keep your focus on his eyes while you do so. Your hands grip his biceps tightly when he makes a move to get up, the look in your eyes becoming panicky once again. “Where are you going?” 

His hand continue its movements in your hair as he smiles at you softly. “I’m going to grab a condom, and be right back, okay?” 

“Don’t.” You croak, your throat becoming dry as you keep talking and start blushing akin to a lobster. “I’m on birth control.” 

“Chérie,” Charles starts, “Y/N, we can’t–”

“Please, I just wanna feel you.” The softness of your voice tugs at his heartstrings as you add, “Only if you want to.” 

“Of course, I want to, you silly girl.” Charles assures you quickly and gets out of his trousers and boxers, and positions himself between your legs with the head of his cock pressed to your opening. He moves his eyes from you pussy to your face, locking his gaze with yours as he speaks again, “I’m going to go slow, okay?” He waits for your reaction before starting to move his hips, his cock moving inside you in a slow pace. As he continues the movement of his hips your lips part and a moan resembling his name come out. He stops at a certain point and gives you a moment to adjust, then moves his hips backwards enough that he gets out of you, but he is quick to slip back in and continue his movements up to the point he let you get adjusted to. 

You let out a whine, which prompts him to raise his eyebrows in question, which you reply with a nod of your own. You wrap your legs around his hips, the skin-to-skin contact feeling nice, and push him deeper inside you which results in you actually screaming his name. If you thought feeling him before that moment was pleasurable, felling all of him inside you all at once feels as if you’ve achieved some sort of nirvana. “Deeper, please, plus profonde.”

“I’ve got you, darling.” He manages to get out, moving his hips faster and deeper at the same time and hitting the spot which causes your eyes to roll back to your head every time. “You have no idea how beautiful you look like this, right now. Mon chef-d'œuvre, tout à moi.” My masterpiece, all mine.

With your entire body shaking with the movement of Charles’ hips, you still manage to nod your head. “All yours, Charles.” Your hands squeezing his biceps for support, “I love you, je t'aime tellement.” I love you so much. 

“God, I love you so much.�� He lets out a groan, and drops his head to your neck to press kisses and suck your skin between his lips in an urgent need to leave his mark on your body. “Je promets que je t'aimerai pour toujours.” I promise I'll love you forever.

Your hands move to weave through his messy hair, pulling him closer in an attempt to keep him closer to your body – which proves a challenge because the two of you are already wrapped around each other. “I’m close, mon coeur.” 

“I know, sweetheart.” He breathes on your neck, his warm breath making you shiver under the weight of his body. He puts his weight on one of his arms and moves the other one towards your body, this fingers quick to find your clit as he begins to circle it. “Come for me so I can fill you up, hm? You want that, don’t you?” 

You nod your head and let him take you there for the last time that night, your orgasm coming in stronger than the previous ones due to the overstimulation Charles thankfully provided. “I do, I do, I really, really do.” Your legs tighten around his hips and your hands slip down his back as you claw at the skin there while your hips lift off the bed, causing you to arch your body to mold his. 

He only lets himself come when he’s guided you through yours, his fingers slowing down without stopping when he’s emptying himself into you. The moan he gets out, muffled because his head is still buried in your neck, quickly becomes one of your favourite sounds in the world. He holds you close as he slips out of you, the small wince on your face not going unnoticed by him, and he pulls you towards him when he drops next to you on the bed. Charles listens to your breathing for a while, only to find you looking at him with sleep evident in your eyes and a pleased smile on your lips. “Comme c'est joli.” How pretty. He says, “And all mine.” 

“All yours,” you sigh, but your voice coming off sleepy. “I’ve always been all yours.” 

His fingers draw random shapes on the bare skin on your back as he raises an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

“Hm, tu sais que c'est vrai.” You know it’s true. You mumble, snuggling closer to the driver wrapped around you. “I love you, mon amour.”

“I love you too, chérie.” He kisses the side of your head. “The next time we do this, I’m making you edible pizza, though.” 

“I don’t need pizza.” You laugh softly, “only you.” 

“Still,” Charles shrugs, “now go to sleep so I can take you out to breakfast tomorrow.” 

[babyangelsky]

Peat's acting is stupendous and it's hurting my feelings

I need to talk about the bedroom scene and the fight that preceded it because it felt like I was having a mirror held up to me and looking at my younger self and in doing, so I've come to love Tongrak as a character even more than I did before.

I talked about the expressions already but I just cannot get past this one. Rak's eyes are so dead and he looks so tired in a way that I understand so deeply. He knows what's about to happen. He screened Prin's call earlier precisely in hopes of avoiding it but she showed up anyway.

I do have to acknowledge that a lot of my interpretation and feelings about him and these scenes are very much a product of my own experiences, but believe me when I tell you that having a family as fucked as his and having to deal with relatives like this drains you. You fight back because you have to, not because you want to. You don't go seeking the bullshit but somehow it always seems to arrive at your door.

