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#i want to made a lot of them now! send me quotes
walnutmistjamie · 11 months
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Ted Lasso + text posts (1/?) You're an ugly, ugly boy. With bad hair. Say it. — requested by @catalogercas (quote by @meriamwebsterdicktionary)
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"For particularly important things, it's always more reassuring to write them down like this." - Zhang Beihai
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[ID in alt text]
#my art#three body problem#3 body problem#zhang beihai#三体#章北海#i've been meaning to draw three body problem characters and actually post them on my blog for quite some time!#so if anybody wants me to draw any specific character from the series feel free to reply here or send an ask as a request!#beihai is my top favorite and he resonated with me more than i expected! i rather liked bits of consequentialist philosophical ideas in him#anyways incoming ramble/infodump in the tags about various subjects pertaining to him#all you need to know about me is that i often lurk in chinese language fandom spaces and you might see commonalities in designs#if you see fanartists draw him with the broken eyebrow and mole then that's due to the 我的三体 (my three-body) donghua adaptation!#admittedly i was introduced to the series through that adaptation years ago because it seemed rather absurd (minecraft haha) but oddly good#at least check out the third season (haven't seen the fourth one yet but that's ongoing actually) or listen to 夜航星 (night voyager)#i'm rather curious how fanartists on tumblr might tackle character designs since i mostly see the two live action adaptations here#i want to diverge my designs from any particular adaptation but my beihai design takes a lot from 我的三体!#now about beihai- i really enjoyed his characterization and i'd like to bring up a maybe unintentional parallel and foil with the eto#hopefully that's something new to add to the discussion about zhang beihai and here's what adaptations don't get about mike evans#in the book he's a character you mostly only hear about from others and he's known to be a private person#he conceals a lot of his thoughts from even people like ye wenjie + he taught the trisolarans about deceit#then his strategy to kill luo ji was to keep it low and make it seem like an accident which those obfuscations of thought parallels beihai#then evans says: “but… it's obvious now that everywhere is the same” which is similar to beihai's “it doesn't matter. it's all the same”#the contexts differ but i think they're good foils about human nature “being the same” with evans's quote being about futility#then beihai's was about how regardless of if he survived or not- someone else would be able to carry on with his work#i have many other thoughts about beihai like how chu yan's (captain of blue space) group approach with the voting contrasts beihai#while beihai tried to bear the weight of attacking the other ships in solitude- chu yan made vengeance against trisolaris a group effort#(which that action goes against how the swordholder was a solitary role instead of a group one which is neat to me!)#i'd discuss more but i think that's enough to show that i really love zhang beihai (feel free to discuss the books with me though)
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gay-dorito-dust · 7 months
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Dick loves your plushie collection.
He doesn’t find it embarrassing in the slightest! If anything he finds it more offensive that you’d think it embarrassing having plushies as an adult. After he himself has a plush bunny dressed in his nightwing attire -escrima sticks and all- that he won at an arcade game a while back perched on the top of his bed back home.
He calls it dick jr and cuddles it when he has a rough night of crime fighting.
So he’s the last person to ever cast judgment on your plush collection.
If anything he lets his imagination run wild with them and takes full advantage of them. So if the instance came where you weren’t home, Dick would always send you photos and mini videos of him taking excellent care of a plush hare called Sir John Roderick Wellington the third by tucking him in bed at night, pretending to brush his teeth, etc
Or he’d make enact a photo shoot with a couple of them and send the results to you as your left asking where’d he manage to get all sorts of accessories for them…you’re still awaiting the answer to this day. Another thing he’d do with them is take them with him as company while he’s doing mundane chores in the apartment and act as though the plush is helping him.
You were quick to catch on that Dick having a hell of blast with it with how often he spammed your phone with a plethora of photos and videos that kept you up to date with the daily misadventures of your plushy. And yet you weren’t any better either as you kept them all in a album in your phone and are still wondering why your phone keeps informing you that you are running low on space…
Your favourite picture of your plushy was one where Dick had it tucked in bed, a picture of you on its lap, meanwhile Dick’s face could be seen peaking up from the bottom corner of the screen followed by the caption; ‘he misses you and can’t wait for you to come home and cuddle him. Oh and also me. :(
It’s became your Home Screen now and it was the best decision you’ve been made because it never failed to make you smile even on a bad day.
Jason loves it when you wear his clothes.
It’s free therapy for the man seeing you in his clothes and you can quote me on that.
He fucking loved coming home to see you do your own thing while looking all comfortable and relaxed in his shirts or hoodies doing so. For all Jason could ever want for you was for you to feel comfortable with him however you saw fit.
Also it gives him the more reason to stare at you shamelessly, well more than he did already, but you get the point. Jason is a simple man who’s not above letting it known how much he absolutely adores you.
So you wearing his clothes only added onto that adoration that he had for you. No one else could be more perfect in his eyes then you and he stands by that that statement.
‘You look perfect.’ -Jason
‘Jason, I’m wearing sweats and one of your shirts while eating pizza.’ -you
‘Yeah, perfect.’ -Jason
‘Doofus.’ -you, smiling.
Some days Jason would even go out of his way to leave his clothes on your side of the bed as a hint that he wants you to wear it for the day. Other days however he would be outright and blunt with the fact that he’d rather have you in his clothes than your own at this point.
‘Why are you wearing your clothes?’ - Jason
‘Because they’re my clothes and I feel bad wearing all of yours all the time.’ -you
‘Well I on the other hand don’t, take this shirt and go back into our bedroom and change.’ - Jason says as he takes off the shirt he was wearing and hands it to you, uncaring of the fact that he was shirtless in the living room.
‘You’re being dramatic Jason.’ - you as you take the warm shirt from his hands.
‘No I’m not, I just like you in my clothes a lot better than anything else.’ - Jason said, crossing his arms over his chest.
‘You’re getting jealous over clothes now?’ - you asked, raising a brow.
‘Yes.’ Jason responds instantly. ‘Now for the sake of my sanity go back and put my shirt on please.’
You kiss his cheek before leaving for the bedroom to change. ‘If you insist.’
‘I heavily insist chipmunk.’ - Jason says as he watched you walk away before following after to grab another shirt.
Jason loves it when you’re in his clothes. It’s his greatest strength and his greatest weakness.
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hedgehog-moss · 2 months
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hi! i’ve been following you for years, silently in awe of the bright & fulfilling life you’ve built for yourself, and wishing that i could do the same. in between all the charming stories about pandolf & pampe & pirlouit i’ve been noting all your experiences with fence building and foraging and whatnot, in the hopes of putting them to use one day. and that day is today !! today i head out to spend the first night at my little cabin, a long-abandoned seter from the late 19th century, so right now life will be very much like camping with a roof. a lot of work to be done, and it will be a while before i can support animal friends in addition to myself, but i just wanted to say thank you for sharing your life with us! it’s been an invaluable resource + source of inspiration for me :))
Oh that's amazing!! I'm so happy for you 😊 I wish I could send you a housewarming gift (might I interest you in a gremlin cup?)
Your "camping with a roof" comment reminds me of my first spring & summer here, when there was nothing in my kitchen except a table with a small backpacking stove and I had no means of heating the house so I made a fire in the wood oven at night and had to compete with the cats to sit in the 1 square metre of warmth right next to it. They're good memories too, so I hope you enjoy these early days of getting to know your home and working on it <3
I wish you all the best, and especially that you get to feel the "brooding sense of peace and of possession" described by Kenneth Grahame in this quote about a dream home:
First, there would be a sense of snugness, of cushioned comfort, of home-coming. Next, a gradual awakening to consciousness in a certain little room, very dear and familiar [...]: solitary, the world walled out, but full of a brooding sense of peace and of possession. [...] I was there already, ensconced in the most comfortable chair in the world, the lamp lit, the fire glowing ruddily. [A]lways the same feeling of a home-coming, of the world shut out, of the ideal encasement. On the shelves were a few books—a very few—but just the editions I had sighed for […]. On the walls were a print or two, a woodcut, an etching—not many. […] All was modest [...] but all was my very own, and, what was more, everything in that room was exactly right.
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bubblebbg · 1 year
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would you be able to do a Miguel x f!reader where the reader is a civilian who's the sunshine to his grumpy? She's pretty much the definition of the quote "the violence it took to be this kind". She had an abusive childhood, and unfortunately she's currently up in an abusive relationship, she tries really hard to hide her pain with warmth and laughter, hiding her bruises with long sleeves in the summer and concealer.
This is my first request, I'm so happy! I wasn't really comfortable writing the physical abuse part (I don't want to misrepresent this issue) , so I've made it to where the reader is in an unhappy relationship instead. I hope this is along the lines of what you wanted. :)
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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞.
Miguel O'Hara x reader
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To him, you're one of those people that deserves better, deserves the best. Today especially, that's what you should be getting. If Miguel could, he'd hand you worlds on a silver platter. But he can't. Not with your boyfriend around to stop him.
Part 2
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"Your boyfriend is the biggest asshole I've ever met. Come on, you have to know this by now." Miguel has pulled you to the balcony of your apartment and away from the music and festivities, his jaw clenched with anger as he seethes. He's never liked your boyfriend; there's you, the sweet, kind woman who's always considerate, endlessly patient, practically saintly in nature. And then there's your boyfriend, some scum of the earth who's only ever been callous and cold during your interactions. Miguel has tried and tried and tried to keep his mouth shut about it, but the way your smile faltered as you explained that he couldn't take off work to be at your birthday party is his last straw. "Seriously, today of all day's he has to work? Say the word and I'm sending that douchebag flying through a wall-"
"Miguel, stop it. It's fine, he's just a busy guy you know? And I'm sure you throw enough people around already." You chuckle, but the sadness doesn't quite leave your eyes. You sip some of the champagne in your glass, sighing as you let the alcohol numb some of your senses. Looking out at the cityscape, arms folded on the railing. He really wishes you knew how much you deserve, and the selfish part of him wants to be the one to give that to you.
When you catch him staring at you, at the way the lights of the city glow on your face, he turns forward, sighing and running a hand through his hair. "I just don't get it is all. You could have anyone you wanted, why him? Hell, you're better off alone than with him. If I could make the decisions for you, he would've been gone a long time ago."
You step closer to him and rest your head on his shoulder, eyes closed and the champagne drained from your glass. "I know you're concerned about me, but in the end these decisions are mine to make. I'll talk to him after the party. Until then, how's everything at work? Still got a lot on your hands?"
A smile plays at his lips, feeling a bit warm from the touch. "Hey, don't go changing the subject on me. We need to talk about this."
"You change the subject on me all of the time! Humor me on my birthday, please." He rolls his eyes because he can't believe that you'd play the birthday card on him, but he also knows he can never say no to you. Not with the way you look at him. So he puts an arm around your shoulders and lets a breath out his nose.
"Still stressful, but not so bad. I guess your whole 'have meetings to help people with their mission strategy instead of just yelling at them' plan has been working." You laugh at that, eyes crinkling as you lean more into him. You look good like this, the cheery person you usually are, not the one being let down by their partner. "See? And how hard was that? If I had spider powers like you, I'd be the ultimate diplomatic leader and badass." He can't stop the laughter that bubbles up in his chest when you punch and kick the air to emphasize your badassery.
"Your form is terrible," he smirks, "You'd be dead in seconds."
"And if it weren't for me, every spider ever would have quit because of your nagging."
"Right, right, whatever makes you feel better, civilian."
This is how it's supposed to be, the way it was before you decided to date this guy. It was always you and Miguel before: him carrying all of your grocery bags as you raved about some new hobby, you and him on the roof of your apartment building, him pointing out flaws in a movie at the theater while you ate all the popcorn, him begrudgingly pushing you on a park swing despite his assertations that you were in fact too old to still do this. It hits him all at once. He's missed you. Your absence leaves gaps in his life that no one else can fill.
"Hey," he mumbles, "I know you said you didn't want any gifts, but I got you something. Happy birthday."
Your eyes widen as he timidly hands you a rectangular box, his gaze turned to the city and a light blush on his face. He watches through the corner of his eyes as you open it. Inside is a silver necklace with a lily-of-the-valley preserved in resin, the flower you told him about that grew around your childhood home. Your palm comes to cover your mouth and tears well up in your eyes at the considerate nature of his gift. (That's Miguel, always remembering the details of things you say. When was the last time your boyfriend did that again?) Miguel turns to face you with an anxious expression. "Do you not like it? I left the receipt in there, you can return it and use the money on-"
"No, no, no, it's beautiful," you smile, turning and lifting the hair from your neck, "Could you please put it on me?"
He sighs in relief, taking the necklace and clasping it gently around your neck. As soon as he's done you jump into his arms with a delighted giggle, beaming with joy. He lets himself hug you back for a few more seconds before setting you down. Seeing you like this has his heart racing as he's filled with the courage to say it, to tell you what you mean to him. He opens his mouth to speak and -
Someone shouts through the sliding doors of the balcony, "Hey, where have you been? Get inside, your boyfriend just got here!"
And just like that, the courage is gone, his mouth closing to a slight frown. As he's preparing to go back in and stomach the sight of you with that man, he sees you climbing the steps of the fire escape and stops at the door.
"What are you doing?"
You stop, turning to look at him with the breeze at your back and the moon shining on you. You offer your hand to him.
"Come on, let's go. We can sit on the rooftop like we used to."
He pauses, taking a look at the party inside. Then he takes your hand and you're leading him up like you used to, and everything that was out of place in him shifts back to fit. He smiles at how small and smooth your hand is in his larger, rough one. Yeah, he thinks.
This is how it's meant to be.
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hunn1e-bunn1e · 2 months
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Hello~ Hello~
I saw your Nu: Carnival - Bliss masterlist and I couldn't help but want to send you a request for it. May I have Eiden find another clan member (male reader), an ancient gem dragon alive long before Huey was? He doesn't like humans and prefers to stay up in his mountain cave and when he talks about Huey he calls him ""that foolish bastard"". I don't think the male reader would be a tsundere, but a lonely person with a lot of pain and loneliness from the past; so, a much more mature Edmond. This post doesn't have to have smut or be suggestive if you want it to be.
🍁Maple Anon
Eiden (+ Aster, Morvay, Quincy & Kuya) - Cold  Gem Dragon Male Reader 
🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.
Hey 🍁Maple Anon, I don't know how, but this turned into a lesson in dragon anatomy around the halfway point and is probably not what you wanted, but I added extra bullet points as well as a few more characters to remedy that! The lyrics quoted in this one are from the song “Gold” by Jeff Williams. —Benny🐰
Warnings –> Dragon Dong Anatomy, Eiden, Kuya & Morvay Are Warnings In Themselves, Sexual Situations, [Name] Is Lowkey Prejudiced Against Humanity, Eiden is Horny as Usual, Quincy is Now a Unit of Measurement, Benny forgot how headcanons work
                                                                                                   
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💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎•♡•💎
❝𝕯𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖞 𝖆𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖆𝖗𝖐; 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖚𝖕 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖓𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝖎𝖓 𝖒𝖞 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙-- 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖇𝖚𝖗𝖓 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖓; 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖐𝖊𝖊𝖕 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖘𝖆𝖋𝖊 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖒~❞
. . .
