#i was considering page of life for the last one yknow just to have the classes matching but idk

[cringefail-clown]

ive classpected my old edgy ocs for funsies because i wanted to see what their sburb session would be like and ive got this:

rouge of time

thief of space

prince of breath

bard of blood

knight of void

seer of life

i think theyd krill each other five hours into the session

[dapper-lil-arts]

So uh. My freelance work here is kind of dying.

I thought i'd keep my long-term followers on the know-how, so i might as well write about my current circumstances here, give y'all an update, so to speak.

So, for several reasons, most of them not even my fault, i've been getting less and less commissions, almost none, actually, and the ones i get are usualy on the cheaper side, which is bad concidering that this is my livelihood, commission money pays my bills, my groceries, and my taxes, and now i sure as hell am strugling to imagine this will sustain me for long. Twitter is a sinking ship ever since elon went over, Specificaly for people like me. I had just broken into 12k followers there, a huge milestone for me, and then i got shadowbanned, and for the last few months i've gotten *nothing*. It's completely dead, i'm stagnated there, all my arts are censored, and there's no way for me to undo it or fix it, and so i've gotten less and less comms out there, which sucks because its the only reason i was even on that stupid site. Here on tumblr, meanwhile, the CEO went on a massive transphobic streak, and a lot of lgbt folk (which composed a lot of my following,) decided to jump ship, and i sure as hell dont blame them, but sadly that's more potential costumers that bailed, and there's no proper website to go to. Anywhere i'd go, i'd be starting from scratch again, which would be utterly disheartening and frustrating, and there no website that is kind to artists, with no algorythim, that also have a messaging system (the latter being ESSENTIAL to the way i do comms) So i'm kind of stuck. I just. have nowhere to go, and nothing to do. And last but not least, my own fault, I've just been drawing and creating what *I* specificaly want, on an hedonistic streak this year. That's why theres so much pony bs on this blog now, and why i was straight up posting poetry a while back, and have written hundreds upon hundreds of fanfiction pages in the last few months; Which, unfortunately, is a terrible business decision if your intent is making money. Which I surely should have prioritized, but in the end, its not up to me, its up to the costumers... So now i'm a bit stuck. I've enjoyed the things ive drawn and written more than anything i've ever done, and yet, i've never been less successful on the actual business side. I'm still considering my venues, my possibilities, but there's not many. Trying to get a job would certainly pull me away from creation, and i'd hate it regardless of what it was, and on another venue, theres no guarantee that going back to furry titties would bring me money.

and that's whats heartbreaking about it too. no matter how much effort i put on my work, theres no guarantee of sucess, so why even spend time trying to craft a masterpiece? why not just follow trends and make a tiktok account or whatever the fuck makes money these days. I'd rather not, frankly. And i wont. Well, that's about it. Thanks for reading this update, that's how my life is goin atm. i'm going to continue doing as i am right now, but yknow... I'm not sure what i should do, if you want to give me suggestions, feel free.

[soup-du-silence]

YES TUMBLR, I KNOW YEO TAGGED ME, IM AWARE, YOU DONT HAVE TO SEND ME A PUSH NOTIFICATION EVERY HOUR, I WAS AT WORK!!!!

Taico tagged me too apparently but I didnt get a notif for that??? ok

Last Song: The DJ is Cryng for Help. Excited to be the oldest bitch at the AJR concert this summer.........again lol. Love/hate relationship with the new album but they put on a good show

Favourite Colour: red! I need to re-dye the red in my hair I am considering this a reminder.

Currently watching: We've been on youtube lockdown pretty much ever since Vanguard debuted, but with the boys in japan for holofes/their upcoming 3D debuts, their schedules have been inconsistent. Alisa's a very hardcore Betellion meaning if Bettel's streaming she has him playing on at least two screens simultaneously and is active in chat, and Im a very normal Hakkito meaning I usually get through like 65% of Hakka's streams, eventually, if I have time. We'll throw on Shinri or Altare if we're caught up or there's nothing else happening. I made the mistake of introducing Alisa to HBomberguy and she's been filling the gaps with her 500th rewatch of the Plagiarism or Pathologic vids while the stars are busy. But also we're watching Dungeon Meshi! Izutsumi soon!!!!!

At this precise moment in time Alisa's watching the new JapanEat upload. (We love this guy)

Sweet/Savoury/Spicy: Spicyyyyyyy I love spicy Im a terrible cook and i only know how to season with cayenne. i dont know when exactly i started equating "flavor" with "pain" but it is what it is. I'm kind of reaching the stage in my life where I need to be more careful about what I put in my gut because sometimes just too much pepperoni will fuck me up for 24 hours but also what if I ignored my aging body and didn't do that?

Relationship status: I've been with Alisa for 15 years! We met in the Meet the Robinsons fandom on livejournal/deviant art

Current Obsession: Four years late to the party Twisted Wonderland finally got its hooks into me! (Add me on EN: ZyEdsarR) I'm very mentally unwell about Scarabia. None of the fanfic on AO3 is scratching the itch so I'm spending too much money importing doujin. It's great but it takes a month to get like eight books and oops one of them is just a straight up fanfic and im sure its banger but I can't google translate my way through 60 pages of japanese text, one of them is solid porn which, yknow, cool, but it was probably something I was in the mood for when I placed the order a month ago and now I want story, and I have to sit down at my desk with good light to translate with my phone camera when what i CRAVE is to lie in bed on my side reading fic on my phone until 2 am. I'm dying, squirtle. (Anyone got good fic recs? there is WAY too much fic for pickings to be as slim as I feel like they are)

Last thing I googled:

none of these recipes look like the amazing shit they gave us at Falafel King so wish me luck

[yourfaveisclasspected]

Ya know, everyone sending in fictional characters like Jerma985 and..... What about yours? What is Tumblr user Tacky's classpect and lunar sway

oh god. okay i knew this question was coming eventually. here's the thing- i can classpect others just fine, but when it comes to myself things get... messy. extensive ramblings under cut for those interested.

lunar sway is easy enough, though. i'm the most dersiest derse dreamer to ever dream on derse

EDIT: heads up, the image formatting seems to be broken- the post'll probably be pretty long if you click readmore. just a warning!

the thing with classpecting yourself vs classpecting other people is that, regarding yourself, you have a practically infinite amount of information to work with. i've noticed that a lot of people change their classpects over time, which makes sense; as we change and grow, we learn more about ourselves and our tendencies. for me, the issue is that i tend towards a lot more than 1 or 2 aspects, and that makes things complex.

at some point in time, i've considered an aspect for myself involving heart, mind, void, light, blood, breath, space, and time. on the extended zodiac quiz, i consistently get either light or life. on the classpect quiz, i got page of space???

x

x

^ here are the aspects that haunt me, organized by category.

of course, not all of these aspects are ones i personally agree with. i don't think under any circumstance i would be a life player, i don't have the vibes of a light player (despite my obsession with sburb dynamics), and while in a practical game of sburb i could see myself as a time or space player, i wouldn't be a space player if one was already present.

for time, breath, and mind, these connections are a bit weaker but still definitely ones i mull over a lot. especially time- breath and mind are there because i tend to shadow them a lot, but time exists there as another genuine, distinct possibility. it's not in the 3rd row because (a) thats not how image formatting works on tumblr and (b) those last 3 are. well.

these motherfuckers, man. if i had to pick my big 3, it'd be these.

void is the aspect of my patron troll, as well as how i feel i present outwardly. if someone else were to classpect me, i think they'd give me void, and that wouldn't be *wrong* necessarily.

blood is an aspect i feel linked to in a destructive sense- why i shadow breath. i've always had problems with bonds and relationships. my brain has never fully gotten them, but it continues to obsess over them regardless. i break blood, break bonds a lot. blood on my hands, blood i drew from others. i'm capable of leading, but i only tend to step up as a "last resort" type of thing- if someone else is already doing it, i stay back and keep my head down.

what the hell even is heart exactly? the leijons' version of heart involves shipping, a different type of bond and connection. i'm blind to that type of relationship; i'm aromantic and asexual. i don't "get it". if heart is the self, i have a fragmented understanding of that too, in multiple senses. dirk has a core self, and splinters. "i" am an illusion- the whole glass is broken, but we're gluing it back together and pretending it's one sole thing. a broken glass doesn't have a core piece to center itself around.

i present myself as a heart player on here, mostly because it makes sense; a heart player, analyzing others' hearts, their souls, and giving them a prescription, in a sense. a label. but i don't think i can force a label onto myself. yknow? even after cutting most of them away, there's still too many factors- an excess of void, a lack of bonds, a false identity.

heir of void.

prince of blood.

bard of heart.

there you go. go ahead and pick one! lord knows i can't LMAO

[goodmode]

Lemm: 11 (by which i mean post a photo of a bug that kinda looks like lemm), 13, 25, 31, 48?