I know exactly how he must be feeling because I've felt it. Because I've fought back and made sure my mask was firmly in place for as long as I needed it to only to break the second I could turn my face away.

I'm impressed that Rak didn't run from Mut and that he didn't start crying on the way to his bedroom. That powerwalk he did instead though? I know it all too well.

To Rak's mind, Mut has already witnessed far more than Rak ever intended for him to. That fight was nasty. It poked at so many wounds, touched on so many painful, intimate things about Rak's family and about him. Prin wanted to hurt and humiliate him and she succeeded.

I can confidently say that if someone I cared about witnessed that happening to me, the last thing I would want is to break down in front of them on top of it, so I completely understand why Rak's first instinct was to put distance between him and Mut. You know the breakdown is coming and the only thing you want is to have it in private.

I know people feel some kind of way about Rak's refusal to let Mut into his bedroom and essentially shutting him out but Mook tells us in episode 4 that no one is allowed in Rak's bedroom. This isn't just about Mut. Everything we have learned and seen of Rak so far tells us that he's a person who needs a safe place to hide. A place where he can close the door and know he won't be intruded upon.

Sure, it's his house and ideally he would have the freedom to break down wherever he wants to inside of it but given that Mook comes and goes pretty freely, he doesn't really have that luxury by his standards. There's always a chance she'll walk in. And he certainly doesn't have it now that he's no longer living alone.

So he goes to hide in his bedroom so he can process and feel what he needs to.

And when Mut comes after him, this happens. Mut pushed at that boundary out of genuine care and concern and he's not wrong for that. I've been on his side of this equation too and the impulse to help in whatever way you can is impossible to resist, even if all you can offer is a meal.

But I also understand Rak. God do I understand him. That need to be alone, demanding to be left in peace, lashing out when someone won't despite it being with good intentions. When you've been pushed to your limit and you know a breakdown is coming and that there will be shrapnel when it does, the very last thing you want is for the people you care about to get hit with it.

Like @bird-inacage said in their post, Tongrak is a caged animal at this point. He's feeling vulnerable and defensive and he lashes out. He doesn't want to, he tries to stop it, but it ends up happening anyway.

And he regrets it. He does. The way I see it, he couldn't bring himself to knock on Mut's door both because he'd exhausted all his nerve in the fight with Prin and because a part of him was probably worried that he'd be rejected if he did. When you lash out, especially when you don't mean to, there's always a worry that you've done irreparable damage to your relationship with whoever was on the receiving end and that you won't ever be forgiven.

Sometimes it really is something as simple as a sticky note that brings you to tears and has you sobbing into your dinner in the middle of the night.

The note and the meal are proof that Tongrak hasn't been rejected, that he's still cared for despite the way he reacted after the fight and the things that he said. We know that Mut wasn't going to reject him but Rak needed to know that as well.

And now that they had their moment in the dressing room and the issue of the money has been talked about, we're paving a way forward for Rak to be able to express what he feels without using it as a defense mechanism. He still will, and he will hurt me many more times before we're done, but we're making progress.

[toruro]

hhu + you being jealous

tags/warnings: jealousy, sexual content (mostly non-explicit), oral (both m and f receiving), light angst (it's resolved)

w/c: 3.8k

seungcheol

he's just so hot and so charming that you can't even get mad at him when you see one of the girls at this party you're at come just a little too close, bat her eyelashes just a little too much, laugh just a little too hard. cheol may not notice anything wrong with it but you're a girl and you definitely do, sending death glares from across the room. cheol isn't looking your way right now—you know it's because he's talking to a group of people but one of the people happens to be her—and you're suddenly overwhelmed with a nasty feeling in your stomach.you aren't sure if you want to go up to him and kiss him smack on the lips in front of everyone or resort to ignoring him for the rest of the night (you know it's not technically his fault but you're in a bratty mood and the scene in front of you makes you want to burst into tears). jealousy coursing through your veins, you choose the latter. you don't look his way (although it is very hard with the way he looks so good tonight), you don't go up to him—frankly, you don't do anything. you're left alone for your jealousy to bubble up in it's own isolation, morphing into some kind of ugly sadness that's lingering in you when you come to notice that yes you haven't gone up to cheol in the past half hour but he also hasn't come up to you either.

