#but i dont wanna make more food and have to throw it away. i wish we had snacks in this house

[wishchthumblr]

on todays episode of "mental health issues that could easily be solved by one single thing that i dont have", GET A MICROWAVE!!!

i just know SO many of my eating related issues (not all obviously but a LOT of them) would be solved if this house just had a goddamn microwave

today i ate like... 1/4th of those small frozen pizzas, 1/3rd of a grilled cheese, and 1/3rd bowl of macaroni and meatballs. and yall wanna know why i didnt eat the whole thing of any of them? its cause my stupid adhd ass took too long to eat and the food got cold. and then i Cannot Eat That anymore. so even though i was still hungry i didnt eat the rest of it and just went back to rotting on youtube shorts and being too hungry to do anything and feeling dumb and unproductive and being guilty of making food that i dont eat. just... feeling like a big ol' waste

but the thing is, if i just

✨owned a microwave✨

i could just reheat the motherfucking food and still eat it and not feel like ive wasted that food. ((because since that food is wasted i feel guilty about making it, so i dont make any more food until next meal time, but then i didnt finish that either cause im stupid and eat too slow.))

but we dont have a microwave. only an oven. and yeah maybe i couldve reheated the 3/4th pizza or the grilled cheese in the oven, but then again the oven uses a lot of electricity. and my mom is always complaining that i turn the oven on, forget that its on for a while, and that im wasting electricity. and i was too tired and hungry to deal with that possibility. plus with the oven theres a chance i forget it too long or have it too hot and burn the food and that would just make me feel worse

but we dont have a microwave, because my mom thinks having a microwave leads to "eating more unhealthy foods that you just heat up" instead of "real food". so i didnt reheat any of my food. so i didnt eat it. it got to the point where it got cold and gross so i just threw it in the trash and hope my mom or grandma doesnt notice.

but if i had a microwave, i couldve reheated that food. and i couldve eaten it. ((and yeah, maybe i wouldnt have ate the whole thing, but maybe half at least? that counts right? well it dont really matter if it counts or not cause it didnt happen.))

and then maybe i wouldnt have been feeling like im gonna faint the whole day and maybe i wouldve gotten literally anything done instead of just scrolling on pinterest and youtube shorts for hours and feeling worthless. and maybe if i ate i wouldnt have hurt myself today

but nope. no microwave. it leads to "unhealthy" habits. i guess not eating enough to count as even ONE full meal is healthier since its not "microwave food"

thanks mom

[formaldehyde-girl]

Cw: vomit , vomitting, alcohol silliness and shenanigans

My bf randomly got extremely drunk for fun yesterday and the poor fucker puked in the bathroom sink, clogged it

Shit happens, so i just woke up at 4am and couldn’t sleep until it was done so i did it and being already productive i also did the rest of the bathroom 😭 it feels so good

Ik the rest of the house is a mess but it makes me feel less helpless and hopeless , its also good reminder that starting is the hardest part

[arttrampbelle]

Shang tsung isn't evil but a product of corruption and the environment that surrounds him. He's not evil in the sense of black n white thinking of morality. Especially from a western,psuedo Christian American perspective that so many people wanna shoehorn him into. (No shade here but im calling it like i see it nrs)

How is he evil when everyone in mortal kombat kills?

Also shao kahn quan chi and shinnok has arguably done worse

And even more so he's worked more with them,and under them(shao Kahn namely) and had no choice but to follow orders. Namely some things sure were aligned in benefit. But truly can you really argue that it was all his doing? No to say so is ignorant and undermining the other villains and antagonists of the series and their own contributions to the story narrative in opposition of protags and other characters.

The most evil is those who hide behind self righteousness and say they are for peace when they are being manipulated by promises of a better realm or timeline(cough fire god liu kang. COUGH)

Like nah guys mk12/mk1 don't make sense even for the narrative they are trying to pull. Shang is wonderful but yall missed the point even tho the storymode sucks and everything about it makes me nauseous, shang tsung shines thru because of what he represents. The story,It falls through the crack simply because of the fact

In mortal kombats chaotic and cruel world. You kill or be killed. You do what it takes to survive. Or be food for the gods. As you are nothing but entertainment for them.

Everyone kills in mortal kombat. So shang tsung killing means fucking nothing and is a moot point. He does it,everyone does it,how is he truly any different than anyone at that point. Thru mortal kombat,a supposedly Divine system,he's doing exactly what he's supposed to be doing. And what his character is designed to do. Period. So killing,moot point and argument.

Im not talking about. MK12/MK1 specifically. Tho that grinds my gears for many other reasons. Im talking shang tsung,overall as a whole as a character thru the 30+yrs the games and mk has been around. These are common arguments for that shang is "tHe EVil OnE" when there's no such thing in mks world. Truly. It's posturing and posing flowery words at that point. Period.

Stealing souls? He has to,to survive. He is cursed by the very gods and mentors that once swore to protect him. But did nothing.

Climbing for power? He does so because he wishes not to rule over. But so he doesn't have to worry about going to bed hungry,to suffer. He wants stability,comfort,and most of all security. A thing that long ago was robbed of him.

See you can't say shit about my man without having many reasons why he's not.

Could he be evil,nasty,and dowright fucking cruel? Oh you bet your ass he could. But does he enjoy it? Not really. He takes no pleasure unless it's out of necessity or you're considered an enemy.

He is no different than a hungry hunter. Trying to find his next meal or the next place of dwelling. Until he finds his true place of being and achieves a stable life.

Like ffs people it's right fucking there fine print and that still,STILL GOES OVER YOUR HEADS!

Like y'all who don't understand nuanced villains WANT him to be stereotypical,y'all want him to be easy to pinpoint. Because that means you dont get to critique your beloved "Heroic" characters. And use your brains,and critically think that maybe,just fucking maybe. Your nice dudes were wrong for once.

In mortal kombats world (if you can call it that because the world building sucks)

It's kill or be killed. Morality be damned. Shang tsung found that out long ago. Hiding behind morals in a world that could care less than about you. Gods that only see you as food,throw away entertainment,etc.

He may have respect for someone who despite all that crap,has some moral backbone. But isn't blind to the truth,it's survival. Dont be a pushover boot licking lapdog. As long as you don't hide behind your self righteousness and "goody goody" attitude. He'll respect that you have a noble heart. In fact,that may make him actually enjoy your company. But dont be a condescending jackass about your morals. And he'll be fine.

Shang tsung is just playing the game that the world is built upon. The rules,the gods,the empires,have made. And plays them well into his advantage.

And y'all pissed he plays it better than you. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

That my dears is a truly well done villain,antagonist,and just a beautifully complex character.

That's how you do or are supposed to do shang tsung. Period.

*slams hand down on table and leaves*

🔥💯🔥

[dylansslutt]

baby, im yours / j.b

  “i promise it’ll feel real good.”

 “breathe, baby breathe.”

  “can we pretend?”

this was a request by @fred0ublack , i never rlly wrote much for john b so this was fun. i had a different vibe i had to read into from him so i hope you enjoy

summary: tension

 warnings: smut and injury

 “where the hell have you been?” walking up the steps of john b’s chataeu, his eyes flicker to yours.

 “oh ya’ know, the usual...” he mutters making you roll your eyes. “i’ve been calling you loser.”

 walking behind him into the house, everyone else is busy so you ended up at your best friends. “my phone is dead, or lost i dont even know anymore.”

 you lean down snatching a beer from the fridge before glancing back at him. “everyone else is busy today, soo let’s go get food and get shit faced!”

 he sighs dropping onto the couch, making your face fall. “hey, what’s up?” you sit down beside him, his eyes glance over to you.

 “just a lot on my mind right now.” he could barely keep his eyes on you, flickering else where. “if it’s about your dad... i beli-”

 “no.. no- not about him, i just-” he stands up walking from me and to the fridge to grab himself a beer. “just something on my mind okay?”

 the way his eyes were on you made you shift differently, you always thought john b was fine. yet the rule of no pogue on pogue macking so you let your mind be, but right now you were wishing to do something.

 “okay well... since you don’t wanna talk about it.” you stand up now only a few feet from him, “we can do something instead of just sitting here?”

 he nods, “sure, we can take the boat out?” you nod, both of you getting dressed into your suits. since this was reoccurring you always had a bathing suit here.

 stepping out of the bathroom, a towel in one hand as you grab your bag with the other. “we have like 4 beers, do you wanna go to the store before?”

 he calls from the kitchen as you come around, “yea i’ll go grab some real quick.”

 -

 after getting back with snacks and drinks, you see john b on the boat already. “here!” you hand over the bags as you climb aboard, him setting the stuff down before starting up the boat.

 you both reach a good spot deciding to turn the boat off and chill, you took two beers out the bag. “alright let’s see who’s faster.”

 he laughs shaking his head, “i swear your worse than jj!” you stick your tongue out at him. the beer slides down your throat only a small amount slips down your chin, running down onto your exposed chest.

 he chugs the last few of his just as you pull your empty can away, his gaze follows the trail of the beer. “i won!” you sing song standing up happily, excited you finally beat him.

 “only took you a million tries.” he stands up with you throwing his hat back onto the seat. turning his gaze back towards you with a cheeky smile.

 “shush.” you jokingly told him before you look back at the water. “im gonna warm up some more before i get in.”

he shrugs towards you before running and flipping off the boat. reaching into your bag pulling another beer out, popping the top bringing it up to your lips. you plop back down in your seat enjoying the sun on your skin.

 “you should really get in!” he calls out from the water making you sit up and look over the edge.

 “i will in a minute, imma drink the rest of this first.” you wave your newly opened beer, him only rolling his eyes.

 “ya’ throw me one?” you set the drink in the cup holder to grab another beer, moving back towards the water.

 “you better catch this!” eyeing up the aim you toss it over, landing straight into his palm. “what you mean?” he cockily waves the beer making you throw your head back as a laugh leaves you.

 you chug down the rest of your beer before tossing it into your bag. not gonna litter the beer, kie would actually kill you.

 standing up on the side of the boat you smile down at john b, “there she is.” your hands rest on your hips a small giggle escapes you.

 “okay... do i wanna do a backflip or a front flip?” he smirks weighing the option himself. he paddles back slightly before calling out his answer.

 “a back flip.” you nod in agreement before turning around, but as you did your foot slips. everything moved quickly your head hit something and next second the water overwhelms you.

 your head spins as your eyes tried to focus as you sink down, but your chest was on fire. everything started to blur and you felt yourself began to pass out...

 your body hit the boat floor as john b hovers over you, hands moving frantically. “y/n/n... wake up, come on.”

 you heard his voice, eyes flutter open softly before you start coughing up water. he holds onto moving your hair back. “breathe, baby breathe.”

 you were only coughing softly now but everything that just happen was intense, your eyes flicker up to john b’s who was already staring at you. “shit, y/n/n your head.”

 he reaches back snatching his shirt as you lift your hand to touch your forehead, hissing at the pain snatching your hand away. “it’s doesn’t need stitches just bleeding slightly.”

 a groan leaves your lips, “why am i so fuckin’ clumsy?” john b laughs softly, “you just now notice this?”

 you glare at him before he helps you up and onto the seat, “here let’s head back before you almost die again.” you laugh slightly before wincing. john b’s look of worry goes unnoticed for a moment, your gaze lands on him.

 he turns away quickly before turning the boat on. the ride was short back the house, holding john b’s towel to your forehead so the cut could dry up. as you two pull up he docks the boat before helping you off it.

