#i want to write this so bad but writer's block is being a BITCH

[dead-girl-tells-stories]

Okay, so I'm always seeing Ghost Twins Danny and Elli or Danny and Dan. Which is nice. Classic even. But I propose..... Ghost Triplets *jazz hands*. Like, imagine the absolute chaos of the three of them being triplets.

Now put them in a crossover and chaos ensues. Any crossover would be fine but I'm more so thinking about DP x DC.

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

cat got your tongue - Cole Caufield

Word Count - 3k

Requested - Yes a mutual dared me weeks ago to write a entire fic only about Cole Caufield's tongue.

Author's Note - thank you as always for reading. 💞🫶🏻 This literally took me forever to write because writers block is very real even when you love an idea, also I got this request back in the middle of July before anyone wants to come into my asks. I'm not sure if I like this ending, but that might just be me being my biggest critic.

Warnings - oral receiving but I think that's kind of obvious given the title of this fic. 🤣

Summary - Cole finally convinces you to come to one of his games, but what happens when all you can focus on is the way he sticks his tongue out during a celly.

Tonight was the first time that Cole has finally convinced you to come to one of his games. To be fair you did just meet the guy a month ago in a bar. Unlike Cole, you did not know everything when it came to hockey which could have been one of the reasons that you weren’t pressed on going as soon as Cole brought up the idea. But his constant insisting that turned into begging which was kind of hot finally got you here. In the back of a shared Uber with your friend who actually knows hockey and said she would tag along to explain what the fuck everyone is doing on the ice. At the end of the day trying to learn all the rules of a sport you never even watched was hard. 

Just to mess with Cole a little, you did purchase one of his jerseys which granted a lot of money. But your friend who came along with you to the game, insisted to “do it for the plot.” So here you both are, you in his jersey, entering the arena. Due to the amount of time it took to get through security, you weren’t able to be in your seat until after warm ups had already started. Your seat was center ice but a few rows back purely because you told Cole if he thought your ass was sitting front row at your first ever NHL game, you would simply walk out because you didn’t wanna accidentally end up caught on TV looking like someone who had no idea what was happening around her. 

As soon as Cole saw you, he skated over to the bench although you couldn’t see what he was doing talking to one of the trainers you assumed. He then skated over and started bouncing what looked like the nearest puck on his stick as many times as he could and then passing it over the glass. A fan tried to take it, but he shook his head no and pointed at you. Then he threw another one over for the little boy who was a couple seats down from you, before skating off continuing on with warmups. 

“Why was that kind of hot?” you whispered to your friend. 

“Wow who knew a basic white boy would have you down this bad?” she teased.

“Bitch shut up.” you said before you finally looked down at the puck. Cole must have asked the trainer for a marker and signed the puck before coming over. 

You look hot with my name on you. Meet me in the tunnels after the game. 

Deciding not to tell your friend about the message you look up to see Cole sitting on the bench now making direct eye contact with you as he watches you read his message. Nodding your head yes and mouthing ‘okay’, even from the other side of the arena the smile that spreads across his face is seen clearly from your seat. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cole was literally playing like his life depended on it tonight. Now granted you might not understand all the little detailed rules when it comes to hockey. But you knew an assist was a good thing, in period one alone Cole had 2 assists and something about the way that he got one knee skating for a celly with his tongue slightly sticking out. Something that is so simple, made you feel your stomach drop, getting more and more turned the second time he did it. 

During intermission, you and your friend went to the bathroom and maybe it was the 3 beers you consumed but somehow you both started joking around about what your friend calls “your new fetish Cole’s tongue.” Jokingly you stuck your tongue out ever so slightly. Not realizing in that millisecond your friend took a mirror selfie, your side to the mirror the famous ‘22’ on display with Caulfeild, sticking your tongue out ever so slightly with your butt teasingly pushed up. Honestly, you kind of looked hot in the picture and made a mental note to ask your friend to send the picture to you later. 

As the first intermission was about to end you just made it back to your seat. Cole was able to pull off another assist during the second period. Your friend who has been a fan of the Hubs her entire life told you that you're never allowed to miss a game again because if this was how the rest of the season was gonna go they might make it to the playoffs. All you could do was chuckle at her superstitious behavior. But stopped when the fans around her were agreeing with her when she told them this was your first ever game, Cole invited you and this is how he was playing. 

“Oh my god please stop. I don’t want my life to end on twitter. Y/B/F/N.” you begged, taking your hand and covering her mouth. She drunkenly agreed to stop and both of you turned your attention back to the game. Even when he wasn’t on the ice, your eyes couldn’t leave Cole. Every once in a while he would catch you staring at him and making a teasing face back at you, pecking his lips, or sticking his tongue out extra far in order to get an air sip of his water. Every time he did all you could think about was his tongue wrapping around the clit or lapping your pussy like it was on display right now for thousands to see. Every time he was on the bench and went to lick his lips you found yourself squirming in your seat. All your friend could do was roll her eyes at your behavior. 

Somehow you made it to the third period, but that’s when Cole scored a goal. You swear it was just to tease you, he skated past your section sticking his tongue out and wiggling it. “Fuck” you mumble to yourself. 

“Y/N there are children around. Stop ya nasty!” your friend says as she can’t help the laugh that escapes her. Your mind couldn’t stop thinking about sitting on top of Cole’s face or him on his knees with one of your legs over his shoulders. As you rolled your hips against his tongue dragged. - 

Suddenly your brain was brought back to real time as the final buzzer went off. Everyone around you cheered as the HUBS won a shutout - which your friend just told you is what it’s called when the other team doesn’t score a single goal during a game. But to be perfectly honest you weren’t really paying attention to your friend explaining any more slang hockey terms, your eyes focused on Cole as he skated around the ice with his teammates celebrating. The crowd was going crazy as it was the only shutout in what seemed like a lifetime, you could feel the energy of the crowd as you felt your body slightly move with all the jumping fans around you. Cole finally looked over at you from center ice and smiled. He titled his head towards the tunnels slightly reminding you of the puck and the note written on it, you nodded your head yes as you felt your cheeks heat up slightly from anticipation. 

Slowly the crowd started leaving once the boys were leaving the ice, finally there was enough room for you and your friend to make your way to the steps. 

“Hey thanks for coming by the way.” as you stop at the top of the steps. 

“It was fun. Are you ready to go?” 

“Actually Cole told me to meet him in the tunnels after the game.” you admit a light blush still painting your cheeks. 

“ooo okay have fun girly. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t. Text me when you get back to his place.” As she wraps her arms around you to hug you goodbye quickly. 

A laugh escapes your lips at your friend's words. “What do you mean ‘his place'?” Making a quotation sign with your hand. 

“Well we both know you aren’t going home tonight. You know you'll be busy with him, I’ll just check your location.” 

Before you could open your mouth she turned around and was gone. All you could do is laugh as you stood there and watched her walk away. Quickly you turned around and started walking towards the other side of the arena where the tunnels were. Somehow managing to find your way around, you pulled your phone out to text Cole that you were waiting outside of the locker room for him after being stopped by security, but thankfully the pass Cole gave you just in case came in handy. Standing against the wall scrolling Twitter while you waited for Cole to be done. 

Somehow the fan girls work faster than you could have ever imagined because someone made a gif of Cole’s tongue sticking out as he skated against the glass during his celly earlier tonight. Watching the gif over and over your breath caught in your throat as all your thoughts form earlier tonight just wanting to want Cole sink to his knees in front of you and eat you out came flooding back. Imagining your hand in his hair helping his face grind against using his tongue for nothing else except your own pleasure. Your mind was wandering and you could feel yourself dripping at the thought of making Cole sink to his knees, you refusing to pull his hair at first as punishment for teasing you all night. 

Lost in your own thoughts you didn’t even hear Cole leaving the locker room or coming up to you. Cole knew you were lost in your own world and decided to scare you by running up to you from behind wrapping his arms around you and leaving a wet kiss on your cheek. All that could be heard in the mostly quiet hallway now since he was one of the last players out was his laugh as you squirmed in his arms. “Ew Cole let me down.” you shirked in a high pitch voice he laughed in response spinning you around one more time before setting you down. 

“So how did you like watching me play?” he asked, finally facing you, still trying to hold you as close as possible. 

“It was good. It was actually kind of hot watching you play.” you admit with a smirk on your lips. 

Cole gives you a puzzling look as he questions, “oh yeah?” in a teasing tone. 

All you do is flash him a cheeky grin as you admit, “yeah watching you do your little celly on the ice was so hot, but I just kept watching you stick your tongue out all night.” Leaning up to his ear despite no one being around you whispered, “all I could think about was getting you to sink to your knees so I could ride your face, one leg over your shoulder, my back against the wall and not let you touch yourself as punishment for teasing me all night. My hands in your hair pulling and tugging as much as I wanted. All while your tongue is busy, so you can’t even beg me to let you touch yourself to give your hard cock some relief.” 

As you lean back only far away enough to see his face, his mouth is ajar in shock at your words. It’s as if he’s processing your words and for the first time in his life he’s quiet for more than a minute, you decide to further tease him while he stands there frozen. “What’s the matter baby boy, cat got your tongue?” A smirk on your lips as you watch him blink, as if his brain has finally caught up to the world around him. 

“No, not yet.” His voice is an octave deeper than before filled with lust. Suddenly he’s pulling you down the hallway towards the parking garage. “But it will be.” 

But just as you were about to exit the stadium to enter the connected parking garage, Cole made a sharp left turn down a separate hallway. “Where are we going?” you ask. 

“Oh, we're making your words reality mamas.” As he opens a door and suddenly you find yourself in some type of equipment storage closet. In the corner is an extra medical bed, and there are sticks everywhere along another wall. But you don’t have too much time to examine the room before you feel Cole behind you after he locks the door. “ Kissing down your neck, blowing air into your ear and all you can do is compliment him by sighing at the feeling. 

Quickly you regain your composure and turn around in his arms, finding his lips and kissing him hard. Fighting for dominance, and smirking when you slip your tongue into his mouth, he moans as a response and you can feel your underwear being damp from the sound he makes. Pushing him off of yourself quickly. You take a step back, you're against the wall now as you unbuckle your jeans. He says to you “have I told you how pretty you look with my name on your back.” 

Holding your hand up against his chest to stop him from getting any closer to you.”naw ah ah. Let’s put that tongue to good use, less yapping yeah?” Even though you phrase it as a question, your tone is stern and demanding. Taking your left hand that wasn’t on Cole’s chest you move it to his shoulder slightly pushing him down so he’s on his knees. The way he glances up to you with his now darker blue eyes could have made you come right there. Trying to take a breath without showing him how much control he really does have over you at the moment. Pulling your jeans down the rest of the way and stepping out of them, slipping your shoes so you can slip your skinny jeans off the rest of the way. 

Looking down at Cole in a full suit, suddenly deciding he’s in too much clothing as he kisses your exposed thighs in front of you. “Take. Off. Your. jacket.” 

“Yes Momas.” he says, taking his suit jacket, refusing to lose eye contact with you. He tosses the jacket somewhere behind him joining your jeans. He sticks his tongue out to tease you more as you throw your right leg over his shoulder. 

