#i want to start doing music stuff again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

midnightclover · 4 months

Note

🌻

another thing...

i used to play trumpet and french horn. i wasnt half bad either! at trumpet at least. i started on french horn later so i was kinda way worse.

eventually though, band was so bad for me mentally that it kinda crushed all my passion for making music.. for a while at least. havent picked up an instrument since. though now thats mostly cus of how expensive they are lol

#i cant count the amount of panic attacks that one class gave me #im better now though #i want to start doing music stuff again #if you've got any recommendations for a daw hit me up!#ive mostly just messed around in orgmaker #which while fun is pretty limited and impractical too #huge pain to convert .org files into .mp3s #communication #how many years was it..? 4 years of playing trumpet i think #always wanted to play piano.. if i can find some class or something thatd be nice

2 notes · View notes

apocalypticdemon · 2 months

Text

I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.

#to be fair it's bc school starts again in a few weeks #but idk. every day at this office feels like sandpaper on my skin. people always ask me shit i dont understand #and every case is so individual there's no set checklist to follow to troubleshoot #so most of the time I just grind my gears and get stuck #it'd busy more days than not.#and it was advertised to me as data entry only. client interactions was not what i signed up for.#it's all client interaction.#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.#when we weren't short staffed i was the new guy and only got 1 day in the back a week while everyone else got 2.#all my coworkers are conservative but talk like they're apolitical.#i thought it'd be fulfilling bc im helping people get benefits #but many are rude or impatient as any other service job. I'm constantly trying to direct people that don't want to listen #or explain the intricacies of something i barely understand.#and i don't want to lead people astray bc you have to start over if you blow a deadline.#but there's just nothing redeeming that i enjoy.#i hate customer service. i hate constantly asking questions. i like seldom few of my coworkers.#i can't be me at work.#and i don't care about the work itself anymore.#this job made me cry every day for weeks last month from sheer stress and overstimulation.#i almost cried myself sick several times.#the only reason I'm not there anymore is bc i dont fucking care anymore.#it took me 2 months to burn out. 2 months!#i was training for half of that!!#idk. everyone decided i was smart and could pick it up quickly so. even though everyone else got 4-6 weeks of shadowing #you can make do with 3 before you start doing stuff solo.#which feels unfair. i wasn't ready for it. and i resent the decision quite a bit.#plus it's been a nightmare for me in terms of external stressors and my generally deteriorating mental health. so.#all in all. i hate it here.#and i can't wait to turn in my notice so i can gtfo in 2 weeks #i am so tired. free me. let me go back to my music please

7 notes · View notes

gayspock · 8 months

Text

i havent been to the gym since i moved out & i wanna get active again but fr -_- i feel like everything is too much faff, too expensive or something that will bore me to tearssssss

#egg.txt #i was like ok before i go sign up to a new place i'll do the chloe ting workouts just to get a routine back in #my god . i have never wanted to sob more from just being so understimulated in my life #but theyre all the SAAAAAME. IM GOING TOKILLMYSELFFFFF.#and the stupid music makes me want to put knives in my fucking ears #i'd gym again but i just couldnt keep waking up at 5am i wasnt getting sleep & half the time i wasnt even able to get a good work out in #like it would be 30mins max of actual exercise and then like #+ so much more time just getting there and it was wrecking everything else in my schedule #it sounds so dumb but even shit like having to drop my bagg off & pick it up every day meant i had to get later buses (& more)#and it would mean just losing hours in total at that point. for what. for a 30 min workout. when i wasnt making any progress with anyway bc #i was getting no sleep? 😭#i wanted ot try running outside again but ugh not to be a baby but people have been harassing me in the street so much more again and i jus #cant fucking do it broooo #and im too shy for most classes . the other stuff is crazy expensive . im going to start gnawing on something for real #i was thinking abt bouldering but it looks so crazy fucking expensive #its rlly a shame bc i did rlly start to get into running too. i could get a treadmill but idek where to put it rn and it feels crazy #to get one when i dont even have a couch... ehrm

8 notes · View notes

discoreptile · 2 months

Text

youtube

Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!