eventually you'll end up on the sofa leaning into one of your girl friend's arm, finding solace in a person who you wished was cheol. that's when he'll come up to you (fucking finally!) with concerned eyes, "you wanna go?" he'll ask softly and for a moment you almost cave—almost. that's when you hear that girl's name (what's her fucking name...jiwoon?) calling for him, asking him when he'll be back. when cheol just calls back, "one minute," all traces of your forgiveness wither away. one second you were about to take his hand and ditch this party, but the next second you're sinking back into the arms of your friend, shaking your head. "go" you try to come off as cool but the venom is seeping through and cheol gives That Look. "baby—" you'd cross your arms over your shoulder, closing him off. "no," you say with a shrug, "go." he'd sigh, shoving his hands in his pocket, "i don't wanna stay if something's bothering you." you'd think this is your chance (about time!), "then we should've left an hour ago." he's giving you That Look again but you think you've suffered enough tonight—you won't relent. "what's that supposed to mean?" you feel slightly guilty when he says that because you know he's being genuine but you've been too upset for too long. "dunno..." your voice would trail off while you pretend to examine your nails, "maybe you should as jiwoon." he'd give you That Look times ten. "baby—" you shake your head, putting your hand up nonchalantly. "no, i don't care," you tell him, looking over at her. "you should go, she's calling you."

cheol would have his hands fisted at his sides, contemplating if he should be angry about you being so petty or upset with himself for neglecting your feelings. he'd try to get you to leave the party but it seems like you have your mind set. he'd try one more time: "no, we're going." you'd scoff at him—holy shit you scoffed at him! "no we are not," you'd shoot back, but this is when you start to feel your resolve crumble. the emotions you've been feeling for the past hour are catching up to you at record speed and having cheol stand in front of you and not sitting by your side is enough to have the familiar, stinging knot tie up in your throat. "okay fine," he'd reply, turning on his heel so fast that it'd have you spinning and reaching out to grab the hem of his jacket before he gets too far away. you won't meet his eye when he turns around, looking at the ground when you speak, "fine, let's go." you're barely audible but cheol would get the message, locking his fingers with yours to pull you up and out of this house. you won't say anything as he leads you outside and into the car, and cheol doesn't speak either as he climbs into the drivers seat. his expression would be unreadable, making the sinking feeling in your stomach plummet even further.

"i wasn't flirting with jiwoon," cheol says after a few minutes of silence, eyes still on the road. you don't say anything for a few seconds, arms crossed over your chest as you look out the window, tears threatening to spill. "well she was," you finally would shoot back, slumping further into your seat. your voice would come out wobbly and you can only pray that cheol doesn't noti—"don't cry, please," he murmurs, reaching a hand out to rest on your thigh. "we were supposed to have fun tonight." you'd think that if he's already caught you there's no point in hiding it, letting your tears fall onto your thighs with some landing on cheol. "seems like you were having the time of your fucking life," you murmur, not daring to look at him. "you know i wasn't," he says, and you reply almost immediately. "then why didn't you come to me?" you cry out, the silent tears gushing out now, not realizing that you've reached the parking lot of your guys' apartment complex. once he's parked, cheol would look over you with a frown, cupping your face with the hand that wasn't on your thigh. "baby, you were with your friends and i was with my friends and jiwoon just happened to be there, i swear i didn't even talk to her that much. if i had known you didn't like it then i wouldn't have done it." he'd wipe away your tears and honestly, him saying that would be enough to wash way your sadness too. "i know," you'd mumble, looking off into the distance. "then why're you so upset baby?" your cheeks would be on fire at the question, suddenly embarrassed by your brash actions. "she made me really mad, cheol," you would confess finally meeting his gaze, not missing the playful glint in his eyes as he plants a kiss on your forehead. "you have nothing to worry about baby, i love you so much, you know that." you unbuckle your seatbelt after that, moving to exit the car along with cheol, a small grin creeping its way onto your face. "maybe you'll have to just how much."

it's no question he basically fucked you into the mattress that night. considering your "party night" got cut early, you both had to make up for it somehow. usually cheol would be a bit of a mean dom, definitely into the idea of 'punishing' you for being bratty but after seeing and feeling your tears, he doesn't have the heart to do anything when this was pretty much his fault. definitely has you cumming at least three to four times, making sure that you understand just how much he loves you.

wonwoo

you wouldn’t know what exactly you’d had in mind for this dinner out with your and wonwoo’s friends, but it definitely wouldn’t be this. if anything, you’re friend(?) coming up to you with a smirk saying, “when did wonwoo get so hot?” would be the last thing you expect. you’d just furrow your eyebrows, shrugging off the comment as the familiar, nasty knot pools at the bottom of your stomach. trying your best to brush off both your feelings and jiwoon’s statement, which you try to justify as an ill-placed but not ill-intentioned comment, you scoot a little closer to wonwoo’s side in the restaurant booth while the ten of you get settled in. he’d wrap an arm around your shoulder instinctively, but if you’re being honest, it does little to quell the cold feeling that comes over you when you watch jiwoon glance over at your boyfriend definitely more than once or twice. you wouldn’t want to bring it up with wonwoo, at least not right now—it’s a nice night and he’s enjoying himself, and you’d be a fool to let a little jealousy try and take that away from him.