First, lets do some exposition!
𖢻  I imagine that [Name] was a part of the original clan members of Huey's; except the dragon wasn't exactly an official member per se. Maybe Huey wanted him to join, but he's literally an ancient dragon, and if said ancient dragon says ‘no’, it's best to just leave it at that. Also, with the mention of [Name] being a gem dragon; it made me think of a scenario where Huey actually got his neon gemstone from [Name]. Maybe Huey wanted to test his strength against a legendary dragon and ended up only being able to knock loose a tiny sliver of the reptile's gem claw.
𖢻  I would think that Huey pulling up to [Name]’s humble mountain cave and trying to run the hands with him would probably add to the dislike of humans too. But, most likely, after the ‘fight', Huey would get tired and rest outside of the cave for a few days, conversing with [Name], and the dragon began to get used to his presence. Huey would probably flaunt his ‘victory’ in the form of making a necklace of the sliver of [Name]’s claw, which would annoy the ancient reptile, but the dragon would teach his newfound companion how to harness the gem's essence. But eventually… Huey's visits to his mountain cave would abruptly stop.
Now, onto the present, when Eiden arrives!
𖢻  Eiden probably met [Name] after everyone else, since the dragon isn't an official clan member. It'd probably be on their way back to Aster's mansion that someone, likely Morvay, would ask the vampire how [Name] had been. To which Eiden would then ask them who that was since he hadn't heard of anyone by that name during the entirety of his stay in Klein. This, the group, consisting of  Eiden, Aster, Morvay, Quincy, and Kuya –since the rest declined to go with in favor of heading back to rest after a long journey– took a detour and scaled up the great mountain of Chalcedony (I couldn't think of anything else) to visit the dragon.
𖢻  Eiden's first meeting with [Name] wouldn't be all that positive, with the dragon both disliking humans and having grown some resentment toward Huey. However, with Eiden being himself, he'd probably just catch on that the dragon was lonely and was pushing people away to protect himself, so Eiden convinced the others to allow him to stay in the dragon's care for a little while to soften the reptile's walls.
𖢻  The relationship between both of them from that point on can be described as a confused and exasperated husband with his headstrong and prideful wife who's a bit mean. [Name] taught Eiden to harness and control the essence in the neon gemstone (which is probably just tourmaline, if I'm being honest); the poor guy got a good handful of glares and head smacks whenever he fooled around too much. [Name] probably calls Eiden a fool or ‘young human’ most times, only rarely calling him by his actual name, as he saves that for more intimate situations.
Speaking of intimate situations...
𖢻  Let's get into [Name]’s assets~ The ancient dragon has two very large horns that curved behind his head in almost a horizontal ‘S’ shape. They are made of the same glowing rainbow gemstone as the one hanging from Eiden's neck and make for a very good stabilizer if you reach out and grab them like handles. While they aren't an erogenous zone, if you tug on them, they do hurt a bit and I imagine that [Name] is probably a masochist. Going a bit farther down we have his thick tail and two dicks– yes, that's right, we're following that trope on this one. [Name]'s tail is quite long and incredibly strong as well. It can support several heavy objects and 15 Quincys, even more than that if he's in his true form.
𖢻  Onto the pp! [Name]’s members both rest inside of a somewhat small internal sleeve when they're not at full mast. The inside of the sleeve is incredibly sensitive, with the walls being made of thin and smooth, spongy flesh, with an organ located near the back that secretes a sticky, lubricating slick that makes it easier for both members to slide in and out. The sleeve's entrance– or rather, the exit, is a simple vertical slit situated just a few inches above where a human man's schlong would be. When flaccid, [Name]’s dicks are about 2-3 inches long with a circumference of 1 inch, allowing them to rest in the sleeve without issue. But when aroused they grow to about 9-10 inches long with a circumference of 4.5 inches. They have a thin and tapered tip and various bumps and ridges along the underside and are a nice reddish pink in color.
Anyway–! Let's get back on track!
𖢻  Eiden, of course, finds [Name] super hot, but also incredibly intimidating; considering the dragon tried to kill him when he first noticed the gemstone hanging from the brunette's neck. But, after a week of spending time together in [Name]’s cave, Eiden managed to soften the ancient reptile up. Now, the world hopper sets aside a day every week to visit his favorite handsome dragon; letting the horned man train him to be stronger so that he doesn't have to rely so heavily on everyone else. That's not to say that the two don't spend time together doing other things as well though. Oftentimes, Eiden will pester [Name] about giving him a ride on his back because ‘he's never ridden a dragon before’; the audacity.
𖢻  Though… that request for 'a ride’ usually devolves into a steamy session of the sexy dragon hopping up and down on his favorite human's dick. He won't let poor Eiden cum for hours on end; stopping whenever the man gets close to punish him for his insolence. Rest in peace to Eiden's pp. We'll be holding a candlelight vigil later today in its honor.
𖢻  Aster, bless his greedy heart, always tries to convince [Name] to come to his mansion and stay for a while. The vampire both wants to brag to other nobles that he knows the great tyrant of the mountain and also just wants an old friend to visit his home and stay for a bit so that they can catch up. The two had been ‘apart’ for some time –despite Aster hypnotizing a few people to send [Name] letters every month– and the little vampire had missed him dearly. He also just wanted his favorite mannequin to come back…
𖢻  Morvay and [Name] have a strange relationship. Oftentimes, when the incubus had grown to find his regular meals less filling, he would pay a visit to his favorite dragon for a full-course meal that'd last him a whole week! However, when the insatiable familiar has had his fill, the two just cuddle and talk about how they have been since they saw each other last. Morvay fills the ancient beast in on all the details his empty little head can remember, and [Name] says the same thing as he usually did: ‘It was uneventful’. It's a nice little routine the two have and they prefer it that way.
𖢻  Quincy is surprisingly not despised by [Name] despite his status as a human. The two have only interacted twice in the past; the first being when Huey brought him by the horned man's cave after weeks of begging and the second being when [Name] made the spontaneous decision to leave his cave and take a walk around the forest for a while. Both meetings weren't too bad; the two men really just stared at each other in silence the entire time; not being bothered to talk at all. [Name] finds the tall blonde to be a comforting presence– Topper's cuteness helps as well.
𖢻  Kuya… is himself. He and the old man in the mountain had actually never met before Eiden brought him and the others with him to meet [Name]. However, the sly fox was incredibly intrigued by the dragon and paid several visits to the cave after the initial one. Kuya loves reclining against a boulder and listening as the other recounts memories of a time that the yokai hadn't even been alive for. It was quite relaxing and even more interesting than those illusion cards that the young master had tricked him with.
. . .
❝𝕷𝖎𝖐𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖒𝖊𝖑𝖑 𝖔𝖋 𝖆 𝖗𝖔𝖘𝖊 𝖔𝖓 𝖆 𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖊𝖗'𝖘 𝖉𝖆𝖞; 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖇𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖙𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖋𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖘 𝖆𝖜𝖆𝖞-- 𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖙𝖔𝖚𝖈𝖍 𝖔𝖋 𝖒𝖞 𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖓 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖑𝖎𝖋𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖌𝖔𝖑𝖉~❞
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🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.
Reblogs are appreciated ~ 𔓘
Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!
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justkending · 4 months
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Mr. & Mrs. Hunt (Chapter 5/7)
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Mini-Series Summary: Two of the most stubborn people in the group partnered together for an undercover mission are also the two people with the most hatred for each other, so what could go wrong? Or is it, what COULDN’T go wrong?…
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger Reader (Enemies to Lovers) (Fake Marriage Trope)
A/N: I think we are staying on track for this to wrap up within two more chapters, but again, we are both in the dark if that's the case😂 Thank you guys for the love! If you are wanting to be tagged, please send me an ask. It's a lot easier for me to keep track of who's been added and who hasn't :)
_________
Y/N’s POV:
Okay, so maybe I blew up a little more than necessary, but I tried to chill out before he started chasing me, ordering that I didn’t walk away and talk to him. Let a girl try to get a hold of her emotions for a second big guy.
I’ve been anxious all day, waiting to talk to him about some deep seeded trauma, and then he comes and screws up all of it with a simple exception to an invitation. I know he didn’t mean harm by it, but he’s a trained professional. That was not a trained professional response. Plus, stepping out of my normal routine of being a bitch to him to keep him at a distance wasn’t just a switch I could flip.
Again, I could have handled that better, but now my brain is in mission mode, trying to reprogram what this night has set up for us. Considering the invitation was for tonight, it gave me little to no time to prepare.
“What time did she say dinner was?” I shouted from my bedroom, where I was going through our small, hidden arsenal of gadgets Tony had made for us.
“Six,” Bucky replied from his room down the hall.
Great, that was forty-five minutes from now… “Ok, I can do this.” Deciding it was best to keep some bugs on hand in case we could plant them in the house, and we would be planting them, I needed to consider sizes and placements.
“Should we bring over some wine or something?” Bucky’s voice was now in the doorway to my room, but I kept my back to him as I sifted through our tools.
“I made a pie earlier today. We can take that,” I answered absentmindedly.
“Why’d you make a pie?”
“Felt like it,” I shrugged and walked out of the closet with three small wires/ bugs in hand. When I looked up, I saw he had changed into a nicer button-up and was tightening a tie around his collar he hadn't been wearing earlier. “Why are you wearing a tie?” I examined him.
“Same reason you’re wearing a nicer dress. I want to make a good impression,” he shrugged, straightening pieces of his outfit.
“I’m wearing this because we were going to our ‘anniversary dinner,’” I made sure to put the lie in hand quotes. “I had a story that went with it, but this can pass as casual, too,” I motioned to my dress and moved toward him, placing the wires on the bed. “This looks like you’re about to give a sales pitch.”
Without thinking, I pop his collar up and loosen the tie to get rid of it. The whole time I’m focusing on untying it, I ramble about what the plan is for the night.
“I’m going to give you a wire to put wherever you see fit, and I’ll do the other two. I’ll excuse myself to use the bathroom and sneak it where it’s needed. I feel it’s important we look for cameras already in the house in case it’s a setup. We don’t need them having hard proof that we bugged their place. We want to come off as simple yet good assets if we want them to bring us on board for their work,” I struggle with a certain spot on the tie he somehow fixed in an efficient way I’d never seen. “Jesus, were you a sailor in another life? Might as well have knotted it.”
He doesn’t respond, but I get it off in the next two seconds and look at him to see he had been studying me intently as I invaded his space. I see my slip-up, push the tie into his chest, and take a step back.
“Sorry.”
“No problem,” he answers rather calmly, and I look at his eyes, seeing patience there. Always that damn patience. How did he still have it with me even with how I’ve treated him? “Listen-”
“About last night,” I say at the same time, and he seems shocked but gives a single nod to tell me to continue. “I want to say I’m sorry for being all over the place recently. From last night to thirty minutes ago.”
He seems frozen by my apology, and I became anxious enough that I start to word vomit.
“I took some time to think after last night and spent the day stressing, thinking how I was going to talk to you about it because I do want to. I want to get what I can out on the table if you’d be ok with that,” I look up through my lashes, and I see the most subtle turn of his lip as he watches me attentively.
“Are you hinting that there’s a chance I’ll get to see the side of you others are lucky enough to see?” he retorts, grin growing and taking a step closer to me.
His use of the word ‘lucky’ shortcircuits my brain, and all I can do is nod once, slowly, as my answer. He takes another step, and I match it with one back. I feel more vulnrable than I was expecting to.
“You can understand now why having our plans for the night changed made me slightly temperamental.”
“I think slightly may be an understatement.”
“I think you still should choose your words carefully,” I say, tightening my smile. However, it doesn’t shut him down like normal. Instead, he laughs under his breath, and the doorbell rings.
Both of our heads shoot toward the noise, and solemnity takes over the room.
“You don’t think that’s,” Bucky pauses as he turns back to me.
“How often am I wrong?” I take a deep breath in and smooth my dress out as I walk over, pausing beside him. “Hide the wires. I already did a sweep of the house while you were getting ready to make sure we didn’t have anything out of place. I’ll tell them you’re getting ready.”
I don’t need to open the door to know who it is, but when I do, the urge to yell, “I told you so!” in Bucky’s face is strong.
“Bethanne!” I smile kindly and immediately notice the dish in her hand. Reggie is behind her, holding two others, looking like he just got off work and had been dragged over here. “Did Beau tell me wrong? Are we not eating at y’all’s house tonight?”
She scrunches her face in a practiced motion and lifts the ceramic bowl up as she explains.
“I hate to ask this of you, but our oven is still the old rickety one. The new one had some faulty design, and we had to ship it back. Needless to say, it decided to give out on us today of all days,” she raised her shoulders. “I know we sprung the dinner on you suddenly, but would you two be willing to host if we provide the food?”
Not on the money of what I guessed, but pretty fucking close to the money if you ask me.
“Who is it, Doll?” Bucky’s voice carries from the hallway he’s now emerging from. The first three buttons on his dress shirt are undone, and he’s messing with the cuffs on the sleeves. “Hey, Bauers,” he smiles yet still holds shock in his features by the neighbor's appearance. “Did we get the time wrong?” he asks, looking at his watch before coming to my side, where I've now moved and am letting themselves in.
“No, no, no,” Bethanne shakes her head and hands off one of the pots to me as she takes one from Reggie, who looks more bothered to be here than happy. Long day human trafficking, asshole? “We had some appliance issues thanks to some of the renovations we were doing. I was just asking your wife if we can use your house as tonight's setting and possibly use your oven while here.”
Without hesitance, Bucky takes the dish from my hands and the dish Bethanne had swapped for and nods for Reggie to follow him.
“No problem at all. Let me help you ladies with that. Char," A nickname he had never used for my character before, but it seemed to work fluently. "Would you like to get some wine for the two of you while I get this organized in the kitchen?” he asks me, placing a kiss on the side of my head while his hands are full as he walks towards the other room.
I don’t know how he’s learned to play his role so well, but it’s convincing, even to me.
“Uh, yeah,” I almost stutter in my response as I motion for Bethanne to follow me to the wine cooler out in the garage. “Red or white with tonight's dish?”
"Do you have any more husbands like that in the back I can steal? What a gentleman," she coos, shoulder-bumping me.
___________
Half an hour of baking the food and getting it plated, and our conversation continued with questions mostly strictly about us, which would have been fine if not for the reason behind such invasive intentions.
They started off simple. How’d you guys meet? Who made the first move? What did we love about the town so far? What kind of hobbies and adventures did we take on before moving here? All questions we had prepared for, and if not, could easily improvise.
So far. No slip-ups. If anything, we sold the scheme far better than I’d imagined we would even when they became more personal. And our discussion on being the ‘prude couple’ last night seemed to affect Bucky’s actions a lot more than I was expecting.
An obvious hand on my thigh under the table and an arm thrown over my seat in a slightly possessive manner seemed to catch the eye of Reggie, who mimicked some of the moves as if it were a competition.