 “here let me help you.” he says from behind you as you two walk through the door. he flicks the bathroom light on reaching into the cabinets pulling a few things out.

 you hop up onto the counter in the kitchen as he walks towards you. setting the stuff down, you drop your hand from your head letting him get a better look.

 “i’m gonna clean it... it might sting.” he mutters before pouring some alcohol onto a cotton ball. it stung like a bitch but you just let him clean it, knowing the ocean would infect it if untreated.

 “you promise it’s not that bad?” your stare at him, faces inches apart you could lean forward and your lips would touch. his eyes flicker from your cut, to your lips then up to your eyes.

 “it’s not that bad, i’m gonna put this on so it wont scar nasty.” putting something ontop covering the wound somewhat.

 his free hand rest on your knee as he finishes, your stomach drops almost making you nervous. you couldn’t tell if he was hinting anything or it was just him being him.

 you try not to read into anything as he pulls back, “thank you, for saving me pretty much.”

 his hand never moves as his other hand settles on the counter beside you, “you had me worried there, i dont think i ever swam so fast.” his sincerity was deep gaze never leaving yours.

 “i made you lose your beer.” you realize and he shakes his head.

 “you’re worried about the beer?”

 “not really.”

 the two of you then sat in silence for a moment only staring at another. you felt yourself get hot from under his gaze, he licks his lips slightly before he squeezes his knee.

 he opens his mouth just as you go to speak, “go ahead.” you mutter and he shakes his head.

 “n-no you go ahead.”

 “i was just gonna say can you get me some pain reliever?” his hand slips off your knee, making disappointment spread through you. he grabs an item beside you placing it on your lap, before grabbing a water bottle out the fridge.

 “thank you, now what were you gonna say?”

 he seems hesitant at first, you pour two pills on your hand. looking back up at him, thankful your head wasn’t hurting that bad.

 “do you still have feelings for jj?” the question was so random that you stare at him crazy.

 “that was like 8th grade john b, no.” you laugh and he nods, “oh okay.”

 without thinking you reply back, “beside’s i like someone else.” you shut your mouth as he looks directly in your eyes.

 “so you just keep secrets from your best friend now?” you go to push him jokingly but he caught your hand.

 “actually you are mister! you never told me about your crush on cameron, i had to find out from jj.” you hop off the counter now standing shorter than him.

 “th-that is not true.” his blush was now noticeable, not expecting to be caught.

 “oh yea, totally.” the sarcasm drips from your lips as he sighs. “i thought she was cute but nothing else, plus she is dating topper.”

 you held your hands up, “hey i’m not judging you.”  going to walk off his hand grabs your arm softly, stopping your movements.

 “y/n/n, can i ask you something?” he releases your arm after you nod. “who’s your crush?” you felt warm at the question.

 “can we pretend like i said i didn’t have one?” hoping for it to be left alone he only reasks one more time.

 “i don’t know? why are you questioning it so much. falling onto the couch relaxing onto the couch he only stands near it.

 “now come on and lets watch a movie since imma dumbass that got hurt.” he lets the conversation be as he sits down beside you. his arm goes behind you as you click your profile since they dont have one.

 clicking onto a random horror movie, you shift around laying back on the pillows. your legs rest over his lap, hands holding your calf comfortably. the movie begins and john b leans over switching off the lamp.

 the sun setting through the windows was the only source of light as the movie began. after about 20 minutes, you move a little making his hand slide down onto your thigh.

 it stays there unmoving, as you watch his eyes that only stares forward onto the tv. your head wasn’t hurting anymore thankfully so you just remain comfy against him.

  the scene started to get sexual as the two characters began to get flirty, making him squeeze your thigh jokingly. laughing you glance up seeing his gaze already on you. in one move his hand cradles your cheek and captures his lips onto yours.

 eyes fluttering shut motion was soft and sweet, your hands find its way into his hair. he is careful and gentle for you being hurt not so long ago.

 he shifts more on top of you, holding himself up with one arm. his other slipping under your jaw, lightly around your throat. as you bite his lip softly his hand slips down cupping your breast.

 moaning slightly into his mouth he kneads it softly before gripping your waist pulling you up into him. he pulls away panting lightly with a smile on his face.

 a smile couldn’t help cross your face as you question him, “what?”

 “is this okay?” you nod reassuring him as he kisses you once again, this time his hand starts tugging your shorts down. kicking the shorts around your ankles, he brushes along your covered slit.

 a shaky breathe leaves you, as he kisses down your neck slowly. teasingly slipping your panties to the side, you felt your stomach go into knots. landing on the one spot you were craving a moan escapes your lips.

 you lean forward sinking your teeth into his shoulder as he moans from the feeling. “stop teasing me.”

 he chuckles in your ear before he slides two fingers down, coating them with your juices before slowly sliding inside you. your body shakes at the feeling, enjoying how he flickers them inside of you,

 holding his shoulders as he continues, you began rocking your hips against his. “tell me what you want, baby.”

 “your tongue a-and fingers.” you stutter out as he drops down kitty licking your clit. back arching as a moan escapes again.

 “f-fuck...” you whine as he holds your thigh with one hand, the other curling inside of you. “oh god.”

 trying to squeeze your thighs shut, he pulls back looking up through hooded eyes. “stay still baby, i promise it’ll feel real good.”

 the words alone made you sink further in the couch. his tongue going faster as you push towards his lips a moaning mess under him. the bundle builds up in your stomach making your breath hitch.

 “ooh fuc-fuck, im gon-” he never lets up, your thighs shaking around him as your toes began curling up. “imma gonna cum, im gonna cum.”

 you try jerking away but he holds you still as you felt yourself release all over his face. him never letting up.

 after a few more minutes of lapping all your juices, he pulls away licking his lips. “you taste good, baby.” he mutters leaning towards you capturing you in a kiss.

 tasting yourself on him as he pulls away, leaving you still shaking under him. he shoves his pants down looking at you making sure your still okay. nodding he rubs his tip over your soaking folds.

 shivering from the touch, he lines himself up entering you slowly. he leans down kissing your shoulder, trailing all the way up to your lips as you adjust. he begans moving as a slow deep pace before you beg him to go faster.

 his hands pin yours above your head as he lifts your hips up slightly, your head reals at the new angle. slipping one hand out from his grasp you hold onto the pillow above your head.

 “oh god...” feeling yourself being overstimulated as he continues the effortless pounding. your sensation starts to build again as you go to push his hips away, he grasp your wrist once more.

 the most pornographic moan escapes you as you come undone around him, he rides out your wave before he gets sloppy pulling out and cumming onto your stomach.

 heaving in and out as he gets up to grab a towel, you watch through hooded eyes him clean you up. pulling your pants up weakly he scoots you up some slipping back behind you, now cuddling you close.

 calming down beside the slight tremble of your legs, his hands run through your hair softly. “you’re my crush.”

 “i figured... but to tell you. you are mine.” he whispers in your ear before kissing your forehead as you snuggle closer.

[thoughtsbeewild]

Why did he call himself the rating machines? sounds scary

His truth social so cray cray, like damn this orange is on serious attack mode on all this socials. Slow your role, I wish i had that dedicated time to read it all, but i dont. More or likely he is repeating the same messages, just waiting for the debate to be honest..

When he posted on truth social" I am the ratings machine" that sounds scary. WTF does that mean?

My translation, created a fun meme for him aka the rating machine..like a terminator on a mission to recruit RFK, Elon Musk, and others( i dont care for)..He calling himself a ratings machine is that a positive thing? He on a rager...chill orange..

If you look from the other side of the spectrum, you see the democrats are marketing selling this delightful joy. I thought of Joy from Inside out pixel movie.

So which looks bad the ratings machine or joy? Think about it on swaying or dipping into the fantasy liberal regime or at least getting some of thier votes to the ratings machine side.

I am unclear of what the FUCK THESE Endorsement mean, is that suppose be a big deal in your politic world? Like why should we clap or give a round of a applause? i don't get it, makes no sense..

Unless you got Beyonce that is a big UNITY TWIST FOR CELEBRITY WOKE SHIT FOR THE FUCKING WHOLE WORLD TO BE BLOWN AWAY and that will take away some of liberal dummy young adolescent , kim Kardashian wanna be voters to vote orange...

CAUSE YOU KNOW ALL THE RICH ELITE CELEBRITIES, DEMONCRATS,DEEPSTATE AND BIG MAIN STEAM MEDIA THOSE ARE YOUR BIGGEST ALLIES..

I know sort of Elon Musk story, he got dissed at the white house and many other factors that lead to his decision. Make sense, like he doing a courtesy fuck you back. I get it, do your thag.

RFK, i cannot understand him at all. I dont know much, he followed the footsteps of his dad party and finally figured out at age of how old is he now(took him over 50 years for his brain to work, like what), that the demoncrat are shady,shitty, humans throwing subpoenas shut him and you up.

BTW Vegan food is gross , nasty and expensive. Have you tried plant based meatball, that shit is so nasty. Tried organic deodorant, yuck, it chaffed my armpits like crazy. Never again. organic is so expensive, double the price at whole foods, trader joes, sprouts. Like if we are inflation, why the fuck we wanna spend double more money being healthy.

Get your ass to Costco, get the family/king bulksize, your set for life ..cheaper and will last a long time to provide more room for other purchases..fuck the organic shit, that shit is gross..

I think the better idea/proposal is try to encourage people to stay in shape, but its hard cause in each human life you will have your down days, your up days.. Not everyday is always SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS, you will go through the storm with a shit load of stress and wanting BAD COMFORT YUMMY FOOD. BAD CHOCOLATE WITH ALMONDS OR HAVE A CHEAT DAY FRIDAY DONUT FOR THE WIN! but to be forced to into an organic person because RFK has a problem with it and govt will limit unhealthy food to Americans, cmon man... AMERICA SUPPOSE BE LAND OF THE FREE, FREEDOM TO EAT WHATEVER THE FUCK WE WANT!

I would want to HAVE FREEDOM TO CHOOSE TO HAVE FOOD OPTIONS HEALTHY OR UNHEALTHY, JUST LIKE HOW YOUR PROMOTING AVAILABILITY OF ELECTRIC AND GAS CARS...DONT FORCE PEOPLE TO BE HEALTHY BUT HAVE LEADERS TO ENCOURAGE A POSITIVE MESSAGE SHOULD ONE DECIDE TO WANT BE HEALTHY...JUST SAYING..

At this time, insane high prices of everything, you gotta think cheap, like a cheap ass until change happens...

But if you challenge yourself go vegan or do not look in the mirror for a week. I BET YOUR ASS WILL LOSE! that is a hard challenge.

Your marketing is basically terminator attack mode, i don't watch the other side bullshit and fakeness. So I am not sure how hardcore they are going on this magnificent joy fictional character bullshit..

