#i want to put my own spin/style obvs but i want him to look as canon as possible but i also want him to look good

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

I JUST WANT TO FUCKING DRAW HIM WHY IS IT SUCH A GODDAMN ORDEAL EVERY TIME FOR FUCKS SAKE

[delusionaid]

I went on a longer walk and listened to this on repeat because it's been on my playlist again and it's possibly my favorite out of the accidental Guili soundtrack the artist made. It made me think about Zhongli and his interest in poetry, which I imagine him to still harbor alongside his interest in stories (both telling and hearing). (I say still because it's something Morax is hinted at having enjoyed and I like to imagine it endured.)

[...] Then, to the gentle sound of laughter and poetry from the God-Kings, sparkling, glaze-like, blue flowers began to burst into bloom [...]

Chinese poetry is something very special that I sadly cannot recreate but I find it very fitting for Zhongli - especially compared to the funnier bard-style poems/ballads I envision Venti casually spins. It's poetry that is based in the art of words and word combinations, word families and creating metaphors that pierce your heart in five different ways and create images of unspoilt snowy peaks in your mind as you read of white peach blossoms dancing in the wind.

I would love to write poetry like that but sadly I'm a Venti kind of poet, if at all, but I imagine Zhongli to be able to write a verse or two about things that are dear to him. Such as Guizhong - which leads me to my actual topic and what I wanted to write down so I don't forget: impressions of her he holds on to after her death, many of which still surround him even now and evoke her image as he walks through Liyue. [Since these are my hcs, no need to read them as Guizhong canon, obvs.]

The sound of honest laughter in the street, for you would always turn your head to see the cause of it. The scent of elder in early summer that clung to your hands after you helped the women in the village to wash them once. They looked lovely woven into your hair, the small blossoms like snowflakes against your ashen strands. It is the scent of things just born, eager to live with all their being until their time comes and they wither. The sun's warm touch on my face as it sinks behind the mountains, like your hand on my cheek. Now the mountains have risen too high or I am too late to catch the last rays of light before it settles for the night. The daunting task of counting the stars as they appeared one by one amidst the dusk, that some would see as futile. Not even gods as old as us could grasp each one and though each night they were the same you always cherished them anew. The sensation of putting one foot in front of the other, realizing each step as a potential to learn something new. Even on a road as familiar to you as your own hands a new day, a new step could change the direction of all things.

Might add to these in the future~

[amphtaminedreams]

Sitting Front Row at...(On a Budget Obvs): Lookbook no.15

Hey to anyone reading!

And welcome to my fave lookbook I’ve done in a longggg ass time! Yes, that’s partially because it involved making collages and doing the low effort work of scouring Vogue Runway for “research purposes”, but I promise, that statement wasn’t made out of COMPLETE laziness-I am super happy with it too. It’s been a good use of pre-part-lockdown-lift time in the interim between that brief period of Christmas celebrations and eateries finally fucking opening again because let’s be honest, I always knew I was gonna get distracted by oat milk vanilla lattes and veggie all day breakfasts once I could actually sit down with them at my fave local cafe. You could say I was very much operating on a self-imposed deadline.

The “what I would wear to sit front row at...[insert designer here]” TikTok/Instagram reel trend was something I wanted to get on board with ever since I first saw one and whilst the option of doing my own live action take-I really cannot bear the thought of having to edit footage of myself awkwardly attempting to sit nonchalantly in front of a camera for hours on end-was off the cards considering my complete lack of screen presence, I decided a Tumblr text post would work just as well, and if not even better in a way. Given the absence of the time limitations you face when you’re making a reel or a TikTok I thought it’d be cool to present the looks as part of a mini moodboard for each designer which adds a bit of context to each look even if you aren’t familiar with their past collections and establishes the general vibe of the brand I’m attempting to replicate. Not to sound snotty or as if I am the font of all knowledge on anything high fashion related but even with my amateur knowledge I noticed that as the video trend took off and was adopted by big name influencers, it became less about the average person putting their own personal spin on the aesthetic of the labels we can’t ordinarily afford and more about them building outfits that only vaguely resemble the general public perception of the brand around the real corresponding (and often gifted and thus inaccessible to someone who doesn’t makes thousands for a sponsored post) pieces they own SO I thought I’d take the trend back to its roots and get a bit resourceful. All that being said, in no particular order, here are the outfits I would wear to sit front row at Gucci, Vera Wang, Miu-Miu, Marc Jacobs, Dolce & Gabbana, Brock Collection, Alexander McQueen, Etro, Burberry aaaand Saint Laurent based on their past collections and guess what? They didn’t cost a shit tonne of money :-)

-disclaimer: will include an asterisk before any new purchases if from a high street store though to be honest, I don’t think there are any, we shall see! I do include where I got old purchases from in case anyone wants to search anything on Depop/Ebay-

1. Saint Laurent (formerly Yves Saint Laurent)

-blazer from identityparty on Depop, pleather trousers from Zara, jewellery from Dolls Kill-

I know technically abbreviating Saint Laurent to YSL doesn’t really make much sense anymore given the brand’s name change in 2012, but I’ll always think of it as that in the same way I’ll always associate it with the slightly dishevelled yet simultaneously glitzy rock n’ roll aesthetic. The thing is, whilst YSL hasn’t done anything wildly out of the box for a long time, it’s rare they put a look on the runway that I wouldn’t wear; they never end up being a fashion week standout but the Parisienne take on grunge we’ve seen Anthony Vaccarello establish as his go-to will always have a place in my heart. 

2. Alexander McQueen

-embroidered leather jacket from Ebay (originally Topshop), harness from Amazon, dress from ASOS, boots from Koi Vegan Footwear-

Alexander McQueen is a brand that is pretty much universally liked, from the historically extravagant and groundbreaking shows the man himself put together to Sarah Burton’s more toned down but still beautiful collections. Obviously I didn’t attempt to do justice to the former, so I tried my hand at putting together a look inspired by Sarah’s blend of delicate femininity and nomadic edge, and it went...okay? Like it’s definitely not my favourite of all the looks because it does give off slightly cheap copycat vibes buuut outside of the context of this lookbook it’s cute.

3. Brock Collection

-boater hat from Ebay, midi skirt from morganogle on Depop, corset top from ownmode_, heels from amybeckett1, bag from Primark-

Brock isn’t as well known a brand as most of the others in this list but I adore everything Laura Vassar Brock does and I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to try and channel the vision of one of the OG pioneers of the cottagecore vibe through my own wardrobe. I mean fr, this woman’s work as a steady provider of meadow photoshoot worthy dresses and corsets and skirts is v slept on and I will not stand for it. I will sit in front of a camera and then write a paragraph in my blog post begging anybody who reads to give LVB (an abbreviation I acknowledge is unlikely to catch on because Lisa Vanderpump anybody?) some form of acknowledgement for her services to period romance novel inspired moodboards everywhere.

4. Marc Jacobs

-coat from House of Sunny, white shirt from Retro World Camden, co-ord from Sugar Thrillz, bag from Poppy Lissiman-

If there’s one thing Marc Jacobs always does, it’s COMMITS. TO. HIS. THEME. I just KNOW he has a secret Pinterest with separate boards for every fashion era of the 20th century and he is putting those boards to good use providing us with collections that are as immersive as they are eclectic year in year out. 

5. Miu Miu

-beret from H&M, hair clips from H&M, jewellery from Primark, coat from mollyyemmaa on Depop, shirt from YesStyle, sweater vest from YesStyle, skirt from Depop, diamanté belt from Brandy Melville, shoes from Koi Vegan Footwear-

We all like to talk about Bratz dolls and Monster High dolls and Barbies as fashion inspo but can we all focus on Cabbage Patch dolls for two secs so as to acknowledge the fact that a Miu Miu collection is basically all their fits grown up? And made boujie as fuck? If I want my fix of Wes Anderson meets Scream Queens (what a combo) inspired outfits, if I want prissy and girlish but also glam, if I want to look like a bratty rich girl whose one redeeming quality is her eye for vintage clothes, I know where to look and that is the Miu Miu section of Vogue Runway. 

6. Vera Wang

-blazer as in no.1, velvet bralet from catdegaris on Depop, harness from Amazon, skirt from Ebay, knee high socks from Ebay, lace up boots from Ebay-

Vera Wang’s RTW aesthetic, a blend of the ethereal, ultra-feminine bridal designs she’s known for and British style punk rock influences, is something I feel has only become firmly established in recent years but it is everything I ever wanted and more. I always find myself trying to balance the part of me that loves everything girly and delicate and pretty and the part of me that would love to be in a biker gang and Vera’s collections are always an inspirational reminder of just how well it can be done.

7. Burberry

-coat from charity shop, suit from emmafisher3 on Depop, top from simranindia, shirt underneath from Zara, jewellery from ASOS-

Now I’m not gonna lie, I’m not the biggest fan of Burberry but there have been a few looks over the past few years I’ve really liked and as someone who owns numerous trench coats, high necks and way too much plaid, I thought it’d be an easy one to replicate. Plus, if you can count on Riccardo Tisci for nothing else you at least can rely on him giving you some layering inspo which is very much needed in a country where it literally just snowed in April and where my plans for today have just been cancelled because the iPhone weather app did a Karen Smith and didn’t predict rain for today right up until it started raining so thanks for that one British meteorologists. Your incompetence strikes again.

8. Etro

-corset from Urban Outfitters, vinyl trench coat from Topshop, boots from Ebay, black slip dress from kaoanaoleinik on Depop, fur trim afghan coat from louisemarcella-

Like with Brock Collection, Etro isn’t a hugely well known brand, but it is always one of my favourites-to add a spanner into the works of any attempts to cultivate a firm sense of personal style, I live for the ornate Bohemian look that Etro does so well just as much as I love both grungy and girly pieces, and so I really wanted to include a brand whose collections go down that route. It was a toss-up between this and Zimmerman, the flirtier, free spirit counterpart to the dark romance of Veronica Etro’s designs; her vision really shines through the most when it comes to the brand’s winter collections, imo, and given that I live in a country where winter or some weather state resembling it does seem to take up 70% of the year, I did decide on channelling her work rather than that of the equally talented Nicky and Simone Zimmermann this time round.

9. Dolce & Gabbana

-flower crown from ASOS, tiara from Amazon, earrings from YesStyle, dress from alicealderdice1 on Depop, opera gloves from Ebay, boots from Koi Vegan Footwear-

D&G is a brand I felt really conflicted about doing-I don’t include their current collections in my fashion week reviews based on the actions of designers Stefano Gabbana and Domenico Dolce over the last few years because I don’t want to mitigate the collective effort of fashion critics to push them towards irrelevancy. Though people like to claim the brand has turned a corner since Lucio Di Rosa was brought on board as the manager of celebrity and VIP relations last year (they are as prolific a force on red carpet fashion as ever), we haven’t seen any real meaningful apologies or reparations made by Dolce and Gabbana themselves which once again leaves us in the all too familiar quandary of whether or not we can separate the art from the artist especially when it is far too much of a simplification to only credit the two men for their work given there’s a whole design team behind them. There are a LOT of shitty people working in fashion, the whole industry is a bit of a cesspit if we’re honest, but I don’t think that should stop us from at least being able to appreciate old collections if we make sure we aren’t engaging in any kind of promotion of current works whilst doing so. D&G are a brand of high highs and low lows, with looks that range from hideously ugly to showstoppingly beautiful in a single show-when the looks are good, they are GOOD-and their presence in the fashion world is most definitely felt whether we want it to be or not. It would just be shit to refuse to recognise the existence of some real iconic runway moments, the practical work that went into the ornate detail and opulence that helped cement D&Gs place in sartorial history, the styling that’s made goddesses and fairytale queens out of modern day women as they’ve glided down catwalks, the far more extravagant and, let’s be real, sexier version of our world D&G shows have transported us to in the past. Will I talk about D&G ever again? No, and if you Google the scandals their brand has faced over the past few years, there are more than enough reasons why, but just this once I did want to pay homage to some of the collections, the snippets of which I saw on my Tumblr dashboard back when I was about 13, that first got me into fashion.

