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russell-crowe · 2 years

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just some text thinking under the cut (with a little tw for themes such as depression and suicidal thoughts)

2013 is my lost year. it was the year i turned sixteen, which i presumed would be a delightful circumstance. but instead i spent the period between october 2012 and july 2013 in the dark. i did not attend school, i did not leave my room, i did not leave my bed, i did not take care of myself, i was being utterly self destructive.

for years i have not really acknowledged 2013, as it was simply a black hole in my life. in fact, i barely remember anything of my life from before summer 2013. there are just a handful of things, like the smell that hits my nose when i am hit with the memory of a video game i used to play at a friends house.

but lately, 2013 is showing up. first it was the mentalist popping up - a show i do not directly associate with my lost year, but one that is moreso linked with a life that got destroyed by my own self destruct. i lost the routine of watching it every tuesday on tv. i lost the friend i discussed it with. but that show is one of the few things that made it across the dark gap that is 2013.

then now i am back into les mis, hugh jackman and russell crowe, which is something that had its very roots in my dark period. it was in my darkest period that i fell in love with their work and watched through everything, and it was one of the few times i invited my mom into my locked up world, as we would sometimes watch some of these films.

i do not feel bitter towards any of it, but it does bring back the vivid memory of one particular night that i would like to discuss. my parents moved out of my childhood home this summer, and that was the first time this memory flickered in my brain in years. but now it is kinda on a loop.

it happened as i was watching 'a beautiful mind'. i had never in my life been triggered, but as i watched this film i well and truly felt an emotional response that to this day i cannot explain. i know the movie is flawed as a biographical work, but watching john in his truth, being unconciously self destructive and witnessing the response of the people around him... i do not know which precise scene it was, as i have not dared to rewatch the film, but at one point his despair and mental state unlocked something in my brain.

for the first time in my life, age fifteen, i felt the unexplainable need to open my door, walk to my balcony and jump. realistically it would harm me, but likely not kill me, but at the time i felt overwhelmed with the intention to end my life.

it sounds like a silly cause, but something about that film unlocked every single experience, thought and emotion that was hidden under a veil of darkness from depression and suddenly made it crash into me like a great wave, intended to take me along and drown me.

i do not remember how i managed to calm myself down or how, a day later, i willed myself to watch it. i only remember the distinct feeling of emotions rushing through me and the magnetic feeling i felt towards my balcony.

but here comes the rest - somehow, 'a beautiful mind' became a kind of reset point in my brain. seeing the ending with john realizing his situation and overcoming it through this change in his brain (idk how to explain it, because again i have not watched this in 9 years)... it lifted something from me. because at the time therapy was not helping, medicine was not helping. and seeing him be the change in himself, somehow flipped a switch in me to... want to change.

i would not say i owe my life to russell crowe nor this role, but there is this whole 'this actor is a part of my being, whether i like it or not' that i have had to face during some intervals in my past years and well... weeks. and perhaps the older i get, the more i realize this. and the more i realize that this lost year wil also always be a part of me.

while i am at it, the road to recovery and becoming the person i am right now is largely shaped by my great uncle (my grandpas brother) inviting me to stay over at his place in virginia for a month and me meeting his lesbian daughter, which got me to start my transitioning period in the fall of that same year and cut my hair. it is also shaped by me clinging to U2 at the time, which despite of what your opinions are on them, is a band that discusses themes like hope, love and standing up for your loved ones and people in need. i have been a little teenage wanker with anger issues, but the light from them is still a core value that even though i do not associate with them directly, i still appreciate.

(that is also probably the reason why, when i go to their concerts, they manage to hit me emotionally right in my very core)

idk where i was going with this but i guess there are some Heavy Themes kinda orbiting my brain right now. i would say i am proud of who i am becoming right now and i am happy - episodes of depression happen vewer and vewer, but this is something that i will apparently need to give a better place for it to find peace.

(and i am still debating whether it is worth watching a beautiful mind again and whether it will make things better or worse jdjdjd)

#text

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piejumper · 2 years

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Finished rewatching Maoka Magica, thoughts below

Having finished a rewatch of madoka magica I think the reason it holds up so well as a "dark subversion" of the magical girl genre is because it doesn't actually stop being whimsical and genuine ironically enough. It never shows gore or excessive horror and even in its most dark moments it doesn't dwell on it and its only about 3 to 4 moments in the whole show that it goes that far, and gives it an appropriate amount of respect to the emotional impact it has on its characters without turing the whole show into a downer. Beyond that it's remarkably simple in its execution all in all. (It got kinda tiring how often madoka cried for me personally, but it was refreshing seeing how like, a normal teenager would react to the situations compared to other shows that have protags go through 1 million traumatizing events and act unaffected afterwards)

Other than that it's almost entirely committed to telling a tragedy about love and hope in the face of a grim and jaded world and how innocence is bashed against it without sympathy to those it hurts. It's pretty simple and overt with how it presents those themes but it never feels out of place I feel partly because of the extreme lengths the show goes to present itself with a overtly whimsical play aesthetic with its incorporation of collage based visuals and real world materials inside an almost MC Escher like city with a lot of focus on depicting it's scenes and characters with as much visual metaphor and beauty as possible rather than choosing to depict a purely real or grounded setting to go with its themes of losing innocence and despair.

And it fits perfectly because its a story that whole the ending is still bitter sweet, is still about hope and love conquering all, even a cold and unfeeling universe. And I think that's why I can't stop thinking about it's visuals so many years later.

Although my favorite part of the series is the sequel movie Rebellion and that has a story that recontextualizes the whole series as it plays out and while it's more tragic than hopeful it's manages to stay totally in line with the original series and it's one of the rare cases where I've seen a sequel to a beloved franchise stick the landing because it chooses to take what was there in the first installment and expand and evolve on it with its decision to focus on the themes of doing something selfish to do something good that was there in the anime and following them to their natural conclusions, like "is madoka happy now that she's an abstract concept who isn't remembered by anyone?" And "what did going through all those time loops do to homura when she wasn't able to protect the person she loved?" And tackling them in the same surreal and magical setting while cranking it up to 11.

I'm hoping the next movie can wrap this up in a way that's satisfactory because it's very hard to follow up something that shaked up the status quo so severely and successfully pay off all the character arcs they set up. It makes me hesitant to really want a sequel because while the ending to Rebellion wasn't "happy" it still felt really satisfying to me. Oh well, that's enough talk about magical girl shows out of me. Gonna go and listen to some kalifina now, kyubey can get bent

#pmmm #pmmm spoilers #long post

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mcrmadness · 2 months

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So I saw the Deadpool & Wolverine film a couple of days ago. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, and I might go to see it in the theaters for a second time eventually. There was so much to see that with my ADHD and memory issues, I keep getting new flashbacks about scenes in the film all day long, and there are several conversations I wish I could rewatch because they spoke to me but I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID :DDDDDDDD

So I either go see the film again (let's see what my executive dysfunctions says to that), or wait until it's released on bluray which is probably gonna take a couple of months still.

