#i want to be able to have a normal conversation and interact with people normally w/o feeling like i should apologise for existing
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icewindandboringhorror · 8 months ago
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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riisume · 10 months ago
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I feel a little bad that I'm pretty cold to people on DA or anywhere who give me bad vibes but like... After all the bad experiences I've had with people, especially on DA, I have a hard time feeling completely bad about protecting myself and keeping most people at arm's length...
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toxifoxx · 1 year ago
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#sorry to every recent follower who's seen my nonsense thus far#anyways this time its going in the tags so. vent warning#mfw i will never fit in with any circle im in and dont match their energy in the right way#i like what they like but not in the right way#dont communicate in the right way. dont interact in the right way#dont enjoy certain things they all seem to like#incapable of doing anything right. incapable of connecting to anybody. one such reason why i need to be taken out back and shot#end my pitiful life now because i will never fucking be able to interact with other people normally#i am convinced there is nothing that can be done about it#i need to be put out of my misery#i cant reach out cant talk to them cant ask to be included. ill annoy them. then i wont have anyone in my circle at all.#sure i might seem fun but im only good in small doses. no one would want to be around me too long.#i get boring. i get annoying. my jokes all fall flat#im only good when im being as likeable and funny and entertaining as i can be#i dont belong in any conversation. if i talk im just an interruption. if i talk about what im up to then im just being annoying#annoying people get blocked right? its only a matter of time till they figure out you're one of those.#im not fun to be around its just that simple. thats why no one wants to talk to me. no one seeks me out. not that i blame them#why would they i havent given anyone a reason to#i might as well not be here. its just like school was. i dont exist to anybody. there is plexiglass between me and the world#ok i need to stop now#its my fault anyways
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katkitpaddywick · 1 year ago
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(trying out a tumblr vent, don't mind me)
#when will i stop getting fucking COLD FLUSHES of anxiety in flirty interactions#i know it's related to anxiety about having to set boundaries that i don't fully know myself#and the fear of having to communicate when they've changed in ways i don't think the other person will “like”#the stresses of being asexual in the dating scene#i'm talking to a guy at the moment and i'm attracted to him#but he just made a jokey comment about making out which is a totally normal flirty thing to say#but immediately my body has flooded the adrenaline (not in the good way) like i'm being hunted for sport#and i KNOW if i communicate to him that i don't know if i want that he'll probably understand#and i KNOW that most people won't push deliberately when you say you want to take things slow#but there's just such a strong perceived pressure that it takes almost nothing from the other person for that fear to bubble up#i hate hard conversations and i hate not being able to go with the flow on things#and being “difficult”#and i don't know anyone else i can talk to who feels this way for ideas on how to work around it#i genuinely think this is the biggest thing holding me back#after my first kiss i got so anxious and wrapped up in my head because i didn't like it that much; that ALL of my feelings towards that#person went sour and i lost all attraction to them#literally how do you work around THAT#it feels like everyone around me has the physical/sexual attraction to fall back on when they're unsure#but i don't have that#literally what do you even DOOOO with this hhHGHGHGHGUHURGHUGUGHGH
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tawnysoup · 17 days ago
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Deltarune theory that I need people to think about for a moment.
Monsters don't bleed.
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You can probably figure out where this is going yourself, but if you want to hear my thoughts and evidence, it's all going under the cut.
Monsters don't bleed. We're reminded of this at the start of and throughout Chapter 4, through interaction with the bunny kid when you knock their door, and the funeral book about monsters turning into dust.
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Conversely Susie has expressed a lack of understanding about this concept, implying she's bled before and doesn't find it weird. Implying she's used to a culture where blood is normal...
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...but not dust? She didn't seem to put the pieces together that the dust in the 'snowglobe' (horrific implications btw) could be Gerson's body until Kris pointed it out to her. After which point she reacted with horror, as if she hadn't expected it, or didn't know that's how it worked?
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Let's think about Susie for a moment. What do we know about Susie, now?
We know she bleeds. They made a point of showing it even though Kris bleeds in the same chapter and it's not visibly shown. We know she's considered a brute, more monsterish than those around her. She lays into this fact, playing it up. We know she had a rocky childhood. She's moved houses multiple times in the past. She's given up on trying to make friends.
She doesn't have a tail (or at least, her tail is a nub), and she feels embarrassed about that fact. When equiped with the jevil's tail, she'll say "figured I'd grow one eventually."
Kris used to wear a horn headband in the hopes they'd grow horns like their family, eventually. When Susie sees a picture of them with the headband, she quietens uncomfortably once she realises why.
Susie HATED Kris's guts, even before chapter 1. (From the spamton sweepstakes:)
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Whatever they said made her back off and leave. I think she saw herself in them. The outcast. The odd one out in a town full of something else. Something that can't be understood. Is it any wonder she changed her tune when she found out Kris was not her enemy, but understood her? That Kris would leap to defend her, instead? That she thought, surely, this kid hates me for what I am just as much as I hate them for what they are? They don't hate me? They don't think I'm disgusting, a freak of nature, better off abandoned?
Why have we never seen her parents?
Why is it that, when we look away from Kris, we can only imagine "what Susie is up to"? Why no one else? Why can we see her, but not exert enough control to impact what she does? Why is our soul able to fight on her behalf without Kris's involvement? Why does she seem to exert control over the story even when it's clearly trying to be bent in favour of the player's decisions?
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Monsters don't bleed.
Susie is a hybrid.
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spookytimecollective · 1 year ago
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im tired of trauma thank you
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chrome-barkz-aac · 11 months ago
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i made this instagram post !!! there isn't as big of a community of AAC users on instagram so I thought I would share this on my instagram (@cytochromesea).
EDIT: i got an ask that states that not everyone knows what AAC is which is an oversight on my part, it stands for alternative and augmentative communication!
Image ID:
A light blue background with a rainbow and a cloud and some stars. There is a blue border collie with wings holding an aac tablet that says I love you! Text reads: AAC etiquette. Do’s, Don’ts, and other stuff. By cytochrome sea.
The same background appears in every following slide. Text reads:
AAC is my voice! It is not a toy or accessory
Don’t touch my AAC without my permission
Don’t take my AAC away from me, for any reason (joke, punishment, etc)
Don’t press buttons randomly or flip through my communication cards without permission
How would you like it if I randomly poked you on the mouth and throat (or on your hands if you sign)? It would be unpleasant, so don’t do that to me
Some AAC users can speak sometimes. It is not your business why someone can or cannot talk
Don’t ask questions about why an AAC user cannot speak. 
Do let us communicate however is best for us in that moment
Don’t ask us if or when we will be able to speak verbally. It’s not your business 
Do not value verbal speech more highly than AAC. Any communication is good communication
Some of us never talk, either, and that’s ok! Those of us who can talk sometimes are not better than those of us who can’t. None of us owe you an explanation for our use of AAC.
Don’t look at my screen until I show you. It feels really invasive!
It feels like when someone is looking at your phone screen over your shoulder, so please don’t do this
This applies to low tech AAC as well, don’t look at someone’s cards or letter board until they show you
You have the dignity of forming your thoughts in your head before you say them, whereas my thoughts are all on display. Please afford me the same dignity that you get automatically.
Don’t shame someone for not being able to speak verbally. It makes us feel horrible
We are real people with thoughts and feelings. Please treat us with kindness. 
We are trying our best
Don’t shame someone if their device mispronounces a word. It’s quite literally out of our control.
Other Don’ts. Don’t
Don't Treat an AAC user as childish or stupid for not being able to speak. Our ability to speak does not define our worth
Don't Show frustration at the way someone communicates
Don't Make comments about how fast or slow we communicate
Also don’t…
don't Act surprised when we swear or talk about adult topics like sex, drugs, or violence. We are not pure uwu precious smol beans, we are normal fucking people
don't Assume what is “wrong” with us. There are about a hundred reasons for someone to use AAC and you probably aren’t the expert in any of them.
“OK, so what CAN i do?” im glad you asked! When interacting with an AAC user, DO…
Ask us how we prefer to communicate and support us as you are able
Assume that we are competent
Talk to us with the same respect, tone and vocabulary that you would for any one else
Give us money (this one is a joke)
Understand that AAC grammar isn’t perfect and we are doing our best
Is it rude if…
I can’t understand your device? Not rude! Misunderstandings happen all the time in any conversation, just be patient as you would normally. 
I want to complement your AAC? Not rude!
I ask to see your AAC and understand how it works? This isn’t rude if you are already talking about AAC, but don’t ask random strangers this. They don’t owe you an AAC tour. 
Thank you for listening! This post is for the community! If you are an AAC user, let me know if I missed something in the comments and I will pin it! I hope you are filled with peace and love and I hope something good happens to you today! End ID. 
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jojikawa · 1 year ago
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Beauty and the Beast
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An event where you are a woman in the 50s trying to turn the head of your neighbor, Francis Mosses when you are stalked and pursued by his evil counterpart.
Art by ilameys
Zettai Zetsumei • Co shu Nie
Word Count: 5.7k
⚠️: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT ♥ Manhandling, Slight body horror descriptions, descriptions of blood, himbo!doppelgänger!Francis Mosses, Yandere Behavior, Mentions of Stalking, sexualization of the female MC by Fake Francis, SMUT(CNC, mentions of a "rape kit"), and monster cock.
I write for free, but if you wanna further support me > Ko-Fi 🎀
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Life was somewhat boring for you as a woman in the 50s. Despite being sought after by a lot of the men in your apartment complex, you had your heart set on one man. You only got to see him once a day. Francis Mosses. When he would deliver milk to your door in the morning. No matter how cute or cherry you were, it seemed like his mind was set on other things. The man always looked tired but you thought he was handsome no matter what. Maybe even more handsome…it was just something about hot men being tired that made them so much hotter.
You had hoped that eventually, he’d notice you and finally take you on a date!
But that hope soon faded when you read the newspapers. They talked about how doppelgängers are becoming a lot more frequent and the D.D.D. would be installing new units everywhere to ensure that no evil counterparts are making their way into the homes of others and killing people. You were able to tell if this made you feel safer or a lot more scared. What if someone made a mistake…?