11. Faceclaim for the role (bug photo edition)

the elephant beetle has a very good short-horn-long-horn thing going on that suits his visual BUT the thing about those is, the long horn and general design suits Nailsmith way more. yknow with the fork at the end. so i don't think lemm is that. also, precious little fuzz on those things

woolly chafers have the exact amount of fluff i'd expect from Lemm but they don't have proper horns!! also they're apparently considered excellent fliers. i don't think my interpretation of lemm lends itself to having wings at all. (i've seen some fabulous interpretations! i fully believe everyone should have wings ever if it's cool. i love that. enjoy seeing it around! just not for my headcanon specifically, i like him being a groundbound normie)

the problem with placing Lemm is that his body looks a lot like like the "generic bug" design you have for most of the husks. which are incredibly hard to place because they're just circles with lines across em. and a head. like, you can tell mantises are mantises but what the hell are the generic bugs meant to be.

i can't place him with anything that is both a.) fluffy around the neck and b.) has strong-looking horns. so i guess my headcanon for "what kind of bug is Lemm" is just: he's a bug. he's fluffy and he has horns. i cannot elaborate and choose not to try. if i wanted to justify making up a species for him i could go down any number of worldbuilding routes and the truth is i just don't care to, he's just some guy to me

tl;dr long answer to basically say i don't have one lol. same as i don't have one for a lot of the Generic Bug Types in hallownest. at least with lemm i can say i've thought extensively about it and just turned up zero zilch nada, and am choosing to stick with the "eh, he's somethin" answer

(i headcanon he's a beetle of some kind, and that the horns lend themselves to fighting/wrestling opponents. that's as far as i can get before irl species ask me to pick a branch of specialists and ruin his aesthetic one way or the other)

13. Dumbest thing they've ever done

have you ever been young and thought you're indiana jones? you may be entitled to compensation [a/n: deliberately vague because i already have a specific headcanon for this and there's a good chance i'll do something with it]

second dumbest thing is generally coming to hallownest. not a decision for an older bug with no real combat skills to make with their head in the right place

25. 3 things they’d want to take with them if they were dropped off in the middle of nowhere

a crowbar/pry-bar (hefty and practical), a wanderer's journal (reading material! ...and also has some heft), and a brush/comb for his beard because the last thing you want is tangles

31. If they had a tumblr what would it look like?

it would have one of the default boring black-on-white layouts that makes it look like a WordPress blog. his askbox would be permanently closed and his bio would say something about not wanting to be interacted with, but the proof is in the pudding (pages and pages of him arguing back and forth very rudely with other history enthusiasts). i also think he picks up a very complicated tagging system very quickly and it makes sense only to him.

mostly though, it'd be reblogs of museum photos and rebuttals about historical theories. occasionally he leaves likes on certain people's posts. he thinks no one can see your likes but he hasn't actually turned off that setting and has no idea everyone can see him exhibiting blatant favouritism, so if you scroll down his likes page it's 80% history, 15% posts by ghost about stuff they've found, and 5% younger bugs posting about history in ways that are completely incorrect (is he laughing at how dumb they are or is he appreciative of a budding interest in history? it can be both)

48. Scariest moment of their life

there have been a few! he's had a long one. a certain incident in his younger years, perhaps. after that, descending into the City of Tears for the first time and seeing the state it's in and how big it is and the shambling husks and spikes and everything else - realising how monumental this task will be and how one wrong move in a ruin like this could cost him everything, along with a haunting understanding that he is not getting any younger. scary stuff. let it never be said he backs down from a fight though

(in rp shenanigans he's also been pretty fuckin terrified by the Shadelord. ranks pretty high on the list. he didn't back down then either)

[ask meme]

[haloburns]

I posted 23,071 times in 2022

204 posts created (1%)

22,867 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@who-is-page

@ruffboijuliaburnsides

@tukoism

@dp-marvel94

@roundaboutnow

I tagged 1,885 of my posts in 2022

#danny phantom - 115 posts

#the world is having more fun than me tonight series - 94 posts

#ecto writes - 91 posts

#ecto fics - 88 posts

#my fics - 72 posts

#my au - 35 posts

#ml spoilers - 31 posts

#the batman 2022 - 26 posts

#strike back spoilers - 26 posts

#my writing - 23 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#nor did the fact that i could already read do me any favors bc i was like immediately singled out and elevated to the 1st grade reading cla

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first ten songs then tag others. No skipping!

thanks for tagging me @roundaboutnow !!

i'm gonna use my invisobang playlist that i can't share the title of yet. it's my fav right now.

1. same direction - hoobastank (honestly hoobastank fucks)

2. getting away with murder - papa roach (a classic)

3. be my escape - relient k (my beloved)

4. make it stop (september's end) - rise against (this song makes me cry)

5. until the day i die - story of the year (a perfect ghost light song, ive had it on all my songs)

6. for you, and your denial - yellowcard (oh this song fucks too. the violin man. the violin.)

7. last night on earth - green day

8. saying sorry - hawthorne heights

9. devil in the mirror - black veil brides (this song is so good for this fic...)

10. give it all - rise against

@redead-red @jadenoryuu @omnicrafts (share those crossover playlists babe!!) @floralflowerpower @bibliophilea and anyone else that wants to join in!

31 notes - Posted June 10, 2022

#4

with every sin, i still wanna be holy

Dan wants to be better. But that means dealing with his past (future?) actions and starting to make amends and acknowledging how he's hurt these people in his life. It's hard than he'd like to admit. Part of the the world is having more fun than me (tonight) series.

Lancer,

I dunno why I’m writing this. It’s stupid. I’m not even gonna send it. You don’t even know who I am! Clockwork did his meddling with time bullshit so you don’t remember me.

No one remembers me

You were my favorite teacher, yknow. You were the only one who actually gave even a little fuck about me. All my other teachers wrote me off as just another dumb lazy kid. No one knew of course.

Oh I guess I should tell you. I’m… Danny Phantom. Sort of. It’s a big mess of things, but Fenton is Phantom. That little punk Weston kid was right. That's why I missed so many assignments and always fell asleep in class. I promise I wasn’t a bad kid, Mr Lancer.

I guess I just needed to tell you who I was. So you would be understanding or some shit. Maybe so I wouldn’t feel like I failed every adult in my life.

Whatever. It’s not like I’m sending this anyway.

Dan

Read more letters on AO3!

40 notes - Posted October 6, 2022

#3

hey look at that! another redraw!

i wanted to work on style and some other things, so i redrew my avatar (again). the first one is literally just the screenshot, and then the second one is Pissed Off Ghost King™ Danny. that one was more to fuck around with ectoblasts and some other stuff. also i designed a crown!

some more stuff below the cut!

here's a version without the blasts bc im vvv proud of how these hands turned out, considering the weird ass proportions of the cartoon. big thanks to @friendly-neighborhood-imbecille for those hand ref sheets 👉🏼👉🏼 u the realest

See the full post

44 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

#2

GUYS

GUYS LOOK

my friend @i-think-in-metaphors did this amazing commission for me!!! i redid the phantom planet statue for my au, and wrote a scene for one of my upcoming works where mateo gets to see it in person. i finally got tired of imagining it and wanted to see it.

and the product. is. GORGEOUS. it's so perfect. i'm in love. i'm gonna cry about this for the next 30 years. LOOK AT HIM.

(click for quality.)

check out her commissions!!

the scene it's based on is below the cut!

Excerpt from quit telling everyone i'm (permanently) dead! (wip)

The black zirconium statue was larger than life. It towered above them on two separate, stepped obsidian pedestals, each about five-feet high. As Mateo moved closer, he could see something glittering in the bases. Danny mumbled something about ectoplasmic ice mixed into it, stronger than diamonds, but Mateo thought they looked like stars. He figured that was the intention. It was gorgeous.

He tilted his head back to take in the actual sculpture. That Danny was twice as large as the one standing next to Mateo. He felt his heart lurch a little at how serious Danny looked, the tight furrow over his brow, the determined set to his jaw. It all made him look so much older than even now, even though Mateo knew he was only sixteen when the statue was made.

The statue’s zirconium white accents were blinding in the late afternoon sunlight, and Mateo found himself shading his eyes as he looked up even higher. The hair on the statue was shorter than Mateo had seen Danny wear his, probably closer to the length it had been when he was in high school. It was swept back heroically, as if moved by an unseen wind, and the sun glinted off its sharp edges. It made the whole statue look as if it were glowing.