Anyway, since this is an MCU film now, I started thinking about, well, MCU. I wanna say "a few years back" but it was probably more like, almost 10 years ago cos wtf is time; anyway, back then I at some point had a flu and when I'm sick, I usually spend my time sitting on a sofa wrapped in blankets and watch movies. That winter I was bored and decided to give a try to some earlier MCU films that were on Netflix back then (I had already seen Iron Man, which I liked; and The Avengers, which I hated, and only liked Loki because I just like antihero-type characters and I related to him a bit too much as I was a bitter 21-year-old who was so bored of living in everyone's shadow lol), and I kinda hyperfixated on those. So much so I grew so desperate that I bought the missing movies on DVD only because I NEEDED to see more in order to see the rest on Netflix, and a few from the middle was missing, and I in no way could watch them cos I needed everything to be in the chronological order.

Later I ended up buying every single MCU film on bluray despite hating the Phase One apart from the Iron Man films. Also my sister kept buying me them for Christmas etc.

This ended somewhere in 2019 or 2020, because the last MCU bluray on my shelf is that second Spider-Man film that I don't remember the name of because they all are named so similarly it took me ages to realize there even was a third film out there. And I still don't like majority of the films until Phase Three, where I thought the films started to finally get some character. But there are still some films that just... are not that good. Some of them I have watched multiple times, but with some it makes my ADHD kick in and I just want to roll on the floor in agony when I just think about watching them for the second time cos they are so uninteresting or boring.

So looks like I have not seen a single film from the Phase Four on. The first film was released in 2021 (according to Wikipedia), and honestly, looking at that list of films makes me go both "WTF??????? WHO TF IS THAT???" and "oh whyyyyyyyy D:" and I am torn between my obsession with chronological order - in order to watch something, I HAVE TO watch anything that got released before it. Except that I don't want to. I don't give a fuck about most of those characters and their own movies. Also I have heard so much shit about many of these later films that I feel like they would not even be worth my time.

So might actually change this and maybe one day I will watch the ones that truly interest me. Especially the 4th Thor film. I hated the first two so much (they are not very romance-repulsed-friendly as they literally focus on nothing but Thor and his girlfriend), but the third film was really good because they left out all the useless romance nonsense and made an actually funny and interesting movie. And since the 4th is from the same director, I feel like it could be an okay film too.

I also like Antman's character in MCU and the first film, but I don't remember shit from the second one and I don't know if the third one is any good. But might check that out eventually. Oh and Guardians of the Galaxy films I have always liked, so the 3rd one sounds interesting as well.

Anyhow, Deadpool & Wolverine literally was the first MCU film I have seen since that second Spider-Man (oh and would like to see the third one too!), and then I did watch both seasons of Loki, which I did like actually. So apart from those, I know absolutely nothing about the current state of MCU. I'm sometimes a bit annoyed that DP got added to MCU, but at the same time it gives him so much more freedom to refer to different characters or even meet then in possible future films, just like what happens in the comics all the time. Tho, even with comics I'm often getting annoyed when they put Avengers in the stories cos I'm not here for Avengers, I'm here for Deadpool, so fuck off from my phone screen. Honestly would like to see DP interact move with the X-Men, or even Spider-Man, cos these were THE older Marvel films I grew up with and which I'm way more attached to than the dumbster fire called MCU.

#mcrmadness' random stuff

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lesbiansforboromir · 4 years

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(I didn’t finish my sentence lmfaoo. I meant I don’t hate the movies portrayal of D B and F’s relationship but I might’ve preferred it in the books ahaha sry my bad lol) yeah that’s kind of an issue with create movies of book, ppl just assume it’s the same cause it’s an adaptation. The books are a Lot too, so ppl might not even wanna bother cause they’re not easy to read vs watching an Adaption of them, so they’ll never know the og characters.

I only rewatch lotr recently after years of growing up with it and tbh I completely forgot that Gondor was a Thing, it rly is just kinda forgettable in the movies.

This is rly making me want to tackle the books lol. The differences are gonna be something to adjust to.

Apart from the Gondor dudes who would you say gets the biggest change? Or worse in your opinion

Oh no I do hate the dynamic of the steward family in the films jdahkjasd Honestly I think this portrayal of abusive parents being just ugly and easily identifiable as villains is somewhat regressive but No worries no worries.

ANd yeah... Gondor really is so forgettable in the films I-

BUT YEAH UM... I guess I can’t say everyone can I um, lets start talking and see how many we get through.

Merry and Pippin got an absolutely tragic reduction in the films. In the books they’re frodo’s friends long before the film, Merry is Frodo’s best friend, he loves Frodo so much he helps him move house and deals with his obnoxious family. Merry actually organises the whole trip, he figures out Frodo intends to leave on his own and secretly organises to go with him JUST because he’s his best friend. He’s like yo, you’ve got something scary you’ve got to do Frodo? Don’t know why you thought we’d let you do it on your own. Merry saves the whole quest by doing this! Frodo would have died before he even got out of the Shire if not for Merry.

Gimli’s portrayal, also a tragedy. Peter Jackson saw dwarf and immediately decided ‘comic relief’, despite the fact that Gimli is more polite than Aragorn or Legolas, is a poet and has one of the longest monologues about art and culture in the whole book. It guts me thinking about it.

Eowyn has a severe reduction in her feelings and character, her monologue is sanitised away from a much more bitter and angry condemnation of her people’s culture around women. We got a more patronising image of her relationship with Merry too.

FRODO, oh god Frodo I’m so sorry, Frodo was clever and masterful and adult and!! He was funny! And sarcastic, he was philosophical and cunning. Films tell you that Merry and Pippin were like thieves, NO Merry and Pippin were very upstanding young gentlemen and Farmer Maggot thought very highly of them both. FRODO is the criminal in this group who stole his mushrooms! Frodo asked questions and made plans and tried to figure things out by himself, he wasn’t this strange melancholic ring box to be ushered places. Frodo saved the world by TAKING the ring’s power on mount doom after planning how to do that and cursing gollum to essentially drop the ring into the mountain of fire LIKE. Frodo had agency! SAM TOO fsfdgsdfgs I skip frodo and sam’s scenes in the films but i love them in the books.

Aragorn and Gandalf are vastly different characters in the films in that they’re likable. And this is... better for Aragorn I think. Although I miss him being a little more snarky and self important and sharp, but it’s better than Aragorn’s likable which he thoroughly isn’t in the books in my opinion. I MEAN... he’s- he’s very complex in the books and there are likable moments amongst him snapping at people and talking about himself. But for Gandalf I think it was a thorough detriment. Which hurts, love Ian Mckellen, that’s my grandad, but Gandalf was like genuinely manipulative in the books and literally could not stand being wrong despite being wrong quite a lot. Constantly Gandalf will angrily and rudely snap at people who rightly critisise his choices (Boromir for one) and this is good because you don’t want an infallible morally irreproachable dad for this whole adventure. It’s much more interesting this way.

Eomer, miss him being a little more young and fiery and a little out of his depth but proud and confident even so. Like I know Karl Urban was exactly 27 in the films but he felt very world weary and kind of ‘I’ve had it’ when he’d only just become Third Marshall like barely a year ago. AND OF COURSE, this is compounded by the way Theodred’s death is portrayed like... askjdas like oops! Our 18 year old prince just died in this lil stream in this small lil battle huh weird- NO!! Theodred was 41!! And had died in a MASSIVE battle against Isengard! He was assassinated in fact, the whole point of the battle was to assassinate Theodred because he’d been so influential to maintaining Rohan’s stability despite all Grima and Saruman’s efforts. Eomer was a man who’d just lost a mentor, an adopted elder brother! Anyway...