In addition, Bucky kept making small compliments about how I looked and how smart I was when they asked about my job. Dropping little comments about things I did (not my character) that he loved and appreciated.
“She’s always doing things like that. I almost never have to worry about making coffee in the morning because she has it all set up just to hit a button and go.”
“You should ask Charlotte about that! She’s the reason our house looks like a home. I’m sure she could give some advice on the kitchen backsplash.”
“She may not know how to boil an egg correctly, but her baking skills are unmatched. I've put on a few pounds now that we have a nice kitchen to spend time in."
I did my best not to act shocked every time he dropped a compliment, but the fact he could have made shit up for my character and used those details as conversation pieces, yet he went the honest way (although more convincing, of course), shocked me.
“Speaking of baking skills,” Reggie nodded his head back to the kitchen counter behind us and smiled at me. “I spied a pie on the counter. Any chance we can have that to finish off this dinner?”
I was still staring at Bucky from his last form of appreciation when I blinked out of my distraction and returned to our neighbor.
“Oh, of course! I was just about to offer,” I smiled, standing up, and Bucky quickly stood next to me, pulling my chair out. “Thank you.” I smiled at him and placed a hand on his arm as I moved around to the counter.
“How sweet. Oh, Charlotte, would you mind telling me where the bathroom is?” Bethanne asked, standing and giving her husband a look for not showing the same chivalry as Bucky.
I watched her, knowing that I would have used the same excuse to do what we planned to at their house. But I was two steps ahead of her.
“Of course! Beau, do me a favor and get some plates out for dessert. I’m going to show Beth-”
“Oh, I’m sure I can find it,” she waved off, coming around the table and moving to the hall promptly.
Yeah… Not without a chauffeur, honey.
“No problem,” I waved off, moving with her casually. “I need to grab some floss from my bathroom before dessert. I’ll show you to it.”
I can see the most subtle glaze of annoyance at my insistence, but she smiles and walks a step ahead of me.
I show her to the bathroom and make it seem I’m going into the master down the hall while she’s in there. And I do, but I keep an eye to make sure she isn’t snooping in any other room besides the one. We’ll have to survey it after they leave, but better that and the dining room than the whole house.
Once we’re back with the boys, no wandering to be done, Bucky helps me plate a slice of chocolate pie for each of us, and I offer to move the conversation to the porch. Any kind of redirection from the comfort of the inside of our home is welcome.
“I love how you’ve decorated your porch. It’s so cozy,” Bethanne notices, pointing out the colorful decorative pillows, hanging swing the size of a daybed, and loads of plants and decor that make the space more intimate. She and Reggie are sat on the two rocking chairs facing the front yard, and Bucky and I are sat close together on the swing, where he’s controlling the tempo we sway in.
“I always wanted a spot outside to escape. We didn’t really have that at our last home, and it was important for me to have this time around,” I replied.
My answer is actually very true. I loved being outside, especially when it was something as simple as sitting in the backyard or swinging on a porch. I had one requirement about this mission, one I’m not even sure Bucky knew about. But I asked Tony to supply a nice budget for the porch.
Call it cheesy, but growing up in such an unnatural and dehumanizing way, you crave a small part of that normalcy you see on the movie screens. For some reason, a porch I could escape on but still be within the comfort of my own home was a dream. And because it was, I thought I’d make this situation a little more bearable by granting that small wish I always had.
“Well, I may have to start budgeting for a new kind of renovation,” she patted Reggie’s back, and he gave her a tight-lip smile. "What do you say, Reg? Do you think we can get a swing like that one?” She smiled over at us just as Bucky pulled me into his side, his arm going around my waist and his hand resting on my hip bone.
“I have a feeling we might as well have built a home from scratch by the time you’re happy with the renovations we’ve taken on,” Reggie answered with a nod before taking a swig from his beer. “Get that recipe for the pie from Charlotte, and I’ll consider buying you a new porch,” he winked my way and turned back to the front of our lawn.
I instantly found Bucky’s hand tightening, and his thumb started rubbing in an up-and-down pattern along my hip. When I turned to him slightly, his gaze stayed on Reggie.
Before finishing cleaning up for the night, we said goodbye to our guests, and just when we thought we hadn’t made any headway in our conversation about work (mind you, we had dropped hints and notices about it all night, but neither of the two seemed to take the bait), Reggie stopped on the last step to our porch and turned to Bucky.
“You mentioned working in transportation, and by the sounds of your new job up here, if you’re interested in a more innovative place, I may have some ins for you,” he shook Bucky’s hand. “I have some coworkers around the states that could use some employees like you on their route.”
“I may take you up on that offer. It all depends on how this week rolls out,” Bucky answered perfectly. The Bauers said their goodbyes, and we watched them walk home before turning to each other.
In a silent celebration, we grinned at the invitation and then sent wordless glances to tread carefully when we got in before scoping the place for bugs…
_______________
Bucky’s POV:
I’m not surprised that the blonde sole cycle instructor of a neighbor was able to get a wire in our bathroom, but neither Y/N nor I were in the mood to remove it right away and give away our knowledge of it, so we each grabbed another drink for the night and debriefed subtly on the porch where the only bugs we had to mind were the crickets chirping their music for the night.
Bethanne was right. Our porch was nicely done, and I hadn’t even noticed Y/N had hung lights out here until she plugged them in.
“I feel like this spot is more put together than the rest of the house.” I noticed the details when we were out here earlier. Now, we both have taken up spots in the rocking chairs our neighbors had vacated.
“I may have focused more of my attention on this spot than the others,” she smiled as she brought a tumbler glass up to her lips. She had drank wine while Bethanne was here, but as soon as they were gone, the whiskey I had made a glass for myself was stolen out of my hand before I could take a sip. Now, we had each of our own.
“Was what you said about the porch a real thing? I mean, we have balconies at the compound,” I looked at her as I sat my drink on the small table between us.
“Balconies and porches aren’t the same. At least in my head, they aren’t,” she nodded, taking a deep sigh and resting her glass in her lap. “Did you mean what you said when you were complimenting me all night?” She lulled her head to the side to look at me.
I had been making compliments. It felt easier to use the ones I had picked up on than the ones I made up. Yet again, I think anyone should get the recognition they deserve when they excel in something. Y/N just tended to excel in more than I think she was aware of. And I was learning she didn’t seem to be used to people taking note of those things.
“Why lie?” I shrugged, starting to rock in a steady pattern.
“Because that’s this whole gig. A lie,” she answered, taking another pull of the hard liquor.
I considered her perspective and shook my head, looking out to the lights on the other side of the street. “I guess it gets tiring at points. Don’t really feel like doing it if the truth can be just as usable.”
She didn’t answer for quite a few seconds, and when I turned back to her, she was staring at me like she was waiting for another shoe to drop.
“How are you so patient? Seriously, is it a drug Tony made you before you had to deal with me on this mission? I don’t get it,” she laughs, but I can hear the genuine confusion in it as she sits forward and turns her body to me.
Honesty. I’m in a mood to be 100% honest.
“Want me to be real with you?” I asked, turning my own body.
“It’d be preferred,” she nods and rests both her arms on the armrest.
“I don’t know anything about your past, but I know most people have a reason for acting the way they do. It took years and a ton of patience before I felt like I was even close to who I used to be. I still struggle to come to terms with the fact I’ll never be who I was before the train incident,” I sigh and rest my head back against the chair as I look at her. “I guess I have understanding more than patience. I understand that you have a history of your own that I don’t know, and I can’t blame you for a lot of the things you do.”
“But you should. I’m an asshole to you,” she says, and the admission is kinda nice to hear, even if it is sad.
“Yeah, and I was hoping you’d be willing to share why that is,” I reply calmly.
She tenses some and sits back in her chair, pulling her legs under her to sit crisscrossed, the chair rocking with her movement and her dress overflowing past her knees.
“I guess now is as good a time as ever…” She looked at me sidelong before finding comfort in the view in front of her instead. “I didn’t really have a chance to develop a personality of my own because of my time in this lifestyle,” she motions around her, “started as soon as I could walk. So I had no identity to fall back on since I had to find it after I escaped.”
I had questions, but I found it best just to listen. Clearly, what she was talking about wasn’t something she brought up lightly, and being an ear to listen was what she needed right now.
“I was left behind by whichever no-good parent gave me up, and Adonis Hummel took me as his own and decided he’d try to recreate the famous assassin, The Winter Solider, from birth practically.”
The name drop came quickly and struck home. I didn’t know her whole story, but I had enough imagination and experience to believe where she was going.
“Wait, Hummel?” I started because the name sounded familiar, but…
“He was a low-level scientist who worked for Hydra when they were still using you under Pierce. He thought he had the brains and resources to create his own version of you. A version that would be more undetectable as a woman and a version he could tweak however he wanted,” she rolled her shoulders. “Lucky for him, I didn’t have to be brainwashed since I knew nothing besides the life of abuse, experimentation, and a shit ton of conditioning... " 
"To clarify, I say that for context, not sympathy,” she straightened, and I could see her shifting back to her unbothered disposition, but the truth was shining through the cracks. She may not have wanted sympathy, but something about the vulnerability seemed to lighten the load on her shoulders.
“As for why I may have built a wall around you, an unhealthy and senile wall, I felt as though…” She gulped as if the next part was harder for her to say than the abuse of her past. “I felt as though you had been my competition my whole life, and a part of me, a young and in-need-of-therapy part of me, thought it was best to keep you as far away as possible and hold onto that anger instead of work through it. It felt easier than facing the fear that I didn’t actually equate to you in any way. So that’s another reason why I felt everything with you was to prove a point.” She lets out a short breath after using all the air in her lungs in one swift swoop.
I-
It’s a lot to take in…
She doesn’t move her head back towards me after her confession, and I can’t seem to break my stare from her.
“This is where you say something like, ‘Well, it’s your lucky day. I’m actually an asshole either way, so we can go on hating each other for completely understandable reasons!’ or I don’t know? Anything but silence would be preferred, though…”
Her hand is gripping the arm rest unconsciously like an anchor keeping her on earth.
On instinct, I reach across and pull her hand into mine, keeping my stare heavy, enticing her to look at me.
She closes her eyes at first and takes another short breath before turning.
“I’m sorry if I ever made you feel unworthy of being on the team.” I feel like I personally am the reason for her suffering, even if I had no correlation with her before I joined the team. "You are more than an asset to the team and are your own kind of weapon. It's incomparable."
“Ugh,” she sniffles and rubs an eye with the heel of her free hand as if to disguise a possible tear as allergies. “This would be so much easier if you were a piece of shit misogynistic asshole, but you're part of the few good ones out there. Steve, Sam, and Clint included, not Tony,” she noted.
I smiled, thinking about how I’d make a team like that even if she had me believe otherwise for so long.
“What I’m trying to get at, B, is you’re not the one I should be blaming for my past. You’re just as much a victim as I am, but I took the easy way out of making it more manageable for me, and I only made it harder for us both in the end. And for that,” she turned and stared into my eyes fully, the hand she held squeezing my own. “I’m sorry. You don’t deserve an ounce of the kind of cruelness I tried to bury you in. You are the opposite of what they tried to make you, and you’re genuine in proving that to anyone who meets you. I've been envious of the strength you have, and I can say confidently that I deeply regret ever blaming you for that.”
I once again have to process yet another collection of words I’d never thought I hear. From her. Ever. A part of me believed this was a dream, but the part that Y/N had a grip on was practically pinching me into reality.
Without hesitating, I stood up, pulled her arm up with me, and yanked her into my body in a crushing hug.
She froze at first… The motion was quick and surprising, but slowly, she unhooked our hands, brought both of hers tightly around my waist, and laid into me. I rested my head on top of hers and pulled her shoulders in with my arms, wrapping both of my own tightly around her.
I wasn’t going to let go until she did, and by the looks of it… She wasn’t letting go anytime soon.
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dev-solovey · 11 months
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Reading up on the history of American Idiot (album) and realizing exactly how revolutionary it was and I just have to yell about it for a hot second
So, before they started working on American Idiot, the band was having problems and they were thinking they were going to break up. But for a couple of reasons, they switched directions, most notably because they all felt strongly about the Iraq War and how it was manufactured by greed and warmongering from the Bush administration, which was amplified by the news media. I read a quote from Billie Joe Armstrong where he talked about how the news media was becoming "more of a reality show" than it was news, and he couldn't have been more right. In fact, that problem got worse, and now we're living in an era of rampant misinformation where everything is politicized to a point where just supporting human rights for marginalized people is considered controversial. The song American Idiot came out in 2004, and when Donald Trump first visited the UK at the beginning of his presidency, it was the top played song on every UK radio station, 12 years after it was released. Most things would be culturally irrelevant at that point.
When creating the album American Idiot, a lot of thought went into it - they had a very specific message in mind, and their goal was to send that message to youth. This is because they realized at some point that their fanbase was a bunch of teenagers, and even though they hadn't necessarily intended it that way, they suddenly had a platform with the youth of America and they decided they ought to do something good with it. The drummer, Tré Cool, said something along the lines of "I've never really liked the idea of preaching to kids, but I realized we don't really have a choice at this point." And I love that so much because like, so many people who get rich and famous just become completely out of touch, and when they get a platform, it's very easy to exploit that platform, influence them with terrible ideas, or encourage them to act in terrible ways for self-serving reasons (ex: JK Rowling, Andrew Tate, Dream, Logan Paul, Onision, etc etc). Green Day refused to allow themselves to get to that point. They know the platform they had gave them power and they made an active choice early on to be responsible with it. And a lot of that moral code comes from the fact that they came up in the DIY punk scene in Oakland, which held its members to a very high standard of ethics, a code that they still follow even after they were disowned by that scene when they signed on with a major record label in 1994.
The song American Idiot has a message of "this mass media hysteria is manufactured bullshit, don't fall for it," and it is not subtle about that message. It punches you right in the face. I remember being 12 years old and listening to it and thinking, "yeah, I don't want to be an American idiot." And now, at the age of 28, I am a staunch leftist who is firmly against the atrocities the US government commits, and I feel strongly about stopping misinformation. So I can say with absolute certainty that they succeeded.
I also get like, really upset when people say that American Idiot is the album where they sold out, because that's objectively not true, both for the reasons I've provided above, and also because of the song Wake Me Up When September Ends. Not a lot of people know the story behind this song, but it's actually a song that Billie Joe wrote about the experience of his dad dying of cancer when he was 10 years old. The story, as he tells it, is that when he came home from school, his mom gave him the news, and being (understandably!) upset, started crying, ran to his room and slammed the door. When she knocked on the door to try and talk to him, he shouted "wake me up when September ends!!" in response. It took him decades to be able to write this song, and it shows because it's the perfect grief song, having been played at benefits for 9/11, hurricane Katrina, and so on. The first time I heard that song it reduced me to tears, because you can hear the intense sadness in it. A "sellout" would never write a song like that!! (Side note: maybe stop tweeting at Green Day to wake up every October 1st, it's super tone deaf given the subject matter,,,)
Anyway, I think I'm done being autistic about Green Day (that's a lie, they'll forever be my special interest), so TL;DR:
Thank you, Green Day, for creating a generation of leftists who aren't about the bullshit
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jadeylovesmarvelxo · 5 months
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Back to You 💌
You and Eddie used to be friends, the best of friends since meeting during childhood. Now your friendship is in tatters and Eddie hates you? Right?