“Don’t even think about teasing Cole.” you grunt. He moves your underwear to the side swiping up and down your cunt in quick motions. “You wanna be a good boy right?” you ask as you tug slightly on his hair. 

“Hmm.” he moans as a yes on your clit, closing your eyes at the taste. Taking your hands you tug hard on his hair. 

“No, gotta keep your eyes open. I wanna see you while I grind on your face.” As you start to lightly roll your hips, Cole’s hands find the flesh of your ass and back of your thighs. He pulls you closer and starts kneading the soft flesh looking directly up to you as he moves his tongue down to your hole. Pushing in and out teasingly as his nose bumps his nose against your clit. “Fuck Cole.” you moan as you push your shoulders against the door, throwing your head back, closing your eyes at the feeling. Your hands go under the jersey finding your boobs squeezing them through your bra trying to play with your nipples. And then you feel Cole move his head so slightly causing a new angle as you roll your hips against his face even harder. “Fuck right there baby. Don’t stop.” you whine. So much for being in control but right now you couldn’t give a fuck with how good Cole was making you feel. 

Cole goes back up with his tongue to do circles over your clit driving so crazy. You don’t even realize one of his hands leaves your ass and his fingers find your hole abusing it even more than his tongue was a minute ago. “Fuck Cole I’m close.” you warn and that’s all you have time to grunt out before your vision blurs and you feel your legs shake, if it hadn’t been for Cole holding you upright you would have fell. He continues to eat you lapping up all your juices until your legs stop shaking and your breathing isn’t so ragged. 

Gently he removes his face from your pussy, careful to keep a steady grip on your legs so you stay up right. He slowly makes his way up to you, pulling you into a kiss so you can taste yourself and all you can do is moan in response. “Usually it takes more than a guy eating you out to feel this tired but holy shit Cole.” you mumble leaning your head on his shoulder closing your thighs. 

“Come on, let's get you dressed.” he says, reaching down for your jeans that were thrown away earlier. 

“No.” you whine. “ I’m not leaving you with this.” As you gently take one of your hands to slightly cup his bulge in his suit pants. He hisses in response. “See your in pain.” you complain.

“I’ll be fine. You just said your tired baby.” he argues. Looking back over at the medical examination bed in the corner of the room you get an idea. Slowly taking one of his hands you turn and walk backwards towards the bed guiding Cole with you. Letting go of his hand, you slip your underwear off the rest of the way and throw in his direction. He catches it on reflex sucking in a breath as feel the medical table behind you. Slowly you climb on and scoot all the way back. 

“I’m not too tired for you. Take what you need. Be good for me, make me cum again baby boy.” you beg as you lay down and spread your legs for Cole to have a perfect few of your still dripping pussy from your first orgasim. 

“Fuck. how did I get so lucky to get you.” he mumbles to himself as you watch him undress and make his way over to you.

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

You hate each other, right? (Tierna Davidson x Reader)

This wasn't requested or something I actually planned to write, but writers block is a bitch. Titles are hard, this isn't edited and I don't think this is very good, but here it is. Hope you enjoy :)

I'm going to try work on my actual wips so we'll see how that goes.

Warnings: None that I can think of, but let me know if I need to add anything.

Words: 4k

Tierna and I had always had a strained relationship. By that I meant we absolutely hated each other for years. Honestly, seeing as many many years had passed, we could barely remember what had caused the problem in the first place. Something to do with an injury or something.

Everything between us had changed one day when our argument ended in making out instead of shouting like normal. It seemed that over the years the hatred had turned to romantic feelings on both sides. After the kiss, there was lots of awkwardness and avoiding each other until I finally just asked her out one day when we were alone in the elevator. We had decided to keep everything on the downlow as first so we could learn how to have a relationship that didn't involve fighting or hatred. It wasn't actually that difficult because I quickly became addicted to everything Tierna. If her clinginess was anything to go off, then it was safe to say that Tierna felt the same.  

To keep everyone from getting suspicious, the last couple of months we had kept our outside relationship the same. There were glares, not talking to each other, and scoffs when the other spoke. The mean comments we used to make had pretty much stopped now. I couldn't bring myself to say anything bad about her, not when I was falling for her faster than I could keep up. If anyone ever asked, I just couldn't be bothered with it anymore. 

We had just gotten back from training. Tierna and I were glaring at each other as always while Emily stood between us as a kind of buffer. Tierna and I were sharing a room like we had been for the most part of the year. It was the teams way of trying to get us to get along. Little did they know how well that actually worked.

The glares lasted until the door closed behind us, finally away from the prying eyes of our team mates. Tierna turned, soft smile replacing the scowl as she fell into my arms. My hand slipped under her shirt, nails scratching along her back as she sighed, kissing my neck softly. 

"You okay love?"

"Just tired and I missed you today."

"I was with you the whole day."

"Well yeah, but I couldn't touch you let alone look at you nicely. I was craving cuddles all day."

"I'm sorry, we have the rest of the evening to cuddle."

"We have team bonding tonight though." Tierna pouted, moving to find comfy clothes. I groaned at the lack of contact, moving to wrap my arms around her waist. She gently shrugged me off, moving away from me. It was a clear sign she was upset about something. I lay on the bed, allowing her space to change and decide if she wanted to come to me or not.

Tierna sat on the other bed for a few minutes scrolling through her phone before she sighed, throwing it back on the bed and walking over to me. I opened my arms, letting her lay on top of me, head resting against my neck. "I don't want to pretend to hate you anymore. It's exhausting, I hate that I can't even smile at you when we're around them, I can't run to you during games or hold your hand or be close to you like I need when I'm tired, nervous or down."

"Okay. Well, we can start being friends in front of them."

Tierna looked up at me, "Yeah?"

"If that's what you want. I'm sorry that we haven't been able to do any of that stuff. It's not that I don't want to, trust me I hate it as much as you do if not more. All I ever want to do is be with you, my favourite thing in this world is your cuddles. I would prefer to keep our relationship to ourselves for a bit longer though."

I had always preferred to keep my relationships more private, but it was also in part because we constantly got roomed together in attempt to make us get along. I wasn't ready to have that change yet. Not just because I liked sleeping in the same bed with my girlfriend, but also because I hated change. It wouldn't be a big deal if my roommate changed pretty much every camp, that didn't happen so I had gotten used to Tierna and our routine. I dreaded that changing.

"Thank you. I'll just be happy with a smile or maybe a hug every now and then. There's no pressure to tell them about us, whenever you're ready I'm ready. I know you're scared about your routine changing and we'll protect that for as long as we can. And if or when it does, I've got you. Always."

I brushed a piece of hair out of her face, soft smile making it's way onto my face. We hadn't said the three big words yet, but I had known for a while that I was in love with her. Everything with her was warm, comforting, safe. "I love you T."

A grin made it's way onto her face before she kissed me deeply, "I love you Y/n."

---

It had been two weeks since we had agreed to be more friendly. We had decided to slowly start being more friendly so it wouldn't be suspicious. At first it was just stopping the glares and actually saying a few words that weren't mean or snarky. Now we had decided smiles and maybe some proper conversations were the next step.

We were at breakfast, Tierna sat at the table across the room while I sat with Emily and Rose. I hated that she was sat away from me, but unfortunately it had always been that way. Tierna sent a small smile my way. I sent a small smile back managing to stop the grin trying to escape. Emily and Rose followed my eyeline, confusion covering their faces when they noticed it was Tierna I was smiling at. I just shrugged going back to eating my breakfast. 

My peace only last a few minutes until Emily spoke up, "So have you and T have worked things out? There seems to be less glares, more smiles."

"I guess so. We actually talked a couple of weeks ago and could barely remember why we didn't like each other. We're trying to be friends."

"Finally. Maybe we'll all be able to be in the same room peacefully."

Over the rest of camp, the smiles and conversation became more frequent. The confusion or shock that covered the teams face for the first week was hilarious. Thankfully, after the initial shock, they seemed to back off their nosiness a bit. They seemed to realise we were more friendly without their prying eyes. It was nice though, being able to actually look at Tierna or be around her even if I couldn't touch her much.

---

Camps had always been one of my favourite things. I loved being around the girls, just getting to train and mess around. This time though, I almost wanted to just leave. Since Tierna and I were becoming 'friends', we had finally been roomed with different people. We had only been at camp for two days and my nerves were through the roof. They had been since I arrived. It wasn't what I was used to and I wasn't entirely sure how to cope with it. My whole routine had been disrupted without warning. The team knew I didn't like change, but I guess no one really thought this was something that would affect me too bad.

Training had finished an hour ago, dinner and team bonding weren't for a few hours and I was stuck on my bed fidgeting with my fingers. Alyssa sat down next to me, nudging my shoulder gently, "Are you okay Y/n?" 

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay."

"I call bullshit."

A sigh slipped out as my head rest against her shoulder. I didn't have the energy to pretend to be okay, "I love you Lys, really I do, but I hate this."

"Hate what?"

"Not rooming with Tierna. I know I used to not like it and we only just recently became friends, but that's what I was used to. For months, we had our routine, it didn't change much if at all. Just a bit of extra talking. Even then I knew what to expect. Now, it's all changed without warning and I don't think I'm coping very well with it."

"So, it's not just because you don't get to share with your girlfriend anymore?"

My head flew up, every muscle in my body tensing, "What?"

"Relax, I'm the only one that knows. I saw you guys making out in a hidden corner of the stadium when I took a wrong turn. You two are obviously pretending you're not great friends and hiding it for a reason. I haven't and won't tell anyone."

"Thank you Lys. I wish this was just because of that, but it's not. I don't deal with change very well at all. I like my routine and now it's completely different. If we hadn't been forced to room together for months, no routine would be formed and it wouldn't be this bad."

"I'm sorry that you were forced into a routine then forced out of it. We can see how you go for a couple of days and if it's not getting better then we can talk to coach and see if we can switch."

I smiled, accepting the hug she offered. It wasn't Tierna, but it was a close second. "I'm not mad at the forced rooming. I mean, T and I wouldn't be together without it. This is one of the reasons we haven't told anyone, to try hold onto my routine."

Much to my confusion, there was a light knock at the door. As far as I knew, everyone was hanging out in their rooms before dinner. My head buried in my hands, really not up for visitors as Alyssa went to open the door. Arms wrapped around me, my head resting against a stomach before the unmistakable smell of Tierna filled my senses. "Before you ask, Alyssa messaged saying you could use me so here I am."

"Thank you Lys."

"Always. I'm going to go for a walk, see you at dinner."

Tierna guided me to lie on the bed, cuddled up against her. It was probably the first time since camp started that I fully relaxed. "Love you T."

"I love you. I know this is difficult, but at least with Alyssa knowing we have more of a chance to see each other."

---

"Are you okay Y/n?" Christen asked as her and Alex sat on either side of me. I knew the team were getting concerned at how withdrawn I was and I appreciated they cared. However, getting asked multiple times a day if I was okay, was getting on my nerves.