Um... honourable mention for Hama... our dear doorward... miss you being relevant and telling Aragorn to fuck off babe. Farmer Maggot, miss you being relevant and like the literal best. Haldir, miss you NOT being relevant dwarfist bastard but I love to watch you die. Galadriel and Celeborn, not enough she pegs him energy, not enough of her being scary and unknowable, not enough of her laughing. Bilbo! I’m sorry they didn’t let you go back to the Lonely Mountain that’s miserable my guy.... Gollum’s alright... I think that’s everyone who exists in the films and books both.

So this still ended up as everyone :)

#chats #when I say I could complain about every scene in the films I could not be more serious #Anonymous #asks

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uwumessenger · 4 years

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random headcanons i have for each om! character teehee

hi it's been a while since ive posted some hcs bc uni has been kicking my a$$! luckily i only have a few papers to tidy up and im done. here r some hcs for each obey me character that ive accumulated over the past few months wink wonk

most are random but some constants you'll find are what i think they smell like, languages they can speak (other than their native (demon/angel) and eng/jp), and music tastes !

lucifer

i have a strong feeling that he showers twice a day: in the morning after waking up and at night before going to bed

his cologne is probably the type that will last in an elevator for like a week after he uses it once. i dont think this mf ever smells like anything other than his cologne

has a secret folder on his phone of semi-nudes and other scandalous pics from when he felt sexy at the time omg

aside from demon language/eng/jp he can speak french and knows latin

listens to classical stuff yea but he also listens to diavolos mixtapes (re: diavolo's section)

not a fan of sweets but will eat sweet things when craving

really bland sense of humor...borderline cringey 😭✋🏻

mammon

has gone to google images and searched for "inspirational quotes tumblr" "gold aesthetic tumblr" & "relatable crush post tumblr" then reposts it onto his socials or just taps thru them and giggles bc he relates

his cologne doesnt last as long as lucifers and probably smells common. he has to reapply a lot but it's a people pleasing smell. it's cheaper hence the constant reapplying

he probably does have an expensive bottle but is the type to totally overspray...eek

he is canonically a car guy 🥲 and probably tells the one in his room good morning & good night + kisses the hood every once in a while. has tons of car magazines

he doesnt really speak other languages but has attempted to learn spanish before

listens to whatever is on the radio. doesnt rly stan anyone but he eventually will listen to mc's playlist and mc's playlist ONLY

levi

lurks on mc's socials ALL THE TIMEEEE like he will rewatch ur stories and scroll thru ur feed and overanalyze ur tweets/rts or blog posts. if ur mc isnt the type to use sns much he still googles ur name all the damn time just to find any sites u might be on fjdjdjdjskks

probably streams on whatever youtube or twitch devildom site equivalent there is, but only has like 40 or so followers. which he is okay with!

until he sees someone else who gets more attention than him. then the envy starts kicking in bad. especially if they suck 🧍🏻‍♀️

classic gamer boy smell. you know, sweat, tears, must, and (sometimes) axe deodorant. lucifer has to do a scent check before he goes out to any event & lets him use his cologne. how sweet!

kpop stan!! more girl groups than anything and his ults are probably GIRLS GENERATION, wonder girls, twice, loona, & red velvet

cried when ioi disbanded and refused to leave his room. the only thing u could hear was downpour on loop at full blast

can also speak korean & communicate in echolocation like dolphins 😏

satan

listens to country music you cant change my mind

smells like whatever environment he is in. he doesnt really have a designated smell just throws some deodorant on and goes about his day.

he's sooooo bad at driving...gets road rage way too often so his license has been REVOKED

but hes totally a backseat driver. needs to be sedated on long trips

do not let him watch finding nemo when luke asks to watch it. it's not worth it. he will cause mass destruction.

if he was a human or lived long term in the human world he totally has the ability to be a doctor

is studying as many languages as possible, but he mostly knows latin & french & german etc etc. wants to learn all the dead languages out of curiousity

asmo

dont think this mf has ever held down a relationship. ever

he doesnt compromise much & is not willing to change his lifestyle to fit an s/o into it. you keep up with how he lives or it just isnt meant to be (but dont worry! he'll eventually learn...maybe,,,,)

has the hardest time out of everyone when it comes to breaking bad habits

his smell varies bc he uses a variety of perfumes (whatever is the most popular at the time) but he probably sticks to floral and fresh scents. he never uses generic people pleaser scents like mammon

listens to electropop, mainstream pop, & some alternative rock

as for languages he too knows french, spanish, italian, etc. in general, if it's a romance language he knows it!

opposite of lucifer in the sense where he loves sweets and will refrain from eating too many bitter things

i think we all know that asmo is the biggest rockstar of the group! he's probably been in a boy band at least once, but now he makes his own music

has tried to teach mammon how to sing once. ended up in a broken piano and bleeding ears...

beel

i feel like he is SO SHY

like unless ur close to him he will not start conversations or anything

i think he listens to r&b a lot ! and jazz 😎 maybe rock as well

smells like ur typical athlete with undertones of wet wipes. he carries them around bc he likes to clean his hands before he eats & is prepared for when theres no sink nearby

he can drive and he drives really well. no rough turns, parallel parks perfectly, and never has problems with merging

driving with beel is probably really soothing. left hand is steering the other is gripping ur thigh 😫

dont think hes really fluent in any other language but hes probably semi fluent in korean because levi wanted beel to help him out

definitely know how to order food in practically every language tho HAHAHA

belphie

he reminds me of randall from monsters inc

smells kinda musty IM SORRY but not the way levi does hes more like the kind of musty u feel or smell when it's a shitty morning

but that's only because hes so lazy, when he cleans up hes like satan

has definitely murdered multiple people before. mc is not the first 😐✋🏻

with that being said belphie has been put into prison at least twice when visiting the human world, the mf had such a strong hatred for humans theres no way he never got into trouble before

lucifer probably broke him out and they used the pen thingies from men in black to erase everyones memory of that 🙄

dont think he listens to anything other than music that'll put him to sleep. really likes lazy song by bruno mars but thinks that bruno mars put too much effort into the song. should have been one acapella verse and then finish

similar to beel hes only semi fluent in one language, probably french bc of lucifer. doesnt remember much but knows a couple of lullabies and bedtime stories

the sandman used to be his bff until they drifted. they do, however, like and comment on each other's sns posts.

diavolo

once he found out who nicki minaj was he became her #1 stan

def an ariana grande stan too 😌

choreographs dances when hes stressed...idk just seems like a diavolo thing to do

also makes rly bad soundcloud rap music sometimes. turns to poetry when hes feeling emo but only lucifer knows this. barbatos is suspicious of him but doesnt have enough evidence to confirm.

his dad is like hudson abadeer from adventure time aka marceline's dad? something must have influenced him to want to unite the 3 realms + he would need the approval to do so, so his dad must be more chill than all the others before him 🧍🏻‍♀️ IDK ok anyway

currently going through his hamilton phase bc of mc. whether mc's intent was to get him hooked onto it or just to explain it bc of something he saw online, he tells everyone that he found out abt it bc of mc!

this man cannot drive his skills are only second to jumin han

not too fond of many languages but knows the widely spoken ones like spanish, mandarin, etc. if it's taught in high school he knows it

smells like a las vegas casino. not sure why but i feel like he does. but there's also an interesting & nice smell to him if he embraces you. it's a smell you cant quite identify. but it smells nostalgic, it's mysterious, and it's tempting.

barbatos

very calm demeanor but underneath hes WILD hes probably done everything at least once oof

he just has a lot of control and stability over himself (must be nice!)

on a more angsty note i feel like he might have had his heartbroken sO BAD IDK he is hurting and maybe that's why hes so willing to obey diavolo and not abuse his time lord power thingies bc he learned his lesson the hard way

mans is so smart he knows every language you could switch languages mid conversation with him and he wouldnt be thrown off. he'd probably start speaking it too.