10. Gucci

-fur coat from Topshop, clips from Zaful, glasses from Ebay, dress from gracewright246 on Depop, shirt from Boohoo, blazer from charity shop-

Now last but, if you ever read any of my fashion week reviews (the likelihood of someone actually having read one of them and reading this is incredibly, incredibly slim lol, I wouldn’t read me either) you’ll know, definitely not least, is Gucci because Alessandro Michele comes through every!! single!! time!!

The man is truly the king of quirky throwback maximalism and it hurts my heart that a lot of people seem to think of it only as a brand associated with ostentatious displays of wealth. Year after year since Michele was made creative director he has released purposeful, fully-fleshed out collections which unravel themselves to us on the runway like time capsules containing the belongings of the rich and whimsical and yes that can sometimes result in outfits which are *ahem* a bit mismatched but it doesn’t matter because through fashion he manages to take us to a vivid version of the past where people could dress as freely and lavishly as they wanted to, into the wardrobe of a person unaffected by the side-eyeing of others. You get the impression he doesn’t design so much as plays around with some kind of enchanted dress up box and takes inspiration from there and to give that impression is only a credit to his talent-to make outfits so kooky and extravagant look like they were meant to be takes a boldness and genuine love for clothes that I do tend to feel a lot of the big name designers have lost in the pursuit of profit and the necessary placating of the dying customer base that keeps that coming in. Of course I'm not for a second saying Gucci does not care about profit, but at the very least, they have on board a creative director who genuinely has fun with what they’re putting out there and wants to make a statement too and that really shows; you can rest on your laurels and sell tweed boucle jackets to rich old white women for eternity but nobody’s going to mention your brand name and the word groundbreaking in the same sentence ever again unless they’re talking about what it was a century ago, you know (mentioning no names...unless...did I hear someone say Chanel)? That feels like such a shady way to end, lol, but I’m sure said brand will survive-to be fair, they’ve been included in every other What I’d Wear to Sit Front Row At video I’ve seen so although I’m always slagging them off for doing the saaaaame thinggggg year after year, for that same reason their aesthetic is instantly recognisable and so will always be a source of imitation. There are obviously pros and cons to being a brand which constantly reinvents itself but I think it’s totally possible to do that whilst maintaining an overall mission, and Alessandro Michele’s work at Gucci demonstrates that with ease.

Anyway, if you got to here, thanks for reading! I know I’m super behind on this whole TikTok trend and I know a Tumblr post instead of a video is a bit of a cop out but all the real, physically awkward ones out there know that watching yourself back is excruciating lmao, so I hope this does the trick. After this, I’m gonna get back to the reviewing S/S21 collections post though knowing me I’ll probs take a few days to get back into that because I feel like since I left full-time education (RIP me going back in a few months) writing continuously like this for any longer than about 15 mins fries what brain cells I have left. Again, thank you for reading and if you are, sending many good vibes your way! Stay safe!

Lauren x

[maluminspace]

Genre: Fluff 

Pairings: Calum Hood/Male reader

Word Count: 3.2k

Requested: by anon

this is really cheesy but, i would love a blurb about calum bringing his boyfriend around the rest of the band for the first time. seeing all of their reactions. obvs they know about the boyfriend but have never met him.

Trigger Warnings: Strong language, alcohol

A/N: I’m taking a little tiny break from Hogwarts!sos to post this little blurb for all of the guys in the fandom that want a lil imagine. I felt super honoured to get this request and I hope you all enjoy it.

***

Your phone’s perched in your hands, the screen displaying some random twitter thread so that you can pretend to be busy. Luckily, the Uber driver’s feeble attempts at making conversation with you fizzled out after just a few minutes, leaving you to fret over tonight’s party in silence. 

Meeting your boyfriend’s best friends had been on the horizon for a while, ever since Calum had officially asked you to be his boyfriend around a month ago. However, the fact that you’d been anticipating the meeting, isn’t making your anxiety any less crippling.

Perhaps your nerves would be more understandable to most people if you were about to meet your boyfriend’s parents or immediate family. Although, Calum’s band are the closest thing he has to family here in LA. Michael, Luke and Ashton have always been like brothers to the Maori man and that made tonight all-the-more important. Your boyfriend has proudly proclaimed how close he is to his band on numerous occasions throughout your relationship so far. In fact, Calum has unintentionally made tonight feel like a whole lot of pressure, to the point where you’re sure he’ll break up with you if his friends do not instantly love you.

Your mind’s racing with all of the possible outcomes of the party, the vast majority of them ending very badly. It’s entirely possible that you could screw up so badly that you’ll end up alone by the end of the evening. You’re so caught up in the terrifying prospect of being dumped by the sweetest guy you’ve ever dated, that you don’t even notice the car has stopped moving. It’s only when the driver clears his throat and announces, “this is it, man…” That you realise you’ve arrived at Calum’s house.

“Oh!” You splutter, hastily shoving your phone into the pocket of your jeans. “Thank you…”

The Uber driver nods politely at you in the rear-view mirror before you scramble out of the car. A light in Calum’s hallway flickers to life as you swing the car door shut behind you. Duke’s little bark echoes down the quiet driveway before the front door opens.

Calum looks effortlessly beautiful as always, framed by the light in his hallway as he picks up his dog. His latest buzz-cut seemed to have taken away the last of the blue hair dye he’d been using lately, leaving what was left his natural black. The style suited him so well and it gave his simple outfit, made up of skinny black jeans, heavy boots and a stylish white shirt, a kind of edge. The sight of your boyfriend looking so handsome seemed to put your nerves a little more at ease.

“It’s just me, Duke…” You giggle as you make your way over to the house, faintly aware of the cab driving away behind you. “You silly boy, c’mere!” You reach out for Duke, the little fluffy pup helping you to temporarily forget just how much you’re dreading the rest of the evening.

There’s an undeniable fondness in Calum’s eyes as he hands you the tiny dog. “He’s gonna get fur all over your shirt…” He smirks, dragging his eyes over your body for a moment the way he always does. It still brings butterflies to your tummy when Calum subconsciously licks his lips as though he’s remembering what you look like beneath the skinny jeans and simple black shirt.

Shrugging to mask your mess of underlying feelings, you cuddle Duke close. “I didn’t realise you were taking me to meet the queen, Cal.” You quip. “I don’t think your friends will think less of me because I love cuddling your dog.”

Your boyfriend conceded your point with a thoughtful nod. “That’s true, they always leave here covered in his fur, too.” He giggled, pecking a kiss to your cheek as he stands aside to let you in before closing the front door behind you. 

“Are they all dog people, then?” You inquire, trying hard to make a mental checklist of things that you can possibly make small talk about.

“I guess so.” Calum replied, “Well Mike and Luke love all animals really and Ashton tolerates Duke because he knows I love him so much.” 

Adding ‘talk to Michael and Luke about pets’ to your mental list, you ask if Calum’s ready to leave.

Nodding, the bassist grabs a leather jacket from the coat hooks near the door “I just need to pee and then I’m ready to go.” He pecks a quick kiss to your lips before disappearing into the downstairs bathroom.

Keeping Duke close to your chest, you wonder down the hallway towards the kitchen, hoping that keeping your legs moving will stop your brain from racing through more, possibly tragic, outcomes of the night ahead. “Have you got any good advice for me, boy?” You ask the pooch, nuzzling Duke’s head as you pause to look at a framed photo of Calum and his best friends perched proudly on a side table. “I bet you didn’t have to worry about them liking you, did you?” 

The tiny dog wriggles in your hold, urging you to put him down. “Fine, you impatient little pup.” You sigh as you crouch down to let him go. “I thought I could count on you for some good advice.”

Duke barely gives you a second glance before scampering off into the kitchen towards his water bowl. “Guess I’m back to worrying on my own...” You sigh, getting back to your feet and picking up the photo to look at it a little closer. It’s a fairly recent picture, taken within the last year if Calum’s shaven head was to be taken into account. The crowd of people and the flurry of balloons in the background of the photo suggested it was taken at a birthday party or something. It’s obvious by the way the four men have their arms slung casually around each other’s shoulders and the easy smiles on their faces, that they were incredibly close friends. There’s no way that anyone would get away with hurting one of them whilst the other three were around to protect them.

“Ugh don’t look at that…” Calum groaned, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder. “I look gross, I only have it on display because it was a gift from Luke and he’s a sentimental little hoe, he’d cry if he thought I didn’t like it.”

You giggle, trying to keep your fingers from trembling as you place down the photo. “So Luke’s the sensitive one, got it. Any more pearls of wisdom before we go?” There’s a hopeful note in your voice that just couldn’t be fully held back.

Gently spinning you around to face him, Calum smiles encouragingly. “Stop worrying.” He groans softly, cupping your cheek in one of his large hands. “The guys are gonna love you as much as I do.”

It’s highly unlikely that you’ll ever get used to hearing such an incredibly beautiful man saying that he loves you. You melt into his touch, allowing the soft gesture to calm you. “But what if they don’t?” 

Calum’s eyes sparkle with love as he pecks a fond kiss to your lips. “If they’re dumb enough to overlook how amazing you are at first, we’ll just meet up again another day and hope they see you for the treasure you are.” He explains, resting his forehead against yours.

“You’d do all that for me?” You ask, still finding it hard to believe that Calum Hood thinks this much of you.

Your boyfriend nods, “I’d do anything for you, but even those idiots will be able to see how incredible you are, trust me.” He placed a kiss to the end of your nose before pulling you towards the front door. “They’ve been texting me all day saying how excited they are to meet you so I’m not gonna keep them waiting any longer, c’mon.” 

As much as you’d love to stay within the safe solitude of Calum’s pretty house, you know that there’s no point in delaying the inevitable any longer. You allow your boyfriend to lead you outside as you both yell goodnight to Duke before Calum closes the door and locks it.

“I think you’ll enjoy tonight.” Calum smiles as he leads the way onto the street. “Ashton’s parties are always fun, although, you should be prepared to drink your weight in tequila.” He laughs nervously. “I swear he won’t rest until he has to send someone out to the supermarket for another bottle.”

Ashton’s house is only a very short walk away, you know this because Calum’s boasted about how happy it makes him to be close to one of his best buddies more times than you care to count. “So your best friend’s gonna get me hella drunk, huh?” You smirk, loving the way that Calum loops his arm around your shoulders as the two of you make your way along the street. “That wouldn’t be by your instructions by any chance, would it, Hood?”

Gasping in faux offence, Calum hugged you close. “You do a great job of that on your own usually, babe.” He counters.

It’s not really a lie, you have been known to take a shot or three too many on occasions. “I’m definitely no worse than you, Mr I’ve-only-had-six-beers-three-shots-and-a-couple-of-double-whiskeys.” 

