Bard-aby <3 except he's only loosely a bard bc i don't subscribe to absolutes <3
rambles:
BARNABY WITH PANTS??? BLASPHEMY!!! however this is a (dnd-inspired) fantasy au so. pants! loose pants tucked into modified boots because no one can tell me No!
based off of Clown's pokemon au human Barn, it seems like he might be a bit of a jewelry guy! he was wearing rings! and had an earring! also i think Barn just looks great w/ some extra shinies, yk yk
since ties aren't really a Thing in fantasy settings, i combined the iconic pattern w/ his vest for a two-in-one. then suspenders bc they fuck severely! his belt buckle is a bone both as a nod to the pattern on his tie / house decoration, and to go along with how Wally has an apple buckle! besties stay twinning!
you can't see it but on his other side he has his pack & his smoking pipe holster, which attaches to his belt! it's very high quality leather that he spent so much money on. his pipe is important to him - he carved it himself out of wood from an important tree from his childhood, so he wants it to be properly stored & protected! he has two kinds of tobacco for it - normal, and magic tobacco that essentially allows him to cast minor spells w/ the smoke
the feathers on his hat are from Ms. Beagle! in my mind he left the farm to go adventuring on a bit of a bad note, but his mama made sure to give him a couple feathers to take with so that she'd always be close <3
he keeps his claws blunt so that he doesn't accidentally scratch people/things, and so that he can play stringed instruments without cutting the strings. while i imagine for this au he plays a wide range, he prefers Loud Handheld Instruments that allow him to sing along. so in mind he has an Accordion here! loud! jaunty! but i imagine he also keeps a recorder in his pack for when Frank needs annoying. (he did have a lute, but he broke it over someone's head in the act of defending Wally's honor)
im still trying to pin down the right balance of colors for his outfit, but! for a little au tidbit - all of his spots are the same two blues as his ears. in this im imagining that he, at a young age, learned a very basic cosmetic spell that allowed him to change his spots color to mimic Ms. Beagle's! he wanted to look like his mama! but by the time he's in his late 20s he no longer changes his spots
ohhhh i forgot to add his pockets. Oh Well
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maybe it's because I'm in the "I'm so obsessed and hyperfocused on my little guys I will make any song seem like it's about them even if it couldn't be any father from actually relating to them at all" stage of my Theon and Asha hyperfixation but like...
I feel like 'I bet on losing dogs' by Mitski is about them.
it's about Asha and her relationship with Theon.
he's her baby brother. the baby brother who looked up at her smiled when she had gone in his room, intent on strangling him to stop his cries. he's her losing dog. the dog she keeps fighting for when no one else will. she never gives up on him, not truly, even when he is so clearly doomed, because she loves him, she won't give up on him.
and Theon is, in so many senses, a dog. he's been passed around from owner to owner, home to home, trained and beaten and domesticated, made to behave how his owner at the time sees fit. he's a good dog, a good beaten dog.
and now, in a way, he's Asha's dog. she doesn't want him to be her dog, she wants him to be her brother, and Theon's trying, he really is trying, she knows he's trying, but part of him will always be doomed to be a dog waiting to be hit, waiting for a command, waiting to be trained.
he's her losing dog, she knows it, knows he's doomed, deep down, there's little hope, he'll die a damned dog, but fuck it she doesn't care, he's her blood, her baby, he will be by her side no matter what. she'll always go back for him, she'll always fight for him, she'll always tell him to stay, she'll always give him a chance, she'll always try.
~~~~
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on todays episode of "mental health issues that could easily be solved by one single thing that i dont have", GET A MICROWAVE!!!
i just know SO many of my eating related issues (not all obviously but a LOT of them) would be solved if this house just had a goddamn microwave
today i ate like... 1/4th of those small frozen pizzas, 1/3rd of a grilled cheese, and 1/3rd bowl of macaroni and meatballs. and yall wanna know why i didnt eat the whole thing of any of them? its cause my stupid adhd ass took too long to eat and the food got cold. and then i Cannot Eat That anymore. so even though i was still hungry i didnt eat the rest of it and just went back to rotting on youtube shorts and being too hungry to do anything and feeling dumb and unproductive and being guilty of making food that i dont eat. just... feeling like a big ol' waste
but the thing is, if i just
✨owned a microwave✨
i could just reheat the motherfucking food and still eat it and not feel like ive wasted that food. ((because since that food is wasted i feel guilty about making it, so i dont make any more food until next meal time, but then i didnt finish that either cause im stupid and eat too slow.))