BUT HE SPEAKS VIET P E R F E C T L Y

listens to the same stuff as lucifer but also likes eminem. likes the movie 8 mile but criticized it heavily

have you ever been to a chinese herb shop? naturally, he smells like that. his room probably smells like it too. he doesnt really have a significant smell like some of the others

when he bakes he smells like whatever hes baking tho

one of the few out of everyone listed to have been able to travel to literally everywhere

solomon

was probably on kitchen nightmares once, but only to get feedback from chef gordon ramsay. then he used his magic to prevent the episode from airing...

was in an orchestra, one of the best times of his life. played the violin. asmo watched him in the audience once, but didnt approach him until well after that performance.

he CANNOT sing. he can, however, rap.

doesnt listen to music. he listens to podcasts! but every now and then he turns on background music, but prefers it to be instrumental stuff

never wears sunglasses. also does not have a driver's license. cannot drive a regular car. could maybe fly an airplane.

due to his immortality he has learned almost every language to exist, but finds himself speaking mandarin the most. knows most dialects too

similar smell to barbatos but u can also smell some sunscreen on him too. like, generic beach day suncreen

he has a lot of pact marks, so he once had the idea to match foundation to his skin. it took him two weeks but he eventually perfected a combination. yes he will help u find ur perfect shade if u ask him to

simeon

another country music man. has also made a tiktok or two to that one song that goes "he cant even bait a hook." they are private tho

angel country music exists and simeon invented it

if he visits the human world and wears more causal clothing he probably tucks his shirt into his pants

wears a speedo at the beach i tell u, speedo at the beach

he can speak german...i can feel it

uses his pointer finger to type and holds the phone like 2 inches away from his face so sometimes his nose will push a key hence all his typos

has no signature smell. he simply smells like your favorite scent all the time. if multiple people are around him at once, everyone smells a different smell. it's pretty rad

"what does he smell like to himself?" u may be asking. hmm...a church? 💀

luke

his first pet was a goldfish and a few months before the exchange program happened, he was given a koi pond!

secretly likes hanging out with levi sometimes just to play with henry. makes him miss his pet fish back home

so his favorite movie is probably finding nemo and he threw a fit when nemo touched the butt

luke is probably learning german bc of simeon, though he'd like to learn more of the dead languages just for fun

i dont think he listens to music often or has any preferences, he just listens to whatever is playing on the radio

but he finds himself listening to the music mc listens to

smells like freshly baked goods all the time. or fresh laundry. but like, not combined. just depends on the day

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realcube · 4 years

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karasuno boys spending christmas with you 🎄

;tw// christmas (?), santa ig, extreme fluff, shoplifting, underage drinking, violence, ennoshita, kinoshita and narita exclusion 😞

(a/n): ik the gif isn’t hq but look how cute it is (○｀ 3′○). also i’m aware that i wrote a rather western-washed version of Christmas (despite the characters in question not being western) but as someone of an asian ethnicity, imo western traditions surrounding Christmas are a lot more..festive (?) which i hope that isn’t offensive considering that Christmas was popularised by the west. so, in short, sorry the traditions aren’t those that are celebrated in japan (or asia) but i just found it i had a lot more inspiration to write it this way. :) perhaps i’ll make a part 2 with aoba johsai or nekoma celebrating Christmas with japanese traditions

Shōyō Hinata

you spend christmas at his house bc he wants to be with his sister on the day

and any sibling that you live with, he insists that they stay over too

but if you don’t have any younger siblings then y’all just spend the whole day spoiling natsu

hinata absolutely adores how well you get on with his sister, it just makes him so happy seeing his two favourite people having fun together

although, it did make him a bitter when he asked natsu if she likes the doll he bought her and she said,

“Yeah, thank you. But look at the Furby (L/N) got me! It’s pink and so fluffy, feel it! And it talks, it’s eyes move and-” Then she continues to rave on about how amazing your gift was.

honestly, y’all spend the whole day pampering natsu; making sure she has the best christmas possible

y’all made gingerbread cookies with her, helped her built a snowman (or rather, a snowwoman because she insisted that it was a lady), snowangels, opening presents, christmas crackers, watching movies - the whole shabang.

probably the only time in the day were she was sad was at 10PM when hinata insisted that she goes to bed

natsu looked at you to back her up in her argument that she should be allowed to stay up late on christmas but you kinda just stood there like 🧍‍♀️/🧍‍♂️

not wanting to get involved in their family drama (unproblematic liege 😍😩)

eventually though, natsu did go to bed and as soon as she was sound asleep, you and hinata spent the night cuddling while watching more christmas movies as you were both too tired to do anything else

you ended up falling asleep in his arms and it was a christmas miracle that his arm didn’t get pins and needles like it usually did while cuddling for a long period of time

Tobio Kageyama

i’m a firm believer that he doesn’t celebrate christmas

not that he doesn’t like the concept, it’s just doesn’t understand the hype

plus - other than going to nationals - there isn’t much he wants and from what he knows, santa can’t make that happen

but as soon as you come over to his house on christmas day with a tub filled with cookies shaped and decorated like volleyballs, suddenly christmas is his favourite holiday

he invites you inside to eat the cookies with him and you notice that he’s watching a volleyball match on the TV

you giggle at how passionate he is about about the sport and offer to cast a Christmas movie from your phone onto the TV

he says yes since this is probably the 10th time he’s rewatched the same match

you scroll through the list of christmas movies available on Netflix, “Wanna watch Arthur Christmas?”

“No.”

“How about the Grinch?”

“Eh, no.”

“Ooh! What about the Nativity? I love that movie-”

“No thanks.”

So you ended up watching Frozen and Frozen 2 (on a different streaming site) because Kageyama didn’t like any of the Christmas movies available on Netflix

You figured that Frozen kinda counted as a Christmas movie because..there was snow :)

anyway, you already knew Kageyama tolerated Disney Movies so Frozen was your best bet

and as it turns out, he was oddly engaged by the movie which gave you an opening to slip into his arms, stifling an evil snicker the whole time

as we all know, when Kageyama is into something he is into it.

so whenever the climax of the movie comes up (or any part with high suspense) you feel him squeeze you slightly and tense up

AND IT IS THE MOST ADORABLE THING PERIODT 🥺😩

so yeah your christmas with him is not overly Praise The Lord but it very fun and cute since it mostly consists of Disney movies

(also Barbie: A Christmas Carol because it gave you both overwhelming nostalgia since he has a big sister who i now headcanon to be a barbie movie addict ✋)

Kei Tsukishima

the biggest grinch™

mostly bc every year he drops hints to both his mum and brother that he wants new headphones but every year he still gets a snowglobe from his mum and something dinosaur related from his brother

even though his brother is aware that he is ‘too old for that shit’ now

but Akiteru just loves seeing his brother’s pissed off face whenever he opens his gift (which is a similar size to a headphones box) to find something like a Jurassic Park Lego set

anyway, backstory over - in short, Tsukishima very much dislikes Christmas

So when you appear at his door with a gift, he slams the door closed

“Tsukishima!” You roar as that was quite rude - even for Tsukishima - since it was snowing and you were clearly freezing, “Let me in! I’m freezing my tits off out here!”