Crystalized ectoplasm made Phantom’s eerie green eyes, and they glowed too, though Mateo figured they probably glowed under their own power rather than a trick of the light. The statue’s eyes were trained on the thin, steel-wire Earth he cupped protectively close to his chest; it was a promise as well as a remembrance. The world remembered what Phantom did for them, and he promised them he would do it all over again if necessary.

65 notes - Posted May 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

this is the road to ruin (and we started at the end)

IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!!

(click for way better quality)

Sam did this amazing cover for me and I literally can't stop staring at it. I'm making it my phone background like immediately. Here's their post, go give it a reblog!

prologue: without you, there's no reason for my story and chapter one: fading in the afterglow are live right now!

i'll be posting every SATURDAY starting this saturday 9/3! we got seven more chapters to go, lads, so buckle up!

71 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[spaceyflowerswriting]

Not a request just a question out of curiosity. How did you feel when you first started out writing fanfics for a particular fandom? Have you always been passionate about writing? What is your method to know a character better so as to make your works seem close to their original personality?

I love your works, they genuinely make my day and would love to write for lookism one day as well and you're my biggest inspiration ❤️ hope you have a wonderful day :)

[Don't have to reply if you don't feel like it]

i got REALLY wordy so things are under a cut!

anyways can i just say this is such a sweet message 😭😭💓💕💓💕💞💖💞💕💓💖💞💘

thank u so much for sending this ask !! it always means the world to me when ppl express care and curiosity about other's creativity journeys :'] 💖

this goes for u, too, anon; if ur comfortable sharing, i'd love to hear ur own answers to ur questions! <33

how did you feel when you first started out writing fanfics for a particular fandom?

i started when i was around 9 and was very excited to share so thats what i did :] but over time i grew insecure and felt my old stuff was stupid lmao so i deleted it all off the web and then writing became a private thing for me for a very, very long time (writing like 40k, 38 chapters worth of stuff just for me 😭). i've wanted to share during my last few fandoms but never got the courage to until i got into lookism/viral hit !

(well, actually, i did share some writing during my "obey me!" phase but it was just text convos lol)

naturally, i was nervous putting my writing out in the world again esp bc the last time i did was when i like 11-12, and i was 16 when i wanted go public with my writing again 😔 im very glad i pushed myself to tho, bc its basically been a year now and i've had a blast!

i never imagined so many people would like my silly writing, enough to send in requests T_T 💕💖

have you always been passionate about writing?

kind of,,? i really only got into it because of fanfiction lol but i did consider becoming an author for like. a week of my life sjdhwhdj so really it's just a hobby i do since im the walking definition of "speaks little but thinks a lot"

gotta put thoughts down somewhere yknow? and at the end of the day, writing to me is just what art is to me; it's for fun and to express myself. sure, i wanna get better at both, but if my stuff turns out "objectively" bad, at least i know i had fun with it :'D

(that's my philosophy with art in general; make "bad" art!! have fun!!! enjoy life!!! i hate comparison/competitive things!!!! lets all just have a nice time being kind to each other!!!!!)

creative writing is very cool tho and i have a bunch of ocs i'd love to write stories for, but the artist in me is saying i want to do them webtoon style ;_;

what is your method to know a character better so as to make your works seem close to their original personality?

going to be honest, im not the best person to ask for this 😭 im the world's most casual writer and i take my "just have fun with ur art" thing very seriously;;

i.e. i just keep note of how a character acts throughout a story, characterize them along the way, and then use that as my base for any writing i do of them 😭

um. i also (re)read fandomwiki pages of them, if any, to double check for stuff 😭😭😭 occasionally i rewatch/reread moments of them in their stories when i want to look for something specific but otherwise it's just me going "hm would this character do this?", comparing it to my base, and reacting accordingly!

other times i straight up go "yeah they probably wouldnt do this BUT it would be cute so im going to do it 😍"

so, if nothing works, just let urself be self indulgent <3 unless u do want to take ur writing more seriously than i do, then uh yeah it would be much better for u to look up advice from people who take their writing more seriously ^_^"

final notes

thank u for liking my stuff, im very happy to hear they make ur day ;__; 💖💕💓💞 plus saying im ur biggest inspiration too is so,, ueueuueu,,,, ;;__;; 💞💘💞💞💘💕💖💘

i really hope u get around to writing for lookism or any other fandoms/original works!!! i wish u the absolute best with you and your writing journey, and feel free to tag/dm me with anything u write!! i'd be happy to support :]

hope you're having a wonderful day, too 💖💖

[scorittanius]

Tell me the lore of your Millie. You’ve intrigued me and also if you have a design to maybe draw that would be cool

you sly dog, you got me monologuing.

i'll draw later-

note; includes hints of a slight crossover w pokemon uranium, yet nothing much besides the news station's report.

WARNING: LONG. I AM ALSO KINDA BAD AT WRITING.

yknow how i mentioned she looked like a victorian era orphan? well, she spent majority of her early life in foster homes. she doesn't remember much, so i can't really say much more on that topic.

she was adopted by the fitsimmons when she was 8, and at first they seemed to be a lovely family; she had a bed to sleep in, food to eat, and a roof over her head, unlike many of her previous homes. when she turned 10, she started to catch on to how... weird they were. for starters, they only ever fed her vegan-friendly diets without proper vitamin supplements, so she was dealing with iron and calcium deficiencies. and occasionally they tried to have 'the talk' with her. when she accepted, it turned out said talk was just telling her she was allergic to almost all meat ( an obvious lie ), so she stopped caring.

She was 12 when the bullying and depression started up. each day when she went to school, she faced what can only be described as torment. usually the abuse from her peers was mental, but sometimes it would be physical; broken bones, scraped knees, and a left forearm so mangled it needed to be amputated were some of the main injuries sustained. Sooner or later she found homestuck, and started reading it. she found a sense of comfort in the story as a whole, yet especially vriska. with this sense of solstice, she slowly recovered, which was greatly helped when she was placed in her grandfather's care due to her parents taking up a career overseas.

Soon, we come to the main story. The day of her supposed demise was an eventful one. nothing interesting happened until around 9PM; her family gathered around the TV, watching as a news reporter talked about a nuclear disaster happening to a nearby region. she took the oppertunity to sneak out to the workshed, thus her fate was sealed. Man, the news didn't lie; radioactive air had already made it's way to their small coastal town, and it was hard to breathe. That didn't matter to Millie, though, considering she had just found her adoption papers. but before she could get them, a metal claw grabbed her waist, and she was pulled into the nightmare we all know. After the fact, after the nightmare, Millie managed to get out of the animatronic's cage despite her injuries, and with her last strength, started reading the papers. Nothing interesting recorded at first, but she felt there was something urgent in there she needed to see before she passed. Soon enough, she found the page. skimming through the words, trying to find those damned words, that damn name. She only managed to read it in her final seconds. Birth name: Millicent Rose Afton.

The final words she read as a living person. The final thought she'd have. These 3 words had been so important to her, she failed to notice the black inchor dripping from her neck before she collapsed, seemingly dead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's where we divert our attention away from her POV for. 'i cant fucking write mhy hands are sore' reasons.

After her disappearance, rumours started to spread of a mysterious figure roaming in the graveyard below jumper's cliff. almost like a spirit cursed to roam the earth forever more... Reports of the figure revealed that it was feminine, and appeared to have died a teenager. while it seemed mainly human, certain limbs, half of it's face, it's ears, and it's apparent fluffy tail, showed a likeness to an old freddy's animatronic. alongside that, it was always seen with a murder of ravens surrounding it, and a black cat by it's side.

this strange cryptid was thus named nevermore, the raven-friend only spoken of in whispers. nobody knows if it's hostile, but not even the cockiest of adventurers dared to find out.

[star-scrambled]

I HEARD YOU LIKE MOVIE SONKNUX AND LEMME SAY THAT I HAVE A MORBID FASCINATION OVER HOW THEIR DYNAMIC COULD GO WITH THE TRAUMA AND LONGCLAW AND ECHIDNA AND EVERYTHING OH MY GOD

SHAKES YOU SHAKES YOU IM SO GLAD WE’RE ON THE SAME PAGE OMGGGGGGGG

The fact that the director expressed how much he cares about their relationship makes me SO EXCITED AND HOPEFUL THAT THEY’RE GONNA HIT ALL THESE POINTS FOR THEM, ESPECIALLY BACKSTORY WISE AAAHHHHHH

I get. So Much out of the thought that these guys have been against eachother before they even knew who they were (due to being pitted against eachother by the Echidna and Longclaw). After the Eggman betrayal, only then will they finally get to decide how they feel about eachother without the input of anyone else, especially on Knuckles’ end.