Enemies to lovers fic, childhood friends, idiots in love, protective Eddie, minors shoo.
Eddie Munson x Reader
Brief Billy Hargrove x Reader
If you have any requests send me an ask 💌 make sure to read my request rules on my pinned post 💞 💌
🎀
You remembered the day you and Eddie stopped speaking like it was yesterday.
Exactly a year ago you auditioned for the cheerleading squad and made the team, you were so excited and rushed to tell Eddie.
He was actually supportive of you joining the squad but the thing he didn't like was your new friends. They thought Eddie was a freak and Eddie hated the lot of them with a passion.
No matter how you tried to make it work the distance grew between you both and culminated in a final argument that the two of you never recovered from.
It was now your senior year and the bond between you and Eddie was still shattered, he became more ensconced in his group of friends and in Hellfire Club and you settled nicely with your friends.
Animosity hung between you both and more often than not it led to the two of you bickering. It was like the two of you were never friends at all.
The thought makes your stomach clench and your throat tighten. For as much as you pretended to despise Eddie, it couldn't hide the fact that you missed him, the little ache never really went away.
Though you had no doubt that Eddie didn't care one about you anymore and that sends a wave of hurt through you. There was only so much that icy glares and mean barbs could hide.
Speak of the devil. Eddie stops talking to the rest of Hellfire and glares at you, there's a stubborn frown on his face that turns into a smirk.
"Staring at me again sweetheart? Anyone would think you were into me" he looks so smug and you clench your fists, remind yourself to count to three before you engage in his shit.
"As if Munson, Your voice carries across the cafeteria. Not everyone wants to hear your delusional rants you know" Eddie's eyes narrow and he folds his arms across his chest, his gaze pins you to the spot.
The rest of Hellfire looks back and forth between the two of you. You and Eddie both argued so much you were sure it must be entertainment for his friends.
Gareth and Jeff used to be your friends too a tiny traitor voice whispers to you and you swallow down the fact that you miss them too.
"Why don't you go back to your table and continue being a bitchy, vapid princess yeah?" God you hated him, you really did.
You give him one final dirty look and don't give him the satisfaction of seeing the words have upset you. It's not like he would care if they did.
He stopped caring about you a long time ago.
...
Parties really weren't your thing at all but this was the third one that Jason invited you to in two months so you figured you better show your face for a little bit.
As soon as you enter the party you wish you could turn around and go back home. The only saving grace is Chrissy who tucks you by her side and takes away some of the anxiety you're feeling.
Eddie is here because of course he is. No doubt he's selling weed, you'd give him shit for it but you know that he does it to help his uncle with money. How could you give him shit for that?
You're pulled out of your musings by a gentle tug on your hair and you turn to find Eddie behind you with a shit eating grin on his face.
"Did you just pull my hair, what are we five again Edward?" His eyes light up and he smiles at you, all dimples and mischievous.
"I love when you're angry princess. It's kinda hot" you still and his words disarm you for a minute. Only a minute.
"Hot? As if you would sully your precious reputation by dating one of them and I quote "Buttheads from the dark side" he was just doing this to rile you up and it was working.
He doesn't answer and you realise your heart is racing waiting for him to say something. A tiny bit of disappointment fills you but you choose to ignore it and storm past him.
Maybe you would be able to enjoy the party if you could just avoid Eddie but then you see one person who you work hard to never see at all costs. Someone worse than running into Eddie.
Billy Hargrove, surrounded by people as he chugged from a keg of beer.
Ugh. Seeing Billy was enough to annoy you at the best of times but this? Drunk Billy was a whole level of irritating. The two of you briefly dated last year and it was nice at first, until he cheated on you with some girl from another school outside of Hawkins and you found them at the cinema making out with not a care in the world.
What the hell did he want? "Hey babe, fancy seeing you here?" he smirks and walks over to you, swiftly blocking your way out. Fuck.
"Hargrove. Move your ass from my sight will you?" you snap, you're already verging on getting a headache, talking to him will just make it worse.
"Such harsh words honey. I mean last year you were all over me and now this?" You wince as you remember being really into Billy, god you were an idiot.
"Temporary insanity" you snap and he grins and leans close to you.
"Oh honey, it's your fault if you think you meant anything to me in the first place" fury curdles in your stomach. Asshole.
"Is there a problem here?" you freeze and let out a groan. Oh great. Just who you need to appear, Eddie.
His eyes are narrowed as he looks at Billy who smirks and moves past Eddie. "Nah Munson, just catching up with an old friend" he winks at you and you turn away still fuming and your eyes wet. Ah fuck.
"Dickhead, Eddie mutters and his glare turns to you but softens just slightly at your tears, "What the fuck did you see in him princess?" He demands and you shrug.
"No idea. He is a dick" it startles you that both you and Eddie are in agreement. You wipe your eyes and Eddie's fist clenches.
"You shouldn't cry over him princess" he tells you and his voice is still gentle. You peer up at him and feel that pull towards him, the pull that never really went away.
"Like you can talk Munson" Eddie's eyes widen and he stiffens when you say this and his gaze turns agonized.
"I never want to make you cry sweetheart" he swallows hard and still looks bereft. You can't stand seeing that look on his face.
"It only happened once" you shrug it off but it still doesn't clear that look from Eddie's face. He follows you as you need outside, trying to think of something to say to him.
Then the heavens open and rain begins to beat down on you both.
"Uh shit. Do you want me to take you home or something?" You shake your head at Eddie's suggestion, it's sweet but your parents aren't home tonight, you were meant to be staying with one of the girls.
"They aren't home. I'm supposed to be staying with one of the girls but I just want to get away from this shit for a night" Eddie nods and opens his van door for you.
"Then milady. To my castle I shall take you" you hadn't been back to Eddie's in such a long time but right now it was all you wanted and you gesture at him to lead the way.
Billy's words still echo in your mind as eddie drives. You thought you meant something to Billy last year but your hopes were quickly dashed. Your hopes of maybe finding someone who could love you for you were smashed to pieces.
If you were being honest with yourself the one person who you thought you would end up with was Eddie, when you were friends the thought would sometimes enter your mind. A far off future after high school where you and Eddie were happy and in love.
Obviously that went to shit too. You weren't Eddie's type. You had seen the girls he hooked up with occasionally and they were nothing like you, now it didn't matter because he hated you.
This makes your mood worse, just a bit. Then again if he hated you why was he being so kind to you right now?
You ask him as he leads you into the trailer, the question won't leave your mind and you need to ask.
"Eddie why are you doing this? You hate me don't you?" his eyes widen when you ask this and you flash back to the first time you met Eddie when you were four and he ran off some jerk who tried to steal your sweets in school. He was protective of you, even then.
"Okay uh let's get one thing straight, you can annoy the hell out of me but I could never ever hate you princess" this warms your heart just a little bit.
"Well ditto"
You kiss Eddie's cheek, his heated gaze meets yours and you're so tempted to kiss him. It's an impulsive thought but it's not really all that surprising.
"You want to kiss me" he gently teases and you swat his arm playfully. He really could read you like a book, even now.
"Please, as if. I know I'm not your type anyway. I've seen the girls you've hooked up with" Eddie is quiet for a second and that startles you, he's never quiet. He's always on the go and running his mouth about something or other, usually Jason.
"They didn't mean anything. They weren't you" he says the last part so softly that you have to move closer to hear it but you do. Like magnets the two of you move closer and closer...
Then Eddie's lips meet yours and it's... It's everything. It's perfect. Wayne also picks the perfect time to walk in and you and Eddie break apart.
Wayne smiles when he sees you, "Well hi there honey, haven't seen you around in a long time" it has been a while and you feel an ache deep in your bones. You've missed being here, it's one of the places that feels like home to you.
"I've missed it, being here" you admit to him and Wayne smirks a little bit.
"Mmm, someone else has missed you around here too" he nods to Eddie who glares at him.
"Yeah thanks for that old man" Wayne shrugs looking like he's trying really hard not to laugh and invites you to stay for a little while longer.
When he's busy with setting up some dinner Eddie leans into you and whispers in your ear.
"I do miss you" his voice shakes a tiny bit and his big brown eyes are full of tenderness. It's taken a lot for him to admit it and you take your hand in his.
"Ditto"
💌🎀💓
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leidensygdom · 6 months
Text
AI bros from hell
Hello! Do you have a bit of your time for a story on AI bros and clients from hell? I bring a really fun one!
I met this guy at a con I was tabling at over a year ago, before AI was a thing. He said he enjoyed my art, and inquired me about whether I did book illustrations. I said yes- He was specifically interested in my bigger pieces, the fully rendered and detailed ones. He agreed to send me later a DM to discuss specifics.
For two weeks, he kept DMing me on details about his book, what he wanted, etc. He wanted full illustrations for inside the book as well as a cover, all of them fully colored, painted and rendered. He also wanted illustrations in this style to post on social media to promote the book. I had warned him that something like that would be costly, but he insisted that he needed this to be the best of the best.
Now, I was getting bad vibes from the guy. I shit y'all not, his instagram handle was "The next tolkien". I wasn't however gonna refuse a job opportunity. Now, he finally asked for prices: He had reassured me he was willing to pay fairly for this. Since he's a starting author, I gave him my non-commercial quotes, which are much, much, much lower than the standard for book illustrations. I mean "if you search for how much this costs on google, the lower prices are x5 times more expensive than what I offered".
The guy, upon receiving that, just ghosted me. Immediately unfollowed, didn't reply me with a "sorry, I can't afford it" or "sorry, i was expecting to pay $10 for a full rendered full background several-characters-picture". Nothing.
The other day I decided to search what he was up to. He's now released... THREE books for this series. There's a single review in the first one. Not even written, just a stars one. Also, notably, he had a webpage put together promoting the book, and. Yeah.
All the art is AI crap.
Which makes sense. My guy was very on his high horse about how fantastic of a writer he is, but I guess art isn't really to be compensated fairly. When he saw the "art stealing machine you just pay a subscription for", I'm guessing he was very excited.
So, uh, here's some of the marvelous pictures he generated of the characters, which surely tell you about how great the book is. AI is theft, so I don't give a f*** about reposting it.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I have a lot of opinions about creators who write, draw or make music, who are more than happy to use AI for other stuff- Album covers made with AI, writers using AI crap for book illustrations, artists using AI-made music. It feels like you're sh*tting in any other artistic field and showing how little you respect anyone but yourself. Like, I'll be honest, I don't have interest reading a book from someone who considers that other forms of art aren't real or worth any money. It just tells me you're devoid of any interest for art or humanity.
As an ending note, his instagram description is "More closer to god than to human", which does add to the clownery.
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acourtofwhatthefuck · 2 years
Note
Could you do #2 or #10 from the quotes prompt list with Azriel? I looove your writing, you are so unbelievably talented ❤️
Thank you so much! Here you go — I’ve incorporated both of them! Here’s some fun, drunk Azriel! This was super fun to write and I hope you enjoy, love! ♥️
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Studious - Azriel x Reader Request
warnings: mentions of intoxication; suggestive language.
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The feeling of missing out had never been more prevalent than it was that evening.
You’d felt like the epitome of responsibility when you’d turned down Mor’s offer of a night out with the Inner Circle, in favour of burying your nose in the pile of medical studies Madja had given you to read. The fact that the senior healer had taken you under her wing, made you her apprentice, had been incredibly generous; you wanted to do your bit by putting the work in.
But it was Saturday night — and even Azriel had shelved his work for some down time. You were starting to wish you’d done the same.
Both Mor and Feyre had made a last-ditch attempt to convince you before they’d left. You were holed up in the House of Wind’s private library, books and papers scattered around you, an endless pot of tea keeping you from the brink of sleepiness. It was undoubtedly cosy, but…you couldn’t help daydreaming about letting your hair down, drinking cocktails and dancing the night away.
And maybe engaging in the flirty back-and-forth banter between you and Azriel that never went any further than words.
You'd seen him briefly, from across the room, before they'd all headed out, and the tight-fitting black button up and the dark, fitted trousers had made you think that perhaps it was a good thing you weren't going. He looked delicious, smelled delicious, and if you let the heady pinch of alcohol grip you, you weren't at all sure that you wouldn't try something. You liked him - a lot. And you couldn't exactly ruin your friendship with him by remaining indoors with your books.
But as the night drifted by painfully slow, an ache began to build between your eyes, and you found yourself rereading the same sentences over and over and never taking the information in. With a sigh, you pushed the book away from you and reached for the steaming pot of tea, sending a silent thanks to the magic of the House for keeping it at your ideal temperature.
You were just savouring the tea’s warmth and taste, your eyelids heavy and resting, when you heard the door creaking open. Your eyes immediately opened — no way were you expecting anybody back yet. Your friends had made it clear that they planned to have one hell of a night, and you were sure you’d be fast asleep by the time they had flown — and stumbled — home.
And yet, as you glanced up, that was Azriel filing through the door. His stance was considerably more relaxed than you were used to seeing, absent of the usual taut stealth of a male constantly on alert. Something about him seemed loose and at ease and light.
He strolled in. Stopped. And grinned.
And you snorted. That grin — and the glazed, hazel eyes — said it all. So rarely did Azriel allow himself to go anywhere beyond tipsiness, forever wanting to be in control. Clearly this was one of those rare times he’d decided to throw caution to the wind and indulge.
“I didn’t expect you to be back so soon.” You smiled, taking in the sight of his dark, ruffled hair, the slight flush of his cheeks, the…the normality of his attire.
“Just me.” He drawled. “The others are still partying.”
“You didn’t feel like staying out?”
“I found myself wondering what you were up to.”
You chose to ignore the slight thrill that pulsed through you at those words. Azriel could be quietly charming and flirtatious without the aid of alcohol; you knew he’d truly speak without thinking, now.
You watched as he crossed the room and approached the table you were sitting at. His great, brilliant wings rustled as he perched atop the edge of it.
You cleared your throat, tearing your gaze away. Realised you hadn’t answered. “I told you guys — I needed to study.”
“Hmm. You’re looking very studious, I must say. It’s very attractive.”
Your cheeks flushed, and you lowered your gaze. Never…never was the suggestive banter so…on the nose, as he was currently being.
Faerie wine, no doubt.
“How much have you had to drink?” You mused, shuffling your papers; just to give your hands something to do.
“Some.” Az chirped. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“It makes you very silver-tongued.”
His eyebrows rose. “Am I supposed to deny,” he purred, “that I find you attractive?”
Your face was on fire. This was so different, so unlike him, that you didn’t know how to react. Where to look or what to do with your hands or what to say — if anything. You cleared your throat, searching your mind desperately for something.