Calum plants a kiss to your forehead, giggling a little at your expert retort. It dawns on you suddenly just how much you smile and laugh when you’re with Calum. It’s hard to think of another time in your life that you’ve ever felt this happy, safe and content. 

As you turn into Ashton’s drive, the two of you still giggling, you realise that tonight doesn’t have to be that daunting at all. Calum loves you, against all the odds, he adores you as much as you do him and at the very heart of things, it doesn’t matter at all what anyone else thinks.

Of course that brief moment of clarity and resolution melts away into a fresh flurry of nerves when Ashton appears in his doorway. “You made it!” He chimes cheerfully, stepping aside for the two of you to enter. “I’ll just grab Lu and Mike so that you don’t have to do the whole intro thing more than once.” He smiles at you brightly before turning to Calum. “Go and get your man a drink, Cal! We’ll meet you both in the kitchen in a just a sec.”

As Ashton disappears into his living room, Calum takes your hand, leading you towards the kitchen at the end of the spacious hallway. 

The drummer’s house is bigger than Calum’s, the hallway and kitchen alone seem to be the size of the entire downstairs of Calum’s luxury home.

“Impressive, isn’t it?” Your boyfriend asks when he catches you admiring the sweeping staircase leading up to the first floor. “He has a mini recording studio too, y’know.”

You nod, recalling Calum mentioning it on one of your earlier dates when he’d talked about recording their latest album. “Yeah, very…” You reply. “I hope I can get a full tour later.”

Calum smiled, apparently happy about your interest in his friend’s house. “I’m sure Ash would love to show you around, he’s very house proud.”

The kitchen wasn’t as empty as you expected when you entered the large tiled room. There’s a little group of women hanging around one of the counters, each of them offering Calum a brief wave when they notice him.

“Do you know them?” You ask, starting to feel nervous again at the prospect of being the only one that doesn’t know everyone else at the party.

Calum shakes his head. “Not really… I think the girl with the red hair is in Ashton’s yoga class, I’ve seen her leave the gym a couple of times when I’ve met Ashton for coffee after his workout sessions. I don’t really recognise any of the others.” He leads you over to one of the counters near the back window before grabbing a couple of the red paper cups that are stacked neatly next to an impressive range of alcoholic beverages and mixers. “What do you want to drink, babe?” 

You quickly scan the labels of each bottle displayed on the counter before ultimately reaching for the Jack Daniels. “My old favourite, please…” You reply, handing it to Calum.

As your boyfriend pours the drinks, you survey the room carefully. From what you’ve seen of the house so far, it’s pretty minimalist, there aren’t many decorative items. Everything in this room at least, seemed to have a function and a purpose. You wonder if that’s a conscious decision that Ashton’s made or whether he just hasn’t had the time to fill his house with things he finds interesting or pretty.

“There you go, gorgeous.” Calum chimes as he hands you the red paper cup, now filled with JD and cola, before draping his arm around you again to pull you into his side. “Y’know, I heard you talking to Duke earlier… I had no idea you were that nervous about meeting my friends.” He confessed, placing a kiss to your forehead,. “You’ve got nothing to worry about, I promise, they’ll absolutely love you.”

“You don’t know that for sure.” You pout, taking a sip of your drink. “What if they think I’m too much of a dork, or not fashionable enough, or too boring, or just not right for you…”

Calum cuts you off with a soft kiss which you instantly melt into. He holds you close for a long moment before finally whispering “There’s no such thing as ‘too much of a dork’, plus you can never be dorkier than any of my friends, I’m literally the only cool one.”

Giggling, you allow Calum to kiss you again, melting away more of your anxiety. You were interrupted a second later by someone clearing their throat. You pull away hastily enough that a little of your drink spills over onto your hand. You barely get a chance to wipe it on your jeans before you notice that you’re suddenly surrounded by the rest of your boyfriend’s band.

“Put him down for a minute, mate!” Michael smirks at Calum, clapping his friend on the shoulder fondly. “How are we supposed to get to know your new man if you’re attached to him like a fucking limpet?” 

“Yeah, keep it clean, lads, we don’t want Ashton’s party turning into a huge orgy…” Luke quipped, “not this early, anyway!”

You laugh, your cheeks blushing with embarrassment at being caught making out with Calum. It’s not the first impression that you’d hoped to give.

“Ignore all of these idiots…” Ashton sighs, shaking his head. “I’m Ashton, by the way, the only one of Calum’s friends that matters.” 

“Ugh, would you listen to him?” Luke huffs indignantly as he nudges Ashton’s hand out of yours. “Our Ash has such an inflated ego. The truth is, he’s much less fun than me and Mike, so don’t listen to him.”

Another chuckle escaped you as you shake Luke’s hand finally introducing yourself to the group before deciding that the best way to get on their good side is to compliment them. “Calum’s told me a lot about all of you…” You begin, still trying to fight the anxiety threatening to overwhelm you. “I don’t think any of you sound less fun than the others.”

“Ooohh, what stories has he been telling you?” Michael asks, his green eyes twinkling with mischief. “I promise that any embarrassing things he’s told you about me aren’t true! I’m the absolute fucking king of elegance and grace.”

Despite the fact that you’ve only been with the band for a minute or so, their individual personalities become abundantly clear and you instantly understand why each of them mean so much to Calum. The way your boyfriend regards his friends with such a sincere fondness is enough to let you know that you’re in the presence of three of the most important people in his life. That prospect doesn’t seem as terrifying now that you’ve met them, though.

“If you believe that, you’ll believe anything!” Calum interjects, pulling you into his side again, a silent display of his love and support. 

“Wow, the rhythm section are really coming for us tonight, Mike.” Luke jokes as he turns his attention back to you, his caramel coloured curls falling into his face as he turned his head. “I hope you’re not gonna be following your boyfriend’s example, mate…”

Before you have a chance to reply, Michael muscles his way in between you and Luke, sliding an arm around your shoulders as he did so. “You definitely won’t be on Calum’s side when we tell you about how he cheats at like, every game ever, computer games and board games alike… He’s a fucking sore loser.”

You already know this fact, having been told as much by his sister, Mali, when she’d insisted on speaking to you after you’d accidently walked in on her FaceTime chat with Calum a couple of weeks back. “So I’ve heard.” You reply, side-eying your boyfriend in mock disgust. “I guess that’s why he’s refused to play anything with me so far.”

“Yeah, it’s ugly, bro.” Luke confirms, his face set into a pretend-serious expression. “It might undo all of the hard work he’s put into making you think he’s the sweetest guy on earth.”

Just as Michael opens his mouth to add to Luke’s statement, Ashton cuts him off. “Well there’s no time for games tonight, this is a grown-up party. I know that's hard for you two dorks to process but if you harass my V.I.P guests anymore, I’ll throw you both out.”

It feels nice to be addressed as a V.I.P by the party host and you smile thankfully. 

“How come Hood gets to be a V.I.P?” Michael pouts, “Since when did you love him more than us?”

“Since forever.” Ashton replies flatly, “He’s much less annoying than you and the bread stick, now go and get my good tequila from the liquor cabinet so we can really get this party started.”

“Why don’t you get your favourite to do it?” Luke asks sulkily. 

Calum shakes his head, a smug expression on his handsome face. “Because I have a date.” He replies, “You know the rules…”

“Actually, that’s a good idea.” You cut in. “I want to hear more embarrassing stories about you, without you interrupting every few seconds.” Your sudden burst of confidence surprises the whole band, including Calum who merely blinks at you in disbelief for a long moment.

“You want me to leave you alone with this lot?” Calum asks sceptically, apparently still worried that you’ve lost your senses.

Nodding firmly, you gently untangle yourself from Calum’s arm and nudge him away playfully. “That’s what brothers do best isn’t it? Embarrass one another?”

Your boyfriend visibly melts at your words, his dark brown eyes sparkling with love at the way you just described his best friends as his family. “I guess so…”

“I like you a lot!” Michael grins fondly at you as he tightens his arm around your shoulders. “Are you any good at playing bass? I think it might be time we replaced Calum.”

Tag list: @clffrd​ @byxthexway​ @afuckingunicornn​ @painkillerash​ @moonchildsblack​ @calumbbyyy​ @h0tsos​ @valentinelrh​ @sexgodashton​ @megz1985​ @myfalsedevotion​ @aulxna​ @honeyedlashton​ @tea4sykes​ @ghostofmashton​ @fairyintheglass​ @cashworthy​ @cashtonasfuck​ @opheliaaurora23​ @5sosnsfw​ @theagenderwhocriedwolf​ @myloverboyash​ @easiercake​ @irwinkitten​ @cxddlyash​ @malumamongmen​ @cashtonasff5sos​ @iovehemmings​

[midoriyaizukustan-inactive]

anyway now that ive been in the fandom for a bit i think its time i called myself out and say that i. Love shiniida

hear me out. neutral good, disaster bi iida with true neutral, functional gay shinsou? we stan.

like just consider for a second. shinsou goes to talk with midoriya to get some closure abt their fight in the sports festival and obv talking to midoriya means having to be near his two besties iida and uraraka

anyway midoriya draws shinsou in like the sun he is and so he ends up kinda friends with iida and uraraka as well. along the line they become full-fledged friends esp when he starts doing extra training w them in addition to the training hes gettin from aizawa so he can “”keep up with you hero course nerds”” (in his own words)

anyway so he starts hangin out with the izucrew more and consequently. iida.

iida is the mom/dad friend (depends on his mood that day which one he is) so he usually organizes some hangouts that r also study groups. and now that shinsou is his friend, iida invites him as well

im thinkin eventually iida and shinsou figure out that iida has a strong suit in math but is weak in language, but shinsou is vice versa, so they decide to arrange extra study sessions so they can get the extra tutoring they feel they need

and finally,,,,the pining™ begins

im honestly not quite sure How they fall for each other or how long it would take buuuuuuut……,.,.