ALSO I’VE MADE A LOT OF BACKSTORY ASSUMPTIONS ALREADY BUT HERE ME OUT: If Knuckles truly is still the Master Emerald guardian in this canon (along with being around Sonic’s age), its obvious why he wouldn’t be anywhere near the Longclaw attack, he’s being kept safe away from it. And maybe that’s how it is for him in general. Whilst Sonic got to have a childhood where he favoured his freedom and need for adventure over keeping his powers hidden, Knuckles might’ve been heavily sheltered due to the role he would soon take on. Maybe his only knowledge of what’s beyond his tribe is from their stories (how he could know about Sonic). I think this concept already provides some of the contrast these two characters have in most canon, especially when you consider that Knuckles doesn’t approve of how impulsive Sonic can be to a dangerous extent (yknow. such as getting caught by the Echidna when he was running around causing Longclaw to get left behind while he fled to Earth).

Having that contrast still present in some area of their life is especially important when considering that their movie selves actually can relate to eachother more than most canon due to (presumably) both of them growing up alone in the world without a family. It might be too hopeful to assume this will get addressed well, but I think it can be something so unique to these interpretations that I at least want fanon to make something out of it if it goes under the radar.

Speaking of my last paragraph, let me end this LONG response off with my favourite thing ever to come from this potential concept: Again, Sonic knows what it’s like to be alone, considering the emotional strife he went through (it made him cause a HUGE POWER OUTAGE), but he ultimately found his family and got accepted by at least one person. If he finds out that Knuckles was/is going through a similar thing, and Robotnik’s betrayal (potentially featuring a stolen M.E.) just made him stray even further from a “happy ending” like Sonic’s.....how do you think he’s going to react.

[honoredbastard]

I COME BACK WITH THOUGHTS/THEORIES ON ITADORI AND HIS RELATIONS- I THINK.

anyways, so i'll just point this out: i'm not good at speaking my thoughts in an organized manner. i absolutely suck at it, i speak on how my brain brings up the thoughts so i might ramble, get over my head in a thought, etc. i can't control it so i apologize in advance for the jumpiness of the texts. i will spell a lot of things wrong and not everything will be correct, as i read translations and on a manga site. don't worry it's not illegal, i believe.

MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD.

i apologize for my absence! last week or two weeks ago the tower to my computer completely broke and will not turn on. i tried to repair it and follow my fathers instructions but nothing worked. even cleaned off the fan and went through countless nights readjusting things. it's not my cords either so to help me out my father is working extra shifts to get me a new pc. so in the meantime i'll do small posts like these but not full writing/head canons until i have a computer tower lol. a family member was kind enough to allow me to have their phone while we work throughout this issue.

now onto the actual topic:

kenjaku and itadori's relationship. ( family wise ).

for context in the most recent chapter, 160 "colony" kamo shows up in sasaki's home and talks to her about the culling game and a barrier. but that's not the point, the point is as he's guiding her to the barrier inside her "dream" at the end he says "oh right. i almost forgot to tell you. thank you for getting along with my son." and then she is awakened inside the barrier, in her pajamas beside iguchi. when sasaki and iguchi look at the barrier and gather themselves they bring up kamo.

sasaki asked iguchi if he mentioned his son and he says no. this leaves sasaki in a state of confusion when itadori flashes in her mind. she says his name aloud like she finally connected the dots. now. why am i bringing up this whole kenjaku thanking sasaki for being his "son"'s friend. it throws me off because why didn't he thank iguchi?

did he not think iguchi meant their friendship? because sasaki was the one uninjured and still counted itadori as a friend? does iguchi not consider itadori as a friend anymore?

because we haven't seen these two at all since the incident. that raised many questions in me. as well "how can itadori be related to kamo?" and itadori is related to choso.

because kamo's technique is explained ( vaguely. we are aware he can create barriers, take over bodies, and has incredible cursed tools. chapter 134. this is also where choso makes his connection ( i believe. ) to itadori yuji as his brother. but because we saw this with todo many thought itadori just had another unconsious technique that allows the person who is hit create false memories and believe of a completely made up relationship with itadori without his knowledge. but alas, i was wrong. ) and we're given more hints shown than told ( imo ) i tried my best to make sense out of the situation and what he said. i think my conclusions are pretty solid, so continuing on.

we're given very little history on itadori, his past, and family. at the start of the manga we know that itadori's only family he knows is his grandfather and that he is ill in the hospital. at the very very beginning we learn that itadori is your average cute, fluffy, laid back but strong and goofy protagonist. in smaller words: itadori is kirby but even cuter and dumber.

my first impressions of him is a pineapple. if you're confused to this saying: it's calling a person prickly on the outside but sweet on the inside. and this is true, itadori's grandfather seems prickly and cold on the outside but he genuinely cares for itadori.

he raised itadori for all we know and did that with his all in assumption. but this ends up backfiring onto itadori, because he cares so much for his grandson - he ends up leaving a " curse " on yuji.

help people. save them.

itadori takes this to heart as his grandfathers speech is his last one. when he looks over to his grandfather the man is dead and now yuji is left alone. then the following events occur.

at this point in time i assumed itadori was an orphan ( he technically is if we're connecting the dots. his parents has not been shown, he doesn't speak of them, they aren't in the picture. we can conclude either they disowned itadori or died before he could make complete memories of them. )

but when we are shown in chapter 143 itadori's parents we see this "woman" jin ( yuji's father ) and his grandfather talking about has the same scar pattern. this scar pattern is either stitching ( assuming that is how kamo keeps the top of the opened skull from coming off. this is also how kamo revealed his cursed technique / body of sorts ( the brain, assuming that is kenjaku in his cursed technique and not the body / puppet he is controlling " getou suguru " ) to gojou. )

this is the only way i find kamo being able to assign itadori as his son. why is that you might be asking this dumbass here.

we do not have the full story, exact date, location, and full context of the memory/dream itadori is having. this cannot be fake either because kamo would than have no reason to call itadori his son. or is there? anyways.

take a leap of faith with me. imagine that before itadori is born ( he seems no more than a few weeks or days old in this memory. hence why i am thinking my conclusion is pretty solid in theory. but yknow gege, there might be something different. ) anywhooo.

TW. D3ATH/IMPLYING ANTI LIFE ATTEMPT

kamo had to have taken over yuji's mothers body after an accident OR after she gave birth to yuji. his grandfather is interrupted by her before he can finish his sentence but it seems to be leading to the conclusion that either kaori ( yuji's mother ) died while giving birth to yuji or kaori could not conceive and tried to take her own life or cause an accident that would take her life. ( i read a fan translation for this part but im pretty sure i also read the official translation today too and it added up to the same. )

i believe in the first idea, but since kamo's cursed technique wasn't explained in detail i don't know the conditions of his body technique. does the original host of the body have to be dead? can he regenerate body limbs ( i highly doubt. getou lost an arm during his fight with yuta. overconfident dick. reminding me of an ex ANTWAYS. i forgive him for being overconfident smooch. he learned. OFF TOPIC but continuing on i promise.

this is being continued from the cut off point. i'm so upset so it'll just be summarized. i can't believe this shit lol i took three hours just to finish it for it to literally cut off the bottom half.

continuing on in a sadge mood. kamo must not have the complete ability to take over a body. after all getou took his only arm he had as he was dying and choked his own body to his full ability. getou was willing to die ( possibly, you never know he could be alive if he killed his own body. moving on. ) just to have the chance to save his friend from being swallowed by a damn box.

so there has to be a chance that kamo cannot fully take over the previous persons complete consious and memory of their body. if getou still had his other arm after losing the fight to yuta, he could've choked kamo with both arms. in theory kamo wouldn't be able to control the right arm and die to the previous host choking him to death.

so why wouldn't the other hosts do it? after all, kamo did say it was his first time experiencing such a thing. assuming kamo has lived throughout many bodies in his 150+ lifespan none of the previous hosts could take control of their body.

i believe getou was completely influenced by gojou and his six eyes. there is no way gojou would even try to speak out to his friend unless he had an inkling or saw getou still in there. helpless and without the ability to save himself from the cage he's in.

being used and puppeteered in his own body by an external force. laughing in the world he could not. putting getou into a constant misery and defeat that he couldn't escape his hell. the one he tried so hard to fight and get out of. even if it was the wrong path.

gojou was the last person to witness getou dying. he had to watch getou bleed out after their conversation because he couldn't bring himself to kill his friend. the one he spent his whole jujutsu student life with. so for gojou to say such a thing to getou despite all that he did had to break getou out of his misery and give him that small sliver of hope that he could do something. of course he failed, but i doubt that's going to be the end of that.

the only way i see kamo being related to yuji is if he took over kaori's body before the pregnancy. assuming that when kamo takes over a body he becomes one with said body and is that person for however long he lives in said body. my only thing is, can he take over a persons body whilst they are alive? i would go more in depth like i did the last time but i am extremely upset about my work being erased so that's the end of this part.

thank you for reading! i have one more thing for you though.

the last time we see sukuna in a manga page after the shibuya incident is where he is on his throne and in his domain. this is after yuji is stabbed by yuta and is presumed "dead" at the time. he seems to be interested in yuta and i can think of 2-3 things. I would love to hear your theories too so don't be afraid to barge into my dms like the koolaid man.