[rippeds0cks]

10/30/2023

Just getting into the worst day of every year. Technically all the dates of these should be shifted a date back cause its the night of the 29th right now but it’s also 2am. As always im thinking of her. Thinkin of when she drew whiskers on me for halloween cause i didnt have s costume and so i was a cat. Thinking of the halloween i rubbed the fact the girl she hated most kept trying to talk to me cause she was talking to some loser on discord or something. That hurt her badly cause the girl was her bully. I never talked to her and the time she showed up at my house cause she lived in my neighborhood i refused to meet her cause i hate anyone whod ever do that to my ex. But who am i to be on a high horse when i hurt her like that. I was hurt and said that to be vindictive and spiteful cause i knew itd hurt and i didnt wanna be the only one hurt. I wish i was more mature at that point in time. If i could meet my younger self id torture and kill him. Theres no one on earth i hate more than me. I should be better than everyone morally but my entire life ive done nothing good. Nothing good has happened to me in life besides her and i threw it all away cause im an idiot. Its my fault my life is hollow and empty. I keep having happy dreams that fuck me up when i wake. Its startin to really get on my nerves but i literally cant control it. Plus id be lying if i said i wasnt happier than ive been in my whole life in these dreams. I dont know. I just wish i could talk to her again. Today was garbage. I had a happy dream last night just to wake up and immediately throw on some clothes to go out to the pumpkin patch with my family. Sounds great but i had to wrangle my little brother who loves being miserable and making everyone else upset. Like goddamn dude im miserable enough to wanna kill myself every night but at least literally no one else knows. No one knows how i feel besides this tumblr that no one reads. Then after that multiple hour ordeal we got food n shit and when i tossed my little brothers wrapped up burger to where he sits he got pissy and told me not to throw his food (it was fine) and then my father walked in and started yelling at me too and my little brother walks by n tells me “just go back to japan i hate you”. Which for one is a crazy reaction about a burger i paid for but for two is disappointing. Im not hurt by it cause my family has told me since i was a kid how much they wish i wasnt born, some literally some in roundabout ways. Its just disappointing cause ive been putting in so much work and effort (and money) with him to try and improve his character and i thought we were making progress but i suppose not. Anyways. Tomorrow im just gonna watch a bunch of movies to pass time till its time to sleep again. Leave my room as little as possible. Try n wash away everything at the end of the day i guess. Goodnight

[audible--silence]

Shrooms trip

I want someone else to make sense of me more than i can make of me

Shelter, food, comfort

Thats all that ya really need

Why am I thinking of Grace?

Is she my compass?

Why?

Does she even have a clue?

We’re all just collections of experiences and memories floating around this nonsense rock doing things till we inevitably arent

And in the middle of nowhere, disconnected from everything else, you dont need much. Simplicity is fine.

At least, if only for a little while

Criminal, how much should change for me and how much i should live, only to be faced with those i love, never changing or ever living more

A coin dropped, i always think im coming home.

This is only a time away. Everything i do I’m taking back home to tell to friends and show to family. What if me, now, out in the nowhere, is all there is? Im never going home? I’m starting again? god it feels so scary to think about all that ive made in twenty four years and to think about throwing that to the dirt

An odd age, 24 is.

Young enough to be a fool

Old enough to be a teacher

You thought you were good at chaos but you always need order. You need systems within chaos in order to feel safe. Is it hospo? Is it from dad? Is it from mum?

This is how i always wanted to feel

Awake, alive, thinking and considering

If there’s something in there causing you grief, remember that its in there anyway and the only way past it, is through

I wanna do shrooms w grace and w benj

This is how i wish i lived normally in day to day life with childlike curiosity and wonder, introspective intuition and warmth

“I can, so i do” - on kindness to strangers, with your old pal, barbecue andy

That phone screen is comfort and warmth for me

.

The old lady yelled at me from her humble, earthen home in the mountains

I didn’t understand a word she said

But i knew exactly what she meant

Pick up that banana peel

You had the good bit, you deal with the rest

Take pride in yourself

Treat your surroundings with respect

You’re visiting our land

Don’t disrespect us

Yes the banana might biodegrade

Yes theres bottles of tecate and plastic bags littering the floor

But the point remains

Do as your parents taught you and clean up after yourself

Treat the land well

Be a good guest

Be courteous

Check yourself

Think what you wish to be and act accordingly

Dont fucking stray.

She said. Loudly.

[spicy-tomato]

Can i pls req dream being reader's sugar daddy :O - 🌼

sorry this took a hot sec ive been working on this one for a while cause i really liked the idea, so here you go :)) it ended up being like 2k words so im sorry

You had it all, anything you could want and more. Wanted to go to rome? Done, your plane leaves tomorrow. Dream absolutely spoiled you and you couldnt be more happy about it. It started off as a thing to help you with rent, but the longer you did it the more you enjoyed being able to get what you wanted when you wanted. Today was your weekly lunch with dream, you had both agreed that at least once a week he would take time off to get lunch with you, it made you smile to see him take time for you. As the tease you were, you decided to wear something a little revealing to tease him since he had cancelled your shopping trip with him the day before. You put on a low cut crop top and some shorts that show a little too much before fixing your hair. You hear you phone ding, getting a text from dream,

Daddy dream <3

Hey baby, i'm out front whenever youre ready to go

You smile and put your phone in your pocket before walking out to his car and getting in. you kiss his cheek quickly “hi daddy” you giggle and smile at him

“Hi sweetheart” he looks you up and down before smirking “like the outfit, all for me?” you giggle and nod before he starts to drive to the restaurant, one hand on your thigh. “Do you know what you want? You know the rule, anything you want no matter the price. And after that we can go shopping to make up for my cancelling yesterday.” you smile at him

“I know, and we dont have to dream, we can just hang out. Its been a while since we did that. Maybe we can go somewhere for you to make it up to me instead” he smiles and squeezes your thigh as he pulls into the parking lot of the restaurant.

“Anywhere you want baby, only the best for you.” you look down and blush, moving over to lean your head on his shoulder as he moves a hand to pet your hair. “Ill take you anywhere anytime and get you anything you want.” you cant lie, at times you had thought about being more than just his sugar baby, having a real romantic relationship, but he was always so busy that it made it seem almost impossible. Sure he took time out to be with you but it was never a lot unless you were traveling. He didnt tell you a lot about his job either, just knew that he had a large following and that he didnt want anything serious and put his partner in a bad situation, but damn if you havent thought about him coming home to you and calling you his.

“Baby? You okay? You zoned out.” he waves a hand in front of your face and you blink back to reality.

“Yeah, sorry i just got a little distracted. Lets go get some food!” you pull away from him and he gets out, walking around to open your door for you and holds a hand out to help you. “Thank you” you smile and take his hand as you step out, he closes the door behind you and puts an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side as you both walk up to get a table. You get seated immediately and he pulls your chair out for you. “Is there a single flaw with you?” you ask genuinely, he just laughs and shakes his head.

“Theres a bunch you dont know about me, sweetheart.” you roll your eyes as the waitress comes back with your mimosa and his water, asking for your orders. He orders for you and him before she walks off to put them in. He always knows what you want and orders it for you. It makes you smile that he likes to take care of you. You shake that thought away and go back to mindlessly talking with him, waiting on the food. It comes shortly and you both start to eat. “Where do you want to go? Japan? Italy? Oh we havent been to paris in a while, maybe there.”

“I think paris would be great, its always so pretty this time of year, maybe we can have dinner on the eiffel tower again!” your eyes light up at the thought of going back to paris. Last time you went was last spring, you both walked around and had the most wonderful time people watching and shopping. You take another bite and he looks like hes about to say something before he stops himself and looks down. “What is it? Is something wrong?” you look at him concerned, scared you messed something up.

“Its nothing darling, dont worry.” you both finish up lunch and he pays before helping you up and leading you back to the car. “I have something id like to ask you when we get to paris if thats okay, its nothing bad i promise its just something ive been meaning to ask for a while is all.” you nod as he opens the door for you and helps you in. “now, a pretty girl like you needs pretty new clothes for the trip, lets go get you some.” he smiles at you as he gets in, resting a hand back on your thigh as he starts the car, leading you both to the mall.

You spend hours in there going to different stores and trying things on, him getting you whatever you wanted without any hesitation. You walk back to the car with armfulls of bags and a couple new suitcases. “Thank you so much daddy, youre the best.” you kiss his cheek and he turns a little red.

“Its no problem baby, why dont you stay over tonight and we can leave in the morning to head to the airport. I can help you pack and we can watch a movie.” you smiles and nod, putting your bags in the back of the car and your new suitcases in the trunk.

“Id like that…” you think for a second about how nice it would be to wake up next to him every day and how nice it is to fall asleep next to him when it happens, even if when you did wake up after he wasnt next to you. The cold bed always made you remember that you would never be more than this, not that this was bad in the least its just sometimes you wish you could be more. He drives you both back to his apartment building and helps you out, grabbing most of your bags, only leaving you to grab the suitcases as you enter the building. He lived on the top floor in the penthouse, expected for how much money he had. You set your stuff down in his room, your new clothes already laid out nicely thanks to him. He walks up behind you and hugs you from behind.

“Youll look so good in all of those baby, gonna be the prettiest one in paris.” he kisses your neck softly before pulling away and taking your hand, leading you to sit on the part of the bed not covered by clothes. “Let me go run you a bath and you can pick out a movie.” you nod and he walks to the bathroom, leaving you alone on the bed. You turn on the tv and start scrolling through netflix looking for a movie, finally deciding as he walks back in and picks you up. You giggle and wrap your arms around his neck, moving your head to rest on his chest as he carries you to the bathroom. He sets you on the counter and takes your shirt off carefully, leaving kisses down your neck and chest and he moves down to take your shorts off. You lift yourself gently to help him take your shorts off. He takes them off quickly before nipping and kissing your inner thighs, ghosting over your core. You whine and try to move closer to him before he presses your hips down into the counter.

“Stay still baby, dont wanna have to punish you. Daddy just wants his desert.” you nod quickly and stay still, his head diving to softly kiss your clit, causing you to whine. He chuckles and starts to slowly eat you out, almost at a teasing pace. You whine and grip the counter, trying to keep from pulling his hair. He pulls away and smiles, “good girl, being so good and not pulling my hair. Just letting daddy eat you up.” after he says that his hands move down to your thighs open as he starts to eat you out like a man starved. You let out a loud moan and throw your head back, your hands moving to his hair and tugging closer. At this point he didnt care about you pulling his hair, to blissed out by hearing your sweet moans and tasting you. Your cries became louder as he dragged you closer to the edge. as you were almost there he stopped, causing a loud whine from you as he moves up to face you. He looked like heaven like this, face covered in your slick with eyes dark from lust.

“Now my good little girl, i want you to get off the counter and bend over for daddy.” you quickly move off the counter and do as your told. “Such a perfect little girl, i want you to watch as i make you feel good, got it? You look away and i stop,” he chuckles and grabs your neck after you nod. His hand moves from your neck to your hair to hold you in place, making eye contact with him through the mirror.

“Such a precious little pet for me, arent you?” you whine as he lines up with your entrance, teasing you, causing you to press your hips back against him. He smacks your ass roughly and pulls you against his chest by your hair. “Thats not very nice bun, its almost like you want me to leave you all worked up.’’ he smirks at you before pulling you roughly back against him, ripping a scream from your throat. He sets a brutal pace, leaving no time for you to adjust to him. He keeps the pace, your legs starting to shake as he brings you back to the edge of your orgasm before quickly throwing you over it. You let out a cry of his name, trails of tears starting to run from your eyes as he keeps going.

“Pretty little bunny, always so good and tight for me. Gonna breed you so good. Fuck you until i know it takes.” he tugs your hair roughly and starts to bite and suck at your neck, leaving marks in his wake. You whine and cry, moving your hands to tug at his hair. “So close princess, gonna fill you up so good.” he moves a hand to your clit to punctuate his statement, causing a louder cry to come from you as you tip over the edge once again. His hips start to stutter as he fills you up, riding out his high with shallow thrusts letting out a few more quiet moans before pulling out of you carefully. You whine and tug at his hair as he does so. He picks you up carefully as he pulls away.