iida would definitely admire shinsou’s drive and determination and i feel he’d be rlly charmed by him once he got passed shinsou’s distant, kinda hostile first impression. like once he got passed shinsou’s kinda defenses and saw the tired, funky dude he is that loves cats and sweaters, iida’s poor bi heart wouldnt stand a chance, not even a second. iida would definitely think shinsou’s love for cats/all things cute is adorable. also i think iida would be exasperated w shinsou’s hair but like in the Fondest Way possible. at first he’s like “shinsou u gotta try to brush ur hair!” and shinsou is like “u can try it wont do anything” and hes right it Doesnt. but eventually the messy style grows on iida and he finds he wants to run his hands thro it,,,also iida at first kinda doesnt get shinsou’s sense of humor but he eventually learns to love it

shinsou on the other hand would be softly disgruntled abt how iida cares for him with what i call the Aggressive Affection. cause iida is just like “shinsou! its past 12 am! i would advise you get some rest now” and he wont stop badgering him until shinsou at least turns off his phone and like “shinsou! i made u breakfast bc u slept in late! u can eat it while we walk to class together!” and hands him some cute lil breakfast thing that keeps shinsou’s hands warm while they walk in the morning air. and at first shinsou is like “bruh” but eventually knowing that iida cares so much makes him feel all warm inside,,,,,, and shinsou Would 100 percent find iida’s chopping motions and general gestures he makes when he talks Adorable As Fuck. and he thinks its sweet that iida cares so much abt helpin him academically as well as heroically

anyway i think shinsou would realize his feelings first bc iida is,,,a disaster,,,and he would freak the fuck out becuz oh shit thats quite the distraction from becoming a hero student

iida notices when shinsou starts to avoid him and he gets really sad :[ and it rlly starts to bother him so he tries asking shinsou what he did wrong but shinsou is always in a flustered panic and its like “OHHH LOOK AT THE TIME GOT,,,GENERAL DEPARTMENT THINGS TO DO,,,,GOTTA GO BYE IIDA” so when asking shinsou doesnt work iida tries to ask his friends if they can think of anything but theyre just as confused as he is bc they didnt even realize shinsou was distancing himself. this just makes iida feel even worse bc that means its Just Him that shinsou’s avoiding so its Clear that he did do smth wrong

eventually he calls tensei abt it and tensei kinda calms him down abt it thank you tensei

meanwhile aizawa is like “what,,,is wrong with my child” bc hes not dumb hes observant as hell and he knows shinsou’s been acting kinda skittish lately esp during training so eventually after training one day aizawa sits him down and is like “im not letting u leave until u tell me why ur so freaked out lately” shinsou tries to fight to escape but aizawa is a Pro Hero and shinsou has only been training for a couple months now so he doesnt make it lmfao rip eventually shinsou gets out that he has a crush (how embarrassing poor guy probably wanted to spontaneously combust when he admitted it) and that he doesnt know what to do with it and aizawa is just like “wow mood”

no but really aizawa calls up mic and is like “hi yes hello ur the distinguished gay in this relationship can u give our dumb son some advice”

so mic swoops in and probably embarrasses shinsou a lil bit but overall shinsou accepts his feelings a little more after the talk so thats Something thanks mic

anyway so this pining goes on for a while longer with iida feeling :[ and shinsou feeling bad but like not knowing what to do dkjfjkf. like after the talk w mic it isnt nearly as bad as it was but shinsou’s still awkward and iida can still tell smth abt their relationship has gotten a little stilted :[ but then the joint training exercise happens and its reveled that shinsou is GOING INTO THE HERO COURSE BABEY!!!!!!!

iida is So Excited that he lifts our boy up and spins him around!!! and shinsou is so FUCKING gay he doesnt know how to function once hes put back on the ground smfh so much for being a functional gay huh shinsou

anyway iida starts apologizing profusely like “im so sorry shinsou my excitement just got the better of me and i hope i didnt make you uncomfortable but im so happy for you-!” and shinsou’s like “im in love with you” iida probably passes out lbr

no but both FREAK OUT over that confession and like its so fucking funny bc it was in front of EVERYONE and aizawa just fucking facepalms bc god why does his dumb kid have to take after him so much smh

anyway EVENTUALLY iida and shinsou calm down and before shinsou can Sprint the Fuck Away, iida is like “i!!!!! love you too!!! not as just a friend!!!” and shinsou hides his face in his mask/capture weapon and iida is just kinda bashfully holding his helmet close to his chest and HHH I LOVE MY BOYS………….

anyway they talk and shinsou is like “yeah so im sorry for being weird this past month and a half its because feelings” and iida is like “OHHHH i thought i did something wrong omg” and so they clear that up w each other and start dating. and they are. Adorable. THE couples’ goals in the izucrew. u wish u were as cute as them

iida reading on the couch w shinsou layin down on him?? iida reading TO him while he’s layin down on him in an attempt to help lull him to sleep??? oh my fucking god. thats so good. shinsou brings snacks to their study dates (and theyre actually iida’s idea of regularly scheduled dates someone help shinsou djkfjk) to make sure that they both actually get some food in them. TRAINING TOGETHER,…,..both get v flustered at first but then they get used to it,,im soft

just….my boys….thank you for your consideration. uhh stan shiniida

[phancystuff]

Trying to Remember How it Feels (To Have a Heartbeat) 2/7

Pairing: Dan/ Phil (Phan) Summary: Dan moves into a new apartment in London and, though it’s a step up from his old apartment, his landlord gives him strange warnings while he’s touring the place– something about the last renters leaving because of ghost sightings. But, Dan doesn’t believe in the supernatural. He quickly changes his tune when he meets Phil Lester, the ghost haunting his apartment. Well, if haunting means quickly becoming the best friend he’s ever had. (Title from Harry Styles’ song Two Ghosts) Notes: Part 2 of my Spooky Week Special! This fic is almost 100% already written and I plan on updating it every day until Halloween. Please note that, although this fic has the warning of major character death, it is not in any way graphic. Tags/ Warnings: ghost au, Halloween, major character death (obv. it’s a ghost au lol), depictions of panic attacks, angst, fluff, HAPPY ENDING, mentions of suicide (it happens in a movie they watch)

Read it on A03 Part One

When Dan woke up, it was completely dark outside. Dan pushed himself up on his elbows, momentarily reflecting on what a weird dream he had. There had been an emo ghost, a panic attack, a viral video. It had all felt so real.

“Good morning sleeping beauty!” Dan jumped and his head snapped up to the source of the voice. So it wasn’t a dream, then. Phil was sitting at Dan’s computer chair. Hovering over his computer chair. Despite the hovering, the office chair was spinning around and Phil was giggling gleefully. “Or should I say, good night?”

“I thought you could only manipulate electricity?” Dan adopted a cool voice, deciding the only course of action was to hide his fear. Phil didn’t seem dangerous at any rate.

“Oh, no! Objects are a little harder, but I’ve had tons of practice over the years. From what I understand, ghosts get stronger the longer they're around. Of course, I’ve only learned this from experimenting. When I first, ah, became a ghost, I couldn’t even manifest myself physically.”

Dan looked thoughtfully at Phil, considering his physical form. “So, you have to purposefully manifest yourself?”

The spinning stopped and Phil looked back at Dan. “Yeah. It used to take a lot of concentration and I could only do it for a couple minutes at a time. Now, I don’t really have to think about it. After that, I started experimenting with electricity. I can strengthen wifi signals, too.” Phil grinned, “I’m a pretty handy roommate!”

Dan pinched the bridge of his nose, “I can’t say I’ve ever wanted a roommate.”

“What?” Phil’s eyes widened comically. “I’ve only ever wanted a roommate! It’s been so boring to be alone in this place! I love when Paul brings new people around.”

Dan’s stomach growled loudly and he thought about what was in his fridge at the moment. It wasn’t much; mostly various sauces and condiments. Dan took out his iPhone and opened up the app to order Indian takeaway. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Phil disappearing from the office chair.

“Meep! that iPhone is so thin and the screen’s so big!” Dan flinched and whipped his head to look at Phil, now sitting cross-legged on the bed next to him. His first thought was a panicked string of swears at Phil’s sudden appearance. His second thought was that Dan couldn’t believe there was a ghost in his apartment that said ‘meep’ unironically.  “Oops, sorry! Transporting is another bad habit I have. I’ll walk around like an alive person.”

“S’ok,” Dan mumbled, thumbing around on his app. “But, yeah, I guess you haven’t seen an iPhone in a while.”

“Not up close! Oh man, look at it! May I?” Phil held out his hand and Dan looked at it nervously.

“Will you be able to hold it?”

“I think so! It’s not really hard for me to hold objects anymore, but if I drop it, it’ll just go on the bed. Just don’t give me a baby!” Phil giggled and Dan slowly placed the iPhone in Phil’s palm. The ghost looked down at it and scanned the app that Dan was interacting with. “Indian food, huh? Yum.” Dan scrutinized Phil’s face. It looked sad. “I used to love Indian food,” he whispered.

“Do you want to order for me?” Dan asked, trying to get the smile back on Phil’s face and not really understanding why he cared.

“Can I?!” Phil’s eyes were round, all sadness had been obliterated from their depths. Dan couldn’t help but chuckle, albeit a little uncomfortably.

“Of course. It’s nothing special for me, but you haven’t hand a phone in your hand since--” Dan cut himself off, realizing he had no idea when Phil had died. Was it polite to ask? If their places were switched, Dan would probably find his own death to be a sensitive point of conversation.

“2010,” Phil murmured back, completely lost in the application. If he thought a food app was captivating, Dan couldn’t wait to show him Crossy Roads. Dan thought back to 2010. What was he doing then? Starting his first year at uni and working on a law degree. That had only lasted a year before Dan had realized how miserable he was. He had taken a year out and never gone back.

“2010 was when I made my first YouTube video,” His channel had steadily taken off to Dan’s complete surprise. At first, he had worked other odd jobs to be able to afford his crappy first apartment, but as his channel grew in popularity, he was able to rely solely on YouTube. Dan smiled fondly; all in all, 2010 had been a beginning for him. The smile dropped off his face when he realized that it had been an end for Phil.

Phil nodded politely. “That’s really cool. What year is it now?” Phil held the phone back out to Dan. The food had been ordered and the estimated time of arrival on the screen read 30 minutes.

“Oh! It’s 2017. It’s May.”

“Hmm. Almost summer? Autumn is my favorite, though, mostly because of Halloween.” Phil gripped his feet and rocked back and forth on his bum. The ghost was growing on Dan. He might even call him adorable; but it was pretty weird to find a ghost to be endearing, wasn’t it?

“I love halloween, too. I’ve always wanted to do a baking video or something for my channel. But it doesn’t really fit the Daniel Howell aesthetic.” Dan did air quotes with his fingers. “So I’ve never done one.”

“You should! That would be something I’d wanna watch.” Phil flopped back on the bed, pulling his feet up with him.

“Maybe,” Dan said, knowing full well that he probably wouldn’t. He probably wouldn’t even put it on Daniel Howell 2, his second channel. He might livestream him trying something that he had baked on YouNow, but people probably wouldn’t be interested. Dan had always felt like there was a specific video that his viewer wanted to see from him and, if he wanted to stay relevant, that was the type of video he would put out. Wanting to change the subject, Dan pulled up Crossy Roads on his iPhone. “Now, Phil, do I have something to show you!”

The two boys, one alive and one dead, played Crossy Roads back and forth until Dan’s food showed up. Dan had always been competitive and it didn’t help that Phil had declared this to be a “DAN VS PHIL! 3 ROUNDS EACH, BRING IT ON, DANIEL!” Dan’s head was in his hands after immediately killing his korean barbeque character by jumping into a bus, and getting a score of three, when his doorbell rang. He left the phone with Phil and ran to get his food, stomach grumbling loudly. He set everything up on the dining room table and only jumped a little when Phil was suddenly there, sitting at one of the chairs.

“59! Hah, I win!” Phil proclaimed, placing the phone on the table and spinning it around for Dan to see.

Dan glanced at it and huffed. “Fine, I call hacks.”

“Sore loser!”

“Sore winner!”

Phil giggled and watched Dan eat. “God, I miss eating. Or being able to smell it, at least.”

Dan nodded sympathetically, mentally filing away the detail in his folder labeled ‘ghost facts.’ He figured that it was easier to learn about Phil and live with him, rather than try to ignore him. The fear he had for the ghost was slowly draining away, only leaving the recognition that he seemed like a cool guy. Dan was open-minded. Sure his whole concept of reality had been shaken to the very core and he would probably have an existential crisis about it later, but for now, he was contented to make conversation. Dan suddenly remembered the video he had made this afternoon that brought them to this point. He groaned. “Phil, we have a problem.”

“What’s that?” Phil looked at him anxiously, the iPhone spinning in front of him. Dan tried not to stare at the supernatural trick being done way too casually right in front of him.

“Well, the video you showed up in is going viral. Everyone is tweeting me, expecting that I’ve been viciously murdered.”

“Oh, um, that is a problem.” Phil bit his lip, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “Hey! I know! You could reveal to everyone that it was a hoax? A clever editing trick?”