#soundtrack #music #indiegamedev #Youtube #beasties of greenhollow #indiegame #chiptune #elphame #hey again gang. Another scream into the void #Things have been getting more interesting tbh #I'm starting therapy again. I have learned from this that my anxiety is in the very very high end.#And I guess the only thing that surprises me about that is that it's an abnormally high amount vs the average.#I've had more intrusive thoughts this week than in a long time. (I almost said ever but that was 2021 where they woke me up...)#It's mostly about my mistakes and ppl I've scared out of being in my life because of the actions based on my anxieties.#Like “if i could go back in time I could fix it”... girl you'd be going back in time like 100 times. At that point it's not fair lmao #I think I shouldn't talk about who I'm dating here anymore. Friends told me to stop seeing so many new people and I took that advice.#I'm exercising incredibly frequently; obsessively so. It really doesn't change much in my anxiety. I walk for like 3 hours a day.#My friend group is... difficult. One of us had a falling out with another and the dynamic is just so awkward for me now.#it just seems like everyone else has moved past it though but I still miss him. I don't think this can be reversed #we used to talk on my stream and play digimon cards n jackbox and d&d... But now they're only interested in d&d which I don't love #For god's sake I've published a game and moved to a nice new place. why aren't I happy hahahaha #work is no longer enjoyable since BoG was publised. our new project is in an iffy category but it's not my place to argue #I want to write music and animate but I have to do my hours for this new project before I can do anything like that...#I ended up siding with my current boss in that ethical dilemma I posted about and rn idk if that was the right decision.#Okay what can i talk about that's good? We moved to a nice place. I'm celebrating BoG's release with family tomorrow.#Graeme's playing Iconoclasts- one of my favourite games! He's also returning to work soon so it'll be less awkward to have a lady over #Thinking about good stuff going on just draws the mind to holidays I've had before. I treasure my memories!#Okay so I've complained for a long long time bc life doesn't feel great rn. But rest assured I already know this is 90% my fault hahaha #Oh another good thing that happened!!! My elestrals card was printed and ppl are really happy with it. I have a card in a real card game!!!#don't tell anyone but there's another one on the way. Anyway that will do for now. I'm sorry about my... self.

3 notes · View notes

johndonneswife · 6 months

Note

Ms. Venus pleasssse share your impeccable taste in the form of pinterest boards with the class, thank you. Also I miss your presence on Tumblr and I selfishly wish you had plans to come back to the fandom side of things but I’m wishing you the best from afar!!

i would totally share my beautiful boards with u if not for the fact that i had a full blown meltdown on pinterest abt yuri on ice and i have soooo many freaking yoi pins lmao and iiiit’s a lil mortifying actually. but i promise my wedding & fashion moodboards are 🤌🏻

#ngl i feel very detached from louis right now #like. nothing happened. i just don’t feel much of anything lately #towards him/the fandom #i’m also at a point in my career where i’m honestly just so very busy all the time and between that & other life stuff #i just…don’t have it in me to care right now #i will always love him and his music but my bar for caring about celebrities is low atm too #plus i want to be more present in my own very short very precious very beautiful life #and i’ve put things aside / ignored things for the sake of fandom too much (like…my whole life. not just related to louis)#i don’t want to do that anymore / am trying my best to grow as a person and get out of my comfort zone so growth can actually happen etc #anyway all this to say i’m here sometimes but i’ve taken a big step back and im okay with that #i don’t have the emotional capacity to focus on much more than my own life right now. which is good! i think lol #alsoooo. i think if you have a platform of any kind and are not using it to talk about the horrors happening in palestine…#again my bar for Celebrity™️ is low and i’m starting to think #we need to start hunting the rich and famous for sport maybe #starting with elon musk #anyway. thank you for your nice words. i am keeping a low profile but i check tumblr at least once a day lol 🫡#🥰🥰🥰