"I'm fine." I snapped, retying my boots for the fourth time. 

I knew I was being grumpy, but I couldn't help it. This whole routine change had messed with everything, especially my sleep. I was tired and stressed, trying to adjust and create a new routine. It wasn't working very well, but I was trying not to show it much. I didn't want to seem childish or be judged for my lack of adaptability. Tierna was trying her best to help, there wasn't much she could do beside comfort me. Alyssa had also been understanding, not taking my discomfort personally. There wasn't much she could do either though.

Alex and Christen gave me a look before pulling me away from everyone else, "Talk to us."

I sighed, burying my face in my hands, everything that had been happening spilling out. They let me talk, not saying anything until they were sure I was done. Christen rest her hand on my shoulder, squeezing slightly. "We get you're trying to tough it out, to adapt, but you could have told us before it got this bad. It's well known you don't do well with change and I guess we didn't think much of this since you had different room mates in the past. We'll talk to coach and see if you can change rooms assuming it's okay with Tierna and Rose."

"I'll be fine, I'll get over it."

"No, we need you to be at your best. So we'll talk to coach after practice."

"Thank you. Before you say it, I know I will need to get over it at some point. I won't always be able to have Tierna as a roommate. I'm working on it, my therapist is helping. I just think the lack of warning and no time to mentally prepare didn't help."

"We'll never tell you to get over it Y/n/n, but we are glad you're trying. We hate seeing you like this, we just want you to be okay."

Later that night when I finally made it back to my room after being dragged to hangout with Emily, I found Tierna lying on my bed, book in hand. I straddled her waist, kissing her forehead then nose and lips. "Well hello."

"Hi."

"Alyssa is rooming with Rose. I think you need an early night, you look exhausted."

"I think you're right. Sleep hasn't been easy the last few days."

---

Tierna: I'm thinking it's time for a date day. Sneak out with me? 

Y/n: Don't have to ask me twice. I'm going to head back to the room to change, meet me there?

Tierna: Perfect, can't wait x

After making the excuse of planning to spend the day relaxing in the room, I slipped out of the meal room to get changed and meet Tierna. It wasn't unusual for me to spend a day or two at camp alone to recharge so I knew it wouldn't cause any concern aside from a text or two. 

Soft lips landed against mine as soon as Tierna entered the room. "Hello to you too."

Tierna pecked my lips, "There was not enough of that this morning."

"Well if you had woken up when I tried then there would have been more kissing time."

"It's an off day, what's the point in waking up early?"

"Make out time."

"Whatever. I was thinking, we shower and make out more, then check out that book shop you were talking about. I didn't think about what else, but we can get lunch and there is a beach not far from here." 

My arms wrapped around her waist, kissing her forehead. There hadn't been a lot of time to ourselves so I was very excited to spend the day with her. "Sounds incredible. I'm sure we can find some lowkey stuff to do. Could you imagine the shit we would get if the team found out about this from social media?"

"Shit, I didn't even think about that. Sneaky date day it is!"

As per Tiernas plan she dragged me into the shower, spending more time with her lips attached to me than actual shower activities. Not that I was complaining in the slightest. Tierna and I spent a lot more time in the room than originally planned, it being almost lunch time when I finally dragged Tierna out of the hotel. 

We spent a while exploring the little book shop, taking our time looking at the different books and stealing kisses behind the book shelves. It was risky, we both knew it, but at the same time I was having too much fun with her to care. Though we weren't doing anything overly exciting, just getting to spend some alone time with the girl I loved was enough for it to be the most fun I had in a while. Spending time with the team was always fun, but it didn't compare to spending time with Tierna. 

After finally dragging ourselves away from the book shop, we got sushi deciding to eat in the park. Thankfully, there weren't that many people and we managed to find a relatively secluded area. 

At the start of the day, we had very much intended on actually doing things. However, we ended up spending quite a while lying on the grass at the park just talking. Since the start of our relationship, most of our time would be spent talking. At first it was getting to know each other properly, then it was just something we enjoyed. Tierna was one of the only people besides Emily that I could spend hours talking and not get bored. I never was much of a talker, but I actually looked forward to our talking time. Between games, training, meetings, and spending time with the team, we hadn't had a lot of time to just talk. Despite rooming together, by time we fell into bed, we were just ready to sleep. 

Eventually we dragged ourselves up, making our way slowly to the beach, stopping at a few shops along the way. We walked along the beach, finding a hidden away part near the end. Tierna settled between my legs, back against my front as I nuzzled my face into her neck, "You're beautiful T. I've never been more grateful for our meddling teammates. I love you."

"I love you. This is something I never saw happening, but I would never want anything else. And I would never admit to them how thankful I am for their part in this."

"Oh never in a million years will I admit that to them. Thank you for today T, it's probably one of the best days I've had in a while."

"Really? We pretty much talked all day which is not what I planned."

"My love, any day I spend with you is amazing. Maybe it wasn't what you planned, but I don't care T. I love just talking to you and with how little time we've had together lately today was amazing. I love you, I loved today so please stop feeling bad like I know you are."

Tierna turned to look at me, not saying anything for a second while her eyes roamed my face. Probably making sure I was telling the truth. She pecked my cheek before whispering, "How did I get so lucky with you?" 

"You didn't hit me when I kissed you that night."

"Didn't even cross my mind. I think by that point I was starting to realise that maybe I didn't hate you like I thought."

"Looking back you were blushing a lot around me then. No different to now I guess. You're just better at hiding it around the team."

My forehead was pushed back, Tierna pouting while I tried to stifle my laugh. She was adorable when she pouted. "Shut up asshole. Speaking of the team, we should probably head back soon." 

Unfortunately for us, a few of the girls were lingering in the lobby and not at dinner like we had anticipated. The thought to hide was quickly pushed away when they all turned to look at us. "Where have you two been? We came to get you for dinner, but obviously you weren't there."

I had checked social media a few times just to make sure there wasn't any thing about us since a few people had stopped us for pictures. Thankfully, nothing had been posted yet and if it was the pictures were all innocent so I knew it was safe to make up a little lie. "We just went for a walk."

Emily pulled me into a headlock, normally I could get out of her hold pretty easily, but I was tired and not really in the mood. "Where was my invite? You know you're bestfriend incase you've forgotten."

My eyes rolled automatically, finally managing to push her away, "Em, stop being dramatic. It was a very last minute thing, not some conspiracy to leave you out. You are and will always be my bestfriend."

"Yeah whatever. I don't think you two willingly spending time together without killing each other will ever get old."

"Maybe not, but your comments already are. Now isn't there dinner then team bonding?"

---

The game was almost over when Tierna ended up on the ground due to a miss timed tackle. She didn't get up straight away and I saw red. Before I even fully realised what was happening, my hands were on the chest of the player who took Tierna down, pushing her back multiple times. 

"Are you fucking stupid? You could hav-" 

Arms gripped mine, pulling me back and finally snapped me out it. "Y/n, Y/n stop."

My arms went up in surrender, walking back to Tierna before I could do something stupid again. I knew I had gotten a yellow card, but the only thing that mattered was Tierna. I wanted so badly to hold her hand to comfort her properly, but I knew I couldn't. Instead I squeezed her shoulder gently, relief washing through me when she finally got up. 

Everyone stared at us as Tierna and I walked into the locker room. I knew it was coming, I had just hoped it would be a few of the older ones and not everyone. Christen gave me a pointed look, Alyssa and Alex joining in.  "What the hell was that Y/n?"

I shrugged, avoiding eye contact. I wouldn't say I regretted it because I wasn't sure I did. Though, I had likely disappointed them, something I hated doing. "I lost my temper."

"You never lose your temper Y/n. You don't even lose your temper when I go down and I'm your best friend. Yet you lose your temper when someone you're barely friends with gets tackled." Emily stated, arms crossed. There was no way they would let this go, it was definitely out of character for me. I had always been a calm person, never violent or short tempered. The look Tierna gave me told me she was thinking the same. This was it.

My arm wrapped around Tierna's shoulder, pressing a light kiss to her temple, "Well, become my girlfriend and apparently I will."

"You're what!?! You're fucking with us."

Questions and statements were fired our way, everyone shocked and confused how we were dating given the way we acted. "Shut up." Once everyone was quiet, I spoke again, "Yes we are together. We have been for about 9 months. We kept our same dislike or barely friend act so we could keep it between us for a while. We needed to work out how we worked together after actually not liking each other for a long time. It was nice in our little bubble. And before you ask, no I wasn't not coping with the different room assignments because of it, my routine changed suddenly and my brain didn't like that. That should answer your questions, can I shower now?"

They looked at us in disbelief before I just walked away knowing we would be hit with more questions later. Tierna pecked my lips before going to her own shower, "That was hot. Don't make a habit of it though, you don't need to be getting in trouble. Also thank you for answering all those questions. I do not have the energy right now." 

Before Tierna could actually get into the shower, I grabbed her arm, pulling her back into me. Now that she had taken her shirt off, I finally had the chance to make sure she was truly okay. My hands ran along her sides and up her back before hugging her tightly, "I've never done anything like that before. I just, I saw you go down and I snapped. Seeing you hurt, well it worried me in a way I've never felt before. You sure you're okay?"

"This side of you is adorable. I've never seen you so worried before. I'm okay, I promise. There might be a bruise or two, but I'm okay."

"What can I say? I've never been in love like this before. I always worry about you T, but seeing you down is a whole different type of worry. I love you."

"And I love you."

[olderthannetfic]

Nearly 75% of fic on AO3 has less than 5 reader comments. Can we please acknowledge that lack of engagement in a positive fashion is the norm in fandom and that writers are expected to work for nothing in return yet readers are allowed to be entitled?

The source of my number

https://www.tumblr.com/transholmes/738776926733336576/and-even-those-numbers-on-the-lower-end-are

--

Hahahahaha.

Oh, anon.

Okay, first of all, I just posted a bunch of graphs showing exactly this, so not only am I well aware of it, but you also clearly don't read my tumblr much and are just here because some friend of yours is upset that I responded negatively to them about their dumb bookmarking opinions.

Second and more importantly...

No, no one is expected to do anything.

That's crazypants influencer talk where you think your hobbies are jobs that you have no choice about doing.

I suppose I do expect fans to have something at least marginally worthwhile to say—or else I'll block them for being whiny little bitches who make my day dumber as well as less amusing.

But mostly, what I expect is that people will do hobbies because they are fun. If I ever decide that writing fic is too boring, I will stop.

I write because it's fun.

I write original work for money too, and if you want to read that, you're going to have to pay Amazon your cold, hard cash. But I still do it because I enjoy the actual act of writing... at least a lot of the time.

What I see in the bookmark boo-hooing is a bunch of people who haven't noticed the last eighty thousand rounds of this same dumb wank and who not only expect to get the last word but expect that somehow I'm going to signal boost it on my tumblr as that... a tumblr known for contentious debates and nobody ever getting the last word till everyone's exhausted and never wants to hear about paper plates or beans again.

I also see that some of the thinnest-skinned people have fic patreons.