Dan nodded thoughtfully. It was a pretty smart idea. It was totally unlike Dan to do anything of the sort, but he could bullshit another video, claiming that it was a social experiment about virality and people’s belief in the supernatural and blah blah blah. Dan told Phil his idea and the ghost nodded enthusiastically. “Perfect! That way, you’ll have your viral hit, your fans won’t feel too betrayed, and you don’t have to explain that there’s an actual ghost in your apartment.” Phil giggled. “Imagine that video!”

Dan laughed with the ghost. “Yeah, I’d do it like a vlog! A Day in the Life of Dan and Ghost Phil.” Dan reached across the table and grabbed the spinning phone, holding it up over his head and pretending to vlog: “Hey internet! Dan here! And I’m joined by none other than the late amazingphil. He’s decided to collab with me beyond the grave.” Phil’s giggles turned into body-bouncing belly laughs and Dan could have sworn he saw tears leaking down the ghost’s cheeks.

“What can I say? I’m was just dying to collab with you, Dan.” Phil forced the pun out between gasping breaths and chuckles.

Dan dropped his phone and groaned loudly into his hands. “Nooo, that’s was so bad! I hate you.” Dan peeked through his fingers to watch Phil’s tongue poke out between his teeth. The two boys’ laughter slowly died down and Dan shoveled food into his mouth. “I’m making puns with a ghost right now.” Dan blinked a couple times, wondering if the image of Phil would disappear.

Phil looked on sympathetically. “It’s gotta be weird.”

“It is.” Dan looked thoughtful. “But not a bad weird.” Phil looked hopeful. Dan wondered how he-- someone whose biggest fear was of the supernatural-- could be so cool with this. Only a few hours before, the apparition had given him a major panic attack. Dan looked back at Phil’s shining eyes and decided it was because Phil was completely harmless. It was silly to have fear for something harmless.

***

Dan’s video explanation of his “hoax” went over relatively well. Only a few of his viewers were really angry, commenting that he was only using them for views. Dan wanted to reply to them and say that most YouTubers made videos in order for people to view them, but decided that he didn’t want to feed the trolls. He was able to continue with life as normal.

Well, as normal as living with a ghost could get. Dan didn’t leave the apartment very often-- why would he? His whole life happened inside the internet. Other than visiting a few friends and grocery shopping, Dan mostly stuck around the flat. This meant that a lot of time was spent with his new roommate.

Dan had been learning a lot about Phil. They surprisingly had quite a few similar interests. Muse, Studio Ghibli, video games, horror movies, punk pop, Kill Bill. Dan had a blast showing Phil all the movies, shows, and video games he had missed in the seven years that he had been dead. Dan could never get tired of the look of awe on Phil’s face when he commented on the graphics of Fallout 4 or the animation style of Big Hero Six. He was especially interested in how much the internet and YouTube had changed. The fact that people made a living on the video-sharing site. He watched a ton of YouTube, catching up on all the old people he used to be subscribed to and getting acquainted with new YouTubers. Phil expressed his sadness to Dan when he discovered that some of his favorite internet personalities were no longer making videos.

Dan noticed that Phil didn’t watch any of the ‘goodbye amazingphil’ videos that had been made by fans or fellow YouTubers. Dan had watched a few, but they did nothing but make him sad. Dan was actually surprised that no one had recognized Phil from his Quick and Dirty video, but apparently Phil had been hidden in the shadows just enough for anyone to notice how much the apparition looked like the late amazingphil. Dan was glad; he didn’t want to deal with the wrath of sad fans wondering why Dan would be sick enough to fake edit amazingphil in the corner.

Dan also watched all of Phil’s old videos, finding him very endearing. Phil was a fantastic storyteller and Dan found himself captivated by Phil’s silly life. The videos were obviously old-- the camera quality, editing style, music, and genre. Despite this, Dan still watched every single video. He told himself that it was to get to know his ghost friend better.

It had been a couple months. Dan had noticed that the two boys talked about everything, except the gigantic elephant in the room. Dan still had no idea how Phil had died. The goodbye videos Dan watched told him nothing; no one seemed to know what had happened to amazingphil, other than an untimely death. It made sense that none of Phil’s family members would think to update a YouTube audience, especially when dealing with their own grief. Dan had googled around a little bit, still finding nothing about the mysterious death of Phil Lester. Dan figured it was rude to ask, but it didn’t stop his curiosity gnawing at him, especially when he discovered that the last video on the amazingphil channel was one shot in this very apartment. Dan had been waiting to watch Phil’s last video because, when he finally watched it, it would mean that there were no more amazingphil videos to watch, which made Dan feel almost empty in a way.

But, eventually, one day in mid July, he couldn’t take the curiosity. Dan pulled up the video on his phone, put in earphones, and clicked play. He smiled at the title, “The Jellybean Centipede” and the opening shot of Phil biting a balloon. In the video, Phil explained that he had finally gotten his very own apartment. Dan watched the tour of Dan’s current apartment, noticing the differences and similarities. The video wasn’t different from Phil’s others ones-- the lion was still there, Phil still made heart hands at the camera, and he still said lolrandom things. Knowing it was the last video ever on his channel made Dan incredibly sad. He watched the last shot, of Phil sitting on and popping the giant balloon that one of his viewers had given him, over and over again. It was a ridiculous thing to leave YouTube with, but it was so fitting of Phil. Dan scrubbed at a tear that threatened to leave the corner of his eye. He didn’t dare look at the comments.

“Dan! Hey, Dan! Where did you put your copy of Mario Kart for the switch?” Phil floated into Dan’s room, standing at the foot of his bed. Phil had been better about not transporting randomly, moving around more naturally for Dan’s sake. Dan slammed the phone face down onto his bed. “Oh, are you ok? I didn’t interrupt something did I?” Phil looked embarrassed and looked down at his multi-colored, mismatched socks.

“Phil, how did you die?” Dan slapped his hand over his mouth, eyes widening in shock. Phil’s head jerked up to look at Dan.

“Dan…” It almost sounded like a warning. It was the only time in these short months that Dan felt nervous around Phil.

“I’m sorry, it’s just, you can’t expect me not to be curious. You were 23 when you died, right? That’s so young. You had just gotten a new apartment. You finished school. Your YouTube channel was doing really well. What happened?”

“Dan, really, I--”

“You were 23! Only three years younger than me now. That’s scary, Phil. So fucking scary. I think about dying all the time. I think about what I’m contributing to the world and I stress about what I’m doing with my life--”

“--Please, Dan--”

“--but I only ever think about dying when I’m really old. And then you come along and you were 23 and you won’t even tell me what happened! I thought we were friends and--”

“Dan!” Dan jumped, looking at Phil. His voice had turned loud, deep, powerful, and a little bit unhinged. The lights in Dan’s bedroom flickered and papers swirled around the room, surrounding the ghostly figure in a whirlwind of paper. He slowly rose higher and higher off the ground, until he was looking down at Dan. Phil sounded and looked every bit of the ‘scary horror movie ghost’ in that moment and Dan was practically shitting himself. “I’m serious, I don’t want to talk about this.”

Dan started shaking, not recognizing the eyes of his ghost friend. They had gone dark, emphasizing the paleness of Phil’s undead skin. Shadow patterns danced across his unnatural face. “Y-yeah. S-s-sorry Phil. I’ll stop, p-please, don’t hurt me.”

Papers fluttered down to the floor and the lights came back on. Phil dropped to the floor, his eyes cleared, and the shadows left his face. He looked guilty. “No,” Phil whispered, staring at Dan with shining eyes. “Please understand this, Dan, I’d never hurt you.” Dan pushed off the bed, trembling violently. He wasn’t going to have another panic attack. He wasn’t going to have another panic attack.

“Of course you won’t. It’s ok, Phil. I’m going to just, just.” Dan ran out of the room, grabbing his keys and wallet from the dining room table. He threw open the front door and rode the elevator down into the lobby of the building. Outside, he immediately felt sweat spring to his skin in the hot London summer air. Desperately, he tried to reign in his lungs and breathe evenly. He never knew that Phil could get so scary. Maybe Dan should be careful with the ghost. Maybe he should be afraid of him.

Dan walked aimlessly for hours, going nowhere in particular, but relishing the occasional breeze against his face. His apartment had been feeling like an alternate reality, lately. It felt nice to be reminded that nature was still its wonderful, albeit cruel, self. Dan looked around for the first time since leaving the apartment, noticing his surroundings. His feet had taken him to a closeby park. Dan sat down on a bench and stared out at the trees, which were a little creepy in the encroaching dark of the evening. His breathing slowed. He knew that, sooner or later, Dan would have to return to the flat and face Phil.

He thought back to the conversation that had made Phil so angry. Of course it had made him angry. Dan had asked the ghost about his most painful, personal memory, without even warning Phil that Dan had been thinking about it. Phil had purposefully been skirting around the information and Dan had rudely barreled past his hesitations. Dan felt like a dick. He remembered the flickering lights and whirlwind circling Phil’s rising form. That had been a little unnecessary. And a lot terrifying.

He sighed and heaved himself off the bench. This was silly; he couldn’t run from Phil. They hadn’t had any problems yet. In fact, it had been incredibly nice to finally live with someone, even if that someone had a non-corporeal form. Everyone had their moments, right? Everyone got angry from time to time; of course Phil would have those times as well. It just so happened that Phil had a little more power over the world than the average human. Dan shivered, thinking about Phil flashing him those lifeless eyes again.

They had already discussed the extent of Phil’s powers, though, and Dan was pretty sure there was nothing Phil could do to hurt Dan. In fact, from what they both understood, Phil could only successfully interact with things that weren’t alive. Things without a heartbeat. Although, Phil hadn’t told Dan what he meant by “successful.” Dan rubbed his arms, the cool evening air chilling the remaining sweat on his skin. He began to trudge back to his flat-- their flat. Dan knew Phil wouldn’t hurt him. Phil was a good person. He was a good friend. Dan had been silly.

Dan arrived back and rode the elevator up to his flat. He pushed the key in and prepared himself for anything: Phil could have completely disappeared, choosing to abandon his physical form for the moment. Phil could be right there waiting at the door, wanting to apologize to Dan. Dan breathed deeply and opened the door, only to be enveloped by the delicious smell of Italian food. Dan looked over into the kitchen to find Phil stirring at a pot on the stove. Ok, Dan wasn’t prepared for that. The ghost turned around at the sound of the front door opening. “Dan! Thank god, I was so worried!” Phil turned down the temperature and bounded over to Dan. Dan would never get used to the way Phil moved; he floated but that didn’t stop him from skipping, running, dancing, and shuffling. His feet just never touched the floor. Phil stopped in front of Dan, reaching out his hands to Dan’s face. “You didn’t have a panic attack did you?” He seemed to catch himself, realizing that there would be no use in trying to touch Dan. His arms dropped to his sides.

Dan melted at the sound of Phil’s concern. “Fuck, Phil, I’m sorry for running away. And I’m sorry for bringing up such a sore subject like an absolute twat. I didn’t have a panic attack; don’t worry.”  

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am for going ghost on you.” Phil’s eyes shined and his bottom lip stuck out in the slightest of pouts. Dan focused his eyes on the lip, wondering if Phil even realized how adorable he was sometimes. “I will never ever hurt you. I will try really hard not to be a moody ass.”

“Did you just make a Danny Phantom reference?” Dan whispered, eyes drifting up from Phil’s lips, finally.