“I believe you have denied it before now.” You said, swallowing hard. “Despite your behaviour, I heard you when Cassian questioned you about our relationship — insisting there was nothing there.”
It was true — you hadn’t meant to snoop on the conversation, not at all. You’d just so happened to arrive at the rooftop just in time to catch the tail-end of the subject. Of Cassian teasing Azriel about the banter between the two of you, and Az brushing it off as him building a good rapport with all the females he trained. You hadn’t pulled him up on it; he owed you nothing. But even as your friendship with Az continued in the same way, you couldn’t deny the ever-present sting that his words had provided.
He seemed to just gaze at you for a moment, as though he had absolutely no clue what you were talking about. And then realisation dawned, and he snorted.
“Whatever you heard,” he said, “was me fobbing Cassian off. He’s a busybody. He’d take the first bit of gossip and hunt a Suriel down just to dissect it at length. Like a dog with a bone.”
A soft laugh bubbled up your throat, your eyes on the table. “True.”
Silence and stillness swept through the room so suddenly, it was stifling. You felt strangely vulnerable, knowing that Az’s eyes were firmly on you, and his usual hard exterior had been removed for the night. You didn’t know what to expect of him — if anything.
And you certainly didn’t expect it when he rasped, “I love it when you laugh.”
You blinked, glancing up at him in pure surprise. His stare was like dark, heated honey.
“…You like my laugh?” You asked.
“I wager a great many people like your laugh. But I like it best. Way more than that male who had his hands all over you the last time we went to Rita’s.”
You rolled your eyes. He was never going to let that go. “He bought me a few drinks. I kissed him. So what?”
“Is that what it takes to get a taste of you?” Az’s head fell into a tilt. “If I give you the moon on a string, will you give me a kiss, too?”
You would give him a kiss for far, far less than that. You wanted to slap your hands to your burning cheeks.
“I should get back to studying.” Was all you replied.
“Great. What are we working on?”
You cocked an eyebrow, “We?”
“You’ll one day be Velaris’s senior healer. I want to help you get there.”
You almost laughed again. This version of Az was so damn alien to you, it left you giddy and unsure and…excited. You were used to him usually being so methodical, so measured, speaking so carefully. And yet you didn’t know what he was going to come out with next. It was thrilling—
Perhaps that was why you forgot precisely which book currently sat in front of you. The one you’d spent the most time on this evening.
It only dawned on you when Az was reaching for it, dragging it towards him. You shot out, trying to make a grab for it, your cheeks scorching — but he was already placing it in his lap.
His eyes flicked over the cover curiously, eyebrows slowly raising. “Illyrian Wings: A Study?”
Gods, you wanted the ground to swallow you up. There shouldn’t have been anything suggestive about you reading the book; not when Madja had recommended you do. And yet…it felt so damn intimate. Felt like something you should have kept a secret.
It was a mammoth effort to retain some composure in your face, your voice, as you explained, “Madja is training me so that she can one day fully retire. She wants her people to be left in good hands. And given that three of my future patients have Illyrian wings…”
"Fuck." Azriel’s eyes flashed. “It’s going to be mighty inconvenient if I get turned on every time you call me your patient.”
You snorted. “You’re a heathen when you’re drunk.”
“I’m a heathen when it comes to you.”
You stared at him, and he stared back. And the tension that zipped through the air…it was almost too much. You lowered your gaze to your hands before you could say or do something stupid.
“You know,” Az’s voice was deep, raspy, “you can read about Illyrian wings all you like, but…you’ll only have a true understanding if you get up close and personal with them. Study their anatomy.”
The thought made you feel like you were on fire. You’d heard enough whispers about those wings to know certain snippets of information — that they were incredibly sensitive and stimulating to the touch. That their span tended to have a connection to the size of…other body parts.
You weren’t used to the flirtation being this forward. And you…you had lost your nerve. Didn’t know what to say. Every bit of confidence you’d once had was nowhere to be found.
“I’d like to volunteer.” Azriel hummed. “To be your study.”
Your eyes shuttered, your mouth going dry. “Az, you’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I know precisely what I’m saying. I’m offering to aid you in your education.” Amongst other things, he didn’t add.
And it wasn’t that the thought didn’t appeal to you — gods, it did. You’d always found the wings beautiful and intriguing, always wondered if they were as velvety soft to touch as they looked, whether certain areas were more sensitive than others—
But you also knew that Illyrian wings were deeply personal things. That to allow someone to touch them was a deeply personal thing. And you…you would never disrespect Azriel by doing so while he wasn’t even sober.
“I appreciate your offer.” You said carefully, willing your cheeks to cool down, “but you’re drunk. And I know how sacred your wings are. I will not touch them without clear, express consent. Sober. There’s a high chance you’d wake up tomorrow and regret offering.”
Azriel stared at you, a mark of quiet respect in his eyes. “I wouldn’t.” He said. “But the fact that you would even say that means more than you know.”
You dipped your chin. Az was your friend above all else. You cared so, so deeply for him. Had so much respect for him.
And his half smile was breathtaking as he placed the book back on the table and flared those wings just a little. “I’ll just offer again once I’m sober.”
You snorted. “I doubt it,” you said, “but if you sleep on it and still wish to volunteer yourself as my study, then…by all means. You know I’m at the clinic late most nights. You can drop by and see me any time.”
Az gazed at you again, and the inference in your words, the slight flirtatiousness, lay thick in the air. He knew as well as you did what you were hinting at.
And maybe he’d wake up tomorrow and not remember. Or maybe he would, and would pretend that he didn’t. Maybe without alcohol fogging his brain, he’d realise that the flirting had gone too far and he’d take a step back for the sake of your friendship.
But in that moment, still looking and smelling delicious, his eyes dipped down to your lips and back up again.
“Oh.” He purred luxuriously. “I’ll be visiting you at the clinic for sure.”
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azriel tags: @hanasakr @positivewitch @ruler-of-hades @brekkershadowsinger @nightscourtt @imperfect0angel @luna-1-3-5 @hyacinthoideshispanica @lucyysthings @lahoete @littlemoonash @blacksstarrynight @azriels-mate123 @ghostly-poetic @frieddesigninspiringquotesslime @a-frog-with-a-laptop @illyriansimp @morrie-rose @passingthroughfireandshadow @illyrian-dreamer @azrielsbabyg @96jnie @mich0731 @mulansaucey @truthtellerfanclub @acourtofbooksandmagic @insightsonmylife @basicbittywitty @curbside-cyanide @acourtofchaosandmess @123345566 @starrynights-frostbites @eos-princess @thesillyyogourt @ona-raising-07-l @acediahamartia
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cryptomiracle · 6 months
Text
more creepypasta headcanons
(+ marble hornets)
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WARNINGS:
Ooc? Idk
I started this at 2 am and you can tell
Cursing
I write on my phone so the format may be a little weird
Any brands, games, or characters mentioned in this do NOT belong to me, nor am I sponsored by them in any way.
This is very unserious, I've noticed that a lot of my other hcs usually take a "dark" turn and so I decided to make some that didn't.
You could even say they're a bit... silly.
You should totally check out my masterlist for more hcs (it's pinned)
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Characters: masky, hoodie, ticci toby, jeff the killer, and BEN DROWNED.
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Jeff:
he's extremely hard headed, he WILL argue/fight with someone over the dumbest things and he'll never stop arguing, even if he knows the other person is right.
He has an "emo accent"
He likes to start drama between people, and then leave the crime scene.
He is so ashy you could strike a match off of his elbow
He's been wearing the same beat up converse since 2012, them things are being held together by duct tape and a prayer.
His favorite animal is a raccoon, he says they're sneaky and nocturnal like him.
He refuses to get a new phone, he won't even steal one.
He curses all the time just cause he can, sometimes he'll even jumble random curse words together.
BEN:
He listens to vocaloid and he doesn't play about miku
He runs one of those "rage bait" accounts that are painfully obviously bait
Still quotes old memes and refuses to let them die
Example: yeet, t-posing, and "sanic the hedgehog"
He scams old people on Facebook and e-daters, he doesn't feel bad about it either.
He uses the money he gets from scamming to buy v-bucks and overwatch coins
He once doxxed someone for dissing miku
slender had to take away his mic privileges because he was keeping everyone up at night by yelling bloody murder at people on fortnite/overwatch
once showed up at someones house because they emoted on him after killing him in game
Toby:
He vapes, and thinks he's so cool cause he can do "vape tricks" and he makes people watch him while he does them
Someone once gave him apple cider, told him it was alcohol, and he pretended to be drunk.
His phone gallery is filled with random photos, like there'll be a low quality picture of a tree and then right beside it a picture of a ceiling. Just random stuff
Mint chocolate chip ice cream enjoyer
He's really flexible, although he has bad posture he can do back bends, the splits, etc
more on his terrible posture; when he sits he literally looks like this: ) )
When he first started working for slenderman, he REFUSED to live in the manor and lived outside. While he lived outside he became friends with a lot of the wildlife, slender eventually made him move into the manor because there was a rumor that toby was going to make a "possum army" and try to overthrow slender
He will fight anyone and anything he really doesn't care about his, or their well-being.
Had a "weeb" phase when he was in middle school and he still has nightmares about "naruto running" away from his bullies.
Hoodie:
He can make a killer sandwich (lol) he's not the best at cooking other things, but if you get him to make you a sandwich, he'll bless your taste buds.
He loves karaoke, he can't sing for shit but he still does it anyway
He acts like a millennial (I'm sorry) not to the point where it's completely unbearable, but he will send people "relatable memes" every now and then
He enjoys online arguments, he'll never participate but he will scroll through different threads of people arguing for hours on end
He likes for people to say stuff like "GO WHITE BOY GO" to him
He blushes when he lies, he's a scarily good liar but if you ever want to catch him in a lie, point out the fact that his cheeks are red.
Whenever he has a drink with a straw, he holds the straw in-between his tooth gap.
he sends streaks.
Masky:
He has a NASTYYY side eye, and sometimes he'll scrunch up his nose while side eyeing someone just to make it sting even more
Contemplated getting a mullet once, he never went through with it though.
He coughs like someone's grandfather who smoked three packs of cigarettes a day for 40 years
If someone says a word that reminds him lf a song he likes, it'll automatically get stuck in his head and he'll hum it all day after that.
he isn't weak when it comes to stinky smells, but if it's stinky enough to make him gag he's extremely overdramatic.
he learned how to sew because of how much he ripped his jeans, shirts, etc.
Sleeps so hard sometimes people think he's dead, he'll just be laying there looking casket ready but everyone is too scared to check on him cause he gets super grumpy when woken up.
he always keeps a little money hidden somewhere, even if it's just a 5 dollar bill.
he's superstitious, if he sees you attempt to walk under a ladder he will physically drag you back and make you walk around it.
he has a pair of brass knuckles which he only saves for "special occasions" they're his favorite things ever, he even named them.
he only uses his phone to call, text, or search something up, and that's it.
he doesn't even have YouTube installed.
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I will be reading over this to check for any errors, ty for reading - M
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Note
Am I the asshole for cutting off a mutual for threatening suicide?
I know it sounds bad, but please bear with me.
I stumbled across somebody on Tumblr who shared the same obscure interests as me, and we became mutuals pretty quickly. We hardly interacted outside of liking each other's posts sometimes, which seems to be par for the course for Tumblr mutuals. I had a Discord server with my partners and me in it and we decided to invite them to it in an attempt to be closer friends.
Things were okay for a while, but I noticed a few red flags right off the bat. They'd had a bad experience with their last group of friends and vented about it a lot - that in and of itself is fine, but it got to a point where it was all they would talk about. The vent channel in the server was completely occupied by them, and neither me nor my partners felt comfortable venting there ourselves. Alongside this venting about their old friends, they would continuously insinuate we would be just like them, and would leave them just like their old friends did. Again, I don't have a problem with people asking for reassurance, but this was CONSTANT. When I say it was all they would talk about, I mean it. That kind of mistrust in their supposed friends was mentally draining and made me feel like they didn't value our friendship.
And now we get to the threatening suicide part. This person was very clearly mentally ill, needed help, and lived in an unsupportive home. I had all the sympathy in the world for them, and still hope they manage to get out of it. However, if we did not respond to the constant venting in our Discord server, they would go on Twitter and Tumblr and talk about how everyone was ignoring them, and they were going to kill themselves. Several times. This happened a few times before I approached them and asked them kindly not to vague post about me, as I have "trauma" (put in quotes because the vague posting was not the root cause of it) surrounding people pretending to be my friend and shit-talking me in vague posts. They apologized, and agreed to try and cut down on doing it.
But it didn't stop. A week would pass, and they would go right back to it. Their suicide threats were made near daily, and while I don't mind talking someone down from suicide, being expected to do it every single day was taking a massive toll on my mental health.
Eventually, my partners and I decided we weren't cut out to be friends with this person. A message was sent to the Discord server, explaining we made a collective decision that we were not a good match, and that we'd be deleting the server. Cue the final breakdown - as soon as they saw the message, they started to freak out, threatening to kill themselves, begging not to leave them, saying they'd be alone without us, etc. The server was deleted and they moved to my partner's DMs, still threatening suicide and generally being nasty.
After blocking them on socmed, things were quiet for a while. Occasionally, they will send me or my partners asks telling them they're going to kill themselves and how they just want to "make things right" between us. Obviously these threats are empty. The last one they sent me was on Roblox of all things because I'd blocked them everywhere else.
So, am I the asshole? Should I have continued to stay in this friendship and tried harder to make it work?
What are these acronyms?
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nachosncheezies · 3 months
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Yoooo, so I said I was taking a break, but, the words! I saw the prompt fly across my dash earlier and I am not the one who received it and I do not know who sent it but this is the kind of thing that happens when I attempt menial labor! So, with apologies for stealing and without any proofreading, here's a little M+S "pilot wedding" ficlet.
~~~~~
They were going to pay a visit to Billy Miles. They were drenched, completely soaked through from the cold graveyard rain. Scully sat shivering audibly in the passenger seat. 
Mulder pulled off at the diner. “Our rooms and our clothes are gone. At least it’ll be warm,” he said.
The graveyard-shift waitress took one look at them and took pity. “You look like a coupla drowned rats,” she remarked. “Think we got some towels around here somewhere.” 
Soon they sat across from each other in a booth, stripped down to their trousers and tees, two cups of coffee steaming on the table between them. The waitress had scrounged up a pair of blankets from somewhere too, and they each wore one around their shoulders. Scully’s hair still clung heavily to her ears and down her neck in damp clumps. For all that, she was smiling.
"I gotta say, Scully, I've had a couple different partners over the years, but you're not like anyone the Bureau has tried to send me." 
She quirked an eyebrow at him. "How's that?" she asked.
He glanced both ways and then leaned forward across the table, beckoning her closer. She leaned forward too, putting her face close to his. He glanced around conspiratorially one more time.