of course, a little jealousy turns into a lot and you grow increasingly quiet as the night progresses, eventually causing your boyfriend’s worried eyes to fall on your figure next to him. eyes boring into yours when you catch him staring, you quickly try to turn away before he speaks. “everything okay?” he asks quietly as the rest are eating and continuing the conversation. the grimace on your face is more than apparent—you’d be stupid to try and convince him that there’s nothing bothering you. still, you’re a bit…frustrated. jiwoon has been making off hand remarks the entire night—things like, “wow wonwoo, i didn’t know you were such a gentleman,” or “wow, you must be so lucky to have wonwoo”—and you’re slightly (very) annoyed that wonwoo hasn’t picked up on her not-so-subtle hints yet. maybe it’s the pettiness coming out—no, it definitely is. “nothing,” you’d say in response, giving him a nonchalant shrug which, despite your words, is intended to give him the message that ‘there’s something wrong but i’m going to be a brat and not tell you.’ message received, you’d think when you see the look on wonwoo’s harden slightly. “so are you going to tell me or not,” he retorts. you turn away from him, leaning forward to take a bite out of your meal. “dunno,” you’d murmur with a shrug. you can tell he’s tense next to you but you wouldn’t do anything, hoping it would give him the encouragement to figure it out on his own.

wonwoo would be pissed. he wouldn’t really know what’s got you in this sour but he knows that you only ever be bratty like this when it has something to do with him—any other case and you’d be clinging by his side and pretty much begging for his comfort and attention. he would try to retrace the events of the night, thinking of all the things he said and did to you trying to place where he went wrong. the whole situation only really clicks for him when he catches you glaring hard at jiwoon—well not really. it doesn't make perfect sense to him yet, but when he says something and catches jiwoon looking at him in some sort of way, that's when it fully clicks. wonwoo would be a bit...endeared actually. i feel like he'd love the idea that you love him enough to be so jealous and petty over a girl he couldn't give two flying fucks about, but he also knows that this isn't the time to joke around. you're obviously upset and trying to be stubborn and that is arguably one of the hardest things to deal with. you're pretty much silent for the rest of the night, hardly contributing the the conversation and wonwoo really wants to leave now knowing that you aren't having a good time, but he also knows that you wouldn't want to make a scene or anything by leaving early, so he just settles for keeping a hand on your thigh for the rest of the meal before he excuses the both of you and basically drags you by the wrist to take you home.

you'd still be silent on the way to the car, letting out a small huff as you'd cross your arms over your chest after putting on your seatbelt. after wonwoo starts the engine, he'd look over you with That Look. "baby," he'd say somewhat sternly. you'd look out the window, thinking of things to say. "i hate you," you'd say finally and you don't miss the way wonwoo grips the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles are bright white. "for looking so good," you'd add to clarify, sinking into your seat with embarrassment. whatever traces of anger that stemmed from your jealousy withered away, leaving you in a rather pouty and sulky state instead. wonwoo chuckles softly, "jealous much?" you'd frown, finally meeting his gaze so you could confide. "you know what jiwoon said to me?!" you whine. he raises a brow at you at the red light, encouraging you to go on. "she said 'when did wonwoo get so hot?' what the fuck! who says that? especially to his girlfriend?!" you start complaining, throwing your hands in the air out of frustration. "and she kept on looking at you, like who does she think she is? i swear to god if i ever fucking see her again i'll—" wonwoo laughs and puts his hand on your thigh, squeezing tightly to shut you up. "baby," he'll say sternly again. "you know you're the only one i love, right? i don't care about jiwoon." you pout. "okay? that won't stop her from caring about you!" wonwoo laughs again at your outrage, and although you're still a little bit upset, you can feel the irritation you once felt fading away, morphing into a more playful sort of feeling.

when you guys get home, wonwoo would waste no time throwing you onto the bed and eating you out until you're in tears and SUPER sensitive. his excuse would be something along the lines of how your brattiness distracted him from dinner, so you should give him a second meal agagaga something cheesy like that.

mingyu

i feel like mingyu would be the type to get jealous easily which means that he definitely knows the signs from the very start, from the way you're huffing with every word you say, your arms crossed over your shoulders, and shooting not-so-subtle glares. he'd honestly find it really...cute. you, on the other hand, would be fuming. you hate the way jiwoon is looking at your boyfriend even though you know she knows he's taken. you catch the way mingyu's looking at you and you would know that he sees your jealousy, but something inside of bubbles up in anger at the way he's...not really doing anything about it. okay, it isn't as if he's flirting back with jiwoon, and he's hardly looking at her, but you would just wish that he'd do something. you're too stubborn, and mingyu may know that you're jealous but he doesn't know that you are definitely going to drag this out. instead of clinging to his side like you usually do at parties, you huff at the sight of mingyu talking with some people (one who just so happens to be jiwoon) and turn on your heel to retreat to a different room when he's not looking.