Well, you didn’t have a chance to feel anything really, as the D.D.D. was extremely secretive about this kind of threat. After some time, it became normalized and it soon left your mind. The Doorman job seemed to be pretty effective as you had never seen any monsters before and were very much alive. It was rumored that the creatures would murder and eat any person they encountered if they succeeded in passing as humans. This is another reason you had your heart set on Francis. You felt as though he could protect you at a time like this. Maybe it was naive of you but after all, you were just a girl.
“Good Morning.”
Upon hearing the small knock at your door, you went to greet him. Francis stood tall, rather confused about you coming to get your bottled milk so quickly.
“Oh, good morning…” He replied flatly, gripping the strap of his milk bag. You thought that maybe he had a mutual crush on you and was too shy to act on it. So, you could take that step for him.
“How are you this morning? I hope that life is agreeing with you today.” You stepped outside of your apartment door with your glass of milk in hand. Francis shrugged. “I suppose it is.” He then yawned before saying “What’s wrong? Are you looking for another?”
You blinked. “Huh?” Your eyes then darted down to your hands. “O-Oh…sure.” You smiled attractively, causing him to break eye contact with you. He reached into his milk carrier and revealed and took out another. “You’re only allowed to get one every day but you can have mine.” He walked up to you and placed the bottle into your free hand.
“Th-Thanks!”
“Don’t mention it.”
After he disappeared around the corner, you were filled with joy! That interaction was such a good sign. He gave you his milk bottle. You had to make him something for dinner tonight as a gift!
Thunk!
You almost jumped at the sound of glass falling on the carpet at the far end of the hallway behind you. It looked like an empty milk bottle if you squinted hard enough. There was a shadow as well. It made you feel uneasy and quickly made you retreat into your home.
You wanted to try seeing if you could have more time with Francis. There was a job opening for the D.D.D. Doorman of your building and you instantly took it. Being able to meet with Francis when he wasn’t busy might have your conversations with him take a turn for the better. You really appreciated his selfless gesture. So, seeing him at least twice a day would make your life so much brighter. Francis was the complete package. Tall, handsome, quiet, and most of all, soft-spoken. You’d be a good wife to him.
On the first day of the job, you didn’t receive any proper training. You were given an informational video and a set of instructions that you scrambled to memorize as a long line of your neighbors awaited their inspection outside. The job was easy at first and you did it well. It was a chore but those are easy. You let in the right people and you called the D.D.D. when you found a doppelganger like you were instructed to. Unfortunately, at the end of the day, Francis didn’t pay you any mind. You gave him a soft smile through the glass before asking him about his day. 
“I hope work is treating you well.” You pitched your voice up to sound cuter. Your graceful hands moved swiftly as you sifted through the many layers of documents, trying to organize them before your next neighbor. “Yeah, I suppose.” He answered, blinking rather slowly. Your smile widened. “Any days off soon? I’d like to see you outside of your uniform.” You winked at him and he just shrugged. “Dunno.”
“Well, maybe, sometime after your hard work, you tell me a day you’d think you would be free?” 
You waited with anticipation for his response. He seemed rather confused and it was rather adorable. Then he said “I don’t really know. I think I’m busy but I’ll let you know if that changes.”
Your smile faltered just a little but you were good at faking emotions. “Oh, no worries.” You waved him off in a playful manner before pressing the button to allow him inside. Your shift ended and you thought that you should probably get to making that dinner for him as a ‘thank you’ for the free milk. As you began to clean up, the pressure of your job began to set in. This wasn’t something that you could just quit if Francis were to reject you. Ignoring all the unexplainable noises, the dark figures, and the constant feeling of being watched, it would be very awkward seeing him every day after that.
It was a new day. Francis came to check into the building and you let him go without chatting with him because you didn’t want to seem like a bother. But…then you saw him again.
“Francis?” You cutely tilted your head. The way he looked at you was much different than usual. The Francis you knew could barely make meaningful eye contact with you but right now he had no problem burning holes into your skull with his eyes. Not only that but he was visibly bigger as well. Taller and more masculine. His arms were big and veiny. This was NOT Francis Mosses.
“I-ID…?” You gave a nervous half-smile as you tried to hide your stutter. The humanoid creature gawked, a subtle sense of happiness washing over its face the longer it stayed there. “Don’t have it on me.” It replied plainly. You picked up the clipboard before exing out the box that was labeled “ID.”
“W-Well, you seem to look a lot like someone who’s already checked in. Please, give me a moment to confirm.” You flashed it a close-eyed smile. Upon seeing it, the fake Francis moved closer to the window, fogging it up with its mouth breathing.
You pressed the big red button to close the shutter before dialing the number to the D.D.D. 
The representative told you someone would be over right away to dispose of the doppelgänger. It only took about a minute before they’d arrive. Normally, the shutter would open on its own after being reset by the D.D.D. member but for some reason, it didn’t You figured that now would be a good time to open it to help the last neighbors but when you did, you were not met with the hazmat suit you were so familiar with. 
In front of you was the same fake Francis from before, now covered in some blood. His expression was one of annoyance and the veins in his arms were pulsating as if he were trying to contain some kind of anger.
“E-Excuse me, but you need to—!”
“Let me in.”
Your heart dropped. It talked! And it sounded just like Francis too. 
You shook your head. “N-No! I’m not letting a monster in.” You reached for the number to re-dial the number again.
“But I think you look so pretty today. You wore that just for me, huh? I’d love to t-tear it off of you.” The creature’s neck involuntarily cracked its neck, twisting it in a demonic way. You screamed at the sight, pressing the button once more to close the shutters so that you wouldn’t have to see it. As they went down, the doppelgänger tried to stop it by putting his hand under it. It got caught in the track, causing it to get stuck on the track and it was open halfway.
“Come on, Darling, I know you’re not about to call those bastards again. I don’t want to have to hurt anyone else.” The large man-creature crouched down. You could see his fanged canine teeth poking out of his mouth. You backed away from the window with the telephone in hand.
3312…
You listened to the dial tone for a few seconds before the receptionist answered.
“Hello?”
“P-Please send help!” You cried over the phone. Tears began to spill out of your eyes upon hearing the squeal of metal as the predator stretched and bent it to his will. The glass was the only thing left that could stop him from entering.
You saw how abnormally long his tongue was when it glided over his lips. “I just want to taste you…”
The receptionist dispatched another group of workers to help dispose of the doppelgänger. They arrived almost instantly. It was only then that the fake Francis moved away from the window. You sighed in relief, trying to calm yourself down from the events that transpired. You ran over to the tempered glass. The mental door looked like sheet paper.
You saw no trace of the Hazmat people but you also didn’t see the fake Francis anymore. You quickly gathered your things and rushed to leave. You opened the door to let yourself out. You planned to run to your room and lock the door but as soon as you had left the room, you bumped into a stiff, toned chest. The figure grabbed you by your neck and forced you to look at them. The gloved hand was covered in blood and it stained your skin and the collar of your dress.
“Where do you think you’re going, Princess?”
His grip around your throat was so tight that you weren’t able to form words. It was completely covered in blood and in its other hand was a knife dripping with blood as well. It kept the violence to one side of the room so that you weren’t able to see anything unless you completely left the screening room.
The light clank of the knife hitting the ground could be heard and its newly free hand grabbed your waist. The doppelgänger hugged you to its masculine chest. Its head rested itself on top of yours before it planted its nose in the crown of your head before inhaling your scent deeply. The blaring sound of the alarm continued to go off and it was deafening.
Your nose was overloaded with the scent of fresh blood. The pure shock didn’t let you resist his touch. His grip loosened and you dropped everything you had in your hands on the floor, staining it in with the red substance
“P-Please.”
You felt its large hand around the back of your neck and you feared that it would snap it and kill you any second. You held your breath as you felt it set the other hand on your waist as well, rubbing it gingerly.
It felt like the doppelgänger was sizing you up to see if you’d be a good enough meal for it.
“He-ey, beautiful. It's… okay…” 
The doppelgänger’s speech was somewhat disconnected but it was fluid for the most part. At first, it was clear he was a fake but the more he kept talking, the more it sounded like the real thing…like it was learning in real time.
Your heart rate accelerated when you felt its hand travel ever so slowly from your waist to the collar of your dress. The inhuman smile on its face widened and it suddenly ripped the cloth that covered your torso. You gasped, instinctively covering your now exposed bra.
You wiggled out of its grip and used the opportunity to run. You kicked off your pumps and ran barefoot to your apartment. All you could do was hope that more of the D.D.D. would come and solve the issue before anyone else could get hurt. The emergency alarm was still going off so the authorities should be there soon.
When you arrived at your door, you tried to scramble to look for your keys so that you could get inside but…
…you remembered that you dropped them along with the rest of your possessions.
The sound of heavy footsteps approaching behind you. The large shadow engulfed your smaller form.
“Allow me.” The stranger said, calmly. Their large fist went through the door handle, shattering the lock and making it completely useless. You were too shocked to try running again. It found you.
The doppelganger shoved you against the door, swinging it open and causing you to fall forward inside of your home. You hit the floor with a soft but swift thud. “I see the way you look at him.” Its voice was laced with venom—anger but left more to be desired. It was playing with you awfully long for a creature that was trying to kill you.
“But you’d never look at me that way…”
The Fake Francis entered the apartment making sure to secure the door behind it so that you couldn’t run anymore. You cried and whimpered as it took its sweet time pushing your bookcase in front of the door so no one would intervene with what was supposed to happen next.
“I-I don’t know what you’re—” You couldn’t even finish your sentence as it smashed its lips into yours. Its tongue was like that of a serpent, slipping its way into your mouth. You tried to push it away but any attempts just resulted in your lips connecting once more. It was too strong. 
You were terrified but it passed so much for the real Francis.
“Tell me you don’t like it ‘n I’ll stop.” It whispered into your mouth before it French kissed you once more. You kissed it back, unable to resist his appearance any longer. When it pulled away, a string of saliva connected between both of your mouths. It’s warm breath hits the surface of your face, eyes full of lust and horror.
It’s soft lips attached themselves to your neck, biting and sucking until your skin slowly began turning red. “Mmm.” It hummed deeply, traveling lower and lower until it reached the cavern between your breasts. “You’re sensitive here, aren’t you?” It placed kisses in the valley of your chest, waiting for a reply. You were unable to form words at this point. It wanted to ravage you and steal your innocence. It took your idleness as consent, continuing on with satisfying itself and by extension, satisfying you.