“Yes!” Phil clapped gleefully. “Now, I made you dinner to make it up to you. The only thing is you’re gonna have to taste test for me because food tastes like nothing when I put it in my mouth and I want to make sure I put enough garlic in there.” Dan followed his friend into the kitchen, marveling at how the best friend that he had ever had was dead.

Chapter Three

[vmheadquarters]

What Goes Around... (Part 19)

This is PART 19 of a story that is being told in segments by twenty-six different authors, campfire-style. Each author will take over the story with no prior planning and then pass it on after putting their own spin on it! Expect the unexpected! :)  You can check our vmhq campfire tale tag for all of the previous installments or read the story as it develops on AO3. — Part 19 is written by @marshmallowtasha 

 [Part 18]

“Now we know why Lydia disappeared,” Veronica sighs, dropping her head in frustration and spinning around to face the others.

Logan takes a quick step and grabs Jeff by the collar, pushing him up against the wall.  “OK, asshole.  I’m done with the Scooby Doo act.  Where is she?”

Jeff pales, his feet shuffling as he hangs a few inches in the air.  “I --”

Veronica swats Logan’s arm, not particularly convincingly. “Dear, put the bad man down.  It’s poor form to kill the guy who has the answers to your questions. Besides, you’ve used up your lifetime allotment of get out of jail free cards.”

When Logan drops Jeff the few inches to the ground, he smirks into his face as he backs away to let Veronica step past him.  “You were better off with me.  This one’s feistier than she looks.” He pinches her butt to make her jump, proving his point.

“Damn it, Logan, it’s not the time!” Veronica glares at him and then turns to Jeff, shooting off question after question.  “How big is the safe? Could she carry it far?” Does she have help? Where would she go? Who’s the Telly Monster? Who’s --”

Logan cuts her off.  “You opted for a Sesame Street reference? We really do need to get you to a hospital.”

“-- your boss?” Veronica finishes her rant as she covers Logan’s mouth with her hand. She turns to him.  “Can you please make yourself useful and drag his sorry ass upstairs? We need to stop running around and figure this out logically. There’s something we’re not seeing.”

“Sir, yes sir!” With a smart salute and a click of his heels, he drags Jeff up the stairs and the others follow.  

Everyone settles in the library. Dick stands to one side and slightly behind a leather couch on which sits Rooks, now more or less conscious, and Jeff.  Wei stands by the other end.  A still moaning Ruby is huddled in an overstuffed chair. Mac sits at a desk, poking at a tablet miraculously appearing out of nowhere. Veronica paces back and forth, running her hands over her face to clear her thoughts, while Logan hovers by the window, looking out for the pink-crazed man.

“This would be so much easier with my white board,” she mutters then takes a deep breath and begins running down the information they already know.

“OK folks, here’s what we’ve got.  First, there’s some kind of terrorist attack on San Diego tied to this pink Kool-Aid stuff that makes people superhuman. Second, Lydia made off with the safe that has the only known antidote, but no key to get it out. Third, the Van Vliet family business is not wine, but drugs. Ruby is somehow involved.  And Sean Friedrich.”

Mac and Dick’s heads shoot up, and they say, in unison, “Sean?!”

Ignoring them, Veronica continues. “Mac, have you figured out what’s going on in San Diego?”

Shaking her head to clear her surprise, Mac sits up straight and starts poking at the tablet again.  “Nothing good and nothing reliable yet.  But from what I can tell, there have been several violent scenes in different parts of town.  I’ve found reports of at least 12 different ones so far.”

“Casualties?”

Mac just shrugs and shakes her head.  

“We need to hurry,” Veronica concludes and turns back to the couch, sizing up her prisoners. Her eyes, focus on Ruby.  “Ruby...speak,” she orders.

Ruby whimpers her story.  “Lydia promised that I’d get my shot with Logan if I helped her. Julie from the bar called her to tell her you were there with Jeff.  She told me to get over there and get you out of the way.  I figured if I sent Logan a picture of you with Jeff, then he’d get all jealous and break up with you.  You’d be catatonic, cuz, well, obvs, and I’d be there to help Logan get over you. You’d be out of Lydia’s way, and I’d have Logan. Win-win.”

Veronica groans.  “You were her best option? Slim pickings.”

“Hey!” Ruby cries, indignant, but Veronica has already moved on, her voice lowered sympathetically. “Jeff, you seem like a decent guy, despite this mess.  I don’t think you meant to be part of a terrorist attack.  Millions of people will get hurt, Jeff.  We need to stop it.  You need to help us.”

Jeff’s face goes completely blank and his shoulders slump slightly. His voice is detached, monotone. “Fine, you’re right. Lydia’s probably gone. We’re doomed anyway.”

“Finally!” Logan exclaims from over by the window.

“Yeah,” Veronica adds. “Now tell us who your boss is, because there’s no way that Sean Friedrich thought any of this up.”

“Not what I meant, snookums,” Logan interrupts, and points towards the library door.

“Howdy guys and dolls! Fine day for a mystery!” In saunters Keith, his eyes quickly sizing up Veronica’s state despite his glib tone.  Reassured that she’s fine, he announces to the room, “I believe I can shine some light on Mr. Van Vliet’s boss.”

Want to find out what happens next? Check back next Saturday for the next installment written by… @missismess . Tag, you’re it! Make sure to submit your segment to  vmheadquarters@yahoo.com by Wednesday, September 6th.

[fashiontrendin-blog]

Who won big at the Fashion Awards 2017?

http://fashion-trendin.com/who-won-big-at-the-fashion-awards-2017/

Who won big at the Fashion Awards 2017?

Which of his ‘babies’ does double winner JWA love more? Where does Virgil Abloh go to party? and why couldn’t Adwaoh Aboah speak? Find out all this and more in our insiders’ report on fashion’s biggest night of the year…

Last night’s annual Fashion Awards, housed in the iconic Royal Albert Hall, honoured the glitterati of the fashion industry in an emotionally charged ceremony that combined major international glamour with poignancy – and unusual star turns galore. During the Fashion Awards 2017, there was a tribute to the late, great Azzedine Alaia (who died recently) from his tearful protegee Naomi Campbell, and a rendition of George Michael’s Freedom by Rita Ora, backed by a gay mens’ chorus – of course. There were major A-listers in attendance, from red carpet attendees like Selena Gomez to industry heavyweights including Anna Wintour.

What used to be a mainly Brit-focused affair is fast turning into a global event to rival the Met Ball for international clout – last night’s ceremony saw Dior’s Maria Grazia Chiuri make the trip over from Paris HQ to receive the first ever award for Positive Change, in recognition of her feminist-focused designs. Her predecessor at Dior, Raf Simons – now making headlines over at Calvin Klein – was also at the Albert Hall to receive the night’s biggest nod, Designer of the Year.

Marie Claire’s Jess Wood was backstage to chat to some of the winners – and to see major moments like John Galliano dancing down a corridor hand in hand with Donatella Versace (honoured with a special Fashion Icon award), while make-up queen Pat McGrath giggled from the sidelines.

Here’s what some of our favourites had to say…

Adwoah Aboah

Winner – Model of the Year

Shimmying backstage in her turban, Christian Louboutin plaforms and head-to-toe sequins by hot young London designer Michael Halpern (another of the night’s winners), girls’ mental health advocate and Gurls Talk founder Adwoah was speechless for a full minute when asked what winning meant to her.

‘It means so so much. London is home and I’ve watched a lot of my close friends pick up this award – I’ve also really looked up to their careers so to be following after them means a lot. To be sitting next to my mum and dad, and next to everyone from Professor Green to Stormzy to Maria Grazia, who have all been massive supports to me…I’m really really grateful.’ She’s got more than the award to be excited about, too – she’s just been announced as a newly-minted BFC (British Fashion Council) ambassador. She’ll no doubt be rolling up her sleeves and tackling taboo issues like models’ rights with typical guts.

    Michael Halpern

Winner, British Emerging Talent – Womenswear (for Halpern)

You might not be that familiar with his name – yet – but that’s about to change, big time. Young London-based designer Halpern is fast becoming known as the new ‘king of cool glamour’ with his Studio 54-inspired sequins and glitz. But as he told us, sequins need to be taken seriously…

‘I’m a magpie in every regard. But what’s important is not just to focus on the disco era but the attitude that those people had – it was rebellion and trying to stand up for something. Using this idea of glitter and sequins as rebellion, that’s where I’m coming from.’ he told us with one arm round Pamela Anderson, his idol (and everyone else’s, as it turns out – who knew?), who was dressed in black floor-length Halpern sequins to present him with his award. So, um, what is it about Pammie, Michael?

‘Pamela was my OMG moment this evening! When I heard she was presenting the category tonight, I just wanted to meet her, I didn’t care if I won or not. She’s super authentic, she’s not trying to be anyone else. Nowadays, so many people are involved with their personas on Instagram and how they present themselves, and she’s just very honest in that way.’ Fashion fans, now you know…

Virgil Abloh

Winner, Urban Luxe award for Off/White

The coolest – and nicest – man in fashion, wearing trainers with his tux (obvs),  stopped for a good old chinwag about his many talents and plans. He’s an architect by training, a longtime collaborator of Kanye West’s, and has pretty much been responsible for turning streetwear into a luxury fashion category with his label Off/White. But did you know he likes to spin a tune too? Read on…

‘With me, youthfulness is at the heart of it all – whenever I’m putting together my own look, it’s about ‘what’s red carpet for a 17 year old kid?’ and I guarantee he’s more comfortable in Nikes than dress shoes,’ Abloh told us about his Fashion Awards look. As for his award?

‘I love winning awards but I can’t place too much value on it. It’s super cool that they’re acknowledging this category now.  British fashion has been integral to my career – Kim Jones has been my mentor for over 10 years. Louise Wilson [late legendary St Martin’s tutor] was my supporter and advisor, without going to St Martin’s – but she was someone who believed in today. Half my family is in London, and I’ve always felt an affinity for it as a melting pot. From Carnival, to grime, to skateboarding, club music…Music and streetwear has been here forever – music, rhyme, club dance have all influenced why sneakers are in trend. I come from that kind of back door of culture – I just gave myself the task of making it ‘high fashion”.

So, Virgil, what will you be doing to celebrate?

‘I’m going to celebrate by DJing at my own Off/White nightclub at Somerset House – at 180 Strand. I’m an architect by training. I’ve built this as a one off, one-night-only project. I’m playing at midnight – it goes on till 3am, playing house and techno. This is fun, but my whole sphere is like 4am on the dancefloor, DJing…’ Our names are on the door, yeah, Virgil?

  JW Anderson

Winner, Accessories Designer of the Year (for Loewe) AND Womenswear Designer of the Year (for JW Anderson)

Yikes, the JDubz has done a double! Fashion’s most talented young whippersnapper scooped a major prize for each of his labels, a rarity in fashion awards history. So, which is he most excited about?

