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#i want to balance them being fun and having meaning vs not making the process hell YOU KNOW
paging-possum · 3 months
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Debating how much pussy to put into these drawings
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macgyvertape · 8 months
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Castlevania Nocturn s1 thoughts/liveblog
This season more like Castlevania: colonialism, and power structures that support it
For a Symphony of the Night adaptation the inclusion of symphonic and operatic music was fantastic, especially the attention to the times the music was diegetic vs nondiegetic
Really enjoyed how many outfit changes characters got, I really want some meta about the Emissary's costume changes because she has a wide range of outfits from modern to 2 different historical ones.
Favorite plotline: the whole Orlox/Mizrak relationship and both characters (it probably seems obvious based on what I focused on), least favorite plotline Richter gets his mojo/magic back based on processing grief aka vibes
Felt much more like a coming of age story line for the protagonists, and (without checking a timeline) them a few years younger than the series 1 Trevor/Sypha /Alucard
This show really balanced well the introduction of the cosmic threat (cat goddess filling Dracula’s place) vs local threat (Emissary here vs leader night creature s1 of main show) in a way I haven't seen since s1 of the original show
more liveblog notes below cut
I knew going in Olrox was gay, a fan favorite favorite of blogs I check, and had gifs portraying him sympathetically. Funny how that probably influenced my initial impression of the opening
Lmao of course the abbey is on the evil vampire side considering I saw gifs beforehand of one of the guys with Olrox. (edit: funny that Olrox isn’t with the main vampire group at that time in the season, so I was right about the alliance for the wrong reason) 
I like how the Emissary's clothing is so modern I can't tell if she's wearing hoof heels or has cloven feet
Edouard’s singing sounded super awkward without musical backing, sure the fact its Dido's lament is foreshadowing. 
Edouard has a tailcoat, I didn’t expect to see it during this time period considering this is before the Regency. Olrox is wearing a frock coat, that’s older style?
Oooh wish they had done the fight to Vivaldi’s summer presto instead and made it nondiegetic music vs generic action music
Devil forgemaster automation!? Note to self check when first steam engine is and the Victorian times which is when I usually thing steam/magic punk
Also lmao Olrox gets the last word again
Ok so they have the French aristocrat vampires doubling as confederate vampires with the explicit colonialism slavery
Do we get more evil lesbian vampries with a take over the world plan?
I’m glad night creatures are a thing here too, its such fun monster designs
Real inversion of Castlevania’s Isaac having forge mastering be freedom from slavery and here it be a process used by the institution of the church as a method of slavery
How does “we need a plan” mean “children with no experience of the world and no experience of the hard choices adults make” in Annette’s response and not have a response because the subject changes??? Like Richter has a point about snapshot moral decisions, 2 or 4 doesn’t have experience so they should really work out any difference of opinion
Oh no the last alive mother figure keeps being helpful that’s a death flag 
Damn lol Olrox and abbey sword guy were dtf Grindr quick. Ass shot!! lmao having that final conversation about demons and Olrox is doing it leaning back, legs spread, dick out 
Can’t wait to see how it goes paying that price, what demon and Olrox’s seemingly invested question “will you [pay the price]” edit: season 1 seems to have ended demon consequence free
The world building this season seems so much richer and broader than the previous Castlevania series, all these different types of demons, magic users, gods, and spirits
Nick pick note: ok the waterproofing can’t be good enough for water to not flow down the staircase into the cellars and give away the secret passage. ask me how I know water loves to travel into basements
I'm enjoying the Emissary's ahistorical fashion in modern club/bdsm gear. Holy shit the “all about sex with you priests, every orifice I have has teeth” holy shit vagina dentata. I literally had to rewind to make sure I heard that correctly 
When Maria’s mother was pushing the stone and talking about being there for people she loves I was thinking “wow considering the hair colors for Maria it  would be funny if the Abbot was her father because it would explain why Maria’s mother, a speaker, would be so defensive of him. But surely they won’t be that tropey predictable” then as soon as the eyes met I was like LMAO
Interesting that Olrox chose then to step in vs letting Mizrak fight Belmont, since maybe he’d be better off letting the Emissary get killed
Love vampires talking with vampires about being an immortal being trapped in the shadows as they power play each other 
“You’re the one with the brand on your forehead” this was such a metal af scene burning the slaver vampire in a cage of crosses. Especially the extremely distorted fisheye focus on the symbol that distort’s the vampries face even creepier 
Oh that’s a good shot of Maria being visually isolated in the black of the Abotts’s cloak when she learns he’s her father, with a bit of visual exaggeration.  The selected impressionism animation in this series is great
The Emissary is now in her second period style outfit (red militaryish tailcoat) the first being the black outfit worn for the funeral/graveyard that looked a lot more rococo aristocratic 
Wait wat, so the vampire messiah look like a white woman with red hair wearing double side petticoats in the European aristocrat style, who has a Russian name and was living in snowy Russia, but she’s talking like she is Sekhmet despite having no Egyptian characteristics at all. Like she looks nothing like the Emissary who is Egyptian. What’s up with that?
Grandpa Belmont is somehow beating “I attacked my son and devastated a country Dracula” in worst hurting a family member reaction to grief IMO
Lacrimosa is GOATed really just best choice to include for this moment especially how they did it with nondiegetic string accompaniment in Edouard’s PoV but that cuts out with the shift to Mizrak/Olrox PoV
“I love everything about adding tension to the relationship and denial of feelings with: "is [turning me into a vampire without permission] what you had planned for me" “Of course not… I’m not in love with you”
Fucking gun axe, and did the vampires just sit around listening to the family drama to know so much 
Nooo don’t hang a lampshade on an ending line be “witty, cunning, and brutal” then say “fuck it” which fits the standard 
Power play the Messiah calling Olrox a dragon when he turned into a Quetzalcoatl in ep1, and then doing a show of force to force him from an insincere bow into a deep on. You can tell he’s fucking pissed off
“Just read the fucking book” and Orlox gets the last word again lmao
Lmao the very on the nose bible verse lines “lift up thy feat” when the birds lift Maria up, the line about slipping after she nearly slips. Wonder what was done first; picking the psalm (Psalms 73:2-5) or the animation direction?
So I thought the vampire messiah was supposed to be an a fraud in identity, but damn she can control the moon. Or was Selhmet not a delusion but a actual magic being waiting to possess her and take over, as seen by the physical transformation to part cat?
I guess Orlox does care enough for Mizrak to get involved awww
Ah the establishing shot visible proof of the limit to the eclipse which doesn’t even cover all of France 
Love the angst breakup, Orlox/Mizrak favorite ship in the whole show
It felt obvious the mother figure character wouldn’t last the whole season but I wasn’t expecting her to be turned
Word Effect where The Emissary is built up as a power threat the whole season then she’s 1 hit KO to show Alucard’s power 
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nenilein · 8 months
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Thoughts on writing longer form fics/fiction vs shorter form?
Oh, a lot! Let's see...
I think both are extremely difficult but also extremely fun in their own ways.
Shortform fiction is a challenge for me, because it means I need to clearly delineate what belongs into it and what doesn't. Focus on what should be there and include that. What aids the theme? What drives the story to its soon goal? How can I make sure everything flows together into a series of striking and effective moments without wasting and time? If you fail on this selection process, the short story will meander and leave the reader confused by the end, especially if things that clearly need to be resolved are left unresolved. (Note: Some unresolved threads can be effective for a powerful ending, but they need to be purposeful unresolved. If you start a seemingly important subplot about a character going through something important and then never do anything with it and don't tie it into any theme, you've just wasted the reader's attention and time). The big advantage of shortform fiction is that you can make a meaningful statement and create powerful emotion much more quickly and powerfully than if you have to set up an entire world and cast first. Longform fiction requires you to capture and keep your reader's attention for much longer, which means you'll have to employ soooome level of "manipulation" to keep them hooked that shortform wouldn't need.
Longform fiction, however, has the advantage of giving you space. You don't want your character's entire existence to be suffering? well, longform gives you time to balance the good with the bad. There are some jokes you really wanna do and aspects of your world and characters you really wanna explore, but they aren't anything that fits into a single compact, thoroughly themed story? Well, longform allows for detours that let you take a look at these things. (Though, these detours still need to be curated, interesting and ultimately serve a purpose. Losing a reader's attention can happen waaaay too quickly and once it happens, it's the death knell for your audience retention). However, long form fiction also has the problem that it gives you too much space. When it feels like you can include everything, you often want to include everything. That's an issue I've struggled with a lot in the past. Soon, you'll find yourself with 500 characters and no way to properly use all of them. a lot of their stories won't aid the themes and intentions of your story at all. You'll produce side plots and even "filler arcs" that fall by the wayside and are forgotten and before you know it you fall into the "Bleach" conundrum where it seems like your story has totally lost sight of what it was about and you can't fix it anymore, because you've added so much fat to your story that can't be cut anymore.
Above all else, however, longform fiction is a commitment. As soon as your story grows too big for you to even comprehend it yourself anymore, that's when you're in trouble. You need to remember what happened! You need to remember all your characters' motivations, which developments they've already gone through and which they haven't and who knows who. If you lose track of that, your story will fragment beyond repair and your readers won't find keeping up with it satisfying anymore. That, as well as shifting fandom interests are the most common causes of longfics turning into dead fics, or, in the professional world, series being cancelled or book series being abandoned.
Ultimately the most important thing is to know your limits. How big does your story need to be? How big can you afford it being before maintaining it consumes too much of your life to be feasible? These are questions you should always ask yourself before you decide whether to focus your attention on short form or long form fiction. Of course, short form and long form also lend themselves to extremely different story types, so in the end it will also come down to what you want to write and how to make it effective... It's all a manner of having a feel for your own writing style!
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llycaons · 1 year
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ep13: oh, the misogyny
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wwx is finding a way to DISCREETLY get the formation to rest for lwj, who is walking on a broken leg, and still jc is like 'what the fuck did you do now' like damn jc he can't do anything right. makes that post about jc hero-worshipping wwx and copying what he does and idolizing him even funnier
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wwx and jc gossiping about wlj is so mean. of course she can't carry a sword, she never learned how! she was a maid. they're clearly judging her for sleeping her way into a position of power, but I see you wen chao I know it's more on you than on her
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wwx falling down/out of/off things. first of many!
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this is a really pretty shot ngl the water is lovely
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wlj being positioned as the jealous, spiteful mistress using her power to harm a Good Woman is so shitty. they both were treated (in this arc) as one-dimensional tools to support the arcs of the men around the. wlj I know the writing did you dirty but you will always be a legend to ME for miss 'ghosts don't exist'
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interesting moment - it's actually lwj who steps in to defend mm with jzx. wwx looks like he wants to, but jc shakes his head and wwx ultimately stays put. it's cool to see lwj and wwx trade off scenes that establish them as willing to defy authority and risk attack for the sake of protecting the vulnerable. it makes their ideals and goals feel truly mutual and balanced rather than wwx coming in and inspiring lwj to have a moral code (as is sometimes interpreted by fans)
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this fight scene is genuinely REALLY fun and well-crafted. jzx and lwj have some sick moves, as do jc and wwx
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WEI WUXIAN ICONIC MOMENTS. god I love it when he points out the hypocrisy of the great sects and the cultivation world. why is this scene never talked about! it's literally one of the best from him in this arc
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again a TRAGEDY that this significant moment between them chalks up to an angsty subplot for wwx and lwj later on. it's a fucking good aspect of their relationship and it does compel me like lwj drunk-branding himself is INSANE and I'll never get over it but the misogyny 😭
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wwx shot three arrows at once and took out wlj and mm's two guards without hitting mm herself LEGEND
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she is literally the only wen with an understanding of how politics work
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FAMOUS LAST WORDS. my dude you just locked the teenager who's going to torture you to death in a cave with the weapon he's going to use to do it
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this is literally such a fucking funny joke. slept on. also wwx does take serious situations seriously but he also sometimes does this. I don't even blame jc for being like 'are you serious right now'
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YOU ARE BOTH SO USELESS. SCREAM
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of COURSE mm is the one to slip and cut her hand and release blood to awaken the monster. of course it had to be her
I'd say that she deserved better but honestly after this her arc really rules and she's one of the few characters to get a happy ending so I can't be too mad
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this scene is wild. lwj jumps in and THROWS wwx behind him like 20 ft
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jc yelling at wwx to be careful and promising to come back. aw man
also WHY ARE THEY ALL LEAVING. wouldn't it be much easier to kill the false xuanwu if they stay and work together? I don't think wwx even expected lwj to stay with him. he was really ready to stay there and fight it off alone and maybe die in the process. he's unwell!
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okay this has always bothered me. WHERE DOES HE FIND THE STICKS THEY ARE UNDERGROUND
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that underrobe is so beautiful purely on an aesthetic level ugh he has such good taste. also I like that you can see his bare skin under it like HOW hot was that branding iron jfc
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EVIDENCE!!!! EVIDENCE for my 'wwx is intimidated by lwj's earnestness and his fears around commitment/the strength of his own feelings cause him to avoid his feelings because getting too attached/too serious is scary for him even tho deep down he craves it'
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wwx casually asserting getting scars/being injured as a...sexy and impressive sort of triumph of masculinity (?) as a young teenager vs. his devastated expression seeing lwj's scars as an adult. he has so much to learn
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this translation is so weird. just say inedia?
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W8 - AGI Open 2023
On Monday I had the privilege of attending the Alliance Graphique Internationale with a free ticket from AUT! This was a super exciting opportunity and I walked away from it with lots of insights and ideas (and freebies). Below are the notes I made for (most) speakers, a well as some highlights which I will expand on further:
Day 1 - 18/09/23
Taku Satoh
Hodo hodo - just enough
Balance and elegance when just right
Furoshiki
Everything in moderation
Knowing when to stop
Leave room for things to resonate
Water-based glue
Changing the rep of chewing gum so packaging design cannot look like gum
Astrid Stavro
Leap before you look
Curiosity and doubt
Eli wiesel
Interview magazine
Penguin education - type as image
Grid notepads
Fear and making mistakes
Dont work for money
Azimuth festival - saudi arabi
Keep it simple stupid
Starting over
Irene Pereyra
Anton & irene ux
To seel something new, make it familiar and to sell something familiar, make it new
M+ museum - hong kong
We judge usability by its beauty and aesthetics
Atm interface study
Aesthetic usability effect
We dont mind making the effort
Shantelle martin
Henrik Kubel
Important to have a clear brief in kahoots with client
Paul Garbett
Seeing things book
We create whatever we observe
Paredolia - seeing faces in things, seeing meaninful images in objects and patterns
Presence - paying attention with intention
The act of observation is an act of creativity
Dean Poole
Nz’s elemental nature
Raw sophistication
Humanism
Culturistic rituals
Meaning in materials
Doesnt have to be loud
Design is about making decisions
Diecut leaves
Tracing shapes in landscape photography
Southern hemisphere snowman
Good shit soda
Ahn Sang-soo
Gaphis magazine
Anthropocene
PATI - students are taught to design their own lives and let their lives be completed by design
Pur ideas should stem from our hands
Elongate design by bodily experience
Just play!
A flower flourishes, spring comes
Alejandro Paul
Roma cafe in buenos aires
Balneario
Inspiration - travel - photography
Varietta
Rigatoni - bodoni
Sudtipos design agency
Paul Boudens
Fun is fundamental
Eddie Opara
The landcape, origin, history, life around really is what egins a bespoke desing process
Rectilinnear
The Joslyn, scott Pavilliam, hawks
Each building only uses the typeface desinged for it
Also desinging glyphs for omaha-ponca - native american language of the region
Animations
Regenerative narratives
Book Showcase
James Goggin
Ubi sunt
Titus kphar ted talk
Redaction.us - free typeface
Irony of this typeface being used in the legal system - unauthorised
Book is soft-bound bc hardcover still considered contraband in prisons
Cold glue vs hot glue
Minmin Qu + Qian Jiang
Stuart Geddes
Need to take advantage of books that are thick enough to write sideways on the spine
Jumping He
Carpets from art
Designing the life cycle of a book - another reading
Arch MacDonnell
Inhouse design
Books with john reynolds - “cloud of new zealand language”
Climate change - apocalypse o’clock
I want you to panic
Nikki Gonnissen
Thonik
Phil bloom - first naked woman on int. Tv
Inspirational women
Day 2 - 19/09/23
Paula Scher
marking something recognised + understood
silk-screen theatre posters
Public Theatre
page of scribbles - type made from scribbles
'banal'
digital, moving billboards
dingbat/scribble 'library' to use in system
find something and run with it
Stefan Sagmeister
the critic with bad news is seen as smarter than the critic with good news
embedding blocks of statistics in old paintings
mosaic insects on bike path
kids' hospital tunnels - Toronto
Now is Better - book
design should have a function
Lars Müller
Super Normal - book
sensations of the normal
Thomas Widdershoven
Thonik
the power of design
social
strategic
experimental
best iconic building award for their studio
Yah-Leng Yu
how do you get people to come into your museum?
look at the city - what do people like doing?
drawing the people of Singapore like to shop, so give them something they can shop for
what makes something look childish?
Kris Sowersby
Matarongo typeface with Johnson Witehira
Tatai Kapu Toi = typography
type is so subtle
distilling the essence of a rich culture and history into type
glyphs = wh, ng in cap-cap, cap-lower, lower-lower
Jonathan-Castro Alejos
Peru -> Netherlands
Panel
nomads set free + being a tourist
taking on international clients
cultural sensitivity
global climate
global market
country's politics
country's history
balance between corporate/client projects and projects that we do for ourselves
making money vs making things that make you happy
student = authenticity, purity
graduating = getting corrupted
how to stay relevant
where would you go first upon landing in a country where you don't know anyone and you don't speak the language?
Kenya Hara
'un-know the world'
using squares + circles to make sense of the universe
Re Design - daily products of the 21st century
long-life design
becoming
visualise + awaken
rhetorical figures
fruits disguised as other fruits
make things unknown and visualise it
muji
"frugal, but not feeling inferior to luxury"
muji 'concept' applied to other things
humans + cleaning
global vs local
"architecture must be the interpreter of the richness of the land"
cream knit turtleneck with yellow edges -> like working military gloves
mango (clothing brand) book
Stanley Wong
AnotherMountainMan
MTR: 'there are some things in life you can always count on'
Asaba's Diary - posters!
self-talking
"time will tell" - Einstein
creativity x values x time
Ariane Spanier
known knowns
known unknowns
unknown knowns
the free brief
feelings mixer app - Heavy Mental
colour
Fukt magazine
having facial blindness and drawing portraits
Highlights
It was really neat to see how real designers are always using what they know and what they are good at to influence their design process, no matter if it is a commercial or personal project. It was comforting to me to see that there doesn't always have to be this immense pressure to try something that you don't know anything about, or that you aren't good at, just for the sake of going out of your comfort zone. Although this is useful and can really expand a designer's horizons, it is not always necessary to be uncomfortable at all stages of a design process. Drawing on your interests and strengths is also a good way to create a successful outcome.
The calibre of presentations were top tier - they were engaging and 'guided your eye', and embodied all the tips we go over in class, such as limiting the number of words on a slide.
I was pleased at how this international conference still allowed for freedom of the hosting country to incorporate any necessary traditions or honours that are encouraged in that country. The conference opened with a Mihi and Waiata, which communicated to me that it was important for Alt Group and AGI to create a safe Māori space.
Kris Sowersby's talk was a huge highlight of mine. He broke down a new typeface that his is collaborating on with Johnson Witehira, called Matarongo. It was fascinating to see their process (iteration on iteration on iteration), right from the deep, rich research they did through to the varied typefaces that were created. So many things were considered - lower/upper case, sans/serif, extra glyphs, etc. I found that I gained a whole new appreciation for typography through watching his talk.
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kdipshit · 1 year
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Learning still ;
Do we manually turn on focused mode when talking about focused vs. diffuse mode? And is that why I’m always ‘bored’ coz Im always in diffuse mode? Focus is a difficult thing to learn, and yes I think I have to learn everything from the beginning, I need to know the laws I need to keep balance, the laws of life…. How my brain works, how I think, how I feel my emotions, how I process thoughts, all of that, needs to be learnt, and I can’t learn properly without first being in focus mode, the gathering mode, recieval mode, information is just pouring in, its not until we get to use our diffuse move where we turn around and place the info into the subcategories of your brain, organising and making sense of the information. One just doesn’t seem possible without the other. So I have to learn how to use these mods in order to actually learn anything.
My brain feels like its a lot of the info I’m storing is hoarded, or in the wrong places. So I’m at a point where I’m tying to reorganise my brain, gather info from myself, and renovate my head space. Its the least I could do hehe.
I can’t waste my days trying to find the meaning in everything, I can see the bigger picture and get a change to clean my lense while I’m at it, the meaning is productivity. If youre doing, there is always meaning. Ugh idk serial killers might read that and think I’m on their side I’m just rambling and probably talking to only a specific few….
Dont regret a single choice, even if your regret it, like if you decided to have a cone even tho you’re running low and you didn’t really need it, don’t regret those small choices, learn to accept your choice as they come naturally, you can learn to change them once you get to know them, you might even find our exactly why you make some decisions that may not be there best, but you do them anyways. I make choices every single day that I’m not exactly proud of, but they’re MY choices, an extension on ME, so ill fan love the shit out of them until they start acting right, I know they’re wrong, some bigger than others, some effects others, but they’re mind and I own them. i can tell you why I would do some of the bad things, give you all the reasons in the world, convince you, but it will still be burning in the bottom of my stomach.