"You're fun," he whispered. She straightened and blinked at him several times, unspeaking. He wondered if he'd been a little too inappropriate, until she once again burst out in the goofiest cackle he'd ever heard. It was even better without the background din of the pouring rain. 
Pleased, he relaxed as he sat back against the bench seating. "You're a hell of a lot smarter, too," he complimented.
"Well then it's a good thing I'm here, because I don't think Chief Blevins is going to accept 'alien mind-control implants' as an explanation for those murders or the graverobbing," she teased.
"Well they’ve sent you for a reason. If anyone can find some other rational explanation, Scully, I'm sure it'll be you"
"Thanks," she smiled, playing with a stir stick in her coffee.
"...Bet ya won’t, though."
She pursed her lips. "What's the wager?"
He had been teasing, rhetorically, but decided to see where it might go. "Loser buys lunch when we get back to DC?"
She sized him up over the rim of her cup as she took a long and thoughtful sip. She smirked as she put it down. "Deal," she said.
Hours later, dry and fed, he made to lead her from the diner. “Mulder?” she called from just behind him. He stopped with the door halfway open and looked down at her. "You're fun, too." He caught the briefest glimpse of her cheeky grin as she brushed past him, ducking under his arm, and led him out into the humid morning.
~~~~~
Another lunchtime in the diner, and she was blushing furiously.
"I had no idea crackpots were your type," he breathed, with overexaggerated delight. 
She rolled her eyes at him. “I only meant that… if I were to settle down some day, I’d want him to be fun, and- and engaging to talk to. It’s hardly on my radar now. I’m just getting started with my career, I haven’t taken much time for that sort of thing.”
Mulder shrugged, leaned back and slung his elbows over the back of the bench on either side of himself. "Whaddya say we raise the stakes?" 
"Huh?"
"On our bet."
"What do you have in mind?"
"Marry me."
She dropped her chin and her brows flew up and together in the most incredulous expression he'd ever seen. It was almost worth the risk just to see that face. "Uhhh huh," she said, drawing out the first syllable.
"Well, you wouldn't have to worry about finding a 'guy like me' then." He threw up air quotes.
"And what do I get if I win?" 
"Bragging rights?” She arched one brow at him again. “I'll tell everyone that you run the department….” She pinned him with a look that suggested he must be joking. “...And you can have whatever you want. And I mean anything. Blank check. If it’s mine, it could be yours. You don't even have to decide today. Non-transferrable, no expiry. Just let me know when you figure it out."
She was delirious with exhaustion. No, that wasn't enough. There was definitely something in the water in this town. She was compromised. That was the only explanation for why her mouth started moving before her brain in that moment. "I won't do it in a church," she said.
He blinked at her, a little stunned that she was testing his bluff. "I'm an atheist," he hedged.
"I'm Catholic," she answered.
"Right, so behind God's back, then."
She narrowed her eyes at him, and his heart hammered in his chest as he realized that she might actually, really be considering calling him on it. As he realized that he might actually, really want her to. "Annulment will remain on the table at all times," he offered, just to see what she would do.
She straightened, turned her torso a little bit sideways, as if having her shoulder angled partway between them might allow her a better perspective on his character and sanity. She continued to squint at him.
"You're on," she finally said, and he wasn't sure whether the ground fell out from beneath him, or whether it had launched him into space.
~~~~~
She probably could have found a more comprehensive explanation for it all, but the truth was, she didn't try that hard. Definitely something in the water.
They went to the magistrate on their last afternoon in Oregon. She looked at him and wondered who the hell carried their birth certificate around with them on a case, before reminding herself that she did, too. He looked at her and wondered who this gutsy little firecracker was, if she might actually be as crazy as he was. They looked at each other and wondered if either one would blink.
Neither did.
They both left town hall with a chaste kiss on the cheek and a deep, newfound respect for the nerves of absolute steel on the person beside them.
In DC, he accompanied her to HR and then to Bureau's legal advisory department so she could make the customary arrangements recommended for all new field agents. Neither made mention of their new marital status. His name was added beside her mother's as an emergency contact, her name was added beside his father's. He witnessed her living and final wills, the latter leaving whatever she had at time of her passing to her mother, with one other line reading "For Fox W. Mulder, Moby Dick." He didn't ask.
He went to his own lawyer the following week, and updated his will to bequeath her an amount that could not be called paltry, but which he deemed not to be overly extravagant either, and a sealed note that just said, "Don’t lose that laugh."
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ALRIGHT YOU GUYS ASKED FOR THIS!
MURDER DRONES INCORRECT QUOTES, 38 PAGES WORTH, THE SHIPS ARE NUZI, DIZZY AND OILROSE. THIS WAS MADE LIKE A WEEK AFTER EPISODE 6 RELEASED. BE PREPARED THIS WILL BE LONG.
**Thad:** We call that a traumatic experience. 
**Thad, turning to Uzi:** Not a "bruh moment". 
**Thad, turning to J:** Not "sadge". 
**Thad, turning to V:** And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".
-
**Lizzy:** *lying down and crying* 
**V:** There, there. Why don’t you take some time off to not be around me while you’re like this?
-
**V:** Just trust me. Have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation? 
**N:** All the time. 
**V:** Then you should be used to it by now.
-
**Uzi:** You need a hobby. 
**V:** I have a hobby! 
**Uzi:** Fawning over J isn’t a hobby.
-
**N:** How do you connect with a fictional character? 
**Thad:** What? 
**Doll:** что? (What?) 
**Lizzy:** What? 
**Uzi:** *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.
-
**Doll:** Иногда я разговариваю сам с собой без причины. (Sometimes i talk to myself.)
**Doll:** Я тоже! (Me too!)
-
**Lizzy:** How do I tell Doll that I want them to yell at me like they're Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?
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**Doll:** Uzi просто сказал: «У меня есть тяга к разрушению», а затем они нагнулись и развязали мой ботинок. (Uzi just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then they reached down and untied my shoe.)
-
**Uzi:** I will send my army to attack! 
**Uzi:** *releases a dumpster of raccoons*
-
**J:** What kinds of sounds annoy you? 
**N:** Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones? 
**J, now interested:** Lets say imaginary. 
**N:** Spiders wearing flip-flops.
-
**Lizzy:** Ow! 
**Doll:** В чем дело? (What’s wrong?) 
**Lizzy:** I have this weird pain right behind my visor. 
**Doll:** Это называется стрессовая головная боль. Я получил свой первый, когда мне было четыре года. (It’s called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.)
-
**N:** J, you’re mean!
**J:** What did you say? 
**N:** You heard me! 
**J, internally:** And it turns out I actually didn't hear what the fuck you just said.
-
**Thad:** Why are you two always out during snowstorms? 
**N:** It’s so peaceful and refreshing. I love the smell of snow. 
**Uzi:** V bet me I couldn’t get struck by lightning, but she’s WRONG.
-
**Doll:** Так когда же мы им расскажем? (So when are we gonna tell them? )
**Lizzy:** Just give her a minute. 
**Uzi:** *Pulling on a door that clearly says push.*
-
**Lizzy:** Hey! Wanna hear a joke? 
**Doll:** Конечно. (Sure.) 
**Lizzy:** Your life! 
**Doll:** На самом деле моя жизнь — не шутка, шутки имеют смысл. (Actually, my life isn’t a joke, jokes have meaning.)
**Lizzy:** Doll, no.
-
**Tessa:** Keep it running. *Tosses keys over shoulder into empty parking lot.*
-
*The Squad cleaning up* 
**Thad:** Pick up the nearest piece of trash and throw it away. 
**Lizzy, to Uzi:** Aight, which bin do you wanna go in—
-
**Doll:** Я не был настолько пьян от масла. (I wasn’t that drunk on oil.)
**Lizzy:** You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important. 
**Doll:** ПОТОМУ ЧТО ВЫ ЕСТЬ! (BECAUSE YOU ARE!)
-
*When a child starts crying in public* 
**N:** *tries to make the child laugh* 
**Doll:** *tries to play a game with the child to make them calm down* 
**Lizzy:** *gives [bad] detailed instructions to the parents* 
**Thad:** *cries with the child* 
**V:** *ignores the child* 
**Uzi:** *is the reason why the child is crying*
-
**Lizzy:** Why are we friends? 
**V:** Poor decisions on your part.
-
**Uzi:** So, are you two dating now? 
**J and V:** Yes. 
**Uzi:** Why? 
**J:** I happen to find V very appealing. 
**Uzi:** Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with V.
-
**Uzi:** When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “Woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why N made me get tested.
-
**J:** Is something burning? 
**V, leaning seductively on the counter:** Just my desire for you. 
**J:** V, the toaster is literally on fire.
-
**J**: When I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.
**N**: What changed?
**J**: Now I know you’re a fake bitch.
-
**J, passing their phone to N:** I'm passing the phone to someone, who if I had to choose between hanging out with them and having my organs removed one by one, I’d choose the organs. 
**N, passing the phone back to J:** I'm passing the phone to my best friend!
-
**Uzi:** Two brooooos! 
**N:** Chillin' in a hot tub! 
**Uzi:** Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay! 
**N:** 
**Uzi:** 
**N:** *tearing up* 
**Uzi:** Babe, c'mon... 
**N:** AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING. 
**Uzi:** Babe...
-
**Uzi:** sapnu puaS. 
**Thad:** What?? 
**N:** What language is that? 
**Uzi:** Turn your phone 180 degrees. 
*Uzi was removed from the group chat*
-
**V:** At this point I have to confess… I started to feel a little bad for Doll. Maybe it was the fact that I had just outperformed them at their own game, or maybe it was that I held an obvious advantage over the poor bastard. Maybe it was just that unbearable to look into their eyes. Either way, I started to wonder if maybe this was a pointless endeavor after all. What was I doing to this person? What was I trying to prove? Was this really some grand, noble quest, to tear an overconfident fraud from their unearned throne? To show everyone that I was right. That Doll did not deserve to stand at that zenith, to lord over all their lowly competitors. Or… perhaps… was I really just doing this for myself? Beating an opponent within an inch of their life over and over and over again… all for my own petty ego. All to fill this emptiness inside of me. I asked myself, was Doll really the bad guy? Or was it me, all along? 
**V:** But then I remembered that Doll ain’t shit, and I got over it!
-
*Bullying Prevention Day at school* 
**Teacher:** Uzi, what would you do if one of your classmates viciously teased you again and again? 
**Uzi:** Oh, that’s easy. I’d take a pencil out of my pencil case— 
**Teacher:** To write something to your teacher? 
**Uzi:** —make sure that it’s really sharp, and ram it into their eye at full tilt! My mom always said the pencil is mightier than the sword because they can’t outlaw bringing pencils to school! 
**Teacher:** *internal screaming*
-
**V:** This bloodline ends with me. 
**Uzi:** That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay".
-
**V:** How’s practice going? 
**Lizzy:** Terrible. I want to stab everybody there. 
**V:** Okay, just don’t get any oil on your clothes. 
**Lizzy:** …you shouldn’t be condoning this. 
**V:** Don’t tell me how to live my life.
-
**Uzi, singing:** I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need— 
**Lizzy:** A mom. 
**J:** A better love life. 
**V:** Mental stability. 
**N:** *clueless* Bagels?
-
**Doll:** Люди всегда отвергают мои идеи, и мне это надоело. Два предложения, и все всегда кричат: «Какого черта? это незаконно!» и «Ты не можешь этого сделать!». Мол, давай, дай мне поговорить! (People always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone’s always shouting “What the fuck? That’s illegal!” and “You can’t do that!”. Like, c'mon, let me talk!)
-
**V:** How was your day, Lizzy? 
**Lizzy:** Yeah, fine, it's anti-bullying week at school. 
**V:** Oh? And what does that mean? 
**Lizzy:** It means I can't bully Uzi for a whole week.
-
**V:** J annoyed me today so I told them that I can’t wait to see what they have planned for our special day tomorrow. 
**Uzi:** There is nothing special about tomorrow. 
**V:** But there is something special about watching the color leave their eyes as panic takes over.
-
**Lizzy, to Doll:** You wanna fight? All right, let’s take this outside. The stars are so bright tonight and the moon looks so nice. Here, hold my hand—
-
**Doll:** Не могу поверить, что в моем свидетельстве о рождении написано Ф… (I can’t believe my birth certificate says F... )
**Doll:** ...Как я не родился? (...How did I fail being born?)
-
**Uzi:** *About to do something incredibly stupid* 
**N:** I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.
-
**Doll, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl:** Я убил парня, и мне это понравилось- (I killed a guy, and I liked it- )
**Lizzy, whispering:** Should we call the exorcist? 
**Uzi, also singing:** The taste of his cherry chapstick. 
**V, appalled:** Call the exorcist.
-
**Uzi:** Guys… the principal just called— 
**Rebecca:** It was Lizzy! 
**Lizzy:** It was Braiden! 
**Braiden:** It was Thad! 
**Thad:** It was me!
-
**Uzi:** I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time. 
**V:** *cracks knuckles* Manslaughter it is!
-
**J:** You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "Huh.." 
**V:** I saw you. 
**J:** Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of Tessa in a turkey costume.
-
**N:** Remember! Curiosity killed the cat! 
**V:** Yes, but you forget that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Lizzy, go find out if that thing can catch fire! 
**N:** You're a bad influence. 
**V:** And you don't know your sayings.
-
**Uzi:** Is stabbing someone immoral? 
**Lizzy:** Not if they consent to it. 
**V:** Depends on who you’re stabbing. 
**N:** YES??!!?
-
**V:** The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.
-
**Doll:** Хотите чего-нибудь выпить? (Would you like something to drink?) *They open the fridge* У нас есть вода, молоко, сок, тараканы, Доктор Пеппер- (We have water, milk, juice, cockroaches, Dr. Pepper-)
**Lizzy:** Cockroaches? 
**Doll:** Тараканы это тогда. (Cockroaches it is then.) 
**Lizzy:** No, that wasn’t- 
*But they were already pouring them a brimming glass of cockroaches*
-
**V:** How long do you think it'll take? 
**J:** I don’t know, three or four. 
**Uzi:** Three or four what? Days? Weeks? Months? 
**V:** Yeah, maybe five. 
**Uzi:** Five what?!
-
*J Driving and taking V and N along for the ride* 
**N:** That's a pothole. To the left! 
**J:** Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole* 
**V, sticking their face into the front over the center console:** Cha Cha real smooth. 
**J:** I don't think that's how the song goes. 
**N, crying and gripping the handle:** Please just take me home. 
**J:** Country Roads. 
**V:** To the place. 
**J and V in unison:** I Belong! 
**N, crying harder:** What the fuck?
-
*J and V are in a mirror maze* 
**J, seeing V:** C'mon, you got it! Almost through! 
**V:** Oh! I see you! *runs straight into a mirror, shattering it* 
**J:** *Cries laughing*
-
*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’* 
**Lizzy:** I love me too.
**V:** Oh no. 
**N:** *cries* I love you too. 
**Uzi:** Sounds fake, but okay. 
**J:** *A flustered mess* 
**Thad:** Can I get a refund?
-
**V:** It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.
-
**Doll:** Я думаю, мой ангел-хранитель пьет. (I think my guardian angel drinks.)
-
**Thad:** Hey, Lizzy? Can I get some dating advice? 
**Lizzy:** Just because I'm with Doll doesn't mean I know how I did it.
-
**N:** There is no i in happyness… 
**J:** There is if you fucking spell it right.
-
**Uzi:** We are gathered here today because someone- *glares at V’s coffin* -couldn’t stay alive!
-
**Lizzy:** Would you take a bullet for me? 
**Doll:** …да? (...yes?) 
*Uzi angrily bursts into the room* 
**Lizzy:** *running away* Great, thanks!
-
**N:** You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes. 
**V, stirring their coffee:** I prefer it with salt.
-
**Uzi:** Are you okay? 
**N, crying:** Yeah, it was just the onions. 
**Uzi:** *Picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to N?
-
**Thad:** Do you support gay rights? 
**Doll:** Я буквально гей. (I’m literally gay.) 
**Uzi:** They’re avoiding the question!
-
**N:** Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers! 
**V:** Please, just say fuck.
-
**Lizzy:** Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie- 
**Thad:** Eyy, homie! 
**Uzi:** But then there's cootie... 
**J:** Die.
-
**Uzi:** Isn’t it weird that we can’t ride any other animal except horses? Like if horses weren’t a thing, drones would be fucked cause we couldn’t ride any other animals. Like riding animals wouldn’t really be a thing. We should probably be more grateful to horses. 