A - sukuna is interested in Yuta because of his ability to use the reverse healing technique ( only a few sorcerers know this. sukuna being the first. shoko being the second one to be told that she has this power and then gojou. ) because of this he sees potential in yuta as well or has added this boy into his plans. after all, there is very few that can make sukuna make an expression that isn't an RBF. aka megumi and possibly gojou. I was looking at the page of him stabbing yuji and noticed we only see the entry point of where the blade enters. it's smaller because some got chunked off so its a possibility yuta used this to his advantage when "killing" yuji and instead hit an artery that could kill him but quickly healed him afterwards. or just his heart. the ideas.

B. Rika, Yuta is able to completely control Rika as shown. Even though he claims he is on the weak side, these two combined seem like an unstoppable force. He may be interested in Rika as she is a curse that has been put on someone that can fully control it. Not many people is shown to be able to control their curse. As we haven't met many.

this was enti and that's the last of my post! thank you for reading and it was a fun one. even though i had to restore this shit. anyways, i'd love you to add or fix up my ideas and tell me your thoughts and opinions! Thanks a bunch!

^ this is for pure humor

[twocubes]

The thing is. The further I get into this, the more I wonder, how exactly you're supposed to learn this stuff if you aren't in some sort of glitch-state outside of the normal functioning of the world.

Like.

No one was ever willing to teach me category theory, so I did what I could on my own. Then I had a breakdown, and part of either that or me trying to maintain myself through it was me going through the Handbook of Categorical Algebra and doing all the exercises. Then more stuff happened, I got much worse and then a little better, and now I'm like. Working 10-14 hour days every day and going through this thousand-page book at roughly 10 pages a day, which I'm told is on the upper edge of "possible".

Which I can only do because I'm not doing anything else all day.

Like. I've been surviving solely by the goodwill of family and friends (and all of you) for years as I go in and out of sanity. Right now I'm surviving because I did a friend a favor and she agreed to pay my (significantly below market rate) rent for a year, and using EBT for food (and the money the people who have kindly contributed to my patreon despite me only doing... yknow... this blog).

I know I've lost, like, maybe 4 years of my life to madness right now. But, if I'd spent those, idk, working as a TA, taking classes, or working somewhere and being a part of the world, wouldn't I have lost just as much time? Would I really have gotten that much further? Hell, would I even have gotten that far at all?

People in reality — I mean. People who learned ct from actual classes, or from actual teachers, people who exist in the world rather than seemingly solely as sequences of text and occasional images on the internet. They (you) must have some other way to learn this stuff, no? Like. There must be something I'm missing. Like. If it ends up taking a decade of dedicated study to do anything with this while also doing something else, how would it ever be worth it, by the rules of society?

There must be some intermediate steps I'm missing.

Even today, on a "relaxed" day where I only finished the chapter I'd started the day before, I worked from 7AM to 2PM without taking a break. There are 93 chapters in the elephant. And that's, like, the "dead" body of topos theory, the part that's attained a sufficient level of development that it can reliably be considered like, "finished". Complete, from the perspective of wanting to apply it to anything. Put this on top of, like, the Handbook, and that's like, what, 150 chapters-worth of hard theory? If you spend a couple of hours on them every day, that means, what, 750 days of dedication? If you take breaks on weekends it goes up to over a thousand days. So like, three years, I guess, of dedicated, no-reward, daily study. If you're doing one class a week and one thing of homework it goes up to what, 6 years? Of grad-level work? At the shortest. I mean I did a bunch of other cat stuff too...

I'm a nonsensical parasite. I live by the grace of friends who do not require me to daily commit hours of labor to proving the value of my continued existence. I'm trying very hard to finish this thing and produce something from it so I can claw my way back into reality. On some level I understand what I am doing as a last-resort act of desperation that I am trying to do as quickly as possible before I break down permanently or my luck runs out. And despite all that,

Despite all that I'm haunted by the sense that there is in fact no other way to study what I'm studying. That the only way to have enough time to read through the Elephant is to exist outside of reality.

[unitedunionofdave]

the kids: and if they have a braincell or not

BROUGHT TO YOU BY MOD GRAY AND MOD ROX

after some CAREFUL debate, thoughts, and sleep-deprived keysmashes in the discord chat, we have come up with these conclusions

john: no brain. no idea how to use it

rose: does she have a brain? does she know how to use it? yes but actually no

dave: has a braincell. knows how to use it. but, under any circumstances, will not do so

jade: has a braincell. knows how to use it

jane: has a braincell. knows how to use it but also prone to misusing it

roxy: has TWO whole braincells!! unfortunately no one is aware on what they do or if they work or not

dirk: has a braincell. uses it in the DUMBEST OF ASSEST WAYS POSSIBLE

jake: has a braincell. doesnt have a single fucking CLUE on how to use it

i need help from the smartest person around here. who do i go to?

1: jade. most trustworthy, can most likely help u w anything. if not;

2: jane. a little Less helpful but not terrible. is actually p smart and could prolly bullshit her way thru stuff. if not

3: roxy, hope the two braincells are functioning. if not

4: i hate to give dirk such a high position, but dirk. itll be a STUPIDASS solution but a solution nonetheless. but u dont want that so

5: rose. if you can sift thru her 12 pages of prose and thinking u could prolly just. make a solution from that urself. if ur Jared 19 and cant read

6: dave. similar to rose, except its 12 pages of rapping rambling and irony. could still figure out a solution from it. maybe. if not

7: Jake. he might not know how to use a braincell but he has one so he could completely stumble upon a solution. just gotta help him out a bit

and last but not least

8: john. we love john a lot but do not go to him. he wont know. like at all

ELABORATION.

most of them HAVE the braincell cause yknow most kids in homestuck were straight up supergeniuses with their fucking robots and their psychology and their sentient-robot-literal-life-creating-computer-science but the thing is they have absolutely no fucking clue on how to USE the goddamn braincell. they have it, sure, for example dirk being able to create a sentient ai, but he doesnt know how to use it, because jesus fuck, he just put himself into a situation in which he made a sentient ai

they HAVE the braincell but also dirk eats straight up teabags

roxy is an AMAZING hacker and could beat sollux after she learned alternian. but also they cant do directions for shit

well actually dirk may have been a bad example considering that he does technically know how to use it he just uses it in the stupidest fucking way possible. better example is jake he FULLY has one example being the robot bunny he made he just literally doesnt fucking know how to utilize it. man would aim a gun at a metal robot who hes fought for years and say "haha this will work!"

see the thing is. dirk uses his braincell to put himself into bad situations, which is inherently not using the braincell in of itself. technically? incredible use of the braincell, goddamn. morally? you are a FUCKING DUMBASS

jake has the POTENTIAL to use the braincell like its right there. with just a little commitment and time and effort he could be so fucking smart. but hes just. he just kind of ignores that and avoids it and so he HAS the braincell but he doesnt know how to use it.

jane fully has the braincell and usually uses it well and knows how to do so but uh. she can lose herself at times. usually quite uncommon. occasionally she will just straight up forget the answer to 10 + 10. these are few and far between however

roxy. roxy HAS braincells. theyre there. but theyre in a constant fluctuating state so neither she nor anyone else knows if theyre going to be working or not. HOWEVER, when they are, she knows how to use them and goddamn does she use them well

john? yeah no everything is just breeze and wind up there he doesnt have it. sorry john

rose TECHNICALLY has a braincell and HYPOTHETICALLY she knows how to use it. she likes to THINK that she uses it. technically? she has one, as in she sure can use it to be smart and verbose and know things. morally? fuck if she knows and fuck if anyone else does

dave DOES have a braincell and he KNOWS how to use it like the guy is smart. HOWEVER. he deliberately CHOOSES to actively ignore his smarts like if he just used the braincell for a little bit he'd know a lot of shit but like its like he just ignores that both the braincell and the knowledge on how to use it is there altogether

jade? shes the smartest. please go to her she is literally one of the most knowledgeable people here shes trustworthy

honorable mentions:

kanaya has the braincell but only in Certain Cases. you go to kanaya for certain things Only and it's up to you to figure that out

karkat? karkat has half a braincell. if you can trudge through all the shouty shit theres a half baked plan there but it's also a really Stupid half baked plan. like hes trying but. only makes it halfway

terezi? terezi doesnt seem like she has the braincell. shawty eats chalk and licks anything and everything. but she DEFINITELY HAS a braincell and uses it when she NEEDS to (like when she told john to fix the fuckin timeline.) Rezis braincell use is a SURPRISE but not an unwelcome one