What I’m trying to say is, I am okay with exactly who I am right now. My goals are reachable, I can see the person I want to become, and I can see how to get there, right now I am working on my actions, starting with my reactions. I can say all the fun things I want, but to live by my own word. That is the mani right there, its the changing who I am, and accepting the best version of myself. It may be hard and I may feel like I don’t even want it, but its a trick and I better keep going.
I am so happy to get some of this shit off my mind, its like I’m unravelling a chord filled with life from my brain, and just translating everything and putting it on paper, so I can read it. Writing every day has been such an escape, I love writing. I could do this shit all day, lol, well I could do this shit all day when I’m in this this mood I guess lol, I could actually write in almost any mood, even my I don’t wanna write moods, I can write in any mood.
The bad definitely outweighs the good, by bad feelings about writing : ‘I don’t want to write’… my good feelings about writing : it literally gives me life, its allowing my should to be expressed, I feel open and connected to my body, I feel like I’m learning so much, I just love the feeling of writing taking me away.
I always find comfort in the 1 bad thought, and then it consumes me. Sometimes all I can think about is not wanting to write. I guess I don’t want to be proactive lol, I’m learning a lot now, though. So its been easier to come to the keyboard. Easier to be proactive, easier to not feel guilt after zoning out, for I’m just in diffuse mode, no need to yank it back into focus mode, there is no rush. I feel peace here.
Writing helps me to construct my sentences, I kind of get muddled up trying to make sentence out loud. Helps my thought process slow down so I can see wtf I’m actually thinking about. I didn’t know I had a problem with living In my head, when I looked around and noticed I barely even look after myself, everything is an effort, and I had no hobbies, but so much fkn shit around me. Its time to clean this hoarding mess I’ve kept in my head, and live with the world. You think you the only one who doesn’t get to do the mani? Nah girl… up you get.
I think I learn by learning what is it not. Like how I just learn how to focus properly because I learnt what it actually is, focused mode is tunnel vision, I know what focused is because I know what its opposite is, diffuse. I know and understand the opposite because I know and understand focus. Do I make sense? Well I make sense to me, in a way that actually freaks me out, I’m like my own teacher, philosophy ? Girl idk.
I feel like I just need to slow it down, the thinking, just slow it down. Stop thinking about thinking. BE. Seperate your body from your thoughts , they’re not even there.
I can’t wait to fall in love again, with the right person. I love so vibrantly and beautifully and I can’t wait to be able to express that again. Until then, I will practice by loving myself in that same vibrant way. I want to give myself everything that I can, all my time, my attention, my love, my gifting, my home, my safe place. If I could dig deeper in my subconscious.. where would I go?
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urdearestmom · 2 years
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so happy to see you back here because the takes on mike ever since the season (by bylers, locals and even people who claimed to love him but are now mad and not even trying to understand him) are driving me crazy. he needs protecting
I am tumblr’s Mike Wheeler defence squad
No but actually I think the problem is so many people just consume media without thinking critically about it (which like, it’s FINE to just watch things for fun, but if you’re going to pass judgement on something then perhaps you should spend more than 2 seconds thinking on it. maybe analyze the scene past your first reaction to it).
I'm going to talk mainly about Mike's interactions with Will and El in the early episodes of season 4 but there will also be references to earlier seasons.
Now, Mike's not an angel by any means!! The boy makes mistakes. He WAS dismissive and kinda rude to Will (also everyone forgot it was Will's birthday?? including me LOL) but it's not like he was behaving that way with the intent to hurt Will. Mike tends to hyperfocus on El whenever he's around her (which we've seen since s1: drifting from Lucas, Dustin's claims that all Mike cared about was El; s2 Mike's emo phase when she wasn't around and his subsequent focus on her once she returned; s3 Mike's entire emotional arc being about his feelings for El). In the scene at the rink, El had JUST been publicly humiliated and Mike found out she had been lying to him about her life and emotional state, so of course he was more concerned for her and focused on finding her than he was with listening to Will. Duh, anyone would be.
That hyperfocus is a completely natural thing that happens when you have strong feelings for someone; you tend to drop your friends a bit. The goal is to find a balance between the attention you give your friends vs the other person, but it's a learning process. Also Mike is at the maximum only 15 years old and this is his first relationship, so he is very much still in the early stages of figuring all that out. The important thing is that when you realize you hurt someone you apologize, which Mike did and Will forgave. I loved that scene a lot because I really really appreciate their friendship and the fact that they were both even tearing up a little bit really moved me :') It's also a development for Mike because he brought up the situation himself and apologized without anything else prompting it, which has been a difficulty for him in the past (remember him refusing to apologize to Lucas in s1? or the fact that we never saw him apologize to Max after s2 either). It takes emotional vulnerability to recognize that you were wrong and apologize to someone for hurting them, and he is a character that struggles profoundly with putting his feelings out there, so this is a win for him!!
The thing about his vulnerability leads me to my next point: the fight with El. El was completely valid in wanting to hear Mike say that he loves her, I think definitely in part due to her terrible upbringing and some in part to media she'd been exposed to since escaping the lab. Before she got out she was clearly in an abusive environment, where likely the only form of affection she received was words (Brenner's actions were obviously not those of someone who cared for her, but his choice of words and tone of voice helped him manipulate her), which would have some effect on the way she expresses herself and the way she accepts affection from others. During her time in isolation, we saw her watching soaps and those are the kind of stories where love is presented as this grand, sweeping thing that can only be demonstrated and affirmed through an extremely dramatic declaration. That's not a thing that usually happens irl, it's part of the entertainment factor, but El wouldn't know any better and she probably came to expect something similar.
Mike, on the other hand, is a person who struggles to verbalize any of his feelings, much less something as all-consuming as his love for El is. Some of that is simply part of his personality, but some of it is also home influence. It's obvious by now that the Wheelers don't have a great marriage, so Mike has more than likely not often or ever heard his parents say that they love each other (interestingly, I don't think Nancy has told Jonathan to his face that she loves him either). Mike has learned to express his love for people in a different way: through his actions. He is usually the first to jump into action/planning mode when a friend is in danger, he takes care of people who need help (El in s1 and Will in s2, and the way he comforts El at various points during s3 even while they were broken up), and consistently acts recklessly when it comes to someone offending or endangering his loved ones (aka, the cliff scene, or him attacking a possessed Billy armed with a skinny piece of metal, among others) because he feels as though he is their defender and keeping them safe is how he shows that he cares. Let us also not forget the fact that he handpicked those wildflowers in El's favourite colours because he knew they would make her happy (he also dressed in the same colours, which I LOVE even though his airport outfit makes him look like a muppet).
At the moment that they had their argument, El had been experiencing a lot of changes. Not only did she lose her powers, the thing that defined her as a person for almost her whole life, she also moved across the country, away from almost everyone who cared about her, and started school. Being bullied in general is difficult enough, but being bullied when you know you really are different and there's nothing you can do about it must be hell. The loss of her powers caused her to question her own self-worth because without them, who is she really? That's something that El is still in the process of discovering. Being the victim of bullying at the same time has reinforced this idea she has that her powers are what give her worth. With them she can defend herself, intimidate her enemies; without them she is a target. She must feel that people only liked her before because they thought her abilities were cool. This thought, plus the emotional toll that bullying causes, plus the fact that she only ever overheard Mike say that he loves her and it was while she still had her powers, and the fact that he hasn't said it in words since then has probably made her extremely insecure about whether his feelings for her are from a genuine place of love, like hers are for him.
Because El is struggling, and because Mike hasn't yet worked up the courage to vocalize his feelings, they fight. El is upset because she has probably started to doubt whether her boyfriend, who she cares about immensely, genuinely loves her or not. Mike is upset because he loves her so intensely and he tells her that in the way he knows how but she isn't receiving the message, and he doesn't know how to fix it. It's an unfortunate situation all around but I thought that it was a very realistic problem to present Mileven with and I absolutely adored how many layers there are to what's happening. Millie and Finn's performances were also spot on! The way you can see Millie's anger through her sadness and the absolute sincerity in Finn's whole person (his face, voice, even the little extra movements he does while speaking) really lend the emotions to the scene and make it feel real.
Anyone who says "El deserves better" is delusional or just hasn't considered how wonderful Mike actually is. How could she do any better than the boy who has cared for her unconditionally since the moment he met her? I mean, he put himself in danger to protect her and she's literally killed multiple people in front of him and he didn't bat an eye. All he wanted was to know that she was safe.
Anyone who says Mike doesn't love El: see the above. I don't know what show you're watching
ALL OF THIS TO SAY: I love Mike Wheeler because he is a flawed character. He's not perfect! He makes mistakes! But guess what, we all do. It's part of growing up and part of being human, so all it does is make him feel more like a real person to me. He's a lovely lil boy and I will defend him to my last breath, tumblr!!!!!!!
(i know this got really mf long but i will probably be active for a bit so send me more asks friends!!)
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makeste · 3 years
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an index of Horikoshi Kouhei interviews
these are organized by date, oldest to newest, and I’m including a brief bullet-point summary of each to make it easier to look up specific interviews by content.
also, please note that although I haven’t spoiler tagged this post, the interviews from roughly 2019 onwards include some spoilers, so please watch out for those if you’re anime-only or otherwise not caught up with the manga. that said, the other interviews I think are all good.
putting this below a cut to keep things tidy.
interview with Horikoshi Kouhei and Kishimoto Masashi, May 2015
(note: this is not the actual interview word-for-word, but includes the highlights)
Horikoshi talks about being a fan of Naruto when he was growing up
Horikoshi says he was inspired by the way Kishimoto shows emotion through drawing hands, and that he loves drawing hands thanks to Naruto
Horikoshi mentions that Gaara is his favorite character and that he really liked the Chuunin Exam arc
Kishimoto praises BnHA and says he knew it would be a hit when he read the second chapter
they talk a bit about the worldbuilding and the process of creating a story where 80% of the population has superpowers
they discuss Naruto and Sasuke’s rivalry and Horikoshi mentions that he found it “frustrating” and that he really liked the Valley of the End and thought it would be the end of the series. he says it was very emotional
they talk a little about the stress of writing manga and about the toll it takes on mental health
pre-anime interview, April 2016
talks about his reaction when he found out BnHA was getting an anime
talks about how the series originally came about
says that BnHA is the story of Izuku and All Might and that their story is the “vertical axis” which runs through the main story
says there is also a “horizontal axis”, which is the side characters and quirks and all of the other elements that he considers to be the “fun part” of the story which mellows out the darker aspects of the vertical axis
mentions that he really likes drawing and writing Bakugou
mentions Deku vs Kacchan 1 as one of the early highlights in the series for him
talks about Ochako being someone who has a more cheerful relationship with Deku, which balances out some of the heavier aspects of Deku and Katsuki’s relationship (again, horizontal vs vertical axis)
mentions that if he could pick any quirk he’d pick a “no need for sleep” quirk
talks about reading Dragon Ball as a child
mentions that he really likes American comic book heroes, especially Spider-Man
mentions Goku and Spider-Man as the two that come to mind when he thinks about heroes and what it means to be a hero (specifically, that Goku is the “win” aspect and that he brings reassurance to everyone, while Spider-Man is the “save” aspect who helps other people)
talks about hearing Deku and Bakugou’s voices in the anime for the first time, as well as Ochako, Iida, and All Might’s voices
another pre-anime interview with konomanga.jp, April 2016
(note: this interview is in Japanese, but Google translate does a servicable job with it)
talks more about Spider-Man, including his favorite costumes and comic artists
gives some American comic book recs
mentions that he likes Godzilla and Gamera and always goes to see those movies
talks about his Star Wars influences
talks about his favorite manga as a child -- Dragon Ball, One Piece, and Naruto
talks about becoming a manga artist, and about some of his influences
says that he likes drawing monsters, creatures, and villains, and says that he really liked drawing the panel where Tomura made his first appearance at USJ
talks a little about composition and frame movement in his work, and about the challenges of drawing a weekly manga
mentions that he knows what the story ending will be, but hasn’t yet figured out how to connect the dots to that point
interview with Horikoshi Kouhei and Umakoshi Yoshihiko in BnHA: Ultra Archive, May 2016
(note: Umakoshi is the anime character designer for BnHA. also, this interview was part of the Ultra Archive character book, so you’ll have to scroll a bit through its other contents in order to get to the interview.)
they talk about the process of creating the BnHA anime and sketching out all of the character designs. Horikoshi says the anime character model sheets look just like how he draws them
they talk about Horikoshi’s obsession with drawing hands lol. Horikoshi mentions that the way Mike Mignola (the creator of Hellboy) draws hands was a big influence
they talk a lot about art and drawing in general
Horikoshi talks about Ochako’s character design a bit
they talk about the differences between drawing manga and doing animation
Umakoshi talks about his first impressions of BnHA
Horikoshi mentions that he still has a lot of ideas for characters and quirks that he hasn’t been able to implement yet
they talk about the different character designs and which ones they find easy, difficult, and fun to draw
they talk for a fair amount of time about Iida’s character design
Umakoshi talks a bit about other anime he’s worked on
they talk about the character of All Might, and Horikoshi ominously says that All Might’s future will be “a fairly sad affair”
interview with Natalie Comics, June 2018
talks about the 4th anniversary of BnHA, and the release of BnHA: Two Heroes
talks about the Basement internship arc and mentions that it was challenging for him to write
talks about the question “what is a hero?” and how he defines heroes
mentions Mina, Sero, and Shouji as characters he would like to/plans to feature in the future, and mentions that he already has a story planned featuring Shouji
talks about the popularity of the series
talks a little about Koike-san, his first editor
talks about Two Heroes and its development and story
talks about club activities at U.A., and which clubs Deku and Katsuki would be in
talks about his mom and about some of his childhood experiences which inspired scenes in the manga
talks about why he became a mangaka
talks about what percentage of the series is completed, mentions the original planned length was about 30 volumes but that it has obviously surpassed that
mentions that he has an idea of how the last arc will be planned out
interview with Horikoshi and Eiichiro Oda, August 2018
Horikoshi talks about being a fan of One Piece and mentions he even sent artwork to Oda which was included in one of Oda’s galleries
they talk more about OP and about favorite arcs and how it’s influenced Horikoshi’s work
Oda compliments Horikoshi’s art and they talk about cover artwork and coloring (Horikoshi mentions he uses Photoshop)
Horikoshi talks a bit about BnHA Two Heroes
Horikoshi again mentions that he originally thought BnHA would be about 30 volumes (Oda says he should shoot for 50 but Horikoshi laughs and says he’s not sure he can do ten years)
they talk about how fucking long OP is and how manga stories tend to expand once the story starts taking off
Interview with Anime News Network at SDCC, August 2018
talks about his love of American comics, especially Spider-Man, and says that American comics are a lot more mainstream in Japan nowadays thanks to all the superhero movies
talks about how he got started as a manga creator
talks about being inspired by Dragon Ball, and that All Might in particular was inspired by Goku
talks a bit about the process of creating characters
talks about Bakugou’s popularity and that it took him by surprise at first
mentions that he doesn’t have the stamina for BnHA to be a long series like One Piece
interview with Cinema Today Japan, December 2019
(update: here is the link to @hanashimas​‘ translation which is more accurate)
talks about Deku and Bakugou’s characters and their attributes
mentions that at the start of the story Bakugou thinks Deku is above him, so he tries to act intimidating and superior to overtake him
(ETA: apparently this is a mistranslation; he actually says that he intended for Bakugou to be a character who was “above” Deku so to speak, who Deku would eventually surpass. he then goes on to talk about his realization that Bakugou could actually have a much more interesting character arc, which of course we have since seen play out.)
mentions that he planned to have Bakugou and Deku improve on two separate vectors as they entered U.A.
mentions Deku vs Kacchan 1 as a turning point where he had some realizations about Bakugou’s character that humanized him for him
mentions that he always knew Bakugou wouldn’t turn evil and “would never lose to the darkness”
says the scene where Katsuki takes Kirishima’s hand at Kamino was bittersweet because it showed Bakugou’s growth, but also showed the ongoing gulf between him and Deku because Deku knew that Katsuki wouldn’t take his hand
mentions that Bakugou still needs to apologize to Deku
says that Kirishima, Kaminari, and Mina are among the easiest characters for him to draw because they take the initiative and get the other characters excited and help pull the story forward
mentions that he always hears Nobu’s voice in his head now when writing Bakugou
talks about the characters being high school kids still, and that when he expanded on their families he was conscious of that -- “I wanted to show that these protagonists are still children after all”
interview in Volume R (booklet that was released along with Heroes Rising), December 2019
talks again about his manga influences and what inspired him to become a mangaka
talks about the experience of getting his first manga published
talks about what inspired him to write BnHA
has an interesting quote where he talks about the vaguely desperate feeling of “trying one last time”, which was weighing on his mind when he created BnHA, and which also played into Deku’s motivations in the first chapter
mentions All Might as being a character that he’s attached to
talks about his reactions to the anime, the overseas popularity, and the first movie
talks about his heavy involvement in the production of Heroes Rising
talks about designing and creating the bad guys for Heroes Rising
talks about the creation and character design of Hawks and mentions that the original character design was going to have a bird head lol
mentions that Hawks will have a relatively big influence on the story in the future
talks about how the ending of Heroes Rising was his original planned ending for the series
talks about Bakugou’s character development which leads up to that moment
talks about the conclusion of the series, and that all of the characters will come together in the end
interview with all of the past editors of the BnHA manga, March 2021
(note: this is another interview that’s not translated word for word, but summarized. also this interview was with just the editors, not Horikoshi himself.)
they talk about the early reception to the manga, and Horikoshi’s reactions
they talk about the individual moments early on when they realized that the series would be “amazing”
Yoritomi mentions that Horikoshi came up with the designs for most of the Billboard Top 10 pro heroes at the last minute lol
including Hawks (all Horikoshi had decided on prior was that he was going to be “cool” and would be a spy)
everyone praises Horikoshi’s character designs in general
they talk about the start of the anime and that whole process
they mention that Horikoshi cried watching both of the movies
they talk about the overseas popularity of the series
each editor lists their favorite episode of the anime
they talk about Horikoshi sacrificing his original manga ending to be used in Heroes Rising
they talk about that one ending theme song in season 4 that showed the pro heroes’ childhoods, and that Horikoshi had the anime team change Hawks’s to match the backstory he had planned
they talk about the upcoming season 5 and send final messages to the fans
interview in the MHA Drawing Smash Exhibition Pamphlet, April 2021
Horikoshi talks about the art in the exhibition and about the process of creating the artwork
he mentions that the piece with Deku rescuing a falling Ochako took the longest to draw
he says the drawing of All Might was the most fun to draw for him
that’s pretty much it, this one is very short lol
interview in Jump GIGA Spring 2021, April 2021
talks about which characters will play an important role in the final act. specifically mentions Hawks, Ochako, Shouji, Shinsou, Monoma, and Sero
“many characters’ actions will converge into a single one, so maybe the best way to say it would be ‘keep an eye on all of them!’“
says that for Hawks’s flashbacks and the Todoroki family’s past, he was influenced by Sion Sono’s works
mentions that the drawing of Deku and Ochako from the MHA Drawing Smash exhibit isn’t directly related to the main story, but that while drawing it he kept in mind how their relationship would develop if he explored it deeper
says he had the final act (or at least the chapter 306 reveal part of it) vaguely planned for a long time, but started to think about the specifics in volume 21 during the Endeavor vs High-End fight
says he’s already decided on the ending, and that “the path to it has been longer than I initially expected, but the main elements that I’ve decided before starting the series are still the same”
Q&A trivia from Vol. W World Heroes’ Mission, August 2021
(and alternate translation by aitaikimochi)
talks about All Might not having many friends among the pro heroes (but says he’s become “slightly attached” to Aizawa since he started teaching at U.A.)
describes what Bakugou, Tsuyu, and Mineta’s rooms look like
talks about Jirou and Momo’s relationship and the kind of things they like to talk about when they hang out together
says that Shouji’s face will eventually be revealed, and that he is “not sure” about Hagakure’s :’)
talks about the types of YouTube videos Shouto watches (pretty insightful answer which is equal parts sweet and sad)
says that Midnight’s classes were the most popular among the students
says U.A.’s robots once rebelled against their creators (lol wtf)
says his three favorite movies are Akira, The Ring, and Spider-Man: Far From Home. he says Akira in particular is his bible
and that’s it for now, but I will update this post with future interviews as they are posted, and if anyone has links to an interview I’ve missed please let me know.
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felassan · 3 years
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Jon Renish (Foundation Technical Director @ BioWare, working on DA4) recently did a Twitch stream where he played through some DAO. Although he works on DA, this is his first time playing through DAO. He’s playing through it looking at random details from a dev perspective as he’s currently working on DA4 and therefore wants to know more about the previous games.
On the stream he mentioned some tidbits on the development of DA4. There were also some insights and anecdotes about the development of DAO and similar. It’s a 3 hour stream so I collected them here in case that’s of use to anyone (for example not everyone can watch streams which don’t have subtitles/captions). The stream is a fun/interesting watch though, so if you’re curious or able to watch I recc doing so. 😊 The rest of this post is under a cut for length.