Eventually, he did let you in and gave you a hot chocolate as an apology but as soon as you tried to hand him the give, he refused to take it

“No.”

“Why not?” You whined, clearly upset that he wouldn’t take the gift you went through so much effort to get your hands on.

“Because I didn’t get you anything.”

You rolled your eyes, “You got me this hot chocolate - now, take it. It’s seriously not much.”

Upon eyeing the wrapped box in your hand, he realised it was about 9x9″ - the same size as the tub you usually deliver food in, meaning that the gift was probably some sweet treats

“Alright.” He sighed, accepting he gift as he figured that he could easily pay you back by making Christmas cookies with you or something

He hummed, delicately unwrapping the gift and his heart skipped a beat as he noticed the present inside was in a black box rather than a clear tub which you normally gave homemade treats in

nevertheless, he persevered in unwrapping the box

when he finally finished, his heart dropped yet he couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with joy

“Wireless headphones.” He muttered to himself, doing everything in his power to resist the smile tugging on the corner of his lips but it was challenging, to say the least

“Yeah!” You chirped, “Don’t worry about the price though, I got them on a Black Friday sale.” You lied, aware that it was usually considered rude to talk about the price of a gift you’ve given but knowing if you didn’t say anything, Tsukishima would assume you paid full price (which you did smh) and immediately empty his bank account in order to pay you back

You could almost envision the situation already; “Would you like it in cash or cheque?”

“Neither, Kei!”

“You seriously got me branded headphones?” Non-imaginary Tsukishima asked, unable to pry his eyes off the long-awaited gift in his hands

“Y-Yeah.” You stuttered at his unusually sinister voice. “I wanted to buy you noise-cancelling headphones and Google said these were the best ones available that weren’t selling for millions of y--”

“I love you.”

You did a double-take, “Huh?”

“I love you.”

You did a..triple-take.. “I-I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

“I’m not saying it again, dumbass.”

now, tsukishima wasn’t a very affectionate person but considering you paid full price for headphones (yes, he knows. you’re not a very good liar 😐) for him, the least you deserved was forehead kisses

plus, he was determined to make you as happy as you made him that day

so can get all the kisses you want, all the hugs, all the cuddles, all the smiles, all the cookies- everything!

but that’s not to say that he’s not going to get you anything in return as subtly through the day he was gathering info on what to get you

by the end of it, he had a whole list but unfortunately - after looking at his bank account - he realised that the only thing he could afford was an easy-bake oven (┬┬﹏┬┬)

Tadashi Yamaguchi

y’all spent Christmas at your house because Yamaguchi was absolutely entranced by your massive Christmas tree

he also slept over because you both wanted experience the Christmas morning buzz together

also because your parents were working on Christmas day and Yamaguchi didn’t want you to be alone 🥺

(he didn’t tell you that though as he didn’t want you to think that he felt bad for you or anything)

after you both completed you morning routines, you raced downstairs (quite literally raced; you won.) to open the presents

the milk and cookies you both hand left out for ‘Santa’ was gone because your parents chugged the milk and scarfed the cookies before they left for work

“Open the presents I got you first!” You urged Yamaguchi, pointing to the two presents wrapped in Sanrio wrapping paper

Yamaguchi did so; sitting on the floor cross-legged to open the larger, box-shaped gift first

“Candy!” He chirped with a smile, gently shifting through the selection of sweets you got him, his grin stretching as he did so and once he was finished, it was beaming ear-to-ear. “You know me so well, thank you so much, (L/N).”

You giggled, a light blush crossing your features at the praise - then motioning to the second, smaller, thinner gift.

Yamaguchi accidently tore the wrapping paper off to reveal basic, charcoal face masks.

You quickly interjected to explain, “You said that you were embarrassed about how the animal-themed face masks your mum bought you were too childish and that they just made your skin more oily so bought you those; less embarrassing and supposedly good for oily skin.”

Yamaguchi’s heart fluttered upon hearing how much attention you paid during his random rants, “Thank you, babe!” He enthused, hugging the mask to his chest.

After that, you opened the gift he bought you and were over the moon when you realised that it was a box full of adorable stationary

“I noticed how you kept complaining about your pens running out of ink during class and..yeah..I hope you like it..”

You obviously loved it and expressed that by giving him a big bear hug and many kisses (づ￣ 3￣)づ (*≧︶≦))

By then, it was around Midday so you had time to play in the snow for a bit before Yamaguchi had to go home to spend the rest of Christmas with his family

but of course he came back on Boxing Day to binge watch movies and cuddle with you 🥰

Daichi Sawamura

okay; I am going to say this and you aren’t going to argue with me bc I know that I’m right:

if you have any younger siblings or cousins staying in your house for Christmas (and I mean younger like 5 or less) and the kid isn’t a little shit

daichi (with your assistance) will dress up as Santa and you will dress up as an elf to surprise the child with a visit

daichi would be like ‘ho ho ho!’ and you’d be like ‘shut up, santa, you fatass.’

and the kid would be like ✪ ω ✪

y’all would take pictures and shit before santa dips 🚶‍♂️🛷

after that, you both would head back to his place to celebrate a kid-free christmas

you don’t open gifts because you both mutually agreed not to get anything for each other this year since you had ‘grown out of presents’ (tsk).

but you did get a RingFit Adventure from one for your relatives for Christmas so you and Daichi spend an hour or two playing that

it’s surprisingly taxing though so you’re both puffed afterwards

so you decided to make spaghetti for yourself and Daichi and a Christmas miracle occurred..he got off of his ass to help you cook 🤩

usually he’d hide his fear off fucking up under toxic masculinity but today he actually let you teach him how to make food and he was a natural chef tbh

however, his habit of grabbing your ass or holding your lower back wasn’t especially helpful while he had tomato sauce all over his hands

you changed into a different pair of bottoms as the spaghetti cooled down

then, a second Christmas miracle occurred

Daichi gave you both permission to eat in the living room, on the couch, so y’all could watch a movie or something as you ate

every other day of the year, daichi would have to be killed before he let anybody eat in the living room - forget on his new couch

but today was a special so he let it slide

originally, the plan was to watch a Christmas movie but then you noticed that a new episode of y’alls favourite show was out - House Hunters - so you just watched that instead

hey, it made you both happy so why not?

especially with daichi’s running commentary which you outwardly expressed annoyance to but internally loved

“Andromeda will never be Suzanne, rest easy.”

“That house is so ugly, next.”

“Why’s their budget so low? May as well just buy a caravan.”

“They are so fucking picky.”

“Her face annoys me.”