(with terezi LIKE DAVE she has one and fully knows how to use it. however unlike dave instead of like deliberately avoiding using her braincell she lures people into a false sense of security by pretending she doesnt have one)

vraska has a braincell. it's there. but does she use it? thats truly the question. it's kinda a dirk situation where she has a braincell bu#t uses it stupidly. like. shes trying her best, a villain clad in blue clothes, but also. shawty what

all via mod rox

aradia may be our first case of fully knows how to use a braincell but doesnt exactly. have one? at least its not always present. she is just fuck ar0und and find 0ut :) like charcoal said. it is in the back of her mind only

sollux has a braincell and knows how to use it and fully does not want to. he just does not want to deal with it. sollux? sollux has 2 braincells same as roxy. it's his thing. UNLIKE roxy however solluxs braincells are constantly firing. he is not smart tho. they're firing but he's also like dave where he IGNORES it

solluxs braincell situation is so complex and he does not want to understand it. rose looks at him like :iamlooking: i want to psychoanalyse you. however he just wants to fuckign lay on the couch and zone out for 12 hours is that so much to ask

MOD ROX ADDITION: gamzee is no thoughts head empty however sober gamzee is FLOODED with braincells and that's why hes angry ok gnight

[xnchxntmxnt]

hi hello hey there lol, i’ll take a matchup please!! :>

fandom: genshin

gender: doesn’t matter to me! :D

what i’m wearing!

about me!

i’m not usually very talkative when surrounded by new people. i’m an introvert until i find someone i like and can be comfortable with, at which point i can pitch in to a conversation as long as the person i’m comfortable with is there too. i’m also not leaving their side :)

good talking points? uh.. i’m best at goofing around and taking absolutely nothing seriously! and i can flirt. that’s about it LMAO

also i can’t dance for the life of me. it doesn’t matter what kinda dance we’re talking, i can’t dance 🥲 i gravitate toward food and corners

ANYWAY IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CONGRATS ON YOUR ANNIVERSARY!!! your page is so pretty with the anniversary event 💖💖

THE JEWELRY. THE OUTFIT. THE SHOES BABE YOU LOOK STUNNING. INCREDIBLE. DROP DEAD GORGEOUS I JUST— ur gonna be turning heads ok

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡... 𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐄𝐈

her dress

now the fun part

ok look

she probably tagged along w a friend (probably yae) that insisted she needed to get out a little more

yknow have some fun! do something interesting! stop holing up and being a workaholic!!

well she didn't like being called a workaholic but came along anyway

you ended up sitting at the same table without really meaning to

you didn't really know a lot of people there and sorry to say but im bouncing in and out of conversations everywhere so you were kinda stuck by yourself for a while

and there was a really pretty girl next to you

well shit

*gay panic alarms going off everywhere*

luckily for you on the other side of her there was her babysitter/extrovert friend who knew how to talk to people

she kept the conversation going to the most part

but when someone asked her to dance she took the chance

so now you're sitting by yourself. with the pretty girl (whose name you learned was ei not too long ago)

i would yell @ u so fast if i saw you on ur phone instead of talking to ei

u probably don't even have pockets in that fit

put ur phone away talk to her

yeah but lucky for you she started talking first

more just trying to cut the awkward silence

and also trying to play off the silent conversation she just had through looks she had with yae

"do NOT leave me alone w them yae" "TALK TO THEM" "THEYRE PRETTY DONT LEAVE ME" "you love me"

basically how that conversation went

but she did say something first

"your jewelry is really pretty"

first compliment she could come up w

of course this gives you an opportunity to talk about it and if ur anything like me you'd probably go through a quick run-through of all ur jewelry

you show her your rings last and when u hold ur hand out she just kinda. gently takes it to look at the ring a little closer

but at the same time then ur both like "oh shit oh shit shit shit shit shit—" internally

she thinks ur hands r soft

you probably stay there for a little longer than what would be considered "normal" but its bc ur both frozen

the one time im not helping people get together is rn im so sorry

not that its intentional but i come over to make u come dance w me for a song

no i don't care if you're uncoordinated dancing is fun come join me, fucker (affectionate)

but i'd introduce myself to ei and say hi before dragging ur ass away

unfortunately you don't see very much of her for the rest of the night

until everyone's getting around to leave

she actually waited outside waiting to see you so that she could say thank you for talking to her that night bc she was worried she was going to be very alone if yae ditched her

she also wanted to give you her number

score for you

+ you probably got a cheek kiss out of it she ran away right after but it still happened

[curedeity]

Studying Days

Summary: Flora pages through her book, jotting down ideas for what enchantment to show off on her final test, when someone knocks at her door.

Why are they trying so hard to get good grades anyway?

    Flora sat in the room she shared with Bloom alone, her friend having gone out to a cafe with Stella. Laid open on her lap was a book on enchantments which she paged through, humming as she found particularly useful ones to demonstrate for her exam. Imbuing objects with permanent magic was the culmination of all they’d been learning in their enchantment class this year, and the amount of her grade that relied on this assignment reflected that.

    It was honestly good fortune that Bloom had gone out. Love her friend as she did, Flora could still admit that Bloom’s ability to sit down and study was lacking. She wouldn’t have been able to get much work done if she had spent most of it tutoring Bloom and getting the girl to focus.

    Flora had just completed the third chapter when someone knocked on the door. The tapping was too light to be Bloom, so it must’ve been one of the fellow Winx (excluding Stella, who had the unfortunate tendency to barge into rooms out of excitement). Flora closed the book, slipping a twig through to mark the pages, and called out, “Come in!”

    Flora excellently hid her surprise when Musa entered the room, a bag thrown across her shoulder. It was rare for Musa to seek out her companionship, perhaps she thought Bloom had already returned?

    “Hey, so,” Musa rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, sending Flora a crooked smile (and damn if that didn’t make her heart melt). “Tecna’s being kinda loud right now, yknow, destroying Timmy at video games again, and you and I normally get similar grades so…” Musa held out her book bag. “Wanna study together?”

    Now that Musa mentioned it, she and Flora did normally receive the highest grades among the Winx (and among most of the students, Flora was allowed to brag a little), a fact that was just so slightly out of place with their normal personas that even Flora forgot it occasionally herself. Flora’s eyes quickly darted up and down Musa’s figure, thoughts whirring through her head.

    Then, without much fanfare, Flora shrugged and gave Musa a small smile. “Sure, why not?”

    Perhaps Musa would make for Flora’s first good study partner.

    An hour later, they were both sitting on the floor with books fanning out around them. Musa’s recorder sat in the center, with Flora taking down observation notes as Musa attempted to enchant it.

    It had taken them a while to decide on what to do. Musa was apparently a practical learner, and Flora couldn’t deny that she also liked that method. Musa’s instruments made for very simple things to enchant, and they had decided that playing it should make it rain.

    It would be a very clear sign that the magic had worked correctly, and, if they managed to pull it off, be very impressive for the exam.

    Unfortunately, neither had managed to successfully do so yet.

    “Can’t we just go murder Stormy and put her essence into the flute?” Musa complained.

    Flora tapped her chin. “Well, I don’t think we would manage to do so properly if we still are having trouble with enchanting an object. Tying an essence to it would be much more complicated magic, and we should wait until we have the proper skills to do so.”

    Musa hummed and tipped her head in forced agreement, but not without adding, “I’d be really motivated to make the magic work though.”

    Flora laughed, covering her mouth with a hand. She had to admit, the idea of getting back at the Trix would be very good motivation. But she just responded with, “I guess we’ll just have to rely on the prospect of a good grade to keep us going.”

    “Sometimes it doesn’t seem that worth it.”

    At this Flora sat down more comfortably, leaning her chin into her palm as she looked over at Musa. They had already been studying for a while, so Flora supposed one conversation break was deserved. “And why’s that?”

    Musa was already waving away her previous comment. “I suppose I don’t mean it that much, I really like learning new things and that’s all the motivation I need. Guess I just wish my dad would be a bit more excited about me doing well in school. He’s nice about it and all but like, his support feels weird sometimes.”

    Flora hummed comfortingly. She had found her friends, just like Miele, liked the soft songs she knew by heart. Besides, what was there for her to say? Musa didn’t seem to want a retort, or unconditional support, so Flora would just be a vine on the wall, listening for now.