Please note that there’s some paraphrasing on my part, this is not a transcript.  There are also some additions from another dev who featured on the stream to give some commentary. The stream also contains more snippets that at times I couldn’t make out (I tried my best!).
(There is a mention of Cullen’s VA in the text below.)
DA4
Jon said he can talk about things about DA4 that aren’t “consumer-facing”, but he can’t say anything about the game that would be consumer-facing but which isn’t already publicly available. There are several reasons for this. One, that’s not his job, there are people whose job this is and they let each other do their respective roles. Two, BW are a publicly-traded company, so if he said something that could affect that that would be insider trading. Three, they’re not done making DA4 yet, so if he said that they have added [x] to the game and people got all excited about that or pre-ordered on that basis, but [x] ended up being cut, people would be like ‘BioWare lied to us’, when it’s just that things changed during the course of development, as is often the case
He’s glad that fans are excited for the game but notes that fan expectations are always double-edged. It can be really tough as some people started ‘playing’ the game in their heads as soon as they heard of it. That’s fine, he loves that, but he hopes that peoples’ expectations don’t turn into requirements. Clearly BW have alluded to certain characters, like Solas, being in the game, but some fans say things like “If [say] Morrigan isn’t in the game, then, rahhh!” Y’know, there’s a lot of talk about how certain characters have to be in the game, and yeah.
On characters which are quantum (i.e. characters which can die or which can have similar end-states as death in previous games): their being quantum makes it really hard for the devs to work with those characters in subsequent games. The devs naturally aren’t going to put as much effort into characters which could have died previously. A character can have had an amazing appearance throughout/role in a previous game, but if there is a risk of something happening to them and of them being removed [effectively] from the plot, it just doesn’t make sense to have them as a major character in a subsequent game. If a character can, say, sacrifice themselves in some glorious ending, the devs have to make sure that if they use them again, in worldstates where the character didn’t do that, the character is kind of ‘muted’, as the devs don’t want to disrespect the players who made a different choice
A comment in chat expressed a wish for Shale in DA4. Jon’s response is that he has no idea on that front
Bugs don’t come out of crunch, they come out of development in general. Crunch does impact on the quality of a game though. In recent years BW are always really trying to reduce crunch, they’re currently working really hard to bring it down. The best way of doing that is by controlling scope. As creatives it’s tough to balance wanting to make great stuff and be industry-leading with the desire to constantly do extra passes over things they’ve created like the audio, art etc. Their biggest enemy is time, other ways of reducing crunch or time spent in general include iterating tools to make often-repeated processes as time-efficient as possible
I think the following was an observation on the industry in general as opposed to a BW-specific/-exclusive comment: he thinks that as a result of this sort of thing [working to reduce crunch], a lot of games are going to have to be smaller and a lot more focused in scope i.e. the devs will have to focus on hitting the key selling points of that particular game/series as hard as they can, and cut down on branching out sideways/wide on a bunch of random other stuff
Jon doesn’t personally engage in character creators in games, but he knows that for some players that expression is worth a lot of time and focus. BW want to be industry-leading in this kind of stuff as it’s something which is interesting/key/integral to their games
In a way BW have made their own nest of problems what with every DA game being so different to the previous one. Still, he notes that each game has a staunch fanbase that says that their particular favorite game is the best one in the series
He doesn’t want people who think that DA4 isn’t what they want to buy it and be upset - there are so many other great games out there! BW are going to make the game they’re going to make - if some people like it, that’s great, and if some people don’t, that’s cool. Sometimes waiting until reviews are out and/or really seeing beforehand if a game is something that you want [has things/features in it that you want] prior to getting it - as opposed to jumping right in or pre-ordering - is a good idea. Fans don’t always know what they want, but they do know what they like - these are 2 different things
He hopes that whatever they ship for DA4, people go “I enjoyed this experience”, and that then, if there’s additional content for it down the road, people can decide, “do I want this further content?”
On hair: BW are using the new hair technology in the latest version of the Frostbite engine, so they’ll see what they can do! This was said in response to a comment about the hair in the latest FIFA games (as EA make FIFA)
A comment in chat asked about a flying mechanic (griffons). Jon’s response is that flying is such a heavy gameplay mechanic that you can’t put it in a game without everything in the game being built about it (see Anthem)
Relating to the above comment, in DA4 mounted combat would be cool but then they’d have to make the game ‘around’ mounted combat and make the mounted combat feature meaningful
On the underwater concept art: it should not be interpreted as a promise of gameplay. BW have amazing artists who sit down for a couple weeks while they’re in early production and just draw loads and loads of all kinds of stuff. Concept art is like a moodboard or Pinterest board. Elsewhere in the stream he advised, take all the concept art together like a mosaic and ask, ‘what is the overall theme[s] here?’, and to zoom out from individual details. [This stuff echoes PW’s word on concept art]
BW don’t generally write things or the choices as bleak as the choices in DAO were anymore. This is a conscious choice on their part, they want their game to be fun [note: this was said when the side quest in Orzammar where the Warden has the option of convincing a dwarven mother to abandon her young baby to die was being played through. It seems to refer to intensively grimdark choices/beats of this kind]
I think this was more of a general comment on games: SSDs (solid state drives) mean that players will see shorter elevator rides (Mass Effect - was this a reference to the remaster?) and fewer switchback corridors (those are actually loading zones). Generally, these are going to change mechanically the time it takes to do stuff in games
The devs have lots of features on their backlog that they’d like to offer players but each will ofc involve implementation and subsequent maintenance, and each one that is chosen to add is being chosen over something else. And sometimes, it’s hard for them to tell if [x] feature or [y] feature would be better to add to the game
They’re about to work on a giant feature (a pure tooling feature, something that isn’t consumer-facing) that is probably going to take ~2 staff years of effort [I think “staff effort” includes multiple staff working concurrently, so 2 years of staff effort doesn’t = 2 years of time chronologically] to get done in the next few months. They’re investing all this effort across the people working on it because they don’t want their artists and designers etc to have to deal with the problem that it’s going to solve anymore. I’m not sure what this feature is but elsewhere in the stream they referred to tooling and automation and gave the example of, the better your tooling is, the fewer times you have to manually set the camera for a human vs elf vs dwarf position, for dynamically-generated [cinematic?] content and for the first pass to be automated (if this is the case, less time is spent/wasted on redoing it and manually touching it up) [see last bullet point in this section]
He doesn’t know how big DA4 is going to be but said “let’s ballpark and say like most games it’ll be somewhere between 70 and 100 GB”
If we kept our Wardens as the PC throughout all 3 games, at the end they would be so powerful that it’d be a bit like “Let’s just do [thing], I’ve killed gods before, whatever”. He thinks it’s good that they have fresh characters each time in DA in order to reset that power level. Some people want more Commander Shepard in the next Mass Effect and he feels like, ‘what else could you possibly want / what else could that character possibly do after 3 games?’
When asked how much freedom he/they have now to focus on next gen, he said that there’s actually almost no difference on that front. The problems never change. They now have better renderers, better ray-tracing, better graphics cards etc, but they have always made DA games for high- and low-spec PCs, so it’s actually about gameplay systems. The freedom isn’t power-based and them getting access to more cores and more RAM generally isn’t going to change how the games are played. The games still have to be made for hard drives on PC. Dev creativity matters more than power here. The challenge of building a BW game is more about/from managing loads of different plotstates, loads of different art pieces, etc
On the title situation (two): names are the last thing they worry about because names have to go through legal before being approved. Every name, including character names, has to be checked in case it’s a famous person, or associated with something bad, or offensive in a different language due to localization etc
They don’t do face scans of people with big beards
There was also a bit about changes/developments to/in the cinematic design process and associated tooling [?] but I found it too hard to follow sorry >< This bit of commentary begins at timestamp ~ 1:52:45 and continues til ~ 2:00:05 [keep listening through the bit where they pause for a cutscene]
General BW
There’s currently ~350 staff in Edmonton, ~200 in Austin and more elsewhere
He notes that DA games sell pretty well, but relative to EA games in general, they’re a drop in the bucket compared to FIFA
DAI
5% of players of DAI never created a character [Q: does this refer to people who just used the default appearances/presets with no editing, or people who only played multiplayer?]
The mounts don’t actually go faster than running, this is an illusion
I think they said it has 55,000 lines of dialogue. [I’m pretty sure I remember devs elsewhere saying it has 80,000 lines of dialogue]
One of the companions had to have their name changed during development because of legal/translation reasons. It sounds like the original name sounded too close to something offensive
DA2
Back when DA2 was internally code-named “Nug Storm”: this was at the beginning when it was pitched to the team on a set of slides. The image on the slide for that pitch had devil horns, a metal hand and no flesh, it was just made out of fire and flames
DAO
The engine DAO is made on is the third engine that they tried for it during development. [David Gaider has gone into the DAO engine stuff some on Summerfall’s series of DAO playthrough streams]
The cracks on the cracked eluvian asset are modelled after the crack on the Tardis in Doctor Who from around that time, as at the time some devs had been talking about Doctor Who a lot. A dev actually added this factoid to DAO’s entry on TV Tropes but someone else (evidently not a DA dev) came by and deleted it saying that it was too much of a stretch x)
Before the game had its name there was an HTML script that randomly generated possible titles for consideration, it adds verbs and nouns together e.g. “Grim Dark”. One of the craziest possibilities that it once generated that the devs always remember is "Bone Wind”
One of the portraits that’s used for decoration around the world in-game (it’s of a bearded human man) is actually of a specific BW staff member
He played through Stone Prisoner, where Wilhelm’s son Matthias gives exposition in the cellar. Matthias is voiced by GE and this had been pointed out to Jon earlier on. Jon: “I don’t think that character’s voice acting was super strong there”
On the in-game area towards the end of Stone Prisoner: Outdoor areas in games are large and one of the things needed for them is streaming, so different chunks can be ‘streamed in’. There’s a tower [?], and technically the top of the tower was made an outdoor level so that sky stuff could be there, though it didn’t really need to be. The person that made it an outdoor level chose the very smallest chunk size for the terrain mesh, which determines how fine of a streaming they do. So when playing, every time you moved like 4 meters, the game would stream out 50-100 chunks behind you and the same in front of you (this is the bubble around the player of what actually exists). Because it was so small, it was constantly thrashing the CPU and disc to do all the loading. The devs were like “this isn’t going to work”, but they barely had any time. The solution: they made a new level that was outdoor and copied all the sunlight and other settings, but with the largest chunk size. They copy-pasted the entire level from one to the other. The problem with that many chunks then is that there was a giant expanse of flat terrain sticking out of the middle of the tower. They didn’t know if the story was going to involve shots of the outside of the tower for this sequence or not, so they took the terrain deformation tool and bundled all the terrain vertices at the bottom of the tower in a giant clump. So to this day there’s a mess of vertices and twisted terrain at the bottom of the final level that probably no-one has ever seen [not sure though if this anecdote is in reference to a place in that DLC or somewhere elsewhere in the game?]
There were also some tidbits on Anthem, however I didn’t note them down (sorry).
If you think I misheard or misunderstood anything from this stream please let me know and I will edit/fix it. :) 
(Thankyou to some of my friends who explained a tech detail from this to me.)
[source]  <-- current rewatch link
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rawr-ily · 4 years
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A Stupidly Long Bokuto Analysis
CEO of thought dumping and calling glamorized rants “essays”
I already made a character analysis for my kin character (Oikawa) so here’s one for my favorite/ultimate comfort character :)
"The world" is a recurring theme with Bokuto. He has a strange habit of always looking at the bigger picture. By which I mean, he doesn’t really look out for little details. He's simple minded, so he takes things at face value. Tokyo isn't enough for him. Japan isn't enough. Asia isn't enough. He wants the world. He doesn't care if it seems like too much, or if it's unreasonable. He knows what he wants, and he's going to get it.
This is more noticeable in the manga. For example, there's the iconic "No matter what they say, we are the protagonists of the world" . Yes, I know Akaashi is the one the says this line, but it really mainly applies to Bokuto. We know Bokuto has this strange sort of charisma that makes him ridiculously likable to pretty much anyone. Now, I REALLY didn't wanna make this about Akaashi, but it seems like that's actually Furudate's intention. It's almost as though he didn't want to give us direct access to Bokuto's thoughts for most of the series. Instead, how did we get that? Akaashi. Akaashi is the narrator for Bokuto's thoughts. Bokuto is so random, so unique and strange, that it wouldn't make sense for us to have access to his mind. Yes, we get direct thoughts from him time to time, but Akaashi is the one who really tells us most of it. He's there to filter out Bokuto's thoughts because it would be too strange for us to understand. We would never be able to figure out Bokuto because he can't even figure out himself. That's technically Akaashi's "purpose" in the story. I don't mean that in a bad way though. I would explain more, but I wanna keep this about Bokuto as much as possible.
ANYWAY, we can sort of see Akaashi as an "extension" of Bokuto. When Akaashi says "we are the protagonists of the world", he is not talking to himself or the reader. He's talking to Bokuto, because he knows Bokuto wants the world. Another thing about this quote is that he begins with "No matter what they say..." This kind of made me to a double take. Why would someone say they aren't? But then I remembered in the manga, we get a scene of Bokuto running with some classmates. It was probably for a gym class of sorts. It's Bokuto's turn to set the pace for their run, and everybody's upset because he always goes too fast and too overboard. Bokuto doesn't really notice, and he goes forth anyway. However, after a while, he looks back and realizes nobody is running with him anymore.
Sound familiar? Kageyama's teammates left him in the same way Bokuto's did. They couldn't keep up, so they abandoned them. We're more familiar with Kageyama's past, so it's a bit easier to understand Bokuto's if you see that little parallel. I might be reaching a little here, but it's possible that people have told Bokuto that the world doesn't revolve around him in the same way Kageyama was mockingly called a king. It's a common thing said to people like Bokuto, who don't really understand much outside their own head. It's not a bad thing, but many people misinterpret it as arrogance or a disregard for others. Bokuto's charisma apparently didn't work for everyone, considering how annoyed his classmates were; I think it's a possibility that people made some snide remarks.
We also see that Bokuto is actually incredibly desperate for validation. He constantly brags about his amazing talent, always wants people to see the cool things he does, and thrives off compliments. He wants attention, and that's not a bad thing at all. It just means he wants people to acknowledge how great he is, and he feels happy when they do. That's really just scraping the surface of all that quote tells us, but I want to move on to something else.
Another recurring thing about Bokuto is his use of the word "ordinary" It seems that he doesn't really understand what the word means, but I think he knows its meaning better than anyone. Bokuto using the word first stood out to me when Fukurodani player a difficult match against another school in Nationals. I'm not too familiar with the timeline, so correct me if I'm wrong. Bokuto told the rest of Fukurodani that, up until that point, he was "an ace coddled by his team" and now he's ready to be "just an ace". He wants to be an ordinary ace, which seems quite strange. This is Bokuto, and wants to be ordinary?
Bokuto has a different understanding of "ordinary" than most people do. He's simple minded, not stupid. It's not that he doesn't think; he just thinks differently. He's that unique type of person who thinks out of the box by default. When most people think of ordinary, we think of boring, plain, normal. It's been given a negative connotation by most people. Bokuto doesn't listen to connotation.
Remember that he takes things at face value? This is an example. To us, ordinary is boring. To him, it's a goal. Bokuto sees ordinary as what things are supposed to be. He wants to be an ordinary ace. Aces are supposed to be the awesome, powerful stars of the team. Aces are supposed to be the best. He wants to be the best. Therefore, he wants to be an ordinary ace. It took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to fully understand that entire bit, to be honest.
It's actually more clearly stated in one of the last manga chapters after MSBY vs. Schweiden. Akaashi interviews Bokuto for the manga company he works at, and Bokuto tells him that he has become "ordinary". Akaashi is confused and tells Bokuto that he has never been ordinary. Bokuto laughs and makes some remark about how Akaashi didn't realize just how ordinary he's become. We get a little throwback to Akaashi's 0.5 second thought process, and he realizes immediately that Bokuto doesn't use the word "ordinary" like he does. Even more impressive, he seems to also realize exactly what he means by it. Akaashi tells him that he (Akaashi) was mistaken and Bokuto is actually "super ordinary".
THIS PART TOOK ME A GOOD TWENTY MINUTES, AND AKAASHI DID IT IN 0.5 SECONDS. He's the real master at Bokuto analysis. Though Bokuto doesn't get enough serious background, so he's a difficult one to analyze. It's also much harder to put him into words? Again, he's a very unique character. He even has a surprising amount of duality in him. Though we as a fandom perceive him as an optimist, it seems his mood swings often force him into a state of overwhelming pessimism. I actually find it quite funny. It's almost like his left brain and right brain are fighting a battle, and left brain almost loses but summons the strength to momentarily completely overwhelm right brain before it takes back control. I got a very strange visual from that though.
Regardless, it just means I think his mind tries to balance out his naive optimism with intense flashes of pessimism. Bokuto gives his all to EVERYTHING. That's actually sort of an issue for him. If he's happy, he's VERY happy. If he's upset, he's VERY upset. He wants to be the best at all he doesbecause he just wants to have fun. He's not having fun when he loses, so he doesn't want to lose. It's so simple, but it's strangely inspiring. It's the straightforward answer to Tsukishima's question. Why do we push ourselves to be the best when we know there is no such thing? What motivates us? Our desire to win. What makes us want to win? Our desire to win is fueled by hatred for losing. Why don't we want to lose? We don't want to lose because it's not fun. Why isn't it fun? It just isn't. Bokuto doesn't try to dig for those answers. After all, why is anything the way it is? What does it matter? He doesn't care as long as he's enjoying himself.
I suppose that's one of the nice parts of being so simple minded. He's able to enjoy life to the fullest because he doesn't want to focus on things he doesn't like. That means his future character growth will be about having to do things he doesn't like because that's a part of life. It'll actually be quite sad to watch Bokuto grow up. What he needs to do is find a balance for all the duality in him so he doesn't need to give up his childishness or force out his mature side. If he can find a balance, it just means he'll be able to do both when he needs to. If he can do that, he'll get through everything life throws at him. He can still have fun.
He doesn't get enough serious screen time, so I can't really say anymore about him that can be reinforced by things from the anime or manga. This was only around 1.5K, so hopefully it was a pretty easy read? I still don't wanna edit this, so just tell me if things don't make sense! Also, please remember that Bokuto IS NOT AN IDIOT, SO PLEASE STOP CALLING HIM ONE IF IT’S NOT FOR COMEDIC PURPOSES. Thank you :)
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Leave No One Behind
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Ch 12- Win Some, Lose Some
Part 2
Co written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​
Summary: After 2 years of being at the resort Ari and the other agents are gearing up for yet another mission, but there’s a little bit of trouble in paradise for him and Hannah…
Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut (NSFW, 18+ only)
Pairings: Ari Levinson x OFC Hannah Horowitz
Part 1 
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Ari woke the next morning and instantly realised something was missing. Simon’s ass from his face. With a stretch he cracked his neck slightly and opened one eye to find that Hannah was also gone. With a little yawn he sat up, rubbing his eyes before he swung his legs off the side of the bed and stood up, heading to the small bathroom. Once finished, he located a pair of swim shorts form the chest of drawers at the side of the hut and pulling them on he made his way outside.
Hannah wasn’t far away. In fact, she was stood straight in front of the hut at the water’s edge as Simon stood by her side, the pair of them simply looking out over the ocean which was alive with the rich, warm pinks and oranges of the rising sun. She was dressed in Ari’s shirt from the night before, her hair in a tangle of curls as it fell down her back, and there was something so raw and intimate about the moment it made Ari’s breath catch. Slipping back into the hut he located Hannah’s polaroid camera and quickly made his way back outside. He took a quick snap, and returned back inside, placing it back down along with the photo to develop before he strode back out of the door and down to the water’s edge.
Of course Simon heard him coming and turned, eliciting a little bark as he trotted towards him. He leaned down to give his dog an ear scratch before he smiled at Hannah who had turned her head over her shoulder to face him. She responded with a smile of her own, looking back at the ocean as he wrapped his arms around her from behind dropping a gentle kiss to her neck.
“You’re up early.” He said as her hands gently came to rest on his strong arms as they pulled her back into him, the fabric of the shirt she was wearing brushing against his bare chest.
“Couldn’t sleep.” She shrugged.
Ari’s nose nuzzled against the skin below her ear and he pressed another soft kiss to her jaw line “You still feeling a little down?”
Hannah took a deep breath and shrugged as her nails raked over his arms.
“You know, if it’s too much…you could go back.” He suggested and felt her still.
“As in, for good?”
“Yeah.” Ari shrugged, “Like I said, I don’t think we have an awful lot of time left…”
“I’m not quitting” Hannah said simply, turning in his arms. “I came to do a job, and I’m gonna see it through.”
“I knew you’d say that” he chuckled and Hannah watched her hands as they smoothed up over his pecs to his shoulders before she met his eyes.
“Why ask me then?” she arched an eyebrow as she looked at him, his hands flexing on her hips.
“Because I love you and I don’t wanna see you sad or unhappy because of me ever again.”
“This isn’t because of you.” Hannah shook her head “You egotistical ass.”
“Harsh!” Ari cocked an eyebrow as she grinned as he huffed out a laugh, “But I mean it Han. I don’t want you feeling like you have to stay.”
“I don’t” she shrugged “Honestly, don’t worry about me. It’ll pass Ari, I promise.”
She pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss before she glanced over to their left and nodded as two people passed them on the beach. “Guests are stirring, I should go shower and get ready for breakfast.”
“Ok.” He nodded and she looked up at him, biting her lip.
“Wanna come scrub my back?”
“You know…” Ari’s hands locked at the base of her back “The amount of times you ask me to do that, you should really invest in a loofah.”
“Yeah but, where’s the fun in that?” she grinned “Besides, why have a wolf and howl yourself?”
Ari gave a snort as she grinned again, stepping out of his hold, slipping her hand into his before she tugged him along with her over the sand towards their hut, Simon trotting behind them. 
****
One of the best traditions the team had come up with since they had started running a now not-so-fake hotel was the party they always held the night before a group of tourists were due to leave. It was the perfect excuse to let loose and celebrate together with another group of satisfied guests, albeit not the ones that were counted on the board. There was always a great bonfire, drinks and good music all accompanied by lots of laughter and wishes of a safe trip back home. 
That night was to be no exception to the rule and as Ari and Max were putting the final touch to the makeshift dance floor and checking the sound system, which had been upgraded since the first time they threw that kind of farewell party, Jake and Hannah were in charge of starting the bonfire under the watchful eye of Sammy. Rachel was looking after them all and ensuring they had a steady supply of beer before she settled down on Sammy’s lap. Simon stood a little away from the group, minding his own business which was chasing and trying to bite his own tail.
They were all discussing the choice of music for the night, as Ethan had sent them some new records with the latest shipment, and Max picked one out to check the sound system was up and running. As the upbeat sounds of Rio by Duran Duran rang across the beach the conversation had taken a rather odd turn, shifting to the discussion about who was the best front man- Simon Le Bon vs John Taylor.
"I used to have hair like John Taylor..." Jake piped up, taking a swig of his beer.
"So did Sammy." Hannah snorted, the look on her brother's face made her burst out with laughter as besides her Ari chuckled, his arm draped over her shoulders.
Sammy groaned. "Yeah, laugh all you want but we don't need to discuss that."
"And the stash?" she pressed, making Jake laugh out loud and Rachel chuckle. “Can we discuss that?”
Sammy glared at Jake and then at his sister. "Shut up, Han."
But, despite Sammy's deadly stares, Hannah continued her tirade. "You should have seen him. It was pretty...”
"Cool?" Jake cut her off.
"Disturbing." she blurted out with a grin.
"You two can kiss my ass." Sammy snapped at them, the pair of them dying with laughter by then, before he patted Rachel's hip and stood up to go and get changed.
A few hours later the party was in full swing, and the alcohol was flowing. Hannah who was visibly drunk by then had disappeared for some time and had returned with her polaroid and was busy annoying the boys with it. 
“Pose for me guys…you’re so pretty.” She grinned, before she looked at her brother “Well, apart from you Sammy."
"Fucking fuck you Han." Sammy protested as he staggered, almost falling over.
Rachel started howling just as Ari chuckled and hiccuped. "You can’t, don’t talk to her like that man." he said, shoving Sammy a little, spilling some of his beer in the process. "Oops." he hiccuped again.
"She’s a dick." Sammy snarled.
"Yeah but man…just no." Ari managed to say, his tongue feeling thick and not quite cooperating.
"Lobo stop mooooving. I’m tryina take a photo." Hannah whined, looking at them. "Sammy can you just... like not be here. In the picture I mean." she said as she shifted her weight on the sand trying to not lose balance.
"Red if you make us stand here any longer my clothes are gonna go outta fashion." Jake complained as he let his head fall, his arms over Max and Ari's shoulders.
"Your clothes were outta fashion when my papa was alive, Jake." Hannah quipped, fast as lighting
"Bitch!" Jake groaned.
“Hey, don’t call my girl names, asshole." Ari teased, yanking Jake's arm off his shoulder and turning to shove him which ended in both men faking a heated fight on the sand. "For fuck sake Hannah." Sammy yelled, stepping away from Jake and Ari's mock fight. "Take the camera back inside. You’re drunk."
"So are you." she said, sticking her tongue out at her brother.
"Yeah but I ain’t holding a camera, it’ll end up full of sand or broken."
She paused and looked at him as his words sunk in, and then she shrugged “Yes Dad” and started walking towards her and Ari's hut, stumbling on the sand, drunk as she was. Only she stumbled a little more heavy than she was anticipating and unable to steady herself she was fully expecting to face plant into the sand, until a hand gently grabbed her arm to stop her from falling.  
"Thanks." she whispered honestly as she looked up to see one of the younger guests from the group that had been diving with Jake the day before smiling at her.
“You’re welcome.” He spoke, but not loosening his grip, instead he kept his gaze locked on her, grin spreading across his face.
Max, who had been watching the guy with curiosity, nudged Ari and nodded his head towards the scene.
"What the fuck is that bastard doing?" Ari yelled, a big frown on his sweaty forehead as he released Jake from the headlock he’d had him in.
"Touching up Cracker...I think..." Max shrugged.
"Quit stirring Max " Jake spoke, brushing the sand off his shirt. "She tripped and he stopped her falling bud, that's it."
Ari groaned and took a sip from his beer, eyes still watching. Eventually he saw Hannah step back and laugh before heading up towards their hut. But he didn't miss the way the dark haired man’s eyes followed her, or the way his pals all nudged him and gestured in Hannah’s direction, all of them grinning.
"I’m watching you, you German bastard." Ari mumbled but loud enough for Sammy to hear.
"I told you. It’s always Germans." Sammy said before hiccuping.
"Fuck off. My parents are German." Rachel shoved Sammy.
"Yeah Sammy, the in laws won’t like you talking like that." Max scoffed and Ari snorted as Sammy's eyes opened wide with realisation.
"Sorry babe." Sammy apologized and then glared at Ari. Having heard his snort "Yeah, like my mother likes you, asshole."
“You know your mother loves me, jerk. So much so I went round for dinner last time I was home and she made meatloaf."
"What? Why did you…" Sammy stuttered and Ari grinned at him. "Fuck…"
"No, that’s Ethan’s job." Ari quipped, making everyone but Sammy burst out with laughter.
"You’re sick, you know that? That’s disgusting." Sammy glared at him.
"Everything is disgusting according to you." Jake stated, with a shrug.
"To be fair the thought of my mom banging my boss...." Max said, shuddering at the thought.
"Shut up Irving!" 
"He’s very charming with all those elegant outfits." Rachel conceded.
"Yeah well he can go and charm someone else." Sammy glared at her.
"Don’t you mean some-mum else?" Jake snorted, making Sammy groan as they all sniggered. 
"But Rachel has a point. None of you have seen his silk robe." Ari spoke and Max was fast in following suit. "Mama N has."  He grinned at Ari who grimaced, readying himself for Sammy's final outburst.
"Will you all shut the fuck up?" he growled.
"Ok, ok sorry Sammy." Ari tried to calm him down as he shook his head
"What’s up? Are you angry again Sammy bear?" Hannah, who had just come back, asked noticing her brother's angry face. And she felt Ari's arm curl possessively round her waist, pulling her to him as he chuckled at Sammy's roll of eyes at her sister's pet name for him.
"Sammy doesn’t like Ethan banging your mother, Red." Jake explained, crooking a smile at Sammy.
Hannah wrinkled her nose at the mention of Ethan being her mother's partner. "Well... whatever" she started and then shrugged "Come on guys, let’s dance. I wanna dance." she suddenly changed topic as she grabbed Rachel's hand pulling her towards the “dance floor”.
"Bye then." Max raised his beer to the retreating girls.
"Yeah I’m gonna go dance too." Jake announced, and Ari saw his eyes flicker over a pretty blonde woman who was stood with a group of her friends.
"By dance you mean grind against some clueless tourist?" Max jabbed at Jake who flipped a finger at him as he left.
"They won't be clueless for long." Ari snorted. Half an hour later, after some dancing and more drinking, Ari noticed Hannah and Rachel were surrounded by the German Tourists who had all been watching Hannah. Ari was observing from a distance, the jealousy building slowly but surely, and when at one point he saw one of them wrap an arm round Hannah's shoulder and dip his head unabashedly towards her face he snapped.
"Fucker" he snarled as he started striding over but was stopped by someone grabbing his shoulder. He turned round only to see Sammy was the one holding him back.
"Don't cause a scene man. Han's got it, look." Sammy nodded his head in the girls' direction causing Ari to turn to look in time to see Hannah pulling away, her hands planted on the guy’s chest, shaking her head firmly.
"Yeah, back off asshole…" Ari hissed. "Wait. Is she smiling at him? Why is she smiling at him?" he asked Sammy, his eyes never leaving the scene though.
"She's just being polite." Max said in an attempt to downplay the issue.
"Sure." Ari snorted as he watched Hannah still smiling, her hands still on the guy’s shoulders. "Whatever. I’m ending this now." and he motioned to start towards the guy again. Sammy groaned and called at him to stop, but this time it was Max who physically did it.
"Look chill. There’s nothing going on there and like Sammy said, you’ll cause a scene. Besides Jake is close by."
But Ari was pissed and he was equally drunk, his alcohol fuelled brain wasn't working logically as all he could see was Hannah smiling at that guy that was far too close to her. As he stood watching, his jaw twitching, fists balling at his side, eventually the guy stepped back and held his hands up, turning to leave the girls alone.
Hannah watched the guy as he went, shaking her head at his complete and utter forward nature,  and then spotted Ari. His handsome features which were usually soft when he looked at her were hardened and his gentle blue eyes blazed with rage she hadn’t seen in a long time. She frowned at the outward display of anger and she excused herself from Rachel and Jake and headed over.
"I’m gonna grab a snack." Max was the first to split, as soon as he noticed Hannah approaching.
"Good idea." Sammy agreed and they hastily headed off. 
Hannah watched them for a moment as they left and then turned to Ari, whose jaw was twitching. "What’s wrong Lobo?"
"You tell me Firefly." he replied and she frowned at his flat tone.
"I don't know that's why I asked." she said softly, not wanting to fuel whatever was bothering him.
He scoffed. "You can’t be that oblivious."
Hannah stared at him and frowned again. "Are you talking about that guy just then?"
"Oh, so you do know what I’m talking about then."
She groaned, his jealous nature which was cute at times was at others fucking annoying.  "Ari, he made a pass at me, I told him no. I'm not sure what else there is to say."  
She frowned, feeling slightly puzzled not least because she had done nothing wrong but if Ari really believed what he had seen, then he surely would have been straight in there. He had done it before…
"Why you think he made that move?" Ari asked shrugging slightly at Hannah’s shocked expression.
"You think…” Hannah trailed off, her puzzled expression sliding into one of anger as she realised what Ari was implying and she narrowed her eyes. “You know what? Fuck this." she snarled and turned to leave.
"Firefly!" he growled. "Where do you think you’re going? Come back here! Hannah!"
Hannah stopped and turned to face him, gathering all the self-control she had in her not to slap him straight across his face for yelling at her. "To bed Ari. But for the record the only reason I'm not screaming at you right now is because of all these guests. You're being a fucking asshole, Levinson."
 "No, I’m not." he hissed. "You’re being a brat Hannah."
"I’m being a brat?" she let out a sarcastic, hearty laugh. "Fuck you." she spat at him and with that she stormed off in their hut direction.
Ari stood frozen watching her leave for a moment and when the realization of what had just happened washed over him he kicked the sand. "Fuck!" and he paused for a few seconds, considering his options, before he went after her. He could tell she was aware he was just behind her as she sped up till she finally reached the hut and went to slam the door but Ari got his foot in the way.
"Nice try Firefly."
"Fuck you Ari." she spat those words at him again.
Simon looked up from where he had been dozing on the bed, his head cocking to the side at the raised voices.
"Hey! I’m the one who has the right to be pissed." 
"No, no you don’t Ari!"
"Ok, now, you listen to me…" Ari said sternly as he brushed his hair off his face.
“I don't wanna listen. I'm done." she bit back.
"Fine, whatever." he said as he took off his shirt and went into the bathroom. He usually let her go first but not that night, he was making his point and was determined to stand for it, whatever it took or so he thought as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, his hands gripping the basin so hard his knuckles were now white. He sighed and tried to steady his breathing before sorting himself out and emerging into the room again.
 "Can I go in now?" Hannah asked sarcastically, standing up from where she was sat on the bed.
"All yours." he replied, equally as sarcastic.  
She stalked past him, staring straight ahead, before she shut the door behind her. Once alone in the room she  sat on the toilet, her head in her hands as she started sobbing, all the rage she was feeling seeping from her eyes. That was not how that night was supposed to go, but she had no fucking idea what or why he thought she’d encouraged anything. And the hypocrite was talking just the previous day about keeping the guests satisfied after she’d teased him about flirting. Did he really not trust her that much? She was well aware they were both drunk, so that was probably worse than it should be but still…it hurt.  She felt the tears sting her eyes and wiped them away as he breathed in deeply before standing to wash her face and clean her teeth.  
When she came back into the bedroom Ari was led on his back, looking up at the ceiling. She made an effort to ignore him and grabbed a vest and a pair of shorts, changed and got into bed, turning so her back was to him before clicking off the small lamp at her side of the bed.
Ari turned his head to look at her, letting out a sigh. He hesitated for a moment but he then shuffled and turned towards her back and was about to stretch his arm out for her when she spoke.
"Don’t you dare touch me, Ari."
He grit his teeth at her hoarse voice. He could tell she had been crying but at that point in time he was pissed off. He tried to come up with an equally hurtful comment to show his annoyance but all he managed to say was “Good night firefly."
As no response came on Hannah's part, with an angry groan and a roll of his eyes he turned back the other way and for the first time since they started sharing a bed 2 years ago, they didn’t fall asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms.
And the space between them felt like miles.
******
The next morning Ari woke up to Simon, as always, led on his face. Pushing him off, the dog giving the usual low grumble of protest, Ari grimaced a little at the movement, his limbs feeling heavy.  The room was quiet, but he could hear Hannah in the bathroom. With a groan he dropped his arm over his eyes in an attempt to keep the light from painfully flooding his system. His head was pounding and the inside of his mouth felt like he had been eating the sand from the beach.
He cast his mind back over the events of the night and he could remember drinking, fooling around and then everything going to shit. He really didn’t want to think about it, but his stubborn brain led him to replay it over and over again. The more he thought about it, the more he knew he had been an ass, but that bastard making a move to kiss his girl had sent him into overdrive. Fortunately the current set of tourists were leaving that morning and once they were gone Ari could concentrate on damage control with Hannah.
At that point the door to bathroom opened and he moved his arm away from his eyes to see Hannah stepping back into the room, already dressed in a pair of red shorts and a loose fitting white t-shirt that slouched off her right shoulder giving him a flash of her blue bikini strap. Ignoring the fact that the room was spinning, Ari sat up slightly in bed to look at her for a moment before he tentatively spoke.
“You woke up early Firefly” his voice was a little croaky, fuck he needed water.  
“Couldn’t sleep” came the clipped response.
“Han…” he sighed, but she clearly wasn’t in the mood to speak to him.
“I think I’m gonna go for a walk on the beach.” She replied, her tone flat. Ari started to protest but she completely ignored him. “I need to get out of here. I’m suffocating”
“Hannah.” He tried again, and this time she took a deep, annoyed voice and snapped her head round to look at him.
“What?” she demanded.
He knew that speaking to her whilst she was still angry at him would merely result in them arguing even more so he sighed, shaking his head. “Nothing.”
“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes and walked towards the door. As she wrenched it violently open, Simon bounced off the bed and trotted after her as she left, slamming it behind her causing Ari to wince at the noise.
He lay back with a groan, cursing himself. Hannah was really pissed, and now his mind began to wander furiously. He had to make this right, he couldn’t risk losing her. Not again.
“For fucks sake Levinson, get a grip” he chastised himself. This was an argument, a stupid, ridiculous argument that’s all. Worrying about losing her was a little extreme. Wasn’t it?
He lay there, his mind arguing with itself for a few minutes before the sound of voices drifted through the lattice screens which covered the window to their hut. Knowing that he really should get up to see the guests off he kicked off the blankets and swung his legs off the side of the bed before he headed into the bathroom. After a quick shower he pulled on a clean pair of swim shorts and a light and pink hooped t-shirt before he shoved on his socks and hiking boots and headed out.
Breakfast was a quiet affair. Everyone was visibly hungover, plus the tension between Ari and Hannah was festering in the air casting a shadow over the usual well natured meal. There was no gentle touching, no longing looks, no grins, no giggles. The atmosphere was sour, and impossible to ignore.
“You ok, Han?” Sammy looked at his sister as she was picking at a croissant, not really eating much of it.
“Fine Sam.” Her response was short but not angry. Sammy frowned and looked at Ari who was drinking his coffee, deliberately avoiding anyone’s gaze.
Rachel and Jake exchanged glances as Max studied Hannah for a moment. Suddenly conscious everyone’s attention was her she pushed her plate away from her and stood up.
“Excuse me, I need to feed Simon.”
She moved away from the table, Ari following her with his eyes, his head bowing slightly once she was out of sight.
“Something wrong with Cracker?” Max asked.
“Leave it.” Sammy instructed, his eyes flicking to Ari’s before his best friend turned away. He then glanced at Rachel who gave a small sigh and stood up, ready to go and find her but Ari stopped her as he drained his coffee and issued an instruction.
“Make sure everyone is checked out, the bus will be leaving in 30.”
Rachel looked at him, blinking but she didn’t argue “Sure.”
With that he stood up and wandered outside, lighting up a cigarette. As he took a drag he leaned on the wall and out came the group of tourists that had been dancing with the girls the night before. He nodded his head to greet them, a little stiffly, offering no trace of a smile. His eyes watched the asshole that had made the move on his Firefly as he nudged one of the guys on his left, laughing as one by one they settled on the sun-loungers, a few meters away, suitcases by their side ready to depart.
Ari tuned his attention to the ocean, watching the early morning sun bouncing off the surface, and he was trying not to listen, he really was, but he just couldn’t help it when one of the guys, clear as day, asked the asshole if he had said goodbye properly to the Spanish hotty. Ari stiffened, and found himself suddenly undecided as to whether he was happy he could understand German or not.
“I wish.” The asshole laughed in his home language “She seems to have disappeared into thin air. I’m so pissed I only got to speak to her on the last day.”
“You’ve been eyeing her up since we arrived man!” one of the other guys shot back “Pity she turned you down.”
Another snorted “Yeah man, flat out no!”
Sniggers arose from the group and then one of them looked up, Ari hastily averting his gaze, but he clearly wasn’t quick enough.
“Keep it down, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her with the owner”
Asshole shrugged “He’s American, not German, can’t understand us!”
Ari fought to keep his face straight. Dick.
“You know, you’re worse than that dog that wanders around!” the guy that had told them to shut up shook his head “You cannot keep it in your pants anywhere!” “Can’t help it. But come on, guys! You seen her?”
“Yes, yes we have. She cute.”
Asshole sighed “Pity we’re leaving, reckon I could have worn her down, got her on her back with a little more time.”
Ari felt his jaw clench, he’d heard enough. With a cough he cleared his throat and then felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Rachel looking at him.
“All set.”
He nodded and turned back to the group of boys “Bus is ready if you want to climb up.”
They all turned to look at him and the one sat nearest on the edge of a lounger nodded. “Sure man.”
Ari watched them all gather their luggage and make their way back into the hotel. He nodded as they all walked past him, Asshole taking up the rear, and as he went to pass, Ari placed his arm over the doorway, hand curling round the edge of the frame, blocking his way.
“Hey…” Asshole began to protest but Ari fixed him with an icy glare.
“Next time you wanna talk about getting my girl on her back, maybe check I can’t actually understand you…and for the record, if you weren’t leaving today you’d be shark bait.” He hissed in German, before he moved his arm as Asshole swallowed, his eyes wide with shock and horror. Ari smiled and then spoke to him in English “Have a safe trip home, dick.”
The guy scurried away as fast as he could, Ari’s eyes burning a hole in his back as he left. Once he was out of sight the anger Ari was feeling gave way to guilt as he had basically accused Hannah of leading the asshole on, even though he knew that wasn’t the case. Hannah wouldn’t dream of doing something like that. Sometimes she could be a little flirty but then so could he, it was just who they were, and to accuse her the way he had done was ridiculous. But then again he had been drunk, and even when sober he was a total mess when it came to his girl, and now she was giving him the cold shoulder.
He had to fix this.
Taking a deep breath he headed inside to look for Hannah and found her in the office with Rachel. Immediately he spotted her red puffy eyes and the concern on Rachel’s face and that made him feel like complete shit.
“Rachel, can you give us a minute?” he asked softly. Rachel looked to him before she shrugged.
“Sure”
She turned and left the office, not before giving him a filthy look and once she was gone Hannah looked at him.
“What do you want Ari?” She sniffed and Ari took a deep breath
“Sweetheart, I'm sorry”
“Sorry for what exactly?” she tipped her chin up to look at him, and Ari should have known she wasn’t going to let him off with a mere, simple and overarching apology.
“Last night. I was out of order” “Talk about an understatement! You basically called me a slut.”
“No, Hannah.” Ari began to protest “That’s not what I said.”
“Not with those exact words maybe, but you implied it Ari.”