“i figured we could take a bath and then cuddle before we pack and figure out what time we should leave for the airport.” you nod and he carries you carefully over to the tub, setting you down carefully in it before getting and sitting behind you. He starts to wash your hair as you slowly drift off to sleep. You wake up briefly as he lifts you from the tub and carries you to the bed. He moves the blankets back and sets you down gently before crawling in next to you , pulling the blankets back over you.

“Be my partner,” he says as you turn towards him

“Only if we can still go to paris” you giggle and he nods, kissing the top of your head before you both drift off.

[tinandabin]

Her Cosmo Heart

Chapter 2: I regret everything.

( where I found this picture- )

"Maybe they are, maybe they aren't. But that doesn't matter because we need to run our asses away from here-" 

"Why fear when I am here!" You said while picking up the flamethrower. 

"What...the hell is that thing?" The demon's sharp and bitter voice spoke. You can see some drool slipping from its mouth- 

"Oh, trust me, something you don't wanna know..." Your ride or die gal mumbled. Flashback to the time when you wanted to use a flamethrower to cook food because you saw Bard from Black Butler do it. 

Never mind the fact your dad was supporting you through it while your mom and Ollie's dad just stood there with horrified expressions. 

"I live for destruction," You told with a grin on your face, as you pressed the button to activate it. Dont come after me, I dont know how they work. 

The flames came through it and the demon almost, almost got burnt. The fire did manage to burn a bit of its skin and very unluckily for you, it screamed. Attracting the attention of more demons. 

Because if we go down, we go down together. 

"What thE FUCK IS THAT THING," Cried out the demon. Bitches better be scared because you will burn them. 

"This is everything I never wanted.." Grumbled Ollie. I doubt others would too appreciate a hoard of starved and drooling demons running after them. 

As soon as the flames busted through the flamethrower, you got scared, I got scared, Ollie got scared, the demon got scared, everyone got scared. 

So you threw the flamethrower on the demon!  

Sometimes things are too intense so we just gotta abandon a flamethrower and run away. 

Grabbing your bag and Ollie's hand, maybe you are gay. You ran away. You Scooby-dooed the fuck away from the demon. 

"How-How the hell will we get out of this hell-" Wheezing, your helium to your balloon spoke. 

"I wish I knew." 

"What do you mean you don't?" 

"Do you know tho? ​​"

"No."

"How do you expect me to know then."

______________________________________

"So, you are telling me we are in the final selection according to the manga..and we don't know how to get out...?" Ollie blankly stared at the clouds, the gloomy atmosphere adding to your feelings. 

You nodded just as the rain started, gladly you both were under a tree. The rain could also be a demon's drool but none of you got enough energy to give a fuck. 

You hope tomorrow morning the rain would have stopped. 

Sighing, you pulled up the bag full of tasty tasty snacks. 

"You want some?" You asked while crunching on some takis. 

"Nah.." Replying, she sighed. Already tired and oh so ready to make a make-shift bed out of leaves and go into hibernation. She is the master of making things out of whatever is available. I mean, she built a playhouse when you both were 4 years or something out of rocks. The balance wasn't equal so it did shatter and fell onto both of you leading you both into a mini-coma.

You remember the dream you had of riding a lollipop in the shape of a horse that would eat anything in its way. You sometimes have seen that same horse in the corner of your eyes.  

Finishing the takis, you were about to carelessly throw it somewhere but decided against it and stored it in the bag. 

You very dearly regret not bringing a pillow. 

"NEIGHHHHH" 

...

...

...

"What the fuck." Both you and Ollie said in unison blinking and looking around you.

"NEIGHHGGHHGHH" Again, that unpleasant shrill ugly voice shouted. Stop, it will make your ears bleed. That would not be very Gucci. 

"DUDE, STOP." Ollie already angry screamed at the voice in her most high-pitched voice. What is it? A screaming contest of who can have the most high-pitched voice? You are joining it. 

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," That-That took so much of your energy and oxygen out of you- Panting, you were about to scream again when the voice came running at your voice, mhm, running at your voice. 

"NEIGHHHHH" 

As soon as you saw the creature, I kid you not, you almost shitted your pants. How can you not? IT'S THAT LOLIPOP HORSE. IT EXISTS. IN THIS UNIVERSE. AS A DEMON. As the author said, it will eat anything. Even your enemies. Even you. 

You screamed. Loud. Bet it got the attention of even the Ubuyashiki estate. Immediately, you took the empty packet of takis and threw it at that ugly ass demon. And guess what? It ate it. 

It's fucking chewing on it as if it's chicken legs. 

"HEY, WE NEED TO RUN. NOW." You shrieked at Ollie, all logical and common sense thrown out the non-existent window. 

"OKAY, OKAY, CALM DOWN FIRST YOU CRACKED EGG," She shrieked at you in the same manner. 

"Mom come pick me up, I am scared." 

As if the Gods wanted to mock you, you could see the clouds taking the shape of a "no."

Do you realise how badly you have messed up. 

Do you. 

Picking up a branch that had very in timing fallen off you hit the horse. On the head. It released a very painful shriek. 

Wait, the horse was made out of lollipops.

You just cracked its skull open. You cracked its skull open. 

"HOLY MACARONI." Eyes wide Ollie took in the sight before her. She has always been a crazy lover of candies. And by crazy, I mean crazy. 

And she was about to just start swallowing all the candy when you stopped her. I mean.... It was a demon.

Demons don't die easily.

A laugh escaped you as you looked at the pieces of the candy getting together slowly.

"I regret everything."

Chapter three.

( where I found this picture- )

MASTERLIST

[madfantasy]

Dear blogging

It's 3 am on the 7th day of Ramadan, my tummy finally settling after probably minor food poisoning perfectly timed at the start of fasting, sticking me in bed. Cuz u don't wanna throw up and break your fasting and have a day to redo when u can later. Mr perfect record speaking here, heh

I am in such a, idk, bigger than me moment — just to want to give everyone the biggest hug, in the same time weighed with this tiresome, egging me to leave earth.

How can i give love, more love, while being unable to to do much.. and knowing too little of the common..

I found myself suddenly elevated to a point I thought, "yes, I shouldn't feel ashamed of stating my isolation or justify the happenings of it anymore" I am isolated, socially inept, mentally-everything person who coexist with my guardians because I need them just as much as they need me, no matter how gruelling our relationship is, and how much i care no matter what .. that being said, everything I did to resist that failed. And I am running out of energy year after year..

I've posted to tiktok the first cat I ever see near me, and it frightening how brave it was to just not leave. When I fed it it meowed, and that meow tugged at my heart like when my baby siblings beg for food. I thought to myself, so that's how it feels with pets?

It was my new experience and even tho my body says to run and flinches every time I see it, I try to feed it. Obviously I can't feed it much and if my guardians find out about it they'd chace it away. And realistically we don't have any possibility to tend to the cat anyway

I tried to busy and give myself the joy of having a room that is perfectly red black and a bit of white. So far only this corner gives me the severe visual pleasure of seeing those colors together

But it had to claim its share of being absolutely troubling. For some reason, every red colored item I purchased either turned out to be maroon or simply they sent me a whole different creature of an item, not even close to what they advertise. I've returned so many unrelated shi and maroon colors, that I started to understand Ron's hatred of the color. And it's not a vibrant shade either, it's disgusting murky brown of a red.

And what makes me extra furious is that they don't refund the delivery costs. Why then ship me this??? Does it LOOK like the picture? It's ORANGE with different patterns!

I was especially frustrated because it would have been a match made in heaven with my rug

Now I feel absolutely helpless. I can't run more risks if they keep sucking on the delivery charge, and buying it internationally, I would just pay hundreds for shipping for worthless room shi, and asking my guardians is futile cuz they either will take 60 years to do it or just say "oh you expect me to go searching for you in this state? Beside its a small town so dont expect mcuh".. so idk what to do

For the time being, im absolutely burned out of doing art, my life line. I missed sorly how I used to draw Sev, retouched one I loved dearly nd the Harry one too, now I'm aching to illustrate the HP books AND tintin now x'c

At least im in some progress🍀

I'm off to chug water, wish you lovey dovey days, my dears 💛

[emonaculate]

Streamer Eren Headcanon pt 2

`❥ AU: Modern!AU

`❥ Genre: Fluff

`❥ Pairing: Streamer!Eren x Black!Reader

`❥ Warnings Include: Profanity, Established relationship, Eren is a dork

`❥ Author Note: You guys loved the first one so much I decided to do it again. Sorry if it isn't as good as the first one, I'm working on other projects at the same time

Eren met you during college and was instantly smitten

You were a foreign student studying abroad

He spent months trying to learn English just to properly talk to you

You finally cave in and go on dates with him because slfkssrlw how could you not when he's that sweet

Having said that, when you're frustrated whilst he streams, to check on you he'll switch over to English.

"Hey pretty girl whats wrong?"

"I can't find the letters for my cross word."

"....Aha lemme see."

He is trying his hardest not to laugh at your cute little scrunched up face as he helps you find the word.

During his charity streams, by popular vote, he lets you do his make up

Despite the stream being 24 hrs long people continue to watch because the interactions are too cute.

" 'Ren stay still."

"It feels moist."

"Never say that again."

"Wait. Babe. I want the thingy on my eyes."

"Thingy?"

"Yeah the sharp shit and the stuff on my lashes."

"Its called wing liner and mascara, Eren."

"Yeah that shit."

"Don't swear. Kids are watching."

"Man fuck them-"

"Yeager."

"....Ahem... sorry."

He is definitely the baddest bitch after you finish <3

Kept the make up on even after the stream finished

He may be a COD player but he does not have toxic masculinity

LOVES how he looks when pampered and whilst he'll never go out of his way to do make up or use your products; if you ever offer he's down

"What that's shit on your face?"

"It's an Indian face mask."

"It looks like throw up."

"Do you wanna try it?"

"Yes."

Once talked shit about braids not hurting that bad.

So the only natural solution was to make a bet

You styled his beautiful long hair into nice and neat cornrows (if you can't braid, take him to the africans)

He couldn't even sit through the procedure, literally got up and left midway through

"Fuck no. I like pain as much as the next guy but hell no."

"Aw baby what wrong? I thought it wasn't that bad."

Went on stream the next day to talk about the experience and why he wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Everyone can tell that your relationship is serious when you accidentally broke his PS5

Like he gets absolutely livid and wants to do nothing more than yell at you

But after seeing your teary eyed expression and your broken apologies in German

He just accepts it and steps completely out of the room to keep from blowing up on you.

It takes a few days and even though you feel completely like shit, you dont bother him

He finally comes around and just holds you tightly

No words or anything

His gesture is enough to let you know he forgives you.

He gets a new one immediately and is more careful when it comes to letting you mess with alone though lmao

Decides to do the little draw my life video and moves people to tears without trying

He thought his trauma was normal pfft

While that gets to people, what really affects his audience is when he get to how you make him feel

"If I can describe Y/n with one word, I'd have to say sunshine. You know that feeling when you've seen nothing but depressing rainstorms for months at a time but just that one day, the sun pokes out and shows that the world isn't so gloomy and bad. It's actually quite beautiful. The sun manages to make those sad raindrops look like diamonds. Thats Y/n to me. She makes the days where I feel at my worst better in every way. "

Eren suffers from a couple mental illnesses which is why he donates to their respected charities

He suffers from ADHD, Depression, and Anger issues.