IT LIKE HIS ALTER-EGO IT’S AMAZING

anyway, merry christmas to the daichi stans and that is from me, not daichi - he actually forgot it was Christmas at noon

Kōshi Sugawara

SUGA IS DOMESTIC LIKE DAICHI BUT MAKE IT ❄ FESTIVE❄

y’all bake christmas cookies together, exchanges small gifts, bake carrot cake, watch The Polar Express, bake pudding, kiss under the mistletoe, bake-- yeah, there was a lot of baking

get ready to work out twice as much and start dieting if you don’t want to develop an illness due to the amount of sugar you consumed

to be honest, Suga was kinda lost for things to do on the actual day of Christmas bc y’all were so hyped preparing for it so he had no idea how to top that

I mean, you both went on romantic, late night car drives to buy a tree

cute couple trips to the store to purchase decorations

planning out and putting the decorations around the house (and with both of your keen eyes for design, the house ends up looking gorgeous ofc)

you ornamented the tree in his living room but it was so tall that he couldn’t reach the very tip to put the final decoration on top

so you hopped onto his shoulders and stuck the star on top with a smile

but he wasn’t done with you yet, he rushed around the house with you on his shoulders while you clung onto his hair as if your life depended on it

he did most of the festivities with you before Christmas but he saved one special one for the day

“(Y/N), let’s bake something.”

You sighed, shooting him a weary smile, “Suga, we’ve been baking all day.”

“Just one last thing! It’s not even baking actually, more like assembling.”

You quirked an eyebrow at his statement, “Hm? What is it?”

“Let’s make our dream houses with gingerbread!”

Of course you agreed. Not just because he is the cutest thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on but also since it sounded rather fun

“What are those?” You pointed to the weird rectangular designs on the roof of his house

“Solar panels.” He hummed, elegantly icing the sides of his house, “I want my future house run on that energy.”

“Anyway, what’ve you got on your house?” Finishing off the final swirl on his door, he turned to look at your gingerbread home and deadpanned

A sheepish grin formed on your lips as you noticed his blank expression towards your ‘dream home’ which has walls garnished with golden, edible glitter and sugar paper sanrio characters on the roof along with many other extremely unconventional things

“Hey,” you shrugged, “Let me have my dreams.”

“Of course,” Suga agreed, his usual sweet smile returning, “Although, in an ideal world, I thought we’d end up living together and starting a family. However, I don’t think we can do that if you planning on putting a horse head on our front door.”

“IT WAS JUST LYING THERE, KŌSHI! IF ANYTHING IT’S YOUR FAULT FOR GIVING ME ACCESS TO A MARZIPAN HORSE!”

“I DIDN’T THINK THAT YOU’D DECAPITATE IT, (Y/N)! I THOUGHT YOU’D USE IT FOR A STABLE OR FARM OR SOMETHING!”

“YOU SHOULD KNOW ME BETTER THAN THAT!”

Asahi Azumane

you both spent christmas day in your respective households, promising each other that you’d spend boxing day together

until around 7PM when you had to come over to his house bc he called you, extremely puzzled at the fact that random mutuals from school (and the whole volleyball team) were on his instagram page, facebook, snapchat and any/every other social media platform wishing him a happy birthday

“I don’t get it.” He spoke through the phone, confusion and anxiety apparent in his voice, “My birthday isn’t for another six days. Why do they think it is today? Is this a joke?”

“Uh, can I come over? I’d love to see you.”

“Um, sure.” He replied, even more confused that you didn’t answer his question and instead asking one yourself

you spent the rest of the day with him, trying your very best to distract him from social media by doing various activities

you both baked, watched movies, played board games (he’s a beast at battleships) then you moved on to other games like charades - basically every bs excuse you could come up with to get him to stay away from his phone

but that’s not to say you didn’t enjoy every second of it bc you did

he is so cute like whenever you are doing an action which he can’t interpret, his automatic guess is ‘are my beautiful gf (Y/N) (L/N) who i love very much? (= ❛ ᴗ ❛=)’

PRECIOUS 💓

and then you are just like, ‘yes, i am, baby. but i am also optimum prime. your turn.’

anyway, by the end of the day there was no way you were able to prevent him from finding out about the joke now

so you just decided to tell him - figuring that it’d be better for him to hear it from you rather than someone else

“See.. y’know how jesus was allegedly born on christmas day? well, the joke is that..you kinda look like what people assume jesus would’ve looked like..”

Asahi had to do a double-take at what you just said, “Th-they..think I look like jesus?”

“yeah.”

Ryūnosuke Tanaka

you’re both broke af so you spend Christmas day pretending you are a rich couple

you slept over at his house too so you could start early in the morning and by that I mean 10:30AM

firstly, you and tanaka flick through an Argos catalogue (which you found on the ground, so there were a few mud stains on it 😶) to select the gift(s) you were going to buy for your ‘children’

but really it was just you and him going through it and circling all the toys y’all wanted as kids but couldn’t afford/didn’t get

“I super badly wanted one of those kiddie monster trucks that you could control with a remote as a child so my son is going to need one of those.” Tanaka said, circling the monster truck with a marker

“Yes, of course. And I asked for Monster High dolls every year as a kid but my parents said they were everything god hates so let’s buy that because we stan satan in this house, apparently .”

“Of course, of course.” He said in his best ‘rich person’ voice which was actually just an english accent

After resenting your parents for around an hour, you both moved onto the next activity of your rich person Christmas which included reading your horoscope in an english accent

that only lasted a few minutes though because both of you couldn’t be bothered to read

you also planned to look at the stock market (just like all rich people do on christmas day, obvs) but it was so boring

you took a glance then just went ‘okay, bye.’

next, you had caviar - just like rich people eat for every meal of the day, i think.

except it was actually black pop rocks

“ah, yes. scrumptious.” “the flavour is immaculate.”

then, as dawn drew close, you and tanaka preformed your final rich person activity

no, it wasn’t being rude to minimum wage workers

no, it wasn’t being ungrateful

no, it wasn’t exploiting the working class under capitalism

no, it wasn’t being generally stuck-up and cocky

instead, it was going to the grocery shop and buying everything rather than shoplifting :)

“what should we get, babe?” you asked tanaka, in awe at how many different brands of toilet paper were on the shelves. “Have you ever noticed how spoiled we are for choice when it comes to toilet paper?”

“uh, no.” he replied in reference to the toilet paper question, “Hm, how about some gingerbread men or something?”

his suggestion was just met by a blank stare and silence

“JUST KIDDING! WE’RE TOTALLY BUYING BOOZE!”

“Hell yeah!”

luckily, because tanaka looked a lot older than 17 and also since the cashier was too tired to check his ID, you both managed to buy the drinks without getting caught

“Merry Christmas, Ryū.” You hummed, fidgeting with his hand which was interlocked with yours as you walked through a rather prestigious neighbourhood and admired all the extravagant christmas lights

“Merry Christmas, (Y/N). Love you.”

Yū Nishinoya

you and noya spent the whole day in his backyard and since it was a white christmas, you were able to spend the 90% playing in the snow

at first, you both went outside with the intention of making snowangels and taking cute couple photos in the snow

but the weather was just so inviting that you had to stay for a little longer even when you did finish taking pictures; so you made the ‘ultimate’ snowman

by that, it was just the biggest snowman y’all could make without it falling apart with stones for eyes, spiking out twigs for hair and an empty Monster Energy can for a nose

once you had completed the snowman and basked in it’s glory for a moment, you went to head inside - but then you felt something hit your back

you turned around to see noya snickering, a mischievous grin on his face which you couldn’t stand

so what started out as him playfully throwing a snowball at your back, eventually turned into a full-on snowball battle to the death

there were snow forts, piles of snow ammunition, mini snow-warriors guarding the edges of your fort, a snow-princess which you were trying to steal from each other’s fort to win (basically like capture the flag but colder..) and a few brunch bars in the middle of the battle field for snack breaks

it was all going smoothly until Noya ran up to your base, obviously with the intention to steal your princess

“stay away from her, you fiend!” You yelled, jumping into an offensive stance - your neighbours must hate you bc of all the noise you and Noya made.