**V:** Elephants. 
**Uzi:** Blocked. 
**J:** Camels. 
**Uzi:** Extra blocked. 
**N:** Donkeys. 
**Uzi:** Ultra blocked. 
**Lizzy:** That dick. 
**Uzi:** ...Followed.
-
**N:** Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute drone but I'm not! 
**V:** N, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday. 
**N:** It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it! 
**J:** ...It was a bug. 
**N:** It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not! 
**V:** ... 
**J:** ... 
**N:** Stop looking at me like that!
-
**Uzi:** I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born. 
**J:** Aw... that's not true. 
**J:** It'd be exactly the same. 
**J:** You're not important.
-
**V, admiring a sleeping J:** You’re so cute. 
**J, sleepily:** I could beat your ass. 
**V, lovingly:** I know.
-
**Lizzy:** I know how this must look but I can assure you we have a perfectly logical explanation. 
**Thad:** Yeah! We’re cowards!
**Lizzy**: Thad- no.
-
**V:** Stay foxy. 
**J:** Die lonely.
-
**Lizzy, filling out legal paperwork:** Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? 
**V:** Bold of you to assume I was born at all. 
**J:** I personally was created in a lab. 
**Uzi:** I just straight up spawned lol.
-
**V:** Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. 
**V:** Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.
-
**Lizzy:** *Pulls a glass of water from out of nowhere* 
**Doll:** Где ты достала это? (Where did you get that?)
**Lizzy:** My pocket. 
**Doll:** Как держать стакан воды в кармане? (How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?)
**Lizzy:** Skills.
-
**Lizzy:** How are you today? 
**Doll:** Пожалуйста, не заставляй меня думать о своей жизни. (Please don’t make me think about my life.)
-
Here’s a bunch of shipping ones that I got:
-
**Uzi:** My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful, and organized. 
**N:** *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely* 
**Uzi:** That one. I want that one.
-
**Uzi:** Hey, J, are you free on Friday? Like around eight? 
**J:** uh. Yeah. why.
**Uzi:** And you, V? 
**V:** Umm... yes? 
**Uzi:** Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date! 
**V:** Did she just-
-
**N:** Are you ready to commit? 
**Uzi:** Like a crime or a relationship?
-
**N:** Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid. 
**Uzi:** You always act stupid. 
**Uzi:** 
**Uzi:** Wait...
-
**J:** Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash. 
**V:** Oh. We're going out? 
**J:** Wh...
-
**V:** I want to kiss you. 
**J, not paying attention:** What? 
**V:** I said if you die, I won't miss you.
-
**J:** Ugh, crushes are so dumb. 
**V:** I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting crazy. 
**J:** But you’re always acting crazy? 
**V:** ... 
**V:** Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.
-
**Doll:** Кем ты хочешь быть на Хэллоуин? (What do you want to be for Halloween?)
**Lizzy:** Yours. 
**Doll:** …
**Doll:** …да, это было бы довольно страшно. (…yeah, that would be pretty scary.)
-
End of MAJOR shipping section
-
**Thad:** I was arrested for being too cool. 
**Lizzy:** The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.
-
**J, when V walks in:** Oh, hey, I'm just storing oil. 
**J:** *“accidentally” smacks N in the face with a worker’s arm*
-
**N:** Anyone wanna play cards?
**J:**Sure, anyone have any poker chips?
**Uzi:** Plus four. 
**Thad:** Pikachu, I choose you
**V:** Go fish.
**N:** I meant rummy-
**Random worker drone:** It's gin rummy.
-
**Uzi:** We’ve got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without
**J:** N, probably.
-
**J:** I'm sorry please talk to me
**V:**
**J:** Hello? World’s most amazing drone? Sweet Pea? Company assigned partner?
**V:** Don't sweet pea me you stole my bubbles.
-
**J:** I'm not doing too well.
**V:** Are you okay?
**J:** I have this headache that comes and goes
**N:** *enters the room*
**J:** There it is again!
-
**J:** I CAN'T DO IT!
**V, laughing:** I CAN'T EITHER!
**J:** I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
**N:** WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
**J:**
**J:** I appreciate it,
**J:** BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
**Doll:** J-
**J:** YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
**Lizzy:** J we gotta-
**J:** YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
**J:** YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
**J, motioning to Uzi:** NOT FUCKING THIS
-
'Can I copy the homework?'
**N:** I can help you with it!
**Uzi:** Yeah, sure.
**V:** Bold of you to assume I did the homework.
**J:** lol nope.
**Lizzy:** We had homework?
**Doll:** *Read 5:55pm*
-
**J:** We need to distract these guys **V:** Leave it to me **V:** Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. **Thad, Uzi, and Lizzy:** *Immediately begin arguing* **N, watching in horror:** Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.
-
**V:** Time for plan G. **J:** Don’t you mean plan B? **V:** No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. **Uzi:** What about plan D? **V:** Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. **N:** What about plan E? **V:** I’m hoping not to use it. J dies in plan E. **Uzi:** I like plan E.
-
**J:** If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous. **N:** What if it bites me and it dies!? **V:** Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, N, learn to listen. **Uzi:** What if it bites itself and I die? **N:** That’s voodoo. **Lizzy:** What if it bites me and someone else dies? **J:** That’s correlation, not causation. **Uzi:** What if we bite each other, and neither of us die? **V:** That’s kinky. **J:** Oh my God.
-
OILROSE SECTION because im running out of ideas and i love them a lot
**J:** Here's some advice
**V:** I didn't ask for any
**J:** Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me
-
**V:** *Stabs their leg with tail* FUCK!
**J:** Language!
**V:** What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
**J:**
**V:** You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.
-
*J:* You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
**V, drinking toast:** Why do you say that?
-
**V:** So are we flirting right now?
**J:** I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU??
**V:** That doesn’t answer my question.
-
**V:** Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
**J:** You and me.
**V, tearing up:** Okay.
-
**V:** .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- (I’M SORRY)
**J:** What's that?
**V:** Remorse code.
**J:** I'm even angrier now.
-
**V:** Am I in trouble?
**J:** Take a guess.
**V:** No?
**J:** Take another guess.
-
**J, pointing:** May I sit there?
**V:** That's my lap
**J:** That doesn't answer my question, V.
-
**V:** English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
**J:** You need to stop.
-
**J:** *Walking in to a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things.
*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*
**V:** *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.
-
**J:** I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.
**V:** It’s not a joke.
**V:** *sniffles*
**V:** I’m a legit snack.
-
**J, addressing the squad:** And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.
**V:** But – that’s just a trash can.
**J:** It sure is!
-
**J:** Remember when we didn't try to solve all our problems with attempted murder?
**V:** Stop romanticizing the past.
-
**V:** I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives
**J:** I wake up at 4:30 AM
**V:**
**V:** I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives
-
**J:** V...
**V:** Oh no, 'V' in b-flat.
**V:** You're disappointed.
-
**J:** petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday
**V:** Wednesay
**J:** Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible
-
**V:** You love me, right, J?
**J:** Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.
-
*J and V skipping stones on a (frozen) lake*
**J:** It’s such a nice night..
**V, whispering:** Take that you fucking lake
-
**J:** You're right.
**V:** That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
END OF OILROSE SECTION :’( it was getting a bit too long
-
**J:** Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
**N:** >:O language
**Lizzy:** Yeah watch your fucking language
**V:** OKAY WHO TAUGHT LIZZY THE FUCK WORD?
**Uzi:** 'The fuck word'.
**Thad:** Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
**Lizzy:** Oh my god they censored it
**Uzi:** Say fuck, Thad.
**Lizzy:** Do it, Thad. Say fuck.
-
**V:** Rules are made to be broken.
**N:** They were made to be followed.Nothing is made to be broken.
**Thad:** Uh, piñatas.
**J:** Glow sticks.
**Uzi:** Karate boards.
**Lizzy:** Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
**V:** Rules.
**N:**
-
*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*
**J:** I will not let you down.
**Thad:** Sounds fun.
**V:** K.
**Uzi:** No, I'm fucking not.
**Lizzy:** Do I have to be?
**N:** Please god, I am so tired.
-
**Lizzy:** What are you talking about N? You love it here! 
**N:** I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome.
-
**Lizzy:** See, the problem is, V, you’re playing 3D chess. I’m playing 4D. 
**V:** I’m playing checkers. I don’t know what the fuck you’re playing.
-
**V:** I’m so tired. 
**Uzi:** Did you get to bed late? 
**V:** No. 
**Uzi:** Did you do something strenuous? 
**V:** No. 
**Uzi:** Then why are you tired? 
**V:** I’m alive. 
**Uzi:** Sounds exhausting.
-
**V:** You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch. 
**J:** What changed your mind? 
**V:** Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.
-
**V:** Are you busy? 
**J:** Yes. 
**V:** Cool, listen to this...
Somebody stop me im decending into oilrose again
-
 *V recording whilst Lizzy and Uzi are arguing* 
**Lizzy:** HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP!! HER SISTER WAS A WITCH, RIGHT? AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS! THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST, BRO! 
**V:** *wheezes like a tea kettle* 
**J, pulling out a knife:** I'm gonna stab them both.
**Lizzy:** YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG? AM I WRONG? 
**Uzi:** It's my favorite movi- 
**Lizzy:** SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE, UZI! 
**Uzi:** I'm not fighting with you, I'm not fighting with y- 
**Lizzy:** GROW UP, BRO. GROW UP!
-
**J:** Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder. 
**J:** *glares at N* 
**N:** Well, sorry I have morals!
-
*The Squad's cooking skills* 
**Doll:** *master chef* 
**Lizzy:** *knows a few recipes* 
**Thad:** *can follow instructions on a box* 
**Uzi:** *made toast once* 
**N:** *banned from the kitchen*
-
**Lizzy:** Why are you on fire? 
**V:** This is just how my day is going.
-
*Lizzy and Thad are texting* 
**Lizzy:** Who are you? Someone changed the names in my phone. 
**Thad:** What did they change my name to? 
**Lizzy:** Chosen One. 
**Thad:** Don’t change it back. 
**Lizzy:** BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?! 
**Thad:** I’m the chosen one.
-
**Lizzy:** In my defense, I was left unsupervised. 
**N:** Wasn’t V with you? 
**V:** In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
-
**Uzi:** Go to hell! 
**J:** Oh! I’ve been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely.
**V, from far away:** Me too!
-
**Uzi:** Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.
-
**Thad:** Valentines Day? I'm ready. *Sprays an entire can of AXE body spray on themselves*
-
**J:** If we don’t get out of this alive… If we’re both about to die… I love you, V!
*Neither of them dies*
**V:** …
**J:** …
**V:** So do you wanna talk about somethi-
**J:** No thank you.
-
**V:** J! I thought you were dead! 
**J:** No, just in deep cover. 
**V:** ...But it was an open casket. 
**J:** It was very deep.
-
**J:** V, I love you and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing? 
**Uzi, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that V is sitting atop:** Oh nothing much. 
**V:** I love you too :)
-
**Uzi:** Don’t mansplain this to me! 
**J:** Wh- I’m a woman! I can't mansplain anything to you! 
**Uzi:** …Well, I’m a feminist, and I believe a woman can do anything a man does!
-
**Lizzy:** Who the fuck- 
**N:** Language! 
**Lizzy:** Whom the fuck- 
**N:** No.
-
**Uzi:** Is J always like this when she loses? 
**V:** Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of (year). 
**J:** YOU BUMPED THAT TABLE AND WE ALL KNOW IT.
-
**N, in a high voice, holding Barbie:** Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career! 
**Uzi, in a deep voice, holding Ken:** Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids. 
**V:** What the fuck are you guys doing? 
**Uzi:** Playing systemic oppression.
-
**J:** Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know! 
**V:** The mouth of a jellyfish is also an an*s. 
**J:** Stop.
-
**Lizzy:** ARE YOU- 
**Uzi:** Fucking. 
**Lizzy:** KIDDING ME?! YOU- 
**Uzi:** Fucking. 
**Lizzy:** IDIOT! 
**Thad:** …What was that? 
**Uzi:** V banned Lizzy from swearing, so I’m helping her out.
-
**Uzi:** I hate you with every inch of my body! 
**J:** That’s not a lot of inches.
-
**Lizzy:** You think you're smarter than everyone else. 
**J:** I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.
-
**V:** I think I should be allowed on ghost hunter tv shows. 
**Uzi:** I think that would be dangerous for the ghosts.
-
**Tessa:** Its hard to resist, I'm really sorry- I mean, considering your approach so far, you had us tied here for- what? Hours? And you haven’t even had us confirm what exactly we are! 
**Cyn:** What are you then? 
**Tessa:** I'm a Virgo! -fucking dies-
-
**Lizzy:** She's the girl of my dreams! 
**Thad:** You say every girl is the girl of your dreams. 
**Lizzy:** I have a lot of dreams.
-
**J:** Why am I the bad guy? 
**V:** I don't know, why am I the hot one? We all have our thing.
-
**N:** Do you always have to attack me with your words? 
**J:** Would you prefer me to use a brick?
-
**Thad:** Happy Scorpio season. If you have to burn a bridge, do it safely! 
**J:** With NAPALM.
-
**J:** Hey, wanna go hunt with me? 
**V:** You have a gun in your hand. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shoot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.
-
**J:** The waiter at Olive Garden has been grating my cheese for 6 hours now, waiting for me to say when. Customers are screaming. Three people have died. 