“It’s not what I meant.” He repeated his sentiment, “Look, I’m so sorry Han. I don’t know what got into me”
“You know…” Hannah shook her head “I knew you had this jealous streak in you but..”  she took a deep breath and licked her lips .”I think I need some space”
At that she made to pass him in the doorway but Ari gently grabbed her arm. “Han, wait.”
“Let me go Ari”
Ari glanced down at his hand and released her arm “Hannah.”
“I just need to be alone.” She swallowed “Please.”
At that Ari gave a small nod and stepped to the side allowing her to leave. With a groan he ran both hand through his hair before his right fist slammed down on the desk in a fit of rage.
“Fuck!” he yelled out, his voice and the thud of his hand punching the desk echoed around the room and he ran his hand down his beard. He was really worried now that he’d completely screwed everything. Today was fast shaping up to be a complete shit storm and it wasn’t even midday yet. For a second he considered heading after her but he knew he needed to respect her request for space, so instead he headed into the bar area, grabbed a bottle of bourbon, necked a shot or 3 to sort his headache out and turned on his heels and left.
****
Later that afternoon Hannah was heading to her hut when Rachel stopped her and said that she needed Ari’s passport for some paperwork which Colonel Madibo requested when he had stopped by on his Annual Visit a month or so prior. Rachel had failed to find Ari so had instead asked Hannah if she could find it in his absence.
As usual when she needed something, Rachel couldn’t wait, so Hannah shrugged and headed back to the hut to see if she could find it and decided to try his backpack first off. As she dug around her hands curled around a leather book. Curiosity piqued she removed it to see it was a note book of sorts and she flicked open the first page, finding it simply to be a log book, written mostly in code but she recognised it as being a short hand that most agents were trained in. It appeared to be accounts of the missions they’d run but as she closed it, she noticed that there were a few photos tucked into the back cover. She gently pulled them out and smiled as she saw the first one was of Ari and Maya when Maya was a toddler. Ari’s hair and beard both much shorter. The next one was a Polaroid of the team at the front of the hotel, then there was one of her and Simon which she had never seen before, but that had been taken yesterday morning from the looks of things, and then one of her, Ari and Sammy which was of her graduation. She frowned a little, unsure why Ari kept this with him considering it was from so long ago at a time when they hadn’t even been together. She turned it over, as if expecting to find the explanation there but she didn’t find anything but Ari’s haphazard scrawl in the bottom right hand corner- “Firefly’s Graduation”
A wave of nostalgia washed over her as she thought back to that day, the gift Ari had bought her, and that being the time she realised she was hopelessly in love with him. She swallowed, before tucking the photos back where she found them. After a little more digging in the backpack she found his passport and headed back to the main hotel and into the office. She held it out to Rachel who smiled, the grin immediately slipping as she caught sight of Hannah’s face.
“You ok?”
“Yeah…have you seen Ari?”
“Not since before no.”  Rachel took the passport she was holding out from Hannah “you know I’m sure he-“
“Yeah, I know.” Hannah shook her head, not wanting to talk about it anymore “Listen, Rachel, I don’t want dinner. I’m tired so I’ll grab something later if I’m hungry.”
“Ok, sure.”
She gave Rachel another smile before she made her way back out to the beach. She stood, hands on her hips as she contemplated going to find Ari to talk but before she could she heard Max yelling at her to take care of Simon who was chewing some of the equipment he and Jake were trying to store. With a groan she went to retrieve the pain-in-the-ass dog, took him back to the hut where she led on the bed and closed her eyes, completely drained.
When she woke a few hours later it was dark. The hut was completely silent apart from Simon’s soft snores and Ari was nowhere to be seen. Standing up she grabbed a warmer top as it had gone a little chilly outside and leaving Simon snoozing on her bed she wandered out onto the dimly lit beach to find him. The resort empty, not a soul to be seen, and it was completely dark apart from the light which was pooling out of the door which led to the main reception area. She made her way to the door which was open and saw Ari sat straddling the desk, legs dangling either side. They were swinging to and fro slightly, the muscles in his strong thighs straining and stretching as he did so, cigarette in his mouth as he studied the ‘Satisfied Guests’ board on the wall. With a soft sigh he led back against the desk, closing his eyes.  
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“Ari?” Hannah spoke softly and he turned his head sharply towards her. He eyed her for a moment, clearly trying to size up her mood and she allowed her face to soften slightly and he gave a slight smile in response.
“Hey firefly.”
“It’s late.” She stepped into the room a little more.
“I know.”
“So what are you doing sat on the desk?”
“Just reviewing our satisfied guest number.” He shrugged “Which is gonna go up tomorrow.”
“Exactly, so you should come to bed, you never sleep the night after a mission so…”
“I was gonna take one of the spare rooms.” Ari admitted and Hannah rolled her eyes.
“Don’t be so dramatic.”
“I’m not being dramatic” he shrugged. “You said you wanted space…”
“I’ve had space all day.”
“I know I just…well, was waiting for you to decide when you’d had enough…”
Hannah took a deep breath, bit her lip and nodded to the board he’d been studying. “Look at the back.” She instructed.
“What?” he frowned at her sudden change of subject.
“I said, look at the back of the board, Ari.”
He gave her another puzzled look before he shuffled over and spun it round, his eyes roaming the 5 digits that had been carved into the back. “3. 19. 80.” He looked at her “That’s you birthday 2 years ago.”
“Yeah.” She nodded, “I wanted that date permanently carving into something other than my brain.”
“I’m not…”
“It was the first time you told me you loved me” she explained softly, and Ari felt his eyes widen “I waited so long to hear you say it.” She took a deep breath “Which is why I can’t understand why you think I’d ever look at anyone else.”
Ari sighed, turning the board back round, as he spun his body to face her, legs dangling off the edge of the desk. “I don’t, Han. I was just being a stupid, jealous prick.”
Hannah took a deep breath, looking at him. His eyes were down cast, his face pinched with regret. She exhaled and shook her head “No more ok? I can’t deal with your stupid fits of pathetic jealousy and possessiveness.”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” He shook his head, looking down at his hands. “I just, well, you’re not the only one who waited so long for us. Sometimes I worry that, well you’ll realise that I’m just an asshole after all and that you could do so much better.”
“I already know you’re an asshole.” She shrugged, a smile playing on her lips “But you’re my asshole. And I don’t want to do any better.”
Ari’s eyes locked onto hers and he let out a deep breath, smiling softly before he gave a jerk of his head “C’mere…”
“Ari…”
“Just get up here Firefly”
The roll of her eyes and little groan would have maybe fooled anyone else into thinking she was frustrated, but not Ari. He caught the smile on her face as she walked over towards him and hopped up onto the counter. With a grin, Ari looped both his arms around her waist and clumsily pulled her with him as he fell back, both of them laying chest to chest, his arms round her holding her close. She gave a low chuckle, shaking her head.
“Dumbass.”
“Yeah.” He agreed, reaching up and tucking her hair behind her ears with both his hands. He then cupped her face gently, before he leaned up and gave her a soft kiss.
“I love you.”  He said gently “And I really am sorry.”
“I know.”
“You know that I love you or you know that I’m sorry?”
She hesitated for a second before she smirked and arched an eyebrow “Both”
Ari chuckled and Hannah grinned and lay against Ari’s chest, snuggling into his t-shirt, the top of her head up under his chin. Neither of them said anything for a little while, just lay there basking in one another’s warmth, the argument forgotten until eventually Hannah felt her eyes growing heavy.
“Ari.”
“Yeah”
“Seriously, we need to go to bed.”
“Yeah…” he hummed back, his hands stroking up her neck.
“I mean it.”
“Mmhmmm.”
“Ari!” she said exasperatedly and he gave a low groan.
“Okay, okay…”
With what felt like a Herculean effort Hannah pushed herself up and hopped down from the counter, Ari doing the same, his boot clad feet echoing around the empty room as the soles slapped on the tiles. He stretched his arms, causing his t-shirt to ride up a little at the bottom as he ran both hands through his hair. Silently, he held out his hand and Hannah slipped hers into it, and together they headed out of the door pausing only to turn off the lights and make sure the main doors were locked.
**** The next morning was hectic, for two main reasons. A new batch of guests had arrived and in between that they were doing the preps for the mission later that evening. Rachel and Hannah were busy with the guests whilst Max, Jake and Ari were busy with the equipment. Radios needed to be tested, the trucks needed to be checked over to ensure there would be no mechanical issues and Sammy was busy making sure the medical supplies were stocked and packed.
Once that was gone, Ari took himself off for a run, in an attempt to burn off some of the usual nervous energy he had the day of a mission. He was out for a good hour, and as he rounded the edge of the cove onto the last few hundred yard stretch of beach up to the resort he spotted a few new guests were sat out in the sun reading and chatting. He nodded to them as he rounded up the small path off the main shore line, coming to an abrupt halt as Simon ran up to him from goodness knows where, almost tripping him over.
“Hey bud…” Ari panted a little, removing his headphones and clicking off his walkman “Where’s mom?”
“Here.”
Ari spun round to see Hannah stood there in a pair of shorts and a white tank top, the strings of her bikini visible round her neck, her hair damp.
“Hey sweetheart.” He smiled, and she took a moment to look him up and down, noticing the sweat dripping from his forehead and his damp t-shirt that was sticking to his torso. “Pervert.”
She shrugged and grinned before she spoke again, her cover accent thick on her tongue. “Good run?”
He nodded as he continued his deep breathing looking round “Not as much fun as this morning’s exercise though.” He flashed her a cheeky wink as she chuckled and took the soft kiss he offered. “How’ bout you? Good dive?”
She nodded “Still waiting for that elusive Hammer-Head sighting. You know, I’m beginning to think Irvine made it up.”
With a chuckle Ari gently looped an arm round her, pulling her to him as they headed into the main room of the resort, Hannah shoving against him, protesting at the fact he was basically wiping his sweat all over her but their teasing and joking died down as Rachel immediately accosted them, her German accent flawless as always.
“There you are. I was just talking about you with our new guests.”
Ari looked up to see 3 people in chairs in the reception area, and as the man in front of him stood and turned he saw it was Walton Bowen, the guy from the CIA that he had last seen in Khartoum Airport.
“Mr. Thomas, nice to see you again.”
“Now this is a surprise.” Ari smiled, shaking the hand Bowen offered before his hands dropped to his hips, his breathing still recovering from his run.
“Well, I'm sure it is. You're not an easy man to find. I think I saw you nearly two years ago. You were an anthropologist back then.” Bowen eyed Ari shrewdly taking a drag from his baby cigar.
“Right, well...” Ari smiled again, “Didn't pay the bills.” He offered as means of an explanation for the huge change in career direction.
“Yeah…” Bowen looked at him again, his eyes then flicking to Hannah.
“Sorry, where are my manners.” Ari apologised, “Rosa, this is Mr Walton Bowen. Works for the US Embassy?” he made it a question, even though he knew full well all about Bowen’s actual background having been debriefed back in ‘79 following his arrest.
“Of a fashion” Mr Bowen smiled. “Cultural attaché”
“Right.” Ari nodded “Well, Mr Bowen, this is Rosa Garcia, my partner and head of guest relations.”
“It’s a pleasure.” Hannah smiled, shaking Bowen’s hand.  
“Likewise.” Bowen smiled, releasing her hand.
“And you’ve already met my general manager, Angela.” Ari concluded and both Bowen and Rachel nodded in agreement before she spoke.
“I was just about to give Aziz the dinner order, will you be staying?
Bowen shook his head “That’s very kind but, no thank you. We’ll need to get back.”
“Ok, well in that case can I grab you anything for now?” she asked.
“I could go for something.” Ari looked at her, knowing full well the mission meant he would miss dinner and they usually ate a little earlier. Rachel understood perfectly and gave him a nod, turning to go.
“I’ll help.” Hannah turned to Ari who nodded and dropped a kiss to her temple before she hurried out after Rachel. He turned back to Bowen who was simply looking at him, his eyebrow raised a little.
“She a guest who never left or…”
“It’s a long story.” Ari smiled.
“I’m sure it is Mr Thomas.”
Ari nodded and then gestured towards the dining room, indicating one of the tables. “Shall we?”
Bowen turned to the two people who were with him and with a jerk of his head they moved outside. Ari watched them go before he nodded and the two men made their way over and settled at the large table the team usually ate round. Ari grabbed them both a bottle of water from the fridge at the far side of the room and settled in a chair, his elbow leaning on the back of it, as relaxed as he could make himself. They made small talk until Hannah and Rachel, or Rosa and Angela even, having had Aziz fix some crudités and hummus brought them out and dropped them onto the table before they too moved outside to take some to the two other unannounced guests. As Ari watched Hannah then walked back past them into the kitchen, and he returned his attention to Bowen, trying to appear interested, all the time simply waiting to find out what the man had actually turned up for. “Well... the hawks are demanding stricter Sharia law. Nimeiry is increasingly paranoid.” Bowen spoke, dipping a carrot into the hummus. “If you ask me, this entire country is a fucking tinder box.”
“Really? We don't really feel that out here.”
“No?”
“No.”
At that they both looked up as Hannah walked back into the room with a jug of iced tea and placed it in the middle of the table.
“Thanks honey.” Ari smiled at her as he reached for it “You wanna join us?” He paused and glanced at Bowen who gestured with his hand to say he didn’t mind so he poured 3 glasses and Hannah sat down at the seat next to him. Ari sat back in his chair, his arm casually draping over the high back of hers, her hand dropping to his thigh, fingers curling around the curve of the muscle, gently squeezing. He was tense, she could feel it. She softly rubbed his skin and his hand moved slightly in response, the pads of his fingers began tracing random shapes on the top of her arm.
“State's sent cargo planes for us, ready to evac in the event things take a turn for the worse. Oh. -And this refugee crisis, it's... it's really not helping.” Bowen shook his head as he looked at Ari, then Hanna, who met him with a blank look.
“Refugee crisis?” Hannah frowned.
“Yeah, you have entire refugee neighbourhoods just disappearing.” Bowen gestured with his hands “Into thin air.” “And that’s bad?” Hannah’s voice was puzzled. “Refugees are normally viewed as a burden, I’m not following.”
Clever girl… Ari looked down at the table, scratching his head
“The UN offers a stipend to the Sudanese for every refugee they house, so when people start to disappear that's just...  bad for business.” Bowen finished matter of factly.
At his blasé tone, Hannah felt herself growing a little angry at the way he was talking about real life people. Her people more specifically, as if they were nothing but commodities to be traded.
“Well…” Ari cut in, “The only crisis we face is whether or not we catch fresh lobster.” The three of them laughed as Ari shook his head. “Just kidding.”
“Well, I just got back from Gedaref, where the Mukhabarat had executed another 30 people.” Walton Bowen deadpanned and instantly the mood around the table changed. Cold washed over Hannah and besides her Ari shifted ever so slightly in his seat, the smile slipping from his face. “This is quite serious.2
Ari inhaled deeply and raised his eyebrows, he was done. They had a mission to prep for, and now more than ever he had to make sure that it was a success especially as his prediction seemed to be coming true- the net was closing in on them now and who knows how long they had. “I'd like to stay and chat, but I gotta get back to work.” He spoke, looking at Bowen.
“Yes, we have dinner to do and some night diving to prepare.” Hannah added.
“Sure. Okay.” Bowen nodded as the two of them stood up “Enjoy the...” he waved at the food on the table with his other hand as they both walked towards the exit, but Walton said something else that stopped them both in their tracks.
“Kabede Bimro, right?”
Ari glanced at Hannah, the pair of them hastily covering their shock with what they hoped looked like a confused glance and Ari shot a look at Bowen “Excuse me?”
“Hmm? Oh I just think it's such a funny name. Kabede.” The man shrugged.
“Yeah…” Ari made a face as if he found the whole thing baffling, before he turned back, his hand dropping to Hannah’s back but before they could move Bowen spoke again.
“And what about Ethan Navon…”
Hannah gave a little start. It was slight, an almost imperceptible slip, but a slip none the less. She swallowed, recovering, and turned to look at Ari, frowning.
“Guy, do you know what he’s talking about?” she asked.
Ari shook his head “Not a clue Firefly” he used her nickname in the hope it would calm her, and also to play the whole situation as naturally as he could. He looked at Bowen “I really have no idea who these people you’re talking about are, should I?”
“You tell me”
“I wish I could.” Ari gave a chuckle, shaking his head again, and giving Bowen a look that he hoped made the man believe that Ari thought he was crazy.
“You know, Mr Bowen…” Hannah spoke again “It’s getting late and it can get dark out there pretty quickly. If you’d like a room for the night we can fix it.”
“Not necessary, but I wouldn’t mind a look round.” Bowen shrugged “Maybe I’ll come stay sometime in the future, that is if I’m still in the Country, of course.”
“Go ahead” Ari nodded “Just shout if you need us.”
At that the pair of them made their way as calmly as possible from the dining room and into the kitchen, where the rest of the team was congregated. “What's the CIA doing here?” Sammy asked, “What did he want?”
“I don't know.” Ari ran his hand over his beard.
“He mentioned Dad, Sammy. Hannah looked at him.”
“I heard” Sammy nodded.
“I think he was trying to warn us.” Hannah shrugged.
“Fuck! He knows about Kabede.” Jake slapped his palm on the side behind him and Ari stood up tall, looking through the doorway at Bowen before he turned back.
“We gotta go.”
“No, this is just so fucking stupid.” Sammy shook his head “Tell Kabede it's too dangerous. We'll pick it up in two weeks when we have a chance to assess the threat.”
“We have 200 people—“ Ari began to protest but he was cut off by Sammy
“Yeah, and we'll have 200 people less if we fuck it up.” He hissed.
“For fuck's sake, Sammy, will you just trust me for once?”
“Well, if we're doing this, we need to leave now.” Hannah spoke, looking around “So what's it gonna be?”
Max, who hadn’t spoken a word since Ari and Hannah had joined them, swallowed the sandwich he had been eating and wiped his hands on his shorts “We go.”
“That simple?” Sammy looked at him and Max turned to Sammy, fixing him with a stare.
“Yeah, that simple.”
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disneytva · 5 years
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‘The Owl House’: It’s a Hoot!
You would never think that the dark art of 15th century Dutch artist Hieronymus Bosch would serve as the inspiration for a children’s cartoon. Well, thanks to Dana Terrace and her wild imagination, the strange creatures conjured by the European painter have found their way in the new Disney Channel series The Owl House. The show, which debuts in January, and is already in production of its second season, follows the adventures of a young teenage girl named Luz who decides to pursue her dreams of becoming a witch after she stumbles into a strange realm, inhabited by feisty witch Eda and her tiny warrior friend King.
Terrace, a former director on DuckTales and storyboard artist on Gravity Falls, recalls starting to collect her notes and images and putting together her pitch for the story back in 2015. Then, she finally began pitching her story about a young girl who becomes a witch’s apprentice only a few months after she started directing DuckTales.
“Many of the characters have barely changed since then,” recalls Terrace. “I knew I wanted an older witch mentor figure and a young optimistic girl who was the main character, who learns and grows throughout the show. There’s also this trickster little jerk character named King (voiced by Gravity Falls creator Alex Hirsch).”
The setting for The Owl House changed a little bit since its early days. Terrace says for a brief time, she was toying with the idea of the whole show being set after the young character dies, so that the Owl House is all set in the afterlife. What really had a clear impact on her work is the work of artists such as Bosch, John Bauer, Remedios Varos and the puppetry of Jim Henson.
Real-Life Models
In addition to the crazy creatures of Bosch and religious illuminated manuscripts, Terrace found inspiration in some of the familiar elements in her life as well. “I have always wanted to tell a story about a rough-around-the-edges mother figure, based off of my aunt, nana and mother who raised me,” she recalls.
Terrace says the show’s central character Luz evolved from late-night conversations she used to have with her former roommate roommate and close college friend. “We were both dorks together,” she recalls. “We tried to cut our own hair and it never worked out. We didn’t have many friends. So, in a way, Luz bubbled out of our conversations. When I told her that I was going to base the main character on her, she said, ‘Yes , but you’ll have to make her Dominican.’ So that’s what happened. Luz now also works on the show as a storyboard artist and consultant, and I get to work with my best friend every day.”
As a young girl, Terrace used sneak into the living room to watch cartoons and copy what she liked in her flip books. Her love for shows such as The Simpsons, Pokémon, The PowerPuff Girls and Studio Ghibli movies finally lead her to study animation at School of Visual Arts in New York and make her way out to L.A. to pursue a career in the animation business. Her first big break happened when someone discovered her art blog and sent her a storyboarding test, which led to her landing a job at Gravity Falls and opened other doors as well.
During her big pitch to Disney, Terrace says she was a bit worried to mention Bosch and his odd, evil creatures, but to her surprise, one of the executive’s response was, “Heck, yeah!” “They have been nothing more than enthusiastic and helpful from day one,” she notes.
After spending a good year writing and making the pilot, Terrace began building her production team in 2018. Art director Ricky Cometa and supervising producer Stephen Sandoval also joined the Disney TV Animation production. At capacity, the show has about 50 staffers as part of its pre-production crew, and an overall count of 120 including the overseas teams at Sunwoo, Rough Draft and Sugarcube in Korea. We’ve been very fortunate to work with all of them,” says Terrace. “They’ve made the show really, really spark.” 
