#i wanted it to be like weird and imbalanced but not convoluted

[gray-ace-space]

so there's a thing i noticed from spending time in the acespec mspec community that i haven't seen a specific name for. and that may just be because i haven't looked hard enough idk. but i tried to fill the gap with this term:

asymmetrisexual / acesymmetrical

an acespec person who's attracted to two or more genders, but is different degrees or types of asexual for different ones.

so for example:

someone who is bi & graysexual for women but asexual for men

someone who is pan & cupiosexual for women but demisexual for men

etc

various flavors of nbs also factor into it but i didn't include them in the examples because it would get very complicated quickly.

i made a bunch of flag drafts but i ended up liking both of these, so i'll just give you both (one has more purple, the other has more black).

i think my attempt to visually represent this idea was successful and it looks both unique and relatively easy to reproduce! (if u want to know the exact geometry lmk i will break it down for u)

feel free to use these for yourself, credit not required but appreciated

[eye-of-yelough]

umm. misgendering and faux-incest incoming.

today on making gortae Worse by pushing the “platonic soulmates (derogatory) (horror)” dynamic and taking Gortash’s view of how they were Made For Each Other, Two Halves Of The Same Whole, The Brain and The Heart, The Iron Fist and The Mercy Dagger as far as it can go: Gortash calling Aeryn his little sister.

it’s just an off-handed comment the first time. “you’re like the little sister i never had”. and it has to be sister, of course, because he would never treat his brother this way, and a brother would never need so much attention, so much care. and then the look of confusion, disgust and finally, horror makes its way across Aeryn’s face, and the way he scrunches his nose up makes him look even more alien, even more ugly, even more cute, like a pug or a hairless cat, and how could he feel that way about anyone but his little sister? So he says it a few more times over the years, in the most inappropriate situations, to savour every physical recoil, every shudder. Every “I don’t want to be your sister!” and the implicit “I want to be your lover” Aeryn can never bring himself to say out loud, and Gortash savours that, too, the fact that he feels that way, the fact that he knows it’s unrequited, the fact that he knows if he were to say it he’d be punished. the fact that it’s not even true, not really, he just thinks that’s what he wants, but that’s going off topic.

but just. yeah. ough. Gortash being such a fucking creep about it. Genuinely starting to see Aeryn that way, it becoming part of the reason he puts off having sex with him for Ten Years, and when he does, getting off on how fucked up it all is. Because that’s how Gortash’s asexuality works in my head. Bodies are nothing so he has to get creative with weird, convoluted power imbalanced psychosexual bullshit to get off, and does so happily, regardless of how Aeryn feels about it.

basically: what if i snuck up behind you and roughly felt up your left tit (to feel your heartbeat speed up) while calling you my baby sister. and we were both boys 😬

[altruisticenigma]

Get the fuck away from me if you think me being on the asexual spectrum is anywhere near not LGTBQ. I don’t want your fucking toxicity nor do I want your problematic bullshit anywhere near me. I take a lot of pride in that identity, I get a lot of flak for that identity. It's STRAIGHT to be cis, heterosexual, and well, have a sex drive- it's glorified a lot in our society. That confusion about sex drives make us confused growing up as well, in some of our experiences.

And while it’s not directly socially institutionalized to be oppressed for being ace, socially hell yeah you can be oppressed- in such a sexualized society, partners who prefer sexual partners are going to not prefer us, are not going to understand our boundaries and find us frustrating even if we are emotionally interesting. Friends don’t get us; “isn’t it normal to have a sex drive?” Family would scoff at such a special snowflake term, much less being LGBTQ+ in general. It’s just such a convoluted thing; it seems so simple yet causes so many issues in many of our relationships when we come out. People think it’s necessary to make us sexual and it’s disgusting. It's irritating and it causes a lot of strain.

I’m more than just ace, but being ace alone should justify me being LGTBQ. There’s been many instances where I’ve tried to describe myself and people get weird responses and “wow how does your partner put up with that?” “You just haven’t had good sex yet” “maybe your hormones are imbalanced?” Nah y'all I just DONT CARE for sex I’m not broken for not wanting it ok

I get lots of self doubt and worry over my identity because I’ve got trauma but I know it’s not associated with my trauma because I’m not a sex repulsed ace, I’m just not interested in sex like at all y'all. LGTBQ means derivatives from the sexual attraction norm; ace counts when it comes from a feminist analysis, you assholes.

I just

Fuck your elitist “I’m more gay than you are!” Gatekeeping

Fuck your bullshit