Noya screaming his battle cry as he rushed towards your fort, batista bombing you to the ground before you had a chance to attack him with a snowball

now that you were out of the equation, he scurried over to your princess which was perches on a little snow podium you made for her

he grabbed it, lifting it above his head like a trophy and letting out a loud victory cry “I win!”

he then turned to you and laughed upon noticing that you had your face buried into the snow in shame, “You have been defeated, (L/N)! And the great Rolling Thunder prospers!”

“That’s a stupid nickname.” You groaned, outstretching your arms to allow him to pick you up, “Now take me inside, I’m tired.”

“Alright, babe.” He spoke softly, seemingly coming down from his adrenaline high.

He strolled towards you, scooping you up into his arms - off the snow - and carrying you inside

unbeknownst to him, you had fallen asleep as he held you and once he put you down on the couch and noticed- i- my man almost died of happiness

“Oh my god, (Y/N)! You’re so fucking cute! (❤´艸｀❤)” he hollered, peppering your face in kisses

“Shhh..” you hushed Noya, sticking your bottom lip out to form a pout

Noya nodded understandingly before hopping onto the couch beside you and snuggling up

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dollsome-does-tumblr · 3 years

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I’ve seen this floating around today so I decided to do it too! I am nothing if not a sheep.

1) How many works do you have on AO3? 322!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 886,177

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? 68, based on the very quick eyeball count I did that is very likely wrong! If you wanna know what they are, here ya go!

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

+ i’d like for you and i to go romancing (Good Omens, Crowley/Aziraphale) + The Best of It (Gilmore Girls, Rory/Paris + the general Gilmore Girls gang) + You do not have to walk on your knees (Once Upon A Time, Swan Queen) + hold my hand as i’m lowered (Game of Thrones, Jaime/Brienne) + Teenage ... Dream? (Once Upon A Time, Swan Queen)

Sidenote: It is genuinely hilarious/unreal to me that two of my most popular fics ever are ... Once Upon A Time?? I wrote Once Upon A Time????

5) Do you respond to comments, and why or why not? I always try to, because I cherish comments with all my heart, though sometimes it takes me forever! 6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Oh, this is a hard one because I usually move things in a somehow happier direction throughout a story! Maybe and when will our heartbeats fall into line?, which gets into the Gunn/Fred/Wesley/Lilah love triangle hot mess from Angel, just because, like ......... that whole situation is SO frustrating and the idea of those two other relationships ending to make way for Wes/Fred just anguishes me. So that was my story that was like, “Here’s why,” but the fact remains that that’s what happened in canon! Also, The Weight of Us, which was about Amy Pond (and Rory, and kinda River) dealing with the trauma of the whole Melody/RIver situation. I think it ends on sort of a hopeful note, but man, did I go through it feeling my bitter Amy feels writing that one!

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? Maybe i’d like for you and i to go romancing, just because it was six thousand years in the making! Or The Best of It, because that was also six thousand years in the making, in a different way (i.e. how long I took to write it).

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? On occasion! My greatest pride and joy is Paris Geller roasting Edward Cullen when he tries to make Rory his Bella in whatever our souls are made of.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic? Oh, of course! In particular I got one comment that still curdles my blood with awkwardness when I think of it.

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind? Nope! I operate under a principle of wanting to feel comfortable with the idea of everyone I have ever met IRL reading everything I have ever written and posted publicly on the internet. I would not feel comfortable in that situation!

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? I think I might have, but it was so long ago! Like, we’re talking Ff.N days of the early 2000s. So I’ve recovered.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! 13) Have you ever co-written a fic? Yes, but not for a long, long time! That seems like it was way more of a thing in the LJ days, huh? 14) What’s your all time favorite ship? Luke/Lorelai!

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? My Branson/Mary post-series, before-movie-canon-existed Downton Abbey fic! (Although maybe if someday I do a rewatch, it will give me the motivation to finally write one more chapter and finish it!) 16) What are your writing strengths? Voices and dialogue, I hope humor.

17) What are your writing weaknesses? Knowing ... things ... about ... the world?? I’m not a natural or confident researcher. Also, actually getting myself to write.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Intimidating!

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for? Harry Potter. 20) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written? Probably The Best of It because I FINISHED IT! (I know this has been my answer since 2018, but the fact remains.)

#dollsome's deep thoughts #i write things!

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 3 years

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tuesday again 8/10/21

got a bunch of followers (many of you are Cool Teens, so also a reminder im 26 and an adult and you’re responsible for curating your own internet experience) anyway there’s a bunch of new folks since the last time this was a regular series, so i am going to pre-answer some things that popped up in my inbox last week.

a quick reminder that this is empathetically NOT a recommendations or review blog series. this is a quick snapshot of what i’m thinking about with regards to mass media this week, and sometimes i’m funny about it and sometimes i also do interesting diy shit

a work can be culturally or historically relevant and important in the history of a genre AND be extremely difficult to recommend unless i know you very well due to. hm. let us say many pitfalls due to the inherent nature of the genre or the time it was made in it any number of other factors that make it unpalatable to modern audiences but still worth knowing about. doesthedogdie dot com will be your friend here for anything i talk about ever

being critical of a work doesn’t just mean pointing out its flaws- was it successful in telling the story it wanted to tell? were the techniques it used effective? were the emotions it elicited in me probably the ones the creators set out to elicit? these are key components of a good review and often help me break down what i want to say about a particular piece of media in any given week, but this isn’t a review series of blog posts either.

i am literally just some guy and you should question everything i say

listening i’m gonna wash that man right out of my hair (from the musical South Pacific) brought to you by a random mix of classic movie musicals bc apparently im that kinda gay this week.

like a lot of other fifties media that aged like milk, i have fond memories of watching this with my grandmother. this isn’t even my favorite song from the musical (that would be bali hai’i) but i think it is one of the more technically interesting non-solo ones. specifically, the faint siren-y dissonance on “ahoy, ahoy!” has really been stuck in my head. the melancholy “ah fuck we’ve broken our hearts again” vibe on “rub him out of the roll call/and drum him out of your dreams” with all the girls singing is probably a result of a soprano-heavy cast, but it’s almost chimey in a way? the rhyme scheme of those lines has an excellent mouthfeel. ms gaynor singing “cancel hiiiiiim” has a very different vibe in 2021

two (really three? maybe four? the world is large and mysterious) things can be true at the same time: i don’t think i could watch this musical again as an adult because i don’t think there’s a good way to salvage or update it. the very qualities of this musical that make me go “fuckin yikes” as adult were the very qualities that made my grandmother love it so much. i can hold a bittersweet memory of a rare late movie night with a complicated lady and at the same time wish she were a better person. the dead never leave you with answers.