Now, I chose not to bring this up before because it sounds a bit below the belt in that "And thus you're morally impure and thus I can ignore your argument" way... But it's a consistent pattern in these conversations over time, and I do think it's relevant. The biggest sensitive babies are always the ones most afraid of bad reviews but also low engagement, and I think it's because they're caught in some half-pro, half-not limbo where they want the best of both worlds but keep getting the worst of both.

If you behave like a professional who is owed compensation, you can expect a more professional style of response to your work.

And what does the pro world look like? Radio silence. The occasional harsh review. Nobody caring why you wanted to write X or why you couldn't finish Y on time.

If you're here to socialize, you should look for a beta or a couple of good friends who like your blorbos and your style of fic, and then you can squee together about what you've written. It may not come in the form of visible AO3 comments. It may be in private chat.

In some cases, it may just be friends you can talk to about your writing but who aren't actually going to read it. I have plenty of friends who read different things than what I write.

That's what socializing and hobbies look like, dude.

It's fine to point out that many writers do get discouraged by low comment counts and then stop, so if I, as a reader in a fandom, want more, it behooves me to befriend writers and make them feel good.

But at the same time, writers get discouraged or move on to the next fandom all the time for all kinds of reasons. If the critical mass and the zeitgeist aren't there, then they aren't.

Do your hobbies for reasons internal to you.

If the main point is external validation, get into BDSM and find someone excited to indulge your praise kink. It will work a lot better than chasing fame via art.

[britcision]

Tbh the older I get the more annoying I find it when people writing fic pick a random character (usually other potential love interests that aren’t the main ship) to butcher their actual character and turn into The Bad Guy

Because y’know, if no one’s twirling their moustache and being clownishly evil, how will we possibly have any drama? 🙄

But I have this feeling I’m gonna be full zero tolerance about it in Dungeon Meshi, because… well, how do you miss the point of the story that badly??

It’s a 14 volume series, gonna be a 48 episode (ish) anime, with no bad guy

It’s explicitly stated, in series

Spoilers below

Thistle is not the bad guy

The winged lion is not the bad guy

The last 4 chapters of the manga are dedicated to driving that home, more than once. Even Kabru isn’t the bad guy, and that breaks my heart because his villain vibes are immaculate and his villain arc would clear my skin and water my crops

Even with a big Final Fight and pivotal showdown, Ryoko Kui still made sure to state that no one in the series is a villain

They’re all just people, with different motivations and different understandings of what’s going on, and that drives them to conflict even when everyone is trying to do the right thing

Even when everyone works with the best of intentions, just plain being different people creates plenty of drama and tension and conflict

So before you get lazy and pick a character from the hat to be your Obvious Bad Guy, maybe just. Try. And live up to the series examples? Let them at least have a personality beyond “Must Prevent Ship Getting Together”

And if you try and make it Lycion I’ll kick your ass in your dreams and give you writer’s block, he cured his dysphoria by becoming a literal werewolf and hasn’t given a fuck about anything since, and nor should he

Cithis is literally Right There let her be the evil scheming manipulative bitch she is in canon for no better reason than she fucking wants to she is a gift from Kui to the fandom she literally put Mithrun in a maid outfit Because She Could

She’s perfect fanfic villainess and she doesn’t need a motive beyond “looks like fun” because she’s deadass just Like That and I’m obsessed with her about it

(Although tbh any Kabru ship fic but Kabru is the Obvious Bad Guy just completely self sabotaging at every possible step and being his own worst enemy would kinda fuck)

[lizzaneia-elizalde]

First off, love your writing, IT MAKES ME FEEL THINGS😭😭 but…

Can we please get more of yandre emo boy Ashton I JUST READ IT AND IM DROOLING SCREAMING CRYING GIGGLING AMD KICKING MY FEET😭🧎‍♀️🤪🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

THANK YOU❤️❤️🤭🤭🤭

(If not that’s okay, ignore this bae🫶)

Yandere! Stereotypical! Emo and his beloved popular bitch

Ayo, thank you for the compliment! I'm glad my writings made you feel things (I don't know what though LMAO)

Actually, I'm not planning to follow up Ashton, but hey, at least it would break my writer's block (lol it's just laziness) so here ya go!

Sorry that it took days though 😔

FOR THIS ONE, I RECOMMEND READING THE FIC FIRST BEFORE THE DRABBLE (this one).

Read the yandere emo fic here!

💌Little Ashton was misunderstood a lot as a child. He never really liked the same things the other children liked, and he had this morbid curiosity with death and occult.

💌Of course, this undoubtedly scared his family, making him out to be some sort of psychopath.

💌This irked Ashton of course. He's just... That. He still loves his parents, and nothing would change that.

💌But the fact that they're so conservative that it's actually bringing Ashton down is what drove him over the edge to find a school far, far away from his family.

💌A small, quaint town, yet filled with teenagers. It was kind of a nightmare when Ashton found out, but he gritted his teeth and thought that maybe, with the current years, maybe they won't judge him. Maybe.

💌So, he indulged more in his Emo lifestyle. He religiously listened to green day, Panic! At the Disco, My Chemical Romance...

💌He even got into writing poems as a way to put out his feelings that he never got to tell other people.

💌 He's actually very sensitive with emotions and feelings. So technically, he should be a great friend candidate, right?

💌But once he got into the school year, that's when he knew, that his life would be living hell. Stereotypes left and right. Mean cheerleaders and jocks that ostracized his choice of clothing, snobby rich students that turn their noses on him just because he's not that rich, geeks and nerds that keeps getting in his way, thinking he's one of them.

💌"Fuck. Get me out of here. Nobody understands me."

💌He didn't realize himself, but he's also slowly being a stereotype. Always alone, writing poems, and being unnecessarily nihilistic.

💌Until of course, one day, you transfered. You, your pink rover, and your slutty little outfit.

💌God, just looking at you and your charming personality made Ashton hard fall for you.

💌He wants you. So bad.

💌So he dabbled back into the occults. He found an old book in an abandoned "witch's hut" that he went on a mad hunt for weeks. Apparently, the witch that lived there was a matchmaker witch, who gave love potions to those really desperate.

💌At first, Ashton didn't believe it. Especially that it involves sampaguita, a flower not native to his town. How did the witch even get the flowers?

💌But there he was, mixing and creating the potion under the moonlight and putting your hair and his in the pot. Creating a love potion that smelled like the sampaguitas he had to smuggle in.

💌He wrote you letters everyday, obsessing and hyper fixating on your allure and beauty. Confessing over and over again on paper that looks old and aged with writing that looks like it came from a fountain pen. With a spritz of the love potion, he would put it in your locker.

💌God, who knew that it would work?

💌Day by day, he watched you read the letters. At first, you were disgusted (much to his dismay) but slowly, you started to read the letters with a neutral face, then a smile, then with a squeal and then a desperate plea for him to come and fuck you already.

💌Maybe putting his... Semen on your love potion got you desperate for him carnally, rather than romantically.

💌But no fretting, he would just make you fall for him.

💌And as you moan and scream out his name as he pounds into your tight hole like the feral, fuck machine he is,

💌He was pleading to the moon to see his bleeding heart and bare soul to make you his.

💌And if the moon won't allow it,

💌Well, it's nothing more love potions won't do.

💌"my beloved, why don't you drink this sweet tea I made? Why is it pink and smells floral? It's a new tea from Japan. Sakura, from what I know. It's glowing? Nonsense, love. It's probably just the lighting."

💌"Now drink up, don't let a drop go to waste."

[vampiricgf]

being kind of a bitch but my personal writing peeve is the posts in various character tags that are just like one or two throwaway paragraphs of what reads as ai generated smut with a "can be for any character!" tacked on the end. like i understand wanting reach and a lot of eyes on your work but tbh I don't check peoples blogs that spam fandom tags with those I block them because they irritate me so bad and tbh it's kinda insulting. I spend sometimes weeks on something, sometimes people spend months or even years updating stories, and get like little to no attention yet some shit most likely puked up by chatgpt or yanked from a cai bot that yanked it from a different writer and lazily spam tagged can get upwards of 5k sometimes. lmao okay

[controversial-blorbo-bracket]

Controversial Character Tournament Round 2: Kromer from Limbus Company vs Anders from Dragon Age 2

(remember that these characters are fictional and your fellow tumblr users are real. please be normal in the notes, i will not hesitate to block if you harass people)

Propaganda under the cut:

Kromer:

HATE: - "Nasty, scrungly, murders people for having advanced prosthetics, but yet the fandom still loves her, I will never understand that"

Anders:

LOVE: - "So Anders blew up a chantry as a symbol of mage rights. He's wild. Completely feral. I love him so much. He's canonically Bipolar (like me) but it's written in the worst possible way. He is possessed by a demon, technically. He's so unhinged. So many people hate him. He is technically a terrorist. The later game literally changed it so even if you agreed with him, no you didn't" - "hes SOOOOOO." - "He has a controversy page on wikipedia (It is not about that time he blew up a church). He likes cats. He gives poor people free magic healthcare. There is so much discourse about him all the time. His writer hated him. He escaped a cult. He's canon bipolar AND bisexual. He's possessed by a spirit of Justice (who rocks so hard.) He hates the Catholic Church. He lives in a sewer. He's really mean and petty. He was put in solitary for a solid year. He's one of two openly queer (i.e. mentioning it outside player romance) companions (the other being Isabela Dragonage) in his main game. Anders isn't even his birthname, it's a nickname given because he didn't speak for months when he got taken to the Catholic cult prison at 12. He drank long-lasting poison to fight an evil corrupting force because he wanted to not be murdered or have all his emotions lobotomied from him by the Catholic church prison guards (This is almost completely unrelated to the possession.)" - "Anders! He's a medic for those too poor to afford healthcare! He loves cats! He has a cat named Ser Pounce-a-Lot because he's a perfect man. Anders absolutely says ACAB, except in DA2 it's ATAB: All Templars Are Bastards. He's canonically bi! He runs an underground railroad-type deal for mages to escape from abusive institutions! He blew up the in-universe Catholic church for opressing his people (mages)! Some say this makes him a terrorist. I say this makes him a babe ❤️❤️❤️ He is unreasonably mean to Fenris, but imo that's just Bad Writing we can handwave away ok? ok. cool." - "there is a controversy section on his wiki page bc his bisexual ass made the straight male gamers angry by flirting with their characters. ppl in the fandom have also been arguing nonstop for 12 years abt his actions at the end of da2. do u want to go to anders discourse? too bad we're going to anders discourse."

BOTH: - "I really liked Anders in Dragon Age Awakening, I thought he was fun and funny, but he's insufferable in da2 and his fans and apologists are so annoying. He's a terrible person in that game and they have to make stuff up and ignore all the awful stuff he says and does. He's so awful I always kill him at the end of the game because I hate what he became."

[bajibitch]

Their fans are writing fanfic of them, and killing you off.

Rindou, Ken, Souya, Kazutora, Haruchiyo, and Shuji

⚅ Rindou ⚅

“All that hate and you still don't got me!”