It took the delicate hand you had been using to drive a wedge between the both of you. You thought that at this point it was going to break your arm! You squeezed your eyes shut, ready to endure the pain but…it didn’t. You felt the heated bulge beneath it’s bloodied white trousers. It throbbed. 
That’s when it finally clicked for you. It wasn’t playing with you like you were food. It wasn’t trying to taste you and pick it’s teeth with your bones. It wanted to be with you. To breed you.
“I—ah~♡!” You bit down on your lip to contain the pretty moans that left your mouth. Your bra was removed, fully exposing your breasts. Its tongue touched the tip of your nipple and its mouth enveloped over your entire areola. It licked and sucked on the bud until it was nice and hard. The other hand was subtly slipped under your dress.
It took barely any strength at all to rip the fabric, showing how inappropriately wet you’d become from this activity. It craved the essence that was oozing from your tiny cunt.
At the feeling of the cold wind, you brought your legs together just to have them forced apart again. The creature made you feel so small and vulnerable. It used force when it felt necessary but overall, it was….soft. Licking, kissing, biting but no drawing blood, taste, loving.
It salivated at your legs, raising one and nuzzling the side of its face into the smooth skin. “So…gorgeous.” It pulled you forward. “When I saw you, I knew I wanted you.”
“Y-You did…?” You squeaked. It’s touch sent goosebumps from your limp to the rest of your body. “Two years I’ve been watching you. It was so damn annoying seeing you talk to that piece of meat.”
Piece of meat?
“I don’t know who you mean.” You shied away from the perfect creature. Could it mean…
“F-Francis?” You knitted your eyes together in confusion.
“Yes—HIM!” The doppelgänger dropped your leg and pulled you by your thighs to its crotch. “…I could never decide what skin would be the best to pursue you in. But then I’d see the way you look at him.” Pre-cum was beginning to show from its member inside. You could feel the wet fabric on the lips of your hot cunt. “So, I became him…but better.”
You heard the subtle unzipping sound of the pants and it took out its thick cock. It was larger than normal and didn't look like the standard male genitalia. You’d need to use both hands to hold it.
There was no denying this thing could perfectly replicate a human man. Before you could even react, the big “man” picked you up by your hair.
“Get on your knees.” He commanded and you felt obligated to obey him. You’ve never been in a situation where you were being held up by a man like this.
“I’m gonna split you in half with this cock.” He pushed its large tip against your cheek, straining it with warm cum. “Open your mouth.”
Your lips parted for a moment but you hesitated. There was no way that whole thing could fit into your mouth. Your eyes traveled up to his for guidance. He only stared down at you with hard, tired eyes. The corner of his mouth tugged upward into a smirk.
“I said…open your mouth.”
He spoke through his teeth as if it were a threat. You were reluctant but tried to ease it in. You kissed his tip, causing him to grunt and tighten his fist around your hair. “Open.” He growled, yanking your head back. His cock was so close to your face that you could truly take in its side. It was nearly the length of your skull. 
You opened your mouth out of fear and he shoved it inside. He was kind enough to let you get used to it in your throat by going soft and slow…or maybe he was just distracted by the imprint showing on your throat. 
You grabbed his hips to keep yourself from falling backward. Even a bit of force made you lose your balance. “Good girl.” He sighed, relaxing into you, pushing the limits by pushing it deeper. Your choking and gagging only made him feel pleasure.
“You struggling with my dick in your mouth is so hot.” You heard him mutter under his breath. Your eyes began to water from the choking, causing tears to carry mascara down your cheeks.
“Keep sucking.” He fucked into your throat and gentle too. “I’m close.”
 Both of his hands found themselves on the back of your head. He sped up his pace until a loud groan emitted from his chest and a mysterious liquid found its way down your throat.
The doppelgänger let go of your hair. You fell back on your bottom and he crouched down. “Hey.” He called, grabbed both sides of your face with one hand. He squeezed your cheeks together. “Swallow.”
You swallowed what was left and once he knew it was in your belly, his lips crashed into yours. His tongue wormed its way into your mouth and explored every cavern.
You felt yourself get lifted again but this time to your feet. He walked you over to your dining table and shoved you into it. “Bend over.”
You didn’t really get a choice. When you tried to stand, he forced you down to the table with his hand on the back of your head. 
You expected him to say something, but he stayed silent. You felt him explore your backside from your hips to your exposed ass. The wind was so cold but his hands were so warm.
He chuckled darkly, spreading your ass cheeks and sticking his shaft in between. His dick was so much bigger than you that you would definitely have a belly bulge because of it. He wanted to experience it for himself.
You waited with silent anticipation for him what he would do next. You weren’t too sexually active anymore because you wanted to reserve that for the real Francis, if you ever got the chance with him, so you were really nervous about having something so big inside.
“Uah!” You squeaked, feeling a wet, warm muscle enter the deepest part of your cunt. It was his tongue!
You whipped your head around to see that his face was buried in you from behind. “Mmm.” You heard him hum vibrations into you. He consumed all of your juices as they came out. It must’ve tasted so good coming from a pretty human like you.
With every moan and whimper that left your mouth, it made his dick grow harder and harder. He didn’t stop until you had creamed all over his tongue. So much came out that it got all over his face too.
“I-Is that it? Is that what you want…?” You asked, but you were only ignored.
“Pick a hole.”
“Wh-wha—“
“Pick a hole, or I will.”
Pick…a hole…?
His large thumb massaged your asshole while his knuckles, now sleek with your cream, was stimulating your pussy.
“Um…I—“ 
“Both it is!”
Your eyes widened. “Wait, what?!”
You felt his thumb sink deep into your ass while he struggled to get his large tip into your pussy. “Damn you’re fucking tight.” He growled through his teeth. His free hand grabbed your ass, fingers sinking in so deep they’d leave marks. 
“W-Wait, you have to go slow!” You cried, face heating up from being touched in such filthy ways. “I am.” He grumbled, pushing the limits of your vagina by forcing himself inside. Despite going at the pace of a snail, the pain of trying to fit himself inside didn’t decrease at all. You helplessly clawed at the table beneath you. It didn’t matter how wet you were. He was too big.
It took a moment but he was able to get it. It slipped in with much ease on his end but the difference inside made you gasp so hard you needed to cover your mouth.
The doppelgänger began thrusting without warning, quickly overstimulating you. You could feel him in your stomach too. You reach back to push him off of you but he just grabbed your arm and kept it. There wasn’t much you could do to get someone this big off of you. You would only take it.
“P-Please…I can’t take it!” You gapped out, drool escaped your mouth as you tried to form words. He was fucking you so hard you couldn’t even think. All that could be heard around the room was the lewd slapping of his filled balls against the bottom of your pussy. 
“Beg for it then. Say you love me.” His breath hitched. “Say you want me and I’ll let you go.”
“I—“ Slap! 
You tried to speak. “I wa—“ Slap!
It seemed that when you tried to comply with him, he’d remove the hand playing with your asshole to leave a rough, skin-reddening slap on your ass. Your struggling amused him. He couldn’t help but smile.
The doppelgänger has been stalking you for so long. It was hard getting into your apartment normally because of the last doorman but he couldn’t resist you once you were sitting at that desk.
“What’s wrong?” He teased, his deep voice going soft. “My dick isn’t in your mouth anymore…so what’s the issue?” He chuckled. “Beg.”
“I want you!” You blurted out.
“You…want me? Say there’s no one else. Say you love me!” It was like music to his ears, really. It was helping him reach his climax.
“I…I love you—“
“FUCK!”
Your belly bulge quickly became bigger as his cum painted your walls and womb. Even with his dick growing more flaccid, he continued to fuck his cum into you so that you both knew who you belonged to now. Tears spilled out of your eyes as you squirted onto his cock, mixing your juices together.
“I love you too, Princess. More than you could ever imagine—“ Before he could finish, his ears perked up almost like an animal. His attention turned towards your door that he had destroyed before. “Here they come.” He muttered, putting his member back into his pants.
You weakly lifted yourself from the table. Your hand placed itself tight below your navel. It was so sore now. “Who’s coming…? What are you talking about…?”
The doppelgänger ignored you, its horns flesh and bones began contorting and changing color. Its physique turned from that of a huge masculine man to the familiar form of that of a D.D.D. member. Yellow suit and all. 
It ran to the door, opening it, and sticking its head out. “I found her, she's in here!” Its voice changed to a generic man as well. Not at all like the deep gruff from before.
Your legs felt like jelly, you fell to the ground as soon as you were able to stand. They were numb from the pleasure, leaving you unable to walk.
What happened next went by as a blur. The D.D.D. Reinforcement Team took you to a hospital where you were taken care of and given rape kit. You were unable to refuse it once the forensics team found semen at the scene. In order to maintain faith in the D.D.D., your assault was largely covered up but only those who were in the apartment that day knew about it.
After the commotion of filing our paperwork and giving information, you were sent home. You didn’t sustain any life threatening injuries but you were asked to come in periodically to see how your body would react to having the semen of a doppelgänger inside of you…so now you were a bit of a test subject to them. You quit the job after that but you were quickly replaced by a new guy. 
You hadn’t seen the doppelgänger the entire time. Or at least, you thought you didn’t. You wanted to process the situation but you were more confused as to why it craved so much validation from you. It wanted you to say you loved it. It wanted you to say that you wanted it. It said that it’s been waiting two years to be this close to you. It looked like Francis.
You had just arrived back home. Carpenters quickly replaced your door before you got home and you decided to continue life as usual by making dinner for yourself. Your heart still aches from the fear you felt when you thought you were going to die. And so did your vagina. It didn’t bleed, thank god, but it was sore to the touch from how big that monster was.
“Man, I thought you’d never come back.”
You were alone in your kitchen when a voice emitted from behind you. The familiarity in the voice made your heart drop. You quickly turned around to see the doppelgänger from before, masquerading as Francis again.
“What are you doing here? What do you—“
“Shh, princess.” He strided through your small kitchen, stepping so close to you that you were against the counter with nowhere else to go. You placed your hands on his chest, giving you the illusion that you could push him away. He grabbed your arm by the wrist before kissing the inside of your palm. He kissed your fingers and then the back of your hand before making you cup his cheek, which he nuzzled into lovingly.
You wanted to rip your hand away but his grip was so strong. You blushed. Was it wrong to admit that he…it, was attractive? 