but we dont have a microwave. only an oven. and yeah maybe i couldve reheated the 3/4th pizza or the grilled cheese in the oven, but then again the oven uses a lot of electricity. and my mom is always complaining that i turn the oven on, forget that its on for a while, and that im wasting electricity. and i was too tired and hungry to deal with that possibility. plus with the oven theres a chance i forget it too long or have it too hot and burn the food and that would just make me feel worse
but we dont have a microwave, because my mom thinks having a microwave leads to "eating more unhealthy foods that you just heat up" instead of "real food". so i didnt reheat any of my food. so i didnt eat it. it got to the point where it got cold and gross so i just threw it in the trash and hope my mom or grandma doesnt notice.
but if i had a microwave, i couldve reheated that food. and i couldve eaten it. ((and yeah, maybe i wouldnt have ate the whole thing, but maybe half at least? that counts right? well it dont really matter if it counts or not cause it didnt happen.))
and then maybe i wouldnt have been feeling like im gonna faint the whole day and maybe i wouldve gotten literally anything done instead of just scrolling on pinterest and youtube shorts for hours and feeling worthless. and maybe if i ate i wouldnt have hurt myself today
but nope. no microwave. it leads to "unhealthy" habits. i guess not eating enough to count as even ONE full meal is healthier since its not "microwave food"
thanks mom
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you ever have dick so good that you’re literally running from it. tears in your eyes, lumps on lumps of sobs crowding in your throat and suguru holding your hands behind your back still slamming into you.
“take it like you're supposed to, baby. do it for me.” slapping your ass and slamming into you again, a sob crawling up your throat and your body shaking uncontrollably with this overwhelming pleasure.
he knew where your weak spots were, where you broke down easily, and where you itched to have more of. that's why he was going to give it to you—give it to you until you were physically numb. suguru wasn’t going to stop until he saw your body lying still on the mattress.
suguru wanted to twist you around and put you in different positions so he could see his pretty baby cum on his dick but you weren’t take it well, your back arching and your muffled sobs into the mattress.
he had to keep your wrists in his hands or you weren’t going to finish soon, his hand squeezing your wrist and his other one trailing over your back up to your chin, pulling you back into your chest.
"come on, baby. what’s going on today? i thought you wanted to be my good girl.” his hips pushing into your ass harder and harder, his soft breath tickling your ear, and the tip of his dick pressing deeper inside of you.
another sob coming up and tears running down your face—he couldn’t say he didn’t admire the sight. he loved when you cried from overstimulation, but all he was thinking about at that moment was making sure you took in what he was giving you.
he could feel you squeeze around; the feeling of your soft insides clamming onto him made him feel good. he almost wanted to crawl inside of you, but you didn’t deserve it.
you didn’t deserve his cum being leaked inside of you, so if he had to hold himself back for a couple more minutes or just not cum, then that’s what he would do.
“suguru i can’t take it.” your sobs more vocal, your back is arching even more, and your eyes are squeezing shut with more warm tears rolling down your face
it felt like a fiery pit in the bottom of your stomach every time he made you take him. Even though you couldn’t, it’s not like you could run away or fake your way out of it.
suguru knew you inside out, literally. he knew how good you were feeling, your nipples peeking up as your ass was pushing against him; it’s like your body was telling him to just do whatever he wanted to make you take it.
“remember what i taught you.” whispering in your ear and slamming into you again, sweat dripping off his forehead and onto your back, he could feel you clamp around him, a moan sliding past your lips and little whines after.
cooing in your ear then pulling your arms back some more while slamming into you again and again, feeling his cum leak into you little by little.
that’s how he liked to cum, when you were squeezing the cum out of him.
if you were running and crying, scratching the sheets, trying to get away, suguru was going to pull you, restrain you and make you take it; he didn’t play.
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