Now you can't just magically make all of his issues go away but you being around does soothe him in a special way

Not many people can do that and LOTS have tried

But you just manage to get him in ways he cant explain

Even the videos with all of his friends involved, his focus on you

Fans can tell when you guys are not together during streams

Eren's temper is a lot shorter and he pops off quickly.

And of course he just so happens to play "getting over it"

This is one of those times he gets cancelled

Coochie-manz63: wow ur trash

"You're literally someone who hides behind a fucking screen to talk shit but I know if I was in front of you; there would be no exchange because if you so much looked at me wrong, I would have beaten your ass into fucking next year, you dyslexic fucking waste of space. Learn how to goddamn spell before you try to talk shit again."

IloveYEAGGGGER23: Damn..

You ended up being the one to clean up his mess, yet again

"Eren is very sorry for his actions, He understands how his words can be hurtful to others.. Right babe?"

"Huh? Oh um yeah.. My bad ig."

After the apology video, you give Eren one of your famous lectures.

"Eren you can't treat others like that just because you get a little upset. Remember what your therapist said about controlling your temper. You can't just do it when I'm around, you have to do it all the time.

Now Eren loves you to pieces but your lectures just do not help his ADHD mind.

So to shut you up, he does the only thing he knows how

Takes your breath and thoughts away with his passionate kisses.

His pattern is always the same

He pretends to listen, nodding occasionally, stands up and moves closer to you.

Grabs your jaw gently and tips your head back before capturing your lips into a sheering kiss that always leaves you breathless

"What were we talking about?"

"We were just going to get some food."

You're just as weak for Eren as he is for you <3

[calehenituseappreciation]

Ive seen a lot of Dream (and usually Techno and Phil too) as gods au (i have one too dw) but all of you are sleeping on the funniest option.

Tommy is the god.

Tommy.

hes the only one in that galaxy (other than drista ofc)

Just imagine how fucking funny it is like 

it would be so fucking hilarious

and tommy just doesnt tell them

so techno is just there making all these blood god jokes and jokingly telling tommy to serve him and tommys just laughing

imagine a god in the form of a chaotic 16 year old racoon gremlin just walts into your land commits arson and gets banned, only to come back with another person who he helps start a nation for drugs?

imagine how fucking funny it is

just

imagine tubbo banning a literal god from his lands and he just doesnt come back? he just plays by the rules? then goes and like sits in the corner all sad because some humans/dreamons told him to leave

ranboo, just joining the server: hi-  a chaotic gremlin god: wanna commit arson with me?  ranboo, just trying to vibe and maybe not disturb this god: sure 

Phil and Ranboo recongnize Tommy as a god on sight.

Everyone else just refuses to believe it. hes Tommy. Tommyinnit. hes just weird lol

And Drista being a fucking chaotic blood god? 

drista is open about her godhood and does not hesitate to spawn blocks

Drista finds Dream and decides she likes this small human, and dream just has to deal with it lmao.

drista and tommy are both born at the same time.

Tommy is a god of music, chaos, war and theivery (the last one bc he is a BITCH)

Drista is the blood god, chaos, deception, and theatre

okay but imagine the sbi interactions... like ig in this au tommy joins at like 12/13 years of age (in their minds) so he doesnt really grow much 

and like tommy, a literal god, just claiming phil as his father???

phil, in his house making eggs, assuming one of his sons woke up and came to the kitchen, not looking: hey son  tommy, from their couch, already deciding hes phils son now: whats up dad? phil: looks up at tommy who are you tommy: idk dad, who am i  phil: *stares at tommy for a second* eh i made extra eggs you can stay 

ASJIDGASUIOG IMAGINE TOMMY TELLING THEM HES A GOD BUT THEY THINK HES JOKING AND IGNORE HIM

everyone on the server: tommy is the youngest! tommy, as old as the universe: no im not!!!! im not a child!!!! he doesnt pout because pouting is for children and hes not a child but hes pouting tubbo: lol im older than you by a month tommy dont try to hide it tommy: im not a child!!!! techno: laughs

tommy doesn't try to hide that hes a god just its tommy

thats all the evedince anyone needs to think tommy isnt a god or powerful its like mcc hes good but only when he doesnt throw for content

quackity: sees drista written in bedrock lmao drista visited? tommy: yeah! i wrote that for her!  quackity: snorts yeahhhh sureee tommy

imagine like how fucking funny it is jsut like 

a fucking chaotic god breaks into your house androbs you makes a room under your house and decides to live in your floorboards

imagine dream like trying to manipulate tommy, and tommy a fucking anchient diety immeditly recongnizes what hes doing

but decides to play along for the angst and giggles and then actually gets mad when no one fucking cares for his theatrics

tommy, storming off to technos base to rob and build under: >:///// cant believe none of them acknoledged my  deppression 

i love that tommy stills robs everyone, he doesnt need to he can spawn in anything he wants

he just does it for the sport of robbery

JAKOGFSDOH

THE HOLY LAND

dream: im god actually tommy: thats so fucking funny lets make a cult about that :)  dream: see! look! im god! and jesus!  tommy: wheezing

imagine tommy getting stressed and letting go of his mortal form

Tommy, his human form peeling away, showing his actual form a bit: WH̸͘A͠T̷ ̶̢T͞H͢E ̡͘F̴̵͘Ù̧C͜K҉ ̶T͘͜͞E͟CHǸ͏Ǫ  Techno: HAH?

tommy just saw tubbo and got emotionally attached

Tommy, a literal god: hello Tubbo: oh hi do you like my pet bee? Tommy: you’re mine now Tubbo: im okay with this

tommy, a bored god: gives techno shapeshifting powers  techno, not even caring: changes into more human to pig-ishg forms as he wishes this is my life now ig 

phil lets tommy do fuck all in exile bc he knows hes a god hes fine

phil: IDC IF YOURE A GOD! YOU WILL DO THE DISHES NOW YOUNG MAN! tommy: grumbles but does them

phil is the only one who can control tommy

god... tommy... with star freckles... on his human form... (as well as his god one)

tommy: f̷͛͠a̵̋t̵̒̑h̸̚e̶̓͝r̸͊ ̸̐̒i̴ ̸̅̿d̷̉͆o̵͂͋ ̵̛̆ñ̸̾ő̶́t̸̎́ w̶͆͘i̴͠s̵̓̈́h̸͗́ ̵̯͗f̶͋́ő̴͑r̷̐̌ ̶͝é̵̽g̸͊͂g̵̒s̷͂̃  phil: idc, eat your goddamn eggs tommy: pouts

tommy, despite being able to get supplies himself by fucking spawning them in: hey tubbo? we need supplies 

In this au ig like if a god claims you you get a mark on your skin showing that. Drista’s would be like a green crown, Tommys would be a red and white disk (white as the outer ring and red as the center) (its different enough that if you don’t realise tommy is a god you wouldnt realise whos it is) (schlatt is the only one who never had one which shoulda been a sign dude :/)

Dream has two from the beginning, everyone else has only one, well until they meet drista. (sbi have had one since they met tommy, though they dont remember the first time they met tommy)

wait what if tommy like found them all as children one by one and later kinda pulled some strings to get them all in one kingdom. (he still joined sbi through forcing phil to adopt him) 

OKAY BUT IMAGINE IF TOMMY MET TECHNO WHEN TECHNO WAS YOUNG ENOUGH TO NOT REMEMBER

tommy would hang out with baby techno and tell him stories

once he told him the story of a man named thesus

another time he told him the story of a blood god

like for example tommys first time meeting techno would be like

(for context techno lived in a shitty village and was an orphan and it was kinda a dog eat dog place, he learned how to be strong because of it)(he was young enough that he doesn’t remember this well, just like learning about the blood god and someone giving him gold)

baby techno: sighs tommy, appearing out of nowhere: oh heyyy whyre you sad? techno: jumps turning around with a knife up ready for a fight who are you tommy: im tommy! :) techno: what do you want from me! you dont scare me! tommy: whats your name! techno: i have a knife! i'll use it! tommy: of course, thats a given, but its rude not to tell people your name techno, confused: t-technoblade? tommy: smiles thats a nice name techno: so. tommy: hm? techno: why're you here tommy: i don't have a reason. im just a traveller! techno: then why hole to this terrible village! theres nothing nice here! everyone is terrible and so are you! tommy: hmmmm i dont agree techno: what are you? a child? i thought adults were supposed to know that everyone is mean tommy: mmhmm looks at the bruise on technos face where'd you get that? techno: fight. i won. i'll win against you too! so don't try anything. tommy: of course. i would never win in a fight against a blood god techno, putting down his knife a bit, stars in his eyes: blood god? tommy: grins blood. god. i think she'd like you. techno, muttering: maybe i can give the blood god some of your blood tommy: laughs yeah, she'd defenitly find you intresting tommy: here tosses techno a golden crown at techno, he spawned it in in the moment techno: whats this? tommy: a crown, thought it suit you screams in the distance tommy: huh. i need to go. have fun lil piglin. ruffles technos hair before running off towards the screaming unbeknownst to the pig the blood god was actually the one waiting for the god he met. techno: stares at the crown 

Techno found a pouch of gold in his ‘house’ later that day. he didnt know who left it but it helped him get food for that night. (he kept the crown)

okay but imagine tommy not taking the war seriously at all, and only seeing it as a squabble between mortals, Like toddlers fighting

dream: SURENDER BY TOMMOROW OR WE'LL DECLARE WAR! wilbur: FUCK YOU WE'LL NEVER SURENDER AND JOIN YOUR SMP! Tommy: how cute

tommy doesnt realise that theyre serious until wilbur dies

tommy would usually go apeshit against anyone who dares messes with his humans, but what is he supposed to do when his humans are fighting Eachother?

wilbur: fucking goes insane and dies  tommy: hey- hey can you guys let me talk to wil for a sec? everyone else leaves tommy, unsually somber: sorry i didnt help you i forgot how easily breakable mortals are tommy: this time you wont die, and i'll make it so that you dont break again, okay? tommy: brings wilburs soul out of its body and enters his mindscape ghostbur: wakes up what- where am i? tommy: hi there ghostbur: who are you tommy: i go by a lot of names all, one, you, the world, the universe, god, but you can just call me tommy ghostbur: oh okay. who am i? tommy: you're name was wilbur soot. you were the son of philza minecraft and brother to Technoblade, Tubbo and myself. ghostbur: was? tommy: well you see, you died. ghostbur: oh... well what am i then? tommy: a ghost! well actually its your choice. would you like to continue your existance or fade away with your body? ghostbur: i dont want to fade away! tommy: smiles thats what i thought you'd say stretches his hand to wilbur ghostbur: grabs tommy hand tommy: lets go home

ghostbur doesnt remember that though

he only remembers the good

tommy wont let him remember the bad, what if he breaks again? mortals are so fragile

phil realises what tommy did as soon as he sees ghostbur 

drista, painting tommys nails (there both in god form btw) (after wilburs death btw): tommy shouldn't you of all gods realise how fragile they are?  tommy: i know just... forgot  drista: sighs and nods i get what you mean, especially with the ones we found... they act a lot like gods sometimes i forgot they arent  tommy: ikr? wait- drista here gets drista's hair out of her face you were gonna get it on my nails, anyways, don't judge me. we all know if dream died you would turn him into a ghost too drista: smirks not if you do it first, we all know you would tommy: you say that as if you wouldn't fight me to do it first  drista: .... tommy: ... drista: both of us when he dies? tommy: nods tommy: anyways my turn to do your nails 

or like tommy with ghostbur like

ghostbur: i don't like this :( tommy, a worried brother and god: whats wrong? ghostbur: everyone is mad at me and i d-dont know why- why are they mad at me tommy: theyre mad at something alivebur did ghostbur: b-but im not alivebur sniffs it hurts. i dont like it. tommy: spawns in some blue here ghostbur: whats that? tommy: its some blue! it'll help you not hurt anymore! ghostbur: how does it work? tommy: see how its blue? ghostbur: nods tommy: well its blue because it sucks up all the bad feelings! it'll help ghostbur: !!!!! ghostbur: presses the blue into his chest ghostbur: !!!!its working!!!! :D tommy: smiles good

wilbur fucking died and tommy went from annoying little brother to caring older brother

tommy just wants to help his brother :) though he doesnt realise that not letting ghostbur remember bad memories isnt good