‘I can’t pick sides – it’s like having two babies. I love both brands!’ He confessed to us. ‘Actually, it’s kind of difficult to accept this  – I feel like we’re in a very challenging moment in general and it’s difficult to feel you can accept something like this when things are very complicated. But I love my work. Sometimes I feel guilty and a bit like ‘am I going to be hated (or double hated) for my success? But who cares?’ Did he have a sneaking suspicion he might win? ‘Last year I came and I lost 4 awards! So I come with no expectations! As long as I’m drinking and having a good time then I’m fine.’ Cheers, JWA…

Scroll down for the full list of winners and some of the night’s best red-carpet looks…

Selena Gomez in Coach, below

  Kaia Gerber in Ralph & Russo, below

Adwoah Aboah in Michael Halpern, below

FKATwigs in Versace, below

  Host Karlie Kloss in Vivienne Westwood Couture, below

Here’s who won at the Fashion Awards 2017

Model of the Year: Adwoa Aboah

Outstanding Contribution to British Fashion Award: Christopher Bailey

British Designer of the Year- Menswear: Craig Green for Craig Green

British Designer of the Year- Womenswear: Jonathan Anderson for JW Anderson

Accessories Designer of the Year: Jonathan Anderson for Loewe

Swarovski Award For Positive Change: Maria Grazia Chiuri for Dior

Urban Luxe Brand: Off-White

Isabella Blow Award for Fashion Creator: Pat McGrath

British Emerging Talent – Womenswear: Michael Halpern for Hapern

British Emerging Talent – Menswear: Charles Jeffrey for Charles Jeffery Loverboy

Business Leader: Marco Bizzarri for Gucci

Special Recognition Award For Innovation: Stella McCartney

Style Icon: Donatella Versace

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[phancystuff]

Trying to Remember How it Feels (To Have a Heartbeat) 3/7

Pairing: Dan/ Phil (Phan) Summary: Dan moves into a new apartment in London and, though it’s a step up from his old apartment, his landlord gives him strange warnings while he’s touring the place– something about the last renters leaving because of ghost sightings. But, Dan doesn’t believe in the supernatural. He quickly changes his tune when he meets Phil Lester, the ghost haunting his apartment. Well, if haunting means quickly becoming the best friend he’s ever had. (Title from Harry Styles’ song Two Ghosts) Notes: Part 3 of my Spooky Week Special! This fic is almost 100% already written and I plan on updating it every day until Halloween. Please note that, although this fic has the warning of major character death, it is not in any way graphic. Tags/ Warnings: ghost au, Halloween, major character death (obv. it’s a ghost au lol), depictions of panic attacks, angst, fluff, HAPPY ENDING, mentions of suicide (it happens in a movie they watch)

Read it on A03 Part One Part Two

Dan and Phil got even closer after their argument. They continued to play video games and watch movies and shows. Dan made YouTube videos and Phil helped with the whole process, itching to edit something again. They fell into a downright psychic rhythm. Phil cooked for Dan. Dan bought Phil things off Amazon, just to see Phil’s eyes shine with delight when Dan shoved Amazon boxes at him. Dan bought him video games, stuffed animals, DVDs, an iPad. Dan tried to convince Phil to make a Twitter account, just to interact with the world again. Phil couldn’t do it; it felt wrong, somehow. Like he was lying to people. His moral compass was much stronger than Dan’s.

Dan, meanwhile, became obsessed ghost research, wanting so much for Phil. Dan wanted to find out why Phil was stuck in one place, unable to float past the entryway of their flat. He wanted to find out why Phil was stuck as a ghost in this life, anyway. Wasn’t there some ‘great beyond’ that Phil was missing out on?

The problem with ‘ghost research’ was that there were so many crazy people out there who hadn’t even interacted with a single ghost, trying to convince the world that there were experts. There was a lot of information to sift through. A lot of suggestions to try that sounded ridiculous. Dan really couldn’t find much information about the questions that he really had, so he had to resort to testing out things that were interesting, but largely unimportant.

The first ‘fact’ that the two boys decided to test out, was whether or not Phil could change his appearance. They were sitting on the couch; Phil was playing online Mario Kart on the switch (“What happened to lying to people?” “Mario Kart doesn’t count, Dan! Who cares if you’re playing against a ghost?”) Dan was on his macbook, reading a dodgy-looking page called “The Laws of the Poltergeist,” when one of the supposed ‘laws’ peaked his interest. Ghosts are in complete control of their physical manifestation. Most simply choose to continue to look like what they did when they died.

“Phil?” Dan lowered the screen of his laptop, watching Phil’s mii drive around on the Rainbow Road map.

Distracted, Phil yelped when a red shell hit his car in a direct hit. “Huh? What?” He was in fourth place now.

“Have you ever tried to look different?”

“How do you mean?” Phil jerked his head and shoulders, almost as if he was trying to turn his car faster with the help of his body.

“I mean, this site says that ghosts can look like whatever they want to look like. You could look like Sarah Michelle Gellar if you wanted to!” Phil’s character raced toward the finish line, crossing it and locking in fifth place. Phil groaned.

“Oh, um. That would be weird! You couldn’t get me to stop looking in the mirror if I looked like Sarah Michelle Gellar.”

“You get my point, though. Have you ever tried?”

Phil put down the controller on the couch next to him, gripping his own chin and looking thoughtful. “Ah, no, I guess I haven’t. I never considered trying to look different. I don’t even know where I’d start.” Dan looked down at the same blue shirt and sweatpants that Phil was wearing the day they met. The outfit still confused Dan; in his old videos, Phil usually wore dark jeans and nerdy t-shirts.

“You could start small? Try changing your shirt? I mean, you’ve been wearing nothing but pjs this whole time, how rude.”

Phil smiled, looking down at his worn outfit. “Oh, hmm. I have no idea what I would change it to.”

“Do you want some inspiration?” Dan clicked away on his keyboard, pulling up the Topman site and picking a red flannel shirt. He spun the laptop toward Phil, showing him the shirt. “Try that?” Phil stared at the image, furrowing his eyebrows in concentration.

“I don’t even know what I’m focusing my energy on,” Phil mumbled. Minutes of silence went by and Dan was starting to think that this ‘poltergeist fact’ was crap. Suddenly, he watched with wide eyes as Phil’s blue shirt slowly morphed colors. It turned purple, first. Then red.

“Phil! You’re doing it!”

The ghost looked down and saw the red t-shirt. “Hey, wow! Look at that! I mean, it’s not long-sleeved or plaid, but it’s definitely not blue anymore! Do I suit it?” Phil twisted his torso around, proudly showing off the color. Dan looked at Phil in the new shirt, smiling. Dan hadn’t seen the ghost in anything but blue and the sudden change brought out all the wonderful things about Phil’s appearance. His blue eyes and clear, pale skin seemed to glow brighter.

“It looks good, Phil! Damn!” Dan tried to hide the truth of his comments in overexaggerated banter, but Phil still blushed in response.

“I’ll work on that one. I think with a bit of practice, I could make it so I can change my clothes every day. Like I’m dressing myself again! What was that website you used?”

Dan showed Phil the Topman website and asked his followers to send him some outfit suggestions, ‘for a friend just getting into the world of fashion.’ Dan’s heart glowed with the realization that, slowly, Dan was giving Phil little bits of his humanity back.

Phil practiced his new found power obsessively. Dan often found Phil in front of a mirror, staring hard at his face with a familiar look of concentration. Often, Dan’s computer would be next to him, propped up on the bathroom sink. Phil quickly gained the ability to easily change his clothes and he loved it. He wore flannel, nerdy tees, button-ups with zany patterns. He tried every suggestion that Dan’s twitter followers sent in, including some utterly ridiculous ones like camouflage dungarees and a shirt with obnoxious tassels. Dan liked when Phil insisted on Dan watching him ‘try on’ outfits. Phil would ask Dan’s opinion and spin around, walking across the lounge like he was on a catwalk. Dan would watch him fondly, showering him with compliments and slowly realizing that he was falling every so slightly in love with a ghost.

Sooner or later, Phil discovered that he could also change his hair. After one memorable afternoon with bright teal hair, Phil stuck to simply changing the length. He wasn’t as experimental with his hair as he was with his clothes. When Dan had asked why, Phil had just replied that, although his haircut was a little out of style, he couldn’t help but feel that he wouldn’t be him without the emo fringe. Dan couldn’t disagree. Phil decided to shorten his hair a little bit, trying the shaved sides look that everyone had in the year 2017. Phil came out of the bathroom one morning after making this particular change and Dan’s mouth actually dropped open. “What, does it not look good? I swear I tried. Maybe I should just stick with the long, emo fringe.”

“No, no, it looks really good. You look older! Like how 30 year-old Phil might look.” Dan stared at his friend, openly gawking. Phil looked really attractive. Dan wondered what their life would be like if things had gone differently. If Dan and Phil had met when they both had heartbeats. He reached out to Phil, wanting to touch his new hair. Phil jerked back, but didn’t do so in time and they made skin-to-ghostly-skin contact.

Dan called out, pain searing through his fingers. They felt like he had stuck them in the snow for hours. “Fuck, oh, ow!” He breathed on his hand, frantically trying to warm his digits.

“Crap, sorry!” Without thinking, Phil stuck out his hands as if to grab Dan’s, but Dan jerked them away just in time.

“No! That’s not gonna help, you idiot.” Warmth started to return to Dan’s hand and he breathed a sigh of relief.

“Yeah.” Phil’s voice broke and Dan looked up from his hands, alarmed. He watched a tear escape the corner of Phil’s eye. “I was always a touchy person. I cuddled every person that ever showed me an ounce of affection. Out of all the things that I can’t do anymore, not being able to touch people is the worst.” Dan watched in horror as the tears came faster and spilled down Phil’s cheeks. The ghost wiped them away roughly.

“Oh, Phil.” Dan didn’t know what to say-- or do, for that matter. How could he comfort someone he couldn’t touch?

“Sorry for getting emotional. Your hand made mine feel so… warm. I forgot what that felt like.” Phil looked at his hand in wonder. Dan distracted Phil with another outfit suggestion and they didn’t talk about the occurrence.

***

After a week of practice, Phil found that he could also morph his face and body. This really made him nervous. He couldn’t shift his appearance drastically (“Dan, the Sarah Michelle Geller dream will have to remain a dream”), but he could age himself up or down. It was like his body knew what to do; Phil just had to think about doing it. Phil didn’t really want to age himself at first, but he slowly grew used to the squarer jaw and the new wrinkles around his eyes that appeared when he concentrated on his true age. He found that he liked being taller, even though he was always still shorter than Dan. He also enjoyed occasionally scaring Dan by appearing seven years old and asking him to “come play with me!”

Dan continued on his quest for ghost facts, but ones that proved to be true weren’t really forthcoming. The two boys tried new experiments with electricity, but gave up after Phil blew out one too many lightbulbs. Phil tried to ‘possess’ objects, but that one was just a complete failure that ended in Phil running into Dan’s wardrobe and knocking a pile of books off the top (“Who puts books on a wardrobe?” “Who tries to possess a wardrobe?”) Phil was too nervous about trying to possess a person. It seemed risky. Dan on the other hand, bothered Phil about it on a regular basis.

One morning in September, Dan was eating a bowl of Crunchy Nut at the dining room table when the subject came up again. “I’m just saying, Phil, if you possess me, you might be able to leave the apartment! Can you imagine that? You could see London! We could fly out to Japan.”

Phil snorted. “You’re way too eager for me to possess you. Is it a secret kink?”

Dan choked on his cereal, swallowing milk down his windpipe. He coughed. “Phil!”

“I’m just saying.” Dan cleared his throat. Phil always acted so innocent, then pulled these innuendoes from nowhere, completely throwing Dan off.  

After recovering, Dan spooned another mouthful of cereal past his lips. “Hmm… secret kink, eh? I mean, it is the ultimate loss of control. Enter me, dad!”