Rindou understands that fans will fantasize and get carried away, but certain lines shouldn’t be crossed. Even though their stories are fake, you’re very much real. He calls them out if it ends up on his dash because reading the graphic ways they kill you pisses him off. He’s blocking anyone that left a note and sharing it on other platforms so his followers can attack them.

⚄ Ken ⚄

“I hate it.”

Ken doesn’t read it but found out about the fanfic at an interview. They read an unsettling excerpt from an angsty piece with a gore trigger warning and he was appalled. If they knew Kenni’s background maybe they’d understand why he lost his temper, but the fans were outraged when he decided to take a break from music. It got bad to the point where he didn’t get on social media unless he was promoting a project.

⚃ Souya ⚃

“If you replaced my partner with a random oc, I’d love it.”

Souya loves dark themes and doesn’t care what people write, but that’s him. Unless you tell him that you don’t mind their twisted stories, he’s gonna comment that you aren’t okay with it. It’s only bad when the fans fight against it and keep trying to justify writing you in those fucked up situations. He retaliates with his own stories of him killing them off to be closer to you. The stories are horrific and downright evil, they hate it. His more tame fans find it hilarious since he’s showing them how it feels.

⚂ Kazutora ⚂

“You guys need to look at this from my perspective.”

Kazutora isn’t good with his words when he sees the story. The only words that come to mind are: die, kill yourself, stupid bitch, and more vicious thoughts. He’s tried being nice and they kept arguing against him and using the same old argument. It looks like Tori’s spiraling with each comment and part of his fanbase joins in. Soon the fanfic writers are being attacked for even mentioning you.

⚁ Haruchiyo ⚁

“I wish I knew where you guys lived a few years ago.”

Haruchiyo doesn’t waste his time arguing. There’s no point. It’s the internet and people are heartless since they’re safe behind the screen. He wants to go back to the unhinged killer he use to be, but he knows he can’t protect you if he’s gone. Haru no longer does meet and greets, and he gets an attitude whenever someone asks about the situation that leads to his decision. The fans that aren’t part of the fanfic community pick on the ones who are, since he stopped sharing updates of his personal life.

⚀ Shuji ⚀

“They’d never do that.”

Shuji will comment on how you’d do the opposite of what they wrote. The public doesn’t know your name and the paparazzi hasn’t caught a photo that shows enough of your face, so he isn’t worried. They’re making up a new character to shit on. His only ick would be them taking your moments, like your anniversary trip to France, and recreating it with themselves.

[thecapricunt1616]

Hi hey hello :) putting the cunt in my user today - the bear fandom rant below

Let me get my notecard.

OKAY SO. There is some fucking bitch going around on anon in TB fandom,

@/anon Here you are scaredy ass bitch ! Have you in 4K📸 I know you reading this 👋

This isn’t the only time. This scaredy ass anon bitch has telling multiple of some of the BIGGEST writers in TBF that they are “copying eachother” to likely just start drama, there is a very slim chance this person is not just a little bitch who doesn’t have the balls to put out their own fics - and is trying to stir the pot on this corner of the internet because they mad they aren’t sitting with the fucking ‘cool kids of the bear Carmy Berzatto fan fiction’ club’ via tumblr - LIKE😭🤣

that is genuinely how pathetic this person is we are literally in a tiny niche fandom and this fuckin JAGOFF. THATS RIGHT. BITCH. YOURE A JAGOFF ANON. COME OFF ANON AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN.

this jagoff is just trying to fucking ruin people’s days- KIDS at that yes legal adults but it’s really really funny how it’s rare for these 19 and 18 year olds you’re attacking JAGOFF are the only ones on this corner of the internet- most of us are 4-5 years older then that if not OLDER. You come for them bc you know they are dealing with shit TEENS FUCKING DEAL WITH so attack them to make them feel more fucking insecure then teenagers already are FUCK YOU someone should fucking spit on you bullying TEENS. You fucking loser.

But let me end my rant with a few last things

Firstly the only rule of fucking requesting from me or my moots for this matter because I don’t want them being accused of fucking COPYING people - is that you do not go asking someone else the same shit. Tweak it. But if you want to ask 10 people the exact same prompt? Leave me out of it because that’s not the kind of work I want to put out.

Second to the anon mentioned, you know exactly who the fuck you are going around calling people bitches in their ask box - if you don’t wanna face me fucking block me. I swear to god babe you don’t want to cross my path. One thing Carmen and I have in common is if I eeever find out who you are (I have eyes and ears everywhere in this fandom! Keep what you’re doing a secret for your own sake) because if I find out lmaooooo babe please. Please come off anon. I will give you a new insecurity that will be with you into your grave.

And third and fucking finally. Can we live? Can we FUCKING LIVVEEEE?! Clap if we should be able to live

Like really and genuinely. This is FAN FUCKING FICTION. unless someone is like quite actually fucking copy pasting word for god damn word OR the authors are openly saying that a specific persons work seems to be a copy of theirs and it bothers them- shut up? Why are you going around and defending people over such stupid shit. We come to tumblr to have fun and get away and write slutty fiction about a fucking Italian chef with anger issues what do you get out of bothering people here. Is your day THAT bad?!

Anyways. CapriCUNT out.

[olderthannetfic]

When m/m writers say "women DNI / don't read" on a platform like here or AO3 that's majority female, what's the thinking behind this? Are they insecure in their masculinity and trying to preemptively block fujo cooties from getting on their fiction? Are they trying to meet people for RP or dating through engagement with their fics? That I can maybe understand. But if it's the former, there's a culture mismatch. "Women DNI" writers mostly aren't writing stuff that's popular on Space Battles, Sufficient Velocity, Royal Road or even ff.net, which gets more of the "malebrained" (sorry) game nerd stuff with sexless shonen-like characters levelling up or solving problems with "hard magic." Those spaces also have a concrit culture where you can be a little mean and mocking, and the "women DNIs" only want praise and clout. It always makes me think of Married with Children and Al Bundy's NO MA'AM (National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood) club.

Anyway, it's extra odd when I see this kind of clout goblinry in a market context where most of the sales are to women. I've seen gay dudes (cis and trans) lightly threaten that a big conversation about what gets popular in paying m/m space was coming soon (spoiler: it never came). And it's always someone who doesn't have the kind of career they want despite doing lots of marketing. I think it's OK to vent, but the gay men who are doing numbers in m/m space don't threaten women's careers or disparage their own readership.

--

Are they insecure in their masculinity and trying to preemptively block fujo cooties from getting on their fiction?

Yes.

No, really. That's it.

Ask any trans man who's been on T for a few years and has supportive friends and family what he thinks about this dumb behavior vs. a scared trans boy who just figured it out in his own head and whose entire experience of living openly as a man is being rude to strangers on twitter.

The pro version is just professional jealousy.

If Jordan L. Hawk can come out and stay at the top of the heap (despite, sorry not sorry, a bit of a career slump lately due to Life), so can other trans dudes, and there are plenty of cis dudes who write in a BLy style and sell just fine to BL/slash fandom type readers.

Dudes who are secure don't need to pull this shit, and good marketers know not to insult their paying customers in public because it's bad for business.

TBH, when I find out a m/m author is a guy, I'll usually try one of his books. I don't think fujoshi culture is ~appropriation~, but i guess I do think it's nice to give a guy a shot. I have pretty universally been underwhelmed (in the Sturgeon's Law way, not the men can't write way). But I doubt I'm alone in this behavior. A dude who's not a whiny little bitch about having a chick audience can use this to his marketing advantage. Instead, a lot of losers want to shoot themselves in the foot.

[phoenixwrites]

How do you keep yourself from feeling down about your haters/anti your ships?

There’s these (literally) 5 girls who think they’re the queens of my current small fandom and their hate is starting to get to me even though I try to let it roll off my back.

How do you do it, Phoenix?🥺 How do you keep the Plastics from ruining your fandoms and ships?

Oh goodness, Sass, I'm so sorry. I've been in my fair share of fandom dramas (the worst being last summer) and it's never an easy thing to deal with.

I want to gently correct you, though. The hate DOES get to me. Last summer, there were anons in my inbox telling me I deserved to be sexually assaulted as a child because I support dark fic writers. There were anons calling me a pedophile. There is a 600 note reblog going around the Stranger Things fandom claiming I was a pedophile. I was suicidal at that point, because it was triggering as hell.

But at the same time, I refused to give up MY tumblr space because of bullies. This is my blog. I've had it since 2011, it has been a space of freeverse, of gossip, of art, and of joy. I will not change that for the satisfaction of a few teenagers who think TikTok is activism.

I got through it a few ways.

Turn off anons. I am a stubborn bitch and I only turned my anon off once during that period, right after someone told me I deserved being assaulted at seven years old. I turned it off for one night then turned it right back on, because I hated limiting access to my lovely anons because of bullies--same reason I haven't privatized my AO3 account, even though AI very likely will steal my work. I hate the thought of some anon who reads my fics for comfort being denied access to them. But that's my thing. Turning off anon is the best way to shut off their power to hurt you. If you don't want to turn off anon, delete their messages. I am CHOOSY about which anons I answer. They are reaching out to me, on MY blog, it's my decision whether I deign to answer them or not. If I'm in the right mood for it, I might be trolly and snarky. If they're sweet, I love to hear from them. But I delete just as many as I answer.

Get off the internet. The internet is my space where I can zone out and do whatever I want. Sometimes that means watching a carefully curated selection of TV shows while writing fanfic. Sometimes it means doing TV show meta. Sometimes it's just goofing off. But the internet is chocolate, it's a lovely sweet treat. But if you have nothing but chocolate, you will get sick. Take walks. Go outside. Forget online drama (it's never that serious), enjoy your offline friends, snuggle your furry friends, go out for a cup of coffee and read a book.

Curate your experience. If you see someone with an absolutely RANCID take--like how Eddie wasn't flirting outrageously with Chrissy (sure jan) or Neal was a rapist, whatever. Don't engage, don't comment, don't reblog. BLOCK THOSE BITCHES. Block the people who make you feel weird. Block someone who used to be in your fandom but has moved onto reblogging something that annoys you. Block, block, block. Or use tumblr savior assiduously. When it was really bad in Hellcheer land, I watched Smallville and blogged about it until I felt ready to play in Hellcheer again.

At the end of last summer, the hate started dying off for a couple of reasons.

One, school was starting (yes, I do believe the majority of these bitchy anons are bored children, they ALWAYS have an uptick during school breaks).

Two, I got a book deal. I was too thrilled with my success and though they tried to threaten me, it didn't have much of a sting. My publisher and agent don't give a shit about the latest fandom drama. My editor LOVES horror and darklit.

Three, I fell in love. I have an incredibly wonderful partner who is a writer too (for television! I used to write fanfic for a show he worked on! :D). Autumn was an incredibly wonderful season of joy for me (minus my then-work troubles) which bled into a romantic winter, a challenging spring, and now it's becoming a lovely summer.

I had a bunch of lovely things happen to me that made me realize that the internet is actually quite small. It doesn't matter if STEDDIELOVER69 hates me or believes I'm a pedophile. What matters is that there are plenty of other folks who love reading my work, who like hearing my thoughts, who enjoy my VQ gossip, and those are the people I want to engage with.