“Why didn’t you kill me and eat me? Why did you do that to me?” You questioned meekly. His eyes were closed, enjoying your warm touch with a smile before they opened. His eyes were like hunter's eyes. “Because I love you.” He replied flatly. 
“I don’t know what that means…” 
You opened your mouth to speak again but you were cut off by a knock at your door. 
“I’ll get it.” The doppelgänger quickly said and in a mere second, it shapeshifted to turn into…you. It was able to mimic you in all your glory, including the hickeys, bites and bruises from your attack.
“No!” You blurted out. “Don’t do that.”
The doppelgänger allowed you to move away from it and your arm fell to your side. You went to get the door but you made sure to check who it was before opening.
It was Francis!
“It’s him!” You hurried to your bedroom to find your cardigan to cover your tattered clothes before answering the door.
“Francis? What brings you here?” You forced a smile but your eyes looked just as tired as his. You couldn’t hide anything from him.
“I heard what happened. ‘m so glad you’re okay.” Francis sighed, quickly invading your personal space. He hugged you to his chest. You blinked “F-Francis…?”
“I felt all torn up when I thought you died but when I heard that you were just fine, I just had to come see you myself.” Your stomach burned with delight. Francis was worried about you?
Francis let go of you and you pulled away. His face was red like he was blushing and you couldn’t help but blush too. Your lips curled into a smile. “W-Well, I’m a lot tougher than I look.”
He wanted to smile back but he couldn’t. He saw the marks on your skin. You were hurt. “I know you are.” He masked his sadness with a weak smile. He rested his hand on your head and ruffled it a bit.
It would probably be inappropriate for him to admit that he’s actually had feelings for you all this time, so he’d save it for another day. Hearing the news about the doppelgänger through gossip during his job of going door to door made him realize he could lose you at any moment. But today, he settled with placing a kiss at the crown of your head. “Stay safe. I’ll check on you again later.”
For a moment, everything in your life went still. Even after he had walked away and left you standing there, it didn’t feel real. This more or less confirmed he had a crush on you as well. No man just does that and doesn’t see you as more than just a neighbor.
Your heart fluttered as you came back to reality. You slipped back inside of your home. You need to get cleaned up! You had to bathe and find something suitable just in case Francis wanted to come inside upon your next meeting.
But then….
“You look awfully happy.”
The doppelgänger was still here. You gulped, seeing his much bigger form. He grabbed the sides of your face with his hand again. He didn’t bother crouching because of your size difference, leaving you standing on the tips of your toes.
You were too shocked to try defending yourself, so he continued. “I saw everything so don’t even try to lie. That bastard is so lucky that I have to lay low until the D.D.D. gets their claws out of you or else I would’ve…”
“Don’t hurt him!” You tried to beat and punch his arm to get him off but he didn’t budge. “Why not?!”
“Because…I’ll be sad. And you don’t want me to be sad, do you?” Your voice was unlabeled and lacked confidence. It was a Hail Mary but you’d do anything to prevent Francis from getting hurt.
“Shit.” The doppelgänger let go of you, setting you back on your feet. It seemed…conflicted. He paced around your living room briefly. It had a soft spot for you but you could tell it has trouble processing emotions like a person. It was just imitating a person to get what it wanted.
“You don’t want him. You just wanna marry a guy. I’ll marry you.” 
You shook your head. “No. Y-You can’t. You’re not him.”
“Of course I am.” His expression became mischievous. A smirk settled on his handsome face. “You can even call me Francis in bed if it fancies you.” 
You felt your stomach do a flip!
“No! I’m not calling you that. Even though you look just like him…wh-what do I call you anyway…?” You retreated inward, hugging yourself and looking quite nervous as if the situation was beginning to dawn on you. You were currently desired by one of the most dangerous beings in the world.
“Francis.”
“Stop! I’m never using that name for you.” You got angry enough to shove him but he didn’t move an inch. You quickly realized that you shouldn’t push too hard or else it might change its mind and kill you. 
“Mmm….” You pursed your lips, avoiding eye contact with the monster. “Wh-What about Franz? Is that good enough for you…?”
Franz, huh?
“Perfect.”
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Tagged Folks: @z3r0art @chilifrylizard2
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a-page-full · 2 months ago
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I need to rant about Kalego's character progression from Welcome to Demon School Iruma-Kun! And I have no one to talk to about it.
Spoilers ahead (specifically manga spoilers)
Okay. We all know how at the start of it all, Kalego despises Iruma. The second Kalego becomes Iruma's familiar he is furious and tries to rebel and even get Sullivan to break the contract. (All within episode 2).
The next time we see Kalego interact with Iruma is in front of Camu-Camu's store where he clearly tells Iruma that he will never act as his familiar. To never call on him in any circumstance. Right?
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That's why, when we get to the Heartbreaker exam, I want to cry. Before the exam, the only time Kalego is ever called as his familiar is when other people make Iruma summon Kalego. We never see Iruma ever actually use Kalego as his familiar. This also takes place after the first year contract was broken (so that Kalego would not be Iruma's familiar anymore which horribly backfires for Kalego).
During the Heartbreaker, Iruma is the one to summon Kalego. He basically begs Kalego not to harm anyone, to which Kalego looks at him and asks if it was a command (as demon and their familiar).
But then we get the part that makes me want to cry. In one moment, Iruma's danger sense goes off, and he feels immense bloodlust. Without thinking, Iruma calls on Kalego, for the first time actually making use of his familiar, and Kalego, who swore that first time to never do Iruma's bidding, immediately goes to Iruma's side to fight off a threat that he hadn't even known about. There was no hesitation or complaining. Kalego knew that whatever made Iruma actually call on his familiar was a danger to be taken seriously.
Sometimes I think about the fact that if the familiar contract had not been renewed, Iruma would have been taken. Kalego would not have been there to protect Iruma in that moment.
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Then we get the 13th of Betrayal! Keeping in mind that at this point Kalego has already talked to Narnia who hinted that Iruma was a human, and we learn that the Naberious klan finds humans to be utterly repulsive and dispicable creatures. So Kalego should and probably did have those beliefs (maybe Balam's interests in humans helped him unconsciously curb that bias he was raised in).
The thing is, though, that with that conversation very fresh in his mind, Kalego enters the building again, turns a corner, sees Iruma laying on the ground in the middle of the hallway with Asmodeus kneeling beside him, and SPRINTS to Iruma's side to make sure he was okay. Like I want to cry. This man who hated Iruma at first, sees Iruma in a position that makes him instantly think that he was hurt, and ran to check on him. The fact that Nishi draws genuine worry on Kalego's face in that moment is so beautiful.
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Then I can't end this rant without mentioning the conversation between Kalego and Balam. The fact that Kalego wanted confirmation that Iruma was a human while still being able to hold onto plausible deniability so he can continue to protect Iruma fully? Absolutely amazing. His character has changed so much while maintaining his usual personality and demeanor.
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Iruma has so much impact on every single demon around him including Kalego. It's just so beautifully done! I love this series a normal amount.
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faggotisaacfloofs · 2 months ago
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Okay I have been trying to sleep for an hour but can't so I think i have to name this and since tumblr is my public journal I'm doing it here.
Went to hardware store with caregiver today.
Got paint for living room. To get paint need to have person mix the color. Person was clearly queer and noticed me and caregiver as queer as well, had the "i see I'm among family" type interaction, was lovely
But
During the like. 10 minutes. They did not pay attention to a single thing i said (using AAC obviously). They talked a lot to my caregiver. But. They sure weren't talking to me or acknowledging or responding to a single thing I said even when I thanked them at the end.
And. It sucks that queer moments are ruined by ableism. I still am happy to see someone out and about being queer and having that lovely interaction
But I'd honestly rather interact with a cis-straight person who is communicating with me, than an lgbtqia+/queer person who isn't acknowledging my communication. Like. That's not even a question.
So.
I'm sad, I guess. That's what I have to say. I wish the interaction could have just been good, and not have such a sour center.
I am going to try to allow for the possibility that they just did not hear my AAC. It's possible I guess. It wasn't loud enough that I needed earplugs tho and that is usually the measure of if someone within 3 feet can hear my device at loudest volume! But some people are hard of hearing. So. Trying to give benefit of doubt since it had multiple sounds happening.
(But honestly like. If a person can hear what my caregiver is saying they should be able to hear what my device is saying at same range. They were not speaking loudly! We were so close! The store was was quieter than normal! I wasn't wearing earplugs in a public building that's how quiet!!! (I needed them in parking lot and every store ever more of the time!))
And also this kinda thing happens all the time which is why I am more jumping to sad.
It sucks being ignored.
It sucks not being able to speak.
It sucks not being able to partake in normal conversation when I want to!!!!
Everyone learn your local sign language and stop being a dick to people who you view as developmentally or otherwise mentally disabled!! We are still people and have thoughts!! Stop being a dick to people who can't speak. Be patient when someone is using AAC of any sort (speech device, letterboard, communication cards, gestures, etc). Make the effort to communicate with us.
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saguette · 4 months ago
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Mini info dump about Johnnys childhood but i imagine him having a distant connection with his family but not for any truly negative reasons or tension. One of the main reasons being because they had a language barrier, with Johnny not being able to speak spanish and his parents knowing limited english. Johnny wasn't bothered by their lack of interaction outside of basic parental behavior, if anything he appreciated the relationship being just child and parent with nothing extra. When he got older they just drifted apart naturally and he eventually moved far away for no particular reason relating to them. other stuff. his elaborate way of speech wouldn't have made it easy for him to have a heart to heart conversation with his family anyway if he wanted to. He has always gravitated towards explaining his feelings in some overdramatic vague-yet-detailed way, maybe to cushion some of the serious elements he spoke about and prevent it from coming off as too strong or awkward, or because he himself didn't fully understand what he was feeling and saying "I'm sad" really just is an understatement. i imagine its a heavy mix of both ontop of that don't think he would've festered some angsty teenage hatred "i couldn't talk about my feewings!" for them or anything, maybe now in therapy he could complain about that but he honestly doesn't see a problem. infact, as a teenager he was pretty a happy one and didn't really need to often confide in someone (*difference between how he normally acts and genuinely trying to talk about his frustrations) -and when he DID it wasn't life or death at stake or anything, he would just go be angsty and ramble to one of his "friends" at the time. i have to stick friends in quotations because i think Johnny would undermine them more as "people i hung out with sometimes" the eric stuff is. something in my head idk. i have way more JTHM art but this is all you get sorry smiles a bit
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heartyluv · 3 months ago
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🧊⋆。𖦹°🫧⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
Note: I just wanted to say thank you guys. I know 20 something likes may not be a lot to most, but 20 people taking the time to read and show love to what I put out is pretty damn cool. It motivated me enough to just go ahead and write for Zayne since he was already winning the poll I put up, but if anyone is still interested in the idea I had for Caleb or if you have a request, just lmk! I hope you enjoy! ♡
Rating: Explicit - !!Minors DO NOT interact!!