you aren't really sure what to expect after that—you would be half hoping to just be left alone but deep down you know that you want mingyu to chase after you. to leave all those people and leave jiwoon behind. he doesn't, and you aren't sure if it's because he doesn't care (you know this isn't true, but you can't help but see this as your first option when you're so emotional) or because he's just trying to press your buttons but whatever it is it has you a mess. you lock yourself in some random bathroom after a few moments of waiting for mingyu to follow, leaning against the closed door as you try to focus on anything but the current situation. mingyu would be in the other room slightly confused. he'd see you for one moment, focus on his conversation, and then look back to find you not there. he'd know you're jealous right now but he would just think you went to go grab a snack or something for a moment, so when you don't return within a few minutes he'd have to excuse himself, worrying that maybe you were more upset than he anticipated. he'd ask around for where you were when he couldn't find you in the main rooms, one of your friends begrudgingly letting him know that you told her you were going to one of the bathrooms and hadn't been back since. after that, it takes him hardly ten seconds to find the nearest bathroom, knocking on the door asking you to let him in. mingyu won't know what he expected but it certainly wasn't you opening the door almost immediately, looking awfully tired as there was some stupid game opened up on your phone.

"what are you doing?" he'd ask, closing the door behind him as you wouldn't meet his gaze. you shrugged, bringing your phone back up to your face to finish the game, sinking to the ground. "baby, talk to me," he'd say as he crouched down to be on your level, snatching the phone out of your hands. "hey!" you'd complain, trying to reach for it fruitlessly while mingyu—fucking giant—dangled it above your head. there's a smirk toying on his lips, and you're reminded of the whole situation—the one you'd been desperately trying to avoid—all over again, this time with tears welling up in your eyes. "if you're only going to actually talk to me just to annoy me then you might as well go back to jiwoon," you'd spit out, standing up so you could leave the bathroom that had provided you more solace than your boyfriend in the past half hour. mingyu frowns deeply after that, the smirk vanishing off his face immediately as he grabbed your wrist, pulling away from the door. "i'm sorry, i didn't realize you were actually upset about," he'd murmur, pulling you into his arms, feeling more guilty than anything. "why wouldn't i be upset?" you'd shoot back, your voice wobbly, "she was basically shooting heart eyes at you and you just let her!" now mingyu would start to feel like an even bigger idiot. "i'm sorry, you're right i should have stopped her. i just thought it was cute that you were getting jealous, i didn't mean to actually make you sad," he'd ramble. "you know i love you so much—only you."

you'd be pouting right now, tears not really pouring anymore but still staining your cheek as mingyu would bring up a hand to brush them off. "i'm really sorry baby—so sorry. i didn't mean to make you cry; never wanted that." you'd let out a small huff but lean into mingyu's touch, much to his relief. after you'd murmur your quiet, "i love you," he'd be kissing you so passionately you would think you couldn't breathe. "let me," he'd gasp between kisses as he was feeling up your body and wrapping his strong arms around your thighs to lift you onto the bathroom counter, "show you how much i love you." how could you say no? he eats you out and fingers you hard in the bathroom, and you would be lying if you said you didn't moan his name extra loud when you both heard jiwoon knocking on the door, asking if mingyu was in there. safe to say she didn't bother you or mingyu once for the rest of the night—not that she'd have the chance anyways, since mingyu basically pulled you to the car after making you cum on his fingers so he could fuck you another few times at home.

vernon

vernon is interesting. it would be hard for you to get mad at him out of jealousy simply because he's very perceptive and if there's anything he hates it would be seeing you upset over something that's within his control. if he's ever in the scenario where he even thinks someone is flirting with him, or trying to make moves, he'd tell you RIGHT AWAY! like either text you or let you know personally if you are in the room with him. some things are out of his control, of course, like tonight. you were hesitant to go out with this group of friends since there would be a lot of new people that both you and vernon didn't really know. he seemed eager though, excited to try something new, so you didn't protest, going happily along with him to this day at the carnival. but currently, you were anything but happy. there's definitely a girl who's got her eyes set on vernon and no matter how much you hold his hand, how much you cling to his side, how much you try to show her that he is yours, jiwoon just doesn't fucking seem to get the message.

vernon would pick up on your sour mood right away—like i said, he's super perceptive and WILL make sure that he's doing everything he can to diffuse the situation. he'd direct the both of you away from her, although you can't help but notice how that doesn't really stop her sparring glances. "baby," he'd finally murmur to you, "let's just ignore her," he'd suggest, pulling you closer to his side (honestly, there's no way you can be mad at him in this situation). "you're right," you'd mumble in response, looking over his shoulder to catch jiwoon staring at vernon AGAIN! "fucking hell does she think i'm blind or something? i swear to god if she tries to look at you one more time i might just sock her in the face right here and now!" you whisper-yell. vernon chuckles at your heated response, pressing a kiss to your lips. "maybe you should. that would be funny," he admits. "you're cute when you're mad," he'd add too, and you wouldn't be sure if your face's burning from being jealous or from vernon's compliment. whatever it is, it has you looking away bashfully, causing vernon to laugh some more.