Those folks don't know you and the joy you experience every day. Keep that joy close to your heart, as closely as they keep their own bitterness and cruelty.

You'll be all right, love. I promise it gets better.

[youngpettyqueen]

for prompts, might I suggest a number 14 with Julian takin care of Kira, and a ‘it feels worse than it looks—no wait-‘ with Julian being a bad patient?

oh my god I finally fucking finished it.

I am SO SORRY this took so long I got hit with. the most violent writer's block ive had in a HOT minute and this had me fighting for my life. I dont even know how many times I wrote and rewrote this. I went through so many different ideas it was actually ridiculous. at one point I had something finished but it Was Not Good and I dont believe in posting writing I dont like so I scrapped it and started again

I keep waffling on whether or not I like this, but thats entirely because ive spent way too long staring at it. im sure in a few days ill actually really like it, cause I really like the dialogue, which was what I wrote out first. pulling myself out of my perfectionism, I do think I like this, and at the very least im proud of getting it down when it gave me so much trouble

again, im so sorry it took so long, but writer's block is a bitch and ive had a lot going on lately, so I hope you understand <3

for the readers- 14 on the list is "Stop pretending that any of this is ok. It's not." I did adjust that one a bit cause I was having trouble making it flow. but, without further ado, here's what I've got! 

Kira slides down with her back against the wall, grinding her teeth as she clutches at her wounded shoulder. The pain is still hot, the hole burned into her skin practically still smoking. She hisses as her palm makes contact with the sticky, raw flesh, but she still clamps down. 

“Anytime you wanna get over here, Julian!” She calls, her voice strained. 

“Doing my best, Major!” Julian calls from where he is, hunkered down behind some debris as a makeshift shield against the barrage of disruptor fire. 

This is, in eloquent terms, a right fucking mess. Getting into a fight with a bunch of Jem’Hadar soldiers is never a good thing, even when they’re prepared. When they’re not prepared, it’s even worse. And this time, they weren’t prepared. Because there weren’t supposed to be any Jem’Hadar on this planet. This was supposed to be a quick pit stop for the Defiant, replacing some whatsit that O’Brien said was damaged in their last firefight, but then there were Jem’Hadar soldiers and they’ve managed to land themselves in a whole different firefight. 

It really just hasn’t been a great week. 

Kira inches closer to the wall’s edge. Her grip on her phaser isn’t stable, but it’ll have to do. She takes a deep, steadying breath, and then she twists over so that she’s peering out from behind the corner. She spots the Jem’Hadar pinning them down, quick count tells here there’s 3 of them, and she snaps her phaser up to hit them with some fire of her own. The motion pulls at her injured shoulder in a way that makes her want to scream, but she bites down on it. 

Julian, bless him, takes the opportunity to lunge out from behind the debris. He scrambles across the gap, barely dodging the returning fire from the Jem’Hadar, and manages to throw himself down behind the security of the wall. He plasters himself up against the wall beside Kira, right as she ducks back behind cover as the Jem’Hadar’s fire intensifies. 

Kira looks at him. He looks at her. He’s breathing hard and heavy, his hair a mess and dirt and blood staining his face. She musters up a grin to tell him, “You’re late.”

Julian gives her a flat look as he turns to her. “Forgive me, it’s a bit difficult to make house calls in the middle of a battlefield,” He replies, sounding very, very tired. But then his eyes flick to her bloody hand, still clamped over her wounded shoulder, and she watches his expression shift as he clicks back into what’s affectionately referred to as doctor mode, “Let’s see that shoulder, then.” 

Kira moves her hand, letting Julian get a look at the wound. She winces as he pulls aside the burnt fabric, taking a deep breath in through her nose and resisting the reflex to jerk away. “How’s it look?” She asks, mostly just to distract herself. 

“Like it needs more than what I’ve got,” Julian replies, frowning, “The dermal regenerator I have will do for now, but this is deep. I’ll need to immobilize your arm,” He tells her, giving her an apologetic look, “If you move it too much, you’ll risk tearing it open again.”

“Just do what you have to,” Kira tells him, “Won’t be the first time I’ve had to shoot myself out with only one arm.” 

Julian nods, and returns his attention to her wound. “Right,” He pulls his kit up and rifles through it for a second. The first thing he pulls out is a hypospray, which he quickly sticks into her neck. Kira relaxes fractionally as the painkillers immediately start to work, dulling some of the burning in her shoulder. Then he’s pulling out the dermal regenerator, and bracing his hand against her shoulder again, “Try to hold still.” He advises.

Kira just gives a tight nod, already gritting her teeth and bracing herself. She feels the dermal regenerator start to work. The hypo helps, but it doesn’t take away that burning, itchy sort of feeling of muscle and nerves and skin stitching itself back together inch by inch. She clenches her fists tight, breathing hard through her nose as Julian works. 

“Sorry, I know this stings,” Julian says, “I’m doing the best I can. This regenerator wasn’t meant for a wound like this.” 

Kira grunts a wordless acknowledgement. If she says anything, it’s just going to be a string of curses. Instead, she focuses on keeping her ear on the sound of disruptor fire, making sure it isn’t getting closer. If the Jem’Hadar decide to come after them, she wants to be ready. 

“Done,” Julian pipes up. She looks over as he puts the regenerator back in his kit, taking the worst of the pain with it and leaving her with a dull ache, “That’s the hard part done. I’m going to move your arm now,” His hands are gentle, taking her arm and carefully easing it away from her side, “There we go. Alright, hold it there, please.” 

Kira does. Julian sits back, and unzips his jacket to get at his undershirt. “This will have to do,” He tells her, tearing a couple of strips from his undershirt, “These won’t be the most comfortable, but they’ll have to do. I’m out of bandages.” He leans back in, starting to bind her arm with the torn fabric.

“Sorry about your shirt.” She cracks weakly.

“I’ll get a new one.” He replies, without so much as a smile.

She hates how flat his voice is. Hates how… unlike him, it is. Quiet, with no bite. “C’mon, Julian, where’s that boyish optimism of yours?” She asks, “I could really use a hit of it right about now.”

Julian secures the bandage around her arm. “I must’ve dropped it when they started shooting at us,” He says, not meeting her eyes, “Do me a favour, Major. Don’t pretend any of this is ok,” He sits back again, still not meeting her eyes, all caught up in taking in his work, “Cause it’s really not.” He does look her in the eye, then. And he looks so… tired.

But then, he’s looked like that for a while, hasn’t he?

Kira gives him a smile. A sad, quiet little smile. “I never said any of this was ok,” She corrects, “I’m just… used to it, at this point.” Very, very used to it. Used to it in a way she hopes he never is. 

Julian considers that for a moment. His expression is hard to read- sad, maybe. Sympathetic. Then he sighs, and breaks eye contact. “Well, I suppose I’m getting used to it, too,” He scrubs a bloody hand through his hair, “We should get going. Can you walk?” He asks.

No time for sentiment, then. Kira nods. “It’s just the arm,” She assures him, “I can do a hell of a lot more than walk.”

“Good,” Julian starts to push himself up to stand, “Let’s-“ He doesn’t get far. He wobbles suddenly, his eyes widening slightly as he nearly topples right over. He barely manages to catch himself, bracing a hand against the wall before he can fall against it.

Kira quickly reaches out to steady him. “Julian?” She sits up, frowning, “What’s wrong?”

Julian frowns, confused. “I… don’t know,” He says, looking down, “I can’t feel my-“ He cuts off, suddenly, his eyes fixing on something, “Ah.”

Kira’s brow furrows. “Ah? What’s-“ She follows his gaze, and comes to the same abrupt halt as she sees just what he’s found, “Ah.” 

Julian has a substantial wound in his thigh. A chunk of his pant leg has been burned away, revealing a raw, painful-looking burn that’s steadily oozing blood down his leg. Kira’s eyes widen at the sight of it. That doesn’t look good. That really doesn’t look good.

“Well,” Julian says, “That’s not ideal.” And then he sways alarmingly, nearly crumpling right to the ground.

“Julian!” Kira lurches forward, manages to catch him by the arms. He grimaces as he eases himself down, taking his weight off his injured leg, “Damnit, Julian, what were you thinking ignoring this? Gimme that tricorder-“ She reaches for his medkit, not waiting for him as she rummages through it herself.

“I wasn’t ignoring it!” He exclaims, “I couldn’t feel it! Honest!” 

Kira finds the tricorder and pulls it out. “Don’t tell me they augmented the ability to feel pain out of you,” He shifts again, adjusting his position to give her a better angle to scan him, and it draws a painful hiss out of him, “Guess not.” She hums.

Julian manages a weak chuckle, the first one she’s gotten out of him all day. “Not as such,” He confirms, “I’ve just been- gah!” He grinds his molars as she pulls the burnt fabric away from the wound, “Preoccupied.” He growls.

Kira huffs softly as she reads the results on the tricorder. It’s not a fun wound. “So busy trying not to get shot that you didn’t realize you got shot?” She asks, arching a brow at him, “I’m almost impressed.”

“Only almost?” Julian asks, all mock indignation, “I’d hate to see what I’d have to do to actually impress you,” He mutters. His eyes drift down, then back up at her. He looks worried, “How bad is it?”

Kira puts the tricorder down. “How bad does it feel?” She dodges. 

“Pfft, this little thing?” He scoffs, gives a weak little wave that’s probably went to ‘wave off’ the pain, “It’s nothing. Just a scratch. It feels worse than it… no. No, wait, that’s not right,” He blinks, and she can almost see the gears in his head turning as he tries to figure out the order of the words, “I don’t mean to alarm you, Major, but I think the shock might be setting in.” He tells her.

Kira can’t help but roll her eyes. “No kidding,” She says, “This isn’t my first time, Julian. Hand me the regenerator, I’ll do what I can with it.” She holds her hand out expectantly.

Julian hands it over. “Now who’s being serious?” He asks.

Kira adjusts how she’s holding him, making sure she’s holding the burnt edges of his uniform away from his skin so that she doesn’t accidentally fuse any fabric to him. “Oh, so you can make jokes,” She takes the dermal regenerator and adjusts her hold on it, making sure it won’t slide out of her hand, which is slick with blood, “I thought you dropped that along with your optimism.” She gets the regenerator going, doing what she can with the wound.

Julian chuckles again, grins at her. “I told you, the shock’s setting in,” He replies, all charm, “I’ll say anything just to say anything. Apologies, but I’m going to be talking your ear off until we get out of here.” He warns.

Kira keeps her eyes on her work, keeps her hand braced on his thigh to hold him still. “As opposed to when you don’t talk my ear off.” She counters. After a few seconds, she can see that the burn’s healed as much as it’s going to. She switches the regenerator off and hands it back to him.

“Rude,” Julian huffs, taking the regenerator and putting it back in his medkit, “How’d the regenerator do? I don’t want to look.” He’s looking even as he says it, like he can’t help himself. 