Warning: Smut
Word Count: 2,102
Summary: Zayne tends to be a man of a few words, but one with very strong emotions. Imagine how he feels seeing the student nurse under his guidance flirting with you. Now, imagine how irritated he really feels to see you not do a thing about it.
Reader/Jealous!Zayne
─────✮─────
For most people, Friday is one of the more relaxing days out of the work week. Everyone’s ready to go home for the weekend, the work load isn’t so stacked, and anything you didn’t finish was just something you saved for Monday.
But that was never the case for Dr. Zayne.
The man almost never had a break and for the sacred times that he did, he spent it catching up on rest, eating, or checking in with you. He didn’t like having to be away from you for so long. Hated that it was common for him to be sleeping as you woke up or to be waking up as you slept. But you knew his job, knew his groundbreaking contributions is one of the things that put him in the position to be the Chief Cardiac Surgeon that everyone loves.
And you liked to make sure you knew he was appreciated—which is why you set up a dinner date tonight. You sent him a long text with all the details along with all your love and praise. He took the time to read it thoroughly this morning before he got ready for work. Essentially, he got the gist. Besides you pouring your heard out, his instructions to follow were clear:
Be ready for you to pick him up.
Stay handsome.
It was enough to make him push a small laugh out through his nose.
Even if he was terribly busy today like normally, he was graced with the opportunity to be able to leave the hospital at eight o’clock this evening over his typical time of nearly one in the morning.
It was time for him to meet you at his office and he made his way down the long white hallway, his black Oxford’s clicking against the white vinyl tile. He knew you’d be early and the thought of seeing you made a small smile decorate his face. But it dropped almost immediately when he saw you.
You looked beautiful. You wore his favorite outfit: a maxi skirt that he’d bought for you and a top that put your chest on display in a way that could make him disregard professionalism, if only for a brief second.
But it wasn’t you that shifted his mood. It was Mason.
Zayne had taken on the task of educating and teaching the student nurse during his time in the hospital when he was available. He taught him things like suture techniques, protocols to live by, alongside the understanding of patient care and the overall medical scene.
And right now, Mason’s leering gaze and proximity to you wasn’t anything medical. Zayne didn’t typically get jealous. No, he knew his place in your life, knew the love you two shared. He was secure enough in your relationship and in his trust to know that you were his.
But could you blame the man for getting ticked off at how Mason’s eyes kept glazing over you like you weren’t spoken for? He knows you’re beautiful, the world would be stupid not to see it. But to do it so blatantly in front of his office, in the hospital he works, to the woman he loves and doesn’t get enough time with? It was too much audacity.
And all you’re doing is standing there, nodding and laughing with the fool. As he gets closer, his eyes narrowed even more as bits and pieces of the conversations became clearer.
“…You are really pretty, you know? I’d like to hang out with you sometime if you’re not too—“
“You are dismissed,” Zayne cuts Mason off before he loses his tongue for even attempting to finish that sentence.
“Oh, Dr. Zayne! I didn’t mean to—“
“Dismissed.” It was cold, but in his eyes, necessary. Mason nods, keeping his eyes to the floor as he scurries away.
“You know I was going to turn him down, Zayne,” you said softly as you smiled at him. But Zayne didn’t smile.
“Was that before or after you let him believe that he had a chance?”
“I just didn’t want to be rude. He seemed so… giddy?” You shrugged, not knowing how to properly describe the eager young man. “He meant no harm. He doesn’t even know we’re together.”
Zayne likes to keep his life outside of work private. Sure, you’d visit him at times and people knew that, but that was all anyone knew. You were a visitor and your relationship to him was only explained when, and or if necessary.
“Setting boundaries isn’t being rude.” Zane turned away from you, stepping into his office.
“You’re mad,” you acknowledge as you step in after him and shut the door, the automatic lock clicking.
Zayne sits at his desk, piling paperwork together. He doesn’t want to acknowledge what he’s feeling right now. He’ll ruin the night before it even begins.
“Zayneee,” you say his name in a sing-song tone, but he’s just not having it. “This is unfair, you know.”
That gets his attention. “Unfair?” he repeats. “I’d like you to enlighten me as to how.”
“You act like I kissed the guy.”
He tilts his head. It’s a small tilt, but it’s an intimidating one. “Based on the fact that you didn’t attempt to stop the interaction, perhaps it’s what you wanted.”
He stood from his desk, walking over to where you stood dumbfounded.
“Do you think I like to see the woman I love be ogled over, hm? Do you think I want to hear someone speak to you like they could take you from me?” The calmness in his voice is unsettling and it makes your body shiver.
“Babe, you’re being dramatic—”
“I don’t advise invalidating what I’m feeling, my love.”
“I’m not trying to invalidate you. I’m just saying that maybe you’re taking this—”
“On your knees.”
You blink, trying to grasp if you heard him correctly. You know you did because your core pulses at his firm command. Your lack of movement makes the corner of his mouth tick up. “It seems like listening isn’t something you’re too keen on doing today, is it?”
You slide your purse off your shoulder, putting it to the side as you sink down on the plush rug. You can barely breathe steadily, unsure of what he’s going to do. Zayne has fucked you in his office before, but he’s never been… like this.
Frustrated? Upset? Angry? Maybe all of the above.
“We’re going to miss the reservation,” you try and tell him, but your voice is so shaky from anticipation. He just caresses your hair, his hand trailing down to your jaw as her gently grabs it to keep your eyes on his.
“Maybe you’ll learn something from this, then. You know what to do.”
You do. It’s why you don’t hesitate to unbuckle his belt and the clink of the metal makes your pussy clench as you unbutton his slacks. Your teeth hold your bottom lip hostage as you slide them down with his boxers just enough to release his half hard cock. The sight of him is always so mouthwatering.
You look up at him and he peers at you through his wire rimmed glasses. His gaze doesn’t need words.
No one told you to stop.
There’s no need to waste time. You take him into your mouth, bobbing your head and holding onto his thighs as his cock glides along your tongue. You feel him stiffen more in your mouth, your moans vibrating through his body.
“So you do know how to listen.” He hums low and deep as you take his balls into your hand and give them just as much attention.
Zayne’s quick to pull you by your hair, his cock falling out of your mouth. It glistens with your saliva and his precum, making you desperate to feel him inside of you. He rubs his tip along your lips and you kitten lick him with your tongue.
“Couch.” He tilts his head in its direction. You stand, legs wobbly. He doesn’t give you time to get into position quick enough, though. He turns you around, pushing you down, and the sudden force makes you gasp.
“Tell me what you did wrong today.” You watch him kneel before you. He tucked himself back into his underwear, but his slacks still hang loosely around his waist.
“I didn’t stop Mason when I should have.” He lifts your skirt.
“And?”
“I shouldn’t have invalidated what you were feeling.”
“Don’t just repeat it, beautiful. Explain.” Your panties are pulled down, exposing your wet cunt to the chill air.
“You had every right to be upset with me for not stopping Mason. I should’ve set that boundary before he even— Oh, fuck!”
The last thing you expected was to feel literal ice on your pussy lips. You look down to see the frost settle in his hand, indicating that he just used his Evol. The ice stings so good as he parts your lips slightly. You shiver when he brings the frigid cube to your achingly hot clit, rubbing in small circles.
“Yes, you should’ve. If there’s ever a time where you choose to let such behavior happen again with anyone, I may not be so forgiving.”
You watch as he puts the cube in his mouth before latching onto you with vigor. The mix of the cold ice and his warm mouth has you seeing stars and your thighs trembling. You’re so close, you’re about to come and he knows it since you sing his name so prettily as your hand tangles in his dark strands. It’s exactly why he pulls away right as you were getting ready to embrace the bliss.
He licks his lips, your juices coating them. Ignoring your whines, disappointment, and frustration, he holds out his hand and you take it, knowing that disobeying him right when you know just feeling his cock could make you come, is plain stupid. He gets you to his desk, bending you over it and puts your skirt back into place above your hips.
“You’re sorry, aren’t you?” he whispers.
“I’m so sorry, Zayne. Please let me come,” you beg.
“Are you sorry because you understand or because you’re desperate?” He rubs your ass gently.
“I’m sorry because you’re right. Because I know better.”
“Hm. Good girl.” The praise and rumble of his voice nearly sends you over the edge. It’s a second as you hear movement behind you and another as his cock starts to enter your tight cunt. You arch your back, needing him deeper, closer.
It’s not long until he’s buried to the hilt, his hips fast and steady. You hear the sound of his Evol this time, intaking a sharp breath as he rubs ice down your spine.
“I’m going to let you come, but if you don’t come before me, we’re still going out tonight.” You feel the ice trail down further. “My cum will be deep inside you… and you’ll be unfulfilled.” Each thrust has his balls slapping against your clit, giving you the friction you crave. “Is that what you want?”
“N-no.. No, please, I want to come..” You desperately grab at the desk, trying to keep yourself from turning into jelly.
“Then come,” he commands. “Show me how good you listen.”
Each vein of his length glides against your walls and you feel every delicious inch of him.
One, two, three, four more thrusts and you nearly make your lip bleed as you try and suppress your moans while you fall over the edge. It feels so good you nearly cry.
Zayne grunts as you uncontrollably squeeze around him. His hips start to slow and you feel his hot and thick cum jet out, decorating the inside of you. The only sound in the office now is you and his breathing trying to return to normal.
“Wait here,” he says gently, pulling out of you slowly. He goes and grabs some napkins, dampening them with water from his bottle and wipes you down gently. It’s silent between the both of you for a moment.
“I’m sorry for making us miss dinner,” he speaks. “I’ll make it up to you.”
You smile to yourself. “It’s okay,” you say truthfully. “This was still nice.”