*at logsted shire btw* ghostbur: who are you? tommy, chuckling: did you forget me already ghostbur? ghostbur: i didnt forget you! i think! you're tommy! i just... you're different tommy, looks over at ghostbur: different how? ghostbur: you're not normal are you? tommy: grins whaaaaat? you think im weirdddd? how heartbreaking... my own brother thinks im weird, this is terrible ghostbur: giggles tommy: but really, don't worry about it bur. ghostbur: you sure? tommy: yeah, dont worry about me ghostbur: smiles okay! do you want some blue anyways? tommy: giggles sure! ghostbur: grins

ghostbur isnt worried about tommy

he knows hes strong

phil having to tell tommy that he cant just not let wilbur remember the bad memories

and tommys like "what if he breaks again!" and phil hugs him and tells him to at least ask ghostbur if he wants to remember and tommys like ‘fine’

tommy: hey bur? ghostbur: yeah? tommy: do you like you're memories? ghostbur: i mean, yeah its hard not to when you only remember the good tommy, quietly: would you want to remember the bad? ghostbur: w-what brought this question on tommy: answer the question ghostbur: no- alivebur was badi shouldn't want to- tommy: but what do you want bur? wilbur, silent for a moment: yeah- yeah i do. not that i like the bad memories! they hurt... but i wish i could remember tommy: ... ghostbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? ghostbur, with tears in his eyes: do you think they'd be less mad at me if i could remember, maybe then i could repair my relationships, what the hell am i supposed to do when i dont even remember hurting them? tommy: what if they dont? what if you break again? ghostbur, saltily: we'll maybe i'll be able at least be able to say i know why everyone hates me tommy: i know how to get all of your memories back ghostbur, looks towards tommy in shock: you do??? tommy: nods ghostbur, voice wavering: for how long tommy: since the beginning ghostbur: and you didnt tell me tommy: i did what i thought was best. i just didnt want you to hurt anymore. ghostbur, angrily: WELL THAT CLEARLY WORKED DIDNT IT? tommy: sorry wilbur, sometimes i forget how to handle humans ghostbur: what- tommy: sighs and taps ghostbur on the forehead and ghostbur does the ghost equivilent of passing out tommy: wont hide any memories this time

ghostbur doesnt wake up, instead wilbur wakes up weither thats good or bad we'll see

wilbur, waking up with all his memories: HOLY SHIT TOMMY WASN'T KIDDING phil, who was reading beside the bed tommy placed wilbur into, which was in technos house. yes he broke into technos house with a passed out wilbur. move on.: hm? wilbur: holy shit phil: huh? yeah. wilbur: wait you knew? phil: yeah i recongnized him as soon as i saw him about 5 years ago now? wilbur: excuse me while i freak out because my little brother is an actual god

it really hits wilbur that tommy is a god later

wilbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? wilbur: how fucking old are you? tommy: snorts of course thats the first thing you ask wilbur: well? tommy: i dont really know the exact years since years are kind of a human thing that were invented recently wilbur: they were invented thousands of years ago- tommy: but it was around the beginning of this galaxy wilbur, softly: what the fuck

tommy telling wilbur stories about different heros and villains and different humans he met during his life.

Adsjbffsg what if Tommy made himself blonde and blue eyed and white bc thats hyow the first human he met looked like asjfhsd

and just didnt change that, despite meeting new humans, its just his defult settings.

he would totally do this tho im crying.

drista just based her human form off dream because she is his sister now. he must deal with this. trying disowning me when i look like you BITCH.

thats my take anyways later might continue this

[joyaphoria]

with the flowers (8)

part eight: the chaos within

pairing: suna x f!reader

summary: if a teacher had been the one to catch suna dangling on the edge of inarizaki’s roof, he definitely would’ve been in trouble. except it wasn’t a teacher that caught him, it was you—the school whore. yea, he’s starting to wish it was a teacher.

word count: 1.2k

this is a retell of chapter six, but in y/n’s perspective the strikethroughs are supposed to be there re-read part six before reading this

© 𝘫𝘰𝘺𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘢

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one, two, three.

three hours seconds, he’s been staring at your house.

he’s not actually gonna come inside, is he? no, he thinks you house is pathetic.

he’s walking up the driveway; no now he’s on your path he’s on your path.

‘why are you here?’ “you’re here!” you stare smile at him, your eyes piercing into running along to the girl he brought with him.

more people, there’s more. run, get away. leave, go away.

“oh, and you brought—wait, is that your sister?”

it’s a stupid question. of course she’s his sister. now he thinks you’re stupid. you’re stupid you’re stupid, you’re stupid.

“my parents aren’t home right now, they thought i should bring her.” he scoffs replies.

he’s staring he’s glaring parents parents parents.

you stare at her pat her head, before closing the door moving aside to let them in. 

‘you coming was already too much.’ “don’t even worry about it don’t even worry about it,” you smile.

repeating sentences is pathetic weird. shut your mouth don’t do it.

send them away, show them you aren’t one to be messed with.

“i have a little sister you can play with!” you offer her your hand, and she hesitantly takes it. “don’t touch me.”

go away, go away please. leave us alone.

“hanakooo!” don’t come downstairs, stay upstairs please. strangers, they’re strangers you shouldn’t have brought here stay upstairs don’t come down stay upstairs don’t come down-

“this is aiko and suna.”

go back upstairs.

“look after aiko for me, okay?”

don’t get to close to this girl, hana. you don’t know her.

“how old is your sister?” suna asks, following you to the kitchen.

why does it matter to him?

“none of your business” “fourteen.”

it’s quiet it’s too quiet he’s gonna think you’re overthinking the question and that you’re being rude, you have to-

ask him back.

“same as yours?”

he nods.

hanako doesn’t do well with girls her age you shouldn’t have let that girl into your house especially not secluded in a room with your sister what if that girl hurts her what if she’s rude and hurts hanako’s feelings—

you make your way up the stairs and he follows you.

“don’t follow me.”.

-

laugh or he’ll think that you hate him.

you laugh again, so hard that you think you might throw up.

it’s quiet again, and you want it to stay that way. you want him to leave and allow you to bask in the silence peacefully, on your own. 

“why do you do it?” suna asks out of the blue, his back on your bed and his feet on the carpet, launching one of your stuffed toys into the air and catching it.

ignore him ignore him ignore him ignore him- “if you’re gonna ask a random question like that, i’m gonna need a little context, pretty boy.” you tease, jumping onto your bed and causing him to nearly fall off.

smile, smile, don’t let him pity you.

“’donate pussy for money’” he clarifies—and you want to drop dead—mocking your past statement. “why do you do it?”

‘why do you ask?’ “why do you ask?”

you weren’t supposed to say that out loud you were supposed to answer with a straight answer or else he’ll pity you he’ll think that you’re coming up with something to say because you’re pathetic and useless and—

“well i mean, you live in a perfectly stable house, your parents—” what will he say if i tell him that it’s only my mother will he pity me will he think i’m stupid will he-

 “—both have jobs, you have food, i don’t get why.”

of course he doesn’t get it, no one ever gets it.

tell him to mind his own business because you’re upset laugh because you don’t want him to think you’re upset.

he watches as you burst into yet another fit of laughter, holding onto your stomach as if you were in pain because you are, it hurts, everything hurts.

“i had dont have a dad.” you nudge him. “my dad committed suicide when he was seventeen—” too soon too soon too soon, change it now.

“—you know, jumped off of inarizaki’s roof.” better, much better better, much better.

suna frowns, furrowing his eyebrows. “that isn’t funny.”

that was insensitive that hit too close to home don’t let up so easily—don’t be a pushover you pathetic whore.

“oh come on, you know it is.” you look away smirk. “i wasn’t joking though, he really did commit. he wasn’t quirky enough to jump off a roof he wasn’t quirky enough to jump off a roof, but yea, he committed.”

you almost said it twice you almost said it twice.

he’s staring at you. did you say it twice? he’s gathering his thoughts.

he’s judging you he’s processing—this is a lot to process no it isn’t.

he’s gonna keep staring if you don’t do something let him.

“you look ugly when ur serious.” you admit, squishing his cheeks together. “ease up a lil.”

that was rude, take it back. that was sily; in a weird good way.

“straightforward much?” he licks the hand closest to his mouth, and you scream shriek, tearing yanking your hands away.

“i’m just saying!” you frown giggle, wiping your hand on his shirt. “it was way before i was born anyways.”

right, you forgot to add that. now he thinks you’re a traumatized freak.

“wait, but if he committed before you were born, then hanako—”

“has a different father, pervert, male, worthless-piece-of-shit, guy, person, asshole, dad, dad, dad, but he took off a long time ago.”

and he better not come back he better not come back.

he’s not satisfied with the answer he’s not satisfied.

“i do this for her, you know?” you say, once you’ve both ended up laying side by side on your bed. 

for hanako, say you do it for hanako

“for hanako. i wanna send her to a college in the us.”

it’s half true it’s the truth.

“does your mom know? like about any of it?” no she doesn’t, she wouldn’t care she’d be really upset.

“why hooking though? aren’t there better and safer options?” 

because you’re used to it.

“you mean like working as a cashier?”

too many people it’s too many people they look at you and they know they know you’re filthy you’re disgusting it’s 

too many people.

“yeah.”

how to justify how to justify how to-

“you’re probably right.” you shrug. “i guess i just like the attention,” 

liar.

liar

liar

liar

liar

“i like that people like my body, you know?”

kill yourself.

shut up

shut up

shut up 

shut up.

“it’s one of my worst best traits.”

its hell, i want to get away i want to get away.

die die die die

die.

notes:

—  i hope this gives a little insight into how much is going on in y/n’s head

—  it’s just utter chaos and jumbled words and thoughts and things that don’t make sense and things she wants to/can’t/doesn’t know how to say; so if this was confusing or hard to understand, it’s supposed to be like that

—  again, if you didn’t re-read chapter six, i recommend you do; the chapters are the same but the different perspectives change everything.

—  no one would be able to last a day in her head, let alone stay sane.

taglist: @hotaruaizawa @its-the-aerieljeane @yourlocalbabybird @bakudummy @sunahyejin @satorinnie @lilith412426 @zukoslosthishonor @rintarovibes @underiwa @m01k @rinsangel @iicherrycore @kamalymaly @lmaosuna @whorefornoodles​ @anngelllla​ @ohrintarou​ @call-me-lulu @imeowforu @tsuksdinonugget @namyari​ @bakugouswh0r3 @theblueslytherin

[fictionalreads]

Stranger Things Season 4 Episode 9

Russia Crew

Fucking Yuri.