reading yet another fallow week. this field is turning back into forest

watching i often say “AAA video game (derogatory)” when talking offline about the bad batc/h, but this was a real bioshock ass lookin episode. i don’t think this show is succesful at making or having a point. mostly because it cannot contradict any existing lore in one of the most traversed time periods of this franchise, even with the expanded universe reboot. it falls into the uncomfortable realm of most starred wars media: this is a franchise for children but it also has to cater to legions of grownup fanatics with lots of money. but by god does it “feel” like starred wars. something not all the sequel trilogy movies or much of the clone wars series were successful at.

as a sidebar to that last sentence. the most memorable (imo) scene of the fucking sequel trilogy is the back-to-back battle couple thing in ep seven, which i have just rewatched, and it simply does not hold up. there are too many cuts to other sideplots, which kills any tension dead, and it’s mostly fighting on opposite sides of the room in frantic desperation instead of what i wanted, which was more than five seconds of synergy. it’s a bad rhyme of the final throne room fight in rotj and my memory of the thing is so much better, which is always disappointing.

back to the main point, i think a big part of something “feeling” like starred wars is big setpieces and fights that make you go “HAHA YES FUCKIN SICK WHY NOT!!!!” like, nobody ever Just gets shot in the head and temporarily incapacitated, they get half-vadered by the engines of a derelict ship trying to go to hyperspace while it’s grounded. this franchise has never met a location it couldn’t destroy in a beautiful and awful shower of light while the string sections of three combined orchestras play their hearts out.

this franchise is so fucking stupid and i am so invested in it

playing got my hands on the death trash early access, very hype to play it, have been too busy turning this apartment into a functional and comfortable space to live in for three separate people with their own separate toiletries and groceries and work from home/school schedules

making related to the above, the fucking kitchen table and chairs are done.

things wot i did friday night/saturday morning:

new rubber feeties on everybody

wrapped the legs that structurally couldn’t get new rubber feeties in jute to be kinder to my rental linoleum

bolted the legs back on the table and rebalanced it bc the jute wasn’t quite even

did a very halfassed job of fixing the drawer rails on the table

bolted the chair tubing back together

took all the old decorative tacks out of the backs of the chairs

scrubbed the seats and backs and the pieces the tacks were holding down with mild detergent (partially effective, it still has some patina but is sanitized)

re-covered the bottoms of the chairs in remnant black polyester to replace mildewed black canvas

put in new decorative tacks on the seat backs

bolted the vinyl parts to the chrome tubing parts (a long and frustrating process since there were two sizes of decidedly non-standard nuts and bolts)

wiped everything down again for idk good luck

sitting at my kitchen table in the sun eating a breakfast sandwich and some terrible iced tea on sunday morning was very nice. i lived in the south just long enough to get Opinions on iced tea and how the north can’t get it right. shouldn’t be gritty. shouldn’t be bitter. how is this even happening

some very very halfassed “during” pics

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem #Spotify

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subjecta5newtella · 3 years

Note

WHITE BOY SUMMER AGENDA

I forgot that I had put that in the tags of this post for a second and I was like ?????? for half a second before I Remembered. and then once I Remembered I was like hey! you could make a rant out of this! I’m so sorry if you didn’t want one but I’ve been sitting on it for a while and this gives me an excuse so without further ado: the movie!minho rant

me saying minho was pushed aside in favor of the white boy summer agenda is a joke but it’s also... not. I have a lot of positive feelings about the movies but I also have mmmmm a Not Insignificant degree of bitterness about how minho got treated compared to the way thomas and newt got treated. and I don’t wanna be like “it’s all about race” because a) I don’t think it’s my place to determine that and b) I don’t claim to know what goes on behind the scenes, either in terms of outside factors or in terms of unconscious bias, but when the one non-white member of the main trio undergoes significant role reduction... i don’t love it, yknow?

it starts with screentime imo. I think it’s fair to say minho is with thomas more than anyone else in the books (I’m not about to run numbers on this, but with the exception of the betrayal sequence and the part where thomas is traveling with brenda, both in tst, as well as the couple times thomas is completely on his own in tdc, there are.... very few times they’re not together). the first movie I think does okay in this regard. we see him about as much as we see him in the book. tst I think also does fine on that specific metric, but I also do not entirely remember what happens despite rewatching it like 3 weeks ago. and then we get to tdc and he’s entirely sidelined.

in isolation, I don’t think his tdc storyline is terrible. his friends care so much about him that they’ll do absolutely anything to rescue him! WCKD tries everything they can to break him and they can’t break him! which makes an excellent contrast to the fact that newt’s death can. if I’d never read the books, I think I’d be fine with it, but unfortunately for everyone I have, which means i am well aware of the change from minho always being with thomas to minho being removed from the group dynamic, even if they’re trying to save him.

my issue with this is that characters don’t build the same way in isolation. I know this because I have been living alone during the pandemic and I have not grown as a person. but actually, though, it’s not like you CAN’T develop a character with minimal interactions with other people, but in a series that’s largely built on love and friendship, it’s really hard to bring a character into that when he’s just.... not There. since one corner of the trio is missing, everything is skewed heavily in favor of the thomas/newt dynamic, instead of being more evenly balanced. book!thomas is equally close to them in different ways; he’s consistently reassured by the presence of either one of them, and at points refers to them kinda interchangeably as his best friend. he seeks out minho first frequently, and minho’s often the first one to greet him when they’re reunited. we also, especially in tst, get a lot of back and forth between minho and newt that gives us a window into their relationship. some of these things we can’t get because of plot changes or runtime constraints or character changes, sure, but they’re not replaced with anything that makes us feel that sense of closeness.

I also think we lose out on minho’s individual arc, to a degree. in the books he goes from someone who is willing to abandon thomas and alby in a moment of panic to someone who, even with a launcher pointed at him, even surrounded by cranks who have already tried to attack him, can’t give up on newt until thomas basically drags him away. I’m... not sure he changes as drastically in the movies? we have the same starting point with the night in the maze, but starting at some point in tst I kind of felt like he was just... there, even when he was with them. yeah, he made some sarcastic comments and did some cool things (I could watch him kick a guard into a wall all fuckin day) but I think in large part his character progression stalls out sometime in tst, and isolating him from the rest of the group strips him of his opportunity to grow in relation to other people.

I’m glad that the movies did good things for thomas, I really am, because he went from a character I was constantly exasperated with to one I did actually like. book!newt is still central to my heart, but movie!newt is an extremely good character in his own right. I think the dynamic between the two of them is really interesting, and I absolutely understand why that ship is as popular as it is! I just think the decision to focus on that relationship came at the cost of minho having a truly equal role in the trio, and it doesn’t sit well with me. I’m a product of the thominho era and I know that colors my interpretation even if it’s not the ship I go hardest for, but I also just find book!minho a really interesting character, and I think he lost the most personality of anyone in the trio.

all of that combined with how heavily newt and thomas’ relationship was promoted especially for tdc,.......... it’s hard not to feel like minho was sacrificed for the White Boy Summer Agenda

#also if anyone disagrees/has more to discuss come talk to me!! would love to hear from a movies first/only person #the maze runner #tmr #tmr minho #I also feel like I had more to say on this point that I’m kinda blanking on but I will add on if I come up with it again #ask #anon #I’m so sorry anon you probably just wanted 2 like. have a goof a joke a jest and instead this

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