“Nice?” he chuckles dryly. “This was supposed to be a lesson.”
“Oh believe me, Dr. Zayne. I learned a lot.”
He helps get you back in order for the public and you do the same for him. Even if you two didn’t share a meal together tonight, you shared a moment that will be stuck in your mind forever.
‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚
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russellbby · 6 months ago
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Jealously doesn’t look good on you🙄
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parings: f1 grid x fem!mercedes f1 driver!reader
in which: the young driver seems to get on very well with the younger drivers and jealousy starts to get to the rest of the grid..
requested: yes, by anonymous: Heyy, can I request something where the reader is the youngest f1 driver and is very closed off and don't talk much to any of the drivers, however when the younger drivers are around (kimi, ollie etc) she doesn't stop talking to them and the grid can't help but get jealous of her relationship with the younger drivers. thank uuu :))
a/n: I’m back guys!! This request has been sitting in my inbox for I don’t know how long. Hope you like it and start sending me in more requests! :)
//
Y/n, a young talent, record breaker, the youngest on the grid and the paddock princess. However, despite how much the grid loves and cares for her, they don’t know a single thing about her.
The young mercedes driver was entering the paddock, smiling and waving at the cameras before making her way over to fans to sign things and take photos before she made her way into the garage.
“The fans know more about her than us,” Lando mumbled as he had watched her interaction with the fans.
“Y/n has always been like this especially in formula 2, she would only talk on the radio and interviews” Oscar added.
“She’s just shy, don’t like talking and prefer to be alone. I learnt that the hard way when she became my teammate” George said.
“I just wish she would open up to us, it’s like her whole life is a mystery to us” Charles added.
//
Later, a few of the drivers had gathered in the lounge before the start of a busy weekend. During these times, Y/n is normally on her own with her headphones with a book in hand or on her phone.
This time around, she had her knees up with her book on her lap with headphones on with no care in the whole and having no intentions of joining any conversations or banter amongst the drivers.
However, her plan didn’t stay very long as she felt her headphones being taken off her head which made her look up at the certain aussie driver.
“Danny!” Y/n exclaimed as she got up and tried to get her headphones back, only for Daniel to lift them in the air, Y/n soon realised there was no point in trying.
“C’mon, you were being anti-social!” Daniel said.
“How do you even like reading?” Lando added which earned him a glare from the young driver.
“I mean he has a point, how do you find it entertaining?” Max asked.
“This shows you lot barely finished school or dropped out” Y/n told them.
“We just want to talk to you! We know nothing about your life!” Charles added.
“There’s nothing too exciting that happened, just a normal childhood!” Y/n said before she got ahold of her headphones and went back to the same position before the drivers interrupted her.
“One day, we will get something out of her” Pierre said.
//
The morning passed, Y/n was just talking to her engineers as FP1 had just finished and were gathering information in preparation for FP2.
Y/n knew that F2 was going on this weekend, she was hoping to be able to see some of her closest friends and her wishes were fulfilled when she looked outside her garage.
She saw Ollie, Kimi and Paul chatting outside, this made her face light up with a smile, which was rare for her and she knew her team were watching her, but she didn’t care.
"Guys!!" she called out, jogging over to them.
"Y/n!" Kimi opened his arms as the young girl launched into a hug. The pair laughed as they pulled apart, before Y/n hugged Ollie and Paul.
The four started talking continuously about anything and everything and laughing, which caught the attention of the grid.
“It’s like she’s two different people,” Lando said as he nudged Oscar pointing over to the scene.
“That’s Y/n for you” Oscar replied.
//
“Y/n!” Daniel called as he made his way over to where she was sitting down on a table outside the mercedes hospitality. Soon enough, Daniel wasn’t the only drivers who joined her.
“What’s this? A gathering?” Y/n asked.
“You with Ollie, Kimi & Paul?!” Charles said.
“What about it? We are best friends, we are all practically family” Y/n replied confused.
“So they know everything about you?!” Pierre added.
“Well, duh!” Y/n told them.
“You are like a completely different person when you’re with them compared to us!” Max added.
“Didn’t realise that there was a drivers meeting outside the Mercedes hospitality” Kimi joked as he walked over with Ollie and Paul.
“They are saying I’m different person with you lot compared to them” Y/n mumbled.
“Well, they ain’t wrong!” Paul said.
“I’m going to tell your mum you still haven’t opened up to anyone but us,” Kimi joked.
“Don’t blame me if you don’t get invited over to our annual barbecue!” Y/n replied.
“Your parents love me too much to not invite me over, I’m their favourite!” Kimi added.
“We will be stealing Y/n until FP2! See you all later!” Ollie told them as him and Paul became a barrier between Y/n and Kimi.
“What the f*ck just happened?” Lando said.
“That’s one way of putting it..” Daniel replied.
“Maybe we should of just accepted it at the beginning..” Charles mumbled.
//
Throughout the rest of the day and weekend, the drivers stared down the 3 young drivers who made Y/n smile and laugh continuously.
And from that day on, the grid accepted that they were never going to find out anything about Y/n. Despite it all, they still continue to try and get stuff out of her, which leads to nothing.
They were really jealous of Ollie, Kimi and Paul.
However, they learnt the hard way that jealously doesn’t look good on them..
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willosword · 7 months ago
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kit, jentry and the art of misunderstanding
this is basically just a really long post going over kit and jentry's interactions in eps 8 and 9 bc i've seen some people feel like their characterization took a sharp turn ("they made kit act like an incel", "they made jentry reject him just because he's a demon", etc), when i thought both their actions were perfectly understandable and a pretty natural evolution of their not-relationship. i think the key thing to remember when watching these scenes is that both characters have very different assumptions about the current status of their relationship, partly because they were never able to sit down and define it in the first place.
kit thinks he and jentry are functionally together, that any hesitation on jentry's part is the result of some fixable fault of his own, while jentry thinks they were never a thing to begin with, and especially not now after kit betrayed her trust.
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so this is where the trouble really begins, tho i think even earlier in this conversation is when they started to be on different pages. up until this point, kit had been hoping she'd forgive him, and was taken aback when she said she wasn't looking for apologies. then she started reiterating her belief in his soul and relating to the feeling of being trapped with a life defined by someone else
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jentry pov: even though i'm feeling deeply betrayed, kit doesn't deserve to be under anyone's thumb. we'll help each other out and then we'll part ways amicably. that'll make things right.
kit pov: hold up. 'make things right'? as in... make up? as in... a relationship is still on the table? :D
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jentry pov: after the powers are gone there'll be nothing tying kit to me, and nothing tying either of us to mr cheng. he'll be free to move on and choose whatever new life he wants.
kit pov: she said 'you and me' like we're a pair! so she still wants to be with me after all :D we're reconnecting!!
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so this is when kit starts getting possessive. there's definitely good old fashioned jealousy at play, but i also think kit was genuinely under the impression that he and jentry were reconnecting, and that jentry should have no reason to be interested in michael at this point.
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back at school he's genuinely confused, because he has no idea jentry isn't into him anymore. he helped her get rid of the powers and made up with her, so now they should be back in business. he did the mum thing that's apparently a romantic gesture jentry likes, so shouldn't she be happy about it? look how thoughtful he's being!
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jentry pov: ohhh shoot, he doesn't get that i don't wanna be with him anymore. i can't deal with any more stressful demon stuff......... how do i put this nicely...
kit pov: yep haha ^_^ no more powers, yay! it's like what you said back at my house! now that you don't have the powers nothing is getting in the way of our relationship anymore, like mr cheng and gugu's game. peace and love on planet earth <3
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jentry pov: i need to let this dude down as GENTLY AS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. i want to word this in a way that SCREAMS "you're an okay dude, just not what I personally want out of a relationship right now" because I know he has issues with his sense of identity. so i will focus on how the relationship itself can't be normal. this will hopefully take the brunt of rejection off him as an individual and lay the blame at the feet of unfortunate circumstances
kit pov: ohhhh so she WANTS to be in a relationship with me but i'm not acting normal enough
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jentry pov: ok thank god. he gets that i don't want us to be together AND he took it gracefully.
kit pov: so she's saying we can be together... once i start acting more normal? that's slightly upsetting. but totally doable :)
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jentry pov: i will now pursue michael since i've cleared things up with kit ^_^ yaaayyy
kit pov: what the hell??? i'm trying to be normal for her???? like she ASKED me to?? but now she's flirting with michael out of nowhere???
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jentry pov: THIS CREEPY ASS DUDE KEEPS STALKING ME AFTER I TOLD HIM IM NOT INTERESTED
kit pov: i am doing Normal Displays of Normal Human Affection like she literally asked me to >:( ok well not literally but she INSINUATED
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from his pov, she's not even giving him a chance to "correct" his behavior before she runs off with someone else, toying with his emotions. he's trying to "out-normal" michael to win her back, but it's frustrating and terrifying bc if there's one thing he Can Not handle it's rejection
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jentry pov: this guy obviously can't take a gentle let-down, so I need to be more blunt about this. he stalked me, lied to me, tried to kill me. how can he NOT see why i don't want to be around him anymore? what the heck is his problem?? how much meaner do i need to be about this before he finally leaves me alone???
kit pov: ok, so the mask is coming off now. she said i was more human than i thought, that a soul is made up of the decisions you make, who you choose to be. but i didn't choose to be centuries old, i didn't choose to drain qi, those are all intrinsic parts of my demonic existence. was all that talk a lie? do i not have a soul after all? am i not human enough for her? was she just trying to spare my feelings this whole time?
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jentry pov: he's so creepy and possessive, i hate this, why can't he just take no for an answer!!? (<- objectively true btw)
kit pov: she's avoiding the question, so she means 'yes' and is too proud to say it. she doesn't like me because i'm a demon, and if i was a normal human, we'd be together right now
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so of course he gets so upset he punches the lockers. it's not extreme or out of character, he thinks everything jentry told him about his humanity was a lie. that there IS something inherently wrong with him that nothing but the acquisition of a soul could fix. that he's back to square one, that mr cheng was right, that no one could possibly love him in his natural state. that he is, inherently, down to his core, a monster.