JOYCE AND HOPPER ARE TOO CUTE

Oh Jim. I don’t like that you’ve been beaten like that. I don’t like you hurt.

Hopper has been eating shit. Of course he’s been thinking about the food.

ARE THEY GONNA KISS? THEY KISSED YAY

Oh fuck. The phone.

Oh Hopper. He just wanted to get home and see his kid and now she’s in danger.

They’re staying?! THEYRE GOING BACK TO THE PRISON?! No I wanted a meet up!

I’m with Murray. I have a bad feeling about this.

It got out. How did it get out?

Murray is hilarious.

No Hopper I’m tired of you being in danger.

YES MURRAY YES KEEP GOING WITH THE FIRE

This shit really don’t die.

Drag the sword through the fire Hop!

Hopper you seem to be enjoying that fight.

Hawkins Crew

Guys this is a bad plan. I don’t like this.

This dude is gonna mess it all up isn’t he? Mind your business.

Awe Max and Lucas🥰

I don’t like this. Something is wrong. Abort. ABORT

Oh Max. 🥺

Cause it’s not Lucas. That’s why.

RUN ERICA RUN

He’s telling you the truth Jason. I can see how this looks with Max in the trance but he’s serious!

KICK HIS ASS ERICA

Okay come on Lucas. You gotta do better than that.

EL TO THE RESCUE

NOOO MAAAAXXXXX

Max wake up. Get out of there!

So…Are her bones still broken?

OH FUCK SHES DYING NOOOO FUCK

What is happening? Don’t give your life in the process though El.

Upside Down Crew

Steve being worried has me worried.

Eddie is such a cinnamon roll!

Nice moment. But let’s focus on killing this thing first, yeah?

Awe I think Eddie really liked Chrissy. In an alternate universe, they could’ve been cute together.

Stop being excited. Get out of the upside down.

Oh no. Dustin’s in danger. I don’t like this.

How could y’all forget the vents?

Can y’all get out of here and think of something better?

CLIMB EDDIE CLIMB

Why are you stopping? NO EDDIE YOU DONT GET TO SACRIFICE YOURSELF DO NOT DEVIATE FROM THE PLAN

Eddie. No. It’s okay to run away. You said it yourself. GET TO SAFETY EDDIE

Dustin why the fuck did you go back in?!

No no no. It was a miracle so you need to leave.

Um. Why are y’all waiting? LIGHT HIS ASS UP!!! Throw the shit Steve!

STOP LOOKING AT HIM AND KILL HIS ASS

Nancy is brave.

Damnit he’s gone. I knew it was too good to be true.

NOOOOO EDDIE Why am I sobbing at Eddie’s death speech?

😭😭😭😭 He just wanted to graduate!!

California Crew

Oh they’re getting gas.

Argyle what place. I swear if you’re just talking high imma be mad.

The pizza place?

Purple Palm Tree Deluxe coming in clutch.

LMAO he’s making pizza.

Awe Mike and El moment. Of course Argyle ruins it.

Oh poor Will.

Jonathan trying to let Will know it’s okay and he still loves him.😭💙

Low key wish we got him saying the words to Jonathan. Cause right now it just feels like this thing they know but don’t talk about. And it’s okay to talk about Will being gay.

Get to her El.

Eleven get there already!

Yeah Fight El! But fight faster.

After

Oh now people wanna leave Hawkins.

OH MY GOD THEYRE STILL ON THIS CULT BULLSHIT Okay the doorway part is true.

I’d have told him he wasn’t allowed to leave ever again too Mrs. Eheeler.

Oh she’s in the hospital now. OH ERICAS THERE TOO

Still a disaster Robin. Steve is still a great friend.

Oh Eddie’s uncle! I’m gonna cry again.

Oh Dustin!! Stop I’m already crying!

Where the hell is the Russia crew?

OH THIS HOPPER AND ELEVEN REUNION IS EVERYTHING

Oh God can they leave Will alone.

Are they in the upside down now?

And now I have to wait for more. I just hope it’s not three years again.

Miscellaneous

I don’t even like the title of this episode.

Jason. You’re irrelevant. Go elsewhere. Please.

I don’t like this tension I have.

El can’t die, right? They still have another season.

So how did Vecna lose his nose? Cause he still had it after he went to the upside down.

Oh I don’t like this bad news montage.

Well they can’t ALL die. Right? There’s too much time left in the episode. I feel confident they’ll get away somehow.

Okay they killed it. But there’s still too much time left in the episode.

Oh Jason’s gone.

I DONT LIKE THIS

[honeypirate]

Fate of the Clouds

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 Gajeel x Fem Reader 

unedited 

“Hi” you say softly, sitting beside him against the side of the guild house. “Leave me alone” he turned away from you, his voice gruff. He smelled like fireworks and his hair was singed in a few places. You reach out and pinch the end of a lock that was smoldering “all that gorgeous hair, would hate for it to burn” you twist on your butt, laying your back against the sun warmed grass and placing your feet up against the building, you place your hands behind your head as you looked up at the clouds. 

“Why?” his voice was laced with annoyance that you were 50% sure was fake. You look over at his face “why what?” you smile softly at him and you watch his guard fall just a little bit “why won’t you leave me alone?” you sit up again, crossing your legs and resting your hands on your thighs as you study him for a moment “Gajeel, if you really want me to leave and I’m making you uncomfortable, I will. But honestly, I’d like to get to know you. So if it’s alright with you, i’d like to lay here by you and talk, unless you don't want to, then we can just sit together.” 

You watch his emotions in his eyes, he couldn’t understand you. You were sweet and cute and he heard all about how strong a wizard you were. You watched him tear apart the guild hall but you were here by him. Telling him you wat to get to know him? He couldnt decide if you were joking or not. When he doesnt say anything for a few minutes you lay back again, smiling as you look up at the sky. 

After ten minutes go by and your eyes flick down to him, he’s looking at his hands in his lap “Do you mind if I talk to you? You don’t have to respond '' your voice was quiet, like it was carried to his ears on the breeze, his gaze froze on a scar he has on his knuckle “I dont mind” his voice was quieter than you had heard before. His usual anger was gone, just like you suspected it was just a cover for his real feelings. You sigh softly and look back up to the clouds “there is a cloud up there that looks like a horse” he looks up then, his eyes searching, you chuckle and pat the ground next to you softly. He looks down at you, considering, trying to figure you out, to see if you could be hatching a plan. 

He sighs and moves over so he was laying beside you, tensing and watching your face when you scoot closer to him, moving your head down next to his so you could find the cloud again “there” you point up and it takes him a moment to tear his gaze from your soft smile to follow your finger to the right cloud. You move back into your place and smile as you watch the cloud float away and become a blob again. 

“When i was younger..,” you look at him “now you have to promise me you wont tell anyone this, okay? Pinky promise me and since we’re friends you cant break it” you hold up your hand, pinky out and wait for him. His head turns, looking at your eyes and then down to your hand. His fingers drum against his stomach before he hooks his pinky around yours. You smile and pull your hand still connected to his and kiss the back of your thumb, pushing his hand towards his lips next “kiss or it doesnt work” his cheeks flush and he huffs in annoyance but kisses the back of his thumb anyway “thank you Gajeel” you whisper before your hands rest against your stomach again. 

“When I was younger, I had a job on a farm. I would use my water magic to help the crops among other things. I once rode a horse to check for the cows and was feeling really proud of my horse riding skill, I rode down the wrong path, got scraped off the back of my horse and thrown down the mountain. Had a nasty cut on my neck and i wasn't trusted riding alone again. I know this story is stupid, juvenile, but the point is this; trust is something that is really hard to earn, but worth every second. Sure i have other stories i could have told you, other magical ones where i fucked up missions. But all of them have the same point. Proving that you can grow as an individual, proving that people are worthy of a second chance, it’s nice that we even have that opportunity.” you point out another cloud “ooh look at that one! It looks like a starfish!” you chuckle and notice the smile on his lips  

 “Forgiveness has always come easy to me. I truly would like to be your friend and get to know you. No jokes, no dirty tricks. I’m here if you’ll have me Gajeel” he sighs gently, his hands holding his shirt in his fists, his knuckles turning white, after a few minutes his hands release his shirt and he relaxes into the grass.

 He doesn't get any bad vibes from you, if he had to put a picture to how you feel to him, he would picture a field of daisies on a summer day. “That one” he reaches up and points “that one looks like a dragon with a rider on it’s back” you chuckle and follow his finger to the cloud you could see the dragon but figured the rider smudged away “it does! That’s so cute” his cheeks flush and a true smile sits upon his lips. 

After another ten minutes storm clouds roll in as well as cold winds, you shiver and sit up again, turning towards him as he sat up next to you, you reach out slowly and when he doesn't move or say anything you gently run your fingers through his thick hair, pulling out the pieces of grass that stuck to him. “Thank you for letting me sit with you” you smile sweetly up at him, even sitting by him he was much taller and bigger than you. “Thank you, for wanting to” he avoids your gaze, his cheeks dusting pink yet again. 

Every day you would eat meals with him and talk, slowly you would convince others to give him a chance. Inviting others to sit with you both, he slowly opened up more to you and you would cloud gaze and chat about your missions and other things you have witnessed or experienced. but even then, you had to take missions that kept you apart occasionally. 

Excitement was flooding your system, you were a few blocks away from home and you haven't been back for a few months, your last mission was difficult and you spent some time in the hospital. You were so excited to see Gajeel you almost couldn't handle it, forcing yourself to take normal steps and not to run. 

You open the door and look around at everyone, looking for your specific person. Gajeel was in the back of the room, deep in conversation with Levy. Your smile disappears and you feel your heart skip before it crumbles into your stomach. You were happy for him, proud of his growth in the guild. You blink back your tears and then clear your throat softly, working your way through the crowd to the stairs to the dorm. 

You were supposed to be back today, where were you?! He was checking the door every few minutes, his heart racing and his foot tapping against the stone floor. He had gotten back from his mission a few days prior and was waiting for you, you sent him a letter saying when you expected to be back and he kept that letter in his inside jacket pocket. “Hey Gajeeeeel” Levy says as she comes over to his table and he groans internally, he just wanted to talk to you,. 

After humoring her for a few minutes he hears the door close behind him, he turns his head and looks for you but doesn't find you, his eyes lock with Mirajane and she points across the crowded room. When Gajeel followed her finger he sees the end of your hair and bag disappear up the stairs “excuse me” he says, cutting her off and standing quickly, running after you. 

The moment your door closes it’s being opened again, you gasp and your bag falls to the ground “why didn’t you come to me?” he asks, his eyes filled with hurt. You smile up at him and reach behind him, closing the door gently. “You looked busy” you laugh nervously and he furrows his brow “no, dont, don't do this, okay? I was counting down the seconds until you returned, I always count the seconds until you return. So please, come see me immediately next time. Okay?”  your breath hitches as you look at him, his words sinking into your heart. His eyes were wild and his hands were stretched out towards you, he wanted to hug you but you haven't broken the physical touch barrier.. until now. 

You throw your arms around his neck and he tenses, his breath hitching “I missed you so much Gajeel” you whisper and his body relaxes against you, his arms holding you to him tight as he buries his face into your hair. “I missed you too” you pull back and smile up at the dark haired man “wanna get some food and cloud watch and catch up?” you ask and he nods “i’d love to” he says, his gruff voice extremely softer than usual. 