honestly, you won't really be mad at him BUT you would be pouty and sulky the entire day, much to vernon's amusement. when you guys finally get home, you don't even let him get to the living room before you're smashing your lips on his with a year's worth of pent up frustration. honestly, you feel bad for being a bit grumpy all day despite vernon trying to make you feel not jealous so you figure you can repay him with some really good head and let me tell you vernon LOVES head. i said it once and i'll say it again but oral is like his ambrosia and the entire time he'll be praising you so good it nearly brings you to your own release. that and you know that jiwoon would never even be able to imagine making vernon feel as good as you are right now hehe.

[luvtak]

jealousy, jealousy, skz

✧ pairing 0t8 x gn!reader

✧ genre/tw fluff!!! disgusting beautiful fluff, the tiniest smidgeon of angst… jealousy (obvs), just boys being cute and whiny lol

✧ w/c 2262 (around 250 each)

✧ a/n literally stayed up all night writing this lmao, hope you like it <333

Chan: So jealous immediately. I think he feels a lot of ownership over the people he loves, not in a weird toxic way, more like ‘these are my people and I'm going to love and protect them’ way, so when anybody looks or speaks to you in flirty ways, he gets uncomfortable really fast. Tries so hard not to make it noticeable or jeopardize your good mood, but is actually so upset about the situation it’s hard to hide. His body language changes right away, all of his easy posture and quick laughs disappear and all that’s left is little smiles and taut muscles. It has less to do with someone thinking his s/o is pretty and more to do with not knowing if the person is dangerous or not, and worrying for your physical and emotional safety–last thing he wants is for you to be hurt in any way, and having someone blatantly look at you reminds him that truly anything can happen :( I don’t think he could be jealous of the Kids at all, they’re literally his children like what are they gonna do? Thinks it's so cute when they hug you or ask for help with something, and wants more than anything for you to get along, so he’s only happy when you do. Only tells you he was jealous when you’re alone laying in bed at night, talking about anything and everything and admitting to be upset about the whole experience. Genuinely so confused when you tell him you know, and never learns that he is so obvious with his emotions–whether positive or negative.

Minho: Honestly, I don’t think he really does get jealous… He seems so secure to me that I feel like it wouldn’t even cross his mind to get upset, actually likes it a little–you’re beautiful and you’re his and he’s proud of that. Except for if it’s one of the other boys, then suddenly very annoyed and possessive haha. Not that he thinks any of them would actually do anything with you, but I think it just hits closer to home–like they could. He is a little mean about it at first, but it quickly becomes sulking, like a child not getting enough attention. His hold on your thigh gets tighter and his fingers wound with yours start pressing in more so it hurts a little, I can see him spacing out a little too–inwardly thinking about all the reasons the person thinks what they’re doing is alright. Most of the time, the boys aren’t doing anything, but something specific they do or say triggers the jealousy and won’t go away. He’s a boy who won’t come clean right away (even though you know exactly what’s happening), instead he waits till you go to bed to press himself on top of you and whine about how rude it was that they were flirting with you (they were not). Needs endless validation and physical reminders of your love for him before he goes back to being himself. Always acts like it didn’t happen in the morning and will laugh at you for thinking it was possible he could have felt that way, while having admitted to it 9 hours before. 

Changbin: Very, very cute about his jealousy. Would never mention that it bothers him, wouldn’t point out someone’s stares or ask you to change anything about yourself to garner less attention. Is so proud of his little baby being so pretty they get noticed, but that doesn’t take away the fact that people shouldn’t come up to you. His jealousy would be so specific, he wouldn’t really care if it was just stares or people checking you out, but as soon as someone tries to make a move he is seething. Stares them up and down and looks so intimidating that even you are a little shocked, keeps this attitude until you leave and then needs to be coddled and loved until he will be back to normal. Loves how close to the boys you are but hates how that means he has to share you, he loves being the only one to know special things about you and gets grumpy so quick when he realizes other people know things too. Becomes so, so, so clingy when he’s jealous–hands never leaving your skin, not even for a second. His a million kisses a day becomes two million and he will be stitched to your side. Needs at least a two week recovery period where he is babied and taken care of before he can get over the silly feelings and remember how in love you are. Will not admit to it ever, it could be years in the future and he’d still say you didn’t know what you were talking about. Tries to act so tough, but is really just the sweetest boy to ever exist. 