“It’ll hold,” She tells him, not seeing any point in sugar-coating it. He would see right through her in a second, “For now. I’m gonna bandage it, just in case,” She adds. Now it’s her turn to get at her undershirt, tear it up for strips of fabric, “I liked this shirt, you know.” She informs him as she does.

“I suppose we’re even, then,” Julian cracks weakly, “Have I ever told you you’d make a great medic?” He asks.

There’s the Julian she knows. “Flattery will get you nowhere,” She tells him. Satisfied with her bandages, she gets them ready, “I do have one question for you, Doctor.” 

Julian frowns, confused. Yeah, the shock really has set in if he can’t see what she’s doing. “Go ahead.” He invites.

Kira starts wrapping his leg. “What are your plans for the rest of the day?” She asks.

He looks even more confused. “What are my-“ She yanks the bandages tight before he can finish, and he cuts off with a pitched yelp, “Fuck!”

Maybe it’s a bit mean to chuckle, but Kira can’t help it. She doesn’t often get to hear him curse. “Oh, language,” She tuts as she finishes tying the bandages off, “There. Nice and tight. That oughta hold you together till we get out of here.” She gives his knee a pat. 

Julian pouts at her. “You enjoyed that.” He accuses. 

“I did no such thing,” Kira replies smoothly as she pulls his medkit closer to her and starts rifling through it, not bothering to ask him, “Want a hypo?” She offers.

“No,” Julian shakes his head, making her stop short and give him an incredulous look, “I’ve only got the one left. Save it for someone who needs it.” He reasons. 

Her look quickly flattens. “Don’t start with the heroics, Julian,” She advises, “You’re not gonna be treating any patients until after you’ve been treated. On the Defiant.” She doubts he can even stand on his own, let alone treat people.

“I can hold out till then,” He insists, “Someone else might-“

“Julian,” Kira cuts in, not giving him any room to argue, “Take the fucking hypo.” 

Julian’s brows shoot up and he looks a little stunned. Just for a moment, though, before he huffs a bit of a laugh. “Now who needs to watch their language,” He says, his tone light and teasing, “Alright, go ahead.” He nods.

Kira takes the hypo out of his kit. “Oh, thank you,” She replies, making sure her own tone savours strongly of sarcasm, “You’re a terrible patient, you know that?” 

There’s that grin again. All charm. “So Nurse Jabara keeps telling me.” He replies, like the pain in the ass he is.

“You should listen to her. She’s always right,” Kira sticks the hypo in his neck, and watches his shoulders instantly sink down a notch. She didn’t even realize how tense he was, “Better?” She asks. 

Julian takes a deep breath. Probably the first one he’s taken all day. “…Much,” He admits, with the decency to look a little sheepish, “Thank you, Major.” His smile’s a bit less charm now, a bit more sincere.

Kira finds herself smiling back. “Anytime,” She says. She shoots a quick look around, regaining her bearings a bit now that they’re both taken care of. She can still hear blasters firing, but not as close. They might’ve moved off somewhere else. Or they could be waiting, “We should probably get moving.” She suggests.

“Probably,” Julian agrees, “Just one problem, though. I don’t think I can walk.” He tells her.

Kira figured. “Can you limp?” She asks, “I’ve still got two good shoulders, both perfectly good for leaning on.” She offers, patting her shoulder for emphasis.

There’s that glint in his eye. First time she’s seen it today- stubborn determination, or, in another word, cocky. “I think I can manage that.” He says.

Kira grins. “Great,” She ducks in and gets her arm around his waist, pulling him in snug against her as he wraps his arm around her shoulders, “Alright, lean on me. Steady. And…” She pushes herself up, and brings him with her. He leans heavy into her side, and she tightens her hold on him to keep him steady, “Up we go. Ready?” She asks.

Julian takes a moment to find his balance, shifting most of his weight off of his injured leg and compensating on Kira’s shoulder. “As I can be,” He tells her with a nod, “Let’s go.”

And they’re off. Making quite the sight as they hobble back into the action, pressed hip to hip and clinging tight to each other. But, hey, they’re still kicking, and they’ve still got their phasers, so they’ll make do. They always do. 

[puella-1n-somn10]

(only moots can rb, but anyone can reply)

For those who are asking me how I am dealing with uni projects and writer's block causing me to hit the brakes for now on Hau's magi/witch form megapost, well, here's the summary of what I've been up to so far,

I'm gathering resources and references in the meanwhile, I swearrrrrrrrrr

I've been thinking about the karmatic potential of the other Pokemon rivals and protagonists combined with the levels of their emotions/despair! So far around 4 trainers managed to actually tie with Kriemhild Gretchen, which isn't a huge number in of itself, but it is CONCERNING that was got 4 of these bitches.

When the TF2 hyperfixation returns, Misha is next. Maybe.

I guess Kaveh, too, in case of the impact of Genshin

I am so damn sorry for not being talkative; I've been real busy lately, and, well, I am writing this at 1 AM; shit's that bad :'D But dw abt me, this will pass. I just want to apologize for not being there.

Well, I am off to sleep now, but I want to share the list of Pokemon's rivals and protagonists, and how much their karma and accumulated curses will affect the world around them if they were to succumb to despair;

Feel free to debate with me; I will try and reply once I wake up, promise.

Now that all's said and done, I wish for everyone good night (morning?), and sweet dreams!

[one-vivid-judgment]

Hi! Sending nudes or lewd texts to Eiji hcs pls! Thx!

I'm gonna be honest folks, I wanted this to stay a short piece but it turned into 2.5K+ fanfiction 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️ I'd apologize, but I'm not even sorry. I'm gonna go even further and say that this may have helped take me out of writer's block, even. Whoever you are, anon, I hope both sides of your pillow are cold at night cause you may have just gotten me out of my writing slump. I SWEAR I THOUGHT THIS WOULD STAY SHORT WHEN I STARTED, BUT I JUST KEPT ON GOING AND WRITING MORE, AND I LOVE THIS FOR ME 😭😭

Anyway, Mr. Eiji Mitamura from the critically acclaimed game Yakuza 8: Infinite Wealth, just one chance, I'm begging.

Me: Ei-chaaaan

Me: Can you come over?

It’s normally not like you to ask Eiji to come over so late. But you know he’s a night owl, usually up at this time of night, so the chances of him answering are pretty high. It’s for a very important reason, too—that being, you are horny out of your mind and can’t sleep. Eiji has always been able to help with that, and he never says no to a good fuck either. He’s not your boyfriend, officially speaking, but the nights he stays over have started to outnumber the ones he does not. You’ll have to give it a name sooner or later. Not tonight though. Tonight, you need only one thing.

Eiji: That depends

Me: Jesus, don’t do this to me

Me: I’m so fucking horny

Eiji: Damn, must suck

Eiji: For you

Eiji: Nighty night!

“Asshole,” you say, like he can even hear you.

He is probably sitting at Club Guilty, drink in one hand and his phone in the other. Maybe with some whore kneeling between his legs, sucking his dick. He’s never had any qualms with anyone seeing him like that: grinding against you till you both came, sneaking a hand inside your shorts, under your shirt. A handful of thigh or ass or chest. Shameless asshole—he could’ve asked you to come to the club with him tonight and you would’ve said yes, and you’ll be riding the shit out of him right there, right now.

Settling for a random bitch he found at the club when he has no need for it? No, you decide. That’s not Eiji. He likes you too much for that; likes how easy it is with you, to get you out of your clothes and into bed, the dirty shit that comes out of your mouth.

“Jesus, you’re fucking filthy.” He said the first time you hooked up. His breath hitched and his hips stuttered. “Wanted to get fucked that badly? Stuffed to the brim with cock?”

“Y-You’re one to talk—oh, shit!”

And shit indeed. Remembering all this stuff is certainly not helping. If anything, it’s getting you even more hot and bothered than before. Familiar pit of warmth inside your stomach, restless moving around, clinging to the phone even harder. Eiji hasn’t sent another text since that last one, and you know he won’t unless you keep things moving. That’s how he operates—it’s all some sort of fucked-up power play for him. It’s insufferable. He is insufferable. He is turning you on. You are turned on and desperate and want him right now.

Me: Asshole

Me: Come do something about it

Eiji: Why though?

Eiji: Doesn’t sound like my problem

Eiji: Rub one out or something, I know you have toys lying around the house

Me: Oh, fuck you!

Eiji: Not exactly, no

Eiji: Was that all? Can I go back to minding my business?

You know just how far he can push this little game of his. He’s done it before. He has left you waiting for hours until you had finally begged enough for his liking and he backed down and came. It pissed you off. He is pissing you off. He’s got your hand sneaking underneath your shirt and toying with an increasingly hardening nipple. It’s good, but it’s not him. It’s not what you need.

Me: Eiji Mitamura

Me: If I don’t get your dick inside me in the next hour I will loose it

Eiji: Aww, that’s cute!

Eiji: Too bad though, I’m kinda busy over here

The next thing that comes is a picture, surprisingly enough. It catches you off guard: Eiji very rarely sends them, not wanting anyone to intrude on his business, see what he’s up to. But the underlying meaning of what it must mean that he’s sending them to you doesn’t matter right now.

First thing that crosses your mind is that he definitely took the pic from that angle deliberately; from up high, looking down at his parted legs, where he’s keeping his drink that’s mostly ice by now. Not much else can be seen, but the colored lightning is enough to let you know that you were right, he is at Club Guilty. He is wearing those black pants and the Hawaiian black-and-blue shirt he loves and that you have grown fond of as well. It’s simple enough, but he pulls it off so well you can’t complain. He doesn’t need to dress up any more to look good.

It’s very easy to take it off for sex, too.

Jesus, you are too fucking horny to think straight. Eiji definitely knew what he was doing with this photo. He deliberately posed for it and spread his legs wider on purpose. It goes unsaid but you immediately imagine how there is just enough room for you to crawl in between them. Those pants just so happen to highlight the crotch area, too.

Fucking asshole.

But something about this push-and-pull does get you going. It gets you going so badly that next thing you know, you are the one taking a photo and pressing ‘send’.

You know he has no issue with opening a photo like that in public. Close-up of your chest, silvery moonlight tastefully falling across your skin, accentuating the fading hickeys he left all over you the last time you hung out and the reddish color of your nipple between your fingers. You can almost see the shit-eating grin on his face, not even bothering to hide his phone screen from the view of strangers.

They can look all they want, but not touch, anyway.

Eiji: Aww, so desperate for me already?

Eiji: Why are you not fucking yourself on your toys already, hm?

Eiji: You want the real thing that badly?

Me: Asshole

Me: You know I do

Me: So come on over

Eiji: I don’t know, that little sneak peek was kinda weak

Of course. You should have seen that coming. Eiji wouldn’t be swayed that easily by something so tame. It was still worth a try though, you figure.

So, you take another.

Eiji: Now that’s what I was talking about

Eiji: The little slut got wet just from some flirting? That’s adorable!

Shit, it’s embarrassing to admit it, but you did. You woke up an hour after going to bed, too hot and bothered to go back to sleep and aching for Eiji.