“I wanna be a musician, yknow? But my dad really hates that idea, so whenever I get good grades he’s happy, but happy in the way where he thinks I’m giving up on my dream and doing something he’d prefer. Just, sucks because I like school and I like doing well.”

At some point during her speech, Musa had flopped onto the floor, her head resting near Flora’s crossed legs. With deft fingertips, Flora undid the tight pigtails Musa’s hair normally was held in, and began running her fingers through the black strands. 

“Musa, I’m sure your father will come around to you being a musician someday, and if he doesn’t want to, I’ll go to each of your concerts to cheer you on.” Flora probably would’ve gone anyway, Musa’s music truly was beautiful, and it was always nice to hear the rare pieces she’d share with the group. And if Flora didn’t go, one of the other Winx (Tecna) most certainly would.

Musa giggled and swatted Flora’s hand away playfully. “Don’t say that, concerts take up a lot of time, especially if I ever get good enough to go on tour. You wouldn’t want to follow me to like, 20 different stops.”

Flora had never considered that. She mulled over the information, and then discarded it. “I would get Stella to teleport me.”

Musa rolled her eyes, obviously having to concede the point. “So why do you try so hard to do well in school?”

“This is trying hard to you?” Flora asked dryly, gesturing around at the state of their life. To be honest, this was probably Flora’s worst academic year of her life. She was far too busy dealing with the Trix to focus on school as much as she’d like. 

Besides Flora had never studied overly much anyway, it was more in her ability to focus.

“You know what I mean!”

Flora chuckled, and leaned back for a few moments. An answer didn’t immediately bloom on the tip of her tongue, it wasn’t something she had thought of much. School was simply something you were supposed to be good at, for no other reason than to be good at it. And Flora certainly had never found it very hard to be good at academics.

“I suppose I want to be at school to help me later in life, for a good career, but I think I may just like being good at it,” Flora shrugged, her last words making Musa cackle. “If I can be good at school, is that not enough of a reason to be?”

“I mean, it does mean you can hold your report card over Stella.”

“I’d never tease one of my friends like that. Stella does put in some effort to be good at school, and I’d never discourage her in that way.” Flora clutched a hand to her chest.

“Well, you certainly do consistently uphold your reputation of being the nicest person in all of Alfea,” Musa smirked.

Flora blinked down at her, a facade of innocence masking her face. “I have no idea what you mean.”

Musa snorted, “Sure you don’t. Now come on, let’s get back to work.”

There were many reasons Flora tried so hard at Alfea. Sometimes it was to be a good role model for her little sister, sometimes to defeat the evil forces that kept bothering them. But more commonly, it was for little things, like the look of hilariously overdramatic betrayal Bloom shot her when Musa dragged Flora out of the room, saying that “It’s time for the A honor roll girls to do some actual studying.”

[lothloriien]

reasons to stay alive

there are so many animals you haven’t seen yet

you have to see the finale of that new show you’ve been watching

if you don’t read all the books on your tbr list, who will?

yknow when there’s a thunderstorm and you’re inside and listening to the rain hammering your window and you’re all toasty warm watching the lightning flashes?

and after the storm, when you go out and the whole world smells so clean and fresh and pretty?

when you take a shower and you come out and your skin feels so soft and your hair feels so smooth it’s like you might be a mermaid

those super fudgy chocolate brownies you know the kind im talking about

think of all the dogs you haven’t petted! all the kittens you haven’t cuddled! what about them?

there’s so many new styles and aesthetics you haven’t even considered yet

all these awesome clothes that you haven’t worn enough and are just hanging in your closet waiting for their chance

who’s gonna keep the little succulent on your side table alive?

that fic you’ve been working on but haven’t updated in two months? it’s someone’s favourite and they love you for writing it

when you go to the countryside and the air smells so fresh and warm and clean

or when you go to the city and it’s so big and you feel so small and everyone is just going about their own lives and it’s just beautiful

that fuzzy feeling in your heart when you do something nice for others, like drop some change in a homeless persons’ cup, or pay for the person behind you in the drive thru, or give a little kid leftover arcade tickets and watch them light up

your favourite character would be devastated to think you could hate yourself and your life that much

the smell when you walk past a cinnabon, bonus points when you actually get to buy one and enjoy it after a really yummy dinner

there are so many bookstores you haven’t visited yet!!

the people who you game with online or talk to online will be devastated to hear it, especially because they won’t even get the closure of a funeral

some day, someone will love you so much and give you everything you wanted to the point where you’ll wonder why you even considered not being around to see it

the feeling when you turn to the last page of a book you’ve enjoyed reading so much

all those cool cities you’ve never traveled to!!

all the museums and bookstores and art museums that you haven’t seen yet!

that feeling you get when someone leaves a kudos or comment on your fic

the smell of your favourite soap mmm

the ice cream you get from that one parlour downtown 

the owner of that used bookstore who recognizes you and knows you and is always so friendly to you

dancing in the rain. even if you’re alone and in your yard and nobody can see you

coming home to your favourite food after a long day

that new hobby you’ve always wanted to try but just never got around to

you know that feeling when you guess the plot twist of a movie and you get to watch your predictions come true? real fun

or when you guess whodunnit on a mystery show?

when you treat yourself to a nice purchase that you usually wouldn’t but it just feels so good

taking a nice walk to your friends’ house when the weather is just right and you guys have a blast

driving late at night and blasting your favourite songs

when your favourite song comes on the radio and you go “!!!”

sunflowers!! they’re so pretty!

melted chocolate? it’s perfect

when you fall asleep after a really good cry and you wake up and feel so much lighter and stronger

when you climb into bed after a long, exhausting day and you feel safe and warm and maybe not happy, but you feel a little less sad

i’m going through a pretty rough patch right now, and i started thinking in the shower how much simpler things would be if i really did just end it all. and then i remembered my favourite sitcom, and the brownies my mom wanted to make with me tomorrow, and the bag of chips next to my bed, and the new friend i just made, and i feel a little better now. these are fairly self-indulgent, idk how much they’ll help anyone else, but they’re helping me

[jeonjeonggukenergy]

Anti-Hero

summary ~ in search of wine at a party that’s so not your scene, you run into jungkook, the weeb from your film class, and become determined to learn just how much he lives up to his big reputation.

pairing ~ jungkook x reader

genre ~ fluff, smut (coming in ch3!) - college!au

wordcount ~ 2.3k

warnings ~ pretty much n/a, mentions of drinking and light smut

a/n ~ v excited for these lil dorks! i thought about combining this with the upcoming chapter but it felt right on its own and i wanted to go ahead and post an update for yall haha. ch 3 will most definitely have some serious smut to look forward to 👀 thank yall for reading, i love and appreciate any form of support or feedback so so much, so feel free to msg me or send me an ask abt whatever you want! 🥰 hope u enjoy this chapter!!!

previous: chapter 1 ~ next: chapter 3 | chapter 4 (coming soon!)

~ read on ao3 ~

CHAPTER 2 ~ cowboy bebop & chill

You couldn't stop thinking about Jungkook. Every time you brought the enamel of your favorite mug to your lips, teeth knocking the rim as you exhaled to cool off your tea, it called back the click of his earrings in your mouth. Whenever you reached behind your ear to tuck away the hair you'd impulsively cropped to your chin this year, it hit the same spot you'd sucked into a bruise on his neck and you shivered. Even your slight headache thanks to the shitty vodka from the pregame reminded you of the wine you'd sought out from him in the first place and never fucking got to drink. 

You found yourself reading over your responses to each other's discussion posts from your film class, trying to find any more justification for this sudden crush than the drunken flirtation that mortified you as soon as you remembered it sober. He did seem to like your directness...but you could easily ascribe that to his similarly loosened-up state. Scanning through your reflections on The Shawshank Redemption and Casablanca, you painstakingly overanalyzed every smiley face and "I loved that part too!" Could he have been into you at all before this? Or had he just eyed you for another quick fuck at a party? Shit, what if he hated you for working him up and then leaving? If he wanted to, you knew he would have easily found someone else to finish the night with. But what if he still held it against you? The image of him bitterly turning aside to find another girl in the crowd, with your hickey still fresh on his jaw, turned your stomach more than you wanted to admit.

Shaking your head with a grounding exhale, you reminded yourself that whoever else he did or didn't hook up with was none of your business. Plus, he seemed like a genuinely nice guy and probably didn't hate you in the first place. Wow, the bar really was so fucking low. Maybe that was part of the reason you were never that bold with boys. Every classmate you'd fallen for so far at college had remained innocently unaware of your feelings, likely because you never worked up the courage to clearly express them. You hadn't even been trying this time, though—this semester had been so busy you'd barely had time for your friends, much less crushes. And now your one blowoff class had become your biggest distraction.