The Owl House has attracted a top-notch list of vocal talent as well, including Wendie Malick as Eda, Hirsch as King and Sarah-Nicole Robles as Luz. Among the guest star lineup for the show’s first season are Matthew Rhys, Isabella Rossellini, Tati Gabrielle, Issac Ryan Brown, Mae Whitman, Bumper Robinson and Parvesh Cheena. Terrace points out that having a sterling class led by Malick has been a real treat. “Our witch could have been a very hard character to cast, because we wanted to have sass and energy, and Wendie was absolutely perfect. She came in with all her talent and experience, and my first instinct was ‘You don’t need any direction. Do whatever you want to do because you are amazing!”
She also mentions that she knew Alex Hirsch was going to end up playing the little sidekick King. “I used to hear him pitch when I worked on Gravity Falls. I knew that he can bring a lot to the characters he plays. He would also give me some helpful advice about running his own show and working at Disney.”
Art director Ricky Cometa (Steven Universe, Costume Quest) says he was swept away by Terrace’s wild ideas and spectacular imagery, things that were not usually seen in children’s animation. “The second she came in and said, ‘I want you to read this show bible. The first thing that caught my eye was ‘Bosch and the demon world?’ I very much needed help to figure out what this world looks like. We had this blank canvas and there was a lot of religious iconography. I knew we were going to push the boundaries. I mean we are doing the demon realm on the Disney Channel? You bet I’m in!” 
Cometa points out that it was clear that they needed to balance the darker aspects of the witch’s world with the more light-hearted and fun components of Luz’s comical adventures. “At first, I wasn’t sure how dark we could have made the world this world that Luz jumps into initially. We had to make clear decisions about when the story needed to be scary— when do we highlight the darker moments versus when the story is lighthearted and welcoming. It was all about finding that right balance of warmth and spookiness.”
Terrace agrees. “If we made everything super scary and spooky — which is something I’m not afraid of, scaring my audience — but if we made everything the same color, then the scary parts and the day-to-day light-hearted parts wouldn’t have popped. We needed that contrast for writing purposes.”
Amazingly enough, Terrace is only the fourth woman to solely create and run an animated series for Disney — following in the footsteps of Sue Rose (Pepper Ann), Chris Nee (Doc McStuffins) and Daron Nefcy (Star vs. The Forces of Evil). She says one of her biggest challenges on the show was going through the learning process to run a writer’s room, which includes four other writers and a writer’s assistant. “Before this show I had always written and drawn my own comics and cartoons, but this was the first time I had written scripts professionally. Learning the process of writing scripts and learning to run a writers’ room was probably the biggest challenge for me. Luckily, I was with a team of talented writers, and we all kind of learned together. Most of that team has carried on to the second season, and we’re very excited to keep writing together.
As the show begins its run on Disney Channel, Terrace says that ultimately she hopes audiences will be entertained by Luz’s world and her off-the-wall adventures. “There are so many different kinds of animated shows out there and so many traditional and streaming services, that I don’t think it’s possible to have a gigantic blowout hit anymore. At the end of the day, no matter how much stuff is out there, stories with interesting core characters and relatable, understandable stories will shine through.”
Art director Ricky Cometa (Steven Universe, Costume Quest) says he was swept away by Terrace’s wild ideas and spectacular imagery, things that were not usually seen in children’s animation. “The second she came in and said, ‘I want you to read this show bible. The first thing that caught my eye was ‘Bosch and the demon world?’ I very much needed help to figure out what this world looks like. We had this blank canvas and there was a lot of religious iconography. I knew we were going to push the boundaries. I mean we are doing the demon realm on the Disney Channel? You bet I’m in!”
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wiypt-writes · 3 years
Text
Leave No One Behind
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Ch 12- Win Some, Lose Some Part 2
Co written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​
Summary: After 2 years of being at the resort Ari and the other agents are gearing up for yet another mission, but there’s a little bit of trouble in paradise for him and Hannah…
Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut (NSFW, 18+ only)
Pairings: Ari Levinson x OFC Hannah Horowitz
Leave No One Behind Masterlist // Main Masterlist
Part 1
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Ari woke the next morning and instantly realised something was missing. Simon’s ass from his face. With a stretch he cracked his neck slightly and opened one eye to find that Hannah was also gone. With a little yawn he sat up, rubbing his eyes before he swung his legs off the side of the bed and stood up, heading to the small bathroom. Once finished, he located a pair of swim shorts form the chest of drawers at the side of the hut and pulling them on he made his way outside.
Hannah wasn’t far away. In fact, she was stood straight in front of the hut at the water’s edge as Simon stood by her side, the pair of them simply looking out over the ocean which was alive with the rich, warm pinks and oranges of the rising sun. She was dressed in Ari’s shirt from the night before, her hair in a tangle of curls as it fell down her back, and there was something so raw and intimate about the moment it made Ari’s breath catch. Slipping back into the hut he located Hannah’s polaroid camera and quickly made his way back outside. He took a quick snap, and returned back inside, placing it back down along with the photo to develop before he strode back out of the door and down to the water’s edge.
Of course Simon heard him coming and turned, eliciting a little bark as he trotted towards him. He leaned down to give his dog an ear scratch before he smiled at Hannah who had turned her head over her shoulder to face him. She responded with a smile of her own, looking back at the ocean as he wrapped his arms around her from behind dropping a gentle kiss to her neck.
“You’re up early.” He said as her hands gently came to rest on his strong arms as they pulled her back into him, the fabric of the shirt she was wearing brushing against his bare chest.
“Couldn’t sleep.” She shrugged.
Ari’s nose nuzzled against the skin below her ear and he pressed another soft kiss to her jaw line “You still feeling a little down?”
Hannah took a deep breath and shrugged as her nails raked over his arms.
“You know, if it’s too much…you could go back.” He suggested and felt her still.
“As in, for good?”
“Yeah.” Ari shrugged, “Like I said, I don’t think we have an awful lot of time left…”
“I’m not quitting” Hannah said simply, turning in his arms. “I came to do a job, and I’m gonna see it through.”
“I knew you’d say that” he chuckled and Hannah watched her hands as they smoothed up over his pecs to his shoulders before she met his eyes.
“Why ask me then?” she arched an eyebrow as she looked at him, his hands flexing on her hips.
“Because I love you and I don’t wanna see you sad or unhappy because of me ever again.”
“This isn’t because of you.” Hannah shook her head “You egotistical ass.”
“Harsh!” Ari cocked an eyebrow as she grinned as he huffed out a laugh, “But I mean it Han. I don’t want you feeling like you have to stay.”
“I don’t” she shrugged “Honestly, don’t worry about me. It’ll pass Ari, I promise.”
She pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss before she glanced over to their left and nodded as two people passed them on the beach. “Guests are stirring, I should go shower and get ready for breakfast.”
“Ok.” He nodded and she looked up at him, biting her lip.
“Wanna come scrub my back?”
“You know…” Ari’s hands locked at the base of her back “The amount of times you ask me to do that, you should really invest in a loofah.”
“Yeah but, where’s the fun in that?” she grinned “Besides, why have a wolf and howl yourself?”
Ari gave a snort as she grinned again, stepping out of his hold, slipping her hand into his before she tugged him along with her over the sand towards their hut, Simon trotting behind them. 
****
One of the best traditions the team had come up with since they had started running a now not-so-fake hotel was the party they always held the night before a group of tourists were due to leave. It was the perfect excuse to let loose and celebrate together with another group of satisfied guests, albeit not the ones that were counted on the board. There was always a great bonfire, drinks and good music all accompanied by lots of laughter and wishes of a safe trip back home. 
That night to be no exception to the rule and as Ari and Max were putting the final touch to the makeshift dance floor and checking the sound system, which had been upgraded since the first time they threw that kind of farewell party, Jake and Hannah were in charge of starting the bonfire under the watchful eye of Sammy. Rachel was looking after them all and ensuring they had a steady supply of beer before she settled down on Sammy’s lap. Simon stood a little away from the group, minding his own business which was chasing and trying to bite his own tail.
They were all discussing the choice of music for the night, as Ethan had sent them some new records with the latest shipment, and Max picked one out to check the sound system was up and running. As the upbeat sounds of Rio by Duran Duran rang across the beach the conversation had taken a rather odd turn, shifting to the discussion about who was the best front man- Simon Le Bon vs John Taylor.
"I used to have hair like John Taylor..." Jake piped up, taking a swig of his beer.
"So did Sammy." Hannah snorted, the look on her brother's face made her burst out with laughter as besides her Ari chuckled, his arm draped over her shoulders.
Sammy groaned. "Yeah, laugh all you want but we don't need to discuss that."
"And the stash?" she pressed, making Jake laugh out loud and Rachel chuckle. “Can we discuss that?”
Sammy glared at Jake and then at his sister. "Shut up, Han."
But, despite Sammy's deadly stares, Hannah continued her tirade. "You should have seen him. It was pretty...”
"Cool?" Jake cut her off.
"Disturbing." she blurted out with a grin.
"You two can kiss my ass." Sammy snapped at them, the pair of them dying with laughter by then, before he patted Rachel's hip and stood up to go and get changed.
A few hours later the party was in full swing, and the alcohol was flowing. Hannah who was visibly drunk by then had disappeared for some time and had returned with her polaroid and was busy annoying the boys with it. 
“Pose for me guys…you’re so pretty.” She grinned, before she looked at her brother “Well, apart from you Sammy."
"Fucking fuck you Han." Sammy protested as he staggered, almost falling over.
Rachel started howling just as Ari chuckled and hiccuped. "You can’t, don’t talk to her like that man." he said, shoving Sammy a little, spilling some of his beer in the process. "Oops." he hiccuped again.
"She’s a dick." Sammy snarled.
"Yeah but man…just no." Ari managed to say, his tongue feeling thick and not quite cooperating.
"Lobo stop mooooving. I’m tryina take a photo." Hannah whined, looking at them. "Sammy can you just... like not be here. In the picture I mean." she said as she shifted her weight on the sand trying to not lose balance.
"Red if you make us stand here any longer my clothes are gonna go outta fashion." Jake complained as he let his head fall, his arms over Max and Ari's shoulders.
"Your clothes were outta fashion when my papa was alive, Jake." Hannah quipped, fast as lighting
"Bitch!" Jake groaned.
“Hey, don’t call my girl names, asshole." Ari teased, yanking Jake's arm off his shoulder and turning to shove him which ended in both men faking a heated fight on the sand. "For fuck sake Hannah." Sammy yelled, stepping away from Jake and Ari's mock fight. "Take the camera back inside. You’re drunk."
"So are you." she said, sticking her tongue out at her brother.
"Yeah but I ain’t holding a camera, it’ll end up full of sand or broken."
She paused and looked at him as his words sunk in, and then she shrugged “Yes Dad” and started walking towards her and Ari's hut, stumbling on the sand, drunk as she was. Only she stumbled a little more heavy than she was anticipating and unable to steady herself she was fully expecting to face plant into the sand, until a hand gently grabbed her arm to stop her from falling.  
"Thanks." she whispered honestly as she looked up to see one of the younger guests from the group that had been diving with Jake the day before smiling at her.
“You’re welcome.” He spoke, but not loosening his grip, instead he kept his gaze locked on her, grin spreading across his face.
Max, who had been watching the guy with curiosity, nudged Ari and nodded his head towards the scene.
"What the fuck is that bastard doing?" Ari yelled, a big frown on his sweaty forehead as he released Jake from the headlock he’d had him in.
"Touching up Cracker...I think..." Max shrugged.
"Quit stirring Max " Jake spoke, brushing the sand off his shirt. "She tripped and he stopped her falling bud, that's it."
Ari groaned and took a sip from his beer, eyes still watching. Eventually he saw Hannah step back and laugh before heading up towards their hut. But he didn't miss the way the dark haired man’s eyes followed her, or the way his pals all nudged him and gestured in Hannah’s direction, all of them grinning.
"I’m watching you, you German bastard." Ari mumbled but loud enough for Sammy to hear.
"I told you. It’s always Germans." Sammy said before hiccuping.
"Fuck off. My parents are German." Rachel shoved Sammy.
"Yeah Sammy, the in laws won’t like you talking like that." Max scoffed and Ari snorted as Sammy's eyes opened wide with realisation.
"Sorry babe." Sammy apologized and then glared at Ari. Having heard his snort "Yeah, like my mother likes you, asshole."
“You know your mother loves me, jerk. So much so I went round for dinner last time I was home and she made meatloaf."
"What? Why did you…" Sammy stuttered and Ari grinned at him. "Fuck…"
"No, that’s Ethan’s job." Ari quipped, making everyone but Sammy burst out with laughter.
"You’re sick, you know that? That’s disgusting." Sammy glared at him.
"Everything is disgusting according to you." Jake stated, with a shrug.
"To be fair the thought of my mom banging my boss...." Max said, shuddering at the thought.
"Shut up Irving!" 
"He’s very charming with all those elegant outfits." Rachel conceded.
"Yeah well he can go and charm someone else." Sammy glared at her.
"Don’t you mean some-mum else?" Jake snorted, making Sammy groan as they all sniggered. 
"But Rachel has a point. None of you have seen his silk robe." Ari spoke and Max was fast in following suit. "Mama N has."  He grinned at Ari who grimaced, readying himself for Sammy's final outburst.
"Will you all shut the fuck up?" he growled.
"Ok, ok sorry Sammy." Ari tried to calm him down as he shook his head
"What’s up? Are you angry again Sammy bear?" Hannah, who had just come back, asked noticing her brother's angry face. And she felt Ari's arm curl possessively round her waist, pulling her to him as he chuckled at Sammy's roll of eyes at her sister's pet name for him.
"Sammy doesn’t like Ethan banging your mother, Red." Jake explained, crooking a smile at Sammy.
Hannah wrinkled her nose at the mention of Ethan being her mother's partner. "Well... whatever" she started and then shrugged "Come on guys, let’s dance. I wanna dance." she suddenly changed topic as she grabbed Rachel's hand pulling her towards the “dance floor”.
"Bye then." Max raised his beer to the retreating girls.
"Yeah I’m gonna go dance too." Jake announced, and Ari saw his eyes flicker over a pretty blonde woman who was stood with a group of her friends.
"By dance you mean grind against some clueless tourist?" Max jabbed at Jake who flipped a finger at him as he left.
"They won't be clueless for long." Ari snorted. Half an hour later, after some dancing and more drinking, Ari noticed Hannah and Rachel were surrounded by the German Tourists who had all been watching Hannah. Ari was observing from a distance, the jealousy building slowly but surely, and when at one point he saw one of them wrap an arm round Hannah's shoulder and dip his head unabashedly towards her face he snapped.
"Fucker" he snarled as he started striding over but was stopped by someone grabbing his shoulder. He turned round only to see Sammy was the one holding him back.
"Don't cause a scene man. Han's got it, look." Sammy nodded his head in the girls' direction causing Ari to turn to look in time to see Hannah pulling away, her hands planted on the guy’s chest, shaking her head firmly.
"Yeah, back off asshole…" Ari hissed. "Wait. Is she smiling at him? Why is she smiling at him?" he asked Sammy, his eyes never leaving the scene though.
"She's just being polite." Max said in an attempt to downplay the issue.
"Sure." Ari snorted as he watched Hannah still smiling, her hands still on the guy’s shoulders. "Whatever. I’m ending this now." and he motioned to start towards the guy again. Sammy groaned and called at him to stop, but this time it was Max who physically did it.
"Look chill. There’s nothing going on there and like Sammy said, you’ll cause a scene. Besides Jake is close by."
But Ari was pissed and he was equally drunk, his alcohol fuelled brain wasn't working logically as all he could see was Hannah smiling at that guy that was far too close to her. As he stood watching, his jaw twitching, fists balling at his side, eventually the guy stepped back and held his hands up, turning to leave the girls alone.
Hannah watched the guy as he went, shaking her head at his complete and utter forward nature,  and then spotted Ari. His handsome features which were usually soft when he looked at her were hardened and his gentle blue eyes blazed with rage she hadn’t seen in a long time. She frowned at the outward display of anger and she excused herself from Rachel and Jake and headed over.
"I’m gonna grab a snack." Max was the first to split, as soon as he noticed Hannah approaching.
"Good idea." Sammy agreed and they hastily headed off. 
Hannah watched them for a moment as they left and then turned to Ari, whose jaw was twitching. "What’s wrong Lobo?"
"You tell me Firefly." he replied and she frowned at his flat tone.
"I don't know that's why I asked." she said softly, not wanting to fuel whatever was bothering him.
He scoffed. "You can’t be that oblivious."
Hannah stared at him and frowned again. "Are you talking about that guy just then?"
"Oh, so you do know what I’m talking about then."
She groaned, his jealous nature which was cute at times was at others fucking annoying.  "Ari, he made a pass at me, I told him no. I'm not sure what else there is to say."  
She frowned, feeling slightly puzzled not least because she had done nothing wrong but if Ari really believed what he had seen, then he surely would have been straight in there. He had done it before…
"Why you think he made that move?" Ari asked shrugging slightly at Hannah’s shocked expression.
"You think…” Hannah trailed off, her puzzled expression sliding into one of anger as she realised what Ari was implying and she narrowed her eyes. “You know what? Fuck this." she snarled and turned to leave.
"Firefly!" he growled. "Where do you think you’re going? Come back here! Hannah!"
Hannah stopped and turned to face him, gathering all the self-control she had in her not to slap him straight across his face for yelling at her. "To bed Ari. But for the record the only reason I'm not screaming at you right now is because of all these guests. You're being a fucking asshole, Levinson."
 "No, I’m not." he hissed. "You’re being a brat Hannah."
"I’m being a brat?" she let out a sarcastic, hearty laugh. "Fuck you." she spat at him and with that she stormed off in their hut direction.
Ari stood frozen watching her leave for a moment and when the realization of what had just happened washed over him he kicked the sand. "Fuck!" and he paused for a few seconds, considering his options, before he went after her. He could tell she was aware he was just behind her as she sped up till she finally reached the hut and went to slam the door but Ari got his foot in the way.
"Nice try Firefly."
"Fuck you Ari." she spat those words at him again.
Simon looked up from where he had been dozing on the bed, his head cocking to the side at the raised voices.
"Hey! I’m the one who has the right to be pissed." 
"No, no you don’t Ari!"
"Ok, now, you listen to me…" Ari said sternly as he brushed his hair off his face.
“I don't wanna listen. I'm done." she bit back.
"Fine, whatever." he said as he took off his shirt and went into the bathroom. He usually let her go first but not that night, he was making his point and was determined to stand for it, whatever it took or so he thought as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, his hands gripping the basin so hard his knuckles were now white. He sighed and tried to steady his breathing before sorting himself out and emerging into the room again.
 "Can I go in now?" Hannah asked sarcastically, standing up from where she was sat on the bed.
"All yours." he replied, equally as sarcastic.  
She stalked past him, staring straight ahead, before she shut the door behind her. Once alone in the room she  sat on the toilet, her head in her hands as she started sobbing, all the rage she was feeling seeping from her eyes. That was not how that night was supposed to go, but she had no fucking idea what or why he thought she’d encouraged anything. And the hypocrite was talking just the previous day about keeping the guests satisfied after she’d teased him about flirting. Did he really not trust her that much? She was well aware they were both drunk, so that was probably worse than it should be but still…it hurt.  She felt the tears sting her eyes and wiped them away as he breathed in deeply before standing to wash her face and clean her teeth.  
When she came back into the bedroom Ari was led on his back, looking up at the ceiling. She made an effort to ignore him and grabbed a vest and a pair of shorts, changed and got into bed, turning so her back was to him before clicking off the small lamp at her side of the bed.
Ari turned his head to look at her, letting out a sigh. He hesitated for a moment but he then shuffled and turned towards her back and was about to stretch his arm out for her when she spoke.
"Don’t you dare touch me, Ari."
He grit his teeth at her hoarse voice. He could tell she had been crying but at that point in time he was pissed off. He tried to come up with an equally hurtful comment to show his annoyance but all he managed to say was “Good night firefly."
As no response came on Hannah's part, with an angry groan and a roll of his eyes he turned back the other way and for the first time since they started sharing a bed 2 years ago, they didn’t fall asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms.
And the space between them felt like miles.
**** The next morning Ari woke up to Simon, as always, led on his face. Pushing him off, the dog giving the usual low grumble of protest, Ari grimaced a little at the movement, his limbs feeling heavy. The room was quiet, but he could hear Hannah in the bathroom. With a groan he dropped his arm over his eyes in an attempt to keep the light from painfully flooding his system. His head was pounding and the inside of his mouth felt like he had been eating the sand from the beach.
He cast his mind back over the events of the night and he could remember drinking, fooling around and then everything going to shit. He really didn’t want to think about it, but his stubborn brain led him to replay it over and over again. The more he thought about it, the more he knew he had been an ass, but that bastard making a move to kiss his girl had sent him into overdrive. Fortunately the current set of tourists were leaving that morning and once they were gone Ari could concentrate on damage control with Hannah.
At that point the door to bathroom opened and he moved his arm away from his eyes to see Hannah stepping back into the room, already dressed in a pair of red shorts and a loose fitting white t-shirt that slouched off her right shoulder giving him a flash of her blue bikini strap. Ignoring the fact that the room was spinning, Ari sat up slightly in bed to look at her for a moment before he tentatively spoke.
“You woke up early Firefly” his voice was a little croaky, fuck he needed water.  
“Couldn’t sleep” came the clipped response.
“Han…” he sighed, but she clearly wasn’t in the mood to speak to him.