2 notes · View notes

floral-hex · 7 months

Text

It’s hard to make music when you have no instruments or software or skills or talent and also you don’t actually know how to play anything or make music and you’re dumb as hell

#hey it’s about that time of year where I get the urge again to try and make music before getting frustrated and quitting #don’t let your inability to do anything right get in the way of messing everything up forever and ever amen #every time I sit down to try and set up software and whatnot I end up wasting half a dozen hours before giving up #repeat once or twice every year or so for the last decade #how did I used to do this junk??? whaaaaa? I don’t understand computers.#I have an ooooold laptop buried in a box someone with sooo many unfinished songs. albums and albums worth. mostly just missing vocals #I used to sit and work on music for hours and hours #pretty much the only productive thing I did my first year of college was make an album #and now I’m just like… I don’t understand how anything works. I’m so old.#but I guess it’s… ya know… it’s been awhile and you can’t just expect to jump back in with the same skill and comfort #you’ve got get all the tedious beginning stuff out of the way. that’s just how it goes. it builds and builds.#it’s the opposite of eating an elephant. it’s frankensteining and elephant. gotta do it piece by piece.#basically I got another hand me down laptop. clean slate freshly wiped.#then I spent about 5 hours just setting it up and thennnnnn getting a bad virus bc I’m stupid as hell and don’t want to pay for software #I lost my software installer I already had so I rushed to 🏴‍☠️ the first decent one I could find #and then when I got warnings I said ‘meh the antivirus is probably exaggerating’#ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? ARE YOU STUPID!? you trust the illegal file over your own antivirus!? whatttt!?#i am very stupid #at least the laptop is pretty much empty. just gonna do another clean wipe and start again. hopefully smarter.#I really want this. I hate HATE talking about things I want to do because I invariable always fuck it up #it’s so stupid and sad but if pressed I would easily say my old shitty music are the things I’m most proud of in my life. even if they suck #I stopped making music when I moved to NY to be with my ex and I haven’t been able to get back into it since #I don’t even like music. it’s stupid and I’m half deaf. fuck you I hate you.#okay I love you bye #you can ignore this #text

4 notes · View notes

eggmeralda · 10 months

Text

can never describe enough how excited I am for the inevitable 2010s revival of the future

(also this turned into a massive ramble accidentally?)

#like i know there are already kids being like ''i wish i was a teenager in 2014 😭'' but i mean like #you know how like the past 5 years have been so 80s inspired #and also 90s #and how the 90s were really into the 60s #and i cannot wait for all the awful aesthetics that were everywhere when i was 12 to come back #bc i'm curious how it'll look. bc obviously it won't be like. the 2010s are back #it'll be this romanticised idea of the 2010s and i wonder which parts will be rejected and which parts you'll see Everywhere #god i feel like there needs to be a new Thing that causes the need for nostalgia #e.g. in the 70s when punk and indie started as a response to the way music was getting so. idk. complicated or whatever #or like kind of inaccessible to do yourself. like dgmw prog rock slaps disco slaps etc. but not everyone could just. do that #and then punk happened and it was so simplified like no long guitar solos or whatever it was so stripped down. and same with indie #not to ramble about what was in my dissertation but early indie was SO 60s influenced it was unreal. and. it was the nostalgia.....#and then i guess with punk there was new wave and post punk and then new romantics and synthpop and things got synthier and then idk #the 80s were so electronic which. again it slaps. but then it got to a point that it was Too Much again that there needed to be a Return #to the past and stuff. so then grunge and britpop and other stuff happened #and idek it always seems to be there's a new music genre or new subculture that evolves over a few years into different things #before getting too much and the next generation wants to go back so they make a new genre. which then evolves and the cycle goes on #but (at least from what I've seen. which probably isn't a lot bc i live under a rock) there doesn't seem to be anything New lately?#everything's all revivals of older genres now. like i haven't seen any new equivalent to emo or britpop or punk or beat or rock n roll etc #like a thing that Changes the timeline. and i was reading this essay about the new beatles song saying how we don't need a new beatles song #even though the new song's still cool it was kind of saying like everything nowadays is recycled and nothing is shocking anymore #like nostalgia is so big now. with all the film remakes and stuff like that. there is nooTHING NEWLY NEW. IDEK. I am rambling so much #just thinking about many things. this was sparked bc i listened to twilight by cover drive and it literally transported me back to year 7 #and that led to early 10s nostalgia and by the time that comes back into fashion will the nostalgia problem be worse or will something have #happened within that time. like a new punk or something. tbf i guess a lot of what I'm talking about is to do with rock and i mean #there's rap and stuff which i don't listen to a lot of so idk maybe there's stuff going on there which i don't know about. but then #i want there to be something i Do know about. like something you can't escape. kids are all dressing like this and listening to this and #we WILL hear about it. new proper subculture that isn't just a week long tiktok trend. ykw i blame tiktok for all of this lol #but yeah. holy shit tag limit #ramble