Sitting at a table downstairs you eat your fill, after being gone for so long and not eating enough, it was like you were in heaven. “wow i cant believe you took 5 different missions in two weeks” you say as you finish eating. He laughs “i just took smaller papers so i could back here when you would '' you smile warmly, but he was too busy eating to notice the sweet look you’re giving him. 

You end up on your spot on the grass outside of the build, watching the clouds and talking. You show him your healing wounds that will most likely scar and tell him about your time in the hospital. He looks worried about you but tries to laugh it off “you were scars like badges” you giggle “well duh. I work hard for them” his finger tips brush one of your healed scars and he sighs “i wish you didnt have to get hurt though” he whispers and your heartbeat skips. His eyes meet yours and you smile softly, his eyes looking down to your lips and you almost lean forward to kiss him but before you can he’s turning his attention back to the sky. 

I am such a coward he thinks. How am i supposed to fix this? How do i get back to that moment. His eyes are on your face, watching the clouds reflected on your shiny eyes, the tufts of moisture that you gaze at like you’re reading his fate, and he gets an idea. “look at that one” he points and you don’t really know which one he’s talking about “which one? What does it look like?” He laughs “come see it from my perspective” he all but whispers and you roll on your side, bringing your face close to his to trace his eyesight to the right cloud. But his eyes were on you, on your smiling face and bright eyes, you were gorgeous.

“That one. Right there. It’s a cloud that looks like a cat” you reach out and place your hand on his bicep, your small hand traveling softly down his arm until your hand rests against his bracelet “I can’t find it” you whisper and pout, how could you be so adorable? “It’s right there I don’t know how you can’t see it” he chuckles and you turn your head around, trying different angles before you turn and look back at him “I can’t find it-“ your breath hitches when you notice his gaze is on you, a small smile on his lips and his eyes gentle. His hand moved to cup your cheek “you’re beautiful” his gruff voice was a low whisper, the wind blowing your hair behind you and rustling his into his face. Your hand moves without thinking, brushing his hair out of his eyes and cupping his cheek for a moment. 

“Did these hurt?” your fingers gently brush the studs along his eyebrow “they were magic” you hum, probably hurt as much as the guild tattoo. “These too?” your first finger gently slides down the side of his nose and he nods, his eyes never leaving yours, “what about .. these?” your thumb runs along his bottom lip before pulling it down gently, letting it smack against his teeth as you brush his chin studs. His eyes flick down to your lips and you lean in almost all the way before your eyes flick up to his “Gajeel.. Did you really miss me?” you whisper and a strangled groan escapes his throat “every day” his lips touch yours and you feel sparks burst across your skin, your hand moving to tangle in his hair as he pulls you closer to him. 

You pull back and sigh, your eyes closed for a few moments before they flutter open and meet his. He has a soft blush on his cheeks and a smile “should we form a group?” you ask and he laughs, bringing a smile to your lips “probably” he says as he brushes his fingertips across your cheek “but.. More than that right?” he asks with furrowed brows and you chuckle, pressing your lips softly to the tip of his nose before turning and looking up at the clouds again, like you could read your fate in the tufts of moisture. 

 “I love you Gajeel” you whisper and his breath hitches “you do?” he asks, reaching out and turning your gaze back to his. You smile and nod “yes” he smiles softly, a soft sigh of peace as he presses his forehead to yours “I love you y/n” 

[ellitx]

!! Long one inc with modern au college Himmel, will be hurt/comfort (might be cringe i dunno i went ham) TW: mentions of mental illnesses and self harm, mentions of injuries, and smut ye

Was a quiet rainy day as you slept, back pressed into your boyfriend's chest, you had decided to come over to watch movies and spend some time relaxing together after finals but about an hour in you let a lull like state wash over you.

"This is the only time you look so peaceful y/n.." Himmel thought, "if only you'd let your walls down a bit.. just enough to let me in.." he brushed your cheek with the back of his hand with a feather light touch on your cheek "Im so sorry that you have to carry so much weight.. I'd do anything to help wash it away or at least help lift it"

Drinking in your form as you slept softly into him, he wishes to stay like this for hours, but he knows that as soon as consciousness comes over you again, the walls will be re-built, and your shoulders will re-tense with the weight they bear. He leans in to kiss your temple and stroke your hair softly praying not to wake you

Recalling all the stories you told him, the shitty ex that was so selfish of his own desires that it implanted the idea that all intimacy was, was to please the man. Now leaving scars that you cant even take for yourself in those times even though all he wants is to please, and pour the love you desperately need into you, over and over but even a year or so into the relationship, you had only given to him.. bearly even allowing him to sheath himself in you, and thats just the tip of the iceberg " you dont even let anyone help you, but all you do is give, how much longer until you cup is empty.." He thought kissing you softly once more

"Hmm..?" You sir and turn to face him "I-i'm so sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep.." he strokes your hair again to hush you "Its okay, Im glad you were able to get some rest" he whispered kisses on the lips proper pulling you in a bit closer and letting his hands run up and down your sides. "Himmel I hope youre not upset at me.." you gripped onto his shirt a bit and buried your head in his chest "we were supposed to hangout today and I feel awful for falling asleep.." you mumbled

"Stop that now.. you were exhausted.. its really okay" he softly pulls your face up to kiss you again licking your bottom lip praying you let him in, turning you head slightly and parting your lips you let him in "Thank god at least this.." he thought as he let his toungue rub against yours while sliding his hands down your sides and slipping his finger tips under the hem of your tights.

A small flinch came from you as he did this as a bit of panic started to set in.. you were so self conscious of yourself, you didnt feel ever adequate enough even to call your self his lover or even to indulge yourself in things like this. He can feel you starting to tense up.. "Mmm.. y/n just relax love.. please.." he start trailing kisses down your neckline "H-Himmel.. I really don't know I.." tears start to well up in your eyes. He knew what was about to happen you were going to push him away and it made his heart squeeze in agony all he wanted was to give and show you love, but he didn't want to force it too much to scare you but it had been going on so long, so he tried shifting his weight to straddle you but you managed to squeeze out from underneath him.

"I-i'm sorry.. I think I should go.." you choke out, your voice shaky whilst trying to stay composed you head for the door. "Y/n Wait please!" You heaved a heavy sigh as you felt his hand catch your wrist, you try to twist out of it but he pulls you in firm but gentle.. " God y/n.. just let me in..please let me tear down those walls and let me love you.." he swallowed, his throat bobbing and icy blue eyes staring straight into yours "You can't keep pushing me out.., you won't even let me help you with anything and it hurts.. even when your sick and dead tired all you do is push me and anyone out.. saying that its alright but it's really not.." He chocked out between sobs "please y/n.. I love you.. and if you love me like you say you do then please just let me.. anyone, help you.. I cant stand to see you like this.. Ive known you for our whole lives almost and I finally have you.. and seeing you in pain from the hand you've been delt hurts more than you'd ever imagine..!

You stood frozen wet face and shaking, silently letting all the words sink in, you felt awful for doing this to him, you thought, he had been there with you through almost every step of your life, even giving you up to a man who he wasn't good to you because you said at the time because you said it was what would make you happy at the time and even now.. he'd be willing to throw everything at the wall to sew you back together, to see the smile, the true smile that he hasent seen in years.

And again all you could do is "I'm sorry Himmel you deserve someone better.. you've done so much for someone whos worth nothing.." so you get up and pull away from him once again and run out of the door into the rain but not soon after did you feel your soaked self being almost held with unwavering force "NO..! Not again.. not ever.. and plus I am not letting you leave this house in this weather I couldn't bear to see you sick from something I could prevent..!" He yells as he slung you over his shoulder carrying you back inside and into the bathroom

"Strip.. youre soaking wet.. and shaking.." he said calm but sternly ,you flushed at his command, hes usually not like this.. you thought through your tears and nervously removed your clothing as did he. You curled up to cover your naked form as he bent down placing a towel over your shoulders and held you, slowly rubbing to dry and warm you, and as soon as you were dry and coming down from your clouded tears, he helps you up off the floor draping the towel over the both of you leading to the mirror.

"Y/n.. I know when you look into this mirror you dont like what you see.. and think you dont deserve the I want to give you.. but please.." He pauses to hold your hands at your sides , to let all your beauty and all your scars, visible and unseen reflect back at you "see yourself through my eyes for just a bit my songbird.. you're not what you see.." you again begin to let tears fall and with a quiet sob "I-Im so sorry.. I do love you.. im just scared.."

"Then let me fix whats right here.." he snakes his arm around to gently rest a hand on your heart "and right here.." and his other over your womb space then lays his head on your shoulder with a kiss to the crook of your neck "Let me pull the sorrow from between your legs like silk.. knot after knot after knot.." he whispered almost pleadingly

"O-okay.." you lean into him a bit wiping your tears with the back of your hand kissing his temple. With that he gently picks you up with your legs wrapping around his waist he grips you firm and gentle untill he enters his bedroom, locking the door behind him, then setting you down on the bed not once letting go.

"Himmel.. are you sure you still..? "Shh.. please.." he kisses to hush you, then slowly trails soft sensual kisses down your body worshipping each and every inch, pouring all the love you gave him back into you trying to ignore his own arousal. Trying your best to keep still your face burned as he did this, not wanting to move and let any moans escape, you put your hand over your mouth to stifle them "no one will hear you its okay.." He said as he continues downward towards your heat "Nng.. my love I-" he felt you begin to tense up again he rubs his hands down your thighs and kisses them softly sucking and licking them "Just relax y/n.."

You breathed a shaky sigh as he spread your legs and began to slow rub at your core admiring your slick that adorned his finger tips. "Ahh..~ its a shame you've been keeping yourself from me.. your essence is divine" his hot breath so close to you it sent electricity you've never even felt before, were you even worthy of such extacy? you though stifling another moan, internally fighting the want to pull away again, if its what he wants then you shall deliver.

"Oh how Ive longed for this.. to please you, to drink in every once of you.. and to replace the pain with pleasure.." He began to lick a stripe up your slit and gently pressed his two fingers on your clit, swirling them in unison to bring you to a higher bliss "H-Himmel.. Ahh.. its so good.. Nng..!"

The heat building in you, you couldn't help but grind against him "Dont be ashamed love..~ do what mm..~ feels best for you.. dont hide your moans.. I wanna hear my pretty little song bird sing~! He saids darting this tongue deeper into you whilst grinding against the bed, he couldn't help it, its all ever dreamed of ashamedly, consuming you whole so his arousal was unmatched

Panting with heavy and louder moans you wrapped your legs around his head, letting gain more access, with him gripping onto your thighs and moaning into you, the vibrations coming from him wond you so tightly threatening to spill all over him.. so you grip his head and try to push him away "Ahh..! Im.. so close.. Himme-- Ahh!" He only grips you tighter and grinds himself harder against the sheets chasing his own release "Dont..! Aaah!! Im right there..dont push me off of you..! I love you so.. dont deny me..! Nnnng..!" And with him losing himself in you, lapping at you so desperately you come down onto him, covering him in you, with him coming in tandem..

Panting he wipes his face with the sheets "Thank you for finally letting me love you right.."

(im so sorry if this is omega long and kinda intense?? Kinda just rolling with it i have full himmel disease -💚)

ahhhh another himmel food <333 you’re feeding me so much with these sweet sweet himmel contents and i really really love it 🥺💕💕

I shall also feed you with a himmel content of my own as a thank you 😋 still working on it hehe