Hyunjin: Gets jealous over silly things and will make it your problem; most of the times it's just a joke, something to get you to fawn all over him and kiss him a dozen times. But because of this, it’s hard to tell when he really is jealous, characterized by melodrama and many questions asking if you’ve ever thought about not being with him come out after someone shoots their shot with you and fails. He is such a romantic that his s/o not being as fully in as he is would be something that would really worry him. Most of the time he can see how in love you are and recognize how strong your relationship is, but as soon as there is someone getting in the way of that it would be hard for him to ignore. I can’t see him getting too jealous over the boys, but would improvise drama level monologues of jealousy if he sees you sitting a little close to one of them on the sofa. One of the only boys where I think he would try to make it up to you, while the others may need comfort from their s/o, I think Hyunjin would feel guilty for second-guessing your relationship even if it was a completely normal emotion he felt toward it. Gives slow kisses and soft sorry’s for hours before he can listen to you tell him why you’re not mad. Loves so hard and so well that jealousy is such a malignant feeling to him, that he would try to separate himself and your relationship from it as soon as he could. 

Han: Truly his worst nightmare. He would be such a cozy, sweet, domestic partner that it would probably be pretty rare to go out somewhere instead of staying in, and his mood would be demolished so fast if someone was looking at you or hitting on you in any way. Overthinking and anxiety flow as soon as he notices, and really needs to work his way up to confronting the situation. I believe he would succumb to his thoughts a little and need a lot of comfort from you to feel better about it. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you, or think anything could ever happen, but it’s such a reminder of the uncertainty that life brings that it makes him sad. Another one who wouldn’t really get jealous around the boys, but there are specific situations that would bring him down a little–like say you shared a snack with Hyunjin or watched his favorite movie with Seungmin, he is about to become a murderer. Just couldn’t take you doing any casually domestic activity with anyone else that it would annoy him to see it happen. Will be in desperate need of kisses and cuddles to make him feel better, but if he is jealous enough he may pretend like he doesn’t want any just so you could insist and unconsciously give him that validation that he needs. Demands at least two days of pure movie time with you to feel fully back to normal, and will in fact throw a fit if those needs are not met. He is just a sweet, pouty baby normally so it’s not surprising that under the right conditions these traits get magnified tenfold, but it’s okay because he’s so cute. 

Felix: About to cry fr. I feel like he doesn’t like feeling any negative emotions associated with you, so when he does it hurts him beyond belief. Trusts you with his life, but as soon as he hears someone hitting on you he gets so sad. Hates that other people can talk to you lol, would rather the only people you speak to be your friends, his friends and your loved ones. He’s not possessive at all, but I do think he genuinely worries about people speaking to you and hurting your feelings or making you uncomfortable, so with the jealousy he is also just so concerned about the person's intentions. Sometimes I think he’d get really mad too, he is such a lovey person that there is no world in which everyone in the area doesn’t know he’s your boyfriend, so when anyone comes up to you he would also be confused at why they thought that was okay. Somehow gets even closer to you; fully wrapped around your bones like a secondskin, walking everywhere with you like you’re doing a three-legged race, a million kisses pressed everywhere his eyes can see. I don’t think he would get jealous about one of the boys being too close to you, he loves you all so much and trusts everyone that it wouldn’t even cross his mind to be jealous about it unless he was making a joke. He is definitely the fastest of all the boys to admit to it, he is so emotionally intelligent and kind that he’d let you know as soon as he felt it was a good time. In conclusion, he is a precious angel and we all know it. 

Seungmin: Genuinely the most annoying little gremlin. Turns it on you immediately as if somehow you asked the person to keep sneaking peeks at you. Literally starts making fun of you, mockingly saying ‘wow you’re sooo pretty’ to cover up how upset he actually is about it. I feel like he gets confused when other people find you attractive, not because you’re not, but because you’re his and he just doesn’t think anyone should be looking at you for too long. Will not listen to you that maybe if he actually acted like your boyfriend in public people wouldn’t hit on you haha, he doesn’t see how never touching you and constantly teasing you doesn’t read boyfriend. If it’s one of the boys he’s jealous of and not just some rando, god save them; the meanest glares and most biting jokes he can come up with. Fronts so much in public, but as soon as you’re behind doors he is all over you–kisses all over and a dozen reminders about how much he loves you. Laughs in your face when you ask him if he was jealous, ‘do you want me to be?’ with the biggest side eye. Although I do think he is secretly a huge sap when it comes to his s/o, and will not accept you thinking he doesn’t care even if pretends he doesn’t, so apologizes really quickly if he sees you getting hurt by the nonchalance. Even though he won’t admit to it for at least a week, (everyone knows he was upset about it), he’s taking that to his grave–at least until you look at him for a little too long and he gets freaked out and cops to it lmao. 