Groveling like this is not usually your style, you like to play hard to get and see who cracks first. But, just like Eiji put it, some light flirting already has you salivating at the mouth. One photo of his legs spread with a glass between them and you are already thinking about creeping in between them and unzipping his pants. With your fucking teeth if necessary; the asshole thought it was hot last time you did it.

But you wouldn’t spend too much time on that—you’d go straight to taking him into your mouth. Down to the base, like you’ve done before, like he’s been training you to do. He likes having his cock sucked and you like sucking it; the weight of it in your tongue, the slimy trickle of pre-cum down your throat, the way your gag reflex has all but disappeared at this point. Everything really, down to the musky smell that would normally gross you out on anybody else. He’ll grip your hair tight like you are about to go anywhere (you wouldn’t; if you were given a choice, you wouldn’t), buck his hips into your mouth hoping to hit that slight gag reflex still in you and thrusting harder when he doesn’t get it. Silly thought, really. He’s made you that way. He doesn’t get to get frustrated about it now.

You’d let him use you like a toy until he comes. Giving him that illusion of power is kind of fun. He thinks he can call the shots every time, but you know better. You suspect that he is aware, that you are just letting him believe he is in control when he is really not. But if he knows, he doesn’t say it. He is into it. You are into it. You keep your little silent agreement and don’t speak about it.

Speaking with Eiji is kind of a touchy subject, actually. He was so closed off when you met, back at Club Guilty (everything just comes back to that damn place, doesn’t it?), when he ordered a drink for you and you thought he was some stuck-up imbecile looking for a cheap lay. Two drinks later, you were in the restroom of the club, pulling on his hair and doing very little to keep your noises at bay, as his hips slammed against your ass.

The rest was kinda the textbook definition of a fuckbuddies relationship. He called you or you called him. You’ve ridden him in the couch of your living room more times than you could count on, he’s been a sadistic fuck and tied you up to your bed with a vibe on the highest setting inside, edging you for hours until you were red-eyed, sobbing on his shoulder and clawing at his back. Talking was never really a part of the equation, your conversations always circling around to the same topic.

But lately... He’s been opening up, as it were. Telling you things about an accident, about how he used to be a journalist. You’ve seen him freshly woken up, a bird’s nest for hair and wearing glasses around. Shortsightedness, he said, and left it at that. Then he rolled over and made coffee.

It’s nothing borderline domestic like that, but it’s so different from what you once were. And it seems he hasn’t noticed. Or you are misreading things. Or he has noticed and simply doesn’t mind it too much. Maybe he’s grown so used to your presence that he couldn’t care less. If it happens, it happens.

That’s not your concern right now though. You can fret over your relationship status all you want when you are not turned on beyond belief, one of your fingers threatening to slip inside. A placebo that you know won’t work. You need the real thing or nothing at all.

Your grip on the phone tightens a little. The screen could crack if you’re not careful. The thought flashes through your mind in a moment of clarity, one of those you rarely have when you are horny.  You spare it a side glance just on time to see it.

Eiji is calling.

“Took you long enough, you—” Your voice catches in your throat, a little breathless. He chuckles lowly, clearly amused, but you hear it nonetheless. “You bastard...”

“Still coherent enough to talk shit, I see.”

“And whose fault is it?” Hook, line and sinker. He wanted you to bite and you did. “Maybe shove something in my mouth if you want me to shut up!"

“So vulgar...” He says. You didn’t catch it earlier, but he’s not shouting over the loud music like he would if he were still at the club. It’s his normal, speaking voice. A little short of breath, perhaps, like he is walking somewhere. Walking fast. “Who taught you to speak like that?”

It makes you whine, inevitably. You thrash around in the bed. The sheets feel wet against your skin from the sweat down your back. Oh, you are gonna have to change them for sure. Idly, you wonder if Eiji would help with that.

“Oh, don’t get smart with me! You fu—”

“You are still talking back, brat?” He says it so matter-of-factly, clearly not looking for an answer. He gets one regardless though—another whine. “Damn, you want it so bad you’re touching yourself already? No self-restraint at all? What a whore. But you’re my whore, aren’t you?”

“How long...?” And you lose track of your words. Your thoughts get all jumbled and scattered, and you have to bite down on your tongue and shut your eyes in frustration. Your free hand latches on to your blanket and pulls. Shame that you changed them since the last time Eiji stayed the night—maybe, then, they would still smell like him. If they did, you could be smelling them and rutting against your pillow. Instead, you are calling Eiji so late and enduring this endless teasing before actually getting anything out of the whole ordeal. “How long till you get here?”

He muses. Makes a thoughtful little noise from the bottom of his throat like he’s thinking so hard. You can almost imagine him slowing down on purpose, just to take longer to get home. Your home.

“How bad do you want it?”

“Eiji, Jesus Christ,” You almost scream, then decide against it. You are already going to give our neighbors hell the moment Eiji knocks on the door, they deserve every lick of sleep they can get before that. “I want your fucking cock inside me, just—I want you to make me fucking cry. Shove my head in the damn pillow and keep going for all I care. Use me, come in me, call me names, I don’t give a shit, I just don’t wanna be able to walk tomorrow! These marks are already going away, you saw it, and I need... need more. I don’t care if people see them. I want them to! I want to look like a bunch of mosquitos mauled me when I look in the mirror! I want to get up and still feel your cum inside, make it feel like you own me! Just... Please.”

Well, so much for letting your neighbors get their sleep. Not like they don’t know already. The headboard makes this loud, banging noise every time, and Eiji doesn’t exactly keep his dirty thoughts to himself, just like you don’t. Maybe that’s why things work so well for you two. You have even started grinding down on the bed as you speak, completely unconsciously, just to get some friction. Just something.

“For a pretty thing like you, your mouth is damn filthy, you know? Love that about you.”

“Eiji...”

“Oh, don’t sound so sad! I never said I wouldn’t come, did I? You just jumped to conclusions cause you’re too horny to care what anyone has to say. If you’re not getting stuffed with cock, you don’t care. You’re slutty like that. Truly nasty...”

He keeps talking, talking, talking. The tap-tap-tap of his footsteps in the background is the one constant keeping you sane.

Until they stop.

“You’ll have to give me a key to your place one of these days if you’re gonna keep calling this late.” He muses out loud. But you don’t even have time to consider his proposal when he speaks again. “Now come open the door for me, baby.”

His voice is mellow and soft. The pet name, new and foreign, though not unwelcome. It makes you a little lightheaded to hear it.

Maybe you do need to give Eiji a key to your apartment. You will sit on the idea for the time being, then ponder later, when you are together in your bed.

After he has fucked the daylights out of you, of course.

[waklman]

Tilly my lovely writer,

you absolutely can't imagine how I love your work. You are so talented and I can't stop reading your stuff. I'm so obsessed with Fake It, you gave Jake such a special personality, omg I LOVE IT. So sad that you suffering fro. I writers block, don't stress yourself, we love you.

Because of my very (un)healthy obsession with Fake It, I've got a lot of ideas for these two idiots. Hear me out, imagine this whole fake dating is stressing Princess so much and one day the bitch friends of Jake's ex saying to her that she's just a consolation prize for Jake and she will never be worth it or enough for him. Hurt to no end and an migraine incoming she goes home only to have a bsd argument with Jake. Shhr snaps at him and he also says something hurtful (like "no wonder that you're just have a fake boyfriend"). Of course Jake instantly regrets his words but his best friend is hurt. Alone in her room she cries herself to sleep only to wake up hours later with a raging migraine. Imagine Jake finds her nearly passed out in the kitchen, one time more realizing how important she is to him. He takes care of her. Worried Jake, protective Jake, care taking Jake that's what we need

first of all, i love you too & thank you so much for this sweet message because, really, i needed to hear that, i’ve felt so awful for not being able to update fake it (i know i shouldn't but it happens). anyways, this felt so nice to write bc i wasn’t struggling with it, so here is worried jake!! i know i had two other requests for this in my inbox as well, so this is also for those two anons :)

Jake doesn’t hate. 

All his life, he was told by his mother that hate was bad for the heart. That hate had no rightful place in his growing body. But, in the midst of his underwhelming teenage angst, Jake Seresin secretly concluded that his hate should be reserved for one thing, and one thing only—and that was making you cry. 

So, when you came barging into his room, hysterical and teary eyed over some stupid thing some girl said about you two, Jake had no intent of making you cry. It was just that, he could barely get a word in when you were mindlessly repeating it back to him. 

That girl has her head on backwards if she thinks Seresin actually likes her, he’s only sticking around because he feels obliged to. I feel sorry for him, I’d go ballistic if my parents picked out my friends for me.

Frustration spread through his body like a virus when you kept cementing that it was true, accusing him of agreeing with it too. And that’s when the worst thing he ever said to you came out his mouth this evening. 

If you want to fucking believe that you’re so unlikeable, then maybe it’s true. Maybe you are.

The moment the words fell off his tongue, you immediately went quiet, giving him a glimpse of what it looked like when he made you cry.

At that, Jake hated himself more than anything. Jake hated that you looked more hurt than you did when you originally stalked inside, looking for his assurance. Jake hated that he had to listen to you sob for most of the night, alone in the bathroom with the door shut. Jake hated that you might have taken what he said out of anger to heart. That you believed you weren’t worthy of being liked, especially by him.

Because if anything, that was far from the truth. 

And Jake couldn’t let you fall asleep tonight like this, not when he knew you always punished yourself by not tending to the migraines you got from crying. 

“Swallow it please,” Jake lets out a guilty breath, watching your throat weakly bob when you take down the Motrin he eased past your lips.

Seated across from each other in the bathtub, Jake’s frame struggles to fit in the confines of the porcelain, more than yours does—but he pushes the discomfort away, because you’d been sitting here for hours while he was laid in his bed.

And maybe it was because Jake had tiredly pleaded outside the door for a hour before coming in or maybe it was because you watched him struggle to fit himself in the tub with you just so he could mouth feed you some ibuprofen, but you lurch forward—knocking the wind out of him in a desperate hug. 

It takes all of Jake’s self restraint to not fall apart when you slot yourself between his legs and gently rest your chin on his shoulder, letting him feel you again. 

With a tight throat, he forces himself to speak. “I’m so fucking sorry, princess.”

When you sniff in his ear, Jake pulls you closer against him, cushioning the side of your head so it doesn’t hit the bathtub faucet. “I didn’t mean it. God I—I really didn’t fucking mean it,” he starts, voice already shaky. “I don’t want you thinkin’ that I only stick around because our families are close.” Jake swallows when he feels you move a hand to softly scratch at his nape, comforting him through this.

“I know,” you whisper softly, trying to ease the tension in his body. “If you did, you wouldn’t pick a fight with your sisters everytime they claimed me as a roommate when we stayed at hotels,” you let out a hoarse giggle, throat still sore from crying. 

At that, a small smile settles on his face. “I also let them put makeup on me so I was allowed in the girls room,” he adds. 

“Yeah, exactly. You just like me that much, you loser.” Your mouth stretches into a wide smile, cracked lips burning as it does. Finally, Jake lightens up, laughing at your little jab. 

“I just like you that much,” he repeats.