“I think I’m gonna go for a walk on the beach.” She replied, her tone flat. Ari started to protest but she completely ignored him. “I need to get out of here. I’m suffocating”
“Hannah.” He tried again, and this time she took a deep, annoyed voice and snapped her head round to look at him.
“What?” she demanded.
He knew that speaking to her whilst she was still angry at him would merely result in them arguing even more so he sighed, shaking his head. “Nothing.”
“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes and walked towards the door. As she wrenched it violently open, Simon bounced off the bed and trotted after her as she left, slamming it behind her causing Ari to wince at the noise.
He lay back with a groan, cursing himself. Hannah was really pissed, and now his mind began to wander furiously. He had to make this right, he couldn’t risk losing her. Not again.
“For fucks sake Levinson, get a grip” he chastised himself. This was an argument, a stupid, ridiculous argument that’s all. Worrying about losing her was a little extreme. Wasn’t it?
He lay there, his mind arguing with itself for a few minutes before the sound of voices drifted through the lattice screens which covered the window to their hut. Knowing that he really should get up to see the guests off he kicked off the blankets and swung his legs off the side of the bed before he headed into the bathroom. After a quick shower he pulled on a clean pair of swim shorts and a light and pink hooped t-shirt before he shoved on his socks and hiking boots and headed out.
Breakfast was a quiet affair. Everyone was visibly hungover, plus the tension between Ari and Hannah was festering in the air casting a shadow over the usual well natured meal. There was no gentle touching, no longing looks, no grins, no giggles. The atmosphere was sour, and impossible to ignore.
“You ok, Han?” Sammy looked at his sister as she was picking at a croissant, not really eating much of it.
“Fine Sam.” Her response was short but not angry. Sammy frowned and looked at Ari who was drinking his coffee, deliberately avoiding anyone’s gaze.
Rachel and Jake exchanged glances as Max studied Hannah for a moment. Suddenly conscious everyone’s attention was her she pushed her plate away from her and stood up.
“Excuse me, I need to feed Simon.”
She moved away from the table, Ari following her with his eyes, his head bowing slightly once she was out of sight.
“Something wrong with Cracker?” Max asked.
“Leave it.” Sammy instructed, his eyes flicking to Ari’s before his best friend turned away. He then glanced at Rachel who gave a small sigh and stood up, ready to go and find her but Ari stopped her as he drained his coffee and issued an instruction.
“Make sure everyone is checked out, the bus will be leaving in 30.”
Rachel looked at him, blinking but she didn’t argue “Sure.”
With that he stood up and wandered outside, lighting up a cigarette. As he took a drag he leaned on the wall and out came the group of tourists that had been dancing with the girls the night before. He nodded his head to greet them, a little stiffly, offering no trace of a smile. His eyes watched the asshole that had made the move on his Firefly as he nudged one of the guys on his left, laughing as one by one they settled on the sun-loungers, a few meters away, suitcases by their side ready to depart.
Ari tuned his attention to the ocean, watching the early morning sun bouncing off the surface, and he was trying not to listen, he really was, but he just couldn’t help it when one of the guys, clear as day, asked the asshole if he had said goodbye properly to the Spanish hotty. Ari stiffened, and found himself suddenly undecided as to whether he was happy he could understand German or not.
“I wish.” The asshole laughed in his home language “She seems to have disappeared into thin air. I’m so pissed I only got to speak to her on the last day.”
“You’ve been eyeing her up since we arrived man!” one of the other guys shot back “Pity she turned you down.”
Another snorted “Yeah man, flat out no!”
Sniggers arose from the group and then one of them looked up, Ari hastily averting his gaze, but he clearly wasn’t quick enough.
“Keep it down, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her with the owner”
Asshole shrugged “He’s American, not German, can’t understand us!”
Ari fought to keep his face straight. Dick.
“You know, you’re worse than that dog that wanders around!” the guy that had told them to shut up shook his head “You cannot keep it in your pants anywhere!” “Can’t help it. But come on, guys! You seen her?”
“Yes, yes we have. She cute.”
Asshole sighed “Pity we’re leaving, reckon I could have worn her down, got her on her back with a little more time.”
Ari felt his jaw clench, he’d heard enough. With a cough he cleared his throat and then felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see Rachel looking at him.
“All set.”
He nodded and turned back to the group of boys “Bus is ready if you want to climb up.”
They all turned to look at him and the one sat nearest on the edge of a lounger nodded. “Sure man.”
Ari watched them all gather their luggage and make their way back into the hotel. He nodded as they all walked past him, Asshole taking up the rear, and as he went to pass, Ari placed his arm over the doorway, hand curling round the edge of the frame, blocking his way.
“Hey…” Asshole began to protest but Ari fixed him with an icy glare.
“Next time you wanna talk about getting my girl on her back, maybe check I can’t actually understand you…and for the record, if you weren’t leaving today you’d be shark bait.” He hissed in German, before he moved his arm as Asshole swallowed, his eyes wide with shock and horror. Ari smiled and then spoke to him in English “Have a safe trip home, dick.”
The guy scurried away as fast as he could, Ari’s eyes burning a hole in his back as he left. Once he was out of sight the anger Ari was feeling gave way to guilt as he had basically accused Hannah of leading the asshole on, even though he knew that wasn’t the case. Hannah wouldn’t dream of doing something like that. Sometimes she could be a little flirty but then so could he, it was just who they were, and to accuse her the way he had done was ridiculous. But then again he had been drunk, and even when sober he was a total mess when it came to his girl, and now she was giving him the cold shoulder.
He had to fix this.
Taking a deep breath he headed inside to look for Hannah and found her in the office with Rachel. Immediately he spotted her red puffy eyes and the concern on Rachel’s face and that made him feel like complete shit.
“Rachel, can you give us a minute?” he asked softly. Rachel looked to him before she shrugged.
“Sure”
She turned and left the office, not before giving him a filthy look and once she was gone Hannah looked at him.
“What do you want Ari?” She sniffed and Ari took a deep breath
“Sweetheart, I'm sorry”
“Sorry for what exactly?” she tipped her chin up to look at him, and Ari should have known she wasn’t going to let him off with a mere, simple and overarching apology.
“Last night. I was out of order” “Talk about an understatement! You basically called me a slut.”
“No, Hannah.” Ari began to protest “That’s not what I said.”
“Not with those exact words maybe, but you implied it Ari.”
“It’s not what I meant.” He repeated his sentiment, “Look, I’m so sorry Han. I don’t know what got into me”
“You know…” Hannah shook her head “I knew you had this jealous streak in you but..”  she took a deep breath and licked her lips .”I think I need some space”
At that she made to pass him in the doorway but Ari gently grabbed her arm. “Han, wait.”
“Let me go Ari”
Ari glanced down at his hand and released her arm “Hannah.”
“I just need to be alone.” She swallowed “Please.”
At that Ari gave a small nod and stepped to the side allowing her to leave. With a groan he ran both hand through his hair before his right fist slammed down on the desk in a fit of rage.
“Fuck!” he yelled out, his voice and the thud of his hand punching the desk echoed around the room and he ran his hand down his beard. He was really worried now that he’d completely screwed everything. Today was fast shaping up to be a complete shit storm and it wasn’t even midday yet. For a second he considered heading after her but he knew he needed to respect her request for space, so instead he headed into the bar area, grabbed a bottle of bourbon, necked a shot or 3 to sort his headache out and turned on his heels and left.
****
Later that afternoon Hannah was heading to her hut when Rachel stopped her and said that she needed Ari’s passport for some paperwork which Colonel Madibo requested when he had stopped by on his Annual Visit a month or so prior. Rachel had failed to find Ari so had instead asked Hannah if she could find it in his absence.
As usual when she needed something, Rachel couldn’t wait, so Hannah shrugged and headed back to the hut to see if she could find it and decided to try his backpack first off. As she dug around her hands curled around a leather book. Curiosity piqued she removed it to see it was a note book of sorts and she flicked open the first page, finding it simply to be a log book, written mostly in code but she recognised it as being a short hand that most agents were trained in. It appeared to be accounts of the missions they’d run but as she closed it, she noticed that there were a few photos tucked into the back cover. She gently pulled them out and smiled as she saw the first one was of Ari and Maya when Maya was a toddler. Ari’s hair and beard both much shorter. The next one was a Polaroid of the team at the front of the hotel, then there was one of her and Simon which she had never seen before, but that had been taken yesterday morning from the looks of things, and then one of her, Ari and Sammy which was of her graduation. She frowned a little, unsure why Ari kept this with him considering it was from so long ago at a time when they hadn’t even been together. She turned it over, as if expecting to find the explanation there but she didn’t find anything but Ari’s haphazard scrawl in the bottom right hand corner- “Firefly’s Graduation”
A wave of nostalgia washed over her as she thought back to that day, the gift Ari had bought her, and that being the time she realised she was hopelessly in love with him. She swallowed, before tucking the photos back where she found them. After a little more digging in the backpack she found his passport and headed back to the main hotel and into the office. She held it out to Rachel who smiled, the grin immediately slipping as she caught sight of Hannah’s face.
“You ok?”
“Yeah…have you seen Ari?”
“Not since before no.”  Rachel took the passport she was holding out from Hannah “you know I’m sure he-“
“Yeah, I know.” Hannah shook her head, not wanting to talk about it anymore “Listen, Rachel, I don’t want dinner. I’m tired so I’ll grab something later if I’m hungry.”
“Ok, sure.”
She gave Rachel another smile before she made her way back out to the beach. She stood, hands on her hips as she contemplated going to find Ari to talk but before she could she heard Max yelling at her to take care of Simon who was chewing some of the equipment he and Jake were trying to store. With a groan she went to retrieve the pain-in-the-ass dog, took him back to the hut where she led on the bed and closed her eyes, completely drained.
When she woke a few hours later it was dark. The hut was completely silent apart from Simon’s soft snores and Ari was nowhere to be seen. Standing up she grabbed a warmer top as it had gone a little chilly outside and leaving Simon snoozing on her bed she wandered out onto the dimly lit beach to find him. The resort empty, not a soul to be seen, and it was completely dark apart from the light which was pooling out of the door which led to the main reception area. She made her way to the door which was open and saw Ari sat straddling the desk, legs dangling either side. They were swinging to and fro slightly, the muscles in his strong thighs straining and stretching as he did so, cigarette in his mouth as he studied the ‘Satisfied Guests’ board on the wall. With a soft sigh he led back against the desk, closing his eyes.  
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“Ari?” Hannah spoke softly and he turned his head sharply towards her. He eyed her for a moment, clearly trying to size up her mood and she allowed her face to soften slightly and he gave a slight smile in response.
“Hey firefly.”
“It’s late.” She stepped into the room a little more.
“I know.”
“So what are you doing sat on the desk?”
“Just reviewing our satisfied guest number.” He shrugged “Which is gonna go up tomorrow.”
“Exactly, so you should come to bed, you never sleep the night after a mission so…”
“I was gonna take one of the spare rooms.” Ari admitted and Hannah rolled her eyes.
“Don’t be so dramatic.”
“I’m not being dramatic” he shrugged. “You said you wanted space…”
“I’ve had space all day.”
“I know I just…well, was waiting for you to decide when you’d had enough…”
Hannah took a deep breath, bit her lip and nodded to the board he’d been studying. “Look at the back.” She instructed.
“What?” he frowned at her sudden change of subject.
“I said, look at the back of the board, Ari.”
He gave her another puzzled look before he shuffled over and spun it round, his eyes roaming the 5 digits that had been carved into the back. “3. 19. 80.” He looked at her “That’s you birthday 2 years ago.”
“Yeah.” She nodded, “I wanted that date permanently carving into something other than my brain.”
“I’m not…”
“It was the first time you told me you loved me” she explained softly, and Ari felt his eyes widen “I waited so long to hear you say it.” She took a deep breath “Which is why I can’t understand why you think I’d ever look at anyone else.”
Ari sighed, turning the board back round, as he spun his body to face her, legs dangling off the edge of the desk. “I don’t, Han. I was just being a stupid, jealous prick.”
Hannah took a deep breath, looking at him. His eyes were down cast, his face pinched with regret. She exhaled and shook her head “No more ok? I can’t deal with your stupid fits of pathetic jealousy and possessiveness.”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” He shook his head, looking down at his hands. “I just, well, you’re not the only one who waited so long for us. Sometimes I worry that, well you’ll realise that I’m just an asshole after all and that you could do so much better.”
“I already know you’re an asshole.” She shrugged, a smile playing on her lips “But you’re my asshole. And I don’t want to do any better.”
Ari’s eyes locked onto hers and he let out a deep breath, smiling softly before he gave a jerk of his head “C’mere…”
“Ari…”
“Just get up here Firefly”
The roll of her eyes and little groan would have maybe fooled anyone else into thinking she was frustrated, but not Ari. He caught the smile on her face as she walked over towards him and hopped up onto the counter. With a grin, Ari looped both his arms around her waist and clumsily pulled her with him as he fell back, both of them laying chest to chest, his arms round her holding her close. She gave a low chuckle, shaking her head.
“Dumbass.”
“Yeah.” He agreed, reaching up and tucking her hair behind her ears with both his hands. He then cupped her face gently, before he leaned up and gave her a soft kiss.
“I love you.”  He said gently “And I really am sorry.”
“I know.”
“You know that I love you or you know that I’m sorry?”
She hesitated for a second before she smirked and arched an eyebrow “Both”
Ari chuckled and Hannah grinned and lay against Ari’s chest, snuggling into his t-shirt, the top of her head up under his chin. Neither of them said anything for a little while, just lay there basking in one another’s warmth, the argument forgotten until eventually Hannah felt her eyes growing heavy.
“Ari.”
“Yeah”
“Seriously, we need to go to bed.”
“Yeah…” he hummed back, his hands stroking up her neck.
“I mean it.”
“Mmhmmm.”
“Ari!” she said exasperatedly and he gave a low groan.
“Okay, okay…”
With what felt like a Herculean effort Hannah pushed herself up and hopped down from the counter, Ari doing the same, his boot clad feet echoing around the empty room as the soles slapped on the tiles. He stretched his arms, causing his t-shirt to ride up a little at the bottom as he ran both hands through his hair. Silently, he held out his hand and Hannah slipped hers into it, and together they headed out of the door pausing only to turn off the lights and make sure the main doors were locked.
**** The next morning was hectic, for two main reasons. A new batch of guests had arrived and in between that they were doing the preps for the mission later that evening. Rachel and Hannah were busy with the guests whilst Max, Jake and Ari were busy with the equipment. Radios needed to be tested, the trucks needed to be checked over to ensure there would be no mechanical issues and Sammy was busy making sure the medical supplies were stocked and packed.
Once that was gone, Ari took himself off for a run, in an attempt to burn off some of the usual nervous energy he had the day of a mission. He was out for a good hour, and as he rounded the edge of the cove onto the last few hundred yard stretch of beach up to the resort he spotted a few new guests were sat out in the sun reading and chatting. He nodded to them as he rounded up the small path off the main shore line, coming to an abrupt halt as Simon ran up to him from goodness knows where, almost tripping him over.
“Hey bud…” Ari panted a little, removing his headphones and clicking off his walkman “Where’s mom?”
“Here.”
Ari spun round to see Hannah stood there in a pair of shorts and a white tank top, the strings of her bikini visible round her neck, her hair damp.
“Hey sweetheart.” He smiled, and she took a moment to look him up and down, noticing the sweat dripping from his forehead and his damp t-shirt that was sticking to his torso. “Pervert.”
She shrugged and grinned before she spoke again, her cover accent thick on her tongue. “Good run?”
He nodded as he continued his deep breathing looking round “Not as much fun as this morning’s exercise though.” He flashed her a cheeky wink as she chuckled and took the soft kiss he offered. “How’ bout you? Good dive?”
She nodded “Still waiting for that elusive Hammer-Head sighting. You know, I’m beginning to think Irvine made it up.”
With a chuckle Ari gently looped an arm round her, pulling her to him as they headed into the main room of the resort, Hannah shoving against him, protesting at the fact he was basically wiping his sweat all over her but their teasing and joking died down as Rachel immediately accosted them, her German accent flawless as always.
“There you are. I was just talking about you with our new guests.”
Ari looked up to see 3 people in chairs in the reception area, and as the man in front of him stood and turned he saw it was Walton Bowen, the guy from the CIA that he had last seen in Khartoum Airport.
“Mr. Thomas, nice to see you again.”
“Now this is a surprise.” Ari smiled, shaking the hand Bowen offered before his hands dropped to his hips, his breathing still recovering from his run.
“Well, I'm sure it is. You're not an easy man to find. I think I saw you nearly two years ago. You were an anthropologist back then.” Bowen eyed Ari shrewdly taking a drag from his baby cigar.
“Right, well...” Ari smiled again, “Didn't pay the bills.” He offered as means of an explanation for the huge change in career direction.
“Yeah…” Bowen looked at him again, his eyes then flicking to Hannah.
“Sorry, where are my manners.” Ari apologised, “Rosa, this is Mr Walton Bowen. Works for the US Embassy?” he made it a question, even though he knew full well all about Bowen’s actual background having been debriefed back in ‘79 following his arrest.
“Of a fashion” Mr Bowen smiled. “Cultural attaché”
“Right.” Ari nodded “Well, Mr Bowen, this is Rosa Garcia, my partner and head of guest relations.”
“It’s a pleasure.” Hannah smiled, shaking Bowen’s hand.  
“Likewise.” Bowen smiled, releasing her hand.
“And you’ve already met my general manager, Angela.” Ari concluded and both Bowen and Rachel nodded in agreement before she spoke.
“I was just about to give Aziz the dinner order, will you be staying?
Bowen shook his head “That’s very kind but, no thank you. We’ll need to get back.”
“Ok, well in that case can I grab you anything for now?” she asked.
“I could go for something.” Ari looked at her, knowing full well the mission meant he would miss dinner and they usually ate a little earlier. Rachel understood perfectly and gave him a nod, turning to go.
“I’ll help.” Hannah turned to Ari who nodded and dropped a kiss to her temple before she hurried out after Rachel. He turned back to Bowen who was simply looking at him, his eyebrow raised a little.
“She a guest who never left or…”
“It’s a long story.” Ari smiled.
“I’m sure it is Mr Thomas.”
Ari nodded and then gestured towards the dining room, indicating one of the tables. “Shall we?”
Bowen turned to the two people who were with him and with a jerk of his head they moved outside. Ari watched them go before he nodded and the two men made their way over and settled at the large table the team usually ate round. Ari grabbed them both a bottle of water from the fridge at the far side of the room and settled in a chair, his elbow leaning on the back of it, as relaxed as he could make himself. They made small talk until Hannah and Rachel, or Rosa and Angela even, having had Aziz fix some crudités and hummus brought them out and dropped them onto the table before they too moved outside to take some to the two other unannounced guests. As Ari watched Hannah then walked back past them into the kitchen, and he returned his attention to Bowen, trying to appear interested, all the time simply waiting to find out what the man had actually turned up for. “Well... the hawks are demanding stricter Sharia law. Nimeiry is increasingly paranoid.” Bowen spoke, dipping a carrot into the hummus. “If you ask me, this entire country is a fucking tinder box.”
“Really? We don't really feel that out here.”
“No?”
“No.”
At that they both looked up as Hannah walked back into the room with a jug of iced tea and placed it in the middle of the table.
“Thanks honey.” Ari smiled at her as he reached for it “You wanna join us?” He paused and glanced at Bowen who gestured with his hand to say he didn’t mind so he poured 3 glasses and Hannah sat down at the seat next to him. Ari sat back in his chair, his arm casually draping over the high back of hers, her hand dropping to his thigh, fingers curling around the curve of the muscle, gently squeezing. He was tense, she could feel it. She softly rubbed his skin and his hand moved slightly in response, the pads of his fingers began tracing random shapes on the top of her arm.
“State's sent cargo planes for us, ready to evac in the event things take a turn for the worse. Oh. -And this refugee crisis, it's... it's really not helping.” Bowen shook his head as he looked at Ari, then Hanna, who met him with a blank look.
“Refugee crisis?” Hannah frowned.
“Yeah, you have entire refugee neighbourhoods just disappearing.” Bowen gestured with his hands “Into thin air.” “And that’s bad?” Hannah’s voice was puzzled. “Refugees are normally viewed as a burden, I’m not following.”
Clever girl… Ari looked down at the table, scratching his head
“The UN offers a stipend to the Sudanese for every refugee they house, so when people start to disappear that's just...  bad for business.” Bowen finished matter of factly.
At his blasé tone, Hannah felt herself growing a little angry at the way he was talking about real life people. Her people more specifically, as if they were nothing but commodities to be traded.
“Well…” Ari cut in, “The only crisis we face is whether or not we catch fresh lobster.” The three of them laughed as Ari shook his head. “Just kidding.”
“Well, I just got back from Gedaref, where the Mukhabarat had executed another 30 people.” Walton Bowen deadpanned and instantly the mood around the table changed. Cold washed over Hannah and besides her Ari shifted ever so slightly in his seat, the smile slipping from his face. “This is quite serious.2
Ari inhaled deeply and raised his eyebrows, he was done. They had a mission to prep for, and now more than ever he had to make sure that it was a success especially as his prediction seemed to be coming true- the net was closing in on them now and who knows how long they had. “I'd like to stay and chat, but I gotta get back to work.” He spoke, looking at Bowen.