5 notes · View notes

xcziel · 10 months

Text

wow they decided to copy yoongi almost exactly: concert lovefest for army and then dip

#when namjoon started getting all sentimental on sm and vmin got huggy again i kinda knew #i figured nj was waiting to go in at the same time as jk and jm (no brainer that they'd be going in together)#and thinking on it i can't see why tae would want to do this by himself either #logically if they go in together that's the least amount of time they're 'separated'#and also ups the possibility of them being able to support each other within their service #like if one is busy there's others on hand *and* the hyungs are still in place to start them off with advice etc #not to be too cunical but after the thing with jin i just feel like they can't be too safe or guard their backs too much #lol as soon as i saw the full shot of jk's place in the gcf i was like: well that means he's not gonna be there much longer #also jm dyeing his hair bc he's just gonna shave it all off anyway makes a kind of sense #but this ALSO means all the stuff they've been talking and hinting about is gonna come out WHILE they're in #bc hobi's stuff is already on deck and he has a plan for as soon as he's out and the maknaes won't want to trample #on the newly released from service hyungs' projects so the travel show rm and jm's music jk's korean song???#will all probably come next year and that after the fans have already had a docuseries christmas and new year #whew!#something about them sll going in together just hits me in the feels like ... just the closeness and protectiveness #and this way they can clock out of all the end of year ratings tallyings performances and comparisons!#bc they just deckared so they won't be going for a bit - they should have some time to settle things like yoongi did

4 notes · View notes

1980ssunflower · 1 year

Text

jesus

#tape entry circa 1980 #i havent full on sobbed like that in like forever #i decided i wanted to watch the twin tapes ep before bed because i hadnt heard my husbands voices in a while #and i was just pausing and rewinding things to admire certain frames and stuff #but i stopped it once at a closeup of mins hand #and i placed my hand over it fondly #but i just suddenly got really emotional and started sobbing #i guess i just really missed them a lot #not working on art of us or just anything related to us in general for a while is probably getting to me i guess #ive been trying to focus so much on my guitar cause of how badly i want to be able to do something w music for a living but #i think i need the balance of working on art #even if its just for them #i just miss them both so so much i really need to try to do stuff for them again...#i remember i dreamt recently that i need to work on my ryan screencaps i sketched ages ago for what happened before i went back home to min #hopefully ill get to that sometime soon

5 notes · View notes

forgetful-storyteller · 1 year

Text

Worst thing abt not playing sky is that I spent money on it. I did commissions to get items for it. If I'd spent all the money myself instead of taking commissions I'd probably have spent at least £80 on it

#sep talks #like I want to go back just to get my moneys worth u know #and also I miss it #obviously if I do start playing again I'll never spend another penny on anything sky related #but idk. I miss playing sky I miss the music and stuff. It doesn't hit the same when ur not in game #I feel like a massive hypocrite but. Well I doubt sky is going to get better #might as well make the most of it before it entirely crashes and burns

6 notes · View notes

vulpinesaint · 1 year

Text

nothing but thieves will always be My band by virtue of nobody else i know ever listening to them except through me. that's My band. My everything. anyway who wants to listen to me be soooo frowny face over their new album