**J:** I will not yield.
-
**Thad:** What’s it like being tall? 
**Uzi:** Is it nice? 
**Lizzy:** Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards? 
**N:** We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.
-
**V, trying to comfort J:** What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.
-
**V:** I want to be like a caterpillar. 
**Uzi:** Explain. 
**V:** Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful. 
**N:** You know they have a lifespan of a week, right? 
**V:** 
**J:** That's just another highlight!
-
**Doll:** Выйди из моей комнаты (Get out of my room)
**V, standing in the doorway:** I’m not in your room.
-
**J:** You know, sometimes I really think I can be too straight. 
**V, covered in bi merch and sipping an iced oil:** Sucks to be you.
-
**J:** I don't know, it's not my cup of oil. 
**V:** Well then whose is it? 
**J, staring at a cup of oil:** I don't know!
-
**Doll:** Бро, мне приснилось, что мы поцеловал. (Bro, I had a dream we kissed.) 
**Lizzy:** Bro, relax it was just a dream. 
**Doll:** Ха, гей, я бы тебя не целовать. (Huh, gay, I wouldn’t kiss you.)
**Lizzy:** You wouldn’t? 
**Doll:** Я имею в виду, если ты не хочешь… (I mean, unless you want to-)
-
**Uzi:** This can’t get any worse. Can it? 
**J:** Sure it can - just give me a minute.
-
**Uzi:** Ew. What kind of tea is this? 
**J:** I boiled oil.
-
**V:** Guys, my friend here is bilingual. 
**J:** Yes. 
**V:** Which means they like both boys and girls. 
**J:** Ye- wait, what- 
**Uzi:** V, that's not what bilingual means- 
**V:** Shhh, it's okay J. I still love you, girl. 
**N and Uzi:** ... 
**V:** Full homo.
-
**Thad:** Hey do you wanna hang out this weekend? 
**Lizzy:** Generic excuse. 
**Thad:** I can’t believe you said that out loud, to my face. 
**Lizzy:** I can.
-
**N:** Aren’t you going to say “have a nice day?” 
**J:** I don’t care if you have a pulse, much less a nice day.
-
**V:** Truth or dare? 
**Lizzy:** Dare. 
**V:** I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room. 
**Lizzy:** Hey Uzi? 
**Uzi:** Yeah? 
**Lizzy:** Can you move? I'm trying to get to Doll.
-
OILROSE SECTION (again) im running out of ideas and i love them a lot
**J:** Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt. 
**V:** Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.
-
**V:** Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl. 
**J:** Okay. 
**V:** And make out during the scary parts. 
**J:** Th- 
**J:** The scary parts. 
 **J:** Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
-
**V:** I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it. 
**J:** What- how? 
**V:** You’d be like “come with me to hunt… Mrs. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”
-
**J:** *angrily presses V against a wall* WHERE'S MY JCJENSON PENS?! 
**V:** ... 
**V:** Are we about to kiss-
-
**J:** Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, V! 
**V:** You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.
-
**V:** I love you. 
**J, not paying attention:** What was that? 
**V:** I said I’m selling you to the zOo-
-
**V:** You look good in that hoodie. 
**J:** You know where else I'd look good? 
**V, zero hesitation, without thinking:** My bed. 
**J, at the same time:** By your side- wait, what?
-
**V, throwing their head into J's lap:** Tell me I'm pretty! 
**J, lovingly stroking their hair:** You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.
-
**J:** Do you love me? 
**V:** We’re literally married. 
**J:** Yeah, but as friends or—
-
**J:** That was so hot, V. 
**V:** I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenerate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets. 
**J:** I'm so in love with you.
-
**V:** You got a date yet J? 
**J:** No... 
**V:** Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!
-
**V:** *seductively takes off glasses* 
**V:** Wow... 
**J:** *blushes* Haha... what? 
**V:** You're really fucking blurry.
-
**J:** Okay, but if your not gay then why are you always holding my hand and kissing me and telling me I’m your girlfriend? 
**V:** Dude- Its satire! 
**J:** THAT'S NOT WHAT SATIRE MEANS!
-
**V:** Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? 
**J:** Peonies, why? 
**V:** 
**J:** Were you going to get me flowers? 
**V:** 
**J:** 
**V:** ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ
-
**J:** BE A BETTER PERSON! 
**V:** WHY?! 
**J:** BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!
-
**V, to J:** We had a date! 
**V:** *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book*
-
**V arguing with J:** HOW DO I LOVE YOU?
**J:** NO BUT YOU HA-... you- love me?
-
**J:** Goodnight to the love of my life, V, and fuck the rest of y'all.
-
**V:** If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.
END OF OILROSE SECTION :’( it was getting a bit too long
**N:** If you got arrested what would be the charges? 
**Lizzy:** Theft. 
**Thad:** Disturbing the peace. 
**Uzi:** Aggravated assault. 
**J:** Arson. 
**V:** All of the above. In that order, probably.
-
**V:** I hate taking off my glasses, because without them, my vision goes from Full HD all the way down to buffering at 240p and I just can't handle that.
-
*V and J playing Minecraft* 
**V:** Oh no, oh no, oh no- 
**J:** What’s wrong? 
**V:** I did a thing. 
**J:** *You regret the thing you dID-* 
**V:** *screams* 
**J:** What the fuck did you do- *sees mass of aggravated Piglin* Damn it- 
**V:** *screams again*
-
**J:** If a demon possessed me, I’d just be like, “Okay, take it from here, good luck man.”
-
**Lizzy:** Ooh, I like your accent, where you from? 
**Random Drone:** I am Liberian. 
**Lizzy:** Oh, my bad. 
**Lizzy, whispering:** I like your accent, where you from?
-
**V:** Pfft, you should meet J, they're such a tsundere. 
**Lizzy:** They... they just stabbed you. 
**V:** So cute.
-
**N:** I think Uzi is in trouble. 
**V:** Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.
-
**V:** I am going to cry. I’m going to cry until I can no longer physically cry anymore because all the oil in my body is gone and I die from overheating. 
**N:** Are you okay? 
**J:** Did you actually just ask them that?  Like, you need that to be answered otherwise you won’t know?
-
*in a group chat* 
**V:** First one to reply is gat. 
**V:** *gay 
**V:** Wait...
-
**V, day-dreaming:** When I see initials carved into a tree with a heart I think it’s so romantic. Two lovers on a date... one of them carrying a knife for some reason.
-
**N:** You don't know anything about me! 
**J:** I know EVERYTHING about you! You are an open book written for very dumb children!
-
**V:** *casually taking four stairs at a time* 
**Uzi, falling behind, taking two stairs at a time:** Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-
-
**Doll:** Эй, Лиззи, я нашел паука. Крутой пацан. Спасибо, что ели комаров. (Hey Lizzy, I found a spider. Cool little lad. Thanks for eating the mosquitos.)
**Doll:** О нет, куда это пропало? (Oh no, where did it go?)
**Lizzy:** DOLL WHAT THE FUCK?!
-
**V:** If you kill me, my teeth only have a 2% drop rate. 
**J:** What? 
**V:** Good luck.
-
**J:** Stressed. 
**V:** Depressed. 
**Uzi:** Possessed. 
**Doll:** Одержимый. (Obsessed.)
**Thad:** Impressed. 
**N:** Chicken breast. 
**Everyone:** ...What? 
**N:** I just wanted to join in.
-
**Uzi:** Do you take constructive criticism? 
**J:** No, only cash or credit.
-
**N:** So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon? 
**V:** We're chopsticks! 
**N:** Well... that's cute! 
**N:** Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly? 
**J:** No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.
-
**N:** My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco. 
**Thad:** My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy. 
**Uzi:** My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance. 
**Lizzy:** My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.
-
**Uzi:** What's wrong with you? 
**J:** Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.
-
**Uzi:** Wait, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies? 
**V:** Believe it or not, babies and condoms are made of different materials. 
**N:** It’s like rock paper scissors. Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby. 
**J:** Rock also defeats baby.
-
**Doll:** Я от природы смешной, потому что моя жизнь — это шутка. (I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke.)
-
**J, making coffee:** This is going to fix everything.
-
**V:** You know, Uzi, you are the sun in my life. 
**Uzi:** Why? Cause I'm smoking hot? 
**V:** Because it hurts my eyes looking at you.
-
**V:** I’m never donating oil ever again. 
**V:** The second you walk through the door, it’s just one invasive question after another! 
**V:** ‘Where did you get it?’ 'Why is it in a bucket?’ I mean, do you want it or not?
-
**Tessa:** If we lose, you’re out of the will. 
**V:** I was in the will?
-
**V:** How does one turn their emotions off? 
**Uzi:** Okay, so first go to settings. 
**Uzi:** I'm a fucking idiot, I thought that said emojis at first. 
**V:** No, I'm still willing to try this, go ahead. I'm at settings, what do I do next?
-
**Lizzy:** Okay, two person huddle. 
**Doll:** Невозможно ютиться вдвоём. Это просто объятия. (You can't huddle with two people. This is just a hug.)
-
**V:** Bye J! Bye Uzi! Bye Lizzy! Bye N! Bye J! 
**Uzi:** You said ‘bye J’ twice. 
**V:** I like J.
-
*The gang responding to being stabbed by a sword* 
**V:** Rude. 
**J:** That's fair. 
**Uzi:** Not again. 
**Lizzy:** Are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?
-
**V:** Sometimes I get so caught up on being gay that I forget I’m actually bi.
-
**V:** I'm so tough, I'm on alert even when there's no danger!
**J:** V, that's PTSD.
-
**V:** Well please don’t let J do anything stupid… 
**Uzi:** Stupid by my standards or yours? 
**V:** 
**V:** Stupid by my mother’s standards. 
**Uzi:** Smart. J will live longer.
-
**J:** There are no friends when playing board games. I am here to win.
-
**V:** I came out here to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now.
-
*The Squad is gathered in the living room for a meeting* 
**V:** *walks in and sits on J’s lap* 
**The Squad:** … 
**N:** Why are you sitting there? 
**V:** There were no free seats
**Uzi:** But we made sure there was enough room for- 
**J:** *hugs V tightly* There are no free seats.
-
**V, trying to impress J:** I re-initialized the entire command structure, retaining all programmed abilities but deleting the supplementary preference architecture. 
**N:** They turned it off and back on again!
-
**J:** Remember, when burying a body, make sure to cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig up! 
**J:** Make sure to follow me for more gardening tips!
-
**Lizzy:** Truth or dare? 
**V:** Truth! 
**Lizzy:** Do you- 
**J:** I dare you to kiss me. 
**V:** *kisses J* 
**Lizzy, to Uzi:** They said “truth”, right?
-
Squad reactions to being called straight: 
**V:** The fuck, no I'm not. 
**J:** Excuse the hell out of you? 
**Lizzy:** Ding dong, you are wrong! 
**Thad:** Who told you that? And why did they lie? For i am bi.
**N:** What? 
**Doll:** *punches the person*
-
**Uzi:** At first I thought you were foolish and incompetent. 
**N:** My apologies for whatever misstep I may have taken to dispel that impression. It was an honest mistake, I swear.
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**Doll:** You’re a horrible person! 
**V:** Maybe. But I’m rich and I’m pretty, so it doesn’t really matter.
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**N:** Don't go to the pod. 
**V:** Why? 
**N:** I saw a spider. 
**V:** Well, did you kill it? 
**N:** It has 8 arms and I only have 2, it's not fair...
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**V:** My life isn't as glamourous as my wanted poster makes it look.
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itsangelicasworld · 2 months
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*・῾ ⁺ Welcome to My Teen Titans DR 🧨 .*
💥 ˗ˏˋ DESCRIPTION .ᐟ
In 2003 Jump City, a team of six teenagers called the "Teen Titans" fight against supervillains threatening their beloved metropolis. Along the way, they must face issues even worse than superpowered antagonists who want them captured; emotions, romance, and navigating the bumpy road of impending adulthood. My DR follows the plot of the show except with my own headcanons, scenarios, etc.
Like the show, there are no secret identities; so our superhero personas are quite literally just us. WHICH MEANS WE'RE TREATED LIKE CELEBRITIES!! People ask for photos/autographs, we have merch, and there's even an entire Teen Titans fandom with forums and fanarts and theories!! Not super relevant to this reality's lore, but thought it'd be cool to mention🤭.
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🔆 ˗ˏˋ ABOUT ME .ᐟ
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NAME : Angelica Sterling
NICKNAMES : Quin, Angel
AGE : 16-years-old
PRONOUNS : She/her/hers
ETHNICITY : Black and Mexican
MBTI : INFP-T
PERSONALITY : Optimistic, courageous, charismatic, empathetic, humorous, witty, mature, impatient, cautious, idealistic
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HERO ALIAS : Quanta
POWER : Quantum Manipulation (basically the ability to manipulate the very foundation of the universe/matter because I'm the main character actually🤭)
SUB-POWERS : Healing, telekinesis, quantum empowerment, shapeshifting
DRAWBACKS : Using too much of my power at one time can lead to fatigue; symptoms range from mild (grogginess, irritability) to severe (headaches, unconsciousness). Additionally, under incredibly high-stress situations or potent emotions, my powers may become unstable or erratic
COMBAT SKILLS : Hand-to-hand, mixed martial arts, kickboxing, and of course using my powers, which include shooting projectiles and making defense constructs
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🍕 ˗ˏˋ RELATIONSHIPS .ᐟ
I made moodboards + added some quotes for all of them here, so check that out if you wanna see their aesthetics🤭
ROBIN : My s/o!! I could write 100 paragraphs about this man but I'll list our tropes instead💪
Tortured hero (on his side, he gets it from Batman ftgyhuhgtfg)
Friends to lovers
Slooowwww burn
Mutual pining
Healing together
STARFIRE : Me and her are SUUCHH girly-girls. Having sleepovers, going to the mall, exploring the city, etc. is literally all we do and I love it. She also really likes ranting about Tamaran to me. Hearing her childhood stories is so sweet🛐
RAVEN : Initially, Raven needed time to warm up to me, but now we have a really close bond. UGGHH I can't wait to meditate with this girl and talk about spirituality. AND I SCRIPTED I'M THE ONLY ONE SHE ALLOWS IN HER ROOM, SO IT'S LIKE HAVING VIP TICKETS FFGHFFG BEAST BOY : This dude is such a jokester but he's so insecure I just NEED TO HUG HIM😭😭. He's like the little brother I never had; super annoying but I couldn't imagine my life without him
CYBORG : Although I'm not as close to Cy as some of the other members, he really means a lot to me!! He's kind of like my big brother. He really likes to teach me about mechanics and I know he's always got my back, and I have his. Even though we can squabble over his attitude sometimes💀
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🦇 ˗ˏˋ OUTRO .ᐟ
Feel free to send in asks about this DR (and really any of them if your curious), they'd be greatly appreciated!! Thank you for reading THIS far <333
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 *+:。.。 ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ. . . . . ╰──╮
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Aesthetics inspired by @/shiftingwithjaidyn's fame DR intro | Dividers by @/strangergraphics-archive
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