Jeongin: The fussiest little baby. Like seriously, pouting/stomping feet/crocodile tears fussy baby. See’s someone looking at you at a coffee shop and immediately begins overthinking: ‘do they like them?’ ‘Is that person cuter than me?’ ‘They know we’re a couple right? Right?!’ This all happens in a series of five minutes. Now, he isn’t the most touchy in public–mostly just a hand on your back or fingers intertwined in your pocket, but it should be obvious enough that you’re there together. Immediately stares at the person, all while pretending he isn’t upset, but you can tell right away. For one, the hand on your back suddenly wraps around your tummy to press your back against his front and his head leans down to curl into your neck. Secondly, and most importantly he starts whining about how pretty you are. Not in a cutesy way, like he’s genuinely frustrated that you’re good looking, so pretty that other people notice it too. His bottom lip is jutted out and his eyes are so wide, and you just know. You won’t say anything until you get home for fear of embarrassing him, but he’s noticeably more touchy throughout the day; holding you to him around the boys and glaring at any stranger who looks at you too long. Gets jealous even faster if it's about one of the Kids, has no idea why Chan would be talking to you that long and tries to will him away with his mind–is so embarrassed when you tell him what you were really talking about lol because it was definitely him. When you finally ask him about it later he’ll laugh and act like you’re crazy, as if he hadn’t been acting like a lunatic all day, until apologizing and yelling at you for being too beautiful. All in all very cute and pouty and very charming <3 

© luvtak

[st4w3]

Washing Machine Heart

“I Know Who You Pretend I Am”

pairing: ben hargreeves/sparrow!ben x reader

warnings: angst

notes: i love angst and i love ben so decided to hurt myself and write this hope you guys love and leave feedback if you can(:

summary: in where you’re just using sparrow Ben

You felt bad for Ben, you did but you couldn’t let him go so easily.

When you were a kid you had grown fond of Ben Hargreeves though people would often try to paint him as a monster you knew that wasn’t the person he was. You first met Ben in a hostage situation where you were at and Ben had helped you escape and soon after you two would run into each other again.

Ben and you would become friends and even more than that as you two began to grow. Ben was there for you at your lowest moments and you were there for him too. He would comfort you when your dad would hit you and you were there for him when his dad would treat him horribly and when the medias words would get to him as he was called a monster.

You had loved Ben and had promised each other that one day you would run away together but that never happened. His sister Allison had to break the news to you one day when you went to his house, she would look at you with pity and say, “Ben died on a mission. I’m sorry.”

Her words left you broken all you could do was cry, she would try her best to comfort you but yet you couldn’t hold your tears. She soon would take you to your house and would leave you on your bed as you cried your eyes out.

Before she left all she could say was “Ben loved you, I’m sure you will meet him again one day.” Then she left leaving you in distraught.

You and Ben’s siblings would soon travel around, they never left you alone knowing that’s what Ben would’ve wanted. You would soon be faced with chaos and trying to save the world and soon you would be met with Ben though he would truly never be your Ben.

You were stuck in another timeline, this timeline different than before as there was now a different academy living in Ben’s old place. They called themselves Sparrows and one of them held the same face as your Ben.

You looked at him and would mumble the words, “Ben is it really you?” You would try your best to hold your tears back and would feel Allison’s hands on your shoulder. Ben would just look at you with a weird look instead of the caring look that your Ben would’ve had.

A week after would pass and you would be met with this new Ben again. He would ask you questions about your old Ben and you two would get to know each other more. Though he had the same face as your Ben, they were entirely different but it didn’t matter to you.

This Ben was able to make you forget that pain you had before, you were able to think that this Ben was your Ben. Even though deep inside you knew he wasn’t but did it matter?

You and this Ben would soon grow close and he would confess his feelings towards you. You were surprised, I mean you should’ve been happy you had a second chance on living the life you never had with the old Ben but yet you knew nothing could compare to him.

You however would accept his feelings and would tell him that you had also liked him. You two would eventually become a couple and you were happy for a few weeks but soon you would go back to being sad and lonely.

Though you had this Ben, it didn’t feel the same as your other Ben. Your feelings didn’t feel real, you were just using him and you knew that.

He had also started to realize that you were just using him, he wanted to let you go but he was to afraid too, you were the only thing in his life that kept him balanced and happy.

You knew you were hurting him and you knew that it wasn’t fair to him but you needed to hold on to him just for you to be happy. You couldn’t lose him again even though your feelings for him weren’t really genuine.

Whenever you looked at him all you could see was your Ben, you would see all your memories and love you had for him.

Ben was hurt but so were you. One day when you were in bed together, he would look at you with love in his eyes and and he would whisper to you, “I know you pretend that I’m your Ben.”

You were hurt by his confession, you hated that you were hurting him. You wanted to reach out to him and hold him but before you could he would turn over facing the wall now.

You should’ve let him go and stopped the relationship after his confession but you couldn’t and neither could he. You guys would forever be in this never ending cycle of heartbreak and using each other.