Jungkook, a communications & media major, couldn't afford to lose as much focus in this class as you. Normally near front-and-center, he sat all the way in the corner of the last row, wary of imaginary stares burning through the hopefully-opaque-enough curtain of his hair. Even the risk of zoning out staring at the back of your head stressed him out less than the thought of you doing the same to him.

You walked into class through the back right entrance today so you'd pass Jungkook in the front row, though you could have gone straight to your usual left-side seat from the main door. Knowing you'd never summon the courage to talk to him, you still couldn't help wanting to see his face. You didn't know just what you were looking for—some kind of confirmation or dismissal that would let you just move on with your dry-ass life—but any reason to catch a glimpse of Jungkook was a good one. Today, though, he sat far closer to the entrance than you'd expected, and his proximity stopped you in your tracks a few feet behind him. Eyes dragging down the sculpted form under his soft black sweatsuit, your stare traced the veins in his forearms to reach the hands in his lap. Catching a half-page cartoon ass in your view of the manga he gazed at intently, a snort-laugh escaped you, the sound setting him on high alert. He snapped the book shut, spinning around with eyes wide and still-long hair an understandable mess for a Monday.

"I'm so—"

"I'm so sorry!"

You both shoved out the words at the same time.

A pause swelled between you, eye contact maintained as your mouths fluttered open and shut like fish. Even awkward and off-guard like this, he was just so damn pretty. It felt unreasonable for him to seem as flustered around you as you were around him. Finally, you spoke again, solely to force the conversation forward and put you both out of your misery.

"W-what do you have to be sorry for? I'm the one who, like—ugh, I was drunk, I'm so sorry, I never would have been so, yknow, if I was sober, like that's not me I promise, I really didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or—"

"No-no-no-no-no!" Jungkook cut you off, dismissing your barely intelligible apology. Before you could cut him off in return and continue, he held up both hands between you, his eyebrows knit together in a pleading expression. "Are you kidding me? Seriously, I feel so bad, I was kind of drunk too, I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable! Please, you have nothing to worry about, it was, uh...I was...good...if...you were." He grew shyer as he continued, drifting off as a hand reached back to rub his neck. A light laugh. "You did make me have to keep my hair long for another few days, though. It's gotten so annoying to take care of, I was planning on cutting it right after the costume."

This admission perked up all your earlier curiosities about him, and a cautious smile spread over your face as Jungkook unconsciously reminded you that he was, in fact, a total dork, rather than the fuckboy you'd irrationally feared him to be.

"Wait, hold up," you snorted again. Gently. "You're telling me you grew out your hair for three, maybe four, months...for a Cowboy Bebop costume?"

"Hey, it was free and way less lame than a wig," he defended himself. Crossing his arms over his chest, he fidgeted uncomfortably, face blushing into a grin as you continued to giggle at him.

"You are such a fucking weeb," you accused lightheartedly.

Jungkook furrowed his brows back together, an anxious hand grazing the spot where you'd marked him again. "Well, you recognized my Spike costume, at least," he pouted. "You're not all innocent."

"I watched one episode with my friend, and it was dubbed," you downplayed. "Isn't watching dubs instead of subs a crime for real anime fans?"

"Actually," his eyes lit up at your rhetorical question. "The dub of Cowboy Bebop is excellent. It's pretty universally considered better than watching the OG with subs. You're right though, that is the general rule."

"Oh man, who knew." Looking down, grinning, you tried to hide how endeared you were by his earnestness. "Well, it was pretty cool, not gonna lie. I guess I kind of get the appeal."

"Would you want to start watching the rest sometime? That's one I just never get tired of," he blurted, then blushed, closing his mouth and working his lips between his teeth as his eyes stayed wide and on you. Jungkook's heart accelerated in his chest, a fist opening and closing at his hip as he tried to decide whether he regretted taking a chance on the question.

You instantly diverted all your mental energy from hoping he couldn't sense your attraction to massively overthinking your response. This was a "Netflix and chill" kind of invite, right? If he wanted you, of course you wanted him, but you had to be sure before you did something else stupid and risked having to find another discussion board buddy.

"Um...yeah, sure," you accepted. "I have to ask, though, do you mean, like...Cowboy Bebop and chill?" You raised an eyebrow, trying to look bolder than you felt. "Or...Cowboy Bebop and just...Cowboy Bebop?"

"I..." Mirroring your playful grin, Jungkook shrugged, not wanting to look like a fuckboy if he answered with the first option but also wondering—were you actually interested in watching this anime with him? The possibility puzzled him, the same way it confused you how he could go bold and then back to his shy weeb-ass self within seconds. You shrugged too, with an anxious exhale of a laugh.

"That was...weird to just say like that, sorry. We can just see where it goes, whatever you want," you backtracked, full of faux-nonchalance. The Google Calendar schedule on your phone suddenly became very interesting. "We could do another day if that works for you, but I'm free after this class once I write my discussion post—I don't have any other homework or meetings today for once."

He nodded quickly, eyebrows up. Swallowing, Jungkook saw the opportunity to show a little more initiative and seized it. "We could do that together even, 'cause we usually jump off each other anyway. So you can come over right after class if you want." He glanced up and to the left for a quick mental inventory. "Oh shit, wait, but I seriously need to clean my apartment first, can we do more like dinner time tonight? You can just come over for ramen or takeout if you want, or eat first or whatever."

"Yeah, that's fine!" you agreed warmly. "Ramen and homework, two birds with one scone. I should probably, like...get your number? So you can send me your address when you're ready or something?" You didn't want to sound too desperate, especially since you knew he was used to it, but you found yourself weirdly excited to experience something he so obviously loved. If you got dicked down too, even better, but you were definitely willing to wait on that part, especially now that this first sober conversation had restored your inhibitions. He had this slightly shy sweetness about him that just made you want to make him happy somehow. You wanted to see more of his cheesy little smile. You wanted to hear the bright laugh that occasionally rang out at the most inappropriate times, during Citizen Kane or attendance. You wanted to watch his light pink lips fall open in bliss as you kissed down his sensitive neck to the trim of his worn-in hoodie...

"Yeah sure, here." The quick touch of his hand over yours snapped you out of your thoughts as he took your phone, ready to type in his number, and—

"Wait, did you say 'two birds with one scone'? Not 'one stone'?"

You blushed furiously. Somehow him calling you out on your quirks embarrassed you more than the indecent daydream he'd interrupted. "Okay, so I saw this tweet a while back where they said 'feed two birds with one scone' to replace 'kill two birds with one stone,' I think it was just some vegan troll being all like 'don't talk about killing birds!' but it stuck with me because I just really fucking love scones."

"You...really fucking love scones?" he repeated in slight sarcasm, eyes down on your phone. You grew even shyer, but continued.

"Yeah, I bake a lot and they're my favorite thing to make. The flavor possibilities are endless and they last for days so I just keep them on hand for breakfast and snacks and to give out to friends. And they go with tea, which is my other favorite thing." Ooh, was he a tea person? Should you bring some tonight? Something earthy, to go with your ramen. Your go-to green sencha, or maybe chrysanthemum? Chamomile?

Jungkook held your phone back out in front of you, but waited silently for you to notice, enjoying the view of wheels turning in your head as you pondered tea pairings. This was the you he was used to, daydreaming in class and going on tangents as dorky as his in discussions. Even from a distance, he'd noticed you consistently gave off a vibe somewhere between absentminded professor and grandma, and this confirmation made you even cuter to him. But the hair still falling over his ears wouldn't let him forget his new physical proof of another side to you.

You finally collected your phone with a mumbly "Oh right, yeah, cool, thanks," that you prayed sounded more chill to him than it did to you.

"I just texted myself, so I have your number too now, and I'll just send you my address when I'm ready, and, uh...yeah!" he rambled a bit in response.

You nodded, confirming. "I'll see you tonight!"

"Yeah, see you tonight."

Jungkook watched you walk to your desk, silently admiring your ass and allowing himself only a moment to savor the memory of half of it filling his hand. A strange nervousness tingled through him. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about you all weekend either, and now he had a chance to get closer to you than ever before. He hoped, more than he could remember hoping for anything else, that this would go well, one way or another. He had no idea what you wanted with him, but you had him questioning everything he'd thought he wanted. Easing open his laptop, he pulled up your last discussion board response to him, signed off with a smiley face but backwards.

I like the way you think. (:

He turned his head to read it right-side-up, letting his face scrunch into a smile you wouldn't see.

Meanwhile, though the film thrilled you, you struggled to stay facing forward for the duration of class. You suspected the plot of Rear Window was simply unsettling you, but you swore you could feel Jungkook's eyes on your back. No, he was probably actually watching the movie as usual, or reading his manga if not. You were definitely just being paranoid. Definitely. Probably. Right?

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