#valentine notes #experiencing the 'fan of the older music' paradigm #the new stuff is good!! but it's not what i want or expect From Them y'know #dead club city might've been able to get me into them if i started listening to them now #but broken machine and their self titled album are both burned onto my heart #so instead i lay my head on my arms and go 'whyyyyyy is there so much synth :(((((('#again! good music!!! it's the kind of music that i like!!!!!#but i miss the guitars :((((#pop the balloon is the closest to what they usually do i think. makes me miss it even more #current favorites off the album are keeping you around and green eyes :: siena #anyway i'm hoping that this is just a little diversion for the concept album!! the video game song that they made recently or whatever #sounds normal for them. so probably not a permanent change for their sound.#but i didn't like moral panic that much either to be honest with you :\ not super hyped about the shift toward electronica/pop #is their music electronica OR pop now? absolutely not. but you know haha #anyway. wuv u nbt. dead club city will be my summer album #and in the meantime i'm getting cds of broken machine and nothing but thieves for my car

2 notes · View notes

eyivibyemi · 1 year

Text

✧ I won’t really write descriptions for these, but see original post tags for explanation/commentary on the song snippet ✧

#I actually like the background piano of this more than I like the weird singing improvised over it #probably just because it was vaguely cool to clank out something that even vaguely sounds like maybe an actual chord #that might exist or something despite - again- having so little clue about the piano or how to read music that I could #not even point out like what the names of the notes are or etc. ghghjbj #Which is still funny because if you improvise something and also have no idea how to read or identify musical notes then you will #never be able to play it again because you couldn't identify how to lol. THAT'S WHY I LIKE singing!!! I could hear any tune once and on the #spot repeat it back exactly as long as it's within the range of noises I am physically capable of producing #But with tangible insturments it's like... you have to memorize.. the names of things. or where to put your hands. or #be able to name and recognize something and keep that in your head. Whereas voice noises just come instinctually and naturally #I do think I could probably learn an instrument if I really tried but I guess the thing is just like.. I already have 4724867289 other hobb #es that I am trying to split my time between that I barely have enough energy to dedicate to all of them and hardly make #progress at any of them because I'm spread so thin jumping back and forth between them. should i REALLY pick up another???#one thats going to take years and years and lots of practice?? It's kind of like learning languages. I REALLY want to learn some other #languages and I'm not like terrible at it from times that I've started to beofre in school and stuff. but it's just like.. do I really have #the TIME?? I think I need a logical justification to warrant a certain level of investment like.. if I knew for certain that in a year I'd #be moving to france then of course I could dedicate many hours to learning french because now it's necessary and despite #all of my other projects that I have going on I need to make time for it. But if I'm just learning it for the sake of doing it? then??#why should I not simply dedicate that same amount of time to my writing or my sculptures or something else? etc?? Like if I for some reason #was talked into starting a band with one of my friends or something then yeah maybe I'd learn an instrument but. I just see no #practical need to or way to justify the time investment when I currently have so many other things going on and music is my silly hobby lol #ANYWAY.. all that to say. BECAUSE I have no clue what I'm doing and likely never will. then even when I do the most basic #boring sounding bit of barely passable zero skill hardly capable piano plonking or something I'm always like #wowww. wow. I did something. wow. music is so magical. peace and love on planet earth. hhbjhbjhb #ANYWAY.. so I like the background more than the singing but. eh. still sounds a little fantasy elf choir-esque #bantasy tag

2 notes · View notes

keeps-ache · 2 years

Text

i've had tiny pieces of dialogue following me around for most of the year, little bits i'd think about sometimes and turn in my hands thinking 'okay. this has somethin goin on with it. i dunno what but like. it does'. and then today i was in the car and suddenly they all just clicked together and waow. woah