“Yes, we have dinner to do and some night diving to prepare.” Hannah added.
“Sure. Okay.” Bowen nodded as the two of them stood up “Enjoy the...” he waved at the food on the table with his other hand as they both walked towards the exit, but Walton said something else that stopped them both in their tracks.
“Kabede Bimro, right?”
Ari glanced at Hannah, the pair of them hastily covering their shock with what they hoped looked like a confused glance and Ari shot a look at Bowen “Excuse me?”
“Hmm? Oh I just think it's such a funny name. Kabede.” The man shrugged.
“Yeah…” Ari made a face as if he found the whole thing baffling, before he turned back, his hand dropping to Hannah’s back but before they could move Bowen spoke again.
“And what about Ethan Navon…”
Hannah gave a little start. It was slight, an almost imperceptible slip, but a slip none the less. She swallowed, recovering, and turned to look at Ari, frowning.
“Guy, do you know what he’s talking about?” she asked.
Ari shook his head “Not a clue Firefly” he used her nickname in the hope it would calm her, and also to play the whole situation as naturally as he could. He looked at Bowen “I really have no idea who these people you’re talking about are, should I?”
“You tell me”
“I wish I could.” Ari gave a chuckle, shaking his head again, and giving Bowen a look that he hoped made the man believe that Ari thought he was crazy.
“You know, Mr Bowen…” Hannah spoke again “It’s getting late and it can get dark out there pretty quickly. If you’d like a room for the night we can fix it.”
“Not necessary, but I wouldn’t mind a look round.” Bowen shrugged “Maybe I’ll come stay sometime in the future, that is if I’m still in the Country, of course.”
“Go ahead” Ari nodded “Just shout if you need us.”
At that the pair of them made their way as calmly as possible from the dining room and into the kitchen, where the rest of the team was congregated. “What's the CIA doing here?” Sammy asked, “What did he want?”
“I don't know.” Ari ran his hand over his beard.
“He mentioned Dad, Sammy. Hannah looked at him.”
“I heard” Sammy nodded.
“I think he was trying to warn us.” Hannah shrugged.
“Fuck! He knows about Kabede.” Jake slapped his palm on the side behind him and Ari stood up tall, looking through the doorway at Bowen before he turned back.
“We gotta go.”
“No, this is just so fucking stupid.” Sammy shook his head “Tell Kabede it's too dangerous. We'll pick it up in two weeks when we have a chance to assess the threat.”
“We have 200 people—“ Ari began to protest but he was cut off by Sammy
“Yeah, and we'll have 200 people less if we fuck it up.” He hissed.
“For fuck's sake, Sammy, will you just trust me for once?”
“Well, if we're doing this, we need to leave now.” Hannah spoke, looking around “So what's it gonna be?”
Max, who hadn’t spoken a word since Ari and Hannah had joined them, swallowed the sandwich he had been eating and wiped his hands on his shorts “We go.”
“That simple?” Sammy looked at him and Max turned to Sammy, fixing him with a stare.
“Yeah, that simple.”
***** Chapter 13
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aces-to-apples · 4 years
Text
Mandalorian Philosophies
I’m not really a huge meta person, mostly because I can never quite connect and lay out my thought processes in a clear and relatively concise manner, but something finally hit me today. I don’t have anything new or interesting to say about the history of Mandalore and its factions, particularly the New Mandalorians, that hasn’t been said by plenty of others, namely Dr. Izzy O. Coffee (@izzyovercoffee) and @inqorporeal.
But I’ve opened up a new post multiple times over the past couple years to try to lay out my thoughts on the subject, with little effect, so I’ve had ample time to chew it over. And, as I said, I had something of a revelation.
Collectivism vs. Individualism
Not really groundbreaking, I’ll admit, but until now I’ve always tried to lay out my problems with the New Mandalorian regime by itself. Today, I was making pasta and making fun of the Death Watch essentially being a cult in my head, when I did something that I haven’t done or personally seen done before and directly compared the Death Watch, True Mandalorians, and New Mandalorians side by side.
Specifically in that order.
Because until literally an hour ago, if I thought about them in relation to each other, it always looked something like this:
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Three very different variants of the central idea of being Mandalorian.
Whereas, an hour ago, I realized that I think it’s more something like this:
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On the left: individualism. On the right: collectivism. In the center: the True Mandalorians balancing the community with the individual. (The decision of who’s on left and right was arbitrary, I hasten to add after typing that out. Anyway.)
Collectivism
My overarching issue with the New Mandalorians has always been that’s it is a totalitarian regime that committed genocide ignores consent of the individual in favor of order for the collective. Violence caused disorder and so it was banned wholesale, ignoring that the original culture of Mandalore and its people is a warrior culture. Collectivism is taken so far that consent of the individual is disregarded and ignored. Those who didn’t agree with the new way were banished from the collective and any sense of individuality and dissent suppressed.
Individualism
Death Watch, as a reactionary group, takes the opposite direction: the good of the community is thrown out in favor of the desires of the individual. Anyone who stands in the way of their specific way of life, i.e. anyone who isn’t also Death Watch, is labeled an enemy and therefore an acceptable casualty on their path to restore what they see as their rightful original heritage. Which is also incorrect and, like I said, reactionary, and I hate Pre Viszla so much I’m glad Maul killed him he’s such a dick and Death Watch is a freaking cult I mean it’s literally called Death Watch ARGH! Individualism is taken so far that the good of the community is completely disregarded. Those who don’t agree to join the cult are considered traitors to the cause, taken out back, and summarily shot.
Some Semblance of Balance, Goddamn
The True Mandalorians, by contrast to both of these factions, are (hilariously enough) the least extremist of these three philosophies. While they don’t seem terribly impressed with non-Mandalorians (see @kaasknot’s hilarious breakdown on the two demonyms of Mando’a and how Mandos apparently see outsiders as two groups: “children of [place/people]” and “untrustworthy bastards of [place/people]” which I will never not find funny), they also manage to coexist reasonably well with the rest of the galaxy except for the people who keep trying to erase their heritage (New Mandalorians), the people who keep trying to warp it into something it’s not (Death Watch), and the people who want to kill them for being the biggest and most dangerous badasses in the galaxy I guess (Sith and also kind of Jedi). Family, clan, and community overall are central to their beliefs but they also foster a fierce sense of honor, independence, and self-reliance within individuals. They accept and adopt outsiders into their collective at the drop of a hat, have very little rigidity wrt their ways of life and personal codes, and are reasonably adaptive when faced with adversity. The good of the community and the consent of the individual are both valued and reasonably well-respected.
I don’t really have a conclusion to this (when do I ever?), and I’m not saying that the True Mandalorians were perfect because man that is a fraught thing to say about anything, particularly anything in Star Wars which is entirely made up of streaks of grey, but I figured I may as well share my thoughts now that they apparently have decided to stand still long enough for me to take a snapshot of them. Bah-dah. Anyway, fuck the Death Watch and the New Mandalorians both, they’re both on some extremist bullshit, Apples out.
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confusedinfj · 4 years
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I know you're a big fan of le sexy ENTPs, but do you have any opinions towards INTPs and INFJs? I think I managed to find one and he's super awesome, but I'm sort of wondering if we are both too wishy washy on who we are. Like I definitely think there is some compatibility, but I'm not quite sure what our issues would be so I guess that's what interests me the most is that we're similar but also, fundamentally still feeler vs. thinker.
The answer to your question - infj - intp:
I only know a few intps, but I like them a lot!
I think an infj/intp couple would be happy together, but they'd probably struggle socially? I can be outgoing, and I know intps can be too, but I can imagine it would be a much quiter match than entp/infj or intp/enfj which are even better.
But of course, there are heaps more factors than mbti. I feel obligated to add that 😂
I think this couple's biggest problem would just be intraversion. Socially, we both like clinging to Extraverts. They might prefer to stay home and never go out, and they might not push each other to really achieve things in the outside world. So as long as the pair made a point of that, I don't think they'd have too much trouble. Low Fe is basically Fe on steroids anyway, cos it's not as well developed and like a wild card. So I think an intp would share their hurt feelings and care about any the infj brought up. I wouldn't expect their main problem to be a t/f problem.
Random additional thoughts:
Personally, I love all the NTs, and it'd basically come down to life experiences and character as to which I prefer 🙃 We're all intuitives, and are often called wishy washy and idealistic. However, I don't think those are fair descriptions. Infjs definitely aren't wishy washy - that'd be badly developed infps taking our name 😂. I prefer to call the N types romantic and passionate, which Sensors can mistake as immature, cos it's not their default mode. But as an intuitive, you have to rely on your N functions and be that way 😊
So here I go on about what main problems infjs would have in a relationship with the other NTs.
I'm just assuming the two are well developed and mature, cos otherwise there's a whole bunch of problems not type specific I'm not mentioning 😂
Infj - Entj:
This one mainly stems from the Fe/Fi difference. When entjs go into low Fi the infj can be very scared and hurt. We need to learn that Fi doesn't work like Fe, and if an entj is being quiet they're trying not to snap at you cos they're grumpy/sad/whatever, NOT cos they're upset with you and not sure how to say it. Entjs will tell you if they have a problem. In turn, entjs need to learn that an infj hiding isn't processing their emotions, they're hurt. The two also have a lot of communication issues, which they can get over if they make a point of saying 'that sounds hurtful. Did you really mean it that way?' and being open. This is a great match that the two would likely figure out quickly, because they have a great Ni bond thing going on. Their biggest problem is that infjs are a bit scared of Fi and entjs can be annoyed by Fe insecurity 😊
Infj - Intj:
The main problem here would be burn out. The fe/Fi problem is less pronounced. But since they both lead with Ni, they can are both ALWAYS ON. This couple would need to learn how and when to relax together, and be clear about their needs to the other party. What I'm thinking about specifically is how intjs love to discuss and debate...so do infjs, but they also don't have Te. Also, when intjs go into low Fi they get insecure and avoid infjs, so they'd have to be clear on that too 😂 Since both types lead with Ni, they both have a spiritual view of relationships, so if they feel that connection it'd definitely work. They could be a good pair, because while infjs want to know and feel people, intjs want to understand... Other stuff that tires me out and I can't keep track of for very long 🙃 the two of them would balance each other out well, challenge each other's opinions, and mostly end up agreeing in the end 😂.
Infj - Entp:
Assuming the two are well developed etc, I think this pair is basically each other in reverse. They compliment each other well, and think and feel the same way. They have similar insecurities, but go through them at different stages of life. I know some people say the i/e difference would be a problem, but I disagree. Ne isn't a people function, and Fe is, so it evens out pretty well. And obviously entps might debate more or be chattier, but their Fe can adapt if an infj is hurt, and infjs can know their entp well enough to know it wasn't an insult. Basically, they can learn communication pretty easily, and the insecurity goes both ways anyway. And THAT'S what I think their biggest problem would be: tertiary Fe/Ti problems. Not because the infj gets over sensitive like I've sometimes read, but because of the opposite. Infjs are deeply romantic, yes, but in a... Spiritual way? They're not wordy or showy, and will likely say sweet things clinically by accident. If an entp gets into low Fe insecurity they can mistake it for coldness. They can underestimate how much the infj really loves them. As for the infj, they can be hurt or angry when the entp misjudges them as get insecure. They could also fall into Fe insecurity when flighty ne seems to lose interest in them or low Fe flirts with others for fun. So as long as the two take time to talk about their feelings (which I KNOW entps secretly like), I think this is a great match 😊 While infjs might be the more feeling type, entps are the more emotional type (not over emotional, nobody get offended), so I think they're well balanced 😊
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tsukikoayanosuke · 3 years
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7, 8, 9, 10, 13, 14, 16, 27, 35 & 39
[It’s a lot again 😅 hope you don’t mind :D]
I might be going way too far with these answers, so please bear with me ^^’
Sorry for the long rambles but these are my answers!
7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
Oof. This is hard. There’s actually a lot of paragraphs that I like throughout the writing process. I can re-read and just pick which is my favorite, it’ll be different every time.
But, I think the thing currently going on with TW:OPT can be summed up in this Once Upon a Time… (I was being dumb and I thought prose is just poetry without rhyme)
So, this drabble is written on the run. There’s not really deep thought and I can’t even remember why I wrote it in the first place. From the date I posted it on Tumblr it was in the middle of Octavinelle Arc.
But, in this small crappy prose-poetry, it has one of the themes in TW:OPT: happy vs sad ending. This is something that I want to build since in the early stage. The theme of TW:OPT is second chances for the reincarnated villains, giving them a happy ending, something way better than the original ones.
So, if you look for example the two lines about the Queen of Heart:  
The Queen of Heart was forgotten by Alice like it was just a bad dream
The Queen of Heart will always be remembered by Alice as his dear friend and the greatest queen
The first line is what happens to the original Disney Alice’s Queen of Hearts, while the second line is what happens to Riddle, the current reincarnation of the Queen of Hearts. It’s a good change for Riddle’s life.
However, like everything, there has to be something to balance it. 
After all, good endings cannot exist without bad endings.
Can the good guys really live with the bad guys in harmony? After all, all Disney movie always has “good wins, evil lose” theme. If the “evil side” wins, wouldn’t that mean the “good side” loses? Is that even a good thing or even possible?
After all, the One-Eyed Captain found his happy ending to sail away once again. What will happen to him in his next life?
This line becomes the question. What will happen to the already-set happy endings? Would they just disappear to change into bad endings to keep the balance?
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8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
I’m debating between many dialogues, but I think the one piece I’m most proud of is in Chapter 97. I'm cutting a lot of the narration and just focus on the dialogues because it becomes too long.
Riddle: What happens that day? The day when everything went downhill. Azul: Didn't anyone tell you already? Riddle: I want to hear it from your or Jonah's mouth. What happened that you must curse him? Azul: Pretty simple, really. I told him not to come here that day, and he did To make it worse, that boy was stupid enough to go back against our agreement. Riddle: Just that? Azul: Oh, please, dear Crimson Ruler. I don't want to hear that from you. Have you forgotten about your reign before? Riddle: I know what I did was tyrannical, but I want to be better. Azul: Because of the captain told you too? Riddle: No. This is my choice to change. Just like it was your choice to curse him. He trusts you, you know? He knows that you wouldn't go back against your own words, which was why he was willing to sign another contract with you. Azul: If he trusts me that much, why is he against me? If he trusts me, why did he choose to save his stupid friends than agreeing with me? Tell me, Riddle Rosehearts...Why does he choose you instead of me?
We all know what happened during Octavinelle Arc and I don't deny that this sounds cheesy or slightly ooc. And let me just say this, there's no intention of this become a love triangle or whatsoever.
There are two things I want to highlight in this exchange: Riddle's growth and Azul's decline.
Riddle, after everything happened in Heartslabyul and Savanclaw arc, finally putting his foot down on where he wants to stand. He wants to be a better person, more than just the feared Crimson Tyrant. That's why he's helping them. Not because the boys are breaking the rules, not because someone tells him to, but Riddle is willing to risk it all, even his unique magic (as we see at the end of this chapter and the next) to save his friends. Again, this might sound ooc and I apologize, but from my perspective, this is a logical step of development for Riddle.
Meanwhile, Azul is showing more and more decline from this until the end of Octavinelle Arc even Scarabia Arc. For Azul who knows how easy people can leave and mock when you have nothing, seeing Jonah leave him and siding with the anemones is basically a betrayal. He can't think rationally when it comes to the betrayal and we see how brash he can be with anything related to Jonah throughout the arc where all of their interaction nearly kills Jonah.
If Riddle-Jonah is a coming-of-age story, Azul-Jonah is a broken friendship story.
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9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?
This is a hard one to write. You might think I’ll just answer with TW:OPT, but honestly, all multi chapters fanfic has their own difficulties, so I can’t choose which is the hardest.
For Twisted-Wonderland: Our Precious Treasure, where I do treat this as a novel-writing practice, keeping the consistency with the theme, plot points, and characterization.
For Private Tutor, Angel of Death, Philza Minecraft, actually coming up with new ideas is hard because I don’t based this on anything, and just write anything once a week. In addition that I’m still new in Dream SMP fandom so characterization won’t be the strongest thing.
For both TWST MC Hybrid AU and Magical Girl AU, giving the massive cast equal spotlight and actually not getting lost is quite a challenge. Both AU has seven main characters and I need to give them the same amount to screen time.
And don’t get me started with those smut. I won’t be talking about it because I’m keeping it family friendly. Those has their own problems XD
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10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?
As I said, every fic has their own problems, even one shot. So, I’m looking through my works and trying to figure out which fic I wrote the fastest but had the most fun.
I think I’ll go with A Wish for a Proposal because the comfort in this fic with Ace going heads over heels for Deuce and being doki-doki all the time. And the kiss under a shooting star, AH! Poetic cinema~
I do enjoy when I wrote how Ace thought keeping a toy ring as childish but he ended up using it to confess to Deuce and thinking that it’s not as childish as he thought.
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13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?
There are good writing advice that I had head, one of them came from On Writing: Great Character Descriptions! by Hello Future Me. He has so many good advices in writing and I highly recommend him.
He said that “when describing characters it’s good to focus on their movements that can tell the readers of who the characters are”. As someone who has many troubles in writing physical description, this is actually a great alternative, especially when you want to go thought the “show don’t tell”.
After watching the video I tried to write something. I ended up writing Jonah’s father, Benjamin, in Chapter 137
The owner of the inn was an old man who, coincidentally, also shared the 'Argentum' surname. Benjamin Argentum was a man with slouched back from the burden of the world, white strands on his reddish-brown hair and tired, but kind, black eyes. He walked slowly with his walking stick, claiming that his knees were never that strong since a cart accident during his younger days. The way he speaks was gentle like everyone's favorite uncle/grandfather, along with the delicious appetizer that he had prepared a few minutes ago on the reception table. The spices he used reminiscent of the spices Jonah used in his Ramshackle Kitchen. There was no way all of these were coincidences. Crowley wouldn't doubt if Jonah Argentum ever grew old, he would be looking exactly like the warm innkeeper.
I want to highlight how Benjamin is a kind old man ("He walked slowly with his walking stick, claiming that his knees were never that strong since a cart accident during his younger days”, ”The way he speaks was gentle like everyone's favorite uncle/grandfather”) but has his own problems (”a man with slouched back from the burden of the world”), and very similar to Jonah (”The owner of the inn was an old man who, coincidentally, also shared the 'Argentum' surname”, ”The spices he used reminiscent of the spices Jonah used in his Ramshackle Kitchen”, “Crowley wouldn't doubt if Jonah Argentum ever grew old, he would be looking exactly like the warm innkeeper.”)
It’s not the best descriptions, because most of the example used highlight only one most recognizable feature while my description highlight nearly everything. I still need some practice.
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14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?
“Write what’s mainstream”.
Here’s my problem with it: sometimes anything that’s mainstream is not my thing. I like to challenge what we are given and give it a spin. 
I mentioned before that growing up with Indonesian TV Series that only centers around love, riches, and cheating, I grew tired of it. That was why I once tried to make a script for a group of friends creating a classical music band and mental problems. 
I’m not the first one to make an adaptation of TWST, but I think I’m one of the first, at least in AO3, that make an adaptation with Male MC. Among the Female MC or Female Readers story with a hint (or too much) of Romance, I want to give something for the small group who wants Male MC or something more platonic to read.
I always want to push slightly further, trying something that I haven’t seen at first glance, giving varieties. I will admit that would always doubt whether me writing something different is even worth it or not. But when I saw that yes, this is worth it, I gain more confidence and become bolder in my twist.
Going against the mainstream is risky, but we'll see whether it's worth it or not.
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16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?
Oh no... Does it have to be a romantic pairing?
Okay. I don't really have an OTP. I mean, I like ROnah and JonAzul, but I don't think I can't live with writing only about them.
So, romantically, I don’t know. But, this doesn’t help with platonically either because I find enjoyment in writing all relationship. Just pushing the limit of my writing, you know?
So, I don’t think I can answer this because I’m a coward XD
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27. How do you feel about collaborations?
A mixed bag.
So currently I'm in at least 2 collab projects: TWST MC Hybrid AU and Arisu in Alternate Wonderland. In the former, I'm the group leader, while in the latter, I'm just a writer.
Both sidea are different experiences. With AiAW, it's definitely lighter because this is basically retelling TWST but with seven Yuus. However because of this freedom and the possibilities of anything, I cannot predict whether my oc action will affects in the future or how they would interact with other ocs in the project.
With Hybrid AU, since this is a fantasy au, anything can happen. Plus as the main writer, I can see and plan clearly which event will be important and setting the characters' arc. It's definitely harder to organize because of the various idea that we want to write.
So, yeah. Collaboration can be two things for me: a scripted roleplay or a freestyle roleplay
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35. Would you ever kill off a canon character?
*looking at draft for TW:OPT Book 2*
Maybe...?
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39. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?
I remember when I was a kid, I wrote a fanfiction where it only features OCs, and someone gave a review, ranting about the lack of canon characters. I, of course, sulked a bit but then just keep writing.
However, what I usually do when it comes to comments is take them into considerations. During Scarabia Arc I got a comment that the Jonah-Azul therapy moment is kinda weak, and rereading it, I can see that. Which was why the next part of the therapy Arc I tried to connect them further. So compare the JonAzul scene in the last part of Chapter 124 with the first part of Chapter 126. At least for me, I prefer the latter because there's more intimacy.
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