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but at least this time, he doesn't have to kill jentry to get what she he wants (because it was never really about her. he never prioritized her happiness. everything he did to change 'for' her was always about desperately maintaining the sense of human connection he craved)
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wonderjanga · 8 months ago
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Guys… Marvel Might Need Some Help
Captain Marvel talks to himself. It’s a well known fact. The normally cheery and friendly man is a little crazy, but aren’t we all? And you see, the thing is, they know he’s talking to himself because not only did they get Zatanna to check if he was talking to a ghost of some kind, but he’s personally confirmed it:
Marvel: “Oh uhm… I guess I’m talking to myself.”
Batman: “Talking to yourself…?” *blinks rapidly as if Billy can see that under his cowl* “Captain, do we need to schedule an appointment with Black Canary?”
Marvel: “What?! No! I’m perfectly fine! Everyone talks to themselves!”
That’s what Billy thinks anyways. See, Billy developed the habit of talking to himself because he was usually alone most of the time before he met Freddy and reunited with Mary. Talking out loud made himself feel less lonely. Freddy also talks to himself, but he keeps it mostly to mumbles, and as for Mary, she does the same thing as Billy. So, with the only two people he converses with on the daily as the standard, he’d say talking to yourself is normal.
By the way, Batman got a little more concerned at his reasoning, but couldn’t really deny it because he’s talked to himself before, after going 45 straight with no sleep on. He had been hallucinating talking to Tim. Speaking of Tim, the boy often mutters to himself when going over cases so… Bruce supposed he would let it go. He’d still have Dinah on speed dial though if Cap seemed to get worse.
Billy didn’t get worse, he just didn’t change his normal talking to himself.
Billy: *in Marvel form, talking to Marvel in the reflection of one of the Watchtower’s windows* “What a stupid idiot.”
Reflection!Marvel: “I know, right? Who does that?”
Billy: “I couldn’t tell yo…” *trails off and looks to the side to see Bruce staring at him* “…Hey Mr. Batman. You need something?”
Batman: “No.” *continued staring*
Billy: *has no choice but to stare back*
Batman: *walks away staring at Billy the entire time until he turns a corner*
Later, Bruce reviewed the footage. What he didn’t know was that people can’t see Marvel’s reflection talking back. Cameras couldn’t pick it up either. So sure enough, he saw Cap having a full blown conversation with a mirror. Strike one for Marvel.
Then, there was a time after a battle against the usual alien invaders where Marvel was genuinely just staring at either the ground or his shadow and talking.
Billy: *in Marvel form talking to Marvel (Thavma?) as a shadow* “That’s what I was saying. What if he doesn’t…”
Shadow!Marvel: “He’ll definitely let you. And if he doesn’t, you could always just break his kneecaps.”
Billy: “I’m not doing that.”
Shadow!Marvel: “I’m just saying. It’s just if that old man is that pressed about you getting some food, it seems a change is needed.”
Batman: *watching this entire interaction and not being able to hear Shadow Marvel*
Strike two for Marvel.
Then, there are the times Marvel will just blankly stare ahead in meetings, mumbling to himself.
Marvel: *mumbling under his breath* “Mercury, you’re being loud.”
Batman: *sitting next to him, slowly looks over*
Supes: *presenting and looks over to Marvel for a second before shaking off what he said*
Marvel: “No, I’m not smashing a window and letting everyone fly out. I’m not insane.”
That was strike three for Bruce. Which was himself too many strikes in his opinion. That one sentence also gained an extremely concerned look from Clark who literally paused his presentation to stare at Marvel with a dumbfounded expression for a moment.
After the meeting…
Batman: “Marvel, I’d like to talk with you.”
Marvel: “Oh uhm… Okay! What’s up, Mr. Batman?”
Batman: “What’s up is that I’ve spoken with Black Canary and we want to schedule an appointment between you and her.”
Marvel: “Mr. Batman, we’ve already talking about this. I’m perfectly fine. I don’t need therapy.”
Batman: “You might think you’re fine, but I’ve grown concerned over recent behaviors you’ve exhibited.” *hands him Canary’s business card* “At least consider it.”
Marvel: *looks at the card* “Uh… Will do.”
Batman: “Good.” *walks off*
Marvel: *as soon as Bruce is out of sight, chucks it into his pocket dimension to forget about it*
Nope, nope, nope. He’s not touching therapy with a ten foot pole. He’s heard that stuff costs like thousands of dollars! He does not have that kind of money. Not that he doubts the League would cover it. He also just doesn’t want his behavior to be psychoanalyzed. No thank you. He really doesn’t need to be told something is wrong with him when he is perfectly fine. Marvelous in fact!
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gublernatural · 1 year ago
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Finishing Gifts ❤︎ Aaron Hotchner
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from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸 READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.
♡ SUMMARY: after a few days of ignoring him, Aaron makes an effort to get your behavior to return to normal
♡ WARNINGS: 18+ MDNI, smut, female and male masturbation, phone sex, mentions of watching porn, sex toys, drinking, small mentions of criminal minds-esque themes and violence, pretty much porn with very little plot, this is not edited like at all
♡ NOTE: something about writing aaron masturbating makes me go brrrrrr
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
You had thought you were keeping your cool. Honestly, truly, you had thought no one would notice the small changes in your behavior. You had tried to be subtle in dodging Hotch, doing it slowly and over time. It had started with piggybacking Spencer’s theories in the field, which led to pushing to go look at a crime scene rather than to the police department with Hotch. Then evolved into getting deep into conversation with JJ as you approached the jet, using it as an excuse to claim a seat next to her rather than your normal position between Hotch and the window.
These acts had gone unnoticed, or, at least, you’d thought. In your determination to avoid them, you hadn’t noticed the strange looks Derek and Morgan had thrown each other, and then Aaron, as you relaxed next to JJ. You missed Garcia questioning what had been up with you as you extended your time making coffee before a briefing, just so you didn’t have to walk behind Hotch into the room.
But, your latest change to avoid your unit chief definitely didn’t fly under the radar. This one was loud and clear, and absolutely threw off the entire BAU.
You’d just completed, by all possible metrics, a very successful case. It was a rare one, looking at terrorism in the DC area. A group of people who were planting explosives around the city, in unsuspecting areas. Instead of targeting political buildings or memorials, they focused on smaller-scale destruction. The team had been able to put the perpetrators away with no more casualties than those that were gone before the team landed. All in all, it was incredibly stressful, but a win for the team.
So, after Emily’s suggestion and Derek’s reminder that it was an extended weekend due to a government holiday, the team was getting ready to head to the bar. You had begged to go home to shower, promising you’d take an Uber (so you could, in Penelope’s words, “get fucked up with the girls”) and meet them at the bar in about an hour.
You put on your best outfit, showing an appropriate amount of cleavage, and did your makeup to the best of your abilities. After you’d cleaned up, you went to open your Uber app, excited to have a night to relax.
However, you were cut off when a phone call overtook your screen. “Aaron” the contact name read, indicating it was your unit chief, and that he was calling from his personal cellphone. You let ring a few times before picking up, not wanting to seem too eager to talk to your boss.
“Hellooo,” you practically sung into the phone, too excited to be worried about embarrassing yourself in front of him. He simply replied with a formal “hello,” followed by your name. “Please don’t tell me you’re ruining my longggg weekend,” You said to him, and he swore he could hear some of jewelry shaking. You couldn’t keep your excitement in, shaking your wrists, which made your bracelets make noise.
He chuckled a bit at your reaction to him calling, “No, no. I was just calling to see if you had left yet.” You smiled against the phone, knowing where this conversation was going. “Nope! I was actually ordering my Uber when you called,” you informed him. “So, you haven’t ordered it?” He questioned again, to which you replied with a “uh-uh”.
You couldn’t tell but your excitement about going out with your friends was essentially oozing through the phone, causing Aaron to maintain a bright smile on his face. You weren’t aware of how your vibe, your energy, was able to lift a weight off of Aaron’s shoulders that had been there for as long as he could remember.
“I also had to run home before meeting the team. If you’d like, I can pick you up.” Your smile, somehow, grew even bigger. Any excuse to see Aaron was a good one, you’d thought.
However, your face quickly fell when you reminded yourself that you were supposed to be avoiding him. You felt a pang in your heart as you said, “Thanks, but I have a few things to finish up here! I appreciate the offer, Hotch.”
With a quick, formal goodbye, the called ended. Aaron tried to ignore the fact that you lied to him as he drove the rest of the way. You had said you were about to call your Uber, and he heard your jewelry, meaning you were putting the finishing touches on your outfit. So why wouldn’t you accept his ride?
He tried to ignore the blow to his chest when you called him Hotch. Something about the use of his last name made him feel as if he’d done something wrong. Not that it was unusual for you, or anyone really, to call him that. It was the emphasis you’d put on it. As if you were trying to make it known he was Hotch and not Aaron.
Aaron tried to turn off his profiling ability, but it was proving to be had as all of his thoughts were currently encompassed by you.
The night, and the whole weekend if you were being honest, went by in a blur. You could tell Aaron had noticed the change in your behavior. You were standoffish at the bar, pretty much avoiding any conversation with him. You just hoped by the end of the long weekend it would be forgotten, and you’d be able to continue work as normal.
This dream was quickly demolished as Aaron was summoning you into his office before you had the chance to even put your bag down and unpack your files.
The sound of calling your last name both frightened and intrigued you. You couldn’t help but be attracted to the authority in his voice, even if it could mean you were going to be in trouble.
As you stepped into the voice, Aaron didn’t even look up. He mumbled a “shut the door, please,” as he finished recording some notes on an opened file in front of him. You stood awkwardly by the door, waiting for some kind instruction or reasoning from him.
“Please,” he gestured to the seats in front of his desk. You nodded, clumsily making your way to them. “I didn’t mean to scare you or make you uncomfortable by calling you in here,” he began.
You weren’t sure if you were more scared by being called into his office, to have a conversation that required you to both sit down and shut the door, or the intense eye contact he was maintaining as he introduced whatever discussion you two were about to have.
“I just couldn’t help but notice,” he paused for a second, trying to find the right words to say, “a recent change in your behavior.” You hoped he didn’t notice the way your eyes went wide, knowing you’d been caught. You didn’t have to ask what he was talking about to know you’d been caught, but you did anyway, “What do you mean?” You thought you were playing your part well, furrowing your eyebrows to truly emphasis your fake confusion.