Phil grinned. Banter between them was like a perpetual tennis match; they were always on the same wavelength, playing off each other’s sense of humor perfectly. Dan often wondered what making a video with Phil would be like. Their chemistry would probably be viral. “I’ll never get used to everyone ironically saying dad in 2017. How does it even make sense?” They sat in companionable silence until Dan was finished with his cereal. He got up and rinsed out the bowl, running a hand through his curly hair, trying to determine if a shower would be necessary. He sat on the kitchen counter.

“I am serious about trying out the possession thing, Phil. If there’s even a little bit of life I can give back to you, I want to.” Dan turned around, leaning against the sink and staring at Phil.

“Dan,” Phil warned quietly. “I’m dead. My life is over and that’s ok. You can’t stop living your life on account of me.”

“I haven’t stopped living my life!” Dan was annoyed. They constantly had this conversation ever since Dan became obsessed with his ghost research; Phil warned Dan not to get too close and lose out on his own life. Dan argued that he wasn’t doing anything different with his life. This is how it always had been; he had an internet job and not many friends. He was an introvert and slight agoraphobe. If anything, Phil had made his life better. “I’m allowed to do what I want with it. I’m allowed to decide that I want to help my ghost friend have a little fun. Why is it any different to be friends with you than it is to be friends with another living person?”

“Because I can’t leave here. I can’t experience the world with you. I can’t make YouTube videos with you, we can’t get a dog together, I can’t steal your cereal, I can’t…” Phil’s words were lodged in his throat. “I can’t touch you, hug you, cuddle you. I can hug everything else in this flat all I want, but not the one thing that I actually want to hug. That’s not friendship, Dan, that’s… where are you going?”

Partway through Phil’s frustrated rant, Dan pushed off the kitchen counter, wondering how they had been so stupid. Phil could hug everything else in this apartment, but Dan! Of course! “Hold on, gotta go get something! Sorry, Phil, this is important!”

“We’re having a serious conversation here, you can’t just run off!” Phil got up and followed Dan to his bedroom, watching with annoyed confusion as Dan rifled through his wardrobe, pulling out a pair of jeans, hoodie, beanie, and gloves. “Is this really the time to get dressed? Are you going outside?”

Dan spun around to face Phil, arms filled with clothes. His eyes were shining with excitement. “You can hug everything in this apartment except me. Phil Lester! You’re a genius!”

“I still don’t understand? What are you on about?”

“Put these clothes on and I think you’ll be able to hug me.” Dan thrust the clothes at Phil who looked at them with wide eyes.

Phil’s frustration fell away. “Could that work?!” Phil grabbed the clothing quickly and stabbed his legs through Dan’s jeans, his legs refusing to go fast enough. He scrabbled at the fabric, dropping the waistband in his excitement. “What am I doing? I’m a ghost!” Phil phased through the clothing, letting it settle on his body. It didn’t feel any different than normal, but he was used to having no sense of touch. Completely suited up, Phil paused and stared at Dan. “What do you think it’s gonna feel like?”

“I don’t know,” Dan whispered. “I just hope it works.”

“Be careful not to touch my face, ok? I don’t want to hurt you.” Dan nodded and Phil tentatively reached out with his gloved hand, touching Dan’s cheek. Phil closed his eyes and smiled. Even through the glove, he could feel Dan’s human warmth. He could feel something! Seven years of nothing, of numbness, and he could feel something. Phil’s eyes opened and he met Dan’s stare. “Does it hurt? Should we stop?”

“It doesn’t hurt. It just feels like I’ve dressed an ice sculpture and now it’s touching me.” Dan smiled and stepped closer to the clothed ghost, holding his arms out.

Phil couldn’t prepare himself for the feeling of stepping into Dan’s arms. He pressed every inch of himself up against Dan, feeling the warmth of him seep through the clothes that separated them. Phil could feel Dan’s heartbeat echoing in his own body. Phil suddenly remembered one time when he was small and he decided to play outside in the snow, without his snowsuit. He stayed out for way too long, the snow melting and seeping through his clothes. When his mum yelled for him to come inside, he was a shivering, wet mess. His mum made him take off all his clothes right in the living room and she wrapped him up in an electric heated blanket and placed him on the sofa. Hugging Dan felt a little bit like that. Except if that warmth had also been the feeling of life and happiness and laughter and home. Phil felt that he might burst from the emotions and sensations crawling across his skin and filling his empty body.

“God, Dan. I can’t even tell you what this feels like.” Dan smiled against Phil’s shoulder, shivering. He couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or the overwhelming wave of love that crashed over Dan. They parted and stared at each other. Dan’s hands gripped Phil’s back and Phil’s gloved hands lay on Dan’s shoulders. Dan wanted to tell Phil how he felt. How much he loved him. How much he wished for things to be different. But, he also didn’t want to interrupt this moment and, something in Phil’s blue-green eyes told Dan that Phil understood it all without it having to be said.

The ghost closed the space between the two boys once more, embracing Dan and getting as close as possible. “Thank you, Dan. Thank you for everything. Thank you.” Phil cried, repeating those two words until Dan couldn’t understand him through his sobs. Dan realized, with an intensity that he had never really experienced before, that he would do anything for Phil.

When they parted again and Dan rubbed his hands over his arms, trying to warm himself up again, he looked at Phil’s glowing face and said: “You are going to try to possess me.”

***

For days, Phil tried to convince Dan that they shouldn’t try possession. He came up with every possible excuse: it was dangerous, they couldn’t do any research before doing it, they didn’t know what would happen, Dan could get hurt or worse. Dan didn’t seem to care about his own well-being and Phil got more and more frustrated at Dan’s lack of self-preservation.

“You cannot tell me that you haven’t been itching to leave this apartment for the seven years that you’ve been trapped here!” Dan hadn’t been able to leave the argument alone; he couldn’t go five minutes without bringing it up. Phil groaned loudly. They were cuddling on the couch, both of them wrapped in many layers of Dan’s clothing. Phil’s layers allowed him to touch Dan and Dan’s layers kept him from feeling the life-sucking chill of Phil’s skin. They had been inseparable since discovering the clothing trick. They cuddled on the couch, cooked hip to hip, and hugged randomly and constantly.

Despite wanting to keep Dan safe, Phil couldn’t keep him at arm's-length; Phil was already addicted to the solid feel of the living boy. The whisper of life that he gave to Phil. And when Phil wasn’t touching Dan, he felt all the more sad, numb, and lifeless. This was the biggest reason why Phil didn’t want to possess Dan. What if he got addicted to Dan’s life? What if he didn’t want to go back to being a numb ghost?  What if he went too far and something happened to Dan? Phil would never forgive himself. Phil had been keeping these details to himself, not wanting to frighten Dan.

“I am curious! Of course I want to get out of this bloody apartment that’s been my literal prison for years.” Phil said, frustrated.

“Then I don’t get it. Let’s do this thing.”

“I’m scared.” Phil gripped Dan closer to his chest, thankful that he couldn’t see the boy’s brown, pleading eyes. It was make rejecting him even harder.

Almost as if reading his mind, Dan pried himself out of Phil’s grip and slipped down onto the floor, staring at Phil. “I’m going to be fine. What’s the worst that can happen?” Dan smiled reassuringly, “I trust you completely.”

“You shouldn’t. I don’t trust myself.” Phil stared past Dan, looking at the wall beyond his shoulder.

“Phil?” Wanting further explanation, Dan reached out a gloved hand and lightly gripped Phil’s chin, silently asking for Phil’s full attention. Since there was nothing covering that piece of Phil’s body, the chill in Dan’s hand was harsher. He held back a wince.

Blue eyes met brown. Phil whispered: “You’re addicting. Your presence, your warmth, the life inside of you. I feel--” Phil paused. “I feel like if I got ahold of all of you, I may not want to let go. I may not be able to.”

Dan sat, stunned. Their gazes were locked for a little moment of infinite. Dan searched Phil’s eyes for what he was describing-- selfishness, addiction, a lack of control. Dan shook his head, only finding joy and kindness. He thought back to Phil’s videos on the internet; they showed a boy only interested in bringing joy into other people’s lives. He thought back on their very first interaction when Phil had calmed Dan down during a panic attack, caused by his very presence. A thousand little memories darted and danced through Dan’s brain, all reminding him that Phil was the best person that Dan had ever met. “No. I trust you.”

Phil let out a cry of frustration and disbelief. “I don’t get how you can have so much faith in me!” Dan let out a little surprised gasp as, suddenly, Dan was left with just a pile of his own clothes as Phil’s physical form ceased to exist. Dan could still feel the phantom touch in his cold fingers. He buried his head into his own clothing, wondering what smell Phil would have left behind in them if he was still living.

Phil didn’t re-manifest himself again that day. Dan knew he wasn’t that far away. He didn’t really understand what kind of form Phil took when he didn’t have a body-- Phil had try to explain it before, using several broken metaphors. But Dan really couldn’t understand, having never personally experienced it. From what he understood, without his physical body, Phil was more of a presence in the apartment, which meant that he was still watching Dan. He was just choosing not to interact.

Despite this, Dan didn’t stop talking to Phil all day. Mostly, he told the ghost boy how immature he was being. “You’re supposed to be my elder, Philip!” Dan called out to the kitchen as he stirred a pot of soup. “You can’t run from arguments.” Dan grumbled as he watched their abandoned episode of Rick and Morty. “My mum always said you’re not supposed to go to sleep angry.” Dan whispered as he crawled under his sheets and drifted into a fitful sleep.

“You’re never going to drop this.” Phil said the next morning, sitting on the right side of Dan’s bed, purposefully not wearing any of Dan’s clothes. Dan opened his eyes, waking at Phil’s words. He said them seriously and evenly. Dan rubbed his eyes, and pushed himself up into a sitting position, his blanket slipping down his bare chest.

“Um, no probably not.” Dan had enough sense to be a little sheepish. He had always been stubborn. “I just want to give this to you. Let me give this to you.”

Phil stared at his fingers, wishing he had some inanimate object to spin. “But why?”

Dan’s stomach dropped; he wasn’t anticipating the question, even though it was a very valid one to ask. Dan had only known Phil for a couple months. Not quite a half year. And yet, here he was, offering the ghost his body. And, if things went wrong, his life. Dan knew the reason why he was willing to do this for Phil. Anyone could figure it out if they just thought about it. “I think you know why.” Dan said tentatively, wishing that Phil was at least wearing a pair of gloves so he could grab the ghost’s hand. He considered reaching out anyway and just ignoring the bite of cold against his skin. Dan decided not to at the last minute, guessing that Phil had his reasons for talking to him without the protective layer of clothing. Phil was silent for a long minute, still refusing to look at Dan.

“Ok. But why?” Although almost identical in phrasing, this was a completely different question. Dan closed his eyes at words left unsaid. Why did Dan love Phil? It was easy to answer, a thousand responses springing up in Dan’s mind all at once. But, was Dan going to be the one to break the silence and bring those words out into the open? There was a moment of sudden clarity and confidence, but the silence stretched on for too long and the moment was gone as quickly as it came. Phil pressed his hands into his eyes. “Ok, this is too heavy so early in the morning.” A watery, shaky smile greeted Dan’s eyes as Phil turned to look at him for the first time that morning. “Do you wanna watch some YouTube in bed?”

Dan felt like a coward for agreeing to the plan. They spent most of the day in bed together, Dan eating snacks and both of them giggling over YouTube poop. They pressed against each other through Dan’s duvet and the words that Dan yearned to say burned just under the surface of his skin. He swore that Phil could feel them through the thin material of pajamas and blanket.

Chapter four