#just me hi #it was a whole thing #like an entire villain monologue like where did That come from #also made me realize i was bi again but we don't need to talk about that khbdsd #and then you won't believe what happened!!#i FORGOT the whole thing!!! :DDDD [<- in pain]#all i know what that it had something to do with truth and fire and that's IT #that's ALL i've got #hhhhhhhhhh loll #//anyway in OTHER news #i am Struggling making stuff lol ;u;#i dunno whyyyyyy #like i WANT to make things and i have some vague ideas but then i sit down to scribble and then suddenly POOF #i don't like being so so so repetitive because it bothers me like an itch you can't reach so i refuse to just. do what my brain can do aahh #i say Can Do bc there are No other thoughts in here [collapses]#like uuuuuhgiuashkhdgk #YEAH i could work on my project but then i start Thinking about it and the. Black Magic get all up in the works uhhhghgh #POINT is. ... what was my point uhhhh #POINT is brain is being a funky little guy right now. just a really JAZZY tiny dude. giving me the blues out here uhg #anyway i'm listening to new music so i can't focus that well rn lol so if none of this makes sense or something then uhhhhhhhhh #just uhhhh imagine. imagine Rice. white rice brown rice yellow rice orange rice boom Rice #ok i go now- toodliesssss

7 notes · View notes

boar-cry · 1 year

Text

once i get the proper medication for my executive dysfunction im going to finally get so much stuff done just you wait

#seriously considering how to get adderall asap because im so tired of being paralyzed by my stupid brain half the time #i WANT to do stuff gdi!!!!!!! i want to do so much stuff!!!!!#i want to clean and write and draw and start trying to make music again and start my video essay ideas!!!!#i hate being like this!!!!!

2 notes · View notes

always-a-slut-4-ghouls · 2 years

Text

Podcasts are frustrating because I can’t listen unless I’m almost asleep or busy with my hands but whenever I try to think of something to do with my hands (other than art or maybe cleaning) it’s reading!!! Which does not go with podcasts! I can’t consume words x2 at the same time and I’m angry when I realize that 😠

#emma posts #adhd says you can’t listen to non music things unless you are doing something at the same time #how can we listen with EMPTY HANDS?!#books? go in hands. games? use hands. art? hands. but podcasts no hands!!!!!!#and yes this is frustrating me again because now I want to catch up on wtnv #and by catch up I mean re-start because I don’t remember where I was #unless Spotify remembers #it probably does but I sure don’t #I CANT HEAR WITH EMPTY HANDS UNLESS ITS TV WITH MOVING PICTURES #teachers who told me not to draw in class got exactly 0% info absorbsion from me as a kid #i guess I could start drawing again but it’s been awhile and I’m nervous #I can draw my regular stuff but new things #ugh #just holding a pen increases my attention immeasurably #I also need better meds #I do need to figure out my tablet I guess #one other option is pet cat which is my cats favorite #if multitasking was real I’d be able to consume even more media

4 notes · View notes

thetriangletattoo · 2 years

Text

what is it about showers and solving every problem you had during your teenage years

#i need to start showering with music otherwise my mind will just go 'hey remember this thing that happened ten years ago'#ahah wouldn't it be funny ahah solving it now??? ahah #like no??? leave me alone #I haven't talked to those people in years nor do i feel the need to talk to them again #in my defense i think the conversation i had with my friend the other day started this train of thoughts #this guy i used to know when i was 15 or smt back in my hometown opened this bar #and like if you're there and you want to go out somewhere you can only go to a bar bc there's nothing else #and i was telling my friend that that's the only new bar in town I haven't checked out yet and probably never will #bc shit went down with the group me and this guy were in back then #and I haven't talked to any of them since then #and honestly I'd like to go there and sit at a table and be like hi #but i also cannot remember in what terms we left things like how ugly it was #bc my brain does this funny thing where it erases stuff #survival instinct much?#love treating this blog like my personal diary #sorry i make you read my stupid tags #oversharing all the way #also that whole group? insane! i surely did something i shouldn't have done but it surely didn't start from me #I'm so glad adolescence is just a phase jfc

5 notes · View notes