“It feels as though you’ve been avoiding me.” Aaron says. His tone isn’t angry or even authoritative, but rather, disappointed. There’s a slight huff in the way he spoke. He didn’t give you a chance to defend yourself before he continued, “Which is fine if you so choose to do so. I would just like to know if it was because of something I did and if I could fix it. I want the team to function as well as it can, and I feel as though it would not if there was conflict between you and I.”
Aaron had to find a professional spin to throw his statement, knowing the professionalism of this situation was debatable at best. “Oh, sir,” you blushed, not really knowing what to say, “I don’t believe there is any conflict between us.” Your voice was formal, too formal. It was obvious you were under pressure. “So, what is it then?” He questioned.
You could feel yourself growing small under his intense stare. You could also feel the wet patch growing between your legs, making you slightly uncomfortable.
“You, uh, you kind of make nervous.” With your quiet voice and stutter, and the way your thighs squeezed together, it was easy for Aaron to pick up on the reason he made you nervous. His cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink instantaneously. “Oh,” his voice trailed off, followed by your quiet, “yeah.”
There was a few beats of silence before he cleared his throat. “Well, I’m glad to hear there’s no issues between us.” You nodded with his words, growing even more nervous. Your mouth was moving before your brain could catch up, “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to, it’s just been a minute since I’ve, ya know, and I know you’re boss but I will be completely professional and this will not effect my work in or out of the field.”
While you mean to be assuring your boss that your attraction to him was no detriment to your work, you just admitted that it’s been a minute since you’ve had an orgasm. You needed to end this conversation quickly.
“If that’s all,” You said as you stood, “I have a few more reports to finish.” Aaron simply nodded, dismissing you back into the bullpen. You made a break for the bathroom, hoping to have a few minutes to collect yourself before facing the race of the team. You felt exposed, knowing you were entering a room of profilers after since a painful experience. You needed some time alone.
After a mini-breakdown, and cleaning up your messed up mascara, you made your way to your desk. Calm and collected. That’s all you had to be. Calm and collected.
Serial killers and other criminals had quieted down for the week, in an unlikely turn of events. You’d only had to travel for one day, quickly solving a kidnapping case and the finding the perpetrator. The week flew by swimmingly. Nothing odd had happened.
Until you opened your door Saturday morning.
You hadn’t ordered anything, that much you were sure of. Even if you did, you tended to shop at places with bright packaging that made you feel like you were opening a gift when it was delivered. This unsuspecting, plain box was not here on your accord, yet it had your name and address on it.
The FBI agent side of you flipped into protection mode, racing to grab your phone and dial up the one person you knew that could tell you what to do if there happened to be a bomb inside of the box. Derek Morgan. “Pretty girl, why are you facetiming me at 8:27am on a Saturday?” He teased with a smile on his face. No matter what time it was, Derek was ready to listen.
“I got this box and I don’t know what it is. I just want someone to be around when I open it.” You informed him, sitting down next to the box. You should probably be standing, just in case you had to make a run for it but you were too worried about getting it open to think that far ahead.
“Alright,” He said, urging you to open it. You nodded to him, setting up the phone so he could you see and the box in the frame. You carefully tore off the tape, and let out a sigh of relief when nothing happened when it moved. You lifted the flaps slowly, taking a loud gasp when you saw it was. You hoped Derek didn’t see, and moved quickly to pick up your phone to hang up before he could.
“It’s not a bomb! I’m good, thanks Derek!” You rushed, hanging up before he could say anything. Your eyes didn’t leave the box as you let your arms fall to your sides. Sitting inside of it was a small, pink rose toy. A vibrator. That you definitely didn’t order.
You grabbed the box, hoping none of your neighbors saw it. It’s not that masturbation was wrong or immoral or that you didn’t partake, it was just weird if the people around you were aware of your toys.
So, you made sure your door was tightly closed before putting the box on the table and digging through it. There was all the normal things, the vibrator itself, large bubble wrap, and a paper receipt with the name of the product: Intimately GG Rose Suction Simulator from Pink Cherry.
However, there was another piece of paper at the bottom of the box. It was a typed note that read, “I hope this helps us go back to normal. A.H”. You knew exactly one person with the initials A.H. so it wasn’t rocket science to figure out who had ordered you this sex toy.
You weren’t sure if you were more turned on or embarrassed.
Aaron was your boss. Your kind, protective, strong, hot, sexy, boss. But still your boss. You wondered if this is something he would’ve done for someone like Emily or Penelope if they’d been in your predicament. It clicked quickly that it definitely wasn’t, and that made you special in Aaron Hotchner’s eyes.
So, you made a mental note to give him a call, after you tried out your toy. Luckily, you had your cleaning solution and an old bottle of lube from your past encounters. You made quick work of getting the toy clean and finding a video to help you get yourself off.
Of course, the man in the video was a white man who was bit older, with broad shoulders and black hair. No coincidence there.
You started with your boobs, taking time to massage each one before pulling on and pinching them to get yourself warmed up. Between the sounds coming from the video and the excitement of finally having time to yourself, your hands didn’t take long to move downwards, tracing along the length of your body. One hand continued caressing your side as the other made its way to your core.
The thought of Aaron going out of his way to help you get off and the visual of a man who looked similar to him getting his dick sucked had you borderline dripping on your bedsheets as you used your hand to start toying with your clit. You started with small circles, matching the speed of the girl sucking Aaron’s lookalike’s dick.
You stayed like this for a while, allowing yourself to go slow, really take your time pleasuring yourself. The guy in the video had already finished on the girl’s tits by the time you reached for your rose toy. You didn’t need the visual anymore, perfectly crafting dirty scenarios of your unit chief in your head.
You started on low. There was gentle sucking on your clit as you imagined the way Aaron would kiss. He’s experienced, you know that for sure. You could imagine the way he’d start gentle, maybe even cupping your face as he pulled you close. He’d let you feel like you were in charge, before his tongue made its way inside your mouth. His dominant side would take over, using his body to press you against whatever surface you were sat on.
As you fantasized about his dominant side, you cranked up the toy to the next level. You let out a loud moan at the new feeling. Your free hand moved back to your breast, squeezing, while you did your best to imagine Aaron’s large hands doing it instead.
You could feel the coil in your tummy getting tighter and tighter as you imagined Aaron slowly stripping your body, dragging his hand along each and every curve. With a sharp pinch to your nipple and a cry of Aaron’s name, you came undone all over your rose toy.
You could feel your slick dripping down your hand as you worked yourself through your orgasm, making sure to enjoy it for as long as you could. You wished you could savor this feeling. It was the strongest, best orgasm you’d ever had. Nothing could compare to the euphoria you felt right now.
You flicked the toy off and sat it to the side once the feeling became too much. You couldn’t bring yourself to move from your position. “Fuck,” you breathed out, trying to relax the hard rise and fall of your chest.
Once you were able to relax, you made your way to the shower. You knew you had to call Aaron, but you needed to be much more relaxed than you were right now to have that conversation. The sting from the hot water helped ground you, allowing you to clear your mind. After you cleaned yourself, you cleaned the toy and put everything in your nightstand drawer for future use.
Then, you reached for your cellphone. You quickly found Aaron’s personal number and hit the call button before you could overthink what you were doing. He picked up on the second ring. “Hotchner,” he said, probably out of habit. “Hello, Aaron,” you smiled. This is the conversation you’d had with him in a while that didn’t make you feel nervous. “Hello,” he echoed with your name. You didn’t know, but he was smirking on the other side of the phone. He’d been waiting for this call.
“You sent me a gift?” You asked. “I did. Have you received it?” He wasn’t sure what grew more, his smirk or his cock. “I have. I’ve opened it and took it for a test run as well.” The way you two were beating around the bush was a turn on, but the way he sounded so self-assured, as if he knew what you were going to say, had you clenching your thighs together.
“How did it perform?” Aaron questioned, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table in front of him. This tightened the dress pants he was wearing against his hardened cock. “Very well,” You smiled. “I’m happy to hear that. I hope this is the end of all of your weird behavior.” Aaron chuckles. Just the sound of his laugh has you reaching your hand to squeeze the fat of your thighs.
“What weird behavior, Aaron?” You questioned, teasingly. This conversation is very different than any you’d had before, and it was turning you. You didn’t think it was possible with the strong orgasm you’d maybe an hour ago. But, Aaron was a special individual. He had that effect on you.
“You were avoiding me,” He scoffed. “I don’t know if I was. I think it was self-control,” You smiled, knowing you were baiting him. Without missing a beat, he took the bait, “And why did you need to practice self-control?”
Aaron leaned back in his chair, opting to press his hand against his cock instead of using the soft fabric to provide some kind of friction. He needed more, that much he knew.
“Because I was trying not to jump your bones, Aaron.” You breathed out. Your words had him squeezing his bulge, feeling like he could bust just from knowing you were attracted to him. “Fuck,” Aaron groaned into the phone. You giggled at his reaction, moving to press your hand against your core, again.
“Tell me about your toy,” He demanded, finally using the authoritarian tone that helped you get into this situation in the first time. “So you can touch yourself while I do?” You questioned, assuming he was in the same position as you. “Is that okay?” He questioned. “Of course it is, Aaron.” You promised, and used your permission as an excuse to unbutton his pants, and shove his hand under the waistband of his boxers.
As you started talking, he spread the precum, that’s been oozing from his pretty pink tip since he saw your contact name, along the length of his dick. “It was so good, Aaron. That was the best orgasm I’ve ever had.”
“Yeah?” Aaron encouraged you to keep going as he started stroking his cock. “Yeah,” You whined out, “I wish you could’ve seen me. My legs were shaking and I was leaking so much.” You smirked as you heard him groan in to the phone. His strokes had quickened in length. All he could picture was you spread out on his bed, cumming around his cock.
“What did you think about while you came?” You were surprised he was able to get the question out, especially because he only stuttered once. You wished you could see the way he squeezed his eyes together as he tugged on his cock. “You, obviously. I was thinking about your lips and your hands. I finished before I could get to the good part. I wanted to picture you fucking me from behind, pressing my face into the mattress.”
You were going to continue describing your fantasy to him, but he cut you off with a “Fuck!” as he came down his hands.
The line was silent for a few minutes before you spoke, “Hey, Aaron?” He hummed out a “yeah?”, before you asked, “Do you want to come over?”
“Give me ten minutes,” He promised, “and have the toy out.”
Well, you couldn’t refuse that.
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